#buddie lawsuit era

[p4nishers]

wait wait WAIT!!!!! am i the actual last one to realize that the lawsuit is simultaneously an exact parallel and opposite of eddie not wanting to let shannon back into their lives cause he doesn't trust her???? like. shannon broke eddie's trust by leaving. buck BROKE eddie's trust by LEAVING. he let shannon back in for christopher. he let buck back in for christopher AND for himself, bc he could never truly live without buck, in a way he could live without shannon. not being able to forgive shannon for leaving them. forgiving buck the moment he apologized (and long before that). his biggest hurt was not being able to talk to either of them. "did you ever stop for a minute and think about what that could do to us?". LIKE!!!! WHAT.

[warpedpuppeteer]

We don't talk enough about how when Eddie was arrested, the first person he thought of calling was Buck. He only called Lena because he couldn't legally call Buck. We don't talk enough about what this means.

Eddie didn't want to call anyone else from the 118 because he was worried about their reactions or his job yet he wanted to call Buck who is part of the 118 and works with him because he's secure in the knowledge that Buck would never judge him. That Buck will always come to bail him out of any situation (in this case, literally). He knows that whatever he needs Buck will drop everything to come for him.

Also he wanted to. Eddie wanting anything for himself is a very rare occurrence. Which explains why he was so mad at Buck; because he wanted but he couldn't. Buck did this to him. He carved out a space in his home and in his heart and just when Eddie thinks he can want this and have it, Buck decides to sue the department and takes that option away from him.

"When you decided to sue the department to make cap the bad guy, did you stop for a minute to think what that could do to us?". The 'us' being him and Buck. The 'us' being the trust they've built between them. The 'us' being Eddie wanting Buck's help but Buck not being there.

These little subtle things that we don't talk about much, the things unsaid, those are the things that make Buddie that much more lovable to me.

[fionaswhvre]

Eddie being mad at Buck during the lawsuit era was kinda insane because:

• He didn't really even have anything to be mad about.

• The lawyer bought up personal stuff about others (Bobby's addiction, Hen's past job, Chimney's stabbing) but the only personal thing about Eddie that was talked about was his wife's death & only in the context of Bobby letting him back to work so soon after that.

• It can be argued that Eddie was mad on behalf of Bobby, but he never once reprimanded Buck for suing Bobby.

• So, the only reason left for Eddie's anger is not being able to talk to Buck.

• This was right after he told him he trusted Buck with his son the most in the world. And then Buck didn't give it a second thought that he won't be able to talk to Eddie.

• And that drives Eddie crazy with anger because how dare Buck not think about him even once before deciding that he's okay with not talking to him.

• Also, it's not entirely Buck's fault because the whole thing was supposed to be temporary anyways. Whether he won or lost, once the case was over, he was allowed to talk to them.

• But Eddie cannot even digest that, because he has come to rely on Buck for everything.

• And that makes him mad at himself too, because how dare he assume Buck would stay for him and his son when Christopher's own mother didn't.

• Thus, he blames himself for again relying on someone when the world has proven to him again and again that he and Christopher only have each other.

• And that makes him so angry that he joins a fucking fight club.

Bonus: When Buck comes back, Eddie forgives him in an instant. Something he couldn't bring himself to do for Shannon, who was supposed to be the love of his life.

[19agbrown]

Masterlist

It's been... yeesh. I don't even know how long it's been since the last time I made one of these. At least a year, for sure. But I've got a lot more fics since the last time I made one, I know that much.

So, here goes.

This one is only going to be for my 9-1-1 fics, as there are 70 fics posted on Ao3, so if I did all of them on one Masterlist, it would get pretty lengthy. ...I say, as if this things didn't take me 4 hours to make. 38 9-1-1 fics. 😅

Season 7

You're Not Safe With Me, Rated T. Complete. Post Basketball game in 7x04, Buck spiraled over the fact that he hurt Eddie. It's Not Buddie, but it was heading that direction.

Would You Dig For Me? , Rated T. Complete. Tommy watched a video of a news report from the well collapse, and had some realizations. It's a BT break-up, and, honestly, I like it better than the canon one. Buddie.

Dispatch Era

Never Ending Nightmare, Rated T. Complete. Basically, Buck struggles with nightmares because of all of his trauma, and a lot of those nightmares feature the death of Eddie and/or Christopher. When Eddie was at the 118, it was easy for Buck to ground himself and see that the nightmare was just that. With Eddie at dispatch, not so much.

Don't Leave Me, Rated T. Complete. Buck spirals because of Eddie going to dispatch and leaving the 118, and drunkenly confronts Eddie about it. Buddie.

Tsunami

I Walked Through Water To Fall At Your Feet, Rated T. Complete. During the tsunami, Buck and Christopher didn't get separated.

Slipping In The Shower, Rated T. Complete. After working a call at the beach, Buck goes home and has a really bad tsunami flashback that gets coupled with a concussion.

Wave on Wave, Rated T. Complete. While Christopher is in Texas, the 118 takes a call to the beach. Buck has a tsunami flashback while on the call, and the only way they can snap him out of it is to call Christopher.

Lawsuit/Post Lawsuit

Buck's Bad Night, Rated T. Complete. Buck has a 12 hour shift while everyone else has a 24. Not wanting to go home to his empty loft and miserable over the state of his relationship with the rest of the 118, Buck goes to a bar, where someone tampers with his drink, and he has to call 9-1-1. The 118 respond.

Man Down, Rated T. Complete. It's the first call that Bobby has let Buck out on since the lawsuit, and he gets hurt. Not wanting to get stuck being man behind again, Buck tries to hide the injury. Buddie.

