#but I believe most of them new my dad was cheating on my mom with multiple women over decades

[labradorite-princess]

I'm not going to the wedding. I can't do it.

[readychilledwine]

Could i request something where az and reader are mates. They have a huge fight and “break up” and reader leaves the court. She finds out that she is pregnant and writes him a letter. He never shows up so she thinks he doesn’t want the baby. Rhys visit the court she is in and sees her with a child maybe a couple months old. He is mad because she didn’t told him and when he ask her why she keeps his nephew away she tells him that she wrote az but he never answered. Rhys is mad and ask az what is up with him to just leave his pregnant mate. Unbeknownst to him that az was searching for her the whole time. Az tells him that he never got a letter and they find out that maybe elain burned it. It takes some time for them but they find their way back and just fluff azriel dad who teaches his son how to fly.

( you could write more angst between reader and az because of elain or you could use a maid or something who wants az)

Here Without You

Summary - Being a single mother was more painful than you'd ever thought it would be, especially when your son's father was just a court away.

Warnings - Angst, Elain showing those claws, single mom status, a child, PPD and the thoughts that come with it, **edited to add** cheating

A/N - I had one of my friends who is a single mom help me with this one while also imagining my life without baby daddy, and um, yeah. We cried a lot, so hopefully, you all do too.

*message from Liz regarding the ending at the end*

💙Peep my Azriel Masterlist Here💙

You had decided whatever you had done to offend the Mother must have been truly unforgettable and unforgivable as you sank against the wall of your family chambers in the Day Court Palace.

Being a new mother was the hardest thing you had ever and will ever do. You had finally gotten Nox down after 3 hours of fussing and tears, and now you waited. He'd sleep 2 hours if you were lucky, wake up crying, and you'd start the process over.

You had wished for your mate more times than you could count, but that bridge was long gone and burned. He had ensured of that by not coming when you wrote him, by not even bothering to write you a response.

The last fight between you and Azriel had been ugly. Glasses had been thrown, a bottle of wine knocked over in rage, cruel words you would both have to live with ringing in your ears like a scream. 350 years. Gone. Thrown away like garbage. All for Elain.

Selfish, plotting, destructive Elain.

You stood, body swaying with sleep deprivation setting in before sitting at the table where your now cold food set. You were too tired to eat, choosing to instead drink the water you had been desperately craving 4 hour ago.

You had wished you could turn it to wine, drink it with no consequences, and still feed Nox when he woke, but that was not the reality of the world. So, instead, you allowed the room temperature flavorless beverage to slide down your throat before moving like a ghost to the couch. There was no point in getting comfortable in your own bed. You would have to be up soon anyway. It wasn’t as if you had help.

You were alone.

And that wasn't even the most painful part of it.

The most painful part was setting in doubt. The growing disbelief that you weren't capable of this, that Nox deserved more, that you should have dropped him at the cabin you had no doubt Elain had moved into, leaving him with her and Azriel to allow you to-

You cut your brain off, refusing to put those words into a full thought. Refusing to believe that your disappearance or death was better for your son than this.

This had to be enough, you had to be enough, because Gods if it wasn't and you weren't, then what truly was the point in living any longer.

Helion entered your chambers the next morning, eyes falling to where you were sat on the floor, shoulders shaking as sobs tore through you. He placed a large warm hand on your shoulder before taking Nox from your arms. "I know I can not offer much of a break due to his feeding cycle, but when is the last time you ate a hot meal, y/n?"

You shook your head. He was 2 weeks old. You supposed it had been before labor. Since then, it had been moments begging for just a second of deep sleep. Moments begging for the Mother to help you, to guide you. Moments where those prayers went unanswered as if they were just thrown into a void. "I don't remember."

Helion could have killed Azriel for you, for Lucien, for Nox. He almost had when you had winnowed yourself here, collapsing in his arms from the exhaustion magic and a growing babe had caused your body.

You hadn't known when you came to the Day Court, begging your oldest friend for a week of safety and healing that you were pregnant, but the High Lord had scented it the second you appeared.

It left him wondering how the hell Azriel hadn't.

"Let me hire a wet nurse for you," he offered again, knowing you would turn it down since your depressive state had you hyper fixated in this belief that all you were good for now was your breasts, and if you gave that duty away, what purpose did you have? "At least for the next few hours. To give you time to rest?"

You still shook your head, messy, tangled hair trying to sway. "I can't. I can't burden someone else."

Helion turned his head away from you, willing himself not to cry at the emptiness of your voice, at the lifelessness you had become.

"The Night Court and Spring are coming today," he started slowly. "I am the magic selected neutral ground for Tamlin and Rhysand to begin setting a peace treaty and trade routes." He waited for your reaction, almost breaking further as you gave him none. "Do you want to see any of them?"

"Lucien and Tamlin."

Helion felt his heart shatter for Cassian, the male who had been asking about you for months now. "The general-"

"Is Azriel's brother. And probably has taken his side. Attempts to see me are probably to give him some sick sort of satisfaction."

He dropped the subject immediately. Nox was asleep, content in the High Lord's arms. "I have time before they arrive, go nap." Helion ordered it, eyes blazing a soft gold and forcing you into submission.

Your bed had never felt so soft.

Helion was walking with Nox around the Palace, smiling and cooing the little male. He was always content when he was being held, and you were so deeply asleep you hadn't even noticed Helion holding the boy to your chest as he nursed. He walked towards where Lucien and Tamlin were.

His son, his pride and joy, looked just radiant in his Day Court attire. The soft, off-white pleaded fabric draping him showed the new healthy build he had gained since Azriel and Elain's transgressions, a golden snake wrapped his bicep, new golden earrings adorned those many piercings.

Lucien paused, a look of concern etching his face when he saw Nox before shaking his head rapidly.

But it was too late, Helion was already in the room where Rhysand also stood with the Inner Circle. The Lord of Night's face fell as he looked at the Illyrian boy, looking so happy up at Helion as he dozed off.

Cassian had frozen, mid sentence with Nesta. He had tried to take a step, wanting to see the babe he immediately knew was his nephew. His eyes met Helion's pleading with permission to approach. Elain's face had paled. A mix of guilt and fear running across it before she schooled it into a faked look of hurt and sadness.

But it was Azriel's face the broke the High Lord. It was a look he knew all too well.

The look of a father who missed the birth of his child.

The look of a father who didn't know he had a child.

The look of a father mourning lost time.

Lucien moved to Helion, taking Nox before leaving the room quickly. The boy did as he always did when his head found Lucien's warm bare shoulder. He released a heavy breath, snuggling into that familiar scent and warmth. "Your mother did not call for me last night," they all heard his soft voice trailing off, speaking to their nephew softly.

"You will tell me everything I do not know," Rhysand demanded as if he was in his own court. "When the fuck was he born. Why were we not informed of her pregnancy?"

Tamlin looked to Helion, digging the shit further. "Is she in the same room as last time?" The Lord of Day nodded. "I will go see her while you all deal with this."

Helion didn't answer, walking to the centered round table and taking the head seat. "To begin, Rhysand, this is my court. You will not make demands of me in my home." They all sat, aside from Azriel. His gaze was locked on the hallway Lucien and Tamlin had gone down.

If he ran, he could catch them. He could see you. He could-

The slam of hands on a table ripped him from his thoughts, and his head snapped to Helion. The High Lord was blazing, glowing like the sun itself, heat radiating from him. "Sit. Down."

An hour later and Rhysand had the bridge of his nose pinched between his fingers. "You saw her send each letter?"

Helion rolled his eyes, nodding again. "Every month after every check up and once after the birth."

Rhys pointed to Azriel. "But you never got them?"

"My son wouldn't be in another court if I had," Azriel's voice mirrored yours. Broken, empty, mourning. Mourning what was, what he had missed and would never get back. "You're sure she sent them to me?"

Helion could have snapped his neck. "Who else would have fathered her babe? You are the one who stepped out of the bonds of marriage and mateship. Not her."

Azriel paused, a sudden look of anger gracing his face as he looked up at Elain, shadows curling his ears. Nuala appeared, setting envelopes down in front of Rhysand. "In her room. Under her bed in a locked chest. Along with every communication you had tried to send to y/n, my lord."

Feyre gasped, turning her back to Elain and leaning further into Rhysand, holding Nyx tightly between them. She remembered those first few weeks. The sleepless nights, the pain, the emotional down pour. She would not have survived without Rhysand. Without Nesta and Mor. Without Cassian and you and Azriel. Her sister, the one who had held her as darkness swallowed her mind after her son's birth, had allowed you to endure this alone.

Azriel's hands shook, reaching for that stack. He separated out the letters. 10 for him. 2 for Rhysand and Feyre. 2 for Mor. 2 for Amren. 4 for Cassian and Nesta.

Helion stood. "I will let you all process this. Call for me when you are ready to do negotiations. The sooner you all leave, the better for her."

Rhysand's eyes shot up. "You won't let us explain to her-"

"Does it change the fact that he took Elain to their marriage bed? Does it change that he signed the annulment papers." Silence filled the room. "I believe that's why she left. Correct?" Rhys grit his teeth nodding. "Then all this changes is me, someone she trusts and feels safe with right now, informing her of what happened and allowing her to decide if she wants to reach out again from that point." He made a pointed look at Elain. "Which would not matter since I cannot see you removing the parasite from your court."

Helion walked into your room to Lucien and Nox laying skin to skin, a blanket over them as Tamlin held you, long fingers running through your dark hair. "And?" His son said.

"Your mate hid the letters regarding her pregnancy." Lucien whistled. "She's a snake hiding behind beautiful scales."

Azriel had tracked down your room with his shadows easily. The inner circle had been excused for the negotiations and allowed to explore the city. Cassian had flown Elain home, Mor and Amren winnowing Nesta behind them. Cassian wanted Elain out of his house, and Azriel could not have been more grateful to his brother for having his back.

He entered the room slowly and quietly. You were placing the babe in a crib on the balcony. It was shaded from the sun, shielded to remain the perfect temperature, and yet gave him access to fresh air, to the breeze.

You turned, eyes wide the second you saw Azriel. He moved to you so quickly that you could hardly process it. One second, your feet were on the ground, and the next, arms held you tight against him. Azriel was breathing deeply, memorizing your scent all over again.

He set you down, keeping you close to his chest, and sent a prayer to the Mother. "Elain hid all the letters," he began slowly. "She kept them all in her room. I didn't know. Had I known about you, about him, I would have crawled the very depths of hell to bring you back home to me."

You didn't answer. Tears fell as your body relaxed into him. It wasn't fair. The hold he had on you. The need you still felt in your bones when he touched your skin. You ached for Azriel so deeply it echoed into your bones. You longed for his smell. His voice.

Azriel took your silence as permission to continue. "I made a mistake. I will never be able to make up for it. Elain knew the second you left, I wanted to correct this. I was so blinded by her, by the feeling of being needed like that again, that I forgot how precious your independence was. How beautiful it is."

He couldn't stop himself from kissing the top of your head. "You are all I think about. Morning, noon, and night, it is always and will always be you. I am so sorry for what I have done. I am sorry for hurting you, for ruining us, for hurting the family we should be raising together. There are no words for my remorse."

"Why?" Your voice broke as you asked. "Why wasn't I enough?"

Azriel pulled back to look at you, hand raising to hold your chin and force eye contact. "Y/n, you are not at fault for my actions. You did nothing wrong. There is no partial blame, no what ifs. I fucked up. I made a mistake and it cost both of us everything. You are the victim of my actions, not the catalyst."

He saw you process those words and saw as they sunk in. "You were and are more than I will ever deserve. I want to spend my lifetime making up for it. Becoming a male you are proud of. I want to be the father I never got to have. I want to be the husband and mate you deserve. I know it will take time, and I do not expect your forgiveness today, but if you give me a chance, I will go to my grave worshipping the ground you two walk."

"Do you want to meet our son?" He broke at the question, feeling the bond opening back on your end. "This doesn't mean we're back together. It means we need to coparent for him while we work on things." He nodded rapidly, following you to the bassinet.

It felt like the world was coming full circle. You knew it would take time, that you two had many things to discuss first. This was a needed good start, though. Your pain eased slightly as you pulled back the curtains to the crib and whispered, "Azriel, this is Nox, your son."

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho

**I have received some pretty nasty anon asks, some unconstructive comments, and a good amount of general negativity regarding this fic. If you are unhappy with the ending and want to know why I made the choices I made as the author, click #discussingherewithoutyou. Unconstructive comments will be receiving the same copy and paste answer from here forward.

My time and content are free. If you do not like them, scroll.

General Taglist:

@mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium

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@elle4404

[boyfhee]

ㅤ ꣑୧ㅤㅤ:ㅤCANDLELITㅤㅤ𝒻t.ㅤㅤ성혼

﹙10097﹚ SYNOPSIS . . . the dating scene sucks, especially when the only person you want to be with is your roommate.

꣑୧ GENRE . . . roommate au, 'i hate them but they're hot' kind of energy

꣑୧ WARNINGS . . . profanities, drinking i mean lots of drinking we need alcohol shortage here, sunghoon smokes, mentions of one night stands, one very suggestive make out scene in the fourth section, undertones of cheating but not from sunghoon or reader, implications of sex although it's very light

꣑୧ NOTES . . . hi ( _ _; ) drowning in nervousness as i'm posting this. it's my first long fic after months ... i think the last one was in may or june 23 ... so please be nice >< don't know why but this didn't turn out how i wanted it to and it's definitely not one of my proudest works, but i hope u guys like it nonetheless huhu TT happy reading and please rb and drop feedback, it's highly appreciated ^_^

001. WHERE THERE’S HEAVEN THERE’S HELL

sunghoon is spiralling again. 

a part of it is because of the endless assignments from classes, but that’s no news. he knows it’s his fault for procrastinating and waiting till two days before the due date to even think about working on them— unlike jake who somehow attends classes probably four times a week and is seen in the football fields instead, and still manages to be the first one to submit his essays. it’s admirable, annoying at most. when he sat down to do his sports science project three days before it was due, sunghoon realised why his professor gave them two months to finish it. 

but realising your mistakes and working on them to be a better version of yourself are two different things.

for one, sunghoon believes those assignments are useless. no one cares about the impact of sports on society, maybe except heeseung and jake but again, in sunghoon’s mind, those two are never important. second, he’s too perfect to be working on himself. sunghoon is the best version of himself. he was born the day his uncle died, and his dad inherited the entire chain of restaurants his family owns across the country. he’s too amazing to be worrying about getting a degree he can buy— he thinks the university should be honoured he’s choosing to study— but that’s simply because his mother doesn’t want him to turn out like his sister. 

back to the matter at hand— as he puts the beer can on the table and sits back on the couch, his eyes travel to the door yet again. seventh time in just a minute, he’s keeping a record of how you make him wait. 

if there’s one thing he hates is being irresponsible ( coming from the great king of irresponsibility himself. ) you said you’d be back by twelve, and it’s half past one in night and not a soul knows your whereabouts. thirteen texts, seven missed calls, his phone is at forty-one percent and sunghoon is at his limit. if it wasn’t for your mom he wouldn’t give two flying fucks about where you are and how you’ve been.

sunghoon is actually surprisingly obedient and well-mannered, as opposed to the popular belief. he gave you and your mother the whole tour of the apartment the day you moved in. even made some coffee which isn’t much but your mother had loved him. he could see it in the way she looked at him with those sweet eyes, holding his hands as if he was her own son, and asking him to look after you. 

‘please take care of my daughter,’ sunghoon thought he was getting married. instead of a wedding bell there were warning sirens going off. to this day he doesn’t know why she asked him that, minutes after she saw a dead cactus in the balcony that he killed by overwatering. he couldn’t even say no to her and just nodded, looking over at you briefly and noticing how you look like you were a bit embarrassed. sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s so serious about ‘taking care’ of you. he thought it would be easy, but you had to be devil’s favourite spawn and sunghoon happens to be your target.

however, he can’t take this anymore. he has a morning class and waiting till two am while drinking beer has done more damage to sunghoon than it should. he gets up from the couch with a sigh, leaving the empty cans unattended for a night as he makes a mental note to clean tomorrow. it isn’t until a click from the door stops him in his tracks. 

“i’m back,” your voice is quiet, a yawn following immediately after your words as you look down while taking off your shoes. you’ve been drinking again, sunghoon can tell it from a mile away. 

“you’re late,” he speaks over the silence, hands on his torso as he’s giving you those squinted eyes and doubtful looks. if sunghoon didn’t know any better, he would assume you fucked someone at the club with how messy you look at the moment.

“yeah well, we had to take gigi to the hospital,” your lazy voice isn’t much louder than a whisper. you stumble towards your room, a hiccup followed soon after by the same quiet and slurred tone. “she ate something weird,”

he huffs at your words, knowing it would very well be just another excuse. “you could’ve at least texted,”

“my phone died,”

“i’m sure your friends would be happy to lend you their phone,” he pauses when he feels himself getting a bit annoyed. a soft sigh falls off his lips as he looks down at the tiled floor before looking up and speaking in a much calmer voice. “i’m just saying it’s not exactly safe to be out alone on the streets this late at night,”

“i wasn’t alone,” that piques his interest. “jay drove me back,”

and sunghoon felt his whole world stop. “jay?”

