#but I just feel like so much has been lost over the years so

[lady-iskra]

I can’t get over the fact that Bryke decided Katara should believe she deserves no thanks in The Promise. I mean, they literally made her feel guilty for being uncomfortable spending the night with her bfs groupies fangirls.

I’ve seen people claim that Aang was oblivious to this. Don’t they get what this is about? His obliviousness doesn’t even matter. Katara's feelings are valid no matter what, and talking about it would have been the only healthy thing to do.

And don’t get me started on those who insist that this shows how both of them had grown since Book 1... This is no growth to me. It seems like Katara, who has always been vocal about her feelings, learned in this one year of her relationship to repress them instead. Either to avoid conflict altogether or because she's been told to 'control herself'. And unfortunately, this is the reality for so many women in RL.

If this is Bryke’s idea of a healthy relationship, I’m actually so glad that Zutara isn’t canon. They could’ve easily made up for the forced K@taang endgame in ATLA by showing a relationship where both sides are validated equally, but instead we got this bs.

If this wasn’t already a bad enough example for girls and young women of what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like, Bryke took it even further: They made the very girls who openly flirted with Aang in front of his girlfriend the official Air Acolytes. In other words, unless Katara and Aang are off on their next adventure, they are surrounded by them almost 24/7.

Yeah, that’s right. Just keep smiling, Master Katara Avatar’s girl.

I mean, what does her life look like surrounded by those Aang-worshiping girls and her boyfriend, who remains oblivious? Constantly smiling, acting as though she doesn't hear the obvious advances happening right in front of her? Ignoring the catty comments directed at her by some of them? And, in general, adjusting to her boyfriend's—later, husband's—life while forgetting her own ambitions? Now, we could argue that she wouldn't stay with Aang if she eventually realizes that she has put up with too much and lost herself. But, I think, we all know that lifelong relationships like this exist in RL.

[lucysarah-c]

I'll just say, I may be here posting about Mounting Spring, asks etc... But I'm cooking... I'm cooking something everyone asked me for lol

“I like this! This 3D flower pattern is so on trend right now.”

Levi’s eyes were glued to the screen as a freshly painted nail was shown up close.

“Oh, hi! Thank you,” her voice popped up again, and like an animal in pure confusion, he tilted his head to the side.

What are those things popping up? He was completely lost.

“Isn’t it too late for coffee?” she read aloud before grabbing her cup and taking a sip from the straw. “There’s no such thing as too much black or too late for coffee. Plus, it’s girls’ night! What’s a girls’ night without iced coffee or a glass of wine?”

This feels wrong now, Levi thought, taking a sip of his own drink, lazily sprawled on his bed. But when she started showing off her pajamas, that’s when he lost it.

Holy shit... it’s the little shorts doing it for me.

“This is why kids these days have their eyes glued to this shit,” he muttered, almost offended— as if his own mouth wasn’t slightly open and his eyes weren’t stuck to the screen as she vibed to the song playing in the background.

“Have you ever tried… this one?” She winked at the camera, arm in the air, hips moving in a way that Levi quickly guessed was meant to simulate riding. Over the kitchen island.

…I’m definitely not better than a 12-year-old boy.

The chat flooded with messages about how much they loved the song.

Whose song is this?

“Oh! I love that! Ugh, my heart is divided, I want all of them to win! Birds of a Feather is so good, but Hot to Go?” she gushed, listing more names Levi didn’t recognize.

Who are those?

“And the dance?”

What trend? What song? What dance?

Levi felt lost. Completely lost.

“Oh, thank you for the donation! Here, a heart for you!”

She pressed two fingers together in the shape of a heart. Levi tilted his head again, frowning.

How the hell is that a heart?

But before he could keep questioning his entire existence—or, perhaps, his age—her expression shifted. The usual bright smile faded as she read something from the chat.

“Look, if you’ve got a problem with me, just keep scrolling, buddy. Can an admin ban him from the stream, please?”

That made Levi do the exact opposite. He scrolled up through the rapidly moving chat until he found the comment in question. Some idiot had said she owed it to him if something happened because of what she was wearing and doing on screen.

“What’s your fucking problem, dude?” Levi whispered, clicking his tongue. “If a woman has never even touched you, don’t say it so loudly.”

His fingers moved on their own, pressing the guy’s username, looking for a way to reply—until he suddenly let the phone drop onto his chest and stared at the ceiling.

“I need to calm down,” he muttered. Being in this live stream was already too much for him. Getting into an online argument was not the way to go.

How long had he been watching? He wasn’t sure. But in that time, he’d learned that ASMR meant tapping on objects with freshly done nails and whispering, that people voted on live which designs she should do next, and… a whole lot more.

“Say you can’t sleep, baby, I know. That’s me, espresso…”

She sang along to the music, and he felt hypnotized.

“…Did I just spend two hours of my life on this?”

The “Love ya!” came through the speakers as she blew a final kiss before ending the live.

“For fuck’s sake…” Levi muttered, almost offended. “You can’t be that stupidly cute.”

Maybe pop songs were popular for a reason. Maybe that’s why Levi never downloaded any apps on his phone or used it for anything beyond strictly necessary texts. Because explain to him why the hell he was humming at work.

“Since when do you know Sabrina Carpenter?”

Hange appeared out of nowhere, catching him off guard.

Levi had to come up with an excuse. Fast.

“What? Is it illegal for me to know new songs?”

“No…” Hange dragged the word out, squinting at him in suspicion. “But since when do you?”

“Give me a break. I’m not that old. I can get to know new artists,” he brushed it off while brewing himself a tea.

Hange let it slide, but their mind was already working, scheming. They kept talking, mostly about work. But as Levi finished his tea and was ready to leave, Hange casually dropped:

“Espresso?”

Levi frowned. “What?”

Hange repeated the question immediately, as if he hadn’t heard them the first time. But of course, he had.

“Fuck no. You know I hate coffee. Black tea,” he grumbled.

To his shock, Hange chuckled, shaking their head, biting their lip as they held back a knowing smile.

“Aww, Shortie… don’t give yourself away.”

“Huh?”

“Espresso. That’s the song you were humming.” Their grin widened. “I’m starting to think you’re not just listening to new artists—you’re watching new people.”

Levi stiffened.

And for the first time, he couldn’t hide the subtle embarrassed blush creeping up his face.

“Get off my ass,” he muttered, already walking away.

But Hange wasn’t done.

“And I think it might be Erwin’s cute little influencer friend!”

I won't say anything else, let the readers figure it out.

[hoonieyun]

a lovesick girl's guide to heartbreak

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ ex!heeseung x reader hell is not the same without you... summary: you thought everything was going well 3 months after your breakup with your ex-boyfriend!heeseung until you realized that maybe you miss him more than you hated being with him.

warnings: profanity, toxic relationships, morally grey characters, huge red flags in dating, consensual skinship, kissing, overall 18+ wc: 2332

something was missing, like there was a looming feeling that there was something absent from your daily life and as hard as you tried to push down that feeling and act like it wasn’t there; it was all your mind drifted off to. 

the missing thing in question? heeseung. 

your boyfriend of 2 years.. ex-boyfriend that is. the two of you had broken up just a few months ago and since that day you haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. sure a lot of the thoughts that surrounded heeseung that swam in your mind were negative and left a sour taste on your tongue, but then it would lead to you thinking about all of the sweet things he’d do to make up for the bitterness he put you through. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 

“why can’t you just listen to me?” you shouted from the top of your lungs as heeseung rolled his eyes with an aggravated sigh. “i’d listen to you if you weren’t acting like this! you’re so emotional!” he yelled back. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 

several memories replayed in your head involving heeseung, you wished you didn’t have to think about it but after you left him it felt like that was what was left of you. like you were no longer the person that you were when you were with heeseung. like he took something with him when you broke up and has refused to give it back. 

you just weren’t sure what it was. 

it shouldn’t be like this but you’re left in this limbo of uncertainty and heeseung was the only way of adding any solace or clarity, but he was no longer there. you hadn’t seen him since that night, broken dishes, cracked picture frames, and a hole in your chest where your heart is supposed to be. your relationship with heeseung started off how a lot of relationships start, it was great. he was sweet and so were you, your love overflowed into one another and it felt like everything was sunshine and rainbows and then one day, it wasn’t. you were spending nights crying yourself to sleep while heeseung would leave you to cry because he didn’t want to deal with the emotional mess that you were and still are. 

that’s how your breakup went, you cried, you both yelled, and heeseung walked away. it was like a routine, a deadly cycle that neither of you could get out of until three months ago. this cycle was endless and exhausting yet it was all that you knew. as fucked up as it sounds, you found comfort knowing that you had heeseung on your side even if it didn’t seem like it. 

even when he would walk away from you…

even when you felt like he was ignoring you to prove a point…

even when it felt like you were the one person that he hated most in this world…

no matter what, it felt like heeseung was always by your side. like a shadow that you couldn’t feel but was always there. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 

your phone sat in your trembling hands as you contemplated on whether or not you should hit the send button. it was like the button on your phone had a strong gravitational pull and you found your thumb hovering over the button, the tiniest sliver of space between the skin of your thumb and the glass screen of your phone. 

there wasn’t even any time to process your final thoughts before your thumb was making contact with the cold glass and the familiar sound of the text being sent rings throughout your bedroom, much louder than it should’ve sounded. 

like it was an echo that rang in the room as a reminder of the decision you’ve just made. 

hi hee.. i dont even know why i’m sending this im just so lost. i didnt ever think that i would be missing you the way i do right now but you’re all ive been thinking about the last few months.  i miss the way you hugged me when i would cry.. granted i’d be crying because of you.  i miss when you would whisper sweet things into my ear when my brain got too loud and would lead to arguments.  i just miss you so much and you might not even respond to this but i just.. i miss you..

whether it was a good or bad decision however, was still out for debate. 

surprisingly enough, another familiar sound rings throughout your room, indicating that you have received a text message. 

hey pretty girl. i’m so happy to hear from you, can i come over?

it was short but definitely effective because you were responding in seconds and telling him that you’d leave the door unlocked to which he tells you that he still has a copy of your house key and would be there in no time. 

your heart was pounding a lot harder than moments before, like you had just put yourself in a life or death situation and in a lot of ways you did. death more than life. being with heeseung felt like two things, heaven and hell. it was either bliss or chaos whenever you were with him and neither heaven or hell was the same without him. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 

you had decided to change into your pajamas that just happened to be heeseung’s favorite. a pair of silk pajamas that barely left any imagination of what you looked like underneath; hence why it was his favorite. you’re brought out of your thoughts when you hear a knock on your bedroom door as it slightly creaks open, revealing heeseung who looked like he was going through just as much as you were. 

it was slightly comforting to know that in the time you were broken up until now, you weren’t the only one suffering. 

you muttered a whispered “hi” as he walked towards your figure sitting on the bed. the closer heeseung got the more visible his eyebags were. he looked like he hadn’t slept in days, his hair a mess, and he was wearing the same hoodie that he was wearing when you told him to “get the fuck out i fucking hate you” all those months ago. 

