#bush hogging
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Gay yallternative country girl's bio
"You can find me listening to music while bush hogging"
Me: "Well I happen to be a bit of a bush hog myself ;)"
#bush hogging#lol#country#country girl#yalternative#yallternative#lesbian#country lesbian#cowgirl#lesbian cowgirl#brokeback mountain#lgbt#pride#lgbt pride#gay#bi#trans#dating app bio
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the red river hog has enraptured me mind body and soul.
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forgot how funny hot boy summer is im listening to the blazing babe eps and fully crying laughing less than 15 minutes in
#‘i might have to jerk off in august. you guys do hog-ust?’#and them sidebarring then trying (and missing) foor beating up dave#‘a podiatrist came through the bushes and hexed our friend’#BANGER AFTER BANGER#naddpod#t
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forgot how much i loved the conquest of toichiro suzuki
#big foot. bush hog. furby face. handsome in a not handsome (ugly) way.#this fic's got it all and i am HERE for it#and i really like the way they describe suzuki's eyes like. yeah. he really does have dead fish eyes except for when he doesn't#he kinda reminds me of jack merridew from the lord of the flies book here#anyways this is the fic that suzukipilled me it's not even good in the slightest but it's a comedy and that's what im here for#i drafted this in april but im showing the class now#(clearing out drafts)#(bored)#milk (normal)#suzuki tag
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Baty Land and Forestry Management | Forestry Mulching Services | Bush Hogging Services in Sequatchie TN
We are your dependable and trustworthy go-to for exceptional Forestry Mulching Services in Chattanooga TN. Our skilled team utilizes advanced equipment to efficiently clear dense vegetation and unwanted trees, leaving behind nutrient-rich mulch. Whether it's land clearing, wildfire prevention, or creating firebreaks, we have the expertise to handle projects of all sizes. With our commitment to sustainable practices, we'll help you reclaim your property. Moreover, acquiring our top-notch Bush Hogging Services in Sequatchie TN will help you tame unruly fields and rough terrain. From clearing brush and tall grass to maintaining pastures and large properties, we have you covered. So, if you need our expert assistance, call us today.
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#Forestry Mulching Services in Chattanooga TN#Bush Hogging Services in Sequatchie TN#Excavating Contractors near me#Tree Trimming Service near me#Land Cleaning Services near me
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not quite my pace...
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these two will now destroy. geee thanks.
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bees do stuff with their little feet on flowers like it’s the most important thing they’ve ever done like they’re on a mission zoned in on the teeniest flower you’ve ever seen like by god there’s No time to waste we have to pollinate this luscious urban meadow with sparse weedy outer reaches mowed by a guy on a bush hog by 6 pm sharp
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Knuckle Tattoos
The original post got reblog locked sometime after I que'd it, so I'm just gonna make a new post
REAL SHIT
SLOW RIDE
LIFE DEBT
FREE BIRD
DANK JAMS
MEAN DUDE
BUTT FUNK
PIES CAKE
LOVE PIGS
PISS POOP
WHAT OHNO
YA'LL QUIT
BANG BOOM
FIST CITY
FULL TANK
DICK RIDE
YEAH DUDE
HELL BABE
MAKE BANK
BULK RATE
TOLL TIME
BELL TOLL
SINK SWIM
JUNK CRAP
FAST FOOD
LOAD FILE
MORE CATS
TACO BELL (yes I know)
LIKE DOGS
FULL TILT
HARD ROAD
PILL BUGS
NICE HATS
DICK TITS
PICK NOSE
FEET PICS
SICK HOSE
TREE BUSH
LIFE LIMB
LOVE BOAT
SHOE LACE
FLIP FLOP
PROM DATE
NOPE YUCK
BALL HAIR
CONE HEAD
DAMN YANK
LATE NITE
TOES YEAH
FISH LOAF
GOSH DANG
SPIT FIRE
COLD CALL
FLAT TIRE
THAT DUDE
WHOM THIS
FULL TIME
PART TIME
SOUP TIME
LICE COMB
LOOK HERE
HAIR CUTS
KISS TELL
WAIT KEYS
BEEN SEEN
WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
WAIT MORE
CRAN BURY
FEEL OKAY
COOL DOGS
BUTT JOKE
FART SONG
POPE NOPE
TOTE BAGS
SHIN LEGS
DRUM SOME
DONG GONE
YULE LOGS
STAR BUTT
PAID RENT
DOWN TOWN
SHIP SURE
BEND OVER
SEND POST
UNCL CLIT (memorial tattoo)
OHNO YEAH
MEND BEND
FINE LINE
GOAL TEND
WHAT OKAY
FAST PISS
SLOW POOP
BATH ROOM
NECK TATT
SORT SHIT
GIRL FOOD
SAVE FILE
FOUR FOOT
FIVE GUYS
GOOD TAPE
LAME TIME
FLIM FLAM
MOVE SLOW
SLOP HOGS
SIDE WAYS
NINE FIVE
LIVE BUGS
LESS CUTS
DANK MEME
GULP SOME
PIPE WIPE
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[redacted] || The Queen of the Clan pt.3,5
CW: brief description of animal genitalia, brief description of animal sex (basically it's boys being hyenas, greetings and fucking, nothing too explicit). Still, this is NSFW and I WILL block every ageless blog (as well as minors) interacting with it, so please, put your age in your bio/pinned post. I feel sad when I have to block people :(
No one dares to stop him as his huge shadow stalks through the darkness of the night savanna. Even alone, Ghost is a formiddable presence, forced down the ranks by cruel laws of nature, but persevering and thriving against the odds - a lioness on her hunt strays away from him, preferring not to pick up a fight that might end with her jumped by a clan - a small, doomed without a female leader, but tight clan.
