#buck is adhd

[bibucktrashpanda]

So this started out as a headcanon for @kinardbuckleys and well here we are. I am absolutely not using this as a vehicle my own ADHD insecurities, I write, you know like a liar. Also, this is my new 911 sideblog, I was posting as @spntrashpanda

The youtuber is real and is amazing, if you are interested, look up Casual Geographic. Also, the story of how Robert Ballard actually found the Titanic is incredible, it really was a cover story. He talks about it here in a talk at the University of Rhode island. The Titanic stuff starts at 9 minutes 15 seconds but the whole video is great.

Okay so we all know how Buck likes to share facts and can ramble a little, I just have an image in my head of Tommy working under the hood of the jeep in his garage, Buck takes good care of it but Tommy just wants to give it a tune up.

It's a rainy muggy Tuesday and Tommy and Buck's schedule had lined up to give them the same 24 off. Tommy had been eager to take a look under the jeep's hood. Buck just shrugs and pulls up a stool to watch, keeping him company, just sharing facts.

At some point he freezes and stops talking incredibly self-conscious about talking for so long and he knows he started with talking about the black death in Europe and how it changed the medieval economic structure how and is now inexplicably on how finding the Titanic was actually a side mission for the US Navy. He closes his eyes in embarrassment because he has been working on it, really, but he just gets so excited by new knowledge and wants to share it.  He jumps when Tommy cups his cheek asking if he's okay. Buck blushes and looks down "Sorry I know I can be a lot when I get going, I’m not even sure how we ended up here.”

Tommy uses his hand to tilt Buck’s head buck up until they are eye to eye. “Evan, I like hearing you talk. You get so animated. I don’t want you to ever think you need to be anything other than who you are. And you went from the black death to the African Cape buffalo being nicknamed “black death” to this youtuber who has the most hilarious animal videos even if he is unfairly prejudiced against orcas, I don’t think he is by the way, orcas are ruthless, to orcas having their own cultures in different geographic areas to ocean currents and then how currents helped figure out where the Titanic is to how looking for the Titanic was a cover story for the guy who found it who was actually looking for sunken nuclear submarines.”

Buck gapes at Tommy because what? Tommy chuckles softly and kisses him. “I told you, I like listening to you.” He presses a kiss to Buck’s forehead and turns back to the jeep. Buck just sits there heart bursting to full, basking in the love and acceptance.

“So, you were mentioning how he actually found it?” Tommy looks over and prompts Buck.

Buck grins and starts again “Yeah, the Navy was pissed when he actually found it since they couldn’t use it as a cover story anymore.” He continues letting his mind jump from place to place as Tommy leans back under the hood.  

End

Why are these two so writable???

[whatsourmotto-whocares]

HARK, 'TIS ME DRUNK AGAIN cuz it's the holidays and we got cptsd and adhd and a fucked up family tree WITH BUCKTOMMY BRAIN ROT because what is life without some crispy disassociation hyperfixation fodder

anyway so I hate the fact that Buck as a 100% neurodivergent person is especially susceptible to internalizing outside perceptions of his experiences and behavior because we ND folks usually grow up being told we aren't actually [blank], or it isn't actually hard to [blank] you just aren't trying or aren't doing xyz, or that we shouldn't feel so strongly [blank] because it wasn't a big deal (and Buck had esp icky parental parenting, too), so you get used to accepting what you're told about your own fucking emotions and experiences (and I love Josh so this isn't on him, it's on the writers), so when Buck hears this speech about what he was supposed to think re: Tommy being a "pre-Glee" queer (and stfu because boiling everything fought for and gained and lost 1990-2020 down into pre/post a TV teen drama musical that had literally any lgbtqia+ inclusion *but happened to be popular* is so barf) HE PARROTS IT because he's USED TO THAT being what people want to hear and what the *"correct answer"* to the Adult Human Conversations and Relationships Code quiz is. BUT THEN he follow it with some of his true colors and thoughts and feelings, but the preamble has changed Tommy's perception of the rest of it and triggers all his own shit that makes Buck's apparent idolization scary AND MISCONSTRUES BUCK'S WHOLE INTENT so Buck is genuinely blindsided by Tommy's reaction and confused about what he did wrong (because God knows ND folks are constantly wondering exactly what we did wrong, especially when it results in being left after talking about our feelings).

and tbh the part I'm most mad about is that I'm so sure that you couldn't purposefully write writing this horribly trite and trash about bi or late-discovery-queer people OR neurodivergent people so directly; you have to be oversimplifying Buck in his established traits and applying prejudices so that even subconsciously this is what you come up with, OR PURPOSEFULLY creating this situation to make sure to establish a narrative about bi men/people or queerness and break these two compatible, peaceful beans up for the drama llama.

