#but Charlie does have his number
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Alastor: Well, Mimzy and I are staying a bit distan- *phone rings*
Alastor: Oh, pardon me, Mimzy is calling. *answers* Hello, darling~
Mimzy: Hey, Al, do you know how to say "corn" in Cantonese?
Alastor: Suk Mai?
Mimzy: HAHAHA! SUK MAI NUTS! *hangs up*
Alastor: *strongly considering murder*
#yes i know Al possibly wouldnt have a cell#but Charlie does have his number#plus his slang had to have come from somewhere#hazbin hotel#alastor#mimzy#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel mimzy#chat post#source: tiktok
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Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)
#rat rambles#starve posting#maxwell posters have lost any semblance of tolerance from me ages ago Ive yet to meet a maxwell fan who's just like a normal person#and to clarify I actually do like maxwel as I am the number one just some asshole whos in too deep enjoyer#but dear god are ppl just absolutely incapable of being normal abt this man and everyone around him#and even beyond that ppl just do not get this man like please he is indeed interesting but not because of some 'retconed redemption'#like pls we can live in a world where he is not an irridemable monster and is in fact just some guy while also still being a flawed person#like the fact that he is so deeply flawed in ways that he never actually properly adressed and challenged is the interesting thing to me#like look at me. he went through horrible shit he didnt deserve. that didnt inherently make him a better or worse person#it just made him a more miserable person#and he didnt escape because of some change of heart or character development#and afterwards he teamed up with wilson because of necessity#I do think on some level he genuinely cares abt the other survivors and he does have genuine regret for how things turned out#but again those things dont inherently mean he moved past the flaws that got him here it just means he has the ability to recognize that#shit sucks and that he wish none of it happened#its why encore is one of my favorite animations from a character perspective because it shows some juicy charlie and maxwell stuff#mainly it shows both that charlie has not forgiven his ass and is manipulating him and that maxwell is still susceptible to it#which isnt a sigh of them rolling back development it's just a sign that maxwell is easy to manipulate with the right cards#which adds up considering his past and his present very well in my opinion#this is a man whos historically always ran away from his problems and is always on the hunt for a sense of control#and charlie tapped into both that and his ever present guilt#its in fact very unsurprising and not out of place for him to fall for that sort of manipulation#and it also makes for a great set up for the inevitable betrayal from charlie as maxwell is hit by the harsh reality of his situation#and that whole situation would lead to some yummy tasty parallels when charlie inevitably gets betrayed herself (I hope)#the ways charlie and maxwel are so similar yet so different facinates me deeply I love how much charlie doesnt realize shes kinda fucked#I want her to be betrayed so hard and left in the dust with no ground to stand on I want the rug pulled out from under her feet#her composition comes from her confidence in the necessity of her actions and the moral superiority she feels over maxwell#so having her sense of superiority be revoked would make for a super fascinating dynamic as she tries to justify the situation in her head#I wanna see her siral and then maybe change her pronouns idk
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🎮 Go Outside and Touch Some Grass
*part of the best of both worlds series*
Driver: Max Verstappen Genre: SMAU/Fluff Occupation: Streamer
☆ TAG LIST IS CLOSED ☆ *if you were not tagged I could not find you*
f1wags has posted
liked by y/nsworld, streamermax, and 3,204 others
f1wags in honor of max reaching 1 million subscribers on twitch, here is a little biography for the new fans
max emilian verstappen is a dutch streamer most known for his hilarious sim racing and trying to play call of duty. max has been dating red bull's number 1 driver, y/n l/n, since late 2021. he is 26 years old, only 3 years older than y/n. as of right now, he lives in Monaco with l/n in their shared apartment, but does have another house in the Netherlands close to his mom (y/n and he go there often).
the pair has two bengal cats, jimmy and sassy, that they both love.
max was most known for dating model kelly piquet from 2019 to early 2021, but the couple had a mutual breakup. max first met y/n at a fan event after max placed first in one of the first Red Bull F1 challenges. everyone says they hit it off during summer break.
a little hidden fact is that max used to kart with Ferrari's Charles Leclerc when they were younger. an interview video resurfaced and many fans now love to tease the two whenever they're seen together. click here for the link!
max is very well loved in the f1 community since he is l/n's second public boyfriend. they couple are very private but not hidden, just the way they like it. please treat our cat loving wag well!
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y/nl/n1 has posted
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y/nl/n1 and that's number 9! simply lovely to have equaled my record once again this year! hoping I can hit 10 and 11 during this triple header!
thank you to all who came out today. you mean the world to me 🧡
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maxverstappen I love you schatje! keep up the good work 🧡
y/nl/n1 🧡😘
y/n.nation every time I try to beat max to the likes but he's always there first
maxs_keyboard I was once just a fan of max, but I'm glad I'm an f1 fan now!
simracersunite anyone else here from that tweet this past weekend? didn't even know this sport existed
cashmoney meeeee! but now that I've seen this queen dominate a lot of men, I'm here for her now
charles_leclerc maybe let us make some new records?
y/nl/n1 how about you just start winning more? 🧐
maxverstappen what she said Charles ☺️
charles_leclerc I will cause another incident max 😒
redbullracing that's our girl 🧡💙
maxverstappen no. mine.
y/nsworld congrats queen 👑
maxverstappen has posted
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maxverstappen glad to be back in the paddock to cheer on my lovely girlfriend! thank you redbullracing for the invite :D
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maxverSTOPen EVERY TIME I TRY TO BEAT Y/N AND SHE'S ALREADY HERE???
streammv was glad to see you on the big screen max!
maximillianver GUYS WHAT ARE ALL THESE F1 FANS DOING IN THE LIKES
maxsworld 🤺 stay back we had him first
y/nl/n1 my lucky charm 🥰
maxverstappen I think you can win without me but thank you 🥺
twitchoverall what's next, someone is going to tell me that Lando Norris is also an f1 driver and not just a streamer??
ln4fan uh mate, I think you need to sit down for this one
maxskeyboard HAPPY 1 MILLION SUBS MAX
y/nl/n1 has posted
liked by y/nschild, maxverstappen, dior, and 3,203,847 others
y/nl/n1 quick back home before Silverstone!
max wouldn't get off his stream tho, so I had to kidnap him (sorry twitch)
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y/nschild LET IT BE KNOWN I WAS HERE BEFORE MAX
charles_leclerc let me know if jimmy and sassy want to have a play date with Leo 😊
y/nl/n1 definitely soon Charlie! maybe summer break?
maxverstappen our children are not going to play with that dog
y/nl/n1 but maaxxx, they can be besties 🥺
charles_lerclerc 🥺
maxverstappen fine. one playdate is all you get leclerc.
maxsworld I guess we can't gatekeep max anymore 😭
max&kelly I still think max could do better 🙄
biggestkellyhater please rethink your statement. kelly was borderline a pedophile and max was so depressed he didn't stream for months. we should be thanking y/n for making max the happiest he has ever been
y/nxmax and that's on PERIOD 💅
verstappencats awwww jimmy and sassy update 🥺
streamonmax sooooo when is the next stream king?
TAG LIST: @scuderiadevils @marauderssworld @mehrmonga @glitterquadricorn @sinofwriting @splaterparty0-0 @ayohockeycheck @evalynkillgrave @bookishnerd1132 @vellicora @misty-inferno @minkyungseokie @khaylin27 @how-what-why-huh @theblueblub @zacian117 @fly-me-away @blueblink @ilove-tswizzle @sinnerpalace @thatgirlmj @spilled-coffee-cup @iangelofmusic @suns3treading @roszszs @2pagenumb @ietss @morgan-getty @younxii @phantomxoxo @pastryboyyy @lolzzzzzzzzzz @halleest @ggaslyp1 @skepvids @mil0sworld @u5dthsduttd @silkenthusiasts @coldcola @annispamz @fionaschicken @littlegrapejuice @boiohboii @crashingwavesofeuphoria @lancestrollsgf @tribbisweetdear @graciewrote @lozzamez3 @residentdegenerate @e-nonsense
#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen smau#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#f1 smau#max verstappen x you#Red Bull driver reader#f1 x driver!reader#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#formula 1 x you#f1 x female reader#f1 fanfic#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#formula one imagine#formula 1 imagine#formula one fanfiction#best of both words#drivers are wags#streamer max verstappen
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Can you please do Task force 141 finding out they’re having quintuplets! I’d imagine that they wouldn’t plan to have that many….at least not all at once 🧍♀️
Ghost
When the technician points out the five distinct dots on the ultrasound, he immediately goes dead silent
I mean, he's always pretty quiet anyway, but this is like quiet quiet
He doesn't utter a single word for the rest of the appointment, nor on the ride back home for that matter
This has you more concerned than you care to admit because you know that, not that long ago, he didn't think he'd ever have (much less want) kids of his own some day
So now that he's learned he's about to have five? You can't imagine what's going through his mind right now
It isn't until you're walking through the front door that you're being stopped with a gentle hand tugging on your wrist
You turn to look at him and, without a word, he drops to his knees before you, rolling up the bottom of your shirt to expose your belly
He'll press the softest of kisses just beside your navel, before looking up at you with expressive eyes that convey the foremost thought in his head: Thank you
Soap
Nearly shits a brick the moment the words leave the technician's mouth
All the color swiftly drains from his face and he has to sit down before he keels over right in the middle of the office
It's not so much fear that has him going paper white but pure shock at hearing the unexpected (yet not unhappy) news
While you'd already discussed having a big family together one day, you didn't think you'd get it done in one fell swoop
However, maybe you should've seen it coming since you both come from families that have had multiples
The possibility of this happening was decently high, so in a way, you're not all that surprised by the revelation
Once he's composed himself and is a little less ghostly pale in the face, he's eagerly requesting the technician to print out an excessive number of copies of the ultrasound
Why? Well, he's gotta send them to everyone, of course! His family, your family, all the lads at work. Hell, maybe your neighbor Charlie would like one too. Better print several just in case
Gaz
"C– Come again?" He thinks he misheard the technician at first
However, even hearing it a second time, he has to stand up, round the bed, and get about an inch away from the monitor to confirm for himself
It's almost comical the way his eyes widen at the screen, darting around the black and white image like he can't comprehend what he's seeing
It'll take some coaxing to get him back in his seat, and as he does, you hear him mumbling to himself – something about nappies, never sleeping again, and *shudders* University
At some point, out of the corner of your eye, you see him messing with his hands
He's putting his palm in front of his own stomach then drawing it about a foot or two away, as if trying to visualize the size your belly is destined to grow
Even when you get back home, it's like reality hasn't fully hit him yet
It's not until you find him at 2am looking up double decker prams that you realize it's finally starting to sink in, and he's more than ready for the challenge ahead
Price
Seems awfully calm when the technician breaks the news to you two
Based on his reaction – a light smile and mere "Oh, that's wonderful" – you'd think he'd just been informed of the weather or something
To be honest, his reaction (or lack thereof) is a little disarming, but you don't comment on it until you're buckling up in the car, mentioning his seeming total lack of nerves about the future
He chuckles and jokes that he already has to look after three big kids at work. What's five little ones at home to compare?
