#but I highly doubt shannon had that in mind at ALL

[bookwyrminspiration]

"Amy was Sophie's opposite in every way, from her curly brown hair and green eyes to her lower than average grades and incredible popularity." (Book 1)

"Amy's hair was longer and straighter, with a few layers framing her face. And her skin had picked up a whole bunch of freckles. Somehow the combination made her look so much older than Sophie wanted her to be and much too young for what they were there for, all at the same time" (Book 8)

so having curls is childish and something you can grow out as you mature the way she's writing it. shannon genuinely cannot let a single curly haired character exist in peace can she

[wexhappyxfew]

hi shannon!! marianne is calling my name so... can i request "it's 4am. you need sleep." with her? 😁 hope you're having an AMAZING day!!

HI BLUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!! you already are very aware of my excitement towards this prompt because i have not talked as much as i have wanted about my queen marianne salinger, resident tail-gunner of silver bullets who loves three things in this world (1) the silver bullets crew, (2) frank sinatra and (3) her orange cat, frank. AND OF COURSE -- i took this opportunity to talk a bit more about co-pilot of silver bullets, francis montez - co-pilots are just....they're so interesting. there is so much depth to them, especially what their relationship is with the pilot, and we dig into that here. also -- we get some birdie faulkner mentions! my queen (lost but not forgotten)!! francis montez, my tragic hero, i am HUGGING YOU!!!!! please enjoy this look into life before annie bradshaw became replacement command pilot for silver bullets! it is such an interesting space to work in, especially considering what we already know about life with annie bradshaw as the pilot!!!

we all lost birdie

(a/n): marianne salinger POV of the limbo time in between the command of birdie faulkner and annie bradshaw as francis montez struggles with the weight of leadership in a time like this. let's just say....she's not coping well, but the silver bullets crew is there to help with that. also -- marianne is just a gem for real, like observant, chaotic af, non-smoker but is the 'do it because my friends did it' person tbh she's great LMAO! please enjoy!!! (and thank you blu for this....i sincerely hope you enjoy!!!) <3333333 co-pilots my beloved!!

Birdie Faulkner had been on levels even some men would never get to in their lifetime. Highly respected, rather decorated and equally intelligent as any man flying a B-17 as anyone. It’s probably what made Silver Bullets so reliable.

The first she picked was her co-pilot.

Francis Montez - a good Californian, who had top marks in school and a knack for opening up her mouth when prompted, she was an easy choice for co-pilot, a second in command, another leader who would undoubtedly be useful in unforeseen circumstances.

The navigator and bombardier came next: Bessie Carlisle and Carrie Achterberg or Bergie, of Queens and Brooklyn, New York, respectively, from two sides of the same town. Damn good at their jobs, efficient, the glue to the crew and the ones with the brains. Necessary investments.

Then came the flight engineer. Not only must she know all she can about the B-17 but how to fix it on the ground or in the air if needed. Marjorie Harlowe - or Margie - from Michigan, took up that role with ease. A smile, a flick of the finger, an easy-going and competent nature - it wasn’t any surprise that if you flew with Margie Harlowe, you were safe.

Radio ops was next - Paulina Stagliano of Philly was one to talk. Loud mouth and an even louder mind, she got her point across in short question and answer scenarios for her crew, and was always of the opportune to play music when the morale was low.

Then - her turret gunners.

Waist gunners were first - Kennedy Farley hailed from Boston, a rather passionate, raging Red Sox fan, who was a fierce and loyal protector and friend. And a damn-good gunner - she knew that gun inside and out and if you needed a hand with repairs, she'd show up with a smoke, a screwdriver and a small frown and get it done in 5 minutes.

Vivian Ratcliffe from Colorado had grown up with a father teaching her the ropes in mechanic garages - and it was no wonder she was so used to the cold up in that open-air belly - nights and mornings spent skiing in the Rockies, gaining rough-and-tumble love from nature, from the air to the sea. The best of the group, truly.

Then she went for the ball turret gunner - they had to be pretty small, reliable, quick-witted, and no doubt, Birdie wanted someone with a funny personality - Judy Rybinski was practically over-qualified for the role. Showing up with a grin on her face, offering Birdie a bouquet of wildflowers hand-picked, shaking hands and talking about how quickly she could blow a target from the sky seemed to sell Birdie and the rest of the crew immediately. She was a peach.

Then there was herself; Marianne Salinger.

Tail gunner.

Sort of oddly lanky, but not super tail, slightly scrutinizing of others that weren't her crew, painter and animal lover when the war wasn't on, and a Frank Sinatra fan that even if his mother showed up, Marianne would've professed her love greater onward than that. She even found a stray orange tabby named Frank to join her.

She was a lot of things in ways, but very observant. Incredibly observant. Overly observant. And sometimes - to be like that hurt.

Because right now, Birdie was dead.

And the Silver Bullets crew was pilotless - the vacant spot staring the 90% crew in the face, the empty cot where Birdie's things had been like a sore bruise on the body - aching, but almost gone.

In moments like this, Marianne always admired Lieutenant Montez.

Probably since she was first brought into Silver Bullets and introduced to the Silver Bullets co-pilot; Lieutenant Francis Montez.

The good-hearted Californian.

Called you five different nicknames before sticking with one.

Keeping the brave face on in front of the rest of the Silver Bullets crew after Captain Faulkner's death.

Especially when she'd been right next to her when it happened.

So, in shifting herself to the left side in her cot, yawning widely and letting out an overdramatic 'hmph' as she snuggled into her pillow, hearing a rather distressed and choked cry leave someone's lips sent her sitting straight up in her cot. The quick movement made her heart pound, a pressure building behind her eyes and the sudden realization, from a quick glance at her watch, that it was only 0400 with the moonlight still peaking through.

Marianne swiveled her head around the barracks, squinting in the darkness, attempting to seek out who it was. Truth be told, after losing Birdie, nightmares became a normal thing - and some nights, no one slept. It'd been a tense and uneasy atmosphere for nearly a week and with no new pilot, things were even more worrisome and weary.

The only person holding them together was co-pilot Francis Montez. And currently, she was the one breaking down. Marianne could tell because it came from the far corner of the bunk room, closest to the door. And Francis didn't ever let it on that inside she was hurting. It's probably what hurt Marianne the most to see.

At dinners and lunches and breakfast - Francis would be sat, that blank look in her eyes, that ache buried deep inside, barely eating and trying to laugh it off seconds later.

Slowly standing to her feet, and nearly tripping over Frank's little pillow on the ground that he'd taken to, she picked her way down the rows of the crew towards Francis.

Deep-down, she probably should've stayed in her cot, kept her mouth shut and let Francis deal with her emotions. But a sudden urge to protect her and hold Francis through a moment like this was all she wanted to do.

Marianne approached the outlined form on the cot, bathed in a sprinkle of moonlight and held her breath, debating if she should turn around now.

"Lieutenant Montez?" Marianne whispered, her voice causing Francis' form to freeze-up entirely, turning to look over her shoulder towards Marianne stood there, as if a ghost had appeared - Marianne almost choked out her words, "I just heard something and wanted to make sure you were okay and then I saw you were awake and-"

"Salinger." Francis said, voice slightly hoarse, silencing her rambling, "I'm fine. Just, some fucking nightmare. But, it's fine. I'm going out for a smoke anyway. Take the edge off." Marianne stood, cheeks heated red in the darkness, as Francis stood to her rather tall height and picked up her A2, throwing it on roughly, before grabbing her smokes' box and heading towards the door. Marianne's heart hammered in her chest before she wiped at her nose and cleared her throat.

"Need a buddy?" Oh, God, now how awkward do you sound? Francis turned and looked at Marianne and she balked. "Uh, need a buddy. Ma'am." Francis stared at her in the darkness and Marianne swore that she could've died on the spot if it was possible.

"Sure." Francis said and then turned to the door stepping outside. Marianne skittered to follow her out, slowly shutting the door behind herself and settling down on the stoop in front of the barracks beside Marianne.

Outside, with the moonlight, Marianne could get a better look at Francis' face and saw the dark circles under her eyes, the fading scar from the incident on that fateful day and the blankness of her eyes all at once. Her heart ached.

"Want one, Salinger?" Francis said, placing one on her own lip before offering the box. Marianne - resident and very adamant non-smoker in the group - stared at the box before looking at Francis again. Francis usually never offered because she knew Marianne didn't smoke, but Francis seemed on a whole different planet right now. And something made Marianne want to take one.

"Yes. Yes, ma'am." Marianne said, reaching forward to pluck one out of the box and place it on her own lip - the paper taste wasn't nice. Francis chuckled slightly.

"You don't have to keep calling me ma'am or….or Lieutenant. It's fine, seriously." Francis said, glancing at her, "Here." Francis leaned forward and gently lit the edge of Marianne's cigarette before leaning back to light her own. Marianne's warm cheeks failed to dissipate and she couldn't help but watch as Francis clicked the lighter closed and then popped the cigarette off her lip and blew out a drag of smoke. She didn't realize her staring until Francis looked to her and waved a hand.

"You there, Salinger?" It didn't take long for Marianne to blink herself out of it, before inhaling the cigarette chemicals too fast, breathing it in and hacking up a lung, loud and noisily, before gasping for breath, the cigarette forgotten between her fingers.

"Sorry," Marianne croaked out as Francis gently tapped her back, clearing her airways, "I don't smoke."

"I forgot about that," Francis said, sounding slightly defeated and guilty, "just not with it right now."

Marianne recovered her bearings and slight moment of embarrassment and looked to Francis sat beside her, staring out towards the airfield at night, planes silhouetted in darkness. It was an eerie feeling - knowing she had died on that plane, after getting up into it thinking there'd be many more times after. Knowing that cockpit would remain empty until the replacement showed up.

Knowing that plane was still sitting out there, soaked in that feeling, those memories, that moment.

"Probably because it's 4 am. And you need sleep." Marianne said quietly, looking over at the co-pilot, "Brain won't work and wire itself right without it."

"Can't sleep most nights anyway so," Francis said, popping the cigarette on her lip and clenching her jaw, "if I do, the nightmares come so, prefer not to if I can."

"Of Birdie?" Marianne asked. Francis grew quiet and continued staring out, blank-eyed. It grew quiet and Marianne wasn't going to push her - fresh in the mind, only four days ago - she almost regretted saying Birdie's name, but she knew Francis needed to get it into her mind what was going on. She needed to be able to talk instead of bottling it inside.

"Yeah." Francis said quietly, pulling the cigarette from her lip, "It replays in my mind. Every night since it's happened." Marianne watched as Francis looked towards her, tears in her eyes. She watched as Francis shook her head, biting back her lip and looking towards her again.

"It was our second mission. We just got out here. And….and she's already gone." Francis whispered quietly before looking out at the darkness again, "They won't allow us to fly until they've got someone new in here, and…I don't know, going up there again and she's not next to me. I….I don't know." Marianne glanced sidelong at Francis again and watched as the co-pilot reached up to angrily wipe at some tears in her eyes and sigh.

"I gotta get myself together - there's some pilot from San Diego coming in tomorrow anyway - Atchinson….something or other. I gotta…." Francis let a hand linger lightly over her body, a display of dissatisfaction on her force, "I know I won't go back to sleep so. Don't want to keep you awake. I'll be fine." Marianne watched Francis - did she actually think Marianne would leave her sit out here alone and suffer in silence? In the darkness?

"I can stay." Marianne said, her cheeks growing warm uncontrollably. Francis looked over at her, slightly surprised. Marianne stuttered. "I mean, I can stay and we can talk. So you're not alone. I don't mind. Mind being here with you. With…" Marianne watched as Francis looked towards her a small smile on her face, dark eyes watching Marianne with mirth.

"When in doubt, Mari Salinger's gonna make sure you're not alone," Francis said, her eyes never leaving Francis' as she reached out and gave her shoulder a squeeze, "thanks, Mari."

Marianne sat there, incredibly aware of the feel of Francis' hand on her shoulder, the warmth from the co-pilot's hand now infiltrating her body, along with the look in Francis' eyes that simply only watched Marianne in this endless darkness. It took a matter of seconds, but then Francis was pulling her hand back, unflinching, and removing her cigarette from her lips again and nodding to her.

Clearly, she wasn't unchanged, but Marianne felt like her entire world had shifted on its axis and suddenly, she wasn't sure if she knew how to breathe right or if her lungs were working.

"So, you hear anything about this Atchinson?" Francis asked her cooly, waving around her cigarette between her fingers and rubbing her temple, "You always got the scoop on this sorta stuff, so." Marianne cleared her throat and looked at Francis.

"I…I must say it's the first time that I really don't know much to anything about her. Just that's she's a pilot. From San Diego. Captain ranking I believe. Nothing more." Marianne said quietly with a shrug, focusing on a spot of dirt on the ground and attempting to pull herself together, "Say, Francis…what happens if this doesn't work out?" Francis glanced at her and raised a brow.

"Come again?" Marianne balked and cleared her throat.

"Atchinson. Uh, Captain Atchinson. What happens if the fit isn't….the right one?" Marianne asked her, "You heard Harding. He said 'We gotta make it the right fit.', the hell is that supposed to mean?" Francis watched her and offered her an upturn of a smile.

"They don't just want anyone up there, Salinger." Francis said to her with a nod, "Birdie was more qualified than any of us. Best of the best. And she hand-picked the group of us. Now. We're down our command pilot and the spot's vacant. They're not just throwing names in a hat and picking out the first piece of paper they touch." Francis smirked.

"Which, I'll give 'em credit, they're looking out for us," Francis said and Marianne's cheeks warmed as Francis smirked at her wider this time, "but that don't mean much, I gotta say. Until that replacement's in the sky with us, until you really know what they're like….I don't know. May not know the right fit until they come back after a mission and know what it's really like." Marianne slowly nodded and glanced back at Francis.

"You think Atchinson's gonna work out?" Marianne asked her, her mind thinking, if Birdie were here tomorrow, to meet her, would she like her? Francis shrugged.

"You can only hope," Francis said quietly, "I don't know though." Francis sighed and scratched at the back of her head for a moment, her dark hair tied into a bun that rested gently on her neck, where the scars of that final flight for Birdie had occurred. They both fell quiet, Francis smoking her cigarette, Marianne trying to get a wrangle on her head and her heart.

"Hey, Francis?" Marianne asked quietly, watching as the co-pilot turned to look towards her. Francis' eyes were always dark and consumed with something no one could ever quite distinguish, but for the first time in what seemed like a while, they were clear and quiet. That chaos, that storm inside was calmed for once.

"What's up?" Francis asked her, as Marianne watched her.

"If you ever need to talk to someone in the future, whatever it is, I'm here. We all here." Marianne said quietly, tapping her fingers against her up-bent knees against her chest on the stoop, the warm night breeze running over her bare legs, "We all lost Birdie." Francis watched Marianne and slowly nodded, tears forming in her gaze. It was those few seconds in between recognition and having a breakdown that Marianne caught as Francis squeezed her eyes shut and bit back her quivering lip.

"I just don't want you all to think this is it for Silver Bullets, for all of us," Francis whispered quietly, her voice breaking, "that without Birdie, we're done for. We all worked to get here, you know. We all deserve to be here, sticking out necks out, dealing with all the shit from everyone else. We're all here because we earned it. And I just….I don't want to show that in front of everyone. That it fucking sucks trying to keep it together, trying to cooperate with a replacement that won't ever be like Birdie. Knowing Birdie won't be coming back." Marianne watched her, tears welling in her own eyes. Her throat tightened as she tried to speak.

"You're not alone, Francis," Marianne said quietly, "Birdie's always gonna be up there, alright? Watching over us." Marianne pointed to the sky. Francis managed a stifled cry and wiped at her tears and sighed.

"I know." Francis whispered.

"Birdie would want us to keep going, too," Marianne said quietly, "remember when Birdie told Judy that one time about how years from now, when people think about this war, our names are gonna be apart of that. Silver Bullets is, too. Even if there's a replacement. Birdie's name is gonna be sticking in that, too. She'll always be here."

Marianne wasn't sure what happened, but in a span of a few seconds, Francis had scooted over and wrapped Marianne in a hug, holding her close, a few silent trembling cries somewhere near her right ear.

