#bucks someone who processes and accepts things about himself pretty quickly

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Oh Oliver Oliver Oliver how I love thee!!

In flux you say

Dealing with changes you say

Velocity you say

A lot of possibility you say

So many most excellent things all in one answer!

Flux and change in the same sentence is so interesting and telling on several fronts (and not just Eddie’s moustache!). It’s very loudly saying bt bones sooner rather than later, but it’s also suggesting some things going down at the firehouse and maybe with Bobby (the working together during the plane emergency was very much giving me calm before a storm vibes) which I’m excited to see as I think it will be fabulous for Bucks development both personally and professionally. But it’s also giving me changes with Eddie vibes - and on a couple of fronts - the Christopher front, and the personal front.

The use of velocity is an interesting choice - when you think Bucks been stuck on that hamster wheel for so long and then got off one to land on another, the fact we’re now talking velocity is pretty interesting! It’s very much suggesting we’re going to get a huge amount of buck set up stuff in the next couple of episodes - on multiple fronts. So btw bones obviously, which I’m expecting to trigger some soul searching and figuring out - that his bisexual awakening has triggered buck knowing himself more than he ever has before but that Tommy has been holding him in stasis and as soon as he’s gone it will actually catapult him forward quite dramatically.

I mean velocity is giving me feelings for Eddie realisation vibes, but then, because I think in 806 Eddie is going to shave the stache off and then head off to Texas to try to fix things with Chris, things settling down for buck for a little bit makes a lot of sense to me. In combination with ‘a lot of possibility’ and the concept of ‘next step’ and Oliver being excited to see where ‘the story goes in the not to distant future’ it’s very much giving buck sort of pining era vibes. Eddie being physically gone (and working on his own stuff which I expect to take 2 episodes at most) giving buck some processing space would be great to watch - especially if we are shown them being in contact by phone and video chat etc. As the audience we’d get to see Buck actively knowingly in love whilst not being able to act on it - Oliver obviously wouldn’t know yet how that initial pining era is going to go from there because it would take us through to 808 - which is what they’re finishing up right now, so it’s all set up to be exciting because Eddie will then return and Chris will be back (he better or I will be protesting at the studio!) so focus will shift to that aspect for an episode or so, and we’ll have fully pining buck who’s also delighted Chris is back and that leads to a cliffhanger mid season on the will they won’t they front!

I can see it all so clearly and I’m very here for it please and thank you

[akaashisbabygirl]

camboy part two

authors note: hehe i decided to leave you all on a cliffhanger once again. if you haven’t read part one i suggest you do so! i think my tags are working again so hopefully this can be seen in tags!! i’m sorry that i took forever to post this, i’ve been really busy :( now, if you would like a part three let me know!

words: 1840

pairings: camboy!akaashi x female!reader

warnings: NSFW, male vibrator use, female and male masturbation, mentions of sex toys, reader gets sad, akaashi gets sad, kinda angsty, leaves you on a cliffhanger

part one 

“so...” akaashi’s voice spoke into the microphone sitting on the desk, “thank you all for your suggestions. i’m going to be taking them into consideration for my next video.”

he quickly turned off the microphone, stopping everything he was doing to check out the list of items people had suggested for him to use in his next stream.

a harness, blindfold, handcuffs?? he didn’t know how much that would work. he’d have to find a way to restrain himself without having to call someone else to do it for him. that would be tricky. some viewers even suggested he used some sex toys such as a vibrator because they wanted to see what akaashi would look like squirming and overstimulated. or some even suggested that he were to edge himself, not letting himself cum just yet. cat ears, a harness? the things people were suggesting to him made him really interested to see just how far they wanted him to go. maid outfit? he chuckled.

it would’ve been next to impossible for akaashi to hide all the clothing items from you, his roommate, the one person he has definite feelings for. he couldn’t just keep some women outfits in his closet - you would believe he has a girlfriend who you didn’t know about. and if you felt the same way about him, you would be upset with the fact that he never told you about being in a relationship.

he shivered to these thoughts. which is why akaashi kept the idea of just getting the simple items - cat ears, harness, a skirt, sex toys etc. at least he wouldn’t need to try and hide them from you.

if you had found akaashi’s secret sex toy stash on accident - he knew you would probably just brush it off, considering you know him and his hormones, and knowing he wasn’t taken by anyone, there really wasn’t anyone to fuck.

you see, akaashi isn’t the type of person who is interested in one night stands. yes, he had lost his virginity before his ex girlfriend, which he regrets very much. but now, akaashi was a grown man. he was out there looking for a relationship that he wanted to last for a long time, a relationship where he can properly love the person for more than just the sex.

a relationship that he wanted to build with you.

he left his room quickly as he heard the door shut, signalling that you were back home. he was excited to see you, yet, he hid his excitement from you.

“can you help me?” you asked, pouting softly. akaashi chuckled, grabbing some of the heavy bags from your hands, setting them down on the kitchen bench.

a soft pink blush spread across your face. he was so big compared to you, and you liked it. you felt so small next to akaashi, so tiny and adorable. and you know he liked that too - akaashi feels that he can be able to protect you because you’re smaller than him, but that’s just how he feels.

the next day, akaashi was out early to leave for work. the apartment felt cold and empty when you had woken up to the painful sight of the sun shining too brightly into your eyes. it would be one of those days which you had gotten used to overtime, where you would spend all day at home on your own, waiting for akaashi to walk back in through those doors once more. you waited, and waited, thinking of things to do could seem to make time move faster than it had previously.

by noon, you were sitting on your bed, laptop in your lap as you scrolled through your work, submitting it to your manager before he yelled at you. you sighed softly, in desperate need for a break. that’s when the idea popped into your head, to check if he had uploaded. seeing that he had, you smiled greatly. a smile of relief had sprouted over your soft cheeks. you slipped your sweatpants down, watching how the man sat on the screen, his cock already hard and noticeable in his boxers.

you almost drooled at the sight of his cock. it was pretty. if that was even a proper way to describe it. you watched as the man took his erect cock from his boxers, thinking about how it would fit inside of you. he was bigger than what you had seen and taken before, but he was the only man who made you drool to the thought of what it would be like inside of you. how your cunt would feel sucking him in, how he’d hit those spots inside of you that you could barely reach with your own fingers. you’d let him fuck you over and over again until you’d become dumb and unable to think properly, drooling all over the white bedsheets of your bed.

soft fingers rubbed your clit, tracing around your folds before finally slipping a finger into your wet hole. a hand clamped over your mouth quickly to try and surpass your moans as your hips bucked up for more friction. you chased after that one feeling that made you lose control every time, the feeling that had your legs shaking and eyes rolling to the back of your head. moans slipped forcefully from your lips, a wave of pleasure spreading quickly throughout your body from the feeling of your fingertips desperately trying to reach that one spot inside of you which always sent you over the edge. 

however, what you didn’t know was that akaashi was in the apartment. his jaw had dropped quickly while hearing a moan slip from your lips. without having to look into a mirror to see his painful expression, akaashi could tell a tear had fallen down his cheek. he felt as if he was tied down to the ground by some invisible shackles, keeping him in place, forcing him to accept the reality that he did not want to accept. he didn’t want to stand there and listen to some guy fuck you, he didn’t want to hear you moan for that man, praise them and give them all your attention. selfishly, akaashi wished it were him. 

slowly, akaashi made his way out of the apartment, locking the door behind him. he rushed to bokuto’s, planning to send you a message saying that he would be at work late. it was only because he was too scared to see you right now, akaashi was too afraid to see you. he didn’t want to see your fucked out expression. he didn’t want to see the man or whoever was making you feel this good. 

and so he left. 

when akaashi arrived home that night, he acted as if nothing had happened - and so did you. it made akaashi mad, knowing that he had clearly heard something going on in your bedroom earlier that day, but he didn’t want to sound like a jealous idiot and bring it up. which is why he chose to keep his feelings to himself as he sat beside you, watching the stupid rom com on the tv. he hated the fact that he felt as if his feelings were twisted into a tight knot that he couldn’t untie. there was so much love for you filling his heart that he could’ve sworn that at any minute his own heart would combust from the anxiety which danced around his mind. 

akaashi knew that he needed to get a new video out, his fans were growing desperate and he was needing the money. he waited patiently until you had left the house, before locking the door to his room, changing up his setting to the camboy’s room. 

time passed and quickly moans were spilling from his lips, his hips bucking up as his hands grasped desperately into the bedsheets. he chose today to incorporate a toy, a vibrator specifically, yet, he didn’t know that this much pleasure would spread through his body. he blushed from how he was moaning, he was so desperate, so subby even. he felt dirty, overstimulated from the way the toy was making him feel. his eyes rolled to the back of his head as another orgasm washed over him, his fucked out body falling to the sheets after taking the small toy away from his length. 

he waited until his body filled with some energy before he got up from his spot on the bed, moving to turn his camera off. he quickly changed his sheets, accidentally forgetting to put his skirt away, before passing out underneath the sheets of his bed.

you smiled, seeing akaashi in his bed fast asleep. you could tell he was in a deep slumber from the way he clung to his bedsheets, not even moving a muscle. you adored the sleeping boy. 

“he must’ve worked himself too hard today” you thought, knowing that akaashi never falls asleep unless he’s exhausted.

how you wished that you could go over to him and kiss his forehead, telling him to sleep well, or even that you could get into bed, wrapping your arms around him and falling asleep with his back to your chest. there’s so much you wanted to do, but akaashi wasn’t your boyfriend, so it wasn’t going to happen. 

you grabbed your washing form the bathroom, a pale blue skirt catching your eye in the process. this wasn’t your skirt. who’s was it? your eyes widened and your jaw dropped, almost swearing that tears began to bombard your eyes as your mind came to realisation.

akaashi has a girlfriend.

you left the skirt there, pretending as if you had never seen it. however, the thoughts of akaashi being with someone else made you feel sick. soon enough, you were also curled up under the sheets of your bed. 

days had passed, yet the thought of akaashi having a girlfriend didn’t leave your mind. you wondered what she was like. how pretty is she? how tall is she? what is her hair colour? what’s her style? or in general; what does she look like? you couldn’t find a part of your mind that wasn’t thinking about this as you made your way back to the apartment. you felt sick, almost anxious even being there. you felt scared, scared that you would run into the girl who had crushed your dreams of being with akaashi.

opening the front door to the apartment, you heard a loud cry coming from akaashi’s room. his door was slightly spread open, screams and moans coming from there. you didn’t care about the moans, why was akaashi screaming? rushing to his room, you shoved the door open.

but what you saw wasn’t what you expected.

“akaashi...” you noticed the familiar set up to the way the cam boy has. the bed, the walls, even the pretty skirts, some of the toys he’s brought out before sitting on the bed beside him, “what are you doing?” 

© all content belongs to akaashisbabygirl 2021, do not repost or change

[lovesanmotion]

Take Me Home - San

| This is a thank you gift from me to you upon reaching 200 followers! I do recall someone telling me to create San’s mafia story into a shot and promised that I would post it in the near future that is today. Hopefully you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed making this as nasty as possible! ♥ 

He wasn’t yours to begin with. Hell, he was once yours. A childhood friend that blossomed into something more, however, didn’t exactly end up just like the fairytales. He confessed his love for you at 18 to which you reciprocated, upon telling the news to your family, their reaction shocked you. 

As the youngest child in the household, it was your duty to serve your parents until their death. That being said, you cannot settle down until your parents have left this world and the only person spared to this tradition is none other than your older sister. You felt like your world was falling apart when your parents asked San to marry your older sister - to which he agreed. 

It’s as if you two were back to square one again, completely ignoring one another and acting as if you both are strangers who didn’t share memories and moments together. It was painful seeing San inside your home, but it was more painful seeing your older sister walk down the isle with him. The days seemed longer and the nights grew shorter, you were already expecting a heir from them now that they are married, but a child never came. 

It was shameful for your older sister’s part not to bear any child. With the shame, insecurity and guilt she was feeling her once beautiful and curvy figure bulked up until her once beautiful curves were nothing more than accumulated fat stored in her body. Your parents now being ashamed to even look at your older sister. 

However for you, life’s still the same. But you met this guy named Jung Wooyoung, a businessman who runs a couple of businesses with his best friend and is pretty successful in his early twenties. After going out on a couple of dates with him, you were finally dating, but in secret. 

During the dead of the night, you’d escape through your window for long night drives with Woo, he’d deliver gifts secretly to you to which you would hide in your closet and exchange long, promising letters of loving each other until death do you two apart. Your once depressed vibe was replaced by a radiant glow within you. Your older sister clearly growing jealous of you and San being aware of your little rendevous with Wooyoung. 

San ached to be with you once more. He couldn’t stand the older sister, he wanted you. The only reason why he accepted the proposal from your parents is to be able to get closer to you, even if it meant marrying someone he didn’t love. It isn’t that your older sister is capable of bearing a child, he just kept adding drugs on her drinks so that a child wouldn’t be a result. He didn’t love her and would never bring himself to love the child that he made with her. 

It took him every fiber in his body not to storm into your room and keep you there, not letting you leave to meet a guy you just met. He hated how this new guy was doing things with you that he once could do with you. He felt like a prisoner trapped in a cell, watching his lover be freely do anything she pleases. 

When the luncheon came into place, he felt ashamed to even introduce him as your older sister’s husband. He hated looking at her, resulting him into not even sparing her glance, to which your older sister cried for how many days. He was growing tired of her, to be honest. The only reason he is holding is the fact that he gets to see you and be with you in one mansion. 

San was the first to arrive at the luncheon hall. It was another boring meeting wherein these men would talk about how is the investments flowing in each sector and city, which men to deploy for these jobs and more importantly, to talk about the “heir” that was suppose to take over that he wished not to talk about. 

His deep thoughts were interrupted as the wooden doors swung open and revealed you. Seeing you made him feel like it was his first time meeting you. His eyes stayed on you, watching as you pull your chair and take a seat, your hair flowing down to your shoulders like a waterfall. Oh how he missed you. 

“Isn’t your seat here, Y/N?” He spoke up, speaking your name tasted foreign in his mouth now. His eyes watched as your eyes widened and quickly left where you sat and moved besides him, purposefully extending his legs out in front so that you would have to cross him. And when you did, he had a good view of your ass. 

Not being able to control himself anymore, he placed his hands on top of your cheeks, running his palms smoothly on the surface of your skirt. “Don’t you miss me, Y/N?” He asks, your body slightly leaning forward to the table. “Because I do miss you. You think I didn’t know how you would get up at night and meet Wooyoung?” He smirks, lifting your skirt up, his eyes glowing at the sight of the black lace thong. “You should’ve made a background check on him, Y/N. I’ve known Woo for years already and he’s not the type to settle down to one woman. You think you’re the only woman he does those things with you? You should meet his five other women.” He chuckles darkly, removing the lace underwear down to your ankles before cupping your warm and supple pussy in his hand. 

“It’s always been you, Y/N. Do you know what I have to do just to get closer to you? I married your older sister so I could at least be around you and see you everyday.” Leaning down to place a soft kiss on your left cheek before plunging two fingers into your warm hole. “And you look so beautiful as always. I love you, Y/N.” San whispers as he pushes and pulls his fingers into you, cock twitching with excitement and his free hand slipping under your shirt and bra, fondling your breasts. His fingers lingering on your nipple, making you gasp slightly as he pinched the soft nub. You gasp loudly as he roughly squeezes your sex, his fingers slipping inside of you, making you moan louder as he caress your g spot with his middle finger. 

What is this? What is happening? You couldn’t think straight and process what was suddenly happening. But you wanted to kiss San. As if sensing your desire, he stood up and placed a hand under your chin, turning your head to face him. His tongue slides inside your mouth, breathing deeply and savoring the moment. Just when you think that you it would only be the two of you, you hear the wooden floor creak, pulling your lips away to look at the door in horror. However, no one came in. 

“Focus on me.” San whispers, removing his fingers out of your hole and lifting you up on the table, pushing your legs wider before taking a seat, hooking his arms underneath your thighs. 

“I’m gonna eat well!” San grins before leaning his head down and diving into your pussy. Tongue lapping through your folds, nibbling them and sweetly sucking your juices. Two fingers circling your clit and gradually increasing the pressure and pleasure. Sucking on the nub and using his tongue to move all around your entrance, all the while knowing that its gonna make you squirt...again and again. 

The thrill of being caught and having San bury his face onto your pusy felt amazing. 

Soon, your skin shivers and moan his name. 

“Damn, Sannie, damn...you are so good at this” 

Feeling his tongue trail along your slit, you feel as if your skin was one mass of nerve endings. It hurts, but it feels good. 

His cock, of course, is more massive. Tasting like juicy peach, but more firm, thicker and longer. 

His shaft glistened with your juices and you know how much you both wanted this. Watching as his cock slip and disappear inside your pussy. 

“So tight and sweet and wet” He grunts as he forcefully moves in and out of your hole, fingers digging through the skin of your skin. 

“Oh God” he groans, slowly pulling himself out, only to slam himself back inside. 

“So fucking tight. And all mine.” He whispers, snapping his hips into yours as his mouth fastens onto your neck, leaving red and purple marks all over your skin. Arching your back as he groans into your neck, placing his hands on your shoulders and pinning you down on top of the dining table with a force that made you barely breathe. 

“I’m gonna cum” you whispered, bucking your hips up to meet his every thrusts. 

He grabbed your hips harshly and suddenly the speed increased and your need to cum increased. His thrusts became frantic as you felt his cock throb and finally his cum filling you up. You writhed and bucked as he continued to thrust and thrust until you were spent and breathless. 

He watched your face, eyes searching you as his hair falls to the front of his face, covering his eyes. His tongue back inside and flicking your lips. You kissed him back, tongues tangling together while his dick pulsing and tensing while being coated with your cum. 

“I ate well” He murmured against your ear before helping you clean up. Eloping and never returning back. 

[eyoricka]

Pete’s assistant - Pete Davidson

Words: 2160

Warning: 2 curse words

Requested: yes

You had been Pete’s assistant for many years now. You had begun as an intern at NBC and that’s how you met Pete. The two of you immediately clicked, there was like a strange bond between you like you always knew each other or were meant to meet, to work together. So at the end of your internship, Pete asked you if you wanted to be his assistant, to help him with pretty much everything. He wasn’t famous enough to really have a publicist, so you also fill up this role. It was funny at first. Pete was nice to you, never asking for anything impossible to get. Contrary to many other celebs with their assistant, he treated you like his equal. Planning interviews was something you enjoyed, he was mostly in some presented by his friends, so it was pretty chill, and you learnt so much. You let Pete took charge of his social media presence, he was more than okay at it, was natural and able to create a connection with his fans.

However, at some point everything changed. Pete got way bigger, he was famous like really famous, not just known by SNL and stand-ups afficionados.  Things got out of hand quickly. You still liked to work for Pete, he was still adorable to you but handling negative comments, the infamous song about him, people reactions and the repercussions on his mental health was a nightmare. You had too much to think about: to make sure he was feeling okay or at least not too bad, to make sure he would sleep, eat, not take too much drugs, go to work, go outside, try to stop the continuous harassment… Pete hired a publicist to take some weight out of your shoulders and have someone who would focus only on his impacted public image. Even though, Pete was probably at rock bottom, it was nice to see that he would still be kind to you, trying to smile a bit when you were ding your best to cheer him up.

And this is how the problems began for you. You knew the rule number one of any assistant: never fall for your boss. But you couldn’t help it. You had always loved his personality however you never considered having feelings for him. However, seeing him hurt, fragile but still caring about his close circle, still trying his best everyday for people he loved, still being nice when he could easily be an ass and take the heartbreak as an excuse, was enough to make you acknowledged that maybe you wanted to be more than a friend to him.

You decided to keep your emotions for yourself. You didn’t want to make a fool of yourself or lose your job and friend for feelings that would never be reciprocated. To forget about them, you went on dates with several people, it was a failure. Every time you could stop yourself from comparing your date with Pete. Even if some people were funny enough, smart enough, kind enough, they were simply not enough. A date with them was pleasant but you couldn’t picture more, and it would be cruel to force a relationship with someone you didn’t have feelings for just to hide your current crush. So after some dates you gave up on the idea of finding someone for the moment and preferred to take time for yourself. As the year went on, you were the witness of Pete’s different and non-working relationships. You were happy for him, truly. He was able to move on which was great and he felt more like himself. But it still hurt to see him get far too involved in relations that were doomed to fail. He was too intense and passionate for his own good. You advised him to follow your example and take time for himself, to love himself and understand what he wanted, needed from a partner. Surprisingly, he did it and it did good on him.

A few months later, you were at a small gathering to celebrate Pete’s Netflix comedy special. The reviews were good, and the audience was following, it was great to watch Pete’s career on track to success, he would finally be recognized for his art. You were talking to Dave about the process of writing when you are down and how cathartic humor is. You glanced distractedly several times in Pete’s direction confident that you were discreet. As your drink was empty, you scanned the room to find the nearest bottle of a beverage you like. Your eyes met Colson’s ones and he grinned mischievously at you. You rose an eyebrow wondering why he looked like a devious elf and quickly manage to appease your thoughts, rationalizing that it was only Colson being his drunk and high self.  

As you made your way to the counter full of bottles to pour you a glass, you felt two hands clapped your shoulders. You turned promptly and faced Colson who was smirking even wider.

