#thank you for existing and for sharing your art
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I have no idea what I'm doing.
#I have never done art for anything in my entire life and yet#this image of Pete tied up like that has been haunting me since the moment I saw it#I can barely use Krita and the outline is terrible and I've given up on drawing this twice and-#I don't know! All I know is that I want to bite him so hard it'll draw blood#and I have to give this energy somewhere#mostly sharing this to get it out of my system I don't even know if I'll draw more than this#pete saengtham#fanart#(lol. lmao even.)#artists I love you and I'm so jealous of your talent#thank you for existing and for sharing your art
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reminder to make bad art.
a lot of us feel some combination of numb / hopeless / discouraged / scared / angry / etc etc etc. make bad art.
if you’ve thought about writing a poem or painting something or taking a photo or dancing but you haven’t bc you don’t think it’ll be good enough, try anyways. make bad art.
if you’re feeling something and you don’t really know what it is and you find it difficult to let yourself feel it, make bad art. it’ll come out.
make bad art. it will save you from paralysis.
#i’ve written a bunch of poetry lately#which is unexpected bc i’m not really a poet#but it’s been life saving to like …#sit on my lil tree stump#and write my lil poem#and it turns out if you make bad art sometimes it’s good actually!#like sometimes it’s bad and that’s fine bc all the art needed to do is exist#and sometimes it turns out good#and then you have something to share with your friends#so.#in conclusion.#make bad art.#thanks.
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Well... what can I say :|
#my art#jabbernaty#fantasy romance#romantasy#It's half past 2am#It's the only time I would be brave enough to include this little photo and my romantasy complains xD#there's a lot of tropes I don't like in this kind of books and a lot of them align with your dislikes you left under my previous post#thank you for sharing btw!#also#there are fated mates on the list and I also write a story where soulmates exist but hear me out#✨it's different✨#I'm serious#I don't like this trope so I wanted to change things about it xD#anyway... hope it makes sense#oh and the drawing doesn't depict anyone particular#it's just that the characters often look pretty similar#also this is not to be mean#I also like some of those characters
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Read your post earlier about being harassed by some scum and just want to say I'm sorry to hear about it my dude (idk your pronouns I'm sorry, but I call everyone dude regardless of gender.) It can be quite hard sometimes, just simply existing and being nonsensically bothered for it. I can understand this quite well as a visible butch, whenever I'm out alone, I'm always slightly afraid of being confronted (if I'm not mistaken for being a boy first.) But no matter where you look, there will be assholes. Yet on the other hand, there are perhaps more lovely, kind human beings out there. Whenever your art comes on my dashboard, it makes me chuckle to see the mountain of wonderful jedtavious pieces that you've created. It might seem hard in those moments when you're being harassed and the overwhelming wave of fear of confrontation hits you, but know that the wave will eventually pass, even if it seems like your drowning. Get well soon my dude and to quote Jedidiahs bestie Arthur Morgan, you're ok boah
This made me tear up, thank you.
I know there are kind people out there behavior (this ask is proof of that, someone who doesn't know me being kind for no reason other than that they can), it's just that society promotes bad behavior. It's 'normal' for some people to pick on others for a quick laugh, it's what they were taught growing up. I have hope that the new generation of kids will be better on that regard, have more compassion for the people around them. Patriarchy hurts everyone but that's common knowledge at this point.
And I know my existence does not warrant harassment, it's just hard to acknowledge that all the time. The negative confrontations stick to my brain and it's like a pile, building up until it becomes too hard to ignore.
I have that mentality that you should treat people how you want to be treated (just like newton's 3rd law, or is it the 2nd?) and it really sucks that this isn't the reality we're living in. No matter how kind you try to be there are always some bad apples out there.
I'm glad my drawings bring some joy to people, it really means a lot to me (I'm always very critical of my 'art' so relieving compliments is very awkward? in the sense that i never know how to respond without sounding robotic).
Thank you for taking time out of your day to send me this long paragraph, I really appreciate it.
Btw I too think dude, bro, gurlll etc are gender neutral.
I'm really bad at words, I can't articulate my thoughts very well so I hope I'm not coming off as I'm uninterested or ungrateful.
#also thank you for sharing your personal experience as a butch. lets all hope in a better world were we can just exist in peace#I don't know how weird that may sound but I don't like pronouns. I don't want any. no 3rd person pov for me#I'd like they/them pronouns but I don't know if I'm worthy of them because I don't know if I'm nonbinary#but I'm not gonna crucify anyone for using she/he pronouns on me. I'd be too embarrassed to correct them anyway#my native language is gendered so it's practically impossible to not use pronouns (he. she. it)#anywayzzzzz#thank you again for this#long post#ask#anonymous#answered#not art#text
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AGNUS DEI
Charcoal, acrylic and oil paint on canvas
48" x 32" x 1.5"
2024
This piece is dedicated to the memory of our beautiful transgender sister, Kitty Monroe. She was killed on the very first day of 2024 in my hometown of Phoenix, Arizona.
#Queer bodies exist as the roadkill of our society.#We are something gross#pushed off to the side of the road#and uncomfortably avoided when possible.#I find kinship in the beauty and the horror of rotting animals.#Just like our act of living as transgender beings is often treated with horror#disgust#and violence#I find solace in the immutable truth that we all come to rest in the cradle of the earth’s crust.#We all turn to rot.#And we all are immeasurably more beautiful for it.#I will never forget you Kitty. Thank you for sharing your story and your beauty with the world.#painting#contemporary art#southwest gothic#southwest art#roadkill#oil painting#lgbtq artist#lgbtq artwork#happy pride folks#my art
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I posted 1,695 times in 2022
That's 1,684 more posts than 2021!
39 posts created (2%)
1,656 posts reblogged (98%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@officersnickers
@just-like-playing-tag
@bluelric
@tricksteroftheheart
@swarm-of-rabid-bees
I tagged 1,695 of my posts in 2022
#the promised queueland - 1,145 posts
#emma - 899 posts
#ray - 857 posts
#norman - 707 posts
#full score trio - 400 posts
#escape arc - 358 posts
#tpn s1 - 312 posts
#introduction arc - 243 posts
#king of paradise arc - 229 posts
#rayemma - 197 posts
Longest Tag: 125 characters
#̶(̶a̶l̶s̶o̶ ̶r̶a̶y̶ ̶u̶r̶ ̶m̶a̶r̶r̶i̶e̶d̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶u̶r̶ ̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶g̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶a̶t̶c̶h̶)̶
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Norman in S1e05 @ Ray’s mental state after finding out he’s been helping Isabella for half his entire life.
138 notes - Posted March 20, 2022
#4
250 notes - Posted August 30, 2022
#3
Me @ Ray every time I go back to the Introduction and Escape Arcs, “The First Shot” bonus chapter, and the Grace Field light novel stories, without fail: my dear sweet child how the hell are you even alive
359 notes - Posted March 24, 2022
#2
Other people: *lovingly describing Norman’s eyes in fic with vivid prose*
Me: His Trix™ yogurt cotton candy eyes 💙💗
617 notes - Posted March 15, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
677 notes - Posted February 14, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#Long Post#FSS Chatter#these posts are how i know someone new's been inspired to go in the main tag lol#that longest tag one is such bs kjfskfd generator is cheating#me when i tag ALL the posts bc i have an obsession with organization and/or going on mini rambles 💪😤#PSA all the people in my most reblogged are super cool 💖💝💌💕💗#thank you all for the good TPN vibes and for not minding me spamming your notifs with said rambling 💞🥺🤧 I'm glad you all exist!! 💝#also Snickers I've said this already but I'm happy you decided to share your art here too instead of just hosting it on deviantart#because that led to me finding it and us becoming friends and having many nice chats about TPN 🖤🧡🤍🙏😌 a patron saint of REN#anyways technically happy one-year anniversary of this blog 🎊🥳🎉#i didn't really start using it until Feb 14th when I made that manga edit featured here#but ya know technically reblogged a few posts in December 2021 before I made the full commitment to brainrot#here's to another year of it!! i hope to be more active now that the holidays are over and we enter the doldrums of January#something as a child I lamented but now as an adult I can't wait lmao i am so tired _(:△」∠)_
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PREV
okay we need some positivity rn so let's play a game and please say something nice to the person who reblogged this
#PREV#I FEEL THE SAME THING#THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE WHENEVER I POST A NEW ART PIECE OR SOMETHING OC RELATED#THIS IS TRULY THE GREATEST TIMELINE BECAUSE I GOT TO BECOME FRIENDS WITH YOU#I'M GLAD TO BE YOUR AUDIENCE AND TO KEEP PUSHING YOU TO CREATE AND SHARE WITH THE WORLD ON TUMBLR#AND I KNOW I'VE ALREADY SAID IT BUT I'LL SAY IT AGAIN THANKS FOR BEING AS PASSIONATE AS YOU ARE WITH YOUR OCS AND INSPIRING ME TO DO THE#SAME WITH MINE#I'M GLAD YOU EXIST AND YOU GENUINELY CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER#THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!!!!! AND I ALSO LOVE YOU PLATONICALLY!!!#🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🤍🖤🤍🖤🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🤍🖤🤍🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤
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Damian Wayne x Child! Reader (Part 1) - This won't do —☆
Synopsis: after seeing the state of your apartment Damian pulls some strings and changes your life on step at a time.
Masterlist , Pillager Of Art
"Are your parents attending the pta meeting?" Damian asks.
After seeing the wretched state your house was in Damian chose to stand at the door.
The moldy yellow floor of your apart was covered in dirt and whatever substances you managed track back into the house. The walls in the same sorry state with a moldy yellow wallpaper that was covered in nasty cracks and stains that could never be removed.
The tiles of your flooring were covered in a bottomless pit of clothes and whatever else was in that pile. Your window didn't show some immaculate view of Gotham City instead it was closed off with would. Glass shards left on the floor in front of the window after a stray bullet was shot through your window.
"Oh my Dad, he's not coming" you say as you make your way towards your kitchen.
Damian couldn't bare looking into the kitchen to see what mess was made in their so he chose to stair the ceiling instead.
"Why not?" He tilts his head to the side, he was told by Alfred that events like these were the only way to see how your child was progressing and apparently it was mandatory for parents to attend so why weren't your coming?
"Oh, my parents are dead" you said as if It didn't bother you and it didn't.
Your mother had sadly passed away during child birth.
Your dad tho...
He was a piece of work, never cared for your well-being AT ALL. You basically raised yourself in this house. The only reason you hadn't starved yet was because your father left food in the cupboard for you to use (mostly unhealthy cheap food).
You barely ever saw your dad and when he died you hadn't even noticed, not like he ever came home anyway. The only way you knew was when the news broadcast came on and you saw a blurred out image of a man that vaguely resembled your father.
There were several gunshot holes scattered around the figures body and by the looks of it he was probably just getting off of work before the death occurred.
The situation never bothered you, having no adults around was a blessing if anything.
"My parents can't come but I'll wait with you until your dad does" you replied and gasped when you found what you were looking for.
"Dami you have to try one" you turned to him with a cup of ramen noodles in hand.
"No thank you, aren't there other options?" he asked as he began to list off foods he'd already eaten before.
Safe to say, you hadn't even know those foods existed or eaten anything that wasn't microwavable.
This wouldn't do.
When he left your house that evening he made it his mission to find a way to get you out of that situation.
And that he did, when the day of the PTA meeting arrives Damian is oddly quiet. Not as if he talked much anyway.
While you both waited for his dad to finish speaking with the teachers he'd a held a tight grip on your hand as if to silently tell you not to run off anywhere.
"Dami I still don't know why you told me to bring all my stuff with me, are we having a sleepover?" You asked, you were told to bring all necessities which means that you needed your tooth brush and whatever you could salvage from that mess of a house.
"You'll know when we get there" he said calmly which only made your excitement grown even more. He was already pretty used to your energetic behavior so this was nothing.
At last the meeting had finished and you were all exiting he building.
"Is this the friend you told me about Damian" his father spoke up only to receive a nod in return.
You had never noticed how eerily similar they look but now that you were stood right before him you realized noticed the shared features.
"(Reader) right" Bruce got down in one knee so he could speak to you at eye level. Now, extending invitations to join the family weren't an everyday occurrence but if his son was so hard pressed on your living conditions and even brought up good points as to why you can't live there.
Plus he knew you were a good kid.
"A little Birdy informed me of your living conditions and they wanted me to extend an exciting offer to you" he spoke to you in a way that made your excitement peak.
You were so excited that you hadn't even noticed when you got in the car or when you arrived at the manor or when you arrived at Damian's bedroom door.
For you everything went by quickly, so quickly that when you woke up the next morning you couldn't even remember why you were in Damian's house or why you were currently bundled up across from his sleeping face.
He must've bundled you up while you were asleep. He was always considerate but rarely ever showed you that side of him.
"Dami, I need to go home" you said groggily.
"Your not going anywhere" he instantly replied.
"But I can't stay here forever, I need to go home" you said in a worried tone but he only raised a brow.
"I knew you weren't listening" he sighed.
"Just go back to sleep" he waved his hand in front if your face which seemed to do the trick because you were knocked out within seconds.
And just like that you were silently adopted into the family.
