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oneblckcoffee · 5 years ago

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Only Us [2]

Pairing - Mob!Harrison x Mob!Fem!Reader

Word Count - 2,044

Warnings - drinking, swearing

A/N - i have no excuse as to why this is EIGHT MONTHS LATE. im sorry ok, but life got in the way. im not sure when the next chapter is gonna be up but @rupimiller kinda pressured (but mostly motivated) me to write this, so i guess peer pressure is the way to go? ALSO, the name is based on the song Only Us from Dear Evan Hansen, you can listen to it here. it’ll make sense eventually. anyway enjoy!

chapter 1

—

Harrison woke up that fateful afternoon, feeling numb. He was hungover, with a pounding headache, and the unexpected wake up call from Tom had left him slightly disoriented. This was his new normal, though. The drinking, the smoking and the occasional drugs; anything to ward off his actual feelings, to numb the pain. He was simply going through the motions; taking each day at a time, still struggling to come to terms with reality and the consequences brought about by his actions.

He sat up at the edge of his bed, resting his head in his hands, waiting for the dizziness to subside. With a sigh, he stood up and made his way to the en suite bathroom. Harrison stood in front of the vanity, taking in his reflection. His eyes were bloodshot, lids still heavy with sleep, and the bags under them could never fully describe how tired he truly felt. His hair was disheveled, sticking out every which way. His eyes fell on his torso, on the scar that ran down his chest, all the way to gunshot wound in the middle of his abdomen. The physical wounds had healed very well over time, the scar almost invisible to the untrained eye but the pain was still there, the memories all too fresh in his mind. Pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind, Harrison entered the shower.

—

This meeting had been in the books for a while now and Harrison had been dreading it ever since. When he first discovered that Tom had reached out to you, he was livid. He could not believe that Tom would undermine his authority and ask a stranger for help. Harrison did not want to admit that they needed the help, especially not from some random girl who’s father just happened to be well respected in the industry. However, he was painfully aware that things needed to change if they wanted to stay on top. Once he got over his initial anger, he did of course realise that this was the only way to climb out of the hole they currently found themselves in. So even though he didn’t agree with Tom’s methods he trusted his judgement and decision, partly because Tom had never failed him but mostly because he was grateful that Tom hadn’t dropped the ball on things, unlike him.

And for those reasons, Harrison got dressed and found himself sitting in the passenger seat of the Porsche as Tom drove them to their destination. As he sat in the car, Harrison noticed a silence that would not be there on any other day. Usually, Tom would put on some music for car journeys as long as the one ahead of them and would talk about some client that was being difficult, but today he was way too occupied in his thoughts to bother with any of that. The pair had been inseparable ever since they met in primary school; they were as thick as thieves and had been with each through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. They knew each other better than the back of their own hands and trusted each other to a fault. So of course Harrison noticed his tense demeanour instantly - his jaw was clenched and his hands were gripping the steering wheel a bit too tightly. His brows were knotted and even though his eyes were trained on the road ahead, they seemed distant and lost in thought.

“Alright, out with it,” said Harrison, who couldn’t take the silence any more. He’d much rather have Tom talk his ear off than watch him battle his thoughts, alone.

“What d’you mean?” asked Tom, not once taking his eyes off the road.

“Mate, I know you’re worried about this but I can’t have you this distracted when we’re there, so what’s on your mind?”

“This needs to work out. I need it to work out,” Tom sighed, “And yes, I’m incredibly aware that this could very well be an ambush. We’re not armed, have no backup and are meeting a very dangerous stranger in the middle of nowhere. Things could end badly, not that they were great to begin with. I don’t know why I agreed to all her terms and I regret not setting our own but we have no leverage, she’s doing us a huge courtesy by even agreeing to meet us ‘cause we all know that she doesn’t need this. Which just makes me question her intentions further, ‘cause like, she can just wait us out and watch from the sidelines as we fuck ourselves over and then there’s one less family in the mob world. But no, she agreed to hear us out and discuss a possible merger which doesn’t really do her any good, at least nothing that I could think of. And to add to that, we barely have anything on her! I’ve done my research, if I can even call it that, and all I could find is that she’s young and runs the business and has ruffled some feathers here and there. That’s it! There’s nothing else on her, not many people even know that she’s a part of her father’s business. She may as well not exist, that’s how little we actually know about her, and that’s never a good sign.”

Tom let out a deep breath and brought a hand up to his eyes to try and relieve some of his headache. He was rambling and he was stressed and tired and way in over his head. This was new territory for both of them and neither knew what was going to happen in that bar. They were desperate and this was probably their last chance to save face and not burn their business to the ground.

“I trust you, you know that right?” Harrison reassured, “You’ve never made a wrong decision. Hell, you’ve managed to keep my ass out of trouble for such a long time you deserve a goddamn award!”

Tom let out a small laugh, “Yeah, it’s not easy mate.”

Harrison clapped Tom’s shoulder, “I know and I’m sorry that we’re in this situation right now and I know it’s my fault even though you’re never gonna blame me for it. But we’re gonna fix this, alright? One way or another.”

“Yeah.”

Harrison didn’t really know if he was going to accept your offer, he didn’t even know the specifics of the deal that you had discussed with Tom. But he trusted him to make the right decision so he stayed silent while they sat in the rundown bar waiting for you to arrive.

—

Forty-five minutes.

They had been sitting there in that bar for forty-five minutes, drinking and waiting. Tom was still anxious and lost in his thoughts while Harrison was getting more annoyed with every passing second. He’d suggested leaving twenty minutes ago but stayed because he didn’t want to argue with Tom.

“This is ridiculous,” he muttered, getting up from the booth to make his way to the bar to get himself yet another whiskey. The bartender had been eyeing them ever since they walked through the doors, sometimes even eavesdropping in on their conversation from time to time. He handed Harrison his drink, without exchanging any words and watched as he walked back towards the booth before continuing with his work.

Harrison sat down beside Tom, sipping on his drink. He had almost finished his drink when a soft thud caught his attention. His head immediately moved in the direction of sound, eyes straining to see the figures at the door in the dimly lit bar. His eyes were trained on you, as you and a guy entered the bar, following your every move. His eyes travelled across your figure; you were wearing a light blue shirt with some trousers and a pair of heels and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t think you were attractive.

“Mate, she’s hot,” said Tom, his face flushed with relief at your arrival. Harrison gave him a pointed look. “What, you told me to relax?” Harrison rolled his eyes but a soft chuckle fell from his lips.

He watched as you took a seat at the bar, listening to your conversation with the bartender. He tried to get a read on you, as you intentionally made them wait longer, but couldn’t which was new for him. You finally finished your conversation with the bartender, grabbed your drink and joined them at their booth.

“Hello boys,” you said, as you sat across from the two of them, studying them. Tom was sitting up straight, his fingers interlaced in front of him on the table, eager whereas Harrison leant back in his seat, his left arm resting on the backrest of the booth, uninterested.

“Fucking finally.”

“Excuse me?”

“We’ve been waiting for an hour.”

“No, you’ve been waiting for fifty minutes. But I really do apologise for making you wait ten more minutes than I initially planned; you see, something important came up.”

A snort left Tom’s lips that he tried (and failed) to cover up with a cough and Harrison rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, I guess I should properly introduce myself, eh? I’m Y/N Y/L/N. Yes, Y/L/N. Meaning that Y/D/N Y/L/N is my father. And you must be the Osterfield family disappointment, yeah?”

You were trying to rile him up, push his buttons as far as you can, just to see what he would do. You noticed his jaw clenching, tightening the grip on his glass, his eyes never leaving yours as he brought the whiskey to his mouth.

“Thank you for agreeing to meet with us on such short notice, Ms. Y/L/N,” began Tom. “You may have heard that we are in need of some assistance, financially, and the prospect of a deal with you and your dad is very appealing to us. As discussed, we’ve agreed to share the profit and territory with your organisation. In exchange, we’re willing to provide you with any assistance or man power that you may need.”

While Tom was talking, your eyes never left Harrison’s; his icy stare meeting yours. You only looked away when Tom was done rambling.

“It’s Tom, yeah?” You asked rhetorically, finally looking at him, “you can cut the bullshit, Tom. Everyone in the fucking country knows you’re sinking and the sharks are beginning to circle and you’re need me to come in and save you.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

“That is the only way to put it. Let’s be honest, I’m your best, worst option. Everyone else wants you dead, and most of the time I agree with that sentiment. But you could be useful.”

“Oh how so?” asked Harrison mockingly, pushing himself off the backrest and leaning forward. He knew you were going to be cocky given the circumstances, but your know-it-all attitude was beginning to annoy him.

“I don’t know yet.”

“Bullshit.”

“Well, you’re just gonna have to wait to find out.”

“That’s not how it works, love.”

“That’s how it’s gonna work, love.”

You knew of Harrison’s reputation. Cutthroat, unyielding, short tempered. Nothing you hadn’t dealt with before. Yet he annoyed you, which wasn’t something you were expecting.

“So, Tom. How does 80-20 sound?”

“Fuck, no.”

“What, no way. That’s not what we discussed on the phone. We settled on 60-40.”

“Yeah I know, love. But you see, I run the south and you barely have a grip on the north. Your business is failing and honestly, I don’t trust you. So, 80-20.”

“We still have some power.”

“In your fucking dreams, Osterfield. The only reason why you’re not dead yet cause people are still scared of you.”

“And you’re not?”

“I don’t see anything to be intimidated by.”

“Would you go for 70-30, maybe?” tried Tom.

“No we’re not doing fucking 70-30!” said Harrison, “It’s 60-40. That’s it. Take it or leave it.”

“Well, it was nice meeting you, boys. Let’s go Michael.” you said, getting up from the booth. Tom had his head in his hands, Harrison was angry underneath the cold exterior but also worried. Didn’t Tom say that this was their best chance?