“hi, pretty girl. are you ok?” he asks, even though you both knew that you were the furthest from “okay”. 

he stands right in front of you and gently cups your face to look up at him, his touch instantly brings you warmth and a sense of comfort that you wouldn’t associate with him, not for the last year at least. 

“hee… i miss you.. but-” you begin to say and he interrupts you by softly rubbing your cheek with his thumb. a simple action that brings chills down your spine as you think about all of the other times he soothed your mind with that gesture. melting into his touch wasn’t something you weren’t accustomed to but this all felt so foreign and uncertain even if you knew where it was going. 

you were now back to the cycle that you were once in. 

“but?” he says, squatting down so that you two were somewhat on the same level. 

“i don’t know if it’s a good idea to want you. i miss you everyday that you’re gone but it doesn’t bring comfort knowing how much you hurt me..” a hiccup slips past your lips as you speak and heeseung is finally seeing what he’s done. you looked utterly broken and he knew it was because of him. his pretty girl that he loved so much was shattered and ruined because of him and he wished that he had realized it sooner. 

“baby.. shh.. its okay.” heeseungs says, pulling you into his arms as you cry into his chest. his hoodie getting soaked as you let out your emotions that he shamed you for in the past. “everything is okay, baby..” hee coos, rubbing the back of your head gently as you wrap your arms around him. 

if heeseung was being honest, he didn’t know what to do in this situation and it was only making him realize further how shitty he was. he barely knows how to comfort the girl he loved so much and it was breaking his heart. it may seem selfish that he was reveling in his own discernment and that he’s trying to wrap his head around his past mistakes instead of the one currently crying in his lap. 

“i’m sorry, yn.. i’m sorry, please stop crying, baby..” he whispers into your ear, hugging you even tighter than before as if you were going to slip away from his grasp any second now. 

he doesn’t know what to do now and he didn’t then. 

it was like you guys had each other wrapped around one another’s finger, knowing that one way or the other, one of you would crawl back and start the cycle all over again no matter how many times you may think it’s finally over. 

the two of you stayed that way for one moment, in one another’s embrace, your heartbeats syncing up with one another and for once in a long time; your hearts were in the same place. you were finally on the same page when it came to your love for each other even if it meant being in a place of uncertainty… you were sure of one thing, the love you had for each other, if you could even call it that, was something you couldn’t lose. 

“heeseung.. will you stay?” coming out of your lips as you slightly pull away from him, your eyes originally intending to land on his doe eyes but instead they fall onto his plump lips that glistened just the right amount from the small light in your bedroom. “i’ll stay only if you want me to.” he responds and you nod eagerly, like it was the only thing you could want. 

and in a lot of ways, it was. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 

that night you slept in heeseung’s arms, a place you once vowed to never return to but as a cycle rounds itself, you found that his embrace was the place you were the most familiar with even if loving heeseung only brought uncertainty and a sense of unfamiliarity that brought you so much dread that you never know if the world you were living in was a heaven that wasn’t anything like you expected or a hell that was much worse than the words you’d hear on a sunday morning. 

however, no matter where you were; you wanted heeseung to be there because none of it would be the same without him. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 

“good morning, pretty girl.” heeseung says, his voice was low and a bit raspy as he pulled himself up from laying next to you. you stirred as he readjusts himself, turning to face him and he’s got a smile on his face you haven’t seen in a while. a smile you loved so much and the longer the two of you were together… it began to fade away. it only appeared for special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries, then one day; heeseung just never smiled the same way ever again. 

you sat up, wrapping your blanket around yourself as you situated yourself in front of heeseung who did the same. “hee.. what are we doing?” you asked, the events of last night replaying in your head as you recall crying into heeseung’s chest and him trying his best to comfort you. 

“whatever you want, my love.” heeseung was good at that. saying all the right things to make it seem like everything was just that, alright. he would soothe your worries with empty promises, a soft rub on your back, and a gentle kiss on your lips. 

a kiss… something you craved from heeseung. 

“we’re too toxic for each other… but i don’t think i ever want to lose you. you’re all i’ve ever known and i feel even more lost when i’m without you. there’s so many signs that tell me to turn around, to stop, that this is just a dead end, but if i just keep ignoring the signs– it always leads me back to you. 

it always leads back to you, hee.. 

i don’t ever want to lose you but… can we even do this without falling apart?” 

heeseung looks at you momentarily, eyes flickering from your own eyes to your lips, something he also craved to feel. 

“you’ll never lose me, not even if you push me away… i’ll always pull you back no matter what. i don’t care what anyone says, they don’t know us like we know each other. the way i know your brain and body… and even soul. 

you’re mine and i’m yours, even if it destroys us.” heeseung’s face has gotten a lot closer with each word he speaks, nose slightly grazing yours. 

“i love you, ok?” he says and after a long time, you believe it. like he was willing to fix up any of the issues you two had if it meant that he could hold you every night as the two of you drift off to sleep. your dreams being filled with your happiest moments with each other instead of the nightmare of losing one another. 

you jump onto heeseung’s lap to which startles him at first but your hear his low chuckle in your ear as he embraces you in his arms. you would’ve said i love you back but you weren’t sure if you would mean it or if it would even change anything. 

you guess you’ll just have to see in a few weeks to know if things have changed and if the cycle is finally broken. your life was nothing without heeseung and whether or not you loved him was uncertain– you did, however, know that nothing was the same without him.  

"toxic" meovv the usage of song lyrics is credited to the artists above

copyright 2024 - present © hoonieyun all rights reserved

all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.

if you enjoyed reading this please consider reblogging and following <3

heart not broken enough? let's try again... ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

ᡣ•.•𐭩♡ @pagemiah @jiiyen @jnysaln @xh01bri @rairaiblog @laurradoesloveu @17ericas @manaah02 @heeseung64 @zorange13 @firstclassjaylee @leipforggy

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[akashirl]

this is the part where i use tumblr as a diary. consider this whatever you'd like but i need to get this off of my chest.

i love sei so much. so, so much. it's immeasurable. no matter how happy or sad i am, no matter how strong or apathetic my feelings are, there is always warmth in my heart caused by him. it's a comforting feeling, knowing that he's here for me. even in his own, different way, we managed to be together in this universe, even if distant.

he just makes my heart flutter like i'm a little kid receiving a letter on valentine's day...everytime i look at him, i feel nervous due to unexplainable reasons. trust me, i don't know what it is either. is it because of my feelings for him or am i just getting lost in his eyes, once again?

love is a beautiful feeling. he reminds me of such everyday. he is everywhere, he is everything i see. all of my daily experiences, completely dominated by my occurring thoughts of him. sei is always present, one way or another.

you may find this a little bit unhealthy but it really isn't. when i was at my worst, he motivated me to become who i am today. i am still recovering, that is true, and i won't say that he saved me -- because as much as it looks like, he didn't. i was the one who saved myself, with him by my side, supporting me unconditionally. that is what true love feels like. i will never get to thank him enough for his presence in my life. it won't ever be enough.

and it's not like there isn't a pattern. in every room i'm in, in every media i consume, in every place my mind takes me, in every corner of my head -- he is there. i find him, over and over again. he truly is my soulmate. that much i know it's true.

he just makes me so happy and contributes to my mood more than anyone else in the world.

watching him grow as a person and become who he is today made me realize just how much i love him. even if he feels undeserving of love after his defeat -- even if he blames himself for not trying his best, even if he is still dwelling on his lost childhood and teenage years. i will be there. i will always be there.

i've said this before but it all comes down to how warm he makes my chest feel. it's the best feeling in the world - love. and being with someone who you care for and understand more than anyone else...it's priceless.

i was going to say that i am glad i found him but the truth is that we found eachother. the red string of fate put the both of us on a heart shaped lock, unable to escape -- not that i'd ever want to.

i just want to hold him in my arms and tell him that everything is going to be okay. that there's more to life than loss and unfortunate events. that he's more than a body, that he's so much more than the storm inside of his head, that he's so much more than a young boy inside a big house. i want to see him happy, i want to see him enjoying life to the fullest, something he hasn't been able to do. i want to see him smile. i want to let him know that perfection is so, so subjective -- and that in my eyes, all of him is perfect. cracked, broken, shattered, screwn over again and again -- dealt with as if he was nothing but a tool to success...i want him to know that he's more, so much more than that.

i want to see it in his eyes that he's content. sei deserves all the love this world has to offer, and i have the entire love of the world stored inside my heart.

loving him feels like having a taste of the sweetest cloud as well as feeling a spear cross your heart. it's an uncertainty how every day passes by -- ruled by thoughts of him. i miss his presence, his eyes, his touch, him. more than anything in this world...

i mean, how could you not adore such a kind soul? there is so much of him to love. sei is so deserving of it. love is not earned; but if it was, you can bet he'd be the absolute winner.

i don't say the word "love" a lot due to past traumas but there is no other word capable of explaining the fluttering feeling in my chest. and still, the word does not feel strong enough. i hope i make sense.

i just love him so, so much. it's a delight having him in my life, even if we have to be apart.

sei really is my safe place. my one and only. my love is immeasurable and my heart is sinking. in another life, you and i will be reunited. i just know it. you were made for me -- just like i was born to meet you.