#batfam#batfam x reader#batfam x you#batfamily#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul x reader#damian wayne x reader#bruce wayne#batman#batman x child! reader#batman x child reader#damian wayne x you#damian wayne x y/n#dc x you#dc#dc x reader
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dreamboat | jjk (1)
summary: aboard the dreamboat, jungkook finds himself drawn to a beautiful stranger who appears to be drowning in melancholy. weeks later, he sees her face on the other side of the aquarium at his apartment building’s lobby. he soon learns that it’s not fate’s grand romantic plans that brought you back to his life. / (alt.) / a shipwreck and a dreamboat form an unusual bond in an aquarium.
non!idoljk x f!reader (jk is a business major who works at the amusement park ; oc works at the call center) / strangers to lovers / fluff, angst, suggestive / chapter wc: 14.9k / total fic wc: 30.8k
warnings/content (for full fic): is it an onlyswan fic if nobody cries? ; smoking ; making out ; mention of nude art ; mention of flashing ; panic attack ; a ghost cameo lol ; s*x scandal ; abuse of authority ; harrassment ; jk throws a punch once ; oc drives a motorbike without a helmet once ; vminjin + yeontan cameos :3 ; tae and jk are the same age tho
-> part two (wc: 15.9k) | spotify playlist (open to song recs <3)
note: my not so little summer project <3 i thought i wouldn’t have the opportunity to dedicate this much time to writing again in the near future so here we are! finishing this story alone felt fulfilling but even more so that i get to share it with you. pls treat it with gentle care 🫂 reblogs and feedback r very much appreciated i love talking to you guys🥺 special thanks to my lovely rio for proofreading and being the sweetest friend :") ilyily
࿐ for those who yearn <3
—
“wait! wait for me! don’t close it yet!”
jungkook’s whole life has led up to this moment.
from running away from his neighbor’s large snobby dogs during childhood— to participating in run for charity marathons mostly, only mostly, to appease his ex-girlfriend by being interested in her interests.
he successfully escaped from his uneventful class today by faking dizziness. half an hour later, he is racing towards one of the few places in this city where he feels something.
his best friend’s face is still blurry given the distance, but jungkook doesn’t need to clearly see taehyung’s face to know that he is looking at him unimpressed.
“why are you here? do you even have a ticket?!” taehyung interrogates him once he reaches the gate.
“do i have a ticket? really?” jungkook smirks, tossing his backpack to the ground.
he crosses over to the other side, and with ease, sneaks his hand in between the bars to push the lock into place.
“what do you think i work here for?”
taehyung sighs and mumbles to himself. “fine, my bad. thought we worked to pay for our bills.”
he picks up the backpack and swings it over his shoulder, heading to the control booth. on the other hand, jungkook climbs on the ship the amusement park owner lovingly named the dreamboat. he places his grip on one of the many vines curiously large butterflies are attached to, fully ignoring the existence of the steps. he hoists himself up onto the wooden floor with ease.
unhappy faces with blank stares.
he smiles at them cheerfully.
“i apologize for the hold-up. i’m your captain!”
“jungkook! sit!”
“wouldn’t he be the captain?” a high school boy at the very front quips, eyes pointing downwards at taehyung.
“eh, more like the wind behind our sails.” he ruffles the boy’s head in passing as he trudges over to his desired seat.
“what?”
his spot, a more suitable better term. the farthest row which most first timers do not dare to sit at; the part of the ship closest to the sky when it swings back and forth, higher and higher, until it feels like he’s going to fall off— but he doesn’t. for short bursts of moments, he’s flying.
the passengers are erupting in ear-splitting screams, curses, and laughter. the wide smile plastered on his face could probably be described as sadistic as he observes their reactions. most would find this ride as a nauseating, life-threatening ordeal and its name ridiculously ironic. however, to jungkook, this is what it means to be alive.
he imagined he would be alone here again today.
but as he is brought higher into the air, he discovers one person strapped to the last row of the other side of the ship.
the earth begins to move in slow motion.
they have their face buried in their palms, body shaking with what he can only guess is intense sobbing.
gone is the smile on his face.
jungkook has witnessed a few criers, sure, but not to this degree. a wave of sadness washes over him. he feels guilty and he doesn’t know why. why the hell would he be? he doesn’t even know who you are.
are you that scared? if you’re scared, why would you volunteer to go here alone? if not, then why is your heart breaking?
for a few seconds, the noises cease and his focus on you becomes amplified.
and why is his breaking too?
your sobs and gasps for air are once more drowned out by the fear and adrenaline of the majority. nevertheless, the ache they caused in his chest stays.
what could it be? the reason you’re crying like this at an amusement park? wouldn’t it be because you got stood up by your date?
lost in thought, he’s been unblinking. the wind blows as the speed of the boat picks up and he groans when dirt gets into his eye. he harshly rubs and rubs and he stops to check if it’s gone… he knows it’s gone because now he can see clearly— one of the most beautiful people he has laid his eyes upon.
the wind blows into your hair and it finally grants him a good view of your face. red, swollen eyes and mascara running. you wipe your tears away, distant eyes falling on your lap, and you take a sharp inhale. you’re a tragedy and so gorgeous still that the aching of his heart doubles due to its intensified pounding.
there’s no way… he debunks his theory. there’s no way a man could ever waste the opportunity of going on a date with you. only a fool.
slow motion comes to a full stop.
shit, shit, shit.
why can’t he look away?
you’ve made eye-contact and you’re not breaking it.
he nervously swallows the lump in his throat.
“huh?”
the ringing of the bell snaps him out of… whatever that experience was. he looks around and it is revealed to him that the ship has returned to its neutral position. passengers are already hopping off, including you.
wait, including you…
when did you get a cap?!
“fuck!” he curses, kicking his feet in annoyance.
he then proceeds to break the promise he swore to himself: never run after a girl again.
“yah, jungkook! where are you going?! you need to clock in!”
taehyung releases yet another sigh as he loses his best friend among the crowd. nearly at the same time, he hears a thud that originates from the control booth. he blankly stares at the backpack that mysteriously fell off the chair.
“does he have snacks in here at least?”
—
blue tube top and black baseball cap worn backwards. blue top and black cap. blue top and black cap. jungkook chants in his head like a maniac as he navigates the grounds, trying his best not to lose sight of your back. sweat has started to form as beads on his forehead. he squeezes one eye shut, wary of the sting, before wiping them away with the back of his hand.
he ran with all his might, but now that you’re almost within reach, he’s suddenly nervous.
“miss- miss! you dropped this!”
you turn around abruptly so his fingers end up only grazing your arm. the first thing he notices is your knitted eyebrows. he doesn’t know whether it mostly indicates annoyance or confusion.
you merely glance at the handkerchief on his open palm. “it’s not mine.”
you walk away from him and you are a magnet he is curiously drawn to.
he stands in front of you, sweaty and stuttering like a student introducing himself to a class for the very first time.
“but are you okay? i-i couldn’t help but to notice that you were cry- uh, uhm… you-you seem to have troubles.”
he clears his throat, turning his cheek for a second as to avoid melting under your intense gaze. he marvels at your beauty but he can’t pull himself together to admire it from a close distance.
“sorry, i don’t mean to pry. i’m just concerned.”
seconds pass and he doesn’t receive any sort of answer. no affirmative nod; not even a roll of the eyes. you stare at his face blankly as your feet become rooted into the ground. strands of your hair dance with gusts of the wind. it could be a haunting sight. your glossy eyes are reminiscent of deep, turbulent waters. there was a twinge of doubt on the accuracy of his words before, however, it now seems to ring true.
could it really be because of a boy?
a bicycle enters his line of vision.
a little too close not to cause an accident.
“move!” he yells out the warning, but he still takes matters into his own hands by pushing you over to the side and using his own body as a shield.
the bicycle speeds past and the rider screams something unintelligible.
jungkook’s nostrils flare. “kid, that’s not allowed in here! where did you come from?!”
the security guard running after the rule-breaker moves past him, but not before hitting his back with the baton.
“jungkook! why didn’t you stop him?!”
“yah! what was that for?!”
he scoffs, glaring towards the direction of the intruder and his co-staff, who has an entirely different job from him. why didn’t he stop him?!
while he was distracted by the commotion, he was also unaware that you managed to swipe the handkerchief loosely hanging from his grip around your arm.
his angry expression softens.
you wipe away your tears that are freely flowing against your will. earlier, you were sobbing. right now, your face is devoid of any expression. he can’t decide which is more heartbreaking.
“are you okay?” he carries on to ask again despite the both of you knowing the answer, but he just doesn’t know what else to do.
“i’m okay,” you say. “thanks for finding my handkerchief… and for saving me from the- the, yeah…”
you’re about to walk out of his life until his mouth blurts out- “wait! take this!”
he wishes the ground would swallow him whole. you blink at the small packet of sour gummies on his open palm and he wishes the ground would swallow him whole.
even he thinks this is ridiculous. he had a handkerchief in the left pocket of his jacket and now it’s yours. he had gummy worms in the right and for some reason he also wants you to have it.
“why?”
he has the same question.
“just because…”
no, that won’t do it.
“maybe it could make you feel better.”
oh my god.
“if you decide to ride the spinning top… it helps when you’re nauseated.”
still with the unreadable expression, you probe no further and accept his edible remedy.
“thank you.” you politely bow before taking your leave.
he doesn’t run after you this time. after all, his pockets are empty.
meeting you— this is probably the first and last time.
he exhales through his mouth. disappointed. he turns around and tries to look for you again.
blue top and black cap…
there you are.
leaving-
wait.
the spark of hope quickly fizzles out. you pull your hand out of your pocket, tossing something into one of the trash bins. he’s too far away to identify the item, but it couldn’t be… right?
he huffs in sheer disbelief.
“huh, she’s pretty and rude.”
—
if he’s being honest, jungkook doesn’t like this job much. graphic design is there, and it’s been a pretty sweet gig especially when he’s desperate for extra cash. anyway, taehyung got this job first, which took away time from their regular hangouts, so he would often visit his best friend during his free periods at the university. long story short, one of the managers scolded them both for playing around throughout taehyung’s shift, and as a punishment, she employed jungkook.
she is the reason why he is spending his sunday morning putting on strangers’ seatbelts and lap bars so they won’t fall off the rollercoaster and die. he was trained to double-check everything, but he is a bit more paranoid about lawsuits than the management, so despite the extra waiting time some passengers aren’t happy about, he makes that triple.
as fast as he can, while maintaining meticulousness, he does his final round of checking. so far, everyone is safely strapped to their seats. until he reaches the last row and finds the only person there with their lap bar unlocked. how did he miss that?
“ma’am, your lap bar isn’t secured. do you mind if i-”
the woman shakes her head without a word. as he gets to work, his eyes can’t help but to stray. most of her face is hidden by a face mask and sunglasses. it’s kind of funny because it’s actually been a gloomy day.
“ah, there you go. safe and sound!”
“thanks,”
he flashes her a bright smile. the last and apparently most important employee rule.
“you’re welcome!”
—
“why aren’t you eating?” taehyung asks with a mouthful of corndog.
jungkook lifts his head up from the table, sends him a glare, then drops it again. he didn’t get much sleep last night studying for their upcoming tests. he’d much rather spend his whole lunch break with his eyes closed. he’d go as far as saying that moving his jaw to chew food sounds like exerting too much energy and he couldn’t be bothered.
“change shifts with me. i fucking hate sundays.”
“depends…” taehyung pretends to be in deep thought. “will you buy me a meal everyday until our shifts rotate again?”
“do you want to die?”
“no, but it looks like you will before me.”
jungkook yawns, sleepy tears flowing down his temple. “you might be right…”
“were you up all night thinking of that girl?”
“huh? no.”
“you’re lying.”
“shut up,” he groans, adjusting himself into a more comfortable position.
so a beautiful stranger has been plaguing his mind. big deal! happens to the best of us.
taehyung cackles at his demise, thoroughly amused. “why? didn’t she throw away your gift?”
“it wasn’t a gift.” he argues. “and i know, she’s exactly my type.”
“bro, you’re fucking hopeless.”
“i know that too,” he calmly replies. “i kind of miss her.”
“at least it’s not your ex anymore, i guess.” taehyung mutters before obnoxiously sipping on his strawberry lemonade. “want to sneak into the security camera room? i’m curious. i want to see her.”
“can’t you just let me sleep?!”
“wow, you’re so grumpy today.”
took him long enough to deduce.
“then should we go after your nap?”
“i need to work!” jungkook snaps. he straightens his back, rubbing his face in frustration. “go- go do whatever you want!”
taehyung’s chewing slows down, appearing almost scared at his best friend’s outburst, but everything is a game with the two of them. “but i don’t know what she looks like.”
jungkook sighs, squeezing his eyes shut.
“okay, fine!”
in a state of exaggerated panic, taehyung gathers his things in one clean sweep, cradling them in his arms.
“i’m leaving!” he dashes out of the break room as if he’s running for his life.
jungkook huffs out a laugh at the comedic scene. as soon as his smile drops, so does his head.
—
it’s past midnight, which means it’s already friday. jungkook has been glued to the computer for the past three hours, working on a brochure he was commissioned to make. this task would go along smoothly if only his client didn’t have such a long list of demands, but alas, he is desperate for a good review after his past client’s four paragraph-long criticism. a boomer’s opinions hardly matter to him, but he knows how a single bad review alone can negatively affect reputation.
one thing’s for sure, everyone’s making it hard for him to fucking quit energy drinks.
he tosses the empty can into the trash bin beside his desk. away with his anti-radiation glasses, too. it lands in an awkward position over his keyboard. he couldn’t care less. everything hurts.
he keeps his eyes closed as he stretches his fingers, neck, and back with strained moans and grunts. the sweet relief causes him to slump lazily on his chair. at that moment, an internal battle starts. should he do the responsible thing and continue working? or should he just say fuck it and go to bed?
“no but seriously! why would she throw them away?!”
completely unrelated.
a thousand miles away from the topic at hand.
“jungkook!” taehyung growls from the bed, furiously pressing at the buttons of the controller. “it’s been two weeks! when are you going to move on?”
jungkook spins the chair to face him with a deadpan expression. the ps5 hogger is too focused on the television screen to even notice.
“you wouldn’t expect it but those aren’t cheap.”
“then maybe you shouldn’t have given it away to a stranger.” taehyung shrugs. “but that’s just me.”
“that was out of my control.” jungkook defends. “you should’ve seen her.”
“well, you wouldn’t let me.” taehyung mumbles, but he obviously wanted him to hear. “no thanks. crying at the amusement park? she’s got to have some real issues.”
“so what? we all got issues.”
“not me,” he sends jungkook a smirk. “if i don’t acknowledge them, they’re not there.”
“and that, my friend…” jungkook has decided to retire from his work area tonight. he pats taehyung’s shoulder as a display of faux sympathy. “is your biggest issue.”
wearing a childish grin, he grabs the other controller from the floor.
“now, shall we rank up?”
