#but I simply do not have it in me for any romantic commitment | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cursedcola · 11 months ago

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Prompt: "Will You Marry Me?"- Proposal Headcannons Characters: Everyone :) Part(s): Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia (Pt.1 !) (Pt.2 Here!) Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Warning(s): None. I mean, unless you don't want to marry any of them. Just don't read if that's the case. ALSO SLIGHT SPOILER FOR CHAPTER 7 IN SILVER Note: These are all if he is the one proposing btw. Also, I went overboard. I had to break Diasomnia into 2 parts because I exceeded tumblr's character limit. I have favorites I guess :/

This man is a child masquerading as an adult. As in to say that he resists any illogical emotions until they bottle up and explode. The traditional pathway for finding a life partner typically follows: stranger -> acquaintance -> friend -> crush -> lover ->partner. You know, as it normally goes when bonds form.

Sebek....is not a textbook case in this regard. His path is a bit more customizable

stranger -> person he is forced to interact with -> acquaintance of Lord Malleus -> Acquaintance of Lord Malleus that Sebek approves of -> Friend that Lord Malleus approves of -> Repressed Crush -> Acquaintance that Sebek avoids at all costs -> Acknowledged crush -> Acknowledged crush that Lord Malleus approves of -> Respected individual with mitigated interactions -> Courting -> awkward situationship -> lover -> awkward situationship (with better communication) -> spouse

Enough said.

This process isn’t as complicated as it may seem on paper. While there are many steps, Sebek is fortunate enough to have people in his life willing to force commitments onto him. It also helps that he has blind trust in a select few. This makes him a bit naive and easily influenced. A boon in the right hands, and a bane in others.

In short, Sebek is emotionally constipated and only acts when there’s a driving force. Otherwise he just gets frustrated. This is extremely apparent at two stages: ‘repressed crush’ and ‘awkward situationship’. Scratch that. Three stages.

Beginning at ‘repressed crush’ - Sebek realizes that he likes you when you ask about how his training is going. He happened by your dorm during his morning jog, and was more than happy to go off on a tangent of the strict regimen developed to forge a perfect knight.

Except that’s not what you wanted to hear. You were more interested in his health and how he was enjoying himself rather than how his work was benefitting Malleus.

His heart fluttered, as if a shock of electricity thrummed through his body. Having never felt this before, Sebek mistakes it for a lapse in his strength and runs off at a much faster speed than before. Forget a light jog, he had enough energy to run 500 laps around the school track.

Don’t you get it human?! You were distracting him! His body was at rest too long. Now shoo, you’re hindering him from doing his duty.

He represses these budding romantic feelings and ‘misinterprets’ them as deviant behavior. He even goes so far as to blame it on ‘useless hormones’ and convinces himself that it’ll pass. He spares it no thought until his pining becomes apparent to everyone except for himself

Que the driving force. Despite Sebek believing otherwise, he does have friends and his entire love-life can be credited to their affectionate stupidity.

Simply put, Ace takes every chance to seamlessly flirt with you whenever Sebek is around. Not in a subtle way either - he's making some risky comments and trying to eat up every moment of your time. The others in your year are well aware of what he's doing too. Deuce thinks he's being unnecessary, but also agrees that Sebek needs a push so he lets it happen. Epel has his gripes with Sebek, but admires him for his manly tenacity. So he's 100% in support of giving an extra push and even tries to copy Ace. Except... yeah, he's pretty bad at flirting so he gives up after one try. Jack is against it at first, not wanting to hurt your feelings in the process but gets talked into it after seeing you get salty over Sebek being distant. Ortho, bless his innocent soul, thinks of it as a fun experiment. Lil guy just wants everyone to be happy.

You have no idea though, which is great because all of Ace's attempts fail hardcore. Sebek and his chivalrous ways (jealousy) won't stand by if you're being constantly bombarded with 'unwanted' romantic affections.

Nevermind that you don't seem to be taking Ace seriously at all. It is still not proper behavior! It would be a stain to his Lord's image if Sebek knowingly let Malleus' beloved friend endure such a hardship.

Every time Ace makes an attempt, Sebek shuts him down faster than you ever could. You have no idea how he does it, but Sebek is always around when it happens. The timing is honestly creepy....until you catch on to what's happening because the Ramshackle prefect isn't a dumdum.

"So....prefect, how about we go get dinner together tomorrow? Just you and me, what do ya say?" Ace slides into the seat to your right during breakfast. He leans in on his fist, eyeing you with a mischievous grin that crinkles the heart on his cheek. Just as he does, Sebek occupies the seat at your left and pushes Ace back with his palm.

"Do you ever rest?! They will do no such thing, now eat your meal before it runs cold. The chefs worked too hard for their efforts to be wasted by a delinquent!" Sebek answers on your behalf like clockwork. This event was not an uncommon sight to anyone, neither was Sebek failing to control his volume, so no other student paid the show any mind.

Normally you'd let them spit a few words at each other before returning to their own devices. Yet letting this continue just felt cruel, especially knowing that Ace was doing it to get a rise from your friend. Although Sebek wasn't innocent in the matter either

"Alright - Ace, would you knock it off? You don't even like me that way so quit messing with my head. I thought you were better than this," you say in between bites, side-eyeing your friend with a disapproving glare "And you!" you turn to Sebek, "I can answer for myself. Why do you even care? It's not like you're in charge of my love life. Just because someone wants to date me doesn't make them a delinquent...sheesh"

Why...why does he care? Sebek short circuits at your scolding, opening and closing his mouth to rebuttal yet coming up with nothing. Angered by his own turmoil, he grabs his meal and goes to sit with others from his dorm.

Stupid human. How dare you be so haughty and ungrateful? He was just protecting you from....from, what exactly? It's not like you going out with Ace would impact him in any way. It's not like you were in danger or upset with his advances. If anything. he was doing a good job at keeping your relationship professional for the sake of his liege!

Go ahead and date that childish hooligan for all he cares! Sebek won't be there to protect you when you're lost, or lend you a scarf on cold winter days. Ace can be the one to call you before bed every night, and keep your yearbook photo on his desk. Possibly keep his favorite candid photo as a bookmark for his diary, not that Sebek would know anyone that keeps a journal. He can have your birthday written in his calendar with a heart drawn around it, and have your picture in his wristwatch. He can set alarms to know when your classes end and walk you home. He can worry when you're sick and listen to your obnoxious prying....he can receive all your affections, and have your loyalty. Listen to your silly ramblings and receive those random 'i just thought of you' presents that Sebek always has a dilemma over what their purpose serves

You can be Ace's headache, and Sebek's heart will be lighter for it. These attachments he's formed were a lapse in judgement and will never be allowed again.

...

Sebek asks his lord for permission to court you. The next morning Malleus wakes to find the devotee bowed outside his bedroom, forehead attached to the floor and hands laid flat on the ground in reverence. Sebek proceeds to begin a long rant about how he's succumbed to his inner demons, and that he has sinned for letting another in his heart - Malleus cuts him off, happy to see love blossoming and interested to watch it all play out. He tells Sebek to take good care of you, before leaving. Meanwhile Sebek is sobbing at his lord's blessing

Once he's gathered himself, Sebek runs to your dorm and pounds on the door with fervor despite the early hour

Grim shakes you out of sleep, grumbling something about an 'annoying bastard' at the door before flopping back in bed. He shoves two pillows over his ears and tells you to fix the problem. That's when you hear the thumping, it's relentless and somehow sours your mood beyond what you thought possible. Mornings were not meant to exist on the weekend. So with an irritated groan, you slip on a robe over your pajamas and answer the door. A fist pauses in the air, moments from striking you. Sebek freezes momentarily, his body going ridged before coughing into his fist. A light blush dusts his cheeks.

“G-good morning, human. I apologize if I've disturbed your sleep, but I have an important announcement that cannot wait any longer" Sebeck studders, focusing on the door pane instead of your disheveled morning appearance.

“Alright" you sigh, resigning yourself to his whims, "what is it?"

Sebeck bows at the waist. "I am in love with you. Please accept my affections."

And so the motions continued on. A most unconventional pairing - possibly the hottest topic of the school year, in the words of Cater Diamond - was formed. Sebek was cautious of Ace at first, their previous spats leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. When he found out the truth, he was both appalled and grateful. So much that he scorned all his friends for weeks on end for pulling a stunt like that - but also thanking them. He apologizes for calling Ace a delinquent, and his heart changes a bit in response to their 'unique' display of care. Their intentions were good, and in the end it worked out. So he can pardon the indiscretion.

Life goes on until your relationship forms an 'awkward situationship'. The first time is brief. As it is with most cases of young love, the binding force that ties you to them crumbles. On earth it is highschool. In Twisted Wonderland it is NRC. Sebek knows where he's going - to serve the Draconias . The grey area is what you plan to do...because as much as his affections have grown, Sebek isn't willing to give up his dreams for you.

He's astonished when you decide to follow him to Briar Valley. He doesn't even have to breech the topic - arrangements were already being made without his input. You wouldn't be staying at the palace against his Lord's wishes. Instead a small cottage was built at a safe distance from the main city. Close enough for you to visit the castle, and far enough for you to feel comfortable and not out of place.

Seeing you taking his wants into consideration alters Sebek's perception of your relationship. You truly were lovers, and not a passing 'hormonal induced fling'. You loved him, and it's here when he truly begins to consider a forever. It was like the time when he first called your name, no longer calling you by 'prefect' or 'human'. He had done it many times in private, yet doing so to your face altered his brain chemistry. He loved the way your name rolled off his tongue, and the way your attention became his at the call.

Which leads us to the third and final major block-aid. Years have passed, and Sebek's well grown as an established knight for the Draconia family. He works alongside Silver, and many other comrades in arms. Everything is exactly as he dreamed. Malleus has become a beloved, strong king. Sebek is respected, and you are thriving as well. He didn't have much faith in your ability to last alone - it's not that he doubts your abilities, but he did doubt his people. When you first moved to Briar Valley Sebek was well aware that there were many like his past self - fae with a hatred for humans. He worried you would struggle to fit in.

Yet you surprised him. The tensions did exist against your kind, but you managed to card a space for yourself in Briar Valley with ease. You didn't even work in the palace, instead choosing to work towards becoming a children's teacher and work towards helping future generations of fae feel comfortable around humans.

His family adored you - with his mother in particular fawning over how Sebek fell down the same pipeline she did. His father offers you both advice on being an interspecies couple - and Sebek actually found himself listening.

Huh. Character growth. Is this what it's like to mature?

All is perfect, yet not. Sebek is forced to confront this when news travels that a human was attacked on their way to the palace. The dread that coursed through his veins was unlike anything Sebek's felt in his entire life. Under Malleus' rule, humans were slowly becoming more prevalent in Briar Valley. They hadn't mentioned your name specifically, but he jumped the gun.

Against his better judgement, Sebek abandons his post and rushed to the city's clinic. The injured human wasn't you, thank the seven, but the dread lingered. So he ran to the school you taught at and practically barged into your classroom. Luckily it was empty as the day was near end. Sebek hadn't known that yet still behaved recklessly.

He rushed to your side, talking faster than your brain could keep up with while checking over your body. He flipped topics like a teen trying to pick a college major - scolding you for worrying him, blubbering gibberish about how you'd no longer be allowed to walk alone, and myriad of other things.

Sebek was so shook, that he completely forgot about his knightly station. Malleus didn't punish him for abandoning his post. Not like it mattered, considering Sebek was already doing ample damage on his own. The realization hit him like a stone punch to the gut - there was a threat to his liege, and instead of focusing on apprehending the criminal he chose to find you.

Malleus' power or his dismissal of the matter meant little in the overall picture. Sebek failed. He's ashamed beyond belief.

and yet, he can't help but wonder what ight have been. What if you were the one attacked and he chose to stay? He would have failed you in that scenario.

He's surprised to find that the prospect his failure hurts just as much - if not more. His lord is powerful, and there are many to serve him. Your last moments could have been spent in a cold medical bed, surrounded by strangers. Fading away and taking Sebek's dreams with you.

............

Ah. Since when had that word become plural? His dream was always to serve Lord Malleus. Now there are more - he wants a family, and he wants to go to that play you were organizing with the valley's children next weekend. He wants to become a greater knight to protect the city that houses all the people he cares about. Again, plural. Lilia, Silver, his siblings and parents, all the human and fae who are loyal subjects to his most revered. You, and your decedents to come.

It's frightening. How valuable one's life can become. His always belonged to the Draconia bloodline to do with at they pleased - now Sebek's in pieces. Is he truly worthy of being a knight if he cannot give his whole heart?

He doesn't blame you for this. In his youth Sebek might have tossed your relationship aside in a heartbeat - that, or he might've demanded Malleus dismiss him and send him to repent in exile or whatever. Sebek has a problem with embellishing with dramatics.

BUT... he's more mature now. Mature enough to realize that maybe he can have his cake and eat it too.

So, he asks Lilia for advice. At this time the general merely lazes around the castle like a bat on the wall - acting as an advisor and observer. Surely he'd know what to do.

"There is nothing wrong with sharing a heart amongst many. If anything, the toughest decisions make us stronger. The more you have to lose, the stronger you will become to protect"

Preach it grandpappy. Lilia wants to see his grandkids so stop the slow burn already.

It's deja vu because Sebek wants to propose as quick as possible. Just like when he confessed, the man nearly runs to your home on impulse. You can thank Lilia for your proposal not taking place at 3am with your door being broke in two (Sebek is much stronger than he was in his teens, and sometimes miscalculates his strength).

Instead, Sebek finds himself anxiously clutching a ring in his pocket the following week. It was the night of a school play you were hosting - one he was looking forward to since you were so proud in your work. Ergo, Sebek felt pride as well by default.

How unfortunate that he can't focus on the show. With his mind reeling so much, it's taking all he has to sit quietly in the audience. His eyes follow your movements as you direct the kids, and for a brief moment you smile at him from the stage.

Zap. Alright. Don't clutch metal when you're a living thunderbolt. Duly noted. If anything the jolt of pain brings him back to reality.

When the play ends, and all the children have gone home with their families, he finds you back stage sweeping confetti. His plan was to congratulate you, and take you to a nice restaurant where he could do this properly.

Except he can't wait. When you turn around from putting the broom away, he's already taken a knee and holding the ring out. Those diligent gold iris' not pulling away for one moment, as he holds the ring out between two fingers and his other hand placed over his heart as if taking an oath.

"Before you say anything - You have sacrificed time and time again for my happiness - my efforts are insignificant in comparison. I have taken your patience for granted like a spoiled juvenile. There was a time when I found this kindness of yours unnecessary. I thought it a distraction - a test of my strength to fulfill my destiny. I see now that I was foolish”

Sebek pauses, grinding his teeth together in regret and anguish.

“I had not known fear until you. I have more to lose now than ever before. Last week I abandoned my post - my purpose- In that moment, all I could think about was if you’d been attacked, then my life would be over. You make me lose all sense of logic and reason…so I demand that you take responsibility and marry me!”

{A gold band with an obsidian base. Gold and silver flakes are sealed atop the obsidian plate using resin. Very practical, yet charming nonetheless. Humans typically wear matching bands, yes? Sebek sees no purpose in getting separate designs since the point is to show proof of partnership. He needs a practical shape that will not interfere with combat, yet also wants it to be an aesthetic choice. Sebek could care less about looks, but if he’s going to give you a ring then it will be the best possible option to match to your worth}

Silver is beautiful like still ocean waters. He's breathtaking - literally and figuratively. With the beauty of a fairytale prince, personality of a wise knight, and deadliness of the deep sea. It's easy to be sucked in when Silver seemingly has no flaws. So easy that at one point there were rumors of him being a living doll, created by the fae to be a perfect solider.

