#but I do have a small story related post queued

[intramoon]

This bitch is *crack of the whip*

[miku-nt]

Art on the Internet

This is a bit unrelated to what I typically post, but It's something that I was thinking about since writing a previous post about changing my phone screen.

I feel like I don't appreciate the art I see on the internet enough. I see so many amazing pieces each day, and understand that most took hours to create. With that said, I spend only a few seconds appreciating them. I typically try to retweet any really good piece I see so that I can scroll back through my twitter to look at them, but there are too many to look back on and lots of the time I end up forgetting about those I love most.

The thing that really sparked this was when I was choosing art for my phone background. I ended up going with one of my favorite pieces of art, so It was one I had "memorized," but while looking for potential alternatives I found two pieces that caused me to kinda worry about how I was failing to remember pieces I loved.

The first was a painting of Miku that was meant to be a rainy day design. Her hair is in buns, my favorite alternate Miku hairstyle, and she has lots of cute details. There are flowers and raindrops in her hair, and she has umbrella earrings and a cloud hairpin. She is wearing an adorable blue dress and a pink undershirt with a blue ribbon as a belt. The colors of this piece are wonderful and overall Miku looks very adorable in it. It is probably one of my favorite pieces of art ever...and I had completely forgotten about it. I now have it saved as an alternate wallpaper, but It makes me worry about all of the other pieces I've potentially forgotten about.

The second piece is pretty much the same story. It was a piece that I couldn't stop thinking about for a period of time, that just completely left my mind. It's a collection of small drawings of Miku in her Hanami Outfit (the one designed by Rella) in a bunch of cute poses. I remember obsessively going back to this piece to look at it over and over again for at least a week just a few months ago. I shared it with all of my friends and liked it about as much as the official artwork by Rella. Then, when I was actually thinking of pieces of art to use for my phone wallpaper, I didn't remember it at all. I only found it again because it randomly showed up in suggestions while I was looking through Rella's PIXIV.

These are some of my favorite pieces of art, and when I had the opportunity to appreciate them again they didn't even come to mind. So many other amazing pieces had filled up the one place I use to save art that I forgot about them. I've created an actual "wallpapers" album on my phone now to save pieces I like enough to want as wallpapers, so hopefully it doesn't happen again. Still, I can't help but worry about there being other amazing pieces I've forgotten about. I don't exactly have the time to scroll through every single one of my retweets, so unless I dedicate time to it, I'll probably rely on pieces I see in the future to have as wallpapers.

This isn't really the type of post I necessarily want to occupy this blog, and it ended up being way longer than I meant for it to be. I just appreciate being able to get these feelings out. Honestly, however, I wrote this because I've been queueing posts (great feature btw) and I've been on a daily streak since starting this blog, but only have the phone screen post queued right now. I definitely haven't run out of Miku related things I want to post, like I said, I have a long history of instagram story posts I would like to expand on, I'm just experiencing the thing I mentioned in my "Unpacking" post where I get a bit overstimulated by my emotions, even positive ones. I wrote most of my previous posts all on one day only briefly after my initial day of unpacking. I haven't been able to work up the motivation to do much else, and I'm going to be away from home for the next few days. Basically, I got overstimulated from the excitement of unpacking and being able to write here and I haven't quite "recovered," and on top of that I won't even be able to unpack for the next few days due to me being busy. Overall it has me a bit bummed. I definitely want to unpack all of my figures so that I can go ahead and arrange my shelves, and I also want to write about a bunch more stuff on here.

Again I've made a post that completely goes off topic. Can you tell I like writing? I'm using writing as a way to relax from writing and ending up writing way more than I initially intended. Moral of the story: Artists please frequently repost your artwork, I want to see it. Next I'll most likely write about some goods I ordered recently, or something completely random and off topic. Who knows.

[moved-2-coyotejone-s]

man yknow. i know everyone's heard this one, but really truly just writing a few words, like 3 or 4, in a wip doc is enough to feel satisfying when you've truly accepted the mindset that any amount of words at any amount of time is still progress.

part of me wants to blame the education system for this shitty "if i don't write 3 paragraphs a day, i'm a failure" mindset, but i know that's not all of it. there's a lot of writers, both professional and not, who i think inadvertently push this kind of thinking on their readers and fans. are they to blame? not really, if they're doing it unintentionally. but it makes me sad for them because like. they got that mindset from somewhere too.

i think my point is like. there are no deadlines when you're writing for fun. sometimes i talk about a fic i'm writing and i'm super excited about it and then it sits in my drafts for months or even years. i feel guilty about it sometimes, i really do, but i make myself remember that i'm not obligated to keep writing it if i've lost interest. i don't owe anyone fanfiction. i write because i want to, i write for myself.

like i have so many poems and drabbles i've never even thought about posting. maybe i'll post them soon, get them queued up after i post this. but the point is i don't have to. i don't owe anyone these poems.

don't force yourself to write for anyone. the only deadlines writers should set are for career writing and education-related writing, so basically if writing is your job or you have a writing-based assignment. there are no deadlines for fanfic. there are no deadlines for writing for fun. progress is progress no matter how small, and if you lose interest? stop! don't write that anymore! put it aside, don't delete it, but save it for if/when you regain interest. no one's forcing you.

also i couldn't put this anywhere but deletion is also progress. you didn't like that part or you thought of something better or it just doesn't fit in the story. you made the story better by choosing to delete that part. you're fitting it to your vision. you're making progress. the forest suffers without wildfires.

i also couldn't fit this anywhere, but you do not have to write something every day. if you're doing a challenge, great! i'm proud of you! but if it starts to get hard or frustrating, please please please stop, i promise no one will be mad. if you go a few days without writing anything at all, that's okay. if you go a few weeks without writing anything, that's okay. if you go a few months, that's okay. a few years, that's okay. burnout is fucking real, and people have certainly tried, but the feeling is truly indescribable. imagine being completely unable to bring yourself to do anything creative at all. imagine wanting so badly for your hands to move but they just won't. imagine staring at a blank document, which we've all done, for hours, which extend into days, weeks, months. you simply can't do anything. that's what burnout is like, at least in my experience. and you can prevent it by taking breaks and not forcing yourself to write constantly. you are not a machine. you are a human being with thoughts and feelings and creativity, but you are also a human being with limits. and it's preferable that you don't cross the limits of how much you can force yourself to write.

write for you. for no one else.

[actress4him]

Black, Yellow, Blue, Green, Orange, Pink

...Red

Okay I had this scheduled to post on the 1st but I’ve been queuing up posts and writing on it some more and I can’t wait any longer! I’ve been working on this one for a while now and am very excited to finally start sharing it. I pretty much wrote it as one long piece, but for the sake of Tumblr posts I’ve broken it up into a bunch of small ones. It’s currently at 13 parts and still going. It will go on AO3, too, eventually, possibly in larger chunks. 

Pay attention to the warnings. This is a dark one - the whole story, not just this chapter. Eeeeeverybody gets whumped in this story!...but mostly Keith, of course.

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Pairings: NONE!!

Warnings for this chapter: captivity, sleep deprivation, isolation, self-harm (scratching), beatings, torture, brainwashing, guns, gunshot wounds

.

.

“Hm, seems we have an incoming ship. Blade model, if I’m not mistaken.”

Shiro glances over at the console and furrows his brow. “I didn’t know we were expecting a visit from the Blades.”

“We weren’t,” Coran confirms. Tapping a couple of buttons, he brings up a hailing screen. “Castle of Lions to incoming craft, please state your name and intentions.”

Only a few seconds pass before an image blips to life, bringing a familiar scowling face to their screen. 

“Oh, it’s just the Mullet,” Lance sighs, leaning back in his Paladin chair with sudden disinterest. “What are you doing, showing up here unannounced? Haven’t you ever heard of a space phone call? Space text?”

Keith’s scowl only deepens, confusion creasing his features. Before an argument can ensue, Shiro steps in front of the screen.

“We’re always glad to see you, Keith. It’s true that we weren’t expecting you, though. Kolivan told us last week that you’d be gone on a mission for a while. Everything okay?” Maybe it was just poor video quality, but he looked paler than usual, his cheeks almost a bit hollowed out. Shiro had been wondering lately if he was getting enough food and sleep with the Blades.

“Everything’s fine.” The delivery is monotone, wooden, and Shiro automatically vows to make the boy sleep for as long as he can force him before he lets him go back. “I just finished with my mission, and got permission for a short visit.”

“Excellent, Number Four! I’ll open up the main hangar for you and personally meet you there.” Coran closes the communication with a flourish and punches the correct code for opening the hangar where all the pods are kept. “You and Number Three just keep going with the systems check, you’re making good progress. I’ll make sure the boy doesn’t need anything right away, then bring him straight here.”

Shiro smiles at him. “Thanks, Coran.”

Rising from his seat, Lance stretches languidly as he joins Shiro at the console. “‘s not like Mullet to just drop in like this...he’s only visited before when it was mission-related. Dude’s a workaholic.”

Shiro huffs a bit of a laugh. “Well, maybe Kolivan is forcing him to take a break. If so, I’ll have to thank the man.”

————————

The lights are so bright. Glaring, right in his eyes, making sleep impossible. 

He couldn’t have been asleep more than a couple of hours. 

As if the lights aren’t enough, the noise starts up again, too. Low rumbles, high-pitched screeches, music, all of it just sporadic enough to keep him jolting back into the present, unable to drift in any form of the word. 

It could be mere minutes before it goes dark and silent again. It could be days. He doesn’t get to choose when he sleeps anymore. Nor when he eats, drinks, or relieves himself.

It’s all up to them. They control his life now.

The only thing he can control is the welts that decorate his arms, some a brighter red where his nails dug in deep. 

That, and pacing up and down the plain white cell. The ache in his feet isn’t quite as good of a distraction, but it’s better than the Nothing.

————————

Keith is just hopping down out of the small, one-man fighter when Coran enters the hangar. He could almost swear the boy looks a bit taller than last he saw him, but then again it’s hard to tell from this distance. 

“Greetings, Number Four! It’s good to have you back on board. I trust you’re in good health?” He looks well enough, but the former Red Paladin is one of those types that’s good at hiding his ailments. Whether naturally or from past necessity, Coran hasn’t determined. 

His question seems to be being ignored, however. Keith is too busy looking around the hangar in almost a paranoid manner, eyes darting here and there as if he expects a Wabblojimer to burst out of hiding at any second. 

Clearing his throat and trying not to feel too concerned yet, Coran tries again. “I’m sure Number One is anxious to say hello, but if you need food, a shower, a trip to the infirmary...anything at all, just say the word.”

