#but I KNOW a big part of the reason I like these things IS just personal sentiment! EYE know that

[celuere]

when our hearts intertwine

pt. 2 of tangled hearts

pairing: arlecchino x fem!harbinger reader

context: you can’t help but collide on a stressful day.

cw: one-sided hate sex, arle being a pathetic lesbian, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, arle orgasms while eating pussy what a looser, yearning lesbians, mutual pining omg im so sick, homophobic crucabena uhm, mentions of drug handling and sex work, sexual harassment for like one short paragraph

word count: 5.2k

wanted to give reader a certain character depth so i added a few flashbacks. also didnt‘t flesh reader‘s backstory out by a lot on purpose since i wanted to leave space for y’all’s self inserts or ocs lore mwuah

you hated harbinger discussions.

not because pierro thought it was an amazing idea to announce this meeting the same morning you woke up with a dreadful headache from last evening‘s… wine tasting.

but because you had to look at her face.

one would think she‘d return the gesture and blatantly ignore you, but no. her eyes slipped over to you at least once every few minutes. studying you with an unfulfilled desire burning in her crimson x‘s, it almost made you think she felt guilty. but for what?

there was nothing she should possibly feel guilty for. she just tossed you aside without further explanation and took a pretty thing back to her hotel yesterday. you knew. of course you did. the apologetic look on her face yesterday was all you needed.

and now she sat there in front of you. with the guts to look sorry. after ignoring your attempts to mend things, waving you off when you tried talking to her, it pissed you off. greatly. for all the same reasons that make her an outstanding diplomat of her majesty, she was unbelievable bad with her feelings. but you could handle her fairly well in the past. 

she couldn‘t find the words to talk to you after moments of shared vulnerability and intimacy? tracing her curse marks while resting her head on top her bare chest while you listened to the steady beat of her heart was also fine with you. she never outright confessed how deep her feelings for you actually went but you never minded it when she‘d sent you whole poems each day she wasn‘t near enough to bathe in the comfort of your presence.

but now the sight of her almost ticked you off. childe raised an eyebrow as he noticed your clenched jaw before his eyes wandered over to his colleague, raising an eyebrow at how her gaze seemingly pinned you to your chair.

arlecchino seemed to catch up to the ginger‘s lingering attention on her, raising an eyebrow herself as she stared him down. he knew exactly what that lookmeant.

„mind your own business.“

he just sank back into his chair with a sigh tickling the back of his throat.

„i didn’t know i was taking care of a bunch kindergarteners today, lady brighella. care to enlighten us as to why you seemingly want to stab lord arlecchino with your eyes? maybe if you look hard enough she‘ll manage a sneeze.“, the jesters raw, low tone bounced off the marmor walls of zapolyarny palace as he folded his hands in front of him.

perfect. the last thing you needed was your superior berating you in front of your colleagues like a 12 year old. 

„with all due respect, sir pierro, i have no idea what you’re talking about.“, you didn’t plan on humiliating yourself any further, so you avoided looking back into arlecchino‘s direction.

you missed the deathgrip in which she engulfed her glass of wine.

„seize it, brighella. spare me the theatrics, i already bestowed you with your part of the plan. you‘re dismissed.“, a gloved hand waved you off into the direction of the exit, the guards already starting to pull the big mahogany door open for your leave.

your mouth fell slightly open.

he did not just kick you out. 

for something she was responsible for.

„you‘re dismissing me because a certain person in this room can‘t seem deal with the consequences of her ow-”

„i‘m dismissing you because your recent attitude is irritating and nowhere near reasonable for someone your age and status. i won’t repeat myself“, now narrowing his eyes at you, pierro nodded his head into the direction of the widely opened door.

you were 100% sure a blood vessel just popped in your forehead by how hard you were biting down whatever insults rested on your tongue. 

making sure the feet of your chair were screeching loudly enough as you shoved yourself back from the table, you snatched up your stuff and rushed out of the conference room.

to hell with them.

„no need to follow her, lord arlecchino. you‘re still needed in this conversation.“

and to hell with her too.

„she looks miserable. i have never seen her like that. ever.“

„i don’t care, ajax.“

„don‘t you think you should at least try and talk to her? i get that you are angry, you have every right to that, but you can‘t keep on going out of your way to make her feel so bad instead of-”

„ajax, would it hurt you to shut up for once?“, tone so sharp it could cut through the icy heart of her majesty itself. you were so sick. so sick of your friend trying to play therapist. sure, ajax was despite his title as „the childe“ still a kind-hearted soul who wanted only the best for his comrades but after weeks and weeks of failed attempts to mingle into yours and arlecchino’s relationship… you wanted to strangle him now.

„i am merely trying to help. you know her better than i do, it couldn‘t possibly hurt to just… talk with her“, the ginger crossed his arms now and tilted his head. those blue eyes trying to read you. trying to pry into your thoughts and soul.

„get out, tartaglia.“

you could only make out the faint cussing beneath his breath as he slammed the door to your laboratory shut behind him.

a deafening silence filled the room, a soft comfort to your boiling blood. you allowed yourself to sink back into the cushions of your chair as you repeated his words over and over in your mind. 

„talk to her.“

what is there to talk about? you were never in a serious relationship. you rarely woke up next to her after another one of your nightly rendezvous. you never spent the mornings together with making breakfast. neither of you ever allowed yourselves to whisper those three words during moments of raw skin, needy kisses and shared vulnerability. sure, they lingered on your tongue. you could taste them. most of the time they tasted like bad alcohol, reminding you of how they were best kept to yourself, how you’d regret opening up your heart to her, just like you would regret a bad glass of wine.

will it ever stop? the sharp pain in your chest anytime your gaze wandered over to her? it was cruel. so cruel for her to have this kind of effect on you. it‘s not easy to sit though hour long meetings and discussions when she is sitting in the same room as you. breathing the same air as you. feeling those bloody x‘s resting on your face for longer than you would like. it caused your heart to swell and your chest to tighten. your thoughts suddenly growing to loud for your head, blending out the heated conversations occurring just a meter away from you as your breath grows heavy, lungs feeling suddenly so awfully small and tight. 

you almost lost it last night, when she led this strange lady over the dance floor. chuckling with her. eyeing her up and down like she used to do it with you when you were laying helpless and naked underneath her.

it almost knocked the air out of your lungs when she still had the nerve to lock eyes with you for the last time of the evening. a look full of despair and agony. screaming. screaming to you. for you. and all you could do was sit there. watch and try to delude yourself about the reasons why she would leave with this woman. alone.

you were in love with arlecchino peruere.

and there was nothing you could do about it.

„Peruere?“, the afternoon breeze gently brushed through the hearth‘s garden, a few loose hairstrands now hindering your view on the kneeling girl in front of you. she seemed to be focused on the little grasshopper that‘s been sitting in her palm for a while now.

„hm…?“, those unique pupils slowly averted their gaze up to you, but not before they lingered on the bandage that covered up the most recent addition to your collection of scars. 

„mother said i‘m getting adopted tomorrow.“

a gust of wind hit peruere right into the face, sending the small insect off her hand. the happy chirping of the birds that surrounded the estate just a few moments ago seized from existence as your words rung in her ears. echoing through her usual raging mind. but right now there was nothing but silence.

what was that feeling boiling up in her stomach?

„don‘t you have anything to say, peru…?“, you almost looked a little hurt, your tone growing nervous. shouldn‘t she be happy for these news? for you? at the chance of escaping this living hell where death was looming at every corner?

then why couldnt she help but feel… anxious at the thought of you leaving her and clervie behind? no more evenings spent together patching each other up. no more sneaking out of the safety of your beds to go gazing upon the stars. clervie would always give them funny names while you‘d give them meanings. 

all of that would disappear. be different. feel wrong without you.

„no… no i‘m glad for you… it‘s just…“, the white-haired girl seemed to struggle with finding the right words for you. she didn‘t want to offend you or make you feel like you should rather stay here in this slaughterhouse. 

a rare wave of unease washed over you at her loss for words. was she angry with you? even disappointed? but the way those crimson x‘s darted around the ground, as if she was searching for answers between the rainbow roses surrounding you told you something else.

you were just about to say something as peruere‘s blackened fingertips snaked around your hands, giving them an almost desperate squeeze as she rose up from her knees. and she was still a head smaller than you. but you bit that remark down. or rather it was quickly forgotten by the way your heart pounded in your chest. sending your blood racing through your veins.

mother always preached about how two girls looking at each other like this was wrong. sinful. but how could the warmth of your skin against hers feel so right? the way her eyes found your lips and then locked gaze with the shimmering color of yours. it didn‘t make any sense.

„peruere, wha-“

„i promise to find you again. to come looking for you with clervie at the first chance we earn.“

but fate had different plans for the three of you.

neither did she come looking for you. five years have passed and now you were both stuck in the harbinger ranks. it has been a week since peruere‘s arlecchino’s appointment as the knave and she didnt do more than nod into your direction on her first day. was it the pressure? clervie‘s and mother‘s blood sticking to her hands? a few weeks ago she was considered a teenager, now she is running the house of the hearth all by herself. a seventeen year old in charge of other children as traumatized and scarred as her. the only difference? arlecchino has always been a natural at masking her true feelings. the average fatui subordinate is already describing her as „cunning“, „cold“, „manipulative“. and it angered you. everything angered you recently.

you‘ve bore the title as „brighella“ for barely five months but compared to her, your workload has been easy. potions here, poisons there. interrogating traitor‘s or possible spies before eventually executing them after turning them into your own personal test subjects… you‘ve experienced worse. and still. 

you were farther away from her than ever before.

the stench of bitter opium and long forgotten dreams caused you to scratch the tip of your nose. your sense of smell is definitely going to be fucked up once you made it out of here. hopefully without having to wash the blood and innard off of your clothes from the man sitting before you. 

„lady brighella… i didn‘t expect a harbinger visiting my charming establishment today.“, reaching over to light up yet another cigarette, while his other hand rested on one of his… lady‘s behind, you ignored the other one taking care of whatever is going on between his legs.

pig.

if it weren‘t for the sake of pierro‘s plan you would have blown this place up to bits long ago. but you needed a sample of his opium before you can follow your own ambitions regarding this dirt hole. 

nod-krai has always been known for their suspicious activity regarding drugs, weapons, sex work and unethical researches. why the tsaritsa didn‘t order the organization to shut them down for good? you don‘t often find logical reasoning within your archons plans, didn‘t need to. that‘s not why she appointed you with your title.

„i‘ve come to maybe negotiate a deal between the two of us. it has come to our attention that you‘ve been tinkering with our trading routes lately in favor of your… totally legal business.“, the last three words were laced with an undertone only a diplomat could allow themselves in this part of snezhnaya. you could see his breathing stop for the shortest moment, pupils darting around the room before he gestured the various women to get off of him.

„speak. what is your deal with us.“, he thankfully zipped up his pants rather fast. you wanted to avoid a direct look into his crotch so you rather transferred your attention to the small spider webbing it‘s way down on your shoulder.

deciding to ignore his rather disrespectful tone, you spoke up, „deal is the wrong word… perhaps an ultimatum would fit the terms i‘m about to offer you much better. we‘ll so gratefully allow you to continue to run your… extraordinary establishment if you were so kind to hand us over around…“, fifty. you needed fifty milliliters, „eighty milliliters of your finest opium.“

his jaw ticked before he decided to stand up from the plushy red sofa. he did not like that.

„you fatui scum always think you can walk in here with your ridiculous terms and deals and expect us to bow down. the least they could do is send in a fucking man instead of a stuck-up bitch. 340k or your leaving empty handed, no matter how often you swing your fancy title around.“, he took a deep inhale of his cigarette before blowing out the smoke right into your face. you merely waved it off.

you should have taken capitano with you when he offered to accompany you. however, you never needed a man‘s help to get where you are today. you certainly don’t need it now.

„340k for eighty milliliters is anything but reasonable. you want to take a moment and rethink your decision, i assure you.“, usually you‘re not a fan of letting your strength speak unlike a certain orange-haired friend of yours, but despite the temperature of the room slowly beginning to drop- well… at least they should start to drop, but the frost on the window melted away as fast as it came. and when did it start becoming so warm? either way your attempt to direct this negotiation in your favor crumbled to dust. and directly attacking was something you wanted to avoid at all costs. words it were then.

„unreasonable, you say? does 100k and my dick down your throat sound better to you, sugar?“, a shiver ran down at the sound of his sultry voice cooing right into your ear, his disgustingly warm breath which reeked of a bad oral hygiene and rotting food almost forced your breakfast back up into your mouth. and he had the audacity to lay his filthy fucking hand on your ass.

„what do you think abo-“, a crisp snap bounced off of the walls before tuning out in a far away echo. the room was suddenly engulfed in darkness as the candles on top of the crystalline chandelier were stripped of their flames. 

„am i interrupting something?“

your blood ran cold at the sound of her voice filling the room before you blinked and stared up at a pair of bloody x‘s glowing amidst the darkness as arlecchino cleared her throat and the office was drowned once again in a dim light. 

and before you was standing the knave.

her fatui coat hanging loose around her shoulders and she made sure to make use of her sudden appearance when her eyes glided over to the bastard behind you. too bad you were missing the priceless look on his face. he was shitting himself senseless.

„l-lady arlecchino-! wh-what a pleasant surprise to welcome you here today-! if i had k-known about your visit i-i would have arranged according preparations for you-! can i offer you-“

„spare me the drama, monsieur laurenz and let go of my… colleague. it‘s in everyone’s best interest.“, not waiting for his reaction, she pulled you close to her side with a grip so… gentle despite her obvious cold, almost pissed off demeanor. 

you ignored how your heart tightened at this simple touch between the two of you. how on earth did she know you were here? and why is he seemingly shitting himself at the simple sight of her?

„o-oh, i was just about to wrap up a deal with lady brighella-! girls, hundred milliliters of our finest opium, pronto-!“, as soon as laurenz clapped his hands, the ladies were out and about hurrying into the back.

