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bonnini · 3 years

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Well I promised you a post about my bi Geoffrey Martewall headcanons so here it is guys <3

So…as I previously mentioned in a tag under one of @agapantoblu's posts, I've been half-seriously headcanoning Geoffrey Martewall a.k.a. the best character in the Hypervesum series as a clueless bisexual for... well, for some time. Let's say a year and a half. I've never bothered actually sharing these headcanons online because I didn't really have a clear idea for an actual argument in support of this claim of mine, but now I’m finally ready to put the all the reasons why I get extra-strong bisexual vibes from Geoffrey Martewall into words. Beware…it’s a lot of words :’’)

Exhibit A: Geoffrey and women

1.1. Geoffrey’s taste in women is just too good

Listen. LISTEN. Our man’s taste in women is IMPECCABLE: he could, as Brianna said herself, have chosen to take any young noble maiden as his wife, but he decided to go for a woman that 1) is a couple years older than him 2) is not noble at all and, you know, used to be just a poor paesant before coming to Châtel-Argent 3) already has a son who was fathered by a French knight to whom she was never married and that she had to raise as a teen single mom 4) at the time of their first meeting had a crush on his current worst enemy. LISTEN!!!!!!!! Geoffrey’s taste in women is suspiciously good, way too good, in fact, to be that of a medieval straight guy. I mean…Ian, a man who comes from the 21st century, fell for the textbook angelic maiden, while Geoffrey literally did not even bother looking around for some young blushing bride and just decided that the hot milf who threatened him with a pitchfork in book 2 was his first and best choice. What an Absolute Fucking King. This choice of his is, in my opinion, very telling of the kind of view he has of romance and women in general.

Which brings me to the next point, namely:

1.2. Geoffrey appears to have an attitude towards women and a view of womanhood that are significantly more modern than those of an average knight of his time

Is it just me or is Geoffrey actually the one with the most… modern mindset out of all the knights starring in the saga? There are a couple of specific scenes that kind of make me think of him as an outlier among his peers, and although some of those are definitely there for the purpose of showing us that Martewall is indeed a rather peculiar knight, others contribute to creating the picture of a character that is almost… out of place in the 13th century?

Allow me to expand a bit further on the “Geoffrey and women” topic: we saw how chivalrous and respectful Geoffrey was towards an unconscious and injured Brianna. First he made sure her son was comfortable with him warming her up using his own body, and reassured him he meant no disrespect by removing her clothes; then, he proceeded to strip her in the most methodical and detached way possible, which let us know Geoffrey respects a woman’s body and modesty the way any proper, courteous medieval man would. But then there’s another, and in my opinion far more interesting, instance in which Geoffrey is seen interacting with a woman: I’m talking about his brief conversation with Blanche of Castile in book 3. Here we see 1) how Geoffrey treats women he is not attracted to (“not attracted to” as in: women he has no interest in romancing), and 2) to what degree he actually respects female authority.

Our first introduction to Blanche is the scene in which Guillaume, Ian and Henri de Bar are talking about her right before the audience in Paris, during which we learn that the vast majority of noblemen do not take her opinions seriously and do not appreciate seeing her talk during political debates. Even Henri de Bar, although he does not mean to be insolent, raises an eyebrow at the thought of a woman participating in conversations that concern military strategy, while Guillaume seems almost amused at Ian’s heartfelt defence of her speeches. Which is why Geoffrey’s brief interaction with her stands out so much: when she starts talking about the war in England with him, he carefully listens to her as if she were just another male superior officer: he does not appear even slightly surprised by her competence, he does not try to dumb down the topic of discussion, he listens carefully to what she is saying, he offers his opinion only when she asks for it and he answers her questions in the most straightforward way possible. At no point during the conversation does he ever attempt to pull the condescending “with all due respect, madame…” to correct or contradict her statements. He is not in courteous knight mode, he is in soldier mode, and is unfazed by the fact that the one he is discussing logistics and war strategy with is a delicate looking princess. Once again, the author is fleshing out Geoffrey’s character by having the protagonist and point of view character draw a direct comparison between him and other men. Martewall does not simply respect women as in “oh I’m a proper knight and I use my blade to protect defenceless maidens”, he actually, genuinely respects women.

Which in my opinion is such an interesting facet of his values and personality: in the second half of book 2, Ian notices how thoroughly Harald Martewall managed to drill the code of chivalry into his son’s head, and remarks on the fact that the Martewalls are all perfect examples of the True Old School Knights. Both Harald and Geoffrey are the embodiment of the honourable, unyielding, upright warrior trope, and they perfectly fit the image we modern people conjure in our minds when we think of a knight of the Middle Ages. This specific aspect of Geoffrey’s set of values gives his character a strong, let’s say “old-fashioned” connotation, and yet said set of values seems to come from an internal source rather than rely on tradition and external rules. He, for example, got rid of his helm and shield when he saw his adversary in combat was not fully equipped, but he also willingly assisted the Dauphin in taking over England despite having previously sworn an oath of loyalty to John Plantagenet, since his sense of honour compelled him to aid the man who provided him with the help he needed to get his home back. Geoffrey is way more likely to base his choices on what his own moral compass compels him to do rather than resort to convention and tradition to tell right from wrong. This makes Geoffrey a perfect blend of both old and modern qualities, and in the context of his relationship with women he tends to lean quite heavily on his more modern side.

Let’s go back to discussing his first introduction to Brianna for a second: he witnesses Brianna express her unrequited attraction to Ian, flirt with him and even mock-kiss him straight on the lips, and yet not only does that not make Geoffrey respect her any less, it also does not concern him at all later in book 3 when the story hints at the fact that he might have an interest in taking her as his wife. This is a rather unusual attitude! I mean, even the exuberant Etienne de Sancerre, who has shown an overt preference for feisty and confident women, grumbles and protests in jealousy when his wife Donna and Daniel greet each other with a hug while out in public, deeming the gesture to be inappropriate. What I’m trying to say here is that this is a man who is waaaaay ahead of his peers in regards to his view of women and womanhood, and who also appears to be very confident in his masculinity (so confident, in fact, that the thought of having to “put women in their place” never once crosses his mind), hence why I keep sensing the most excellent kind of bisexual vibes coming from him.

Exhibit B: Geoffrey and men

2.1 Jerome and Geoffrey’s friendship makes NO sense

And I mean it. Yes, we do read about Ian wondering how two people with such different sets of core values (ok maybe Jerome lacked core values all together lol) could have ever been friends, which means that yes, readers are in fact meant to notice how misguided Geoffrey is in his commitment to honour this bond of friendship and avenge Jerome’s death, but the more I think about this, the more I convince myself that this whole situation is, in fact…really weird.

Let’s start from the beginning: so, Geoffrey’s anger over Jerome’s death is the main source of conflict between him and Ian, and it puts the plot of book 2 in motion. Now, we never actually saw Geoffrey and Jerome talk to each other in book 1 (because at the time of its drafting the author had not yet planned on writing a sequel for it) so all the available details about their relationship (mind you, there aren’t that many) have to be gleaned from Geoffrey’s recollections present in book 2 and pieced back together in order to get a clearer picture. Another fact that should be noted is that we also never saw Jerome talk about Geoffrey (again, because Geoffrey wasn’t really that relevant to the plot of book 1): Geoffrey’s words are the only source available when it comes to trying to reconstruct what their interactions might have been like, which means that our perspective on their friendship is going to be inevitably, extremely one-sided.

So here we go, book 2, chapter 5: Geoffrey has decided to abduct Ian and Daniel and drag them to his home in England to get some answers and avenge Jerome’s death and he currently has Ian at his mercy, so he immediately starts asking questions. He asks why he currently is not home, he asks why his brother has no knowledge of his whereabouts, he asks if his name really is Jean Marc de Ponthieu, and these are all very dangerous questions: they pose a real threat to Ian’s credibility. But then, when Geoffrey asks why Jerome was so certain he was an imposter, Ian breathes in relief, because that means Geoffrey knows nothing about the ambush in Couronne.

But. Wait a second.

How could Geoffrey possibly not know about Couronne? That’s how Derangale KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that Ian and Jean de Ponthieu were never the same person! Dude was busy forging incriminating letters left and right with Ponthieu’s help??? He was the one who helped Ponthieu and Renaud De Dammartin set Isabeau up to be assaulted by Claude de Dammartin??? Geoffrey explicitly says Jerome was obsessed with Ian, so Derangale must have talked his ear OFF with all his incessant rambling about him being an imposter…and Geoffrey did not bother asking him about the details of this weird doppelganger theory of his ONCE? We know how sharp and observant Geoffrey is. We know he is perceptive, and straightforward in voicing his opinions, and not easy to fool. We know he is the type of guy who likes to ask direct questions and get believable, clear answers in return, so he MUST have asked Jerome why he was so sure about the illegitimacy of Ian’s identity. How did Jerome answer? Did he make up a lie on the spot? Geoffrey is equipped with a very functional built-in anti-nonsense super-sensor (the one that allowed him to immediately spot all the places in which Ian’s deception and intentional gaslighting were coming off at their seams even after Ian had managed to convince Geoffrey’s own father that he was Jean de Ponthieu’s second-born son), so if that was the case – if Jerome had indeed tried to make up some story about why he knew who the real Jean de Ponthieu was – Geoffrey (in theory) would have easily been able to tell that he was being lied to.

Do we then have to assume Jerome simply replied with “I just know”? Well…the text implies that this is the most plausible option: as Ian and Geoffrey’s heated conversation goes on, we realize that the only reason Geoffrey believes Ian to be an imposter is…because Jerome said so. And this, in my opinion, says a lot about both Geoffrey’s relationship with Derangale and his current emotional state. Let’s really think about what this little kidnapping stunt of his must look like from an outside perspective: Geoffrey just decided to abduct a man whose identity has been publicly confirmed by Guillaume de Ponthieu, one of the most powerful men on French soil, who also happens to be a relative of king Philippe Auguste (which means Ian has ties to the royal family as well lol???), who ALSO confirmed that Ian is the youngest Ponthieu brother and PERSONALLY BESTOWED the title of Faucon du Roi upon him. Geoffrey does not (currently) have a shred of proof against Ian: he just chose to believe that Ian is some random foreigner who has been allowed to pretend to be a nobleman and marry Isabeau de Montmayeur by the count of Ponthieu and the king of France because that’s what Jerome believed. Jerome stood alone in front of the entire French court, subjecting himself to ridicule, to denounce Ian as an imposter and Guillaume as a liar (and readers know he is 100% right, but look at this from the perspective of one of the characters who are not involved in this intrigue), which are such far-fetched, absurd, ludicrous accusations, even the closest of Jerome’s friends would have demanded at least some evidence in order to give his version of the story some credit. And yet Geoffrey, who has not been given even one crumb of information on the real Jean de Ponthieu’s actual political alignment, simply decided to stand with him against the rest of the world.

And then, Ian starts answering Geoffrey’s questions by telling him all the vile things Jerome did to him, his family and his friends (while still carefully avoiding the Couronne topic): he tells him of his sadism, villany and criminal actions, and Geoffrey does not believe a single word of what he’s saying. He straight up calls all these accusations lies, and he urges Ian to stop insulting a knight of England his peer and a man of honour deserving of respect. Geoffrey refuses to listen to any negative remark Ian has to make and threatens him with violence when he insists on calling Jerome an unworthy man. “Jerome wasn’t a liar”, he says; “he was my friend, and you killed him”. This is exactly what I meant when I said their friendship strikes me as extremely weird: I mean come on, really? Derangale was a textbook piece of shit. He was violent, vengeful, and arrogant, and yet Geoffrey describes him as a “man of honour”??? It almost seems as if he and Ian are not even talking about the same person??? The sadistic felon Ian met in Cairs is nothing like the friend Geoffrey has such a high opinion of. Which can only mean one thing, namely that when he was with Geoffrey, Jerome was on his best behaviour. And in order to have adapted his behaviour to fit Geoffrey’s expectations of a good and honourable friend, Derangale must have had a very clear picture of the kind of person his “friend” was. Jerome knew Geoffrey would never have allowed all that malicious shit to happen under his watch, so he decided to keep all his plotting a secret from him. Geoffrey never was Jerome’s accomplice in aiding Renaud de Dammartin, Ferrand de Flandre and Jean de Ponthieu steal the Montmayeur fief for king John, and therefore has no reason to believe Ian’s words.

There are two things about this situation that strike me as particularly weird. First of all: Derangale wasn’t just witholding information from Geoffrey, he was also hiding his true nature from him. And Geoffrey…never noticed? Geoffrey, who can usually smell bullshit and deception from a mile away, who has no difficulty in telling a man of honour from a felon, who normally would not bother wasting his time being friends with such an insufferable prick, never managed to guess the true nature of Jerome’s character? Huh??? And secondly: why exactly did Derangale ask for help from a guy he was so sure he would never have been able to turn into one of his accomplices he had to actively keep parts of himself and his plans hidden for months up to the battle in Bouvines? What we know, thanks to Harald Martewall, is that Jerome was the first to reach out to Geoffrey back in book 1: apparently, the two of them used to be friends as young boys, then stopped seeing each other for a couple of years until Derangale decided to pick up the phone and give him a call. Geoffrey was in England, minding his own business, when Jerome contacted him to ask if he was willing to join him in Béarne. He, as sir Harald recalls, “was busy raising a cavalry troop for Ferrand De Flandre, and wanted my last-born as champion in a tournament”. It is not difficult to guess why Derangale asked specifically for Geoffrey to join his faction. Martewall is, simply put, the baddest bitch in the area: he is easily the scariest and most skilled warrior out of all the knights we get to meet in the saga, and an experienced tournament champion is precisely what Jerome needs for the little show he has in plan for Béarne. What I really want to know here is: couldn’t Derangale have called for literally any other English knight to help him win? Why did he risk enrolling a guy he knew would never have approved of his schemes and totally could have kicked his ass if he ever found out about his misconduct? Couldn’t he have called for a couple more champions who would have been overjoyed at the opportunity of beating the shit out of all those French knights? Why did it have to be just him and Geoffrey against the ENTIRETY of Philippe Auguste’s lineup? Why was he so confident in his ability to manipulate Geoffrey? Oh AND. This is an information that is nowhere to be found in the actual books but it is something I asked the author to confirm because I was just too curious: Geoffrey…did not have fun in Béarne, like at all. He did not care for the show Jerome wanted to put on, he did not enjoy participating in that display of strength and superiority, and he was grumpier than usual during the whole ordeal. So our man Jerome basically decided to rely exclusively on Geoffrey’s excellence and made him travel all the way to Béarne instead of putting together a slightly larger faction of fellows who could have maybe shared his immoral cause (like hello?????? it’s literally JUST the two of them against ALL the French nobles competing at the tournament lmfao??? I mean ok girl!!! give us drama! give us spectacle!) despite knowing that 1) he would have had to completely alter his behaviour around him 2) he could never have explained to him why he knew with absolute certainty Ian was an imposter and 3) Geoffrey would have intensely disliked being at the centre of theatrics. Like…I get that Geoffrey is your most skilled friend when it comes to the art of jousting, but… his presence is also a bit too inconvenient in this context? I mean really? You didn’t know any other knights in the area who could have been available as champions? You had to call for Geoffrey? Specifically for him? Haha girl ok! (oh and you also saved some of the custom higher quality blades you had made for your squadron to arm Geoffrey? Ok! Oh and you decided to pick Geoffrey as the other leader of your special squadron? Girl Ok!!! The guy would leave your ass in less than a second if he ever found out about your awful crimes so keeping him at your side is quite the risky move, but you do you I guess).

And another thing is, not only did Geoffrey hate every second of that charade, he (and this is also information that I got directly from the author) was downright shocked at Derangale’s unprompted act of violence against the young count of Grandpré… that was something that caught him completely off guard and that left a bitter taste in his mouth. It makes total sense for Geoffrey to feel this way, that’s very in character for him. What actually, really surprises me is Geoffrey’s reaction at hearing Ian mention this particular incident. You were there, says Ian, you saw Derangale attempt to kill a friend of mine with your own two eyes, and yet you insist on threatening me for calling him a criminal and an assassin. And that’s what finally prompts Geoffrey to lay hands on him. He silences him with a slap so violent it almost makes him fall on the ground. Geoffrey reacted with anger and disbelief when Ian was describing him heinous crimes that he never witnessed and did not believe to be true, but only resorted to physical violence when Ian forced him to acknowledge and condemn an action he actually saw Jerome commit. This brief scene alone is enough for me to confidently conclude that Geoffrey is, there are no other words fit to describe his current emotional state, deep in DENIAL. He hears an uncomfortable truth he has no way of denying, he lets that send him into a violent rage, he acts that violence out and then he ends the whole conversation there. He just. Leaves. And he repeats the same exact pattern of behaviour a second time! Book 2, chapter 12: Martewall starts to interrogate Daniel, who tells him about Derangale’s first attempt at kidnapping Isabeau AND manages to have one of his own men confirm his story. Then Geoffrey becomes visibly agitated, to the point he inadvertently breaks the rod he brought to beat information out of his prisoner in fucking two, CHANGES THE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION ON PURPOSE, and then when Daniel insists on bringing the conversation back to Derangale’s crimes he draws his sword, points it at him in another fit of anger and then! He LEAVES!! AGAIN!!! Bro???????????? You keep saying you “want the truth” and yet when you finally get it you cut the conversation off because you don’t like what you’re hearing? Hello???

“You insist on defending him only because you do not want to admit you have been lied to and manipulated by him”, this is what Daniel says to Martewall’s face, and the most articulate rebuttal he is able to come up with on the spot is “that is not true”. He absolutely did not expect to be confronted with such merciless answers, and he has no idea how to cope with Ian and Daniel ripping into the image of the good and honourable Jerome that only exists in his mind, so he just rejects anything negative they have to say and breaks things like a moody teenager.

His behaviour is extremely erratic. For the entirety of the first half of book 2, Geoffrey is clearly not his usual self. His own father tells him he does not recognize him anymore. And when Sir Harald confronts him and makes an attempt at urging him to release Daniel, Geoffrey reacts with something I would almost describe as a…temper tantrum? Sir Harald’s request for an explanation from his son is more than legit: after all, he just learned from Daniel that Geoffrey decided to kidnap a renowned nobleman on a whim, without any evidence of his supposed crimes, WITHIN THE BORDERS OF HIS FIEF IN FRENCH LANDS. That could get them in SERIOUS trouble with both his brother Guillaume de Ponthieu and Philippe Auguste himself, as Salisbury will later remark on. I mean, this action is not only dishonourable, as Sir Harald will be very quick to point out, but also extremely stupid. And Geoffrey is not stupid. Like, at all. He knows when to shut up, his rage is usually under check, he is not prone to acting out in anger or taking rash decisions. But here, Geoffrey is letting his emotions run rampant. His father is being perfectly reasonable, and he replies quite disrespectfully by stating that he is not a young boy anymore and that he will not allow for any reproach o interference on his part.

It should be noted that Geoffrey’s troubled state of mind is not solely the result of Jerome’s death. In fact, in chapter 12, Geoffrey makes it clear why he is so angry and frustrated. He lays out all of his reasons to his father:

“I’ve always done my duty and I lost my honour because of those to whom I owed my loyalty. I fought loyally until the very end, I paid my defeat with imprisonment, only to discover at my release that my name is associated to those of a friend deemed a felon and a king judged a coward; I return to my homeland and I end up on a list of traitors because of you! I am forced to be subject to the last two accusations, but the first…that one I intend to acquit myself from with any means necessary. At this point, I have already lost my dignity as a knight and you are the last person who can reproach me for it, since you are the one who dealt me the final blow”.

Geoffrey’s words reveal that he is also doing all of this for himself. He is now more desperate than ever to prove Jerome was always in the right, since this seems to be the only means of coping with the loss of his precious honour. The thought of having been friends with a felon of this magnitude is something Geoffrey could never, ever tolerate, because what would this say about him as a person? This explains the state of denial he currently is in: he has done something he would normally see as despicable by kidnapping Ian in his own lands, but he could excuse acting like a vulgar bandit if only he managed to force a confession out of Ian and avenge Jerome’s death (have I already mentioned Geoffrey has NO business being mad about Jerome meeting his demise at Ian’s hands? Dude was killed in fair combat. On a battlefield. Ian did not assassinate him or anything of that sort, there simply are NO good reasons as for why Geoffrey could ever want to “avenge” his friend’s death?? like there’s literally nothing to avenge here??? Lol???). And although Geoffrey is indeed defending Jerome’s honour because he feels that his crimes, if proven true, could reflect badly on himself, Geoffrey’s words still betray real attachment and a genuine feeling of affection for Jerome. Ian himself will later recognize their bond as valid by directly comparing it to the sentiment of friendship he shares with Daniel. At the time of Ian’s abduction, Geoffrey did not yet know that he would eventually be forced to fight yet another war once he’d finally reach his home: at that point in the story, Geoffrey’s motives for taking Ian and Daniel as prisoners had little to do with him wanting to gain back the honour he now feels his father tore from him by ordering him to side with him against their king. The primary motivation for his disreputable conduct in chapters 4 to 10 was, in my opinion, grief.

