#but I got tired and stopped writing
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Positions of Power
So, Interview with the Vampire famously examines the questions
What happens if one decides not to love or choose someone in a position of power who wants to be loved and chosen?
When the person in the position of power can then wield said power to decide the fate of the person that doesn't love or choose them as well as the fate of those that person does love? To hurt, destroy, help or save said person?
And it does this through all of its relationships although it's most obvious through the relationships between Louis and Lestat and Louis and Armand.
And it starts immediately with Louis the pimp. You see, Louis starts out in positions of power in all of his relationships. Or so it seems.
Lestat actually names them all starting with:
1.The stern landlord=the pimp/building and business owner
He is in a position of power as the pimp that governs his girls. We see this starting with ms. Bricktop Williams when she insults the alderman and Louis doesn't actually punish her for it. He also doesn't punish the girl who yells at his brother. He does punish his brother for making him look "weak" on Liberty street, therefore threatening his position of power. One wrong move in how he governs his girls or his brother could lead to him losing this position.
2.The deferential businessman
Louis has made it as a black man. As a successful black businessman he has made himself a place among the white businessmen but his position is precarious. It requires him to defer to them in order to keep that position. And once he stops doing that, once he stops "knowing his place" by having a white same sex life partner in plain view, who is richer than all of the other businessmen combined and then makes power grabs for businesses he shouldn't want ownership of, he eventually loses this precarious position of power he once held.
3. The loyal son
Louis is also in a position of power at home. He's the successful businessman keeping his family's heads above water and bringing them honor by taking care of them as a loyal son should. He controls the money for the family. He takes care of the family financially. He owns their ancestral home because his father left it to him. He even mentions to Daniel I believe that he's not just the eldest son, but the favored son. The caveat to him maintaining this position isn't what his business entails as in having a respectable business, but his loyalty to the family, to his mother. It initially seems like he's allowing for it to look like his mother is in control by having her take credit for financial purchases of his. But later it turns out to be the other way around, his mother was always in control. Because the moment he fails to fulfill his father's dying wish "to properly take care of Paul" and then also follows it up by moving in with Lestat and barely coming home, he loses the position of the loyal son and it is his mother that takes this position from him directly and gives it to Levi. And it no longer matters that the house belongs to him or that he was the one financially providing for his family.
Enter Lestat.
Who is fascinated by this man who has managed to crawl his way up to the top of the food chain in his world in spite of his race and initial financial state making it seemingly impossible.
Lestat is also at the top of the food chain in his world. In his world, he is in THE position of power and there's very little above him. Especially since he's apparently the only vampire in New Orleans at that time.
In relation to Lestat, Louis wields almost no power. Louis' is a black human. And Lestat is a white sadistic, manipulative vampire, a predator, with an endless supply of funds and to Louis largely unknown ancient powers he's been honing for over a century and no qualms about using his toxic traits against Louis. Louis' power lies in the fact that Lestat is in love with him but even that has its limits. The caveat is that Louis has to love him, choose him in turn. And Louis does, initially. When the power imbalance between them isn't known to Louis he chooses Lestat. He loves Lestat. As his friend. As his confidante. As his lover. For a brief moment Louis chooses to live in the fantasy where he and Lestat can choose each other without there being far-reaching repercussions for him within the society he lives in. Where he can be a black, gay human without it having major unwanted consequences for his businesses, his family and his life as a whole. And then he literally wakes up to the realization that he can't go back on that choice. And that he maybe never really had one. Once Lestat lays eyes on him, once Lestat loves him and chooses him it's game over. Lestat's inherently predatory nature means Louis' time is running out because Lestat's self-control is reaching its breaking point. Louis' only choice then becomes whether he wants nine unlimited lives or just one cut very short by Lestat.
When Louis rejects Lestat at his brother's funeral and then condemns him in the church, Lestat shows up believing himself an angered god ready and justified to dole out judgment on humanity. Reacting to Louis' actions by revealing the sinister side to his powers and clearly revealing the power imbalance. He reveals the breadth of his power in all of its terrifying glory and likens it in words to godly power through which fates of life and death can be decided depending on who is deserving of mercy or not. Showing Louis exactly what can become of him and those he loves if he chooses to (further) anger Lestat.
This, the power imbalance, continues on throughout their relationship. Louis' power comes from the fact that Lestat loves him which he uses to manipulate him and get what he wants out of the relationship. Lestat continues to manipulate Louis as well and continues to hold the power imbalance over his head by displaying said power in big and small ways to try to keep Louis in line within the relationship. Early on I think Lestat also realizes he can use sex to manipulate Louis. Offering it to Louis to distract from the power imbalance, presenting himself as more vulnerable to Louis, making him and Lestat closer to equals which is honestly what they both crave but can never truly achieve. Lestat also tries offering sex to others once Louis no longer has the energy and later the willingness to have it with Lestat, hoping to get Louis to bend to his will (and indulge) when it comes to his appetites. Hoping to restore their sex life and intimacy through it. Which is the one manipulation that doesn't really work. Which means eventually their relationship doesn't work since it hinges on them having similar appetites, human, the blood, each other.
In the meantime Louis tries to hold on to his positions of power in the human world even more so since he holds almost no power in his and Lestat's vampire world. Then he loses those positions of power.
Enter Claudia.
An eternal child, initially as innocent as they come, and physically the weakest vampire among the three of them.
And suddenly Louis is no longer the one with the least power in his and Lestat's vampire world. In becoming Claudia's parents, suddenly he and Lestat are equals. But also, as far as race, culture, history and humanity goes, Lestat is outnumbered. Suddenly Louis is in a position of power not only as the parent who has the most knowledge about Claudia's background having been human and a black human from New Orleans at that fairly recently himself, but to Claudia he's also the favored parent. Lestat allows it and everything is right with the world. Except that it's not. And over time that becomes abundantly clear again.
As a parent, Lestat initially softens more but eventually becomes even more the predator. He tries to regain some of the power he's lost by cultivating the vampire, the predator, within Claudia and Claudia is the eager and prodigious student. Except she isn't just a predator or a vampire, she is now a teenager with teenage human tendencies, wants and needs. Except she's not human. Incapable of and eventually not allowed to indulge in those human tendencies for fear of the human world she desperately wants to be a part of discovering and destroying Louis' and Lestat's little vampire world.
