#but! it'll get done lmao
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Somehow this escalated at some point.
The frame can be untoggled and I've somehow added another... thing (which is just chilling untoggled as well).
#oc: fine#durge oc#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 bhaalspawn#bg3 dark urge#bg3 durge#bg3 fanart#bg3 durge oc#i actually cooked with this one i think#idk how i did it im ngl#but i did it well#hello my adorable miserable gremlin#you do be living up to your name with this one#theres a bunch of symbolism that i somehow threw in there#partially not even on purpose#but i shan't throw it in the tags#ill throw it in a reblog instead lmao#now onto the next one so i have it done by my birthday#also i may be lowkey in love with this style and henceforth it'll be the only thing i'm doing#but at least my portfolio is growing#yk the one i don't actually need cuz of my wip issue#i think now i need to make similar ones for the other 3#then I can get them printed framed and hung up on my wall#I mean it works for my vibe so..... (someone pls fucking stop me immediately)
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I don't know how much of episode 5 of sword af was improvised, like in terms of Delores and Koda and their history, cuz there had to be some discussions with Damien prior to the session in order to create such an elaborated lore.
But like it didn't matter cuz it caught me off guard anyways, and I was not expecting the raw emotions from Amanda and Chanse. The level of acting from such comedic actors fucking floored me. Wow. Like I got chills all over, it was insane.
Also the sound department?? The editors??? Whoever decided to put the sound effects for each story??? Y'all need a raise.
#smosh#sword af#damien haas#amanda lehan canto#chanse mccrary#delores paradise#koda amakiir#text#lol lots of tags here 😂#anyways it'll take me some time to recover from this entire new lore#i had no idea i'll get a massive mental slap today lmao#amanda's face will haunt me for days#and chanse's eyes with that raw fear in them? i'm fucking done#what an episode we had!!!#truly amazing to witness such storytelling
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hellooo, I hope you're feeling well! I was wondering however if ouroboros was still being worked on or if it's on hiatus. Hope I wasn't rude in asking
I don't feel it's rude, after all, I have been keeping the development close to my chest. It is still being worked on, edited and transferred into renpy with graphics and soundbytes galore! However, right now, since about three weeks back, I left my partner of 8 years in the middle of the night with just a change of clothes, my dog, and a laptop. I'm struggling hard but putting on a brave face-- right now I'm coming up with a concept of something else to work on until I get a proper apartment and can get my stationary PC back so I can get back to work on ouro. I'll make a proper post about it tomorrow, so keep an eye on this space!
#ouroboros-if#interactive fiction#in all honesty i forgor the password to the louroth tumblr so ill just stick to my personal for now 💀#everything is up in the air. i cry all the time. and when im not crying im writing. LMAO#it'll all work out though it will just take some time to get back on my feet#the ouro book 1 is like 65% done and a demo is even closer. i just haven't found a reasonable stopping point+ some of the most intense edits#and rewrites are in the first chapters and I've been wanting to finish the latter parts first so i don't have to run myself in circles tryin#to line everything up properly. yk?#im so grateful for my patreons for being willing to support me because money is such an issue rn. if I can't make it monetarily on writing i#will have to put it all on complete hiatus and go back to work full time#which I dread bc doggy daycare is so damn expensive. alas! only time will tell what happens next. tomorrow is a big day when i find out#what exactly i will have to do.#thanks for the ask nony<3 i have several other asks i will try to get to during the week!!#please block the 'ouroboros-if' tag if you don't wish to see them dear mutuals<3
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Omg 🥹
https://x.com/bytimreynolds/status/1800600489937276943?s=46&t=E7sk_G9hO2mILI3XElAQFg
oh i LOVE to see it
#matthew tkachuk#jayson tatum#i think it'll be so fun for st louis sports community if they can get it done together lmao#matthew ask
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Hey i am back with a thought.
I know we already mentioned like. The future future plans concerning kids in the New Age storyline.
I was thinking. Who would carry/get the kid in the couples? (Yes this implies mpreg. If this aint your thing no worries you can just ignore everything else :3 )
As you mentioned before. Nightmare and error would most likely adopt.
Between dream and blue i think blue would end up carrying the kid. Dream would feel too locked up and locked down if he had to take it easy. Also. Let this man pamper Blue. He deserves that.
