#but I can't stop thinking about the fact that they need to find loopholes for Sonic to cry nowadays

[descendant-of-truth]

When the writing dictates that it only makes sense for Sonic to start crying, but he's contractually obligated not to, so you have to shoot the scene of him bringing his hands to his eyes from approximately 50+ feet away

[cvnt4him]

................................................

"woah would you look at that, deku just took out that guy with a single punch!"

"he's so amazing!~"

"you're my hero!!!"

So many people chant, root, and holler for even the slightest glimpse of his attention, even a glance.

"Mr deku, what can you tell us about this villain, you hadn't even put up much of a hassle and yet he appears to be tired!" One report gleams.

It's true. He hadn't done too much, one simple practically, light punch and the criminal was already down, he knew that. Deku knew he was good, he knew others thought he was good. He thrived on that kind of energy.

"oh~, well you know, I'm not one to brag nor bring other people down, criminal or not we're all human." He sings to the reporter, hinting at the fact she gave the measly little lowlife schmuck at best, a promotion to 'villian'. cameras flashing everywhere as he heard a bunch of girlish screams, everyone looks over to see a bunch of fan girls rallying to get an autograph.

Dammit.

Izuku tried so hard not to let his smile faulter, its not that he disliked his fans, really he could never, he knows one of the reasons he's here is because of his fans, and he loves them all equally no matter what. However. scrolling on the Internet, especially as a pro hero it's hard not to go down a loophole of your own fans. Izukus fans are nice, sure. But they're also bat shit crazy.

Doxxing people for disagreeing, assuming he was gay for his best friend dynamite, writing fanfiction about him and his best friend dynamite, assuming he had a new significant other because he changed up his style of clothing??

Really his fans are too much, he loves them, he does. But they are just so...smothering?

As he sees the fans hurrying toward him he tries his hardest to jump away as he was stopped by a little deaf girl who wanted an autograph.

Shit. You can't NOT give a little deaf girl an autograph it'd be bad publicity. he sighs deeply in defeat, knowing how easily persuaded he is, he'll most likely be there standing, on his feet, smiling wide and big for fans, for the next hour and a half.

Izuku sighed deeply through his nose as he finally, after 5 more hours of working, made it back to his bed, that's all he wanted. He didn't bother taking his suit off just simply jumping in his bed and groaning at the comfort he longed for.

He grabbed his phone and opened Twitter.. that was the first mistake of the night, he scrolled through his feed coming across a post of a girl just rambling about her ever lasting love for deku.

He shifted in his bed so now he was laying back on his pillows, turning up the sound to hear your beautifully slurred voice.

"- like bro.. I don't think any of you understand how my NEED for this man is like just.. sigh. I'm about to go crazy bro. If I were given the chance I'd do unholy. Unspeakable. Down right horrendous things to this man, i- aHaAVE YOU SEEN HIS NEW HERO SUIT??" You were talking to your friend who had the idea to start recording you while you were drunk, laughing and snorting at you.

The video was posted by you, the caption read; 'my friend started recording while i was drunk and i randomly went on a rant ab my love for the #1 hero 💀'

He snickered at this, genuinely finding it funny, but sooner or later it registered in his brain what you'd said..you'd do what to him.

Before he knew it he was semi hard, he looked down at his slight hard on confused, there is no way this turned him on?? He had been sent so many videos of his fan girls from all ages going down on a dildo with his name slapped on it, he never found it the least but attractive, just kind of desperate..

He watched the video again, his cock becoming fully erect as he sighed at the uncomfortable feeling of his now leaking, completely hard cock, rubbing against his suit pants.

It had been a while since he'd done something like this.. since he had used someone..he needed this, just to relax. Just a couple of strokes to get him to come, that's all.

He let out a shaky sigh, slowly trailing his thick fingers up and down his clothed cock, earning a light squeak to rip from his throat due to the slight pleasure he felt from the gentle actions.

He knew he needed it, he needed this so badly, but he wouldn't rush it. He hated when he rushed things, he says 'they never get done correctly'.

So he would be patient with himself, gently palming himself over his suit pants, letting breathy sighs leave his slightly dried and chapped lips.

He looked over to his phone to see the paused video...

'oh what the hell.' he thought to himself as he grabbed the phone, angling and holding it close to his ear to hear your voice and the loud laughs that he hopefully tried to blur out of his mind. Focusing on your voice fully.

He held the phone close to his ear closing his eyes listening to your slurred speech, and the hiccups and giggles that left your mouth, he bit his lip as his palming motions began to get harder and more rough, "I would do down right horrendous things to this man." That line stuck with him, that's what made him undo his pants and shimmy them off so he could fully touch his leaking, crying cock.

He groaned in embarrassment and disgust in himself at the sight of his already soaked boxers, why did his cock have to be so leaky!!

He whimpered at the sight, pulling his boxers down just enough to have his cock hit against himself. He wrapped two fingers around his cock and rolled his eyes back, biting his lip to sustain the sound that wanted to come out. He stroked himself slowly, letting the precum on his tip continue to drip down his thick cock.

He had listened to the audio all over again this time fixating on the part where you'd talked about his suit. He had changed up his suit a couple of times, never really straying away from the original concept he had in highschool, the green was always there to stay, and he always liked the fact his suit was more of a jumpsuit kind of thing, but changing it over the years, he went with a tighter fabric for his new and improved suit, removing the bunny ears at the back, and adding a white cape, replacing his huge bulky gloves with just as thick, smaller and well fitted ones, the white the painted his suit was now black.

He hadn't done much to his suit really.

But you and so many others thought it was the sexiest thing in the world.

He loved that, that you loved his suit, he whimpered in a pitchy octave, eyes crossing as he shut them, breaths becoming uneven as he wraps his whole hand around his aching, dripping, cock. It yearned for release, he needed it, it hurt so bad but felt so good he couldn't stop, he was sooo close!

So so close, and yet.. not close enough to get him there. He abandoned all self respect and hope for 'not rushing things' he needed to come and the only way he could is if he really touched himself.

He ripped off the top of his hero suit before rummaging in his bedside drawer to grab a Fleshlight, it was a lot more advanced than your normal average pussy shaped fleshie, it had handle and so many different modes!!! It vibrated and wiggled and had a squirt thingy that shot lube inside to make his cock slippery, not that he'd need it, his cock is like a water fountain with so much cum to give.

He turned it onto its highest setting before settling his twitching cock, dribbling with precum, inside of it.

He couldn't contain the line of moans that ripped out of him, he wanted to really he did, he wanted to keep quiet for his neighbors but he just couldn't, he felt so fucking good, he'd felt that he'd never been this hot or bothered before especially not because of some measly audio that wasn't in any way remotely sexual, and yet he was so close to cumming because of it. This video. This person. You.

You were so close to making him cum.. he was right there bucking his hips up into the contraption, shaking, whilst his whole body spasmed as he threw his head back, sweat dripping from his tired and spent body, he groaned and moaned so loudly it was so lewd, he was so lewd. He couldn't believe what he was doing, he felt so dirty, but in this very moment, he couldn't care. He was so drunk off of the immense amount of pleasure he was receiving that all he wanted, needed, was to cum.

And when he finally released with a high pitched moan, globs of tears leaving his rolled eyes, there was so much, ropes of his white, hot, thick cum squirting inside of the toy. It was still vibrating against his softening cock, it made him so overstimulated yet he couldn't move, his orgasm was so strong he didn't have the energy to take his cock out. He just sat there, holding onto the toy that continuously vibrated and massaged his limp, thick, crying cock, crying, sniffing, and whimpering.

Hell he'd probably already came again without even knowing it, his orgasms had gone on for a while, he still couldn't move, just blissfully laying against his bed, covered in sweat and tears streaming down his reddened freckled face.

As he regained his composure, the overstimulation was more than enough, he hiccuped, wiping his face from the tears and sweat that covered it, as he turned off the toy and tossed it off of his bed, he was half naked, hot, and hungry.

He groaned as he draped one of his arms over his face, feeling the sweat and tears cover his forearm, as he heard the video that had been playing over and over again on repeat. His eyes shot wide open as he scurried to grab his phone. he looked at the video in disgust. Had he really just gone to a new low, and came to this stupid video of a dumb drunk girl complimenting him??

His post nut clarity was always bad, especially because he did some pretty down bad, disgusting, sinful things. But this? Yeah he deserved to suffer for all eternity.

He groaned placing his phone under his pillow as he buried his face in said pillow, squeezing his eyes shut at how hard he'd came, his cock still filthy and sticky with his thick ooey gooey cum, now dirtying his bed.

................................................

AN: he hates himself for how much and how hard he came, he really does.

I'm making a pt 2🤭

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Let's put the ship in partnership, shall we? - Extended version

Recipe to get this LONG-ASS meta-post: Be a Sydcarmy truther. Be impartial. Be open-minded. Be patient. Be super thorough with the embedded links 🔗, which are all pieces of this puzzle I've been putting together here and working on for months. There's a reason why this version is EXTENDED.

Bon apetite!

I don’t think I’m making myself clear enough when I say, when I pray, when I demand, that Syd stands by Donna Carmy at 🔗this, his darkest time, not to “fix” him, because obviously, OBVIOUSLY!!! that’s not her responsibility, but because he will lose the will and the strength to fix himself if she leaves him quits. All he does, right and wrong, he does it for her at this point, in his own twisted way. She's his driving force at this given moment in time. Full stop.

And even when he's the only one who can fix himself, it should be even more obvious to anyone with a pair of functioning eyes that he can't do that alone. There is no way on Earth. Yet right now, he is alone. Very. And he continues pushing everyone away from him, even Syd. But he only pushes her because he's convinced her presence is unwavering. And it actually is. He read her right. Usually, addicts hurt those they love the most, the most. And as they do that, they hurt themselves. Carmy is a textbook case. She will walk if she has to, he knows, but he trusts she won't, and at the same time, he's terrified she will if he fails her again. 🔗 Carmen Berzatto is capable of that kinda oxymoron. And more.

As Richie said: "he's locked in a prison of his own making". He read him to filth. LOL!

Syd is the only one who can change that. She's the twist 🔗 in his plot.

*(I've been saying this 🔗since S2, BTW in about 20 posts, tyvm).

Now, Syd is going through her own shitstorm and has a bunch of unsolved issues too, that she deals with or not, differently. She's a very layered character too who's caring but also as self-destructive as Carmen Berzatto. She is fearless but super insecure as well, she's not a workaholic but she's an overachiever and a perfectionist, she's a G woman with a huge heart, full of juxtapositions, just like him. And they chose each other, 🔗probably for all the reasons I just mentioned, knowing what they were getting into all along. They are adults. And they are brilliant. Not that emotionally intelligent, but brilliant nonetheless. He, in particular, has the emotional intelligence of a cactus and Syd is more advanced in that department, but not that much, she's Fort Knox, yet very kind. Precisely that duality of hers, combined with her incredible talent and hardworking nature is exactly what drives Carmy crazy and inspires him because she has what he feels he lost along the way: A HEART. Maybe deep down he even envys that about her... that wouldn't be a stretch. He's capable of that kinda oxymoron. And more.

Their "partnerSHIP":

They are not you, they are not me, they are just 2 people who need each other on an existential/evolutionary level to work on their issues and to grow as people through their partnership. They need to do the inner individual work but they won't do it unless they are together, that's the conflict/loophole of their love story.

The fact that this love story happens in a professional context is just that, context. The point is that it affects them on a personal level and that's exactly what they need because they need to make personal changes to grow as human beings, not as chefs. Although the professional growth, in their case, will be a by-product anyway, of course.

The Root of this conflict is: (we're getting soooo close, BEAR with me, chefs)

In Carmy’s world, deep inside, all that exists is Syd. He's not capable right now of any other level of reasoning. We could say he's incapacitated. Temporarily. She's his compass. This will pass. He will find himself again after this crisis. But not without her. The end of Carmen Berzatto.🔗

He doesn’t really care about the rest of the team, or about Claire for that matter except for the muddy guilt 🔗and frustration he feels surrounding their short-lived relationship, and he most definitely doesn’t care about himself in any way shape, or form other than being Syd’s star bearer. He has re-defined his entire identity based on the life goal of getting HER that bullshit star, out of love for her. She's HIS STAR🔗. That love that he feels for her is self-destructive (which he in some capacity knew all along before embarking on this journey with and for her) and yet he willingly and freely chose it, although he fought it at first. Well, quite frankly it's not like he put up too much of a fight...

