#but!! anyways!!! christmas fic in mid-january!!!

[apricusapollo]

golden days of yore (inspired by art heist baby by @otrtbs) is finally out!!!

[obliqueblade]

End of Season 9 + health update (kinda)

So, I finally got a chance to watch most of the Hermits videos about the end of season nine, just finished with Grians, and I was not anticipating that I would cry.

I did. An embarrassing amount.

Something that I haven't talked about in a while, is the recent really bad health crisis I had a few months ago. For those unaware, or who don't remember, I was diagnosed with a form of Lung Cancer almost three years ago.

A few months ago, one of my roommates, allowed her partner into our apartment knowing that they had Covid and didn't tell me or our other roommates. I got sick. Really sick. I don't want to go into too much detail, because it is not pleasant, but since then my doctors and I had to change almost everything about my treatment plan, but the major thing we were unsure of was how would it affect one of my upcoming surgeries.

Originally, this was set for mid-January, but my doctors wanted to run some more tests and make sure that I would be strong enough to undergo it. At the time in late October, they told me they would know for sure by December. And, a few days ago I got the call to go and meet with them.

I'm not strong enough.

Which, essentially means that without this surgery, all they are really going to be able to do is keep me comfortable until I pass.

Obviously, this sucks, and not at all how I had intended things to go. I've not told any of my family, mainly because I don't really know how to at this time. Tomorrow being Christmas it feels wrong to do it now, so I'll probably wait till after the holidays.

Do not worry, I am still making progress on the fic, as it isn't strenuous to do.

Anyway, I felt that I needed to write this with the end of the Hermitcraft season. I had only started watching Hermitcraft during season 8, not long after I had gotten my diagnosis. So season 9 was my first time watching a full season- start to end.

I think that might be one of the reasons I got so emotional towards the end. Realistically, depending on when they start season 10, I won't be alive to see it, let alone the end of it.

Obviously, I'm not saying "they need to start the new season now because I'm dying, and screw how burnt out you guys might feel". That would be ridiculous, and not the point I'm trying to make.

The Hermits introduced me to so much joy, such much creativity, and so much strength. The days I felt like were the end, were made so much brighter, because of the Hermits.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I probably wouldn't have made it through the past two years without them.

So, in the only way that I hopefully can with the time I have left, I want to complete this fic. I want to attribute something back to this amazing community, and the people that got me through so much.

Thank you, Hermitcraft, for making the last few years of my life feel like they were worth living.

[lululawrence]

lululawrence's January 2023 Fic List

Previous Fic Lists / Lulu’s List Podcast Masterpost

Happy 28th! Here are the 19 fics I read and loved during the last month. You'll notice I'm still finishing my Christmas reading, so let's just pretend it isn't so late in January as it is, shall we? And as always, be sure to show your love and appreciation for all of the hard work our fandom authors have put into their fics with kudos, nice comments, and (when applicable) reblogging their fic posts!

Mistletoe's For Two by @ireallysawanangel / crimsontheory (91k, E, Harry/Louis, Advent fic, enemies to lovers, fake dating, miscommunication, light angst, this fic was just so beyond charming and fun, i loved it so much, and from the beginning LOVED figuring out these characters, it was a great read and such fun enjoying as a WIP though i'm sure it's great all at once too haha)

love drunk, waiting on a miracle by @hellolovers13 / HelloLovers13 (30k, E, Harry/Louis, Advent fic, acquaintances to lovers, well, more like barista and customer to lovers, though that kinda happens at the beginning, and the focus is more on the development of their relationship, it's so sweet and fluffy and fast paced, it's a fun and lighthearted read that's got that festive spirit too)

Midnight by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything (11k, E, Harry/Louis, NYE fic, a/b/o dynamics, alpha Harry, omega Louis, friends to lovers, idiots in love, neighbors, there's more i wanna tag but it's kinda spoilery so I won't, I paused my Christmas reading for this, because everything about this fic is like crack to me, and as soon as I saw Lauren posted it and the tags and summary I had no choice, I had to read it immediately, and I regret absolutely nothing I loved it so very much, It was the perfect way to start the year for me lol)

Love This Christmas by @chloehl10 / lovelarry10 (68k, M, Harry/Louis, Advent fic, strangers to lovers, primary teacher Harry, teacher's assistant Louis, single parent Louis, pining, getting together, this fic was so much fun to read and I loved the details of the class and their working situation as well as outside of work the glimpses we got of their lives, and how it all just came together, this fic was adorable and sweet and i loved it)

Eyes on the Horizon by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright / yeah_alright (12k, E, Harry/Louis, Reverse Bang fic, age difference, older Harry, younger Louis, skydiving instructor Louis, Harry is having a bit of a mid-life crisis of sorts, he's just broken up with his long-term girlfriend, lost his job, and is coming up on a big birthday when he meets Louis, and he's so afraid of being a predator but ohhhhhhhh, he has NO need to worry about that hah, this fic was so incredibly fun and honestly quite educational about skydiving imo lol, but also so fucking hot it was SO good)

It's Thursday. Let's Get (un)Dressed. by @bananaheathen / bananaheathen (9k, E, Harry/Louis, NYE fic, tiktok, ootd tiktoker Harry, freshly broken up Louis, emotional hurt/comfort, Louis is pretty damn depressed which makes sense considering the situation, but he gets out of it and is okay!, genderfluid Harry, closeted Harry, this fic i'm kinda marveling at the fact it's only 9k because so many feelings and so much was put into it, it felt so much longer, and it takes up more space in my head and heart than I expected a 9k fic to be able to fill, but it's just, this fic is very important to me and i ADORE IT, SO MUCH, i keep thinking about this harry and louis as i'm going about my day sometimes, it's kinda ridiculous, anyway love love love and please read it and scream with me about how amazing it is thanks lol)

Wanted: Dog Walker by @louandhazaf / YesIsAWorld (6k, G, Harry/Louis, Reverse Bang fic, age difference, older Louis, younger Harry, silver fox Louis, dog walker Harry, neighbors, this fic is short and sweet and such fun, I love how Harry throws himself into walking Clifford, and how he and Louis start to develop a relationship with each other, it's very sweet and easy and honestly kind of precious)

Snow on the beach by @onlythesweet / onlytheclouds (9k, G, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, based on Hallmark movies in general, so it's exactly what you'd expect, the busy city guy spends his holidays with his family in a small, rural town, and gets off on the wrong foot with the town's darling, only for them to fall in love hehehe, and that's exactly what you get, featuring Louis as the city guy and Harry as the town's darling, this was such a sweet fic and had a lot of feelings mixed in it was lovely)

Odd Dogs by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (4k, G, Zayn/Niall, Christmas fic, strangers to lovers, dog rescue, lots of dogs but especially a very special and important idiot of a dog, we love her very much a lot hahaha, if you're familiar with Emmu's special quirky shorter fics then you know about what to expect, and yet this fic just somehow goes one up, and i seriously almost woke up sleeping members of my household because of my laughter and teh sounds I was making trying to hold it in, this fic just hit me in the funny bone in a very specific way and Emmu's humor was perfection here, very very sweet and fun fic)

While the Moon is Bright by @tommokat / tommokat (1k, T, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, girl direction, speed dating, meet cute, this fic was such a fun little snippet of their lives and I loved the hints of what might be to come that were sprinkled in too)

Baking Spirits Bright by @beelou / cherrylarry (2k, G, Liam/Harry, Christmas fic, youtuber Harry, established relationship, baking, well it's hot chocolate from scratch which is more cooking but that's fine, fluff, this fic was a pure and sugary confectionary treat to read, it was fun to see what their relationship was like and how fun it is for them too, you know?)

All I know is I'm in trouble ('cause the atmosphere's so cold) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same (8k, T, Harry/Louis, Zayn/Liam, Christmas fic, enemies to lovers, miscommunication, meet ugly, haha, skiing holiday, this fic was so good, I was trying so hard to figure out what exactly happened to make them so cold towards each other, especially when it was so obvious how much they loved their best friends and the fact their besties had fallen hard and fast, and then you learn and it's just, very sweet from there on out imo, this felt like a safe and soft space to hide out in for a bit)

'Sno(w) joke by @sun-tomato / SunTomato (6k, NR, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, snowstorm, stranded, in a library of all places hahaha, strangers to lovers, cuddling, this fic was just so sweet and easy, and Lewis was of course the silly side-bit character we all love him being, it was just overall a fun and kinda silly but also heartwarming fic)

Ho Ho Hopefully by @larrieblr / safetyfilm (5k, T, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, Harry is one of Santa's elves, Louis is a human he's been assigned to, pining, emotional hurt/comfort, strangers to lovers, this fic is so warm and tentative and sweet, and Louis is so lovely and exhausted and Harry just wants to adore him, it's so soft!!!)

Snow Squalls & Kitty Paws by @littleroverlouis / littleroverlouis (9k, G, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, cat cafe, cat cafe owners Louis and Zayn, pining, snow storm, snowed in, acquaintances to lovers, this fic was so fun and such a joy to read, i loved reading it so much and it was like a hidden safe place i just happened on, it was so sweet)

If you ever feel alone (Don't) by @beardyboyzx / beardyboyzx (10k, G, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, this fic is so heavy and sad almost but also so heartwarming?, Louis is clearly depressed and stressed and it makes sense why he's feeling that way, but also his friends are trying so hard to make sure he knows he's still loved and wanted, and so appreciative of the efforts he's able to make you know?, it's just, this fic was so lovely i adored it)

Louis' "Harry" Christmas by @chai-hat-tea / The_Halcyonic_Lachesist (10k, M, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, friends to lovers, idiots in love, hurt/comfort, like literal hurt, Louis injures himself and Harry cares for him, it's so very sweet, but also Harry's family helps them realize how stupid they've been, because they've basically been in a relationship without even realizing it lolll, i love it so much)

Mistletoe Cove by @wabadabadaba / wabadabadaba (5k, G, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, snowmen competition, strangers to lovers, this fic is so sweet and I love how it's based almost entirely around the snowmen they're trying to build, but they still manage to flirt despite that, it's so fun and silly and lighthearted)

The Elf who Saved Christmas by @ladyaj-13 / LadyAJ_13 (3k, G, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, strangers to lovers, older brother Louis, Harry works at a Santa setup at the mall, and Louis doesn't know the rules about appointments, and it's so very cute, Harry and Niall are so funny but also I would imagine risking getting into trouble, but also I almost cried out of relief when they did what they did for Louis, I loved reading about how sweet they were without even knowing Louis!)

[holllandtrash]

Congrats on 3K followers! Very much deserved. I'm a new follower and was curious to know the story behind your blog (how long youve had it for and how you started out/transitioned into f1) only if you want to share your story of course (:

sit down and get some popcorn babes, here is my life story

Back story, I’ve been writing fanfiction since 2011, I started on quotev (If anyone remembers that) and it was solely 1D fanfics also i was way too fcking young to be writing fanfiction

I started this blog in like mid 2016 and it was mainly an mcu blog (cough cough Tom Holland/Peter Parker) and I wrote a lot of one shots and more on here, but that where the name ‘holllandtrash’ comes from :’)

I took a break from writing fanfic from like mid 2018-2020 bc I started school, moved across the country, dropped out of school, moved back home, went back to school, thought I was in love yadda yadda but I sort of fell out of writing during that time or if I did write, I would never post it

Oh but what happened in 2020 ??? Pandemic !!!! AND the 10 year anniversary of one direction so I actually started to get back into 1d fanfic writing (didn’t post any of it) but I fell back in love with fanfiction while I was stuck at home

I also fell in love w Harry Potter again and then I started a wattpad like mid 2020 and wrote a few HP fics on there that are horribly long and one of them isn’t even completed yet BUT that was most of my 2021, hp, tik tok, wattpad and school

That leads me to falling in love with F1 early in 2022 (I’m a new fan) and honestly for the entirety of last year I was still writing my Harry Potter fics, (shoutout to Elusive & Burn) I was in school up until May, had a full time job after that (still have it), broke up w my ex 💅 decided to save up to move across the world (still working on that part) but everything was going good up until December of 2022

I stopped writing because Christmas is always chaotic for me and my family and work was stupid busy and i was planning a 3 week trip for January and then I got back from that trip and suffered from a burst fucking eardrum of all things so I couldn’t work and i was stuck at home I was lonely and had no motivation

And then one day in February, still with the HP fanfic on hold bc I just couldnt bring myself to write it, I decided to log onto my good ol tumblr and what do I see but some F1 stuff and I’m like oh this is lovely (bc the season hadn’t started yet and i missed the drivers) and one of the first things I saw was a social media au and I was like hey wait…I could do that...

