#but 99% of bees do NOT fuck

[abluehappyface]

I should be in bed but why is the main euphemism for sex "the birds and the bees" when like 99% of bees don't fuck

[mrmeepsmadmind]

idw bumblebee and prowl shouldve broke up bcs he wouldnt stop 𝚊sking prowl to pause his report for just one lil astrosec so he can change his various pastel colored pens while making his cute little aesthetically pretty for no reason & very time - consuming notes with big colorful fonts & cute designs real quick

also another thought abt annoying ass bb trying to make running a literal planet cotteque so he doesn't go crazy bcs hes now a politician when all he ever wanted was to deliver mail & smile & wave at bots who call him cute ---

bee: 𝚠heeljack, im so sorry about this but do you mind repeating the time-stakingly long introduction, instruments, research references, modules, hypothesis, counter thesis, procedures, analysis, second - retrial, results, & explanation that you just spent 700000 earth hours saying because i was busy drawing a cute little bee in the corner of my notes please :] ?

wheeljack:

idw bee trying to run a planet that fucking hates him is just rlly funny to me, especially since everyone views bee as the goody character who everyone loves & he views himself as that & then they finally win this consuming war & he can reap his rewards of being loved without holding a gun & no one fucking likes him. hes even getting on his own old team's nerves & not in the loveable scamp way but the get the fuck out of my face way

[cult-of-husbandos]

yami ai [yandere] - Hot Yandere Singles Near You

synopsis: you click on a random pop-up ad and are visited by weird smiling man in suit.

genre: pure crack (like fr), fluff, tbh there's not really a plot

word count: 4.4k

warnings: implied stalking

Isn’t insomnia just the worst? Like, seriously? What’s the point of being a human being with antiquated thoughts and impressive cognitive and motor skills when your brain fights you on the most basic stuff. For example, like sleeping!!

You must’ve refreshed YouTube and Twitter over a thousand times. Over 8 billion people in the world and there’s no new content anywhere? You groaned and jumped back over onto Twitter, silently praying and pleading for something new to show up on your feed. Maybe a wacky billionaire got eaten by a mob of homeless people or maybe a news article about a Floridian doing something gross and outrageous and virtually impossible.

But nope. Nothing.

Not a single thing piqued your interest. You groaned again and looked at the time on your dimly lit phone. It was past 2 a.m. and you were bored out of your mind. You then lazily clicked on Google and sighed.

‘Maybe someone posted a new fanfic over something…’ you hoped. And even if there wasn’t a new fic uploaded you’ll just read the old ones you favorited. Perhaps reading something might put you to sleep.

As you were scrolling through your favorite ship tags, you were startled by a pop up ad covering up 90% of the screen and flashing emojis.

“Ugh… seriously?” you groaned. “They should make ad-blockers on phones for this shit.” You squinted at the bright lettering emanating from your phone even though it was at the lowest brightness setting.

⚠️(99+) Hot Yandere Singles NEAR YOU⚠️

Yandere’s…? Singles? Near me?

The pop-up ad had flashing peach, cherry, and eggplant emojis with a water splash emoji at the end to signify… well, you’re not sure what it was trying to signify. On the sides of the ad, it showed pictures of very gorgeous men and women, all striking suggestive poses. Underneath the title was a small summary that read. ‘These lonely desperate yanderes wanna meet you! They’ll most likely find you anyway, but wouldn’t you rather be the honey to a bee instead of a fly? Try it NOW for FREE!! No hookups! No catfishes! No sign ups!’ Then below that were a few empty boxes to fill out requiring your personal information.

"..."

Was this a porn ad?!

No way at 2:45 in the freaking morning did you just get a porn pop-up ad while googling mafia au fanfiction. This has to be some kind of joke. Maybe it was prank and someone was just fucking with you. And how and why would there be 99+ yanderes in your area?! You couldn’t be surrounded by that many psychos. Could you? Whatever the case may be, it was now past 2 a.m. and as the rule of life states ‘Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.’. You don’t know if it was the lack of sleep or just reckless curiosity, but you gave your shoulders a shrug and mumbled a ‘fuck it’ as you put in your information. Your name, number, gender, age, preferred sex, email, and mailing address. As you clicked submit and continued scrolling, you gave very little thought about how this would go down.

On one hand, the ad turns out to be real and you get a partner out of this. Or

You get quartered, stalked, doxxed, and murdered like the dumbass you are for putting your personal info into a sketchy porno-like pop-up on Google.

Or, it turns out to be a prank and some asshole sitting in a basement has a good laugh at you.

Meh. You’ll deal with it in the morning.

*****

You were jolted awake with the sound of rapid knocking coming from your front door. You groaned into your pillow as you tried to ignore the person desperately wanting your attention from outside your apartment. You finally got some sleep only for it to get interrupted. Only minutes and minutes of continued knocking without any signs of letting up, you decide to get up and shoo away whoever it was. You wearily grabbed your phone to check the time.

8:02 a.m.

You huffed as you stormed towards the front door.

“If this a fucking Jehova’s Witness, I swear to god…” you grumbled. You swung open the door and threw the person a harsh glare, only to be met with popping sounds as confetti flew in your face.

“Good morning, my dear darling~!! Are you ready to begin on the road to happiness and love?” the stranger shouted a far too happy tone for 8 in the morning.

You took a step back in shock, fully awake as you waved and dusted the confetti from your face and hair. You looked the strange man up and down. He was smiling ear to ear and wore an expensive looking suit to warm for the summer weather. A briefcase stood right beside him along with dozens of other party poppers and a white plastic bag filled with brown bottles with oddly enough no labels on them. You looked at the man’s face. He was surprisingly attractive and without a single flaw anywhere. His hair was jet black and shined a very prominent gloss. You were honestly kind of embarrassed to be seen by him when you looked like such a mess. The man let out a chuckle.

“Oh my.” he said, gently putting his hand over his mouth with vague concern. “I hope I didn’t startle you too much. I probably should’ve sent you an email notifying you of the time I was coming. I’m sorry that must’ve been a troubling awakening.”

You quirked your eyebrow and took another step back, grabbing onto the doorknob so that you could slam it right in his face if things got too weird.

“And… you are?”

“Oh my, oh my. Where are my manners? How careless of me to assume.” The man bowed with a curtsy. “I am the ‘Matchmaker’. My job is to pair two people with their fated soulmate and give each of my clients their happily ever after. It’s very nice to meet you, (Y/N) (L/N).”

You felt a chill crawl down your spine. How’d this weirdo know your name?! You tried to close the door as fast as you could, but the ‘Matchmaker’ was even faster. He clicked his tongue at you, his smile unchanging, but his eyes seemed to harden his gentle tone.

“My, how rude. Is that any way to treat a guest?” He let out another chuckle. “You’ll never find love that way.”

“H-How did you know my name?” you stuttered.

Again, another chuckle. What was so funny? “My dear~. You gave it to me.”

What the hell was he talking about? How could you have given this creep your name? Was he a stalker? A junkie? Noticing the confusion on your face, the man spoke up again.

“Oh my dear. Do you really not remember?” he asked, tilting his head in feign innocence. “You filled out an ad to meet singles in your area. And here I am, coming to fulfill that ad.”

You eased up on the tension you had on the door and tilted your head in surprised confusion. “That was a real ad?”

The man stood up tall and smiled earnestly again. “Of course. However, you are the first person to actually fill out that ad. Really, this is more of a celebration to both of us.”

Huh, so the pop-up ad was real.

Not a prank.

And now there’s a psycho standing at your front door promising you a partner from an actual yandere.

“I honestly thought it was a prank. I mean… yanderes? Isn’t that just an anime thing?”

“Oh, I assure you my darling.” he said with a snide smirk. “Yanderes are real. And when they heard about signing up, it was like tossing chicken in a sea of alligators. All clamoring to be the first person to take a bite.”

Okay, gross but kind of sweet.

“May I come in?”

“Huh?”

“Well, my dear. It would be easier to come in and talk through the process of how this goes instead of standing here.”

“Oh, um… Suuuree-”

“Great! My my darling~. What a lovely home. Very well decorated.” The man quickly strided into your house and made himself comfortable in your living room, looking as if he was analyzing every detail about your house.

Richard Chase would’ve loved your dumbass.

You shut the door and followed him into your own apartment and offered him a seat on your couch. Might as well, right? You’ve gone this far and you're still alive.

“Umm…” you hesitantly shifted from one foot to another. “Do you… um… want some coffee maybe? Or tea? Maybe a glass of water? If you haven;t eaten breakfast yet, I whip you up something.”

Yeah, sure. Feed the man with only a title for a name and waltzed right into your house after showing up after you put in your personal information into a random pop-up ad at 3 a.m. promising you a happy life with hot single yanderes in your area. You are the pinnacle of human genius. The apex of natural selection. The creme de la creme of common sense. Charles Darwin would be so impressed.