Yes, he went about it all wrong BECAUSE he is an asshole:

He went all Donna about it and that rendered him Machiavellian, which means that according to him, his end of getting that star for Sydney, justified ANY means. He's a man of extremes, not of middle ground. Wanna take a walk in his hell? Be my guest → click here.🔗

BTW: That mind is actually Storer's because Carmy is based on him, as I mentioned here.🔗

Syd didn’t make him do that, of course, she inspired him. His love for her inspired him and still does. Yet he is not brave enough to admit it fully, he just sublimates it in this toxic way because it’s the only way he knows how to show it, for now. 🔗And of course, it’s not the right way. That’s exactly my point, he is wrong and if she walks he will NEVER get it right. She’s his muse.

Baby-sit vs Support - not the same thing

Does that mean that Syd has to sacrifice herself for him and his toxic ways of showing affection? Absofuckinglutely not! All Syd has to do is be there, set healthy boundaries because she’s the only one he listens to, and stand up for herself to show him, like only she knows how to, what’s right, and what's wrong. Sounds a lot like baby-sitting, or mothering, I know. But in this case it's called: SUPPORTING, because he's in need and they are partners. While he can be a piece of shit, as Syd is perfectly aware of, this is not a permanent state, it's a crisis and if it was the other way around, he would try to help her, and she would not let him. Because that's what they do, that's their dance. She knows how to ask for help, but prefers not to. He just doesn't know how to, and she's the only one who understands him well enough to provide it anyway and he accepts it from her, and from her only. If you don't get that nuance of their relationship, I'm sorry to break it to you, but with all due respect: you don't get THEM.

We are now even closer to the whole point I am trying to make -thanks for your patience-

Only if she chooses to prioritize their relationship over taking the risk of repeating this same pattern elsewhere with another chef, at another restaurant, for more money and the same role, no promotion, as I went over → HERE, 🔗she will be helping herself AND Carmy. "And" is the operative (and inclusive) word here. The other scenario requires the use of the EXCLUSIVE term "or" and that would be OC for her. And for me, TBH, but this is not about me.

We've reached the key point to really getting it YAY!→ The C word

There is a certain level of codependency here at this point of their relationship, yes. I hope you've noticed. It's inevitable. And that’s what happens in partnerships. Both parties depend on each other at times because they have to rely on each other, it’s not necessarily wrong or unhealthy although it can be, the line is very fine and it can easily be crossed. Yes. That’s another risk. And that is why real and healthy partnerships require adult people and compromise. The end result of a healthy codependent partnership is synergy. Very much like in a functional family dynamic. Compromise and family are intertwined concepts, not just when children are involved. This show is about love and found families.🔗

If the fine line is crossed and the codependency turns inadaptative/dysfunctional, then that desired synergy that allows all parties involved to mutually benefit each other, turns into chaos, where everyone hurts each other. War, which usually leads to the dissolution of the bond. They, and I mean The Bear's team, not just Syd and Carmy, are currently dancing on that line thanks to Carmy, but have NOT crossed it yet. Why? Because they fucked up on the Vibrant Collaboration part.🔗

The end of S3 left them standing on the verge of choosing to go for the synergy and mutual benefit (this will require compromise and hard work from both and everyone else around them) or for the dissolution of their bond (this will entail pain and loss for all parties involved and no one will gain anything but a lesson learned on what not to do, even if Syd leaves The Bear behind, and I don't just mean the restaurant, goes to work for Shapiro and wins a bullshit star). I hope we're clear on that. That latter scenario does not automatically guarantee Syd's happiness or success and it certainly implies Carmy's destruction. That’s why it’s really hard for me to wrap my mind around why some “Sydcarmy truthers” prefer that alternative. But again, this is NOT about me. This is about the fact that given the current circumstances, he will be a hopeless case without her. And she can guess it, that's ONE of the reasons why she can't make herself quit. The other is this one. 🔗(*check RB notes about the Joker). And I'm going easy on this one because I'm fully disregarding the assumption that Syd is down bad for Carmy but, just like him, she doesn't wanna feel that, she is in denial, and doesn't allow herself to feel it, not because she deems herself unworthy of his love in her current state unless she wins a Michelin star but because she's absolutely aware that Carmy Berzatto is a piece of shit. But yet she fucking loves him.

The catch:

But here’s the catch: whilst both choices are valid and should be respected if made freely, only one of them takes into account the current disparity of one of the parties involved at this time. In other words: The timing (that's why I don't oppose her going to Noma with Luca eventually or leaving The Bear to open her own dream spot, and I'm 100% sure that even though Carmy wouldn't be too crazy about it, he wouldn't oppose either, if she's happy. I actually expect the Sydluca/Noma storyline to unravel in S4 ). BUT right now Carmy is at his lowest. So it's just wrong, it's just not the right time. It can't happen on a show called THE BEAR, he has to fulfill his redemption arc and can't do it without her at this time.

On the bright side, there’s no way but up from here, but he is at his absolute worst right now because he has EVERYTHING to lose, a lot of people who depend on him and not enough energy left in him to start over if he fails. Syd, on the other hand, still has it in her, whether she stays or leaves. She’s fucked right now too, which is her responsibility and not Carmy’s -even though Carmy definitely contributed- but Syd, as she is, can still make it anywhere. Whether she stays or leaves, she is still at a good enough point where she can still work it out, no matter what she chooses. Unlike Carmy.

And even when Carmy’s best interests are not 100% her responsibility, they are part of that partnership she chose to be in, she cares about it, and it’s in her nature to want to nurture, support, and inspire those around her and right now who needs that the most is... you guessed it: Carmen Berzatto, the piece of shit. Not at her expense, of course. That is the part of the job SHE has to do in herself so this “support” doesn’t entail her own harm. That's HER arc.

There is a way in which both can win and Carmy doesn’t have to lose so she can choose herself. That way is based on full and mutual honesty, open communication, compromise, and patience. It is NOT based on bottling up feelings, not voicing needs, not setting boundaries and reinforcing them when needed, resenting each other, and most importantly: denying emotions, which is what they both excel at. Because emotions are on the left-hand column🔗. Their emotions are the game changers. Especially when you lead with your heart.

Bonus track: If you think for a second that Carmen Berzatto doesn’t lead with his ❤️, just like Syd does, then you’re wrong. You don’t know him. He might be too much in his head right now, and that is a very dark place, but he's all heart, which makes him extremely dangerous when he crosses over into his dark side. Hence → S3. And here's another catch: He knew this all along, he knew what getting that bullshit star (for her) was gonna trigger in him, he expected this. He tried to protect her and talk her out of it. But there was no use because they both lead with their hearts. And that is why, no matter what it looks like right now, no matter how many detours they take, they will always end up HERE 🔗.

Summing up: I'm not worried 💅

[idrellegames]

How do you maintain love in your playerbase knowing that some of the people there are the same selfish people who are leaking or trying to leak/pirate the hard work of indie devs and writers? Ngl my project was nowhere near as big and popular as yours but something like that happened to me and I slowly lost interest in my project. I still keep up with IFs I like but can't ever seem to manifest the interest and love I used to have for my work after it happened the first time. People say things like giving up is just "letting them win" or that we should just be happy that someone out there enjoys our game and hearing "reasons" like that make me realize it's hopeless to get any respect for my work

First of all, I'm really sorry your project got leaked. It is an unfortunate side of being a creator - especially an online one. Regardless of the form, regardless of whether you're an hobbyist or a professional, art is a hot commodity. People want high quality entertainment, but they don't want to pay for it.

I've been avoiding addressing the IF leaks outside of this post because I don't think it's productive to throw any more attention on the situation. Leaks happen, they are always going to happen--if someone wants something and they can't afford it or don't want to pay for it and they want it badly enough, they will find a loophole. At the end of the day, it's a very small community of people who are pirating and shoving them into the spotlight is only going to draw more people who were maybe on the fence about downloading pirated content into doing it.

I am pretty steeled when it comes to this topic now. IF isn't the only place where I have experienced my work being leaked. I come from a theatre background and it is very easy for your original work to get produced without you even knowing about it.

A show I worked on in 2012 has its script available online as part of the library of the university where it was produced. My co-writer and I don't collect royalties from it; the intention is for it to remain free to produce for amateur and university companies. However, because of the political and sensitive nature of the script, my co-writer is very adamant about directors contacting her for permission to produce it and to follow certain guidelines before putting it on. Learning about a production in Australia months after the show closed didn't feel great. It wasn't about money, it was about ethics.

With the IF leaks specifically, I think there's a bit of a disconnect happening here between the people who want to play the games and how they view the indie creator who made them. They see paying a Patreon sub as the same as paying a big company for a product, and if they can't afford to pay it or if they don't want to, then no harm is done by pirating it.

But that's not what the relationship is.

Patreon is not paying for a product, it is supporting the creator's livelihood. I am extremely grateful for my patrons. A game the size of Wayfarer is not something that can feasibly be done in the spare moments between day jobs. But capitalism stops for no one and to make this game, I need to be able to afford rent and groceries. A living wage, as some would say.

Are leaks disheartening? Yes. But I also think that people who play pirated content were never going to sub to Patreon in the first place. And, as mentioned earlier, the number of people involved is relatively small. Thankfully, I'm not that much at risk of leaks actually affecting my income at the moment. But I would be concerned and would take a firmer stance if you Googled Wayfarer and the first search result was a pirated copy (and then I would probably follow the appropriate steps to have that result taken down from the search results).

I think the worst thing you can do as a creator is confront leakers directly. That is only going to blow back on you and put more of a spotlight on the fact that your work is getting leaked. I much would rather focus my time and energy on encouraging my community not to pirate my content than chasing down leakers and making PSAs about it.

For the folks who can't afford a Patreon sub or to anyone considering pirating my content, I would encourage you to apply to be playtesters when applications are open. If you bug test for me, then you can play the alpha content for free.

Outside of that, I take measures to protect my work as much as I can. It's not a perfect system (I don't think it's possible to make your work 100% pirating proof - if people want it badly enough, they will find a way to get it), but I know I've done as much as I can and I am content with that. I don't let it bother me. I have more important things to do with my time.

And for the people who do pirate my work - Bravo! Congratulations! It's very entertaining how petty you are.

[skania]

Aqua, Akane & Chapter 98

I had a lot of thoughts about Chapter 97 and I've got almost as many about Chapter 98. No theories though, this is just the way I personally read their interactions this chapter lol

First thing that stood out to me is how recurrent this bridge is in Aqua and Akane's big scenes.

The way they have been saving each other over and over in this very bridge is remarkable, and I'm fully expecting them to have another big scene there if Aka chooses to go down the AquaKane route.

The second thing that stood out to me is the face Aqua makes when Akane says that she thought someone pushed her down the stairs.

It's like Aqua is seeing a preview of what could happen to Akane if he allows her to keep getting involved in his revenge. It makes him beg her to stop doing dangerous things (and we recently saw him beg Ruby to stop living her life for revenge in c122).

In my c97 thoughts, I said that I feel like Akane's wording and demeanor last chapter gave away the fact that she found Aqua's dad.

I feel like c98 indirectly validates that reading, because we now see Aqua's give away the fact that he knows what Akane is up to.

In both cases, Aqua and Akane read each other like a book because they have come to know each other too well. And so, Aqua knows that Akane is about to figure out just how he managed to get there in time.

Aqua's expression here is important because we can't see his face when he begs Akane to stay safe, but we can at least see the aftermath. To me he looks sad, contrite. And the placement of the speech bubble suggests that his expression also has a lot to do with what is about to happen.

You're really sharp, Akane

This panel is one of my favorites:

Akane's sharpness is a trait Aqua has always valued in her, and now it's one of the reasons he has to walk away from her. The irony is likely not lost on him.

That pause is Aqua getting ready to act emotionless. After this point, he will only show emotion once.

It also tells me that in Chapter 97 Aqua did already know that Akane was aware of the loophole. After all, in Chapter 95, Ichigo reminds Aqua that he is smart enough to realize his dad is still alive. Since Akane is so sharp, it goes without saying that such a thing wouldn't have been lost on her.