—
it’s been a few days since summer vacation started. he normally comes home to busan during the school breaks for a temporary taste of childhood bliss. he spends the entire day watching television, eating home-cooked meals, and not thinking about requirements at all.
too bad his vacation is suspended due to his adult responsibilities.
at least that’s the excuse he used.
his family has been staying with relatives for the past month because their home is currently under renovation. and well, jungkook’s dorm is suffocating enough on his own. staying under one roof with nine other people? hard. pass.
he may or may not be regretting that decision now, however. all of a sudden, coming home from work with a bag full of ramyeon and beer feels too depressing. even more so that he has no one to share them with. all of his friends have gone home. taehyung, too. he found someone who could temporarily fill in his place and did not think twice about leaving jungkook behind. he can’t blame him.
jungkook enters the apartment building. as always, quiet and dim. he gets that the owner is trying to save money, but isn’t it a bit too early to start turning off the lights? he rolls his eyes despite the lack of a witness.
they are very lucky that he has grown somewhat fond of this place.
jungkook allows himself to be roped in by the only source of warm light in the lobby. he finds himself incredibly silly for being entertained by goldfishes swimming around in an aquarium, but after a hectic day, this is where his brain cools down.
“hello everyone,” he coos at them.
do fishes even react to baby talk? he wouldn’t know. the only pet that lasted him years and is still alive is their family dog, gureum.
“how was your day? i hope it was better than mine.”
—
on the other side of the aquarium stands you, watching a boy talk to the fishes while he is blissfully unaware of your presence. an endeared smile graces your face unbeknownst to you.
eventually, there arrives a moment when most of the fishes favor a certain side and they clear out before his eyes.
that is when he finally notices you.
your heart begins to race, but he appears to be more shocked than you are. you stand up straight nearly at the same time.
despite the dark, they’re impossible to miss. his breathtaking eyes— which were filled with pure wonder and adoration only seconds ago— growing in size as soon as they saw yours.
“i know you…”
a bucket of ice cold water is dumped over your head.
“the girl who cried at the dreamboat!”
and while you do not appreciate the rather ungentlemanly pointing of finger, you’re glad to be able to breathe out a sigh of relief.
well, and there’s also the crippling shame.
you didn’t want your first impression on anyone to be the most pitiful version of yourself.
it’s been over a month for fuck’s sake. how does he remember your face so well?
“wow,” he gapes. “you changed your hair.”
you touch your hair, feeling a little conscious.
is that a good thing or a bad thing?
it’s your first time changing your hair color; plus, the last time you had bangs was in middle school. it’s been weeks since you had the big transformation, but you’re not quite sure how you feel about it yet.
“yeah, light pink…”
“it suits you well.”
“thanks,” is all you manage to respond with.
a gust of awkward silence passes by. there’s the instinct to run away— knocking at your brain, pulling at your limbs. but you can’t think of an excuse. your feet won’t move… eventually you stop minding that. the goldfishes are too beautiful to look away from. they work as the perfect distraction from the other soul standing across.
“so, um- i’ve never seen you around here.”
“i moved in today.”
“oh, i see… that makes sense.”
you hum to fill the quietness that follows, thinking of what else you could say, but he beats you to it.
“i live at the 13th floor.“
what did he say? do you live on the same floor? that’s impossible.
“how about you?”
“hm, 10!”
you blurt out the first number that pops into your mind. you quickly pretend like you’re not freaking out inside by shifting the topic.
“do they-” you gesture to the aquarium. “do they have names?”
“names?”
the random question seems to catch him off guard.
“none that i’m aware of.” he shakes his head. “i don’t think so- no.”
“oh…” your shoulders sag in disappointment. “that’s sad.”
but then again, you should’ve lowered your expectations and reminded yourself where you are. they were not bought as pets. they were bought for display.
—
the last time jungkook saw you was over a month ago. maybe your face is a tad different because you’re not crying. the new color of your hair compliments you in a way unlike before’s yet just as beautiful. the bangs make much of the difference too. he doesn’t know how old you are, but you look younger somehow. from his point-of-view, he could say that much has changed. but not the melancholia.
he watches you gaze into the aquarium in fascination; the lights reflect on your eyes as little twinkling stars. you’re not crying, but why can he still feel your sadness?
he once told taehyung that if you meet again, he’d give you hell for throwing his sour gummies away.
funny enough, that plan went out the window the second he laid his eyes on you again.
“do you want to feed them?” he offers.
“i already did.”
“you did?”
“i did,” you look up at him innocently, nodding. “i asked the guard.”
“aish, he didn’t tell me.” he throws his arms up with a groan. “i almost overfed them.”
you perk up with interest. “do you always feed them?”
“when i come home from work.”
“that’s nice…”
the soft smile you give him makes his heart skip a beat, but he doesn’t know it yet.
“sorry, um-” you begin smoothing out your clothes, also tucking your hair behind your ears. “i need to get to work. it was nice meeting you.”
“work?” he exclaims. “at this time?”
“graveyard shift,” you simply answer.
pictures of the dark alleyways immediately flash in his mind.
“but it’s dangerous to be roaming around here at this time.”
his radar doesn’t detect crimes being reported around the neighborhood, but with the majority of the building’s occupants being young adults, the streets are often littered with drunkards who have many things to be angry about.
“oh, i don’t walk. i’ve got a bike.”
he hasn’t known you long, but this is the most enthusiastic he has seen you. your face lit up as soon as you mentioned your mode of transportation.
however, he is a tiny bit confused.
it shows on his face, apparently.
“the motor kind,” you clarify.
“ah, the motor kind-” he claps once as soon as the realization dawns on him. he chuckles to himself. “of course!”
it was important for you to clarify, jungkook concludes from your tone. the fact that you own a bike is sexy, but you look adorable right now and it is so amusing to him.
“anyway, i need to go. it was nice to meet you!”
your heels click against the floor as you head towards the same door he walked in from.
“see you around!” he yells, still wearing a wide grin.
he remains standing there even though you’re already gone from sight.
hit with a useless yet concerning epiphany, he blinks.
“she rides the motorbike wearing heels?”
—
jungkook’s misery has been pushed to the back of his mind, replaced by an overwhelming giddiness that causes him to drop everything on the floor and jump on his bed. he buries his head into the pillow, but it does nothing to erase the happy grin that’s threatening to make his cheeks sore.
what a small world, huh?
what is this if not fate?
he flips over and stares at the ceiling as if it’s the starry night sky.
this might just become the best summer of his life.
—
jungkook comes out fresh from the shower clad only in a pair of black boxer shorts. he hangs the towel he was drying his hair with over his nape, heading to the kitchen to prepare his dinner. he rips the lid of the cup ramyeon halfway, and as he pours hot water into it from the electric kettle, your face appears on his mind again.
wait, there’s something wrong…
he tilts his head to the side, eyebrows knitting together as he tries to figure out what it is he forgot.
“ah, i’m so stupid!”
he totally forgot to ask your name!
“shit!” he shouts in higher volume when he realizes that the water has overflowed and is now dripping to the floor.
he puts the kettle down, taking a few steps back from the mess he made. praise heavens the water wasn’t hot enough for his toes to suffer anything more than a first-degree burn.
he starts to look around for anything he can wipe the floor with, his tongue poking his inner cheek.
“still having a bad day.”
—
but a bad day isn’t enough to break down jungkook’s spirit. he knows there will always come a tomorrow, so he seizes that tomorrow and comes home from work as fast as he can. there’s a big chance that you leave for work around the same time, right?
so he sits down on the sofa facing the aquarium, and he waits.
his head turns to the elevator each time it dings.
he taps his foot on the floor.
he checks tomorrow’s weather forecast on the app. clear skies. no chance of rain. high humidity levels.
he goes through the magazines laid out on the coffee table. he learns five ways to get over heartbreak. according to the quiz, he has a sweet and passionate personality based on the flavor of his lip balm. he thinks it’s pretty accurate. strawberry, he strokes his non-existent beard. could never go wrong with it.
next thing he knows, the clock strikes twelve.
he can no longer control his excessive yawning but his stomach is just screaming for the pack of jjajangmyeon in his cupboard.
he presses the elevator button with a tight-lipped smile. he’s disappointed that he didn’t see you at all today, but he was raised to have a positive outlook in life. you live in the same building. you have to run into each other again one of these days.
—
what does jungkook hate more than normal sundays? sundays when he didn’t get enough sleep.
for some reason, he’s still tragically stuck with working on the worst day of the week despite his repeated objections. the only upside to this particular sunday is that he is assigned to the ferris wheel. in exchange for thrice the amount of his daily wage in discreet tips, what happens in some of those cabins are none of his business.
if he ends up getting reassigned, he would be pretty fucking pissed off.
he’s restless as the elevator descends to the ground floor. he’s munching on a protein bar, jogging in place as to warm up his body for a race to the bus stop.
he can’t be the one manning the bump cars. bump cars are the worst. those kids hit you on purpose, he swears.
the elevator dings and he runs.
until an eye-catching color forces him to pull the brakes. his sneakers squeak against the tiled floor.
your back may be facing him, but he can recognize you from that cotton candy hair even from a mile away. you’re right where he was hoping you’d be last night, conversing with one of the janitors. this really isn’t the best time for your paths to cross again, given the reasons he was just grouching about, but his feet refuse to move.
you go on your tiptoes to sprinkle fish feed into the aquarium. you’re so adorable in your pajamas; you’re almost drowning in the black and white checkered cloth. are those yours in the first place?
“everything you need to know is written here… how much- how often you should feed them depending on the seasons, depending on how big they’ve gotten… jungkook worked really hard in researching. impressive, don’t you think?”
“i see…” he is finally granted his wish to hear your soft voice. “but why don’t they have names?”
the janitor scratches his head at your question. “they look too alike to have names.”
“hello! i heard my name!” jungkook pops in without a warning, causing mister park to flinch and slap a hand over his chest in shock.
“jungkook! i’m 71 years old! you could’ve killed me!”
“oh, that’s right-” he gasps. “grandpa, i’m sorry!”
jungkook attacks him with a bear hug, playfully rocking their bodies back and forth hoping that would calm down his vulnerable heart. for a brief moment, he feels like a child again.
“this is jungkook.”
the introduction was already made for him. that’s one less thing he has to overthink.
“____ here wants to feed the fishes every morning from now on. i told her it’s perfectly alright with me.” the janitor laughs. “with my age, you know how forgetful i’ve become.”
“really?” he breaks away, surprised by what he just learned. “that’s so nice!”
“it’s nothing. i’m happy to do it.” you smile and make eye-contact with him, but you soon break it, opting to glance at the aquarium.
you must like fishes a lot. he only felt bad for them because the janitor on night shift doesn’t give a single fuck about them; that’s why he did all that research hoping it would help with committing to the responsibility, which jungkook ended up shouldering in the end anyway. but you… you’ve been here for what? two? three days?
“tell you what…” he brings out the pen he keeps in the side pocket of his backpack. “this- this is my phone number. if you need anything, or incase you need someone else to feed them, contact me!”
he scribbles down his phone number on the notepad grandpa was showing you before his rude interruption.
“by the way, my unit is 1311. you can also just-” he knocks on the thin air, clicking his tongue to mimic the sound. “knock on my door.”
jungkook’s watch beeps twice everyday, once at 8:50am and then at 11pm sharp. the sun is burning bright and his shift starts at 9am. yes, he is nervous infront of a girl who is drop-dead gorgeous, but he should also be very much nervous about the (unfair) deduction from his measly salary.
“okay, i need to run to work! goodbye!”
—
so, his name is jungkook…
you crane your head to watch him rush out of the building. the uncomfortable sound of his sneakers squeaking against the floor makes you grimace.
the page he wrote his number on is ripped off from the notepad and handed to you.
“he’s a good kid.”
you force yourself to smile, and it slowly fades as you tilt down your chin and stare at the string of numbers in blue ink.
long after the janitor has left to fulfill his long list of tasks, you remain standing by the aquarium.
“you do have someone taking good care of you.” you whisper to the clueless fishes, caressing the glass. a genuine smile appears when two of them swim towards you, beady eyes trying to make sense of the stranger loitering around their homey cage. “you can breathe well and you’re warm in the winter. that’s a relief.”
after feeding them, next on the agenda is to cook your own breakfast. you head for the elevator, tossing the crumpled up paper into the trash bin before pressing the arrow pointing towards north.
—
“hyung…”
“why?”
jungkook sighs. “can you text me?”
“text you what?” seokjin’s forehead creases in confusion.
“anything. i just need to make sure my phone still works.”
thursday has been a slow day at the amusement park despite the school vacation and no one has tried to win a teddy bear since the place opened. seokjin is more than happy to spend his free time playing games on his phone in his own little corner at the amusement park.
well, that was before jungkook got bored at the ping pong toss booth and decided to hang out at the other side of the wall.
he shrugs and texts his younger friend the word ‘anything’ just to get him off his back. he goes back to playing his game, not curious enough to interrogate him with additional questions.
jungkook’s text tone rings at max volume.
“it does work!” he yells in exasperation, flopping down at his seat. “why hasn’t she texted me?”
“you were whining about the same thing the other day.” seokjin muses as his car crosses the finish line. second place. “you fool, just text her first.”
“i don’t have her number.”
“what do you mean you don’t have her number?”
“i gave her mine.” jungkook says quietly. “we live in the same building and i told her to contact me if she needs anything.”
“then i guess it’s safe to say that she doesn’t need anything from you.”
“seriously, why can’t i have friends that are nice to me?!”
seokjin bursts out laughing, definitely not a stranger to jungkook and taehyung’s bickering at the break room.
“you did this one to yourself! jungkook, flirt better!”
“easier said than done,” jungkook pouts.
you make him nervous. his brain goes blank when you’re around. in addition to that, he doesn’t know what you’re going through and he’s scared that you’d end up pushing him away if he oversteps.
“i gave her candy when we first met and she threw them away.”
“oh, that’s right,” seokjin loads a new game, snorting. “taehyung told me about that.”
jungkook’s jaw drops. “is he backstabbing me?”
—
jungkook enters the break room with yet another item from the lost-and-found. it’s been over two weeks since he found this orange beanie on the ground. must’ve fallen from the rollercoaster, that’s his best guess.
since no one has claimed it— “finders keepers,” he grins as he stuffs it into his backpack.