This is when Claudia becomes aware of power. That she has it, much more than the average human, but can't control it and as an eternal child realizing that it pales in comparison to that of her fathers and she will never be able to wield it in the same way that they do. The power she possesses is practically useless to her. Where Lestat was able to wield his love and vampiric power to get what he wanted from Louis initially and Louis was able to wield his power of both his own love for Lestat and Lestat's love for him to get what he wanted, she cannot do the same. Her vampire powers continue to fail her, her love for her parents and their love for her isn't enough for them to give her what she wants and needs to feel fulfilled and she has no love of her own and seemingly very likely never will.
She exists to fulfill Lestat's and Louis' wants and needs, as their daughter, to even out the power imbalance between them in order to improve their relationship with each other. She is not allowed to have wants or needs of her own. This is eventually enforced by Lestat any time she chooses to forget it. Although initially when he thinks she's done her part he allows her to leave, until the 7 year drought makes him realize that in order for Louis' and his relationship to somewhat continue to work and Louis to not peace out permanently from vampiric life and life with Lestat Claudia needs to keep inhabiting the role she has been. Also her leaving again and traveling to Europe of all places could also expose them all to Lestat's actual coven leader, Armand. Lestat's power does not extend to Europe and he knows very well what Armand does to those who disobey the great laws. Her chasing after what she wants could mean death for all of them and Lestat knows this.
And for Claudia to get what she wants from life she needs either
a love of her own
a different role that gives her useful power of her own and/or
for one of her parents to love her enough for it to make a difference.
Claudia, ambitious as she is, goes for all of the above.
Commence the power struggle.
Claudia decides that she already has a love of her own in Louis, the parent that even in her 7-year absence, chose the memory of her over a very there and present Lestat. So Claudia returns. Commence the power struggle. It becomes a game to Claudia, one she thinks she's already won even before it starts. She just needs to tweak the companionship a bit. Instead of simply being his daughter, she'll be Louis' Grace, his Lestat. She won't sleep with him of course, but she'll be all that he needs by loving him better than Lestat or Grace ever did, by being more devoted to him than either of them ever were. And luckily for her, with Grace recently out of the picture that position has just opened up. And Claudia is certain of having what Lestat doesn't know he has and certainly hasn't felt he has in a long time. Louis' love. Given that, all Claudia needs to do is convince Louis to leave Lestat.
Only it was never a game. And if it was, Lestat was never just a player, but the gamemaker. Something that Claudia never realized until she did and Louis had forgotten until Lestat made him remember. In doing so though, by exhibiting his power in all its terrifying glory again in order to keep everyone in line he crosses lines he drew up himself in order to keep Louis with him and preserve the authenticity of as well as reduce the power imbalance in the relationship as much as possible.
Lines such as:
No eating black people or if yes, no letting Louis know about this
Physically hurting Louis and his family members is off limits
No limiting Louis in his human hobbies
No forcing Louis to have sex even if sex is desired
Because the one thing Louis can still do is choose to walk away regardless if Lestat then decides to kill him for it. Either way it will mean Louis is lost to him which is the one thing Lestat doesn't want.
Commence the reset.
In Lestat acting out and treating Louis like a rag doll for trying to protect and potentially choose Claudia, the power imbalance between him and Lestat once again becomes glaringly obvious and in such a way that there's no going back to the way things were. There's no sense in pretending. The illusion of Louis having a choice has shattered. The inherent "Choose me and love me or die." that was barely concealed subtext when Louis became a vampire is now undisputed text. And has turned into "Hesitate to choose me and die." seeing as Lestat didn't even wait for Louis to choose this time.
Lestat almost kills Louis and there's really no coming back from it. Lestat then tries to regain the power and Louis initially by trying to create the illusion of completely giving away the power to Louis. But it doesn't work. Acting powerless doesn't actually make him so as evidenced by past events. The only thing that might constitute a reset is Lestat dying at their hands.
For Claudia it's a continuance of her original plan but instead of just leaving Lestat behind she now decides to completely take him off the board.
Once again it's a power struggle. But I think what changes here is that Lestat no longer really wants the power. He makes half-hearted swipes for the power but his heart just isn't in it. He just wants Louis and whatever will make Louis want him again in return. And Lestat's starting to realize all the power in the world is not going to get him Louis back. Technically Louis has all the power but Louis doesn't really want it either. Louis hands the power over to Claudia. And Lestat grudgingly allows it even though it also irritates and low-key terrifies him. He trusts Louis. He does not trust the mini version of his own sadistic self he raised in his image that is Claudia to wield any kind of power over him.
But the one thing he does trust is that he can outsmart Claudia. Until she wins a game. And then Lestat doesn't know what to think. For the first time Claudia holds the power but only because both her parents are allowing it. And not because it has anything to do with her. No. But because they're trying to find their way back to each other and all their power play has done for them so far is destroy them and alienate them from each other.
With the power in Claudia's hands, without their power struggle between them, Louis becomes numb and retreats into himself and Lestat becomes increasingly antsy and paranoid. Claudia realizes that her parents are like a bottle the top is about to pop off and if that happens there will be another power grab from one of her parents, most likely Lestat. So she tells Louis to pretty much go back to the start. To rekindle the love. With Louis' focus on restoring the love he and Lestat initially had between each other at the very beginning and Louis' heart blown open to Lestat and showing and sharing that love in all the ways between them I think for the first time since their initial courtship Louis and Lestat settle into peace.
And Claudia becomes the odd one out. And even with all the power it is at that point in time useless to her. Both her parents are lost to her, too focused on each other, belonging to each other once again, with her once again stuck in the role of the daughter simply bearing witness to their love for each other, with no love or lover of her own. Even though having fulfilled her role in their lives by removing the power play completely between them by advising Louis to simply allow himself to love Lestat without reservations and pushing him to take her advice. And Lestat following Louis' lead. With Lestat having what he actually wants, which is all of Louis, he becomes less of a threat, which is the goal. And with Louis having all of Lestat, Louis I think realizes this is what he always wanted. For Lestat to not be a threat to them sure, but not because he was dead or incapacitated but because he was completely in love with Louis with no room for anything else.
And so when it's time to eliminate the power source, Louis takes back the power from Claudia forcefully and chooses a reset instead. A reboot.