The GPS

I have to pause here because something that broke my disbelief while reading was... how could Akane immediately tell that the tracker was in the keychain? I know she's sharp but she's no sorceress lol

Only thing that makes sense to me is assuming that the keychain was a gift from Aqua. I feel this would explain why Akane zeroes it on it right away. However, I think the actual reason is that Aka literally came up with it on the spot and we aren't supposed to think that deeply about it lmao Same goes for Aqua being able to guess Kamiki's identity based on Akane's movements. Like all we see Akane do is a) meet up with fellow Lala Lai troupers b) cross a bridge. How in the world was that enough for Aqua to narrow it down to Kamiki? Either I'm missing something, or Aka just wanted to move things along asap without bothering with the details 😂

I digress though! In any case, I know that the tracker was a deal breaker for a lot of people. Personally, it changes nothing for me because of the time period in which he planted it. Aqua says that he installed it "some time" after LoveNow ended, and the fact that he doesn't say "Some time after Tokyo Blade started" or anything along those lines suggests that it did happen before the play.

Which means, it happened back when Aqua did intend to use Akane. But the thing is, he never gets around to using her the way he intended to.

Case in point, he himself says that he thought Akane "may be able to find something out". Except he gives her the information she needs only after he thinks his revenge is already over lol

For me the actual question is when does Aqua start using that GPS?

Technically, it should be anywhere between Chapter 95 and Chapter 98, so it is possible that Aqua was already using it by Chapter 97 and that when he calls Akane, he has already been tracking her. His "Are you up to something?" can indeed lend credence to this theory depending on how you read it.

Personally though, I can't help but think that he started using it after Chapter 97. The reason being that by the beginning of Chapter 97, Aqua has every reason to guess Akane is already aware of the loophole, but he has little reason to believe Akane has found his dad. I'd argue that Akane being aware of the loophole isn't enough reason for Aqua to start using the GPS; she has been aware of it for an entire year, starting to use the GPS wouldn't change anything at that point. Their phone-call, however, does let Aqua know that Akane has likely found his dad and that she is up to something, so it gives Aqua enough reasons to start tracking her.

Regardless of when it happened, I think the GPS ironically serves to establish a clear contrast between the kind of relationship Aqua intended to have with Akane and the kind of relationship they ended up having. The GPS was there so he could use Akane as a tool, yet the GPS ends up being a tool so he can free Akane from his revenge.

That's just me as a reader, though. Akane as a character is very much bothered by the GPS and I loved every second of it.

Trust & Choices

I have to thank Aka for letting Akane explain her perspective to antis not that they will listen. It's not that Akane "is fine" being Aqua's "pet" or "his property". She very much isn't.

It's that Aqua has never made her feel that way before now. The moment when Aqua could have lied to her to string her along, Akane asks him to be honest and Aqua complies.

He doesn't tell her that he wants to use her for something, sure, but what he does say is enough for Akane to read between the lines. Akane chooses to go along with it because she trusts Aqua's intentions. Since Aqua is inherently a good, kind person, Akane trusts him and wants to help him.

So the GPS shakes Akane for two reasons. On one hand, this is the first time she hasn't had a choice in her relationship with Aqua. I'd even go as far as saying that "Choices" are part of the very foundation of their dynamic.

Back when Akane was lost, Aqua didn't push his own wants and expectations onto her. He let her make her own choice, and once she did, Aqua did everything in his power to help her. I turn, Akane tries to do the same for him throughout their relationship, but this is probably a topic for another day lol

The point is, when it comes to Aqua, Akane has been deciding for herself all along. Aqua kisses her to trap her in a relationship with him, yet confesses that he doesn't see her as a woman and thus that their relationship is fake; Akane chooses to become his girlfriend fully knowing this. Later, Aqua confesses that there is someone he wants to kill and Akane chooses to help him. Lastly, Aqua kisses her for real and Akane chooses to date him.

Each time, Akane could have walked away. Each time, Akane chooses to get closer to Aqua instead. This is why she says that if Aqua had just asked her, she would've been fine with the GPS—because she trusts him. All she asks is that he trust her in turn—and Akane believes that he does, until now.

That's the second reason why she is so distraught over this. Since Aqua plants it without asking her and doesn't come clean about it while they're dating, Akane feels like she got it wrong.

Equals

Aqua can't even look her in the eye while saying that lmao

Akane thought that she had an equal relationship with Aqua, one based on trust (and choices). As far as I'm concerned, she is right. She was (and is) his match in every sense of the word, whether intellectually or emotionally.

But it wouldn't be in Aqua's best interests to correct her. After all, he needs to walk away from Akane. The less she thinks of him and of their relationship, the better. So, he focuses on exposing Akane's contradiction instead.

Akane says that she would have helped him in any way, but would she? Now that she knows that Aqua desperately craves freedom and that his revenge would ruin him, would Akane have allowed him to pursue it?

Her thoughts and actions betray the fact that she wouldn't have wanted Aqua to choose revenge, which brings me to:

What exactly was Akane planning to do?

Given her thoughts here, it doesn't feel like Akane is focusing on what she is about to do but on the aftermath. She says that she was just planning to talk to Kamiki and that she brought the knife "just in case", and I think this may very well be the truth.

But, the thing is... that shows Akane wasn't thinking straight.

I have no doubt that being able to talk to him would've let Akane gauge the kind of person Kamiki is, but... what then? Would she just walk away, leaving a literal knife in that bouquet of flowers for him to find? That makes no sense. Was she planning to egg him on enough that he would attack her, giving her the excuse to act in self-defense? That makes more sense, but it's also a terrible plan. Anything could have gone wrong. To say Akane was being reckless would be an understatement.

Whatever it was that she was thinking of doing, she clearly didn't think it through. She was as blinded as Aqua once was by his desire to be free of his revenge. In her haste, Akane doesn't stop to think about herself and her own well-being.

Which ironically means that she misses the forest for the trees.

Because Aqua would break if something were to happen to her, even more so if he is the indirect cause of her misfortune.

Contradiction

Since Akane won't prioritize herself over Aqua, Aqua takes himself out of the equation.

Akane wants to be together with Aqua, but she'd rather shoulder his burdens on her own than seeing him suffer. Aqua wants to be together with Akane (he says so himself, he doesn't want to let go of the days when she's by his side), but he'd rather shoulder his burdens on his own than putting her in danger.

This is both funny and sad, he really isn't suited for revenge lol Aqua could have walked away, could have let Akane have that last, terrible impression of him. But he doesn't. He once again asks Akane to stop doing dangerous things, looking sad while he is at it—the second time he can't help but show emotion during their conversation.

And now it's Akane's turn to point out the way his words are at odd with his actions.

Akane made herself into the perfect tool for his revenge, all on her own. Not only is she brilliant enough to find his dad for him, she is willing to throw herself into the lion's den for him. She is even willing to potentially kill for him.

And yet, Aqua walks away from her because he can't bear the thought of Akane putting herself in danger. This alone proves that he doesn't see her as a tool.

Aqua didn't want her to carry his burden, he just wanted her to be there by his side.

Akane desperately tries to fix her mistake, to fulfill the promise of companionship that she once made him, but it's too late and she knows it.

She knows that Aqua is about to ruin himself by pursuing his revenge, and she is willing to ruin herself right alongside him just so he doesn't have to be alone, but Aqua won't let her.

After all, not letting his girlfriend die is a boyfriend's job.

Black Stars

By saying that he plans to go to hell by himself, Aqua confirms Akane's worst fears: he has taken a wrong turn. He is turning his back on happiness and freedom—on the future—and chaining himself to the lonely, bitter path of revenge—to his past.

You took a wrong turn, Akane tells him. I know, Aqua confirms as he turns away from her.

The imagery is poignant, as so is the fact that Aqua only gets his black stars after turning his back on Akane. This right here is what stood out the most to me in this chapter, because Aqua doesn't get his black stars after finding out that his father is alive—he gets them only after walking away from Akane!

Why? Because as he says so himself, his happy days were by her side. The moment Aqua walks away from her, he is knowingly giving up on the naive thought of being happy.

This is extremely important—or at least, good writing says that it should be, even more so in light of all the parallels between the way Ruby gets her Black Stars and the way Aqua gets his—and it suggest that Akane may get her wish just yet.

She desperately wanted to save him, but she went about it the wrong way. If she had told him that she found Kamiki, there is a chance they could've worked together to catch him. But Akane messed up by taking the burden upon herself instead of giving herself the weight and importance Aqua himself gives her... and now Aqua is messing up by refusing to give his life any worth and by taking the weight of revenge squarely upon his shoulders.

It's also important to note that Aqua isn't choosing revenge because he wants to, but because he feels that he has to. He feels like he has no choice.

It makes sense. After all, he has come to realize that even if he tries to go on with his life, the people he loves will try to take revenge in his stead. Ruby. Akane. Even Ichigo.

So Aqua decides to doom himself and only himself.

To wrap this up, I can't help but to bring up the chapter title, "Going Astray". After all, Akane in this chapter represents all the good Aqua is walking away from in order to choose revenge.

So all in all, I feel like the stage is set up for Aqua to be saved from this burden—and for Akane to (hopefully) play a big role in making this possible.

[p1nkwitch]

Here me out. 10 for that prompt list and Lonelyeyes.

Sorry it took me this long! Between lonelyeyes week and having to finish the good omens au, i was busy. Anyhow!! Here you go i had a fun writting this.

10.  “you died and left me on the hook for a hereditary marriage contract”

Peter was furious, he read the paper in his hand, over and over again, till eventually he crumpled it in his hands and put it inside his pocket. He quickly put on his coat and went to the Magnus Institute at a quick pace. 

The letter had been clear, there was no line that he could use to escape, no loophole. He even called his uncle on the way there, wanting to check just in case, but Nathaniel merely let out a sigh and told him it was in fact a clause that Mordechai had signed up with Jonah Magnus many years ago. It just so happened that no other head of the institute had any need to call upon it till now. James Wright instilled his right to it and now Peter was seemingly stuck. Cursing loudly he hangs up on his uncle telling him to keep it cool.

When he finally arrives at the building, he takes no time at all to make his way to the office of the new head of the place. Elias Bouchard.

Peter had liked James, in fact he had fancied him quite a bit, before his death, the two of them had a bit of a relationship. Which was fine by him, Peter came and went to the sea and back to land to spend some time with James whom he held fond feelings for. Quite…romantic in kind in all honesty.

He flushes just thinking about it. Unfortunately they were still working for opposing forces, therefore they were very prone to fights, so in his last trip, they got into a big one. Things were said. Peter left to simmer on his feelings for the next ten months, expecting to get back to James with a cool head. Unfortunately by the time he did come back he was informed the man was dead and he missed the funeral as well.

It really just…well it shook him quite badly, enough that he refused to go to the institute at all to meet the new head of the place. Telling Nathaniel he was done with it and to find someone else.

That of course didn't seem to work for long, because now he got this stupid bloody letter!

Peter grumbles but he struggles to remember where the office is, he tends to get lost easily in the stupid building and the sensation of being watched made him feel sick, enough that it distracted him too much to properly know his location. Eventually he finds someone from staff who points him to the right direction and so he finds himself in front of James' office.

Rosie tries to stop him but he starts to use the lonely when she picks up her phone and tells him after a few seconds that Elias shall see him. He quickly enters and closes the door behind him.

The man in front of him was sitting behind his desk with a set of glasses that were slightly sliding off his nose, they were red rimmed, which contrasted a lot with his dark gray suit.

“Ah, Mr. Lukas I was not expecting you today, what can I do for you sir?” 

He almost deflates. Elias was at most a couple of years younger than Peter, maybe barely hitting his thirties. He was shorter than him, which he noticed when the man stood up and pointed to the seat in front of him. The feeling of being seen was present so at least the man knew what he was or James picked someone with promise for the spot.

Thinking of James makes his head hurt for a very specific reason.

“What you can do is get rid of this” He takes the crumpled paper from his pocket and slams it on the desk, sliding it towards Elias who picks it up and reads it. His eyebrows raise till eventually he looks up at him with a blank expression.

“This is a bit of a surprise to be honest, but unfortunately…i can't do anything about it. I legally cannot undo the contract”

Peter chest burns.

“You cannot expect me to think its ok for James to pawn me off to you! We aren't in the 18 or early 19 century. We don't arrange arranged marriages anymore!”

Elias makes a sort of motion with his hand. “Maybe not here but its technically not-”

Peter glares at him. “I'm not going to marry you because James lost his mind before he died” He doesn't like looking people in the eyes, it's horrendous, instead Peter stares at the spot between their eyes. This is why he notices how Elias' expression turns pinched and his mouth turns slightly downwards at his outburst.