“How thoughtful. Just coffee would be fine. Thank you.”

After brewing a quick pot, you sat across from the man facing him heads on and gently slid him his steaming cup. After a while of taking little sips in weird silence, he spoke up again.

“Before we continue, I’d just like to say: Thank you so much for applying for this wonderful opportunity!! Not many people would click on an ad requiring doxxing information to meet their soulmates! Again, congrats on being our number one willing client!”

“Willing client?” you asked.

“Well, of course! For some reason, humans seem to really love the idea of a yandere until there’s one standing on their front porch!” he laughed.

“Humans? I’m sorry. Are you not human, Mr…?”

“Ah ah! No need for formalities! Just ‘The Matchmaker’ or simply ‘Matchmaker’.

“Oh, so… you don’t have a true name? Or is that just a title?”

“Oh darling~.” he sang sweetly. “That’s none of anyone’s fucking business, is it?”

Your eyes widened and let out a nervous chuckle. “Okay, got it! Just Matchmaker. Lovely name. Adore it. In fact, I love when strange mysterious men only give a title for a name.” What the hell does that even mean? You had no idea what you were saying anymore.

“Heh, smart cookie.” He winked. “Shall we begin?”

“Um, yeah, so… how does this work exactly?” you finally asked.

“Simple, my dear darling. Think of this as an ordinary matchmaking appointment. I have a stack of potential soulmates all ready to meet you. I have the same information about them that I also have of you. Each potential soulmate also has a picture so if you don’t really feel up to meeting face-to-face just yet you can look over the picture and see who captures your heart.”

“Face-to-face? So these guys have my picture too?” “Of course! And might I say, those pictures don’t do you justice. In all my years in this business, I’ve never seen such an obsession and overload of potential soulmates for just one person.”

You lightly blushed. “I-I don’t know about that… I barely got any sleep last night so I probably look like a zombie right now…”

“Au contraire, Darling. You look absolutely stunning. If I weren’t such a professional I would burn all these forms and claim you as my one and only~.”

You felt your entire face flush red as the Matchmaker pierced your soul with his longing gaze. It felt like he was staring into your very essence – like he could read you like a book. You nervously cleared your throat and shifted your eyes away, hoping to bring down your blush.

“S-So! Um… should we get started?” you stuttered, internally kicking yourself for being so easily flustered by a couple of smooth words. Ted Bundy would’ve had a field day with your dumbass.

“Ready whenever you are, my dear.” The Matchmaker set his briefcase on your coffee table and pulled out a single form and slid it over towards you. “Let’s start off with an easy one.”

You looked at the form along with the picture of a very attractive man paperclipped to the paper. According to the form, his name is Hamazawa Akita. He was in his early 20’s, had a varying array of hobbies from hiking to scuba diving, and was very much in love with you.

“Well, what do you think?”

“Hm, well, he’s very cute. And very active.”

“Would you like to meet him?”

“Um, sure… is there a number I could call or…?”

“No need! We can bring him in right now.” The Matchmaker snapped his fingers and you whipped your head towards the front door where Akita strolled in, all smiles. You looked back over the Matchmaker. “Did I not lock my door? Wait. More importantly, how’d he get here?!”

The Matchmaker smiled. “My dear, when you’re in this business you pick up a few tricks.” He then turned his attention towards Akita who now stood in the middle of the living room. “No. 1 would you like to introduce yourself?”

Akita stood tall and his eyes seemed to beam directly at you. “My name is Hamazawa Akita. Ever since I saw your picture I’ve dreamed about sweeping you off your feet and claiming you all to myself!”

“So, like 8 hours ago?”

“Yes!! But those hours feel like years when being away from you.”

“Hmm.”

“So, what do you think? Are you feeling the butterflies?”

You looked up Akita up and down and your face twisted as if you’re deciding on whether or not to buy a car or a piece of clothing.

“Um, to be honest my guy. I’m not feeling it.”

“Huh?”

“Excuse me, my darling?”

“Weeeelllll…. I mean, don’t get me wrong! You’re very attractive and your words are sweet, but I don’t think I believe any of it. Like, you just admitted to wanting me all to yourself only 8 hours ago, but I don’t really feel anything. Not even a shiver.”

The Matchmaker and Akita both looked at each other like they weren’t really expecting that. With a quick wave of his hand, Akita slumped his shoulders and headed towards your front door. You shouted out an apology as the dejected suitor walked out.

“Well, I didn’t expect that. I don’t normally get such competent clients. At least those that get past kicking and screaming.” The Matchmaker grinned. You shrugged.

“I guess I just know what I like. All the anime I’ve watched kind of gives you that high standard of what makes a yandere a real yandere, y’know?”

He nodded. “I cannot agree more. Well, we have plenty more where that came from. Shall we continue?”

*****

Papers were strewn across your coffee table in an unorganized fashion as both you and your estranged guest were tired beyond belief. You had no idea how many hours had passed nor how many guests were in and out of your apartment. You’re honestly surprised none of your neighbors complained or called the police. Your apartment would’ve looked like a clown car if anyone had been watching from the outside. You honestly lost count after No. 256. You let out another yawn and laid on your side trying your best to keep your eyes open. Maybe 2 hours of sleep wasn’t enough for the multiple interviews you had to conduct today. Maybe your 9th grade biology teacher was right. Maybe you are going to die alone. A weary sigh brought you from your thoughts.

“My, my. You are definitely the most high standard client I’ve ever had. I didn’t think we’d get to the triple digits in just one day.”

You also sighed and sat up in your seat. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just… All these guys are cute and all, but they’re all lacking something. They’re either too forceful or not forceful enough. Too wimpy or too strong. Or too obsessed or just incredibly so lovesick that I feel like they’d fall in love with just about anyone who’d be willing. Ugh, why can’t this be simpler like adopting an animal?” You groaned. You also hadn’t thought this would take this long. You didn’t really think of yourself as having high standards until today. Until today, you’d be happy with anyone close to you in age and with a heartbeat. Who knew picking out a yandere soulmate would be so challenging. And who knew that there’d be so many willing participants! The Matchmaker reached into his briefcase and pulled another stack of forms and slid them over to you. There must be at least over a hundred papers in front of you. How did he have so many?!

“How about we switch things up, hm? You’ll look over the papers and when you see someone that catches your eye, I’ll bring him in.” He made it sound like you were adopting a dog or a cat. But if this made it go any faster, you were willing to try.

After about 3 more stacks of papers, you were starting to lose hope and patience. When you got to the last few papers, you stopped dead in your tracks. Woah baby!

“Woah baby!” you exclaimed.

“Did you find someone you like?” The Matchmaker asked hopefully.

“Oh yeah. This guy.” You showed him the paper. He furrowed his brows a little.

“Are you sure? I don’t think I remember this man. His name and face don’t seem familiar.”

“Really? Maybe he’s a late entry or something?”

Matchmaker stroked his chin in thought. “I’ll go check it out. Be right back, dear. I’m very sorry for this inconvenience.”

You waved off his apology with a smile and he left your apartment. You then leaned back with a groan. You just wanted to find your ‘soulmate’ or whatever and move on with this day. You closed your eyes for a second and waited patiently for Matchmaker to come back.

Tap tap tap

Just like deja vu, you were awoken by rapid knocking. Except this time it wasn’t coming from your front door.

Tap tap tap tap

It sounds like it’s coming from… your window?

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap

You quickly got up and walked towards your window and opened it.

“Woah!” You jumped back a little as you were met face to face with the man that you had picked out and that the Matchmaker went to go find.

‘Wow… he’s even cuter in person!!’

He let out a delicious chuckle and gave you a charming smile.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, darling~. Hehe, though I think that fear in your eyes was worth it. So adorable~.” For the second time today, a complete weirdo stranger has made you blush. Wait…

“Wait! I don’t have a balcony and I’m on the third floor. How’d you-?” You peeked over the window to see if he was pulling a Criss Angel.

“I have incredible grip strength~.” he winked.

“Oooh I’m sure~.” you swooned. For a weirdo, he was a smooth talking weirdo.

“Oh, I got these for you, sweetheart~.” He pulled himself up and sat on your windowsill and pulled out a bouquet of roughly cut flowers from behind him. You gasped and grabbed them, giving them a smell.

“These are my favorite!! How did you know? I don’t think that was one of the pieces of info required for the Matchmaker.” you asked.

The stranger chuckled. “Easy. I never filled out that stupid application.”

You looked up from your flowers and titled your head like a confused puppy.

“I already know everything about you. I don’t need a stupid piece of paper to tell me what I already know about you. Like, how I know that you have secret sweets hidden all throughout your room. Or that whenever you have a good day you love to sing Stray Kids.”

He inched closer to you as you backed up further into the room.

