#hyena 141 au | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

neoarchipelago · 8 months ago

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Just wanted to say that i Just binge read your red panda! Reader au, and i love it <3

And i feel like in some point if someone is annoying us we will literally jump on one of the boys

(Can i be 💛?)

I had a similar ask from 🫧! (You can totally be 💛!!!)

Red panda!reader is usually non violent. Expect for the bapping, the getting to a higher place to yell and scold. Obviously she's still had the usual physical and combat training so, reader knows how to defend themselves!

Reader is often surrounded by at least one of the boys but when she escapes their line of sight, trying to find a napping place she sometimes has to face the situation on her own.

There will always be the hybrids who are flirtatious. The little shoulder bumps to scent you or the plain eye fuck sometimes. You try to ignore it but some hybrids tend to forget the four hulking boys that usually surround you as soon as they see you all alone. You hate the audacity of some of them.

So, it was obvious that at some point, you'd snap.

You were walking around the gym, the boys on a training drill. You were on your own, doing your little routine until you felt a hand grab your headphones from behind and yank them off your head. You immediately spun around, furr standing on end.

"What are you doing?!" You yelled.

The shit eating grin of the hybrid was disgusting. It smelled of a hyena hybrid, nauseating.

"What you doing here alone fluffy thing?" He flirted.

You didn't recall seeing this man on base before. The tension in the gym had risen, the rest of the recruits eyeing the situation. Some were shaking their heads, knowing all too well that you were the no touching plushie of task force 141.

"Don't call me fluffy. And give me back my headphones." You snarled slightly, a little growl at the back of your throat.

"Oh, she's feisty." He grinned.

You noticed another recruit approaching from the corner of your eye.

"Dude. Leave her alone. You shouldn't do that." The recruit tried.

But the man in front of you just growled in threat.

"You're going to get fucked up by 141." The recruit warned a last time.

"I don't give a shit about those pussies, I'll sink my teeth in their necks if-"

You had seen red. You didn't exactly know how you just leaped forward, body smashing the man to the ground, biting, scratching and punching. He was insulting the boys! Your boys!! How dare he?!

The recruits were too scared to actually touch you, letting the attack almost last a long minute.

But when the man gained his senses and tried to overpower you, the recruit who tried to put some sense into the man grabbed you by the waist, pulling you back.

The growls and yaps coming from you made you look slightly feral. You didn't even notice the boys had been called until you smelt their scent as they rushed to you. The recruit let go of you as soon as Soap tried to reach for you. You were surrounded by his smell, fresh and soft, powerful but smooth. You were still slowly growling in his arms as he brushed a hand over your head, scratching behind your fluffy ears.

Later you were sat in the rec room, the boys surrounding you. You were ready to be scolded, only to be put in front of a large fluffy and creamy bamboo cake. Your eyes were wide in shock, slightly hungry but emotional over the situation.

"You did very good darlin' " Price complimented.

"Ferocious thang ya are!" Soap cooed.

"We're proud of you sweetheart." Gaz added with the softest look.

"Good girl. Next time go for the neck-"

"Ghost..." Price warned.

You giggled at that, slightly blushing, happy that the boys were proud. Did they know the reason of why you snapped? Didn't matter. They were proud of you, and you were happy about that!

Of course it's not always like that. Since the boys are usually overprotective and don't like leaving you alone too long, they're usually the ones to interfere if they feel like things get out of hand. You sometimes take advantage of it, running to hide behind Ghost, only unlocking another level of protectiveness of the man that's almost terrifying to you.

He's not even big on PDA, but after either yelling or punching the threat, he'll hold you to his chest, making you feel the safest ever.

Price would only threaten, his voice alone and glance are enough to scare anyone away. Even his smile could be terrifying with a certain tone of voice.

Gaz will humiliate the threat. He won't hesitate to be physical but mentally putting it down, making them run away in shame was much more funnier to him.

Soap is hot blooded. If he even sees you run to him, he's not thinking. He's only putting two and two together and he's gone.

#fanfiction #fanfics #simon ghost riley #fanfic #simon riley #cod mw2 #ghost cod #captain price #john soap mactavish #gaz kyle garrick #simon riley call of duty #gaz mw2 #soap mw2 #captain john price #redpanda!readerau #redpanda!readercodau

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karlachismylife · 2 months ago

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Female spotted hyenas have clits so big that it's hard to distinguish them from males. Hyenas also lick clits as a way to greet each other and show submission (and males are always ranked lower than females).

Do you see the vision, comrades?

i dunno why i just feel the need to say

all of tf 141 would go crazy over bigger sized clits

that is all

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docdudo · 14 days ago

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Love the foster child fic! Do you think you’ll ever do a male reader? Or gender neutral pronouns? Maybe a similar thing but with a rough and tumble hyena cub who’s been a pain to all other foster parents so the 141 step in to straighten them out? Regardless, keep writing! Super good stuff!!!

The reader is mostly neutral gendered, but they are more "feminine" inclined. I'll probably keep writing following this idea, even on other projects.

Also, I do plan on writing other projects for my platonic!141, but they are going to be a different from one another. The next one i write will probably not be a foster AU.

(It's going to be cute regardless, don't worry)

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karlachismylife · 2 months ago

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Spotted || The Queen of the Clan pt.1

I absolutely do think about werewolf/dog shapeshifter Johnny every day, because I am a weak little gorilla and want to cuddle a big doggo, but

What if Soap as a hyena shapeshifter. Cuz their manes look like mohawks and he can keep his precious fluffy hairstyle. He's trotting around with his spots and long black socks on those strong legs, round ears twitching when he hears someone - prey, perhaps? But prey doesn't sound so pretty and cute, doesn't laugh and chirp so sweetly. So he keeps his tail high and hurries to the sound source, to find reader there chatting with other people - all with photocameras and other familiar equipment. You're neither prey, nor threat: just a documentary crew here, probably mainly for the lions.

You spot him immediately, his wary stance catching everyone's attention.

"The tail up so high can mean different things, but it might be a sign of agression. Careful, everybody," one of the specialists warns you, and you nod - you're not stupid, that's clear, but the smile you have on your face is so blissfully ecstatic, almost as if every thought left your brain at the sight of a chonky, bulky hyena investigating your filming sight (to be fair, it's probably his everything else sight). But you're just happy to see your first big animal on this trip, and so close!

"Hi, beautiful," you coo softly, brely a whisper, as you pull your camera up and start taking pictures of him - it takes the hyena only a few moments before it suddenly changes his stance to a more imposing one, puffing out its chest, legs wide apart, mane fuffed up. "Aw, are you posing for me, pretty boy? That's right, you're gonna be a star. I can already picture everyone going crazy for these cute pics..."

You tear your eyes away from him to take a look at what you're getting, not sure if the exposition and other settings are right, but when you adjust them and look back up to try and take another picture, the hyena isn't there. You almost let out a disappointed sigh, when you realize that no one of the crew is moving and their eyes are all glued to you - and then something big, fluffy and warm bumps your hip.

"Oh god," you try not to get startled by the hyena so close. It's even bigger that it seemed from afar, probably will be as tall as you if it stands up on its hind legs. Actually, it might be a girl - those tend to be bigger among spotted hyenas, after all. A formiddable force of nature, a deadly predator - not to be fooled by the public perception.

And it's sniffing at you very loudly, fluttering its round ears and bumping your hip again, like a needy cat with its huge wet eyes, before you finally lower your camera - and it shoves its muzzle into the little screen immediately!

"What, you like these? Give me permission to make you famous?" you chuckle when the hyena lets out somewhat of an approving whine. It bumps its head against your palm, but, glancing at your crew, you decide to withhold from petting the wild animal, after all.

The hyena doesn't look pleased with it. It whines again, paws at you, and then huffs, clearly irritated. Leaving you alone and shaking its head to fluff up its mane again, it sniffs around, trotting around your temporary camp, and heads straight to your backpack - your food inside, sleeping bag rolled neatly and resting against its side. While you try to remember if you have anything there that could cause danger to the curious animal, the hyena sniffs around it, making sure it's definitely yours, and then...