“thief,” seokjin jokingly accuses him from the other side of the table. “that’s how you were raised?”
“says the one who took the sony headphones yesterday.”
“i won it fair and square!”
he’d argue with the older man again, but his phone vibrating has stolen his full attention. he is hit with disappointment at the same moment that he snatches it from the table. it’s his mom, again, asking him when he’s coming home.
“you need to stop doing that. it’s getting sad.”
he sighs, hugging his backpack to hide his pitiful face. “i am sad.”
—
his walks home from the bus stop have always been a period for reflection and pondering. the streets of seoul are scattered with his indecision, worries, and anger. since his mother has been asking him for months, should he just go home and endure their living situation? maybe it’s better to be annoyed with the presence of people instead of being blue with a lack thereof.
so much for being independent. he spent most of high school anticipating the day he gets to move out, now he wants nothing but to go home. he can’t help but to think that life is but a vicious cycle of wanting and losing.
too lost in thought, he fails to realize right away that he has entered his apartment building’s vicinity. it’s the smell of cigarette smoke that brings him back to reality. the alley is dark, but he can make out the silhouette of a figure crouched down on the ground. assuming that it’s one of the guards hiding to smoke, he soundlessly enters the confined space with mischief up his sleeve.
when he gets close enough, the first thing he sees is the tip of the cigarette still burning red as the smoker takes a puff.
a car with blinding headlights zooms past.
it becomes unmistakable then— the identity of the person ten feet away from him.
there’s no one around here with same hair color.
none that he knows of anyway.
he is motionless; clueless as to what he should do. he should probably turn his back and leave. pretend this never happened. he never saw anything.
he can’t even be hung up on the fact that you smoke. if he thinks back on his past experiences with dating, this would’ve been a turn-off, but he loses the ability to care. the smoke in his lungs is negligible when your wounded sobs are breaking his heart. it’s ridiculous that the urge to also cry is spreading fast in his system, but he had a long day and he feels really fucking shitty.
you were going to notice his presence eventually.
he doesn’t know what he was expecting.
you lift your head, and eye-contact is made. none of you chooses to speak a word.
you’re as beautiful as the day he first met you.
you stand on your feet and you step on the cigarette, on the emotional connection he swore you had, crushing it under the weight of your boot.
he blinks away the tears threatening to escape his eyes. he should say something; offer an apology for intruding on a vulnerable moment, but you walk past him before he could form the words, shoulder harshly bumping against him.
could have it been on purpose?
“____!” he says your name for the first time, for what sounds like a plea. he follows you home like a lost puppy. “i’m sorry, i-i wasn’t… i thought you were another person… are you okay?”
“what do you think?” you spit out. the delicate voice he knows isn’t there, gone harsh and hoarse.
“is there anything i can do?”
no response.
he tries again. “anything at all?”
“oh my god, can’t you take a hint? leave me alone!”
your sudden outburst sends him stumbling backwards, the sensation of your hands on his chest still lingering despite the distance that was forcefully created between the two of you.
“i don’t know you! stay away from me!”
your infuriated voice echoes throughout the lobby. he is shocked. dumbfounded. his eyes, out of focus, seek your face, and he finds you heaving with tearful eyes.
he makes an attempt to speak, something to defend himself with, but in the end, he still says, “i’m sorry.”
a woman walks out of the elevator, and you immediately enter without looking back. jungkook remains standing where he is, with strangers’ eyes on him as if he has committed a grave crime.
—
you slam the door shut, hand still covering your mouth shut despite no one being around to hear your cries. you don’t bother turning on the lights. your shoulder bag falls somewhere on the floor and you collapse on the bed, still in your jeans and your heels hanging off your feet.
nothing matters anymore.
you’re suffering the punishment of somebody else’s crime. you’ve been casted out, stripped away of your dreams and your dignity. your life is over and you’ve accepted that, but maybe you haven’t. all is unfair. you’re so fucking angry but you’re too tired to feel it. and you’re alone. so alone. no one is on your side and it’s not fair.
you try to scream out, anything to release your pent-up rage, but it doesn’t happen. apparently, that’s what happens when enough people tell you to bite your tongue raw.
they say we curl up into the fetal position as a natural response to stress and anxiety because it mimics the sense of security we had when we were in our mother’s womb. the way you see it, your body will always be yours and it is the only one that you need.
so you curl up and you put your arms around yourself. you pat your own back until your wrist falls limp from exhaustion, and you keep your eyes closed until you fall into a deep sleep.
you pray to god that you never wake up.
—
you fail to achieve peace even in your dreams. in what is supposedly an imaginary land, you were being chased by faceless agitators with torches and pitchforks. you were crying and screaming, running on bare and bloody feet, tripping on branches and the stones they were throwing.
you open your eyes to darkness.
just as you predicted; nobody listens.
you feel nothing anymore and you hope it stays that way. if you can’t escape it, then perhaps, you can be desensitized to its horrors.
you force yourself to sit up on the bed, spending an unknown length of time staring into the void.
the first coherent thought formed in your head… no, not a thought… a person.
your bare feet brave the cold floor. the switch of the desk lamp is flicked as you sit at your desk. you grab a pen to write something on the free space of your opened journal pages.
under those numbers, you note down the name of the owner in cursive.
—
after the shitshow that transpired earlier, sleep became impossible for jungkook.
he doesn’t quite understand how he feels about you. however, it’s currently clear that there’s a part of him that’s pissed off. you made yourself very clear. he should maintain distance from now on. that’s the sensible, respectable thing to do. at this point, attempts at initiating any form of relationship with you appear to be futile. you’re a stranger to him, as you emphasized. this shouldn’t be as complicated as it is in his head… but fuck, the memories of your tear-stained face is corrupting his ability to rationalize.
it’s 2:33am. he’s been playing the guitar infront of the camera for an hour and a half already. the comment section is flooded by sleep-deprived people like him, sending song requests and questions about his personal life.
yes, he’s about to be in third year college.
no, he doesn’t have a girlfriend.
no, he can’t mention where he lives… but sure, he can sing ‘beautiful’ by crush.
“what do you mean? i just finished playing it ten seconds ago!” he squints as he scrolls through the new wave of comments. “sorry, art commissions are still closed. i’m behind on my workload… no, i’m not sleepy! don’t send me to bed yet… knees by iu? i love that song. should i play that next?”
his phone vibrates with a new text message, nearly causing it to fall from the stack of books he set it up on.
“oh- what was tha- what do i do? wait, everyone. i need to check on something!”
the live is temporarily put on pause.
“who is this?”
his eyebrows knit in confusion when he is greeted by an unregistered phone number.
2:45am
hi, jungkook. this is ____. i wanted to apologize for my behavior at the lobby earlier. i understand you were only concerned. i’m so sorry. i’d love to buy you coffee some time to make it up to you, if that’s ok.
this is real, right? he’s awake. he’s not hallucinating. the text message indicates your name and it says that you’d love to buy him coffee some time.
a gasp leaves his mouth, his hand flying up to seal his lips.
you texted him. you finally texted him.
he was starting to get convinced that you also threw away his number, but you didn’t!
he weakly sets down the phone, brain still processing the message you sent. does this make sense?
“i shouldn’t reply right away… maybe in the morning…” he nods to affirm myself. “that’s right.”
he begins chuckling out of nowhere. soon enough, those chuckles become chortles. he must be going insane. he picks up the phone and reads the message again.
“she sounds pretty even in chat. how is that possible?” he spins on his chair, so carefree. “but honestly, is one coffee enough for what she did?”
he shakes his head with a click his tongue.
“i don’t think so…”
hold on…
it feels like he’s forgetting something…
“ah, the live!” he jumps on his seat in panic.
he swipes out of the text message to go back to the app where he abandoned his thousand viewers.
“sorry, i made money.” he mumbles to himself. “i should end it now.”
—
his mood has done a 180. his routine consists of feeding the fishes dinner, and then himself, but he decided to skip the second part earlier for reasons that he has forgotten by now.
his stomach growls at his selfish decision.
given the time, he considered food delivery, but the fee made him exit the app immediately. he hasn’t gone to the grocery store as of recent either. the fridge has been wasting electricity, but his pride won’t let him turn it off.
how did people live without convenience stores before? that is what jungkook marvels about as he crosses the long hallway to reach the elevator.
a door ahead opens, and he would ignore it if not for one of the two people who comes out from the other side of it.
there is a man in his late 20’s, and then there is… you.
you are the deer and jungkook is the blinding headlights.
—
the coffee you originally offered jungkook has turned into a full meal. when you arrived at the convenience store, he knew what he wanted right away. he grabbed the biggest cup of ramyeon and tteokbokki, an egg, sausage, and cheese. he refused to let you pay for them at first, but there was nothing left to do after you handed the cashier the money.
the action was done out of obligation rather than will, but seeing how much he’s enjoying the food, you’re a little less displeased with the circumstances.
“is that all you’re eating? we can share mine.”
“it’s okay. i’m not that hungry.”
with the money you had left, you were able to afford a roll of gimbap. maybe it’s not enough to make you full, but it’s enough to satiate your hunger. you slowly chew the food in your mouth, an effort to hide your smile as you discretely observe jungkook devour his rabokki.
“the man from earlier, is he your brother?”
your chewing is put on pause. “how did you know?”
“how? it’s easy!”
he cheekily points at his nose using his chopsticks.
“you have the exact same nose.”
“ugh,” you grimace. “i’m tired of hearing that.”
your list of similarities ends there. he’s the golden child and you’re the black sheep. if your parents find out that he comes to visit you and he sends you money, they’d only see you in worse light.
“i know,” jungkook scrunches his nose. “i have an older brother too.”
cute.
“so… why did you lie?”
he’s seriously asking you like this? so casually?
you awkwardly set down your food on the table and you take your time sipping at your coffee to buy yourself some time.
—
“i was embarrassed with what happened before… me crying at the boat and everything…”
you’re having a hard time looking at jungkook in the eye. sensing your discomfort, he wants to punch himself for being so careless with his tone. until moments before, he felt too offended to consider the fact that you never owed him an explanation.
“you don’t have to be. it’s okay.” he reassures you. “we all have bad days.”
it doesn’t work the way that he thought it would. when you start laughing, he is lost.
“did i say something funny?” he chuckles along nervously.
“that quote, ‘it’s just a bad day, not a bad life.’”
“yeah?”
“it’s the opposite for me. it’s not just a bad day; it’s a bad life.”
you speak with such endearing humor and it works like a charm in making the atmosphere lighter. he’d pass it off as a self-deprecating joke, but based on your few yet impactful encounters so far, he doesn’t think you’re stretching the truth far. if he’s being honest, if your first meeting happened differently, he’d assume that you’re living a perfectly comfortable life based on your appearance alone.
“even now, i’m too embarrassed to show my face to you. but we’re neighbors, so i’ll try to get over it.”
“tell you what, let’s start with a clean slate.” he eagerly makes a proposal. “you can erase all the embarrassing memories of you from my brain.”
“h-how do i do that?”
“flick my forehead!”
you blink, eyes darting around as you try to make sense of what he said. “i was expecting some sort of stupid hypnosis.”
“or that,” he switches up, slapping the table as if you just came up with something revolutionary.
why did he say flick his forehead anyway? he knows you gotta have an overwhelming amount of pent-up emotions. you could go deku on him and blow his head off.
“let’s do that!”
“no, i like it.” you almost interrupt him. “i’ll flick your forehead.”
but he did suggest it… and you act so gentle and sophisticated. he doubts that you would make it hurt.
“here i go!”
he gets his bangs out of the way. “okay!”
he squeezes his eyes shut, bracing himself for impact. “please have mercy.”
son of a bitch. that hurt.
“ow!” he rubs the affected area, face twisting in pain. his eyes flicker to you in disbelief. “you didn’t hold back, huh?!”
you smile at him sweetly. “did it work?”
—
“you fed them, right?”
“of course i did. you?”
“yes, this morning.”
“okay, that’s good.”
you and jungkook sit in silence after that, eyes twinkling with wonder as they follow the stunning movements of the goldfishes.
deep inside, he’s feeling restless. you make him nervous, and he’s also nervous about you noticing that he’s nervous. it’s been a tireless cycle.
he sneaks a glance at you.
perhaps he’s overthinking again. it seems like you don’t even care that he’s less than an arm’s length from you.
he doesn’t know whether to be relieved or annoyed.
he sighs without a sound, comfortably leaning all of his weight on the couch.
“it’s called the dreamboat.”
“what is?”
the boat you cried in— can’t say that. you might flick his forehead again.
“at the amusement park.”
“oh…”
it falls silent.
jungkook is thankful when you have a follow-up question because he hasn’t thought of a new topic yet.
“i wonder why they called it that.”
“oh, because the owner’s daughter loves boats!” he shares one of the few fun facts he learned over the past year. “that’s why it was designed like it came from a fairy tale too.”
a mirthful smile forms on your face “my guess was too far off.”
“what was it?”
“mhmm,” you hum, folding your arms over your chest. “dreamboat is a word used to describe a handsome man, right?”
jungkook nods his head like he knew that all along. no, he didn’t.
“so i imagined the owner met their handsome partner on a boat- no, or a ship,” the epiphany hits you in the middle of your sentence. “they have to be rich since they built an amusement park.”
a romantic. you imagined a love story based on a word alone. jungkook’s teeth dig into his lower lip as he tries to tame his wide grin.
“that does sound like a good theory.” he casually bends over, resting his elbows over his spread thighs. “i think i like it better than the truth.”
“how did you know that though? the truth?”
he shrugs. “i work there.”
“you work there?” your voice goes up a pitch. “i didn’t know…”
“you? do you study or work?”
“call center,” you answer to get it over with. to his surprise, your body language shifts and you’re now facing him. “what’s it like working there? is it fun?”
apparently, a job at the amusement park is now joining his very short list of your interests: after motorbikes, smoking, and fishes.
“it has good days and bad days…” he trails off. he hasn’t truly given this much thought, so he’s also learning about himself. “but i didn’t expect it to be as fun as it is. sometimes it’s boring, but when it’s fun, it’s really fun.”
you scoot closer. “do you get to ride for free?”
ah, yes, the deciding factor when he was offered the job.
