#but I do not want to be perceived (ever but especially at the gym) so it’s like a minefield | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

extrovedteen · 11 months ago

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WAIT Y/N! Quick Note: For those of you that saw ‘chapter one’ I decided to just break it down into individual parts all based on NEP’s PUP EP because I’m obsessed and it gives me hardcore Colby vibes so for all of us Colby Brock girls, this ones for us!

Warning: SMUT , FLUFF and everything in between. Enjoy my lovelies, if we like this I may do a Kit Connor one afterwards!

PART 1: FENDER (COLBY BROCK x READER)

“I really like it when you scream, I really like when you do not hurt me, I really like the way I look up at you and somehow you look down on me kindly.”

"You're not meant for that side of YouTube!" your manager yelled at you through the phone.

"It's what I want to do, I'm not interested in-" you started, trying to be heard.

"You're not doing it!" Your manager said sternly, you felt your heart break, as you knew you weren't in control of your own carer and if you wanted to continue this life, you had to stay a lifestyle guru.

You woke up in a hot sweat, a squeal escaping your lips before you fully woke up and understood that it was just a dream, your subconscious coming through.

"Hey guys, what's up! It's Y/N!" You spoke into your camera, you had just bought a brand new Cannon EOS R5. You had been with Cannon since your dad had bought you your very own Cannon EOS 5DS for your 16 birthday, when it all began. "And Happy Vlogmas Day 1!" You grinned from ear to ear, you were now 22 and vlogmas was the only thing you still truly loved about being a lifestyle guru. "Today we're hanging out with Adelaine Morin, we're going to go to the gym, our personal trainer is waiting for us, somehow we're always late." You laughed into the camera, you felt so fake.

Kris: we should have a sleep over tonight!

You had become close friends with Kris and Celina in the last few years of your career, they were the only ones that truly knew what you wanted to do on YouTube and about your gift

Ever since you remembered you had the gift of clairsentience (noun. the ability to perceive emotional or psychic energy that is imperceptible to the five standard senses.) and therefore you wanted to explore with this gift as it was only getting stronger as you were getting older, but your fan base was with you for lifestyle content and not paranormal investigations. You were worried about losing your fan base if you had a change, so you never did.

You had met Kris and Celina at a Tik-Tok event and the three of you had become inseparable ever since, and you loved spending time together however they knew that they had to hide you in their videos so you'd always be there, but nobody would know.

Celina: At Y/N's? I'll bring crumble!

You smiled at your phone, but then frowned as you knew it was vlogmas and that you needed that time to create content, during Vlogmas it was hard to keep up the double life, so you replied with

Y/N: I truly wish I could, but it's Vlogmas :( and I really need the time to create content.

Kris: Oh, yeah I forgot. It's understandable, but we'll really miss you this month.

Celina: you should just tell your fans the truth, I'm sure they'd understand and be really excited for the new content.

You had wished that it would be like that, but you knew otherwise, you had seen one person who was truly successful at a whole new brand change which was Taylor Swift, and you were no Taylor Swift. Instead you were Miley Cyrus, living a double life.

Y/N: guys unfortunately I'm no Taylor Swift... instead I'm a Miley Cyrus...

Kris: YOU GET THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!! 👩‍🎤

Celina: CHILL IT OUT, TAKE IT SLOW!

Y/N: THEN YOU ROCK OUT THE SHOW!

You chuckled as you replied, no matter how much you truly cherished your friendships with the other lifestyle guru's especially Adelaine you knew you only truly fit in with Kris and Celina, they made you feel welcomed, they made you laugh and you could always be your truest self without being judged.

Y/N: I have to go! I have the gym this morning, but I'll talk to you guys later

You added to the chat and headed off to pick up Adelaine in your yellow Tesla, your dream car. You picked up Adelaine and the two of you went to grab something for breakfast from Starbucks before heading to the GYM.

"I just picked up Adelaine and we grabbed some Starbucks for breakfast, I got the egg bites and an iced matcha." You said, shaking your drink as you took a sip, your Tesla driving for you. "So good!" You grinned, Adelaine then shared what she got as well before you both said "and now we're on our way to the gym!"

Cut to the gym, it was leg day for you and so your PT talked you through that and you captured as much footage as possible before the session was over. After the gym, you and Adelaine went shopping to target to do some Christmas shopping and found something you knew that Kris would die for and so you recorded yourself putting into in the trolley, as a part of your footage for the day when your phone pinged.

Celina: Sam and Colby are coming to mine, we're filming a video on my haunted house.

As soon as you saw the names of the boys you wished you could go, Sam and Colby you had met them a handful of times as you were in their friend groups and would go to the same parties, you still remembered the first time you had never met Colby as clear as day. You glanced at him from across the room only to see him already looking down on you kindly, it made your breath hitch and your heart flutter. He walked over to you, it was an open mic tik-tok event and he was going to sing his song ‘Skin’ you also sang every now and again, but what influencer didn’t really. You knew how to play the bass and so when you noticed him holding his bass, you walked over to him confidently.

‘Nice Bass, It looks really expensive. I’m Y/N.” You introduced yourself, holding your hand out. He took your hand and kissed the back of it.

‘Colby.’ He replied before smirking up at you ‘Do you know how to play?’ He asked you.

‘Yeah, a little.’ You replied, feeling cheeky. He took his bass off and placed it over you.

‘Back straight, chest out.’ He instructed, you followed his instructions.

‘You lied bunny, you’re good’ He grinned, his breath on your neck as he stood behind you.

‘I know, I was just messing with you.’ You laughed, feeling the tension in the air of him standing behind you and obviously flirting with you.

‘No, say it.’ He said sternly, he very much had dominate energy and you couldn’t help but blush.

‘Say what?’ You asked, confused.

‘Say that you’re good.’ He continued.

‘Okay, I’m good.’ You admitted, turning around and looking into his eyes trying to make him feel just as intimidated.

‘Good Girl.’ He said looking into your eyes, he definitely wasn’t the littlest bit intimidated and he took his bass back before walking out on stage.

You still remembered everything he ‘taught you that night’ even how surprised he was when you played for him and found out how good you were.

You blushed, thinking about it until Adelaine’s voice bought you out of it. ‘Y/N!’ She spoke loudly before waving her hand in your face. ‘What are you thinking about that’s got your face all red? Wait! Is it a guy? Finally!’ She grinned. ‘WHO? Who is it?’ She asked, excited. She had been waiting for you to get into a relationship since you guys had met seven years ago, you had never had a boyfriend before.

‘Nobody.’ You laughed, your phone pinging again.

‘Is that him?’ She asked, reaching for your phone and you instantly became scared of her seeing who was messaging you so you shoved your phone into your pocket.

‘Don’t.’ You said sternly. She was surprised but that but dropped the conversation not wanting to upset you further.

‘Who is that for anyway?’ She asked you, looking into your trolley. ‘Just a friend from back home’ You lied. You hated lying to your best friend of seven years but your fear was far too strong and you knew you needed to keep the two lives separate, if you ever felt the courage to change your carer she would be the first to know, other then those from that other life.

Kris: Count me in!

You sighed, reading the message that had come through

Y/N: Have fun guys!

was all you could say, knowing your fans were counting on you getting enough footage each day for vlogmas. Instead of counting down to Christmas you were counting down the days until you could finally spend time with your best friends and see the boy that you had a crush on, not a crush- you just thought he was cute- or annoying.

Kris: Colby is talking about you!

Celina: He asked where you are AH

Y/N: Guys, he’s probably just used to me being with you guys and helping you paranormal investigate because I have a gift.

Celina: Yeah and because he probably wants to give you a gift ;)

Kris: BOO YEAH! GOOD ONE.

You just laughed at your best friend’s messages, shaking your head as you sighed, stretched and finished editing the thumbnail as you had already sent off the footage to your editor. By the time you were done it was 12:00AM and you knew they could possibly still be filming.

Y/N: I’m finally done! Be proud.

Kris: We’re so proud of you, beautiful. We’re almost done filming, we’re just about to do some rituals to close.

Celina: Get over here RIGHT NOW! Sam and Colby are staying the night.

You read the messages, and although you were tired 5 minutes ago you were wide awake.

Y/N: Lifestyle guru by day, paranormal investigator by night! I’m on my way!