Ccino and Killer. Ccino wouldnt want kids for a LONG time and even just the idea would be slow going. But killer has his soul situation (is that also a situation in this story?) And he is a knight being out and about. Ccino is safely at home and would be the safer option. But they would need a long time before ccino would feel comfortable with the idea.
Horror and Crop. Crop. Hands down. Horror with his work and Crop has help on the farm. But i doubt thwy would get a kid because they have along distance relationship.
Cross and Lust it depends on who wants it more. I can see both being the one who does it mostly because i can see pros and cons for both sides.
Reaper, Geno and Dust. Only one option. Reaper. Dust doesnt have a healthy enough soul and that with his spell around it? No way he can carry a kid. Geno meanwhile only has a soulshard so he isnt healthy enough to carry a kid either. Leaving only Reaper as an option.
Okay that was it. :D
Haha! Omg I keep forgetting this is smth I can think about! Usually it's not my scene so it might not cone up much in-stiry but it IS how I picture the cast having kids in this one, so!!! We're diving in!!
Like u said, those boys are adopting hehe-
With Dream and Blue it's a bit hard, because I think that Dream would be really really worried about Blue the entire time. Like, terrified his magic would accidentally trigger the whole Twin thing. But, ultimately, yeah, probably Blue! Dream *would* get too restless, and Blue rlly does deserve to be pampered hehe- (I just think Blue would have to really really talk Dream into it. Dream does NOT want to be like his mother anymore.)
Killer and Ccino... let's go with a yes on Killer's soul situation, so Ccino would be their only option. But, like you said, it would be ages before they even thought about discussing the idea, let alone actually having a kid.
Ohhh yeah. I see Horror and Crop as the ones least likely to have kids (as u said, long Distance relationship, but also they just have to much on their plates? They're practical guys and focus on their work and existing families first. Plus, someone has to be the cool uncles to their nieces and nephews!) But definitely Crop. Especially because Horror is pretty low on natural magic as-is and even though his soul is healthy, his body might not even be able to form a firm ecto, let alone anything safe to harbor a forming soul. (Unlike Ccino, Horror was born that way, and the injury didn't help lmao-)
Cross and Lust? I think they'd both regularly get baby fever, but neither of then would be ready to settle down for a *while* in that way, so I think they'd push off the question until years later. Then when it comes up, they 'fight' over it. Insisting that they should carry- I think they'd end up choosing Cross though! As much as Lust seems like the more convenient option, as he's not a knight, Cross is just built different and insists that if anything goes wrong he wants to be the one it happens to. Which, ofc, leads to him doing training whilst in the early stages until someone (probably Killer or Dust) notices he's a little off and then Cross admits he's got a soulling. He did not expect to immediately get horrified looks (because they were fighting someone with a lil guy inside them, not because he has a lil guy) or to immediately get ushered out of training and to his room because??? Idiot??? What were you thinking??? Cross is the worst at staying off his duties, but his brother's have him covered, thank god-
And yep, put perfectly! Reaper is so genuinely the only option! It leads to some odd interactions, since Reaper can't exactly stop being King, but he manages shockingly well and has Geno there to help him (and probably later on Dust, since Night isn't about to leave Dust out of that due to work-) And. I like to think these three in particular have multiple kids perhaps, Kane and then another, and it's kinda a running joke that Reaper's the one hauling them around lmao- (Also very convenient! Because Reaper is the one with death magic in his soul, the kids are effectively immune to it! They were made from that stuff basically, so ofc they're fine!)