Another thing that I find extremely interesting and that in a way contradicts what I mentioned above about Geoffrey not being able to tolerate the thought of having been friends with a criminal, is that once he starts to come to terms with the proof of Jerome’s misconduct…he never disavows their friendship. What he says once he finally accepts Ian as his friend and lets go of Jerome’s obsession is: “I did everything in my power to honour our friendship, going even beyond common sense”. He never tries to claim they were never really friends or proclaim he wants to cut all ties with such a man. And towards the end of book 3, when Geoffrey and Ian are discussing what Ian’s exile really implicates and Ian is finally forced to admit he never was Jean de Ponthieu, Geoffrey all of a sudden brings Derangale into their conversation to reflect on how Jerome was right all along and how happy he is to learn that he at least did not lie to him about this one specific thing. Well, maybe I’m reading too much into this, but I was expecting him to focus on the sheer amount of lies he had been fed by…you know, Ian, the friend who happens to be alive and whom he is currently confronting. He does not even seem interested in asking Ian to explain himself, it is Ian who apologises to him, completely unprompted. They were having a conversation about Philippe Auguste and Guillaume de Ponthieu wielding the power to destroy his life, and after several beats of silence and intense consideration, what Geoffrey decided to say out loud was “I’m happy Jerome didn’t lie to me about you”? Ummmmmmm ok??????????? Lying to him certainly was not the worst thing Jerome has ever done? What about the many crimes he committed against Ian, his friends and his family? What I’m trying to say here is that Daniel’s argument about Geoffrey having been manipulated by Jerome must have cut deep, since here he is, bringing this up again. Derangale died more than two years ago, and Geoffrey already gave up on trying to redeem his honour and reputation, but he appears to be still in the middle of the process of learning to truly let him go. Dealing with the idea of having been deceived in such a cold way by a close friend to whom he though he owed unwavering loyalty is proving to be challenging. I might be delusional but I can only make sense of the fact Geoffrey brought Jerome into their conversation about Ian only to briefly touch on a strictly personal matter that concerned his own feelings and his private relationship with Ian’s old archenemy if I assume Geoffrey was, at this point in time, still dealing with some very intense and complicated feelings (….furthermore…………it doesn’t…really…make sense…for Geoffrey to be happy about Jerome telling him that Ian’s identity was a hoax…since the whole point of telling him that…was getting his help in destroying Ian and not really “being honest” with him…like…Geoffrey, love, why are you so desperately hanging on to these miniscule scraps of “““honest and genuine interactions”””, why do you still treasure this literal MICROSCOPIC CRUMB of “““sincerity””” on Jerome’s part…hello…………………???). Sorry but this whole Jerome/Geoffrey mess just exudes one-sided, unfulfilled and unacknowledged tenderness in copious amounts once you really start to read into it. My personal interpretation of the situation is that Geoffrey is having such a hard time trying to make sense of the extent of Derangale’s manipulation and condemning him as someone who was always undeserving of his friendship and devotion because he completely lacks the tools to properly analyse and interpret his own feelings on the matter.

2.2 Geoffrey and Ian vs Geoffrey and Jerome

I’m touching briefly on Ian and Geoffrey’s friendship dynamics in book 3 mainly because I think that their relationship will provide me with some good clues and parallels that could be of help in determining what Geoffrey was like when he was in Jerome’s company, since the third instalment in the series gives us such a wonderful and complete picture of the kind of friend Geoffrey is. Remember how Geoffrey immediately sided with Ian against Gant without asking for evidence against him and came to Ian’s rescue twice despite having very important businesses to attend to? Geoffrey has repeatedly shown that he has a tendency to be aggressively protective of his closest friends, to the point he has no problem resorting to extreme violence to ensure their safety (Ian, bleeding on the floor, gripping Geoffrey’s arm: “please tell me you took at least one of my assailants alive I’m going to need a witness???????” Geoffrey: “…” Ian: “…” The pile of corpses right behind them: “…” Geoffrey: “…sorry lol I kinda dealt with them in a bit of a heavy handed way” Ian: whimpers and collapses in his arms). Geoffrey’s attitude in regards to Ian’s enemies perfectly explains why he never had any qualms siding with Jerome against Ian despite the fact Derangale wasn’t telling him shit about the supposed evidence behind his outlandish claims. This is actually part of his regular pattern of behaviour: Geoffrey has consistently shown a thorough commitment towards undying trust and unconditional support through direct action. He might seem cold and aloof since he is never seen behave in an overtly friendly or approachable way when he is out in public (he also does not smile ONCE throughout the whole trilogy), but this right here is, in my opinion, a very affectionate man who is capable of forming true and intimate bonds with a handful of hand-picked men whose company he deeply treasures. Let’s talk about how Geoffrey U-turned at the speed of light to go back and help Ian corner Gant even though he was in the middle of carrying out an extremely important mission for Blanche of Castile. Let’s talk about how Derangale did not even have the time to fall to the ground after Ian delivered him the finishing blow, because Geoffrey literally teleported behind him to catch him, hoist him on his horse and take him to safety (let’s also talk about how Ian later found Derangale’s corpse among those of all the abandoned fallen soldiers the imperial army was not able to retrieve, and saw that his dead body had been laid on a shield with care, which means Geoffrey probably was the one responsible for preserving his dignity in death since we know for a fact he was there to hear Derangale’s last words and witness him die – I am literally about to start screaming please send help :)))))))). Do not let his grumpiness and harsh words fool you, Geoffrey is the most dedicated best friend another knight could ever ask for.

HOWEVER, the main difference between the two relationships I am comparing is that Geoffrey’s support of Ian is always unconditional, but never irrational in the same way his pursuit of revenge on Jerome’s behalf was, and at no point in the story does Geoffrey fail in evaluating Ian’s character or intentions. Furthermore, Ian’s gaslighting game was ON POINT in book 2, he was warping reality around Geoffrey like a damn magician, but Geoffrey never fully bought into his carefully crafted lies. And yet I am expected to believe that Derangale was such a skilled master manipulator he was able to conceal his true nature and agenda from Geoffrey for months? Hello??? PLEASE! Make it make sense!!! The ease with which Derangale was able to withold crucial information from him is extremely suspicious. Really? You mean to tell me Jerome Derangale had one of the least gullible people in the saga wrapped around his finger for years and never once slipped and misbehaved in front of him? Sorry I know at this point I must sound extremely redundant but Geoffrey’s selective blindness towards anything that concerns Derangale really is the weirdest thing ever, like, uh oh! Are you sure you didn’t catch any overly soft feelings for your bestie? So…I’m gonna say it: my theory on why Geoffrey’s behaviour was all over the place in the first chapters of book 2 is that he has always been completely unaware of the true nature and extent of his emotional attachment to Derangale, and this cluelessness of his contributed to worsening his already frustrated state. Furthermore, I also think Derangale must have noticed something was going on with Geoffrey and decided to use it to his advantage. Dude was a bit too confident, suspiciously confident in his ability to keep Geoffrey at his side without having to disclose any kind of compromising information.

In conclusion:

What I’m trying to say here is that I’m pretty convinced Geoffrey Martewall is not one of the straights. To sum all of this up, he:

-drinks astronomical amounts of his own extra strong brew of respect women juice on a daily basis

-has a tendency to get very attached to a few selected male friends who he then proceeds to protect with everything he has

-never noticed his old friend (👀) was lying to him, acted in a very out of character and erratic way for a while after his old friend’s (👀👀) death and was ready to commit actual crimes in an attempt to honour his old friend’s (👀👀👀) memory.

So. Yeah. The bi vibes are there. I would rather die than give up my Clueless Bisexual King Geoffrey Martewall headcanons! Sorry but a straight Geoffrey would make zero sense to me. Your honour can’t you see!!! this guy is WAY too cool not to be bi!!!

I rest my case.

P.S. I cannot BELIEVE I’m actually posting this monster on the day of the anniversary of the battle of Bouvines??? I swear I didn’t do it on purpose, at first I was really annoyed at the fact that putting this together was taking me weeks but then yesterday while I was editing I realized I would eventually be able to publish this on the very day Derangale died and Geoffrey was taken prisoner :’’) Perfect timing am I right?

#I love....Geoffrey Martewall...so fucking much i literallyhschbcbg !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#He!!!!!!! HNGGGGG #also this is probably full of mistakes and typos and whatnot but i don't care at this point i just want to get my point across #and my point is that Geoffrey has to be bi and i am . right #haha ooops my Jerome/Geoffrey agenda is finally out in the open for everyone to see haha ooooooopppppp #anyway i've never posted anything this long before #Geoffrey was worth every single word I spent talking abt him tho #hyperversum #I'm tired I'm going to bed now byeeeeee #Geoffrey Martewall #Jerome Derangale #Ian Maayrkas

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casually-inlove · 4 years

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Hello. In one of your responses, you wrote: "I also have things that I don't necessarily agree with." Can you tell us about it? I am very interested in your representation of this manhua. What do you think is written well in the story, and what is not? What would you add or remove? What is missing and what is too much in history? I would very much like to know your TianShan headcanon. I have too many "wants". I'm sorry if I was rude.

Dear anon, this was not rude at all. Indeed, you have many questions, so much as I try to be concise in my posts, this one is going to be very lengthy. Let me start with a little disclaimer. Everything below is entirely subjective. It is in no way meant to undermine anyone's enjoyment of the series, nor is it supposed to be an attack against the author. I value the comic's episodic nature and light-heartedness myself, otherwise, I would not have stuck around. It is also true that for the past half a year my interest in it waxes and wanes. Besides, I am well aware that certain groups of fans grow dissatisfied with the manhua direction. That said, I must state once again, OX has every right to write the story as they please, while the fans, no matter how displeased they may be, do not have the room to make demands of the author. So then, without further ado, some of my quibblings follow below. Beware of the wall-of-text.

1) The plot and characters get stagnant at times — these two go hand in hand. I suppose it is a prevalent gripe with 19 Days, and I am sure everyone has experienced it at least once. Some of it stems from the very way the story is told: the manhua timeline moves slowly in comparison with the readers' timeline. It works for depicting slow-burn relationships and subtle changes in the characters' outlooks. The problem is, more often than not, the latest chapters are inconsequential to either plot or character growth. They do not have the substance or the conflict to them. When OX had introduced the characters, while undoubtedly charming and loveable, they were practically walking tropes. Jian Yi, the bubbly airhead. ZZX, the stoic childhood friend. HT, Mr Popular. As time passed, OX did the clever (and the right) thing — they have subverted these stereotypes, by showing us that the characters are not who they appear to be. Thus, we learned that Jian Yi is a lonesome, affection deprived kid who on occasion dreads going back home because it's empty; his bright grin is there to hide his sadness. We also learned that HT had a dysfunctional family and had been exposed to violence since a tender age; we also learned that he used to lead an empty life devoid of close interpersonal connections and passions, etc. I am not going to write about Mo because it is obvious and self-explanatory.

That sudden change in the perspective is what made those characters fascinating. A few of these developments co-occur with the addition of the “darker” mafia/gangster subplot. Indeed, the introduction of the criminal legacy theme (which is true for Jian Yi, He Tian, and Mo to an extent) allowed to show the wounds and troubles these characters had to face. It also dangled the prospect of an intriguing plot direction — a mafia-related story that is disguised as a school-themed slice-of-life. It was the underlying gangster plot-line that hooked me up; I kept asking myself: Are they connected (the Jian family, the He family)? Were they responsible for what happened with the Mo family restaurant? Will their backgrounds converge at some point? How does Jia Yi's kidnapping fit into all this? That sort of stuff. Alas, right now that subplot seems to be put on a backburner, which is a shame because this is the plot-line that leads to future events, such as Jian Yi's disappearance. The kidnapping is still going to happen and the threat looming over Jian Yi is still real, yet OX does very little to explain anything about it. Naturally, revealing everything at once is out of the question, but if it were me, I would have opted for unveiling bits and pieces now and then. To start with, it would have propelled the plot forward. Apart from that, it would have given the readers some food for thought and kept the intrigue fresh — they would have been cracking their heads to piece the puzzle. Finally, the characters' darker backgrounds provide the opportunity to give them development. For instance, how would Mo's view of He Tian change, if he learned that the latter had to face his warped father to save Mo (ch. 245 and further on)? Or how would Mo react, if he learned that He Tian lost his mother (presumably) due to his family shady dealings? Would it make him understand the other boy, relate to him on some level? Etc.

The comedy and fun, light moments are precious, but I miss those moments when the manhua challenged my impression of the characters. Right now, the plot stagnates in the sense that we know that someone is threatening Jian Yi, but we aren't being given any clues or updates on the matter, as if the whole thing wasn't important. So, in response to your question “what would I have removed”, I would say that I would probably drop quite a few school-centric chapters in favour of “criminal” subplot. Just a bit: maybe show Mr Jian's messages, or Jian Yi's mother discussing the situation with him, or He Cheng receiving some reports on the situation.

The character recent portrayal also disappoints me on occasion. They started as stereotypical manga characters, then they were given some depth, and now they are close to becoming yet another set of stereotypes. Yeah, I get that Mo is a tsundere and enamoured He Tian is an idiot in love — OX has been depicting them as such for the past year. It would be cool to take a look at other facets of their personalities now and then too. While it’s understandable that only a few weeks have passed since the beginning of the story, OX should remember that years have passed for the readers; keeping the audience engaged should be among their priorities.

I suppose I do have a bias here because as an adult I have little interest in all things school-related, and in general, I am not too fond of slice-of-life (I typically avoid reading it).19 Days attracted me because it had some universal themes, like dealing with past and legacy, finding your path, healing from the old scars, learning to handle difficult relationships within a family, and of course its low-key “mafia” subplot. It could be that OX truly doesn't have a meticulously chapter-to-chapter thought-out plot, hence why the manhua meanders at times, or it could have something to do with Mosspaca's internal agenda. Perhaps, it is the latter and the company somehow insists its artists stick with simplistic plots for the sake of keeping their target audience. Even so, there's a catch here, which was brought to the attention by @agapaic: the original reader audience has aged up already so to keep them hooked it would be wise of OX to “mature up” the comic as well. Not in the sense of 18+ content, but in the sense of introducing more mature subjects alongside the comedy and slice of life. Perhaps, they are not looking to keep the fans but to attract the new, younger ones. Who knows.

2) Drama and comedy imbalance. It is a pet peeve of mine which I consider to be one of the prominent manhua flaws: there is lots of slapstick comedy which ends up being out of place on occasion. I do realize the comic is humorous, however, there is no denying that OX introduced themes and topics that are no laughing matters. Jian Yi's and He Tian's loneliness, bullying and ostracizing, extortion racket, absentee parents, youth gangs and violence — just to name a few. There is a lot more, but you get the picture.

It is also obvious that three out of four main characters carry the remnants of childhood trauma with them, which directly affects their present selves. All the same, these topics practically fizzle out as soon as they get introduced, or get swept under the rug with comedy. Considering the humorous nature of the comic, it is given that dispersing some grimmer topics with playfulness will be used now and then. To my mind, however, OX relies on that abrupt drama-to-comedy switch too heavily, which makes the transition steep and often out of place. At times, it creates an impression that the author does not take these issues seriously. There have been numerous episodes when emotional moments were subverted and then dropped, without gaining climax and closure. For instance, the moment that sticks out to me the most is when He Tian attempted to tell Mo why he liked him. The visuals made it clear that it wasn't easy for He Tian to say out loud, yet OX never gave the intense moment the needed closure.

Mo brushed He Tian off and the latter just rolled with it, as if it never took him any courage to say those words, and then everything was swiftly engulfed by slapstick humour (the ball-slapping scene). A panel showing a glimpse of He Tian's face sinking to indicate he was somewhat let down by Mo's nonchalant response would have been appropriate — in fact, it would be natural for someone to get hurt when their confession is taken lightly. Likewise, I half-expected OX to show a bit more of He Tian's reaction towards Mo's story about his meeting with She Li. We got to see his expression darkening when he learned that She Li gave Mo the ear piercings, yet this time — mind you, when Mo suggested that She Li might have murdered someone — we never see He Tian react much. For the record, it was He Tian who asked She Li a rhetorical question about being able to take responsibility for taking a life.

Furthermore, I believe that someone romantically invested in another human being would have naturally shown more inquisitiveness upon hearing a story like that. Sure enough, some would say that Mo would not have liked talking about a traumatizing event, and that is fine as well — just show it. A single panel of He Tian being concerned and trying to inquire further and Mo refusing to talk would have been a very neat detail that could have potentially smoothed the transition into humour, while keeping our heroes in character.

3) Sometimes there is too much focus on the couples. The manhua has introduced several reoccurring supporting characters which are directly linked to our main quartet. For example, Mo had bonds before meeting our boys: his henchmen, the Buzzcut. Likewise, He Cheng was the one to raise He Tian; he shaped the boy's outlook on life. These characters all played important roles in making our boys the people they are today, and yet we know so little of their bonds. Maybe the Buzzcut is unimportant in the larger scheme of things, He Cheng, however, is not only linked to He Tian, but he also plays a part in the underlying mafia/gangster subplot. It would have made sense if he was the one to shed some light on the situation with Jian Yi and He Tian's traumatic past. I would have loved to see our boys interact with other people as well — it would have served to show the variety of relationships out there: friendships, familial bonds, mutual respect between the leader and underlings, etc.

Anyway, I am going to stop now. I could name a few more, but this text is already more than 2000 words long. I have made some posts with my nitpicking before, so if you wish you can read them here.

link & link

Once again, this is all entirely subjective and it is not meant to be perceived as me saying that the manhua is poorly written and no one should enjoy it. Writing and creating compelling plots is a tough job, especially when it comes to long pieces. It also goes without saying that the author should keep their target audience and marketing goals in mind. 19 Days appeals to a great number of people of all ages and that means that OX succeeded in creating something compelling. Their writing is indeed flawed at times, but there is no way around it. It is impossible to excel both at being a great artist and a good writer. While there may be things that each of us would want to change (when comes to characters or the plot), it is still important to remember that it is not our creation. We can only decide whether to keep reading and enjoy what we get or move along. There is no point in attacking the author or generating constant pessimism.

#19 days #long post #that...was a tiresome writing #Anonymous #q&a time

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silvokrent · 4 years

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I just thought of something and wanted to share, but Tyrian seems to enjoy pain now, but he didn't seem to enjoy getting his tail chopped off. Do you think he was always like that and we just never saw it, or was it more along the lines that no pain can be as bad as losing his tail, so now all other pain is enjoyable in comparison? IDK, just wanted to see what other people think.

I was actually talking with my sister about this pretty recently. The conclusion we came to was that Tyrian is a situational masochist—he enjoys pain, as long as it’s on his terms. There’s not a ton of direct evidence for this in canon without heavily relying on subtext, but I think you could make a pretty compelling argument that Tyrian was always a little into it (whether or not he gets some sort of sexual thrill from pain is a conversation for another day, but I digress).

I’ll highlight a few notable moments:

During the events covered by V4E6 “Tipping Point” and V4E7 “Punished,” he actively relishes the prospect of fighting Team RNJR. The majority of that desire is likely sadistic, because the people he’s hunting down are easy prey. They’re not licensed Huntsmen. They didn’t even complete a year of formal training at an Academy. They are outclassed in literally every conceivable way. You’d assume that he’s excited to be fighting opponents that he can easily overpower, which is absolutely true, but when Jaune announces their intention to fight (“We’re not going to let you do that”), Tyrian is pleased (“Good”). On some level, he knows that engaging them means the risk of sustaining injuries, however minimal that risk might be. And yet he’s fucking thrilled by it. So either he enjoys the act of his victims resisting, in an “Aww, it’s cute that they think they can fight me and win” sort of way. Or he enjoys an inevitable victory that involves taking a bit of a beating to achieve. Later, when Qrow makes his entrance, Tyrian is practically gleeful. Instead of being concerned about getting wounded by a veteran fighter who is arguable equal in skill level, Tyrian reacts positively. Finally, someone who can take and dish out whatever Tyrian throws at him. You see glimpses of this during the fight: When Ruby pelts him with bullets from the rooftop, Tyrian chooses to deflect them with his tail. Even if the shots don’t inflict damage, they’d still be contributing to gradual Aura depletion (and if I recall correctly, Aura doesn’t make you immune to pain, just injury). I think it’s a deliberate choice that he chose to tank the shots rather than dodge, all the while smiling. Even after his Aura is broken, he continues to fight with a fucking grin on his face. He’s outnumbered and susceptible to killing blows, but he doesn’t hesitate to press his advantage. It’s only when he loses his tail does he concede defeat, and flee for safety.

V6E4, better known as That Scene. There’s no denying that he cut himself on Thief’s Respite with the intention of intimidating Emerald, but if his motivation was exclusively to make her feel uncomfortable, he could’ve achieved that any number of ways. He didn’t have to injure himself to do it, but he did, and not only that, but he savored that pain in front of her. This was meant to communicate a very specific message: “Not only can you not hurt me, but I would enjoy it if you tried.” I think @kaen-ace-of-ravenclaw said it best here.

In V7E11 “Gravity,” toward the end of his fight against Qrow/Clover/Robyn, when Tyrian’s Aura is depleted by Robyn’s exploding crossbow bolt he has this look on his face. I know pain can make people loopy, but when someone’s experiencing pain-induced delirium, they usually don’t look happy about it. Tyrian’s still conscious enough to fucking giggle as he’s lying there, incapacitated. I don’t necessarily think he was planning on losing this fight, and he clearly didn’t intend to have his Aura run out, but you can’t deny that he’s having a good time. At minimum, the pain doesn’t faze him; or, more likely, it felt good on some level.

