#but I can do caffeine so
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The problem with giving up takeout for lent is that I’m not actually up to cooking anything right now and I’m out of instant stuff, which would normally be solved by takeout But
#like yeah I can and will break it if I’m not feeling better by this evening im stubborn not stupid#and it’s not a guilt thing either it’s a trying to build better habits thing#this is not like the year I gave up espresso and didn’t realize until may I’d basically taken myself off my meds cold turkey#im allergic to fucking everything so I can’t do actual adhd meds because the risks are too high#but I can do caffeine so#and I’d accidentally gotten a really good balance going while I was at Starbucks because my drinks were free#but yeah this is not that situation Im just working on a migraine#probably a combo of another storm blowing in and the return of the ear infection this time with pus#it’s very gross and painful and im having a hell of a time with my new insurance#tech difficulties the insurance itself is fine but I can’t schedule an appointment#basically the button to actually schedule the thing isn’t loading and tech support was like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ good luck!
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once again i was fueled with coffee (did not sleep the whole night) but this time i doodled college au to cope bc ofc i did (also did not feel like sleeping wooo)
#self insert#cross!sans#epic!sans#mblue art#cm#m rambles#(that tag is needed bc hoo boy u can tell i did not get sleep and is fueled by caffeine)#(do not be like me!!!!!!!!! do not deprive urself of sleep 💀💀💀)#(get a good 6-7hrs a day if u can. if 4-5hr works better for u then im not forcing u to sleep more 😤😤😤 as long as u rest well 😁👍)#(AND HYDRATE... if ur reading this try to take a sip rn 🥤)#campus au#(college au scenarios will be tagged that heehoo)#not colored just lines bby 😎😎😎#idiots to lovers type shit where they both confide in epic n he's just chillin#waiting for the time when these dummies will finally confess to eachother themselves#(look i think it's rlly funny seeing cross be all cool calm collected in public but when he talks to epic abt his crush)#(he goes insane with a million different flustered/blushing emojis)#( 'they told me good luck on my test and gave me the nicest smile ever how was i gonna live after that' goofy ass. idiot /aff)#( 'DUDE THEY GAVE ME A MOTIVATIONAL NOTE. IN /PINK/ PAPER. ON CHOCOLATE. DOES THIS...... 😳' guys i love silly dorky cross to bits so much)#(man fucking explodes w his simping n epic just goes LMAO but he's v supportive for his bruh 💪😤)#(on the other hand my sona thinks he's sooo cool and awesome and smart and honestly fucking charming HHELLO THE TIMES WHEN HE LAUGHS AND)#(AND SMILES HELLOOO MR HANDSOME I MEAN WHATT)#( 'stars if he likes me back i wouldn't know what to do with myself. fucking EXPLODE? YIPPEE CONFETTI??' lots of flushge )#(going ueueue at big bro epic bc they got a super massive crush on his bestie but)#(but the head is entertaining 'what-if's BUT i think kuya epic knows how to steer the thoughts away from those and smack em w teasing 😎✨)#(ultimately distracting and successfully reassuring them 😎😎😎)#(tsundere mblue no way not in here im down bad astronomically full on simping my guys)#(he might be a dumbass sometimes but he's my dumbass) (ok i'll shut up now fr)#anywayz campus au is the my highschool au but we're all adults and more tired yippeee
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Do you use AI generators to compile or scrape this information?