„ah, then i must have had something on my eyes when your hand was touching her inappropriately just a few moments ago, right?“, if looks were deadly he would already be bleeding out on the floor by now.

feeling like a damsel in distress that just got saved from her knight in shining armor, the feeling slowly but surely turned into something… bitter… sour. she made you look like a fool who can‘t wrap up a deal all by herself without things escalating and losing the upper hand. you almost ripped your wrist free of her grip. 

you cut the monsieur off as he was about to explain himself, „he was just about to hand me over a hundred milliliters for the cheap price of 50k mora.“

arlecchino cocked an eyebrow at the number you just named.

„50k? let‘s make it 10k along with an apology to lady brighella, right monsieur?“

„i- o-oh surely-! lady brighella, i am offering my sincerest apologies for my inappropriate behavior and remarks-!“, even when he bowed down to you, you could see the visible drops of sweat that formed on his bald head.

just what did that woman do to him that reduced this arrogant douchebag to nothing more than a stuttering idiot?

because it turned you on.

„it‘s whatever… but i appreciate your forthcomings a lot…“, your voice came out bitter, despite the perfect outcome. it made you look like you needed her. and you didn‘t. never. at least thats the lie you believed to be true.

when the workers finally came back carrying a wooden boy wrapped in a fancy golden ribbon, it was time for you get the hell out of here.

„monsieur, make sure the lady makes it out of here safely. i still have some personal business to take care of with you.“

„that won‘t be necessary, but thank you, arlecchino. i‘ll see myself out on my own.“

you noticed her clenched jaw almost immediately. your refusal didn‘t seem to sit well with her. good.

once back in your laboratory, you didn‘t waste any time and got to work on your researches. measuring around ten milliliters of the opium in one of your graduated cylinders as the bone marrow mixture boiled over the bunsen burner in the corner while you wrote down every single one of your observations. you still had to mix up some other stuff that‘s sitting neatly organized on the iron table in front of you. 

if it were a normal evening you would have gone to bed long ago.

but today was anything but an ordinary day. you couldn‘t stop thinking about the recent events in nod-krai. couldn‘t shake the feeling of your body growing hot and needy at the bare presence of arlecchino. and my god you hated it. you hated how your body betrayed you in every way when it came to her. you didn‘t want to feel this way towards her. didn‘t want this weakness in your profile any longer. being near her felt like offering a recovering alcoholic a glass of wine. 

your worries were consuming you to a point where you didn‘t notice the door to your laboratory opening and shutting again. softly.

„we need to talk. please…“

you didn‘t flinch at the sudden interruption. merely paused your movements for a brief second before continuing.

„go home, arle. there is nothing to talk about.“

„i am home.“

you set the erlenmeyer flask back down on the table before you dropped it on accident. or crushed it on purpose.

„no need to lie to yourself. not when it‘s just the two of us.“

„the least you could do is look me in the eyes instead of turning your back to me.“, you did not turn around. nor did you answer her. not because you didn‘t want to. but it‘s hard to form any words when your heart is almost jumping out of your chest. stupid, stupid heart.

for a good few seconds arlecchino kept quiet. it‘s like waiting for a storm to come.

„a simple thank you for my help back in nod-krai would have sufficed.“

now whipping your head around, the words spilled out faster from your mouth than you could have stopped them.

„thanking you for what? making me look like a stupid coward?! well, thank you, o holy knave for helping me make a fool out of myself! now get the fuck out of my lab.“, your words were dripping with anger. your heart now racing for completely different reasons as you tried stabbing her with your eyes.

but arlecchino was unmoved. if it weren‘t for the agonizing look in her face. 

„i did not make you look like a coward. you were in need of help. i happened to be the-“

„you made me look weak.“, your bare tone could have cut through the thickest steel with ease. 

„…we both know that‘s a blatant lie.“

„just like you lied to me when you promised to find me again. and now you‘re just tossing me aside-“

„stop it with the accusations, i did not-“

„you tossed me aside. you took someone else to bed and you‘ve been the reason for every single one of my problems in the past damned weeks and yet-“, you nearly didn‘t notice how your feet dragged you towards her, „you have the nerve to stand before me, berate me and act like you didn‘t rip my heart out, peruere!“, your voice cracked as you raised your voice at her. merely a few inches seperating the space between you and arle looked… besotted with you. her breath came out shaking as she eyed you down with a glimmer so gentle and lovingly in them that it caused you to take step back from her. 

„s-say something… fucking hell arle, say something…!“, the anger boiling beneath your skin slowly turning into something akin to embarrassment, causing your cheeks to slowly start flushing in a dark red.

„say… say it again…“, her words barely came out as a whisper.

„i-i beg your pardon…?“

„my name. say it again…“, a cursed hand suddenly grabbed after your wrist to pull you back closer to her. gentle. light enough for you to pull away if you pleased.

but you didn‘t.

„arle-“

„not that one…“, you could hear how trembled her breath came out when she slowly bent down to your face.

every signal inside your body screamed at you to pull away. to smack her across the face. to not let her red-painted lips touch your uncolored ones.

but your heart betrayed you once again.

„peruere…“

she was over you in an instant. lips coming crashing down on yours as she pushed you backwards until your ass met the edge of the table. tongue pushing its way into your mouth as her hands cupped your face so sickenly tender as if she was scared you‘d pull away if her grip dared to get too tight. she tasted so sweet. of love, desire and all the things you‘ve missed in the past weeks. she licked up the mixed spit covering your chin before plunging right back onto your lips. your moans getting mixed up in the crash of unspoken apologies and a love that never had the chance to fully start blooming.

she was quick to put you up on the table but not before carelessly shoving any obstacles out of her. a glass shattered on the floor. you didn‘t care when her fingers hooked underneath the hem of your pants.

„lift… kiss lift your hips for me…“, she moves the attention down to your neck as you oblige with a hum, now peppering desperate, wet kisses all over your skin down to your torso until the fabric has been removed just enough for your legs to shake them off. 

you could feel her smile against your sweaty skin before working up your shirt over your breasts that were covered in a plain white bra.

she still licked her lips at the sight.

„so beautiful…“, your stomach flared up at her longing gaze before a black hand went around your back to open up the hindrance on your chest, merely shoving it up to expose your already hardened nipples to her sight. she loved it. loved how bare you looked underneath her. how your body was already overheating and the stain on your panties she noticed earlier… it made it so easy for her to slip a hand in your panties. she never stopped clipping those two specific nails. thank celestia.

„the distance between us nearly killed me, doll.“, you moaned as her lips engulfed your nipple while two of her fingers slipped so easily inside of your wetness. you were already pulsating around her by the time her digits found your weak spot. you arched into her, fingers running through her silky hair as you gasped for each time she so effortlessly rubbed your inner walls to mush. 

your tit was long covered in her lipstick and spit by the time she switched sides. biting, nibbling and sucking at you, it just didn‘t seem to stop for her, or you.

when deciding she paid girls enough attention she moved back up to your face, lips hovering just a few millimeters above yours.

„ride my hand, pretty girl… c‘mon now, you can do that for me…“, with another devilish curl of her fingers you started moving your hips in sync with the movements of her hand. your moans bouncing off the tiled walls and right into her handsome face. she only smiled down at you.

„just like that… look at how tightly you‘re gripping my fingers…“, with another hit to your sensitive spot you creamed over her fingers, her name falling like a desperate prayer from your lips as you covered her in your arousal.

arle cooed, letting you ride it all out on her hand as you felt the weight fall off of your heart along with your climax. you were never aware how much you needed that. needed that from her. how much you needed peruere to shower you face in gentle kisses as her fingers leave your warmth before she made you watch as she licked your slick of her fingers. groaning at the taste of you. and she wanted needed more of that. but before she could sink down onto her knees before you, you stopped.

„d-do you really think you deserve that…?“

„e-excuse me…?“, her eyes darted down to your soaked slip and back up to your face. she felt like she was gonna burn from the inside out of she couldn‘t bury her tongue into you in the next seconds.

„do you… deserve to eat after what you‘ve done…?“.

you were talking about isabella.

„i… no… no, i don‘t…“, peruere almost looked ashamed at the memories she recalled. she hated herself for that night. and you knew it.

„was she better than-“

„no.“

„hm…“

arlecchino sighed as she leaned her face against your inner thigh, „please… believe me when i tell you this… she was nothing more than a distraction, she meant nothing to me- i promise i‘ll make it up to you however i can, just- please, [name]…“, she almost let a whimper slip when you sighed.

„th-then go ahead- Ah-!“, you didn‘t remember her being this face, tongue gathering your juices in her mouth as she eagerly swallowed. it almost made you think she starved herself of any nutrients the way her groans were swallowed by your soft flesh. she was eating. with her whole heart. your slick dripping from her chin down to her neck as a pair of two strong hands kept quivering legs pressed apart. were you always so sensitive? or why were you nearly screaming over her bare tongue? your lungs burning from the lack of oxygen, you just couldn‘t get enough of it in between all the moans and gasps leaving your mouth. praying to celestia that she left your pussy intact and functioning was the only option left for you. you don‘t interrupt someone mid feast.

you tugged at her hair when you came all the way over her tongue, soft sobs starting leave your mouth at the overwhelming sensation but she didn‘t stop. it was like she was stuck in her own world which consisted of only two things: her mouth and your cunt.

eating was starting to feel wrong. she devoured you. nose deeply nuzzled into your puffy clit while she made sure her tongue left you disoriented each time she fucked it right back into you.

bon appletea or whatever you used to say back at the hearth.

suddenly her movements slowed down as she just merely whimpered against you. you could feel her rapid breaths against your wetness when she pulled away from me. she was panting.

„did… d-did you just…“, you watched her slowly get back up from between your legs, her jacket stained in your fluids which… looked oddly good on her…

„yes. what about it.“, not a single ounce of shame visible in her face. unbelievable.

you sighed as she grabbed a few tissues from a package that‘s been resting on the table before she started cleaning her face and neck up. compared to you she still looked put together if it weren’t for the messed up hair and the pussy stains on her clothes.

„are you already done…?“

she paused. looking you down before she got to work on opening up her tie.

„of course not.“

you will have a talk with her about everything tomorrow.

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Every Day That You Want

Main Masterlist

Read on A03!

Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, tooth-rotting fluff, pregnancy, pre-established relationship, marriage proposal

Summary/Warnings: You have big news for Dean. News you have to tell him, wether he likes it or not. You really hope he likes it, though.

Author's Note: Kind of a prequel to another fic of mine (Still You Want Me), but can be read alone. I just love putting big scary men in normal situations.

Word Count: 2.9k

You can do this. You’ve been to hell and back, you’ve killed angels, you’ve survived at least three apocalypses, and you’ve helped raise the Anti-Christ. This should, comparatively, be easy. 

It’s not. It’s the most daunting and terrifying thing you’ve ever done. It’s just words, but you’re going to choke on them because they could ruin your life. You’ve rehearsed in front of the mirror until your voice didn’t sound like yours anymore and nothing you said seemed real. It had been like repeating the same one word over and over again, until it’s nothing but an odd sound. Until it meant nothing.

But this has to mean something. You have to be able to say this to Dean, and you have to try and not get lost in the possibilities of how he’ll respond. He won’t leave you—Dean would never leave you—but he might tell you he doesn’t want this, and then you’ll have to make a choice. You don’t want to make a choice. You don’t want to hear Dean tell you that, with the lives you lead, this wouldn’t be a good idea. That it doesn’t matter what either of you want, because this isn’t something you get to have.

You want to have this, though. You want to have Dean and the baby. You want to have him as you’ve always had him before—strong and tired, always fighting because it’s all he knows how to do, but resting his head on your chest in the dark and humming against your lips when he kisses you—but you also want to have him in this new way. Where he’d smile for more reasons than just you and Sam and Cas. Where he’d get to direct some of that undying loyalty to someone who’d never be ungrateful, who’d would see him as a hero in a way he might finally believe. 

He’d be so good at it. Dean would spoil the kid, and teach them everything he knew, and care for them more than he’d ever care for himself. It breaks your heart sometimes, how he doesn’t kill himself for Sam, and he doesn’t drink himself to death for Cas, and he tries to get better for you, but he still doesn’t really know how to look in the mirror and not see a shadow.

And this would be the piece of him that’s never been tainted. The piece of him that crawls over you in bed just to hold you, that still watches cartoons and gets excited when he sees a cool car or hears an awesome drumline. The part of him that still cares, against all odds, and cares so much you’ve been worried it would kill him. The part of him that’s so simply made of light and love, crushed under years of his soul being bruised and beaten.

A part of him that won’t break. A part of him you love just as much as the rest of his wreckage, but that you still try to tend to, because you’ll love him the same if it vanishes, but you don’t think he deserves that. Dean deserves to only have that piece of him expand, to have it absorb all the love you throw at him, to grow until he can see it too. Until he can believe it’s there.

You know that it’s all so fucking hard. That Dean will never be all light, but you wouldn’t ever expect him to be. You know that a baby won’t fix him, not by far, but you also know it will show him he can create something. That he doesn’t poison everything he touches. 

That he made something entirely good, with you.

And if he tells you he doesn’t want this, you’ll live with that. You’ve lived with worse.

But you don’t even want to try to live with it. You’ll probably have to, but you’d like to pretend you won’t. 

The most you’re daring to pray for is that he doesn’t freak out. But angels don’t really take your calls anymore. 

So you’ll just have to hope.

You’ve set this up perfectly. There’s a pie in the oven that you will not let burn. There’s bacon and pancakes on a plate waiting for him when he finally gets his ass up. You have the whole bunker to yourself, because Sam’s off to see Eileen.

You’re not allowed to tell Dean that—Sam says he gets annoying—but you will in order to get him in a better mood. Sam’s fatal mistake was believing that you wouldn’t do anything to make Dean happy. So this is really on Sam. He’s the one that introduced you to Dean in the first place. Just because you were his friend first doesn’t mean he didn’t lose your automatic allegiance the moment he said this is my brother and his brother was the hottest man you’d ever seen. 

Sam should’ve known better. His big head should’ve understood that letting you anywhere near Dean—let enough so close that you’d be allowed to fall in love with him—would have always resulted in you using his secrets against him to make Dean happy, so you could slip in the fact that you were pregnant with Dean’s baby as easily as possible. 

Like any sane person would.

Although you have been up for hours, after only sleeping two. And you might be losing your mind. But anyone would lose their mind in a situation like this. Waiting for their dumb boyfriend to wake up so they can change his life forever. 