Though you think you can see what he's getting at, his cool-headedness about it all still has you in a bit of a tizzy
Is he not even a little surprised by the news? After all, it's not every day that people fall pregnant with quintuplets
At your question, he smiles and leans to press a bristly kiss to the back of your hand. When he pulls back, he's smirking, giving you the smuggest look you've ever seen from a man
"Told you I've got strong swimmers, love"
#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#john mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#soap x reader#kyle garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz x reader#john price x reader#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#simon riley#john mactavish#kyle garrick#john price#tf 141 x reader#task force 141 x reader#cod x reader#cod mw2#call of duty#modern warfare 2#wiw asks
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My girlfriend requested this
Hazbin men trying the period simulator. Somewhat of a follow up to my period post so this is based on the reader having severe period pain due to PCOS/ENDO
Lucifer
The man is sweating before you even attach the simulator. He knows he fucked up. He only agreed to this because he loves you a lot.
He handles the first 3 levels ok. You tell him very few women experience that little pain and that usually 4-6 is the average.
Those levels make him tense. He's uncomfortable, but still pretty able to work and do normal things. 5 has him pausing to do deep breaths every now and then. (If this is the canon timeline where he birthed Charlie he compares it to bad kicks).
6-8 he's pretty much doubled over. If you tell him that's the level you experience, he will cry. Literally begs forgiveness since again, period and labor pain is technically his fault. He is so sorry. If he didn't have issues with his Dad before he does now because this is fucked up. God's fucked up for doing this.
He doesn't make it to 10, he's crying by level 9. This is labor levels of pain. He gets why all you do is sleep. Treats your period like a sacred ritual after that. Preps for weeks. He goes full Bible, sheltering you for the duration of it so you can have peace and quiet. Please never hook him up to this again.
If you wear it at anything from an 8-10 and tell him "It's close, but I've hurt worse" he's gonna sob and then try and fight his Old Man again. He'll settle for offering to have your bits removed for you.
Vox
Once again this man hates admitting he was wrong. And yeah he knows your periods are really bad, especially now he's witnessed it. But it's still a huge knowledge gap for him and he doesn’t really take the time to think about it.
He handles 1-5 well. He's mildly uncomfortable by 5, but thinks that if this is the average experience, then it's not such a big deal. Tell him the statistics on how many people with periods actually experience 6-8 because that's actually the majority, and he's just confused. How is the average pain level not the most common?
6-8 has him gritting his teeth and glitching, but he refuses to stop and keeps trying to work. Is starting to wonder how you went so long working with this level of pain without him noticing.
He makes it to 10, but by then, he's unable to move, clutching his abdomen and sparking and glitching. Tells you it feels like his entire insides are being squeezed. The fact that he can feel it in his groin. He's kind of afraid of period sex with you after that because of how much he felt it. And you said it's caused cramps from your ribs to your knees. He's like... genuinely scared of your period and pain tolerance.
He's going to snuggle the fuck out of you afterwards and apologize for not appreciating how much you still do for him when you're not feeling good. How he didn't see how hurt you were. He does a lot of research after that and not only does he spoil you by buying whatever you need for your periods and giving you time off, he looks into treatment options. Even if that means chopping the useless fucking things out. Sinners can't have kids anyway so who needs ovaries and a uterus?
He's more convinced you should just be rid of the damn things when you wear it and 8-10 is "Yeah, this is close, but it doesn't really cover how much of my body hurts".
Valentino
Is only doing this because he was dared to by Velvette. Or if this an au where he's trying to be a less toxic person. But really I think it's also to prove that you're all being dramatic. It's a perfectly normal body function and his employees are just trying to get out of work.
He gets all the way to 6 before he starts to realize he may have fucked up. Especially when it's explained that this is what most people experience.
By 10 he's gritting his teeth, chain smoking, clawing at things. He refuses to give in, but he can count on one hand the number of things in his entire life and death as a pimp and a whore that he's experienced that come close to this level of pain.
No one told him his dick was gonna hurt. Sitting hurts. Breathing hurts. He doesn't even try to eat. He won't ever admit to being wrong, but he does behave more leniently with his actors when they're on their periods.
If you put it on (and lets say he actually cares about you) and setting 8-10 is "Yeah, this an average day for my cramps. My bad days are like..5 or 6 levels worse" it's gonna rearrange his brain a little. He might be a little afraid of you and some of the other actors with periods because your pain tolerances are so high. It threatens his ability to control you and them. But on the other hand, that's kinda hot???
Alastor
Has never once doubted that people who experience periods undergo serious struggle and has nothing but respect for women (and trans people he just associates it with women more because of the time period and his mama) who work through it.
He is actually the one who heard about the simulator through Rosie and asks you to show him your experience. Just to better understand you. He knows you're the type to try and function through the pain (probably because society ingrained into you that your pain doesn't matter).
Initially, he wants to skip the lower levels and just have you set it to your pain level. You tell him that's a bad idea, and to be honest, you're not sure if this thing goes that high. He asks you to check and you set it to the highest setting and say, "It's pretty close. It's been worse, but this is a rough idea," he's a little frustrated but still tries it.
You agree to set it to 4 and tell him 4-6 is what most people report feeling. He acknowledges it, registers it as unpleasant, but otherwise is fully capable.
7-9 has his ears flat, his smile is more a snarl. This is uncomfortable. Not what he considers painful but certainly irritating. It makes sitting, stretching, and eating feel much more difficult.
10. There's static visble around him. His teeth grind. Actually painful. Not the worst pain he's experienced, but he hates it. He hates the way he feels it in his back and hips as he walks. He hates the way taking deep breaths (which for someone as dramatic as he is and with the transatlantic accent, breathing technique and posture is important) stings. He hates the way it causes his stomach to cramp and churn. He hates the ache in his thighs and groin that make sitting feel stiff and ackward. He can only picture how blood loss would make this worse. Tired, losing nutrients, the headaches, the increased moodiness. It's no wonder you sleep, so much, but he wonders how the Hell you sleep like this? He's snappy and short tempered because of the pain (and again he gets why you would be if you weren't sleeping so much).
How does this affect how he treats you?
Not much. He still expects you to know your body and your limits. He would never dare to presume otherwise. He still helps prepare whatever you need for your time of the month and still meal plans for you, though he perhaps finds ways to ensure you get all the iron and vitamins you need without cooking steak and other big, heavy meals, since he now understands how bad your stomach hurts.
The only really noticeable change is how much more protective of you he is. Your time of the month hits, and Alastor hates being more than a few moments from you. He growls, pins his ears, and his antlers grow when people get too close to you. He's more prone to letting you snuggle with him when you want, trying to comfort you.
Angel Dust
Another who volunteered. His girl besties insist he doesn't have to do this, he's got the pass. He still wants to do it though, for solidarity.
He also starts on 4 and handles it well. He handles all of the levels pretty well, even 10. By 7 it's obvious he's sore, maybe a bit more withdrawn, exhausted, trying not to move too much or eat too much. Just trying to find a comfortable way to exist. The sad problem is, Angel already has to do this after rough nights at Val's.
He's used to sitting being uncomfortable and aches in his groin and thighs, cramps in his stomach from muscles clenching constantly. 10 is the only level where he's visibly ill, hunched over, lower arms curled around his midsection protectively.
He and the girlies all curl up together and nap and chat and snack on easy to digest junk food and granola bars. He's the first one to say "I bet it's even worse for you gals, but I tried".
He gets it. He's one of the girls. Honestly, kind of becomes a favorite when the ladies have period problems. (If you're dating any of the others and Angel is openly your favorite after this it is gonna cause a lot of dramatic pouting, posturing, and tantrum throwing.)
Husk
I'm going full balls to the wall on Veteran Husk. This man has seen some shit and dealt with his fair share of pain. Like Angel he takes it the best, with very little outward reaction. He's used to stiffness and nausea. The pain in his crotch is a little off putting, but it could be worse.
He's more cautious how he moves, rests more, occasionally a cramp causes his ears to pin back or a small hiss. Overall he takes it like a champ.
Offers you endless amounts of supportive words for dealing with this as well as you do, for days on end. Also is deeply sorry you even have to put up with this shit. Offers all sorts of tips on how to do stretches that help with easing cramps and stiffness without pulling something. Tips of foods/protein drinks to keep on hand to make sure you're maximizing how much nutrition you get. Man's a whole ass survival guide.
He only offers advice if you ask, though. He's not mansplaining how to handle your own body. He genuinely wants to help you, and that's the best way he knows how.
When you're on your period and just want something soft and warm he doesn't even bitch about it, he just settles on top of you and purrs, offers a massage, maybe offers a sly grin and a "no man left behind" joke as he helps you through these dark times.
BONUS:
ADAM
Would only do this if you challenged him, he has to prove his masculinity. He is definitely nervous as fuck though because he's seen yours. You and Lute already forced him to sit through a whole PowerPoint on women's anatomy and shit. He remembers how shitty he was to Eve, even if hers were in comparison, not that bad, just scary and new.
You forcing him to learn about and acknowledge female health is making him scared of pussy. This isn't gonna help.
3 and 4 make him whiney. He's uncomfortable. His groin feels weird. This sucks. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T EVEN THE AVERAGE?!"
By 5-7 he's actually on his knees, curled over his stomach. He tells you getting stabbed hurt less. This is making him re-evaluate his entire view on women (again he knows about trans people, but because of personal history equates periods to women. Wouldn't hate if a trans person had a period, it would just take his brain a second to process). He whines that you and Lute shouldn't be more badass than him.
"I thought men were supposed to be tougher and stronger. This pain tolerance horseshit is a lie. You guys suck."