"No, no-no-no, please, don't-" it's too late. Turning around with the smuggest smirk you ever saw on an animal's face, the hyena lines up and sprayes your stuff generously. The smell of boiling cheap soap and something else hits you almost immediately on that short distance. No amount of washing will save you. You stand there, absolutely speechless and bemused, as the hyena bursts out into loud cackling, almost rolling on the ground and the sight of you.

And then a response cuts through the air - one, two, three other voices, interrupting that little spotted shit's fit. It immediately stops giggling, casts you one last look with a grin and then bolts away, to its family pack.

What a start to your filming trip. You'll just have to hope that hyena doesn't bring all its friends to your camp to cause chaos...

Another important thing about spotted hyenas? Their packs are matriarchal :)

Part 1.5 | Part 2

Series masterlist | Main masterlist

#call of duty #cod #soap cod #john soap mactavish #shapeshifter!au #werewolf!au #poly 141 x reader #maybe?#soap x reader #it literally says on the wiki their sprays smell like boiling soap what more proof do you need #x reader #cod x reader #also female hyenas have false penises (just huge clits)#so you know what that means #(soap will let you peg him)#hyena 141 au

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karlachismylife · 2 months ago

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I love how everyone just decided I'm the Hyena CEO™ of COD fandom now (please keep them coming, I adore everything I get tagged in/sent)

And oh my God he IS SO PRETTY honestly all three (not counting the hyenas cuz their prettiness is out of the question) of them?? I love the art style and oh the crossover is YUMMY. Fluffy boys and girls getting well fed and all the chin scratches :33

Love the two-colour mohawk, love the annoyed cat(man) and honestly Ghost looks like a god I'd worship here. Thinking about that tree spirits!141 au again...

Thank you love, I loooove this!!!

DC inspired crossover/au

A collection of very old half finished doodles Not sure if I'll ever do anything more with this so might as well post them

|| Soap/Harley Quinn | Ghost/Poison ivy | Gaz/Catwoman ||

Cringe but free

#an amazing idea and even more amazing execution #soap cod #gaz cod #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #cod #call of duty #juju's replies #mothman-juicy-ass

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karlachismylife · 29 days ago

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Local Spot || The Queen of the Clan pt.6

CW: fem!chubby!reader, some tame unwanted attention.

If not for man-made structures, you wouldn’t be able to tell the border between the territory of the natural reserve you got your filming permit for and the sanctuary that cuts off a smaller part of the landscape. Fenced off, it looks just the same – no surprise there, to be honest; sunlit tall grass, sandy and dusty ground and scattered trees, shielding the inhabitants with their shadow. No doubt, they have water sources too – everything in sanctuary’s power to tend to quite simple needs of animals that can’t be let out back into the wild after surviving each their own trauma. Driving past the tall mesh that makes sunbeams ripple when hitting your little Rover caravan, you try covering your eyes to look into the reserve, but no animals come close to the road, hidden securely somewhere deep in their new forever home.

“I hope you’re prepared to be blown away by the luxurious housing, we’re working our asses off to impress city cookies like you here.” With a distinct chuckle, Kir beckons you inside, holding a simple plywood door open for you and dropping your backpack from his shoulder on the porch of the little cabin – a whole line of them drags along a narrow road, animals’ enclosures basically on the other side of the “street”. Land too expensive, government too hesitant to “lose” everything it could provide by leaving it as untouched reserve; thus, someone had to make room for their neighbours, and humans decided to sacrifice their own comfort for the sake of the animals.

“Check this out,” Kir waits until you finish looking around the single room that serves as bedroom, living room, office – even a kitchen, if you can count the tiny portable stove and a kettle on a counter – and with a theatric gesture of a magician opens a narrow door, revealing the tiniest bathroom behind it: a toilet, a small sink hanging off a wall and just a cheap curtain to separate the shower area with a drain in the floor. “Not bad, huh? No hot tub, but pretty close. Don’t recommend you putting candles and champagne there, though, if you even mange to find those around here somehow…” Laughing with you at the deeply impressed and amazed expression you feigned at the sight of your lavish bathroom, Kir raises a finger calling for your attention once more and then struggles with the sink tap for a moment, finally getting it to sneeze and run clean water. “Actually working plumbing. You feeling like a queen yet?”

“Grandiose, brother,” you snort and come closer to hold a handful under the stream, gathering slightly warm water and using it to wipe sweat from your face and neck. “But no, really, don’t think there’s much more I could need, so this is perfect. You’re my neighbour or what?”

“I’m just three cabins away, door’s always open for you.” Having closed the tap, Kir shuffles his way out of the cramped space and leaves your cabin, hands in his pockets. Remembering something, he turns on his heels and nods at your backpack. “Laundry’s in the main building, there are bags to separate yours, it’s all done together in the mornings so it’s best to leave yours in the evening. Oh, and I’ll ask around about something to get rid of the stink.”

With a dazzling grin and a wink, Kir salutes you and finally turns his back, returning to work and leaving you to sort through your belongings and settle in. If everything goes well, you’ll spend just a few days here before the head of your crew successfully prolongs the filming permit and you head out into the savannah once more. Having this bureaucratic delay doesn’t feel good, but in a weird way you feel relieved.

You don’t think you would be able to leave this place without a heavy heart if the shoot lasted just three weeks like planned initially.

Settling on the top step of your low porch, you pull your backpack closer and hold your breath instinctively, even though a week in the wild has somewhat tamed the stink. It’s not strong per se, but it has a stinging undertone of concentrated boiled soap, to the point where it almost tastes sweet on the back of your mouth roof. Scoffing, you pull your belongings out of it, throwing crinkled plastic bags onto the floor behind you.

Finally reaching the one with dirty laundry inside, you grab it along with the empty backpack itself and make your way all the way to the main building, quick to find the laundry room – just as tiny as everything else. You empty your crumpled laundry into a nice canvas bag and write down the slightly scraped off number on it to know which one to pick up later, and then drop off the backpack in the corner, only just noticing teeth marks on it in several places – a chewed up strap mostly.

Somehow you don’t even doubt it was all Stinky’s doing.

“Adorable bastard,” you grumble under your breath and nearly ram into Kir’s firm chest at the door, too distracted with thoughts of your spotted acquaintance trotting around somewhere in the yellowish grass of the savannah.

“You called?” He laughs watching you roll your eyes and squeezes past you with a pat on your shoulder, a spray bottle of some kind in his hands along with his own laundry. “It’s for your aromatherapy backpack. If you want, you can spray it yourself, I’ll finish my shift sooner and we’ll hit the town. Bet you didn’t get a good look around when you arrived, yeah?”

Only fair for you to deal with your stink problem yourself, Kir already went above and beyond to help you, so you take the spray from his hand and return to the corner to drag your backpack outside, humming in response.

“No, they picked us up pretty quickly… only saw the bus station basically.” You shake the rattling bottle and make a trial spray, high-pressure mist with another harsh, sweet smell – most similar to a mosquito repellent – bursting into the air. The sticker on the can reads as some water- and sweat-repellent for shoes. “Anything interesting to see?”

The spray hisses, covering your backpack in a generous cloud of chemical smell and slight plastic-y glint after it settles. From inside the laundry room Kir raises his voice, admitting that there’s basically nothing except a couple stores and a dingy bar that can be of interest – it’s still worth it, you decide: just fifteen minutes of scootering down a bumpy dirt road and you get to buy something to treat yourself after a week on canned food and maybe even get a drink.

“I’ll come knock on your door then after I finish, then.” Kir leaves the laundry room and catches the spray can you throw him – if your watering eyes and coughing are any indicators, you’ve applied more then enough. Hanging the backpack outside to let it air out the possibly deadly concoction of sweat repellent and hyena sprayings, you finally drag yourself to your cabin.