“there’s an employee discount, actually! but i do it for free anyway…” he shyly scratches his head. “don’t tell anyone i said that.”
“i don’t have anyone to tell.”
his heart skips a beat when he hears your laugh genuinely for the first time. quiet and delicate and airy— you grace this blue summer night like a spring breeze that takes away with it everything that burdens your mind and heart.
once again, the aquarium becomes the most interesting collection of atoms in the building. as for him, he is still unable to keep his eyes off you.
“did you have a pet fish growing up? you really like them a lot.”
“no,” you reply. “i didn’t care about them until now.”
“really?” his eyes grow wide. “wow, i seriously thought you were a marine life enthusiast, or something like that.”
you give him a look. “i thought you were a marine life enthusiast.”
“we were both wrong.” he shrugs. “but what made you care about them so much now?”
“i don’t know. i just thought of something when i was looking at them.”
he feels your hesitance to continue. your eyes connect briefly and he communicates that he’s listening with an open mind.
“they’re different from other pets, you know, like cats and dogs. they can’t make a sound when they’re in pain.”
in the dark room, he sees the melancholy seeping from the cracked edges of you. although you act relaxed, your spoken thoughts paint the picture of a person whose sensitivity and sympathy touch upon everything.
“there should at least be somebody who cares enough to check up on them and make sure that they’re alive and well.”
“…and you wanted to be that somebody for them.” he concludes with a hushed voice, more to himself than you.
“but it turns out they have you already.”
“it’s not just me now.”
he mirrors your soft smile. it’s nice to see your frown turned upside down for a change. what was weighing down on him has become lighter, and he hopes it’s the same for you.
“the sun is about to rise.” you announce after a peek at the grandfather clock. “we should go home.”
jungkook isn’t a big fan of comfortable silence, but he can get used to it. he maintains a respectable distance from you in the elevator, engaging himself with the ascending number of floors on the screen. when the door opens, you’re the first to step out and he follows suit.
your destination isn’t far. you pause in front of unit 1303.
“uhm, this is me.”
yup, the same door he saw you come out of.
“i’m not far, just at the end of the hall. 1311, if you ever need anything.”
your eyes trace the direction of where he’s pointing before you nod in understanding. with a hand gripping the door handle, you offer him one final smile.
“goodnight, jungkook.”
—
if others cheese over good morning texts first thing after opening their eyes, then jungkook’s case is one of a kind.
he rolls over to his side, puffy eyes from sleep forming thinner crescent moons as he zooms in on your reflection on the glass.
10:08am
[attached image]
they’re happy and fed :)
10:10am
[attached image]
babies are getting bigger
this is how his mornings have been going for the past two weeks. he wakes up and he checks his phone for fish breakfast updates from you. in return, he sends fish dinner updates to you at night. he was the first one to send you a picture following the night you awkwardly bumped into each other. he didn’t want to wait around anymore.
were his palms sweaty? did he throw his phone on the bed after?
no longer relevant.
he now knows that your favorite color is blue and you have wednesdays and fridays off for the next month. that’s pretty cool.
another thing he’s taken notice of is that you don’t use emojis or emoticons aside from the smiley face.
although, there was once a miracle.
he scrolls up until he reaches your conversation from four days ago.
11:59pm
LOL i’m actually allergic to seafood ㅜㅜ
😭😭😭
“ah, i’m annoyed!” he kicks his feet; half of the blanket falls to the floor. “she’s so cute!”
things are indeed going great, greater than he imagined, but if he has to complain, he wishes he could see you in person more. he’s at work when you’re home and vice versa, so you don’t cross paths despite living on the same apartment floor. that 3am encounter was a rare phenomenon, it turns out. he chanced upon you a few times while running to work and you were feeding the fishes breakfast, but those conversations were barely conversations.
‘i just thought of something when i was looking at them… they can’t make a sound when they’re in pain.’
he hasn’t stopped thinking about that.
—
“when are you asking her out on a date?”
taehyung is on a mission to tease him for life even from daegu. he’s only thankful that his best friend isn’t video calling him from the toilet again because he’s currently having his lunch.
“i don’t know.” he grouches. “it doesn’t feel like the right time. i don’t want to scare her off.”
“when’s that ‘right time’?”
“i’ll figure it out…” he sighs, setting down the half-eaten sandwich on the table. “how do i say it…? i feel like- hm, she’s no- she’s not in the best emotional state right now.”
“so you admit it,” taehyung raises an eyebrow, smirking. “she has issues.”
that didn’t sit right with jungkook at all. he feels obligated to defend your honor.
“hey, stop being rude. you haven’t even met her yet.”
“come on, bro! i’m only looking out for you.”
the atmosphere shifts into a more serious tone.
“i don’t want you to get hurt trying to fix another person again. it was hard to watch.”
he moved on and learned his lesson— he wants to spit out as a rebuttal, but his best friend gave him much to think about. would it make sense to say that he’s moved on but he hasn’t healed?
“i know,” is what he ends up saying absentmindedly, distracted by thoughts that he isn’t keen on sharing.
and as if he’s been slapped back into reality, he fixes his posture and picks up his sandwich. “so, what’s up? have you even slept yet?”
“no,” taehyung responds nonchalantly. between the two of them, he absolutely has the more fucked up sleeping schedule. “i’ve been awake since 12am.”
“didn’t you say you’d spend the entire vacation sleeping?”
“this vacation was a trap.”
the camera darts to the abandoned mop on the floor.
“my mom makes me do all the chores everyday. this is worse than my actual job!”
a devilish grin is drawn on jungkook’s face. ah, the grass is always greener on the other side.
—
“mondays stay to be a pain in the ass.”
does it look like he’s exhausted and dirty from chasing around children all day? jungkook is stressed as he checks himself out on his front camera. he’s walking home from the bus stop after clocking out of work.
the street is mostly quiet, until a roaring engine approaches and he cringes at the raucous sound assaulting his eardrums. he’s already at the sidewalk for his safety and in accordance with the law, but he feels compelled to stay further back and wait for the vehicle to pass by.
seconds later, a black harley races past.
jungkook is dumbfounded as he tries to piece the puzzle together.
the lights are bright, and your pink hair blowing with the wind is even brighter.
“w-was that…?”
—
he was going to bring it up over text last night, but he decided to reserve it for physical conversation because he wants to see your face light up again.
you’re so fucking cool.
he’s both amazed and envious.
also, he’s pretty damn sure that you’re rich. he doesn’t understand why you’re living in this place and enduring the graveyard shift at the call center.
a foolish smile is permanently plastered on his face as he sketches a commissioned digital portrait. he really should focus, or else he might end up drawing you instead of his client.
he spins on his chair, pushing the wheels towards the bed, where he comfortably extends his feet over. almost missed it. the power has been out for an hour and he doesn’t expect it to come back until dawn. he was pissed about this being a normal occurrence during the first year of his stay here, but he’s gotten quite used to it. invested in a powerbank that almost looks like it can charge a car’s battery and he’s all set.
the aggressive pounding at the door drowns out the pop ballad he’s listening to.
“what? who could it be at this hour?”
he pauses the song, turning up the brightness of his ipad to use it as a makeshift flashlight.
the last person he expected to appear at his door says the last thing he expected them to say.
“jungkook, i think there’s a ghost in my apartment.”
—
jungkook sets down a hot cup of tea infront of you. in his mind, he thanks himself for keeping everything his mom sends him, even the things he do not like.
“thanks,” you mumble, picking it up by the handle.
he patiently sits on the other side of the table for two, giving you the time to calm yourself down from the horror that you witnessed. he has his emergency light propped up on the kitchen counter. he was saving it for when he finds himself in a grave situation, like a total blackout or an apocalypse. he didn’t imagine he’d end up using it for an unusual night like this.
“are you feeling better?” he asks worriedly.
you nod. “yeah, i just don’t want to be alone right now.”
“i’m here. you can stay until whenever you want.”
“thank you.”
you sigh with your eyes closed. you look like life has been drained out of you.
“i’m really scared, jungkook.”
“are you sure about what you saw? i mean, it’s dark. your mind could’ve been playing tricks on you.”
“i saw him. i really him saw him!” you frantically defend yourself. “i was washing my hands then i turned around and i saw him, sitting at the edge of my bed! he looked at me!”
his heart drops to his stomach when your chin begins to wobble and he sees your eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“and his skin was burnt off, jungkook.” you enunciate the words to emphasize the severity of what you experienced. “it’s so horrifying, i had to run.”
“hey hey hey- it’s okay. i believe you.” he squeezes your cold, trembling hands. “you’re safe now. it’s only us here. no spirits- i promise.”
he’s losing his mind a little bit. he’s holding the hands of the girl he likes and her pinky is wrapped around his. you’ve been putting him through a rollercoaster that, for once, he is terrified of. he wants to bask in this moment… but the specific detail you revealed is bothering him.
“and you said… he was burnt?”
“yeah, why?”
he presses his lips in a thin line, shaking his head. “no, it’s nothing.”
“there’s something.” you stop crying. “i see it on your face.”
“i swear, it's nothing!”
“you’re lying!” you accuse him. “what is it?”
“forget it, ____.”
“jungkook,” you say his name sternly. “tell me.”
shit, he’s done for. you can’t do this to him when he’s trying to protect you.
he swallows nervously. “but i don’t want to scare you.”
“i saw a ghost. what else can scare me?”
“the truth is…” he pauses, still weighed down by hesitance. but he realizes he has reached the point of no return. also, you’re squeezing his hands a little too tight. “this building had to be restored. it burned down a decade ago. people suspect there was foul play, but the firemen said it was faulty wiring.”
he’s the one telling the story, but he also feels chills run down his spine.
“oh… so you’re saying…”
“i… believe so?” he winces with a mix of guilt and fear. “but it’s the first time i’m hearing of a ghost story here. i haven’t had any encounter either.”
“i need to move.” you declare, not an ounce of humor in your voice.
“don’t!” he protests.
perhaps a little too passionately. could he be any more obvious?
“what do you mean? you need to leave too!”
“i can’t,” he fakes a pained expression. “who’s going to take care of the fishes?”
that works like a charm.
you untangle your hands and lean against the chair, transforming into a pensive state.
if he wasn’t going to convince you to stay, the fishes would.
“fuck,” you curse in a low whisper, sipping on your tea.
—
“i’m not the spoiled brat you think i am.” you frown, dangling your feet from the bed. “i sleep on the floor too.”
“i’d be rude if i let you do that.” jungkook insists as he fluffs his pillow. “i’m comfortable right here. i’m used to it.”
he was relieved that you weren’t stubborn enough to go back to your place and force yourself to sleep there. after seeing how terrified you were, it would’ve been impossible for him to close his eyes and shut down his brain from worrying. he hasn’t seen a ghost, but they have to be real. he likes to believe that we do not cease to exist and we have some place to go when we die. however, that does co-exist with being alarmed by a ghost of a burnt body sitting on your bed. he isn’t going to let you go back in there tonight. no way.
“you should get some rest. just tell me if you need anything, okay?”
“thank you, jungkook.”
“it’s no problem!”
his name sounds so sweet when it comes from your lips. he can’t help but to feel giddy every time he hears it.
you lie down on the bed, facing the portable fan strategically set up on jungkook’s gaming chair. on the other hand, the emergency light is at the nightstand, acting as a night lamp.
he checks the time on his ipad: 1:48am. his battery percentage: 55%. he’s not yet sleepy, so he decides to continue working until he gets the low battery warning for 20%.
sitting down without back support becomes too uncomfortable after a while, especially when drawing. he doesn’t realize it when he changes positions, too focused on drawing the intricate floral patterns on the client’s blouse.
“is that your girlfriend?”
jungkook turns his head towards the voice and your face is only inches away from his. the word stops for a moment.
“is she okay with me sleeping here?”
he scoots a little further away to grant his racing heart some mercy. “u-uhmm, no.”
“no…?” you repeat slowly, sounding concerned.
“no, as in she’s not my girlfriend!” he further elaborates in distress. “i don’t have a girlfriend.”
“okay, cool. you scared me.” you huff out a chuckle. “i don’t like being the girl who causes problems.”
“no, you’re safe.” he manages to also laugh. “no one’s coming to pull your hair.”
“then who is she?” you point at the screen with your pouted lips, particularly the reference photo that’s been burnt to his memory.
“a client. people pay me to draw them.”
“oh, so she’s one of your french girls?” you crack a humorous remark.
the reference catches him off guard, even though he should’ve totally seen it coming.
he squints. “mhmmm, i guess? kind of like that… except they’re not, you know, naked.”
“i see,” you hum in interest. “you don’t like doing nude drawings?”
“honestly? i don’t know. i’ve never done it before.”
“no one’s asked you?”
he shakes his head. “no one,”
“would you do mine if i ask you to?”
he secretly pinches his thigh to prove that he’s not dreaming.
what the fuck?
did he hear you right?
it sounded like such a genuine and casual question in the name of art, but the worst thing he could do while his crush is sleeping over is to imagine her naked. he feels the warmth spread across his cheeks, possibly reaching his ears.
“hey, breathe!” you giggle with a push of his shoulder. “you don’t have to answer that. sorry if it made you uncomfortable.”
“sorry, i was just surprised.”
he forces himself to laugh and act like the question isn’t putting him through a crisis in so many levels.
“i’ll let you finish your work.” you smile at him, pulling up the blanket.
please do and stop shaking up my heart.
“goodnight.”
“goodnight, ____.”
—
jungkook is still flustered by the conversation. since you opened up the topic, he did give it some serious thought. he thinks he wouldn’t mind if someone asked him to do it. he makes all of his negotiations and transactions online so everyone so far have been a stranger. as for the people he personally know, unless it’s his significant other, wouldn’t it be awkward?
anyway, the chances of it happening are low. stressing over it is pointless.
he needs to finish this commission and move on to the next, or else he’d be encumbered by the pile of deadlines. he’s making the most out of this vacation so he can save more money and work won’t have to interfere so often with his studies.
sometimes he doesn’t understand why he works so hard either. his family isn’t struggling financially. in fact, he’s studying to take over their businesses. his parents have been nothing but kind and supportive, but he is never compelled to ask them for money. he feels this strong and all-consuming need to prove himself as capable and independent. nothing compares to the gratification of buying his wants and needs with the money he sacrificed his blood, sweat, and tears for. he can’t stop himself.