“yeah, jay, park jongseong,” your voice is surprisingly sweet when you take his name and it bothers sunghoon for some reason. his face scrunches up when you bite back a smile, hoping it’s the alcohol not because of what he thinks it is. “he’s nicer than i thought,”

sunghoon is not unfamiliar with the name park jongseong.

he hears it every day on and off the campus, more often than he likes. first things first, he’s just as popular as jake, for being american, which brings sunghoon to the question— why in the world would he leave america to study in korea when jay could have attended one of the ivy leagues with his face and money?

and the second and more important question, why in the world is park jongseong dropping you home at two in the night?

sunghoon only watches you in disbelief and astonishment as you stumble to your room, mumbling something incoherently. your words ring in his ear like sirens. ‘he is better than you’ jay is better than sunghoon. he scoffs almost offensively in your direction. that has to be the biggest lie of the twenty-first century.

he follows you to your room, reaching out to grab your arms when you almost trip but you manage to balance yourself. he opens the door and turns on the lights for you. “why were you with him to begin with?”

“oh, you don’t know?” and you turn around with eyes wide open as he shakes his head like a deer in the headlight. “he asked me out,” 

sunghoon didn’t get a single ounce of sleep last night. 

it’s your fault, clearly. had you been back earlier on the time, nothing would’ve happened. and jay— sunghoon sights at the thought of him, eyes narrowing as he grits on his pen as if he’s going to break it into two. 

“dude, are you hungry?” jake pokes sunghoon by his shoulder, dragging the latter out of his trail of thoughts. 

“what?” sunghoon shoots a blank look, one that makes his friend sigh in concern. afterall, it’s not everyday he sees sunghoon chewing on a pen. “i’m not,”

“you’ve been out of it since the morning,”

and sunghoon has been out of it since jay’s name fell from your lips. 

he’s not your friend, definitely not the first guy you’ve called by his name after sunghoon. but something doesn’t sit right. even after tossing and turning in bed for the whole night, he can’t figure out what bothers him more— the fact you said jay is better than him, or the fact that he asked you out on a date.

it’s the first one, he convinces himself. who you date is none of his business, he can’t be arsed enough to care about your love life or relationship status. ( although, he does care a little because he’s nosy. ) what bothers him more is that jay is, to put it in simple words, a player. all that face and no empathy for emotions is a waste, and to think you don’t know this— or maybe you do and yet still chose to go out with him, is beyond sunghoon’s comprehension. 

“what do you think about jay?” he asks abruptly, catching jake’s attention, looking at him a little too intently for an answer. 

“he’s a nice guy,” a casual reply before he gets back to his assignment before jake looks back at sunghoon with newly found interest. “he turned in my spanish essay last week, oh and drove me back from the bar a few days ago after you ditched me. why?”

sunghoon simply shakes his head, getting back to his books even though his focus is nowhere near studies. at this point, he doesn’t know if it’s jay distracting him or you. even your words keep playing over and over again in the back of his head. jay and nice in the same sentence doesn’t seem fit. sure, he helps his friends and drops his girl back home, but that’s only three days before there’s a new girl in his arms. 

002. RUNNING OUT OF SANITY

sunghoon doesn’t hear the door click open when you come back from your classes, too busy in the balcony while humming a tune that you recognise immediately. you take off your shoes, noticing how he taps his foot along with the melody, and it’s quiet in the apartment, apart from the sound of traffic and wind rustling through the trees around.

“i don’t like people who smoke,” smoking is not on your list of likes, but you find yourself next to sunghoon whenever he’s with a cigarette. just like now, when you return from yet another one of your dates— or meet-ups as you prefer to call it right now— with jay. it wasn’t really planned. you bumped into him after classes and he was on his way back home, so you asked him for a coffee. 

he almost jumps at your sudden voice but manages to compose himself, scowing at the distaste in your expression before scoffing, the cigarette still dancing between his lips. “good think, i’m not looking forward to be liked by you,”

he studies the frown on your face, glares as if your eyes are shooting daggers in his direction. it’s amusing to him how easy it is to get on your nerves. he leans against the metal railings, hair falling over his forehead. his eyes stay on your for a few seconds before he holds the cigarette between his index and middle finger, putting it away from his mouth and blowing out the smoke in your directions. he laughs mockingly when you step back, fanning out the smoke with your hands, cursing under your breath.

“are you crazy?!” you exclaim in annoyance, coughing slightly at his poor attempt at entertainment. your frown deepens when he mumbles a quiet apology although not meaning it, from the looks of it, and lifts the cigarette back to his lips. 

“you’re back early,” he states casually, tapping the cigarette butt and watching the ash fall down from the balcony before a taunting chortle falls off his lips. “did jay dump your ass or something?”

your nose scrunches up at his actions, although mostly at the tobacco you can still smell in your air. you look down at the road, watching a mercedes passing by. “no, he had to go somewhere so he left early,”

“i knew it! he’s good for nothing,” and he drops the cigarette to the floor, crushing it with his foot even though at the back of his mind, he knows you’re going to yell at him for cleaning that up. “what kind of guy can’t even spend time with his girlfriend?”

“we’re not dating,”

“that’s worse!” he emphasises, and a pause follows as he looks at you with a confused expression. “wait— didn’t you say he asked you out?”

“he did, but he said he wants to wait until exams are over,” there’s a hint of displeasure in your voice. his eyes travel down to your fingers, especially the ring you’re fiddling with before they’re back on your face when you speak again. “we just decided to hang out,”

he practically scoffs at your words, quite literally in disbelief. a knowing sigh comes out of his mouth as he stands straight, this time standing with his back against the railing, feeling the cold metal though his thin white t-shirt. a part of him wants to laugh at your stupidity and point at how naive you are, while another part of him wants to find jay and beat him to pulp. he doesn’t know why there’s anger pooling in his stomach at the mere thought of jay just messing around with you. 

“what a sick bastard,” he huffs with a tincture of annoyance in his tone. “how much do you want to bet he’s playing with you?”

“you’re the one who’s sick,” and even though it clicks with him that you’re referring to a few minutes earlier when he smoked all in your face, sunghoon still frowns when you call him sick. “he’s just prioritising his studies, there’s nothing wrong with that. at least he doesn’t smoke while being all up my face,”

you two just bask in silence after that.

he doesn’t have much to say— actually he does, but he doesn’t know how to put it in a decent, coherent way. of course, your reaction won’t be the most pleasant if he told you he wants to punch jay’s good for nothing handsome face. he wonders what you’re thinking when he looks over at you. you seem happy whenever you talk about your supposed ‘future boyfriend,’ yet it’s evident that you’re upset. he likes to think you’re having your doubts too. it's reassuring to him for some reason— because that’s good for you, of course. if you’re upset, you have your doubts, and if you have your doubts you might not fall victim to whatever sick game jay is playing. 

“oh, actually, he doesn’t smoke,” but then you speak in a matter-of-fact way, as if comparing him to jay before giving him a mocking smile. “he’s better than you,”

those words ring in his mind for a good while. 

you go back inside and he hears you shut the door to your room as an annoyed sigh falls off his lips. hearing that jay is nice from jake was another thing, but hearing to say he’s better than him leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. and he doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way, these little changes in how he usually is, it’s new. it’s frustrating him out. 

it isn’t until his phone vibrates that he’s dragged out of his ocean of thoughts. his brows furrow when he notices the time, having realised that he basically wasted the entire noon even though he didn’t attend classes after giving heeseung an excuse that he’s sick. his eyes squint at the sender, and then a groan escaping his lips when he opens to read it. 

noh chaeun  4:15pm hoon! my last two classes have been cancelled are you up for some coffee?

sunghoon doesn’t reply, rather leaving his classmate’s messages on seen, too bothered by his inner turmoil to spend time with her. it’s not like him to be this way, to be so bothered over something that doesn’t concern him. you’re definitely not someone so significant and jay is definitely not the first guy you’re with. in fact, he has seen you kiss that guy from one of your classes— as much as he hates to recall that incident now— and had sneaked up to tell your mother about it over the phone when she had called you.

you’ve never had a serious relationship, not after meeting him. in his head, you always came back to him and he’d be lying if he hadn’t joked about it with his friends during the initial few weeks after you had moved in. when he had mentioned to jake that you’re pretty and his friend had teased him a few days later, saying his ‘crush’ was with this other guy, sunghoon, did in fact, say he doesn’t care because you always come back to him; or rather his apartment, actually, but whatever fits the joke. 

that day, he had a good laugh out of it and the joke died back then itself, more so after he started complaining about you to his friends. your habits, your actions, the things you say that tick him off, your quirky and quick remarks— everything. perhaps, even about your habit of arriving late on weekends from parties and ruining his sleep because you forget the key most of the time, so he has to wake up and open the door for you, but not guys, never guys. 

it hurts his head to even try and figure it out, to find the reasoning behind the pang in his chest every time you mention jay. he likes to think it’s just harmless competition although for no reason, even though both of them have done plenty of things to piss each other off just for the fun of it. sunghoon thinks he can live with it and walks back inside to the living room, until he sees you walking out of your room on phone with someone, the name of he who shall be mentioned rolling off your tongue again, and he finally pulls out his phone with a frustrated sigh. 

sunghoon  4:21pm sure, i’ll pick you up in ten

“actually, my mom wants to invite your family over for dinner this weekend,” the girl in front of him speaks with a smile after muttering a quiet thank you to the waiter after he gets their order. “she’s very grateful  for the donation your dad made for our art gallery and wants to thank properly,”

“talk to my parents, then,” it’s a simple reply, too bland and forced for her liking.

sunghoon hasn’t spared her a single look in the past ten minutes that they’ve been sitting together at the table. firstly, he doesn’t know why he drove to a restaurant when she asked for a coffee. it’s not even close to dinner time, and the awkward yet sweet smile on her face didn’t make it better for him, so he ordered starters and drinks to drag their little impromptu dinner out. 

“sunghoon, to be honest,” chaeun tries to strike up a conversation again, despite the constant lack of effort from his side. “i want you—”

“hey, isn’t that jongseong?” and he cuts her off immediately, finger pointing outside the glass panes beside them as he stares in the direction behind her with brows knit together in shock. “who’s that with her?”

“jongseong?” she repeats the name before turning her head, forming an ‘o’ when she spots a familiar figure through the multitude on the streets. “ah, that’s myung jihye. she has been pursuing him for a while. i guess he finally agreed,”

“they’re dating?!” his voice is full of surprise and disbelief unlike hers, so seemed to be happy for the girl instead. he stares outside with a heavy silence as the couple disappears between the crowd before looking at the girl in front of him.

“oh, i wouldn’t say that…i don’t know but it’s possible they are.” it doesn’t miss her attention how sunghoon’s fingers tighten around the fork. “everybody in our major knows jihye has crush on him and they’re probably a thing by now,”

and he wishes you were here with him right now so that he could show you the true colours of the dear guy you’ve been going out with, the one who’s supposedly ‘better’ than him. he wants you to realise that his words weren’t false and he isn’t sick, after all, and if you’d cry, he would be down to tell you it’s not the end of the world. that there are a hundred other guys better than jay, ones who won’t even breathe in front of another woman, who’d treat you better— hell, i can treat you better if you ever give me a chance— and then a pause in his train of thoughts.

he looks at chaeun, who’s looking back at him with a perplexed look and her own set of questions. his mind replays those words yet again, and he screams internally.

what the heck?!

surprisingly enough, sunghoon has been thinking about jay for the whole evening now, obviously not in a good way. his eyes keep travelling to the knife stand on the kitchen island occasionally and every single time, he has to convince himself that murder is not the right answer to anything. 

for some reason, he can’t stop imagining your smiles while on date with jay. not that he has ever seen those— wish i could— as he slaps himself out of his state of mind yet again. not only that man is playing with you but on jihye who’s apparently his girlfriend? he lets out the ugliest scoff known to mankind, because in sunghoon’s head, jay is a sick joke made by biology.

he waits for you to return from your shopping spree for about an hour, having beer as a company. he tries to stay awake although his eyes get droopy, and then every ounce of sleep leaves his body when he hears the door unlock. 

“yn,” he practically jumps out of the couch, it almost scares you. he accidentally bumps into the living room table on the way, knocking an empty can of beer to the floor but too busy to bother picking it up. “i have to tell—” his eyes go down to the eleven shopping bags in your hands, as he counts them. “— wait, what did you shop so much for?” 

“oh, i have to attend a family wedding next month,” his chest feels warm when he sees you smiling and looking so excited, and it’s making him go crazy on the inside because he doesn’t know what is happening to him. for some reason, he starts imagining you in a gown, like the one you wore for the fresher’s party, but then he forces his mind to get back to the point. “i’m thinking of asking jay to be my date,”

and his heart drops down to his stomach.

this has to be a fucking joke, and he tells himself. for a split second, he thinks he didn’t hear you properly. maybe you said jake because, well, jake did tweet a ‘date for rent’ form five months ago when he needed money to buy tickets for a post malone concert that cost more than his gentle monster glasses ( not that he got any money but at least they got a good laugh out of it. ) 

you remove your shoes and put the shopping bags on the couch before sitting down as well, letting out a heavy sigh. “you look like you saw a ghost,”

“a ghost would’ve been better,” he catches you looking at him when he mumbles under his breath, sort of grateful you didn’t hear him before sunghoon would rather not have another argument with you over how jay is not only a bad choice, he’s the worst choice. 

he looks over at you when you pull out your phone, fingers fluttering over the screen as you text someone with a giddy smile. he considers telling you what he had seen earlier, but god, he loved to see you smile like that. the way you press your lips together to suppress a grin, looking ever so happy as if you have won a lottery. he doesn’t think you’ve ever smiled like that at him, and it aggravates him even more when he realises that you probably smile like that every time you see jay. 

jay is getting everything he isn’t deserving of, and it pisses sunghoon off down to his bones. 

but again, he can’t bring himself to tell you the truth. you look too happy for your own good, it pains him physically to even imagine your reaction when you’ll come to know the truth. and then he pulls himself together, telling himself that it is your fault in the first place to trust someone like jay and ignore the warning signs he was giving you. 

in the end, he leaves without having any further conversations with you, going to bed two hours earlier than usual even though he knows he isn’t going to get any sleep. sunghoon is convinced he’s losing his mind, faster than a day ago actually. he lets out a frustrated groan and covers himself with his blanket, hoping to catch some sleep. 

it’s going to be yet another long day tomorrow.

003. A CHANGE OF STANCE

sunghoon thinks you’re hot.

what the fuck?

“i asked something,” you remind, pulling him out of his trail of thoughts and he flinches slightly, making your brows furrow in confusion. “how do i look?”

“huh— what? oh,” he takes in your appearance again. hair down, make up done— you’re wearing your favourite lip tint? and the best dress he has seen you in so far, looking so mind blowing it actually blows his mind and short circuits his brain. 

even your favourite lip tint … sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s looking at your lips in the first place but little does he know he’s fucked. 

absolutely. completely. fucked.

nonetheless, he manages to compose himself, clearing his throat and sitting up ever so elegantly on the couch, legs crossed, the magazine still in his hands. “you look…t-terrific,” 

you can’t help but get even more confused at his words, wondering if it was a bad idea to even ask him for his opinion, even though you play along. “like in a good way or a bad way?”

“in a terrific way,” he blurts out, eyes wide open as panic settles in slowly inside his stomach, and he’s stuttering, shocked, surprised, fucked, again. “you look terrific in a terrific way…so terrifically terrific in the most terrific way possible,” 

“are you high?” 

well, he would say he is! never in the two years that he has known you did sunghoon think he’d find himself floored, figuratively, and speechless, literally, at the sight of you. and he’s not saying you look bad on other days. you look good, in fact. good as in plain and presentable, but never in a good good way and definitely not in a hot way, of course. 

“anyway, i’m going out. receive my parcel for me if it arrives,” you move to put on your shoes, taking a few seconds to pick between the two you think would suit your outfit. for a moment, you consider asking him to help you choose— as you look at him up and down peripherally, and he looks terrified. and you shrug it off, grabbing one of your loafers.

“where are you going?” he asks after a good minute of silence, sounding calmer than earlier as he gets off the couch and walks up to you. his nose scrunches up in disapproval as your hands move to one of your jimmy choos for a brief second, before you decide to go back to your initial pick.

“date,” he takes a moment to register your words, despite this happening many times.

a date. he scoffs softly, looking away, arms crossed. 

a date, again. sunghoon doesn’t give a fuck. 