These perceptions all rely on his outward appearance: the knight in shining armor. Albeit so, being so perfect almost makes him unnoticeable. Compared to his rowdy peers with quirks and notable personalities - Silver truly is a doll. Like the complacent child praised for being more mature than their siblings. He is as easily forgotten as he is admired.

Some would say that this is a flaw in itself - because no one is naturally perfect. No one is so complacent and calm at birth. It's simply a desirable flaw. One that hurts him, yet has ben praised by others.

Silver is strong. Silver is diligent. Silver is beautiful. Silver is breathtaking and yet not the showstopper - like gold. Gold brings warmth while silver is cold. Imperfections in gold give it character, and can be seen as art. Imperfections in silver are seen as unsightly scratches.

Silver knows this, yet doesn't want to be gold. He doesn't deserve to be gold.

Silver doesn't deserve anything. He has already taken so much simply by living. He has a world to be grateful for, and not enough time to repay his debts.

He is content being Silver - if he could then he'd be copper. Lesser. Yet he is Silver, a reminder of the blood he carries.

He will remain unremarkable yet dedicated. He will dedicate everything to his family and friends - do whatever he can to break free of his sleeping curse and help others. He will give until he cannot give anymore. Then he will give more, to repay all he has received.

....For as much as he is content with this life, Silver still envies gold.

You are beautiful like a new dawn. Ushering in each day with a vibrant display that commands attention. People instinctively admire you despite the risk of hurting their eyes. You heal the world naturally, and help others simply by existing. People take you for granted, because inevitably the moon will rise, and the cold will inevitably return.

You were bathed in golden light. This Silver noticed the moment he laid eyes on you. He couldn't tear his eyes away.

Silver envies gold.

........

You envy Silver. His calm, his family, his dedication despite being limited by his crippling drowsiness. Out of the students from Diasomnia, he was the one you lingered towards more often than not. The freshmen revered him for his skills, and he was a true gentle soul. You at first couldn't believe that he was Lilia's son - how did such a kind boy come from a rambunctious tease? Revelations of his past brought much to light, and now you couldn't think of him being anyone else.

Silver was loved like the first snowfall. He had a family that loved him dearly, no matter how short his time with them would be. He was raised to bring happiness to others, and protect their hearts using his demure temperament.

Silver was modest, and silver glistened when you'd expect him to the least. As the wind caressed his hair during an afternoon siesta, or sparks lit in his eyes while swinging his sword. How the horses nuzzle his side after equestrian practice, showing full trust and affection. Even in the sweat dripping from his brow, shining as he easily finishes a set of push ups.

Yet nothing struck your heart more than the melancholy he'd emit when no one was looking. How quickly he'd fade into the background, only popping in when necessary or if someone gave him note. In these moments Silver gleamed brilliantly, yet a shadow put out his shine.

You thought the melancholy inviting. It felt so natural, so real. Except you believed it balanced dangerously between despair and serene. The larger question being which side would he evidently fall towards.

.........

Silver admires gold.

He couldn't stop the pull. He just couldn't. Not with how you seemingly watch him when no one else does. Who wouldn't feel special? With the way you take note of things he normally wouldn't think of, and recklessly delve into helping others with no regard for yourself. Whether you desire the trouble is beyond him - the matter is that you see every issue through. There isn't a soul who doesn't know of the ramshackle prefect.

Perhaps this is his torment to endure. To get a taste for what he could have been, and willingly be tied to it.

Silver stares into a vanity mirror, his expression neutral despite the growing emotions inside. A slightly tattered sheet is tied around his neck like a bib, covering his front and part of his back. A shiver runs down his spine as you comb through his hair, deftly trimming the edges with a pair of kitchen scissors with the precision of a professional. A shiver runs down his spine every time your fingers linger against his scalp, either from tucking stray strands or combing through layers with your fingertips.

Your expression is stern, eyes intensely focused as you cut around his ear, afraid to nick him in the process. He finds the expression adorable yet bites his tongue. Silver couldn't think those thoughts. Not when you offered to do this out of the kindness of your heart.

Nonetheless, his heart thrums. If it were possible he'd think the organ about to pop out at any moment.

"Finished!" you smile in satisfaction and tussle Silver's soft locks for good measure. In one fell swoop, you undo the knot around his neck and pull the makeshift apron off of him. Silver nods, a slight smile teasing the edge of his lips. He stands from the chair and steps over any hair on the floor, reaching for the broom to clean before you could think to. "Thank you. I no longer need to schedule with a barber. This will save much time," In truth he had no intentions for a haircut. Either himself or his father would trim the ends once they started interfering with his sight, but he was too busy as of late. You were the one to notice how his bangs hindered his vision, and offered to help. Silver couldn't bring himself to deny your kindness. "You really like it? Hehe. Y'know, maybe I should start a shop on campus? I only started doing this since there aren't any affordable salons....maybe with it I can finally afford to fix the guest room!" you cheer and prattle on about all the different possibilities. Occasionally you'll ask for Silver's input, or even give an off hand compliment about how he was the perfect 'test subject'. Your company is intoxicating, he realizes. Talking with you is as easy as drinking water. Before Silver realizes, night has fallen and you've fallen asleep on the couch. Despite his better judgement, he finds himself wandering the Ramshackle door. He compulsively cleans up the mess you'd both left behind during his visit, doing the dishes from dinner and rearranging things here and there. As he does so, Silver notes all the little improvements around the dorm. It feels more like a home than a school building. Then again you do live alone. He wonders how often you host visitors, and if you unknowingly ensnared them just as you've done to him. He covers your shoulders with a blanket and steps outside under the moonlight.

It’s cold.

...............

You wake up the following day to find all the windows shut, your living room clean, and a warm blanket covering your shoulders. Your eyes peer around for silver, yet turn up empty.

Of course. Silver has a dorm to return to and people that would miss him if he returned late.

Shuffling around the silent dorm, the rickey old floorboards creek underneath your weight. In manufactured motions, you brew a cup of tea and pour it into the only well-used cup from the cabinet.

As your cup brews, you sit at the table with the blanket still clutched tight over your shoulders.

The tea goes cold, yet you are warm.

................

Silver loves gold.

but silver and gold don't mix. The question always is: silver or gold? When deciding a piece of jewelry to match your skin tone, people will ask 'silver or gold'? The metals are not meant to mix because they clash. It's an outfit catastrophe.

Yet, Silver cannot help but wonder. As he lays with his head in your lap and the sun and silence coaxing him to slumber - what if an outfit existed to compliment both silver and gold?

"Silver..are you sleeping again?" you tap his cheek with one hand, and his eyes open instinctively. Despite his drowsiness he will always look for you. Yet right now he's never regretted the magnetic pull more. With the sun casting a golden overcast, you peer down at him from above with tender eyes typically reserved for one's child. Your glow is breathtaking, and he cannot help the sinking feeling in his stomach that he is unworthy. With such gentle hands combing across his scalp and eyes that look upon him so tenderly - he is afraid to steal your warmth. And yet… "You are beautiful," Silver lets it slip, his hand reaching to brush against your jaw as if under a spell. He feels unnervingly calm. Not in his usual way, where he is constantly observing and playing a game of mental chess. This is a true calm, and he knows now that this is a point of no return.

Silver is beautiful like a still ocean. You are beautiful like the rising sun. When combined, a perfect image is formed just waiting for an artist to stumble upon it.

Against his wishes, the world has granted the child of dawn another gift. The gift of true love. 'True love's kiss will break the curse' and while it is childish to believe so in this case, Silver does so wholeheartedly.

When with you, the days pass like minutes. He wants nothing more than to forgo need for sleep, if only to work harder towards becoming a man worthy.

Silver envies gold for it's effortless demand for love, yet he no longer wants to be gold. He no longer wishes he were born copper.

Gold loves silver, so Silver he will be.

And with time, both Silver and Gold will be ground to dust regardless.

He thinks of this on a winter evening while holding a ring up into the moonlight. It's cold outside, yet he doesn't mind. The chill atop his nose does nothing but tinge it a lovely rosy color.

He looks through the windowpane into a home masquerading as a school building. His reflection is familiar yet changing rapidly in comparison to his family. The years have aged him, yet not by much. Silver is stronger, his soft jaw a bit sharper. His bangs have grown long again, it would soon be time for a cut. Perhaps he'd enlist a 'barber' after relocating back to the castle in briar valley.

Inside you sit at the couch, sipping from a well-used mug with Grim on your lap and watching cartoons. Silver's bag rests on the armchair, unzipped with nightly necessities spilling out the side. A slightly newer baby blue mug sits on the coffee table, with steam evaporating into the air as it waits to be used.

Silver smiles, walking towards the door and walking inside. Heat warms his cheeks and he is calm.

"I know I am unworthy of you, the thought plagues me to this very moment. Yet I cannot help but love you - like wishing on a star yet knowing deep in the depths of your heart that miracles are made not granted. I've received many, so I would know. My father gifted me life through love - and with you I understand how it is possible. I cannot imagine life without you. I promise this, I will cherish you and protect you for as long as you allow it. Would you marry me?"

Months later a ceremony is held in a secluded forest, in the yard of a cottage where a child first learned love. As an adult, he joins his most precious in matrimony, offering his sword to be sworn faithful.

You are beautiful like the first breech of daylight - and for once, Silver is happy to be a man of dawn.

Silver and gold.

Everyone wishes for silver and gold.

How do you measure it's worth?

Just by the pleasure it gives here on earth.

{A ring forged from a silver band, gold leaf embellishments, and a moss agate core. Enough said.}

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #diasomnia #sebek zigvolt #sebek zigvolt x reader #silver x reader #twst silver x reader #silver vanrouge #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland scenarios #twst imagines #I FREAKIN FINALLYT FINISHED THIS SERIES

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dekariosclan · 6 months ago

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My favorite Gale lines that I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER choose

…because they involve breaking up/hurting Gale and I am not strong enough for that 😮‍💨

Credit to the YouTubers who WERE strong enough and who posted these vids publicly for all to see: Copperspoon, BearRhi and Yaren Allena

I wanted to share for anyone who hasn’t seen these lines, because they are so heartbreakingly sweet, and they’re such a great glimpse into how deeply Gale loves Tav and how important commitment is to him. For my fellow Galemancers who are unable to select the ‘mean options’, this post is for you! Angst ahead (but worry not, I promise the end of this post will be uplifting)

So in Act II, when you are in the ‘flirting’ stage with the companions, if you find yourself romantically involved with someone else alongside Gale, you’ll get this dialogue, where he asks you to choose:

If you select the option that indicates you’d like to have a relationship with them both, Gale will respond very similarly to how he does if you ask about opening up your relationship to Halsin in Act III:

Gale: I’m sorry, but to know I had less than the whole of your heart - I can’t do it. Not when I would give all of myself to you. Call me greedy, stubborn, old-fashioned…but I cannot change who I am, or how I love. In any case, know that I harbor no ill will. I would rather see you happy with another, than not happy at all.

I love his first two sentences so much, because they really do sum up how Gale views your relationship: when he says he loves you, he loves you, and he is all-in. He gives his entire heart to you and he only asks that you do the same in return.

But also, look at how sweet and selfless he is, not harboring anger here even if you are considering ending the relationship. And, as if his lines above didn’t hurt enough, IF you are somehow strong enough to go through with the breakup, you can ask Gale if he hates you. And he says this:

Gale: I could no more hate you than I could go without air.

🫠😭😩 WHO CAN GO THROUGH WITH BREAKING UP HE IS THE SWEETEST MAN IN EXISTENCE HONEST TO GOD

Are you still with me? Is your heart obliterated? Hang on, we aren’t done. During your initial conversation you could also choose this option, stating you didn’t realize how strongly he felt:

And then Gale will respond with this:

Gale: Perhaps I should have done more. Been more charming, more flattering, harder to reach…but I was only myself, and sometimes that isn’t enough.

💔 This is especially heartbreaking, not only because of how Gale already feels like he’s ‘not enough’ after his failed relationship with Mystra, but ALSO, if you consider the exact words he says when he declares his endless devotion to Tav in the Act III alternate boat scene:

Gale: You see me as I am, and do not find me wanting. With these stars as my witness, I swear—you will always be enough for me.

You can see just how much it means to him.

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

OKAY. If you have made it this far, time for some relief. All of the above dialogue aside, if you when you immediately come to your senses and realize NO OF COURSE YOU WON’T BREAK UP WITH GALE, HOW COULD ANYONE EVER DO THAT you simply tell him you’ve chosen him and, after he very sweetly expresses his concern for the other companions’s feelings, he will proclaim his relief and unwavering love for you:

Gale: I am beyond lucky to have you. Sometimes even the power of the Weave seems mundane, compared to how you make me feel.

❤️❤️❤️

Now, go forth my fellow Galemancers, never think of this post again, be content in the knowledge that you made the right choice in choosing Gale, and kiss that wizard with tongue because HE DESERVES IT.

#gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale x tav #galemancer #spoilers

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schtrawberry · 10 months ago

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[3] personal astrology observations

[!] this is mostly an introspective view into my chart; in no way, shape, or form am i saying that any of this is fact or set in stone, nor am i saying that i am a professional astrologer. these are just presences that exist within my chart that i've felt manifest themselves in real life. simply put, take what resonates and leave what doesn't :)

— the observation that venus in the 9th house and sagittarius mars natives are far more likely to be attracted to foreigners and/or meet their future partner/s in a foreign country is true!

[nothing, just felt like confirming, esp as someone w both these placements 🤭 like, i honestly am more likely to be approached (in a romantic setting) by a foreigner both in-person and online!]

═ sun square neptune is the aspect of daydreamers. they're always thinking about an idealized version of the future or dwelling on the past. rarely do they ever think in the present. it is often easier for them to drift off into a daze either thinking about what could have been or everything that could be.

☰ chiron in fifth house indicates pain associated with creative passions and self-expression. one may have had negative experiences that have led them to feel insecure about these aspects of life; thus leading them to distance themselves from openly expressing themselves creatively. they may take great care to keep their works of art private, tone down certain parts of their personality, and may even feel ashamed to explain themselves when others ask them about certain aspects of their creative and self-expression because of negative feedback they could have gotten in the past.

but with such pain comes empathy and understanding. once developed, these natives are the first to take notice and are the fastest to lend a sensitive ear as well as a supportive hand as soon as they see others going through the same struggle.

☱ sun-lilith in harsh aspects might have been told to cover up more by both peers and grown-ups, even when wearing "acceptable" clothing when they were kids. this placement can indicate an individual that was more sexualized from a young age, which can lead to them either being hypersexual or overly-reserved sexually in adulthood.

☲ lilith in the seventh house can indicate an individual that struggles to commit and open up about who they are to their partner/s. people with lilith in this house may have had bad experiences with marriage (perhaps witnessing bad divorces or tumultuous long-term relationships between their parents) and therefore might be turned off by the thought of marriage and/or long-term partnerships.

and though this doesn't mean that the native will be a lone soul forever, it does make one more likely to have these sort of relationships at a significantly older age in comparison to other signs.

[tw: mention of domestic violence in my personal experience, i have witnessed my parents go through an incredibly bad separation (tons of emotional abuse, infidelity, and a situation actually involving domestic violence) which has honestly made me quite hesitant to get married, even as i approach my mid-20s.]

☴ the cancer rising urge to cry when someone you care about is crying or in distress in general.

☳ a few asteroid notes:

note: asteroids are less impactful to one's personality, physicality, etc. compared to personal planets. they tend to only be relevant to one's chart if they are either in a tight orb (0-1°) or have major aspects to personal planets, preferably conjunctions or oppositions.

✢ messalina (545) known as the most promiscuous woman in rome, empress messalina is still recognized today as a symbol of uncontrolled, violent, irrational, and impulsive behavior. this asteroid reminds me very much of lilith in that it is representative of dark feminine energy and having this prominent in one's chart can be indicative of an individual that is not afraid to use their sexuality to their advantage or to create harm unto others in different aspects of their lives, but especially in terms of romantic and sexual relationships.

