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lesinquietes · 8 months

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Summary: You’re trying to recover from what happened, but it’s hard to forget; especially when you know he’ll be back for you one day. Your commutes home have never been so stressful.

Mean!Yandere!Shigaraki x Bimbo!Reader

⚠️ mdni. a splash of horror. dark content. degradation. exhibitionism. fingering. incel. misogyny. noncon. sexism. thoughts of death and dying. victim-blaming. voyeurism. yandere.

Previous l pls stop asking for a part 3 💕

You go straight to the cops upon fleeing from Shigaraki. You understand why he let you escape when the officers stifle chuckles. You don’t have anything but your word to support the bold accusation that the leader of the Paranormal Liberation Front is trying to rape you. Saying it aloud sounds more ridiculous than the way it echoes in your thoughts.

You check the forum. Crumbleking’s post was deleted days ago. The account he used is gone, too. Your Instagram yielded similar results.

At the very least, they believe that someone entered your apartment and assaulted you. His identity being Tomura Shigaraki is highly contested. They send someone over to investigate your home. Much to your chagrin, the officer returns with a clean report. According to his examination, nothing in the space was disturbed. There was no sign of a break and enter.

It’s funny. When you stumbled towards the window, desperate for safety, you recall knocking over a table and shattering the vase. If nothing was disturbed, did your assailant clean up the mess…?

You ration that he had to have, and your heart almost stops. He’s ballsy for that one. You suppose he’s confident in his plan to enact revenge on you. He considers himself invincible, and he damn well might be. But everyone has a weakness.

You’re not stupid enough to think this is over. You aren’t keen to relax now that you’ve alerted the authorities. Will the cops who laughed at you rush to your aid when he inevitably returns for a second try? Doubtful. You’re responsible for protecting yourself.

You submit a police report anyway. They don’t include a name for the suspect because they don’t buy your allegation. It’s enough to simply have the document on file.

You don’t return to your apartment that evening — at least, not by yourself. You explain what happened to a friend. She lives in a beautiful, isolated rural area, about an hour out of town; nevertheless, upon hearing your bad news she drives all the way to pick you up at the station. A stoic, shivering mess, she works to reassure you. Nothing works. Nothing is helpful. She takes you back to her house after grabbing some essentials at your place.

Entering your space felt foreign and uncomfortable. You found yourself jumping at the slightest creak. Nothing was familiar. And you were correct about the vase — someone cleaned it up.

The days following your attack involve negotiating a lease break with your landlord. Fortunately, you’ve lived here long enough to establish a solid rapport with him. He keeps your deposit for last month’s rent and permits you to leave by the end of the week. You do so discreetly.

Gradually, you transport your essentials into your car. On the last day of your lease, you hire movers to bring your larger furniture to a storage unit. You promise your friend it’ll only be for a few weeks, and you mean that — for her sake. Although she comprehends the risks, she still agreed to help you; nonetheless, you don’t believe she’ll be spared if Shigaraki discovers your location.

You quit your job. A new one isn’t difficult to find. It’s in a different city. If all goes well, you figure you’ll move into a nearby apartment and lay low.

The next week or so is quiet. You maintain awareness of your surroundings but nothing happens. It’s as though he’s biding his time… or maybe witnessing you walking on eggshells is precisely what he wants.

Shigaraki is a busy man. He doesn’t have the energy to spend haunting you, a civilian who once talked shit about him online. There are bigger fish to fry. According to him, he gets enough women at home, anyway. It’s likely that you’ll never see him again.

Oh, you poor, naive woman; so willing to believe the logical lies your nervous brain feeds you.

It’s six o’clock in the evening, two weeks after your encounter with the dust villain. You stand on the subway terminal and glare down the tracks. There are a few other people there with you. No one you recognize.

To get to your friend’s residence, you have to take the 2216 train to the very end, walk for fifteen minutes, and catch the bus. It’s a dreadful commute. You’re saving up to buy a used car. But until then, you’ll just have to deal with the time vampirism that comes with sneaking around.

Five minutes into your gruelling wait, the train squeals into the terminal, dim yellow lights flickering as it grinds to a jittery halt. Its doors jerk open with a soft ding. You enter the cabin. As usual, it’s crowded at this time of night. Everyone else is commuting home, too. They get on at the station right before yours, taking up all the seats and more than half the standing space.

You walk down a bit and stand between two men conversing with seated passengers. There’s a group of stylish women next to you, chattering eagerly about their evening plans, and a few scattered friends on the opposite side, dazed and distracted after a long work day. It’s compact, but not uncomfortable yet.

Your hand dips into your pocket. When your fingers don’t find what they’re looking for, you grimace. No earbuds. Great. You must have forgotten them at work.

The train stops at another terminal. More people shuffle on board. The trip commences.

You close your eyes and meditate. Honing in on your breathing, you feel the air entering and leaving your lungs. The sensation is serene. You sigh gingerly as the background noise lessens a bit. Sadly, your peace doesn’t last for long.

Something swipes across your butt. Your spine grows rigid. Accidents happen on packed subways, but that? That didn’t feel like a mistake. You hold your breath as you wait, positive your assailant will make a second move. He doesn’t keep you in suspense for long.

He grabs a handful of your ass, squeezing the flesh tightly. You gasp. A swift, gloved hand covers your mouth. The textured fabric is rough against your skin.

“Shut the fuck up, you little slut.”

Your assailant’s familiar, raspy voice sends a chill through your entire body. Without a doubt, Tomura Shigaraki is behind you. You were a fool to believe he was gone for good. He had to return, didn’t he? If only to put you in your place.

“If you overreact, I’ll dust this entire cabin.” He warns. “Let me do what I want, and maybe you’ll get to leave alive.”

Why wouldn’t he kill you and everyone on this train? It’s not like you’re special. Once you’re dead, he’ll simply find another person to harass. And the people around you? No one significant. He’d probably garner a lot of attention if he committed mass murder.

But all the same, it’s impossible for you to understand the sick feelings he harbours for you in his heart, and the way they grow every time he sees you. It isn’t love. It isn’t lust. It’s a sensation that’s incomprehensibly sinister in its somber nature; a volatile melange of emotions that frightens even him. You have no idea the lengths he would go to for the sake of preserving your life; he’s not finished toying with you yet.

He releases your ass and uncovers your mouth. Securing a palm firmly to your hip, he slithers his other hand up your skirt. Slipping your panties aside, he finds your clit. His index fingers massages slow circles over your twitching nub, eliciting a delicious exhale.

He dreamed of this moment for weeks. He fantasized about bearing claim to you in public, where anyone can watch. He’s about to be the God of this world, isn’t he? He can do as he pleases, and to hell with the consequences. When he possesses rule, he’ll have you cockwarm him on his throne all day long. By that time, you’ll surely know your place beneath his muddy boot.

He teases the lips of your cunt with his sharp fingernail, gliding it gently over the edge of your small hole. He pinches your thigh when you attempt to press your legs together. He won’t let you deny him entry to what’s his.

“I’m wearing gloves that cancel out my quirk.” He mutters darkly. “But if you don’t cooperate, I’ll take them off and activate it right here.”

He twists your clit between his thumb and index finger. The horrifying thoughts causes a stray tear to drip down your cheek. You don’t want to imagine how that would feel.

“Sorry,” you whisper pathetically. “I-I will.”

Picking up the tone of your voice, the man next to you turns around. Shigaraki removes his hand from beneath your skirt and wraps both arms around your waist. He lifts a brow when the stranger acknowledges both of you. To him, it looks like you’re a couple commuting home together. He has no concept of what’s truly going on; that if you don’t obey, him, and everyone else on this train, will die. Ignorant, he smiles and returns to his trivial conversation.

“Didn’t I tell you to shut the fuck up?” The villain growls viciously. “Second strike, whore.”

You understand that the third strike will be your last.

You glance over your shoulder. He’s wearing a black face mask to match a large, baggy sweater. Crimson irises leer at you menacingly. He has his hood pulled over a head of shaggy, unkempt hair. It’s no wonder he hasn’t been recognized; his signature traits — like the hand covering his face, or his pastel tresses — are hidden from sight.

Just as you’re drinking in his appearance, he’s basking in yours. You look even better than the photos you put up on your social media account. He managed to save a few before you deleted it. He stares at them when he’s fucking his hand to the notion of capturing and taming you. He cums the hardest to porn where women are nothing more than brain dead sex slaves; that’s what he envisions for you.

Of course, submissive bitches aren’t born obedient; they need to be whipped into shape. He thinks the fight you put up is the best part about the training process. When you’re unruly, it forces him to be crueller. He wonders when you’ll pick up on that. It doesn’t have to hurt if you simply comply.

As much as he’s intrigued to witness you up close, he’s pissed at you for wearing a skirt today. Don’t you know the meaning of decency? Anyone could have molested you on the train. It’s practically a cultural norm for cute women to get harassed during their commute. He’s going to teach your pussy who it belongs to. Then, next time you go to work m, you might think twice before wearing a garment that’s easy access.

You face forward, when he grasps your shoulders. Slowly, his hands slide down to your hands, stopping to give them an affectionate squeeze, in case there are curious voyeurs. He wants to make this look as organic as possible.

From behind, he lifts up your skirt and pulls your panties aside. The fabric bites into your flesh, no doubt giving you a rash on the crease of your crotch. He’s careless with his motions; this is all about him. Discomfort is a sensation you should become dearly acquainted with.

“Did you miss me?”

You bite your lower lip when his digits discover your clit. Your back arches as they map out the nub, teasing your hooded flesh to see what your pussy needs to drip. It doesn’t take much. You can’t distract yourself from his touches. There’s nothing stimulating; merely the backs of strangers who couldn’t save you if they tried.

Inwardly, you sob. You have no control. Even your own body is betraying you.

He dips a finger between your folds and hums when he discovers how wet you are. Running the length of his index finger along your clit, he snickers. He knew you were in denial. You must want him. He’ll be damned if he doesn’t get you to admit your desire by the end of your trip back to the Deika City.

“Feels like it.”

You frantically scope the sea of people. You’re between several, so you think you’re clear from view; then, you catch the eye of an older businessman. He’s staring directly at your crotch, where Shigaraki’s fingers are massaging your puffy clit. You bite the inside of your cheek. He knows what’s going on. You bet he’s been enjoying the show. You can’t count on a pig like him to save you.

You repress a sob, utterly humiliated. You haven’t felt this degraded in your life. You’re being groped by Japan’s most notorious villain while a lustful stranger observes.

“I bet you thought you got away from me, didn’t you?” He snarls. “Thought I’d forgotten about you.”

You’re too embarrassed to admit it. You fell right into his trap. Somehow, he knew you would lower your guard after a while. It’s precisely when you set it down completely that he struck. You’re either extremely predictable or he has incredible intuition.

