#but I feel more not good than usual loool

[cursivebloodlines]

I am home but at what costs!!! :) my cough is very not good. My chest is not good either. I refuse to get checked because every time I think I have a chest infection they say it’s not, that it’s viral so I’m not wasting my breath!!! My head hurts and idk if that’s bc of the coughing or adjusting to my glasses so once again idk if anything will get done but I’ll try my best 😭😭

[eliounora]

wine tasting gets interesting

[kislnd]

silent treatment - george clarke~

synopsis: george leaves y/n wondering what their relationship is, a brief encounter between them gives him the chance to clarify.

notes: noticing i clearly love a cheeky fwb plot 😭 i promise i have other plots stored in the drafts (also the fact this was not the george fic i was talking about in my previous post loool expect that one eventually)

requests are also open!

warnings: slightly mature & angsty, mentions of alcohol

word count: ~2.9k

masterlist

y/n found herself mindlessly checking her notifications yet again. as expected, there was nothing new. stop it, pull yourself together, she mentally cursed herself - never in a million years did she think a man could have this effect on her. usually she was fairly good at moving on, independence had always been her thing, but this time it was definitely different and she didn't know why. quite frankly it was scary, although she did feel like this unexplored territory was equally exciting as it was terrifying. over the past week y/n had been unable to shake him from her mind, flashes of their time spent together plague her mind - the way his hands felt on her body, the look in his eyes before he kissed her, the way he tasted. memories like those couldn't simply go away, nor did she really want them to.

"you're just being pathetic now," she said aloud to herself, "and now you're talking to yourself like a crazy person." y/n knew she needed to get out and get her mind off him, which once again, she did think was a little pathetic - it's not like she was going through a break up or anything nearly as painful as she was making it out to be. she shook away her thoughts and pulled out her phone, this time ignoring all of her notifications, and any thoughts of george, and opened a group chat of her closest girlfriends.

is anyone down to come out for drinks tonight?

she hit send on the message and waited, realistically she knew her friends were always raring to come out so their replies wouldn't be anything she didn't already know. more often than not they were the ones to drag y/n out for some fresh air. sure enough after a few minutes most of them had replied with a series of excited agreements.

the evening came around quickly. luckily y/n had already raided her entire wardrobe earlier in the day in a bid to distract herself, so her outfit was ready along with the right shoes to match. she had even gone as far as scouring pinterest for a few makeup looks that would compliment the colours of her outfit.

//

living near the centre of london had both its pros and cons but right now, y/n was just thankful that her walk to the chosen bar was only very short. as she stood in front of the establishment nerves crept up inside her. what even was there to be nervous about? it was just another evening out with her friends, people she had known forever. moreover, she had been to this exact bar several times, hell she could probably even name the regulars at this point. "sorry, excuse me," a low voice came from behind her, causing her to jump to the side. "sorry," she mumbled, glancing at the man who appeared to be carrying far more cocktails than his hands could comfortably allow. the night was getting cooler now and she anticipated her friends were probably waiting for her inside and had been for some time, either that or they were watching the whole ordeal from the window and would laugh at her later. you'll feel better once you get inside, y/n told herself and with that, she turned and walked briskly to the entrance.

her friends were not hard to find, despite not even being drunk yet they managed to be some of the loudest people in the room. y/n smiled at the sounds of their chattering and squeezed through the hoards of people swarming the bar to reach their table and sat down with them. for the first time in a week, she finally felt at ease, like she could fully loosen up with no worries.

//

"can you get me another vodka coke please?" y/n's friend pleaded for the third time, drawing out the 'e'. "god you do whinge," y/n rolled her eyes playfully, "but i will, only if you promise to shut up." the group laughed, a little too hard - at that moment y/n could confirm she was the most sober there. however, it was out of self preservation. she knew in the morning everything would come flooding back to her and she didn't fancy wallowing in her own pity with a headache. the bar was quite empty, y/n thought, especially in comparison to how it had been earlier, but that was definitely because everyone else was too drunk to not be up dancing. she was honestly grateful there was a clear path towards a bartender who didn't appear to be serving anyone.

"hi, could i get a vodka coke please?" she asked the bartender, who she could now see was mopping up a puddle of what was probably various alcohols. "sure, just give me one sec." the bartender smiled and continued soaking the puddle up. "no problem," y/n shot him a warm smile and leant against the bar, watching intently. judging by the sheer volume of liquid she didn't anticipate 'one sec' would be anything remotely close to one second.

"excuse me mate," y/n was ripped from her thoughts by an uncomfortably familiar voice, one that she simultaneously craved hearing and never wanted to hear again. she snapped her head around to the opposite end of the bar, where she spotted him. george was stood, trying to get the attention of another bartender who was busy shelving some bottles. she wasn't sure if this was some kind of sick joke, the one person she was trying to get away from had somehow magically appeared in front of her. if there was a god, she was sure he was punishing her. naturally, her bartender was still busy with the puddle - a puddle that was barely even visible now. why he couldn't leave the droplets for a moment and serve her, y/n didn't understand. she couldn't wait to get away from the bar and he wouldn't be able to conjure the drink up in a split second. to be honest, she wasn't even sure she cared to return to her table with the drink.

y/n couldn't help but steal another glance at george. he was still just as attractive, if not more attractive than she remembered. the way his biceps flexed as he rested his arms on the edge of the bar, his perfect smile as he thanked the bartender for the drink... y/n knew she should tear her eyes away from him but she just couldn't do it. she was weak and not even sorry about it.

her eyes widened as she realised not only was george staring dead at her, he was also drawing closer to her. everything inside her was telling her to run away, run away from this man who didn't even have the decency to reply to her messages, run away from this man who gave her such mixed signals she didn't even know if he loved or hated her. yet her feet seemed unable to budge, the alarm bells ringing in her head were not enough to sway her heart.

"if your mouth opens any wider, you'll dislocate your jaw," george chuckles, placing his drink down at the bar. "that's hilarious," y/n says in the flattest, most sarcastic tone she could manage. "what?" george quirks an eyebrow at her in genuine confusion, standing up and moving closer to her. "i said-" y/n began but abruptly stopped as george placed his hands on her hips and guided her towards the door.

"what are you doing?" y/n swore her heart stopped, how could the same man that had been ghosting her be so comfortable with touching her like that? did he not feel any shame? in a matter of moments, a rush of cold air washed over y/n as george led her out of the threshold of the bar, and it wasn't unpleasant. "the music was too loud, i couldn't hear anything you were saying," he said, walking over to some seating and gesturing for her to join him. y/n followed him and took a seat opposite him but stayed silent, she wasn't sure she wanted to speak to him, nor did she even know what to say.

"what brings you to the bar?" george asks, trying to alleviate some of the awkwardness. he genuinely did want to talk to y/n but wasn't sure how or what to say to her, so settling on a generic question like that seemed to be his best bet. "avoiding you actually," y/n almost laughs at the situation, she was also very aware that inside the bar there would be a confused bartender likely with a vodka coke ready for absolutely no one to receive, "but it seems you just appear and disappear as you please." now it was george that stayed silent for a moment, "i deserved that."

"too right, now if you'll excuse me, i have a drink waiting for me inside," y/n stands up to leave, she was not in the mood for this conversation. if george could easily ignore her for days on end then her leaving one conversation for another day would be more than reasonable. "wait y/n-" george stands up quickly and grabs her arm, "can you please hear me out?" genuine hurt could be heard in his voice, for a second y/n thought about just jumping into his arms and telling him she forgave him. that thought was only fleeting though, she decided to retain her dignity and just listen to what he had to say instead. this is for me, not him, she affirmed in her mind before turning back towards him, "fine."

"this might sound really stupid," george starts, "but it's true and i can't believe i am even about to say it." y/n nods hesitantly, she wasn't sure how he could make himself seem any more stupid. "i guess i'm not used to feeling this way, like," he pauses, "properly in love." y/n was dumbfounded, she opened her mouth to speak but no words would dare come out. "i got scared and tried to hide. and in the process hurt you," george looks at her with sad eyes, pleading her to say something. "what you're saying is that you couldn't reply because you love me? like love love me?" y/n could no longer hide her shock, in fact she was beginning to question if this was even actually happening. "i guess so?" george scratches the back of his neck nervously, "look, i'm sorry. i didn't intend to ghost you, i just didn't want to scare you by coming off too strong." he moves closer and tucks a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, "you're the first person i have been fully serious about." silence hung over them, y/n really did think for a second that she was going to pass out.

"i don't know if you are believing me," george sighs, defeated. "please say something." y/n tried to find her words, too much had just happened and she needed a moment to process it. the truth is she did believe him, she knew deep down all along that he was a good guy. "prove it." y/n says with a grin, "prove that you're as serious as you say you are." george raises an eyebrow at her sudden change of tone, "are you sure you can handle it?" a cocky smile forming on his face. "absolutely," y/n giggles, "do your worst."

without wasting another moment, george presses his lips to hers harshly. the kiss was hungry and desperate, like he had waited entirely too long to taste her again and he needed it. his tongue slips into her mouth, savouring every inch of it. this kiss was different, before they had been lustful, open mouthed, sloppy kisses - the kind that happened in the heat of the moment - but this kiss was so slow and so sensual and y/n could feel george pouring so much love into it that she felt it would be impossible to break apart from him.

george pulls away first to catch his breath. "is that enough proof?" he smirks, looking at her with blown out pupils, slightly swollen lips and pink dusting his cheeks. "i'm not sure, i might need a second one to confirm," y/n smiles cheekily, george rolls his eyes but bends down to lightly peck her on the lips. "there is more where that came from by the way," he laughs, "this just isn't the ideal setting."

"hopefully we can do this again sometime," she wiggles her eyebrows at him and laughs, "but we should really get inside, it's freezing," y/n ushers him back towards the entrance, "and i was supposed be back at my table with my friend's drink probably like half an hour ago." george's eyes widened, "oh god. she'll think you died en route or something!" truthfully, y/n was hardly worried about that, she knew her friends could be dramatic when they were drunk but she strongly doubted they were about to file a missing persons report or anything of the sort. "i'll just act naturally don't worry." she grins, "i'm good at that."

"yeah sure, really natural of you to spend an excessive amount of time staring at me from across the bar and then freeze up the second i moved towards you." george returns the grin, "seriously, i could literally feel your eyes boring into my skull."