“You won’t eat frozen pizza, but every so often you eat a lobster roll from a food truck from Gary on Main St.. You have life destroying evidence of your boss that you’re planning on using on your last day. You’ve seen the Barbie movie 5 times. And…”

You felt your legs hit the couch and tried to keep yourself from falling onto your back like a defenseless turtle.

“Your favorite anime is… Dar-” You quickly covered the stranger’s mouth with a furious blush.

“I only watch it ironically!! I don’t love it! It’s not my favorite!” you quickly clarified. The gravity of the situation was made perfectly clear after that. This man really knew all about you. Honestly, you’re so loud that you’re pretty sure that people on the ground outside could hear you singing. And you don’t really pay attention to your surroundings so it's easy for someone to know that you eat from a food truck every other week at specific times. But, knowing your favorite secretly watched anime?

“W-Who… are you?” you stuttered. You’re pretty sure you already knew the answer.

He laughed and you felt his lips brush against your fingers. You blushed and tried to pull back, only to be stopped by his hands.

“Sweetie~. You already know who I am.” He grabbed the paper from the stack and put it next to his face. “See? I’m Yami Ai. Your soulmate.”

Before you could even process what was happening, you were gently pushed onto the couch with Yami hovering over you holding your hands beside your head. You couldn’t stop the blush erupting from your neck to your face. Your heart was beating way too fast and your stomach felt jumpy and queasy. Butterflies.

You cleared your throat. “Um… so, if you didn’t fill out a form then how come The Matchmaker had your profile and picture? And why didn’t you use the front door?”

Yami smirked and leaned in closer. “It’s pretty simple to pull off when your apartment does security checks on new guests entering the building.”

“But, my apartment doesn’t–” you stopped. “Ooooh… So you impersonated a security guard, slipped your profile and info into his briefcase, and were planning on showing up as one of the potential singles? That’s… convoluted. But, smart.” You shrugged. “And since you obviously knew which floor I was on and which window was mine, I assume you’ve been watching me for a while and were watching me last night when I couldn’t sleep?”

Yami laughed again. “You are so smart~. You really catch on quickly, don’t you?”

You shrugged again with a nervous smile. “W-Well, obviously not smart enough to not put in my personal info and have strange men come in and out of my apartment.”

Yami was quick to turn his gentle smile into a hard, harsh frown. His grip on your wrists grew tighter and you winced under the force he placed in you.

“You know, my darling. It’s partially my fault. If I hadn’t backed out and taken you that night, you’d never be in this situation. With those men eyeing you up and down like you were theirs. Having that smiling freak calling you ‘dear’ and ‘darling’ when only I can call you that. I was planning on getting rid of the competition, but you did that for me.”

Yami loosened his grip and lifted you up, staring into your eyes. You blushed again.

“Rejection after rejection. Some guys didn’t even get 2 words out before you turned away. Of course my darling would only want the most perfect man. Isn’t that right, darling~?”

“Hehehe~” you leaned in with a giggle. “You’re so sweet~.”

You are such a baby for flattery.

*****

“My dear darling, I’m so very sorry for the inconvenience. I didn’t mean to be gone for so long, but I could not find this person you–” Matchmaker explained, rushing in and stopping dead in his tracks when he saw both you and Yami, the man who left 30 minutes ago to go find, eating breakfast in the living room.

Sitting in his lap.

And feeding each other.

“Oh! Matchmaker!” you exclaimed, quickly swallowing your food. You didn’t notice Yami tightening his grip on your waist nor did you notice the cold glare and tense atmosphere enveloping the room. “Look who I found~.”

“I see…” he said hesitantly.

“He climbed up the building and came in through the window.”

“My~. How romantic~.” he sang. “So, I take it that you are satisfied with your soulmate? Or… do you wish to continue searching?” he asked teasingly. Before Yami could say anything, you quickly spoke again.

“Yep! I’m sure.” You ruffled Yami’s hair and nuzzled up against him. “I wouldn’t trade him for anyone else.” Yami hugged you closer to his chest as you giggled. “Plus, he makes the most amazing breakfast in the world, so extra points!” you cheered. You reached out towards the Matchmaker’s briefcase.

“Here you go! I put all the papers back in for you.”

Matchmaker quickly walked over and grabbed his briefcase along with your hand. “Well, my dear. It’s been an honor. You are truly the most remarkable and memorable client I have ever had.” he said with a bow and made his way towards the door. However, before leaving he chuckled and looked back at the both of you. “Although, it’s a shame,” he sighed. “Maybe if I had stayed, I would’ve snatched you up myself.”

And with a final loud laugh, The Matchmaker disappeared, but not before Yami stood up to lounge and attack the fleeting man like a guard dog. You snorted and caressed his face to calm him down. “Relax, Yami. He’s just joking.”

“Well, I hated his joke. Fuckin’ freak…” he grumbled. “And it’s Ai. You’re mine now. You should get used to calling each other by our first names.”

You smiled and leaned against him. “Okay, Ai. Whatever you say.”

“And if a man comes to the door, never EVER answer it, got it!”

“Mhm.”

“I’m serious, darling. I’ll gouge their eyes out right in front of you.”

“Yes sir.”

The rest of your life was going to be very interesting. Suck it, Ms. Braxton. I guess you’re the one dying alone. Because you have a yandere boyfriend! And she has gonorrhea. Bitch.

---

a/n: this is so shit. i'm so sorry that i've been MIA for a while. work has been pretty crazy and i haven't really felt much motivated to write. however, i'm trying to get back into it now. with this goofy shit. kind of a joke piece, but i needed to write something silly and not serious at all to relax. (also i've been writing since 4 a.m., so...) anyways, i'm going to try and update regulary or at least post something.

Here's my YouTube. I make anime playlists.

[hadesisqueer]

What's your favorite fight in the show?

In RWBY? RWBY vs Ace Ops, no doubt. It's just amazing and it shows how smart team RWBY is and how that gets them the win rather than just going with strength/skill. Like the factors:

The taunting: Harriet and Elm are the clearly the most emotional members of the Ace Ops and very quick to anger, something that Ruby and Yang take into consideration and both of them provoke them with words, which makes the other two act without thinking. “We're the best Huntsmen in Atlas”, “You were, then you trained us” specifically was not only badass but also a genius response from Ruby's part. She then gets to run away and make sure Harriet for sure follows her, driving her away from their teams, which is the smartest move considering she's the only one who could handle Harriet's speed for a while. She then mostly proceeds to stay on the defense rather than straight up fighting her, and lets Harriet tire herself out.

Yang and Blake's team work: The Bees take on the Trees (lmao). At first it doesn't go well, trying to 1v1 and all, but they're both smart enough to see one clear thing: Vine and Elm, rather than working with each other, they keep disagreeing and arguing with each other. So, Blake and Yang decide to do the opposite: work together. 2v1. Take one out first and then the other one. And boy does it work, because the moment Vine is out the other Ace Ops are like "oh, shit" and they realize they're fighting Huntresses, and that they're not playing around. And that sets the tone for the rest of the fight. Then Elm falls hard too lmao.

Weiss VS Marrow: Marrow's semblance is very OP, but it works only on one direction at a time. Which means that the moment they left him against Weiss, the poor guy —who didn't even want to fight and was holding back— was already kind of fucked, because she happened to be the one RWBY member that could fully counteract his semblance with her own. Weiss simply pulled a Freezerburn on her own, creating mist that gave her time to summon (showing how much she'd grown from her fight against Vernal). Then she kept her Arma Gigas and herself and opposite sides. Marrow uses Stay on her? Arma Gigas will attack him. Marrow uses Stay on Arma Gigas? Weiss is free, now she can attack him. She turned the 1v1 into a 2v1, and considering Marrow really didn't wanna fight her or hurt her, it was clear he was going to lose the moment they left him with her.

Weiss and Ruby's team work: Ruby showed up to assist Weiss against Marrow. Instead of choosing to work against them together, Marrow and Harriet argue and disagree with each other, and then Ruby runs and drives Harriet away again in anger. Then, after Weiss has dealt with Marrow, she's the one that shows up to help Ruby again, and kind of takes Harriet out-- well, really, Harriet took herself out, but you know what I mean here. Despite fighting Marrow and Harriet separately (99% on purpose, they were definitely keeping them apart intentionally), Ruby and Weiss were still working together. Harriet and Marrow weren't, because Hare was too blinded by her rage to even consider collaborating with Marrow. Again, the taunting worked.

In any case, genius fight. Team RWBY won not for skills or because they were stronger. They won by using their brains and working together and proved that what they lacked in experience compared to the Ace Ops, they made up for it by being a much better team. That's why it's my fave.