Slowly, Marianne wrapped her arms around Francis, holding her there, and letting her feel those emotions for a moment where the only thing watching was the cloudy moon. Francis wasn't a heavily emotional person, so when she pulled back after 30 seconds, Marianne wasn't surprised that she was clearing up and nodding herself back to life.

"Sorry, Mari," Francis said, patting her arm and sighing, "just, thanks for that. Just needed to hear it from someone else, ya know?" Marianne nodded with a small smile, for the first time seeing their co-pilot come a bit more to life, especially in the past week more than anything.

"We're always here." Marianne said, with a small smile, "We are a 10-woman crew. Not a 1-man." Francis chuckled wetly, wiping a few more tears from her eyes as she smiled again.

"I know it's barely 5 am, but they might have coffee out. Wanna join me?" Marianne watched Francis and it only took about a millisecond for her brain to respond.

"Of course." Marianne said with a smile, following Francis to the mess hall for a cup of coffee. A cup of coffee at 5 am to ponder the horrors of the week was all one needed to ready themselves for another day, another mission, another breath of air. It's all Francis needed and something Marianne needed to. It's what they all needed.

[8bitsupervillain]

Umineko Episode Seven Theories

This is a continuation of the following post: https://8bitsupervillain.tumblr.com/post/720388812384141312/ok-mild-leading-you-may-have-already-gotten-this

I felt that my response to the question was getting a touch long so I decided to cut a theory that I had in an attempt to not bore people. I would like to share the theory with you now.

I am firmly of the belief that the “Beatrice” that Rosa confesses to killing in Episodes Three (for some reason I kept thinking it was Episode Four) and Seven, and the “servant, and child” Natsuhi threw off the cliff in Episode Five are in fact the same person. I don’t doubt that Rosa did indeed find Beatrice in Kuwadorian and accidentally led her to the cliffside and her death, but I’m fairly confident that Rosa actually ran into Natsuhi and the child from the orphanage on the way to the beach. Natsuhi who is so overcome with stress and hatred for this child didn’t think twice about the young woman with Rosa and assumed it was a mansion servant and foisted the child upon her. Then events unfolded as they did in the Episodes, but what Rosa thought was simply Beatrice falling to her death was actually Natsuhi trying to rid herself of the child. The result of this action was enough of a mental strain on both Natsuhi and Rosa that they simply willfully or with extreme guilt repressed the idea that the other had been there. In Natsuhi’s mind it was just her and the “servant” she threw off the cliff. For young Rosa she forgot or just plain didn’t see Natsuhi that grim day.

In Episode Five I thought it was strange that Kinzo reacted the way he did, that this was all according to plan. But with the revelation in Episode Seven that the Beatrice in Kuwadorian was his own daughter that he was having an incestuous love affair with it makes a certain amount of sense. He was trying to manipulate fate, or whatever you want to call it by having his daughter who he viewed as a reincarnation of his beloved Beatrice Castiglioni and his grandchild act as a sacrifice in an attempt to bring "the real Beatrice” back from the dead. But it didn’t work.

Rosa mentions in Episode Seven that when she saw Beatrice’s body on the beach she ran back to the mansion and eventually called upon Genji to try to help her with the situation. I don’t doubt that Beatrice died then, but I think that the child actually did live through the attempt. I also think that the child was either Kanon or Shannon, I’m leaning somewhat towards Shannon simply because of the fact it was Shannon who eventually destroys the mirror in the shrine of that one island near Rokkenjima that Beatrice commands her to destroy.

I think this was part of some scheme on Kinzo’s part in an attempt to bring Beatrice Castiglioni back from the dead, but unfortunately for him while it would work eventually it didn’t work immediately. It would only work after his death that Beatrice would come back in a form he would recognize. Maybe his attempt to manipulate fate set the clock back for him?

I also want to propose a different theory to why it’s regarded as the Rokkenjima Incident. In the answer to that question I posited that there’s a chance that it was a mixture of a gas explosion/catastrophic boiler explosion that destroys Ushiromiya manor. Part of my reasoning is pretty silly, and I highly doubt it’s the reason. Part of my hypothesis is that that’s what happens at the end of The Shining by Stephen King, and maybe it’s just an homage.

My real alternate theory to why it’s referred to as the Rokkenjima Incident is kind of a fantastical theory. In Episode Seven during the flashback with a young wartime Kinzo the submarine base he was stationed at had a sinking Italian submarine show up in the base. It was in the process of slowly sinking because it had run afoul of a mine. Most of the crew died, and eventually Kinzo, and Beatrice were the only survivors of a tense and brutal massacre that saw the remnants of the Italian crew and the Japanese soldiers kill each other over the ten tons of gold the sub was carrying. My theory is this: during the typhoon one of the submarines torpedoes was somehow set off during the family conference. This one explosion would cause a chain reaction that would completely engulf and destroy the mansion and the surrounding grounds. And it is simply by dumb luck that Eva was away at Kuwadorian when the explosion obliterated the island. Dumb luck or EVA Beatrice/Lambdadelta (I seem to recall Lamdba being on EVA Beatrice’s side for a minute) beguiled her away from the mansion.

Although, to be perfectly honest with you, I never really put much thought into why it was always referred to as the Rokkenjima Incident, and not the Rokkenjima Serial Murders, or whatever. I just assumed since there was no in-universe clear-cut explanation for it that’s just what the tabloids and newspapers referred to it as.

You know what I wonder? How come Kyrie was able to summon Leviathan? I know they’re trying to explain away all the magic with real actual factual human methods. But in the world of the game itself I figure the fights and murders are happening for real there. Does Kyrie have some sort of latent magic power they just haven’t really expounded upon yet? Because when she tries to get away from Boston Jessica she mentions things about the anti-magic toxin, and the illusion of the Witch.

While we’re on the topic, in a roundabout sense, Shannon has shown she has the same magical powers as Ronove (the magic red barrier at least). So how come when Will is trying to press her into calling Kanon over to confirm they don’t know Lion she's revealed to have the same sort of possessed power Jessica had shown when she killed Kyrie?

Since I’ve long since given up on coherency: why did Okonogi want Akamusa to kill Ange if she had survived her trip to Rokkenjima? I know he’s in cahoots with the Sumaderas for “world peace,” but I don’t know what exactly his role in this could possibly be. Honestly up until the tea party in Episode Six I had forgotten about this character entirely.

Way back in Episode Two, I said I was deeply worried that the game would pull the old “see, Beatrice isn’t actually the bad guy, she’s getting manipulated by someone much worse than her” card. While that has happened, and the worst has more or less come to pass I find I am still deeply deeply engaged in where the plot is going. 

Forgive my rambling if this was incoherent.

Edit: so I wrote all that, laid down to sleep and sat right back up because I forgot something important. I desperately want to know what it is Rudolf keeps trying to bring up with Battler and Kyrie. He's tried bringing it up multiple times across the series and keeps getting interrupted by either dying or just not being allowed to take part in the plot any more. I reckon it's got something to do with Battler's birth mother, but the poor guy just keeps getting stopped every time he tries to bring up this plot element. Let the guy speak!

[official-kenralie-fanbase]

after i sent you that asl i realized how much more fun it would be if Oralie was alive during this whole thing, the plot mainly focused on forkle completely losing his mind to obsession over his brother and in turn finding Josie but i’m starting to think also having it be about both girls bonding with Oralie and having Oralie build a relationship with Josie’s (the twin) mom Regaila.

another thing about Josie her is actually kinda curly, identical twins  having a slightly different hair texture can happen with identical twins i’ve seen it before.

pros of Oralie being alive

i was originally making a pros and cons list but convinced myself in the process

Sophie and Josie having opposing parallels with Josie’s genuinely trusting afterlife finding out Oralie is their bio mom while sophie hated her afterwards

the drama that would caused by Josie’s mom being a pyrokintic, who BTW doesn’t have a problem with Josie building a relationship with her bio mom because she’s not worried about Josie loving Oralie more (that’s a genuine worry that some adoptive parents have but it’s SO overused, your kid can have more than one set of parents that they love)

dramatic scenes when it’s much more obvious that she’s their bio mom and the drama that would ensue from that, people wondering if the general public will figure it out (Oralie is forced to step down?)

Josie having doubts about Oralie even caring about her because she was an accident on the black swans end (her abilities are wonky because of it) and thinking that Oralie wouldn’t have done it i’d she had know that there would be twins

i can write a bio parent bonding with their bio child the way i’ve always wanted it to be written. keeping the adoptive parents still the parents and not having the relationship with the bio parent seen as more important (it’s a pet peeve of mine i’ll save the rant for another time)

i want Fintan to be their Bio dad and Josie knows and let’s it slip, cue drama, angery bronte yelling at Josie because she should have known it would upset Oralie because of Kenric, Josie loses control of her inflicting (which is highly unstable), and says she doesn’t even know who Kenric is (she grew up in the neutral territories) and that’s a whole thing because Bronte feels bad.

Keefe Sophie Joise and Oralie confront Frokle about something (Fintan?) and he has another breakdown (he’s slowly losing it throughout this fic) and ends up attacking sophie Oralie defends her and takes all three kids back to her castle in a panic

the last scene having Oralie protecting both girls from the everblaze (it’s important to the story ALSO parallels) possibly sacrificing herself? Forkle also dies in that scene so maybe to much?

most of the people in my family are adopted while i’m not one of them i still have STRONG feelings about how adoption is written, Shannon did amazingly and i will forever adore her ability to write adoption well without having the plot centered around adoption. i would honestly want to expand on that.

Ahh YES

Just... yes to every single word

First off, Forkle losing his mind to obsession? And Oralie defending her kids? Okay YES. And then her sacrificing herself to save them from the Everblaze is also YES- and something that I really actually think might happen in the book.

This sounds amazing backwards and forwards. I LOVE the Fintan-is-Sophie's-dad theory (if anyone wants to hear it I could go into heavy detail on why I think he's the only possibility that really makes sense, but I know that's a topic that's been discussed a lot). So even if it's not canon I would love it in this AU. And Josie being a pyrokinetic? And Oralie having to deal with that after what happened with Kenric? Yes!

And I love what you said about adoption! I also love the way Shannon handled it. But since you're someone who has adopted family members I'm glad it is handled well from your perspective.

Any questions you have or things you want to work out (especially characterization/development surrounding Oralie) send them my way! I love when people talk about their AUs so anyone else that has one/any other AUs you end up having feel free to invade my inbox at any time!

[rosemaidenvixen]

A Secret’s Worth

Chapter 16: Walter

Ao3

Over the years Strickler had lost track of how many times another changeling had made a joke about how it must rankle him to teach history that he knew was false from firsthand experience. 

But what most other changelings didn’t realize was that between ineffective funding and highly biased textbooks he’d be teaching falsehoods one way or another.

The truly ironic thing about being a changeling educator was being forced to leave out key events responsible for shaping the modern world as they knew it that no human was aware even occurred.

“Can anyone tell me who the final king of Camelot was?”

The predictable grouping of hands went up; Claire Nuñez, Seamus Johnson, Darci Scott, Eli Pepperjack. He had no doubt that they all knew the correct answer, maybe it was time to check that one of his less alert students was still mentally present in some capacity.

“Ms. Longhannon?”

The girl in question jerked her gaze away from the window “Wha?”

A chorus of snickers came up from around her. Shannon flushed.

“We were discussing the final ruler of Camelot, Ms. Longhannon,”

“Oh….that was King Arthur…..right?”

He smiled “Correct,”

Pressing a button on the remote in his palm, Strickler switched the view on the projector to a timeline extending from the years 400 to 1200 “The Pendragon Empire, founded by Uther Pendragon in the fifth century, lasted until the early twelfth century, ending during the upheaval surrounding the death of his descendent, Arthur Pendragon. A large part of the chaos after Arthur’s death was due to the fact that Arthur left no immediate heirs apparent. That combined with crumbling infrastructure and opportunistic invasions from neighboring nations is what led to the fracturing of the empire,”

Strickler paused as the soft scratching of pencils on paper filled the room.

Neighboring nations, what drivel, it was enough to make any self respecting changeling want to laugh and vomit at the same time.

Granted, Strickler himself hadn’t been present for Camelot’s true downfall. He’d been a young changeling back then, trying to sell a remote clan of Slavic trolls on the benefits of an alliance with the Gumm Gumms.

He hadn’t succeeded. But in the end it turned out rather moot.

No, that was putting it far too mildly. It had taken over a century for the Janus Order to recover from the chaos; setting their goals back by nearly a millennium.

Arthur might have lost the battle against his kingdom falling, but the victory he’d gained in the war was exponentially greater.

He’d prevented the extinction of the entire human race.

Strickler shut his eyes and pulled in a deep breath to ground himself back in the present as the last few students finished taking their notes.

No. 

Not prevented. Delayed.

“Your final project will be done in groups, each group will be assigned a single century during the Pendragon empire and will put together a presentation summarizing the events and the impact of your assigned century. This presentation should last twenty minutes and we will be doing them in class at the end of the month,” 

The entire room broke out into groans. 

Strickler chuckled good naturedly “Consider it a small price to pay for not having any work over spring break, now I want you all to break into your groups, three to five people each, and have one member select your century, and enough rubrics for all of you,” he gestured towards the small slips of papers on his desk sitting next to a fat stack of rubrics “The rest of the hour will be in class work time, so I suggest you get started,”

There was a shuffle of desks and sneakers as the students settled into their groups, a handful darting up and snatching their centuries and rubrics under Strickler’s keen eye. Had to make sure everyone settled into proper groups and keep track of who was working on what century after all. He waited until things had nearly settled down before speaking up again.

“Jim Lake,”

The boy in question started in his seat, both him and his groupmates turning and looking at Strickler inquisitively.

“Yeah?”

“Do you mind stepping outside with me for a moment?”

Based on his expression Jim certainly minded quite a bit, a gauntness present in his features that hadn’t been there a month ago, but he stood from his chair all the same “Ok….sure,”

Strickler ignored the course of oohs that filled the room as Jim headed over to meet him at the door. Only after he had stepped out and closed the door behind them, the two alone in the hallway, did Strickler speak again.

“Jim, I’ve been monitoring your behavior these past few weeks, and quite frankly I’m concerned,”

Someone less observant and experienced at the art of subterfuge would have missed the subtle way Jim’s shoulders stiffened, the flicker of panic on his face before it settled into a calm veneer.

But Strickler missed nothing.

Jim forced out an uncomfortable laugh “Well...uh, sorry to worry you, but I’m totally fine,”

Strickler had to bite back a sigh. It looked like Jim, not unexpectedly, had decided to be evasive; no matter. In that case the only thing to do was strike at the heart of the issue, bluntly and without delay.

He whipped a comb out of his front pocket; cheap and still sealed in its plastic packaging, but very fine toothed, holding it out in front of him “I want you to run this through your hair,”

Blinking, Jim stared at the comb and then back up at Strickler “....are you serious?”

“Humor me,”

Looking more confused than anything else, Jim slowly took the comb, pulled it from its wrapper, and ran it through his hair once before promptly handing it back “There, is that all? Because I need to--”

“Jim. Look at the comb.”

He did, all the color instantly draining from his face.

From end to end the comb’s teeth were stuffed to the brim with short, black hairs.

“Your hair is falling out.” Strickler’s tone brooked no questioning. He wasn’t asking, he was stating a fact “So do not tell me that everything is fine. If everything were fine you wouldn’t be losing your hair from stress,”

Of course there were plenty of non-stress related medical conditions that could cause a sixteen year old boy to start losing his hair, but Strickler found that his intuition was rarely wrong.

Jim hadn’t so much as twitched, standing frozen in place, eyes wide and locked on the comb.

Strickler let out a sigh and tossed the comb into a nearby trash can “I’m going to be frank with you Jim, I know CPS is investigating your family,”

Now that got a reaction, Jim snapping his head up, breathing quick and shallow, voice tight with pure panic “You do!?”

“Keep your voice down, yes, the investigator called the school with a few questions,” Strickler saw no reason to bring up the fact that he had been the one to make the initial call, much less that he had done so at the behest of Mr. Domzalski.

“But I’m not going to ask about that. That case is a matter between your family and the state, now if you want to talk I am more than willing to listen, but I’m not going to pry into your family’s private matters,”

Just like that the wind went out of his sails. Jim practically going limp, swaying on his feet overcome with relief. But before he could relax too much, Strickler was talking again.