It still feels like the ground, cooled off by the night, burns under his soft paws, as he flies through the tall grass and bush, whipped by the shame of being caught, a dark missile set on a clear target - as he approaches the den they use during their out in the wild missions, he whoops, warning his clan of his arrival.
When he gets no immediate response, he slows down, raising his voice - a uniquely his, haunting, rumbling at the lower notes sound cutting through the air over the ochestra of cicadas. Finally, two voices respond - Captain somewhere on patrol, leaving two fluffy muppets to welcome his Lieutenant back. A softer, melodic call coming from Kyle gets overridden with quickly approaching whooping that even in the animal form sounds heavily accented - just one Scot's tongue seemingly built differently (specifically to get on Ghost's nerves).
Johnny almost rams Ghost's side, barely braking himself like a cartoon animal, dust clouds up in the air and deep traces where his hind paws dragged along before finally stopping. He lines up against his Lieutenant, lifting a paw impatiently - his thick member proudly erect, and Ghost would never be able to answer the question if Soap is just that eager to demonstrate submission to him or he's just getting horny from the sight of the dark-furred mountain with a blong mane alone. Earning a nip meant to keep him in line, Johnny shoves his muzzle into Ghost's crotch nonetheless, deliberately ignoring that the dominant hyena didn't even move his legs to accomodate such greeting - and then suddenly pauses.
Lifts his wide head, fluttering his big round ears, whines quietly, then, when Ghost stays silent, repeats in a more demanding tone - and by the time Gaz finally jumps out of the bushes gracefully, Ghost is already being full-on harassed by Johnny, who pays no mind to the bites and paw slaps he recieves from his bigger mate and keeps sniffing at his mane, going as far as to chomp on Ghost's nape and chew on on his light-coloured fur.
If they weren't out in the middle of savanna, Simon would've already shaken his animal form off and pinned Johnny down, but instead he has to fight off his Sergeant, who uses his height to his advantage as he escapes Ghost's grip and avoids being held like a guilty pup in the terrifyingly massive jaws capable of biting through a giraffe's thigh bone.
Of course, Kyle comes to his support, distracting Ghost by a quick greeting and using that same hind leg he lifted for him to push Ghost's snout away. He smells it too: the sweetness, the tanginess, the womanhood that lingers on the dark fur, something their Lieutenant clearly wants to hog for himself, as Soap tells Gaz in short, sulky whoops, getting smacked with Ghost's long tail in the face for the slander. He ain't hogging nothing, he just doesn't want to be their chewing toy for the night, even if he brought the smell that all of them already memorized from short encounters with the soft, plump, so perfect for cuddling in a pile and laying big heads on her lap, girl...
No matter how strong Simon is, being jumped by two muscle-packed hyenas isn't an easy fight to win, and after several more minutes of wrestling he finds himself pinned down on the ground by Soap's weight, as the chonky hyena plops on top of his superior officer and nuzzles into his mane with pathetic, needy whines, already grinding into Ghost's back, humping his poor tailbone like it's just a pillow for him to satisfy the need caused by a female's scent etched into his lover's hide.
Gaz keeps himself together just about as poorly, stuffing his wide nose between Ghost's ribs and inhaling with low wheezing howls. He's not rutting into Simon directly, but he's one hot-running furnace pressed up to the big hyena's side, leaking onto his fur and licking at the scented mane and Ghost's ears - well knowing that is makes his Lieutenant softer and more pliant.
It's no wonder that by the morning Price finds them in their den in a messy, sticky pile, paws entangled and traces of seed and saliva smeared on their sides, as if they were too exhausted to clean up even as they fell asleep. But even in the thick, musky mix of his subordinates' smells, he picks on the faint, delicate, sweet note - and immediately pinpoints it as the reason two Sergeants couldn't keep their paws off Simon.
Surely, after such an action-packed night Ghost won't mind being woken up by long, wet tongue of his Captain licking him clean thoroughly.
Part 3 | Part 4
Series masterlist | Main masterlist
Tagging: @elaineiswithyou-blog @creepingeva @my-halo-is-a-little-broken @sillymanjaro @ihatethinkingofnames10 @ravensfeatheruniverse @yaminax @ljh861 @darkangel4121 @ginger-n-coco @grey-shadow6475
So yeah, I guess these [redacted] parts (I just can't come up with as much spots-related puns and names as I'd like) will be a reoccuring thing, because writing fluffy hyena boiz is fun. Hope you enjoy these just as much as the main parts! Also I am accepting requests for this au, they might even get into the main storyline, so feel free to send in ideas!
you can ask to be added to the taglist under series masterlist post
Also maybe vote here for a little drabble?
