#mcugiftexchange2019

[deadpooly]

forgotten dreams and faded stars

for the @mcu-christmas-exchange

written for @padraigendragon, i combined a few of your prompts and went for an endgame fix it! i really hope i did alright and that you enjoy it! 

I had this queued but it didnt post because it turns out it was in my drafts. a lot went on at home and i got preoccupied and recently remembered that i didnt post your work so here it is!! I apologize for it being late, that is on me 100%

***

When Tony snapped his fingers, he really wasn't expecting anything other than immense pain and death.

And that is exactly what he got.

He snapped and as he felt his breathing get shorter and heart slow down, he watched Peter cry over him and Rhodey give him a sad smile. He listened as Pepper told him it would be alright and he really believes her for the rest of his ending life because he loves her so much.

Then he looks past her and sees the destroyed look on Steve’s face and wishes he had a bit longer to make some things right.

Well, whatever was left to make right. In between the five years they seemed to rebuild the bridge and strengthen it because their friendship became more solid as time grew on. They still had their cold moments but every time after they forgave each other, nothing seemed so bad to keep them apart.

So Tony watched his closet family cry while he drifts away and looks Steve in the eye one more time before he sees him fall to his knees and suddenly Tony’s soul drifts from his body.

It actually felt more like he was being torn from his body. It didn't hurt, it kind of tickled actually, but it's a better analogy than drifting.

Tony Stark loved analogies. Something that he could use to help others understand something bigger. They can be simplified or stretched out and they can be calm and kind or harsh and painful to listen to. But they all get the point across.

When Tony was finally ripped from his body he was still present. He saw his corpse lying a few feet from him but he stood there and watched the scene play out before him. There was a pulling on his very soul trying to tear him from the earth but there was a deep presence of mourning and denial that continued to drag him down. 

It wasn't Pepper. God he already misses her, but she had always respected his decisions regardless of how dumb they were. It wasn't his best friend who had already spent a lifetime with him. And it wasn't Peter who only had a few precious years to get to know Tony. The boy was already too familiar with loss. 

It was Steve. Tony could feel his soul pulling him toward the man who broke down onto his knees and nearly started crying over a won battle.

Tony just looked at Steve and the single tear that cleaned a path down his dirty face. 

He wishes he could go over there and wipe it off his face. He can't though.

He’s a ghost. And that's the easiest way he could put the situation that he is in. Stuck in a world he can't interact with.

***

The first thing Tony noticed was that his soul unconsciously followed Steve Rogers around everywhere. If Tony wanted to go somewhere else, he just couldn't. He was pretty much stuck next to Steve’s side until the man decided he was done mourning Tony Stark.

Steve would go to bed and Tony would be sitting on the floor beside the bedside hoping to fall asleep or entertain himself. Sometimes he fell asleep, other times he somehow still had nightmares.

He attended his funeral, he still doesn't actually know where his body is, but he stood by Steve’s side and luckily he could rest a hand on Peter’s shoulder as the boy cried. He saw Morgan and Pepper together and knew that they were strong and would be alright.

Tony sometimes would forget he’s actually a ghost and would accidentally talk to Steve as if he could hear him.

“Your shoes untied.” Tony snorted and then he remembered he wasn't technically among the living and would huff in annoyance. Steve however would sniff and bend over to tie his shoe as if he heard Tony.

Steve was painting in his room and the canvas was clean except for the short brushes of a light orange dabbed throughout the large frame. Tony couldn't guess what the main object was going to be so he sat on a nearby stool and watched Steve scrunch up his face as he tried to create an image with colors.

“Why are you so complicated?” Steve whispered to the canvas. His arm wasn't raised ready to brush but it was lowered in surrender and defeat. “I could never get you right.”

Tony got up off of the stool and walked over to the canvas and sighed a sad smile.

“You always over analyze, there's a bigger picture and your focusing on the small things, Steve.” Tony dragged a ghost hand over the painting and stared at Steve’s conflicted face. “It looks amazing Steve,” Tony tried to reassure Steve of his painting.

