#btw the addition of “and is gay right” is taking me the fuck out

[jorvikpresident]

I'm so sorry my memorys fucked ... you're the sso person who's rly into beatles right and is gay right

yep that's me

[squarebracketsmileyface]

I literally am obsessed with everything about them. Do not worry about getting distracted and such and ranting about these beautiful characters.

Also it would not be polyhornets because Alex is not involved, it would be Bram!

I LOVE THIS LITTLE FAMILY!! I LOVE THE ADDITION OF JESSE!!!! I LOVE THEMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! Those are wonderful names btw!!!! I'm tempted to give you the names of what my (Previously mentioned friend now partner lmao) named the Jam twins we made cause there is a similar naming scheme there. But also, the twins are on the internet somewhere and if you found out who I am I think I would have to hide away forever.... But still... It tempts me......... Maybe one day!

~💜

Ah thank you, Bram. I'm really bad at figuring out the ship names for these guys lol. I expect them to get longer the more people are included, and then its four letters and I'm like... huh.

Anyway, I am also obsessed. I fucking love these characters so much, thinking about the kinda post MH story for them is so special to me. I'm SO glad you like the names. I love them. I think they're so cute. And now I'm really curious what names you guys game the twins, like how similar are the names, if the naming convention itself is similar?

You don't have to tell me, obviously, but I do wonder.

I remembered more about the post MH storyline that me and my boyfriend talked about AGES ago (before I'd decided that Tim and Brian would have another kid, and before that kid was named Jesse after Jessica), which was specifically about the 'canon' way that this story goes (not the 'everyone lives' AU). Because it ended up being that like, Tim did end up getting back in touch with Jessica because she and Taylor had a kid who ended up in the same school as Birdie did I think? (small fucking world huh 💀 everyone's turning up at this damn school).

Anyway Jessica was like, picking her kid up from school and she saw Tim while he was waiting in the playground, and just kinda sidled up to him to see if it actually was, and like, sure the conversation was a bit awkward, but it was still nice. (I know Jessica doesn't remember MH in the comics but she does here, just like she has a kid here, and isn't being actively fucked with by the operator and skully lol)

Anyway, then Birdie came out of class and over to Tim, and Jessica had this little moment looking at her where she was like "god this kid looks just like Jay" and she doesn't get a chance to ask Tim about it, because then her own kid is coming out of class and they have to rush off to get to his after school club or whatever, but the next day when she sees Tim again, Jessica just quietly asks if Birdie is both Tim's and Jay's, and Tim gets like, really quiet and just gives her a tight little nod and that's the end of the conversation.

But like, over the next term or two, they slowly talk more and eventually Tim admits that Jay died at the end of MH and that he lied about it to Jessica back then because he thought it was the right thing to do. They become good friends though, and they take their kids to the part together and stuff, so Birdie has a "cousin" in Jessica's kid who she becomes fast friends with, and their little family grows. Because like, yeah they have Brian's family, but they don't get to see them super often.

Side note, Brian having a very big, very lovely family is a huge HC for my boyfriend and I. We have a whole cowboy/wild west au that ended up accidentally revolving around Brian having a huge family who are just, really really accepting of queerness. Like, Jay was a trans guy, Alex was a trans girl, Tim and Brian were gay/bi etc, and the four of them were poly, and brians mum was just like, cool, can one of you PLEASE go wrangle the younger kids for dinner??? It's great. She also makes Alex her first dress, and teaches her 'how to be a woman', like, sewing, cooking, all the stuff a lady in the 1800's wild west would need to know.

I love that woman. She's the best character in that whole AU. She treated Tim like one of her own sons because he and Brian had been friends since they were kids, except Tim was CLEARLY her favourite and she was an absolute menace (affectionately) to Brian, who was the oldest or one of the oldest out of, like, 7 or 8 kids I think.

Best au ever lol.

SPEAKING OF BRIAN ACTUALLY, you wanna know one of the ideas I went through before settling on Brian showing up as a teacher at Birdies school? I'm gonna tell you anyway so please nod.