#hyena 141 au#call of duty#cod#soap cod#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#price cod#captain john price#gaz cod#kyle gaz garrick#poly141#poly 141#poly 141 x reader#task force 141#task force 141 x reader#shapeshifter!au#soap x reader#gaz x reader#ghost x reader#price x reader
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when you see a bee going nuts in a flower: haha nice :)
when you realize the whole bush is just full of bees going hog wild on the flowers: oh yeah baby that's the stuff!!
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so like a week ago I saw a post I can't find again about the idea of like an elf Tav who had grown up with Astarion before Cazador
so here's 4.5k words of that
lightly nsfw but the pants stay on (except in my half finished drafts that I gave up on)
A hog ran out of the bushes and you felt a blade against your neck as the man bodied you to the ground. He hovered over you, dagger pressed to your throat as he leaned in close with a soft smile. "Not another sound. Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours." This was the first time you really managed to get a good look at him. Still, it took you a moment to recognize him. He looked so much older than you remembered and his eyes were blood red. "Astarion?" He was clearly not expecting that. His eyes widened in confusion and panic before he pressed the dagger firmer against your neck, the tip drawing a prick of blood. "How in the hells do you know that?" He hissed. "Who are you?
You stumbled along the beach away from the illithid ship. Your head was pounding and you just wanted to lay down but this was not nearly the time or place. You had to get away from the crash site and, preferably, find a few other survivors to watch your back. The cleric you picked up was fine and all, but you didn't entirely trust her. You were certain you'd need more help than that anyway.
Corpses littered the surrounding area, of humans and mind flayers alike. Not much survived the falling, flaming debris. It wasn't hard to make out a voice over the crackling fires.
You jogged towards the voice, quickly spotting it's owner. A slender elf with white curls that were surprisingly neat for surviving the nautiloid wreck. "Quick! I've got one of those brain things cornered."
That voice was… familiar? Still, you couldn't quite place it and it didn't really matter. If you helped him kill the thing, perhaps you could convince him to join you.
You followed where he was pointing, sword in hand. Really, you should've known better. Or perhaps Shadowheart could've been quicker to alert you?
A hog ran out of the bushes and you felt a blade against your neck as the man bodied you to the ground. He hovered over you, dagger pressed to your throat as he leaned in close with a soft smile. "Not another sound. Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours."
This was the first time you really managed to get a good look at him. Still, it took you a moment to recognize him. He looked so much older than you remembered and his eyes were blood red. "Astarion?"
He was clearly not expecting that. His eyes widened in confusion and panic before he pressed the dagger firmer against your neck, the tip drawing a prick of blood. "How in the hells do you know that?" He hissed. "Who are you?
"You- you died…?" It didn't make sense. You saw them bury his body and everything.
His eyes flicked back and forth, studying your face. You wouldn't be upset if he didn't recognize you, but you weren't exactly sure how you would talk your way out of this in that case.
Fortunately, you wouldn't have to find out. You saw the moment it hit him as he jerked his dagger away from your neck, scrambling to get off of you. "It… can't be. Of all the people… you." He laughed bitterly, stowing the dagger.
Honestly, you weren't exactly sure how to respond to this situation. You couldn't even tell if he was happy to see you or not. So you decided to press on the most concerning issue still. "You died. I went to your funeral, Astarion. What… happened to you?"
You were nearly the same age, you'd grown up together in his family's estate. Your parents were hired hands and you served as a live-in friend for their reclusive son. He was only a few months older than you, so why did he look so much older? So much paler, more exhausted than someone your age ought to be.
On top of it he still looked fucking fantastic. Gods you hated how effortlessly beautiful he was.
His gaze darted between you and Shadowheart, anxiously weighing his options. "Ah, yes, well. You know how it goes, surrounded by adoration and opulence. It all gets to be too much, you fake your death, you flee the country. Standard business really."
That definitely wasn't the truth but clearly he wasn't about to share it in front of Shadowheart. It hurt, finding him like this, though. You were so close as children. It had gotten a little harder as you grew up but you always kept in contact. But he let you think he was dead for 200 years anyway? "Right. Of course. Well. Care to join us?"
~*~*~
It's not like you were still in mourning or anything. He had been a good friend for so long, at times even your best friend, but two hundred years was enough time for you to move on.
You had thought about him from time to time. Fondly remembering stories from your past that would turn into a quiet sadness for the life that was taken from him.
They never had an answer for what had happened to him. He had been murdered, you knew that much. No one ever said how or why, though. Magistrate's weren't exactly beloved and his family held a high enough title there was always the vague threat of assassinations but Astarion seemed like such a strange target.
It was compounded by the fact that nothing ever came of it. No one was ever caught, no political move was made on his grieving family. You would think maybe he'd been jumped, but nothing had been taken from him. Honestly, you never expected to get an answer. Certainly not from the dead man himself.
The two of you were sat in his tent, it had been a few days but what a wild few days they were. Tomorrow you would set out to level the goblin camp but tonight you were going to talk.
"I'm sorry." He started. It kind of surprised you, really. You had been learning over the past few days that the man you had once known was all but gone. The Astarion in front of you now was always bitter and irritated with half the things you did.
