#but I didn't want to make the post too long

[lighting-and-shadow]

Ikigai, Part 1

I previously posted a blurb/preview of a soulmate AU with Sylus and a Non MC Reader. Here is the full length fic. Hope you all enjoy because there's more fics to come with this man from me (he has me in a goddamn chokehold; I already have so many drafts 😭).

Length: 2.2k words

Not completely proofread.

🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹

You sit on Sylus' bed, restless despite the exhaustion that clings to your body. It’s like a noose with every second that goes by. Yet, you know rest will never come to you. Not for some time at least. So, you pass the time with tapping.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Broken nails tap uselessly and frequently against the expensive sheets. No amount of this makes the ire in your blood burn any less.

"Sylus," you call out to the man in question, who merely hums your name in response. "Have I ever told you that you're the biggest fool I've met?"

Sylus stands in his bathroom, door wide open as always. He stopped showering or tending to his wounds with it closed long ago. You can't quite remember how long. It's just how it is. Has it made for some embarrassing moments where he teases you with a towel barely around his waist as you struggle to keep your eyes solely on his (and not his chest that you want to run your hands on or his neck you want to bury your face in as you drift to sleep)? Yes.

Would you want it any other way? No.

"Is that so, sweetie? I must've gone deaf the last few hours, and missed it. Mind repeating yourself so I can etch it into my mind for future reference?"

"You're the biggest fool I've ever met."

He chuckles. The rich laughter makes your heart flutter and you almost immediately march over to help him.

"May I remind you that you work for this fool? What does that make you?"

"What indeed…"

The pair of you sit in silence except for the sounds of Sylus digging into his own skin to remove a bullet that seems to be giving him particular trouble.

"Be a dear and help your boss out, sweetie."

Part of you wants to give in, as you've done so many times. Sylus' tone gives away that he knows that too. Even without seeing his face, you can imagine the smug smirk it has. Oh how you want to kiss that smirk away so badly.

And that's exactly why you can't comply with his request. You need to put your foot down. Maybe being belligerent will help quell these annoying feelings. Sylus isn't meant to be yours, after all.

"No thanks."

You stare at his thread of fate. It shimmers the same red that everyone else's does. That red used to alarm you as a child. Now, all you see is him. Him and his beautiful red you wish to burrow yourself in forever.

Now that red helps not give into him. Helps you remember that if you want him to meet his soulmate in one piece, you couldn't keep letting him do this.

"Seriously?"

"Yep. My foolish boss did this to himself, so he should pay the price."

"And what price is that?"

"The price of spending who knows how long digging bullets out of his skin."

"Of course. Whatever you say sweetie. A far better price than what… hmmm… what was his name? George? Jarold?"

He's teasing you again. The drawl in his voice told you as much. He didn't even bother to hide the slight chuckles he let out at your tired sigh.

"James," you reply.

"Yes, Jake," now he was just fucking with you. "The price he was demanding for such mediocre business was… appalling. I much prefer this."

You snort at your boss, "Just keep telling yourself that bossman."

"I will, sweetie."

Silence engulfs the pair of you. For you, it sits on your chest, swims in your blood, and chews on your skin. The quiet gnaws at you, a steady and annoying and repetitive peaking reminiscent of Mephisto.

You hate it. But you must maintain it. Even when Sylus glances over his shoulder at you. You're sure to avoid eye contact with him. One look is all it would take for you to storm over to him and tenderly take the bullets out of his skin.

Not this time. This time, you had to be firm.

Your mind drifts back to the meeting. There wasn't anything special about this particular one. Hell, it wasn't even a weapons deal. Rather, James was apparently an old friend of Sherman's with a vinyl collection. The stupid man had gone off the rails recently.

Was it surprising that he did? Not in the least bit. It did make for a good laugh over diner one day though. About how this man thought he could take you two down. Sylus and his faithful companion with a silver tongue, one that seemed to speak to very depths of your soul.

Taking down Sherman wouldn't be difficult. Nothing ever was with you two being the well-oiled machine you are together. But, you never liked being unprepared. You're cautious to a fault. And Sylus wanted to easy your worrying, or nagging as he called it.

Enter James: a connection to Sherman you dug up. One with a pension for vintage music and antique jewelry. It should've been an easy deal. Especially once you saw his thread.

James' thread was a dim red. A red you hadn't seen for quite sometime. A red you didn't expect from someone like him.

A dead soulmate. You could hear the deceased man's faint screams. You could see their final hours together as illness wracked the poor boy. God, they must've been about 16; James had to be at least in his mid 30's now. He still clings to his soulmate all these years later, a simple tattoo over his heart to symbolize the love that was lost too early.

You pitied the man. He wasn't a good man, with countless lives lost at his hands and many loves cut too short because of his actions, but the loss of a soulmate is something no one recovers from. It's one of those things that immutable in this world.

So you used that to crack through his icy exterior. Peeled it back layer by layer until his soul danced in the palm of your hand. James was at your command. Until your boss shattered that.

"Why are you so mad at me, my sweet Gamayun?"

You can't help it: you look up and are immediately greeted by your boss' smug face. And you're angry at falling for his trick. For a moment.

Then you lock eyes. Deep, deep, crimson, so similar yet so unlike the threads of fate you see so often. His red is a good red. His red is the red of your love rather than everyone else's. Sometimes you wonder if his red eyes are your thread of fate, that they're your soulmate connection.

Any other day, you'd soak in the attention of that red. You can't right now. Because in a fraction of a second, you see it. You see the hurt he's trying to cover. You see in his soul how his wounds ache and how he wants your forgiveness, how he wants to make you smile (for some reason).

It's all you need to move from his bed and approach his back. He still looks at you, smirk gone and expression soft with something you can't place. You ignore it. He turns around so that his bare chest faces you. You struggle to not let yourself be flustered.

”It's nothing you haven't seen before. It's no big deal. You're just business partners and companions. Nothing else.”

"Gimme your gauze."

Your tone is sharp. Maybe because you hope to cover how weirdly intimate this feels: your boss basically naked and unguarded as you try to tend to his wounds.

You focus your eyes onto his hands. He holds his bandages in them. You reach for them, but he moves his hand away. You reach again, and Sylus raises his hand above his head, and raises an eyebrow at you.

You can't even be mad at him when he does.

"Why, Gamayun?"

There’s that nickname again. It carries so much. His trust, his affection, and his heart. Just not in the way you hope.

Gamayun carries false dreams, fantasies that haunt you as you sleep at night. Gamayun is a fake promise of a love you'll never have. But it was yours, so you gladly take ownership of it.

"You're pathetic…"

"Because my foolish Morana apparently can't clean up his own messes."

"Ah, but that's why I have you, my sweet, beautiful, and kind Gamayun."

Your hands tremble as you pull back on the roll of gauze. You think Sylus laughs at you, but you can't hear it over the pounding of your heart.

"Stop it," you want to tell him. "Stop giving me hope."

It doesn't take long for you to finish. You help Sylus dress, despite knowing he doesn't in any way, shape, or form need you help. He stopped you when you tried to leave after finishing his bandages, so you figure you wouldn't even bother for now.

"Sylus, what're you—"

"Sylus? Who's Sylus? Since when did you know a Sylus?"

You roll your eyes at him.

“Have you suddenly become a decrepit old man with my noticing?”

"No," he then lifts you into your arms and forces you to meet his eyes.

He stares into your eyes; you stare right back, praying that you give nothing away. He walks towards his bed, still looking at you.

"You must be really mad at me if you're calling me by my name right now."

"Don't be so dramatic you big baby. I called you by name earlier.”

Sylus pays no heed to words. In fact, he takes them in stride, placing you slowly onto his bed. His movements are slow, precise. Almost as if he's afraid to hurt you. But that’s ridiculous; he could never hurt you.

"Are his injuries still causing him problems?"

You keep that thought in mind in order to not trick yourself. In order to not gaslight yourself into believing that there's something more behind his actions. Sylus and you have always had an intimate relationship. Closer than most ever will be. Best friends. Partners in crime.

"This means nothing."

You try to get out of bed, to run away to wallow in your sorrows, but Sylus plops down next you and wraps an arm around you.

"Sleep. We'll discuss this later."

A protest builds up in your throat. It’s pushed back down when his arms tightens around you and his breathing evens out into soft puffs. He’s not asleep; you know that, and he knows you know that. But you play along anyway.

Turning in his arms to play with his hair, you think more about what happened earlier. At how Sylus kept trying to get between you and James when you guys got closer. At how Sylus seemed more passive aggressive with the man the more you two talked, forgetting that there was even someone else in the room. At how Sylus would subtly move you away from James when a crack in the man’s facade would appear at your words.

He got worse when you reciprocated. Of course, you always did on these missions; it’s a great way to build rapport. Today was different. Today was real. You really felt for James. You really wanted to reach him. As someone who also understands of the pain of being without a soulmate—soulless, as society would call you.

But you were different. You didn’t lose your soulmate. You never had one. All you could do was watch as others loved and lost, doomed to never experience the same.

Things exploded when James asked if he could see you again. A normal request from clients and prospective/current business partners alike. But you never quite clicked with them the same way you had with James, a man whose heart was so hurt, much like your own. You hope the poor man is still alive.

Sleep begins to creep up on you as you remember the vigor in Sylus protest. Honestly, it was kind of hot; you rarely get to see him lose composure. Even less so during business exchanges. You burrow into his embrace at the thought. Of the way his face contorted with rage. At the way his Evol thrashed out at those around you.

You use that to cover what you truly remember: the gentle way that same power carried you to safety (he was always weirdly protective of you because of your lack of Evol; strange, considering what you’re capable of). The worried way he asked if you were alright. The kind way he treated you despite your anger.

But, why were you angry? Why are you still angry? Because he once again used violence when it wasn’t needed? Because he didn’t listen when you told him to back off? Because he got himself hurting protecting you? Because this showed that deep down he doesn’t trust you?

No. Never.

Sylus trusts you with everything. And you, in turn, trust him with everything. Well, except one thing: your heart. Maybe that was why you were mad at him. Because when he does things like that, it makes it so hard to let him go.

🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹 🥀 🌹

Taglist: @eolivy, @rafayelridesfisheatsfish, @animegamerfox, @jasperjokester, @schrodingerskimdokja, @just--crys, @snowdynasty, @shi-thats-kiera, @mansonofmadness, @dwuclvr, @ameilli, @katiedoesstuff101, @everythingistaken00, @napa-the-yappa, @hanaluxx, @lovesick-sylus, @madam8, @tenaciouszombiewombat, @ladyparamount, @applepi405, @midnight-reverie, @69-gojos-wife-69, @bellagrayson-wayne, @phisen, @idkmanimjusthorny, @munchychuusy, @autumn2534, @poptrim, @sillyfreakfanparty, @zaynesfirefly, @flamedancer13, @thissmartdumbass, @mrsllawliet, @jeondyy, @ssetsuka, @dels-page, @that-lost-one, @johnnysactualgf, @mariquitas-en-verano @toelady, @sinnamon-bunn, @yesbiaswrecked, @doggyteam2028, @little-rays-of-darkness, @albatrossblue, @vyntheria, @silverianni, @browneyedgirl22, @tiklestar, @beaconsxd, @pepperushia

[luvvannie]

NEPO-BABY -> sylus

syn. you make the mistake of mentioning to sylus that you want to move.

gen. fluff..

a/n. yall idk if i like this one tbh T^T honestly just posting for the sake of posting bc i don't have the time nor the energy to write these days with how many assessments i've had to study for but ITS OKAY!! the next one will be good trust

cmts + rbgs are super duper appreciated !! :D

sylus and you had been on your usual bedtime phone call when you mentioned you were thinking of looking for a new apartment. you told him about some minor issues around your current place. the water pressure in the shower was weak, and it wasn't too helpful after a long day of hunting and sore joints. the living room windows were jammed and didn't close all the way, and it made the winter unbearable. the signal in this busy part of the city wasn't good either, it took a good minute for you to call or text. and there was plenty more for you to complain about.

as you rattled off your grievances, sylus hummed on the other end, though it sounded absentminded. he was probably half-asleep. you had a tendency to talk his ear off before bed, and he had a tendency to let you.

a few minutes later, your complaints trailed off, and his voice—deep, smooth, laced with drowsiness—cut through the silence. "you sound tired, sweetie . go to sleep."

you pouted, shifting under the covers. you were on a roll. you had at least five more things to complain about, "but-!"

"goodnight. love you."

click! he hung up.

you huffed, looking at your phone screen, before shutting it off and laying back, closing your eyes and drifting off.

the next morning, you had the day off. you scrolled through your phone as you ate breakfast, only to pause mid-bite at a notification from sylus.

an... apartment complex?

your eyebrows furrowed as you opened the message.

you recognised that place almost instantly. it was probably the most prestigious housing in the fancy side of linkon. the side where security guards stood outside every shop and ladies in expensive dresses and pearl necklaces drank tea with their pinkies out in their gigantic penthouses while their husbands were at work. you'd dreamt of living there and being one of those ladies on your off days since you were a little girl.

you responded with multiple questions.

💬 y/n: -> huh?

💬 y/n: -> why are u sending me this?

💬 y/n: -> do u have the wrong number baby?

💬 sylus: -> no

💬 sylus: -> come.

come?

you were confused out of your mind, staring at the screen in bewilderment. what the hell was he up to? maybe sylus had another one of those meetings with some important person and needed you... for whatever reason. you finished the rest of your breakfast and got dressed, heading over to the apartment complex in his message.

when you arrived at the lobby, you found sylus speaking to someone at the front desk. his presence alone seemed to unnerve the poor receptionist, who fumbled with the keyboard as sylus glanced over at you.

his hand found its place on your lower back as you stopped beside him. "is it ready?"

the receptionist nodded—perhaps a little too quickly—before handing over a keycard.

sylus took the card, giving it to you as you blinked at him with confusion. "and all the adjustments i requested?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"y-yes, mr. sylus! everything has been completed."

he hummed in approval, turning around and bringing you to the elevator, the security nodding their heads at him respectfully. as he pressed the button to the top floor, the doors slowly shut, and you were finally given the opportunity to question him.

"what's going on? what are we doing here?"

he smirked.

no, not the smirk...

"hello?!"

the elevator dinged, and the doors opened again, and before you could press him any further he began walking down the hall ahead of you in long strides as you followed behind him like some little duckling, struggling to catch up. he stopped at the end, motioning for you to scan your keycard on the door. you grumble at him, but do so, and then he enters a password, and it unlocks.

you step into a huge, fully furnished apartment, looking around curiously. it looked untouched, like some display house. the furniture was really pretty too. it was all in your favourite colour, and you even noticed some paintings and posters from your favourite artists.

you turned back at him, "who lives here? it's really nice!"

he smirked, looking way too pleased with himself "you do."

your eyebrows furrowed, not quite catching on, "no i don't."

"well, you're holding the key, aren't you sweetie?"

the rest of the day was a whirlwind. or rather, his men handled the whirlwind while you stood there in shock, directing where you wanted things placed.

sylus had, in a single night, secured one of the most expensive apartments in the city—fully paid, fully furnished, and customised to your exact tastes. it was almost terrifying how well he knew you.

and those "adjustments" you overheard earlier? oh, he wasn’t playing around. adjustable water pressure and massage jets in the bath. upgraded heating throughout the entire place. a separate service line just for you.

amongst other things.

a few weeks passed in the new place, and you loved it. it was like a dream come true.

though you did notice something odd.

the workers, the security guards, even the neighbours—all of them treated you with an almost reverent level of politeness. a doorman scrambled to open the lobby doors for you before you even reached them. a boutique owner refused to let you pay for a dress, smiling nervously as she insisted it was on the house.

it was strange.

and then one night, sylus was over for dinner, and it clicked. you put your chopsticks down, "y-you..!"

sylus looked to you with a raised eyebrow, "yes?"

"that's why people have been so nice to me! you bribed them."

his lips curled into a lazy smirk, "bribed is such a strong word, kitten."

oh. god.

you groaned, burying your face in your hands, "i'm a nepo-baby!"

[nashusglasses]

Hiiii can I request Sylus with 49 “Put on a show for them, baby.” and 11 “You’re fucking hot when you cry.” 🤭

posting this ahead of thursday bc i've kept you waiting long enough!!! here's amateur pornstar sylus AU <3

these prompts are from this list. if you'd like, send me two prompts and a lads man for next week :)

(NSFW, 18+, please read) mentions of subspace, orgasm torture, creampie, urination from oversensitivity

.

.

.

"My precious girl," Sylus croons. He kisses your sweaty hairline. "Where'd all your courage go?"

"Fuck if I know." You can't tell if it's anger or resignation that makes you want to bruise his chest with a hard punch. The rabbit vibrator is still hot from whirring three back-to-back orgasms out of you. "Where are we…?"

"Twelve," he answers.

You almost whine. Was this all your fault? Yes. But that didn't mean you weren't allowed to be pissed off. You'll just edit out all your unnecessary grumbling. An easy fix, especially if the angle of the camera is focused solely on your used pussy.

(You did get a comment on a recent video praising Sylus for his cooing, though. Too low for viewers' ears to pick up actual sentences, but it's the way you melt into him that gets the message across. pleeeeaaaseeeeeeeee don't edit out the part where he talks to u <3, it said. idek what hes saying but he sounds soooo hot!!!)

Sylus soothes your unease with a kiss, tapping the toy still notched inside you. "Want me to take it out?"

"Just—wait," you moan. It's the only thing grounding you to this bed. The floaty feeling in your head isn't enough to overwhelm you entirely, but you're well on your way to surrending your consciousness to the darkest shade of fucked-out. "Can you… kiss me?"

He presses you deeper into the mattress with how hard he gives it to you. His tongue catches your loud exhale, licking taut like he's fiending for your taste. You're breathless. Worn out, muscles already screaming with an ache you'll feel for days. You've only got ten minutes left to beat your record of how many orgasms Sylus can wrench out of you within an hour.

Whether you're conscious by the end of it or not doesn't matter. He'll always take care of you.

Sylus lets up from your kiss, taps the toy again. "Good now?"

You nod, cringing when you feel yourself loosen around nothing as it slides out under his guidance. You don't even need to look down to know that the toy shines, creamed with lube and your own wetness. Sylus twists it around for the camera lens, offering a flexed bicep just to double-up on eye candy.

"Two more, darling," he croons, tossing it far on the bed to clean up later. "Still got it in you?"

He says it loud enough for a tease, but no one else can glean the concern from his eyes. He sees it too, the way you're blinking too slow now. Throat caught with silence because you're thinking too much and not at all at the same time.

"Colour?" He whispers. He cups your face when you close your eyes for too long.

The warmth brings you back, bliss colouring your head into lax satisfaction. "Green."

You think he says good girl, but all your senses clam up when you feel his cock pressing up inside you, whining deep from the heat sparked in your gut. Sylus presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Put on a show for them, baby."

It starts with clenched toes, spasming thighs where he keeps his hands to tuck your knees up. The perfect shot for the wet piston of his cock because he knows you always come the hardest when he's inside you, and you've got the arch of your back to show for it.

Suddenly you can't help but shake with choked laughter, because of course you already feel the build of an orgasm threatening its eruption. "I'm—ha—already—"

"I know, sweetie." Sylus slaps his hips hard just to watch you curl with a gasp. "Let me feel you."

Your chest caves, breaths lost when you watch the way his dick creams at the base, sticky sounds you hope your viewers appreciate. You whine loud, almost too corny with the volume.

"Oh—" Sylus picks up to painful speed, hips a hard threat on your clit and you're throwing your head back— "fuck, oh my God coming—!"

There's thirteen. Nothing slow or careful about it, just a frenzy you squeeze your pussy through and you moan with every pulse. Senses heightened to clarity only an orgasm can help you achieve, and it crashes just as fast when Sylus whistles: "One more?"

You fog over into submission. He takes it from you, leaning up into straighter posture to guarantee harder thrusts you feel into your hair. You come again, writhing from the barrage, eyes pinched with hot tears.

"Oh, my darling." Sylus curls over where you lie limp, pumping through his own orgasm with a deep groan, cum sliding down your ass for a dirty grand finale. You heave with another sob. "My sweet girl. I'm proud of you. And you're fucking hot when you cry."

"Down. Now," you plead, and immediately he coils his arms around your shaking body, shushing you sweetly. "It's—hot…"

"Where?"

"There." You burn. It aches, and Sylus knows immediately.

"Go ahead," he coos. "I'm right here, it's okay."

You squeeze through another wave of tears, hiccuping, and suddenly your pussy is warm, too warm, way too wet, and you weep and mewl and cry as the embarrassment tips you over, the cum drying on your ass washing down with your own dirty heat.