No Matter Where I Go, I'm Never Home, Rated T. Complete. Buck's landlord evicts Buck without warning, so he plans to sleep in his Jeep. And then his Jeep gets stolen, so he gets stuck sleeping on the street. It doesn't end well.

When Chores Attack, Rated T. Complete. Buck is stuck as man behind, and has to clean the ladder truck when the 118 comes back from a call. To do so, he has to climb under the truck, which causes a flashback to the truck bombing. Buddie.

Buck On Fire, Rated M. Complete. Buck's apartment building catches on fire in the middle of the night, and he gets everyone out, but gets injured in the process. He waves off the paramedics to tend to everyone else instead of him, and nearly dies as a result.

You Can Blame Bad Luck, Rated M. Complete. Buck runs into Christopher and Pepa at a grocery store mere minutes before a mass shooting breaks out. Buddie.

Behind Blue Eyes, Rated G. Tumblr Prompt. Complete. Buck gives the 118 a piece of his mind.

Blood In The Candy, Rated T. Complete. Halloween themed, because who doesn't like those? Buck gets mugged on his way to work on Halloween, and everyone thinks his injuries are just a costume.

Miscellaneous (I couldn't think of a category for them)

101 Synonyms For Awkward, And This Is All of Them, Rated M. Complete. Buck gets stuck in an awkward situation, and it's all because Eddie did the dishes.

All Bets Are Off, Rated M. Complete. Buck and Eddie don't know where to draw the line. With anything, really, but especially with their bets. Buddie.

Wake Me Up Before You Go, Rated T. Complete. After the lightning strike, Buck's coma dream is quite a bit different than the one you know. When he wakes up, he doesn't know it was only a dream. Buddie.

Road Rage, Rated T. Complete. Buck has Christopher on his day off, when a road rage incident results in Buck being shot.

It's Like That, Rated T. Complete. From 8x04. When Buck is talking to Bobby, and says "Not like that", well. This is 'What if it was like that'.

Explicit

The Sky Is Falling, Rated E. Complete. Buck and Eddie are having some 'fun time' when the ceiling of Buck's loft falls down on them. They are forced to call 9-1-1, and the 118 responds. Buddie.

To Protect The Secrets I Hold, Rated E. Non Con. Complete. Chase Mackey blackmailed Buck into taking the money during the lawsuit, and then just kept blackmailing him. What happens when things go too far?

Multi Chapter

Christopher's Island, Rated M. 4 Chapters. Complete. Buck and Christopher didn't get separated during the tsunami. Instead, they got washed out to sea and stranded on an island, leaving everyone to believe they were dead. Buddie.

Arsonist's Lullaby, Rated T. 3 Chapters. Complete. Buck was forced to frame himself for Eddie and Christopher's murders, and was nearly executed for crimes he didn't commit. Buddie.

I Can Only Imagine, Rated T. 5 Chapters. Complete. Buck and Eddie were each other's childhood imaginary friends, and things did not end well between them. And then they meet as adults for the first time when Eddie joins the 118. Buddie.

Series

The Edge, Parts 9/10

Essentially, after the lawsuit and it's aftermath, Buck tried to kill himself. Eddie talked him down, and helped him through the recovery, feelings developing between the pair along the way. Buddie.

At The Edge, We Live or We Die, Rated M. Complete.

2. From The Edge, We Walked, Rated M. Complete.

3. Away From The Edge, I'll Stay, Rated M. Complete.

4. Love Has A Sharp Edge, Rated T. Complete.

5. You're Never Alone At The Edge, Rated T. Complete.

6. Promises At The Edge, Rated T. Complete.

7. The Edge That We Face, Rated T. Complete.

8. The Edge of Regret, Rated T. Complete.

9. At The Edge, We Fell, Rated T. Complete.

Blood Is Thinner Than Water, Parts 2/? +1

Blood Is Thinner Than Water, Rated M. Major Character Death. Complete. After the lawsuit, while on blood thinners, Buck accidentally cut his hand. Instead of calling 9-1-1, he tried to call his family. But they didn't pick up.

2. I Tried, But I'll Never Forget, Rated T. Complete. Chimney visits Buck's grave.

Blood Is Thinner Than Water (Alternate Ending), Rated M. Complete. After the lawsuit, while on blood thinners, Buck accidentally cut his hand. Instead of calling 9-1-1, he tried to call his family. Only, this time, Eddie picked up. Buddie.

Incomplete

A Light In The Dark, Rated E. Chapters 4/22. The world ends, and Buck and Eddie are all that's left. ...or are they? Basically a sort of Walking Dead AU with some elements of World War Z, 28 Days Later, and Maze Runner mixed in. Buddie.

[wowthatsextra]

Canon Buddie interaction

[starsanddaggers]

a snippet from a bouquet of unsaid i love yous !!

[schrijverr]

Who to Call When You’re on the Edge?

Buck feels all alone in the middle of the lawsuit with no one to talk to. Wanting to do something stupid, he tries to stop himself by calling Christopher – just to hear him talk about his day – hoping it’ll make it stop. Instead, Eddie overhears and Buck still gets hurt, but he’s not as alone as he thinks.

On AO3.

