#but I only have one thread right now
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i think i should stop posting before i worry people or annoy people
#the only thing stopping me from leaving the server is that i don't want people to worry#and also my corus thread#i like my corus thread#if nobody got me i know corus got me can i get an amen#i say as if multiple people haven't reached out to me but#you know what this is#a self fufilling prophecy#by worrying about ruining my friendships i lose the ability to talk to people who i know are reaching out#and i thus ruin my friendships whoop dee doo#reading all your messages and never replying#searching up my name to see if i matter still#i'm sorry that i do this i really really am#me omw to make everything about me#this close to losing it and by it i mean my stability#i Love getting upset over things people have no control over!#the thoughts tell me to delete my blogs bruh but all my stuff..#and corus#pausing#breathing#i am aware i am not in a good headspace right now#i am aware people are reaching out to me#i am aware i am terrified to reply#i am aware i am sleep deprived#i am hurting people. i do not mean to#but i am#so i will fix this#one step at a time#first#address situation#explain
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I find political talk so distressing. And not for the reasons you’d think.
#I mean or maybe you would idk#I think some of it has to do with the fact that I like to be—if not always in a central role. centered myself#holding many threads in my hands that tie back to others#weaving them all together. braiding. whatever metaphor you want#but weaving is part of the picture. and I do work with many threads all the time#but when it comes to politics I have simply no threads at all. and I don’t know how they fit together#it is isolating and awful.#it’s one of the only times I truly actually deeply wish I was married#I don’t even fully know why#but yeah.#anyways. it was a good day!#but it’s hard right now
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I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually
#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match#maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe 💀#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya#oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig#OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2#amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe#wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here#i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready#oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets#i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma#my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff#so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk#i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff#also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you 💖#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao#k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see
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we will recieve some glimpse in what Time And Time Again would have been if webtoon gave you enough time?
To be honest, at this point I don't think it would have been entirely different. It would have been More, I guess. Each part perhaps a little longer, development a bit slower, delving a bit deeper into their psyches, more time periods and mysteries...
The kinds of things I feel sad about missing are things like. I wanted to give Steve a cane. I wanted to touch more directly on Adam's PTSD. I wanted to get more into vampires, share some more of the worldbuilding I did, I wanted to send them to so many places, I have a list that's like an entire page of ideas! just... More! I still want to do these things, I'm trying to fit everything I can in... But yeah. Theres really only so much I can do with the limited time!
It's hard to explain, but when you rewrite everything to make it smaller, it's not necessarily different in very tangible ways. It's not quite like "this was the original ending but I had to change it" (for me, at least) it's more like... I planned a five course meal for my guests, but had to go with three. Everyone is still getting fed! And no one expected five courses anyways. The goal is that we're all full and happy.
I know this makes it confusing why I'm complaining about the situation, if it's no different tangibly what's the problem? Well the answer to that is it's extremely hard to condense things that, quite frankly, were already pretty dense. It's really hard! But it's work worth doing, to me...
So to answer your question, the glimpse into what it would have been is what I'm going to give you.
#it's just shorter#the way i write already utilizes HEAVY cutting#i delete entire episodes all the time#I'm already pretty efficient with my space#but this... it's been like. every single moment has to be capitalizing on like four different threads#the ending the next arc the current arc their characters the lore. like#and it can't be in a way that's boring#I'm still working hard to make each arc relatively standalone#just#it's all hard!!!#and the thing is it will#if i did my job right#feel seamless to you as the reader#the only indication i cut a bunch should be that I'm telling you i am right now...#just yeah#a lot of people keep asking me where i am and what's taking so long#like well!!!#I'm trying to make it good!!!#so be patient please!#if you wanted a rushed ending we coulda been halfway there by now#but i want it done right!#so that takes longer!#asks#anon#hope this makes sense#i don't really have a huge “this is what they're taking from you”#I'm trying to build you guys a playground you can play on#and i trust through the life you breathe into it#it will be fuller than i could have done regardless.#so write. draw stuff. send them one million places
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Absolutely incredible how I went into both Camp Cretaceous and Chaos Theory fully ready to commit to a gay ship but both of them wound up giving me next to nothing in the first season.