“i can’t sleep…” a quiet murmur reaches his ears. “may i watch you draw?”
oh, he thought you’ve fallen asleep twenty minutes ago.
“of course,”
he is more than happy to move closer to give you a good view of his progress.
if there’s one thing he isn’t ashamed to boast about— it’s this.
it’s silent except for your breathing and the taps of his pen on the screen. he’s a tad self-conscious with the presence of engrossed eyes, but he would describe the atmosphere as peaceful.
“you’re such a great artist.” you whisper in awe.
jungkook can’t recall the last time he felt this simple yet profound type of joy.
—
true to your words, you did move as morning came.
jungkook wakes up to an empty bed and a commotion outside.
“____?”
he knocks on the bathroom door, not expecting it to swing open from the action. he takes his chances and peeks inside with another call of your name, but you’re still nowhere to be seen.
did you really leave without saying goodbye?
he sighs in disappointment. he was planning on buying you breakfast, too. he knew it. he should’ve made the invitation last night.
a series of loud thumps prompts him to scratch his head in irritation. he’s tired and sleep-deprived and he didn’t see his crush’s face first thing in the morning. the day has barely started and it’s already a bad one.
he opens the door with a considerable force, mouth running before his eyes could perceive his surroundings.
“could you guys turn it down? people are still slee-”
“jungkook! you’re awake.”
you jog over to him with a more cheery expression than last night’s. there’s no windows but the sun is shining over his face.
“sorry about the noise. i’m moving to a new unit.”
he can see that, but his brain remains in a muddled state. how did you make the arrangements overnight? he gapes at the men hauling your things to your new apartment.
“1309?” he exclaims.
“yeah,” you shyly reply. “it’s the only vacant one left.”
almost but not quite. does he have the right to complain? you’d be one door away.
he’s fucking ecstatic.
if he just sets aside the fact that it took a ghastly ghost encounter for the stars to align.
the wrinkles on his forehead disappear and become crinkles by his eyes, accompanied by an excited beam.
“should we feed them together then grab breakfast after?”
—
time passes by too fast for jungkook’s liking. summer vacation ended a month ago and he’s back to busting his ass off at the university. he misses the days and nights when the only thing he was going insane about is you.
what’s taking you so long to reply? did he say something stupid? does he look nice? smell nice? are you crying again? that ghost isn’t bothering you again, is he?
now that he needs to focus on something less interesting, say studying taxation and business law for subsequent long quizzes tomorrow, he’s back to crushing cans of energy drinks.
fuck, he misses you.
your purple hair tie is still wrapped around the knob of his bathroom sink faucet and he keeps forgetting to give it back to you. you make him nervous but he forgets he ever felt that way after five minutes with you. he craves to be connected with you on a more intimate level. he wants to be more than just a neighbor you make small talk with, over text. he wants to be more than a friend you sometimes eat with, on your days off. but he likes you so much that he can be content with the way things are, so long as it means you won’t go further away.
he’s absolutely pumped to hear his friends berate him for being stupid enough to enjoy the bare minimum from a woman.
an email notification interrupts his intense cramming session with his ipad and his illegally downloaded ebooks.
No Name
Subject: IMPORTANT! READ ME!
snack break at the aquarium?
he already has a strong inkling on who the sender could be; he clicks the email address and unsurprisingly, it says that it’s you.
did you seriously go out of your way to email him because he told you that he was going to keep his phone turned off while studying?
ridiculous.
so cute and ridiculous.
—
“i brought your favorite.” you meekly present your gift to jungkook. “uh, actually i’m not sure if it’s your favorite. but it’s become mine since you gave it to me.”
jungkook gapes at the bag of his favorite gummies sitting on his lap. just for comparison, the packet he gave you that day you first met came from his pocket. this one is almost as wide as his thighs slightly spread apart.
but most importantly, what did you just say?
“y-you didn’t throw it away?”
“what are you saying?” you pout, a little hurt by the question. “why would i throw it away?”
“you should’ve. you can’t just accept food from strangers!”
he was being pretty before. he humbly admits that. he just wanted an excuse to bring you up so he whined about it for weeks, but he was never genuinely upset. not specifically about that, anyway.
“why are you so upset?” you match the rise of his voice. “i’m fine and we ended up being friends. now say ‘thank you’ and open it!”
“ah, sure-” he panics, fumbling with the zigzag edges of the packaging. you were kind of hot for that. “thank you! this was seriously so thoughtful of you.”
you nod in satisfaction, stealing a gummy worm the second that the plastic is torn open. “you’re welcome!”
—
“i should stop eating.” jungkook mumbles to himself, chewing the other half of his nth gummy worm of the night.
“yeah,” you agree, pulling your hand away from the bag with an impressive show of restraint. “we should.”
the two of you probably look bizarre in the eyes of strangers, particularly those who have seen you one too many nights admire the golden creatures like you’re being hypnotized and nothing else in the world matters. jungkook never knows what’s running in your head, but to him, these moments are all about being beside you. the loud beating of his heart could be attributed to the caffeine, or the bare skin of your knees touching and no one daring to move.
“the tank feels…” there is a delay as you search for the appropriate word. “dull. can’t there be more variety of plants?”
“i tried,” he laughs at the funny memory you evoked. “when i came back the next day, two of them already ate everything.”
you gasp. “everything? is that normal?”
he opens his mouth to speak, but you unknowingly interrupt him with a raise of your hand.
“okay, i’m searching on naver.”
jungkook behaves for the fifteen minutes that follow, sneaking a peek at your phone screen every now and then with squinted eyes. you read fast, and your knees shake when you have to think hard. they’re small things. they don’t matter that much. but they’re still parts of your entirety which he is to be well-aquainted with.
“according to this person, we can try giving them marimo moss balls to play with… and hmmm-” you hum, lips puckering into a pout. “then for plants, anubias and java ferns?”
“i still know the address of the place i bought the plants from before. we can go when you’re free.” he offers, jumping on the opportunity to spend time with you outside of this building.
“you free sunday?”
“is the afternoon alright? i have to go to uni in the morning.”
please say yes.
“sure, that works.”
he breaks into a triumphant smile.
yes!
—
jungkook has been looking forward to this day all week. he breezed through work and college, motivated to finish all his tasks so he could enjoy his time with you without any worries. he knows it’s not a date, but anyone can be excited to meet up with a friend.
“you look pretty.” he smiles, breaking the silence in the elevator.
“you can barely see my face.”
“i see it!”
your nonchalance slowly fades, seemingly replaced by unease, which confuses jungkook. you put on a white face mask from the pocket of your hoodie before facing him.
“now you don’t!” you banter with him playfully.
“too late,” he sticks his tongue out. “i can draw it from memory.”
this is your usual day outfit, a basic classic. a hoodie paired with shorts and sneakers. the face mask is part of it too. in a crowd, you could be anyone, even him, if only your hair doesn’t stand out among the neutrals. he likes it. he likes how you match outfits without trying to. you get more dressed up at night, which makes sense since you go to work.
“so you can draw me even if i flash you just once?”
scandalized, he almost chokes on his own spit. “____!”
“i’m joking!” you giggle.
“no, please do it.” he encourages you in jest.
that earns him a slap on the face. he touches the affected area. it didn’t hurt at all, you did it with a light hand, but he gapes at you dumbstruck.
“you can joke about it but i can’t?!”
you only laugh at his reaction. he also imagines that he looks funny. not long after, the elevator opens and you drag him out by his hand.
—
the cashier pushes back your extended hand. “sorry, we don’t accept card payments.”
while you pout sadly at the rejection, jungkook rushes to grab the wallet that you made him hide because this was your ‘idea.’
“here,” he puts down the paper bills on the counter.
“i’ll pay you back.”
“no, it’s fine. my treat for the fishes since they’d probably eat them anyway.” he jokes to comfort you.
“yeah, okay,” you respond listlessly. “then i’ll buy our dinner. samgyupsal?”
“call!”
jungkook guesses you have come to know him well too.
“okay, let’s go.”
he invites you to leave after the cashier gives him the paper bag. as you walk out together, your shoulders brush, and for a brief moment, he assumes that you would cling to him. he doesn’t know why he keeps doing that. you never do. he continues walking and he doesn’t even notice that he has left you behind.
the door is half-open and he’s stood in place, eyes scanning the store like he just lost a child at the mall.
of course, he finds you hunched over infront of an aquarium inhabited by a betta fish.
“do you want to get it?” he whispers, mindful of scaring away the little creature. “i don’t think i’ve seen a purple fish before.”
not even in art or television. it’s strange.
he feels your eyes glued to him. persuaded by curiosity, he turns his cheek.
his breathing stops when he sees your face so close.
he doesn’t know you removed your mask. you’re staring at him so intensely with those beautiful eyes, sparkling with the reflections of light. you’re dazzling, and intimidating, and it’s doing dangerous things to his heart.
a little nudge and he’d give you an eskimo kiss.
if there’s a perfect romantic moment to kiss your lips, he’d say it’s right now.
“it’s not the fish i want.”
he doesn’t hear you.
do you see how entranced he is by your lips?
“the shipwreck, it’s beautiful.”
his eyes chase the sight of them when you return your gaze to the aquarium.
“like you,” the words slip out without thought.
—
a soft smile tugs at the corner of your lips. you blink away the tears and you stomach the heavy in your chest. you know jungkook is still staring at you with those bedroom eyes and there was no deep thought behind his compliment. will he still find you beautiful when he sees who you are beyond the surface?
“like me…”
—
after dinner, you and jungkook planted the plants and installed the shipwreck you wanted. it was not cheap, but it was worth it, if it meant seeing your priceless joy. he carries around more cash than necessary when he goes out with you. he’s praying that you didn’t see his sigh of relief when the waiter said the restaurant accepts card. he doesn’t know much about your circumstances, why you stopped going to school and why you opted to work instead, but he knows you lead a lifestyle different from his. he’s not ignorant. he estimates your bag is five times more expensive than his ipad. but with how you’re soundly sleeping on his shoulder, he can say that it’s justified.
he learns that you’ve been working straight for fifteen days, with 10-20 hours of overtime per week. you practically live there. he can feel the weight of your shoulders on him, which is why he doesn’t have the heart to wake you up despite his bladder’s need of the bathroom. this is probably the closest he will ever be to you. he can’t be the one to walk away in this memory.
the humming noise of the aquarium’s filter fills the silence.
it always feels like he’s dreaming when he’s with you.
“after all that money we spent, we should really name them now.”
you release the yawn you were holding back while speaking, head dropping on his shoulder. jungkook stiffens at the suddenness of the physical contact, but then relaxes thanks to the tranquilizing scent of your shampoo— it has to be coconut, with some sort of flowers that perfectly compliment it.
“have any ideas?”
“yes,” he hears the smile in your voice. “you know those two who have similar hues?”
he hums, body vibrating underneath your soft cheek.
“tangerine, and then clementine for the smaller one.”
“those are cute names.”
“you like them?”
“yes, they really sound like siblings!”
“okay, i won.” you shrug your shoulders as far as they can go, as if you’re so pleased you could burst. “that’s settled. your turn!”
“hmmm…”
he unconsciously bounces his knee as he racks his brain, which you swat with a disapproving noise, mumbling “making me dizzy!”
“sorry,” he winces.
your giggles are infectious, bringing tickles somewhere deep inside of him, butterflies in his stomach coming alive like spring only arrived.
“shouldn’t we at least have one named after a flower?” he suggests. “hold on, i’ll search for good ones.”
“let’s give the flower name to the yellow one. she stands out, like a flower.”
you blink wearily, a soft smile amidst the haze, sent to the yellow fish who swam closer as if it heard itself being called.
he reads the list of yellow flower names out loud.
“sunflower, daisy, azalea… for-forthysia? lily, cosmos, dahlia-”
“dahlia-” you quietly repeat the name in awe, clinging to his arm to steal his attention.
“dahlia it is!”
“i wish dahlia would live forever.” you sigh, haunted by the inevitable.
“dahlia will outlive us.” he chuckles.
“i’ll protect her from the afterlife.”
he squeezes your hand tenderly. “i’ll be right there with you.”
and with unspoken mutual understanding, your fingers intertwine. neither one of you wants to let go, he feels it strongly and he is sure of it. his cheeks may very well begin to ache with how elated he is.
“that’s three… you know, i saw someone on youtube who named their fish coral. i thought it was a very pretty name. how about that?”
“i like it,” you chirp. “i kind of wish it was my name.”
“should i just give it to you?”
you lift your head a little, sleepy eyes connecting with his. “do you know someone who has the same name as me?”
“no,” he slowly shakes his head. “you’re the only one.”
“let’s give it to the one with the longest tail.”
your head drops on his shoulder, as if it’s where it belongs.
“i like being the only one.”
you fell asleep seconds after that.
he found entertainment in watching as much as the goldfishes playing around with the shipwreck. it’s a wooden ship split in two, with cracks and holes big enough for them to swim in and out of. even the sails have holes. the drawings on them are unrecognizable beyond his imagination.
it’s quite charming, but he doesn’t understand what’s special about it the way you do.
a teardrop drips from the tip of your nose and crashes on his arm, but he doesn’t feel it.
eventually, it dries, and is erased from history.
#jungkook au#jungkook one shot#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic#jungkook drabble#jungkook scenario#jungkook imagine#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#bts fluff#bts reaction
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🎉 Thank You for 10k+ Followers!! 🎉
A big thank you goes out to @cozymochi for this beautiful celebratory commissioned artwork for this major milestone ✨ It really captures the scope of all the content that had been put out in the last 4+ years—both in terms of official Twst materials and on this blog! I think it’s very fitting that we hit this milestone in the month of Halloween too (I just held off on posting this til the month after); it’s Twst’s biggest holiday of the year, so it’s twice the cause for celebration!!