Ships: pre-slash Buddie

Warnings: self-harm, depression, PTSD and self-loathing

~~~

Buck can’t sleep after the tsunami. At first he could, he was knocked out for fourteen hours after he got home from that nightmare, ensured that everyone was okay and exhausted both mentally and physically. Then he kept himself going. Moved on, got in shape to go back to work. But that never happened.

Now he’s in the middle of a lawsuit that has spiraled out of control so fast he doesn’t know exactly how he got into the mess. All he does know is that if he calls 911, they won’t answer.

The team has frozen him out and they’re right to do it. Sure, they’re not allowed to talk to him due to the lawsuit, but none of them have tried. None of them make an effort. Even Maddie, who is uninvolved, keeps being around Chimney, making it impossible for Buck to show up. And the times he has seen someone of the 118, they’ve been cold.

All he wants is his job back, his team back. He just wants to help, to be useful. To drive on that truck with them and make a difference. Have his family back.

But Bobby thinks he can’t do it and the others clearly agree. Eddie, his best friend, agrees. He picked a side and is clear about it.

Buck can’t blame him. He couldn’t believe Eddie would let him near Christopher again after that tsunami, after he lost him. And it only took Cap pointing out that Buck isn’t qualified for him to rescind that trust and keep Christopher as far away from Buck as possible.

The worst part is that Buck understands. He also wouldn’t want him to be around Christopher, but selfishly, he wishes Eddie wouldn’t have realized that. Because having the kid around helped. It helped so much.

Seeing him practically every day while he recovered assured him that Christopher was alright, that his nightmares aren’t real and he didn’t fail Christopher as much as he did. Made it so he knew the kid was okay. Now he doesn’t have that and suddenly, he can’t sleep anymore.

He’s exhausted. He stayed up all night, because sleeping scares him. He couldn’t manage to hold on when 5:00 hit, but it’s 7:00 now and he’s in bed gasping for air after waking up from a horrible nightmare.

Losing Christopher that day was the worst moment of it. Just hearing that splash and turning around to find him gone. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget that.

With shaky legs he gets out of bed and pads down the stairs, slumping over his kitchen table after filling a glass of water, flinching at the sound the tap makes. He sips at it for a bit, then abandons that to stare into it for god knows how long.

Buck is tired. He’s tired and worried and scared and alone. And he doesn’t want to be any of it.

Just a few weeks ago, he had it all. A team that flocked around him, that cared for him like family does. His sister, who he could drop by unannounced whenever he pleased, instead of being stuck sending cards that never got replied to. Working his way back to a job he loved.

And now that’s gone and Buck is doing everything he can to get it back, but it just isn’t working and all he tries only seems to break it more.

He sighs deeply, tearing his eyes away from his glass to drift around his empty apartment. When he was still in his cast, someone would come by every day to see if he was doing okay. That seems so far removed now.

His eyes land on the knife block that is standing there. Picked out by Allie, but never really used, bar that one time Bobby came over to cook.

Buck can take it, cut into his finger, say it was a cooking accident. His team might come see him in the hospital if he does that. Maddie might worry. If he says he wanted to learn how to cook, since take out was getting old, maybe Bobby will come over again and teach him.

But just a little cut won’t do, he thinks, slowly moving closer to the knives. He’s a firefighter, he knows that is not really bad enough to truly land in the hospital. He can say he slipped, cut close to his wrist, that he thinks he missed a major artery, but that he’s on blood thinners. That would definitely get him hospitalized.

However, he knows the risks in that. He might have watched Hen and Chim a thousand times, but he doesn’t fully trust himself not to hit something too important, plus he has no clue how the blood thinners might affect everything. Despite what it sounds like, he doesn’t actually want to die, just wants a reason for his family to care again. If they’re still his family that is.

He slips out one of the knives and studies it. He grabbed one of the shorter ones, one that wouldn’t run him through completely and one he might realistically grab if he were to try cooking.

If he takes a second, he’s sure he can create a scene where a slip might have occurred, a fall that got the knife lodged in his leg. That way he can keep it in until he paramedics come and he won’t be able to walk, so he’ll definitely get carted off to the hospital and they’ll call Maddie or Bobby and they’ll come. They must come. Right?

Buck can just stab himself in the leg and then they’ll care again.

However, a small voice can’t help but whisper: But what if they don’t? What if they don’t care? What if no one comes? What if all you do is set back your case and you’ll never get back to work? What if they take this as a sign you’re not up for it?

He can’t allow that to happen. He needs that job. He needs to help. He needs to matter.

Fuck, all he wants to do is matter to someone. To matter to his team. But instead he’s here, feeling sad for himself, pathetically planning an elaborate scene just to know that someone is still out there, that someone still cares.

He thinks of Christopher again. How happy he still is despite all the bad news, after all that has happened to him. He never lets it get to him, never feels sorry for himself like Buck does. God, the kid is so smart, so good. Way too good for Buck to ever be actual friends with.

Still, Christopher doesn’t think that. Christopher thinks Buck saved him during that tsunami. That he is okay, because of Buck’s actions. Christopher still cares about him. Christopher might know what to say to get this stupid plan out of his head.

With the knife still in his hand, he makes his way over to his oven. The clock informs him it is 10:30. He has been pitying himself for over three hours now.

It’s also nearly Christopher’s break at school. He knows Eddie always checks he has his phone on him, before dropping him off, witnessed it a dozen times himself. It’s nearly the early break. He can just call Christopher, hear his voice, remind himself that he’s okay and that Buck did that, that he can do it again in the future. That Christopher cares. No one has to know.