At last the boy stops both his steps and his anxious scanning, staring Coran down with unusually cold eyes from a short distance away.

“...Number Four?”

————————

The first time he sees a living person again he wants to fling himself at them and cry with relief, never mind the fact that this is one of his captors.

The pain they bring with them soon changes his mind.

They repeat the same phrases, over and over and over again, kicking him with heavy boots after each one.

“You are not a Blade.” Thump.

“You are not a Paladin.” Thump.

“You are not a person.” Thump.

“You are nothing.” Thump.

“You are worthless.” Thump.

The first one isn’t so hard to believe. After all, the Blade of Marmora doesn’t do rescues. He’s on his own here, wherever here is. He won’t be a Blade again unless he can escape and return to them.

The second one he already knew. He gave up that title when he walked away to solve Lance’s ‘math problem’.

As for the rest, he tries to fight them. He is a person. He’s...he’s…

At this point it’s been so long since he’s heard his name that he isn’t even sure who he is anymore.

————————

I am a weapon. 

I must not fail.

The blaster slides easily into his hold from its holster. He’s only practiced this thousands of times, after all.

Orange looks alarmed when the weapon is leveled at his chest, but he doesn’t have time to ask questions or sound an alarm.

One shot, centered in the torso. 

It’s several inches lower than it should have been. Still, the man crumples, and he holds out hope. Maybe he can be forgiven for his error. Maybe this won’t be counted as a failure. 

Crossing to the keypad by the door, he taps to re-open the hangar door behind him, then exits the room, blaster still in hand.

There’s still much to do.

—————————————

Next

[exactlyonebraincell]

Tag game! I was tagged by @princess-of-purple-prose and @pocketsizedquasar <3

1- Why did you choose your url?

I honestly don’t remember? I did make this blog at like 5 AM running on no sleep so it was entirely on a whim

2- Any side blogs?

Aside from a shared blog that I help moderate, nope! I cannot figure out side blog functions for the life of me jsksjdkd

3- How long have you been on Tumblr?

I’ve had a blog on here for about a year and a half that I logged into once every few months and just used to look at memes and stuff. I only started using tumblr actively around this June actually!

4- Do you have a queue tag?

Funny story actually I swore to myself when I created this blog that I’d never use the queue function. Anyways the first two queued posts I ever posted were tagged #wake up babe queue favourite tumblr feature just dropped and every queued post afterwards has been tagged #i believe in queue. You either die (deactivate) a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain huh

5- Why did you start your blog in the first place

SO I have this fic that I thought I would publish in like July so I made a tumblr blog to promote it but then I entirely changed the direction I wanted it to go in and got addicted to tumblr along the way

6- Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

In honour of Mob Psycho season 3, I had to change it to something related to our emotional support pathetic middle aged man <3

7- Why did you choose your header?

It was already in my camera roll and it went with the colour scheme fairly well so brrr

8-What’s your post with the most notes?

Probably this doodle of The Saint Electric from The Silt Verses. None of my posts ever blew up thank god

9- How many mutuals do you have?

33!

10- How many followers do you have?

87! It’s a small and cozy corner in here. Followers we should form a knitting circle

11- How many people do you follow?

75 (71 as of the second tag) I really cannot handle any more asjdjdkdf

12- Have you ever made a shitpost?

All of my posts are fine art actually

13- How often do you use Tumblr each day?

…too often

14- Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Yeah unfortunately :( anyways here’s your reminder kids it’s quick it’s easy it’s free turn off anon asks

15- How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I don’t have strong opinions on this

16- Do you like tag games?

LOVE getting tagged. TERRIBLE at responding <3

17- Do you like ask games?

I LOVE ask games

18-Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

Hi Zoph sorry Zoph. My deepest condolences to all my popular mutuals

19- Do you have a crush on a mutual?

No.

I’m terrible at tagging people so consider this an open tag! If you want to do this then go ahead I’ve officially tagged you :)

[nexility-sims]

𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐠.

i was tagged by @gracisims & @wildtree-garden​ !! tagging whoever’s reading this and hasn’t done it yet 

❧ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐮𝐫𝐥

nexility is a, to my knowledge, obscure word referring to “pithiness of speech” which is the opposite of me, so i use it ironically for blogs sometimes sjfdsgg as i’ve mentioned recently, i’m wondering if i should rebrand ... you know, add something denoting the history/royalty genres i’m in now ... hm.

❧ 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬

i have a cc finds side blog, but i never use it ... maybe someday !!!!!!

❧ 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫

i believe since around 2012.

❧ 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠

“queue’d” is my official one, but i usually tag queued posts with “tmz”

❧ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞

i discovered simblrs were a thing, and i wanted to join the community ! since i’ve returned, it’s because i wanted to tell stories and make friends w/ other storytellers. 

❧ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐧

it’s talullah, and she was my main sim when i remade this blog the second time. before that, it was edna. i guess it should be ro now, huh... 

❧ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

i don’t have a header ! if i add one, it’ll probably be one of those dramatic story-related ones all my favorite royal simblrs have.

❧ 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬

i think it’s the bachelorette party outfits preview i shared ! 

❧ 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞

i’m not sure ! at least a dozen, i would say, and perhaps ... 5+ whose posts i interact with on a regular basis. 

❧ 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞

well, i just hit 128 today ! this is but a small, humble enterprise :^) 

❧ 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰

217, apparently 

❧ 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭

not exactly ... ! believe it or not, i tend to overthink and rewrite every post too much for that asdkjfjgklfsh

❧ 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐝𝐚𝐲

TOO OFTEN, omg. i’m on mobile pretty much all day long, and then ofc posting on my laptop in the evenings. it’s less during the academic year, tho.

❧ 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭/𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞

not exactly, but i have been inadvertently part of some nasty drama that’s quite silly in retrospect. anyway, it’s a terrible thing; don’t argue with people online if you can help it :^( 

❧ 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 ‘𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬’ 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬

it depends on the cause, really.

❧ 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬

i adore them ! however, tagging people is lowkey stressful ... it’s like, “i see you as a friend, so i want you to do this fun thing, but what if you don’t see me that way ???” clownery on my part

❧ 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬

my absolute favorites !!!!! i adore them, sending or receiving. 

❧ 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬

internally, i shrieked when @royaldevilliers followed me back, so ... that’s one ! there are a few others, ofc, who are also too amazing to not be ! 

❧ 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥

all of them !! they’re all so smart and creative and talented and funny ... au where we all meet up at a park and have a picnic together ✨

[morethanaprincess-a]

I know this is quite a bit of time after I posted this meme, but I wanted to respond to all of the kind comments I received on the positivity meme when I really needed some last week! So I thought I’d save it for a Munday post, complete with pet tax beneath the cut. Mundays are better with pet tax, right?

@electricea

Thank you so much for your compliments, Jassi! I adore writing with you too, it’s so much fun coming up with new AUs for Ryuji and Sonia (and expanding on our established verses as well). You’re such a positive and encouraging person in the tumblr RPC and I’m pretty sure your dash agrees. Here’s to more IC adventures and me sending you ramen related news and saying “we’re working this into a thread, right? Right??”

Does Ryuji have the ramen pool float/raft already? Because that needs to happen.

@cadcnce

So uh, on a scale of 1-10 how mad will you be if I get a draft back to Eira by mid-week? To be fair, it’s not the same day please don’t point that gun at me

Joking (about what will likely happen on my dash) aside, I love writing with you and your many muses too! Bonus that we have plenty in common too, including being Old Muns with Old Mun Problems. Like roleplaying before tumblr and the fact that pogs are a bottle/milk cap game (I think I had close to 100 of them as an elementary school student, before I said I wanted beanie babies instead).

In short, I have so much fun both writing IC and just chatting about fandom and life OOC. Though the more I keep looking at Las Vegas-related things for RP research I’m just “Well, now I want to go and not gamble at all but do everything else.”

But I’ll finish with this: I do try to put my happiness first, and for me that’s when I’m writing every day and have a consistently-running queue. This is partly due to how organized I am about my work and my hobbies, and partly due to content creation and social media being a large part of my professional life. It’s not that tumblr RP is work, it’s that I can’t help but approach it, in a way, in a professional sense, taking in algorithms, patterns, activity, etc. into consideration. I look at a variety of statistics tumblr provides on my blog and often make judgement calls about content I post here that way.

It’s super nerdy and I know it. I also just can’t help it because it’s ingrained in me at this point: content planning, creation, calendars, analytics, etc. Pain for me is disorganization, a queue that isn’t updated, or answering asks/taking on more threads when I have replies I could write. 

@despairfiles​

Excuse me, every hour is Sin loving hours! Thank you so much for your encouraging feedback. You’re absolutely right: I’m definitely someone who likes to develop complex, long-term interactions over a variety of interesting situations. I know that can be frustrating sometimes with queued replies and wall-of-text replies, but it really is fun for me to show so much of a scene: the setting, the dialogue, the action, the thoughts and feelings. I tend to come up with most of my headcanons through threads at this point, too.

And I’m always going to say ‘challenge accepted’ when it comes to writing new stuff with Hajime and Shirou. If you feel compelled to bring Hajime back at some point I’m always here to write with you, and there’s so much story to tell with Sonia and Shirou too. I actually have a plot idea development for one of our verses on that front, I just haven’t put it into words yet!

Oh, and of course: Chatting OOC with you is one of the best parts of my day! Politics, spilling tea, me bemoaning that England lost Euro 2020 (the rest of the world doesn’t agree with me and I know it), you sharing your adorable dogs and wine sodas (I’m going to find the wine soda here. Somewhere.), agreeing that Lord El-Melloi II is a SNACC even if the fandom doesn’t agree with us, I adore it all. 

Seriously though I love him he is A++++ husbando material. This is where Sonia and I differ: she loves Shirou and I’m here just “He’s a professor who barely adults and realizes it is, indeed, a crisis when your favorite tearoom is closed. Husband material right here.”

@phantasmalcalamity​

Thank you so, so much for your compliments regarding my Sonia portrayal! That’s really nice of you! I’m not sure that my version is perfect by any means as plenty of people offer different takes on her, but I’m so glad you enjoy writing with her! Our Sonia/Gundham threads have been such a joy to write so far and I hope to continue and do more of them (without adding too much to your plate of course. I’m hoping you start feeling better, first and foremost!). You’re also wonderful to chat with OOC and I love seeing your costumes when you share them. It’s so cool having RP partners who are also cosplayers because you understand that unique struggle of “do I write drafts or do I work on costumes for upcoming con/event?”

I’m trying to balance both but it’s been interesting. Definitely after the fall cons/events I should have some more photoshoot stuff to share. I miss cons and photoshoots so much!