“Mr.Wright was under all his faculties before his untimely demise Mr.Lukas. A heart attack is a heart attack, not a reason to question his sanity. Albeit its quite the shock that he thought about this. He did mention you to me, as he was training me. I presumed you two were close from the way he spoke of you…very hm, yes fond”

Peter shivers and steps back feeling that horrible sensation of eyes raking over his skin, of being known.

“Knock it off. He did not-”

But Elias nods and walks around the desk to stand in front of him.

“He did, I was very curious about what sort of person he would talk so fondly of, you know? Ah it was a pity when i found out you were quitting your place as the representative of your family, i wanted to meet you. Albeit of course also not under this circumstances”

Peter feels a mix between shame and…and he is not sure. Especially as Elias' hands landed on his coat's lapel, he was fixing up his lapels and letting his hands linger for a bit. Making his skin crawl and his face burn. Elias is handsome. He will give him that, he also has sharp eyes, the same color as James too, a very cool shade of gray.

Still-!

“Listen, I'm not the sort of person you get to know, that's not how I work, but even less so…I don't do arranged marriages! Why would James even think this is a good idea to begin with at all?!” Elias tilts his head and says he doesn't know.

“But it's not such a bad thing isn't it?”

Peter gapes at him.

“What?”

Elias smirks at him, his lip slightly lifting upwards, it was both very nice on his face but also very insufferable.

“Take it as an opportunity, besides i talked to Nathaniel on the phone and he was mentioning something about you perhaps soon having to find a wife, since you were now no longer doing business with the Institute” Peter didn't know-

His face burns in shame about this little bastard knowing so much about him and yet Peter had nothing on him. “He wouldn't-”

A tap on the chest makes him look down at Elias. What a…handsome devil.

“But he would, now as I said, you can call this a blessing in disguise. Arranged as it is, we can make this work. You still travel, and leave for most of the year as you Lukas tend to do. I'm busy and I don't have time to dwell too much in relationships, they all bring me headaches. So…a transaction if you may. A marriage in name but its more of a…collaboration if you will?”

Swallowing a bit he asks carefully what that would entail. Elias smirk gets more wicked and there is something on the way he does it that just tickles the back of his brain. There is something so very…familiar in the motion.

“Well, for one, I do not like your replacement, I can tell you that right now. Conrad is a prick” Peter can't help but snort and smile just a bit, a hint really.

“Yes, that tracks”

Elias' eyes flutter and Peter has to look elsewhere, he is handsome, so what? Peter is still placed in a binding contract between entities and a marriage that he never asked for.

“Still what else? I want to win something out of this whole farce”

Elias walks around him like a predator measuring up with their prey, it makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

“Well, I only want some time to talk, perhaps dinner if you may. It is a marriage, perhaps not conventional or legal yet, but one made by our predecessors and bound by our entities. Quite the thing isn't it? As for you, well, what is more lonely than this? A marriage with no love?”

It is true, but that's not…

What fuels his loneliness is not the complete lack of something, but an absence. Peter is lonely because there is something to miss. An empty relationship as miserable of an affair as that is, doesn't feed his patron at all, because its not making him lonely, just miserable. Fun for a watcher not for Forsaken.

“I'm afraid you are going to need something else to sell it out to me, Mr.Bouchard. That's not how it works for me”

“Oh? And how is that then? Aren't you sad about what happened to Mr. Wright? Isn't it lonely enough to be married to someone else than the person you actually…cared about?” He was sure he was going to say love, in that case Peter would have just sent Elias to the lonely. Clenching his fists he tells him through clenched teeth to watch it.

Elias' eyes narrow and his expression turns wicked.

“Why? Isn't it the truth? Mr.Wright was fond of you but i'm sure he got over it quickly when you left him”

Peter stares and then grabs him by the tie, gripping it tightly as Elias smiles at him. “Grinning little freak, shut up”

“Perhaps that was what did it, you wore down his heart” Peter face twitches and Elias eyes seem to drink it all in. 

“I am going to get rid of this little contract, after all who cares if you are dead right?”

The beholder laughs and grips his wrist tightly with a hand as he leans so close to his face Peter has to step back, yet Elias follows.

“Do that, and I will shove so many memories of other people's lives and their thoughts about you that you will turn into a blubbering mess Peter dear, don't test me. Im being kind darling”

The niggling sensation on the back of his brain intensifies, the tone, the posture, the bossiness.

The eyes.

“Well, its a good thing i dont give a shit about James, he was a douchebag and he had a horrible sense of fashion too, you on the other hand have a nicer look” Elias face turns outraged for a second too long, his eyebrows twitching in consternation. Peter grips him by the jaw. “What the fuck James?!”

His expression turns blank and then resigned before going to be amused. “I suppose I gave my hand away too early, huh? Hello Peter” Oh he is going to kill him for sure. “Oh sod off, you won't”

“Stop messing with my head!”

“Stop making it so easy darling. Put some more effort into shielding those thoughts. Now, about that marriage-”

Peter headbuts him. “You fuck-” Elias is grabbing his forehead, his expression turned into that of outrage. “What is your blood problem-”

“My problem?! You died and left me on the hook for a hereditary marriage contract!!! What the hell is wrong with you! What- How are you alive, what is this? What the bloody hell is going on!”

Things devolve for a while, mostly into Elias explaining while looking sour that he was in fact Jonah Magnus, that he swaps bodies, that he changed his and when Peter did not come to meet his new body he had to find a way to drag him back. He was going to wait till there was a founding party, but Nathaniel did in fact talk about making Peter find a wife soon and Elias…

Oh Elias was possessive. Peter could see it in the way he described his plan and the way he grabbed onto him as they sat on the small loveseat in his office. The way his hands touched him and his lips curved up in smirks that had him flush.

“So I invoked the right to pass you along, honestly Mordechai and I were really drunk when we made that clause back then. Neither of us were actually thinking clearly, it was a wild weekend. What can I say? When you mix your vices and bring in your friends..”

“Ugh, can we not- I dont want to know how you fucked my grandfather. That's just gross”

“Pity”

He glares as a warning so Elias lifts his hands in surrender.

“So…”

Peter holds his face in defeat. “I'm not marrying you. Not now”

There is a long pause, Peter knows what his words mean, the implications. Elias probably can see it too, is likely smirking like the Cheshire cat. 

“Now?”

“Just- just shut up would you? Just…” Peter doesn't want to marry, not now, not like this, let alone not when he is processing a lot of information that he is trying to be cool with in such a short amount of time. “Let me think”

“Be my guest”

Like this he just tries to sort his thoughts and what he found out and eventually he reckons, the best course of action is to keep going as they were. For now at least. “I'm going to continue to work, and drop by to…talk about business”

Elias' expression is guarded, Peter rubs his own jaw deep in thought, the cons about this whole thing are growing, are exponential, this whole thing is wrong and will have dire consequences for him.

Yet the pros….

Well Peter was a gambler at heart. What's life without a bit of spice? Without a bit of a spark to make things interesting? Elias, James, Jonah or whatever he wants to call himself is his spark of chaos. Painful as it is to admit it.

“Dinner? Your place or mine”

He can see the momentary surprise at the acceptance. Soon it flickers into smugness, but Peter brushes it off. 

“Oh? Is that so-”

“Well yes, I haven't gone out with Elias Bouchard yet, perhaps i don't like him, perhaps you are…boring, or perhaps you are interesting enough to keep around. Maybe to even stay over at my flat”

Elias' face is wild. “Maybe i find you boring instead”

Yet Peter shakes his head in fond exasperation. “If you did, you wouldn't have basically trapped both of us into an arranged marriage under the suspicion that I would soon find a wife. So, dinner this friday? Your treat this time since you basically almost made my blood pressure burst”

The chuckle is a mockery, but it suits Elias and its…he has a lovely voice. Charming and low and makes something twist on his gut.

“I can live with that. For now we can be engaged, that at least will keep your family off your back, isn't that great?”

Lord.

“You are so horrible” Elias' hand touches his cheek.

“I am and yet here you are?” 

Here is indeed. Peter tilts his head to brush his lips against his palm, he can see pink on his cheeks for the first time and he really is starting to like the idea of figuring Elias out. He seems more expressive than James. With a hum he leans downwards and kisses him.

Its different but also familiar. He feels arms wrap around his neck and when the kiss deepens a bit too much, Peter retreats and starts to drift into the lonely to meditate a bit about this whole thing.

“Asshole”

Peter laughs this time at the pout on Elias' lips when he begins to slip away from his grasp. “Pot and kettle you utter insane bastard. I'm going to try and process the whole 200 year old dandy thing, now, see you on friday Mr.Bouchard”

Peter is almost gone when he hears him say goodbye.

“-Mr.Lukas, its a pleasure to meet my new fiance”

Peter's face burns all of a sudden as Elias gets the last word in before laughing at him.

Horrible man! 

Yet…it does serve him well.

Enough that in a few years he will propose to him properly this time, with rings and a silly post it note to seal the deal. Curse him for being charming and a bastard, he is weak to such things.

[chronicbeans]

Dr. Randolph with a GN Reader in place of the Player (part 2):

TW: Captivity

Waking up, you frantically look around the room. You half expect to see the loophole, but your dreams are crushed when it is nowhere to be found. Then, the crumbled pieces of your dreams are thrown right into the fire when you realized that you seem to be strapped securely to a bed of some sort. The walls of this area look familiar in a way you don't like. A dingy yellowish color, with brightly lit windows that seem to look out to nowhere in particular...

"Ah, it's good that you are awake. I was beginning to think I gave you too much anesthesia..."

Your head whips over to the right, seeing none other than Dr. Randolph, himself. His dark eyes seem to gleam when you look at him, despite the fact that your expression should make it clear that you hold nothing but disdain for the man. The first thing you do is spit out "What do you want from me? Is it still my liver? Did you really go so far just to get my liver?"

He has that gall to laugh, as if you just told the joke of the century, before saying "You really think I would go that far. No, dear. I have a much different reason for all this. For now, though, just stay there and don't worry your pretty little head with that."

You flinch as he pats your head, your disdain growing at that condescending tone of his. As much as you want to make a venomous comeback to him, you need to think rationally. This man has you at his mercy, at the moment, and you do not seem to be in immediate danger of getting another needle dug into your neck. The best course of action is to stay calm, right? Placate him, maybe.

You silently watch him walk out of whatever room you are in, his movements no longer holding that confidence you saw before. He may be acting smug and condescending, but you can see that something you have done has shaken him up. Literally, mind you, as his hands are shaking slightly as he closes the door.

You take the opportunity to take another look around the room. It looks like the one that you found yourself in after first getting caught by Dr. Randolph, when you trusted him to help you, only to be betrayed. Small, brightly lit by the windows, and pretty cramped in a way. The only real difference is that the bed seems to be different, as well as the chair placed next to it. Looking down at yourself, you see leather straps wrapped around you, tying you down to the bed tightly. You can barely lift your arms or even move them away from your torso, much less sit up in bed. You don't see any clear escape routes, yet.

Dr. Randolph returns rather quickly, holding a cup of coffee in his hands. He seems a lot calmer than before, his hands no longer shaking as he sits in the chair next to you. He takes a sip, before saying "You seem calmer, now. Are you finally ready to talk without that harsh tone you had?" "Fine. Don't expect me to say much, though."

He looks down at his cup for a moment as he begins talking "I am sure you want to know why I brought you here, yes? The truth is, even I am not so sure, anymore. I used to believe it was entirely me wanting to prevent you from getting out of here. There are so many things that will happen if you, or anyone in here for that matter, escapes Heilwald. You most likely don't even know that you leaving will destroy the loopholes, do you?"

Your eyes widen, before you subconsciously shake your head. He lets out a half-hearted chuckle, before continuing "You will need to find a way to destroy the loopholes to leave. Then, by destroying the loopholes, you will destroy ME. I am... unsure about what will happen to the rest of us, but I know that I will be dead once you destroy those loopholes and escape. I can't have that happen. That's when I decided to go after you and try to stop you. However, I feel like that reasoning has changed. It is still a part of it, of course. Like most everybody else, I don't want to die. I really don't want to die... But it isn't the entire reason, anymore."

You sigh, looking him in the eyes. He looks conflicted about something. You ask "What is the new reason, then?" He hesitates, before smiling and shaking his head. "Even I don't know. For now, I'll take care of you. You don't have to worry about a thing."