He makes his way back to the kitchen table where he left his phone. He drops down in the chair and puts the knife next to him on the table, before grabbing his phone.

Buck stares at the contact for a few minutes, debating if he should really do this. Before he can talk himself out of it, he clicks it, watching the phone ring as he puts in back on the table and on speaker, holding his breath and biting his thumb nervously.

The phone rings and rings.

Needing something to do, he grabs the knife. He clutches it tightly, before relaxing his grip, letting his finger run along it, pressing to feel if it’s sharp. Not enough to draw blood, but enough to be able to feel it.

“Buck?” Christopher greets him, sounding both excited yet as if he doesn’t know if it’s actually happening. Buck hates that he let him down like that. Again.

“Hey, buddy,” he smiles instead, hoping the regret and self loathing doesn’t show in his voice. “How are you doing? Good day?”

“Yeah, why are you calling?” Christopher asks.

“Just wanted to know how you’ve been doing. I know I’ve been busy and I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner,” Buck says, lump in his throat. He clears it and continues: “I just wanted to check up on you, you know. What have you been up to at school?”

That is clearly enough explanation for Christopher, because he starts talking about what they’ve been doing and how his classes are going, while Buck makes all the right noises to make him keep going. Keep talking.

He doesn’t know why, but there are tears in his eyes and he feels a little like he’s choking. He holds the knife with two hands, resting his head against the back of it as his knees prop up his arms. Like some fucked up kind of prayer.

Buck knows that soon Christopher will be gone again. The break will be over or a teacher will spot him and tell him to stop. Buck doesn’t know what he’ll do with himself if that happens. If he’ll go through with the plan or if Christopher’s talking will be enough to make that empty feeling go away, but for now, this is good.

Naturally, neither happens, because the universe is out to get him. Christopher cuts himself off mid sentence and Buck can hear Eddie asks: “Who’re you talking to?”

“Buck,” Christopher answers happily.

The second Buck hears Eddie’s voice he starts cursing. How is he there? Is there like a field trip he’s helping on? Is Christopher sick and staying home? He didn’t mention anything like that. Fuck, what day is it even?

None of that matters. What matters is that Buck can’t face Eddie. He can’t handle his best friend being mad at him for talking to Christopher. He needs to hang up as soon as possible, he can explain to Christopher later why he didn’t say goodbye properly.

In his fumble to hang up, he drops the knife. It nicks his thigh, then slices down his calf, before clattering on the floor. Blood starts dripping out and Buck presses what he hopes is the right button, before putting pressure on it.

As it turns out, it was not the right button, because, as Buck realized before; the universe hates him, it hates him so very much.

“What the hell are you doing? Calling Christoper like that?” Eddie’s demand comes over the phone, right as Buck smashes his head into the table in an attempt to reach for his leg.

“Fucking ouch,” Buck curses, before he gets his hands on his calf. The long slash is bleeding the most and he doesn’t have enough hands for both the phone and his wound. It’s probably going to need stitches. Seems like the universe made his choice for him.

“Buck? Are you okay, man? What’s happening?” Eddie asks and normally it’s great that Eddie worries, that he cares if Buck is okay. However, Buck wants him to worry about him because of something that is not this.

Panicking slightly he says: “Oh, uhm, yeah, yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine. Just, uh… Just cut myself accidentally. I was cooking.”

“Since when do you cook?” Eddie asks, good to know that wouldn’t have worked.

“Since today,” Buck lies. “Wanted to try something new. It’s just a nick. I’m going to hang up now, sorry for calling Christopher. Won’t happen again.”

“You’re on blood thinners, Buck. You sure it’s okay?” Eddie asks and Buck feels a warmth blooming in his chest at how quick Eddie forgot about being mad in favor of being worried.

“Yeah, just a stitch or two,” he undersells it. This conversation will keep him going for a long while, he just has to get out of it now.

Bad thing to say, apparently, because Eddie’s voice is an octave higher when he speaks again. “You need stitches?”

“Not a lot.”

“That’s still not good. Call 911.”

“No, man! Everyone’s still recovering from that tsunami, hospitals are crowded. It’s not that bad,” Buck says, watching as more and more blood leaks on the floor. That doesn’t seem very good, he’ll have to get moving soon.

“They can make time for a few stitches,” Eddie argues.

“I can do it myself,” Buck argues right back.

“Do you even know how to?”

“Yeah, man, it’s stitches. Did it for others, can’t be that hard to do it for myself.”

“Okay, that’s it. Don’t do anything, especially not anything stupid. I’m coming over.”

“Wait, no-” It’s too late, Eddie has already hung up. With wide eyes Buck looks around his apartment. It doesn’t look like he’s been cooking, he’s not sure he even has groceries. Besides, the blood is very clearly not at a counter where he would have been cooking and it’s a lot worse than he made it seem.

He needs to do damage control, right now.

Buck pushes himself out of the chair, hobbling over to the kitchen to grab a towel, which he binds around his leg.

With that done, he moves to the fridge, which is indeed sadly empty. There is some moldy take out, some eggs that are probably bad and an onion. Onion will have to do. He snatches a cutting board and hurries back to the table, slicing the onion in half and leaving the knife back on the floor.

He is about to do something with his leg so Eddie won’t worry and it’ll appear like he’s actually responding as a first responder should when Eddie is already coming in. The lock clicks open easily, since Buck gave him a key. He’s still kinda surprised the man kept it after Buck screwed everything up.

Eddie is carrying medical gear, probably assumed Buck would be under prepared. Buck is a little ashamed to say he is. He usually keeps a good first aid kit, but he hasn’t restocked it yet. Didn’t see the need, since he’s not out in the field and coming home with scrapes.

There is no Christopher in tow, something Buck is only mildly grateful for when he sees Eddie pale before rushing to his side. “What the hell, man! You said you nicked yourself, that’s a long cut.”

“I might have undersold it a little.”