#new age au#this ask hit me like a truck at first ngl#but it was actually really fun to think about so I committed and it helped me work on dynamics so ty Ancha!#(usually pregnancy gives me the ick but don't worry about it lol)#I really really love the image of Cross being stubborn and absolutely sure that he can train for a little while#at least until it really starts developing. no one will even notice! y'know? it'll be fine!#and he gets away with it pretty much until either Lust spills the beans at a dinner how far along they are or until Cross suddenly has an#ecto all the time and the others are suspiscious and get the answer out of him themselves lmao#bad first-time parent Cross my beloved. he loves the little soul so much. but was also not raised well.#people keep forgetting his awful childhood and that he's still not 100% sure what's normal 😭#also unrelated but Reaper is in such a situation- he doesn't care and neither does Geno but#it is SUCH a thing because. a king? a king is carrying? what about the wizard? the assassin? the partners he never shuts up about?#and because Dust's soul is a sensitive topic Reaper cones up with more abd more stupid reasons as to why he's the one who has it#'If Dust carried then the kid would be a citizen of Orchard. we can't have that!' is definitely one of them and it's said through giggles#okay enough of my rambling-#I love making characters into good parents (*COUGH* Ccino and Killee *COUGH*) but I also love making them horrendous at it at first while#alao lovibg their kids more than anything else (Cross. Lust. Probably Error. probably Dream-)#wait I lied#not done#Blue really has to beg Dream to let him carry like. so fr. because Dream refuses to risk it.#I think he'd make Blue promise that if twins started forming they'd nope out. yeet them and try again. which is a very heavy promise#for Dream to ask of Blue but... he agrees because he understands. ofc it doesn't come to that but I think it'd have to be the stipulation.#otherwise it'd be a Blue-only kid or nothing at all haha-#queuing this for the morning!
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new year, new WIP post! at the end of 2024 i had 8672 words edited and marked as Done on the Big WIP. now i'm up to 8865
#just a short section finished this time but it IS finished. & i did a lot on the next section too#im glad i took several weeks off from it i have come back Refreshed#going through in order now!! doing battle with chapter 2 which is the Cringe Chapter#it isnt actually. it's fine. but it's old and has a lot of side characters in it#so editing those scenes sometimes makes me recoil with embarrassment#been doing good with that though. cringe may not be dead but it is ailing#i made newt weirder in a few scenes#he didnt seem like himself. he needs to say like 10% more odd shit#and im almost done what im calling Chapter 2a for now#chapter 2 is gonna be too fuckin long and im almost done editing up to the earliest point i could insert the chapter break#so im calling that first bit 2a and the rest 2b#probably not where the break will actually go but we'll see. depends how long 2b ends up#dreading the point where i have to renumber the chapters lmao#they have titles but im so used to the numbers...#also i swapped the titles for ch3 and ch4 but if i renumber the chapters then ch3 will become the 4th chapter#so it'll be chapter 4 with the original ch4 title but the contents of what was ch3 💀#so. 2a and 2b until i bite the bullet and renumber#tin kitchen in the garret#ive levelled up from trying to edit some shorter more straightforward fics lmao#we are getting SO close to 10k words here. next section probably#also OH my god. google docs is so annoyed with me :/#WIP document is 385 pages and it's lagging real bad... i'm going to have to empty the 'discard' sections again so it'll stop but. uuuugh#copy pasting things into a 2nd document is such a pain... why...#google docs what is your problem. 400 pages shouldnt be a big deal#all of that isn't even 70k words!
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wip wednesday
dare i share. this is from in the nightfall -> prologue -> lucanis in the ossuary 🥲
With all of their arms fully extended towards the sky, the sea itself seemed to thrum, and in an instant, innumerable skeins of blood lifted from the trough, twirling through the air like ribbons. Lucanis started thrashing around, as much as he was capable, without even really meaning to — his mind knew there was no escape, even if his body had yet to accept the fact. Every rope of blood rose higher and higher, and they began to weave together, forming something akin to a net that circled the air above Lucanis. When the morbid creation was complete, the Venatori began chanting in a language Lucanis did not understand — something old, something dead. The net of blood pulsated to the rhythm of their words. And then the pain began. Lucanis collapsed to his knees, unaware of what was happening to him. He is the Demon of Vyrantium. Mage Killer. He had faced powerful mages before. He had been witness to incredible acts of magic, powered both by the Fade and by blood. He had seen atrocious things committed by magisters, and each time, the itch in his eyes morphed into a pain that was hard to ignore. He thought he understood the breadth of it, understood its limits and boundaries. He was wrong. This was something he felt at the absolute center of himself, the core of him, the core being torn apart, every fibre of himself, screaming screaming screaming, warning, begging— If this was allowed to happen, he would cease to exist.
tagging with no pressure @dellamortethelesser @andrigyn @dragon--sage and anyone else who has wips to share!! tag me I would love to read!