[deripmaver]

I'm so happy to find another Casca Apostle hater™. Like it's so weird to find people who think it'll give Casca more narrative agency when it means she'd work for Griffith of all people. Not only that but it's part of this annoying trend where people ignore the fact that Casca is a good person. Casca was able to admit Guts was right to warn Griffith about that burning fort after the timeskip, didn't let Corkus kill him, wished that they could work together without fighting all the time and told Guts that Griffith needed him. If Casca can be that respectful to someone she hated then why in the hell would anyone expect her to sacrifice someone she loves??? She wouldn't do that, especially now that she doesn't idolize Griffith anymore. Even in Golden Age Judeau noticed Casca soften up to the point where she wasn't willing to sacrifice everyone for Griffith anymore and during the Eclipse Casca is not only angrier about this betrayal than Guts (which isn't much lol) but she tries to stop Judeau from sacrificing himself for her. She loves people too much to put them through anything like the Eclipse and she always has.

YESSSSS ANON EXACTLY!!!!! it just does not fit with anything in casca's character up to now. the thought of her sacrificing anyone, and condemning them to the same fate as the hawks, which we know she feels immense survivors guilt about*, would be completely ooc.

i want to hear more from casca's POV about her feelings on her lack of agency as elaine, and now as griffith's captive in falconia, and i do think that reclaiming her agency is hugely important, but doing so by becoming an apostle???

also yeah afaik our understanding of apostles is that their powers are granted by the god hand, of which griffith is a part of, and since she can't even think of the eclipse without going completely catatonic the idea that she'd willingly work with griffith even just to get powers is....... insane. and so sick lol. what kind of rape apologist do u have to be to think that's a positive outcome for her? someone did point out to me that because she's branded, and because miura kind of made up the rules as he went along, maybe she could be granted apostle powers without needing to sacrifice someone through a weird magic loophole LOL but of course that's complete speculation

but yeah i hate the apostle casca theory so much LOL ty for being sane anon

*it's not called survivor's guilt obviously but so far in canon thinking of judeau's death caused a severe ptsd flashback, and in 372 she started crying when the falconia knights reminded her of the band of the hawk, so her feeling distress when remembering her fallen comrades is pretty obvious

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

This post has been making the rounds on jumblr and I've had a few different reactions so I just wanna weigh into some things here.

First up:

Jews I love you and I'm so glad that this little thoughtramble I wrote a month ago resonated with so many of you. I hope it helps with educating some people on just how widespread and insidious antisemitism is.

Secondly: I'm a gentile so I'm by no means an authority on these things. But a couple fellow gentiles in the notes are saying stuff along the lines of, "but can't we criticise billionnaires?"

To which I say, watch where you step, cus you're on thin ice. I've learned a litte the past few years and here's my conclusions:

Of course a lot of stuff a lot of billionnaires do is reprehensible. On the left we should absolutely be criticising them! The best way to do this while avoiding antisemitism is to be specific about who you're criticising, and what for.

E.g. "The people running Exxon, Shell and BP have been sweeping climate change under the rug for decades while actively contributing it, they think their profits are more important than sustaining life on earth and that's abhorrent. We need better laws and processes to stop them from poisoning the planet."

E.g. "Elon Musk is a ridiculous manchild who's ruining Twitter and endangering people with his self driving cars and stupid ideas. He's an entitled dickhead and his wealth is mostly derived from colonial exploitation that his parents did. He does not pay enough taxes on what he earns. We need better inheritance laws and to close tax loopholes that allow him and people like him to hoard wealth."

E.g. "Jeff Bezos exploits his workers and has an unfair monopoly over online shopping and other convenience services. He needs to pay his taxes and pay his workers more and we need better monopoly laws to stop businesses from being able to control the market like this."

Also, please consider your motives:

Are you trying to make a positive difference for, e.g. Amazon workers? Go ahead, raise awareness of their plight and push for unionisation.

Are you just trying to find a group that is acceptable to hate? Stop right there and reconsider. No matter how privileged or powerful that supposed group, you're wayyyyyy too close to bigoted talking points.

Are you just making sweeping statements in order to rile up emotions and get people on your side? That's fascist tactics. Please don't.

And especially,

If you find yourself wanting to say, "I'm not antisemitic, but--" Please just don't say whatever you were going to say. If you have to make that qualification, there is an extremely high probability that what you're about to say is, in fact, very antisemitic. Compare to "I'm not racist but-" or "I'm not transphobic but-" followed by the most vile bigotry you've ever heard. Don't be that person.

Lastly I want to highlight these as well:

Absolutely correct. The amount of times I've come across online bigots who are like "George Soros is funding BLM!" or "LGBTs are elites trying to plunge this country into immorality!" This is all antisemitism. In general just be wary of anyone wanting to blame "elites" or "rich people" (yeah even that one cus historically Jews are stereotyped to have money!!! and also not all rich ppl are inherently evil!!!!) or "shadow government" or "globalists" or "lizard people" or really, literally anything that seems to imply that a small, select group of people is secretly running the world: That's antisemitism baby. It's all antisemitism. It's disgustingly common.

By all means, criticise billionnaires. But be specific. It's one of the best ways to make sure it's not veering into antisemitism. We know who these billionnaires are, for the most part; we know their names and we know their crimes. Talk about them specifically.

It doesn't help if you just swap out "elites" with "billionnaires" or "the 1%" if the rest of your rhetoric remains the same. It sounds exactly the same to antisemites, and they will feel empowered. In truth, it is much more complicated than "billionnaires are running the world and fucking us all over"; some billionnaires are using their fortune for good, and they don't directly cause our problems - they may exploit a system that was set up long before they were born, sure, but your problems are also caused by Sue from accounting and your neighbour ratting you out to the authorities and that kid across the road yelling slurs at you. Your problems exist because society lets them exist, and that includes everyone. The system makes it hard to fight this, and sure, most billionnaires don't help the issue. But again if you're just looking for someone to hate on, it's very likely you're actually reinforcing oppression rather than "punching up".

Sweeping statements are dangerous and a lot of your talking points have been used to justify genocide in the past. Just cus the world's been a lil less overt about its antisemitism post-Holocaust, does not mean antisemitism has disappeared, far from it. And it's being revived at an alarming rate just now so please, Gentiles, pay attention to what the dogwhistles look like and don't reinforce harmful stereotypes.

Thank you.

PS: A few blogs that have helped me unlearn and unpack antisemitism are @spacelazarwolf, @hadeantaiga and @gehe-lihiyot-androgynos-varda with a special shout out to @softness-and-shattering for being very patient with me rambling about jewish/antisemitism related stuff in dms. Youre all soooo great n I appreciate you soooo much <3

There's also lots of Jewish ppl in the notes of this post, I'm sure a lot of them have lovely blogs to follow.

There's some reading recs in the notes as well:

Jews Don't Count by David Baddiel,

People Love Dead Jews by Dara Horn,

The Holocaust: A New History by Laurence Rees

I haven't read these books myself, I've read a preview of Jews Don't Count and it's on my list of books to order when I have more money, but basically, go look at what actual Jewish folks have written on the subject, I'm just a random Gentile who doesn't like bigotry so don't take it just from me.

me a few years ago: its so weird how right wingers always wanna blame the "elite" given that alot of them are in the global 1% of wealth and therefore almost by definition the same "elite" they claim to hate. weird right? lol right wing logic makes no sense

me now: oh my god they mean Jewish people. its always been Jewish people. and the insistence of online leftists to use words like "elite" and "cabal" (to refer to a handful of ultra rich people who dictate a lot of how our lives are run) kinda makes them sound like antisemites too. maybe this whole idea that the world is run by a select few is a gross oversimplification which only serves to reinforce antisemitic stereotypes... oh no. maybe i have a lot of shit to unlearn. maybe i need to start vocally defending Jewish ppl. also local community building is the only way out of this

[icharchivist]

Oh, can I complain about something then?

This whole "destiny is fixed" thing from the Remake reminds me of the "fixed causality" they keep bringing up in GB Versus Rising

Lucilius can't beat Djeeta head-on because she beat him before, meanwhile he will always triumph over Beelzebub because he's beaten him before. This is mentioned multiple times in the story

It's determinism all the way down, it doesn't matter if you train, if you beat someone before and face them again, you will win anyway, even if you don't put in any effort

Now, Lucilius himself does mention that this is "lazy" and another sign that God can't be bothered with His creation

But imo it's so dumb

It feels pointless, just something to waffle endlessly about, but it destroys the concept of free will and it's sooo boring

You're welcome to disagree with me, but I personally hate this and I choose to ignore it

Totally, you can definitely complain, and i 100M agree with you.

I think like... stories about fates really need to be threaded carefully if you're going to do it, and understand that Fate, ultimately, is extremely rooted in tragedy in the Epic sense of, there is no other way it could have gone, the odds are against your favor from a God like perspective.

So unless you really have something to say about the cruelty of Gods, it's kinda unwelcomed, and it's especially unwelcomed imo when there are extremely antithetical themes in the center of the story you're reading about.

I think it doesn't work with ff7 for various reasons, one of which that one of the major theme of ff7 to me is "grief and the major negative impact of denial" or "you can't deny what happened to you because you're stopping yourself from healing and making yourself susceptible to being hurt even more instead", and it's why i find it extremely jarring to add a plotline about fate on top of that, where the whole thing is about "do not deny the hardships" and then when the remake ends up getting rid of the Specters it's so it can go "tee hee maybe things will go different this time ;3c", because the remake is forcing you in the situation of having to be in denial about the direction the game should take if it adapted the OG faithfully. If it's meant to add to the theme itself, i think it's just. genuinely insulting to insert it just to manipulate your audience because you don't trust the Original Plot to do it for you.

Granblue is in the same bag for me, and it's why, despite liking Cosmos' event, i really disliked the idea that the Singularity Can't Die Else It'll Cause An Apocalypse. I find it so damn jarring especially in the realm of how much of Granblue is about Free Will (that it's the main thematic linked to any Primal Beasts especially).

I think Orologia's event managed to balance this idea more on showing how the butterfly effect would affect things and all, and even there the Singularity managed to break from the fate Orologia had seen, and this is how you can deal with fate in a way that's interesting.

but Versus and the "Singularity Can't Die" plotpoints seem antithetical to the way Free Will shows itself.

And now with the addition of Sahar's FE recently about how his biggest crime was to refuse the Skydwellers from their Free Will, taking it away, the fact it is a Set Thing in the Versus Verse is just extremely jarring and i think goes against the way the themes have been built in GBF.

Stories about Fate CAN be done interestingly. I think FF15 for instance work it in a very interesting way because it starts out with a prophecy about the King of Light, who will bring the light again on a world that fell into darkness, and as the world is falling to darkness and Noctis takes on this path he's been propheticized, once it's too late and only then will the Gods make clear that they made the whole thing up and that they specifically made matter worse on purpose to punish the mortals who tried to find a loophole to their prophecies, and therefore you feel the fate as being the cruel game of the Gods itself. It can work well for tragedies like that. But it has to be baked into the plot itself (a Prophecy generally works) and the Gods at play being capricious beings who are the ones setting things into motion, and you're left having no choice but playing your part to finish it.

But ultimately, i think this level of Fate is totally antithetical to FF7 and GBF in particular and i find it jarring the ways they try to shove it into plots where it shouldn't exist.

[thedilucharem]

"Huh? Taxes?"

Inspired by a fierce need to keep my mood as alleviated as possible and thoughts about how they view taxes as well as some speculative world-building as per usual. Written in one shot as beta is for cowards. Borders on crack, but I attempt to keep the authenticity of the characters alive.

One evening in Spirit's Keep . . .

Beidou: (slightly buzzed, wipes her upper lip of beer) Did I ever tell you about the time I was tax-exempt because I was clinically dead for over two minutes?

Childe: (pauses, asking in disbelief) What?

Beidou: (casually) Yeah, I get it, Liyue's tax laws get really weird once you start really thinking about them. I think you can still get tax-exempt if you're brain-dead for more than two weeks though, right?

Zhongli: (nods, holding his teacup) I believe so.

Childe: (to himself) What the actual fuck?

Zhongli: (did not hear him or did not care) This exemption was originally written into law as some individuals during the times of the Cataclysm did indeed die, but were able to come back to life through certain means and circumstances. (pondering) I believe they were legally referred to as 'the undead', though I can't think of many extreme examples like those that would apply to today's age.

Beidou: Yeah, and the loophole doesn't work even anymore either since a couple folks in the Qixing patched it up. (elbows Childe lightly, jokingly) So don't go trying to die on me, eh?