But Dean’s still asleep. You’re starting to get worried. He usually sleeps in late, especially after hunts, but not this late. Not past noon, long enough for you to stress eat half of his pie, then make a whole second one. Not long enough for the coffee to go cold three times.

You’re about to go check on him when he appears in the kitchen door. Bleary eyes and mussed hair, his glazed eyes focusing slightly when they land on you.

He starts to shuffle towards you, and you forget everything you’d rehearsed. He looks sleepy and adorable, and you’ve seen him like this before but you’d like to see it a million times more. You’d like Dean to always drop his head on your shoulder and wrap his arms around your torso, to always slump over you with a low hum. To always kiss the crook of your neck and let out a long breath when your hands snake around his neck and your fingers tangle in his soft hair.

You could have him like this forever. 

You just have to tell him. 

“Dean-“

“Why’re you up.” He speaks against your skin, his voice slurring slightly, tugging you a little closer. “’S early.”

“It’s 3pm, baby.” You draw back to smile at him, and he just blinks at you. “You’ve been knocked out for fourteen hours.”

He shakes his head, pouting slightly as he takes your hand in his. “Nah. Doesn’t feel it. C’mon.”

Dean starts to walk away, taking you with him, and you’re snapped out of the daze.

“Wait,” You pull on his grip, and he turns with a frown. “Where are you going?”

“We’re goin’ back to bed.”

You give him an amused look, your affection briefly overpowering your panic. “We?”

He nods, tugging your hand in his until you’re pressed right against his chest. “Only up ‘cause you weren’t there. Need to get my girl back to bed, you need sleep too-“

You do need sleep, but until you tell Dean, you might as well be injecting caffeine right into your bloodstream.

“But I made you bacon-“

“Course you did.” He grins, pressing a light kiss to your nose. “You’re awesome, baby.” 

You feel your stomach flutter, and at this stage it has to only be nerves, but that doesn’t make anything easier. “Can we please eat?”

Dean hums, scanning carefully over your face. “You eat already?”

“I had some applesauce-“

“Then we’re good.” He starts to move again, and now you’re attached to him like a magnet. You couldn’t move away if you tried. “Bed.”

You’re frayed and wired and on edge, trying so hard to find the will to insist he stay and eat, but Dean’s so warm and suddenly you’re drunk on him. He’s sturdy and soft in all the right places, herding you back to bed with hands on your shoulders and mumbled praise about being his dream girl, making him bacon for breakfast and lovin’ him more than he deserves, and you wish you had enough backbone to just shout at him that he does deserve your love. He deserves whatever you can give him, including a baby that he needs to know about now before you explode.

But he gets you back into bed, splaying his body over yours and pinning you down.

“Didn’t see Sammy,” his head is buried in your chest, his voice muffled against your skin. “Where’dhe go?”

“Eileen’s.” You sigh, running your fingers through his hair. “I’m not supposed to tell you that, though.”

Dean chuckles, his hands drawing slow circles on your hips. “You’re a little backstabber, sweetheart. I’m never tellin’ you anything again.”

“I’m backstabbing Sam for you.” You shrug, smiling at the air. “I’d never backstab you.”

“’S exactly what a backstabber would say.”

You giggle. “You’re tired, Dean. Your brain’s not working right. Maybe if we get up-“

“Not getting up.” He grunts, squeezing your body. “Not until you get your own fourteen hours.”

“I’m okay, Dean-“

“No. Sleep.”

You sigh, squirming slightly under him. “You know, it’s bad for you to sleep in. It’ll mess up your circadian rhythm-“ 

Dean tilts his head up, frowning at you. “What’s going on with you?”

“I, um-“ You swallow, your whole body suddenly far too warm. “Huh?”

“You always make me sleep extra after hunts.” His voice is a little stronger, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Why’re you suddenly trying to get me up?”

“Nothing’s going on-“

“No.” Dean’s sitting up now, rolling onto his back and pulling you over his lap, his gaze stern. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“There’s nothing wrong either-“

He says your name, squeezing your waist as he rubs his jaw. “Please just tell me. If it’s a body we can hide it, but I need to know if it’s a monster body or person body-“

“Why the hell would it be a person body-“

“I dunno, but if it is you gotta tell me, so I can grab the salt.” He cups your cheek, offering you on his charming, downright boyish grins. “I’m not letting any ghosts haunt your hot ass, babygirl.”

“Thank you.” You mumble, dropping your brow to his. “But it’s not a body.”

“So there is something.”

“Yeah.” You whisper. “But I… I’m not-“

“Hey,” Dean leans back, holding your gaze as he tucks some hair behind your ear. “Whatever it is, I don’t care. I’m helping you.”

You swallow, squeezing your eyes shut. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs, like it’s simple. Like this will really be that easy. “For you? Always.”

It takes deep breathes, and hands curled in Dean’s t-shirt—gripping him hard, making sure he won’t fly away or vanish into the air when you speak—but you do it. You run over your entire rehearsal one last time and let it all go, because Dean’s right here, in front of you, and you just need to-

“I’m pregnant.”

You say it, and he doesn’t vanish into nothing. Dean just stares at you, eyes wider than you’ve ever seen them, and whispers, “With a baby?”

“Yeah, Dean.” You offer him a small smile. “A baby.”

“My- my baby?” 

You open your mouth with a slight frown, and Dean’s hand flies to cover your mouth before you can speak.

“Wait, shit, I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just-“ He groans, his eyes seeming to drive right into your soul as his voice because hoarse. “You’re sure? That you’re… growing one?”

You wish you could read him better right now. You’d laugh at him saying growing one.

Instead you just nod, and it’s like something flips in Dean. He grins—wide and toothy and unrestrained—and you barely have time for the relief to hit when he’s kissing you. Long and deep and passionate, until you’re dizzy and grinding down onto him, falling over his chest and clinging to his shoulders.

“Dean,” you gasp as he dives down to kiss a line over your collarbone. “Shouldn’t we, shit-“ He starts suck on a soft spot behind your ear, and all your exhaustion is starting to catch back up with you, so everything is really just a haze. “Don’t we need to talk-“

“No,” he mutters, rutting slightly up into you and chuckling against your skin when you whine. “Just need you, baby, need to- son of a bitch!”

Dean’s yanks himself up and twists to his bedside table—his hand on your hips holding you steadily against him—scrambling around the drawers as he mutters low words you can’t hear.

“Are you okay?” You ask, your hand fisting in his shirt once more. “I mean, I know you might have doubts about-“

You’re cut off as Dean surges back up to kiss you again, this one shorter and soft, but still firm. 

“No doubts, sweetheart.” He mutters against your lips. “And I’m better than okay. I’m fucking amazing.”

“Good.” You sigh, pulling back to scan over his face. “What was that, then?”

Dean smiles at you, and it’s… nervous. He’s almost never really, truly nervous, but this smile has no edge, no carefully designed charm. It’s just Dean, purely him, smiling at you like you’re holding his heart in your body.

You kind of are.

“I know I, uh, I don’t say it enough. You know I’m not good at saying it. But I do love you,” Dean says your name, and you blink at him. This sounds like a speech. “I love you so much it drives me insane. And I’d never want this, want a baby, with anyone but you. But, I, uh, I want all of this. Whole stupid, apple pie thing, just with you.” He takes a long breath, his eyes never leaving yours. “Marry me.”

You gape at him. “What?”

“Marry- shit, wait-“ Dean reaches slightly behind him, grabbing a small box, and pops it open with his thumb. There’s a diamond ring inside, and it looks like a real one. Not the ones you’d use on cases, that would give you a rash for a week after. This looks… carefully made.

Made for you.

“Dean-“

“Marry me?” Dean looks between your slack jaw and the box, his voice almost nervous. “Please?”

“I-“ This is going better than you could’ve ever even imagined. You’re not sure how to handle it. “I don’t want you to marry me just because you knocked me up-“

“Baby, I didn’t pull this ring out of my ass.” He drawls, his voice a little firmer. “I’ve been getting ready to ask you for months. I was going to kick Sammy out next week, make a picnic in the library-“

“Really?”

“Yeah, I-“ He frowns. “Why’d you think I was poking about your ring size?”

“I don’t, um, I don’t remember you doing that.”

Dean laughs, shaking his head slightly. “That’s good. I was worried I ruined it. I, um-“ he glances down at the ring, his face falling back to the nerves, and you realize you haven’t actually answered him yet. “I haven’t-“

It’s your turn to kiss Dean, and these words aren’t difficult to say at all. “Yes,” you whisper, pressing another, smaller kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I’ll marry you.”

“Awesome.” He grins, and the ring is barely on your finger when he’s diving back into you, kissing you until you can’t ever remember anything has been difficult in your life. 

You yawn right as Dean pulls away, and he chuckles. 

“You alright, sweetheart?”

You hum, nodding. “I’m good. So good. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Dean says your name in your ear, and it’s quiet and gentle. Not like a secret, but a promise. “How’s a day in bed sound? We can try and get you pregnant again.”

“That’s not how it works, babe.” You giggle, folding a little deeper into his hold. “I’m gonna have to buy you some books.”

“I’ll read them.” Dean kisses the top of your head, and you can feel his smile on your skin. “For you.”

“Thank you.”

“Course.” He sighs, squeezing your body slightly. “We’re having a fucking baby.”

“Yeah.” You smile, and there’s that piece of him, shining on the surface. All joy and wonder for something that’s really just good. “We are.”

End Note: Dean Winchester in my head this is indeed the life you live every day. Season 15 isn't real it can't hurt me.

Title from Waste by Foster the People

If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3

Taglist

@artemys-ackles @ambiguous-avery @nightxcreature @sthefferrete @lyarr24

@deansbbyx @bakugotypecrashout @foolinthera1n @globetrotter28 @lordofthunderthr

@youdontknowe @nyrtopia @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing @panicking-outside-the-disco @elle14-blog1

@impala67rollingthroughtown @dumb--blonde @itsdearapril @apobangpo-0613 @alwaystiredandconfused

@arcticwisteria @generalmoonpolice @foxyjwls007 @jackles010378 @godhelpthisbtch

@ilovedeanwinchester4 @sleepykittycx @immastealurkneecaps @star-yawnznn @maddie0101

@chi-raz @lori19 @wynnthewynnderful

[sorryimananti-romantic]

to a dying? atinyblr

i don't usually speak about these things, but a lot of blogs (amazing writers) are leaving this platform or taking time off bc of lack of engagement which serves as a big demotivating factor. especially and specifically in this atiny fandom, some things have come to my attention and i just want all readers and writers to take a look at this post and refresh some reading and writing etiquettes, as well as revive the essence of being a part of this fandom.

feedback:

i understand that there are a lot of silent readers on here, but since tumblr is dying and our fandom is not very huge, the least you can do to show the writers some support is like the post. 

which brings me to the point that the like function didn't even exist in the past. this site still runs on reblogs. as readers, to show your favourite writers some semblance of support, you should be reblogging with tags. a simple ‘#ateez x reader’ or ‘#ateez fics’ is enough. it's literally not asking for much– reblogs are the only way writers can get reach.

if you cannot do that bc of your blog's aesthetic or whatever, side blogs exist. if you still cannot do that, a simple anon ask appreciating the writer sometimes saves them.

also, what has happened to the quality of reblogs? readers consume years of writers’ work and efforts in mere hours and don’t even leave any feedback? art in general in all forms is very underappreciated and with all sorts of problems like plagiarism, ai writing and everything, true art and writing is dying and needs to be appreciated now more than ever. we’re literally the last generation witnessing ai take over in all fields of arts. appreciate content creators before it’s too late, don’t be a content glutton!

updates and requests:

asking writers for updates when they specifically mention that they would prefer posting at their pace is wrong for so many reasons– we all have a real life. you, the reader, do too. just like you don't always have time to read, writers don't always have time to write. do you ever see the writers asking their readers 'why have you not read my latest chapter?' 

most of the times, writers mention in their bio/faq post or elsewhere that they do mind being asked about updates. respect your writers, please, and do a little scroll before you send such demanding asks (also, sugarcoating when asking for updates does not make it any better!)

if you are only asking about updates, it demotivates a lot of writers bc these same people will disappear when it is time for feedback. writing is a form of art. we can write, artists can paint, musicians can compose music, but all of it has no meaning unless it is shared with an audience and appreciated. readers are just as important as the writers but there is no way of knowing fics are valued unless feedback is given.

the same goes for requests. you can only send a request when the requests are open, which is usually mentioned in the writer’s bio/faq post. it’s literally not that hard to check if requests are open and it’s basic decency to not send a request when the writers specifically mention that requests are closed. when sending a request, please be courteous. a ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ are examples of being courteous when sending requests.

the fanfics in atinyblr:

i understand that you can read whatever you like, but why is it that in the atiny fandom, fics that do not contain smut hardly ever get attention? as a writer, i enjoy writing and reading smut, and while i am not specifically a smut blog, i have noticed how fics containing smut get far more reach than fics that do not contain smut– not just in my case, but other amazing writers as well. 

there are such amazing fictions in this fandom. all fics are crafted with dedication and care, yet stories without smut often get sidelined. writers are not able to express themselves in their writing freely anymore and they simply conform to a genre they know readers will consume, as they are forced to consider adding smut to their stories so they can get more reach in this fandom. i have heard accounts from a lot of writers who were inclined to add smut to an otherwise smut-free fic just for reach.

this is by no means hate to the smut writers. i am also not placing blame on them. smut drabbles have always been in this fandom, and there are amazing smut writers out there, doing their thing. it is the readers here who are failing the writers. readers are quick to talk about the lack of ‘good fics’ or ‘plot’ yet will not even bother searching for these works. there used to be a good balance and appreciation for all genres alike.

i know that smut is what's hot and trendy these days, and drabbles in general, no matter the genre, are easier to read when you want to take a short break. but there is such a lack of longfics in this fandom, especially as of lately, and as someone who has personally witnessed the ratio of longfics decrease exponentially, i felt the need to point this out. appreciate all writers! appreciate all genres! longfic writers need as much validation and encouragement as drabble writers, and vice versa! don't be too harsh on longfic writers for not pumping out fics at the same speed as shortfic writers.

and on that note, smut drabble writers experience a lack of quality feedback despite the high engagement, so readers, please don't hesitate to point out exactly what you liked about a fic, even if it's a short drabble! be kind to those writers, give them time to write and be kind when sending requests! they may post more often but they, too, have a life.

tags:

this is specifically for the people who will post a very normal picture of a member, no caption, but tag it something like #ateez smut, #ateez hard hours, #ateez x reader. and for the people who tag their asks with irrelevant tags– literally learn to tag your post properly, and stop crowding the wrong tags. you're just proving the point that if you don't tag a post with the smut tag or something similar, it won't get reach. if you've posted with a caption, that makes sense (though it still doesn't warrant some of the tags being used there).

as for writers, also learn to use your tags appropriately. fics that do not contain smut should not be tagged with smut related tags. believe in yourself. i get that there is the problem of reach but do not overcrowd tags with irrelevant material.

disclaimer:

this is by no means about me. if i cared about the notes, or lack thereof, i would have stopped writing a while ago. while it is challenging to be a writer here, especially as of lately, i still enjoy posting whatever i write no matter the genre or the word count. but it's a bit disappointing that my planned out fics get much less attention than a simple smut headcanons post that i wrote in the heat of the moment with my friend in literally a few hours as a joke (which has reached almost 10k notes btw in a span of 2 years). sure, it has exposed my blog to new readers but that's about it.

this post is for all the amazing writers who have left, are thinking of leaving, or are struggling to voice these problems because they are afraid of being marked as 'problematic' or a 'hater' or something worse. i am not afraid to voice my opinion on here, and if you think that i am wrong, feel free to interact with this post and correct me because i am not claiming that i am right about this.

these are just the observations i have made as someone who has been actively writing on this platform for about 4 years now, and since i have a decent number of followers, i hope this post gets more reach. do not be afraid to reblog this if you agree, and even if you do not, reblog this so someone else gets educated. i may have missed some points so feel free to add if you want too.