#lucanis in the ossuary is 8k+ rn yall. it'll probably be 10-11k once I'm done? IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS LONG#i have been possessed. in my defense it was necessary in order to convey the horror of being imprisoned there for so long#loretta and davrin's prologues are going to be miniscule in comparison lmao#anyway I should probably share wips more often so I don't get too discouraged with writing dfahsflsfkj#series: in the nightfall#lucanis#da:tv#dragon age#da:tv spoilers#my writing
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#sorry i could NOT get this out of my head when i read this ask. this is the funniest thing i have ever seen#just witnessed everybody saying that starstruck was sooo cute and soo precious in her big pink bow with her stupid little round cheeks#and ran begging into my inbox like PLEASE beat her the FUCK UP. okay!! absolutely!! as you wish it etc#i would never have actually done something this self indulgent without the prompt tbh but#joke's on you because the only characters i like throwing in the blender more than my faves are my sonas :)#you'll notice i only screenshotted it & this is not an answer to the actual ask. don't worry! it'll arrive some day#(this is jokeish in tone but i am genuinely delighted by this ask! never thought anyone would enjoy seeing stuff like that with my oc)#(always feel free to send me starstuck requests tbh!! even angst lmao. maybe i should throw her at galacta knight and see what happens)#(i think he'd just eat her whole in two bites like a strawberry cupcake ngl)
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f45b1d3981f1ee9223da207926c8b046/31dfa48175ee1aca-cb/s540x810/fb408c03d04a752a9cc05c9e61b1f14fd50ab4e0.jpg)
Gabby update, I did not find a single silver fabric I liked so I made a very bold holographic choice instead
#ultrakill#planning to try to get all the skirt pieces done today; i still have to line the edges with the gold#wanting to also try to measure out the chestplate and work forward from there#wanna go super detailed on the little virtue pattern in the middle of it + do designs on the arm guards#that's what the gold sheets are btw; that's all gonna come last bc it'll have to be fully by hand#so far I'm happy with the progress! i am. going to flashbang people by mistake 😭 can't look directly at me jdfjfk#excited to see how the skirt turns out bc all the little panels are. a nightmare lmao; i still have to do the belt and the little panel#on the back of the skirt as well but I'm making solid progress#shai speaks
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I don't want to hear a man's opinion of Yellowjackets, actually
#yellowjackets#if you don't know the fundamentals of a woman's lived experience then I don't wanna hear your theories#it'll be based on surface level shit#if you can't empathize with that experience then you'll be focusing on and unpacking the basics!!!#bc you have to do that before you get to the meat of the analysis#if a man has not done that work then irdc about his opinion lmao
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.
#tag: personal#I feel like I'm gonna part with this fandom this year#My hyper-fixation is finally coming to a halt with Cyberpunk#I hope it's just a small curve ball since I've been getting smashed by a brick with depression over the last month and a half#I've been dealing with 3 back to back losses I've been having a super hard time processing (one of them the most...)#those 3 individuals really changed me and I learned so many things from them and their way of going through life even when they struggled#and it fucking sucks having watched them get murdered in real time and seeing their bodies ugh (free palestine btw)#on top of that I've been hyper-fixating on Far Cry 5 and having a blast coming up with my new OC and her backstory#and just having fun playing other games and enjoying a fandom where (it's pretty much dead) but no drama#I feel like I'm kind of losing touch with my blorbos and I don't like that feeling and hopefully it'll come back buuuuuut who knows#I'm certainly not gonna force it... not anymore#I'll post VP when I feel like it not on a schedule anymore#I'll take VP when I'm in the mood and not force it#I'm still gonna mod cos I haven't lost that spark haha I still love modding but that's about all I'm gonna do everyday lmao#okie I'm done rambling <3#gonna go stare at my favorite seed brother now :))
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Today I worked on:
Disillusioned: 598 words
Last sentence written:
“Theia?” asked Danny, looking at the man curiously.
#today I worked on#1/14/2025#this chapter is getting close to done#I'm hoping no more than 1500 words left#but knowing me it'll somehow be 2500 lmao
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I have no idea what I'm doing.
