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tojisun · 2 months ago

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the hand that feeds you

— “i take care of her, s’all.”

johnny mactavish x f!reader

cw: 18+ work - minors dni; age difference; daddy issues (kinda the central plot); cooking as a love language; slow burn but in high speed; a breath of angst; power imbalance; canon divergence - regular/non-military life au // amazing divider by @gildui! // 6.5k words

extra notes: this is a very self-indulgent work. there are holes in the plot, 100%, so ignore those holes pretty pls </3 also ik this is more of a captain johnny-verse but midway through, i started projecting so i might’ve written him incorrectly and im really sorry for that!!

being roommates with johnny is not as weird as it is; he’s amicable, at first, then full blown nice when days passed. he’s not loud, per se, but there’s always a constant chatter streaming from his space, like he physically can’t sit still through the silence which is great because you don’t fare any better with the stillness too, so reminiscent of how it was in the suburbs.

you moved to a neighbourhood just skirting past the inner city just because it’s a lot cheaper. but even then, rent was always high and your little box in a rundown complex wasn’t going to sustain you forever even if you wished it would. then, an opening in johnny’s townhouse was posted, almost half-price than whatever is up in the market, and it’s great despite your skepticism. hell, it’s more than great �� it’s lifesaving.

your shitty job at the bookstore really can’t cover much of your expenses anymore, and sure student loans and the grant is great, but the growing debt makes you wince so it’s whatever at this point. you’re about to graduate soon anyway, pooling work experience from volunteering and club organizations, and it’s not like you can even go back to how it was.

(underway to law school, primed up before your father’s scrutiny but the burnout got to you before you could even write the LNAT. you realized that being a barrister wasn’t really what you wanted so you changed programs, midway, and switched to children’s education.

god, the disappointment in your pa’s eyes was so big, you knew to pack your shit before he could even kick you out.)

it’s… tough.

god, is it tough. none of your old friends and colleagues could stay in contact, which you don’t hold against them because most of them, by now, have graduated and entered law school. you’re straggling about two years back because of the switch in programs, and everything’s gone too tight. your budget. your social life.

your dating life.

johnny often distracts you from it all — he works in downtown, in one of those high-rise buildings often reserved for limiteds or holding companies, and has to travel off the city every three months. he makes good money, he said jovially, and you know it’s a nudge as to why your portion of the rent is cheap in the first place.

when you finally bit the bullet and asked why he put up one of the rooms in the market, johnny just shrugged and said he needed someone to house sit but sort off permanently. said something like last time he left, the pipes bursted and he couldn’t really fly back to help with the repairs.

it’s great being with him. he’s bright and bubbly, but also dependable in ways you never really thought about. like—

well, it’s all mundane things so listing them feels embarrassing, and it makes you feel as though you’re a touch-starved damsel and johnny just so happened to be the next older man to give you any attention and his time. but you can’t help it. god, you can’t help preen at the way he exists beside you.

he’s just so… beautiful, is what it is.

rugged and charming and loud and filling. the townhouse is too big for the two of you, but johnny makes it work. makes it feel like the two of you just fit into each other’s spaces.

early mornings are spent with him lilting between english and scottish, his exhaustion plastered onto him even after he’s downed two cups of coffee. he bumps his hip onto yours when he ambles out to prepare for his work, grumbling something like good morning and how’re you. afternoons are more lively and productive; it’s of you coming back from campus at six in the evening only to find him in the kitchen, fixing up dinner. it’s always something fancy and rich in flavour; something he always eats with wine on the side.

you, uh, you never thought he could actually cook, let alone feed himself well, but there he was, always a plate ready for you too like it’s expected that you’ll eat dinner with him. like spending time with him was just natural — the sky is blue, the ocean’s deep, and you and johnny fall into each other like there is an invisible string pulling you close to him.

it’s a beautiful change of pace, and there are more days now when you can breathe in a little easier, and you know it’s all because of johnny. it’s all him who pulled you out of your slump and out of that darkness and gave you the room, literally, to grow.

he’s beautiful, but you’ve said that already, haven’t you? he’s just… so good to be with.

then, johnny began picking up and bringing some home.

the first time it happened was shocking, really.

you had an early morning, something that’s so murky now in your memories so you’re unsure if it was anything uni related or work related, just that it was five in the morning and you were clambering downstairs as quietly as you could. you rounded the length of the hallway from the platform to the kitchen when you ran into someone.

“steady,” she’d said, voice hoarse and loud in her shock too.

you yelled, jumping, arms swinging because was there an intruder, and it took johnny physically subduing you for you to calm down. looking back now, you burn in embarrassment, but then you had been so worried, your body wound up so tightly in your fear.

“shh,” johnny had murmured with that wry grin. “s’just me, lass.”

your eyes danced between him and the brunette — pretty even in her rumpled shirt, with long legs and a small waist — trying to understand what was going on. you are sure johnny had told you before that he wasn’t seeing anyone so who—

“your girlfriend?” she asked johnny, turning to him with her lips pursed and her brow cocked up.

the question settled in your stomach, doing wonders to your already-fragile psyche. you’d just spent hours thinking about johnny and what he meant to you; what living with him meant. how it eased up something carved within the trenches of your being, like you’d always been waiting for someone like him.

the question was a reminder, like prickling you with icicles, leaving you to navigate the swoop. but johnny had laughed, nothing mean but so dismissive that you felt the curl of shame brandishing from the base of your spine like johnny was laughing at you.

“oh, nah,” he replied, arm still slung over your shoulders. “she’s sorta my ward, yes? i take care of her, s’all.”

that’s all. you’re nothing more to him but a ward. a tenant. not even a friend—

she hummed, then leaned over to kiss johnny, her eyes still drawn to you like she’s watching, waiting for a reaction, and when she got none, she trudged to the door. you and johnny watched as she bent down to slip in her shoes, some stilettos with red bottoms, before wordlessly disappearing into the darkened morning.

“pretty,” you chirped, trying to break the tension of whatever that was.

johnny laughed in that way that surely crinkled his eyes, only to steer the conversation away by asking why you were up early. you remembered what you had to do and you dived to the kitchen in a flurry, chatting about the deadlines and due dates — so it was a school thing — and johnny just watched, silent, humming, eyes still curved in his glee.

you left no sooner than his… paramour did and, for a while, that was that.

but your semester is coming to a close and your schedule is changing, but so is johnny’s. he’s coming home later and later, but always seemed to offer apologies in the form of easy-to-microwave meals for your dinner. they’re still homemade, probably cooked up in the morning before he left for work, and you’d messaged him to say that he didn’t need to worry about you. that, sure, you came to him amidst financial struggle, juggling work and school, and trying to decide if you would have to starve this month because of rent, but you can cook. for yourself and for him too.

johnny’s face did a terrible thing when you mentioned that in person, the first in a while after things got hectic.

“what,” you bit out, embarrassed.

“nothing,” he said, blinking like he was realizing things he shouldn’t. “s’fun doing things f’r you.”

then he clamped up, spooning soup into his mouth, some of it messily dribbling into his chin. it’s not like you were doing any better, with how your throat closed up at his words, eyes going wide.

it’s been a thing, is what it is, but neither of you two have ever acknowledged that it’s a thing. it’s been a wordless experience — of johnny taking over things when it comes to the house because of course he will, it’s his home, but he always covers things for you too. things you’re sure normal landlords don’t really worry about, but not johnny.

there’s always extra food in the kitchen, extra blankets when the weather dips. there’s even a new cooling machine for the summer even though you know johnny’s room already has an installed air conditioning. he’s even changed the seats in the dining room because he caught you once hitting your hip after an all-nighter on a project.

then, he refurbished the den to make it your office.

“you didn’t have to,” you told him, mind racing at your savings, wondering if he was going to increase your rent.

johnny just shook his head with an almost fond roll of his eyes and clapped your back, arm hovering there. “s’all yers, hen.”

everything he did always accounted for you. so why the women?

they’re all long limbed and trimmed waist, with eyes that sparkled even when all you’ve seen of them is always within the poorly-lit hallway. they have voices that curl teasingly, breathy like they’re enticing johnny for one more night. and they’ve always, always, treated you like a—

like a kid.

a burden, almost, of johnny’s.

and, hell, maybe you are. johnny’s almost twice your age; he’s also already well-established in his career, some senior position that you can’t really follow but one he talks about with fondness. he’s got land rover-money, the car in his garage big and black and almost military grade, and it looks so expensive especially beside the crappy civic you were able to snag for a cheap price because it’s got about three-hundred-thousand mileage already.

you’ve got nothing to give him, other than the lousy rent payment that he doesn’t even really need but is just asking for courtesy because it’d be so weird for him to offer a room, or two now given you have the den too, for free. you’ve got nothing on your name, and if it isn’t pity that makes johnny care for you, then you don’t know what.

maybe his string of one-night stands are right — you are just a kid.

that maybe you really are still too wet behind the ears for the real world that you go running to the next person that could protect you from it, stumbling into his life and licking up every drop of his attention, mistaking his kindness for devotion. his care for love.

you should have known, then, that the thoughts would ripple, leaving you to feel like the days are unnavigable. obsession quickly took root, growing fangs, and it ensnared you; a vice noose at what had been a pleasant coexistence.

hell, you can barely stand being with johnny because of the jealousy. it’s a shameful thing, but a part of you thinks you deserve johnny more than the others do.

you tell yourself that nobody knows about johnny’s nightmares and the horrors that spill from his lips when it’s twelve in the morning and the two of you have hit the bourbon. you tell yourself that nobody knows about johnny’s aversion to the windows in the living room; that the reason why the curtains are a deep green is not to match the new plants he’s allowed you to fill up his home but because they shroud the panels more than the cream ones had. you tell yourself that nobody knows that johnny can sing; that he can cook a mean tomahawk; that he likes reading; that his wrists were hurting so he’s currently scheduled for a surgery; that he’s soft to you.

the women don’t know this johnny, you tell yourself, nails clawing at the hems of your chest. they don’t know him the way i do.

it’s a pathetic whisper. it’s so laughable. so juvenile.

they’re right. they’re right.

(you’re just a—)

“i don’t see you anymore,” johnny murmured one morning, when things have gone quiet again, a cup of coffee sitting on the counter while he watches you throw orange peels into the garburator.

he just got back from a work trip in aberdeen, his exhaustion loud on his face. his hair is overgrown, the bottom ends of his mohawk curling along his nape. he was there for over three weeks, skirting almost close to a month — the longest he’s ever been away — and you had tried so hard not to message. not to drop casual check-ins because you’re sure no tenant ever does that to their landlord, but johnny had remained just as friendly; asking things like if you wanted another potted plant, a monstera or a dragon tree, or if you still had that swiss chocolate he brought home as a gift, or—

the list of his questions grew, but you’ve given him clipped replies, not knowing how to act right anymore since your quiet realization. even the “thing” that you thought you shared with him had fizzled at the drop of the women coming-and-leaving, and you are left to pick up the pieces.

it’s not like you’re broken or ruined or angry. god, no you aren’t.

but you feel unsteady, like now that you know that you liked him more than he liked you, you forgot how to breathe. how to live without that looming burden because your affection is nothing but a burden.

what will johnny do if he finds out? you can’t afford a new place to move into, not when you’re so close to graduating, the finish line just about to graze your very fingertips with how near it is. money is still tight, and johnny has already spoiled you rotten. has shown you how it is to live a comfortable life. and if he learns of your feelings, you would lose this. more than anything, you would lose him.

so you detached yourself from the noose, curling into yourself and using his work trip as a way to move on.

jesus — move on, huh? like there was a ‘you and johnny’ to even move on from. like there was anything there to read. like there was anything there to pull away from; twitching fingers drawing back into the spaces of your ribs, tucking yourself away from his warmth.

“i’ve been so busy, john,” you muttered, just as tired.

“yeah?” he said, still light. still jovial. “let me cook something nice for ye, huh? reward yer hard work and all.”

“i can’t.” you swallowed down the prickle lodged in your throat, eyes ducking away to avoid seeing his. “i’ve got a meeting with the club.”

(you missed the way johnny’s smile dipped.)

“oh,” he said.

you shrugged, internally wincing at your weak attempt at being normal, before gathering your thermos and your messily-wrapped sandwich. johnny was still standing by the counters when you turned around from the sink, his bulk so close to yours in ages. it had been so long since you could just reach over and feel his warmth; feel the soft pudge of what once were hardened muscles.

he’s looking at you with such sad eyes that it’s jarring to truly see because he’s looking at you like—

like he’s losing you.

“i’m gonna…” you trailed off, not really knowing how to end this truly awkward interaction.

“yeah, f’course,” he croaked out. “take care of yerself huh, lass?”

“thanks.” the smile on your face felt more like a grimace. “see you.”

he said nothing more after that, his eyes still searching; still furrowed like something’s changed and something’s happening, and it made your stomach drop because please. please don’t let him notice.

but johnny just watched as you went, his coffee all forgotten.

(something bloomed in the soft press of your heart, flickering like a young ember. you’ve never realized how longing could feel like your mouth is stuffed with cotton.)

johnny hasn't picked up since his return from aberdeen.

they’re getting a new firm so the shuffling has been brutal, leaving johnny to clamber out at five in the morning before coming back home when it’s pushing 11pm. the scruff on his face is becoming more unkempt, salt and pepper becoming more intense, but even then, he’s never looked more ruggedly beautiful as he is now.

it’s like he’s aged years and you shouldn’t be reacting so strongly to the change, but looking at johnny now makes you ache in a different way — core throbbing, throat parched and eyes stinging as you watch him. you’re so drawn to his gravitational pull, unable to detangle yourself now that it feels like he’s more back in your life than he ever was.

and you know it’ll end up hurting you. that you’ll go back to isolating yourself at the drop of a new girl in the house, the smell of her chanel or bvlgari perfume filling up the crevices that you’ve dutifully dusted every saturday morning while johnny’s out for a run. he’s made having casual lovers a cycle, one that you cannot blame him for because johnny doesn’t like you back.

but johnny’s been so attentive to you these days. he’s been a hovering presence even when he looks like he’s one blown wind away from passing out in his exhaustion, his warm hand always on the small of your back as he walks you to the door before chirping a hearty, “kick ass, bon!”

he’s back to fixing up food for you, like that blip in your schedule got him all creative because now, it’s not even just dinner. you’ve got breakfast waiting for you in the microwave, and packed lunch already in your bag, carefully tucked beside the manila folders and plastic envelopes for your capstone. it’s like he’s making up for something which is dumb and wrong because now, you’re all swooping stomach and prickling lungs.