At first, I was gonna have it so that Tim and Brian only met each other again when they were both in, like, their late fifties to early sixties. Like, Birdie would be all grown up and living with her wife (oh yeah Birdie's a lesbian and ends up with a wife) and one day Tim and Brian just, run into each other, and it takes them both a moment to place where the hell they recognised each other from, but eventually they do, and just like in 'canon' S,IL they both have a big crying reunion about it. And then it was just them being old men falling in love with each other all over again, y'know?

It was SUCH a cute idea. It was so fucking cute. I still love it.

[canonicallyanxious]

in addition to my usual top 10's the last couple of years i made an extra top 10 list for funsies (2020 list of top 10 wlw medias and 2021 list of top 10 webcomics for posterity) and i wanted to take this year's list as an opportunity to shout out some cool artists/shoprunners out there (and also drag myself for my poor self-control) so this year I present:

Sarah's Top 10 Impulse Purchases of 2022

(notes: links to stores where applicable; also this post features my personal pics so some of them include my face and/or body, don't be jumpscared)

10. Uchuu Summer (feat. Private Caller Hawaiian Shirt and Watermelon Pop Hawaiian shirt)

Shout out to Jacob & Karina Drawfee for wearing their cool shirts from this rad artist-owned store during a livestream which prompted me to buy two of my own shirts as the stream was happening. no model pics bc these shirts just recently came in (these previews are pulled from the website, also just want to say their preview art goes so hard) but when summer comes round again i will have infinite rights

9. Awesome Socks Club

(i don't have any cool pics yet for this one either because the subscription starts at the beginning of 2023 but look at the past designs on this website and tell me they don't absolutely fuck)

I saw a tumblr post from Hank Green about his socks subscription service where each month they get a new indie artist to design a pair of socks and all of their profits go to charity and look. i couldn't not do it. i fucking love weird quirky socks i was doomed from the moment i saw the words "awesome socks club".

8. REGALROSE (feat. Betrayal hoop dagger earrings)

REGALROSE is a UK based company that makes supremely badass jewelry. i picked up these dagger earrings to complement a wedding outfit and i think it worked very well if i do say so myself. Tbh very challenging to get good close ups of these lol so you're just gonna have to take my word for it that they're just as cool and badass in person as you might imagine. Favorite earring purchase of the year hands down!

7. Across a Field of Starlight by Blue Delliquanti

Became a huge fan of Blue Delliquanti after reading their excellent webcomic O Human Star (HUGELY recommend if you're in the mood for good sci fi with strong queer/trans themes btw!) and was thrilled to find out that they were coming out with a YA sci fi graphic novel with nonbinary protagonists earlier this year. Even more thrilled to discover how tender and heartfelt the story was!! Highly recommend for any graphic novel/sci fi enthusiasts!!

6. An Assortment of Records

My parents got me a record player for my birthday this year so obviously i had to buy the fuck out of some vinyls(there are plenty i bought that aren't pictured here but i was too lazy to scrounge up every single pic i have on hand of my records skdjfnskdnfs)

5. Sleepy Peach (feat. Choose Violence sweater vest, Locals Only bomber jacket, & Bird of Paradise cardigan)

Sleepy Peach is an independent clothing store that makes some bombass clothing, so colorful and fun and eyecatching! a friend sent me a link to their Instagram and i went OOH and never went back. I basically lived in the bomber jacket for most of the year and i have absolutely no regrets

4. Classics but Make it Gay: Volume II (edited by Nova & Mali)

Nova & Mali are a small queer publishing house that puts out some really incredible queer-themed art books and projects. This is part of a series that reimagines classic art through a queer/trans lens and it's absolutely gorgeous from start to finish, featuring so many talented artists it honestly blows my mind. They're planning on putting together a Volume III next year which I'm really looking forward to supporting!! (i also have digital copies of Cover Me Queer, an art book of queer-themed romance novel covers, and their Our Flag Means Death fanzine and they're both fantastic, just some outstanding work from these folks)