#what can I say#this show has layers#there are so many ways I can look at everything#so I wrote this ages ago#but it wasn't finished#isn't finished#but I got tired and stopped writing#I intended to compare the power imbalance at Rue Royale with that in Paris#including Armand#But I've lost the momentum#so I'm just going to post this like this#Maybe I'll do a part two at some point if something comes to me#louis#lestat#claudia#iwtv#interview with the vampire
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“You’re going to blow out your arms,” the villain observed. They watched as the hero merely grit their teeth, shoving themself through another pull-up. It looked painful, and if the sweat slicking the hero’s brow was any indication, it was.
They waited for the hero to let themself drop from the bar and accept the villain was stronger. But they didn’t.
Three more pull-ups, and the villain stepped in.
“Hero,” they said slowly. “You’re about to tear the ligaments in your arms. You need to stop.”
The hero blew out a shuddering breath. Struggled for purchase, fighting gravity—and let themself drop.
The hero’s hands were bleeding, calluses torn open by the bar. The hero didn’t seem bothered when their own hands shook so much that their blood began to splatter on the gym floor.
For a moment, the villain could only stare at them.
Shit.
They didn’t know how to handle this. They knew the hero was dedicated. They knew the hero was strong, and perpetually trying to be stronger, but they hadn’t thought…
They hadn’t thought the hero would be so willing to tear apart their own body for success.
It was supposed to be fun, the villain thought. They felt a little sick as the hero pressed their palms together to soothe the bleeding, an action that was practiced and familiar. As if they had done this before.
The hero reached for something in their bag, smearing blood on the side, and pulled out a roll of blue electrical tape. The villain didn’t understand why, until the hero tore a strip off and made to wrap their hands with it.
The hero would be the death of them.
They crouched in front of the hero, plucking the electrical tape out of their hands.
“What are you doing with this?”
The hero blinked at the villain like they were the strange one in this situation.
“Wrapping my hands?”
The villain hissed in a breath.
“With electrical tape?”
The hero flushed slightly, looking down at their bloody hands. They looked close to tears.
“It…sticks to skin, really well. And it doesn’t move, either, when you move your hands or wherever else, even if you’re fighting. Plus, blood doesn’t make it come off, at least, not for a while.”
The villain blinked at them.”
“Blood doesn’t make it come off,” the villain repeated, processing. The hero nodded, reaching for the electrical tape. The villain settled it out of reach.
“Not if you wrap it right.”
Dimly, the villain realized that meant the hero had done this enough times to have it down to a science.
“And you couldn’t use a bandaid?” The villain asked incredulously. The hero shrugged a shoulder, then winced at the motion.
Yeah, the hero had absolutely blown out their arms.
“Bandaids move—“
The villain hushed them.
“Be quiet for a second.”
The hero, wisely, went quiet.
The villain rubbed a hand over their face, then studied the hero for a moment. They took one of the hero’s hands into their own, studying the damage.
“Why did you do this to yourself,” the villain murmured.
“What do you mean, why,” the hero snapped. “It’s my job.”
“Your job is to save people,” the villain corrected. “Not destroy yourself.”
“I’m not destroying myself—“
“You are.”
“Shut up—“
“Hero.”
“I need to be better,” the hero snapped. Their voice rang out across the gym, echoing into the rafters, and they both froze. After a moment, the hero spoke again, voice soft. “I need to be better.”
They said it like they needed the villain to understand. The villain wondered who they were really saying it to—the villain, or themself.
“Better than who?”
“Everyone.” It was hushed, like a secret.
The villain watched them, waiting.
The hero took a shaky breath
“My whole thing is being the best. I have always been the best. That’s the only reason I matter. If I’m not strong enough, then I am nothing, so I need. to be. better.”
The hero had started crying, very quietly, like they were afraid to take up too much space.
The villain was not equipped to handle gifted kid burnout.
“There’s more to you than just being a good athlete,” the villain said hesitantly, and the hero shook their head.
“No. There isn’t.”
“Hero.”
“Can you give me back my electrical tape?” They hiccuped to contain a sob.
“No,” the villain said firmly, and then the hero really was sobbing.
“You don’t understand—“
The villain didn’t. Not really. They had never been the kind of talented that the hero was.
They wondered now if maybe that was a blessing.
“I don’t,” the villain agreed. “But I do understand that you’ve saved half the city, and you give everything you have to give, and you always do your best.”
“But I-“
“No.” The villain stopped them. “You are doing your best.” They tipped the hero’s chin up until they met the villain’s eyes. “And it is enough.”
The hero froze, eyes darting over the villain’s face. They wondered if anyone had ever said that to the hero, if whatever mentor they had was giving them anything other than orders to be stronger. Be better. Be more.
The villain had some new targets to take care of, it would seem.
For now, though, they had to take care of hero.
“We’re going to go wrap your hands,” they said softly. “And then we’re going to take care of your arms, and you’re going to take a nap.”
The hero nodded, watching them like they were some kind of good, selfless person.
“And if I ever catch you using electrical tape again, so help me, I will put you six feet under.”
That startled a laugh out of the hero, and they let the villain guide them to their feet.
“Fine.”
The villain turned to them. “Okay?”
Are you going to be alright?
The hero seemed to understand.
“Okay,” the hero agreed.
Yes.
And so, it was.
#writing#writing community#snippet#angst#heroes and villains#ficlet#writblr#hero/villain#hero whumpee#exhaustion#overworked#villain caretaker#whump#kind of#in case you’re wondering. yes you CAN do this to yourself. it’s completely possible#essentially what happens is if you do a motion (a pull-up) more than your body is capable#it gets mad. this is different from training till failure. this is to failure and then beyond#so while you started using the correct muscle groups you those muscles get tired and despite the tired you don’t stop#so then your body switches to muscles it SHOULDNT BE USINF and then you fuck up your elbows (in the case of pull-ups)#and then you can’t straighten your arms for a week bc the ligaments and tendons and all the little movement parts want to keep it curled in#I’m not a doctor#I’m just a gifted kid who was an athlete who got burnt out and destroyed her body lmao#this is possibly maybe based on true events that occurred#anyways. I’m not a doctor but you can use electrical tape on wounds. yes it sticks. yes it stays. it’s honestly very useful.#electrical tape > bandaids#do not do anything listed here it is BAD. do not blow out your muscles it hurts. properly clean ur injuries. I beg you.#don’t get injured at all#thank you to my friend who went “pull-up’ competition and then watched me create this angst#love u besties. drink water. go to sleep. summon demons. ❤️ self care
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tried making a biblically accurate fanfic of accountant reader x price to indulge myself ykyk but i got too invested in the technical details of accounting so i scrapped it
#the whole premise was how reader leaves early and comes home late bc of how overworked they are#and price has to fuck them to actually make them stop working — fucks them to make them tired enough theyd actually wanna sleep#but i kept writing about the reports and stuff and got so frustrated bc i remembered work so now shes (the fic idea) is just#a hopeful past 🥹#sun rambles
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Steve spending the night at Eddie’s because his parents are home and they’ve been arguing so he doesn’t really wanna be at home. Didn’t go to Robin because her parents might not let him stay the night and also Robin has work tomorrow and Steve doesn’t. The odd case of them not having shift together.