“with jay,” you continue, this time with a sweet smile on your face that makes his heart flutter for some reason. maybe, he does give a fuck. 

now, sunghoon should feel bad for his fellow friend of a friend because he’s on a date with you, but instead he wants to snap his neck in two. the name is starting to give him an ick— jay this, jay that. you’re hanging out with jay, having coffee with jay, going on a date with jay, shopping with jay, next would be going to bed with jay— he pauses immediately, shaking his head. he doesn’t really like the sound of that.

“whatever,” he tells himself when you walk out of that door, looking all pretty and excited. he doesn’t know why he’s getting so worked up over a date, that too with someone who— according to sunghoon and chaeun— is dating someone else. he would pay to see you back home all miserable and he would point fingers at you and laugh, saying he told you already while you had your conscience and rationality clogged up with the possibility of getting dicked down. 

but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re on a date with jay fucking park. and you’re looking hot. 

he sighs, slouching back on the couch, looking outside at the bright blue skies and then sighs again. he needs to be lobotomized.

it’s three in the noon and sunghoon is drowning himself in misery and pity. and soju.

a glass after another and then another, along with two empty bottles already on the table. even the owners are giving him a weird look and heeseung can only let him ruin his reputation so much.

“there, there,” the senior takes the half empty bottle of soju from his hand and puts it aside, sighing pitifully at sunghoon. “that’s enough for today. you need to stop drinking,”

“heeseung,” sunghoon looks up at the guy in front of him, looking horribly pitiful, eyes a bit unfocused from the alcohol settling in his system. “do you know yn?”

and heeseung pauses for a few moments, not knowing what prompted him to ask this question. more so when you and heeseung went to the same highschool and even were in the music club. he nods slightly in doubt, raising his glass to his lips. “of course,”

“do you think he’s pretty?”

“of course,”

“do you think she’s hot?”

“of course,” it takes heeseung quite a few seconds to respond and sunghoon sort of wants to punch him in the face for agreeing because he feels a certain way when others find you hot— but he would claim it’s soju giving him heartburns. “why are you even asking this suddenly?”

“she went on a date with jay,” he responds in the most miserable and sullen voice known to mankind. his shoulders practically slouching at the mention of he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned, finger tracing the rim of the glass in front of him with incoherent whines falling off his lips.

“so what?” jake interjects, beckoning the owner for yet another bottle for soju. it was necessary, as heeseung had warned earlier while arriving at the restaurant, considering sunghoon’s impromptu text about wanting to meet up. 

“jake, did you hear what i said? she’s on a date with jay. park. jong. seong,” the youngest spells out every syllable, sitting up straight as he gets defensive. “she thinks he’s madly in love with her or something but she’s wrong! the day i went out with chaeun, i saw him with jihye and guess what? chaeun said everyone knows they’re a thing but apparently, yn doesn’t know this. i’ve told her so many times that he is not worth it but she won’t understand she’s fucking dumb oh my god,”

and…silence.

absolute fucking maddening silence that made sunghoon go even more insane before jake finally decides to speak, albeit in disbelief. 

“that monologue was unnecessary,” the foreigner pours in another glass for the three of them, filling them up completely, knowing this is going in a new direction yet a one that has been anticipated by both him and heeseung. “besides, since when do you care about her?”

“she’s my roommate,”

“you like her,” heeseung exclaims, and silence follows again for a few seconds before sunghoon gasps scandalously, slamming his glass down on the table which turns a few heads in their direction as jake mutters an embarrassed apology for it.

“i don’t,” sunghoon speaks in a voice much calmer than his previous tone, even leaning in towards the table to put emphasis on his words. jake pours himself another glass, scoff at his words while shaking his head mockingly which only pisses him off more.

“i knew this would happen,” heeseung continues, stating it as a matter of fact while nudging jake to pour him a glass as well. “saw this coming from a mile away when you cried over her going on a blind date the last time you got drunk,”

he can’t point out when that must’ve happened, but he doesn’t refute his words, simply letting his eyes travel across the room for a few moments. the frown on his lips deepens when he meets jake’s knowing gaze as he gets defensive once again. “i’m telling you, i don’t like her,”

“you said that about hello kitty but she’s everywhere in your room now,” he turns his phone with the screen up when he feels jake’s eyes on it, or particularly on the hello kitty sticker on his phone cover as the boy nudges him for another glass. “go on, you’ll need it.”

and sunghoon does, drinking more than he usually does thanks to jake filling his glass again and again for the sake of his sob story. the cab drops him in front of his apartment and he stumbles his way to the elevator. the silence sobers him out for some reason as he leans against the walls of the elevator and thinks about you.

perhaps you’re still with jay, sharing smiles and stories, kisses if you’re brave enough. he likes to think you are not, that you would chicken out— it makes him feel better about himself. he imagines you holding hands with him and then shrugs that thought off his mind just as quickly, huffing at the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth as he walks out of the elevator once it reaches his floor.

sunghoon planned to take a shower and sleep, but every thought water downs to nothing when he spots you crouching next to the door with knees pressed up to your chest. he can’t see your face, but he knows you’re sad, and it makes him stop in front of you, his heart accelerating when you look up at him with glistening eyes.

you look miserable.

and sunghoon has no reaction. he’s frozen, hands on his side as he stares at you. he was supposed to laugh at you for your stupidity. but you look so utterly sad and heart broken, god, he wants to punch jay in his throat. yet again, every single thought leaves his mind when his eyes fall back on your face, his hands instinctively opening out to you as he speaks in a voice as soft as a feather.

“let’s go inside,”

004. CANDLELIT 

“he said it was a bet,” you speak over the silence, fiddling with your fingers. you look up at sunghoon— who’s sitting with legs crossed in front of you while you’re curled up in one corner of the couch. “and that he never meant to drag it out for so long but he didn’t know how to tell me,”

“a bet?” he scoffs bitterly, looking away for a fraction of a second before his eyes are back on you. “what an asshole,” 

it’s not the first time sunghoon has said that. in fact, asshole is all and the only word he uses to define jay. you still think it was a stretch, for jay isn’t that bad. sure, he lied to you and played with your feelings— which you will never accept that you had feelings for him because you don’t want to look pathetic— but he wasn’t rude. well, at least he paid for all the three dates you two went on with the locations being some high end restaurants or bakeries. 

on the other hand, sunghoon stares at you in silence. his eyes trace over your sullen face, and then to your fingers. for a second, he considers holding your hands…roommates can do that at least, right? to comfort one another, but then he catches you looking up at him and he averts his gaze to a distant corner. “don’t start crying now!”

“i’m not! i didn’t even like him that much…” and he can’t help but suppress his smile at the pout on your face as you refuse to look at him. it’s adorable, he never thought he would ever say that, but it’s true. your mannerisms are cute, you’re cute, and it’s eating his brain cells.

“is that so? you talked about him like you two were in love or something,”

“stop it!”

he stares at you quietly for a few seconds again. even though you’re being defensive out of embarrassment right now, trying to prove to him that you’re not heartbroken, sunghoon knows you’ll be crying the moment you’re behind the closed doors of your room. on other days, he wouldn’t care so much. not more than giving a few pats on a back and telling you to suck it up despite the concern in his voice. today, however, he feels differently.

you got played. it’s your heart that’s broken. you feel like a fool, and yet sunghoon is sitting in front of you, trying to find words amidst awkwardness and hesitation. his heart feels heavy for you. it’s unfathomable on his part.

he suddenly remembers the day you mentioned that jay is better than him. he almost scoffs at that, again. well, you might harbour feelings for the american guy but at least sunghoon never had you holding back your tears. and he swears it would never come to that, if you ever have feelings for him because sunghoon would be a better boyfriend— and then he comes back to his senses as soon as those words register inside his brain, cheeks heating up at the sudden thought before he clears his throat. 

“do you want ramen?” he manages to change the topic ever so swiftly, getting up from the couch and already walking to the kitchen without waiting for your response. apparently, getting away from you would ease his heartbeat, although hearing your voice has just as much effect on him as your presence or a mere thought of you.

“are you cooking?”

he lets out a breathy laugh at your words, getting two packs of ramen from the shelf. “of course, do you think i’d ask you to cook when you look like you went through a divorce and lost the custodies of all your three kids?” 

you frown at his words, although ending up laughing at them just a second later. it’s hard to not laugh at how silly he is sometimes, if you ignore his annoying tendencies. sunghoon puts the water to boil, fighting back a smile at the sound of your laughter. it’s better than seeing you all sad over a guy who doesn’t deserve you.

you get off the couch as well, making your way to the kitchen, wanting to help him since he listened to your sob story. it’s quiet, and you hear slight rumbling outside as you take a quick look at the weather outside through the windows and then within a few seconds, thunder pierces through the silence hanging in the room. 

sunghoon flinches visibly, freezing in his stance before the sound of heavy rain fills the kitchen. he turns on the electric stove and it blows out. all the lights in the apartment go out, darkness settling in and disturbed just as quickly as the room fills with bright flashes of light, illuminating your face for a short second before it’s dark again.

“wait, i’ll get my phone— oh,” you reach out for the back pocket of your trousers, quickly get your phone and turn it on for the flash light before it powers off. “out of battery,”

he takes a blind step into the darkness when it thunders again and he notices you standing with your arms around yourself when the light surges in the room for a moment again. he hopes you won’t push him away if he puts his arm around you, but then you two bump into each other. a quiet apology finds its way out of your lips, and he can tell you’re flustered. 

“where are the candles?” he asks to distract you from the fact that he’s holding your hand and pulling you aside gently, so you don’t crash into each other again. your hands feel oddly warm in this cold weather, and it only flutters his heart even more.

“second shelf from the right i think,” your voice is interrupted by thunder again and your hands instinctively tighten around his fingers. and then a loud thud follows, causing you to gasp slightly. “are you okay?”

“i can’t fucking see,” his voice is strained, oozing off pain as he lets go off your hands. you open your mouth to speak before he bumps into something again. something falls off the counter, perhaps the spoon by the sound of it and he apologises shortly after. it’s harder to navigate around his own apartment, more than he had imagined.

sunghoon manages to find the candles, setting them on the counter with pure intuition before lighting one of it up with the lighter he always carries around in his pocket. he turns around, almost bumping into you and before he could say anything, he sees you pressed up against one of the counters, face illuminated by the dim candle light. 

you’re close, too close, he’s afraid you can hear his heart going crazy at the proximity. his mind is telling him to step aside but he’s too lost looking in your eyes, ( as you are too ) with you looking so impossibly beautiful under the faint golden glow. 

“is this okay?” he whispers softly and you simply nod, not a word coming out of your mouth as you find yourself entranced by his face. sunghoon has always been aphrodite’s son, as his admirers would call him, and now that you’re seeing him so closely, you’re realising he’s something much more beautiful.

it doesn’t slip your attention how his gaze settles on your lips for a quick second, your body tensing up at the sudden movement. your breath hitches as he leans closer, dipping his head down. your heart is racing while he feels like his heart has stopped— it’s timeless, as he finds himself just a few centimetres away from your lips, not wanting to stop even though he gives you a chance to pull back, whispering softly, “can i?”

you nod. and sunghoon doesn’t waste another second, capturing your lips with his. 

it’s still at first, with your lips only pressed up together for a few seconds. it’s only a few seconds after he pulls back ever so slightly, and then tilts his head to the other side and goes in for another kiss, this time moving his lips slowly against yours. he feels you tense up for a brief while and then melting as you kiss him back, your fingers lacing around his tenderly. you flinch when it thunders again, breaking the kiss, but feeling shivers down your spine as you feel his breath on your lips. 

he takes a few seconds, fingers ghosting up your hands to rest on your waist, tugging you closer as he brushes his lips against yours. “focus on my lips,”

and he kisses you again, this time a bit more firmly, albeit it’s slow and gentle at first, his lips moving against yours in a way that's both comforting and exciting. but as the moments pass, he presses in deeper, more insistently. he lets his body press more firmly against yours, his chest touching yours as his tongue gently teases at the seam of your lips. it was working, the way his lips move against yours, it calms your nerves from the thunder but lights them up again when he nibbles gently on your lower lip, his fingers digging into the skin of your waist as he continues to kiss you so fervently. 

it takes a passing second for you to realise what you’re doing. it surprises you, however not enough to pull back, or maybe the way his tongue feels against yours stops you from doing so. you’d be lying if you say you hadn’t thought of kissing him before— as early as two days after moving in. and now that you’re actually kissing him, everything feels like a fever dream.

he tucks your chin up with his fingers, pulling you in closer to deepen the kiss. he is a good kisser, sunghoon uses that to boast about himself, he has always been good at this— kissing, bragging, making your knees weak, and all you could do was melt into him wet and sloppy kisses that he plants on your skin. 

he dips his head down to your neck, pressing sloppy, open mouthed kisses down the column of your throat, pulling your blouse aside to get a better access to your collarbones and shoulders. it felt like his body has a mind of its own, and he’s only following right behind. when a soft gasp leaves your lips, he moves back to your lips again, wanting to swallow every little sound you make that makes his mind haywire. 

your breaths are heavy, hands around his neck with fingers grazing the skin of his nape. a movement that makes him moan softly in the kiss as he presses you against the counter, holding you between his arms. his hand that's resting on your hip moves up, tracing the curve of your waist and then sliding under your shirt to rest on your bare skin, lips curling up in a subtle smirk as he hears you gasp yet again. 

“sunghoon—” you pull back, getting a quick glance at his half-lidded eyes when the lightning from the thunderstorm fills the room. he can still feel your laboured breathing on his lips and it does nothing but pull him in even more. after all, sunghoon would be lying if he said he didn’t imagine doing this with you.

“we’ll stop,” he pecks your lips, then trailing his lips down your jawline and to your neck, leaving a trail of gentle kisses along your skin. “when the candle goes out,” 

005. WHERE THE LINE FADES

when sunghoon wakes up the next morning, he’s met with cold empty sheets on the side and the memories from last night start flooding his mind. his heartbeat accelerates at the mere thought of you, especially how you were last night and every time his name fell off your lips in bliss and pleasure— he would’ve preferred waking up to you rather than emptiness. 

he lays idly for a few minutes and stares at the ceiling, looking for where it all had started. was it the day you told him jay asked you out? maybe not, he doesn’t like to think of himself as a jealous person. it must’ve been when you asked for his opinion on your outfit, he tells himself, you looked too good to be true that day. a few seconds more and he sits up with a soft groan, seemingly unable to find answers to any of his questions.

the weather seems to have improved as he notices the cosy sunlight outside. he slips on this shirt before walking down to the shared bathroom, rubbing his eyes softly and brushing his fingers through his hair with a sigh. he puts his hand on the door knob and looking up in surprise when it opens on the other side.

“oh,” the slight hint of shyness on your face doesn’t escape his gaze, just like how enchanting you look this early in the morning with hair wet from the shower. you bite slightly on your lower lip before the awkwardness in the air is disturbed by your voice. “morning,”

actually, it must’ve all started the day you moved in.

“morning,” he replies back, rubbing his nape and looking away. the weight of questions lingering around makes it hard for him to look in your eyes. “would you like to have breakfast?”

you nod and follow him into the kitchen after making a short trip to your room. 

you steal a few glances at him while eating your breakfast, feeling your palms sweat at the thought of bringing it up to him. you avoid it for a few minutes, tossing the question around in your head while trying to make small talks about the ketchup, as bad as it could get. it feels a bit suffocating until you finally decide to address the elephant in the room. “so about last night—” 

“it was a mistake,” he cuts you off immediately, a heavy pause following shortly after. he looks up in your eyes for the first time since the morning. “let’s just forget it,”

and his words leave a bitter taste in your mouth. it could’ve been just another one night stand for you had it not been with sunghoon— your roommate, the person you see everyday, the person who managed to give you butterflies the day you moved in. your fingers tighten around the spoon and you consider arguing back for a moment before you push that idea further back in your head.

it could be just another thing added to the lists of things that have been buried, like the time you and sunghoon almost kissed in the elevator last year.

“right,” you nod quietly, convincing yourself that it’s not a big deal. that he’s just another guy in your life like jay. actually, you don’t feel like wanting to compare them anymore. you don’t know where the line marking the difference fades. “of course, yeah,”

you don’t even like the sound of that.