#okay actually I think I was seeing Benji at the end of Season 1?#but I think Season 2 killed it at some point#it might not have died until Season 3?#maybe the fandom killed that one for me?#obviously I locked in on Yasammy but...I think it was Season 3 that killed Benji#then this time I was all ready for Benrius#and two episodes in I was like ''nope this Will Not Work''#their dynamic was INCREDIBLE don't get me wrong#I love those two!#but sometimes you just gotta go ''yeah no this isn't going to work in a shippy sense these two just don't Click''#obviously sometimes (looking at you Brooklynn and Kenji) the canon doesn't care#but...there's just no Pop and it's annoying#I do think there's a small thread of Benji weaving a little path through#largely because I think Ben ''Live In a Van'' and Kenji ''Live In a Trailer'' now match Wild Energy#but#eh#the only one is Yaz and Sammy right now#even Dinostar is on the ropes with me because well Brooklynn's dead#but also more importantly Darius admits she wasn't into him#which is neat because even though they lived together for a bit#NOTHING HAPPENED#and I don't think he was missing clues or anything I think he really picked up on it#and then they fell apart#jwct shipping nonsense
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Ok real question for you guys here: Would any of you guys be interested in seeing posts along the lines of goth OOTD? I know I’ve talked a bit about how I am a part of the goth subculture, but I feel like I haven’t really shown any of my goth fits on here! Even if goth is a music based subculture first and foremost, but I love indulging in the fashion (when I have the energy to lol) so I think I should share my outfits when I get all dressed up on here! What do you guys think?
#squidposting#inkposts#ink talks#goth#goth fashion#ootd#if I do end up doing a goth ootd I’ll have to remember to actually take decent pictures of my outfits lol#my goth outfit line is small right now but I still think I can mix and match some pieces to make a fair amout of cool fits!#the only downside is that one of my main simple dresses has started showing its age with loose threads and such oof
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I think I mentioned that I was looking into getting a better sewing machine? well, it arrived today 🙈 that happened much faster than planned. I found the model I was looking at at a (relatively) local sewing machine store, for 30% off because it had been in the shop window, so the plastic has yellowed.
I wasn't sure how I felt about that (the website only said it was a floor model or something similar, then someone from the store called and told me the specifics and asked if that was still okay), but honestly? I never ever would have paid the full price, it was just too much, I couldn't justify that. but this reduced price was only a little more than the ones I had been looking at before (that were not great quality and probably wouldn't last very long).
I am very particular about things like this but I'm trying to make myself accept that it really is not that bad. it actually looks kinda cool. I just have to get my brain to accept that it's not a flaw, it's just a completely superficial and insignificant thing that doesn't affect its function at all. it's good that this machine that works perfectly won't end up in a landfill just because it doesn't look brand new.
I only got to try it a little bit today because I wasn't feeling well but damn, the difference to my old machine is huge!! it's so much more fun and easy to use - I love having the needle threader and that it can automatically cut the yarn when you're done. and with the start/stop button it's actually really fun to wind bobbins!! I always hated that on my old machine.
I skimmed through the manual earlier (and put page markers in it so that I can easily find anything later) - it did seem somewhat overwhelming at first. I've never used or even seen (irl) a computerised sewing machine, so of course it did! but it already felt much more familiar after just using it a little bit today. I love it 🥰
(also, I think the fact that it doesn't look perfect and brand new actually helps - I'm not afraid to use it in case I 'ruin' it!)