You replied, getting up of the couch grabbing an energy drink out of the fridge and grabbing your car keys as you walked out the door, you got into your Tesla and drove to Celina’s house, your makeup was still done from earlier that day and you were wearing a tight black dress with a cut in the front exposing skin, you paired it with a leather jacket as it was winter and you’d be filming outside but you wanted to show off your brand new dress.

You got there 45 minutes later as Celina lived in a secluded area the time now reading 12:45AM. You took a few seconds to pull yourself together knowing that you truly had a crush on Colby Brock, no matter how hard you tried to deny it.

“Ello, Ello!” You called out, walking up to the door as you automatically felt goosebumps and the hairs on your skin prick up.

“Y/N!” Kris ran to the door and twirled you around before putting you back down.

“Come into my lair!” Celina said in her demon voice making you all laugh as per usual, dragging you inside. As soon as you stepped inside your eyes automatically looked for Colby’s as your heart fluttered.

“Hey Sam” You smiled, before looking back at Colby “Colby” you added.

“Bunny.” Colby replied, Sam walking over to you to give you a hug “Long time no see” Sam said with a grin.

“I can’t believe you guys wanted for me, I can’t even be in any of the footage.” You stated, feeling disappointed in yourself.

“We just enjoy your company, plus we always know we’re on the right path when you’re here because of your gift.” Colby said, looking at you with the kindest eyes.

You just smiled and nodded before you turned out of the frame and let them continue their filming, all of you walking towards the outdoor cabin, them filling you in on what you had missed.

“We’re going to play this game, it’s basically a ritual. It’s called the corner game.’ Sam started explaining. ‘So basically the idea of the game is to use all of our energy to summon said thing we want to talk to into the space that we’re here.’ He finished before adding on that the whole point of the night was to try and get rid of Elias. You instantly felt the negative energy and knew that it was Elias. “He doesn’t like that.” You said, Colby standing next to you out of the frame but recording Sam speaking. He instantly looked at you, and could tell that you were feeling uneasy.

“It’s summoning him right?” Colby asked and Sam replied “Summoning him into our space.” You nodded your head before Colby assured all of you that they had a plan and not to worry, you took their word for it and you all started the ritual.

Whilst you all undertook the summoning ritual, you were the last in, after Colby so that it would be easier to edit your voice out.

“Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!” You chose your corner and instantly felt Elias’ in the cabin with you, the uneasy feeling following you, you chose your corner and then the ritual went on, the energy just getting worse and worse.

“Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!” You said lastly, walking out of the door and closing it behind you, however Colby needing to go back and close the door so you weren’t in the video.

As soon as you were all out, you started to fall over feeling the negative powerful energy consume you, it was a downside of your gift. Colby caught you “You okay, bunny?” He asked you, worried. You sat down and nodded

“He’s definitely here.” You told your friends. Your friends stood up and started to film themselves using the Alice box hearing ‘Here’ come through which only proved your gift further, Colby was so turned on by your gift, he truly thought it was incredible.

You all filmed the last part of the video which was the banishing ritual, and by the end of it you truly didn’t feel his presence anymore, the video was complete and filming wrapped.

“Your gift is incredible” Colby said looking at you, everyone else agreeing.

“The way that you said ‘He’s definitely here’ and then the Alice box said ‘here’ that’s so crazy.” Sam added.

“Thanks guys, well in good news I don’t feel him anymore.” You assured them.

“Thank you.” Celina said thanking everyone. “It’s getting late.” Celina said, looking at her phone as you all walked back into the house, It was now 2AM.

“We should all get the bed, and we’ll hangout tomorrow morning?” Kris asked, everyone agreeing.

“Is there anywhere for me to sleep?” You asked, not really wanting to drive another 45 minutes home.

“Of course! We were thinking maybe You and Colby could share the cabin?” Celina asked, Kris’ eyebrows raising as a small chuckle left her mouth.

“What’s funny?” You asked, obviously knowing what they were implying, everyone could feel the sexual tension between the two of you although you’d both always deny it.

“Nothing.” Kris said, “It’s just probably less scary with you there due to your gift” She said, saving herself.

“Nice save” You laughed.

“I don’t mind, bunny.” Colby said, using that nickname that he knew made you swoon.

“Okay, then neither do I.” You said, daring.

“Well, goodnight.” Kris smiled, giving you a hug and walking inside. Celina and Sam following her inside, after Celina also gave you a hug.

You just looked up at Colby before twirling, showing of your brand new dress. “I guess your stuck with me” You said meeting his eyes that were looking down on you kindly, every time.

“I don’t mind that” He admitted, the two of you walking into the Cabin.

It was now 3:30AM and the two of you still weren’t asleep, you had gotten cold and so he gave you his sweater which was apart of the new XPLR merch, it was the purple ‘busy fighting demons’ sweater, you had been wanting one and now you had one and it smelt like Colby. However it fit you terribly but it was okay because you felt all cute and chic. You hadn’t spoken much to each other, only stealing glances when you’d look up from your phones. You were sleeping head to toe together in bed, and occasionally you could feel his leg touch yours and you weren’t sure if it was on purpose or because of the way you sit in the single bed together.

“I’m starving, I didn’t eat dinner.” You admitted.

“No dinner, bunny?” You asked, again that nickname made your heart flutter, although it was the only thing he called you, it always caught you off guard.

You pouted. “Unfortunately not, I was so busy with my daily footage.” You admitted. “I only had breakfast earlier before the gym.”

“There is a McDonald’s 25 minutes away.” He asked, looking at the maps on his phone. “Come on, my shout” He said and you were too hungry to disagree so you followed him out of the door.

25 minutes later you both arrived at the McDonald’s and ordered your food, Colby parked in the parking lot and you both got out and sat in his trunk which had a lot of space in the back. You ate your food and talked about life, just getting to know each other and it was obvious that you both liked each other.

“You have sauce” He said, rubbing his thumb under your lip. You both looked into each other’s eyes “Your eyes are so beautiful.” He admitted, you gulped before the two of you knew it your lips were crashing together as you kissed each other passionately. You bit his bottom lip and giggled. “You’re so beautiful.” He added before you both hid in the trunk, you were pretzeling your legs as you fell back into the trunk, you both had so many tattoos and you couldn’t help but admire his.

You wanted to take things slow, but the sexual tension was so strong that your legs instantly wrapped around his waist, dragging him down on top of you and the two of you started making out again. “Colby” You said, biting his bottom lip again, driving him crazy. “Bunny” he whispered into your ear, as his hands rubbed down your sides “Can I?” He asked, his hand meeting the top of your panties, he was asking for consent to put his hands inside your panties which made you admire him even more, you nodded your head as you nuzzled your head into his neck, biting his neck and leaving little love bites. “You’re driving me crazy” he admitted, but you already knew you were. His hands found your clit through your panties and he started to rub against it, making you wet. You had never been with anyone else so this was your first time, you didn’t want to ruin the moment so you didn’t tell him that.

“What do you want to do?” He asked you, before your hands were also in his pants, rubbing his hard on.

“I want something baby” you replied before whispering “guess” in his ear.

When you assured him that’s what you wanted, he started to undress you, taking off your dress, leaving you in your underwear. His hands making their way inside your panties as his fingers found their way inside, still rubbing your clit. You started to moan softly into his ear.

“Fuck, Bunny you feel so tight.” He spoke dominantly. You instantly knew it was because you were a virgin, you had always dreamed of losing your virginity to your soulmate because you believed in that type of stuff but you wanted him more than you had ever wanted anyone.

Your hands unbuckled his belt and you pulled his pants down, him helping you with this before your hands started to jerk him off. He moved you on top of him, so you were sitting on his face as he fingered you and ate you out moaning while he did so. “You taste so good” He assured you.

You started to suck his cock, jerking him off while your mouth is around him, this making him scream enjoying it so much. He would have never guessed that you were a virgin. Soon your breath was hitched as he started to pump two fingers inside of you, you now understood why everyone enjoyed sex.

You started to experience your first orgasm, feeling his tongue against your clit, rubbing it as fast as he could.

Whilst he did this, you continued to suck him off, licking in between his tip, focusing on the side. “Fuck!” He groaned as you both started cumming together.