So I did and the Pierre smau (worlds collide) was my first ever piece of f1 writing- if you can even call it that, but then I was hooked. I stuck with the smau’s for the most part for the first few weeks but it was a really good transition to actually writing one shots and eventually back into chaptered fics

I wish I had liked or reblogged that first social media au I saw because it really jump started me back into writing after taking almost three months off

anyway now I am writing when I can, splitting my time between Tumblr and trying to write a real book. My Harry Potter fic on wattpad is still on hold and I would like to go back to it but it’s hard. But this platform really pushed me to just focus on what i love and all of the kind and supportive messages from followers like you remind me why I love to write, I want to write for other people, I want people to feel the things that I feel, even if just for a short amount of time

i'll try to publish a book one day but man writing is fucking hard so who knows

if u made it this far, thank u for reading all of this xoxo

[onekisstotakewithme]

👻💡💋❤️ if you haven't answered them!

👻 Have you written holiday-themed fics? If yes, which is your fave? If not, what’s one holiday you’d want to write for, and which character(s) would the fic be for?

I have!!! I have written holiday-themed fics for multiple fandoms, but I will specifically highlight one that I like particularly, that I posted like. at the very END of Christmas Day and I still feel kind of dumb about it, I was working throughout the whole day trying to get it done...

Also we all need more New Year's Eve fics, romantic holiday... and Christmas is my favourite holiday so it's a mainstay in what holidays I write for. Anyway.

"and gie's a hand o' thine" is my MASH Christmas fic - Christmas 1956 in Maine (BJ/Peg/Hawkeye, Charles/Donna, and a bit of tasteful Margaret/Honoria near the end) full of Christmas goodies. Technically part of "Home" verse but can be read as a standalone.

💡 What’s the weirdest thing you’ve been inspired by?

Back in January, I was scrolling through... God, I don't even know why i was looking through different pages on US Presidents, mid-January, and then saw that Gerald Ford died right after Christmas in 2006. Being the conniving writer that I am, I decided I could exploit that in a TWW fic (there is a whole episode about presidents attending each others' funerals already), and somehow that blossomed into a whole story about the transition between presidencies, and it ended up being 66k - None of Us are More Than Caretakers.

💋 Fuck marry kill 3 of your own fics (asker’s choice of fics).

hm... Marry "etymology" (romantic, gooey, etc. would probably buy me flowers.)

Fuck "well-oiled machine" (it's hunnicutt porn. nuff said.)

Kill "In the Fields of France" (not because it's a bad fic, just would've been a better idea for a multi-chap!)

❤️ Who is your favorite character to write for and why?

For M*A*S*H, any member of the triad, but mostly Hawkeye and Peg - Love Hawkeye's neuroses, they're infinitely relatable, and also i just LOVE fleshing out Peg as a character (it's also always a fun challenge getting in BJ's head, like he's just some guy! what's going on in there??)

For TWW, it's definitely CJ. I love her so much. Also her life, job, relationships and headspace will never NOT be so good to me.

[reitziluz]

(maybe not so) quick notice about shit-all

essentially, i'm going to do the rewrite that i've been stopping myself from doing for over three years.

"oh no it'll never get done, it'll stop me from actually writing new material, the chapters are already published and you can't edit published material" - fuck all that noise. i've actually been held back from writing new material because i've had to devote so much brain power to stop myself from thinking about all the tweaks i'd like to do to solve the problems that are stopping me from writing rn.

and, writing tip, when you get stuck, the problem is often way farther back than you think it might be. for me, it's mainly chapter 22, "sweet things", because the whole emotional logic and everything collapses and breaks there. so i'll need to edit/rewrite at least chapter 22 anyway, so might as well work on the rest too, right?

a couple key points (spoilers start to drop)

i started writing shit-all when the broccoli arc was not even halfway done, iirc.

i had already built dimple as a key player in the fic so at the time i just called it an au and a day

i absolutely detest writing for ongoing series and never have done it before mp100

the reason for 3 is because once again the canon concluded into a beautiful whole that actually serves some delicious bits that would make the fic stronger and i 100% would have incorporated them into the fic IF I HAD ONLY KNOWN ABOUT THEM BEFORE

i also wish i had realized that no actually, the end of mp100 has a pretty clear timeline

separation arc is around reigen's birthday, 10/10. the culture festival is most likely on november 3th on culture day. the memories in ch 98 are made on new year's eve/morning, but at the start of it winter holidays (dec 25 to jan 7) are starting "soon" and it's stated to be a little over a month since dimple disappeared.

so broccoli arc happened mid to late november.

AS YOU KNOW THERE'S MULTIPLE CHAPTERS OF SHIT-ALL THAT HAPPEN ON CHRISTMAS EVE FAIRLY EARLY ON

the entire focus on christmas was purely a bit i committed to way hard and couldn't back out. i'm not that big on christmas. i just wanted to enjoy how it's more of a romantic couple's holiday in japan than the family holiday in my culture.

the christmas chapters end on ch 12

the best spot with the LEAST adjustments needed for the maximum impact for dimple to beef it is between chapters 15 and 16 and even that necessitates an awkwardly long jump in time during a very tumultuous time in the fic to make the rest of the timeline work too (because the final arc happens in january, because tsubomi moving is one of the announcements the teacher does as they've returend from the winter break, and she's stated to be moving "within the month", and that all happens in ch 21)

the lucky part is that this gives me an excuse to edit out the christmas stuff. or not even edit it out, but to move especially some of the feelsy headcanons for reigen to strenghten some later chapters instead (for example, to bring some oomph to the end of ch 19). chapter 18 would get the biggest hit, but i also could lift the haunted house scene and drop it right into ch 22, and it would practically fix all my problems with that chapter.

i've... honestly already mapped out all this in a spreadsheet. it is a fucking nightmare of 100K to rewrite, but also i already tested out rewriting the first scene of the first chapter, and it's pretty damn fast and easy work. i know that by ch 5 i'll have to start straightening up the timeline, and the fic will lose some of its wintery charm (which already was me projecting the long winters i experience onto a place that has different shit going on), but it feels pretty manageable. again, it's not like i'm making any forward progress anyway without doing this, and when i'm working on my own projects, i have in the past just started again from the beginning when i've gotten stuck at 50K or whatever.

the question remains, how do i want to do this? currenlty i'm thinking about starting out posting the chapters as i finish them (while also redrawing some old art too maybe) until the changes in actual content got too jarring. like, probably would do the christmas chapters as one batch etc.

i probably will just edit the descriptions etc over on ao3 to inform people there about what's going on, until hopefully i'll finally get to post ch 25 and there'll be a giant author's note about holy shit please take this chance to reread the work a lot changed

... honestly, best case scenario, it'll be a fun rereading opportunity on all fronts fhgsdhdfsh

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

The Pack: Silent Night, Holy Night

Summary- 3.6k Alpha Steve Rogers x Little One!Reader. Its your first Christmas with Steve. Preparing the tree you picked, Steve falls in love with the holiday once more. 

Warnings- soft smut and feels shared between you two. 

A/N- I know we are in mid January, but this fic was started for the Holiday Challenge Sage and I had going. And no entry is to late, so here’s some Christmas feels for those that might be going through with drawls. Much Love always. Happy Reading. 🐺❄️

Your boots crunched through the snow as you followed after Steve, the two of you had walked rows of trees trying to find one for the cabin. It was the first Christmas you have been able to actually celebrate and once Steve put two and two together, he was sure to go all out in a way he hadn't done himself in years. 

So today was tree picking day, and it had to be a wild fresh cut tree. Not one from the lot in town, that had been perfectly manicured through its life to be the perfect shape. Of course Steve offered that for you, but you were insistent. No it had to be a tree from home, just as wild and imperfect as you two were. You would know when you saw it. 

“What about this one Y/N?” Steve came to a stop, and you tilted your head, looking up at it. It looked full, maybe a bit bigger than the living room it was going into but Steve could easily trim it down to size. You were about to say yes when a head popped out of the top branches, chattering in a scolding manner at the two of you that had you shaking your head. 

“It's the chipmunks home.” You said firmly and Steve snorted a bit, folding his arms over his chest. 

“We’re saying no to the perfect tree cause of that?” 

“Yup. Let's keep looking.” You started in which the Little Wolf was rolling laughing inside of you at the expression of disbelief you left on the Alphas face. 

He glanced up at the tippy top of the branches where the chipmunk stared him down. “You're lucky it's me and not the Wolf, he make a snack out of you.” 

The chipmunk seemed thoroughly unimpressed and darted back down into the branches. Turning to follow your trail, Steve really couldn't be that upset you bypassed it. Truth be told, he was thoroughly enjoying himself this holiday. 

You had managed to dig out some of the old decorations he had stored away, careful with them in case any were fragile. You two had spent one evening going through them, you asking questions about them, where they came from, was there a story behind them. Some made it out into the garbage, memories Steve didn't want to carry anymore. You didn't push for a reason why. Just accepting that they no longer had a place at home. 

Then you two went about decorating the front of the house. You shimmied up the ladder to sit on the roof and help strand the lights along the edge while he used the ladder. Streaming lights that looked like blue and white icicles were stretched along the porch and once finished you two sat on the roof for a few moments while it got dark, admiring what others had done from the higher vantage. “Think Santa come find us Alpha?” You teased him while your head laid on his shoulder. 

“Were lit right up Little One, if he can’t then he's not doing his job.” Steve teased back before tilting his head back to go from the Christmas lights to the stars starting to dart into sight above them. 

“And what do you want for Christmas Steve?” You asked, in which he tightened his arm around your shoulders and dropped his mouth to your temple, pressing his lips there. 

“I already have what I want.” His Wolf could do nothing but agree. You chuckled softly and nudged at him. 

“Come on, I really want to know Alpha.” 

The night he came back late from the lumberyard, you were baking cookies. And not just any cookies, you had managed to find his mothers gingerbread cookie recipe in one of the cupboards and was busy decorating them with so much concentration you hadn't noticed him come inside. The tip of your tongue bitten between your teeth, brows furrowed as you filled in the top of the cookie with icing. He managed to sneak up behind you, arms circling you as you yelped and jumped a bit, Steve laughing deep from his chest as he pressed a kiss to your mark. “Sorry, what are you doing that requires so much concentration?” 

You tried using your fingers to smooth out the icing on Frosty, but it just wasn’t happening. “Frosty is just gonna have three eyes instead of two I guess. Making cookies, but I don't know. Do you deserve them?” you teased him with a wiggle of your brows at your mate.

Steve arched a brow and let his hands fall to the curve of your ass, giving a firm squeeze. “Probably not, but you will give me a taste anyways.” 

You try hiding your grin, but it's hard. You glance at the messed up cookie in your hand and squint at it. “This looks… exactly like you.” Then you sunk your teeth into the moist gingerbread, proceeding to bite off his head, which made Steve tilt his head back and howl with laughter. 

“Should I take that as a promise or a threat Little One?” 

“We will see later tonight, now let me finish these cookies!” You pushed him away gently while stuffing the rest of the gingerbread man in his mouth. 

All of them just adding up to fill his life in the most unlikely of ways. All these moments could be felt in your bond. He was happy, because you were happy. It was like a soothing balm in his soul. The heaviness he had always experienced was simply gone when he was with you, connected with you. The Wolf was happily settled with your Little Wolf every chance he could. Both of them traveling the expanses of their human sides. 

You finally paused, brushing your hands along a branch and tugging at it gently. It was slightly crooked, some gaps in the branches where the tree hasn't grown perfectly. You circled it once while Steve waited for your answer and when you stopped back in the front, you turned, beaming at him. 

“It's perfect.” 

Later that night You were carefully hanging ornaments, Steve had done the lights just so and was helping you fill out the gaps with twinkling lights, shiny balls you had picked up shopping with Sara and strands of tinsel to make it that much more festive. You step back, hands to hips looking at the tree while Steve closes the last box on the coffee table and moves up behind you. Tucking you under his chin and looking at the tree as well while wrapping you in his arms. “Our first Christmas tree is beautiful Little One.” He said softly, swaying slightly to the sounds of the radio playing Christmas tunes from the kitchen. 

He could feel you lean back into his chest, your hands sliding along his arms wrapped around you till you were mimicking hugging yourself as well. The room had such a relaxing ambiance in the glow of the Christmas tree with its twinkling decorations lighting up the room in a soft glow. It even spilled out onto the deck, making the slow glisten just a bit. “It really is Alpha.” You tilt your head enough to nuzzle under his jaw. 

The Little Wolf pushed past the barrier to meet with the Alpha, tangling around him affectionately to settle in with him for the night. Curled around one another as they both laid down, nibbling and nuzzling one another quietly. 

Steve inhaled along your neck, letting himself drown in your warm scent that was tinged with that fresh snow scent. Clean and hinting on a cold sensation. The cider you had sipped from earlier with a tinge of fireball whiskey in it still lingered. Which Steve wanted more of it, more of tasting it heatedly on your lips. 