♡

i doubt anyone has read this but if you did, i apologize. i just needed to talk about this somewhere and tumblr seemed like the perfect place. i just couldn't keep it in.

[blurrilines]

Alright, it’s time I discuss Star Sapphire Bernard and why I think he would legitimately be a good fit for becoming a ring wearer (aka Blurri read a theory book on love and has a lot of feelings about Bernard Dowd and now the Star Sapphires could be written moving forward)

First let’s establish what makes a Star Sapphire chosen by the Star Sapphire Ring (bear in mind I am not a full expert and I understand that the Star Sapphire Corps have changed over time so I’ll try to be as up to date on their lore as possible). Star Sapphires are empowered by Love the way Green Lanterns are empowered by Willpower. They are typically portrayed as women scorned or someone who lost someone they love, and this event is what lead them to obtain their abilities, aka when the ring chose them and They chose to become a Star Sapphire, aka fight fear and hatred and give love.

However, It’s not exclusive to these events taking place the same way wearing a Star Sapphire ring isn’t exclusive to women, it’s just usually the case we see in most stories. This emphasis on choice is where I’m reminded of Bernard.

Bernard Dowd is someone who’s been hurt, both in a very literal, physical sense, as well as an emotional and spiritual one. Starting with the obvious Bernard was in a pain cult, where literal beatings were used to achieve “enlightenment” and so on, though for Bernard it was clearly something he felt he deserved, much like eventually becoming the cults sacrifice, which Tim fortunately intervened in. However, despite being rejected by his parents after coming to terms with not being straight and not having seen Tim in years, not to mention being deep in the cult that convinces him that beating will make the pain in his heart stop, he chooses to reconnect with Tim. And when freed from the cult’s sacrificial alter, he fights by Tim’s side to free not only himself from the cult but the others they indoctrinated.

Later we see this theme continue with Bernard talking about how he wouldn’t reject his parents if they decided to change their tune and treat him like their son again, even if it would be more than understandable for him not to. He chooses to see them as people who can change, and to love them despite the pain they’ve caused him, while still keeping his distance and not caving to their manipulation or demands. Bernard is someone who has been shown, in multiple ways, to already align with the Star Sapphire’s foundations of choosing to give love and fight against hatred - even when it would be the arguably easier option.

There’s also the fact that at this point there are currently no male Star Sapphires in their ranks, only male Lanterns who’ve briefly worn the ring. This would leave Bernard in a unique position as the only known male Star Sapphire, leaving for a new and interesting story to be told for DC. Bernard is also a character criticized at times for “only being a love interest” and being created as a supporting character to Tim, as was the case when he first debuted Pre-Rebirth. Turning that trope on its head by making Bernard a being literally giving super powers from the love he has, for Tim or otherwise, would be dope as hell imo, but that might just be me.

Love is sometimes defined as the choice to extend oneself to nurture another or your own spiritual growth (go read all about love by bell hooks for more on that). It is an action and a decision made the same as activating one’s willpower to achieve their goals. I think with this specification in mind we see how Bernard embodies this choice and how it could lead to him becoming a powerful member of the Star Sapphire Corps.

TLDR; Bernard is a character who is shown to already align with the core of what a Star Sapphire is (choosing love and gaining power from it) and it’d be cool if DC gave him a ring.

[blouisparadise]

There were some amazing bottom Louis fics posted or completed during the month of January. We really hope you enjoy this list and show these fics love. Happy reading!

1) Lucky Number Nine | Not Rated | 2,706 words

“Elle, I only ever wanted to be two things when I got older, Hot as shit and a criminal.” “Why a criminal?” She asks. “Well, I-” Louis is cut off by a ping on his phone. He looks down at it and reads it. “Shit, Shit, Shit! Elle, hand me my bag please and spritz me. The car is here!” She does just that, giving him four spritz of their shared floral VS perfume. Louis leaves and walks downstairs to find a very nice and very expensive car. He smiles wide and gets in eagerly. The driver greets him and hands him a small bottle of Fireball. What?

2) I Miss You, I'm Sorry | Explicit | 2,871 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Zayn Malik.  

Louis spends some time with zayn in his hotel room after his LA show. they smoke. they fuck.

3) What A Life We'd Have (I've Got So Much To Give) | Explicit | 3,610 words

They made a silly bet—really, it was ridiculous. Harry had bet Louis he couldn’t learn how to drive Delilah, his 18-wheeler because of the gear shift, so Louis bet him he couldn't learn how to give a good massage. The loser has to do the dishes and laundry for two weeks and well—here they are.

4) The Uni Party | Mature | 10,601 words

“What’s the point of going to a party sober?” he’d said earlier, tugging Harry by the hand into the kitchen of their flat. Harry had rolled his eyes, but he didn’t argue, watching as Louis lined up the tequila shots like he was about to take part in an Olympic event.

5) Time It Right, Ensure the Passage of Youth Bids Farewell | Mature | 12,202 words

Harry and Louis join a frat, and they are like, totally not into each other like that!

6) His Comet | Not Rated | 14,390 words

Everyone, and everything has an origin story; something that defined the way they are now, how they act, and the things they do. There's also an ending to every story, but what about the inbetween? The things in the middle that we don't know about?

7) Pathos | Mature | 26,566 words

In 1760s London, amidst the grandeur of gilded estates and the shadowy intrigues of high society, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are heirs to two of the city's most esteemed families. To the outside world, Harry and Louis present a complicated relationship-a bond that borders on disdain, peppered with moments of what could pass as brotherly camaraderie. Yet, behind closed doors, their connection defies the strict conventions of their world. Beneath the facade of disdain lies an undeniable bond, forbidden and fraught with danger.

8) Leave The Light On (I’m Coming Home) | Explicit | 42,793 words

In Louis’ twenty-two years of life, she had never questioned her sexuality. Up until now she had only ever been with boys and never had second thoughts about it. Although, nothing had ever given her a reason to. That is, until she met Harry.

9) Fragments of Forgotten Lives | Explicit | 160,960 words

Louis has been missing for over a year, but the first thing he remembers is waking up just a few weeks ago. Everything before that is a blur - no memory of where he’s been or who he was. Now, trying to rebuild his life in Manchester, he finds solace in therapy and a deepening connection with a fellow survivor. When Harry, a stranger to Louis but someone from his forgotten past, recognises him on the street, everything shifts. Despite the amnesia, something about Harry feels familiar, like a lifeline. As fragments of his lost memories begin to resurface in vivid, unsettling nightmares, Louis clings to the comfort Harry brings. Together, they embark on a journey to uncover the truth of his missing year, unlocking hidden secrets, unspoken bonds, and a past that refuses to stay buried.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[enniewritesathing]

Hi, hello, no time no see 👋

This year, I told myself that I was gonna try and put out more poses than I have recently and what better place than to start with remaking my first (big) pose pack -- The Cuddle Sutra. For a minute, I've been wanting to go back and revisit this now that I have a way better handling on making poses (and also with a new rig). Plus, wanted to get the first part out before Valentine's ^^;

Besides, tumblr has very erroneously deleted this and the 3rd part of the series, so they're kind of lost (but they are still in my SFS folder as I don't delete anything) but it is fun to see the comparison and improvements.

(also I don't know why the cat is just there staring at the wall... she's got a lot and nothing going on in her pretty little cat head.)

How many poses?

15! Labeled A/B.

What do you need?

Any Bed!

Notes:

The Eye Bug. Yes, that's still a thing unfortunately -- unless you haven't updated your game before the Lovestruck patch or you have other methods means to avoid this. It's been 7 months at this point >(

There's gonna be some degree of clipping. They're both masc framed and John (the long haired one) is a little meaty (it's Winter in my game and he always packs on 10lbs exactly, that's just A Werewolf thing with him--) with the luumia musclar top (otherwise, he is lean).

I would say that if your sim has a (sizable rack), they'd be better off in the "A" poses.

Every sim body and combination is different, so if there's too much clipping for your liking, you're welcome to edit.

just don't claim it as your own i s2g, i will come over to your house and [redacted] your computer

that's about it unless I'm forgetting something 🤔

🛏️Preview Post🛏️

As usual, feel free to ask me questions, tag #enniewritesathing or @ me! I’d love to see your sims! Don’t forget to like/reblog and check out my other poses!

TOU: Have some common sense and decency. I implore you.

🚫No claiming as your own, no editing/reuploading (editing for personal use is very fine), no putting it behind a paywall.

All for the low, low price of ⭐FREE!⭐ (omg! and no ads either? holy shit!)

💤[SimFileShare] // 💤[MediaFire]

Thank you, @alwaysfreecc, @ts4-poses, @sssvitlanz

[acourtofthought]

Can I share a theory? I do think there is foreshadowing for a rejected mate’s storyline but I don’t think it will be Elucien. I think it will be Mor and Eris. That will be the “more to the story” that Eris keeps hinting at. Also the way Mor reacted when Azriel was choking Eris, she was pale and shaking for awhile after. Even though the mating bond can be rejected they still feel it so she felt Eris’ pain in that moment.

I agree. I've had a difficult time imagining any other reason they seem so drawn to the other after all this time, why Eris could scent that Mor had dropped off Cassian, why he left her in the woods for a reason that she's too afraid to admit the truth of.