A cool shower and a little bit of gentle persuasion via banging on the kettle stand until the loose contact clicks and the heating starts, you settle on your porch with your thermos and breathe in deeply. Nothing disturbs you, the feeling of being watched forgotten like it wasn’t even there. Must have really been the savannah getting in your head..

Sun is slowly sliding to the west, still high, but already a bit dimmed and oranged by the incoming dusk. Dry, clear air is rippling and throbbing above the ground, cooling off, weak wind snaking through the dust of the little road. Crickets and cicadas are chirping repetitively, like an ancient ethnic instrument from the good old times when music had more rhythm than melody. From your steps, you can’t make out which direction the call comes from, but somewhere on the sanctuary’s territory roars a buffalo – must be that young bull Kir told you to be careful around.

Two of the sanctuary employees walk past you, dirty gloves and sweaty noses – they smile and nod at you, barely interrupting a lively discussion, something about water going green in one of the biggest water sources. That’s not good, you think, but they don’t look particularly worried. More like confident.

Like they know what they’re doing and why.

Closing your eyes, you take another deep breath and sip your tea, careful not to burn your mouth. Red and pink prints of the vascular system in your eyelids mix with the way you already saw sky go up in flames at sunsets here, a peaceful feeling washing over you. There’s serenity in the way life flows measuredly around here, clocks and calendars slowly growing meaningless in the face of greater time countdown – seasons and solar cycles dictating times to migrate, to hunt, to procreate. People here made the decision to tie their lives to the nature, preserving and studying, and thus their time obeys the same laws, no hectic anxiety of semesters, quarter reports and tight schedules keeping them in a never-ending race.

It’s a blessing – to do the right thing with a reasonable pace, day after day, knowing you have something meaningful to do every time you wake up. In the outside world no one thinks highly of someone digging elbow-deep into the green mud of a small pond antelopes come to drink from, but here it matters.

You’d like to matter.

“Thinking of me with that smile on your face, I hope?” Kir’s cheeky voice drives you out of the meditative headspace and you open your eyes lazily, wrinkling your nose at him – he even made sure to approach you in a way that wouldn’t obstruct the softened sunrays caressing your face.

“Yeah, you wish. We’re going already?” With a grunt, you raise to your feet with his assistance, noticing just how long you must’ve been sitting there, daydreaming. Kir nods and plops a helmet on your head, adjusting the strap under your chin.

“Shopping first, then the bar?” He leads you to the several scooters in sanctuary’s possession, rolling the most new-looking, sandy and just slightly scraped on the wings, on the road and helping you onto it. The machine dips under your combined weight, but Kir doesn’t seem concerned, starting up the engine and driving off the sanctuary territory.

Nearby town can barely pass as one, looking more like a glorified village – small buildings, no higher than three stories, basically a single curved street between them and continuing on to the bigger road. Finally seeing it in the daylight and without the exhaustion of a long trip that kept weighing your eyelids down when you first arrived there on a bus to be picked up by your crew, you find it just as charming – as well as noticing some larger signs of civilization a couple kilometers to the west, tall power transmission poles and antennas around some fenced off facility.

While you try to remember if there was something industrial mentioned when you read about the place you were going to, Kir drags you inside a cramped convenience store, literal mountains of fresh fruits, vegetables and nuts in crates at the entrance and the most random selection of imported goods on the shelves – in a moment of weakness, you pick up some suspiciously looking lime-flavoured crisps and a few cans of cold soda from a fridge that sounds like a fighter aircraft going down from a direct hit, but still manages to keep products inside cool and wet with the condensate.

You leave the store, chewing on some dried fruits Kir helped you choose – even got a discount from a familiar cashier that was happy to inform that they can place orders for some goods if you’re planning to stay longer. Behind your cheerfully polite smile you felt that same wave of belonging that keeps coming back to you.

“We’re a bit late, so all the tables are probably taken, do you mind sitting at the bar?” After you leave your groceries in the scooter trunk, Kir leads you up to the pub, its neon sign already glowing in the slowly approaching darkness, and holds the door open, nodding at the bar counter with just three free stools to your luck.

Keeping in mind that he has “precious cargo” to deliver back, as he calls you, he orders a coke for himself and pays for your cider, promising that it’s one of the things you can actually drink there.

“That’s my favourite, the pear one. When I come here on foot, always grab a bottle or two.” You lean onto the counter, feet dangling above the dirty wooded floor, as you chat with him – he indulges you in the town gossip with some additions from the bartender, making you chuckle as the cider tickles the roof of your mouth. It’s actually good, you admit, and Kir buys you another one before leaving to the bathroom “to see if they have another spider infestation”, which earns him a shoulder slap from the bartender.

When you turn to watch him make way through packed room, you feel your heart stop for a moment, like a prey that finally notices it’s being watched. It’s a fleeting sensation that almost immediately disappears, but you almost hit yourself in the teeth with the bottle neck, once you notice them.

Four men in the furthest corner, staring at you openly – they’re not trying to be discreet, the bearded one saluting you with his whiskey tumbler and two of his buddies flashing you smiles. Friendly smiles, not the ones that make your skin crawl in similar bar encounters back in the big city. Even the one with his face covered by a mask and arms crossed over his bulky chest nods at you and sinks further in his seat, as if it could help him look smaller and less threatening. They seem chill, clearly minding their own business and avoiding the other patrons in that corner, not interested in the rowdy fun of a work day evening among tired people unwinding before heading home.

To fight that initial creeped out feeling, you nod back at them, quickly averting your gaze with a chuckle once you see them light up almost too obviously. Must’ve been ogling you for quite some time, if the smallest acknowledgement gets you such a reaction. It’s kinda sweet, their excitement radiating from the corner, and you watch from the corner of your eye them exchanging a few words before one of them has to force the big guy with a mohawk back into his seat, as if he was already ready to rush through the bar to talk to you.

“I go away for five minutes, and you’re already making eyes at someone?” Your eyes shoot up to see smiling Kir, but as you watch his expression change once he glances over his shoulder at your four watchers, your brows knit together. “Oh, no, cookie, you stay away from that folk, alright? Come on, let’s go, before they come up here.”

Before you even can object, Kir tugs on your elbow insistently, and you have no choice but to grab your almost finished bottle, say a hasty goodbye to the bartender and follow him, stumbling from the sheer force he drags you with, clearly in hurry to get out of the tightly packed bar.

“Hey, can you at least explain? I’m coming, don’t need to drag me, you know,” you try to keep your irritation down. After all, he has done nothing but look out for you, and if there’s anyone you can trust to know all locals, it’s him. Still, you steal a glance at the four-men company and get the unsettling feeling once again, this time not without a reason: the concentrated, slightly frowning looks all four of the men watch you leave with, don’t feel as friendly anymore.

It's only outside, once the night breeze strokes your heated from the alcohol and crowd proximity cheeks, that Kir lets go of your arm and sighs, putting the helmet on you. His voice sounds hushed, and he looks you dead in the eyes, as he says:

“Don’t mess with them, don’t even talk to them, okay? No one wants them here, they’re not locals. The less business we have with them, the better, especially since you’re here just temporarily. I don’t trust them, and you shouldn’t either. Can you promise?”

By the way you look at him, utterly confused, Kir finally realizes how paranoid he sounds and runs a hand over his face, before looking around and leaning to your ear to say even quieter:

“They’ve been roaming around for months already, cookie. They’re military. They’re bad news from the West.”

Suddenly, you realize what that fenced off facility you saw earlier was. A military base.

Just twenty minutes away from the natural reserve.