He removes his hand from your underwear and brings it around to your chest. You feel your juices coat your skin and shudder. You can’t believe your body got wet for this disgusting motherfucker.

His nasty fingers claw at the buttons of your blouse. One of them pops off. It shoots diagonal, striking one of the windows. A passenger picks it up and glances around. You lock eyes with her. Instantly, she notices what’s going on. Unlike the businessman from earlier, however, you know she has the intention to act. It sparks a flame of hope in your heart.

A few men shift and shroud her from view. It’s probably for the best. Shigaraki’s digits locate your nipple soon after, dipping beneath your bra to pinch the responsive flesh. You stifle a shriek when his plucking becomes too much.

“I’m going to take you back with me and tie you up in the middle of our courtyard,” he whispers hoarsely, voice dripping with desire. “I’m sure some of our soldiers could use a bit of stress relief.”

You gag. You’ll die abused, beaten, starved, and dehydrated — a prisoner of war because you mouthed off on the Internet. This is so stupid.

Your captor groans softly as he withdraws his hand from your breast and slides a lithe finger past your folds, sheathing it up to his knuckle. He can tell it hurts. Your pain makes him enjoy it more. You stiffen and bite your lower lip.

The vehicle jolts to a halt again. The system announces that this is Jolicoeur Station, the second last stop on the line. That means you’re nearly there. He hums approvingly when the doors shut.

“Time’s almost up, whore.”

You don’t know what the fuck that means. Is he going to kill you or bring you to his base? Only time will tell, you suppose. For now, you want his sharp fingernail away from your cervix. You wriggle, praying he’ll at least stop jiggling it around. It isn’t long until he does, though he makes it clear he withdrew if his own volition; he can’t have you thinking you have a modicum of power over him, can he?

He’ll treat you like you’re nothing — a lifetime of serving him will drill that into your pretty head. He’ll never let you understand your real worth again when you’re under his brutal care. Beneath his boot is where you’ll remain.

The train lunges to another ungrateful stop. Your heart drops. This is it — the end of the line. Shigaraki touches you with both hands from behind, drumming his clothed fingers atop your shoulders.

“When the doors open, walk.” He instructs you. “We’ll pretend we’re a couple.”

You want to throw up. He’s forcing you to act like his lover after playing with you against your will. You’ll be damned if you go down without a fight. If you see an opening to ditch him, you’re going to take it; to hell with considering the consequences of being caught a third time.

He smooths your clothes out from how he rumpled them. He figures it’ll seem more natural if you appear relatively put together. He fixes your blouse and then moved to your skirt. To onlookers, it’s probably cute — a boyfriend tending to his girlfriend. They have no idea about the undertones of his treatment.

As if on cue, the woman from earlier coaxes your gaze back to hers. She licks her lips and reaches for the emergency switch. Your mouth opens. You know what she’s trying to do. It’s perfect. He won’t expect it because he thinks he’s in the clear.

You nod once. She takes that as your signal to proceed. With a visible grunt, she yanks the switch down. Reprieve floods your chest as soon as you hear the alarm.

You have to go.

Now.

The doors of the train freeze. In a panic, everyone races out of the car. You follow suit. The second you sense his grip slacken, you bolt. As you scurry off the car, you feel Shigaraki’s greedy hand reach for you — gloveless. You scream. Your voice blends in with the rest of the cacophony, shielding you from unwanted attention.

You glance over your shoulder. Everything around you slows down. He’s standing in the sea of people, still and glaring. His hood is pulled down and his mask is hanging off one ear. His scarred lips are contorted in a grimace.

For a brief moment, an understanding is met. Today, both of you learned that the other is not to be underestimated. After this little stunt, you’re his main priority. He hopes you’re prepared to take this game just as seriously, because he won’t stop pursuing you unless he’s killed. And he knows that won’t happen anytime soon.

You turn away from him and finish your flight. Like last time, he permits you to escape. He stays glued in place until nearly everyone else has left the terminal; then, he departs.

You have no idea the demons you’ve awakened inside him.

#tw incel #tw noncon #tw misogyny #yandere shigaraki x reader #yandere shigaraki #yandere tomura shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki x bimbo reader #afab reader

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eriochromatic · 10 months

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Your impel down modern au is absolutely amazing is it okay to ask more about it ?

Like is Jinbei the legal guardian or is Garp around ? Is the Sabo situation like in canon?

What about the warden is he like the landlord ?

(If I ever get inspiration/time would you be down for this to be a fic ?)

Thank u for liking my AU! To be completely honest I intentionally didn’t add other one piece characters since I wanted to explore a different dynamic, so in this AU, Garp (or Shanks or Whitebeard for that matter) wouldn’t be around too much, Sabo also probably wouldn't be too present.

For this AU specifically, the influential parental figures around Luffy and Ace are Jinbei (legal guardian), and then Crocodile (takes care of them when Jinbei is busy), and then the rest of the apartment residents when both Jinbei and Croc are occupied. The only other one piece chara I might consider adding in is Magellan as the landlord, but he’d be pretty hands off and not really part of the main dynamic anyways.

And of course, feel free to turn this into a fic if you’re feeling inspired! To be completely honest this AU in itself was inspired by a fic from a completely different fandom where they took a bunch of characters who never interacted w/ each other and put them all in an apartment together for a modern AU; Oda already did the job of getting random characters to work together so I just wanted to do the modern AU part!

Certain headcanons that I wasn’t able to add in the post itself:

Jinbei is a highschool teacher! The area they live in isn’t well funded so he probably doubles up as their guidance counselor as well,, he’s super busy which is why the rest of the apartment complex all collectively helps out watching the kids

Crocodile’s income bracket is technically a few steps above the others but because he’s paying 3 apartments worth of rent his quality of life ends up around the same LOL technically he could always move out but he’s too attached to everyone (would never admit it)

Drag race is still rupaul’s show in this universe and not Ivankov’s HAHAHA Ivankov is definitely more of an underground queen, almost urban legend like… But yeah they’re never home much so Inazuma has been using Ivankov’s apartment as a glorified storage unit for fabrics and outfits

Ace is still the grumpy kid like in canon, but having Crocodile around as a vaguely bad influence (“I am not going to stop you from committing violence” type) makes them strangely close… Croc is trans in this AU and if u wanted Ace to also be trans that can be another bonding point

Since Crocodile manages a casino (with a nightclub), Bentham has been pestering Croc to let him put on a drag show, so far Croc has been saying said no. Croc’s frame of reference is Ivankov (aka someone who’s waaaay to good) so unfortunately anyone who’s not at Ivankov’s level isn’t worth the effort of changing schedules and reorganizing things. Bentham has seen Crocodile proposition Daz constantly for that bouncer job so now there’s this weird one sided rivalry between Bentham and Daz lol

that’s about all the ideas I have for now! hope that was fun and interesting to read!

#erio stuff

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thekinkyleopard · 1 year

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Move-in Day

A Sven and Elex Canon Snz Fic

⚠️Content Warning⚠️

Snz Fet, Smut, Slight Domestic Bullying, Bj

Author’s Notes: I wanted to write something before October of the new boys 🥹 @aller-geez did the art and owns Sven!

Description: The boys are finally moving in together which is going to come with quite a few challenges. Such as boundaries. Something Elex struggles greatly with as he realizes his boyfriend can no longer hide his secret.

“Yo, 7! Where the fuck am I putting these boxes at? And why, or more so, HOW DO YOU HAVE SO MUCH SHIT?!” Elex exploded over the mountain of packed objects he carried through the threshold of their new rented home.

“Just set them in the living room, Lex…I gotta arrange this bathroom real quick…” the cat sounded distant, lost in his current task of getting their home looking like a home. “Also, you’re lucky I have all this shit or else we’d be sitting on lawn chairs watching some bunk ass TV you found on the side of the street,”

“Hey! I’m resourceful, and it’s handy, don’t act like it’s an inconvenience now,” rolling his two toned eyes. The grumpier of the two finally walked through the abode and set the large boxes down with a THUD. “Okay, so there’s this shitload in here and still 48 more shitloads in the truck..how the fuck do you expect to fit all this stuff? Where the fuck were you keeping it all??” The green haired mongrel looked about the small space of their two bedroom one and a half bath home.

“I had a storage unit, and decided to collect home decor the second I started getting a paycheck,” Sven now came walking out of the bathroom, fiddling his hands with some sort of plastic between them. “I figured I was going to need stuff if I was to inherit the family business…til Drae got adopted,” rolling his orange slitted eyes as he now stood in front of his grouchy boyfriend. “You’re welcome,” he stuck his tongue out at the other who swiftly grabbed it in between his index and thumb, giving the organ a light kiss before releasing it. “Hey!” Sven lapped his tongue and tried to remove the taste of Elex’s salty fingers.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re not the one fuckin’ luggin’ it all in here!” Snickering at his own cheeky behavior, and the other’s narrowed eye response.

“Go grab the rest of the shit tons you cretin,” snorting a bit through his nose, truthfully in hopes the man would skitter away faster because truthfully he could feel, deep within his sinuses, it was coming. He forgot to take his allergy meds, in all actuality, he packed them. That’s why he was unpacking the bathroom first. Yet, it seemed, he did not pack them according to his memory so he thought. Which means his allergy medication was floating somewhere in the several boxes he had recently packed. He sighed deeply.

“Why are you so antsy today? Like there’s a fire under your ass, chill,” Els looked the cat up and down almost worried he may explode into flames.

“Can you please just go get the other fucking boxes?!” Sven finally cracked, it was any minute before he started up, and he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready for Elex to see him actually sneeze without it somehow being stuffed behind something or completely swallowed back.

“Alright! Fuck! Someone’s on their Fuckin’ period,” the badger scoffed before taking his apparently needed exit, grumbling the whole way as he did so. He was alone. Sven looked around and quickly fell into disarray. He outwardly sighed and allowed himself to feel like he was full of rocks. Body visibly slumped from his perfect posture. The second he did, there it was, having been waiting in the dark depths of his allergetic sinuses. His nose began to twitch, and as he scrunched it back and forth…a sneeze came shooting out.

“H-!! H’Tshhkt!” He shook his head back and forth, puffs of spray hitting the air as he almost looked like he was fighting off a ghost. Hands flailing. “Ktch! N’GSH!” He groaned swiping at his nose with the sleeve of his white button up. “Stupid…N’GT! Allergies…H’tshh!!” He continued as he scrambled around the home full of boxes for anything he could use. “Bathroom!” He quickly shouted running back towards the area, snagging a string of toilet paper off the roll he’d set up. “Thank god…” he mumbled before blowing his nose, roughly, violently, with real purpose. He wanted not a single drop left when he was finished. He rubbed at his nose so adamantly there was a gentle clicking sound emitting from the area. Unbeknownst to him, Elex had re-entered the home, with another armful of boxes, muttering about heavy useless garbage, why not get stuff at the dollar tree. Sven’s head snapped to the bathroom door and he quickly shut it with panic. Locking the knob.