The painting was Tony holding the iron man helmet in a place that looked like an orange heaven.

“Thank you, Tony.” Steve said and Tony froze in place, but Steve still did not acknowledge his astral presence.

***

The day quickly approached where Steve had to return the stones about a week after the funeral. Tony totally forgot that there were death rocks sitting around that needed to be put back. Also, he noticed that the wait was caused by a new healthy and alive Hank Pym creating more particles. Tony watched Steve decline Sam’s help and give his goodbye to Barnes. Then while Tony was expecting to be left behind since he was not in possession of time travel equipment, the machine started and Tony was being dragged along with Steve.

***

First stop was going back to the camp in New Jersey back in the 70s Tony was pretty amused at how horrible Steve was at lying to try to get the stone back where it was, given that he actually didn't know where the tesseract was in the first place. 

Tony would tell him where to go but Steve would go the exact other way because being a ghost sucks. Steve was in a hallway with a bunch of doors which lead into peoples offices. Then Steve took the stairs to a lower level and walked around until he somehow found a science-y looking lab.

Steve was walking down the hall then an office door opened and he literally ran into one Peggy Carter.

Then Tony sighed in hopeless jealousy as he watched Steve begin to panic and fluster. Shit.

“Steve?” Peggy gasped but shook her head and blinked a couple of times.

There, right there was Peggy Carter and Tony could facepalm because he suddenly knew that this task was going to get drawn out longer than it needed to.

Steve was frozen, he couldn't move. There was a tinge of red on his cheeks and his eyes told Tony a story of longing that could make his ghostly heart nearly hurt.

“Yeah Peg?” Steve replied. It was simple but coming out of Steve’s mouth like that, it sounded like it repatched a hundred moments stolen from Steve and frozen out of Peggy’s grasp.

The disbelief was written all over Peggy’s face, and the dying hope was burning off of Steve’s.

Dumbass, we need to get out of here or a timeline might get created. Tony tried to whisper into Steve’s ear. It sounds harsh but Tony just might be a little cranky that Steve is paying attention to a past jewel more than he is to Tony. Not that he could pay attention to him.

“How are you here?” she asked, getting straight to the questions and looking for answers. Typical Peggy Carter.

“Long story, time travel.” Steve said as if that would explain anything. Tony rolled his eyes. “I may need you help.” he then pulled the space stone out of his pocket with his gloved hand and held it out towards Peggy. “This is the tesseract, earlier I came here and stole it and I need to put it back.”

“You what?” Peggy asked in disbelief. “You were already here?”

“Is it May right now?” 

“No, its June fifth, 1970. Howard just got back, should I get him?” Peggy took out a device that looked like an early phone but before she could do anything with it, Steve stopped her.

“No, no. I just need to know where the lab is.” Steve asked urgently, some people in lab coats walked by and Peggy dragged Steve to the side and Tony just stayed in the middle of the hallway watching Peggy and Steve interact. It was like a beautiful reunion scene in a romance movie where Tony suddenly no relation to the person he loved and all he could do was stand by and watch as the protagonist ran back to the past.

Steve was absolutely adorable when he blushed and Tony loved him so much for it.

At this point Tony just allowed himself to get dragged along with Steve’s body. He didn't listen to the conversations, because why would he? He’s dead it wouldn't really matter. He watched Steve blush and Peggy smile and he also watched the anxiety creep over Steve because he knew that this would last and he would have to leave. Nothing could stop the jealousy from flooding Tony and the mourning that clearly engulfed Steve all over again when the stone was put back and the two said their goodbyes.

The process, as Tony had predicted, was long and drawn out because of the bump in and all Tony could do was try not to listen to a private moment no matter how much he just wanted to drag Steve away.

The reality stone was fast. Quickly injected into one unsuspecting Jane Foster. Tony thought there was probably a better way to handle it rather than re-infecting one of earth's smartest scientists with a reality check. But Steve being Steve, he likes things put back the way they were.