And as promised, some pet/life photo tax underneath the cut!

One of the two usual views I have when writing drafts/shitposting/chatting with you all on discord. Princess Molly received a new bed recently, befitting her royal status. She’s judging the quality of my drafts and wondering when she will be given pets.

And the other view I usually have while on tumblr. I’m missing Paris (and London. And Edinburgh. Let’s just put missing the U.K. and France in general here) quite a lot. I don’t know when I’ll get a chance to go back (probably whenever I go on my honeymoon), so I’m having a small taste of it at home. My family’s going next month, but work wouldn’t give me the time off to join them. 

The Laduree Marie Antoinette tea is my favorite version of the MA tea, and with shipping so expensive, it made sense to grab some macarons to go with it. 

I just miss Europe so much right now. Most of my off-tumblr friends are trying to plan trips to Japan next year, and I’m over here just “I actually miss Heathrow and Charles de Gaulle.”

[deadpooly]

forgotten dreams and faded stars

for the @mcu-christmas-exchange

written for @padraigendragon, i combined a few of your prompts and went for an endgame fix it! i really hope i did alright and that you enjoy it! 

I had this queued but it didnt post because it turns out it was in my drafts. a lot went on at home and i got preoccupied and recently remembered that i didnt post your work so here it is!! I apologize for it being late, that is on me 100%

***

When Tony snapped his fingers, he really wasn't expecting anything other than immense pain and death.

And that is exactly what he got.

He snapped and as he felt his breathing get shorter and heart slow down, he watched Peter cry over him and Rhodey give him a sad smile. He listened as Pepper told him it would be alright and he really believes her for the rest of his ending life because he loves her so much.

Then he looks past her and sees the destroyed look on Steve’s face and wishes he had a bit longer to make some things right.

Well, whatever was left to make right. In between the five years they seemed to rebuild the bridge and strengthen it because their friendship became more solid as time grew on. They still had their cold moments but every time after they forgave each other, nothing seemed so bad to keep them apart.

So Tony watched his closet family cry while he drifts away and looks Steve in the eye one more time before he sees him fall to his knees and suddenly Tony’s soul drifts from his body.

It actually felt more like he was being torn from his body. It didn't hurt, it kind of tickled actually, but it's a better analogy than drifting.

Tony Stark loved analogies. Something that he could use to help others understand something bigger. They can be simplified or stretched out and they can be calm and kind or harsh and painful to listen to. But they all get the point across.

When Tony was finally ripped from his body he was still present. He saw his corpse lying a few feet from him but he stood there and watched the scene play out before him. There was a pulling on his very soul trying to tear him from the earth but there was a deep presence of mourning and denial that continued to drag him down. 

It wasn't Pepper. God he already misses her, but she had always respected his decisions regardless of how dumb they were. It wasn't his best friend who had already spent a lifetime with him. And it wasn't Peter who only had a few precious years to get to know Tony. The boy was already too familiar with loss. 

It was Steve. Tony could feel his soul pulling him toward the man who broke down onto his knees and nearly started crying over a won battle.

Tony just looked at Steve and the single tear that cleaned a path down his dirty face. 

He wishes he could go over there and wipe it off his face. He can't though.

He’s a ghost. And that's the easiest way he could put the situation that he is in. Stuck in a world he can't interact with.

***

The first thing Tony noticed was that his soul unconsciously followed Steve Rogers around everywhere. If Tony wanted to go somewhere else, he just couldn't. He was pretty much stuck next to Steve’s side until the man decided he was done mourning Tony Stark.

Steve would go to bed and Tony would be sitting on the floor beside the bedside hoping to fall asleep or entertain himself. Sometimes he fell asleep, other times he somehow still had nightmares.

He attended his funeral, he still doesn't actually know where his body is, but he stood by Steve’s side and luckily he could rest a hand on Peter’s shoulder as the boy cried. He saw Morgan and Pepper together and knew that they were strong and would be alright.

Tony sometimes would forget he’s actually a ghost and would accidentally talk to Steve as if he could hear him.

“Your shoes untied.” Tony snorted and then he remembered he wasn't technically among the living and would huff in annoyance. Steve however would sniff and bend over to tie his shoe as if he heard Tony.

Steve was painting in his room and the canvas was clean except for the short brushes of a light orange dabbed throughout the large frame. Tony couldn't guess what the main object was going to be so he sat on a nearby stool and watched Steve scrunch up his face as he tried to create an image with colors.

“Why are you so complicated?” Steve whispered to the canvas. His arm wasn't raised ready to brush but it was lowered in surrender and defeat. “I could never get you right.”

Tony got up off of the stool and walked over to the canvas and sighed a sad smile.

“You always over analyze, there's a bigger picture and your focusing on the small things, Steve.” Tony dragged a ghost hand over the painting and stared at Steve’s conflicted face. “It looks amazing Steve,” Tony tried to reassure Steve of his painting.

The painting was Tony holding the iron man helmet in a place that looked like an orange heaven.

“Thank you, Tony.” Steve said and Tony froze in place, but Steve still did not acknowledge his astral presence.

***

The day quickly approached where Steve had to return the stones about a week after the funeral. Tony totally forgot that there were death rocks sitting around that needed to be put back. Also, he noticed that the wait was caused by a new healthy and alive Hank Pym creating more particles. Tony watched Steve decline Sam’s help and give his goodbye to Barnes. Then while Tony was expecting to be left behind since he was not in possession of time travel equipment, the machine started and Tony was being dragged along with Steve.

***

First stop was going back to the camp in New Jersey back in the 70s Tony was pretty amused at how horrible Steve was at lying to try to get the stone back where it was, given that he actually didn't know where the tesseract was in the first place. 

Tony would tell him where to go but Steve would go the exact other way because being a ghost sucks. Steve was in a hallway with a bunch of doors which lead into peoples offices. Then Steve took the stairs to a lower level and walked around until he somehow found a science-y looking lab.

Steve was walking down the hall then an office door opened and he literally ran into one Peggy Carter.

Then Tony sighed in hopeless jealousy as he watched Steve begin to panic and fluster. Shit.

“Steve?” Peggy gasped but shook her head and blinked a couple of times.

There, right there was Peggy Carter and Tony could facepalm because he suddenly knew that this task was going to get drawn out longer than it needed to.

Steve was frozen, he couldn't move. There was a tinge of red on his cheeks and his eyes told Tony a story of longing that could make his ghostly heart nearly hurt.

“Yeah Peg?” Steve replied. It was simple but coming out of Steve’s mouth like that, it sounded like it repatched a hundred moments stolen from Steve and frozen out of Peggy’s grasp.

The disbelief was written all over Peggy’s face, and the dying hope was burning off of Steve’s.

Dumbass, we need to get out of here or a timeline might get created. Tony tried to whisper into Steve’s ear. It sounds harsh but Tony just might be a little cranky that Steve is paying attention to a past jewel more than he is to Tony. Not that he could pay attention to him.

“How are you here?” she asked, getting straight to the questions and looking for answers. Typical Peggy Carter.

“Long story, time travel.” Steve said as if that would explain anything. Tony rolled his eyes. “I may need you help.” he then pulled the space stone out of his pocket with his gloved hand and held it out towards Peggy. “This is the tesseract, earlier I came here and stole it and I need to put it back.”

“You what?” Peggy asked in disbelief. “You were already here?”

“Is it May right now?” 

“No, its June fifth, 1970. Howard just got back, should I get him?” Peggy took out a device that looked like an early phone but before she could do anything with it, Steve stopped her.

“No, no. I just need to know where the lab is.” Steve asked urgently, some people in lab coats walked by and Peggy dragged Steve to the side and Tony just stayed in the middle of the hallway watching Peggy and Steve interact. It was like a beautiful reunion scene in a romance movie where Tony suddenly no relation to the person he loved and all he could do was stand by and watch as the protagonist ran back to the past.

Steve was absolutely adorable when he blushed and Tony loved him so much for it.

At this point Tony just allowed himself to get dragged along with Steve’s body. He didn't listen to the conversations, because why would he? He’s dead it wouldn't really matter. He watched Steve blush and Peggy smile and he also watched the anxiety creep over Steve because he knew that this would last and he would have to leave. Nothing could stop the jealousy from flooding Tony and the mourning that clearly engulfed Steve all over again when the stone was put back and the two said their goodbyes.

The process, as Tony had predicted, was long and drawn out because of the bump in and all Tony could do was try not to listen to a private moment no matter how much he just wanted to drag Steve away.

The reality stone was fast. Quickly injected into one unsuspecting Jane Foster. Tony thought there was probably a better way to handle it rather than re-infecting one of earth's smartest scientists with a reality check. But Steve being Steve, he likes things put back the way they were.

The mind stone was quicker, Steve just stuck it in a case lying around the tower, which he broke into and actually spoke to Jarvis. But this only happened after Tony spent five minutes watching Steve mutter and disregard ideas to himself.

“Hey Jarvis?” Steve asked, his head looking up at the ceiling, Tony thought it was adorable.

“How may I assist you, Captain Rogers?” the clear voice answered. Tony smiled at the familiarity of the AI while a grin brightened Steve’s face. Tony’s heart tightened at the sight.

“I need to get this case to Tony.” Steve paused and took a breath. “But without interacting with him,” Steve paused, then decided that’s all he wanted to say.

“I have several different ways I am able to transport the case to Mr. Stark without physical contact.” 

“Thanks” Steve said in reply with a single tear streaming down his face, and Tony feeling like his celestial body is thrumming with energy. 

***

Time stone was as simple as a stop by the sanctum. And that was it. Before the old wizard lady stopped Steve and Tony from leaving.

“Mr. Rogers.” she said clearly catching his attention. “You may have to watch what you do, you never know who may be paying attention to your actions.” Tony froze and looked at the woman and waved and smiled when he got the slightest motion of a hand back.

“Still by your side Rogers.” Tony whispered into Steve’s ear when they started travelling to a new location.

***

All Steve did for the power stone was thrown it in its dog cage where he believes it was found, then he just left. 

Tony just scoffed at him and laughed because yeah, this shit is getting old and he just wants to go home.

***

Then came the soul stone.

***

The climb up the large mountain was long, it was suffering, and it was painful. For Steve. Tony just sort of awkwardly floated knowing that wherever Steve went, Tony would also go. And he was not complaining.

They reached the top and Steve took a minute to allow his legs to slightly rest and he pulled out the soul stone holding it in his bare palm. He stared at the stone and slowly began stepping forwards until a voice called out to them.

“Steven Rogers, son of Sarah and Joseph Rogers.”

Shit.