When you finally feel empty, you cry even harder. "Sy-lus—"

"Sh-h." He pets your head. "No more of that. Focus on my voice. I love you with my entire soul. My darling baby, my sweetheart. You did so, so well…"

He kisses your tears away as your mind fades to black.

[emeraldserenade]

Operation Kiss And Tell ~ Joaquín Torres

synopsis: You kiss Joaquín while on a mission to keep your cover

tw: fem!reader, reader wears a dress, none?, barely edited.

fic, ficlet, drabble, request

If you sent me the request that's sitting in my inbox, I promise I am working on it. Also, I had decided during class today that I would write a fic as long as the notes my professor gave out today is. It's 17 pages front and back, so I am deciding what to write. There is a poll that will be open for 1 day (starting a little after this is posted), so if you want a say go and vote.

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You and Joaquín were placed together, normally you never went undercover. You stayed in missions where you didn't have to pretend you were something else, it made you nervous to pretend. You always thought that you would ruin the mission with your inability to fake things, so when Sam told you that you had to pretend to be Joaquín's wife, you were terrified. Not of Joaquín, you could never be, but of the idea of faking something like that. Especially when you knew you were in love with Joaquín.

"Come on, it shouldn't be too hard," you mumbled to yourself as you adjusted the dress you were wearing.

"Are you talking to yourself?" Sam popped up in your door way making you yelp in surprise. Joaquín and Bucky both ended up behind Sam ready to help you.

"God, Sam, you scared the shit out of me!" You placed a hand over your heart and Bucky grumbled and left the doorway. Joaquín hung around for a little longer before leaving too.

"You didn't answer the question," Sam sat down on the edge of the bed, looking you over with a thoughtful look.

"Yes, I am talking to myself," you told him, sitting down next to him.

"Nervous?" Sam wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him.

"A little, yeah," you admitted, Sam ended up as your closest friend over the few months.

"Is it because you think you're going to be bad or because you're hopelessly in love with Joaquín," Sam questioned.

"I am not in love with," you paused as Joaquín walked into the room fully ready to go.

"Sure you aren't," Sam told you, not even caring that Joaquín was in the room.

"Are you ready?" Joaquín shifted his stance under both your and Sam's gaze.

"Yeah, let's go," you stood up and brushed your hands down your dress.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

"I'm sorry," you muttered, knowing what you were about to do. Joaquín didn't have time to ask what you were apologizing for before your lips landed on his. Joaquín barely hesitated before he was kissing you back with just as much intensity as you.

You peaked an eye open and saw your target slowly grabbing for his gun still. In another moment of panic, you pulled Joaquín closer by his collar. You felt his hands land on your waist and pull your hips flush against his. Another peak at the target let you know he let his gun go but was still watching you two. You decided to make the most out of this and completely focused on the feel of Joaquín's lips on yours.

"We've got the guy, where are you two?" Sam's voice from your comms pulled both you and Joaquín out of the kiss. You shared a look with Joaquín before you wiped the stray lipstick on his lips away and ran for the doors. You two met up with Sam and Bucky outside where they had the buy already in police custody.

"Sorry, we got caught in the crowd," you lied, knowing Sam would question you more about it later.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

"Got caught in the crowd?" Sam walked into the room you were staying at, you were freshly showered and lounging in bed in just an oversized shirt.

"Shut the door," you didn't even look up from your phone when you told him.

"So what really happened?" Sam ended up on the bed next to you, you could smell his body wash wafting off his skin.

"I kissed him," you put your phone down. "And he kissed me back," you added.

"Explanation?" Sam questioned.

"I noticed that the target saw us, he was reaching for his gun so in a moment of panic I kissed him. And he kissed me back, and I pulled him closer, and he pulled me closer. And his lips are so soft, and," Sam cut you off.

"Ok, I don't think I need to know more," Sam told you and you nodded. "That explains why he's just staring into pace with a stupid love sick look on his face," Sam told you and you looked at him.

"What?" You sat up straighter.

"Yeah, ever since he got out of the shower he's just been staring at the wall with the stupidest look of love plastered on his face," Sam explained. You and Sam talked for a while before he decided he was ready for bed, leaving you alone again.

✧°˖ . ݁˖︵‿❀‿︵˖ . ݁˖°✧

You might have been surprised when Joaquín walked into the room later that night, if it weren't for the fact that he had been coming to you after nightmares.

"Joaquín?" Your sleep filled brain made out the vague shape and look of Joaquín walking in the door.

"Hey," he gently greeted you before just slipping into the bed. Unlike the other nights, he hesitates to pull you closer to him.

"You ok?" You gently questioned, aware of how late it is.

"Yeah, just," Joaquín sighed and you got worried. "Did the kiss mean anything to you? I know you kissed me because of the target spotting us but," Joaquín trailed off and you smiled at him.

"Joaquín, that kiss meant so much to me," you admitted, he finally pulled you flush against him so you two could cuddle into each other's side.

"Good because it meant so much to me too," he told you and there was a silent agreement that whatever you two were going to do about this, you would do it together.

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Masterlist | Requests

[junkdrawerfan]

I have thoughts about Bruce & Parenting:

One of the reasons Jason runs away from home to find his birth mother (and eventually dies) is because Bruce benched him. Removing Robin from Jason made Jason think his time at the Manor was coming to a close, triggering his desire to return to his neighborhood which leads to him find our Catherine isn’t his birth mother. And all that heartache -- and the pain to follow -- stemmed from a misunderstanding that Jason thought he was “adopted” to be Robin while Bruce was just looking for a son.

This misunderstanding is never resolved. I would argue it is one of the keystones of the modern Jason-Bruce arguments. And it is never resolved because Bruce doesn’t know Jason didn't want to be Robin. After all, Jason genuinely enjoyed being Robin and Bruce thought he was being a "good dad" because he was making Jason happy while protecting him physically. After all, Jason asked to be Robin just as Dick did.

But why did Bruce allow Robin to be created in the first place?

My hypothesis… my interpretation is as such:

One of the failings of Bruce’s parenting with Jason and Dick is Bruce allows the child to set the expectations in the parent-child relationship.

You can see this A LOT in Bruce’s biggest blunders with Dick. When Dick was young (NINE!), Bruce let Dick decide to be Robin, throwing himself into danger, and running lead on cases without a lot of oversight or boundaries from Bruce. This pattern of behavior carries over into their civilian life. This has lead to interpretations of their father-son relationship being more like brother-brother in the early years. All of which, Bruce allows because Dick is physically small enough that Bruce can protect him from danger. Weirdly it’s the same logic small dog owners use to avoid teaching their dogs: why bother training them to stop jumping when you can just pick them up and move them. Of course kids don’t stay small forever.

As Dick got older and Bruce attempted — most likely subconsciously — to course correct by setting expectations like Dick needs to take his safety more seriously and slow down on hero-ing to allow for a civilian life, Dick is shocked and insulted, seeing it as Bruce not trusting him. When in reality, expecting your child to pursue some kind of job/college post high school is a not an unrealistic expectation nor is questioning if that child really wants to continue heroing, a very dangerous profession, into adulthood where Bruce can no longer protect him.

The problem is these expectations are being set way too late. Dick and Bruce have been operation for so long under Dick’s desires that it is such a shock to the system/routine that when it all comes to a head after Dick is shot by the Joker (triggering Bruce’s PTSD) it leads to a massive falling out. Of course, Bruce goes way too far in attempting to control the situation when he takes Robin away in a misguide attempt to bench Dick.

Of course we know how that works out.

Years later, once Jason is older, starting to push back against Bruce’s teachings, and is getting too big to hide under the cape, we see the same issue popping up. Bruce sees Jason acting out/getting angrier and is afraid Jason has killed a man (The Diplomat’s Son) and benches Jason. While Jason is used to following Bruce’s lead in the field, Jason definitely sets the expectations in their father-son relationship. So when Bruce attempts to take the reins by benching Robin — the one area in their lives that Bruce’s kids listen to Bruce — it, again, feels like a betrayal. This all culminates in Jason running away because he doesn’t feel stable at home (the same way Dick did).

(Side note: You could argue this is because Bruce’s biggest parenting influence is Alfred. Bruce views Alfred as a father figure but Alfred is never able to fully step outside his role as butler, no matter how much he wants to. This meant that Alfred the Butler enables Bruce a lot. That coupled with Alfred’s own violent past meaning Alfred doesn’t have a good frame of reference of what a child can handle in the first place, we end up with Batman.)

I don’t think Bruce really fixes his parenting until he gets Damian.

With Tim, Bruce provides stability — to the point Jack Drake feels threatened by Bruce’s presence in Tim’s life — but that is because Bruce is strictly the “mentor” in Tim’s life for the first few years, which helps establish a pattern in the relationship where Tim listens to Bruce’s expectations in and out of the mask. It also helps that Tim is less confrontational than Bruce’s other children and is less likely to argue directly with Bruce and more likely to go around Bruce while feeling guilty while he’s doing it lol.

Damian, from day one, is looking for a parent. And at this point — between Tim and Cass and fixing his relationship with Dick — Bruce has started to figure out how to manage his kids. This all culminates in a father-son relationship with Damian where Bruce, as the father, sets the expectations in and out of the mask. Bruce makes a lot of effort to bond with Damian in the Batman & Robin comics after he comes back from the dead. Bruce makes Damian go to school and expects him to socialize. He sets the moral framework for how Robin operates (which Dick started). After Damian comes back from the dead, Bruce knows Damian’s friends and is involved in his romantic life. He engages in Damian’s hobbies and encourages them. He also scolds Damian when he breaks the rules or tries to lie without ripping away Robin (shockingly low bar I know!).

Of course, I wouldn’t say Bruce is earning any parenting awards and I’m still reading about Damian and Bruce’s relationship so I’m sure there is information I’m missing. But Bruce seems like a much more involved parent now than he did with Dick.

But this is my interpretation of Bruce’s parenting so far!

[dollsahoy]

I hesitated to add to this, because this is already so long, but what I'm talking about would be more along the lines of people who don't preheat the oven.

If someone uses garlic in a cookie, the taste is going to say, "Oh, hey, there's garlic where there shouldn't be garlic."

If someone doesn't preheat the oven, the underdone cookies aren't going to say, "Yes, you think you baked us the correct amount of time, with the oven set at the correct temperature, but you didn't do the part where you let the oven reach the full temperature first, so what actually happened was that you did not bake us at the correct temperature the whole time, and that's why we are too soft and kinda raw tasting and not the least bit browned."

If someone doesn't understand why the oven needs to be preheated, or they don't want to take the time to let it preheat, or they think it's ridiculous to heat the oven with nothing in it because you have to pay for that!!!!! or if they think that preheating is somehow old fashioned and doesn't need to be done with modern ovens, or if they just completely skip the part about preheating because they're only concentrating on getting the food ingredients together and not even beginning to think about getting the cooking equipment properly prepared, then, well, yes, actually, they may not figure out what went wrong, and in the future might take improper steps (like increasing the temperature, or leaving the cookies in longer) that won't actually correct the problem, and will possibly make other problems.

The main difference is that there are a lot more posts on social media talking about why you should preheat your oven than there are posts about why you should follow all of the pattern directions--even the directions that you don't think apply--so someone who doesn't preheat their oven is more likely to stumble across the reason they should than someone who doesn't follow all of the pattern directions might stumble across that information.

(could also compare it to people who don't grease and flour their pans, then just assume that everyone is prying things out of pans with knives, because, again, they concentrate on the ingredients so much that they don't even stop to think that 'how the equipment is prepared' is going to make any difference and, frankly, seems like extra work that only old fuddy duddies would ever do anyway)

I cannot stress enough that all those things in sewing pattern instructions that seem pointless are actually very important

Yes, how you fold your fabric before putting down the pattern pieces and cutting matters, because it influences how the fabric drapes, and ignoring that can cause fit issues in ways you wouldn't expect

Yes, cutting an entire separate piece to sew to the edge to finish it is going to be better than turning the edge and stitching it on its own, because there are geometry issues in play that make it actually harder to just fold a curve to the inside.

Yes, cutting clips or notches into the seam allowance around curves should always be done, because those geometry issues will work on the seam allowances and keep the curve from laying flat (remember, clip when the curve goes in, notch when the curve goes out)

Yes, interfacing may seem completely superfluous and frustrating and an extra step to work with, but it adds rigidity and stability to areas that need it (especially under buttons)

Yes, using a fun quilting cotton print for lining looks nice, but the point of lining isn't to make the inside pretty as much as it is to make the inside slip smoothly over the layer under it, and quilting cotton is going to instead be prone to grabbing everything under it, so you really should use those annoyingly slippery lining fabrics

Yes, in general, you should use the kind of fabric the pattern tells you to use, because there have been centuries, if not millennia, of people throughout the entire world figuring out what fabric best suits what kind of garment, for reasons beyond aesthetics

I know that a lot of people new to sewing see these things and feel like they're things that just aren't necessary, because they skip them when they sew and the item ends up just fine. And if you don't mind the idea of your clothes looking homemade, then it is fine. But...if you're consistently skipping these things and end up unhappy with how homemade your items look, please consider that that result is at least partly because you're not following the entire directions

"Sewing" involves so much more than just the stitches

[martzahhh]

pretty little birds. pt. 2

hamzah x youtuber!reader

a/n: hey so i Hate This. But anyway like 90% of !reader's captions will be song lyrics sorry she has the same music taste as me. Also very very important all the people on those posts are just random people most of the time (excluding anyone from the slushyverse! Those are intentionally there) and if its a female presenting person its !reader and if its a male presenting one its usually hamzah :3

yourusername

liked by hamzahthefantastic, chaserutherford and 3,482,931 others

yourusername cheated on my bitch with a bitch with bigger tittie$

user1 shes the coolest

user2 hamzah twice in the post oh okay i see how it is

user3 the quote.. so real! our esoteric queen! • liked by author

clairedrakee Swag • liked by author

> yourusername wish i had as much as u

hamzahthefantastic Cancel her she's promoting substance use

> yourusername cancel deez nuts into yo mouth lil boy

> hamzahthefantastic Ok mommy

> user4 WHATTHEHELLL

user5 when are you gonna stream againnnnnn

> yourusername this thursday! tune in <3

user6 why does she keep hanging out with that loser • liked by author

> hamzahthefantastic Cause she can't roll her own joints

> yourusername pillow princess

and yet another evening of waiting eagerly for hamzah to knock on her door. she made herself look especially pretty today- her excuse being, we're doing a stream. deep down she knew it was all for him, but hated to admit it even to herself. because what would it mean to their friendship?

having put on a cozy outfit, she still decided to do her makeup nicer than she normally would. putting on a lipgloss he once talked about, and some perfume he complimented her over. she didn't even notice how gravitated towards those things she was, almost like she didn't want to notice. as she stood next to her bathroom mirror, trying to somehow get her hair to cooperate, the long awaited sound finally came- he rang the doorbell. after letting out a quiet, nervous 'fuck!' over her incompetence, she ran to the door to let him in as soon as possible. she did miss him, she really did.

"hey", hamzah let out, stepping into her apartment. "you look really pretty today"

she chuckled nervously and hugged his side, trying not to act too suspicious. "thanks. wanted to look presentable for the stream or whatever"

"you did a great job. i love your hair", he said, looking at her with unmistakable adoration, which somehow slipped past her. she gave him a small smile in response, not wanting for him to notice how affected she was by his compliments.

on the other hand, hamzah was just as nervous. she smelled incredible and it really messed with his head. he could feel the perfume probably from a mile away and recognise the unique blend it created with her natural scent. he truly felt crazy. who the hell thinks this way about their friend? who wishes they could just spray the perfume on their pillow for comfort?

"anyway, i did bring the food. got some mexican, i hope you're in the mood for that", he said hesitantly, to which she smiled again.

"oh yeah, that sounds amazing. wanna go settle it down in the office? i'll make us some tea in the meantime"

"of course", he whispered, before pinching her shoulder and heading to the said room. it was decorated nicely, very much in her style. as soon as he stepped in there, he noticed her dog lounging on its bed, looking at him with curious eyes, almost as if asking him for a pet, to which he obviously obliged.

after some time, y/n came into the room as well, holding two cups in her hand, noticeably one of them being hamzah's favourite. "there you go", she said quietly after settling it down on the desk next to their food. she sat down on the chair next to him, the dog immediately hopping onto her lap, making them both emit a small laugh.

"what do you wanna play on the stream?", he asked.

"i feel like we could play sims...? if you're up for it"

"yeah that sounds nice. do you also have that freaky mod with nakedness and shit?"

they both laughed, remembering how surprised him and martin were while filming sims videos with mandy. "nah, i don't".

"damn, you've been outfreaked".

she laughed at the comment. "what the fuck".

after a while of those snarky remarks, she finally turned the stream on, the camera showing both of them eating their food.

"hey everyone! let's wait a little bit till more people get on here..." "anyway, i'm here with hamzah today as you can see", she turned to the side as he waved at her computer.

"hi guys...", he said nonchalantly.

"bro you're not him", she laughed at his tone, and his facade snapped.

"boi come on, let me appeal a bit to your audience"

"aurafarming final boss", she said, laughing to the camera.

taglist: @moshuka @felixsbrat @rafesgurl @khxna @mirinaeii @xarerie @tbfaptbfae @vivianne666 @certainfestivalnerdshepherd @asthmaticcchoeee @loverzxi @chrisgetsmewetter (for some reason not all @'s are working i think?? So if i didnt tag you or tagged you on accident lmk lol!)

[vcaart]

Starry Belief, Luminary of the Stars!!! Even crying foals adore this pony!

(More on Starry Belief below! Some of it isn't "scientifically accurate" but I'm using the excuse that it's fiction so shhhh):

Starry Belief, whether or not you want to believe it's true, is the first pony to ever reach space! Well, almost reached it. He was only up there for a moment before he fell back down. Ever since then he's been determined to reach space! He may be stubborn and bull-headed, but he is always willing to lend a helping hoof to creatures in need. His grandparents taught him better than that!

Starry was an only foal, and while he did have two loving parents they unfortunately passed away in an accident when he was a young foal. This left him to be taken in by his caring and kind grandparents who lived on a quiet farm. While Starry loved his grandparents just as much as the next foal, he refused to believe his parents were actually gone and flew away.

While he had always been a strong flier, he had greatly underestimated to how strong he truly was. He flew up, and up, until he was far above the clouds and Equestria below. The young foal was determined to find his parents, and flew higher and faster than any other pony ever had.

He only caught a glimpse of space, a glimpse of what lied beyond their world, before he came crashing back down to earth. He was sure lucky his grandparents caught him before he gained too much momentum while falling! His back now covered in what looked like a galaxy spilled over him and his cutie mark bright on his flank!

Ever since then, he's been determined to reach space again! Safely this time, of course. So he would spend nights studying, and during the days he wasn't completely exhausted from all-nighters he made plenty of friends with the other colts his age! Unfortunately, when his grandparents began to grow more weak with old age, he spent less and less time with his friends to help take care of them.

It didn't take long for his grandparents to step in and sign him up for the newly opened Hope's Peak Academy of Friendship, not willing to let him tie himself down to care for them. While Starry initially protested, his grandparent's equally stubborn nature won him over and he finally left for the academy with the reassurance they'd be okay.

Starry Belief was the first pony to stand up to the bear threatening to take their cutie marks, and he will continue fighting to keep the Elements of Harmony safe while keeping their cutie marks! It didn't matter if it seemed like it was impossible to have both, the impossible is possible! And all they have to do is make it so!

In the final standoff between the class and the power hungry now alicorns, Hazy Light ,with the help of his friends, bring the Elements of Harmony together to end things once and for all.

Starry Belief is given the Element of Honesty!

The lineup so far! If you couldn't tell, Wild Card's colors have been very minorly changed and H0-P3's height has been fixed! Since I've posted Sanguine, there have been no new *finished* additions to cast, but I am working on some new ponies!

[festivating]

what's your favorite gelphie fic?

OOF just one is so hard. here's a few of my favs. though more than being my favorite fics these are my favorite gelphie authors so assume i love everything they've posted!

The Love Club by OrkButch. just delightful. extremely queer and extremely heartfelt. and it has my favorite things ever like grief, healing, learning to be in a relationship, and nuanced portrayals of elphaba & nessa's dynamic. very formative to my perception of book!elphie, i learned a lot about her with this fic even if it's a modern AU!