no
#anonymous#ai has nothing on an over-caffeinated human being copy pasting & taking screenshots past 3 in the morning & queuing everything#no but on a serious note most of these is the product of years of compilations stuck in my drafts & old files as a student#been going through my old bookmarks as well (bc need more space) so there may be random study notes or tips sometimes#thats also why i have a lot of grammar related stuff that i used at school --- still handy notes though#as for the requests i usually do them in one sitting & queue them -- not claiming to be an expert on those topics#i just try to look for the best sources i can -- which is fun bc i learn a lot as well &#i always appreciate when people send me more info or corrections#this genuinely made me a bit self conscious of my posts tho like do they look AI generated#just shoved a lot of queued posts back to my drafts lol will try to edit them better soon i know its a mess here !#also acccidentally clicking the 'shuffle' queue messed up the chronology at one point -- so been trying to schedule posts#instead of adding to queue ---- but will reorganise when i find more time#but yeah most of these are my literal notes -- excerpts / literally copy pasted from my references that may be quite outdated#that i need to delete but still wanted to save elsewhere
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i feel like the perspective over what is determinant or not to win someone a championship is kinda skewed for new fans bc we just transitioned from one generational driver leading a dominance period to another in quick succession, like speaking for myself even with knowledge from previous seasons before i actually watched this current one unfold in real time i found myself many times thinking that max and lewis behavior is the norm when it just isnt… maybe thats part of the reason why people are so black and white ab other drivers rights or wrongs or how long it takes them to get to the top of their game
#what i mean is lando or anyone else dont HAVE to be or do anything right away. lando could win it next year for all i know#nobody has to be max verstappen or lewis hamilton or michael schumacher to win a championship they just need to do enough#granted sometimes enough is something that only the sickos can deliver but other times it isnt#so theres that#ANYWAY I NEED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT FUVKING FORMULA 1 AND GET TO GETTING MY SHIT DONE#TIME TO LOCK IN I ALREADY HAVE PALPITATIONS FROM CAFFEINE LETS GO#f1 rant
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Rook walks into the small building Bellara had claimed. An Eluvian in the Crossroads was acting funny and -
"Lucanis? What -
"Shhh," he shushes Rook quickly with a finger to his mouth then points at a soundly sleeping Bellara.
"Oh, we should go," Rook whispers but Lucanis shakes his head.
"I put on a full pot of coffee forty five minutes ago and it is nearly gone," he points to a mug beside Bellara with suspicious coffee marks on the rim, "she drank it."
"Wait, no, all of it? But...she's asleep!"
"I am checking to see if she is poisoned. Crows have knowledge of these things."
"Of course! Should I get Emmrich?"
"Hold onto that for a moment." Lucanis inches forward, kneels, gently takes Bellara's hand in his. His fingers touch her wrist, then he touches her forehead with the back of his hand. He takes out a small mirror, holds it up to her mouth - it clouds over with breath.
Suddenly, Bellara gives a great sort and rolls over. Lucanis rises and scratches his head.
"I don't think she's poisoned....just asleep."
"I thought coffee keeps you awake," Rook whispers as they stare at Bellara in equal parts shock and worry. "Maybe all that time in Arlathan has altered Bellara somehow."
"I see no other explanation," Lucanis murmurs.
Quietly, they leave Bellara to her nap.
#ah the caffeine adhd naps - my mom and sister would do this#'i'm gonna have a coke so i can take a nap'#bellara lutare#rook#lucanis dellamorte#scurv writes#veilguard#dragon age#datv
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h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work
unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion
#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad#because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid#i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back#i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades#i might be able to snag a short nap before work#but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen#WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE#well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway#OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal.#anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently#emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it#and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry#so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever?#and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this??#also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m#so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point#anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari#after escaping her british nobility life#and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course.#and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known#and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates.#and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time#also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w#but at least he’s still obsessed with her#this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either.#ml#anna rambles#asks
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wow I didn’t think reblogging that tea post and then seeing people’s tags would deal me such strong psychic damage. come over I can fix you I can find a tea you will like. “I don’t like tea” how can you say that as a blanket statement when there are so many vastly different kinds of tea. head in hands
#‘it’s like coffee but not good’#while a cup of black tea does have a great deal less caffeine in it than coffee#it also has a stimulant called l-theanine which is NOT found in coffee#and the more complex combination of the two stimulants hit your system much more slowly#which is why tea doesn’t give you jitters like coffee does#anyone who’s like wow I need my coffee to survive but I hate that it makes me nauseous and gives me heart palpitations and bad breath#to you I say. wean yourself off coffee and onto tea!!!!!!!#but WAIT I can keep going. nauseous? ginger tea. sore throat? peppermint contains menthol which works as a numbing agent#green and black teas are both very high in antioxidants#chamomile and lavender do both have a calming affect#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TASTE I hear you say#IT TASTES LIKE GRASS. try a floral tea or a black tea or chai or Thai tea#ITS SO BITTER you’re either steeping it for too long or the water you’re using is too hot#not to sound like I’m fucking uncle iroh or something I just apparnerlt have strong thoughts and feelings about tea#I can’t handle ppl going ugh I hate tea and it’s like. overbrewed lipton in microwaved tap water.#anyway MY favorites are jasmine and lavender earl grey#and currently I’m really into this corn silk tea my brother bought me at h mart#it’s like gen mai cha but even more#congrats for making it this far into my tea rant tags. if you comment your tastes I can give you a personalized tea recommendation
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yall Im so fucking tired. This month has been exhausting. I promise Im alive, just barely functional atm.