Steve straightened and pulled his shield out immediately pocketing the stone getting ready to pounce on the speaker.

“Anthony Stark, son of Maria and Howard Stark.”

Uh what?

Tony froze and Steve’s look darkened.

“Shmidt.”

“Ah, Captain Rogers. I'm afraid you have come to return the stone.” Shmidt said.

“Why are you here. You should be dead.” Steve asked urgently. “And why did you say that name?”

“I am just stating the names of those who are present, naive Captain.” the figure floated forward and the blood red skull stood out against its black hood. “All those years ago, when I seeked power disregarding the consequences, the punishment had delivered me here to guard the stone for all the many years to come.”

Steve swallowed uncomfortably and Tony wanted to reach out and tell him to leave the stone and escape.

“Have your punishments come to catch you yet Captain?” Shmidt asked, and Steve stepped forward and punched him right through the face. Except his hand passed through what he thought would be flesh.

“Face it captain, you cannot try to finish me anymore. I am not among the living, just as your friend beside you. I know what you came here to do.” Shmidt said before he faded out and Steve was left with the stone in his palm and one Tony Stark beside him.

“I want Tony back.” Steve whispered, his grip hard on the stone before he let it drop and he closed the helmet on and disappeared to the future.

Tony felt sick and then it all went black.

***

When Steve returned to the compound, he was alone besides Bruce, Sam and Bucky waiting there for him. He walked off of the platform and dropped onto one knee. Tears gathered into his eyes and his head was bowed.

Then there was noise and Steve blocked it out as he tried to greive, then there were warm arms being wrapped around him and he froze before looking up into the warm smile being given to him.

“Tony.” Steve breathed.

“Steve.” was all Tony said before he grabbed for Steve’s hand and kissed it, then Steve launched forward and embraced Tony like someones life depended on it.

“I was with you the whole time.” Tony told him.

“I felt you. I missed you more than I thought I would.” Steve replied. “I love you Tony.”

“You know what Steve?” Tony asked with his eyes rimming with tears. “I think I love you too.”

Their hands tightened together and Tony never felt more alive in Steve’s arms. 

[serensama]

Hiatus? Maybe.

Hi everyone,

So last night, I wanted to delete my blog.

Not that anything had happened or anything like that it was just- something that seemed right at the time. It was a sudden feeling but I figured that I would sleep on it and re-evaluate in the morning. It’s morning... and I still kinda want to.

Tumblr used to be just for my own personal enjoyment and somehow along the way it became part of my routine to come on everyday and perhaps since the end of 2017 I’ve been pulling away from most social media in general. Tumblr is just the latest addition to a small but growing list of places that have made me want to go back into really being present in my current life, real life.

I’ve met some amazing people on here, some that I talk to everyday and have built fantastic relationships with that mean the world to me. There are some people I have met on here that have made me in a lifeline of sorts, reaching out when they needed help or just someone to yell into the void with- and I’m so happy to have been part of that. If I helped anyone along the way- I am grateful. May you all continue on your journey and may you all be happy.

I don’t know yet if I’m going to delete my blog, I don’t know yet if I’ll publish the current stories of my masterlist up on AO3 if I do delete it. I don’t know if after my hiatus I’ll be back. I’m just trying to figure things out as to what I want and need.

So my plan is to finish posting whatever is in my drafts as I have a few more Mm related fanart things etc that need to be posted and then my queued posts will continue on for another two months and then... who knows. All I know is that taking a step back felt right last night and now in the clear light of day, it feels ever better.

This doesn’t mean you can’t contact me on here for the meantime, I’ll still answer messages so long as this blog is still up- and I will let you all know if I do definitively decide to close up shop. It only seems fair.

Anyways, just thought I’d let you all know as I haven’t really talked to you guys in a while. Be well and always take care. Here or not, I love you all and will forever wish only the best for you all ❤️❤️❤️

[xxwritemeastoryxx]

Forgotten Alliance Ch 21

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: Elijah Mikaelson x OC with other parings mentioned throughout.

Word Count: 6.1K

Warnings: Canon Typical things

Author’s Note: As a reminder, FA can be found on ffnet up to chapter 42. I am uploading chapters here on tumblr for convenience. I decided against tagging this until new chapters are posted. If you would like to be tagged please let me know! Chapters are queued and will be posted randomly. Chapter from here on out are not aligned with any episodes.  Enjoy

Elizabeth,

I know this letter my come as a shock to you, but you really are the only one I have left that understands what we are going through. Its been six months and I have managed to find a place to call home, for now. I have looked into where you said the cure for Rebekah would be and I must hand it to you, you knew what you were talking about. I am glad I did leave Hope behind, they had some legend that had some relation to her. I just hope that in the future this isn't something we have to deal with. I do not want to have my daughter ever dealing with that place, like ever. While I have Rebekah's cure I cant help to wonder where you are on your end of finding things. How is that going? Do I need to come and help in anyway? Sitting here doing nothing isn't helping ease my mind in anyway. I want our family whole again. I want Hope to be able to see her father some time soon. That had always been my worst fear. For Hope to grow up without one or both of her parents. While I can continuously tell her stories of her father and aunts and uncles, I can tell she feels that things are different. I feel that Hope knows that her family isn't going to be around and I hate for her to grow up like that. I hope what ever plan it is that you have is working out in your favor. Just know that if you ever begin to feel lonely out there in New Orleans, you aren't alone. I have decided to put our differences aside. You are the only family Hope has left. I'd rather not keep her away from someone that has stronger connection to her uncle then I will ever have or understand.

While I would say be safe out there, I don't think that applies to you. You are the unkillable one.

Hayley

Elizabeth laughed and shook her head as she placed the letter down on the desk in her room. She ran her hand through her hair before noticing that her hair had blood in it. Rolling her eyes slightly she stood and actually looked at herself in the mirror. She was currently covered in blood and hadn't bothered cleaning herself off just yet. She had just gotten back to the compound after a long day of 'persuading' a few vampires. Seeing as Elizabeth and Vincent were trying to bring some peace back to the city, some of the vampires didn't agree and as punishment, Elizabeth did what she thought was necessary.

In the past six months, Elizabeth managed to focus more on New Orleans. Restoring the balance between the supernatural beings and the humans had managed to make its way up to the top of her easy list. It was easier to deal with the cities problems as they came. While Elizabeth knew that other things were far more important, this had been more of her day job and her weekday job. Come nightfall and those weekends, Elizabeth was out doing everything she possibly could to find the cures she needed. Tonight, she had would be going to check on the progress of been close to finding Freya's cure.

Elizabeth sighed as she walked into the bathroom and grabbed a wash rag to wipe off the blood. Looking in the mirror, she seen that blood not only covered her hair, but most of her face and clothes. She shook her head slightly and got most of the blood out of her hair and was about to change when there was a knock on her room door. Putting the towel down, she walked out to her room and saw Vincent standing there in the doorway.

"Yes?" She asked as she looked at him for a moment before walking towards her closet.

"They are here." Vincent said from his spot. Elizabeth sighed and nodded.

"I am going to change and then I will be down there." She said before grabbing some clothes from the closet.

"I'll tell them you'll be down in five then." He said before turning away from the door.

"Make it three." Elizabeth said walking behind the changing wall.

Elizabeth sat at the head of the table. Sitting with her at the table with her was, Mary, Vincent and the Mayor of New Orleans. This had actually been the first time they had met since Elizabeth got everyone to agree on that they need for peace between them. Mary had been there representing the Wolves while Hayley was gone. Vincent of course was there for the witches and the mayor for the humans.

"Now, my proposal is simple," Elizabeth said as she looked at everyone. "I would like for us to actually live in peace here in the city. In doing so, I know we will hit some bumps along the way." She looked over at Vincent for a moment. "Having the witches practice magic is their right, no one should keep them from doing what they were born to do." She then looked at Mary and gave her a small smile. "I would like for your people to feel welcomed to live in the city without fear of a witch or a vampire placing some kind of curse on them or without them feeling that they have been forced to stay in the Bayou forever." She looked over at the Mayor. "As always the people of New Orleans are the most important. I'd like for the past terms of keeping the locals safe and allowing vampires to only feed off the tourists to be left intact."

"What about the Vampires, Elizabeth?" Mary asked and Elizabeth gave a smirk as she looked at them.

"Marcel had a loyalty thing where many of them walked the night and it took loyalty and trust to earn a daylight ring. I would like to keep that the same. But, I will not hesitate to put the fear in any vampire that does not follow some of my own rules that I will have enforced. The vampires that have been living in the city and have been following the rules are more than welcome to stay, the others..." Elizabeth shrugged slightly. "They will be handled how I see fit."

"Which is what?" The Mayor asked. "Keep them in some cement prison like Marcel had?"

"Look," Vincent said looking over at him. "Elizabeth invited me earlier to watch a meeting she had with the vampires that reside in the city. While some had agreed to what Elizabeth was saying, a few had threatened and even attempted afterwards to harm one of the witches. Elizabeth did not hesitate to stop them and punish them in front of the others. Her sentencing seems fit to me for what they had done."

"And what sentence was that?"Mary asked looking at Elizabeth.

"Death." She said as if it had been nothing that she had just killed several vampires.

"So you plan to kill any vampire that just decides to break one of your rules?"

"When you are able to put fear into someone that knows you incapacitated the originals, it works wonders. Some will rebel and I will show no mercy for those that wish to cause trouble within the city."

"What about the Originals?" The Mayor asked. "From my understanding you still have Klaus Mikaelson's body hidden within this compound. What makes you think the others will not return for their brother?"

Elizabeth didn't answer right away. She sighed softly before looking at the Mayor. "The others will not be returning anytime soon. A witch has put them into a deep sleep and will not wake until she allows them to. Their lives are currently tied to their brother's life. That is the reason I have him hidden. Killing him means killing them."

"Where is the problem in that?" He asked with a smile. "Killing them kills their lines if I am not mistaken."

"Klaus's sire line had been severed." Elizabeth shook her head. "You would still have those he turned running about in the world. And I would not be here to stop them from having their fun in your city."

"How would you not be here? Aren't you an original now?" Mary asked.

Elizabeth chuckled. "While that may be true, my life is still connected to Elijah. Killing him might as well be signing my own death sentence. So keeping them alive for now is the best thing we have." She said with a small sigh. "But I won't lie to you, there will be a time where they return."

Before the Mayor or Mary could voice there worries with the originals returning, Vincent looked to them. "But when they do, they will be under Elizabeth's rules."

Mary scoffed. "And what happens the first time Elijah breaks one of your rules?" She asked looking at Elizabeth. "I watched Hayley change her views for that man before you came along and she sided with him even when he was in the wrong. How is it you will be able to give him a punishment if your life is tied to him?"