“yeah,”

you don’t wait another minute before leaving your unfinished breakfast on the table and going to your room. his eyes follow your movements, conscience nudging him to chase after you. he contemplates it for a while, and then you walk out with your bag. “i’ll see you after classes,”

and then sunghoon doesn’t see you for the rest of the morning.

or the day, in fact. usually, you two end up bumping into each other at least once, but sunghoon doesn’t see you around for the whole day. he skips spanish, deciding to go back to his apartment earlier than usual. he turns on the tv, deciding to watch a football watch with beer on the side while waiting for you. an hour passes, then another, and another.

there’s no sign of you.

it isn’t until he rings up a few of your friends that he hears that you’re staying over at giselle’s for the night. he wouldn’t blame you, couldn’t, not after everything that went down a night ago. you needed some space and so did he, but somewhere inside he wondered if he should’ve been honest with you when you brought up that topic during breakfast instead of saying the first thing that came to his mind and dismissing it.

but, he dismisses it again, letting you be on your own for as long as you need, knowing you’d come back soon.

which you do, the very next day, much to his surprise. he had expected you to avoid him for at least a week. he notices the way you look when you return early in the morning, tired and exhausted as if you hadn’t got a single ounce of sleep. there’s silence engulfing him but you walk to your room before he could even open his mouth to speak. and then you ignore him for the rest of the day.

he starts feeling annoyed at some point, trying to come up with a reason for your actions. he tries striking up conversations with you and you give short responses, or just nod. when you walk away without answering him when he asked about your day, sunghoon wanted to grab your wrist and pull you back for a second, but he dismisses that idea just as soon as it pops up in his head. he doesn’t even realise how quickly time passes in silence, not until he returns from heeseung’s apartment after spending two nights and one day with him and jake and checks his phone, realising it’s already close to being a week till you’re gone radio silent. he notices a few texts, mostly his study group that have been planning meet-ups to study, one that he rarely attends. his eyes especially squint in confusion at the texts from your mother, saying she had been trying to get in touch with you but getting no response. 

he was on his way to his room when he heard the door unlock. a pause, the click of the doorknob strikes through the silence, followed by your footsteps. he takes a few seconds to sort out his thoughts before speaking. “your mom texted me since you weren’t picking up her phone,”

“my phone died,” you give a simple response, almost too quickly for his liking. he lets his eyes follow your movements as you take off your shoes and jacket, putting it on the couch. 

it takes him back to the day you told him about jay asking you out. 

it was exactly the same— you arrived late, your phone had died. he was asking the same questions, albeit laced with annoyance. today, it’s hesitation, maybe slight doubt. sunghoon can’t stop you from seeing jay, but the idea of you being with him bothers him more than expected. so, he follows up with yet another question. 

“where have you been?” he asks, wanting to maintain a casual demeanour even though his heart is pounding in his chest just from being near you. he isn’t expecting any response, actually, however he’s met with surprise when you actually reply. 

“with jay,” the words fall from your mouth as if you’re used to them, used to saying his name. there’s an awkward pause before you clarify. “we had dinner together. he wanted to apologise properly,”

“that’s— that’s great,” he manages to squeeze out, but sunghoon thinks jay could’ve left you alone instead of meeting you if he wanted to apologise so bad.

you definitely had feelings for jay, even though they didn’t go as deep for you to come home sobbing your eyes out the day you learnt the truth. to sunghoon, that is enough of a reason to hate him even more. just the mere thought of your heart sinking whenever you’d even think of jay made him fist his hands, nails almost digging in the palm of his hands. 

sunghoon doesn’t have much experience with girls. in fact, none at all. flings are one thing, and girlfriends another. he has had both— none too serious. the first time someone asked him out was in highschool, although he’s surprised it didn’t happen much earlier. that time, just agreed to go out with her because his friends were in relationships too and he didn’t want to fall behind. it wasn’t soon before it turned into a competition after he got into university. not his best self, it isn’t something he’s proud of now that he thinks about it. 

and sunghoon isn’t half better than jay in that aspect, although obviously not as bad as to bet on going on a date with another girl while he already has a girlfriend. however, if you had feelings for him— as he thinks while watching you walk to your room— he wouldn’t let a single tear fall from your lips. 

“about that night,” he follows you into your room, practically hearing his heartbeat echo through his ears. he gulps nervously when he notices you looking at him with a sliver of hope in your eyes. “it wasn’t a mistake,”

“oh,” and you stop in your tracks, having no idea how to respond. an awkward pause follows as you bite your lower lip habitually before speaking, feigning a casual tone. “well, we can still put it behind—”

“i don’t want to,” he blurts out, cutting you off mid sentence. you notice how his voice is quiet as always, yet there’s panic and anxiousness behind those eyes. “i mean, i tried to, but it’s difficult. you’re always on my mind,”

there’s a silver of determination behind his voice. it’s surprising and equally anticipated. sometimes, he feels like he thinks of you every minute no matter what he’s doing. it was never this bad, these days even the regular banters between you two give him butterflies. and sunghoon understand that he might be far from your type in men. perhaps, you actually prefer someone like jay, who treat you to a fancy dinner to apologise, or maybe that guy from a few months ago who can’t remember the name of. 

you and sunghoon can be polar opposites and he would still be standing here, fingers fidgeting nervously with the hem of his denim jacket, looking so uncharacteristically out of place. he would choose to have this talk again, as much as he hates confronting, because it never about who your type is and always about the fact that you’re sunghoon’s type— as he realises this when you tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, looking at him with lips pressed together. you look cute, more so when you’re awkward, and he can’t believe he’s coming to terms with this but god, he is falling for you. 

he is falling hard, and falling deep. it’s nothing like him, you make him nervous, almost as if knocking him out of air whenever your eyes meet, and he would gladly suffocate to death. it was quiet with too many questions hanging above his head, and he noticed the way you fiddle with your fingers with the cutest expression known to mankind and sunghoon knew he was screwed. 

“i’ve got it so bad for you, yn, really,” —he speaks as if he’s out of breath due to the nervousness— “really bad. i tried to keep you out of here,” he said, pointing at his chest, cheeks flushing red as the words fell off his lips. “but you won’t go, you just won’t.”

and sunghoon has never been so…out of place, for the lack of better words. it’s amusing, even to you, the way he is right now. the sunghoon from three weeks ago wouldn’t even care but he, now, is pouring out all of himself, as if stripping him naked of his emotions and letting him see what lies behind the suave smiles and prideful words. as if showing you how easily you have him going crazy, right out of his mind and how he can’t help but just stare blankly as his eyes travel down to your lips occasionally— as they do now— and it leaves you in a frenzy when you notice it. 

“i can’t stop thinking about that night— not in a weird way, just…” and you’re just standing in front of him, trying not to laugh at his antics. he’s cute, a pause, what the fuck. and then you just go along with it, knowing there’s no point denying it anymore now that you two are having this conversation.

you notice his little mannerisms, like how he can’t look in your eyes for the life in him, how he keeps shifting his weight from one leg to the other. it’s adorable, especially the way he can have all the attention in the room with just his mere presence. that’s sunghoon for you, with a presence so heavy it’s loud even when he’s silent. it’s so loud you can practically hear his mind, of all the words you know he wants to say but can’t. there’s a hitch in his breath, his eyes meet yours for the first time in the past few minutes— i like you— they say, and the next thing sunghoon knows is that you’re kissing him. 

“i like you too,” you whisper against his lips after pulling back, your lips brushing against his. sunghoon feels like every single nerve in his body has been sparked, giving him goosebumps when you slowly intertwine your fingers with his.

of course, you know how he feels even before he could say it out loud. maybe, he just made it obvious for you to guess, otherwise sunghoon likes to think of himself as someone who can hide his feelings well. he lets go of your hands as soon as he feels you lace your fingers with his and instead, cups your cheeks ever so tenderly and leans down to capture your lips with his, smiling in the kiss. “i love you,”

˃ᗜ˂ : if you made it till here, i'm sending each one of u kisses >< thank u for reading, i hope u liked it. ps i had to put my heart aside and write jay's name ... never again will i put my man thru this huhu TT he's too good to do these things

[miaoua3]

heyy can you make one for how svt would act as a bf with his gf when they are in front of other members? im sorry for my broken grammar and i love your writing

hey! of course i can, this sounds so fun to write! (and your grammar is perfectly fine sweetheart have more faith in yourself❤️)

Seventeen-How Would They Act With Their GF In Front Of The Memebers?

seungcheol: i said this once but ill say it again- i definitely think he and you would become mom and dad of the group, meaning that you two would either be more laid back, in your own world while talking quietly between each other as the others cause chaos which you two would need to break off if you don’t want coups to be paying a fine for the damages, OR you would join the other members in causing havoc on occasion, it all depends on the mood really. but one thing is for certain- he wouldn’t stop looking at you with these gentle and loving eyes as you talk either to him or to the others, he just loves looking at you so much (he gets teased for this so much by his members). not that big on pda but will kiss the side of your head every now and then and will hold your hand the entire time❤️

jeonghan: our little mischievous angel would definitely get you in on his schemes, you two are always plotting something new and new ways how to tease the other members- one time when all of you got incredibly drunk, you made dino believe that he for real was invisible, which was hilarious to the two of you until the drunk dino started crying to seungcheol and you two got scolded by him for making his youngest son cry >:( another one that isn’t that big on pda but will kiss the back of your hand every few minutes as a way to show his affections for you. if all of you are playing some type of game he most definitely will pair up with you and cheat in order to make you two win because…does he need a reason to make his queen win and be happy? didn’t think so

joshua: this might be one of the members who gets teased the most for looking at you like a lovesick puppy- he’s just staring at you the entire time with THAT smile of his. definitely glued to you the entire night, spends the whole time looking at you and telling you how pretty you are, kissing your cheek and tucking hair behind your ear- he’s just so… *dreamy sigh* he’s the most perfect boyfriend ever, he just can’t help himself that you are so pretty and good and kindhearted, he simply has to try his hardest to be the best boyfriend for you (even if it makes his members jokingly puke from how sweet he’s being to you)

jun: the silliest boyfriend out of them all, he will just try extra hard to be the funniest member that night because he doesn’t want his baby to be laughing at other’s jokes >:( pls pay ALL the attention to him, he wants you to only look at him and laugh at his silly little jokes and hug him and show him just how much you love him. the members don’t even want to say anything about how disgusting you two are being because it’s so rare for their junnie to be so opened and carefree around somebody so they just let you two be in your own world, laughing and clinging to each other the entire night. also one of the clingy boyfriends, he just loves how warm you feel like when he hugs you so he never wants to let go of you

hoshi: i trully believe that hoshi needs somebody that will match his freak, meaning: somebody who will be obnoxiously loud at times, somebody who he can be absolutely wild with, somebody who is just as clingy as he is, always hugging him and kissing his cheeks, puckering their lips while he’s being a cute and telling him “you are so cute” through a pout- he just needs somebody who he can be young and stupid with. his members definitely hate it when you two are together and when there’s alcohol around you, jeonghan is already rolling his eyes and seungcheol already feels the headache he will end up with at the end of the night but you two are so happy with each other so…how could they ever say anything? another member of the “clingy bfs” club, he will have an arm around your shoulders the entire time, rubbing his face against your shoulder- all nine yards, hoshi isn’t afraid of pda, the pda is afraid of hoshi

wonwoo: one of the most attentive boyfriends out of svt, he will cut the bbq meat for you, will refill your glass all the time, will make sure that you drink enough water if you’re drinking- he’s just so laid back yet so sweet, he just wants to make sure you’re having a really good time with his members. actually prefers it when you’re socialising with the other boys rather than staying next to him 24/7, he just wants to see his family get along well with the love of his life, but if you choose to stay by his side and quietly talk about whatever book or game or news you have, he won’t complain. unlike hoshi, wonu definitely keeps clear line on pda, holding your hand and kissing the top of your head is the furthest he will go to, he just doesn’t like rubbing his love for you in other people’s faces, so he’s definitely very low-key

woozi: jihoon never wanted to be the center of attention, that’s why he always preferred staying in the background, letting his members spew nonsense while he laughed at the said nonsense. and still, nothing much has changed since then, except that now he sometimes has you by his side to laugh together with and sometimes has you join his members in spewing nonsense. whichever the case, he always enjoys it, he always has this wide smile grazing his lips, looking at all of you (but especially you) with love-filled eyes. definitely won’t initiate any form of physical affection because he doesn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but if you hug him while drunk…he won’t turn you away per say, but he won’t cling to you like a certain somebody would *cough, cough* hoshi *cough*, just a little rub of the hand on your lower back and that’s the furthest he’s willing to let it go. if he wants to hug you and kiss you and shower you in affection, he will do so at home, where his members can’t see (and can’t tease him about it)

minghao: surprisingly goes WILD whenever you two are around his members, he just feels so comfortable with all of his favourite people around him that he isn’t afraid of making a fool out of himself in front of you all- matter of fact, he will drag into his craziness and make you look ridiculous too, be it that he suddenly takes your hand and makes you dance around the table, make you sing loudly and off-key with him or make you fight with him against his members as a way to prove a point- it doesn’t matter what he makes you do, as long as he makes you all laugh in the process, he deems it worth it all. of course, sometimes he just sits down with you and just talks quietly about anything that crosses his mind, but 9 times out of 10, he’s going crazy, accusing jeonghan of cheating in uno again lol. won’t go overboard on pda but will hold your hand and leave little pecks on your lips and forehead here and there, nothing too much, just a little something-something

mingyu: if you ever thought that this big baby is anything but clingy with you, you would be WRONG. seriously, he’s constantly wrapped around you, leaning his head either on your shoulder or on your head, giggling in your ear at other’s jokes. it’s somehow even worse when he’s drunk because he also starts mumbling nonsense and kissing you the entire time, will just kiss your cheek right where your ear is and will mumble “i just loooove you so muchhh” in your ear. his members definitely have a FIELD DAY whenever he gets drunk and you’re around too lmao, jeonghan takes so many incriminating videos it’s crazy. little baby has no shame, if he wants affection and to kiss you, he will do as much >:( and you better reciprocate, otherwise you will have a very pouty and very clingy gyu shaking you while whining “pay attention to meeee” until you do as much (seriously i could never deal with this man so…whoever cuffs him i wish you all of the luck in the world dealing with this 6ft tall puppy lmao)

dk: another one that goes absolutely wild, will serenade you passionately in front of everyone, probably will fall to his knees in front of you very dramatically (you better match his freakiness and cup his face just as dramatically), he’s just so silly and funny. will definitely sing a duet with him, no matter if you can or can’t sing, he WILL make you sing with him. he isn’t that touchy per say, he’s just much more forward with his affection-while the others just hug and kiss their partners cheeks, dokyeom will come and passionately kiss you on the lips in front of everyone if you two score a 100 on the karaoke machine. he’s just very open about his affection for you and isn’t afraid to show it off in front of the others. but definitely loves to hug you all the time, he just likes how soft and cuddly you feel that he can’t resist hugging you all the time☹️❤️

seungkwan: oh shit-talker 1 and shit-talker 2, again together? what a surprise, is what all the members think to themselves when they see you two walk in together (affectionately ofc). you two are literally so alike that you even react the same way to the things- which is a NASTY side eye to whoever said or did something odd, sparing no one of your judgement. you two either join seoksoo’s nonsense and are being problematic children for seungcheol or are just sitting in a corner, pressed together as you talk shit about others and giggle about it. you two are definitely the fun couple™️ of the group, always having funny stories to share, sometimes doing the bit where you two explain the same story, talking together and adding the details the other forgot, making everyone around you laugh to death. isn’t the most affectionate, he’s too busy being funny to be lovey-dovey with you, but will definitely high five you all the time and maybe kiss your cheek every time you do something funny

vernon: unlike seungkwan and his girl who act like animals who have been let out of the zoo for the very first time, vernon and you two are so…calm and collected. you two are just sitting down together, his hand on your thigh or around your shoulders, either laughing at his members or quietly talking to each other about the new movie that is supposed to be coming out in a few weeks. you two are just so chill, it makes you two look so cool and others are so envious of this. seungcheol definitely thinks of you two as his favourite children, always ready to help him ship the drunken ones back home and help him clean up a bit. loves sneaking a little secret kisses when nobody’s watching, will just turn his head left and right to see if anyone is paying attention to you two before leaning in to leave a sweet and long kiss on you soft kiss. you two are just so perfect for each other and his members are so glad that you two found each other❤️

dino: another lovesick puppy of the group. he can be wilding around and causing chaos, but the second you call him either because you need something or simply to calm down, he’s sitting down next to you and just being like “yes ma’am”. his eyes literally turn into two hearts whenever he sees you talking, be it to him or somebody else, he’s just so in love he could fly away by how easy and aloof he feels due to all the happiness you bring him. is something between a storyteller in the group and someone who just laughs uncontrollably at others, always making you join him due to his laugh being so infectious. a little affectionate cuddle bug, will play with your fingers the entire night and maybe even lean his head on your shoulder or your lap when he’s feeling a bit tired and sleepy. you two are just so cute the others don’t even have the heart to tease you two (and also because they already experienced the nasty look you gave them when they were making fun of your boyfriend ( in your defence, he’s just a little guy,little baby :())

[povofjustme]

 The Queen of Death

(2/?)

Fandom: house of the dragon

You read about it many times as a kid

Legends say the island was filled with the strongest and most dangerous warriors

Men and women

The king and Queen throne and crown were made out of there enemy’s

They believe that they are there own ruler, they don’t need the king of king landing telling them what to do

They wear there colors with pride (purple and black)

“The live will walk but the dead will rule”

Mortensen is the family name - the meaning of death

If you were in war with them, just hope you said goodbye to your family

And you could never find them unless they want to be found (they give off Dothraki vibe but without the rape and slavery)

“Who are you?”