Wiretapped Life by tinyace. another fic that has aaaaaaall of my favorite things like grief, healing, learning to be in a rel--- you get the gist. also it has nor! more fics should have nor! no but seriously this fic is incredible and has some of the best explorations i've seen on asexuality, aromanticism, gender, queer platonic relationships, and how to navigate a shitload of trauma in a cruel world when you have so much love to give. the gelphie dynamic is so nuanced and the worldbuilding is so intriguing and well done and glinda is a poor little meow meow and agh. could talk about this one forever. also if you've read attrition you will like this one, it has so many similar themes sam and i are always joking our brains are the same lol

The Last True Eminent Thropp by Ridiculous Mavis. ask any gelphie fan who was here before november 2024 for their favorite gelphie fics and they will probably mention ridiculous mavis. read everything on her page, seriously. yes even if it's ff dot net. do it. do it right now. this one is my favorite of hers!

Per Aspera Ad Astra (Through Hardships Towards the Stars) by show_me_the_universe. this one is still unfinished but i have enjoyed it so much! gelphie are so cute and so teenagers and they go through so much and their dynamic with each other is the sweetest thing. also has great dynamics between the charmed circle which it's also one of my favorite things :)

Aftermath by narta_shall_survive. another one where glinda is a poor little meow meow. i read this fic like a year ago and brother it has stuck with me. i love the way glinda is written and it has my FAVORITEEE glinda & crope dynamic. also it blends musical and book in such a smooth way and the prose is so crunchy.

and my saint, she is dancing by Mayverix. this one is extremely clever and soo well written. i adore this author's prose so much. made me ache in the best way possible. the way book!gelphie is captured here is just superb.

oh and of course i love the classics aka gretchenmaurice's works. all of them from the long ones to the most recent ones :)

now!!! i haven't read too many movie fics (yet) but here are two that stuck with me and that i love and have very much informed the way i see and write the movieverse gelphie dynamic.

the faint of heart by Verannode. vampire!galinda. and if that wasn't enough she totally thinks she's in some sort of romcom while elphaba is in a supernatural mystery or something. it's just the best thing ever. the dialogue is so whimsical and hilarious and galinda is incredibly delusional and dramatic and i love her. i've reread this a bunch of times it always makes me laugh.

PERENNIAL by anaphoruh. no joke this fic is one of my favorite ones ever. it's just so. i can't even explain it the way its written scratches my brain in the BEST way imaginable. the prose is so elegant and smooth i want to study it. it's the perfect blend of book and MOVIE which i didn't think was possible. the descriptions are so fun and engaging. the gelphie dynamic is delicious. galinda is insanely rich and elphie is her sugar baby in the most lowkey way possible. i adore it.

now not related to the movie at all. last but not least. there is Emerald City Lies by Beta Nova. listen to me. i would never recommend a fic on ff dot net that was last updated in 2016 if it wasn't worth it. i started reading this fic on a plane and it was so good i literally had to stop reading it so i could savor it. made myself read only one chapter a day and yes it's unfinished and yet i reread it once a year. it's so good.

anyway! thanks for asking <3

[dresshistorynerd]

#William Morris#fast fashion#long posts#reblogging this post I have to add that I own I think five pieces from that collection (four bought new and one secondhand)#I wouldn't buy them new now#but a couple of the dresses I particularly love#those two in the pictures are the worst in the collection I think#obviously using synthetic and toxic dyes and fabrics goes against everything he stood for#it would be great to own something similar using natural dyes (which aren't always great for the environment either) and fabric#but a more artisanal approach would definitely be more expensive#which is something he struggled with in his life time#as only middle and upper class people could really afford his designs#I'm sure the OP's done more research around that than I have#as I just wrote one essay about it about 12 years ago#about reproductions of his designs in general#so my memory's a bit hazy on the little research I did do#that's a lot of tag rambling with little conclusion#it's an interesting subject with a lot to think about

My purpose definitely was not to make anyone feel bad about having any piece from this collection (or really any other mass produced thing with Morris' design), so I hope you keep enjoying and loving the clothing that you have from this collection! It's not the fault of the consumer that we are deprived of Good Art TM, like Morris himself wrote, the destruction of artistry is just as much a crime against the user as it is against the maker. The people making decisions at H&M are the ones who should feel bad about this. I'm also not commenting about like the aesthetics and the taste of it all regarding this collection, since that's not really what Good Art TM in Morris' view was about, and I'm sure in a vacuum many pieces from this collection can look nice.

Morris was frustrated about being only able to sell to middle and upper class people and the compromises he had to make to achieve even that, but in his view the solution was not abandon Good Art TM, but to redistribute wealth so that even working class people can afford a good simple life, which involves Good Art TM, scale down the overindulgent lifestyles of the rich that are not actually fulfilling because they lack Good Art TM and move away from profit focused economy, with of course the end goal being abolishment of capitalism all together. He said in one interview:

"I have got to understand thoroughly the manner of work under which the Art of the Middle Ages was done, and that is the only manner of work which can turn out popular art, only to discover that it is impossible to work in that manner in this profit-grinding society. (..) Except with a small part of the more artistic side of the work, I could not do anything (or at least but little) to give this pleasure to the workmen, because I should have had to change their method of work so utterly that I should have disqualified them from earning their living elsewhere."

He means with "the Art of the Middle Ages" pre-industrial art, basically craftsmanship. And with "popular art" he means traditional folk art, not high art, nor the common meaning today as in mass-produced art, but art made by the common people for the common people. Popular art often referred to mass-produced art already in his day, and he often made the point that mass-produced art is not the "real" popular art since it's designed and produced by the capitalist class, only the work is done by workers, but the decisions on what and how it's done are not.

Of course his method of production was more expensive and today too hand-crafted products are more expensive, but that's not a bug, that's a feature. In our economic model it means only rich and middle class people can afford stuff like that, but Morris didn't want our economic model. He wanted to create a world, where all workers have agency and get good compensation for their work, where there's no owner class that steals worker's profits and creates massive income differences, where we don't over produce and over consume, and everyone gets enough high quality things that last long without owning in excess. If all workers got craftsmanship worth of money and got to keep all that, they would also be able to buy artisanal products. Not in excess of course, but mass-producing in excess is finally coming to bite us in the ass and destroying our world, a thing Morris already warned about. So we shouldn't own things in excess and we wouldn't need to or feel the need to if everything we owned was high quality, made with love and had value to us beyond it's price. This becomes very obviously true when learning about history. People in the past, especially in pre-industrial societies, who on very simplified monetary level were much poorer than most people today (I mean when you don't take into account that in most of these village communities you didn't need to buy the necessities of life but your community collectively produced and shared them), had much higher quality artisanal possessions than basically anyone today.

But again, this is not about personal consumption. No one of us workers and regular consumers have the power to change this with our personal consumption. It's not our fault we have to settle for poor quality rags. I don't want anyone to feel bad about owning fast fashion or having to rely on fast fashion. Feeling guilty doesn't help, feel angry for being deprived of better options, and being forced to participate in the exploitation of others. The best we can do is to try to get as good and enjoyable things we can when we need them and use them with care as long as possible and try to develop our identity and personal expression as independent from consumption as possible. Personally I mean. Of course together we are many and with political action we can do much much more. Unionizing and supporting unions is a great start for all bigger political changes, since we have power in numbers and to utilize that power we need to organize. For more immediate political change particularly in the fashion industry, I wrote a couple of plausible political changes I think we should try to enact right now at the end of my post on the state of the fashion industry.

The Morrisian case against fast fashion

Today I discovered that H&M made a William Morris collection some years ago. The heath death of the universe can't come quickly enough. We can stop now. Satire is dead and we killed her.

It's not just the whole concept of H&M using William Morris' designs for their fast fashion which is insanity inducing, but also the critical response it garnered. Like sure, people did realize this is insane and there was a lot of think pieces about it at the time, but I read several of them and they all seem to still miss the point in spectacular way.

The basic premise of these think pieces go along the lines of: "Would William Morris spin in his grave with a speed of light because of the H&M collection of his designs? A difficult question indeed. William Morris was a complicated man. He wanted art to be affordable to everyone. Isn't H&M affordable? That kinda fits. Though probably he would have some concerns about H&M's practices."

On the surface - yes - but like in reality - fuck no. There's no nuance in this particular issue. He talked about many times what he though of the H&Ms of his time, the retailers selling poor quality industrially produced "fashionable" bullshit. We know exactly what he would have thought of H&M. Here's couple of quotes from his 1884 lecture "Art and Socialism", which makes it very clear.

"It would be an instructive day's work for any one of us who is strong enough to walk through two or three of the principal streets of London on a week-day, and take accurate note of everything in the shop windows which is embarrassing or superfluous to the daily life of a serious man. Nay, the most of these things no one, serious or unserious, wants at all; only a foolish habit makes even the lightest-minded of us suppose that he wants them, and to many people even of those who buy them they are obvious encumbrances to real work, thought and pleasure. But I beg you to think of the enormous mass of men who are occupied with this miserable trumpery, from the engineers who have had to make the machines for making them, down to the hapless clerks who sit day-long year after year in the horrible dens wherein the wholesale exchange of them is transacted, and the shopmen, who not daring to call their souls their own, retail them amidst numberless insults which they must not resent, to the idle public which doesn't want them but buys them to be bored by them and sick to death of them."

He is describing the birth of consumerism, which was taking form during his lifetime in the late Victorian Era, which fast fashion is the extreme logical conclusion of, and he fucking hated it. He specifically railed against endless consumerist products, which H&M is the perfect representation of. It was definitely not the art and beauty he believed everyone required and deserved. He makes the distinction often.

"Now if we are to have popular Art, or indeed Art of any kind, we must at once and for all be done with this luxury; it is the supplanter, the changeling of Art; so much so that by those who know of nothing better it has even been taken for Art, the divine solace of human labour, the romance of each day's hard practice of the difficult art of living."

"And here furthermore is at least a little sign whereby to distinguish between a rag of fashion and a work of Art: whereas the toys of fashion when the first gloss is worn off them do become obviously worthless even to the frivolous—a work of Art, be it ever so humble, is long lived; we never tire of it; as long as a scrap hangs together it is valuable and instructive to each new generation. All works of Art in short have the property of becoming venerable amidst decay: and reason good, for from the first there was a soul in them, the thought of man, which will be visible in them so long as the body exists in which they were implanted."

When he thought of popular Art he thought of the craftsmanship of the common people. The art people have made from useful everyday objects with skillful handicrafts. This is what he means by "divine solace of human labour". It's not reverence of Puritanical work ethic, on the contrary, it's the reverence of creation, of the earnest joy people feel when they get to express themselves through their creative pursuits. He certainly didn't believe in work for work's sake, work needed to be worthwhile and enjoyable. He summarized his own position on what labour should be thusly:

"It is right and necessary that all men should have work to do which shall be worth doing, and be of itself pleasant to do; and which should he done under such conditions as would make it neither over-wearisome nor over-anxious."

He urged his middle class audience to reject consumerism (the lecture was for a very much middle class atheist society):

"For I say again that in buying these things: 'Tis the lives of men you buy! Will you from mere folly and thoughtlessness make yourselves partakers of the guilt of those who compel their fellow men to labour uselessly?"

I think it's glaringly obvious H&M and fast fashion in general is what he would consider luxury. Rags of fashion that are just churned out and discarded without thought and produced by compelling people to labour uselessly. It's not popular art that's made by workers and craftsmen, who are able to express themselves through it. There's no agency for the abused workers in H&M's sweatshops, they are not expressing their joy of creation, they are simply labouring uselessly.

Morris didn't shame workers for buying affortable things even if they weren't Art with big A, because that's the problem he despised the whole economic system for, for taking away the popular Art from people, making it inaccessible, and selling back mass produced products with very little practical or aesthetic value. So I don't think he would have problem with people who can only afford fast fashion today. They are the victims of capitalism too, because Art has been taken away from them. But the idea that some of these think pieces had that perhaps the H&M's Morris collection can be good actually if you squint, that H&M has the capacity to bring the art and beauty Morris advocated for for the people, is level of stupidity that's hard to express in words.

Morris didn't believe anything made with exploited labour could be truly beautiful, truly art. In his 1879 lecture "The Art of the People" he put it like this:

"That thing which I understand by real art is the expression by man of his pleasure in labour."

The way I understand this, is that art is communication. Through it we communicate feelings, ideas and thoughts, that is it's purpose. So for that communication to work, for it to be imbued with message, the person making it needs to feel passion and love for it's creation. How can there be love and passion if the hands making the garment belong to a tired exploited worker who has no agency what so ever in their work and can only think about survival to the next day?

Beyond the fundamental exploitativeness of H&M and fast fashion, this collection would still get zero points on aesthetic values from Morris even with his own designs. Because the work itself was such an important part of art for Morris, good design was nothing without good craftsmanship. Good design in his mind was always relative and dependent on it's purpose.

"For everything made by man’s hands has a form, which must be either beautiful or ugly; beautiful if it is in accord with Nature, and helps her; ugly if it is discordant with Nature, and thwarts her; it cannot be indifferent." (The Lesser Arts, 1877)

Here when he says nature, he means the nature of the thing that is made - basically it's purpose and function - and the nature of the materials it's made from. Basically, the design must always be made to bring out the function of the art and the qualities of the material it's made from, not fight against them. This is because he believed handicrafts were uniquely suitable for expressing the love of creation, therefore superior labour, and to really bring out the qualities of the craftsmanship and enjoy the creative process, the design should be suitable for that craft. The other side, which was the joy of using and experiencing art, required the craft to be selected for the suitable purpose. Using poorly functioning furniture for example is not very enjoyable, nor is using clothing that's made from materials that are not suitable for the climactic conditions it's supposed to be used in.

H&M of course utterly fails in this. They use Morris' designs in fully unsuitable ways. They print patterns made for example for wall papers on poor quality fabrics with synthetics dyes they weren't made for. This line from one blog post I came across really got me: "Therefore, without cheapening the artistic value of Morris’ designs, H&M’s collection offers an unparalleled potential for accessibility to them." No. Fuck no. They do in fact cheapen Morris' designs in every single way possible. Literally this is atrocious.

Despite the popular depiction, Morris wasn't in fact against industrial machinery or industrial art even, or at least he wasn't once his views on art and politics matured. He did think technology was useful, but he thought the people should use industrial methods for the benefit of all, not be enslaved by the industrial machine.

"I have spoken of machinery being used freely for releasing people from the more mechanical and repulsive part of necessary labour; and I know that to some cultivated people, people of the artistic turn of mind, machinery is particularly distasteful, and they will be apt to say you will never get your surroundings pleasant so long as you are surrounded by machinery. I don't quite admit that; it is the allowing machines to be our masters and not our servants that so injures the beauty of life nowadays. In other words, it is the token of the terrible crime we have fallen into of using our control of the powers of Nature for the purpose of enslaving people, we care less meantime of how much happiness we rob their lives of." ("How we live and how we might live", 1887)

However, he thought that the designer should approach it the way they approached any craft, by designing for the strengths of the machine work.

"But if you have to design for machine-work, at least let your design show clearly what it is. Make it mechanical with a vengeance, at the same time as simple at possible. Don't try, for instance, to make a printed plate look like a hand-painted one: make it something which no one would try to do if he were painting by hand..." ("Art and the Beauty of the Earth", 1881)

He did use some machinery for fabric and wall paper printing, but he was very intentional about their use. Still his designs weren't made for the type of methods these modern H&M machinery uses and he did for example use natural dyes. Particularly insulting is that some of the H&M clothes are made from viscose, rayon made with viscose method. Viscose method is extremely toxic and is known to cause long term health consequences for the workers and the people in surrounding areas. This has been well proven knowledge for ages. William Morris' wall paper factory in the beginning used the typical method used at the time which involved arsenic, but once he learned this could pose risks for the workers, he changed the method. Many of the new synthetic dyes were toxic at the time, which is the major reason he so favoured natural dyes, known to not cause health issues for workers or pollute the environment.

The question many of these think pieces about the H&M Morris collection posed was, would Morris disapprove and should we care? The first part of that is very easy to answer. Yes. Of course Morris would disapprove. He is currently powering the whole of British Isles with purely the kinetic energy his grave-spinning produces. Should we care though? If you care about Morris' art, if you want to see more of that kind of art in this world, you should care. Morris' art is not about the superficial qualities. Copying his designs and aesthetics and styles, will only lead to hollow imitations, that are exactly what he described the rags of fashion to be; as the shininess of novelty wears off they will reveal themselves to be soulless, useless and utterly empty. This collection is just that. To see more of the kind of art that makes you feel like his art makes you feel, not just something that reminds you of that feeling, you should focus more on the way the art is made and less on the specific aesthetics. If his vision of labour and art was realised, all art produced of course wouldn't be loved by every person, but all of it would be loved by someone, even if that someone was just the maker. And that would be more worthwhile than every single rag of fast fashion.

I will stop William-Morris-posting now and return to my thesis.

The full texts I quoted here:

Art and Socialism The Art of the People The Lesser Arts How We Live and How We Might Live Art and the Beauty of the Earth

[catinasockinsideabox]

The Dickkory and Dickbabs subreddits are... LONG POST

After reading a comment under one of my posts from a moderator of a Dick and Barbara subreddit, i decided to open reddit and check the subreddit, seeing if making an account on reddit was worthy or not. While searching Nightwing, i found a subreddit about Dick and Kory too. For the new people who haven't read many of my posts: I don't mind Dick and Kory together and i enjoy the fan arts, i got beef with some toxic shippers, that's it.

I don't have words to describe my short experience. I have A LOT of questions.

Is the subreddit about Dick and Kory or about bashing Dick and Barbara, Barbara and the shippers of the other ship?

I got addicted to the Dick x Barbara subreddit and been spending almost an hour scrolling on it to see and read posts. I think the last 'Rant' They have a flair for rant posts. 10 points for whoever made it post i've seen is from 6/7 months ago.

On the Dick x Kory subreddit, the moment i got on it, the first post i saw was a 'mocking' one. Keeping scrolling, buried by the fan arts posts you're gonna find a lot of posts mocking the other ship or talking badly of Barbara and the Dickbabs shippers, commenting everything they say and 'insulting' them. Is that all there is to talk about on there if not enjoying fan arts? On the DxB subreddit i've seen some posts asking questions, on this one there are more bad posts. When there is a post asking a question, it's still gonna mock the other shippers.

Now i wonder, the moderators do something about this? I'm sorry if there's one moderator who have tumblr and is reading this but i have to say this. This is toxic behavior. For the shippers of Dick and Kory who complain about the Dick x Barbara shippers talking bad about them, this is not helping their case.

In the recent post i saw on the subreddit, someone in the comments said they found the post disrespectful, the op replied explaining how the other shippers of the other ship and dc writers do the same. The person who made the comment answered op saying that they shouldn't do the same.

If this person is reading this post, i'm sending you a kiss. That must take a lot of courage to say there. This person is getting dislikes for saying both girls should be respected. I was relieved to see few others disagreeing with the post.

I would have said it myself but it's not my place ON their subreddit and i didn't want to make an account for now.

That comment reminded me how i was called out once by a DxK shipper for something like this. I said something, they had called me out and i told them that other shippers of the DxK do the same, so why shouldn't i. That person told me that just because they do, it doesn't mean i should do the same.

So if a DxB shipper do it it's wrong but if a DxK does it it's alright? Sure, fine, ok, i understand.

I once again apologize if a moderator of that subreddit is reading this but let me give you an advice i know this sentence sounds mean but it's not, i want to believe that whoever you are you're a good person who's trying their best to be a good moderator but it's hard on a big subreddit there's an important need of better moderation. I don't know anything about reddit, don't know if i want to know more but i know that for how the things are going, not many people shippers or not are gonna view the DxK shippers. I'm not saying there should never be a rant post, i'm saying those rant and mock posts should be lessened and more civil. Outside all this, i'll let you know i really enjoyed the fan arts!

On the other side, for the moderators of the DxB subreddit...I don't know if you guys did something but the posts surely changed a lot in months. As i said from the start, the rant posts are all old. While i don't agree with some things that were said in those i'm relieved to see how old those are and how there aren't many anymore.

If those subreddits should be a safe place for shippers, it doesn't mean they should be places where people are free to insult and attack others. If you can't see the problem and get mad about this post, i don't know what to tell you.

You want DxB shippers to shut up and stop bad mouthing your ship and Kory? This isn't the way. This way, you're just ruining the reputation of your favorite ship. I get you're angry at how even writers bury and erase DxK but it doesn't mean you should bad mouth the other ship too because others do.

Also i'd like to apologize again to any moderator from both subreddits if they're reading this and feel somewhat attacked, this isn't the meaning of this post. Sending a virtual friendly forehead kiss to you guys.

Now i'd like to say something about the tags on this post.

Since when i'm trying to get good replies to have a discussion or finally someone bringing up a nice come back that makes sense but people just comment about how i shouldn't tag Dickkory in this and ignore the post, i'm making it clear here so you don't need to waste time leaving a comment :

Tumblr works through tags. It's true that you don't want to see the boring rare Dickkory critique post in the Dickkory tag but it works like this.