You laid down next to him after this, looking up at him. “Good Girl” he whispered, kissing the top of your head. You really like it when he didn’t hurt you.

You started to trace his tattoos, “How many do you have?” You asked him. “11” He told you before the two of you fell asleep in the trunk.

Ending Note: AYO that was good, I think? What did you guys think? Next SONG will be PUP!

#colby brock #sam and colby #angst #fluff #smut #youtube #kris collins #celinaspookyboo #Spotify #colby brock x reader #spotify

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lyzelky · 3 months ago

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Writer Interview Game

Tagged by @gilded-glitter!! Kissing u

When did you start writing?

I remember getting pissed off about the writing choices in the Pokemon Anime when I was about 8 or 9, and I came to the realization that I could write my own story featuring my own Pokemon Trainer and handle the story the ✨right ✨ way (lol). From there I started filling up several dozen school composition notebooks until several years later I realized I could write on my ipod touch and save myself the trouble.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I'll read just about anything as long as it interests me, but I think the genre I enjoy least is sci-fi? I don't hate it, but it just doesn't have that strong enough of an appeal to me, though I do like when people get goofy with it (Doctor Who, some episodes of DS9, etc.) I love a good mystery/period piece though, and I while I enjoy writing it, whether or not I'm any good at it is another matter entirely. If there is a procedural detective show with a will-they-wont-they pair of leads, chances are I've seen it.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

Oh jeez, well, I've never published fic before so I don't think I have ever been compared to anyone else, but an english teacher I had in high school once complimented me on have a "unique voice" in my writing, and I still think about it from time to time. As for writers I admire? Off the top of my head: Toni Morrison, Norman Maclean, Cormac McCarthy, and Tolkien.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space? I write primarily on my phone, so I don't really have a dedicated space. I used Pages primarily but I kept running into issues with lag, so I recently switched over to Scrivener on my phone. As for where I write I either do so at my desk or in bed, or on long train rides. The good thing about writing on my phone is that if I have a sudden burst of inspiration and have the time, I can write almost anywhere.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Music, especially with long train or car rides. Staring out the window at scenery with music often gets my imagination going. Long walks work too, especially if I'm on the treadmill at the gym and can zone out without worrying about walking into oncoming traffic lol. Other than that, ideas often come to me just as I am drifting off to sleep.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Found family, prophecies, newfound/hidden powers, finding purpose, feeling like an outsider. These don't really surprise me, I was always kind of a weird kid and am now a weird adult, with the pervasive feeling of "not belonging" a constant throughout my youth. This isn't to say I don't have friends and family that I love, and am certain love me back, but I've always been a little awkward in most social settings, regardless of the context.

What is your reason for writing?

I have a very active imagination that probably borders on maladaptive dreaming, but writing and art create a healthier outlet to channel that into.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Basically anything vaguely positive or encouraging is enough to make me blush.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Honestly I don't even know, I hope they think I'm moderately cool? I have never been perceived through the lens of my writing before, only my art.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

World building and character development!

How do you feel about your own writing?

Pretty shy, I am always mildly concerned that my stuff is too trope-y or whatever, and other times I re-read what I wrote and go "hey, that's pretty good!".

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I would say 99% of what I write is my own OC stuff that I never plan to make public, so I'd say I write mostly for myself. That being said, I do think people would enjoy certain aspects of my OC stuff, it's just way too jumbled for anyone but myself to make any sense of it at this point in time.

Tagging whoever wants to join in on this!

#ask #writing

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stormblessed95 · 2 years ago

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Hey there! I hope you’re having a great start to your weekend! Wanted to get your thoughts on why you think JK has gone completely radio silent ? My personal thoughts are that he is just done right now with the level of toxicity out there over every little move he makes. I feel like he’s in protective of mode of himself, Jimin, and the other members. I can’t even imagine being under that big of a microscope with so many just waiting to pounce the moment he says/does/posts something. He’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. It’s got to be crushing not to be able to show his support for the members, especially Jimin, publicly. It makes me so sad. He’s always been so vocal with his actions about his feelings for him 💜💜He’s such a good guy, a kind and caring soul. I know sometimes he appears aloof and spaced out but I don’t think this is one of those times. If he felt he could post without causing distress (because of haters) to Jimin I think he would do it in a heartbeat 💜

Hi! I know you are new. So I'm not going to get into a ton of everything your said. You weren't here, so you won't recongize the pattern. But both JK and Jimin have been the least active members on social media since 2019. When they first started their official Instagrams, JK had a lot of fun playing with the new app, especially using it to connect with ARMYs and keep entertained during all of their times being quarantined. But otherwise he hasn't ever been super active. Jimin was pretty active pre 2019, but since then, has slowed down a lot. You could come up with a million theories as to why, including just, he has gotten older and it's not a priority at this point. JK was super active towards the end of 2022, as he was promoting his different activities and was garnering attention for it (different Collabs, Dreamers, etc). Jimin is now super active as he has been promoting his own stuff and making sure he keeps his name out there as his projects drop. Dior, W Korea, Vibe Collab and his new album coming soon. When it's JKs turn for album promotion, you'll start seeing him pop back up all over SM too. And when Jimins promotions are over, his presence on SM will slow back down too I'd bet. JK even said the last time we saw him on a live stream, that after he finishes up with Dreamers, he doesn't have much of a schedule or projects to focus on. So social media promotions aren't something he is going to worry about. And not being on social media is not the same thing as not showing your best friends support for what they are doing. I'm positive all the members have wished Jimin and Jhope well on their Paris trip and were super excited for them. No matter if a post was posted or not.

In 2017, Yoongi (who has taken to Instagram and loving it lately) was so avoidant of social media and their Twitter account that Jimin once even posted a photo of him saying "he's alive" since ARMY hadn't seen him in so long and Jimin saw lmfao

Basically, being absent from SM is not abnormal. And while we might miss them, it's not something worth theorizing over. It's normal, especially for JK, it's fine. It's something newer fans might not always remember as they showed up during a time where JK was making ARMYs question their sanity over how active he was being. Lol man basically barely posted at all in 2020. There are tweets from 2019 about how much ARMY misses JK but they understand his perceived "break from SM" that they assumed was a break since the man barely posted. Lol he posted a jikook selca once, a gym photo once, in 2021 he posted a monthly Selca and everyone was celebrating getting to see JK more than ever 😂

Basically I don't think he is worried about it either way, and therefore neither am I. I do miss him though! Just like I missed Jimin so much last year too! BTS solo careers and their presence online during them will be a new thing we have to get accustomed to I guess lol

#jikook #kookmin #jikook on social media

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funeraltwins · 6 months ago

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I don't want you to no no there's not there's a logical thing that possibly could have slipped it asleep in some of the way at the edit exchange it I'll go back and involve it already a little bit of a game changer and can't just go back and involve it already a little bit container and take it right here comes I'll let her read it a lot of gun danger and take a direct control from city ethelia's similar equations that hatred you're a smart and telephone I'll continue to especially if you aren't and ultimate enough excuses yes yes but supercraft's any reason on you eat it out here you can make it want yeah I'm easily the brain cells go to the gym and s*** it all over again keep on studying I'll ever get into the right teacher I'm pretty Italy

Be glad you're a bad case for sending someone around behind you in the background listen well s*** simple dictionary powder let's make your hole and that's supposed to keep that hell close little hands mind if you'll open up against stands and manage your original opinion we'll continue to stand now in long-term and it's the perceived overturns and it was yours mine is the domineer yours is the resource one closure hole second of all it can't be lucky about us you can't be your block of us you can't be possible at posts they cannot breathe both simposts and you definitely cannot do internet citizens anymore he was also released so I cannot be following me or spouting out until separate to Jerry childhotter plus me on indical intended in mind

Anybody if you of course and that's just a subject to some subterms that get inside yourself whatever you that's you have to be better by and following it all times elk's uses yes ends but supercrafts are needed to be or I'll interrupt all I'm thinking like a white but there is next year to Gray hair no associations no being bothered like it or not me brother flag at next month choose a science stupid lassie fall of an empty hotel supposedly what do you need your techniques I want internet the caramel or insecrament indeconment or is that common what comes and goes around and my goes and comes around therefore eagerly witch reply

Go fuck yourself

#go fuck yourself #ask

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anewbrother · 10 months ago

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What?