THEY BOTH DESERVED BETTER AND ND AND/OR QUEER FOLKS DESERVE BETTER REP TOO GOODNIGHT

*takes bedtime shot in gay adhd*

[autisticjoshrusso]

on a positive note, the ADHD Buck representation this episode!! holy moly!! The overall emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, getting so overstimulated that he can barely breathe but ALSO so tuned in because of it that he sees a saw blade snap inhumanely fast?? we stay winning folks.

[mazzystar24]

Just saw an anti Eddie fic about Eddie being rude to buck for infodumping and before that I’ve seen few bucktommy posts about Tommy being the only one to want to listen to buck’s facts

And like you mean this Eddie?

Be so fr he’s so “show me your rock collection babe” “tell me about beetle folklore” “and why exactly are dolphins assholes?” “Wait so why did pirates like black cats?” “Sure I’ll watch 3hr documentary with you” coded

Same man spouting goat yoga facts just cos buck wasn’t there, be so fucking for real guys

(Insert the “ I love this autistic man” audio here) - tho in my opinion adhd is more accurate for buck

[theotherbuckley]

Incorrect tweets part 11/?

[timeshareindestin]

overstimulated.

[agenderlesstree]

buck felt more in character this episode than the last couple seasons we are SO back i fear. like all of his fun facts? his scene just smiling at the bees? i love him so much

[alchemistc]

He never hid it from Bobby. That's the thing he keeps trying to remind himself, as he sits on the razor edge of this dumb fucking argument and keeps deciding not to ask for advice on how to fix it.

He never hid it from Bobby. It was just -

Bobby's approval means something to him. It always does. Hell, even fucked up coma-dream Bobby digging through pill bottles had been the conscience on his shoulder. And at the time he'd been sure of two things:

1. He wanted this to work with Tommy

and

2. If Bobby had cautioned him he'd have backed off from his speed run to reassess and he didn't want to second guess himself.

Because it had felt right. It had felt good, and safe and warm and terrifying in a way he'd never really experienced before.

So. He'd talked about Tommy at work and he'd dealt with the teasing (he'd loved the teasing) and when Bobby had caught him tucking a toiletry bag stuffed with condoms and lube into his overnight bag, and told him Tommy was good people - good for him - he'd rode that high for another three months.

It had felt - adult. Grown up. No need to hit up Captain Dad for advice on this new thing he'd navigated with advice from people he saw more as peers than authority figures.

Only.

It had felt like the first time Emily Harden had smiled at him from her desk two seats over from his, too - heart fluttering in his chest and eyes catching on the thin skin of her neck right below her earlobe and he'd ducked his head and wanted to bash it into his desk just to make sure he wasn't dreaming because he could still feel her lips - sticky with that sweet tasting gloss - on his from when they'd snuck behind the auxillary classroom after lunch.

And it had felt like that first time he'd fumbled with a condom in the back seat of someone else's car and Ashley J had giggled, two years older and definitely not the first time for her, and steadied his hand as she rolled it on for him, and Buck had been pretty sure he loved her. (He'd loved her the way a child loves it's favorite toy, and he'd cherished her for paying so much frank attention to him, and she'd loved the way his cock filled his shorts and her pussy and how focused he was on making it good for her.) He hadn't even come, that first time, too fucking terrified to go off early that the nerves had settled like a vice around his balls and so instead he'd grunted into the side of her neck, pulled out and gotten his fingers up in her just to make sure the fluttering he'd felt around him was real, and with hushed gasps she'd ridden the palm of his hand until the fluttering happened a second time and he discreetly tucked himself back in his shorts before she could notice.