3. The Calorum Cookbook (unofficial Dimension 20 inspired fanzine)

Dimension 20's "A Crown of Candy" has an INSANELY talented fandom, it's truly jaw-dropping. The Calorum Cookbook is a charity fanzine cookbook inspired by ACOC's world that collects original recipes and TONS of amazing accompanying fanart and spot art. The layout is so professional and aesthetically pleasing, the recipes look so delicious (can't wait to try my hand at some of them!) and they even all come with little blurbs of in-world fanmade lore that put the recipes in the context of the show's setting in such a fun and creative way! Everything about this zine delights me and I'm so glad i decided to purchase a physical copy so I can hold it in my hands with childish delight and wonder. unfortunately i don't think they're selling physical copies anymore but I still recommend checking out the featured artists and contributors, this is a cool bunch of people!

2. Kinwamonster (feat. Monster Train bag, Big Bad jacket, & Home sweater)

One of my favorite independent clothing brand discoveries of the year! run primarily by one artist, i'm just so in love with the aesthetic and the quality of these products. This sweater is seriously the comfiest thing i own and i use the monster train bag for everything, it fits basically everything i need when I'm out and about. don't even get me started on this jacket, if it were possible to put it on and never take it off I ABSOLUTELY WOULD. I think they're currently on break but I'm really excited to see what they'll release in the new year!!!

1. Original lineart of Princeps Zortch from Dimension 20's A Starstruck Odyssey (by Amy Reeder)

This is undoubtedly one of the coolest purchases i have ever made in my goddamn life. unfortunately i am so hopelessly lazy and haven't gotten a frame for it yet so it's basically just sitting on my bedroom wall right now but MY GOD it is glorious. Thank you Amy Reeder for making such wonderfully compelling character art for dimension 20 and for the amazing opportunity to get my hands on the real actual lineart of my favorite npc of my favorite d20 season!!!!

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Fireworks

Prompt: Okay, I might be a bit late, but in honor of America being, well, America, could I request a Virgil hurt/comfort where he gets freaked out by the fireworks? Love your writing btw - anon

I've been experimenting with shorter form prose and I kinda like it???

Read on Ao3

Warnings: none

Pairings: platonic dlampr

Word Count: 1000

Virgil doesn’t hate the Fourth of July except yes he absolutely fucking does.

No, he’s not gonna do the whole rant, that takes too long, most people who are on Tumblr already know it by heart, we’ve been there, done that, no need to beat a dead horse.

No there isn’t, Remus, put that down.

The point is Virgil likes the Fourth of July not one little bit mostly because it’s gaudy. Come on, the oversaturated red-white-and-blue? Eugh. Princey can pull off red the way he does because he’s Roman and Patton can pull off country-club-dad vibes without trying. Logan doesn’t like the Fourth either so he’s in no danger from that navy getting corrupted by gross displays of patriotic affection. The most they ever get from Logan is his ‘I Voted’ button which is perfect and all they need. Janus is yellow and more on the hating-the-Fourth trend than Virgil is. Solidarity.

Remus just likes the excuse to throw hot dogs and mustard at people. Sure.

Patton likes the Fourth because it’s a good way to spend time as a family, allegedly. It’s not like they have another choice, not with the way everyone wants to get together to celebrate. The man isn’t allowed near the grill. That’s the rule. Which is fine, just distract him enough for the cooking to be over and done with and everything’s fine.

Roman…also doesn’t really like the Fourth, but he does like the excuse to sing. Really loudly. Eh, Princey can actually sing, so it’s fine. And he will come and hide with Virgil in some out-of-the-way corner so they can complain about other people.

Logan gets into political fights.

Yes, you heard that right.

It’s not pretty.

Well, when everyone’s a little tipsier than normal and Virgil can stand to be around people he normally hates just to watch Logan fucking annihilate them, it’s pretty fucking satisfying.

Just dodge the hot dogs and keep Janus from running his mouth too much, that’s the deal.

No, the part he really hates is when it gets dark.

Fireworks are awful. He’ll say it. Sure, from a chemistry and marketing standpoint, they’re great. Fantastic. Continue to exploit the planet for temporary momentary and aesthetic appeal, sure.