“What do you want?” You asked not surprised by his presence but cautious about what he was about to say.

“Well just to chat with a lovely assistant, it has been a while since we haven’t talk.” He replied sweetly, an innocent smile replacing his smirk and you understood fully well why so many girls were crazy about him.

“Cut the crap” You deadpanned, not in the mood for his banter.

“I still wonder why I try to sugarcoat things with you” he mumbled certainly more for himself. After some long seconds of silence, he let out in a charming voice: “Don’t you think that would be the perfect night?”

You weren’t sure of what he was implying. He liked flirting but you seriously doubt that he was since he would never cross that border, maybe he was just bored or wanted to tease you. You didn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer that would fuel his joust.

“You don’t ask me the perfect night for what?” He added kind of amused by your lack of reaction. “Well I will tell you anyway because else it wouldn’t be funny. So my dear don’t you think it would be the perfect night to admit your badly hidden feelings for you know who.”

You gulped at those words. You attempt to come back with a witty, chill repartee that would show that you were diverted by this non-sense and not knowing about what he was talking about, but your mind was blank. You were sure that tonight before sleeping while your mind would replay this scene, you would think of many clever replies.

“Still no answer, I bet that this time it is not for the same reason, right” Colson joked, and you cursed yourself.

“I just don’t understand what you mean” you eventually managed to say, cringing at this lame attempt to act cool.

“Your blushing cheeks and stiff body are telling the opposite” Nice even your own body was now betraying you.

“I get that you are bored Colson and even if it would probably be the funniest thing of your night, I don’t plan on becoming the biggest idiot of the party for your entertainment. I know Pete doesn’t like me and it is okay, you can’t control someone’s feelings and…”

“I hope you realize that you already are the biggest idiot of the night” He cut you “and Pete is too. I can’t get my head around the fact that you are both blind, incapable of seeing the way the other looks at you. Shshshsh don’t reply, don’t want to waste my time on hearing you tell me that I am lying, imagining stuffs, and complaining about my behavior, I‘ve already had this long speech from Pete. You can do whatever you want, go tell him or don’t but just know that you don’t risk much. And don’t count on him to come, he is sure he has no chance. So please have the balls for the both you.” He was about to leave you there with many contradictory thoughts filling your head when he leaned to whisper: “But really please do tell him tonight, I bet some bucks with John that you would be the brave one, don’t prove me wrong.”

You nudged him and he burst out of laughter as you showered him with imaginative curses. You decided to sit few minutes just to take time to reflect. You needed to process what you just heard. If indeed had feelings for you, things would change drastically. You felt yourself slowly but surely drifting into panic. A part of your brain was screaming that it was lies maybe because it was easier to accept than the truth. You had dreamt of this but it was a dream and you weren’t sure that you were ready for that right now. Intrusive thoughts were running in your head defeating your ounce of rationality and calm. One of your hand was clenched on your drink firmly and you closed your eyes while inhaling and exhaling to relax yourself. From the outside you certainly looked crazy but you didn’t care, it didn’t even crossed your mind.

You were so focused on your breath that you didn’t notice someone siting next to you and neither feel this person hand on yours. When you opened your eyes, you detect that you were no longer alone and the person with you was none other than Pete. He softly smiled at you and you felt like dying inside, this smile was enough to make you forget any doubts, anything, to appease. You smiled back at him kindly. He seemed to be struggling to say something and you took the lead.

“I guess that Colson talks to you too, huh?” You questioned, your voice was a bit shaking and you had eaten half of your words however you knew that he had understood you.

“Kind of” he stated and your next words died in your throat, you were losing your confidence. Those tow simple words held a clear message: yes we talk but no I don’t like you. “Actually, John did most of the talking” he joked or at least try to. He was also way to stress to really be funny.

You wanted to say something, to admit what was consuming you inside nevertheless you were scared, you refuse to be too blunt on this. You had to be subtle, to find a way to make him realize but without saying it, so if the feelings were not reciprocal it would not be too awkward.

“Colson mentioned a bet on us” You hid your reddening face behind your drink and casually take a sip or at least as casually as you can considering your current position.

“I heard about it too” His fingers were drumming against his tights in nervousness. “I am kind of bother by it you see.” You nodded, you felt crushed inside, of course he would be bothered, who would not be bothered to be shipped with someone they don’t have feelings for. You did everything you could to remain still and not crack, not now, not in front of him, of his friends. “I don’t really any of them to get this money like I guess I want them to be right, but I don’t like them betting on us”. You blinked several times not sure if you were on the same page. “I am not very clear, I am? Well obviously, I am not, I have never been very clear in those situations. Maybe clearer than now, because now what I am saying is a mess, well normally it is confused but understandable. And I am rambling right now and I don’t even know why. Maybe because it is intimidating, like we know each other for so long and what I am saying is that it is different.”  

He had lost you with his confused sentences, was he trying to reject you or the contrary. You wanted a certain answer, not an interpretation based on a wrong reading of the situation, actually you did not want this answer, you needed it. He was still digressing when you took the courage to interrupt him: “Pete please listen to me okay.” He shut up and looked at you in the eyes, sort of hanging of the words you would pronounce. “I like you Pete and not like I like Ricky or John, I mean not like a friend. Do you understand?”

There were few awfully long seconds of silence before you felt Pete’s forehead against yours and his hands on yours. “Fuck, you are a lot better at verbalizing this than I am” He smiled brightly, he was so beautiful when he was happy. “Can I kiss you?” He asked still quite unsure and you gently pressed your lips against his. It was a short and sweet kiss, the kind that promise wonderful tomorrows full of love, full of life.

[all1e23]

Bad Habit [Pt.1]

Pairings: Biker!Steve x Reader

Series warnings:  Drug use. Violence. Smut so 18+ please and thank  – No smut this chapter. Sorry to disappoint

A/N:   Part 1! 800 years later. I’m doing my best to get my wips finished by the end of the year so fingers crossed I actually do so. Un-beta’d. So, uh, yeah. Be prepared for that. 

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!****

Two weeks it’s been since his mystery girl came into his life, and Steve hadn’t seen or heard from her since she bolted out of the clubhouse’s front door before the sun had cleared the trees. At the time, Steve was disappointed. He had plans. There was a burning need for waffles and bacon and syrup covered kisses, the exchange of numbers, or the very least names and a plan for next time. All those wants quickly evaporated along with the dust those tires kicked up during the hasty getaway. In hindsight, it was probably for the best that morning played out as it did. If Bucky had been there to witness a girl running from his room at first light, he would never hear the end of it. Before the day was out, Bucky would have the whole clubhouse believing he ran another girl off. Thankfully, the only person to catch the escape was Sam, and he was doing everything he could to convince Steve to forget about it. Sam told him nothing good came from chasing a girl that didn’t want to be chased, but Steve has this feeling in his gut, this time wasn’t like before. 

Whoever you were, you were different. 

Maybe you had him under some sorta spell, and that was why he couldn't forget you. It would explain a lot. You captivated him from the moment you stepped into the bar, and he still saw stars long after you ran out the front door and out of his life. He never really stood a chance if he was honest with himself; Steve knew he was in trouble from the first glance. Two things were apparent right off the bat, you were going to be a handful, and it would be hard, if not impossible, to earn your love. Still, Steve chased after you like a novice sailor following a siren’s melody. He had no problem admitting he was willing to follow you out to the middle of the ocean only to find himself unable to swim in the dark waters you lived in.

In the past, Steve had a bad habit of falling too fast, loving quick and fierce. You would be his last. He just had a feeling things would go his way this time--if he could find you. 

As much as he wanted to see you again, he didn’t have any idea how to make that happen. He didn’t even know your name and had no idea where to start looking for you. Hell, he didn’t even know if you lived in Brooklyn. For all, he knew this could have been a stop on your way home where you already had someone waiting on you. All he had was the necklace you gave him, and that was a dead-end. It was just a one-night stand. He should toss the chain in a drawer and put that night behind him. Most men like him would. They would move on to the next girl and forget you existed. Steve, though, he’s stubborn (so says Bucky), and it’s a good thing he is because it’s always worked in his favor. 

Steve ran his thumb over the gold pendant resting against his chest and grinned as he watched you move around behind the bar. 

The one place he would have never thought to look. 

"Well, I'll be damned,” Steve whispered to himself, still watching as you talked and laughed with customers. 

Natasha mentioned she hired a new girl he hadn’t met yet a few nights ago, but without knowing his siren’s name, there was no way he could have connected the two. He had no idea that this Y/n was his Y/n. Now that he found you, he only had to get past the high walls you built up around your heart.

Steve parted the worn red leather stools to make room for him to lean against the polished wood, drumming his fingers impatiently along the bar top waiting for you to finish up with the man you were serving at the far end and finally notice him. You gave the stranger in dark brown leather a high squeaky laugh in return for the lousy pick-up line he threw at you. It wasn’t the same laugh, Steve knew. The laughter he memorized was light and airy, your whole body shook when it took hold of you, and it made your eyes sparkle in a way that could steal his breath like nothing else. Steve found that out early in the night when his beard tickled your inner thigh. The memory made him grin. He wanted to hate how fake you sounded right then, but it also meant you let him see a part of you you kept hidden from the rest of the world, and that was enough for hope. 

You turned around and stopped short when you spotted Steve standing there, grinning at you, looking just as pretty as he did the last time you saw him. He trimmed his beard, but it was still thick only cleaned up a bit, and those pretty blond locks tucked behind his ears made him look like a young boy. The tattoos on his forearm peeking out from the rolled-up sleeves and the black leather kutte resting over the snug burgundy Henley reminded you he was no boy. He was trouble, and he was looking to drag you into his mischief. That wasn’t going to happen, no matter how pretty he looked. It took a second for your brain to remind your feet they needed to move. Steve slid around the bar as you made your way towards him. 

"What are you doing here?" You asked quietly, refusing to look up from the IPA bottle you were cracking open. 

"Came to see a friend of mine. His wife owns the place. I have to admit I thought it would be a lot harder to find you." 

Shit. You stopped mid pour and set the glass down, half full of foam. That would need a re-pour. 

No. This wasn't happening. Surely, he didn’t mean… No, no. No. 

"Wait..." You needed to know before you said things you couldn’t take back. "Are you talking about Bucky?" 

Steve tilted his head to the side. Now, that had his curiosity piqued. You could see him processing your question, and you knew exactly what he was thinking: Why did you know that Bucky was Bucky? It was rare that Bucky interfered in Natasha’s business at all. Everyone knew who her husband was and what he was, but it never went beyond James Barnes, Vice President of The Howlers. This sounded like you were… friends? 

You should have kept your mouth shut and walked away the second you saw him. 

"You know, Buck?" 

Buck... Oh, god. 

It suddenly all made so much sense, and you were such an idiot. 

“Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this? I’m a decent person, aren't I?” You asked, looking up at the ceiling as if someone from the heavens would answer you. “This is so bad. Why do you have to be you?” 

You groaned and dropped your head to the bar top. Your one night stand was Bucky's best friend. Club president. Your Steve was Steve Rogers. The Howler’s MC President. The man who went on the road for three years and no one knew why, the one who went nomad and only returned home a few weeks ago. This was why you never let tequila make your decisions. You always end up doing something foolish, like charming bikers that will break your heart.

“I think this necklace of yours might be my good luck charm. Led me right to you, firecracker.” 

“Good luck or a curse?” You grumbled against the slick wood top. Steve hummed, clearly amused by the light chuckle that followed. You slowly lifted your head to glare at him, and he simply grinned back.

“Definitely good luck, sweetheart,” Steve assured you with a wink.

You refused to smile, and you certainly weren’t going to be the one that looked away first. You won’t give in to whatever he’s playing at. Steve settled against the wood and stared right back; his bright blue eyes glittered with amusement and something else that made your skin tingle and your inside burn with want. You recognized a young blond man from a night or two spent at Bucky and Natasha’s place strolled by the bar, only slowing down long enough to pat Steve on the back, but Steve didn’t even blink at the distraction. 

Nothing could pull him away from you. 

“Hey, Nomad. You comin’?” 

Nomad? 

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute Clint. I’ve got some business out here first.” 

You could hear Clint cackling as he walked down the long hallway that led to Natasha’s office. You wondered what the club wanted here and how often the club— and Steve— would be hanging around. Natasha said there wasn’t any overlap between the two. There was a moment of uncertainty and fear when she first offered you the job. You didn’t know if you could work for her if her business was mixed up in club business. That was until she assured you the club didn’t interfere in her affairs. That put some of your worries at ease, not all but enough to give you the courage to accept the job. Your last run-in with an MC was why you ended up south Brooklyn begging Natasha for a place to stay and a position. That was how you ended up working at Red Star and sharing a pathetically tiny apartment with your new friend Wanda. 

There was no one else, no other friends to run to if things go south again. This was the only second chance you were getting, and you couldn’t blow it on someone like Steve Rogers. 

“Thought your name was Steve?” 

Steve grinned.

“That’s my given name. These idiots call me Nomad when they aren’t calling me Prez or Cap. Stevie on occasion. Everyone’s got a nickname ‘round here.”

You’ve heard plenty about their nicknames and all the things they’ve done to get them. 

“I think I prefer Charming,” you mumbled, walking down a few stools to finally hand over a fresh, less foamy IPA to the grump at the far end of the bar.

Every time you moved, Steve followed you, dodging the bodies sitting and standing, and there were several times you had to tell your heart to shut up and keep the flutters to herself. It was becoming increasingly evident that Steve wasn’t going to give up easily. Seeing as how he would probably be around often, you needed to put an end to whatever storybook ending he was building up in his head. 

"You can call me whatever you want." 

You rolled your eyes and slipped the neck of two bottles between your fingers on each hand. 

“Can I have your name now?” 

“No.” 

Steve laughed. He just laughed as if there was something funny about what you had said. He didn’t seem annoyed or upset by your callus tone. If anything, he enjoyed it. Once your hands were free, he reached for you and circled his long fingers around your wrist, loose enough you could easily slip free if you wanted to, but you made no move to lose his touch. You didn’t want to draw any more attention towards the two of you than you had already. That was absolutely the only reason you were letting him touch you. It had nothing to do with how much you liked the feel of his warm, calloused hands on your skin.

“I could keep calling you my firecracker.” 

“I’m not your anything,” you were quick to correct him. 

“No, you're not,” Steve said with a grin. “We haven't even gone on a date yet.”

Yet! As if there is a chance it would be happening. He was sadly mistaken if he thought there was going to be another page to your story. You raised a brow, and Steve hung his head in defeat, but the smile on his face hadn’t changed when he finally looked back up. Something about this man made you want to hide in the safety of his arms and stop running long enough to see if fairy-tales were real.

That was why things between you would never work. 

“Why won’t you give me a chance, hm?” 

Because you're just like all the rest, pretty and dangerous, the harsh voice in your head screamed. It was probably better he didn’t know you thought he was pretty. He seemed like the type to focus on the compliment and ignore the rest.

“Mmm, I’ve played with bikers before. The ride is dangerous, dirty, and short-lived. The risk is never worth the reward.” 

That made Steve frown for the first time since he walked into the bar and your heart-clenched at the look of concern on his face. For a second, you thought about taking it back. Telling him he could be different and maybe he was a good guy with a half-decent heart—even if you didn’t believe it. 

“Sounds Like you're playing with the wrong bikers. My rewards are always well worth the ride, babydoll." 

On second thought, with lines like that, maybe you were right from the start. You weren’t about to fall for the same overplayed words he’s used on every other girl to catch his eye. It would take a lot more than a cheap shot to get you back in his bed. You leaned forward, ghosting your lips over his and slowly pulled back, grinning when he chased after you. You were starting to like this game, and that was begging for more trouble than your heart could handle. 

“All you bikers are the same,” you whispered, leaning across the bar practically nose to nose. “Sweet talk to get into a girl's panties, and then you’re over it. You all claim it’s love at first sight, but it never is. It’s about the chase, the high. It’s never about the girl.” 

Steve sighed. It didn’t sound annoyed, genuinely unsettled by your words, but he wasn’t irritated. More importantly, he wasn’t aggravated with you, but you were sure he felt sorry for you, which bothered you more.  When you dropped your gaze, he gently nudged your chin up with his knuckle until you willingly looked up to meet his eyes.“One problem with your theory, firecracker. I’ve already been in those pretty panties of yours, and I’m still chasing you. Did you ever think that maybe I’m not playing with you? That I actually like you?”  

The knot wedged in your throat made it impossible to answer. So you shrugged instead and let your silence speak for itself; no, you didn’t think that, and you didn’t trust him. None of what he said proved anything. It didn’t mean he was different. It just meant his rules were. The high would end once he won your heart, and you would be tossed to the side while he moved onto a newer, prettier skirt. 

Steve would get bored once he finally earned your heart and your trust, and that made him worse than the others. You would know. You pulled your chin away from his hand but stayed close enough to feel the heat from his hand.

"Go to dinner with me." 

"Steve--" 

"Y/n," Steve sighed playfully, grinning at the shock on your face. He knew your name, but he still asked for it? He shrugged, reading the question that was burning in your eyes. Natasha. She must have mentioned the new girl she hired, and Steve was smart enough to put two and two together. You weren’t sure you liked him knowing your name. He was that much closer to knowing all your secrets, and you couldn’t let that happen. 

"Go. To. Dinner. With me. Please." 

You hated how adorable he looked begging and pleading for only a few hours of your time. He was so cute, and you nearly gave in. Your head overruled your heart and reminded you exactly why you weren’t dating men like him. It only led to heartbreak, and you would very much like to avoid spending your nights crying over another beautiful biker who rode off with your heart. 

"I told you, I don't want anything serious. I’m not looking for more than what we had." 

"It doesn't have to be more than dinner, and I swear if you really don’t want to go on a date with this will be the last time I ask you. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, but I am dying to get you back on my bike. Next Saturday night, if you’re up for it. You can even pick the place if you want to. I promise it will be dinner only. No strings." 

"No strings?" you questioned, eyeing him for any signs of deceit as you did. There was none. Just an excitable puppy staring back at you, ready to give you whatever you wanted if you’d let him.

"Yeah, why not? We can be friends with benefits or whatever the kids call it nowadays." 

"Are we friends?" 

"We are if you say yes, darling." 

You could feel yourself giving in, and you already hated yourself for it because Steve was grinning victoriously, eyes bright, and pleading with you to say yes. You held up one finger ready with your conditions, and Steve quickly grabbed your hand, pressing a kiss to the back, lost in the excitement of what he already knew was about to leave your lips. 

“One dinner, and I’m not promising any benefits.”

Steve lowered your hand and tilted his chin an inch, so his lips were brushing yours when he whispered, “Good. I prefer to earn every one of those sweet whimpers.” 

Someone behind you cleared their throat, and you quickly yanked your arm back, bumping into the wall of bottles behind you, causing the glass to rattle against each other. Bucky’s eyes flicked back and forth between you, and it didn’t take long for him to put it together. A slow grin stretched on Bucky’s face, quickly turning smug. He knew about your one-night stand, not in any detail but that you liked your mystery man far more than you should, and you assumed Steve shared his thoughts on that evening.  You narrowed your eyes at the brunet when he opened his mouth, and it quickly snapped shut—grabbing the empty crates at your feet needing something, anything to use as an excuse to get as far away from both of them as you could. The fridge in the basement was the furthest you could get at the moment, and that was precisely where you were headed. 

“Don’t even say it,” you hissed as you pushed past Bucky. 

Bucky watched as Steve’s eyes followed you until you were out of sight, disappearing down the stairs behind the bar. He looked drunk, maybe a little high, and definitely a little lovesick. 

“Gettin’ into trouble again, Stevie?”

“You could say that, Buck,” Steve sighed helplessly. “I’m getting into something. Not sure what just yet.” 

Prologue // next  

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Real Life Tasks With Ransom Drysdale

An Advent Calendar Of 24 Normal Human Tasks As Performed By A Huge Man Baby

Day 20: New Fashion Trend Ransom? 

Warnings: Bad Language Words

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

A/N: Everything is Ransoms enemy. @what-is-your-plan-today​, @jennmurawski13​ and I have proved that. No matter how hard he tries. 

Series Masterlist

Ransom had just poured himself a scotch, kicking his feet up on the coffee table while he used the remote control to flick through the thousand stations on the TV. Of course it seemed like every single one was blasted with commercials of some kind, making him scowl at the predicament. “Fucking 200 stations and not a god damn thing on.” He sputtered till he hit a game, which made him pause. 

Lakers vs Celtics, he had money on this game so he decided he might as well see how it played out. Of course the money he put on the Celtics would be going straight into the kids college fund, he already promised that any gaming money was going to college funds, private school funds, that whatever his kid needed funds. Didn’t bother him any, it made you happy and he still got that gambling thrill that he sought from his old lifestyle he mostly had given up. 

Sure it mellowed out, his playboy lifestyle since he met you. But would he give it up? Fuck no, you were probably the only person who ever gave a actual damn about him and once he accepted it, well he found he really liked it. Liked mattering to someone, and not just be some asshole prick people tolerated. 

Plus now you were pregnant, which he couldn't get enough of honestly when you were feeling good. To watch the little changes happening, knowing you were growing his son, well at first it scared the shit out of him, not going to lie. Ransom Drysdale a father? His own had been a disaster, he was just striving to be better than any of his family. To actually give a shit. 