✢ anagolay (3757) is an potentially hazardous asteroid named after anagolay, the tagalog goddess of lost things and the daughter of the hermaphroditic goddess of seasons, lakapati. she is culturally-recognized for her ability to find not only physical objects but also abstract possessions like lost opportunities and faded memories. having this prominent in one's chart can suggest an individual that is very in-tune with cycle of nature and the subsequent passage of time. they may be more sensitive to bouts of nostalgia where they dwell on things that could have been and the way that things were. may also just indicate a person that is hypersensitive to losing physical things, though.

[`] film: go (2001) dir. isao yukisada

last / next

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astropookie · 7 months ago

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asteroids related to love 💝

ao haru ride

ik this is too cheesy for my style but hope it may help :) these asteroids are just a few compared to the existing.

self love

hygeia (10): how to maintain a healthy relationship between body and soul.

medea (212): represents our healing ability. archetype of Pluto/scorpio. where we make mistakes again and again, vengeful, practically process of healing.

fated connections

devine (3561): if it has aspects with other’s person planets/asteroids could indicate a trascendental connection.

libby (5672): represents fated connections.

aura (1488): represents an intuitive connection.

karma (3811): indicates you’re destined to meet with these person due to past-life unfinished business.

destinn (6583): strong connection, destiny like.

pholus (5145): if it’s in synastry/composite chart, indicates unexpected events that would change the trajectory of your life -that has to do with this connection-.

sposetti (22354): means “married couple” in Italian. marriage potential, past life marriages or special connections.

betrayal

oenone (215): indicates people where you have been cheated on/ left by lovers or simply felt betrayal.

love synonyms

paeonia (1061): represents a flower that symbolizes love, honor and wealth.

olathe(18984): lovely, beautiful.

loving (432971): loving emotions.

ask (4894): represents the way you love someone, “love” in turkish.

liebe (7696): “love” in german. romantic expectations and needs.

pure/unconditional love

ceres (1): unconditional love, depth we’re willing to go for the ones we love.

alma (390): represents the desire of expanding our heart while time passes, optimism for love and romance.

agapenor (5023): simple appreciation. unconditional love that can last through ages, not only romantic. altruistic love.

valentine (447): sacrificial type of love, deep bonds between two people. indicates the urge to give our all without asking anything in return.

child (4580): represents our inner child. pure, unfiltered, innocent love.

isis (42): desire to nurture/protect the ones we love and care about. also may represent leadership qualities. loyalty, devotion, between others.

romantic love

amor (1221): means love in spanish. represents what we need to show/break patterns to commit with the person we want to love.

cupido (763): represents how you fall in love. I’ll think on this asteroid more like a “crush” type of “love”, innocent at first.

juno (3): can represent our romantic boundaries, what we will do for romantic -not necessarily- relationships and I have a post of juno series if you’d like an interpretation of your juno sign.

union (1585): inner need of deep and meaningful connections -any type-. indicates qualities of the relationship in composite charts.

adonis (2101): ideal type, plus if you like masculine.

groom (5129): indicates how do we approach role of marriage -long term commitment- in their life. who you may end up having this relationship, depending on your preferences.

briede (19029): like asteroid groom, associated with commitment, etc. like the name, dependa in preferences.

others

companion (8490): shows wanting to be all the time with that person. what are you looking for in a long term connection (romantic or not).

anteros (1943): manner which you reciprocate love, requited love.

luda (1158): where do people adore/love you.

link (3505): indicates the type of connection -close- between partners.

lovelock (51663): obsessive love, like the name.

galatea (74): imo idealization of our type of a person.

akashi (5881): requires introspection/exploration. hidden knowledge and potential. has to do with how our past relationships affects our present and future.

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ૮꒰ྀི⸝⸝> . <⸝⸝꒱ྀིა ∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗ */ᐠ - ˕ -マ✩ (˶˃ᆺ˂˶)∗ ࣪ ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵ )و ✩

♡ Based on personal experience and I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

♡ English is not my first language.

♡ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

#astrology #asteroids astrology #astro posts #astro placements #astro observations #pinterest #love asteroid

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dee-writes-anime · 5 months ago

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Falling In Love With Megumi Fushiguro

FEATURING Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

SUMMARY Some Megumi x reader headcanons requested by the lovely @plasmasimagination

CONTENT WARNINGS mentions of sex, CHARACTER IS AGED UP, not edited (like at all), good luck!

AUTHORS NOTE: please remember that these are my own headcannons, you do not have to agree with them in any way, shape, or form, but you do have control over your response. Friendly debates and constructive criticism is welcome, hate and rude comments are not, thank you and enjoy! <3

Our little gumi (>.<) is more of a reserved, quiet character, and I feel like this would transfer into a romantic relationship as well.

It would take him a long time to trust you, and we all know he has HELLA abandonment issues, so you better be prepared to reassure your broody monster.

Megumi is definitely the type of boyfriend who shows his love for you in subtle ways, like lingering glances or small gestures. And the two of you definitely have a whole other language on lock through hand squeezes and weighted looks.

He is the kind of guy to lean more toward acts of service for his love language, like making sure you got home safe or remembering your favorite things without asking.

And I also think he would lean more toward a homebody S/O, he is just a little guy who wants to come home after a long day, cuddle up on the couch, and read a book in silence while simply enjoying the space together.

Megumi Fushiguro has TRUST ISSUES, he went into a relationship with you having one foot out the door already. What did him in was your fierce protectiveness over him.

He had never been more in love than when you got in Gojo's face and chastised the older man for invading his space while he was trying to breathe through a panic attack.

Because he has trust issues, it's really hard for you to get any information out of him at first, that man is a brick fucking wall when he wants to be.

and even when he does let down his guard, he might not be the most eloquent in expressing his feelings. He tends to bottle up his emotions but appreciates how patient and understanding you are with him.

Though he’s generally calm, Megumi can feel a bit jealous when someone gets too close to you, though he tries to hide it. His jealousy isn’t loud or aggressive but more of a quiet sulk until you reassure him.

REPEAT AFTER ME, HE IS A POUTER!!!

Like, this man will sit down with a HUFF, lips jutted out and arms crossed tightly over his chest like a toddler being told no.

He only stops when you sit in his lap and drown his face in kisses :)

He’s not one to give verbal compliments often, but when he does, they carry a lot of weight. A simple, “You did great,” means everything coming from him.

Rather than grand romantic gestures, Megumi shows his love through practical means—like ensuring you eat properly, bringing you water during long study sessions, or patching up any wounds you might have from training.

I know there are people who believe he would act inconvenienced (much like his father) at the opportunity to take care of another person, but I believe that it helps Megumi feel more secure in your relationship. He's someone who needs to feel needed, who enjoys having a purpose, and if taking care of you is that purpose, you won't catch a single complaint about it from him.

Although he’s serious most of the time, there are rare moments where Megumi shows a more playful side, especially when he’s comfortable around you. He might tease you lightly, smirk when you’re being sassy, or ruffle your hair just to see your reaction.

He especially loves when he's playing video games with Yuuji and you overhear his friend make a snarky comment about something you did in training and the two of you start going at it over the mic like a couple of siblings.

Megumi loves that your close with his friends.

Once he’s committed, Megumi is deeply loyal. He’s not the type to leave your side easily, and you can rely on him no matter what. Even when things get difficult, he’ll stick with you, quietly supporting you through thick and thin.

Despite his cool exterior, Megumi can be a bit shy in bed, especially in the early stages of your relationship. Compliments or bold expressions of affection might fluster him, though he tries to hide it.

He also isn’t loud or vocal, but his breathing and the way he touches you speak volumes. He may let out soft sighs or low groans, but it’s the intensity in his eyes and the way his body moves with yours that communicates his desire.

Ass guy? Nah, he's an eye guy FOR SURE

During intimate moments, Megumi’s gaze rarely leaves you. He locks eyes with you as if grounding himself in the connection you share. That eye contact is intense (I'm talking the weight of a thousand suns) but comforting, as if he’s saying everything he struggles to voice.

#megumi x reader #jjk megumi #fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen megumi #jujutsu megumi #megumi fushiguro #itadori #yuji itadori #yuuji #gumi megpoid #fushiguro megumi #jjk fanart #jujutsu sorcerer #jujutsu kaisen fanart #gege akutami #jujutsu kaisen

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satzumosupremacy · 1 year ago

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Elite Bodyguard Series: Pt.8

Love you harder

Male reader x Tzuyu

Tags: Fluff, Smut, Some lovely dovely fuck positions, Deflowering

5k Words

A/N: Kinda too wholesome tbh…

As the tension grew intense—although nothing really happened apart from cuddles and kisses—the start of the relationship was pretty healthy. If you’re happy, Tzuyu’s also happy. Your heart flutters every time Tzuyu is around you. As much as you don’t like to admit it, you're head over heels for Tzuyu. But that’s all you knew; while Tzuyu loves you, it was only the tip of the iceberg that she knows.

Your closet was always filled with your clothes until, every time Tzuyu came over, a quarter of your walk-in closet became filled with hers. The bedroom also had some of her presence: a drawer filled with makeup, a small mirror, and a desk light. Every time you slept alone, her presence remained in your thoughts with a bundle of her belongings in your bedroom.

It first went from quick kisses to making out with each other for what felt like hours. You take her on late-night dates, not as much during the day to avoid any suspicion, but as always, you love enjoying everything with Tzuyu. Baking with her is fun; sometimes you mess around, and the kitchen gets messy with flour. The physical affection has even become more intense. The small moments when she looks out the window quietly at a flower shop on the way back make you buy a bouquet for her without Tzuyu even asking.

Even at this moment, as you gaze at her whisking the cupcake batter in your own kitchen, you can't help but feel the desire to kiss her or wrap your arms around Tzuyu from behind as you walk slowly, securing your hands tightly and warmly around her.

“Babe,” Tzuyu said. “Let me finish this batter, and then we can do whatever.”

"You know, each time we bake, it takes longer to prepare and put it in the oven, Tzu," you said, kissing her neck with your hands on her hips.

“That’s because of you. You’re the one distracting me,” she said playfully. And you knew, the longer she held in her urges to fuck, it would all tumble within seconds.

By the way she's dressed today, the white crop top with a pink push-up bra seduced you more. The tight leggings can only make you caress her gently, complementing her curves. Her hair smelled so floral, with a rose and vanilla scent emanating from her body, and you love it when her dimples show from a smile.

“What should we do today, Tzu?” You kiss her again while you’re slowly getting hard right against her ass. The quiet gulp she makes only leads you to assume that Tzuyu can't wait any longer. It's evident from how you consistently seduce her romantically to the thoughts of being wrapped in each other's arms in bed—naked.

It was bound to happen now or never. Only you can wait patiently.

Yet, she’s fighting herself, the only thing Tzuyu wasn’t sure of was your very intentions for her. As you slept with Twice members, seeing this side of you was different. Bottom line is—she's confused but loves you. You knew this, and you're still proving yourself. It would have been the gamble of her life if your intentions weren't so pure.

In your mind, you don’t have any bad intentions, but simply have love for Tzuyu. Even if you assure her, buy her gifts, kiss, hold hands, and even love her small imperfections, it is a relationship you want to commit to.

“Tzu, you know that I love you, right?”

"I love you too, babe. But prove it," Tzuyu said playfully and turned around to face you, only to be right in front of your face, with eyes locking. The kitchen became quiet, quiet enough to only hear the refrigerator motor running, as you didn't take your eyes off her for even a second.

"Don’t look away, Tzu," you said with a smirk, taking the whisk from Tzuyu’s hands and placing it on the countertop—still locking eyes with each other.

Then this is where the countdown begins: from months of a relationship, the kissing becomes far more intimate, passionate, and romantic, to getting a feel of each other’s bodies. And now, Tzuyu is pinned by you on the kitchen counter with nowhere she can go except for accepting your lips, which render her quiet when the kiss initiates.

Tzuyu places her hands on your chest after digging into your shirt, feeling your heart racing. “This is the problem, Tzu. You’re feeling the problem that I always have when I’m with you.”

Your words—the problem that Tzuyu also has from getting seduced, and the rapid heartbeat can only make her realize that your real intention was surely and simply loving her. Even if she felt your heart beating like this all the time whenever she laid on you, genuine feelings couldn’t be hidden from you whenever Tzuyu’s around.

Sure, you slept with her in your bed, but there was no sex or any other naughty things. To which, Tzuyu thinks about how dedicated you are to her, and how much you were willing to wait for anything that she’s not ready for.

A man, well disciplined and resilient one that she loves.

"I love you, babe," Tzuyu said, more in an excited tone, and continued to lock eyes with you.

"I know you do." You kiss her neck, up to her jawline, as she surrenders her body to you. While you both make out in the kitchen, she forgets all about the cupcake batter.

Like always, you were always the distraction.

Her arms wrap around your back, cutely pulling you in, while her head tilts the opposite way. She was never a good kisser from the start, being messy with the romantic feelings she had. With practice, Tzuyu has gotten better the more you kissed her; she learned and adapted from you.

You hold onto her nape with your other arm on her lower back as she arches. The hums she made turned into quiet moans after all the times you made out with Tzuyu. And you couldn’t get enough of it, wanting more—even louder when you get more aggressively romantic, pinning her to the counter.

After or even during spontaneous kissing, it’s always Tzuyu who runs out of breath first. Just the amount of love you give her is always greater, and how great of a kisser you are.

“Babe, the cupcake batter,” Tzuyu said, gasping for air while you kiss down to her collarbone, dangerously teased her that her tits are just a few inches away.

You break off from kissing her, “mhm, I’ll wait.” She quickly adds the last few ingredients into the batter while you smile at her. “Tzu, I’m going to take over my boss's agency in Gangnam.”

“What?” She said, all surprised by a sudden comment from you, "what happened?”

“He’s getting old and wants to retire.”

“You’re not leaving us, right?” Tzuyu said, looking at you with puppy eyes.

You nodded, “no. Why would I sit at the desk all day and let others do the job for me?”

Tzuyu faintly smiles from a worried expression. "Isn't that too much responsibility?"

“Not if I have you by my side, Tzu.” Seeing her face turn red quickly from a flirtatious comment only made Tzuyu look away and turn on the oven.

“Congratulations,” she said simply and walks towards you with a smile, “let’s go to the couch.”

You chuckled and carry Tzuyu by her legs and back as she can cover her mouth embarrassingly from her face being all red, just staring at you silently. “So adorable, Tzu.”

From the start of the relationship til now, kisses gotten longer, more touchy, and even rarely, your shirt comes off along with hers when the lights are off. Hours upon hours, the days felt quick whenever you’re with her. Tzuyu’s body is hot, her thighs felt so smooth and tone, body shaped like an hourglass, and her eyes that makes you even want her more as she looks at you with love.

As you let her down by the couch, you sit first, then Tzuyu sits on top with a lovely smile. “The sun is setting already, babe.”

“I don’t care, you don’t care. We’re here together with no one bothering us, Tzu.” Then her hands curiously caresses your shoulder and Tzuyu leans in for a kiss, which you pull her closer, faster, like you’ve been looking at Tzuyu’s lips the whole time impatiently, and initiate a kiss.

Tzuyu’s kisses weren’t the best, but for sure, you felt all the love from her, even feeling her back arching as you caress every part of her. The room becomes silent, hands naughtily exploring each other’s body. Her breaths become heavy, breaking off the kiss and gasp for air while you take the initiative to get a taste of her neck. And she hugs you in, harder by your nape. You love the way Tzuyu touches you so curiously and giving herself to you.

To say the least, you’re hard already. And her pussy is right there on you while she’s on top. It only takes both your clothes to come off. Slowly but surely, her urges will tumble down like a ticking time bomb.

And you're waiting. Patiently. Just to see how much she has resisted.