“yummy?” johnny asked, catching you wriggling in excitement at the flavour bursting into your tongue.

your cheeks tingled, feverish, before giving him a shy nod.

he huffed, something so achingly fond, and rested his chin atop his crossed arms. you didn’t know what to focus on — the scruff on his face or the hard lines of webbing veins spilling from beneath his folded sleeves. then, he crooned, “good. that’s good.”

you ran upstairs to your room, throwing an excuse about finishing up your paper, before locking the door, and feeding your cunt two fingers to satiate the burn. the stretch was delicious, raw and sweet, and you humped your wrist, trying to douse the flames burning you up.

you thought of johnny, of the way he looked and how much nicer he’s been; of johnny and the way he was so kind to you, so caring like you’re up in his priority list again, overtaking his busy schedule and the firm restructuring, and his needs.

your orgasm felt like a ripping of reality, your mind splintering at the edges as you’re stretched thin. it felt like you’ve been pulled taut, then released with a resounding snap. it felt euphoric, like the explosion of something intoxicating. something wickedly addicting.

you knew that this could never be unmade. your affections had grown their tendrils, curling past the quiet admiration and spiralling into something unforgiving. into something greater than yourself.

“fuck,” you had rasped out, eyes prickling with tears as shame rushed into your chest. “fuck.”

you didn’t need this. you didn’t need any of this.

but it becomes a cycle — wash, rinse, repeat.

johnny continues to go unshaven; continues to pour his attention to you. and you soak it up, needy and soft, unable to turn away with your tail tucked between your legs. you fall back to the ease of how it had been, hip bumping his, morning coffee shared in the silence, dinner a filling affair once more. all that’s changed are the lingering looks, the resonating touches.

how johnny’s wide hand falls to the small of your back more often; how his fingers just slots against yours every time he passes you your cup; how his eyes rove over your face, always searching for something you dare not hope for.

the last time he flicked his eyes down to watch the way your tongue lapped at your lips, swiping away at the extra cream, johnny’s pupils had constricted before a quiet groan rumbled from his throat. your thighs had quickly clenched close as heat exploded in the pit of your belly, spreading like wildfire through your veins. the pressure on your nub made you hiccup, like a whine dragging itself from your trachea, and johnny had snapped his eyes back to yours so quickly, it made you heady.

“bon–”

“i have to go,” you murmured, clamouring to shaky legs.

you fucked yourself to a deafening point once more, ears ringing as you squirted, the gush of your slick pushing past your fingers. you had to gnash your pillow cover to muffle the moan rumbling from the base of your throat, trying desperately to be good. to not be heard. to be better.

but johnny’s burning gaze on your lips was seared into your memory, blazing on top of everything, and you imagined—

god, you imagined.

the way he’ll take you — beard rough on your chin, thicker fingers spreading you wider, reaching deeper, before finally filling you up with all of him, bullying the whole length of his cock until he bottoms out.

you pressed on your stomach, dizzy, thinking about how johnny would hit that far. you know he would. the women he’s slept with have told you, anyway, in passing, describing how he was in bed with dreamy sighs like they weren’t still reeking of sex and johnny’s aftershave.

(you still wonder why so many of them were mean, their noses tipped up every time they saw you. they were the ones that johnny chose, the ones who were fortunate enough to have been his lover, so you wonder why they still sought you out like you were competition.)

“johnnyyyy!” you moaned, loud and long, your fingers prodding at your walls, and you knew that you’d regret the wrangled cry later, but you didn’t care then, too busy swimming in the aftermath of your orgasm.

but johnny heard it anyway.

he told you that he had heard you.

it happened so quickly — one moment you were bent over the espresso machine, fiddling with the levers with bleary-eyed attempts, then the next thing you knew was that johnny was crowding you, trapping you between the warm bulk of his body and the counter, his eyes furrowed so deeply which made the lines on his forehead run much deeper.

“whu’?” you asked, blinking tiredly at him.

johnny just did this shaky breath that rattled his whole body, like he was propped up by a couple of sticks instead of his whole mass. the mood shifted with that weak inhale though, and you turned to fully face him, ignoring the beeping machine because johnny was still looking at you with those eyes.

the ones that made you feel seen, read, and laid bare before him. like he could weave his eyes past the fabrics of your shirt to peek into the very jagged shards of your heart and see the cross that you’ve been carrying. like he knew things about you that he shouldn’t.

“johnny?” you prodded again, finding his silence alarming.

“yer too young for me, m’eudail,” johnny finally rumbled out, voice thick and deep.

and it’s—

what.

your mind was pressing into your skull, trying desperately to link your synapses together; for the fog to clear and for your coherence to rise above the pull of drowsiness, but johnny was faster. like now that he’s said the first words, the rest just follow, unstoppable in their force and in their meaning.

“i told myself i couldn’t,” he murmured, still breathing shakily; gaze still too fragile. “that yer lookin’ for nothin’ like me, and that yer just tryin’ to get out there with yer career.”

he lifted a hand, fingers twitching, before balling it back down to a fist.

“told myself i’ve gotta let go. found a way to cope and shit.”

johnny took another ragged breath in, and it startled you into gulping one of your own — you didn’t even realize that you’ve held your breath as he spoke to you, your chest clenching tightly as your mind began to link the passageways together, filling you in on what he wasn’t really saying.

“but carin’ f’you was so easy. christ, it was even delightful, hen.” he chuckled, something that was somewhat raw and pained.

you licked at your lips, blinking wide eyes open. johnny tracked the movement, his nose flaring like you’ve done something more than a subconscious thing, his shoulders going taut.

“i like doing all sorta things for you. liked seeing y’eat what i cooked; liked seeing y’use what i got f’you. liked watching y’come home to me. to me.”

a soft sound echoed between the two of you, and it took you an embarrassingly long time to realize that it was a breathless whimper that petered out from the base of your throat. you didn’t even realize that you’ve curled into yourself, almost like you’re trying your best to shrink before johnny, and johnny crooned.

callused palm cupped the round of your cheek, his thumb swiping just underneath your eye. “told myself yer too young; that surely yer looking for someone closer to yer age, but bon, i heard y’last night.”

you startled in his hold, a quiet gasp piercing through the heat. johnny’s lips danced with mirth.

“s’right. heard a loud thump against the wall and ran upstairs, all worried, but guess my surprise, yes? y’were moanin’ my name so loudly, it’s like y’left yer door open.”

“johnny, i–”

“tell me,” he said, moving closer, his chest pressing against yours. “tell me t’stop, bon, an’ i will. but y’ve got to tell me. y’ve got to push me away.”

you looked at him, your eyes trembling at what he was laying out thickly, and your throat going parched at the blanketing desire rippling from him. there were so many things you wanted to ask, but his breath was tickling the bridge of your nose, dancing so close to the bow of your lips, and your heart ached.

desire coursed through you in waves, dribbling from the cup, and you lurched forward, chasing after his lips.

johnny melted into you. his hesitant touch turned greedier, more possessive, mapping your body and pulling you closer into him. his mouth devoured your own, gulping down the pleased little sighs and keens spilling from your lips. he kissed like a man starved, but you weren’t any softer; all nippy and desperate, fingers digging into his hair and fisting at the thin strands.

it was feverish, almost to a boiling point, and you needed more.

god, you needed more.

“johnny,” you mewled when he pulled away just enough to slide his damp lips along the cut of your jaw. “johnny, need you.”

“christ,” johnny sounded so wrecked, his voice rumbling deeply from where his lips were suckling on the soft curve of your neck. “i’ve been dreaming of this, mo luaidh. i knew i shouldn’t but yer so sweet to me and i– i wanted.” he said that word like it was dirty; like he’d been fighting tooth-and-nail to suppress it.

it made you tremble to hear how johnny desired you just as much. he had always felt unobtainable; always danced too far from your grasp and was always bigger than what you knew you could handle — his lovers had always looked divinely; pretty, yes, but fierce in their own right like they knew how to live without johnny; and you know they could, because they didn’t need johnny the way you do. they didn’t look at johnny like you do, like he hung the stars with those thick and aged hands of his.

but as you stood there, feeling every word punctured onto your skin, you couldn’t help but begin to cry, the tears springing from your eyes to slip down your cheeks. johnny rubbed your back, soothing and gentle.

“i wanted t’take you – make y’all mine,” he whispered.

you hiccuped, shaky from the weight of your hunger, and nuzzled close. your hands fell from fisting his hair so you could claw at the sharp corners of his shoulder blades, feeling the muscles there rippling, all taut when he bent forward and kissed you.

“please,” you began, feeling your mind thinning because you wanted more. more. more. more. “i can be– johnny, s’always been you. nobody else but you.”

you tugged him away, cupping his jaw and forcing him to look at you. and god, johnny looked so devastatingly beautiful, his eyes all furrowed and his cheeks all flushed, and his lips spit-sheened.

“fuck me,” you whispered, tired of dancing around.

he groaned, something that sounded so pained, before he was tugging you with him, up the stairs and skirting past your room and into his.

you’ve never been in johnny’s room before, just as he had never been in yours since you moved in, and until now you still don’t know what you had been expecting upon walking in, but the smell of johnny wafting through was almost gut-punching. he smelled so close, like he was everywhere — surrounding you from the ground-up, dousing every pore with him until even your mouth felt full.

and johnny, he smelt like home.

there were no more words uttered as he stripped you off your pyjamas, sure fingers making their way down the buttons, unlatching them from the hemmed slits. you watched with heavy eyes, blinking slowly like everything had been wrung out of you, leaving you pliant and soft. johnny hummed, appreciative, and mapped kisses from your heaving chest, teeth nipping at the fat, before moving on, sprinkling every expanse of your skin with such reverence.

your hands were balled to your chest when he reached the jut of your belly, his chin hovering just above your crotch. johnny flicked up his darkened eyes at you, asking silently.

you gave him a nod, not trusting your own voice too.

johnny’s eyes had turned into slits, pleased, and hefted himself up just enough to be able to fit his hands on your hips and tugged your pants down. you shivered, the warmth in his room not enough to suppress the winter chill, and it made you buck into him. johnny comforted you with a quiet shh, rubbing his palm on the pudge of your thigh in soothing circles.

you don’t know why that touch was what did it for you, but soft sobs finally spilled from your mouth, scrunching up the desire into something undeniably frail. johnny didn’t startle though, like he knew that you had been wounding up to this tipping point, and instead continued to touch you tenderly, almost like if he could, he would cradle you close.

“i love you,” you said, sniffling, because that was the crux of your vulnerability, right?

you love him. god, you love him.

you’ve loved him since the day he sat you down for dinner and told you that you’ve got nothing to worry about, not anymore and not with him around. you’ve loved him since the day he flipped the den so you can have your own space for work; don’t mind the fact that he didn’t know if you were going to even stay, just that he insisted that you deserved that room either way. you’ve loved him since that swiss chocolate, since that cup of coffee, since he’s begun filling your painfully lonely days with his care.

you’ve loved him since and now—

“oh, mo graidh,” johnny breathed out. “i love you too.” he kissed your thigh, scruff ticklish. “gu siorraidh is gu brath.”

you wanted to ask what that meant but johnny was already moving, sitting back up to strip out of his own shirt. you trailed your eyes down his body, capturing your trembling lips between your teeth at how breathtaking he was — soft with fat but still heavy with muscles, fuzzy with hair with the smattering pooling just underneath his belly button before trailing down to where they were hidden underneath his pants.

you twitched before finally braving enough to reach out and brush your knuckle over the indents of his softened abs. johnny hummed, something that curled with appreciation, before covering your hand with his and holding it there.

“all of me s’yers, hen,” he said with such finality that you felt it settle deep within the marrows of your bones.

you nodded, emotionally spent and johnny lilted something else in scottish, so soft that it was almost a croon. you let him manhandle you — pushing your hips up so he could slot a pillow under for your back; you were so malleable to his touch as he took over, bending once again for a kiss while his fingers danced past the laces of your panties and into the damp heat of your pussy.

you moaned, eyelashes fluttering when he pressed one in, so careful and slow, but you were so wet that it slid in with no resistance, gobbling it up knuckle-deep. johnny had groaned like he could feel your rising euphoria, before nosing along your temple as he wiggled the finger around, stroking at your walls. you wondered if he was going to tease but then he was pulling it out, only to plunge two in the next thrust, curling and stretching, and oh—

oh, ssss’good.

you don’t even remember how long he’d been spearing you with his thicker fingers, rough and long and reaching far, far deeper than you could with your own, but you laid there, sobbing, feeling your slick slip out, pooling, making a mess of your thighs and his sheets. johnny had moved from suckling on your neck to taking a nipple in his mouth, teeth softly gnashing at the bud. you felt like you were on fire, burning from your core, aching for a release.

“cum f’me, m’eudail,” johnny groaned, breathless himself, his cock poking underneath his boxers, the fabric all wet from where his tip was, leaking pearled pre-. “let me see you.”

“johnny, i’m gonna�� i’m–!” you squealed, legs jumping, squeezing johnny’s sides as you jolted, hips twitching at the bloating ecstasy. johnny just pushed down on your thigh, not letting up with the pace of his fingers. he was fucking you so hard that his hand’s slapping against your skin, his palm grinding down on your clit just right, and the pleasure sizzled into something biting. into something that was almost painful.

it was catastrophic, pulling you into two directions. johnny’s everywhere — his scent in your lungs, his fingers deep in your pussy, his mouth hot and wet on your tits, and like this, like this, you felt yourself breaking.

ripping—

then, your orgasm was punched out of you.

your senses had gone awry — throat throbbing as you cried out, your eyes going blind as they rolled into your skull at the final curl of johnny’s fingers. white noise filled your ears, and it was like you were submerged underneath water, wading through the crashing tides of your climax.

you came back to johnny peppering your face with soft kisses, whispering something you couldn’t decipher past the croon of your name and something like you did good and so beautiful. he’d already pulled his fingers out, and used both arms to cradle you close. you felt so empty — god, that wasn’t even his cock, yet — but your body thrummed pleasantly, almost like the itch was finally scratched.

“johnny?” you puffed out, voice all scratchy and weak.

“i’m here, bon. i’m here.”

you hummed, curling into his chest, head pillowed by his arm. you wanted to ask what about his own euphoria, but johnny seemed so content just laying there with you, not really desperate or needy, so you let it go, losing the battle against your drowsiness before finally slipping into a quiet sleep.

johnny’s there for your graduation, carrying a big bouquet of only eden roses. you didn’t even know that those particular ones were expensive until someone from the graduation party oohed and aahed to their friend.

your cheeks burned when their friend chirped, “well someone’s clearly loved.”

you know that what they said would have had johnny agreeing loudly if he was allowed in the lineup because he is never one to be shy about what he feels; or not anymore, anyway. he loves so fully and openly that you still wonder why it took the two of you so long to get together, but the days since then had just been kind and filling that you have long forgotten how it was to not be with him.

they’re going to call your name soon, and your stomach swoops, excitement and anxiety mixing in a dizzying tandem.

you’re graduating with a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a diploma in early childhood education, and this is not where you thought you would be when you first started university, but it’s the happiest you have ever been. and sure much of your poli-sci courses were scrapped when you changed majors, and that’s also a lot of money wasted, but you have three job opportunities lined up already and it’s like the seismic shift in your life had finally corrected itself.