That's why he tried to do as much as he could for you, attend all the appointments, make sure you wrote down the chores you needed taken cared of. He even attempted cooking for you, but that was proving a challenge. He would get it though, cause fuck it he wanted to spoil you. Another first for him, wanting to make someone happy before he was.

Soon he was engrossed in the game, sitting on the edge of the seat while waving his hands. “Come on, down the court! Down the court!” He yelled and you crossed through the room, slipping on your coat. 

“Hey Ransom, whoo hoo, Ran.” You called to get his attention, and he sprang up, hitting the off button quickly almost like he got caught watching something he shouldn't have been. 

“What's up… where the hell are you going?” He asked once he faced you, taking in your appearance. 

“I got a check up Ransom.” You say as you double check your purse for the things you needed, one hand resting against the over sized bump stretching before you now. 

“Oh, I can drive, let me just get some shoes on and a coat.” He started and you shook your head before he could walk away. 

“Oh you don't have to go to this one Ransom. Dr.Sitwell is just giving me some information and diet restrictions for the pregnancy.” 

Ransom seemed to stall, unsure about letting you go alone. “You sure? Cause I promised you Princess I would go to all the appointments and such. Plus you are huge now and what if something happened?” 

You scowled at his comment, flipping him the bird. “Don’t forget who did this to me. Fucking huge?” 

Ransom rolled his eyes, hands falling to his hips. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. You are so far along now, I don’t want anything happening to you.” 

You shook your head at your idiot husband, knowing his mouth spoke typically before his brain had the sense to process his words. “Remind me why I married you again Ransom? I appreciate the offer, but I have a small honey-do list I really need help with instead. And besides, I promised to go out to lunch with Meg afterwards.” 

“What does the little liberal bitch want to complain about now?” he said with zero affection in his voice towards his cousin. 

You scoffed and smacked his chest slightly. “Ransom that is your cousin, be nice.” 

“What? I was being nice Y/N.” he rubbed at his tee shirt he was wearing, scowling at you. 

“She invited me, and I said that I would love that. If you're lucky, maybe I will bring you back something.” You walked away towards the door to slip on your shoes, Ransom following right behind. 

“You don’t have to.” He started and you gave him a look while shouldering your purse and slipping your feet into your sneakers. Ransom immediately went to a knee to tie them for you, knowing bending down was almost impossible for you now. The move itself made you smile softly, carding your fingers through his hair. He really was trying, more then you had thought he would. 

“I will surprise you Ransom. And I already sent an email on what I need done.” You said as he moved back to a stand, going to tiptoes to peck him on the lips. “Love you, don't destroy the house while i'm gone.” 

“You know… this place was just fine even before you lived here.” Ransom scoffed at the insinuation, and you were out the door laughing and cringing at the same time. 

“I don't even want to know what went on here before I lived here with you.” You climbed into your car and Ransom watched while leaning in the doorway, recalling a time before you. 

“Yea, you really don't wanna know Sweetheart.” He said to himself while going back inside while pulling out his phone to check on this list you emailed him.

1.Bleach the bathroom

2.Wipe down counters and stove

3.Take out garbage

The list went on from there, all easy tasks except for one. The bleaching the bathroom he cringed at. That was work you hired someone to do, not get on your hands and knees to do it yourself. He contemplated seeing if he couldn't get Harlan’s housekeeper over, he was sure a hundred bucks she would do it. But that would almost be more of a hassle in case she mentioned anything to someone like Meg who would just LOVE being a snitch and ratting him out to you. No, might as well just do it himself. First the easy stuff though, get it out of the way. 

It was an hour later and Ransom was actually feeling pretty good about it all. No major mishaps happened, and the house actually did look a lot better then when he started. But the bathroom loomed on his mind, and even after a break to check the games scores could he not put it off any longer. 

“Fuck my life…” He muttered to himself while stepping in the bathroom with his hands to his hips, looking it over. The downstairs bathroom wasn't huge or fancy, but in this moment one of the smallest rooms in the house seemed huge, daunting, like it was laughing at him. 

This just set his resolve more, as he stepped into the bathroom. “Pay people to do this? Fuck they are ripping us off.” He muttered while digging out some bleach and bucket from under the bathroom sink. “Y/N is right, waste of money when we can just do it ourselves.” He ran the tap in the tub and filled the bucket, sure to add way to much bleach to the solution. Lifting it out, he grabbed your yellow elbow high gloves and a folded up hand towel (one of your good hand towels) and knelt on the floor to start washing the floor. It went smoothly at first, shuffling back and bringing the bucket with him, he didn't notice the little splashes from when he was plunging the towel into the bucket and wringing it out. It wasn't till he happened to jump hearing the door slam shut, and unknowingly he smacked his hand into the bucket, the water sloshing over the edge of it and landing in his lap that he cursed out.

“Fucking Christ!” He sprang up the water running down his leg, and almost immediately the dark blue of his jeans started to turn bleached white almost, all up and down his legs the spots kept appearing. 

“Ransom?” You had wandered through the living room and was staring down the hallway towards the bathroom where you saw the light on, and there you saw him. His yellowed gloved hands were on held out to his sides, his head dipped down as if in utter disgust, looking at himself. You couldn't help the giggle that escaped you, which you covered your mouth to try to stifle it when his head tilted up enough to see you standing in the doorway. 

“These were brand fucking new jeans.” He said hostilely, and that just made you bust out in a laugh, wrapping an arm around your side and gripping the door frame to keep from doubling over at how ridiculous he looked. “What's so funny.” 

“You, you wore high end jeans to bleach the fucking bathroom. Ransom, why would you wear nice clothes?” 

“I only have nice clothes Y/N! Why would I keep shitty old clothes?” He said while peeling off the gloves and tossing them in the sink, thoroughly done with his ‘Honey Do List’ now. 

“For moments like these Ransom, when we have to do the messy shit.” You looked him up and down once more, a giggle escaping you again. “I mean, maybe you will be the one to bring back acid wash jeans?” 

“Right in the fucking garbage is where these are going. Who in their right mind would wear shit like this.” 

“Your parents probably did?” 

“Just give me another reason Y/N to hate this all that much more.” He glared at you while brushing past you to go change. “I told you we should just hire someone.” 

“We are not hiring a maid for the thousandth time Ransom.”

[plus-size-reader]

One Familiar Face

Bucky Barnes x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1270 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Bucky coming back from Hydra and only wanting to see you

Part 2 coming soon

——————————————————————————————————

The news of Bucky's capture had shook you to your core.

The moment those words met your ears, you panicked. Of all the things that could happen to him, that was probably the worst. After all, there was a chance he faced a fate worse than death at the hands of those Nazis.

You felt like you had lost him, more than you already thought.

The day he'd been drafted, you'd done your fair share of mourning. You thought that you would surely lose him, like so many of the other girls in town had. It wasn't until you became a became a battlefront nurse had you felt even a little better.

Though, there was nothing you could do to make this any better from where you were standing.

As of right now Bucky was gone, and no matter what you did, there was always that possibility that he wasn't ever going to come back. It was killing you to even think that way, but somehow that wasn't even the worst part.

The worst part was that no one in his company was doing anything about it.

It seemed like it should have been simple.

The way you saw it, they should have been out there as soon as they got news of his capture, that idea of never-leaving-a-man-behind and all that but they weren't. His commanding officer just laughed at you when you asked, explaining eventually that it wasn't worth the risk for a single man.

You couldn't believe it.

After everything that Bucky had done for them, and all the things that he had been willing to do for his country, you found it so terrible that they weren't even willing to put out a search party to go get him.

It wasn't like he'd been killed and you were suggesting they go out of there way to bring back a body, though you likely would have if that was the case. Bucky was still alive out there, and you just wanted him home.

Still, even in your outrage, you weren't going to take a single no for an answer.

There had to be more that could be done for him, you were sure of it. So, you went to the one person in the world who was sure to agree with you on this. You found Steve, that look of fierce determination on your face.  It was a sort of warning for him, a warning that something hadn't gone your way.

...And like usual, he was right.

"Can you believe this?" you seethed, rubbing your hands vigorously over your face as you thought it over, waiting for Steve to comment. You had found your way to his tent, hoping he could talk some sense into them.

Not that it was getting you anywhere good right now.

It killed Steve to think about losing Bucky, but there was more to it than just the one man, as you had been told. It was something he had to think about, or he risked getting other people hurt. He would never forgive himself if someone else died because of his ignorance, but he also knew you would never forgive him if he didn't find a way to get Buck out of there.

It put him in a difficult position, but he wasn't about to explain all of that to you. He knew how hard it must have been to hear from the lips of a Sargent, but it would probably hurt more from him.

So, he nodded instead.

"Just give me a few hours, I'll see what I can do" he tried, rubbing his hand on your back slowly, trying to be as comforting as he could, not that it was doing any good. You were both too tense over the potential loss of the man you both loved to even take a breath, led alone go about normal life.

"We have to bring him home" you sighed, a deep breath leaving your body before you even meant for it to. You knew that you should have been keeping your composure, carrying yourself like a functional adult, but you couldn't.

In any other circumstance, you would have been fine but not where Bucky or Steve's safety was concerned.

You had joined  the war effort mostly to keep an eye on the two of them and if you lost them, you would never be able to move on from that. Those two goons were your family, and you wouldn't just give up on either of them.

It didn't matter how crazy you looked in the process.

Steve stood for another moment or so, processing your words before leaving the room entirely. He muttered something to himself when he was nearly out of the room but you couldn't catch what it was.

In any case, you let it give you as much comfort as you could. If there was anything that could make you feel better, it was knowing that if there was anyone who would bring Bucky back to you, it was Steve.

He wasn't going to just accept anything like that laying down.

~

You had no idea what Steve was going to do when he first left that tent, his words echoing over and over in your mind. A few hours he said, that was what he asked for, however, it had been much longer than that.

By your count, it had been eight and you were practically vibrating with nerves. It was killing you to just sit around, waiting like some kind of bump on a log. You couldn't do anything from here but luckily, before you could lose your mind entirely, he appeared.

Well, he didn't really just appear.

You heard the hooting and hollering from outside the tent, and upon peeking your head out to investigate, found a whole mess of people standing in the mud. It was hard to make out what you were seeing at first, through the mass, but when you did, you found yourself rushing toward the thick of it.

The puddles at your feet erupted around your ankles as you sprinted toward them, ignoring everyone around you instead of him. All you cared about was getting to Steve as quickly as you could, because you knew who else you'd find there.

He'd done it.

Standing beside him was Bucky, and while he looked pretty beat up and would take a while to fully recover, he was alive and right now, that was enough for you.

"Are you really here? You're home?" you gasped, throwing your arms around his shoulders without much care for the clear trauma his body had endured. You knew that it probably hurt, at least a little, but you didn't care.

Normally you would have grimaced at the idea of putting him through any kind of unnecessary strain but you couldn't help yourself at the moment. You needed to be as close to him as humanly possible, just to make sure it was really him.

You didn't want to let him slip through your fingers like he had before. After all, the two of you had never been forced apart like this, and you were now determined to never let it happen again.

"Yeah, but you're squeezing awful tight darling" he chuckled, holding you as tightly as ever, even though he was complaining. If nothing else, he was more determined to keep you close, though his fractured rib wasn't as glad to be a part of it.

Nothing mattered more than being together, and after a little bit of healing, he was going to be back to normal.

...Wouldn't he?

[agoldengalaxy]

To Be Trusted

read on Ao3

Bucky witnesses Sam having a nightmare. He does his best to help.

--

Warm water gently rolls down his knuckles as he scrubs at a plate, handing it to Sarah, who runs a towel over it. “Thanks for helpin’ with the dishes,” she says, and he smiles, turning off the faucet.

“Least I can do. You’re letting me sleep on your couch.”

“Bucky Barnes, you are always welcome here, and don’t you forget it.” Waving the towel at him accusingly, she smiles as he laughs, hanging it over the faucet to dry. “It’s nice to have an extra pair of hands around here. Especially tonight, since Sam decided to go to bed early like an old man.” She pauses. “No offense.”

Smirking, he shakes his head. “None taken.”

Sam had been tired out after the Flagsmashers excitement, and neither of them could blame him. But Sarah was his sister, so of course she was still going to tease him for it. “Speaking of which, it’s probably about time I went to bed, too. I’m supposed to be takin’ the kids to Gloria’s in the morning. You and Sam can do your training or whatever it is you Avengers do.”

Bucky smirks again, sticking his hands in his pockets. “We’ll try to make ourselves useful.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” She pats his shoulder with a wink, then heads toward the stairs. “Good night. Get some sleep.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies, watching her go with another smile. “Good night, Sarah.” She waves, and then he’s standing alone.

Giving the kitchen a once-over, he turns to turn off the lights, stretching his arms above his head. Even though it’s dark in the house, with the only source of light being the moon peeking through the window curtains, he doesn’t feel that sense of dread he used to when he lived in that apartment on his own. Things are so different here with the Wilsons, and he doesn’t think he would ever be able to express just how much that means to him.

He’s pretty tired from everything that happened, too, but he’s so used to powering though that it’s a strange feeling to actually want to sleep. But this house, and that small, worn couch he sleeps on, makes him feel safe. Like his memories can’t reach him here, because he’s busy making new ones.

And right now, the couch looks pretty inviting.

But first, he quietly heads down the hall. The boys’ shared room as well as Sarah’s is upstairs, but Sam’s is right across from the bathroom. And Bucky glances toward the closed door as he passes, wondering how Sam must be feeling. He’s finally accepted the mantle, but surely he must have a lot of pressure on his shoulders; yet, he’s been handling it all with grace. Bucky couldn’t be more proud to call him his friend...and partner.

He changes into a t-shirt and sweatpants and exits the bathroom, standing there in the hallway for a moment to let his eyes adjust to the dark. He’s about to continue walking when his ears pick up a quiet noise coming from behind Sam’s closed door. Bucky’s not one to eavesdrop (unless it’s for a mission), but his curiosity - and concern - is peaked. He steps up to the door, straining to hear something further. It sort of sounds like he’s talking to someone under his breath. “Sam?” he calls cautiously, waiting to hear a response. He doesn’t get one, and the noise continues.

His gaze slides down toward the doorknob, and he can’t help but hesitate. He has this feeling of dread building up in his chest, because he’s pretty sure he knows what’s going to be waiting for him on the other side of the door. He knows because he deals with it all the time. Not as frequently since he began staying with the Wilsons, but still there. And he doesn’t want to have to see Sam like that. But he knows if it were him, Sam would come to his aid, and so the choice is simple. Metal fingers curl around the doorknob quietly, and he pushes it open softly.

The room is almost completely dark, save for the moonlight that streams through his window. Sam is on his back, legs tangled up within the blankets, his face twisted up in pain. His head jerks back and forth, incoherent mumbles escaping through parted lips, body tense and rigid.

Bucky stands there for a moment, his heart aching. It’s exactly what he was expecting, but it still hurts to see Sam so distressed. He’ll be damned if he makes him suffer any longer than he already has. Stepping forward, he places his right hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Sam, hey. C’mon, pal.” It takes a moment, but the words work. Sam’s eyes fly open and he sits up straight, gasping loudly. Bucky moves to stand in front of him right away, keeping a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s alright. You were dreaming. You’re safe.”

Sam’s bare chest rises and falls quickly with each shallow breath, glazed eyes barely blinking, staring at Bucky but not really seeing him. And then his gaze slides upward, and they make eye contact. “Bucky?” he breathes, voice broken, a sheen of sweat covering his face and chest.

Just his name on the other’s lips breaks Bucky’s heart. He wonders what it is, but thinking on it for just a moment makes the answer become clear. Sam is always put-together, incredibly strong and brave, a good head on his shoulders. Seeing him like this just hurts, and Bucky almost doesn’t know what to do. But he recovers as quickly as he can, offering a sad smile and moving to sit on the end of the bed.

“Yeah, it’s me,” he says, keeping his hand on Sam’s shoulder to ground him. “Take some deep breaths, Sam. You’re gonna be okay.”

His eyes fall closed again as he tries to steady his breathing, unconsciously leaning in to the touch. Bucky continues to coax him, knowing it’s what Sam would do for him. It’s nice to be looked after when these things happen; and he’s glad he can be there for Sam this time.

A few long minutes pass. It’s a slow, gradual process, but Sam’s breaths are soon evened out. He opens his eyes again, letting out a quiet breath. “Thanks, Buck,” he mumbles, and it’s genuine. Under normal circumstances, Sam would almost definitely make some smart comment, but now isn’t the time. Bucky nods, slowly letting go of the other’s shoulder.

“You’d do the same for me.” It’s certain, he has no doubt in his mind. Sam is calm now, but he doesn’t look much better than he had a few minutes ago. So Bucky shifts his weight a little. “You wanna talk about it?”

Sam exhales slowly, looking toward the window. “...It’s been a while since I thought about him.”

Bucky frowns, face betraying his confusion. “Who?”

“Riley. My wingman.” He releases another shaky breath. “We were partners when I was in the force. There was nothing I could do to save him. Was just up there to...watch it all happen.” His shoulders sag a little, and he lets out a humorless chuckle. “He’d hate to see me like this. Tell me to get my head outta my ass and keep moving forward.”

Sighing quietly, Bucky offers a small, sad smile. “Sounds like a pretty good guy.”

Sam eyes him for a moment. “You two would have gotten along. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.” Quiet falls between them. Bucky wracks his brain to try to find something else to say. Something to make Sam feel better.

All he can do is lift an arm. “You want a hug or something?”

Under normal circumstances, Sam would most likely laugh at him for even suggesting such a thing, probably assuming that the other was joking in the first place. But he doesn’t laugh, he just stares for a moment, and then he leans forward, resting his cheek on Bucky’s shoulder, much to the latter’s surprise. “If you say anythin’ about this, I’ll kill you,” Sam mumbles, but the threat is empty.

Swallowing, Bucky’s heart skips a beat and he smiles a bit, wrapping his arms around the other. “What, me? Tease you? Never.” If anything, he’s just grateful Sam hasn’t started crying. He has no idea what to do in those types of situations. But this? He can definitely do this. It’s been a long time since he’s embraced someone so fully, but he finds himself glad that it’s Sam who ended up being first after so much time had passed.

He’s warm, and Bucky passes the time by watching Sam’s back rise and fall, much more even than it had been before. He can see the curve of his spine, the muscles relaxed along them, outlined thanks to the pale moonlight. And what a strange situation Bucky is in, he thinks, holding the man who once tried to kill him so gently, hoping that the nightmares that plague him will leave.

Bucky can deal with his own dreams. He doesn’t think he can take knowing that Sam also has to suffer.

It’s been quiet for awhile, so Bucky glances down. “Sam? Maybe you should try to get some more rest. It’s gettin’ late.” There’s no response. He shifts a little, trying to get a look at his face, brows knit together. “Sam?”

He can’t see it too clearly, but he knows by the silence that his friend has now fallen asleep on his shoulder. Somehow. Heat creeps up Bucky’s neck and toward his cheeks and ears, grateful for both the darkness and the fact that Sam can’t see it. He’s not sure why he feels so...warm. Sam trusted him enough, felt safe enough against Bucky that he was able to forget his terrible memory and rest again. And Bucky...doesn’t remember what that was like. To be trusted so fully when for so long, he couldn’t even trust himself.

Slowly, he releases his embrace, taking Sam’s shoulders gently. Maneuvering carefully, supporting his head, he pushes him back to lay against the pillows. Much to Bucky’s surprise, Sam doesn’t stir. His face is a big contrast to what Bucky had found earlier; his jaw is slack, his brows are relaxed, and he looks at peace. Bucky can’t help but stare for a few moments. Under the pale moon, Sam has finally found restful sleep, thanks to Bucky. And Bucky looks on with a fond smile.

After what seems like hours, he moves to pull the blankets over Sam’s chest, who mumbles something under his breath before falling silent again. “Just needed a hug, huh, pal?” he whispers, smiling a little to himself in the way he’d never be caught dead doing if Sam could see him. “You big softie.” Of course, he knows he’s a hypocrite, but he doesn’t really mind much.

Finally, he rises from the edge of the bed, walking toward the door. He knows Sam would rather die than talk about what happened come morning, but Bucky’s okay with that. He doesn’t mind keeping it a secret for him. Glancing over his shoulder once more, he smiles again. “Good night, Sam.”

And with that, he leaves the room quietly, heading to the couch, and falls into a dreamless sleep.

When he wakes in the morning, the blanket is thrown over him and a cup of coffee is already poured on the table. A single sticky note reads, “Thanks.” And Bucky grins, getting up to grab the cup and head out the door toward the boat, where he knows Sam will be waiting for him.

[softlyjins]

play in your deep

jin x fem!reader, established relationship

word count: 2.9k+

summary: you and jin have been together for a little bit, so you feel that it’s time to reveal something that had been on your mind.

warnings: reader being embarrassed, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (be safe kids), creampie, daddy kink (i’m like barely sorry), multiple orgasms, oral sex (f receiving), rough sex (kinda? idk), aftercare (it’s important), jin making a terrible joke

an: uhh i edited about half of this and this is the first fic i’ve written in a while so if it’s bad pls don’t come for me. also i’m dyslexic so if there are any spelling errors, please tell me, i’m weirdly picky about spelling and grammar for someone who often reads things wrong. let me know if you like it ☺️ enjoy?