#I really hope I'll use it a lot#I didn't use my old one much because it was just such a hassle.#mainly little things that didn't work right#and something as simple as the way you have to thread it not being labeled clearly on the machine itself#I've got memory issues and found that very annoying (and in the end I drew the instructions on with sharpie because it got so frustrating)#I've also bought a.. probably stupid amount of little sewing things that I've wanted for years.#and an iron (got the old one second hand for 5€ and it will not stop dripping). and a set of thread (I only had thread that was old and/or#really bad quality. I can only get about 5 colours locally AND it's pretty expensive. so a set made sense... 😬)#it's the same thing every time. I get (more) into a hobby. I buy every fucking thing. I do it all day every day until it stops being the#most interesting thing on earth. and then I pick it up again like once a year but always feel guilty for not doing it enough#annnnyway#I'm very excited about all of it right now#I'm hoping it'll last a while#I mean. I've been interested in sewing for over a decade. I just never had enough money to really get into it the way I'd like#so. I don't think it'll ever completely go away at least#I've bought a bunch of vintage sewing patterns on ebay and I'm really excited to try them#I'm thinking I'll do some baby clothes first - I don't know any babies at the moment but baby clothes are small and also very adorable#so even if I mess up they'd still look cute 😂#and I wouldn't have wasted too much fabric haha#personal
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actually funny as dick i just have an aoki mod for yk2. the fact one even EXISTS bro who really thought 'i need to kick the shit out of people with this trash bag of a human being who'll keel over if you breathe on him wrong'
#snap chats#albeit he is wearing ibuchis suit but ill take what i can get its so niche its hilarious#its SUCH a niche mod like the shirtless sawashiro mod. like SO CLOSE to what i was lookin for but id like him clothed ty#did i post my screenshots of aoki in scenes with daigo or did i just do that on my priv twt. lol.#im remembering this cause i was lookin for a vid on my computer and i forgot i still had gameplay footage that i used for my aoki amv#now i just wanna play yk2... there should be more mods that inject aoki into places he shouldnt be..#i only play yk2 for the mods lmaoooo listen beating up daigo with aoki is hilarious ESP using the noodle heat action#WAAAIT I JUST REMEMBERED one of my twit moots posted a thread with a bunch of y7 mods#UNFOTRUNATELY her main got suspended so i cant see the pics anymore#but one of them had young jo and arakawa as party members.... the shots were so cute omg i wish i saved them WAHHH#who do i have to pay for me to get my grubby hands on party member/playable arakawa and sawashiro mods#i need it in my grubby hands right now#this why i cant be allowed to mod id be making the most annoying shit ever and itd only ever be for me#ok bye im doodlin now
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Hey gang. ♡ Just a quick note to say I’m gearing up to come back. Things are hectic at work, and I’m on duty all this weekend, but I’m taking leave next week so I should be here a good bit.
#i’ve done some tidying behind the scenes#and my muse tiers have been adjusted to reflect my current interests#right now anri is my main focus#( which doesn't mean much when she has one thread but shh ahshsh )#farkas is close behind her#followed by dez and mary#vi and hanzo are now request only muses#( i still love them don't worry )#to make this a comfier space for me going forward#i’ll be drawing a harder line against blogs that are heavily affiliated or exclusive#this includes single-ship blogs#i play support in overwatch not in rp ✌️#today i'll be going through my followers and pruning a bit#i'm doing a bit of writing on discord these days#so on tumblr i'm aspiring to quality over quantity and meaningful dynamics between characters#anyway happy wednesday gang! 💕#if you read all that guff you deserve a gold star#◈ — ooc; saddest little baby in the room
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“👋 Good; you’re not busy.” And even if the CEO was (which was the more likely scenario for the freakin’ workaholic), he hardly has a choice but to suddenly be distracted, as Timothy’s already halfway across the office in a series of long and eager strides. When he makes it to Rhys, he wastes not a second more: a hand grips that unfairly distracting waist, yanks him forward, and Timmy claims that kiss he’s been craving since . . . well, probably ever since the last time he left Promethea. You know, totally not even slightly pathetic, but what’s a man to do?
// i wasn't kidding with my warning last night 〔´∇`〕
Answered! || @jackdup
((alkdfjskd weeps softly into hands over how cute these two are ;A; 💕))
Except that anyone who knew the Atlas CEO also knew that he was always busy. On this particular day, the last two hours of Rhys' afternoon had been spent on a call with an insufferable requisitions manager who refused to take "no" for an answer no matter how many different ways Rhys shut down his proposal. If he had to listen to one more half-assed argument he was liable to pull his hair out.
Thus the initial swoop of dread in his stomach when the door to his office burst open because ughhh, this clown's rambling would be ten times more excruciating in person. But a glance at the doorway brightened his expression from 'about to commit murder' to a genuine grin for the first time that day. Just seeing Timothy again worked such wonders at easing the weight from his shoulders that, not for the first time, Rhys wondered if he was the biggest sap in the galaxy. (The answer was a pretty solid probably.)
"Oh, hey! I wasn't expecting you! Not that that makes it less great to see you, obviously—lemme just..."
But by the time he hopped up from his chair, Tim had already crossed the vast office, and the intent in his eyes as he closed in short-circuited Rhys' brain. Oh, he knew that look. "Orrr not, ho-kay—" His voice fizzled into a super composed and not at all pathetic sound that he failed to swallow. At least he had the sense to put his line of the call on mute before he was swept into a passionate kiss.
The moment their lips met, it suddenly felt like it had been ages since he'd last had this instead of a few weeks. Equally eager (and fully accepting of his "sappiest bastard in the universe" title at this point), Rhys grasped at Tim's shirt to keep him close and kissed him with a fervor to make up for the time they'd spent apart.