“A little?” Eddie shrieks as he slides to his knees next to Buck and starts out taking supplies.

“Now a bad time to mention it hit my thigh too?” Buck grimaces, not from the pain, but the embarrassment.

“What even happened?” Eddie asks.

“I dropped the knife, that’s all,” Buck shrugs, trying not to give any details if he can help it.

“I’m calling 911.”

“No!” It comes out harsher than Buck would have liked, but it’s too late now. He clears his throat and in a calmer voice he repeats: “No. It’s okay. I’m okay. No 911.”

“Buck,” Eddie looks at him intently, frown appearing on his forehead. “You’re on blood thinners, you have a long cut that needs stitches and a smaller wound that needs stitches too. You’ve been bleeding for a while now already. You need a hospital.”

“What’s a hospital going to do?” Buck scoffs. “Stitch me up? You can do that.”

“They will also give you blood, idiot. You’ve lost a lot of it already,” Eddie replies, already giving him a local anesthetic, so he can start to stitch him up.

“I’m not loosing consciousness,” Buck argues. “And a hospital has records. The 911 call has records. I don’t want this stupid accident to impact my case.”

Eddie actually pauses for a second to look up at him. His face looks disbelieving, judgmental, confused and worried all in one. “Really?” he asks. “You’re bleeding out and you’re worried about your stupid case?”

“Yes!” Buck explodes. “That case isn’t stupid to me. I want my job back. I need my job back. Work means everything to me.”

“You’d rather bleed out than maybe impact your case?” Eddie says, obviously having an opinion about it, but continuing to work.

Angrily, Buck says: “Yes, okay. Yes. I’d rather you let me bleed out here, right now, then have another thing Bobby can use against me to not give me my job back. So stitch me up or just leave and I’ll do it myself. I survived a tsunami, I’m not going to break.”

If he’d had to describe it, he’d say it looks like Eddie has been slapped in the face by those words, which was the opposite of the plan. His eyes flick over to the knife, then Buck, then the onion, then the trail of blood to the kitchen, the knife again, then Buck again. Fucking shit, this going south too quickly.

Trying to end whatever thoughts Eddie is having and get them onto another topic, he clears his throat. Then he says: “Just stitch, man.”

For a second, it seems like Eddie is going to argue with him some more, but then he takes a deep breath and turns his professionalism nob on. They all do it, they all have it. Eddie right now isn’t on the job, just going to help a friend – something that would make Buck happier in different circumstances – and Eddie has been acting like it. Like a friend. Just now, he stopped doing it.

Eddie works silently and efficiently, not having a colleague to banter with. He finishes up Buck’s stitches on his calf, checks the thigh wound, which is luckily shallower than it could have been since the knife caught in the fabric for the most part. He fixes that up too, while he makes Buck take his own blood pressure, only upside from having a first responder as a patient.

When Buck informs him of his blood pressure, Eddie takes another deep breath. He puts the final bandages in place, then looks at Buck, studying him critically.

Involuntarily, Buck straightens up. He isn’t sure if it’s him trying to appear less blood loss-y than he is or if it’s just the response to Eddie’s gaze he always has. That need to appear cool, likable, put together.

“Alright,” Eddie finally breaks the silence, “no hospital. But only if you come home with me.”

A plethora of feelings go through Buck at that sentence, however, nothing he can identify stands out, except for good. Positive. It scares him a little. After the sudden ice bucket of these past few weeks, he can’t help but mistrust the gesture, no matter how much he wants to take it.

After a beat of silence from Buck that is too long for Eddie, he adds: “Promise I’ll keep it a secret so it won’t impact your case. Just come with me, so I can keep an eye on you. I’ll only call 911 if you pass out on me.” As extra enticement, he adds: “Christopher has been looking forward to your next visit, so he can kick your ass again with that game of his.”

An involuntary smile comes on Buck’s face at the mention of Christopher. That kid is his world and talking on the phone was good, but seeing him in person? That’ll be even greater. “Pinky promise?” he still asks, holding out his pinky.

“Really?”

“Come on, I know you want to,” Buck says, wiggling his pinky.

Eddie sighs, rolls his eyes and pinky promises.

“That’s the spirit!” Buck exclaims happily. He can almost pretend it feels like the old times. Not wanting to get stuck in that thought loop, he claps Eddie on the back and grins: “Come on, man, help me up. I’m injured over here.”

“Don’t remind me,” Eddie mutters under his breath as he helps him up, but it sounds fondly.

The two of them try keep up their usual chatter as they make their way to the car, though it’s a little stilted due to the lawsuit and Buck not being with them at work. So, they quiet down in the car.

It’s not until halfway through the drive that Eddie breaks that silence and asks: “So, what were you calling Christopher about anyway? He your witness?”

“Nah, man. No, of course not, I wouldn’t do something like that. Not to the two of you. Especially not behind your back,” Buck assures Eddie immediately. He cherishes the role he has in Christopher’s life so much, he doesn’t want to do anything to jeopardize it.

Eddie shoots him a weird look. “I know that, Buck. Just asking.”

“Oh, yeah. Course,” Buck says awkwardly. “I wanted to check in with him, you know. See how he was doing. Also…” he contemplates not saying this part, not admitting to something so pathetic, but it’s not like Eddie doesn’t know he’s pathetic already, no matter how much he wants to hide it.

“Also?” Eddie prompts.

“It’s embarrassing,” Buck chuckles humorlessly, “but without being allowed to talk to any of you, I don’t really have other friends to call. Chris was the only one available. Since it was his break and all when I called.” To wave away that mess, he quickly says: “Speaking off. Why isn’t Christoper at school today?”

“Buck. It’s Saturday.”

“It is?”

“Yeah. Look, are you good?” Eddie asks, his beautiful face – beautiful, what the hell, where did that come from? – now marred by a frown. “Cause I can still take you to the hospital.”

“No, hospital,” Buck glares at him. “I swear, I’m running if you pull up in that parking lot. I don’t care if it’s a hobble.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Eddie points out sharply.