You and Jin were in a comfortable spot in your relationship. You had known each other for a while but only started dating about three months ago. It had genuinely been the most fun three months of your life. In past relationships you always felt like you needed to make yourself perfect for them, but with Jin it was obvious that he liked you and your imperfections, even if you yourself were still in the process of accepting them. He made you laugh very easily, and he was usually laughing at his own jokes whenever he told them. You found everything about him endearing.

Discovering new kinks was always fun. Opening up to a (relatively) new partner about them, isn’t as awesome when you’ve just barely discovered said kink.

On a very relaxed day, when you and Jin were just hanging around your apartment in your sweats (his sweatshirt, you were already beginning to take his clothes), you decided then was the best time to tell Jin how you were feeling. “I think I have something to tell you,” you said, turning to Jin and biting your lower lip.

“You think you have something to tell me?” Jin queried, tilting his head at you.

You took a deep breath, you already decided that this was the day that you were finally going to tell Jin what you wanted, but you weren’t sure how to phrase it.

“I mean yeah, it just- Ugh! It’s just so hard to put into words.” You picked at one of your nails, looking down at your hands as they weren’t the person you were trying to reveal something very personal to.

“Is everything okay? Are you like on the run from the mafia or something?” Jin sat up straighter, seeming to think that you being on the run from the mob was something that he should be legitimately worried about.

“Oh my god no,” you groaned, throwing your head back and letting out a deep sigh. “It’s just... I don’t know, I’m nervous?” You went back to staring at your hand.

“Come on,” Jin rolled his eyes. “We’ve been dating for four months, what could I possibly not know about you that makes you this nervous?” He cocked his head and put his hand on your arm in an almost teasing way.

You looked at his hand on your arm before looking up at him and raising a brow. “We’ve been dating for three months, what are you talking about?”

“I take that first month we knew each other as when we started dating because we were obviously into each other even from the beginning,” Jin gave you a small smirk, the same one that made you weak all those months ago.

“Oh my god, we st- Wait that isn’t even what we’re talking about!” You groaned and smacked his hand away from your arm.

“Come on,” Jin put his hand on your knee, deciding there was a smaller chance of you moving his hand away from this position. “I’ll give you a kiss if you tell me what it is!” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

You groaned and put your hands in front of your face. “It’s just embarrassing!” You muffled through your palms.

Jin reached up to pull your hands down, giving you a genuine smile. “Come on _____,” he pleaded. “If it makes you feel any better, I peed my pants when I was younger.”

You threw your hands down on your lap. “That doesn’t even count! Everyone peed their pants in when they were young!” You gaped at him, somewhat affronted that he would consider that to be embarrassing, when he hadn’t even heard what you were so close to revealing to him. Being embarrassed and mildly turned on was a very strange combination that you weren’t becoming a fan of. Jin in sweatpants was your weakness.

Your boyfriend sighed and took one of your hands, noticing how conflicted you were on the matter. “If you don’t feel comfortable telling me, then that’s fine. I don’t want to pressure you—“

“I’m want you to cum inside me!” You blurted out, squeezing your eyes shut as tightly as possible.

There was a beat of silence. You peeked one of your eyes open to try and gauge Jin’s reaction.

“Shit, fuck— I’m sorry.” You stood up off of the sofa to try and went to walk towards the door, completely forgetting that you were at your apartment, but before you could even leave the room, Jin was grabbing hold of your wrist.

“Is that it?” he asked in a slightly playful tone. You couldn’t help but stare down at your feet, feeling entirely too vulnerable for your liking. “Tell me what you want,” he said in a soft but stern tone, lifting up your chin with the hand that had been grasping your wrist.

You swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to muster up enough courage to actually say it. You felt yourself trembling at his words. It’s all you’ve wanted ever since you figured out you were into it. You put your hands into fists, trying to catch your breath. “I want you to come inside me. I hate condoms and I’m on the pill and like we’re exclusive so, like, we don’t have diseases or whatever to worry about and-” you stopped for a moment to shut your eyes and take another breath. “I want to know what it feels like to have you dripping out of me,” you whisper, opening your eyes only to stare at his shoulder.

Before you could say anything else or give him the option to just walk out, Jin’s lips were on yours and he was leading you towards your bedroom. It took you a moment to register that he definitely seemed to be okay with your proposal. “Have I ever told you that you’re perfect?” He asked as the backs of your legs touched the mattress, cocking a brow and smirking at you.

“Probably,” you shrug, wrapping your arms around his neck, leaning back onto the bed and taking him down with you. You wasted no time taking off your clothes. You had never been more grateful for sweatpants. Once your shirt was off, Jin quickly took one of your nipples into his mouth and sighed onto it.

Jin moved his head back up to your lips to leave you a soft kiss before whispering into your ear, “Jesus Christ, I wish you would have told me sooner because I don’t think I’ve ever been this hard before in my life.” He quickly moved back towards your mouth and began kissing you passionately, grabbing your ass and grinding his hard, boxer-brief covered length into your already wet panties. “Fuck, you’re so wet already,” he said quietly, moving his hand down to tease you over your panties. “Are you sure you need me to fill you up? You seem to be doing just fine by yourself,” he teased, smirking at your flushed expression.

“No, please,” you begged, grabbing onto his broad shoulders. “Please, I need your cum inside me so bad I think I might explode, shit-“ He moved his hands to remove your underwear quickly and moved down to begin lightly licking on your clit.

“Damn, I can’t wait to see how you taste with both of our cum mixed together,” he said, leaving a soft kiss to your clit before moving himself back up to kiss your mouth. You loved how Jin’s kisses tasted with even a small amount of your wetness on them. “I feel like it would make you taste even better, but I don’t know how that’s even possible.”

You whimpered and bucked your hips up towards him. “Please, please, please, oh my god, I need you inside me right now.” Feeling a little bold and extremely needy, you reached a hand down and began palming him through his boxer briefs that were still on for some reason.

“Well aren’t you desperate for my cock?” Jin smirked at you before biting his lip, trying to hide the fact that he was just as needy for you. “Are you sure you’re ready for me? I haven’t even warmed you up yet.” He tried keeping his composure, but as your hand kept moving up and down his shaft, his facade was breaking easily.

“Oh my god, please, I swear I’m ready for you.” You rubbed your thighs together to get some sort of friction to your aching pussy, but you were so wet that they just slipped right past each other. “I’m so fucking wet, please just fuck me, daddy.” You had never referred to Jin as “daddy” before that moment. You’d definitely thought it before, but always felt too nervous to bring it up. You hated having an extremely cliche kink.

Jin, however, was pretty sure he would lose his goddamn mind if you called him that again. Jin immediately moved his underwear down enough for his cock to spring out and slammed himself into you. It was a little much at first, but he stayed still long enough for the both of you to get used to the feeling of just how tight you were at that moment. “You good, baby?” he asked you, moving a piece of hair that had fallen in front of your face so he could memorize your expression in that exact moment. Eyes tightly closed, lips swollen and slightly open, cheeks extremely flushed, and a small bit of sweat, just enough to make you glow.

You pursed your lips together before taking a deep breath. “Yeah, just give me a second.” After taking another deep breath, you opened your eyes to see Jin looking at you with endearment and a smidge of concern. You used one hand to gently move his lips down to meet yours, while keeping your other hand on his ribcage. “Thank you,” you whispered, taking a moment to look into his eyes. “Since I wasn’t prepped for you, you feel even bigger than usual.”

Jin groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, please. Can I move? Are you ready?” His eyes were so eager and you were about to burst as well.

“Yes, daddy.” You smirked at him for a half of a second before he began slamming into you. The mix of the sound of his groans, his skin slapping against yours, and the squelching of your pussy around his dick was making your head spin. You moved to wrap your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his waist, trying to keep yourself as close to him as possible. He lowered to his forearms as to begin suckling on your neck. “Oh god, don’t stop, please don’t stop,” you whined into his ear.

You felt the twinge of a smirk on your neck. “Don’t stop, who?” he teased.

It took you a moment to figure out what he was asking. “Please, daddy, don’t stop, your cock feels so good.” You moved your arms again, digging your nails into his shoulders, feeling like you were only hanging on by a string. With every stroke of his length against your walls, you were losing more and more control. “Oh my god, I think I’m gonna cum. I don’t think I’ve ever cum this fast,” you said quietly but loud enough for Jin to hear and grow his ego about six times the size it already was.

Jin moved one hand down to lazily circle your clit. “Yeah? You gonna cum for me, baby? So soon?” Even through your eyes were shut, you could hear the smirk in his voice but couldn’t bring yourself to care that he was teasing you.

“Yes, fuck- yes I’m gonna cum, please, please, touch my clit. I can’t take it, fuck-“ you gasped when he moved his thumb so he was directly on top of your needy clit. “Fuck, oh my god, please, daddy,” you groaned, tangling your fingers into his hair, not knowing what else to grab onto.

Jin leaned down to messily kiss you. “Please what?”

This was the hottest and most frustrating thing you had ever experienced. “Please, I wanna cum, oh my god I’m so close, please,” you whined, feeling the prickling of tears at your eyes.

“Call me ‘daddy’ one more time and I’ll let you cum, princess,” Jin muttered lowly into your mouth before covering his mouth on top of it, slowing his ministrations on your sensitive bud.

Your pussy clenched at his request and the pet name that he had never used with you before. You could feel Jin’s motions stutter a bit at your clench. “Please let me come, daddy,” you breathed out.

Jin started pounding harder into you and moved his thumb faster across your clit. Soon after, you felt the overwhelming feeling of pleasure rip through you. Everything was heightened with you clenching around Jin’s cock as he kept working on your clit. Jin slowed his thrusts for a moment, realizing you needed a moment to come down. “You good, baby?” He put one hand to your cheek, your hand automatically meeting his as you tried to catch your breath.

“Are you kidding? That was amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever cum that hard in my life,” you said through your pants, opening your eyes to see Jin looking down at you.

“Well, we aren’t done yet, princess,” Jin pecked your lips quickly. “Get on all fours, I wanna see my cum dripping out of you when I fill you up.”

You immediately followed his orders, feeling a bit of your own cum dripping out of you while trying to hold back a whimper. The second you got on your hands and knees, you felt Jin move down to lap up your juices. You were still so sensitive that his tongue made your arms give out, your chest falling to the bed. Jin kept devouring your pussy, occasionally lightening his touch, only to get his tongue even deeper right after. He moved one hand up to lightly touch your clit, causing your legs to spread even wider. You were practically sitting on his face at this point. “Baby, I’m gonna cum again, fuck,” you squealed, hands bunching up the bedsheets.

Suddenly, all of Jin’s movements stopped and he moved out from underneath you, bringing his mouth to your ear, leaving a quick bite before saying “I’m gonna make you cum again, but it’s gonna be around my cock as I fill you up with my cum.” You couldn’t help but whimper at that, all of your noises growing louder as you felt Jin move to line his cock up with your wetness.

His movements started off slow and gradually got faster. He was able to get much deeper into you in this position and it was weakening the both of you. His grip around your hips tightened as he began moving faster and faster inside of you. You felt your resolve disintegrating quickly. The thought of even the possibility of Jin’s cum inside of you brought you closer to the edge. “Daddy, I’m close, fuck-“ you gasped when he brought a hand down to pinch one of your nipples.

“Me too, princess,” he said lowly, his thrusts becoming quicker and deeper. “Come all over me so I can fill you up.”

His words mixed with his motions and his fingers’ vice grip on your nipple sent you catapulting over the edge. You think you might have screamed, but you couldn’t be sure. It wasn’t until you felt Jin’s cum fill you up that your second wave hit you. Your hands grabbed at the sheets, trying to find any kind of purchase to keep you steady. Jin kept thrusting into you slowly, working the both of you through your respective orgasms.

Before you could drop to the bed, Jin pulled out of you and began to taste how your juices mixed together inside of you. It felt better than you had dreamed, the feeling of him dripping out of you. The oversensitivity made you buck your hips and whimper. “Daddy, please, it’s too much.”

Jin gently flipped you onto your back and took one last moment to use two fingers to catch as much of your cum as he could. “Open,” he looked directly into your eyes as he brought his fingers towards your mouth. You quickly opened your lips for him as he dragged them across your tongue. You closed your lips around his digits, wanting to savor every drop. “Jesus Christ, you’re amazing,” he kissed you slowly, mingling his tongue with yours to taste your juices again.

He suddenly broke the kiss and got up from the bed. He smiled at your frown and hand grabbing his shoulder to keep him next to you. “Baby, give me just a second, I’m just gonna grab a towel,” he laughed softly, placing a quick peck to your lips before getting off of the bed. He quickly came back with a slightly damp towel, making sure to not use too much pressure when cleaning you up. After cleaning himself off, he threw the towel into the hamper and got into bed with you, wrapping his arms around you and placing a soft kiss to the top of your head. “That was-“

“Yeah,” you interrupted him, not knowing of any words that could accurately describe what had just occurred. You used all of your strength to roll over so you could rest your head on his chest, wrapping an arm around his torso.

“I only have one thing to say,” Jin said, looking down at you. He sighed, “That’s a wet ass pussy.”

You pursed your lips together, not giving him the satisfaction of your laughter, figuring his own was plenty. “I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch61: Part Of The Journey Is The End.

Intro: Steve embarks on his final mission as Captain America, and as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end…

Warnings: “Language!”  Smut (NSFW) no under 18s.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So here it is, the last chapter before the epilogue. I rewrote a chunk of this too, but nothing has changed in the overall timeline. Thank you to all of you who have read and invested in this story, Katie means a hell of a lot to me. But don’t fear, their story isn’t quite over. And we’ll check in with the Rogers family as they grow over the years.

@angrybirdcr​ thank you for coming on this ride with me!!!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 60

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

“Are you out of your goddamned mind?” Bucky looked at Steve, not quite able to process what he had said. “You’re gonna pull a stupid ass stunt like that, and you’re not even gonna tell your wife?”

“Buck…” “You know, you’ve always been a dumbass ass Steve but this,” Bucky turned round shaking his head before he spun back, pointing his finger at his friend, “this is something else. She’s fuckin’ pregnant! You already have kids!” “What, you think I don’t know that?” Steve blazed at him. “I’m doing it because of that, because losing her, I can’t do it Buck, I just can’t.” “Then why are you not telling her?” Bucky shook his head at him. “If you actually believe that it will mean less heartache in the long run, tell her.” “I can’t.” Steve shook his head. “She’d try to stop me and…” “Damned straight she would because it’s a fucking stupid idea!”

Steve shook his head. “This is my chance, a chance to be who I’m meant to be, who I want to be, and I can’t let it pass me by.”

Bucky looked at him. Steve’s face was set, he knew that look well. There was no talking the stubborn little punk out of this. He simply shook his head and looked down at the ground. “I want no part of this.”

“Bucky…” “I mean it Steve.” Buck looked at him. “What you’re planning on doing is one thing but to not tell your dame?” He shook his head again. “She has a right to know. She deserves that at least.” With a final look over his shoulder Bucky turned and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair, before heading down the hall.

“Bucky?” Katie frowned as she saw the look on his face. She’d heard his and Steve’s raised voices but hadn’t caught much of the conversation, but from the looks of it they’d had a pretty big argument. “You ok?”

“Yeah, just, he told me about his plans.” Bucky said, “For the shield.” He recovered quickly, which wasn’t a complete lie.

“Oh, and you don’t agree?” She asked, almost curiously.

“Yeah, I do I just,” he shook his head, “I need to take a walk, this is a bit much you know.”

She nodded and smiled. “I know how you feel, wanna take Lucky?” she asked, smiling. Bucky had a fondness for the dog which he tried to hide, but failed miserably. Bucky’s mouth curled up at one side and he nodded.

“Yeah I can take him, only as a favour, you know, so that you and that punk don’t have to.”

Katie grinned and unhooked the leash from the coat-peg by the door. Wordlessly Bucky took it, clipped it onto the dog’s collar and headed out of the door.

He headed down the drive and onto the quiet road, not quite sure where he was going, not that it mattered. He just needed to calm down. The conversation had started off pretty positively. Steve explained that he was retiring, handing down the shield and Bucky had braced himself for the question. He didn’t want the shield. If he was needed, he would fight, like a good soldier, but he didn’t want to. So when Steve explained that he was passing it to Sam after talking it over with Katie, Bucky had let out a huge breath of relief.

“Seems my girl was right.” Steve smiled as Bucky looked at him. “You don’t want it.”

“I’ve had enough Steve.” Bucky sighed. “I mean, I’d take it if I had to but…”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Buck.” Steve said, hand on his shoulder giving it a squeeze, “not anymore.” Bucky smiled and looked down at his feet, his eyes misting over. He hastily blinked back the tears and then looked back at his friend, lip curling into a smirk. “You gonna give Seagull half a shield?”

“No.” Steve bit his lip “I have a, a plan, some way to get another one. But it means I’ll be going back. Back and staying.” Then the stupid prick had explained his plan and Bucky had gotten mad. He had everything he ever dreamed of right in front of him. A gorgeous wife, two kids and another on the way, a comfortable life, stability, a home, and now he was about to leave it all.  And Bucky was fuming because he knew, that once again, he’d be picking up the pieces and mopping up after Steven dumbass Rogers.

****

Back at home Steve was sat at the kitchen table, head in his hands, running over the conversation in his head. He could count on one hand the amount of times he and Bucky had fought like that, and he didn’t like it. Part of him wished he hadn’t told him but he had to, he had to make him understand why he was doing what he was doing, so that at least someone knew and could explain when and if needed. Steve hadn’t expected him to react favourably but not to the extent he had done. And the thing was, Steve knew he was right. Katie had a right to know, but he couldn’t tell her and watch her beg him not to do it. He could never say no to her. “What’s up with Bucky?” Katie asked as she walked into the kitchen. Steve looked up, hands sliding down his face and gave her a soft smile.

“I just told him about the shield and my plans to take the stones back.” “You’re taking the stones?” She asked quietly, sitting next to him.

He nodded.

“Why?” Steve sighed. “In all honesty, Doll, I can’t explain. I just feel like this is something I need to do, to close the end on the loop maybe. One last mission.”

She looked down at the table, taking a deep breath, her hand falling to her stomach. She had known deep down this was coming.

“When?”

“As soon as Bruce has the machine running. He said yesterday it wouldn’t take too long, but, I’m not sure.”

She didn’t reply, instead she looked down at her hands which were resting on her stomach.

“It’ll be okay.” Steve said to her softly, tipping her face up to look at him. “It’ll all work out.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not scared.” She whispered, looking up at him, green eyes full of tears. “I can’t lose you, Steve.”

“I promise it’ll be okay.” He assured her again as he reached out and gave her a hug, laying his cheek against the crown of her head, closing his eyes and just relishing her warmth and closeness.

**** The tension between Steve and Bucky continued for two weeks. It was palpable and noticeable to everyone in the house, bar Jamie that is as at least they tried to avoid sniping and bitching at each other in his presence.

“What the fuck did they argue about?” Sam whispered to Katie at lunch on the fifteenth day of their feud, watching as the two men were moving stiffly round one another in the kitchen. “Surely he can’t be that pissed Steve’s intending on taking the stone’s back.” “I dunno.” Katie shrugged, taking a deep breath. “But I can’t keep going like this, it’s driving me insane.” “Do we need to stage an intervention?” Sam quipped, watching as Bucky moved to pour himself some coffee, Steve backing out of the way, not looking at him. “Or maybe they just need to have a fight, get it out of their system.” Katie cocked her head to one side and eyed up the two men. She wasn’t blind, and whilst she found Steve utterly and ridiculously attractive, she’d be lying if she said she didn’t think Bucky was handsome as well, not to mention his physique. Steve was bigger and broader than Bucky who was an inch or so shorter and a little more wiry but that was hardly surprising. Steve was built for fighting, for force, for war…Bucky on the other hand was built for agility and speed, for being an assassin who could operate in the shadows, but he was no less of a match for Steve, in fact he was the only man she’d ever seen hold his own against her husband in a toe to toe fight.  As she watched Steve reach into the cupboard for some bread, his jaw was clenching slightly, his cheek twitching from the angry nerve and she suddenly felt the heat pooling between her legs.

Fucking hormones.

“You know, I think that’s a great idea.” She grinned, turning to Sam. “Naked mud fighting, winner takes all, including me.” Sam spluttered out his coke, choking slightly before he threw his head back in a roar of laughter. The two super soldiers paused what they were doing and turned to face the pair of them. Katie was sat in a seat, grinning as she sipped her glass of apple juice whilst Sam was struggling to regain his composure.

“What’s so funny?” Bucky demanded.

“You two acting like a pair of school kids who have fallen out over who gets the first slice of pie.” Katie looked at him then to Steve. “Grow up.” “Me grow up?” Steve looked at her, frowning

“Yes, Steven,” her face now stern as she glared at the pair of them, “I don’t give a shit what you’ve been arguing about, and I don’t even want to know, but this stops, right now otherwise you’re gonna get the full brunt of one of my tantrums. And I’m pregnant and hormonal so it ain’t gonna be pretty.” Bucky couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at the look of utter horror on Steve’s face. To be fair he’d only experienced her temper once when she had forced him and Sam to share a room in Germany. And he had to admit she’d been pretty scary. He rolled his eyes and looked at his friend, taking a deep breath.