"Astarion I swear to Kelemvor, it is not naïve to rescue a twelve year old from a crazy lady with a snake for 'no reason.' The reason is rescuing the twelve year old from a snake."
"Where did you go? What happened to you?" The apology was nice but really, you just wanted answers. "Why didn't you tell me?"
He sighed, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees. His eyes were fixed on the ground between the two of you and he looked so… sad. "I thought about it, about finding you. At first and, only for a moment."
Well that didn't really clear anything up, all right. You kept quiet though, you were smart enough to know when not to push.
"You want the truth? I was captured. Kidnapped by an evil man who turned me into a monster and forced me to do his bidding. I couldn't have told you. I- I didn't want to get anywhere near you. Not like this."
A picture was beginning to come into focus. Honestly, there had been enough pieces that you had already begun to wonder. "You're a vampire."
"A spawn, yes." He practically spat the word out, scowling at the ground. "He turned me into his little pet. I was to go out and catch him the most beautiful souls I could find for him to feast on. All the while I was starved and tortured just for his amusement."
"Astarion…"
"I don't want your pity. I mean - I do, sort of but- ugh…" He rolled his eyes, leaning back. "You've made this all extremely complicated."
"Why didn't you ever try to find me? I would've helped, I could've tried to get you out of there."
"I… well I couldn't." He glanced up at you, a sad smile crossing his lips. "You would've tried, certainly. And I would've watched him kill you as punishment I'm sure. No, it's quite all right." He waved a hand dismissively, as a perfect, easy grin spread across his face.
You couldn't exactly argue. It's not like you had any idea what you would've been up against. Still, your blood boiled at the very idea of what he must've gone through in your centuries apart. "Well, you're safe right now, anyway."
His face softened at your words, seeming to relax into the very idea of your protection. "I am, aren't I? How strange." His head cocked to the side, an almost calculating look crossing his face. "Would you… care to stay the night?"
~*~*~
You had always had a sort of off and on crush on Astarion, growing up. When you were very small he had told your parents that the two of you were already married, obviously.
As you got older, you had been sidelined pretty hard as the best friend and you took it with grace. You had plenty of other people who caught your eye and it was nice to always have someone you trusted to be there.
There was that one time that he had drunkenly wept into your arms about being the only person he would ever truly love. It would've meant more had he not just gotten his heart broken hours prior, but it did rekindle an old spark in your heart for a solid year.
The two of you had drifted apart as your social circles moved in opposite directions. You never connected with the upper class, he wouldn't be seen with the rabble. You always kept in touch but, by the time he was murdered captured, you were struggling to keep up with your monthly nights out at the Elfsong.
Right now, though, in this moment? You felt as though you couldn't possibly be closer to another person if you'd wished for it.
Astarion had practically crawled on top of you in his effort to kiss you. One of his hands was tangled in your hair while the other rested firmly against the small of your back. He was colder than you were used to but that wasn't unwelcome. Instead it just sent shivers through your entire body with every touch.
You slowly lowered yourself down to your elbows as he leaned further into you, chasing this kiss like he needed it to survive. The hand in your hair held you firmly against him, not that you had any intention of going anywhere.
His tongue slipped into your mouth, pulling a pitiful little noise out of your throat. He let out a small breath of a laugh as his fingers began to slowly tug your shirt out of your pants. Every move was so delicate and effortless on his part. Gods he was flawless.
He freed your shirt from the prison that was your waistband, pulling back just far enough to whisper a soft "May I?" against your lips.
You couldn't help the grin that spread across your face as you blinked up at him. "Only if you return the favor."
"Gladly." A devilish smile crossed his lips as he pulled back, taking your top with him. A moment later, he had his own pulled over his head and both were recklessly discarded.
One of his hands found it's way to your back again. You couldn't help the way you jumped as his icy fingers made contact with your bare skin. His other hand came up to cup your jaw, ever so gently applying just a bit of pressure. Just enough to encourage you to lay back underneath him as he pressed your lips together again.
You went so easily, he was so gentle and sweet and he tasted like vanilla and ever so slightly like copper. He was intoxicating.
Once he had you on your back, his hands began to wander. They trailed ever so delicately over your chest, lighting a fire inside of you as they went. Your own hands were so much more inexperienced. One helplessly pressed flat against his back, the other unwilling to pull away from his curls for even a moment.
He didn't seem to be bothered by how little you were really helping. His hands continued tenderly mapping your body as his kisses began to trail away from your mouth, along your jawline.
You let out a small gasp as his kiss trailed down to your neck and you felt him pull back, just a bit, just enough to look at you. "Now… it is just a thought… it's just that, well, some people are into biting."
"Are you asking if you can drink my blood?"
"Well, only if the answer is yes."
You gently brushed your hand through his mess of curls as you pondered this. "What would it… do?"
"To you? Not much. A bit of dizziness perhaps, nothing out of the ordinary for some good old fashioned blood loss. But for me? I've been living off rats and wild boar for decades. Just a sip from someone as decadent as yourself could probably give me the power of the sun."
You couldn't help but laugh at the blatant flirting, but damn if it wasn't working. "Maybe a bit exaggerated," he continued "But it would make me feel stronger. I could fight better, think clearer. You don't have to-"
"Go for it."