...All while an obnoxious voice squawked from the screen on his desk. If Rhys hadn't cared before, he definitely didn't care now, so...Begrudgingly, one hand relinquished its hold in favor of slapping blindly at the desktop until the call clicked off. "I dunno what I'm more glad for," he murmured amid fleeting snatches of breath, "this, or finally having a reason to hang up on that guy."
#《⭒✩⭒ || interaction: company man (rhys) 》#《⭒✩⭒ || bond: I can make your hands clap (jackdup) 》#《⭒✩⭒ || answered ask 》#《⭒✩⭒ || iconless thread 》#AHHH THIS WAS SUCH A DELIGHT TO RECEIVE TTOTT#DON'T WORRY TIMTAM YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE BURSTING AT THE SEAMS TO LOVE ON YOUR BAE#they have been unleashed and now cannot be stopped X'D#smash cut to Rhys calling Lorelei like “you handle things for the rest of the day”#“something urgent came up I HAVE TO smooch this boy senseless RIGHT NOW”#among other things B3c#tysm for sending this in darling! ;w;/ 💗💗
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My boyfriend and I picked up a book called Threads that Bind (Kika Hatzopoulou) for a mini book club while we were at the beach this week and we didn’t realize it was a first in a series and not a standalone and I finished it and I’m OBSESSED with the world and characters and plot but there’s no sequel yet 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#threads that bind#kika hatzopoulou#I might make a proper book rec later but I cannot recommend this book enough#I just don’t have the words right now to type a proper recommendation#the cliff hanger at the end is INSANE but I’m sure it’ll be so worth it when the next one comes out#please read this and die with me cause AAHHHH it’s so good and the only reason I’m mad it’s not stand-alone is I can’t wait for the next one#Ms Kika if you have a tumblr and see this I love your book I can’t wait for the next oneeeee#lots of great casually delivered representation and such it’s wonderful
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Idea first came to me after I said something like "a thousand needles sewing you to a canvas of pain" and so I decided to make it real as best I could.
#does this count as#sculpture#my art#color says shit#Ford's Art#<- figured I needed an actual art tag since I'm actually doing more stuff so that's it I guess.#now I have to go back and edit the tags on all my old art stuff#gonna tag this as#body horror#just in case. some of those threads are actually going through my skin so it's worth tagging.#anyway. I'm finally finished with it! ngl I finished and was like 'what if I don't post it I just keep it privately?'#but I'm continuing my exposure therapy by posting art publicly so here.#anyway. it's no dismembered hand stitched to a canvas but it's the best I could do without going full Hannibal and committing medical crime#I used glue at the start to sew through before giving up and just figuring out how much skin I could get the needle through#I'm gonna feel it tomorrow for sure#do you have any idea how hard this was with just one hand. I had to use my toes as extra fingers to thread the needle every time I ran out#I wanted more tension on the threads but with only one hand and anchors that threatened to rip out I couldn't really#plus the left side was easier to sew because I was using my left hand. the right side was significantly more difficult#as evidenced by the significantly worse stitching on that side#I think I should have stuck with the glue though because it makes the pull marks like I wanted#it makes the thread have more of a meat-hook feel and weight rather than just light thread pulled through stiff skin#I like the left side better than the right. and the upper right is the least convincing
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took a page out of moon's book and started playing around with the idea of illustrated icons but i am Unsure
#actually tbh i considered using the webtoon for icons way back at the beginning of this blog#the only thing that stopped me...... was the short hair#it's still the main thing making me hesitate tbh#but lbr nothing's ever gonna suit perfectly for an oc#even my irl icons aren't Perfect for byan and never will be bc their perfect look exists only in my head#but the vibes here are decent now that i finally went to the trouble of digging up a pdf of the full comic and started scrolling through it#(bc i'm a fake fan who has never actually read it oops)#also it's literally animated jk like it can't get more ideal than this right#AND LIKE. it's always felt a little off to me to throw my irl icons onto threads w my mutuals who only have animated icons/fcs#i don't mind it THAT much but similar media makes things a little less jarring to look at#IDK idk i'm finishing up a reply to one such thread so i might take the opportunity to test the idea out idk#could play around with the colour palette too and make it more pink or smth 🤔#that could help add a little more of the right energy too maybe hmmm#anyway i'm rambling yes i'm thinking about it too much shush#if u read through all this ilu pls feel free to share ur opinion w me bc i'm Indecisive™️#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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this man gets it