#I have never done art for anything in my entire life and yet#this image of Pete tied up like that has been haunting me since the moment I saw it#I can barely use Krita and the outline is terrible and I've given up on drawing this twice and-#I don't know! All I know is that I want to bite him so hard it'll draw blood#and I have to give this energy somewhere#mostly sharing this to get it out of my system I don't even know if I'll draw more than this#pete saengtham#fanart#(lol. lmao even.)#artists I love you and I'm so jealous of your talent#thank you for existing and for sharing your art
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anyway i'm (very slowly) working on a lil meme doodle bc it's been in my brain for weeks now
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/021d85463b43bb16120fd53498d6c2e3/9e2c8202395b7a8f-6b/s400x600/8880ea002f13874bfad58dcb8836ac44c385b071.jpg)
#it looks bad rn. i mean it'll look bad when it's done too but lmao#i'm fixing it up & cleaning it up here and there as i find the energy#but it's v v slow going. i work for like 10 mins before i feel like giving up so i put it aside again lmfao#i also still Do Not have great supplies for this bc my pen doesn't have pressure recognition which is MISERABLE#but it is better than the last one i was using so. i'm muscling through out of sheer determination#and also bc I NEED to get this stupid thing outta my head lmao#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1a43c410658de023688fd402d836680d/9934f4e4e115cec7-8c/s540x810/42a74a05124a39aeea9c5fae085008ab5aca49dc.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1a3b6e3a355176cad39f71d3bdb884af/9934f4e4e115cec7-93/s540x810/4326119425488d3e153010dc78e245b748a1b856.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9f8933d7042594144bd2ed603b5f6813/9934f4e4e115cec7-05/s540x810/83d5897095e99ca74193d69466febbfe60c335b3.jpg)
This, the proof of my existence,
Let this be the catalyst
of my love
of my dignity
and the evidence of my belief
in my body to serve everything
beyond myself.
"Aldrnari."
-
A lengthy passage of my writing including a transcript of the above images beneath the cut. Translations will be in the replies.
This, the proof of my existence,
Let this be the catalyst
of my love
of my dignity
and the evidence of my belief
in my body to serve everything
beyond myself.
Through the harsh winds against the mountain face, the short bowings of Frea’s tagelharpa - strings played loose and softly - reverberated against the ice of the glaciers and the cold snow cushioning the land beneath their feet: the chill both a reminder of their living against heated skin, and the preservation of everything before them in its still permanence. From the horn, blowing distant into the dark, vibrant beauty of the night sparkling with glittery snow and stars that melted into the aurora within a canvas of black and violet night, was a sense of grounding.
So much had happened, and so much will - but for now, they stood, alive, atop the mountain face. It would, for now, be enough.
A night so still, and yet so alive, to be relished in with grace and weeping humbleness. What is to come after will be the same as it had before: the world will continue to turn, with them in it or not.
Raising a hand to their chest, Blóðhundr’s fingers grasped the jaw hanging from the leather string of their necklace. It felt frozen underneath the mercy of the biting wind. Tentative and slow, they began to drag the jewelry upward - pulling it off of their neck by lifting it above their head; looking down at what was a gift from their beloved, from a time that felt so long ago. They supposed it was.
Their other hand lifted the cover of their journal. Upon the pages that proved their existence in the form of their poem written from the previous night, they, after one more longing look upon the smooth, gently yellowed bone of teeth and mandible, thumbing over the divets of the mandibular and mental foramen, placed the coyote’s jaw onto the pages for weight.
Ný sól rís,
Ný dögun,
Með sóma,
Með kærleik.
“Aldrnari
Eldr bal bruni.”
“Hyr hiti
Logi seyðir.”
Through winds to sky,
The birds to keep cawing,
The wind to keep blowing,
with or without
you and me.
“Aldrnari
Eldr bal bruni.”
Unfettered in my mourning,
Jǫrð be our will
In our deaths and what life we've left to live.
“Hyr hiti
Logi seyðir.”
Heilir, mín nýr byrjun,
Með virðingu
Do I lay you to rest.
"Elddansurin."
“Aldrnari
Eldr bal bruni.”
Sofna upp frá þessu;
Mercy unto you
As you have given to me.
"Elddansurin."
“Hyr hiti
Logi seyðir.”
Að elska,
My greatest weakness,
Cradled by you:
My favorite memory.
"Elddansurin."
“Aldrnari
Eldr bal bruni.”
Leyf mik vilja þínn skilja.
“Elddansurin.”
“Hyr hiti
Logi seyðir.”
My traust into you I give
My body yours to carve
Your blóð mine to bear
And your grave mine to keep.
“Elddansurin.”
“Aldrnari
Eldr bal bruni.”
For now,
We lay in each other's arms
Flesh and bones in Earth's embrace
For what brevity we are allowed to be.