You looked around the beach you landed on, your eyes landed on a tall dark longed hair man and your heart stopped when you looked at the man.

“Am y/n Velaryon, I was flying when a storm hit and I seem to land here”

“Velaryon you said” a different voice come out, he seem to be wearing and crown made of bones

“Yes, will half Targaryen… your grace ” y/n

“And the dragon, yours?” Same voice

“Yes, your grace” y/n

“And you survived the storm?” Same voices

“It seem so… your grace”

While you were talking , many people of the kingdom started to come out to see you and your dragon

“ Well my dear, you seem to be the chosen one. I am king Alejandro Mortensen and this my eldest son, Prince Miguel. Please come inside and make yourself at home. You most be cold”

They welcome you in with open arms

Your got to meet King Alejandro family, his wife Queen Mariana, his second Elders princess Sofia and husband youngest prince Antonio

The Queen had got you a room made and had you changed in a more traditional Mortensen clothing.

Princess Sofia and you were the same size so while trying on clothes and got to know each other a little but you still had your guard up

They had asked you to join them for dinner to get to know you better

King Alejandro (bigger version of khal drogo) became king when he was seven and one and meet the queen when he was two and one. They fell in love and he married her

Queen Mariana (looks like Ellaria Sand) come from a small house. She ran away from a marriage that her father tried to force on her. She found herself in the storm as well and landed on this island. The restless history.

Prince Miguel was the one who found you on the beach. You found out he was a year older than you. And was to inherit his father’s. While looking at Miguel, he had this dark look to him. But every time your eyes met his light up a little.

Princess Sofia always had a smile on her face, with much attitude. She seem to be pulled towards you.

And Prince Antonio how to Playboy feel to him. But very open to you about himself. No filter.

“so y/n, what brings you to the island of death?” Antonio

And you couldn’t hold it in any longer , you spent months at Kings Landing, holding in the words in your head, and you only been to this island for less than a few hours, and the pain and emotions were gone

you felt peace here

So you told them everything

To the cheating husband, the best friend’s baby and you going mute

“ I never wanna go back well maybe when I’m stronger but for now I need to find somewhere to call home”y/n

“ you can stay here as long as you need” Miguel

“Really”y/n

“ we need more warriors like you” king

“ l’m not a-“y/n

“ Yes you are and don’t tell yourself that. I see myself in you y/n, we will help you get stronger. Is that right Miguel?” Queen

and since that day, the queen and king has took you as their own

you’ve missed your mom and dad dearly, but you needed a new start for yourself

days turn into weeks, two weeks, turning into into months to months turning into years

and you changed

Miguel told you about the history of the death island. Whoever is to survive the storm, the dead who believes you to be the chosen one.

His father and great grandfather and his great great great grandfather wife all come from the storm. The women came at their weakest point and at the end became the strongest queens

And now you are a warrior and soon to be a wife

Miguel and you fell in love, you’ve never knew you could after Harwin.

It took you a year for you to open about your feelings

He was always good to you, even with the hard look on his face

He will make sure you eat before practice, ask about your day even on his busiest days. And helped you with the wounds that you got from sword fighting

He got on Vermithor good side and always found away to get the dragon some food without flying back in the storms

He taught you everything you know, to hand on hand combat, to fighting with a sword. With him, you became one of the strongest warriors on the island.

He was known to be the most dangerous human on the island. Killed many people and went to war for the first time when he was one and five and lead them to win (Very much Drogo vibe)

And the queen herself molded you, teaching you their language, helping you learn the traditions.

She pushed you and Miguel together with any chance she got, like she said, she sees herself and you and only wanted the best

So after a few years being on the island, you married the heir to the death island.

Now you are known as Princess Y/n Velaryon Mortensen……

Throughout the years, you and Miguel had three children and one on the way 

Your twins boys Jośe and Juan and your baby girl Isabella

You loved your children, only wishing your mother and father could see them

One day, you and Miguel was walking hand-in-hand with your children on the beach, when you saw Vermithor flying away in a hurry 

“Momma, where did Ver go” Jośe asked

“I not sure my love but he always come back” y/n

Vermithor didn’t come back for 2 weeks

A note on the side of his saddle

Leana Velaryon is dead…..



@dramioneforevertilltheend @classicsimpforaaronwarner @ayamenimthiriel @hikaerys

(I hoped you like part two, hold on to your ass bc part 3 in going to be something)

[maryleclerc]

𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 — charles leclerc

pairing: prince!charles leclerc x reader ; prince!charles leclerc x princess!reader ; prince!dad!charles leclerc x princess!mom!reader

summary: in which the royal family and prince charles leclerc finally spoke out about the rumors of an affair between him and the actress.

warning: english is not my native language, use google translation

au: yea yea i know some people don’t like the cheating plot, but i think it’s just so bored if everything just go so smooth :(((

read my royal series here

y/n_leclerc

Liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and others

y/n_leclerc I’m posting this just to let you know that our marriage life is still as great as it is before every false rumor, a false rumor always a false rumor so I’m not worried or even care about it, and beside that we’re planning on having our 2nd child together!! 🫶🏻 You might ask who idea it is right? It’s my husband Charles and our son Christian Arthur just ask me if I can give him little sister or little brother, and my husband also said he want a mini Y/n running around the house.

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charles_leclerc ❤️ Tellement chanceux de t'avoir

⤷ y/n_leclerc Christian and I are so lucky to have you by our side

arthur_leclerc Can’t wait to meet a new addition of Y/n Leclerc

⤷ y/n_leclerc Wait what 😂 I’m not even pregnant yet how do you know its going to be a baby girl

ilovecharlesleclerc_ Hii, may i ask what is Prince Christian Arthur hobby?

⤷ y/n_leclerc Oh, he love go-karting, him and Charles use to go-karting every weekend. They LOVE F1

favgirly/n The way she’s so calm makes me love her even more

charles_leclerc

Liked by y/n_leclerc and others

charles_leclerc I, Prince Charles Leclerc of Monte Carlo would like to declear the rumor one more time, that there are no romantic relationship betwen us, the only love that I shared is for Y/n and Christian. And that’s it

Also I wanted to said this to @y/n_leclerc

I must say how happy I am to have a wife who is always willing to help me solve problems in a very calm way, whenever I have difficult problems to solve, Y/n always being the one to help me find different solutions made me respect her even more. More than that, I always feel lucky to have her as my wife and mother of my children.

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viennajaula_ We need a sorry from you @kristiannabailee_official 🙂 you better post it or i’m gonna have to “hunt” you down myself

redferarri Why the worst things always happen to our Charles, he’s the nicest guy and Y/n too they’re just jealous of them!! 😩

genni See i told you, he never ever do that horrible things

blueivyy Not gonna, i hate that girl so much she can’t even say hi to her fan

⤷ loveliee She’s super mean, mean to every single fan

lanadelreysmywife Y/n, the most beloved Princess of Monte Carlo 😩😩😩😩😩

kristianabailee_official

12,682 likes

kristianabailee_official Hi, I'm Kristiana Bailee and you probably know me from my role or with the most recent rumor that I'm in a relationship with Prince Charles Leclerc but in reality it's just me. Yes, I have feelings for Prince Charles Leclerc and I want to write this post to apologize to the fans who have suffered the hurt, the disappointment caused by me and more especially, I want to apologize to Prince Charles Leclerc and Princess Y/n of Monte Carlo for causing these unnecessary misunderstandings.

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krisanddede That’s okay, atleast you know what you doing is wrong. We forgive you

theleclercfaam Should i believe her or not :))

y/nismyqueen The manager better keep her away from the whole royal family. They won’t know what she would do next

sophiagreen I hope Prince Christian Arthur won’t see all of this shit when he become adult, she clearly wants to ruin the reputation of Prince Charles Leclerc and the royal family!

jessica_ 🙂🙂

[imtryingbuck]

The Locket

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC!Theo

Summary: Bucky has to marry a woman who surprises him more and more as their story goes along.

Word count: 1,755

Warnings: angst. swearing. fluff. mentions of death. mentions of cheating (George and some woman) killing of men but it’s okay they deserve it.

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

A week had passed since Bucky had taken the life of the three scumbags who shot Theo, Dot and Eliza being killed. It had been a busy week.

Michael’s daughters and son had shown up to Bucky’s and Theo’s house demanding that they put them up - said that they had nowhere else to live now, as if they didn’t have mansions of their own - they got mad at hearing that Bucky and Theo had been given all of Michael’s businesses and they started demanding Bucky to hand it over to Brandon. Bucky just sat there looking at them with a bored expression on his face, Theo tried making herself smaller the second they stormed into their home. They accused Matt of being a traitor by standing by the man who killed their mom but he just shrugged his shoulders. The second they started verbally assaulting Theo, Bucky and the rest of them pulled their guns out on them and told them that they best leave.

The next day Winnie rang Bucky and told him that she was finally leaving George, that she couldn’t do it anymore - being married to him and being humiliated by him anymore. Bucky went and picked her up from their family home and brought her back to his, when Winnie laid eyes on Theo she gave her a massive hug.

“You are just like your mom, you know? She was so beautiful, so sweet and kind.” Winnie says as she twirls a strand of Theo’s hair in her finger.

“Y-you knew my mom?”

“Knew her? Darling girl she was my best friend. Come and I’ll tell you all about her.” Taking her hand in hers she leads them into the living room, Bucky trailing in behind them.

“We met when we were seven, her and her parents had just moved to town and of course I wanted to be friends with the new girl, I instantly made her my best friend.” Winnie chuckles at the memory. “She was so beautiful, she had a laugh that was so infectious, she made all the men fall for her just by giving them a smile. She was talented too, drawing and painting, your mom wanted to be an artist! She also told me ‘Winn, when I become the most famous artist in the world I want you to be by my side, we’ll be rich together!’” Winnie chuckles.

“Did-did she? Ever become a famous artist I mean?”

“Sadly no, her parents, your grandparents may God rest their souls were horrible people, they didn’t believe in her and… well she gave up trying to pursue a career in the art world. She was a waitress and sometimes she would sell her artwork, one guy paid eight thousand for one!”

“Who was it?”

“I don’t know, neither did your mom but he gave her a check for the amount.” Wrapping her hands around Theo’s. “Your mom gave the money to charity, she said she didn’t need it and those people did. She was always like that, giving money to those in need.”

Theo smiled sadly at hearing all about the woman who she didn’t remember, hearing that she was the best artist in world - Winnie’s words not hers - brought her mind to her own artwork, her eyes went to one of her pieces that Bucky had hung on the wall. 

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course my dear.”

“The night of the dinner, Eliza said that you hated her because of Matt, why?”

“Ah that. I found out that George was having an affair with her, then a few months later she announced she was pregnant, she tried to pass it off as Michael’s baby but we all knew the truth. George was so convinced he was the dad but when Matt was born it was very clear that he wasn’t, a DNA test was done and it showed that Matt was neither George’s or Michael’s. Eliza had it in her head that I hated her, I didn’t and still don’t, she was just one of the many women he had.”

“Did you know that Jessica was sleeping with Michael?” Bucky asked his mom.

“Not at first, I knew she had a boyfriend but she never told me who it was that was until she found out she was pregnant.“

“Did she love him?” Theo then asked.

“She did but so did he, I saw it in his eyes whenever he would look at her.” Winnie’s hand went back to Theo’s hair, pushing a strand behind her ear. “But your mom loved you more than anything including Michael. She’d be so proud of you, and I know she’d want to be here right now.”

Several hours after that conversation there was a knock at the door, it was the police. They informed Winnie that her husband had been shot and killed, according to the police George was cheating with a married woman and the husband walked in, and shot George. Winnie wanted to laugh - the same as Bucky but they both had to act shocked.

Three days later they were burying him. Winnie wanted it done fast.

So there they were standing by the grave watching as the coffin was lowered into the ground. No one cried. No one wanted to speak. No flowers were put down. They all just gave a single nod to the grave and walked off.

It was truly sad, sad that no one even cared that he was no longer alive.

“Wanda where’s Theo?” Bucky asked as he came back from dropping his mom off at the airport, she was going to visit her sister.

“In studio.“

“Cheers.”

Walking up the stairs Bucky ran into their room and grabbed two things before making his way to her art room. Knocking on the door he opened it, his lips instantly curled up in a huge smile, Theo stood there in denim dungarees that were covered in dried paint - somehow she even had a splotch of blue paint on her back. Her hair was up in a messy bun a few strands covering her face as the brush glided across the canvas.

“Hi pretty girl.”

“Hi Bucky.”

“What are you painting today?” He moves to stand behind her his arms wrapping around her waist as he pulls her closer to him.

“Outside, it’s not finished yet and I messed up on the tree look.”

“It already looks amazing, I’m thinking we hang this in the hallway? And you have messed up the tree.” He grins when her head rests against his as he rests his head on her shoulder.

“We don’t have to do that.”

“I know but I love seeing them around the house.”

“They aren’t even good Bucky.”

“Hey! Don’t say that, baby they’re amazing.”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so.”

“What do you want anyway?”

“Who said I want anything? Can’t I just come and see my beautiful girl?”

“Nope.”

“Cheeky. But I do have something to say to you though.” He spins her around in his arms and presses a kiss to her lips. “The list is completed.”

Theo frowns and shakes her head. Not because she didn’t understand what he meant but because she didn’t agree with it. The list that Dot had given to him containing all the names of the people who had hurt her, Bucky and his men was finding them and killing them. That included the husbands of Michael’s daughters. Bucky had finally got the last one.

“I told you to leave it Buck.”

“And I told you, no.” He smiled at her. “They had it coming baby.”

“They were-“

“Bad people Theo, horrible people. They deserved everything that happened to them.”

She knew herself that they had it coming but that didn’t mean she agreed to it. She was safe now and she knew that Bucky would never hurt her or let his men hurt her either. “I know.”

“You’re not mad at me are you?”

“No.” She chuckled. “I’m not mad at you.”

“Good.” Bucky winks before he kisses her. “I have something for you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep, close your eyes pretty girl.” She does as he says and he can’t stop himself for giving her a quick kiss. “Open.”

A soft gasp falls from her lips at seeing the necklace dangling from his fingers. “That’s beautiful.”

“It’s yours. Open it up.”

“Mine?” But doing as he says Theo opens up the locket a smile coming to her lips seeing a picture of her mom.

“That’s you.” He points to the baby in the locket.

“Me? How? I was never allowed in the family photos.”

“I guess your mom took it? Michael gave it me when he gave me the photo, I know that I should have given it you that day but I wanted to do something, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“For keeping it from you.”

“I have it now.”

“Do you want me to put it on for you?” Theo nods and turns around, a huge smile on her face as the cold chain touches her neck. “There. Beautiful.”

“Thank you Bucky, for everything.” She mouths the words of the locket, a small smile on her lips.

“Theo I love you, you know that don’t you?”

“I do, and I love you too.”

“I-I want to do things right.” He pulls out a small box out of his pocket and gets down on one knee. “I know we’re already married but Theodora, I love you more than anything in this world, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”

A soft giggle falls from her lips as she nods. “Yes I’ll marry you Bucky.”

Bucky slid the ring onto her finger and jumps up to kiss her. He tried to convey all his feelings into a single yet passionate kiss. He really wanted her to know how much he was in love with her because he was, he was so madly in love with her sometimes it scared him.

A little celebration was held at the mansion for the married couple that were now engaged, Bucky couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the night. Theo kept fiddling with the ring and the necklace.

Later that night Bucky carried Theo into their room, throwing her onto the bed making her giggle as she bounced a few times, he was quick to undress the both of them and take her apart in best way.

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[land-of-evergreens-and-dye]

Ok so I know I reblogged @morganbritton132 post about steve not being an only child but the youngest of like a really big family and I added my 2 bits to that post, but now I need to get this out of my brain now or it will explode. The ages are how old they are by season 4 I hope I did the math right and it makes sense. Im also hopped up on 2 midols so hopfully this makes sense.

Steve who has 7 older siblings this including 2 sets of twins. His father started his first family young after getting his high school sweetheart pregnant and was forced to marry her at 17. Thankfully his side of the family was already loaded, so his Richard's father just had him work for him and provided a cushy life that provided nannies to raise his children so he didn't have to.

He has Rebecca (38) the oldest a stay at home mom with 3 kids and a divorce from her deadbeat, useless husband.

Oliver and Penny (36) the first set of twins. Oliver has 1 kid and works as a principal and is happily married. Penny never married but lives with her "roomate" of like 15 years she's a photographer who's opened many art galleries.

Peter (35) he's a lawyer and the most like their father. Stern and doesn’t believe in handouts that a man has to work for what he gets, despite being handed everything on a silver platter his whole life. Also never been married but enjoys his secretaries a little too much.

