#but I just. I don’t Want to be trans
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sometimes you have a gender thought that makes you go “wow. I am the bad trans rep”
#idk. not really a good day in the gender department#I talked about this before but like. I don’t want to be a ‘trans guy’ I still don’t really identify with that fully#but I do wish I could have been amab#and that’s what feels like ‘bad trans rep’ even though that’s stupid#like realistically I know I am not a bad person for having dysphoria#but idk.#is it just internally transphobic? like am I just being an asshole in my head? I don’t even know#but I just. I don’t Want to be trans#like I don’t Want to be ‘mtf’ I wish I could have just been an amab genderqueer person#that’s just kind of what it feels like inside of me#but it’s not reality#idk#delete later possibly#who knows#gender#mine
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I’m actually obsessed with this person. more cis (or “cis”, if they end up identifying differently) people should be doing this who gaf
#warlock wartalks#the concept of recreational hrt is crazy#edited the og post yall I didn’t expect this to blow up I don’t think anyone doing this has to be trans I was just joshing#I think cis ppl can and should use hormones if they want
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Leo learns something about himself 🏳️⚧️
Based roughly on this old post.
Bonus:
[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#trans leonardo#trans leo#rottmnt headcanons#turtle art tag#rise draxum#happy pride everyone~#if you’re wondering why there’s no backgrounds that’s because my files got messed up so just blankness in the bg sorry#but yeah!#this is forever and always my fav headcanon for Leo it makes too much sense to me#I wanted to make sure I got it done in time for pride haha#I don’t know if it’s obvious by the end but Draxum ran off because he was for once doing something nice for Leo#that being leading him somewhere else not in front of everyone so Leo can process the fact that he was born female in peace haha#(but he also just - wanted to avoid the ensuing awkward Talk as long as he could lol)#“how would Leo NOT know’’ he had an inkling but never thought much of it because he’s a teenage turtle mutant with no access to healthcare#also yeah that’s splinter’s hand at the end there I just KNOW he’d want those pics#also also - Leo here can technically be trans or even intersex in some way too#both is good#making this made me remember why I never do color#at least for comics#it just takes sooo long#but it was fun and worth it for my fave hc#this is like the first time I’ve drawn Draxum and man he’s kinda hard to draw#also their sizes are just 1 2 and 3 because Draxum had a simple system in place for sizing his subjects#(aka I was too lazy to think of anything else to put there)#also dunno if anyone noticed but look at Raph’s paper and look at his baby’s self’s photo
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Why are trans men constantly gaslit about our lived experiences?
We try to talk about how we’re denied reproductive care and are treated as others in gynecological spaces. We should not be outliers or things of ridicule or disgust in these spaces. These are spaces where we should be welcomed like any cis woman would be. We are treated like this even when we need gynecological care because we are trans men.
We try to talk about how TERFs oversexualize us while infantalizing and talking down to us. They act like they have ownership of our bodies, and like we need them to guide us to “accepting” ourselves as women. They do this because we are trans men. People have started calling them TWERFs instead, because they like to believe that we are included on behalf of TERFs wanting to change our minds and bodies, and claiming that they will have open arms for us when we’re “done with our phase.” (Being sexualized is especially true of straight trans men. Gay trans men will be constantly subjected to fatphobic stereotypes, and plenty of things that are just “LIBERAL SJW,” misogynistic stereotypes turned around and used against someone who it’s slightly more acceptable to hurt. This is okay to so many people because we are trans men.)
When we point out any ways that we face oppression, we have 500 people screaming that another group has it worse. Depending on the group, they claim that we’re either privileged men or privileged little girls complaining about nothing.
There is no way for us to win in society’s eyes. We are constantly silenced and spoken over, even by some of our siblings. Trans men deserve to be respected. Trans men deserve to be understood. Trans men deserve to be accepted.
Trans men deserve to be believed.
#trans#transgender#transandrophobia#transmisandry#trans man#trans men#plenty of this is also relatable to other transmascs#I just say trans men because I am one and don’t want to speak for transmasc nonbinary people whose experiences I am not as familiar with#feel free to add on if you’re transmasc or posting in support of us
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it’s so funny to me that people used to try to warn me “if you go on t it won’t make you androgynous it’ll just make you look like a man” because 1) i do want to look like a man, that is famously a major part of being a trans man but also 2) t literally has made me androgynous?? like they were wrong on both counts. i got most of the looking-like-a-man changes that i wanted (deep voice, broader body, hair all over my body including my face) and i also give every single cis person in a five mile radius a stroke every time they try to figure out my gender. the assumption that trans men wouldn’t actually want to look like men and the assumption that cis people are good at correctly gendering us once we’re on t are both weird as hell.