So he ends up with Eddie and in the morning he is having breakfast with Eddie and Wayne and they discuss their plans for the day. Eddie and Wayne have some plans for the day. You know, to spend some quality family time maybe? Or maybe they have just some errands to run, stuff to figure out because of all the shit that went down during spring break.. Whatever, they have plans for the day and Steve.. doesn’t want to intrude any more than he already is so he is not going with them. Even when they say he can come too.
And it’s summer time so the kids are busy with whatever the teens are busy with. And Steve loves them dearly and loves spending time with them but he tries to give them space and not smother them with his worrying so yeah he can’t spend the day with them either. They’ll come to him if they need him.. He could always go bother Robin at work but going to your work place on your free day because you have nothing better to do sounds a little sad.. So maybe he’ll just have to suck it up and go back home then.
But then Eddie offers that he could stay. You know he doesn’t have to leave just because Wayne and Eddie do. Like he could stay, it’s fine. They’ll be back by 6 or so and they could have dinner together then? And since Steve really really really doesn’t want to go home right now he accepts (after asking about thousand times if it’s really okay tho).
So soon he is left alone with a “Feel free to educate yourself with my music collection while we’re gone” and see you laters. Steve didn’t really have any plans for today and he kinda left in a hurry too so he didn’t bring much stuff with him but oh well he’ll figure something out.
He starts collecting the breakfast dishes and well he could wash them. He has the time and it would be just nice little gesture since the Munsons let him stay and all. And then it just makes sense to wipe the counters and the table after that. Like who would wash the dishes and then just leave crumbs all over the place? Oh. And I guess he just got some of those crumbs to the floor now. Well it’s just a quick little sweep. Could vacuum the whole place now too since he started. But first he needs to declutter a bit because goddamn Eddie why are your clothes and books just everywhere. Might as well do some laundry while he’s at it.
When Eddie and Wayne come back home around 6pm the place they’re in for a quite a shock. Not only is the place spotless but they’re greeted with the smell of food as well. “Oh you’re back! I’m making dinner, it’s just about done” Steve welcomes them enthusiastically but start to doubt himself a little after seeing the surprised faces. “I.. hope that’s okay”
Only then Steve realizes he may have got little carried away with his cleaning spree. Like maybe cleaning the windows was a tad bit too much.. Ugh he so hopes they’re not too weirded out.. Honestly he didn’t even realize he basically spent all day doing household chores that and it’s not even his own house. He glad the Munsons don’t comment on it too much tho, other than “you didn’t have to” and slightly awkward thank yous.
They start eating and now they drown Steve in compliments. (“Wow this is so good, what brand is this?” “Uhm.. it’s not a-.. I made it” “…Like from scratch?!” “Yeah..” “Holy shit dude this is seriously so fucking delicious” “Language. But he is right son, this is fucking delicious”)
At some point during dinner Wayne makes a comment about it starting to rain and Steve lets out a shocked gasp “my laundry!” and rushes out to collect it from outside where he hung it to dry. Wayne asks amusedly if Steve is a housewife or something, just ready to crack little jokes there but then spots the dopey smile on his nephew’s face, gaze still lingering in the doorway where Steve run off to. He smiles knowingly at Eddie when he finally looks back at him, now starting to blush and trying to stammer some sort of reply.
Steve comes back in and they finish dinner and hang out a bit together until Steve and Eddie go to Eddie’s room. Steve again apologizes because he got so carried away and hope he didn’t cross any lines. Eddie little amusedly asks if Steve really thinks they’d be mad at him for tidying up the place? Just helping them out a little so they can relax? Like in all seriousness, after all that shit show that happened during spring, Wayne could use a little break and just relax.
(“And you couldn’t?” “Well sure I could, but in this case he needs it more. If you haven’t noticed I’m not much of help in the cleaning department” “Oh yeah, I’ve noticed” “Hey!” “What? You asked!”)
Eddie then asks if Steve “educated himself” with the music. Steve tells to educate him himself. Eddie takes that as a challenge.
Steve spends the other night.
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#st steddie#wayne munson#anyone can be a baby girl but it takes a man to be a wife and all that#steve getting into cleaning zone might be me projecting but let’s not talk about that#he also feels like he needs to be useful to be welcome <3#I was supposed to write a quick funny headcanon but it became this monstrosity🤡#also waited too long to post this and now I'm anxious because this is so messy#Steve please come clean my brain too#silly thoughts#Also got tired of typing so I'm gonna just stop here good bye
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Genuinely intrigued by the potential of Peri and Irep's dynamic but only in a platonic way so I end up not vibing with the fandom's portrayal of it 😔😔😔
(No but listen LISTEN they were kinda-almost-friends when we last saw them in FOP, yeah? Now they're enemies, with both actively fighting each other, and Irep going so far as to try and kill Peri's parents. What happened? When? What influenced it? Did they ever become friends, or did it nosedive the moment the cameras turned off? What about Sammy? How do Irep's parents factor into this? Could it ever be fixed? There's just so much we haven't seen, and romance just feels like too easy a solution to me. Let their friendship be easy to break, fragile. Let them have to work to keep the connection. Fairies and Anti-Fairies are literally made to be opposites, so what happens when two genuinely and truly become friends?)
((and yeah I guess a lot of this could factor into a romantic angle but ALAS the fandom seems to be leaning heavily into the funny toxic yaoi angle 😔 I don't mind it! By all means, please have your very harmless fun! But it ain't my jam :P Perhaps I'll have to write a oneshot myself...))