You could feel Steve's fingers twist into your sweater you were wearing, the slight nips along the curve of your neck while he softly rumbled from his chest. “I got you something.” He pressed the words against your shoulder and then loosened to pull away. You spun at the loss of contact which Steve held up a finger. “Wait, right here Little One.” 

You stalled reaching for him, biting your lip. “You have something for me?” You asked softly in a bit of surprise and Steve nodded, a grin forming. 

“Be right back.” He stepped back and went down the hallway out of sight. Once he was gone, you breathed out and turned back to the tree, your head tilting as you could feel the moment filling you. It was something you had never thought you would get to experience, Christmas wasn’t celebrated at your old Pack. It was just another long winter day trying to survive. 

Now it was filled with everything Steve could think of to do. You were dragged from your thoughts when you heard Steve come back in with a gentle request. Doing his best not to command you as he knew you hated choices taken away from you. 

“Can you close your eyes Little One?” He went back to his spot, pressing behind you and rubbing your hip with one hand. 

“Okay Steve, they are closed.” You assured him, and waited patiently, a held breath of anticipation burning in your lungs till you could feel him whisper in your ear while tracing the side of your face with the tip of his nose. 

“Okay, open them up my Little Wolf.” 

Which you did and dangling from his fingers was a frosted glass snowflake, dangling back and forth in which you reached for it, letting the delicate piece sit in your palm. “Steve… I love it.” You trace the patterns so gently that you were barely touching them, and stepped forward looking around before you went to your tiptoes, higher on the tree and slipped the ribbon around a branch, the blue light placed behind it playing the snowflake in a way that made you think of the winter winds sweeping over the lake outside. 

Falling back into Steve’s hold, the two of you admired the way your tree had come together. Steve dropped to whisper in your ear soon enough. “Know what I want to see in the future? A couple youngin’s decorating the tree all in one spot, so we have to fix it later when they are asleep.” 

You bit your lip while letting that image cross your mind. “What do you say we work on making that happen Alpha?” You twisted and pushed on his shirt, pushing him back to the couch. He didn't put up any kind of fight, letting you push him down to a sit on the middle cushion with a rather turned on look at you. 

You move to stand between his legs, his hands slip up along the back of your thighs and cusp under your ass cheeks through your sleep shorts while your hand slide along the sides of his jaw, his beard making your palms tingle while he pulls you into his lap, straddling him with light nips to his lips. “While we are discussing making that happen. What's a good number.” He teased while sliding his hands under your sweatshirt, his favorite one that had their logging business logo on the front. You moaned while pulling away, and he was quick to get it off you and tossed to the side. 

The glow of the tree lights illuminated you for him, his fingers dipping along the small of your back while tugging you in close to nip the tops of your breasts while his fingers found your bra clasp and drew it off of you as efficiently as the sweatshirt. 

You let your head tilt back to enjoy the sensation of Steve's mouth fondling your chest. Holding onto the back of his neck while he teased you with his mouth, swirling a pebbled nipple with his tongue, he gave a pull to draw it into his mouth, making you growl softly in pleasure and your mind fog over while trying to think of his question. “I know you Alpha.” He gave another rolling twist with his tongue that caused another shudder to roll through you. “You are gonna want a whole mess of them aren't you?” 

Steve continued on, soft bites turning into a lavished lick between your cleavage till he tilted towards your other one, his hand massaging with squeezes, his palm was so warm against you. “Only if you want that as well Little One.” He pulled away with a slow pull, letting himself lean back against the couch. His hands covered your breasts, fondling them while you started to rock your hips against him, clearly rubbing your aching cunt against his hard on straining the front of his sweatpants now. His nostrils flared, drawing in the scent of your arousal. Thick swallows bobbed his adam’s apple as he wanted to take a taste of you, but not as much as he wanted his cock in you. “What do you want?” 

Your gaze dropped to his, and for a moment you were at a loss as your fingers gripped his shoulders. It was hard to really consider it at the moment as all you could think about was his hard on pressing against you and how wet you already were for him. How could he expect you to think at a time like this, it was clearly unfair and you bit on your bottom lip while sliding your hands against his chest, digging in slightly against his pecs to leverage yourself against him. “Umm, a few? Lets try for one and see how that goes?” You whimpered out while he took hold of your hips and started moving you in a way that really satisfied you, the right amount of pressure driving you wild. Already you were drenching through your shorts to the front of his pants, not to mention your inner thighs, your folds dripping with slick for him. 

“I am good with a few.” Steve nipped at your collarbone when he leaned forward, lavishing his tongue in a trail to leave his scent soaking into your skin, further marking you as his. There was nothing more that he craved than filling you with his pups, seeing your belly swell while his babies were safely tucked inside until they were ready to join the world. His fingers dug in possessively and he ached even harder at the thought of filling you with his seed. You smelled so good and were so soft in his arms. He could spend a lifetime just loving you like this, lost in the moment with the Christmas lights glowing softly behind you, illuminating you while you arched back getting lost as his hands rocked your body back and forth against his thigh and aching erection. 

Your hands slide down his chest and abs, your senses all heightened with the Little Wolf right at the surface while loving Steve. You tug gently at his sweatpants band and reach in to circle around his throbbing member, easing it out. Your Alpha hissed at the feeling of your hands gliding up and down his shaft, velvet smooth and thick in your palms. You knew he was feeling good at the way his head dropped back against the couch and his hands stilled from moving you. Deep groans would roll from him when you cupped his balls, tugging slightly and rolling them in your fingers. “I want that Steve, to carry your pups.” You confess, giving one last stroke to his cock before pulling away to stand, and your hips shimmy to pull down your sleep shorts and discard them. His own hand replaced where yours left off, tightening once in a while to hold himself in check while his eyes roamed up and down your body, perfection in his eyes. 

“Then let me fill you up Little One.” He growled out while reaching for your naked body, easing you back to straddle his lap, kneeling above him while he slid his cock through your heated swollen folds and when you felt his swollen tip press against your entrance, you sunk onto him slowly with a jaw dropping sharp inhale at stretching around your mate. 

Steve fought the urge to slide himself fully into your heat, your velvet welcoming walls fluttering tightly around him as he opened you. Made for him, the way you took him and he swore it took the very air from him to see your face screw up a moment and go slack with relief once you were settled on him. He heard you whimper as you rolled your hips. Steve knew you were feeling him completely and clenching around him in need. His hands roved up and down your back while you started to move yourself, arching up and sinking back down, Steve matched your slow pace with an upwards roll of his hips, matching your effort. This was a slow lovemaking, no rush to finish but just enjoy one another intimately. 

Your hands roamed up and down Steve's chest and slid around to clasp your hands around his neck, leaning into Steve to catch his lips. Moaning against his mouth while his tongue filled your mouth, lapping back at him. Your fingers curled into his hair at the back of his head, arching into his chest to rub yourself against him while he sucked on your tongue, twisting your head to break from him panting while he flushed kisses down your neck. His teeth sinking into the curved hollow between your neck and shoulder as he grasped your hips and pulled you fully onto him. 

Your forehead pressed against his, gasping as Steve took over. Dragging his cock through your fluttering channel, making the knot in your stomach tighten heatedly. Your eyes lifted towards his, which were lust blown and studying you so intently watching how you were coming undone. You whined out with his next roll, feeling his cock hit you in all the right places. “You know how much I love you Steve” You panted out, twisting your face to rub against the side of his face whimpering. His hand slid up your back and grasped the back of your neck to lift your head back up to look at him. 

“I can feel it Little One in the way you're loving me right now.” He nipped at your lips with a deep growl, his fingers massaging the back of your neck while holding you in place, listening to those tiny growls and whimpers you were giving him in the soft glow of Christmas lights. “So beautiful right now Little One.” He whispered to you while grinding you against his groin. “Loving your alpha so sweetly, so trusting. I can't wait for the day you become my pups mother.” Losing his hand on his hip, he dipped between your thighs and slid fingers around where you two were joined, gathering arousal to drench your clit while rubbing in circles. 

“Oh god Alpha.” Your voice pitched with the tingles racing along your body and Steve had you where he wanted you. 

“I love you too my Omega… come with me.” He demanded, his own rush tightening his chest and heated through his body with tense muscles. You started breaking apart in the way he loved seeing you. It was the most raw form of yourself, no words could describe the way you cried his name sounded to him, or the roaring growl he gave as he painted you full of him, his knot swelling to lock you together. Steve pulled you into his chest while you shook out your orgasm, blissed out feeling yourself so full with him and you curled up into his chest while he rubbed deeply at your back and over your hips, his face buried in against your neck while inhaling deeply. Warm honeysuckle mixed with your satisfaction wafted through him, as much as he had marked you, you had marked him as well. 

You two stayed like that for several moments, in the quiet of the night in just the glow of the tree lights. You were the first to stir, brushing a hand through his hair that made Steve hum against your neck before shifting back to lean against the couch and you eased up a bit to look at him. “You okay Little One?” He asked softly and you gave a nod, sighing with satisfaction still feeling his knot stretching you. It would be a while before you could move off his lap his time. Not that you minded, you were quite comfortable staying right there with him. 

“Always with you Alpha.” you settled back into him, and he loosely circled his arms around you to rub your still shivering back. Remnants of your passion, but he still reached for an afghan draped over back of the couch and spread it over the two of you. He nuzzled the side of your head, brushing your hair back off your neck to flush possessive kisses against your mark. “Best Christmas I've had in a long time, Little One. You've been my greatest gift.” 

You hid your smile for a moment, letting his words sink in. Your Little Wolf crooned in pleasure while swirling into the Alpha's embrace, the two wolves sharing love bites against the muzzles and rubbing against one another in a mates dance. 

The bond between you two radiated each other's bliss, forming a stronger connection with each passing day. The evening slipped well into the night before you two pulled away from each other. Steve turning on the radio in the kitchen to turn up the soft Christmas music tunes while you tugged your sweater back on. 

Once he approached you again, you thought he was gonna scoop you up to go to bed, but he weaved his fingers with yours and swayed slowly in front of your first shared Christmas tree, sharing whispered ‘I love you’s’ and nips of playful kisses until you led him to the bedroom for the night. You insisted on leaving the tree illuminated through the night. 

Any wolves passing on the frozen lake could see the glow playing on the snow falling heavily, muffling any noises and encasing there part of the world in silence.  

[bruh-haikyuu]

A/N: Timeskip Lev make me go BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF AAARF ARF. P.S: For double the experience, read while listening to this

diapason. | haiba lev

summary: in which lev meets you again and you develop some sort of warm reconnection with your past underclassman. (Continuation of this fic)

word count: 4402

warnings: manga spoilers!!

(n.) a full, rich outpouring of melodious sound

Vienna, Austria. January 2022.

The Danube Canal in mid-winter reminds you of a lot of things:

The Shakujii River flanked with its timeless parade of cherry blossom trees. Christmas celebrations spent at home with your family, popping bottles of soda and whining about misshapen gifts. Your piano recitals played in utter devotion, like the winter would never end.

You’re a long, long way away from home, and you start to hope if anyone is missing you. If there’s a hole in your figure carved into someone’s heart back in Japan or some place in the other side of the world—

What am I thinking... you sigh, bashfully urging yourself to keep on walking.

Nestling deeper into the warmth of your wool scarf, you wonder if it’s the cold ambience of the night that’s making you feel all sappy. Twinkling lights, murmured chatter from late-night cafés, the occasional gust of wind against your cheeks. You never thought you’d get so nostalgic on your “vacation”, but perhaps you’re just like any other hopeless romantic.

“Come to Vienna! A whirlwind of budding love!”

You’d read that advertisement in one of the catalogues your symphony’s personnel manager had excitedly dumped into your lap the day she announced your personal invitation to spectate the Vienna Philharmonic live a few weeks ago. You didn’t think much of the slogan, but even so... you have to admit you’re a tad bit lonely, aren’t you?

You can barely remember a moment where you didn’t feel lonely. You had your family at home, but you’d considered it your fault for being such a shut-in for the most part of your life. The neighborhood kids weren’t exactly the nicest people. And school life hadn’t been much of an improvement either.

Of course, until him.

A colossal first year stumbling into the desolate Orchestra Club room, with a mouth just as big as his stature. Haiba Lev who had been anxiously lost that day you’d met. With such little sense of direction, you can’t help but laugh at how much times he’d managed to find you in that maze of your high school.

He’d find you, talk to you, laugh with you. And you’d never felt all the rushing feelings you’d felt when you were with this dewy-eyed boy. He was the perfect image of confidence—radiant, ambitious and all the more charming.

If only you can thank him. Your hero of sorts. Haiba Lev who poured into you all the faith he had so you could move forward—

“A-ah, excuse me?”

Whipping your head into the direction of the choppy English, a seething blush rises onto your cheeks when you zero in to the large camera lens pointed right at you.