“That being said, in the weeks that the investigation has been going on, I have become seriously troubled by your behavior,”

“What...behavior...are you talking about?”

“You’re anxious and unfocused, I’ve caught you nodding off in class no fewer than three times in the past week. And this is pure speculation on my part, but I don’t think you’ve been getting nearly enough to eat, which could be contributing to your hair loss,”

Squirming under his scrutiny, Jim ran a shaky hand through his hair, before he quickly realized what he was doing and pulled it away “Ok things have been hard… and maybe I’ve missed a meal or two...but I’ve just...really been focusing on keeping my grades up,”

It was true. Strickler happened to know for a fact that Jim was pulling all A’s in every subject. But while that was a fact it certainly wasn’t the whole truth.

“You’re grades are exceptional, and normally I would applaud you for being so diligent with your studies, but I get the feeling you’ve been hyperfocusing on your schoolwork in order to avoid dealing with the other problems in your life,”

From the way Jim flinched at his words, breath catching in his throat, Strickler knew he’d struck the truth. 

“Look...I...I know that there’s a lot going on, but I swear I can handle it,”

“Jim--”

“I promise it’s really not that bad,”

“Not that bad? For goodness sake Jim, your hair is falling out!”

The boy had no response to that, downcast eyes locked on the floor, unable to meet Strickler’s gaze.

Squaring his shoulders, Strickler clasped his hands together and netted his fingers in front of him. Bluntness had served its purpose in this conversation, now it was time for the olive branch “With everything going on in your life I imagine it must feel like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders,”

“Yeah,” Jim mumbled “Something like that,”

Strickler gave him a small smile “Have you heard of the greek myth of Atlas?

Jim looked up at that “No….should I have?”

“Atlas was a titan that took part in the war between the gods and titans, and when the titans lost Atlas was condemned to hold up the sky for all eternity,”

“Okay…but what does that have to do with...me?”

“In the myth Atlas alone bore the weight of the entire world on his shoulders, but Jim, you aren’t Atlas. However heavy your burden is, you don’t have to bear it alone. The faculty here can put you in touch with some excellent counselors and--”

“Actually I really don’t need anything like that,” Jim stepped around him and tried to go back into the classroom “And I should really be getting started on--”

“Jim.” Strickler allowed a trace of stone to creep into his voice “We are not done talking.”

The boy froze midstep, slowly turning back towards him with clear hesitation.

Once Jim was facing him again Strickler cleared his throat and started over “The purpose of counselors and therapists isn’t to scrutinize you or your family, but to give you tools and resources, coping mechanisms to help you better deal with the struggles life throws at you. And before you ask, no, you don’t have to talk about the investigation with them either,”

Jim’s mouth abruptly twisted into a scowl “If I don’t have to talk to them then why should I bother...even….”

He trailed off once he noticed Strickler’s expression, the boy couldn’t possibly see down to the depths of Strickler’s true thoughts, but he clearly saw something that gave him pause.

“...sorry,” Jim muttered, looking down and away.

Strickler just stared back at him evenly.

One didn’t survive as a high school teacher without developing a thick skin in regard to teenage impertinence. But this kind of snide back talk was far more in line coming from Steve, or even Seamus. Hearing it from Jim it was...troubling.

Not wasting any more time, Strickler pulled a sticky note out of his pocket and held it out “Here are a few of the counselors and therapists that I most recommend, but if you want more options let me know and I can get you a complete list,”

Jim didn’t move, arms not so much as twitching from their position at his sides. Staring at the note with a sour expression on his face.

“I’m not going to force you to go see any of them, but you will take their contact information and keep it,” One of Strickler’s eyebrows quirked up “Unless of course accepting the contact information of guidance counselors and therapists would put you at risk for some reason? If that is the case I certainly wouldn’t want to put you in any danger, but I would need to know exactly what kind of danger you would be in,”

Jim chewed on his lip, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.

Strickler held his gaze, kept his hand extended, and waited.

Finally after what must have been a solid minute, Jim reluctantly reached up and took the note. Tucking it into his pocket under Strickler’s close scrutiny “Can I go back in now?”

Strickler frowned. He was not pleased with how this had turned out. Despite his best efforts the boy seemed dead set on refusing every helping hand extended his way. But as the saying went, one could lead a horse to water, but can’t make them drink. The only thing to do was continue to offer the water and hope one day he bent his head and accepted.

“You can, but please remember, as a teacher it’s not just my job to educate you, myself and every other staff member in this building has an obligation to look after your wellbeing, so please don’t forget that, young Atlas,”

Jim rolled his eyes “Yeah, sure,”

Strickler frowned; darker, harder this time, Jim shrinking under the force of his gaze. Brusqueness gone as quickly as it had come. 

“I...I’m sorry…”

It wasn’t as though Strickler was losing his patience with the boy, compared to his dealings with the order’s underlings this was as relaxing as a day at the spa. Rather he was becoming increasingly concerned by Jim’s uncharacteristic outbursts.

Despite Jim’s best efforts to bury his troubles and pretend that they didn’t exist, his woes were finding their way to the surface one way or another.

“More people care about you than you know Jim,”

Strickler was suddenly struck by inspiration. For whatever reason Jim wasn’t comfortable reaching out to Strickler, or any other adult it seemed. Perhaps the idea was to appeal to his peer relationships.

“Like your friends,”

He gestured towards the window in the classroom door, at cluster of five desks with four students at them in particular “You happen to be graced with a group of companions who would go to the ends of the earth to help you, not everyone can be so fortunate,”

Strickler turned his head slightly, trying to gauge Jim’s reaction. But to his shock, rather than looking relieved or even uncertain, something hard and inscrutable had settled over Jim’s face.

“Yeah, they would wouldn’t they,”

The boy’s tone cinched it. Strickler had accomplished all that he could for today, pushing Jim any further right now would do more harm than good.

With only a pang of reluctance, Strickler opened the door and allowed Jim back inside, following shortly after.

He went over to his desk to grade quizzes while the students worked for the rest of the hour, Jim taking his seat at the cluster of desks, rejoining his companions and enmeshing himself in their project.

Despite his best efforts to file this incident in the back of his mind, Strickler found himself dwelling on his brief interaction with Jim. Keeping a subtle eye on him and his group. 

Strickler had been doing this for a very long time and found that for good or for ill, his intuition was rarely wrong. 

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink, only keep offering and hope one day he bent his head and accepted it. And Strickler’s intuition was telling him that Jim would break before he ever bent.

[woodchoc-magnum]

Even if the writers build up the Ana/Eddie relationship with actual thought and care, do you still want Ana to fuck off

Yeah man, she’s in the way of my ship! 😉

But for real - she’s been in three episodes (and she had one line in Eddie Begins which doesn’t count) so far. At this stage, I don’t know anything about her to form a positive opinion. And if she keeps calling him “Edmundo”, I’m never going to like her.

If they actually do develop her (which I highly doubt) - I’m going to have to adjust my attitude a little, sure, but... this is the show that had Eddie try to get back with Shannon only to have her ask him for a divorce and then die all in the same episode. Like... this show does not fuck around. If they wanted to introduce Ana properly, they could’ve done it the way David was introduced to Michael in Season 3.

Instead we’ve got this weird... teacher fetish “Edmundo” bullshit which nobody thinks is cute and I feel like that’s for a reason.

If she hangs around and is well-developed and the chemistry is there, I might change my mind - never say never. We’ll see.

[station-118]

The first words we say, Part Three

Soulmate AU!!!!!! Because I’m a sucker for them honestly!

Evan Buckley x Reader x Eddie Diaz

Y/N: your name

Summary: everyone has a soulmate; some even have two. You just happen to be one of the lucky few who have two soulmates. But you don’t see it as luck, no you’ve only ever seen it as a curse. And now you’ve come face to face with one of your soulmates!

Part One Part Two Part Three

It’s been several weeks since you and Buck got your shit together and finally started talking to each other. Since your heart to heart in the locker room Buck has taken you out on several dates, and each one was amazing. The two of you were taking it slow, just trying to get to know each other. And you couldn’t have been happier. Life was amazing. Between work, and the family you’d made with your coworkers, and having one of your soulmates in your life, things where going great.

The only problem was your parents. They hadn’t left LA. And they seemed determined to ruin your life. They would show up at the most inopportune times. They’d show up at your calls, and just standing there in the crowd glaring at you and your team. They’d wait for you outside the station, which meant you had to have Buck and Bobby walk you to your car after work. They even showed up at your apartment on several occasions. They would bang on your door for an hour before giving up and going away.

Any time they got the chance they’d yell at you and call you names. The last straw had been when you where leaving work one day, and your parents had confronted you, Buck, and Bobby. Things had gotten heated pretty quickly, and your dad had backhanded you across the face. Which sent both Bobby and Buck into a rage. Buck had managed to get a punch in, and Bobby was about to throw one of his own when Chimney and Hen had stepped in and pulled them back.

After that Bobby had taken you straight to his soulmate, Athena, who was a cop. He had you explain everything about your parents to her and how they’d been harassing you. She helped you get a restraining order on your parents, and now they weren’t allowed within 200 feet of you.

But other than the stuff with your parents everything was going great. And you where actually starting to look forward to meeting your other soulmate. You still had some anxiety about it. Hell you still had some anxiety about being with Buck. But whenever you started to doubt yourself Buck would step in and make sure you knew just how much he cared about you. So yeah, you where looking forward to meeting this other soulmate. And as fate would have it your other soulmate was going to be working at the station as well.

It started off as any other day. You went through your usual morning routine, morning run, showering, and breakfast, then headed off for work. You and Buck would meet up in the parking lot outside the station, share a quick hello kisses, then the two of you would head into the station together hand in hand. The two of you exchanged the usually banter with the other firefighters of the station as you made your way over to Bobby, Chim, and Hen.

The second you guys reached them Buck started gushing about the firefighter calendar and how he was going to be picked for it. But then Chim had caught sight of the new recruite behind you and Buck, drawing everyone’s attention to the man with his comment about how good looking the man was. And you couldn’t help but stare. The man was gorgeous, tall, dark haired, and had abs for days. You felt horrible for thinking this way when one of your soulmates was standing next to you. But damn was the man good looking. And something about him just seemed to draw you in.

“Who the hell is that?” Buck questioned, scowling at the man.

He didn’t like the way everyone was paying attention to the new guy, especially you. But he couldn’t help but admit to himself that the guy was defiantly gorgeous as all hell, and he could have stood there all day staring at the man’s abs. Which left him feel highly confused. He hadn’t even looked at anyone in that way since you and him had started officially dating. So why was he staring at this man like that when you where standing right next to him?

“That’s Eddie Diaz, new recruit graduated top of his class just this week. Guys over at Station 6 were dying to have him, but I convinced him to join us,” Bobby stated proudly, even sounding a bit smug.

“What do we need him for?” Buck asked, annoyance seeping into his voice.

Hen and Chim snickered at his obvious jealousy, and even Bobby couldn’t help but smile at Buck’s antics.

“He served multiple tours in Afghanistan as an Army medic. Guy’s got a Silver Star. It’s not like h’s wet behind the ears. Come on, I’ll introduce you to him. He likes to be called eight pack,” Bobby joked.

He moved off towards Eddie, and everyone followed after him.

“Eddie, I want you to meet Hen, Chimney, Buck, and Y/N,” Bobby introduced, patting the man on the shoulder.

“Hey, nice to meet all of you,” Eddie exclaimed, smiling brightly at all of you.

You gasped as you felt a slight burning pain over your heart, and you heard a gasp from Buck. You glanced over at Buck for a second with wide eyes, and your expression was mirrored on his face.

“Oh shit!” “Son of a bitch!” You and Buck exclaimed at the same time.

Eddie gasped, a hand going to his chest where his soul marks where and he stared at the two of you with the same look of shock that you and buck had. Bobby, Hen, and Chim where looking between the three of you in disbelief.

“Holy shit! Did what I think just happen, happen?” Hen questioned.

“I think so,” Chim muttered.

Bobby couldn’t help but smile like a damn fool. You and Buck had been like his surrogate kids and he was so happy for the both of you when you two finally got your shit together and started dating. And now you two had found your other soulmate. And he couldn’t help but feel a little smug that he’d been the one to unintentionally bring your soulmate into the station and to you.

“Well I think the three of you have some things to discuss. Why don’t we all head up to the loft, and the three of you can hang out on the couch and talk while I get breakfast ready,” Bobby suggested.

You, Buck, and Eddie just nodded your heads and followed him up to the loft. You where silently freaking out. For the past several weeks you’d been dying to meet your other soulmate. But now that he was standing before you, that familiar doubt was starting to eat at you. Thoughts about how you weren’t good enough kept running through your head, and you where ready to turn and run right out of the station.

Buck sensed your growing distress and he gently grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks. His hand came up to your face, and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch. He looked you in the eyes, trying to figure out your state of mind. Neither of you had noticed that Eddie had stopped walking the second he’d noticed the two of you had stopped walking.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. Remember what I’ve told you. You are not a disappointment, you are not messed up, and you are not a burden! It’s going to be okay,” Buck stated, maintaining eye contact with you.

You nodded your head, and took a deep breath trying to stop the flow of bad thoughts. Buck pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you protectively and you melted in his hold. Eddie watched the two of you in confusion. He had no idea what was going on, but he knew something bad must have happened to you based off of what he heard Buck say to you.

“I’m good now Buck, thank you,” You whispered, pulling out of his hold.

He smiled down at you and gave you a quick kiss. Then the two of you laced your fingers together and turned towards Eddie. You held your hand out to him, which he took, and the two of you lead him up to the loft. It was a slow morning thankfully, and the three of you spent the time talking, getting to know each other.

You told Eddie about your parents and all that they had done to you, both in the past and present. To say he was mad was an understatement, he was completely furious, and he knew if he ever came face to face with your parents he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from hitting one or both of them.

After you and Buck had told him about yourselves he told the both of you about himself. He told you both how when he was younger he had dated a woman named Shannon and how he’d gotten her pregnant and the two had a kid named Christopher. He told you two about how despite knowing that she wasn’t his soulmate and he wasn’t hers the two of them stuck together for years for Christopher. He told you both about how shortly after he left the Army Shannon left, abandoning him and Christopher. He then told the two of you all about Christopher, and both of you where eager to meet Christopher. It was obvious how much Eddie loved his son, and it warmed your heart to watch him gush about the boy.

The rest of the shift was pretty quiet, with only a few calls here and there, including a guy who got a grenade stuck in his thigh. When the shift was over Eddie took the both of you back to his place so you could meet Christopher. And the boy was just as amazing and adorable in person as he was in Eddie’s stories. Christopher took an instant liking to you and Buck.

Sitting there in Eddie’s house, watching your two soulmate talk and play with Christopher, it finally really and truly sunk in. You deserved to be happy. You weren’t some broken thing undeserving of love. And this was your family, one you wouldn’t give up for anything in the world.

“You okay?” Buck asked, sitting down next to you.

“I’m fine. Just realizing how much I love you guys,” You whispered, smiling up at him.

His smile was bright and made your heart speed up. Suddenly you had an arm full of Christopher, who’d decided to give you the biggest hug he possibly could.

“We love you too Y/N!” He proclaimed, arms wrapping around your neck.

Eddie sat down on your other side, and it turned into a group hug. Yeah, you could defiantly get used to this. This is where you belonged, and you where so happy that you hadn’t let your fears keep you from your soulmates…

[thesimplyluxuriouslife]

279: 15 Life Lessons Learned during my First Year into my 40s

True contentedness is unremarkable to the outside world, or passerby.

Typing away in my cozy chair in the living room in my line of sight Norman eats his breakfast and Oscar acknowledging he will not be able to sneak a bite, takes a long cool drink of water. The croissant for my Sunday morning ritual is proofing in the oven and Sunday Baroque's weekly program fills my home.

Even having lost an hour of the day, I have decided to wake up with the sunset and use the dawn-filled hour to work early before we are able to go for our morning stroll in the woods. All is well, and so much surrounds me for which to be grateful.

I began the morning reading Maria Shriver's weekly email newsletter, and in particular this morning's letter resonated with me, and most likely would you as well as a reader of TSLL. I've included an excerpt below as she describes a moment in which she felt, albeit unexpectedly, truly and sincerely content.