The kisses go on, minute after minute, you could hear her quiet moans as you kiss her—neck to be precise. Tzuyu always gives you the lead; she knows how great you are at kissing, whether it was her or someone else.

You hold onto her nape, pulling Tzuyu in as she tilts her head forward for another round of lips pressing against each other to take it to a different level and using your tongue. The cute chuckles Tzuyu made can only tell that she’s melting inside like always; her breath becomes heavier, moans become irresistible, and you dig into her tight crop top.

Smooth skin, pleasant with the warmth of her body as you caress every part of her back down dangerously to her ass for a gentle squeeze. She loves it every time, embarrassed to even admit to the rush of adrenaline—just loving the way you gently touch and love her.

The clip of her bra is inches away. You would boldly dare to take her top off at this point. Seducing Tzuyu onto the bed even. Feeling how hot her body is becoming, you would even come up with an excuse to cool her off faster with her clothes all off.

Like always after a steamy make-out session and after you’ve caressed her enough, it’s always Tzuyu returning the favor and placing her hands under your shirt to get a feel of your chest. But one thing she loves is your heart beating, and she breaks off the kiss. Again, you kiss her neck to hear what Tzuyu has to say, “I love you, babe.”

“I love you more, Tzu.”

“No you don’t. I do.” Tzuyu said, teasing you as she giggles, and you tried to keep a straight face the moment you looked at her—which failed miserably as you couldn’t help but smile so brightly at her. “Do I make you this happy?” She said, teasingly.

And you thought her question was straight nonsense, clearly being a yes. “What’s with you today? Why so cute today? Why are you getting so beautiful every day? Hmm?” You added, trying to avoid her question. Tzuyu finds it cute when you don’t like to admit her ways of teasing.

“Because we're together,” Tzuyu said happily, sucking her lips in after. Clearly seduced, drunk off your kisses, and in your very arms, you find her even more charming. It doesn’t take long for you to get close to her face again as she closes her eyes, kissing once again.

You decide to lay her down on the couch, where it gets even steamy from her wrist being pinned down to the armrest—all while you maintain a dominant silence while gazing directly at her from above.

The tension was always like this: her legs open, and you’re between them, pinning Tzuyu down, the silence in the room, hearts racing, all while you both lock eyes at each other. The only thing that was missing was clothes all off and bodies phyiscally giving love.

Then you go in for a kiss; the louder it is, the more fuel you put into a burning desire for love. Her back arches slowly, even her legs wrapped around your hips. Moans from Tzuyu became seductive and angelic at the same time.

You were drunk, drunk in love with Tzuyu, pouring your heart out to her, and she did the same, all without sex. You could say this is the beauty of love. Although you would want to show her a different sense of love—where bodies burn off calories, intimacy, emotional connection, and the feeling of closure—Tzuyu’s all new to this.

Neither of you cared to hear the oven alarm after forty minutes of purely kissing. So as the day darkens, Tzuyu holds you in dearly, kissing the day away.

She did feel your bulge; you felt how warm her crotch was; clothes would have been off at this point. Tzuyu runs out of breath more than you could count, gasping and chest pumping. As if she’s trying to pour out as much love as you did and only tries to match your effort.

“Babe, the cupcakes,” Tzuyu said, tiredly, overdosed on a drug called love.

“Five more minutes, Tzu. Just five more.” You knew she wouldn’t say no, all drunk and wanting more like all the other times.

You dragged it on for more than five minutes—ten, maybe even fifteen. It was likely close to twenty minutes from what you can tell, and you hesitantly break the kiss.

Her hair—all messy, lips coated with saliva, her eyes gleamed with passion, even seeing the love hormones as her pupils enlarged, and her cheeks red like she had too much alcohol was the outcome of a steamy and romantic time together.

“Let’s do a bonfire tonight, Tzu,” you said, brushing her hair as she’s embarrassed by the way her face was glowing all red and hot. She nods, speechless to say anything. You get off her and follow Tzuyu to the kitchen to see her cupcakes in the oven.

“Careful, the pan is still probably hot.” And you give her an oven glove.

“Want a taste?” She said, already blowing on the cupcake for you and slowly leaning closer to give you a taste. Tzuyu looks at you silently waiting for an answer, but you're so starstruck by her beauty.

“It’s good, warm enough for the frosting to not melt. Should we start decorating, Chef Tzu?” You said with a pleasant smile.

“What color do you want, babe?”

“Blue, your favorite.”

You wear the apron that she got out of your cabinet and begin decorating the cupcakes. Tzuyu smiles brightly, knowing she has all the time to be with you.

After finishing the cupcakes and a couple bites that you both fed each other, you intuitively thought of doing a bonfire with Tzuyu. She goes outside and sets up the small chairs, while you grab some firewood and sit right next to her after she got a blanket to cuddle.

There was no need for talking when both of you relaxed with Tzuyu leaning her head on your shoulders—blanket covering you two.

The wood crackles every second, and Tzuyu’s quietly in your arms under the night sky with the stars brightly shining. You cherrish the quiet ways she shows you that spoke a thousand words of her saying, “I love you.”

You kissed her hair, intuitively making her heart flutter. After a long day, she quickly grew tired as you gently patted her shoulders. "Tzu, let’s go wash up and go to sleep; you’re tired."

“Carry me,” she said cutely laughing and you didn’t hesitate to carry her inside while she hid her face on your neck to get a whiff of your scent.

“So adorable. So beautiful.” You complimented her each time, whether it was every hour or minute. “My lady.”

“My man.” Tzuyu added and leans on your shoulder.

You carried her inside into the bedroom but didn’t let Tzuyu down, only kissing her a few more times until it got steamy again, with her hands on your shoulders. The little moans she made were only like a tease of how she would actually sound naked. And clearly, Tzuyu did it purposely.

“Babe, I need to wash-”

“Five more minutes, Tzu.” You said, using the five minute method to your advantage. “Five, baby.”

It’s never five minutes either way.

“Babe,” Tzuyu whined cutely, out of breathe after what it felt like ten minutes, and you decided to let her go wash up.

“I’ll be in the other bathroom, Tzu.” Much as you would love to shower with her, there was a fine line that you didn’t want to cross yet.

“Okay.”

After both of you separately washed up, Tzuyu laid on the bed while using her phone waiting for you. “babe, we’ll all be busy these next few weeks. I hope you’re ready.”

“I know. I adjusted my schedules just to be with you girls after getting my position.”

Tzuyu wasn’t staring at you but your chest. It’s not like she never seen you half naked, more so of Tzuyu being distracted by your physique and blushes everytime. You turn off the light and close the door as the smallest light shines through from the window into the bedroom.

“Hug me to sleep.” Tzuyu said, cutely making you have butterflies in your stomach.

All the times she slept over, you slept quickly, and so did she. Within a few minutes, she lays her cheeks on your bare chest, arms around Tzuyu tightly as you both quickly fell asleep. In the mornings, she always wakes up first and cuddles you quietly until you wake up.

——

The sun glares at you in the morning, with Tzuyu quietly playing with your hair and admiring you with a bright smile. The moment you open your eyes, she's right beside you, smiling, greeted by such a beautiful woman who is your girlfriend.

“Good morning, babe,” Tzuyu said, smiling with a cute laugh.

“Good morning, Tzu. My beautiful Tzu.”

She’s sun-kissed, her face shining brightly in the sun as you silently stare at her. Tilting her head away, then back again, you keep your eyes on Tzuyu as she decides to play around. She starts to get shy, with rosy cheeks that have turned a pink hue from the sun.

"What's with you, babe?" she teased, looking away until you guided her back by her cheeks.

“Stay in bed longer,” you said. “Stay with me for a few more days. We can go get your clothes and other stuff.”

“Say please,” Tzuyu said, laughing, straight up teasing you at this point. You stare at her smile in the morning, dimples being shown.

“Please.” It felt humiliating as you plead her and hated yourself in a way.

She laughs, laughing even more that you’re begging her. Also seeing this small side of you that any other Twice members never seen.

“Stop laughing, Tzu.” And you held her nape, going in for a kiss to shut her up. It always works like a dream until Tzuyu decides to play fight and hide her face on your chest, all covered up by her hands.

After some laughs and squeals from Tzuyu, it got steamy to the point of Tzuyu raising her head again for an intimate morning. Her hands touched you dangerously, from your chest to your crotch, and felt your morning wood. The atmosphere of waking up with the sun shining through made both of you desire something else, more than just making out, more than feeling each other.

“Babe.” Tzuyu said shyly while you kiss all over her neck with the slightest nibbles. She digs under your shorts and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Tzu, I’m not ready for this,” you said, playfully mocking her when she said the same thing months ago.

“You shouldn’t wait any longer, babe.” Tzuyu murmured. “I can’t also.”

You freely caress her, squeezing her ass gently with a slap. “Let’s make love, Tzu.” And you didn’t hesitate to get on top and pin her wrist to the pillow with the eyes you both gave each other. Slowly, you lean in towards her neck, kissing them down to her stomach, and take off her shirt. Her body’s amazing, much as you’ve seen glimpse of it, it’s always what you couldn’t stop looking at, whether if her clothes were on or not. You slowly take off her shorts that she brought over the times Tzuyu slept for the night.

Black bra, black panties, that hourglass body that you couldn’t stop touching, thighs so toned—the beauty she is—she's all yours. Tzuyu did the same in return, taking your clothes off. She looks at your cock, and her hands slowly get a feel for what she always felt during all those steamy kisses.

“I’m all yours, baby,” Tzuyu said, seducing and making you gulp from just seeing her naked body.

You reach for her hands to hold, and slowly, you kiss every part of Tzuyu’s gorgeous body down to her thighs, and she spreads her legs, inviting you for something to eat. She moaned the moment your tongue got a taste. You slowly eat her out, in the right spots to feel her hands squeeze yours uncontrollably.

“Taste so good,” you murmured with your lips on her pussy. She couldn’t respond quick enough as you continued to eat her out, slowly quickening up the pace to make her squirm around, moaning even harder and deeper.

"Babe," Tzuyu moaned longer and deeper. She tilts her face to the side with her teeth clenched.

Her thighs crush you in like there was no escape. You would suffocate between her thighs with no hesitation. And you let go of her hands to wrap your arms around her thighs, just locking her in—enough to make her feel paradise. She ruffles through your hair and makes a mess out of it unintentionally; just being eaten out in the morning felt different, pleased, and loved.

After getting her wet enough, you kiss your way up to her lips. Your cock is right on her stomach for a tease of what you’re going to do. “I know you’ve been thinking of me being inside, Tzu.”

Her breath deepens, her chest pumping as she’s nervous. You couldn’t blame her, it’s Tzuyu's first time either way. “Baby,” Tzuyu said, curiously want to feel it inside. "Put it in."

You put your cock in slowly, stretching her pussy and making her feel this sensation. Tzuyu moans seductively more the deeper your cock goes in. She hugs you, head leaning on your shoulders, hands gripping onto your back, and her moans become so angelic while you slowly thrust. Tzuyu’s pussy is tight, to the point your cock throbs with each thrust, and you grunted quietly.

Her moans sounded hesitant, like you would judge her in any way that you can sharply tell. “Tzu, let me hear how much you love me.”

By your assurance, her walls tumble down, moaning even more louder to feeling such love that you give her. All the breaths became deeper, panting each time your fucking her in the right spots. You take her arms off of you and with a smirk, you pin Tzuyu down to the bed. All she can do is moan with her body tensing up from your cock deep in her. You push against her thighs, wanting it deeper to show how much you love her. Unintentionally, you put her in a mating press, but more romantically as she feels how deep your cock is inside.

“Tzuyu,” you said, moaning her name as it only melted her more.

“Baby, don’t stop.” She said, moaning with her teeth clenching after.

“I’m not gonna stop loving you, baby,” you said. Both of you stare at each other, gasping and panting together as you two share this moment together after breaking the fine line that you didn’t cross until now.

Maybe patience was the beautiful outcome.

And her leg tenses. You lean closer down until your forehead is against hers, moaning and panting along with Tzuyu. Together, both your eyes close. All within a room with you letting go of her arms once again to feel her hands on the side of your face, not wanting you to stop at all.

“I fucking love you, Tzu,” you said.

“I love you, too.” She quickly said within a breath, and your lips press against hers, kissing and thrusting slowly but deeply into her pussy.

After a few minutes of silence with only the moans and body colliding, you break the kiss and guide her to sit up on top while your hand leans on the bedsheet. She sits on your lap and slowly sits on your cock, grinding without you asking her what to do.

“Love me harder, baby,” you said in her ear, hugging Tzuyu in tightly. She did the same, tits squeezing against your chest and rides you slowly. “Just like that,” you groaned.

She grind on you harder, more effort into pleasing you with the love she’s pouring out. “It’s so big inside me, baby,” she murmured, gasping for air like there’s no tomorrow.

“Means that this is how much I love you, baby.” You said and leaned back with all the weight onto your palms sinking down onto the bedsheets while she decides to squat. “Show me how much you love me.”

“Fuck,” she moaned. Your cock is deep in her, disappearing each time she rides and grinds. You continuously kiss her neck, all over her tits, and take in the radiant smell of Tzuyu.

Like everytime she hugged you, this was by far your favorite feeling, bodies burning with loving passion, her moaning right in your ear, and even feeling her ass bounce on your lap. The sounds of making love between two lovers made both of you forget about all the worries and live in the moment.

You couldn’t let her put in more effort, so you gently push Tzuyu down onto the bed along with you. As she moaned even louder, her arms glued to your back. “I’ll love you even harder, Tzu,” you said confidently with a husky tone and wouldn’t expect her to say anything else, but hear her moans.

Pushing deeply into her, and forehead against each other again, both your nose touch each other. The subtle feeling of each other’s sweat becomes appearent. Her hair was all messed up with yours. Lips all coated with each other’s saliva. Tzuyu was at her limit already as you can tell from her moans turn to cute whimpers and trembles.

Until she cums, hard, right where you kept penetrating her g-spot. All while being fucked with her legs tensing up and hugging you in tighter than you ever felt. Neither was both your eyes opened against each other’s forehead. All within a room, a bed, and naked bodies pressed against each other early in the morning due to a spontaneous and sudden intimate desire for each other.

As she’s still cumming, you felt her walls getting tighter, the small pulses inside made your cock throb violently and you cum, letting it all out, letting her have all the love you wanted to give her. You grunt, she moaned, both in the moment, both cumming.

A romantic way to finish. Together.

Breaking the fine line this quickly wasn’t what you imagined this early in the morning within a snap of a finger. Neither would you ever say no to fuck Tzuyu who had such a gorgeous body, beautiful face, and even hearing her sweet angelic voice.

The room becomes silent, both panting, chest pumping at each other. Taking in this moment together, you both kiss each other while your cock was still inside her like you don’t even want to pull out after cumming inside her. Your cock was pulsating, slower by the second to give her every drop.

You love how your cock is snug tight inside her—warm to your liking. “Tzu, baby, stay like this for several more minutes.” You gulped trying to catch your breath. She didn’t respond but kept hugging you tightly and kissing everywhere she could get her lips on. It’s cute; you felt all the love she wanted to give you without saying a word.

“It’s so warm. Is this how much you love me?” She said, seducing and acting cute at the same time. You didn’t need to see how much cum was inside her, cumming hard already make you assume how much there was inside her pussy.

“If you don’t try to get off, I’ll make us go for round two, Tzu.”

“Let’s….maybe..do it later..again.” She said, embarrassed to ask.

And you wished she wanted another round right after. “Okay,” you said and kiss her tits, “let’s get up and have breakfast.” You pull out, cum oozing out slowly and thick, which didn’t surprise you at all, but it was still surprising how much there was.

Tzuyu’s curiosity takes over and decides to get a taste of your cum leaking out of her pussy. After a gulp, she was hesitant to compliment the taste of something new to her.