Part 5 | Part 6.5 | Part 7

Series masterlist | Main masterlist

Tagging: @elaineiswithyou-blog @creepingeva @my-halo-is-a-little-broken @sillymanjaro @ihatethinkingofnames10 @ravensfeatheruniverse @yaminax @ljh861 @darkangel4121 @ginger-n-coco @grey-shadow6475 @cryingpages @mothsdrabbles @mc-glare-is-king @vixxie22 @aldis-nuts @terraantarctica @henhouse-horrors @blizzivy @perfectus-in-morte @danielle143 @llavalada @yukichan67 @sleepisfortheweakpooh @ilxina @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @misscaller06 @etherealinthewoods

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karlachismylife · 2 months ago

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Tough Spot || The Queen of the Clan pt.2

CW: fem!chubby!reader, mentions of animal marking/spraying/urinating

When you took a break in trying to get your behaviorist degree and took off to partake in this documentary on a whim, you certainly were prepared that it won't meet the highest expectations - life isn't a movie, after all, so perhaps you weren't hoping to find the purpose of life magically after you somewhat lost the direction, or to make an earth-shattering discovery that would turn behaviorist world upside down and earn you a place among scientific hall of fame. A distraction from an all-consuming apathy that creeped up in your life, perhaps, some useful experience close to your field of interest. Some connections and friendships, if nothing else - these were your (pretty reasonable) expectations.

Definitely not having to share a tent with a man you barely knew, because a huge hyena sprayed its stink all over your things, making it impossible to stay near your posessions for a long period of time.

Sure, lucky you - most of your stuff inside the backpack was very salvageable, your clothes and food intact. But everything that got under a direct attack - your little tent, sleeping bag, your favourite thermos and a little sitting mat, all that was most definitely due for a deep clean with some heavy scent remover, and your crew was in for a filming trip for the next several days without returning to your main dislocation at a sanctuary just next to the nature reserve you were filming in. So no cleaning and washing for you in aproximately a week. In short - you would've been fucked, sleeping in a smelly tent and sleeping bag or completely unprotected in a roofless vehicle, if not for Kir.

As you stand there with an apologetic expression on your face, hands clenched guiltily, he just laughs all your muttered thanks and apologies off, flashing you the friendliest of smiles as he sets up his own tent. A true knight in shining armor (some cargo pants and a blank, tight-fitting T-shirt in his case), Kir doesn't even let you help, telling you that your chatting is more than help enough as he prepares your new sleeping arrangements. Out of everyone on the crew he was the first to offer you to share his tent, and the fact that he had a backup sleeping bag only nailed the decision in.

"Don't worry, it's not a bother at all. If I was a newbie and something like this happened to me, you'd help me out too, I'm sure," he makes it hard to argue and feel like you're being a burden. Already a veteran of these filmings, Kir disctracts you from your upset mood with similar stories - about some scientist guy walking straight into a buffalo shitpile, a bunch of monkeys ravaging crew's backpacks and pulling out some poor girl's vibrator to play hot potato with it, a jackal finding one of the timelapse night cameras and flooding it generously... "They're animals, they just have a sense of humor like that. No one blames you for that guy taking a liking to you."

Kir's bright smile and cheerful words reassure you. He's being a gentleman about everything else too - allows you to take the higher ground to sleep there since the spot where his - and your now too - tent stands has a bit of an angle to it, lets you choose which sleeping bag you want, stays outside as you change for sleep even though you were perfectly fine doing it in the sleeping bag itself. The only un-gentlemanly thing Kir does is stay up with you until deep into the loud wild night, telling you more stories, already from his job at the sanctuary. As you whisper to each other and try to muffle your giggles, you hear rustling outside, someone walking around on soft paws, stopping several times at your tent and even sniffing loudly - you left your backpack nearby, unwilling to put the stinky thing into the tent. But the smell seems to work for you this time, since whatever it was, it leaves soon after.

In the morning you barely get out, a bit tired after your late night talkshow with Kir, only to learn that there were two hyenas in the camp - a bunch of the crew are crowded around a patch where the parprints are especially visible, getting the footage just in case it'll make into the final cut. One of the scientists measures the prints and estimates the sizes of both hyenas: both could be up to 1,8 meters in length judging from how wide apart their footprints lay. In other words - fucking huge, even for spotted hyenas.

"You think your friend from yesterday came with a buddy to spread some more perfume?" You scrunch your nose at Kir's joke and rush to check on your backpack, but it doesn't seem to be chewed on or reek worse than yesterday. Great news, honestly, since you'll be driving with that thing tucked into the back of a Land Rover while you follow the path of the lion pride you should be filming.

The sun is alredy high up and pretty ruthless by the time you come across any significant wildlife - and it's not lions, but something equally good for the documentary: a big herd of zebras. Once again, you are mesmerized, majestic striped horses so close to you that it doesn't seem real. They are aware of your crew's presence, but stay chill, perhaps seeing people and their weird appliances not for the first time.

Following your instructions, you carefully tread the tall grass to move a bit further from the parked vehicles and take some shots of the herd; you choose your favourite zebra - a mother with a little baby waving it's puny tail and constantly shoving its adorable snout under mother's belly for milk - and zoom in on her, setting quite a neat shot. After you settle the videocamera, you take out your personal one to take some photos, but suddenly the zebras perk up, ears twitching and chewing coming to an end. You lower your camera at first, confused by their reactions - you didn't hear anything? - but then lift it up againt to search for the source of zebras' worries through zoom.

And source of worries you find.

Two hunched silouettes, out in the open, dark manes fluffed up and tails in a clearly aggresive stance - a couple of enormous, compared to the zebras, hyenas are creeping up to them, hind legs tucked up under their bulky bodies, ready to pounce... and then one of them, a smaller one with darker fur, darts forward.

A hunting hyena is an impressive view, their speed exceeding what one might expect just looking at their burly, asymmetrical builds - but exactly that legs length difference allows them to speed so fast that your camera struggles to capture them. But what's impressive onscreen, is fucking terrifying in real life.

Because a herd of zebras is panicking at the sight of a predator closing in on one of them, and in panic they start to run.

You're in their way.

The sound of dozens of hooves hitting dry, solid ground mixes with your own blood pumping in your ears. In an act of brain malfunction, you somehow find yourself more worried about the expensive camera (it's not even yours) being trampled than yourself, and try to pick it up with the tripod - seconds dragging on like molten resin boiling under the cruel noon sun. The ground is trembling under the scared animals, dust and dry grass up in the air.

A high-pitched sound breaks you out of stupor. Loud cackling with an undertone of alarm gets closer too, and as you stumble backwards, a big dark form zooms past you, rushing fearlessly towards the fear-crazed zebras. It's reckless even for a carnivoure they're afraid of: nothing can guarantee that the herd will stop or turn away as the hyena approaches them head-on, and you prepare yourself to witness a gruesome scene of a hunter falling by the hooves of hunted.

But it somehow works. Last moment, the zebras notice the hyena flying at them with a scary laugh and change the direction of their fleeing route, less lucky among them falling and getting pushed over, but hyenas - more of them now, four, it seems? - don't bother pouncing the fallen ones, putting all their efforts into... simply chasing their prey away?

Confused and still stunned into a frozen mode, you watch the little baby zebra buck its tiny legs at a hyena barking at it lazily and clamping its huge maw, capable of crushing huge bones, on thin air. Trotting for a few more meters, the predator stalls and then simply turns away, casting you a glance before slowly treading back to its buddy. The one whose disheveled mane and wide stance you recognize immediately.

Blinking, you finally find yourself able to collect your equipment, although with trembling hands - your shoulders are still tense in a protective manner, and you flinch, when Kir rushes to you to help with the heavy camera.

"Oh my god, are you okay? I thought I'd shit myself when I saw them running at us," he looks sickly, you're probably no better. You dump the tripod and the camera into his arms happily, clutching your own, and walk on stumbling legs back to the rover.

You're met with a pair of bit wet eyes when you finally get to the car.

Somehow a single hyena - where did its buddies go? - doesn't seem all that scary after you nearly avoided being stomped by a hundred zebras, so you take a few more steps before finally remembering to be cautious. Kir is just a few meters away, loading the camera into the car, so it means he walked past the hyena unharmed, right?