When i scroll through the Damian Wayne tag i also don't want to see the bad posts and i am just looking for fics or art but if it's about Damian Wayne what is that person supposed to tag the post as if they want people to see it and maybe have discussions or read about people's opinions?

This said, useless comments about the tags that aren't bringing up a good discussion and criticize the tag choice are gonna get deleted. You can say anything about the post and i won't touch your comment if not replying but if all you have to say is whine about the tags don't even bother to leave a comment.

Edit for people who clearly didn't understand what i said : No matter who attacked who first, you're still both wrong. If the DxB shippers attacked you first then they're wrong, i don't approve it. It doesn't mean you should attack them back. Yea the guy attacked that bully so i should attack them too, is what you guys in the comments are saying. Does it sound right to you? You answer violence with more violence? Also i'd like to specify that yea i'm doing the same but this is a blog dedicated to it. And others have one too so, thanks to your logic, i can have one too because the others do so too. The subreddit is not about attacking others, it's about the ship, sharing arts and content about it but yea i'm new so how should i know right. Call it 'hate dickbabs club' at this point and nothing change.

[butterflydm]

WoT 3x04 Deep Dive (book spoilers addition)

We made it! We achieved Rhuidean. This show keeps taking things that I feel have to be unfilmable and doing the impossible with them. Spoilers through 3x04 of the show and A Memory of Light for the books.

This is actually relatively short, because I was able to cover most thoughts in the show spoilers only post!

The idea that the best "weapon" is one that is not solely a weapon but can be used for other things was also a big focus of Perrin's storyline in the books (...even though axes can absolutely be used as tools, so I think the show did a good move by attaching the idea of 'axe as weapon' to his violence via killing Laila instead of making it just an inherent property of axes), but we also see it echoed in Rand & Mat, and in the Aiel as a whole. A sword is only ever a sword, but a bow or a spear can put food on the table. Perrin used an axe for violence, but he's used a hammer for creation.

So. Rand touching his ear in this talk with Lan.

The reason that I mention this is because Josha has read the books and knows them well so... check out his hands after he says, "There are so many things I can't be" in this opening conversation with Lan. In the books, Rand thumbing his ear is a tell that "Lews Therin" is also present in that moment. In the books, it was usually used when "Lews Therin" was finding a woman attractive but Rand didn't want to attach that feeling to himself, but the show might use it more generally. It might be that Rand has done this before on the show, but this is the first time it's really stood out to me. Is Rand attaching his nostalgia for home to LTT so that he doesn't have to feel it himself?

They are definitely making Rand a lot more open to the Aiel in the show, which fits with how he is trying less to be "hard" than he was at this point in the books. That Rand believed that he needed to use the Aiel as a tool and tried to keep his emotional distance because of it. This Rand does still see the Aiel as a potential tool, but he also sees the potential of a connection there too.

In the books, the romantic relationship between Rand and Aviendha was treated (at first) as a "binding cord" between Rand and the Aiel (by the Wise Ones, for sure) and that kind of dropped away as the books went on and we spent so long with Rand and Aviendha separated, and it ended up being Aviendha's first-sister relationship with Elayne that became more of a binding cord. I wonder if the show is going to keep that connection between Rand and Aviendha more present in the show. Much like we see Rand and Moiraine share a moment after they've both been through a trial of Rhuidean, Rand and Aviendha shared a moment as well, and the show may build on that (hopefully! It looks like they're sitting near each other in one of the shots in the promo for 3x05).

Something I noticed in the books, and something that I wonder if the show will follow, is that we never meet any clan chiefs or Wise Ones who are Darkfriends (please correct me if I'm wrong). Given that the columns seem to be almost alive, in how they are described, and how clearly the moments that it shows people must have been plucked out by a purpose, I wonder if the columns also weed out Darkfriends. They were created by Aes Sedai in the books, and by one specific Aes Sedai (Latra) in the show. We meet selfish or short-sighted or even cruel Wise Ones and clan chiefs, but I don't think any of them are ever shown to be Darkfriends.

One thing that is likely certain is that no one is allowed to be a clan chief if they don't have Aiel blood (and it probably has to be the father's blood, due to how the columns appear to work). Wise Ones... might be more flexible. Difficult to say. I imagine that adopting from outside the Aiel is pretty uncommon -- I suspect that Melindhra and Tigraine will be shown to be exceptions rather than a general rule -- so it likely doesn't come up much.

They don't mention here that gai'shain only serve for a year and a day, but I am currently assuming that it's still true because... I mean, you'd end up with a pretty large portion of your people who are gai'shain.

Lan's Aiel nickname honestly makes so much more sense to me in the context of Melindhra being a Malkieri child adopted by a Wise Ones and them having more awareness of Lan and what happened to Malkier. In the books, we never really get a reason why they admire him so much.

The Rand & Aviendha scenes were such a delight in this episode! Hopefully we'll get more of them interacting in 3x05, though I'm hoping that it's the Randgwene break-up episode, so we might not have time for much Avirand, because all sorts of other plotlines will be going on with the Two Rivers and with Tanchico (and I think I saw a hint of the White Tower in the trailer too, so four different main plotlines and locations).

If Rand & Egwene do break up in 3x05, then we might get another good moment like this one between Rand & Aviendha in 3x06, since I'm kinda expecting us to get the attack on Cold Rocks Hold in that episode ("the shadow in the night" sounds like a good name for that event) and Aviendha & Rand do get a moment there in the books. I think the show would keep it around the same level as they got in this episode, since the Randgwene breakup (fingers crossed) would still be pretty fresh, but the way this episode separated Rand & Egwene made me feel hopeful for a sooner rather than later break up (well, it's still kinda later, since we're already in the second half of the season, but you know what I mean).

The show leaning hard on Rand & Aviendha both having a duty to the Aiel people. And as we saw with Rand & Moiraine, going to Rhuidean can help bridge gaps, which we already saw a hint of in the final Rand & Aviendha scene.

And the cords of duty are something that Rand, Aviendha, and Elayne can all share -- we had that scene with Elayne and Rand in 3x01, and Elayne also told Aviendha that she did believe that Rand would accept his duty to her people, and she encouraged Rand along that path as well. So, if we get s4, it really does feel like we could see Avirandlayne coming together naturally as Elayne helps Rand adjust to wetlander political rule, as Aviendha continues to help with Aiel cultural knowledge.

I mentioned a caveat to the whole "the Taardad seem the most invested in the Car'a'carn in the show" thing in my other post and it's about the Maidens, of course. The Maidens, as a society, also have a huge reason to be extremely invested in having the Car'a'carn be found. In having a son of a Maiden finally return to them. I do hope that they'll go into that in either 3x05 or 3x06 (I will cry if we get the Maidens telling Rand that they want to carry his honor).

I wonder if we're going to have a lot fewer Wise Ones than we had in the books (where the Shaido alone had something like two hundred who could channel?). I think I read that the number of Aiel clans is eight now (which matches how many Aes Sedai it takes to shield & gentle even the strongest male channeler)? So that's only eight men at a time who have gone through the columns. They may have also cut down on the number of Wise Ones per clan so that the numbers aren't quite so disproportionate to each other. That's a lot fewer people to carry the legacy of the Aiel's past than we have in the books. And it'll be a much stronger break when Rand reveals that past to everyone.

Do we know if Aram is in the next episode? I am really wondering when we're going to get our present-day follow-up to Lewin breaking the Way of the Leaf -- will it be in the next episode, during Perrin's 'daring rescue' (as said in the summary for 3x05) or will it be in 3x07 (Goldeneyes, where we are getting the Battle of the Two Rivers)?

Because we have some kidnapped girls (Mat's sisters) and we have Perrin, who wants to save them without hurting anyone. For Lewin, it wasn't possible to save them without death. There is no salvation without destruction. How will it go for Perrin? Will there be a cost?

And Ila, who is Aram's grandmother... how closely will her reaction to Aram be to the way that Adan and Lewin's mother react to him here?

How much is the show going to break our hearts over Aram?

I do think introducing more genetic diversity to the Aiel that we see really helps combat the weird "generational servant" vibe that Jordan brought to the da'shain Aiel in the books (which... was it intentional? Jordan never really does enough with it for me to be certain). In the show, it's not that redheads specifically were all servants, it's that of the dedicated Aiel who left at Latra's request, at least one of the main bloodlines that survived to make it to the Waste were redheads, because they went though a couple of harsh population bottlenecks to get there.

The show making it so that the male Aes Sedai of the Age of Legends dressed primarily in black just feels so !!! when it comes to Rand designing the Asha'man uniform later on. Whether he realizes it or not, he's dressing them like Aes Sedai. (I can't remember if this is also a book thing or not)

Aaah, this long moment when Aviendha stares into Rand's eyes before she looks away and gets up to leave. The tension between them. It's so perfect.

That's really all I have for additional book spoiler thoughts. Most of it I could cover without needing them.

[azaharinflames]

Can you give some examples of how OS spoke of the BuckTaylor relationship in S5? I wasn't around back then.

Hi! I received two asks about this, so I am answering both with this one ☺️

Now full disclaimer: I wasn't in the fandom to the level I am now back when Season 5 was airing. I did do a deep dive once I went into the fandom, because a deep dive hates to see me coming, and I found out some stuff from that. I am sure I am missing stuff because of that. But there is also the fact that I have seen fans that have been here since S5 (and before) that do also say it all feels very different. More under the cut, because it is a long one.

That being said. I did another deep dive just so I could pull some things for evidence, and here are some interesting things I noticed, based on interviews for Hello (several with Hello - I, II, III), EW, Decider*, TV insider, and Fox. My thoughts aren't exactly organised, and more things that I noted down while doing the deep dive (huge thanks to 911bts, they were incredible at their job and it's a shame they were run off the fandom because of them. I hope they're doing okay now)

Oliver was actually really excited about the cheating storyline, as he believed Buck and Taylor had stalled and weren't that interesting anymore (for the audience).

Overall, there were way less post morterms after an episode. And when I say way less, I do mean it. I don't know if 911bts just didn't post the blogs, but from what I found, not too many were posted.

Interestingly enough, the post mortems we did get back then were directly tied to the episode. Crazy, I know! And by this I mean that it wasn't Oliver, Tim, and sometimes Ryan doing an interview after every single episode. Rather, the interviews were with the actor that had something important happening to them during the episode, and that's it.

Again, I don't know if the account just didn't post them, but the interviews I found with Oliver were 99% from big outlets/official ones. That means that, as a result, they are very neutral, and do not dive into the Buddie of it all. The journalist would ask him about the episode and the show and about working on it. It was refreshing to read, ngl.

* Funny to note, Arielle and Oliver did a co-joint interview for Decider. Kinda interesting taking into account that Taylor was still very much in the picture, yet she was pretty much ignored during this whole interview. I cannot help but think that, had Arielle been received positively (perhaps she could’ve if they hadn’t introduced her by cheating), she could’ve been Buck’s LT LI (once they saw Taylor didn't work). Be it an on-and-off situation or something more solid, I can see how the show could have played the long game with them. It’s worth noting, too, that Tim wanted to bring back Lucy during Season 7, but Arielle was just unavailable. And then he remembered Lou, and the rest is history. But my point is - I do think there was an intention to make Lucy a more solid LI, and potentially the person Buck was going to be with LT by season 5b. It’s just funny they were given an interview.

(I wanna do a small note here to point out that it is funny when you remember Oliver and Lou also had an interview together. Only, with two main and very telling differences. 1. The Decider interview was tied to what had happened on screen - aka Lucy and Buck kissing -, whilst Lou and Oliver didn't really have a reason to do the interview. Their arc had been done episodes prior. 2. A written interview that not a lot of people were gonna read (GA, I mean), vs. a televised interview that a casual viewer can catch and go: ohhh, they're a couple! Yk? Very stark differences, no pun intended)

There was a weird way of approaching his interviews, and what is notable is that it was both, from the journalists and Oliver. And, sure, you can say: arwen, that's what they're doing now! But, the difference? Back then the interviews were done by neutral, official outlets (aka Entertainment Weekly and Hello). Ignoring Taylor and putting her relationship with Buck on the background whilst focusing on Lucy very much was intentional.

Overall, it feels as if, when the show hit 5b, it stopped caring for Taylor entirely, and starting making an effort to try and introduce a new LI for Buck (aka, Lucy). This is just my theory, and what I perceived after my deep dive. And, once it did not work out with Lucy, they got rid of her, too.

I think, in general, the not Buddie interviews we get now do not ignore Tommy, and do not pretend he doesn't exist. Even when we receive a world salad for an answer, he is not being ignored.

I think Oliver is more insightful this time as well. He is putting himself on Tommy's shoes and, in a way, making sure the audience is still feeling sympathetic towards him. Whereas before, he didn't care to talk about Taylor much, if at all.

I will also add there was some interesting SM activity (I tried to find the screenshots the whole day, because I remember seeing them more than once, but alas, I couldn't. If someone has them, please send them my way! So I can add for evidence). Oliver had either the worst timing ever, or purposefully posted insta stories just as the BuckTaylor scenes were airing, usually covering his face with an emoji that showed some disdain. I think he deleted them pretty quickly (which he usually does), but enough fans would see them. There was one time where he posted one just as Buck and Taylor had their ILY scene. So. Could have it been a coincidence? I mean, sure. I won't outright assume things here. But it was an interesting choice to post that, especially when it made so many people sure that he didn't exactly like their scenes together.

Anyway. Long answer, and I am sure I am missing lots, but I hope this was helpful!

TL;DR: Taylor was pretty much ignored during interviews during 5b in order to promote Lucy, and Oliver didn't care to dwell too much into his storylines with Taylor. Likewise, you can tell he makes an effort to make sure the audience still has sympathy for Tommy and still is a positive character, whereas he didn't do that when talking about Taylor (that I've personally seen).

My inbox is open for ranting, venting, giving your opinion (unpopular or popular, I'm happy to receive and discuss both), and even confessions! However if you don't want yours posted, please make sure to say :)

Take care <3

[nezuswritingdesk]

A/n: just remembered that I didn't get to introduce the youngest out of Sylus' kids! I'm too lazy to make a separate post so he'll be added here after his big sisters!

Inspired by : @tbaluver @starmocha @abyssyby

ninang @deusfoundry (aly) who probably wants to meet her inaanak no. 10

Same warning content as above and all!

wc: 543 words

Headcanons about the youngest son!

his name is seth (sylus picked it)

currently 10 months old and does 10 month old baby things

he's seven years younger than the twins. why the seven years? because sylus believes in quality over quantity (he wanted to treat his princesses well before adding a new baby into the picture)

Sylus had loved him since. He managed to repurpose his old girls' nursery, modified the crib to make sure it was sturdy (just in case he or you or the girls want to join him inside the crib lol). Is a constant and has been by your side since

was born at sunset (the girls had just gotten home from extra-curriculars, only to find their tiny baby brother wrapped up in a blanket with a tiny hat and their parents)

the first thing you all did as a now family of 5? dinner (aka breakast for sylus aka had a nice meal and ate)

he likes to walk around or at least try to and his sisters help him by letting him hold their hands

has a blackhole for a stomach (like his dad)

has fat baby cheeks— which sylus lovingly bites (like he does with his big sisters when they were tiny babies too)

Does try to talk for attention (a lot like Asteria)

he's been attached to his big sisters so much

Likes to sleep on sylus’ chest too

Sylus is also making his special mechanical birdie. He's been making it since you got pregnant again , and the girls, especially Nyx, had been helping him. He'll get that when he turns one year old.

Hes basically the little baby when his big sisters play house

Loves being carried on his papa's shoulders

Has baby teeth🥺🥺 (3, almost 4 to be exact)

In terms of appearance, baby seth looks exactly like you in every shape and form.

gets called ugly by asteria (as a joke)

nyx defends him

dont be fooled he is chaos incarnate like his namesake

this baby didn't spend most of his time sleeping. hes chaotic but has good intentions, well as good as a baby can get

also adored and fought by his uncles

his baby teeth is starting to growwww

and now sylus has to deal with a teething baby and girls who are in the process of losing teeth

mephisto is still the main and designated baby monitor but the twin girls asked if they can get their birdies modified too so that they can watch over their baby brother

the annual family picture just got a bit more better and cuter (note that family picture now includes you, sylus, the tiny twins (nyx and asteria) , mephi, the twins' birdies, the big twins (luke and keiran), and seth)

now with your boy as the new addition, you and sylus are satisfied. this, in a million lifetimes and circumstances, is the best thing you both have. the world can change, they can put a number on sylus' head, but so long as the children smile and rush to him with open arms, calling him daddy or papa,he knows that it is the most precious thing he has.

there is no love purer than his for the family he built with you.

a/n: finally done with the introduction of sylus' littles ! im doing this to procrastinate on xavier's kids. maybe i will get theirs out on april if i dont forget

sylus parenting au

A/N: sigh, here we go! Girl dad sylus!!! Will try to put the headcanons in chronological order. ALSO WTF DO YOU MEAN TUMBLR POSTED MY DRAFT?!

content warning: pregnancy? family stuff? babies? might cause possible baby fever (KIDS ARE EXPENSIVE. BE RESPONSIBLE.)

Inspired by : @tbaluver @starmocha and every sylus girl dad thing I've seen since (will update here still)

wc: 1.0k

I believe that we all agreed as a fandom that Sylus is a girl dad, I firmly believe that it is in his DNA to be a girl dad to the two most well-loved, spoiled, and protected girls of the N109. He is a happy father of two identical twin girls 🥰🥰 ( their temporary names are Nyx and Asteria)

Sylus had loved these girls since the start of their little lives. He was there for every appointment, every shopping trip when you wanted to buy things for the babies, he helped assemble their cribs, prepared the nursery, etc

The twin girls were born before dawn (aka the usual sleeping time of sylus. He didn't sleep because he stayed up all night to keep you company as the twins arrived). Nyx was born first, and minutes later, Asteria came along.

Absolute sylus clones. Tiny little ladies that look exactly like Sylus.

He cried when he held his daughters for the first time— how can a man like him , a man known for his strength and cruelty, the damn leader of Onychinus, with so much blood in his hands, hold such innocent little lives?

You assured him that the girls don't see him like that. He was their father and he means the world to their small little minds.

Once everything has calmed down, the first thing all four of you did was sleep until noon or the early afternoon. The twin girls called you and their father's chests home.

The twins sleep like otters, always holding hands to never separate.

They are nocturnal creatures like their father dear! When you were recovering and the twins were being fussy at ungodly hours, Sylus would take care of the girls (plus you, ofc you're just as important).

Sylus likes to have skin-to-skin contact with the babies and in turn, the babies like sleeping on his chest throughout

Most days were really spent sleeping. They're sweet little competitive babies, they like their playtime and would do things together. Nyx waits for Asteria and Asteria waits for Nyx.

Please don't separate the twins ever, they will cry. Nyx will fuss if her baby sister isn't in her line of bad baby vision and Asteria will scream if she can't see Nyx.

He can distinguish which twin is which. Nyx has his prominent nose while Asteria has bigger cheeks but to mess around with you , he likes to swap the babies.

Nyx acts like Sylus. Asteria acts like you.

The twins have a favorite uncle individually. They will fight or pout at the other twin when they're spending too much time with their favorite uncle. Asteria likes uncle Keiran and Nyx likes uncle Luke. The uncles enables the girls to let chaos reign.

Mephisto is the baby monitor. No need to expand on this.

Sylus has been making them their own little mephisto's since you both found about that you were pregnant. The birds are based on orioles and we're gifts to the twins on their first birthday. They loved the birds since.

Sylus knows how to dress his daughters! And he dresses them good! He likes giving Nyx the crow onesie (because it matched her grumpy little pouty face) and Asteria gets the smiley dino onesie (because it matches her big baby cheeks and her smile) and sometimes he'd match their clothes or complement theirs

Sylus has nibbled their cheeks multiple times , they girls would giggle and cup his face in their tiny hands

Sylus sings and reads poetry to them to help them sleep or calm down. (He has been doing this since you got pregnant)

Their first word is papa! (It happened when Sylus got home from another business trip and the twins were eager to reunite with him so they immediately walked up to him and began to call him papa.) Sylus broke down crying even more.

Nyx calls Asteria "Ria" and Asteria calls Nyx "Nixie"

They'd always drag someone in the base to play with and have tea time where they act like sylus during his business deals. (the unwilling willing participants: sylus, the twins, mephisto, their orioles, mama reader (but mama reader is willing)

There was one time that tea time was just them two, their orioles, and Mephisto , they even dressed them up.