The thoughts alone hurt Elizabeth. She never wanted to even think about killing Elijah. And while he was currently sleeping in a coffin who knows where because of her, it still hurt to even think about the possibility of having to harm Elijah because of her rules. "We will cross that bridge if it ever comes." She said looking at Mary. "I don't see them coming home any time soon." Elizabeth stood from her seat. "That is all I have to say. I'd like for you to think on what I have said. Talk about it among your people and the next time we meet, we can go over anything you may wish to change." Elizabeth watched as they rest of them nodded and stood up from their seats and began to walk out of the room. She turned and started walking towards the opposite doorway that would lead back towards her room.

"Elizabeth." She heard Mary call out to her and she turned around.

"Yes?"Elizabeth asked as she took a few steps towards the woman.

"Have you heard anything from Hayley?" She asked.

Elizabeth nodded. "I received a letter from her today. She's safe, Mary."

"What is the point of her leaving the city and taking them with her?" Mary asked shaking her head.

"Because of mistakes I've made." Elizabeth said nodding slightly. "I asked her to take them out of the city and to find somewhere to stay. To start over in a way."

"Her people are here, Elizabeth." Mary said shaking her head. "She shouldn't be out there protecting them."

"That was her choice Mary. She decided to help me. She could have said to hell with me because I basically took the one person she actually loved away from her and right after, I incapacitated her daughter's father. But instead she didn't and she helped me out. She will come back here eventually. But right now, the safest place for her is being somewhere no one knows where. Klaus still has enemies out there even though the word has spread of what I've done. They wont hesitate to go after his loved one just so when he is no longer incapacitated that he will find that his family is gone. That is why I had her leave." Elizabeth took a few steps back. "If you'll excuse me, I have somewhere I need to be." She said before turning and walking away from Mary.

Elizabeth had driven two hours out of the city to reach a medical lab that she had found a month into her search for Freya's cure. Getting out of the car, Elizabeth walked to the back entrance and opened the door. Walking through the back of the lab, she walked down to the end of the hallway before making a right and opening the first door she saw. Inside she found woman looking through a microscope and she never once took her eyes off of it even as Elizabeth walked towards her.

"Something interesting?" Elizabeth asked as she reached the table where the woman stood.

"Always, Liz, always." She said as she adjusted the focus a bit before pulling her eyes away from the microscope.

"Is this interesting thing what I asked you to look into or is it something else?" Elizabeth had just been curious.

"Yours actually." The woman said as she wrote something down on a piece of paper before turning to look at Elizabeth.

"Please tell me you have something Lily." Elizabeth wanted to feel some excitement that this had only taken as long as it did to find the cure. But if there was nothing, she didn't want to feel the disappointment.

"I actually do." Lily said before picking up her notes. "I don't have the antidote just yet, but I feel close to getting it."

"How close are we talking?" Elizabeth asked watching as Lily got up from her seat and made her way to a filing cabinet.

"I'd say if I am lucky, another four or five months just to be sure." Elizabeth nodded feeling the disappointment slowly set in. Lily seen the look on her face. "Hey, you gave me a blood sample with a poison that I have never seen before, you even stumped my colleagues. Being four or five months out to finding the antidote is pretty damn impressive."

Elizabeth sighed. "Its good news, Lily. It is. I'm just disappointed in myself that I let my hopes get up thinking you already had it."

Lily smiled and chuckled. "I know I am pretty damn good at my job, but I am not that good to find an antidote in three months." Elizabeth smiled at the girl. She had been right though. Elizabeth had wanted Lily specifically. Elizabeth had stayed up several nights trying to find someone who could make an antidote for the poison that Freya had running through her system. Elizabeth had reached several dead end until she came across Lily. Lily had taken the challenge and hasn't stopped working on it.

"What ever it is that you are doing, Lily keep doing it." Elizabeth said with a nod.

Lily grimaced at her words. "I would, but I need another sample."

Elizabeth understood. She knew that the two vials of blood that she had taken from Freya would only last so long. She should have gotten more than that. Another sigh passed her lips and she nodded. "How much of it do you have left?" She asked.

"I have enough to get about another day of test trials. But after tomorrow, It wont be enough to do anything at all." Lily explained.

"I'll get it for you." Elizabeth said already trying to think of what to do. She could give Hayley a call, but she wasn't sure if Hayley had changed her number or anything.

"How would you even get another sample?" Lily asked. "From the rate this poison is moving, whoever had it should be dead by now."

Elizabeth chuckled. "She's not dead yet." She got wide eyes as an answer to her statement.

"H-how is she not?" She asked.

"That would be one of those if I told you I'd have to kill you and you wouldn't get paid type of things." Elizabeth said with a smile. It seemed like Lily understood right away as to what Elizabeth meant. She watched at Lily turned and opened a drawer. Once she had what was needed, she turned to Elizabeth and handed her a kit. "Thank you again Lily. I'll give you a call the moment I have a sample."

"Or just drop in like you usually do." Lily said with a shrug. "I never really leave here."

Elizabeth smiled. "Maybe if you get that antidote for me, after I pay you you should get out and actually see the world."

"We'll see." Lily said with a smile. Without another word, Elizabeth turned and walked out of the room and back out to her car.

Once she was in her car, she rested her head on the head rest. It had only been six months. That's all it had been. Yet, she was feeling like it was taking so much longer than she thought it would be to find the cures she needed. Another four or five months would get the antidote for Freya. That's how much time before she knew she had to do the one thing she wasn't looking forward to. Sighing she pulled out her phone and scrolled through it for Hayley's number. Finding it, she hesitated a moment before pressing call.

Hello? Hayley answered before the fourth ring.

"It's Liz." Elizabeth said into the phone.

I wasn't expecting a call from you anytime soon, honestly.

"I know." She said. "I got your letter today."

Yeah, I needed someway to vent out some feelings. But what I did say in there was true.

"I believe you." She nodded even though Hayley couldn't see her. "I'll have to take you up on that offer of getting out of New Orleans for a few days."

Things not going as planned? She could hear the worry in Hayley's voice.

"They are going just as planned. Speaking of which, Mary is worrying about you."

You spoke to Mary? There was disbelief in her voice.

"I needed someone from the wolves to act as a representative. It didn't take much convincing." Elizabeth shrugged.

Why didn't you ask me? I would have went back there.

"No." She shook her head. "The point was to get out of New Orleans and hide them. Mary stepped up and that was all I needed."

Elizabeth heard her sigh. How are things going with Freya's cure?

"It's getting pretty close. But that is what I was actually calling about."

What's wrong?

"I need a few more vials of Freya's blood. Lily needs it to finish the antidote she is working on."

Lily?

"Right, you dont know who she is. She's the best person I could find that is good at making antidotes for things that don't have one. She's close Hayley."

Alright, I'll text you the address. Should I be expecting you sometime tonight or tomorrow? Elizabeth looked at the time on her phone. It was already late.

"I'll be there sometime tomorrow." She decided.

I will see you tomorrow then. Without another word, they both hung up. Elizabeth kept her head back on the head rest and waited for a moment. If they were only six months into this whole thing, and had the cure for Rebekah and almost the cure for Freya, it wouldn't take much longer until they had the cure for her bite. But that in it's own was something she hoped that she could do with just the help of Lily. Unfortunately, only time would tell.

By the time it was well after noon, Elizabeth had already been almost to Hayley's house. She wasn't sure what she was going to expecting when she got there. She wondered if Freya already had the blood ready for her or would she allow her to see their bodies for a few moments. Elizabeth wondered where it was that Hayley was keeping them at. Part of her came up with what she had done to Malakai for all those years, a family crypt. But feeling like she knew Hayley a bit, Elizabeth thought that Hayley would want to keep them close. They needed to be close together for when she got all the cures for them.

When Elizabeth pulled up the address, she looked at the house she had pulled up to. It was decent enough for them to not look suspicious of anything. It had a nice yard and it had several of Hope's toys sitting in the corner by the front door. Elizabeth looked around and noticed that there were other families around them. She was blending in well. Elizabeth headed up the sidewalk up to the front door before knocking.

Hayley opened the door a minute later and invited Elizabeth in. They politely smiled at each other as Elizabeth walked in and Hayley closed the door behind her. As Elizabeth looked around the house, she could see that Freya had been busy the last few months. There were several pictures hanging on the walls. Some looked like they had been taken before she had left New Orleans while others were more obvious that they had been from afterwards.

"I'm gonna be completely honest with you Hayley." Elizabeth said as she turned and looked to Hayley. "I wasn't expecting you to find anything residential."

Hayley laughed. "Were you expecting something surrounded by trees or moats?" Hayley asked walking towards the kitchen.

Elizabeth followed her and nodded. "Exactly what I was expecting."

"Well, sorry to burst your bubble." Hayley said as she washed her hands and went back to what she had started cooking before Elizabeth had came. "But you wont find any of that here."

"That may be a good thing." Elizabeth said leaning on the island. "This seems like the perfect place to raise Hope." Hayley looked over at Elizabeth.

"I don't plan on raising her here for long, Liz." She said shaking her head. "As soon as all the cures have been found and they are awake, we are going back to New Orleans."

"We don't know how long that will take Hayley." Elizabeth said sighing. "Yes, we have the cure for Rebekah. Give it another five months and we will have one for Freya. But what about them? You had that lab destroyed with all the research they had been doing. I don't know how long it is going to take to get a cure made."

"A year is what it took for Lucien to make the damn thing."

"I'm not him. I don't have that type of man power to do what he did. But then again, he was creating something to kill them, we are trying to find a way to cure it. It could take some time."

"Time that she spends away from her father." Hayley sighed and shook her head. "Look, Liz, I am trying to hold on to the hope that we can get this done before she's old enough to actually care that we will have to move or that we are leaving her friends behind or if it even gets to that point where she will want to stay behind because of a boyfriend. Either way, he is going to miss it all and I can't do anything about it. She needs her father."

Elizabeth sighed and looked down at her hands. Elizabeth didn't know what it was like to grow up without a father figure in her life. At the same time, she knew the feeling of not having exactly what you wanted for your child. "We'll get through this, Hayley. She said looking back up at her. "You know I will try everything I can to make sure we get them awake and cured before that little girl is dating and wanting to make decisions on her own."

Hayley nodded. "Good. Because even I know as much as Hope needs her father, you need to see Elijah as well. I know living several hours away from him, even if he is in a deep sleep, must be hard."