(((see tags for more rambles i guess. whoops a bitch spoke too much in there as he always does)))
#i'm banned (self inflicted) from writing long fics until i finish this one i'm working on#and honestly I might keep the ban afterwards i am SO BAD at working on long fics. never finished one ever#oneshot guy thru and thru. but painfully. disastrously. i have so many long fic ideas...#anyway I like to think that they did become friends#and then not friends. and then friends again. and then not friends. and then-#and sometimes it was Peri's fault but a lot of the times it was Irep not feeling like he was allowed to be Peri's friend#and doing something to break it off#but Peri would keep trying to be his friend or Irep would realize that he still wants to be#but one day. Peri just gave up#he was tired of this back and forth. of never knowing if he was gonna be friends with this guy tomorrow or not#so he stopped trying. decided that if Irep wanted to be friends again HE would have to be the one to try and repair it#and also give him an apology maybe. not for breaking off the friendship again just for all the fucking murder attempts#(''if i die you die too dumbass-'')#unforch this happened to line up with Irep finally reconnecting with Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda again#and with them discouraging being friends with fairies + peri not trying to fix it this time... it. uh. kinda broke it off for good#('maybe not for good. maybe there's a chance. maybe Irep would-... ugh. it's not worth thinking about...')#Sammy's still friends with both of them though. It is Not Fun#gives Sammy my childhood experience of my two fighting friends wanting to sit with me at lunch but refusing to talk to each other#okay damn this post got long af. did not realize i had thought about this so much until i practically dropped a fic down here#anyway. actual tags? actual tags#fop#fairly oddparents#the fairly oddparents#peri fop#irep fop#peri fairywinkle-cosma#uh. do ppl search irep's full name... augh#irep anti-fairywinkle-anti-cosma#congrats elkniwirep your name fucking sucks. it's awful#a new wish
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Thinking of Eddie, who is terrified of the ocean, bt despite his fear, he still accompanies Billy to the beach, just never goes in. Over time, they get a little further, closer to the water, until he's standing right at the shore, water lapping at his ankles.
One day, when they're both chilling in their towels; Billy tanning, Eddie lathered in sunscreen and reading a book. And then Eddie just gets up, starts walking towards the water. Billy doesn't get a chance to ask him what he's doing and wants to go after him, but something is telling him to stay put.
Eddie walks up to the shore and then keeps walking until the water is up to his hips. He stands there, hands on the surface.
Billy takes the Polaroid camera that Eddie keeps in his bag at all times and takes a picture. To any outsider it's just another photo of the beach, but considering the fact that the first time they came out here Eddie didn't want to go in, and Billy, thinking he was just being stubborn picked him up and took him in anyway. Billy had never seen Eddie cry that hard and hasn't since.
But here Eddie is now, just standing there.
After a few minutes, Eddie comes running back. The second his ass meets the towel again, Billy asks if he's okay.
Eddie wordlessly takes Billy's hand in his and holds it to his chest, his heart pounding rapidly, but he's smiling so brightly.
"Why?"
Eddie shrugs and picks his book back up, as if it means nothing, as if he's done it many times before. "For you."
For him...
Later, Billy folds up the Polaroid and stuffs it in his wallet. He never leaves the house without it, looks at when he gets angry, starts to doubt, starts thinking that Eddie may just be better off without him. Eddie did that, faced might just be he greatest fear, not for himself but for him, for Billy.
#eddie munson#billy hargrove#mungrove#bat writes#eddie thalassophobia is something so personal to me#i dont have it but its peronal#fun fact: this one time i was talking to someone and mentioned this hc#at the same time i was playing mungrove in the sims#and sim eddie got the thalassophobia fear#it was pretty funny#think i got a screenshot somewhere#might share it#is this something? idk#im tired and cant stop thinking about it#kinda hate the ending but its whatever
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Luigi's Mansion 1 - 2 headcanon / Theory
I know the King Boo crown design is different for a reason comparing it through the series. They really didn't expect LM1 to do well for one thing or for King Boo to really stick around as far as him being a main antagonist for Luigi.
But I like making up headcanons anyways for things that have no explanation, so here I go!
I like to think that King Boo knew about the mine in Evershade Valley for some time. The red gem in his first crown could have easily come from there given the properties it seems to hold in general and how he knew exactly where to go in seemingly no time at all when he was set free from his portrait. I know we don't know exactly how long he's been freed, but I'd like to think the king isn't going to wait too long to get revenge on Luigi, let alone the kingdom he helps protect and comes from.
But as much as I do like to joke he has anger issues, the guy can wait to act out a plan so. Again. who knows. Lol
All and all, he needs a gem of some sort to empower his magic. To me, it feels like that gem is meant to act like a wizard's wand or something. He can still use powers without it, but with it, they are amplified. As for his replacement gem, could be his boos located a purple gem first or maybe King Boo stole some magic gem item from the person who foolishly freed him from his portrait in LM2.
Could also be how the person even managed to free King Boo to begin with as that gem and the tactics Gadd has can undo painting prison (if I am going to pull this whole theory away from my own Gijinka version). Maybe the person who freed him once worked at the mine and had a special souvenir. Who knows. The moment he finds a replacement gem, he decides to get to work on the thought of empowering his boo army with the power these gems seem to house.
The only problem he seems to have though is he cares too much for his boos to put them at risk, so he decides then to break the Dark Moon and get the Evershade Valley ghosts on his side. Using mind controlling tactics, he is able to have them work for him in stopping anybody who would oppose him but also experimenting on them with the gems found in the mine.
Better to put a bunch of ghosts you don't care about at risk than your own kind feels very on par with him. It also sounded and looked like those ghosts were in agony, so I doubt he'd want his boos to be forever crippled in pain just for the sake of revenge and building the strength of his army. Thus, he no doubt sees these Evershade ghosts as fodder for the most part. Very indifferent what becomes of them and far more upset when his own falls.
Because I don't care what anybody says. Him saying 'all those ghosts—useless!' in LM3 sounded more like he was referring to Hellen and her employees. Not his boos haunting the mansion (even if they felt like they were a last minute add-on to remind you they're in the game helping their ruler). Rarely do I ever hear him calling his boos as ghosts anyways. He calls them boos more often than not.