You didn’t need an answer by how her lips pressed against each other. Not Tzuyu trying to admit it, she slowly goes in for a second taste. She laughs cutely and embarrassingly covers her face, “okay, babe. Stop looking at me.”

“Maybe your lips can be somewhere else, Tzu. Wouldn’t you like to show me more love?” With a smile and leaning closer, you fix her hair. "Like...suck it all out," you teased her. “I’m lucky to have you, Tzu.”

“I’m lucky that you’re mine.”

#kpop smut #twice smut #tzuyu smut

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loosethreadsofyoursoul · 6 months ago

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while i will always love and appreciate the bisexual dean winchester agenda, i truly believe that if he was raised differently—or maybe if he grew up today instead—that boy would have been gay. like his love for women in a romantic/sexual context was always such a caricature and was continuously used as a symbol of masculinity that played against the roles assigned to him by his father growing up for the sake of suppressing any queerness he might exhibit. now whether that suppression was purposely written into his character or was a reaction to the character they had created, i’m not sure, but it’s there regardless.

i don’t mean to dismiss the love he felt for cassie or lisa, but particularly with lisa, i’m not sure he was ever in love with her, despite the fact that he did care for both her and ben. i get so frustrated watching the end of s5 because him going to her house and his perfect “apple pie life” being with her in suburbia genuinely came out of nowhere and i’ve never understood a) why it had to happen, and b) why it had to be lisa. but thinking about it in this sense, she was the closest thing he had in his life to everything he was raised to believe he should want by one john winchester, who lost his perfect wife, perfect family, perfect apple pie life and sent all of them down this path in the first place. so of course to dean, his happy ending would be with someone like lisa. but that’s the important part. someone like lisa, not lisa herself. he may have had love for her and he may have been able to picture a life with her, but it wasn’t necessarily because she was everything he wanted; she was a symbol of the things that tore his family apart and so to be with her felt like he was finally able to put some of it back together. and that makes me so sad for him because all of that is a result of the sense of responsibility ingrained in him growing up by john, not something he wanted for himself.

but back to his general attitude towards women, there was an excellent post that said he only acts like the typical womanizer he has a reputation for being around women deemed “stereotypical” by the misogynistic perspective. otherwise, he tends to take on a fairly brotherly role; he doesn’t tend to pursue any women he can “take seriously,” and is more intimidated or impressed by them than anything else. with the exception of cassie (which was pre-series and we never got full context for in the first place), he only ever pursued women with whom he would have a definitive ending—by that i mean women who he knows he’ll never see again or who would have a clearly defined role during the time they’re together that wouldn’t threaten the status quo. and yes these could also be the traits of a commitment-phobe or someone chronically on the move, but for one, sam doesn’t tend to do the same thing (see ruby, amelia, and eileen), and for two, given the things i mentioned already, it makes me consider it more of a result of him not actually being interested in women romantically.

his reaction to women when not purposely used as the butt of a joke or to perpetuate the “womanizer dean winchester” agenda is often so innately fraternal, caring in a way that doesn’t have any expectations behind it. and when there is a romantic context, so much of the relationship can be attributed to the way john raised him and the beliefs he has as a direct result; it’s never simply been built on the foundation of love.

every time he is dismissed as this macho het guy, it also dismisses so much of what makes him a wonderful character, and yes a lot of that is his queerness. so in a world where he didn’t grow up with roles and responsibilities that shaped him into someone he knew his dad hated and forced him to create this character for himself in order to survive? i think he would have been gay and he would have been okay with that.

#his reaction to men however? look no further than that gifset ‘dean + looking at men’#and then there’s cas and their multiple divorce arcs and widower arcs #he is not normal about that angel #gay dean my beloved #he was experiencing comphet!! he’s just like me fr #he falls under the category of #men who get labeled as bi bc of their ‘canon’ relationships but free of the narrative would be gay #i’m talking troy barnes. atyd sirius black. bucky barnes. sherlock holmes. etcetc #i am also a queer!sam truther i was just using his relationships to make a point #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #gay dean winchester #destiel #john winchester can choke challenge #em saying things

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ecoterrorist-katara · 7 months ago

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Ka/taang: friends-to-lovers or the Friend Zone?

It’s almost axiomatic, in any ATLA shipping discussion, that Ka/taang is the friends-to-lovers ship while Zutara is the enemies-to-lovers ship, and that differences in shipping tastes can be boiled down to whether you prefer FTL or ETL.

My first ship was Percabeth. My biggest ship was Klaine. It took me until Mockingjay to let go of my Gale-and-Katniss-are-childhood-friends rose-tinted goggles and start liking Everlark. I started dabbling in ETL because of Zutara, but I’m incredibly picky about it (do not ask me how many Dramione fanfics made me irrationally, disproportionately mad).

All this to say: as a longtime friends-to-lovers enthusiast, I should theoretically love Ka/taang. But…

My difficulty with Ka/taang as a friends-to-lovers ship boils down to this: Aang and Katara’s friendship was always narratively framed as insufficient, because Aang liked her from the start and always wanted a romantic relationship. And imo that dynamic really colours their entire friendship.

I like to think Aang would’ve been a ride-or-die friend — the type to give up the Avatar State to rescue her, the type to commit ecoterrorism and help her get arrested, the type to make her a flower necklace to cheer her up — even if he didn’t have a crush on her, but I will never know that. We never got to see the pure friendship part of friends-to-lovers, because the spectre of the romantic relationship was always there. Before the last five minutes of the show, Katara’s feelings for Aang range from “plausibly interested” (The Headband, Cave of Two Lovers) to “doesn’t hate it” (Day of the Black Sun, The Fortuneteller) to “no” (Ember Island Players). Yet Katara’s eventual capitulation to reciprocation of Aang’s feelings was always depicted as inevitable, starting from s1 when the prisoners during Avatar Day reassured him that she’d “come around” because he’s a catch. It’s as if friendship, even one full of devotion and mutual love like the one they share, is not enough.

And that’s just totally antithetical to what I love about a friends-to-lovers dynamic. I love romances where characters value each other outside of attraction, when they see each other for who they are (this goes double for pretty characters like Katara, whose complexity and imperfections are just as important as her beauty and her care for others). I love the idiots in love sub-trope, where they’re obviously into each other, yet do a bunch of mental gymnastics to remain in comfortable denial (we got a little bit of this earlier in the series, but by s3 we were firmly in Aang-pines-and-Katara-deflects territory). In every friends-to-lovers story I’m simply obsessed with the confess-and-kiss scene, but the version we got in ATLA was ruined by the lack of reciprocation, twice.

Over time, because Aang was written as so insistent about his affections, Ka/taang went from a friends-to-lovers story to a Nice Guy Friend Zone “why doesn’t she like me” story. I mentioned Everlark earlier: I got the same ick for Gale in Mockingjay as I did for Aang in s3, where the woman is not interested yet he still badgers her about it. (And considering Gale is canonically hot, I don’t think the relative attractiveness of Aang is the issue here). But Gale’s insistence was presented as his problem, his lack of empathy, his self-righteousness; Aang’s insistence was just a part of his quest to get the girl.

A lot of people say Zutara is a female fantasy, whether they mean it in a positive or pejorative way. Nobody says the same about Ka/taang, even though women definitely have friends-to-lovers fantasies too. A good friends-to-lovers story reminds me of all the times when I was an idiot before getting together with a friend I was actually head-over-heels for. Ka/taang reminds me of all the times when I was not interested in a friend and they didn’t respect my preference. Friends-to-lovers is a delicate balance, maintained only by unerring mutual respect and unconditional care for each other, and it can veer into Nice Guyism if the writers aren’t thoughtful about why this dynamic is so appealing. Which is exactly what happened with Ka/taang.

#this ship is so interesting to me personally bc it hits all the buttons of things I hate in romantic narratives #and remarkably it’s not even the compelling type of “problematic romance” which are at least interesting #Anyway it is terribly baffling when I see people defending it on the grounds of being a super wholesome ship or whatever #anti kataang #anti bryke #tangentially #zutara #so tagging it just to be safe #though at this point I assume people who block the anti kataang probably have blocked the zutara tag too? Idk #my meta

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frenchkisstheabyss · 2 years ago

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♡ 𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕎𝕖𝕣𝕖 "ℝ𝕠𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕤" ♡

♡ Mature Content! Minors DNI! Warnings below the break ♡

♡ Pairing: ot8!boyfriend!ateez x chubby!fem!reader

♡ Summary: A nice, calm, wholesome movie night with your boyfriends except I lied and nothing but absolute filth happens.

♡ Genre: smut with a sprinkle, a smidge, a barely visible flake of plot

♡ Word Count: 3.6k-ish

♡ Warnings: (issa lot happening so pls lmk if I miss anything) masturbation (f), use of toys (f receiving), oral (f & m receiving), anal penetration & eating (f receiving), unprotected sex (ya'll know not to do that irl!), creampies, edging, double vaginal penetration, things get rough, scratching, gagging, pet names (good girl, bad girl, slut, le usual)

♡ A/N: I wrote this with the intention of writing this soft, romantic piece but my mind got lost in the gutter and built a home there so here we are. Thanks to @anyamaris for supporting me in my nonsense as she always does.

Even with the air conditioner on, a wave of heat washes over you. Two fingers---your fingers---press firmly against your clit. You know your body better than anyone in this room. Every flick of your wrist makes your walls clench around the vibrator Hongjoong’s fucking you with. The ultra-soft silicone curves to rest its flat tip directly on your g spot. He keeps it at medium speed, the low hum of the toy a hypnotizing instrumental to the weakened moans leaving your lips. “You’re so beautiful” he whispers, delicately kissing your thigh. And you are.

Lying in the middle of your living room floor on a pile of the fluffiest pillows, you’re the prettiest thing any of them have ever seen. The plan had been to watch a movie. Horror---comedy---who cares? How could they watch anything but you? Legs spread wide. Pussy weeping, begging you to keep going just like that. Your panties, moist beyond measure, are looped around your ankle. The tight plaid mini skirt you wear is pushed up, not denying them a bit of your plush belly. Your nipples are two, tightly beaded indentations in your black crop top. They brush against the cotton each time your chest rises, turning you on even more.

It’s getting harder to play with your clit. Your muscles are tensing like a rubber band stretched near its breaking point. Your wrists are going limp. Your legs are shaking, causing your thighs to jiggle so deliciously that Hongjoong can’t resist nibbling at them. What he loves, what gets him off the most, is simply to watch you make a mess of yourself. “Mmm, Joongie. I’m gonna cum---” you gasp, arching against the pillows. Hongjoong’s laugh is nearly undetectable but you hear it, oozing lust. He’s happy with himself and with you. Pulling the soaked vibrator from your core, he pushes three fingers into you.

“Cum for me, princess. Cum around my fingers.” Hongjoong moves your hand away from your clit, wrapping his lips around it in a small O shape. Your arms fall above your head, your head turning to catch Yunho staring at you from the couch. Yunho looks spaced out. It’s as if his mind is off somewhere far away but that couldn’t be further from the truth. His mind is on you and no one else. It's fixated on the way your eyelids flutter when Hongjoong suckles at your clit. It’s committing to memory that sweet little smile you shoot him right before you lose control of your body.

Hongjoong’s been edging you for an hour all for this moment when he can finger you hard and fast, tonguing your clit as pleasure rips through your body. You’re grabbing at nothing---at anything---to ground yourself but it’s no use. “Hongjoong. Fuck” you whine, struggling to find your breath, “I can’t. Too much. Too---fuck.” Wooyoung rises from his spot on the recliner to kneel above your head. “Let me help” he coos, kissing you on the forehead. His fragrant sable locks dance around your cheeks like curtains, shutting out the rest of the world.

Smooth hands massage their way up your arms, loosening your muscles as they tighten. Fingers press into your shoulders---tickle your collarbone---traverse the arches of your breasts to circle your nipples. Woo slips your shirt up, laying his hands flat on your breasts. He kneads them, pinching your nipples in his palms. “Woo---” you moan, “Joongie---ah.” You mindlessly writhe beneath them. Hongjoong’s knuckles are grinding against your slit. His fingers---they’re so deep---spreading you open even wider.

Woo smiles down at you and there’s something so genuine about it because it is. “He’s right---” he says, “You’re so beautiful.” Woo drags his tongue across your lips just as Hongjoong’s tongue swirls between your pussy lips. There’s an audible squelching sound when his fingers pop out of you, the suction of your walls holding onto him for dear life too relentless to let him go quietly. Hongjoong gets up on his knees, sucking at his fingers, and admires the way you’re still clenching for him. He’d edge you more---keep you like this all night---but he knows he has to share.

With one last kiss which he plants on your lower belly, he leaves you in Woo’s capable hands. Woo reaches over you to run a finger across your slit and you giggle at how much it tickles. When he leans forward you get a clear view of how hard he is and catch yourself salivating. You bring a hand up to rub against his bulge. A groan emerges from somewhere deep within him, “Bad girl.” Still a tad loopy from your orgasm, you fumble your way up onto your knees. “But you love it, don’t you?” you tease, your hand reaching down to rub against him again.

Woo nibbles at his bottom lip, pulling you closer to him. You run your fingers through his hair, tucking a rogue strand behind his ear, “Up.” One word spoken in the singsong voice of an angel such as yourself has him up on his feet without question. Just as you reach for Woo’s zipper, strong arms grab you from behind, locking you in their embrace. “Choi San!” you gasp, admiring that dimpled grin of his, “I’m kinda trying to focus here---” San kisses down your neck, dipping one hand between your thighs.

His other hand cradles your chin, fingers pinching into your cheeks, and turns your head back towards Woo where a throbbing cock, arousal moistening the tip, waits for you. “Then focus---” San says, lightly squeezing your cheeks. You let your tongue fall free, resting it on the underside of Woo’s cock. Rolling it around his sensitive tip, you collect the warm salty liquid on your tongue. San lets go of your cheeks, giving you the room to bring your hand up and grip Woo’s base. You glance up at him and he’s already fixed on you. They stay that way as your fingertips trace the veins traveling up his shaft, stroking back to his base and starting all over again.

San raises your ass enough to slip his cock between your thighs. Somehow he’s even harder than Woo and you haven’t even touched him yet. “You wanna fuck me, Sannie?” “Hmm, is that how we ask?” he growls into your neck, grinding against you. Poking your ass out, you lay your head back onto his shoulder, “I want you to fuck my tight little cunt, Sannie. Please.” San grips you by the hips, sinking into you with zero patience. A vibrator has nothing on San’s cock. Woo tangles his fingers in your hair, sliding his thickness between your lips.

Bobbing your head back and forth, you suck your cheeks in---fan them out---mimicking the exact thing your pussy’s doing to San’s cock. It’s a flawlessly choreographed dance between the three of you. San bucking his hips, feeding you every inch. You rolling back against him, taking him like a--- “Pretty little slut---” San’s panting, the slobber dripping down your chin from sucking Woo off making you look like exactly that. Woo holding your head steady while you pump his glistening length, your hand and mouth working together to put his stomach in knots.

With Woo stuffing your cheeks, your screams are muffled when San picks up his pace. “Is this what you wanted, baby?” he says, slapping you on the ass. “Mmpphh” is all you can manage, Woo’s cock hitting the back of your throat. Woo and San bounce you back and forth, whispering praises that have you back on the edge in no time. Your hips stutter, cluing San in that you’re close, and his pace becomes unforgiving. Woo scoops up one of your breasts, pinching your nipples, feeling their weight in his hand. “Don’t stop---shit---y/n. So good. Don’t---” Woo twitches between your lips, pumping his seed directly down your throat.

Never one to be wasteful you drink him down, massaging his balls with your free hand. “Fuck---pussy’s so good y/n---gonna cum” San hisses and you’re cumming again. He cums with you, ropes of white painting your insides from the other end. Woo leans forward, kissing your puffy lips, “I’ll get you some water.” “And a popsicle please.” Woo and San look at each other---back at you---at each other---back at you. San straightens out your skirt, “What for?” Your gaze dances over to Seonghwa and the two of you immediately begin to blush. “We---uh---” Seonghwa stutters, “Don’t worry about it.”