Freemasonry is a group of good men who come together to make good men into better men. As well as collecting conspiracy theories like a white shirt attracts red sauce. They also donate enormous amounts of money to charity, and have an impeccable sense of style. I'm an FtM man in my mid-thirties who is probably finished with the medical parts of my transition, I work in the community (meaning, my full-time job, my colleagues, all of our customers and most of the contractors are all queer), and I dabble in writing and painting and fibrecraft.

For convenience, I and everyone else will be pseudonymous, so get ready to meet Brother Dude, Brother Fellow, Senior Warden Tish and Junior Warden Tosh, Worshipful Brother Ignotus, Master of this Lodge, etc, as I set my left foot forward on the way to joining the Lodge Of Anonymity.

For now, I'm Chap, hopefully soon to be Brother Chap, Entered Apprentice, and eventually many years down the line Brother Chap, Master Mason.

Why?

A little bit of a lot of things. I want to have ritual in my life, which has meaning to other people and isn't just something that I do alone. I like the idea of knowledge being paced out over months and years and decades, rather than binged when the whim takes me, and of being knowledge which is attached to people, where someone teaches me and imparts their own ideas and nuances rather than just reading from a cold book. And related to that, I would love to have some formal moral instruction, to not constantly be poking at my ethical gag reflex alone to work out where the line lies between something that is morally wrong and something that just irks me. I want community, especially with people who aren't immediately similar to me, and paradoxically with people who share more literal landmarks with me - Having more friends who go to the local pubs, walk on the local lanes, shop at the local shops, rather than all my friends being a train ride away. I am hugely enthused by the idea of a place where I CAN NOT talk about politics, and anyone bringing up politics to me will be censured for it. I want to take on a responsibility that isn't life-or-death for my community, but that still feels more grounded in other people than my gym routine. Also, the Masons make better men, and I would love to be a better man.

So where are you now?

I'm not a Mason yet. I had my first meet and chats in November and will have my interview in February, and between November and now me and another few prospective new brothers have been coming down to the Lodge every other week to start to get to know the Brothers. I've been told to expect to be Entered around St George's Day if I pass the interview. But first... The interview, and I must admit I am nervous.

But Why Blog About It?

Because there's a lot of talk online about trans people. A lot of Masons in the States insisting both that no trans man would be able to have the character to become a Mason, and would always be blackballed even if their Grand Lodge technically admits them, and that no trans woman should ever be allowed to stay a Mason, because the simple fact of transitioning is unmasonic conduct.

But, the United Grand Lodge Of England says;

A candidate for admission to Freemasonry under UGLE must be a man. Should a person who has undergone gender reassignment and has become a man apply to become a Freemason then his application must be processed in the same way as for any other male candidate.

A Freemason who after initiation ceases to be a man does not cease to be a Freemason. We expect that Freemasons will act with compassion and sensitivity towards their fellow Freemasons.

We hope that no Freemason would engage in unwanted conduct relating to another Freemason’s actual or perceived gender reassignment or gender transition.

No candidate should be subjected to questions about their gender which could make them feel uncomfortable.

The full text is here, but the gist is: Trans people of all stripes are welcome in the Grand Lodge Of England, and being hostile towards them is unmasonic. https://www.ugle.org.uk/gender-reassignment-policy

There aren't many examples of trans Masons online, and all of the ones that I've seen have been already Master Masons before transition, so I thought I might as well share my experiences as they happen, for good or ill.

Also, if you are trans and a Mason, please drop me a message, I would love to have more Brothers and maybe we can visit each other if I pass the interview and am entered.

#Freemasonry #before the interview #blue lodge

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a-tale-of-legends · 2 years ago

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Legendverse Rivals Professions as of now:

Blue: Gym Leader, Battle Legend ( runs the battle tree) and " Part Time Professor"

Silver: Pokemon trainer and runs Johto's Battle Tower.

Wally: Takes Anabel's place as head of the tower tycoon.

Barry: Eventually becomes a tower tycoon like his father. Also kinda a professor's aid????? He found himself actually being invested in myths and such, and occasionally helps out Kiran and Cynthia with their research. Genuinely knows his stuff!

Cheren: Canonically a gym leader

Bianca: Ends up being a full fledged pokemon professor.

Hugh: Unovan champion and pokemon rehabilitator

N: Tbh? Not entirely sure? I generally imagine him living a #cottegecore life style with Kamari. That being said, I can see him doing some things. For one, working at a pokemon daycare fits him really well, or like Hugh, a pokemon rehabilitator. He also has the potential to be a pokemon professor- not entirely sure how he would feel about that, but I think he's qualified for it? Pokemon battles are still a thing for him, but not the main focus.

Shauna: Either a pokemon coordinator or showcase star- which ever is allowed in Kalos ( both have a very toxic space, so it's best that only one exists in Kalos), as well as a photographer.

Trevor: A professor's assistant! I do think he took the gym challenge at one point though, given how he mentioned he would do it if he wasn't focused on the Pokedex. I don't think he's particularly interested in being champion though.

Tierno: Like Shauna, possible a coordinator or showcase star. Again, there's some Legendverse lore on how I perceive contests and showcases but this seems like a really good fit for him. He probably even opened his own dance studio too!

No Calem/Serena cause they got replaced with ocs lol.

Hau: Either a kahuna or the champion. I haven't exactly decided on one. I can see a case for each of them, though.

Gladion: Alola Elite 4 member and potential aether foundation president. I say potential because in my au, Gladion isn't thrown into ownership of the Aether Foundation. I want him to be a kid and not handle such responsibility. That, and the fact that Gladion has some trauma of the place, and it wouldn't do him good to just go back there. He might in the future ( he's 22 by SV in my au, so it might be around the time he's considering taking up the mantle)

Lillie: I know she's not an actual rival, but I just wanted to add her lol. Like Gladion, she doesn't involve herself with the Aether Foundation for a long while. But I do see her potentially being a researcher there, as well as a pokemon trainer ( we know that one can be a pokemon trainer professionally).

Hop: Hopscotch <3. A pokemon professor, and works with the ranger guild in Galar. Occasionally goes out on the field for ranger work, but being a professor is his main occupation.

Marnie: A gym leader and fashion designer. She also does music, and would occasionally appear on her brothers band.

Bede: A gym leader and a stage actor, much like Opal( she's alive btw). He, too, dances, mostly ballet( he wears ballet shoes as a part of his gym uniform).

While the three aren't exactly rangers per say ( though Hop is like a professor for the rangers, I guess), but ever since they were established, they do work closely with them, especially Marnie and Bede, given how the routes to their respective towns can be....intense.

Nemona: Definitely becomes top champion. I mean. Come on.

Arven: A chef! Was pretty much stated in the games.

Penny: I can see her working in the leagues i.t department. I think that was said in the game? I don't remember lol.

And I think that's all of them! Whoop! Yada yada, they're subject to change blah blah blah, I hope you enjoyed them.

#r rambles #legendverse

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cosmic-cd · 1 year ago

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i need to get some pokemon thoughts out before i forget 'em, so don't mind me! hazel's galar run thoughts and headcanons ahead

so there's a lot of miscellaneous thoughts here but i'll try to keep it. a little more or less coherent?

before we get to galar, first thought iiis

i've had it be a thing for a while that hazel knows ingo & emmet, but other than her riding the trains in unova a lot ever since she was younger and ingo and emmet were working their way up the ranks to becoming the subway masters, i couldn't particularly think of a reason otherwise why she'd be close with them (to the point of going "oh they're like practically uncles to me")

but hazel is friends with the striaton bros. (seeing as the restaurant is just one route away, and hazel lives in accumula town, visiting striaton city frequently, especially to hang out in the dreamyard)

and, well.. one of my favorite areas in unova is Anville Town, and so-

hazel and cilan (via the anime-specific version of cilan's interest in trains. canon to me.) probably bonded over a mutual interest in trains, and similarly hazel would've probably gotten talking to ingo & emmet about the subway trains- i think it'd be cute if they all went trainspotting together in anville town on the weekends- as well as hazel riding the battle trains as she got more and more into pokemon battling