#i was gonna write this quick b/c it was storming#and i was tired#but then i got called for soup and it stopped storming so...#i don't have an excuse anymore if it reads wonk PEFT#anyways. i am just rambling#king boo#luigi's mansion#luigi's mansion 2#luigi's mansion 3#headcanons#smb#mario#nintendo#mod headcanons#king boo headcanons
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I read your name as Astropop and got jumpscare cause that's a literal soda brand in my OC world /vpos
Anyways you want requests I give you requests
Throws remote at you (idk if u have a policy anywhere)
yayy!! i actually have a star themed soda oc in my head (never drew for some reason) which is actually (partly) where the name sstarpop comes from!! i also made a star lollipop oc named starpop, and then realized that like 5 other people had that so i scrapped them.
anyways, here’s your remote!! (i miss her)
this took 2 hours btw!! reblogs EXTREMELY appreciated <3
#more info on the lollipop starpop#she was actually supposed to be the host of the object show i was writing but i got tired of her#then like 2 months later i saw a similar oc on pinterest and also saw booknote had a similar oc so i stopped drawing her#bfdi#bfb#tpot#battle for dream island#battle for bfb#battle for bfdi#the power of two#jacknjellify#gijinka#object show fanart#object show art#object show#object shows#object show community#object shows community#osc
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Part of why I hate this fandom's take on Autobots vs Decepticons is ppl (mainly 'con fans honestly) who can't have any nuance of the situation whatsoever and love to write plots like "oh the humans are racist and abusive towards Cybertronians so this is how Megatron is right" no actually I don't think colonialism/imperialism and racism are justified so long as you can point the finger and say "they were the aggressors first" or "their hands are no cleaner than ours bc their society sucks too" sorry. Please come up with better sociopolitical narratives in your war story.
#squiggposting#i'm too tired to like actually care about this any more#and ppl's fandom takes don't necessarily represent their IRL views#but i'm just like. oh so i see that you want to write mature stories with politics and dealing with bigotry. that's cool!#now do it in a way that actually refutes bigotry and makes some sort of attempt at resolution#bc 'oh humans are just as bad and evil so it's fine if we colonize them' isn't the pro-con take ppl think it is lkdsfjlsdkfs#honestly this is what john barber got right in his story even tho the politics in his became overbearing#at least he's like the one dude who rightfullly pointed out 'uhhh organics have history with cybertronians that makes them very justified#'in not trusting them'#but my mistake is expecting the average 'con fan to disengage from the 'revolution' part to talk about the racism and imperialism lmao#if ppl weren't cowards they would be able to write characters as problematic and bigots and imperialists#but still show their humanity and point out how the cycle of retribution needs to end at some point#and how killing everyone who ever did anything bad (esp for a race as long lived as theirs) isnt a sustainable model of society#that's my PROBLEM man like stop being COWARDS acknowledge that your heroes can be shitty ppl#instead of framing things as good guys vs bad guys and then framing absolution as being only for the good guys#what if good and bad didn't exist and we were all shitty in some way and none of us inherently deserve forgiveness. what then#what if you wrote a story where you had to deal with the reality of rehabilitating ppl who have genuinely done horrible things#what if you wanted to rehabilitate society but realized the majority of ppl in it are monsters. what then?#do you only extend forgiveness and peace to the ppl who got thru with no moral compromises?#do you want to kick the majority/almost all of your race to the curb and give them no mercy/second chances?#what if ppl wrote stories where sociopolitical issues had no good/bad guys and no easy solutions#what if ppl had the courage and ethical fortitude to say 'everyone here sucks actually'#anyways sorry for the rant
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Im just gonna have to accept that s2 wasnt good overall and that the fandom unfortunately is just bad. Its not the first time ive had to accept this about a piece of media i loved but this one does hurt more fsr.
Ill take the caitlyn and vi scenes, and the vi and jinx scenes, and ill just try to be happy with that. As much as it sucks that those relationships, the ones the series was formed around, were given such little time and a completely lackluster ending, ill just have to accept that it is what it is. I can imagine my own little au where those relationships stayed relevant in s2 and they actually got time and closure.
#arcane#arcane critical#genuinely tired of trying to hard to excuse bad writing#the caitvi scenes we got were good like 80% of the time#but it does suck that they got such little actual screentime.#and yeah fuck the new writers for giving lesbophobes the bait they wanted#there was one way to destroy such a successful and recognized lesbian relationship and that was it#and sure they technically got a happy ending i guess? but what does that matter when its so last minute that it basically meant nothing#and the fandom hates it anyways now so. there goes that#vent#i guess#like as a lesbian it sucks so bad to come so close to getting something good finally. and then it all burns#i know progress is slow and never actually completes itself#but it doesnt stop hurting#the not so subtle reminder that despite everything#you arent accepted. not now#ugh#i expected s2 to break my heart because the story was sad#not because the writing was so abysmal that it physically hurt
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it is a lie.
there is the promise, of course, every single time. that this time it will help, this time you'll be able to quit for good after just - once - more -
and then you look up and realise it's 1am and your hands are covered with blood. you've used up all the tissues and it's still bleeding. of course you grab something and stanch it, it's not going to kill you, but it's sure as hell going to make living unfun.
it's a lie. you can be clinical about it - you can measure depth and size and analyse if this needs medical attention or not. and then once you're absolutely sure it could do with it (curse the moment you figured out the technique that allows you to go deeper), you can ignore it and pretend it's fine.
it's not fine, of course. but even now, there's pain. of course there's pain. it's gaping, you idiot, and if you went to the emergency department they'd suture it just like they would have the previous one you ignored that got infected, but improved before you absolutely had to seek medical attention. they are not going to heal quickly; they're going to look pretty bad even if they manage to heal before you've got to wear short sleeves for placement. never mind the fact that summer's coming on. search up summer cardigans and hope they're not too expensive.
but there's pain. why would you do it? why would you keep chasing the high you will not get from this? why are you still thinking, if I just go fully to the muscle layer now, this will fix everything? it won't. you fool. is it muscle pain you're feeling right now, or nerve? how would you know?
cry about it, you bitch. you did it to yourself. you know, what you really want is someone to hug you real good, someone who knows what you've done and why you did it. but last time you showed someone it made you go deeper because what you showed them wasn't enough. you better hope they don't ask to see how that one's healing, because you can't show them the healing process without showing this newest one they don't know you've got. they said they weren't happy with you keeping the implement you used last time. you said it was a once-off, a mad impulse born of a specific, high stress trigger. you might even have believed it.
why would you do it? why are you going so deep, deep enough that after every action to make it deeper, you do all the basic checks to make sure you haven't permanently damaged something? don't mess around with this. your hands are your livelihood. if you hit a nerve, there ain't no coming back from that. you know what you're doing.
arms are dangerous. surely you knew that was almost the exact place someone you knew went, had to get fourteen stitches emergently because they hit something real bad. if you're tired, get sleep. if you're tired of life, get help. don't destroy yourself like this.
it is a lie. it will not make you feel better. it will simply add to your problems. why don't you care? the promise of relief is a lie. if you're sad about it, if you're crying, then do something. tell someone. reach out, and someone will reach back to you. they want to help. let them help. people want to love you; let them love you.