The most plausible reason (to me) is that they are mates but Eris could sense where Mor's heart lay (that she was not romantically drawn to men) and the only way he could set her free in a way that wouldn't arouse suspicion from his father is to act cold and cruel and leave her in the woods after claiming she was used goods. And that storyline is one where we wouldn't mind seeing two mates not end up together. First we don't know what Eris's sexual orientation is so we aren't sad over the thought of him not ending up with his mate, he's never shown any sort of longing for Mor. Second, while I do think Sarah has written him to be a (sort of) good guy after all, we've spent much of the series feeling a bit put off by him. He was cruel to Lucien UTM, attacked Feyre on the ice, ridiculed Cassian and the IC, etc. and again, while I realize this all may have been a "cover" so that Beron did not suspect him as being anything but a loyal son, Sarah still hasn't confirmed that as the case and after 4 books I don't think anyone truly wants him in a relationship with Mor because of it. I know Azris is a huge ship yet nobody is bothered by the thought of Eris and Mor not ending up together even with all their interactions and I think that would still hold true even if they end up as mates. That really is the best way for Sarah to go about a true rejected mating bond storyline (where the rejection holds) without anyone feeling sad for either of the two that share the bond. Even if Mor and Eris always feel a tug to one another, it still wouldn't be weird because Mor does not prefer females and Eris has shown no romantic interest in Mor so that tug would feel like more of a familial tug than anything. When it comes to Elain and Lucien, we don't have that setup because we know Lucien longs for Elain and we know she is the most beautiful female he's ever seen. We don't know Elain's thoughts on Lucien's looks just yet however Sarah has already give us a setup where it would be odd for Lucien to end up with someone else since Elain has been written as the "peak" for him. Not only because the next best thing is something he already had and lost (Jesminda - who he once believed was his mate) but because his actual mate took his breath away with her beauty and he's spent over two years showing longing and loyalty for only her. That sort of setup does not work well for a rejected mating bond because there really is no true HEA for Lucien and even if Elain went on to have a relationship with someone else, she will always feel a tug to Lucien. Considering she is attracted to men, it's an odd thing to feel that sort of draw to a straight attractive male who you aren't in a relationship with and that makes for an awkward situation for all parties involved.

[ressjeon]

Movie date(s): Kim Taehyung

Genre(s) Eros, Pragma

Row&Seat: Row 4, Seat 3

Menu orders: Fries

I want a PG13 one! Thank you so much! Stay safee.

pairing: ceo!taehyung x wife!reader

summary: your workaholic husband's been out of reach and you're hoping that cooking his favourite food will finally bring him out from his lair.

genre/au: fluff, light angst, suggestive, ceo!au, est. relationship

warnings/content: nothing really? they're just cute and in love ig lol

a/n: i do apologize for this being years late but i hope you've been well! thank you again for requesting back then, i hope you like it :)

☞ part of @btsgoldnetwork’s two hearts, one love valentine’s day event in 2022 🎞💓

🍿 bangtan theatre presents: enough 🍿 purchases for movie tickets and snacks are now closed!

The scene before you is already expected; your husband being holed up in your home office for who knows how many hours now. Being a CEO has never been an easy job and you've accepted long ago that this would be the typical lifestyle you'll have once you marry Kim Taehyung.

However, that doesn't mean that you both never tried to change things up. Making time for each other is the number one thing and changing habits would be the next, in which your husband has yet to come in terms with.

You've just entered Taehyung's study when you notice how he serious he's been working on his current project, his thick brows furrowing in concentration as you approach his form. Your hands slowly land on both his shoulders while you're standing, taking a peak at his monitor from behind him.

"dinner time, tae" you state after a minute of silence.

Your husband tends to get lost in his focus when he has a goal so you waited for a few seconds. His eyes are still fixated on the screen although his shoulders release their tension when you squeezed them, a sign that he knows why you're here.

"i made japchae" you try again, enticing him with his favourite.

Taehyung did smell the delicious scent of savory aroma with hints of sesame oil and sweet vegetables from the kitchen earlier but he just had to get this done. You finish work before him, cooking dinner as soon as you arrive so you both can eat at the same time.

It's one of the changes that you both compromised and he chose not to respond to you when you called him down to eat to maintain his focus.

"hmm"

"love?"

"tae, that's enough, you can continue after eating"

"sorry baby but i really need to finish this for the video conference tomorrow morning. it's for our Singapore branch." he sighs in frustration, not at you but this proposal that he has to submit before midnight.

Taehyung's been feeling awful since he feels like he's taking out his frustrations on you sometimes. He knows you're just concerned because he's been staying up too late just to finish this.

You don't even see your husband every morning but at least he takes the lunch that you prepare for him each night before. Taehyung's known for being hardworking, like how he was in college when you first met. Even so, he's never neglected you in any way so you eventually got used to it.

It doesn't mean that you never cared nor that you're tolerating his unhealthy habit. You just understand him, like how he does understand you. You both have been very open to one another so it didn't get in between you.

People have been telling him that this trait doesn't really matter since he'll inherit their family business anyways. It used to affect Taehyung a lot and it drove him further since he has something to prove.

You both got married after university, right when Taehyung had to take over their family business. Regret never came into your mind when you married him this early because you've been dating for years.

So that means you knew that there's no changing his mind. You take a deep sigh and leaves without a word, sending Taehyung in a little panic that he's upset you. He was about to stand up and follow you downstairs when the doors of his office room opened.

Taehyung wanted to turn around and gauge if you're mad or what. But instead, he continues staring on his laptop; the itch to continue where he left off stopping him from asking you.

Your footsteps near him but you still haven't said a word, just placing the plate beside his computer.

The previous method didn't obviously work on your husband so maybe this one will do.

You approach his form again, planting both your hands on his shoulder and hugged him after.

"want me to give you a massage?" you ask, sounding normal with your lovely tone each time you ask him so Taehyung's a bit suspicious.

He didn't answer right away so you're assuming it's a no. Before you could retreat your arms though, he holds them to stop you from pulling away.

"i'd love to baby, thank you" he smiles even though you can only tell with his bread cheeks.

Taehyung relented because you do seem upset earlier when he didn't want to eat. His tense muscles gradually loosen as your fingers work on his knots, closing his eyes eventually as he scrunches his face. He's beginning to relax fully when you lean in and kiss the side of his bare neck, instantly causing shivers through him.

"japchae's on the table, with your cherry coke" you whisper and Taehyung doesn't want to think that you're teasing him. All he can focus is your breath fanning against his skin, turning his swivel chair around to face you.

Without a word, your husband grabs you towards his lap, his arms hugging around your waist. He looks up at you with pleading eyes, "eat with me?"

"but i already did, earlier when i called you" you reply with no traces of you being upset or accusatory in your tone.

However, it dawns on Taehyung that you ate alone because he ignored you so now he feels bad. You sensed it though, cupping his face right away and kisses him. A form of reassurance that you're not mad at all so he has nothing to worry about.

Taehyung surprised you when he deepens the kiss and you let him, truly missing your husband these days.

"i'm hungry for something else" he rasps but you pretend to be unaffected with how his voice went several levels lower.

"what? you don't want my japchae anymore?"

"of course i do, but you're enough" he smiles, pecking your lips once before he descends to your jaw. You're chuckling in relief as Taehyung continues to leave lingering kisses along your neck, the dinner you prepared for him now long forgotten.

His lips leave your skin for a bit to turn off his monitor while you undo his necktie. Your husband's focus is finally on you, giving you his boxy smile after with genuine admiration in his eyes.

"i love you tae" you sighed before kissing his lips, not letting him respond with how excited you are for what's to come.

[fizzigigsimmer]

The King Unbroken: Part II

I continue to be in a moody place. So sorry to all, you get more of this. For @adelacreations and @dragonflylady77

Steve left his heat den just after sunset, two days earlier than he should. His body feels as if it has been over stretched, the muscle achy and sore as if he’d been through battle even though the only fight he’d had recently is with himself. His jaw hurt the most he thinks, from all the clenching. The broken off section of tree bark that he used to stifle his cries during the worst of it, is riddled with teeth marks but unbroken, so it goes back into a pocket of his tactical pants. Fighting men and scavengers alike know a muffler often comes in handy. 

Before the grey-dogs there were drugs and toys to replace alphas and help ease omega’s heats. Mild heats with minimal side effects had liberated omegas, and Steve’s youth as a twentieth century omega had been defined by independence. Of a degree. It was still expected that he should want to settle down with a nice alpha someday and have pups, but not even his alpha could legally forbid him from having a life and a job outside of that if he wanted it. 

But that was before. Now without heat aids, the days of omegas being chained up and owned like animals are back. They depend more on the pack than anyone for balance, and on alphas in particular to keep from becoming a danger to themselves during their heat. 

Steve’s loath to admit it, but when the need takes hold and his world narrows to pain and fear he actually is little better than an animal. He’s not silly or superstitious enough to believe all the folklore about people turning into wolves – because if they ever did, it’s been hundreds of years since anyone witnessed a true transformation. But the arrival of the grey-dogs has brought out the animal in all of them, changed Steve so much, that he can understand where all those old legends came from.   

He doesn’t go belly down and back arched anymore, because there’s no more soft bed and no one he can trust not to take advantage in order to find relief, even if they offered it. Steve doesn’t purr for anyone who scratches his scalp, like he did for high school friends and girlfriends once upon a time. When the heat takes his mind, it leaves nothing but his ferocious need to keep safe, to survive, until he’s like a werewolf on the full moon, howling and scratching at the walls. He’d attack anyone who was stupid enough to try and offer him comfort at such a time.  Outside of the compound they all make a habit of sleeping in their tactical gear, but Steve’s ruined too many good clothes during heat not to know better by now. 

He’s claggy with sweat and unsteady on his feet like a newborn colt but he pushes through it, assessing the shredded state of his tank and cotton drawers before accepting the underwear is a lost cause. He thinks he can salvage half of the tank top.   

He finished dressing quickly, not wanting to prolong his time bare and vulnerable for a second longer than necessity demands, fetching the big knife from his pack to make strips out of the drawers. It would be better if he could wash them first, but he wasn’t going to waste precious time or water out in the open on something trivial. Slipping the knife into the ready pocket on his combat trousers, Steve check that the velcro straps fastening his nail-bat to his pack weren’t coming undone before hoisting the pack carefully upon his shoulders and setting off.  

He walked a few paces into the woods, away from the opening in the tree and left an old roadside flare glowing on the ground for the others to find, before turning and heading south west as planned. His team is patrolling the perimeter as close as Steve’s heat allowed them to comfortably get, laying low because this is foreign territory. Hargrove’s territory technically, although Steve doubted the alpha had very many people watching this area.  