(and then seeing ingo later... earlier?? in hisui. would be a little more ouch)

anyways, galar thoughts and headcanons

1. this is more of a general headcanon, but i was thinking about it while listening to encounter themes- it'd be neat if trainers challenging each other to battles on routes was standardized- encounter themes are diagetic- like ringtones, whatever phone or device (i.e. x-transceiver, vs seeker, what have you) plays it when you cross paths with another trainer who's actively seeking battles, and said device displays current registered pokemon league information about that trainer

2. when hazel arrives in galar, leon ends up meeting her at the train station at the same time he's meeting with hop & gloria, and hazel has literally no clue who he is other than immediately developing a crush on the guy..... i think it'd be funny as an inverse of this if hop recognized hazel- not as just like, the girl who's staying in their family home's guest room while she's in the region, but also knowing her from watching her battles online (to which hazel has a horrified reaction due to Not Wanting To Be Perceived)

Hop: oh, your battles only have about 1,000 views each! pretty underrated if you ask me Hazel: a-- a thousand??? (urge to disappear into the woods until no one remembers she exists rising)

this is feasible to happen just because i think she might naturally develop a very small following due to. literally having a pikachu as her ace. and collecting gym badges and specifically never challenging the champion afterwards. which! i'm sure is a passtime other people have, but specifically sweeping gyms with a pikachu is a little funny

3. i feel like it'd be more authentic to the experience if hazel didn't know anybody in galar otherwise and nobody knew her- but also i realized sonia and bianca would make ADORABLE friends. the thought of sonia flipping from indifference to OHHHHH YOU'RE THE HAZEL BIANCA WAS TALKING ABOUT!!!!!

4. i don't know if i'll do much more than privately write out hazel's adventures for myself to enjoy, but if i ever did make a comic, i'd love to expand on the galar region and have leon accompany hazel a goodly amount (and similarly hazel accompany leon and help calm down aggressive dynamaxed pokemon) in between her chaperoning for hop & gloria on their adventure and challenging gyms herself

but i've been wanting to play with giving the story more flourish and fixing some of the issues that a lot of people have with the ending feeling rushed by giving rose more context to his motivations, more intrigue in the narrative with the legendary wolves, and one thing i'd really like to play with is the original heroes of galar and a one-off line from Ash in Journeys, which has him say the statue of the hero in one of the hotels looks like Leon)

i really like the narrative of rose being very romantic about how he sees the world and wanting to bring about a second darkest day so it can play out like a fairy tale and leon will be the hero in the starring role. that, wishing as hard as he can, he can shift fate itself and the hero king will tame the dragon and bring about a bright future. leon is written as a protagonist. sort of dorky outfit, using a starter as his ace, went on his journey and became champion on his first try, had a rival who ended up becoming a pokemon professor, his theme LITERALLY has the hall of fame theme as a motif- he's written as someone who is literally the ideal protagonist and hero.

and it just.. doesn't work. he fails! i want to work with that so badly. i loved that so dearly about BW with that similar narrative with basically creating a new pair of heroes at ideological odds by forcing it to happen. in the case of the unovan dragons, it turned out for the better, but in the case of galar it's such an interesting twist on the same kind of story and i love both games so much!!!!

anyways. dusts hands off. there you go. i go back under my rock now and pretend i'm not completely obsessed with leon and SWSH. goodbye

#cosmo rambles

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ilovetheseattlemariners · 3 months ago

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Mariners 6 - Mets 0

so gym bro had a doctor's appt., but that's okay. we're going to reschedule to some time, but i'm not sure when. i just don't have a lot of time for myself and my passions. the 9 to 5 robs me of life, and then the days that i'm off i am always bombarded with some trifles that prevent me from self-fulfilment. i nearly cried at the thought of my dad's plans preventing me from going out on my own to this street with vintages and bookshops. it was pretty pathetic but also i'm just so tired of this life i think that's what it is.

i got a lot of nice books though. there were no clothes that i really wanted, however. but i was just walking down those streets by myself and i was just ... fulfilled. i walked into two random like sari sari type stores as well and i bought a can of like fruit punch drink and there was like no gap between the soda tab and the can that like i fucked up my nail highkey popping it open.

also i was walking down this suburban street and there was a flight of stairs but there wasn't a house... i walked up it and it was just an empty lot of land yet my hand instinctively began to reach for a door. like subconsciously i wanted open really badly something that wasn't there. i think it'd make a good plot for a book like:

a couple spends time shopping on a street. im undecided on the vibes of this moment, like if there should be some unspoken tensity or like it's unreciprocated. anyways, they come upon an empty plot of land like the one i found after walking up a flight of stairs and one of them also instinctively reaches for the door. and then the couple dance to "i found a reason" by the velvet underground. one of the two sing it to the other first and then they sing the "pa pa papa" part and they do the counterpoint and i make a big deal about how it's not harmonizing but counterpoint and the two lines could almost be different songs entirely, and then this leads to a big climactic moment.

i've been down that street i was on with so many people, i've lived so many different lives on this same street and the street is the same. it was especially poignant when i went back to the pier that i would go to every week with my ex, not because i love my ex but rather because it was so simple. i don't think i could ever be able to love a woman with sincerity ever again, and i certainly don't think i could love her ever again, but at the same time i feel like i'd give the world to relive that.

and there was something so deep that happened today that i know of and that i still feel so intensely, but i was too late to writing it down for you here and i've already forgotten it.

I want so badly to be a woman. It isn't even tolerable anymore. I just wish I could be a woman and I could be loved. Maybe that was the sentiment that was destroying me. I want to be loved. I was like thinging with these two women at the candy store and I wasn't being very serious about it, just letting it happen. This retelling is going to be so embarrassing because I feel like I have no ability to perceive platonic-ness. Like fuck man some people just are kind for no gain of their own. Not everyone wants to fuck you. Anyways they asked for my instagram and I gave it to them and I took it to be flirtatious and I went with it anyways but as I was leaving the door I was like why the fuck did I just do that. I don't want them. And when I was watching some of the sexy men on the train I was fucking shaking in desire for them. But maybe I was just being theatric.

I just want to be a woman that is loved by a man. i want to look in the mirror and think that i am pretty. I look in the mirror and feel nothing sometimes. But also there are other days where I just love being a man. I just love being a man and the idea of being touched by a man impacts me so passionately that I need it more than anything in the world. My heart is racing and my hands are shaking just now as I think of it.

My life was somewhat happy today.

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zuol · 5 months ago

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Being Kind!

I’ve been feeling better these days.

I remember watching Perfect Days in the theater. I sat next to someone even though there were a lot of empty seats in the theater. I cried and laughed watching the film.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the life I’m living. Actually, a lot less than before. I feel myself changing and I think there’s a part of me that cares less about things that don’t matter. I’m practicing to actively choose what matters to me.

It’s a lot of unlearning so that I can “rewire my neural pathways”! I first learned of this back in 2022 when I listened to a talk by a monastic (Sister Dang Nghiem) at Deer Park Monastery.

It’s important for me to reframe certain ways of thinking that are no longer helpful to me, and actively making positive changes to sustain the kind of life that I want for myself.

I’d like to encourage myself more and practice to celebrate my progress. I still don’t really know what it means to “celebrate” my progress but I think right now, it means making space for the feeling of happiness and gratitude for the decisions I’ve made.

Recently, I made four friends at the gym! They’re all men. I’ve joked around with my friend, V (I love her and I am so grateful for her friendship. Knowing her has been really healing for me), that 2 of those guy friends are my “protectors” in case anything ever happens to me! Lol, weird to say but I think it’s a real thing to be cautious of as a woman. They’re really sweet and I feel good casually saying hi to them.

The other 2 guys were people I approached the other day. One of them helped spot me, and and with his help, I realized how desperately I need someone to workout with. This is something I’ve been shy about, even though I’ve been exercising for about 5 years? He helped me with my form and encouraged me with my sets. He was super kind and I’m grateful to have built rapport with him!

The last guy is someone I’ve been noticing, and so I came up to him and had a funny, productive (lol I have no other way to describe it) conversation. I asked to be friends and if he could help me with any workouts in the future, and he agreed.

When I shared what had happened with V, she was really proud of me and my progress. I’ve shared with her that I don’t really interact with men due to past poor experiences and I think it’s important now to change my own ways of thinking and acting.