“Fuck you, mate.”

chapter 3

tags - @deleteidentity @rupimiller

#only us #harrison osterfield #haz osterfield #mob!au #mob!harrison #mob!haz #mob!reader #harrison x reader #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield x y/n #harrison osterfield x you #haz osterfield x reader #haz osterfield x y/n #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield fanfic #harrison osterfield fanfiction #haz osterfield fanfiction #haz osterfield fic

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armandyke · 5 years ago

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hallo here are the hc's i whipped up for the teacher au!! i'm sorry this turned into an essay i'm just a dumbass who loves soft teacher au a lot!!

“not sure what the others would teach in this teacher au tho-” *wakes up in the dead of night with cold sweat* *kicks down the door* I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS!!

oh boy…get ready….cause it’s A LOT

- Submitted by @katgreeves

luther: physics teacher, cause you know…spaceboy……everyone is scared at the beginning of the year when they get him as a teacher cause he’s TALL AND HUGE AS FUUUUUCK, but then fast forward two months later and everyone is chill because turns out he’s a really easygoing and soft teacher…just really socially awkward and lowkey dumb sometimes

asshole kids in his classes use his softness to his disadvantage and pull pranks on him constantly, poor guy….the other kids tho always tell them to shove it tho because he may be soft and dumb and socially awkward but he’S OUR SOFT AND DUMB AND SOCIALLY AWKWARD TEACHER DON’T TOUCH HIM!! the first time they protected him he had to remind himself not to tear up because HE FELT SO LOVED!!!!

he gets them snacks even if they’re not supposed in the science classrooms because “eXPeriMENts and CHEmIcALsSsSsssSS!!!” and will rant for hours about space and starts and THE MOOOOON cause when he was a kid he always wanted to be an astronaut ( :’))))))) ) and his kids get fed up one day and go “why don’t you just make an astrology club mr luther????” and he does and IT’S A REAL SUCCESS WITH THE SCHOOL BODY YAY!!!

(five when he grows up also becomes a physics teacher and pesters luther all the time like “I AM 10 TIMES THE TEACHER YOU EVER WERE-” “NO YOU AREN’T STFU” and he’s technically wrong and right because material wise??? yes he’s 100% the better teacher and he always has answers to the kids questions and teaches them extra content cause he’s always been a genius but as a physics teacher that kids really like????? no siree that title goes to luther because he was a soft teddy bear to his students and they trusted him while five is eccentric and strict the the point where his kids are scared the FUCK out of him)

diego: pe teacher, SWEARS SO MUCH IN FRONT OF THE KIDS IN CLASS OMG HOW IS HE NOT FIRED YET?? is tough on the kids sometimes so push harder but IS ALSO SOFT AND REALLY ENCOURAGING THE KIDS TO WORK AND TRY THEIR BEST BECAUSE HE BELIEVES IN THEM!!! (except for the group of cocky assholes he’ll get in every class and don’t want to listen to them…he has personally removed their rights in the class)

whenever the self-defense unit comes around he’s sooooo dedicated to it and makes sure that the kids master everything to a t, cause who knows when it might come in handy??? he wants to make sure that the kids know how to protect themselves as the world is a shitty place and you never know when shit will go bad (except he does…he’s had enough bullshit and scared happen to him and has gotten involved in so many fights that he wants to make sure that the kids won’t hurt like him :“’))))))))) )

he’s a secret softie that will protect the kind kids that are not as good at pe and get bullied by the cocky assholes in the class becAUSE THAT’S JUST WHAT HE WOULD DO NO IM NOT SELF PROJECTING OF WHAT I WANTED OUT OF MY PE TEACHERS SHUT U-

also eudora is a pe teacher and the two of them are very competitive to be the best pe teacher and this rivalry turns into playful flirting and big ass crushes that they’re way too stubborn to admit, the entire school still ships it anyways (the entire school also ships klaus and dave because gay rights!!!!!)

allison: either school counselor or principal i can’t decide because she can be super kind and open to talk and gives advice that helps a LOT but she’s also a hbic THAT CAN AND WILL run the place.

anyways, whatever job she has, she also helps with the drama club and school plays, and literally every year the theatre kids BEG HER to kick out the current drama teachers and replace them because allison>>>>>>>>>>>> all of the existing drama teachers there

ben: is either a literature or philosophy teacher. super smart and knowledgable but is also really laid back and fun to talk to. he’s got a dark and snarky sense of humor and his students always have sass battles with him. the number of INSANE inside jokes his students and him share is HUGE.

HE DEMANDS THAT HIS STUDENTS PARTAKE IN READING TIME IN THE BEGINNING OF CLASS NO MATTER WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO BECAUSE READING IN AN IMPORTANT SKILL AND HOBBY FOR DEVELOPMENT AS A READER, WRITER, LEARNER, AND OVERALL PERSON AND NO AMY DON’T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME I’M THE TEACHER HERE AND I SAID NO ELECTRONICS SO PUT THE GODDAMN PHONE AWAY BEFORE I COME OVER THERE AN-

anyways…he is really considerate to what students need and makes them as relaxed as possible because school is HELL. students LOOOOOVE HIM. HE’S THE ONE TEACHER BESIDES DAVE THAT LITERALLY EVERYONE LIKES. (highkey inspired by my philosophy and lit teachers because they’re also really smart but sassy and cool like ben and I JUST THINK THEY’RE NEAT)

vanya: strings orchestra teacher for obvious reasons. she was real shy at first when she first got hired but the the strings department at that time was soooo small and crappy that she went “oh HELL no,” rolled up her sleeves, and set to revitalize it just because she cares about music so much.

she recruited more students, got more advanced music so the kids could feel a challenge and be motivated to improve, and collaborated with the choir and band departments to provide more clubs, events and opportunities outside of class for kids to do music.

she is a no business type of teacher when it comes to arrogant people that put other players down or people who don’t practice and goof around and will snap at them SO HARD because everyone needs to be at their a game for a concert and in an orchestra no single person is bigger that the collective. she’s however SOOOO SOFT with really soft playing and shy kids because she understands how it feels when you think your playing isn’t good enough, so gives them extra help, gives them solo lines or solos to play so they gain more confidence in themselves, all while constantly giving encouraging words about how much they’ve improved that always makes them feel better and more motivated to improve.

she’s an absolute anxious and cranky maniac a week before the concert but she throws parties with food, drinks, and games afterwards to celebrate with her kids. she constantly gets them to play music related games and challenges that they do as a class for team bonding to make things more entertaining in class. she makes dumb music puns a lot too!

she also will in the class say crazy stories of her childhood and the crazy shit she and her siblings did and then somehow always relate it back to the lesson and make it some sage advice…the kids never understand how she does it

(me???? self projecting more of my teachers into this au cause they’re cool??? more likely than you think)

also one day she chops her hair real short and cute and the conversation with her students basically went like this:

students: miss vanya you cut your hair???

vanya: yes kids I’m a lesbian

students: !!!!!!!!!!!!

vanya: ;))))))))

students: MISS VANYA SAID GAY RIGHTS!!!!

vanya: HELL YE I DID!!!

bonus grace yayyyy!!!!!: is the school nurse…she’s so sweet, so soft….has precisely whatever people need when they feel sick/injured…helps them calm down in they’re freaking out…always has a couple of beds in the nurse’s office so people can lie if they feel dizzy…gives out candy/sweets/food to people so they feel better!!

diego meets her a lot because a lot of kids in his class gets injuries and he takes them to the nurse and he jUST LOVES HER SM!!! INSTANT MOM FIGURE!! THEY TALK AND JOKE AND LAUGH TOGETHER AND GRACE WILL ALWAYS GIVE HIM A PASTRY SHE MADE WHENEVER HE COMES BY AND HE JUST IS SO SOFT AROUND HER ITS GREAT (his students find his sudden change in his demeanour amusing “hey mr diego is nurse grace your MMMmoooOoOooOOOmMMMMMMmmmmmM??” “kid your a good one but say that shit to me one more time and I will beat the sh-”)

she always has a smile on her and everyone LOVES HER…..except for the administration that always want to get her fired because they are assholes and they think she’s too weird to stay. however, every time they try to fire her, a certain teacher comes by the office for what they claim is a civil discussion...and after an hour of yelling, death threats, and the door getting 10 knife marks they go “you know what grace…you can stay"

those assholes are persistant though, and one time though not even a certain teacher could get them away from firing her so once the news breaks out that nurse grace is leaving the whole school is FURIOUS and throws a 1 week riot and the administration get so scared and tired that they just go "OK WERE SORRY JUST KIDDIN- OK OK SHE’S STAYING FOR GOOD JESUS”

grace is so grateful that she makes a whole bunch of cake for everyone and everyone with tears in their eyes just goes “this…is why we love you sm nurse mom”

~~okkkieee that’s the end of it sorry it’s a literal essay I just got very passionate about this au lmao rip!!! I’m slowly tempted to write a fic about it even though i’ve never written a fic before in my LIFE and I already have like 3 other au fic ideas in my head already smh

#NURSE MOM #tua #katgreeves #submission #teacher au

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stoiicist · 5 years ago

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reyna sexuality headcanon. let’s go. (ps this got looong so undercut for your dashboard’s sake)

let’s start with young reyna. she doesn’t really have time to think about love or crushes. she hears about them in passing, on tv and in pop songs and from giggling girls at school. reyna doesn’t quite get why the other girls squeal and laugh when one of the boys come over and tries to hold one of their hands, but she laughs along with them because that’s what she’s supposed to do. she doesn’t get why as they grow older, her friends start to care more about what boys think of them than what their next math test is over, isn’t familiar with the feelings of butterflies the other girls supposedly get when one particular boy in the grade above them walks past. reyna does know, however, that she likes looking at the poster of selena that hylla keeps on her wall a little too much, but she tries not to think about that.