“Hyr hiti
Logi seyðir.”
May death be our home
As life was our respite;
Hann þarf þinn styrk.
Þú þarft hjarta hans frjótt.
#Tumblr formats writing uniquely and I have this passage written in a specific way that I can't really translate well on here#the quotations are meant to be formatted in the middle and the regular italicized are on the left hand side#quotations are lyrics to elddansurin; regular italicized are intended to be the aforementioned poem in Blóðhundr's journal#I don't expect this to get much traction but today's date is another important one like my reasoning for my last post#and it seemed fitting as an excuse to share my (self-proclaimed) greatest work and the love I'm crafting it with. sorry for the uh verbosit#and last minute if there Is a way to format writing in the way I've described then idk how to do on mobile lmao#with all that said. please enjoy my work 🩷#photography#my art#morelikesin#don't steal#original#finished#the way of the voice fic#late tag to explain to no one's necessity that the photo setting and the written passage setting aren't exact for a reason :]#it'll make more sense when the book is done. the artistic vision has to be trusted here#elddansurin heilung
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?????? Why did he tell me everything was fine if my insurance requires me to have been on hormones for 2 years to approve the procedure. . .why didn't he say they won't approve it if that wasn't the case. . .is that outdated information???? Maybe we can lie????
Am i seriously about to have all of my fucking hype crushed???? Maybe I can convince my doctors to lie for me or we can say I was doing it DIY for a few years. People ask how long I've been on hormones a lot because my voice is pretty deep and I look pretty masculine surely we could get away with this???
I feel really fucking beaten down now. Why not stop the discussion and go 'hey they require X amount of time on hormones'. . .I really hope I can convince my providers to fudge the truth for me a little or i'm going to lose my mind i seriously don't know how well i'm going to take it if i can't get this done???? Like I already feel so anxious at the thought. Please everything about me needs this. I am going to go fucking insane if this can't happen this year.
#i suddenly feel very stressed about my fourth floor window#i don't know if i'm going to direct the violence at myself or someone else and i'm just hoping i won't have violence to direct at all#i feel so so fucking stressed out. why wasn't this the first thing i was told???????????#please please cooperate with me doctor and therapist please i haven't felt suicidal in over a year please we cannot ruin this#i feel dizzy i feel dizzy i feel dizzy i'm too stressed about this please i'm gonna fucking break down i'm gonna fucking cry what if they#say no what if they want proof i was doing it before i met them i'm feeling so lightheaded and i'm lying down lmao???#what if i say i was on hormones before and i had to stop taking them will that throw a wrench in things????? i'm going to lose my shit#guys my year may be fucking ruined everything was going so well despite the state of the world despite everything#i need these women to lie for me. one small lie for one dumb fucker's wellbeing. surely they can agree to this? surely if i tell them how#scared i am they'll agree to say one little lie for me#i feel like scratching myself til i bleed rn hhhhhaaaa didbcueiebdj good thign i cut my nails the other day because them shits were SHARP#okay. okay. all i have to do is ask. i may not get an answer from one until tomorrow but these are very good people they have been#kind to me so far and good to me so far and they understand how important this is#my doctor has a nonbinary kid!!!! surely she'll be able to ask them for advice if she isn't sure please i'm going to throw up and i haven't#even eaten yet please don't take this out from under me this close. please don't rip this away from me when everything is going so well#please don't try and take this from me under this current administration that's trying to take everything from us#please#danie yells at existence#suicidal ideation cw#self harm mention?#I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TAG THIS I'VE NEVER FELT SO BAD I HAD TO GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD HERE BEFORE i'm gonna send them messages and hope they#respond soon. if they don't. idk. i ask how much it'll be out of pocket#i wanna rock back and forth i need to eat and take my meds i wish i'd done that before i got started#like damn i bet my anti-anxiety meds would have been REALLY helpful right about now! shame i haven't taken them since yesterday!#and i didn't take the ones i'm supposed to take last night either because i was so distracted by. ider what i was doing the insomnia was#kicking my ass til about 6am though#so I'm running on like nothing here. which isn't helping.#i know. i know if it doesn't happen i'll live i'll survive i'll be fine but mother of god jt doesn't feel like it#it doesn't feel like it'd be worth it to have to like like this for two more years#i've already been living like this for like. idk. at least 12 years.
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