I’m not going to bother dissecting the entire Tyrian/Qrow/Clover fight, but that moment in V7E12 “With Friends Like These” where he dislocates his thumb…yeah. You see him licking his lips as he’s trying to exert enough pressure on his hands, a gesture that we’ve seen paired exclusively with him enjoying pain—whether it’s someone else’s (the waitress in V4E5, the party attendees in V7E6), or his own. The obvious argument is that he injured himself solely to escape his bonds, to which I say: really? He’s sitting in the middle of a crashed plane with a broken windshield, and you’re gonna tell me that he couldn’t get up and use the edges of the glass to cut himself free? He didn’t need to hurt himself to get free—he chose to. And he liked it.

If I had to hazard a guess about his reaction to losing a portion of his tail, I’d wager that it was a combination of shock and rage. He’s not angry about the pain so much as he is that he lost one of the tools in his arsenal. He’s angry because being wounded meant having to retreat due to unfavorable odds (failing his Goddess is not acceptable). The tail functions as a fifth limb that assists in his signature acrobatic capoeira-based attacks. He’s had 30+ years to adapt to a fighting style that relies on freeing up his hands (unlike his opponents, he doesn’t grasp his weapons in his hands), so he could pivot while retaining combat mobility. And now, all of a sudden, it’s gone. Tyrian’s adaptable, but he’s not stupid: three of his opponents still have active Auras, and the fourth exploited an opening to seriously maim him. To me, his initial reaction read as “ow this fucking hurts and I was in no way prepared to deal with the pain of AMPUTATION.”

So yes, I think Tyrian was always Like That™, but due to the pacing of the plot, there wasn’t any time to include scenes that overtly showed him being masochistic. He doesn’t mind pain inflicted by his opponents (unless the pain is incapacitating), and he seems to enjoy pain that he anticipates/self-inflicts.

At the very least, this makes for fun speculation, and you can’t deny that this is great headcanon material.

#rwby #rwby thought dump #rwby worldbuilding #tyrian callows #asks #my posts #i speak #kittencowfrog #it's always a pleasure to see your name in my inbox #thanks for the ask!

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sandersspectrum · 4 years

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Which Side is Most Likely to Go Dark - Analysis

We’ve all heard the story - The hero, disheartened by his failures or seduced by the wins of the villain, leaves their life of honor and instead joins the morally-corrupt side, leaving behind their friends who must then fight to get them back. It’s not an uncommon plot, and it’s a favorite one of mine to theorize over. So the question is, if Thomas was to decide to take the plot in this direction, which side would he choose?

When I first started this analysis, I set off with two main suspects. But as I dug deeper, I ran across a unique phenomenon that throws a wrench into pretty much any Sanders Sides analysis... The characters aren’t just characters, they’re representations of experiences and mental states, and therefore their character arcs will tie back into what they represent. As an example, we see a beat in Patton’s story that he holds a morally high standard to those around him, including Thomas, to a level that can be harmful to Thomas’s mental state. This isn’t a beat that I would normally expect to see in a character who is as bright and accepting as Patton normally is, but it is a beat I would expect to see from a character that represents the concept of “morality”, of being a good person and having good values and purity. Therefore, analyzing them the way I would a normal character is doing a disservice to the concept of the show, so I started over, and I found an unlikely angle on this analysis - they’re all likely suspects, but for different reasons. Let me explain.

Logan - The Characterization Angle

From the point of view of a character build, Logan is yards beyond any of the others in his natural pull towards The Dark Side. As a core part of his character, Logan rejects the notion of emotion and sentiment, and this leads him to very often being harsh or dismissive towards the other sides’ issues, including Thomas’s. This already gives him a darker tone as a base; he’s willing to ignore important parts of Thomas simply for the Most Efficient Path, and this could even be true from day one. Logan doesn’t need a character arc to convince him to be a dark side - Logic, if too heavily relied upon, could easily have been a dark side from day one. All he needed was Patton to be a little less vocal and just like that he’s the side suppressing the others in the name of Productivity. However, Logan has another, directly contradicting trait that gives makes a dark side twist a possibility: He doesn’t only dismiss others emotions, he dismisses his own.

In Learning New Things About Ourselves, we see Logan lash out in anger. Roman calls his need to always state “literal” or “figurative” stupid, and Logan screams and throws a wad of paper at him. The other sides seem slightly concerned, but Logan himself seems taken completely aback, as if the reaction was so far out of the realm of possibility that he wouldn’t have considered himself capable of it until he did it, which very much reflects what we see from Logan throughout the series. He’s consistently denying that he experiences any emotion, saying that he is “fearless, therefore powerful” in Phases and flat out that he “doesn’t feel anything” in Selflessness vs. Selfishness. However, both of these occurrences are pointed up in universe, first with skepticism from Thomas and then with patronizing reassurance from Deceit, to be untrue. This could foreshadow a huge twist in Logan’s character, one where Deceit reveals to Logan that he’s been lying to himself this whole time and Logan is, in fact, suppressing a lot of Thomas’s “negative” reactions by claiming that they’re irrational. In much a similar way to Remus, however, ignoring Anger doesn’t make it go away, and it’s possible that in devastation that logic can’t get rid of these irrational feelings, Logan becomes consumed by these emotions and turns evil in that manner. Instead of being the voice of reason for the group, he becomes aggressive and emotional, forcing the other sides to be the level-headed ones for once and encouraging him to stop trying to paint anger as a Bad Thing that only Illogical People experience and instead accepting it as a natural part of human nature, a feeling that All People Have and there are Healthy, Logical ways to deal with it. Of course, this could also be something that is explored through the side that contrasts Logan - Anger would certainly be a good fit for the color Orange, don’t you think?

As it stands, Logan is probably the most likely side to go dark from just Character Arcs alone. However, he’s not the side who is most likely to go dark from a storytelling perspective.

Roman - The Story Angle

At the core of who Roman is, he is a Fairytale Hero. He almost has his own world he lives in where he’s a prince and his brother is an evil duke, he fights Dragon Witches and has a Sworn Duty to one day raise Thomas up to the status he deserves in this world. And this fact makes the concept that if Roman were to turn dark it would be almost Cinematic in nature so, so sweet. Unlike Logan, Roman’s fall from grace would be just that - a fall. Instead of being shown the darkness in him all along, Roman would have to be broken to be pulled to the dark side. Deceit would finally have to wear him down, convince him that being Honest and Honorable isn’t how the world works, and that no one has ever become famous by being honest. It would be one of the hardest falls for the character themselves to handle as well. Roman’s personality has always been easily wrapped up in the fact that he’s idealistic. He lives in a world of Heroes and Villains, where people are Good and Evil, and while Deceit is a master of exploiting this weakness by twisting words and stringing Roman along on lines of compliments and subtle jabs, Patton is also very good at using this to keep Roman on the straight and narrow. It would take a pretty big setback for Roman to lose his faith. But... They’re certainly not moving away from that direction in the story, are they?

Let’s look at some of Roman’s story beats so far, shall we? Firstly, his pride is wounded by messing up during an audition to the point of not being able to show his face in a video. Secondly, the side that represents what he considers “the one big thing that gets in the way” of his job is suddenly starting to be listened to, heeded, worked with. And while that’s a good thing, and Virgil stops being a massive stumbling block and instead just a voice of caution, it certainly can’t help Roman’s pride much. Thirdly, Roman is consistently shut down and berated for his desire to rekindle an old romance of Thomas’s, then soon after he’s knocked down by Logan calling him delusional and unrealistic, then THE NEXT EPISODE Logan gets recognition for a passion that Roman himself shares, and then two episodes after that Roman gives up on the biggest opportunity that Character Thomas has ever received and then spends the next episode out cold while his evil twin corrupts the very idea of creativity for Thomas. That’s... A lot, you guys. You can’t ignore that out of all the characters, Roman probably takes the roughest plot beats and throughout all of it he’s played for an upbeat, idealistic dreamer. But dreamers and hopers tend to be fragile, and I can’t imagine that Roman can take too much more of this until he cracks. And like I said, the character arc would be almost cinematic. Thomas’s creativity, the side that controls his livelihood and his passions and his drive, finally breaks under the pressure and gives up his naive and idealistic worldview in order to side with Deceit, saying that the only way Thomas will ever succeed is by sacrificing being “a good person” in order to accomplish. Maybe Thomas even goes in for this for a bit, and it works, but he finds that he hates life at the top if it means that he has to shut his empathy and hope down and become distrusting of everyone and deceitful.

So now we’ve covered the two sides that I started this analysis for... But what about Patton and Virgil? What about that Conceptual Factor I mentioned earlier? Well.

Patton and Virgil - The Concept Angle

Sanders Sides is a story about emotions, about understanding aspects of personalities. These aspects themselves can’t be treated like normal characters, because they’re not really people. They’re representations of metaphysical ideas, and that brings its own ideas to consider, the first idea being that what Patton and Virgil represent would both be served well by being represented in a dark light.

If you’ve been in the fandom for more than about a month, you’ve likely heard the phrase “unsympathetic Patton”. This is a headcanon/AU that centers around Patton being manipulative and controlling, although it can be extended much further than the story itself shows, what I found interesting about this view on Patton is that it’s actually a legitimate criticism of Patton as a character and even for what his basis is - Morality. You see, from almost the start of the series we see Patton holding Thomas to a high standard and throughout we see it continually damage Thomas. Heck, we even got in-universe confirmation through Remus that Patton freaks out whenever Thomas so much as considers something that Patton considers “morally unacceptable” that he’s willing to ignore and shut off entire sides of Thomas he doesn’t wish to acknowledge. This could be indicative that they’re planning on taking Patton’s character in a bit more of a darker direction, in fact one thing I’ve found interesting is that the other sides seem to be able to forcefully influence the others when they grow too strong such as Deceit keeping their mouths shut or Anxiety driving them to panic in his room, and we see Patton himself use this power on Roman a few times via stern glance that makes Roman immediately walk back whatever morally grey suggestion he makes. In the narrative Patton’s intentions are good, he wants Thomas to be A Good Person, but the lesson that viewing your understanding of morality as hard and fast rules and any deviation from it automatically makes you Bad can be severely damaging. It’s a lesson that isn’t represented much in fiction and I honestly think Patton could be a good conduit for exploring that.

However... there is a huge negative that I feel necessary to address with that analysis and it’s that turning Patton, even temporarily, into a dark side would be a massive base breaker. A Base Breaker is a character or an event that is so controversial to an established fanbase that it ends up driving away some of the fans, and I honestly believe that this would break the base of the Sanders Sides fandom. See, the fandom is made up of a decently diverse spread of personalities and the idea of Unsympathetic Patton is an established AU, but a good amount of Fanders consider Patton to be a character they can relate to or admire. He represents something warm and friendly, a father figure from day one who accepts Anxiety and encourages the sides to fight for what’s right and I honestly believe that taking him in a direction that is darker would corrupt that concept for a lot of fans and it would be a controversial move that would be hard to accept. I think that the best way to handle this story arc would be to keep it as a B-side arc, where it’s developed quietly through episodes like Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts where other sides take center stage and Patton merely acknowledges and learns from being too strict instead of turning him into the center of an arc and causing him to go Full Dark Side even if it is an important lesson.

Virgil’s a similar case - as a character, Virgil has already been redeemed once and it would make sense to keep his character as a reactionary character where he reacts to Deceit turning up and he interacts with the light sides based on his experiences as a dark side like he has been. However, Virgil represents Anxiety, and it would be a similarly important lesson to get across that recovery from anything, be it anxiety or depression or intrusive thoughts, isn’t a straight line. Accepting that you have anxiety isn’t always the end-all-be-all, and situations can catapult you right back into a state where anxiety might be working against you again and you need to deal with those issues.

This has the downside of the fact that it’s hard to have the same antagonist twice. It’s hard to redeem a character and have them relapse without making the audience tired and feel cheated. There’s some pretty decent groundwork laid out for it, such as the fact that Virgil was much more laid back as an antagonist and seems much more out of his element when he’s with the light sides as well as the others refusing to say the word “paranoid” as if Virgil has some sort of symbolic “final form” dark side, however much like Patton I’m not so sure that this is the direction Thomas and Friends will take this series, although less because it would be a controversial move and more that it would just be a little bit harder to pull off from a storytelling perspective than, say, Roman.

Your TL;DR is that all the sides hav e a possibility to go dark, although my personal favorite would be finally seeing Roman break and turn evil. Of course, it’s entirely possible that none of the sides will “go dark”, after all we have a perfectly presentable sympathetic antagonist in Deceit and there’s still the possibility of one or more sides cropping up in the future, this is simply just a fun analysis about some possible directions the series could take. However, if you can think of any more fun reasons the sides might go dark, leave them in the notes or send me an ask! For now, take it easy, fanders, see you next time! ^_^

#Sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders sides theory #sanders sides analysis #yellow post #indigo post #wHOO FIRST INDIGO POST IS UP HECK YEAH!!!

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hcpefulmarshmallow · 5 years

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I wanted to take some time out of our irregularly scheduled content to talk about something near and dear to my heart: Komaeda’s voice. Specifically, two of his character songs which I have been more eager to dissect than you know.

A couple of points before we begin:

These songs were not written by the same people who designed, scripted or even localised Komaeda, but rather his Japanese VA, Megumi Ogata. It has, however, been sanctioned as canon material, even released under the Danganronpa brand. Therefore, I will treat it with the same consideration that I do explicitly canon material.

The songs are, of course, in Japanese. I do not speak this language, so I’ll be going off the translations available on the DR wiki. If you do speak Japanese and you realise I’ve missed or misinterpreted something due to the language barrier, please let me know. Otherwise, as an English speaker, I’ll do my best with what I have.

My goal here is to reconcile his musical characterisation with his canon characterisation, as well as extrapolate whatever new things we can learn from these songs about our beloved boy. And if you’re reading this crazy long post and thinking, “wow, she’s reading way too into this,” ... yeah. That’s sort of the fun of it. My goal isn’t to challenge anybody, or shame anyone’s headcanons. This is just a weird niche hobby of mine.

Apologies for the lack of a cut. This much text, I felt, might be a little hard on some peoples’ eyes on my theme. It is tagged though.

Okay, onto the good stuff.

Zettai Kibou Birthday is, according to Megumi, a song about how Nagito feels on the “outside”. It contains a literal narrative and a metanarrative which is a word I like to use to sound smart, but in this case, just refers to an overarching interpretation that isn’t necessarily verbatim, but rather is represented, or is provided a structure, or is given meaning by the actual text.

In this case, the literal narrative is this: Nagito meets somebody on campus he was “born to meet”, and they have some sort of steamy rendezvous, and in amongst all the smooshing, there are several references to absolute hope. However, the song isn’t supposed to be a literal recount of events, but rather an expression of Nagito’s feelings; about hope, love, intimacy and connection. This is the metanarrative. The plot, if you will, is simply a presentation of that message.

While the song functions on a conceptual level and not a physical one, it interests me that sex is the medium through which he allegorises hope, intimacy and interpersonal connection. I think it’s also interesting that hope and intimacy are grouped together, as if to find one is to find the other. To quote Nagito himself, “Now that I’m on the verge of death, I’ve finally realised what I wanted all along: somebody’s love.”

Again, the song isn’t literal. It captures a feeling, likening that exhilaration and comfort of making a deep and impossible connection to the feeling of finding Ultimate Hope. And for someone who has been so lonely for so long, it makes sense he would find that hope in another person. Someone who isn’t afraid to be close to him in every possible sense of the word.

Now let me get it out there - I don’t expect a song like this to have explicit depictions of sex or anything. There is a fine line to walk when using the topic in media lest you be branded with a hard “lewd” rating, but there’s still no shortage of ways to use it without being explicit. Take, for instance, Carla Gugino & Oscar Isaac’s cover of Love Is The Drug. (Why the cover and not the original? Because I actually liked Sucker Punch, fight me.)

Late that night I park my car / Stake my place in the singles' bar / Face to face, toe to toe / Heart to heart as we hit the floor Lumber up, limbo down / The locked embrace, the stumble round / I say go, (and I say yes) / Dim the lights, you can guess the rest

The words describe literally what is going on, while still invoking the right mood and the emotions the characters in the song were feeling. It’s very well-balanced lyrically, especially with what Oscar and Carla’s performance brings to it. Contrast, if you will, with:

So lock up, mix up, cut up… key up, sex up, wrap up / I'll let you mess me up and indulge That's it, break up, use up, end up… hook up—because we're connected / The omen of hope after the worst disaster

If you look close, you can definitely see what’s happening in the actual narrative of the song. However, the details are more or less obfuscated under this layer of words that don’t really mean anything on their own. It’s more like a flurry of different sensations rather than one, tangible experience. These feelings he’s having during these experience are, in the next breath, directly correlated with connection, and then hope.

Nagito is a guy who works on the conceptual and the philosophical more than the literal. Even in canon, he’s heavily into symbolism. He likes to carry around Go stones because of what the colours represent to him. So this use of intimacy and word play to describe a significant bond between two people is remarkably fitting. What’s literally happening isn’t half as important as what is going on beneath the surface, and the way it makes him feel.

Like I said, it’s interesting that, of all the ways he could express hope and connection, this is the one he went with. I do believe that this also expresses an underlying attitude towards intimacy; that it’s something he only wishes to share with someone truly special. In many fan circles he is portrayed as a highly sexualised character, even though in the canon media, he is quite chaste, never taking any sexual interest in a situation that isn’t sexual; for instance, any of the many times Mikan falls over herself and winds up in a suggestive pose. (And nor should he, let me stress.)

And I can already foresee the counterargument that Nagito is gay, so of course he won’t enjoy seeing a girl’s underwear; and to that, I have two points. One is that, personally, I disagree. This doesn’t have to matter, but I headcanon him as bi or pan, possibly even demi. Either way, I don’t believe gender plays a major role in who he is attracted to. There’s no canon evidence to say who is “right” here (as right as anyone can be regarding fiction), but I don’t judge. If that’s your interpretation, you do you. The second is that, even towards the characters he is shown to be attracted to (namely, Hajime) his expressions of interest tend to be pure, for lack of a better word. Yes, there’s the joke about stripping naked on the beach, but I’m pretty sure that’s just a joke. He does tend to play a lot, after all.

And let me be clear -- there is nothing wrong with being a sexual person, or expressing one’s desire’s healthily. And certainly, Nagito has that side to him. He absolutely has sexual interest, urges and whatnot. It’s just not a highly key component to his characterisation. The point I want to make is: this song was a really good method to explore his feelings towards intimacy in a natural way, as well as provide more depth and context to attitudes he expressed in canon but couldn’t be explored to their fullest because, you know, it’s a story about murder, not Nagito’s feelings. The way he groups hope, love and sex as this euphoric thing, a singular whirlwind of emotions rather than separate happenings, is telling toward this desire he has for these things, the way he sees them as interconnected, and, with the way the song is so upbeat and uplifting, his hope that he can achieve it.

Nagito is someone who strongly believes in the idea that people are born a certain way, either hopeful or hopeless, talented or untalented. In short, destiny. And in this song, he speaks directly to the person he believes he’s destined for.

In the school campus at midnight, my heart throbs as I continue waiting "I was born for the sake of meeting you" I’II think at the moment

This song puts a tangible goal on this “Absolute Hope”, rather than the vague “overcoming Despair” thing he talks about all the time. Nagito really, truly wants to believe - and seems to believe - that his soulmate is out there, and it isn’t too late to make a deep and meaningful connection with somebody; someone who will be just as eager to reciprocate. Someone he can be unafraid with, captivated with, and with whom, he can experience that Ultimate Hope. It’s even in the title - the moment he meets such a person, is the moment true Hope itself is born. Something far stronger than what already exists in the world.

Zansakura, the companion piece to ZKB, is worlds apart in many ways.

It is, according to Megumi, how Nagito feels on the “inside”, the other side of the proverbial coin to ZKB being how he feels on the “outside”. Likely, this means that part deep within him he doesn’t let others see. This is present in the overall tone alone. While ZKB embodied in it that uplifting way which Nagito talks about Ultimate Hope, Zansakura is much more somber. ZKB echoes the Nagito we see through Hajime’s eyes; while Zansakura is more congruent with those fleeting moments we experience the game from his perspective, wherein he is even more down on himself. As we play through the Final Dead Room with him, we see that the excessive way which he berates himself out loud is nothing compared to the second-guessing and self-debasement that goes through his mind. It truly is a dark and melancholy place, which shows through in the slow, sad melody of Zansakura.

This one takes the imagery to a whole other level, relying primarily on the cultural and symbolic relevancy of cherry blossoms. I’ve written about all this before, so for the sake of those who have been around this blog a while, I’ll try to summarise as best as I can.

In Japan, Cherry Blossoms are symbolic of the ephemeral nature of life -- in other words, the fleetingness and impermanence of it all. In no small degree, the connection between the symbolism of Cherry Blossoms and life and death comes from the influence of Buddhist culture, and is embodied specifically in the concept of mono no aware. This can be translated a number of ways that all pretty much come back to the same idea of existing for only a short period of time. It’s used to describe the awareness of impermanence, the transience of things, and a sadness or wistfulness as their passing; and a deeper sadness about this being the reality of things. I know this seems boring and irrelevant, but please keep especially this last bit in mind, as it’s very important to the meaning behind this song.