her life is kind of a huge shitty mess, ya know with the abusive father and demigod bullshit on her plate since she was like four years old, so if you were to ask her what she thought about love or if she had any crushes, she would just tell you that she’s too focused on school to think about those sort of things. even on circe’s island, when the other hairdressers spend hours talking about love and crushes long after the lights had gone out and reyna gets a better understanding of what love is supposed to feel like, it still doesn’t make sense to her the same way it does to the other girls. reyna tries to look at the boys and men who come to their little island the same way they do, but it feels forced and uncomfortable and unnatural. not at all like the other girls describe.

it’s not until a blonde girl around her age arrives on circe’s island that reyna understands what the other girls meant when they talked about their crushes, that flash flood of nervous excitement they mention every time something tall, dark, and handsome washes upon their shore. she is quiet and fierce-eyed and not at all like the other girls they tend to. this girl isn’t disoriented and cheery like them. she watches them with those grey eyes, both intimidating and distracting, and reyna finds her fingers fumbling as she tries to untangle her hair.

the feeling in her chest is uncomfortable, as she watches the girl in quiet admiration. but the other girls never talked about girls like they talk about boys, so something tells reyna she shouldn’t share this little discovery with the other hairdressers. but she ends up not having to worry about that, because that girl helps that boy destroy her home and reyna never sees any of the other hairdressers ever again.

reyna knows she shouldn’t, knows hylla would scold her if she ever knew, but she sometimes catches herself thinking about that blonde, quick-witted girl anyways.

shit happens. she has to fight for her life again, so all that angst gets put on the back burner. she’s too busy grieving her home, her separation from hylla, proving her strength to lupa to even think about the blonde girl, much less try to sort out what it means for her. she arrives at camp jupiter and reyna is hoping to finally have some structure in her life. a place to figure herself out and figure out what she wants in her life.

and then she meets jason. they butt heads at first, but they eventually grow to be close friends. they share similar views on their hopes for the future of CJ, a shared loyalty to new rome and their fellow demigods, and both often find themselves in position of leadership together. when they’re eventually made praetors, reyna isn’t the least bit surprised. but that only means more hours spent together, more sharing in struggles and job stress; their bond deepens significantly.

when reyna thinks about it, he’s everything she should want in a guy. he’s strong and brave and kind and he makes her feel less alone than she really is. but he doesn’t give her butterflies or the same captivated feeling that blonde girl on circe’s island did. but reyna tries to think of him as something more than her best friend. after all, it’s what’s expected of them. they’re co-praetors. that sort of thing happens all the time ( at least, that’s what people said ). in fact, she heard about it so much that reyna just started expecting it to happen one day. that one day, she would look at jason and feel that something and he would look at her and he’d feel it too and they would maybe kiss and that would be the beginning of the end.

and then he disappears, in the midst of reyna trying to figure out her feelings for him. and that sure throws a wrench in things, doesn’t it, because it’s even harder to figure out her feelings for him when she’s missing him and she’s overworked and she’s worried about whether he’s even alive. it’s easier to confuse those feelings for romantic love, it’s much, much easier love the idea of jason, the idea of jason as her boyfriend, when the reality is nowhere near her.

and then comes along percy. reyna is tired to the bone, more alone than she’s ever been. she’s been running the camp for months, a job meant for two, surrounded by merciless senators and legionnaires prepared to devour her if she falters even a bit. it’d make anyone desperate for a partner. she offers the position of praetorship to percy, but because of what they talked about before with her and jason, it sounds like she’s offering more. she isn’t, really. she only keeps the option open to percy, because of what people expect from praetors, expect from her. he declines and reyna’s relieved, until the realization that she will continue to shoulder the responsibilities alone hits.

when jason returns, the way he looks at her doesn’t ever change and part of her is grateful for that, because try as she might, she can only ever look at jason, think about being in love with him, and feel like something is forced. like trying to put a puzzle piece in the wrong spot. she knew he needed to be in her picture, that just wasn’t the right place for him.

she meets jason’s friends, obviously has a lot of conflicted feelings over that because there’s that blonde girl again ( her name is annabeth ) and how can reyna be sure this isn’t just the effect of charmspeak ( or maybe piper’s always this alluring ), but then they fire on her camp and they’re enemies on the battlefield so that puts figuring everything out on hold again. sometimes the thoughts creep into her head at night when she’s alone and she’s tired and she wants to think of anything but the war they’re fighting. it usually doesn’t make her feel any better.

a part of her has always known, not in explicit terms, but just knowing that something was different about her. the sneaking suspicion that all the romantic indifference she’s ever felt towards men had to mean something, she just wasn’t sure what. for a while, she thought she just wasn’t interested in romance at all. that she was one of those people that would be alone forever with a couple dogs, or maybe live with her best ( female ) friend and be happy about it.

and then she talks with nico, because there isn’t really any hiding anything when reyna can feel all his emotions wash over her like a tidal wave, and he talks about cupid and his recovering from that and coming to terms with it, and reyna’s like why the hell does that sound a lot like me...

and then there’s no denying it, or talking around it, or trying to explain away the feelings she’s had since she was young. she’s a lesbian! she’s gay! and it feels good to finally have a word for it and daunting to wake up the next day knowing exactly who she is and what she wants and comforting to know she has a group of friends who will do nothing but celebrate this with her. :^)

i could probably write a shit ton more but this is so goddamn long and i need this out of my drafts anjfdnfkf so yeah here’s like the mainverse closest-to-canon lesbian reyna hc i got for ya. if you read this im sorry about your eyes

#ive had this in my goddamn drafts for MONTHS literal months #this is such a garbled mess but i wanted it out of my drafts holy shit..............#idk what to say about this other than its long and my lesbianism literally cannot be stopped #& we are the stories we tell ourselves ( headcanon. )#i SUPPOSE

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somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds · 6 years ago

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So. *cracks knuckes* I hear you have an au idea for Gary Green. Could you maybe talk about it a bit more? *crosses fingers* (im terrible im sorry)

*crackles knuckles* settle down around the fire, I’ll spin a half-formed tale that is slowly growing into a real fic. Inspiration comes from my lovely Discord server and @agentmarymargaretskitz who encourages all my cracky AUs.

So John, Ava, and Gary are out on a mission for the Legends. This is after the whole ‘good and evil’ talk (sidenote: forever bitter that that was not an ONSCREEN conversation but i digress) so the tension between the two is a real ‘will they/won’t they’ mixed with the sexual tension as always. Ava doesn’t want to be here, but somebody needs to be a responsible adult.

Eventually, after *insert bullshit magic yadadada* Gary turns a corner and BAM.

“Gary, what happened?” Ava yells after hearing him yelp.“I - think I ran into a wall,” Gary calls back, rubbing his forehead, touching over his temples because damn, that’s what the pain feels like but - there’s no wall. There’s nothing. It just feels like a migraine.

He goes home that night and the headache has spread to a neck and back ache, as well. Oh well, probably pulled a muscle, it’ll be fine.

For some reason, he eats five eggs (scrambled a little raw) for breakfast and the ache is dull, humming under his skin. His mouth actually waters as Mona passes by his work desk with food for the creatures, he’s - starving.

Nate doesn’t question his eating of an entire can of chicken liver pate, plain, at his desk.

The headache’s back, and it’s worse.

It’s soothed slightly by a rare steak he makes at home, but now it feels like he’s buzzing with energy as he lays drained on the couch.

“I - think I have an iron deficiency,” he murmurs to nobody, as per usual.

There’s a purr from the back of his brain: No.

It’s all he remembers before falling asleep.

For the next three days, he’s basically been eating nothing but protein yet he’s never felt more tired in his life. Nobody says a thing to him.“Sorry Green, got the last 8 O’Clock,” McNeil laughs at him, the treacherous Keriug already filling up his cup. Gary rolls his eyes, but he finds he can’t roll them back forward again as words escape his mouth“You touch my coffee again, I’ll rip your lungs out and feed them to you.”

His eyes suddenly roll forward again and he blinks a few times before giving a high, awkward laugh. at McNeil’s startled expression.

“You - you know me, not the same without morning coffee!” He takes whatever’s in the communal pot and sits back down at his desk, shaking his head and blinking a few more times. He gets through until lunch until he - suddenly blacks out.

He wakes up again in the afternoon, in the empty bathroom on the -3rd floor that nobody ever uses, covered in blood. That’s enough to make him panic, never mind the three empty pint containers of blood, a fourth in his hand and all over his mouth.

He stumbles out of the stall and washes his face in the sink, and when he looks up his reflection is smirking with coal-black eyes. He rubs his eyes and turns away, that purring voice pressing behind his temple.

Hello.

“Uh, hi. What - who are you?” he asks, because damn his ingrained politeness.A friend.“I - I don't believe that.”Gary. All I want to do is help you.“...could you - not, do that,” Gary muttered, cleaning the messy stall.It’s taken longer to gain any control over you than normal humans.“...sorry?”Pure souls are hard to break.“I’m - not - a virgin, if that’s what you mean.”Oh, I know. You think about it a lot.“Don’t - don’t read my thoughts!”Too late. You’re tired, let me - drive. Close your eyes, let me-“No! Shut up!” Gary says too loudly out loud as he walks into the break room. He grabs a danish and scurries back out of there to avoid confrontation.

And instead of that, he walks right into John Constantine, looking ruggedly handsome (like always dammit Gary shut up) while he’s got crumbs all over his lips and dark circles under his eyes.“Hey, Squire,” John smirks with a cigarette between his lips even if the building’s nonsmoking. Gary opens his mouth to respond back when that awful migraine, like claws sinking into his frontal lobe, returns and he winces.“Sorry, migraines,” he explains in a rush, heading back to his desk without another look his way.