Childe: . . . would a Snezhnayan even get one of those exemptions?

Beidou: (shrugs) Probably not, as you ain't from here and they tax you different over there.

Childe: (under his breath) That was a rhetorical question. (to Diluc) Comrade, does Mondstadt have anything like that in your taxes?

Diluc: (simply) I don't pay taxes. No one in Mondstadt does.

Childe: (stupefied) Huh?

Diluc: (sighs while putting his grape juice down) Due to Mondstadt's history and recent events, the Church of Barbatos sees tax collection as 'heresy' and will actively put a stop to any attempts like it that start to pop up.

Childe: . . . But how does that even work with how your public stuff is set up?

Diluc: (matter-of-factly) Citizens are encouraged to donate and most of them do so happily. The wealthier families see it as some sort of 'honor' to fill the coffers, though it's more for the sake of tradition than anything.

Childe: And you do too?

Diluc: (coolly) My time, service, and contributions are more than payment enough.

That is a resounding no.

Childe: (slowly) . . . sure. (to Itto) And you?

Itto: Hmm? (looks up from a half-painted figurine, paintbrush in hand) What's up?

Childe: (curiously) Your taxes, comrade. How do you do them?

Itto: (genuinely) What are taxes?

Zhongli and Beidou promptly spray their respective drinks through their nostrils in surprise and shock while Diluc fishes out a handkerchief for each of them, shocked, but certainly not surprised.

Childe just becomes more numb than he looks.

Diluc: (frowns, somewhat concerned) You don't know what taxes are?

Itto: (quickly becoming indignant) What? Am I supposed to know what they are? Does it have something to do with fines or whatever?

Beidou: (chokes back her shocked laughter, blowing into the handkerchief) I mean . . . kind of, I think?

Childe: (exhales deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose) You've been alive for this long, and yet you have no idea . . . (in disbelief) How are you not in prison?

Itto: Huh? Prison? But I didn't do anything!

Zhongli: (coolly, recovered) Consider the fact that he has a deputy that likely takes care of that for him in place of himself.

Try telling me that Shinobu isn't certified in personal taxes for this specific reason.

Childe: Oh. That makes plenty of sense, actually. At least, I think so. Most other people probably do their taxes themselves, right?

Beidou: Pfft. Not me, that's for sure.

Mora-Grubber is a god at finding loopholes in tax law.

Diluc: If I have the time.

Elzer does them and that's only for exporting.

Childe: Yeah . . . I don't do mine either.

Snezhnayan bureaucracy is good at their jobs.

Itto: (nudges Zhongli's shoulder with his own, back to painting his figurine) What about you, Gramps?

Zhongli: (sips his tea, smoothly) I don't believe I've ever had to worry about that.

Hu Tao had the foresight to hire an accountant and they advised her to set aside the part of his paycheck meant for his taxes.

---

I find the idea of Mondstadters hating taxes due to the implications of a higher class of people doing it to them to be hilarious. There's also a certain strangeness the outsider attributes to the children of Liyue talking about taxes as if that's a normal thing to discuss. Itto does have an idea of money being 'taken' for certain reasons, but Shinobu has yet to break that down for him. Childe just trusts the system.

I can offer no further explanation other than because I can and because I wanted to.

[kenxmatsui]

"Pressure?" he questioned when she spoke, "Christ, Leyla... how did you end up at that?" He listened to her reasons a little longer before moving to close the gap himself, nudging her hands loose so he could hold it instead, "Give me a bit of warning before you move and take away your warmth from me, okay? I don't like the cold." He shook his head, "Tired doesn't mean sleepy," Ken added, and rather than leaving it that like he had wanted to since he could not articulate his thoughts properly, attempts were being made to string together more words to explain on this further, "I don't know how to put it, but it's everything. I'm tired of watching people I care for get hurt, tired of not being able to do anything... just tired of feeling actually. I'm not used to this. Can we just lie here for now?" Though he said that, he followed it by somewhat giving in, "You know it's damn near impossible to resist you, so if you want candles and wine and all that, we can." And somehow find self control to not speak. "I don't want to keep disappointing you."

He shrugged, "It's both. I care about you. Worry, concern, love, aren't limited to just one aspect, everything is taken into account. I know that it can come across as overbearing, I'll try to make it less so but the way I care for you will not decrease." He returned the squeeze, "That was a pivotal point for me as well, to know someone genuinely cared and could be so gentle, you saved me in more ways than one that night and forever since." His voice grew deep and serious not too long after, "I know it's beyond my control but if something were to happen to you again, Rohan will most certainly have to sedate or even stake me, there'll be very little else that'll stop me from burning this town down." He didn't want to imagine it, couldn't, not without anger bubbling up. Shifting focus to concentrate on her soothing voice, nodding in agreement, "Together through the bad and the good," he repeated, words falling with ease yet with great difficulty too since it sounded far too close to for better or worse.

"He can be stubborn sometimes, but yes we can help him out... Wait, you did?" he asked, surprise lacing his tone, "Well, sure yes reckless, but honestly I wish you told me mostly so I could've come with you. Even after they cordoned the manor off, I was trying getting to get in with some loophole. I still find the sheriff's department useless but with it being a crime scene and all, I couldn't properly justify it." Him being a stickler for rules was extremely inopportune at times. "Where you in there long? Did you go into the cellar to get that wine? Did you see anything else?" Questions rolled out before he could stop himself but Ken eventually did pause, "Sorry sorry...don't feel the need to answer those, I just can't stop thinking that there's something we're all missing."

Halting that train of thought from taking off again, he went back to the part where she said her and Dilan had an argument, something that did not come as a surprise but what did was Leyla saying she wasn't needed, a scoff rose to the surface in answer, "I assure you Dilan did not need or want me in that moment. She needed you. I was not nice, usually am not but in that moment, despite me trying to be less harsh given the circumstances, her tantrums irked me a great deal." While they did manage to talk, Ken did not know of it did any good, all that stuck was Dilan's insistence to want to feel pain. "You're who she needs even if she has a shit way of showing it, but in saying that you're not wrong for not wanting see her do that herself, you've faced it before, you shouldn't have to do that time and again. I'm not good at giving advice on anything but maybe you can leave her be for a bit? Even if it's hard to do. I'm doing that with Haru." Those last few words came quietly, a fact he didn't want to think on but that wouldn't stop the inevitable. "I ran into Haru not long after they came to town, pure coincidence really but it felt like fate. Had to tell them then, didn't have much choice they thought me dead. Not entirely wrong, though. I went to see them after everything too...Haru is going to leave town." He wasn't going to stop that, he hadn't when they were kids, couldn't now as adults not if it meant Haru could be a little bit safer outside the mirage and without him complicating things.

With a sigh he sat up a little too, "I don't think you're fragile nor do I sugar coat things. We've had arguments, you became frustrated numerous times with me due to my bluntness and the way I say things. It's not easy for me to talk about stuff like this and often times I don't want to but you can't say I don't talk to you because you're one of the only people I'm this open with, one of the only I willingly want to share anything with." He looked to her with somewhat of a resigned look, gaze eventually falling, unsure as to why she thought that but not letting silence fill the pause lest she think he was shutting her out or some such thing, Ken took a slow breathe in, "I didn't want to talk about it after everything you've seen and said on how you felt but if you want to know why I keep the numbness in me it's because it keeps me alive. It sounds fucked up and in some way it is, but the truth is I'm someone that didn't die when I should have. Even after multiple attempts I'm still here." He began to feel it, the way his mind was pulling back reigns on his speech, attempting to reel the words back to the far corners of his mind but he pushed through for her, "Don't get me wrong, I'm starting to see worth to this life now because I get to live it with you, but when I didn't have you, I had anger and apathy, they kept me going and numbness was the balm that comforted me. I don't want to be rid of it. I don't who I would be without it."

Closing his eyes briefly after that, fists involuntarily curled as he let the words, let the vocal admittance, sink in. Despite having come to the conclusion in the confinements of his mind, it was another thing entirely to speak it, while he wasn't sure how exactly that would affect him but he was sure it would in some way because those thoughts he had ignored began to rise again. For now, however, he looked to her again, thumb slowly brushing over her cheek as he inched a little closer, "I know it'll be different for you because you're not me. You're better. So, just trust me on this one. Things might not feel quite real, but it will fade for you, you won't let the linger." It only on purpose did he let the feeling fester, it rooted and rotted within him because he allowed it.

"How can being a star be a punishment? The question was posed more as a thought being spoken out loud than anything as he cast a glance skywards to the twinkling lights above, unable to figure out why exactly that was the case. But of course, at the end of the day they were just giant balls of gas, humans were the ones to assign patterns and stories to these thinking them to mean something they were not.Mapping the sky for navigation purposes he understood more than fanciful tales of tragedies. His interest had only piqued forth from spending time with Leyla, her love for them caused him to want to know more, and while did appreciate them a little more than before Ken knew he did not posses the wistful nature she had when peering up. "I suppose so," he tacked on as she explained, "I never really paid attention to such myths and legends. Until finding out creatures like me existed as those cautionary tales." Even after that discovery he hadn't cared much for stories, just accepted that this was his new fate. "Maybe humanity did itself a disservice with all the tragedies."

"Oh," She gave him a small nod. Though, as he mentioned it had been five or six months since he had smoked, the corner of her lips lifted into a soft smile. Her lips grazed across his cheek as if to congratulate him, even if he did only take a step back from it on her behalf.

"You didn't," She attempted to reassure him as she scooted a tiny bit closer to him, though sliding her hands underneath herself in an attempt to keep them to herself. "I'm just trying to be respectful is all," She promised him. "You don't want to do anything tonight and I don't want to pressure you into anything. So, I'm just trying to keep my hands to myself is all," She admitted, motioning down to her hands tucked underneath her as if to demonstrate. "But, if you really are tired, then we could always call it early and go to bed?" She offered up optimistically, scooting closer once more as if offering that they could cuddle if he did want to just curl up in bed or maybe sneak off together in the dreamscape. Though, a part of her had a feeling that wasn't what he meant when he said he was tired to begin with.

"Oh," She gave him a small nod. Her hands sneaking out from under her as she hesitantly reached out to hook her pinkie through his and give him hand a small squeeze. "I thought when you said you were worried you meant about me as in my mental wellbeing, not on my behalf," She mumbled out. Her cheeks flushing red in embarrassment at the misunderstanding as she tried to make it clear to him where her demeanor shift had come about from. "But, it's okay. We didn't know each other all that well back then and, as scary as that was, I think," She snuck a peek up at him as she gave his pinkie another small squeeze. "I didn't how much you meant to me until I thought I was going to lose you?" She admitted quietly. "Just, god forbid anything happens down the line, just know that whatever you're going through, I'm right there with you and vice a versa, so while you might want to feel the pain in the moment, you're not the only one whose feeling it too. That's what it means to be a team, right? We're in it together. The bad and the good," A soft smile graced her lips as she brought the back of his hand up to her lips for another featherishly light kiss.

"Well, with Rohan, we can both help out with the Pendulum repairs and for Meena, just continue to search I guess? I knew about the 'm' from Aaliyah and, um, I might have," She squeezed her eyes shut as she confessed. "I might have snuck into the Moore Manor after they put up the crime scene tape. It's just Aaliyah seemed so upset and I thought maybe I might be able to find something that could help? But, all I found was a fancy bottle of wine that I gave Aaliyah so she could have something on Meena's while we continue to look. Sorry I didn't give you a heads up before though. I know it was reckless," She explained only for a sigh to escape her lips and her body to sink further into the cushions at the mention of Dilan. "Yeah. I know... We kind of had a fight? I couldn't watch her torture herself and I don't know. It's hard knowing that she likely needs you more in this moment, then she does me," Her voice was no more than a soft murmur as she adverted her gaze. Hyper focusing on her hands instead, not that what she was admitting to was really anything new. While, she may be the older sister, she seemed like a pretty useless one these days or maybe always. It didn't help that she had been raised to fill the role of the middle child before she had meant Dilan and now? It just seemed like she was once again horribly inadequate at being there for the people she loved the most. "When did you tell Haru that? Is that why you two were keeping your distance when everything went down?"

"But, how do you know?" She asked. It wasn't that she didn't believe him. She just couldn't seem to put together how it would be different for her if it wasn't for him. "Wait-" She sat up a little bit as she leaned forward. "Why won't you? How does it help you? Talk to me please. I know you don't want to hurt me, but I'm not as fragile as I seem, Ken Matsui, and I know when I get quiet it seems like I'm saying one thing while my actions are saying another, but it's just me trying to process is all and I think sometimes when you sugarcoat things for me, I wind up trying to decode what is being said which only ends with me making inferences that may or may not be correct?"