It’s too far north of his lair for one thing, and it’s too wooded for another which provides ample cover for grey-dogs. If their intel is correct, Hargroves's camp lies north of San Diego somewhere around Kelso, or what used to be. There’s a few hundred miles still between there and here and no good reason for Steve to be so on edge. Nothing besides the paranoia that smelling the sea on the air seems to cause him now.   

The west had fared better than most during the first wave of the grey-dogs. Terrifyingly quick, with rows of curved teeth, tough skin and thick claws, their sole weakness seemed to be their aversion to extreme heat. The casualties in warmer climates had been fewer, and when people had realized that the grey-dogs wouldn’t follow them far into the desert, major colonies had formed there. The usual bullshit had divided them, people fighting over crucial water reserves and other resources, until eventually only a few major populations controlled everything. 

There had been five colonies spread between southern California and the states formerly known as Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico and Colorado of note. Just like everywhere else there were smaller scavenger populations of people scattered throughout the west, but it was those five who drew the territory lines and with whom Steve’s colony had traded essential medicines for citrus, stone, and the crucial mechanical parts that Hawkins needed to keep their facilities running.  

No one had expected that things would change, and that the SoCal colony could fall to a band of raiders – the enemy finding their way somehow around the colony walls and wreaking havoc before the colony could pull itself together to mount a proper defense. The alpha and the pack’s strongest fighters had all been slaughtered before morning, and those people who had not already been killed or fled into the desert had knelt before a new king. Hargrove had declared himself alpha and no one who’d lived to tell about it had argued.  

Taking over such a large compound had provided Hargrove with ample resources to control, but it required a firm hand to keep the conquered in line and prevent a mutiny. It was not surprising that Hargrove spent the majority of his time at SoCal Colony but their spies had reported rumors that not all of Hargrove’s pack had moved into the new compound, that some of them had stayed behind at their old camp in Kelso. Most likely it was to maintain it as an option for retreat if it ever became necessary, but there was talk that Hargrove was keeping something important there. 

Whatever the truth, Kelso was Steve’s destination. Robin, Jonathan and the others had been brave enough to follow him on this suicide mission so he wasn’t about to lead them to certain death by trying to kill Hargrove when he had dozens of fighters at his disposal. They had to draw Billy out, and the obvious answer to that was whatever was so important in Kelso that Billy couldn’t leave behind unguarded. 

He tried to stay alert as he walked, having gotten good at keeping a constant awareness of his surroundings running somewhere in the background of his mind. The last time he’d been caught in a moment of inattention it had nearly cost him an ear, and had ended with dozens of stitches and weeks of painful recovery. The hair on that side of his head no longer grew as thick on account of the scars so he kept the sides around his ears shaved now. Robin said he let the rest of it grow twice as long because he was overcompensating. She was probably right, so sue him, the floof-hawk was one of the few joys Steve had left. 

He wasn’t far from the road when he heard it – the familiar sound of low growls and feet rushing over the dry forest floor. He reached behind himself for the handle of his bat, pulling it free and swinging at the first grey blur that lunged at him from the shadows. Steve had a brief glimpse of tiny rows of glistening teeth as its face began to open up before the blow connected with a wet crunch, batting the squealing creature off to the side. There was no time to check if it was down for good before the next one was coming at him. Steve barely had time to get his bat up, this time only just catching the side of the grey-dog as he danced out of reach, backing up toward the road as his gaze frantically swept around the trees to try and count them all.  

He counted three, including the one he’d already hit. Not so bad. Especially since one had gone straight to cannibalizing the injured. No honor amongst monsters. But that left one still standing, ghoulish grey skin oozing blood from where the nails had torn holes in its side. It reared back on its hind legs and let out an other worldly shriek of rage, enough to chill the blood – but Steve was unphased.  

He tightened his grip on the bat and took a purposeful step forward, boot thudding down hard into the earth as he drew the air into his lungs – and roared. 

“Arrrrrrrrrhhhh!” 

The grey-dog lunged, but he was ready ducking low – they had a tendency to go for the chest and throat – and twisting his torso as he brought the bat up hard. He had only a split second to enjoy the thrill of victory before something struck his side, the last grey-dog colliding so hard against his side that it sent him toppling to the ground. The bat fell from his hand as he fell, and if Steve would have tried to reach for it the fight would have been over. Heart pounding in his chest as the grey face above him opened up into four sections of razor-sharp teeth, Steve reached for the knife in his pocket instead and brought it up into the creatures' throat as its mouth descended.   

When Steve reached the edge of the road splitting the wood, he was grateful to hear the rare sound of a running engine. A dangerous sound, unless you happened to be expecting it.  

The jeep was crawling down the middle of the road ahead of him when Steve stumbled out onto it, Jonathan at the wheel, front beams slicing through the semi-dark that had fallen.  

“A-hoy!” Steve cupped hands over his mouth and called, grimacing as some of the sticky blood coating them smeared on his face. Gross. The jeep came to a stop and Robin’s slender white arm (he could tell by the striped sleeves) jutted out of one of the back windows and waved him forward with an urgency that spoke for itself. Noise and blood were all good ways to attract grey-dogs, and even with an armored jeep there was only so much they could do if a swarm was nearby.  

Steve jogged to catch up, on high alert for more grey-dogs. He didn’t let down his guard even when Jonathan had reached across the seat to open the passenger side door. It wasn’t until he’d closed the heavy door and he heard it lock behind him that Steve finally let himself slump back into the seat with a shuddered breath, closing his eyes in relief. 

“Steve! What happened?” Robin bellowed in his good ear, leaning forward to squeeze her torso between the two front seats.  

“You look like shit, Dude!” Dustin chimed in from where he was squeezed in next to Robin in the prized middle seat. If something got through the window, he wouldn’t die first.  

“Smell like it too.” Lucas grumbled from the window, pinching his nose. From the very back row Gabe, Eleven and Jonathan’s younger brother Will stared ahead with uncertain gazes. 

“Got ambushed by a pack of grey-dogs,” Steve explained nudging Robin’s concerned face out of his with his elbow. “But I handled it. Relax, would you.” She rolled her eyes but sat back with a sigh as Jonathan started up the jeep again.  

“Excuse me for worrying Your Highness, when you left the den two days earlier than scheduled. What gives?” 

“We don’t know how much longer Hargrove will be in SoCal, that’s what gives.” Jonathan guessed, his eyes straying from the road just long enough to meet Steve’s.  

Steve nodded in affirmation and Jonathan’s lips tightened in something close to disapproval but he said nothing. Regardless of what he thought of Steve’s choices – he got it. But after what had happened to his mom Steve had no doubt he would. 

“We can’t afford to lose any more time than we already have.” he said, ignoring the worry clinging to all of their scents. The air was thick with it. 

“And you’re sure the heat’s broken?” Robin pressed, “You’re not going to have a flare up an hour from now an get yourself killed?” 

“You know what my heats are like. I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you if it hadn’t.” he reassured her, but even still she continued to glare at him for what felt like forever, until she finally relented with a small nod.  

“Fine. But can we at least crack open a window? You really do reek.” 

“Not till we’re out of the woods.” She groaned when Jonathan shot her down. The jeep was military grade and the windows bullet resistant, but that didn’t mean they were impenetrable and trees could hide more than just grey-dogs.   

“This is the perfect spot for a raid.” Will mused from the back and Jonathan raised his head to catch his eye in the rearview. 

“Says the raider.” 

Steve’s mouth twitched into a smile, thinking that it took one to know one. 

[Link to Part One]

[mysteryhackin]

Stanuary Week 4: Healing

Gosh it's the end of Stanuary! It went by so quickly- there are so many stories I need to catch up on, and so many awesome pieces that were made! Thank you so much @stanuary for making the worst month of the year the best!

Without any further ado, here is Stanuary Week Four: Healing (just kidding; a little more ado- this one is slightly more violent than usual because, y’know, Stan gets hurt)

Stan has been through a lot in his life, and he has the injuries to show for it. Here are some stories about five of those injuries- and one about healing.

Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey; 1960-something

Ford whooped from the sand below. “That’s the highest you’ve climbed yet, Stanley!” he shouted excitedly. “I think you’re going to make it!”  Stan grinned his gap-tooth grin despite the struggle he was facing to not slide down the mast of the old boat they were restoring.  The brothers had been trying to get up to the crow’s nest for a month now, and after splinters and sunburn and sweat, it looked like Stan was finally going to reach it. 

The encouraging cheers from his twin gave him the strength to keep shimmying up the mast, even though his arms were starting to feel like jello and the sun seemed to be the hottest it had ever been.  But Ford thought he could do it, and he was never wrong.

His hands touched the top of the crow’s nest as Ford went wild below him, and with one last heave he hauled himself over the railing to stand and look at the view-

When the rotten wood below his feet gave way, sending him plummeting to the deck of the boat.

Pain shot through his right arm as he landed on his side, and he automatically clutched his right elbow to get it to stop. The sun was soon blocked out by his brother’s face hovering over him, and Stan realized Ford was saying his name over and over again.

“Cut it out, Sixer, I’m fine,” Stan said, but the tears coming out of his eyes made his voice crack, and he shut his mouth to keep from sobbing.

“Let me look at your arm,” Ford said, and even though he didn’t want to, Stan let go of his elbow so his brother could inspect it.

He yelped at the first touch of Ford’s hand, and turned away so his brother wouldn’t see him cry.  “I think you broke your elbow,” Ford said, his voice drenched with worry.  “You’ll have to wear a cast for the rest of the summer.” 

Somehow the prospect of a summer immobilized by a cast seemed worse than the pain.  “No...” he managed to squeak out, but he could no longer stop the sobs.  “The Stan O’War can’t wait an entire summer!”

Ford helped his brother up, and wrapped his arms around Stan as he sobbed into Ford’s jacket.

“It will be fine Stanley.  We have a long time to finish restoring the boat.” Ford said, and Stan was instantly comforted.

~*~*~*~*

Stan took the cast off a couple of weeks early because he was going to go crazy if he had to live one more day with that stupid thing preventing him from doing what he wanted to.  Although Ford protested, his arm seemed to work just fine.  “Knew it,” he muttered to Ford.  “Doctors are all just a buncha quacks.”

But his right elbow would sometimes have a funny click when he moved it that never went away.

Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey; early 1970-something

Stan staggered into the bathroom he and Ford shared in their family apartment over the pawn shop, grateful for what seemed like the millionth time for the back entrance that allowed him to sneak in without having to walk past his dad in the shop. 

He gripped the sink with his bruised and bloodied knuckles, trying to fight the dizziness and nausea that was threatening to either make him lose his lunch or black out.  He closed his eyes and focused on the cool porcelain against his skin, and after a few seconds he hazarded moving one of his hands momentarily to turn on the cold water spigot.  He nearly lost his balance, but the cold water sounded fresh and inviting, and after a small deliberation, he decided to slowly kneel down and rest his head against the sink so he could put his hands under the water.  He sighed with relief as he felt less in danger of falling over, and let the cold water run over his stinging knuckles. 

When he felt a little better after about half a minute, he moved his hot wrists under the cold, grateful his nausea was starting to dissipate.  Of course, he still hadn’t opened his eyes again yet, and knew the moment he did the room would start spinning again...

“Stanley!” Ford shouted in shock.

“Keep... keep it down, will ya?”  Stan mumbled.  “I don’ want Ma to see.”

“Holy Moly, what happened to you?” Ford asked, still just as shocked, but at least his voice was in a quieter tone this time. 

“You shoulda seen the other guy,” Stan muttered, hazarding a grin to where he thought Ford was.  He still wasn’t ready to open his eyes.

He heard Ford sigh, a little too exasperatedly.  “Stanley,” he started.  “You need to stop getting-”

“Couldja get me a cloth, Sixer?”  Stan interrupted grumpily.  “The blood from my nose is startin’ to itch.”

“I’ll be right back,” Ford said, resigned.  A few seconds later, the water over Stan’s hands was interrupted as Ford put a cloth under the stream to get it wet.  “Can you sit down and lean against the wall?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Stan answered.  “Leaning against a wall sounds good,” he said, and slowly shifted backwards so he was no longer kneeling but putting all his weight against the nice, solid, wall, allowing his muscles to relax.

“Here,” Ford said, pressing the now wet cloth into Stan’s hand.  Stan took it, but instead of using the cloth to start to clean up his face, he gingerly moved to put the cold rag at the nape of his neck, feeling himself relax a little more as the nausea all but disappeared.

“I’ll go get another rag,” Ford said, but this time sounded a little softer.  Stan heard him leave, come back, put the rag under the water, and shut the water off.  Then a cloth was once more pressed into Stan’s hands, and as Stan carefully brought it up to where he felt the blood begin to dry below his nose, he heard Ford sit down on the edge of the tub.  “What was this one about?” he asked, not in a condemning manner, but sincerely wanting to know.

Stan paused, then said, “I found the guy who started all those rumors about you.”

“Oh.” Ford said, and even in that one syllable Stan heard the devasting hurt that Ford had felt this whole past week.  He regretted bringing it up, but before he could say anything to change the subject, Ford said, “I thought you said I should just ignore them.”

Stan risked a smile, then winced.  “I said you should ignore them, Sixer.  I didn’t say I should.”

Ford snorted, then Stan heard him swallow.  “Stanley, I have to tell you, that left eye doesn’t look good,” Stan heard him stand up from the edge of the tub.  “Hang on.”

He once more left, and when he returned, Stan suddenly felt a shock of cold cover his left eye and yelped, causing everything to flare up in pain.  The cold thing dropped to his lap, and he heard Ford stumble backward.

“I’m sorry!” Ford said, mortified, then the cold thing was picked up off of Stan.  “It’s just frozen peas.”

“A little warning would be nice next time.” Stan grumbled, and he held out his hand for the peas, putting them over his left eye.

“Sorry,” Ford said again.  Then after a pause, said,  “Who was it?”

“Paul Cole,” Stan said, and removed the peas to finally open his eyes to give a wicked smile to his brother.  The vision in his left eye was a lot blurrier than he remembered, but he ignored it.  “He won’t be starting rumors about you again.”

“You didn’t kill him, did you?” Ford asked in horrified fascination. 

“No you knucklehead,” Stan said, once more closing his eyes and applying the peas.  “But he knows what happens if he messes with you again.”

“You shouldn’t have to fight my battles, Stan.” Ford said.

Stan shrugged, causing him to wince.  “’Course I do.” he said.  “You mess with one of us, you mess with both of us.” He shifted against the wall, trying to get more comfortable.  “’Sides, you’d do the same for me.”

“You know I would.” Ford promised earnestly with steel in his voice, and Stan smiled.

The left eye would always take slightly longer to focus every time he woke up.

Cartagena, Colombia, mid 1970-something

Stan only got a few steps down the road after his release from that jail in Colombia when a car screeched to a stop in front of him, and four goons rushed out, instantly restraining each of his arms and putting a bag over his head.  After about an hour’s drive, Stan was pulled out of the car, marched somewhere inside, and shoved onto a hard chair before the hood was taken off of him.  “Thanks,” he said in English, the only petty thing he could think of doing.  The goons grunted and left, locking the door behind them.

Stan took in his surroundings and recognized them immediately.  The room had dark wood paneling, dark green carpet, and several rare paintings and rare antiquities on pedestals, some of which Stan recognized as items he himself had helped steal.  His chair was in front of a dark mahogany desk with a leather upholstered chair behind it, which was- for now- empty. Yes, Stan was in the office of Carlos Aguilar, one of the most powerful crime lords in the country- the man Stan had been working for during the heist that had put him in jail. 

He fought the panic rising in his throat by reminding himself there was no reason for Aguilar to think poorly of him- he never did anything wrong on his heists before, it wasn’t his fault the crew was caught during the last one, and he didn’t say a peep during his time in jail, not during the countless hours of interrogation by the authorities and not to any other men he was imprisoned with (a relatively easy feat after he convinced them all he didn’t speak Spanish).  He should be fine.  Aguilar probably just wanted to offer him another job, right?

A door to the side of the desk opened, and Aguilar walked into the room, followed by one of the bodyguards Stan only knew as “Lobo”.  Aguilar had a shark smile on his face, and Stan knew this was not a good sign.  Well, time to diffuse the situation with the ol’ Pines Charm.

“Hey, Mr. Aguilar, how’s it going?” he asked cheerfully in Spanish, standing up in respect.  “Long time no see, am I right?  You look great!  Did you start a new workout routine?”

“Shut up, Pino,” Aguilar said as sat down.

“No problem,” Stan gulped, still standing.

Aguilar looked up at Lobo, who, quick as a snake, suddenly hit Stan’s left kneecap with a baseball bat, causing Stan to yelp and collapse to the ground.  Despite the pain he somehow managed to have the sense to roll away, but another strike of the bat didn’t come.  He stayed on the ground, taking deep, quick breaths, determined not to show weakness in front of these very dangerous men.

“That is for your failure in the last heist, Pino,” Aguilar said from his desk.  Stan couldn’t see him, but he sounded bored.  “And I am aware the contributing elements of it going wrong were not your doing, but you still failed.” Stan heard him stand up and was soon looking up at the crime lord.  “Rest assured those at fault are no longer with us.  And it is only because of your loyalty during your incarceration that you are not joining them.”  He nodded at Stan, then walked back to his desk.  “Lobo,” he said, and suddenly Stan felt himself being roughly hauled up to his feet and dragged out of the room, gritting his teeth and biting his tongue to prevent another yell.

After his knee started working again, Stan went back to the Aguilar compound one last time to plant evidence of the man’s crimes, and stole a suitcase full of cash on his way out to pay for the plane back to the US.   He was done with Colombia, and the knee that twinged every time a storm was coming always reminded him to never go back.

Gravity Falls, Oregon, 1981

The brand from the burn that Stan got during his fight with Ford stung for weeks, just like Stan’s shock about what just happened.  It had been over 10 years since he saw his brother, only for their reunion to end in Ford disappearing through a transdimensional gateway that promptly stopped working, and all Stan could think about was getting him back.  Finally, after waking up in the cold basement room, disoriented from working for- he didn’t even know how many hours- straight, he realized he had better start handling getting Ford back in a little smarter way.

Stan never understood how he somehow managed to get back to the semblance of living a life after he lost his brother.  But day by day, even though the dark room in the basement always occupied a place in his mind, he found himself going outside, putting more creativity and fun into the newly christened Mystery Shack, and actually talking to people even when they weren’t paying him to.  He had started a poker group with Steve the town mechanic, checked out the Lodge of the Royal Order of the Holy Mackerel, and began Phase One of flirting with one of the waitresses down at the Triple Digit Truck Stop just at the edge of town by asking to borrow money.  He almost felt like a normal person...

Until one day he caught his reflection in the mirror in the bathroom to see the brand on his back was no longer bright red, but beginning to fade.  The surprise made him also realize he hadn’t been downstairs to work on the portal in almost two weeks.

He barely had the foresight to put on clothes before he rushed out of the house down to the Skull Fracture bar in town.  He burst through the door, not even giving his eyes time to adjust before he breathlessly asked, “Which one of you knuckleheads does tattoos?”

The men in the bar looked at each other, then looked back at Stan.  One very large, very scary bald man in a leather vest and combat boots stood up and loomed over Stan. “You got money, knucklehead?”

Stan gulped.  “I’ll do ya one better.  You get one favor from me, no questions asked.”

The whole bar started laughing, but Stan didn’t budge, and the laughter slowly died down.  The bald man looked at Stan and raised an eyebrow.  “You got a car?”

~*~*~*~*

Stan nearly burst out laughing when the man mentioned pug smuggling, but one look at the bald man’s face told him it wasn’t a joke, and he managed to choke down and turn the laughter into a cough before he could offend the man.  He agreed to assist in the next shipment in a couple of days in exchange for a tattoo following the lines of the brand on his back.

“Buddy, you know if I do this, the scar ain’t gonna go away,” the tattoo artist said.  “It’s not gonna let the skin heal all the way-”

“That’s the point of a tattoo, isn’t it?” Stan asked tensely.  “So it lasts forever?”

“Guess so,” the tattoo artist said, and began to put on his gloves.  “Just so you know, it’s going to hurt.  A lot.”