The bearded man speaks again. “Eh... you’re Japanese, aren’t you? Sorry, but we’re having a photoshoot right now, and you’re in the way of our model. Could you maybe...”

Oh dear, you frazzle. Prostrating yourself incessantly at the camera crew, you blunder. “I’m v-very sorry! Waah, I must’ve ruined your picture!”

“It’s fine,” the man smiles kindly. “Things like this often happen anyway. Ain’t that right, Hafu-sama?”

The lean figure behind you laughs, and for a second, you feel your chest flutter in your throat when you hear him. “Yep! Don’t worry about it, Miss—”

You really wish you hadn’t turned around because the moment your eyes locked with a pair of emeralds, you swear that your heart leapt out of your chest. All feeling of chilliness lamented, you feel red heat stretching out across your skin.

“H-Haiba-kun?!”

Unable to keep your footing steady, a stagnant lump rises in your throat when the familiar man grins at you with galaxies in his eyes.

“Fairy-senpai!!”

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Tokyo, Japan. October 2012.

“Senpai!”

Footsteps echoing down the corridor, a wave of frightened third years part to let the gigantic creature of a first year through. Haiba Lev, age 16, is excited. Haiba Lev, 194.3 centimeters tall, is burning with so much resolve that he pays no heed to the Discipline Committee member who is resentfully yelling at him to “stop running in the hallways, you hoodlum!”

But who could blame him?

When you turn around and jolt in surprise, Lev drowns in the tiny fairies that flutter in his chest.

“Haiba-kun? What are you doing here?” you take a moment to register his full presence—considering his substantial size, Lev would probably understand your current disposition.

Finally, you whisper in a low tone, highly aware of the crowd that’s pivoting towards your conversation. “... Did you get lost again?”

“Of course not!” Lev replies rather gruffly. “I wanted to look for you to give you this so I can thank you for when I got lost.”

Thrusting a daintily wrapped bento towards you, the tall boy is rather unabashed about the entire situation—lace cloth and all. There’s a fragrant steam seeping out from the gaps of the box, spooling and wafting (and you think your ears pick up the noise of someone’s rumbling stomach).

You’d thought of spending your lunch alone in your club room, or maybe even the rooftop if you were up for it... like the usual. But the moment Lev starts talking again, you completely forget the idea as a whole.

Innocently grinning, he asks, “Do you want to eat lunch together, L/N-senpai?”

How could you say no?

And thus, here you are in the courtyard with a titan first-year who is nearly twice your size, jovially chattering about as you quietly eat your lunch.

When was the last time you ate something so cute? Your parents stopped making you character bentos since you got into middle school (“Aah... sorry, Y/N. Dad’s hands aren’t as artistic as they used to be,” your father had told you that day, an utter look of guilt dancing across his face). You weren’t too confident in your own skills either, so bentos with endearing faces and shaped cut-outs of vegetables were simply a fragmented piece of the past.

First-years today are so talented, you think, shoveling down your meal in sheer politeness. “This is delicious, Haiba-kun! The chicken is so tender and the rice is so well-seasoned! I wish I had your sense for cooking...”

“My sister made it, actually. I tried to help her cut the eggs, but it ended up being a mess and she told me to just sit and wait in the dining room,” he replies sheepishly, a bubble of laughter slipping from between his lips. “I’m glad you like it though, Senpai! Just wait ‘til my sister hears about your reaction!”

“Does your sister always make your lunches for you?” you ask, curiosity subduing your reserve.

Lev takes a moment to swallow the lump of rice in his mouth.

“Mm, sometimes. If she’s not having a lecture in the morning, she’ll make breakfast. Otherwise, the teriyaki set at the cafeteria is just as good!”

Cafeteria. You shiver. That hellhole of shoving and scrambling and incessant talking... You’re thankful the school had decided to set up a few more vending machines close to campus when you entered your second year.

And then you think of Lev. With that extreme height and intimidating presence, he wouldn’t have to put his foot on the line every time he wanted melon bread, right? And he is definitely the type of person to be able to talk to the loud cafeteria lady without dropping his change.

Confidence. Recklessness. Bliss. All the prime features you wanted, right in front of you—and yet...

“Hey, L/N-senpai?” you snap awake from your thoughts. A dash of concern flashes over your underclassman’s features before he repeats his muted question. “Can I have one of your sausages?”

Peering down at the cluster of uneaten octopus sausages, you quickly nod, face reddening once you realize how close Lev is breathing near you. “G-Go ahead.”

Chirping out a “thank you for the food!”, the silver-haired boy swoops down on a miniature octopus, a sound of immense satisfaction humming in his chest. He’s like a child, you laugh to yourself. A young boy with no sense of care of the world, no concern of what’s going to happen to him unless he really does it.

Leaning back on the bench, you sigh, a smile dawning on your face. “You didn’t have to force yourself to eat lunch with me, you know. I usually eat by myself anyway.”

You’re being apologetic again. You want to punch yourself for even thinking of it. But your habit precedes your intentions, and you can already feel the mood turn sour—

“Why not though?”

Looking up at him incredulously, you can barely string together a coherent response before Lev pipes up again.

“Isn’t food always best when eaten together?”

How pretentious.

There are already valleys of flowers blooming in your stomach at his innocent reply. The same kind that sprouted the day he’d burst into your private practice room. You really hoped you wouldn’t get ahead of yourself anymore. Not with the risks that it carried. But this guileless first year was a much more difficult case than you’d imagined, and thus the flowers go into full blossom.

You smile, the faint blush on Lev’s cheeks going unnoticed. “Yeah. We should eat together more often.”

And so you did. Tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. The passage of time a trivial shadow beneath your budding happiness.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Vienna, Austria. January 2022.

“You work in a symphony?! Senpai’s job is super cool!”

Under the amber light of the cafe’s chandelier, you can’t help but feel a certain déjà vu at your current situation. Perhaps it’s the fact that you’re having tea with your high school underclassman, or maybe it’s simply the residue of your more recent wistful thinking.

Yet again, it still hasn’t registered into your mind how you’d miraculously manifested Lev into proximity just from your sheer yearning... You kind of feel selfish.

“It’s just a freelance job though, it’s probably not as impressive as being a model,” you say.

Lev crosses his arms huffily, and you worry if you’ve started to offend him. Until he opens his mouth again. “Modelling is suuuper embarassing. Sometimes, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that ‘that’s my face!’ or ‘I made that pose with that other model’. The agency’s really harsh on the way I dress too—I mean, what’s wrong with wearing a shirt that says ‘HERBIVORE’ to go to Lawson’s?”

You stifle a giggle as he rambles on about “the time I had to cross-dress as a woman because the female model quit on the day of the shoot”. For someone who had grown up to be a lean, rather attractive figure, you can’t shake your head away from the thought that the 16-year old Haiba Lev is still stuck inside the body of a corporate slave. There’s a sense of relief that accompanies the feeling, and memories of your high school days slowly come into picture—

“One black tea and a latte for the lovely couple?” a kind-looking waiter gently sidles in between you, cutting Lev off from his rant, and you from your reflection.

Turning a vivid shade of crimson, you stutter, “O-oh... we are not—”

“Thank you,” Lev grins dashingly, enough to make your heart race and a few passers-by to stop in their tracks.

Once the waiter retreats back into the pantry, the man across you slowly leans forward to whisper endearingly. “My sister wants me to practice my English while I’m abroad. You think I got my message across, Senpai?”

“You did well, Haiba-kun.” There are a lot of things you want to ask him really. If he really knew the meaning behind the waiter’s sentence. Or if he realized he’d nearly pronounced ‘you’ with an extra ‘th’.

... Or why he’s pouring in a mound of sugar into your cup of tea.

“H-Haiba-kun, that order’s mine...”

“Hm? Yeah, I know,” he mutters, the soft clinking of the spoon against glass echoing in your head. “You like your stuff really sweet, right? Man, I used to be really worried the first few times we had tea together.”

That’s right, you gulp. The endless hours you’d spent together in the Orchestra Club room... he really did learn a lot of things about you that time, didn’t he? Although you had merely been friends, Lev had grown on you, as if he’d always been there from the start. And you wonder: what else does he remember about you?

“Ah, by the way,” Lev starts. “Are you still thinking about setting up that music store you wanted?”

“Of course,” you mumble. It was only a naïve dream was what you meant to say, but in the presence of such a captivating man, all the gears in your head seemed to... dislocate.

Lev smiles a simple smile. Boyish at best, but still enough to enrapture you into his lingering gaze.

“I’m glad.... I’m glad you haven’t given up. You know, the old L/N-senpai would’ve called it quits because you thought you weren’t good enough. But look at you now! Soon enough, you’ll be off to teach music to the world.”

Your heart is already doubling in size at his words. Any more and you’d probably explode... You’d lost it. You’ve lost all the capability to keep your heart in control, and now you are smiling like a maniac in front of the last person you wanted to see in this state.

But he only laughs. Youthful and full of color. Unchanging from all those years ago.

“Wahahaha! You finally smiled! We should celebrate, you know. Just a small holiday from all that hard work. Say... are you still going to be in Vienna in the weekend?”

“I’m free on those days. But what’s all this about?”

Hiding his bashful smirk behind his cup of coffee, Lev murmurs. “We have some catching up to do, don’t we—Uwaah! Hot!”

Unchanging indeed, you shake your head, calling over the waiter for an extra set of napkins.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Tokyo, Japan. February 2013.

There is a tea party set stashed between the two cardboard boxes filled with sheet music and spare melodicas. They’ve been left behind by your graduated seniors, who insisted that tea, “as the prime component to a good host”, was to be kept in the club room at all times, case there were any visiting guests.

...Of course, such things never happened. And you always ended up drinking the tea by yourselves. But even with the departure of your beloved seniors, you can never shake off the habit of drinking and restocking the supplies whenever required.

So you wonder if you should really be thanking your tea-loving upperclassmen for the free beverages.

“That’s a lot of sugar!” Lev gasps in awe, the emeralds in his eyes twisting and shining with the cascade of crystals falling into your cup of tea. “I bet you have a lot of cavities in your mouth, Senpai.”

“I brush my teeth very well so I don’t think anything like that’s every happened to me,” you say, irritably trying to ignore the tactless comment from your starry-eyed underclassman. “It’s been a while since you’ve been in my club room, hasn’t it? I’m glad you didn’t get lost trying to get here.”

He grumbles, crossing his arms in faux-anger. “Geez! I won’t get lost like that so easily! Besides...”

Lev takes a moment to drink in the warmth of the club room’s solace. The grand piano in the corner. The orange light streaming through the open curtains. Your curious face, like something out of a fairytale book.

“This place is full of good memories, isn’t it? I don’t think I’ll ever forget something like that.”

You chuckle at his monologue. “You sound like my grandfather, Haiba-kun.”

Lev’s face warps into something reminiscent of a prune.

“Senpai, we’re only two years apart!” he fumes. “You didn’t invite me here just to crush my self-esteem, right?! C-Come on, aren’t you going to show me the audition piece you wanted me to hear?”

There is a burning urge inside of you that’s telling you to “pull at his leg just a little more...”, but nevertheless, the artist within you says to keep your audience at bay. And so, the curtains open and your fingers dance on familiar keys.

You’ve played for him before. Songs like ‘Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy’ or ‘Ma Mère L’oye’. Songs that you love, much like the one you’re performing for him right now. But you’re shaking in your seat. Wondering, anticipating, fearing.

He’s staring so much, you bite your lip, trying to avert your focus from Lev’s unbreakable gaze.

A single spectator wracks your brain even more than a theatre full of different kinds people—enthusiasts, university scouts, onlookers. But in your dismal, little club room, there is only your underclassman. Someone who knows nothing of music, but lacks so much knowledge that you know any of his critique would come from honesty alone.

...Why do you care so much about one person’s opinion?

You don’t realize how long you’ve been pondering until your train of thought is abruptly thwarted by the end of your song. You finish on a satisfying note and your endearing onlooker suddenly springs on his feet to shower you in applause.

“What the heck—that was so cool! I’ve never seen anyone play like that before!” Lev stumbles, everything and anything he’d planned to say pouring out as a blubbering mess as your face grows hotter from the attention. “Senpai, you’ll definitely pass the audition if you play just like that.”

“Y-You really think so?” he’s probably just being nice, you think. But for a spare moment, could you simply imagine that he means every word?

“I know so!” he smiles, the palpitations in your chest growing intense by the second. “You just have to keep going, won’t you?”

Even if you’re not brave enough to believe it, you want to believe that there’s a single Haiba Lev in this unyielding universe who believes that you, a mere side character who wishes for more, can and will.

You feel invincible.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Vienna, Austria. January 2022.