The most popular variety of Cherry Blossom in Japan are the Somei Yoshino, which are almost pure white and tinged with pale pink near the stem. Although this song was written after the fact, I have to wonder if this was always intended to be part of the character’s aesthetic, because these colours are reflected in Nagito’s character design - specifically, his hair. Anyway, the Somei Yoshino typically bloom and fall within a week. Winter Sakura or Fuyuzakura begin blooming in autumn and continue sporadically throughout winter alone.

Though Cherry Blossoms are an important, and even iconic image for the country, most people are surprised to learn they don’t last for very long. For Nagito to compare himself to these flowers is to admit that he, too, is here to bloom for a short period of time. It’s also worth noting that Cherry Blossoms are considered their most beautiful, not as they bloom, but rather as they wither and fall. And all of a sudden, I’m reminded of all the times Nagito talks about attaining hope through despair, and how his life has only found meaning as he inches closer to death.

Yeah, I don’t like remembering this detail because it’s profoundly sad, but our marshmallow boy doesn’t exactly have long to live. He was given a year, at most, before starting at Hope’s Peak - and, at the end of the series, is presumably in his early-to-mid 20s. He’s beaten his own life expectancy, but not his illnesses.

The song starts in the most typical Nagito way I can think of:

“We can see again tomorrow", I laughed, short-lived cherry blossoms within my heart

As he always does, he laughs and is cheerful with others, even though deep down, he’s tremendously sad.

The song then takes us through this most beautiful and haunting imagery, of cherry blossoms in bloom after surviving a storm*, preparing to wither and fall; until at last they do, and as the flowers are carried away by the wind and water, a lonely, broken branch is left behind, wanting to bloom again.

(*The actual word used is ‘struggle’, however further down, the survival of a storm is mentioned, along with the flowers (aka hope) which will bloom after. The whole thing is a metaphor for his hope/luck cycle, is what I’m saying.)

He talks about this imagery as someone observing it (The storm of flowers, the sudden wind / I halt and open my eyes); again, with this idea of a metanarrative lurking beneath a literal one. He does, however, break the narrative to address (presumably) that same elusive “you” from Zettai Kibou Birthday:

To live an ordinary life, and die together with you / Oh, if that could come true

This seems so disconnected from the Nagito we know, who seems to have no interest in ‘ordinary’ things, and chases only hope. But as we’ve established, the place he most desires to seek hope is in another person. As he spends more time with Hajime during Island Mode, we know already that he admits to seeing hope in himself, and that he doesn’t necessarily take it as good news. But this line, right here, I feel embodies what this song is about, and what Nagito is all about.

Nagito is a very lonely person, desperate by his own admission for love and understanding. He knows he has little time left, and his prospects are...dim. Everyone he’s ever loved has either died or suffered at the hands of his luck, a force far beyond his control. And those who remain - namely, his classmates - either don’t like or don’t understand him. In ZKB - again, how Nagito feels on the “outside” - he expresses a hopefulness that there’s still someone he can love, who can love him, who he can experience that Absolute Hope with. But Zansakura has far more pessimistic expectations.

By breaking the metaphor to be straightforward and honest for a line, we get Nagito’s most core desire: to live a life with somebody; to love and be loved. Which, yeah, he’s already admitted to. For someone who’s been through so much, that probably seems like the most unattainable thing. Every time he gets comfortable, something invariably rips all that out from under him. And of that, he is painfully aware. Oh, if only that could come true - in other words, he knows it won’t.

Once again, do recall the concept of mono no aware. It’s not just an awareness of transience and impermanence, but also an intense, wistful sadness in the face of it. He knows he’s dying, and he knows he’s dying alone. But he’s not frustrated or angry, or even defiant. He’s not trying to fight it. As much as Nagito wants to hope for the best, deep down, he just can’t. He knows this is the reality, and he doesn’t have it in him to fight back. He’s just completely, deeply, helplessly sad.

In this song, Nagito’s life is represented as the petals that bloom for a short time, then fall; while he is the broken branch left behind; forgotten, wounded and unappealing; yearning for more time. Deep down, this is how he feels about himself. He is boring and unextraordinary, and yet (perhaps selfishly) he wishes that brief taste he has of being alive would last if only a little longer. He’s not quite ready to die yet, not until “the day this ordinary life is devoted”.

#meta;#( holy damn this went on #but i have been meaning to do this forever )#zansakura #zettai kibou birthday #long post/#( 2775 WORDS YO )

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dreamersscape · 5 years

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Note: This ask is from ages upon ages ago, and I’d like to offer my deepest apologies to whoever requested this. It was very important to me that I answer thoroughly and in as articulate a manner as possible, and I’m embarrassed how slow accomplishing that took me. I hope that somehow you’re able to see this post, and you’re able to get something out of my rambling.

Thank you again for your patience in awaiting my answer, nonnie! I’m excited to put this headcanon of mine into words. It’s not often I have really specific and/or detailed HCs, I’ll admit; usually I stick to extrapolating off of canon. And while that’s sort of what I’ve done here, it seems to have happened mostly on a subconscious level, stewing until I realized a pattern forming within nearly all my fic plot bunnies.

It’s also possibly a key to how I understand Allan as a character, so… that’s kinda cool.

Okay, so Allan doesn’t really present as an overly anxious person, does he? At least, not in comparison to some of the other characters, like Much, who is utterly incapable of suppressing his anxiety. If Much is feeling apprehensive about something, you’re going to know it. So why then did I begin to notice my habit of, once he’s been stressed past a certain point, characterizing Allan’s emotional breaking points almost always as him tailspinning into a state of profound anxiety/panic? Well, partly because Allan just really REALLY sucks at dealing with negative experiences/emotions. His preferred method of coping with anything is to internalize the heck out of it, stuff it deep down inside, and then hope he never has to think about it ever again i.e. avoidance at all costs. And that appears to work… for awhile. He’s good at living in the present, ignoring past events and future repercussions. (Side note: a big reason why I also think substance abuse or other similar escapes could be quite alluring to him.) Eventually though, because it’s never been dealt with or even confronted, something triggers the release of all that pent up stress and negativity. He basically builds this towering pile of Bad Things, and so when it gets knocked over, it manages to completely overwhelm him. But until he’s thrown off-kilter and the pile loses balance and tips over, he’s mostly able to coast along, maintaining a relatively calm exterior while mired in turbulent inner seas.

Now, I realize I haven’t given much in the way of evidence for this yet, or explained why I think this all happens within the framework of a very anxious mindset. Hopefully I’m getting there. But that preceding paragraph is there to show how I find I characterize Allan as a result. (I probably wouldn’t have figured out this pattern of sorts if I could ever resist making things the Absolute Worst Imaginable Confluence of Events for Allan in my fic ideas, but that’s a “problem” for another day.)

What I’ve found is the key for me to get in Allan’s head and see things from his perspective is this: fear is his #1 motivator and it constantly feeds into his #1 priority, which is self-preservation. That goal of personal safety develops and eventually changes over the course of the show, but certainly for the greater part of the first two seasons, that is what primarily drives him. (For what I believe drives him from the end of 2x12 onwards, see here.)

For the most part, I’d say it’s pretty safe to say self-preservation-as-priority-number-one in regards to Allan’s character is generally widely accepted by the fans of the show. But opinions on why and how that came to be might vary more. I don’t know, maybe proposing that fear is the major driving force behind Allan’s decisions and behavior is not very revolutionary, but that is what I’d like to posit and explore in this post.

So, why do I think Allan is constantly consumed by his own personal well being above all else, to the point where its essentially become an automatic filter overlaying the way he interacts with the world? (I’m not intending to dramatically overstate things here, BTW; this is just how deeply ingrained I believe it is.) To me, this indicates at some point early on in his life something or a series of events convinced Allan that the world was an inherently dangerous place and you needed to always be on your guard for the next threat around any corner. This trauma could have taken a variety of forms depending on your headcanon, but IMO it’s clear from Allan’s canonical behavior that it happened. Things that could point to this include, but are not limited to, the sparse background information we do learn about (Tom abandoning him and simultaneously stealing all his belongings, his apparent total lack of vocation despite his father being a blacksmith) as well as how he interacts with his brother (his over-identification with Tom–”I was like him once”–mixed in with the understandable trust issues, Tom’s borderline antisocial behavior in general, and I also wrote here about how their dynamic possibly alludes to a dysfunctional home life). With that as a fundamental part of your worldview, it’s easy to understand why you and your anxiety might have become good friends. He has no base level understanding or measure of being/feeling safe. Or maybe he once did, but there isn’t a way to go back or recapture that.

Another component of Allan’s anxiety I’d like to highlight is his personal locus of control. Locus of control is a psychology term that evaluates ‘the degree to which people believe that they have control over the outcome of events in their lives, as opposed to external forces beyond their control.’ It’s usually described in terms of being internal (belief that one can control one’s own life) or external (belief that life is controlled by outside factors which the person cannot influence, or that chance or fate controls their lives). ‘Individuals with a strong internal locus of control believe events in their life derive primarily from their own actions: for example, when receiving exam results, people with an internal locus of control tend to praise or blame themselves and their abilities. People with a strong external locus of control tend to praise or blame external factors such as the teacher or the exam.’ I definitely believe Allan has an external-based locus of control, and I think we see this in how reactive and defensive he is to his environment and in his tendency to shift the blame or not take personal responsibility for his actions. As opposed to Marian’s and Robin’s “everything is a choice” mantra, Allan often feels he has/had “no choice”, or feels “stuck”. Consequently, this lack of perceived ability to dictate and be accountable for one’s actions can make you feel very powerless. And if you believe the world is a unpredictable, dangerous place and there’s little you can do to affect or change that, you’d likely feel pretty fearful and anxious. Indeed, there has been research that concludes that people with an external locus of control tend to be more stressed and are more prone to clinical depression.

Now, I realize the preceding two paragraphs are either relying heavily on speculation or pretty technical terminology, so I’d like to conclude by referring directly to Allan’s behavior as evidence of his frequent anxiety. It is still in production, but I am working on a comprehensive gifset of every time Allan outwardly demonstrates anxiety. I’ll link it here once it’s finished. (Spoiler warning: it’s going to be a whopper of a gifset.) But until then, I think it’s notable that Allan exhibits a wide range of behaviors that typically denote anxiety. Licking his lips, swallowing/gulping, sweaty palms, fidgeting with something in his hands (could also be a sign of excess energy, but there are three instances of this in the first two episodes of the show alone, and this often seems to happen when it’s implied Allan has excess nervous energy), shifty eyes or a gaze that is unable to meet anyone else’s, hands on head in dismay, etc. It’s subtle because Allan’s doing his best to suppress it–he doesn’t want it to show because that would mean looking vulnerable/weak, which is not safe and a terrifying prospect when you live in a unpredictable, dangerous world–but if you’re looking for it, it’s there.

In summary, on the outside Allan projects a calm, self-assured, doesn’t-take-anything-too-seriously, cheerful, amiable image. And that is a legitimate part of who he is. He’s cultivated that facade for so long that it has taken on a life of its own. However, on the inside, he is ALSO a lot of the time an unsure, self-doubting, self-destructive, fearful, angst-ridden bundle of nerves. So that’s why when I read a story where Allan is ONLY portrayed as the former with none of the latter, it just doesn’t feel like Allan to me. In those cases, it’s as though I’m reading about a vaguely Allan-shaped empty shell. And I get it–it’s hard to always show all those sides of Allan when he’s not one of the main characters or he’s not the primary focus of the fic. Or the author might not be at all inclined to have Allan’s role be more than a surface level portrayal, and that’s okay. Not everything should be about Allan! But I also think there is often room for hints; Allan’s facade does have cracks. All this to say, Allan’s layers and contradictions are an intrinsic part of his character’s essence for me, including his anxieties/insecurities/fears, and his life has largely been built on that apprehensive foundation.

TL;DR Allan’s anxiety not only exists, it dictates much of what he thinks, says, and does, and the poor guy needs a ton of therapy.

sources for the locus of control info:

Rotter, Julian B (1966). “Generalized expectancies for internal versus external control of reinforcement”. Psychological Monographs: General and Applied. 80: 1–28. Carlson, N.R., et al. (2007). Psychology: The Science of Behaviour - 4th Canadian ed.. Toronto, ON: Pearson Education Canada. Benassi, Victor A; Sweeney, Paul D; Dufour, Charles L (1988). “Is there a relation between locus of control orientation and depression?”. Journal of Abnormal Psychology. 97 (3): 357–367.

#ask dreamersscape a question #anonymous #answered ask #allan a dale #robin hood bbc #bbc robin hood #robin hood meta #my stuff #as happy as i am that this is finally finished #i'm also high-key terrified about posting it #this is absolutely how i see allan but i like group consensus so much and it makes me super uncomfortable to stick out like a sore thumb #and i don't want it to sound like my seeing allan as deeply traumatized and #having such a messed up mindset excuses his poor/harmful/dunderheaded decisions #my intention is not to woobify him #(although i must admit i'm not sure if i fully understand the term?)#but i am /deeply/ curious about everyone's thoughts on what i've postulated here #does this all make sense?#because it's so integral to how i view allan...#please come talk to me about allan it's been so looonnnggg #oh also #*dons cap*#this is my amateur psychologist's hat #my mom was a school psychologist though #so i come by my fascination with the subject naturally :)#my gang to me day will never be over in our hearts queue

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aftgonice · 7 years

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Writing Tips - General - Pt.1

Disclaimer: I’m just a fandom writer and I write for fun and I realized that whenever I sit down and write I seem to learn something. That’s why I’m doing this series: I just want to collect what I learned so far so that it might help others. I never took writing courses so these tips won’t be very technical at all but just the result of my own experience so far.

Some (most) of these tips will only apply to fandom writers.

My biggest tip is:

Read

Read r

READ e

read a READ d

r e a d

READ

Obviously read books and read fics, because fics are a very specific kind of subgenre of literature that has its own rules. True, some fics could be read as novels or as short stories, but most of them rely on very specific tropes that are much easier (generally speaking) to explore if you’re just starting out.

For example, I was always an avid reader, but before I started being active in the world of fandom and actually started reading fanfiction, I had no idea about the different kinds of AUs and tropes.

Knowing and reading what’s already out there can be scary at first. You’ll read a perfect coffee shop AU that you wished you’d written yourself and you’ll wonder, “But why should I put myself out there? Why should I write something when other people are already doing it and doing it better than me?”

The thing to remember is that readers will always want to read something, no matter how many times they’ve read the same trope applied to the same fictional couple, so one coffee shop AU isn’t enough. Good thing you’re just now planning to write one, right?

And the thing is, you won’t actually know if your writing is good or not unless you try. Even if your first fic isn’t that good, writing is something that you get better at with time and with practice, so there really isn’t any reason not to write (unless you have no interest in trying it).

Let’s say you’re now convinced that you want to try writing something: you might still be wondering how you’re going to get ideas for a fic or a story.

I think we’ve all been there. So...

HOW DO I GET IDEAS?

If you’re someone who doesn’t have a lot of imagination (like me), the thought of writing something is really scary. Of course, you can’t write a story without ideas, so I want to go over a few ways to actually start getting them.

Interact with the fandom

You don’t have to participate actively and you can just reblog stuff, but in my experience, the more you interact (even just by commenting on someone else’s post or tweet), the more your brain starts working on ideas that are yours.

I basically see it as an exercise or workout: the more you do squats the more your muscles build themselves, right? The same way, the more you get your brain to think of even just small headcanons (like, what does a character like to eat? Are they a morning person or a night owl?), the more you’ll get used to thinking up new ideas that could potentially become a full story.

Oh, and when I say interact, I really do mean interact. I was really surprised when I first came to tumblr and found out that it’s perfectly normal for people to randomly start talking to you in your DMs, and the conversation usually starts with some headcanon or just general screaming about your favorite characters or something that just happened recently in the fandom. Sometimes that wraps up in a couple of lines, but others it can lead to wonderful virtual friendships. While that’s amazing on its own, it’s actually also a great support system for any content creators (especially writers), because so many ideas are born out of simple conversations.

Know your sources

The better you know your fandom, the more ideas you’ll get. You’ll start seeing details of a character’s personality that you didn’t see or read the first time, you’ll re-analyze a certain interaction, etc. It’s very difficult to write fanfiction if you’ve only watched/read canon once.

Sometimes canon is not enough: find metas about characters and scenes and interactions. Metas aren’t canon, but they help a lot and you’ll not only understand things better, you’ll also get new ideas for content you want to write.

Know other sources

You and your ideas don’t and shouldn’t exist in a vacuum. A lot of great ideas come from knowing other works so you can make AUs and retellings.

Also try to remember the difference between the two and ask yourself which one fits better:

[fictional source] AU: the story should be more or less the same as your source and set in the same world, but the characters will be the ones from the fandom you’re writing for.

[fictional source] retelling: your plot is heavily inspired by [fictional source] but you add elements or take away what you don’t need if something from the original source doesn’t fit your characters. It can also be set somewhere different (for example modern retellings of fairy tales).

Know your tropes

Knowing popular (and less popular) tropes helps you think about what kind of story you want to write. It also helps you categorize the different stories you read and start thinking about them in a more analytical way.

You need to see the mechanisms (enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, etc) behind a story to be able to analyze it and relate it to other stories, and understand which rules you want to follow once you understand what trope you’re using for your story.

Notice that I said which rules you want to follow, because I think it’s perfectly fine (and even admirable) to be more daring and break trope rules or mix them up. No matter what you want to do, you definitely need to know them first, and then you can start writing them and/or changing them and making them your own.

BEFORE WRITING

Okay, you have a few ideas now (you don’t need to have the full plot before you start writing, but at least an outline would be nice - I have another post planned about plot so look out for that).

There are a few extra steps you might want to take. Most of these you will kind of just feel in your gut without really having to think about it, but in case that doesn’t happen, here’s a noncomprehensive list of a few of them.

Understand what your story needs in terms of POV:

A POV can make or break a story. There are some things that just don’t work well in a certain person, or they’re extremely difficult to pull off.

Learn what your favorite POV is when you read, and that will probably be the POV you’ll write best.

Regardless of the type of POV, your story might need more than one (if it’s third person limited or first person). It’s difficult to describe how you can understand it, and I think it has a lot to do with plotting and characterization:

Do you want to keep a character’s motives mysterious until the Big Reveal of chapter 16? Then you should stick to only one character POV. Does your fic follow more than one storyline? Then you will almost definitely need more than one POV.

In case it needs more than one POV:

First of all, I can’t stress this enough: make it understandable when the POV switches. Be it with a completely different chapter or a visual separation, make sure your reader understands it.

With that said, you need to know your story and ask yourself, What POV works best for this scene?

A scene can be extremely powerful and memorable from one POV but completely dull and boring from another. It all comes down to the different characters’ personalities and I can’t possibly cover all the different examples and scenarios in this post, but if you’re familiar with your fictional world enough then you should be able to understand it yourself.

Understand what the best tense for your story is:

This is something that for me usually just happens by itself when I start writing the first few paragraphs. I’ve started fics deciding that they needed to be in a past tense, and then no matter how many verbs I wrote down, my mind would always make me write them in present tense unless I forced a past tense in there. But that’s the thing, whatever you write, it should never feel forced. That’s when I realized that present tense was what felt more natural to the story, and it didn’t matter that I don’t even like present tense. The story didn’t want to be written any other way.

Follow your instinct on this.

Understand what the best format is:

Ask yourself: Is it going to be a long fic with 20 chapters or a one shot? Do you only have enough material for a drabble?

Every fic length is valid in my opinion, but you need to be clear about what you want.

If you do decide to make your fic chaptered, try to make each chapter its own little story, with a beginning, a plot/character arc and an end (which can absolutely be a small cliffhanger, but try to not abuse it).

SHOULD I TELL SOMEONE?

So this is a point I wanted to include even though it’s not exactly about writing itself, BUT I think it’s important to talk about.

Should you tell someone, “Hey, I have this awesome fic in mind that I really want to write!”?

I don’t think the answer to this is universal. I think generally speaking telling someone definitely helps you stick to your goal, especially if people get excited about your WIP.

It can also backfire though, you can get anxious about other people expecting something from you when you’re at a point where you don’t even know whether you’ll actually write/finish your story or not.

(A small addition on this: if you’re like me, you’ll never know whether you’re actually going to publish something until you’ve written all of it. You might have written more than half of your fic and then decide that you don’t want to continue it, for whatever reason. If nobody is expecting it anyway, you’ll feel less bad about abandoning your work because you won’t feel like you’re disappointing anyone.)

This is one of those things that require for you to know yourself because only you will know whether people’s expectations can be a motivation or a hindrance for you.

My suggestion is not to tell anyone right away if you’ve never written anything in your entire life. Posting without anyone (not even my virtual friendships) knowing about it was what made it possible for me to actually write. I only began sharing and interacting with people as a writer here on tumblr after about three fics (two of which were chaptered ones) and getting enough positive feedback, but I still keep my real identity hidden because I don’t want anyone IRL to be able to find my stuff.

If you know you’re going to be very self conscious about your work, I encourage you to start a tumblr alias like I did, because it can be liberating to write what you want to write without being afraid of what people will think of you if they actually find your fics.