"Being a constellation is the punishment. She chained her daughter up to save herself. She chose to humiliate and sacrifice her own kin to save her own skin, so now she spends eternity up there on display, chained up in the same way she had chained Andromeda. Her vanity and selfishness has turned her into the laughing stock of the stars. But, most myths act as cautionary tales. They're supposed to teach you lessons and be warnings of what might befall you if you let the worst parts of yourself get the best of you. That and I guess most humans suffer in myths? While the gods seemed to always get off free despite their own cruel and often unjust actions. I think back then, it might have given the people who believed in them someone to blame for the problems, but I also think it tells an interesting depiction of the privileges those in power can possess and the sometimes unfortunately reality that comes in part with it? And back then the leaders wanted to be as close to the gods as humanly possible to have some divine right over those their ruled, so having their gods resemble them might have done the trick? I don't know. But, the fairytale ending is. Even if in the original fairytales, there are far more tragedies," She admitted.

[heliosoll]

"I know I'm being very cordial in this response but I do hope it comes across that I'm sorry about hurting your feelings." Bestie shut up that is your sincerity 😭 the way you handled that whole situation has me 🥺🥰 love u and this safe and drama free blog!! Also not sure if im overstepping here but i did want to give my unsolicited personal opinion (yikes) just because i think it would give some perspective to u maybe idk jskaka. You've mentioned a few times that you to some extent see yourself coming across as blunt or maybe even me@n (censoring that bc u r not spoiler alert) and i was trying to think of how to word and explain this and i must have ✨️manifested✨️ the answer bc u literally gave me the perfect example in the tags of the ask u posted after that. A lot of shifting/loa bloggers have that really weird coddling+mean thing going on, kinda condescending and makes the bloggies feel ashamed or a bother to ask for help. There's also a lot of entitlement between those who have and have not and then mixed in with the frustration from people who are not believing in results and all that stuff, you know how it is. You aint got none of that bs here. You're very patient and I'd like to think more than blunt, it's a better word to say simple. You don't try to fluff it up or 'ive answered this a hundred times already, yall need to stop overcomplicating lol'. It has a lot to do with the way someone speaks yanno? Even in a few asks ago, you were very empathetic and gentle in saying that you know it's frustrating to hear but persist in there not being a problem and then even suggested that blanket affirmation. That kind of understanding nature is so rare to come by and its the reason why for the last few months u have become the sole shifting blog i follow and while yes i am the one who 'did' everything, it was under your guidance that i have let go of so much anxiety and disbelief. You promote the barebone necessities on this blog and that's literally all u need to shift. No limiting beliefs or backwards bragging. Your shifting post can literally be summed up by 'intention is all you really need' but you made a whoooole post about the ins and outs plus fine print. Like any question someone could possibly have, any loophole or limiting belief that could arise, you think of it beforehand and address it before it can be asked. I see that dedication and I applaud you for that like you really out here feeding a bunch of shifters for FREE 🤧 Anyways my life is so much better after finding this blog and learning how to do things the proper way. Thanks for all the effort and not enforcing any miniscule limiting beliefs. I think most people would agree that ur very friendly, kind and generally a good person, not mean at all. I've never once felt frustrated, discouraged or uncomfortable here. You're like the cool senior who looks sharp but is actually really sweet and tells all the freshman which courses to take and how to pass the class. Tldr; ur not blunt, ur just stating the facts as u should and we love u for it. This blog has brought me a lot of sollace (see what i did there) so i wanted to take the time to write this all out bc ur like my fave person evurrrrr. This is uhhhh also a bit of a doozy to post so u can absolutely delete this after u read it lmao anyway love u bestie 💓

I don't think I'll ever be able to truly express how much this means to me. This is literally the nicest ask I've ever gotten! And a little embarrassing to admit but this made me tear up a bit. Everything you said is exactly how I wanted this blog to be for people. I wanted it to be a safe space for all kinds of shifters - new and experienced. I wanted it to be an easy going space with no limiting beliefs and acceptance of all different kinds of beliefs.

I can't thank you enough for this 🥺 It makes me really happy to know that so many people feel safe and comfortable here. And I'm so glad I was able to help you too! Every now and then I wonder if I'm actually helping people so it was really nice to hear :')

This ask helped me a lot actually because I can see where you're coming from! I think I just get worried that some of my more "to the point" answers could come off as mean to people but I can see why they wouldn't as well. I don't really know what else to say this is just such a sweet message and I'll be thinking about it for a long time. Thank you so much for taking the time to quell my worries and bring in a new perspective 🥺 It really helped!!

[laequiem]

Mal d’amour - Part 6

/5 times the High King of Elfhame missed his exiled wife + 1 time she had enough.

"Jude," I gasp, "you're here." "Yes," she presses her sword against my throat enough to sting, "and I will slit your throat before you can call the guards. So don't." I narrow my brows. "Why would I call the guards?" She's here. She's back. I know I should be terrified. Jude scares me, usually. Yet, today, it’s as if I do not care if she kills me. Seeing her one last time is worth my spilled blood.

TW: Vomit. Not very descriptive, but it’s there.

Read on ao3 • masterlist • part 1 • part 2 • part 3 • part 4 • part 5

It is still bright outside when I regain consciousness and leave the cellars. I sway as I walk the hallways of the palace, willing my body to keep all this alcohol down and not make a fool of myself in public. The guards standing in front of my rooms look worried when they see the state I am in, but they let me in without a word.

With no one around to witness me so low, I head straight to the bathroom and kneel in front of the porcelain throne.

High King, indeed.

The alcohol tastes worse now that it did when I drank it and I relish in how terrible I feel. I deserve it. The burning, the pain, the shame. Perhaps I should not have waited to reach my rooms, the people of Elfhame deserve to see what a wretch their ruler is.

I get up and head to the sink. I barely recognize the male staring at me in the mirror. I have not bothered with makeup in days now, and the old remnants of it smudge down under my eyes. I strip away my days-old clothes, then I wet a cloth and wash my mouth, my face.

When I leave my bathing room, I am immediately pinned against a wall, cold steel pressing against my throat. I wait for the dread and fear to kick in, but it does not come until I lower my gaze towards my assailant and notice the pure rage in her stare.

"Exiling me was not enough, you had to also add insult to injury?" 

"Jude," I gasp, "you're here."

"Yes," she presses her sword against my throat enough to sting, "and I will slit your throat before you can call the guards. So don't."

I narrow my brows. "Why would I call the guards?"

She's here.

She's back.

I know I should be terrified. Jude scares me, usually. Yet, today, it’s as if I do not care if she kills me. Seeing her one last time is worth my spilled blood.

"I thought we were past being horrible to each other, Cardan," she spits my name like a curse and I wince at the reminder of how horrible I used to be, "this taunt you sent me is cruel even for you!"

Silver lines her eyes, unshed tears threatening to drop, and I clamp my hands at my side to prevent myself from reaching for her. 

"Jude, I…” I let out a nervous laugh and her upper lip curls, “I never sent you any taunts.”

She snarls and removes something from her pocket.

"Yeah? What is this then?"

She waves a piece of paper around, one that was clearly crumpled but she tried to flatten as much as possible. I narrow my eyes to focus on what is written on it, but she is moving it too quickly even for my fae senses.

"Can you remove your sword and let me read it," I swallow my pride and add, "please?"

Jude pulls away her sword, still gripping it tightly. She gives me the note and I recognize it immediately as the one I asked the Court of Shadow to deliver.

"This is… the last plea of a desperate male," I look away from her, my cheeks heating with the shame of the confession, "I know you never replied the other letters and I should have taken the hint, but—"

I hide my face with my free hand. 

"I couldn't give up without telling you… this," I wave the note like she did earlier.

I can't get myself to say the words, not when she looks at me like that. Like she sees everything that I am, the fear, the want, the loneliness.

She backs away, sheaths her sword and paces the room. I just stand there, dumbfounded. Eventually, she settles on the rolled arm of an armchair and crosses her arms. When she looks at me again, her eyes widen and she looks away, suddenly realizing how naked I am. I would tease her for being prudish if it weren't for the fact that I am walking on eggshells

"Say it," she orders. She rolls her eyes when I narrow mine in confusion, "say what's on the paper. Out loud."

I realize that she wants to make sure I am not lying. She must not know that I cannot even write falsehoods. It is what makes agreements between territories so long and boring—rulers arguing over wording, trying to weave loopholes that could be used in their favour.

I walk the few meters separating us, then drop to my knees in front of her. Her gaze snaps back to me as I take her hands in mine.

"I miss you, Jude, my Queen," I bring her hand to my mouth and gently kiss her ring finger. "Stay with me, I beg you."

Jude removes a hand from mine and reaches for her belt. I had not noticed before that she had something hanging there. She removes the fabric covering it, revealing the crown I commissioned for her. It is dented and one of the jewels missing.

"Suppose I believe you, why this?"

I stand up and pick up the crown. I run my thumb over a particularly bad dent. Did it get damaged as it traveled?

"To remind you what you fought for. I shouldn't have, I know,” I sigh, “I couldn't… fathom why you would stay there. Why you chose not to come back."

"I was banished, Cardan! You—" she grunts, "put some clothes on! I can't yell at you when you look like… that."

I raise a brow and run a hand through my hair, "Like what you see?" 

Her face gets redder, her frown deeper. It’s so, so easy to tease her. 

"No!” she snaps.

"Ah,” I turned away, making for my closet, “I didn't know human males could even compare."

"That's not it—" a snort, "Vivi did try. She wanted me to… date. We created a profile on one of those apps."

I have no idea what “apps” are, but I feel a weight lifting from my shoulders at the casual conversation. The confiding tone. I put on my robe, tying it at my waist. 

"I don't know their customs. They see that I don't belong."

I look back to the room and find her standing next to the window, looking out towards the mortal realm. She is holding the crown I sent her, admiring how the daylight reflects on its gems.

"You belong here,” I say softly.

She whirls on me, her eyes full of renewed rage.

"Will you STOP? You don't get to say that. Not after what you did,” she crosses her arms again, “If you really missed me, why didn't you come get me?"

I flinch, thinking back to the Bomb asking me the same question.

"You ignored my letters. I thought that was your way of telling me you were done with my kind."

"I never received any letter."

I roll my eyes, “I understand that you’re angry, Jude dearest, but don’t lie. Not about that.”

“I’m serious. Radio silence, for all these months.”

My heart drops. The Bomb was right, my letters never made it to her. My chest aches with a new kind of dread. By giving up, by not being pushy enough, did I cause her suffering? I always lacked ambition. It is only fitting that my faults cause her more pain.

“I suppose that saves me some embarrassment,” I laugh nervously as she turns back to the window, “some of them were quite… pathetic."

Jude does not reply. She keeps staring out in the distance, her fingers absentmindedly stroking the iron or the crown. I approach the window where she stands and look out.

“I somehow managed not to burn it to the ground,” I look to her and smirk, “yet.”

“You’re terrible,” she replies, and I swear I can hear a smile in her tone.

“I need you to keep me in check.”

I turn to her and gently take the crown from her hands. It burns my hands, the skin blistering from the iron, but I ignore it. For a moment, I just stare at it.

“Elfhame needs to know her High Queen," I raise my eyes to hers, "Jude Duarte, will you rule with me?"

She does not answer me, her lips clamped in a tight line.

"Do you wish for me to propose again?" I push.

A small smile creeps on her face and my knees threaten to buckle at the sight. 

"Maybe. I do like seeing you on your knees," she lifts an eyebrow.

"Don't push your luck," I reply with a grin.

She laughs and it is the most beautiful sound I have heard in months. Even she seems surprised by it, her eyes widening.

I ask again, this time softer, "Will you rule with me?"

Her throat bobs. She looks to the crown, back to me and finally answers, "yes."

The smile that blooms on my face is wide and genuine. I lift the crown above her head and, after brushing a strand of hair back in place, place it upon her head.

When I pull away, I let my hand linger, a knuckle brushing against her cheek gently.

"Welcome back, my High Queen."

[adhara2034]

The first thing I think I should address is that I believe you have misunderstood quite a bit of what I have said. The second is that you keep putting words into my mouth, I would ask that you stop that, as all it is producing is confusion and cramps in my fingers.