"It is at times." Elizabeth admitted. "There are nights where I think all of this is just a bad dream and when I wake up and find the compound empty, I know its all real." She sighed and thought for a moment. "Where are you even keeping them?" She asked Hayley.

"Below your feet." Hayley said with a small smile. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and Hayley chuckled. "There is a basement. I keep them down there. Hiding them anywhere else just seemed to dangerous."

"Good to know." Elizabeth said with a nod. "On the way over here I was honestly racking my brain with ideas of where you would have hidden them."

Hayley smiled and looked at the time. "Why don't you go down there and get the blood you need and visit him for a minute." She said walking over to a door and unlocking it with a key. "Afterwards we can have dinner and if you'd like you can stay the night and leave in the morning. I know Hope has been dying for a familiar face."

Elizabeth nodded and began walking towards the door. "Where is Hope anyway?"

"Taking a nap. " Hayley said with a nod. "Without one, that girl would be running around this house non stop, believe me." Elizabeth smiled at the thought of Hope running around causing trouble for Hayley.

"She's going to be trouble when she gets older." She said as she started making her way down the stairs.

"Tell me about it." Hayley said shaking her head. "Oh, Freya is on the far right and Elijah on the far left." She called down almost forgetting to tell Elizabeth. It would make things easier for her instead of having to open each on up to find out who was inside each one.

"Thanks." Elizabeth called up as she reached the bottom step. She looked around the basement and sighed. All four coffins had been lined up almost in the same way they had been in the moving truck six months ago. She walked over to Elijah's and ran her hand along the lid before turning and walking towards Freya. Lifting the lid up, looked down at Freya and smiled a little. Pulling out the kit Lily had given her, she went to work on getting what she needed.

When she finished pulling out the blood she needed from Freya and stuck them in her pocket. She looked down at Freya one last time and sighed. "So close, Freya and then I will only have to worry about your brothers." She closed the lid and looked at the other coffins. She walked over to Elijah's and hesitated opening it. She knew that there would be no changes. He would just be asleep. She knew he was waiting for her to find the cure for him. And while she wondered what it was he was going through that head of his, she would never know until he woke up. She had no idea what Freya had done with the spell. For all Elizabeth knew, they were all stuck in their own heads until they would be awoken.

Finally making a decision, Elizabeth lifted the lid. Looking down at his sleeping form, she smiled slightly. It was good to see him, but this didn't feel the same at all. She wanted to see the light in his eyes and to see the color return to his face. he ran her hand along his cheek and shook her head. "One cure down, another almost done and then there will be yours. " She said to him even though she knew he couldn't hear her. "I'm trying. I promise."

Elizabeth heard something behind her and she turned around. She found Hope standing there holding a teddy bear. Elizabeth smiled at her. "Does mom let you come down here?" She asked. Her answer was a huge grin and a shake of the little girl's head. Elizabeth chuckled and shook her head before walking over to Hope and picking her up. "I won't tell her if you don't."

Hope nodded and then pointed towards Elijah's coffin. Elizabeth looked back and realized she hadn't closed the lid. Walking back over to it, she was getting ready to close the lid when Hope reached for her hand.

"No." She said almost giving Elizabeth a glare. Elizabeth raised her eyebrow and looked at Hope.

"I'm getting a glare from an almost three year old." She said sighing. "Okay Hope, we can look at Uncle Elijah for a few minutes before I take you back upstairs." She took a step closer to the coffin and leaned over it a bit for Hope to see. It seemed like the moment she saw that Elijah was laying there, a smile grew on her face. Elizabeth smiled and placed her hand on top of Elijah's. As slightly awkward it was to be having a moment of just looking at him with his niece in her arms, it had been nice. She just wished that she could actually see them. Elizabeth had closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she was no longer in the basement.

Elizabeth held Hope close to her as she looked around at where they were. Elizabeth had been confused as she saw a green grass field. One moment she had been looking down at Elijah and the next, she was wherever she was with Hope. She turned in a circle as she looked around her before looking at Hope. "Your mom is going to kill me." She said as she began walking in a direction she had no clue where it would lead to. After walking for a bit, a house was seen in the distance.

Elizabeth sighed and when she looked down at Hope. She seemed have a huge grin on her face and began pointing towards the house. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and looked towards where Hope was pointing towards. There was movement in the house and Elizabeth couldn't quiet tell who was in there, but who ever it was, it seemed like Hope was excited to see them.

"Down." Hope said looking at Elizabeth. She wanted out of her arms and to be standing on her own.

"I'm not so sure that is a good idea, Hope." Elizabeth said as she continued walking. She didn't know where they were or who was in the house. She wasn't sure she could trust this place with the child.

"Down." Hope whined as she attempted to push herself down Elizabeth's body. Elizabeth sighed and placed her down on the ground but securely placing the girl's hand in hers. Just as they were about to start walking, Elizabeth heard the front door being opened.

"I'm telling you, I sense another witch here." Elizabeth heard a woman say. She picked up Hope once more and hid behind the hedge that surrounded a garden. She looked to Hope and held a single finger up to her lips gesturing for Hope to stay silent.

"How is it even possible? This was a spell you created." A man said and it caused Elizabeth to freeze in her spot. She knew that voice anywhere. She felt her heart speed up at the simple hope that this wasn't her mind playing tricks on her.

"What is it?" Another man asked.

"It's like I can feel that she is so close. Almost as if she is right here with us." That was all the confirmation Elizabeth needed and she moved herself and Hope out of their hiding spot and rounded the corner into the garden where she saw them standing there.

"It's because I am." There was excitement in her voice and she watched as they all turned towards them. At first there was a shocked looked on their faces to see them there and then they were replaced with grins.

"I knew I felt another witch." Freya said looking at Hope. Elizabeth placed Hope down on the ground once more and it seemed that Hope had been excited to see Freya that she ran to the woman. Freya and Rebekah laughed and smiled at Hope as Freya picked her up.

Elijah seemed to be holding a breath since he had turned and seen Elizabeth and Hope standing there. He couldn't believe it at first and even as his niece ran past him, it didn't seem real. Even as he watched as Elizabeth walk towards him, he wasn't sure she was real. The last six months he had not seen her face or even heard her voice. And right now, he didn't know how to act.

"She is standing right in front of you if that is what you are wondering." Kol said leaning into his brother for a moment. It caused Elijah to shake his head and Elizabeth to chuckle as she looked at the brothers.

"Kol," Elizabeth said giving him a slight nod. He returned the nod with one of his own and turned and went with his sisters and his niece.

It seemed that the moment Kol walked away, that was all the two had needed. Elijah took a step closer to her and pulled her to him before bringing his lips down to hers. They both had no idea how long she would be where they were. There was no way to tell if one moment she would be there with him still in his arm or if with in the next minute she would be back in the real world. What scared them both the most was if she disappeared in a moment and she wasn't able to return. They would both have to wait until he awoke. They were clinging on to each other as if it was their last.

[bolddeducktionneverfails]

An Update on The Depths of “Gander”: Issue 18!

(Continued from here)

Back in December, I speculated about Issue 18 possibly giving us hints about a future situation regarding Della's return. I observed Cover B and noticed how the moon was present and how the mysterious submarine pilot had a space-vibe about her appearance despite being someone from underwater.

I've been anticipating to read it ever since. (And apparently many others did too, due to the fact that the issue is sold out on Atomic Empire as I’m typing this!) Now that it’s finally released...oh boy, do I have some things to say.

(Please read the comic book first. Lots of spoilers ahead.)

We find out early on that the Mysterious Submariner is a queen named “Diane”. Her name begins with a “D” and it has Greek origins in relation to the Moon. Amusingly enough, I was mislead into thinking her name was “Stella” based on the way Atomic Empire listed the comic, yet she still ended up having a Space-related name.

It’s implied that she’s a tough girl who’s skillful with weapons, such as swords, and she enjoys taking risks. Launchpad thinks of her when he looks into the night sky.

Fʀᴏᴍ "Bᴇᴡᴀʀᴇ ᴏғ Tʜᴇ B.U.D.D.Y Sʏsᴛᴇᴍ!", Lᴀᴜɴᴄʜᴘᴀᴅ ʜᴀs ɢʟᴏᴡ-ɪɴ-ᴛʜᴇ-ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴍᴏᴏɴs ᴀɴᴅ sᴛᴀʀs ᴏᴠᴇʀ ʜɪs ʜᴀᴍᴍᴏᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴀʀᴀɢᴇ. Hᴇ ᴀʟsᴏ ʜᴀs Cʜʀɪsᴛᴍᴀs ʟɪɢʜᴛs ᴅʀᴀᴘᴇᴅ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ʜɪs ʙᴀɴɪsᴛᴇʀ. Tʜɪs ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʜɪs sʟᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ ᴀʀᴇᴀ ᴀ ʙɪᴛ ʀᴇᴍɪɴɪsᴄᴇɴᴛ ᴏғ sᴘᴀᴄᴇ/ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ sᴋʏ.

Every time Launchpad brings Diane up in conversation he gets ignored. It’s a trend in the show that whenever he constantly gets ignored about something, it leads to something else worth paying attention to: Constantly being ignored about being a pilot led to helping to save Scrooge after he struggled to stop Pixiu and played a part in discovering why Scrooge was being so ignorant of the word “pilot”. LP's constant fear about one of the children being evil was disregarded even though Magica was nearby. If it weren't for Launchpad being determined to let Scrooge know about getting his driver's license, Fenton may have never became Gizmoduck.

Whatever Launchpad “knows a lot about”, there’s a good chance that he’s going to be ignored at first, but then the others realize how relevant he is.

There was a lot of focus on the Sun in the “Toth-Ra” episode, another example of Launchpad proving to be important. Could this have been alluding to him doing something surprising when the Moon is involved?

The comic takes place ENTIRELY at night despite Cover A taking place during the afternoon. This gives Cover B even more significance.

The story takes place in a dark environment with a body of water, just like “Gander” and “Depths”. As I brought up in my previous post, multiple comparisons can be made between being in space and being underwater. The show highlighted this when Fethry referred to the Mid-Atlantic Ridge as “liquid space” and LP called it “the underwater sky”.

I’m intrigued by the artists seeing Diane as so important, that they placed her on one of the covers instead of keeping her design hidden within the story. This is the first time we've seen any of Launchpad’s reboot exes up close; let alone get to met any of them. The show never gave us a glimpse of Ziyi and we still don’t know what type of mermaid Oceanika is. This comic could definitely be hinting that the next lover we see on screen will be just as close. (Or even closer.)

Diane caused such a commotion, a tsunami warning was issued out.

Multiple people were alerted by her arrival, could Della contact Earth and it causes enough interference that a lot of people end up receiving her message?