It’s important to protect myself from harassment but I remember that I know how to advocate for myself in any kind of situation I run into. I also know how to use my discernment and act accordingly when I sense any “red flags”.

Everything just feels easier.

I’ve been through a lot of sh*t in my life, and as I’ve been practicing to acknowledge and take full accountability on my part, I am also learning to practice forgiving myself (and others) and give myself space to make changes that actively support the person I want to be.

It feels really good to change. But I want to say that it isn’t easy, and that I don’t actually like change too.

So knowing that, I’ll invite gentleness and tenderness into my actions, even though I don’t know what that really means right now.

Let me start…

I won’t judge myself for whatever I do. Instead I’ll just be aware and practice nonjudgment.

I’ll practice to look at the good. I have a habit of looking at the “ugly” or whatever is going wrong. I can be aware of what is perceived to be going wrong and shift my focus on what’s going right instead.

Right now, I have a lot of things going right: I have support, I have a good heart and I have a sense of ethics/morals that helps me live a meaningful life, I am in a safe environment, and I have really good friends and family. I am always trying my best, and I’ve always tried my best since I was young.

I have the power to make my life better and I have been doing that, especially since the end of my romantic relationship in 2019, which was actually terrible. I can say I regret everything but it isn’t about that. It hasn’t been about that for a long time. It’s more so that yes, I have a past and it’s not something I feel proud of, but I learned a lot from it, and I’m really grateful that I’m removed from being in a relationship with someone who really wasn’t good for me (to put it simply). And I’ve been able to practice prioritizing myself by centering MYSELF.

I feel myself repeating this act of prioritizing myself in all aspects of my life, and I’m getting a little better at it daily. That’s something to be proud of.

So, Carol, be proud of yourself. You go really hard and pop off, so don’t forget who you are, and never make yourself small. Even if you do that in certain moments (re: making myself small), you can practice to forgive yourself - that’s an act of unconditional love. When you can love yourself unconditionally (it’s a constant practice in the moment), you can offer this gift to others.

I think at my core, I’m a really ambitious, loving individual. I really try my best with the resources I have and it’s important for me to acknowledge that I have my own desires, needs, and wants that are valid in every way possible.

I do a lot for others but I feel more ready to take time to fill my own cup. I’m excited for this ongoing journey of growth, even if it’s weird, messed up sometimes, and uncomfortable. Because it’s rewarding, fun, and actually incredibly humorous!

#did not proofread

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gabenvrhappened · 6 months ago

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LifeOr... An Overlasting Winter

Read the inspired lyrics Everybody Is Sad

Stubbornness was born within me, so when I decided that I wanted to move to London, I knew I had to do it as soon as I could. That "soon" changed from time to time until it became December of 2023: Christmas time and New Year’s. "Yay", I thought. But I forgot about winter. It may seem irrelevant, but it’s not, so bear with me. The last, and first time, I’ve been to London, it was summer. The sun was shining until 9PM, and people were out and about. Concerts were happening, and beaches were packed. Nothing strange and all like you would imagine it would be — apart from the sun setting so late at night, which was completely mind-blowing for me. So coming here during the winter wasn’t really something I would think as much of a problem to consider. In my past experiences, seasons didn't really change much the whole aspects of ones life. I’ve faced winters before, and people would still go out and about. No beaches, but that’s not the only thing you do to socialize, right? Right?

Just as the sun sets, people were wired out differently here, and it took me so much to figure it out and to adapt (still am, actually). For a long time, I thought maybe I was the problem. Maybe my expectations were too high and of course everything would feel too hard, too strange, and too suffocating for me. But one night I was talking to a friend, and she said something that made everything make sense: "Gabe, people here are sad". And it’s true. All my theories now had a falling place. And as crazy as it may sound, the weather plays a huge factor in this. Here the nights can be much longer than in other parts of the world. Imagine being in total darkness at 4 in the afternoon for months and months? It’s no joke when I tell you that people here take supplements of vitamin C because of the lack of sun and to avoid (probably unsuccessfully as it seems) depression.

London is perfect for visiting, but to live in? I've came to learn that not so much. And my stubbornness knows that now, too. Being haunted with that realization makes me constantly wonder if I had made the right decision coming here. I’m constantly pondering if I should’ve stayed in my comfort zone for a little bit longer. The pros were looking favorable, of course, but then I reminded myself that, even in nice weathers, there would be challenges. So what was the point of postponing the ones that would matter the most? Being here now brought me some good people, opportunities and lessons I wouldn’t have had if I had decided to stay wrapped on my blanket for five more minutes. After all, good waves never made good sailors. Such a hard time is teaching me a lot.

However, not every lesson has a learning process immediately after. This whole thing of adapting took a huge toll on the way I perceive myself. Now, I’m just like everybody else: sad. I now sometimes look at myself in the mirror and don’t recognize my own reflection. Am I looking too dark? Too weird to fit? I can’t even look people in the eyes anymore — especially in the miserable ones I miserably tried to be friends with. I don’t even want to be seen most of the times (which is impossible now ever since I made the horrible decision to paint my hair pink), and honestly, I don’t want to even see myself. People liking me for me? HA! That's an impossible thought.

My mirror is so tired of hearing “I don’t know why I doubt my beauty; I’m handsome as hell”. Still, here I am, every day, at the gym, persuing society's idea of pretty. It hurts, indeed. Part of me is still trying because there’s a tiny hope that maybe the future will be better, and in that future, I have to be fit because fit guys are more welcomed. But being at the gym every day is hell. I like working out, so the problem is the people around me, because they’re all straight jocks with perfect body and perfect hair, and I’m far from being and having one thing or the other. Sometimes, I just want to be blind to not see anyone, but that’s a horrible thing to say, so I just wish I could have the strength to come during dawn where there’s no one to compare myself with. Yes, I’m down bad, crying at the gym, but hey, I can do it with a broken heart, but the honest truth is that I hate it here.

Especially when around me everyone has friends. They’re always on the phone, and they’re always hanging out. I feel like, even if I tried, O couldn't arrange any hang out. Who would want that anyway? My close friends forgot me. I was supposed to come here and learn how to not be alone, but they’re now just hooking up with depended girl, in a trisal, and I’m just on the sidelines because, hey, he was always alone anyway. He probably likes that. Once again, I’m laying in the bed I created for being... me.

So, what am I going to do about that? I’ll first download a hookup app to stay hours on because I finally decided that I can and want to have no string attached kind of sex, just to figure it out that even that is obnoxiously hard to get. Then, I’ll watch a movie at an overpriced movie theatre and walk around SoHo drinking until I’m drunk, because I recently decided that if I’m not drinking to have my chemistry fully altered, then there’s no need to engage in drinking at all. Better make my money worth it, right? While listening to The Prophecy howling at the moon. You know, just the basics of a normal Saturday night.

#LifeOrGabeNeverHappened

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starfightervicki · 1 year ago

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I'm not from r/196, but we're all Tumblrinas now.

Name? Vicki.

Pronouns and gender? She/her, mostly a woman.

Sexuality? Asexual.

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? It's been a long time since I thought of myself as in a fandom. But I like lurking around fans of Star Wars, Star Trek, Good Omens, Discworld, and Our Flag Means Death.

What is your Most forbidden snack? You know how in documentaries that have lava, they show that cool black on top with orangered oozing out underneath? I want to eat that like a s'more. Especially when someone steps on it and squishes out some more orangered, like squishing a melty marshmallow.

Would you pet a bug? If I were keeping it as a pet. Petting an animal who probably doesn't like it is a "I'm around you all the time" thing. I petted a tarantula my dad had as a pet.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I have very good low-light vision.

What does the color blue taste like? The mouthful of saltwater you get swimming in the ocean on a sunny day.

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? It's hard to choose. A quartz point bigger than me? A rose quartz sphere bigger than me? An amethyst geode big enough that it could be my bed? The moral of the story is that if you like rocks, the Tuscon gem show is good for sightseeing, not just buying things.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? The worst things I can think of are too depressing and too personal, so I'll tell the story of how I broke my arm. I was in second (third?) grade, and there was a trend at my school of looping the straps of your backpack over jungle gym bars and swinging on it. I only had a fanny pack, I think because my mom was worried about my posture. So I used that- and put my entire weight on one plastic buckle. Snape went the buckle, crunch went the bone.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? The worst things are too personal and too vindictive. But when I was in second (third?) grade there was a trend at my school...