1. We know he loves Crowley just as is. The problem is that due to him being a demon, they can't be together, so Aziraphale belives tgat the best option they have is if Crowley can be redeemed. Which I don't think Crowley wants.

2. Aziraphale knows Crowley is fundamentally good, but when people (divine beings) see Crowley, all they see is his status as a demon. Now tell me, should you see a demon, would you believe that they are good? No, you most likely wouldn't. It's his status that affects how they view him. If he were anything else but a demon, they would not view him in such ways.

3. No, I do not think trying to be good is wrong, I truly have no idea what gave you that notion. I have agreed with you that Aziraphale wishes to remain an angel so that he can do good freely, a luxury Crowley does not have.

I also never said Heaven and Hell were equally bad, I said that they have their ups and downs.

As I was saying, being viewed as good and angelic enough means something to Aziraphale. If he couldn't be good, then what would he have? He would have a shadow of his original self.

And I never said Crowley has better advantages. I never said Aziraphale should fall. I never disagreed that they were both oppressed. Again, you seem to be putting words into my mouth.

4. Just reread 2. It doesnt matter how much good Aziraphale sees in Crowley if the jury can't see it past his status as a demon.

5. They dont. They just have different ways of going about it. Aziraphale wishes to fight for it, but Crowley already tried to fight Heaven, and he lost. He's given up trying that way.

6. When did I ever say that I wanted him to be punished, and when did I say that Aziraphale should fall just so Crowley and him could match? I said that Aziraphale needs to be viewed as angelic enoigh because if he isn't, then he'll be punished for it, which no one wants.

7. You are literally agreeing with me, but you're trying to make it seem like you're disagreeing. He couldn't do anything against God's word because if he did, then he risked divine punishment, so when it came down to stuff he could find loopholes for, he obviously used them so that he could get his desired outcome.

8. Again, I must reiterate that I don't want him to be punished.

And yes, these flashbacks are a way of him properly seeing how bad Heaven can be. He obviously had some semblance of an idea that not all was what it should be, but the flashbacks served as a way of showing up how he got a lot of concrete evidence. It showed us him forming a solid opinion.

9. Due to that reason, Aziraphale wants to try to find a reason to get over it. Find another loophole so that they can be together. But what he hasn't taken into consideration is Crowleys opinion in it, which creates a wall. In trying to help their situation, he has built a wall between them due to him trying to solve things without consulting Crowley to see if thats what he wants.

10. Yes, calling someone an idiot is something you should ask forgiveness for, but in this instance, Aziraphale is forgiving Crowleh for walking away. For leaving him, even after telling him that he needed him.

You can not fault Crowley for not wanting to go back to the place that cast him out. The place that wanted his only friend to die. The place that wanted to destroy the world he helped build.

11. ???. It was never about who's way is right or wrong, but to how Aziraphale views how they can coexist together. Crowley is exasperated at the fact that despite all this time together, Aziraphale hasn't seemed to truly understand that Crowley would never go back to Heaven. Exasperated that Crowley doesn't need to be an angel for them to love each other to their fullest extent.

Never mentioned running away, but s1, yeah, they would have been destroyed, eventually. S2, yeah, Aziraphale couldn't have stayed with God breathing down his neck, but that isn't what I'm arguing. What im arguing is that Aziraphale hasn't realised that there is no way Crowley is going back to Heaven, despite 6000 years of frequently seeing each other. That is the barrier. The barrier is that Aziraphale doesn't fully understand Crowley, though also Crowley's fault as well, he never did explain why he fell to Aziraphale, so he wouldn't know.

The world they live in is made to go against them. It's due to their differing opinions that they can't become and 'Us.' They believe that they can be together throigh different ways, but what they really need to do is actually talk to one another.

I honestly don't think that I can explain my viewpoint any further, and I don't think you can bring this off topic any further either. If you can't see what I was originally saying after all of this... I truly do not know.

@gudenoodle

Here's some more food for you, I guess

I'm pissed about the lack of finish for Good Omens, but I will be FURIOUS, if the movie doesn't include Crowley yelling at Aziraphale.

I need Crowley to finally tell him that no, I don't need to be forgiven, I do not want to be forgiven. My fall from 'grace' is not something that I regret. It is not something I need you to forgive me for. It was a decision I made and it was not a wrong one.

Because this is the reason why they just haven't seemed to be able to fully connect, because Aziraphale still believes that Crowley made a mistake.

Why else would Crowley be so fixated on an 'Us?' He doesn't fit into Hell or Heavan, doesn't want to, and he wished Aziraphale could see that it doesn't have to be the divine versus the sin, because picking a side doesn't always work. Why should they fight in their war? Why shouldn't they just fight to protect their home? Their world?

[bluerosewritings]

Duel Rules | Riddle x Stubborn!Reader

[Originally uploaded to ‘The Hearts Mirror’ on Wattpad]

Your stubbornness had started off as an admirable quality to Riddle. While other students were grumbling about the Queen of Hearts' rules, you were determined to follow them, almost to a fault. Sure, you weren't as big of a rule abider as Riddle but you'd set your mind on upholding what you believed to be the values of Heartslabyul and Riddle respected you for that.

The only issue was when you came across a rule you didn't agree with. Not matter what, if you didn't want to follow it, you would never follow it, and it drove Riddle insane. Even post-overblot, your dorm head was still shocked at how adamantly against you were at following rules 39, 176 and 590. Especially rule 590.

That was how you had once again been called to the dorm lounge long after it had been deserted by the other students, sitting across from Riddle who was massaging the bridge of his nose. A frustrated sigh escaped his lips as he briefly looked up at you, wondering how in the of Twisted Wonderland the two of you managed to keep finding yourselves together like this.

"(y/n)-"

You cut him off. "It wasn't my fault."

Riddle couldn't stop his eyebrow from twitching. "It wasn't your fault?"

You nodded.

"So the fact that your roommate is currently in the infirmary after a magic duel from a shot multiple people, including myself, saw you cast... is not your fault?" Riddle said, finally looking you in the eye. His expression was a hardened glare, though you could tell there was something else behind it as well.

"Look, he started it," you explained, "he said some pretty stupid stuff and said if I won a duel against him, he would keep his mouth shut - if I lost, he got to tell everyone and I took his place in Azul's contract. Not my fault."

Riddle shook his head. "Even though you broke the rules of the duel?"

The accusation made you shift in your seat. Riddle knew logically you couldn't deny it - it was a miracle that the headmaster had agreed to let him deal with the issue, even if he was your dorm head. While duels typically weren't allowed on school grounds, rule 590 of the Queen of Hearts was something of a loophole, where as long as only non-elemental magic was used a duel was allowed. During your duel, however, you had cast wind magic, causing your opponent to be pushed backwards. You'd intended just to scare him but he instead tripped and fell down on his arm at a not so nice angle, luckily managing not to break it but unfortunately it was still pretty battered.

"...He shouldn't have been acting like an idiot." you eventually replied, receiving another unhappy look from Riddle. "Look, he was going to use elemental magic on me too, okay? I had no choice!"

"And you know that, how?"

"Because he was bragging about it to his friends in broad daylight like an idiot."

"If you knew that, then you should've come to me. In fact, why didn't you?" Riddle crossed his arms, confusion now showing on his face. "I usually mediate all your duels. So why—"

"B-Because I don't want to keep dragging you into my messes!" You say.

A pout forms on Riddle's face. While you'd usually consider it cute, you knew it meant he didn't believe your lie. You internally cursed yourself for not thinking of a better excuse.

"(y/n)," Riddle's voice grew sterner, "why didn't you talk to me?"

You mumbled under your breath. Riddle gave out another frustrated sigh.

"(y/n)."

"...because then he'd have known."

Riddle furrowed his brows. "Known? Known what?"

"That we're dating."

Riddle blinked, unsure of how to reply. "Why would you talking to me make him know... that?"

"That was the secret." You told him. "He said he knew we were... y'know. But I could tell he wasn't 100% sure, so I played it off and tried to keep away."

Well, that explained your lack of presence being made up by late-night texts, then.

"I mean, I still don't see why we have to hide us," you continued, "since you shouldn't care about what your mother thinks after what she did to you! But... you don't want that, so... I had to break the rule. I... I'm sorry."

Riddle froze. "Huh? Could you... repeat that?"

"Repeat what?" You feigned innocence, knowing exactly what he meant.

Riddle wasn't going to give up so easily, however. "The last thing you said."

"I had to break the rule."

"After that."

"...I'm... sorry." A blush spread across your cheeks. You didn't exactly mean your words - you were sorry, yes, but really for worrying Riddle rather than for standing your ground. You were pretty sure Riddle knew it too.

It didn't matter. Your apology and your expression caused Riddle to soften. He stood up from the lounge's "throne" couch and made his way over to you. Using your bodies to shield your hands from any unlikely late-night visitors, Riddle intertwined his fingers with yours, giving your hand a light squeeze. As the two of you rarely made any contact, the action caused a light red to spread across both your cheeks.

"Thank you, (y/n)." Riddle said. "However, this does not mean I approve of you going around and disrespecting not only the school's rules but also the Queen of Hearts' rules. Understand?"

You huff. "Even though they're so pointless?"

Riddle raised an eyebrow. "Does that make rule 2 pointless as well?"

"Of course not! Scones without fruit tea is unforgivable." You argued, shocked Riddle would even suggest the idea.

Riddle sighed, though you saw the corners of his mouth twitch. "Then you need to follow the other rules, too. You can't just do what you think is right concerning rules - I think what happened to me should be proof enough of that."

The thought of Riddle's overblot sent a cold feeling down your spine. "I would never... get that far. I promise."

Riddle smiled. "I know; I wouldn't let you. Not that you'd let yourself get 'there' either."

"Thank you." You whispered. You dropped your voice even lower. "...I love you."

"I love you, too." Riddle replied, words so quiet you had to read his lips.

His lips... before you could stop yourself, you placed your lips on his, clutching his hands. Secrecy temporarily forgotten, Riddle loosened his grip on one of your hands to move his to the back of your head, adjusting the angle of your head so he could kiss you deeper. The kiss likely lasted no more than thirty seconds, but like every time you touched, it felt like a thousand years.

For the millionth time, you cursed Riddle's mother and the fear she'd pushed into her son that caused the two of you to keep your relationship on the down-low. You couldn't help yourself - you wanted more. You dove you head closer to his again, only your aim was off, causing the two of you to bump noses.

Riddle let out a cry of pain as you cursed your bad luck, using your free hand to massage your nose. Once the pain subsided, you and Riddle caught each other's eyes. Laughter started coming out of Riddle as he had to look away, your pout too cute for him to handle at the moment.

"I'm getting better!" You insisted. "It's just dark in here, that's all."

"Of course." Riddle complied.

He brought his free hand away from the back of your head and began to caress your cheek. You leaned into his palm, though your pout still remained. Riddle giggled and placed a quick, chaste kiss against your lips. Like always, he adored the look of surprise bliss that decorated your face.

You missed the heat when he eventually pulled his hand away. Your hand felt empty without his to hold.

You were happy you could still look into his eyes. "(y/n), even if someone is threatening to reveal our relationship, if anything like that happens again, make sure to come to me. Understand?"

You frowned. On one hand, you were happy he was willing to risk your relationship to keep you out of trouble; on the other hand, you didn't like the implication that you couldn't handle your own problems. It may have ended badly this time, but that didn't mean it would always end somewhat tragically.

But one look into Riddle's worried eyes and you knew you couldn't say no. "...Okay. I promise."

The tension seemed to literally fly off Riddle's shoulders. "Thank you, (y/n)."

He placed a kiss on your cheek and smiled. "I'm expecting a five hundred sentence essay on your self-reflection about the school rules and rule 590 in my room by tomorrow night, as well as a written apology to who you injured."

"Wha- Riddle!?" You turned, too stunned to grab his arm as he walked off. "That's unfair! Riddle!"

The red-head chuckled, looking back at you with a smirk. "Would you rather it was off with your head?"

No, you didn't. It didn't stop you from grumbling about it however.

Riddle chuckled. "Be glad I'm making you drop it off in my room instead of in front of everyone. Good night, (y/n)."

Riddle left, leaving you alone in the lounge. You let out a frustrated sigh, even though you were getting off leniently. And why was he making you drop off the essay to his room specifically, instead of just letting you just hand it to him whenever? And at night! He-

Oh. Alone. A blush invaded your cheeks. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all.