"Over the last few years, I’ve settled into myself. I’ve focused more on my blessings and what I’m doing well rather than my shortcomings and what needs to be adjusted (something I highly recommend). As a result, everything in my mind has calmed down, and therefore my body has calmed down, too.  Today, my life finally feels centered, grounded, and solid. I feel like I’ve found my space and my place.

It was one of those profoundly simple, yet headshaking, moments of self-realization that no one ever really talks about. Sure, there are still things in life that give me anxiety (the coronavirus, the election, and Mother Nature as our neighbors in Nashville know all too well). But, through it all, I’ve been able to find my inner fortitude and soothe myself, something I’ve struggled with my entire life.

The truth is I never expected that the peace, joy or success that I chased my whole life would come to me when I was sitting alone, drinking coffee on my porch. I thought I was supposed to find that while giving speeches, accepting awards, and galvanizing change. That’s what our culture teaches us. It’s what infused into our beings at a very young age."

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that on this International Women’s Day, I’m a woman on my own path. I’m living my one wild, precious, joyful and meaningful life. In the end, my friends, that’s what galvanizes true change. Watching, witnessing and being in community with people who are following their authentic paths is what changes the world one breath at a time. I thought of that every time I washed my hands this week and it made me smile.

So, follow your heart personally, professionally, and politically. Because, when you do, you will discover the feeling I felt the other morning. You will find yourself saying to no one in particular, “Wow, I’m good just the way I am.” —Maria Shriver in her 3/8/2020 letter from the editor of The Sunday Paper newsletter

I realize the excerpt above was long, but hopefully, as it did me, it reassured as to what living well truly is. It's simple and intentional. It's internal and individual. It is purpose driven and intangible. It is also experiential and tactile. It requires of us to be present to be engaged with our world acknowledging much needs us to let go, but so too must we stay involved and aware. It is the daily practice of elevating our daily life by how we walk and open our eyes and minds to all that is around us and that is possible.

Each year when my birthday rolls around, here on the blog, I share a reflection of some sort of life lessons, aha moments and discoveries about the world found along my journey. To share, as well, admittedly, as a way to preserve my own growth, my hope is to prompt introspection amongst readers as sometimes, maybe even often, we do not realize all ways in which we have grown as it can sometimes be hard to see when we are the ones walking through the world each day.

I have yet to share my life lessons for my 41st birthday which fell during the final week of February, so I wanted to take today's episode/post to reflect.

1.Dreams, hopes, wishes can indeed materialize so long as we never let them go, we keep making small, yet steady progress, and keep refusing to not believe it can happen.

2. Clear, respectful, honest communication is to be treasured and a necessary ingredient for healthy relationship of all types.

3. Setting personal boundaries is a reflection of your recognition of your innate self-worth which will cause your self-esteem to grow.

4. Giving yourself closure on the past is healthy and necessary for being able to fully move forward. Your closure need not make sense to anyone else but yourself, but give yourself this gift of freedom.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B2aF0dpArA7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

5. Some friends, family and/or colleagues may not be able to travel with you into your next life chapter as you choose to grow and evolve or your life simply asks of you to travel a different way or in a different way. Letting go need not be dramatic or radical or even known, but rather a natural going about life's path perhaps to meet again at some other time or maybe not. And that is okay and healthy as it shows awareness of the social support that you need to be well.

6. Give yourself permission to be excited about your life journey, your everyday moments and just be giddy. Let your endorphins soar naturally and see your daily life experience improve as well.

7. Say yes to opportunities that cross your path but out of schedule with when you had hoped they might arrive. My trip to Paris and Normandy was not expected nor planned. In fact, I had told myself I would take at least a year off before returning to Paris since my trip in 2018; however, when an invitation arrived to return in 2019, I had to say yes, and all that I learned, experienced, savored and learned some more was more than evidence that I made the right decision.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BzbTLLVg2zl/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

8. Less truly can bring more into your life. The unexpected discovery of my now home and sanctuary which is half the size of the home I owned previously is precisely what I instinctively knew I needed to live well. Less to decorate, but what I choose can be investments that will last. Less to clean, so I have more time to explore and create on the weekends, a perfectly medium size yard and petite garden, but exactly what I enjoy to have Mother Nature at my fingertips without a requirement of more time than I can give.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B5qY6P5giC9/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

9. Mother Nature, moving my feet in Mother Nature, is my creative muse and her gifts are priceless. While I walk nearly everyday outside on the trails in Bend or near the river that runs through Bend, even walking in San Francisco when I needed to get outside, I did so and saw the famed parrots of the Telescope Hill, and oh what a delight. Inspiration is everywhere when we step out into the fresh air.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B5gCmyiAqRb/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

10. My dogs have been for the past 15 years and are my companions in this journey of my life as they let me be "Shannon", provide company as well as freedom, yet keep me grounded as well. Savoring every moment with my two elder gentlemen.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B6y1EUage_B/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

11. Cooking, creating in the kitchen, is to play and forever be learning and savoring everyday moments.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B2r3OEjApER/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

12. Love really does live on inside you even after someone dearly loved passes away.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B4nBcJVgAj_/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

13. Host that dinner party you've been wanting to have. You may just bring beautiful moments and new connections to your guests that they will appreciate more than you will ever know. (read: 10 Ideas Gleaned & Confirmed from my Last Dinner Party, and be sure to check out my first book for details and a menus for hosting a successful gathering.)

https://www.instagram.com/p/By08-OWAsos/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

14. Traveling with my mom created memories of getting to know each other as where we are now in our lives and wonderful shared experiences that I will never forget. Check out our trip to San Francisco. We also had the opportunity to go to Oregon's Garden which exceeded my expectations and opened my eyes even further to my mom's love and knowledge of "green-thumb" life.

https://www.instagram.com/p/By4ciypgFcu/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxVse9XA71H/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

15. Continue to follow your heart, its inklings, its tugs, its curiosities, and you will never be led astray. Even when it doesn't make sense to you, even when you do not have a model to forge the path before you traverse it, your insurance is that it is your heart leading the way. I am reminded of Julia Child's quote which she expressed on the penultimate and onto the final page of her memoir My Life in France.

"In Paris in the 1950s, I had the supreme good fortune to study with a remarkably able group of chefs. From them I learned why good French food is an art, and why it makes such sublime eating: nothing is too much trouble if it turns out the way it should. Good results require that one take time and care. If one doesn't use the freshest ingredients or read the whole recipe before starting, and if one rushes through the cooking, the result will be an inferior taste and texture . . . But a careful approach will result in a magnificent burst of flavor, a thoroughly satisfying meal, perhaps even a life-changing experience." —Julia Child

While Julia is directly speaking of her experience in the culinary world of Paris, she indirectly and perhaps most significantly speaks to how to live life well. Invest, have patience, do your homework, and trust the co-mingling of those who know more than you about topics which you love as well as your own passions and curiosities. Beautiful art, the art of life, your life, can materialize in its own time and in its own unique way.

May this birthday year offer insightful and inspired life lessons that elevate the quality of your everyday life even more and bring you all the more contentment, true contentment that you desire.

Petit Plaisir

~Dishing with Julia Child

~A Year in Flowers: Designing Gorgeous Arrangements for Every Season by Erin Benzakein

Tune in to the latest episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast

[cjostrander]

Thirty Seconds to Mars: AMERICA

Good morning everyone; i was nicely surprised by the response for my last review of Rammstein’s latest album. So i’m gonna go to another newer one that i never really gave a thorough listen. This is the latest album by Thirty Seconds to Mars and is their final release with their long time guitarist Tomo Milicevic. It seems he departed for personal issues as vague as that is but since they haven’t replaced him maybe there’s wiggle room for him to return down the road. From what i’ve gotten this album takes a venture into a more pop direction than the experimental rock of previous releases. I am going in blind so let’s get started and hopefully it’s an overlooked gem.

Walk on Water (Single): Okay so all the album singles are going to hit you right away. It starts with some low synths and worldly vocal segments that are meant to give the song an ambitiously motivational pop foundation. Jared is not bad vocally but keeps things very basic lyrically. Instrumentally it fits decent for a pop setting that could be danced to somewhat; though it does lack the artistic complexity of any of their previous work. So i am guessing this album is venturing for a less is more mainstream approach. The use of backing choir elements is a good touch for playing on the song’s atmospheric tendencies. The drums are okay and if they didn’t sound programmed it would bring elements of Radiohead and Fall Out Boy together in a odd but convincing combination. It is not a bad choice for opening the album up since it is a simple ease in for the listener that does contain some catchy elements to convince the listener to give them a chance. 7/10

Dangerous Night (Single): This next single begins with an emotionally compelling vocal entrance from Jared that delivers a stronger set of lyrics. They bring in some pop rock acoustics and combine it with synths to create an uplifting atmosphere. Because of that it still retains a minimalist approach that does manage to give him ample support. Though Jared’s lyrical flow is realistically the only thing that will make or break it for the listener; because the instrumentals otherwise wouldn’t have much to really bring attention to themselves. It does have a decent little synth interlude to build up a low key dance opportunity; but nothing more than that. I will give them props for keeping most of the songs in the three minute range because they would feel a lot more drawn out in the 4 to 5 minute range. 7/10

Rescue Me (Single): The final single of this album begins with more of that pop rock guitaring that is nicely melodic till the drum loops arrive. Jared is left a little alone in terms of support since the instrumentals don’t truly seem to have what it takes to lift his otherwise promising vocal delivery. So far this album is setting itself up to be best listened to in the background instead of being analyzed like their previous work had the benefit of. Other than that this one doesn’t really bring in anything to the table in terms of being memorable let alone catchy. 5/10

One Track Mind (Featuring ASAP Rocky): The synths start this off on a blissfully soothing note and the muffled voice of the guest vocalist is a refreshing change of pace. Jared’s vocals are a bit processed but he manages to finally succeed in creating a very emotionally deep effect on the listener. He is supported minimally as expected on here but to a much more meaningful effect. This would be a decent one to play while winding down for bed at night. His lyrics are delivered very carefully and deliver a stronger sense of substance to the listener even though they are highly repetitive. This might of been a better pick for a single than Rescue Me but it really depends on how they sell it. The guest vocals show up towards the end and do a pretty good job of staying true to the intended sound of the song; while also lyrically paying tribute to the band. 8/10

Monolith: This minute and a half long number starts off with some drum beats that finally appear to build some classic tension for the following track. It may of been a good opener for the album to please their older fans since it makes use of solid harmonies and classical string elements. It combines with a blast riffs they used heavily on their last album. It is too short to score on this album but it helps to lift this album up a bit finally. 0/0

Love is Madness (Featuring Halsey): This one starts from the previous track into a dark and gloomy call and response duet between Jared and the guest vocalist. They actually do a really good job of working together without appearing to force it. They both grow rather ambitious in their delivery and use a strong diversity of energy to set a sense of tense conflict between the two singers. Because of this the lyrics prove to be some of the strongest on the album and contain a very compelling dose of catchiness. This is definitely a highlight on the album and a clear example of what their pop sound should be like on this album. 9/10

Great Wide Open: This song begins with a soothing loop open that creates a very compelling sense of blissful atmosphere. Jared arrives with a slightly gospel demeanor. He finally seems to be shaping the album’s pop approach into something that is finally engaging and understandable. The lyrics are pretty compelling and benefit a bit from the drawn out delivery; even if it risks feeling sluggish when overly analyzed. This and the last track would of been smart picks for singles. This one mainly because it demonstrates the compelling strength of Jared’s vocals and could bring some similarities to sound and spirit on This Is War (Reviewed). 9/10

Hail to the Victor: This track begins with a little more spacey approach. It explores a sense of emptiness and vulnerability before shifting into some more energizing drum beats. The stronger use of synths and distortion works decently to change things up; as well as add a sense of convincing emotion to Jared’s lyrics. It helps to set up a mood of conflict and rising to overcome it. I can see a better dance reaction to it since it is better suited for a live performance or late night club scene than most of their earlier tracks were. 8.5/10

Dawn Will Rise: We begin this track off with some soft electric riffs and french female vocals to give it a nice sense of artistic class. Synths arrive to slowly seep a danceable yet peacefully relaxing presence. Jared’s vocals feel a bit processed but deliver some sufficient lyrics to focus on while the song progresses. His vocals vibration can get a hair annoying but overall he does succeed in achieving a sense of catchiness that will enable the listener to appreciate this song. 8/10

Remedy: Acoustic riffs start off with an interesting rustic approach. I think Shannon Leto is singing on this one and his more rough approach fits rather nicely with the tone of this song and offers an interesting surprise for the listener to encounter. I definitely appreciate them changing things up with this track because it adds some diversity and helps to set the album up for a gradual conclusion. I actually wouldnt mind hearing a solo album from Shannon if this is in fact him on vocals. 8.5/10

Live Like a Dream: This track begins with a nicely soothing yet modestly energetic opening. This one sounds a bit more familiar to their older work. Jared demonstrates a masterful control over his vocals and helps to keep things feeling inspirational and interesting as the song progresses. He delivers a firm sense of catchiness without trying to take away the subtle impact from his instrumental support.  I definitely think a few more tracks like this on the album would of made their pop venture a bit easier to get into; though by this point they have pretty much returned to the sound of their last album instead of their intended mainstream soft pop. Kind of creates a damned if you do; damned if you don’t situation for them ha ha. 8.5/10

Rider: Here’s the finale track to the album and it begins rather softly with some audio backing before Jared arrives to deliver a wounded and compelling vocal presence. The acoustic riffs and drum loops create a rather nice ambiance that is cleverly complex and emotionally engaging. It helps to establish a very fulfilling sense of farewell to this album. 8.5/10

Overall album rating: 7.9/10

Even though this album had some lackluster bumps in the first half; the second half is very solid and will please their fan base if they give it a chance. Their attempt at more direct pop in the first half i don’t believe works really well for them; because of their emphasis on slowness and heavy complexity verses the faster and catchier elements that i believe pop requires. I wouldn’t mind it if they tried to incorporate a more successful dance element into the music but i feel that it wouldn’t be in the band’s nature otherwise they would end up sounding like a modern day Maroon 5. Still; i would still suggest giving it a listen in album sequence and see what you think. It’s going to be conflicted but that feeling alone should feel fitting coming from this band. Hopefully they learn from whatever input they got on this album and build on it for their next album; which i hope but doubt won’t take another 5 years to release.

[lolainblue]

Phoenix - Chapter 18

  “Wake the fuck up, Shan.”    Jared gave the end of the bed a hard kick and then went to open the heavy hotel drapes, letting in way more sunlight than I was ready for. A morning like a thousand others unfurled ahead of me. My brain hadn't engaged yet, and even though something tickled at the back of it like a firefly struggling in a Mason jar, I grabbed the nearest pillow and shielded my face.   “Shannon, why the fuck did you pass out in my room last night?” 