Very much spoiled girls by you both. They can be picking out dresses or things they like and sylus will be like, "Just one, sweetheart? You can get a second or a third, it'll be fine baby." They definitely swapped and stole each other's clothes

I firmly believe that Sylus is the one that really indulges their requests. He's financially stable, has a good job, and finally has people who'd love and appreciate him. While you're the one trying to remind him not to spoil them too much or they'll end up as brats

Nyx and Asteria are little songbirds — they sing very nicely and like to duet together but they don't have the heart to tell their beloved daddy that he cant sing (lol jk asteria is like daddy you can't sing don't do it and nyx is like daddy my ears hurt from your singing 🥺)

Sylus? do you mean their jungle gym?

as the girls got older, they become more independent and sylus and you teach them necessary life skills

their evols (if they have one) complement each other and was made to protect the other

sylus taught them martial art skills and boxing when the girls were much older to protect themselves besides the use of evols and weapons

their baby brother was born when the twins were around 7 or 8. this little boy is very well loved and protected by his sisters like their lives dependent on it. he looks like you with a small sprinkle of sylus here and there

they have family pictures every year since you and sylus got married — first it was just you two, then a bump carrying the twins, then the twin girls as babies, as toddlers and little kids, you carrying your third child, and now, the three lovely children

at the end of the day, all of the children are well-loved and adored by sylus and you. they are the reason why you two kept going in life, why it was kinder and much softer and thought it wasn't perfect, everything is enough.

a/n : wtf tumblr posted this without me knowing :( I didn't even know it was posted 😭😭 anyways I hope you enjoy this! hope to get the Caleb and zayne papa aus soon! reblogs and everything is appreciated by me thank you 💖💖

[incorrect-alienromulus-quotes]

Stuck together

Pairings: Bjorn Alien Romulus x Female!reader

A/N: I've got Spike Fearn fever y'all. I wasn't going to post this but here we are. I had the idea a while back but only started writing it while I was ovulating this week. It's pretty long but I didn't feel like trying to split it into multiple parts and I did my best to proofread it. Might do a 2nd part to continue because of the way I ended this one but who knows :)

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, Accidental pregnancy, fluff, angst, enemies to lovers to parents??, mentions of sex, smut, language.

It wasn’t a secret that you and Bjorn weren’t fans of each other. You thought he was a smartass the second he opened his mouth when Tyler had introduced you to everyone. Of course that was many years ago. Overtime the two of you warmed up to each other well enough but the rest of the group had witnessed the two of you go for blood over late night drinks around the fire or during casual hang outs in the trailer.

You didn't hate him all the time, but he had this ability to get under your skin like no one else you'd known in the colony. But there was something that seemed to draw you to him especially when you’d been drinking. What started as heated arguments around the fire turned into steamy late night hookups in his trailer.

The first time you'd thought it was just a moment of drunken confusion and frustration but by the third or fourth time you'd decided it was pure sexual tension. It was clear that neither of you hated the time you were spending together so in the privacy of his trailer you made two rules: No one can find out and no feelings; just sex.

The two of you had been hooking up on and off for about five months when you came to the horrifying realization that you were pregnant after you’d stolen a test from the market.

In the days that followed you avoided everyone. You’d tried to figure out a way to get rid of it but by the time you’d found out you’d been too far along for anything to work aside from killing yourself, which did cross your mind during a particularly weak moment. You refused to go to medical, they wouldn’t do anything. They wanted the people to procreate, keep Jackson Star “thriving”. You’d fallen into a depression coming up with excuses that you couldn’t hang out with the group or work your scheduled shifts, not being able to bring yourself to face them or even leave the comfort of your trailer.

You hated yourself.

And hated Bjorn even more.

Days had passed after you'd locked yourself away from the colony. One by one familiar voices had come from the other side of the locked door pleading for you to let them in. You refused even when Tyler threatened to break it down.

That's when you came up with the excuse of being sick with a virus and not wanting to infect them. It worked but they still tried to convince you let them in to take care of you. Eventually they gave up when they realized you weren’t letting them in. But it didn’t stop Tyler from calling you everyday, given it was the only way you’d speak to him. It was easier than seeing him in person and it provided him some peace of mind.

About two weeks had passed when you found yourself with debilitating morning sickness that kept you on the bathroom floor. You hadn’t been able to keep anything down in days and received several calls regarding your rent being late and missing work.

It was nearly 2 am when an incessant banging came from the other side of the door. You were exhausted but awake, sitting next to the toilet on the floor and holding your throbbing head in your hands. You hadn’t heard the loud sound at first, too busy being locked inside your head. But after a couple minutes when it didn't go away you managed to lift yourself from the floor and make your way to the door. At this point you kinda hoped it was Tyler or Kay, someone to help you.

Instead in the doorway stood the familiar silhouette of the last person you wanted to see, illuminated by the flood lights and ships behind him.

"Tyler wasn't kiddin' ya do look like shit"

You knew you were in rough shape. You hadn't been able to stand long enough to shower after being nauseous for days and you wore the same shirt and shorts for the past week. You clutched the side of door for support while you watched him. "What do you want?"

He'd tried reaching out the same way the others had, secretly sending private messages but you never responded to him. You planned on not telling him at all, avoiding him as long as you could. You thought it would be best to come up with some lie about a different guy knocking you up.

“I thought you might be dead" He joked, taking in your disheveled appearance as you stared back at him. He had stubble on his chin and the same dark hoodie that he always wore. "You don't look good"

"Thanks, captain obvious" You mutter, using what little energy you could to push the door shut and shut him out.

He'd stuck his boot between the door and the frame at the last second, preventing it from closing, and pushed it back opened carefully, tilting his head at you, "What's goin' on with you?"

"Nothing, Bjorn–I’m really not in the mood—”

You cut yourself off, throwing your hand over your mouth and rushing to the bathroom. You'd made it in time to vomit up the small amount of water you'd drank only minutes before Bjorn had come knocking on the door.

You’re head was spinning as you heard the door close. You squeezed your eyes shut hoping that he left until you hear footsteps walking toward the bathroom.

"How long have you been like this?" His voice echoes in the room as he stands awkwardly in the doorway, watching you doubled over above the toilet.

“Couple of days” You managed to say before dry heaving over the toilet.

He cleared his throat awkwardly from where he stood. “Uh- what was the last thing you ate?"

You sat back against the bathtub beside the toilet and shook the cup of water at him slightly, hoping he understood that you had only managed water. You couldn't remember the last time you'd actually eaten.

“You need to see a doctor"

"No"

"What do you mean no—"

“—I’m not going to a doctor” You interrupted, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and staring at the floor where he stood with his muddy shoes. “I’m fine”

“Ok, well you’re not fine, look– you’re sick with somethin’ and if–"

"Stop” You snap, smoothing your hair down and shutting your eyes.

"No you stop" Bjorn argues, taking a step further into the bathroom. "Do you know how worried everyone’s been? For fucks sake, if Tyler knew you were like this then he would be livid”

“Please” Your voice is raw against your dry throat, “Just leave”

Bjorn scoffs and nods mockingly, running his hand over his face. "Alright, listen I'm not fighting with you, get your ass up"

He takes two big steps and kneels down in front of you, reaching out his hands to help you up, "Let’s go-"

"Don't touch me" You visibly flinch at his touch and push him hard in the chest with what little strength you had left. He loses his balance and falls on his ass in a heap. "I don't need anything from anyone, especially you, so just leave me the fuck alone”

His eyes are wide, flaring with anger and staring at you, surprised at your sudden outburst. "What the fuck is wrong with you? For fucks sake, I'm just tryin’ to help—"

“Trying to help, huh?" A dry laugh leaves your sore throat. Your body is overcome with a rage. You want to reach over and slap him but instead you take a breath and look toward the small trashcan in the bathroom.

Before you can stop yourself, you are reaching over and rummaging through it tossing the snot-soaked tissues out before you see it nestled in the bottom of the bin. Your fingers grasp the hard plastic and launch the stick at his chest before you can think. He manages to catch it before it falls to the ground.

“The fuck is this?" He asks, staring at it as he flips it between his slender fingers.

“I know you're not that stupid"

His face changes the moment he realizes. The look in his eyes falters and a silence falls over the room. Regret washes over you, the same regret for all the things you did with him to get you to this moment. You’d spent the last couple of days wondering what it would be like to tell him or how he would react if you'd decided to tell him. Now you felt feel like throwing up again.

"It's yours"

You don’t know why you clarified it; he knew that you hadn’t been seeing anyone. You rarely spoke to anyone outside of the group.

After several minutes pass you watch him set the test down on the floor next to him as he scoots back until he makes contact with the open door against the wall. He leans his head back and runs a hand over his face.

It was the quietest you had ever seen him.

"I wasn't going to tell you but I-well” The tremble in your voice betrays you and the sound of your own heartbeat pounds in your ears, “Listen— I don't expect anything from you"

He looks over to you then, his blue eyes are blank and the expression on his face is unreadable. You felt hot tears burning your cheeks and knew that the guard you’d been keeping up was crumbling down around you.

"C'here" He says barely above a whisper as he shifts on the floor, extending his legs and gesturing toward you. Your body moves on autopilot crawling over to him and immediately tucking your head into his shoulder. His arm comes around your body, holding you tight in place against him.

“I tried to get rid of it” You admit, body shaking as you cried harder. You didn’t bother trying to compose yourself not after you had spent countless nights crying alone in the dark. “— It’s too late, I’m stuck”

He swallowed hard and opened his mouth to speak before closing it again, like he was unsure of what to say. After a minute passed you heard his voice in your ears, "It’s okay"

It wasn’t okay. And it would never be okay. But you didn't say that, instead you moved from his shoulder, seeing the dark wet stains you’d left and lowered yourself so you could lay your head on his lap. You adjusted slightly on the cold tile, turning to face toward his stomach and curling your legs into a fetal position.

He stiffened under you. The two of you had never been close in an emotional sense. But after a minute passed, you felt his hand come down to carefully push away the hair that was sticking to your wet face.

You'd managed to calm down enough to speak again as the sound of the trailer humming took up the space between the two of you.

“It’s a death sentence, ya know” You sniffled, voice echoing in the room as you clutched the material at the bottom of his hoodie.

He didn't correct you, he knew exactly what you meant. By having a baby you would be contributing to the cycle of the colony. You were their slaves and now you would be growing their future slave. You’d never reach your quota, never leave. You would have to watch your baby be raised on a planet that had no sun, no fresh air, no hope. You’d die here.

His hand moved to rub up and down your exposed arm, an attempt at soothing you. You would never admit to him, but it was working. You felt better with him being there. You hated telling him but it felt better knowing you weren't the only one carrying this burden.

He didn't speak again as your heavy eye lids closed and you listened to his breathing, feeling the rise and fall of his stomach.

You didn't need him to say anything else, not when there wasn't anything that could be said to fix this mess.

*

A couple more weeks had passed when you started to feel like yourself again. You were eating normal and trying to work up the courage to see your friends. You'd successfully managed to avoid them as you started back on your shifts, knowing the longer you took off the more your quota would be raised.

You hadn't seen Bjorn since the night you confessed the situation to him. He had stayed with you until you had fallen asleep but when you woke up, he was gone. He had given you a pillow and blanket from the couch and left a can of soup with a spoon on the floor next to you. The first couple of days you figured he needed space but then the days continued to tick by and there was no contact from him. You knew this would happen.

Apparently it wasn't just you he was avoiding. Tyler had called a couple of days ago and asked if you'd seen or heard from him. He said he hadn’t seen him and he wasn’t responding to any messages. He hadn’t been at any of his shifts in the mines. Tyler was worried, he always was. He was the oldest of the group of friends and felt like he needed to protect everyone. He mentioned that he thought he might be shacked up with some girl or locked up in the company jail.

You were just glad that he hadn't told Tyler or the others about your situation, otherwise they would've been banging down your door.

You still weren’t ready to face them so your new lie was that you were working double shifts and overtime to make up for the time you had been sick and unable to work, which wasn't necessarily a lie. Tyler understood but he didn’t like it, worried you would work yourself to death. Every time you spoke on the phone with him you felt the overwhelming need to tell him but you just weren’t ready. You knew he’d be disappointed.

You carried on with life the next couple of days with your mundane schedule. It was another late night. You’d just gotten off a shift in the mines and showered when a banging sounded. You'd thought it was the thunder from the storm outside by the sound of the rain that was pounding on the metal roof but after a minute the banging came again.

You walked to the door, moving your towel dried hair off your shoulder, “Who is it?”

“Open up” The familiar accent replied and you rested your forehead against the door, debating if you should or not.

You hesitantly turned the lock seeing Bjorn standing on the other side soaking wet with the rain splashing in the puddles around him.

"What are you doing here?" You say opening the door more, standing just inside the doorframe to avoid getting wet.

His mouth opens but snaps close as he stares. He looks around, with an expression you can’t place.

"Bjorn, go home" You dismiss rolling your eyes. Your hand was already on the door, moving to close it. You'd accepted the fact that this was happening with or without him; and at this point you'd rather it be without “You're drunk”

"I ain't drunk" His voice comes out in a sudden shout and he takes a couple big steps to stand on the metal steps of your trailer. Water was dripping from his hair and running down his face.

"Then what," Your voice raises, and you don't realize that you stepped out from the door frame until you feel the water dripping on the skin of your arms. "What the fuck do you want?"

He runs a hand over his face, an attempt to gather his thoughts or to rid it of water droplets, you weren't sure. After a couple seconds he sighs, "I just wanna talk"

"Oh you wanna talk huh?" You laugh even though there was nothing even remotely funny about this situation. In a flash, you are stepping closer to him and shoving at his chest. "What could you possibly want to talk about?"

He stumbles back on the steps but comes right back, even when you shove him again.

"Are we doing this?" He asks suddenly, capturing your hands before you can shove him a third time. It catches you off guard. There's a sound of thundering in the distance and it makes your head turn, bringing you back to the moment. He's standing closer to you now, close enough that you can smell the scent of the rain mixed with his sweat. His blue eyes are scanning over your face.

"What are you talking about?" You were growing more annoyed by the second.

"Are we doing this?" He repeats, fingers still clasped around your wrists. Then he blinks realizing he wasn't making much sense, "For the baby"

You ripped your hands away from him and spun on your feet. Your bare feet stomped up the two metal steps and back through the door, slamming it behind you without bothering to turn around. He was hot on your heels, managing to stop the door before it shut and now dripping water on the floor of the trailer. 

"It's a simple question" He pleads, slamming the door shut behind him as you hear it connect with a bang you turn to face him.

"A simple question" You mock throwing your hands up in the air. "I don't want anything from you"

A silence falls over the trailer and you are fighting with everything in you to hold back the tears that were brimming. You could never fight without crying, didn't matter who it was. You were far too passionate of a person to control emotions in an argument, especially with Bjorn.

"You don't mean that" Bjorn responds quickly. He opens his mouth again but before he can speak you cut him off, crossing the room to stand right in front of him. 

"I do, I really do” You sigh, “I’m done with your shit”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“I told you and you left. You disappeared for two weeks and then wanna show up and talk about it” You growl, jabbing your finger into his chest with each word. “So how about you do what you do best and fuck off because I don’t need you"

"No" He raises his voice again, the same way he did outside. He easily towers over you but that doesn't scare you. You were one of the few people in his life that could go toe to toe with him, aside from Tyler.

"I don't know what you want from me!" You shout, feeling tears sting your eyes and slide down your already rain-soaked cheeks. "I should have never of told you”

"No—I had a right to know! You should have told me as soon as you found out—"

"I’m glad I didn’t, because I knew you would do this. I knew you would act this way! You went and fucked off and got drunk or whatever you fuckin’ do. It's been weeks Bjorn!" You shouted at him, shoving his chest again. "This was a mistake”

You took a breath and before he could respond you added, “There isn't a single part of you that's ready for this" 

"You don't get to decide that" He yells back, turning and walking several feet away from you in the living room. He takes a hard breath and turns back to you, voice slightly calmer, "Look I guess I fucked up but I needed to think—“

"You always fuck everything up" You accuse, laughing with a venom you didn’t know you possessed.

He digests what you say, turning his head to look at anything in the room but you, his jaw twitching.

"Leave" You choke out, walking away from him and heading down the small hall that led to your bedroom.

"Me? I fuck everything up?" There’s a couple beats of silence before he calls after you with a cynical chuckle. "Do you actually believe the shit that comes outta your mouth?"

You're almost to your room when you spin back around to look at him. He's followed you and stands just a couple feet away in the narrow space of the hall. 

"Yes!" You scream throwing your hands up again. "We should have never of been fuckin' around in the first place and we wouldn't be in this mess" 

"No shit. You aren't innocent in this either ya know, you wanna act all hard, but guess what" Bjorn growls as he points an accusatory finger at you, "I see right fuckin' through you, you're just as scared”

"I am scared" You admit, screaming as you push at him again. He only stands there and takes it, absorbing your hits like they are nothing. "I'm scared and I’m so fuckin' angry"

"So am I" He screams back.

You could've heard a pin drop at the sudden silence that came. He lets out a defeated breath and stands with his back against the wall. After a minute he slides down it and sits on the floor.

His words sit in your chest. A part of you wanted to lash out at him, to shove all the pain back at him with full force, but there was something under the surface, the jarring look in his eyes, the way he seemed like he wanted to crawl into himself.

It tugged at your heart in a way you never thought it could. The sudden realization that he felt the same as you did.

Your gaze softens as you watch him. Your cheeks are still hot but you start to feel the anger leave your body. After a minute, you follow suit backing up against the wall opposite of him and sliding down to the floor.

The hall was skinny, and his long legs were outstretched in front of him, his shoes touching the wall beside you. Your legs weren’t nearly as long, your bare feet stopping by his thigh.

"I don't want to fight with you" You admit quietly, staring at the blank wall beside his head.

He lifts his head to look at you, “I don’t wanna fight with you either”

He nudges his leg against yours softly, in an effort to clear the tension in the air, "The damage is already done"

"Yeah" You let out a quiet laugh, this time there is no malice behind it, "A lot of damage a couple months can do, huh?"

The corners of his mouth twitch at the comment. He takes a breath, flexing his hands on his rain soaked jeans. “We have to figure something out"

You nod, taking your lip between your teeth and chewing at it nervously. You could feel the damp material of his jeans pressing into the side of your leg.

"So, we’re doing this?" He asks the same question as before, except now you feel more hopeful.

You nod again, watching in confusion as he holds his hand out across to you. "What is this a business deal?"

He chuckles, rolling his head on the wall behind him before looking back at you with a goofy smile. "More like a truce"

You ponder for a minute, looking at the tattooed hand in front of you before you lean forward and slide your hand into it. He squeezes your hand reassuringly before moving it in a firm shake.

Not long after that night, he'd offered for you to move in with him. He knew you were behind on your rent and soon they would evict you. You refused even when he makes the argument that he has extra room after his mom had died. But when a synthetic comes to your door and explains that you had two options; Take out a loan in the form of additional quota or move out, you decided to take him up on the offer.

Bjorn sleeps on the couch, giving you what used to be his mom’s room. His mother had died two cycles ago and he had moved into her room once he came to terms with her not coming back. You felt guilty but he assured you that he had always preferred the couch. You assured him that this was just a temporary setup until you managed to get back on your feet.

The first couple weeks living with him were awkward, especially sleeping in the bed where you had conceived the baby during one of your many drunken hookups. Even when the two of you were hooking up you'd never actually slept over at his place, usually doing the deed and then leaving afterward.

He helped you move the last of your things into his trailer and you turned your keys in to the company. It was hard, the last piece of your old life and memories that you shared with your family now gone.

You continue to work in the mines even when Bjorn makes it clear that he doesn't like it. He'd rather you not work down there in your condition, but you didn't care. You refused to put the burden of yourself and the baby on him completely. You made it clear that you would work until you weren’t physically able to anymore.

After a month passes you go back to normal hanging out with the others as if nothing had changed. You knew you couldn't avoid them forever so the two of you decide to keep this secret for as long as possible. You hated lying to them, but you weren't ready to share the news. You both knew it would come with questions that you weren't ready to answer.

Of course, they found it strange that the two of you were living together after previously not being able to be in the same room without arguing, but they never said much about it after they heard you'd been evicted from your trailer. It was logical considering Bjorn had the extra room. They hadn’t noticed when you opted for soda rather than beer or when the bickering between you and Bjorn seemed to stop completely.

You felt more comfortable living together as time went on, falling into a routine. You both worked your required hours in the mines, and you noticed that Bjorn had picked up extra shifts a couple of times during the week, even though you'd asked him not to. The last thing you wanted was for him to work himself to death. Of course, he didn't listen.

With the extra hours wearing on him, he'd been going and drinking to wind down after work. You didn't blame him, you'd done the same thing, back when you could. It was one of the things that took the edge off of this life.