Hyperfixation song? My most recent was "Return To Oz" by the Scissor Sisters. More genuine Oz sorrow in under five minutes than any "Oz but sad/edgy/whatever" adaptation/sequel/whatever I've ever seen.

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? My username is from an 80s movie, The Last Starfighter, and my actual name. My profile picture is because I came across game-icons.net, I don't remember how, and I'm always itching to use the icons from it.

Dream career as a child? Actor. I don't know why. To me it was obviously what everyone wants to be when they grow up.

Dream career as an adult? Colorist. I genuinely love shading.

Thoughts on cilantro? It's okay.

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? Not that I know of.

What is your cursed food combination? Peanut butter and jelly sandwich dipped in cranberry juice. Soggy bread in general.

Trans rights? Of course.

I'm going to tag people who didn't come from r/196 or r/CuratedTumblr. Get perceived, tubthumpers. >:D

@dance-to-the-radi-o @blaisenon @idberinging @popquizhotshots @byronicproclivities @turtlesocksv2 @6x20castiel @vanpalmer @400barrels @ourmoonlightrevels

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

#ask game

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lesbiampire · 6 years ago

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may i just say that when me and two friends first signed up to start working out at a gym, accepted an offer from a personal trainer who worked there who said he would give us a free session and were then really stoked because we were young n feeling vulnerable in our bodies n just wanted to go there to work out n have a good time............ this grown ass man who gave us the free session sends my friend (then 17, he thought she was 16) dick pics and this is why i hate the world and everybody in it

#that's all #idk i just feel super? angry? all of a sudden again #like we were so nervous #n you want to feel safe in an environment like that #n the training session was actually good #it was afterwards that he got weird #like the police got involved n stuff so like #idk it's like #now im a bit terrified to go back to a gym?#or let any man at a gym perceive me ever #especially because he made us do lots of squats n shit n just...... Watched #fucking creep #rosy.txt

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lokisprettygirl · 3 years ago

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Pick me, Choose me, Love me (Sub Loki x Female Reader) 18+

Summary : All loki wants is his own person. That's it. Just someone who would pick him over and over again.

Based on this request by @rat-p1ss - insecure!loki x reader? like she flirts w thor platonically but loki has a crush on her,, then sad loki,, then hella fluffy sub loki smut,, i would combust.

Warning : 18+ Minors DNI, Sub loki, Sex, Dirty talk, Mommy kink , Praise kink, Insecurities. Poor baby loki.

"You know if you were not an Asgardian and a god, I would think you were on steroids or something, look at the tricep, like I can differentiate your brachii from the long head, it's mind blowing" you giggled as your fingers trailed over Thor's triceps, you both sat next to each other on the couch. Thor just returned from the gym with Tony so his muscles were all pumped and full on display. Loki couldn't help but fume as he watched how you flirted with his imbecile brother. It's not as if he's yours so he can't even complain.

Of Course you want Thor just like everyone else he has ever known or have had romantic interests for. But unlike his previous heartbreaks this time it hurt bad. Really really bad. He felt his heart breaking, you two have been such good friends since he came to midgard but he never could tell you his real feelings. He was afraid you'd leave him like everyone else and wouldn't want to be his friend anymore.

"Thank you lady y/n" Thor blushed a little, he wasn't an alien to females complimenting him over his physique, he just wasn't expecting it from you, especially considering the bond you shared with his brother Loki. He never wanted to sway away people Loki wanted to pursue romantically or court but it just happened because of his godly good looks, he couldn't help it if women were interested in him. And It seemed midgardian women weren't any immuned to his charm either.

"You're welcome, damnn I can't stop staring at your muscles" Loki got up and left for his room as he didn't want to see you of all people flirting and giggling with his brother.

As soon as Loki stormed out of the living room you smiled, you have liked that adorable boy since he got here. You found him all kinds of precious. Now you didn't want to insult a god or the maniac who attacked New York under influence, but Loki was nothing like you could have imagined or perceived him to be. He was sweet, considerate and Adorable. Yes, Adorable. You gave him a human sized teddy bear for his birthday and he would keep it by his side since it comforted him from nightmares. He would be all whiny and throw tantrums like an 8 year old in meetings since he isn't a morning person. He would smile so wide everytime you would compliment his magic. He's adorable.

"Dudee he likes me right?" You asked Thor and he looked at you weirdly with the sudden change in your behavior.

"Oh he definitely does, you should go talk to him" Thor smiled so you got up and made your way towards his room. You knocked on his door but he took his time and when he finally opened it you could see his eyes red, probably from crying. Oh no!!! You just wanted to see if he felt the same way about you or just liked you as a friend. You never wanted to hurt him.

"Something wrong, magical bean?" You asked him softly as you got Inside the room and he shook his head in response but he was looking down and not at you. He's not your magical bean anymore, you wouldn't spend time with him once Thor starts courting you.

"Do you like Thor now?" He asked you so you crossed your arms.

"What?"

"It's okay you can admit it, you want to be his friend right, maybe more, well it's alright you can have him, I'm okay I promise I'm okay" he said softly then he walked towards his bed and sat down. You could see that he was trying hard to not sob and his sad voice broke your heart, he always felt lesser than Thor because of Odin and how he differentiated between his children but you never wanted him to feel as if you'd ditch him for his brother. You wouldn't ditch him for the whole World.

"Lokii"

"Don't justify it, everyone always wants Thor and I don't blame you, I'm not strikingly handsome or have the muscles you could count in my arms" you shook your head and sat down on the floor on your knees right in front of him.

You were on your knees, in front of him.

"Not strikingly handsome? Have you seen yourself in the mirror, magical bean? And I definitely can count your muscles everywhere, you have the perfect amount of muscles, just how I like" You told him and he looked at you for a second but then quickly looked away. His eyes tearing up

"Yes I want to be Thor's friend, he's a cool dude but I don't want him more than that"

"Then why were you fawning over him just now" he asked you so you placed your hands on his thighs and rubbed circles on the insides. The touch made him nervous instantly. You have never touched him like that before.

"So I could be assured that the boy I like so much likes me too, that he wants me more than just a friend, and I think my suspicions are confirmed"

You smiled and then you leaned down to kiss his thighs, your mouth extremely close to his cock that was slowly starting to swell up.

"You want me more than a friend?" He asked you as he scrunched his forehead so you nodded.

"You don't want to do this with thor? You want to touch me like this?" He asked you softly but his eyes teared up.

"Oh babyyy..I don't know what kind of dumbasses you have been around all your life, but I would never pick Thor or anyone else over you. The only boy I want to touch and ruin is you, look how you are blooming with my touch, you want me to keep going, pretty boy?" You crawled up on top of him and your lips latched to his neck, making him emit the whiniest moan you have ever heard from a man.

"But that's all I'll ever be, a boy. You deserve a man like Thor"

You looked up as he said that, your fingers gripped his hair and pulled his head backwards so he could look at you.

"Just because I call you my pretty boy doesn't make you any less of a man okay? It's a term of endearment darling, anyone who says or told you otherwise can go to hell" you whispered softly as you kissed his forehead then you kissed him softly on the lips.

"I'm so sorry my angel" he teared up again so you cupped his cheeks and kissed him deeply, kissed him until he was gasping for air to fill his lungs..

"Never have to be sorry my love, you're the prettiest, most handsome man I have ever known and you're so soft and loving with the kindest ever heart, you have the best of everything and I am blessed to even know you, much less be your friend or your lover if you'd want" you mumbled as you kissed and sucked on his neck. He hummed and moaned as he heard your praises, he almost felt drunk, he has never felt that way before. You bucked your hips on his hardened cock over his pants and a loud moan erupted from his lips.

"Want me to keep going, little kitten? Want me to love you like this?" You asked him and he nodded desperately but then you heard his dainty plea.

"Pleasee"

"Such a whiny little boy" you mumbled as you unbuttoned his pants, his cock sprung out, all hard and leaking, you wonderd how long it has been since he had sex. You stroked him up and down in your fist and he instantly clutched his arms around your waist and hid his face between your neck. He felt so shy, so exposed. You're his friend but he always wanted more, he never thought you'd be so controlling and commanding. You felt like a dream.