   Jared sounded irritated, and the little firefly hurried its wings, furiously bumping against the glass. There was a thick coating on my mouth and tongue and my nose and eyes burned. I took the pillow away from my face and went to sit up but the room lurched and my head pounded, so I laid back down with a groan. I tried to reach through the fog of my memory to figure out why I felt like this but there was nothing. What the fuck had I done last night? Why?    Jared started digging through his things and tossing them around the room, making as much noise as possible and swearing at me under his breath the entire time. That wasn't new either, but that tickle wouldn't go away.    “If I was here last night, where were you?” I mumbled into the pillow on my face.    “What?” Jared yanked the pillow away and I blinked at him before fumbling fruitlessly at the bedside table, hoping for a pair of shades.    “If I was here last night, then where were you?” I repeated.    Jared growled. “You know where I was. What the fuck is wrong with you?”   I turned that over in my head for a moment. Did I know? I thought back to the last thing I could remember clearly, which was Jared telling me he wouldn't be having dinner with the rest of us because...    The little firefly fell into an exhausted heap on the sterile bottom of the mason jar. Jane. Jane was here. Jane was here to be with Jared.    Things started falling quickly into place after that. I knew I had told him I didn't want to see them together but that was months ago. I had to get over it sooner or later and I'd done a good job of putting her out of my mind before she showed up at that party. I should be able to do it again, right? But that was a lot different than having her show up and date my brother. So I had dealt with it the way I dealt with any other complex emotion, which was to say, like an irresponsible, self-destructive, idiot. I had grumbled and told him it was fine then ran off to get completely bombed.    Snippets of the previous evening filtered in like photographs from a crime scene. I had decided it was time to get back on the horse, so I'd gone out and find myself two. Women that is. Someone pointed me at a club that a lot of models hung out in, and I hooked a pair pretty much as soon as I walked through the door and started throwing money around. They were gorgeous and eager, and only one of them spoke a word of English. The other one had just whispered and giggled into her friend's ear all evening. I'd have ditched English Speaking Girl if she hadn't been the one doing the translating, she had the personality of wet sponge cake, but the giggling one was sort of adorable and so I had ridden out the evening. Besides, Giggly Girl had a truly spectacular pair of tits that I couldn't wait to see bouncing on top of me, so I had persevered.    I don't think I actually intended to end up with both of them, I think I had just meant to keep my options open. The actual chain of events was a little blurry, but Annoying Friend met up with This Guy She Knew and the next thing I knew the drinks had been upgraded to a powder I hadn't even bothered to ask the identity of, and then things went from hazy to melt-y. We'd later smoked something together that, to my growing distress, I highly doubted was either nicotine or weed, oh god what the fuck did I  do last night and then the only other thing I could clearly remember was a lot of naked girl flesh and the reason I had crawled in here at the crack of dawn. The girls were still passed out in my bed.    “Fuuuuuck,” I groaned, rolling over and slithering to the side of the bed. “What time is it?” I needed to get back to get rid of the girls and drink all the coffee I could find, followed by a bath in an entire hotel's worth of hot water.      “It's a little before ten. You've got about an hour and a half before we have to be at the radio station. Take a fucking shower first. You smell like an old gym bag.”    Jesus, this day was shaping up spectacularly. I excused myself with an indistinct grumble and stumbled back to my own room, praying every step of the way. I absolutely had to get myself together. Not only would Jared shit the bed if he found out what I had been up to last night, but I couldn't face Jane this way. I couldn't let her see me like this.    I figured the girls would still be asleep when I got back to my room but instead, Giggly Girl was sitting in the middle of my bed, playing with her phone. The bed had been stripped of what I presumed were the dirtiest of the sheets, and they lay in a pile at its foot. My visitor had straightened the rest of it and apparently showered and changed at some point. Considering the night we had she was impossibly fresh-faced and composed. I looked around for her companion, thinking perhaps she was in the bathroom but I found no one there when I checked.    “Uh... where's your friend?” I said slowly, hoping the words were simple enough the girl could pick out the meaning. “Amica?” I added hopefully.  The girl smiled and stood up, and I wondered why on earth I had been so fixated on her tits. I mean yeah, they really were amazing, perfectly shaped and gravity-defying in a way that natural ones rarely are, but the rest of her was spectacular too. She was leggy and athletic, probably an inch taller than me, with dark hair, a dazzling smile, and that beautiful light olive Mediterranean complexion that Italian girls seemed to always be gifted with. I had definitely chosen well last night. Too bad I couldn't remember most of it.    The girl had been making a phone call while I took her in and when it went through she handed it to me. “Uh, hello?” I said uncertainly into the receiver.    “Hey, Shannon,” came an accented voice on the other end that I recognized as the friend from last night. “I had to go to work today, but Viola is really into you and she wanted to hang out. I'll be back to meet up with her in time for the show.”   What? My brain screamed. I cannot have some random girl with me today... “No. No, that's not okay. I have things to do before the show,” I protested.   “Yeah, yeah, your ex. We know.” Oh fucking Christ, Shannon, what the hell did you tell them? “Sorry. I can't get back before then. You'll have to work it out with her. Ciao.”    The line went dead and I looked at Giggly Girl, or rather Viola. Her dark eyes blinked at me expectantly, and she looked so earnest. Inexplicably, I didn't want to let her down. She was having the strangest effect on me, like a puppy that was somehow at the same time crazy hot. I wished I could actually talk to her.    Hell, maybe having someone on my arm when I saw Jane again wasn't the worst idea. “Fine,” I said. “But you'll have to wait here while I got to an interview.”    Viola nodded, much to my surprise, and then pointed at the floor with a smile.    “You understood that?” She nodded again. “You understand but don't speak English then?”    “A little. Slow,” Viola said haltingly, her accent thick as she struggled with the two words. I could understand that level of language competency. I was the same way with French. I had been around it enough that if you spoke to me slowly I could get the general gist of what you were saying but I couldn't begin to form a sentence.    “Okay. Good. You'll stay with me when I come back?” I added in descriptive gestures as I went, walking with my fingers and pointing at the floor, and Viola smiled brightly as she gave me a vigorous nod of her head in return.    “Sì, certo!”    Well, this was going to be fun. “Okay then. I'm just going to grab a shower, then we'll order some coffee and get you breakfast.”    The bathroom was equipped with a multi-head shower system, and I stood under the hot flow until I thought my skin would start to peel. When I returned to the bedroom with a towel around my hips, I saw to my delight that Viola had apparently misunderstood me. There was a tray from room service waiting and the rich smell of hot Italian coffee tickled my nose. I kissed her on the cheek and she beamed back at me.    There were some fruits and pastries, sausages and few hard-boiled eggs. Not exactly the best hangover remedy but I was grateful for anything at that point. I quickly slipped on some pants, then I made a plate and sat down at the small hotel table across from Viola. She poured herself some black coffee and took a single strawberry, which she rolled between her fingers while simultaneously tapping away at her phone. After a few minutes, she thrust the phone at me.    I looked at the screen to see she had been typing away in Google Translate. She thanked me for letting her stay, then asked how long I would be gone and when we would see, “the girl”. I swallowed hard before typing my answer.    “I don't know,” I said as I handed the phone back to her, needing to say thing out loud even though I knew she didn't really understand. “I have to do a radio show, we're usually on the air for an hour or two with those. We should be back for lunch, then we'll have a little free time before we have to leave for sound check. I don't know when Jane is going to be here. Jared didn't tell me.”    Viola frowned at the screen. She popped the strawberry into her mouth, typed out a few sentences, then handed the phone back to me. As soon as her hands were free she pulled the utterly unscathed strawberry back out of her mouth and resumed rolling it between her fingers. It was odd, but considering she was probably a model, I didn't comment. I had seen enough weird eating habits out of models by now to know better than to say anything.   “I will stay until you return. Maybe nap. Long night.”   Long night was right. I could have slept through until tomorrow if I didn't have any other obligations. I considered it briefly anyway. Might have been worth it to see the fit Jared would have pitched, but then I thought of him running straight to Jane to bitch about it and I sobered up pretty fucking quick. I'd do the damn publicity bit.   The show ran a lot longer than I anticipated and it was nearly three in the afternoon before we returned to the hotel. Emma went to arrange tables for us at the in-house restaurant and I went upstairs to retrieve Viola. She was sound asleep on top of my freshly made bed, dark hair fanned across her face and pooling on the pale green bedspread underneath her. I felt another inexplicable wave of affection as I gently prodded her shoulder to wake her. She greeted me with a sleepy smile and I marveled at how she could wake up in such a good mood. Her disposition was sunny, but not in an annoying, perky sort of way, but more like chill and open. She was probably even better company if you spoke her language.    I was just thanking my lucky stars for the so far relatively Jane-free day when I spotted her, sitting at the table and chatting away with Tomo. That made sense, the two of them had gotten on famously when she had been with us before, and he was probably enjoying seeing her again. I put my hand at Viola's waist and steered her toward the table.   “Where's Jared?” I asked when I realized that Jane was there without him.    “He forgot something in the room,” Jane said, not even turning to look at me. “And hello, Shannon.”    I started to apologize when Viola said, haltingly, “Jane?”   Jane looked up, startled. “Viola?”    What followed was a rapid stream of Italian, which apparently Jane spoke fluently. I was as bewildered as I was mortified until I began to connect the dots. Roger. The models Jane had said she had made friends with. I wondered how many of my conquests these last few years had been friends of hers? I needed to stop fucking models.    “So, uh... you two know each other?” It was obvious, but I didn't know what else to say at that point. I was just desperate to stop the stream of Italian passing rapidly back and forth between the two of them.    “Yes. I used to hang out with Viola's older sister,” Jane explained.   Viola sat herself down next to Jane and I took a very uncomfortable seat next to Viola. I looked across the table to see Tomo fighting to keep a straight face. I let them chatter on for a moment, but when they began looking at each other then at me, I tried again to derail whatever was happening.    “So, I didn't know you spoke Italian.”    Jane seemed to take a breath before answering me. “Yes. I spent a lot of time in St. Moritz.” `   I digested that and then connected some more dots. “Oh yeah. You said Angus's family had a place there.” I didn't want to be the only one suffering in ex-hell right now, but I stopped short of asking how Angus was. I had promised not to be a dick this time, and really, I didn't want to hurt Jane any more than I already had. I figured a little dig would put us both on even footing. After all, that was where Angus had been hiding out, fucking air headed socialites while Jane thought he was hard at work in South Korea. A mention was probably more than enough.    Jane nodded and Viola asked her something and pointed at me.    “Shannon, Viola wants to know why we broke up and why you are so anxious to see me again. What should I tell her?”    “Jane, please...”   Jane shook her head and her expression softened. “It's all right, Shannon. I've got this.”    I don't know what she said to Viola, but it was long, and Viola listened intently before nodding her head, her expression sad. There was a little more back and forth while I squirmed and waited for someone to call me a name or throw something at me but nothing happened. The girls just continued to nod at each other soberly while casting me occasional glances. When Jane pointed at the hostess and they both nodded resolutely I finally snapped.    “Oh, for fuck's sake, will someone please tell me what is being said?”    The girls stopped instantly but said nothing. Instead, to my surprise, Viola put her hand over mine and kissed my cheek.    “Hey, what's going on?”    Jared's uncanny sense of timing had apparently activated and he slid into his seat, putting his arm around Jane and giving her a quick kiss. “Did anyone order yet? Who's your friend, Jane?”    I gave a sigh of the exhaustion I felt all the way into my soul. “She's...”   “Actually Shannon's date, but her sister and I use to hang out together when I was in Milan with Roger. Viola came along a few times. It's very nice to see her again.” Jane's voice was pleasant but she wasn't looking at me and I couldn't get a read on any of this. My stomach lurched, whether from the situation or after effects of last nights escapades, and I reached for the goblet of water on the table and downed most of it as I tried to think of a way out of this that didn't just get me in deeper shit. I decided it was probably best if I just shut up and ate.    I ended up tearing through a steak, my body desperate to replenish whatever I had run out of it the night before. Jane and Viola both ordered salads, but Jane got hers with grilled chicken and a bowl and soup and she ate all of it. Viola got hers with no dressing and ordered a bowl of clear broth, which she drank half of while she rearranged lettuce leaves on her plate.    We're going to have to have a talk about that if we're going to... Going to what, brain? Was I seriously considering seeing her again? Was I actually contemplating a relationship with someone who didn't even speak the same language as me? I told myself I was crazy but then Viola looked at me again and gave me that damn gentle, uncomplicated smile and I stopped.   It wasn't as if Viola had my undivided attention either. I had caught myself staring at Jane as she spoke, laughing while she caught up with Tomo, telling Jared about some crazy thing Roger had done, her delicate hands painting circles in the air. I was fascinated with those hands until I realized with a dizzy lurch why. I was watching her wrists for my bracelet. It wasn't there, and once I realized what I was doing I tore my eyes away, but not before Jane noticed and covered her wrist with her other hand and quickly moved it to her lap.    I decided I needed to get out of there before I did something even stupider. It wasn't as if Viola was actually eating, so I excused both of us and started back to my hotel room. Viola stopped at the hostess stand and had a quick conversation with the bleached blonde woman in the tuxedo shirt and slacks that stood there. Sweat broke out on my palms, but Viola waved me over to them.   “She wants to tell you something,” the hostess said. I realized that Jane must have been telling Viola that the woman could translate for her. I didn't have time to wonder why Jane hadn't before the hostess continued. “She says Jane asked her if she was dating you.”    I held my breath as Viola fed more information to the woman before she continued her translation. “She told Jane she only just met you, but that she liked you very much. Jane told her that she hoped you like her too. That Viola should be careful, but that you were capable of great love. She asked Viola not to tell you until you had gone, but that you had a way of wrapping a girl in your love and taking them to great heights. Of making them feel like they were the only person in the world for you. That Jane only wished you had been able to love her like that.”    All the wind went out of me as I looked at Viola's dark eyes, questioning but soft with sympathy. I turned back to the table but Jane was gone, slipped away so as not to have to view the effects of her confession. She had it all wrong. She had everything wrong and I needed to put it right.           @thepromiseofanend @msroxyblog @nikkitasevoli @llfd1977     @fyeahproudglambert @little-poptart @snewsome756 @guccilowell @monicasanoli @lady-grinning-soul-k @pandaliciouz  @lostinletoland @moody-by-nature        

[bookwyrminspiration]

TW// Drugs n such

you asked for it smh, but I've been thinking a lot about that one scene in Neverseen in Exilliums healing tent (or whatever its called)

I had a whole rant here about what the implication of this 'serum' might mean in the lost cities but it kinda spiraled into nothing so I'm cutting it out. (main point was just the mood towards drugs, Shannon has had previous mentions of both alcohol and drunk people, so (though im not saying she should incorporate this into a middle grade book series a t a l l), Id be curious to see her take on drugs, (if they exist and how they effect people and the elven population // how is it treated? Is it looked down upon or even forbidden (why we might only see it in Exillium territories) or is it so normal and inconsequential that its just part of the norm in the lost cities?

but anyway, back to the thing I was originally thinking of - i feel like this is something rarely talked about but pls tell me I'm not the only one who has picked up on how weird Keefe's relationship with sedatives is. It's such a contrast to Sophie, where she's openly opposed to taking any type of sedative he seems to be really open to them, in fact in Unlocked every time he's knocked out by a sedative his language is pretty much always positive, like he really enjoys it. This probably just ties into something you mentioned a while back about Keefe and dealing with stuff by running away but I find it really interesting.

(Sorry if this is an uncomfortable ask to get, I know not everyone is comfortable with drug talk and I hope this Isn't overstepping a line.)

you're fine, don't worry! no lines overstepped. I appreciate you including the warning at the top, even though I'm alright talking with the subject. if there's something I'm uncomfortable with, that's not on you to know or worry about because I haven't shared any of my specific triggers, and the more anxiety-inducing ones are so specific to my personal experiences that I highly doubt they'll ever have any effect on any conversation ever. but I do genuinely appreciate your concern <33

I don't remember specifically what I asked for, but this is a topic I hadn't even realized was so fascinating, so thank you for bringing it up! That scene is kinda funny (as in weird) looking back on it, but Keefe was completely out of it and being a lot more vulnerable than he probably wanted to be due to his state of mind. I think it was intended to mirror something like anesthesia or laughing gas (note: in my brief research trying to find info about the boobrie dude I made a mental comparison between tam and sandor, so I'm just making note of it here so I don't forget), at least as far as Keefe's reaction goes. I think part of this was strategic so that we could get some information and vulnerability (although unwillingly) from Keefe and get that first glimpse of "the boy beneath all that swagger" (paraphrased from Sophie). But that's not what your ask is about so I'll move on before I get even more distracted.

wine, at the very least, exists in the lost cities. we've got fizzleberry wine, which is blamed by some for Caprise Redek's accident. Aside from that we've seen no mention of it, as this is a middle grade series about a young teen girl in a fantasy world, and in a "perfect" world there isn't a lot of talk about recreational substances. And I agree with you! this isn't to say that I think drugs and alcohol should be this huge thing in keeper or that it even needs to be address, just commenting that the attitude the general public has towards substances and intoxication is likely even more severe in the elven world, as has been the pattern with other things. We can tell from Caprise's incident that their wine functions similar if not identical to ours, as it was said to have impaired her motor control and thinking, hence how she fell off that balcony. So I think we could assume that drugs in the Lost Cities would be similar to those in the Forbidden Cities in function. Not in name though, likely named after some strange elven thing. Though if we go with the wine example, Fizzleberry is likely an exact description of what it is--the wine probably fizzes and is made from berries.

the elves highly value the mind, so I anticipate that anything that messes with it past beneficial medicinal uses prescribed by a physician are frowned upon. they think of your mental capacity and capabilities as integral to who you are, and composure as essential. drugs take that away and can impair your reasoning, hence my conclusion they're not well liked. however, I propose that this mindset is mostly those who are very proper, for example Lord Cassius. Dex was more than ready to take concentration serums of his own making--and convinced Sophie to take one (note: dex has almost killed both Sophie and Fitz. that can't be fun to know)--which directly messed with his limbic center. However, as he was raised in an apothecary and is already a little less in line with all other elvin values, I don't think him being an outlier is enough to completely through out my assumption. overall: looked down upon because it messes with the mind and the mind is crucial to elven society, and the way it impairs your thinking would make you a lesser person

and you're right! keefe's relationship with sedative is weird. we have this teenager who grew up without stable supports or a loving family having very little regard for how substances will effect his body, prioritizing the possible--not guaranteed, possible--benefits over all the risks. this is not to say drug use is inherently bad, just that the situation he's in makes me very cautious because he feels more at risk of falling into bad habits. also, your observation about tying that into him running away is very astute! i've talked a lot about him running away from his problems in more ways that physical, and I think this is an excellent example of that

he doesn't like his reality, the world he lives in when he's awake and aware and lucid. it's full of all these problems and people and he doesn't know what to do. but when he's asleep? he doesn't have to deal with any of that. he doesn't have to do anything, but he's also troubled enough and anxious enough that sleep doesn't always come easy, and he can be plagued by nightmares. but those sedatives mess with his mind and not only make him sleep faster and longer, but they can mess with your dreams and alter the reality you experience while asleep. i guess it could be a way of trying to take control of a situation he had very little control over, especially in unlocked when everyone else was trying to fix things without consulting him. with his waking world that bad, of course he's gonna like anything that takes him away from it.

it stands out especially when we switch to him as a narrator and he's praising these things and wanting to be sedated, as we've spent so long in Sophie's head and she's so against them from the trauma she experienced in the first book. that could mean his attitude them is more jarring just because we're used to Sophie and it wouldn't seem as dramatic if we'd switched from say, Fitz's head. but that doesn't mean there's nothing here.

i think i've said it before, but Keefe doesn't have any healthy coping strategies right now that he consistently relies on. his deference towards avoidance and making the problem go away, even if it's just in feeling induced by drugs, is a more extreme example of how he doesn't know how to just exist without hurting.