Did you know that swans mate for life? As a symbol of love and affection, they’re widely known to curve their necks together in a shape of a heart when courting. A form of elegance at its finest... until they start hissing.

“They’re so big! Senpai, come take a look at the swans!”

Folding the brochure into a tiny square, you return to your companion’s side, peering over the railings of the bridge to catch a glimpse of the thrush of white feathers down below.

You gulp. They are much larger than you expected.

“They’re surprisingly loud, aren’t they?” you mutter, watching a cygnet waddle its way out of the water onto the banks of the canal. You didn’t want to say, but it slightly reminded you of Lev the first time he’d waddled his way into the the Orchestra Club room.

With the constant squawking of the swans, the both of you find yourself in silence. For you, at least, the past two days viewing all sorts of Austrian sights with Lev had been strangely more gratifying than you’d fathomed. Lev, who’d been as excitable as he’d always been, breathes in peace, plumes of white forming from his mouth.

“This weekend’s been nice, hasn’t it?” you break the silence, observing the smooth junctures of his face. Lev turns to you slowly, his voice squeezing out.

“Don’t say that.”

Your blood freezes. “What?”

“Saying things like that...” Lev sighs wilfully and turns back to the view of the canal. He frowns. “I don’t want to think that this weekend is going to be over soon.”

You want to cry out. Me too. Me too, me too, me too. Your entire body is so full of butterflies you want to double over and pass out. But he continues.

“Travelling and talking with you is so fun, I never want it to end... It’s kind of embarrassing,” he says, eyes sparkling. “D-Do you think so too? Am I a selfish person for thinking that?”

You shake your head. “It’s not embarrassing, Haiba-kun. I—”

Are you red? Are you blushing? Your face feels so hot, you can’t even finish your sentence. He’s so close. So close to you. You want to be reliable, you want to reply, but you can’t. Under his bewitching gaze, you’ve fallen so deep.

When Lev opens his mouth again, it’s like everything around you—the bridge, the people, the swans have entirely vanished. “L/N-senpai, c-can I tell you something? Something I wanted to tell you for a long time.”

Eh?

“I’ve always liked you, Senpai. I really, really like you.”

Blank. Your mind goes blank, even when you whisper a small, “Really?”

You’re happy, you’re so happy you want to jump and shout to the world that you love him. Awfully. Dearly. It’s all like a train had crashed into you headfirst, and you can’t settle on a proper response before the floodgates burst open.

“Wh-Whoa! Don’t cry!” he flails his arms in panic as more tears dribble down your cheeks. “Geez, Senpai, at least reply to me first...”

“Sorry. I’m sorry,” you laugh, wiping your eyes with the edges of your scarf. “I’m just so happy, I didn’t know how to react.”

Lev’s chest inflates for a moment before he lunges forward to encapsulate you in his embrace. Between the persistent layers of clothing, the beating of his heart resonates deeply against your face. It’s quick and lively, warm enough to remind you of the swirled feelings that you harbor for one another.

“Oh, thank god...” Lev grins, burying his face in your shoulder. “You feel the same way...”

Humming calmly into his ear, you revel in the closure. “I really, really like you too, Haiba-kun.”

And none of you lets go—save for when a swan makes its way up to the bridge to peck at Lev’s boots.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Tokyo, Japan. March 2023.

“... Lev, wake up.”

Feeling a slight nudge on his cheek, Lev tethers over opening his eyes to wonder at your beautiful smile or bury his face even deeper into the sheets.

It’s not like he didn’t favor you, but as of now, the comforts of your shared bed was more important. And thus, Haiba Lev, age 26, shrouds himself under the plush duvet and focuses himself on the sweet dream he was having about you.

“Lev, I know you can hear me...” he hears you sigh, long and airy, just enough to lull him back to sleep. “You have a fitting today, don’t you? You’re going to trouble Matsuyo-san and Alisa-nee if you arrive late.”

Isn’t that on Thursday? Actually... what day is it today? He isn’t very good with dates and formalities—that’s why he considers himself lucky to have you! A cute lover to bring him back to land during the day, and to shower with love and to cuddle with during the evening.

Yawning widely, Lev owlishly wrenches his eyes open, the crystalline sunlight from the bedroom window illuminating your face like a halo.... and was that his shirt you were wearing?

Lucky me~ he grins goofily.

Pressing his lips together, Lev pulls you by the wrist and before you can avoid the sudden attack, you’ve collapsed once more into a tangled mess of limbs and crooked sheets, with your boyfriend’s arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

“Let’s just stay in bed today, Y/N-san~” he slurs, nuzzling closer to you. How catlike, you think. “I want to be lovey-dovey and kissy-kissy again...”

He yawns again, a few stray tresses of silver falling over his face. As if he wasn’t as attractive every hour of the day, you really have learned how to take control of your extreme heart palpitations around him.

Your adorable younger boyfriend, ah... he really is your weakness, isn’t he?

“I’m really sorry, but I have to open up the shop soon,” you reluctantly peel yourself away from him, eliciting a small whimper from the Leviathan in your bed. “I’ll make it up to you when I finish teaching my evening lessons and when you come home, okay?”

Stubborn as a goat, Lev grumbles. “I’ll come back early, you know. Can you not do your evening lessons today?”

“Hm? Why not?” your raised eyebrow is cynical, but is juxtaposed by the gentle strokes of your palm on the crown of his head.

As much as Lev loves you (he does, he really does!), it’s rather annoying when he can’t tell if you’re seriously being oblivious or simply teasing him. He hopes for neither, but in his case, you’re an addict to his gags and without a doubt, you’re definitely messing with him right now.

“Those damn brats... I don’t like the way they stare you up during your classes.”

You laugh, raucously. And Lev considers leaving you to catch a break from the constant jeering. When you finally pipe down, you shift closer to him and press your head onto his bare chest.

“Lev, they’re nine. How else are they going to learn to play if they don’t watch me do it first?” you chuckle. “You shouldn’t worry so much about me. You should be worrying about that fitting you have in a few hours.”

“Geez, fine,” he groans. “A kiss before I shower?”

You know exactly where this is going. “Just one.”

Lighting up like a Christmas tree, Lev makes quick work of his hands and tenderly cup your cheek before placing a timid kiss on your lips.

No morning breath, you notice. As expected of a professional model.

“One more...” he whispers, swooping down on your lips once again.

Two, three and maybe seven kisses later, Lev has you caged between his arms, his looming figure propped proudly over you as he continues to pepper you with affection. The moment he starts to lap up your bottom lip, you know you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.

“It’s so early, Y/N-san,” he mumbles, pleading eyes making your heart turn to jelly. “We have a few more hours before we really have to go, don’t we? So... in the meantime...?”

Sighing, you can only turn a deep red—he really has you around his finger, doesn’t he? Oh well. You suppose it won’t hurt to push back your morning lessons for a few minutes, right?

[xaviersfandomwriting]

The Importance of First Impressions

Or: How Remus Got Himself Kidnapped, Like An Idiot.

Hoo boy. This is, or rather was supposed to be my gift for @arc-gx for the @sanderssidesgiftxchange for this past Christmas. I’m sorry for taking this long to get it out, I just kept putting it off and putting it off and all of a sudden it’s mid-January like wtf… Anyway, they asked for Logan angst or intrulogical and I figured “why not both?” and here we are. Again, super sorry this is almost a month late, but here you go. This is actually the first fanfic that I’ve ever actually finished, so any tips are greatly appreciated!

Word Count: 1120

Summary: When a royal wedding is disrupted by tragedy, Roman must go forth and rescue his brother, but does Remus really want to be saved?

Pairings: romantic intrulogical, familial creativitwins

Warnings: Homophobia (being forced into a het marriage), unsympathetic Logan (but it’s just acting dw), minor innuendo, major character near-death, general angst (most of it’s just Roman being dramatic tho)

Today was supposed to be one of celebration, of merriment! The crown prince was to be married, and to the princess of an incredibly powerful neighboring kingdom, one which Prince Remus was to rule over, once the day comes. At least, that was the plan. Tragedy had struck, the prince had been kidnapped by a dark mage, and was being held hostage. Naturally, Prince Roman, being the proud and chivalrous young man that he was, immediately volunteered to lead a mission to rescue his brother. It was only now, as he approached the dark tower which had loomed along the horizon for the entirety of Roman’s travels, that he began to have second thoughts about the advisability of this mission.

He had started this quest with 10 of the kingdom’s greatest knights, only for each to either meet his end or turn around and head home, leaving the prince alone in his journey. He tactfully approached the entrance, checking for any sign of magical traps. Thankfully there were none to be found, and he soon found himself standing in the center of a massive entrance hall.

“Face me, magician!” he bellowed into the empty building. Though he was at first only met with a fading echo, soon enough a deep chuckling ricocheted throughout the chamber, the shadows seeming to bend together into a human form at the top of the ornate staircase across the hall.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting yet more royal blood to enter my domain,” the sorcerer’s hands burst alight with blue flame, brightly illuminating the previously dim room, “did you come here, all on your own, in some vain attempt to ‘rescue’ your brother? How delightfully lamentable. Soon you’ll be disposed of in much the same way he was.”

Roman charged for the stairs, only for the sorcerer to disappear once more. Likewise, the shadows of the room began to pool beneath the prince, forming a swirling mass beneath his feet just before giving way, sending him falling through an inky void. Not for long, however, as soon another such portal formed pulling Roman back to the tower, though he now found himself leaning against the parapets for support, easily hundreds of feet above the entrance hall he stood in only moments before. Before him stood his quarry, an indigo staff materializing in his hands, glowing with arcane energy.

Roman leapt forward, driving his sword toward the man who kidnapped his brother, only for the mage to easily deflect the blade with his staff. He deftly leapt backwards, only for Roman to charge forward again, feinting a similar attack, only to thrust his pommel into the sorcerer’s gut and sweep his leg beneath him.

The spellcaster was caught off guard by the sudden move and found himself on the ground with the tip of the prince’s blade pressed against his windpipe before he could react.

Roman glowered at the man before him. “Give me one good reason not to run my blade through your throat, slime.”

The magician’s eyes widened at his words, he made to scramble backwards, only for the blade to follow until his head knocked against the stone wall of the parapets. “I… You- I-” she stammered, gulping.

The prince raised his blade, ready to end this pitiful excuse for a dark mage until a voice cried out from the stairwell into the tower. “ROMAN, NO! STOP!”

The sound of his brother’s voice made the prince drop his blade in shock. He whipped around to see the crown prince, looking just as resplendent as the day he was kidnapped. He ran between his brother and the sorcerer, ready to protect his captor.

“Remus I- wha-” Now Roman found himself unable to form words. “What in the name of all things good and gay in this land is going on?”

“Well, this might take a little bit of explanation...” Remus failed to meet his brother’s eyes for a moment. “I may have… staged my own kidnapping? With Logan’s help?”

Roman looked aghast “You what?” staged his own kidnapping? How- why- so many questions swirled through the younger prince’s head as he fell to his knees. “I- I don’t… understand.”

“It’s quite simple, actually.” The sorcerer, Logan, had stood back up, dusting himself off. “Your brother asked me to deliver him from the castle to, as I believe he put it ‘get out of that damn nasty het marriage mom and dad are trying to force me into for the good of the kingdom or some dumb crap’, and I simply had to play the part of evil sorcerer in order to scare off any would-be knights in shining armor. I must say, it was rather entertaining. Not to mention some of the… other benefits.” the previously stoic man shot the crown prince a sly look.

“Oh my stars, please don’t. I have to put up with that sort of talk enough whenever he’s around.” Roman looked away from the two, his face growing several shades redder. “So, Remus doesn’t want to come back. But I can’t exactly go home empty handed, what am I supposed to say, ‘Oh I’m sorry guys turns out the prince just noped out of here! Sorry, better luck next monarch!’ I mean I might have to take up the crown at this point, and it’s not exactly as if I could pass off as straight or anything. Mom and Dad aren’t gonna be happy, whatever happens.”

“Well, that doesn’t have to necessarily be the case.” Logan’s hands glowed, producing a large bucket filled with ash. “Here’s what you should do...”

“And so, the prince solemnly returned to the capital, bringing back word that his older brother had perished by the sorcerer’s doing. Roman had dispatched the magician himself, but it was too late for the crown prince. In light of his sorrow over the events which took place, as well as his lack of preparedness, Roman chose to abdicate the throne, leading to a succession crisis lasting nearly a decade. The former prince secluded himself from public life, never really seen in public again. Secretly, he had fled the kingdom not long after his abdication, making a name for himself as a valiant knight. As for his brother, he and the magician who he had asked to kidnap him lived a peaceful, happy life together. The end.”

“Jeez bro, you wrote a whole fairy tale fic just to ship me and Logic?” Remus dangled down from the top bunk of their shared bed in the mindscape.