It felt like - firsts and lasts and everything in between. Tommy - Tommy was something new and good and achingly familiar at the same time Buck felt like he'd never experienced anything quite like this before.

So.

And Bobby - Bobby's been off doing this new thing, away from them because he'd - he'd been done, or something. With the job, with the 118, with Buck maybe too

He's mad as hell right now, though, headset on while Athena relays the absolutely ridiculous plan they've concocted and even as Bobby drives the engine they'd one hundred percent stolen from the set of Hotshots (they weren't even hotshots, is a thing he knows and has ranted about to Tommy multiple times, while Tommy licked icing from Buck's bellybutton and dropped amusing snark into the skin of his thigh). And actually, Bucks's mad too, because he and Tommy haven't resolved the whatever it is that had actually been at the heart of their stupid fight and now he's - now he's -

Mehta is already on scene, commandeering a hangar to set up the engines from other stations, and he's taking over comms even as Bobby's lips purse and Athena's voice trails off.

"They're insane," Buck says, and Bobby's nod is crisp and firm. "That sounds like a bad movie plot."

Bobby blinks, and then he does something inexplicably frustrating. He laughs. "It is. It actually is a bad movie plot."

He barely stops laughing the entire drive there.

Buck isn't actually sure why they took the fake fire engine - it isn't actually kitted out with anything real other than a CO2 tank, Buck isn't even sure the ladder extends, but maybe Bobby had just been caught up in the moment, although - although he's driving this one, after some weird tense standoff with the actor Buck's pretty sure plays the captain in the dumb inaccurate firefighter show (they've never even shown the 119 doing fire suppression, let alone dropping into a wildfire, why did they call it Hotshots), which is not usual at all.

Buck feels the stress all along his spine, in his bad leg, rolling along his arms and up his neck while Mehta keeps the lines mostly clear and then there's Tommy's voice. He's in the air, and it's weird to realize that he's not at the controls, because instead he's gonna do something absolutely batshit insane.

("Give that man thirty seconds and he can figure out how to fly anything," Ruiz had mentioned, three months ago, while Buck piled another scoop of casserole onto her plate and watched Tommy duck his head bashfully like it was embarrassing to be so good at your job that people thought you were maybe a little superhuman.)

Mehta looks simultaneously pissed and resigned when they disembark from the purloined engine. It's gone full dark, by now, and most of the engines in the bay are set up and ready to go, and Bobby's haphazard parking job has put them just out of the way. There's a 217 engine tucked in between two 118's and Buck wants to take a picture of it to send to Tommy because he'll either have something amusing or devastatingly charming and sappy to say back but -

But Tommy's harnessing up in the back of a chopper he's usually flying and also they're still fighting.

Maybe.

Kind of.

Bobby gets a stern look and a finger pointed towards where Hen has the 118 circling her, and Mehta just sighs when Buck looks to him for orders. Buck is - technically - maybe a little suspended right now, on account of being the reason Gerrard has a crack in his skull instead of a saw blade in his side, but the all hands on deck situation seems to be tipping in Buck's favor.

"You leave my comm line open, Buckley," Mehta says and waves him in the direction of the 118.

Buck races to catch up to Bobby

---

It actually works, is the thing, and Buck watches Bobby wrapping Athena up in his arms and remembers that moment something had clicked over in his head - some deep part of his brain following the interesting pull of this firefighter pilot with a wicked sense of humor and the same fucked up crazy fuck it attitude Buck's family had. Who Cares, only they all care so goddamn deeply about everything all the time, and Buck's hindbrain had recognized something long before the rest of it did.

Tommy's the last one off the plane. He's got a helmet tucked under his arm and the harness still in place and his hair is a mess, sticking up on one side and plastered to his head on the other, sweaty and windswept and smiling at Buck the moment he catches sight of him.

Eddie and Chim are both busy dealing with passengers and Buck is grateful as hell because he absolutely knows he'd end up competing for Tommy's attention if they were around to see him disembark.

(They're at work, Buck reminds himself. They are in full view of about a dozen different firehouses and a planeful of passengers besides. Buck is still mad at Tommy.)

"Hey," Tommy says, low and gravelly half a second before he slings out an arm to drag Buck in by his neck.

("Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?" he'd asked, anxiety creeping red hot up the back of his neck, and Tommy had been joking, probably, but Buck can't quite remember the circuitous path they'd made to this point, only the feeling like he was five inches tall and Tommy didn't want to be his date to some official LAFD thing. "Like - I mean - I thought the whole point of you pumping the brakes forever ago was you didn't want to hide or be hidden, Tommy!"

And they hadn't actually gotten past that, because all hands on deck meant every firefighter in LA had gotten the reverse 911 that highly encouraged them to get to their stations immediately.

Buck resists for half a second, and Tommy's eyes dart to his when it takes more muscle than he'd been expecting to tug Buck to him.

He looks so goddamn good. Buck wants to eat him up. He also -

"People can see, Tommy," Buck says, and Tommy's smile is wry.

"Kinda the point, sweetheart," he says, and Buck doesn't fight it when he tips his head to press their foreheads together.

They still gotta have this out. They need to actually talk about it, despite Tommy's aversion to digging deep into his psyche to pick at his vulnerabilities. They need to -

Someone wolf whistles across the tarmac. Probably fifty heads turn in their direction. Tommy tips his chin up to press his lips to Buck's birthmark.

"You're not off the hook for the conversation just because you decided to be a bit of an exhibitionist," Buck says, and Tommy's face does something complicated but ultimately understanding.

Mehta makes direct eye contact and looks somewhere between amused and annoyed, but he doesn't make a move towards them.

"Do I at least get points for being a badass?"

Buck raises a brow, and Tommy pouts a little.

"How about a very public kiss, at least?"

"I distinctly remember you saying something about how shoving it down peoples throats was something you had a problem with."

"I had some time to rethink my position, while I was clinging to the nose of a plane."

Buck loves him. He's - they're -

Buck dips forward for a quick peck, and across the tarmac it sounds like Donato and at least a dozen other firefighters have gathered to heckle - they get a few canned boos and some hissing, a rapt audience. Tommy tosses something over his shoulder that Buck can't see because he's suddenly being crowded into Tommy, hands on both hips and his nose digging into Buck's cheek.

"They're not gonna stop until we give 'em a show."

"They got a whole B Movie plot already," Buck argues, but he's tracing the grooves of Tommy's smile.

"Evan, you know those always close on a kiss before the credits roll."

He does, actually, now, because Tommy isn't shy at all about sharing his interests with Buck. Movie nights happen all the time, and sometimes Tommy gets invested enough that Buck climbing into his lap isn't even enough to distract him.

"I'm serious, though. We actually have to talk about this, at some point."

Tommy tips his head to the side, blows out a breath against Buck's earlobe. "You finally cave and hit up Bobby for advice?"

Buck can't help but nip at a tendon drawn tight against the side of Tommy's neck. Whatever their crowded audience can see in their shadowy embrace spurns them into a catcall or two.

"At least I'm not going to Eddie," he snipes, because he knows Eddie knows more than he's letting on. "Also no, because we can figure this out on our own."

Tommy's cheek dances up against Buck's, like Buck's said something he appreciates. "Will you just kiss me already so we can get rid of the peanut gallery?"

Buck tips his chin and gathers Tommy's lips in his own - a beat, two, three, and off in the distance he can hear Donato making her minions disperse, and then he's lost to the kiss for a bit.

When they break for air, Buck has a hand stuffed half-in the zip of Tommy's flight suit, and Tommy's looking at him with something soft and warm and achingly quiet amidst the cacophony. "I really wish you were a little less of an adrenaline junkie, but, uh... you just rappelled out of a helicopter onto the nose of a plane and landed it safely and that's - really doing it for me."

"Evan," he says, faux-scandalized. "Stop trying to seduce me before we've had excruciating serious talk."

[911-incorrect-quotes-dispatch]

Buck: Hey babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds? Eddie: Yes? Buck: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days. Eddie: Fuck. Buck: Get ready because it's going to be a fun week! Eddie: I'm going to Chim's house. Buck: Through sickness and health, motherfucker. You're stuck with me.