Of course, this is what worked for me and it might not work for everybody, but try to take measures to protect yourself if that’s the only way you you think you can publish your writing without feeling scared.

This post is already too long so Pt.2 is coming soon!

Other writing tips: (coming soon!)

yuri on ice edition | general pt.2 | plot | dialogues | characterization

#writing tips with renee #writing #fanfiction writing #nobody hate on me pls i'm only doing this bc i think it might help someone #i don't know shit #i just thought even if there are like ten million posts about writing out there #one more won't hurt??#reblogs appreciated

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annieoftheshitposts · 7 years

Text

this post used to be a link to the old canons page but i’m turning it into a text dump of the revised one for people on mobile [or who have bad wifi/computers that the fancy schmancy script on the canons page wouldn’t play well with.] theres a lot sorry not sorry. here we go.

Canon Info

Much more is said about Annie in external sources than the game itself, here's copypastes of all I know of and go by.

From the 3rd DLC Character Voting page:

As popular figures in nationwide folktales, a children’s television adaptation of Annie and Sagan’s adventures was inevitable. The show’s success lies in its pair of live action hosts, who are as convincing as their cartoon counterparts. Though what the public learns about the real Annie might surprise them. Annie is a seasoned fighter who has been around for a long time, acquiring many skills and powers along the way. Her sword is forged from a meteorite and can channel the power of the stars in its sweeping cleaves. Her right eye bonds her to her Remote Parasite and partner, Sagan, who grants her powers of a galactic motif. While some of her abilities carry more of a sparkly magical girl motif, Annie tries to execute them with the same sternness.

From "The canon info thread" on Skullheart Encore forums:

-Annie is several-century-old. Her immortality was gained when her parents wished on the Skull Heart so that Annie would never have to experience the hardship of adulthood, thereby making her forever a child. -She has had many different weapons and abilities throughout her life. - Sagan, her remote parasite. keeps her right eye in his mouth. - She’s physically not able to swear due to her condition - She is familiar with Double due to her experience fighting Skullgirls - Annie has encountered a lot of Skullgirls and has killed a lot, but not the same a lot. She’s seen the cycle multiple times and seen how they become stronger each time and is looking for the underlying source now. - The Annie of the Stars show is very similar to the Super Mario Bros. Super Show with live action segments with cartoons and PSAs and commercials in between. - Sagan can talk. Somehow. - Annie hides her immortality by getting a new hairstyle every few years. The show tells the audience that they have simply changed the actress. Eliza also pulls a similar trick

and finally some other misc. scraps that weren't covered above:

-annie has some kind of "super" or "powered up" form, in which she seems to fuse with sagan. it can be seen on her

move concept sheet, in the end of robo-fortune's story mode, and as a very tiny feature on one of robo-fortune's merch posters, but to my knowlege it's never really been talked about.

-she's been depicted with an "incognito outfit", presumably for going out in public and not being recognized by fans.

-sagan is named after renowned astrophysicist carl sagan. this isnt really relevant to anything but it's not on the wiki so i figured i'd share :b

-and this random pic of annie in the past with a different look, plus gun and minus eyepatch, apparently official art from the "digital art compendium". i haven't seen the source for this one myself though, and count this one more as speculative canon since that ingame image up there with her eye uncovered doesn't show a scar or any kind of damage from this.

-another canon fact about annie is she is strong and brave and i love her.

Headcanon (Annie)

this is pretty disorganized bc i come up with and revise random shit on a fairly regular basis, but the very least it should be all here and up-to-date. [though on this text post version i may forget to keep it updated oops.

she can still only normally see from the one eye in her head [and likewise probably has terrible depth perception lmao], but she can “project” her vision into the one sagan has if need be, during which time both he and her main eye are blind.

even though sagan’s vision is his own and she doesn’t actively “see” through that eye most of the time, the stuff he sees still becomes part of her memory and she can recall it if need be, though it’s far less tangible and kind of a surreal experience trying to do so.

the space where her other eye was is now just...space. like empty starry void stuff. yes, TECHNICALLY, you could put stuff in it but why would you. sagan can feel when something interacts with it and it’s really just weird and uncomfortable for both of them.as sagan is the source of their powers, the strength of her abilities is slightly dependent on her distance from him. something like long sustained flight is really only capable if they’re touching, but she still has ample firepower and ability to zip around for a pretty good range otherwise.

Not interested in anime

absolutely hates being called her full name; hasn't gone by anything other than "Annie" for longer than anyone that should be alive today should know.

part of her curse of eternal youth is remembering everything up until the point it kicked in and she stopped aging [i.e. when she was Actually a kid] exactly as well as if she hadn’t aged.

from that point however, a lot of it is hazy as shit aside from more recent times [as you’d expect from someone who’s been around hundreds of years]. this one's gonna be angsty as shit when i address it and you can thank @sandstriker for that. fucker.

also hates being restrained. by the concept sheet and beo's story, her fighting style is very kinetic and relies heavily on mobility; take that away and you get one very uncomfortable and very angry starchild. [this one's 'cause of y'all with the handcuffs asks. this is part of why she's so agitated rn.]

what's in the pouch? whatever is alternatively convenient. is it snacks? is it a quick incognito disguise? is it her whole entire sword? who knows. i think it might be infinite hammerspace in there.

i haven't put much though into this side of her story yet, but i've decided part of the mythos of the "annie of the stars" character as a figure of legend is that she literally lives, among the stars.

if there's enough folktales about her to base an entire show off of, i'm willing to bet she used to be less elusive when she was just about fighting skullgirls before dedicating herself to the whole "looking for the underlying source" thing.

Headcanon (Sagan)

tl;dr: as far as things go here, he's essentially a cat and/or younger sibling.

Sagan's canon information and characterization is basically nonexistant, so i got to do pretty much whatever i wanted with him lmao.

simply put, he's a little gremlin of a partner, but he is genuinely good-natured and a happy-go-luckly little dude. mischevious, loves to get up to Shenanigans, go off and hide/disappear to fuck knows where for several hours, climb and sit on tall things[or failing that, annie's head], etc. @sawkinator has described him, regrettably accurately, as "the Token Disney Animal Sidekick". he has a lot of mannerisms like an animal, but is still very much a being of at least average human intelligence. he's also surprisingly indestructible. far from invincible of course, but in canon he's been shown to be quite stretchy and...possibly have minor shapeshifting capabilities?? he's pretty much immune to being squashed and feels very little [if any] pain from most things. really, as far as i can tell he's pretty much a weird sentient plushie. like, if it's not going to damage a plushie, it's not going to hurt him; examples being: getting knocked back really hard or falling a long way? not a problem. fire? problem.

Sagan tends to be somewhat nonverbal and generally only uses a few words or short phrase at a time when he does speak, which sounds something like the voice clip below. that being how it is, he can be kind of inscrutable and more than a bit jarring to most people--though at this point annie's been with him more than long enough to be completely desensitized to it and doesnt quite get why anyone would be perturbed. fortunately, with that familiarity also comes understanding, and she can easily "translate" and articulate more from his expressions. this understanding is a two-way street, and on its other side is sagan's sensitivity to her moods. annie's not particularly...communicative of her emotions, but sagan can always tell when she's having an off day or something's bothering her, and is far better than anyone at helping her feel better. all things said and quirky antics aside, he and annie are exceptionally close and fiercely protective of eachother the moment it comes to it. they don't make a big deal of showing it outwardly, but they know they've always got eachother's backs.

he's taken quite a liking to beowulf as well, and beo defintiely shamelessly enables sagan's shenanigans.

as i see it, annie may be the passion and power of their operation, but sagan is the heart and soul. beowulf is like....comic releif and emotional support. not entirely necessary, but certainly welcomed to have around. yeah. listen im a big sap i just want them all to be good friends ok. i love them.

also sagan does like and watch a lot of anime.

Blog Canon

miscellaneous happenings that either have continued relevance/significance, or y'all just won't let die. there's not a overarching plot to this thing at all, but geez we’ve kinda gathered some history here huh?

taught sagan to say fuck [and other swears, in her stead]. he used to have to do it on command but he's gotten really good at filling in for her.has a

stoat fursona that beo helped her make. she thinks it's neat/cute but has no real attachment to it.

attempted to sue the crystal gems for ripping off her entire shtick [it didn't go well]

beowulf also taught her how to dab.

@sparkeletran is a nuisance and must be stopped

the 70$ pile of high school musical merch. sagan and beo both wear the t-shirts sometimes. she hates it. don't let her attitude fool you though this is actually the best and most important ongoing joke in this whole damn thing.

the first handcuffs stint. they’re gone now but they had a good ~30-post run, and she did take to learning lockpicking because of it.

this.

hey. guess fucking what lads. handcuffs ROUND TWO 'cause y'all just don't fuckin' quit. the first mini story arc sorta thing, in which she visits the cirque des cartes and has an aggravting encounter with taliesin. [currently ongoing][hopefully soon ending]

[[redacted for ""spoilers""]] due to said encounter with taliesin

sparkeletran is a nuisance,

"the official annie of the stars instagram is just cat memes but with sagan" it's canon but i haven't decided whether it's something she would have had already or a recent thing. [either way, hasn't been touched on yet due to the arc taking so long]

badart annie is sorta like her own thing at this point but nothing that happens with her is canon; she p much just shows up for exceptionally dumb posts. we did give her noclip though which is terrifying. on that note i may as well include the things that are Not canon but y'all won't let me forget

beo's animated belt thing. look. it doesnt talk.

spray-on boots.

the lawnmower weapon

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh homestuck

#not annieposting

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him-e · 7 years

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What do you think it was that made Jaime confide his secret to Brienne? Was it just a breaking point for him and he would have spilled had it been someone else in Brienne's place

Someone else? No.

(just… imagine Jaime confessing to a naked-as-his-nameday Qyburn, I’m howling)

Like, of course he could have, because Jaime is a fictional character and he does what GRRM wants him to do. Which is precisely why his confiding in Brienne is such a BIG authorial decision, even if, in-narrative, it were completely random. But it’s not. Brienne is a huge part of what leads Jaime to that breaking point. The fact that Jaime makes this confession to her (and nobody else) is essential in understanding why he does it, why he kept that secret for so long, his troubled relationship with knighthood, and many other things about his arc.

1. a breaking point. the jaime we meet in ASOS is a man at the end of his rope (re: carrying the burden of the secret about Aerys all alone / not sharing with anyone the reason why he killed him). He’s spent an entire book in captivity, surrounded by people who despise him, and this probably had the effect of forcing him to think about Aerys harder than he usually did (more on that later). Since early in ASOS, we see that Jaime thinks of Aerys often, reluctantly but often, and as his chapters progress he becomes increasingly and visibly exhausted at being addressed as “kingslayer”. His memories of Aerys are easily triggered and surface in scattered, angst-ridden flashbacks, each revealing a specific piece of the puzzle, but not the main course. His mind wants to go there, but at the same time retreats from it. Aside from doylist reasons (to create suspense and curiosity in the reader) I think this proves how killing the king represents a highly traumatic event for him—or better, the culmination of a traumatic series of circumstances he was subjected to when he was barely an adult (let’s not forget that Jaime’s first 2 years of service in the kingsguard coincided with the nadir of Aerys’ paranoia and madness. He witnessed unspeakable horrors, was told to shut up, had to learn how to “go away inside” while Aerys raped and barbecued people, all of this when he was 15-16 and knew exactly that the king considered him his tool to humiliate Tywin. Remember, Aerys’ last order was for Jaime to bring him Tywin’s head, or “burn with all the rest”.)

(the reason why Jaime kept his mouth sealed on the wildfire plot for 15+ years is an interesting question. It can’t be only misplaced commitment to the oath of keeping the king’s secrets, can it? This fandom seems to have settled on the idea that Jaime is a narcissist with a victim complex who just loves playing the unsung hero, and apparently this one note can be retroactively used to explain all his actions. Ahem, in this circumstance, who would he be playing the unsung hero to? Himself? lol, that’s not fucking worth it if you don’t have an audience, not even an imaginary one. But it IS about pride. He knew it since his father’s bannermen laid their eyes on him with silent judgment—there’s no workable extenuating circumstance for a knight of the kingsguard committing regicide, simple as that, and coming up with some ~averted wildfire apocalypse~ nonsense without any pyromancers or other witnesses left to back his claim would sound like begging for forgiveness. Jaime is a Lannister, he doesn’t beg. He doesn’t justify himself, that’s for scoundrels and small time crooks. No, he lifts his chin and owns it. Oh, and it’s also possible that he genuinely thought it was safer for the entire citizenship to ignore the existence of the wildfire caches altogether, as there’s absolutely no evidence of Jaime knowing that the hidden wildfire can be accidentally ignited, but I digress.)

Since we don’t have access to his pov before ASOS, we don’t know if this constant back and forth between present and past is something that Jaime has always done, or a more recent thing. I headcanon that the long captivity Jaime suffered in Riverrun is a key factor. That’s where I think he started to seriously weigh up “his life, his choices” (he’s still halfway through that process). Imprisoned for months, surrounded by enemies all the time, removed from the things that made him a proud Lannister, that gave him joy and relief and a solid sense of self (Cersei), his coping mechanisms began to fall apart. Jaime has always relied on his sense of superiority, on his “I am a Lannister, and you can all kiss my arse” mentality to cope with his broken reputation. Hiding behind sarcasm, reveling in the addictive thrill of his forbidden relationship with Cersei, sneering at his fellow kingsguards / the hypocrisy of the court / Ned’s honor, all of this helped him to keep functioning without falling apart, because kingslayer or not he was the lion of Lannister, better than the rest, stronger than the rest, he and Cersei living a life closer to the gods than to ordinary mortal people. Jaime has learned how to dgaf about those who whisper “kingslayer” behind his back, but that’s different now. The captivity in Riverrun is probably the longest time he’s had to deal with people’s open, unmitigated contempt with no shields or barriers, no safety nets aside from his own mind, which is an increasingly unpleasant place to be in. (jaime is both insecure and prideful, a terrible, terrible combo when you receive criticism)

so when Catelyn comes to visit (actually to force an oath on him), he’s exhausted. He still relies heavily on sarcasm, but his walls are low enough to start blathering about “too many vows” (also because, well, he’s drunk) which sounds like the beginning of… an explanation, perhaps. But it’s too early for that, Catelyn is not the kind of audience who has any patience for his shit, and he will have to lose much more than his dignity to finally spill the beans.

2. it’s particularly Brienne’s accusations that sting. It becomes personal. He always reacts when she addresses his oathbreaking and kingslaying with contempt. Sometimes jokingly:

“I’ve had a bellyful of silence, woman.”“Talk with Ser Cleos then. I have no words for monsters.”Jaime hooted. “Are there monsters hereabouts? Hiding beneath the water, perhaps? In that thick of willows? And me without my sword!”

sometimes deflecting:

“Do you deny that you slew a king?”“No. Do you deny your sex? If so, unlace those breeches and show me.” He gave her an innocent smile. “I’d ask you to open your bodice, but from the look of you that wouldn’t prove much.”

“A man who would violate his own sister, murder his king, and fling an innocent child to his death deserves no other name.”Innocent? The wretched boy was spying on us. […] “You will be courteous as concerns Cersei, wench”.

sometimes (kind of) apologetically:

“Your crimes are past forgiving, Kingslayer.”“That name again.” Jaime twisted idly at his chains. “Why do I enrage you so? I’ve never done you harm that I know of.”

sometimes aggressively:

“It was that white cloak that soiled me, not the other way around. So spare me your envy. It was the gods who neglected to give you a cock, not me.” The look Brienne gave him then was full of loathing.

sometimes attempting to corner her into the logical fallacy of “your reputation isn’t that different from mine, so we’re practically the same!”:

“I know what I swore.”“And what you did.” She loomed above him, six feet of freckled, frowning, horse-toothed disapproval.“Yes, and what you did as well. We’re both kingslayers here, if what I’ve heard is true.”

“Your wits are quicker than mine, I confess it. When they found me standing over my dead king, I never thought to say, ‘No, no, it wasn’t me, it was a shadow, a terrible cold shadow.’“ He laughed again. ”Tell me true, one kingslayer to another—did the Starks pay you to slit his throat, or was it Stannis? Had Renly spurned you, was that the way of it? Or perhaps your moon’s blood was on you. Never give a wench a sword when she’s bleeding.“ For a moment Jaime thought Brienne might strike him.

Brienne is an endless challenge. He can see the disapproval in her eyes even when she says nothing, and it drives him insane. It’s not just physical and mental exhaustion and frustration at his own powerlessness—Brienne is his captor, so naturally he’s going to lash out at her, try to goad her into lashing out herself, or just be annoyed at her in general—it’s also that he sees in Brienne a genuine judgment, free of the hypocrisy of those who were well content with serving Aerys and watch him roast people alive, until Aerys was no more the king and Robert was. Or those who have their hands covered in blood and have slit countless throats with their sword, throats that belonged to better people than Aerys.

Brienne isn’t like that. Her hands are clean (book!Brienne has yet to kill her first man at this point), her eyes are truly guileless, and her only fault is a lack of experience. An infuriating one, sure—it angers Jaime to hear her describe the kingsguard as “a rare and precious gift […] that you scorned and soiled”, because what does this child know of the kingsguard. but that’s the point. She doesn’t belong to the world that soiled his dreams. She wasn’t much older than the two children who were brutally murdered under his watch at the time of the sack of King’s Landing. Indeed, Jaime sometimes calls her a child in his internal monologue. It’s innocence, not hypocrisy, that is judging him. It’s something his usual performative cynicism doesn’t really have a grip on.

So basically he finds trapped in endless discourse with this young woman who just won’t leave him alone and always finds a way to throw his broken vows and monstrosity in his face, and it becomes harder and harder to dismiss her accusations. Because deep down Jaime is impressed and moved by her unflinching faith in knightly values. He thinks she’s stupid for doing so, sure, but it hits a nerve.

3. truces are built on trust. After Cleos dies and they are captured by the Bloody Mummers, Jaime and Brienne’s mutual relationship drastically changes. They stop being a prisoner and his captor, and become both prisoners of a bunch of brutal outlaws. Jaime is maimed, Brienne is repeatedly threatened with rape. I believe this is called traumatic bonding? But anyway, the point is that, willing or not, Jaime starts relying on Brienne. Heavily. Literally:

After the second time he fell from the saddle, they bound him tight to Brienne of Tarth and made them share a horse again. One day, instead of back to front, they bound them face-to-face. “The lovers,” Shagwell sighed loudly, “and what a lovely sight they are. ‘Twould be cruel to separate the good knight and his lady.” Then he laughed that high shrill laugh of his, and said, “Ah, but which one is the knight and which one is the lady?”If I had my hand, you’d learn that soon enough, Jaime thought. His arms ached and his legs were numb from the ropes, but after a while none of that mattered. His world shrunk to the throb of agony that was his phantom hand, and Brienne pressed against him. She’s warm, at least, he consoled himself, though the wench’s breath was as foul as his own.

She becomes a sort of anchor for him, someone whose physical proximity is comforting and reassuring and sometimes a literal crutch, and don’t forget that she’s also tasked with cleaning and nursing him while he’s feverish and gave him a pep talk when he was feeling suicidal, so he gets to experience her nurturing side, too. He knows her mission is to take him alive and unharmed to King’s Landing and that—unlike Vargo Hoat & co.—she takes it very, very seriously. At this point, in this situation, Brienne is the closest thing to a friend he has. Now fast forward to the bathtub scene:

“That was unworthy,” he mumbled. “I’m a maimed man, and bitter. Forgive me, wench. You protected me as well as any man could have, and better than most.” She wrapped her nakedness in a towel. “Do you mock me?” That pricked him back to anger. “Are you as thick as a castle wall? That was an apology. I am tired of fighting with you. What say we make a truce?” “Truces are built on trust. Would you have me trust - ” “The Kingslayer, yes. The oathbreaker who murdered poor sad Aerys Targaryen.“

the scene begins as your typical Jaime VS Brienne banter, with Jaime being a complete asshole, teasing and taunting Brienne even though he’s literally half dead (right before that: “Does the sight of my stump distress you so?” Jaime asked. “You ought to be pleased. I’ve lost the hand I killed the king with. The hand that flung the Stark boy from that tower. The hand I’d slide between my sister’s thighs to make her wet.” He thrust his stump at her face. “No wonder Renly died, with you guarding him”). But I think he’s genuinely desperate to have someone on his side, which is why he quickly swallows his taunts back and apologizes (in his own way).

Strange as it is, he trusts Brienne. He needs to. But she won’t trust him, not yet: he’s still the Kingslayer in her eyes, even after all they went through together.

You need trust to have a truce, so he makes the first step, and volunteers his most guarded secret. Mind, it’s not like he knows what he’s doing—it’s not a completely deliberate choice. He’s exhausted and feverish and lightheaded: “why am I telling this absurd ugly child”, he wonders, while he “floats in heat and memory” and the story practically begins to tell itself, for it was bottled up for too long and was only waiting for a trigger that could let it loose.

But I think the need to build that truce with Brienne is that trigger.