I jumped around a bit between topics so if I missed something you wanted to talk about more in depth please feel free to send another ask! Keefe's relationship to experiencing reality is fascinating and covers things from denial and refusal to change all the way to drugs and literally altering the way his brain perceives reality. This boy is on a collision course with destruction in both body and mind.

[shemakesmusic-uk]

This segment features artists who have submitted their tracks/videos to She Makes Music. If you would like to be featured here then please send an e-mail to shemakesmusic@hotmail.com. We look forward to hearing from you!

Zoë Zohar

Raised in Israel by a South African mother and Israeli father, Zoë Zohar shares her story and take on life through upbeat melancholic ambience. By incorporating live with electronic instruments, Zohar constantly shifts between raw nostalgic tones and futuristic elements, searching for a new authentic sound. After moving to London at the age of 19, Zohar and her team began working together on her much-anticipated EP of four songs, one of which features her recent release ‘Paper Airplanes’. Through her EP, Zohar tells a story of feeling overwhelmed in a trapped environment. In this song, she portrays a sense of loneliness and feeling on the edge of defeat, only to realise that one may find comfort in this state of mind. Zohar aims to take the viewer on a journey that reveals the conflict of befriending our inner voices and running away from them. Listen below.

Zoë Zohar · Paper Airplanes

RIVITA

Hailing from the colorful escapades of India, Rivita creates electro-acoustic landscapes with her music. After completing an extensive education in music, she is currently based in LA and is focused on writing new music and playing virtual shows. Her latest single ‘Lonely With Someone’ is a story of the consequence of addiction and the unsaid hidden scars that it leaves. The song is a segway from her previous release ‘Someone Else’s Arms’, Rivita states “With this piece of work, I wanted to express the strength an individual really holds. There have been many moments in my life, I have surprised myself with my own strength and while facing some of my biggest fears in tough situations. While growing up I watched someone get lost in the sea of addiction. As I got older, I realized just how common addiction is across the globe and how well it is masked sometimes. It has caused me pain and it felt like I had no right to feel this way because I was not the one with the disease. I wanted to find a way to release my feelings without the consequence of being told to get over it or to stop thinking about it. This is the only way I thought I’d ever be able to fully express myself, through this song”. Listen below.

Rivita · Lonely With Someone

Alicia Lov

Spanish-Canadian artist Alicia Lov took to music at an early age. Music and dance lessons pushed her passion further and led to where she is now. Alicia has a love for lots of different genres including rap/hiphop, alternative, dancehall, latin pop and so much more. Dance is a big part of her inspiration and will continue to be a prime part of her career. Her latest single 'Magnetic' delivers a smooth romantic R&B feeling that makes you want to get cuddled up with that special someone. She explains further, "'Magnetic,' has romantic R&B vibes that were inspired by love between the sheets. Smiling and tracing each other with your fingertips. Love can sometimes just be free and chaotic. Head in the clouds, floating in another dimension." Listen below.

ALICIA LOV · Magnetic

Lyla DiPaul

Lyla DiPaul is an American recording artist based out of New Orleans. DiPaul grew up in Takoma Park, MD where she fell in love with playing guitar and writing songs at the age of 10. She draws musical inspiration from a variety of songwriters including Taylor Swift, Joni Mitchell, and Phoebe Bridgers. DiPaul eloquently relays the feeling of love and heartbreak through her music, and hopes to connect to people through her work. Her latest single is ‘Still Unwell’ and here is what Lyla had to say about the release: ”I wrote ‘Still Unwell’ with my friend MC in the fall of 2019. Simply put, it is a breakup song. We always describe it as being about nostalgia for a relationship. When you miss all the good things and bad things about a person, and just cannot move on. We recorded the bulk of the song in the studio at Loyola University, New Orleans and then ended up finishing up the guitar work and the vocals in my bedroom after things became unsafe due to the pandemic.” Listen below.

Lyla DiPaul · Still Unwell

Mango In Euphoria

Starting her project in London after being employed in Florida and travelling through the United States, French-born alternative artist and songwriter Mango In Euphoria quickly found her audience when she dropped her first experimental work at the end of 2020. The singer is an emerging talent noticeable by her quirky style and her mysterious signature voice, matching her very own unique musical tracks mixing Electronic Rock, Dream Pop and Dark-wave genres. Creating melodies coming from her mind with virtual instruments and recording with a very basic microphone during the global Coronavirus pandemic, Mango In Euphoria also began to work remotely with Belgian producer Philippe Francq who helped her in developing a lot of demos with physical instruments inspired from vintage influences such as the Twin Peaks series soundtracks, The Cure, and Garbage. As Mango was mainly musically influenced by Grimes and Lana Del Rey, there's no doubt that the result would be quiet outstanding. Her new song ‘Golden Shrine’ is about celebrating who you are as a unique person, embracing this uniqueness “and also about someone who started to copy everything I was doing when everything was coming from my creativity so instead of getting more pissed off I created a song about it!” she laughs. Listen below.

MangoInEuphoria · Mango In Euphoria - Golden Shrine

Shannon

East London singer-songwriter, Shannon is an indie-pop artist that brings soulful tones through her vocals. Her music shares stories and experiences through heartfelt lyrics and production driven by acoustic guitar. Her latest single ‘But He's There’ is an upbeat track about the complications of falling for a close friend. The lyrics reveal inner thoughts of uncertainty about stepping out of one's comfort zone to fulfil an exciting idea of love. As the song builds, the story unfolds and reflects the fantasy for a closer relationship. Shannon's high notes introduce an unexpected direction to the vocal line that mirrors the feeling of being caught unaware by your thoughts and feelings. Whilst picturing the production for this song, some influential tracks from the 90's came to mind from artists such as Corinne Bailey Rae, Lauryn Hill and Natasha Bedingfield. The laid-back drums and organ keys give off a chilled vibe, almost as if the song acts as a passing thought during a relaxed Sunday morning. Listen below.

officialshannonuk · But He's There

Heff VanSaint

East London-based alternative pop artist, Heff VanSaint has released her debut track ‘Nothing Lasts Forever’. The former one half of synth-pop duo Miracles has gone back to her roots with a song that fuses old-school storytelling, with a contemporary lo-fi indie sound. ‘Nothing Lasts Forever’ is a tale of lost friendship, at a time of carefree hedonism. It’s a bruised, melancholic song tinged with sadness. Lyrically sublime, its evocative lines hit deep and leave the listener experiencing a sentimental yearning long after its over. Listen below.

Nille Nyc

Following up on the release of her debut EP PowerPainPillsPercussion, Danish electro pop artist Nille Nyc has just released new single ‘Someone Else’, her first of 2021, as a per cursor to her upcoming full-length album. Let’s face it, we’ve all been there: a relationship that seems to constantly be teetering on the edge of the abyss, until one day when it finally implodes. Afterwards, all that we can do is pick up the pieces and move on. ‘Someone Else’ is a story about looking back at the aftermath of a bad relationship from the safety of a better place. With a playful guitar, heavy R&B beat and edgy vocals, ‘Someone Else’ opens a new chapter in Nille Nyc’s musical journey. “Throughout our lifetime we experience relationships which challenge our core values as human beings, both professionally and personally. Every relationship needs to grow and mature; to look to the future while keeping the lessons of the past in mind. The same holds true for music. Every musician needs to keep innovating and experimenting. They need to take risks and challenge themselves by exploring new ideas and new ways of expressing themselves. If they don’t, then they run the risk of becoming static and their music will suffer for it”, Nille Nyc says. Listen below.

Nille Nyc · Someone Else

Natasha Ghosh

Natasha Ghosh originated as a professional Dutch-Indian fingerstyle ukulele player, but nowadays she also focuses on singing and releases her own music. Natasha's main styles are R&B, indie electronic, lo-fi, and hip-hop. Her new single ‘Paradise’ is a deep and emotional vocal-led lo-fi track with a relaxed sense of beauty. It's a personal song about romantic escapism between lovers. Lush synthesizer melodies, emotional vocals, and dynamic, but the chill drums make this track a perfect fit for study, Lo-fi, chill, and dreamy playlists. This is a song that Natasha wrote with her girlfriend in mind. "I believe that it's important to show the people you love what they're worth to you. In an ever-changing society where all kinds of stuff are happening around the globe, it's good to focus on the good things.” The track was a COVID-19 project, made in collaboration with the famous lo-fi artist Kid Kio from home studios. Listen below.

Natasha Ghosh Music · Natasha Ghosh (feat. Kid Kio)- Paradise

Olivia Void

Berlin based experimental artist Olivia Void uses her highly recognizable voice and songwriting style to introduce us to her unusual sonic cosmos. Her debut ‘Made for You’ was published in October 2020. After collaborating with members of the local and international electro and folk scenes in the meantime, she now prepares for the release of her debut EP PHYSICAL later this year. Unpredictable and captivating, Olivia Void’s new single ‘Glory to Glory’ is a hommage to our physical selves. Led by the Berlin singer‘s characteristic voice and electric guitar play, we get carried away high and low until we want to join in the glory. Talking about the powers of the self-reigned body, the song‘s unique structure creates a whirl that drags you in. As more and more layers are added or taken away we find ourselves in a state of vibrant emotion. Listen below.

Olivia Void · Olivia Void - Glory to Glory

[acrushedrosestillwins]

An interesting Study between Mary and pscycopaths According to Amanda’s tweet Mary is a psychopath. Well that would mean her entire story arc is face, every emotion, every feeling, every sentence is pre thought and well mediated for maximum effect.  I did some research and learned a few interesting facts about psychopaths. 1. Psychopaths Can’t Recognize Fear They are unable to recognise the signs and facial expressions of fear in a person’s face. This is due to a malfunction of the amygdala – the part of the brain that control fear response. On a psychopath the outer layer is thinner than normal. The strange thing is that it doesn’t affect or apply to all the other emotions. Because they don’t recognise it, they find it difficult to mimic the emotions themselves. 2. Psychopaths Crave Dopamine Psychopaths are on a certain scale addicted to dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that activates the reward centre of the brain. According to studies a psychopath’s brain produces more dopamine than normal. 3. Psychopaths May Have An Empathy Switch The general consensus that they can’t imagine themselves in other people’s shoes and only uses people as chess pieces is wrong. Studies suggest that in certain cases they can empathize with certain situations. They concluded that they have a “on” and “off” switch. It is mostly on off, although they can switch it if needed, if it suits their needs. Apparently this is when they turn ‘nice’ and ‘sweet’ 4. Psychopaths Receive Harsher Criminal Sentences Usually when a judge is told someone is a psychopath, they on average give a three to five year longer sentence than normal 5. Businesses Are Filled With Psychopaths Oxford researcher Kevin Dutton did made a list of the most likely professions of psychopaths. The list showed that the top four was police officers, lawyers, and surgeons with the number one being CEO’s 6 Internet Trolls Are Psychopaths Several Canadian universities did a survey were they asked a wide variety of web users a set of questions about the time they spend online, do they comment on forums and groups, do they play the villain in games just to torture characters and do they purposes troll certain people and groups just for the fun of it. The result concluded that most of them show characteristics of the “Dark Tetrad” This is what they call the intersections of four unpleasant personality traits – sadism, Machiavellianism, narcissism and psychopathy. 7. The Prosocial Psychopath James Fallon is a neuroscientist who calls himself a ‘prosocial psychopath’. This means that although he has the brain of a psychopath, he even have the mission MOA-A gene, also called the ‘warrior gene’ as it is responsible for aggressive behaviour. He admits that he lacks empathy, that he is manipulative and highly competitive but believes his upbringing played a huge part. He was brought up in a loving and caring home. He believes he is a prosocial psychopath, because he acts and behaves within society’s norms. 8. Psychopaths Have A Poor Sense Of Smell Because psychopaths have a lower level of orbital cortices functioning, which not only affects the ability to make long-term plans and keep impulses at check, it also their ability to detect smells. In fact it was proven that the higher they score in psychopath test, the lower their ability to smells was. 9. Presidents And Psychopaths Have A Lot In Common Although none of the presidents tick all the checking boxes of a psychopath; they did displayed a many characteristics, the FD (Fearless Dominance) trait being the strongest. This trait is when you have the lack of fear and unwillingness to back down from dangerous situations. Plus it allows them to charm people. 10. Psychopaths Have Recognizable Speech Patterns They used words like “uh” and “um” more frequently to appear more normal. They would also use “because” and “so that” more than usual as well. They would talk about their crimes mostly in the past tense. Some interesting differences between a psychopath, narcissist and sociopath  So let’s go to Mary A few things stood out for me, 1. The Sign of Three, she manipulated both Sherlock and John about the case and then gave them each the thumbs up. Yeah, another mission accomplished. 2. In His Last Vow, when she gave John the usb, she said “because you won’t love me when you’re finished” the seeds of doubt sown right there and then, it seems innocent enough, but she knew exactly what kind of man John is, so saying that she kept him from reading that. I mean every time he would consider reading it; her words will play in his mind. So he didn’t, she used his character against him. 3. In The Abominable Bride when they were on the plane, Mycroft suggested the MI5 archive, and she was like “Yep, that’s where I’m looking” she immediately undermined his authority and power by saying that and that she would think the security would be a good idea, that sows seeds of doubt about Mycroft to anyone, distancing him even more from them. Let’s not forget that Mycroft had knew exactly who she was from the beginning, since she knew about AGRA all those years ago, they used her on a freelance basis, so yes, she would have access to MI5, Sherlock and John didn’t know that, so what better way to piss off Mycroft than deliberately saying something like. Just another game to her of manipulation. And Mycroft can’t say anything because she insured that both John and Sherlock are on her side. That would put him against them. (Bloody hell I hate her more and more) 4. Later at the cemetery John had enough and says he’s taking her home and she is like “what?” yes it is a funny line, but it comes down to the fact that she nullified John as the man in the relationship, as a dominant figure. She is clearly in control of every step, everything. I bet the pregnancy is another tick in her manipulation check list, what better way to ensure a man’s loyalty by making him a parent, especially a man like John? 5. Oh and then the best part came in The Six Thatchers where she basically stated that she is better than John, what was the line ‘She is a retired super-agent with a terrifying skill-set of course she is better.’ So John and all his skills as a soldier, a good man is nullified once again. She wasn’t a super-agent, she was a freelance assassin. There are loads of them. Saying that in front of John, she broke his already low self-esteem even more, another chunk in his armour, making sure he submits to her and Sherlock. I mean she basically told him compared to her and Sherlock he was a nobody. That is typical psychopath behaviour. She manipulated John, making him more dependable on her. 6. Then she died, oh how heroic of her, what a charm and sacrifice, how sad…. And she tells John being Mary Watson was the only life worth living... oh please. How manipulative can she be, placing that guilt on John? Ensuring that for the rest of his life, he will feel like he failed her, the man who made it his life to take care of people, a soldier and doctor, and he failed his wife, and then telling Sherlock they’re even? What the flying f)**!!! 7. Then comes the video clip, oh how we loved those (God she died in the first ep and we get to see her two more times, plus a hallucination….. if only that was Jim) And what better way to make sure Sherlock gets involved, gets even more broken up and his mental state ripped apart, make John a case. Sherlock loves cases, so give him one. To save John, from what, the destructions and manipulations she did? The she tells him to go to hell. According to Shannon on the little picture, a psychopath goes to great lengths to ruin your life, laugh about it and makes sure the most damage is done, what better way to ruin their friendship and telling him to nearly kill himself. Must give that to her, that’s a great way of killing someone and giving yourself the perfect alibi. And she makes it so heartfelt, so “oh even from death I care so much, I was born for this. Died for this little redemptions arc, oh feel me!” 8. Then comes the hallucination, and John is even haunted by her after her death, by the ‘man she thought he was’ dude she thought you was a puppet on a string. Cut the lines. So yes when Amanda said Mary was a pscycopath we heard, but didn’t listen, or some of us did, she was horrible.