Elex sat the boxes down and at the same moment, heard the bathroom door click, as it were being secured. “Sven?” He called out curiously, his head tilted to the right as he walked towards the bathroom now. “…Sven??” Starting to feel a bit worried his voice picking up to that of slight panic. His boyfriend wasn’t the silent type, and he knew the badger was nosey, so typically calling for him would have triggered some sort of response in update. Yet there was nothing. Elex furrowed his brows and stepped forward to jiggle the knob.

From the other side Sven sat up against the wall, fighting for his life. ‘Fuuuuuck why are you so nosey Elex ?!’ He screamed internally as his body worked against him. “I’m uh…” he called out trying to speak without interruption. “I’m..Nn..trying to shit…do you..KT! … mind?!”coming up with something he seemingly found less embarrassing than sneezing…..shitting? He panicked. Wiping desperately at his nose in hopes it would keep it settled.

“Uh…k my fuckin’ bad,” Lex held up his hands defensively and smoothly turned from the door to give his partner some privacy. He plopped himself down onto..well…one of the sturdier boxes, and started scrolling through his media news feed. Every so often snorting a chuckle through his nostrils. He could be shoveling in more boxes, but why would he do that right now?

Sven gasped for air as he finally realized Elex was no longer standing by the doorway. He grabbed a handful of toilet paper and formed a perfect little nest, because he was surely going to need it. He huffed, hitched and his watering orange eyes rolled into the back of his head before he blew his mess into the handful of paper. “Hh’gsch!! K’GNSH!” Though his sneezes were relatively quiet, not too much to be bothered by the average listener, Elex just barely heard the whispering end of it. He looked up from his phone. The man was a walking question mark symbol as he slowly got up from where he sat and quietly crept closer to the door. “H’tshhkt!! Hppt’CH!” Sven tried muffling them into the now dampening piece of mulched tree, but unfortunately for him, the sound traveled quite fluently in this new home.

Elex was standing at the door, ear pressed tightly against it with one palm flattened beside him to keep him steady, his darkened patchy skin, illuminated a bright pink. Sven was sneezing? Openly? Without him?! Clearly the cat was trying to hide it…but why? What was he so ashamed of? Frankly…his little sounds were quite delightful. He bit his lip before listening in for more.

“Fuck…Nkch! Ngt’ch!! KTCH! Pleeeease…” he tried to reason with the universe to allow him just a smidge of freedom from this darkened, evil curse. This was supposed to be a blissful day. He was supposed to enjoy this new found independence and be able to enjoy his new life with his boyfriend. Not held up in the bathroom sneezing his brains out of his ears. “Hh’gsch!! Hptt’CHHH!”

Elex couldn’t stand it anymore by this point, so he pulled his head back and gently knocked again. “Sven? Come on puss, why you still in there?”

“Go away Lex! I can’t let you…H’GNXT! see me like this…” stifling into his hand, long abandoning the soiled tissue. He couldn’t allow Elex to see him this way, he couldn’t! It was humiliating! The opposite of manly! He couldn’t do it.

“Babe…seriously just open the door,” The badger began to grow impatient. “You either open it, or I knock it the fuck down, pick your poison cause this hiding secrets shit isn’t going to fly with me,” now feeling a bit more grudgeful. Why was the man acting like this? Reserved and hidden? He was usually so passionate and proud! An open book almost, but this was starting to concern the green haired male.

“No! You’re going to laugh at me…” a muffled, insecure voice was heard through the thin wood of the bathroom door. It almost made the Badger soften, almost. That wasn’t like him though.

“Barker, I’ll take ‘Things That’ll Never Fuckin Happen’ for 800 please…Puss, open the damn door,” trying to reason with the other by sprinkling in some light humor, his knuckles still tapping against the wooden material. Eventually, the green haired male heard the click of the lock and the door came slowly creeping open. “Puss?” He called open from his position, before sneaking his head in first.

He saw Sven a mess on the ground, sniveling and sniffing as he rubbed his reddened nostrils, clearly having been fighting a battle in here, surrounded by discarded tissues. “Don’t look at me..” he whimpered with his head hanging low, the loose strands of his aqua hair hiding the disdain behind those glossy orange orbs.

“Oh Puss…” he chuckled shaking his head back and forth, taking a seat next to the smaller. “You sick?” He asked curiously, placing a flat hand on the other’s back and rubbing him lovingly.

“No…I can’t find my Allergy medication…” Sven sighed pitifully, shaking his head slowly back and forth, hugging his knees as he tried his best to starve off what was surely inevitably coming back for more.

“You have allergies too?” Els turned his head, cocking his pierced green brow with curiosity. Surely, he knew the other had some allergens but, so severe? No wonder he never noticed if he was always on meds or stifling….

“Yeah…myself…I’m allergic to MYSELF! K’TCHH!” His face fully vermillion now as he sneezed into the crook of his elbow, trying to avoid a mess across the two of them. Ashamed and embarrassed by his very existence.

“Oh babe…” Elex clicked his tongue and ran his once back rubbing hand, now through the strands of soft colored hair. “What can I do?”

“Not perceive me..SNNDDFF…Nkch!” The quick sniffle to clear his sinuses only made it infinitely worse as he twisted his nose in large circles across his face, then scrunching it with vicious fervor. “Ktch! K’GNSH!”

“Well, that ship has long fuckin’ sailed my face exploding lover, but I can at the very least offer you a distraction,” now bringing both his hands up to massage each of Sven’s shoulders, causing the Cheshire to relax a bit under the touch, his tension slowly melting under Elex’s hands.

“What do you…K’GTCH! Have in mind?” Forcing it out into the palms of his hands as he tried to stay intrigued and engaged within the conversation with Lex, who in turn couldn’t wipe the brightened blushing red hue off his own cheeks.

“Oh you know…” trailing his hand down the front of his boyfriend’s chest, he stopped at his audibly clinky belt, fiddling with the mechanics as he leaned closer into Sven’s soft, orange cat ear. “Suck you senseless?” Starting to work the main belt pieces loose, as it clanked open swiftly with expertise.

“Ng…I might..h’…might quite..nkcht! Enjoy that…actually…sndf,” struggling to make it through his sentence as he grabbed another load off the toilet paper roll, finding it almost needing replacement yet again. Jesus.

Elex licking his lips and swiftly began chewing on his lower lip ring. “I honestly don’t know why you were hiding those sounds from me Sevvy~ I reeeeaaallly enjoy them…” already working his partner’s belt loose from his pants as he slid it out completely and tossed it to the side of the bathroom. “I find it actually…”

“KTCH!” Sven couldn’t hold back another, snapping his hand back up to his face to cover himself, he blushed brightly, his crying eyes now looking over to make contact with Elex’s hungry glare. Whom was bringing his hand back to his mouth.

“Mmm, fairly selfish, that you would hide such an arousing fact about yourself….” Spitting into his palm with a lustful force that made the cat swallow harshly.

“A-Arousing? What are y-you even talking about…Hh’GSCH!” Humbled again, his body shook with the force against the side of Elex’s body, that now hovered him.

“I think you know…Stud,” diving his newly dampened hand into the hem of Sven’s boxers, and taking hold of the other’s hard cock now, Els continued to chew his piercing.

“N-Nuh…uh! Aah~” the aqua haired man tried to argue but it was no use as his pleasure receptors began to buzz and vibrate within his entire body, feeling his boyfriend’s slick hot hand now working his awakening length.

“You’re so shy?? For what reason my strong, handsome, pussy cat? It’s just me…” Lex’s hand twisted expertly, knowing all the right spots to make his normally in charge boyfriend, purr. Els squeezing with lustful power as his digits worked to please him.

“Y-You’re so Lu-lucky I can…t…Hnn..K’gnsh!!” Falling back against the wall, his hair fell beside him, sticking to his slowly dampening temples as his sneezes continued to make him jolt and spray. His nose relentlessly leaked despite how many times he swiped and rubbed at it with the dryer sides of his handful of paper.

“Can’t wait? Toss me around and stick it up my ass? Treat me like the slut I deserve to be?” Snickering lightly into the other’s ear before nipping it playfully, his thumb dipping and teasing at Sven’s aching head.

“Elex…” he moaned loosely, sniffling with soft reserve as his eyes shut tightly. “…Jesus do something with that dirty fucking mouth besides talk shit hm? Sndfff,” snorting back a sneeze, some congestion and a whole lot of vulnerability, Sven took a fistful of Elex’s hair now and dragged him to the space between his legs. “If you’re gonna…hptt’ch!” Using his free hand to brush the leaking fluids from his face. “Be about sucking my dick, then be about it…you foul mouthed whore,” his wet orange gaze now snapped open and narrowed down at the taller of the two, who blinked several times with his multi colored gaze before a devious smirk slid across his lips.

“My pleasure, boss,” settling comfortably between Sven’s thighs, the Badger slowly pulled the cat from behind a wall of boxer and forced open pants. Face to face with it, the green haired man shivered in anticipation, sticking his split pierced tongue out he wrapped it delicately around the head, slipping each side up and down, opposite of each other. This caused the cat to gasp loudly, his grip on the forest locks only tightening.

“Shiiiit…” the warm metal balls rubbing and teasing the ridges of his head was almost enough of a distraction to keep his allergies at bay, but almost doesn’t pay the bills. “K’tchh! Ngt’chh!” Using his free hand like a tissue, though it was already pretty used up and clammy by now, it was all he had. The toilet paper was inconveniently out of reach now. The sounds and scene of his feline boyfriend blowing out, only fueled the naughty badger even more as he spoke once.

“Don’t stop doing that…” Elex now swallowed Sven’s length in one swoop after his plea, slipping the large cock furthest down his throat he could. Taking his right hand he began to fish it inside his own jeans, needing to release at the sight of this. A special occasion, a new secret unlocked. Everyday he learned more and more about the elusive cat and it only drove him further in love with the asshole. His tongue, caressed and hugged around the cat’s length in a whole new way no other without a surgery like his could. It was almost one Sven’s most favorite things about the slightly younger, beside his overall personality. He liked his boys a little, spicy. Sven would loosen his grip upon the other’s hair only to tighten it back up the second his cock would hit the back of his throat.