Now, can you really picture Qyburn in Brienne’s place? Or Roose Bolton? Or Pia? Or anyone? I can’t, because these people are nothing to Jaime—worse, most of them are his enemies. He hasn’t developed a complicated, conflicted relationship of begrudging respect with them. Besides, none of them would understand or particularly care about this confession; none of them wants desperately to be a knight of the kingsguard, believes in the sacrality of the institution and is deeply offended at the idea of someone revolting against its vows for apparently no reason—Brienne is. So it’s her opinion the relevant one. The one Jaime implicitly hopes to change (though he will never admit it to himself, and carefully avoids putting it in these terms in his internal monologue).

He didn’t wait 16 years to just tell a random stranger. And if he merely wanted to unburden himself, he could have told Tyrion, or Cersei (the people he’s closest to). He didn’t, because they couldn’t get it either—they will never know (or so he thinks) the inherent contradiction of being an institutionalized killing machine bound to the whims of another person and still have to answer to your own conscience. Jaime is a knight, and one of a kind, so he’s going to tell another knight who is also one of a kind (for completely different reasons). Somehow, in some fundamental way, he understands that Brienne is his peer, and that she has already started to see a side of him that he’s always kept hidden; hopefully, his words won’t fall into the void with her, they’ll sink deep and stir a reaction, whatever it is.

(that’s why, in the end, he’s SO frustrated by Brienne’s silence: has my tale turned you speechless? Come, curse me or kiss me or call me a liar. Something. Jaime is desperate for either outright, definitive condemnation, or—finally—some kind of acceptance. I think part of him craves closure. And validation: please, tell me that my tale impressed you! (the narcissism discourse isn’t wrong, just very simplistic). But also: please, can you confirm that this is in fact a Big Deal? because back then I thought it was enough of a big deal to murder everyone involved with it!)

back to this:

“why am I telling this absurd ugly child?”

—this is actually lampshading on grrm’s part. It does require some suspension of disbelief that Jaime kept this secret for sixteen years, only to reveal it to someone who’s still, technically, his enemy, and whom he’s spent half the book cursing and mocking, right? But that “absurd ugly child” is not random at all, she is, in fact, the only possible recipient for Jaime’s secret, and on a deeper level he knows it. That’s why his conscious mind formulates the question, which, from a storytelling perspective, is there to tell you to pay attention. It means a lot that Jaime, that Jaime’s subconscious, chose Brienne. This is an incredibly layered, poignant scene. They’re both naked, exposed to each other without their armor and clothes and respective house sigils and all those concrete symbols of their political, social, ideological, ethical distance. All of that is removed, dissolved like the dirt on Jaime’s skin. It makes sense that only in this context, with all these underlying connections to cleansing, rebirth, nakedness, and in front of the person who most embodies the purest form of the ideal of knighthood, Jaime is finally compelled to tell the truth, all of it.

one last thing I’d like to mention is that there’s an ongoing thing on Jaime’s part about ~breaking in Brienne’s walls ~ that probably played a part here. He often notices how closed off she is, how guarded. In the early stages of their journey, he mistakes it for dullness, and tries to turn this to his advantage, to piss her off, to find her sore spots to make her lose her temper. Later, as their bond deepens, he discovers that this is a trait she shares with him:

Brienne was always bound beside him. She lay there in her bonds like a big dead cow, saying not a word. The wench has built a fortress inside herself. They will rape her soon enough, but behind her walls they cannot touch her. But Jaime’s walls were gone.

Yet he heard himself whisper, “Let them do it, and go away inside.” That was what he’d done, when the Starks had died before him, Lord Rickard cooking in his armor while his son Brandon strangled himself trying to save him. “Think of Renly, if you loved him. Think of Tarth, mountains and seas, pools, waterfalls, whatever you have on your Sapphire Isle, think…”

Brienne’s guardedness, much as her virginity, both intrigues and repels Jaime. One of the catalysts of the confession is that Brienne shrinks away and turns her back on him. She’s basically retreating behind her walls and shutting him out, while he actively sought her company (he chose the tub she was in, rather than an empty one). Jaime is met once again with rejection and scorn, and he knows that it’s not really about the fact that he just saw her naked, or about something he’s said or done, no, it’s about something he did 16 years ago. It always comes back to Aerys, so Jaime confesses. And I think that yes, in part, he’s trying to get past Brienne’s walls.

#anon #asks #got asks #jaime x brienne #jb**#got**#the bathtub scene #the wildfire plot #rape tw #jb meta #got for ts #jaime x brienne for ts

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fountainpenguin · 7 years

Note

I have quite a few ideas for fanfics and original stories, but I get so bogged down in worldbuilding and analysis that coming up with a plot for people to actually read is much more difficult. Given your extensive headcanons for "The Fairly OddParents", how do you manage it? How do you snap out of Worldbuilding Mode, get into Storywriting Mode and stay there long enough to accomplish anything?

That… is a good question. Well, let’s walk through this together. This is gonna be a VERY BIG one (over 10k words because I’m just that extra), full of behind-the-scenes tidbits for my fanfics, but nothing I’d call super interesting for those who aren’t writers, so feel free to skip this one~

TL;DR: I’m weird. I work best when I choose how to manage my time. Spring break? Time to draw and watch cartoons! But adjusting my schedule so I can do homework AND study AND talk with friends AND answer Tumblr Asks AND research AND write? I will stop procrastinating in an instant, because suddenly there’s no time to lollygag. Why do you think I created the Mikey askblog? I was balancing my time suspiciously well and it was legit having negative effects in my life. I needed to add more pressure to my plate to force myself to work. I’m bizarre. You gotta make the time and have the right environment, I guess!

How to Write More Good: It’s Getting Drafty In Here!

(AKA, Riddle giving general advice on writing early drafts!)

.:: STARTING WITH AN IDEA ::.

(+ Basic Worldbuilding and Character Design)

My first FOP ‘fic was Baby, You’re a Rich Man. It came to be because “School’s Out! The Musical” was (and still is) my favorite episode of the series. After rewatching it half a dozen times, a few things occurred to me:

H.P. and Sanderson were moving away from the sunset in the opening scene, towards Kansas.

Flappy Bob grew up in an orphanage in Dimmsdale, California.

H.P. and Sanderson couldn’t use magic during that opening scene.

It would be more rational for them to take Flappy Bob to Pixie World and get new wands than it would be to drive all the way back to California.

So, that’s how I got the basic idea of, “How did that caring for a baby on a magic-free road trip go?”. While my headcanon base was not as extensive as it is now, I had pinned down the Pixie Wolbachia headcanon. That gave me the starting point I needed to strive into writing this ‘fic with confidence.

As for where my worldbuilding came from in the first place, my personal preference was to break the mold I saw. For example, I chose to focus heavily on real-life insect biology and science in my fanwork. Here are a couple of worldbuilding questions to get your gears turning:

How does society feel about expressing emotions in public?

What are society’s views of marriage?

Bathing? Eating? Taking vacations?

Greeting one another? Holidays? Schooling? Calendars?

Work hours? Who has jobs? How many? How does one get a job?

Living with those you’re related to? Aren’t?

Addressing figures of high status?

Look for basic, “obvious” things that we do in our lives and twist them, and maybe make something that would startle us totally acceptable in your work. It sounds like you’ve made good progress, but I thought I’d toss some thoughts out there for anyone who wants to write, but is lacking ideas in this area.

When writing fanfics, I would ask yourself questions like:

How closely do I want to stick to canon?

My family used to have this giant bucket of honey that said on the side, “Nothing added, nothing taken away”. In my case, I stick as close to canon as possible, and try to act with a policy of “everything added, nothing taken away”. That’s my personal preference, and it makes things easy because, with a few exceptions, no one has to try to remember which episodes are canon in my work, or who is on good terms with who in an AU.

What plot holes will my story address, avoid, or answer?

As mentioned above, I was curious about how H.P. and Sanderson made it to California, why they picked Dimmsdale, and how a magic-free road trip for people who rely so heavily on magic might have gone down. I had the opportunity to explore character relationships and the magic system of the FOPverse.

What worldbuilding elements did canon give that I can expand on?

Wands, Pixies Inc., godchildren, memory wiping, other species, fantastic racism, pixies all looking alike, magical creatures getting drunk on candy and soda, Da Rules…

What is my take on Character A?

I see Sanderson as loyal and devoted; he’d sacrifice himself for H.P. and can’t be convinced to betray him. He craves recognition for this, and is desperate for H.P. to refer to him as his son. He doesn’t know why this is so important to him anymore, just that it’s always been something he wants. He’s also an envious sort who is bitter because he’s head of the complaints department and isn’t vice president of the company.

Someone else might see Sanderson as a suck-up who flatters H.P. beyond belief in the hopes of taking over someday. Or perhaps as a bumbling idiot who only keeps his job through nepotism. Or perhaps H.P. is grooming Sanderson to inherit the position of Head Pixie and treats him like a puppet for political reasons.

My works would be very different if any of these had been my angles. The great thing about headcanons is, we can all have our own!

How have A’s interactions with B changed from canon?

My Sanderson has separation anxiety. I based this off canon, because he always follows H.P. around despite having the lowly job of working in the complaints department. However, his separation anxiety isn’t confirmed by canon.

Someone could say he was only working in complaints in “Pixies Inc.” because the company was transitioning now that they’d bought out Fairy World, and that in reality he is (or was later promoted to be) the vice president, and I would support this interpretation even though it differs from my own.

Do I know how they speak?

I wanna write some “Bunsen Is a Beast” one-shots, but it’ll take some time for me to get a solid feel for these characters. To stay in character, you have to understand their background, vocabulary, facial expressions, body language, movement, eye contact, tics, what they do when they’re flustered or startled, how they laugh…

I fell in LOVE with BIaB’s use of hand gestures and body language, because FOP and DP always came off a little lacking in that area to me. Like. If there is any body part I find attractive, it’s hands and the way they move, just- Hhhhhh asdfjhslfsdfjs bury me in this JUST LOOK-

Keeping characters in character is the make-or-break point of enjoying fanfiction for me. I’ve read long ones that use (mostly) proper grammar, but disliked them because characters were OOC. Likewise, I’ve read pieces with less-than-stellar conventions, and loved them for the believable character portrayals. Sometimes I get lucky and manage to find something that scores high marks in both areas.

Some people don’t mind a little OOC-ness! But I don’t like it (Might be an author thing, being a writer of original works myself). I like fanfics that contain references to CANON DETAILS. Research. Thoughtfulness. Love and care. Expanding on what the creator brought to life, not twisting it so much that it seems like you wrote your OCs and are calling it fanfiction just so people read it.

I mean, I like the show because I like what canon gave me, right? I drool over characters like H.P., Youngblood, and Mikey because I sit there with my chin in my hands and think, “You are such a great character. I wish you could be my character. You are a dang fine character.” It just kinda bothers me when people stray too far from that (I totally support portrayals that differ from my own, but I do favor the guidelines of “everything added, nothing taken away”).

Speaking of characters, characters might change as you write more! Freaking Gavin certainly comes to mind.

My pixie character Longwood was going to be my serious fellow. He was written that way in every scene (of which there weren’t a lot for him yet). But then I wrote the “Solo” prompt (the proctoring of Rosencrantz’s latest placement test) before finishing Baby, You’re a Rich Man.

The very first scene to mention how much of a sucker he is for kisses was the “You have a lipstick stain beside your ear” line, and how Longwood’s hand flashes to the exact spot on his cheek. I was going to leave it at that. But then it slipped into Rich Man, and I couldn’t resist. It took off.

Not only did this end up influencing Origin, but it majorly affected Frayed Knots, Rich Man, and the 130 Prompts project. Bit of a flanderization, but he never lost his other traits (kleptomania, phobia of blood) and it’s unlocked so many wonderful opportunities and plot points.

The entire concept of gynes stemmed from around this, for example, as well as some conflict with Sanderson and H.P. (Longwood wanting to marry despite H.P. telling him not to, along with Longwood’s habit of trading company secrets in exchange for kisses). I can’t see him any other way.

Then Wilcox was going to be my serious character. He ended up with a physical addiction to shapeshifting, loves to be a rabbit, and now wants to marry a rabbit. Well.

Characters can change from your original plans for them. Let them go. It’s their story before it’s yours. The piece will almost certainly be better for it.

TIP: Don’t leave yourself sitting in front of a blank screen. Put something down. I usually keep a collection of town names on hand if nothing else, because I work MUCH better when there are words already there.

These notes have been sitting under the table of contents of Origin of the Pixies since the beginning. If you’re as familiar with my work as I am, you may notice that those four town names have never come up yet. I grew fond of them and wanted to save them for either a really good town, or for original projects.

Here are some other notes up there. The first one is a list of people who are immune to magic, as mentioned in “Crock Blocked” (though it’s supposed to be “new wave”, not “new way”). The second is a deleted line from “Rain Dance” that I really like, but haven’t been able to use yet.

Here are some notes from the beginning of Knots:

Use ‘in which’ subtitles

Maternity colonies

Group of huddling baby bats = creche

“It’s a bit dear” = It’s expensive

“I’ve got the right hump” = I’m irritated

“Plump for something more like…” = Use something more like…

“I’m easy” = I’m laid back; I don’t mind

“All right, darling?” = How do you do?

Chips = Crisps

French fries = Chips

Lift = Elevator

Using “You know what I mean?”

Knackered = Exhausted

Gutted = Broken up about

Gobsmacked = Completely shocked

“I cocked up” = I badly messed up

Blinding = Incredible

Cheers = Thanks

Ace = Expert at

A damp squib = A failure

Chunder = Throwing up; for drunken nights

“Oh, mate, that’s brilliant!”

Fortnight = Two weeks

“She gave me a real bollocking” = She scolded me

“Nice one, really” = Sort of sarcastic; “Great job” or “Nice going”

Dodgy = Not very good (Items / thoughts / actions / people)

Scrummy = Tastes very good

Kerfuffle = Skirmish

“That’s a load of tosh” or “Don’t talk tosh”

“He tried to skive off work” = Sluff

Yup! Stereotypical British slang I’ll probably play around with! I don’t plan to use all of it, and I don’t want to use them too much, but I jotted them down.

I also have a list of symptoms for the iris virus STD, but I don’t think that’s appropriate to share here. Here are some notes from my “Danny Phantom” ‘fic about Youngblood, No Anesthetic:

I used to have his sisters up there, before I moved them to an Excel file:

Excel and such can be a great tool for writers to keep their character notes. Stay organized. Once you get your notes written down, you can stop thinking about them so much (I’ll mention the brain’s response to saying “I can move on now that this is noted down” later in this post) and free up space in your head to think through stuff that hasn’t been finished (aka, the story).

The point of me showing all these is, this is something I always do. You just have to start somewhere. Don’t sit at a blank screen and procrastinate. You’ll get analysis paralysis. The first draft is supposed to be a DRAFT. It can change later. If your first draft is perfect, you have bigger problems to worry about, because you probably have magic powers and a world to save. Write more than you need to in this stage- figure out what to cut later.

Need ideas for what to jot down? Figure out more worldbuilding basics:

Where are people getting their food? Water? Shelter?

Social interaction?

Money?

Materials to do the job to get the money?

Books, toys, writing materials, entertainment?

Eating utensils?

Rights?

Addictions?

Love?

Pets?

What about your protagonist? Main personality traits? Quotes?

Family, alive and deceased? Family history? Heirlooms?

Neighbors?

Nervous habits? Embarrassing habits?

Things they’d lie about?

Things they’d never want anyone to know about them?

Deep dark fears?

Things they would share on their Tumblr blog?

I would easily be able to answer all of these for my FOP work, and several of them for my fantasy novel (currently nicknamed “Stars and Finches”) too.

Now, how can you hint at these things in your story? What happens if you take one of those away, or threaten to? Answering the question of “How would THIS character react?” is thrilling for me, and something that drives me from worldbuilding mode into writing mode.

We all know that it’s common for characters to not be mentioned as needing to go to the bathroom. But remember, your characters are mortal too (or, they’re not!) If they have needs, keep that in mind.

In the first draft of Rich Man (not the outline, but the actual draft), there was no mention of Sanderson being thirsty in the early chapters. I added it later because I realized how long he had gone without drinking in hot and dusty Kansas, so then we end up with these scenes:

Chap 1:

I pulled myself together, licking at my dry lips.

Oil dripped in silence, and I remembered how dry my mouth was, full of dust and maybe a bit of blood.

Chap 2:

Water. Water. Water! I hadn’t wanted to get my hopes up just in case I was wrong, but as I approached the small army of metal animals encircling the watering hole on Hole 8, I felt hope swell within me. I knelt between a hulking elephant and a slender zebra near the little wooden bridge. Hugging Flappy to me with one arm, bracing myself with the other, I drank until all the dirt and corn dust had washed from my mouth. It tasted like whipped cream. When I next licked my lips, actual wetness spread itself over the cracks.

Characters needing to meet their needs can be a great plot device if you’re groping for ideas! In fact, I said one time that my tip for overcoming writer’s block is as follows:

Your character is either hungry, thirsty, exhausted, second-guessing themselves, learning a new skill, overcoming a naturally-formed or man-made obstacle, or that really great plot point you’re excited for is coming up next and it’s time to dialogue your way in that direction. Rinse and repeat.

(On the subject of writer’s block, I sometimes record myself reading the dialogue I’ve already written. Bonus points if you can get the voices right, though I sometimes find it difficult to switch between multiple ones. If you can get really into it and carry on a long conversation with yourself, perhaps you can transcribe some of what you say to your writing.)

.:: THE FIRST OUTLINE ::.

Confession time: I’m not awesome at plots myself (That’s why I tend to write long, drawn-out pieces, because the plot then becomes “development and discovery”). But Rich Man’s road trip idea came with a built-in plot. It was supposed to be pretty quick and done.

Like. A sixteen-page long one-shot. Not an 85,000-word novel. So, what I did was, I just started writing and let the story unfold as I went. This is what I knew was going to happen:

H.P. and Sanderson find Flappy in the cornfield

Sanderson gets shot in the wing so he can’t fly for the rest of the story; the stakes have been upped because his ability to escape is limited.

Sanderson and H.P. get separated in the field and Sanderson panics because of his separation anxiety. He tips over the edge and H.P. scolds him for this when they meet up again.

Everyone goes to the minigolf course. H.P. puts Sandy in charge while he plays golf by himself. Sandy is torn between staying at the course or leaving for food, because he and Flappy are hungry. He also ends up losing Flappy, but he’s found again later.

In the morning, everyone leaves and they get back in the car and start searching for food. Flappy needs baby supplies.

H.P. and Sanderson disguise themselves with a trench coat or something from the back of their truck and get supplies from a gas station. While outside the station, they get backed into a corner. Sanderson ends up running inside the station with Flappy while H.P. got caught and dragged off.

Sanderson tries to balance Flappy’s needs with figuring out where H.P. is and how to rescue him. He feels alone and miserable, but eventually he manages to reunite with H.P. somehow.

H.P. and Sanderson make it to the base of the Pixie World Bridge just as it starts to rain, and manage to get Flappy above the clouds, and arrive in Pixie World to dry off.

In the conference room, H.P. explains the loose outline for his plans, and Sanderson is put in charge of watching Flappy for the night.

Now, anyone who’s read Rich Man will realize instantly that something is very wrong. This doesn’t look much like the finished project. Where are Eunice and Quincy? Where’s the candy and the fence? Where’s Anti-Naelita? What happened to the soccer field? Jorgen? The sugar bar? The will o’ the wisps?

Simple: my outline was loose enough to give me wiggle room. Some writers prefer a strict outline, but I’m not one of them. You might not be either.

As you can see, I had a decent outline here. I had a good starting point, even if it was rough and many details were fuzzy. I got to this point by first marking general notes, and then asking questions and adding more notes:

I need to get from the cornfield to Pixie World.

What is the cornfield like? What time of day is it? What’s around? Who’s around?

What happened to the guy they hit with their truck when they spun into the corn? And how much did the collision / spin / impact jostle them?

How are they going to take care of Flappy?

They don’t have magic.

A baby will need to be fed and changed

There’s no way they have baby supplies in their truck

Where and how will they get supplies? How will they get the supplies to get the supplies? Who will they meet when they get it? What are the dangers?

I want H.P. and Sanderson to get separated.

How can we up the stakes?

I can take Sandy’s ability to fly, and discuss the ways magical creatures can die, and put Sandy in or near those situations so we can see him fret

Even if the audience knows that the main character survives (especially when writing backstories), the writer should strive to keep them on their toes with physical and emotional dangers

I love the idea of Sanderson having separation anxiety, so I’d like some of the focus on the story to be on that

I should foreshadow this by separating them in the cornfield for a short period of time.

What happens to Flappy when they separate?

How does H.P. take care of Flappy vs. how Sanderson takes care of him? Who is more capable: H.P. who has much more experience but is strict, or Sanderson who is more compassionate but makes many mistakes?

How do they get back together?

An injured wasp releases pheromones. I based pixies off wasps. I could do something with this.

I like the idea of Sanderson putting himself in harm’s way to trigger his pheromones, because it drives home how desperate and lost he is.

What’s my end goal? Why am I writing this?

I want to share my portrayal of these characters that I like, and maybe others will like these portrayals and characters too.

I’m interested in exploring the worldbuilding and magic system, and trying to bring all the scattered bits of canon that seem to conflict into a single consistent magic system with strengths and flaws.

There’s not a real moral here, or at least not a good one. It’s just sort of slice-of-life, and shows how much H.P. means to Sanderson compared to what Sanderson means to H.P., and just sketch an idea as to what their overarching relationship is.