#personal#rant below#begining of the month docs said dad had less than a month. Hes still around but declining#been taking care of him and my mom#along with working full time#and my boyfriend doing his damndest to keep me busy when Im not helping with dad#which is great except Im so tired#but also I havent been able to sleep much#and I've lost my appetite which apparently is a grief thing I didn't know about#So I've managed to get all the physical grief symptoms and it is taking a fucking toll#so your girl is sleeping in tomorrow and spending the day doing my own little crafts and avoiding people as much as I can#a girl just wants some sleep and a fulfilling snack but all she is being given are slight naps and unappealing food. send help.#anyways after this experience Ive decided that I no longer give any fucks because you only live once so Im just gonna do what I want foreve#and actually live life instead of being constrained by societal standards#after all this is over of course. gotta take care of dad first#also I got to paint the door because he was sick of staring at the porch. so its a lake view now#woooo#yeah so thats my life update for you all#also I saw a girl for the first time in 9 years today who completely changed the tradgetory of my life and didn't know it. so that was fun.#exhausing but fun#also idgaf about spelling right now I am running on caffeine and pure will power atm
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taking adhd medication and still being listless and unable to do the things you want to do like oh so i AM the problem then. alright
#boo. tomato tomato.#im just sleepy. unfortch stims can do nothing about that. nor can caffeine. nor can anything on this stupid earth. how lame#ok whatever giving up on the task n moving on#so i cant edit whatever. gonna read or paint yay
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Guys I've been having a very stubborn case of insomnia for about three months now and nothing I've tried seems to help, please hit me with some advice if you can? :')
#or just hit me literally. on the head with something heavy so I can sleep#I've posted this on main already and not much came of it so I'm trying here too#my methods so far:#I don't drink coffee or energy drinks at all and I don't consume anything caffeinated not even green tea past 4pm#I drink lavender tea in the evenings#I have a very steady bedtime routine#and I take 3mg melatonin an hour before bed#my problem is that even after doing all this I just lie awake for a while and then fall into shallow sleep#and it's very fragmented I wake up very often#and then I wake up early in the morning without even needing an alarm and I can't fall back asleep for the life of me#so I'm just constantly exhausted and my head hurts and I've got tinnitus like all day#personal#posts from yahar'gul
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I missed you Daniel Sempere I missed you Julián Carax I missed you Cementerio de los Libros Olvidados I missed you blue morning fog stretching over the streets of Barcelona that Carlos Ruiz Zafón loves so much he mentions it every three pages
#Excellent news!!! I can still read Spanish and am having a much easier time than anticipated!!!#So many things to read and write and watch and play so little time#Which is an excellent problem to have#I’m experiencing a form of restlessness I haven’t felt in years and that might be due to my increased caffeine intake OR#It could be a growth spurt… because these never end do they#I don’t know!!! My brain is bouncing off the walls and I like it#literature#spanish literature#carlos ruiz zafón#la sombra del viento
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brewed the first cup of my new cacao pu'erh(<both new things for me) tea tonight and I trusted it would be alright bc I love this brand but holy shit it's straight up just hot chocolate without the thickness of milk
#j.txt#so crazy. I didnt realize you can have tea that tasted like this !#it is caffeinated too so I can't have it too often but as someone whos always disappointed with their homemade hotchoc this is a gamechange#[redacted bc its extremely local] tea brand you never fail me I love you#most of the stuff I get from them is looseleaf too it's so satisfying to go through the whole process and see the leaves do their thing