#people said this to me all the fucking time pre t#to the point that it did almost make me too afraid to go on t bc ‘what if they’re right and i don’t really want to look like a man?’#but it turns out that was bullshit on so many levels#i look ‘like a man’ now and love it and also am the most androgynous person most cis people i meet have ever seen#y’all just don’t know how t works at fucking all#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia#trans men#transmascs
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To the trans boys looking at news on transphobia and transandrophobia today, please don’t. The most important thing in the whole world to me right now is that you take care of yourselves; you’ve been on my mind all day and you will be for much longer, I love you so deeply and I’ll do anything I can to support and protect you. Trans guys and transmascs have an especially high rate of self-harm and suicidal ideation, and with certain fearmongering you may have heard around our community by certain groups specifically, that may be much worse right now. It’s entirely possible your life will be negatively affected for a while, including possible transition delays. But this is only temporary, for your current and future self and every trans person out there I need you to do your best to keep up hope. There is so much trans joy to be had in your life, I promise you. I’ll be there right by your side, and I’m sincerely here to talk if you need me.
#i may not be super responsive today but i’ll be back on it tomorrow. if you need someone urgently please try trans lifeline/trevor project#transandrophobia#transphobia#us politics#us politics tw#mine#i do mean trans boys specifically here as i know you’re the most vulnerable to legislation targeting minor transitions#but if any other trans person of any variety wants and ear please reach out to me or someone else. just don’t be alone right now.#si tw#sh tw
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can you draw candy as fiddleford. plz plz plz OuO
Oh believe me I have,,, SO MUCH ART of Candy as Fiddleford she literally drives me wild
Take this massive dump of art of young Candy and Dipper because they made lose my mind in the best way possible 💥💛💥
EDIT: A kind soul named DastardlyWLW decoded all the codes in the replies because I was an idiot who forgot to write down all the codes before I merged my layers, so if you wanna know what the codes all say just look in the replies and thank them for saving my sorry ass 💥💛💥💛💥
#relativity falls#relativity falls au#gravity falls#gravity falls au#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls art#gravity falls fandom#candy chiu#dipper pines#gravity falls candy#gravity falls dipper#trans dipper pines#he’s very important to me <3#art#fanart#gf fanart#gf fandom#digital art#procreate#procreate art#citricacidart#I dont think I should tag Candy x Dipper mostly because it was like… a temp fling and not an actual relationship?#idk if anyone wants me tag some kinda ship name just tell me 💥#if you notice any spelling errors; I wrote this all in like 7 hours so no you fucking don’t#cw cursing#cw swearing
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#my art#trans man#transgender#queer#trans guy#trans men#trans rights#anti transmasculinity#transphobia#transandrophobia#transmisandry#that’s why if you look closely with your eyes you’ll see that i don’t even care that much about what word is being used#i just need something specific to describe trans men’s expirience#and which one is more popular so those expiriences will be SEEN#because you can’t just throw it in the general transphobia tag - it will be lost#i don’t care about the origins of a word#i don’t care bad people are using it#i will use every available word#because i want people to hear what trans men have to say
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”—ah. seems like mother goose has been playing around in your egg salad. if you won’t dance to that tune, I got others.”
honestly, the would you kindly scene is whatever to me*, code yellow is the more interesting violation/betrayal of the body because of how beautifully it escalates the Fontaine reveal/betrayal and shows how ugly some of those ‘locks and keys’ that Tenenbaum mentions are. not only have you been a tool in another man’s hand this entire time, it goes deeper. your body is not your own.
*there used to be a meandering thought here about the would you kindly scene, but it was really just talking around the fact that I spent way too many years seeing people discuss it in the most insufferable and reductive ways possible when it’s a combination of three or four other things that make that moment compelling lmao
collage credits: heart one/heart two
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!