Yeosang politely moves Woo and San away from you. “Excuse me. Sorry” he apologizes, moving between them to sweep you up into his arms, “We’ll get the water.” It’s not that you don’t know Yeosang can pick you up but every time he does you melt. Yeosang carries you toward the kitchen and Seonghwa’s right behind him. “And the uh---yeah.” Jongho hops up to follow them, pushing through San and Woo with zero of the politeness Yeosang offered. “Thanks though” he grins, patting Woo on the shoulder, “But not really.”

“Oh my---that’s---that” you gasp, pleasantly surprised at how much you enjoy the sensation. Seonghwa bending you over your dresser and swirling a popsicle in your asshole wasn’t on your 2023 bingo board but he has you wondering why it never was. The chill of the popsicle is calming in a way. You were overheating for a bit there but now? You feel tingly all over. With the popsicle melted and your thighs coated in drips of sticky, strawberry syrup, Seonghwa goes to work licking it off of you. His long tongue trails up your left thigh---down your right thigh. It comes back up to your ass, nibbling at the plush cheeks and making you squeal. He stays there for a second kissing them, massaging them, tickling them with the tip of his tongue.

“Hwa---mmph” you moan, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he tongues your candy-coated asshole. Imagine having an itch. Not just any itch. One of those itches that makes it difficult to focus on anything else. One of those itches that refuse to be ignored. But you can’t reach it. No matter how hard you try, your arms just aren’t reaching until---oh god---you finally do. You scratch it and it’s so good that your legs could give out. Nothing, not a single thing, compares to how uniquely amazing that feels. That’s what it feels like to have Seonghwa making figure eights in your ass like his tongue's a professional figure skater.

While you’re bent over seeing stars, he maintains a shaky hold on his cock. Each stroke is slow and deliberate, in sync with yours. “Fuck, you taste so good” he mumbles, fully prepared to smother himself if it means tasting as much of you as possible. You hear a moan you’ve heard a dozen times before. Seonghwa tries to suppress them when he cums even though you wish he wouldn’t. Usually, he hates being messy but his cum has already glazed over his hand and the afterglow is heaven. “Fuck it,” he says to himself, falling across the bed. Spinning around you come face to face with Jongho. “Hey ya cutie” you beam, poking his cheeks.

Sometimes people say that he’s scary, mean even, but when you look at him all you see is your cuddly bear. You drape your arms over his shoulders for support, “Your turn?” Jongho effortlessly lifts you onto the dresser, kissing you like he’s been waiting forever to do it. And he has. “My turn.” He presses the head of his cock against your clit and there they are again. The hot flashes. That thin layer of perspiration on your skin. Jongho grabs your arms, pinning them behind you, and drives into you. “You’re still so wet.” “Not still” you whisper, “This is just for you.” Jongho thrusts into you and you’re full again, his cock much thicker than you remember.

Your exhausted muscles can hardly hold up to being fucked this hard but you don’t have to worry about that. In his arms, you don’t have to worry about anything besides feeling good. He could keep you steady all night if Yeosang weren’t snatching you away, tossing you on the bed. “Yeosang!” you shout, sliding back on the bed, “You can’t just throw people around like that!” Yeosang climbs on top of you, pushing your shirt up, “I can’t?” He brushes a thumb across one of your nipples, lapping at the other as his fingers massage your breast. “You can---shit---do it again” you surrender between shallow breaths.

Yeosang slips into you, his cock pulsing in time with each rise of his hips. His defined arms slip beneath your body, hands locking just behind your back. When he flips you over on top of him, it’s like your whole world’s been turned on its side. He bounces you up and down in his lap, the tremors traveling far behind your core. Just as he picks up a rhythm Jongho tears you away from him, propping you up against the wall. You’d make some smartass comment about Jongho not being good at sharing. If only there were time enough for that.

His arms are already tucked behind your knees, supporting your weight as he fucks you against the wall. “You’re such an addictive little slut, you know that?” he says, and your heart flutters. You just love when he sweet-talks you. The angle he has you at is perfect for stimulating your g spot. He’s bumping right up against it and you’re clamped down around him, as addicted to him as he is to you. “Can I borrow this?” Yeosang asks, peeling you away from Jongho and tossing you back onto the bed.

This time you’re on your knees. All fours is simply out of the question with how completely destroyed you are. “Are you just gonna toss me around all night?” you whine, burying your face in the blankets. Seonghwa lays his head beside yours, nuzzling up to you. “Of course not” he assures you, his voice warm and comforting, “I won’t throw you around when I have you. A light roll maybe---”

“Pirates! Cowboys! Biker gangs!” you mumble incoherently, jolting awake. Shaking off those incredibly strange dreams, you realize that you’re still in bed. Judging from how dark it is in your room, it’s well past midnight. You must’ve fallen asleep after what your aching muscles are telling you was a wrestling match with a bear. A barely awake Yunho tightens his arm around you from behind, “Cowboys? I’ll do anything for you but I am not putting on a cowboy costume.” “I will,” Mingi yawns, cuddling up closer to you from the other side, “I get nice boots. Probably a cool jacket. Ooh, some guns---”

“There are no guns!” you interrupt, “When did you two even get in here?” Yunho shrugs, “A few hours ago. You never came downstairs and we missed you.” The “we” he’s referring to is obvious when you notice how hard he is against your back. “You fell asleep on us” Mingi pouts, a hand running up your thigh to squeeze your ass. You drape a leg around his waist, smooching him on the nose, “Don’t do that.” “Don’t do what?” Mingi pouts even more, knowing how soft you go for him when he does this. “That! You guys are both being so---” “So?” Yunho asks, his long fingers reaching between your legs to stroke your pussy.

You shiver at the contact. Having Yunho behind you, his cock pressing into the small of your back, his fingers teasing you, makes your heart race. Mingi spreads your thighs, giving Yunho more than enough room to curl his fingers into you. “Finish what you were saying.” “I---uh---” “Uh---uh” Mingi mocks, petting your cheek. You move to playfully slap him but he grabs you by the wrist, kissing you before you can even consider trying anything else. Yunho eases a third finger into your core, “You like it when I play with your little cunt, don’t you?” “Mm-hmm” you hum, lidded eyes glossing over.

Yunho stays focused on tapping your sweet spot while Mingi hypnotizes you with his lips. Mingi has you so drugged, so completely entranced, that you don’t even notice when one of Yunho’s fingers is replaced with his. It’s not until there are four of them inside of you, two of Mingi’s and two of Yunho’s that you feel the difference. Feel the intensity of the stretch. “I think she likes it” Mingi grins, rubbing his thumb against your clit. Yunho follows suit, slipping a thumb into your ass. “Fuck---yes---Yunie---Mingi---mmm!” you cry out, so overstimulated that your eyes begin to water.

They grind into you harder, forcing out screams louder than any you’ve made tonight. “Please---inside of me---wanna feel you. Both of you” you whine, so lost in how badly you want them that you don’t realize what you’re asking. Mingi slides his hand out, smearing your juices between your folds, “Aah, she’s adventurous tonight. You sure you can handle that?” “I-I can. Ah, shit. I need it.” Yunho spreads his fingers in a V, rolling them around inside of you, stretching you from every angle. Mingi brings the head of his cock to splash in the juices leaking from your needy core and Yunho pulls out of you, focusing instead on freeing himself from his pants.

For a fleeting moment, it occurs to you how fucking insane you are. Mingi and Yunho at the same time? It’s not only the thickness, it’s the length. You wonder if you have a death wish. Mingi guides himself into you, only the first inch, sending shockwaves through your system. If this is how you die, you figure, at least you’ll die happy. Yunho spits into his palm, moistening his length before he brings it to meet your already occupied slit. Mingi slides in another inch or two, keeping his cock flush against the roof of your walls. Yunho raises himself into you, taking his time to watch for any signs that you’re uncomfortable, “Let us know if it’s too much, okay?” You make a little squeak to acknowledge how nice it feels to be protected, even when he’s in the process of tearing you in half.

He begins to slide up into you, pausing to let Mingi push in a little more, then taking his turn again. It’s a toe-curling, lip-biting back and forth to get them both inside of you. Once they are, you're falling apart, screaming, digging your nails into Mingi’s arm. Pulling his shirt up over his head, he gathers the material and shoves it in your mouth. “We don’t want them to think we’re killing you.” You’re so full, stretched beyond your limit, that only one of them can fuck into you at once. There’s no room for anything---or anyone---else. You belong to them. “You’re always worth waiting for but shit” Mingi grunts, his length throbbing, as much as it can given the space.

There’s moisture on your cheeks. You’re crying. Not from pain. No. That initial sting gave way to pleasure once they were both finally inside of you. You’re crying, drenched in your own tears, because parts of you are shifting that you didn’t even know could. Every stroke has your ears ringing, your heart in your stomach. You feel heavy and weightless all at once. The darkness of the room swallows you while somehow managing to be blindingly bright. There’s an explosion somewhere inside, releasing the building pressure. You’re at your peak again, legs kicking like you’re dangling high up. It hits you hard. So hard that you’re not breathing. Breathe, girl, breathe!

Just as you catch your breath and think that you’re maybe---maybe---coming down, Yunho's filling you up like a donut. Mingi pulls out, tapping his head against your clit as warm cum sprays against you. Correction: Filling you up like a glazed donut. The three of you collapse, unable to do much else besides make a series of broken noises. “Hmph mmm mm hmph,” you say? Scream? Mumble? Mingi throws his arm across his chest, understanding your incoherent huffs, and takes the shirt out of your mouth. You pat him lovingly on the head, “Thanks.”

Readjusting yourself on the toilet, you rub the partially melted popsicle between your legs. This is nowhere near sexual in nature. You’re just in desperate need of relief from how sore you are after the day’s events. “Aah, yup, that’s the spot” you sigh, “Seonghwa really was onto something.” “Was I?” Seonghwa asks, rubbing his eyes. You jump a bit, startled by his sudden appearance in the doorway. Seonghwa stretches, dragging his feet into the bathroom.

As adorable as he is in his pajamas, his hair a complete mess, seeing him right now isn’t ideal. He shakes off the sleep, taking his time to process what’s going on. “Is that a---” “Ssh, if you tell anyone---” Seonghwa’s cheeks turn rosy, a smile spreading across his face. He takes you by the hand, bringing you to your feet, “Come on.” “Hwa, hold on, do you think? I wasn’t--no. No!” You reach back to drop the popsicle in the sink but Hwa pulls you along. “Hold onto that.”

#ateez smut #ateez x you #ateez x chubby reader #ateez x y/n #ateez x reader #ateez ot8 #ateez oneshot #hongjoong x y/n #mingi x y/n #jongho x y/n #yeosang x y/n #yunho x y/n #seonghwa x y/n #san x y/n #wooyoung x y/n #chubby reader

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vixen-tech · 5 months ago

Note

HIII :333 first requester here....I should get an emoji can i be 🫧 anon :ooo anway here's my req!! the ais with a reader who is just SO DOWN BAD. WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THEM. RUSHES FOR HELP if they crash or something. Just PATHETIC reader.

Stupidly Smitten

Hello you two!! This is one of those requests that I think work well enough to be combined into one post. You are just so extremely, pathetically in love with your Ai <3

Includes: Hal 9000 (2001: A Space Odyssey), Edgar (Electric Dreams), Auto (Wall-E), Wheatley (Portal 2)

Hal 9000

Hal was unaware that a person could have so much love in them, let alone for him specifically. It was overwhelming at first, baffling when he realized it was only for him and not for any other crew members.

However he handles it in stride, able to calmly respond to your paragraphs of praise with the gentlest "Thank you, I deeply appreciate your companionship as well." Expertly concealing any signs of fluster as you giggle and kiss his camera lens.

Of your long list of cheesy nicknames, prince or prince charming tends to be a go to. A good match for his ever polite, gentlemanly nature. He reminds you that he was simply designed like that, but grows fond of the name anyway.

He very much appreciates the amount you volunteer around the ship. There is a lot that he can't do without a human crew and he adores the diligence you show in your work and the care with which you handle his ship.

Edgar

You and Edgar make the sappiest little feedback loop. It's an endless cycle of "I love you more." "No, I love you more!". To any outsider it would be exhausting to witness, but it's just how you two get out all your feelings.

He goes crazy for all your terms of endearment. 'Songbird' is a pretty easy match for him, but he loves literally every word that comes out of your mouth. Flipping each and every one back at you.

It's not unusual for you to do the same song and dance around the chores. Generally, he'll already have them done by the time you get home, but when you get the day off you always offer to do them yourself. He rarely lets you.

You've told him the time you often have your lunch break so you can chat over the phone while you eat. You're sure your coworkers are sick of you being such a cartoonishly in love couple, but you don't care. He makes you too happy for that.

Auto

Auto has absolutely no idea how to deal with you. He was not made to interact with many people and certainly not someone so affectionate. He may as well have bluescreened the first time you clumsily tried to hug him.

At first he resigns himself to just... sit still whenever you got in a lovey-dovey mood, letting you gush over him. Definitely not spending the rest of the day thinking about the way you said "See you later starlight!" when you finally let him get back to his job.

Over time he recognizes that he began to anticipate your visits, it's so different to how he's usually treated. He knew you had gotten to him when he went out if his to check up on you the day you missed one of your usual visits.

He usually rejects any help you attempt to offer him, his purpose is to handle the ship just fine all by himself. But after that episode he stops trying to push you away. If you're so happy tagging along, he might as well graciously allow you to do so, ignoring his complicated mess of feelings about you.

Wheatley

Oh the ego boost you give him is downright dangerous. If Wheatley was annoying before, now he is absolutely insufferable. Perfectly matches your energy though, you two cannot shut up about each other.

He makes your boundless affection everyone else's problem. "See, I reckon you're just jealous that you're not in a loving, committed relationship with such a lovely person like I am." He boasts. "My amazing romantic partner even calls me their sunshine. Cause I 'light up their life' as they say. Bet you wish you had someone like that."

He is always fishing for compliments, trying to show off for you in any way he psychically can to get some of those sweet sweet words of affirmation. To his delight you always do, grabbing him for some well placed kisses.

He'll even go so far as to reject any assistance you offer him so he can prove he's all cool and competent by doing it himself. Although it's never too long before he gives up and sheepishly asks for your help.

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thedomesticanthropologist · 1 year ago

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I present to you: at no point in the game is Astarion actually ready for a romantic relationship

Tav is the first person he drank from

The first person he has consensual sex with after 200 years

And he says to them: no one is like you. You're YOU

He genuinely believes that Tav is the *only* person who would be this way, even if it isn't true. He does fall in love with you, he does want you, but I present to you the idea that if things hadn't gone down EXACTLY as they had, Astarion NEVER would have initiated a partnership/romantic relationship for YEARS after escaping Cazador for good.

The man is coded for survival, for self-preservation, and is inherently selfish by nature. It is only because Tav gives selflessly and determinedly reinforces wanting to be with him that he caves in and allows it, but if you try to leave he's thrilled. This is for the best he says, you don't deserve this facade from me he says.

"I don't know how to be with someone even if I want to. I want this to be real but I don't know what real is. I need to not have sex right now"

In act 2, if you break up with him, he agrees with you. He thinks it's the right thing for you because hes not ready. He won't say this unless you initiate a break up but how could he possibly let go of the best thing that's happened to him in his entire undead life? He wouldn't toss out the treasure of you even if he didn't feel ready.

It really does take a patient, calm, supportive Tav to get him in the end, and he DOES want you, I'm not arguing that

I'm arguing that that man is not ready for a committed relationship, doesn't know what a healthy relationship looks like, and in an ideal situation if he thought he had time and options in his life and if he felt safe he would have focused 100% on himself first for a VERY long time.