He insists on going to 10 because quitting is for losers. He may actually throw up at 10 though. Every time the stupid simulators sends out a pulse and his stomach clenches, he groans. He's in the featal position, there are tears. One hand clenches his stomach the other is cupped around his groin. He's apologizing so much and he doesn't even remember what he's apologizing for. At one point its just "I'm sorry...oh fuck this...sorry about...ugh just...just men?! I guess. Fucking shit ass. Men suck. Women are...fucking great. Aces. You do this shit every month? For like 5 days....what the fuck. What the fuck what the fuck."
You feel a little bad, but Lute is definitely filming this. Afterwards, he tells you you're a badass and any person shit talking people for bitching about period pain (Not that a lot of Winners do, but ya know, obviously they let some questionable people into Heaven if Adam and Lute got by) he's gonna beat the shit out of them. Like "Do you even fucking know, bitch? They're literally so much fucking better than you. Absolute queens. You try doing literally anything when it feels like your dick is falling off and your insides are trying to claw outside your body!"
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel lucifer#vox x reader#hazbin hotel valentino#lucifer x reader#hazbin hotel angel dust#hazbin hotel husk#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel adam
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Drive Me Crazy
Chapter Three
None of you are used to pack dynamics. Unlike then, it made you near feral. There's nothing more they want than to build you back up.
Lestappen X Reader
Chapter One Chapter Two
It all happened so fast. Max grabbed a hold of Charles and pulled him away from you, as your handler grabbed the back of your shirt and pulled you away. A good thing, too. Your teeth were bared at him, ready to bite down on any inch of skin you could reach.
The muzzle was fastened over your mouth, keeping every body else safe from you. "Huh," Charles said as he struggled out of Max's grip. He looked at you, at the way your expression changed the minute the muzzle was back over your face. Eyes wide, expression guilty as you stared at him.
I'm sorry, you wanted to choke out. But you couldn't. Instead a whimper left your lips as you tried to beg for some sort of forgiveness. But Max (Max fucking Verstappen! But you could freak out about that later) stepped between you. The look he gave you was enough to shut you up.
"Come on," said your handler as she pushed you through the garage. You couldn't stop yourself from looking guilty as engineers and mechanics stared at you. They'd seen what had just happened, there was no doubt in your mind. Your gaze fell to the floor, unable to look any of them in the mind.
There was your car, your F1 car. Your status as reserve driver had been kept quiet, your seat fitted and the car set up to your liking. Your number sat on the car, number fifty-three. It was real. It was really, really real.
They were still watching you. They watched as you touched the numbers on your car, as you climbed your way inside of it and sat in your seat.
"How does it feel?" Your handler asked, leaning over the halo.
You nodded as you looked up at her. Good. It felt good. It felt right. As soon as this part of your life was over, you could finally be done.
Out of the corner of your eye, you watched as Max pushed Charles through the garage. Through the garage and out the other side. Your focus fell back onto the steering wheel in front of you and you mimicked a lap around the circuit.
You didn't know that Max was pushing Charles into his drivers room. You didn't know just how angry he was with Charles. But you did hear as Max slammed the door shut.
"What the hell were you thinking?!" Max roared, his expression furious.
Charles didn't cower at his anger. They were long past the days where Max's wrath would have his retreating to safety. "You saw her, right?" He asked and glanced at the door. "You saw how much she needs me."
"Needs you? Charlie, she went to attack you! She doesn't need you."
But Charles shook his head. "She needs me in the way you needed me, Max. She's what you would have become if you didn't let me in."
"She's dangerous."
Charles's hands were on his cheeks, holding his face. "So were you." He didn't let Max drop his chin to his chest and kissed him slowly. "What if I can help her in the way I helped you? Shouldn't I try?"
Max placed his hands over Charles's. His cold hands, cold from the can of Red Bull he had finished before he marched over, against Charles's warmer ones. "Not if it puts you in danger," he whispered, his eyes pleading. "Charles, I..."
But he couldn't say it.
"Come on," Charles said and let his hands slip away from Charles's face. "I can't top your speed in practice if you're sulking in here," he whispered and kissed Max once more.
As they walked back through the garage (Max continuing on to the Red Bull garage), there you were. Your helmet, Ferrari red and covered in sponsors, nothing personal about it, sat on your head. Acting as a muzzle, Charles realised when he looked at you.
His leg jolted, but he stopped himself from walking over to you. No, not yet. Not after what had just happened. He gave you a smile and you flipped up the visor, letting him see your eyes.
Charles got himself ready to climb into the car. All the time he wasn't wearing his helmet, he was looking at you, watching you. You, in your fireproofs, with your overalls around your hips. It suited you, everything but the helmet. The helmet looked too corporate.
You needed something personal, a design all your own.
"Tell me how she does," Charles said to Bryan before he pulled his helmet over his head.
Bryan passed him his gloves. "You worry about your own drive, okay?" He said and Charles focused his eyes forward.
Formula One was nothing like Formula Two. Everybody on the grid had forgotten it, even if they had all been in the series at some point. Most before it was called Formula Two, back when it was GP2.
There had been little preparation for your transition into Formula One. It wasn't supposed to happen yet, you were supposed to have more time. But then Carlos went and broke his damn leg and here you were.
If only he wasn't human, maybe you wouldn't be in this situation.
Your first lap was, well, terrifying. More than once you wanted to stop the car, jump out and dry heave onto the gravel. Nothing would come up, that you knew. But you kept going, keeping out of the way when the McLaren's came past.
First practice isn't about being the fastest, you told yourself.
"Next lap go," your engineer said, as if you were a dog he had taught a trick to. You gritted your teeth as you took the last corner. And then, you went for it.
It wasn't about topping the times, about being the fastest on track. It wouldn't be for you this weekend, anyway. This weekend was about getting a feel for the car you'd spend the next few weeks in. It was about bringing the car back to the garage in one piece. You didn't need to worry about scoring points or helping the team in the constructors, not this week.
But that was all you were thinking about.
Gotta go fast. Gotta score points. Gotta go fast. Gotta score points. Gotta go fast. Gotta score points. Gotta go fast. Gotta score points.
The lap felt good. Not fast, but good. But that wasn't enough, not for you. Your engineer said something, something that was met with a snarl as you went again.
"Come into the pits on this lap!" Your engineer was shouting. "Box fucking box!"
Box box. You knew that phrase, even when you weren't thinking right. But the lap was good. You couldn't abandon it, not now. "Box box, beastie."
Slamming on the brakes, you swerved into the pitlane. A dangerous move, one that would definitely see you penalised. You pitted and the car was pushed back into the garage.
"What the hell were you thinking?!" Your engineer roared as he marched over to you. He gripped the halo are he stared down at you.
You were still, chest heaving as you waited to be told what to do. Waiting for your handler to come over and give you instructions. Eyes set forward, watching as Charles pulled into the pit. He wasn't there for very long, a minute at most, before he was making his way back onto the track.
"Beastie," your handler said, grabbing your attention. You looked up. Well, looked up as much as you could in the car. "Listen to your engineer. No more driving like that, okay?"
She said it so gently that you found yourself attempting to nod. Just wanting to make her happy, to make her proud of you. Her hand was suddenly on top of your helmet. "You know what happens if you disobey."
Your eyes were still focused forward and you nodded again. You weren't going to disobey again. You wouldn't dare.
When she patted your helmet, you shut your eyes. That was close to what would happen, close enough to have you moving away.
"Get back out there," she said and moved away from you. You drove out of the garage, down the pitlane and out onto the track.
You did what your engineer told you. Did a push lap when you were told and cooled down when you had to. Of course, you didn't see the wave Charles gave you when you went past, couldn't hear as he asked about you on the radio.
"How is she doing?" He asked Bryan.
"She's doing good, Charles, but concentrate on your own drive, please."
You were doing good, that was all Charles needed to know.
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Lucifer Morningstar x Pregnant!Reader Headcanons
As much as dear Lucy and reader enjoyed themselves in this headcanon post, I can't help but imagine such activities might lead to Charlie become a big sister, so I put some headcanons together for such a situation. I know that Sinners can't get pregnant as canon currently stands, so I typically employ either the Rules of Fanfic or I imagine reader is a living human that ended up in Hell through magic shenanigans (will elaborate with a prompt post once I've got the spoons), though of course you're free to imagine them as Hellborn or whatever suits your fancy!
Warnings: Pregnancy Mention, Implied Smut
- He's insistent you see the Royal Physician as soon as you start experiencing symptoms, but he's not at all prepared for the diagnosis you bring back, and he might need you to repeat it a few dozen times. You're pregnant? With a baby? And it's his? He put a baby in you? You're going to have his baby? An actual baby? He's going to be a dad again?! So goes the conversation for a good ten or so minutes, and suffice to say he's far from calm once the news finally does sink in. Given that the two of you had assumed that an angel and a mortal couldn't reproduce, this is more than an unexpected surprise, and Lucifer knows all too well how much of a fuss this will create from Hell's lowest ring all the way up to Heaven. That's to say nothing of how Charlie might take the news...
- Once the initial panic fades, after a solid hour or so, he gathers himself and focuses on setting a course of action. A very important decision needs to be made. He says it's up to you, but upon being asked what he'd like to do, the King of Hell surprises himself and answers without hesitation that he'd love to have this baby with you. He's surprised because he knows better than anyone that it will be challenging, but he can't deny how much he wants it regardless. Having Charlie was the greatest thing he'd ever done, and the thought of another little bundle makes his heart swell in ways he can barely describe, but ultimately he'll support whatever decision you make. Carrying a half-Archangel is no easy feat... Hearing that you want the same and intend to carry through is enough to make him lift you clear off the ground in a spinning airborne embrace, wings fluttering like a hummingbird as he breaks out into a celebratory musical number or two. He can't wait to be a dad all over again!
- If you thought he pampered you before, you were wrong. He doubles the amount of servants at your call, ensures there's always a physician available at a moment's notice, and hires a full team of chefs to cook whatever you might crave at any hour of the day. From beginning to end, he doesn't want you to want for anything, and the man knows a thing or two about spoiling, and he goes all out to ensure you're surrounded by comfort at all times. That's to say nothing of his own personal dedication to more or less worshiping your existence. Even the tiniest indication of pain or discomfort has him leaping to your assistance. Backrub? Footrub? Full body massage? You name it, he's quite happy to provide. If it wasn't such a cliche he'd be rather happy to feed you grapes from a golden platter. His efforts are borne from the deep sense of pride he feels every time he looks at you and thinks of how incredible it is that he's with you, that you're carrying his child, and that the two of you are bringing something quite wonderful and unique into existence. Said pride fully extends to the public view, where he doesn't hesitate to show you off and humbly brag to anyone that will listen about the news.