"Oh. Shit really? I still had a whole monologue about not feeling pressured."
"Getting less sexy by the second, Ancunín."
"Gods, shut up." He rolled his eyes, pressing his lips back to yours as you giggled.
You could feel his anticipation now, though. He kissed you just long enough to push you back into the right headspace before his attention turned back to your neck.
He lingered there longer than you expected, tenderly covering you with his kisses. Then, without warning, he pulled back and his gentle lips were replaced by an acute sting as his fangs sunk into one of your veins.
It was a unique feeling, you could say that. You'd been stabbed before but this was different. It was cold. Like the first snow of winter, dark and freezing but glittering like crystals in the moonlight. You heard yourself gasp and felt your body arch up into him as your head tipped back for him.
You could've easily lost yourself in the feeling, just basking in this closeness you had with someone who was so dear to you. You had just enough awareness to feel the dizzy, light headed bliss start to tip towards darkness.
Your grip on his hair tightened, gently trying to tug him back before he got carried away. "Astarion…"
He only let out a gentle moan before seeming to catch himself, quickly pulling away with a small gasp. "Gods…" he wiped away the small trickle of your blood that had escaped his lips, licking it from his fingers as you stared up at him, slack jawed.
"I couldn't have wished for a finer vintage." He crooned as he ducked his head back down to clean the blood from your neck.
Gods, he had your heart about bursting out of your chest. His hands started to wander again as his mouth continued it's assault on your neck. Every touch was so careful and perfect, each one sending sparks flying through you.
He cupped one hand around your neck, gently applying a bit of pressure to stop the bleeding as his mouth moved back to yours. "You're gorgeous, you know? I've always thought so."
You were obsessed already. He was intoxicating, the way his touch felt against your skin, the way his honey sweet words pierced your heart. There was an old version of you that had dreamed of just having him like this.
Here you were, pampered and loved by a man you had adored for so long. Gods, you really never thought you would ever see him again, let alone have his hand down your pants like this. In this moment, the world was nearly perfect. The only thing that mattered to you now was making this boy yours.
~*~*~
You woke up in the morning, a bit sore, a bit disoriented, and very alone. It took a moment to remember why you were in a strange tent. Another moment for you to realize Astarion was gone. You couldn't help the disappointment that bloomed in your chest at that thought. You couldn't blame him, exactly. It's not like the two of you were a thing. Still, it would've been nice to wake up beside him.
You sighed softly, quietly getting dressed in the still morning chill. It felt like early morning, the golden light filtering into the tent and lack of noise from your companions clued you in. Maybe Astarion had run off to feed before the rest of the camp woke up. Maybe he'd hoped to be back before you had gotten up?
No such luck. You pushed open the tent flap to find your vampire quietly staring at the dim embers of your campfire. You had to bite back another sigh as you stepped forward, apparently making enough noise to draw his attention.
His neck whipped around, though he relaxed instantly once he located the source of the sound he'd heard. "You're up early." He said, quietly, turning back to the fire.
"I could say the same."
"I'm always the first one awake." You could hear the eye roll in his voice.
You stepped forward, moving to sit beside him with a small, awkward smile. "And you just had to get away from me?" Don't freak him out, play it cool. You weren't disappointed at all.
He didn't seem to find it funny, though. He just drew his knees up closer to his chest. "I told you. You made things… complicated."
That was weird. Honestly, you had no idea what he meant. "I'm sorry?"
"Not your fault." His voice was flat and unreadable. He'd really changed so much since you last saw him. It made sense but that didn't stop it from hurting.
You missed the man you used to know. Snarky and a bit full of himself. But also shy and awkward and comforting. You recognized many of his old mannerisms but they'd changed. He was bitter, focused on how to protect himself above all else. It made him violent and trigger happy in a way you weren't used to. Quite frankly, it was a little scary sometimes, the amount of joy he took in violence.
"Can I help?" It was all you had really. You couldn't change what had happened to him. All you could do now was try to help.
"Can you help? Sure. If you could just… go back in time, stop yourself from finding me after the nautiloid and let me carry on my merry way, presumably to be murdered by the first person I annoy too much."
"Okay, well, I'm not sure I can do that." You couldn't read him, no matter how hard you tried. "Did I… do something wrong?"
"No, gods, no." He curled up tighter. He looked so… vulnerable. He never did vulnerable. Especially not now. "You're perfect. That's the problem. You made it complicated."
"Astarion, I don't understand."
He sighed, finally turning his head to throw you a small, tired look. "I know. Hells…" You could see the confliction writing itself across his face. "I want to tell you something but you have to swear that you won't hate me for it, I mean it. It's not good, but you cannot hate me."
"I've never hated you, Star." Maybe the nickname was a bad idea. You practically saw it stab him directly through the chest, forcing him to turn away for a moment to collect himself.
He couldn't look you in the eye again, he just stared off to the distance in any other direction. "I know. I mean it though, promise me, please."
"All right." What could he possibly tell you that was worse than 'I spent two hundred years forced to kidnap people to be killed by my master.' "I promise. I won't hate you, no matter what."