[heart-buzz]

yo why is it that like 99% of the time that "bees" are mentioned, the convo automatically goes to honeybees? other bees exist and are way cuter tbh? (also honeybees are fucking FINE do not even start. it's the native and solitary bees we need to worry about)

[bonefall]

Thoughts on Wasp? I like the idea of cats joining that turn out that the Clans aren’t great… but also it feels… weird? Like it seems like another “lazy cat bad” on some levels. I don’t mind him not joining the Clans but these “outsider learns they’re not fit for the Clans” things always give me a pause from the Erins. Also interested in how you would handle him!

Moonkitti's video on him is really well worded, if you haven't seen it yet. I do think he's different from the way that other books tend to portray outsiders in that they are saying that he was driven away by the xenophobia of the Clans... but.

They still make him extremely disinterested in Clan life while he's in ThunderClan. I think that was a massive blunder to write, if the thing they're trying to say is "XENOPHOBIA PREVENTS OTHERWISE ENTHUSIASTIC MIGRATION"

It would have hit harder if it was Wafflepaw who tried to run to RiverClan, got assaulted, and then didn't want to be a Clan cat anymore.

Wafflepaw WANTS to be a warrior. Wasp did not. It reads more like Wasp getting hate crime'd was a "last straw" more than THE reason why he won't stay.

That's where you're getting that vibe they're saying "lazy cat bad," imo. It's a bit different from usual, but it still seems like the narrative is saying that Wasp really didn't belong here anyway.

(no, Nightheart's moment where he looks at the camera and says "he could have been fine!" doesn't change that they showed, in their text, with the actions they wrote, that Wasp was not enjoying being part of the Clans anyway. If that was their intended thesis, their writing was sloppy.)

It feels especially weird that Bee didn't go with Frostpaw. Bee was the character with a lot more setup and that strange dream. A lot of people were confusing Bee and Wasp when the book first came out and I don't blame them.

Most importantly, you can't talk about Wasp without also mentioning one of THE worst lines I think has ever been written into a Warrior Cats book. The part where tigerHeartstar says, "Those cats who just committed a hate crime were perfectly good people before the evil dictator took over. If we kill the evil dictator, I'm sure they'll CHANGE BACK"

I'm still REELING. Fuck you MEAAAN "CHANGE BACK????" CHANGE BACK? LIKE BEING A BIGOT IS UNCOMFORTABLE SHOES???

CHANGE BACK... me bringing my evil dollars up to the villain store and exchanging it for racism coins... change back...

So when I get around to it, I'm going to evaluate if Wasp is even actually necessary in the form he's in. BB is already about xenophobia and bigotry and the harm it does. Frostpaw has no shortage of examples to witness what Thistle Law is, and what it does to those excluded from Clan Culture.

When I first made my Family Tree for RiverClan, I actually ended up making Splashstar's MOM, Havenpelt, an ex-rogue. I think seeing him order a hate crime against his own mother would be a LOT more impactful here, actually.

What Frostpaw DOES need is allies and friends. I'm already starting by expanding her little "DND Party," a word I'm using to affectionately refer to some cats who will be following her home from her pilgrimage to the Park. 99% chance that Nightheart is going to become a permanent member of this party, joining RiverClan at the end of ASC. Waffle will be another. She'll probably also pick up a Tribe cat.

Wasp will be on this party, but I won't decide what happens to them until I see what that last book has in store. Who knows, he might come back (though I hope not, run as far away from these ghouls as possible Wasp!!)

[nokillbananashelter]

A HUGE portion of the criticisms for BOTW and TOTK boil down to “there isnt (xyz) in this game like other games!” And the answer to it is almost always “yes there is, you are just ignoring it or actively avoiding it or willfully engaging in it in a way that is breaking it and then getting mad that it broke”

Like, if you want a tight 50 hour 3d zelda with a full ACTIVE PRESENT story and linear story/mechanical progression & big dungeons….just listen to what the game is telling you to do and inviting you to see when you see it and you will literally get a classic linear 3d zelda experience complete with “yes, we did infact have ONE PARTICULAR solution in mind for this puzzle!”, deep lore implications, extremely melodic and complex orchestral music, progression, & a zany cast of characters.

Both of these games are so much more than that though, and contains so much more content that people don’t see that meat and potatoes run because of their own choices and desire to break the game wins out over wanting to meet the game where its at. And to be fair, that is a major component to what these games are daring you to do. And you should engage with those, but if you really did want the classic experience, it should be obvious you should treat it like the OOT era games and it will LITERALLY provide that for you in neon blinking lights and guardrails.

I really do feel like these two games are sort of an exercise in discipline /listening /spotting subtly /recognizing things in their new shape as much as they are an invitation to explore experiment and fuck off, and people are mad that the option to break from the path exists at all because they dont have the control or desire or sight to focus in on whats being asked of them and they don’t want to accept the shape of what the game is working with.

I’m not saying these people are playing the game wrong, but the attitude and closed mindedness is the problem. it’s almost always the source of these kinds criticisms that want to present these games as empty repetitive experiences, when these two games give the entire franchise a run for its money on uniqueness and novelty and story depth and profoundness.

You went in for a bad time, didnt want to play, and got exactly what you worked for- a lame, monotonous level skip that jumps ahead of itself, disrespects the intention of the developers, and misses the point of very obviously and enticingly marked gametunnels they made for you.

Like, seriously here, both but totk especially is quite literally an on-rails CINEMATIC GAMEPLAY experience if you want it to be, it literally has a path that is like 99% laid out in such a way that you are directly on mine cart rails and jumping up and down on direct vertical pathways. The regions-to-temple pathways are about as much of a bee-line as you can get. The skylands & cave systems are effectively old oot era compartmentalized zones. Same with shrines. There are so many ways they have created pathways and say “GO THIS WAY” that if you ignore those and get lost its kinda on you for not being observant….. which has always been one of the top asks of the player required to beat a Zelda game.

The biggest difference between these two games and other 3-D Zelda’s is that it just has taken the roof and some walls off the design. It Lets you experience more in context to your journey at any given time and that gives you a lot of freedom and agency to break from the path or stay on your goals, and both enrich your experience and inform what links journey is going to be and how narratively/mechanically/progression cohesive it will be.

[ciaossu-imagines]

So, from day 11 of the event, I used ‘N’ from prompt 13 for the main gang from Mashle: Magic & Muscles! I’m excited to write for this fandom on here and hope anyone who knows the fandom enjoys the headcanons!

Netflix and chilling

Mash Burnedead

Okay, let’s not even lie to ourselves here. Mash is not even going to know what ‘Netflix and chill’ means, even if it existed in universe, which we’re just going to assume here that it does for the purpose of these headcanons.

For most of his life, Mash wasn’t raised around anyone but his pops and I really don’t see Regro giving Mash the whole birds and bees talk, much less getting down into the smuttiness behind Netflix and chill and things of that like. He likes his son’s innocence and always said he didn’t want to make Mash grow up too soon.

So really, until he started school at 15 and really heard a lot of the talk from other kid’s his age, I really don’t think Mash even knew what sex was. It takes him a while to catch up on all that honestly because, let’s be honest here, the boy had just a couple more important things to really concentrate on, like trying to avoid people finding out he didn’t have magic, then trying to avoid execution, then taking down his crazy megalomaniac bio dad. He was really just doing all that and trying to make friends.

I think Mash, even after he gets caught up on the whole sex and sexual attraction thing, remains very, very much an oblivious airhead at times. He’s not going to know someone wants a hookup or his partner wants sex if they just invite him for Netflix and chill time. He’s just going to think they wanna watch a movie with him, in which case he’s likely going to turn them down 99% of the time as he’s not a movie watcher. Has no interest in it.

I mean that literally. He will just plain out go ‘no thanks. Movies bore me,’ and will walk away because he has other things he wants to do or will go back to training or something else.

Hopefully the person he just unknowingly rejected has some very thick skin.

Dot Barrett

In stark contrast, Dot is definitely a man who knows what Netflix and chilling is. He’s dreamed of it for so long, but he doesn’t really have a lot of luck with the ladies and it’s not really something he gets invited to do.

Because Dot really does consider himself, and does go out of his way, to be a gentleman, even when attracted to someone and even if it’s actually really what he wants, he could never lower himself to be so uncouth as to invite someone to Netflix and chill with him. Even with a long-term sexual partner, he couldn’t really get himself to offer because it does, in his mind, feel a little disrespectful and he worries his partner would think he was only after them for the sex.

Dot’s a man who likes to put in the work to seduce someone he’s in a sexual relationship with, to put some romance into it. Even if he desperately wants that kind of fantasy hook-up, that purely sex driven thrill ride of a night, he could never be so brash.

He’d definitely take up the invitation if it was offered by someone who he thought was really attractive. He goes into it all excited. Like, sporting a half-chub the entire way to them excited. It’s going to be frigging amazing.