"so dramatic, i did not stare that hard!" y/n gave him a light slap on the arm, she was in fact completely aware that that was exactly what happened, but she definitely didn't realise she had been that obvious. "whatever you say sweetheart," george opens the door for her and they step inside. y/n glances at the bar, the bartender hadn't made her drink but she hadn't expected him to, after all she had disappeared for a while. "stay right here, i'm going to order the drink again and go back to my friends for a bit." george simply nodded and took a seat at the bar once more, y/n opted to ask the other bartender for the drink this time (the one george had been talking to) - she thought it might be too awkward to ask the original one again.

drink in hand, she made her way back to their table, much more easily than when she first arrived. most people had begun to go outside to cool off so it wasn't nearly as packed in the booths where they were situated. "there you go." y/n pushed the drink towards the girl who had asked for it. "did you get lost on the way?" her friend giggles, slightly slurring her words. i'm sure she had a steady flow of drinks coming her way even without the one i ordered, y/n sighs, how was she going to explain this? it would've been even harder to explain her absence had she spent extra time outside mulling over what excuse to tell them but the lack of forethought also left her in a sticky situation. "you don't need to answer!" another of her friends grins almost evilly, "we can tell exactly what happened." y/n could feel her cheeks heating up, "what do you mean?" she answered, admittedly in a shakier voice than she was hoping for. without another word, the girl thrust her phone up at y/n's face with the camera open. "see?" she folded her arms and sat back in satisfaction.

"oh." y/n found that was the only word she was capable of uttering in that moment. her kiss with george had managed to smear her lip gloss and some of her lipstick around her lips in such a drastic way that it was painfully obvious what they had been doing. "for god's sake!" y/n quickly returned the phone and started in the direction of the bar where george, she assumed, would still be waiting for her.

"you didn't think to tell me about this?!" she hissed, gesturing broadly to her lips. george could only laugh, it had been only dimly lit outside of the bar so he wouldn't have been able to tell and y/n had taken off so abruptly with the drink that he hadn't even had a chance to fit a word in. "at least everyone knows now." george shrugs and gently holding her face and pressing the pad of his thumb over her lips, gently wiping away excess lip gloss (not much could be done about the coloured streaks of lipstick, at least not without a makeup wipe). y/n rolls her eyes, it was impossible to stay mad at him. "so much for twenty four hour ultra long wear lipstick," she grumbles. "shhh, i can't clean it up if you keep talking," george chuckles, giving her lips one final wipe, "there. all done."

"thank you," she smiles brightly, "i won't be buying this lipstick again that's for sure."

"you know," george pauses, "it would really be a shame if someone were to mess it up again,"

"save that for later!" y/n grins, giving him a kiss on the cheek instead before turning to go back to her friends. she could hear george protesting as she walked away, smiling to herself. this time she knew she would absolutely be hearing from him later.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 15

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

It's chapter 15! Time to figure out what happened to SQQ in the latest cliff hangar.

Today no tea- but I did have a blackberry cider that was very tasty.

I also did impulse buy a baby's-first-fountain pen to get into my little writing flow and add to the ambiance of my note taking journey. So, pls ignore the worse-than-usual writing; I am learning to write with it.

let's goooooo!

Well, SQQ appears to be in a coffin? p29

fuck, i'm already smudging the ink with my new pen. The lefty curse of it all. IDK how much of this is going to be legible later. RIP

okay... but how long has he been in here? MXTX is describing everything as dusty as hell. p30 (resolved as I read further- not very long LOL)

and he has his original body! That's exciting! Who did it though?? p30

LOL SQQ has 0 chance with this "advanced level plot" p31. He is totally fucked for sure.

These 'blind corpses' sound like a walking horror show. I would be so scared omg. I don't know how far the animated series got- but if this is animated that would look cool as fuck. p32

okay! they're fueled by breath! that's really neat though! pp33-34 Scary, but cool.

I would die immediately in this situation. When the thing (blind corpses) that are already horrible and unbeatable are scared of something else -> absolutely no hope in surviving. p35

ah, it is our little snake-man. I had a suspicion this was related to him and Luo Binghe's dad. He probably took SQQ's corpse too and brought it here. p35

OMG LOL Luo Binghe's dad is awful, but also feels like a troll AND is serving dad jokes. Re: thinking back to when SQQ knocked on the coffin and he answered from inside LOOOL. p36

Listen. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the absolute DILF that is Luo Binghe's father? I am a whole lesbian but that character art cannot objectively argued as anything else. p37

and now SQQ is going on about Tianlang-jun having BDE (not those exact words but I mean when you say he's working that coffin like it's a Paris fashion week runway and Luo binghe - the man you are obsessed with- could NEVER, it says something.). p38

That fucking power move too! SQQ: seems you've waited a while to meet me, why don't you come out of there and do so. Tianlang-jun: *bats eyes* okay but only if you hold my hand and work for it p39

SQQ has this habit of getting kidnapped "for his own good" but no one ever tells him why it's good for him XD this entire situation is so annoying. Tianlang-jun did this all so that he could get him away from the sects he wanted to destroy. p43

OMG scratch that. He also wants to use him as bait to snatch his sons body as his own. p45.

aside: I'm going to have to organize these notes later- I'm not catching the nuance in the hand written notes LOL my brain is processing faster than my hand (you will notice that the last 2 points here do not match my hand written notes because they were a hot mess).

What an entrance Luo Binghe! p47

Yes SQQ! You rescue your man from his dad (RE: holding Zhuzhi lang hostage) p51

holy shit. Zhuzhi lang is WILD - he really was about to just die instead of be a hostage LOL p52 I want to know what his character motivation is. He's giving the same blind trust energy as The Core Melting Hand in MDZS. Both just so loyal to a fault/their own demise. Do we learn more? or is this it? (genuine question- don't tell me WHAT we learn, just yes/no if we learn more).

That was so smart to hit the anti-theft measures in the tomb p53

aaaaaaaand he snatched the wrong person on the escape. well, that's fantastic. p54

I am loving the traps in this mausoleum though! The face with the magma and then the various rooms. I want to know if this exists as a D&D dungeon crawl/anyone has made one, I think it would be so fun. p59

omg. I don't think that Luo Binghe realizes/knows that that was his own father and cousin. that's so terrible. Truly Luo Binghe was treated so fucking badly literally his entire life. His dad does not even give a shit. Honestly probably only had him for this situation - needing a new body. p61

:((((( Our boy, Luo Binghe is in a bad way rn. gah! so many cliff hangers. p63

MXTX Cliffhangar Lord

And now I have to wait until tomorrow to see if baby Luo Binghe makes it. I'm sure SQQ is going to do something about it but dang, he is not well.

[bcbdrums]

for the otp asks 9, 18 and 30 for soma? and spiritstein if you want

oooh... heheh, i'll answer for both, yes.

9. If they got engaged… who proposed? 

For Soul and Maka, Soul proposed. Only cuz he beat Maka to it. She was nervous, going back and forth on whether or not she should, worried he'd say no for a variety of reasons, and while she was busy warring against nerves he banished his own and took her hands over the first place they spilled blood together, their first battleground... Told her he wanted to protect her forever as more than her weapon... Aaaaaaahhhhh FEELS!!! Meanwhile for Stein and Spirit... Uh... I think I answered this in a prior ask answer already but I'll answer again. Spirit, 100% because Stein is indifferent regarding conventions. Spirit meanwhile is just as anxious and back and forth as Maka (lol) but would finally blurt it out probably under pressure and then absolutely lose it bawling because Stein would just be like, whatever. But in a 'whatever you want' way, not a rejection. Stein just doesn't think about those sorts of conventions. It's Sherlock Holmes and the solar system, for him.

18. Evening rituals?

I probably don't understand this question, but here we go. My mind is jumping straight to anime canon for Soul and Maka. Maka sticks to strict bedtime routines. Goes to bed at the same time each night, brushes her teeth exactly two minutes (she and Kid vibe hard at times), fixes her hair, and then reads herself to sleep or has a timer in case she isn't sleepy. Gotta get those eight hours in before school! Soul meanwhile....has no routine. He remembers to brush his teeth only because Maka's routine is so annoying to him. The dude falls into bed annoyed that she's so strict cuz he'd like to hang out with her a bit outside of school. So gradually, gradually... He convinces her to loosen up, and then they have weekly movie nights on the sofa. And afterward (and every night) her sweet little "good night, Soul" absolutely sends him. Poor boy can't sleep cuz he's pining so much. But these movie nights also lead to book nights. Which he complains all the way through cuz he's genuinely not interested in most of her books. And then when he is interested in some, he has to keep up the act that he isn't... Heheh. These two just spending nights in bickering like an old married couple. That's the routine. And if they ever happen to fall asleep during the movie and her head falls on his shoulder, he ain't waking her. She'd wake up tho when his drool hits her cheek, loool. For Stein and Spirit my brain is jumping all over the place... Academy days I have too many thoughts, so I don't think I should go there in this post (it'll be WAY too long). So, future them... A future where they're together. They're both so used to being alone that they would initially continue their typical routines, some of which look like the academy days. They do their own thing, follow their own interests. Spirit has a drink perhaps, goes to bed when he feels like it, reads himself to sleep (like Maka haha). Stein stays up studying something with no conception of time, falls asleep over the book or not at all. But eventually something, some triggering incident of which I'm not presently conceiving would lead them to end up sleeping on the sofa together. The personal routines wouldn't change, but then on nights when either decided they didn't want to be alone, they'd just linger in the other's presence as a sort of nonverbal cue, and sofa time would become a thing. And then I think Spirit...now at this point with the understanding that they're together, that this is real and isn't going to be lost again, would be the one to say either if he wants it or if he sees Stein in a place of needing it....would say, "hey, uhh why don't you come sleep in my room tonight?" Poor nervous sop. And then after that, that would just be a thing. One night Stein would announce amid the usual nighttime quiet, "I'm going to bed. You coming?" So it would vary between nights. And eventually reach a place of...it doesn't need to be spoken. They can exist in their quiet personal routines of study and reading and if one decides it's sleep time, they know the other will eventually follow.

30. When did they realize they loved each other?

(manga mentions/spoilers coming for those who don't want spoilers) Soul... He was definitely deeply attracted to her by the time they were in Spartoi, but I think he was attracted to her all along. Just by then it was deeper and then it was just sort of an... "oh" moment for him somewhere before the end... I wanna say he knew before Russia, but was able to focus on his feelings more after Russia. He had other stuff he was dealing with too that had priority. But yeah, like "oh, these feelings are love, but, of course I love her." So yeah just...like that. And then with Maka, I think she was also attracted to him from the very beginning and was interested in romance before he was. And I think...after he became a death scythe is when it really hit her like....everything in the world has reached a new level of seriousness, and my feelings are serious too. However, being a teenager, she didn't know what yet to do with those feelings. And here now we have the contrasting pair who didn't figure themselves out in their youth.... This bit is gonna be longer now, haha. Spirit has always loved Stein but the way he loves him has changed over time. Just like Soul and Maka, they started as partners which means a trust in the other for their lives. But, realizing he loves loves him... I don't think it was until long after he lost him. Probably in those years when he was most alone, absent wife, young daughter to raise...he suddenly realized how much he missed his real partner. But then thinking he's long past any hope of fixing that he doesn't engage his heart toward him. So a two-fold realizing... This, and then post-canon. If he can be brave enough to allow himself to open his heart up again to the possibility... He already knows how he feels. The issue is he doesn't think he has a chance at happiness anymore. Aaaaand Stein. Unhealthy obsession and confusion which I won't detail here because it will really take too long (ask me if you want me to elaborate on his feelings and how they changed over time), but he felt it when they were still teenagers, somewhere in the midst of fearing losing Spirit and actually losing him he'd start to be understanding that this is one of his feelings, but then he...accepts the loss. He doesn't think he has any other choice. The sad thing is with him it's a bit different... He accepts the loss, but his feelings only grow stronger over time. His heart is never closed in fear once he understands, like Spirit's is. His heart remains open despite thinking there's no chance of coming together. Stein would do anything...anything to show Spirit he loves him, even though he's certain there's no chance of coming together again. Post-canon I think it's he with his open heart...after the experiences of beating madness (both canons) who would be the brave one and make the move. Aaaaaahhhh I'm getting into SO much of my headcanons and giving away hints at future fics here, so I must cease.