Most nights he would stumble in drunk and rummage through the kitchen for food and then he would pass out on his couch. He never bothered you. But he also never asked about the baby. It didn't bother you much. That is until one night when you were about 3 months pregnant.

You had been particularly irritable as you lie awake in the bed waiting to hear the door open and close. It was late and the fourth night this week that he’d been out.

When he finally came through the door your data watch read 2AM. You heard his footsteps toward the kitchen and decided to get out of bed and follow the noise.

He had the lights on, and the cabinets open with his back to you. His back muscles flexed under his thin shirt as he reached inside, pushing the food aside looking for something to eat.

"Have a good night?"

He jumps at the sound of your voice, spinning around to see you standing in the low light.

"Fuck, you scared me" He laughed turning back to the cabinet and shutting it louder than intended. He paused, realizing how loud he was being, "Shit, did I wake you up?"

"Couldn't sleep" You sighed, moving to lean against the counter near him and cross your arms over your chest. "I was wondering where you were. Thought you went AWOL again"

You didn't really. But the memory of him disappearing after telling him about the baby always lingered in your head. You always wondered how close he was to vanishing again.

His blue eyes watched you from where he stood. He shrugged, ignoring your comment, "You should get some sleep"

He moved to walk past you but you catch his arm with your cold hand. He stops in his tracks, looking at it on his skin and then meeting your eyes. The hum of the small fridge filled the room and the faulty light flickered slightly from above, the way it always did.

“I know it’s not none of my business, but–“ You sigh nervously, not wanting to come across as if you cared, "Is this how it's always going to be?"

"What?" He asks with a sigh. He was tired, you could see it on his face.

"I dunno, not knowing where you are or what's going on in your head" You say quietly, adding, “You keeping me at arm's length"

"I've had a long day—"

"Yeah, I know. But I didn't ask you to pick up the extra shifts. I didn't ask you to move in here" You still held his arm, "If I could go out and drink this away, trust me I would"

Bjorn's jaw clenches, and you can see the internal struggle playing out on his face. "Y/n, I’m trying my best here, I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing" He finally says, his voice quiet.

"I know you are" You drop your hand from his arm, bringing it back to your lap and looking down at it. "I don’t know what to do either. All I know is this is never going to work if we can’t communicate. You're the only person I have right now, the only one who knows what's going on and I still feel alone"

He glances at your stomach, then at your lips, “I’m sorry”

“I’m not trying to take over your life, I just want to fit into it better, something that feels normal, I guess” You ramble, feeling embarrassed for confronting him, sounding like a lonely wife.

"I'm sorry" He says again as he draws closer to you, arms coming on either side of the counter behind you, caging you in. He's close enough now that you can smell the alcohol on his breath. You look up at him as he leans in agonizingly slow, making your breath hitch in your throat, before whispering, "We should go back to what we know"

His lips barely press against yours before you are moving your hands to his neck and pulling him into you. The familiar feel of his lips makes your knees weak. He doesn't push you, letting you take the lead, giving you the chance to stop it. But you don’t stop it.

His hands fall to your hips, squeezing them slightly before he lifts you onto the counter with ease. The cold surface against the warmth of your thighs made you gasp. He took the opportunity to slide his tongue over your lip before gaining access. He tasted of liquor as he explored your mouth. You instinctively spread your legs as he moved to stand between them, the rough fabric of his jeans dragging against your inner thighs and making you moan against his mouth. You felt him smirk against you.

This was the one thing you two had always been good at. The only time you truly had chemistry and listened to each other. It'd been so long since you had last had him like this, after finding out about the accident you both vowed it was all a mistake that would not happen again. But here you were.

But it felt natural and intoxicating and you loved it. The way his lips molded perfectly against yours and his fingers knew just what to do. But he was drunk. And this is how you'd gotten into this mess in the first place. If you wanted this to work then the best thing to do would be to keep sexual feelings out of it.

As much as you didn't want to you turned your head, breaking the seal of his lips against yours and putting a firm hand against his chest. He hadn’t noticed, moving to your neck as he pushed the hair out of the way, kissing along the skin there. You're eyes rolled back, loving the way he felt on your skin.

"If we want this co-parenting thing to work then we can't do this" You choked out, moving your hands to his waist, pushing him away slightly.

"We always get along better after we do this" He mumbled against your neck, sending chills down your body. He was nibbling softly at the skin there, sliding his tongue over it afterwards.

"We can't risk this messing things up between us" You said, hands still on his waist urging you to pull him back against you. "If we truly want what's best for this baby then we can't"

You knew at the end of the day the attraction you felt for each other was just hormones. You knew he didn’t love you, it was part of the reason you two had hid your hookups in the first place. Neither of you wanted anything serious with each other, it would never work. You had a hard time imagining him as a father, much less a steady boyfriend.

He dropped his forehead to your shoulder and sighed. His breath fanned over your now wet skin, leaving goosebumps.

Finally he takes a deep breath and stands up straight, his lips red and slightly swollen, eyes searching yours. With your place on the counter you were easily his same height, able to look directly at him.

“We’ve never been friends” You say, reaching out to fix a piece of hair that was sticking to his forehead, “I think it’s time we try”

*

At 3 months pregnant you started experiencing cravings for foods that you normally would have avoided in the market which was located in the main part of the colony. You were walking with Kay finding items for dinners for the coming week. Normally you’d stick to regular vegetables that farming had collected and the rations of canned meat or noodles that the company would provide but you found your mouth watering when the two of you walked pass an older woman selling jars of pickles.

Once you’d tasted one of her samples you were hooked. Kay only laughed at you as you opened the jar and ate some more as you walked back to the trailers. By the end of the day the jar was empty. Later that day while Bjorn was playing a video game you told him about the pickles and how good they were. You often yapped his ear off about random things while cooking dinner, you never thought he really listened until the next day after his shift he walked through the door holding four jars of the pickles.

It was in this same month that you invited Bjorn to sleep in the bedroom with you. You’d felt bad watching the way he moved after waking up, knowing it was hard on his body after working so many shifts in the mines.

He had refused at first, assuring you he was fine on the couch until one night you woke up from a nightmare in the dark room. You couldn't remember what the dream was but you remembered how it made you feel. Scared and alone.

So you crawled out of the bed and walked down the hall and straight to the couch where Bjorn was laying on his side with the thin blanket over his chest.

You knelt next to him, shaking his shoulder carefully. When he showed no signs of waking up you shook him harder.

He jumped up, gasping for air at the sudden force that pulled him out of sleep.

"What is it?" He breathed, looking around and moving to sit up on the couch, "Are you okay?"

"No, well yes, I'm okay" You said quietly, picking at the fabric of the couch, "It's stupid, I'm sorry for waking you up"

You stood to walk away but felt Bjorn's hand catch your wrist and give it a light tug. "What's wrong?"

You pushed your hair out of your face and sighed, "Can you please sleep in the bed, just for tonight?"

He nodded sleepily, letting go of your wrist and running his hand of over his face before standing and grabbing his pillow. "Let's go"

He followed you to the room and watched as you crawled in, moving your pillow and making room for him. He yawned, "What side do you want?"

"I sleep better against the wall" You whispered, moving to the side by the wall and laying down. You watched him walk to the side of the bed, tossing his pillow down before climbing on to the mattress. The bed shifted under his weight and you adjusted slightly, giving him some of the blanket.

"You good?" He asked once he got comfortable facing towards the roof of the trailer.

"Yeah" You whispered, already feeling more relaxed.

You were glad to find that he was still in the bed when you woke up to his data watch beeping. He groaned, slapping his wrist to stop the sound.

He rubbed at his eyes before looking over to you, finding you awake and staring at him with the blanket tucked under your chin.

"You're feet are freezing" He mumbled, his voice and accent was thicker than usual, something you'd never heard.

You were confused until you felt movement under the blanket and realized just how close you were to him. You'd managed to wiggle your feet right next to his legs.

"Shit, sorry" You rushed, moving your feet away from him under the blanket.

"Man, I'm glad I never let you stay over after we, well - you know" He joked, stretching his arms out in front of him. "Cold feet on my legs first thing in the morning is not pleasant"

You laughed at him, pushing the messy hair out of your eyes. "And I would've gotten woken up by that damn watch"

He made a sound, eyes closing again. You sat in a comfortable silence, slowly waking up more and more.

"So what happened last night?" He asked, opening his eyes again and looking over at you.

"Nothing" You replied, turning toward him in the bed and rubbing your eyes.

"Bullshit" He countered.

It was your turn to yawn, as you sit up in the bed and leaned against the wall to look at him, "I haven't been sleeping too much, been having some nightmares and I thought it would help"

"Did it?" He asked looking over at you from his pillow.

You nodded awkwardly at him, nibbling on your bottom lip.

“What are the nightmares about?” His gravely voice and accent making you wish you’d woken up next to him back when you were hooking up.

“The baby” You said, placing a hand on your stomach under the blanket.

He nodded, getting out of bed and stretching again once he was fully upright. “Well if it makes you more comfortable I'll sleep in here whenever you want"

“It’s not weird?” You ask, feeling like you might have overstepped.

“After all the things we’ve done, nothings weird” He laughs, giving you a funny look, “Besides the couch was killing my back"

"I fucking knew it!”

*

At 4 months pregnant you stopped working in the mines, finally taking Bjorn's offer after your body started to ache after long days. You stayed in the trailer most days, Kay, Rain and Navarro often stopping by to drop off things they’d managed to find for the baby and checking on you while Bjorn worked. He made sure you had everything you needed. You would eat meals together when he wasn’t working, and you’d actually started to enjoy watching him play his video games on the couch.

The belly starts to become more noticeable. You were fairly thin due to the malnourishment from the colony, so it took some time for the bump to take form. It was just big enough that when you wore a tight fitting old t shirt it would ride halfway up.

Bjorn had been sat on the counter of the kitchen one day, eating pasta you’d made when you felt him staring at you. You’d been standing in front of the sink rinsing the soapy dishes.

“What’re you staring at?” You hummed.

"Nothin'" He says, through a mouthful of food.

Most days you stayed in comfy clothes. Since you weren't able to work you hung around his trailer, watching old movies traded from other colony's of actors long since dead or trying Bjorns video games. You weren’t very good but it was still something to entertain you. You never really saw the point in getting fully dressed, opting for your pajamas which consisted of a small, worn out Weyland-Yutani shirt and sleep shorts.

You tried to return back to the dishes but felt his burning gaze on you again. You put the rag down on the counter and turned toward him, "Seriously what are you staring at?"

“Your belly” He admitted, motioning to your shirt that had, for the hundredth time, rode up above your belly button. “It’s cute”

“It’s not cute” You groaned, pulling the shirt down over the protruding bump.

His eyes flicked from your eyes back to the belly, “I think it is”

“No, it’s not” You huffed, blowing a piece if hair that had fallen from your braid out of your face, “I knew a girl who got pregnant and by the time 9 months rolled around her belly was the size of a whale”

By this time he had finished his food and sat the small bowl beside him in the counter, tapping his fingers absentmindedly as you spoke. He rolled his eyes at you playfully, “Fuck off, you're lying"

"I swear," You proclaimed, turning to the side and holding your hands out far and curving them as if a form of measurement, "Like this big"

His eyes widened in amusement as he watched you exaggerate a huge stomach that even he knew was impossible. As you did your shirt slid back up over your belly and you tugged it down again. "I’ll be running out of clothes that fit soon”

His laugh rang through the small trailer and you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling too much. It wasn't often that the two of you joked around. He was always tired from work and you were always grumpy from growing a human. There was a peace that settled inside of you as the sound hit your ears and you watched his shoulders bounce.

"I think it will still be cute" Bjorn said after his laughing settled. "No matter how big it gets"

"Oh, fuck off," You whined, grabbing the rag from the counter and turning back to finish the dishes. "You're just saying that to be nice"

"Maybe" He teased, sliding off the counter and gathering his dirty dishes from beside him. He moved to stand beside you, rinsing them and taking the rag from you to clean them himself. When he finished, he leaned close to you, so close that you could feel his lips ghost over your ear, "Or maybe I mean it"

The sensation made you shiver, especially considering the two of you had been keeping your distance ever since you'd agreed to be friends. You laughed lightheartedly and pushed him away, "Knock that off"

"I ain't doing anything" He held his hands up in surrender, but his smirk said otherwise. He moved toward the couch and switched on his game, "Anyways, you're welcome to wear my shirts if you want"

"Oh, no that's okay-"

"I don't mind" He insisted, "It might be more comfortable"

"Thanks" You smiled, even though he was no longer facing you, trying your best to ignore blush creeping onto your cheeks.

You moved to sit at the small table beside the kitchen and prop your feet up, watching as Bjorn played his game and flipping through an old book that had been his mothers.

You felt a strange sensation in your abdomen. It startled you but you felt little movements before. You lifted the shirt up and placed your palm on the spot, rubbing your thumb along the skin. "Was that you little one?"

Before you could get the words out you felt a sharp kick on the other side of your belly and squealed out. When Bjorn heard you, he jumped up and nearly fell over the back of the couch to get to you.

“What is it?" He asked frantically in front of you as you held the spot on your stomach where you felt the kick.

You felt another kick closer to your belly button and you jumped again. Instead of answering him you took his hand and rested his palm against your stomach, moving it slowly like a radar.

“What is going on—"

“Shut up” You shushed him, focusing hard so he could feel the kicks. You felt the baby move and then another kick right at Bjorns hand. His eyes grew wide. "You feel that?"

“What the fuck?” He was whispering despite being so close in the quiet trailer, “Have they done that yet?”

You shook your head, feeling another kick under his hand, which you held firmly in place.

“Not like this" You found yourself whispering back, "Maybe they like your voice”

His eyes grew, a glint shining in them that you'd never seen in him, similar to a kid who received a present, “You think?”

“There they go again” You laugh softly at him again, this time giving his hand on your stomach a squeeze, “They must wanna kick your ass like I do"

"For fucks sake, I can't believe there's someone in there" He whispered looking up at you. You were glad he was there to experience the moment with you.

You smiled at him, realizing that you were still holding his hand and letting go of it.

Later that night as you both lay in bed you can't seem to shut off your brain long enough to fall asleep.

“We have to get out of here" You whisper, facing the wall with your back to him, knowing he wasn't yet asleep by the way he was breathing.

There was a beat of silence before you heard him sigh, “Okay"

"I'm serious" You swallowed the lump forming in your throat, turning to face him in the bed. "I won't let my baby grow up here."

You felt the bed shift again, feeling him come closer to you. His arm moved under the blanket, inching over and lifting you shirt so he could rub your belly. He moved his thumb along the skin. “Don’t stress it’s not good for the baby”

"This place isn't good for the baby" You choked out. He heard your voice start to shake and breathing erratic. He moved his hand from your belly to the side of your head, pushing the hair back behind your ear and letting his thumb caress of your cheek.

“I know” He said quietly, “I’m going to figure something out. The two of you are my responsibility now, I’ll keep you both safe”

“I need you to promise that we will get out of here, all of us"

His hand moved from you cheek, pulling you into his chest. You nuzzled up against him, breathing in his scent and listening to his heartbeat. "I promise"

*

Around 5 months pregnant Tyler had clocked your dirty little secret. The group was all gathered around the small fire pit drinking, the way they often did after a long hard week of working. He’d had suspicions that maybe something had happened between you and Bjorn but never asked until Navarro waved some of her homemade moonshine in your face and Bjorn nearly knocked it out of her hand.

It was a weird moment and everyone stared at Bjorn. Navarro laughed it off being slightly drunk. You knew she was just messing around and she wouldn’t actually make you drink the moonshine but it was a knee jerk reaction from Bjorn. The outburst confirmed Tyler’s suspicions.

“You’re pregnant” He accused from across the fire with his arm draped over Rains shoulder as he took a sip of his beer.

The conversation stopped altogether and everyone looked between you and Tyler. You froze, feeling all the color leave your face. You felt like a deer in headlights. You looked around nervously at the others but didn’t deny his accusation. You didn’t want to lie to them anymore.

“And I take it you’re the dad?” Tyler asked changing his tone slightly as he looked up at Bjorn who stood near you.

You had to laugh at the silence from the otherwise loud group. The fire crackled as Bjorn stepped forward and threw a piece of wood into it. “Is it that obvious?”

“Well you haven’t drank a drop of alcohol in months” He spoke confidently as he stood from his spot and walked around the pit, “and you’ve never been a fan of Bjorn until recently”

“Fuck off” Bjorn laughed nervously as Tyler approached him. You could tell by his face that he wasn’t sure what Tyler was going to do. He flinched when Tyler slapped him on the back, anticipating a punch but instead he was pulling him into a half hug.

“Wait seriously, you’re gonna have a baby?” Kay asked, eyes wide. She was bouncing in her seat and when you nodded, she had nearly tackled you in a hug. You giggled as she squeezed you, breathing into her mess of curls. Behind her you watched Tyler hit Bjorn playfully in the side before letting him go.

You could tell Tyler was disappointed but there was a genuine smile on his lips that put you at ease.

“She needs to breathe” Bjorn joked seeing how tightly Kay was squeezing against your stomach.

“Ah I’m sorry!" Kay jumped back, letting you go. She moved her hands to your stomach carefully and smiled at you, "How far along are you?"

"Five months"

Kay squealed, moving to stand next to Rain, Navarro and Andy who came closer to the group.

"I knew you weren't sick" Tyler chuckled, moving to pull you into a bear hug.

You sniffled against his shoulder, “I’m sorry, I didn't wanna lie to you but I wasn't ready to tell you guys"

“Oh y/n, don’t be silly” You heard his laugh rumble in his chest and his voice against your ear, “If you need anything you know we’ve got you”

"I know" You said into his shoulder, squeezing your arms around him. "What do you think?"

You relaxed into the hug, feeling his hand rub your back soothingly. You and Tyler had always been close. Your older brother, Sam and him had been friends since you were a kid. You were only three years younger than the two of them and they let you follow them around like a lost puppy. You'd met Kay when Sam would bring you along to Tyler's trailer. After your brother died, he'd continued to watch out for you, eventually introducing you to the rest of the group.

He knew you were asking about Bjorn. How he was responsible for this. How he felt knowing the two of you had been sneaking around behind all of their backs.

"Well," He sighed, pulling back from the hug and putting his hands on your shoulders to get a good look at you, "I haven't decided if I'm going to throttle him or not"

"I vote not" Bjorn said from behind him, taking a sip of his beer.

Tyler rolled his eyes, turning around and grabbing his cousin by the back of his neck playfully, pushing him toward the cooler on the other side of the fire.

Your nerves settled for what felt like the first time in months. With each hug you felt more relaxed, like a weight was lifted from your shoulders. No more lies.

After the excitement and initial shock worn off you found yourself back around the fire, the girls sitting around you.

“I’d never think you two would be—uh involved” Rain joked once the from beside you, taking a sip of her beer. “Are you guys like—“

“Just friends” You interrupted quickly, pulling at the sleeves of your coat so they covered your hands. You felt like you were being short with them so you added, "It was just a one time thing"

That was a lie, but it hurt no one. You really didn't want to explain how you'd managed to keep your hook ups a secret for months before becoming pregnant with his child.

“How do you feel?” Navarro asked from where she was squatted on a small bucket, closer to the fire. She'd sobered up after hearing the news.

“Uh scared shitless” You admitted with a lighthearted laugh. The girls laughed in response but then you added, "By the time I found out it was too late to get rid of it so it took a lot to come to terms with it, still kinda hate myself"

The laughing died down and you felt Kay lean her head on your shoulder and Rain rub your back the same way Tyler had. You immediately regretted bringing down the mood. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that"

"No," Navarro spoke up as she leaned forward to put her hand on your knee. "You have every right to feel that way"

You smiled at them. At your people. You felt a pang in your heart like you could feel the love radiating from them.

Andy must've picked up on the change in demeanor because he sat up straighter and looked at you from beside Rain. "How did the picture frame end up in jail?"

You smiled, leaning so you could look at him. He blinked at you waiting for you to respond, "I dunno, how?"

"It was framed!" Andy smiled, stuttering slightly and fidgeting with his hands in his lap.

"That was a good one Andy" You giggled. "You'll have to learn some jokes about pregnancy or babies or something"

"I will!" He smiled.

"Please don't encourage him" Rain laughed, nudging her brother.

The girls occupied themselves with ideas about clothes that Kay could make and things the baby would need but you found yourself zoning out and staring across the fire at Bjorn. You couldn’t hear what he was saying but you could see the smile on his lips as he spoke to Tyler. You wondered if he felt as relieved as you did.