He loathes the damn things. They’re so fucking loud.

And you never know exactly when they’re going to go off.

And the whole fucking day is just a lead-up to those fucking things, so if you leave before they happen or while they’re happening, everyone will talk about it. Oh, where’d you go? You missed the best part! Come back, the fireworks are starting, we can’t leave until they’re done. Just stay ‘till the end of the show, it’ll be fine.

No, no he will not.

So when he’s half-heartedly swatted at half a dozen mosquitos and sat down in a chair that had soda spilled onto it and threatens to buckle under his weight—thanks for those additional body issues, you limp cardboard excuse for furniture—he grits his teeth and tries to pull out his headphones as stealthily as he can. He’s learned from having his phones slapped out of his hands, or worse, confiscated, by too many haughty relatives that if he wants to try and protect himself when they start to go off, he’s got to do it carefully.

Not too carefully that his phone dies and his headphones won’t connect, though!

“Shit,” he mutters under his breath, “shit, shit, shit—“

He glances around. No way he’s getting out of here. No way. He’s trapped. He’s stuck. No way out. He’s going to have to stay here. They’re about to go off at any second and he’s stuck, nowhere to go, nothing to do, nothing to distract him—

Of course, he’s overlooked one thing. And that is that nothing happens to him without the others noticing.

So when Roman and Remus start loudly bickering about how hot it is and Roman flounces his way back inside with Remus chasing after him, he misses the look they exchange and the way Roman veers slightly to the left to crash into one of the rudest aunts they have.

He misses the way Logan discreetly pockets the last snack pack for Virgil as he stands, muttering excuses about keeping the twins in line.

He misses the way Janus carefully scoops him up, doing it in a clever way to make it look like Virgil is the one doing the leading as they scoot toward the door.

He misses the way Patton nods as Janus raises an eyebrow, distracting would-be worriers—real and fake—with thank-you’s and well-wishes and promises they won’t remember by morning.

He does remember the soft thud of the car door and the instant muffling of all the noises.

He does remember the way Roman’s hand cards through his hair and guides it to his shoulder, humming a song under his breath as Remus takes his hand and starts playing with it.

He does remember Patton turning the radio on low as Logan begins to navigate them home, Janus behind the wheel as he glances at Virgil in the back seat.

Roman softly asks if he thinks he can make it up the stairs home, helping him to the couch and placing the noise-canceling headphones over his ears. Remus plugs them into the headphone jack and hands the phone to Virgil before tugging Roman to help get the blankets set up.

Logan finds the documentary and they sit, opening his arms to welcome Virgil down with them. Janus and Patton bring the snacks in from the kitchen as Janus curls Virgil’s hand around the snack pack.

As the documentary plays, Virgil leans his head onto Patton’s shoulder and smiles.

He hates the Fourth, he loves his family.

General Taglist: @frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes @iminyourfandom @bullet-tothefeels @full-of-roman-angst-trash ��@ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83 @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious @firefinch-ember @fandomssaremysoul @im-an-anxious-wreck @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch @enby-ralsei @unicornssunflowersandstuff @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer @i-am-overly-complicated @annytheseal @alias290 @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @crows-ace @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734 @triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo @cerulean-watermelon @puffed-up-bees @meltheromanstan @joyrose-fandomer

If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

[arcane-ish]

With Riot going out and confirming Graves/Twisted Fate,

Lee Sin/Udyr

and Sett/Aphelios (at least in Spirit Blossom),

as well as adding K'Sante/Tope

, it readdy made me crave and AU where every boy-on-boy champion ends up in the Last Drop, either bitching or bragging about their love life while Vander gives advice (because you know, those who can't do, teach and all that).

And Silco sometimes sarcastically slinks in to taunt and mock, because it's a less traumatic AU.

Anyway, here my randomly made up head canons on what their interactions would be like (don't read if the thought of slashing Vander and Silco with the right of Leagues bachelors makes you wish for brain bleach):

Graves gets drunk, cries in his beer, starts a bar brawl and Vander has to drag him away while Graves complains about Twisted Fate being unreliable.