(your mom said she’s sorry that she and your pa couldn’t come, but you’ve stopped longing for their acceptance and told her it was fine.

there’s a date saved in your calendar, though, for a brunch with her and that was enough.)

you ducked into johnny’s arms when the graduation ceremony ended, careful of the bouquet he’s holding.

“congratulations, bonnie,” he says, a hearty laugh rumbling from his chest. “christ, i’m so, so proud of you.”

you never pegged yourself for a crybaby, but tears begin to pool in the corners of your eyes at the weight of his words.

“thank you,” you reply, soft and raw, and honest.

johnny pulls you in, his lips warm as they’re pressed on your forehead.

and this, just like this, you know things will only get better from here on out.

#suns #johnny soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish #soap x reader #cod x reader #f!reader #read tags!!

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skzthelomlhehe · 1 month ago

Text

"But bestie... He's so hot..." "BRO THATS MY COUSIN" Lee Know x F! reader

Masterlist Total Masterlist Tag Reqs:@arestoucries

Genre: smut (A LOT OF IT), fluff, romance (I literally do not know what else genre this shit is please forgive me my exams are coming 😭)

Synopsis: You and your best friend Lee Yuna, both fresh college graduates, go to a beach house that you thought was owned by her uncle. To your surprise it was actually owned by her "snobby" cousin who was to spend the entire month long summer break with you girls. And that isn't the only surprise you'll get... You're in for more ❤️

Warning: use of 'toys', fingering, public sex, pool sex, spanking, mentions of degradation/praise kink (yes both because I'm kinky), soft bdsm, kitten-master Kink, unprotected sex, oral (both M and F receiving), mentions of pregnancy (if you squint)

A/N: Hey guuyyysss~ im back finally lol~ I had so much of writing done but the og post got deleted for some damn reason. Anyways~ I'm on a mission to make it kinkier and smuttier lmao~

Also if you see any typos or mistakes... No you didn't.

Vibe with:

"eekk!! Im so excited for this!! I've never been to a beach house before... Im gonna faint!!" You squealed getting the things out of the car after Yuna had parked it in the garage. "Girl I know! Uncle is so generous to let us have his beach house ALL TO OURSELVES NO LESS!!" Yuna squealed along.

Both of you cheered at the thought of the thrill that laid in front of you. Amidst all the chaotic joy, a voice broke you both out of your fantasies, "Damn why are you girls so fucking loud?? There's people here!" A mascular voice yelled out, seemingly frustrated.

You were still at the back of the car so you couldn't see the man's face. All you got was that the dude had a hot as fuck voice. "Minho oppa?? What are you doing here??" Yuna yelled back.

Minho oppa? Does she mean the Minho oppa she always grumbles about? The very snobby music nerd? You peeked through the car bunker and your jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

"Snobby??? YOU BITCH!! WHICH PART OF THIS MAN IS SNOBBY????" You thought to yourself. The man wore a white tank top and black shorts with beach slippers. His hair was dark brown and fuzzy. FUCKING GORGEOUS! Your heart pounded in your chest. You've never seen a man this beautiful before.

You found your face getting hotter. You were sure it was as red as a tomato. "Y/n!!!" Yuna yelled next to your ear making you flinch and almost tripping. "What the fuck, Yuna?! Why would you yell in my ear?!" "Well maybe if you responded to me when I called you I wouldn't have yelled?!" "jee okay calm down! Now what's going on? Can someone tell me?!"

You looked around, the man aka Minho was chuckling while Yuna rolled her eyes and sighed, visibly frustrated. The guy helped you girls with your million bags and seated you in the giant living room with some juice and snacks.

Silence followed until you couldn't take it anymore, "can someone please explain??" You said frustrated. Turns out, the beach house wasn't Yuna's uncle's but rather Minho's and he was gonna 'supervise' the both of you during your stay here.

Shortly after, Yuna's mum called to let you guys know of it. Apparently she had forgotten to include that part in the list of things you both needed to know. So in conclusion, you were stuck in a huge mansion with your clearly grumpy bestie and her extremely hot cousin. This could either go completely disastrous or... *Aggressively fans face*

"I'm Minho. Lee Minho. Lee Yuna's very hot cousin." Minho introduced himself, giving Yuna a sly smirk before reaching his hand out for a shake.

"Ah I'm Y/N! It's nice to meet you too!" And just as you were about to grab his hand, Yuna grabbed yours instead, "And I'm Yuna. The clearly hotter cousin" she grinned frustrated mockingly at Minho, "and hands off! She's mine!" She hissed, hugging you like a kitten hugging her favourite human.

You giggled at the cute sight in front of you, "you're so cute, Yuna-ssiii~" you cooed at her. Minho leaned back on the couch in a manspread (NO CUZ THATS SO HOT), "oh yeah?" He raised an eyebrow, "we'll see about that. Though... I didn't think you'd snag such a hot friend, kid." He looked at you as if he were a predator looking at his prey.

It was a mystery how he had the innocent face of a bunny but inside he was more like a very sly kitten. "Well... I guess the cousins are similar in that aspect" you thought to yourself.

"now then, how about you guys go ahead unpack and rest up? I've got a pool too so you guys can relax there as well. Let's head to the beach tomorrow. It's already pretty late." Minho said, getting up with a heave. "I'll go prepare something to eat for you guys."

"ugh I'll skip. Driving since yesterday and eating all those snacks has got me an upset stomach. Not to mention having to see your face" Yuna glares at Minho, "I would rather sleep, hmph!" She huffed. Both you and Minho chuckled at her childish behaviour.

"this is why I said we should take turns driving!" You nagged at her, "buuuttt I couldn't possibly let my wifey driiivveee~" she hugged your arm, looking at you with a pouty puppy eyes speaking in a high pitched voice. You flicked her forehead as she returned an "ow!"

After much nagging and pleading, Yuna finally went to go shower while you stayed back to help Minho with the food. "So? How long have you guys been friends?" Minho asked as he cut up the apples while you washed the other fruits. "Ah, we met during the student orientation in college. We both sorta clicked over drinks, lol" you replied. Your eyes sparkled as you reminisced all those memories of you guys together.

"and? You guys are dating or something?" He continued. "What? Pssh! No! Yuna is so much like a child, she feels more like a little sister to me. Plus I'm straight. What about you? Are you seeing someone?" You kept the conversation alive, wanting to know more about this person.

"Nah, I'm not dating anyone." "Why not? You're literally so hot! I can't believe you're single!" Minho chuckled at your response, "haha I guess I just didn't find the one yet." He stopped cutting the apples and turned to look at you, "how about you? You seeing someone?" He asked. You stopped what you were doing and turned your back leaning against the counter, "hmm... Nope! As single as a Pringle!"

Upon hearing your answer, he inched closer to you, until he was standing between your legs, his hands rested on the counter on either side of you, his face inches apart from yours, "and you think I'm hot?" He whispered softly. His voice in itself felt like a drug. Some sort of an aphrodisiac. "Very..." You replied. Your voice low and seductive.

He brushed your hair away from your face, his eyes locked onto yours, "hot enough to want to kiss me, hm? I saw how you were practically drooling over me earlier." He chuckled. A blush crept up your face but you felt a wave of boldness wash over you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him a little closer "Hmmm... Yeah. Maybe I was drooling. Why? Are you gonna kiss me?"

A sly smirk painted your face. Your heart was pounding and you desperately wished he didn't hear. You surprised yourself by how bold you were. Was this really you? Damn... Good job Y/N 👏👏 {round of applause for the klutz!}

"Maybe I will~" he replied, his hand reached for your face, holding your chin gently as his other hand went for your hip, pulling you close. His lips grazed against yours, both of your breaths clashing against each other. You could hear heart beats. At this point, you had no idea whose it was.

Grazing turned to a deep kiss, both of you savouring the soft wet sensation. Amidst the heat of the moment, a sudden sense of deja vu washed over you. All of a sudden it felt like you've faced this similar situation. Breaking away from the kiss, your vision blurry, both of you panting, the foggy view of Minho seemed far too familiar to you. "Ha... Have we met before...?" You asked, still huffing. "Who knows~ have we?" He replied.

"what...?" Just as you were gonna ask more, a loud noise jolted you back to reality, "ARGH!! WHY IS THERE NOT A SINGLE BOTTLE OF WATER UPSTAIRS?!" Yuna yelled. Both of you immediately got back to your original positions just in time when Yuna came downstairs. "Jeez Yuna! You need to stop yelling so much!!" You yelled back.

After a bit more bickering Yuna decided to eat with you guys. The three of you sat on the grand table. Yuna next to you, Minho in front of you. She refused to let you sit with him.

You all chattered and for once, Yuna was finally laughing and not bickering with her cousin. You would steal glances at Minho every now and then and catch him looking at you too. It sent shivers down your spine and butterflies went rampant in your stomach.

After much more teasing, chattering and laughing you guys were done with dinner. "Y/N-aaaaaaahhhh" she whined, hugging your arm again, "come with meeeeee~ our oppa can take care of the dishes hehe~" she giggled, giving Minho a sly grin while she tugged at your shirt.

Minho looked done and disgusted by her whiny act, "ugh do you really think you're being cute right now?? Disgusting!" He pretended to gag while Yuna glared at him, popping up a middle finger. You laughed at the two's bickering and decided to follow, "ok fiiinnee~ I'll go with you but stop arguing jeez!" Yuna returned a very jolly cheer to your acceptance and pulled you upstairs catching you off guard.

You took one last look at Minho who smiled at you slyly before walking upstairs feeling flustered.

Having reached your room, Yuna flopped herself on the bed, patting the mattress asking you to sit down as well. You chuckled, crossing your arms, "Yuna... I haven't showered yet. You do realise that right?" "Gosh! Then go do it, pabo-ya! Why didn't you do it earlier?" She rolled her eyes before both of you joined in on a loud giggle.

You took a towel and a set of clothes before heading inside bathroom. You closed the door almost all the way but peeked through the open crack, "no peeking ok?" You warned, Yuna threw a towel at the door which you closed just in time, "you think I'm a pervert like you or something??" She laughed.

Locking the door, you put the fresh set of clothes and towels aside and proceeded to take your clothes off, looking into the mirror. You rubbed your eyes, suddenly feeling a bit dizzy when a sudden vision appeared in front of your eyes. It was a vision of you kissing a guy. Was it a memory from when you went to that bar a while ago? And if so, why are you remembering it now? You brushed it off and ran the hot shower letting yourself relax in the soothing heat of the (scorching hot) water (cuz you're just a girl 🎀)

After the shower, you came out feeling utterly relaxed. You noticed your friend was sitting up waiting for you while nodding off. You giggled under your breath getting closer to her quietly to boo her. "You're scaring nobody like that, Y/N-ah" Yuna glared at you. "Awww.... Could've played along, y'know!" You whined.

She rolled her eyes again before laughing along with you. Lying down, you turned to your side facing Yuna who was now lying on her tummy. "So? Wanna tell me why you hate him so much?" You asked. "Hate who?" Yuna turned to you. "Your cousin. You guys fight like kids, honestly!" You exclaimed. "Eehh... I don't hate him. He's just super annoying. Plus... There's also that incident"

"incident? What incident?" "The... One... At the... Ba..r.." "the bar??" Before you could get any other answer, Yuna had already fallen asleep. "Yuna? Yuna??? Hey!! You can't just fall asleep like that!!" You tried waking her up but the girl was just out like a light.

You sighed, laying on your back facing the ceiling knowing real damn well that this was gonna make you lose sleep. While your friend slept like a baby, you kept tossing and turning on your side of the bed unable to sleep as expected.

You got up, a heavy sigh leaving your lips. Your head was ringing for some reason. Just what was it trying to remember?? You went to the bathroom again, slipping a plain old bathing suit under a thick bathing robe making your way to the pool.

You loved swimming. Its what you do or at least try to do when you're stressed. You let the robe fall to the floor, gently placing your body in the water that was surprisingly warm. "Wow... Now that hits the spot.." you whispered, let yourself relax in the water.

"Does it now? Im glad." A voice spoke out. A very familiar one that jolted you back to reality. You turned your head to see Minho standing there. No shirt, just wearing shorts likely to go for a swim.

"oh uhm- y-yes..." You found your face getting warmer as you saw the sight in front you. Looking away immediately as if you could hide your expression, "a-are you gonna take a dip? I can leave if you want-" before another word escaped your lips, the man has already walked close to you. When you turned to look at him again, your faces were inches apart. "Nope. It's fine. You can stay." He smiled slyly again.

"My goodness!! When did he get so close?? How can he be so quiet?? What is he? A cat?? " You thought to yourself. Minho sat down on the floor, dipping his legs in the water while you leaned on the edge of the pool wall. It was the shallow end so you could relax pretty well. He gently swung his legs in the water while you made swirls in it. "So? What got you here so late?" He asked, "Hm... I couldn't sleep." You said, sort of absentmindedly before looking up at him. "What about you?"

"well... I usually come down here at times. Im not much a swimmer to be honest, but I've been trying to learn so I could go swimming with my friends. It's too embarrassing to do it in day time though... So I prefer practicing at night" he chuckled.

Your eyes glinted in interest. "Do you want me to teach you? Im a good swimmer myself, y'know!" It was true. You liked swimming and had been doing it since middle school. Plus, this could be an excuse for you to see him more often. You were gonna be staying for a whole month anyway. Might as well make it interesting.

He looked at you with surprised eyes, "you would do that?" He asked. "Mhm! Of course!" You nodded excitedly, "come on now! Get down here!" You raised your hands up, reaching out to him while all he did was stare at you with sparkly eyes. He leaned down, gently grabbing your face in his firm hands placing a soft kiss on your lips.

Your eyes widened at the sudden action, but soon they shut as you felt your heart pounding. You wrapped your arms around his neck, delving deeper into the kiss. Breaking the kiss, you both looked into each other's eyes deeply and passionately. "Couldn't hold back, huh? Who's the one drooling now, hmm?" You whispered in a sultry voice. He chuckled, "I can't help it. You looked so cute~" you gave him a mischievous grin and he raised his eyebrows knowing damn well that grin was no good. "What are you planni-" before he could finish his sentence, you pulled him into the water with a big splash.

He rushed out on the surface, pushing his hair back, "Hey!" He yelled. You laughed at the sight. He looked like a wet kitten who was very angry. After finally gaining stability in the water, he pulled you by the waist causing you to stumble, "and what exactly makes you think you can be so naughty, hm?" He whispered, his jaw clenching. His warm wet hands against your bared waist sent shivers down your spine.