It’s too much to deal with, he opens the door to Ava’s office, knowing he looks like a wreak and she’s - so annoyed to see him, it’s so obvious, and he tries to explain, Ava, Boss-Lady, I’m - I’m sick, I’m sick, something’s wrong - “something’s wr-”“Gary, just go home,” Ava says curtly, going back to her meeting with the Legends. He lets the door close and heads on the walk home alone, only his feet carry him somewhere else.

When he’s finally back in his apartment, eating through two packages of raw lamb, the voice comes back.They’re mean to you.“I - they’re my friends, I was - I was being annoying.”Friends shouldn’t do that.“You - what do you know about friends? Where - where are you from?”Hell.“Okay. Okay, that’s normal. Why - why are you inside of me? Oh, no, that came out wrong.”Reasons you can’t know, not yet.“...cool. Look - look, don’t bother possessing me. Look at me, I’m worthless. I trip over my own carpet four times a week sober.”I...can help.“I don’t want to hurt anyone.”People deserve it.“I don’t need to hurt them, though.”Humans are dumb, Gary. All of them. You, not so much.

It’s weird, to have this conversation with essentially your own brain as you speak out loud and then have words and voice that aren’t yours come out of your mouth.

Give me a chance to take control. I’ll give you what you want, then you can let me what what I want, the demon says. (Gary’s calling him Joe, because his vocal chords cannot replicate the name that swirled in his brain)

“...you get one day to convince me,” Gary states firmly, and no sooner do those words leave his lips then his vision goes black.

When he wakes up, it’s to everything he’s ever wanted in the world. The A/C’s never on the fritz, the neighbors are quiet, the shower always has hot water, the apartment’s bigger, and there’s - a blonde warlock in his bed that kisses him before Gary has to leave for work.

He has his OWN office at work, his own Keriug, he’s employee of the month and number one agent, all the bells and whistles and everyone is actually glad to see him and greet him, even Ava, even all the Legends. Everything is so goddamn perfect, especially a visit from said blonde warlock in the afternoon, in his lap in his own office, smiling that rare real smile.

And then John Constantine says to him, Gary Green: “I love you.”

Gary sits straight up from where’s he’s been out cold on his couch, gasping for air and he doesn’t know why, he just knows his heart is racing because -

What’s wrong? It’s what you want.“It’s not,” Gary whispers, lying but not lying, picking up his phone. “I don’t want lies. I don’t want to be lied to.”

It’s 6 o’clock. He’s been MIA an entire day and a half. There’s a single message, from Ava, at two in the afternoon: Gary, why aren’t you at work? You need to call if you can’t come in, remember.

That’s it. Nothing about his well-being, his whereabouts, about him.

Gary throws his phone into the opposite armchair and cries into a stupid throw pillow he got as a stupid giveaway at an office supply store. Not even a housewarming pillow.

There’s a hesitant warmth, just under the degree of burning, under the skin of his aching shoulder, spreading down his back.I want to help.

“How?”Whatever you need.

The knock at the door and the British accented “Gary, love, you awake?” sends Gary scrambling to shove bloody wrappers under the couch, quickly rinsing his face off before answering the door even as the voice hisses Noooot Constantine. “Hush,” Gary whispers harshly before throwing the door open.

John takes in Gary’s red-tinged eyes, dark circles beneath those, the general paleness and exhaustion. “Weren’t around today.”

“Sick,” Gary offers quickly. “Think - I have a bug. I’m fine, don’t - your’e not worried, duh, just - thanks, thank you for - checking in.”

There’s something - wrong, John can’t put a finger on it, but just nods in agreement. There’s too long a pause before the goodbyes, enough time for an embrace or a kiss, but neither offers either option. The door just closes between them afterwards.

I said humans were dumb, Gary.“Not - not all humans.”You aren’t. John Constantine, of all the humans, is the dumbest.“Hey, no, don’t say that stuff.”Yes, because you want to fuck-“Do - NO, that’s not why-”I can read your thoughts. Humans usually don’t break out of those fantasies like what I put you in. Why did you?“...it’s not real.”The warmth wraps around his arm, if that were possible. This is.Gary actually smiled. “...yeah, it is.”

Apparently, it’s easy to get used to possession, so long as your demon stays well-fed. Bloodlust can be avoided as long as there is actual blood to consume. Gary knows this butchery too well by the end of the first two weeks.

We should kill him, the demon tells Gary when McNeil steals the last K-cup again.“No, I said we wouldn’t do that....unless we had a reason.” Truth be told, he’s probably on borrowed time before he finally kills, he knows that. So far, the blood’s working to keep him satisfied.You hate him. That’s a reason. Or the man downstairs for being loud. We can rip his lungs out.“Not gonna happen.”

Ava’s in a very important business meeting with Mr. Heywood, and Gary’s leading the Legends to the waiting room outside her office to wait it out.

“So what’s this about?” Sara asks him.“Boss lady won’t let me say, you know that.”“Mick.”Oh god, Gary thinks before his vision tints into black tones.Before Mick can grab Gary, all he sees are Gary’s eyes visibly turning solid black for a brief moment before he has one hand in Mick’s collar and holding him up against the wall and snarling, “I said to WAIT.”

Then he shifts back and looks terrified for a second, dropping Mick down and offering sheepishly with a laugh, “I - sorry, no coffee. Did I mention I’ve been working out? Gotta run!”

He’s out of there, “What was that?”He was bothering you.“How did I do that?”I did it.

Then Gary’s flicking his hand to the right and McNeil’s chair spins out of control and he falls out of it onto the linoleum, precious coffee spilling everywhere.

Gary smiles despite himself. “We can’t do this a lot.”But we can do it?“...we can do it sometimes.”

For more, stay tuned for the upcoming fic!!!! Whew, I hope you like this NOVELLA that I answered you with!

#gary green #legends of tomorrow #constangreen #this is going to be a long fic #conxjob

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boilingheart · 6 years ago

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every single day i have to hear so much yelling and bullshit and right now my head hurts so much having to wake up and hear the same string and patterns and words she yells every morning "stupid ass piece of shit loser f*gg*t" at the top of her lungs every single say to the point that i hear it in my DREAMS. this literal string of words on repeat all the time these exact words

i cant sleep. I cant rest. my jaw and teeth are always hurting from grinding them. I cant draw, i cant write, i cant think, i cant focus on ANYTHING and i can't get a goddamn job to get out of here bc 1) I CAN'T REST AND FOCUS ON ANYTHING 2) no one will HIRE me 3) i live in the middle of nowhere and have no credentials, no money to travel and nothing will accept me. parents just getting frustrated that i cant get hired as if im not frustrated enough

I keep trying to just bear it for the most part, just trucking through it and trying not to say shit and just play some games and try not to vent on the goddamn public internet but im falling apart on my fucking self and my entire head hurts. i am drained and i never have a chance to rest and regain my energy, ive been drained ever since we got fucking evicted and robbed, things havent gotten better since it's just getting WORSE AND WORSE. my entire front yard is filled entirely with weeds and doors have been torn down and there are holes all over the walls and i cant leave the house to go out anywhere to escape this without having to pay $20 on an uber to leave somewhere comfortable. im so tired im so goddamn tired i cant rest and i cant even play my game comfortably bc my "friends" fucking backstabbed me and i still have to deal with the wounds from that drama from a fucjing terf stalking my blog and my ex ship partner slandering my fucking name in her guild run by a fucking terf who tried to fuck over my sibling's paypal when im just trying to fucking have a HAPPY HOBBY in this BULLSHIT I HAVE TO LIVE THROUGH

my whole body hurts and i feel like my health has been declining in this bullshit. im tired and im spending my morni ng sobbing because there's nothing else i can do. im trying so hard to just start my career and be an artist and just go to school but i fucking hate this life and i feel like im just going to ROT here. not even just die here i feel like ill just deteriorate until im a husk of a person staring blankly at the wall waiting for the day to be over. Im so tired im so angry im so fucking sad and its only a matter of time until i break and go beserk and break shit the way they've been breaking shit. i shouldnt be saying so much of this online but im suffering and idk where to go, i have no place to go, i just feel like someone needs to know

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kayvsworld · 7 years ago

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Could u convince be not to hate Steve 'Hypocrite' Rogers? I'm really trying not to hate him but whnever I think about anything to do with him I just get even angrier at him. MCU Steve is a repentless fuck up and I wanna know what u have to say about him? U don't seem like u hate him and u also love Tony so I figure u probably see stuff I'm not seeing and I wanna know what ;u; (mostly so I can stomach stony fics to widen my range of reading material) :p

steve rogers is a stubborn emotionally-constipated asshole. i also love him very very much. here are some post-cacw thoughts on why i still love him:

flawed characters are good, and the only reason we expect Perfection from This Particular Human Character is bc other people (and…the narrative….) put him on a pedestal. I can’t be mad at him for doing what he thought was the right thing, because as a fan of tony stark, i know that sometimes things that seem like a good idea at the time are maybe actually not always that great

issue: banking on the fact that your rich genius teammate and his team of lawyers will still get you and your friend out of a bad situation After you let him know that the friend in question murdered his parents a week before christmas and that you’ve lived in his house and looked him in the eye while Knowing Abt This for several goddamn years is uh. a v scary situation and potentially a bad plan for 19 reasons. prioritize the people you know are ride or die & cut ur losses

some people are emotionally constipated assholes who do their best and fail miserably,,,,To Cope™

ok but seriously have you ever had 6.3 billion Terrible Things happen to you in rapid succession, and then One More Thing comes along (to take away the only remaining thing in your life you can control and the only semblance of normalcy you have left) and you just. dig your heels in automatically and go “absolutely fucking not”

like i will personally bet you 5 canadian dollars that steve has been crossing his arms and glaring at the tv for months like “listen what else do they want us to do. we’re helping. we’re the good guys. they Have To See That we’re good people and we’re doing our best and we saved the world Come On if we just wait…maybe…….it will…..Be Fine without us having to do anything? maybe?”