Scrooge isn't fazed by the tsunami warning at all, he sees it as an opportunity to go out surfing.

This reminded me of my speculation about Scrooge being so busy doing other things that he doesn't pay attention to Della’s call. I wondered if the bet he made with Glomgold would be the distraction.

In an out-of-context quote, Roxanne Feathery talked about a storm forming over the mansion. Could the tsunami have been alluding to that?

The idea of Scrooge planning on riding the tidal wave kind of reminded me of what Della was trying to do with the cosmic storm.  Is there some sort of loose parallel going on? There was a vehicle, a pilot, a natural disaster and Scrooge's involvement.There’s also the idea of the Money Bin being threatened as a result: Scrooge assumed Diane wanted to steal his money and Scrooge almost causes himself to go bankrupt by using his money to search for Della.

Later on in the story, we find out that Diane came to Duckburg to save Launchpad. She was told that he was kidnapped and enslaved by Scrooge, but this, of course, was just a misunderstanding.

In another post of mine, I speculated about Launchpad possibly being part of Della's motivation for taking the Spear due to his lack of input on her decision. Even after “Last Crash” when we find out that he knows why everyone was moving out, he doesn't bother to weigh in on the situation. His reactions to the family crisis are hardly focused on. If he doesn't blame Scrooge and he doesn't seem to want to blame Della...then who does he blame?

Could Launchpad have actually been in trouble years ago and Della took the Spear early to save him? Was she baited into space travel by being lied to and fell into someone’s trap?! LP’s character has a history of space travel and he’s been abducted by aliens in the original Darkwing Duck series.

Lᴀᴜɴᴄʜᴘᴀᴅ ᴡᴀs ғᴇᴀᴛᴜʀᴇᴅ ɪɴ ғʀᴏɴᴛ ᴏғ ᴀɴ ᴀʟɪᴇɴ ᴘᴏsᴛᴇʀ ɪɴ "Tᴇʀʀᴏʀ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ Tᴇʀʀᴀ-ғɪʀᴍɪᴀɴs".

If Launchpad was the reason for taking the Spear, could the natural disaster be in reference to Della's disappearance disrupting the family?

I’ve been holding on to the theory that Dewey could be reminding LP of Della for the longest time and this comic just increases that belief.

Their friendship is being highlighted in the same issue we find out about one of Launchpad’s previous lovers and Dewey is said to be a lot like Della.

The RI Cover has Launchpad turned around, looking at Dewey's portraits.

After learning about the tsunami warning, he was quick to snatch up Dewey to take him to safety instead of snatching up both him and Webby at the same time.

In the show, Launchpad’s attachment to Dewey feels like it came out of nowhere. He suddenly revealed that Dewey was his best friend in “Terror” without having much interaction prior and even after Huey was kind enough to check on him after the snake trap Dewey set off and Louie being the first to consider Launchpad as family. (Hm, but I guess to be fair, LP was dazed on both occasions.)

In “Shadow War”, Launchpad was more upset about Donald and the boys moving away than Webby and Dewey was at the base of most of his concerns.

In “Jaw$”, Dewey wasn't the only one to get eaten by the Money Shark, but Launchpad rushed towards him for a hug. (And then later scooped up Huey and Louie.)

Dewey is always the one chosen to ask Launchpad about his mysterious, romantic adventures. Perhaps their friendship was sparked by Dewey checking on Launchpad after his search for Ziyi, but with all these other facts surrounding this, I can’t help but think that something more is going on.

I’m so baffled by Diane and LP’s relationship status. They both still have strong feelings for each other, so why did they split? Why did she go back home so quickly instead of sticking around for a visit? Because she had a kingdom to attend to? Because he couldn't stay underwater with her? What got in the way? And what could this tell us about Della’s relationship with Launchpad if she had one?

LP kept referring to her as just a friend rather than an “ex-girlfriend” or a “special friend”. So they dated briefly? Or he just doesn't want anyone to know their status? Is it because even though they’re not together, they’re not entirely done with each other, so “friend” is the best way he can describe her? Why is his love-life so dang secretive?!

They didn't even hug. I’m sad.

Donald’s exclusion from this story makes me wonder about his role in any episode that could reveal Launchpad having a connection to his sister...reminds me of when I tried figuring out why he was excluded from the news report and if it’s indicating the possibility of him being pushed back during a space adventure in some way.

Since Dewey and Webby are the kids featured in this comic, I wonder if they’ll be the first to question LP’s history and start doing an investigation.

Taking a small step away from Della: In the B Plot of the story, Huey is having trust issues with Louie the Money Bin. He things his younger brother made up the tsunami warning as an excuse to dive into Scrooge’s gold coins instead of cleaning up the treasures like they promised.

Is this hinting towards a situation where his family doesn't believe him about something important? And could it tie in with Della in some way?

Keeping track of the occurrences that took place before the issue’s released was almost as interesting as the story itself:

The issue was originally set to release on February 13th, a day before Valentine’s Day, but it got pushed to later in the month, the 27th was considered according to Amazon but the 20th was ultimately decided and every outlet switched to this date.

(Fʀᴏᴍ Lᴇᴀɢᴜᴇ ᴏғ Cᴏᴍɪᴄ Gᴇᴇᴋs)

iTunes released a three-page preview a week before the 20th. (I suppose it was queued with the original date.) None of the other sites had a preview available until the day before the issue came out and it was during the later half of the day. Usually, previews are available in multiple places at least a few days before the comic’s release date. I'm probably jumping the gun a little with this, but it seems like there could have been some hesitation over releasing any part this comic... it's not unusual for comic dates to change, but if it had stayed on the 13th, maybe that would have been too suggestive. Maybe they were trying to figure out the best way for people not to catch on too quickly? Whatever the situation may be, the fact that we're getting this comic not only in a month associated with romance, but a date that isn't too far from the premiere of “Whatever Happened to Della Duck?!”, feels a little too intended.

I was originally planning to holding off on all my Issue 18 thoughts on this blog until the new episode, but wow! This comic gave us so much potential hinting, I couldn't keep quiet about it! Perhaps I'll make another “Gander” update picking back up on some of these points and what interesting things the episode has to offer.

[flusterfluff]

Welp, here we go, folks. I just got through this game, and this was my favorite song from it. Jill is relatable. Dorothy is amazing. Armitage is best hacker.  Sensitive content below. Unrelated to VA-11 Hall-A, more related to my last non-queued post. Soundtrack for the rest of this is actually the Valkyrie trilogy that I linked a few days ago. By Varien. Go look it up if you missed that one. Warnings for below: I’m going to be talking about rape, and how I personally cope with things in general. If these make you uncomfortable, just enjoy the music.

So, in regards to that post, thank you to the people that messaged me. Your support means a lot, and I’m so glad to have such a good support network. All my friends are amazing, and so is everyone that isn’t sure if they’re my friend but is reading this. Hey. You. You reading this. I consider you a friend. Even if we’ve never talked. Just a little reality check before I delve into senseless monologue and venting. Feel free to say “hi” some time, anyway. I promise, I’m not busy. Anyway, something that gets brought to my attention whenever I bring up the cellphone story, or any other story involving that particular move is how casually I gloss over the fact that I was raped. Most people see that as a heavy topic, and most people seem to have trouble parsing the fact that someone who has experienced something so horrendous can just mention it and move on.

And now this is where I’m afraid I might catch some flak. Rape isn’t a trivial thing, and I do not treat it as such when it is the experience of anyone else that I am talking about. However, to the previous story, it was merely incidental, and used to give a frame of reference. Had I talked about it in full, the post would’ve derailed into a post entirely about that. And I didn’t want it to do that. Yes, it happened, I acknowledged it, and I moved on.

I am able to do this because of how I process things. Not everyone is capable of just... compartmentalizing it right that. It can be, and usually is, a life-defining experience that one will go through hours and hours, weeks and weeks, even years of therapy for. That is fine. That is good. That is how one recovers. That’s how you move on. I’m not saying I didn’t have that luxury. I do. The option is available to me, but... That’s not how I cope.

I cope with that the same way I’ve coped with my mother being an abusive, neglectful, exploitative, pitiful excuse for a shambling husk that walks around with some vague semblance of a human being. Nothing can atone for what has happened. There will be no justice. There can be no justice. I’ve seen justice make things worse, and in this case, it would. For my step brother, he practically has police in his pocket, and part of my coping is knowing that I am a better person. This. This single thought alone, about being a better person, about wanting to improve and be ever better than that lowlife is what keeps me from acting on what all these emotions boil down into. It’s rage. All the way through, pure rage. Cold anger. A stare that could throw a dagger from a hundred yards and strike the man in the jugular if I were ever to see him again. That. That is how I feel after I have come to terms with it. I’m not sad. I’m not afraid. I don’t feel like less of a person. I’m better than that scum-sucking serial rapist. I do not fear, but for what would happen to him were he to come within arm’s reach. If he were to do that, it might be some small mercy. One that he does not deserve.

I sit here, warm in my room, in my chair, on my computer while he scrounges for food, leeching off of friends who still somehow stand having him inflicted on them. Perhaps it is pity on their part, but regardless. Taking vengeance of any sort, acting on this rage would be futile. There can be no greater justice than what this world has handed him already. I know who he is, and I know how he is. He will remain miserable, and I will remain safe and happy. I need not waste my actions on him when karma has already done so for him. 

That. That is all you will ever hear me talk about him. That is all I can say, drawn out as long as I can say it. I was raped. It happened. Yeah, I’m okay. Lets move on to what really bothers me. That’s my poor, pitiful mother. And that? That’s another post, entirely. Just know that the cell phone incident from the last non queued post had more impact on my life than that low-life will ever have had. Now, lets stop wasting breath on him, and have a bonus song for making it this far. https://youtu.be/R_uS0aT0bG8

[gaming-pasq]

Life is Strange

(final choice out of 10 random rolls)

Yes, another one from that same Square Enix humble bundle, the dice decided to roll 3 games from it out of the 100+ options... This time a game I couldn’t decide for the longest time if it really should have been on my backlog list, and the reason I waited for it to be my final choice of the 10 rolls I made.

I only own Episode 1 of Life is Strange (Steam store link, ep. 1 is free) so not having the full game was like... do I really want to play it then? Also, when I put it on my list, this episode wasn’t free yet, but now it is, so technically I felt like I didn’t have to add it to my list at all anymore.

But at the same time, this is a game I was genuinely am interested in playing... I just don’t like only owning part of a game (and why I also generally avoid demos.) Episodic games are a curse and I really hate the trend of these things.