- You'll also find that as protective as he was before, he doesn't even hesitate to get his fangs out now, not that many in Hell are stupid enough to mess with the King's beloved. He expects you to be treated with the highest levels of respect, and if he can't accompany you somewhere, he'll insist on an armed escort to keep you safe. This fear isn't completely unfounded, as there are some willing to risk everything for an upper hand on Lucifer, but he's got ample experience keeping the opportunists at bay. He did the same when Lilith was expecting Charlie.
- Speaking of Charlie, the only thing that gives him any kind of hesitation is his fear that she might take the news poorly. Though she took your relationship well, what if she isn't thrilled about a younger sibling? With their relationship so recently repaired, he fears she might worry about being replaced or pushed aside, and he doesn't know how to reassure her that nothing will ever make him love her less. Thankfully, with her boundless kindness and eternally upbeat personality, the Princess of Hell puts his worries to rest as soon as she gets the news. In fact, she reacts much the same way her father did; a massive hug and a delighted musical number, albeit with far more happy sobbing. She promises through tears that she'll be the best big sister Hell has ever seen, and that she simply can't wait.
#hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin lucifer#lucifer imagine#lucifer x reader#lucifer fluff#lucifer headcanons#hazbin x reader#x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader#hazbin hotel x y/n#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin imagine#hazbin fluff#hazbin hotel headcanon#hazbin hotel imagine#pregnancy#charlie morningstar
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If you don't want to write this it's completely fine
Could you please do Adam, Husk, Lucifer and Alastor (separately) x fem!reader who is going through *that* time of the month and how they'd try to help? (Love your writing btw)
A/n: you're so sweet, thank you.
Adam:
Mind goes right to sex, he heard it helps so why wouldn't he wanna help his girl.
"It's alright beautiful." Adam gave you a wink tugging you close to his chest. "A little blood doesn't bother me."
Really tries, goes to Lute if he see's you are in pain. He does not like seeing you in pain, will honestly try.
Will get any food you want and eat it with you, think's you're the hottest thing to hit heaven and will tell you that. { is low key scared you'd leave him for Lucifer }
"You're so sexy babe, want me to message your tit or thighs? I can do that."
Adam nuzzled his nose into your neck. "I can make you feel good."
Husk:
Will offer to get you drunk to numb the pain sin e he really does not know how any of that shit works.
Husk would let you cuddle into him if you are in pain. You love how soft he is, how warm he is, he is like your own personal heater.
If you are horny, Husk would step up to help you with the problem. Like Adam, he takes no issue with the blood.
Won't ask anyone for help, want's to do it himself and though he may mess up a little he does his best to try.
"Need a drink.?" Seeing the scowl on your face, Husk stepped out from behind the bar to give you an awkward hug. His nose pressing into your neck as his paw slowly ran down your message your stomach.
"I'll make you feel good."
Lucifer:
Is the one that know's the most about period's due to Lillith and Charlie.
Would do anything to help you, go all out to make sure you feel good. You're his number one priority.
"Need anything Princess? A heating pad, something to take the pain away? Sweets? Or do you prefer something savory or salty?" Lucifer stepped close to you taking your hand in his. "Anything you want, it is yours."
Giving him a weak but tired smile, you shifted your body on the bed. "How about a nice cuddle."
"That I can happily do." Sliding in the bed next to you, he nuzzled his nose into your neck.
Finds out you become more fertile when you are pregnant, will practically beg for sex.
Alastor:
Is in between knowing more than Adam and Husk but knowing less than Lucifer. Since he care's about you will offer to help with what you need. He can't have his little doe in pain now can he.
Makes someone useless to grab an essential that you might need.
Hates that your blood drives him a bit crazy, you smell better than before.
"Now why are you up?" Alastor gave you a large grin tilting his head to the side. Stepping towards you, he placed a finger under your chin so you were looking up at him. "Can't have you wandering around when you smell so delicious."
Lets you sit with him while he does his radio broadcasts, you look so cute when you sleep.
#blurbs#blurb#hc#hcs#hazbin hotel adam#adam hazbin hotel#adam x reader#adam x you#husk x you#husk hazbin hotel#husk x reader#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel husk#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#lucifer magne#lucifer x reader#lucifer x you#lucifer x y/n#alastor#alastor x reader#alastor x you#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x y/n#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel alastor#lucifer morningstar x reader
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wrong number
summary: when a barista of the cafe sunghoon frequents gives him her phone number, he decides to try his luck and texts her. problem is, it seems as though he’s got it all wrong and texts you instead.
warnings: playful banter, pseudo-mean jokes, flirting <3
notes: hi! I’ve never written a social media au before but saw so many people having fun creating stories like this, so I thought I’d try my hand at it. I really hope you enjoy reading <3
add yourself to my taglist !!
masterlist
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
PROFILES: snoopy nation x operation: roommates
ONE: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CAN AFFORD RENT
TWO: god took her time on you
THREE: hazelnut is god’s gift to earth
FOUR: invisible string theory
FIVE: this is not a hallmark movie
SIX: weekend at yn’s is NOW
SEVEN: i need a ride or die like you tbh
EIGHT: you have a cute voice by the way
BONUS
NINE: she left me on read
TEN: if that’s how you flirt then i’m a little worried for you
ELEVEN: someone talk me down a ledge
TWELVE: i’ll bet anything that you’re gorgeous in person
THIRTEEN: charlie, linus, and franklin
FOURTEEN: what if i just manifested a girlfriend
FIFTEEN: you’re so down bad it hurts me
SIXTEEN: (coming soon)
*✧・゚─────────── *✧・゚
#enhypen x reader#park sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon x you#park sunghoon smau#park sunghoon fluff#park sunghoon x oc#enhypen imagines#park sunghoon imagines#park sunghoon scenarios#enhypen scenario#enhypen sunghoon#kpop smau#kpop x reader#wrong number#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon
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Girl Talk
Part Two of my Imagines with Angel Dust.
“So Alastor, he’s like all . . .” Angel Dust made strange gestures with his hands above his head, his thumbs pressed to his hair and fingers splayed out, and you were fairly certain he was trying to mimic antlers growing. “. . . murder-y and shit right? Even if he’s at the hotel, you can’t expect us to believe he’s stopped doing all that.”
It was late at night and you and Angel were at the bar, keeping Husk company, and nursing a couple of cocktails.
Alastor had disappeared hours ago, which wasn’t unusual, but it was getting late. You weren’t letting yourself be worried just yet, he was the Radio Demon after all, and could certainly take care of himself. But you couldn’t help being a little on edge. Alastor always came home but still. He could give you an idea of where he had gone off to and what he was doing when he took off like this.
“Why, are you going to tattle to Charlie if I say he is?” you said, a little too defensively.
“Hey, I ain’t no rat,” Angel said, also defensive. “I’m just trying to figure the guy out.”
“He’s still the Radio Demon,” you respond vaguely.
“Oh well that tells me everything.” Angel rolled his eyes.
Husk chuckled, wiping a glass dry.
“He’s a serial killer and a cannibal. The day that guy stops doing all that is the day I’ll stop drinking and gambling.”
You scowl over the rim of your cocktail.
“You make him sound like a monster when you say it like that.”
Husk raised an eyebrow at you.
“Excuse me if I ain’t your boytoy’s number one fan. ‘Sides, not like anything I said wasn’t true.”
“Hey, he’s not out their killing all willy nilly, right?” Angel offered. “I mean, I pissed him off the other day and he let me go. Val woulda done way worse. So that means he’s got a type, I’m assuming? Like a uh . . . a demographic . . . of people he kills. If you ain’t that, he’ll still be creepy and fucking weird, but you’re probably safe.”
“Probably,” you smirk.
“Whatever,” Husk said with a grumble, and threw his towel over his shoulder, turning his back on the two of you.
“So, about those tentacles-“
“No,” you snapped, cutting off Angel’s sentence before it could be finished.
“Oh come on! You can’t leave me hanging like that!”
You just rolled your eyes and sighed, taking another sip of your drink.
“Oh . . . hanging, now there’s a thought,” Angel pressed on. “So suspensory play, huh? I bet those are really fun for that. Just how talented is the guy with those things? Because I bet with some practice, you could even use them for some interesting kind of Shibari. Or is he unimaginative and just shoves them right up your-“
“Angel, seriously, did you not learn your lesson last time?”
“Oh I learned my lesson all right. I learned how hot it is. So c’mon, admit it,” he teased, leaning closer to you, “you guys are into bondage.”
You laughed, unable to hide the sly smile on your face, but said nothing.
“I guess it makes sense,” Angel continued, “the guy does own souls. He’s probably gotta have that type of control in the bedroom.”
“You just go ahead and let your imagination run wild, my friend,” you said with a giggle.
“Baby, my imagination can run marathons,” Angel bragged. Then suddenly, he turned serious and looked over at you. “Wait, does he own your soul?”
Husk turned around and both men were now looking at you. Knowing both of their predicaments, you almost felt bad for your answer.
“No,” you said quietly.
“NO?!” Angel yelled, slapping his hand down on the bar counter.
‘No,” you repeated.
“But . . . but, that’s what he does. I mean, he even owns Niffty’s soul. So why are you with him-“
“Angel,” you interrupted, putting your hand on his arm. “I’m with him because I love him. Because I choose to be.” You said your words firmly, making sure your point was crystal clear. “And anyway, Alastor’s not the type to sleep with a soul he owns. It’s hard to explain his twisted moral code but he would think that was rude . . . or abusive . . . or just trashy. No offense.”
You knew about Angel’s forced and strained deal with Valentino and felt awkward, exposing the stark differences between your relationship and theirs.
“If I was making him sound like a monster, you’re making him sound like a fucking angel,” Husk said.
“Fair,” you agreed. “So, he’s complicated. But so am I.”
“So you really are into monster fucking. Got it,” Angel said, sounding deadly serious but when you looked at him, you saw the hint of a smile beginning to spread across his face.