Later that night as the two of you walked back to his trailer you sighed contentedly. His arm brushed against you as you walked. "Well at least the cats outta the bag"

He blew the smoke from his cigarette away from you, "Yeah, I really thought Tyler was gonna come after me"

You had to laugh, "It wouldn't have surprised me"

A group of miners passed the two of you, headed back from the looks of the soot and dirt on their face. Some of them coughed and limped by. You felt sick. A harsh reminder of what you would be bringing this baby into.

The rest of the walk was quiet. When you made it inside and kicked your shoes off you sat on the couch. You couldn't kick the feeling of disgust and anger inside. The thought that lingered in the back of your mind since you saw the positive test result.

"Do you wanna get a shower first?" Bjorn asked from behind the couch, looking in the kitchen for something to eat most likely.

When you didn't respond he came around from the back of the couch and looked over your face. "Hey what's with you?"

When you opened your mouth to speak, you started to cry.

"I thought you were glad they know?" He asked, sitting on the small table in from of the couch.

"I am" You sniffled, wiping the tears from your cheeks hurriedly.

"Okay" He said slowly, trying to piece together the issue. After a minute he stood disappeared into the kitchen. When he returned he had a jar of pickles in his hand. He opened it easily, holding it out to you. "Will this help?"

You took the jar from him, fishing out a pickle and taking a bite of it. You sniffled again, managing a smile and nodding curtly. After a couple bites you had stopped crying.

"You good?" He asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, looking at you. “Because I don’t have any other pregnancy craving snacks here”

"Yeah" You sigh, handing the jar back to him and sucking the juice off your fingers, "It's just that—well telling everyone, it makes it real"

"I know" Bjorn nods, glancing down at his hands for a moment before flicking his blue eyes back to you. "I'll miss it being our little secret"

You nodded, agreeing with him but surprised at his confession.

*

At six months pregnant you were getting ready for bed, feeling extraordinary, lonely. Your belly started growing bigger and despite trying to remain positive about the situation you found yourself becoming depressed knowing in only a few short months that baby would be born, no longer protected by your body.

You had just shut the light off when you heard Bjorn come through the door, setting his key on the table and sitting down at the table. You walked down the hall and leaned against the wall, watching as he unlaced his boots and tossed them toward the door.

He had soot all over his face and arms, looking exhausted. When he saw you staring at him he gave you a puzzled look, "You good?"

"Uh huh" You rested a hand on your stomach, clearing your suddenly dry throat at the sight of him pulling his work shirt over his head. The tattoos that he had accumulated over the years were sprinkled over his pale skin. "Do you—uh want something to eat?"

He stood from the chair, with his shirt in hand as he peeled the bandana from his forehead over his hair. The motion pushed his hair back in a way that reminded you how dry your throat was. You passed him quickly headed for a water in an attempt to stop staring.

“No thanks” He yawned, stretching his arms over his head as you turned around to his back muscles flex, you nearly choked. "I think I'm just gonna get a shower and go to sleep"

You nodded, not trusting your voice. He stepped beside you filling a cup with water and taking a drink as well. When he leaned next to you your body went stiff.

He brought the cup to his lips, staring at you over the rim, before wiping his lips, "You sure you're okay?"

"Yep" You said quickly, setting your cup down and walking back to the room. "Uh, have a good shower"

You sat on the edge of the bed, feeling like a feral animal as you heard the shower turn on through the paper thin walls. You grabbed a pillow and groaned into it. After all these months with him you’d finally created a friendship, one that you were confident would benefit the baby. Why were you suddenly wanting to throw caution to the wind. You forced yourself to lay down, forcing any stray thoughts out of your brain. Not long after you heard him as he shuffled around in the dark before the mattress shifted and he slide under the covers next to you.

He didn’t say anything as he settled into a comfortable position, careful not to bother you. After a minute he felt you move in the bed and knew you were still awake.

"Did something happen today?" He asked, staring up at the ceiling, "You aren't acting like yourself"

"Nothing happened" You reply honestly.

He moved in the bed again, this time so he was facing you, propped up on his elbows. “Then what's with you?"

“Nothing” You said quicker than you should’ve.

“You know I’ve learned quite a bit about you these last couple months” His features were dimly lit of the lights that stayed on outside of the trailer blinds, producing an orange glow no matter the time of day. “One of those being that you’re a shit lair”

You shook your head at him, “I’ve always been shit at lying, you should’ve known that well before this mess”

He glanced over as the orange light flickers from the window, a truck passing down the road.

“What else have you learned about me?” You asked quietly, carefully moving to your side. As the belly grows it gets harder and harder to lay comfortably but you wanted to look at him.

He adjusted on the pillow, tucking it under his chest, “I learned that you suck at video games”

“You got me there” You smiled, nodding once. “What else?”

“You talk in your sleep”

You gasped at him, “I do not”

“I promise you do” He smirked.

“What do I say?” You urged, smacking at his arm.

“I’m not at liberty to say” He glanced at your lips for a second before looking back at your eyes, “But let’s just say I’ve heard my name come up once or twice and —”

“Oh for fucks sake” You whined smacking him again, before hiding your face behind your hand, “Please shut up”

“Don’t be embarrassed” He mused, reaching over and pulling your hand out of your face so he could look at you, “I like it”

Your heart nearly skipped a beat. He moved his hand from yours and pulling it back to where he was propped up and staring at you.

“And you scrunch your nose when you’re focusing” The sound another truck passed by accompanied by the flickering light as it passed. The orange glow flickered over his features again. He reached out and poked your nose softly. “You’re doing it now”

You knew he was onto you, that there was something you weren’t telling him. Something you’d been keeping locked way down for the sake of keeping normalcy with him. But it was bubbling up and you weren’t sure you could stop it.

“I wanna do something, but I’m worried it’ll mess things up” You say quietly, your eyes jump all over his face, trying to read his expression in the lowlight.

“You think too much” Bjorn leaned forward slowly, closing the small distance between you. Your mind raced as he moved slow enough like he was giving you a chance to stop it. But you didn’t want it to stop. “Just do it”

He lingered there, just barely touching your lips, like he was waiting for you to stop him. And when you didn’t, he closed the distance.

His lips were soft and gently, something you’d yet to experience with him. All the drunken kisses you’d experienced with him were messy and hard. But now he held back, allowing you to dictate how far this would go. But just like in the kitchen before you were grabbing his neck and pulling him closer to you, the delicate kiss turning into a feverish one.

He pulled back to speak but you were tugging him back into the kiss, slipping your tongue over his bottom lip. He’d turned his head to the side allowing better access to the both of you as your tongue tangled with each other.

His hand came to your cheek, caressing it and using it to hold you in place against him. You sighed against his lips, earning a chuckle to rattle in his throat. He moved on the bed closer to you. His hand left your cheek, traveling down toward your breast where he gave it a small squeeze but when you hissed out he pulled back immediately.

“S’okay, they’re just sore” You said distracted and trying to pull him back for a kiss.

“Are you sure?” He asked, holding back to fully look at you.

“Mhm” You hummed, as he propped himself on an elbow, allowing you to pull him back into the kiss.

Your mind was racing. The two of you had done well with keeping things platonic but you needed him in this moment. He left your lips, kissing down your jaw and leaving marks on your exposed neck.

“I want you” You said breathlessly, feeling the natural pull he had about him.

“I thought you wanted to be friends” He teased, trailing his tongue over the sensitive spot he had caused.

“I know what I said” You whined as he nibbled at your collar bone.

He pulled back, looking at you through his long, pretty lashes, “We can’t”

You sighed throwing your head back into the pillows. “You’re right—I’m sorry, I knew this was a bad idea, how could you want to when I look like this anyways— we were doing good as friends and I just went and blew everything up I shoul—“

“Please shut up” He says with a chuckle, leaning back down and pressing a kiss to your lips. “Trust me, I want to, I really want to but I don’t want to risk it—because of the baby”

You turn your head, looking over at the wall, feeling embarrassed. “I just ruined everything”

“Nothing is ruined” He says softly, turning your head back to face him, “Hey—nothing is ruined”

“I shouldn’t have assumed that you would even want to, after all the work we’ve done and the way that I look” You mumbled, lip quivering as you spoke.

“For the record, I have never not been attracted to you” Bjorn laughed lightheartedly trying to make you feel better, “I thought you were hot when we were 13 and Tyler introduced us and I think you’re hot now”

You wiped at a tear that managed to slip out, “You’re just being nice”

“I know you feel that against your leg” He deadpanned, referring to his excitement under the sheets. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted you more”

“Really?” You mumbled, feeling self conscious.

“Yes really” He admits sweetly, brushing his fingertips through your hair. “Knowing you’re carrying my baby—well it does something to me, that I didn’t expect. I’ve just been holding back because I thought you didn’t want it”

You blush up at him, attempting to hide your face in your hands, but before you can he grabs them, leaning forward and kissing you again.

“We can’t do the big stuff, I don’t wanna hurt the baby but—” He said carefully, drumming his fingertips along your skin as they glided under the blanket, “But I can still make you feel good”

His fingers stopped at the waistband of your panties, dancing along the fabric that was already moist. He made a sound with his tongue as he watched your eyes roll back before fluttering closed.

He applied pressure as he moved his fingers in a circular motion against the fabric, earning a whimper from your lips. “Already so wet for me”

“Oh shit” You breathed out as he pushed the fabric aside and slipped his fingers along your wet lips. They glided easily with how slick you were and you nearly lost it at that.

“Oh you needed this huh?” He said quietly focusing on the rise and fall of your chest.

His slowly slid his finger inside of you, watching with his mouth agape as you took it, before adding a second finger.

“Fucks sake” He breathed as he pumped his fingers slowly, feeling you clench around his fingers. He pressed against you again, catching your lips against his and kissing you against the rhythm of his fingers. Even before he had always managed to multitask like this.

You bucked your hips slightly, in an effort to keep him going and get to that sweet spot. He was biting at your bottom lip and pulling it slightly causing you to moan as his thumb rubbing circles on your clit.

“Is this why you’ve been so grumpy lately?” He mumbled against your mouth, still moving his fingers in and out of you, picking up the pace.

“Shut up” You moaned again, breathing erratically as he touched you.

He left a sloppy trail from your mouth down your jaw line and landing on your neck again, “Next time just ask me”

You could hardly focus on what he was saying as he moved in the bed and under the sheets, careful if your belly and positioning himself between your legs. Without skipping a beat he replaced his fingers with his mouth.

You nearly screamed at the sensation, clutching the sheets in fistfuls around you. You were more sensitive than ever and the second his tongue made contact with your center you were squealing. His hands came around your thighs holding them apart as you squirmed from sheer pleasure. You wanted this to last forever but when he slid his fingers back in while he sucked on your sensitive spot you were done for.

You yelled out his name as you felt complete bliss wash over you. Your body twitching as his tongue continued to suck and clean the area, nearly causing a second orgasm.

When he appeared from under the blankets his hair was disheveled and his lips wet. He moved carefully around your belly before laying down next to you again. “That has to be a new record”

You reached up and laced your fingers through his hair, pulling him toward you and kissing him softly. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he swirled it in your mouth. You felt drunk with pleasure.

Your hand fell against his chest and slowly made its way down until he stopped you right at the waistband of his boxers. “You don’t have to”

It was your turn to shut him up, pressing your lips back to him and moving your hand between his boxers and skin. Immediately you felt him, just as aroused as you were.

He bit back a moan as your finger brushed against his tip, dripping with pre-cum. You worked your hand around him, making sure it was wet enough before pumping him.

“Oh fuck” He whined, “Fuck, fuck”

“I guess I’m not the only one who needed this” You whispered against his ear, sucking on his ear lobe.

His breathing became erratic as you pumped him faster until he erupted in his boxers. He sighed, running his hand over his face and through his hair as his eyes rolled back.

You’re pumping slowed, feeling him all over your hand as you pulled it out of his boxers and up to your mouth, licking the sticky substance from your fingers.

“Shit” He whined, pulling you back in to kiss him after you sucked your fingers clean. The kiss was lazy and sloppy, the two of you now feeling spent. “I guess we both needed that”

When he fell back against the pillow next to you, you both stared at the ceiling, breathing syncing up. “We can still be friends and help each other out”

“Yeah” He breathed. “What kind of parents would we be if we didn’t help each other out”

“Exactly” You agreed, holding your hand out to him for a high five.

He snorted, but lifted his hand and clapped it against yours.

*

About a week after your moment with Bjorn you went to medical. Bjorn and the others had talked you into getting a scan for the baby's sake. They had a point, as much as you hated the company, it would be reassuring to know if the baby was growing correctly and was healthy. You went by yourself, not wanting them to know who the father was. You didn't want him to be held finically accountable in the eyes of the company. It was easier to say you weren't sure who the father was.

You let them ask a million questions as they slid a cold jelly across your bare stomach. The nurse moved a machine over the bump as you watched the screen.

"Are you sure there's a baby in there?" The synthetic nurse had joked, noticing the tenseness of your body and your hands closed in fists at your sides.

Suddenly, they moved it to the side and a body appeared. They pointed out the head and feet. But you could barely hear them, too busy watching the baby, your baby, move inside of you on the screen.

"Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"

You nodded at them, not trusting your voice with the sheer emotion you were feeling. The nurse hit a switch on the machine and the sound of thumping filled the small room.

"Strong heartbeat, that's always a good sign" The nurse said happily, typing into the screen. "You're five months on the dot which means we can find out the gender if you would like"

You breathed out, blinking away the tears that began to gather in your eyelashes as you listened to the heartbeat.

"Miss, did you hear me?" The synthetic's voice questioned.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Would you like to know the gender?" They repeated.

"Oh uh-" You whispered, moving your hand on your arm. You wanted to know, but a part of you wanted to keep something sacred, especially since Bjorn wasn't there. It didn't feel right finding out this way, "No, I don't wanna know"

By the end of the appointment, they handed you a printed photo still from the video of the ultrasound. It showed the outline of the baby perfectly.

When you presented the photo to Bjorn later that day, he traced the outline of the baby with his finger as you pointed out the arms and legs, even the little toes forming. He was in awe, still staring at it even after you had made dinner.

"I told them we didn't want to know the gender," You said from the kitchen behind him. "Thought it would be a nice surprise"

"I'm with you, whatever you want" He said, still staring at the picture.

After a couple minutes you came to stand behind the back of the couch, looking over his shoulder at the picture, "Pretty crazy huh?"

“Crazy, terrifying, exciting” He said tossing his left and right as he listed the words, “All of the above”

You sat next to him, resting your head on his shoulder and rubbing your belly. “I think I could be a good mother”

“There’s no think about it” Bjorn said moving his arm around your shoulder so you could sit comfortably, “You will”

“What if we can’t get out of here? What if they end up just like us?” You wonder pointing your finger at the small face on the picture.

“I made you a promise” He said kissing your forehead, “I’m going to get us all out of here”

Later that day the group came for dinner and Bjorn showed of the picture like a prize before pinning it up in the living room.

*

At 7 months pregnant you’d been lying in bed tossing and turning, unable to sleep when you’d made your way to the main room of the trailer. Despite the late hours Bjorn had been up, a beer sitting on the table in front of him and an old movie playing on the tv. He opted for spending time out there when he was wired from work instead of keeping you up in the bedroom.

He didn’t notice you until your bare feet padded over to the side of the couch.

“Shit, did I wake you?” He was startled, sitting up on the couch and reaching for the remote to turn it down.

“No, not you” You took your free hand and rubbed at your belly under one of his shirts, “He’s been keeping me up”

“He?” Bjorn had questioned, looking at your stomach.

"Yeah" You moved to sit on the couch beside him, your back killing you. “I dunno, I just don’t wanna keep calling them it. '

“What do you want it to be?” He asked, turning to look at you. The lights from the small screen that played the movie lit up the dark room, casting funny shadows on his face.

“What do you want it to be?” You countered, propping your feet on the small table in front of the couch.

"Uh" He took his thumb and ran it over his bottom lip, absentmindedly biting at his nail, “I haven’t really thought about it”

You could tell her was unsure of himself when it came to the baby when you did try to speak about it so you spoke up again, “At first I was thinking it was a she but after tonight I'm thinking he"

"Why?" He asked, looking over your features while you spoke.

"Because right now he's being a pain in my ass like his daddy” You laughed, meeting his gaze.

Daddy. It was the first time you’d referred to him like that. You’d thought you might’ve made him uncomfortable or overstepped as he stood from the couch and walked into the kitchen. When he returned, he had a worn-out teddy bear, it was small and brown, tattered in some spots. He held it out to you as he sat back down.

“I- uh found this where my mom used to stash things she didn't want the company to get their hands on, it was mine when I was a baby. I know it’s sorta tore up and old—“

You took it from his hand, holding the stuffed toy next to your belly, “It’s perfect, he or she will love it”

He smiled at you, staring down at his hand on his lap.

“You hear that, daddy got you a present” You spoke to your belly, holding the bear in one hand and tapping your finger along the fabric of your shirt.

"What are you doing?" He adjusted on the cushion next to you, watching you.

"I read in a booklet that the nurse gave me that you should talk to them, it helps with bonding and calming them or something" You explained, gathering your hair in a low ponytail so it was out of your face.

"I didn't know that" He said quietly, picking at his lips with his fingers as he watched you speak to the unborn baby in a soft, cheery voice.

“Of course you wanna sleep now” You say, tapping your finger along your belly again. "Are you tired after kicking me for hours?"

A minute passed and you sighed, leaning back into the couch and glancing over at him, "You try"

“Nah, I'm good” He said nervously.

"Don't be scared" You encouraged, pulling your shirt up and over the belly and gathering the fabric under your boobs. Your underwear was exposed but you weren't embarrassed after the relationship you and Bjorn once had. "Just talk like we are now"

He nodded as he moved on the couch, leaning over and propping himself up so his face was closer to your stomach. He hesitantly spread the palm of his hand flat against your skin.

“Hey, can you hear me?” He spoke directly to your belly, his breath tickling your skin. “Uh, this is your daddy"

After a minute of no reaction, the skin next to where he spoke stretched slightly, “Oh did you see that?” He asked excitedly, his eyes lit up.

“I think that’s a hand” You whispered, eyes fixated on him as he spoke and the joy on his face when he got a reaction from the baby.

"Have you been keeping mommy awake?" Bjorn rubbed your belly absentmindedly as he spoke, leaving goosebumps on your skin. "You know she gets grumpy when she doesn't get enough sleep"

You laughed at that, the vibration shaking your belly slightly. Another movement occurred against your skin and his eyes gleamed.

“I told you he likes the sound of your voice” You said, matter-of-factly.

Another kick came and his eyes stared up at you, "Or he just likes the sound of his mommy's laugh"

Your heart fluttered. You had to force yourself to look away, breaking the tension with a quiet cough.

He continued to tap on the belly, feeling the little extremities through the skin. His touch relaxed you indirectly and as he spoke softly you felt your eyelids getting heavy.

Before you let sleep take you, you hear his hushed voice whisper, "I can’t wait to meet you”

*

You felt like a whale as you waddled your way to Tyler and Kay’s trailer with Bjorn by your side. The girls wanted to throw you a little party for the baby as you got closer to the end of your pregnancy. You’d begged them not to but they were too excited and you couldn’t say no, not when they already loved this baby so much.

When you arrived Tyler and Bjorn opted for a cigarette outside, letting the girls and Andy have their time with you.

In the few months that Kay known about the baby she had managed to make a plethora of baby clothes, most being gender neutral due to the fact that there was hardly any pink or girly fabrics in the colony.

You had to admit the clothes she had made were precious. They were tiny little jumpers with little shapes stitched into them in an effort to make them more personalized. She’d even made a blanket with little silk detailing on the edges.

“How did you find this material?” You’d asked holding the blanket against your chest.

“Believe it or not I found it at the market” She smiled, big doe eyes sparkling the way they always seemed to, “They cost a pretty penny but it’s worth it for this little one”

She had reached over and placed her hand on your belly, smiling up at you. You pulled her into a hug, as best as you could with your enlarged stomach.

Rain had gifted you a book of nursery rhymes and short stories that you could read to the baby, something she said her mother used to read to her.

Navarro had made something that resembled bassinet. You’d only seen them in old movies, never being around anyone who had a baby. It was fashioned out of a wooden material with handles, on the inside there was a cushion to act as a mattress.

“This way you have something for them to sleep in” She had said from the window of the trailer near where everyone sat. She had always been nonchalant about everything. “Well—until they out grow it, then I can make you a new one”

You thanked everyone a million times. Your heart feeling so full as you looked at the things your friends had took the time do get or make. So much love that you felt you didn’t deserve.

"I've been working on some jokes y/n" Andy said excitedly, "Do-do you want to hear one-e?"

You nodded, leaning forward to get a look at him while he spoke.