#EDIT i would like to add. if you know any irl friends of mine please DO NOT MENTION ANY OF THIS#i don't know why i wrote this in the second person it just sort of. appeared#tw sh#personal#puddleglum hours#i'm safe etc etc#do not call the cops on me#and yes. the moment when you do something and feel pain along the entire muscle#which i do not understand because it wasn't That deep. like i've never actually got muscle-deep#but i heeded the warning and Stopped but. brain is still going 'if you go Deeper it will Magically Feel Better'#(i am not in fact going to go deeper dw)#in lighter news. i am writing vaniah again. shall be back to tumblr presently#and also. there will at least at this point only be two (2) noticeable scars on my arm so far. i haven't gone ham#i am so tired i want a hug#sorry for this post i just. yeah
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made a timeline for monk tv for the folks cause it makes no sense sometimes.
[more in the tags]
[update: stottlemeyer's timeline found here]
#tried my best#math really churned itself out here#fic writing resources ahoy#feel free to use <3#monk 2002#monk 2002 timeline#this only counts adrian's age#i got tired of plotting a fic and going “errr wait when does this happen and does this thing im mentioning fit with this period of time???”#esp now that im going crazy about pre-series monk ideas#monk wiki says stottlemeyer is 17 YEARS OLDER THAN MONK#im just??? wot???#how can... that makes no sense. how can stottlemeyer be 81 and the head of security for some rich ass guy in mr. monk's last case? it dont#add up at all. ive always headcanoned that stottlemeyer is like 6-9 years older than monk#what were the writers thinking these ages are wacky#trudy is 4 years younger than monk too.#if we follow how she died when she was 34#and theyd been married for 7 years... that makes her 27 but like. they met in uni. what age were they then???#monk def had to be 23-24 when he met trudy. which makes her 20 :“)#its whack man. making sense of this makes my head hurt#anyway im here to stop all that suffering#here we go#A BETTER TIMELINE#ill update with stottlemeyer's own age timeline soon :>
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okay hear me out remus and sirius at IKEA pretending every room is their house and pretend making food it’d be so chaotic
SO TRUEEEEE SO TRUE
omfg imagine
they go in the first time to grab a kitchen table after they move apartments bc the one sirius found on the side of the road two years ago finally broke during the move across the city. so their apartment is still full of boxes and they venture out early one morning and before they go in remus puts his hands on sirius’ shoulders and makes him look at him and he goes “we are here for ONE THING. we are here for a TABLE. nothing else.” and he makes sirius audibly confirm that yes, they are there for only a table and they’re going to get in and get out and that’s it, no dilly dallying. because he’s been to an ikea before but sirius hasn’t and he knows what’s about to happen so he assigns himself as their supervisor for the trip
but then six hours later they’re calling an uber XL to the front of the ikea and they’re standing there with a box that supposedly contains their new table and another one that contains a bookshelf and four of those big blue tarp ikea bags and two lamps and they’re both just standing there on the curb like ‘🧍……..,what the hell just happened’
so they set up their new place over the next few months and they make it all cozy and warm and sirius’ records are all over the living room and remus’ books have migrated from his new bookshelf in their bedroom and they’re taking over every corner of the place, like they’re practically sentient.
so one random weeknight they’re having takeout on the couch and sirius is looking around like 🧐 and he goes ‘u know…..,you could use another bookshelf.’ and remus is all ‘lmfao yeah, i know’ and sirius is like ‘………we could…..we could go to ikea………’ and remus goes ‘😐………………yes’
so then the next saturday they’re back and they’re having another pep talk outside and they’re both going ‘we’re here for a bookshelf we’re here for a bookshelf we’re here for a bookshelf’ and people are passing them and staring at them bc they’re chanting it louder and louder like they’re casting a fucking spell on the place
and they get inside and they do really really good for a while and they’ve almost made it to the storage section where they found remus’ first bookshelf last time when they stumble upon all these showrooms??? and they both stop in their tracks and they’re going 😧😦😲🤯😮😯 and then all hell breaks loose
they leave that time with four more tarp ikea bags of random shit, like a planter shaped like a marble statue even though they don’t have any plants, and a set of stainless steel mixing bowls even though they have absolutely no need for fucking mixing bowls, and a toothbrush holder (because the other week remus opened the drawer in their bathroom to see their toothbrushes touching and he had a meltdown about germs while sirius loudly explained that they very regularly have their mouths on every part of each other’s body) and two more bookshelves for remus and a vinyl organizer for sirius and a new little stand for his record player that’ll go nice next to the window in the living room
so they’re good on furniture for a while but now they go to ikea for entertainment purposes because the showroomssssssss
they’ll brainstorm a new backstory every time they go—sometimes they’re newlyweds looking to furnish their first home just outside the city, other times they’re roommates with extreme levels of sexual tension that haven’t admitted they’re in love with each other yet, and a couple of times they’ve roleplayed as a very picky and argumentative elderly couple that can’t agree on curtains
one saturday afternoon they’re in this living room setup with all these floor-to-ceiling dark gray glass cabinets and a sleek steel electric fireplace and a bunch of orange-tinted lamps. and sirius is lounging in the gray tweed chair in the corner and remus is opening the cabinets and testing the soft-shut hinges, and sirius goes ‘i don’t think your brother will like the couch.’ and remus doesn’t have a brother but he sighs all big and goes ‘it doesn’t matter if my brother likes the couch, sirius, it’s our couch.’ and sirius is all ‘yeah but i don’t want to hear all his yapping about structure and lumbar support and shit when they come for christmas—‘ and remus drags a hand down his face and he’s all ‘baby, can you at least pretend that you don’t hate him for two seconds while we get a fucking couch—“ and sirius stands up and huffs and stomps his foot and goes ‘it was never about the couch!!!! this is about you taking my side for once!!!!!’ and everyone in the vicinity is eavesdropping because this is some juicy relationship drama to be happening in the home section of this ikea right now