[phopollo]

what are the backstories for the fuel trucks like in the cartooniverse? (im especially curious about hydras)

Oh i looooove talking about everyone backstories-- sorry this took so long to reapond to, I wanted to find a post for context, but I can't find it, so!

Context 1 (pardon old art and designs);

Context 2;

While most of the main cast were extremely young, there was something akin to a recession, as well as a HUUUUGE shift in power and whatnot, and not every station recovered from it

So!! With that-- backstories!

(Bit of a long one, sorry akdbsj)

Porter

Porter was factory built (the only one of our main freight gang who was) and sent to work at Station 24 (where our story is set) immediately, under the impression he would be the only fuel truck there. Upon arrival, he was surprised to find Lumber there, just not working on account of being too young and small, along with Rusty and Dinah. (Not like, super young though, Dinah was applying for clearance to race at the time & all 3 of them were cleared to start working within 2 years) All of whom IMMEDIATELY decided that this is their big brother now, he didnt have a choice in the matter. But, Momma saw the way he responded to and interacted with the kids, and thought he was really immature, so she made him wait a few months to start working. In that time, he ended up maturing quite a bit just trying to keep the others out of trouble, allowing him to finally begin working

Hydra

Hydra was built and raised by an electric engine who, like Hydra, is extremely concerned about the environment. But with hydrogen being such a new fuel source and being so unstable, he spent a lot of his childhood in and out of the repair shed-- more time in when he was younger. When he was about 15 or so, his dad & him went for a long term visit to station 24 on account of having better repair trucks with better information on hydrogen as a fuel source, where they then proceeded to find a new main repair truck for Hysda. Eventually, it just seemed more reasonable for Hydra to stay at Station 24 closer to hus doctor rather than having to travel back and forth. He was only cleared to start consistently working about 2 years before the start of the story. Even though he's in much more stable condition now, it still seems most reasonable to keep him near his doctor. Bonus Babydra & hydrogen father doodles I've made in the past;

Lumber

All things considered, Lumber had a relatively normal childhood. He was fortunate enough that he didn't really know there were problems with his station in the aftermath of the pretty much recession until shortly before he started hearing whispers that his starion was being shut down, which happened when he was roughly 12-13. When it happened, Lumber's family were all sent to different stations, landing Lumber at Station 24, where Momma took him in and where he's been since. (He keeps in contact with his family though, dw)

Slick

Slick was built into a family of livestock trucks who didn't work on the rails, but helped provide more agricultural goods to train society. Initially, Slick was not built to carry oil, she was built with the intention to be a milk tanker and work more directly with her family and continue in the business. But to make a long story short, there had been several incidents involving factories mass producing oil tankers made with extremely poor quality parts, causing a lot of breakdowns and scrappings, causing oil tankers to eaen a bad rep, and making more reputable factories not want the association. As a result, there was a bit of a (good quality) oil tanker shortage, leading to something almost akin to a draft going out to draft tankers who hadn't started working yet to become oil tankers-- and this included Slick, who at the time her family received it, technically wasn't even finished being built. Due to the shortage, Slick began working on the rails extremely early-- 2 years earlier than usual youngest rolling stock can start working early. When more and more stations started feeling the delayed affects of the recession and shutting down, the little business Slick's family ran did too, as many of the stations they received business from shut down. So similarly to Lumber, Slick ended up getting transferred to station 24 at 14-15, while the rest of her family got split up to find work at other stations. (She has no idea where they ended up and has no kept in contact.) Shes been here since. Bonus again, but this time the doodles of Slick's family, who are absolutely meant to feel reminiscent of the other freight + Rusty;

HOO

Sorry if that all got a little disjointed, the adhd was acting up BAD trying to write this all

[multiplefandomsyep]

I love the yin and yang dynamics between characters and In-ho and Gi-hun are one of them.

Both of them joined the games because of the desperate situation they were in.

Both of them got back to their houses with all the money just to see that it was already too late to save their loved ones.

Both of them went with that pain and felt that the money wasn't needed anymore, it was just an empty thing because their loved ones were already gone

But here is the difference: they reacted the opposite way to lead with the pain.

While Gi-hun still had hope in people and blamed himself for everyone's death, In-ho just saw them as selfish cruel beings.

Gi-hun didn't kill anyone in the games, he was showing a good heart even at the final, when he wanted to give it up just to save Sang-woo. In-ho possibly did kill people while he was on the games to gain the money, we see he does something similar when he was on the Mingle game. (I guess, when In-ho was only a player, he was more like Sang woo, doing that for the sake to survive)

I think one of the reasons In-ho is so involved with Gi-hun is because he wants to know "why?" That simple but big word, "why didn't he end up like me? Why does he still see good in people when even him is looking on how they still vote to stay and continue the games? He did lost his loved ones, and he's still here, why?"

They are two sides of the same coin, therefore, as yin and yang does, they complement each other. Both of them having a little part from the other (In-ho having some humanity on him, seeing himself in Gi-hun and Gi-hun having this resenment towards the people that did the games "small sacrifice for the greater good"). And it's just, ugh, they are so complex.

[sturniololuv08]

Pornstar (Matt) [Smut]

Song: Pornstar - Nessa Barrett

Tumblr: @marialovessturniolo

"Take four!" Matt yelled, frustrated. You were trying your best. The large cock thrust in your mouth over and over, gagging you. Your eyes started watering.

"Stop." You called out. Your costar listened to your boundary and removed his medically induced erection from your mouth.

"Star, what's the problem?" Matt set down his clipboard. He showed genuine concern.

"I don't know. I just -" You weren't entirely sure what was wrong. You couldn't do your job today. Stress, maybe? Pretending to love dick in your mouth was so easy for you, but for some reason, the one you were scheduled with today wasn't working for your small throat.

"Take a break. Everyone." Matt looked around to see everyone dispersing from the fake scene. The set was beautiful. The couch was purple and lacey. The backdrop was blood red, making your red lipstick, now a little smeared, pop on camera. Matt came over and bent down in front of you. "Here." He handed you a baby wipe so you could take off your lipstick. "We can wrap up if you want to be done?" His eyes were soft. He always cared for the female models, but there was something different about how he spoke to you. Sometimes, he even gave you soft touches that didn't go unnoticed.

"I don't know what's wrong with me today." You tried to chuckle, but it failed.

"We'll come back tomorrow." He rubbed your knee softly. You nodded, trusting his instincts. He stood up and turned away from you. "That's a day. We'll pick up tomorrow." He instructed. You have been working with Bang Bros Studios for a few months now. You were nervous about venturing into the adult film industry, but your first few times on set were watching seasoned actors and actresses. You quickly saw the company you were vetted to work with and felt better about your decision. But it wasn't until you saw how Matt treated each woman that you signed your contract. The way he covered each girl with their robe or got hands-on and corrected their makeup himself, he always listened attentively if anyone was uncomfortable with performing a certain scene or task. He was the reason you wanted to work here. Just as you were watching him closely, he was returning the attention.

Matt had seen thousands of naked bodies. All shapes and sizes, but yours piqued his interest. You weren't supermodel skinny, but you weren't big enough to be filmed for the BBW content he produced. He knew you were new to the industry immediately. He could tell your pleasure wasn't always faked. Sometimes, as he watched you getting fucked from behind, he could see the true gratification on your face. That wasn't even the most challenging part for him. The hardest part was having to listen to your beautiful moans drip from your lips. He could tell the difference between a real and a forced moan. Your genuine whimpers made him jealous he wasn't the one behind you.

Matt grabbed your robe and held it up so you could slide your arms in. Everyone started packing up random equipment. You felt so guilty you couldn't do your job. Even though no one showed disapproval towards you, you still felt like you let everyone down.

"Don't worry about it. This industry is all about boundaries." Your costar stood in front of you, covered in his velvety robe, his erection tenting the fabric at his hips.

"I know; I just hate setting us back because I can't suck a dick." He laughed.

"Sometimes it's hard to fake pleasure. If you aren't feeling it, you aren't feeling it." He started rubbing your back for extra comfort.

"Thank you." You smiled at him. You look over to see Matt closely watching the interaction. He was talking to a small group of people. The only thing you could think of was you wouldn't have to fake pleasure with him. Slowly but surely, everyone started clearing out of the warehouse. You sat on the couch and looked at the bright lights beaming from the rafters. You sighed heavily.

"It gets easier." You looked past the lights to see Matt, your director and co-producer. He emerged from the shadows to be standing in front of you.

"I hate letting everyone down." You also hated sounding so mopey and complaining to your boss.

"Star. It's okay." He looked down at you. You looked up at him and smiled, knowing he wasn't lying to you. Even though you had only been here for a little while, you could tell everything Matt said was genuine.

"Could you -" You stopped yourself from finishing. You knew your thought was wrong even to think.

"Could I what?" He asked for you to finish.

"Never mind." You pushed the thought back down.

"Come on. Just ask." He pressed. His sly smirk made you think he knew what you wanted to ask.

"How did you become a porn director?" You changed up your question.

"I just knew some people in the industry, and when they needed someone to help out, I was there. Been doing it ever since." He didn't seem ashamed of his profession.

"Have you... ever...?" You paused in between your words, trying to make sure he got the picture without you having to finish.

"I have a couple of times. Wasn't my calling." He chuckled.

"Could you teach me some tricks?" You asked. You wanted help to improve, but you also secretly just wanted an excuse to see what Matt could do to you.

"Of course." He was either really into it or really dumb. He took his jacket off and tossed it aside. He held out his hand for your robe, which you discarded. Naked once again, you laid back on the couch. "So even though you don't have a connection with your Co you have to act like you do or think of someone you do have a connection with. Falsify that connection." He crawled on top of your naked body. He could feel himself getting more hard behind the zipper of his jeans. You arched your back so your breasts rubbed against his shirt. "Good." He praised. He bit his lip and looked down at you. "Where are your hands?" He asked. You wiggled your fingers, feeling them in the open air. You were hesitant to touch him; he was still your boss.

"Am I allowed to -"

"Would you ask during a scene?" His eyes were a soft blue, but they held a dark lust in them. You ran your fingertips underneath his shirt, feeling his smooth skin. Without asking, his fingers glided between your legs up to your crease. You weren't wet at all from earlier, having not been in the mood, but Matt touching you was different. You felt the difference with each little tickle he created. Without thinking, you bent your knee, giving him more room. "Good girl." He cooed. He used the new room to keep moving his fingers closer to your naked body. You shivered, feeling goosebumps rise.

"M..matt." You breathed heavily.

"Yes?" He whispered steadily. You remembered he said not to ask, so you went for it instead of vocalizing your wants. You grabbed his neck and pulled him down to kiss you. It was sweet and short. He pulled away, and you instantly felt regret in the pit of your stomach. He bit his lip as his eyes danced all over your face.

"More." You pleaded. He didn't hesitate. He connected your lips together again, simultaneously poking two fingers into your warm wet thighs. "Oh." You lurched and moaned the word on his lips. He smirked excitedly finally, getting to be the one causing those noises he heard a few times. He pumped his fingers in and out as he kissed you, making sure that the kiss stayed connected as long as possible before breaking it to breathe. As soon as he had a breath of air, he dipped back into it. You instantly felt this was different. This wasn't lights, camera, action. This was slow, sensual, and needy.

"Fuck." He whispered on your lips. He started grinding his hips, trying to please the erection growing in his jeans.

"Show me who you are." You used your hands to start playing with his jeans button. You knew a few tricks yourself, and within seconds, you had them unbuttoned and slid down.

"Nice." He hummed on your neck. You widened your hips, and he filled the new space. You reach down in between his legs and position him right where he needs to be to enter your sweet spot. Without hesitation, he slams into you in full force. You were so wet from just his fingers that he glided into you right away. He was just erect enough to penetrate you but still growing with every stroke. His hips slowly grinded on yours. He was making this fuck passionate. Your hands went up his back to his hair. He groaned at the touch. You lightly tugged at his roots, figuring out that he liked it. Your head rolled back as soon as he reached his peak size.

"Oh my god, Matt." You moaned. He felt pleased with himself. He was the one causing the authentic moans to slip off of your pink-stained lips. He was the one causing you absolute pleasure. He was the one making love to you. He picked up his pace with that last thought. He felt a sudden rush flow through his body, settling to pulse on his tip. You didn't hold your moans back. They were not pornstar moans; they were real moans that had anticipated this moment. He pounded you into the soft purple fabric and bounced back and forth, using the plush cushions as leverage. Your legs wrapped around his waist, sucking him further into you.

