twpromptsillneverwrite

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Stiles: I want you to know that I forgive you.

Scott: I didn't apologize.

Stiles: Well, one of us needed to be the bigger man and I wasn't going to let it be you.

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Derek: Is your dad mad at me?

Stiles: Yeah, it was my fault. He asked me to invite you over for dinner.

Derek: I don't see anything wrong with that.

Stiles: Then he asked me what you liked eating, and I said "Deez nuts"

Derek: What did I do to deserve you?

Stiles: Aww! You're so cute.

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Scott: Wow! Derek's muscles are huge. Stiles, come feel his biceps.

Derek: I did not agree to this.

Stiles: You're right, I can feel it's big.

Derek: Take your hand off my crotch.

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Stiles (seductively): Mr. Hale, is there anything I can do for you?

Derek: Are we doing a secretary/boss roleplay?

Stiles: Just play along!

Derek: I would, but why are you wearing high heels?

Stiles: They don't sell sexy secretary outfits for men...

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Stiles: Why did you stop?

Derek: You said "stop!"

Stiles: No, when I say "stop" I mean harder.

Stiles: If I wanted you to stop I'd have said "pineapple".

Derek: Is that your safe word?

Stiles: Wouldn't you stop what you were doing if I suddenly yelled "pineapple"?

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Derek: I need your help.

Stiles: Oh! Is it a sex thing?

Derek: No.

Stiles: Can it be a sex thing?

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Stiles: What a man! Such a manly man, the manliest man to ever man in this man's man's world.

Scott:...

Stiles: Do you think he'll rawdog me?

Scott: Goddammit, Stiles! Can we go just one meal without you wanting Derek's dick?

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Allison: The doctor asked me to fill this form, I already did most of it but I wanted to check some with you. What do I put for "do you exercise"?

Stiles: Does riding werewolf dick count as cardio?

Allison: It would if running for your life counts too.

Stiles: Just write no.

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Stiles: What's wrong with Scott? He's acting weird.

Lydia: I'd like to know what normalcy means to you.

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Stiles: Ouch! I scraped my knee!

Derek (full of injuries and bleeding everywhere): Everyone, retreat! We have to take Stiles to a safe place.

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Stiles: Are you okay?

Derek: Why you ask?

Stiles: You just punched a hole into a wall. Being honest, seeing you put your fist into a hole would be hot in other context, but right now is worrisome.

Derek: Do you ever think before speaking?

Stiles: Almost exclusively never.

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Scott: It's okay, you don't have to cry.

Stiles: I'm not crying.

Scott: I was talking to myself.

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Stiles: Let's go, Derek! Work that sweet ass!

Derek (struggling against a monster): Would you care to shut it?

Stiles: I'm giving you moral support!

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Derek: Are you sure? I can run to the pharmacy and be back in a minute.

Stiles: Nah! What's the worst that can happen? It's not like you can get me pregnant.

*15 years and 9 months later*

Stiles: And that's the story of how you were born.

Eli: What the fuck, dad?

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Allison: I can't believe Scott, some times he can act so stupid.

Lydia: You think? Welcome to the stupid boyfriend club.

Isaac: Is it a real club? Can I join it? Do I have to prove my boyfriend is stupid?

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Stiles: Top three best love confessions.

Derek: I just asked you if you wanted pizza for dinner.

Stiles: Of course I'll marry you, Derek.

[twpromptsillneverwrite]

Stiles: I didn't know people shipped us.

Derek: What people?

Stiles: You know, smart people.

Derek: Who?

Stiles: Mostly me...