and another time they’re in this bedroom setup with a big light birch wood wardrobe covering the entire wall. and it lights up when you open the doors and there’s shelves for shoes and drawers and a fucking jewelry drawer?? in it and sirius is like ‘you need this in your room, remus.’ and remus goes ‘i do not. this would not even come close to fitting in my room,’ and sirius is all ‘it absolutely would, i know exactly how big your room is and this would fit great on the wall across from the window, you need more shit in there anyway, it’s sad and empty.’ and remus leans against the wardrobe door next to the one sirius has open and he’s all ‘how do you know what fits in my room, huh?’ and sirius blushes a bit and he backtracks and he’s all ‘no i mean i just think it would fit. like i think it would look good. our rooms are close to the same size and and and—‘ and remus is crossing his arms and getting up in his space going all ‘it is kind of empty, huh? maybe you should do something about that?’ and sirius is all ‘😳 like what….?’ and remus shrugs and goes ‘maybe i should just let you do it. put shit on the walls and all that. you know, make it nice.’ and sirius is shutting the doors and crossing his own arms and leaning against the wood to size him up and he goes ‘you want me to make your room nice for you?’ and remus goes ‘mhm yes yeah i do,’ and sirius is all ‘why don’t i just put a giant picture of me on your wall, that’d spruce the place up, right?’ and remus is biting his lip and going ‘mmmm that might not work actually, what if i bring someone home? what would they think?’ and sirius laughs really loud and rolls his eyes and goes ‘yeah rightttt you haven’t pulled anyone in months, remus—’ and then remus is crowding him up against the door and going ‘keeping tabs on me, huh?’ and then they’re getting chastised by security for making out in the fake ikea shower attached to the bedroom with the giant wardrobe
and one friday night when they don’t feel like going out they wander around the home section and fight about curtains. like sirius is all ‘i can’t watch my shows in the evening with the sun coming through that damn window remus, we need curtains.’ and remus is all ‘well fucking excuse me for enjoying some natural light every once in a while’ and they bicker about what color to choose for the rod because the beige matches the walls and will blend in nicely but the black matches the legs on their dining table chairs and eventually remus goes ‘holy fuck sirius just get the beige jesus christ it never ends—‘ and sirius scoffs and goes ‘all you do is complain, it’s like listening to a toddler—‘ and then they’re going home with and getting wine drunk on this pinot noir remus bought the other week and trying to hang up the pretty new sheers in the living room and sirius nearly cracks his skull open and has to be caught out of mid-air by a very tipsy and clumsy remus while trying to hang them up standing on a chair and they’re both laughing so hard they’re crying
sometimes they spend the whole trip in the fake kitchens pretending they’re at their vacation home in the south of france where sirius spent summers as a kid and sirius will bumble about the kitchen and send remus to the attached living room to finally fix that squeaky hinge on the tv stand. and they actually do quite a lot of shopping in the kitchens so they have to be careful about spending too much time in there, because sirius loves all the little gadgets and spice racks and electric can openers and display jars because ever since they got those mixing bowls he’s been dabbling in baking and their kitchen has gotten more action in the last six months than it probably ever has but remus always makes sure to stop by the grocery store and grab another bag of flour when sirius texts and asks for one, even when he’s had an annoying day and just wants to go home, because sirius likes to keep his hands busy and remus loves coming home and finding him making a giant sticky mess on the counters
they’re in this green kitchen one day and it has a big huge rack above the island for pots and pans to hang off of. and sirius breaks character and goes all starry eyed and remus immediately knows where this is going when he turns to him with big eyes and goes ‘look at it!!! 😲😲’ and remus is like ‘it is very cool but it’s like six hundred fucking—‘ and sirius is moving around the room looking at it from all angles like ‘oh but imagine how great it would look, we could put your stainless steel pans up there, they’d look so nice!!!’ and then remus is going to talk him down and immediately almost cracking his head on the corner of the giant rack. and he goes ‘look, see, i’m too tall for it, i’d break my head open the first week we had it in there—‘ and then sirius is pouting, shuffling up close and wrapping his arms around remus’ middle and looking up at him with his chin on his sternum and he’s the living embodiment of 🥺🥺🥺
so remus spends the next weekend supervising while sirius installs anchors in their ceiling and hangs the rack above the tiny island in their kitchen because he’s a saint and he’s too in love for his own good
#u ask tortoise answers#anon#IKEA RANT#tortoise writes a novel ab an ask for no reason#last month i was staying in hammersmith for a week and we stopped at the ikea every night in the way home#just browsed around#i devoured every inch of that ikea#‘tortoise we want to go home we’re tired please’#‘hang on u guys have got to see this fuckin cabinet i found’#almost bought a couch & then remembered i don’t live in london#the closest ikea to me is fuckin d*llas god help me#day trip to d*llas just to wander around ikea
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just got reminded of why i don't go on my dashboard/the main fandom tags anymore
half the time i go in like 'oh boy i can't wait to see what's going on with the blorbos!!' and most of the time i leave growling and foaming at the mouth like a rabid animal
#not literally foaming at the mouth but y'know what i mean#'curate your online experience' doesn't mean shit when blocked users still appear on everyone else's blogs and the horrors are neverending#fuck i've even made posts where people come to me just to deliver a bad time straight to my doorstep#'oh i love ford he's so silly look at these neurodivergent-coded traits of his' 'yeah he's dense as shit' i don't like you#i got invited to a server because of my shitty writing and never went back because everyone immediately just talked shit about ford#am i really supposed to want to interact with the fandom? when so many of the folks within it are so unpleasant to be around?#this turned into a rant but i'm tired and want to stop existing so that's just what you're getting today
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Moooom (tumblr), the spam bots are changing their naming conventions again
#tumblr sure is a website#bots#I’m so tired fending them off with sticks and squinting suspiciously at user names#they were all the same name pattern for a while but now they’ve shaken it up a little#also new users stop using the same naming conventions as the bots I’m gonna whack you with a broom by mistake by god#and make some posts with tags or something *cries*#wordwordword and namenamenumber now I’ve seen at least several others that break the norm#not writing#check your notes 😔#I have too many to really look back through but I’ve got the recent ones cleaned out
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