"You wanted this?" He asked. You nodded, giving in to your desires. Daydreaming about him finally had its payout.

"Fuck. I'm cuming." You were so focused on how attractive he was your body was working itself up, and you hadn't noticed.

"I'm going to cum in you." He looked directly into your eyes. His voice was soft, but he didn't ask permission. He was telling you. Your back arched off the couch, and he held you with one hand closer to his chest.

"Please cum inside me." You whined. Feeling his cock sliding in and out of you was impressive enough, but now feeling him swelling to stuff you and fill you with his stringy cum was euphoric. Instead of rutting into you fast and hard, he held a steady pace and made sure to push harder into you to reach your cervix. He lightly kissed the back of your insides with ease, causing you to release. Your orgasm noises pushed him entirely over the edge.

"Ugh, fuck." He didn't hold back his gratification. He wrapped his fingers in yours and rode out his high on top of you. He came down to kiss you lightly for a few seconds. Slowing his hips to a stop he kept looking into your eyes.

"Alright, cut!" The lights slowly came back up. "Matt, that was perfect." You turned your head to see someone standing behind the camera.

"What?" You looked back at Matt with confusion evident on your face.

"You just have to learn how to falsify the connection," he said, standing off you and buttoning his jeans up. You stared at him in complete shock, feeling played. He winked and walked over to talk to some people about the film. You covered up, feeling violated. Sitting there thinking about how the perfect moment in your head was ruined. Matt came back over and bent down in front of you. "Just so you know, I didn't fake any of that." He kissed your exposed knee and walked away again. You looked down and smiled to yourself, realizing you had the perfect moment, and it was all on camera so you could watch it back and see it over and over.

Matt Taglist:

@speakn0w13 @itsyabiotch @livvv111 @witchywinchester99

All Taglist:

@wysmols @sturns-mermaid @trevorsgodmother @emely9274 @sophia-77n @courta13

[softness-and-shattering]

I think theres a couple adjacent conversations happening here, at least one about the ADL and one about goyims response to the ADL.

What I want to say is, I understand the idea of appeasement, and its possible thats what the ADL are going for, or perhaps theyre trying to not paint a target on their backs for musk and the president who unfortunately have a lot of power between them (which could be wishful thinking thaflt there isnt already a target there).

Re 'branding musk irredeemable' and his apparent auschwitz tour with ben shapiro, it seems to me that we're past that. He didnt get up and do a big sig heils as "first buddy" (which is a wtf title but the point is he feels incredibly powerful right now), to agree to walk it back. Hes got the power and hes not hiding or pretending, his is loudly declaring allegiance. I think then it stops being the ADLs job to try course correct him, its too late for that, and it is now their job to look at the spade and identify the spade and say "ALERT. THATS A SPADE. ALERT".

By instead calling it 'an awkward gesture' and hoping for UNITY with the guy doing the sig heil, theyre going "lalalala no spade here lalalalala" and as their mission to my understanding is identifying and combating antisemitism, this is a moment of major failure for them. You can work towards unity with all kinds of people with all kinds of differences, but you cant play nice with nazis or fascists, as their targets, and hope they'll change their minds. Maybe sometimes with some people on an individual level but this isnt as individuals this on the international stage. This isnt your brother your aunt your cousin sounding a little faschy and you can help them, this is elon fucking musk as empowered by president trump. Mr blood money billionaire and the president rapist.

It doesnt mean the ADL has never been correct, will never be correct, and are entirely untrustworthy altogether, as AOC seems to be stating, thats also an absurdity. It does mean that for many possible reasons, they have made what looks like a massive misstep. I *hope* they have good reason and I *hope* its part of some larger plan of damage control. I dont know though. Im not sure I believe anyone is playing 4D chess its just comforting to think *someone* has things under control. The ADL mightve just been panicking and I cant entirely fault them for that. We dont always make the best choices when we are afraid.

Guys... the ADL said, and I quote (quoting manually because fuck nazi twitter I'm not embedding it and I can't be arsed to screencap, google for confirmation if you want),

"This is a delicate moment. It’s a new day and yet so many are on edge. Our politics are inflamed, and social media only adds to the anxiety. It seems that

@elonmusk

made an awkward gesture in a moment of enthusiasm, not a Nazi salute, but again, we appreciate that people are on edge. In this moment, all sides should give one another a bit of grace, perhaps even the benefit of the doubt, and take a breath. This is a new beginning. Let’s hope for healing and work toward unity in the months and years ahead."

Bull. Fucking. Shit. That was a nazi salute, done to the crowd and then a second time to the flag. By a guy who's said a lot of antisemitic shit and sympathized with/endorsed nazis up to and including AfD in Germany.

The Usual Suspects are eating this up and talking about how this proves people talking about "antisemitism" are just trying to defend Israeli war crimes and don't care about Diaspora Jews.

You've seen the stuff I reblog; we're in a "broken clock sorta right twice a day" situation. While I disgree with them strongly on a lot of things (far more than I did sixteen months ago), I think they're right about one thing here.

We can't trust the ADL anymore. If they refuse to acknowledge Musk's fucking sieg heil, we cannot rely on them to reliably fight antisemitism anymore.

I understand why they may feel the need to make compromises to have continued access to the halls of power and avoid being institutionally attacked... but while those compromises may protect them it leaves those they exist to protect high and dry.

Stay safe everyone.

[allllium]

Perfect for Me

~ Matt Murdock x insecure!reader

~ omg two posts in two days 😮 this is not edited at all so ignore my mistakes

~ Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, WC: 1,679

- Matt comforts insecure reader -

Dating a blind guy is very different from any other relationship you've had for very obvious reasons. Not only is it an adjustment going out with and even living with someone that can't see, but Matt is different. He has senses that other blind people don't which makes things even harder. You love Matt but that doesn't mean it's not an adjustment.

Obviously he can't see you but he knows everything about you. He knows the basics of how you look but not the details. Sometimes that's hard. Only because you fear he has some other idea of you in his head. Like the real you can't match up to the look of you he has in his head.

It's silly, you know, but it's not like you can just get rid of the thoughts in your head. Matt can tell something's wrong, a bonus of his super senses. So far though, he hasn't asked about it. He's learned over time to give you a little bit of time to process your issue before he tries to get involved.

It's not his fault, simply your insecurities getting the best of you. It'll be fine you tell yourself, wondering around the apartment you now share with Matt. Maybe that's where it's coming from. You guys have always spent a lot of time together but now your space is his, and when you want space to yourself, you don't have a separate apartment to hide in. You certainly don't want that but what if he does?

You turn on some music to fill your rattled brain. Nothing loud but enough to distract your thoughts. You soon turn from wondering to cleaning. It's become a daily habit since Matt rarely has time. You have no problem doing it because you know it makes Matt feel slightly better. Not as much dust and grime for his senses to focus on.

You're very ingrained in your scrubbing of the counter when you hear the door shut.

"Hey, Matty." You call out to greet him, not taking your attention off the counter for a second.

"Hi." His faces lights up as he sees you. "How was your day?" He asks, planting a soft kiss on your temple.

"Not nearly as eventful as yours I imagine." You smile, turning around to meet his beaming face. He has already taken off his suit jacket while walking towards you and has began loosening his tie. Giving him that slightly casual look that you know and love.

"I actually think that's true today, though the most amusing part of it was hearing Foggy fall out of his chair not once but twice within a twenty minute period." You listen intently to his words as you finish wiping off the counter. His words get quieter as he slowly makes his way to the bedroom for more comfortable clothes.

You know Matt feels a great pressure to keep the city safe by going out every night, but your favorite night of the week is the one where you've both agreed he stays in. One of the few requests you had when moving in.

"How the hell did he manage that?" You chortle, imagining it in your head. You can hear Matt's laugh from the other room.

"I have no clue, you'd think he'd learn after the first time." He comes back into the living space wearing black sweatpants and a plain t-shirt. After you got together, you had to take Matt shopping for new, plain, clothes considering most of the ones he owned had something stupid and possibly embarrassing on them due to Foggy, bright colors and big slogans. "I heard him whine about it for the rest of the day."

"At least your days aren't boring like the other lawyers."

"That's definitely a plus of partnering with him."

This is the best part of your day. Talking to him about your days and gossiping about the people you know, plus all the people Matt hears about during the day. The only problem seems to be the words that won't leave your head.

"How do you feel about spaghetti for dinner?" You ask him as he grabs a water out of the fridge. Usually, he'd grab a beer but out of fear for his liver you haven't bought any in a week.

"Sounds perfect. How can I help?"

"I can do it, you worked all day."

"Worked is a loose term." He laughs to himself. You and he both know a lot of their work consists of finding new cases.

"You can boil the pasta if you want to be helpful."

"Oh that's easy. It's almost as if you don't believe in my culinary skills."

You turn and give him a stare that makes him smirk. "Matthew, I know what you lived on before I moved in."

"Okay water it is." He gives you get another kiss before searching for a suitable pot.

You hum along to the soft background music as you and Matt work on your tasks. Once he's done with his, he stands right beside you in silence.

"So." He starts.

"So?" You repeat.

"I didn't want to bring this up but I think it's important-"

"That sounds scary."

"For me, yes. I talked to Karen today."

Oh fuck. To say Karen knows your deepest darkest secrets would be an understatement. For Matt to start a conversation like this about her, she told him something. Something you're know wracking your brain to figure out.

It's not that you think Karen would sell you out. But Matt is very charming and sometimes you find yourself telling him things without even realizing.

"I would hope so." You try to play it off like you're not immensely worried about his coming words. "She is your secretary."

"I don't think she'd appreciate that title." He laughs nervously. You know he's nervous because his glasses are still on. He's trying to make sure you can't read him at the moment.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want it to seem like I was invading your privacy."

"Matt, you always do that. You hear literally everything I do."

"Yes but this feels different."

"You wouldn't have started this conversation if you didn't have something to say so please get on with it."

"I heard you talking to Karen the other day when she was over. And I tried not to read too much into it but then I talked to her today and I'm officially reading into it."

"Karen and I have talked about a lot of things, that doesn't really help me understand."

You try to seem nonchalant by stirring the pasta sauce.

"I heard you telling her how you don't think you live up the version of you I have in my head." He whispers the words as if that'll make it easier. Of course. Out of everything he could've heard, it was the one thing you really, really don't want to talk about. You know Matt isn't going to let this go until you answer all his questions.

"That was over a week ago." You whisper over the sauce.

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. But I only heard a part of what you said and I couldn't handle not knowing the rest."

A heavy sigh escapes you. It's not his fault. You are still adjusting to how much he can hear from so far so you didn't even think about that when he came home that day. You also can't fault him for wanting to know more, if the roles were reversed you would've gone to Foggy to know more almost immediately.

"You obviously weren't supposed to hear that." You turn off the stove top and look at him. "I don't suppose we can keep acting like you know nothing about that?" Your words come out with a hopeful tone.

"No we can't. Sweetheart, how can you feel like that? Have I made you doubt yourself like this?" He pulls you away from the kitchen and pushes you to sit next to him on the couch.

"You have done nothing Matt. You're perfect. I just can't get it out of my mind that every time you're complimenting me, it's not actually me. It's the more beautiful version of me you have in your head." He already knows enough, might as well tell him the rest.

"I know what you look like. Maybe I can't see every detail but I know enough to know every compliment I've ever given you, has been for you. I can't see everything on your face but I can sort of see the shape of you."

You're just now realizing you've never actually asked Matt what he can see. Knowing he was blind you always figured he couldn't see anything.

"What do you see?" You ask now.

"It's difficult to explain. I see certain figures but not all the time. It's kinda like flames that prevent me from seeing things but they don't always stay in the same spot."

"So how are you so confident I'm the same that you think I am?" He moves closer to hold your hand and lean more against you.

"Because I've had everyone describe you. Foggy, Karen, even Frank at one point. And I've felt your face a lot, enough to understand the shape of everything. Your eyes, lips, nose. Everything that makes you, you."

"Feeling is different than seeing."

"For other people yes. For me, this is the only way I know a lot of things. It's the way I've learned to know things so I'm better at it. I don't need to see every detail when everything I've felt is beyond perfect."

You feel tears appear in your waterline. Leave it to Matt to know the perfect thing to say. Always.

"When I say you're perfect for me, I mean it. More than anything."

He wipes the tears off your face the second they begin to fall.

"You're perfect for me too, Matty."

"Good." He states. "You're gonna be with for the rest of forever."

"That's a nice plan."

[mamawasatesttube]

Do you think Tim ever had one of those moments where once he realised he was bi, he reflected on how he felt about Kon, and realised it was a crush? In retrospect?

HMMM. ive been sitting on this and pondering. and ... kinda?

but the thing to me about tim, his feelings for kon, and his bisexual realizations, is that they are all tied up in one big tangled knot. he's been in love with kon for years without realizing it; he had a crush on kon in his yj days (guy who is constantly going "what is kon's opinion of me. i need kon to respect me and likeys me and think i'm a good leader. for normal reasons" ok tim), but even after he eventually figures out he's bi, he doesn't realize that that's what he felt for kon, because that crush has developed over the years into full-blown adoration, and he... uh... didn't notice.

like, by the time kon dies and tim goes off the deep end and tries to clone him 99 times, tim is head over heels. it's just that tim has not noticed that he's in love with kon at all. to him, it's just - this is normal, right? he has a huge depth of feelings for his best friend, and that's how he's always felt about kon. when he thought he was going to die on apokolips, he just wished he could have reconciled with kon. that's normal for him. that's baseline. right? this is a normal way for a guy to feel about his best friend. and yeah, tim is bisexual, but after ives he just kind of doesn't really seriously date any other guys, because, like... he could, and maybe he goes on a single date here or there, but there's always this little thought in the back of his head that, like, none of the other guys he meets are as hot and funny and smart and kind as kon. man, guess having a best friend who's a 12/10 really just sets his standards high, huh?

like i just think tim's feelings for kon are such a huge part of his life for so long that the actual nature of them and the depth of them kinda just creeps up on him. it happens so gradually and is such a deep and abiding love by the time they're adults that he doesn't notice for a long time. because he's always adored kon, and by the time kon died and came back, tim already knew he loved him so so so much that living in a world without him felt unbearable. the fact that that love turned romantic somewhere along the line? he has no idea!!! he doesn't even know he's bisexual when that happens, so he's just so used to that being "how he feels about kon, his boy best friend" that he takes forever to realize he is, in fact, in love with him.

but yeah eventually he does put together that, ah, he has been into kon for an embarrassingly long time. without noticing. oop! he's going to go sit on a rooftop and brood and wonder if anyone else noticed before he did (most people who know him did).