"Now now~ let's not get hasty here~ I'm gonna be your teacher after all!" You giggle, sliding your index finger down the middle of his torso. He scoffed leaning in closer whispering against your ear, "sure teacher... And once you're done teaching me... I'll make sure you feel my wrath." His breath against your skin was hot despite the chill that followed. Your chest heaved as your breath got heavy. You felt your knees get a little weaker.

You pushed him away, holding him at arms lengths, "o-okay! That's enough! Le-lets get the lessons on." You looked away, your face a pretty pink. Minho chuckled, placing a soft kiss on your nose.

And thus, your lesson started. Each touch during the lessons sent sparks up your entire body. The sexual tension was undeniable. Around 45 minutes later, you couldn't take it anymore. The guy was a total novice and got countless giggles out of you from the way he struggled, but given how serious he was, you couldn't help but feel aroused.

"come on let's get going. We've been out here for long... We both will catch a cold at this rate." You said, looking away, trying to walk out of the water. But Minho had other plans. He held your arm as you tried to leave, pulling you in again, "and where do you think you're going, huh?" He raised an eyebrow. A mischievous look painted his face.

"T-to... To get to my room... Obviously..." You blushed hard. You couldn't look into his eyes. Your heart pounded in your chest like there was no tommorow. He gently place his index finger under your chin, pulling your face up to make you look at him. "This fast? I told you, you'd feel my wrath after we were done, didn't I?" He smirked. You whimpered under your breath, "wha... What do you mean...?"

"You're really gonna ask me that? Why don't I show you instead?" And with that, he leaned in for a kiss. At first you were caught off guard, your eyes widening but soon you closed them shut, wrapping your arms around his neck while he wrapped his around your waist, pulling you closer as if to close any bit of gap you both could've had.

You moaned into the kiss, grinding against his crotch. He broke away from the kiss, scoffing again, "hah... What a naughty girl." His voice was a low whisper, a sultry tone. You breathed heavily from the after effects of the kiss. You had been aroused the entire day practically and you couldn't take it anymore.

"yeah... Im a naughty girl... So punish me, won't you?" You huffed, pulling him into a deep kiss again. Your tongue darted out, wanting to penetrate his lips. He smirked into the kiss, granting you permission to enter. Minho grabbed the back of your head, threading his fingers in your hair deepening the kiss.

You moaned into the kiss, your body wanting more. He slid one of his hands down to your ass, grabbing it and giving it a tight squeeze. You squirmed a little in his firm hands. Breaking the kiss, you both huffed. Both of your eyes locked onto each other's in a lustful gaze.

"Let's stop at that, baby... It's just your first day here. Don't want you to get tired too fast..." He chuckled, tugging a few strands of your hair behind your ear, a seductive spark glistening in his dark brown eyes.

The rest was a haze. Somehow you got into bed wearing your nightsuit, your hair dried. Yuna slept like a log unbeknownst to all the adventures you had in that short while. You stared blankly at the ceiling wondering what just happened and soon drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, you woke up feeling groggy with the very little sleep you got. To your surprise, Minho was quite energetic as if he didn't get the same amount of sleep as you if not lesser. The entire time you both had breakfast, you couldn't keep your eyes on his. You felt shy... A bit too shy...

The day went by without much except for the sexual tensions that still lingered. Every touch, intentional or not, sent shivers down your spine. You found yourself biting your lip at the thought of wanting to be touched and ravaged by this man.

And thus, it started. A daily routine. Every night you both would come down to the pool when Yuna fell asleep given how heavy of a sleeper she was. You both would greet each with a soft kiss and get into the lessons. When done, you'd give him a reward for doing so well.

It started with kisses, then fondling your supple tits, then letting him feel you from over your bikini that barely counted as clothes, really. On the beach you would sometimes find him staring at you with hungry eyes as you splashed around in the ocean. You would pull him to a secluded spot to make out but that's all. He wouldn't go any further than over the clothes.

A week or so later, he had gotten a lot better at swimming. After you both were done, as usual both of you made out again. He touched you again, making you moan, "Oh... Oppa..." You mewled at his hot touch. He looked at you, eyes widened. You looked back at him, a wave of shame washing over you. "I-im so sorry! I don't know why I..." You looked away and before you could say anything, he pulled your face back to his, diving in to a kiss.

"why? That was cute... You should do it more..." He smirked. You bit your lip. You couldnt take it anymore. The slowburn was too much for you. (Pretty sure it's the same for us as well lol) "no. How about you make me do it, instead?" You gave him a mischievous smirk, giggling like the naughty slut that you were.

He grabbed the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair, "make you huh? You sure you can take it?" His voice was stern. You loved it when you were treated bad. It just added to your arousal.

"mhm~ I can take anything~" you hummed. The smirk never leaving your face. Your lips were barely a centimetre apart, the tips of your noses softly grazing against each other.

He chuckled under his breath, his hands reaching for the waistband of your panty, his fingers hooking onto it. "You've been warned, kitten." "so I have~"

Both of you shared a deep hungry kiss, his hands pulled down your panties making you gasp in his hold. He gave your butt a quick squeeze before one of his hands came down to your front, rubbing your swollen bud.

It felt like you could cum from just that. You haven't felt a man's touch in so long. But this time in particular, something felt awfully familiar.

It was then that you remembered, a few months, almost a year ago, you and Yuna went out for some drinks at the bar a few blocks away from your dorm. There, both of you got drunk. You were carried to your dorms by a man who had taken Yuna as well. When he dropped you off at your room, you kissed him, almost making out. You asked him to touch you, so he did, but only to an extent. After having rubbed your clit a little, he stopped. You whined at the absense of his hands. But he said something that you vaguely remember, "not now, kitten. You won't remember it when you wake up anyway. Plus, I would rather do it when you're sober instead." And left. You had finally remembered. That man was none other than... Minho.

"you... We... You were the one who got u-us... home from the... The bar that... day..?" You could barely breathe, let alone speak. But you wanted to ask, and you wanted to know. Minho chuckled, holding your face gently in his hand while his other hand was still busy playing around with your nub, "so you finally remembered, huh, kitten?" He smirked and thrusting a finger in almost instantly making you gasp a moan.

"and since you finally remember... Im gonna give you all the things you begged me for that night... Only if you beg again~" you looked at him in surprise. Biting your lip, you smirked. Your grip around his neck tightening, pulling him closer. "Yeah~ your kitten wants it as much as she did that night. Won't you give it to me~?" Your eyes glistened in plea as your lips puckered to form a pout.

"oh I sure will..." His eyes stayed adamant on yours and so did the smirk on his face as he picked you up, seating you on the edge of the pool. "Spread them." He commanded, you licked your lips and spread your legs wide apart for him to see. He hooked his arms under your thighs, kissing a softly biting your plump thighs, climbing up with each touch.

Soon his face was barely inches apart from your throbbing wet folds. His tongue darted out, licking your slit from the bottom to the top making you shiver. The cold wind flowing on the rooftop added to your arousal as well.

You whimpered and gasped under his touch. His tongue ravaging your insides. Penetrating your hole and licking your swollen nub. Filthy wet sounds along with your moans and his grunts were all you could hear. It was a feeling you'd felt never before. You couldn't understand what made you shiver more, his touch? Or the way the cold wind hit your wet body? Honestly, you didn't care anymore.

You held on to his head, your fingers tangling in his hair into a grip as you pushed him in even more. He unhooked one arm, giving love to your twitching clit whole fingering you ruthlessly. He looked up at you, a moaning mess, with hungered eyes of satisfaction. He chuckled as he sucked more into your folds.

You could feel his veins inside you. Not in a gross way. It just felt so... So right. (Yes I took inspiration from here lol. Credits to @bbokicidal) you bit your lip, trying your hardest not to make more sound than you should. That was, until, you felt a knot form in your belly. And you knew exactly what that meant. "A-ah...! Cuh-cumming! Im cumming!" You moaned out loud. Louder than you were supposed to.

"nuh-uh. Not yet." Minho pulled away from you, leaning up to kiss you again. You could taste yourself. All this time, you'd thought that kissing right after being eaten out would be disgusting but it wasn't that bad. You whimpered and begged, "p-please... Let me cum... Please, oppaa..." Minho just smirked, "not that easy, kitten. You had your chance and you blew it. And it's not gonna be 'oppa' for you anymore." He licked your neck down your jaw. Biting into the flesh above your collarbone.

He got up, sitting next to you kissing you again. "Fuck... Your lips are so delicious I just can't stop kissing them." He whispered, grabbing onto the back of your head, roughly pulling you down. "Your turn." He commanded, your face right above his bulge.

You gulped, pulling his pant down revealing a big throbbing and veiny cock. It was firm and girthy, much like his hands. You were doubtful, wondering if you could even fit it halfway in your mouth. "Go on now, suck." His voice was low into a growl. You were scared but you were equally aroused. Letting your hands trail up to his hot length, you slowly licked the tip, letting it dive into your mouth.

A muffled moan came out of your lips as you struggled to take it all in. (I legit came back to continue writing only to realise the next 7 paragraps (yes I counted) I wrote are gone. Like- gone. Apparently Tumblr didn't save it and I'm losing my mind rn. 🙂) He pushed your head further in, a loud groan left his lips as the tip of his cock hit your throat. You whimpered with the sudden intrusion. It was a bit painful getting used go it, but in no time you loved it. You were a woman with many kinks. You liked a little bit of pain every now and then and this pain was perfect.

You bobbed your head up and down on his dick, liquid oozing out of your lips. At this point, you weren't sure if it was your saliva, his precum or just a mix of both. Minho threw his head back, moaning uncontrollably at your action. You licked and sucked, occassionally pulling away and stroking his length.

"Fuck... You're such a good kitty... You're taking it so well~" he groaned. That just added to your arousal. Your mind was fuzzy and you couldn't think straight. Your eyes glistened in ecstacy and your pupils wouldve turned into hearts had you been in an anime.

You reached down to his balls, massaging his sacs. "Sh-shit Y/N... Cum... Gonna cum..." Minho groaned. Having heard his warning, you pushed his cock deeper inside your mouth. He scoffed at the sight, "wanna drink me up, huh? Since you're so eager, I'll let you swallow every last bit of it. Don't you dare let it go to waste."

Your heart pounded in your chest hearing his threat. Minho was red down to his nape, helping you suck him off. Without wasting much time, with one last thrust in, strings of white warm cum shot into your mouth. You swallowed around his cock making him let out a grunted moan.

You licked his cock clean, following suite, not letting even the tiniest drop go to waste. You didn't let another second go to waste as you climbed up on him delving into a kiss, letting him know exactly what he tasted like.

Your arms rested on his shoulder, both of you panting. Your chests heaving from the heavy breaths. "I've... I've been such a good kitty... Won't you g-give me... A reward...?"

He laughed at your desperation, grabbing your hips. "Yeah... You've been a good kitty... I should definitely reward you." He smirked. You positioned your entrance on his tip while he rubbed on your folds. One of his hands holding your hips steady while the other's thumb played with your clit.

You pushed his cock in, gasping as your hole stretched from the impact. Your head fell on his shoulder. He pushed you down slowly, helping you get used to his size. "Easy kitten... Relax... You're gonna snap me in half..." He groaned. "Big... S-so... Big..." You cried. "Mm... I know, baby... I know... Just a little more..." He hummed.

You let yourself relax in his firm arms, finally putting the entirety of his length inside your core. "Le-lets... Let's stay like this for a little..." "Sure, kitten... Take your time..."

You nuzzled into the crook of his neck, letting yourself get used to his size. A few moments later, after you had finally gotten used to his length, you let yourself lift up a bit and push down. Not a word needed to be said for Minho to grab hold of your ass and help you ride him.

You whimpered and moaned as you rode him. A few thrusts later, your paces fastened. You moaned heavier now, your tits bouncing from the action.

While you rode him, Minho grabbed both your tits, fondling with one and sucking on the nipple of another. "Sen... Sensitive..." You whimpered, shivering from the stimulation. "You like that, don't you kitten?" He continued to lick and suckle on the plump flesh of your breasts.

A while later, you felt a familiar knot form in your belly again. "M'gunna... Gunna cuuumm..." You moaned. Minho was amused and aroused at the sight. "What a naughty slut. A good fucking slut. You haven't even been riding me that long... Gonna cum already?" He groaned, biting your shoulder making you yelp. "Y-yes... Yes...! Please... Let... Let me cum please....!!" You begged desperately. "Go ahead, baby... Go right ahead... Cum all over me..." He lifted you up higher, slamming you down on his cock.

You moaned out louder, feeling an overwhelming wave of pleasure flood in. Letting your load go off on his dick. Flinching and trembling from the stimulation. Safe to say, you were VERY close to losing your mind.

Minho took this chance of your defenselessness and pushed you down on the cold hard floor making you yelp, your eyes widening in surprise. "My turn to go crazy darling... You were being such a dirty little whore just now... I can't let you go that easy can I?" He said, pulling out almost all the way and slamming hard into you.

You shrieked at the sudden slam, "aah!! I-I just ca-came!!" But he had no plans of listening. Slamming into your relentlessly, his pace faster than ever. Your nails dug into his back as if to mark him as yours while he left his love bites on your tits claiming you as his.

Both of you fucked like beasts. He didn't hold back. You let loose again, blowing another load, squirting on his dick. He pulled out, rubbing his dick roughly on top of your belly. "Fuck..." He groaned before shooting out those white strings of ecstasy all over you.

He panted after blowing his load, looking at you with a gaze of deep satisfaction. He used his hand to spread his cum on your belly like some lotion while you laid there flinching. Safe to say, you had lost your fucking mind. "What a sight... What a good fucking sight..." He huffed.

He gave you another soft kiss before picking you up bridal style. He carried you to his room, cleaning the both of you squeaky clean. He put on your night suit on you while you laid there tired out of your mind.

He carried you down to your and Yuna's room where she laid asleep, clueless of all the adventures. Given how thick the walls were and how heavy of a sleeper Yuna was, it was less than likely that she heard you both. You let out a sigh of relief.

He laid you down on the bed, giving you a soft kiss on the tip of your nose. He leaned close to your ear whispering, "I'll see you tomorrow night then, kitten... Sleep well..." You blushed hard, hiding yourself under your blanekt peeking through it like a child.

He chuckled under his breath when suddenly Yuna moved. Turning to face you both and throwing her arm and leg on you. You and Minho flinched thinking she was awake. But she continued to snore. You both sighed in relief again. He waved a bye at you and you slowly waved back.

And thus started a new routine. Every night you would help him learn swimming and after each session, making out was the least you would do. Kissing underwater to full on fucking while your bottoms remained submerged. The nights felt like wet dreams of all your kinks full filled.

One day while on the beach, Minho looked at you licking his lips as he stared down you playing in the water with Yuna in that sexy bikini of yours, thinking of all the ways he'd ravage you that night.