Vander lets him sleep it off and thhen carefully tries to help Graves up his gay game, including body hygiene, playing hard to get and giving better blow jobs. (also maybe he invites Silco and they doubleteam Graves)

Twisted Fate shows up and it takes roughly two sentences from the silver tongued devil for Graves to run off with him. Also, Silco dislikes him instantly because he's not gonna stand for somebody else and younger trying to outstylish and outcharme Silco in his own town.

Udyr also gets very down and mostly brags about his boyfriend is the coolest and hottest and most passionate guy and he's totally going to return to him one day and insists on showing everybody his hankerchief. He also ends up in Vander's bed to sleep it off, but mostly complains about being torn between Lee and having to go back to see his daughter Sejuani. Vander casually suggest a "Wanna fuck", but they are both kind of not really into it and end up brawling instead. (I actually think it not happening would be more coming from Udyr since he would probably think that Vander is way too much drama)

Now in general, Vander and Udyr should have a lot in common with the whole "struggling with your inner beast" thing, but somehow I think they have very different positions on it and so wouldn't really see eye to eye. Also, even though Udyr wants to resist the Volibear, he seems a lot more in tune with his violent side (and actually arguably more in line with Silco in regards to "the Freljord needs to be cruel and violent").

Anyway, after Udyr moves on Vander is stuck wondering whether he could pull off braids and tattoos like that.

(Silco has little opinion on Udyr and thinks that he's mostly meh and basic. Vander defends Udyr)

Lee shows up only very briefly and he is very calm and just business (though he does start a bar brawl as well which he easily wins), at the most sharing a secretive smile. Silco tries to kind of prod him to see what he's about, what kind of potential he has, but Lee is unimpressed and uninterested.

Sett and Aphelios show up together, hanging out at the counter, though Sett is easily distracted. Silco thinks that Sett is a poser and dumb hottie and dislikes him enough to seduce him into a tryst and blow Sett's poor mind with mad seduction skillz and then kick him in the curb, leaving poor Sett very confused.

Aphelios mostly drinks quietly alone. Vander thinks he's a nice kid, though that there's something off about him (you know, sister ghost voice in his head and all that). He thinks Sett maybe isn't ready to really settle down yet, but Aphelios seems calm about it, maybe the two kids will work it out in the end. Maybe with some additional help. (btw, I like to think that Aphelios and Viktor would really hit it off for some reason)

K'Sante knows how to hold his liquor very well. though he's very loud and constantly boasts about his great hunts, entertaining the entire bar. (and I could picture Vander being subtly jealous/feeling like K'Sante is creeping in on his territory in regards to being big and charismatic) As the evening goes on, K'Sante gets talking about Tope. I kind of picture Vander being low key fascinated by the show. "Wow, a non bitter breakup? That's something that exists? Wait, a guy who tries to make you more level headed and doesn't encourage your worst instincts?" Plus he might relate to K'Sante's "I was a lot more obsessed and hot headed in my youth" story.

As for Tope, don't know if Vander would have a lot to say to him other than wishing him luck and maybe mentioning that he met K'Sante and that K'Sante spoke highly of him.

I feel like Silco would like Tope, if Tope was the planner in the relationship, be would maybe try a bit to see if Tope could be recruited, if he has any bitterness that could be exploited, but I like to think that he would let him run along. (generally I think Tope and K'Sante woud be cool in Silco's book since they resist imperialists, I coud see him trying to flirt with K'Sante to piss Vander off. I think K'Sante would be amused but figure out pretty quickly that there are more complex motivations going on and withdraw from the situation. While K'Sante would appreciate Silco's planning skills, I think particularly post-breakup enlightened K'Sante wants a nicer guy)

(also: Draven is not confirmed, but in my head canon I'm convinced that he's Vander's every other year or so booty call)

[daggersandarrows]

i think almost every single issue i have with the cr fandom can be summed up with the responses that i got when i said “molly is yasha’s soulmate”.