[velvet4510]

A Very-Long Untangling Analysis of the Fox X-Men Continuity

Here’s my attempt at making sense of it all. All of my thoughts and ideas about continuity discrepancies and time travel piled up in one big info dump.

Please bear in mind that this interpretation is heavily biased in favor of the Days of Future Past Rogue Cut and against Apocalypse and Dark Phoenix, which hopefully won’t cause too much upset.

It also mentions Cherik as if it’s official canon because duh.

It also will cite links to various other posts I’ve made in the past which support my claims.

It also is gonna get long. Very long. Very very very very long. So proceed at your own risk.

So here’s my thesis:

The series depicts 8 separate timelines within 3 different universes.

UNIVERSE 1

Timeline 1: First Class (Charles & Erik are lovers in 1962; Moira recalls some events) ➡️ Origins: Wolverine ➡️ X-Men ➡️ X2 ➡️ The Last Stand ➡️ The Wolverine ➡️ Days of Future Past Rogue Cut dark future

Timeline 2 (divergence of Timeline 1): First Class (Charles & Erik are lovers in 1962; Moira recalls some events) ➡️ Days of Future Past Rogue Cut 1973 events ➡️ Erik remains true to himself in the aftermath ➡️ Days of Future Past new 2023 with history-teacher Logan

UNIVERSE 2

Timeline 3: Events similar to the OG trilogy ➡️ Deadpool ➡️ Deadpool 2 Original Events (Russell becomes a killer) ➡️ Logan ➡️ The New Mutants ➡️ Cable’s family dies ➡️ Laura gets pruned

Timeline 4 (divergence of Timeline 3): Deadpool ➡️ Deadpool 2 main events (Cable time-travels, Vanessa dies, Wade stops Russell and dies)

Timeline 5 (divergence of Timeline 4): Deadpool ➡️ Deadpool 2 climactic time-travel (Cable saves Wade)

Timeline 6 (divergence of Timeline 3): Deadpool ➡️ Deadpool 2 post-credits scene (Wade saves Vanessa) ➡️ Deadpool & Wolverine

UNIVERSE 3

Timeline 7: First Class (Charles & Erik remain just friends; Moira recalls nothing) ➡️ Events similar to OG trilogy ➡️ DOFP Theatrical Cut dark future

Timeline 8 (divergence of Timeline 7): First Class (Charles & Erik remain just friends; Moira recalls nothing) ➡️ DOFP Theatrical Cut 1973 events ➡️ Erik betrays his values and settles down with Magda ➡️ Apocalypse (part or all dream) ➡️ Dark Phoenix (dream)

Now I will elaborate.

TIMELINES VS UNIVERSES

First off, “timelines” and “universes” are confusing terms in Marvel. Some say they’re the same thing, others say they’re separate things. But I believe the ultimate answer to this question can be found in What If…? Season 1 Episode 4, in which the Ancient One creates a split that forms two timelines (and thus two variants of Dr. Strange) in one universe. Since this is canonically possible, I think it explains many of the X-Men series’ discrepancies.

THEY CANNOT ALL BE IN 1 UNIVERSE

Secondly, I’m sorry to Deadpool & Wolverine, but there is absolutely no way that every film in the Fox series takes place in the same universe. There are way too many inconsistencies for that to be possible. I know such a notion takes away a bit from the impact of Wade and Logan’s efforts to save that universe, and Logan replacing the anchor being, but still. It just doesn’t add up. The film’s events are direct follow-ups to DP 1 and 2, and to Logan. Wade’s universe is dying because of Logan’s death in Logan. OK, so those 4 films happen in the same universe for sure. But none of the other films do.

DIFFERENT TIME TRAVEL RULES

One major reason there are multiple universes at play here is that the series depicts two different kinds of time travel that have two different repercussions:

Kitty Pryde’s consciousness projection, which rewrites history

Cable’s device, which causes timeline branching and universe-hopping (just like MCU quantum time travel)

So Logan’s time travel in DOFP overwrote/erased his original timeline (the events of Origins, the OG trilogy, and The Wolverine) … whereas Cable’s time travel in DP 2 split his universe into multiple timelines. (This is proven by the fact that even though Wade lives in a timeline where Vanessa is alive in DP&W, the universe is still dying because of the events of Logan. So none of Cable’s time traveling in DP 2 overwrote/erased Logan.)

These are two different rules of time travel, which makes it all the more likely that they happen in different universes.

Therefore, any universe in which Logan time-traveled to stop the Sentinels is NOT the same universe as the DP/Logan universe.

OTHER CONTINUITY ISSUES

Wade is in his 30s in Origins, which is set in 1979 … and Wade is in his 30s in the DP films, which is set in the 2010s.

Warren Worthington III is 12 years old in 1996 at the beginning of The Last Stand and a young adult during the main events in the 2000s … and he is a young adult in 1983 in Apocalypse.

Colossus has an American accent in the OG trilogy and a Russian accent in the DP films.

Mutant children are seen thriving in 2023 at the end of DOFP, whereas in the world of Logan, mutants stopped being born in 2004.

Which brings me to one of my most major arguments here:

THE CONSEQUENCES OF LOGAN’S TIME TRAVEL

Logan’s time-travel in DOFP only changed history starting in 1973; everything that came before 1973 stayed exactly the same in that universe. So we cannot possibly say that DOFP caused Wade to be born decades later or Warren to be born decades earlier in its new timeline. That is impossible.

Also, the children at the end of DOFP are irrefutable proof that Logan did not wake up in a world where mutants have been dying out since 2004 and where he and Charles are destined to be killed by X-24. That is impossible.

Therefore, neither Apocalypse nor the DP films nor Logan can possibly take place in Universe 1 (the same universe as the OG trilogy or Origins).

WHAT ABOUT THE DISCREPANCIES IN FIRST CLASS?

DOFP firmly establishes that despite the continuity errors, First Class is absolutely a prequel to the OG trilogy and occurs in the same universe. In this post, I lay out in detail how the few plot holes between these films may be logically explained.

THE X-MEN’S CAMEO IN DEADPOOL 2

All I can say is this is obviously a meta joke created in Wade’s head for the audience. In no possible version of events do the ages of the X-Men in their brief cameo in this movie make any sense.

UNIVERSE 1 vs. UNIVERSE 2

Ok, so now we’ve firmly established that:

Universe 1 consists only of FC, Origins, the OG trilogy, Wolverine, and DOFP. Its history is fully rewritten starting in 1973, so in both versions of history, Wade Wilson is always born in the 1940s and thus in his 30s in 1979 … and Warren Worthington III is always born in the 1980s and thus a child in the 90s and adult in the 2000s. Colossus emigrates from Russia to the U.S. at an early age and grows up with an American accent.

Universe 2 consists only of DP 1, DP 2, Logan, and DP&W. There was no time-travel in this world, and yet no Sentinels were created. Instead, Transigen put mutation-killing poisoning in food, which drove mutants to near-extinction by 2029. This makes 14-year-old Russell in DP 2 one of the last mutants to be born before the poisoning took effect. Cable’s and Wade’s time-traveling created multiple branches, but they all coexist in this universe. Wade Wilson was born in the 1970s, and thus he’s a thirty-something in the 2010s. Colossus grew up in Russia and thus maintained a Russian accent. After escaping the Void, Laura relocated from her original timeline (Timeline 3) to Timeline 6, while staying in the same universe.

THE DIFFERENT CUTS OF DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

But wait, you may say. DOFP and Apocalypse also must exist in the same universe since Apocalypse is a direct sequel to the 1973 events of DOFP. So doesn’t Apocalypse have to happen in Universe 1, as well?

Well, here’s the explanation for that:

Consider the existence of two different cuts of DOFP: the theatrical cut and the Rogue Cut.

Also consider the alternate ending filmed for DOFP, in which Logan is pulled from the river in 1973 by the real Stryker, a perfect lead-in to him being Weapon X in Apocalypse … whereas the actual DOFP ending shows Raven rescuing him that day, which changed his fate and kept him out of Stryker’s hands.

If you go beyond the meta and think about the multiverse, it becomes extremely plausible to assume that there was more than one universe in which Logan time-traveled via Kitty to stop the Sentinels.

In one of these universes (which I’ve labeled Universe 1 out of my preference for the Rogue Cut), within the dark future, Kitty’s wounds forced Erik, Charles, and Bobby to rescue Rogue to replace her, Bobby was killed, the mansion was blown up, Rogue took over Kitty’s job, and Kitty pulled Erik through the wall back into the temple when the Sentinels attacked him. Meanwhile in the past, Raven chose to stop by the mansion, steal a moment with Hank, and break Cerebro on her way to DC. After DC, she went undercover as Stryker, rescued Logan from the river, and most likely sent him to safety at the mansion with Charles and Hank.

In the other universe (which I’ve labeled Universe 3), Kitty kept Logan in the past through to the end, Bobby stayed and died in the temple, and Blink sent Erik back into the temple with a portal. Meanwhile in the past, Raven flew directly from Paris to DC and Charles used Cerebro to deduce her destination. After DC, Raven went her own way, and Stryker himself pulled Logan from the river and turned him into Weapon X.

APOCALYPSE AND DARK PHOENIX AS MERE BAD DREAMS

Now you’ll also notice I wrote the word “dream” next to Apocalypse and Dark Phoenix in my outline of Universe 3. And here’s where the bias comes in. Apocalypse and Dark Phoenix make so little sense that, as I also mentioned in this post, I declare they are no more than bad dreams in Erik’s and Charles’ heads at some point after 1973 in Universe 3.

Dark Phoenix in particular, just unfolds like a dream. None of the characters’ actions make any logical sense based on what we know about them. It all just feels like Charles’ worst nightmare of being suddenly abandoned and betrayed by everyone he loves, via either death or rejection … because IT IS.

Apocalypse is more complicated. It’s not as bad as Dark Phoenix but it’s also pretty darn stupid in many ways.

I laid out in great detail in this post why Erik’s family plotline makes zero sense for his character, Cherik or no Cherik. This is why I wrote that in Universe 1, Erik “remains true to himself in the aftermath of DOFP.” This fic and this fic and this fic (none of which are mine) are examples of in-character behavior for Erik which I imagine resemble his post-DOFP actions in that reality.

I also feel it doesn’t make any sense that Peter isn’t already a student at the school in 1983. There’s literally no reason why Charles wouldn’t have sought him out as his first student when he reopened the school in 1973, after the events of DOFP. It’s totally implausible that it would take 10 years for Peter to get involved with the X-Men again.

The abomination that is the fridging of Magda and Nina speaks for itself.

The abomination that is Peter not telling Erik they’re related at the most opportune moment also speaks for itself.

So this movie might be entirely a dream as well; I’d be fine with that.

APOCALYPSE AS PARTIALLY A DREAM

However, I included Apocalypse in Universe 3 as possibly “part dream” for a few reasons.

Despite the film’s stupidity, I expressed in this post the missed opportunity that is Nina Gurzsky. And in this post and this post, I expressed my fondness for a version of events where Nina survived and grew up thriving at the school with her siblings. Nina’s very existence stems from Erik behaving totally OOC after DOFP … and yet I can’t help but love her as her own character. If the writers were gonna make Erik behave in an OOC way for her to exist, then they should’ve gone all the way in letting her actually be a damn character.

I also expressed in this post how Erik settling down with someone who isn’t Charles makes very little sense if they got together during First Class. It could be somewhat more plausible if this is a version of events where they did NOT get together then.

I also mentioned in this post the inconsistency of Moira’s memories at the end of First Class and in Apocalypse. This could only be fixed by there being two different versions of events: one where Charles only erased some of her memories, and one where he erased all of them.

Which is why I labeled Universe 3 as containing “First Class (Charles & Erik remain just friends; Moira recalls nothing)” and “Erik betrays his values and settles down with Magda.”

It also could be that in Universe 3, the deleted scenes between Charles and Moira in First Class canonically happened, thus explaining his fixation on her in Apocalypse. In 1962, Charles & Erik remained on a river in Egypt, and Charles was with Moira. Thus in the 1970s, Erik finds himself capable of settling down with a random woman (even though my other reasons for this making no sense still stand, but for the sake of allowing for a world where Nina lives, I’ll let it go just for that).

NINA’S “DEATH”

Therefore, it’s somewhat possible that in Universe 3, the first third of Apocalypse is real, leading up to the moment Erik agrees to surrender himself to the Polish police.

From Nina’s death onward, the rest of the film is a nightmare of Erik’s, in which his mind envisions that he lost his beloved daughter that day and then was coerced by En Sabah Nur into becoming a mass murderer and hurting Charles and he never learned the truth about Peter.

If you think about it, Nina’s death scene in the film actually plays out like a nightmare would. Notice how even though she’s crying and screaming for her dad, she doesn’t move. She doesn’t struggle to pull away from her mom and run toward her dad. When her mom kneels in front of her, she doesn’t resist. No 8-year-old kid would be standing totally still in this situation, without flinching. Also Erik doesn’t make any more efforts to comfort her as she’s crying. He just silently stares at her, watching her scream, then silently stares at the attacking birds. Nor does Magda do anything effective; her words translate to “stop, Nina, stop!” No “we’ll be ok,” “he’s not gonna get hurt,” nothing that would actually calm Nina down. Then of course, the arrow hitting TWO people when the dude ISN’T EVEN LOOKING defies all logic and all reality. The whole thing only makes sense as Erik’s nightmare. We’ve all had those bad dreams where we want to move but we can’t, we’re frozen and unable to do what we want to do as something scary is coming at us. That’s exactly how Erik, Magda, and Nina all behave in this scene.