[kevinpolowy]

2017 Oscar Predictions: Our Picks in Every Category

How many Oscars will La La Land win? Will we see a split between Best Picture and Best Director? Who will win in some tight lead acting categories?

And for serious Oscar geeks: Will either Kevin O’Connell or Greg P. Russell — sound men who are a combined for a record 0-for-36 at previous ceremonies — finally win an Academy Award?

These are just a few storylines to watch heading into the 89th Academy Awards this Sunday, Feb. 26. Expect La La Land to win a la la lot of trophies, but there could be some surprises in store. We’re calling upsets in Best Director, Best Actor, Best Documentary, and Best Original Song, but who knows what else the night could bring? Here are our 2017 Oscar predictions in every category.

BEST PICTURE

Nominees: Arrival Fences Hacksaw Ridge Hell or High Water Hidden Figures La La Land Lion Manchester by the Sea Moonlight

La La Land tied an Academy Awards record when it scored a whopping 14 nominations, out Oscaring Gone With the Wind (13) and taking its place in history alongside Titanic and All About Eve. That put to rest any doubt that director Damien Chazelle’s contemporary musical is far and away the Best Picture frontrunner, a status I’ve been sure about since September. There’s plenty else working in its favor beyond nomination domination: It’s an enchanting love letter to Los Angeles, the metropolis where most Oscar voters live and work; it romanticizes the entertainment industry; it reinvigorates a genre long celebrated on the ceremony’s stage; and it features two of Hollywood’s most popular young stars, Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling.

Like any film that popular though, there’s been some inevitable backlash. That leaves open the possibility that something like Moonlight, Barry Jenkins’ quietly stunning coming-of-age drama could squeak out a win. And if there’s any film that’s stock has increased since the nominations, it would be the sleeper hit Hidden Figures, which will pass $150 million at the U.S. box office by the time the Oscars air on Sunday and would make a more populist (if conventional) pick. Still, anything topping La La Land would be a major upset.

Will Win: La La Land Don’t Be Surprised By: Moonlight Dark Horse: Hidden Figures

BEST DIRECTOR

Nominees: Damien Chazelle, La La Land Mel Gibson, Hacksaw Ridge Barry Jenkins, Moonlight Kenneth Lonergan, Manchester by the Sea Denis Villeneuve, Arrival

The five gentlemen nominated for Best Director should be thankful that Alejandro González Iñárritu didn’t make a film last year and is not a threat to three-peat after consecutive wins for Birdman and The Revenant. (PSA: No woman has been nominated in this category since Kathryn Bigelow won in 2010.)

Again, this one comes down to La La Land versus Moonlight. Director’s Guild winner Chazelle is the favorite, no doubt, for his highly stylized, resourceful work. But while Best Picture and Best Director Oscars in most years go to the same film (over a 30-year span from 1983-2012, it’s happened 25 times), splits have been a trend of late, occurring in three out of the past four years. I could see Jenkins get rewarded here for his stunning work in Moonlight.

Will Win: Barry Jenkins Don’t Be Surprised By: Damien Chazelle

BEST ACTRESS

Nominees: Isabelle Huppert, Elle Ruth Negga, Loving Natalie Portman, Jackie Emma Stone, La La Land Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins

Of the acting races, this is the category with the most possible winners at four. (Apologies to Loving’s Ruth Negga.) Stone is the favorite for her emotionally charged performance as Mia, the heart and soul of La La Land. But watch out for Elle’s Isabelle Huppert, who pulled off a surprise win at the Golden Globes and could be a sentimental pick. Streep has to be a contender considering Hollywood wouldn’t mind a repeat of her takedown of Donald Trump at the Globes… and also, she’s Meryl Streep, 20-time nominee. Many critics have called Natalie Portman’s performance in Jackie her career-best, but she did win only six years ago for Black Swan. That brings us back to Stone, who you could argue is already “due” at the tender age of 28: She should’ve won two years ago for supporting actress in Birdman.

Will Win: Emma Stone Don’t Be Surprised By: Isabelle Huppert Dark Horse: Natalie Portman or Meryl Streep

BEST ACTOR

Nominees: Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge Ryan Gosling, La La Land Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic Denzel Washington, Fences

It felt like Casey Affleck had this category locked up earlier this awards season for playing the tormented handyman who assumes custody of his wiseacre nephew (Lucas Hedges) in Manchester. But the tide seems to have turned of late. Voters might be hesitant to reward Affleck given attention to sexual harassment allegations lodged against him by female colleagues in 2010. (The cases were settled, and Affleck has denied the claims.) Now, a real possibility is Denzel Washington, who won the Screen Actors Guild Award and could win his third Oscar for playing a Pittsburgh sanitation worker in Fences. While Affleck’s performance is understated, Washington’s is explosive. It’s still Affleck’s Oscar to lose, but I’m going with Denzel.

Will Win: Denzel Washington Don’t Be Surprised By: Casey Affleck

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Nominees: Viola Davis, Fences Naomie Harris, Moonlight Nicole Kidman, Lion Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures Michelle Williams, Manchester by the Sea

Of the four acting categories, this one is by far the easiest one to predict. There is next to no doubt Viola Davis will take home her first Academy Award for her fiery performance opposite Washington in Fences. Davis owns the single greatest moment by any actor this year with her tear-soaked “standing with you” rebuttal of her wrongdoing husband. Any other year, and this prize would have to go to Michelle Williams for her gut-wrenching work in Manchester, but the Dawson’s Creek alum will likely be 0-for-4 at the Oscars after Sunday.

Will Win: Viola Davis Dark Horse: Michelle Williams

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Nominees: Mahershala Ali, Moonlight Jeff Bridges, Hell or High Water Lucas Hedges, Manchester by the Sea Dev Patel, Lion Michael Shannon, Nocturnal Animals

This race was probably a lot closer before January 29. That was the night Moonlight breakout Mahershala Ali (who also appears in another Best Picture contender, Hidden Figures) delivered an introspective, heartfelt speech as he accepted his SAG Award. Ali was the presumptive favorite before then for his subtly moving work as an empathetic drug dealer, and that night, he likely became a lock. I’ll still hold out hope for the feisty Michael Shannon, who gave one of my favorite performances of the year as a tough-talking, terminally ill sheriff in Nocturnal Animals, but odds are Ali is the champ.

Will Win: Mahershala Ali Dark Horse: Michael Shannon

Related: 7 First-Time Oscar Nominees in 2017

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Nominees: Mike Mills, 20th Century Women Taylor Sheridan, Hell or High Water Damien Chazelle, La La Land Yorgos Lanthimos and Efthymis Filippou, The Lobster Kenneth Lonergan, Manchester by the Sea

Kenneth Lonergan was recruited by Matt Damon to pen an original script after the actor-producer took a shine to his work on Margaret, and the playwright-screenwriter didn’t disappoint. Manchester by the Sea is a masterfully written tragedy that surprises and saddens, yet still leaves room for hope and even some humor. It’s hard to see this award not going to Lonergan, one of the more revered writers in the business today. La La Land in the running, but it’s incredibly rare for musicals to win screenplay Oscars: the last was Gigi in 1959.

Will Win: Manchester by the Sea Don’t Be Surprised By: La La Land Dark Horse: Hell or High Water

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Nominees: Eric Heisserer, Arrival August Wilson, Fences Theodore Melfi and Allison Schroeder, Hidden Figures Luke Davies, Lion Barry Jenkins and Tarell Alvin McCraney, Moonlight

The Writer’s Guild Awards didn’t make this category any easier to predict: Both Moonlight (written by Barry Jenkins, based on an unpublished play by Tarell McCraney) and Arrival (written by Eric Heisserer, based on a story by Ted Chiang) took home trophies. That’s because the WGA considered Moonlight an original script, while the Academy’s designated it an adaptation. Regardless, this should be smooth sailing for the deeply adored Moonlight.

Will Win: Moonlight Dark Horse: Arrival or Hidden Figures

Related: ‘Arrival’s’ Nominated Screenwriter on Adapting the Surprise Hit and Speaking the Aliens’ Language

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

Nominees: Kubo and the Two Strings Moana My Life as a Zucchini The Red Turtle Zootopia

It’s still surprising that in a year in which Disney Animation released a highly anticipated sequel (Finding Dory) and a new heroine adventure (Moana), its crown jewel is Zootopia. It arrived in theaters last spring with decidedly less fanfare than the other two, but has proven a hilarious crowd-pleaser, with a poignant, nuanced social message about tolerance. Zootopia has become the easy favorite here, and only the artsier Kubo and the Two Strings has a (long) shot of defeating it.

Will Win: Zootopia Dark Horse: Kubo and the Two Strings

BEST DOCUMENTARY

Nominees: 13th Fire at Sea I Am Not Your Negro Life, Animated O.J.: Made in America

Wisdom of the crowd says the non-fiction category will go to ESPN Films’ O.J.: Made in America, Ezra Edelman’s captivating, 8-hour long odyssey about O.J. Simpson, his trial for murder, and its ripple effect on race relations in America. (At 467 minutes, it would become the film with the longest runtime ever to win an Oscar.) But my pick goes to a timelier take on social strife, Ava DuVernay’s 13th, a blistering indictment of mass incarceration and an urgent look at the evolution of racial inequality in the U.S.

Will Win: 13th Don’t Be Surprised By: O.J.: Made in America Dark Horse: I Am Not Your Negro

Related: The Oscar-Nominated Filmmaker Behind ‘O.J.: Made in America’ on His Oscar Night Plans and Why O.J. Still Matters

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

Nominees: Land of Mine A Man Called Ove The Salesman Tanna Toni Erdmann

Toni Erdmann, Germany’s comedy-drama about a goofy middle-aged man who disrupts his corporate daughter’s business dealings has long been considered the movie to beat. But politics matter at the Oscars, and the attention Iran’s The Salesman — about married actors whose relationship unravels as they rehearse for a play — has received in the wake of the Trump administration’s proposed travel ban could give the second seed a bump. (Director Asghar Farhadi announced he was boycotting the ceremony.) And for what it’s worth, The Salesman is the better film.

Will Win: The Salesman Don’t Be Surprised By: Toni Erdmann Dark Horse: A Man Called Ove

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Nominees:

Bradford Young, Arrival Linus Sandgren, La La Land Greig Fraser, Lion James Laxton, Moonlight Rodrigo Prieto, Silence

It was a stellar year for cinematography. There’s the dreamy urban landscapes of Moonlight, a vibrant spin on the City of Angels in La La Land, and the brooding sci-fi scenery of Arrival. You would assume any of those would be the favorites… and then American Society of Cinematographers doled out their top honors to the gritty South Asian sights photographed in Lion. This category could be ripe for an upset, but when in doubt, go La La Land.

Will Win: La La Land Don’t Be Surprised By: Lion Dark Horse: Arrival or Moonlight

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Nominees: Joanna Johnston, Allied Colleen Atwood, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Consolata Boyle, Florence Foster Jenkins Madeline Fontaine, Jackie Mary Zophres, La La Land

This category has a history of going to period wardrobes, and Jackie‘s Madeline Fontaine nailed the former First Lady’s iconic looks. But La La Land is the likely frontrunner given how vitally its characters’ colorful duds factor into the film’s aesthetic.

Will Win: La La Land Don’t Be Surprised By: Jackie Dark Horse: Florence Foster Jenkins

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

Nominees: Patrice Vermette and Paul Hotte, Arrival Stuart Craig and Anna Pinnock, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Jess Gonchor and Nancy Haigh, Hail, Caesar! David Wasco and Sandy Reynolds-Wasco, La La Land Guy Hendrix Dyas and Gene Serdena, Passengers

Best Production Design, a.k.a. one of two categories where Passengers was nominated. (The big-budget sci-fi bust did look pretty spectacular.) This category has matched up with Best Costume Design over the last three years (Mad Max, Grand Budapest Hotel, and The Great Gatsby). Considering that La La Land was a spectacle that also looked spectacular, I’ll say that trend will continue.

Will Win: La La Land Don’t Be Surprised By: Arrival Dark Horse: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

BEST EDITING

Nominees: Joe Walker, Arrival John Gilbert, Hacksaw Ridge Jake Roberts, Hell or High Water Joi McMillon and Nat Sanders, Moonlight Tom Cross, La La Land

Here’s yet another technical award where La La Land should add to its total. Editor Tom Cross won a surprise Oscar two years ago for his work on Chazelle’s breakout film Whiplash, and once again he helps craft the filmmaker’s work with perfect rhythm. If anything breaks La La Land‘s stride here, it could be Arrival, which won the ACE Eddie Award for drama, while La La took the comedy category.

Will Win: La La Land Don’t Be Surprised By: Arrival Dark Horse: Moonlight

BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING

Nominees: Eva Von Bahr and Love Larson, A Man Called Ove Joel Harlow and Richard Alonzo, Star Trek Beyond Alessandro Bertolazzi, Giorgio Gregorini and Christopher Allen Nelson, Suicide Squad

Good news: This is the rare Oscar category where you automatically have a 33.3 percent chance of winning on your ballot. As much as we’d all get a kick out of hearing the phrase “the Oscar winning-film Suicide Squad,” you’re probably safe picking Star Trek Beyond for its impressive intergalactic embellishments.

Will Win: Star Trek Beyond Don’t Be Surprised By: Suicide Squad

BEST SCORE

Nominees: Mica Levi, Jackie Justin Hurwitz, La La Land Dustin O’Halloran and Volker Berterlmann, Lion Nicholas Britell, Moonlight Thomas Newman, Passengers

The musical numbers are infectious in La La Land, but the film’s tunes never stop never stopping, and Justin Hurwitz’s tight, jazz-influenced compositions seamlessly blend one showstopper into the next. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: La La Land is the easy choice.

Will Win: La La Land Dark Horse: Lion

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

Nominees: “Audition,” La La Land “Can’t Stop the Feeling,” Trolls “City of Stars,” La La Land “The Empty Chair,” Jim: The James Foley Story “How Far I’ll Go,” Moana

Here’s where I’ll get bold, though. The consensus among pundits is that “City of Stars” is the easy choice, and it might be. But it’s not even the best song in La La Land — that would be “Another Day in the Sun,” which wasn’t nominated. And Ryan Gosling’s singing has taken some knocks. So it could go to “Audition” instead… or we could even see those two split the votes, clearing the way for Moana’s pump-up jam, “How Far I’ll Go,” written by Broadway sensation (and occasional freestyle Disney rapper) Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Will Win: “How Far I’ll Go” Don’t Be Surprised By: “City of Stars” Dark Horse: “Audition”

Related: Lin-Manuel Miranda on His Oscar-Nominated ‘Moana’ Song: ‘You Start by Thinking, Don’t Write “Let It Go”‘

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Nominees: Deepwater Horizon Doctor Strange Kubo and the Two Strings The Jungle Book Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Kubo and the Two Strings became the first animated movie to be nominated in the VFX category since Tim Burton’s stop-motion The Nightmare Before Christmas in 1994. Still, it’ll have to settle for that distinction considering it’s in the same category as The Jungle Book, director Jon Favreau’s visually electrifying creature feature that’s so reliant on FX you could argue it’s an animated film, not live-action. Regardless, it’s hard to see it losing here.