he’s been fighting to keep People™ safe for a While and it’s Apparently still not enough and he is probably tired and bitter and frustrated. also, last time he was working for/with a third party they turned out to be nazis and while i get that that 100% isn’t the same as a UN Panel (noT THE SAME, STEVEN) at some point you have to take a quote out of context, plant urself like a stubborn asshole tree, and say “actually no fuck you please just let me do the only thing that is giving my life meaning right now in a way that doesn’t make me feel trapped and afraid for myself and my team”

peggy (steve’s last connection to his life before waking up in the future) had just died, and bucky (steve’s surprise Actual last connection to his life before waking up in the future) has been having a Hell Time and is being targeted. sometimes when you find out your best friend has been brainwashed and tortured for 70 years, your bullshit meter maxes out and you (steve rogers, “fight me” personified) want to give the finger to anyone who wants to do absolutely else to that person. yes, getting him help was an option (the other option being some kind of prison?) but also, it still would have been someone else making that choice for bucky, and at some point yelling “can you please just leave him alone” with ur fists becomes a default reaction

as someone who regularly avoids things when i should really deal with them, i 100% believe that there is a large part of steve that genuinely thought he was protecting tony. sure, he was protecting himself and bucky, too, and he admits that openly, but i can buy that steve had been sitting on the couch for months listening to tony talk about Processing His Grief Through Technology and screaming internally like “would it truly and genuinely make it easier on this guy to know that his parents were brutally murdered by my friend and i’ve known abt it for 2 years when he’s still this messed up over it already oh my god”

the problems i have with a lot of steve’s choices really just come down to the film not giving him room to put up a legit argument. a lot of it was banking on me assuming that captain america & the team were correct bc they’re cap & the team in a captain america movie? if they had given steve a speech instead of a shitty letter, i’m sure i would have initially understood his side a lot better

some people are emotionally constipated assholes who do their best and fail miserably,,,,To Cope™ Part 2: The Letter

steve is not great at feelings. steve is not great at processing and expressing his feelings in a healthy way. steve is an all-or-nothing prickly bitch (see: every film he’s been in) and taking these excellent canon facts into account, i do actually genuinely believe that this dude forced himself to sit down while in hiding to write 12 different drafts of this letter by hand in cursive and eventually ended up with the monstrosity tony received

he can’t apologize for the accords situation, because he doesn’t think he’s wrong, so he can only apologize for hurting tony. “i’m not sorry for what i did but i’m sorry that it hurt you” is a shitty thing to read and say but i guess at least,,,he,,,was honest? steven why didn’t you get a friend to proofread this letter

by saying that the avengers are more tony’s family than his, he probably thinks he’s acknowledging that tony cares about them and was doing what he thought was best. im personally for my own sanity choosing to believe that.

“i’ve never really fit in” aka “okay i definitely didn’t talk enough about where i was coming from at all for the past few…..years….and this was the only draft that included my ‘i’ve been lowkey struggling’ admission and didn’t sound vaguely pathetic or directly mention my friend who involuntarily murdered your parents”

this entire thing is actually imo a fairly decent “listen i know things are really messy right now and i hurt you and we’re both still upset, but here’s some effort on my part. if you ever need anything, here’s how you can contact me & i promise i will still drop everything to come help you with what you need” gesture considering the situation & time frame

anyway, steve for sure messed up with his approach to this and put a lot of people in danger, but as someone who is a fan of tony stark i have to take The Context into consideration and also understand that sometimes people do questionable things even while having the best intentions. it was a really rough situation and i think mr evans did a great job of showing steve emotionally shutting down and struggling for the past few films? i can see where he was coming from from an emotional standpoint, & bc of these and 130 other reach-y reasons including me just enjoying him as a person, i forgive him. it’s 2:30am this is so long oh my god

#kayvswords #L O N G P O S T #long post #holy shit i'm sorry i just have a lot of feelings abt steve???#seibir

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lala-baby · 5 years ago

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just to keep track of this

verbal

insulting things she knew I liked or was insecure about as a “joke”, especially my body

constantly insulting my intelligence and saying that she’s never met anyone as stupid as me, including saying that nobody else did things I did (e.g choking on spit occasionally)

speaking to me in a demeaning way (“go be a good little bitch and do X” “you can give me £xx for that since you’re using it” “know your place, bitch”)

Angrily criticizing me for things that weren’t my fault (and in a lot of cases were actually her fault)

telling me she doesn’t want control of me despite her actions completely contradicting that

calling me a nympho if i showed any kind of sexual interest, and occasionally telling other people that i was to try to embarrass me (like veda/stacey)

yelling at me for petty things like if I got water on the worktop after washing up

calling me a man or saying I was manly to me/others, or referring to me as a troll or a hog

saying i was too sensitive if i said i didnt like her shouting at me/calling me names etc and she was just being “brutally honest” because i wouldnt listen to her otherwise

calling me a narcissist

calling me arrogant if i didnt listen/disagreed with her

saying i had selective hearing when i genuinely didnt hear her say something (she may not even have said it and just been fucking with me)

bringing up ancient grievances at every opportunity (e.g when i gently tried to suggest that she might be a hypochondriac because its not normal to constantly want to go to the hospital)

making threats about hitting me if i did something she didnt like

shouting at me for crying if she’d upset me

deliberately saying nonsensical shit to win arguments since it cant be argued with (word salad)

having to win at absolutely everything and generally being adversarial

telling me that i can do things/that she wont stop me but then getting jealous and angry making it too difficult to continue

calling me arrogant and saying i was deliberately ignoring her if i didnt hear her because i was concentrating on something on my phone, usually followed by threatening to smash it

Telling me I was a cunt

Being deliberately transphobic to try and upset me

Saying my haircut made me look like I had downes syndrome

physical

hitting me for fun and then telling me it didn’t hurt and I was a pussy, even if bruises formed afterwards and were pointed out to her (she just continued to deny doing it or laughed at me)

holding me down and forcing medication into my mouth, giving me a panic attack so severe she thought i was having an anaphalactic reaction and called 999

Forcing me to drink herbal cough medicine that tasted vile because she said it was the only one that worked for me, even when I didn't really have a cough

using her security training to restrain me for no good reason other than to demonstrate her strength, while telling me I was weak

not allowing me to, or making it too difficult for me to make my own food choices leading to me putting on a huge amount of weight

controlling my medication/using it as an excuse to gaslight me (“these meds are making you act like a cunt, im taking you to get them changed” if I said no or disagreed with her, dictating when i took them/what dose i took, telling me certain medications wouldnt work for me because they didnt work for her and that the prescriber didnt know what they were talking about)

picking her stank-ass belly button and holding me down and forcing her fingers up my nose (what the fuck)

biting me hard enough to leave marks

controlling when i was allowed to sleep and getting angry and calling me lazy if i was tired, but also often waking me up throughout the night insisting that i was snoring and had to turn over /go sleep on the couch

forcing me to sleep under a duvet even though i sleep badly with them and making a big fuss if i refused

“jokingly” burning me with a lighter (though not inflicting actual burns)

Sitting on me to the point of restricting my airways

Pulling my hair

sexual

holding me down and sucking/biting my neck painfully hard even when I was yelling at her to get off of me and had warned her beforehand not to do that because i hated it and it hurt me (and insisting that it wasn’t hurting me, then mocking me/being angry afterwards)

deliberately giving me love bites against my will in places i couldn’t hide them, especially if i was due to see my family to try to embarrass me

telling me that it was my own fault for not being relaxed enough if I wanted to stop penetration because it was hurting and continuing despite my discomfort; getting angry/frustrated if I continued to say no/still didnt enjoy it to the point where i had to wait until I couldn't take it any more to get her to stop

saying that the reason I couldn’t orgasm from sex with her was because I masturbated too much and “banning” me from it for months at a time, then accusing me of not following orders and lying to her if i still couldnt orgasm

putting me on a “sex ban” if I didn’t do what she wanted in day to day life

saying inappropriate things to others, including my parents, alluding to our sex life

having inappropriate conversations about my body with the elderly man we were caring for in front of me, despite knowing that he had sexually assaulted me in the past

angrily insisting that she knew what she was doing and I didn’t have to tell her if I tried to communicate about how things felt

insisting that she had brought me to orgasm when she hadn’t, and that she knew because she could “taste the difference” and I must just not have felt it because my body didn’t work right, to the point that I believed her and thought there was just something wrong with me

insisting that “all /none of the other girls I’ve been with were like that” to try and guilt me about things I had no control over (genital appearance etc)

financial

making me spend the weekends (friday to monday) with her but complaining that I used all her electric/water/etc. when challenged about how much it was actually costing she said i didn’t know anything about how much things cost because “mummy and daddy had always paid everything for me”, and wouldn’t stop being nasty/aggressive until I gave in

making me buy her food shopping with my savings /using my savings as a free resource to be dipped in to at any time when she had spent her own money

making me buy her things or contribute towards buying things for her flat (hundreds regularly) through guilt /empty promises of repayment/getting me stuff when i moved out

telling me that I only give a shit about money and that I’m obsessed with it if I tried to say no to any financial demands

pressuring me to pay for holidays for us on the understanding that she would provide the spending money, but using her benefits payment instead of saving up for it so I ended up having to give her more money after the holiday so she could still eat/pay bills

not bothering to pay her bills/debts, knowing that it would worry me and that i would end up paying them off for her

buying me presents I didn’t want or need as a way to control me (either through guilt or just buying me things like tracksuits that she knew i didnt want to wear but would feel obligated to because she wanted to control how i dressed), but then getting the money off of me for them to pay for her bills etc as she had run out

becoming angry if I tried to donate anything she had bought for me, including things like children’s toys that she insisted I needed for my “autism”

pressuring me to buy ostentatious gifts (e.g nintendo switch, televisions) for her niece and nephew, usually in the range of hundred of pounds, and then taking credit for it as if she had spent her own money (her justification for this was that she had already spent all of her own money on presents /food /etc for me)