In reality, when Erik gave himself up in Universe 3, basically, the events of this fic unfolded. This isn’t my own fic, all credit belongs to its author WaxRhapsodic, but it is so unbelievably great that I declare it’s what really happened in this world.

To summarize, Nina was injured but not killed by the arrow that killed Magda, then Erik & Nina moved to the mansion, where Nina bonded closely with Charles, Peter, Wanda, and Lorna, and Erik & Charles finally got together.

THE OG TRILOGY AND LOGAN

Lastly, you may notice I also put “events similar to the OG trilogy” in my outline of Universe 2. Why did I do this?

There are many hints in Logan that something similar to the OG trilogy happened in that world.

Charles references the Statue of Liberty incident from X-Men 1, which never happened in a world where Logan time-traveled.

In a deleted scene, Charles claims Logan was married to Jean before he killed her. This could be true or it could be Charles’ confusion in his dementia.

Jean’s absence from the story is glaring: considering her power level, it is quite unlikely that Charles could’ve killed her in the Westchester Incident.

Thus, in this world, the events of the OG trilogy including The Last Stand must have happened. But instead of Sentinels, humans weaponized the anti-mutant food poisoning to wipe out mutants once the cure proved to be a failure. So by the time of the Westchester Incident, Jean was already dead.

This explains Charles’ condition in Logan. His disease is not the result of mere old age. It is a result of 3 things:

The impact of the food poisoning on his mutation as well as his overall health.

His mind struggling to remain in harmony with his twin brother’s body which he inhabited in the post-credits scene of The Last Stand after the Phoenix destroyed his original body. (In Universe 1, the Sentinel apocalypse unfolded before the negative longterm side effects of his consciousness transference could take hold.)

Erik’s absence, which can only be explained by his death prior to the film’s events. In this post and this post, I theorize in more depth that his sudden death was the final straw for Charles’ mental health that triggered the Westchester Incident.

[sol-rambles]

I think Zam is so much more invested in Atlas than Derap is. Mainly as well I know derap has done things for Zam, he has also hidden and lied (or plans to) about most important things he finds.

First example that I can think of is Pangi at Zaun. Derap showed Pangi to Zaun. That is a thing he did, which him and Zam had previously Agreed Not to. Like he fully went against Zam's wishes and took Pangi there. Then they both proceeded to tell Zam that Pangi found it (if I recall correctly..)

Another time, which whilst he hasn't had a chance to tell Zam. The prot4 glitch. He has stated multiple times that he is Not going to. Aswell as telling 4C to not tell Zam. He is making sure Zam one doesn't know about the glitch. If he does, he finds out on his own either indirectly from Derap or 4C, or he finds it by himself and doesn't realise that Derap has been hiding it from him/he finds that part out later.

4C alliance, due to the nature of it. I'm almost certain Derap will not tell Zam about this. It is an alliance formed through the prot4 glitch, therefore it is highly unlikely he'd tell him.

Base I guess? This was explicitly Zam's choice though :3.

Either way I'm certain there's more of these, I'm explicitly not a Derap viewer his chat pisses me off too much to even open stream. So everything is picked up through liveblogs or other streams.

He is building up a list of reasons for Zam to not trust him. Like if you can't be trusted to atleast Tell your teammate, who by the way let you have 10 of his hearts (I know this is a big deal for Derap) atleast that your using it, even if he might not like it. Then what happens if he finds something bigger or more destructive to the server. I for one know what he's not doing. Telling his Teammate.

Also running around collecting teammates, I know that he isn't the only one that is doing this, but this is mainly about Atlas soooo I'm focusing on that here. Like you have a team, it's your fault he's locked away editing. Literally. Stick with your teammate, be loyal to someone. Like I know technically Devotions are on a separate team by themselves but that was a last resort(ish).

The list of people that Derap considers either allies or teammates; Zam, Jaron?????, Wemmbu, Pangi, theres someone else I think too idk man.

Also trying to listen in on Zam and Mapic during their like Very personal conversation.... Holy fucking shit. Like what the fuck man. Leave your Teammate that you've been building a whole area with have a conversation with his guy in peace. Another thing Zam can't trust Derap about, having a conversation without eavesdropping (I know Rek and 4C do this this the whole Tunnel Rats thing but they aren't Zam's Teammate.)

Like me personally, in my opinion you cannot work this hard to be someone's teammate if you're just going to lie, hide things (also lying) and not trust them enough to have a conversation without leaving them alone. Like you shouldn't need to be caught spying to leave your teammate alone with the guy you Know he is devoted to despite everything.

On another note, Zam literally told Derap about the Bugbombs. The only thing of importance he doesn't tell Derap is his base, which literally only Mapic knows about 'cause he's a little stalker guy.

[peliginspeaks]

I think part of the reason horror is so important, especially in dark times, is that it deals with the question: When you can't stop what's coming for you, what do you do instead?

When the horror is cosmic, when the dread is too big to be changed, the things that the characters in a well-written horror do still matter, even if it doesn't change the resolution. We feel in an instinctive narrative way that they matter. Small ways of fighting back, forming relationships in the midst of it all, a character picking a tiny goal like keeping one person safe for as long as they can and throwing their life at it again and again, another finding beauty and pointing it out between one calamity and the next... It matters to them, and it matters to the other characters. The middle part matters, even if it doesn't change the ending.

It's not about hope. You don't have to have hope - you can feel in your bones that everything's fucked, and it can be 100% true, but the middle part still matters. I think, in times when it's hard to reach a bar as high as hope, that's what makes horror more accessible. Sometimes you need hope, but sometimes you just need to know that the middle part matters.

[diamondstripe1]

Friends and strangers alike. This system that operates America has brought on a wake-up call for so many people, and that includes me. It’s because of this system that we need change, and fast, or we will all be six feet under. And I know that all seems hopeless now, now that our fates have been sworn against us, but that's only if we let it. This, is The Declaration of We, The People.

We demand a fair country. We demand liberty and justice for not just the select few, but for all. Let the poor have their fill and eat the rich, let the women live their lives without the unwanted touch of man. Let there be room for every queer under the sun’s reflection, let the disabled live their lives without the condemnation of the abled. Let your right to live and heal be priceless without the interference of the greedy, let the bare necessities not take up the fortunes in your hands. Let humanity be a part of nature, not overpower it, let humanity be free from judgement based on the parts of them that are immutable. It’s nothing less or more than what we deserve.

Your oppressors want you dead, and that is why you need to live, if you can- live and be free. Get that botched haircut, get those piercings, give a listen to that song, give that snack a try- live while you can, because damn it, you only have one life to live, and you are not gonna live it in pain and fear. If you can't live for yourself, find someone or something to live for- a friend, a family member, an acquaintance, a pet, a lover, someone you wish was your lover, hell, an enemy if you need to. Maybe find a song to live for, a plush, a goal, a wish, a feeling. I don't care what your reason to live is, I don't care how big or small it is, I just need it to keep you alive. And if you can’t live, despite everything, the least I can ask is for you to not die for nothing.

I know you’re terrified. Terrified of the wicked people in control, terrified of your lives getting into a twist. Terrified of the torture the following years will determine. I’m scared, too, but I need you to know something- you can’t become a part of a statistic. If you’re gonna go out, don’t go out like a flickering bulb- go out like Icarus, when he collided with the sun. Go out like the Phoenix, and rise from the ashes your oppressors created. Fight with everything you can, be it through words and speeches, through marches and protests, or through the guns conservatives swear by. If you're going down, take America’s cruelty with you. Don’t wait for the world to be ready for you- make it be ready for you.

If you want to keep your peace, keep your peace. If you want to bathe in your false president’s blood, bathe in his blood. This battle for the land of the free is yours to fight, and the way you fight is yours as well. But let me tell you something- we are not gonna live on a prayer and a smile, we are gonna live by putting our bloodied foot forward. Did queer people get their right to marry and to transform by making puppy eyes at their president? Did women get their right to vote by sitting around and looking pretty? Did the colored get their right to live in equality by biting their tongue? No- they fought, every damn day of their lives. And respectfully, I ask you to fight too, however you can. If you don't know how to fight, have someone teach you- and if you can't handle that, teach yourself. But I still ask you to fight.

I know, I know all seems hopeless, that a heartless man as your president seems inescapable- but so did the divine right of kings, once upon a time. We've seen things like this a million times, even if it doesn’t look like it- when there's progress, there's pushback. People will fight with their blood, sweat, and tears, only to get cut short by those who were supposed to represent them. Well, guess what? The cut will scab over, and the battle will rage on, and the fire won’t stop burning until we get the lives we deserve. We declare that we have the right to live, and we will fight for it.

Feel what you need to, but frankly, I refuse dystopia, I refuse hate, I refuse control- and I especially refuse death. I have disobeyed worse than you- my friends do not die on my watch. They want America to be ‘great’ again? Well, we, the people, will make America free again. ----------- obviously, i know what you're probably thinking; "krista what the fuck. krista a tumblr post isn't gonna do shit" and i completely understand where you're coming from- hell, before the election, i'd agree with you!! i would love to get up on a stage and recite this word-for-word. i would also like to live to my 18th birthday first, this year.

and i know what else you're probably thinking; "lol you say that and yet nobody's gonna do shit" and what are you doing?

yeah, i am WELL aware this is very idealistic, especially for the times we're gonna be living in. all seems hopeless, i completely understand that. BUT we need to have some sort of vision for our fight to live, or we're just gonna die- if not die, then live MISERABLY.

love your people. they're all you really have, right now.

[gremlinpenguin]

Some semi-coherent analysis threads bc my dumb ass needs bullet points to stay organized:

—SEASON FINALE SPOILERS BELOW!!!—

I’ve been dissecting some of allegorical elements of the story- I’m not sure if these are intended or even completely accurate to the story, just my interpretation of how every single narrative element potentially ties together, which is insanely impressive. Some of these are speculations or extrappolations; it’s hard to confirm some things until we know Buddy’s backstory, but this is based on his statement that he’s “never been the hero in any story, not even his own” (AAHHAHAHLSJHSKHSSKJ)

Sorry if some of these thoughts make no sense feel free to me for clarification lol, and I might be repeating things that have been said before but idk. And if i quote anything then I pulled it from the finale

BUT THE WHOLE STORY WORLD IS A METAPHOR FOR ROLES, CONVENTIONS, AND BREAKING EXPECTATIONS

The stories and their roles parallel the characters’ interiority

- chase is defiant of his role

- Buddy believes that his role defines him

- “What the stories want” > the characters wanting to break out of their roles

“Maybe this isn’t the ending that was supposed to happen” > DEVELOPMENT

- difference between who we are vs. who we think we are

- Think we’re “supposed to turn out” one way according to roles

- World where hero <3 villain = breaking conventions and expectations

- Ties in with the roles were given

“Our roles are gone, the world is gone, but we’re still here”

- we are our cores, not the roles we’re assigned

- The world cannot change who you truly are

- The world/roles getting destroyed = allowed them to be themselves

- Buddy became the hero

- Chase showed his vulnerability

Character complexity: buddy is and isn’t a “hero”

- there is no black and white answer

- He’s a complex person who made mistakes that he deeply regrets

- At the same time, he never caused any physical harm to chase- and when he did, he was instantly remorseful

If you think about buddy’s perspective, he fits the role of a hero

- in a bad situation

- Needs something to fix that situation

- Someone is in his way of achieving that goal for what he’s been trained to believe are selfish reasons

BUT THE METAPHORICAL PARTS!!!

Every storybook fantasy world was fake

- literally the entire setting wasn’t real

- The whole story is a giant metaphor

- Roles in stories = roles we think we fit into

- How roles inhibit you from who you really are

We can all be heroes or villains, regardless of what role we’re given

- chase defies his role as a kid who can’t go to college and needs to make money > still dreams big despite the hand he’s been dealt

“Stories just want an ending even if it’s not the one you’d expect”

- direct metaphor- ppl want to be themselves regardless of their roles

- You can’t control who someone is going to be

- All that matters is that they like themself, no matter what they expected

- They want to be enjoyed > people just want to live

The story ending = just living regardless of roles

- the stories are all fake but a direct parallel to the human personality

- We put up walls and fake facades to hide what we actually are/want

- The roles don’t matter as long as we just live

- Roles are put in place to try and create smoothness/structure

- we confine ourselves into fantasy book roles - ie deacon being the helper - without realizing that we have full power to get out of those

- We tell ourselves stories of what’s real/what we’re capable of

-the stories themselves are confining to the multi dimensional nature of human possibility

And Chase was literally invented to defy the stereotypical isekai tropes. Every character is strongly defiant of what someone might expect a stereotypical hero, villain, and sidekick to be- they’re so much richer, they all have motives and desires. And they each want to feel like “the hero” but it’s so far out of their grasps. The storybooks set an expectation of what a hero is - by literally fitting people into roles - I mean come on how much more symbolic can it get than literally ASSIGNING ROLES with the keys - but they all have a complex idea of how “being a hero” fits into their lives.

But as silver said, people love the hero because they tried- and Chase, buddy, and deacon are all trying so hard to find peace in their lives.