"It's okay sweet baby, no need to be so shy, you're mine aren't you? I can touch you like this, let me see you all bare, let me appreciate how beautiful you are"

He nodded as he blushed crimson red and hummed desperately as he heard you. You let go of his cock and unbuttoned his shirt then you slid it off his shoulder slowly. His perfectly toned physique made you want to lick every little inch of his skin.

"Look at that, gosh you have the most perfect body" you caressed his pecs muscles with your fingers and he moaned at the sweet sensation.

"You like this?" He asked you so you pulled him in for a sloppy kiss, your hands ran all over him. His skin felt so soft under your touch.

"You want to know if I like perfection? Yes I do baby, I do" you mumbled and your hand stroked his hard big cock again. He moaned loudly, louder than you have heard yet.

"Look how big and thick your cock is, absolutely going to ruin my pussy aren't you? Such a soft pink tip you have, prettiest cock ever I swear" he whimpered and teared up more, from the praise this time. He really loves being told how good he is and how much you like his body.

"Mmmm oh please, baby please I need you miss" he mumbled incoherently as he felt the sensation building up slowly in lower belly. His balls felt heavy as you fondled him.

"Mmmm I know you do, but I need to see all of you before I do that, show me your pretty ass darling" you mumbled as you caressed his cheeks. He blushed deeply before he put you down on the bed and stood up to take his pants off, you could feel the wetness pooling between your legs at the sight of this gorgeous little thing getting naked for you. He stood there with a raging hard on as he got all bare for you.

"Turn around kitten" you asked him so he turned around slowly, his cute little bottom made you want to bite his cheeks but you refrained from going all perv on him on your first time with him. Maybe later, you didn't want to scare him just yet .

"Look at that, cutest little ass I have ever seen" he turned around quickly and got on top of you, he needed the closeness and he wanted to hide from how shy he felt with your constant gaze on him.

You flipped him over quickly and slid down to taste him before you'd

lose the last bit of inhibitions you had in you. His precum filled your mouth, he tasted so different from any other man you have ever had before, he tasted so sweet and cold.

"Fuck you even taste like heaven my pretty boy" he whined again as he heard you, his hands scratched your scalp wanting you take him in deeper. You wanted to but you needed to fuck him and own him right now, you needed him to be assured that he was yours and you were his. You'd never let him go, you'd love him and make him feel secure all his life if he'd have you.

You took your shorts off and he sat up to take your shirt off your body, his hands grabbed your bosom and he squeezed them together, sucking on the nipples, you threw your head back as he licked and sucked slowly.

"You like sucking on my titties pretty boy?" You asked him and he nodded in response, he didn't say a word, nor stopped licking and sucking.

"Mmmm such a good babyboy, you're making me feel so good, keep sucking baby" you mumbled as you caressed his head softly.

"Mmm yesh thank you mommy"

Fuckk

His eyes widened as he realized what he had said, you'd definitely leave him now.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean—"

"Say it again baby" you looked at him and he took a deep breath, his big doe eyes staring deep into your soul.

"Mommy..I "

"Fuck that's hot, say it again" you never knew him saying something so forbidden would make you gush like a faucet. You didn't even know you had this kink.

"Oh mommy please, please mommy" he mumbled in a whiny desperate tone so you pressed his head between your tits again.

"Suck baby, suck on mommy's titties like a good boy" He latched his mouth again, sucking on your right nipple, giving it his utmost attention,once in a while he would take his tongue out, give a few kitten licks then would suck again mindlessly.

"That's a good boy, look at you nibbling on mommy's titties like a kitten" he looked up at you, kissed you softly then went back to savoring your tits again. He looked so thoughtless and empty. You loved that. You continued to stroke his cock slowly, his precum dripped down on your hand continuously, it almost felt as if he came but you knew he didn't, he was just too aroused.

"Fuckk You're the most perfect man I have ever known, you know that?" You mumbled as you pushed him down on the bed slowly, within a few seconds you slipped his cock inside your wet dripping cunt and he groaned as he felt the tightness of your walls engulfing him suddenly. He could have come right then.

"You're my pretty boy aren't you?" You asked him so he looked at you

"Yes mommy"

"Say it baby, use your words"

"I'm your pretty boy mommy, please take me"

You intertwined your fingers with his as you start to hop up and down on his cock. He arched his back and threw his head back, moaning continuously as he felt the coil building instantly, you're such a goddess and all he wanted to do was worship you forever.

"Mmm..ohh.. yess yess mommy fuck me, make me yours please, I wanna be yours forever" he whined as he spoke, tears slipped past his eyes from the intense feelings he felt in the moment, he has never felt so owned and he loved being owned by you. All his life he felt so inferior, he didn't feel manly enough, he didn't feel strong enough but you made him feel the sexiest he has ever felt. You made him feel sexy while he was so vulnerable underneath you, moaning and whimpering like a whore.

"Ohh I'm never letting you go after this sweet babyboy, you're all mine to use and please forever, fuckk you're going to make me cum so quickly" you could feel your orgasm approaching as you rode his huge cock into oblivion. He was everything you have ever dreamed of and more.

"Mmm Yeahh please mommy" he mumbled, you could feel his cock twitching inside you as he reached closer and closer to his peak.

"Mmm gonna fill me up with your cum baby? Want to cum inside mommy don't you?" He groaned as he heard your filthy words and nodded pathetically

"Mmm yes yess I'm so close soo so close, gonna fill you up with my cum so good I promise mommy, I have so much of it for you, please take it mommy, please accept my cum in your pussy" he whimpered and you leaned down to kiss him for a moment. You placed your hands on either side of his head as you continued to hop and move your hips. Your breasts jiggled over his face so he closed his eyes and took his tongue out, your nipples brushed against his tongue every time you'd move up and down. The sight made you want to do unimaginable things to him.

"Fuck sweetheart, cum for me darling, be a good boy, fill me up" he exploded as soon as he heard your voice, his body thrashed underneath you and he gripped your hips to stop your movements as it felt too much, he was so lost in the feeling, he couldn't feel anything but you as his orgasm peaked, you felt his cum filling you up to the brim and the sensation made you combust too.

He grunted loudly as he felt your pussy clamping tightly around his cock. Both of you were breathing heavily and you collapsed quickly to the side of him once you were done chasing your high. When you pulled him out of you, you could feel him seeping out of you and on the bed but you didn't care in the moment. None of you spoke or said a word for a good few minutes. You chuckled as you got back to your senses and snuggled closer to him.

"Fuck that got filthier than I imagined our first time to be" he turned his head to look at you, you couldn't read the expression on his face.

"You'd want me again like this?" He asked you softly so you turned on your side and pulled him closer so you could kiss him.

"Why wouldn't I want you, I would be a fool to not want you, I have always wanted to be with you ever since I met you" you caressed his cheeks with your thumb as you comforted him.

"I'm sorry I am so insecure"

"It's okay baby, it's not your fault that they made you feel like this, you never have to hide from me kitten, I'll always comfort you and make you feel good I promise, I love you my little magical bean" he teared up as he heard the confession then he pressed his head between your breasts as he held you tightly.

"I love you so much angel" you wrapped your arms around him tightly and peppered kisses on top of his head.

"You meant everything you said? I'm yours forever, you're mine? Only mine?" He asked you again as he looked up so you smiled and kissed him until he didn't doubt your words anymore.

"Meant each n every word I promise"

All his life he felt inferior to Thor, he didn't want the attention of whole nine realms but just one person. His own person who'd pick him over anyone else, who'd choose him and who'd love him selflessly and he found you finally.

➖➖➖➖➖➖💚💚💚➖➖➖➖➖

Tagging : @rat-p1ss @the-wounded-healer05 @catalina712 @lokis-savior17 @vbecker10 @daddylokisqueen @mikaylafairy @tanushreegupta27 @sarcastic-little-bitch2007 @snigdha-14 @sheeps134 @bxdassdagger @sylvies4ever @michelleleewise @rootbeergoddess

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#loki #loki x female reader #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader angst #loki x reader smut #loki x reader fic #loki x reader one shot #loki smut #sub loki smut #mcu loki #soft loki

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