refusing to save/claiming she couldnt save and was “happy as long as she had a fiver in her pocket” because money didnt matter to her, to the point that she had no savings and my family and i had to help her buy furniture etc for her flat

psychological/emotional

being nasty about aspects of my appearance until I gave in and changed it (e.g piercings, hair)

pretending that she had no control over her temper, to the point that she claimed to have “blackouts” of rage where she would come round having seriously injured someone but have no memory of it

telling me it was creepy that I kept my pets ashes and threatening to get rid of them/saying i wasnt bringing them with me when i moved in with her

accusing me off loving my pets more than I loved her, despite causing me to be unable to bond with them properly due to the constant stress I was under

telling other people embarrassing /personal things about me that she found funny, usually in front of me, to try and embarrass me

smugly telling me “I know you better than you know yourself” at every opportunity and generally eroding my sense of self

belittling my likes /interests and replacing them with what she wanted me to like /be interested in - everything from clothes to food to shower gel to music to who I was friends with

trying to convince me to use sperm donated from a fucking facebook page like some kind of insane person

planning to use me to have a child and then send me off to work so she could stay at home on her arse for the rest of her life but framing it as “you can go have a career and ill take care of the baby :)”

accusing me of cheating on her constantly with anyone she perceived as a threat to my obedience (e.g regan, sophie), despite her being the one constantly texting her exes (which i never had a problem with because i trusted her for some goddamn reason)

not allowing me to make friends with anyone she didn’t like and lying to me about them/their motivations to turn me off of them (she claimed to be a good judge of character) - again, regan and sophie

lying constantly in general but making it so that disagreeing with her or calling bullshit would make my life hell and it would get brought up weeks or months down the line

constantly telling me my breath stank (nobody else has ever said that and my dentist literally said my teeth are perfect last time i went), claiming it was because i only drank water and that wouldnt hydrate me (????) and constantly forcing me to drink tea or lucozade (neither of which i would drink given the choice) in large quantities

constantly talking about her work history and forensic history with a sense of pride(assault with intent, gbh, abh, criminal damage, etc etc) and about how badly she’d hurt people in the past, I think to leave me in no doubt as to her capabilities

warping my perception of reality by aggressively denying that things had/hadn’t happened, to the point that I didn’t know what was real and became dependent on her to tell me

using love as a means of control (“you’re meant to love me, I’m your girlfriend” if I tried to assert boundaries/did anything she perceived as insubordinate etc)

bagging up any belongings (except the stuff she wanted to keep for herself) I had at her flat and saying we were over and to come get my shit if I wasn’t obeying her enough

getting suspicious/irritated if I tried to take a bath or use the toilet with the door closed

constantly accusing me of hiding things from her

forcing me to strip naked to allow her to check my body for evidence of self harm

making me use her dirty bath water if I needed one, to “save water” (despite already taking money from me for the water bill)

trying to make me suspicious of the mental health professionals in charge of my care and make them seem untrustworthy or that their opinion was worthless (e.g saying they were wrong about my Dx, therapy won’t work for me, “you don’t have to do every little thing your care coordinator tell you to do it’s just SUGGESTIONS, they’re just trying to control you” etc)

insisting on coming to all my appointments with me so i didnt get to speak to anyone on my own

trying to control my family relationships, e.g making me phone my parents but ensuring that she was there to witness whatever was said, to the point that my family were afraid to voice their concerns about the relationship in case i cut contact with them

constantly posting cringey “romantic” bullshit on Facebook, including buying flowers etc for the sole purpose of showing off what a great girlfriend she was, and becoming angry if I didn’t respond in exactly the right way (not enough kisses etc) for “making her look a cunt ”

getting her niece and nephew to call me auntie lauren and constantly referring to me as her wife from only a few months into the relationship so that i would feel more committed than i was and less able to leave

blaming me and getting angry if the flowers she bought me died too early

getting angry if I didn’t sleep with the multitude of teddies she’d brought me/have them on display at all times and angrily demanding to know why she had wasted her money

constantly telling me that I was doing the things she had to me to do like an idiot, e. g hanging up washing, and taking it down and redoing it in a way that was not discernibly different

always threatening to break up with me if I didn’t toe the line, saying there was no point in us being together and that she didnt need me and wouldnt miss me, and that shed finally have less stress and a tidy flat

saying i was hard work and belittling my intelligence if i asked her how she wanted me to do one of the really specific chores she would make me do

badly neglecting her fish by not performing water changes or removing dead fish to the point that they would literally all die before going out and getting a load more, but not letting me care for them instead despite me pleading her and buying things to make it easier for her to do (e.g an expensive water testing kit that would have lasted her years); getting angry at me if i went behind her back to try to care for them by waking up early to do a water change etc and accusing me of being a smartarse for thinking i knew more about fish than she did when i literally studied animal management at college and actually did know more than her

using me like a slave to clean up her flat/do her washing up/take her mountains of rubbish out by angrily telling me that I had made the mess the previous weekend so she had left it waiting for me (this eventually lead to her having nearly 30 bags of months old rain soaked waste on her balcony one winter that she made me take down myself because “the rubbish is YOUR job and it’s your rubbish too, Ive only ever asked you to do one thing for me and you’re so lazy you won’t even do that blah blah blah”)

telling me to do important things “later” in a way that was framed as her being nice but was actually just more convenient for her /she knew would result in the thing not getting done because she didnt want me doing it

repeatedly breaking my toilet in Nelson House by insisting on flushing her tampons down sand saying that thats what you’re supposed to do, to the point that the toilet was eventually removed, then telling everyone I broke it by having a big shit. as sharing toilets was a mental health difficulty for me I had to suffer for months before being able to move rooms because of this

washing one of my outfits in with her own washing, acting all nice and then later saying that because she had done that for me I had to do a mountain of housework for her

making me go to a&e with her constantly (multiple times a week sometimes) and getting very angry at me if I tried to point out that she didn’t need to go; expecting me to go along with whatever lies she told people about what happened (e.g saying her blood pressure was extremely high and dangerous when it had come back completely normal)

forcing me to spend the weekends at her flat whether I wanted to or not, to the extent that my housing benefit and tenancy at nelson house was put at risk

alternately praising and demeaning my support worker depending on what she had advised me about our relationship (she was leas friend/flying monkey and would switch between saying lea was abusing me and that she was good for me)

making false accusations to the police and sanctuary about me “watching videos of babies being raped” on the darkweb in an attempt to get me to kill myself because i was starting to break away from her control

breaking up with me because i sent someone she didnt like a text after being banned from talking to her all weekend

banning me from talking to people and constantly checking to see if i was or not

taking an “overdose” (it was 25mg of diazepam lol) to try and get me to go crawling back to her

saying that I snored and forcing me to use all kinds of expensive and extremely uncomfortable anti snoring medication /devices, and then usually waking me up in the middle of the night and kicking me out anyway (but getting offended if i suggested sleeping separately from the start)

acting indifferent to my presence and alternating between saying she loved me and that she didn’t need me and wouldn’t miss me if i was gone

forcing me to disclose traumatic things even if I said i wasn’t comfortable speaking to her about it (guilt trips), and then using those things against me/miraculously having the same thing happen to her but ten times worse

gossiping about me with one of my support workers and using that support workers opinion to give legitimacy to her attempts to control my decisions

making me sleep next to the open bedroom door (in her usual spot) when i was unwell despite knowing it terrified me

blaming my behavior on diagnosis she had given me herself (“it’s your autism/bipolar” etc) and insisting i didnt have bpd because “thats just what they diagnose you with when they dont know what to do with you”

making me give her massages/wash her hair and body/squeeze her back spots/shave her legs /cut her toenails for her more or less every night and getting aggressive/sulking if i didnt want to

blaming physical ailments (that she demonstrably didn’t have and who’s severity /presentation changed on a very convenient basis) as an excuse to make me do things for her

putting me under huge amounts of pressure to perform “correctly” for her at all times or be harshly berated, ultimately driving me to attempt suicide several times because there was no escape from her nastiness

telling me that her family didn’t like me /disapproved of our relationship if she couldn’t get her own way and saying they wanted her to leave me because I was x y or z

Repeatedly telling a story about her dad (who has a violent history and had been in prison for attempted murder) threatening to burn down an ex girlfriends workplace and finding it hilarious that her ex was too scared to go to work for weeks

dismissing my concerns about anything as not a big deal or getting angry about me bringing them up, even serious things (e.g a sexual assault)

deliberately provoking me when I had told her to stop because my mental health was bad and i didnt feel able to control my reactions, because she enjoyed the drama /going to the hospital /getting attention from playing the long suffering loyal girlfriend role

only ever treating me with kindness if I had made a suicide attempt/done something dangerous to myself, and then using that against me later (”you put me through hell and im still always there for you so why cant you x y or z”)

blaming her being “in crisis” on me/my poor mental health (and not even being in crisis to begin with)

never saying sorry for hurting me, ever, even when proven “wrong” about something in front of impartial third party who insisted she should apologize for it

getting angry at me for googling any of the ridiculous things she said if I wasn’t sure it was accurate

making me go to a&e/doctors /mental health team when I didn’t want or need to be there because she enjoyed the attention she received as my partner

being angry at me for bring “constantly” on my phone and accusing me of texting other people instead of paying attention to her/whatever was on tv

getting angry if I didn’t want to watch whatever she was watching on tv (she would still be watching it but would get angry if I didn’t pay enough attention)

constantly trying to one-up me with her mental health/dismiss my concerns about how i was feeling and calling me self-centered because she had everything so much worse but was still “getting on with it”

demanding that i always answer the phone to her, and calling multiple times a day to keep tabs on me, usually keeping me talking for 2-3 hours daily whenever i wasnt staying at hers. it got to the point that it was pointless for me to try to do anything because i would start and then she would interrupt. if i didnt answer she would continually call the office claiming to be worried about me