#personal#it basically already says it right there: business stability and their own survival. that's what the council is for#it was initially started kind of by vincent a little bit because he was doing gigs for different fixers all over town and just#their stupid bickering with one another and general sense of hostility he sensed between them made him realize that#none of them would survive the winter like that. too busy fighting each other like what gangs and corporations were also doing#the council is supposed to sort of hold the intricate network of fixers / mercs / clients in night city together#by keeping eyes on every other party involved. so mainly gangs and corps. report any changes in activity and act accordingly#this also to prioritize safety of civilians because that's part of vincent's initial idea and mainly vitali is trying to like#keep that one of the core values of the council#but mainly just to maintain the balance i guess. this is a city that's already hanging on by a thread#so anything that can be done to at least make sure business can continue as usual would be highly beneficial for fixers#but also most of them are mostly in it for themselves and just for like. that part. making sure they can keep their business going#and the infighting is still there as well. you kinda have to look at it as like the pirate council in pirates of the caribbean#and the only reason rogue is kind of their leader a little bit is because everyone voted for themself but vitali decided to vote for rogue#which gave her two votes. and now she's in charge. but also out of all of them she has the most authority and knows what she's doing#anyway hi yes rambling again did you miss my blorboposting. wait until you get to see my extended night city map
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I'm hesitant to outright promise anything, but I'm hoping to get to my owed replies sometime soon? At least the ones I owe for Ghost, anyway.
I'm also open to plot new threads for either Ghost or Rouxls! Admittedly, I'm not sure how much time I'll have to sit down and Discuss things this week, mind you, but I'm willing to give it a shot! Finishing my currently owed replies will have to take priority over writing any new starters or replies for new threads, though, since I've owed them for a frankly ridiculous amount of time and I feel really bad for putting them off for so long, but plotting and planning stuff is good!
#ooc#((i only have two owed replies for ghost))#((so the ''replying to old threads has to take priority over starting new ones right now'' isn't That big of a thing))#((aside from the fact that i am Very Very slow with writing))#((but yeah. ough. really didn't mean to let my threads sit for this long))#((during the school year it was fine since i was busy with uni but i've been on summer break for a couple months now dgdhsh))#((it's not even that i don't know how to reply. i have ideas and plans!! it's just a matter of sitting down and actually Writing))#((i guess it's because i expect my replies to end up being pretty long. so i expect them to take a long time to write))#((and that makes me hesitant to start writing and then i end up procrastinating for months :l ))#((the same thing has been happening with my more important headcanon posts for ghost and rouxls' bio page))#((since i expect them to be long and thus take a lot of time to write out))#((although those also have the added thing of ''if i'm going to write something long then it should be a reply to a thread''))#((anyway. i've been rambling fhdgshfs))#((plotting! feel free to message me if you wanna do that!))#((i can't guarantee i'll be online consistently but we could probably make things work))#((plus i tend to write fairly long messages when i'm coming up with ideas so there would be longish waits in between my messages regardless)#((dgdgshf))
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I have ideas.
I have a peanut gallery of friends that get excited.
I have at least a couple spoons, sometimes.
I keep having to actively choose not to think about my wips not work on my wips not even look at my wips because I'll want to work on them and I have too much work and homework and my exam is coming up and I'm aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I want to write :'(
#bliz rambles#i have one that's technically only about half written but outlined and really will likely only take a wee bit to at least get the rough#draft done#i have another thats sprawling into a leggy fucking nightmare and ive been letting myself spew the ideas i have for it in little notes in#a thread in my discord gc and i want to compile them so bad it hurts#one of my friends made a sidelong comment yesterday that made me rwalize ive had a solution to a fic breaking problem#in my lap the whole goddamn time#and i cant work on a single fucking one of them#because if i let myself write for fun im going to blow every last spoon on it i know i will#and i have so few right now#because my pain is being Mean and i have a lot i /need/ to get done with those few spoons#and so i wait#and im so afraid that by the time i have time again#i wont have the motivation or the ideas will dry up or i'll be too burnt#i already feel like a pile of ash#but i have ideas. and i have /hope/ which is /wild/ because i thought i didnt like writinf and i thought i was bad at it#but my god people like my latest fic#like a lot more than i thought anyone ever might fjdjdksk#theres only 7 public bookmarks but my stats page says there're 32 🤣#i will /take that fucking win/ and id like to run with it i really would#but i have so much to do#dont work 6 days a week kids. not unless you get /really/ good benefits and they pay you for drive time.#and even then probably dont
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