“What doesn’t?” Stan asked, flashing the man a grin.  He deserved it for forgetting to work on the portal.  But with the brand permanently inked into his skin, he wouldn’t ever forget again. 

Gravity Falls, Oregon, 2012

Stan heard the cheers of Soos, Dipper, and Mabel as he flew through the air on the back of the pterodactyl. Pride bubbled up inside of him with the realization that he had made the right decision, as stupid as it was to put his life in danger to rescue a pig.

The pterodactyl began to gain altitude, which was the exact opposite direction Stan wanted to go.  He was mostly over his fear of heights thanks to Mabel and her crazy therapy a few weeks ago, but he needed to get back to the kids and get out of there.

The adrenaline from the speed and flight was making him giddy, and the admiration of his great niece and nephew made him want to do something really cool, like from the movies.  He clasped his hands together and held them above his head as if he were holding a sword, and thought of a really great line from one of his favorite gladiator movies to shout, and thought he had better edit the language for the kids, just in case...

The combination of less than 100% focus, an unexpected movement of the pig strapped to the front of his chest, and the bumpy turbulence of riding on a pterodactyl meant that the when Stan brought his fists down on the pterodactyl’s head and shouted “From heck’s heart I stab at thee!”, the angle of the blow was slightly off-

breaking Stan’s right pinky finger.

He didn’t notice until after he and the kids were safe at home and all of the adrenaline had worn off that his finger was hurting.  But truth be told, every inch of him hurt after the fight with the dinosaur, so he didn’t bother to splint it.  By the time it stopped hurting, it had healed crooked, and the pinky finger couldn’t straighten out with the others.

But every time he saw it he remembered the look on Mabel’s face when he landed from off the pterodactyl, holding her pet pig safely against his chest, and knew that a crooked finger was absolutely worth it.   

Somewhere in the Arctic Circle, sometime in the 2010s.

Stan roared with laughter, the sound matched by Ford as Dipper finished telling a crazy story over video call of a revenge prank that he and Mabel had pulled on the school bully.

“Kid!  I’m so proud of you!” Stan chuckled to his great nephew. 

“We’re so proud of you,” his brother corrected with a smile.  “That was indeed a brilliant way to prevent future interference from that degenerate.”

“See Dip, I told you we could tell them,” Mabel cut in.  “They’re our Funkles!”

“That’s right!” Stan laughed again.  Then he stopped abruptly and stared right at the camera, pointing a finger at them.  “But don’t get caught.”

Mabel scoffed.  “As if.”

“Good girl,” Stan grinned. 

“Stanley, I think we’ll soon have some competition for best Pines twins ever,” Ford said with a small smile on his face.

“Not a chance, Sixer,” Stan answered casually.

“Is that a challenge?” Dipper asked on the other end of the line.  “We’re going to see you guys in a few months; I’d get ready!”

Stan and Ford laughed together.  “Fat chance, kid!” Stan said.  “But still, we can’t wait to see you.”

“Be sure you’re still making time to study in between your pranks,” Ford cut in, and Stan rolled his eyes for comedic effect.

“No worries Grunkle Ford!” Mabel answered.  “We love you!”

“Love you!” Dipper echoed.

“Love you too,” Stan and Ford said at the same time, and they turned off the video call.

Stan took a deep breath of the cold salt air on the deck of The Stan O’War II, completely unable to keep the giant grin off of his face.

“They are really great kids, aren’t they?” Ford commented with his own smile. 

“Yeah,” Stan said.  “Just like us.”

Ford put a hand on his brother’s shoulder.  “Just like us.” he answered.  Then he started walking to the other side of the deck.  “Set up the deck chairs for some fishing- there’s supposed to be some excellent cod around here.”

“Bet you five bucks I make the first catch of the day,” Stan said with a wicked smile, and was met with the reflection in Ford’s face.

“Make it ten,” his brother said happily, and he went to go grab the fishing poles.

Stan took another deep breath and felt contentment, love, trust, worth, and safety.  And the hole that had been in his life for 40 years was now filled.

And his heart was completely healed.

[vii0so]

[BSD 120.5] Theory/Analysis

NOTE BEFORE READING: 90% of this post was written on the day of the chapter's release but got forgotten in my drafts. As I'm too lazy right now to read through and edit, expect things that: make no sense, are worded as if the chapter came out today or recently, stop in the middle of the sentence/incomplete etc. Also for some reason I added stuff not directly relating to the chap...I'm sure I wanted to lead into a bigger point but by now I have no idea what I was going for.

I realised it's almost time for the new chapter and that's how I remembered this was still in my drafts...

So I'm posting it more for me rather than anyone else (which I sort of already do anyway).

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Well well well...it's been another month so I'm here again to put my 2 cents in on this month's chapter.

I'm sure there's no need to say it but the following will contain spoilers for BSD chapter 120.5.

And as always with my long posts...expect me to sidetrack a lot.

This includes a deep dive into Fyodor's title as well.

Today's Topics:

Humanity & Fyodor's outlook

Fyodor's title

Fyodor's humanity

Ability Users & Humans

The page isn't with Fyodor

Thoughts on Fukuzawa's "death"

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Humanity & Fyodor's outlook

Today's chapter gives us a great insight on Fyodor's goal, or at least confirms the one we already knew of and bathes it in a new light. But let's first start with what his outlook on humans is.

"An unlearned outlook befitting of your short lives."

"Your" = humans "Short lives" = human lifespans

This is basically saying: "You haven't lived as long as me so you don't know/understand" Or better yet, "You will never have enough time in your short lives to learn like I did."

Fyodor in his immortal life has seen things, witnessed eras come and go, same with wars. He has had nothing but time to observe humanity and their many flaws.

He believes no one with a short life-span (humans) will understand his learned outlook.

Note: We don't know how old Fyodor actually is. I personally believe that he's over two thousand years old but I only have one small piece of unrelated evidence that supports this. Though, no matter the age, he has lived a long time, that doesn't change.

Fyodor looks genuine in this scene. The look of "acceptance". Accepting the fact that humans won't understand or change, no matter how many centuries pass.

Note: It should be remembered that acceptance does not mean compliance. Fyodor is the perfect example of this.

It honestly feels lonely. Trust me, I don't even like Fyodor but this is just depressing, even for the villain. Imagine your ability has made you pretty much immortal and you watch humanity make the same mistakes, have the same flaws, see them drive themselves to ruin multiple times and no one will ever understand you as they haven't lived as long as you. (Arguably, I'd say Dazai got close)

TLDR: Imagine living forever and watching humans ruin themselves repeatedly and having no one who will understand what you're thinking. That's Fyodor's life.

He lost faith in humanity a long time ago.

Anyway...on a different note (slight backtrack), our boy Atsushi seems to agree or at least understand that "Humanity cannot bear such enormous virtue." Based on his expression here and the panel.

It's like his expression is saying, "Damn, he's right, I've gone through so much to stop this but it's just way too much even for me (an ability user)." or something...idk honestly.

Atsushi is emotionally tuned in with the world so maybe he just saw Fyodor's expression and was like: "holy shi-" again, idk.

"Pure evil"...not like anyone has said otherwise about Fyodor.

His calm yet determined(?) expression when Fukuzawa tells him this shows that he finds what he's doing as necessary and planned.

What Fyodor wants is a world war. Specifically, one that will eliminate all ability users. Instead of getting his hands dirty, it'll be done by humans.

Now, I know that ability users get separated a lot from your every day average human but Fyodor's choice of words shows that he doesn't view ability users as humans at all.

Though, the way he uses the word "humanity" may be more as in those of the greater population, or just "The ones without abilities."

With [One Order] though, does "humanity" include ability users? In theory it should, and yet it doesn't seem that way.

Fyodor believes there will be peace if ability users are gone...Looks like he either has never seen a world without ability users or there's more to this plan than he's letting on.

"What...are you...? I can't possibly see you as human."

Fyodor has never once claimed to be human. Or at least he has never seen himself as human.

And he clearly separates himself from those with short lives (humans) as a different being.

He has been considered a demon throughout the whole series.

Now for my monthly: "Analyse the original Japanese even though I don't speak it."

Today's segment will mostly be my curiosity taking word form, so feel free to skip to the next part or enjoy.

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Fyodor's title

First off, I didn't manage to get the raws to see the spelling of the title. I only heard the spoken Japanese version in the anime, which was "majin".

[ Dazai says it around 12:33 in Season 3 Episode 8 ]

So feel free to interpret it as either [魔神] or [魔人] (both are pronounced as "majin" but have different meanings).

Due to the official translation calling him "conjurer", I thought that maybe it was [ 魔人 ] but the fact that the fan translation calls him "demon", points closer to [ 魔神 ].

Left: Fan translation (DazaiScans) | Right: Official English translation

When you break it down more into individual Kanji, you start to see the difference and similarities.

Both are pronounced as "jin" when in "majin".

[ 魔 ] / "ma" is in both [ 魔神 ] and [ 魔人 ]. And it's from "ma" that we get the more demonic/evil meaning.

So, in a way, even [ 魔人 ] could be seen as "demonic person".

[ 魔 ] / "ma" is in "majin" and "akuma"

Now, when Dazai was called a "demon" he was referred to as "akuma".

As you can see, [ 悪魔 ] is way more serious than [ 魔人 ] or [ 魔神 ] .

This obviously gets lost in translation, as both become "demon".

One instance where Dazai is being referred to as 悪魔 is in the 15 light novel and manga adaptation. For some reason, it's not in the anime.

I'm not here to talk about Dazai's humanity though. I just wanted to show the difference in seriousness of "demon" between the titles*.

*Correction, "Demon" is not Dazai's title. While he has been called as such, his only known title was "Black Wraith" (Kuroi Yuuki - 黒い幽鬼).

Yuuki [ 幽鬼 ] - ghost; revenant; spirit (of the dead); departed soul

Kuro [ 黒 ] - black (as noun) - Kuroi [ 黒い ] = black (as adjective)

So back to the topic at hand!

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Fyodor's humanity

Fyodor being referred to as "majin" instead of "akuma" makes a big difference even if both can be "demon".