trying to stop me from drinking, going to the extent of telling my parents she thought i had a drinking problem (i objectively didnt) because she didnt want me to spend time with a housemate she was jealous of because we actually had fun

expecting me to drop everything even when I was unwell to help care for an elderly man (who at one point sexually assaulted me), including regularly cleaning up urine/feces from the walls/floor because she didnt want to do that part, despite me saying that we werent trained and didnt have the correct ppe, and if we kept going above and beyond for him social services werent going to put a proper care plan in place for him. includes countless hours at hospital etc

buying me a shirt with a a swear word printed prominently on it and getting angry when I said it would be inappropriate to wear to a care home in case they kicked me out, and forcing me to do it anyway because she wanted brian (old man) to see it

lying about the value of gifts she’d brought me as a means of control/guilt (e.g earrings that she’d told me were £60, getting angry when i accidentally damaged one but when i went to get one fixed the guy said they weren’t worth more than £10 and would cost more to repair than replace)

insisting she couldn’t wait to rehome our cats (and taking the money for them despite the fact that i paid for them and their stuff) and giving them to a stranger despite knowing it would be a matter of weeks before i would be in a position to take them myself, because she couldn’t be bothered to look after them

deciding that we were getting guinea pigs (i wanted something else) and saying that caring for them would be split equally with one belonging to her and one to me, and that she would take them with her when she moved out, but only ever cleaning them once and then leaving me to care for them exclusively

complaining and calling me needy whenever i tried to show any kind of affection

accusing me of not trusting her when i did implicitly like an idiot

blaming all the problems in the relationship on me and whenever i brought up something that was upsetting me telling me that i did it to her too but worse

taking credit for me “getting gobby”/becoming less introverted and saying she was a good influence on me, despite having nothing to do with it (and that not being true, I was just settling in to the house)

having to sit in darkness because she wouldn’t let me open the blinds because she said having them open would damage her tv

if i was ever angry/irritated saying i was “hangry” and taking the piss, encouraging me to comfort eat and then acting smug when it calmed me down

saying that she hopes my friend dies and that she deserves to die when she was in a coma

trying to turn a mutual friend against me after she broke up with me, to the point that the friend refused to repeat what she'd said but told me she was dangerous and to stay away from her

expecting me to drop everything and make her cups of tea whenever she wanted, and making me remake them if they weren’t perfect /getting angry if I said i was busy

particularly saying i had to remake tea because it tasted like soap because i hadnt washed her cup up properly (she would use the same mugs continually until they were absolutely filthy and then leave me to wash them when i was there), often after I definitely had washed them properly but she just wanted to keep me in my place

playing on my fears (of guilt, abandonment etc)

convincing me to change my mind about what i wanted through compliments etc (e.g saying i looked much better wearing whatever she wanted me to wear)

expecting me to know what she wanted at all times without being asked and generally to be able to read her mind, and getting angry and claiming that i should know what she wanted because i was her girlfriend and that she always knew what i wanted and did everything for me blah blah blah

getting angry when i suggested couples therapy and saying it would be pointless because i would just blame everything on her

accusing me of “thundering around” and having heavy footsteps when i was just walking normally so I got so paranoid i had to tiptoe everywhere

refusing to clean up to the point that she got cockroaches, then refusing to acknowledge that it was because she kept leaving dirty dishes etc out and blaming it on her neighbours or on me, and then refusing to do anything about it so i had to pay for the poison and put it out repeatedly etc and make sure I cleaned up after her every time I came over so they wouldn't keep coming back

getting extremely frustrated when trying to accomplish simple tasks (usually diy related) but getting really angry and me when i offered help and accusing me of thinking she was an idiot (she was being an idiot a lot of the time, not reading instructions/using powertools in dangerous ways etc). it was scary and she would sometimes break things that i had bought out of frustration if she couldnt get them to work right (the cat cage & ball track toy for example)

refusing to prepare at all for when she moved out of nelson house so i had to do it, and then refusing to unpack her stuff at the other end in the hope that i would do that too

refusing to let me report an incidence of child abuse that happened in a neighbouring flat to hers because she was friends with the father and said the child deserved it

refusing to let me take the bus at times (she did pay for taxis for me but given the amount of money she took from me i might as well have been paying for them) even when i wanted to and acting like by not giving me a choice she was doing me a favour. in retrospect i think she wanted to know that i was going straight home

always asking me where i was, who i was with and sometimes accusing me of lying about it, either way trying to make my life hell

trying to encourage me to stay on my own and ignore my housemates but phrasing it in a cutesy way (just make a cup of tea and shut your door and have a nice night to yourself without any drama) so it sounded less like she was trying to be controlling

ringing me every night to confirm that i was in bed when i said i would be and making me video call her if she didnt believe me

telling me gossip about mutual friends that wasnt even true because she loved the drama (e.g saying venetias children had died because they had been born deformed)

constantly slagging off her exes and telling fantastical stories about how they broke up/stalked her/abandoned her/abused her and about the triumphant ways she got back at them

generally always telling incredibly unbelievable stories that made her look either “good” (e.g “taking down a squaddie in front of his mates”, sleeping with a nurse while both on duty) or made her out to be the illest (claiming to have had a psychotic break, coughing up a kidney stone)

virtue signalling with brian while also being controlling towards him/explaining things to him in a way that he would do what she wanted/saying “oh he won’t mind, he’d tell us to do it if he were here” when she used his card to buy us lunch etc (yeah he probably would have but that isnt the point)

getting angry if i ever discussed our relationship with anyone else, saying it was none of their business/i was trying to make her look like a cunt; telling me not to tell anyone after she did horrible things

promising things about the future and then never delivering any of it

saying that she wouldnt be the one carrying our children, trying to tell me that getting sperm from facebook was safe and generally treating me like a walking uterus

ending lies/false promises with “you know i will/do/am” to try and enforce to me that she was telling the truth

telling me to cancel holidays id paid for/not come over/generally throwing her toys out of the pram when she couldnt get her own way

forcing me to watch murder documentaries, usually about women being murdered by their partners, and getting way too in to it in a way that was a bit creepy

telling me my menstrual cup was disgusting and trying to force me to use tampons instead

making a big fuss about how she used to ~be an alcoholic~ and that she cant drink because it makes her a nasty person, and then buying a load of beer and vodka when the relationship wasnt going well and saying shed fallen off of the wagon because of me

constantly telling me i had BO to the point i was really paranoid (nobody else has ever said anything about it)

bullying me into letting her smoke in my room

throwing her rubbish on to my floor constantly because she was too lazy to pick it up, so i had to

constantly talking about how against domestic violence she was, saying she'd never hit a woman and how she had been a victim of it to make me think what she was doing wasnt abuse

doing small things for me that I found difficult because of my mental health (e. g phone calls) and then holding it over my head

telling me that i was incapable of love, and that the only person i loved was myself because of how selfish i am

deliberately killing two bees that I was enjoying watching by stomping them into the pavement then laughing at me when I was upset about it

0 notes

sadrien · 8 years ago

Text

wanna chat? pt. 15

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

wow has it been A Week

i have two tests in a few hours and i have so many notes left and calc problems and i'm dying so have this!

there are two links in the chapter and i know you're probably like. why would i click those? i mean i wouldn’t trust me either, but i swear they're fine. ignore the first if you'd like, but if you don't click the second you're probably going to be fairly confused? you'll see what i mean

this is extra long because i'm feeling extra procrastinate-y

(sorting hat = nino, cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub = alya, dipshit = adrien, ahHHH = mari)

i'm off to fail. enjoy~

3:23

sorting hat: what the fuck was i thinking were french wed go to beauxbatons oh also @alya akuma attack

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: but thats bORING wait what fuCK WHEN I FINALLY DECID E 2 SLEPE

sorting hat: please dont leave the house im too tired

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: …. nino what the fuck is thsi akuma

sorting hat: why would i know???

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: bc i dont

sorting hat: love that 3 in the morning logic

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: all thats on the forums is pics of it stacking cars??????????? @hawkmoth wyd

sorting hat: being a dick probably

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ok tru oooo something new in the inbox of the ladyblog make ur bets now

sorting hat: i say random theory

dipshit: Fanart duh

sorting hat: bro!!! youre up!! <3

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: gm marshmallow my love

sorting hat: howd you wake up? did the akuma get close to your house and finally make noise or osmething?

dipshit: Oh I never went to bed

sorting hat: …

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: what the SHI T SLEEP BOI

dipshit: Trust me, I would’ve if I wanted to

sorting hat: mari is the only one of us with any sense

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: shes a smart one

dipshit: Yeah Anyway what’s in the inbox

sorting hat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VRr9NG7RE0

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: thank u bab much appreciated but also ur a nerd anyway its wait waht ths hit hlyk fucik

sorting hat: uhhhh alya you ok??

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i S HTIS AK JOKE IMS TCARED TO CPIICK IT

dipshit: Well what is it??