The mind stone was quicker, Steve just stuck it in a case lying around the tower, which he broke into and actually spoke to Jarvis. But this only happened after Tony spent five minutes watching Steve mutter and disregard ideas to himself.

“Hey Jarvis?” Steve asked, his head looking up at the ceiling, Tony thought it was adorable.

“How may I assist you, Captain Rogers?” the clear voice answered. Tony smiled at the familiarity of the AI while a grin brightened Steve’s face. Tony’s heart tightened at the sight.

“I need to get this case to Tony.” Steve paused and took a breath. “But without interacting with him,” Steve paused, then decided that’s all he wanted to say.

“I have several different ways I am able to transport the case to Mr. Stark without physical contact.” 

“Thanks” Steve said in reply with a single tear streaming down his face, and Tony feeling like his celestial body is thrumming with energy. 

***

Time stone was as simple as a stop by the sanctum. And that was it. Before the old wizard lady stopped Steve and Tony from leaving.

“Mr. Rogers.” she said clearly catching his attention. “You may have to watch what you do, you never know who may be paying attention to your actions.” Tony froze and looked at the woman and waved and smiled when he got the slightest motion of a hand back.

“Still by your side Rogers.” Tony whispered into Steve’s ear when they started travelling to a new location.

***

All Steve did for the power stone was thrown it in its dog cage where he believes it was found, then he just left. 

Tony just scoffed at him and laughed because yeah, this shit is getting old and he just wants to go home.

***

Then came the soul stone.

***

The climb up the large mountain was long, it was suffering, and it was painful. For Steve. Tony just sort of awkwardly floated knowing that wherever Steve went, Tony would also go. And he was not complaining.

They reached the top and Steve took a minute to allow his legs to slightly rest and he pulled out the soul stone holding it in his bare palm. He stared at the stone and slowly began stepping forwards until a voice called out to them.

“Steven Rogers, son of Sarah and Joseph Rogers.”

Shit.

Steve straightened and pulled his shield out immediately pocketing the stone getting ready to pounce on the speaker.

“Anthony Stark, son of Maria and Howard Stark.”

Uh what?

Tony froze and Steve’s look darkened.

“Shmidt.”

“Ah, Captain Rogers. I'm afraid you have come to return the stone.” Shmidt said.

“Why are you here. You should be dead.” Steve asked urgently. “And why did you say that name?”

“I am just stating the names of those who are present, naive Captain.” the figure floated forward and the blood red skull stood out against its black hood. “All those years ago, when I seeked power disregarding the consequences, the punishment had delivered me here to guard the stone for all the many years to come.”

Steve swallowed uncomfortably and Tony wanted to reach out and tell him to leave the stone and escape.

“Have your punishments come to catch you yet Captain?” Shmidt asked, and Steve stepped forward and punched him right through the face. Except his hand passed through what he thought would be flesh.

“Face it captain, you cannot try to finish me anymore. I am not among the living, just as your friend beside you. I know what you came here to do.” Shmidt said before he faded out and Steve was left with the stone in his palm and one Tony Stark beside him.

“I want Tony back.” Steve whispered, his grip hard on the stone before he let it drop and he closed the helmet on and disappeared to the future.

Tony felt sick and then it all went black.

***

When Steve returned to the compound, he was alone besides Bruce, Sam and Bucky waiting there for him. He walked off of the platform and dropped onto one knee. Tears gathered into his eyes and his head was bowed.

Then there was noise and Steve blocked it out as he tried to greive, then there were warm arms being wrapped around him and he froze before looking up into the warm smile being given to him.

“Tony.” Steve breathed.

“Steve.” was all Tony said before he grabbed for Steve’s hand and kissed it, then Steve launched forward and embraced Tony like someones life depended on it.

“I was with you the whole time.” Tony told him.

“I felt you. I missed you more than I thought I would.” Steve replied. “I love you Tony.”

“You know what Steve?” Tony asked with his eyes rimming with tears. “I think I love you too.”

Their hands tightened together and Tony never felt more alive in Steve’s arms.