But he really just can’t help himself…he can’t just have sex be sex. It’s not something that really sits right with him. He shoots himself a little in the foot because, if it’s not someone he’s dating, he can’t just let go and just fuck them. He kind of shies away from a lot of physical contact and keeps trying to make conversation and get to know the person. Sure, he blushes and stammers a lot when they touch him, especially if they’re really forward about what they want and he almost loses his composure for a second, but in the end he just can’t go through with it.

Even in a dedicated relationship, the sex can’t be an instant thing. He ends up enjoying the cuddling, the quiet conversation, and the making out much too much and the movie’s probably been over by the time he and his partner even move past foreplay.

Lance Crown

Lance is fully aware of Netflix and chilling.

He’s received a lot of invites to do just that, how could he not know? And I do mean a lot. Despite some of his…quirks…he’s got that pretty face, plus the prestige and reputation. He gets a lot of offers and honestly, Netflix and chilling is pretty tame compared to more than a handful of them.

Someone has legit tried to entice him by telling him they would have his babies if he wanted to start trying right then and there, on a very public street, while starting to reach for their belt.

Too bad for everyone but Lance doesn’t really do hookups all that often. He’s really busy and when he does get free time, it’s almost exclusively given to Anna and his friends.

I also do think he would prefer a more committed sexual relationship over a hookup.

Even with that committed sexual relationship…his partner asks him to Netflix and chill and his answer is definitely going to be ‘with Anna in the house? You would want us to do such dirty things with my precious little sister in the house!’ and there would just be an argument.

As for why is Anna there? When is Anna not there? If Lance could, he would have his sister live with him forever.

When Anna is away though, Lance will bring up that Netflix and chill offer and say that they could do that. Or, better yet, they can just skip the Netflix and get right to the chill, since that’s what they’re both wanting anyway, isn’t it?

Finn Ames

Finn definitely knows what the term means. He’s familiar with it and understands the concept and everything, but the thought of using it on someone would never even cross his mind.

The boy stumbles and stammers even asking for the first time if he can kiss his partner. Even when he and his partner start having sex, he’s very considerate when it comes to trying to instigate it. He kind of reads their body language, makes subtle moves to show he’s really wanting to be physically intimate with them.

Finn has a very proper view of sex as a whole, honestly, where it’s something two people in love gift to each other, not just something you do because it feels good.

Good god, it feels good though and he’d be ashamed to admit how often he does think about it.

He’s the type to try to do extra things for his partner during the day so they have more time to relax and be more in the mood later, when his kisses and hesitant touches let them know what he would like, not the ‘wanna pretend to watch a movie together so I can get into your pants’ type of guy.

Lemon Irvine

Lemon blushes really hard when she hears the word ‘Netflix and chill’.

When the words are directed at her, her whole face becomes as red as a tomato.

Oh, and she also shows that she knows how to throw an impressive straight jab right into the suggester’s face.

Doesn’t matter if it’s just someone trying to come onto her that she isn’t in a relationship with or someone she’s kind of in love with.

Lemon is a delicate fucking maiden, okay. You treat delicate maidens gently and properly and you put some romance into getting into their pants. You don’t just ask them to fuck straight out like that, at least not to her.

She has no problems being sexual with the person she loves, but she does want there to be some romance to it or some sort of build-up, not just a completely ‘bro-dating’ trend like Netflix and chill.

[johnslittlespoon]

leaving bikeriders anon here again i’m going crazy over the back and forth constant neither of them saying anything out of nervousness of it all like of COURSE it would take them forever to actually get together there would have to be an honest to god crisis a completely off-kilter situation for them to get together they’re so bad at communicating. also have not been able to get the thought of them running into each other by chance at a bar across town and even though bucky showed up with people he just ends up at a table in the corner with gale the whole night. gale jokingly asks if john is even old enough to drink which turns into a whole thing where john suddenly has to prove to gale that he CAN drink and he IS old enough and is Definitely Worthy of gale’s attention. anyways!

HIII i'm still ON one about this too dw

exactly my goddd the back and forth would be physically painful to write/read honestly lol the flirtation and the sexual tension!!

ur so right smth absolutely wild would have to happen, or one of them would have to slip up, or there'd have to be an argument where feelings are blurted out in anger/hurt, orrrr, in relation to your idea at the end which i'm going clinically insane over bee tee dubs:

john is so offended by the insinuation that he's too young to drink even if gale's joking, made worse probably by gale throwing in a kid– "you old enough to be in here, kid?" with the corner of his mouth quirking up a bit.

john puffs his chest out and tries not to let the one beer he's had slur his words, goes "'course i am" all huffy, rolls his eyes, reaches for gale's full shot glass while holding determined eye contact and tips it back without a second thought, really has to clench his fist in his lap for a second when it threatens to come right back up, not used to anything quite so harsh.

it's not gale's intention to egg him on like that, john's just bristly, a messy college kid used to bulldozing his way through life, never turning down a bet or challenge, has maybe been watching a pretty girl hang off gale's other side on top of everything and wants to prove that he can be exciting and mature too.

john ends up drinking too much, taking whatever shots the others in gale's group pass him for their entertainment until gale shuts the next person who tries down with a pointed glare, slides the shot glass away before john can reach for it, says "alright, we're cutting you off" when john whines out a complaint, leaning heavily against gale's side.

the night ends with gale helping john out of the bar because john's friends leave long before he does. he gets john out to the parking lot out front, gets him situated on the back of his motorcycle, keeps a hand on his shoulder and asks where home is, and john's like, "oh, no, can't go home like this buck, dad'll gimme a shiner" and gale's jaw clenches hard, but it's not the time to get angry.

he's at a loss, because he's not gonna bring john home to an environment he's had a faint suspicion isn't the greatest since they met (however that might have been, that's shit for me to plot out later lol) but bringing him to his house seems like a bad idea, but he's also not sure what to do and john's friends don't seem the greatest to just leave him with a borderline stranger. so what else is there to do?

"am i gonna have to tie you to me, or are you gonna hold on tight?" he asks as he climbs on the bike in front of john, and john giggles out a "y'can tie me to wh'tever y'want," filter completely gone from how sloshed he is, and gale looks to the sky and says a silent prayer because jesus fucking christ. what.

i'm like 99% certain that alcohol would be involved in a feelings confession, probably that night when it slips out from john's lips, so drunk he doesn't even realize it. nothing would happen that night, because gale's trying to be a responsible adult and he wants to make sure john's not just saying shit, but he's also quite forward, so he'd bring it up in the morning after he's brought john a water and some painkillers, and john would go so red and he'd drop his head into his hands and whisper an "oh my god" because he can't believe he's slipped up so bad.

and then yk. feelings–talk ensues. john is so mortified, he wants to die. gale is so enamoured but trying to be realistic about things. etc etc i'll flesh it all out eventually when it's time to start writing it >:)

[toastling]

That Obito take took off surprisingly well, didn't know the Naruto fandom was still that active here. So here's a spicier one than the acknowledgement of Kamui's brokenness.

Kisame could solo any dual MS user, including multiple forms of pre-Ten Tails Madara, and you can't tell me otherwise.

His Water style is so powerful and wide-ranging, he can drown out any Fire technique, he has so much chakra even without the regen via Samehada that he's called a tailless tailed beast, and with Samehada, he can eat ridiculous amounts of chakra almost instantly.

One swing of Samehada ate, what was it, 6 tails? 7 tails? Of chakra from Killer Bee and knocked him from Version 2 back into a Version 1 tailed beast cloak. You could argue that's actually more than just 6 tails worth of chakra too since the Version 2 cloak is so much denser and more potent, but even on its lower possible end, the amount of chakra he can eat up with just one swing and a graze is insane.

So what do you think happens when some cocky Uchiha throws up a Susano'o? A giant chakra mech. Made of chakra. And only chakra. One swing and, while he might not swallow an entire Susano'o if it's in its Perfect State ala Madara or Sasuke, it will 100% tear an opening through which Kisame can either enter himself or fire any manner of jutsu. The perfect defense is no longer a defense at all. In fact, it's a liability. It's an instant recharge and heal for Kisame and a waste of Uchiha chakra.

And even if he somehow loses or is separated Samehada, or you try to make the argument "Madara is so malevelont his chakra would be disgusting and Samehada wouldn't eat it", which is tenuous at best since it's eaten the Kyuubi's no problem, Kisame can still absorb chakra all on his own with his Water Shark Bombs.

We only saw them in action once, and unfortunately, they got no dif'd because he was up against 7th Gate Guy and Guy doesn't use chakra. But for any actual genuine ninjutsu, it would just swallow it up to grow bigger and stronger and harder to counter. It, too, should easily punch holes through a Susano'o as well as swallow up any offensive jutsu shot his way, such as Great Fireballs.

And once he gets into his fused state with Samehada, and the water bubble goes up? Gg, you lose. You still need to breathe while you're inside of a Susano'o. That shit ain't air tight. You're drowning and there's nothing you can do about it. Swing your Perfect Susano'o mountain cleaver all you want, no matter how much water you displace, Kisame can replenish it with his bijuu level chakra reserves. And if he can't, he'll just take some of yours in a drive by and then replenish it.