“Wellllll,” you said, drawing out the word and giving Angel a side eye, “sometimes he has to blow off some steam. And those antlers are great for holding onto for balance.”
Angel choked on the drink he was taking a sip from.
“Now we’re talking,” Angel replied, eagerly leaning towards you again.
You held up a finger, stopping Angel from invading your space anymore. “That’s more than enough information for now.”
“Let me get this straight. He’s got the tentacles, he’s got the antlers,” Angel listed, holding up a finger for each item on his list. He held up a third finger, looking at you and tilting his head expectantly. “Say, you ever have a threesome with his shadow?”
You felt your face heating up, desperately trying to keep your composure and think of a witty response that wouldn’t give anything more away than your expression was, when thankfully you were saved by the front doors of the hotel slamming open.
Alastor walked in, his usual confident walk more of an exhausted shuffle, and he was covered head to toe in blood and the occasional clump or string of viscera.
“Holy shit buddy,” Angel exclaimed, “looks like you bit off more than you can chew.”
“I’m fine,” Alastor huffed and waved his hand dismissively. “Splendid, really. Just need some cleaning up.”
“Do you need any help?” you asked, sounding more flirty than concerned.
“Down girl,” Alastor replied and tapped you on the head with his microphone as he strode past you. “I’ll see you all in the morning.”
He evaporated into shadow as he reached the staircase.
“If he could just do that, then why’d he have to make a show of walking through the front doors?” Angel complained, “He left bloody footprints all over the lobby!”
“That’s Al’ for you,” Husk said, “Always gotta be dramatic.”
You sat in silence, ignoring the two men’s banter and you gripped the glass of your cocktail, staring at it as if it had your entire focus.
A few moments went by where no one said anything and the lull in conversation became awkward.
“You don’t have to stay down here, you know,” Angel offered. “I can tell you want to go sexually attack him.”
You nodded. “I need to go lick every inch of that man clean,” you said and headed upstairs.
Part 3
#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor x reader#alastor fanfiction#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#angel dust#hazbin angel dust#angel dust x reader#hazbin hotel imagine#alastor imagine#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel fic#hazbin hotel fanfiction
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Imagine; Lucifer meeting one of Charlie's hotel members who's real heckin' tall and falling for them
Imagine Lucifer Falling for A Tall AF Member of The Hazbin Hotel
I know this is sorta similar to my other one I wrote so I tried my best to make it different
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It’s not a shock when he comes to the hotel for his daughter and sees you, dudes practically drooling
He keeps his cool but holy shit your tall and stunning and Lowkey intimidating but he loves it
He DEFINITELY has a thing for people being taller than him and Angel dust definitely called his ass out for it
“You have a thing for Y/N~”
“It’s not that obvious is it?”
It is that obvious.
Alastor being annoying blowing Lucifer’s attempts to talk to you
“This. Bitch”
When he finally does get to talking to you you’re helping with cleaning the hard to reach areas that Nifty can’t get to
Offers help just to get closer to you and it puts you off but don’t mind the company so you allow him to
Except uh the problem is dude is so short he can’t reach half the stuff and ends up not being as helpful but you figured it would end up that way
You two end up talking as you do you the cleaning and hit it off
Charlie is lowkey highkey spying on you two because she honestly didn’t expect you two to hit it off
She also kinda did? She knows her dad likes taller people for some reason. She’d never ask
Lucifer would probably try to reach something and out of reflex and you pick his ass up and help him only to quickly put him down and apologize profusely
He did not mind it and wanted to stay that way
He laughs it off and mentions how he could’ve used his wings to get up
Made you 1000% more embarrassed 💀
You two joke about it and when he has to leave, you two exchange numbers
“Here’s my number incase I need someone to help with my ducks on the top shelves”
“Mhm, so What happened to ‘I could’ve used my wings to get up there?’”
He shrugs it off before taking you hand and kissing your knuckles
“Until next time mademoiselle”
Leaves you a blushing confused ass mess with Charlie practically screaming in excitement
#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel husk#husk hazbin hotel#hazbin art#hazbin charlie#hazbin angel dust#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin vox#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer
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okay I hope I’m doing this Right 🔵 + prompt 4, number 4 and 21 :3 btw Alastor x shy!reader
Prompt 4, #4&21: pulling hair back and calling them ‘good girl’/‘thats it, fuck, thats a good girl’
“Come in”
You smiled shyly as you poked your head into Alastor’s office, bringing in coffee and sweets you thought the deer would appreciate.
Alastor had been rather busy with maintaining the hotel’s advertisements for Charlie.
”I thought you wouldn’t mind a break” you said approaching him with the tray of goodies.
Your relationship with the Overlord was a secret, Alastor not wanting anyone to know that such a pretty thing was his soft spot.
So you did your duties around the hotel without much contact with him.
It was moments of quietness that you were able to to sneak and see your ever busy lover.
He let out a hum, leaning back in his chair as he pulled you into his lap, peppering soft kisses to your neck and cheek.
”Oh my dear, you never fail to surprise me” he brawled in your ear, hands roaming your body.
You fixed his coffee and fed him, pressing cute kisses to his cheek and nose as he scribbled on some notes.
The two of you sat in bliss, just enjoying the peace and each other for a bit.
Your fingers massaged at his shoulders, easing the tension and scratching at his scalp.
Alastor adored how attentive you were to him. Your shy nature was what made him enamored with you.
You shifted in his lap and he grunted, feeling your ass press against his length.
”Al?” You asked, concerned but he made no motion to act on the raging desire pooling in his belly.
A knock at his door had you jump “Hey Al! I have a few more ideas I wanted you to see”
Charlie!
You saw the doorknob turn and ducked under the desk, settling between Alastor’s legs.
You heard the princess come in and begin chatting with Alastor.
You laid your head against his thigh and smiled when his hand reached underneath and pet your head.
You tuned out Charlie’s chattering and focused on the tent in his dress pants. Oh?
Normally you wouldn’t, but you couldnt help but graze your fingers against the bulge, making him tense up.
You quietly buckled his pants, dipping your hand into them to fish for the cock you desperately wanted.
Alastor adjusted slightly in his seat, letting you pull his hardened cock out.
You wet your lips and licked a strip up his length, hand starting to twist along his girth and fiddle his balls.
You sucked on his tip, swirling your tongue, before taking him deep into your mouth.
You bobbed your head slowly, fisting what you couldnt take with your hand.
The hand in your hair tightened and guided you along his cock, burying him in your throat.
”Well i will add that to my list thank you charlie”
The door shut and Alastor let out a growl as he peered down at you, mouth stuffed with his cock.
With a sharp grin, he pushed your head down until your nose was tickled by his pelvis fluff.
”Such a pretty slut” he purred as you stared up him with big doe eyes, his claws pulling your locks and pulling you off his cock, a thin string of spit connected from his tip and your lips.
Your cheeks were flushed and you clenched your thighs together at his comment.
”Go on then dear, good girls finish what they start”
You gave kitten licks to his tip, coating the length with spit. You hummed as you scooped his balls into your mouth, softly sucking before nibbling at the slit of his cock.
You gagged as you took him into your throat, hollowing your cheeks as you bobbed your head.
”Yeeeessss thats it, thats a good girl. Always know how to make me feel better”
Your eyes widened in surprise when you heard the door open again and before you could pull away, Alastor’s hand tugged you until you were buried to hilt, throat contracting around his cock.
”Oh Al and another thing!….ugh are you ok?”
Alastor peeked down at you quickly before looking at Charlie, a smile on his face “Oh its nothing dear just something i have to take care of later”
Your throat bobbed as you swallowed his cum.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor#hazbin hotel fanfiction#jyoongim#alastor x reader#alastor x y/n#alastor the radio demon#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor smut
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Radioapple fic, where after it's revealed that Pentious was redeemed, Heaven sends some angels (including some of Lucifer's own family) down to check out this Hazbin Hotel. (common fic theme)
And Lucifer is STRESSED. He hasn't seen any of his family in millennia, and they absolutely did not part on good terms. Especially because now he has to make as good of an impression as he can because he will NOT be the cause of Charlie's dreams failing.
Anyway, one of Lucifer’s estranged family arrives and they have absolutely NOTHING good to say about the hotel, it's people, or even hell itself. Insulting the decor, how it looks, being like "You got kicked out for free will and THIS is what they do with it? Ugh." and the like.
Lucifer is trying to keep himself together for Charlie's sake. (He's only had 3 breakdowns today, he's doing good!)
However, the last thing he expects is Alastor coming to his defense. Alastor looks at this shitty relative of Lucifer’s and is immediately like, "How DARE you? Antagonizing this angel is MY JOB, and I don't send him into hysterics, I send him into MUSICAL NUMBERS. Get out of my hotel immediately." But, obviously, he can't SAY that (for many reasons, the least of which is that Charlie needs them here for her redemption project).
So instead, he just picks at everything they say. "Hmmmmm, yes, but we at least chose to do this with this, free will you're insulting. What's your excuse for that eyesore youre wearing, hmmm?"
Alastor goes as far as to defend Lucifer’s choices in decor in the hotel, and Lucifer is completely confused because he and Alastor literally fought the day before about that SAME decor??
(The second the angel leaves Alastor turns to him and goes "They're right, you know, that is the ugliest interior design I've ever seen," and then DISAPPEARS before Lucifer can even respond. What the hell?!)
Alastor is not ignorant of toxic family dynamics, and while part of his initial issues with Lucifer stemmed from his belief in him being a deadbeat father, actually knowing him kind of changes his thoughts on this. It's a little telling that Charlie has been (apparently) attempting to contact her mother during her 7 year disappearance and has heard nothing, but the father who (she believed) thinks she's a failure shows up within an hour of her calling him ONCE. And then he does whatever he can to help her dreams, and the second she implies she wants him around more, he MOVES IN. It's kind of hard to continue thinking that LUCIFER is the toxic parent in the family dynamic, after all this.
(He still fights him, though, because it's fun to tell the most powerful being in hell his choice of interior design is ugly. If Alastor kind of doesn't go for the throat in all of Lucifer’s insecurities anymore, no one needs to acknowledge that.)
So, during the entire Heaven tour, Alastor is strongly in the "form a united front" boat. He can and WILL come out of the shadows for a sarcastic quip that simultaneously shuts them down AND makes Lucifer feel better.