A lot has happened over the course of my time in this fandom. I’ve written many things of course, but I’ve also had many other exciting opportunities! I’ve been interviewed for a paper, met many cool people from all over the world, attended Twst meetups + events, collaborated with other talented creators, received kind gifts, contributed to various fandom projects, and finished telling the origins of my Twst OC. This blog has been with me through a lot of major changes and difficult hurdles in my life too—it’s really been an anchor for me, a comforting and safe space for me to be creative or analytical whenever I want to be.
When I first started this blog as a very casual hobby in summer of 2020, I never even considered that it would balloon to this extent. It still doesn’t feel totally real to me 😭 I don’t usually fixate on numbers (they make me anxious), but looking back on it, 10k is a LOT, and 4 years is a long time. To put that in perspective, if we were in Twisted Wonderland for 4 years then all of the students we’ve come to know and love would have graduated by now. That’s crazy to me. We’ve come so far as a group.
I feel that a large part of fandom is the community that comes with it. I would have found it so challenging to stick with Twst had I not had so many great people keeping me engaged with it. I’d now like to take a moment to thank those folks. Keeping in line with the idea of “4 years”, think of these as little messages scrawled in a yearbook. I also have a blog event planned to celebrate! More on that later.
Please note that I’ve used pseudonyms for most of the following people, as I’d like to respect their privacy (I’m very private myself) + not all of them are comfortable with being explicitly named or tagged to a large crowd. You’ll know who you are if you see yourself on here.
Without further ado:
MSS — Thank you for being the first Twst space I felt truly a part of. It’s still the place I consider my fandom “home” beyond this blog.
April — Thank you for making MSS as a place for us to share! We’re tsunderes in solidarity.
Drinking Knight — The banners wouldn’t exist without your help. Thanks for getting the ball rolling on those; I’d like to think that I’m a little more confident in designing new ones myself now, but you were the start of it all. Your endless enthusiasm for the most insane otome boys, drinks, and bullying (positive) others is truly an inspiration.
Q. Opinionated — Can’t count the number of times you ran tech support for me 💀 Thanks so much for being patient and willing to laugh at a stupid situation. I WILL grip you (escape is not an option) 🤲
Dad with his Printer — Why are you so cheeky My unofficial proofreader and fact checker. Still treasure the teeny J word and coffin magnets you sent, and, even more valuable than those, the bad dad jokes/puns advice and wisdom you give. Wishing you luck on your art adventure.
A. Cider — An unexpected friend I met very late into the fandom and happened to run into irl by total coincidence. Funny how life works. Your shitposts are great, and I appreciate having a like-minded person to talk with about the J words and story critiques. I’d also like to thank you for the many little doodles you’ve made; I know you’re very busy and have a wife to tend to at home but I appreciate that you still make time for friends.
Hana — Extroverted pink-haired magical girl representation. Your bubbly love for Disney, Diasomnia, singing, and (yes) angst lights up the entire room. Maybe you’re not too confident with yourself are right now, but I know you’ll find your way.
Swan — For being quick on the uptake and giving me the heads up about various things! We may not talk much one-on-one, but I’m thinking of you and enjoy seeing you pitch into the conversation. You’re still banned for L*ona posting though/j
Ly — My secret French twin/j Thanks for being my cultural + equine advisor and a voice of (salty) reason. Never shut up about your hyperfixations! You’re a real one.
Oys — Enabler + encourager of my Yan!Sil delusions. Sorry for making your blood pressure spike every time we talk about our food takes. But hey, at least we get a good laugh out of it :))
Mac and Bean — For being my inspirations. Bean, you have such atmospheric writing. I hope my writing style can be just as magical as yours. Mac, it was your blog that first got me into starting my own Twst writing. You never stop being so, so funny also I blame you 120% for the L*ona rot.
Peaches and Cream — To my local Twst friends, thanks for keeping me company even through the hard times. Peaches, happy to be your local Twst dealer anytime. Cream, thanks for hooking me up with new books.
Salt and Flora — I don’t know where you vanished to, but the sea brought you back to me on its tides. I’m so happy we could meet again. Salt, you’re so talented at crochet and design work; get your coin 😂 Flora, you’re the sweetest person ever. Literally cottagecore personified, even in your art.
Piano — We don’t always see eye to eye, but thank you for being my serial debater and showing me new perspectives. Your open-minded theories and analyses are such fun. And, of course, it’s always hilarious to think about how we accidentally (?) swapped oshis 🤡 You’re a star.
The Anklebiter — For having the most unhinged jokes and ideas. Seriously, THE most unhinged. I never do any of the crazy things you suggest but I’m always really entertained from just hearing them.
Te, Mi, and Ro — Thanks for organizing local events and giving me an excuse to touch grass. It’s a lot of hard work and you guys manage to pull it off every time! Mi, I was flattered to have you reach out to me to help a little with the Tweel cupsleeve event. Happy to help anytime! Te, I remember you were cosplaying as Kalim when we first met and I kept thinking about how perfectly suited you are for the role. You were very friendly and made such an effort to include everyone in the event even when I was Idia-ing in the corner. To this day, you continue to spontaneously introduce me to new people 😂 Thanks for getting me put of my comfort zone. Ro, I didn’t think we’d meet again like this. Small world! You’re learning and improving the big events. Here’s hoping to many more!
Vic — For being Ace Trappola when very few others would. It’s refreshing to have someone tell it like it is. I wish I could be as bold and as honest as you are sometimes. You have such a big heart when it comes to the characters you love; it makes me want to adore them like you do too 🫶
Kana — For being so sweet and patient. You helped me through so many rough patches and have also contributed a lot to the look of the blog. It’s so fun gushing with you about magical girls and pretty boys, sharing our favorite shows and movies… I feel as though I’ve made a lifelong friend.
Zari — Thank you for charms and art book, big fan of your stuff 😭 So honored to have worked with you on projects too. I hope to see a lot more of your Yuu and other OCs around, I love following them ^^
Lala — You understand, encourage, and validate my weird tastes in fictional men 💕 Really admire your sense of fashion and stylish nails too. Whenever I have my shrimp apron on, I think of you.
Arisu — No longer in the Twst fandom but integral in the earliest days. Wherever you are now, I wish you nothing but happiness.
P-san — You’re a lifesaver!! Thank you so much for helping me find cute little outfits and accessories for my plushies… They are forever grateful to be properly clothed.
V, Fa, Fe, Ray, Rea, Sonny, Glimmer Group, and Incognito Crew — Thanks for being so supportive of my hyperfixation on Disney villain anime boys, even if you guys have NO clue what I’m rambling about half of the time. To V specifically 🫵 I am NOT a cat boy kisser
Mango — I didn’t know I wanted you in my life until you showed up uninvited one day and chewed your way into my heart.
Azul Ashengrotto — For being the character that first convinced me into giving this game a shot. The Little Mermaid was something I always held so dear to me, so it almost seems like destiny that you’d be the one to drag me down into Twst. You’ll always hold a special place in my heart for that, even if my feelings have changed since then.
Rook Hunt — For being there when I needed to laugh a little. It’s scary to glance over my shoulder sometimes, but you make it easier to smile as I look back.
Rollo Flamme — For letting me know that having negative feelings is normal and human, even if we don’t always cope with them in the healthiest of ways. Let’s reflect and be better together!
Leona Kingscholar — For showing me that change and personal growth is, in fact, possible. Th-This doesn’t mean I like you or anything though, so get off your high horse—
Jade Leech — For taking my hand and guiding me back on the path when I got lost in the dark. Whatever crimes you may commit in your free time, I forgive you/j
Miss Raven Crowley — The little black bird who could, the blog muse. I made you on a whim and look at where you are now… You went from a background character to the main character of your own story. So proud of you, my child 😭
Asset compilers, fan artists, fanfic writers, fan translators, cosplayers, merch makers, editors, plushie pic takers, video essayists, theorizers, etc. — You’re all so important to keeping the fandom alive, especially during periods of official content drought. It wouldn’t be feasible for me to list out all of the content creators I enjoy (chjsbsksks and it honestly might be awkward since I haven’t directly interacted with most of them), but I hope that this message still reaches you and finds you well. Keep doing your thing; I love seeing the work you put out ^^
Anyone and everyone that I’ve ever commissioned and/or received fan works from — I appreciate that you took time and energy out of your day to create something for me. There’s so much talent in the Twst fandom and I’m honored that you would dedicate some of that to a silly little birb.
You, the Readers — For supporting this blog and and what I do here! You’re an important part of my journey too.
Thank you!! Here’s to a future unknown and a page unwritten.
- The Writing Raven
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#notes from the writing raven#milestone#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc#Raven Crowley#not my work#Leona Kingscholar#Jade Leech#commissioned art#Azul Ashengrotto#Rook Hunt
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Normal Bookclub Activites <3
@moonlitpeony and i made a pin the head on the nie mingjue for our mdzs book club 🥳
(we used @poorly-drawn-mdzs’s design! (their comics are sent in our book club’s group chat every week and they’re our favorite :))
#fan art#nie mingjue#lan xichen#jin guangyao#nie huaisang#I am so enamored by the pin the head game. Unhinged but incredible.#Tell your bookclub I said hi! I hope you know how much it means to me that you've talked about my comics.#It's something I've been thinking a lot about recently actually - how art is this odd relationship between artist an viewer.#Artists (visual or written) spend hours and hours creating something and ask for just a few seconds of someone's time.#I think that's why comments matter so much to those who create. It's about knowing you made something and it was seen.#I've recently had a few people commenting on my dungeon meshi art that they recognize me from my mdzs comics and-#its like...Woah I exist? To you? Outside of a specific context?#So I very much love hearing about people sharing my stuff or talking about it outside of that brief one second reblog.#I love seeing people tag their friends and moments later that friend replying with a keysmash.#I love seeing 'sent to me' in the tags.#Shout out to the person who talked about seeing my art in the Dungeon Meshi tag and went 'PD-MDZS from the convos with my sister?'#(It made me laugh but also really touched me in a way I can't easily shake.)#And shout out to everyone who lets artists/writers know their work meant something through comments and fanart.#It is a much harder world for writers out there. I am sending a shout out to all the writers out there. You work so hard. Thank you.
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I feel like today was a good day for me to remember that Deltarune Chapter concept I had made & to draw these 2 lesbians from it again
#I almost forgot these 2 existed#Deltarune#Deltarune ocs#my ocs#Wix#Lampshroom#Thriftstore chapter#if y’all want lore about it I can give all I got#but it’s not that much#My art#do not steal my art please & thank u#Your honor they are in love#Roommates in a historical sense#’gal pals’ if you will#Oh yeah I can also find & share the items they’re based off of if y’all want
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🗣️Eddie Munson Fic Recs
This is gonna have a sappy start before I get into the fic rec portion: but I just wanted to say that at the end of May 2022, I was finishing up my first year of law school. It was rough, challenging, lonely, and basically everything you’d expect and I was in a bad place and the fandom I’d been in was slowing down just naturally. I truly wish I could remember how I even became aware of Eddie Munson because stranger things wasn’t really on my radar anymore and whoever I followed at the time that started to veer off into Eddie-mania, thank you. In the two years since then, I’ve graduated and become the worlds babiest lawyer and I genuinely owe a lot to this fandom and community on here for giving me a fun, usually safe, creative place to escape to when it got rough.
I’m just hoping to maybe remind people that there are already an incredible, incredible amount of existing stories to read and talk about that deserve your attention and love if you’re looking to read some Eddie stories. Some of these will be fics I’ve recommended before but I’m going to try my best to pull together writers and fics that I love and think everyone should read in the hopes that someone like me who still scrolls through eddie tags looking for my nightly bedtime story can find something new to them to read! ✨
Previous Fic Rec list here!! some overlap but there’s no such thing as too much hype for these writers
@munson-blurbs I hope it’s ok but I’m linking Bug’s full masterlist here because I have genuinely loved everything she has written. There are blurbs, series, and special events which are all incredible and worth a read! Bug is currently still writing the “Living after Midnight” series which is my current obsession and features rockstar!eddie x motelheiress!reader and it’s angst and lust galore
@corroded-hellfire also sharing the Eddie Masterlist here because there’s so many fics to read!! As You Wish, Big Brown Eyes, Where the Heart Is are all incredible but truly there’s so much here to enjoy
@upsidedownwithsteve SIMMER!! jk I’m actually linking the Eddie Masterlist here too because I love them all but “I Want You To Want Me” and “Simmer” are out of this world
@pinkrelish The Yes Policy I love it, you love it, we all love it and if you haven’t caught up yet oh my god I wish I was you and could read these chapters for the first time again
@ghost-proofbaby I’ve previously told people to go read 24 Hours, and you should, that’s an order; but Maroon is ongoing! and it’s actually infiltrating my every thought so go on over and get caught up bc I think it’s safe to say things are getting amped up
@trashmouth-richie I have also previously recommended Honey, I’m Home because it’s a work of art but Ziggy has a new mini series “Crash + Fall” that I’m completely obsessed with the concept for and I’ve loved every piece so far!
@tiannasfanfic I just reblogged Conviction again but I genuinely am not exaggerating when I say I think about this story and these two monthly and try and find this story all the time to re-read it endlessly. It’s a really lovely story of unplanned pregnancy and two characters not realizing they’ve been smitten for each other the whole time and I love it
@carolmunson I’m sharing another Eddie Masterlist here because I’d be making this post far too long but Carol’s stories are all incredible, complex, and honest. “Let’s go, don’t wait” just got updated and I had to read it like 3 times last night because it was too good to just read one and done
@rebelfell I just discovered Sarah’s blog after reading the most recent “Frenemy” fic and idk what I was doing wrong to not already follow her and not have already read her whole Masterlist but I’m linking the whole thing bc she’s so good!!
@the-au-thor I also only just discovered Elle’s blog and that’s criminal but thank god I found Babysitting Mun because I am a sucker for rockstar!eddie and this series has me on the edge of my seat rn
@storiesbyrhi I’m sharing the Masterlist folks because I have genuinely loved every single story and series and I have read them all now (some several times). So many of Rhi’s stories have a wonderful warm witchy vibe that I crave and I’ve read Siouxsie and the Soulmates, The Cabin in the Woods, Our Patron Saint of the Arts, Vintage Reeboks, and Burning Yarrow (insert screaming fan gif) multiple times now
@heart-eyed-love this fic is the epitome of a soft, cozy, domestic night with Eddie and if you need a hug read this 🥹
@eddieandbird I JUST got caught up on Eddie/Tour Manager series and I’m fully obsessed and desperate to know how they’re gonna navigate this - for folks new to the story, Eddie and his tour manager accidentally drunkenly get married- what could go wrong??