Will Win: The Jungle Book Dark Horse: Doctor Strange or Rogue One

BEST SOUND EDITING & BEST SOUND MIXING

Best Sound Editing Nominees: Arrival Deepwater Horizon Hacksaw Ridge La La Land Sully

Best Sound Mixing Nominees: Arrival Hacksaw Ridge La La Land Rogue One: A Star Wars Story 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

First, your annual primer: sound editing is the creation of non-musical sound effects used in films (i.e. sirens, gun shots, doors slamming) while sound mixing is the blending of all sounds in a film to find the proper balance. There are two challenges to predicting these: figuring out if voters will favor the musical entry or an action movie; and then deciding if they’ll choose the same winner for each.

Winners have lined up six of the past 10 years, and three of those four years that they didn’t, it’s because a musical won Sound Mixing, while an action movie won Sound Editing. History, then, favors La La Land in Sound Mixing, and something like Hacksaw Ridge or Arrival in Sound Editing.

Sound Mixing, by the way, is the category where Kevin O’Connell (previously 0-for-20 and now up for Hacksaw Ridge) or Greg P. Russell (previously 0-for-16, and now up for 13 Hours) will face off. Sadly, I think their winless streaks continue.

Best Sound Editing

Will Win: Hacksaw Ridge Don’t Be Surprised By: Arrival

Best Sound Mixing

Will Win: La La Land Dark Horse: Hacksaw Ridge

BEST LIVE-ACTION SHORT

Nominees: Ennemis Intérieurs La Femme et le TGV Silent Nights Sing Timecode

Call this Best Foreign-Language Film, Jr. All five nominees hail from Europe. And four could feasibly win, depending on the mood of voters. Three of those are light: Timecode (a Cannes winner about dancing security guards), Sing (a crowdpleaser about a kids choir not to be confused with the animated feature-length hit), and La Femme et le TGV (a whimsical Swiss comedy about middle-aged baker and a passing train). But my money’s on the more somber entry, Ennemis Intérieurs, a gripping, topical drama about a Muslim French-Algerian man being interrogated while applying for citizenship.

Will Win: Ennemis Intérieurs Don’t Be Surprised By: Timecode Dark Horse: Sing or La Femme et le TGV

Related: A Guide to the Three Short-Film Categories — The Nominees and Ethan Alter’s Picks to Win

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT

Nominees: Extremis 4.1 Miles Joe’s Violin Watani: My Homeland The White Helmets

Want a quick bout of depression? Watch all five nominees in this category consecutively. They deal with life amid the devastating warfare in Syria (Watani, The White Helmets), refugees risking their lives near a Greek island (4.1 Miles), and the delicacy of working with life support machines (Extremis). Only the heartwarming Joe’s Violin — about a Holocaust survivor who donates his instrument to a Bronx schoolgirl — offers some reprieve. They’re all genuinely great and any could win, but I’m partial to the harrowing White Helmets, about civilian teams of first responders risking their lives during bomb attacks in Syria. (The film’s subjects would likely been denied U.S. visas to travel to the Oscars under Trump’s travel ban, but now plan to be in attendance.)

Will Win: The White Helmets Don’t Be Surprised By: Joe’s Violin or Extremis Dark Horse: 4.1 Miles

BEST ANIMATED SHORT

Nominees: Blind Vaysha Borrowed Time Pear Cider and Cigarettes Pearl Piper

Let’s end on a lighter note though, shall we? There’s no way in heck this Oscar doesn’t go to Pixar’s Piper, which played prior to Finding Dory. It’s a short about a baby sandpiper birdie breaking the waves and overcoming her fear of water. And it’s freaking adorable.

Will Win: Piper Dark Horse: Blind Vaysha

The 89th Academy Awards will be held Sunday, Feb. 26 at 8:30 p.m. ET/ 5:30 p.m. PT.

[ramblingsofthegoldenwitch]

Was there a reason ever given as to why Kumasawa and Genji never told anyone about Kinzo raping his daughter?

Well,

they techinically told someone, that someone being Sayo, but I guess you mean the police or someone who could stop Kinzo, right?

No, they never gave the reason.

My guess, based on Umineko and other Japanese media is that the servants in families like the Ushiromiya aren’t just people who work there, but property that has to be subservient and loyal.

In another story I read the young master raped multiple times a servant. An older servant was sorry for the younger servant but, when confronted on the topic she excused herself claiming she was just a servant and therefore couldn’t do nothing and that the master had also raped her, in a manner that basically implied ‘yeah, it’s horrible this happened to us but they’re the masters and they can do this to us and we can solely obey’.

We see a bit of this mentality in Umineko, where for Genji the perfect servant is like furniture, an object at his master’s service, where Natsuhi can hire as a maid a child of supposedly six and can tell Sayo she won’t be allowed to eat or rest until she had finished cleaning the WHOLE HALL on her own.

(Natsuhi) "Then perhaps you should aim to do a truly thorough cleaning. Shannon, I order you to clean the reception hall right now. It is an important hall, where several pictures treasured by the Head are displayed, and where honored guests of the Ushiromiya family are welcomed. Clean it thoroughly, so that not a speck of dust remains, and so that even you are satisfied. Of course, you will finish before the day is out. Until you finish that and report it to me, you will not be permitted any food or rest. Understood?"(Shannon) " ...Y-Yes, Oku-sama."(Natsuhi) "That is good. Servants should endeavor to only use those words. The next time you talk back, your punishment will be even more severe, so with that in mind, engrave these words in your heart."(Shannon) "Yes, ...Oku-sama. ...Thank you for your guidance."(Natsuhi) "You are welcome." [EP 2]

We can assume that Japanese readers wouldn’t need explanations because they would know how a servant would act/react.

Yes, it’s depressing. But now, let’s look at something that’s even more depressing.

What would have happened if someone had tried reporting what was going on between Kinzo and Beatrice?

First of all they couldn’t prove she was his daughter as Beatrice’s birth isn’t registred anywhere.

Umineko takes place in 1986. Beatrice died 19 years before so around 1967.

Highly accurate genetic paternity testing became a possibility in the 1960s, but I’m not sure this happened in Japan as well and anyway as they were basically something new probably no one would think at using it and I’m not even sure Beatrice could go and ask for one to prove that Kinzo was her father.

The most they could do was to claim Kinzo is keeping a woman with no documents proving her identity and who might or might not be his daughter, in his island in a pretty house... to which Kinzo can reply he’s doing it out of the kindness of his heart as she’s a poor orphan.

The docoments? Oh, ops, he was so sure there were some... maybe they got lost?

Now... the rape. In present time it’s hard enough to persuade a jury that if a woman is kicking and screaming ‘no’ she’s not playing hard to get, she’s being raped. In 1967 it was very likely much harder, especially considering that, although Beatrice likely didn’t agree, I doubt Kinzo ‘forced her’ as in ‘he took her while she was kicking and screaming’. More likely he told her ‘do this and that’ or ‘just stay put and take part to my magic rite’ and although she didn’t like it she complied out of obedience. As ignorant as she was she probably didn’t even knew what she was forced into was sex, or that she was being raped. We know that what Kinzo did was still rape because, although she likely obeyed, she had no idea what she was consenting at, what he was doing to her. In this she was mostly like a child.

However... how hard it would be to persuade a 1967 jury? Or a police officer for the matter?

Last but not least, Kinzo is a filthy rich, filthy powerful guy. Not only the police would think twice before trying to blame him, but he can likely buy everyone in Japan so as to get away without troubles and, at the same time, completely ruin the life of whoever had accused him.

After all the Ushiromiya had no problems to hide how Natsuhi murdered a maid.

So, I find horrible that no one had reported what was going on with Beatrice, but I think the servants didn’t do it due to the mind setting of the time, and that even if they had tried, more likely they would have accomplished nothing.

Which is terrible, really.

[zillowcondo]

My Discoveries in the Devon Countryside

“We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.” – Jane Austen’s Fanny in Mansfield Park (1814)

Before I ventured on my way to England, first to London and then on to the Devon countryside, at the end of last month, I came across Jane Austen’s quote above. Unbeknownst to me, my trip would unfold very much as though Austen’s quote was a prescription of what was to come.

I cannot recall when I first dreamt of visiting the English countryside. And while I have since my studying abroad in Angers, France, been a Francophile, the Anglophile in me has been steady, reserved, but always ever-present if only in the background.

The moment the Great Western Railroad train emerged from London and into the green rolling hills of southwest England I saw what I doubted to be real until I saw it with my own eyes: peaceful grandeur void of harsh landscapes and offering simple vignettes of a quieter life.

And then after acquiring my rental car, it was driving for the first time on my own in a foreign country as I shared more about in episode #185, that I saw even more intimately the farms, quaint towns of two or three thousand and stone lined roads and fields.

What I discovered about the countryside and about myself surpassed expectation and gave (and still is giving) me great pause.

1. Make the journey comfortable: Choose first class rail tickets in advance

For the two hour journey from London to Exeter, I chose a month in advance first class tickets. At less than £50 each way, I enjoyed free lunch, snacks, tea and a very quiet car with ample room, a table to work upon and comfortable, large seating. While I know choosing this option wouldn’t be a regular choice if traveling frequently, for a long excursion, it was a lovely choice that I highly recommend.

2. Give yourself as many tools to be successful as possible in unknown situations

First, while I grew up driving a stick-shift and quite frankly, miss it in my current car, I chose an automatic when given the choice since I was already going to be driving on the other side of the vehicle and the road. As well, the car with the automatic transmission had a navigation system installed. Two choices I am very glad I made to reduce unnecessary stress.

3. Let go of time

I was constantly pinching myself. My eyes as well as all of my senses were dancing from one beautiful observation to the next. Nothing seemed too insignificant. The stone graduating wall outside my cottage truly delighted me (seen below).

4. Be a traveler rather than a tourist

While I did visit the Victoria & Albert Museum while in London, my primary objective was to enjoy the everydays in England. And so I did. Upon arriving at my cottage, I inquired with the owner as to where to pick groceries for the evening which she happily shared. She also gave me information about a couple of weekly markets to visit while I was staying in the area as well as a few other boutiques and shops. I took note.

Each morning I would awake, enjoy my breakfast, take a walk either outside my cottage along the stone lined shore (as seen below – my cottage was just up on the left of the farm you see in the picture) or head to a nearby beach at Woolacombe (also seen below in the second picture) to stretch my legs. Then it was an opportunity to explore the nearby towns or visit the markets and pick up local produce for dinner or work on a project or read or nap or do whatever inspired me. Then dinner in my cottage, snuggling in listening to the “mizzle” smatter against the windows, followed by a long, luxurious soak in the soaking tub (be sure to check out the post on Friday to view this most magnificent detail of the cottage).

~Woolacombe beach on a windy, misty November day (it was truly lovely)~

5. Give yourself time to soak everything in

Without a rigid schedule, I gave myself time to appreciate all the newness as well as history around me. While I would have loved far more time, I used the time I had to appreciate as much as I could, to make sense of what captured my eye and take note in my journal.

Of course, much tea was consumed, and the cottage was well stocked with a variety of options along with teaspoons, trays, teapots and many different sizes of teacups.

6. Listen to your inner yearnings

I was drawn to Devon to be near the ocean, to the specific cottage I chose to be able to see the ocean when I woke up, to walk along it each day. There is a calming nature for my mind when I stroll along the sand or along and have sight of it while I mosey along the edge of a cliff – my mind is present, yesterday and tomorrow are put aside and I am just there, full of more gratitude and dismissing all realities of time. Ideas dance, dreams feel more tangible and the power of Mother Nature evokes great reverence for all that has occurred thus far as my perspective grows.

7. Choose a place you would want to call home

I was recently reading Mathilde Thomas’s book about French beauty and she shared something that I found refreshing and relatable. She commented how, based on her experience, unlike Americans, French families escape to a holiday cottage or getaway and refrain from making any plans. Rather they luxuriate about the house, relax, enjoy, shop at the local market and enjoy a casual, but jovial meal each evening.

As I will share in more detail on Friday (here is the link if you’re visiting on December 15th or later), upon discovering the cottage I ended up staying in, I planned my getaway around its availablity as it was the house I wanted to spend my holiday in relaxing, unwinding and soaking in the large tub.

8. Seek out details or items to bring home with you that speak to your experience

The only two “souvenirs” I brought home with me were not items that I sought out, but ones I came across while exploring one of the markets I visited and one of the nearby towns city center: a £2 mini butter-yellow teapot and a £3 tea cup and saucer (seen below).

~left: my kitchen counter in my cottage and local treats from the owner which greeted me when I arrived (the apple juice was sublime); right: the view of the Bristol Channel from my cottage back porch~

9. Visit the local markets

As I mentioned in #4, visiting the markets for local produce was something I sought out, and upon doing so had lovely conversations with locals (one inquired if I was from New York which made me smile and yet another taught me how to pronounce Barnstaple correctly – his patience was greatly appreciated).

~Barnstaple’s daily market~

10. Converse with the locals

As mentioned in #9, ask questions, show interest and be open to learning.

  11. Listen to what speaks to you; follow the inspiration’s direction

Visiting the English countryside has always been an interest of mine. As to why, I cannot pinpoint a precise reason except to say, it spoke to me. As an English major in college who chose to focus heavily on British literature and in my minor courses, British history, my fascination only deepened. And while I, like most English speakers, most likely travel to England and the United Kingdom partially because we can speak the language for the most part, being able to converse without having to construct a sentence thus limiting my ability to absorb the moment and converse deeply was a significant bonus that I didn’t fully appreciate the last time I visited London.

From running into spaniel pup after spaniel pup on nearly every walk I found myself, discovering the country’s love for dogs to be akin to my own, delighting in the observance of Parliament’s discussion on the budget presented by the treasurer alongside the Prime Minister, and having a good cup of tea wherever I found myself, I began to realize my Anglophile nature is far stronger than I give it due.

12. Slow down and pack your wellies

As someone who grew up in the country able to wander about on 20 acres of wide open spaces and Mother Nature nearly everywhere I gazed, being back on a farm (that was far larger than what I knew), pulling on my boots to go about my business outside and simply wandering about in the fields felt like home. Having the chance to take a walk with the owner through the pastures with her dogs, I felt a kinship I have not felt in some time with the daily routine of stepping outside, no leashes required and land aplenty.

In all sincerity, thank you to my British readers who reached out while I was traveling in the country, said hello and shared with me where they from with regards to Devon. Your warmth and invitations made me feel most welcome. I am in all seriousness taking a long look at England as a future destination to live for a long-term basis once I attain a visa and would be open to receiving any and all advice and recommendations you have about . . . well, anything.

Now some TSLL readers may be saying, what about France? And I will quickly assuage your fears, France will always have a special place in my heart. In fact, simply knowing I was so close to the Gallic land made me even more eager to hop the channel, but I will save that for this summer (more details on that trip to be shared in the coming months). And I couldn’t imagine a more lovely combination than living in England and having France so near to visit when able, more frequently than not, could you?

Until life’s journey reveals more of her answers, I will trust in Jane Austen’s words from Persuasion, “Time will explain.” Of that, if the past is any indication, it most certainly will, so long as we each stay attentive, observant and reveling in the journey as we travel along.

Be sure to stop by the blog on Friday for a detailed post on the cottage I stayed in, how to rent it or one similar to it throughout the English countryside. As well, the big reveal of the new addition to the simply luxurious life destination will be shared on Friday, much of which was inspired by my stay in Devon.

~View more posts from the Archives of Shannon’s Journey here.

My Discoveries in the Devon Countryside published first on http://ift.tt/2pewpEF