Harold or Harry (30) as he likes to be referred to is a firefighter. He keeps to himself and honestly gets overshadowed by his other siblings' achievements. He is the most like Steve personality wise and had always liked Steve as a kid, but shunned him just so he wouldn’t get the same treatment from his full siblings.

And finally the youngest and final set of twins Olivia and Cecelia (27) identical twins who look exactly like their mother. Olivia is a professional ballerina she travels a lot for work going from theater to theater never staying in one place for long. Cecelia on the other hand is a pediatric doctor who takes her work very seriously and is one of the harder siblings to get ahold of.

Richard ends up knocking up his 20 something yearold secretary when he was in his early 50's and decides to leave his wife and kids for her. Despite how successful his 7 previous kids are, they still do not meet his high standards and thought he could do better somehow. He makes the same mistakes, though, since his new wife is paranoid that he'll cheat on her when she's not with him. Poor steve is left with nannies until he's able to properly dial 911 all by himself.

No one in Hawkins has ever met steves older siblings since Richard's first wife won the house in the divorce so he moved his new family to his old grandparents house that was willed to him after their passing. And so poor Steve grew up alone in that big empty house despised by his older siblings he never gets to see. Their mother won full custody over them the only time he got to see them was from the ages 1-7 when their dad would actually hold christmas parties at his house to show off his children and claim their accomplishments as being due to his influence. During these parties his siblings would stay for a week or 2, and Steve was never included with their activities, as he was deemed both the reason their dad left and an annoying youngest brother.

Once Steve turned 7 and the yougest of his older siblings were now 13 they no longer wanted to be around him or their father so they just stopped coming and Steve was the sole bearer of their father's high expectations. While his older siblings had each other to rely on or to share the load. Steve was all alone and was crumbling under the pressure fast.

He befriends the wrong friends and falls into the popular crowd trying to please his father, who was never around. His new friends and ability to play sports pleases the old man for a little while, but his subpar grades really canceled out any sort of positive attention he thought he could possibly receive.

Then season 1 happens, and Steve discovers just how alone he is in the world. No one can get ahold of his parents who are out of the country again and not 1 of his 7 siblings even called him back when he left a meassage telling him that he was scared and alone and concussed. He understood the ones with kids probably couldn't do much they had to take care of their own families, but the other 5 were close enough to at least call him back. He made sure to keep tabs on them in case he ever needed to contact them. They were all close enough to at least care for his well-being, and they just plain didn’t.

Season 2 happens, and Steve's new and more real family starts to take shape. Steve had bever been an older brother, so the thrill of becoming an older brother like role model to these children he had semi adopted was quite the rush. Not to mention that Joyce Byers was a force to reccon with when she set her mind on making sure the lone teen in the group was well taken care of she made sure he was well taken care of. He finally had a family after wishing for something close to unconditional love his whole childhood, and he was finally getting that. He had family dinners with the Byers and Hendersons. He spent christams at different party members' houses throughout the day it was the best christmas he had ever had. He was loved and happy. Hopper wasn't 100% a father figure, but he was there more often than his own father, so he was already leagues better than his bio dad.

Unfortunately season 3 happens and Steve is met with the unfortunate pattern his life keeps taking. Where any good thing that happens to him, wether that be secret hangouts with Harry when they were kids or dinners with Hopper and El, must come to a usually lonley and painful end. Hopper is dead and Steve blaims himself, he loses the Byers +El, and he is once again ignored by his bio family while suffering a high grade concussion and side affects from the drugs still left in his system. Not 1 person from his family could come to the phone or call back. He doesn't even know why he bothers he's positive that he could die and no one would care or find out until his parents returned moths after the fact and found the house empty and covered in dust. And even then it would take a week of being mad about the state of the house before someone paid their condolences to his parents that they'd find out what happened to the youngest Harrington. Steve's convinced that they wouldn't even be sad for long. Why would they be sad about someone they hardly knew, he was just a background character in their lives if that. Not a thought spared to poor homewrecker Steve, probably served him right. But Steve does get a platonic soulmate in the form of one Robin Buckley who fits in perfectly with his found family and helps soothe the loss Steve feels in the Byers/Hoppers absences.

Season 4 happens, but they defeat Vecna. The plan works Eddie makes it. I'll bet a couple of pounds lighter and a few skin graftes later. But Eddie lives and is promptly handcuffed to the bed still being charged with the death of Chrissy and now Jason. And Steve can barely stand, but he will not sit around and let Eddie get pinned for this whole mess, not on his watch. He calls and calls and calls Peter until a full 2 days pass he finally picks up.

13 years and he finally picks up Steve is pleading and crying and bargaining, trying to get Peter to take Eddie's case. He promises never to contact him again if he would just help him this one time. That Steve will pay double no tripple what he charges for his services if it means he will help him. Peter hems and haws but finally agrees. And tells Steve that he only needs to pay the regular price. Steve finally sags into the hospital bed in the same room as Eddie, who is thankfully asleep in the bed next to him. He can finally relax knowing his family will be safe and happy, Peter has never lost a case yet.

The issue Steve was not prepared for was that apparently Harry had had enough of his family treating their youngest brother like nothing and after the most recent call from Hawkins general decided to go and collect his brothers and sisters to all go make sure their little brother was alive and fine. They had been talking about reconnecting with the youngest for a while now, but never really did anything about it, life got in the way and the yearly phone calls regarding their brother never seemed important enough in the grand scheme of things going on in their lives.

Well Harry had had enough and when he went to collect his siblings and finally got to Peter, Harry was absolutely furious to find out that after getting ahold of one of his family members. Family members who were supposed to love and care for him, their youngest sibling. All Pete did was charge the boy his usual going rates for his services. Didn't even ask if Steve was ok, he just agreed to the job nothing more, nothing less. Harry almost murded his brother right there with his 5 other siblings as witnesses. He wanted to cry for his baby brother, who he cut ties with so he didnt suffer the same fate, had no family to speak of and was alone in a hospital, again.

It took 3 days for Harry to force all of his siblings to Hawkins and into a cramped hospital room with 2 beds and a truck load of visitors for the the two occupants in it. Steve looked so confused when more than just Peter walked through the door. And at first the party thought they were more angry mob coming to finish Eddie off, but found they didn't recognize any of the faces. Except they did look familiar, but they couldn't put their fingers on why they looked familiar. Meanwhile, Steve's confusion just turns into a feeling of nothing. He's numb and not from the pain meds. No, he's numb because in his mind the only reason his siblings are here is because they think he has money. Peter must have told him about how desperate Steve was for his services and how much he was willing to pay. It's the only explanation he could come up with.

After like 10 minutes of silence as Steve's bio family stare at their little brother beaten to hell and bandged like a mummy from being demobat food, it's Erica who finally inform these stranges that they got the wrong room and to please leave. That seems to shock Steve's family into action as they all start talking over each other in response to Erica as well as critiquing the state Steve is in, the room is in, and the town is in. This starts a migraine in Steve's head almost immediately, and Robin clocks it almost just as quick. She demands quiet and gets it before asking the intruders who they are what they want.

Peter finally steps forward and introduces himself as both a Harrington and a lawyer who will be representing one Eddie Munson in his upcoming trial. All of the party's eyes land on Steve who just looks tired. But finally Steve introduces his siblings and with each new introduction he can see the hatred growing in his found familes eyes. Steve's embarrassed that they have to find out what a huge piece of nothing he is. He knew it was gonna happen at some point. After introductions are made none of the Harrington's are able to get a word out before Steve's found family decend onto his bio siblings for being the most absent and biggest piles of shit they have ever met. They defend Steve like it is their jobs and that steves siblings should be ashamed of themselves.

It's safe to say that the upcoming moths of healing, Eddies trial, and subsequent win are all very awkward and full of hate towards each other. Steve's bio family are convinced they did nothing wrong while the found family held tight to the belief that the bio family did everything wrong. And Steve has just accepted that from now on he will bear witness to Rebecca having full-blown arguments with Erica like that's a normal Tuesday for him.

This does result in a happy ending though with Steve gaining not just found family but also his bio family. It's a lot of work on both sides but in the end its totally worth it. Steve finally has the big happy family hes always wanted.

I personally think this would end in steddie and the whole family minus his parents would be at their wedding. And that Steve's bio siblings would have to also win over Wayne's approval. But that is totally up to you. Thank you for reading my midol fueled rant.

[word-wytch]

Don't Stand So Close To Me — Chapter 4

Eddie x Teacher!Reader

Chapter 4/? 3.1k. Series Masterlist

✏︎ There are some things Eddie isn’t used to hearing, and mean even more when coming from you.

✏︎ Series Summary: Forced to move back home to Hawkins after your fiancé cheats on you, you begin to fall in love again with an audacious 20 year old metalhead, only there’s one problem — he’s still in high school and you’re his English teacher.

While you struggle starting over in a place you never thought you would return, Eddie struggles feeling stuck in a place he can’t manage to leave — until you offer to help him. Of all the lessons learned, the most important are the ones you teach each other.

✏︎ Series CW: forbidden romance, slow burn, smut (18+ mdni), true love, internal conflict, student-teacher relationship, 10 year age gap, mutual pining, sexual tension, emotions, drama, angst, character development, happy ending :)

Chapter warnings: mild angst I guess? that's it :)

“Well I for one think the first lady’s new ‘Just Say No’ campaign is a great idea, it’s long overdue if you ask me,” said Mrs. Hutchins, to which your mother nodded in agreement.  

You stared down at your plate and poked at your green beans with your fork. 

“It’s about time there was a war on drugs, it’s gotten out of control in this country,” Mrs. Hutchins continued, reaching for the gravy.

You shoveled the green beans into your mouth to keep it occupied. You figured getting into an argument with Mrs. Hutchins over Reagan’s policies was not exactly what your mother had intended for the evening. Besides, it wasn’t worth your energy anyway.

Your dad gave you a silly look from across the table and you smiled at him.

You looked back down at your plate and thought about Eddie Munson again. This time it was about how he’d looked at you when you told him you’d be here. 

You wondered what Eddie would say to Mrs. Hutchins. He had an opinion on just about everything and you were certain he would not withhold it. Not for your mother’s sake, not for anybody. You suspected that it got him into trouble more often than not but there was something you admired about that.

You tucked into your risotto and tuned out the conversation.

He was sitting so close to you today. So close that a ringlet of his soft hair grazed your hand when he leaned over. So close that you could smell him. The same scent that enveloped you in the hallway the other day, although this time less bright notes of shampoo, more deep notes of leather and musk. There was that faint cigarette smell and something else too that you couldn’t quite place, like the warmth of his skin that was distinct and yet indistinguishable. 

Normally you were not keen on the smell of cigarettes. It lingered on just about everything. In restaurants and car seats, especially in homes. It clung to the clothing of heavy smokers with a stale musk that you hated, but on Eddie it didn’t seem to bother you. In fact, you were hesitant to admit that you almost liked it. 

“Andrew, why don’t you tell us about your new job,” suggested your mother.

You glanced over at the man sitting next to you, hardly able to believe that this was once the boy who used to collect G.I. Joe figures rather than play with them as intended. 

Andrew cleared his throat. “My job is to diagnose and correct issues with computer hardware, figure out what isn’t working and order and replace the corresponding parts. Occasionally it’s a software issue, in which case I can troubleshoot and reinstall certain programs.” he said, adjusting his glasses. He looked just about as thrilled to be here as you were.

“Do you guys sell computers there?” asked your dad.

“Yes, though my work is primarily in computer repairs, not sales.”

“You know I was telling my daughter here that I really think computers are going to be the future,” said your mom.

“Oh yes, absolutely. Personal computer sales have quadrupled in the last few years, all thanks to the Commodore 64 being so affordable,” said Andrew. “In fact I really think they ought to have computer classes in every school. I think I read recently in the paper that only 48% of schools have them.”

Your mom’s eyes lit up and she turned to you, “Do they have computer class at your school, dear?”

“Uh, no, I don’t think so. Not yet.” 

“Well maybe that might be something worth suggesting to the principal.”

“I doubt I would have much say in something like that.”

“I’m just saying, it’s worth a try, dear.”

You smiled curtly and glanced down at your plate again, scooting your green beens around in the excess gravy. 

“Speaking of school, why don’t you tell us a little bit about how your job’s been going? I do hope the students are behaving,” your mother continued.

“Oh, they have their moments but overall it’s been alright,” you said, “We’re studying The Catcher in the Rye in my senior class.”

Andrew raised his eyebrows, “Oh that book,” he said with a little laugh, “It’s a bit strange isn’t it? All I can really remember is how he kept calling everyone a phony all the time. I never understood it.”

Of course you didn’t. “Yeah, the stream of consciousness seems to throw some readers off. A lot of people end up missing the point.”

“What is the point anyway?” asked Andrew, but before you could respond Mrs. Hutchins interjected.

“Don’t you think that book is a bit inappropriate for children? I remember when Andrew brought it home all those years ago. At that time some of the ladies in my church group were trying to get it banned in schools. Clearly their efforts were unsuccessful.”

“My students are teenagers, not children, in fact some of them are already adults,” you said, and thought about recommending Fahrenheit 451 to her but figured the joke would be lost.

“Still, I think teenagers are too young to be reading about,” she lowered her voice, “hookers.”

You bit your lip and looked down at your plate again. It took every ounce of self control not to laugh. You glanced over at Andrew. He looked like he wanted to evaporate.

“I’ll tell you what,” continued Mrs. Hutchins, “Kids are getting into more and more worrisome and bizarre things nowadays. Did you see that special on the local news? There’s this game called Dungeons and Dragons and some people suspect that it’s a gateway, luring children into devil worshiping cults.”

This time you did laugh. “I really don’t think there’s any truth to that. The student I tutor plays that game. He talks about it all the time. It really is just a fantasy game that you create your own adventures in.”

“Well that’s what it might look like on the surface, but on this special they were talking about all the signs to look for if you suspect your child might have been lured. Now there’s the obvious symbolism like goats and pentagrams. Then there’s listening to heavy metal music — that’s a big one. Apparently there’s all sorts of hidden messaging in those songs, especially if you play the tapes backwards.”

Andrew’s face was in his hands.

“Boy, that sounds terrifying,” said your mother with furrowed brows before taking a bite of her pork roast.

You thought about Eddie Munson again. He certainly fit the description, though you were doubtful he actually worshiped Satan. You supposed there was no way for you to really know. He had quite a habit of talking about, well, just about anything besides school, but you doubted he’d openly admit to something like that. 

It was strange for you to think that you had really only known him for less than two months. It felt like you’d known him forever. 

If he did actually worship Satan, you supposed it wouldn’t really bother you. What you could tell was that he had a good heart. What you also could tell is that there was nothing you could say to Mrs. Hutchins that would change her mind.

______

Much to the disappointment of your mother, sparks did not fly over dinner. That was obvious enough for her not to arrange another, much to your relief.

The weekend came quickly, and it was a long one, which meant more time with quizzes to grade, and boxes that you had procrastinated unpacking. More time alone with your thoughts. 

Historically you never minded being alone, typically you relished in it. Lately you had been doing everything you could to combat the oppressive silence in your apartment and the noisy chatter in your mind.

On Saturday you practically wore out your records, exhausting your entire collection as you did some much needed cleaning. 

On Sunday it was difficult to get out of bed, so you just left the radio on when your alarm clock went off.

On Monday you sat on your living room floor in front of your TV and thumbed through the quizzes that you gave out on Friday, marking each one with your green grading pen.

You paused when you got to Eddie’s. 

There was a little drawing of a dragon at the bottom of his quiz along with a note that said “Slay me!”

You smiled for the first time that day, fingers tracing the lines where his pen met the paper, feeling the subtle indents left behind by it. 

You ran down the ten questions, he got nine of them right. You gave him a 90% and circled the A- at the top of the paper. At the bottom you wrote “You sure slayed this quiz!” with a little smiley face.

______

Eddie Munson had a way of creeping into your thoughts when you least expected it. It was like he had taken up permanent residence there, like a song stuck in your head.

It was far a better song than the sad and angry one that had been playing on repeat for months now, and at this point you would take any break you could get from it.

On Tuesday you couldn’t stop thinking about the way he smiled at you on Friday when he turned in his quiz. It was playful and warm.

On Wednesday he sat across from you after school. He was wearing a flannel shirt under his usual denim vest today. It was refreshing to see him in color for a change. The vibrant red suited him. He’d rolled his sleeves up, revealing a tattoo that looked like a cluster of flying bats.

“So, how did you do on your history test? Did you get your grades back?” you asked, bringing your attention away from his forearms. 

“Yeah, uh,” Eddie shifted in his chair, glancing off to the side, “I got a C,” he said quietly.

You nodded, your expression neutral, though there was a softness in your eyes. “How do you feel about that?”

Eddie looked surprised, “I…” he paused for a moment, blinking, “You know, honestly, when I first got my test back I was actually pretty happy about it,” he said. “I mean it’s better than I usually do, way better than an F.”