All of a sudden you were approached by three men. They were thin and almost scrawny in your eyes. I mean, after laying your eyes on Minho, any other guy would just look like squids (skz is an exception and you can't change my mind 🗣️).

You let yourself have a small conversation with them since they didn't particularly make you uncomfortable and you didn't wanna seem rude. That was, until, one of the bigger guys rested his arm around your shoulder. That made you uncomfortable. They started cracking jokes that just added to your discomfort.

Before you could pushed them off, a voice called out. "Oi. The fuck do you think you're doing?" Minho chimed in and he looked mad pissed. Behind him stood Yuna in all her glory. Both Lee cousin glaring at the men. Yuna was a black belt in Taekwondo and also recently started learning Muay Thai which meant she was quite built. Minho himself looked menacing since he was well built as well.

Forget squids, the dudes looked like little shrimps on front of the two. Minho glared at the guy who had his arm around you. Without a thought the dude let you go. The three of them looked at each other awkwardly before clearing their throats and walking away, heads hanging probably ashamed.

"hey? You okay?" Yuna asked, handing you one of the bottle of waters she had in her hand. Her gaze soft unlike just a moment ago. Her eyes glistened in concern. You nodded, smiling back at her, "I'm okay. They didn't do anything don't worry."

Minho on the other hand still looked extremely pissed. "Yuna. Go get us something to drink. Gotta cool myself off." He commanded, his eyes locked into yours. You flinched, feeling a little scared but aroused at the same time. "What?? Why me???" Yuna whined. Minho glared at her, making her flinch. "Fuck fine. I'll go. Y/N-aaahhhh come with me!" She was about to hold your hand when Minho commanded again in a stern voice, "She stays. You can go alone." Yuna looked a bit awkward but she didn't say anything. She knew when to not poke her nose and she quietly left.

Meanwhile, Minho grabbed your wrist, pulling you towards a big rock in a secluded area catching you off guard. "What are we doing here?" You asked, you didn't dare look at him in the eye.

(this part with "your guilty pleasure" by Henry Versus is a MUST)

He pushed you against the rock, holding your chin gently. Your lips not even inches apart. Your breaths crashing with each other. Your knees felt weak.

His dark brown eyes had an intense look, his stern gaze never leaving yours. "Did that feel good, kitten? Being touched by some random guy? Think I didn't see you smile all nice and shy to them you fucking slut?" He groaned. Your breath was shaky, fear and lust overcoming you.

"n-no... I... I just... I was just trying to be... Nice..." He mumbled. His hand trailed down to your neck in a feathery light grasp. His other hand, pinning you to the rock. "And who gave you the permission to be so nice, hm kitten? I know you're a whore but don't forget you're mine, ok? You only get to be slutty around me and just. Me. Is that clear, my love?" He whispered back in a sultry voice. His eyes almost looked maniacal. As if he was obsessed with you.

You liked it. You liked being obsessed with. You loved being treated like this. Boldness took over you. You wrapped your arms around his shoulder, "why? Jealous? Scared someone else will take me, hm?"

He scoffed, his hold on your neck tightening a little more making you gasp. You looked at him slyly. Loving every touch. "You'll never find anyone better than me anyway..." He chuckled, kissing you deeply. His tongue intruding your lips before you could even react making you moan into the kiss.

That hand that grabbed on to your neck slid down to your tits, squeezing you roughly making you yelp. You tried to break away from the kiss, but he just grabbed on to the back of your head while fondling your boobs, kissing you relentlessly until you were out of breath.

He trailed down leaving wet kisses down to your boobs, suckling on your nipples while his hand slided down your body making you shiver under his touch.

He hooked his hand under your knee, pulling it up to your belly while his other hand pushed aside your panty. "I'll fuck you so hard you won't even have time to think about another dude." He pulled out his cock that was hard and throbbing. He rubbed it on your hole.

But you know what he didn't forget? Foreplay. Sure, he wanted himself to be engraved in every inch of your body, but he didn't wanna hurt you. He spat in his fingers, sliding them in to your pussy. "Fuck... Look how wet you are already, kitten... You like it when I call you those filthy names don't you? You fucking whore." He grunted. The way he called you whore just made you clench around his fingers making him chuckle.

The leg being held was almost starting to hurt as he focused on fingering the wits out of you. After a little more of prepping and deeming you ready, he pulled his fingers our making you whine. He let go of your leg, turning you around. Your back now faced him.

He rubbed his dick on your folds a little more before pushing it in. You moaned, taking him in. He held you, pulling you close to him, shutting down any gap you might've had between the both of you. With his other hand, he turned your head, kissing you as he fucked you till you lost your mind.

You moaned out his name. Honorifics? Well fuck that. He liked it when you called him Minho in that sexy raw voice of yours. "Angh~! Aahh! Min- Minhooo~ too much. You're... G-going too... Too hard... Slo... Slow doowwnn..." You moaned. He spanked your ass and scoffed, "slow down? Slow down my ass. You like it when it hurts. You like when I go rough don't you? I know you can take it, kitten. So take it."

With another hard slam, you moaned loud. He shoved his fingers in your mouth, "shhh kitten... I know it feels good but you gotta keep it down... You can moan like a slut when we're home, love. Be a good girl won't you?" The fingers muffled your moans but you really couldn't hold back. Not when he was being so fucking ruthless.

You grabbed on to his hand. He pulled out is fingers. "Gon... Gonna... Gonna cum master..." You whined. "Oh yeah? Go ahead. Cum all over me, kitten. Do it." He ordered.

Without another wasted second, you bit your lip, letting loose on him. Twitching and flinching from the aftereffects. He pulled out, stroking his dick on your back, cumming all over you. Both of you panted heavily. He took off the small towel that was around his neck and used it to clean both of you up.

You fixed your bikini, still panting. You turned to him, hugging him close. "So? Were you jealous, darling?" You asked, a sly look in your eyes. "Come on, kitten. You're mine and I'm yours... Would you not be upset if some girl was all over me, huh?" You chuckled at the idea, placing a kiss on his lips. "You say that but we aren't even dating yet..." You nuzzled your nose on his, holding him close.

He was about to say something when a sudden noise flinched you both back to reality. Turning towards the source of the noise, both of your eyes widened in horror. It was Yuna. She had gotten drinks for the three of you. But the sight of you guys kissing had made her drop the drinks. She stood there stunned, "Wha... What are you..."

The drive back home was dead silent. Yuna refused to look at you both. Sitting alone in the backseat while you sat on the passenger seat and Minho drove.

When all of you got home, Yuna stormed upstairs. You hurried ans followed her while Minho flopped down on the couch sighing knowing him going up there would just fuel the fire. "Shit... I fucked up real bad didn't I...?" He groaned.

Meanwhile upstairs, Yuna was about to slam the door shut but you came in the way, "Yuna please! I can explain!" You cried out. "Explain what? That you've been screwing my fucking cousin behind my back??"

"look Yuna... Im sorry... But please let me explain..." You sighed. She just threw the door open, flopping down on the bed, seething.

"come on don't be like that..."

"like what?"

"you're mad at me..."

"I'm not mad."

"uh-huh... Sure. I can literally see smoke coming out your ears."

"how long has this been going on?"

"Yuna please look at me..."

"I'll look at you when you tell me."

"f-for a while..."

"how long?"

"since... Since the day we came here..."

Yuna jolted, looking at you with a swift turn of her head, "WHAT?! WHEN?! I WAS WITH YOU THE ENTIRE TIME!!!"

You gulped, "we-well... When you fell asleep... I was giving him swimming lessons and we... Um... Just..."

"wait... When I was SLEEPING?!" She yelled.

"I'm... Im so sorry..." You stood there, like a child being punished for breaking a vase.

"wow... While I was sleeping you slept with my cousin?? Were you like... Recreating the bar moment??" "Wait... You knew...?" "Bitch that's my brother of course I know!! Is that why he's been so nosy about my friends?" She looked away, wondering deeply. "Huh? He was what?"

"argh girl come sit the fuck down. There's so much you need to know." She pat on the bed asking you to sit. You quietly followed.

Apparently, after dropping the two of you off at your dorm, Minho had grown excessively curious about Yuna's friends. He'd been looking to talk to you but always held himself back because he didn't wanna seem weird.

"he would always ask about my roommate but since Kim Bomi is also my roommate I didn't know whether he was talking about her or you. Should've known it was you since he's never seen Bomi. Apparently he's seen you before the bar incident too. He always stopped before asking anything too personal cuz he thought you might find him weird."

You were surprised at the revelation. Realising he might harbour feelings for you. This all happened at the beginning of your third year which meant around 7-8 months ago.

You sulked, feeling like you betrayed your friend. She glared at you, while your head hung, your eyes glued to the floor. She smacked your back, making you yelp, "YAH! WHY YOU SULKING!" "CUZ I FEEL LIKE I BETRAYED YOUR TRUST"

You sniffled, on the verge of tears. "AYE! WHATS THERE TO BETRAY?! I mean yeah I was sorta caught off guard when I saw you kiss my cousin and shit but I'm not betrayed!! Just upset you didn't tell me" she looked away pouting. "I was scared you'd find me weird or shit." "The only way I'd find you weird is if you fucked some 40 year old." You cringed at her statement. Clearly disgusted, "exactly." Yuna scoffed.

"well I mean... If I marry him I'll be... Well... You're sister in law hehe" "girl- I know I always wanted you to be my sister BUT NOT LIKE THIS??? IT FEELS WEIRD!" "But bestie... He's so hot..." "BRO THATS MY COUSIN"

In the end of the day, Yuna accepted the fact that you screwed her cousin despite her finding it cliche. You both came downstairs to Minho sitting down on the couch, manspreading and his eyes closed. While you found it extremely hot, Yuna had a cringed expression.

"get the fuck up, you ass!" She yelled. Minho groaned. Sitting up straight, looking at you both. "Yuna... Look... Im sorry..." "Save it. I heard everything." She crossed her arms, looking away again in a pout, "I know you like her but make sure you make her feel comfortable." Minho chuckled. "I sure will." He looked at you, love overflowing in his eyes. It was then that you realised, what this man felt towards you wasn't just some simple attraction or lust. He actually did like you.

He then turned to look at Yuna, "please don't tell aunty about this, Yuna..." "Don't worry I won't..." She mumbled. Both you and Minho looked down, relaxing your shoulders and sighing. Yuna, although, had other plans. She smirked slyly, "in exchange... You won't tell mum about the fact that my boyfriend and I are gonna go out on a date tomorrow." "Wait what?!" You and Minho looked at her, baffled.

She cackled, finding extreme satisfaction with your reactions. "But thats-" Minho tried to speak only to be cut off my Yuna, "come on you don't want aunty or my mum OR Y/N's parents to know that you guys fucked right? Her mum might let it go... But will aunty and uncle? They trusted you to supervise us... Not fuck your cousin's friend" she smiled as if she were the most innocent beanie in the world.

Both of you were left defeated. Knowing y'all fucked up. And with that, the three of you came into a pact. Yuna gets to hang with her boyfriend while you and Minho get to fuck around and come out to your parents at your own time.

Now... This has stretched out long. Most people would think the story's over. But NAH! Y'all remember the "use of toys" in the warning? Yeaaahhhhh~ this is where it gets wilder.

That night, Yuna and her boyfriend who was a good friend of yours since first year of college as well went out for the night. The giant mansion was now for the both of you to ravish.

Minho picked you up almost immediately after locking the door. He took you to his room, throwing you on the bed. You licked your lips in anticipation.

"now then... Why don't you be a good kitty hm?" He whispered in a sultry tone. He opened a box that was inside his closet and turned it upside down on the bed revealing a lot of things you least expected.

You see, he had found out about your numerous kinks and fetishes in the middle of fucking you. His collection contained cat ears, cat tail with a butt plug, lube, hand cuffs, dildos, vibrators, whips, collars and ropes.

"You mentioned ones that you were into soft bdsm when I was cleaning you up once. 'bout time I fulfil your dreams~" you shuddered at his demeanor. And before you know it, you had cat ears on, hands cuffed and a collar around your neck. He squeezed the bottle of lube on your ass hole, the cold paste making you shiver and whimper. He rubbed on your hole, gently shoving a finger in, prepping you until you were ready to take the butt plug in.

Once you were, he wasted no time shoving the toy in. He bit his lips, shuddering at the sight of you fully prepped to be his kitten. "So pretty... You look so fucking pretty..." He whispered.

He squeezed some lube on the dildo too which was perhaps a little less big than his. Rubbing it on your folds, he leaned in closer kissing you deeply. "You like that don't you?" He whispered, shoving the toy in making you moan ever so loud.

While he ruthlessly thrusted the dildo inside you with one hand and fondled with your breasts with the other, you laid there losing your mind. "You like that don't you? You greedy little slut. You fucking whore. You like it when I abuse you like this, huh? You fucking pervert."

You shuddered, words refusing to leave your lips. "Go on. Tell master how much you love this. Use your words, kitten." "Ye-yeeaahh~ I love it~ I lo-love it s-sooo much ma-masteerr~" your eyes rolled up almost to your head. All this stimulation driving you crazy.

He yanked the dildo out of your pussy making you yelp and whine. He took a vibrator next, pushing it in switching it on the highest setting. Your body shuddered as electric sparks ran through your entire body from the vibrations. You squirted everywhere like a fountain.

He scoffed, taking the whip in his hand, running it through your torso, "haaahh... Look at you... What a mess..." He tutted before whipping you softly on your boobs making you yelp again. At this point, you were beyond gone. There's no way you could've said anything other than incoherent broken sentences which were more like moans.

He whipped you again, your nipples now swollen and twitching. He leaned down on you, kissing you deeply, biting your lower lip. "You like that, kitten? You like being masters little slut?" He whispered in your ear. You nodded, unable to speak. He got up, wipping you again, harder this time, "words, love. Use your words." His face was stern and cold and so was his voice.

You scared by the way he acted, but also aroused out of your mind. "Y-yeesss~ yes masteerr~ I love it... I love it so muuucchh~" you moaned.

He smirked feeling satisfied. "Get on all fours." He commanded. You did as told. Getting on all fours, your face now directly in front of his crotch where you could see his painful bulge through his shorts. You giggled, "hehe... So hard... Master is hard for me~" you mumbled.

He grabbed you by your hair and pulled your head up making you look at him, "that's right kitten. Im hard for you. You're gonna do something about that no? I'll give you a very good reward~" you bit your lip at his suggestion.

Pulling his pants down, his bulge sprang up slapping your face. You wasted no time, shoving his entire lenght inside your mouth. At this point, you were used to his size so it didn't hurt as much as it did before. You went ahead, bobbing your head up at down, swallowing and sucking around his cock.

He threw his head back, groaning as you sucked him off. The feeling was phenomenal. It was something neither of you had felt before, making the experience all the more better. After a while of sucking, he was close. "Hold it in your mouth, kitten. Don't you dare swallow it." He commanded. You fastened your pace as he shot his load inside your mouth, filling you up with warm cum.