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The woman's voice in earbuds: Battery Low Arthur: So you're just going to leave me. Just like everyone else
#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp arthur#ikevamp incorrect quotes#im going to preface this one by saying#1. i'm so sorry#2. I am also not remotely sorry#these two things can be true at once and are not remotely in conflict with each other <3#in all seriousness though i saw this post days ago and i just couldn't stop relating it to him#he's so damn dramatic and desperate for attn PLS#i also just can't get over the thought of him muttering this while everyone looks at him like he's nuts#theo like 'im not touching that with a forty foot pole'#theo: yeah just like i'm doing right now **goes to work**#man the way i just imagine dazai holding a hose over arthur to make it look like its raining until the camera panels back#isaac walking out of sbux with everyone's coffee like 'wtf happened here???'#shhhhh isaac no questions only caffeine#source: foodandfriends#(yes i am aware of the tragic meaning this can take on no i will not be broaching it)#(I Do Not See It. Let the Children Sleep.)
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HELL WEEK IS OVER HOLY SHIT HAHAHAHHAHAA I LIIIIIIVE
#PUT UR PANTS BACK ON BABE#UNDERTOW CH 6 COMING TO U AT STARTLING SPEED#OH NO WHYS IT GETTING SO CLOSE#OH GOD RUN#I AM GOD#peony speaks#legit almost died#i was getting only 1-2 hours of “sleep” per night#and was drinking so much caffeine that i was getting seriously concerned#and also still had to go to work on the weekend#it was so ass#but hey i actually managed to finish everything#on time too!#now that everythings out of the way i can finally write again#also i somehow gained 2 more betas#why do i have 5 betas#who the hell needs 5 betas#actually 1 of them only leaves stuff like “haha” or “lol”#so maybe only 4 betas#ily maya#also im losing followers on twitter bc i keep talking about poop#its keeping me up at night
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The MGiT would actually be great for Veilguard because you can just explain Rook’s incredibly sensitivity and awareness of mental health and identity stuff as someone who did go to therapy for years and has the skill set but like, isn’t using it for themself.
Like yes, I have seen 13 papers/wiki articles/youtube discussions on gender identity, do not ask me what that means I cannot tell you, btw have you heard of the wide spectrum of sexuality and gender-
#datv spoilers#spoilers#rambling#the player speaks#me seeing rook pass therapy advice to the team like#hahaha I do that#do as I say not as I do#mgit#modern girl in thedas#self insert world#like imagine handing out Cognitive Behavioral therapy to them and they’re like Do you use this?#hahahah no#but it DID get me through hell so I’m passing it on#wanna tell Taash about my gender soup joke I tell friends where I say gender is a soup you can season as you like#me sitting Spite down to explain in depth how bad lack of sleep is for a human body as well as#caffeine/coffee excess to Lucanis#I paid $1000 for the therapy might as well make the most of it#tell Davrin it’s ok to care about things like you can stop (badly) trying to hide it#help Bellara with the stages of grief and explain ADHD to her#Emmrich is pretty chill tbh I’d probably have nothing of value to tell him#commend him for his exposure therapy with his fear of death maybe?#maybe a parenting book for Manfred
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My carer’s b-day is this weekend and she loves Victorian clothing and fashion so I doodled her a little picture in her card using a portrait as reference
#I struggle with big fluffy dresses and lace even more so#it was 6am and I was in a caffeine and depression fuelled creative grind#I’ve really missed doing Victorian stuff#the things you can do with a no. 2 pencil and a pen from the post office
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