In this chapter - as I stated earlier - we see Fyodor talk as if he isn't human. Akuma would refer to a demon - not human, but majin refers more closely to an "evil being", and if it's [ 魔人 ] it can especially be seen as a "demonic/evil human".

Therefore, Fyodor's title shows that he is human, no matter how much he separates himself and the rest of the ability users from the greater human population.

...Wait a minute...just remembered something.

I should have trusted my memory and checked the raws from chapter 120 earlier...it was literally only a month ago and yet I almost forgot Fukuzawa literally used Fyodor's title at the end of the chapter!

So Fyodor's title is [ 魔人 ]

[ 魔 ] for "witch", "demon", "evil spirit"

[ 人 ] for "person"

...Remembering this earlier would have saved me so much time ;-;

I will still keep what I wrote from earlier - my rambling about wether it's [ 魔人 ] or [ 魔神 ] - as I spent way too long on it and don't have enough mental energy to change it.

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Ability Users & Humans

(Specifically in the eyes of Fyodor)

Now that we know it's [ 魔人 ], I can analyse further into Fyodor's view on ability users.

In short, Humans are...humans, I won't go into the foolishness and ugliness of humans, because in life there's death just like there's pain in love, it's yin and yang. Basically: where there's good, there's evil.

人類 - mankind; humanity

異能 - unusual power; superpower; ability beyond that of humans

者 - person (rarely used without a qualifier)

I understand 者 as the user in "ability user"

So 人類 vs 異能者 = Humanity vs Ability users.

[Section Incomplete] - I remember wanting to talk about how Fyodor sees himself and then talking about how that shows how he views humanity and ability users. First off, he doesn't care what he becomes or is seen as. He is the type to "willingly become a demon for future peace" (at least "peace" in his eyes). I remember having a plan (in my head) for this section but...by now I've forgotten and are too lazy to continue it.

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The page isn't with Fyodor

This may sound strange since we see Fukuchi hold the page too but remember: we never saw them actually use/write on the "page" that we've seen. It's basically just a normal piece of paper.

Fukuchi claims the paper he's holding as the page. [Chapter 83.5]

There's no proof of it actually being the page though.

Fyodor offers the page to Atsushi [Chapter 119]

This was Fyodor's plan to show Atsushi that the page is there with them. So that he has no reason to question where the page is.

If you see an apple in front of you, you won't be thinking "I wonder where the apple is" but instead believe that it's right there.

I had a far fetched thought that maybe the page was with Fyodor in the prison and then made to be found by Sigma in the guise of the note claiming he needs help:

When Sigma picks it up, it looks like there are two papers.

And yet, when he shows it to Fyodor there seems to only be a one:

Now of course, this could just be artistic error or even mere perspective but I don't think so. Every detail is usually intentional.

So what's the second paper?

The page.

...possibly

"How did Sigma not realise?" I don't know...Maybe it's been changed to appear as a blank page somehow.

This would tie in with my theory from last update that Fyodor is in a rush to get to Sigma before he wakes up.

Atsushi thinks Fyodor has the page and that he'll have to take it off him (steal it) somehow. He has no idea that the page isn't even close by but instead in Meursault.

A lot of people think "How could Atsushi's day get any worse?"

Well...fight a literal god-like-level being who is controlled by a 2k+ old evil mastermind who wants to get rid of all ability users by manipulating the general public and then never even get the page that you were fighting for because you were being manipulated this entire time and the page was never there...

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Thoughts on Fukuzawa's "death"

First off, I don't think I've mentioned it in my theories so far but I don't believe that those "killed" by ame-no-gozen will stay dead. At some point, all of them will be alive again with no issues.

Anyway, Fukuzawa's "death" reminded me of Rampo after the "Kamui is Fukuchi" discovery. Is this a sign that we'll see him in the next chapter? ...probably not, but it did feel like a parallel, at least to me.

Also, I know last time I said "maybe next chapter he'll die" but no, this is not the death

Btw, this feels like a parallel to me even if it's not exactly the same:

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██████████ Complete!

Note: The following segment was written around a week after the chapter released.

The moment I finished reading the chapter (a few hours after it released) I started typing this immediately. So I've been writing this on and off for a week now...

First, I was tired IRL, then the next day was busy, and the next and the next and...you get it. I probably wrote most of it on the first day while tired so don't mind if anything makes no sense.

This must be the longest theory post I've written for BSD so far...

Should I stop doing long posts? Would you guys prefer short ones? I try to do one long post per chapter, but I feel like not many people read them, precisely because they're long. I like doing it like this as it's more compact (in my opinion) but if you guys would like me to stop the long posts let me know.

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To the people who actually read this post, if anything doesn't make sense or seems incomplete, it's because I wrote all this while tired (35% with a headache) and whenever i came back to write more I couldn't remember what I was trying to say...

It was in my drafts partially incomplete so since we're expecting the new update soon, I remembered this and posted it.

[realbatberntruther]

ok so im on a rush but it goes something like this:

Bernard is an EMT in Gotham at first, wich then escalates to finishing his education to be an actual doctor, mostly done by the recommendation of both Leslie and Alfred because, while they can manage all the batfam injuries, they´re not inmortal, so they need to know someone will take care of everyone when their moment comes.

In this AU Jason and Damian, by some ungodly reason, get along with Bernard; this is mostly based on some fics i´ve read that i like, so we keep that :)

At some point, both Jason and Damian gift Bernard some weapons in case he ever needs one; Jason gives him either a Kimber micro 9 or a Colt 1911, engraved with some patterns in the handle, while Damian gives him a pair of daggers, the leather in the handle the same color as his eyes, with an engravation in the blade on a lenguage Bernard doesn´t understand.

As time passes, Bernard decides to be part of doctors withou borders, both to help where help is needed and as a way to test his knowledge and abilities.

Let´s say that one year and a half passed once he came back to Gotham, and another six month pass until Tim proposes.

Bernard is all over the moon at the prospect of getting married to Tim, and he has´t been this happy in a long time. But as always, this doesn´t last forever.

Just one week before the wedding, Tim dies, supposedly, in a plane crash.

Not only Bernard is devastated, the whole family is, they just lost a son, a brother, a friend, and the crime in Gotham doesn´t stop, so they have to handle all that at once.

Bernard was still assimilating the news when he finds out it wasn´t an accident, it was planned, and oh boy

Bernard, instead of communicating this to the batfamily and, idk, maybe process grief in a healthy way, goes straight up to Shiva, Ra´s, literally anyone who´s willing to train him without asking too much questions, because he has shit to do

in this AU, i had the idea of Ra´s helping Bernard because one of his men betrayed him and helped kill Tim despite his order to NOT, so he agreeds to train him in order to take care of that. (be aware that im not expert in the interpretation of whatever a character would do something or not, but this is what works for the AU, so please bear with me)

After 5 months or so of training and collecting information, Bernard makes his first move

That´s how the batfamily found out that Bernard had left the country, because after the death of Tim they had been so overwhelmed and trying to find a new normality that they didn´t even realize they hadn´t seen Bernard in person for months

Bernard´s first stop is in Japan, mainly for two reasons: he needs someone there to make a katana for him (kill bill inspired), and the first person on his list is also there (also kill bill inspired)

He´s also there to get his suit, but the how is mostly unimportant. His suit his white, reassembling what was supposed to be his wedding suit. It´s, for the most part, similar to the one The Bride wears in Kill Bill, even the shoes.

The fact that Bernard actually succeds in taking out the first one on his list is what puts to alert all the other ones because, yes, for Tim to die the collaboration of twele people where needed

Some facts of Bernard in this AU: he was in a pain cult, so he is no stranger to what it feels like to hurt so much, but after Tim´s death he starts to intentionally hurt himself, not as a punishment, but as a training for what's about to come. The fact that he trained himself to tolerate pain to the point where he doesn´t really feel it is what tells the 12 killers this guy is serious. It only got worse once they realized that oh shit, this is the groom of the guy we killed

The first 4 try and fail to kill him directly, the next ones were more smart about it

I have many, MANY thoughts about how this AU would go, specially considering the amount of people Bernard would need to kill in order to get vengance, but for now this is all i´ve managed to write.

I wanted to make some drawings of Bernard, thinking that, if this was a comic run, it would be cool to have Bernard and the killer in the covers; the more people he kills, the bloodier his suit gets.

If anyone has any ideas, please feel free to add! English is not my first lenguage, so i may have some mistakes, and i apologize for that in advance :]

My Kill Bill Bernard AU has stopped being an AU and at this point is just a whole independent history with an OC based on Bernard and The Bride but idc

[emilykaldwen]

I'm on the hunt for some chonky COMPLETED fics. Please and thank you. Looking for good character development, meaty plots.

Susan/Caspian

Jonsa

Jaimsa

I'll even take some LotR/Similarion stuff even though I'm not super familiar with it

Witcher (Geralt/Yennefer, Ciri focused stuff)

Poe/Rey (No Reylo, please, I don't go there)

SW Prequel Stuff (Sabe/Obi-Wan, Anakin/Padme, Hera/Kanan...)

Elena/Elijah

Caroline/Klaus (no Damon/Elena ship stuff pls)

Tyler/Elena

I just, I'm pouring all my time and energy right now into massive plot heavy ten million moving parts fic and I've lost like 20 AO3 bookmarks because people deleted and so I'm on the search for something good. So currently wracking my brain for the things I like that might give me some must reads

[risingsunresistance]

sorry him saying he has no idea where the misogyny thing comes from when ludwig just talked about how he sent him a big apology for calling his friend a whore when it was about THE WRONG WOMAN is funny as fuck

i dont think he realizes that the reason no one gives a shit about his apologies and honestly just straight up ignores them is because EVEN IN THE EVENT THAT THEY ARE TRUE he's been proven to lie soooooo many times to the point where you really cant believe a word that comes out of his mouth. he says something and im like "damn maybe i was wrong about that one... i'll look into it" and you get more info and go "oh. he just made that part up. and misworded that. and lied about that part... oh it was actually WORSE than i initially thought!"

[deoidesign]

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