He grabbed the back of you head and brought you close to his face. "Show me." He commanded. You opened your mouth wide, bringing out your tongue a little to show him how his milk was in your mouth. He smiled contented, "swallow." Without a thought, you did as asked.

"what a good fucking girl." He grunted, kissing you roughly. "Go ahead... Tell me what you want for a reward?" He huffed. "Fu... Fuck me..." You mumbled. He let you fall on the bed, grabbing the leash attached to your collar and pulling you close, "louder kitten. I can't hear you." "Fuck me master... Fuck me pleeaassee...~"

With that, he smirked, letting go of the leash, snatching away the vibrator too. "Since you're asking so nicely... How can I say no, hm?" He positioned himself on your entrance, thrusting in without warning making your arch your back.

"yeeaahhhh~!! Just like that!!" You moaned while he thrusted in you ruthlessly. He grabbed the leash again, pulling you close kissing you. Your wrapped your arms around him, "te... Tell me... Im your... Your favourite... Tell me I'm yours..." You begged. "Yeah... You're mine kitten... Only mine... No one else's... I love you so much kitten... I love you so much, Y/N."

You felt a shift in the mood when he called your name. What was a rough just a moment ago suddenly became sensual. Feather light touches gliding down your torso, the tight tug on your collar that suddenly felt gentle, his pace still fast yet loving. It felt like you were drugged. Intoxicated in the strongest aphrodisiac.

It felt like time had slowed down. Both your breaths shaky and heavy. Both of you divulged into a deep passionate kiss while he thrusted into you like there was no tomorrow. It felt like you were the main character of an R-rated romance novel being fucked by your lover. (4th wall break who?)

A few more thrusts later, you reached your climax. Digging your nails into his back. With one last push, he came inside filling you up.

He flopped on you, his weight feeling a different kind of warm and comfy. After a bit of lying there still, a sudden thought occured to you. "Wait... Did you just cum inside...? Without a condom...?" You looked at him horrified. He got up immediately, "fuck!! Im so sorry, y/n!! I got lost in the flow and..." He rushed to the bathroom, wiping you clean desperately praying for the worst to not happen.

Usually, you would worry your ass off over this. But you were just too tired. Your entire body ached from the action. "Fuck... Forget it... Im tired..." You mumbled. Minho kissed you on the forehead, "it's okay love... Sleep. I'll clean you up." You hummed and nodded, drifting off to sleep.

Next morning, you woke up at around 11:30. You were fully clothed but you felt wet down there. Rubbing your eyes you wondered if he had missed a spot or two. You got up and went to your bathroom. To your utter surprise, a delightful one at that, it was your period.

"MINHO OPPA!!!" You yelled from the bathroom. You heard something crash downstairs and soon Minho came in slamming the door open. "WHATS WRONG?!" He yelled back. His eyes dropping to your pants laying on the floor as you stood in the bathroom pantsless. "Y-Y/N!! I know I've seen everything but cover up please!!" He looked away shyly.

"aahhh that's for later!!! I started my period!! Im not gonna be pregnant!!!" You jumped in joy. "Oh.." he looked a bit disappointed. You walked up to him, (still pantsless btw) and held his face gently. "What's wrong? Did you wanna impregnate me?" "We-well no but like... Argh I don't know I'm just being dumb." (Minho admitting he's dumb?!?!?! Now you know this is just a fic.) You chuckled at his response, giving him a kiss.

"also... To respond to your statement last night..." You paused, smiling at him, "I love you too..." "Hu-huh?? What??" He looked surprised and confused. "Well... Ever since the bar incident I've been looking for you too... And well... Although I'm not very sure about my feelings... Spending the past few weeks with you... I know my feelings aren't just an attraction towards you..."

He hugged you tight, "thank... Thank you..." He sniffled. You giggled by his actions. You'd thought he was so mature and stuff but really... He was just a little child at heart.

Both of you decided to wait it out a little more before going official. In the meantime you called Yuna to let her know to get some pads since you only had two on you. The final week at the beach house was spent with Yuna and Minho coddling you.

Fin~

I know the story stretched out a lot 😭 I just wanted to include a lot of things in here Lolol hope you guys enjoyed this brainrot!! It took me a long time to write cuz writer's block is a bitch and apparently I attract bitches, good or bad, left and right. Sooo yuh~

Anyways yeah that's that! Make sure to like, comment or reblog if you liked it! Thank you for reading! Next oneshot will prolly come out in like- Jan Lolol till then! Adios!

#skz hard thoughts #skz imagines #skz smut #stray kids smut #lee know smut #lee know #lee know skz #skz #stray kids #skz x y/n #skz x reader #Spotify

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moviecritc · 8 months ago

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Hi I don't know if you write about Charles and Alexandra, but what about something based in obsessed by olivia rodrigo, in a more sapphic way, maybe reader and alex can make out or something. also if you can mix it with smau would be super cool 💕

obsessed ⋆ charles leclerc, alexandra saint mleux

pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader (various fc) x alexandra saint mleux

warnings: some bad words for the three of them (it was for the sake of the plot, nothing to harsh)

a/n: i made her a singer to add more drama. also i loooved this idea, i've been wanting to write something like this so much, thanks for requesting it <33

Remember that requests are open 💕💕

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liked by sabrinacarpenter, charlesleclerc and 145,824 others

yourusername some visuals from the Paris music video 💜🩷💙

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user1 i felt so seen in the first verses of the song, i'm also a sucker for gossip

charlesleclerc 💜😍

user2 so dry

user3 what is someone so cool like yn dating someone so boring and simple like charles

user4 graduated in cuntology with a master in slayfication and cum laude in mother is mothering 101

sabrinacarpenter princess of glittery gel pen songs 💜💜💜💜

user5 IM SO IN LOVE

user5 that i might stop breathing

user6 yn using paris as a joke bc charles is monegasque is beyond cuteness

user7 GOALS.

user8 imagine having YN LN as a gf and NOT POSTING HER leclerc you better watch out

user9 it's giving taylor and joe

user10 THE HEARTSSS never beating bi allegations

When Y/N saw the Instagram notification, curiosity got the better of her. Just curiosity. She and Charles had been dating for almost six months, and this was the girl he had been with before her, so she simply wanted to know who she was. She scrolled through her posts, seeing the life she had after breaking up with Charles; she worked at a museum in Monaco and at the same time was an influencer.

Looking at her photos, she realized she was very beautiful. Very, very beautiful. Her hair was healthy, long, and a gorgeous dark brown, her body was perfect, the clothes fit her great, and she had a very sweet voice. She wondered why Charles had ended things with Alexandra.

Then, as she scrolled through her highlighted stories, she accidentally liked one. Y/N immediately threw her phone down. "Shit," she said, grimacing. "Shit, shit, shit." She picked up the phone again and saw the red heart on a photo of Alexandra in a bikini with a beautiful sunset in the background. Y/N stared at the photo for a moment and then removed the like.

She ran her hands over her face, feeling like an idiot. Alexandra would still see the notification, then she would see that Y/N had removed the like, and she would probably think she was weird. Or worse, she could message Charles, asking what his girlfriend was doing stalking her profile.

Charles was at the Grand Prix of Canada at that moment, she was in Monaco. The time difference was huge, and she wasn't going to bother him with this nonsense. So she decided to message Alexandra directly.

Y/N couldn't stop thinking about Alexandra for the rest of the day. She found herself a couple of times staring at her pictures, she knew that Alex lived in Monaco and that they could bump into each other anytime. That idea felt amazing. She seemed like a gorgeous person, and the little chit chat they had felt really comfortable, even when Alex was her boyfriend's ex.

Y/N didn't mention any of this to Charles, he probably just make a big deal of it and they would have a discussion. And she was too lazy to think about arguments.

So she wrote a song. For the nexts days she focused on the lyrics and when Y/N handed the papers to her producer, they loved it. As soon as they could they recorded the song.

When Charles came back from the race, he found Y/N staying after midnight in the studio so she could finish the song. And he didn't complaint, because he really thought the song was about him.

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She didn't even think it was a bad idea until she saw her. They had decided to meet at a private club in Monaco; Alex wore a black satin dress that fit her extremely well, with her hair loose as she had seen so often in photos and a sparkling gaze. Y/N felt stupid for only wearing a white top and jeans.

"You showed up," Alexandra said with a smirk.

"You thought I wouldn't come?" she asked, matching her expression. Alexandra lowered her head, saying nothing and tucking her hair behind her ear. Y/N went to the bar and ordered a round of shots, although she didn't need to get drunk to do what she was about to do.

She drank one and then watched as Alexandra imitated her.

"Where did you leave Charles?" Alexandra asked, pulling her to a sofa area. The club wasn't very crowded, but more people would start arriving soon.

Y/N clicked her tongue. "Charles is the last person I want to talk about right now, honestly."

"You're right," Alexandra agreed as she nodded. "Let's talk about the song, then."

Y/N looked at her with a silly smile, trying very hard not to feel embarrassed. Although she knew she had nothing to be embarrassed about, she could see from Alex's expression that she had liked the song.

"What did you think?" she asked, sipping her cocktail.

"I loved it. I never thought someone would write songs about me," she lowered her gaze a little and then Y/N noticed how she had the tip of her heel circling around her foot.

"Did Charles ever dedicate any of his piano songs to you?" Y/N asked, furrowing her brow a little.

"Charles never even dedicated time to me," Alexandra looked away a bit.

Y/N nodded, perfectly understanding what Alexandra was talking about. Charles was too focused on his career, and unless you asked him, he could completely ignore you for weeks or change plans you had been planning for months because he had to train. That was the kind of person Charles was. At first, it had been a dream, accompanying him to his races and spending time with him, but when you scheduled a tour to be able to attend most of his races and he didn't show up at almost any of your concerts… It affected you.

"Men," Y/N said simply, rolling her eyes.

"Exactly! They're unbelievable, in the worst sense of the word," Alex spoke, slightly laughing.

They fell silent for a few moments, not breaking eye contact. The music had been turned up, and they were bathed in purple and green lights, moving around the room. Alexandra almost glowed for Y/N's eyes; under that lighting, everything seemed unreal. She leaned toward her, but didn't make the final move, wanting Alex to take that step.

Alexandra smiled mischievously and pressed their lips together. It was a calm kiss, not too long but their lips touched enough to explore them calmly, and for Y/N to remember the slight scent of red licorice from Alex's cologne.

As they separated, Alexandra got as close as possible to Y/N, resting her head on her shoulder. "Are you drunk?" Y/N questioned, fearing for a moment that it was all an act of alcohol.

"No," she denied vehemently.

Y/N didn't think much more about it, discreetly grabbed her phone to text Charles that it was best for them to end their relationship. She and Alexandra kissed a couple more times that night.

Five months later

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luvvixu · 7 months ago

Text

the end

synopsis: the end of your relationship was inevitable. that's why both of you and gojo satoru individually prepare yourselves against the pain and separation of an upcoming divorce. and when that thing came, you suddenly found yourselves trapped inside the circle of your marriage where denial is present, and acceptance is absent. let us all see how the marriage walk through the end.

tags: divorce!au, ex-husband!gojo, angst, hurt/no comfort, mentioned of death, mentioned of trauma, read at your own risk

a/n: here's an almost 8k words of oneshot about gojo marriage again. i've mentioned this before but im taking a very small break and will be back on june 5 with an update regarding to the chapter of mind over matter ff. be sure to check out the announcement!

it was a peaceful morning on your balcony with satoru gojo, your husband for almost two years. you are reading your newly purchased book with your glasses on to help you see the letters.

you take a second peek at your husband who was already gazing at you from the beginning. his gaze was painted with a mixture of sadness and adoration towards you. looks like he had something to say, and you're right, he did have something to say when he mumbles your name.

oh god, you knew where this conversation would be. keeping your eyes bore on him, you fully turned your attention to him and waited for him to speak what's on his heart and mind.

"i think we should file a divorce."

his voice was monotonous and yet you knew it really wasn't, his face also did the same since you also didn't hold one either. your expression still remained calm like he was not asking for a divorce as you closed your book and then put it back on the coffee table.

meanwhile, satoru couldn't read you at this moment because you were quiet, too quiet for his liking. were you so shocked that you couldn't react to his sudden cut of ties? or was it just you already expected this the moment when you woke up?

probably, the most accurate reason and answer was the second one. satoru watches you lean on the seat with your hands clasp on your lap. he also never fails to see the neutral glaze in your eyes.

"if you are wondering why i didn't hold any emotion as you speak, that's because i already reacted a year ago." a sigh escalated from your lips as you removed your glasses also and put it on the table.

"you expected that this day would come?" he said in silence while secretly fiddling with the calluses on his hand—a hidden and canonical habit of satoru whenever he feels anxious and worried.

before this day would come, the two of you got married when both of you were twenty. a young, dumb, and somehow not stupid but definitely reckless who took a big tramp of change among themselves.

satoru was the one who asked you to get married after almost four years of being inside an on and off relationship. that was very fast and very reckless at that time—but of course you agreed because you are a fool to get yourself blinded by your love towards him.

so, the two of you got married and with only some people whom you both held close dearly attended the said wedding. it was simple and civil, but to you, it was your everything. the wedding and this marriage mean so much to you.

your marriage went pretty well in your first few months of being married. both of you got yourself a house with a nice garden that you absolutely adore, you also got yourselves a work almost instantly too. satoru got more missions since he was now a graduate, while you work in your own cafe and occasionally take jujutsu stuff.

things were really fine with heaven as the witness. until one night during your almost first anniversary, you caught him going home around three to four o'clock in the morning with a smell of alcohol and woman's perfume that's definitely not yours. he's really drunk, which was weird because he hates alcohol. you wondered what's the occasion or any celebration that should be celebrated and whatnots, but you can't think of any. so that leads you to silently crying.

you did not confront him about your first suspicion of cheating, you want him to admit it himself, but that doesn't mean you're going to tolerate that piece of shit because for god's sake! there's a fucking hickey on his neck that night, you knew it wasn't yours since you've barely had an intercourse due to both of your busy schedules.

you remember asking him about his whereabouts that night like you weren't aware, but his answer just disappoints you, he told you that he had an emergency mission and needed him in action asap at kyoto around 11pm and it took him some time to finish it. as mentioned before, his answer disappoints you, because your assumption has been partially proven.

satoru was clearly lying about his whereabouts that night but still the cheating allegations were not clear. maybe the seemingly foreign hickeys on his neck was already evidence but you're probably still in denial, so you didn't instantly conclude that he was really cheating with you.

but you still couldn't shake off his illicit affairs. why? because satoru was lying about the emergency mission on kyoto. he wasn't there, you knew that because you were the one who took the mission, not him. satoru actually rejected the mission because he's busy with other matters so you took it yourself without even telling him.

all of these things that are happening leads you back to that day when he proposed to you. it was so sudden that it made you a little bit skeptical. but when you asked him why he suddenly asked you to get married? easy, you didn't know.

however, you had your hypothesis that after geto disappeared and went on his rebellious phase, you let gojo use you to relieve his grief. that is why when you realize that this marriage is meant to not last long, you secretly cry to yourself during your first year anniversary as a married couple.

meanwhile, satoru knew to himself that he couldn't stand a long-term relationship. though he also started to feel bad for making things go very quickly with you, his love towards you is pure and genuine. in fact, he would do anything just to keep you safe and happy. but he wasn't able to do that when you're the opposite of him.

he is selfish and you are selfless.

no matter how hard he tried to change or even make things up for you, he just couldn't do it. there's this invisible dark string that pulls him inside the void of darkness. and he couldn't afford to bring you down with him. the thing that geto did really left a scar, a permanent scar to his chest that creates an inescapable hole that keeps on growing bigger and sucking his life in the process.

while you, you fully commit yourself to him. that's why everything would be pointless for satoru to let himself get hurt just to protect you. because you would literally throw yourself in the fire when he's burning.

it was like the two of you are a magnet with the same pole. you can't attract each other no matter how hard you try to let them collide.

back to reality, your head was faced downward. your husband sought for your eyes by calling your name meticulously, but you refused. an internal laugh at your pathetic figure rang through your mind, you are laughing at yourself for believing that you are already prepared for this moment, turns out, you're not—you’ll never be.

satoru mumbles your name again. and all of the sudden, you just let out a nod, followed by a small sigh. you let yourself look at him again despite the unnoticed tears in your eyes.