“...shut up” Roman snatched the leatherbound book from his twin, putting it alongside all the other “side fics” that were never meant to see the light of day, even if Remus kept finding them.

[strangcrdoctor]

∞Yes hello! It’s me, ya boi.

So, uh. Hi folks. What a fucking season.

Here’s the scoop on where I’ve been and what is up. So as you know from my previous update, I’ve been home with the Yeti Fam for the last couple months which has gone both well and... badly. On the upside my gran is doing better health wise, I finished my term and got all my papers in, and have spent a lot of really wonderful time with my mom being Christmasy as all get out. If I consider this trip as a prolonged visit for her, it’s a resounding success.

With my dad, however, it’s a total fucking failure. So I will have been home for more than 9 weeks by the time I head back to NYC on the 9th, and because of his fucking shit decisions I will have spent no more than a week and a half with him out of all of that. He did go down to Denver right at Christmas for a week (like we were all advised not to, but, you know, his needs are more important), and got back on Christmas Day. As if him thinking he doesn’t need to quarantine is bad enough, all of my step-mum’s grandkids and her son and daughter in law got COVID a week ago, and we were supposed to have dinner with them the Sunday after Christmas. (Again, in spite of that being a horrible idea...) Naturally they cancelled those plans, but now my dad and step-mum are gung-ho for seeing the kids the day they are done with their 10 day quarantine on the 30th. So I had to quarantine for 2 weeks because I was in an airport, my dad doesn’t have to quarantine at all in spite of also having been in an airport, and now they want to go spend time in a COVID positive household the day they’re done with mandatory quarantine. And he’s pulling this shit the week before I leave. So if he goes to see them, he’s squandered the last of our time together because I refuse to see him. Especially because I have to get tested 3 days before my departure to NYC, and be totally asymptomatic to travel.

Anyway. I will miss my mom and it will be sad to say goodbye in a couple weeks, but we honestly made the most of our time together and it’s been wonderful. But I also really need to get back to my life because I’ve got so much to do. I’m still scared shitless about my savings running out and having to find work in the middle of the second wave in NYC, but staying here is moot.

All that aside, I’ve been ruminating on what I want to do about tumblr. Naturally I found it really hard to write while I was stressed mid-semester and also spending so much time with family, but after I finally got over my deep writer’s-funk/existential crisis, I have been spending more time writing creatively and enjoying the hell out of it. And my muse for Stephen is still alive and kicking, since what I’ve largely been working on is fic projects. 

But for a while I was considering - after 8 years of RPing on this platform - finally stepping away. I still might, but for the time being I’ve decided that as soon as I’m home - so after January 9th - I will be giving the RP writing another shot now that I’ll have a lot of time to myself again. I will be re-filling my queue to keep the account active until then, and will be collecting replies I’ve missed over the last couple of months. I’m sorry for being gone for so long, but the best I can offer is that I’m going to try again. I love you all regardless, and I hope to write with you again very soon.∞

[daisylincs]

AO3 Stats

Thanks for the tags, @loved-the-stars-too-fondly, @justanalto, @aleksandrachaev, @eowima and @everythingirl44! Oh hey look, a list of some of my very favourite people, and authors!! ily, guys, and thanks for thinking of me 😍😍💜

I officially joined AO3 and posted my first fic on the 22nd of May 2020, and have been too actively posting since then, coming in with a total of 47 works this year, in two fandoms. (Holy shit 🤣🤣😱) And the results of said "holy shit," apparently, we shall see below!

What are your five most popular works of all time? (starting with the most kudos)

time can break your heart, have you begging please with 132 kudos, 1133 hits (Agents of SHIELD, post-7x10 Dousy hurt/comfort)

my, my, just how much I missed you with 131 kudos, 1171 hits (Spider-Man: Tom Holland Movies, ten years post-Far From Home Peter and MJ meeting again in an airport)

square with 107 kudos, 959 hits (Agents of SHIELD, post-finale Dousy fluff)

mountains and valleys, and all that will come in between with 106 kudos, 1006 hits (Spider-Man: Tom Holland Movies, Spideychelle roadtrip and bed-sharing AU)

blue with 95 kudos, 849 hits (Agents of SHIELD, Daisy character study focusing on the colour blue)

What are your five least popular works? (starting with the least kudos)

peace with 9 kudos, 40 hits (Agents of SHIELD, Staticquake relationship study)

all I want for Christmas (is you) with 9 kudos, 52 hits (Agents of SHIELD, Dekesy Christmas Musical AU)

i just wanna be with you with 9 kudos, 70 hits (Agents of SHIELD, Staticquake Modern Royalty AU)

we wish you with 12 kudos, 58 hits (Agents of SHIELD, Staticquake & Fitzsimmons New Year fluff)

all the comforts of home with 12 kudos, 79 hits (Agents of SHIELD, post-canon Mackelena domestic fluff)

Are you surprised about any of these lists?

I'm always surprised by time can break your heart's popularity, lmao, because for a long time, I even completely forgot I wrote it 🤣🤣🙈 And it was cobbled together in like one hour on my daily train ride, too!! I was convinced it was crap at the time, but... apparently not, lol! Also, I suppose it's Dousy, which was SUPER popular mid-season 7. And as for the rest of my most popular things, well... I'm just flattered :D

Regarding the less popular stuff, well, I've only written oneshots, and often for rarer pairings, too, so I was never expecting HUGE amounts of kudos. Staticquake, Mackelena and Dekesy, for example, while I like all three of those ships very much, they're not the huuuuge ones in the fandom, so, RIP. 🥺 I adore and appreciate all my regular readers much more than words can say, though 🥰💜💜

Optional, if you want to calculate it (remember that ao3 will count all the words in a multichap towards the year it is completed, regardless of how much was actually posted that year): How many words did you publish in 2020?

Wellll, in my case, AO3 absolutely cannot lie to me, since the one and only year I have actually posted fic in was our friend 2020. So my total wordcount for this crazy year: 204317. *pause to almost drop phone* I'm sorry but HOLY SHIT, I what???? Unbloodybelievable 😱😱😱 in a good way, though!

What’s a favorite fic you published this year?

arghhhhhsgkldjgksaskldjfks I agree with Kat, asking me to choose one favourite fic is like asking me to pick my favourite child! But in the end, I think I'll have to call a tie between ever after, which is the single fic that I'm proudest of, and a VERY emotional post-finale Daisy character study; and you could call me babe for the weekend, which was a gargantuan labour of love in the form of a 19k Spideychelle fake dating AU.

How do you feel like you’ve improved as a writer this year?

Well, since this is my first year of actually writing fic, there's not much I can say here... I have become a lot more confident with what I put out there as compared to when I posted my first fics, though, so that's a good thing! :D

What is something new you did writing-wise in the past year? (new fandom, pairing, setting, genre, collab, etc)

Lolll, well, technically, everything?? I'm seriously someone who thought I'd NEVER write anything creatively again after passing my English A Level, so just the fact that I posted any fic is new to me.

A little more seriously, though, I'd say... polyships? They're something I wasn't against, per se, but would also never read or write personally. Until I met @bobbimorseisbisexual and their writing, though!! My entire stance has changed thanks to Al, and I now greatly enjoy both reading and writing polyship content.

In that vein, I like to think I've become a lot more accepting with what I'll read and write, ship-wise? I used to only write a very narrow few ships that I enjoy, and not broaden out at all - but through the course of this year, as I met more and more incredible writers and friends, with an equally incredible spectrum of likes, I gradually started reading for more and more ships, including some I'd never think of myself. Now, I'm proud to say that you can persuade me to read almost anything if it's well-written and the story shows me a way for the characters to fit together (with the exceptions being abusive/non-consensual, pedophilic or otherwise morally wrong things, but that, I do believe, is just general decency.) The same goes for me and writing, nowadays - if you ask nicely enough, I'll do pretty much anything. And honestly, I'm proud of me for that.

What is something writing-related you would like to try in the future? (check back at the end of the year and see if you did it!)

Oh, gosh, I'd LOVE to do a collab someday! I think it's SUCH a cool and unique challenge to write something with someone else, and I'd very much like to try it out one day. My wife has promised me we can try one someday, though with both our jobs, no idea when it'll ever actually happen... it's definitely on the wishlist, though!!

But it's not necessarily just with Kat, I'd be thrilled to do a collab with pretty much anyone, from any of my fandoms. Ahhh, I just think it's such an awesome goal, and it's definitely one of mine for 2021!

Today’s date, so you can see how your results might change if you do this again in a year.

3 January, 2020

I have been the laziest ass this weekend which is why I'm only getting to this challenge now instead of on the 1st someone please drag me away from my Netflix but doing this was actually super fun, and cool! And insane. Yup. So insane!!! Anyway, to join me in the fun-and-cool (but hopefully not insane, lolll) I tag @ohwriteiforgot, @apathbacktoyou, @springmagpies, @nazezdha321, @maybebrilliant, @the-9muses, @fitzsimmonkeys, @besidemethewholedamntime, @libbyweasley, @infinitestarsintheskye and @bobbimorseisbisexual! 🥰💜

[maximilff]

tagged by @tara-draws thank you 🥺

last song: gold rush by taylor swift

last movie: wonder woman 1984

currently reading: the client by john grisham and rereading harry potter and the order of the pheonix

currently watching: schitt's creek, star trek the next generation, whose line is it anyway, and rewatching criminal minds

currently working on: i started working on a jemily christmas fic but then felt bad about the fact that it's mid january already so i kind of abandoned it out of embarrassment? when is it too far past christmas to post a christmas fic asking for a friend

currently playing: this was vaguely worded so i'm gonna answer by saying i'm playing lots of animal crossing and overwatch

tagging (no pressure!!) @holdontilforevercomes @slytherinsqueen @luthortato @addisonsintern @guacas @queer-rambling @scandinavian-punk

[mynameseri]

An Ode to EriKite, an old flame

Note: Hiii, I hope you enjoy your Christmas fic even though it’s almost mid-January, I love you <333

“He’s here again, Eri~!” Your coworker sang as she walked past you, a hand tapping briefly on your shoulder as she went through the back.

You had been focusing for the past thirty minutes on icing a cake with intricate decorations, and with a final flourish, you signed the words, Happy Birthday, for the blessed kid who would get this cartoon-themed confection. Now that you had a moment to spare, you let out a sigh of satisfaction before removing your gloves and stepping out to meet your visitor.

Kite, tall and striking, was not difficult to spot at the front of the bakery, and his expression shifted from neutral to a slight smile as he saw you moving towards him. His arms uncrossed, making it easier for you to slip your hand into his and step out for just a brief moment to have a private conversation. 

“You’re early?” you teased. You wouldn’t be off work for the next hour and a half.

“I was excited to see you,” he replied quickly, pivoting to take your other hand so that you again stood directly before him. The gesture surprised you enough to bring the smallest bit of warmth to your cheeks as he wasn’t one to engage in public displays of affection. You hadn’t been together for very long but it was one of the few things you had picked up on quickly. 

It was rare to see Kite so eager, even if you were planning your very first weekend getaway for that very afternoon. You’d been working harder than usual that day expressly so that your mind wouldn’t wander too much and let anxiety set in while anticipating the things that could go wrong. What was he planning?

He went a step further, brushing his lips onto your forehead ever so slightly and tucking a stray lock of your dark hair behind your ear before letting you get back to work.

“I’ll see you in a little bit.”

Wrapping up at the end of your shift was quick, and having already changed into a comfortable set of clothing for the semi-lengthy drive ahead, you headed out to the parking lot to meet Kite. You weren’t sure if he’d waited the entire time, but the moment you came out, a roomy white SUV made its way to the front of the building.

Settling into the car’s comfortable leather seats, you wondered if Kite had more money than he let on, but when he started driving you paid less attention to the expensive-looking car and more on the wide open road opening before you. You weren’t too fond of participating in capitalism anyway.

Acoustic pop music underlay your many words describing your day, your week, everything down to the day you were born in detail. Kite drove fast but smoothly and looked at you reassuringly every so often, attentive, the same muted smile never completely leaving his expression.  

You talked briefly about your pets, especially the one that had forced your first meeting by veering off the path of the park and running straight into him, after which you met eyes and perhaps spirits.

Maybe that last part was too extreme. You didn’t want to fall too quickly after all. 

You stopped at a rest stop to fill up on sandwiches and drinks, and Kite told you more about growing up as an orphan, how he spent his days now, and what he did and didn’t do for a living. There was still an air of mystery around his daily life, so much left to unravel.

Your hands made their way into his hair, teasing the long white strands as he continued to drive.

By nightfall, you reached your destination -  a rustic and cozy-appearing log cabin in the quiet of a beautiful forest which proved to be a lot more technologically advanced and expansive as you had expected once you’d entered the premises.

Before you could even set your luggage down, he whisked you on a tour of the multi-level building which ended with the two of you locked face to face in a lover’s embrace in the simmer of an outdoors hot tub.