No matter who you are, with very few exceptions, you just straight up lose versus Kisame Hoshigaki. This guy no dif'd jinchuriki and bijuu better than anyone else in the Akatsuki for a reason. The only ninja who could ever stand up to him was Might Guy for a reason. He has so many ways to take your power for his own, regen, or straight up drown you that you're just doomed right off rip.

Defeating Kisame requires a very special set of powers that 99% of characters in the franchise simply do not have, even in the era of Boruto. Yes, he probably couldn't solo Ten Tails Dual Rinnegan Madara or any Ootsutsuki, but god damn would he put up a fight. More than that, he'd be the ideal team member to eat up any large scale jutsu they throw your way.

It's always baffled me how underrated Kisame is as a fighter. Dude's a fucking menace.

[deafeninggalaxycandy]

✨️JIMMY VALMER HEADCANONS ✨️

trigger warning: tiny mention of drug use and gangs

if these suck, sorry im sleepy rn

• James Anderson Valmer

He/Him

• Born on May 13th 2004

• 5'7" without his crutches, around 5'6" with them.

• Straight

• Dreams of being on SNL or at least being a writer for it.

• Huge crush on Taylor Tomlinson

• The minute he comes up with a joke he immediately tells Craig. Good or bad, he's the first ones he goes to for honest feedback. He regrets it sometimes though because he's brutally and a bit hurtfully straight forward

• Plays Dungeons and Dragons with his friends. He's always the Dungeon master.

• Best friends with Timmy and Scott Malkinson.

• After the fish sticks joke, he stayed in touch with a lot of comedic celebrities including Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler and Jay Leno. He still cringes when it's brought up though.

• Likes shows like Impractical Jokers, The Office, Parks and Rec, and Brooklyn 99

• Jimmy bonded with Craig while they both had their braces on. His actually funny jokes and teasing about them made Craig feel a lot better contrasted to his sisters' and classmates actual bullying.

• Tried to reconcile with Nathan even after the dude tried to straight up murder him (they were eventually cool as adults)

• One of the least bothered by Cartman's antics since they aren't around as much and Cartman is generally a lot nicer to Jimmy because he makes him laugh all the time. Unlike Clyde, Jimmy doesn't think Cartman is joking about the crazy shit he says but he tolerates the guy simply because he hasn't done anything super bad to him yet.

• Jimmy is the only one of the main boys who hasn't experimented with drugs. He's had plenty of beer and other liquors, but after the whole steroids thing, he didn't want to do any sort of drug ever again. However, he's been peer pressured to, mostly by Clyde and some of his fellow Crip members.

• Oh yeah, he's still a Crip. Him and Timmy. They never left the gang. They eventually realized that it's a violent gang in around middle school but decided not to leave since the Crips were so nice to them and offered protection against any bullies (which really came in handy in high school, the gang killed like 10 students who were picking on the boys.)

• Jimmy didn't even ask them to do that he just asked to get them off him and Timmys backs and they took it terrifyingly serious.

• Preforms at comedy clubs and mostly does improv. He's amazing at crowd work too.

• Sings in the shower but is kind of nervous to sing out loud. He was a good singer as a kid but puberty hit him at a weird time and his voice was screwed up and cracked for a long time. He eventually used this as new material for his stand-up but he was genuinely embarrassed about it.

• Tricia decorates his crutches with unicorn stickers.

• Got smacked in the mouth by Tolkien for saying the n word (due to influence from his Crip buddies)

• Jimmy hates being left out or not considered part of Craig's gang when he's literally almost always seen spending most of his time with them.

• Is in the school band and plays the trumpet.

• Has a BIG crush on Tammy but heard about her being a slut and is kind of on the fence about asking her out. He doesn’t even know about Kenny getting syphilis but he's still scared of getting an STD.

• LOVES the Bee movie. It's so incredibly stupid, it's like Jimmy's playground. Also he fucking loves Jerry Seinfeld.

• Also really likes the Muppets. He unironically had a crush on Miss Piggy (he will take that secret to the grave)

• Favorite book is iFunny by James Patterson and he heavily relates to Jamie Grimm being a cool disabled comedian with all he's going through. He just generally likes James Patterson books.

• Listens to The Lonely Island, "Weird Al" Yankovic, Bo Burnham, and Glorb (He's on YouTube)

• Thinks ThatVeganTeacher is 100% satire and funny as fuck and he doesn’t understand why Heidi gets annoyed when he shows her the womans TikTok's.

Listen I tried-

He's not easy to write for I borrowed some of these ideas I apologize

If you follow me and notice my work, they all have smth in common I usually elaborate on a mental health or trauma related issue on the characters.

For example, I mentioned Nichole and Tolkien's issues with living in a racist ass hick town like South Park and frequently being around a racist ass hick like Cartman.

Or with Stan, I mentioned his drinking and how he hates his shitty ass father.

However, since Jimmy is one of the only characters who hasn't been seen or even hinted at having any real, intense, long-term mental health problems, especially with his disability, I decided to go a mostly chill, lighthearted route with him.

I mentioned him and Timmy getting bullied but that happens during high school and middle school and it was more for comedic purposes so I could mention how the Crips may or may not have killed a bunch of mean teenagers bc of two disabled kids who accidentally joined in the first place💀

And that does it for Craigs gang!! The little siblings are up next, it's time for my girl Karen!!!

Be prepared, I've given lots of thought to her.

Also I made a masterlist that I'm posting in like 3 minutes, with all my links all to my South Park works so far

Stay safe, drink water, byeeeeee :)

[lovelycloverrs]

ʙʟᴜᴇ ʟᴏᴄᴋ ʙᴏʏꜱ ᴡ/ ᴀᴅʜᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ!!!

Headcanons

characters: Bachira, Chigiri, Isagi, Rin, Nagi and Kunigami (before wild card)

Manga spoilers? idk

Info: headcanons, NB reader, fluff, Rin and Kunigami might be a little ooc

requested? (no/yes) request status: open!

Warning: Meds…? and overstimulation/sensory overload

Note: This is heavily based on my own personal experiences being a neurodivergent person

Meguru Bachira!

He also has ADHD you cannot tell me otherwise.

He doesn’t take meds tho, but one time he did and everyone was so weirded out, he was more quiet than usual and wayyy less touchy, everyone in the team thought that he was angry at someone or something, once you explained that he took the adhd meds thats morning everything made sence. You two are the cutest couple! Both of you share the same hyperfixation over football and every time you stim wen you make a goal Bachira stims with you, he listens clearly every time you info dump about your favorite topic

Overstimulation/Sensory overload

Wen Bachira is over stimulated he gets irritated very easily, everything is too much for him, the lights are too bright, everything and everyone is loud, his monster keep yelling at his ear too, don’t try and go talk to him he will 99% tell you to leave him alone or fuck off and don’t touch him either, even the smallest touch make him angry. The best that you can do to help is get him away from the environment to somewhere quiet, give him a sweet, his favorite snack or drink and wrap him up on a heavy blanket if possible, wen he calmed down you can cover him on hugs and kisses.

He notices very quickly wen you are overstimulated, if he’s talking to someone and he notices that everything feels overwhelming to you he will end the conversation right on the spot, if you are okay with touch he will grab your hand and get you to somewhere quiet, will hug tightly if you let him, well teach you breathing exercises that his mother thought him wen he was little Wonce you have calmed down he will ask if you want to back, stay with him a little more or leave whatever the place that you guys are at.

“C’mon I’ll buy you a candy on the way back”

Hyoma Chigiri!

He thinks you are a little annoying at first, but quickly gets used to you and Bachira.

One time you took meds one time without telling him, you were unusually quiet got irritated very quickly and easily, he thought that you were mad at him he asked you all day what’s wrong, even wen you told him that nothing was wrong he wouldn’t believe you, once you told him that you took you meds that morning he told you to never take it again. He loves to hear you info dump about your favorite interest, will let you play with his hair wile you’re at it, he finds so adorable every time you stim wen you see something that you are really passionate about, he mimics you sometimes heh, you two are sooo adorable together you are constantly playing with his hair doesn’t matter what you two are doing.

Overstimulation/Sensory overload

He doesn’t know what’s wrong, suddenly you became unresponsive and really cranky, he will hold your hand all the time and ask you what’s wrong, you finally tell him that you want to go somewhere quiet as fast as possible, he quickly understands and if he is talking to someone he will politely end the conversation and get you somewhere quiet

He asks what he can do ti help, if you don’t respond he will let you pat his hair until you calmed down, once you did he asked what happened, you told him that everything was overwhelming, the lights were too bright, everything was loud, you explained what overstimulation was and he quickly understood.

“If that happen again, I will always be here for you”

Yoichi Isagi!