These were VERY fun questions to answer, thank you for the ask!

[yanderu-deredere]

Saw that some of your OCs are into phone sex sooo! How would they react to their usually shy darling leaving a voicemail or something of him masturbating and you can hear the pap pap of him jerking off in the background?

a/n: hewwo! thank you for the lovely wonderful request! i absolutely love it loool i've included all my ocs that are into phone sex! hope you enjoy! (also lmaooo not the pap pap pap LOOOL)

warning: male reader as requested, phone sex, implied voice kink, male reader is the top LOL, ryouta's is kind of phone sex but kind of not

ryouta watanabe ★ profile

"Hey, I know you're probably working… but I just really miss you—"

Ryouta immediately felt his face heat up and his cock harden at the sound of your voice, all breathy and soft. You didn't usually leave him voicemails so he had gotten worried when he saw that notification on his phone.

Apparently, it was much more of an emergency than he though. His favourite kind of emergency.

"Just— hah, call me back when you get this. Please—"

His hand immediately pressed down on his growing hard-on. Mostly to give himself some sort of relief, something to grind and rut against as he listened to your sweet whining and the gorgeous way you called out his name.

The worst part was that he could hear you in the background, could barely make out the wet smack of skin and lube. Were you that desperate for him?

Ryouta had never seen this side of you before. You were usually so shy and coy, always avoiding his gaze and hiding your warm flustered face. But this? He wanted to see more.

Without even listening to the rest of the voice mail, he called you on Discord. Not on the phone. He needed to see your face, needed to see you and what you were doing.

Thankfully, you seemed to be at your desktop like he was because you answered almost immediately.

Ryouta groaned at the sight of you. Your hair was ruffled, the expression on your face pathetic. You had shed all your clothes and, from the way you sat far enough from your computer camera, he saw you fisting your cock, pre-cum already dribbling out.

“Ryou…” You huffed, hips jerking desperately.

“Are you drunk or something?” Ryouta started pushing down both his sweatpants and his boxers, his cock springing up and achingly hard “You’ve never called me like this before.”

You let out a soft sob “I-I just— I don’t know. I really miss you. You’ve been so busy.”

Ryouta couldn’t tell through the camera but he could guess that your entire face and ears were probably hot and that it took all the courage in you to admit something like that. It probably took you even more to call him, begging him.

Then again, Ryouta got you to beg pretty easily sometimes.

“Oh, darling.” He squirted some lube onto his palm before fisting his own hard-on “What were you thinking about that made you miss me?”

“Just you.” You started pumping your cock faster but Ryouta easily matched your pace “How you feel wrapped around me. How you clench on my c-cock.”

Ryouta had to bite his lip and resist the urge to cum just from your words. To think he’d had that much of an affect on you. It filled him with a sense of adoration for you.

“Want you to hold me tight and k-kiss me.” Your free hand suddenly came up to cover some of your face, likely because you were feeling too shy.

It was something you did often and Ryouta hated it.

“Don’t.” He snapped, frown evident “I want to see you. All of you.”

“Good boy.” His expression quickly turned into a soft smile when your hand dropped immediately and he couldn’t help but think the pouting look on your face was especially cute.

“Just— C-Can you come over? If you’re not too busy?” You arched your back a little, hips still jerking as you ran your fist up and down your hard cock “Wanna show you how much I’ve missed you.”

Ryouta let out a soft chuckle as he leaned back, his fist still matching your pace “Hmmm, I don’t know.”

He relished the devastated look on your face for a minute before sighing “Maybe if you be good for me and cum?”

That shy expression on your face returned but there was no way in hell you could deny him.

yeong-bae kigal ★ profile

“Hey, Yeongie, how’s the tour? I really miss you.”

Yeong-bae felt their heart melt a little at your soft voice. After a whole day of tiring fans and preparing for a troublesome concert, the sound of your voice gave them an energy that surprised them.

Like you, Yeong-bae was a bit more on the shy side. Though it was easy for them to pretend not to be, it didn’t change the fact that it drained them to act like the cool and aloof guy their fans expected them to be.

Sometimes, it felt like the only reason they kept being a pop-star was just to pamper you.

You, their timid and cute boyfriend. You, the love of their life. Oh, how he missed you too.

“I— We haven’t done are usual calls lately… I just miss your voice a lot.”

Yeong-bae hadn’t even realized! They felt bad about that. They’d just been so busy and it felt like they barely had time to sleep, let alone do anything else. To think something so important had slipped their mind!

Still, their work didn’t give him an excuse to neglect you, though.

Just as they were about to pause the voicemail to call you, your voice turned a bit breathier and Yeong-bae had to pause for a second to try and figure out exactly what was going on.

“Not just your voice… Fuck… I miss everything about you, Yeongie…”

Something about your voice, the tone it suddenly took, made Yeong-bae’s cock twitch. They shifted in their seat on the hotel bed, hesitant expression on their face. They definitely didn’t want to pause it now.

“Miss the way you kiss me, baby. Ugh— And the way you feel around me— How you used to whine and rut your hips—”

Everything clicked now. In fact, as soon as Yeong-bae realized what you were doing, they heard the sound of you in the background.

It made them rock hard to think that you were talking about them, hand around your cock, jerking it hard enough for him to hear the wet squelch of the lube. Or were you fingering yourself? Were you stretching yourself open at the thought of them?

It was so unlike you to leave a voicemail like that but, maybe, the fact that it was so uncommon made it a lot more appealing to them.

Yeong-bae couldn’t stop themselves. After taking a quick glance at the hotel room door, they started taking off their jeans; not completely but just enough that they could fish their cock out. It was already aching and leaking pre-cum even though they’d barely touched it.

But, then again, you always had that effect on them.

“You’ll call me, right? Fuck, really wanna hear your voice. Wanna cum from just your voice.”

Yeong-bae didn’t even get any lube. They spat into their palm and before wrapping their fist around their cock. They didn’t want to miss a second of your voice, didn’t want to hear anything but the sound of you and your whimpering moans.

Hell, it really didn’t take long for them to cum. You kept whining about how he felt wrapped around your cock, how he’d clench and shake and make you cum inside them.

Just as they heard your grunting shout on the phone, their back bowed and they ended up cumming all over their own hand, splattering on their jeans and on the floor.

Their face felt hot, their body trembling and their breaths coming out in short spurts.

Fuck.

No matter how good it felt, though, Yeong-bae couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed. They fell back onto their hotel bed, their fist still gripping the base of their cock.

Maybe they’d call you later, when they were a bit more put together.

soren kumar ★ profile

 “Hi, Soren… It’s around midnight now and, according to the schedule you’ve sent me and the numerous texts you’ve blown up my phone with, your concert should be over…”

Soren cursed under his breath, his eyes immediately flickering to the digital clock on the nightstand beside him. It read 1:20am. So, it’s been an hour or so since your call.

“Usually, when your concert is over, you call me… But you haven’t called yet so I wanted to call you.”

That was probably why he’d been so pissy the last hour or so. Soren was an easily angered guy when his contact with you gets limited. Especially when he hasn’t had his special call with you the night before.

Being away on tour, not being able to see you and be with you, it took a toll on Soren that surprised him. He didn’t realise that falling in love with someone would be this painful, would be this taxing. Now, all he ever wanted to do was be by your side.

Unfortunately, he was a world renowned pop-star so that was impossible.

“I just— Miss you lots. You’ll call me when you get this voicemail right?”

Soren couldn’t help but feel a little smitten with you. You sounded so cute on the phone, so shy and sweet. He felt so bad for missing the usual time the two of you call each other.

He also felt a little worried just because you didn’t sound like your usual self. You didn’t mention feeling sick so he doubted it was that but, if not that, then what?

Soren paused your voicemail and immediately called you.

You answered the phone, all breathy and soft, sounding like you’d run a marathon “Soren?”

“Hello, sweetheart. What are you up to?” He asked but, just hearing you, he already knew. In fact, a smirk spread across his face as he started unbuttoning his jeans and shucking them to the floor.

“Just—” You let out a simpering sigh that made Soren’s cock harden “Just missing you.”

“Doesn’t sound like that’s all you’re up to…” Soren’s voice took on a more chastising tone as he leaned back against the headboard of his hotel bed and pulled out his aching cock “Why don’t you be honest with me, baby?”

A pathetic little whimper left your lips but, of course, you complied “Couldn’t wait for you. Had to… ugh, had to—”

“Be bad?” He supplied the words to you and, immediately, you let out a throaty little sound that made Soren laugh almost meanly.

“I should punish you for that, shouldn’t I?” Soren reached over to his nightstand and pulled out a bottle of lube, letting it dribble out onto his hard cock, part of him wishing and imagining it was your leaking pre-cum.

“Please, please, I’m sorry, I—”

“It’s okay, baby.” Soren’s tone went from mean to soothing as he put the bottle back and fisted his cock “I’ve decided, since I’m the one who was late, I won’t punish you, hmm?”

You let out a relieved sigh.

The sound made Soren want to bully you but the pop-star was a man of his word, no matter what. No punishments. But, that didn’t mean he couldn’t have fun, right?

So, he pumped his cock, thinking of all the things he could do when he was so many miles away.

“But, in return, you’ll have to cum lots for me tonight, okay?” He finally decided and was further convinced he was right when you let out a whiny little protest.

“In fact, why don’t you cum now?” He smirked, gripping his cock a little tighter to prevent himself from cumming too early just at the thought of you “Why don’t you be my good little boy and pump that cock a little faster? Think about me, about how it feels to be inside me, huh, baby. Wouldn’t that feel so good?”

Your groaning hard cry through the phone was like music to his ears.

[voidbeau]

15. Comfort food? :)

Mashed potatoes and sausages or mashed potatoes and chicken.

Very bland usually lmfaooo.

Reason being, I was raised by my grandparents and my grandpa, who was mostly responsible for the cooking unfortunately passed away early on in my life.

My grandma didn't have a lot of energy to keep up with everything, so meals were always a "fend for yourself" kinda deal in the home.