You saw him relax a bit, his shoulders loosening. He turned back, just enough to glance at you out of the corner of his eye. "I… Last night, that- it…" It was so rare that he struggled to find his words.
He took another breath, trying to collect himself before turning back to the fire. "I was just… using you. I wish I could say I didn't mean to but- gods, I did. I pushed it that way on purpose. Its all… part of the plan, you know? Seduce you, sleep with you, secure my safety and position in the group with you. It was… easy."
Oh. Well that wasn't exactly great to hear. He was still trying to collect himself, find the right words. You didn't want to interrupt and, honestly, you didn't really know what to say.
"I didn't think about it, I just… did it. Like I had to. I needed to. And by the time my head caught up it was too late. You were already into it, I couldn't just stop."
"What?"
"I mean," He continued quickly, seemingly trying to get ahead of your presumed anger. "It's not like it wasn't good, it's not like I don't… care about you. It's just, it was an instinct. I think."
"Astarion-"
"Please, you have to understand-"
"No, no, stop. Hold on." You saw the panic in his eyes as you interrupted. "Astarion did you not… want to do that?"
The look he gave you was, honestly, almost a little pitiful. "Like I said, you've made this complicated. I don't know. I don't know what I want."
You turned your attention away from him, towards the dying fire in front of you, pausing for a moment to collect your thoughts. "I wish you hadn't done that to yourself." He was right. This was complicated.
He wasn't the same person you had grown up with. Whatever had been done to him had clearly changed him fundamentally as a person.
But, still, you couldn't look at him without seeing your old friend. It was still the same laugh you had known. Still the same smile. You saw it, when you agreed to help the tieflings, the way he cocked his hip out and rolled his eyes. His little mannerisms that still lingered after all this time. He might not be the same man you had known, but you loved him anyway.
"I don't know what happened to you," you continued before he could get defensive. "I don't know what made you feel like you had to go to such extremes just to win affections you've had since we were children."
You saw some kind of spark in his eyes. It was so difficult to read him now, you wanted to get better at that. "I'm… sorry." He sounded so unsure. Honestly, you didn't care for it, he was always so confident. Now, though, he just looked… sad, maybe?
"You don't have to apologize. Astarion," You carefully reached a hand out to cover one of his. "The first thing you did when you saw me was put a dagger to my throat, and I still would've tossed Shadowheart into the ocean if you'd asked me to."
That pulled a startled laugh out of him that you briefly worried might've woken up your companions. Gods you really would do just about anything to see him smile. "You would not have. You're too much of a goody two shoes."
"Maybe." You grinned, giving his hand the smallest squeeze. "Still. I'm just sorry you felt like you had to go that far for my affection."
"I'm not the man you used to know, I'm not blind. I don't know who he was anymore. Up till now, I think I'd forgotten my own parents' faces. But you look at me like you expect me to be him and I don't know how. I can't be what you expect, at least if I could keep your bed warm you'd have reason to keep me around."
"Astarion…" Your hand tightened around his as you scooted just a bit closer. "I was sitting in the Elfsong, a long time ago. At 'our' table, you know? I was waiting for you to meet me and I grabbed a day old copy of the Gazette to read while I waited.
"I didn't even notice at first. There was a headline for one of the articles, 'Magistrate Murdered', but I didn't notice until I got closer to it. I saw your name and it was like the roof caved in over me. I was sitting there, waiting for you to show up, and a shitty, ale stained piece of parchment told me you never would."
You looked up at him with a sad smile before continuing quickly, trying to stay ahead of the guilt you were sure was creeping up in him. "I cried for months over you. And for years after when something reminded me too much of you. Star, neither of us are the same person we left behind, it's been two hundred years. I've been through plenty, and you've been through hell. That's not what matters though."
He looked so small right now. He was nervous and upset and vulnerable. You hated it, you didn't want him to be so anxious with you, gods you wanted him to trust you. "What matters is right now. We're here together. That's so much more than I ever could've dreamed just a month ago. You don't have to earn my trust and love again. And you certain don't have to force yourself to have sex with me to do it. I never stopped loving you, Astarion."
He was still for a moment, his eyes flicking over your face, scanning you for ill intent. You watched him cycle through a dozen emotions as he processed what you were saying. Then, almost like a switch flipped, he just melted.
With a choked out sob, he collapsed into you. You wrapped your arms around him as he curled into a ball, practically in your lap. His whole body shook as he quietly cried into your chest. You really did hate seeing him cry but you could feel the tension lifting from his shoulders as you held him tight.
You let a silent prayer fly to whichever god was keeping your friends asleep through this, asking them to keep up the good work. The last thing he needed right now was everyone else seeing him like this, you knew how much he wanted to keep up appearances.
Ever so gently, you lifted a hand to card your fingers through his curls. He curled up just a bit tighter, leaned into you just a bit more. It had been so, so long since the two of you had been this close. You really, truly never wanted it to end.
Eventually, though, he pulled back with an awkward laugh and a hasty scrub of his face. He didn't go far, just enough to sit back and look at you. "Gods… well. That was sexy."
You rolled your eyes, throwing him a soft grin. "You're ridiculous, Star. Come on, everyone'll be up soon. Big day, you know? Let's go kill some fucking goblins."