He hangout with Bachira for a wile, he thinks you are adorable!

You and the bee boy have to take turns to hug Isagi, often ends up in fights tho Bachira doesn't really know how to share, if you took meds he will obviously tell the difference everyone at the team can, but he doesn't put that much thought into it.

He loves wen you stim and do it with you too!

Mimicked you so many times that he started to do it do is so adorable, this also counts for verbal stimming. He will listen to you info dumping with a bright smile on his face.

Overstimulation/Sensory overload

Isagi helps Bachira wen he has overstim episodes, so he knows what to do, he will brings noise cancelling headphones with, fidget toys and snacks so that every time that you or Bachira start feeling overwhelmed he will hand them to you.

He looks like a single mother handing their child an ipad.

If they don't' work Isagi will drag you to a calmer place with less people, he will hold your hand and talk with you until you feel better.

"Hey its okay, I'll help you honey"

Itoshi Rin!

Rin thinks you are so fucking annoying.

You are constantly talking on his ear, can't sit still for 1 minute straight, if you take the meds one day he will find your behavior a little strange but will be pleased by it, you finely let him alone and stopped talking for once, wen you told him that you took the meds Rin told you to take it every day cuz you were annoying as fuck.

Wen you accidentally info dump next to him he does his best to ignore you, he finds it so annoying, and wen you stim too

He thinks is ridiculous.

Overstimulation/Sensory overload

Rin thinks you are just being over dramatic.

Until you start crying, but he doesn't ask what's wrong he just stares at you for a couple of times, you crying is so annoying to him wen anyone cry actually.

He will just stand there until you are done with you little show

"Can you stop? You are embarrassing yourself"

Seishiro Nagi!

“Where do you get all that energy?”

He doesn’t understand how you and Reo can still keep you eyes open after training, just seeing you run/jump around makes him even more tired but after some time he gets used to your loud and energetic personality, if you took meds he would find it strange that you are acting really quiet but wouldn’t get so bothered by it, wen Reo is not around you’ll have to carry him everywhere.

Nagi tries his best to not sleep wile you are info dumping, he doesn’t think the topic is boring not at all, your voice makes him sleepy but he’ll do his best to listen all that you have to say, will make you hyperfixate on his favorite game, he wants someone that he can play with

He likes to play solo but company never murdered someone

Nagi doesn’t get why you stim wen you are talk about something you like, he finds it cute, till one day he beat one of the hygienist scores in his game without even noticing he was stimming he had “developed” this habit after hanging out with you for a long time

Overstimulation/Sensory overload

He would immediately notice that something is wrong, you were avoiding eye contact, got irritated very fast and would refuse any kind of physical touch even the smallest ones, he would drag you away from the place you two were in to somewhere quiet and with less people

Nagi would let you borrow his earphones, so that you could listen to some music maybe play some games so that you could calm down, he wouldn’t say a word he would just sit next to you till you were fully okay, he would ask if everything was alright and if you wanted to leave and go home, his social battery was dying anyway

“Do you want to go home? I’m tired too”

Rensuke Kunigami!

He fucking loves you

Kunigami thinks you are so adorable, your energetic and loud personality you’re always really exited to train and practice he just can’t get enough of you!

He would love to hear you talk about your interests all day, wile his eating, training, practicing he wants to hear your voice all day.

If you took meds one day he would think that something was bothering you, he would ask all day if you were okay cuz you seem really quiet, until you told him that you had took the meds and that everything was okay he wouldn’t let you alone,, Kunigami loves wen you stim, is so adorable.

He would get fidget toys for you

He read so many articles and blogs about adhd he finds it really interesting and is looking forward to learning more about it <33

Overstimulation/Sensory overload

Like I said, he has read lots of stuff about adhd in the internet, overstimulation is one of them

Once he notices that everything is overwhelming to you and that you started being unresponsive, he quickly got you to somewhere quiet and calm and made you do some breathing exercises with him, he would get you your favorite snack or a plushie to help you calm down.

Thank you so much for reading! This took me a long time to write heh

Might do a part 2 with Karasu, Sae, Shidou, Kaiser, Reo and Kunigami (after wild card)

reblogs are appreciated <;33

[alpaca-clouds]

Why we want the world to end

Recently we are talking a lot about the end of the world, aren't we? Like, within a couple of weeks three leftist Youtube Channels made videos on the end of the world. Zoey Bee, Sophie from Mars and also Brows Held High. It is fair to say that it is a topic that seems kinda present on a lot of people's minds. Making me think about it quite a bit: Why are we talking about the end of the world so much?

It is kinda an evergreen topic, of course. I wrote a while back about historical apocalypses, that actually happened before. And yet, we are still here, aren't we?

Now, a week ago, a friend got me to watch the first episode of Zom 100 and... the answer is rather clear, right?

It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.

The end of the world is an all-time topic for humans. But recently it has become more prevalent, it seems. And I think this is why. Because between the pandemic and the clearly noticable effects of climate change, most people have by now noticed that capitalism is not working.

Most of us are not happy with our jobs. Most of us want to do something that feels meaningful with our lives. Most of us want a change.

But dismantling capitalism seems almost impossible. More than that: Trying to stand up against it, is fucking scary. Because we know that they have all the power. Even though they are not really happy with it either, are they?

So, we kinda hope for the apocalypse to come. To free us from this system. To set us free. Because a lot of us imagine a world of fighting zombies a lot easier, than a world of dismantling capitalism. Because so many of us have been taken the ability to even imagine what a world without capitalism would even look like.

See Zom 100, where for the protagonist the zombie apocalypse kinda saves him, finally allowing him to actually live.

But... The world does not actually need to end. We actually can bring capitalism down. Because capitalism doesn't work without the workers. Because 99 are more than 1.

We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art, and very often in our art, the art of words.

[saggitary]

Back with a lil TTTBU meta, here is all the mando'a words and phrases I've either found or I've made up for this fic! Let me know if you want a Togruti one as well for what I've found/made up!

(FYI some of this might be made up I honestly can't remember but like 99% is found from dictionaries online)

Words

aliit - family

ade - children

alor'ad - captain

al'verde - commander

dema'golka - monster

dini'la - insane

jetii - Jedi

naak - peace

ori'vod - older sibling

tebec - ammunition

vod - sibling (gender neutral)

vode - siblings (plural)

vod'ika - younger sibling

vor'e - thanks

Now onto the swears!

bantha-osik - bantha-shit

di'kut - idiot

haar'chack - damnit

haran - hell (literal, cosmic destruction)

jagyc - dick

kriff - general swear similar to fuck (I don't think this is actually mando'a however it pops up a lot so I am putting it hear)

mir'osik - smart shit

mir'sheb - smart ass

osik - shit

osik'la - shitty

osik'ika - little shit

osik'tengaara - shitshow

shab - fuck

shaba - fucking

shaba shebs - fucking ass

shaba'osik - fucking shit

shabbed - fucked

shabuir - motherfucker

sheb/shebs - ass

shebs'palon - asshole

Now with the sayings/sentences

This is where some things get a bit odd with me trying to sort out what words we have in the mando'a dictionary as well as congregations and configuration so they might not be 100% accurate!

ni'pel - I yield

osik’serim - shit aim

Sooran bic - suck it

Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr’adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum - I’m still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal (Daily remembrance of those passed on)

ori’buyce, kih’kovid - all helmet, no head

Copaani mirshmure’cye, mir’shebs - are you looking for a smack in the face smartasses

Aalar’gar jate - you feeling good?

Kriffing jetti bal'val jaro - Kriffing Jedi and their death wish

Ja'hailir gar'joha vod - Watch your language brother

Aliit ori’shya tal’din - family is more than blood

nutenni te shab’laam - shut the fuck up

Rangi an’be vala - To hell with all of them

Vore entye - Thank you

Ba’gedet’ye - you're welcome

shab'rud bal mar'eyir dayn - fuck around and find out

Ni ori'haat bah've Maker al'verde ni'mav kyr'amur gar nearest meh'gar vurel nari'ibac tug'yc - I swear to the Maker commander I will kill you myself if you ever do that again

Ash nas'nuhoy'laam ba'te dush'eso be'te haav - Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed

-

There will def be more to come and I will likely need to make an updated one in a while but here we go for now!

tags! @snarkyfina @jarchvast-likearchvistbutthevast @bees-flowers

[inu-jiru]

"Oops" Episode Rambles

I rewatched the episode for the sake of my rewrite post (plus I just wanted to see the final animation, credit where it's due, the show is fun to look at sometimes), and decided to share my thoughts since I haven't done that for an episode in a while:

Ngl, I'm honestly really indifferent towards Fizzmodeus, like I get that it's most people's positive for this episode but I honestly just don't care about it. I think it's because I'm so jaded to the 99% of dialogue that's sex-related to enjoy the sentimental stuff but also because it's just Bee and Vortex again, and it begs the question of why the shit Stolas' situation is so special (aside from him being Vivzie's baby) when the Sins just do whatever and either hide it poorly or don't hide it at all. Who came up with this hierarchy in the first place? Because the more we go on the more it seems like a thing that only Goetians focus on (which Ozzie should be apart of so what the fuck).