Except for Sundays. On Sundays my grandma took the time to throw together a little meal for us usually which was typically just potatoes and chicken or sausages that she threw altogether in one little pot and let boil lmfaooo.

Wasn't fancy, but food driven child that i was enjoyed it anyway lmfao.

just add some butter and salt and pepper and i was good to go loool.

So now when I'm feeling really lazy but know I should probably eat more than just cheese and bread, i just throw some potatoes on the stove and some kinda meat in the oven and it reminds me of those quiet little Sunday dinners with grandma lmao.

[girl-named-matty]

Interview with a Writer

thank you for the tags! @thefeatherwrites and @rypnami <3

When did you start writing?

Pretty much once I figured out how to write sentences. Ever since I was little I loved making stories in my head and I wanted to write them for people. My oldest brother was really into writing scripts, so I actually started script writing before formal writing. But when I was eight I wrote my first "little" story on some papers that were stamped together as my book lol.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I really don't know. I usually try to write what I enjoy and read what I enjoy so I don't often write what I don't read. I suppose you could say murder mysteries although ITSOM is technically murder mystery, it's not a formal one so who knows LOL. I do plan on writing an actual murder mystery sometime in my life.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

Agatha Christie, Jane Austen, J. R. R. Tolkein are three authors I love and I would love to try and emulate them. You can kinda see based on those answers what three genres of books I'd prefer to read. 😂

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

Oh gosh really anywhere. When I'm on my computer, usually on my beanbag or bed. But if I'm writing my fanfiction down in my journal, which I do more often now, I'm usually at a table, in my bed, or literally in class (I get bored lol).

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Keep getting obsessed with different things. You don't just have to stick with one obsession to inspire whatever you want to write on. Perhaps this is only advice for those who get into things like fandoms, movies, or subjects really easily and obsessively but that's usually how I do it. I feel like when I do that it opens up many more opportunities. Also act out your scenes homies, it helps you picture them.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

If it involves romance and the main character, healthy romance. Although I'm not that much of a romance writer simply because I don't think I'm the best at it, I like the fluffy cute stuff that's also romantic and respectful. I yearn for a man to respect me like the woman I am. So, my writing often emulates that if it involves romance.

What is your reason for writing?

I love it! I like sharing my stories and I get sooooo many ideas. Honestly too many. I don't mean to pat myself on the back but I'm really good at quickly coming up with ideas for stories. That is one talent that I do know I have. Now whether they are good or not is totally a different story HAHA.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

FUNNY COMMENTS. Ohhh my gosh Like I appreciate all the sweet ones and I reply to like 90% of my comments but oh my gosh the funny comments are what get me. I LOVE those kinds of unhinged comments. 😂😭

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Honestly I don't know, as long as its good I don't really care! I just hope I am an inspiration point for them!

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Action scenes are one of those (I used to be a Marvel fanfic writer, let's just say I have practice) but I'm also really partial to writing emotional scenes. I bottle up my emotions quite often so writing scenes like that really helps. And I guess it also helps if you've got inspo straight from yourself loool. 😭

How do you feel about your own writing?

oh gosh. sometimes I'm like "omg this is great" and other times im like "did I grab this from the garbage WHAT IS THIS?!" It's really a hit or miss for me but I'd like to think that I am a good writer. I could definitely use more practice and I know I can definitely get better. But that's what matters is that you put forth the effort for it!

no pressure tags! @endeavour12345, @ravenwind-75, @morelikeravenbore, + anyone else who wants to do this <3

[alder-saan]

20 author questions

Tagged by @yourlocaldisneyvillain, thank youuuu

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

1, lol

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

6199 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Carterwood

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

well...

Of scars and fresh blood, with an enormous amount of 15 kudos!!!!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

All of them. I don't like when I leave a comment and the author doesn't reply, so I reply. And that's why I have more comments than kudos.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well... Of scars and fresh blood this is a hurt/hurt fanfiction, no comfort and major character death so. Yeah, kinda angsty?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't have a fic with a happy ending on AO3, I do however have some fics with happy endings on Tumblr, like Hide and Need, but they aren't good at all. You can check on my profile but I hate every single fic I wrote before my Carterwood one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope. I mean, Gwen fandom used to be the kindest fandom, everything I wrote, even trashy, was welcomed with a lot of love. After some drama™ happened, I kinda decided to go because... Ugh. I don't like drama. And now I am in a dead fandom, with 2 people and a shoelace (I am the shoelace)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I try. The kind that isn't smut but more spicy romance.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

nope, never and I usually don't like them.

11. Have you ever had a fiction stolen?

Lol, who would want to steal my fanfictions? My Gwen ones are terrible and my Carterwood one... has 15 kudos.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

well technically my first first first fanfictions were since I wrote them in French before translating them in English. Then I did translate (from English to French this time) the Path of Poisons (an abandonned multichapter Larissa/oc fic)

13. Have you ever co-writtten a fic before?

curently doing it! with the amazing @tanith-rhea, we're working on Agent Carter season 3 (the first chapter isn't finished yet so... it won't be there until a long time loool)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

????? I don't know? I changed a lot my tastes about ships since... Well I'm still young™ so I didn't spend much time in communities, and the ones I was in before were... Straight ships I don't like now. BUT there is this one ship. About a French/Belgium comic no one knows about. That is very specific to two of the books in the series. Nastasia Wardynksa and Francis Blake. Of course I had to ship them. It's a middle school ship so yeah, it's straight, but I still love it. It's one of my comfort ships and there is 0 work about it, I have a whole story about it in my head but won't write it because... why doing it?

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh! A LOT of them. Like... prolly all of them, I don't feel like writing these days (actually I want to write but I just don't manage to do it)

16. What are your writing strengths?

idk lol

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogues? Characterisations? Descriptions?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

UGH STOP WRITING IN FRENCH PLEASE!!!! Or at least ask some French speakers because sometimes it's just... I want to cry but it's cute and it can be great but most of the time it's terrible like... "ma chérie fille" as a translation of "my darling girl"... NO. Just NO. it'd be "ma fille chérie", and NO, because it's for your literal CHILD so NO.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warrior Cats I was 10 and I had a note book I would FILL with a fanfiction and I wanted it to be an actual book

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Of scars and fresh blood. The only acceptable one I have.

Idk who to tag so tagging anyone who wants to be.

[witchybitchness]

Going to start putting up more readings... But today I meditated with my Love, Beauty and War Goddess (I tend to not like giving away my entire deity list but I like listing everything she represents to me before giving her name) Aphrodite.

She wanted me to do self-care to make my readings more accurate. Encouraged me to finish things that I had been putting off for myself etc

After I followed her instructions I let her and the energies of all female sister deities come through me for a pendulum session after I gave Lady Aphrodite an offering cos she was so good to me today.

I feel refreshed. She's sort of like a best friend that lights a fire on your ass to get you to help yourself but also comforts you. I have a bust representing her in my altar and I can feel her fierce strength, support and belief in me whenever I get near her.

I have various ways to do divination. Tarot, pendulum, ancestral work, dreams, scrying etc I can even read smoke.

Today I used my pendulum and board made of a tree stump.

Well, my pendulum started giving me different answers! Not the usual doom and gloom but uplifting messages I had never gotten before.

I got told that although this defeat was necessary, really good things and a sense of awareness was coming to all of us, regardless of religion or spirituality or politics.

I was also told my family was moving to another country that was more expensive to live in (not happy) but that was freer than others. I was given a name that I will keep to myself because I don't want to get too excited.

Following my Lady's advice, I took a very needed nap after this and I dreamt and kept seeing strange imagery.

I saw a trial, not for Trump, but for Vance for attempted assassination for hire. He was trying to kill Trump to take his place since he'd be next in line as vice president. Not saying it's true but I found it... kinda funny. I kinda gigglesnorted in my sleep seeing him looking terrified while he was being questioned in court. He looked like he had been crying LOOOL. (His liner didn't hold up hahaha)

The reason why I take it as a grain of salt it's cos my prophetic dreams usually come in symbols not something this direct.

Like on election night I saw a massive blue wave freezing as if by magic and then... well you saw what happened.

But it's just frozen, not gone.

Holding still until defrosting.

Then I saw another dream which seemed more like wishful thinking. I saw Trump in the Oval Office pacing in the dark while there's an obvious fire outside. The glow can be seen through the windows behind his desk and it's his only light.

It's the first time he's truly prayed in this life. His people had left him and locked him in the office as people from both sides were storming the WH to kill him.

They were physically hungry, betrayed and so angry (I saw them. Emaciated with onky furious adrenaline keeping them alive).

He had lied to them and they had lost so much, including family, friends, and money as well as peace of mind. They had turned into beasts but all focused on him.

They eventually broke into the office and dragged him to gallows in front of a fire and I saw familiar faces of rich men being forced to kneel while tied to watch him be executed.

He was hung in front of them as if to tell them "You're next".

Then his body was taken apart a la Johan de Witt. (If you don't know what was done to him, look him up. Be prepared for gruesomeness)

After all those weird dreams (guess my mind needed purging and nice things) I woke up feeling pretty cleared up.

Suggestion: listen to your deities about taking care of yourselves and let them help you.

I feel so good after all this. Refreshed even. Guess I just needed to get the anger and disbelief out and my dreams helped. It was a short nap but the dreams felt so long. Like hours. Love that.

My tummy and back hurts but I literally bed rotted for hours after finishing all the tasks Lady Aphrodite recommended for me to finally get back on track without feeling so heavy.

[eyesontheskyline]

Omg really??? Based on your writing I would’ve never guessed that you feel the imposter syndrome, I hope this comes out the way I mean it to (in the sense that your writing is impeccable)!!! You are very talented and I think that I relate to you since I also tend to be very self critical at times, but please trust me, you have nothing to worry about!!! If you would publish your fic I would buy it in a second

Omg yes, I spend the vast majority of my writing time feeling like that meme of the dog in the kitchen who's like "I have no idea what I'm doing".

I write a lot of bad sentences. I write whole bad scenes / sections, I agonise for hours over hundreds of words that still turn out boring and pointless or make no sense and need to be cut out. I have huge blank page anxiety - each time I finally hit publish on one chapter, I'm back at square one for the next chapter, and moving forward from there gets more difficult for me each time. I don't notice number of hits except when something external brings them to my attention, and kudos kind of go over my head (I appreciate them please leave kudos! but it's hard to feel like they represent real human people the way comments do), but each time a chapter does worse in comments than usual, my confidence takes a massive nosedive and I feel like people actively hated it.

Basically I'm kind of neurotic about this. I care a lot about it and I don't feel most of the time like I'm particularly good at it. Or like, there are parts of it I think I am quite good at, but the parts I'm not great at (or need to work harder at or whatever) are necessary to get the parts I am good at out into the world. Does that make sense? Like I can hear the characters in my head without too much effort, it's just a quirk of my brain to be able to choose the voices in my head - so I know that most of the time my dialogue sounds like they could've said it. But I need to work hard at pacing and I'm not great at plot, I'm aware my writing could be easily boiled down to two pairs of eyeballs in a room having a conversation a lot of the time, and my like. . . technical creative sentence-making ability took a real nosedive in the years I spent not writing anything because I was growing another human.