“H’h…aah~ nn..El…H’tshhkt!! Nkch! Ngsh!” The older of the two cried out gently, his small explosive light sneezes dusting and decorating the space now between them. Cascading down onto Elex’s face causing the badger to moan around the other’s thick length. “I’m-..so…H’NgXt! Nnch! Hah…close…” fighting to at least finish the thought while his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Elex sucking purely on his tip before pushing down again. The taller’s head continued to bob gracefully, each side of his tongue working over time to massage and press at every individual dip and vein. His hand pumping quickly at his own leaking, needy member.

As each second passed, with Elex’s mouth on his cock, and the new found freedom that the other was less than a bully about this exposed secret, his groin tightened. “Elex…” he groaned his lover’s name, pushing his head with each downward suck, he couldn’t take it anymore. The badger was simply too fucking good at pleasing him. His back straightened against the wall and he threw his head up with existential pleasure. Sven came, hard inside the other’s working mouth. His hips stuttered and he forcibly shoved Lex’s throat down almost drowning the other in his explosive seed.

No matter the difference. Els swallowed every drop as his own shaking fist began to stagger and suffer. Trying to keep pace but finding himself lost in ecstasy and before long his efforts were just enough to send him over the edge, filling his boxers with cum. “Fucking shit….” He hissed plopping Sven’s cock from his mouth as a thin white line of fluid dribbling down his chin now. Sven chuckled, watching his mate in the throes of an intense orgasm, he reached over with his thumb and swiped the line of cum from the other’s face. He held his hand there for a moment , caressing the other’s discolored cheek, while Elex tried to catch his breath.

“Sndfff…Thanks…” he huffed, out of breath between the allergy attack and his lover’s mouth.

“For the blowjob? No problem,” chuckling playfully as El now too sat back, but against the lower cabinet of their sink.

“No…for not making fun of me,” he shrugged. “I know it’s one of your favorite past times but…this time it meant a lot that you didn’t,” Sven smiled over at the badger who met him with a cocky grin and a roll of his duo colored eyes.

“Hey I might be an asshole, but I can read a room…plus…you’ve grown on me through the years…I can’t make you wanna kill yourself ALL THE TIME…” chuckling loosely before reaching over and lightly gripping the other’s chin lovingly before letting go.

“Touché…” the cat responded with a carefree smirk and a quick reach to grip, and hold onto Elex’s hand.

“I love ya, Puss, stop keeping secrets, alright?” The badger said softly, his thumb rubbing over the top of Sven’s embracing hand.

“Yeah, alright. I love ya too, kid,” his orange eyes sparkled with slight mischief but overall love for the bratty male.

“Don’t fuckin call me that,” his green and brown eyes shifted to a narrow glare, sizing the other up now and ripping his hand away from Sven’s loving grasp.

“I’ve told you several times to stop calling me puss,” the Cheshire shrugged almost unphased by this sudden mood swing the other was having, since he was always having one.

“Puss is cute! You’re a cat! Kid is fuckin’ weird…makes me feel less manly, stop it,” pouting now, folding his arms across his chest he certainly fit the description more than ever now. It was more or less not helping his case.

“Whatever you say, kid,” shifting slightly the badger jerked forward and slugged the cat in his arm, hard, no holding back, he did not care and there would surely be a bruise the next day. “Ow! You god damn animal!” His voice said stern but his facial expression said bring it, always ready for some rowdy action.

“Yeah well, maybe it’ll teach you to listen! Dick for brains!” Sticking his tongue out with defiance, Elex continued to uphold his protests, folding his arms back up over his chest.

“Zip it, you neanderthal, and get up…help me find my damn meds…Sndfff…” Sven snuffled loudly again and finally began to lift himself off the bathroom floor, extending a hand out to his partner, offering help but was met with a very stubborn badger.

“Maybe I don’t want to…I’ll have you sneezing all over this house for my personal enjoyment,” turning his head swiftly away to avoid looking at his boyfriend, still pouting, crossed up and avoidant.

“There really is something mentally wrong with you,” bringing his hand back in, Sven now also crossed his arms over his chest and slowly shook his head at the very bratty man on the floor in front of him.

“Yes, but you knew this, and still chose to go out with me, so what’s that say about you? Huh Einstein?” Sharply turning his head back to deliver his final argument it actually made the cat shrug his shoulders and nod his head in agreement.

“You make a sincerely valid point, now please help me unpack all this shit…” again, the cat unfolded his arms and reached a hand out to offer, one more time, his mate a lift back up to solid footing.

“That’s better, a please never hurt no one,” finally, Elex took the offering of the cat’s hand, and connected their palms in a hitch. The shorter of the two promptly pulling himself up on to his feet again. Elex subconsciously began to wipe down his pants and wash his hands.

“I fear I may have made a mistake moving in with you….” Looking the other up and down, he sincerely was starting to question whether or not he made a good choice. He did after all move in with an unhinged criminal that he often stood toe to toe with many times through out their childhood together. This surely, was going to be a rollercoaster ride.

The End

Author’s Notes: What better way to break in the new couple than some smutty snz action. I hope you all enjoyed the new OCs and their sexy, slightly abusive and toxic dynamic. 🫠🫠🫠 I’m sorry y’all we needed something with a bit more umpf. Elex is so BabyGirl 🤭🤭 he just won’t ever admit it 🤪

#original character #oc #writer #fic writer #snz kink #snzblr #art #smut #my character #Elex Parker #Sven #snz things #snz #snz fet #snzfucker #snzzzzz #snzfic #sneeze kink #snz ocs #snzfet

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queer-crip-grows · 1 year

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Right-to-buy council houses without specifically only releasing housing that already had a replacement built was of the most notable ways of the *many* that Thatcher et al screwed the UK.

I’d love to have a law put in place that landlords either have to sign contracts to provide housing under council house-type contracts with rent controls to people on housing benefit etc, or sell to the local council at compulsory purchase prices.

Same for all the houses not being lived in - use to house people under contractual controls, or have to sell to the council housing central fund.

Personally I’d start converting all the office units that are no longer needed because so many people are working remotely now into housing too.

Same for the huge city centre shops - I’m not sure if the pattern repeats elsewhere, but I live near Glasgow and the city centre has basically died since Covid. No one is renting the huge retail stores and the place is full of unhoused folk, which is a fucking scandal. So convert them into housing; let the buildings see use, and let those folks get off the streets. Pets and kids specifically allowed too - get families out of one-room shelters and into proper homes of their own.

I’ve heard that there would be issues putting in water infrastructure, but given the place is literally crumbling already and usage in so many areas is so low that having workers digging up the streets to install water lines wouldn’t cause enormous disruption, the time to do this is *now*. Build rainwater catchment and purification systems on roofs too - we get so much rain in the UK it’s kind of ridiculous not to use it! Some of that could go directly to drip irrigation in gardens, but plenty could go right into the houses/flats too. And of course this would provide tons of jobs in construction, architecture, planning etc etc.

Install gardens and green spaces around the place while you are doing this - offer some at low rent, or to buy cheaply, to market gardeners, but specifically put spaces in for communal gardens with the idea of offering allotments and encouraging people to grow their own food.

Put solar panels on every roof and integrate spaces for smaller wind turbines amongst the houses too. Huge storage batteries in basements to make the new blocks as low-footprint and self-sufficient as possible power-wise.

It would be a *fantastic* opportunity to create genuinely accessible housing - office buildings and shops already have lifts and wide corridors ideal for wheelchairs and other mobility devices, so keep that in the design when creating housing. There is a hidden epidemic of houselessness amongst disabled people and older folk with mobility needs, so create low-rent council housing that specifically fits those needs there.

It would regenerate the areas - all the smaller shopfronts not suitable for housing conversion would fill up with people offering the things people in residential neighbourhoods need, with a guaranteed payer base. People on low incomes *use* all of their incomes on necessities, so small businesses selling those necessities will do well. Offer small businesses low rents to provide those necessities. Any that don’t fill up, offer to charities and use for council staff offering the aid and advice people transitioning into housing actually *need*.

Carers are generally low-paid - so this would be an opportunity to offer them cheap housing close to a huge client base in the new accessible housing. No need for low-paid, mostly-female workers to dash constantly between clients in cars. They could walk to work and walk in between clients, who would also no longer be trapped in inaccessible homes, so people who are not actually bedbound would hopefully be less housebound.

Put rooms in the blocks for communal and co-op activities to reduce isolation - with the lifts and wide corridors, even people who are functionally housebound are likely to be able to make it to a room in their own building, and even quite young children could get to those places safely on their own if their parents are working. Wraparound childcare, paid and informal, near where folks actually live.

City centre areas that are now largely dead other than unhoused people, with limited and decreasing zero economic activity taking place and a decreasing incentive for businesses to set up there rather than in out-of-town retail parks people need to drive to, would become vibrant communities with every incentive for businesses to set up there, particularly for the small businesses that still employ the majority of people.

It wouldn’t take a lot to extend this model to transform those out-of-town business parks that are currently largely empty either; nothing says the businesses that are still there would need to move, and they would have a huge new pool of potential employees living within easily walkable distance, though there would need to be oversight to make sure places like Amazon didn’t attempt to buy them up and turn them into company housing. There would need to be a little more investment to provide green transport links like electric buses and trains so that it would be easier for small businesses to move in to provide services, but given the tax income that would result and the reduction in pollution the investment would probably pay itself back within a decade or so.

#a queer crip grows #housing #housing crisis #solarpunk #solutions #solutions to climate crisis #walkable communities #walkable cities #urban gardening #urban food growing #providing housing #ending homelessness #climate friendly #climate crisis #the future is accessible #accessibility #accessible cities #accessible communities

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gatheringbones · 2 years

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[“Many landlords were part-timers: machinists or preachers or police officers who came to own property almost by accident (through inheritance, say) and saw real estate as a side gig. But the last forty years had witnessed the professionalization of property management. Since 1970, the number of people primarily employed as property managers had more than quadrupled. As more landlords began buying more property and thinking of themselves primarily as landlords (instead of people who happened to own the unit downstairs), professional associations proliferated, and with them support services, accreditations, training materials, and financial instruments. According to the Library of Congress, only three books offering apartment-management advice were published between 1951 and 1975. Between 1976 and 2014, the number rose to 215. Even if most landlords in a given city did not consider themselves “professionals,” housing had become a business.

The evening’s speaker was Ken Shields, from the Self Storage Brokers of America. After selling his insurance company, Shields had begun looking for a way to get into real estate. He started out with rooming houses, which meant he started out renting mainly to poor single men. “Very nice cash flow. But I no longer have them.” The room chuckled. “I made some good money, and I mean, I love to get money, but I’m still just as happy not running around and dealing with some of these dregs of society who live in rooming houses.”Sherrena, who owned a couple of rooming houses, laughed along with the room. Then Shields found self-storage. “It’s got the residual incomes of an apartment building, but,” he lowered his voice, squinted, “you don’t have the people. You just got their stuff!…This is the sweetest spot in the whole American economy. A receptacle for an enormous cascade of money.”