[beep-beep-robin]

everything happening all at once in buck‘s perception. the noise from the workers, all the times gerard has discredited and humiliated him in the past replaying over and over in his head portrayed by the voices overlapping in the voiceover. the way the camera slowly zooming in on his face visualizes everything becoming too much and the anger and overwhelm spreading into every nerve in his body. the close up shot of gerard meant to show how deeply his constant digs are affecting buck and that it‘s bubbling to the surface now. the slow motion insinuating that everything starts to feel like molasses to him. the voice of eddie poking through in his thoughts because he‘s trying to anchor himself on it. then the change in noises made by the workers that have been adding to his overstimulation ripping him out of his stuck-in-the-overwhelm position and alerting him something is happening. that. that was such a beautiful portrayal of overstimulation and a meltdown or overwhelmed outburst building up that i can‘t even put into words how much i wanna have a word with tim minear about it

[emolionsrawr]

*at a grant nash BBQ*

buck: *staring off into space*

eddie: he's about to say something really funny or absolutely horrifying

tommy: what?

hen: just wait

buck: did you know these two orcas trained other orcas to kill sharks by taking out their liver and testicles?

eddie: yep horrifying

tommy: wait, really?

buck: yup, off the coast of africa there's these two orcas called port and starboard and they hunt sharks to eat their liver and testicles, they tag team them, one goes for their fins while the other takes out the liver, so far they've taken down five great whites, they even killed khaleesi, who was being tracked and traced for research purposes

tommy: oh my god really?

hen: *looks at tommy and smiles*

eddie: *whispers to hen* he's perfect for him

hen: *whispers back* i know!

buck: yeah! port and starboard have even started teaching other orcas to do the same! so far port and starboards record of how many sharks killed in a day is seventeen!

tommy: oh my god, that's insane baby, what else have port and starboard done?

buck: well they also hunt copper sharks and some fish, they even chased the great whites away from africa for seven weeks! but this isn't even the first time orcas have done something like this, in the early 1900's there was this orca called old tom who would help whalers hunt baleen whales, he even tugged the boats into the right position to get the whales, this happened in the port of eden new south whales in australia, you can actually go and see old tom's skeleton in eden killer whale meuseum, and on his teeth you can see marks from where he would pull the roaps! and old tom even has missing teeth because the whalers had this thing called "law of tounge" where they would strap the dead whales down so old tom and his pod could eat the lips and tongues, on the night where he lost his teeth logan, one of the davidson whaler friends tried to bring the whale in instead of pinning it down for old tom to eat, and old tom was pissed and tried to stop him, and he lost teeth, old tom died from starvation, when old tom died they thought he was 35, but the davidson family swore old tom helped three generations of their family with whaling, old tom was actually in his 90's when he died, they called old toms pod the killers of eden which-

tommy: would make an amazing true crime shark podcast name

buck:

eddie:

tommy:

hen:

buck: *tears up* you get me

[buddiedaydreamer911]

*eddie waking up from nap in the passenger seat*

buck: *driving* hey! so good news and bad news!

eddie: huh?

buck: we are five miles away from Texas… and I’m 98% sure I left my ADHD medication at home!

eddie: turn this fucking car around-

[sauriurius]

„I am a scorpio, he is a scorpio.“

„I dated a vegetarian once which was challenging.“

„I am not the most approachable human being.“

„If you want a salad with kidney beans, you go get some kidney beans.“

PLEASE never let this man stop talking, I have been cackling at this mans yapping for the last 24 hours

[kitweewoos]

Do you think.... Buck shuts himself up when he realizes he's been talking too long about whatever his latest hyperfixation is, because he's been scolded before or told no one cares often enough that he's internalized that.... Just for Tommy to look at him and go "what else?"

And do you think the first time Tommy does that, Buck thinks it's just because Tommy's nice and sweet and is trying to make him feel comfortable, but the third, sixth, tenth, twentieth time, he realizes it's because Tommy wants to hear about his interests and that's when Buck knows, really knows for certain, not a hope or wish but *knows* that they're going to be okay, that they're going to be there for the long run because they love each other????

[autistic-stedebonnet]

buck would be the kinda guy to get offered adderall to get high in college and sit there the calmest and most productive he's ever been in his life while his frat bros are just high off their asses. and then he does absolutely nothing about it.

[emilyrosecreatives]

bi & adhd buck are so important to me 🫶