“I still think you’re being a dumbass.” He sighed softly “But what else is new huh? Least I ain’t having to punch Tommy Leipschitz this time. Jesus he was a big son of a bitch.” “That was one time.” Steve groaned, “And I told you, I…” “Had him on the ropes.” Katie and Bucky said at the same time as Steve let out a groan and hung his head.

Katie watched as the two men exchanged a look before she glanced at her watch, giving a start “Stevie we need to go, we’ll be late for Dr Kellet…” she stood up. “Oh, shit, yeah…” he nodded, draining his mug.

Katie headed off to get her jacket and he clapped Bucky on the shoulder as his friend gave him a questioning look. “Twelve week scan.” Bucky nodded, his lips clamped together. He wanted to ask the stupid bastard how he was continuing to act so normal, as if he wasn’t planning on doing something utterly ridiculous, but he bit it down. It wasn’t worth stressing Katie out. Plus, despite himself, he loved the guy like a brother. If this was what he truly wanted to do, no matter who stupid it was, then…

“Make sure you bring back a copy of the photo.” Sam smiled as he walked past “Uncle Sammy wants to see his future godson or daughter.”

Steve smiled, they’d not discussed the roles of godparents in any detail with anyone but each other. They’d already decided though, Katie wanted Jennifer, Brooke’s mom, to be one as the two were very close, and it was a given Sam and Bucky would get the roles of godparents too.  But as he thought, he had an idea.

“Honey,” he said, following her, “hey, I’ve just had a thought…” “Did it hurt?” she teased as he opened the door for her. He rolled his eyes.

“Why don’t we ask Jennifer and Brooke over tonight? I thought maybe we could ask them all to be godparents.”

She smiled. “You trying to get round Bucky?”

“No.” he shook his head, honestly. “Just thought it would be nice.” He opened the car door for her and she smiled and leaned up to give him a peck on the cheek.

“I think it’s a great idea. We can drop by the coffee shop on the way home.”

**** “Well, everything seems absolutely fine.” Dr Kellet beamed and Katie let out the breath she hadn’t been aware she’d been holding. “Nothing to worry about, baby is growing exactly how he or she should.”

Katie turned to Steve who gave her a smile as he gently pressed a kiss to her hand where it was held in his.

“Can you tell what it is yet?” Katie looked at Dr Kellet and the woman gave a little frown.

“Well, if you believe the nub theory I can, but there’s no scientific proof behind it so I wouldn’t like to say.”

“The nub theory?” Steve frowned.

“Yes, some people believe that you can predict the sex based on the angle of the genital tube.” Dr Kellet says. “Also known as the angle of the dangle.”

At that Katie gave a snort and Steve let out a low sigh, shaking his head at her childishness.

“There are some theories, that before the genitals are formed there’s a bump or nub called the genital tubercle.” The Doctor pointed to the relevant point on the screen. “So, here, you can see it’s lying flat so some would believe that means it’s a girl, but honestly, it’s way too early to tell. You’re just gonna have to wait till the twenty week mark to be sure.”

“So no rushing out and buying a load of pink baby things?” Katie looked at her and the woman shook her head.

“I wouldn’t. Sometimes the theory is right, sometimes it’s wrong, so it really is just guess work.” The woman leaned over and wiped the ultrasound jelly off Katie’s stomach before she discarded the paper towel into the waste and smiled. “I’ll get you a copy of the scan photo and then I’ll see you in about eight weeks.”

Scan photo safely in Katie’s purse they headed out of the hospital, hand in hand, Steve opening the car door for his wife before he headed round to the driver’s side, setting off into the summer sun.

“You know, if it is a girl, then I want to name her after Natasha.” Katie spoke softly, looking out of the car window before she turned to Steve. He stole a glance at her, smiling.

“Yeah?”

“One of her names anyway.” Her hand rest on her stomach. “Don’t suppose you have any thoughts?” “Well, we kinda used our quote of boy’s names on Jamie.” He took a deep breath, “Although I do like the name Henry.”

“Henry.” Katie chewed the name over, smiling. “Yeah, that’s cute. And for a girl?”

“If it’s a girl then I’d like to name her after my mom.”

“Sarah Natasha?” Katie asked, smiling softly, but Steve shook his head as he stopped at the lights.

“No.” He turned to face her. “I know this sounds stupid but, well, Sarah Rogers, it was her name and I’m not sure I want there to be another one, you know, and there’s nothing we can really shorten Sarah to either so…”

Katie smiled and lay her hand on his knee. “Okay, so we got Sarah Natasha as middle names for a girl and Henry as a potential for a boy…”

“Well, it’s a start I suppose, more than we had with Jamie.” Steve smiled.

“More than you had with Jamie.” She looked at him. “I knew from the start I wanted the name James.”

Steve took a deep breath, before he leaned over and pressed a kiss to her lips. “I love you, you know that right?” His hand gently strayed to her belly. “All of you.” “Of course I do.” She frowned a little. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just wanted to tell you.” He gave her a smile before he set off again down the street.

It wasn’t long before they reached Jennifer’s shop and they walked in, the woman beaming as she saw them. They took a seat and it wasn’t long before she walked over with their usual order, and Katie handed her the scan photo.

“Oh my god look!” Jennifer gushed. Katie smiled at Steve who leaned back sipping his coffee, simply watching before his phone started to ring. Excusing himself he stood up.

“Bruce?”

“It’s ready.” The man stated simply “The tunnel.” “Already?” Steve gulped. Despite the fact it had already taken slightly longer than predicted, it was still too soon.  He wasn’t ready to leave, it wasn’t enough time.

“Yeah.” Bruce replied, “But there’s no rush, I mean another few days won’t hurt.” “No.” Steve shook his head, glancing over at Katie who was still talking to Jennifer, the two women laughing and giggling, now joined by Emmy and Brooke who had turned up after school. “Let’s get it over with. Tomorrow morning?”

“Alright, let me know what time and I’ll meet you at the compound. Well, what’s left of it that is. We can set up on the hill.”

“Sure, see you then.” Steve replied. Biting his lip he placed his phone back into his pocket and made his way back to the table.

“Everything ok?” Katie asked.

“Yeah, just Bruce.” He said, giving her a look. She took a deep breath and nodded, understanding.

“Listen,” she turned her attention back to Jennifer as Brooke took the scan photo from Emmy and grinned. “Why don’t you come for dinner tonight? You can meet Sam and Bucky, properly I mean.”

“Erm,” Jennifer looked at Brooke “You got any plans?” “None that can’t be cancelled for Mrs R’s cooking!” Brooke grinned and Jennifer rolled her eyes.

“I swear to God that’s all I get every time you feed her.” she said and Katie grinned.

“Bring your dad too if you like?” Katie smiled. Brooke’s grandfather, a slight man called John, had been one of the Vanished that had returned.

“Oh he’s on a date.” Jennifer grinned. “Some woman he met at one of the support groups Steve has been running for the returned.”

“See mom, even Grand-poppy is dating.” Brooke looked at Jennifer, raising her eyebrows. “You need to get yourself out there.” “Are you sure you’re okay?” Katie looked at Steve as Jennifer groaned at Brooke. He was in his own world.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He fixed what he hoped was a believable smile on his face before he looked at his watch. “We best get going, pick Jamie up from nursery.”

**** Katie knew Steve was lying. She could read him like a book, after all those years of being together it wasn’t hard for her to spot when something was bothering him. And later that evening he finally gave in and told her, Bucky and Sam about Bruce’s call and the fact the tunnel was ready for him to take the stones back.

And that he was going to do that sooner rather than later. Much sooner.

“Tomorrow?” Katie looked down, her eyes misting over.

Steve nodded and reached out for his wife’s hand over the table. “I want to get it over and done with.”

Taking a deep breath she looked up at him, her head reeling. “I know but I thought we’d have more time, to prepare. I mean-“

“Don’t, Sweetheart.” Steve sighed. “This is the reason I didn’t tell you sooner, because it would just make you worry.” “Oh, well, now I’m not worried at all.” She replied, sarcastically, folding her arms.

Before Steve could say anything else, the security alarm sounded telling them someone was at the gate.

“I’ll go.” Bucky stood up as Katie pressed the button on her phone to open the entrance to the drive taking the opportunity to escape, the conversation was taking a turn and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep his mouth shut.

“Hey Mr Barnes!” Brooke smiled as he opened the door.

“It’s Bucky, kid.” He gruffed. “How many times do I gotta tell ya. Mr Barnes was my dad.”

“Whatever.” She passed him and Jennifer sighed.

“Sorry, she’s,” she shook her head laughing, “actually I don’t know what she is.”

But Bucky wasn’t listening, he was too busy taking in the red-head in front of him. He’d never met the woman before, granted he’d seen her in a photo that Katie had in the smaller den, one of the pair of them on a night out but, well, it didn’t do her justice. Her hair was set in loose curls, her eyes were a vivid green and her smile lit up her face. He coughed a little and shook himself out of his stupor and smiled, stepping back.

“I’m Jennifer.” She offered,

“Yeah, I know, I mean, ” he scratched his head, “Katie’s spoken about you. All good things, of course.” he added.

She gave him a small quirk of her lips and stepped past him as he closed the door. Mentally telling himself to get a grip, Bucky followed her into the kitchen.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Steve pleaded as Sam stood up and headed to the fridge after shooting Steve one more glance which made it clear he thought he was an idiot.

Katie simply shook her head. “You know what, there’s no point arguing with you so whatever.” She stood up, wiping at her tears. She had so much she wanted to say, to tell him he was an idiot, but she didn’t have the energy. He would do it anyway, and she’d be stood there for those horrible moments he was gone wondering if he was going to make it back, or if she’d lose someone else.

“Hi!” Jennifer’s smile faltering as she noticed Katie wipe her eyes “You okay?”

“Hormones…” Katie waved her hands dismissively as Bucky shot Steve another glare. He returned it with one of his own, shaking his head as Katie introduced Jennifer to Sam and set about making sure everyone was comfortable, playing the expert hostess.

Somehow she made it through dinner although she had no idea how. She had no alternative, she didn’t want Emmy or Jamie to pick up on the fact something was wrong.  As planned, they’d asked the Sam, Bucky and Jennifer to be god parents and they’d all accepted, happily. The food was good, the conversation was happy and filled with laughter at times but when the guests had gone and Jamie was in bed and the dishes were cleared away, Katie excused herself and headed upstairs for a shower.

“Is mom okay?” Emmy watched her leave. Bucky gave a snort.

“She’s just tired.” Steve ignored him. “It’s been a long day. Look, I’m gonna call it a night. Don’t stay up too late, another hour tops. You have school in the morning.” “Okay, Dad.”

He dropped a kiss to her head. “Love you.” His breath caught in his throat before he headed upstairs. He made his way into Jamie’s room, tucking the covers up around his son’s chin and simply looked at him. There, for the first time ever he could see what Katie meant when she said he looked like him. The sudden realisation made the tears spring into Steve’s eyes which he hastily wipe. He dropped a kiss to Jamie’s soft blonde hair.

“Love you, son.” And with that he headed into their bedroom.

Katie was already in bed, the lights off. He stripped off his clothes and settled in behind her, his hands wrapping around her from behind.

“Baby, please, don’t be mad.” He said softly, his hand laying over her stomach as he kissed her neck.

She turned to look at him, tears trickling down her cheek. “I’m not mad Steve, I’m fucking petrified that I’m gonna lose you too.” “It’ll work out.” Steve replied, weakly, unable to think of anything else he could utter.

“You keep saying that, but how do you know?”

Steve stayed silent, wiping her tears with his thumbs before, with a surge, she leaned forward and kissed him, her hands reaching up to tangle in his hair and he gave a soft moan, relishing her touch, knowing full well she was trying to distract herself. And he was more than happy to oblige.

She rolled over onto her back, his hand straying up the side of the t-shirt she was wearing, fingers squeezing at her hips, the hips he could draw from memory.

“You best come back to me.” She whispered, her voice cracking slightly.

“Doll,” Steve choked out, shaking his head, his words dying in his throat as he kissed her furiously once more and she moaned softly into his mouth as her hands moved down his back, nails scratching slightly on his skin. They broke apart long enough for him to remove her shirt and his mouth trailed down her jaw to her neck, across her collar bone as he took his time, his affections continuing all over her body, committing every god damned line, curve, blemish and scar further into his memory.

When neither of them could take it anymore, he rolled over, bringing her with him, straddling him. She locked eyes with him and moved, her hand giving him a few strokes before she sank down, taking him in, both letting out a groan. Steve held her hips as she moved, finding her rhythm as she worked him, her head tipping back as she moved slowly. He wanted to see her, be face to face, so he sat up, drawing a soft cry from her lips at the change of angle. His hands moved from her hips, to her ass, then to her back as his mouth gently moved to her neck, hitting that spot he knew so well, then down to her breasts, nipping and sucking at them each in turn.

“Stevie,” she muttered, a soft, low keen of his name and he groaned a little louder. His name, the name she used, said in such away, it almost broke his heart when he thought about what he was about to do.

“Look at me,” he stammered gently, his nose nudging hers and her green eyes locked onto his, “I love you, Doll, so much.” “I love you too.” She stuttered, before her mouth fell open in that exquisite way it did and she let out a soft whimper as she came, tightening around him, collapsing forward, her head burying into the crook of his shoulder and neck. He wasn’t far behind, a few more thrusts upwards and the fireworks in his stomach exploded as he released inside her with a groan.

They stayed still, gathering their breath as he cradled her close, trying to stop the tears that were now threatening to pour down his face as for the first time since he had made his decision, he started to doubt whether or not he was strong enough to go through with it. *****

Late the next morning, up on the hill by the ruins of the compound the small group gathered around the Quantum Tunnel. Steve, clad in his uniform, checked the stones were all in the case, as Bruce calibrated the controls and spoke to him.

“Now, remember, you have to return the stones to the exact moment we got them. Or you’re gonna open up a bunch of nasty alternative realities.”

“Don’t worry, Bruce. Clip all the branches.” Steve nodded, closing the case.

“You know, I tried. When I had the gauntlet, the stones, I really tried to bring her back” Bruce sighed softly, looking at Steve. “I miss them, man.”

“We all do.” Katie swallowed, watching the pair of them as Steve gave Bruce a small smile.

“You know, if you want, I can come with you.” Sam tried again as Steve walked towards the tunnel.

“You’re a good man, Sam.” Steve smiled at him, sincerely. “This one’s on me, though.”

He took a deep breath and walked over to Bucky, who was watching him.

“Don’t do anything stupid ‘till I get back.” Steve quipped, and despite himself, Bucky looked away a smile playing on his face.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” He said back, quietly as he swallowed.

Steve stepped forward to give him a hug.

“You’re gonna miss us buddy.” Bucky said quietly and Steve stepped back, looking at his friend

“It’s gonna be okay, Buck.” He assured him with a nod. Then he turned to his wife who was stood watching. His gorgeous girl, her eyes shining as she stepped forward into his arms.

“I love you,” she whispered, her voice cracking, “come back or I’ll never forgive you.” Steve couldn’t speak, he simply couldn’t find the words. Instead, he kissed her, long, soft, the familiar feeling of her lips on his was both heaven and hell at the same time. Eventually he pulled away, gave her one last smile before he stepped up onto the platform, the Quantum Suit forming around him.

“How long is this gonna take?” Sam asked as Katie moved over to where Bucky was, the soldier gently placing his arm around her, giving her a squeeze.

“For him? As long as he needs. For us? Five seconds.” Bruce said.

As long as he needs…the words echoed in Steve’s mind as he bent down with a shaky breath and picked up Mjolnir, the hammer having been bequeathed to him by Thor to return.  

“Ready, Cap?”

Steve nodded again, although he was anything but. “Alright. We’ll meet you back here, okay?”

“You bet.” He nodded, and it wasn’t technically a lie. He stole a look at Katie one last time as the helmet formed around his head.

“Going quantum. Three, two, one.“

Steve closed his eyes as he disappeared into the Quantum portal.

Bucky felt Katie stiffen besides him and his arm tightened around her as Bruce tapped away at the keyboard again.

“And returning in, five, four, three, two, one– “

Katie watched with bated breath, but Steve didn’t reappear.

“Where is he?” She managed to breathe out, looking at Bruce, stepping forward slightly.

“I don’t know. He blew right by his time stamp. He should be here.” Bruce shook his head, his voice earnest.

Katie felt sick, the entire world around her swam and she looked down at her feet, the earth was spinning below them.

“Well, get him back.” Sam instructed as Katie began to reel.

“Something’s gone wrong. It had to have done.” She swallowed. “Bruce, fix it, please!”

“I’m trying. “Bruce replied, but as he tapped at the buttons something suddenly clicked in Katie’s mind and a horrible realisation crashed over her, sinking o the depth of her stomach like a brick. She spun to see Bucky was watching her, his face wracked with guilt as he turned away from the pad.  

Absolutely nothing had gone wrong, quite the opposite in fact. This was Steve’s plan all along. He’d done this on purpose.

Sam’s demands at Bruce to bring Steve back, and the scientist protests that he was trying raged through the clearing but Katie wasn’t listening. Her eyes remained locked on Bucky’s as she stepped forward, grabbing his shoulder.

“You knew…” She looked at him, accusingly and Bucky swallowed, guilt wracking his system as he sighed, looking at his feet.

“I’m sorry, I tried to talk him out of it.” “He’s, he’s really gone back?” Katie whispered, her voice cracking.

Bucky took a deep breath and nodded.

“No he wouldn’t do that.” Katie shook her head, desperately. “Not to the kids…tell me he wouldn’t!” Her hands grasped at Bucky’s jacket, desperately, as she looked up at him, tears coursing down her cheeks. “Please…Bucky, tell me this-”

“Wait! I’m…we got something!”

Bruce’s voice cut loudly across Katie’s demands and both her and Bucky turned to see him punching a few more buttons on the console. Before their eyes, the machine whirred to life again, and a man suddenly appeared in the middle of the platform, the shield on his arm giving away his identity. Steve’s Quantum Suit peeled away to leave him stood in his blue, red and white and Katie instantly noticed his hair was longer than she had ever seen it, there were more lines on his handsome face, and he once more had a full beard. She let go of Bucky and turned to look at her husband for a moment, mouth hanging open in shock, tears still falling as he gave her a small and weary, yet relieved smile.

“Hey, Doll.” Katie couldn’t breathe. Shakily, she turned and walked up the steps onto the platform and simply stared at him through her tears. His eyes were full of their own, unshed, as his shaking hands fell to her waist and he took a quivering breath. “I missed you.” Steve’s voice trembled as his eyes roved her face. “How…how long?” She managed to stutter out, reaching up to cup his cheek with an unsteady hand. “Fifteen.” He swallowed. “Fifteen months?” Katie gasped “No, Doll. Years.” At that Katie’s teary eyes widened further. “I don’t…what? Fifteen years?” “It’s been hell without you.” Steve’s voice cracked, the tears now falling from his eyes and then he couldn’t stand it any longer. He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her, deeply before a soft sob from him made her pull away. “I don’t understand?” She sniffed, her head pressing to his. “Why?” “At Tony’s funeral I saw Pepper and it got me thinking about how much of her life she has left and,” he took a deep breath, “the thought of me being here, having to say goodbye to you thanks to this serum and then having another twenty years to go, it killed me.” “So you took the hit now?” Katie suddenly understood, her breathing deep, chest rising and falling deeply, as her trembling hands cupped his bearded jaw. He nodded. “I knew it would be easier knowing I had you to come back to. When I asked you to marry me, I said I wanted all my lasts to be with you.” Steve choked a little as his voice cracked, the words caught in his throat. “And I meant it. I wanna grow old with you, and now I can.” The last few words he spoke were swallowed up by his sobbing as he pressed his face into her hands which were still cupping his jaw, a tender, familiar touch, one he had been aching to feel for so fucking long. “We got the rest of our lives.” he managed to choke out between his convulsing gasps, as he pressed his forehead to hers. “Our forever.” “Stevie!” Her face crumpled as once more he pulled her to him, clutching her to his chest and he buried his face in her hair, both of them shaking as they clung to one another as if their lives depended on it.

And maybe, at that moment, it did. 

“Ok, back the fuck up!” Bruce broke the moment. “Sorry to intrude but…”

Steve let out a soft chuckle and he turned to him, his arms still round Katie, shield still strapped to his left. “Sorry guys,” he reached up to wipe his eyes, “it’s been a while. Fifteen years to be exact.”

Sam frowned. “Fifteen years? So did something go wrong, or did something go right?” He crossed his arms.

“You stayed back to counter your slower ageing.” Bruce spoke, his mouth dropping open as Steve stepped down from the platform, hand round Katie’s.

“Well, as much of it as I could.” Steve nodded as Bruce let out a snort.

“And you knew about this?” Sam demanded, looking at Bucky.

Bucky shrugged. 

“No wonder you wanted to go alone.” Sam shook his head, a small smile playing on his face. “Where did you go back to?”

“1955. Ten years after I went into the ice, thought it was enough time for me to be forgotten about.” Steve answered. “Plus, when I spoke to the Ancient One she advised that even though it was a parallel universe, it still wasn’t a good idea to be in a time where another version of Steve Rogers was walking about so…” “But how?” Bruce frowned. “She told me that every time we go back, it creates an alternate reality. How did you-“

“I kept the Time-Stone.” Steve answered. “She said it was foretold, and that as long as I did that, whether I took days, weeks, months or years I was still on the mission so to speak and that fifteen years would suffice. How she knew what I was thinking I’ve no idea but…” 

“So you hid? For fifteen years?” Katie looked at him and he gave her a small smile.