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#380
“Boy, that took you long enough. Did it come out clear three times in a row?... Good. I don’t want no fag mud on my hog. I will beat the shit out of you if I go to fuck you and you ain’t clean. And it won’t be the fun kind of beating the shit out of you. It will be your responsibility to keep your hole clean. You understand?
“…You seem to be taken aback by what I’m saying, or when I told you to go clean out not one hour after we first met. Look, I’m 63 years old, I don’t have the patience for beating around the bush. I’m blunt.
“When Leonard assigned you to train with me, he knew that I only train faggots. I know him, and he would not have brought up my name as a seasoned trainer unless he told you that I’m a fag fucker. For the next 11 weeks, you will be the fag I mostly fuck.
“What did he tell you about me?... That I have been ‘A truck driver for forty years and that I’m a total top.’ Ok. Did he also tell you I have a fat sausage? He probably did; I use his cunt from time to time, and he loved to brag to the other fags that he can take me.
“Oh finally, that car is pulling out of here….
“Strip…. I said ‘Strip.’ Now listen here you little faggot. I don’t know what you thought was going to happen between us, but that’s my rig. My rig! It’s not the company’s. I create the rules. They are not negotiable. At the end of the eleven weeks, you will be a damned good truck driver and well trained cum dump.
“Look you can see a mile up the road. Not much on the road right now, we have plenty of advanced notice if someone should approach let alone pull off. Now strip.
“Faggot, you are going to learn very fast that I think about sex just about all the time…. Wait, let me guess, you don’t like being called a ‘faggot?’ For fuck’s sake. OK, I won’t call you Faggot. Does that make you feel better… Cunt?
“Cunt you will leave this pecker alone. Now turn around and show me that cleaned out cunt. Whew! That hole sure is pretty. That prettiness won’t last a minute. Spread your legs and put your fingertips on the asphalt. Your master is coming in.
“One thing you will learn is, I love to fuck. When I’m waiting for a load to be unloaded, I fuck. When I have to refuel, I fuck. When I am driving, I’m thinking about fucking. I always have a small bottle of lube in my pocket for times like this. Now hold still. I’m going right to the root, and I expect you to scream your fucking head off.
“I love fucking a naked cunt outside in the middle of the day, especially far from anyone to hear the screams. Now scream! Oh hell yes. Scream motherfucker. You don’t want to hurt, then accommodate me! Your focus in on my cock, always. Always. When we are driving across the country and you are tied up to the bunk with your cunt facing the front, your focus is on my cock. When I am asleep and you are driving naked with a large butt plug in your cunt, your focus is on my cock. When I bring you to a cruise spot and have anonymous men use your cunt, your focus is on my cock. When I am taking a belt to your ass, your focus is on my cock. When I bring you back to my home in Minnesota and install you under my rimseat, your focus in on my shithole first and then on my cock.
“You got all that?... Cunt! I don’t give a shit how much pain my dick is inflicting. If I did care, the answer would probably be ‘Not enough.’ Don’t worry, after a day or two, you will be stretched out enough so that this is not that much of a struggle. Hell, I already feel your cunt relax to accept me now.
“This is your life for the next eleven weeks. This is why you will be douching out daily. I’m also going to control what you eat, that’ll make the clean out process easier. It’s going to be pretty much non-stop butt fucking for you, with some blow jobs and ass eating to break up the monotony.
“…What was that?... You don’t eat ass? You don’t want to stick your tongue where another man shits? Believe me, I understand. That’s why I don’t do it. And when you get your own rig, you won’t have to.
“Don’t you dare try to stand up when I am fucking you in this position. Yes it’s an uncomfortable position. I want it that way. I said, don’t stand up. In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t give a shit what you want or don’t want.
“You keep up this idea that your opinion matters, I will give a shit…. Literally! I am not into that scene, but I will totally shit in your mouth to get you to understand that your opinion is as useless to me as your pecker.
“You know what? Stand up. Look at me…. Look at me Cunt. Yeah, face slaps are my thing too.
“I’m ready to end this now if you want. I will walk back to my rig, and I will leave you standing naked in this lot. You want to stay with me, you agree to do what I say when I say it. No asking not to do anything. And what I will give you is free driver training, free lodging, I’ll pay for your food, all the expenses along the way, and finally and most importantly all the sex you ever wanted from men like me.
“I know where the active cruise spots are. I have driver contacts across the country that like to fuck faggots like you. I know where the last remaining truck stops that still have communal showers. You’ll definitely get gang banged there. There are some other places, like this biker roadhouse where faggots get used. That’s only the beginning. Summer is approaching, and the fag fuckers come out to play in a big way.
“This is the only time I will make you this choice. You want me to leave you here or do you want to be transformed into a cum-guzzling and ass eating cunt, one that can drive a truck?
“…What was that?... That’s as I thought. But don’t call me ‘Sir’ as you haven’t earned the right to. You are to refer me as ‘Master.’ Once you establish yourself with me, without future problems, I’ll let you call me ‘Sir.’ And if you do a real good job, after the end of the eleven weeks, I might let you address me as ‘Dad.’