(Alastor will NOT acknowledge the anger that goes through him at the idea of someone other than him picking at Lucifer, especially when they are CLEARLY trying to send him into a breakdown. How dare they. *cough* Anyway.)
So the whole ordeal winds up not as stressful as Lucifer was dreading, because somehow he has an antagonistic cannibal deer defending him the entire time. And Lucifer has no idea HOW that happened, but it does kind of make him feel better. (And Alastor's form of mocking him does, too, somehow.)
When they're alone, however, Alastor still picks at him so they can fight. (And Lucifer didn't notice until now how much FUN he has fighting with Alastor, and that Alastor insulting him makes him want to do better and prove him wrong, unlike his visiting family that makes him want to lock himself away for a decade.)
The tour ends, and Alastor and Lucifer go back to how they were before. (Sort of. Lucifer might be re-evaluating every interaction they've ever had and might send himself into a mild crisis.)
#hazbin hotel#radioapple#alastor#lucifer morningstar#duckiedeer#hazbin alastor#hazbin lucifer#fic#mine#long post#Alastor seeing someone else making fun of Lucifer: how DARE you thats MY job and youre not even DOING IT RIGHT get out of my hotel now
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soooo funny to think about how vox probably thinks he's alastor's Nr1 Enemy while alastor dislikes him in the way a cat would dislike a mouse. meanwhile alastor is busy foaming at the mouth over the king of hell (go big or go home) and doing a whole musical number pretending to care about charlie just because he knows it will rile him up. lucifer does hate him back dont get me wrong however luci doesnt have the capacity to hold a thought so when hes not directly looking at alastor he's too busy listening to the elevator music in his head to hate anyone. and so it goes in this beautiful ecosystem of dapperly dressed demons
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Okay, because I'm crazy I'm going to take discuss my favorite parts of new the new teaser
First off, Husk and Alastor, I'm so excited for their interactions. They both look amazing! And you can just tell their dynamic from the pilot has traveled over to the series. Can't wait to see them being friends and also Al annoying the shit out of Husk.
My baby boy is so beautiful. I'm so weirdly excited to see him dance, but I'm also kind of scared he will be hurt after this scene. I can't wait to hear who his new voice actor is cause I'm sure he does great!
Alastor doing the thing
Baby Charlie! She's so cute! Also I'm so excited to meet Lucifer and Lilith! It looks like Lucifer is going to have a musical number and I can't wait
Okay, this is really interesting. The overlords meeting to discuss the angels? With the x mark over the angel, it seems like they are planning a revolt of some kind. Of course, they would want to since they are tired of being killed off. This plot point is really cool, and I can't wait to see more of it.
The way I screamed. They are dancing together in a musical number like omg that's so darn cute. Husk being a romantic would be a huge plot twist, haha, but this was just so cute and I really hope these two dummies are canon
Can't wait to meet Vox and see his evil little schemes. Plus, his rivalry with Alastor looks hilarious, and I am all for it.
Group selfie!!! I love how Charlie and Niffty looks so happy and the guys just are unimpressed.
*screams*
And lastly, these two at the end of the trailer. I love Angel being a lovable asshole and I hope his relationship with Charlie flourishes into an awesome friendship. I'm so excited for this show, and it looks incredible.
#hazbin hotel#huskerdust#angel dust#husk#alastor#vaggie#charlie morningstar#vox#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel lilith#hazbin hotel trailer#A24#amazon prime#niffty#sir pentious#trailer analysis#vivziepop
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The Battle of Manhattan didn’t go the way the Fandom thinks it did; we need to address the “massacre” of the Titan Army!
The Battle of Manhattan is the most pivotal event of the first series. And we see the entire thing exclusively from Percy’s point of view. He takes us through the thickest of the fight from one end of Manhattan Island to the next, and shows us a desperate fight of good against evil.
But we have another point of view for the battle, one that comes from the demigods of the Titan army, and one that informs us of a far different, darker side to the conflict. One where an entire army of children is massacred by the victorious Olympians, without a thought or even a care. It’s a shocking, confronting side of the struggle that most fans don’t seem to be aware of.
But it’s also completely inaccurate.
Now I love Alabaster; he’s one of my favorite characters, and I want nothing but the best for him. But he’s a demonstrably unreliable narrator. I don’t even mean that he’s intentionally dishonest; but he’s very badly misinformed about what actually happened. And that gives the fandom three major misconceptions that need to be cleared up.
Alabaster gets the casualty ratio for the battle wrong (the Olympians had more than he thinks).
The Titan army has far fewer demigods than most fans think (not much more than 50 at the most).
Alabaster does say that there was a “massacre” at the end of the battle, but most of the TA demigods had deserted before that!
Part 1) The Olympians Have High Casualties
“It was a massacre. If I remember right, my mother told me that Camp Half-Blood and its allies had sixteen casualties total. We had hundreds.” (pg 219)
This is the only time we get a specific number for Olympian casualties, but it just doesn’t match up with what actually happens in the books. Looking back at all the deaths we do see:
Charlie Beckendorf -1
one [Hellhound] got hold of an Apollo camper and dragged him away. I didn’t see what happened to him next. I didn’t want to know. (pg 182) -1
Michael Yew -1
A young dragon had appeared in Harlem, and a dozen wood nymphs died before the monster was finally defeated. (pg 203) -12
“We lost twenty satyrs against some giants at Fort Washington,” [Grover] said, his voice trembling. (pg 203) -20 Giants smashed through trees, and naiads faded as their life sources were destroyed. (pg 243) -1< Enemy archers returned fire, and a Hunter fell from a high branch. (pg 244) -1 Too many of our friends lay wounded in the streets. Too many were missing. (pg 257) -1< The flagpoles were hung with horrible trophies –helmets and armor pieces from defeated campers. (pg 282) -1< The Drakon lashed out, swallowing three californian centaurs in one gulp before I could even get close. (pg 288) -3 Poison spewed everywhere, melting centaurs into dust along with quite a few monsters, (pg 288) -1< The Drakon snapped up one Ares camper in a gulp. (pg 291) -1
Silena Beauregard -1
Leneus -1
a body covered in the golden burial shroud of Apollo’s cabin. I didn’t know who was underneath. I don't want to find out. (pg 303) -1
Oddly enough, we actually miss the moment that was probably the worst for the Olympians, the final push by Kronos that breaks through their line. After Clarisse slays the drakon and the monsters are driven back again, Percy and co. take the opportunity to go up to Olympus. Percy gives Pandora’s Pithos to Hestia, and then contacts Poseidon via his throne. It’s just as he finishes that Thalia comes up and tells them that Kronos is coming again, but they miss the fighting.
By the time we got to the street, it was too late. Campers and Hunters lay wounded on the ground. Clarisse must have lost a fight with a Hyperborean giant, because she and her chariot were frozen in a block of ice. The centaurs were nowhere to be seen. Either they’d panicked and ran, or they’d been disintegrated. (pg 312) -<500
And finally, Kronos does kill some people on Olympus itself.
A few minor gods and nature spirits had tried to stop Kronos. What remained of them was strewn about the road: shattered armor, ripped clothing, swords and spears broken in half. (pg 322) -1<
The specific deaths we have mentioned during the battle amount to 48 at the very least; and that is an extremely conservative estimate that only includes the deaths Percy has the time and presence of mind to witness in all the carnage. Considering how many others must have happened, factoring the sudden disappearance of the 500 centaurs in particular, it was likely in the hundreds. And most of the centaurs probably ran at the end, but even that would have involved heavy casualties.
It’s true that actual demigods were a smaller fraction of Olympian forces, and so would have made up just a fraction of losses. The number 16 might actually make sense if it were just the number of campers lost, but that’s not what Hecate said, she said total.
It might be significant that Hecate is the actual source of this misinformation. Would she have reason to lie to her own son, or might she herself be out of the loop. Right now, we just can’t know.
And she might be underestimating Titan Army losses too. Considering how many times a wave of several hundred monsters tear into Manhattan, and get thrown back by the Olympians only to return later with no discernable drop in numbers, until the army is finally routed entirely, it wouldn’t surprise me if the TA actually took a thousand or more casualties. But those would be overwhelmingly monsters, because:
Part 2) Less Than Fifty Demigods Were Even In The Titan Army
To prove that there could not possibly have been hundreds of TA demigods killed at Manhattan, we need look no farther than Alabaster's own account.
“There was a war between the gods and titans last summer and most half-bloods–demigods like me–fought for the Olympians.” (pg 218)
So the TA could not have had more demigods than the Olympians; and they had about a hundred. There are forty campers to start with, who are quickly joined by the Hunters, who now have thirty members. Then, in the last hours of the fight, they are finally joined by the Ares cabin, which brings another thirty (jeez Ares, you animal!). So Olympus has an even hundred demigods. (The Hunters aren’t necessarily all demigods by birth, but I don’t think Alabaster would make a distinction based on that.)
So the TA has less than a hundred demigods, significantly less. I would argue they probably had no more than fifty because that lines up with the only solid numbers we ever get for them. And every time the TA is described, demigods are a clear minority. First, look at the foes Percy encounters when he infiltrates the Princess Andromeda:
I saw monsters patrolling the upper decks of the ship–dracaenae snake-women, hellhounds, giants, and the humanoid seal-demons known as telkhines . . . . . “I don’t care what your nose says!” snarled a half-human half-dog voice—a telkhine. “The last time you smelled half-blood, it turned out to be a meatloaf sandwich!” “Meatloaf sandwiches are good!” a second voice snarled . . . . . a telkhine was hunched over a console . . . . . a half dozen telkhines were tromping down the stairs . . . . . past another telkhine . . . . . And in the fountain squatted a giant crab . . . . . a couple of dracaenae slithered across my path . . . . . As I was running up the stairwell, a kid charged down . . . . . Laistrygonian giants filed in on either side of the swimming pool . . . . . demigod archers appeared on the roof . . . . . two hellhounds leapt down . . . . . The crowed of monsters parted . . . . . Giants jeered. Dracaenae hissed with laughter . . . . . throwing monsters off their feet . . . . .I knew him, of course: Ethan Nakamura . . . . . two giants lumbered forward . . . . . Panicked monsters surged backward . . . . . one of the dracaenae hissed . . . . . I pushed through a crowd of monsters . . . . . Monsters yelled at me from above.