The landlords loved Ken Shields, even if he did live in Illinois. When he finished his speech, the room broke into applause. The RING president, a mustached man with a full pouch for a stomach, stood up clapping. When there wasn’t a speaker, he often organized round robins. One such evening, a woman from Lead and Asbestos Information Center, Inc., had started off by announcing, “There is money to be made on lead,” to a room of landlords who more often lost money trying to abate it. One landlord asked whether he would have to report the presence of asbestos to the city or the tenants if he tested for it. “No, you don’t,” the woman had said.

The conversation moved on and someone else had asked about garnishing wages. A lawyer informed the room that a landlord was allowed to garnish a tenant’s bank account and up to 20 percent of his or her income, but the last $1,000 was exempt. And welfare recipients were off-limits.

“How about intercepting their tax refund?” Sherrena had asked.

The lawyer looked a bit stunned. “Noooo, only the government can do that.”

Sherrena already knew that. She had looked into it before. Her question wasn’t a question; it was a message to Eric, Mark, Kathy, and everyone else in the room that she would do almost anything to get the rent. Many white landlords knew money could be made in the inner city, where property was cheap, but the thought of collecting payments on the North Side, let alone passing out eviction notices, made them nervous. Sherrena wanted them to know that she could help.”]

matthew desmond, from evicted: poverty and profit in the american city, 2016

#matthew desmond #history stuff #currently reading

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helly-watermelonsmellinfellon · 1 year

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Housed For Now!

[New]

AS OF DECEMBER 20TH, 2023, WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT OUR NEW LANDLADY WANTS US OUT WHEN OUR LEASE ENDS IN FENBRUARY. EDIT Dec 27th 2023: We just learned that she's adding an electric garage door to the garage. Her ex-husband is working on it with an electrician friend of his and I overheard them. She doesn't intend to move in, she wants to add the small ass garage onto the lease and thinks it's worth adding another $1K+ dollars to the rent.

[Old]

Dave just doesn't get how finances work. Because he's so unhelpful and doesn't fucking listen when people speak, he's whining about how after getting paid, mom has nothing left for the month. "But we don't have to spend $230 on the storage unit anymore!" "That went into other bills, Dave!" He thinks that cuz we don't have that one issue holding us down, we're going to be able to handle everything else easily and have money left over for whatever he wants to waste it on. Because mom has had to pay one bill and let another slide as a result every month. It's how she's had to handle our financial problems this entire time. And people all over have to do things like this, it isn't a new tactic.

Mom finally paid off the bank after Dave bounced her account several times last year. She's been paying $100+ a month for ages to get that handled. That should make things a little easier now.

The car insurance has increased by several dozen dollars so it's over $150 a month now. (EDIT: Dec, 2023: It was increased again.)

Her phone and Bethy's phone have to be kept on because of her schooling and we need a functioning phone number or else we'll be in big trouble in many ways. $100+ just for 2 phones. Dave is in charge of his own damn phone.

She has to handle her Discover and Capital One cards since she's had to use them to save our asses a few times. She NEEDS to pay them off so her credit score doesn't tank, and many places won't give you a chance if your credit is low. She's got monthly payments for those around $100+ in total.

The P.O. Box price has increased. Almost $50 now. (EDIT: Dec, 2023: We had canceled it since we finally got a place to live, and now we'll need to get a new one. I'm so tired.)

Dish Network has been on pause or almost 2 years cuz she can't cancel it before the full year she paid is used up or the fee is astronomical. They keep suspiciously unpausing it and trying to lob thousands in fees at us. (EDIT: Aug, 2023: Mom finally got it taken care of by going to the Better Business Bureau with dozens of emails of proof for her case and they came down hard on Dish Network. So we're fine on that front now.)

Then we have gas for a minivan, that Dave should be paying for, but isn't. A mostly full tank is around $80 every 4-5 days. Gas is average rn. So over $400 monthly in gas. (EDIT Dec, 2023: $20 gets 4 1/2 Gallons right now. It is hell.)

We need the part for the van which is $800+. The van is just so old that finding parts for something considered an antique now is damn near impossible, and not having the money up front makes it worse. (EDIT: Dec, 2023: The van is dead and despite how the alternator was replaced and the battery and starter are fine, there's no vehicle.)

She has to pay for her medication cuz we have shit medical. She's already going without many of them but some health problems, like Asthma, can't be ignored so the inhalers are prioritized. (EDIT Aug, 2023: Our medical changed out of nowhere at the beginning of the year and all of our doctors no longer take it. No doctors take it, in fact, so our attempts to get better help have to start all over again.)

Bethy needs school supplies regularly.

But Dave just thinks that she should have all this extra money left over at the end of paying everything off. Many of these things come out instantly on the 1st of each month btw. She has to then work through what is left for the bills that aren't instantly paid off. He thinks if he works with his friend for 3 weeks, he'll have enough money for an apartment, completely ignoring that he'd only have about $1800 for a full month of work with no breaks. The cheapest 2-bedroom in Delaware requires almost all of that, which is why we're waiting on housing which charges based on your monthly income. Even if he handled the monthly rent of $1400-$1700 for a 2-bedroom, mom still has all this stuff to worry about... and then gas, water, electric, sewage, etc... Dave doesn't listen. In public housing, those things are included. Outside it, they are separate expenses.

Other Posts About Life:

[1] [2][3] [4] [5]

~.O.~

[Ko-Fi] [GoFundMe][Venmo] [CashApp: $Flame818] [Amazon Food List] [Amazon Birthday List] [Meal Train] [Patreon]

[NEW Dec, 2023]

I was right to keep on my toes about this. Dave does not read or pay attention and he just rushes into things without thinking. He's made every excuse possible to defend this lady saying she'll see how clean the house is a let us stay, but when she made a point to say she's thinking of moving in here, she isn't looking for a ruined house. She already has the reason for why she wants us out and she put it in writing, and it's because she claims to want to live here now. She doesn't need any other reason; she owns the property and that is good enough.

So, we have to be out by mid-February, which means more moving. And we just have no money and nowhere to go.

[NEWER Mar, 2024]

We need food, heat, hot water, etc... and Dave's getting scammed by a blackmailer that he's now given over $3K to... His dumbass was cheating, as he always does, and within a few conversations felt safe enough to tell this bitch all his personal business, as well as everything about his kids and grandkids. And now, cuz he offended her, she did a search on him and found his family and is how holding them over his head to Apple gift cards.

Yet he stomps in the house every day demanding to know if anyone 'gave us money'. And then got mad when mom finally snapped at him with, "No, actually Helen has gotten any commissions this month, so there's nothing in the PayPal." All cuz Dave doesn't want to admit that I've brought $16K in just through commissions alone.

#poverty #homelessness #gofundme #ko-fi #watermelonsmellinfellon

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so-i-did-this-thing · 1 year

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Moving update

I'm grateful to the folks checking in on me and @crowtoed and thought I'd drop a quick update.

We're almost done putting all non-essentials in storage. The many bins are an investment in case we have to do this again. (I have already started researching shipping containers for an overseas move.) I'm going to buy storage unit insurance this week because I have more valuables stowed away than standard homeowners will cover.

My storage unit is almost the same size as the moving truck, which makes it easy to guage if I have to purge/store anything that won't fit. I'm going to hire the biggest trailer from upack.com when it's time to leave. The prices are amazing - less than $4k to move to Connecticut.

The Florida realtor (a condo expert) is viewing my place tomorrow, and with her advice, we'll start on final repairs/refreshes (this place is 23 years old, about when things like windows and tile get rather iffy). My mother graciously gifted me money to cover the majority of the fixes. This move would be a lot harder without her help.

Mom is also letting us stay short-term in her MiL suite a few towns over, so we can sell my condo asap. That means we don't have to worry about timing the purchase of the new house with closing on the old. Plus, I should have a few paychecks rent-free I can sock away / apply towards mutual aid.

We're hoping the condo sells by June or so. Once that happens, I'll use some of the funds towards old debt to nudge my credit rating ever closer to 800 (it's 778 rn, a multi-year project as I used to be in the 400s). Most of the rest of the money will be earmarked for a generous down payment on the new home.

We're still looking in Connecticut and have a realtor there as well. If it's possible, we can afford to fly up a few times to check out houses. The realtor told us our budget for what we want (1500sq ft or larger) is totally doable. The housing market there is weirdly reasonable.

Work is incredibly kind and has said if I need more than 2 weeks to move, I can take whatever time I need. I am fully remote now and blessed to be part of such a progressive company.

We still have some household and personal things to sell, but it's more out of "I no longer like/need this" than an urgent need for money. But thank you to everyone who has offered cash. It means so much to us to have such a strong safety net. If this happened even 5 years ago, we'd have been up shit creek.

Once we close on the new house, we'll drive up asap to move in. This is when we'll know our route and we'll connect with folks along it who have offered to be pitstops for us and the cats. The moving truck will meet us there in 5-7 business days after we leave Orlando.

My HRT Rx also got renewed for 6 months, and with my current stash + a little rationing, I shouldn't have any interruption with my shots, even if pharmacies start refusing me come July.

We're hoping to be all settled in the new home come October, but are dependant on the housing market. But we're stacking as many chips in our favor as we can.

Again, thank you, thank you to everyone who has reached out. I'll update again when something major changes.

#trans stuff #rrramblings #love you all

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annaholak · 1 year

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Inktober, Tiffany Aching, Barbie, and a General Life Update

The Plan: Read the Tiffany Aching books during the summer, re-make her, and use her as the main character for my next Inktober.

The Reality: while I was finishing Cupid Cafe my landlord decided to sell the apartment I've been renting for over a decade. It was an extremely shitty one (no heating, broken air-conditioning units, dark, moldy, etc), but it was dirty cheap, and the best I could afford.

It was sold in mid-June, and the new owner (surprising no one) wanted to raise the rent. I don't know how the rental market is wherever you live, but here (in Athens, Greece) it's a right nightmare (Airbnb has a lot to answer for...). I couldn't find anything in the same price bracket that wasn't basically a tiny basement-turned-into-a-studio. I was panicking. Heavily.

In the end a (really good) friend came to my rescue. She convinced her mom (who had moved to her vacation home during the pandemic) to rent me the city apartment she was rarely using anymore. With the same money I was paying for the previous one. A fucking life saver let me tell you.

It's a much bigger, and generally much nicer, one than the previous shithole I was living in. I finally have enough space for an actual studio. It's also in a much nicer neighbourhood. One I normally would not be able to afford. Lots of green spaces, and very pet friendly (I don't have a pet at the moment, but I'm greatly enjoying meeting all the happy puppers on their walks, whenever I'm out and about).