You looked at him curiously, “You said, ‘at first’ did something change?”

“Well, I mean a C is good for me, but — “ he glanced at you sheepishly.

“Then a C is good!” 

He looked relieved. “Oh, well in that case, then yeah. I guess I am pretty happy about it.”

“Eddie,” you said gently. He leaned forward at the sound of his name. “You don’t have to worry about impressing me, that isn’t what this is about. I just want to help you graduate, not be valedictorian,” you said, “I’m proud of you.”

Eddie beamed at you with those big brown eyes of his. Suddenly he glanced away, blinking quickly as he lifted a hand to scratch the side of his head to shield them from view. 

You leaned closer, sensing the shift in his body language. When he turned to face you again you could have sworn his nose was a little flushed, his eyes wetter than usual.

“Sorry, I don’t hear that a lot.”

Your chest tightened. You wanted to leap across the desk, scoop him up in your arms and tell him that a thousand times, but instead you just smiled softly and said, “Well, get used to it.”

He smiled at you again, big and broad. He fidgeted with the rings on his fingers and for just a moment you swore you could see past the hair, the patches and chains, straight through to the boy he once was, getting F after F. You could see the disappointed looks from everyone around him reflected in those eyes of his. He must have gotten used to them, steeled himself to them, resigned himself to the letter.

You felt the tears start to burn behind your eyes and you searched for anything to change the subject. “How did your campaign go on Friday?”

His lips curved into a mischievous smirk. “Found three new recruits actually, just last week.”

You raised your eyebrows and blinked, clearing your eyes of any evidence. “Oh yeah?”

“Oh yeah. I knew it the moment I saw ‘em, two freshmen sitting all by themselves at the end of a lunch table. They’d been there for weeks, just the two of them. You can always kinda tell with the freshmen, they just look like little lost sheep, ‘specially these two. One of the kids was wearing a Weird Al t-shirt,” he said with a laugh, “And that’s when I was like, ok, these kids should sit with us for a change. Well it turns out they’ve been playing DnD for ages, and they’ve got a friend in another lunch period who plays too, so now we’ve got three new members, which is great because, uh, we were kind of hurting for them.” He chuckled softly.

Eddie had an energy about him that was bold and magnetic. It sucked you right in. The timbre of his voice was bright and warm. It was oddly soothing. You enjoyed listening to him talk, watching his hands as they gestured wildly, which you figured was a good thing since he did a lot of talking. 

“Some kids just need someone to show them that school doesn’t have to be all bad, you know? I know that’s what I needed.” 

You imagined freshman Eddie sitting in the cafeteria by himself, lonely and lost, with his curly mop of hair much shorter than it was now. 

“Us freaks have to stick together, you know?”

You nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, I know. I wasn’t exactly popular myself,” you admitted. “Actually I used to help run an after school mentoring program in Indianapolis. A lot of troubled kids came through there, but it was so rewarding to watch them come into their own, find a place they felt like they belonged, you know?” you said, “I miss that part of my old job.”

Eddie rested his hand against his cheek and hummed in agreement. He looked like he was miles away and yet absolutely present all at once.

“I’ll admit that teaching wasn’t my first career choice, but it’s rewarding in a way that you just… can’t achieve by sitting alone and writing stories by yourself.”

Eddie smirked and gave a thoughtful nod, “That has its own rewards though.”

Your eyes twinkled. “Oh yeah, it definitely does.”

You shifted the focus toward his schoolwork. Today you helped him work through some equations in Trigonometry. Truthfully it took some refreshing on your part, it had been ages since you’d done it and you were more than a little rusty. Math was never really your strong suit anyway. The nice thing about formulas is that once you understood them you could just simply apply them and solve. Math seemed to be something that Eddie was naturally pretty good at though. You wondered if it had anything to do with having to deal with numbers frequently in his campaigns. 

“Alright, I think that about wraps it up for today. Not sure about you but I’m getting hungry,” you said.

“Ok, I’m parked right over there,” he said pointing out the window to the van in the near empty  parking lot. “We can walk out together. You never know what sort of monsters might be lurking in the shadows at this hour,” he said with a look of exaggerated suspicion.

You chuckled and your heart fluttered in your chest, “Sure, actually I’m the red sedan a few spots down.” 

“Great, I know a shortcut,” said Eddie.

You both packed up your things and headed down the main hall towards the gym. 

It was when you rounded the corner that you saw them — Jason and Patrick filling their water bottles at the drinking fountain. 

You gave them both a little wave, which they returned half-heartedly. There was a curious expression playing on their faces which you had hardly a second to study before you passed. Eddie didn’t even look at them. 

You could feel the tension in the air, and their eyes on you as you both left out the back door.

Eddie reached into the pocket of his vest and procured a pack of cigarettes. “Sorry, do you mind? I’m totally jonesing right now.”

“Oh no, it’s fine.”

Eddie gave a gracious nod and popped a cigarette between his lips. He flicked the lighter and his mouth was washed in a warm glow, illuminating the smile lines already prominent on his young face. They suited him.

He blew the smoke away from you with a relieved sigh and you walked toward your cars together in comfortable silence. 

The sun was low in the clear blue sky, casting a golden light over the parking lot. The leaves were just starting to change in fiery orange and yellow patches. You could smell autumn in the crispness of the air, in the leaves that had already fallen as they skittered across the asphalt. 

Eddie ducked his head under your car in a swift motion and looked around suspiciously. “Coast is clear, no monsters.” 

You gave a big belly laugh. “Good thing I have you to keep me safe.”

The wind caught his hair as he rose to his feet and turned to you. “For you? Anything.”

Eddie Munson was beautiful like a neon sign at night. Beautiful like graffiti, like an empty street that beckoned you to wander down it.

You could feel your heart pounding as you smiled at him, turning to putty at his words. “See you tomorrow, Eddie.”

“See ya.” He gave a little bow with his head and waved as he turned toward his van.

You got into your car and set your bag on the passenger seat, letting out the breath you didn’t even realize you’d been holding in. You could hear the roar of the stereo as Eddie’s van came to life two spots over.

You couldn’t help but steal another glance at him. His hair swished and swayed as he bobbed his head to the beat. He was wild like the summer wind as it ripped across a field. 

His eyes caught yours again and he flashed you a smile, bright and blinding.

If there was once thing you were certain of in that moment, it was that Eddie Munson was going to be the death of you.

At least you couldn’t get in trouble for your thoughts.

______

A/N: Oooo we've got a revelation on reader's part and next chapter I've got some really delicious moments in store so sit tight because this burn is gonna be slow but oh boy is it gonna be worth it!

I have one request — If you read and enjoy this, especially if you ask/asked to be put on the tag list, I ask in return that you reblog AND tell me what you like about this fic, even just something short and sweet! Please engage with me, it’s all I get in return for writing a story that you love for free 💜

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Thank you all so much for reading and commenting along each week, it means the world to me!

[rrenzwrld]

secreto de amor VII

chapter 7! read chapter 6 here

“y/n~i need to talk to you.”

“you always need to talk to me. talk to your other friends.”

“don’t get smart with me. i just wanted to remind you about the business trip i’m going on. i leave next wednesday.” jean worked with a company that providing them with relaxing trips out of the country twice a year because they know how taxing the job can be.

“where you going this time?”

“it’s actually a cruise, going to the bahamas. i’ll be gone for two weeks tho, much longer than last time.”

“two weeks??” that caught your attention. you were used to jean and his trips but you’ve never been left alone for two weeks.

“i figured you don’t need a babysitter because you’re 18 but some people will swing by to check on you.”

“you tell—“

“yes i told mom and dad. they’ll come check on you and if you get scared just stay over there.”

“anything else i need to know?”

“nope, think that’s all. love you!” jean closed the door behind him. although it was only tuesday and he had about a week to prepare, it shouldn’t worry him about leaving you. he knew that you were a good kid, you don’t cause trouble , and you’re practically already independent apart from you living with him. so he didn’t know why he was feeling weird about all of this.

later on that day, you called tia to have your daily conversation and some interesting things were brought up.

“you said he said what now?”

“just reposting tweets n shit and relationships, talkin bout some ‘i’ll take my old bitch over a new bitch any day’” the dude in question was your ex you dated for two years until he cheated. he was your first and last boyfriend and luckily you hadn’t lost your virginity to him or else you’d be going mad even now.

“a weirdo for real. remind me why you follow him again?”

she shrugged. “to be nosy. give us something to talk about.”

“valid.”

“your brother still going on the trip thingy?”

“yeah, why?”

“just asking. don’t he always go around the same time?”

“yeah but i didn’t think you were paying attention. he’s gonna be gone for two weeks this time.”

“two weeks?? oh you’ll be dead before he gets back.”

“don’t say that! i can handle myself fine for two weeks.”

“you don’t even sound like you believe yourself. but look at the bright side,” you rolled your eyes as you already knew what would come next. “connie can come over without any interruptions and he’ll stay and keep you company, and then~” tia started clapping her hands and moaning.

you laughed. “i fucking hate you. i don’t even think about him like that, he 22.”

“so? older dick be the best dick.”

“i’m gonna hang up on you.”

“it’s okay if you wanna hang up on me to call your man.”

“i don’t have a man.”

“sure..”

next wednesday rolled around quicker than you thought and it didn’t seem real to you up until you saw your brother all packed up in suit and tie.

“why you dressed up? i thought you were going on the trip to relax.”

“there’s a meeting right before we board the plane.” you nodded as you watched your brother put on his dress shoes. “are you sure you’ll be okay? you’ll call or text if you need anything right?”

“yes, i’ll be okay. just have fun.”

“i already called everyone to let them know so some one would be there everyday to check on you. and don’t throw any parties or anything while i’m gone.”

“i’ll try not to.” you joked. but he knew you weren’t like that. the most you’d probably do is have tia sleep over or something and just the two of you do stupid shit in the comfort of your own home.

“well,” he started as you helped him load the last of his things in his car. “i love you, i’ll be back in two weeks. i’ll call and text everyday, just don’t die on me.” he laughed while he pulled you into a tight embrace

“i won’t die, promise.”

after the both of you struggled to let go, you bid him a formal farewell as you watched him back out the parking lot, “love you too, be safe!”

after all that, it was weird having the place to yourself but you’d just operate how you would normally do. the only difference was that jean wasn’t present and you had to get used to that. but as he said, over the two weeks, people came to check on you every day.

you had visits from your older stepbrother elliot snd his girlfriend, your mom, your stepdad, and even your biological dad who really just started speaking to you after your mom remarried. but family wasn’t the only people who were there for you. you had visits from sasha who you’d hang out with from time to time, and sleepovers with your friend tia. but one person you really should’ve saw coming was connie. but you didn’t know how you felt just yet.

“y/n~” you heard connie call out to you from your room but he stopped in the doorway when he made it. “your brother told me to—“

“check up on me?”

“yeah, but.. a little more than that.”

“what?”

“he gave me a key, see?” he held it up proudly but you were shocked and maybe a bit upset.

“when did he give you a key? and why?” connie walked into your room and sat at the chair by your desk.

“he wants me to check on you

everyday—“

“people do that already.”

“yeah but he wants me to check on you everyday.. for multiple times a day.”

“so i don’t have a choice.. but to see you everyday?”

“multiple times a day, yes.” he smiles. “but that makes it easier for us to get to know each other.”

“don’t you have things to do? like work or..?”

“yeah but i’ll just come here after.” you rolled your eyes. although jean suspected that connie was trying something with you, he still trusted connie to keep you safe if anything else.

“whatever.” you went back to whatever you were doing.

“right,” connie stood up to walk out the room. “and imma need your number or something.”

“to track me?”

“no, just to keep in contact with you. weirdo.” he laughed. you were the weirdo? you ended up putting your number in his phone and he put his number in yours. “i turned locations on by the way. i’ll be back, bye!” he left before you could even get on him about it.

[kingsmoot]

even with your explain asoiaf genetics still don't make sense to me, if it's internally consistent that the kids look like one of the parents then technically joffrey and co could be actual baratheon who just take after cersei if compared to the stark kids who are all actual starks that take after their mom? and the dayne's aren't all blonde since barristan described ashara dayne as having dark locks

also further on the baratheons if they all have special strong genes that makes the kids always dark haired with blue eyes why didn't rhaenys targaryen's, (the dance one not the conqueror) who had the baratheon look per f&b, kids take after the baratheons instead of taking after the platinum haired velaryons?

(sorry if this comes off as mean or smth that's not my intention, i'm genuinely trying to have a conversation i'm just too shy to reblog the post lol)

hey no problem man i appreciate your note at the end there 🖤

so to your first point: you are totally right. that is why there was not a general widespread suspicion of incest when all three of queen cersei's children came out looking exactly like her. because children being born as carbon copies of only one parent is something that happens all the time in westerosi great houses. the novel sets this up really easily too, because the starks and the lannisters are the first people we meet. we learn that arya and jon look just like ned, while robb, sansa, bran, and rickon look just like cat. then we learn that joff, myrcella, and tommen look just like cersei. yay!! we are in a world with end-of-any-disney-movie genetics.

MOST of westeros assumed exactly what you just said, that the baratheon children just all happen to look just like their mom. people who live in king's landing and see how cersei and jaime act, or how cersei and robert act, are either suspicious or certain of incest. people like jon or ned, who look into the history of baratheon/lannister marriage, know that the kids SHOULD all look like robert.

this also explains your point re: rhaenys. baratheon genes always win over LANNISTER genes, but they do not always win over targaryen genes. sometimes they do, tho, like with rhaenys' dark hair. but then the valaryon genes won out in her kiddos.

i mean my honest answer? rhaenys had dark hair so that rhaenyra's bastard children (fathered by harwin strong) would have a reason to be seen as possibly true-born in canon. george had already done the "they look just like their mom and nothing like their dad but don't worry :)" plot in agot. he was doing a new thing about passing off bastards as true-born. a variation of the same story. a woman takes agency in her royal marriage by cheating and passing off her children as true born. part ii.

i do believe 100% that the way westerosi genetics work is internally consistent. i would be happy to knitpick individual examples of this forever. because i like getting bogged down in details and am a naturally argumentative person. i'm jewish.

but at the end of the day, westerosi genetics work the way they do for the very simple reason that this is a high fantasy series. it's magic. it is also a very effective visual shorthand to show you who belongs to what great house. this is a series with THOUSANDS of named characters. when you meet someone new and they have blonde hair and green eyes, you know they're a lannister. when a great lord is pillaging and raping, or just eagerly sleeping around, and he wants to deny his resulting bastards, well he can't. they look exactly like him. when the lord commander of the night's watch is the secret last targaryen tenth of his name, we don't know that because he looks exactly like his BASED MAMA whose stark genes beat out every last ounce of dragon he had in him.

so. i do think it does make sense. i would happily go over more examples with you. but at the end of the day try to remember that westerosi genetics work the way they do for Plot Reasons. this is a good reason for them to work the way they do, and they remind me of a lot of well established and widely accepted scifi conventions.

westerosi genetics are good. i'd give anything to be born with box black hair and white sclera lenses.

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

So this guy was venting. He was very upset after his mom took his ex girlfriend’s side of things.  This and the update aren’t very long so I’ll just copy and paste them 

This was the first one: 

I was raised by single mom. my dad died 2 years after i was born. I focused on my career for the most part of my life and my mom supported me doing that. but when i was 20 i met my ex girlfriend and we got together. we were colleagues first but she told me she'd work in a different sector soon. in her new workplace she met a new guy who she fell "in love" with while being in a relationship with me.

i only found out because she admitted to have sex with him to me after she went out for "girls night" with her friends. i immediately broke up with her and threw her out. a few hours of me trying to process what happened my mum called me and shouted at me that she hasn't raised me like this. i was confused and asked what she meant and she said that my ex girlfriend accused me of cheating on her and that she "found prove" of that on my phone. i couldn't believe what i just heard.

i tried to talk to my mother telling her that the exact opposite is true and that she has cheated on me but she didn't believe me. part of the reason is probably because she and my mom truly loved each other. i never had a problem with that. till then i liked how they got along with each other. my mother called me a liar and she said she'd disinherit me from her will as she's not having a cheater as a son. she said she never wents to see me again. then later my grandparents called me to tell me how disappointed they are of me and that i deserve every bad thing that is to come. you know what the worst thing was? i found out that my cheating ex girlfriend continued to meet with my mom after everything she did.

all of this was so painful for me. the only person that sided with me was my best friend who was furious with her. i talked to him and he hugged me and i cried in his arms. i know many people would think thats unusual for two guys. but his support really helped me getting through this. one year later when i already was over it my doorbell rang and when i opened i saw my mom with teary eyes and i began to feel how my emotions are coming up and i slammed the door and started crying asking her what the f*ck she wants here.

she said she wanted to talk to me and that she was so sorry. after she begged for 15 minutes straight i gave in and opened the door. she said my ex admitted that she cheated when she was drunk. she apologized profusely and said that she knows that she failed as a mother not believing her own child.

i told her that i accept her apology but i don't want to see her now and that i probably can never forgive her. even though she begged me to forgive her. over the last few months she started calling me daily "just to hear my voice" as she said. she said she missed me then apologized again and asked if i could just come over. her voice always sounded kinda painful and she always says how much she loves me and that even she could understand that i hate her she cannot live with this thought on her head. i don't even hate her. i still love her. she is still my mom but the trust is broken.

i can never trust her again because what if i got into a relationship again. who says that she wouldn't just believe their word over mine again? i appreciate her efforts but i just cannot forgive her or even see her now. and i hope she understands that i need time.