"okay, but let's spend this whole day as husband and wife for the last time. let's do the things we usually do during our free time." you said, and satoru agrees with you almost instantly. he thinks this is the least thing he could do for you before setting each other free.

everything went normal for the rest of the day. satoru takes you out for lunch, visits your favorite cafe for desserts, and even goes to the park where he asked you out to be his wife.

and right now, the two of you are in the cemetery, specifically in haibara's graveyard. the sun was proceeding to its dusk, making the place a bit solemn because of its ambience.

"do you think he'll be mad at my decision?" your soon-to-be ex-husband asked you with his small tired voice. haibara was your bestest friend of all and he actually talked to gojo when he's still alive about his relationship with you. he would like gojo to take care of you and treat you more than you deserve in your entire life.

"i don't think so. haibara only wants the best for us. he's a man of freedom, after all. and yet, how ironic because he, himself, has no freedom during his time in the jujutsu." you answered him as you watched the candle burn itself.

satoru looked at you. "how about you, y/n? are you mad at my decision?" he asked you a bit hesitant.

you just smiled at him and said, "i will answer that later, satoru." satoru nodded at your answer, he understood that you had a lot to say to him later.

after some time, you two decided to go home to your shared apartment. the journey back was fun and relaxing, it was filled with smiles and laughter that will soon vanish as the dawn is coming.

6:00 PM

both of you arrived at home. you helped satoru hang his coat on the raker like you usually do whenever he comes home during winter. this small act is something that would be definitely missed by him dearly, since you will not be around to do it.

"thanks for agreeing to go out with me." you said to him with a smile that almost reached your eyes. the only thing that stops you from giving your bestest smile was the divorce, but you subside because this is your last day as a married couple. you have to enjoy it to the extent.

"that was the least thing i could do for you before…nevermind." he said. satoru was not cheerful enough to make you smile whenever your eyes met. you also noticed that he was downhearted since you visited haibara's graveyard.

though as you were heading in your shared apartment, he was smiling and laughing. guess you didn't overlook him at all and you failed to notice his hidden pain.

you watched him lay down on the couch. "you looked bothered. was it because i didn't answer your question earlier?" you said quietly.

satoru didn't say anything, and according to his vocabulary, silence means yes. you sigh to yourself and take a seat on the same couch where your husband was lying in.

your hand reached out for his face, cupping it as satoru looked at you with his hooded eyelids. those magical six blue eyes are staring at you with known emotion, pain and agony.

"you didn't ask me why i suddenly wanted to get divorce…" he mumbles, nestling his head in your palm.

"you agreed without questioning me. i don't even see you cry about this. why y/n? are you hurting yourself by keeping your emotions inside you?" he continued. the pain in his voice breaks your heart into bits of pieces. satoru looked so vulnerable, his true emotions are showing exclusively for you.

you let out a small but bitter chuckle. "crying is not part of the things we usually do during our free time together, toru." his eyes widened at your answer. a droplet of tears slide down on your palm. satoru was crying, and you let him weep because you knew he's pent up.

"and i'm not mad at you. i also didn't ask you any questions because i know you know what you are doing and i respect your decision." you added.

"although, i admit. i want to bawl my eyes out. i want to scream because my heart is aching for believing that i was prepared for this moment." your breathings started to become shaky also just by watching satoru weep under your touch.

you refused to cry. at least not now.

"but i don't want to ruin this day by crying. i want both of us to savor this moment with smiles and laughter. so that when we part our ways, we wouldn't have any regrets to hold."

"so, satoru…let's continue to spend the rest of our night happily, hmm?" you let yourself smile for him to be motivated to stop from crying. however, he did the opposite. satoru cried even harder.

your hand is being cradled by him. you could feel his tears on your palm followed by his little hiccups. this scene alone in front of was usually enough to make you cry even harder than him. it was utterly heartbroken to see your man cry like this.

"hush, my…" love, that's the word you would like to say but forbids you to do so. satoru also noticed it too and he absolutely hates the feeling of it.

"l-love. call me love. c-call me like you used to call me before. first name basis is not part of the things we usually do during our free time together." he mimicked your words earlier. though it may sound like a joke, it isn't. satoru has been dead serious since the beginning of the day.

"my love…"

"y-yes, my sweetheart?" he responded.

your lips quiver from the overflowing emotions in your chest, but you still refuse to let yourself cry even when you're all by yourself. god, you are hopeless and devastated.

but dear me, it felt so good to hear him call you with endearing words. oh how you wish this kind of moment would last forever. maybe in another life, it would be. only if fate would be kind enough to give satoru to you again, maybe it will and it would be.

8:00 PM

satoru was all alone. his eyes were puffy from crying and stuff. he was such a mess. and if anyone would see, they would probably think that he's a zombie because of how low energy he was.

it took him almost an hour to stop crying. and you declared that this is the first and would be the last time that you would see him cry very hard.

right now, he was currently packing his things as he was about to move out tonight while playing betty by taylor swift. somehow, his mood got even more affected by this song, for every lyric hits him hard and he doesn't know why.

"♪ you heard the rumors from inez, you can't believe a word she says ♪" the radio sang. a shaky sigh came out from his mouth, he felt like crying again.

“♪ most times, but this time, it was true ♪”

"let me help you pack your things." you suddenly barge inside your onced shared bedroom after cleaning up for tonight. you are also in your sleep wear when satoru looks at you.

“♪ the worst thing that i ever did, was what i did to you ♪”

you didn't fail to notice that he is listening to one of your favorite artist's songs. a flashback hits you, it was the moment where you persuade him to listen to it with you. now, he has grown invested in their songs.

he mumbles a small okay as he watches you sit down beside him and redo the messy clothes he just stuffed inside his luggage. most of his clothes were luxurious like polo shirts, slacks pants, coats, and his favorite, blindfolds.

your eyes soften when you come across a small pouch that contains hair ties and bobby pins you onced bought for him as a prank. you still remembered the moment he let you tie his messy white locks with colorful pins and he looked so incredibly pretty with it. you couldn't help but to feel yourself getting emotional again.

don't cry. don't cry. don't cry.

meanwhile, satoru remained very quiet, for he was staring at the photo in his hand. it was your wedding photo where the both of you are wearing traditional japanese attire. he couldn't help but stare at your smiling face for too long. you looked so beautiful.

the wedding was very simple, but satoru describes it as one of his happiest days, and he is not lying to himself whenever he would say that. because he onced dreamed of getting married to you, and it came true. he also had the same state as you, both on the verge of crying.

"i wonder…would you get remarried someday?" he asked out of the sudden. you shifted your gaze to him and found him staring at your wedding photo. instantly, your eyes went soft.

"i am not sure." you replied silently as you closed his luggage and proceeded to the other one.

your hands momentarily stop working as you stare at them and watch it shake. "but if i do, it would probably take me a decade or so to find another husband to love." you said. but truth to be told, you had no motivation left to find another husband.

"you're twenty-two right now. so like…you'll be thirty plus by then when that happens," he calculated. "how about you? would you consider getting remarried also?" you asked him the same question.

he thinks for a moment before nodding slightly. "probably yes." your heart let out a wince but you tried your best to hide it. those words unintentionally hurt you and cut you deeper than a knife.

"w-well, i just wished good luck for both of us in the future." the crack in your voice didn't go unnoticed by satoru. he was about to reach you but then eventually dropped it. "me too…" was all he could say.

"anyway, do you mind if i ask…where are you staying after this?" you trailed off.

"i'll stay with higuruma for a day before moving out to my new apartment. speaking of that man, i told him to be here around midnight. so we still have four hours to be together." he answered

"...yeah."

10:00 PM

the two of you are sitting on the same seat just like this morning in the balcony. you are wearing your favorite cardigan as satoru was in his coat to fight the cold weather of the night.

all of his things were already packed and ready to leave. soon, you'll be alone and this house will not be lively as usual because his presence will be missed.

both of you refuse to say a word, yet. because you two are scared to have another breakdown that made this marriage even harder to break. especially satoru, he was aware that deep inside him he was not ready to let you go. he was just lying to himself because he is aware that he can heal if he gives himself some time.

"y/n, can i hold you here in my arms?" satoru swallowed all of the bitterness he felt for leaving you just to hold you again, for one last time. you slowly stood up from your and came towards in front of him.

your soon-to-be ex-husband gazes upon you. however, you refuse to meet those warm eyes that you loved the most. satoru slowly pulls you into his lap and cradles you like his greatest treasure, which you definitely is.

when your face hits his shoulder, you couldn't help but to hide your face deeper into his neck. "the place i'm going to stay afterwards is far from here. are you sure you will be okay?" he whispers in your ears.

"yeah, i'll be fine." you nodded solemnly. "i also planned to stop from my work for a while." you added.

"why?" satoru raises his eyebrow. he thought you loved your job as a barista. you enjoyed making coffee and wherever there's extra pastries left in the cafe, you would take it home for him to try it.

"don't worry, i had a lot of fortune that could last for a century. and besides, you even said i had a midas touch, so surviving won't be too hard for me." when your parents died, they left all of their fortune to you. so that makes you an instant millionaire and nobody knows that beside your husband.

satoru gently pushes you to meet his eyes. "i think this moment is perfect to give all of my secrets away. i don't need any perfect lies to hide from you anymore." he tucked the loose hair on the back of your ear, admiring your beautiful frame under the pale moonlight.

he gulped nervously, and for some reason, you're becoming very anxious about what he's going to tell. all you had to do was to wait for him to speak his thoughts out.

"the reason why i want to divorce is to have a new life and forget about the past. that includes you, y/n." though he only started, millions of knives already stabbed your poor heart. your eyes stared at him, a bit widely.

satoru couldn't bear to look at your pained expression, but he forced himself to look at you. so that you would feel his sincerity. "before suguru disappeared, he once told me to choose another path of life. he told me to run away from the jujutsu, run away from my life." he said, almost whispering.

"although, i want you to come with me. but…"

"i somehow got myself involved with the jujutsu too?" you continued it for him. satoru falls silent, so that means yes, it is true.

satoru cups your face. "i'm sorry, y/n. i really, really love you. but this is not the right path for us. you'll get more hurt if you continue to get tangled with me. so, after a lot of thinking and consideration…"

"i became selfish once again. i chose myself over you, y/n."

for the nth time, the walls you have been building around your emotional state are starting to shake once more. you could feel the hot tears building in your eyes.

you will not cry. you will not cry. you will not cry.

"i-i understand…although, you don't have to apologize for choosing what is the best for you. i'm actually glad that you're finally doing it." you plant your palms over his hands on your cheeks, closing your eyes to swallow up those annoying tears.

"i'm such a bad husband, aren't i?" satoru chuckles weakly. what has he done to deserve you like this? your understandment is something that he greatly admires in you. your heart is pure like an angel from above.

an angel like you can't fly down hell with him.

but god, you're making yourself willing to go down with him without any hesitation and that is just completely wrong.

and for the past years, satoru would make a mistake and you are there to correct him patiently. he would always tell himself to make something and make everything up for you. but who would have thought a divorce is the best thing to do?

"to be honest, not at all. remember what i told you before we got married? you are the fire and i'm the—"

"gasoline?"

"no silly, that's a song." your laugh brightens up the atmosphere. satoru smiled at your happy demure, he likes seeing you this joyful.

"you are the fire and i'm the fireman. a fireman would not function completely when there is no fire. meaning, why would i, a fireman, be here if there's no you, a fire." you raised your fingers to help you visualize your point.

"does that make sense to you?"

satoru shook his head. "no."

you snapped your finger. "exactly! you think i'm bad at explaining things, while i think of myself as great at explaining things. that's the same as you thinking you're a bad husband, while i think of you as a great husband."

"..."

"i made you speechless, meaning you agree and i'm great at philosophy!" you boosted yourself by imagining a crowd was giving you a round of applause.

your husband wonders for a moment before cackling a laugh. "that still didn't make sense to me but it brought a lot of comfort to me. thank you, y/n."

"come on! just admit you love my philosophical nonsense." you pouted, hitting his shoulder playfully.

satoru laughed once again, pulling you by waist as he buried his face in your hair. "of course i do. i love everything about you." and he would still do, always and forever.

"i'm going to miss this." you mumbled as you relaxed on his touch. satoru also agrees, kissing your head all over again.

"and i'm going to miss you too, a lot." he said sincerely. the two of you held the longest stare on this day. you just let yourselves drown with each other's enticing orbs.

satoru was the first one to break the record by sighing and rubbing his eyes. the truth is, he couldn't bear to look at you any longer because he could see how broken you looked through your eyes just because of him. instead, he hides his face once more on your neck.

“i'm really, really, really sorry, y/n. i'm so sorry for using you. i’m so sorry for cheating on you. i’m so sorry for hurting you. i'm so sorry for not choosing you again. i'm so sorry for being selfish. i'm so sorry for everything." there it is, again. his hot tears are back and now drenching your shoulder.

"i used you as a getaway from my sins and from the grief that day, y/n. you should've said no when i asked you to marry me, but why did you do the opposite?" his voice became slightly thicker, he's definitely frustrated.