I moved in in mid-July. I'm still working on it, as I've been going through a lot of the things I had in storage, deciding what to keep, donate, or throw away, and that takes time. The studio is still a mess, but here is a sneak peek of my current working space (the walls were supposed to be lilac, but I'm not complaining - Peppa-the-pig pink it is):

Anyway, back to Inktober. As you can imagine I had hardly the time to read anything during the summer, so the Tiffany Aching idea will have to wait. I also felt extremely uninspired by this year's Inktober prompts. I dug around a bit and found a prompt list I actually like. It's the Mystical Witchtober one, hosted by agingerly aianaiya isabee Madie Meri Marigona Suli Aria and Talita on Instagram. Here's the prompt list (by isabee):

As I was going through the things I've had in storage I found some of my childhood Barbie magazines and sticker albums. So I'm thinking of riding the nostalgia wave, and turning my Witchtober into a slightly Barbie-esque, and a bit late 1980's/early 1990's themed, witch-vampire romance.

I will be working on it at a rather leisurely pace, since I'm still busy working on my new space, and also recovering from a recurring freak throat infection I've had since mid-August (was it strep? was it mono? Who knows? Not my doctors). I've been through two rounds of antibiotics and I'm still not completely well, so please be patient with me.

I think that's all for now. Stick around for a very soft and pink Witchtober. And worry not, I have a lot of Wyrd Sisters things planned once this one is over.

P.S.

Oh yeah, I've also somehow managed in the middle of all the chaos to acquire a new boyfriend. Which hasn't happened in a while. So that's nice.

P.P.S. (bonus for still reading this essay of an update)

I made last year's Wyrd Sisters Abroad Inktober into a zine for the Comicdom Con in May. In true ADHD fashion it was written at five a.m. the morning it had to be at the printer's, after the third all nighter in a row. So typos were inevitable. But the fact that this was the only typo that made it through to the printed version, had me giggling uncontrollably once I discovered it (a couple of months later, it took me a while). Enjoy:

#funny magrat bonus at the end #I think sir terry was having a laugh #oh the irony that is my life #long post #long time no see #personal #new studio #wyrd sisters #inktober #witchtober #barbie

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brainmaniaman · 2 years

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I have been scouring this fucking app for Julian fics, never really occurred to I can just request some lol.

So yeah, if you're up for it I've got a little plot/trope set up that'd id love to see. Outsider(fem)reader/julian.

Something along the lines of a reader moving into the park from the southern us, new to Canada and parks in general. As an outsider, Julian expected you to be trouble or judgemental, so he acts like a dick to you at first. Later on, he starts to see instead how kind you are to everyone, understanding and totally up for doing ppl favors even when there's nothing for you in the end. This makes him feel real guilty for bein an ass to you, and also makes him start to feel other things towards u.. Take the fic in whatever direction you'd I wanna see u work ur magic

( + no pressure 2 write it ofc!!)

pairing: julian/fem!reader fandom: trailer park boys tags: smut (cis man/cis woman), fluff, a bit of angst, idk this is one of my more normal ones, heavy plot some porn (i kind of felt more plot focused with this one), julian is kind of hung (he gives me big dick energy) author's note: i'm much more of a ricky kinda guy myself but when i got this request, i got really fucking excited. i loved the idea. i will say, this fic isn't structured traditionally. it's very dialogue heavy and kind of leaves some things up to the imagination. i wanted to establish relationships between the reader and other people in the park as well as share some of julian's private conversations about her. i'm really proud of the way this has turned out, though i'm sorry if it's not the interpretation you might have been hoping for (i'm a little insecure about the way i interpret storylines). i hope you like it, though. i worked hard on it and i'm pretty sure it's the longest julian/reader fic currently on the internet so i'm going to take that fucking win rn. also, i actually live in the southern united states. (fun fact: i'm looking to move because i'm a trans man and life here is kind of ass if you're trans), so i gave the reader a backstory that's kind of unique to what a woman in 1999-2000 would have gone through. i'm not satisfied with the ending though, i'm sorry if this fic is a little lackluster, but we can only go up from here i guess. text blocking this shit was a fucking BITCH. word count: 6,442

everything i've ever let go of has claw marks on it.

The cultural climate of Sunnyvale Trailer Park wasn't exactly the most inviting. There were people who lived in the park and then there was everyone else. For the most part, newcomers never lasted more than a few weeks. The bottle kids drove away the weakest among them, but if those kids weren't effective usually Ricky's antics drove away the remaining lot. Sure, there were a few people here and there who moved in quietly, but those were usually the kind of people that minded their own business because lot rent was low enough for them to just ignore Lahey.

But in general, new people were not welcome. Especially know-it-all hipsters trying to live the simple life by casting away their possessions in an expensive storage unit and downsizing to a more humble trailer. Those were the kinds of guys that gave up quickly. Plus, new people threatened the balance of park politics. For the most part, Julian was well-liked and well-respected among the others due to his caring nature and dedication to his loved ones. He protected his own. And if there was one thing Julian didn't like, it was newcomers coming into the park without already knowing someone in it.

"Barb, I really think you should reconsider letting this girl in. I mean, you don't even know who she is."

"Julian, this is a business, not a family estate. Her credit was just below decent, she has an okay-paying job, and paid three months of rent in advance. From a business perspective, she seems like she'll be a reliable tenant. It's a good thing you've grown close with your community, but you have to remember at the end of the day, this trailer park is here to make money. Whatever fit of paranoia you're suffering through, deal with it on your own time. Next time you come here with a complaint, make sure it's a business one."

And just like that, Barb had shooed Julian off. What more could he say to that? Well, he had a lot more to say to that but she didn't want to listen. Every time he opened his mouth to speak, she only guided him further to the door. If Julian thought he was the one who ran this trailer park, he had another thing coming for him that's what. This dump needed more reliable tenants - normal folks who didn't like to get into trouble. Barb was trying to turn the park's image around.

"Julian, I just don't understand why you're so against this lady stayin' here. You know I'm no fan of newcomers myself, but she's been mindin' her own. She actually keeps her yard clean, which is pretty fuckin' nice if you ask me. It's nice to pass a yard that doesn't have a million fuckin' pieces of trash thrown all over the front. She even has one of those pink fuckin' yard flamingos in her yard. It's so bright and colorful. There ain't nothin' wrong with a little bit of color, Julian. Ain't nothin' wrong with a little bit of change."

"Are you even listening to yourself talk Bubbles? Can you hear what you're saying? You're saying change for this park is good. Who knows what she believes in. She might hate dope growers, she may be workin' with Lahey, she could get nosy and bust us for dope and you know Ricky and I are growin' a lot of dope -"

"- I know, I've seen that big fuckin' setup you got in that fuckin' trailer in that shitty little lot -"

"- so then Bubbles you should know that new people aren't good. We can't trust new people, especially not now. Especially not when we're so close to selling them to those prison guards and retiring. A stranger could compromise the whole thing. Remember those bible scammers that came through here? I've learned my lesson since then and I'm not tryna repeat old mistakes."

"Jesus Murphy Julian, you need to calm down. Those fuckin' assholes were obviously scammers, it's not like this lady is goin' door to door scammin' people."

"Sure maybe she's not taking advanced orders on bibles Bubbles, but she is goin' in and out of everyone's house doin' favors for them. Why does she need to see the inside of everyone's house? Do you think she's lookin' for something?"

"Have you ever stopped to think that maybe she's just a nice person doin' a nice thing? Nice people exist. You've been dealin' with dope and crime and jail so much that it's like you forgot how to trust someone. All you think about is dope and how you're going to protect it from everyone else."

"You're only defendin' her because she brings you boxes of canned cat foods for your cats. She's buyin' you off and you don't even know it."

"So what if she's helpin' me take care of my kitties? My kitties are the most important things to me and unlike you, she fuckin' knows that. If someone's offering to help take care of my precious little kitties, who the fuck am I to say no?"

"Bubbles, look -"

"No, no, nevermind." Bubbles tucks a gray cat further into his arms, his posture becoming more rigid. It's clear that he's done with the conversation, no longer interested in trying to hammer commonsense into Julian's brain. He couldn't see past his own paranoia and it was infuriating. In Julian's mind, everyone in the world was out to get him - even the nice lady across the street who helped his friend support his kitties. "You just don't get it, Julian. I'm goin' back home, come talk to me when you get it."

Julian was still convinced he was right about this girl. If the bottle kids didn't run you out, he'd just take matters into his own hands. He didn't care whether or not Bubbles helped. Julian was a man of many connections, and even if he couldn't find someone else to get the job done he had no qualms with taking care of the situation himself.

"I mean, if you think that lady's dangerous then you know I'm gonna follow you Julian 'cause you got the brains and stuff behind the projector, but I just gotta let you know I'm still workin' on my grade ten so whatever idea you have you got to make sure it's not illegal 'cause I can't go back to jail, not right before Trinity's birthday. That means we can't do any property damage or breaking and entering or any shit like that."

"I promise you Ricky we're not gonna go back to jail, we're just gonna annoy the shit out of her until she leaves. I was thinkin' maybe you and Cory and Trevor could host like a really loud party across the street tomorrow night, you know - something to keep her awake. If we get a noise complaint, we'll just shut it down, but then once the cops leave we'll start it back up again. We'll do this for a few nights until she finally decides to move out."

"That's a pretty fucking good idea, that's smart. Plus, since it's a party we can get drunk and high."

It's 2 a.m. and that fucking party is still going. There were several times you considered calling in a noise complaint but you decided that it was a better idea to just wait it out. It had to end at some point and overall, it was never a good idea to get involved with parties like that because sometimes they got out of a hand, and you were too smart to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Though when you stepped outside to 'check your mailbox' - spy on the party still going on into the early hours of the morning - you find yourself tripping over something. You stumble onto your hands and knees and it's only when you pull yourself up do you really get a good look at the man passed out by your mailbox. It's Ricky, and he's mumbling things almost incoherently. He mutters something about dope, bitches, Trinity, more bitches, Lucy, and good booze. It's a pathetic way to be, but you can't help but feel bad for you.

You use the toe of your shoe to rock his face awake. Ricky sputters before waking up in a drunk panic. He's angry and yelling incoherently, but your promise of a hot shower and a hot sandwich satiates his anger. He struggles his way through a shower, though almost slips a few times. He eats hand to mouth, chewing loudly, and drunk conversation ensues. He shares a lot with you - stuff he probably wouldn't have shared sober. He eventually passes out, not remembering much in the morning. That morning you share breakfast and a little bit about each other. He tried to hate you, he really did, but you were charismatic in a friendly way. There weren't any ulterior motives, you just enjoyed conversation.