Back to the finale-

All the story wants is a true loves kiss > it just wants them to be themselves

- love is love lol

- Roles don’t matter, you matter

Roles > chase never fit into his role

- strong foil for buddy, who fully defined himself by his role

- Chase believed he could choose his role regardless of what life gave him

Chase is all about breaking conventions and doing the impossible

- Embodiment of unconventionality

- First to break out of role/callous hero expectation

Buddy is the embodiment of surrendering to his role

- letting it control him through fear and low self-esteem

- Surrendered to his role because he feels like a villain irl

Something always goes wrong in the stories- people are not meant to fit into roles

- chase defying the stories = rebelling against societal roles and expectations

- Buddy being a stickler for accuracy- he doesn’t know how to escape his role

“Our roles are gone, the world is gone, but we’re still here”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHSJDKFKSDJFHSKSKSJFJSJSHAHDJGKKSJAHSHDHD

- BIG HEALING MOMENT BC NOTHING IS THERE TO CONFINE BUDDY AKA HIS BELIEF SYSTEM THAT TELLS HIM HES THE VILLAIN HES LITERALLY SHEDDING HIS ROLE BC THE WORLD HAS BEEN DESTROYED SO THEIR ROLES HAVE BEEN DESTROYED TOO AAAAHHH THIS QUOTE NEEDS TO PAY RENT BC ITS SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME IN MY HEAD

- I mean come on. Yes I am a simp for metaphorical apocalypses but THIS. THEIR ROLES HAVE BEEN DESTROYED. THE TWO OF THEM ARE LITERALYYYY ALL THATS LEFT

anygay

Dreams by night episode-

- the hero’s dreams come true- but not really

- In real life, your happily ever after doesn’t always happen

- The coffin: Buddy is mentally trapped in his villain role

- He doesn’t know how to get out

- The coffin is an emotional box that he’s stuck in

- Doesn’t believe he could be anything but the villain

- Buddy’s dream could be a flashback

- Blood on his clothes- possibly had to fight other “contestants”

- I think buddy was pit against other ppl but there was one who he really cared about and let down

- He’s definitely missing someone in his life who’s no longer here

- Fighting could have convinced him he was the villain

- Or failing to save the person he cared about

- Could have made him think he’s selfish = villain

- Or survivors guilt

- Mirror = reflection of himself

- Sees chase in his reflection = sees the part of him that he knows isn’t a villain

- Chase is making him believe that he could be good/worthy of kindness and love

- Chase symbolizes the part of himself that’s fighting to break out of his villain role

- Chase gives him hope

- Not even fully aware of his internal journey

- Chase is so clearly a fresh and new viewpoint in his life

- Surprised bc he hasn’t been cared for like that before

- “This is how it has to be” - he cannot break out of his villain role

- It’s been so deeply ingrained in him

- He doesn’t think there’s any way out

- Mirror is dark > conforming to the darkness of his role

Buddy was never the bad guy > he has a very strong motivation for getting the keys back, aka turning human again

- he never lied to chase

- He helped chase finish the stories

- He told him that he needed the keys back and Chase refused

- His pranks were only ways to accomplish his goal

- Trying to get chase’s location in beach boys > couldn’t comprehend why Chase would be genuine

- Used to humans being manipulative and unkind

- Why should he think Chase is any different?

Buddy has never done something outwardly bad and not apologized for it

- so fast to apologize when he cut chase’s face

- He’s aware of the line between good and bad

He never fights back when people attack him

- Just accepts all the bad things that happen to him

- Doesn’t try to stop people from hurting him

Both buddy and Chase have done “good” and “bad” things but Buddy has never had bad motivation

- all his motivation was in self-defense

- Chase also triggers him in many ways

- Reacting to his own past through his experience with Chase

Buddy doesn’t get <that> upset with Chase when he finds out about the key - “you think I’d kidnap a poor child?”

- he’s aware of others’ perceptions of him

- The fact that he doesn’t seem super betrayed or disappointed is even sadder

- “Why would anyone think that I’m good/trust me”

- Matches his original expectations and views of himself

- Probably felt like Chase was too good to be true

- He’s used to humans betraying him

- Chase lying = affirmation that his belief system is correct

Why buddy is kinda mean to chase at first- he thinks he’s the same as the ex libris guys

- Thinks chase is making selfish wishes

- Associates him with the people who (presumably) abused buddy to get their wish

- He sees chase as a threat

Chase is threat = have to fight back

- his pranks on Chase are meant to tire him out but also to look stronger

- Insulting Chase over his weaknesses = trying to be the tougher guy

- Literally boxed and suppressed

- Matches his need to be in control of situations

- Needs everything to go the right way > triggered by his helplessness irl

main reason why he’s mean to chase- thinks chase is privileged in the ways he’s not

- calls him a brat- oblivious, doesnt think he’s suffered

- thinks chase is just playing around, which buddy can’t afford to do

chase triggers one of his deepest insecurities- having what buddy doesn’t (or so he thinks)

- don’t know buddys backstory but it has a lot less kindness/goodness

- jealous of chase but also resentful of his attitude (initially)

why buddy messes with chase - he’s a pretty big attention seeker

- he gets annoyed when deacon is around

- wants his “rivalry” with chase all to himself

- attention seeking = byproduct of surroundings

- given a lack of positive attention

punko confirmed that buddy is lazy > lack of motivation

- people without love/support can lack motivation to accomplish things

- buddy is mistreated > no reason to strive for what he wants

- Could possibly feel undeserving

- Especially if he failed to save someone he cared about

- “laziness” is interloped with symptoms of depression

Chase uses the stories as escapism

- his real life is much harder

- Mom is sick, family judges him for not having a corporate job

Buddy insulting his voice on the heels of his visits to the aunt and uncle’s house- OUCH

- chase is so strong fr I’d prolly react more like franny

Buddy starts saving chase / being the hero after beach boys

- sick day- saves deacon and brings chase to safety

- Jailer- rescues chase from creepy guy

- Still waters- saves chase’s and everyone else’s lives

That’s all I have now! I love dissecting stories and picking them apart, but oh my freaking god the storytelling in this webtoon is next-next-tier. I’m just stunned at how incredibly detailed the characters are and how every scene is packed with subtext and emotion- funny moments, sad ones, heart wrenching ones, devastating but hopeful ones. I’ve been trying to find what makes Chase + buddy’s dynamic so strong between characterization, internal conflict, belief systems, behavior, backstory, etc. and I’m sure it all comes down to punko’s imagination and her unfettered love for the story. But if you’re a chronic overthinker and obsessive analyzer like me I’d looooove to hear your thoughts, theories, analyses, or anything at all!! Especially about the dreams by night episode IM GONNA CRACK THE CODE I KNOW I WILL

[pepstarvanmoon]

I hope this doesn’t come off as me nitpicking Milkvan interactions, but these lines just comes off as odd to me.

In the show, leading up to the store scene, nothing Mike says or does regarding Max comes off as particularly jealous to me.

He gets upset with Max for taking El to the mall (not Max giving him a segway into complimenting her new style (which he does later), and he just gets mad at her instead lmao.)

He spends the beginning of the following episode pitying himself with Lucas enabling it.

“What did I do wrong?” - LIED, plain and simple. He acknowledged that before they went to the mall! El gave him a chance to explain yourself and he DIDN’T. Teenagers, man.

“Then I should be with my species more” - I guess implies spending more time with Max and her having no desire to get back with him. Mike is pissed about the spying (rightfully, imo), and obviously frustrated that him explaining himself didn’t lead to El forgiving him.

Max and El spending too much time in the bathroom, “they’re conspiring against me” - confused as to how he reached this conclusion given what we’ve seen. It’s like he just HAS to say something about it, nevermind El getting her shit tossed last episode. Listen to Will and worry about something else.

Bro is lowkey more mad about being single (and therefore ambiguously straight in Mike logic) than about El and Max being friends.

When he admits that he was jealous and wanted El “all to himself,” it sounds more like an excuse than an explanation.

We know what jealousy looks like in Stranger Things.

If anything, this “jealousy” is more closely aligned to how Dustin described Lucas’ jealousy of Mike and El’s relationship in season one.

I even tried to make an argument for Mike wanting El to himself minus the jealousy, but throughout the season it kinda fell flat.

Showing up late to movie nights (more than once) to hang out with El longer.

Ditching Dustin (the day of his return) and the others to spend more time together before El’s '4PM curfew' (a lie, ofc)

Maybe switch “conspiring” for excluding? Then you could argue he felt left out, like he’s not the closest to El anymore. However, the responses to his “conspiring” accusations were 100% negative.

(This could also play into how he felt getting stuck in the back of the car with Will, but that ventures outside the point of this post)

None of these are considered good things if Dustin, Lucas, and Will’s annoyance are considered, and Max going from “it’s romantic” to high-fiving El after she dumps Mike… yeah.

You can certainly say he’s frustrated. He’s never been in a relationship and therefore has never been broken up with, but Mike explains it like the reason he’s acting irrationally is because he’s 'never felt like this before'? But besides the whole ’Nana’ thing, that’s not really true?

Stupid stuff being 1) lying about his Nana being sick, 2) claiming girls are a different species.

Angry, sure. Jealous? Wanting her to yourself? Don’t make me laugh.

It’s all a bit hypocritical to me, too. So El can’t have ONE day out with Max, but Mike can run off with the rest of their friends while she’s stuck in Hopper’s cabin. Okay.

And, in this specific case, I don’t really buy the “she’s hiding from the government” excuse because it clearly wasn’t that big of a deal for El to have gone out that day. Mike’s concerns were brushed off, and there were no scenes with Hopper reinforcing that (we had our fill in S2 ig).

(I personally think they didn’t want any interruptions to that Elmax scene because it demonstrates how little El knows herself, and being cooped up by Hopper and Mike, though it’s sweet that they want to protect her, isn’t helping her developmental growth.)

Like damn if you really feel that strongly about it, you all could’ve had a movie night in the cabin, but Mike can’t balance his relationship and his friendships, and STILL can’t now!

Well, at least you got that part right.

(Post pretty much ends here. Rest of it is me rambling)

All of this relationship bullshit skydives out of Mike’s mind when Will gets upset btw. UNTIL he mentions girls, then Mike gets defensive.

That whole part of the rain fight gets to me, like Mike truly believes that this is a staple part of his life, getting a girlfriend and abandoning his interests. He can’t date El and play DnD, and if he’s dumped, his priority becomes getting her back instead of reflecting on what happened.

He proves he didn’t have a firm grasp on the situation when he victimizes himself, and when he actually admits to lying it doesn’t matter at that point. El already knows and DOESN’T CARE.

He’s really not confident. Lucas got a one-on-one, mirroring Mike and El’s, scene with Will to apologize, because the relationship drama is no longer important to him in that moment.

(I didn’t think Lumax broke up, but Will said in ep 3 that they both got dumped? Lucas seemed a lot less bothered, and by the time they got to the hospital scene they seemed fine lol. Lumax ‘breakups’ aren’t really taken as seriously anyway with the whole “five times” thing)

Funny how both apologies go unacknowledged because what’s done is done. They don’t care anymore (for Will, I don’t believe that for a second but yk) and there are bigger things to focus on.

It's brought back up in the hospital, but MIKE is the one who doesn’t care that much until El uses her powers on the vending machine as an “olive branch" (in Lucas' opinion, anyway).

I feel like there’s a lot to say about Mike and taking initiative versus when he has to be told to do something, but more on that another time.

[lapis-caeli]

Hi I love finding new blogs to follow I saw your asks are open so I'd like to request for Mikey(Tokyo revengers) x reader where reader has become obsessed with infinity nikki(same) and Mikey complaints about not getting enough attention

Oooh! I know the game but haven't played it yet, but it looks like a great game.

Well well, let's start!

There’s one thing to make clear from the start: Mikey loves affection.

He’d be the type of boyfriend who’s like a baby, always wanting cuddles and attention.

So, with that in mind, I can totally see him getting dramatic when he notices you’re paying more attention to your game than to him.

Part of him does it just to annoy you, but another part is genuinely jealous that you’re spending all your time with a game instead of cuddling him.

Whatever the reason, if he sees you playing for a long time instead of focusing on him, he’ll start messing with you by touching the screen (as long as he knows he won’t ruin whatever you’re doing in the game).

He might even start tickling you while complaining that you’re not paying attention to him.

A true little crybaby.

When you first showed him the game, he thought it was cute. I can totally see him sometimes playing it if you let him use your phone while you’re busy with something else.

I feel like he’d enjoy it but wouldn’t download it himself. Mikey strikes me as the kind of person who gets really into something for a week and then doesn’t touch it again for months.

You might need to keep an eye on him in the game to make sure he doesn’t mess things up accidentally, but if you teach him, he’ll know what to do.

That said, once you’re done with whatever you’re doing, your phone will be nowhere to be found.

Without a doubt, he’ll have hidden it so you’ll give him attention (and so he can see your cute angry face).

You’d end up in a full-on tickle war to figure out where he’s hidden your phone.

In the end, he had it under the pillow he was lying on and would place it in your lap while you’re panting from exhaustion.

The idiot would just look at you with a big smile, waiting for you to hit him with a pillow, because he really enjoys teasing you to get your attention.

And in the end, after all that chaos, he gets what he wanted and is the happiest person in the world, even if he leaves you wanting to kill him.

But how could you ever kill Mikey when he’s so adorable? He’s like an orange cat.

Hay una cosa que dejar clara para empezar, y es que Mikey adora los mimos.

Sería el típico novio que es como un bebé, queriendo cariño a todas horas.

Así que dejando eso claro, lo veo haciendo drama cuando ve que le haces más caso al juego que a él.

Una parte de él lo hace para molestarte y otra porque de verdad esta celoso de que estés todo el rato con un juego y no abrazándolo.

Sea cual sea la razón, si te ve jugando mucho tiempo en vez de haciéndole caso empezará a molestarte tocando la pantalla (si ve que no va a estropear lo que sea que estés haciendo en el juego)

Incluso empezaría a hacerte cosquillas mientras se queja de que no le haces caso.

Un verdadero bebé quejica.

Cuando le enseñaste el juego por primera vez le pareció lindo, me lo veo a veces jugando si le dejas el móvil mientras haces cualquier otra cosa.

Siento que le gustaría pero no se lo instalaría, pienso que Mikey sería de las típicas personas que va por rachas, una semana juega muchísimo y luego lo deja de jugar por meses.

Quizá tengas que vigilar un poco a ver que hace en el juego porque podría liarla un poco sin querer, pero si le enseñas sabrá que hacer.

Eso sí, cuando terminas con lo que estuvieras haciendo no verás tu móvil por ningún lado.

Sí o sí te lo habrá escondido para que le hagas caso (y para ver tu linda cara enfadada).

Tendríais una completa guerra de cosquillas por descubrir donde ha escondido el móvil.

Al final lo tenía debajo de la almohada donde estaba echado y lo colocaría en tu regazo mientras hiperventilas del cansancio.

El tonto solo te miraría sonriendo como si nada esperando que le pegues con una almohada, de verdad se divierte mucho molestándote para que le hagas caso.

Y al final, después de tanta guerra lo consigue y es el más feliz del mundo, aunque te deja con ganas de matarlo.

Pero ¿cómo vas a matar a Mikey con lo adorable que es? Si es como un gato naranja.

- Header and Writing: Mars 💚