I wanted to point out the Kansas/California disconnect and play around with a magic-free road trip.

This was enough for me to get started. Just keep asking and answering questions! At this point, I had no other ‘fics to refer to, so I threw in worldbuilding as I went along (Hint: Reference past experiences that helped one grow or made someone nervous. Compare things to something that belongs specifically in this world when describing colors, expressions, body language, or facial features. What reminds a character of their past? How can you make those things related to your ideas or to canon worldbuilding?).

I made things up as I went along, and tried to slip in worldbuilding:

What’s so special about this minigolf course?

Apparently Sanderson was born here

What was H.P.’s life like back then?

What is the course decorated like? Why?

I really wanted the tree Sandy climbs to be a maple. But how did a maple end up in Kansas? Hmm.

As adorable as being born at the golf course would be, how does that work with the time differences?

How the Big Wand works

How magical creatures breathe

Lines can get tangled

What wand providers do

Undoing magic (reversal fluid and signature codes)

Limitations on magic

Why wands are important

How wands work

In a magical sense

In a physical sense

Legal jazz and paperwork junk

Magic lines

Magic doesn’t work well in poor weather conditions

Tingle-fritziness

Snapping lines

How do babies get lines?

Tying lines

Three is preferred; too many or two few can compromise one’s health.

Magic dust

Non-magic users see what they expect to see if there is magical residue around (basically sweat; aka fairy dust)

Healing

Ability to fly

The energy field

Field-sight

Species variations

Magical politics

Mind wiping

Fantastic racism

Rules about interfering with neutral / evil parties on Earth

Court cases

Anti-Pixie society

Sanderson is reserved, likes singing, and is loyal to H.P., but Anti-Sanderson is boisterous, likes dancing, and usurped H.P.’s counterpart

What even was the previous 37-year plan anyway?

And how important? What did the Fairies think of it? Anti-Fairies?

Sanderson hates it when girls flirt with him when he’s just trying to fix the copy machine; it’s distracting and confusing

Inspiration back-up is maybe a thing? This is a really iffy subject

How did the Pixies become involved with Gary and Betty? Why THEM?

Sanderson is taking care of them because he grew fond of their parents after meeting them in this ‘fic. When the plan called for more human children to raise, Sanderson knew who to look into.

Sanderson is not company vice president, and is bitter rivals with the pixie who is

Who gives pixies milk? Foster mothers

Who was Sanderson’s milkmother? How did H.P. meet her? Does Sanderson remember her? Why isn’t she still around? Did she have kids? Are they his siblings? Why aren’t they around?

… Basically, if you have the choice between slipping in a world-building detail or falling back on an old cliche, the former is probably the better way to go. Of course, I myself hit a snag when I couldn’t figure out what Sanderson would know about H.P.’s past, so I started to develop Origin of the Pixies seriously.

Write the stuff you’ve already come up with. Try to see things from the perspective of someone who can’t see the inner workings of your head:

Is your logic sound?

Do you contradict yourself?

Do you think you’ve avoided plot holes?

Are your explanations confusing?

What questions might people ask? How would you answer them?

What if this story was written with different characters?

How would they try solving their problems? What would they know? Why DON’T the characters you chose to use react that way?

My advice is, don’t be stubborn with your outline. Be flexible. I mean, look at this note I added to Rich Man 8 when I originally posted it on deviantArt:

Idona’s presence, I think, might be worth a little explanation. First things first, I would like to throw out that I did not invent an OC to ship Sanderson with because I find romance necessary. I’m really not much of a shipper in general. This was always supposed to be a story about Sanderson, his boss, and a baby clown. So if you’re anything like me, you can breathe again.

[…] Idona was not supposed to be in this story. She isn’t in my original outline whatsoever. Even when I started thinking I might have Sanderson run across a will o’ the wisp, I was going to use one of the random ones. Literally anybody but Idona, because knowing her the way I’ve learned to [from writing Origin of the Pixies], there is no way she wouldn’t bring up romance, and I didn’t want that to even be a question in this story.Problem being that if we’re perfectly honest, based on Origin of the Pixies canon, most wisps would have either A) confused him with Longwood and attacked out of frustration (and I was really done with Sanderson getting physically beat on), or the more likely B) smothered him in kisses and such right then and there, O'Weskar v. Pixies Inc. notwithstanding, seeing as they know they have the time to have their way with him before he dies. And no way was I going that far. Either I had to change Origin of the Pixies, I had to invent pointless new wisp characters and introduce plot holes, or I had to adjust a scene in Baby, You’re a Rich Man that I wasn’t happy with.Using Idona surprisingly led me to the least possible romance and the best balance of sanity, if that makes any sense. Because she’s the only one who would ever see him as a person and respect his refusal, and not just take advantage of him. And I got to show Sanderson doubling back in desperate search of the only wisp he actually dislikes rather than has more neutral feelings towards. That was nice. Not that… it means much to you all, not having read Origin of the Pixies yet. So, yes, I’m entirely aware that this scene probably still seems out of place with the rest of the story, but I assure you, every word Idona says, her fascination with Sanderson in particular, and the fact that wisp damsels come out in the rain nowadays makes complete sense. And, for those of you who actually were itching for romance, take this and sit tight. Next time we’ll talk with Longwood and someone’s gonna get busted.So if Idona weren’t here at all then their conversation would have been replaced with more of Sanderson’s rambling which, while it was my first intention, did not go as well as I hoped. It really went on for about ten pages and I kind of. Pushed him. Over the brink of reality and had to start over. There was a lot of grass-eating involved. I had to stop when I ran him into the ground because I had little choice but to make Jardine stumble across him while he got his dirt, and that rang like a cop-out. It was all much too OOC even for my take on Sanderson, I realized when I sat back and took a second look. So now you get Idona and I’m 100% certain the story is better for it. It did fix a major plothole in a later scene, after all.

This is just what, after twelve years of trial and error, seems to work very well for me. Some people might be driven crazy by an outline that said, “I don’t know how they meet up again, but I’ll figure that out when I get there”.

Personally, I let the characters guide me. If you’ve read Rich Man, you know that Sanderson is actually the one who gets captured, and that he ends up bonding a bit with Thomas over music. I came up with that love of music idea when I reached that scene.

That’s what works! Alternatively, if I were more of a planner, I could have drawn up a character sheet for Thomas in advance, and I might have written, say… “Flattery is the way to his heart”, and gone into the scene with that character detail in mind, and Sanderson could have flattered his way out.

In the latest chapter of Origin, I had the scene where Sanderson hugs the yoo-doo doll and the scene where H.P. stabs the arrow into it written out months ago, but I didn’t figure out where or how they got the dolls (or who was guarding them) until I actually made it to that section of the chapter.

Just remember: Better to have a rough draft than nothing at all! If you feel paralyzed, start asking questions and trying to decide how you can answer them in your piece without infodumping too much! Unless you infodump the way I did when Sanderson went on his rant(s) in Chapter 1, I guess?

.:: FIRST WORDS ::.

Okay, let’s back it up. We’re pretty far into this post now, and yet the first thing I ever do when actually writing a story is, throw down all the scene snippets I’ve been keeping in my head before creating the document.

Ex: In Frayed Knots, here’s one scene I scribbled downvery early-

The glimmering of her translucent wings cast rainbows across the squares of light leaking over the otherwise dark floor. My core twisted in a knot. I covered my mouth and nose with my fingers, choking on literal butterflies because the sight was so sickeningly pretty and good and pure that it made my head spin and the blood thump in my neck. It went against every Anti-Fairy instinct, every Anti-Fairy cultural norm, every Anti-Fairy schooling lesson, every Anti-Fairy wands and wings talk-

And I liked it.

Wanda placed her hand to my forehead. “Are you all right? Your face is flushed purple, but your forehead doesn’t seem overly cold.”

- and I moved from stuff like that onto the next chunk, which was writing the scenes that appear in both Knots and Origin from the viewpoints of Anti-Cosmo and H.P., respectively, and making them each distinct. For example-

Origin-

Against his best efforts, Anti-Cosmo pulled a more amusing face than he would ever admit to and handed me back my mug. “Blimey! I really don’t know how you can drink this putrid stuff all day, old sport.”

I slid his tea cup and saucer across my desk with the end of my pen. “And I will never see the appeal of this sickly sweet water, either. I can hardly function without my morning coffee dose.”

“All the more reason we should align forces, I think. The coffee is yours, but all the tea in the universe shall be mine. Ahahaha!”

“And the sugar?”

My door exploded open as Anti-Cosmo was working through his, “I say we split the difference”. He yelped and dropped the cup he had just picked up, and it spilled steaming tea all over his lap. Brown dots splattered across the papers on the desk between us.

“Sanderson,” I said, trying not to focus on the bead of sweat creeping down my forehead. “This is definitely not a good time to make a fool of yourself.”

He surveyed the situation fast and pinged up a handful of small towels for Anti-Cosmo. To me, “Longwood and Smitty are trying to kill each other down in the food court.”

“Oh, blitz.” I shoved my chair backwards and pushed past the anti-fairy. At the door, I turned back to him. “I would suggest you remain here, Anti-Cosmo. For your own safety.”

“My own safety?” he repeated, utterly perplexed. He had his handkerchief balled in his blue hand, even though tea was still splattered across his prim shirt and dark pants. His green eyes narrowed with glinting suspicion. “I’m not certain this isn’t a clever attempt at a trap, H.P.”

Knots-

I fiddled with my wand beneath the edge of his desk. I’d seen what that stuff did to him the morning after we’d spent that night together during the war. “Hot drinks don’t appeal so much to anti-entities.”

“Just taste it, tea-drinker,” he coaxed.

So I did. It stung the cuts along the roof of my mouth, just as I’d expected to, but I did not spit my swallow out, and I’m very proud of that. “Blimey,” I said mildly as I lowered it. Struggling to maintain an even expression, I passed back his mug. “I really don’t know how you can drink this putrid stuff all day, old sport.”

“And I will never see the appeal of this sickly sweet water, either,” he said as he returned my teacup. “I can hardly function without my morning coffee dose.”

I smiled and lifted that softly-steaming cup of sweetness to my nose. “All the more reason we should align forces, I think. The coffee is yours, but all the tea in the universe shall be mine!” My proposal ended in a small cackle.

He tilted his head. “And the sugar?”

“I say we split the difference.”

The door burst before I finished. Tea spilled down my shirt and over my legs. I flinched and probably let slip a squeal as I grabbed at the insides of my coat. The Head Pixie’s face bled into mortified white.

“Sanderson, this is definitely not a good time to make a fool of yourself.”

I rotated my chair partway around, squeezing the wet front of my shirt in my fist. The flustered pixie kept one hand pressed to his hair, but he spared me a fleeting glance. As he pinged up an unsteady stack of gray towels above my head, he blurted, “Longwood and Smitty are trying to kill each other down in the food court.”

Spitting unprofessional curses, the Head Pixie launched himself over his desk, caught his foot on the edge, tripped, and slammed hard into the ground beside my feet. He scrambled up again and flew through his door. Then he poked his head back in. “I would suggest you remain here, Anti-Cosmo. For your own safety.”

I cocked my ears forward. “My own safety? I’m not certain this isn’t a clever attempt at a trap, H.P.”

Of course, I guess you don’t really have that luxury, huh? Having another story to refer to? So sharing these blocks was kind of pointless.

Some scenes may get cut. Even ones that you thought you liked. If you’re a writer, I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “Kill your darlings” before.

That’s especially the case when trying to publish, as you’re bound to a certain length. Fanfiction is nice because you can be as long as you want. But still, I would advise you, if something’s not working? It’s hurting. Drop it. Keep only scenes that contribute.

Could I have written several more chapters in Origin about H.P.’s life in Kalysta’s burrow? Heck yes. Could I have written about the years he spent as a servant / butler to Cattahan? Definitely. But they disrupted the flow, and really, the audience didn’t need them. Wield the timeskip wisely.

.:: DIVIDE AND CONQUER ::.

Okay, so you know I scribble down what I can think of at the time, right? What if I don’t know a detail? Should I stop and work it out? Spend an hour or two researching right then and there?

Nah. I throw down an underscore and keep moving. Later, I can use the search feature to show me all the underscores and fill them in during the second draft, when I have more time for fact-checking like that.

This is my favorite example of the underscores, from the “Think Positive” prompt, because every time I find this scene again it just makes me snort:

“-pixies over the millennia. Surely you can loan me some advice to raising mine? I don’t know the first thing about raising a child. I’ve never held a pup in my life.”

The Head Pixie scratched his chin. “Aren’t you Mr. Genie Conservation Program?”

“_.”

“Right. _.”

Anti-Cosmo shoved back his seat and lifted his wings. “_?”

“_,” he said as he took another sip of soda.

“_.”

“Wasn’t that the very first thing I said?”

“But do you even know how Anti-Fairy rrreproduction works?”

The most interesting conversation.

Anyway, I knew that I wanted these two to bounce off one another. I knew A.C. was acting high-strung, and H.P. was more relaxed. I wrote everything for this prompt that I could think of at the time one night. It’s been sitting around waiting for me to finish it, which I haven’t yet because there were other prompts I wanted to get to first.

I do the same thing with Origin. Heck, I even do the same thing when writing school assignments-

I even did it when writing this post! What I know, I pen down while I’m in the flow. Once you get the outlines of the puzzle down, you can go back and fill in the gaps!

Just for fun, because I work on other projects besides fanfics, here’s me doing the same thing in “Stars and Finches”:

“We’ll have to turn back. The waves are picking up.”

From the upper deck, I called, “Can’t you use magic to make it fly?”

She squinted at me. Then she squinted at _. The _ came out of her mouth. “Does this elfblood even know how _ships work?”

“I’m Allard Krindan.”

“And I’m annoyed.” She made the six-fingered Sikhorian hand gesture for “You’re not worth my time” and marched off. I folded back my ears and stared after her. Were all the Sikhorians going to treat me with such blatant disrespect?

“Listen, kid.” _ put his arm around me. “Ever wonder why no one steers the _ships across the mountains even though _they’re capable of traveling over land?”

“That never came up in my ambassador-in-training lessons, no.”

“Ambassador, huh?” His eye roamed to me as he popped the _ in his mouth. “Well, _. That’s why it’s so important to have the canal.”

This is a very rough draft I haven’t looked at for a bit because fanfics have been sapping up my attention. But my parents and I agreed that for my “summer job”, they’ll let me write, as long as I’m writing like it’s my job. So, I’ll become more scarce around that time as I try to finish my original novel

I think I’ll scrap the idea of the ships hovering over land. That seems too easy. They’ll stick to the water, I guess. Hmm…

.:: TABLE OF CONTENTS ::.

Unless I’m writing a one-shot or something else that’s relatively short, I always keep a table of contents at the beginning of a piece (I didn’t create one for No Anesthetic, but I left my entire first draft outline up there, even though it’s already drastically different from the way the final piece has been going). As I complete each chapter, I scratch it off with the strikeout tool.

As you can see, I’ve now finished with Acts 1 and 2. Origin got so big that it was taking the Google Docs app on my phone a painfully long time to load the story, so the second list is in my second document, and the third in the third. The asterisks symbolize the four different Acts-

Act 1: The transition from H.P. living on his own to officially accepting Sanderson

Act 2: H.P. struggling with questions, lifestyle choices, and little kids; being abducted by the cherubs and studied

Act 3: The development of Pixie World, the war over godchildren, the study of the Wolbachia bacteria, and the aftermath of the war

Act 4: Tying up loose ends; H.P. dealing with his pixies growing up and aging himself

This table of contents is pretty important to me, since I tend to write scenes as I think of them and jump up and down the story. This list helps me keep my facts straight (although tbh I can keep 99.99% of the order, mood, and timeframe of scenes straight in my head because that’s just the way I am. I can accurately keep track of hundreds of characters without double-checking their info constantly. Can I recognize somebody new in my life that I was introduced to the day before? No).

I have the kind of personality that enjoys completing things for the sake of completing them, so scratching them off is very reinforcing to me. Look how much I’ve done! Origin of the Pixies is easily the longest FOP fanfic on the Internet, and only halfway done! I did this! Isn’t that awesome? I wanna finish this puppy! I’ve poured so much of my love and time into it!

Here’s a snippet of the table from my Total Drama fanfic, The Lyin’ Queen:

The chapters are all named after Simple Plan songs as a reference to Staci listing her favorite band as Simple Flan. In this table, you can see I have small notes next to each chapter. That can be helpful too! Origin actually had notes like this back before I memorized what happens in which chapter.

Now, remember that I noted down everything I could think of. To create the table of contents, I calculated in my head where in the story I wanted things to fall (hence the notes in parentheses), and where I envisioned chapter breaks. In Knots, for example, my chapters are divided like this:

I picked this part of Knots rather than Origin because you can see that “Grand Day Out” has nothing in it yet (whereas all my Origin chapters have more content). However, I know that it exists. I went ahead and wrote it there so I wouldn’t forget; when I’m in the mood to write the ceremonial send-off scene or anything else about the upper planes of the Deep Kingdom, then I’ll scroll down to this section of the document and add it in. “Pretty Boys”, though, already has quite a few scenes written already!

Fun Fact: The Faelumen were originally designed to exist in Knots alone, and weren’t mentioned at all in Origin. It was supposed to be a big, fun surprise reveal… but after I wrote some scenes with Dame Head, I loved her too much. Plus, I thought it was something I should talk about with the whole “pixies reproduce asexually thing”, and answer the questions about why she wasn’t in Origin when Anti-Fergus was. Then the religion thing happened… Yep!

If you’ve been keeping up with this blog and Origin, you know that I unexpectedly split “Fruitful Fruition” in half to create “Snowflake”, even though the latter wasn’t in my outline. That’s okay! This is why I like to write as I go along rather than planning out too many details. It’s easy to be flexible!

TIP: Generally speaking, I write rough draft scenes as I think them up. They stay that way as rough drafts; I don’t worry about them too much. They’re full of underscores, and even in some cases, blatant mistakes.

Originally, Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda had their first kiss upside down in a tree. The draft scene is written that way. Now it’s in a petting zoo, because really, why would you not?

Point being, there are still several references later in the story about them being in a tree that I haven’t yet corrected. I’ll do that when I actually write the chapter from start to finish and decide what to cut.

When I really sit down to write the story, though, I go in order. From the start of the chapter, with maybe a few pops forward when something comes to mind, but mostly, I go in order.

Otherwise, you might have a great scene, but it doesn’t fit the flow or mood of the story, or - worse - something came up and now the scene doesn’t make sense at all, after you put in so much effort.

If I’m in the mood to write a scene, I make time to pen the draft down as soon as possible. I do NOT say, “I’ll just hang onto that thought and write it all when I get there”. Use it or lose it!

At this time, Knots has all the scenes loosely written that I first thought of (bringing the document to approximately 200 pages). These are main scenes: conflicts with Mom, coming-of-age ceremony, Wish Fixers therapy, lots of Anti-Wanda stuff, basically all the Anti-Sanderson stuff, scenes from the war…

The next goal is finishing my outline and how I want to pace things / jump around, then figuring out the drafts for main scenes I haven’t finished yet (the opening scene, A.C.’s wedding, Anti-Bryndin, more war stuff, the bake-off, etc.) Once those main roughs are done, I’ll start writing the final version of Chapter 1, and eventually post it! Then I’ll begin work on the final version of Chapter 2, with occasional pauses to add more draft scenes later in the story if I think one up.

.:: MOTIVATION ::.

Aside from scratching off chapters being reinforcing, talking about my work on this blog helps a lot too. Although no chapters have been posted, I can’t very well back out of Frayed Knots; you know too much and I won’t make a liar out of myself now. It might take me weeks or months, but I’ll get to it!

NOTE: Revealing TOO MUCH can be severely detrimental! You may trigger your brain’s response that, “Oh, I talked about this thing? I shared it, my task is complete, I can be satisfied and stop now”. You may notice I try to only share stuff from Knots that I’ve already written, and keep my lip buttoned on stuff that’s still up in the air.

For some people, something as simple as crossing a chapter off their list may not be satisfying enough. You could always reward yourself with a bit of ice cream or candy or another treat, say, if you finish a chapter, or if you wrote a certain amount of words each day. I usually reward myself with more writing.

The NaNoWriMo community has been very supportive to me in the three years I’ve participated in National Novel Writing Month (the goal being to write 50,000 words between November 1st and November 30th).

On that site, when you make an account and sign up for the event each November, you get a purple bar underneath your username. It announces how many words you’ve written so far. If you write just 1,667 words a day, you’ll reach 50,000 by the 30th this post is almost six times that oh my gosh.

Again, being able to update my wordcount and see how well I was keeping on track was very rewarding to me, and I’ve met the 50k count for 3/3 NaNovels (Courtesy, Silverfish, and Protagonist For Hire, which amazingly somehow got its 50,000 but is very poorly written and not close to done)!

You can also win promotional codes and stuff. I got five free self-published copies of my 2012 novel Courtesy of Number 124 when I finished and formatted them, among other benefits! It depends on the year, I think!

Again, I like completing things. I like HAVING things. After many hours of searching the web, I was disappointed in the lack of Pixie ‘fics. Although there were some, it wasn’t enough for me. I didn’t want Pixies putting another 37-year-plan into action, or getting revenge on Timmy. I wanted serious backstory.