"I don't know Julian, she seems fine to me. I mean, she's not all that bad. Her yard is pretty clean and you know, she has that pink little flamingo in her yard and honestly it's pretty fuckin' cute. I mean yeah she's kinda annoying and I hate that fuckin' southern fuckin' cowboy accent she fucking has but whatever. I think you're gettin' worked up over nothin'. You've been so busy tryna push out this lady who hasn't done nothin' wrong to you while I'm over here slavin' away watchin' after these fuckin' dope plants and tryin' to study for my grade ten all while play peepin' tom spy guy on some poor fuckin' lady."

"You're just saying that 'cause she let you spend the night and made you breakfast."

"You know what I sure as fuck I am! She made me breakfast and kept me from sleepin' on the fuckin' ground drunk as piss and let me use her shower and shit and I didn't even have to put out! It's not like I trust her or anything like that - I didn't talk about dope or nothin' like that at all." That was the truth. "It's just at this point anything is better than fucking Cory and Trevor. I'm not sayin' you gotta like her or trust her, but she's not all that bad Julian. Maybe if you actually got to fuckin' know her like I have you'd see that you're just being a paranoid dickbag."

"You know what Ricky, you don't anything about her. You're just seeing what she wants you to see. But I'm smart, so I see right through it -"

"Come on Julian don't be like that -"

"- and since nobody is going to take care of this fucking situation then I guess I'll have to."

Julian felt like everyone around him was failing him. Nobody else seemed to feel the same way he did about your existence in the trailer park. As each day passed, Julian grew more overtly snide. When approaching Ricky and Bubbles, Julian never took the time to acknowledge you. It was obvious that he was just being an ass, so you opted to ignore it, preferring not to fight. Silence was Julian's strongest weapon. But as the days ticked by, the tension between you and Julian only seemed to mount itself higher.

It's not like you inherently disliked Julian. In fact, you liked to believe that there was good in everyone and you prided yourself in your ability to be able to pull even the toughest people out of their shell. However, Julian was no easy project. Every time you tried to approach him, he simply brushed you off. You weren't even sure that the two of you had even exchanged any greetings. He hadn't even said hello. So when trying to talk to him didn't work, you simply tried to stay out of his way. This was frustrating for Julian because what he wanted you to do was to blow up and make it a big ordeal. But you didn't. You simply kept to yourself and resumed helping others around the park without complaints.

There were times where Julian thought about approaching you in the way Julian thinks about approaching any pretty thing in a summer dress that talks to him. But he remains strong in the face of adversity. Gone were the days of chasing anything in a dress. He had a dope business to worry about.

But sometimes the thought would creep up onto Julian ever so slowly. Sometimes, he'd get this kind of fantasy in his head - especially on the Sunday afternoons you'd spend gently pushing yourself back and forth in your rocking chair, enjoying the summer sunlight. He could think of a million ways you two could enjoy the afternoon together, but he often pushed the thought out of his head. He had a park to protect. Friends to protect.

"You know, you have some real nerve comin' up here in this trailer park and putting on a show like you're doing."

You look up from the rocking chair you were gently pushing yourself back and forth in and offer Julian a small smile.

"So you're Julian?"

Julian can't help but be a bit enamored with your slight southern drawl. It sounds like you're somewhere from the deep southern United States - one of those more rural provinces like Texas or Alabama. He can't quite pinpoint the accent, but he secretly finds it endearing.

"And how do you know that?"

"I mean, with how much you do for the people here it's kind of hard not to know who you are. Plus, Ricky and Lucy both never seem to shut up about you. You know, if I didn't know any better I'd say they're both in love with you or something. Also, yesterday you came to pick up Ricky and he pointed right at you and said well, there's Julian, see ya later. I just put two and two together."

"I'm not here to make small talk, (name)."

"Then what are you here to do, Julian?"

There's silence. What is he here to do. There wasn't anything that he could reasonably do and he wasn't the terrorizing type if he didn't have to be. Fuck, he had even promised that his greasy trouble-causing days were over. But here he was, standing at the edge of the patio stairs, contemplating whether or not he should threaten a woman.

"I'm just here to ask you about your intentions with Ricky, that's all."

You can't help but laugh out loud at the comment. "Oh, please. There's nothing going on between us."

Julian knows that because if there was something going on between you and Ricky, Ricky wouldn't shut up about it and the whole park would know. But he's trying to be covert about his intent to interrogate you.

"Yeah, well . . . there better not be . . . Ricky's a good guy and I'd really hate to see him get hurt . . ."

"Why are you really here, Julian?"

Julian stands in silence, thoughtfully cradling his glass in his hand as he tries to come up with a clever lie - but it's hard to think when he catches a glimpse of your thighs pressed together underneath your thin summer dress. He squints and then looks away briefly.

"I just wanted to stop by and tell you more about the culture of Sunnyvale. You know, we're really tight-knit. Like family."

"I know."

"And you know, family protects family."

"I know."

"And you know, I'd do anything for my family."

"I know."

"Anything."

"What are you getting at?"

"I'm not getting at anything, (name). I'm just givin' you a little more info about our park, just trying to get acquainted with you."

"Oh, you're trying to get acquainted with me? This is the first time I've spoken to you in the month I've been living here."

"Well, you know, I was busy with the business I'm running -"

"- that lawn mowing business you and Ricky got?"

Is that what Ricky is calling it? "Yeah, we've had a lot of customers so I've been having to do a lot of bookwork to keep up with the business you know. But it's been busy, so I haven't had time to talk, but now I do and I want to get to know you."

"You want to get to know me?"

"That's what I just said isn't it?"

"Well I'll tell you what Julian," You push the chair backwards in thought, looking up at the bright summer sky. The sun shines in your face, warming your skin. It's a nice feeling. "If you really want to get to know me, you'll come over for dinner tonight."

Julian wasn't going to admit it but he was excited at the prospect of dinner. The last time he shared time - much less a meal - with a woman, she ended up stealing his dope plants and lying to him about being in love. In all fairness, most people would have been wary of someone saying I love you within the first week of getting to know them, but Julian (for the most part) was a hopeless romantic. He liked the idea of a life with someone else.

Julian told himself that this was strictly business - that he was here to set the record straight. This wasn't get-to-know-you dinner, this wasn't a date. He was just here to let you know that he wasn't going to tolerate funny business. He just happened to be wearing his nicest clean black shirt and he just happened to be wearing one of his nicer pair of jeans - the ones that didn't have the holes in them. Julian knocks on your door. The two minutes he waits for you to answer feels like an eternity but when you open the door, he's glad he's waited.

"You got a hot date you're going to after this?"

"What, this?" You look down at the pink summer dress you're wearing, "This is casual." You had always been the more feminine type, enjoying softer clothes and pretty dresses. Plus, unlike jeans dresses were more comfortable. You usher him inside and he obliges, being careful to not spill his drink when he steps in.

"Dinner is served." Dinner being a massive fucking bowl of macaroni and cheese with cheap ass hot dogs. "Sorry it's not exactly the best, but -"

"It's fine, don't worry about it." Julian sets his glass down. He's actually ecstatic. Macaroni and cheese and fucking hotdogs? "You know, I don't know where you're from but around here this is a five-star meal."

You give a dry laugh. as Julian picks up his fork to eat. "You'll have to forgive me, I'm kind of new to the whole trailer park life and the whole being poor thing."

"Oh yeah? Where are you from?"

"Southern United States."

"What state?"

"Texas."

"That's a long way from here, basically on the other side of the continent. Why'd you come up this way?" Julian tells himself that he's not trying to get to know you because he's interested in you - he's trying to get to know you to get dirt on you, to know what he's up against.

"I needed an abortion." You answer dryly, "And even though it's been legal for some years now, no physician was wiling to perform one on me."

"Why come to Nova Scotia? Why not just go to another state?"

"Well, I figured things were just better here than they were there. Don't get me wrong, it's not perfect by any means but it's better than where I was from. At least here I know if I need the service again, it's a little more reliably accessible. Plus, it's not like I had anywhere or anyone I could turn to. So I just kind of . . . stayed."

"Heavy stuff." Julian sets down his fork, "Didn't have any family to turn to?"

"No, and even if I did they're not the kind of people I'd want to be around."

Julian could relate to that.

"So you just came to Canada for an abortion and then decided to stay? You know, when Americans come to Canada they want to go to Quebec. Nova Scotia isn't exactly on the top of the list, let alone Dartmouth. Let alone fucking Sunnyvale Trailer Park. Nobody just moves in here. Come on, (name) . . . what's the real reason why you're staying here?"

Your mouth runs dry as you consider answering him honestly. "Well, uh . . . you know . . ." You twiddle your thumbs a bit, "I came to Canada with my passport and got my abortion and then . . . I just uh . . ." There's a long pause as your appetite disappears completely. "I didn't have anywhere to go to so I just . . . never left . . . this place was the only place that'd rent to an illegal resident . . ."

"Holy fuck you don't have your papers?" Julian wasn't sure what kind of story he was expecting but it wasn't that. Now he feels like an asshole. "How did you get a job? How did you even afford this place?"

"Well, I had some savings so that was a good cushion, but when that ran out I was able to find a job working as a waitress at that little restaurant just out of town. I'm not technically on the payroll, they just don't make me report my tips, and any extra money is kind of . . . earned under the table." You respond sheepishly.

God, Julian feels like such a fucking jackass for being a raging asshole to you.

"That's . . . hard." Julian doesn't really know what else to say.

"Yeah."

"Well, I've shared my deepest darkest secret with you. Do you want to share anything with me?"

You and Julian talk well into the early hours of the morning, swapping life stories, funny anecdotes, and talking about all of the small things in between. Honestly, he feels at ease with you in a way he hasn't felt at ease before. The conversation flows naturally and even the silence you occasionally fall into feels comfortable. It's nearly two in the morning when you both look at the small clock hanging on your wall and realize the time.

". . . well, it's a little late . . ." You stretch in your chair, still sitting across the table from Julian. You don't really want him to go, but you've both run out of things to talk about and you still have some errands you have to run before work tomorrow. "You know, I have some things I gotta do tomorrow . . . but if you're feeling nice, maybe you can pay me back for dinner by making some for me. I'm usually too tired to cook when I get home . . . you know, only if you want to."

It's hard for Julian to say no to that face.

"What time do you get off work?"

. . .

Julian continues to insist that he doesn't feel some kind of way, that he's just taking the opportunity to really get to know you - you know, in case you ever pose a threat - but the nightly dinner-dates seem to differ.

"Why is it so hard to admit that you have a hard-on for (name)? It's so fucking obvious."