So yeah. All that to say sometimes the impostor syndrome dials all the way up to paralysis, and I appreciate all your kind words. I think every creative person deals with this, and I sure as shit do loool.

In the words of Emily Prentiss multiple times in my fic: I'm a mess.

[sennaverstappendiary]

the netherlands grand prix ✩ 27.08.2023

i genuinely don't even know where to start with this. my favorite race of all time (suzuka 90 is a close second). i was there. what a fucking masterpiece genuinely i don't know where to start?? ah??? so i guess i'll just... start???

the summer hadn't been too kind to me, but let's not get into that too much because truly who cares (i'm trying to get over something here), but it was my bday and this was my first race as a 21 year old ^_^ 💕🥺☀️☀️🌷🌷 and this race means much to me than just... best race of the season (which it truly fucking is btw like believe me if you think s1ngap0re was better u gotta unfollow me i'm sorry blud 💀💀💀)

sooo. erm. let me start with free practice!!! hey yeah i don't ever watch fp, but. guess what. I WAS THERE‼️‼️‼️‼️🥺🥺🥺 i had gotten tickets for zandvoort day one, and i'm beyond glad that i did. so so many good memories. i got so fucking sunburned 🥺☀️☀️. i saw vallteri on his bike on the way to the track (me and all the other verstappies in the bus waved at him and he very awkwardly waved back 😁😁😁😁😭😭😭😭 love u val) watching f1 cars, seeing rocky and max irl... it was beyond everything. i loved it so fucking much. i got my rbr jacket (🥰🥺💕🙏💥) there, along with just very good and nice memories :,)... no offense to daniel but seeing daniel break his wrist live was also very fucking.. lets say interesting 😵😵😵😵 i do NOT wish anyone harm btw genuinely very genuinely but that's a memory that will stick w me forever.... btw the fact i got a sunburn is very funny considering there was no sun to be seen on race day LOOOL. also george? new haircut? gax? what the fuck was this weekend (take me back)

i regret that i didn't go to qualifying irl, but we ball ⛹️‼️‼️‼️💥💥 qualifying made me saauuurrr nervous... as always but now i was about 40x more nervous than usual. i think i shed a fucking tear when max got p1. the actual qualifying session wasn't toooo crazy i guess 😭😭😭 but i was just SO happy that our baby got pole... i was so happy 🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷 OH AND ALEXANDER ALBON I SEE U. ALEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXX 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

race day. 27/08/2023 will be in the history books for fucking ever and i'm so serious 🥺💕💘 not only the race with the most overtakes EVER. not only the race where max won his ninth gp in a row. but. we got the cutest fucking video of max and the grid before the race. my mom forced me to go to lunch with her and our family (🙄🙄🙄 /lh) and i was stressing SO fucking hard that we wouldn't make it back in time... and then i saw that beautiful video. the grid loves max so much it makes me feel sick??? 🥺🥺🥺💕💕‼️💥💥‼️‼️🌷🌷🌷 LIKE HOWWWW cutieful is he. jesus christ. anyway. i come back 3 minutes before race start. i'm shaking crying throwing up. and then the rain starts. me and my dad look at each other like erm whadda scallop... race starts. absolute fucking chaos. but what a beautiful chaos it was - the vibes were SO good. fernando slaying, max slaying, LIAM LAWSON slaying 🥺🥰🥺🥰🥺💌💕💌💕💌 genuinely i rewatched this race and my takeaway was that YES actually zandvoort DOES deserve a 10/10. argue with da wall. ALSO after the race. max with the nine gesture. our monarch looking like he wants to kiss max. that lady serenading max with the wilhelmus (????). MAX SPEAKING DUTCH (i did a walter white and dropped to the floor sobbing im being so fucking serious) 🥺🥺🥺🥺🙏🙏💕💕💕💕💌💌💌💌 this race is my roman empire and i love it so fucking much. thank you zandvoort.

✩ song of the race: summerlove - s connection

yaassss summer vibes... yaasssss max verstappen slay... yasss... 🥺🍹🌷✨

✩ extra: a small photodump

[yakultii]

no but actually do u know how many things I’ve been offered just bc Ibe always had good grades like trips, multiple leadership positions within my uni, many congrats (similar thing happened all my life in my everyday life before I went into total hibernation).. but I always have to decline and it makes me hate myself (i sometimes think it would be easier if I completely hated myself cos then I wouldn’t be so mad when I watch whatever potential I have fade away) ..in previous years I’ve accepted opportunities and enjoyed them for an extremely short period and got all excited and hopeful about it all then completely fallen apart JDJDFJFICHC and it’s never from the stress of the actual opportunity or anything that’s always chill, it’s just the stress of being alive! this is such a first world problem like im so still able to observe, sometimes feel the joys in life amongst my safety, good food (every once in a while) access to education and so on but sometimes I wish things were different only because I see how they are different for some other people and I can’t help but envy them… then again I probably shouldn’t be reaping the benefits of uni opportunities when I go to 3 classes max every 12 weeks and do all my assignments the day they’re due LIFE IS SO WEIRD I guess god is fair LOOOL. but when they mark my assignments little do they know that I sat amongst trash on an empty stomach sleep deprived and disconnected from my brain sometimes I don’t know how I do assignments cause all my life they have come naturally to me in the sense that I don’t even think I just do and I get a top mark (most of the time) I was gonna say at least I have that going for me but it’s kind of a useless benefit when I can’t do anything else OK IDEK WAHT I JUST SAID ignore my silly little rants as per usual this sideblog is just so silly LOL if anyone read this pls know I luv u lots and lots more than I could actually express

not the uni invite to go on an overseas study tour for free! like full scholarship UGH .. just for being a high achieving student BRUh I WISH .. as if I can even get out of bed for more than a few hours a day..as if I don’t feel like Im having a heart attack almost at all times.. as if I am even human…this is not what my twenties were made for im sure 😣😣😣😣 (maybe my 30s will be better?..ugh a sickening thought but im used to the nausea now 😃)

[glowingbadger]

I saw arranged marriage Hubert- ...can we have a part two? Thanks!

IT. IS. TIME.

Seriously I've known I wanted a part two of that one since I posted it loool which is actually super rare for me. As a heads up guys, I'll almost never do direct continuations, or multiple fics from the same prompt or specific concept- only if I feel there's genuinely more material in there to explore.

And we didn't get to be spicy with Hubert in the OG arranged marriage post (here, btw) so let's gooooo

Also man I gotta take a break from fics and do some headcanons for a while, these are making my brain flail wildly lol like this was another one where I'd been just staring at it and going back to it for so long that I have no idea if it's good anymore

Hubert (FE3H) x AFAB/Fem Reader

Arranged marriage, pt 2

NSFW 18+

"Linhardt, I swear to you, if she does not make a full recovery, and soon, I will ensure that your own suffering is many times worse than-"

A bemused sigh cuts through harsh words. Then,

"Don't waste your breath trying to intimidate me, Hubert, you know it's never worked," then, muttered irritably, "if you're hoping to annoy me into efficacy though, you may see results."

Something cools your skin, and then gradually warms it and seems to seep into you. Healing magic, perhaps, though you've only experienced it a handful of times before to compare it to. You feel your aching muscles relax on a familiar bed with a very familiar scent. You're so desperately exhausted that even moving a finger seems daunting- yet the magic entering your system gradually restores you. Slowly, very slowly, your mind is introducing you to ideas one at a time. You'd heard Hubert's voice nearby, and Linhardt's soon after. You don't think anyone else is present. You're being tended to for some reason. Think, what happened...

"Have you checked for signs of the full list of toxins that I provided?"

"Yes, and if you would actually listen to me, you would know that she's not poisoned and she's not injured- just acutely exhausted. Which makes two of us, I suppose."

The scraping of a chair across the floor finally shakes you enough to open your eyes. You watch Linhardt's back as he heads toward the door of the bedroom, passing by a visibly agitated Hubert. You wonder what has him so riled up.

"Hubert..?"

His golden eyes widen, and he hastily comes to sit beside you. He speaks your name with a strange rasp in his voice, and for a moment, he seems to reach for you. Yet he stalls himself, instead only shifting the chair closer to you.

"See? What did I say?" Linhardt says over his shoulder before departing. Hubert pays him no mind.

The magic infused into your body seems to work more rapidly now. Already, you feel more alert, more grounded. You sit upright on the bed, but notice how Hubert's cutting gaze narrows.

"Don't exert yourself-"

"I'm fine, really," you say, taking in a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh. You look to Hubert once more, thinking to apologize for taking his time. And it strikes you that somehow he seems even paler than usual, his eyes weary. You open your mouth to speak, but he begins first,

"I... Have a number of questions for you."

You nod. He pauses, unusually hesitant. You've never seen your husband at a loss for words. Eventually, he says,

"The letter you delivered to me- the seal was unbroken. You never opened it. Why did you come so quickly to bring it to me? You..." He frowns, and can't meet your eyes, "surely you knew it would be nearly impossible to get it to me in time."

Through his uncharacteristically rambling words, you realize he's asking you quite a few questions at once. Well, you do owe him some sort of explanation.

"All of the letters with that particular seal- you burn them immediately after reading them. So I figured- I mean, I wasn't trying to spy on you-"

"I know," he says softly. Then, his voice more sure, he says, "No spy would put themself at risk to deliver such sensitive information without even investigating its contents. So now, I must ask you why."

You don't reply immediately. Taking a breath and steadying yourself, you recall the events of the last evening, forcing your mind to place the pieces into a comprehensible image.

"The letter was delivered here after you'd already left for your mission- and I, uh, happened to recognize the seal. And... I was worried about you," you notice his lips tighten to a thin line, his jaw clenching, but you go on, "I couldn't risk you going into this mission without potentially important intel, so... I had a horse readied."

"And you made what ought to be a day's journey in four or five hours, by my estimate," he replies stiffly. You remember the frigid air of the pitch black early morning as you pushed yourself and your mount forward. You remember your body aching and your lungs burning. You remember collapsing into red and black fabric that smelled of bitter coffee and the iron tang of blood, clutching the letter in a trembling hand.

If the intel in this letter is as important as the others bearing the same seal, then Hubert can't carry out a mission without it, you had pushed yourself forward with the thought, The Empire needs him. His allies need him. His allies care about him- and so do I.

"I guess so," you almost laugh as you shake the memories from your head, "no wonder I passed out, huh." Your husband doesn't look amused in the slightest.

"Your actions were foolhardy and short-sighted," Hubert narrows his gaze at you, "However... because of the information you delivered, we were able to change course, and avoid catastrophic losses. You saved every one of my operatives. You saved me," he says it as though irritated by the fact, then trails off into silence.