“Sorry, what question?” Buck plays dumb, the one thing he’s good at.

“Are you good? Like, are you okay?”

“Of course I’m good,” Buck forces a laugh.

“Really?” Eddie asks, tone saying he doesn’t believe him. “Because I didn’t see anything in your kitchen except that onion and that knife.”

“There was also a cutting board.”

“Fine and the cutting board,” Eddie rolls his eyes. “All I’m saying, it didn’t look like you were cooking anything.”

“Oh like you would know, Mr. Burns Water. I was just starting with the onion.”

“I still don’t know if that’s how you cook.”

“Starting with an onion is important, ask Bobby. Besides, I never said I was a chef.”

“Fine, fine,” Eddie says, smile tugging at his lips. Buck is about to let out a small sigh of relief when that suddenly drops. They’ve pulled into Eddie’s driveway and the man turns at him, staring at him with those soulful eyes that are filled with concern: “All I’m saying, is that I’m here for you, if you do need to talk.”

“And I appreciate that, but I’m fine, I swear,” Buck lies, before finding his distraction. “Now, I see Christopher waiting to kick my ass. So I’m going to see my favorite Diaz until you stop being a mother hen. That’s not even your job, we’re the two reckless ones.”

“Alright,” Eddie smiles again, before he makes a big play out of being offended: “And how dare you, I should be your favorite Diaz.”

“Tsk, like you’ll ever have anything on my main man,” Buck says, throwing the door open as he does and speaking loudly so Christopher can overhear it.

“Buck!” Christoper exclaims excitedly and Buck returns it with the same enthusiasm. Fuck, he missed this. Missed this kid.

“Hey, you don’t need help walking there?” Eddie asks, having followed him out of the car.

Standing does hurt a little, but he doesn’t want Christopher to worry. Besides, it barely registers. He looks down for a second, then sends Eddie his most convincing grin: “Nah, man. Like I said, I’m fine.”

Then he flees inside where Christopher can act as a human shield for whatever other emotion filled conversation Eddie wants to have with him.

Buck isn’t sure what Eddie is thinking, probably won’t like it either. Sure, he wants people to worry, but he doesn’t want that to last. Just wants to worry them enough to show up, then they need to stop worrying, so he doesn’t become a burden. Eddie has worried enough, now Buck needs him to stop.

He doesn’t even know why Eddie of all people wants to have these conversations. They talk a lot, yeah, especially about the important stuff, but they also joke around, keep it light. And recently, they don’t talk at all.

It seems as if Eddie has done a complete one-eighty. Again. First he trusted Buck with Christopher even after losing him, then he didn’t want to speak with Buck at all, and now he’s forcing him into his home so he can keep an eye on him? It doesn’t make sense.

Buck doesn’t understand what buttons to push to make Eddie stay and which ones made him leave. He’s going to have to figure that out soon, because he wants to keep pushing the buttons that make Eddie stay. He can’t imagine what his life will be like if he permanently drives Eddie away.

Luckily, Christopher is the human shield Buck hoped he’d be and Eddie doesn’t start any more conversations. It also feels amazing to hang out with his friend again (and he doesn’t just mean Christopher). He needed this.

For weeks now, he’s felt useless, unneeded. Unloved. He’s been alone and being alone is dangerous when your mind works like Buck’s does. Today proved that much. However, because of who he is, this right here, bounces him right back.

Everything doesn’t catch back up with him until Christopher is put to bed and it’s just him and Eddie again.

Eddie comes back from putting Christopher down and plops down on the couch next to him. Buck expects him to turn on the TV or something like they usually do, but instead Eddie turns towards him and says: “Let me see your leg.”

“Come on, man, you know my bandages don’t need to be changed yet. You did them yourself, you know they’re good,” Buck complains, but complies anyway.

“I know,” Eddie answers as he inspects Buck’s leg carefully. “Just making sure you didn’t do anything idiotic and popped your stitches.”

“Eddie, I played video games on the couch with Chris, what could I have done?” Buck deadpans, a little annoyed, but also touched by the concern.

“I know,” Eddie says again, satisfied with his findings. Then he looks up at Buck with emotion filled eyes that Buck hates, because he did that to Eddie. “Just… every time I look away for a second, you seem to get hurt.”

Buck can feel his own eyes soften at that, bumping his shoulder and letting his leg rest across Eddie’s lap. “Hey, I’m okay, man. I swear. Just an accident.”

It doesn’t seem like Eddie believes him entirely, breaking the eye contact to look at the bandages again, probably remembering the wound underneath them. Buck is kinda glad he didn’t settle on stabbing himself in the leg, but that it was a genuine accident, because he doesn’t think he’d be able to explain it to Eddie otherwise. Or any of the others. Though mostly Eddie.

However, it is an accident and Eddie thankfully doesn’t want to fight Buck, because he looks back and smiles: “Yeah, okay. I’m just worried. Protective maybe.”

“Protective?” Buck repeats with faux-put upon-ness, grin firmly in place as he ignores the thrill that sends through him. “You are the one that needs protecting.”

“Oh really now?” Eddie grins back. “I think you got that turned upside down, Mr. Accident Prone. I am gonna keep my eye on you from now on.”

“God, I try to cook once and I never hear the end of it,” Buck groans, though it’s lighthearted.

“Next time, try cooking with supervision. I’m sure Bobby will be happy to teach you when you get your job back,” Eddie says, making sure to look Buck in the eye when he does.

It doesn’t escape Buck’s notice that he used when, not if. Maybe he finally has someone on his side again. Someone that gets it. Even if it’s just a little bit. Having that means the world to Buck, but he doesn’t know how to say that, not without it becoming a conversation again. And he desperately just wants to have this moment without it becoming a conversation.

Luckily, Eddie is on the same page about it, because he gently lowers Buck’s leg, before clapping him on the shoulder. “Let me get some sheets and a pillow so we can get you set up on the couch. I have a shift tomorrow, but I’m sure Christopher and Carla won’t mind the company.”

“Yeah, man, thanks,” Buck says, so grateful that Eddie isn’t kicking him out tomorrow, but letting him have this for a little while longer.