You don't get to ask that question or shoo the animal away: just like yesterday, it appears up next to you in a gracious pounce, nuzzling your hip again. The noise that leaves its throat is absolutely horrid, an annoying screeching, sightly hoarse and just as high-pitched as its laugh. Wagging its tail, the hyena circles you several time, bumping into your legs - each time you don't respond or move, the screech gets only louder, until you give up.

"Stop it! Hush! S-stop yelling, shut up!" Bold of you to try and order a wild animal around. Maybe that's exactly why it works - the noise cuts off abruptly, the hyena taking a step back to plop its chonky ass on the ground. It looks at you just like a tamed dog would - mouth slightly agape in a toothy smile, head tilted and ears fluttering, as if it's eager to hear what else you have to say.

You're not made of steel to stay indifferent an wary at this sight.

"Huh. So you do listen sometimes. I guess you just hated my backpack that much," you still grumble at the hyena, and it flattens its round ears with guilt, slowly dipping down to the ground. Aren't they supposed to be like cats? But this one looks at you with the definition of puppy eyes. "You could've done worse... and I guess you saved me today. Thank you, Stinky."

The hyena lights up and sits back up with its chest puffed out as it hears you acknowledge the way it steered the scared herd away from you and your crew, but all its pride fizzles out as soon as you give it a name. You get a disapproving look and a loud giggle, clearly mocking your sense of humor in naming the hyena.

"Don't look at me like that, I can't sleep in my own sleeping bag now because of you. Have to share a tent with Kir," you nod at the young man sitting in the driver's sit with an amused expression, and the hyena turns to look at him too. Judging by the way Kir's smile fades, the look he recieved from the animal wasn't a kind one.

"Come on, we have to get a move on, still about fifty kilometers to cover today," he mutters, and you try to move past Stinky (oh yes, you're keeping the name) to the car, but it suddenly jumps to its feet and barrels at you again, rubbing at your legs and nuzzling your thighs. It even shoves its snout into your crotch, tail flailng up high, but the loud sound of an engine starting right behind it finally scares the weird animal away. It trots to the side, stops to look at you again, as if checking if you're still stumbling after being scared half to death by the herd, then resumes its leisurely pace, waving its tail.

You huff, getting into your seat, and dust your pants of some coarse fur the rascal left.

"Weird fucking guy," you mutter about the hyena more to yourself than yo Kir, who already jokes about you being a hyena whisperer. "And stinky, too."

You'll just have to hope his buddies won't try to follow into his pawsteps.

Part 1 | Part 1.5 | Part 3

Series masterlist | Main masterlist

Tagging: @elaineiswithyou-blog

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karlachismylife · 2 months ago

Text

Spot on the Mark || The Queen of the Clan pt.5

CW: fem!chubby!reader, mentions of animal marking/pasting, some piss mentioned again, dead animal mentioned (no descriptions).

A lot more work goes into a wildlife documentary than you thought. It was obvious that it’s not as simple as just grabbing good quality cameras and riding off into savannah blindly, but the amount of tricks and different ways to get enough shots for a compelling and educational storyline you’re learning about seems infinite: from studying animals’ trails and routes of migration to hauling senior operators up into the trees to film fluffy and feathered stars of the future documentary as up close as possible without disturbing their natural peace.

These people have done it time and time again, telling you about the months-long stakeouts on bigger productions, the ones that can afford to simply wait every day for an animal to come and do what the script requires; the masking of carefully placed hides that can still be not enough to trick a smart bird into thinking it was all alone and perform a beautiful mating dance; the difficult hikes that test everyone’s endurance and result in barely ten seconds of footage in the end cut. You can’t help but feel excited yet intimidated when your turn comes to participate in one such trick, intended to shorten the waiting time your smaller production just can’t afford. It’s not that difficult, but it’s smart and elegant – at least in your opinion.

This is how you find yourself stuck in your Rover with Kir, wrapped in a small blanket for additional warmth, while he meddles with the sound equipment: speakers mounted on the hood of the car and a knot of wires connecting them to a laptop, screen covered up with a scarf to muffle its light. You’re holding your night vision camera pointed at a spot just several meters ahead, a fresh carcass placed under a tree to attract a carnivore, two more cameras planted at different angles on the ground and one more strapped to a branch right above the “dining table”.

A switch clicks, and the night fills with triumphant hyena whooping, a whole cacophony of different voices celebrating a kill. This is a dinner bell for lions – no matter what the public’s perception is, it’s often the big cats coming to steal hyenas’ fresh kills, not the other way around. You hold your breath, misty clouds of steam coming out of your mouth dissipating in the loud, poorly lit night. You wait.

Time doesn’t stretch as much as you would think. This isn’t a boring, monotonous wait of a text back in a stuffy big city apartment, the only “wildlife” sounds seeping through the closed windows – revving engines of nighttime dumbass street racers or neighbours yelling at each other over hysterically loud TV.

Compared to what you’re used to, savannah seems peaceful. Somewhere in the vast darkness big predators avoid each other’s paths, unwilling to start unnecessary fights. Grass rustles in a rhythmic pattern as little springhares jump through the night, stopping to glance at the huge, imposing shadow of a human car just once and continuing on their way. The wind breathes quietly and calmly with the cooling ground, welcoming a lively picture of a complex system, each part of which is perfectly in tune with others.

You feel like you could be a part of it – like it’s a place you can actually belong to, care for and be taken care of in return, unlike the constant hectic hostility of a city. They call it concrete jungles, but none of the brutal ways of nature you’ve witnessed in the wild so far can compare to the ruthless, pointless cruelty human kind inflicts on itself and everyone else.

There is a hopefulness inside you that was completely snuffed out previously, and it sounds like a smooth, lulling chirping of insects hidden in the wet grass.

Loud baboon yelling alerts you before you manage to clock any movement or hear an animal approaching your little spectacle. Insane luck. Before gluing yourself to the camera, you glance at the time and it’s barely an hour after you put the recording on – it’s hard to contain your excitement, but you manage to keep your hands steady as you scope the area in search of your guest. Kir shifts in his seat next to you, picking up his simple night vision binoculars and following the same trajectory as your camera lens.

When you see a distinctive hunched silhouette sniffing at the bait, you almost feel the tiniest bit of disappointment – no lions today, huh? – that quickly gets replaced with surprise.

The hyena doesn’t even touch the food you placed to lure animals in and turns its back on it, instead staring straight at you and Kir. Its ears twitch, clearly determining the direction where other hyenas’ noises are coming from, and slowly, almost leisurely, it moves towards you.

“It’s coming here, Kir,” you whisper, still keeping the camera rolling, too fascinated with the elegance of each silent step the huge, dark form with devilishly glowing eyes in your night vision tape takes. “Didn’t even try the meat… what do we do?”

“Ah, shit, that’s a first one.” He sounds more surprised than concerned, and after a moment of hesitation, reaches out to turn the luring sounds off. “Maybe it’s already killed and got territorial? Worst case scenario, we just scare it away. You getting the footage?”

“I… am, yeah… it’s pretty.” Somehow you aren’t even surprised anymore, when the hyena ignores the fact that the calls of its peers or more likely rivals stop abruptly – there’s something deeply wrong with them here, you decide, too much human contact or something. Maybe these ones were released from the sanctuary? But no one in their right mind would let such domesticated animals back into the wild, right?

While the myriad of possibilities swarms your mind, the camera keeps recording, and you, quite well-trained already, don’t even seem to realize that you’re following the hyena’s steps, turning the camera more and more to the side as the animal approaches your Rover. Wait-

“Tsk, hold up!” Kir’s hand hooks into your back belt loop and pulls you slightly back into the car. When did you even stand up to lean over the car door? “Let’s not diversify its diet today with soft city cookies, alright?”

“Sorry, sorry,” you whisper, sitting back down. For a moment – just a moment – you lose the animal out of sight while you pull your pants back up, and the next thing you know it’s already right in front of you.

Standing on its short hind legs and resting front paws on the car side to lean inside.