“How did the baby know it was time to be born?"

"I dunno, how?"

"It ran out of womb—“ Andy spoke from the floor where he sat crossed legged, reading the book Rain had gotten for you, “Get it womb like room”

“That was really great, Andy” You laughed, but it turned into a sniffle, which turned into a cry. Your heartbeat quickened and your head started to spin. As your eyes welled up with tears and you buried your face in the homemade blanket. "This is all really great"

Your shoulder shook and suddenly you were sobbing into the material. Bjorn and Tyler walked in as everyone sat quietly around you, watching you but not sure what to do, considering you had just been fine.

“Hey— hey what’s going on in here?” Tyler’s voice asks and you suddenly feel Kay move from her spot beside you and someone else sit down. “Is she okay? Is the baby okay?”

You feel Bjorn beside you without having to look. You’d been able to sense his presence now, something about it calmed you down. He moves your hands down from your face and moves your chin to look at him. “What’s going on?”

You sniffle, trying to calm down but when you saw him it made you cry more, burying your face against his shoulder.

“What can I do?” Tyler asked Bjorn frantically, hating to see you upset. “What’s going on?”

“She’s okay” Bjorn reassured, smoothing his hand against the back of your head, soothing you as best as he could. “Can you get her a water?”

After a couple of minutes of Bjorn rubbing circles on your back you sit up. Your face is red from crying and you feel embarrassed as they all stare at you. Tyler is crouched on the floor near Andy, holding out a cup of water. You take it from him, taking a couple sips feeling Bjorn’s hand still on your back.

“I’m sorry” You said quietly at the friends who surrounded you, all sharing the same solemn expressions. "I-I think just got overwhelmed or something-"

“Don’t be sorry” Rain responded putting her hand on your knee. "We didn't mean to upset you or anything-"

"No, no, it's nothing you guys did, you've made me feel so happy knowing this baby will know what it's like to be loved" You smiled, urging yourself not to cry again. "I just- the closer it gets the more I worry about the world they'll grow up in"

You didn’t have to explain why you felt that way. They understood. Afterall every person in the room was an orphan. It was the way of the colony. You didn't want that for your baby.

You didn’t realize but you were leaning into Bjorn’s side until he shifted slightly beside you. In recent weeks when you found yourself attached to him, you'd not yet decided if it was because of the night you shared or his ability to ground you when you got nervous.

“I just wish there was a way off this colony that didn't require being granted travel permits that the company will never give us” You say, trying to laugh half heartedly to ease the awkward tension.

You looked around watching as everyone nodded. It was something you'd all talked about forever. You'd heard stories of people getting travel permits and leaving but they were few and far between. Bedtime stories your parents had told you growing up. The idea of hope and freedom.

Your eyes landed on Tyler how rubbed Rains thigh absentmindedly, staring off, deep in thought.

“So, uh- have you guys thought of names yet?” Kay asked once you had leaned back against the couch with Bjorn nestled beside you. He kept his arm around your shoulder helping you to relax.

“Not really” You said, looking up to Bjorn, “Well—I guess not at all”

“I’m sure no one will mind if you name it Tyler” Tyler says from his spot, sipping on a beer, Rain was curled up next to him on the floor, and smacked at his chest when he spoke, “Ouch, what— Tyler is a strong name, could be a girl or a boy name-”

“Speaking of,” Navarro interrupted from her perch as she chewed on a piece of candy, “Do you guys think it’s a boy or girl?”

“Boy” Bjorn answered, tilting his head back to look at her. “Well that’s what y/n always says at least when it’s being little menace making her sick or kicking her” Bjorn added.

“I only refer to it as he when he’s being ornery” You laughed, resting your cup of water on your belly. “But I dunno”

“I hope it’s a girl” Bjorn suddenly says, taking a sip of his beer and then resting it on his knee. It took you by surprise. He’d never mentioned much about a preferred gender.

Kay looked between the two of you, smiling big again, “A little girl would be precious”

“Really” You asked still in shock, looking up at him from his side. “I didn’t know that”

“That’s what I’ve been picturing,” He nodded, chewing at his lip and glancing down at your belly, “A little girl bouncing around”

“Well regardless if it’s anything like my cousin here you’re gonna be in for it” Tyler laughed.

“Good thing we’ve got all of you to help us” You say, looking around the room and smiling at them. A melancholy feeling had taken over your happy mood.

*

At 8 months pregnant you were miserable. Your feet were swollen, and your stomach was so big you could hardly sleep at all. Most nights you left the bed to Bjorn, finding that sleeping straight up on the couch was the closest you would get to a full night of rest. You waddled everywhere you went and was always out of breath.

Bjorn had finished his shift in the mines and came into the trailer to find you sitting on the couch, balancing a plate on your belly with your feet propped up. You'd been playing one of his games, something you'd grown to be good at, considering there wasn't much else to do.

He had showered and plopped down on the couch next to you. "Are you hungry?"

"No, thanks"

"Are you sure? What did you eat today?"

"Enough" You sighed focusing on the game, moving the controller as you shot at a spaceship. "It's all I do all day now"

"What's your problem?" He asks suddenly, taking a sip of his beer and looking at you.

"What?" You asked, biting your lip as you shot again, "I'm fine"

"You're obviously not"

"What are you talking about?"

"Whatever" He huffed, standing from the couch and moving to the kitchen.

"Bjorn what the fuck is your problem?"

"What? I'm communicating, you said we should communicate. I'm asking what your problem is, that's communication"

"Whatever" You groan tossing the controller down on the small table and standing from the couch, holding your lower belly as you did.

"Do you not want me to check on you? Make sure you are eating enough for my baby?"

"No, you can check on me" You plead as you waddle into the kitchen, watching as he opens cabinets and shuts them hard.

"Well, I just did and now you're mad"

"You asked if what I ate today and I answered" You defended, watching as he opened the cabinets and began to make himself noodles.

"You might as well of told me to fuck off" He laughed, turning his back to you as he messed with the stove.

"Oh my fuck" You shout, slamming your hand on the counter near him. "What is this about?"

"Just say you're mad at me" He demands turning around to face you as the water begins to boil in the pot next to him.

"I'm not mad, you're picking a fight for no reason!"

"What are you talking about?!" He shouts.

"You're on edge or something and you're taking it out on me" You shout back, "Did something happen in the mines?"

"Great, so you're mad and now it's my fault?" He asks, turning and holding his arms out dramatically.

"I'm not mad at you" You scream at him, leaving to walk to the bedroom. Halfway down the hall you hear his snarky voice.

"Could've fooled me"

"Ok" You shout again, coming back into the kitchen, holding your stomach with both hands now, "We need to talk about whatever is going on with you"

"I don't need to talk about anything"

"Really? Because you're acting like a fuckin' child right now" You yell, watching as he slams the fridge door closed after grabbing another beer. You took a breath, feeling the baby kick and thought for a moment before adding, "What happened with Tyler?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Before you left today you told me about the message Tyler left, he wanted to see you after your shift, he said it was important" You recounted, "You see him and then come home like this, so what happened?"

"Nothing" He said, a tone in his voice that you hadn't heard for many months now.

"Really? Because I can call him up right now and ask him myself" You threaten, walking closer to him and taking the beer from his hand. When he stood against the counter, staring at the boiling water you laughed extremely annoyed at this situation.

You left the kitchen, grabbing your data watch from the couch and calling him. It rang for a minute but there was no answer. Tyler always answered you when you called.

"I'll just go over to his trailer and ask him, I'm not playing this game with you guys" You slipped on your boots, not bothering to tie them as you headed toward the door. "Someone is going to tell me what the fuck is going on"

You open the door to the dark sky outside but before you can open it fully to leave Bjorn's hand comes up and pushes it shut. "Sit down"

"No, not until you tell me what is going on with you and what Tyler said to you" You argue, jerking the door against his weight.

After a minute he sighs, "He found a way out"

"A way out?" You let go of the handle of the door, backing up and sitting down on the couch. "What are you talking about?"

He came to sit on the table in front of the couch so he was able to touch your knees. You rubbed your belly as he spoke.

"He found a way out of here, one that doesn't require a travel permit" Bjorn was speaking slowly, not nearly as much excitement as you thought he would have in a situation like this. "There's a ship floating above us, he saw it on the scanners. It has enough cryo pods for everyone. We could get out of this system completely"

You nodded, not wanting to interrupt him.

"We have a small window to hijack it and take the cryo pods and get out before they realize what we are doing" He explained. "We could do it, he and Andy and me"

He dropped his head, hanging it low as he sighed, looking like he was trying to find the right words to say.

"Bjorn, what's wrong?" You asked quietly, reaching out and squeezing his hand, "This sounds like a great plan, our way out just like we planned. Our baby could see the sun, breathe clean air-"

"By the time it's close enough for the Corbelan to reach it, the baby would be here" His voice was shaking and you didn't realize he was crying until he looked back at you, blue eyes wet, "It's too risky to put a newborn in cryo-sleep.

We

can't

leave with them"

***********

disclaimer: I have no idea if babies can be put in cryo sleep but for the sake of this fic, we are gonna say no lol

Thanks for reading if you made it this far :)))

[bunni-v1]

Oh. Em. Gee! I read this post of yours https://www.tumblr.com/bunni-v1/771137137008640000/what-do-we-have-here?source=share and I'm going absolutely INSANE!!!!

Please please please, add Wise to this list too!!!

I need all 4 men in this!!!!

(If it wasn't obvious enough, I'm a hoe for all 4 of them)

P.S.: Absolutely in love with your work!!!!💖💖💖💖

What do we have here...? Pt. 2

🍓Lycaon was actually supposed to be in the original post, but I was so stumped on how to write him I just... didn't. Now I'm gonna actually do it though, because I'm lowkey obsessed with him. I was also gonna add Hugo, but I just... I don't wanna. Maybe if someone requests him specifically lol. Sorry, it took me so long to get to this.

Tw: Knotting, rut, marking (Lycaon); Mean dom! reader (Wise)

Info: NSFW; Lycaon, Wise x Reader (separate); fem!reader (sorry)

MDNI

Von Lycaon

The very idea of having your sexual encounters on his phone is nearly repulsive to Lycaon. There are far too many outside variables that could very well go wrong just by having them in his gallery. Imagine if he were to accidentally send one to a client, or Ellen finds them helping him with something. Goodness, the thought makes him shiver, he'd never hear the end of it. However, despite not liking the idea, he has allowed you several times to record on your own device.

He doesn't think much of it when you do, just happy to keep you satisfied. He'd never seen the videos himself, and he never cared to either, they were for your enjoyment after all. It wasn't his place to go through your phone to look for them, so he didn't. Until he stumbled upon them accidentally. He was just looking through old pictures you'd taken together when he found a folder (by some miracle) labeled 'special'. Curiosity got the better of him, and he discovered what felt like hundreds of videos and images of your intimate life. Most of them focused on him, but he could hear you in the background, and see how you shake with the camera. He understood the appeal now.

Videos like these would be especially helpful on nights he would be without you. It wasn't uncommon for him to be away from you for several nights in a row, and despite how much he tried, he was still a man. Relief was difficult without you, but maybe if he had... material... it wouldn't be so hard. So, to your pleasant surprise, he revisits the subject and asks for your permission to record the two of you. Several times. It comes in handy quickly, a cold lonely night in a hotel room on some assignment from a client and he can't quite get you out of his head. You were long asleep by now, so he wouldn't bother you, instead clicking through his phone to the private secured file (which you helped him set up) to what he was needing more than anything.

He looked through the selection thoughtfully, picky about what he wanted to watch. Finally, he lands on one, pressing play after ensuring his volume wasn't at max. It starts awkwardly pointed at the sheets, then quickly corrects itself to an angle between your legs. You are wearing a lacy black panty and garter belt set, plush thighs bulging out from the thigh highs connected to them. It's his favorite thing to see you in. Lycaon's free hand slides up your leg and into view, sinking his fingers into your skin with a gruff sigh from behind the camera. They flex against your thigh, the veins in them popping out.

He wastes no time in gliding them down to your panties, pulling them to the side to reveal your already-soaked cunt. He dips his fingers in without fanfare, and you mewl, the sound reverberating in his skull. You can hardly take two of them before you're crying that it's too much, yet you don't push him away when his thumb circles your clit. He easily works you on his fingers, knowing all your sweet spots by heart to the point he doesn't have to think about it. The video is short because of that fact, you cum quickly under his touch, far sooner than he likes in the moment. Luckily, he has more videos to pick from.

This one looks a little more produced than the last, having the phone set up nearby to record the two of you from behind. It begins with you climbing back into the bed, having been the one to set up the camera, and straddling his lap. His fluffy white tail comes up to cover your rear from the chill of the room, and his hands slide over your hips to help you settle on his dick. The phone picks up your slight hiss, fading to a giggle when his fur tickles you. Candles are lit, and there are a few rose petals scattered on the floor, a scene of absolute romance.

It takes you a moment to adjust to him, leaning down to kiss him and muttering between yourselves words that the phone does not quite pick up. Then, finally, you begin to move your hips. Rolling them slowly against him, sighing out your delight at the friction. One of his hands comes up to your front, and you moan a bit as he does. While most of the action is blocked at this angle, the sounds you make are heavenly, and they only get better when you begin to bounce. The wet slapping mixes with your moans in a positively addicting way, making his chest feel tight. He misses you dearly, if only you were here now, where he could touch you like he was in the video.

Sighing, he closes the video, more sad than gratified now. He thinks that one more try would be worth the effort, so he slides down and presses on a video he only vaguely recalls making. It is not well made, and it's hard to make out what's going on. The camera shakes around wildly, unable to focus on anything, but he hears the sound of him pounding into you. You whimper and whine, clearly muffled by the pillows, and finally, the camera focuses on something.

That something is, of course, your dripping cunt stuffed full with his throbbing cock. It sucks him in with each thrust, practically trying to milk him with how hard he can see you clenching. Now this was... interesting. You'd clearly already cum more than once, obvious from the sticky white ring around the base of his cock. Deep red bite marks marr the soft skin of your thighs, also covered in slick, and it dawns on him just what exactly he was watching. His own rut in action, deep into it at that. From the way he was breathing behind the camera, it was clear just what he had intended to record, though he was surprised he'd had the brain power to do it in the first place.

His free hand readjusts your leg, spreading it wide to give the camera a better view of where you are connected. There is a visible swell forming at the base of Lycaon's cock, bullying its way into your already abused pussy. Your leg shakes in his hold, another orgasm coming over your body, but it doesn't deter him. His thrusts become more shallow, not wanting to pull out for anything, not even the friction. The knot only gets bigger and bigger by the second, and your shaking only gets worse and worse the longer he stays inside.

There is a sharp intake of air, and then he finally shoves himself inside until you are pressed flush into his stomach. His knot swells fully, locking the two of you together for the next few hours as he dumps his load into you. A cry of his name has the phone being set down, forgotten in favor of caring for you, loyal as the dog he is to your needs. It was alright, though. Lycaon had long since satisfied himself. Unfortunately, now he had a few other issues on his mind, specifically about how to finish this job with a very obvious oncoming rut.

Wise

Wise 100% without a doubt is the one who brings up recording your sexcapades. As a movie lover and a tech nerd, it's only natural that he finds the idea of having sex on camera hot. Besides, he's a really busy guy, sometimes the two of you don't have the time to have sex. So, naturally, he needs something to help him get through the more lonely nights.

Worry not, your videos are well protected, thanks to his knowledge. No one is getting to his stash, not even Belle in all her nosy picking and prodding. (Fairy, however, could easily do so. Luckily, the AI has the wherewithal to not help Belle figure out what's in her brother's "super top secret, triple password protected file".) Yes, it's a hassle to get into the file, but he would rather not risk anyone else seeing either of you in your pathetic state of pleasure. It would be far more embarrassing for him anyway.

Tonight was, like many others, a lonely one. Wise had been working since early in the morning and, unfortunately, hadn't thought to invite you to stay over while you were visiting earlier. Of course, he could very easily text you, and you'd happily come over and help him with his little problem, but that would likely wake Belle (if she was even asleep yet, knowing her), and he just didn't want to deal with her teasing. That was what the videos were for, though, so he goes through the process of getting into the file and is greeted with some of his favorite sights in the world.

By now, he knew which ones would work the best for him, so he didn't have to think before he clicked on the first video leaning back into his pillows with a tired sigh. The camera is pointed down between your legs, Wise's silvery hair peaking between them. You have a hand fisted between the locks, controlling his movements with harsh tugs. He eats you out vigorously, following your lead obediently like he was trained to do. His whole face is bright red, positively pussy drunk on you. The sloppy sucking and slurping is all he can hear, aside from the occasional sigh from you. They're not sighs of pleasure, though, more of boredom. Like you were warning him that he wasn't doing good enough.

A harsh tug of his hair is proof enough of that, forcing him away from you. He whines, positively torn apart at the loss of your taste, and he can see your juices dripping down his chin in the light of the camera. His gaze is unfocused, completely dazed, only wanting to keep doing his job. You coo at him, moving your hand to cup his face in a tight grip. His lips pout when you squeeze, shaking his face toward the camera with a cruel laugh. "Awww, look at how cute you are, you wanna make me cum?"

He nods vigorously, pleading up at the camera with big teary eyes. You don't give him a break, instead shoving your fingers in his mouth. He sucks on command, closing his eyes and focusing on the action. You let him get them nice and wet, then pull them out with a pop. "How cute... maybe I'll let you if you sit and watch like a good boy? You can do that, can't you?" Again he nods, sitting back on his feet and watching obediently as you begin to finger yourself. The video cuts off shortly after that, so he moves to the next one.

The camera is now pointed upward, facing your front. You're straddling him on the very bed he's lying in currently, leaning back casually as you watch him adjust the camera until he's satisfied with the angle. When he is, you start grinding yourself into him, hips moving in a hypnotizing roll. It's mesmerizing the way you move against him, heat flooding through his body at the reminder of how nice your weight feels atop him. The heat of your skin against his much warmer than his own hand.

He whimpers behind the camera like an idiot, trying and failing to thrust up into you. Legs pinned down by your own making it far too difficult for him to do, so he is stuck taking your slow and easy pace. You are enjoying it very obviously, wide smirk on your face as you take your time in torturing him. Each roll of your hips was practically designed to drive him mad, and you do so successfully based on the sounds he's making. The calm pace only lasts for so long, and you lean back a little to get a different angle. Quietly, before you begin your next phase of the plan, you remind him to keep the camera held straight or else. There is some noise of acknowledgment, and then you start bouncing on him. Fast and rough, much more than he anticipates in the video, making him whine like a whore. Your head rolls to the side, your back arching, and your tits bounce in time with your movements. You really look like a goddess like this, he thinks, and he cannot get enough of it. It's wholly distracting to see you in such a position, and it seems he forgets what he was supposed to be doing, and the camera gets shakier and shakier until it falls unceremoniously to the sheets.

The next video after is a result of his own fumbling from the previous video. You are holding the camera once more, starting the video off with a big grin, and you nearly look adorable if not for the context. The camera flips around, and the view is something sinful. Wise is tied down to the bed, ass up face down, with a vibrator shoved up his ass. You giggle almost sweetly at the sight, tracing your finger around the base of the toy. "Someone didn't listen~" You purr, drawing them down to fondle his balls. His member jumps in excitement as you do so, very desperate for your touch.

You hum, rubbing your fingers lightly down his shaft as you press against his balls. You don't touch him how he wants you to, though, and you won't until you decide he is deserving of it. "Are you sorry?" You ask, and there is desperate nodding that jostles his whole body. You hum again, "Do you think you deserve to be forgiven?" More nods, accompanied by desperate whimpering this time. You seem to debate it for a few moments longer, before humming your approval. "Alright, I forgive you now. Just be good in the future silly."

It is then that you finally wrap your hand around his shaft, and the pace you set is brutal. You tug along his sensitive member quickly, so fast that there is audible slapping when your hand meets his balls over and over. You do not relent your pace, even when he starts crying, reminding him that this is what he wants. You jerk him off while the toy vibrates intensely inside him, making his cries of pleasure all the more pathetic. His legs begin to shake as his orgasm draws near, and all at once he is spurting white creamy cum all over his sheets. You keep going, even after he's cum, laughing as he tries and fails to scramble away from you. Again, reminding him that this is what he wanted, and that he needs to be good and make up for his mistakes.

Wise huffs as he closes the video, looking at his cum covered hand with shame. He was far too weak for you... perhaps you would like a little surprise to wake up to. He quickly snaps a picture of his newly ruined pants, sending it with a cheeky caption. He doesn't expect you to respond with how late it is, but his phone dings with your familiar tone. Seems he wasn't the only one who was feeling needy tonight.