"i did it for love, satoru." you answered without hesitation.

satoru momentarily stopped crying as his breath hitch. "yes, i'm already aware of your true intentions that day. but i still chose to marry you because i love you. i know it sounds so dumb but it's true." you continued.

you could feel his arms around your body tighten, scared of letting you go from nothing. it was like he was begging the gods, if there was one seeing the both of them right now, to let him be delusional and not take you away from him.

"let me ask you this time, do you regret marrying me?" you whispered.

your husband looked at you with unshed tears. "i don't. but i regret that this is the end of us."

why is it always the time where someone would tell their true feelings when everything is falling apart? so if this divorce wouldn't happen, does that mean his word would be forever kept inside him?

"i've always wanted to tell you that i was actually glad that you became my wife. i thought you would be my endgame. instead, you became the reason why i am still here and breathing."

the void of regret is slowly pulling him inside. but you are there to make sure that he would survive the gravitational pull. you just loved him so you will help to let you go.

"i love you, my sweetheart, my y/n, m-my wife..."

12:00 AM

it was quiet, really, really quiet. higuruma was looking at the two of you all over again. his eyes showed sympathy for both of you and he was sad because this is the end for you and satoru.

right now, both of you are staring blankly at the divorce paper on the table. no one was making a first move by signing it.

you let out a sigh, a heavy feeling was buried deep in your heart. your whole body feels so numb and you still haven't cried for today. everything feels so wrong, yet at the same time it feels right. you don't know what to do anymore.

as you recall your conversation with him, you just wished it didn't end and would continue forever. because you know you'll never get tired of hearing his voice, his laugh, and his philosophical nonsense too.

not to mention, you've also dreamed of building a family with him. a mini satoru and mini y/n sounds nice, doesn't it? as your eyes wandered across this apartment, you can depict your children with him running around. god, if you were dreaming, please don't wake up.

"higuruma, can you please just wait for me in the car…? i-i would like to have a final conversation with my wife." satoru suddenly spoke and nanami left without hesitation.

"so this is it?"

"yeah, t-this is the end." satoru chuckles breathlessly. there was like a big chuck on his throat that made him feel suffocating. truth to be told, he doesn't want this to be the end. but again, he has to.

"thank you for giving me a total of the best six years of my life, toru. i mean it, thank you." you counted the first four years of your relationship and the two years of your marriage. playing with your hands to mend the shakiness, it was a constant reminder that only a few minutes left before the surname satoru would be stripped of your name.

"thank you too, y/n. i also had so much fun and love these past six years. thank you for all of the things you have done for me." he said silently.

all this time, you are the only one looking at him because his eyes were focused on the paper in front of him. "good luck on your new path. i wish you the best." you intentionally called his attention.

"you're really staying here in this apartment…alone?" satoru asked you.

you let yourself smile slightly as you shifted into a more comfortable position. "yeah… just in case you feel homesick, this would be a reminder that you still have a home…only if you want to." the air in this room is very thick and it's suffocating you.

"t-thank you, y/n, really." he expressed his gratitude once again.

a nagging feeling tells you that satoru was about to go back on his decision at any minute. and you too would probably go back to your decisions you had set for both of you. it would be more devastating for you if satoru didn't achieve his plans for himself in the near future.

"let's not make higuruma wait."

satoru falls silent. now he was stuck in a madness of a dilemma. in short, he was starting to rethink his decision to the point that he didn't notice he was staining the divorce paper with tears. his hands began to shake violently along with his cries becoming louder any minute.

satoru finally lost his cool as he wailed loudly in front of you. the sound of his sobs made you clench your lip as your chest tightened once more.

you on the other hand, you're trying your best not to slip any tears down from your cheeks. you successfully stopped them from falling this morning, you couldn't afford to cry not because there's only a few minutes left before you would let yourself fall into a pit of sadness.

sensing that neither of you would make a move, you are aware that satoru couldn't bring himself to do it even though he had to. so, you gently steal the paper away from him.

divorce agreement…it read. oh how you despise those two words.

"satoru, i mentioned to you a while ago that the reason why i want to spend this last day as a married couple is because i want us to leave without holding any regrets." you started with your pen touching the paper. satoru's eyes widened, he wanted to stop you from doing it but nothing was coming out from his mouth.

"i can see it in your eyes, you're doubting your decisions." you continued as you wrote your name. in satoru's horror, only your signature is needed and everything would be over for him.

however, you stopped writing. you tapped the table to gather his attention to you. there he saw you smiling dearly at him.

"did you have fun spending time with me this whole day?" satoru knows your intention. you are encouraging him to do what he was supposed to do even if it means leaving you.

"yes…yes i do, i enjoyed being with you." he stuttered. the tears were still streaming down his face and he was using his sleeve to wipe it. you reached for the tissue and gave it to satoru as you watched him wiped his eyes and blow his nose.

"that's good to hear. i also had fun being with you. not only for this day, but the whole time i was with you, i enjoyed it." you grabbed his hands to soothe it by massaging those long and calloused fingers. satoru watches you and eventually becomes slightly calm by your actions.

you inched your lips into his fingers and kissed it delicately just like he used to do with you before. everything went blur to him and only the sound of your sweet nothing was audible into his messy world.

"i know you'll be doing great with or without me. so satoru, put more faith in yourself. this is another big step for us, and i want you to be ready just like i am." you swiftly slide the divorce paper in front of him. but this time, it has your signature on it.

satoru felt like he was being showered by the cold water as he stared at the paper with pure horror evident on his face. you finally did it, so there is no turning back now.

"h-how—when…! when did you sign it?" his voice cracked due to his frazzled emotions firing him repeatedly. satoru reaches the highest point of heartbreak he ever experienced in his life.

"when i gave you the tissue." you whispered weakly. to your dismay tears are only a slip away from your eyes a thousand times today.

"i don't want to sign it. i don't want to! i don't want to leave you anymore y/n!" he yelled. you accepted his lash out with open arms, but you can't do anything anymore. you finally signed the divorce settlement, and this paper wouldn't go if there's no signature of satoru.

you suddenly pull him into a passionate yet heartbroken kiss to shut him up. satoru eventually responds to your kiss, becoming more emotional than ever. while you are busy keeping him in company, you sneakily put the pen in his hand.

satoru felt an object in his palm, he knew you're telepathically telling him to sign the paper but he still refuses to acknowledge it, at least not yet. as he continues to devour your lips, his eyes are still producing salt tears that add more emotions in the atmosphere.

"i could see a bright future ahead of you, satoru." you muttered between the kisses.

"mhmp—you should grab it, please." you continued to deepen the kiss to lure him. but he voluntarily stepped away just to make a counter argument for that.

"but i could lose you if i do that." he whispers solemnly.

"we've already lost each other when we realized that everything was going too fast for both of us." you chuckled bitterly at your statement. "that it why it is time to face the consequences, by setting us free." you added.

"do…do you really want to do this?" he hiccups.

"this is what fate wants us to do." your voice is soothing as hell. it held no grudges nor resentment, just pure calm and adoration towards him.

but satoru still didn't bug and he still doesn't want to sign the papers.

your gaze never leaves him as satoru buries his face on his palm, weeping so quietly that you could almost hear a pin drop. it was getting so hard to watch so you looked away and slowly walked away.

"i am going out for a bit." you mumbled quietly, not waiting for him to reply or look as you walked away with your whole body shaking.

outside, there you saw higuruma leaning on his car exterior. "hey…" you greeted weakly. higuruma looked at you with a hint of sympathy in his eyes.

"hey…how did it go?" higuruma asked, his gaze falling on the papers in your hands.

"emotional." you joked.

"so, that's the end now?"

"...yep, that's the end now."

silence engulfed both of you, just your almost steady breathings and his observing orbs burning through your skin.

"never thought satoru could cry harder than he did when geto-san…you know." higuruma said, sighing as he tucks his hands on his pockets.

you nodded. "i know. satoru lost suguru literally, while he only lost me through relationship. he'd become more vulnerable around me, and that scares the hell out of me."

"i, his weakness, has become more exposed to his enemies. i know sooner or later, they would swoon to get me just to make him fall on his knees. we don't want that to happen, i don't want to be a bait nor a cause of his downfall. temporarily or permanently, satoru must not fall, no, not anymore." you continued.

"y/n-san, i hope you would also realize that failures, downfalls, mistakes, and damages are unavoidable, gojo-kun is no exception to all of that." higuruma argues.

"satoru is going to live a good life and have a future that he deserves, so who am i to halt it?” you ignored what he said because you know he was right.

“this is a big step for both of you. i just wished that everything would go well for the two of you.” higuruma smiled at you.

“we will, eventually.” you return the smile and then excuse yourself to go back inside, just to see satoru still crying nonstop.

approaching his figure, you wrapped your arms around his body to console the man. “don't go back to me now, satoru. if you cannot bring yourself to let go, then i will help you.” you whispered into his hair.

satoru pulled away just to look at you with his teary eyes. “i’m sorry, y/n. i’m really sorry.” he keeps on apologizing to you, while you just smile at him and wipe the tears in his eyes.

“it's alright, satoru. i already forgave you a long time ago.” you said.

“i can't sign it. i don't want to sign that anymore.” he confessed. a small form made its way to your temple” “but this is for both of us. don't you want to have a brand new start? how can we thrive when we both have shackles on our feet?”

“i-i thought everything was easy. i thought i could l-let you go that easily. but i was wrong. it's so hard to let go of us, y/n. and as much as i would like to do what i meant to do, it's just so hard to see us disappear from our now individual lives.” satoru buries his face on your stomach. your hands immediately made its way towards his hair as tears are threatening you once again.

“it's hard to let you go too, satoru. but it would be harder to see you suffer more when you're here with me.” it was getting late and satoru was still amidst the crisis, but you are determined to get him out of there.

“look at me, toru.” you cupped his cheeks and made him look at you. “you’ve still got a whole world to see. so don't you ever get worried about me because i’ll be more happy to see you free without any worries.

“go live a life that you weren't able to do when we were still kids. do what you always wanted to do.”

“and just so you know, i will always love you and you will always have a special place in my home.” you put his hand to your left chest where your heart lies. “here, satoru. you'll always be here.”

satoru pulled you into the tightest hug since it was literally the last and you wouldn't mind. reciprocating the hug, you finally smiled whole-heartedly and it even reached your eyes.

“whatever happens, i love you, y/n. i love you more than anything. i have loved you since the first time i saw you. and i will always love you even if this would be the last time i would see you.” throughout the six years that you two had been together, from boyfriend-girfriend relationship until to marriage—this was the very first time he declared his love to you with so much intensity.

your eyes nearly gave up on how long you've been trying to hold your tears. but you still swore that night that you'll never shed a tear unless satoru is out of the scene because you knew how much effect your crying causes him.

to hide your emotions, you pull him closer and share the last and passionate kiss as two persons who share the same surname are binded by the law. both of you could feel the emotions begin to overflow as things become more sensitive.

you were the first one to pull away as satoru was still crying. cradling his cheeks, you connected your foreheads together and said again, “let's not make higuruma wait any further.”

satoru knew it was time, time for him to finally sign the divorce paper that he's been planning for a month now.

he expected this one too just like you, so it shouldn't hurt, but why is his heart still aching? with a final stroke of his signature, satoru felt so empty. his soul feels like missing and something was taken away from him.

both have done it—a trial away and the marriage will no longer be valid. there would be no mr. and mrs. gojo now because both will live differently.

grabbing the paper with your shaky hands, you turn around at satoru and give him the final hug with a final kiss. “good luck on your new life, satoru. i’ll always cheer for you and support you until the end.”

“thank you so much, y/n. i really mean it.”

and with that, you and satoru shared the same sad smile you could utter at that moment. sure, this night will end bittersweet, but tomorrow is a brand new start.

you watched satoru walk solemnly towards the car. he looked like a ghost wandering around the vicinity without any will to search for the true paradise for him to rest. it really broke your heart that this is the end for both of you.

and with now fully signatured divorce paper on his hands, satoru felt that each step he took, he felt like fainting on the spot because of how devastating he felt.

but you cannot undo everything now. satoru had officially become your sweet memory and a stranger on the street at the same time. just as he was about to go inside the car, you called out for his name one last time.

your ex-husband looked at you with tired, red, and puffy eyes. you let yourself give the bestest smile you could offer at this moment. a smile entitled one last smile before saying a goodbye.

"if we found each other in another world, let me be your wife again!"

satoru's eyes glisten with tears once more. nevertheless, he also offers you the bestest smile he could manage. he is now letting his broken heart go out of your grasp. forcing himself to swallow and accept that in this lifetime, you are no longer his.

but if the two of you would be reborn or somewhere in the multiverse, he would pray that the two of you got the life you onced failed to build, and that was something he would wish for forever.

"of course! and i will choose you this time. we would make a family that we once dreamt of, and i will give you the honor to name our children." satoru yelled back, making your smile widen.

you could finally rest knowing that there would be a lifetime waiting for both of you somewhere in the future. and this time, you are not being delusional because you know it'll be going to happen and you'll make it happen.

"emi!"

"what?" satoru halted his steps to focus his attention on you.

"i want our first born daughter to be named emi." you've actually dreamed of having a child with him, in that dream, her name is emi. it was like a sign to you, so when you woke up, you immediately searched its meaning and found out that emi means blessed.

you are blessed.

both of you definitely feel blessed to have each other.

that being said, you have kept that name for a while now. sooner, you wished that name would be used with satoru's surname entangled to it.

because in this life, it was unfortunate not to use the name emi. you only want to use that name with him and only him. for you lived with him, loved him, and dreamed with him.

but patience is a virtue. you are willing to wait for that dream, for him. time is not a problem to you because you'd be fully patient just for him.

"have a safe journey, gojo satoru. i will be waiting for you in our next lives." you gently bow your head to send your wish for his safety.

with that, satoru enters the car without looking at you anymore. he was afraid that if he looked at you, he might find himself running back into your loving arms again.

"we'll be going now, y/n." higuruma rolled the window and waved a farewell to you.

you just nod at him while you watch the car slowly disappear from your eyesight. sad but true, you will be waking up all alone from now on 'till your thirties.

no more satoru to wake you up with cuddles. no more satoru who would make corny jokes randomly. no more satoru to who would always remind you that you have a husband. just no more satoru gojo—

drip…

a tear, followed by another, and another until it just flows uncontrollably. you are finally a crying-mess. you're letting yourself cry and let your emotions out by a shout of pain escaping out from your lips.

it was all over.

satoru chooses his life over you, and you choose satoru over your life. with your knees planted on the pavement, your hand travels towards your mouth to cover your loud painful sobs.

all of the tears that you had been keeping since this morning, finally had their freedom to flow at your cheeks along with anguish scream that came out of your broken heart.

you finally lost this time.

[a special chapter will be posted soon, so stay tuned and just comment if you want to be added on the taglist for this one — ©luvvixu2024]

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