A big snout shoved almost into your face, coming into your darkness-shortened sight out of nowhere, is bound to freak you out – you drop your camera, luckily catching it in your lap, and pull back, pressing your back into Kir, who can only grunt quietly under the sudden weight and grip your shoulders protectively.

The hyena just snorts and tilts is head adorably, a soft, almost reproachful look in its bit wet eyes reflecting every little light on the car’s dashboard and your equipment. There’s something familiar to this slender, elegant snout, nodding in the air as the big nose takes in your scent, toned down by the contrasting savannah night cold.

“Chocolate?.. Is that you?” It’s a wild guess, honestly – you can’t see shit without your camera, only able to notice the hyena’s movements by the wet glistening of its eyes, nose and lips, and even through the night vision equipment you weren’t able to determine your guest’s colour – something that would definitely help distinguish Chocolate from any other hyenas; you doubt there are any others, who are already this big and grown up, yet still carry their childish dark brown hide. Maybe Chocolate is a melanistic variant? You’ve never heard of such mutations in spotted hyenas, but it’s not like you specialize in them, right?

A soft grunt tears through your thoughts again, a non-threatening pitch that almost sounds like purring – along with the repeated scratching of its claws on the steel side of your Rover, Chocolate seems like a cat more than anything. A huge, maned cat asking to be let inside.

“No-no-no, buddy, you’re not coming into the car. It’s humans only.” You try to sound stern – it seems to work on these animals, but it’s so damn hard, when your visitor whines quietly and flutters its rounded ears, staring at you hypnotically. “Come on, there’s food. Look!”

A nod in the direction of the carcass, attracting no one but some flies it seems, has no effect on the hyena. When you pretend to throw something there, Chocolate giggles quietly and lowers itself back on the ground – but when it realizes you won’t be throwing any of your real possessions for it to chase after, it stands up against, reaching its long, thick-furred neck to breathe a hot, steamy snort into your face.

And just like that, after you blink at the pretty muzzle in disbelief, trying to find an appropriate way to react to a wild, dangerous animal almost sneezing in your face, it leaves to inspect your car.

For a moment, you worry it’ll try and jump inside from the back, but it seems to have lost any interest to join a party it wasn’t invited to. Slowly, you scramble back into your seat, relieving Kir of your weight and earning a supportive pat on the back from him, and pick up your camera to watch Chocolate.

“What’s it doing?” Kir’s whisper suddenly elicits more of a reaction from the hyena than any of your stern talking – it lifts its head from the tire it was sniffing at and scowls, a striking killer smile flashing in your direction. Seeing its sharp canines nestled in the massive jaws makes a cold shiver run down your spine. This just was right in front of your face with nothing to protect you against a sudden attack.

“Shh, quiet… don’t agitate it,” you whisper back as soon as you manage to swallow the snowball-like lump in your throat. Kir shuts up, clearly a full-on believer in your hyena whisperer abilities now, and you watch on as Chocolate lowers its cute head back, sniffing and pawing at your tire.

After several minutes of looking between you and the wheel, sniffs and huffs growing more and more impatient and exasperated, it gives up on whatever it was trying to tell you – you could swear it rolls its eyes too! – and circles your car, flicking the fluffy brush on the end of its tail in what you can only assume to be a goodbye.

You’re wrong. A real goodbye is left a few meters away from the Rover on Kir’s side. Your curious night visitor stops abruptly, sniffs the air, tilting its head so far back that it almost rests on its shoulder blades, and then, without a warning – what warning could you expect though? – it crouches down to paste over a particular spot in the tall grass.

“Is that?..” – “Yes.” You tear yourself away from the camera to glance at Kir, just in time to see him sigh heavily and put his binoculars down, rubbing his hand down his face painted with disbelief, eyebrows raised high and lips pressed together. You’re still not sure – even though little snickers already start escaping your throat and roll down your nose in sweet snorts – so you pry again: “The spot where you went to-“ – “Yes.”

Even the need to hold your camera still to capture Chocolate marking its territory with a thick smelly paste smeared all over the grass Kir went to pee in several hours ago can’t prevent you from giggling. Anxious about scaring the animal and provoking it, you cover your own mouth and keep filming – eyes on the little black and white picture just in time to see Chocolate shake its plush butt, tail high up to assert dominance, and turn to look at you.

Or, perhaps, to look at Kir.

“Okay, okay, got it, no pissing on your territory. Jeez, buddy, no need to be so petty about it, I probably live here as long as you do.” Hearing Kir mutter under his nose as he gets stared down by a proud carnivore is hilarious.

“You disrespected it. What’s it like, to have a sworn enemy because of your bladder?” Your little giggles elicit two smiles at the same time – an embarrassed one from Kir, who threatens to snore into your ear directly once you wrap up this nightly stakeout, and another wide, toothy one from Chocolate.

You can’t be sure with the blurry image your camera shows you, but you once again feel like it winks at you. How likely is it for this hyena to have some eye problems that cause it to constantly dish out the flirtiest winks an animal is capable of?

“Oh, look, it’s leaving,” Kir finally turns away from the direction Chocolate left in, and just scoffs when you hear distant whooping slowly pick up in frequency before it disappears into the night. “Wanna try with the record again? I’m not sure we will attract anyone if there are actual hyenas around, though.”

“No, no, let’s try again,” you’re fully energized despite your arms feeling cold because the blanket slipped off your shoulders when you got spooked by Chocolate. Kir pulls it back up, wrapping you in a warm cocoon, and rubs your shoulder absentmindedly while he rewinds the recording and tries slightly different settings. “Maybe we’ll attract Stinky at least, these two seem to be buddies.”

“Yeah, right,” he responds, wrapping his own jacket tighter around himself. “Because that little shit will cause less chaos that the one we just saw.”

You can’t argue with that. If that was Stinky that came to the false call, it would have definitely jumped into the back of your Rover.

“At least that’s some good footage to post online. They’re cute. Will be good promo for the documentary.”

Kir grumbles something into the warm thermos, steam clouding the air between you, and hands it to you – to warm both your hands and your whole body from the inside.

Even if you don’t catch a lion tonight, you still caught something precious – right in your heart. You just have to find a way to define it properly.

Part 4 | Part 6

Series masterlist | Main masterlist

Here's an illustration to Chocolate's visit:

youtube

Comrades, I think I'm too deep in this now, I started watching documentaries about filming documentaries, the docuseption is coming for me...

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karlachismylife · 2 months ago

Text

Blind Spot || The Queen of the Clan pt.3

CW: fem!chubby!reader, kinda stalking and privacy invasion (what privacy out in the savanna though), mentions of pissing/marking

You're still shaken even by the end of the day, and you're not alone in this state: no one fancies being trampled, no matter how beuatiful the wild black and white horsy lolipops are, and even the local guides look unnerved by today's brush with a horrific death. So you don't feel weird when you find yourself restless and on high alert deep into the barely moonlit night - even though Kir has it better than you and breathes evenly in the sleeping bag next to you, he mutters something like "careful" when you climb out of your tent. He understands, doesn't complain - honestly, a great fucking guy to have as your friend here.

The night is quite cooler than the frying pan that the days out here are, but it's still relatively warm and filled with loud noises, making it feel much more welcoming, even though by logic you should be more afraid of the darkness filled with so much wildlife than of a still, silent night. You and your human vision are no better than unsuspecting antilopas stocking up on some grass for an upcoming migration - an easy target for a silent predator, whose glinting eyes in the night vision camera will be the last thing flashing before it pounces you.

But then again, you have everyone around you to alert of an intruder: cautious birds, crickets, loud enough to make your eardrums vibrate as you pass their invisible high grounds on quiety rustling grass blades. Even some distant monkeys calling each other, ready to warn everyone around them like the good neighbours they are. That's probably more than your human neighbours in the city would do for you, if they even had noticed an intruder under late night TV or headphones.

Surely, you're safe enough in the confines of a camp to step aside and pee before going back to sleep.

You turn around to be greeted with a sight straight out of Conan Doyle's Hound of the Baskervilles, savannah edition. A huge, dog-like figure, looming right in the passage between tents ominously, a bare skull where its head should be.