#honestly if Fontaine was upfront about wanting Ryan dead I’d have done it after ten minutes of walking around Rapture#I have (squints) somehow two ideas about suchong I want to get out. one more abt atlas and manipulation#there’s a specific kind of family adjacent horror occurring in the text and it’s WILD that suchong is the one we hear Jack refer to#in familial terms while two other men force themselves onto you by appropriating the father role over your body :)#to be clear tho I don’t actually think Fontaine had any familial sentiments towards Jack he’s just occupying Ryan’s space now#bioshock#WHEEZING can you tell that I think every ‘wow a man chooses/a slave obeys is so deep!’ think piece is stupid as hell#thankfully it’s not as prevalent as it was a decade ago but my god people thought it was the height of philosophy for too long#ANYWAY ALL OF THIS TO SAY. there’s a certain kind of trans anxiety/horror in having your body betray you. or generally body#anxiety. but I read a lot about it in a medieval gender context so it’s trans to me. amongst other things.
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i feel like the queer community lost when we started policing labels and making sure everyone used the Correct™ labels instead of letting a person decide what feels right for them
#caique posts#inspired by a post a trans guy made asking if it was okay for him to keep identifying as a lesbian even though he’s now a man#and all the comments telling him no because lesbians can’t be men#and also all the other posts of people asking if they’re ''allowed'' to use certain labels#why do you need permission?#who are you even asking permission from?#we’re not cops#do whatever you want forvever#also inspired by an article in a zine in the 80s/90s of two FtMs in a T4T relationship#one of them described the relationship as being between a butch and his sissy boy#i cannot ever imagine anyone calling themselves that nowadays#because of ''only lesbians can be butches'' and ''sissy is offensive'' discourse#i’m sure there are people out there who would want to describe their relationship like that but don’t feel they’re ''allowed'' to#anyway lots of baby queers are tying themselves in knots trying to figure themselves out#and they’re more concerned with using the Correct™ label instead of the one they feel most comfortable with#yeah i just don’t like it#knowing you’re queer should be a liberating feeling#instead of something anxiety-inducing because you’re worried if you’re using labels wrong
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Trans guys with religious trauma gotta be one of my favorite flavors, I’m gobbling this man up
And yes I’m convinced he smokes. Does he have religious guilt over it? Yes. Do I even know if it was considered bad for a priest to smoke back then? Absolutely not. But he deserves a cigarette after all this shit
#could he technically be trans in the actual story?#no#but we can dream#but seriously#Oliver?#martin kartin Blackwood?#benji from hell followed with us?#such darlings all of them#tbh I don’t really even care about the plot of malevolent#I just want more of my little guys#they’re so tortured and doomed by the narrative /aff#malevolent podcast#malevolent#podcasts#Oliver malevolent#I just spent like five minutes trying to figure out was his last name was so I could tag it#and he just. doesn’t#guys I need to know if anyone has any good last names for this man
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T4T detrans kink not from transphobic trauma but from the longing of feeling desirable when you used to be a girl, when cis guys would want you. when you had long hair and hardly any body hair and straight boys flirted with you.
but you were trans. you felt awkward in that mold of girl and boy. you were probably gay too, and you liked these boys. but not in the same way they liked you, not the same way other girls around you liked boys. and you missed out on a lot of fun experiences growing up because of this
and now you’re on T. and that’s amazing. and maybe cis gay guys are even into you, and that’s cool. but they just… don’t really get you. and you don’t really get them. sometimes you kinda wish you could be that young girl again, and have the guys you’re interested in wanting your attention and putting in the work to have you as their girlfriend. you used to have that, but you missed out on those opportunities
and let’s say you try to hook up with straight guys. the problem is. not that many are gonna be into you, you’re too hairy, too many, voice too deep, and even if they are okay with that they just wanna fetishize your trans body. they’re not seeing you how you want to be seen. you want to be GIRL. you want to be feminine again and wanted
but with a trans guy? happily seeing you as a girl? seeing right through you, loving those curves and your soft skin and recognizing the girl underneath your transition? he understands and he gets it. and you see HIM how he needs to be seen. as the young man going after girls like he never got to when he was young before his transition. because cis girls just don’t get it. but you get it.