In each other’s arms, you found some comfort in the warmth of the water, the slight breeze of night in the mountains and the feel of his skin. 

Your legs straddled his waist as he sat and it took not very long for your lips to connect and hands to roam your skin. Heat rose as your passions did, and it wasn’t long before your panties were pushed aside to accept his length, and you rode him carefully and sensually.

His hands then roamed your chest and when his mouth parted reluctantly from yours, it found a home on each nipple, nipping and sucking softly. His fingers then traveled south and somehow the drag of the water didn’t stop his fingers from tapping your clit or rolling his hips against yours; the quiver of your body under his touch only excited him further.

High, high, high, you felt as you waded together in this fashion, your moans and whines cutting the air as you murmured his name and your body arched in pleasure.

When you orgasmed, you saw stars, but you later settled for Kite’s warm brown eyes under the moonlight.

His fingers trailed the curve of your jaw, traveling downwards to finally interlace with yours. Your lips were still parted, soft and yearning for a little more. And he would give you more, but first - 

“It takes me a lot to open up this much,” he whispered, his hands interlacing with yours. “It suddenly hit me when I found myself organizing all of this and feeling my heart race when I saw you.”

Your eyes widened ever so slightly, and his smile widened ever so slightly as he pulled you against him.

“I love you.”

The first of many.

-----------------------------------------

THE WAY I AM JUST SCREAMING RN MAE THIS IS SO PERFECT AHHHHH 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 The visuals, the details, everything is just *chefs kiss* BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!! I can’t even describe how happy this made me and how absolutely talented you are!!! I love you so so so much you are such an amazing person & friend and I am so blessed to have you in my life 💞💞💞💞💞

[lilymanaged]

just a little bit of your heart

hello its me, ya girl, back with fic

okay so this was originally supposed to be part of a longer fic, but I lost the motivation because I moved tf on (there was a boy, he sucked, I began to write, then I realized that he was not worth my energy so I stopped), but I really kinda like this bit so here is it! in the original fic, there was supposed to a redemption arc, but obviously that isn't going to happen. enjoy anyway!

AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~  

It started when she was fifteen.

She had known him before, of course - hard not to know someone who lives just across the common room from you, who was so visible at all times, who was so beloved by students and teachers alike. He was the star of the Quidditch team already, lapping the upperclassmen in skill and devotion. He was the top of the class, naturally smart and hardworking. He Was...and she Was Not. And that’s just the way it was.

Something had changed that day, mid-January, Charms classroom. It was bitterly cold outside, but the castle was warm and bright.

Maybe it was the light from the fire lit behind Professor Flitwick’s desk, or the snow falling gently outside the castle, or maybe Lily had just tilted her head to the perfect angle that her hair fell off her shoulder to reveal her neck in an appealing way, but he approached her as she was packing up her things, halting her movements. She looked at him, wide-eyed, and he smiled charmingly down at her.

“Hey,” James said, voice deep. She shivered. “I’m sorry to ask this of you, but I am really just not understanding mobility charms. You know, summoning, banishing, those kinds of things. Would you mind helping me out a bit later? You’re the only person here who seems to get it.”

Lily’s mouth responded before her brain could catch up. “And what’s in it for me? I don’t reveal my secrets for just anyone, and definitely not for free.”

He chuckled, eyes alight with mirth. “Name your price.”

Lily blushed, stepping back a little. He shifted his weight forward, almost following her, and watched intently as she gathered her books into her arms, pressing them against her chest tightly in a vague attempt to force her heart to slow.

“Flying lessons,” she said, shocking herself a little. “My secrets for yours.”

He nodded, stepping fully into her space. At this point, they were the only ones left in the classroom, the rest of the students on their way to lunch already.

“My secrets for yours,” he repeated, reaching out to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. “You’re dangerous, Red.” Lily’s eyes widened, staring up at him in disbelief. His gaze shifted downward, searching her face and causing her flush to deepen.

“Dangerous?” she replied, voice faint.

“Yeah,” he breathed, eyes locking with hers. “Dangerous. For me. I’ll see you later.”

With that, he stepped away, looking over her one more time before turning and exiting the classroom. Lily slumped back down to her stool, placing her books on the table and pressing her forehead to them. She struggled to catch her breath and slow her erratic heart, cursing James Potter mildly in her head, dreading what might happen later.

What she had originally written off as a minor crush, maybe a physical attraction, soon bloomed into full-blown infatuation. Their study sessions stopped being study sessions very quickly, turning into conversations that left Lily shaking slightly under his intense attention. James was nothing if not engrossed in everything she had to say, and she often felt herself losing focus when his eyes met hers, burning with curiosity or confusion. Although they never got anywhere with the flying, really, Lily felt herself being less reluctant to share her so-called secrets as time went on. As long as James kept looking at her that way, he could frankly have whatever he wanted from her.

Which is why, come March, she had given him almost every piece of her heart, despite his lack of asking nor any confessed desire for it. Lily would all but float up to her dorm after spending time with James, gushing to Marlene and Dorcas about every word he said, every time his hand brushed hers, while Mary looked on warily.

“Lily, has he asked you out?” she asked one day in April, eyebrows knit as she sat next to Lily on the window seat of their dorm. The turret looked out onto the grounds, and Lily was looking over the grass, eyes glazed over dreamily, ignoring the book situated in her lap. They were supposed to be studying for their upcoming exams in June.  

“Hmm?”

“James, Lily. Has he asked you out yet?” Mary continued, eyes searching Lily’s face.

Lily’s brows knit together, and her smile dropped a bit. “No, Mare. He hasn’t.”

“Why do you think that is?”

Lily shifted in her seat, refusing to meet Mary’s eyes. After a moment, she looked up, tears in her eyes. “I don’t know,” she replied, exasperated, voice thick. “I don’t know.”

Mary turned toward Lily, pulling her friend into her arms. She allowed Lily to cry, stroking her hair gently until the sobs subsided. After a while, Lily pulled away, standing up.

“I think I’m just going to go to bed. Can we study tomorrow?” Mary nodded, and Lily walked away. She climbed into bed, pulling the canopy curtains closed abruptly.

The next morning, Lily was hyper-aware of James, and actively forced herself to be positive around him, upbeat. He sat beside her at breakfast, laughing at all her snarky jokes and playing with the ends of her hair. She felt Mary’s eyes on her, and resolutely ignored her, choosing instead to focus on the positive: James was right beside her, and it felt like she was bathing in his warm glow. Internally, she felt pathetic, vying for any scrap of love he would throw her way, but she was also resolutely ignoring that feeling.

Lily was focusing on the positive.

She was positive that this was going to crush her when it was all over.

And then, everything was fine until it wasn’t. The next year passed in a blur, and nothing changed between them. Lily watched as James dated other people, anyone who wasn’t her, while still calling her his best girl, holding her close and yet an arm’s length away. She tells herself that he is scared - scared of the depth of emotion between them, the absolute understanding that exists when they look at one another. He calls her dangerous to him, a minx sent to drive him crazy, tells her that she’s worth a million of him, places her on a pedestal when all she wants is for him to reach over and take her, choose her, love her. And yet, he never does quite pick her.

A little after Christmas of their fifth year, Lily gets mad and starts to date too, fueled by a desire to show him how it feels, show him what he is missing. Bertram Aubrey, a Ravenclaw in the year above them, agrees to a date to Hogsmeade and, before she even realizes it, she actually starts to like him. Spending time with Aubrey takes her away from James, and the horrible, heartsick feeling he represents. Bert is kind to her, attentive, enjoys her company. And so, she lets it happen.

She is happy with Bert, she realises one day in early April. The feeling takes her aback — she didn’t know she would really feel happy with someone who wasn’t James — and she decides she likes it. She tells Bert, and he is elated, kissing her breathless in the hallway in front of everyone. She smiles brightly at him, and ignores the lingering sensation of guilt in the back of her mind.

And everything is fine, until it isn’t.

Because now, here she is, standing by the Lake after their Transfiguration OWL, staring James down. He’s laughing, and his friends laugh with him. Snape is shouting abuse, and then she is too, telling James to leave Severus alone.

He will, he says, smile widening as he looks at her. It’s a nice smile, and Lily’s heart beats a little faster when she sees it. She quickly admonishes herself, waiting for the punchline.

“....if you go out with me.”

She starts, face heating up, and the words hang in the air between them. He’s making fun of her, she realises, playing on the love that she keeps tucked away inside herself, Lily’s worst kept secret. Lily feels whatever is left of her heart inside her chest break, shatter into a million pieces right in front of his eyes, and shouts at him for the first time.

James stumbles back as if he had been smacked in the face, and Lily gets a little thrill in her chest at his shocked expression. She blacks out a little, emotions high as the exchange continues and Snape ends the last remote traces of their feeble friendship.

When she finally walks away, surface emotion a disgusted rage - at Snape, at James, and mostly at herself for thinking anything would ever change. She frantically makes her way all the way to her dorm, throwing herself on her bed, and unleashes all the pent up frustration and hurt. Her roommates return about a half hour later, presumably after hearing every detail of the big showdown, to the room absolutely trashed. Lily allowed the magic to flow through her, and it resulted in slashed curtains, broken pillows, shoes and clothes littering the floor. Mary and Emmeline curl themselves around her in her bed and Marlene and Dorcas put the room to rights, and Lily cries until she falls asleep. Later, when she looks back on that afternoon by the Lake, Lily recognizes it as the true end of her childhood — any lingering optimism or romantic hopes had shattered the moment her heart did.

[angst-in-space]

november ‘20 writing progress

total words written: 50.1k

most words written in a day: 3,024

least words written in a day: 268

current yearly total: 233,516

projects worked on:

- sylvix dreamscape fic - finished a draft of the sylvix christmas fic for the sylvix advent calendar event! - finished a draft of the klance hotel au! - worked on altea rising recap summary, and worked a tiny bit on chapter 19

november goals: - win nanowrimo?? lol - finish/submit final draft of my piece for long live zine (note: ok i only didn’t accomplish this bc it’s not due til mid-december, the deadline changed so lol) - finish a draft of the sylvix xmas fic - work on the sylvix dreamscape fic - finish (or at least work on) the kl hotel au?? - uhh at least finish the recap summary thing that i’m writing for altea rising? maybe if i feel extra spicy i’ll actually work on the actual fic lmfao (note: well, i didn’t FINISH the recap summary but i did want to note i worked on it a lot and only have like a chapter and a half left to summarize so YAY!) - perhaps do some more planning on my original story idk

december goals: - reach my yearly goal of writing 250k words....*sweats* - finish/submit final draft of piece for long live zine - finish editing and publish the sylvix xmas fic! - finish/publish [redacted] and [redacted] (two short secret things i’m working on, lol) - work some more on the sylvix dreamscape fic - finish the altea rising recap summary (and....maybe work a little on chapter 19 if i have time)

notes:

WELL UH.....that was certainly....a Month. there was a lot going on in the world, plus doing my part-time editing job, etc. etc. but i somehow managed to win nanowrimo?? which still doesn’t feel real to me, since i haven’t won in like....5 years. so i’m not really sure what possessed me to write so much but I DID IT and that was such a good feeling!

i finished two fics during november which i feel like is an all-time record lmao. but anyway, first of all i finished a draft of the klance hotel au that i started like...last summer, so i’m excited about that!! honestly not sure when i’m gonna publish it because i have three fics i need to publish this month already so uhhh might put that up in january, but we shall see!

i also finished a draft of the sylvix christmas fic, which i will be publishing on december 16th, so look out for that one!! it’s being beta’d right now and i will probs have to do a bit more editing but over all i’m quite excited about it and can’t wait to post it :’’)  other than that, i’d say most of my efforts went into the sylvix dreamscape fic. right now i think i’m like five(??) chapters into it, and saving up chapters so i can post them one by one on a somewhat regular schedule, but that might still not be for a month or two because i have several other things i need to post in the next few weeks anyway, lol. 

i also worked a ton on the altea rising recap summary which i’m almoooost done with, i just have like a chapter and a half left to summarize so *wheezes* i’m almost there... i also got a teensy bit of progress done on chapter 19 which is the first time i’ve worked on the actual fic in ages dkfdj. not rlly sure when i am going to start updating it again but....i do have a few more chapters of it done, they just need to be edited and whatnot. but idk it may still be a while (oh god it’s been like two years since i updated it huh....sobs violently). 

in addition to that.... i have two other fics i plan on publishing this month, both of which are Secret. one of them is for a fandom/pairing i’ve never written before but i’ve had a lot of fun writing it and i really look forward to publishing it when the time comes! the other is for a lil secret santa exchange and i only have a vague idea of what i’m writing for it but....AAAAH i think it will be fun to write!! 

so uh yeah december is gonna be a bit of a crunch for me bc i have three fics i need to publish, plus a piece i need to submit for a zine...*falls on the floor* but hey it will be cool to actually publish some things this month, so y’all can look forward to that! ;) 

[67-chevy-baby]

Remedy

Pairing - Jared x Reader

Tags - Slight angst, FLUFFFFFF, language, and I think that’s it.