And here’s the update: 

After reading too many comments yesterday i decided to meet with my mom today to clarify everything. I texted her to come over and she didn't hesitate. she literally appeared at my door within 15 minutes.

many of you pointed out good points i should ask her. even though she called several times we rarely really talked. so when she came over i sat her down in the living room. there i asked about my grandparents, her will and if she is still in contact with my ex.

she explained that she had told my grandparents and she expected them to call me but it seems like they were too stubborn. she also said i'm in her will again. she then started talking shit about my ex. she said that when she found out she punched her so hard that my ex lost a few teeth. I very much doubt the accuracy of this story detail but i wanted to share it anyway because for me it was a funny thing to think about. she said she told her to "f*ck off" and threw her out of the house.

she then again started apologizing profusely and telling me that she knows how hard she messed up and that i probably can never trust her but she wants to do "everything in her power" to make this right. she explained that the man before my father had cheated on her so infidelity was a sensitive topic for her. and then she said that she regrets not believing me or even remotely hearing my side of the story.

i sat quiet while she explained all this. i then asked her how i know that i could trust her now. what would happen if i got into a similiar situation and if she would just throw me away again. she said i have her word and i replied that her word is basically meaningless as i don't trust her in the first place.

she didn't reply to that answer properly and again begged me to forgive. i told her that i cannot forgive her for now and maybe i will never be able to forgive her but i also see her efforts and if she wants me in her life again then she has to show me that i can count on her. she started tearing up. i could tell she tried to hold in her tears the entire time. but then she broke down crying and with a wimpering voice she asked if she at least could give me a hug. i accepted that and she said she's gonna make this right no matter what it takes and then she left.

now while i am kinda touched in how she shows how much she regrets doing what she did i am really concerned about my own reaction. when she broke down and i saw my own mother there on the floor crying i didn't feel anything. i wasn't sad, i wasn't angry, i wasn't happy and i certainly didn't show any sort of empathy for her. i just couldn't. during the year of having no contact with her i refused to go to therapy. maybe its not to late to do that now.

in the end i want to thank all of you for your nice comments and support. i tried to read every single one of your comments but the post kinda exploded way more than i expected. have a nice day!

(I know the pictures look different. I was looking at the post on my computer instead of on my phone and taking a screenshot) 

 I can’t look at this mother as a victim. I really don’t understand why the 2nd commenter doesn’t see what she did wrong. This wasn’t just a brief time where she believed the ex girlfriend and then apologized (to her son). This took a year to get to that point. she blatantly turned her back on him and took this a step further. 

Regardless of how close she felt to this ex girlfriend or how much anger she was carrying because she was cheated on previously, that’s her son 

[phuljari]

a think piece on how arnav singh raizada realised his feelings for khushi

of course, it would have been discussed numerous times before, we all know what happened and when it happened. i'm thinking more along the lines of why it happened this way. why did it take him so long to realise that these visceral reactions he has over her did not really stem from a place of hate, that hate was just a byproduct, a reaction, because he didn't realise what his emotions meant.

that it was altogether a new feeling, to be so consumed with thoughts of someone (whom you supposedly dislike). he tried so hard to run from those feelings, misdirecting them to hatred, disgust, apathy and what not. it was new— an unknown feeling that made him uncomfortable. i think in a way this echoes what i said earlier too, that arnav never really believed in love. which is why it took him ages to figure out why the hell he was so obsessed with someone who shouldn't even matter to him. i think what he hates the most about feeling attracted to khushi (aside from the fact that he never imagined himself with a girl like her? ie. see how he berates her: status, class, money, god-fearing etc) is the way she makes him feel— weak. and that's the feeling this man has rarely, if ever, felt for anyone outside his family.

also, elaborating on the statement that arnav didn't believe in love (even though no one asked for it lol), it is imperative to add that he has seen love exist, only barely, with nana-nani or whatever stories he heard about them and between mama and mamiji. but what else did he also see? that his dad cheated on his mom. that anjali's first wedding got broken off. and even though anjali was relatively happy with shyam— it wasn't a relationship he had experienced in his childhood, which is generally the time when your experiences shape you the most. so maybe he believed that love exists, to some degree, but not the whole unfiltered ~i would die for you~ love. remember how he convinced mamiji to accept payal? with the 'raizada' reputation? so he hadn't really experienced the best examples of love either.

unlike popular belief that arnav never felt deserving of love, i think that he never completely believed in it. especially not for a man like him who has to be careful around every turn because everyone around him is expecting to benefit from him. remember, this man is hella confident, and believes completely in himself (almost to the point of narcissism, esp in the early ipk days) and his ego is justified, afterall he did do a lot by himself and he's not bluffing about any of it. this man doesn't doubt himself, he could have anything he wanted. even love— that lavanya was willing to give him. but he doesn't believe in his ability to love, not after what he had seen with his parents.

which is exactly why this new confusing feeling, these obsessive thoughts about khushi, the way he felt weak and defeated in front of her was so absurd for him that he couldn't even realise that he was attracted to her. (with her, he has realised his ability to love, to want someone so desperately.) but instead he kept challenging her in order to make her feel weak and defeated. projecting much, sir?

and to be fair, arnav has mostly been a man of his words— truthful. if he said he didn't believe in love before he experienced it with khushi, it means he genuinely didn't. anyway, that's my take.

i have so much more to talk about this man!! for example how his diabetes is literally a metaphor because he can't have 'sweet' things in life?? 'sweet' here literally meaning happiness! happiness translation: khushi. and having diabetes compliments his character so well too? like he was cruel, cold-hearted and bitter (esp about his past, that he never could overcome) and so it aligned pretty well with khushi's 'meetha khaiye meetha boliye' kyuki arnav ko toh meetha bolna hi nahi aata! usse toh meetha mana hai na!

if you're still reading, thanks for sticking around lol

[zooweemama143]

misc greaser backstory headcanons because i'm bored and it's time for this fandom to hear my lukewarm hot takes <ब₍₍( ˃̗εू˂ )₎₎<ब

johnny and lola's fatal relationship flaws are learned from their respective sets of parents.

johnny grew up witnessing his parents' tumultuous marriage and often felt like he was walking on eggshells due to his father's possessiveness and short fuse. mrs. vincent stayed, no matter how much her husband's fits of rage scared her because she felt she had a duty to her family. her one silver lining was that at least he never laid a hand on her (no, he'd only punch the walls near her or throw dinnerware– that's not abuse, is it? was just one of the numerous feeble defenses johnny would hear from his mom.) (the one time she DID defend herself, the situation escalated and eventually landed both of johnny's parents in prison. because he was already 18 when this happened, social services did not get involved.)

lola's father cheated on her mom and as a result, she's never had any stable relationships beyond short-lived flings. ms. lombardi consequently passed her bitterness about the affair and the divorce onto her daughter; it didn't help that lola's father stopped giving a shit about her after he married his affair partner and started a family with her. witnessing her family breaking apart, her mother wrecking her life with numerous toxic flings, and the father she used to love so dearly doting on his son with his new wife had not only resulted in non-committal tendencies, but also a dislike of men that borders on misandry.

(on that, i feel like a case can be made that lola's a closeted lesbian with MAD comphet, but that's a story for another time.)

peanut's home life is nearly similar to johnny's, but what sets them apart is the fact that peanut's father– alongside his verbal abuse– outright beats him; that's where his intense napoleon complex stems from. initially, his mother was the victim of his father's rage, but the older peanut grew, the more he fought back for her. consequently, at some point, he essentially became his father's outlet for his rage. he hates losing fights, being made to feel small and weak, because, well– if he can't fight back, who'll be there to protect his mom?

norton's family is relatively more normal and maybe even more stable than the rest of his clique's, but they're– unsurprisingly– not without their own issues. i feel like most of the conflict within the williams' family stems from the clashing ideals between norton and his dad; norton's a guy who was radicalized at a young age (since he's quite well-read), and his father– a police officer– represents the authority and the system he hates so much. becoming a greaser was not only teenage rebellion, but also a way to show that he outright rejects what his father believes in; he resents him for being a sellout. officer williams is aware of this.

vance is the only son among a brood of daughters. the second eldest child, he shares a close bond with his younger sisters, but a hesitant, nearly strained relationship with his older sister. their father is absent, and their mother overworked, so both of them are parentified– even if ms. medici didn't intend for that to happen. vance's never been shy about his bisexuality, and the unorthodox way he expresses his masculinity is a source of contention for his sister. she resents how carefree he is, how arbitrary his priorities are (like his obsession with his appearance, his social standing amongst the greasers, and his various romances in bullworth). their father couldn't be the man of the house, and now vance can't even fill in that role if he tried.

as implied by some of his voicelines, hal's fatness is (not so) secretly a major source of insecurities for him. his mother truly tries to be as supportive as she can be, but his father– perhaps another alumni of bullworth, maybe even a former jock?– is especially harsh on him, his "tough love" bordering on outright verbal abuse. hal was initially sent to bullworth in order to "whip him into shape" (both figuratively and literally), and his dad hit the roof when he found out that hal decided to join the greasers instead of getting into something "worthwhile". he tries to be as confident as he's making himself seem, though his dad's comments about his body and his hobbies and his friends cut deep.

ricky was essentially raised by his older brother (a former greaser himself). their parents have never been in the picture, and they were initially raised by their hyperreligious, paranoid grandmother before ricky's brother had enough– he moved out at 18 and took ricky with him. he had to take numerous odd jobs just to support them, ultimately dropping out of his last year in bullworth and forgoing college in favor of working. despite their similar personalities and interests, this is why they often clash– ricky's brother had to sacrifice his schooling for him, and he wants nothing more than for ricky to be responsible and successful. to be the opposite of who he was.

on the other hand, lucky essentially raised his younger siblings (a sister and a brother). his mom walked out on his family when he was still a kid; consequently, his dad fell into a deep depression, was laid off from his job, and turned to alcohol and gambling. lucky had to step up to the plate and be the man of the house in his stead. he's not quite sure who he resents more: his mom, for walking out; his dad, for taking away his remaining childhood; or the system, for fucking them all up in the first place.

lefty is a latch-key kid. both of his parents may be present in his life, but it's as if they're not all that interested in their son– he doesn't quite know why, but there's the implication that he's an accident; one that forced them to have a shotgun marriage despite not being in love anymore. they provide the bare minimum for him, but not much beyond that; whether its gifts or affection. he'll claim he's given up on trying to win their love a long time ago, but he can't deny that with every new scar he earns, he wishes they'd notice. at least once. (with concern or anger, it doesn't matter anymore.)

[rachelsshowerthoughts]

Aware AU thought but, https://www.tumblr.com/tumblingxelian/754631895572267008/justanotherpersonsuniverse-i-didnt-watch?source=share

This very much gives the idea that Lila's mother is the intensely absent, IE neglectful parent who compensates by saying sweet things but doesn't back it up with any action.

Which likely also made it harder for Lila to really communicate her issues because her mom says nice things, she makes sure she has food, & sometimes spends time around her.

Who would believe her mom is anything but a bit busier than Lila would like? Don't be spoiled Lila, your mother works so hard for you!

With her likely internalizing her mothers sweet nothings as lies & lying herself to trick others to get by a little easier, to get a little attention she so craves, to cover for problems or mistakes.

I think the song Our Word would sum her up very well, either just the first portion as here here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y3DVFF0spY Or the full song here, which could also maybe represent a sort of, "This is what I could have become" angle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9RHJTpLOVk

so, first off, the first thing I thought when I heard the song in its entirety was "Musical Lila!Akuma", so that’s going to live rent free in my head all day.

yeah, I think the implication is definitely supposed to be "absent mom" (though I think this is before the "multi-mom" nonsense) and I always took it as, the one thing Lila DOES tell the truth about is her mom's job. Ambassador is up in the air, but definitely works for the Italian embassy, which would actually go a long way to explaining a lot about Lila.

If Lila's mom is an Italian ambassador, Lila probably is well travelled, and probably has met SOME important people, at least by proxy. The best lies have a kernel of truth in there somewhere, after all. It’s plausible she could have met most of these people. She's also probably never in the same place longer than a year or so. She moves to a lot of new places, many of which may or may not have a language in common with her. She probably never shows up at the start of a school year, but partway through, when everyone's already formed their friend groups. She’s always "the new girl", either seen as a weird foreigner, or a shiny new toy with fun stories of other places. But how many people stick around when the stories dry up? Better make more stories, better stories, so you aren’t alone - and then it doesn’t even matter, because you'll be gone in six months, and eventually all your "friends" have steady lives to get back to, so they stop calling, stop texting, and you're right back where you started.

Plus, how much time do you think she's actually spent in Italy, in her own house, since she was little? Does she see the rest of her family?

Also, I find it interesting we don’t see her dad. Mostly cause the other kids have either really well established home lives, or we ignore them, with the implication they are "normal". If there are single parents, we eventually do get explanations - Anarka either never told Jagged or he decided he wouldn’t be a good dad, Mylene's mom sucked, Felix's dad died (and also sucked), we won't even get into Gabriel and Emilie. I think the only other "Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Show" parent we get no info on is Kagami's dad. So, where's Mr. Rossi?

Sick? Died? Missing? Divorced? Was he a nice guy? Equally neglectful? Did he know about Lila's lies? Did he encourage it? Ignore it? Is Mrs. Rossi acting like this cause of something to do with her husband? Is she mourning him? Did he cheat on her? Was she even ever married? Is Lila technically a bastard baby? Or is her mom truly a single mom - wanted a kid, went through IVF?

(I mean, I have similar questions about Kagami's dad, but if we keep the Sentimonster stuff, along with everything else, then it does actually make sense that Tomoe never had a romantic partner of any kind, she just wanted a kid/heir, no partner was involved at any point)

@tumblingxelian

[bradleymorrisx]

Self Para: @bradleymorrisx

Where: Brad's apartment and then New Bellevoux Pediatrics

When: August 2024

"Nope. This is not happening," Brad said aloud, to no one in particular though Bluey did look up from chewing on his bones momentarily. My mom told me that my birth father is some doctor guy named James Morris from New Bellevoux and that’s how I found your Facebook was not the type of message Brad ever thought he'd ever get. Especially not from some random girl on the internet who is claiming to be a sibling. No that's not possible, he'd most certainly remember having another sibling especially since he would have been a young adult when they were born. In an instant his world went from normal, to some random ass chick on the internet thinking she's his brother. Though he didn't believe it, he had to make sure for himself.

Racing down to the practice, he unlocked the door and shut off the alarm, thankfully it was after hours and no one was around. Not even his dad who liked to stay late and help out with the paperwork and get ready for tomorrow's patients. No, Brad was alone and though there were cameras around those were the least of his worries. He needed to find some paperwork to calm his racing mind and racing heart. To tell him that this Margo girl was off her rocker and probably just wants money or something. But he had no idea where to look or what he'd even be looking for.

As he slipped into his father's office, he took a deep breath, one that might have been the only thing preventing him from hyperventilating. Closing the door behind him, he scanned the room before doing anything. Could he really have cheated on mom? He thought, shaking his head and pushing whatever thoughts to the side. Stepping around the desk, he sat in the chair, folding his hands and leaning his chin on them as he thought of where to start. Then checking his watch, he noticed the time at 9:49 pm and got to work.

After what seemed like hours, Brad found himself on the floor, looking at the second to last file cabinet along the back wall of the office. He was down to the law drawer and when the tried to close it, he saw what looked like a Manila envelope taped to the underside of it. "What the fuck," he said out loud and peeled it off, hands trembling as he opened it up. Staying on the floor, he emptied it's contents and spread them out in front of him. There must have been dozens of letters from a Stephanie Gardner, the same woman who Margo said was her mom. Then just before picking up one of the letters, he noticed a copy of a birth certificate, with the same woman listed as mother and the baby as Margo.

Shaking his head, his hands shaking even more, he gathered up the paperwork after snapping a photo of the birth certificate and put it's contents back where he found it. He was both furious and upset, as his world was crashing down. Before putting his phone back into his pocket, he needed to talk to someone. But that someone who he'd usually vent to and bounce ideas off of couldn't know about this. Not yet. So against his better judgment, he pulled up the contact information for an old friend and asked if he was awake and if he could meet up. By now it was 12:03 am and he was wide awake, hopped up on adrenaline and needed to talk to someone.