"Well... It was worth it, then," you say simply.

He gets to his feet abruptly, startling you a bit. Refusing to meet your eyes, he says,

"I... have been extraordinarily cruel to you."

"No, I understand you had to be cautious-"

"And I can't begin to comprehend what compels you to make such excuses for me," he raises his voice over yours. But when he speaks again, it's softer, and with a note of finality, "I am... relieved that you are safe and well."

He turns toward the door, but you scramble out from under the sheets and grab hold of his sleeve.

"Wait- Hubert-"

You practically stumble into him on your way off of the bed. He catches you by your arms, but his posture is stiff, his touch distant as though he might flee at any moment. You recall what he'd said months ago now- that he wouldn't lay a finger on you until you knew the truth of how you felt about him. At the memory, you blurt out,

"I- I really admire you!"

His brow furrows deeply, his pale complexion tinted red.

"What manner of utter madness-"

"You work relentlessly for your ideals, with no expectation of personal reward or gain," you go on breathlessly, "You care so deeply for your allies- I know you do- and you're brilliant at encouraging their strong points and warning them away from dangerous habits. I'm not being naive," your hands cling to the front of his clothes, as though you could possibly keep him in place, keep him from pulling away from you yet again, "I know the things you've done, Hubert. But I also know why you've done them."

A gloved hand cups your cheek and spreads long fingers into your hair. His lips press firmly to yours, and a rush of heat washes through your body. You lean into him, fists clenching around his clothing, pulling him against you. How often had you recalled how his kiss had felt in these past weeks and months? Even then, you knew your memory couldn't compare with the feeling of his body near yours and his tongue brushing along the crease of your lips. You welcome him, and at last, you risk releasing his clothes from your grip, instead running your hands firm up his chest. He inhales deeply. You can feel his heart pounding beneath your touch.

Then, as suddenly as the kiss began, he breaks way.

"Forgive me," he mutters, turning his gaze away, "I- I had sworn I would not lay a hand on you-"

"Until I was certain of how I felt about you," you say, "That's what you promised me."

Once again, a light red flush creeps across his high cheekbones.

"You... ought to be in bed," he says, and clears his throat. But he hasn't pulled away from your touch.

"Only if you join me," you reply. You're not sure when you became so bold with your infamously cold husband. Perhaps it's the red tint across his face, or the way you know his heart is fluttering in his chest, much the same as yours. Hubert takes a breath and levels his cutting gaze on your expression, as though looking for any hint of hesitation. Then, without a word, he unclasps the cloak around his shoulders and lays it across the bedside chair.

Smiling warmly, you stand on tiptoe and press another kiss to his lips as he begins to undo the extensive series of buttons and clasps down the front of his militant attire. You do what you can to help, pulling aside layers of clothing between curious but insistent kisses. Once he's finally left in dress pants and his white undershirt, you run your hands up his torso, murmuring,

"You wear far too much clothing."

His hands slide around your waist, pulling you to him, and even this smallest gesture to affirm his own desire for you sets your pulse racing.

"Perhaps you are simply impatient," he whispers, heated breath brushing your skin.

"I think I've been plenty patient with you," you say, pulling him back towards the bed, a little surprised when he willingly follows. Then, he chuckles softly, the sound short and subdued, and says,

"That you most certainly have."

He follows you onto the bed, brushing your hair from your face before kissing you once again. Yet the feeling is completely different. It's deep and unrestrained, baring a kind of passion you hadn't realized had been lying dormant in him. Whimpering against his lips, you drape your arms around him, allowing all of the pent up longing of the past months to roar to life within you. Your body arches up against him as his tongue runs along yours and you finally feel his hands- the touch he'd denied you even when you'd kissed him the very first time. His hands run along the curves of your body, tracing and studying you. His breath comes quicker, and at last, you feel the heat and pressure of his manhood, hard between your thighs as it fights the confines of his trousers. Without thinking, your heel nudges the back of his thigh, urging him closer to you while your nails rake down his chest atop his shirt.

Hubert draws in a sharp breath and seizes your hands, pinning them to the sheets beside you. His face is flushed, his lips kissed pink and his hair rustled out of place.

"Behave," he says, his voice low and husky, "I... I can't bear it when you provoke me like that..."

You grin and bite at your bottom lip. Could it be that the Emperor's left hand is unusually sensitive to touch? Your eyes flicker down his frame and see his member already throbbing hard.

"I want to make you feel good, Hubert," you say softly.

"There will be other nights to indulge my... predilections," he replies, and releases your wrists to settle at your side, "For now, I insist that you allow me to atone for how I've treated you."

You're about to protest, to insist that he has nothing to make up for. But then, his lips are at your neck, his tongue pulsing against sensitive nerves that have wanted him for so long, and the words dissolve into a pleasured whine. You hardly notice, but his hand is marching down the front of your shirt, undoing buttons and exposing inch by inch of flesh. His lips soon follow, trailing down over your collarbones and across your chest to your breasts. An arm around your waist tugs you against him as the warmth of his mouth surrounds one of your nipples. Your head tilts back on the pillow, and you have to stop yourself from tangling your fingers through raven black hair. You don't want to overwhelm him. Instead, your hand finds his at your hips, drawing it upwards so you can remove the glove keeping you from him. Hubert is surprisingly compliant, watching you with a blaze of lust in his eyes as you tug away the fabric. He removes the other without a word, and sets them both aside. Now, you can feel him against your skin, his caress worshiping every curve of your frame while he kisses and gently bites at the swell of your breasts.

Without realizing, you'd been rubbing your thighs together as though you could possibly find relief from the rapidly building need between them. Then, Hubert's touch slides beneath the hem of your breeches, and your hips instinctively rise to meet his touch. You let out a trembling sigh as his long fingers ease between your folds, gliding across your aching clit until the tips tease your entrance.

"You're soaked..." he murmurs as though in disbelief. You offer him a hazy smile and say,

"I've wanted to be with you for so long, Hubert..."

His free hand guides you to face him, and he presses a slow and tender kiss to your lips. Before long, you're forced to break from him with a pleasured gasp as his fingers gently work into your drooling pussy, massaging just behind your clit and steadily pushing deeper, careful never to hurt you.

"I dearly regret having made you wait for so long," he says softly, watching your expressions as his fingers curl and pulse against your inner walls, "I have been a terribly neglectful husband, I fear."

Face flushed red and thighs tensing in around his hand, you force your hazy eyes to meet his. You want to reach out to him. You want to cling to him as your release takes you. Instead, you merely raise a hand to cradle his face and whimper his name. And he watches. He watches like he's never seen anything so beautiful as you gasp aloud and cum around his fingers. They stroke you deep inside, pushing you through your climax as you pant and moan for him- for your husband.

"Mmh... Hubert..." you gradually catch your breath as he slides his fingers out from you. You barely notice a subtle shift in his expression as he watches you gather yourself.

"I ought to do more for you-"

"No, I-" you cut him off, "I want you, please-"

Then, he's atop you on all fours, pulling your breeches down your legs with an urgency that catches you somewhat off guard. He doesn't bother with the rest of his own clothing, or with the shirt hanging from your arms and pooling under you on the bed. Hubert merely guides your thighs around his hips and opens the front of his trousers. And he kisses you, over and over, stealing your breath and sending your head spinning, and before you can track, you feel the hot tip of his cock pressing between your lower lips.

As the head pushes into your tight, wet cunt, Hubert tries and fails to bite back a primal, lustful groan. The pressure of his member gradually filling you is incredible, but despite this, you can't take your eyes off of his expression. You've never seen him look so earnest, and so strangely vulnerable. And this time, when you wrap your arms around his shoulders and hold him close, he doesn't deny you.

Soon, the head of his cock hits your deepest point, his pelvis fitting firm between your thighs as his full length nestles within you to the base. With a whimper, you feel yourself tighten and squeeze around him. Hubert breathes out your name and presses his lips to the crook of your neck, only shifting his hips slightly, slowly and rhythmically rubbing himself against your inner walls. His brow furrowed deeply, his lips at your neck press firmer, followed by his teeth, and soon he's marking you along your throat and down your collarbones as the pace of his thrusts gradually increases.

One arm hooks under your knee, drawing your leg upward and allowing him to push deeper into you, while the other arm slides under your waist to hold your body flush to his. In a tangle of limbs and half-removed clothing, your bodies move together, gasps and moans harmonized as Hubert's hips sway and his member pistons into you. You feel his abdomen flex tight with each thrust, his body harder and just a little more toned than you'd expected, but with a slender elegance you can't help but admire. Your fists clench around his shirt, scraping your nails across his back as his teeth lay into the crook of your neck. He must have marked you half a dozen times by now, but the heat of his mouth and the passion of him pressing himself against you is only more addictive each time.

Then, without even realizing, your hand runs up along his neck, and a shudder runs through his frame. Caging you against the bed, Hubert bucks his hips forward, suddenly thrusting into you deeper and harsher. You gasp out his name, your fingers curling in his hair, which only provokes him further.

"If- if you don't... I can't, I'll-" he can't make his words coherent, but you feel his cock swell and throb inside of you and know he's close.

"I- I want it..!" you whimper in his ear, "Please, Hubert- cu-cum for me!"

Hubert's restraint breaks like a cracked dam, and with a shaky moan, he drives into you to the hilt, nearly pushing you back on the bed. Then, his cock pulses and throbs as he cums, each volley causing his length to swell out against your clenching hole. In some distant corner of your mind, you think that your husband must not indulge in physical pleasure often; he's cumming so hard you can feel his entire body tense, and before long, he's filled you so thoroughly that you swear his release must be dripping down the curve of your ass. Then, at long last, he eases his cock out from your folds, and practically collapses on the bed beside you.

Smiling warmly, you brush stray bangs away from his face as you both catch your breath. Hubert clears his throat and says rather formally,

"Do you, er... require anything of me?" when you look at him curiously, he adds, "I have... never before been with anyone whom I cared to remain with afterwards."

You ease closer to him on the bed. Then, taking his hand in yours, you guide his arm around your waist and say,

"Well, we should probably clean up."

"Yes, of course, I'll prepare a bath for you." he says, and seems about to get up before you cut in,

"Wait- just..." you rest your hands on his chest, speaking softly in the quiet of your bedroom, "stay with me a little while?"

Hubert exhales, and pauses for a moment. Perhaps you should have known that his relative inexperience with true intimacy would blend strangely with his pragmatic and devoted personality. Yet then he draws near and places a lingering kiss to your forehead.

"Of course, my dearest wife. For as long as you will have me."

You're still a bit shaky, bitten and kissed everywhere, and not to mention practically dripping with your lover's cum. Regardless, you nuzzle your head against Hubert's chest, smiling as you note the uneven, fluttering rhythm of his heart. Then, with some surprise, you feel his arms draw around you and hold you close to him, unabashed and certain at last.