Word Count -  2,664

Beta - @winecatsandpizza​

Fic Aesthetic - Yours truly

The Song I Chose - Off My Mind by Radio Company

Written for - @saxxxology​’s Vol 1 Writing Challenge

A/N - So, I couldn’t find much about Jared’s sister. I don’t think she’s married, but just so y’all know I made up Trent, Max, and Macee. Also, there may be a part 2 to this. It’s my first Jared fic, and I’m not sure I write him well. At any rate, I hope y’all enjoy it, and I especially hope you like this Saxxy. I really tried to make this good. :) 

To say you’d become a failure to your parents was an understatement. 

From the moment you dropped out of college to pursue your real dream, they’d cut all ties with you. Honestly, it didn’t come as a surprise considering all they seemed to care about was what they wanted you to succeed in. If it didn’t benefit them, then they weren’t interested.

Finally realizing their true intentions was the straw that broke the camel’s back. You packed what little belongings you had and left for Texas, leaving your home-town in Ohio behind in the rearview mirror. The beat-to-hell car you inherited lasted you until the outskirts of Dallas, so you decided to hole up in a hotel with the last bit of savings you had. 

After checking in and grabbing some snacks from the vending machine in the lobby, you headed to your room and splayed out on the bed. You scrolled through local jobs as you munched on a Snickers bar. Nothing really jumped out at you, but this wasn’t a time in your life where it was rational to be picky. If you were going to pursue becoming a singer, then you needed some cash to get you started. 

Nothing really piqued your interest around Dallas, so you decided to span your search further. After an hour of sifting through different job opportunities, you finally came across one that caught your eye. 

Full-Time Nanny in Avery Ranch Start Date: Mid-January 2020 Children ages: 5 and 2 months Hours/Rate: M-F 7:30am-5pm - $18/hr Serious Inquiries Only: (512)586-2463

Other than singing, babysitting your sister’s kids was something else you thoroughly enjoyed. Her husband had cheated on her, and they divorced soon after so you became a constant in their lives. Not that you weren’t before, but since you were a full-time student at the time you often watched them during your off time. 

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you called the number and waited. By the third ring, you were starting to get discouraged but then a woman’s cheerful voice answered. 

“Hello?” 

Talking on the phone was never a strong suit of yours. Especially not knowing who was on the other end, it always gave you anxiety. Taking a deep breath, you stammered out a response. 

“Um, h-hi. My name’s Y/N and I saw your add about the Nanny position. I’d like to apply if it’s still available.” 

You heard the woman clear her throat and some rustling before she came back on the line. 

“Hi, Y/N! My name's Megan. Yes, the position is still available! Can you come over tomorrow at noon? My husband and I would like to meet over coffee to get to know you a bit better before we introduce you to the children.” 

Well, you weren’t expecting that, but the desperate situation you were in won over the butterflies fluttering against your abdomen. 

“Y-Yeah! I can do that!” 

The warmth in the woman’s response was evident and it eased any doubts you had bouncing around in your head. 

“Great! We’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N. I’ll text you the address and feel free to wear something comfortable. Lord knows with two kids I won't be wearing my best dress."

You bid her goodbye and sighed into your pillow. Despite uprooting your life merely a day ago, things were starting to come together, and for once, you couldn't be happier. 

--------------------------------------------

Jared sighed as he walked through the airport. Another season of Supernatural wrapped and he was finally on his home turf again. The familiarity of the Texas air nipped his bare skin as he headed for the awaiting taxi. Tonight, he'd rest up and then tomorrow he'd go and see his siblings. 

The ride to his studio apartment was short, but it allowed him to send a few texts and emails anyway. He tipped the cab driver generously and took the elevator up to his floor. 

His apartment wasn't much, but it was enough for him. The entry area was small, bearing a hook on the wall to hang his keys, a closet for his coat and shoes, and a couple of light switches. Just off to the left was the living room. He had a black leather sectional and a nice entertainment center where he could watch the latest Cowboys game comfortably. The kitchen wasn't enormous, but he didn't need it to be. It had everything he needed and all the appliances were new enough. His bedroom was just the way he left it, his king-size bed unmade and his laundry in the basket by the bathroom door. 

Jared tossed his suitcase on the bed and padded to the kitchen for a beer. He'd start laundry tomorrow. It wasn't like he had anyone to impress or anything. Ever since Supernatural gained its popularity, he'd shied away from serious relationships because he barely had time for himself let alone a significant other. Settling into the couch, he flipped through the channels before stopping on the movie Die Hard, one of his favorite Christmas movies. Before he knew it, he'd dozed off, his hard work and jet lag finally catching up to him.

-------------------------------------------------

You groaned and shut off your alarm. How was it already 6 AM? Forcing yourself to emerge from your warm blanket cocoon, you padded to the bathroom praying a hot shower would wake you up. Mornings were far from your favorite thing, and if you were going to meet with your potential employer then you needed to be somewhat presentable. 

Once you were dressed and had some sustenance, you wore a simple pair of jeans and a comfortable top. Your hair fell neatly at your shoulders and once you applied a small amount of makeup, you looked less like a zombie than you imagined. Remembering to grab your card key, you slid on your flats and headed to the address that Megan had texted you. 

The drive was nearly three hours, but you didn't mind. It allowed you to decompress and listen to your favorite Spotify playlist. Luckily, the rental car you managed to get had Bluetooth, otherwise you'd have to deal with the local stations. 

Finally, you pulled into the driveway and allowed yourself to take a few deep breaths. The house was pretty big, two-story with a two-car garage. The yard was well kept and you could see the faint outlines of playground equipment down the street. Overall, it looked to be a nice, quiet neighborhood. 

Crisp air fanned your face as you walked to the front door. A couple knocks later you were face to face with a sweet-looking young woman. She smiled warmly at you before inviting you inside. 

"Hi! You must be Y/N. It's so good to meet you." 

Smiling back at her, you shook her hand and then noticed a taller figure walk up behind her. He nodded at you and wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist. 

“I’m her husband, Trent. Please come in and make yourself comfortable.”

You followed them inside and gasped as they led you into what had to be their living room. Your eyes wandered and marveled at how cozy and elegant everything looked. Not that it mattered to you, but you couldn’t help but think this couple had a lot of money. 

“You have a beautiful home, Mr. and Mrs. …” 

It only just hit you that you didn’t know their last name. Megan brought you a cup of some wonderful smelling coffee and sat down on the love seat across from you. 

“Stevenson. Our last name is Stevenson. Thank you for your kind words. We moved here a little over a year ago so I could be closer to my niece.” 

You nodded and moaned happily at the taste of the coffee. This was one of the many things you enjoyed in life, a nice hot cup of coffee.

“Oh, does your family live close? That’s always nice, having family that lives close by. I used to watch my older sister’s kids all the time while she worked. They’re in school full-time now, so that’s why I decided to move here to hopefully pursue my dream.” 

It amazed you that you felt this comfortable around the Stevenson’s so quickly. Normally, your anxiety would get the better of you and it’d be like pulling teeth to get you to share personal things about your life. Megan nodded and scooted over to allow room for Trent to sit by her. 

“Yes, one of my older brother’s lives about fifteen minutes from here. He’s not home often though due to his job. He’s an actor and really only gets time off during the summer and the holidays. My other older brother lives about forty-five minutes from here. He’s an Orthopedic surgeon.” 

“Wow.” You breathed. “That’s really awesome! I have always wanted to be a singer, but my love of kids made me want to wait a little longer to try and become successful at it. I probably would have had kids of my own by now if I was fortunate in the relationship department. I seem to always find the ones who are either already married or live in their Mom’s basement.” The three of you shared a laugh and you watched as Trent scrolled through his phone. 

“This is our son, Max. He just turned five about a month ago, and in his lap is our two-month-old daughter Macee.”

You looked at them both in awe. “They’re beautiful! Max sure looks like he loves Macee a lot.” Just as you handed Trent his phone back, a small voice sounded from the foot of the stairs. 

“Mommy? I can’t sweep…”

The three of you looked to see little Max standing with his teddy bear and rubbing his eyes. Megan opened her arms and set him on her lap, pressing her lips to his forehead. 

“Hey, baby. You can sit with Mommy while we talk to miss Y/N.”

Your ears perked up at her words. Was she giving you the job? Both her and Trent shared a look and you could tell they were having a wordless conversation. Finally, Megan turned and gave you an excited smile. 

“Y/N, if you’re up for it, Trent and I would love to have you as our Nanny. You seem very attentive and dependable. We have a spare room that you can stay in for the time being, and you’ll have your own bathroom.” 

“Thank you both so much! I can’t wait to work with you and get to know your adorable children. When would you like me to start?”

Megan gave you a folder with a few papers in it to go over. 

“These are just a few more things about us and the kids that I want you to know. You can bring your things over tomorrow night and then on Monday you can start.”

You bid Trent and Megan goodbye and headed back to your hotel. It was as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You’d only been here a short time and you had a place to stay and a job. Now all you needed to get was a car and you’d better off than you were before you started your journey. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of his phone’s text tone woke Jared from his slumber. He typed a quick response to his sister and stretched his tired muscles. After taking a quick shower and getting dressed he grabbed his wallet and keys before heading out the door. 

His sister said to be at her house in a couple of hours, but he didn’t see the harm in getting there early. It would give him time to play with Max and Macee for a little while. The drive there wasn’t very long, and soon he was walking up the sidewalk to their front door. 

He let himself in and could saw his sister in the back yard playing with the kids. Before he could head through the house out the back door, something caught his attention. A sweet melodic voice flowed through the upstairs hallway that made his heartbeat quicken. He moved so he could see better and caught sight of the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. She had long brown hair that waved a bit at the ends, was probably about five foot one, and her voice was mesmerizing. 

He watched as she cleaned the kids’ playroom, her hips shimmying to the music she was listening to. It was then that he recognized the song she was singing. It was one of the songs from Jensen’s new album! Standing in the foyer, he let himself listen to you a bit longer.

Oh, and how do I get you off my mind

With you back in my bed

How do I get you off my mind

Can’t have you living in my head

You can only stay awake so long

While deciding what is true

I lean in for a kiss upon your shoulder

Realize it wouldn’t do, not with you

So, how do I get you off my mind

With you back in my bed

How do I get you off my mind

Can’t have you living in my head

Unbeknownst to him, his sister was watching him watch her, the biggest smirk on her face knowing that you had caught her brother’s eye. 

“Her name’s Y/N, and she’s Trent and I’s nanny.”

Jared whirled around to meet his sister’s knowing gaze. He knew he’d been caught staring and was sure he was blushing furiously. 

“That’s ah… I’m uh… glad you found someone suitable for the kids, Meg. I bet she’s great.”

“Uh-huh… I haven’t seen you look at someone like that since… well, since ever really. You like her.”

“What?! That’s… I mean… I don’t even know her. I just… her singing was um… really good!”

By now, you had finished cleaning the playroom and was prepared to relieve Megan so she could go out with her family. You heard her talking to someone and you assumed it was Trent. 

“Hey, Megan! I finished cleaning the pla-” 

Your words were caught in your throat as you looked down into the foyer. There, standing mere feet from you was your celebrity crush since you saw him on Gilmore Girls. Jared Padalecki. It took only a moment for things to click in your brain and you deduced that he and Megan were siblings. 

“Y/N, this is one of my older brother’s Jared, Jared this is Y/N.” 

“H-Hi…” You squeaked. He gave you a boyish grin and you forgot how to breathe. “I’m uh… just going to get a few things from my room…” 

Once you were behind the closed door, you let out a shaky breath. How in the fuck did you manage to get a job at Jared Padalecki’s sister’s house?! Taking a deep breath you grabbed the Tonka set you bought Max and headed downstairs to the great room to play with him and Macee. Jared was in the kitchen with Megan, and you were lucky enough to be immensely distracted by Max to hear what they were saying. 

“I’m telling you Jare, you should ask her out! I give her weekends off, and I don’t think she knows anyone here but us. I think it would be nice to show her around.”

Jared rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I don’t know Megan… I just met he-”

“Oh cut the crap, Jared. You can make all the excuses you want, but you and I both know you like her. C’mon! Take a chance! She’s cute and you’re single. If you keep waiting around for the right person, then who knows how long you’ll be waiting?”

Jared contemplated his sister’s words as he eyed you through the kitchen. Who was he kidding? Megan was right. He sighed and swallowed thickly as he headed into the Great room. 

“Here goes nothing…”