“Ok get on your knees and suck your ass juices off my cock. Don’t think. Just do. Stick it in your mouth.
“Atta boy. You are taking your first step on the right path.
“I plan on taking you there tonight, to that biker roadhouse. They require all faggots to be locked up in a chastity cage. They have a guy there that will fit you with one exactly to my specifications. You’ll wear it for your duration with me.
“I will pay for your entrance. They charge faggots to be used by them. Faggots from all over the area arrive, pay, and get stripped. They are secured in one of several stations for the night. There’s one that is bent over to lick boots all night. Another is on urinal duty. There’s a glory hole station and a rimming station. There’s a full toilet station. Piss me off again, and you might be secured in there. And they have ways of making the faggots comply.
“Get up and get back into position with your fingertips on the asphalt…. There you go. Fuuuuuck… Cunt, your cunt feels so good. You’re not screaming this time. Good.
“For you, I was going to have you installed at the glory hole station. I’m going to switch it up to the ass eating one, get you under one of their rimseats. There’s this one that your lay down on a small platform in one room, and you scoot your head through a hole in the wall. Your head comes out into the bar area under what they call ‘The Throne.’ Your legs are lifted up, spread, and secured to the wall, leaving your cunt open for any type of pussy play. That’s sometimes reserved by faggots weeks if not months ahead.
“I’ll contact the owner and the man that likes to sit on the Throne for hours on end. He’ll let me know if it’s available. Regardless, you will be installed at one station through the night. I’ll use you early on, but I’ll go back to the rig to spend my down time.
“The thought of that is really getting me going. Can you feel my cock getting thicker? It loves it with thoughts of faggots used in a way that god intended.
“We have about some time before we need to get rolling. Now that you know what the next three months will look like, I’m going to enjoy my new accommodating cunt for a bit. Try to hold your position.”
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Floyd 10
Summary: Sometimes when Crowley irritates you, you like to throw Floyd right at him.
(Really like the thought of slinging this eel around like a ferret.)
Ever since Crowley installed a number of automatic systems that basically did his chores for him, he's been coming over more and more often out of sheer boredom. He pops over in your house unannounced, hogs your television when you want to use it, and has even taken over a lot of your chores just as you were in the mood to do them.
And right now, he's watering your berry bushes like he didn't take the hose from your hand.
"Neglecting your berry bushes like this, how awful!" Crowley complained loudly like you weren't right there in your backyard, splashing your feet about with Floyd chasing after your toes. "But, because I am very kind, I shall do it for you at almost no cost!"
You pinched Floyd between your ankles and threw him to the end of the pond. He flailed and squealed as he went sailing.
You yelled back, "No Crowley, you're not watching your shows on my TV! And I'm not making you snacks!"
He has his own television! And you know he can make his own snacks! You've seen him on a cooking show once at 1 AM! He knows this stuff! He doesn't need you to do any of this. And besides, when he gets too into whatever drama he got himself into, he whoops and hollers just as you're about to enter the realm of sleep.
Seriously, you already have issues with sleeping at a consistent time and this bird-brained man is not making things better for you. You have things to do! Pets to take care of and entertain when their solo enrichment wasn't enough.
"Oh come on," Crowley scoffed in that way that never fails to irritates you. That specific scoff like you're some silly kid that's claiming things for themselves because they haven't digested the concept of sharing. "Don't tell me you have forgotten basic manners. You haven't been an adult for that long and already you don't want to show appreciation for all these things I'm doing for you."
"I don't need you to do shit for me, Old Crow," your whisper came out as a hiss.
Crowley was struck by nickname he probably thought was dead on your tongue. "Old-!"
"What I need from you," you smiled and dunked your entire arm into the pond. You grabbed Floyd just as he was about to nip at your calves. "Is for you to get a hobby!"
And like a rocket being launched, you threw Floyd directly to the back of Crowley's head. You may have thrown this eel one too many times. His posture was perfectly straight, arms sticking right out like he's one of those superheroes in a cartoon, and his face was perfectly pensive as though you're sending him off on a mission.
You didn't really mean for him to land perfectly on the back of Crowley's head. You just wanted Floyd to get, like, around his back but oh well. Too late now.
Floyd gripped his teeth and claws into Crowley's hair just as he tipped forward at the new weight.
"What in-" Then, Floyd slipped his tail under Crowley's collar, then whipped it around with no mercy! "Mmmah!"
"Ah, Floyd's slime wiping attack," you noted with a chuckle. You've been victim of that move a few times before. You're pretty sure it's not any sort of territory marking so much as he wants to gross people out. "I am not sorry."
Seriously, just because he's bored, Crowley thinks he can annoy you and not face any of your antics. If he wants to spend time with you so much, he should at least call or text ahead. Or go hang out with literally anyone else in this neighborhood. There's not a single person here that doesn't know him by name.
"Get him off!" Crowley sprinted right past you, trying to grab Floyd but his poor hands are covered in slime, "Get him off!"
"Hmm," you splashed around the pond some more. "Nah."
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst-drabbles#twst-drabbles exclusive#drabble#octavinelle#floyd#floyd leech#house pet au#reader insert
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My boy helping me bush hog yesterday. Isn’t he handsome ♥️
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