That was a quick summary of all the enemies Percy and Charlie encounter on the Princess Andromeda, I’m not crazy enough to try and write the whole chapter. But it’s pretty clear there are only a few demigods amid dozens of monsters. We hear the same thing from Poseidon later, that “there were only a few demigod warriors aboard that ship”; we might question whether or not Poseidon is a trustworthy source, but the evidence does back him up.
When we finally get to the battle, the disparity of demigod numbers in the TA is again evident:
The bronze image showed Long Island Sound near La Guardia. A fleet of a dozen speed boats raced through the dark water toward Manhattan. Each boat was packed with demigods in full Greek armor. At the back of the lead boat, a purple banner emblazoned with a black scythe flapped in the night wind. I’d never seen that design before, but it wasn’t hard to figure out: the battle flag of Kronos. “Scan the perimeter of the island,” I said. “Quick.” Annabeth shifted the scene south to the harbor. A Staten Island Ferry was plowing through the waves near Ellis Island. The deck was crowded with dracaenae and a whole pack of hellhounds. Swimming in front of the ship was a pod of marine mammals. At first I thought they were dolphins. Then I saw their doglike faces and swords strapped to their waists, and I realized they were telkhines—sea demons. The scene shifted again: the Jersey shore, right at the entrance of the Lincoln Tunnel. A hundred assorted monsters were marching past the lanes of stopped traffic: giants with clubs, rogue Cyclopes, a few fire-spitting dragons, and just to rub it in, a World War II-era Sherman tank, pushing cars out of the way as it rumbled into the tunnel. (pg 167)
Here we see the first wave of the Titan Army as a three pronged attack (which Percy says on the next page collectively numbered at least 300) and only one of the units has demigods. It’s the one that Kronos leads, so it’s probably meant to be a more elite unit, at least at first.
We don’t know for sure how many there are. Speedboats are usually made to carry 4-6 people so a dozen would be possible 48 to 72. Considering Alabaster says there were significantly less demigods in the TA than the Olympians, I would guess it’s on the lower end; and that does match another number we see in a moment.
This fleet never reaches Manhattan, since Percy bribes the East River to swamp their boats. Those who say many TA demigods were killed in the battle might point to this as Percy causing a bunch of kids to drown; but Alabaster never mentions a mass drowning in his narrative of the battle, and he would have been on one of those boats, so it’s safe to say they just went for a swim.
(And Kronos was with them, which means that a very angry titan lord was suddenly pitched into the river and had to swim with the rest of them. That’s not really relevant, I just want everyone to know that.)
Percy is then immediately told that “Another army is marching over the Williamsburg bridge.” This fourth prong of the attack, led by the Minotaur, also has no demigods in it.
An entire phalanx of dracaenae marched in the lead . . . About a hundred more monsters marched behind them. (pg 182) More monsters surged forward —snakes and giants and telkines—but the Minotaur roared at them, and they backed off. (pg 186)
But more monsters keep advancing because by the time Percy kills the minotaur and the demigods charge and rout the whole group, it had grown to 200
Finally, the monsters turned and fled—about twenty left alive out of two hundred. (pg 188)
So the grand total for the first TA attack was 500 soldiers or more, with only 40-70 of them demigods. And after the monsters on the Williamsburg bridge retreat, those demigods show back up.
Then I saw the crowd at the base of the bridge. The retreating monsters were running straight toward their reinforcements. It was a small group, maybe thirty or forty demigods in battle armor, mounted on skeletal horses. One of them held a purple banner with the black scythe design. The lead horseman trotted forward. He took off his helm, and I recognized Kronos himself, his eyes like molten gold. (pg1 188)
This is the only time we get anywhere close to a specific number when TA demigods are concerned. It would have been the same group that was sunk in the East River, who then had to swim for Brooklynn; which is where they are now trying to take the Williamsburg bridge. This reinforces the idea that the number of demigods in the boats was only a little more than forty, since they would not have suffered more than a few injuries in the sinkings.
I’m going to come back to this moment later to demonstrate how Percy refrains from killing other demigods, even in his Achilles state, but the other important thing to note is that this is the last time Kronos organizes his demigods into a unit that he leads personally. After they fail to break through here, Kronos just has them take on a secondary role, and puts his faith in bigger and bigger monsters to lead the charge instead.
The Titan Army units on Long Island then spend the evening marching the long way around Manhattan (for some reason) because they make camp for the night in New Jersey, at Medusa’s old lair. Percy again describes demigods as the small minority.
Hundreds of tents and fires surrounded the property. Mostly I saw monsters, but there were some human mercenaries in combat fatigues and demigods in armor too. A purple-and-black banner hung outside the emporium, guarded by two huge blue Hyperboreans.
And this is only part of the Titan army, because there are more troops north of Manhattan.
“Tell my brother Hyperion to move our main force south into Central Park. The halfbloods will be in such disarray they will not be able to defend themselves.” (pg 237)
The army that marches into central park is bigger than the one camped in New Jersey. And it is made up exclusively of monsters.
At the north end of the reservoir, the enemy vanguard broke through the woods—a warrior in golden armor leading a battalion of Laistrygonian giants with huge bronze axes. Hundreds of other monsters poured out behind them. (pg 243)
There is not a single mention of a demigod. However they’re already joining the fight in other places.
When it flew above the rooftops, I could see fires here and there around the city. It looked like my friends were having a rough time. Kronos was attacking on several fronts. (pg 251)
After Percy kills the Clazmonian Sow, the momentum of the battle shifts. With his main force failing to deliver a knockout punch, Kronos has his remaining armies spread out to put equal pressure on the entire defensive line, and catch it in a massive envelopment.
Midtown was a war zone. We flew over little skirmishes everywhere. A giant was ripping up trees in Bryant Park while dryads pelted him with nuts. Outside the Waldorf Astoria, a bronze statue of Benjamin Franklin was whacking a hellhound with a rolled-up newspaper. A trio of Hephaestus campers fought a squad of dracaenae in the middle of Rockefeller Center . . . . . The hunters had set up a defensive line on 37th, just three blocks north of Olympus. To the east on Park Avenue, Jake Mason and some other Hephaestus campers were leading an army of statues against the enemy. To the west, the Demeter cabin and Grover’s nature spirits had turned Sixth Avenue into a jungle that was hampering a squadron of Kronos’s demigods . . . . . I spotted a familiar silver owl banner in the southeast corner of the fight, 33rd at the Park Avenue tunnel. Annabeth and two of her siblings were holding back a Hyperborean giant . . . . . The next hour was a blur. I fought like I’d never fought before—wading into legions of dracaenae, taking out dozens of telkines with every strike, destroying empousai and knocking out enemy demigods . . . . . At one point Grover was next to me, bonking snake women over the head with his cudgel. Then he disappeared in the crowd, and it was Thalia at my side, driving monsters back with the power of her magic shield. Mrs. O’Leary bounded out of nowhere, picked up a Laistrygonian giant in her mouth and flung him like a Frisbee. Annabeth used her invisibility cap to sneak behind enemy lines. Whenever a monster disintegrated for no apparent reason with a surprised look on his face, I knew Annabeth had been there . . . . . Kronos was riding towards us on a golden chariot. A dozen Laistrygonian giants bore torches before him. Two Hyperboreans carried his black-and-purple banners . . .
“THEN THE WINGED HUSSAARSSS AARRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVED” SABATON BLASTS ON ELECTRIC GUITAR
Sorry, sorry, I mean then Chiron and the 500 centaurs arrived!
Kronos’s forces looked as confused as we were. Giants lowered their clubs. Dracaenae hissed. Even Kronos’s honor guard looked uneasy. Then, to our left, a hundred monsters cried out at once. Kronos’s entire northern flank surged forward. I thought we were doomed, but they didn’t attack. They ran straight past us and crashed into their southern allies . . . a shower of arrows arced over our heads and slammed into the enemy, vaporizing hundreds of demons. (pg 258)
This is how the second phase of the battle ends. And during the entire night, out of a sea of monsters (hehe) we only see one unit of TA demigods. And it’s the last time we get any reference to them participating in the battle.
After being driven south, the TA apparently did another long march, because they make camp northeast of Manhattan.
The Titan army had set up camp all around the U.N. complex. The flagpoles were hung with horrible trophies—helmets and armor from defeated campers. All along First Avenue, giants sharpened their axes. Telkines repaired armor at makeshift forges. (pg 282)
Ethan is the only demigod mentioned this time. And he doesn’t appear to take part in the next attack, aside from releasing the drakon. We get less of a description of the enemy army this time, but it’s all monsters.
The rest of the battle wasn’t going well. The centaurs had panicked under the onslaught of giants and demons. An occasional orange camp T-shirt appeared in the sea of fighting, but quickly disappeared. (pg 289)
Of course the Ares cabin arrives, the drakon kills Silena, and Clarisse kills it. It’s another rout for the TA.
The monsters retreated toward 35th Street. (pg 298) There was no answer from the enemy. Slowly, they began to fall back behind a dracaenae shield wall, while Clarisse drove in circles around Fifth Avenue, daring anyone to cross her path. (pg 299)
After that we have the final phase of the battle, when the Titan Army finally breaks through the Olympian lines. But once again, we have no reference to demigods other than Ethan.
The Titan Army ringed the building, standing maybe twenty feet from the doors. Kronos’s vanguard was in the lead: Ethan Nakamura, the dracaenae queen in her green armor, and two Hyperboreans. I didn’t see Prometheus. (pg 312) “ROWWF!” Mrs. O’Leary bounded toward me, ignoring the growling monsters on either side. (pg 315) There were thousands of [skeletan soldiers], and as they emerged, the titan’s monsters got jumpy and started to back up. (pg 315) The armies of the dead clashed with the Titan’s monsters. Fifth Avenue exploded into absolute chaos. Mortals screamed and ran for cover. Demeter waved her hand and an entire column of giants turned into a wheat field. Persephone changed the dracaenae spears into sunflowers. Nico slashed and hacked his way through the enemy, trying to protect pedestrians as best as he could. My parents ran toward me , dodging monsters and zombies, but there was nothing I could do to help them. (pg 318).
The fight continues like this, until Typhon is destroyed, and the defenders are joined by the gods, and Poseidon’s army of cyclopes. It’s then that the Titan army is “massacred.” Most of the fandom thinks that the demigods were killed too, but that’s not the case.