If you didn't have to piss before, you sure do now.

The animal seems to sense the way your heart drops, fingers growing cold immediately, a potential shriek stuck in your throat, and moves. Takes a step back. Gets its lowered, unthreatening head out of the complete darkness - a pair of plush, round ears, one chipped harshly, light mane and an uneven patch of lighter fur on its mangled, but still adorable in its way, muzzle (so that's the skull) revealed.

A fucking hyena. Again. At least not the one that already took a habit of nuzzling up to you and using your backpack as its toilet - although, judging solely by size, this one would be more dominant - even though dominant hyenas don't usually go around looking like they were mauled by their whole clan. Still, who's to say it won't decide to go and spray over the other's scent just to prove who's more important? A single thought of getting your stuff double-scented makes your eyes water. Hyenas fucking stink.

"Don't you dare come piss on my stuff, you fucking Baskerville mutt," you threaten the hyena quietly, backing off into the patch of grass you intended to water. The hyena scoffs at you, but bows its head again. Its eyes - just two glistening orbs in the scarce lighting you have here - don't seem all that pleading and submissive, like the other one's did, but you know better than to judge animals by their eyes. They're not humans, no matter how similar their behaviour sometimes is, and you have to rely on indicators like their stance and vocalization.

Your ghostly visitor seems to be pretty calm. Perhaps got attracted by the unfamiliar hyena's smell you brought with yourself, and now is mostly confused and wary of the bulky tents with many humans inside - and one lucky human outside.

"There's no food for you here. You better go hunt somewhere else, or you'll be hungry," you try not to think that there is very much food for the hyena - namely, you - and back away further. The hyena that seemed quite content with just standing in one place all hauntingly, suddenly moves, pushes its ears back and whoops at you, making you stop abruptly.

The grass right where your foot would be planted moves silently and a single glint of a snake hurrying away from the big clumsy distrubance sends a shiver down your spine. You can't make out what snake it was, but you sure as hell don't mind never knowing compared to the other alternative. You shoot a glance at the hyena in its guarded position, and you find yourself able to follow the snake's path by the subtle movements of your fluffy savior's eyes. Huh. Not even a full twenty-four hours, and you're already saved twice by hyenas. If that's not the biggest middle finger to the Lion King, then what?

"Do you mind staying on watch while I pee, maybe?" you chuckle, teasing the hyena - surely it doesn't understand you, but it lets out a low whiny growl, as if acknowledging that it heard you try and communicate with it. You comtemplate hiding behind someone's tent (that's not very neighbourly, though) or a rover (too far, and who knows how many more snakes are there to taste your ankles along the way), but the train of thought lands back where you started: putting on a show in front of a hyena out of a ghost story.

You'll just have to pray that it doesn't consider you simply relieving yourself as an attempt to assert dominance or call dibs on its territory.

Surprisingly, the hyena averts its eyes as you crouch down in an uncomfortable position, your legs already cramping and the very real fear of anything crawling into your panties keeping you from actually letting go. When you finally manage, your guard's ears twitch, turning to the hissing sound, but it almost makes a point to keep its muzzle turned away - the logical explanation would be that there's actually something more interesting for the animal in the direction it's looking at. But you can dream of a respectful hyena ghost standing guard while you struggle to pull your pants back up, right?

You circle the hyena on the way back, keeping your eyes on it the whole time, and it turns its big patterned head to follow you too, wagging its tail lazily once or twice as you nearly stumble on the uneven ground. You only turn away from him, pretty much fed up with your night escapades (what did you want though, you're in the middle of the animal kingdom), as you try to open your and Kir's tent.

And then you hear the rustling and a low grumble. Alerted, you lift your head, prepared to scream as a last attempt to wander the predator off, only to find it fully laying on the ground, snout-first in the dust, rolling around and getting sand and dirt into its mane as it rubs its hide desperately at a certain spot on the ground.

The spot you just peed on.

"Ew, pervert," you react faster than you should, words slipping out as if you were actually witnessing a human do the same, not an animal that's very much used to rubbing its scent off on others and recieving the same treatment. But then again, what hyena wants human scent on its fur?

The hyena seems to hear you though. Its jolly tossing stops immediately, and you meet its huge dark eyes for a moment, before it makes another whiny grumbling noise - much more high-pitched this time, as if you caught the poor furry baby off guard and embarassed it - and scatters away, rushing silently through the night until it simply dissolves into the darkness.

Just like a ghost should.

Part 2 | Part 3.5 | Part 4

Series masterlist | Main masterlist

Tagging: @elaineiswithyou-blog @creepingeva @my-halo-is-a-little-broken @sillymanjaro @ihatethinkingofnames10 @ravensfeatheruniverse @yaminax @ljh861

honestly i don't know if posting updates so fast is a good idea, but i'm an attention whore and seeing people enjoy this thing overdozes me on dopamine better than any differential equation could, so i'll try and make updates as each previous chapter reaches a 100 notes. also a reminder that i will eventually block ageless blogs interacting at least with the nsfw chapters, so please take a minute and put your age in your bio or pinned post!

you can ask to be added to the taglist under series masterlist post

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karlachismylife · 27 days ago

Note

Your writing scratches my brain in the same way that those head massager thingies scratch your head

Lol I got a shiver from thinking about that thing, oooh~

Thank you so much!! I'm so glad it does, I hope I'll be able to keep up ^^ Appreciate you a lot <3 Now I'm thinking about task force 141 and the head massager.

Gaz is sitting on the couch, watching one of the endless list of the series he actually keeps up with, relaxed with a cup of hot chocolate in his hand. As you sneak up on him from behind, careful not to slip in your socks, he doesn't reveal if he notices you, but he does - because as soon as the wires of the massager with little beads on their ends bury into his short curls, he hums appreciatively and almost closes his eyes. His head tilts to give you better access and allow him to keep watching the show from under his fluttering dark lashes, and if he could purr, he would, you think.

"Feels good, baby," his voice does sound like a purr, actually. After you get a little tired of melting your man into putty and stop, putting the device away, Kyle tilts his head all the way back to look at you upside down with a smile, and reaches his hand to pull you in for an inverted kiss over the couch backrest. "Although I still prefer your hands. Sit with me? There's a cute dog in this episode."

After you settle between his legs, he makes sure to give you a nice scalp massage too, kissing the crown of your head and wrapping his arms around your midsection afterwards.

When you sit across Price with that thing and scratch your scalp while you read through your book, he immediately notices and puts his work papers down, pushing his reading glasses down to the tip of his nose with a puzzled look.

"What are ya doing, sweetheart?" He sounds a little too confused and curious to not snort at it. Instead of straight up answering the question, though, you just lean over the table and carefully place the massager on the crown of his head, watching out for his reaction. His blue eyes stay focused on you sharply despite the smile slowly blooming on his face and crinkling little crow's feet in their corners, but after the first two test rubs through his thick hair you already notice that steel focus wavering, until John gives up and lets his eyes shut close completely. Even his face relaxes, that bright smile dimmed in favour of a blissfully out of it expression, and you actually feel butterflies in your tummy as you watch blush creeping up his face up to the round cheeks and the tips of his ears.

He actually hogs that little "brain whisk" as he calls it, and you catch him using it on his beard with an even more blissful look on his face more than one time.

Ghost actually looks at the poor wire thing with so much distrust that you can't even laugh at him - you've seen him eye some other self-care devices with same expression, like he's not entirely sure whether it's really just a massager or a tourture device. Or a sex thing. Or all three combined. He side-eyes you the whole time as you taunt him with it, delighted by the unease this huge man exudes from such an innocent thing - even though you clearly see the corner of his scarred mouth curling up after a couple minutes. "Keep tha' bloody thing away from me, eh?"