“First rule of hiding, don’t hide.” He licked his lips. “I went to your dad.”

“What?” Katie frowned and Steve took a deep breath.

“Yeah, he couldn’t believe it at first, but I finally convinced him I wasn’t HYDRA or a trick of his imagination and well, he helped me with a new identity and I found a place to stay in Minnesota. I got a job and just stayed off the radar until the time came to take the Time-Stone back. Then, I went back to a second after I left Bleeker Street the first time, and the Ancient One merely smiled and said that what I wanted would now come to pass, so I gave her the stone and came back.”

“So, does this mean that all that time, Dad knew you were alive?”

“No, the timeline reset after I returned the stone. I don’t understand it fully either but The Ancient One told me not to worry about it, apparently somethings are beyond the comprehension of the normal mind.” He smiled as Bruce gave a little scoff as he scratched at his chin.

“Must have been a lonely fifteen years.” Steve sighed. “It was hard, yeah, especially knowing what I did and not being able to do anything to stop it for because even if I did it would simply be reset, but the worst bit was being away from the kids,” he turned to Katie, “and you…”

He was welling up again, and Katie shook her head. “You’re an idiot.” She spluttered out between her tears, as the magnitude of just what he had done hit her. He had sacrificed fifteen years of his life so that they could spend their forever together. Because he loved her that much.

It was crazy, it was almost unbelievable, but it was him all over. A self-sacrificing idiot. Her idiot. Her soldier. Her love. 

“I see you brought something back.” Sam nodded to his shield.

“A gift from Howard, which reminds me.” Steve smiled releasing his wife and turning to Sam, pulling it from his arm. “Try it on.”

Sam frowned and looked over to Bucky who nodded, then Katie who smiled and laced her fingers through Steve’s. With a shaky hand, Sam slipped his arm through the straps.

“How does it feel?” Steve watched him, as he moved his arm up and down, feeling the weight of the Vibranium.

“Like it’s someone else’s.” Sam quipped, looking at him

“It isn’t.” Steve insisted. Sam looked down again, taking a deep breath. When he looked back up, Katie could see he was trying to hold back his tears.

“Thank you.” he said, softly “I’ll do my best.”

“That’s why it’s yours.” Steve smiled as he stepped forward and shook Sam’s hand, the most significant handshake he had ever given. The passing of a mantle. 

“Just so you know, birdbrain.” Bucky drawled almost lazily. “I’m not calling you Captain.”

*****

Steve’s reunion with the kids had been emotional. They’d explained to Emmy what he had done, and she’d hit him hard across the face and called him an idiot before she’d melted into his arms, crying. Jamie, however, well, they’d just told him Avengers stuff had made him grow a beard, and the innocence of youth meant he simply accepted it and stated he couldn’t wait until he was older so he could be an Avenger. A thought which scared the shit out of his parents.

It felt odd, but yet not, to Steve, finally being back with his family. It had been a hard fifteen years but he’d simply focussed on why he was doing it, and thrown himself into his life as ‘Steven O’Rourke’ working as an Art Teacher, departing to give back the time-stone the day before he knew his younger self would arrive back in 1970 to get the tesseract, knowing that everything on the timeline would simply span out the way it should.

Now, he was aching for his wife. Emotionally, it had been hell, and physical, well, fifteen years of jerking off had been, frankly, shit in comparison and their reunion didn’t disappoint. Not sure how long he was going to last, he’d made her come once with his fingers, once with his mouth and now, as he was thrusting into her, hands tangled with hers as he held then either side of her head he knew she was close again.

“Baby, I’m not sure,” he began to gasp and he moaned again as she rolled her hips upwards slightly.

She leaned her head forward, tilting her mouth to gently nip at his neck and whispered three words into his ear. “I got you.” They were words he had spoken to her so many times over the years, three words that told her he would always look after her and the sound of her saying them to him made him lose it.

“Fuck,” he said, his hips stuttering and as she arched into him further he heard her gasp his name again as she tightened around him and fell backwards against the pillow, her breathing deep, as he rode out his release. 

Her hands slid into his hair, her fingers brushing his longer hair back off his head as he pressed his forehead to hers, gently rubbing their noses together.

“You need a haircut.” She whispered and Steve laughed.

“You don’t like my seventies’ do?” he teased

“Yeah but,” she shrugged, “it��s old fashioned.” “So am I.” Steve grinned and she hit his chest gently before he rolled off her, falling to his side, facing her. After giving her another soft kiss she turned over, her back pressing to his chest and he scooted up behind her, hands falling to her stomach and they lay still for a while, as he buried his head into her neck. God he’d missed this. Missed her. The way she smelt, the way she felt…

“You can keep the beard though.” Katie murmured. “You’re not Captain America anymore, no need to murder it again.”

Steve laughed before he kissed her neck again and closed his eyes, his arms not once letting go of his precious, precious hold.

And for the first time in fifteen years Steve Rogers slept soundly.

**** Epilogue

 **Original Posting**

[myblueeyedbuggers]

My Boys

Chapter 9

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Pairings: Reader x Steve Rogers (best friend) Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 1851

Warnings: Slow Start, Language, Tiny bit of Fluff

Summary: After being abandoned by her parents in Brooklyn in 1929, y/n makes a living for herself by working for the Црни лабуд gang until she meets two boys in a back alley and her life slowing begins to change

So, hi again…I’m gonna be completely honest I’ve practically had no time to sit down and write for the past couple of weeks, college rained down tons of assignments and work kept asking me to do extra shifts. Hopefully you all understand the delay in updates, I’m determined to finish this book for you all, anyways I’ll shut up Enjoy 😊

Whoever decided to wake me up and drag me away from the glorious land of sleep will suffer my early morning wrath, slowly I opened my eyes and the outline of two very stupid and annoying boys filled my vision. “Have you two never heard the saying don’t tickle a sleeping dragon? I quite clearly need my beauty sleep!” why is it every time I threaten to murder these two they just start laughin’? what the hell is wrong with em?!, “ Well good mornin’ to you too doll face, as much as I’d like to stay here and trade threats mama wants you outta bed for breakfast so get ya butt moving” My eyes narrowed at Bucky as he started to follow Steve outta the room, the smirk on his face widening as I reluctantly moved out of bed.

I’ve only been here a week and I’ve nearly killed him at least 50 times, wait that’s not something I should be proud of is it? in my defence Barnes can be a right little shit when he wants to be! Two days ago, he thought it’d be funny to drench me with water in the middle of the day, it’s safe to say he didn’t climb down the tree for a fair few hours. The smell of bacon and pancakes made me completely forget whatever the hell I was talking about, I shouldn’t have rushed pulling my pants on cause my dumbass failed to see that the left leg got caught on the draw knob and I was once again hugging the floor with my bloody face. Great that didn’t hurt at all!

Right let’s check for damage, bruises? Nope scratches? Nope pride and dignity? That went a long time ago who am I kidding? “Y/N You comin down or what?!” Jesus Christ that boy has a voice like a flipping fog horn, I wouldn’t be surprised if they heard Steve in queens! “Yeah give me a minute will ya! No need to get your panties in a twist Stevie” I’m pretty sure I can hear Becca and Bucky laughin’ from up here. Okay enough time’s been spent getting dressed, at this rate the boys will have inhaled all the food…the thought alone is enough to terrifying!  

“Right you lads better of left me at least one pancake and 3 strips of bacon or they’ll be hell to pay later” as a rule most people say good morning but I like to start the day with a decent dashing of threats and insults, cause I’m a friendly person…okay nope that’s a big pile of bullc**p and I know it. “Well mornin to you too y/n, the pancakes are on the table and the bacons on Bucks plate feel free to take some” a muffled sound of protest could be heard over my laughter as Bucky shot Steve a look of utter disbelief. “I think I’ll skip on the bacon then Stevie, by the looks of it Bucks already drooled all over it” Steve and I shared a look before we burst out laughing, Buck was glaring at the both of us with syrup dribbling down his chin and I gotta be honest it looked hilarious. “You guys done laughin’ at me yet or would you like to gang up on me some more?” is this boy dumb or somethin’? “Buck, I’d be on my deathbed and my final words would be some form of insult towards you”.

And there I go signing my death sentence again, at this point Steve wasn’t even on his chair anymore, instead he was lying on the floor completely pissin’ himself laughing while Bucky slowly stood up and started walking round the table. “Oh would you look at the time! Gotta go guys my appointment with the grim reaper’s in a minute!” hey y/n maybe it’s time you start running?! With a small shriek I turned and bolted out the backdoor with a pretty pissed off Barnes boy on my tail. The sunlight blinded me for a couple of seconds, so I was kinda running without knowing what was around me…and as per usual life decided to firmly kick my ass using the form of a bloody tree. A sharp stinging sensation spread across my entire face, huh reminds me of when I ran into that door…only that didn’t hurt half as much and there wasn’t an annoying brunette prick absolutely creasing with laughter behind me. I’m pretty sure that in the process of the tree b**tch slappin’ me I cut the left side of my cheek…oh would you look at that there’s the blood that should have stayed inside me, I couldn’t stop the small groan of pain that slipped outta my mouth, the lower half of my back was more than likely battered to all hell and the stinging in my cheek wasn’t helping either.

Apparently, the sound of my suffering seemed to break the idiot outta his little laughin’ session, I raised my eyebrows at him when it finally dawned on him that I hurt myself and that was pretty funny, all the colour drained from Bucky’s face, his eye’s widened when he noticed the lovely new edition to my face and pretty soon he reached a hand out to help me up. Such a gentleman… that’s if you replace the gentle bit with idiotic. The second I was on my feet, he pulled me into a hug and began checking my face and head, I’m hoping to god he can’t see my flamin’ cheeks cause I know for a fact he would never let me live that down. To be completely honest all I could concentrate on was the gentle touch on his hands on my cheek and the look on Bucky’s face, his eyes were completely focused on my cut. How have I never noticed that his eyes have the smallest flecks of green in them? Or how his dimples show when he frowns?… more importantly why do I feel both excited and terrified but somehow warm at the same time?

My little daze was broken when I realised that his lips were movin’ and I had no idea what the hell he just said, but he must of asked me a question cause he was lookin’ at me waitin’ for his answer. Bollocks. “What’d you say Buck?” Jesus Christ could I have been anymore obvious?! Maybe I should make a giant banner and smack him in the face with it, oh for godsake am I blushin’ again?!, the small smirk on his face grew into a sh*t eating grin as he threw his arm around my shoulders and dragged me back to the house. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say that you y/n were completely blow away by the masterpiece that is my face” oh great I’ve managed to inflate his ego even more, “Actually I wasn’t gonna say anythin’ but you’ve got a little somethin’ stuck in your front teeth” and just like that all the cockiness drained outta his body.

The arm around my shoulder disappeared rather quickly, to my amusement the boy next to me did as well, I could feel the little smirk on my face as I carried on walkin’ forward as he stayed behind more than likely doin’ that cute stupid thing with his eyes. Wait what did I just say?! What the heck is wrong with me these days? Its like a flippin’ alien’s taken over me and made me into a normal girl! .It feels all kinds of wrong. A sudden cough disrupts my inner monologue, my eyes roll to the sky as the smirk reappears on my face, I can’t help the laugh that escapes me when my gaze meets Bucky’s. He was stood with his hands on his hips, his eyes narrowed as I continued to laugh and slowly his face formed a pout as he waited for me to finish completely wetting myself with laughter. “You done yet?” his brow was pulled in as he tried to fight off the smile, “Do I actually have somethin’ in my teeth or were you just being a bully?”.

“Nah, just needed to keep your ego in check before it inflated and carried you away into the wind” Buck looked like I’d just shot him in the chest, I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughin’ at him as I turned and started walkin’ back to the house. “Ya know you can be a real piece of work when ya wanna be don’t ya?” thank you captain obvious! “I know I am, you know I do it out of love don’t ya?” I shot him a small smile as I wrapped an arm around his back and pulled him in for a side hug, Bucky shook his head with a small smile, but accepted the hug anyway. After that we stayed in a comfortable silence as we walked back towards the house, his arm never pulled away from me till we got inside, that was until Mrs Barnes walked into the kitchen and saw the cut on my cheek, to simply put it she completely freaked out.

I watched her quickly shoo everyone outta the kitchen, she somehow managed to pull a chair out and sit me down while grabbing a towel and bandages, question after question was fired at me while she gently started cleaning to cut. After a while the conversation died out, Mama B was completely fixated on cleaning the cut and if I’m honest the silence was peaceful, well it was for the 5 seconds it lasted.

Bucky burst through the door lookin’ like someone was trying to murder him, not that I could blame them, 2 seconds later Steve and Becca burst through the door armed with…wait is that eyeshadow and lipstick? I watched as Bucky backed into the corner, his eyes wide as he begged them both of them for mercy, whatever he did to piss the pair off clearly warranted this man hunt and there is no way in hell I wanted to stop it just before it got good. Soon enough Becca and Steve some how managed to pin down Buck, and despite the many protests, the pair managed to smear the lipstick all over his face and dump most of the eyeshadow in his hair.

I tried my hardest not to laugh I swear, but he looked like a very disturbed and demented fairy princess and I couldn’t hold it in anymore, soon enough we were all having a little laugh at the poor bloke, eventually Buck saw the funny side of it and he too joined in with the mess that was the Barnes family.

So, I’m gonna be honest here this is more of a filler chapter/character development hopefully it didn’t suck as much as I think it did XD Okay I’ll stop rambling, Thanks for reading!

Rose Xxx

[candychronicles]

let me take care of you // a. tamaki

A/N: My trade fic for the absolutely talented @voidsorceress​ ! Thank you so much for being amazing and being patient!

CHARACTER PAIRING: Tamaki Amajiki x Reader

WORD COUNT: 1,782

WARNINGS: soft, sweet smut, mentions of feeling worthless 

SYNOPSIS: After a failed solo mission, you were feeling less than worthy, adopting your boyfriends pessimistic outlook on life. Tamaki was more than determined to change your feelings, however. 

TAGS: @katsukisprincess​

heavy breaths were the only thing that could be heard as the group of pro-heros, big and small, fanned out, surrounding the building and successfully completing the mission, a mission that was supposed to be yours and yours alone. you could feel disappointment bubbling up in your chest, threatening to choke you, but you held your head high anyways, doing what was necessary to put on a brave face and continue to work.

things hadn’t gone as expected, there were just too many villains to canvas, too many people to keep track of, and when you were almost caught, you realized that the mission wouldn’t be successful without the cooperation of others, and so, with a heavy heart, you called for reinforcements.

the mission was supposed to be your big debut, your first job that could really help you showcase what you were made of, but the overall success of the mission came first. people had reassured you multiple times that you did the right thing, that everything went smoothly, that no one could’ve anticipated so many extra people there, that the mission you were given wasn’t what was presented to you and so that you truly didn’t fail, but none of that mattered. all that you saw, all that you felt, was someone who didn’t deserve to be a pro hero.

you managed to trudge yourself up the stairs into the shared condo of you and your boyfriend, pro-hero Suneater aka Tamaki Amajiki. if you were to think about a truly strong and admirable pro, you would see Tamaki’s face, brighter and bigger than the sun itself. despite all of his confidence issues, despite his pessimistic outlook on life and his general anxiety in social situations, he overcame it all to become truly strong, someone who wouldn’t have failed a mission as simple as that. 

Tamaki instantly noticed something was wrong when he looked at your crestfallen face. usually, he was the one coming home, defeated and distraught, and you were the one to make him smile and feel better, running your fingers through his hair and whispering soft words of encouragement. he had no idea what to do in this situation. sure, you’ve been sad before, but not like this, not looking like there was nothing anybody could do to make you feel better. 

“bunny?” he questioned softly, putting his book down and standing up from the table. “are you o-okay?”

“i’m fine tama, i’m just going to shower and go to sleep,” you monotonically replied, looking right through him, mechanically turning your body away from his worried gaze and heading into the bedroom. 

Tamaki was never one to push, never one to pry into other people’s lives, especially knowing he had his own issues he needed to work on, but you were different. you were someone he wanted to help and make feel better, he craved your smile, your praise, your love. that’s why he couldn’t simply accept your answer, couldn’t let you go to bed with a frown on your pretty little lips.

“let me join you.”

you turned your head to look at him, the first real amount of emotion gracing your face all night: relief. 

“sure, thank you,” you agreed softly, stopping in your tracks and waiting for him to join you.

he hurried to your side, wrapping an arm around your waist and guiding you towards the bathroom. he made you sit on the toilet as he turned on the water, waiting for the perfect temperature. you could see it on his face, the nervousness of being so intimate with someone and on his own request, too, had him nearly shaking, but what you couldn’t understand was that he was nervous more so because he wanted to make sure he made you as happy as possible and didn’t want to fail you there.

clothes gently fell to the floor with a soft thud, eyes never leaving your face except when your shirts were over your heads. he led you gently into the shower, peppering soft kisses all over your face, blush furious and determination strong. suds of soap covered your body, shampoo thick in your hair, the feeling of Tamaki’s fingers working all of it in with gentle fingers hotter than the temperature of the shower. you had attempted to reciprocate, to help him in some way, but he wordlessly pushed your fussy hands down, assuring you over and over again that he was here for you.

you had begun crying sometime during that process, the frustrations of the day truly getting to you, and Tamaki had kissed every bit of sadness away until you were breathless and whiny for another reason all together: lust. you were not sure where this confidence, where this need for you came from, but you were not going to complain in the slightest.

things moved quickly, both wanting to get out of the shower. you sort of dried yourselves off, clothes kicked to the side, door slammed violently open, lips never leaving each other, whines and moans the only thing that could be heard in the otherwise quiet room.

“my love, please, let me take care of you tonight,” he pleaded, pushing you down to the bed, eyes locked onto your own, desire swirling behind his irises. 

you could only nod back, too entranced by the way your boyfriend slowly sunk down on his knees, lips finding purchase between your plush things.

“so, so beautiful,” he murmured, leaving hot, open mouthed kisses up and down your legs, never quite latching onto the one area you were so desperate for him to touch.

“Amajiki, please.”

he instantly complied, making his way back to your slick folds, taking his time to truly admire you.

“you’re so perfect.”

without warning, his mouth clasped onto your swollen and aching bud, moaning at the feeling of you in his mouth. long, slender fingers found their way to your aching hole, pushing one in, then another, moaning yet again as he felt you clench so heavily around his digits. he began alternating between sucking and licking, slowly pumping and curling his fingers in and out of you, doing everything he could to make you feel good. your first orgasm of the night had your toes curling and hands pulling roughly on his hair, but you could tell by the way he lapped up every inch of your throbbing pussy that he was nowhere near done with you, not yet.

you tried yet again to take care of him that night, reaching forward to grasp his cock in your hand, feeling satisfied as he involuntarily bucked his hips, but he removed the hand after a moment, reiterating that he wanted to take care of you, and to please just relax.

he started at your toes, grabbing one and then the other in his hands, kissing and praising your body, moving his way back up your legs, ghosting over your dripping cunt and making his way to your navel.

“you’re so beautiful. i can’t believe you’re mine, i can’t believe that i’ll ever even deserve this, but i want you to know i will spend the rest of my life worshipping you if you’ll have me, because you deserve nothing less,” he murmured into your skin, licking and sucking, leaving light hickies all over your hips and stomach. 

his ministrations continued, moving up to your perky nipples, flicking and pinching one with his right hand and sucking on the left, leaving more hickies again, whispering sweet nothings and praises. his mouth moved yet again, over your collarbones, to your neck, where he bit down on the soft flesh, licking and blowing a cool burst of air, sending shivers straight down your spine, and finally up to your face, peppering you once again with love.

“i love your nose, how it scrunches up when i kiss it. your forehead, and how i can feel you breathe a sigh of relief when i kiss you there. your cheeks, so rosy and sweet. your plump lips,” he paused, reaching down to press a searing kiss to prove his point, “are just so addicting. you’re so addicting. i can’t get enough of you, and i don’t think i ever will.”

“Amajiki…” you whispered, reaching out to cup one of his cheeks with your hand, feeling the burning heat and conviction on his face.

“i love you.”

“i love you too bunny. so damn much. please, let me take care of you.”

you nodded once again, feeling his lips attach to your own once again, feeling the way his breathing got deeper and heavier, how one of his hands reached down to pump himself a few times before lining himself at your entrance, eyes looking into your own, waiting for approval, which you gave with no hesitation.

he entered slowly, painfully so. you wiggled your hips to gain more friction, desperate for yet another release, but he was determined to take his time, make you feel every thrust, every circle of his finger on your clit, every kiss to your body, every praise whispered in your ear. and he was successful. you were a crying, panting mess, overwhelmed by the sheer feeling of Amajiki all over you. 

“you’re doing so good, love, so good, just hold on for me a little longer, please?”

you whined out in agreement, attempting to close your eyes, pleasure consuming your body, but Tamaki grabbed your chin and begged, pleaded for you to look at him. you could see on his face and in his own pupils how much he loved you, how desperate he was for you to understand and after a few more thrusts, the intensity of the situation was too much to bear and you came out with a cry, tears leaking out of your eyes, legs quivering from pure ecstacy.