#detrans kink#detranskink#ftm misgendering#ftm girl#ANYONE ELSE OR JUST ME????#like i understand liking this kink because you have trauma but#I don’t have that experience I’ve never been bothered when cis society misgenders me#or puts me down or puts me through that sexism bullshit and wants me to stop transitioning#I miss the girlhood. I miss what I didn’t get to have because I was an akward trans kid#I miss the boys o didn’t get to date because something felt off#and I miss the girls I never got to date because I wasn’t seen as a boy#closest I had was middle school lesbian dating#but even then it wasn’t quite right
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Draxum somehow salvaged some of his notes and papers from when he first acquired the turtles, and out of “the goodness of his heart” (aka because Mikey begged him nonstop for a solid three hours) Draxum saw it fit to give them each their corresponding paper.
They were enlightening, to a degree, though it was kinda crazy seeing baby versions of their pre-mutation selves stapled to the corner of the paper.
When Leo got his paper, he grinned at his “super cute baby self” and shifted his eyes to read up a little.
Sure, there was the expected long drawn out essay about his role and place in regard to “world domination” or whatever that Leo skimmed over and proceeded to ignore thanks to the excess of way too big words, but what really caught Leo’s eye was the basic description of himself at the top of the papers.
There was his species, what seemed to be a number (either 2 or 3, Leo wasn’t sure since the bottom was burned a bit), his size (tiny!!), and then, right below those…
‘SEX: F’
…Leo blinked. Then blinked again.
“Draxum.” He said, getting his brothers’ attention.
At the lack of response, he looked up.
“Draxum.” The sheep Yokai walked away faster. “DRAXUM.” He was jogging now. “DRAXUM WHY DOES IT SAY ‘F’?!”
Draxum was booking it away from them as Leo gave chase, shouting about how “IT EXPLAINS A LOT BUT I NEED SOME ANSWERS! DRAXUM! DON’T YOU RUN AWAY I JUST WANNA TALK-“
There was flashes of blue light, then silence.
The others stood there, wondering what just happened before shrugging it off and using their baby photos to go and bribe Splinter with.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#trans leo#rise leo#I don’t know why I wrote this I just wanted more trans leo#plus I think the boys deserve to have photos of their derpy turtle selves#when Leo goes back to his paper he’s then like wait I was just a turtle then how is turtle me smiling#I am once again pushing the agenda of Leo starting as a female baby turtle but easily passing as masc due to Lou Jitsu’s DNA#it makes so much sense tooooo much sense#trans leonardo
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I figured out how to make him more obviously a deer, probably. hopefully it’s successful.
#I don’t know I’m queuing this at 5am. I’m too tired to know anything#white tailed deer#artistic nude#nude art#trans art#self harm tw#it’s just carved lines in clay but I want to be sure to tag it#pottery#ceramics#ceramic art#carving#underglaze painting#little dudes#sculptural#sculpture#greenware
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i’ve been working my way through a list of movies with trans men in them, and while i haven’t seen enough to really call this a pattern, i can’t help but notice that the movies i’ve watched so far portray trans men in a very particular way.
specifically, all of the trans guys are dicks.
the movies have decided that trans manhood is such a horrible, miserable existence that it leaves trans men as horrible and miserable people, and that because we’re so tortured, we must lash out and take it out on the people around us.
maybe the characters are mean because they’re dysphoric. maybe they’re trying to act the way they think real men act. maybe they’re trying to keep people away because they’ve been hurt before. maybe they’re being actively hurt by the countless transphobes in the movie and trying to protect themselves. the reason doesn’t actually matter — it changes from movie to movie and scene to scene. but no matter what the situation is, the movies want us to know that a trans man would react to that situation by being an asshole to everyone around him.
sure, the characters are somewhat humanized by the fact that we know why they’re so mean, but it’s clearly not meant to be something we see as justified. we’re supposed to pity them, if anything, not actually understand them.
and don’t get me wrong — i fully support trans men’s wrongs. i think we should be allowed to be angry and bitter and unpleasant. but i think we should be allowed to be happy too, and it really rubs me the wrong way that these trans men only seem to be allowed happiness when a cis person falls in love with them (or, in one case, after top surgery magically fixes them).
it sort of feels like the writers heard the word dysphoria and thought it must just be a synonym for hysteria.
#im not listing the specific movies bc i did actually like them#so i don’t want to sound like im shitting in the few movies with trans man protagonists out there#i just couldn’t help but be struck by how i picked three random movies from my list#and they all played into this same portrayal of trans men#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia
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