Buck can’t sleep after the tsunami. At least, not at home. At first he tried to push through, trying anything he could think off to get the rest he needed. Then he just gave up on sleep all together. However, here on the Diaz couch, with nothing else but the sounds of the house settling and the other two occupants being there, he sleeps soundly.

Now, he’s still in the middle of a lawsuit that has spiraled out of control so fast he doesn’t know exactly how he got into the mess. All he does know that when there is a mess he can call and Eddie will answer.

~~

A/N:

I contemplated having Buck open up, but it didn’t feel in character, but I do think Eddie knows a little more than Buck might want him to and he was serious about keeping an eye on Buck, hope that came across from Buck’s POV :D

[myartificialflowers]

I completely forgot to promote my fic here on tumblr but hey! that means if you find it here you'll have 5 chapters to read!

Summary: Buck hated hospitals. It made him think of his first date with Abby, of the truck bombing, of the embolism, of the tsunami. Just, a lot of bad memories, is all.

Which is why he had wanted to tell everyone so quickly. Just so he didn’t have to go to this appointment on his own. Last week he had gone alone, thinking it would be just another check up and then his doctor had looked at him with pity in his eyes and told him they’d found abnormalities in his blood work and they needed him to stop taking his blood thinners and come back in a week.

His doctor had been simultaneously vague and clear when he told him what they would be looking for. Listing all the possible reasons that his blood cell counts were off. But on that list was cancer and Buck knew that with his fucking luck, it would be that. The look on his doctor’s face made him think that he thought so too.

or

Buck had meant to tell everyone, he had, really. But they were angry with him and he didn't want them to forgive him just because he might be dying. He needed to fix things first.

[butraura]

Seven-Sentence Sunday

tagged by no one because no one asked for this akskjsjfh

 Every hair on the back of his neck stands at attention, his blood running cold. For the first time, Buck is afraid of Eddie.

 He quickly scrambles to his feet, backing up enough to create distance between the two of them, but not enough to run into anyone standing at the perimeter of the circle. “Eds,” he murmurs carefully, hands up at surrender as if dealing with live ammunition. 

 Calling him by his nickname was, perhaps, the wrong move.

 Eddie is up and lunges for Buck in what feels like a nanosecond. He grabs the fabric of his t-shirt and spins the two of them on their heels, throwing him up against a stack of tires. Buck ricochets off the rubber and stumbles forward. The cheers that were being yelled when Buck arrived have since gone mute. It’s so quiet now, Buck can hear how labored his breathing sounds. He regains his balance after only a moment, then attempts to stand straight, wilfully ignoring the pain searing in his back.

 “I’m not going anywhere, Eddie,” he promises. “I know I fucked up. But I can’t undo it, no matter how much I want to.”

 “Shut up,” the man spits, the first words he’s uttered since Buck arrived. It’s low and menacing.

 “Eddie, I-” Buck tries.

 “No.”

------

Tags: @watchyourbuck (I won't tag anyone else unless you ask lol shajhskdhf I want to be respectful)

This is a new WIP for a divorce-era fic; set to be either one long chapter or 2 shorter ones (I'm undecided). Also, this is my first post like this so idk, enjoy!

[evanbuckleyrecs]

Title: over the edge

Written by: adorkable_buddie

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)

Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)

Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Bobby Nash, Athena Grant, Maddie Buckley, Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Carla Price, Howie "Chimney" Han

Additional Tags: Suicide Attempt, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Mental Breakdown, Major Character Injury, Goodbyes, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst and Feels, Emotionally Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Post-Lawsuit (9-1-1 TV), Divorce Era, Worried Eddie Diaz, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, trigger warning, This story is NOT graphic, but may be triggering, So I've included the dead dove tag

Words: 5740

Summary

He inches slightly as he braces himself on the edge of the roof. He’s ready. More ready, maybe, than he’s ever been. The soles of his shoes are pressed flush to the wall of the building and his hands grip the course edge of the building. He looks down at the city commotion, then up at the Big Dipper constellation (the first one he could ever identify as a kid). He feels his heart finally slow down to an acceptably calm rhythm. He closes his eyes. He doesn’t feel anything anymore. He doesn’t hear anything.

He doesn’t hear the door the roof open, nor does he hear the blood-curdling scream behind him.

Or;

Buck has never felt so alone in his entire life. The noise and the hatred and pain is loud and he wants it to stop. So he decides to make it.

My notes: Please read the trigger warnings before reading!

I found this so beautifully written. I've often tried reading stories like this but I've never found one that was as good as this one. Realistic writing, had me on the verge of tears. If you're in need for some angst and these topics won't trigger you, I definitely recommend this one!

[p4nishers]

god the LAWSUIT!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING about it but ESPECIALLY that fucking HUG. oh my god. like. it literally plays on a never ending loop in my mind. the way buck is smiling SO HARD and literally CURLING into eddie, trying to basically melt into him and how eddie is PUSHING HIM AWAY. i cant get over that. how he allows himself probably 30 seconds to hug buck then he's like actually putting a physical distance between them. the SYMBOLISM of that alone. jesus. they were both so hurt back then and they couldn't even talk to each other. the fact that THAT hurt eddie the most, not being able talk to buck, to see buck. "now i can't even talk to you because of it" "do you know how much christopher misses you?" bc he's always hiding behind chris when he's trying to hold back his actual feelings. god GOD im obsessed with all of it. how it was like made completely clear that what buck did hurt eddie the most. bc of course it did. "i just want you to talk to me". "whatever it takes for you to forgive me–" "i forgive you". can i just mention again: THE HUG. its simultaneously the worst and best buddie hug. i want to vomit every time i think about it. ill never stop talking about that arc. ever.