“ummm eww, she’s a lesbian?”

there’s so many problems with this one i’ll just take it from the top.

yasha was not confirmed a lesbian (by someone else, btw) until we were in the triple digits. this fandom hates the possibility of bi women so bad it’s embarrassing. y’all know how often i see people call keyleth and vex het? and allura a lesbian?

yes, AND? how does her being a lesbian invalidate her having a soulmate who isn’t a woman. how. i’ll wait. as far as i know “lesbian” means “is attracted solely to women/women adjacent people”. why do soulmates have to have anything to do w attraction.

“gross, yasha is not attracted to a man”

sigh.

first off, see the first point, soulmate does not necessitate attraction.

second off, even if it did, mollymauk is not and never was a man--or at least not solely. and he’s not a cis man, goddammit, which is what the more insidious version of this argument looks like--”yasha isn’t attracted to a cishet man”. also he’s BI.

this wasn’t a late reveal or anything either. in EPISODE GODDAMN TWO we have confirmation of nonbinary molly.

molly ids as genderfluid. now idk how yasha thinks of her own sexuality, but if she wanted to include him in hers then...that’s...okay. it is. stop arguing. there are *plenty* of lesbians dating genderfluid people out there.

“you mean PLATONIC soulmate right haha”

i mean, i could mean that. i could. i could also mean other things this doesn’t have to mean platonic or i’m a terrible person.

this is where i’m sure im gonna lose some people: in addition to the above points about genderfluid molly, let’s just consider for a moment that i did not in fact mean platonic soulmate. or romantic actually.

let’s think about what it means if i meant sexual soulmate.

“thane what does that even mean what are you talking about”

i don’t know! soulmate has extremely variable definitions some of which are highly amatonormative but for right now let’s just say someone whose sex life meshes with yours so well that it feels like you were made to have sex with them.

this fandom has a huge and i mean HUGE problem with thinking that sex = romance and that sex MUST under ALL circumstances = sexual attraction. also the understand of consent is so poor here my god

i don’t have the time energy or brain to get into ace shit here and trust me i’ve been treated horribly by both allos and aces alike for how my identity presents itself but i will just say this

i have never been sexually attracted to anyone i’ve had sex with.

i have never been ROMANTICALLY attracted to anyone i’ve had sex with.

i like having sex.

i also know kind of a LOT of people who have sex with people who are “outside” of their identity. this isn’t an uncommon thing, very online tumblr gays.

for some reason people HATE that here. but my point is: if yasha and molly were fucking it doesn’t change anyone’s identity and it didn’t have to involve any attraction at all, and if you don’t want to see that that’s absolutely valid but it does NOT give you the right to read every thoroughly tagged fic and leave nasty hate comments or worse for the author because of it. (i’m looking at you, allos who decided to run ace fjorclay shippers off the internet.)

and last but not least, the fact that so many people violently object to this statement that i made--angry, indignant, accusing me of hatespeech, etc, when it’s word for word something that ashley said, right next to where she was comparing molly to, y’know, yasha’s literal wife. so. i can’t imagine how mad certain people would get if i made that comparison myself.

which brings me to my final point: i’m not sure that some of y’all are actually watching the same show as i am and it is very annoying for the rest of us.

[gullethead]

what is your opinion on tamsyn muir discourse (and also what is the discourse)

THANK you. okay warning for discussion of fictional sexual assault, real life CSA (not something she did), plus 2012-era homestuck fandom typical stuff

please rb this btw, unless you dont want to, in which case dont. also if you have any corrections or additional information to consider please add by all means

disclaimer: im not in the habit of writing essays defending whichever internet personalities i like. ill admit theres potential bias, given that i read the books before i learned about this, but im really being as objective as possible and i just think people are taking a misguided or half-formed stance on this. if you still dislike her or w/e after this thats, like, perfectly in your rights. im not defending an adult woman on the internet, im explaining the facts as ive seen them and understand them. additional disclaimer that i havent experienced sexual assault at all myself