[storiesofsvu]

Happy thursday.

fair warning, if you care about svu spoilers at all, make sure you're staying FAR away from social media until you've watched it.

WOOF

spoilers under the cut for all three l&o's and not really for CME, but just some minor thoughts

Thursday Thursday… here we go!

As usual Ayanna looking like a fucking bomb snack in her suits

Ian doyle get your crusty ass face off my fucking tv. Like, im literally writing Emily fic as I’m watching organized crime, this is NOT THE TIME.

Okay, not surprised the snitch is already dead.

Ah… and we’re back to the sleazy casino manchild. Amazing.

The more we find out about jet, the more I love her.

Wait… bobby’s MARRIED??!? Did we know this already and I just forgot or is this new information? Or is the new info just that he’s married to a mob boss’s niece?

Okay also…the mob boss woman was in the once upon a time in el barrio svu ep.. that’s where I know her from…

LOL to Jamie little white kid freaking over the food and bigger LOL to them having a giant pile of containers to take with him…

Murphy’s accent keeps slipping in and out which is weird cause the actor is irish… then again, if he’s been living in the us for that long it probably does that anyways

The girl playing Rika has defs been on svu before… but im not complaining… she’s hot.

Yeah she was in s19.

Bobby’s such a lil cutie.

“I deserve a lot more than that. But you’re going to spend it on me. Dinner, maybe some jewels…”  “buy you a house if it means I get to come home to you.”  ….things to file away for future fic inspo….

Jet… omg.. I love you.

Okay… but like… jet was being flirted with by a KNOWN gangster ,one who clearly wanted more time with her, whether that is pure intention or not (cause out on the street he did seem a bit genuine, esp once murphy showed up) and like, yes I get that she’s a cop, but WHY would she be left to walk to her car alone late at night. Like, im not talking police escort, but at the very least a “security” from the club or a bartender or anything like… there are some bars that don’t let their service staff walk to their cars alone….

Okay, im actually invested in this arc…  weird.

Now we’re onto mothership. Will I pay attention or will I focus on the prentiss smut I’m working on? Only time will tell!!

Shouldn’t this be a special victims case?

Cops walking up to a suspect muttering “don’t run, don’t run, don’t run.” Will always be hilarious to me.

“these Zumba classes are not working…”  “…I did all the running.” LOOOL that is some quality partner banter. Love it.

I literally just said “where tf are this kid’s parents.”  Like… he’s under 18..

God this is one of those cases that just has curveball after curveball…

Wait… barba upped a case to reckless endangerment and rita’s response was “really, now we’re talking felonies?!” but now RE means no jail time?? Brb while I go google some shit. Okay… It looks like its first degree vs second degree. I’ll accept that.

Samantha maroun and rita Calhoun go on shopping sprees together and I will not accept notes on this. They’re both always so colourful.

I feel like this case would be a super hard one to take to trial… like that jury is gonna be deadlocked no matter what, it would so likely be a mistrial.

Damn these lawyers are fucking smart and know their shit. Good job.

Holy FUCK another curveball. Damn. This is old school writing. Bless.

 Okay, svu time. I don’t know if I’m prepared. (and not because I ship it…)

Still cant get over that Oscar papa is a fucking TWINK

Awwwee sonny… sweet sonshine. I fucking miss you. Wish you were around more often.

Wow… timing.. Seriously? We couldn’t even get sonny in the room?? He had to zoom in? wtf?!

This aint the first time a perp has threatened her son.. like.. she aint fucking around anymore

Also… the fact that they were *actually* going for noah is terrifying and makes it like, so much more worse?!

Fuck.. Velasco… ive missed you…

A phoebe mention!! Can we see her again pls?

Still haven’t decided if I like Bruno or not. Wouldn’t be mad if he joined the team cause lort knows they need a bigger squad. Also really liked that other Bronx detective

Okay.. note on the commercial break… they’re making ANOTHER magic mike??? Is channing tatum that desperate for money??

LOL the “let me call you amanda from now on” line followed by “alright well tell carisi I’ll be home late.” Omg. Fin. Best one liners.

“all you white boys look alike to me” LOL.

Bruno my man, why TF you carrying around that much cash?!?

Yes… THIS ONE! The black girl detective from the bronx. I want more of her.

HANDS! Joe.. jfc calm yourself

Churlish! Okay… imma try to remember that name

….im assuming we’re not getting any muncy in this ep

YEESSS VELASCO playing dirty fake UC (well… kinda…) this should not be as hot as it is…

OH MY GOD ARE WE ACTUALLY IN COURT?! IT’S A FUCKING MIRACLE.

Man… testifying/prosecuting/being on the jury in a gang related case like this, like, my anxiety would be through the fucking roof for the rest of my life…

Im over here still trying to figure out just how dirty joe was playing? Like, if he was gonna go that bad why do it in front of a cop he doesn’t know that well. Like yeah maybe he has a hook with mcgrath but im just wary of shit rn. He’s not that ballsy….

Okay, this isn’t the first time that liv has made threats like this, and it wont be the last.

Yeah.. still so confused about joe… like he *knows* what he’s doing…. Right? Like at first I lowkey thought it was the two of them playing good cop bad cop like liv & Elliot used to back in the day.

“that an invitation?” DUARTE WOW WAY TO BE FUCKING BOLD (would probs prefer that to eo tbh)

Theyre flirting your honour

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??!!! ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?!!? I legit wish you could see my face rn. WOW SVU WAY TO FUCKING GO DARK THERE IS ONLY 10 MINS LEFT OF THIS SHIT AND THAT INCLUDES COMMERCIALS WOOOWW

 Are you fucking with me???

Wow… okay.. noted… pray for anyone named Mike on SVU

(but is he actually dead..  or is this gonna be a witsec thing?)

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE HIM DAMMIT

Oscar’s got mommy issues… that checks

Okay well they prosecuted him for murder so… duarte’s dead… wow..

Her new apartment is gorgeous

Did we really have to go all dutch tilt for this scene?

LOOOOOLLL omg that promo had y’all fucking freaking your shit out and it turned into nothing. God bless. So proud of liv for saying no, that she can’t. like, not only did unstabler bring it up at a time that she was probably hella vulnerable, feeling the relief that she/noah were finally safe, like that’s gonna have her releasing emotions she didn’t even realize she was feeling. And then on top of that, someone, a friend.. a flirtatious friend maybe? Coworker? The SECOND person she’d worked closely with named mike be murdered a moment after she left their side, holds herself responsible. Like that is NOT the time to try to fucking kiss her my man. That is the time to wrap her in a hug, tell her that things will eventually be okay and let her cry into your shoulder, a light kiss on the head at most. Jfc. Read the room.

circling back to duarte.. they SERIOUSLY couldn't bother paying molly for like a half day of work to be in the waiting room? he was her captain.. she would be there...

ANYWAYS.

Uh,… CME summary?

Episode was meh. Like literally meh. I have basically zero good or bad points about it. AJ’s kids are so grown up now. JJ looks hot af as usual, and gay af, like the reboot really said “okay, jj is also gonna be secretly gay, don’t tell will”. Sick of the will they wont they with will being sick/dying, lets not tease this shit anymore. Also sick of the wardrobe dept giving Prentiss the exact same shirt in like 4 diff colours to wear and that’s it. Also please let Emily say fuck again. Also JJ. And Tara. Let the women swear pls. it’s not fair Rossi got the first like.. three… let’s hope next week is better!

[clairecrive]

Billy idea that I have no time to write myself loool: reader and Billy are friends with benefits. Reader is happy with the arrangement and knows Billy is sleeping with other women but she doesn't care. It's not serious with them. Billy however hadn't really thought about Reader sleeping with other people and he finds out. Maybe from friends (Frank, Curtis and Karen because hello AU) or maybe all of them are out at a bar and he sees her go home with someone else? But he gets suuuuper jealous about it and realises he wants more. I'll leave it up to you if Reader wants more too. Angsty jealous Billy though, am I right? Lmaooo (this is faulty-coding btw, hello 🖤)

"Commitment"

A/N: omg hi! I love your work so much I feel incredibly honoured that you chose me for this request! I hope you like it x This is also for this anon, I've combined the two requests since they were similar.

Warnings: angst, jealousy, slut-shaming, hurt-comfort, smut at the end

Word count: 3K +

Tags:@blackst0nes7077, @thefictionalgemini, @tarkanelima-blog

@pansysgirlfriend, @acciorudolphx @supernaturalcat7, @crazyclownchick (I don't know why it won't let me tag you)

To add yourself to my taglist, fill in this form.

NAVIGATION PAGE

"Hey, stranger." A familiar voice and then his familiar touch on your back before he sat in front of you.

"Hi, Billy."

"it's been a while," he mentioned casually while his eyes took you in.

It had been more than a while, actually. Last time you saw Billy had been over a week ago. Well, you hadn't really seen him, that was the problem.

Ever since you had started your "agreement" you'd drop by his office from time to time to surprise him. He had told you that he deeply enjoyed office sex while you had never had it. Needless to say, it soon became one of your favourite things.

And that was why that day, you were at Anvil. You hadn't told Billy that you were coming. It wouldn't have been a surprise then, would it? However, when you stepped in front of his door, just one touch away from opening it, you heard it.

Well, heard her actually.

It was Billy that ended up surprising you that day. You usually loved surprises but that one you would have gladly skipped.

Although it had taken you most of a week to come to this realisation, you realized that it was actually a good thing to happen. The thing you had with Billy wasn't labelled. It was fun but it wasn't serious. Despite the fact that you were friends and hang out with the same group, you had never committed to each other.

And you were honestly fine with it. You enjoyed your time with Billy, outside and under the sheets.

It had been months though and you hadn't wanted to acknowledge it but it wasn't enough anymore. Billy's role in your life was ambiguous. He was your friend sure, but one you'd have sex with. He wasn't your boyfriend but he was the one you'd spend the most of your time with, the one with whom you were intimate.

You wanted more, you realized. Enough with these half measures.

Billy will understand, you told yourself. He inwardly made it clear where he stands. Time to broaden your horizons.

And, as matter of fact, you had. It was true that the ocean is full of fish but you hadn't had a lot of luck with them before. Sure, Jake was nice. He was polite and nice. An overall good guy.

He was just lacking a... je ne sais quoi that made you unsure about it. But you were willing to give him a chance and so you kept going on dates with him.

Needless to say, you hadn't spoken to Billy since that impromptu visit to his office.

"Been busy," you offered him taking a sip of your beer. It was a lame excuse but you couldn't care less. Karen offered you some appetizers. You stared at them for a bit before shaking your head refusing them. Ignoring Karen's questioning look, you took another sip.

"Yeah, she's been busy alright." Frank's low chuckle came from the other end of the table.

"Meaning?" Billy asked, now curious about the implication seeing how your cheeks had suddenly turned red.

"She met someone," Karen chirped in, winking in your direction.