As previously mentioned, by establishing that H.P. had written Origin, I was at a risk for writing Sanderson as dumb for not knowing something H.P. had mentioned in his book. Sanderson has read and studied Origin extensively, so I had to make sure he didn’t “conveniently” forget a fact he should know, and when writing Origin, I have to make sure not to contradict Sanderson, or give the answers to anything he stated in Rich Man that he doesn’t know

Fact: In the Origin Act 2 finale, I used “breathed” as a said tag for the first time in this story. One of the underlying things in Rich Man was, Sanderson didn’t fully grasp the concepts of how humans breathe. The word “breathe” doesn’t come up much in Rich Man, until the closing lines, like “He never stopped breathing”. I have been IN PAIN not using “breathed”, so I finally bit the bullet because forget this.

And of course, as a result, that means H.P. shouldn’t have taught him anything about humans breathing. This I… slightly retconned, because breathing turned out to be more important for Origin than I had previously expected.

Though, in Rich Man, Sanderson never explicitly says he doesn’t know what breathing is (Obviously he has to know, considering he finally said the word). It’s just, I was subtly trying to hint in Rich Man that he truly recognized the nature of his own self - a being who could technically be called half mortal, half immortal - at the same time he began to understand Flappy’s human nature.

ANYWAY, figure out how you’re motivated and then play to your own wants and needs! Passion and a love of the work is arguably the best way to be, because it’s simple. But if praise is reinforcing to you? Share what you’ve done with me, and I’ll give you many pats on the back!

That… would have been the only three sentences required to answer this Ask, but I wrote this giant post instead. YOU KNOW WHO I AM, DENISE!

.:: OTHER WRITING ADVICE B/C IDK WHY NOT? ::.

You’re writing for two audiences

The first is of course your readers. That’s the easy answer. But, you ought to love what you’re doing. The second audience you write for is yourself. What have you always wanted to write, but haven’t gotten around to?

For me, I love extravagant coming of age ceremonies! I’ll take any excuse to dress characters up in something they wouldn’t normally wear, force them to participate in things they otherwise wouldn’t, or shove them in a situation where they’re horribly embarrassed but can’t escape.

And, I love inventing fantasy religions! Religious beliefs can be huge motivators for characters that can explain being “out of character”. Take advantage of this!

For a third example, Origin of the Pixies gave me the chance to write about marsupial pouches and the embarrassment of one’s offspring crawling into said pouch while in public. That’s been a joy from start to finish.

Write the scenes you “can’t afford” to write

Well, uh… so, here’s a little secret I was never planning to share… I’ve written make-out scenes and yes, even some more intimate scenes while working on Origin and Knots. They’ll just never appear, and you’ll never get to read them. It’s not something I EVER would have done just a year ago, and yet here I am.

I am a sex-repulsed aromantic asexual. I have no business nosing my way into this area. And yet I did. And it was very interesting.

I was mostly curious to see how well my skills held up trying to describe scenarios I know little about, and it turns out that mostly, they held up extremely well! I think. It’s kind of refreshing to just let yourself write and know that no one will ever judge you on it.

Obviously, don’t write something that makes you uncomfortable just because I said here that it’s something that helps me in my writing.

Really, I didn’t focus so much on writing intimate scenes per se so much as the situations that led up to them (BOY, let me tell you how many of these “sex” scenes I have with a bunch of flirtation and set-up, and then they just… go blank, because I already had all I needed to know about how the characters would act when being romantic in private). Situations are really interesting. Emotions, dialogue, lack of one or both… Different people act in different ways.

I have H.P.’s kissing scene under the stairs with a random girl, squished between four other couples, from the party in Chapter 4- That one was REALLY fun, and recently I ended up recycling most of that scene as a sort-of flashback early in Origin Act 3 (loosely down as falling in “Cotton Candy Oatmeal”). Very teenager-y and full of hormones, which was the point. Seriously, that scene came out SO DANG WELL, and I’m very proud of my aro/ace un-kissed self. Oh man, I’ve written so many nice behind-the-scenes scenes full of character fleshing that I wish I could share.

I have Ambrosine and Ilisa Maddington (Ambrosine admiring her shampoo and giant white bathtub is adorable to me, for some reason). For crying out loud, I even wrote “‘Stars and Finches’ AU where most everything’s the same in this scene but Gavin and Ethel try to be flirty b/c I need to know how they act for research” Answer: They are super, super clueless and awkward and in this AU they DEVASTATE their relationship this way it’s so hilarious to me because “Let’s shatter these two emotionally” generally isn’t what you’d expect to get out of “AU where this story has romance / making out and jazz in it”.

Idk this is just really fascinating to me? I can still keep them 100% in character even in situations they wouldn’t normally find themselves in? I’ve explored their personalities just to understand them better, not to impress readers? I love it!

SO! The reason I wrote these things is simple: Character fleshing. You’re the author! Characters’ personal lives are completely your business. It might help to know how these people act when the audience isn’t supposed to be watching- and then draw inspiration from that to use in the actual story.

Case in point: One thing that absolutely shocked me was the way cute and sweet China acts behind closed doors. Freaking China. Apparently she’s really nice and casual by day, but she’s super specific at night, and will pitch a fit if things don’t go her way. She guilts the heck out of H.P. It’s her little way of getting control, being a selkie…

Basically, she did a 180-flip in my mind after I wrote the dialogue exchange and narrative reflecting on their relationship, and I loved it. Almost all of the lines from those few paragraphs ended up in Origin.

And given how many relationships H.P. makes and breaks over the 700,000 years this story covers, going behind the scenes this way allows me to compare and contrast his girls. Whereas China is specific and decides when they sleep together, Kalysta is easy-going just as long as he’s there. Very, very interesting and very fun for me!

Of course, don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable doing. But maybe break out of your comfort zone and write scenes that will never make it into the story. Not just kissy-kissy scenes, but other scenes too:

Those shady deals behind the best friend’s back

The moment the villain realizes someone’s out to stop her

Midnight snacks

Doctor and dentist appointments

Birthday celebrations

What happens when they’re out of their favorite breakfast

Being stuck in traffic / going to work

Relatives coming to visit

Grocery shopping

A situation where they are the only one stressed

Trying a new recipe

Cleaning the house

Ordering at a fancy restaurant

Ordering from a drive-thru

First cruise vacation

Service for a friend or stranger

Multitasking (TV, phone conversation, and food?)

Big homework assignments

Interview / performance review

Visiting a museum

Going to the pool / waterpark on a hot day

Visiting a sick friend or relative

Attending a funeral (for someone they either know well, or don’t)

Take your kid to work day

Caught in the act of an embarrassing habit

Accidentally set something on fire

Can’t find an item (either dumb or important)

What happens during timeskips

Before the story begins

After it comes to a close

Stuff that happens in daily life, but the reader doesn’t need to know because it doesn’t add enough to the story. Or, maybe some of these will turn out to be crucial, and you can work them in. Writing about what your character sees in a museum is a great way to worldbuild, and then you can sneak hints of what you learn from writing that prompt into the actual finished work. Hint at a world that keeps getting deeper. Treat yo’self- you might just be surprised.

… I realize that we’re straying from the original topic, but I’m on a roll here. Hmm. I’ll make a separate prompt list for all of these things and post it later.

Google Docs is a good way to go

Google Docs is free to use, the only stipulation being that you need a gmail account, I think. If you have an iPhone or something, download the Google Docs app. It’s free too.

Whatever you write on one will sync to other devices automatically. Take advantage of this and, if you’re not socializing or keeping an eye on your surroundings otherwise, write everywhere. Write when you’re a passenger on the bus, write between class changes, write while you’re eating with the other hand, and if you have enough self-control to still get to sleep on time, you can keep it beside your bed.

I’ve only had Docs crash on me once in two+ years, and since it saves automatically as you work anyway (and saves your past edits), I didn’t lose anything. I used WordPerfect for almost a decade, I’ve often used Microsoft Word for school papers, and I have Scrivener, but Google Docs is my favorite to write with because I can walk up to any computer, log in, and access my 85+ files in an instant. Dropbox syncing used to take HOURS back in the day.

(The one thing I might mention is that if I remember correctly, the Google Docs app is extremely hard to log out of on the iPhone, if there is even an option. It’s been some time since I checked, however, but may be something to keep in mind for those who share phones with people they’d be embarrassed to have reading their work.)

Take your time

Seriously, timing is everything. I could name numerous pieces that would have been vastly different had I submitted them as soon as I thought they were ready. It was seven months after I “finished” “Bells and Whistles” before I was able to post it, and it changed a surprising amount after all those revisions!

It’s okay not to have your worldbuilding fully worked out when you start. In fact, I’d even say it’s better that way! When you worldbuild as you go, you’re truly immersed in the world and the work!

And lastly?

Find the good in everything, and accept the bad along with it. You gotta, bro.

Don’t compare yourself to other writers. You’re all working to entertain and have fun. It’s not a competition- you’re just here to be better than yesterday. Look to other writers to study and admire and learn from, but don’t let their years of hard work make you feel less about your years of hard work.

Hope I helped ya, and thanks for asking for my advice! Keep me posted on how your work goes!

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mild-lunacy · 7 years

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What Characters Deserve: Projection vs Empathy

Projection is something I've long struggled with in fandom. I've actually recently reblogged an illustration of how it works, which is a bit over-the-top but nevertheless accurate. There's definitely a progression of attitudes, from the mildly transformative to the wildly appropriating. I'd like to note that it's all *natural*; I'm not saying there's a right or wrong way to be a fan, obviously. I'm just saying that I personally struggle with the predominant nature of this approach in fandom and the role it plays in typical fan discussions, because I think it leads to a lot of discourse about what went 'wrong' when canon fans are disappointed. It is a pervasive attitude, but one that's pretty much impossible to argue or push back against effectively. Also, the fact is that I would generally *prefer* there was more of an emphasis on empathy in reading or responding to fiction: that is, asking the question of 'how can I put myself into this fictional character's shoes' instead of asking, 'how can I put myself *into* this fictional character'.

For example, I'm a fan of slashing characters, because for me it starts with the canon and plays with it based on its unexplored potentials in fanon. Sometimes people slashed the canon randomly or invented OCs, just for fun, but the history of slash is primarily one of a romantic reading of existing close male friendships. Conversely, I get frustrated by pure queer headcanons of het canon source texts lately, which seem to happen through a fundamentally different process than the way classic slash was done. There's a difference in approach between 'this is fun and/or it fits' (empathizing) and 'this is how it *should* be' (projecting). The latter would state that queerness is good and *therefore* a given canon character is queer (or a POC, or a different gender), even if the whole story is actually based heavily around a het romance (this is the case in 'The Scorpio Races'). That headcanon is thus absolutely independent of the text, and involves pure projection, often combined with a sort of pushy, moralistic bent. Suddenly, any tiny thing about the characterization that's not, I dunno, completely boring and meaningless is a 'queer sign' to be decoded; and of course that's fine, when there's actual queer-coding. It's just... sometimes there simply *isn't* any. One would need to transport themselves to a less ideal, less comfortable universe to appreciate that book. That's a worthwhile task, in my opinion, given the book is well-written and otherwise worthwhile.

It's worth meeting the story where it lives. To pretend there is coding where none exists would be to strip the text of its context and reduce it to a purely modern and 'good' or moral text that has a properly extensive and broad amount of representation. However, as a fan I'm all about appreciating what's there. If I can't, why would I even be a fan? Consequently, it's hard for me to relate to the idea of characters who 'deserve better'.

I realize I get a bit knee-jerky about it, which is ironic, I suppose, 'cause people I related to and was friends with in HP fandom said this about Draco Malfoy all the time. And I guess I try to excuse it and say Kavinsky isn't like Draco to *me* for various reasons, and not every antagonist or character is equivalent and they certainly don't all deserve the same things. I'm pretty blase about minor characters of any sort 'deserving' any more development, especially in narratives that don't rely on an ensemble cast or are otherwise telling a different story. I'm even relatively chill about the storylines of major characters not turning out how I wanted, or even how anyone would want. I'm not even talking about stuff like explicitly canon Johnlock; look, Gansey and Blue are the major het couple (and probably major couple, period) of The Raven Cycle, and Maggie Stiefvater said they still can't actually kiss at the end, 'cause it's still true that if she kisses her true love, he'd die. The problem you learned about on the first page is still there on the last page (so... worse than BBC Sherlock in that sense). Everyone in fandom hates that and rejects that reality to substitute their own, it seems-- except me. I'm okay with it (and it's kind of frustrating 'cause it's easy to feel pretty deeply isolated even among fellow shippers, 'cause literally *no* Blue/Gansey fan seems to accept what Stiefvater said).

It's not because I don't care about Bluesey (or Johnlock, obviously). I ship them both hardcore. You could say it's that I'm just... a huge canon-whore, more than like 95% of fandom, and that's true. But it's also true that I think I relate to fiction differently. Partly its that anyone who ships or likes Bluesey at all seems to want it to be happy and to get emotional satisfaction from canon. That's the 'warm fuzzy' orientation to stories, as Julad once wrote; I'm 'cold prickly' all the way. I'm cool with implicit resolutions and subtext. I'm also relatively cool with not being 'satisfied' directly at all, given it's not too bleak or depressing. Besides that, I generally don't project onto the characters; I *empathize*. I value their story, their needs and wishes. I accept that they are not me. I'm *interested* in that difference. So if they're satisfied by the end, I'm satisfied. I don't tell fictional characters what's supposed to be enough for them, you know?

Possibly, an even better example than the Bluesey kiss issue is how many people in the Raven Cycle fandom have said Blue 'should have' been gay, and either have been platonic with Gansey or have Gansey be a girl. Like, I've literally seen people claim they were 'robbed' (though perhaps a bit ironically). This sort of projection is not atypical of fandom attitudes; it's probably more correct to say it's actually typical, but this is an extreme case. Seeing canon Johnlock is obviously not the same as aggressively genderbending Gansey and then blaming the author for not doing that, because, well, the narrative itself supports Johnlock. It's not out of thin air or based entirely on wish fulfillment. However, *some* arguments aren't that different in kind, because naturally, fandom discourse is what it is, as is fandom in general.

Of course, you could argue that all this is splitting hairs (and I know it). It's certainly vaguely ironic 'cause you could certainly also argue certain critiques of BBC Sherlock I have sympathized with essentially say (not in so many words) that John and Sherlock's characters deserved better. How do I justify this?

First, just 'cause I sympathize and integrate other people's viewpoints doesn't mean it's my natural response. It's also different 'cause in BBC Sherlock, the story arc is deeply integrated with John and Sherlock's relationship. To the degree I do wish there was explicitly canon Johnlock, my concern is that the story wasn't all it could have been based on its own structure, not that my favorite romance or character got short shrift. But then, I can see how other people feel it's just a ship like their ship, and given they don't see the arc-- and the arc remained subtextual/implicit rather than part of the surface text-- I can't expect everyone to share my context or to read texts correctly when the show-runners (more or less) didn't read the (potential of the) text correctly either. Or at least, it certainly seems very possible at this point. At the same time, while I'm tempted to say JKR didn't read the potential of Draco Malfoy correctly, I certainly hesitate to do so, 'cause I really am a canon-whore to the end. There's definitely some cognitive dissonance involved here, 'cause people's favorite argument about Kavinsky in TDT is that Stiefvater didn't understand her antagonist's potential or read her own character correctly. And that upsets me! But how could I say this is true sometimes but not others, given I love all these stories and think these are great (if flawed) narratives.

I dunno if I really thought Draco Malfoy 'deserved better', and ditto for John and Sherlock, anyway. I don't really think in those terms, even if I sympathize. I think in terms of 'does this make sense' or 'does this work in context', and if it doesn't make sense at first, I try harder. I also just enjoy complexity in characterization, which generally involves some unresolved or even unresolvable threads... granted the narrative doesn't constantly set up a resolution (like Sherlock's constant tango with 'romantic entanglement'). In general, I like characters who struggle and make mistakes, without necessarily needing them to be overtly 'fixed' or corrected, though. I don't need, say, John Watson to always be admirable, or Sherlock Holmes to be the perfect consulting detective who really does value 'cold reason' above all other things. I think I just like characters that are *interesting*, storylines which are dramatic and unusual.

The major way I think characters 'deserve better' is if they're underutilized. A lot of people say this about, say, Noah Czerny in The Raven Cycle books, but he was a huge part of the plot! Huge. The only concern is that he didn't get a happy ending, even though, you know... dude is *dead*. It's too late. Sometimes there is no way out, and facts are facts: Noah is always dead. And sometimes there *is* another solution, but the author thinks the difficult one is more interesting, unexpected and creative: so Blue and Gansey still can't kiss after the end of TRK, and John Watson hit Sherlock even though he didn't absolutely *have* to in TLD. And sometimes, well, *sometimes* the story the writers are telling us is *really* not the story you may have wanted, and they take the characters in a nonsensical or unworkable or just-- badly executed direction. That's sort of what happened with BBC Mary Morstan, I think. Every character deserves to be written well, and the truth is that sometimes they... aren't. To be frank, usually I don't care if it's a minor character or the plot or character arc of the main characters is well enough served. I don't have the mental energy to care specifically about minor female characters just because they're female; the thing is, though, is that I don't particularly need to *project* onto female characters to feel at home. I don't feel like I need a female avatar in any given story, but especially if I'm fond of one of the leads. So for me, the question of how they treat Mary or Molly and how they treat, say, Anderson isn't that far off. Of course, as far as I can tell, this is atypical. By and large, people want to read about themselves, and by 'themselves' they mean... whatever is the next best thing to being literal.

I don't begrudge people this, really. I treat it as a fact. People's interest in fiction is mostly useful for them for very personal reasons... even escapist or fantasy/romance fiction, or perhaps *especially* that. Most fantasy fans seem to want to escape into a world where they exist and matter, as a general rule of thumb. A world where they are important, perhaps stronger, more beautiful or smarter than in reality, but.. present. To be clear: I've never felt like this. I've just wanted to escape into a place that was truly *different* and magical. Not that I didn't want to be powerful, but I just never felt particularly constrained by the facts of my actual life, except insofar as they were what I wanted to escape. In the end, those facts were boring and I'd easily forget them at the first opportunity. That said, there's a great variety of female characters with many of my personality traits in fantasy novels (INFPs are probably one of the most typical fantasy protagonists), so.... Who knows, I might feel differently if I was a fan of superhero comics, PC games or even just mainstream movies. I just... wasn't. You probably also get a different attitude reading epic fantasy than those comics or mostly watching TV at a formative age. Although I did watch sitcoms growing up, it wasn't anything I was invested in emotionally (I loved Star Trek, Buffy and X-Files, all of which obviously had strong female characters but also other kinds of characters). Maybe I was a bit spoiled.

Anyway, it is true that stuff like sitcom type shows on TV and superhero comics are obviously directed at certain audiences: there's a lot of sorting of titles by type of protagonist and expected audience. With hundreds of superhero titles, you start to want one for your 'team'. You don't really do that with epic fantasy. You just have the genre, and fun tropes within the genre... and a lot of generic Mary Sues, probably. With science fiction, the whole point is to mess with the established social customs and experiences in the Real World, so there's no point in transferring things wholesale. Everything is up for grabs by definition, though in retrospect I'd have definitely enjoyed if it was more gay.

In the end, I think it's clear that human subjectivity creates projection when imagination (and one's sense of self) is involved at all. Naturally, both these things are heavily involved in fiction. That's sort of a reflection of mirroring: the fundamental ability people have to mimic others' emotional states or body-language. I'm not entirely trying to fight windmills, nor do I wish to destroy this dynamic: I just think that empathy could fill the role of projection, and I personally would certainly enjoy fandom a lot more if it did. It would be great if people were more interested in characters (and other people!) for the ways in which they're different, but still *human*. What a wonderful world that would be. And, I admit, a more comfortable environment for me personally, with less cognitive dissonance to go around (not that this is anyone's concern but mine, of course).

For a concrete example of what would change with more emphasis on empathy, there would be less heteronormativity, I think, 'cause people wouldn't so strenuously project their own personal and cultural norms onto characters they like. On the other hand there would also be less yelling about headcanons on how a character is actually and/or 'should be' canonically queer/black/etc, and any dissent is unacceptable. Perhaps with a loosening of the bonds of heteronormativity, the need for such assertive pushback would be obviated. More fans could... relax, maybe. At least, I know I would. People are people, so there'll always be wank; I'm just talking about how *more* empathy chosen instead of projection would mean *less* fan conflict and heteronormativity, among other things.

I don't know *how* to actually positively support or encourage empathy rather than projection, aside from being in a teaching role with children, while their relationships with fiction are still forming. Nevertheless, I wish there was something I could do productively. As it is, I rant and ramble about this at intervals to let off steam, but I'd like to make a difference. I don't want to change human nature... but it'd be nice to encourage certain responses over others. To some degree, empathy is important in real life now more than ever before, since the world is so connected and so very tense about it. The question of 'how do we appreciate the Other without appropriating or dismissing?' is an important one, even if its fannish version is just one fangirl's eternal lament.

#fandom meta #pointless rambles #characterization #reader response #oh fandom #raven cycle #hp feels #draco love #sherlock feels #narrative #queer issues #bluesey ❤️#me myself and i

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