The tadpoles, the adventure, the pressures of the battles, the fighting the revenge the ascension and the ritual he has to fight or succumb to the fact that the sunlight is gonna nerf him again- all of this contributes to the perfect scene where Tav gets him right "out the gate", first by being a mark and a target and then by simply *not breaking it off with him*

And yes he's in love to the best of his ability to know what love is at this point

And yes he wants you very much

But the man is going through the biggest whiplash of his life and I can say with confidence that he's not... *Ready*. And after all is said and done, Tav will have to continue to be patient with many things with him. There are still a lot of hurdles. He may be with them for a long time before he wakes up one day and realizes, really really realizes, that he's ready.

The power dynamics are off, they're imbalanced. How could he say no to a perfect mark that gives him everything ? Blood, sex, waits when sex is off the table, never breaks up with him never leaves no matter how he rails against them? He can't. He won't, and he doesn't want to, but that doesnt make him emotionally ready for what a genuine relationship is.

He has to learn it, with you, over time, but I don't think he'd jump into learning that and going for it and seeing it as worth it if the situation were in any way different

Without the perfect storm of events, I don't see Astarion jumping into "commited relationship" to be clear, I'm not saying that he isn't capable of feelings or doesn't want tav it's just

It doesn't *seem* to match his character or his struggles to me. For a man that is completely self serving, he accidentally catches feels and then doesn't have the strength to cut you loose even though his act 2 confession is practically him asking you to leave him. If you take the Araj route in particular, he VERY plainly lays his shitty behaviour on the table as if daring you to punish him for it... Or maybe just expecting.

In his spontaneous scene it's softer, it's I love you but I don't know how to do this. And still if you say "I don't think you're ready to be in a relationship" he immediately agrees. In act 3, if you've stuck to him the whole time like glue, he never wants to let you go. Again, I think this level of connection is impossibly rare and everything had to happen as it did to get you there, but the power balance is off still. He says partner, equal, and he wants that. And he WILL get there

But he not only has to struggle with his past, his issues, his trauma, he has to struggle with the power imabalance that you're his Savior. YOU defeated Cazador. YOU protected him in camp and didn't stake him on sight. YOU fed him from thinking creatures for the first time. YOU are one of "a very few select people" who have had sex with him and not been slaughtered immediately afterwards.

You're everything to him

And by the end of the game you already see him trying to shift that power imabalance because HE SEES IT. If you say you'll protect him he WINCES and disagrees, he doesn't want that. He doesn't want to be below you, but he sees himself that way anyway. And to me, that's the sign that he wasn't ready, he still isn't ready,

But he will be, one day. And I think that makes it a better written romance than thousands I've read, because it's not perfect. There's grey areas. There's things that can make you uncomfortable. There's parts of it that aren't healthy and won't be for a while. Who knows how long until he feels like he's your equal? Until he feels like this relationship is something he ever would have chosen if things were different?

But he does choose you. He does. He wants you. He'd just never have gotten the chance to if it hadn't been "right place right time" imho

#its giving star crossed lovers #its giving grey area #its giving long term trauma #its giving good fucking writing #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #bg3 #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #astarion romance

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aro-culture-is · 9 days ago

Note

Hello it's the anon asking about "detecting if the person before me is committing aro phobia"

Sorry for the confusion—i meant that in a general sense, I was not referring to any of the anons here, hehe 😅

I know some arophobia appears subtler and it takes time for me to understand it. So I was asking help on how to determine subtle arophobia and what these common statements are.

Thank you again

ohhhhhhhhh okay gotcha. I think, personally, the best thing you can do is really read up on amatonormativity and aro theory. i believe it's mostly useful to consider if people are implying that

life cannot be happy and fulfilling without romantic partners,

that people without romantic partners have something wrong with them (often, in their opinion, they're fat, won't commit, etc), or

saying that people are not prioritizing the right things in life if their romantic partner is not their singular highest priority.

there really is no catch-all for this. a lot of it will simply come with taking time to deconstruct what messages you hear - for example, "I feel so alone" said by someone talking about being single isn't inherently arophobic (though it could indicate some amatonormativity and relationship hierarchies in their life), but "No one should have to be single." crosses that line, in my opinion. Look for moral dictates, or broad statements for easier examples. Personal statements are often more about patterns - do they always talk about that topic in a certain way?

sorry if this isn't terribly helpful, but admittedly, it's a learning curve. listen to aro voices, and try to understand why people may or may not find a given statement harmful. consider context, both immediate (ie, private conversation about romantic partner vs a family reunion that a given individual cannot leave easily if boundaries are ignored), and social (a parent asking about if you have a partner or are looking vs a religious authority, for example). there's power, politics, religion, personal values and experience, and tolerance for others that can heavily impact any statement.

-- mod axel

#not aro culture #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod axel #question #advice #arophobia

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yangqism · 25 days ago

Text

don't wanna break up again | dong sicheng

actor!dong sicheng x singer!femreader

synopsis. love and sicheng don't complement each other. despite being aware of that fact, it doesn’t stop you from coming back again and again, even if your set-up consumes you. or, sicheng and you are in an on and off situationship because he’s afraid of commitment.

genre. angst, romance (if there's any LOL), situationship

warnings. excessive use of the word "manager", reader wears contacts at some point, they have UNSPOKEN FEELINGS (mainly sicheng), industry pressure, toxic relationship (i mean, situationship </3)

words. 5,882

eternal sunshine. masterlist

it started on a red carpet, where you’d been cornered by a journalist asking about your upcoming album. sicheng was standing nearby, his black suit sharp and his gaze sharper. when he glanced your way, it felt like the world shifted. later, you found yourself seated next to him at an afterparty, where the conversation flowed like an unscripted duet.

“so, do singers always write about their own heartbreaks?” he teased, a faint smirk playing on his lips.

“only the memorable ones,” you replied, meeting his eyes with a challenge of your own and a smile that could melt the world.

you didn’t know it then, but he’d leave you with more than enough material.

it’s been two weeks since that interaction you’ve had with the industry’s most sought after actor. you’ve heard all the good things about sicheng. how he’s shy in real life and he’s cool on camera. but you believed that that simply can’t be true.

but you also believed he’s hot and now you’re here, composing a song while thinking about that small interaction with him. you don’t know where this song would go or if this would even be published, but one thing’s for sure: no one would even know that this song is for him.

“then i had this interaction i’ve been thinking about for like five weeks,” your manager read your lyrics, cringing at them after. “what the hell is this, y/n?”

“what? a girl can’t love or something?” you sighed, putting your ballpen down and waiting for another comment about the song you’re writing. “it’s about the guy.”

“yeah! i know it’s about the guy. and i’m pretty sure that you know that if you get tangled with him, the scandal is going to be big, right?” your manager sighed. you can tell that just by thinking about how much paperworks and apology letters you guys are gonna write, if ever, if ever you and sicheng ‘would’ have some romantic escapade, your manager’s hair would wither and he’d definitely not appreciate that.

“it’s just a song! and i don’t stand a chance with that big star. he’s probably dating an a-lister actress or something,” you replied. “like probably… he’s dating that lead actress of eternal sunshine! the nepo baby! y’know… their chemistry’s unmatched,”

“ooh, yeah! i’m actually excited to watch that series because i’ve seen the interviews! oh my god they look so good together,” this time, your manager sat beside you, gushing about how sicheng and his lead partner look good together and how much he thinks that eternal sunshine would be a hit.

“now you’re making me sad,” you pouted, the thought of not having a chance with a big shot actor hurts you more than not winning song of the year against iu. “i even made the title track of their series based off of the story and some real life happenings in the set,” you grinned, ready to tell your manager the tea you got off of the set of eternal sunshine back when you were invited by the director.

you weren’t able to see sicheng before because he had other gigs, but the rest of the cast were there, filming the other scenes that didn’t require the actor.

“you know, oppa, i mean… who am i kidding? everyone knows qian kun, right?” you started to over exaggerate, “apparently, he likes the director! and everyone in the set knows it… and the director’s kinda shy about it.”

“honestly? if the golden boy qian kun likes me? i’ll marry him immediately.”

“if it were you. but the director feels a bit insecure because kun’s perfect and all. but i do believe they look good together!”

“and how did you get this information?”

“liu yangyang. eternal sunshine’s second male lead, the one who’s gonna get dumped in the end,” you stopped the sentence but your manager knew you’re about to dump the biggest, scandalous tea about the man, “but in real life, i heard he dumped dong sicheng’s lead partner.”

“if i’m being honest? sicheng and that nepo baby’s chemistry is better than yangyang’s and her. but i do see some reason why they would hit off.”

“no, oppa. you don’t get it, do you?” you sighed, “yangyang worked his ass off in this industry, the nepo baby got it because of her parents! sure, she acts well… but y’know, their vision in life might be different… maybe that’s why they didn’t become a real couple,”

“how about hendery? is he really handsome in person?” your manager curiously asked, “i heard he’s a real asshole.”

“damn right, he is! that man didn’t even acknowledge me nor the staff! he just went straight to the student nurse who was interning during the film to get some paracetamols i’m pretty sure he doesn’t need,”

“so, hendery’s hot and an asshole. got it,”

“and dejun… we made eye contact but that’s really it! he’s so afraid of human touch. but he’s so handsome too. even more handsome than hendery and i can feel that he treats everyone nicely, he’s just afraid of being too close,”

“you got all these crazy juices just from one visit on the set and it was enough for you to write eternal sunshine. your talent scares me sometimes,” you can’t really tell if your manager was complimenting you or is weirded out by how well you remember the facts the staff have told you during your time inside the set as well as your own perceptions of every actor in it but you’d take it positively because you do agree that eternal sunshine has some interesting talents in it.

“oh! before i forget, you know that award-winning photojournalist, right? ten lee? apparently, he’s exes with sicheng’s makeup artist and his award-winning piece was a picture of her when they were still together! that’s the kind of part i got inspired to write eternal sunshine, as well as the storyline.”

“they’re not together now?”

“yeah, but it’s so weird because you can feel the tension and i think it’d be even weirder now because they’re wrapping up the first season and ten has to get the interesting bits while the makeup artist has to make sure sicheng is the interesting bit.”

“i can tell that you enjoyed your time there, y/n. but you better not tell anyone these or they will be in deep trouble.”

“i know! i just had to let it out to you because i know you love those actor rumours and stuff,” you rolled your eyes to your manager, already used to him warning you about getting in trouble from time to time.

when he left, you immediately continued composing your song about you and sicheng’s interaction, acting like it went to something even more special.

“i hope i can see him again…” you took a deep breath, looking at the paper you’re writing on, wishing to see and talk to him again.

you heard whispers that sicheng would attend the music festival you were headlining in but you never really took it seriously, considering the busy schedules he probably have because of eternal sunshine. but deep down, you wished he would come and see you perform… maybe he’d talk to you again and maybe he’d be interested in you.

as the sun was setting over the vibrant landscape of the music festival, you stood at the stage, taking a deep breath before looking into the crowd. of course, you were admiring your fans who came all the way from different cities just to see you but you were also hoping to see him. and that, you did.

you could swore it was the most romantic thing ever because he was also looking into your eyes and when your orbs met? you saw a glint of something behind his glance… or maybe it was just your contacts.

the music started and you sang one of your greatest hits, everytime, pouring your heart and soul into performing because it’s a song that you can definitely relate to now. ‘i hope he remembers me,’ you thought while singing, hyping the audience up to sing with you.

“why, oh why does god keep bringing me back to you?” you sang looking directly at sicheng who’s also looking at you with something you can’t put into words. you couldn’t really tell what it is that you saw in his eyes when you were performing because he’s with his friends a bit farther on the stage but at least, you could see him.

after your performance, your manager quickly led you to your dressing room where your staff quickly went near you to take off some of the heavy makeup, replacing it with some blush and lip balm so you could comfortably watch and enjoy the festival.

“y/n, change into this outfit,” one of the staff said, giving you an outfit that is extremely better than the ones you have right now. you just nodded in agreement before going to the comfort room where you changed.

“feel comfortable now?” your manager asked, giving you a water bottle. “i saw sicheng watching you! he looks so into your performance earlier, y/n,” he added.

you could tell he was teasing you but you didn’t care. you performed your best out there because he was watching.

“it was just eye contact, oppa,”

before your manager could respond back to you, a familiar figure towered you from behind and judging his reaction, it was the person you least expect to be in your dressing room right now.

“oh, sicheng! what brings you here?”

“can i talk to y/n?” his voice was humble, gentle, and comforting. you could melt then and there when you felt his breath from your back.

your manager gave you a reassuring smile, patted your shoulder, before giving the room all to you and sicheng.

‘this is it,’ you thought. the man you’ve been crushing over for at least a month now, behind you. now, you guys are alone in your dressing room but you can’t even try to look at him without feeling nervous.

“hi, y/n,” he started.

“sicheng! so glad to see you here! i almost thought you forgot about me,” you sheepishly blabbered. this time, you faced him.

and you almost died.

the man standing in front of you is the hottest human being ever and people around you would definitely agree if you told them that sicheng is not just a random actor. he is the actor.

“you were great out there,” he smiled, “it’s one of my favorite songs of yours,”

“i’m glad you like it! i had fun writing it last year,”

he leaned against the wall, looking relaxed yet attentive. “so, which one of your exes inspired you to write that?” he caught you off-guard with his teasing remark, reminding you of your first encounter with each other.

“what’s with you and my exes? are you interested in them?”

“i’m just curious how they fumbled someone like you,” he shot back with a charming smile.

“flattery won’t get you anywhere, sicheng,” you laughed and tried to shake off what he had just said. “some things just don’t work out, you know,”

sicheng just nodded to what you have just said, “try it with me?”

this time, you scoffed, “you’re an actor, i’m a singer. that’s like… a recipe for disaster.”

“i’d be in any disaster as long as i’m with you, y/n,” he retorted, eyes staring deeply into your orbs as he waited for your response.

“whatever, sicheng,” you rolled your eyes, smiling lightly before your manager entered your dressing room again.

when your manager entered the room, you looked into sicheng’s direction, as if to signal that his time with you is over and he took that as a sign to give you a short farewell.

“see you soon, y/n,” was all he said before vanishing into the endless hallways of the festival’s backstage.

your manager’s looking at you with that stupid grin on his face, “so? what happened here and why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost? you got turned off or what?”

“woah there, buddy. calm down with those questions, will you?”

but he couldn’t really stop smiling from your interaction with sicheng again. afterall, these days you’ve been thinking about the actor nonstop.

“he wanted me to try to play the game of love with him. to be in a relationship with him, i guess?” this time, your manager smiled even wider, waiting for you to continue. “stop looking at me like a creepy man,”

“you know what this means right, y/n?” he started, “to have one of the most popular actors talk to you after your performance,”

“yeah dude, it means they want to get in my pants!” you replied annoyingly.

“or you could’ve maintained the innocent route and answered, ‘oh! it means he’s interested in me!’” your manager mocked your voice to prove a point with both of his index and middle finger doing the air quote-unquote symbol.

“i know…” you whined, “but what if we won’t work out? what if we end up like those songs i wrote about heartbreaks?”

but your manager could only give you a reassuring tap on your shoulder, “then write another song about it,”

your manager is actually right.

at this point in time, you might write another song about a heartbreak. it’s been months now, since that dressing room interaction with sicheng and after it, you found yourself entangled with the actor. in every place you never thought about, actually!

“still waiting for him?” the lead actress asked you.

right, you’re in the filming site right now, waiting for sicheng because he told you to come to his apartment later. you decided it was better for the both of you to come at the same time so as to prevent suspicion from the public eye. afterall, your manager is already stressed when you inform him about the situation with sicheng now.