Mentally facepalming you, you swore them off. It wasn't the way you wanted Billy to find out. Not that you cared what he thought since he couldn't be bothered to be as transparent with you, but still. You hated being put on the spot.

"Has she now?" Billy's eyebrow arched and he gave you an amused look. But his jaw clenched and that gave him away.

"Not that it's any of your business. But yes, I have. His name's Jake, he's a nice guy." You explained briefly, ignoring the intensity of his stare.

"So you're that kind of person then." Leaning over the table, his voice took an edge he had never directed at you. "Ditching her friends as soon as she meets a guy?"

"You know that's not true." Narrowing your eyes at him you were almost offended by his institution if it wasn't for the fact that you knew that it was his bruised ego speaking.

"Tell that to my many unanswered calls on your phone."

"That's not on Jake," you scoffed taking a sip. His eyebrow arched while his hands gestured to you as if to say "do tell".

"Let's just say that I saw firsthand just how busy you keep yourself when I'm not around." You tried to keep the bitterness out of your voice, you really did. But without success.

Billy's lips pursed in thought. You had no doubt that he had an inkling about what you meant but he couldn't figure out to what exactly you were referring to.

"So is this what it is? You being petty because I've been with someone else?"

"That's me wanting more for myself and taking it."

"If you were that insatiable, y/n, you should have just told me."

"Stop making me sound like a slut, Billy. That is not what this is about."

"Isn't it? Because that's exactly what this looks like to me."

Pursing your lips, you refused to show him just how much he had hurt you. Nodding your head you decided that you'd had enough. You did not have to sit here and take his bullshit.

"You know, Billy. Slut-shaming isn't a good look on you." Waving to your friends, you quickly told them that you had to go. An emergency you said. But they knew better, their eyes fixed on Billy as he watched you walk out of the bar. Hands tightening around the bottle of beer he had ordered, he stood up once you disappeared amongst the crowd.

Without bothering to explain himself to the group, he simply followed you outside.

"Y/n." He called your name once he saw that you were already a bit far from the bar. In a couple of quick strides, Billy had gotten to you since you had slowed down.

"Go away, Billy." you didn't bother to look at him.

"Wait, wait," he said gently taking hold of your arm to get you to stop. And you did but stared at his hand on you until he dropped it and took a step back. "Look I'm sorry, I was an asshole." he apologised.

You only nodded to show him that you understood him but didn't offer any words to assure him that you forgave him.

"And I'm sorry you had to find out about Madani that way." He added hoping to make things right between you.

"Don't worry, it was actually an awakening for me." You added briefly looking at him. Tone harsh and unapologetic. You were still too mad at him to care about being considerate of your voice.

"Really?"

"Yeah, it made me realize that this," you gestured between the two of you, "was not working out for me."

"Oh really?" now the word had lost every tint of disbelief it had before. It was more like he was challenging you. Like he didn't quite believe you.

"Yes." you stood your ground pushing your shoulders back, "I figured out that I want more. And I know that I'm not going to get that from you."

"It was good while it lasted though," you called over your shoulders as you turned, ready to get the hell away from him. But the words he said though, made you halt on your feet.

"Who said you're not going to get that with me?"

"That would require feeling something for me other than lust, Billy." you snicked not fully turning around to face him, just your head.

"Who says I don't?"

"Madani, maybe?"

"She doesn't mean anything, y/n." He scoffed rolling his eyes.

"Of course you'd say something like this, Billy. Doesn't help though." As if him admitting to having meaningless sex with other women could help his case. Men. Fully done with this conversation you gave him one last look before turning away again.

"I know why you didn't eat those appetizers before." Again, after a few steps, his voice made you stop. This time, the implication of what he meant, sat heavily on your shoulders making you tense. Still, you didn't turn around.

That didn't deter him though.

"I know that you love them but they remind you of your grandfather. He used to make sure there would always be some of those at home whenever you went to visit him. And I know you haven't eaten them since-"

He stopped when your head whipping to him, eyes glaring.

He was right. You knew it, he knew it. But him strumentalising your beloved grandfather's death to get through to you? That was low, even for Billy.

Not only it called for you to acknowledge out loud that your grandfather wasn't there anymore but it also surprised you because you didn't think anyone would notice something so small.

"What are you saying, Billy?" Eyes glossy, like everything someone mentioned him, you tried your best to not let your voice waver.

"What I'm saying is that I care about you, y/n. I care enough to notice things. The tiniest details that you don't even know are there. Like that every time you're reading and something bad happens, you press your hand on your chest over your heart, as if you wanted to stop the pain from coming or something. Or that you always cook whenever you miss your family even if you never say it out loud. Or-"

"I get it Billy." you raised a hand to stop him. "You're observant. I knew that. That's basically what you do for a living. Not counting that you're a fucking sniper."

"Maybe," he conceded slowly taking a step in your direction, "I notice things, that's true. That doesn't mean that I store them in my mind, though."

"I care about you, y/n. A great deal. Enough to notice all the little things that make you you and enough to memorize them."

"I don't know if I can believe you, Billy. If you cared you wouldn't be going around sleeping with other women. And I know-" you added when you saw his mouth open to protest- " I know that technically we weren't together but still Billy. A technicality is not going to earn you my trust." Shrugging your shoulders you opted for being honest with him. You had never lied to him and you certainly weren't going to start now. Billy had never lied to you either, not that you were aware. And even if this thought should have reassured you, you were still hesitant about believing him.

"Then give me a chance to do so. Let me prove to you just how much I care about you and how little I care about everything else." He insisted, taking another step and then another until he was in front of you. Hands on your jaw, he delicately craned your neck so that your eyes could meet.

The height difference had always been a reason for jokes among you. It was no secret that Billy had a slight size kink, at least not to you, and so more often than not he'd use that.

Thumb slowly caressing your jaw, his eyes flickered between yours. They were full of hope, of promises but there was also a lot of vulnerability. Billy was not the type to be so forthcoming about his feelings. The fact that he had been with you, on a side street nonetheless, was a demonstration on its own.

Sighing, you knew you needed to decide. Yes, hearing Billy having sex with another woman had hurt you but you were not together. While that didn't make it hurt any less, it made the situation slightly less grave. He hadn't cheated on you, not really. You hadn't told him you wanted more. Hell, before that you didn't even know that you wanted more.

And now that you knew, now that he knew as well, here he was promising it to you. He wanted to give you exactly what you wanted. So could you really say no to him?

Of course not.

"Alright."

"Yeah?" a big smile grew on his face, his eyes twinkling in joy.

"Yeah, I'm going to give you a chance. Only one, Billy. So you better not mess this up." Poking his chest with a finger you warned him that this time around, things were going to be different.

"You're not going to regret that, babe." His eyes held a solemn promise. Just briefly though because soon, they were back to their usual mischief. Billy leaned to you, his lips meeting yours in a small kiss.

At first.

He kissed you soundly, his mouth perfectly on yours, building his tempo slowly. Then, you felt his tongue on your lower lip and you knew that things were about to escalate quickly.

Not that you minded of course, but it was not appropriate to do what you had in mind in the middle of the street.

"Billy," you moaned slightly leaning back to warn him that you couldn't get too carried away.

"Call that Jim guy," his mouth peppered small kisses along your jaw, "tell him that it's over. That he never stood a chance," he moved down on your neck.

"Yes."

"Let's go home so that I can show you how much more I can give you."His mouth had trailed back up and stopped so that it was hovering over your ear. His voice was low and breathy and husky and fuck it sent a wave of pleasure right in between your legs.

------

No sooner had you stepped over your threshold than Billy's hands were on you. The door barely closed, he pushed you against it. His hands cradled your face, effectively keeping you holding you in place while his mouth ravished you.

You gladly let him do as he pleased. Mouth opening to welcome his tongue while your hands gripped his jacket to keep you steady.

"Billy," you whimpered his name as his lips left yours. You tried to follow them by getting on your tiptoes but he didn't let you. Chuckling, he gave you another small kiss.

"Yes. Remember that it's me that it's making you feel this good. Me. Not Jim or whatever his name is, not anyone else. Me." He growled on your lips while one of his hands gripped the hair at the nape of your neck making you gasp.

Staring at his glowing dark pits you couldn't do anything other than nodding feverishly. You were at his mercy. Completely. And Billy knew that and it did nothing but please him to no end.

You'd always enjoyed whenever Billy was rough with you but him being jealous and kinda possessive too? Game changer.

Smirking at your reaction, his hands moved lower on your body until they hatched behind your knees pulling you up. Biting your lower lip, he swallowed your whimper for the friction once you wrapped your legs around his waist.

Billy didn't waste any more time, in quick long strides he was in your bedroom and threw you on the bed. You'd almost giggled when you bounced on it if it wasn't for the savage look in Billy's eyes.

Fuck, he looked so sexy. A sin.

For a moment, he just stared at you laid there waiting for him. A hand quickly wiped his face before he unbuckled his pants. Now it was your turn to stare at him. More like ogle but you knew he didn't mind.

Shedding his pants, he crawled over you until his face levelled yours.

"I'm going to give you exactly what you want. And then some more." He promised, nipping your earlobe. "You're never going to feel the need to look for other guys."

"There's no one else I'd rather be with, Billy."

Your hands trailed over his still clothed back before tangling his always perfectly styled hair. "Only you." You whispered in his ear.

If it wasn't for your hand on his back, you would have missed him tensing. "Say it again," he demanded, his head still in the crook of your neck.

"You're the only one I want, Billy." You repeated knowing fully well how he struggled with accepting love and affection. This meant to him just as much as it did to you. He was giving you the promise of commitment but so were you. And despite the fact that you had already been loyal to him, you knew how important it was for him to hear the words.

"There's no one else for me either, y/n. Never was, never will be." He raised his head to say this. It was a confirmation, yes, but it also felt so much more coming from him.

He had been telling you how much he cared about you since you left the bar but somehow, him saying it again now held more meaning.

"You promise?"

You felt childish and it was probably pathetic of you to ask him again. But this was you being vulnerable, letting him know that you needed him. And you trusted Billy.

"You're mine." He said instead. One of his hands coming to cradle the back of your head while the other closed around your right breast.

"And I'm yours."

And here it was, the promise, the reassurance you needed. His lips met yours in a bruising kiss. It was wet and more teeth and tongue than anything but it was passionate. You were claiming each other.

Not separating your lips, he used his hands to get rid of your clothes. While he unbuckled your pants, you took his shirt off. Him doing the same with yours while you pushed his brief down on his legs.

Once you were completely naked, Billy crawled back over you. His hands resting at the sides of your head. He was everywhere. You could feel him between your legs, your arms wrapped around his back, your vision field occupied by his beautiful face.

He was everywhere, he was everything.

"And now, I'm going to leave no room for doubt in your mind anymore." He whispered on your lips, his cock rubbing over your slit teasing you about what was to come.

You had asked him for a commitment and fuck if he didn't commit to it. All night long.