When he finally lets you push the spider legs of this thing over his head, freed from a black hood, he freezes. You actually feel all his muscles get rigid, little goosebumps of tension on visible patches of his skin. The only noise he makes, though, is a disapproving grunt when you try to get the massager away, so you reluctantly push it up and down again, confused by Simon's reaction.

What surprises you even more, though, is that after you tune out because of the repetitive movement, you suddenly hear a nasal snore. He bloody fell asleep under this thing's spell. And rest assured, he'll be bringing it to you like a dog with a toy, when he wants to get some sweet pre-nap scratches.

As soon as Soap notices the massager in your hands, he snatches it from you and tries to use it on you with a little too much force, leading to you squirming and kicking your legs as he promptly catches you in a headlock. It's only after several bites into his meaty forearm and a threat to kick him out to the couch for the night that he lets you go, proceeding to immediately hand you the torture device with the most pleading eyes you have ever seen.

"Please, bonnie? Ah cannae do it tae meself right, come on, Ah need yer help. Pretty please?" When you inevitably crack and agree to indulge him, Johnny drags you over to the couch and plops himself on the floor between your legs, his own crossed as he settles comfortably and locks his hands around his ankles. His reaction to the scratching his priceless, body hair standing up - even his mohawk seems to fluff up a bit - and his jaw going slack to the point where he's almost drooling on his own chest.

It's an adorable sight, really, just like all those pups on social media that go stupid as soon as the magic whisk touches their fluffy heads. You lean over to give your human puppy a kiss and tease him, but instead... "Johnny, for fuck's sake, did you really get hard from this thing?!"

Hyena shapeshifters!141 bonus: the boys absolutely love to get headscratches with this massager in their hyena form. Sure, it sometimes catches in their manes or even ears, but they just melt into fluffy spotted puddles, drool everywhere, whining and purring to the best of their abilities. Ghost definitely brings it to you in his teeth to ask for some relaxation, since this thing turns his thoughts off; Price for some reason has a tendency to sneeze when you use it on him in his hyenaform; Gaz still can't help his playing reflexes that make him try and catch your hand with the "toy" in it; and Soap shamelessly puts his fat spotted butt out, because he loves getting scratches on it just as much as on his head.

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karlachismylife · 1 month ago

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Saw this and immediately thought of you! I hope your hiatus goes well!

Thank you so much, love! This cuteness was helping me keep it together during my hiatus and as you can see I survived, all thanks to you! Honestly the "thought of you" part just makes me tear up. Being the Hyena CEO of COD fandom is one of my biggest accomplishments (and also the most pleasant one cuz I get cute hyenas in my askbox).

So now that I'm out of my hiatus, let me tell you that these two? SoapGaz all the way.

CW: basically a short spinoff of the Queen of the Clan, can be seen as both canon and non-canon to the main story, so fem!chubby!reader and this is already established poly 141 x reader (ooh spoilers), a little bit of animal (well, shapeshifter) genitalia touching (non-sexual no matter how hard Soap- okay I'm out)

It's already at dusk that you're suddenly tasked with a simple thing everyone just kinda forgot about: there are new camera traps that need to be installed in the further part of the sanctuary, in the middle of the hyena territory, and since your reputation of a hyena whisperer has been firmly established, no one even thinks of other candidates for the late job.

You'd be quite grumpy about it if you didn't know you'll have the sweetest company to keep you safe and entertained.

Once you load the equipment into your backpack and receive written instructions - at least they didn't make you remember all the complicated measurements you'll have to make before setting up the traps - you roll your scooter out onto the dirt road and set off into the quickly darkening night. Fresh wind smells a little bit like sun-warmed dust and grass as it hits your face on the moderate speed, crickets and night birds weaving their song of nature cooling off after sunset, sounds loud enough to fill your head through the revving of weak engine and air swishing in your ears.

Not wearing a helmet is one of the least reckless things you've been up to just last month, and you can't lie, you feel a little bit power-drunk and allmighty after what you've gone through. Certain fellas do nothing to put you back on earth, shamelessly encouraging your power trip.

After all, the more confident the queen, the stronger the clan.

It's as if the wind picked up your thoughts, filled with the same four someones as always, and carried it over into the breathing with full chest savannah - because you're not even halfway to your end point and there's already loud whooping, two familiar voices, cutting through the air closer and closer to the road. Luckily for all of you, they make sure to get even louder and run a few dozens meters through the tall grass framing the curb, before two large silouettes jump out on the road to escort you in leisurely pace.

There's something so satisfying in the realization that you actually managed to indentify them just by their voices - Gaz's melodic, always slightly purring whooping somehow still distinct even when there are Soap's excited, hasty whoops, almost tripping over themselves and getting grabled with the inexplainable accent he carries into his hyena form too. Their big forms traverse the road effortlessly, even Soap's bulky body taking on that predatory elegance to match Gaz in his dark, determined trotting - they make some loops around you and your scooter, tails raised in excitement, and and shut up only after you turn the engine off at your stop, propping the machine on its stand.

Soap nearly jumps you, balancing poorly on one hind leg and trying to paw at you with both front ones, screeching and whining with his widest smile and tongue lolling out. You chuckle and boop his wide nose, ready to bend down for some kisses, but Gaz, ever the polite one, nudges your hip with his dark muzzle and raises his leg too.

Right. They really wanted you to get in onto the whole greeting ritual - sitting you down for a gentle talk and reassuring it that it's not weird, if it's them. They're not animals, they're just... animal-shaped. Your arguement about palming crotches as a greeting being weird with humans to was kinda just thrown away. After all, they're your clan, they're yours, why would anything be weird between you?

So you oblige, crouching with a sigh and running some quick bellyrubs down their patiently waiting bodies, until you reach two proudly erect hyena members. It's just a ritual, it'll help them with watever scent-hierarchy-service thing they've got going on, you have to remind yourself, as you briefly skim over their genitals and pull your hands away, wiping them off on the boys' fur and slapping Soap's fluffy butt for trying to grind into your palm.

"You try that again and I'm never touching you again, Stinky, you hear me?" You even make a point out of returning the old nickname, and watch with satisfaction as Soap's fluffy ears lower miserably and he dips down to the ground, the embodiment of guilt.

Not for long, though - after he gets a kiss on the nose from you, Gaz jumps Soap and bites his scruff, starting a scuffle. Their commanding officers seem to be busy, so Sergeants have a lot of energy to spare - you know that better than anyone.

Yesterday bitemarks on your thighs still sting as you unload your backpack and pull all the equipment out. Leaning your butt against the scooter, you put on the little headlamp and start reading through your instructions, laughing and fighting off both Soap and Gaz that stopped playfighting just to rummage and sniff through your things.

"Shush! Mum's reading, it's important," you throw at them, earning two sets of outraged huffs - no need to understand hyena language to hear the "you're not our mum" hidden between grumpy sneezes. It works, though, both hyenas plop their asses next to you, Gaz leaning against your hip to get some chin scratches and Soap playing with the strap of your backpack, throwing it around, tugging and chewing on the buckle in the middle. "Okay, it shouldn't be long. Hey, can you help me?"

They both jump up immediately, Soap puffing his chest out and fluffing up his mane just to show how helpful he is, Gaz just standing patiently, only reaching his neck to try and sneak a peek into the paper you're holding.

"I'll be doing some measurements, and you guys please dig a little holes where I say, okay? Not deep, just... well, to fit that thing, see?" You nod at one of the camera traps and after they both inspect it with thorough sniffs and shy nibbles and grumble in understanding, you get that laser tape measure - much easier to use alone and in the night.

Finding one of the spots you need to measure from, you crouch, set the laser and look down at the number on the screen. Too close. With a grunt, you scoot a little further and press the button again. Aha, there!

"Okay, so can you now make a hole right where the laser dot is? Guys?" Confused by the lack of movement from your usually very eager to help and serve hyenas, you look up.

Only to see them both staring at the little dot of your tape measure with tails on high alert and legs in a wide stance, prime for pouncing.

For fuck's sake, you forgot they're basically overgrown spotted cats.

Series masterlist | Main masterlist

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