"It's not like that Ricky. You know, I have somewhere to be so why don't you just fuck off and give me some fucking space?"

"Oh yeah I know exactly where you want to be, all up in -"

The truth of the matter was that even though Julian fantasized about it at night, truly nothing had happened. You were sweet, kind, intelligent, patient, compassionate - a truly wonderful person. And that was the problem. Normally, Julian found himself happy to jump into a relationship, but he found himself afraid of making a fool of himself. Guys like him didn't get with girls like you. Simple as that. Besides, love just wasn't in the cards for Julian. It just never worked out like that.

Tonight was yet another night of disappointment. You had lingered on Julian's doorstep after dinner, hoping that maybe he'd make a move and at least give you a kiss goodnight - but the two of you simply stood there awkwardly until he nodded, saying he was probably going to go off to bed now. It was frustrating because you thought you were sending all of the right signals. Light touches, flirtatious giggles, risque comments - the works. But yet again, you find yourself leaving empty-handed. It wasn't that you weren't satisfied with the friendship, you really liked the dynamic the two of you had. You liked that Julian showed you ways to save money, ways to spruce up the trailer home so it felt more roomy, showed you around town a bit - but it left you feeling a bit stupid because you could have sworn the two of you had something more. You could just feel it. But he never addressed it and it drove you crazy.

You knock on the door nervously, your hands shaking.

Julian answers the door again. "What's going on?"

"I don't want to go home just yet. This is about the time J-Roc films his adult films. Can I just sit here for thirty more minutes? He usually finishes up around one in the morning or so."

"Uh, yeah, sure, come on in. You can hang out here. I have to shower because, you know, I got somewhere to be in the morning -" Tomorrow was the day he was supposed to drop off the product with the prison guards, "- normally I'd wait up but I got some important stuff I gotta take care of tomorrow. I'm about to get ready for bed, so you can just leave whenever you're ready."

"Alright."

You find yourself sitting awkwardly on the couch as Julian disappears into the bathroom. The trailer shakes a bit when he turns on the water and you can hear the pipes rush before the water falls like rain into the tub. You sit in silence and contemplate. You couldn't keep going back and forth like this, it'd get nowhere. He had hinted a few times at maybe having feelings. Sometimes his hand would linger on the small of your back too long when he was moving past you, or he'd stand too close to you - so close your shoulders would touch - whenever he got the chance. But nothing would ever come of it, and you were tired of it. You think about maybe joining him in the shower but that's too ballsy of a move, so you simply sit there and listen to the shower run until it's turned off. There's more shuffling and you can hear him go into his room. The hallway light turns off and the door clicks close. You should probably get going by now, but you can't bring yourself to just leave.

. . .

You feel like a psychopath drifting down the hallway. You only came down here to use the bathroom, but now you were standing at his bedroom door - contemplating whether or not you should knock on the door.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Ricky, is that you? I told you to stop picking my fucking lock -"

"No," You answer meekly, "It's me. I uh, wanted to take that book back I lent you before I went home. I didn't see it in your living room so I figured you might be keeping it in here."

Julian stares up at the ceiling in thought. Julian is pretty book-smart and it doesn't take a genius to know the game you're running. He's been down this road a thousand times. He wants to say yes, but there's still the lingering fear of ruining the good friendship that's already there.

Julian turns his head to look at his nightstand, the small paperback book sat there. Shit, maybe you weren't playing any games.

"Yeah, give me a moment, I'll come bring it to you."

"You don't have to go through that trouble, I'll just come get it real quick . . . if that's alright with you."

". . . that's alright with me."

You gently push the door open, slipping through before gently closing the door behind you. You can only see the outline of Julian's body in the dark, a few shadows illuminated by the moonlight that drifts in through the blinds.

"It's right over here." You see the shadow of Julian's hand reach over and grab the thick book. Infinite Jest.

"I'll come get it." You pull yourself up onto the bed, you're knees on either side of his feet. Gently, you shimmy your way up, crawling over him on your hands and knees. Julian shifts a bit. Both of your breaths are heavy and as you sit yourself comfortably on his waist, you watch his chest rise and fall with heavy breaths. Gently, you pluck the book from his hand. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Julian's voice is barely over a whisper.

You thumb through the thick book, landing on a page barely illuminated by the moonlight, reading the page you've thumbed to. "Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it." Truer words have never been spoken. Like everything in life, Julian has sunk his fingernails so deep into it he's drawn blood. He likes to pretend he can let things go, but he can't.

Julian's hands gently grip at your hips, squeezing them softly - almost like he's afraid that if he squeezes too tight he'll hurt you. His fingers grip at your waist, gently pushing your hips backwards, guiding them in a gentle rocking motion against him. Your hips follow the movement of his hands, rocking against him with a pleased hum.

"Is that right?" Julian asks in a whisper.

"That's right." You respond gently.

"Me included?" He can't hope that you want him so bad that you'd sink your nails so deep into him that he'd never be able to leave you, even if he wanted to. And even if you wanted to leave him, he'd probably stay around and beg for you to take him back anyway.

"If you'll let me."

If he wasn't rock hard before he's rock fucking hard now. "I want you." Julian's voice is hoarse, completely contradicting his typically firm and masculine present. He melts under you. Whether he wanted to believe it or not, Julian was a romantic and the touch of a woman he really valued meant a lot to him. His breath is labored as he guides your hips against him, "Please, I want you."

If this were someone else in the park, it'd be a different story. Sleeping around with people in the park for Julian wasn't about emotions, it was about releasing a physical need, and when you can't keep a boyfriend sometimes you have to turn to your neighbors for some help. Everyone slept with everyone. But you're not them, this isn't just casual for Julian - he doesn't want to fuck it up. He shudders when your fingertips drag across his chest, tracing patterns and circles into his shirt as you rock against him, grinding your hips downwards to create more friction. You're a tease, you take your time, and he hates it but he loves it. Two large hands reach up to cup your breasts over your shirt gently, His hands trail downwards, over your abdomen, grabbing gently at your stomach for a short moment before finding themselves at the hem of your shirt.

"What are you waiting for?" You ask him between small breaths, still making rhytmic riding motions. It's a softly-asked question but also a plea for action. "Please, Julian. I've wanted this since the moment I saw you."

"God, fuck you're so fucking hot." It's like a flip switched in his head and he can't hold himself back anymore. Strong hands placed firmly on your hips flip you onto your back. Now he's on top of you, every part of him everywhere. His lips touch yours in a kiss, teeth pull at the skin of your neck, and tongue sooths the freshly bruised areas by rubbing itself on it in small circles. Like always, he can't help himself, and unlike recently, he stops wasting time.

Your shirt is the first thing to come off - Julian helps shimmy it off of you, throwing it to the side. The next thing to come off is your pajama pants, which he also tosses to the side after helping shimmy it off of you. He has half a mind to compliment the pretty color of your underwear and tell you it looks good on you, but he doesn't pay it any mind since it's about to come off anyways. His hands lift you up by the small of your back just long enough for him to unclasp your bra, letting you fall back down onto the bed. His hands hook underneath your knees, lifting them up and pushing your legs up so he can help slide your underwear easily off of your body. You're left naked under him while he remains fully clothed, lowering himself onto you before you can complain that he hasn't undressed yet.

His thumbs roll against your nipples, gently pinching and pulling at them before taking them into his mouth. Julian has never been the most gentle lover, especially when he gets excited, always eager to take matters into his own hands - but that's part of his appeal.

Kisses trail down your stomach, followed by him dragging his tongue along the skin, pushing your legs apart. He takes his time adorning your inner thighs with kisses, sucking on the skin and taking it between his teeth. He likes the way he makes you whimper and moan, it's intoxicating. But eventually the teasing becomes too much even for him, he's growing impatient, so he lends his tongue to you, circling it around your clit, strong nose pressed into sensitive skin.

Your body writhes as you feel a familiar pressure build in your abdomen, thighs tightening around his head so tight he thought he might suffocate. What a way to go that would be. Your fingers curl into his short hair, gripping and pulling at his hair while your toes curl. You whimper but that only encourages him to slowly push his thick index finger into you, followed by a second after you properly adjusted. His mouth and fingers work in tandem, his fingers curling and pressing inside of you in a come hither motion while his tongue continues to stroke your clit.

"Fuck, Julian, god, fuck -" But before you can climax, he's gone - pulling away. If Julian enjoys anything, it's edging. There's just something about bringing a woman to climax and leaving them nearly in tears that turns him on.

"You look disappointed." Julian catches a glimpse of your lopsided frown illuminated in the moonlight, "Don't worry, I'll take care of it." His shirt is pulled over his head, exposing his bare chest. When you touch the muscle, it's firm from years of consistent working-out. You trace a tattoos that look like they were done with a sewing needle and ink - probably stick and poke tattoos - but Julian frowns. He doesn't like those tattoos, he's not proud of them and he's not proud of his time spent in jail. But you only offer him an encouraging smile and place your palm over the tattoo before dragging your hand down to his belt, pulling at the buckle. Julian offers you a half-hearted smile. "Can't wait?"

Julian pushes your hand out of the way gently, taking his time to unfasten his belt and slowly pulling it through the loops. The belt is tossed to the side, along with his pants and underwear, leaving you both equals. Two hands hook themselves underneath your knees, placing your ankles on his shoulders while he uses his right hand to stroke his cock a bit, helping to harden himself up more. Sometimes the nerves just get to you.

"Holy fuck Julian you're big, you gotta be careful with that thing you're carrying a whole fucking concealed weapon -"

Julian chuckles a bit at the comment but presses a gentle kiss to your ankles. "I'll be careful with you if that's what you're trying to say."

The tip is pushed in slowly with great discomfort, pushing himself in. There's a stiff moment of silence as you let out a labored breath.

"You good?" he asks.

You nod, dragging your teeth over your bottom lip. Julian takes his thumb against your bottom lip, peeling it out from underneath your teeth. His thumb drags your bottom lip down, exposing the inside of it before pushing his thumb into your mouth. Your lips wrap around his thumb, letting your tongue slide against the skin, sucking on the appendage as he pulls out just a bit, repositioning himself before he thrusts back in. Your body pushes upwards with the motion, head pressing against the headboard slightly. His thumb is still pressed in your mouth while his free hand keeps hooked underneath your knee, pushing it backwards so he can angle himself better - each thrust pushing itself deeper inside of you. Sweat coats his chest and runs down the side of his face, abdomen flexing the closer he gets to coming, but he restrains himself - wanting to ride it out for as long as he could.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Oh, God, Julian -"

"Fuck, (name)."

"Julian -"

"(Name), (Name), (Name)."

"I heard you did a real good job of running that girl out of the trailer park last night, Julian."

"Hey, Barbara, why don't you fuck off?"

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