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: IS T A FICKUING VIDOE WITH CHANT OIRS FACE AS THE THUMBLNAIL FIFS:DKLFJ:SDLKFJQWIUE:C:KJGK:SJ

sorting hat: wait like like he shot it himself??

dipshit: That’s some dedication is it like mid-akuma fight or something

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ahhhHHH I DON TKNOW I HAVNE TWATCHED IT YET its itS THE M TEHY METION ME MOM HOL Y FCUK i can t;breakt h im oginna die nsow WAITN I NEDD TO POST

sorting hat: please dont die on us yo send me the link fam

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DINOSUAR SCREEEECH

dipshit: Did you mean pterodactyl screech

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DO U THISNK I CAN SPELL THAT NR

dipshit: Honestly I didn’t even spell it right I had to use spellcheck

sorting hat: smh fake fan i bet you cant even name ten dinosaurs

dipshit: Do you want me to try???

sorting hat: no no i do not not right now maybe after school

dipshit: Does spelling count

sorting hat: yup scientific names only too bro no long neck bullshit

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ladyblog.tumblr.com/post/324367743289/update-from-the-favs ICAHT STOP YELLING IM SO GETITN G INTORUBLE FOR BEIGS O LOUD BUT HOLY SHI T

sorting hat: dang they look exhaust ed and that akuma really is just stacking cars

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i need a flashing gif thatj us tsays LADYNOIR IS CANON

sorting hat: bro thi s is so accurate to staying up until 3 am tho

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: HE CALLED HER PERFEC T

dipshit: Missed pun opportunity Could’ve said purrfect

sorting hat: im kicking you out

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: MARHSMALLOW I LIVOE U also i think theyr right about it being a kid

sorting hat: but like lb said its really late

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i mean tru

sorting hat: it looks like theyre building a castel or somethng

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: a fortress!!!

sorting hat: yeah!!!

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: to protect them from d r a g o n s or scary things

sorting hat: yo it couldve just been a kid with a nightmare if you by that

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: god whne the girls have a nightmare its ROUGH sometiems nothing will get them back to bed cant blame them i mean one of the things that helps them is drwing nightmares fuk i woudlnt want to go back to sleep either

dipshit: The akumas building a fortress huh?

sorting hat: idk man we arent talking to the akuma ask chat

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: oh yeah no that failed

sorting hat: ????

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: he tried to talk to them and they just like picked him up and threw him away some1 submitted a video rip chat noir

dipshit: Sounds painful

sorting hat: rip in pepperoni anyway if you look at the akuma theyre sorta dressed up ya know

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i wanna say ur projecting the castle thing but ur right that thing in their hair looks like a crown

dipshit: Huh you’re right

sorting hat: man i need to sleep akumas are bullshit

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: i just watche dthe video for the sixth itm e im gnna memorize it

sorting hat: babe please if youre gonna memorize something you should wait for a better vidoe

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: DO U THINK THEYLLY SEND A NOTHER

sorting hat: idk why not they sent thsi one

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT FAM oh snap here come the amgic ladybugs there the y go ayyyy

sorting hat: sleep

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub: ok godo plan see u in a few hours 2 cry

PM between dipshit and ahHHH

ahHHH: I cannot bleieve you used our friends to stop an akuma

dipshit: Can you please let me live

ahHHH: I cant believe you sent taht video to alya

dipshit: Did you see how happy she was?????

ahHHH: Oh my god Im going to bed Please actually sleep???

dipshit: Uhh No promises but I’ll try my best

ahHHH: You better Night kittne

dipshit: See you in a few hours Night bugaboo

7:58 in hogwarts house discourse

sorting hat: i want to die

cochairman of adrien agreste fanclub has changed their name to ladynoir keeps me living

ladynoir keeps me living renamed this conversation to “life is meaningless”.

dipshit: Optimistic

ahHHH: Fuck m y life and efverythign in it

16:03

ladynoir keeps me living has renamed this conversation to “what the fUCK”.

ladynoir keeps me living: what the fuc k what thif cuk what teh kcuk WHAT THE ICUK NINO

sorting hat: babe im standing right next to you im processing gimme a fucking second

ladynoir keeps me living: ...

sorting hat: ok i had a second what

ladynoir keeps me living: whaT ETH FCUK YOU TWO REPSOND YOU FUCKERS BOLTED WHAT HTE UC K

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ladynoir keeps me living: MARINETTE DUPAIN CHENG WHAT THE FUC K MARI!!!!!!!!!!! ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and dipshit

ladynoir keeps me living: answer uR GODDAMN PHON E I M GODING HUNT U DOWN I F U DONT RESPJNOD

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: did i just see what i htink i saw correction did alya and i see what we think i saw bro adrien agreste are you here hellllooooooo shit dude

PM between sorting hat and ahHHH

sorting hat: dude dude what was that how long has that been a thing broski marinette goddammit guys

PM between ahHHH and dipshit

dipshit: Uh I’m really sorry about that It just Happened

ahHHH: Its fine Youre fine Its fine Were all fine

dipshit: Are they…?

ahHHH: Yup I have So many messages Oh my go d

dipshit: I’m so sorry

ahHHH: Its both our faults or something

dipshit: You want Alya or Nino

ahHHH: Uh lets do this the simplest way you go nino i go alya Good luck

dipshit: Same to you

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: What

ladynoir keeps me living: ok deep breaths do not what me i saw that nino saw that you lived it

ahHHH: lived what

ladynoir keeps me living: U JUST KISSED ADRIEN AGREST E

ahHHH: um

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

dipshit: Hey Nino What’s up

sorting hat: ha ha very funny alyas having a cow but seriously did you and marinette kiss

dipshit: Uhh I mean yes Yes we did There was lip touching going on there It was an accident

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: It was an accident!!!!

ladynoir keeps me living: an aCCIDENT

ahHHH: Were both really tired and we were standing next to each otehr and idont know what happened

ladynoir keeps me living: what did u fall asleep on each others lips or something?!??!??!?!?!? accident?!??????

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: an accident

dipshit: I kind of Wasn’t thinking

sorting hat: really fucknig smooth bro

dipshit: Sue me

sorting hat: no thank s are you two dating now or?

dipshit: No we’re not

sorting hat: but you like marinette before you say no please know i just saw you lock lips and i also am your best friend and also have eyes

dipshit: Ok yes I like her

sorting hat: so are you gonna ask her out

dipshit: Uhh ... ...no I don’t think so

sorting hat: bruh why not??

dipshit: It’s complicated

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ladynoir keeps me living: i hate both of u ur actuallt he worst

ahHHH: Im sorry???

ladynoir keeps me living: MAKE OUT ALREADY

ahHHH: Alya stop!!!!! We arent dating or anyhting

ladynoir keeps me going: what hte fUCK why not!!!!! u kissed!!! u 2 talk all the time u make each other laugh u spend a ton of time together u like each other ur dating

ahHHH: Al Im not dating adrien!!!

ladynoir keeps me going: ok fine but u could

ahHHH: By that logic I could also be dating you and nino

ladynoir keeps me going: yes yes u could be

PM between sorting hat and dipshit

sorting hat: complicated??? what about it is complicated?????? you like her she likes you if you havent figured that out by now i dont know what to tell you dude other than maybe all that homeschooling made you worse at social interaction than we thought cause its freaking obvious man like really really obvious

dipshit: It really is complicated, I swear

sorting hat: what?? do you like someone else too or something?

dipshit: Yeah Actually I do

sorting hat: who? ladybug still?? i mean same ladybug is fucking awesome and ive been in a room with teh two of you chemistry and awkwardness but like dont take this the wrong way dude but what are your chances? im not gonna pull an alya and say lb and cn are a thing but how well would dating a superhero really work out? you like mari mari likes you youve already kissed once you guys are so close already might as well just change the relationship status on facebook you know? adrien? ok well think on it dude ill be here if you wanna talk

PM between ladynoir keeps me living and ahHHH

ahHHH: Its not that simple

ladynoir keeps me living: yes it is? do u like him? yes does he like u? yes did u like kissing him? im gonna guess yes is it the asking out part ur scared of cause i can totally bug him into asking u out first

ahHHH: No its not that its just I Its kinda complicated

ladynoir keeps me living: ??????

ahHHH: I cant really

ladynoir keeps me living: mari u ok?? do u need me to come over cause i can

ahHHH: No its ok Im fine

ladynoir keeps me living: did adrien do smth do i need to beat him up

ahHHH: No! No its not him Adrien is perfect

ladynoir keeps me living: sap

ahHHH: Just Give me a minute Ok?

ladynoir keeps me living: ill wait for u to text first

ahHHH: Thanks

PM between dipshit and ahHHH

dipshit: So

ahHHH: So

dipshit: That happened

ahHHH: Yup

dipshit: Nino asked if we were dating

ahHHH: Alya did too

dipshit: Mari I like you a lot

ahHHH: And I really like you too But theres a but right?

dipshit: Yeah You too?

ahHHH: Yeah

dipshit: I think we should just Wait? A little bit?

ahHHH: I was thinking the same thing Not necessarily a long time just Some Time

dipshit: Exactly I mean I’ve been in love with you for months honestly But there’s…

ahHHH: Same here I’ve had a huge embarrassing crush on you since the beginning of the year

dipshit: Glad we’re the same level of awkward and embarrassing

ahHHH: That wasnt our first kiss By the way Just Thought you should Probably know at this point

dipshit: Wait what?

ahHHH: Dark Cupid? You um I needed to break his hold on you and I remembered class and there had been something about a kis sbreaking a spell so Yeah You didnt remember so I didnt say anything Maybe I shouldve I jsut felt Really awkward about it??? Sorry

dipshit: Oh Um

ahHHH: IM REALLY REALLY SORRY

dipshit: It’s fine!!! Really it’s fine It sounds like it’d be awkward to bring up But thanks for telling me I appreciate it

ahHHH: Of course Um Im gonna do some homeowrk so I can go to bed early tonight Hopefully Hawkmoth will leave us alone

dipshit: Oh god I hope so I can’t do another late night That was terrible

ahHHH: That video was awful But it was fun You might sway me on this social media thing yet kitty

dipshit: :3c

ahHHH: Youre the w o r s t

dipshit: I know Let me know if you have any problems with chem or physics I did the homework while she was going over the stuff from yesterday

ahHHH: Its unfair how smart you are

dipshit: Promise you’ll ask for help??

ahHHH: Yeah I promise Dont you have piano today?

dipshit: Yup and I should probably go get ready for that Good luck my lady

ahHHH: You too kitten

#adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #wanna chat #my fics #k so everyones gonna get the wrong idea about this buT ITS FINE

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