But yeah, I decided to give it a try after much debating. The praise for this game is everywhere, and it does have timetravel elements which I have a love-hate relation with and am always interested in.

Fin or Bin?

Well, I finished episode 1 in one playthrough, so I finished what I own. Will I buy the other episodes and play them? Probably, but only when they’re on at least 50% clearance.

The game is fun, but it also has its problems that really annoy me. I like the slow pace. The time traveling part is acceptable, and it’s a very good way to actually let you go through all the “make a decision” options before making an actual decision on what you want to do to influence the game later. And I like trying to spot everything and finding the small things you can take pictures of (which are the achievements.) The art is nice, but the animation and voice acting combination is terrible. The mouth movements aren’t lined up at all and this is why voice acting often bothers me. If you cannot animate it right, don’t have voice acting. Plus a lot of the lines lack any emotion and just sound like someone read the script out loud. The animation is problematic in other ways too. The main character uses the “moving her bangs out of the way” animation too often but what’s worse is the hair doesn’t even move! If you include an animation like that, at least make the hair move then! Now it only distracted me every time it happens, and it happened a lot.

All this makes the game subpar to me and not worth the full money. But the story and gameplay is interesting and, as demos do, it makes me want to know how it continues. So I will end up buying the rest someday and finishing it completely, most likely.

EDIT 8 hours after writing and queuing this post: So... the game actually ended going on sale the day I wrote this, at 75% off. Amazing. So yeah, I own the full game now and will play through it.

I originally had queued this post with the intention to have it post on the 22nd, to put some distance between my posts, but this coincidence somewhat forced me to post it now already.

[cowplant-pizza]

Afternoon my lovelies! 💜

I just wanted to make a quick post outlining the changes in my blog in a little more in detail. So I have around 300 posts queued, to be posted 7 times a day (let me know if that's too much or too little), that are pure story related. I've kept the same cute, pastel vibe going on but it is real dialogue with a proper story line. After that, when Generation 4 is born (eek!) it calms down a little bit and returns to soft, cute edits with small dialogue and captions, but then it'll hopefully pick up again when an important part of Generation 4 is happening in her childhood!

So I think that this is the way my blog will work: occasional bursts of story when important things are happening, or for character development, but then back to casual gameplay pictures when I feel like things are pretty self explanatory.

I hope you guys stick around for this wild ride of changes, and I hope you do actually enjoy my writing!

💜

[tyranttortoise]

 @rnd-injustice submitted:  Oh my god! Just read all the Halloween stuff from you and Jolie, listened to the entire playlist non-stop! Words, no good, can’t properly convey, written language too limited- GHASDFAPFFFFFFT- AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHH!!!! I LOVE HALLOWEEN! X-MAS CAN SUCK IT!

*ahem* I’m sure you don’t remember me specifically, but I was the one who was ‘boneing-up for their exams’(I passed everything, wrote only 3 bone-related puns!). I just wanted to say that you- you have no idea how much you helped me. I have no self confidence and easily get lost in my own head, making it easy for me breakdown and give up, believing it’s hopeless. But your posts, your stories, they gave me something else to focus on, something to look forward to. I’ve always constantly made stories up in my mind, writing them up and keeping them on my computer (love doing that too), but I never had the confidence to upload any of them (if I didn’t like them, why should anyone else). But I sort of made an oath to myself, I would upload my stories and damn whatever I think, if I passed (didn’t think it would actually happen, but here we are…backed myself into a corner). You should know, I’ve written one entirely inspires by SSLL, Bitty Hunt. If you hate it or don’t want it uploaded, please tell me. I much rather take it down than harm anything you’ve portrayed. I love your work too much for that.

I actually don’t use internet to talk with anyone (certainly don’t leave comments of post anything ever, even thinking that makes my stomach twist…small steps), so I’m really awkward with the whole tech and if I do something wrong or stupid, sorry in advance.

Oh! And damn different time-zones, school, work and a cold that decided to spring now! I saw your skelly party after it was closed, and I really wanted to show you my costume (I’ll upload it on my 'this thing’ (not sure how to yet, but I’ll Google it), I was happy with it but no one could figure out why I instead I was a 'space pirate’). All this confidence, none of it would have been possible without you.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to upload everything before I can change my mind. JUMPING INTO THE DEEP END HERE! WOOHOO, NO REGRETS! (that part comes later.)

Happy Halloween, and I love you, you rock.

p.s-Sorry this is so long. Shortened this from a page. Sorry

the tortoise’s two cents:  I’m so glad you enjoyed the Halloween content!  And I definitely remember you.  =D  And I’m glad to hear you passed your exams!

I’m also so glad that you found the courage to post your writing--and honored that you wrote one inspired by SSLL.  Bitty Hunt is so good!  I laughed pretty much the entire first chapter, and the skelebros are beautifully portrayed.  Edge is hilarious, Red is a perv (but I love it), and Stretch makes me swoon all over again.  You don’t have to worry about me hating it; on the contrary, I loved it!  And a bitty Reader?  I’ve honestly never seen that before, and you’ve got me hooked.  That’s such a cool twist.  

Also, I looked at your tumblr and saw your Halloween costume, and I’m about to go comment on it because Mass Effect is my favorite game series, and you’re cosplaying it, and ahhhhh!!  I adore it.  

I’m glad I can help bolster your confidence!  You deserve to be confident because your writing is hilarious, the pacing is great, and the characterization is A+!  <3  Upload everything and keep writing--keep that fire going!  I hope you had a fantastic Halloween, and you’ll be hearing more from me later.  Right now, I’m going to sleep and queuing this up to post at a more reasonable hour.  xP

TL;DR:  Go read  Bitty Hunt!

[loveforjared]

Hi, could you tell me everything you know about Jared's AKF campaign and what what made him to do it? It would be very helpful for me and I'd be very grateful for your help. Thank you

The AKF Campaign was in the works for a while before the first shirt was released. After Stephen Amell did his “F*ck Cancer” campaign, he kept bugging Jared to do a campaign as well. The death of a long-time friend to suicide is what prompted Jared into action. He explained it in-depth in The Story of the Shirt, which was posted alongside the original shirt in March of 2015:

On New Years Eve, my dear friend lost his battle with depression. This, unfortunately, wasn’t the first time i lost a personal friend to suicide, and it hurt me deeply, in a way that only a personal experience with suicide can. Though he wasn't the first friend I’ve lost to suicide, I sure hope he’s the last. I wish i had the chance to go back and tell them what they meant to me. I wish I had the chance to beg them to seek help, to keep fighting. I wish they knew that they were surrounded by countless others who struggle on a daily basis.

I hope that this campaign, while raising money for a wonderful charity, can also raise awareness about issues that affect more people than we know. I hope it inspires people battling depression, addiction, mental illness and suicidal thoughts to be vocal about their struggles. I hope it helps people realize that they shouldn’t be ashamed of what they are going through, and I hope it helps people meet and find new friends that they can relate to. I hope it helps people take pride in the fight that they have been fighting, and gives them a push to never give up or give in. I hope it helps inspire people to keep fighting. no matter how hard it is.

For people who deal with mental illness, depression, addiction or suicidal thoughts, every day can bring about new struggles. Every hour and every minute can seem to bring insurmountable odds of happiness. I hope that the simple message of “always keep fighting” can help to bolster somebody through a tough time. I also hope this campaign can help alleviate some of the stigma that the terms “mental illness” and “depression” sometimes evokes.

Everybody has either dealt with these issues themselves, or had a loved one who deal with them. It’s time for us to put these issues front and center and not be ashamed of the path we are walking. If you’re out there and need help, please seek it. Be proud of your valiant day-to-day struggle. There is no shame in needing support. I hope this campaign will help you be vocal about your own struggles, or vocal in your support of those who might need a helping hand. Most of all, when life seems to want to beat you down, I hope you Always Keep Fighting.

In April of the same year, Jared and Jensen announced the foundation of the Pack Fund, which collects funds and then distributes them to great organizations such as TWLOHA, St. Jude’s, etc. This is also when the second AKF shirt (Moose & Squirrel) was released.

In May 15, Jared announced he wouldn’t be attending JIBcon and would instead be returning home to Austin to be with his family. Jensen told fans that Jared was physically and mentally exhausted, and fans/cast members/friends/family responded to Jared’s original tweet with love and support.

At SDCC in July, 2015, Anne Kirn (@house_of_darkly) organised a thank-you gesture for Jared's work on Always Keep Fighting. With the support of Random Acts, she produced 1200 tealight candles. Anne distributed the 1185 of the tea lights to Supernatural fans as they queued for the Supernatural panel in Hall H on the morning of Sunday 12th July, (the remaining tealights were given to the panellists, absent friends. One went to William Shatner). Following the main panel, as the audience questions began, the tealights were turned on and held high in the audience. A note and tealight was passed to Jared on stage, who was visibly moved by the display. He later posted this message to Facebook:

A thank you.

To anybody and everybody that had ANY part whatsoever in the Always Keep Fighting Hall H tea light event.

As I travel back to Vancouver from San Diego Comic-Con, with my partners in crime Jensen Ackles and Mark Sheppard, the enormity of what happened is finally starting to sink in....

I am beyond moved.

I feel so blessed, and grateful, and honored to be a part of the magical Supernatural Family.

Sitting on that stage in Hall H, I initially mistook all of the lights for cell phone cameras. It's difficult to discern specific shapes and faces with all of those stage lights shining on you (and, it's quite intimidating up there, sitting in front of 6,500 people!!). Then, when I had a light given to me with an explanation of what it was and what it stood for, I was (and am still) gob-smacked.

Thank you.

From the very bottom of my heart and my soul, thank you so much.

I will never forget this day. I will never forget the love that I felt, and still feel.

And, to everybody who held a light for me, please know that I hold my light for you.

Though I happened to be the one sitting on stage, I am but one small light in a see of thousands. TOGETHER, we can and will make a difference!

Keep letting your light shine. I will do the same.

And, keep fighting.

Always Keep Fighting.

Not long after this event, the third AKF shirt was released.

Since then, five more designs have been released- “SPN Family” and “Thanksgiving Special” in November 2015, One Year Anniversary “Love Yourself First” in March 2016, “I Am Enough” after the Pulse Nightclub shooting in June 2016, and “Family Has Your Back” in September 2016 to commemorate the beginning of Season 12.

There was also the recent relaunches of the campaigns in early June, in addition to a multitude of fan campaigns ranging from buying shirts for fans unable to afford them to the glowsticks at Salute to Supernatural New Jersey.

I hope I covered everything! If there’s some detail I missed, this Super-Wiki article is pretty detailed and my source for all my info.

I don’t know when I got this, so sorry it took so long to respond!