Speaking of Ozzie, I don't get why he's so nice, same with Bee. I'm not asking for everyone to be a shithead 24/7 but the concept of Hell's leaders, the ones who've created and are enabling the world of kill-or-be-killed that we've seen, being 100% friendly is just odd to me. Then again, Viv's idea of Hell is a nonstop party where they're all good unlike the EVIL BAD TOTALLY NOT GOOD angels and Adam so it doesn't surprise me. Also his whole thing about "Lust shouldn't be forced". Um? I'd get it if he were talking about LOVE, but Lust is not something I'd ever consider to be consensual in nature, especially not in Hell. That's all I'll say on the matter because it's a very serious topic, but then again, maybe I should consider myself lucky a topic that dark isn't being butchered by Vivzie. All of that said, I do like Ozzie's voice actor, he's really nice-sounding.

I don't understand what the hell happened with Fizz and Blitzo. Who the fuck was going around saying that Blitzo didn't wanna see Fizz and didn't tell Fizz that Blitzo showed up? I have to assume it was maybe Barbie or Cash (assuming Cash didn't also die in the fire). If it was Barbie I'm not entirely sure why. As far as we're aware (unless they retcon it in later) Barbie shouldn't have seen Blitzo knocking into the cake or leaving Fizz, so if she did it because their mom died, I can't see how she would know that. Maybe someone saw Blitzo and passed that on to Barbie, but the fact of the matter is I shouldn't have to Tetris-style guess and insert explanations for the episode. If any episode was going to be a full on backstory, it should've been this one, not The Circus, especially with Unhappy Campers being before this one.

On a positive note, I think those little fly-dog things are so cute in a kinda ugly way. I do think it's kind of a nice small look into Fizz's mind that he'd have one that's wheelchair-bound because he'd relate to it. Ozzie patching up Fizz was nice too, as much as I don't care for the couple, I'm glad that Fizzmodeus at leasts SHOWS the shit that Stolitz doesn't. And speaking of Stolitz, yeah Blitzo keep telling me all these things Stolas TOTALLY does for you yeah I'm sooooooo sure

And, like other people have said, Stolas was totally pointless and useless like always, and what a nice cool guy who totally isn't bad like the other Goetia when he let that lawyer guy get brutally murdered, like yeah I guess it wasn't really his place to help or anything but I don't think having him smirk and say "Get fucked, little one" is doing him any favors. I do have to wonder if they're actually gonna go through with this Crystal shit. I'm not gonna bother guessing anymore because like I said before, the show will throw a biggest, goofiest curveball at you to try and seem less predictable.

And speaking of curveballs, Crimson and Striker. That's it. That's all I gotta say on that subject. I miss Harvest Moon Festival, man. Like I'm no Striker fangirl who buys all the Striker merch and shit but damn he's so pathetic now. Why did Blitzo have to recreate the shit that happened and shoot the barrel when he could've shot Striker in the face while he was talking? Please, I need someone else on the writing team PLEASE

Anyway I think that's it for now.

[zememerrramble]

The Ultimate Tumblr Sexyman

Hear me out for a second.

Now, you may be saying, that's a fucking Purple Coin from Super Mario Galaxy, what do you mean it's a Tumblr Sexyman?

A quick clarifier here. I'll be using "Tumblr Sexyman" as a blanket term. Coins of course, do not possess a boring binary gender. You can consider Purple Coin a Tumblr Sexyagender/Sexyenby/Sexyperson what have you instead.

Let's analyze Purple Coin in terms of some sexypedia terms, tropes, archetypes, all that jazz. I will also draw connections to some famous sexymen* to further Purple Coin's case.

Archetypes/Tropes

Androgyny

Doesn't get more androgynous than being perfectly round. Paired with the enticing neutrality of being a space object, Purple Coin is peak androgyny.

Blank Slate

A perfect canvas for one's desires, your only guide is the Purple Coin's iconic purple and an alluring star.

Capitalist

coin.

Chaoslord

The Purple Coin is a rather mysterious entity, only appearing in the inherently gimmicky Prankster Comets in the Mario Galaxy games. Where did they come from? What do they want? Why are they connected to 99 other Purple Coins (sometimes more?)

Chronokinesis

Mario Galaxy 1 Purple Comets are often timed; every Mario Galaxy 2 Purple Coment is timed. Once that timer reaches zero, Mario/Luigi succumb to the overwhelming power of the Purple Coins, having failed to collect them in their designated timely contract. That's textbook time control if you ask me.

Cosmic

Once again, you'll find these purple fellows exclusively in the Mario Galaxy duology. Their home turf is the distant stars.

Controversial

The Prankster Comics in general have been criticized as being content bloat for the Mario Galaxy games. In Mario Galaxy 1, timeless Purple Coin Stars such as the Beach Bowl Galaxy one have been criticized for being incredibly long stars; if you die in these, it's back to square one. If you want to 100% the Galaxy games, you'll have to do your fair share of Purple Coin collectathoning, which many don't find thrilling. What's a purple morally sound sexyperson, though? Wasting your time plays into the Purple Coin's mischief.

Dissonance

If an ancient triangle yearning for some old guy with six fingers and the number 4 can be a sexyman, so can a Purple Coin. Plenty of room for anthropomorphism and gjinkas too, too bad I've never seen one...

Distinctive Voice

This one is a bit of a stretch, but the Purple Coins are audibly characterized with one simple sound effect - a distortion of the usual coin sound effect. Again, distorted voices are peak sexyman material, your Bill Ciphers, your Alastors, what have you.

Fanon Splintering

Untapped potential here. There's no Fanon Splintering yet, but Purple Coin has some built-in AUs to play around with.

Absolute goldmine of possibilities with the Mario Odyssey Purple Coins. I mean, there's even a top hat one, it writes itself.

Intelligence

The Purple Coins are real sneaskters, you got to have some brain to work in a group of 100+ like that.

Mysterious

Purple postgame whimsical trinkets with distorted sound effects and a strange use of the Gusty Garden motif, that's a mystery waiting to happen. Lots of potential for an Ensemble Darkhorse with gjinkas and all that.

Nonspeaking

Again, only one sound effect, just an audio cue for when you collect them. For all intents and purposes, Purple Coins don't traditionally speak.

Nonstandard Character Design

One could argue Purple Coins are not a "character" but rather an object. To that I say, be the change I want you want to see. Blank Slate from earlier allows a lot of creative liberty with Purple Coin.

Obsessive

While underwater, in Flying Mario form, or in Bee Mario form, Mario can spin next to Purple Coins to attract them to him and automatically collect them.

Gee Purple Coins, you sure are excited to magnetize onto Mario whenever he spins. A bit clingy, wouldn't you say?

Power

Again, Purple Coins have implied time control powers, so they fit the bill of being powerful.

Royalty

Purple Coins are debatably royal. They're both purple and, in Galaxy 1, tied to Bowser, the infamous king of koopas, since you only unlock the Purple Comets after beating the game.

Theme Song

A classic, with that ever so mystifying touch of Gusty Garden's motif to top it all off.

Upper-Class

Shiny, rich purple, dapper.

Villain (Morally Grey/Technically Antagonists)

As previously mentioned, the Purple Comets in Mario Galaxy 1 are only unlocked after defeating the final Bowser battle, so they have some intrinsic tie to the big bad. Are they inherently evil? Maybe not, but the Purple Coins certainly have a sinister vibe to them.

Unofficial Archetypes/Tropes

The following are not official tropes per the Sexypedia, but I would like to mention two self-defined tropes as well.

Cloning/Duplication Powers

The Purple Coins always show up in packs of 100... or more. Could the extraneous Purple Coins perhaps be clones of the original 100? Or, all the the Purple Coins a projection of one supreme host Purple Coin?

Epilogue

Purple Coins are exclusive to the postgame of Mario Galaxy 1, since you need to complete Bowser's Galaxy Reactor to unlock Purple Comets (They're available for most of Galaxy 2.) Purple Coins being past the end of your adventure helps add to the allure of their mysteriousness.

Categories

Fine Wine

Again, let's be the change we want to see. Purple Coin debuted in 2007, well before the initial wave of sexymen, never too late. Potential NBPILF status?

Purple

Purple sexyman are a staple of the medium. Alador Blight, Antasma, Daddy Dearest, Dick Dastardly, TADC Jax, Jevil, King Dice, Professor Venomous, Purple Guy, etc. Purple Coin fits right in.

I rest my case. Purple Coin is the magnum opus of Tumblr Sexymen.