@eiightysixbaby the scream I scrumped when I finished reading Princess Leia, and Other Wishes - look bffs to lovers is already my absolute weakness on this earth but then you had to make it witty and funny and FLUFFY I just can do nothing but re-read and pine
@superblysubpar I’m still obsessed with this addition to The Boy is Mine writing challenge and oh god it’s so good 😩
…and while we’re talking about it - here’s the entire The Boy is Mine masterlist with an INSANE amount of incredible stories to read
@the-unforgivenn !!! tumblr hates me and deleted this bullet (so if you already saw this post, no you didn’t) but And I Need You to Know is a proper novel! I can’t imagine how much time, love, effort, planning, and work went into creating this insane and absolutely incredible world but everyone needs to read this!! and then follow up with She’s So Cold bc I love it and I am so reader
~~ this is not the end nor an exhaustive list! I just wanted to put something out there now that I plan to build on because I know I’m always scrolling and searching for new things to read or old things to revisit ♥️ ~~
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x you#eddie munson angst#eddie munson au#eddie x reader
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The death of an artist
he's always found you beautiful, even in your death and rebirth. you'll always be perfect to him. always
(yandere! musician x gn! reader) (cw: yandere stuff idk, im wiritng this while shitting i hope u enjoy my poopoo core, 2.04k words)
you might not have realised it but your silent admirer had always watched you.
he's watched you from the shadows, observing how you interact with others, how your eyes were once full of light and joy as you shared your paintings for the world to see.
it was beautiful.
you were beautiful.
he was but an aspiring musician back then. a couple of listeners here and there but never enough to fill up a concert hall. meanwhile you were a famous artist, with your paintings selling out for millions at all the art exhibitions you hosted.
you little admirer totally idolized you.
i mean, who wouldn't? all your paintings were so full of life, oh so meaningful, and most importantly, they were made with love.
love, love, love.
it was the one thing that made you stand out from all the hundreds and thousands of artists. the one thing that inspired him to even start writing songs.
your art made him feel loved. it made him feel wanted, even. he remembers how he'd get a fuzzy feeling from all your paintings, how it sent a delightful tingle up his spine as he takes in your carefully crafted masterpieces.
though there weren't any texts, all of your paintings spoke a thousand words. and they spoke to him.
with every new piece you put out, it was like he was getting to know you better. to know you on a personal level. it made his head spin and his heart leap in delight. after all, you were his idol. the one he admired so much that he began to pursue a music career dedicated to you. the career he once left behind in favour of living in this sad world.
though at one point in time, he hit a wall.
he couldn't get any ideas, no fresh inspiration for his music. the musician could only stare at his score as his mind desperately grasps at nothing. he felt like he was dying.
then you came through, like an angel of salvation.
well, looking back, you were more like a demon of salvation. especially because that one single text from you kick-started his disgusting love for you. it feels wrong to call you a demon though, not when you were so holy that he feels like touching you will corrupt your divine light.
he still remembers waking up and seeing your text on his instagram DMs. your bright red notification ping that gave him all the motivation he needed to think of a new idea.
'hey! just wanted to tell u i really enjoy ur music! cant wait to see u get famous >w<'
he swears he could die happy just seeing you message him. you messaged him. you know of his existence??? no fucking way bro. he still wonders if he used up all his luck when you messaged him so innocently that day.
of course... he responded and thus began a friendship (?) between the two of you.
friendship. yeah, maybe for you.
truth be told, he doesn't know if he ever saw you as a friend to begin with. he always thought you messaged him because you were interested in him too. whatever, these small details aren't important.
he released a love song not long after your first interaction with him. it instantly became a viral hit, taking his follower count from the thousands to the millions. he was glad it performed so well on the charts, they were his feelings to you after all.
the now famous musician had to thank you for getting him out of his rut. without you, he'd probably have gone back to doing medicine. so he did the best thing and that was to invite you out for a meal. he had to thank his muse, didn't he?
you were a little hesitant at first. that's okay, if anything he thought it was cute that you were suspicious of him. there will be plenty of time for you to warm up to him later.
the little get-together, or first date as he likes to call it, went well! you two saw each other in real life for the first time! and boy was he smitten. if he was unsure about whether he was in love with you before, he sure as hell was sure now.
you were so much more lovely in real life than you were over text. all smiles and laughs, your admirer feels that his songs didn't do you justice.
"this was fun! let's do this again!"
oh for sure he will do it again. he just wants you all to himself now. to keep you with him, a never-ending source of inspiration for the rest of his life. his beloved muse. the one he writes for. the one his songs are dedicated to. his.
so your falling off played out nicely in his favour. you were trying out an experimental style, said that he inspired you. it was one that not many would be able to understand at first glance, completely different from what your previous one was. your loyal fans stood by your side of course, him included. but the general public eventually started ignoring your newer pieces in favour for something they didn't need to use much thought to understand. for someone fresh, someone new.
he could see the way the light in your eyes slowly started to dim at the lack of interaction. sure, you said that fame wasn't important to you, that all you wanted was to showcase your art to the world.
but your little admirer could tell that it was bothering you more than you'd like to admit.
he saw the way your texts with him grew more erratic, the way the vibrant life in your eyes started to slowly dim, the way you started pushing out more works to compensate for the style change. you were desperate for the attention you once received. the way you changed in real time, becoming a slave to the consumers, like an animated robot that pushed out art just for the sake of it...
it was a little sad to see to be honest. it was like you were there, but you also weren't, you know? your name was on the artwork but he didn't see you in it.
but he was glad things turned out the way it did. it meant that he could be there for you when you cried and felt like a mistake. it meant that he could offer you a shoulder to cry on when the times were really bad.
"there there, it's alright. just let it all out."
his gentle caresses as you cried your heart out into his chest... it was delightful to see you depend on him so much. that you'd come seeking comfort from him in such a dark period of your life. he felt so wanted by you.
meanwhile, his fame was only growing larger by the day. while you were on a path to being forgotten, he was making a name for himself in the music industry. brand deals, billboards, advertisements. he was everywhere, like a ghost haunting you, to remind you that your friend was thriving while you weren't.
the musician wonders whether you've ever hated him. that you'd think he was stealing all of your fame. after all, your fame went down not long after you messaged him. he really wonders whether you've ever blamed him for making a change in your art style.
it doesn't matter now.
the artist in you was gone.
"hey, what if you make me an album cover?"
you only stared at him with dark eyes before looking away. everyone around you had slowly started distancing themselves from you. the change in your personality and looks had scared them. everyone but him had stayed. his words about horrid snakes deceiving you fill your head as you cling to the attention he gave you. who were you to deny your only friend left?
"sure."
you didn't give much thought when designing his new album. it was an avant garde album that had themes about desperation, love, and death.
how ironic, you thought.
you gave the complete piece to him a few days after, heavy bags under your eyes as your friend hugged and kissed your cheek. he's been taking care of you recently. having you move in with him, cooking you food and covering all of your expenses. he treated you like a lover. albeit you found it a bit weird that he told you not to leave without his consent. said that he didn't want people to harass you. you found it sweet of him. you were glad that he cared for you so much.
"my dear artist friend designed my new album cover, yes. i think they were a perfect fit to help design this particular album cover. they're..."
your fame immediately came back. interviews, likes, commissions, the things you were once familiar with came running back at full force after your friend's interview with a big channel.
you think if this happened earlier you'd have caved under the attention. the big spotlight, fans.... the attention will always be intoxicating. even now, you feel yourself smiling at the number of notifications you're receiving from strangers.
but you've realized that their attention is only temporary. the second you grow irrelevant they'll drop you again. just like they did before.
the only one who matters is your friend. the one who whispered sweet nothings and reassured you when you were drowning in a mass of nothingness. the one who gave you the attention you craved.
you immediately started a new piece in a new style.
'Intertwined'
a painting that gave you more fame than what you initially had before. it was a piece about self enlightenment, discovery, and contentment. and some claimed that it was the best painting that you've ever made. a masterpiece.
you showed your friend your work right after you were done and you could've sworn you saw a hint of shock in his eyes. maybe also fear? you don't know.
"this is... beautiful."
his words were slow, gaze intense as he stared at your painting for what felt like hours. you think he was mesmerized. you never asked him.
you made another painting after that.
'final duet'
again, people claimed that it was a masterpiece. your friend looked stunned again and he called it beautiful like always. he told you that he's never seen something so artistically perfect before and that he's proud of you. you like it. his compliments make you happy.
"this one is for you."
you made another piece. a simple painting of him in your style.
'untitled.jpg'
"is... it mine now?"
he proceeded to draw you into the painting as well after your words. you didn't understand what he was doing. but you found it cute. he was drawing you?
"there. now it's perfect."
he smiles down at you before pressing a kiss to your forehead like he always does. you've grown so used to his kisses that you were expecting one already. you lean into his touch before smiling softly.
"i'm so happy with you."
"me too."
the seed of life was sprouting once more, growing around the stem that it's learnt to grow dependent on.
he was everything to you. you feel like you'd die without him. but you know it'll never happen because your dearest friend will always remain by your side. he promised you. his words are like gold. he's the only one who matters.
you never want to be apart ever again.
thus you made your final masterpiece about love and dedication. a flower thriving in a dark environment and growing to love the dark, having died in the shining light once before.
'rebirth'
the blinds to the outside world shut on the two of you. no one else is important. he tells you he loves you. you repeat it. his hands wrap around you as you lean into his cold touch. you're cold too. you used to be warm once, he says he likes you cold better. shutting your eyes, all you focus on is the steady beating of his heart.
now no one will ever bother the two lovers ever again.
#yandere#tw yandere#yandere x reader#yandere drabbles#yandere scenarios#yandere imagines#yandere concepts#yandere musician#yandere musician x reader#gn reader#suiana rambling#suiana brainrotting
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reallyhardydraws digital drawing commission post! 🌈💖☀️🍓
updated: october 2024
FULL BODY:
the whole character. best for showing off the outfits! simple backgrounds included, but let me know if you have specific elements you want me to put in there.
🧍£60 base price for single character 👭+£40 for additional character interacting in same image 🪽 +£5 extra if character has feathery wings
HALF BODY:
roughly waist-up character. good for showing interaction between characters. simple backgrounds included, but let me know if you have specific elements you want me to put in there.
🧍£40 base price for single character 👭+£30 for additional character interacting in same image 🪽 +£5 extra if character has feathery wings
ICONS:
head & shoulders bust type drawing, best for personal use as profile pic/etc. hands like above examples are included if you want 'em. simple backgrounds like gradients only.
😊£25 per icon, individual characters only
OTHER INFO:
✅YES i will draw: anthropomorphic animal characters, real people (e.g. yourself, your partner, what have you,) existing fictional characters, your own OCs/D&D characters.
🐕🐈🐎YES i will draw animals but ONLY as an add-on to full body or half-body character art [example here]. smaller animals like dogs, cats & similar are +£5, larger animals e.g. horses & similar are £15. no solo pet portraits at this time.
take a look at the rest of my work to get an idea of what i draw best: romantic interaction💕, cute characters🎀, colourful fashion🧦.
interested?
contact me via email at [email protected] with reference images of who/what you'd like me to draw. payments will be taken via paypal, i will send you an invoice once i get your OK on the initial sketch. please let me know if your paypal address is different from the one you contact me from.
lastly, thank you so much for reading and please share/reblog this post to spread the word! 💖
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Hi Neil,
I hope this doesn't get buried in the ask box, but if it does, I'll still be glad I sent this, just to know this little lengthy slice of complement and thanks existed in your inbox is enough. I apologize for the length, I am pretty sure the grammar is in tatters...and probably just the general awkwardness in advance.
Frist of all, congratulations for Good Omens Season2, it's a roaring success even here in this...I don't know, bottomless pit? I myself and some others fondly call it the PRC. The show didn't made pass the firewall officially, neither was Prime Video. People still managed to watch it eventually by VPNs, shared accounts and when times are desperate...sorry, piracy. Chinese fans, including myself, using every tool in the shed to try to fool Amazon™ and our goverment, just to watch this on Prime and try to help to manifest S3, is one hell of an experience. This kind of experience is pathetic, ridiculous....and somehow hilarious in a dark, gallows humor way, almost like some bad spy comedy, I just have to share it. Worth all the trouble by the way, the reward at the end of the back channel is...well, some divine comedy to say the very least. All in all, it's a brilliant show and a solid job well-done.
Then some of my personal gratitude. They say good art resonates with your soul, I now know this is just as true as matter and gravity. Since I know Good Omens certainly resonated with mine. I'll redact the typical "depression and anxiety reduced me to a husk, a shadow of my former self" story and get to the result for brevity's sake. I can't write anything meaningful while I know I took joy in writing, I can't finish reading anything longer than a brochure while I know I was such a bookworm in the past. Then I was compelled to get up in the middle of the night, wrote a full 5000 character long analysis after marathoned S2, and then write even more analyses in both Chinese and English. I picked up American Gods because I know I need more Neil Gaiman in my life and then impressed by myself for actually finishes it the second time 5 years later. I didn't know how exactly that happened through one watch of a TV show, but I know I am changed for the better. I grasped life again, and can start living again, somehow. The resonation just keeps on giving.
This is a quiet, gentle and romantic story, it is soothing, accepting, filled to the brim with love and kindness, and it makes me feel safe and accepted and loved in a way I never felt before. I thank you for it, and hope thart I may have the privlige to witness more of this miracle. Thank you Neil, Sir Terry Pratchett and the team for this miraculous book and this miraculous show.
谢谢。(I just had to say thanks with my mother tongue, it feels more earnest this way)
Thank you so much! I'm impressed by everything you and your countryfolk have gone through to watch it as legitimately as you could.
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