PART 3: The TA Demigods Deserted Before The Final Battle
As Alabaster remembers it:
the war didn’t go our way. I fought on the battlefield against the enemy, but most of our allies ran. Kronos himself marched on Olympus, only to be killed by a son of Poseidon. After Kronos’s death, the Olympian gods smashed any remaining resistance. It was a massacre. “We weren’t all destroyed,” Alabaster said. “Most of the remaining half-bloods fled or were captured. They were so demoralized they joined the enemy. (pg 219)
When you look at this narrative, and compare it to The Last Olympian, it’s actually more complicated than the TA demigods simply getting massacred.
Al says that while he was fighting, most of his allies ran. That’s odd, because we don’t see the relative numbers of monsters go down at any point. What we do see, is the number of demigods go down.
As I illustrated in Part 2, the Battle of Manhattan has four distinct phases. Phase one, that ends when the Williamsburg Bridge is destroyed. The second phase, that starts when Hyperion attacks Central Park, and ends when the Party Ponies arrive. The third phase, which is all about the attack of the drakon. And the final phase, when Kronos breaks through.
We only see TA demigods in the first two phases; they attack the Williamsburg Bridge in the first phase as part of the Kronos’s main force, then in the second phase they’re relegated to a supporting role by hitting the defenders western flank. And that’s the last we see of them. After that, Etahn is the only demigod left standing in the TA. Alabaster must be somewhere in the background, as a retcon, but there’s no one beyond the two of them.
You might think that they’ve just already been killed by this point. After all, Percy blows up the Princess Andromeda, then goes into an Achilles Curse fueled berserker mode several times in the first two phases of the battle. Surely he must have killed hundreds of kids, right?
No, not even close.
Maybe not any at all.
On the Princess Andromeda Percy finds lots of monsters, but the number of demigods he finds could be counted on one hand. And the first one he meets; Percy spares him and tells him to get his friends and evacuate. We can’t prove whether or not any demigods were killed in the blast; we just know that the two we can confirm were still on board, Ethan and Alabaster, both survived. And when Alabaster recounts it, he doesn’t mention any bad losses at this point.
As for the Curse of Achilles, it doesn’t send Percy into anything like the berserker state some people think of it as. It might seem like that when Percy lets loose on the Williamsburg Bridge:
You’re going to ask how the whole “invincible” thing worked: if I magically dodged every weapon, or if the weapon hit me and just didn’t harm me. Honestly, I don’t remember. All I knew was that I wasn’t going to let these monsters invade my hometown. I sliced through armor like it was made of paper. Snake women exploded. Hellhounds melted to shadow. I slashed and stabbed and whirled, and I might have even laughed once or twice—a crazy laugh that scared me as much as it did my enemies. (pg 188)
But when push comes to shove, Percy can control the Curse, and what he does during it. That last moment was when he was fighting nothing but monsters. But when the TA demigods arrived, Percy pulled his punches like he always does.
I tried to wound his men, not kill. That slowed me down, but these weren’t monsters. They were demigods who’d fallen under Kronos’s spell. I couldn’t see faces under their helmets, but some of them had probably been my friends. I slashed the legs off their horses and made the skeletal mounts disintegrate. After the first few demigods took a spill, the rest figured out they’d better dismount and fight me on foot. (pg 189)
Percy is still in complete control of what he’s doing; even when the worst happens.
“Annabeth!” I turned in time to see her fall, clutching her arm. A demigod with a bloody knife stood over her . . . . . I locked eyes with the enemy demigod. He wore an eye patch under his helmet: Ethan Nakamura, the son of Nemesis. Somehow he’d survived the explosion on the Princess Andromeda. I slammed him in the face with my sword hilt so hard I dented his helm. (pg 190)
Percy really has all the reason to hate Ethan at this point; after Percy spared his life in Antaeus’ arena, Ethan still joined the side that had been ready to write off his death, and deliberately helped Kronos achieve his physical resurrection. Because of that Percy’s friends and even-Riordan-doesn’t-know how many mortals are going to die in the next few days; and on top of all that, Ethan just stabbed the love of his life.
And all Percy does is knock him out, maybe a little harder than necessary. He makes no effort to kill him. Those aren’t the actions of a berserker with no control.
In fact, the knife turns out to be poisonsed. And Ethan now has an idea where Percy’s Achilles Spot is, and might tell Kronos. And even after all of that, Percy doesn’t seriously think about killing him as an option.
“I’ll bonk him on the head harder next time.” (pg 241)
But more on topic, there is no reason to think the TA demigods have particularly high casualties in this phase of the battle, though they have a few:
Our archers shot a volley, bringing down several of the enemy, but they just kept riding. (pg 189)
Though it’s vague if they are hitting the riders or the horses. In fact, it might actually be Kronos who’s responsible for more of their losses.
[Kronos] struck the bridge with the butt of his scythe, and a wave of pure force blasted me backward. Cars went careening. Demigods—even Luke’s own men—were blown off the edge of the bridge. (pg 192)
I will die on the hill that between this, Ethan, and other implied moments, Kronos killed more of his own demigods than Percy did.
In the second phase of the battle, when we see the TA demigods attack again, they’re in a very different situation.
To the west, the Demeter cabin and Grover’s nature spirits had turned Sixth Avenue into a jungle that was hampering a squadron of Kronos’s demigods. (pg 255)
This is the only thing we see the TA demigods do as a group in this phase; and they’re fighting people who are using very defensive tactics, more hampering than harmful. They’re not likely to lose many fighters. A few of them do cross Percy’s path in the chaos, but even at his most Achilles fueled chaos he never loses control.
The next hour was a blur. I fought like I’d never fought before—wading into legions of dracaenae, taking out dozens of telkines with every strike, destroying empousai and knocking out enemy demigods. (pg 257)
He talks about killing monsters, but always “knocking out” demigods. Finally, that phase of the battle ends when the centaurs show up. Did the centaurs kill any demigods? After all, Percy said they “trampled everything in their path.”
Well the only report we get on the TA demigods puts them to the west. When the centaurs attack, they come out of the north east and drive the enemy south, and start off a wave of panic that ripples down the enemy lines ahead of them. The demigods were probably running before any centaur reached them, and might have had better chances of being trampled by their own monsters.
So if the TA demigods aren’t taking many losses, where do they all go in the third and fourth phases, when we don’t see any except Ethan?
They desert.
Alabaster: “I fought on the battlefield against the enemy, but most of our allies ran.”
I think the demigods of the TA signed up with no real idea of what would happen when they fought the Olympians. They thought they were going to have a sure victory.
Chris Rodriguez said it in SOM:
“I hear they got two more [drakon] coming,” [Chris] said. “They keep arriving at this rate, oh, man—no contest!” (pg 122)
Alabaster C. Torrington said it in SOM:
“Kronos wasn’t supposed to lose! You said the odds of winning were in the Titan’s favor! You told me Camp Half-Blood would be destroyed!” (pg 196)
And they probably weren’t well prepared for the war either. At one point Luke says they will fight well because he has been training the army. But most of them join because they are the children of minor gods who swear for Kronos, and that doesn’t happen until the end of BOTL, after Luke has been possessed. Most of the TA demigods never got training from him; including their two highest ranking members, Ethan and Alabaster. It’s no wonder most of them weren’t prepared.
As I was running up the stairwell, a kid charged down. He looked like he had just woken up from a nap. His armor was half on. He drew his sword and yelled, “Kronos!” but he sounded more scared than angry . . . . No way was I going to hurt him. I didn’t need a weapon for this. I stepped inside his strike and grabbed his wrist, slamming it against the wall. His sword clattered out of his hand. (pg 18)
And the demigods might not hold much loyalty to Kronos, a violent and temperamental eldritch horror!
Ethan moistened his lips. “He’s still fighting you, isn’t he? Luke—” “Nonesense,” Kronos spat. “Repeat that lie, and I will cut out your tongue. The boy’s soul has been crushed.” (pg 236) “But, my lord,” Ethan said. “Your regeneration.” Kronos pointed at Ethan, and the demigod froze. “Does it seem,” Kronos hissed. “that I need to regenerate?” Ethan didn’t respond. Kind of hard to do when you’re immobilized in time. Kronos snapped his fingers and Ethan collapsed. (pg 284)
And the demigods might have witnessed a darker side to his army that we didn’t.
Back on my first visit to the Princess Andromeda, my old enemy Luke had kept dazed tourists on board for show, shrouded in Mist so they didn’t realize they were on a monster infested ship. Now i didn’t see any sign of tourists. I hated to think what had happened to them, but I kind of doubted they’d been allowed to go home with their bingo winnings. (pg 15)
So, the demigods deserted. After the second phase of the battle we don’t see any at the Titan camp at the U.N., or taking any part in the last phases of the battle. They had been fed false promises, were treated badly, and were being sent against enemies out of their league.
“Most of the remaining half-bloods fled or were captured. They were so demoralized they joined the enemy.”
All except two, Alabaster and Ethan. The son of Nemesis, who has already given so much and is so desperate to see something good and fair come out of it; and the son of Hecate, who was promised victory, and is desperate to avenge the death of his siblings. Ironically, the two demigods who stayed loyal to Kronos the longest, did so because they had faith in their godly parents.
So if there was no “massacre” of TA demigods at the end of the Battle of Manhattan, why is Alabaster so insistent that there was one?
“Yes,” Alabaster said bitterly. “Camp Half-Blood decided that they would accept any children of the minor gods. They would build us cabins at camp and pretend that they didn’t just blindly massacre us for resisting. (pg 220) “But I’ll never bow to the Olympian gods after the atrocities they committed. Their followers are blind. I’d never set foot in their camp, and if I did, it would only be to give that son of Poseidon what he deserves.” (pg 221)
Well, it’s because the children of Hecate suffered the most in the war. She didn’t have as many children as other gods, and Alabaster was the only one to fight in it and survive. He claims he convinced “most” of his siblings to join; but if Hecate does not have many children, and he is the only survivor of the battle, how are there still enough of his siblings to decently fill a cabin, it’s likely “most” was only slightly more than half. The sad irony is that the fact that the smaller group of demigods had more casualties than the larger ones (and it sounds like not just more proportionately, but more in actual numbers), also kind of disproves that there could have been a large massacre that affected them all.
Alabaster was a scared, frustrated, exhausted kid; who convinced his siblings to fight in a destructive war, and was the only one of them to survive. To him, that is probably always going to feel like a brutal massacre.
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