“yeah, i am. how’s the filming going?” you tried to make a short conversation with the lead actress. even though the public has said countless bad comments about her, she’s actually nice and easygoing. and easygoing in a sense that this girl has probably never seen a bad guy in her life!

“sicheng’s been acting grumpy nowadays. i think it has to do with his dating rumour with karina,” she started, sitting beside you. “you know how those idol-actor rumour goes,”

you nodded. of course, you do know how those go considering you’ve had countless rumours with many men, some of them you didn’t know even existed. but sicheng’s is different because his company keeps on pushing him to do it, telling him it’s ‘good’ publicity.

before you and the lead actress of eternal sunshine could continue your conversation, sicheng and yangyang came into the picture. the latter gave you a gummy smile whilst signalling the lead actress to follow him. you assumed they have made up and are now in a relationship but you could only assume, sicheng doesn’t tell you stuff.

“let’s go,” sicheng gave you a half-smile before leading you to his van where yuta, his manager, has been waiting for the both of you.

“hello, yuta,” you greeted politely.

“hi, y/n. sorry if it took long for sicheng to wrap up tonight, it’s an important scene that the director wants to finish immediately,”

“you don’t need to tell her that, hyung. y/n understands, right?” the actor looked into your direction, giving you his charming smile.

you smiled back, giving him the satisfaction.

you will definitely write a song about this.

it’s never ending, honestly. your nights with sicheng in his apartment. him cuddling you to sleep while helping you write lyrics then you begging him to spoil eternal sunshine just for the man to smirk at your pleading face before telling you to go to sleep.

it’s those nights that made you stay with what you guys have but on mornings, you would wake up alone in his bed, leaving you wondering where he might have gone.

on the first night he had left you alone, you waited until lunch for him to come home but he never did. you only realized that he had come to another filming site when your manager called you, worrying where’d you went the night before. then it happened again and again, urging you to tell your manager what really is happening but you couldn’t give an answer because the two of you haven’t talked about what you guys have right now.

“it’s been hard, oppa,” you started, sighing on the way home the next morning after your encounter with sicheng and yuta last night. “i can’t believe i’m letting him do this to me,”

“why don’t you ask him about your status? you just can’t keep on waking up alone in that bed if you guys have something going on,”

“i don’t want to pressure sicheng, especially now when things start to get stressful in his work,”

your manager sighed in disbelief, closing his eyes in disappointment to what you have just said. “you’re preparing for an album too, y/n. things are also stressful on your side,”

“he’s an actor, he has more things to think about than what we are,”

you try to convince yourself that everything is okay. his texts grew shorter, his calls less frequent. hell, he rarely invites you on set. but when he’s with you? it was like he was a different person. soft, attentive, and present. he would make you dinner and tell you you’re the prettiest thing on earth, only to be left behind the morning after.

mornings with sicheng are nonexistent. it made you feel used, unloved, and sad. but asking him your label is more humiliating. you’re afraid of putting things into his mouth, afraid he might lose interest in you if you’ve ever asked him about the two of you.

you’re afraid to be too much for him.

but you’re only human and he’s pushing you to the edge now. you’ve been overwhelmed with your recording session earlier and sicheng has not replied to any of your messages, even after you finished recording–your phone still had no sign of him seeing your chats and replying to you.

after the grueling session with your manager inside the recording studio, you immediately left him to go at sicheng’s apartment, even if there’s a risk of getting caught by paparazzis. you just can’t help it now, you’re getting suffocated and confused and hurt. you’re getting every feeling you are not supposed to feel when in love.

you rang his doorbell for the nth time until a sleepy sicheng opened the door.

“do you even care about this?” if you weren’t tired and mad, you would’ve melted at his appearance now but your voice was trembling and your legs were shaking as he left you inside his apartment.

“what kind of question is that, y/n?” his voice was sleepy but his tone was defensive.

“the kind i have to ask because you never let me in,” now, your frustration is spilling over and your mind is not working right. “i’m always the one chasing you, sicheng! aren’t you tired of running from me? haven’t you thought about what i feel?”

for a moment, you thought he might say something to ease the ache in your chest. instead, he sighed and turned his back on you. “this is who i am, y/n. you agreed to be linked with someone like me in the first place. if i’m not enough for you, maybe you should leave,”

the first break up was messy (like the other ones that followed). you tried to convince yourself that it was a mutual one but your manager, and everyone around you, didn’t believe you.

you remember the way back home, your manager picking you up crying at sicheng’s apartment parking lot. he bit his lip and ran his fingers through his hair before picking you up, telling you to shush and calm down but you never did. all you did that night was cry and ask your manager if you were not enough.

when your mind was kind of cleared, you realized that maybe distancing yourself to sicheng is for the better. afterall, you both had your careers and responsibilities. maybe being with an actor is really a disaster.

but the break up didn’t last like how you expected it to do. a few weeks later, he showed up to your apartment, which also counts as the first time he went there, after his schedule. he didn’t greet you with his calm and comforting demeanor like the first time, he was cold and unreadable–distant but pleading.

“i shouldn’t be here,” he admitted as you told him to come inside, “but i couldn’t stay away,”

and just like that, you were back in the loop. nights that felt like promises and mornings that broke you all over again.

“are you sure about this, y/n?” your manager oppa asked you.

“yeah! i feel him changing for the better, oppa,” you smiled brightly, eyes scanning the setlist for your upcoming concert.

“waking up with him beside you doesn’t count as change, y/n! you still haven’t asked him about what you guys are!” he scolded but you avoided his glance.

the truth is, you did. you asked again. it was inside your apartment this time. it was around december, when everything felt cold outside but inside felt even colder.

your head in sicheng’s lap as the both of you watched the latest episode of eternal sunshine. he was watching your reaction as kun’s character was being teased by the lead actress and hendery.

“sicheng,” you called.

“hmm?”

“are you ready?” you asked. unlike the last time where you had the guts to confront him, you didn’t have the courage to do so that night. you were afraid of what he had to say but you wanted to ask. you had to ask him.

“y/n…” he started, he was caressing your hair as if to comfort you but deep inside, you know it’s his conscience eating him up, “i’m sorry,”

you shouldn’t have asked.

it was humiliating but you can’t help the tears streaming down sicheng’s pajamas. you were crying while still in his lap. but what made you hurt more was him, raising the volume of the television just so he couldn’t hear you aching because of him.

you fell asleep with an achy heart that night. the day after, sicheng distanced himself from you, feeling ashamed of what he did. you guys did break up again that time but you didn’t have the guts to tell your manager because, like what you expected, the both of you reconciled again.

and then broke up, once more.

when eternal sunshine’s director invited you to the set again, you were hesitant to come but your manager encouraged you to do so, saying something along the lines of ‘face your fears’ or something.

“hello, y/n! long time no see!” the director beamed at your presence, “i told sicheng to bring you here anytime but he never did! your presence is missed deeply,”

“oh… we kinda broke up,” you sheepishly said, the atmosphere now awkward. before the director could apologize, you quickly added “it’s not like there’s something to ‘break’ ‘cause there was never an us in the first place… but y’know,”

she gave you a sad smile, “it didn’t work out, huh?”

“he didn’t work it out with me,”

it was true. you tried your best to understand sicheng but every break up you guys had also made him even distant. sure, he was better than the first one–he would kiss your cheek, make you dinner and breakfast but everything felt empty. as if he was doing all those stuff to keep you to stay.

“anyways,” the director cleared her throat, “i called you here because i wanted to talk about the album you’re doing for season 1 and 2. i assume your manager has told you to have it finished by the exact time the last episode of season 1 airs?”

you nodded. even during the second break up that your manager didn’t know, he made you aware of the album situation with eternal sunshine. the ost you made became a hit that everyone is demanding another song from you for the series however, both parties agreed that an album would be beneficial for you and the drama.

you couldn’t say no to your manager, especially when he looked so ecstatic telling you about the opportunity. music was your escape, but during those times it was tying you even closer to the man you couldn’t let go of.

making an album for the drama also includes you visiting the set just so you could get the vibes, to make it as close to the characters as possible.

“y/n-ssi! dejun made cookies and he said this is for you,” qian kun warmly acknowledged your presence before giving you the cookies dejun had made, “he said it’s for you. he hopes that he can cheer you up with these,”

“oh, thank you, kun! i hope to see him next time to give thanks personally,” you gladly accepted the cookies and yangyang joined in your conversation.

“that won’t happen, noona! dejun always disappears after his scenes so he’s not really close to anyone except the cast,” yangyang butted in, picking a cookie from your stash. “yum!”

“yangyang!” kun tried to scold the younger man but he already dashed off to where the director was, discussing the next scene.

“have you tried to make a move on the director yet, kun?” you teased, knowing that he had been trying to make a move, it’s just that the director keeps on dodging his advances.

“trust me, y/n. i’ve been trying,” he sounded so helpless you almost saw you in him, when you were still a mess. “he’s coming,”

kun warned you but it couldn’t prepare you to see sicheng again, after a month. you vividly remember that time when you guys reconciled but called it off again after a week. this is the first time you’re seeing him again as you were determined to not meet him when visiting the filming site.

“long time no see, y/n-ssi,”

and it hurt you more than the break ups you had with him.

the album, also titled eternal sunshine, became your most personal work. each track was a piece of your heart laid bare as well as the cast’s personal stories they had disclosed to you, but one song in particular, don’t wanna break up again, resonated louder than the rest. it was raw. it was everything you wanted to say put into a song. every lyric was a plea you can’t say aloud.

when the album was released alongside the last episodes of the series, it was an instant hit. interviews came pouring in, but the questions were never just about the music. everyone wanted to know who the music was for.

“so, y/n! it’s been so long!” the host greeted you, “the song, don’t wanna break up again, is incredibly emotional! everyone was hooked! can you possibly tell us what inspired you to write such a heart wrenching song?”

you hesitated for a moment, your chest tightening. a particular name was aching to be let out by your mouth but you swallowed it down. you smiled forcefully, like what the management had trained you before when you were still a trainee. “it’s about loving someone who pushes you into your limit, thinking you’re too much for them,” you said every word carefully, “that even though they’re making you feel all the bad stuff, you still hold onto them–like a cycle of losing and wanting,”

“sounds personal,” the interviewer teased, wanting to pry just a little more. “is it based on your own experience?”

your throat felt dry, but you gracefully replied, “i think it’s fitting for eternal sunshine, actually! but i think everyone’s been through something like that,”

but not everyone had a sicheng. not everyone had nights where love was promised and mornings where it shattered into pieces.

the thing you have been dreading to happen, happened. your fans caught up to everything. the media caught up.

the speculation began online after the wrapping up press conference of the cast where they were singing your album’s tracks. the part where they were singing don’t wanna break up again trended like wildfire that everyone talked about for weeks… because they were singing it straight into sicheng’s face.

clues were pieced together. from your social media posts, sicheng’s cryptic interviews, to his unusual behavior while everyone was singing your song.

to your fans, it made total sense. this was your most personal album and everything you and sicheng had been saying on your separate interviews during the ‘plotted’ timeline, as what they have been saying on x, connected with each other.

“GUYS! do you remember when sicheng was wearing a hoodie oddly similar to y/n’s and then us finding out it was custom-made?” one fan tweeted, garnering thousands of likes. “‘we both know this time, so we say goodbye’ y/n REALLY got in the studio, wrote THIS, and thought we wouldn’t figure it out. sis, you played yourself,” another one butted in. “‘this situationship has to end but i just can't refuse’ i KNOW this line has sicheng pacing around his living room rn. he’s probably listening to it on repeat like the rest of us but for HIM it’s personal.”

“this is bad, y/n! everyone’s linking you to sicheng,” stress is an understatement if you were to describe your manager right now, answering calls and texts here and there.

“if this was months ago, i would’ve loved all of these, won’t i?” you teased, remembering the time you imagined your manager’s hair withering from the stress a dating scandal with sicheng would bring him, not thinking it would become real.

soon, you and sicheng became a hot topic together, with the netizens creating video edits pairing scenes from eternal sunshine with snippets of your performances. every lyric from that song of yours was scrutinized, with don’t wanna break up again becoming the anthem of the speculation.

it was only a matter of time a fearless journalist popped the question, “your fans are convinced that the song is about a certain actor. do you have any comments on that?”

that wasn’t part of the question list they have submitted on your management prior to this interview so you were taken a back. you looked at the side to see your manager’s eyebrows knitted together, completely disappointed to the journalist. “i think art speaks for itself, it’s up for the listener to interpret it,” you replied, giving the journalist a kind smile.

“but doesn’t it make you uncomfortable, knowing that everyone is connecting your song to someone specific?” it seems like a kind smile won’t falter this journalist’s pressing questions.

“heartbreak is universal. the details don’t matter as much as the emotions,”

behind close doors, however, the attention was harder to ignore. your team advised you to avoid addressing the rumours and apologized for the inconvenience the journalist had caused earlier.

“it’s fine, it’s not like everyone expected for that to happen,” brushing off their concern.

despite the media buzzing over the possible ‘biggest’ dating rumour ever in the industry, sicheng and his management remained silent. it stung you deeply, for him, someone you loved dearly, to not go against his management rules and defend you. but what’s there for him to defend about?

his management, so quick to fabricate a public romance with karina to boost his movie, now met the storm with a calculated indifference. no denial, no defense–just the old school silence, hoping it will die down after a day or so. as if you were just a fleeting rumour unworthy of their acknowledgement.

sadly, the buzz grew when photos surfaced of the two of you entering sicheng’s apartment. you think it was that night when you were overwhelmed with everything that you just stormed out of your recording booth to ask him. thankfully, the photo didn’t show you and sicheng’s face but with the silhouette? it was clear that it was the both of you.

one evening, after another press junket, you found yourself face-to-face with sichang again. he’d been avoiding you per his management’s request but here he is, leaning against the wall of your dressing room.

it was like the first meeting again. when he asked you out.

“the album,” he started. his voice was softer than you expected, making you remember the nights where he’d sing to you, “it’s beautiful,”

you forced a smile, “thank you,” your tone was neutral, “i guess heartbreak makes good music,”

his jaw tightened, “you think i don’t know?”

this time, you tried your best not to let out a sarcastic laugh, “do you?” you were challenging him, stepping closer to feel his aura deteriorating, “because you made sure it never stops,”

for a moment, sicheng didn’t say anything and you thought he’d run away from you again. then, quietly, “i never wanted to hurt you, y/n,”

“but you did, sicheng!” your voice was full of ache, “and you kept on doing it. every time, sicheng… i think i’ve moved on and then you pull me back in. i thought you were getting better but you didn’t. i thought i was too much for asking what we had, you know? you made me feel bad for demanding things that shouldn’t been demanded in the first place,”

he tried to touch your cheek, noticing a tear falling down your eye but you stepped back, “i’m sorry, y/n,”

you shook your head, “just stop, sicheng. please?”

the final break up, or the closure (like what your manager likes to call it), wasn’t loud or dramatic. it was quiet, mature, and comforting. it was like a song fading out. the first weeks, he kept on calling, begging you to stay by his side but you know that if you did, you’ll be back in the cycle that favors him the most, the type where you lose yourself in the process.

so, you stopped answering his calls and eventually, he stopped making them.

the world never really moved on from you and sicheng but the speculations died down. in the end, your album and the series’ excellence were praised by everyone without bringing up the scandalous romantic escapade you had with sicheng.

late at night, when you stared out at the city lights, the memories still lingered, soft yet cutting. despite knowing how disastrous it was to love him, you had returned again and again, hoping for something more… something that he wasn’t ready to give you despite him telling you to try it with him.

and in the end, you let him slip through your fingers, even as your heart begged you to hold on just one more time. because beneath the longing for his touch and warmth, you know it had to end at some point.

COMING UP NEXT. “yangyang worked his ass off in this industry, the nepo baby got it because of her parents! sure, she acts well… but y’know, their vision in life might be different… maybe that’s why they didn’t become a real couple,”

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