[anxiousgayseeksvalidation]

If the couch era and shooting eta aren’t good for anything else, at least they’ve pushed the fandom and fanfics to FINALLY move on from the goddamn lawsuit era😭🙌🏻

[fionaswhvre]

Exhausting

Even from a non-buddie POV, I still don't understand why Eddie called Buck "exhausting"?? Why was he this bothered over this weird co-dependent, father son fight Buck and Bobby were having?? Chim and Hen were also interrogated by the lawyer but they were quick to move on and even took Buck's side in front of Eddie and Bobby.

So why did Eddie use the word "exhausting" specifically for Buck? Especially since they're best friends and Eddie probably knows Buck's insecurities of being too much for the people he loves.

I think Eddie knew even before Buck told him that the only reason he literally sued the department to get his job back because he felt like he had nothing else in his life. And only a few days ago, Eddie told Buck that he trusted his son the most with him, essentially telling him that he needs him. Eddie is not used to this kind of vulnerability with anyone, not even Shannon. So when he opens himself up to Buck, that is when Buck decides to sue the department and thus, cutting out Eddie and Christopher out of his lives without any explanation to them.

Eddie told Buck that he is enough. That he sees him. And Buck still thinks that the only thing that matters in his life is his job. It's the only thing that makes him worthy of love. Not being himself like Eddie and Christopher tried to show him.

Hence, Buck feels exhausting to Eddie.

[emotional-witch620]

I just had an idea for a 9-1-1 fic!

So you know about Buck feeling replaced by Bosko during the lawsuit era, how she was Eddie’ partner, etc.

Well I just realised that Diaz and Donato are kinda the same. And I know it’s not a world-stopping realisation but what is interesting is that the tapping over the name on the locker could have happened here too! After all they share the first letter of their last name just like Buck and Bosko did.

And I think a fic about Eddie seeing his name tapped over with Lucy’s name would have great emotional potential. We could have Buck’s reaction to Eddie’s obvious hurt over this and him being like “you didn’t react when it was MY name replaced by Bosko’s”. And they could talk about how the lawsuit was mainly Buck feeling replaced and abandoned by his family. And Eddie acting like he was having the divorce he didn’t have the time to have with Shannon. Just… emotions all over.

Ideally it would end in Buddie but that’s just my heart talking.

P.S.: My own writing always comes out a little bit too crack-ish for this idea to work with my writing style. So, if someone wants to uses this prompt to write their own fic, feel free to do so. I only ask for a message so I can know to read it.

[justsmilestuffhappens]

Prompt: Post-lawsuit Buck is left totally out of the loop. One day Bobby invites everyone to his house for a bbq, except for Buck. Eddie makes some snide comments and it's the last straw as Buck gets in his face. However, instead of yelling at Eddie, Buck just looks completely shattered as he says " I should have died under that truck, you all would have still been my family then." Everyone is stunned and horrified as Buck then runs off. A terrified and remorseful Eddie and firefam go after him

Okay, so you never replied privately to me after I made that post last night to talk, and I can't blame you there because coming off anonymous can probably be hard to do sometimes, I get that. But.

I haven't done prompts from others in a very long time and don't see that changing anytime soon. Got burned a few times before, even with the nice ones I got sent also. Any prompts sent here probably won't get done. Lack of motivation and time sucks really bad.

This is a great prompt and really made me gasp because of the line alone. While the lawsuit arc is constantly used, this hurt and felt kinda new in that sense.

On the bright side I thought this was cool and should get written but it's not going to be me who writes it though. I was going to ask if it was okay to pass it around because I liked it so much and if you'd like to send it to other prompt blogs or writers who are taking suggestions.

Please do send this to others because while I'm not maybe somebody else is willing to or has the time and motivation for it or just check back and make sure they're accepting prompts and understand that simply because they've done them before they aren't guaranteed to now. People and circumstances can change. I don't do prompts anymore and haven't written any in a good while.

I hope you have a great day, and I'm gonna go show this around because wow, do I know others would like it too.

[ghost-in--the-room]

Does anyone know of a fic where Buck is friendly with Eddie from the start. Not one where they knew each other before but friendship (or love) at first sight. If not here are some ideas in case anyone want to write something like it:

The insecurities Buck feels are directed at Bobby instead of Eddie as Bobby never told the team (him) that they are hiring new people. This makes buck feel neglected and seen as unimportant.

Eddie feeling of balance (in the good way) when presented with the golden retriever of a man.

Then getting whiplash when Buck gives Bobby the cold shoulder.

Trying to like his new boss but can't when buck keeps looking like a kicked puppy.

Some things happening earlier/differently due to the lack of hostility.

Like Buck playing one sided twenty questions and finding out about Chris.

Buck realising that he doesn't want to be ignored by Abby and find out about her through other people (mirroring Bobby's action)

(maybe Buck was rambling thinking no one was listening only for Eddie to bring it up later and releasing Abby never did that)

because they don't have to explain Bucks behaviour, maybe Buck tells Eddie about Abby or maybe he is never told about her.

Buck confiding in Eddie because he's not "part of the team" yet (like he doesn't have the same bias towards buck as the rest)

Bobby's line about not having to go back into the ambulance hurts as a lack of faith in buck now that he hasn't been trying to one up Eddie.

Eddie pushing Bobby towards how to reconnect with Buck without breaking Bucks confidence or explaining to Buck Bobby's reasons without devaluating Buck's feelings.

I'd also love to see some moments of Buck helping Eddie without realising he's helping or how much.

I'd also love to see the knock on effects this would have on the rest of the story.

Feel free to talk to me about this I would love to think on this idea some more!