“yes, bunny, cum for me, you’re so pretty when you cum.”

he watched your face, and as his own release was nearing, nuzzled his face into your neck, biting down softly, coming with his own cry. 

“you were so, so good love. i’m so proud of you. thank you,” he whispered into your neck, peppering kisses over the harsh bite mark he left.

“thank you, Amajiki, so much,” you choked out, too into your emotions to speak more than those words, hoping he understood how much this meant to you.

“i will always take care of you. you will never have to worry about a bad day ever again. i will always be here to comfort you and tell you how good you are, how proud i am of you, how much i love you. how i will love you, forever and always.”

[drwcn]

I can’t wait for more of your discordance au, I’m a sucker for angsty wangxian! I’m actually really curious about what’s going on with Lan Xichen the whole time he’s gone. Is he recovering for all that time or is there some political plot he needs to take care of? I saw that courtesan Meng Yao tag too which makes me even more intrigued 👀👀👀

Awww you guys >:) Thank you so much for the encouragement. 

Unfortunately, Xichen and Huaisang are not a pair. The hidden agenda of this fic is xiyao (lol sorrah), and I know people tend to feel either YAY or NAY about xiyao so I’ve totally separated the wangixan and xiyao part. You can read one without the other and it wouldn’t make much of a difference at all. At best Meng Yao is mentioned in end of the later wangxian parts once or twice. 

I love Xiyao because I think it’s full of possibilities. Obviously canon!xiyao is tragic and problematic af, but this is an au, so... I do ...what I...want? Meng Yao in this au is his own worst nightmare - a courtesan, and Zewu-jun is the handsome polite gentlemanly amnesiac he saves. 

Below cut are more reasons why Lan Qiren longs for the sweet release of an early qi deviation (arc synopsis of lan xichen & meng yao’s half of the story). 

Lan Xichen’s Arc: where politics turned deadly.

Well, just because Wen Ruohan isn’t a thing doesn’t meant the Yin Irons aren’t a thing. Is there political bullshit waiting to happen? Absolutely. Except our protagonists are proactive this time. 

For months, both Qinghe and Gusu have been getting reports of strange sightings along their Lanling borders. NMJ and LXC have been investigating, and they suspect that JGS may have had something to do with it. Prior to Lan Xichen’s disappearance, he was getting close to finding out the truth. 

What happened was this: 

Xue Yang (who will exist solely in other people’s narration) had killed the Changs and taken a piece of the Yin Iron. Upon capture, XXC and SL (both alive and well and doing their own thing) delivered him to the Chief Cultivator, thinking justice has been served. (Lol. no.). Once JGS got his hands on one of those, he began to plan world domination bad things with it and shit started acting fucky right away, eliciting the suspicion and subsequent investigations of the Lans and Nies. 

Jin Guangshan does wonder how his secrets are being leaked, but he doesn’t get to find out until the end. 

Lan Xichen, on his part, is fairly sure of what’s been causing the appearances of these so called “fierce corpses”. He knows about Lan Yi’s barrier in the Cold Cave, and suspects someone has gotten their hands on a piece of the Yin Iron. Both he and Nie Mingjue suspect Jin Guangshan, and have been quietly collecting proof. 

Jin Guangshan, not about to be defeated so easily, sets up a trap and ambushes Lan Xichen during one of his investigations. LXC was in “plain clothes” as part of the investigation, because it’s dumb to go around investigating dressed as the Sect Leader of Gusu Lan, but during the ambush, Lan Xichen loses Liebing and Shuoyue in the process.  The only thing he has on him is Shuoyue’s sheath when he is found by Meng Yao. 

When Lan Xichen wakes up, he doesn’t remember anything or who he is. He sees a pretty young man who introduces himself as Lianfang. Lan Xichen was wearing blue when he was found, so “Liangfang” calls hims A-Lan. 

Meng Yao’s tragic back story that’s actually tragic:

The bullshit - er, the story - as always, starts with Meng Yao getting kicked down the steps at Jinlintai by his Ho™ of a dad Jin Guangshan. In this universe, Jin Guangshan isn’t just a rich powerful Sect Leader, but also the Chief Cultivator. If anything, he has more reason than ever to make sure Meng Yao isn’t around to besmirch his good name (not that he has any good name to bismirch).

Claiming Meng Yao to be a liar, Jin Guangshan ordered his goons to have Meng Yao “taken care of”, but before that could happen, Madam Jin had come out to see what was the commotion. This was Zixuan’s birthday celebration after all, everything had to be perfect. 

What she saw certainly enraged her, but her husband was about to kill a boy, possibly his own son, spill blood on their son’s day of birth celebration. Such cosmic bad karma she couldn’t possibly accept. “You don’t have to kill him, you absolute buffoon, just make sure he never comes back here!” 

She meant buy his silence with money but Jin Guangshan had a more permanent solution.

Before the day’s out, Meng Yao was sold to a brothel, and was told “that’s where you belong”.  Once, perhaps, he had dreamed about gaining the love of his father, but no longer. Now he simply wants his father ruined and dismembered. 

But first he has to live. 

The madam of the brothel had a keen eye for “good merchandise”, and one good look at young Meng Yao with those big eyes, delicate frame and dimples and she knew she could make big bucks off of him. 

(And before anyone asks how old MY is here, the answer is: young. One of the many reasons why I would personally like to volunteer to stab JGS until it looks like he’s been cursed with the Thousand Holes Curse.) 

The first couple of years were decidedly grim for MY. He was kept away from customers (mercifully), but he was a brutally trained in the art of dance and music. They kept him fed enough to dance but not too much to “ruin his figure”. His instructors quickly found that the youth was a quick study and got up no matter how many times he was trampled on (literally and metaphorically). It was no secret that life was gruesome, but Meng Yao survived. Meng Yao made his debut. Meng Yao became famous.

The establishment where he made his debut renamed him Lianfang - to collect/gather fragrance - and so from then on, he became Lianfang-gongzi. Soon, his art (and other stuff) caught the eye of an obliging patron who purchased him from the madam. 

The patron, by all accounts, was a brute of man who had more appreciation for the liquor in his cup than the arts, but he was a cultivator, wealthy enough, connected to many other cultivator gentry familiues, and most importantly, led a subsidiary clan of the Chief Cultivator. As his prized courtesan and dancer, Meng Yao served at his whim, entertained at his parties and made happy his friends, all of whom were practicing cultivators or at the very least connected to the cultivation realm. 

Our evil gremlin would not be our evil gremlin if he didn’t make the best of every situation. Meng Yao quickly discovered that not only was he particularly talented at getting people to divulge information to him, but that men were significantly uninhibited after sex and alcohol. Armed with a sweet face, an eidetic memory, and a hate inside him that longed to see Jin Guangshan severed limp by limp, he began his revenge plot. 

(Here, I took inspiration from Nirvana in Fire’s character Princess Xuanji of the fallen Hua kingdom who was sold into servitude but established Hong’xiu’zhao, a spy network of girls/women who either worked as courtesans or secondary spouses of noblemen. Her goal was to create chaos and dissension within the royal court and government, like mites eating away at a large tree from within.) 

Meng Yao amassed an enormous amount of intels on gentry families and evidences of the many underhanded conducts of the Chief Cultivator himself. He did this through his own work and through the other women working in his network, all of whom have been wrongfully aggrieved in some way. He promised them that one day he would help them to freedom. 

For five years he’s been collecting secrets of gentry families, and had been stirring discord for three, weakening their cohesiveness, and using their growing animosity to weaken Jin Guangshan’s control on his subordinates. Naturally, Meng Yao heard about Xue Yang and the Yin Iron. It was also him who had been drawing attention to it for the other major sects. 

Meng Yao doesn’t know Lan Xichen is the Sect Master of Gusu Lan, but he has no interest in hurting a man from nowhere. “You can stay here with me until you are better. After that, I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to be on your way.”

Physically Lan Xichen recovered quickly, but when it was clear his memories wouldn’t be coming back, Meng Yao allowed him to stay. 

The rest, as they say, is history. 

~

Meng Yao has been Lianfang, been the famed courtesan, for longer than he cares to remember. He’s been had, used, and passed around by so many men that their faces are just blurried sillouettes in his memory. And yet, he’s never felt for a moment that he belonged to any of them, not even his patron, who possessed his contract and could resell him back to a lesser establishment and ruin him in a heartbeat. 

But when A-Lan held him in his eyes, warm and dark like a summer’s night, without judgement or expectations, only gentle sweetness and a fond regard, Meng Yao could almost pretend he was just A-Yao, the name whispered reverently by those soft lips. The hand that held his moved to stroke his cheek, almost shy, and Meng Yao realized with a fearful pang that if this man from nowhere with nothing were to ask, Meng Yao could most definitely become his. 

The thought scared him more than he was willing to admit. 

~

The message delivered by the pigeon was clear. Meng Yao crumbled the slip of paper in his hand, then set it aflame in the candlelight. 

The man who’s been living with him for the past four months, who he knew as A-Lan, who he trusted enough to take to bed, was the Sect Master of Gusu Lan: Lan Huan, Lan Xichen.

Zewu-jun.  

Everyone, even a non-cultivator such as himself, has heard of Gusu’s Wei Wuxian, Lan Xichen’s young widower, left alone after not even six months of marriage. 

But if even he wasn’t married, Lan Xichen could never accept him as he was, no matter now much his personal desire wanted him. 

His hands shook. He balled them into fists. 

Meng Yao should’ve known... he should’ve known it was too good to be true. 

No matter, he told himself. This too, is an opportunity, perhaps the only one I will ever have. I will use it to destroy Jin Guangshan once and for all. 

~

Lan Xichen made his way to the window, and gazed out into the courtyard where A-Yao was reading under the willow tree. 

You should go home, a voice inside him said. Go home to relief Wangji of his burden, to release Wuxian from his mourning. Go back to the seat of Sect Master and the responsibilities waiting for you. 

One more day, another voice fought back. Just one more day. 

He doesn’t leave for another month. 

[lilywoood]

You’ve got a mail Part 3/?

Hi so after hours of debating if I should post or delete part 3 I decided that I was going to post it, I hope it’ll be as good as the sneak peek I gave you and that I didn’t make you wait too much, I hope y’all like it and don’t hesitate to hit my ask box if you want to be tagged or if you want to get more sneak peeks ♥️!

Tag list : @diazbuckleysworld @translucent-bisexual @cherishingstydia @felicitous-one @comablog2 @justsmilestuffhappens @gxtop @chrrlees @hardychick89 @jb-ap-94 @chioink @peroquenotevean @tk-carlosforlifex @nighting-gale17 @fyeahhipsterdoctor @leslilupe @anthony-e-stark-3000 @haderofthesociety @iamonlyaliveformalex @wearelosersyoudumbfuck @serena040506 @multi-fandom-writing @my-name-i-we

Words count : 1571

Song : Bang Bang - Nancy Sinatra

Sleeping was more penance than relief as he couldn’t close his eyes without being constantly haunted, tortured, reminded by how much his teammates, his family hated him, haunted by the sound of their laughs, by the impact of their insults, by the venom of their remarks.

He couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop tormenting himself, couldn’t prevent his mind to play his days, all the overheard conversations, and not so discreet whispers on loop in his head, he couldn’t help but remember their faces, their snarls every time he entered a room, he couldn’t help but hear their voices… his voices, as he was told over and over again that he wasn’t needed, wanted, that it was too bad the ladder truck hadn’t crushed his whole body…

He prayed for a dreamless night, he prayed his mind to stop the self-persecution, to stop thinking about them, as they never did think about him. He wished he was bold enough to down the six pack in his fridge, the one who was calling his name every day, so that he could pass out, so that he could finally and peacefully rest but like all his nights since the lawsuit Buck found himself once again starring at his computer screen, thinking about what he would say to TK and how he could help the equally tormented Texan firefighter.

He remembered TK’s last answer, remembered how he could feel his distress, how he felt the same, he remembered how they chatted until dawn about wither they should keep fighting, should keep proving their worth, their right to be among their brothers or if they should just give up as fighting was making more miserable, he couldn’t forget the last words they exchanged that night.

From TK: My mother used to tell me that even if we’re blood related my father would never love me as much as he loves his firefighters family and that what made me want to be part of it, I wanted to be seen and loved too, I fought and for a brief time I had it, my dad love and attention, I was so happy, I felt whole until I realized that he loved firefighter TK, he only saw me when I was part of the team, outside of it I was nothing.

From Buck: I didn’t have anything outside the 118, when I got the job I was the happiest in the world, for the first time I knew what it felt to be loved, to be appreciated, my parents weren’t that great and Maddie was gone, I had no one, I just had them, after the truck incident I fought, I trained to be back with them cause I missed them but they replaced me, they taped her name over mine and they treated her even better than me and to make things worse I learned that it wasn’t the Head that didn’t want me back, it was Bobby, it felt as if maybe I wasn’t good enough for him, for them, I mean they’re all I have….

From TK: They meant more for you than what you mean for them and that what hurt the most, that why you have to move on and let them go, you can’t keep feeling miserable for people who don’t deserve you Evan.

From Buck: I know, I’m still foolishly hopping though.

TK wasn’t online that night, he didn’t have anyone to turn to, to talk to, he couldn’t bother Maddie, and even though Hen told him she was there, he couldn’t help but let the little voice convince him that she only said that to be kind, she didn’t meant it, she wasn’t expecting him to call her, confide in her, she wasn’t actually there, no one was.

Sleepless nights were becoming more and more common for him, his body grew accustomed to the lack of rest, his mind not so much, the voices were increasingly present, allowing himself to become more and more apprehensive and stressed at the sole thought of going to work the next day, what once was his home, his safe heaven, quickly became his personal hell.

He was changing himself quietly when Bobby and the rest of their team cornered him, they barely let him button his pant before barging into the locker room, all wearing their signature ‘‘we hate you’’ glare, he quickly rose himself waiting for Bobby to tell him that it was it, he was thanked, fired that they didn’t want him in this family anymore.

-So I had an interesting conversation with the Heads today, he started making Buck gulp in fear, apparently I can’t have one of my guys on light duties for more than two months, he waved dismissively, so, he sighed, as of today you’re officially back on call, he announced looking at him expectantly.

-Thank you I guess, Buck articulated not meeting his eyes, I…I won’t let you down, let any of you down, he croaked still fixing his shoes.

-I hope so Buckley, the older man retorted before turning back and leaving the room.

He waited until the footsteps vanished to let out the breath he was holding, he then let himself fall on the bench behind him not once acknowledging the fact that someone stayed behind, it wasn’t until he hear Eddie clear his throat that he gave him his attention.

-Listen Eddie, he began but a single look from his teammate made him flinch and quiet down.

-You might be reinstated, Eddie roared getting up from his place, you might be back on the team, back on call, he enumerated walking toward him, but you’ll never be a part of this family again, he sneered fist clenched at his side, so don’t try, he huffed, don’t try to mend things, don’t try talking with us from now on we’re only colleagues Buckley, he deadpanned leaving the locker room.

And just like that everything went silent, he could only hear the sound of his shattering heart, the wail of his broken soul, the realization hitting him like a truck, it was meaningless, there were nothing holding him back, nothing to keep him fighting, nothing and no one worth fighting for, everything was silent and even if the siren were getting louder, even though Hen kept on calling his name he couldn’t move the violence of his heartbreak, of his grief nailed him to the ground.

He could handle light duties, could handle the glares, the critics, the insults and even the bullying sometimes, he could handle being isolated, handle eating alone and hiding in his car to shed the tears he held up all day, what he couldn’t handle, couldn’t support, couldn’t accept was his teammates lacks of professionalism, he couldn’t handle the fact that they couldn’t let go of the grudges they held against him during calls.

He was only doing his job, only asking the routines questions when Bobby decided it was the right times to belittle him in front of his team and the victims, making him pass for the dumb blond he wasn’t, making him regret the day he started to think of him as his hero, his model.

He was sitting gloomily in the locker room when Hen found him, his gaze fixed on the dark screen of his phone, he didn’t acknowledge her presence, didn’t raise his head and gave her the little smile she was so used to get by now, he was only looking at his phone, only staring at him with sadness and confusion.

-Something’s wrong Buckaroo, she breathed sitting next to him

-I...I asked for a transfer after Bobby told me I wasn’t reinstated, he revealed quietly his sight still on his phone, and I learned today that they actually accepted it, he revealed in a mirthless laugh.

-Why didn’t you tell me...tell us about it, Hen chocked, I never thought you all of people would actually give up, she frowned grabbing his arm, Evan, she pressed using his name for the first time.

-I’m not giving up, he swallowed facing her, I fought, I tried, I did everything to get them back, to get my family back, he hissed tears streaming down his face, I never gave up, he roared pointing to himself, I never gave up, he breathed kneeling down tiredly, it’s a losing game Hen, he half smiled, it’s better to accept defeat, he shrugged.

-Where are you transferred, she queried staring at him,

-Don’t know yet, he shrugged, could be on the other side of LA or in another state, he revealed, told them I was pretty flexible, he joked miserably.

The spell was broken, just like Cinderella after the clock struck midnight, the mail was a reality check, it was the sign he was waiting for, the one TK was talking about, his Californian dream was definitely over, he didn’t know how to process it, didn’t know how to accept that after three years he was ejected from his earthly Eden.

He found himself once again the target of a dreamless and sleepless night, once again facing his laptop screen, once again messaging the only person able to get him

From Buck: It seems that the sign I was waiting for came earlier than expected, I don’t know if I’m ready to give up yet.

From TK: It’s not giving up, it’s moving on.

[hqwkeyes]

Deserving

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1,611

Warnings: some angst, mentions of death and blood (some of it may be considered a tad bit graphic, I’m sorry), language (one word), fluff and soft Bucky, unedited (I’m so tired, I’m sorry)

Summary:

A/N: This is not only a request, but also a part of @softhairbarnes ’s  I Love You 3000 Writing Challenge. I know I’m a day late, but I had a huge assignment to submit last night. Thank you to the lovely anon who requested this. I had fun writing it, although I did get a little darker with it than I initially intended to. I’m sorry about that, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless.

You’re watching movies with Sam and Clint in the living room when Wanda comes in to tell you that Steve and Bucky will be landing at the compound in approximately 10 minutes, as well as the fact neither have any injuries. The three of you nod and thank her for sharing the news before turning your attention back to the screen.

About 15 minutes have passed when you hear a door slam shut followed by grumbling. You flinch at the sound and look over your shoulder to find who caused it

“Hey, man, we’re glad you’re back and all, but do you have to be so loud?” Sam asks Bucky Barnes upon spotting him. Bucky ignores him, as if he hadn’t even heard him speak. He passes through like somewhat of a zombie, clearly lost in his own head as he makes his way toward his room. As soon as he exits the room, you’re on your feet.

“Where are you going?” Clint asks as you begin to walk away. When he notices that you’re exiting the room rather than heading over to the kitchen area, he calls out to you, “You’re missing the best part!”

Clint’s words fall on deaf ears as you tail Bucky. He’s got a fair amount of distance between you; every time you catch sight of him, he disappears around another corner. He takes the stairs rather than the elevator as well, likely to avoid bumping into someone. Rather than following him up multiple flights of stairs, though, you decide to take the elevator up to his floor. Just as you step off the lift, you hear another door slam.

Swiftly, you make your way down the hallway to his room. You can hear things being tossed around and overturned from a few paces away. A quiet knock on the door silences the ruckus. For a moment, there is nothing.

On the opposite side of the door, Bucky is still, and thinking of ways to tell Steve that he just wants to be alone without hurting his feelings. When he finally opens the door, his words die in his throat as his eyes fall upon you. You had followed him? How didn’t he notice that?

“Hey, are you okay?” you ask with a small yet hopeful smile.

“I- Yeah, I’m all good. Thanks, Y/N.” He begins closing the door, but you stick your hand out and stop it.

“Really? Because you’re pretty slammy for someone who’s ‘all good’.” He lets out a deep sigh, and his eyes find the floor. “Do you wanna talk about it?” He knows he doesn’t deserve your time or kindness, but your tone is too sweet for him to even think about saying no to you.

Slowly, he opens the door again and gestures for you to come in. It’s a silent response. You slip past him and he closes the door behind you, quietly this time.

“What’s on your mind, Bucky?” He takes a seat on the edge of his bed and you follow suit, taking a seat beside him.

“It’s just this last mission,” he says with a huff as he cards his fingers through his hair.

“I thought it was successful?”

“It was, but,” his voice trails off and covers his face with his hands, shaking his head. After a moment he finally speaks again, his voice muffled by his palms. “There were so many civilians. We- We tried to get them out, but there were too many of them and not enough time.” He stops again. Inhales sharply. Exhales. “There was this little girl. She was there one second, looking at me right in the eyes, and then the next second she was gone. Disappeared in a wave of smoke and bullets.” Another pause. You can tell this is difficult for him. “I could have saved her. If I just ran a few more steps, I could have saved her, but instead I took cover.” He stops for a beat, then continues, “When the smoke cleared and the gunfire ceased, I saw her, lying in a pool of blood.”

You don’t realize that you’re crying until you feel something wet on your neck, but you quickly dry your tears before Bucky can see them. You were at a loss for words. Sure, you had been on missions where civilians were killed, but this sounded pretty bad. Bucky has already seen too much death and destruction in his lifetime.

“It should have been me,” he whispers, and you're momentarily stunned.

“Don’t say that.”

“But it’s true. I could have saved her.”

“And then you would be dead.”

“Maybe it’s better off that way. I mean after all I’ve done, it’s only fair.”

“You don’t get to make that call,” you all but snap at him.

“I’ve done so many horrible things.”

“That wasn’t you, Bucky,” you say softly, a sharp contrast from your tone a moment ago. You move behind him a bit and wrap your arms around his torso, resting your chin on his left shoulder, minding the scars.

He pulls away a bit, having convinced himself that he doesn’t deserve your sympathy, your affection, but you pull him closer in response. One of your hands finds his hair, running your fingers through it in a soothing manner.

“You shouldn’t be so nice to me,” he says, his voice quiet.

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“Because I don’t deserve it.”

Dear God, how can this man think he deserves anything less than the world? you think.

“You’re a good man, Buck.” You whisper the words in his ear.

“Not good enough,” he mumbles.

“For what?”

“For you.” Two words. Just two words have his heart jumping into his throat because shit they just slipped out.

Your heart is racing, but you’re sure he couldn’t mean what you thought he did. No, he meant your friendship of course. He was wrong either way.

“That’s interesting,” you start as you mindlessly play with his hair, “because I don’t think I’m good enough for you.”

He thinks he’s must be having some sort of crazy dream right now, because there is no way those words left those lips of yours.

“That’s crazy,” he says, and he can feel you shrug in response from behind him.

“I guess we accept the love we think we deserve,” you tell him as you begin to braid his long, silky locks.

“But you deserve better than me,” he whispers, so quiet you nearly miss it.

“What if- What if I don’t want what you think is better?”

“I’m not sure what you’re saying, Y/N.”

“I’m saying,” your voice trails off into a brief pause, and then, “what if I want you?”

Bucky is silent for several moments, and you begin to worry that you’ve scared him or made him uncomfortable. You remove your hands from his hair, which is almost half braided.

He thinks over what he wants to say, as well as the million possible ways he could say it. Finally, he decides to speak up.

“I want you too, so badly, but I’m not good for you.” You reach over and cover his mouth with your hand before he continues, then shift your position so you’re beside him again.

“Bucky, I’m an adult. I know what I want and what’s good for me. You need to get your head out of your ass and realize that you’re not who they made you into. You are not a monster. You are not a machine. You are a human being, and the life you deserve was stolen out from under your feet. You need to start letting go of the past and try to see that it’s about time that you got to be happy.”

He sits there for a moment, processing what you’ve just said and mulling it over in his mind.

“I-” he begins, but you cut him off.

“Don’t even dare try to convince me that I’m even a little bit off, because I know that deep down you know that I’m right too.”

He closes his eyes. Nods slowly as he slips his hand into yours. Then, very quietly, he whispers, “I think I can try.”

You’re smiling so hard because you’ve finally made a dent, even if it’s small.

“You deserve love, Bucky. I promise you do. I think it’s time you started believing that too,” you say before bringing his knuckles to your lips for a moment.

He grins at you like he’s looking at the most beautiful sunset he’s ever laid eyes on, positively blossoming with color. And after a moment he pipes up again.

“Could you maybe uh... keep doing that with my hair? It felt kinda nice.” You giggle at his question, turning into full on laughter, and to him it sounds like a choir of heavenly angels singing in perfect harmony.

“Sure, Buck,” you tell him before moving behind him once again and getting to work on his hair.

You run your fingers through the strands before twisting them over and under and pulling at them gently until you’ve finished, and Bucky sits in contentment, telling himself that he wants to get used to this—that he does, in fact, deserve this. Once you finish, you use a hair tie to secure the braid, and he leans into you. For the remainder of the night, the two of you sit there. You run your fingertips over his arms, tracing patterns into his skin and following the smooth, clean-cut grooves in the metal, and occasionally place chaste kisses to the nape of his neck. Bucky feels loved, but just as importantly, he feels like he deserves to be.

[jbbarnesandnoble]

Forever and Always: Part 7

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Series Summary: You and Bucky used to date, until someone got in between you two. After a year without seeing him, he pops up in your life again, and old feelings with him? Harsh words can never taken back, but can they be forgiven?

Chapter Summary: You’re still in shock from the news your friends just dropped on you. But you what you have to do, even if it’ll mess up everything you worked so hard for.

Word Count: 3,874

Warnings: Anggssstt/Hurt/Pain/Ect -I lowkey hurt my own feelings writing this- Get ready for all the mess y’all:)

A/N: Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I think this is one of the best things I have ever written. I’m really happy with how it turned out and I’m really proud of my writing in this part. I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I have honestly been looking froward to this part for weeks now. Once I started working on it I felt so inspired. Please leave some feed back, I love to know what you all are thinking. If you want me to tag you in this series feel free to let me know!

It’s an hour to midnight and Bucky’s apartment is full of his friends and loud music. Although you can barely hear any of the noise over your heart practically beating out of your chest. Fantastically, you are rushing around trying to find Bucky’s bright blue-grey eyes in the sea of people.

What was meant to be a small get together with friends quickly turned into something much bigger and louder. A few of the guests didn’t quite get the memo that this was meant to be a small quiet gathering.

With each step your determination quickly turns to fear. You begin to realize just how stupid this is. Why would he ever believe you? You’ve never met his girlfriend before, you barely know a thing about her, let alone her name. And what if it was all just one big misunderstanding? Of course you trust your friends, you know they wouldn’t lie to you about something as serious as this.

But there is also a possibility that they just misheard their conversation. Besides, what proof do you even have? You only have your friends word, maybe things would be different if you heard it yourself. But you didn’t, you panicked as soon as you heard that someone might be using James for selfish reasons. Just like always, you jumped without thinking things through properly. If anything this will just go to show that all you are to him is his crazy and jealous ex-girlfriend.

You get the sudden feeling of dread and panic slowly rising in your chest. Looking around, you swiftly make your way towards the first door you see. When a hand gently wraps around your wrist. You hold your breath, hoping, praying that it isn’t Bucky. You know you can’t face him right now without accidentally spilling everything.

You let out the breath you were holding when you’re met with sandy blond hair and baby blue blue eyes. “Hey, Y/N, are you okay?” Steve looks at you with a hint of worry in his eyes.

“Steve.” you look at him processing his question.

“Um... yeah... yes, I am. Sorry, I-I have to go.” From the look on his face, you can tell he wants to ask who hurt you then punch the jerk who did. He’s always acted like an overprotective big brother when it comes to you. He even taught you self-defense when you were younger. No matter how much time has passed he will always find a way to protect you. Even if you don’t need it, or want it.

From the frown on his face you know he doesn’t believe you, you don’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to talking about your feelings. Over the years you have learned that lying won’t get you anywhere when it comes to Steve, Nat, Wanda and Peggy. Yet you still feel guilty when you bother them with your negative emotions.

“I just need some air, it’s getting a bit too crowded in here for my liking.” he nods his head in response. Knowing that you aren’t a huge fan of big crowds or parties.

Without another word, Steve nods his head towards the door leading to the balcony. You don’t have to ask, already knowing he wants you to follow him. Sucking in a sharp breath, you ready yourself for whatever it is he wants to say.

By the time you reach the door, Steve has already made himself comfortable on the cozy balcony. You stop suddenly when you finally allow yourself to take in your surroundings. You can’t help but smile softly at the sight in front of you.

“He couldn’t bring himself to change it.” Steve speaks gently, bringing you back from your distant memories.

“As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t bring himself to actually do it. He tried to argued that you spent too much of your time and effort on it, to just throw it all away. But we both know that’s not the reason he kept everything.” you look up to catch Steve staring at you, a small smile planted on his face.

“He kept it because it reminded him of you.” you feel a bit sad at Steve’s gentle confession. “I’m surprised.” you start slowly, taking a seat next to the huge man who takes up most of the small couch.

“He never said anything about it. So I just assumed he tolerated my constant redecorating of his home.” Steve thinks for a moment before answering.

“He once told me he thought watching you work on little projects, like this one, was calming.” you can’t help but chuckle slightly at the thought. “He enjoyed watching how happy you would get over something as simple as adding a few decorations to an otherwise empty room.” Steve looks at you with a gentle softness in his baby blues

“He even said it was one of the things that made him fall so hard for you.” He admits too quietly for you to catch over the sound of the music and the loud city street down below.

“Steve.” you swear if it the music from inside was any louder he wouldn’t have heard you. You suddenly wish he didn’t.

You swallow the lump in your throat before asking the question that has been burning in your mind since you stepped outside. Noticing the nervousness in your voice, he takes your hand into his giving it a reassuring squeeze. His large hand makes yours feel like a child's in comparison.

“What do you think of Bucky’s girlfriend?” You can feel Steve’s gaze on you, but you can’t seem to bring yourself to look him in his impossibly blue eyes. Not wanting to see his emotions.

You have known Steve Rogers long enough to be able to read him like a book. You know well enough that if you so much as glance at him, you’ll see every single thought and emotion running through his mind.

The long, painful silence drags on for what feels like hours. Before Steve finally answers your regretful question. “I think.” He begins quietly and cautiously, like you’ll break from his words. Looking out towards the lively city below us, he continues. “I think that this is the first time that Buck has been genuinely happy since... well... you.” He looks down smiling sadly at our interwoven hands. You see another emotion flash across his face, it’s darker than the others, but you can’t seem to name it. Then, just like that it’s gone. Whenever it was, the sight left you with an uneasy feeling.

“I'll admit that I'm still trying to get used to the fact that my best friend and little sister aren't together anymore.” He bumps my shoulder with his, he knows you dislike it when he calls you his little sister. You just playfully roll your eyes at him. You’re a month older than him and not even his biological sister.

It had always just been Steve and his parents, but when they died in an accident when he was no more than six-teen, he didn’t have any other family that he could rely on. Except for you and Bucky -who you didn’t know at the time, the first time the two of you met was Steve’s eighteenth birthday-

“I think that sometimes I let that get in the way of me fully accepting that he has moved on from you." This time it's you who gives his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Because in my eyes it’ll always be Bucky and Y/N.” When Steve looks at you, you can see a mix of hope and sadness in his eyes. But chose to ignore it.

“Steve, I don’t want to be the one who gets in the way of everyone accepting their relationship. If you think that she’s a good person who genuinely loves and cares for Bucky and makes him happy, then that’s great, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for him. His happiness.” Which was true, you just aren’t sure if his happiness is with her. You watch Steve carefully, hoping he’ll give you some kind of answer. Some type of proof that he feels the same doubts as you.

“You’re right.” he rubs the back of his neck a bit embarrassed that he was the one complaining about his best friends relationship, when you have every right  to, but you have said nothing but good things.

“I always feel a bit uneasy when it comes to her. I get a feeling that she’s hiding something from us.” He looks at you, searching your eyes and face for something. You aren’t quite sure what.

When you open your mouth, suddenly finding the courage to tell him about what you were told only an hour before hand. But he cuts you off without realization.

“She’s hiding something.” Steve mutters darkly, too quietly for you to completely hear, you have only ever seen Steve angry twice in your life. That’s why you know it’s serious when he looks mad. You just aren’t sure the reason behind his sudden and dark expression.

He laughs awkwardly “But that’s probably just me being paranoid.” you can see through his weak lie, but decided not to press on anymore. Steve has never been a good lair.

Just like that his face turns back to his normal easy smile. Like nothing ever happened. He has always been a fairly honest person, even if the truth itself wasn’t so pretty. You can always trust and rely on his word. If Steve says she’s okay then she has to be, right? He may not always be the best judge of character, considering that he, being the optimistic person he is, always tries to see the best in people. But no matter what, his heart is always in the right place. If on the rare chance that he does try to lie his way out of something, it’s usually because he’s uncomfortable. 

You give his hand one last squeeze before standing up. “Thanks Stevie, I always feel better after our talks.” Which is true, he always helps you sort things out in a practical and well thought out way, you still can’t help the small part of you that still doubts everything. You give him a small smile before walking back inside.You pass Peggy on your way back in who just gives you a sad look.

----------

“Is everything okay, Steve?” He looks up to find Peggy’s hazel eyes staring down at him with concern. “Yeah, it’s fine Peg. I’m just worried about Y/N.” Steve gives her a small smile, the worry evident on his face. “Do you think she’ll tell him?” for once Peggy doesn’t have an answer for him. Instead she sits next to him, wrapping her arm around his. “I don’t know.” she leans her head on his shoulder.

“He used to believe her word in a heartbeat. Without so much as a second guess. But now that they aren’t together anymore, would he still?” They look at each other, both thinking the same thing. Was it a good idea to let Y/N handle this? Was it fair to put that on her?

----------

“I don’t think Pepper would appreciate that Tony.” you say through a laugh

“Thank you, Y/N. Finally someone agrees with me.” Pepper says, using her hands to dramatize her statement. She give Tony a playful glare.

“I thought you were supposed to be on my side kid.” Tony pouts “Not this time Stark.” you smirk, placing a hand on your hip. You glance at the watch on your left wrist,‘11:45′ Fifteen minutes to midnight. Noticing the time you slip away from Tony and Pepper when they’re distracted. You want them to have their moment when the clock strikes twelve without making them feel uncomfortable.

You’re making your way through the crowd people, everyone seems to be getting ready for the ball to drop -You too, except a different ball- Whether it’s by finding their significant other, grabbing a drink from the bar or hanging around friends. Everyone has someone. You look around to find Wanda, you know Nat will be with Clint and Peg will be with Steve.

Instead of Wanda, you end up making eye-contact with the one person you were trying to avoid. Bucky. You turn around, hoping he didn’t actually see you. It’s dark and there are so many people that he probably didn’t even notice you.

But luck doesn't seem to be on your side tonight, or at all recently. “Hey, Y/N. Where have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Not wanting to meet his eyes you look around, hoping to spot Wanda to come save you from this interaction.

Ignoring his question you ask, “Have you seen Wanda? I wanted to be with her when the clock strikes twelve.”

You try walking away, just wanting to get as far away from his as possible. You know if he asks those three little words everything will come spilling out. Whether you want it to or not. But Bucky seems to have other plans. 

He grabs your wrist before you can get far. You whip around to meet his blue-grey eyes boring into yours. You can see the already see the question forming in his eyes. Panic begins to rise in your chest. You try to get your arm out of his grasp. Trying desperately to get away. But you’re too slow, luck really isn’t on your side at all.   

“Is everything okay?” as soon as the words leave his mouth you close your eyes, trying your best not to say anything. Trying your best not to cry. You look around hoping that someone, anyone will come save you. But none of your friends are in sight, or close enough for them to hear you over the music and noise.

“Buck, please, don’t.” the words that leave your mouth don’t even feel like your own. It’s like you’re in a stranger's body. Just like earlier you find it hard to breath.

“What’s going on, doll? You haven’t been acting like yourself all night.” Bucky asks again, softer this time. You don’t think you can fight it. Any of it. Gently he lifts your chin up to look meet his face. Which is a lot closer than you would like it to be.

Forcing your eyes open, you don’t bother hiding the tears in your eyes anymore. You let them fall freely. “I’m sorry.” You let out in a whimper. Bucky must feel how tense you are under his grasp because he finally lets you go.

You know there’s no way out of this situation, if you try to run he’ll follow you. If you try to lie, he won’t believe it. You have to tell him everything. “B-Buck, what I’m about to tell you. You have to promise me that you won’t get angry.” He looks at you, more concerned this time. “Promise me, James.” You manage to say it in a firm voice. With the use of his first name, he knows it’s important.

After he promises, you take a deep breath. Trying to calm your nerves.

“Buck, it’s... it’s your girlfriend.” his body visibly tenses at the mention of her. You can see a million questions forming in his mind as you speak.

You’re about to tell him how Natasha and Peggy overheard the conversation, then decide against it. It’ll be better if he thinks you heard it directly.

“I overheard a conversation in the hallway before I got here, an older man was speaking, he said something about not getting the money fast enough. I didn’t think much of it... until the other person spoke, she sounded younger than the man did. She said that.. that she would get him the money soon, t-that it was just taking longer than she expected it to. I was going to ignore it. Then I realized who was speaking. It... it was your girlfriend.” You have to force yourself to look at him. His face is blank, for a moment you wonder if he heard any of what you just said over the loud music filling the room.

Then his blank expression turns to confusion. “What are you trying to say, Y/N?” He runs a shaky hand through his hair. Messing it up. “Bucky, she’s using you. Your girlfriend she-”

“I know who you mean. Why are you telling me this?” He snaps, faster than he meant to. You don’t notice the tall brunette that suddenly appeared next to him. Before you can open your mouth to speak, she interrupts.

“What about me?” the beautiful woman says with a laugh that would make angles jealous.

“Nothing important, doll.” You’ve never heard Bucky use that nickname for anyone other than you. It stings more than it should. You look up to see the woman standing next to him. as soon as you recognize her your heart drops. You blink your eyes a few times, hoping that you’re just seeing things. But when you open them, she’s still there.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so stupid. Of course it would be you.” you say more to yourself than anyone else. Fear suddenly pools in her eyes when she sees you, but she  quickly and flawlessly recovers. Of course you just assume that it’s fear of seeing her fiances ex-girlfriend at his New Years Eve party.

“Wait, Elena... do you two, know each other?” She opens her mouth to speak, but you’re faster.

“I didn’t know you were engaged. I guess I own you a congratulations.” You try your best at hiding your disappointment in him, he didn’t tell you about his engagement. After everything, you thought your relationship was improving with Bucky. Then it hits you, he didn’t want you to know. Especially since he seems to have gone to the trouble of telling everyone not to tell you.

Bucky looks at Elena with a confused expression. But you miss it, too disappointed in him to care. That’s when you notice it. The beautiful engagement ring Elena always wore was missing. Now that you think about it, the ring isn’t his mothers. Which you find strange, he used to always talk about wanting to propose with his mom's ring one day. But now that suddenly changed? You can't help but feel a but put off by it.

"Elena, did something happen to your ring?" The question is completely innocent, with no hidden agenda. But as soon as the words leave your mouth she looks at you like you just told the world her darkest secret.

"Oh, my ring. I'm getting it cleaned." She glances towards Bucky who's face stays blank. "I should have it back soon." She laughs again, this time it feels more forced. But still as beautiful as before.

Awkward silence falls between the three of you, luckily the music in loud enough to drown out your thoughts. It's then you realize you never completely explained to Bucky what's going on with Elena.

"Elena, if you don't mind I would like to have a word with Bucky in private." You hate how your voice sounds so small and insecure compared to hers, which always seems to be full of confidence.

To your surprise it's Bucky who speaks. "Whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of Elena." He says coldly. You try to ignore it.

"Right..." you clear your throat hoping that will somehow give you confidence. "I-I told you because I'm trying to protect you. Buck, I-" but Elena cuts you off. "Protect him from what, exactly?" she eyes you with a suspicious look

Her interruption only makes more frustrated and upset than you already are. "From you." You snap back before you can stop yourself. Not that you care, You're tired of her using him, whether it's true or not.

"I know that you're only using him for his money. I heard you talking to that older man in the hallway earlier." You take a step closer to Elena, who has a few good inches on you. You don't miss the fear that quickly flashes across her face

"How dare you assume that, I love James. I love him more than you ever could." You swear you feel your heart stop. Regret and hurt pooling inside of your stomach. You don't let her see it, you refuse to. Before you get another word out Bucky steps in.

"That's enough!" You expect him to yell, instead his voice comes out as a deep growl. You can practically see the anger and frustration fuming off of him.

He turns to face you before he continues. "Thanks Y/N." you let out a small sigh of relief feeling the hope rising in your chest. You don't bother hiding it. All you care about is that Bucky believes you. Nothing else matters. You don’t even seem to notice the defeated look on Elena’s face. 

"Thank you for trying to sabotage my relationship with Elena." In just one sentence all your hope is shattered. You can feel your heart slowly begin to break. Even more than it already is. The hope in your eyes dying with his cruel words. But you know you deserve them.

"I trusted you, after these past few months of repairing our relationship, I thought you supported me. But clearly I was wrong." Regretfully you sneak a glance at Elena who now has a smug smile planted on her face, anyone can read it. 'He chose me, he'll always chose me. You had your chance.' Your heart somehow manages to break even more at the thought.

"You were just trying to get in the way of my happy relationship, because if you can't move on neither can I, right? I'm an idiot for even thinking I could trust you again. That was clearly a mistake, one that I'll make sure to never make again. After all, you broke my heart and betrayed my trust once before. Why did I bother trusting you again." Those last words are like a slap across the face, except instead of a hand it's with a bus.

Every slither of hope you once had moments ago had been destroyed. Never to see the light of day again. Slowly and painfully, the world goes silent. You can't hear the cheers of excitement around you. The world begins to grow blurry from unshed tears. It feels like you're hundreds of miles below water. You aren’t sure how long you stand there in shock. You're only brought back to reality when a drunk man bumps into you, spilling his drink all over your outfit. Making you and your clothes reek of alcohol. 

When you're brought back from your dark thoughts and shock. You realize what's going on from the couples kissing and people cheering and toasting their drinks. Without having to check your watch.

When you look up Bucky and Elena are still there. Elena is smiling wickedly at you and Bucky, well you don't bother glancing at him. Not wanting him to see your broken state.

"Happy new year." You say bitterly, with that you take your leave.

Part 8

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