okay so tamsyn muir is currently well-known as the author of the locked tomb trilogy (aka gideon the ninth and harrow the ninth), but for a certain section of tumblr shes also well known as urbanAnchorite, and used to be a big name fan on here up until around 2014 - pretty close to everything here is going to be from roughly 2011 through 2014, except for an interview im gonna get into, so 7-10 years ago. i was only vaguely aware of her until after i got into the locked tomb and saw people talking about this. with that in mind:

so the MAJORITY of the discourse revolves around a single fic she wrote on AO3. her account has 19 works in homestuck, and some of them are Kinda Weird to Pretty Bad in retrospect, but being completely honest this is the only one that isnt completely stock standard for homestuck fandom in that time period. like if we started casting stones about ten year old fandom stuff we'd be here all day

here is the fic (warning for CSA)

in most of the posts about it ive seen, theyve described it as a "rapefic," but actually reading it, it's a lot more nuanced than that description implies. its a dark story where a grown man abuses a girl, from the man's perspective, and the story ends with him being killed by her friend. the description of the assault is treated very seriously by the story and barely even touches on any actual sex, before immediately cutting to him being killed. its lolita if humbert got shot to death; the title itself comes FROM lolita

(sidenote - it was inspired by a prompt on kinkmeme, but that doesn't really mean anything vis a vis being intended for sexual enjoyment, and according to the note actually went against the spirit of the request)

ive seen fics, lots and lots of fics, that would qualify as the term "rapefic." it tends to be pretty fucking obvious when someone is using sexual assault as a fetish, and this is Not That

tamsyn herself actually responded to this in an excellent interview early last year. she gets into some Fandom Mom type language, but essentially says what i said above. in it, she also says this:

It’s not the first time I’ve been accused of being a paedophile. I grew up gay in the nineties. Homosexuality and paedophilia were enmeshed in society’s minds. When I came out, I got told that I shouldn’t be around children. I was used to that because it was common discourse, and it hurt like all hell, but it didn’t shock me. When I got called a paedophile by Twitter I got clotheslined. My support network had to get in pronto. I was very ready to have a hot date with a length of rope, a date I have arranged and cancelled multiple times over my life. I have had lots and lots of therapy over the years for various conditions, some of them lifelong and some not, but when that Twitter call-out happened it was hard to want to live. I thought I knew so intimately what I was doing with my fiction; my therapist was always so supportive of me writing about it. I have not been open about being a CSA survivor because, again, I grew up in the ‘90s. ‘Lesbian’ and ‘CSA survivor’ is just carte blanche so a whole queue of people can tell you, I HOPE ONE DAY, WITH LOVE AND SUPPORT, YOU CAN BE STRAIGHT. It was like, right this way to the invalidation booth. I didn’t even tell most of my girlfriends! I told one! It’s not a topic of discussion between me and my family; I am relying on them not reading my interviews so it can remain where it belongs: thoroughly undiscussed!

with this context it becomes... a lot more nuanced of a topic. an author who experienced CSA in addition to growing up in a cultural climate where gay people were pedophiles by default, especially growing up catholic in a rural community, wrote a work about childhood sexual assault (which also happened to be fanfiction) as a way of working through it for herself, which is... something a lot of artists do with their art? and in return she got a massive blowback on twitter accusing her of pedophilia and demanding she talk about a massively traumatic moment in her life

this is the major sticking point of the discourse, im not gonna get into anything else on this post, but this is my view of it. if you disagree or have anything to add then feel free to add on. again, i know what it looks like, but im not trying to uncritically defend a stranger just cause i like her book. this is the conclusion i came to after doing a lot of digging for myself

[bisluthq]

hi I was wondering what your favourite sapphic songs of Taylor's are? cause kaylors make such a big deal of the 'male perspective' in songs like our song, love story, mine. and I agree that wanting to experience that is gay in itself. but those songs just feel so straight country love songs that I really cannot see them as sapphic, particularly given that she also sings from the 'female perspective' to the man. so I wondered which songs feel most sapphic to you?

Ohh boy yeah the male perspective (except Betty where it’s gay in concept and feels very like when 15 year old me was obsessed with Blue Mountain State lmao) never screams gay to me. Let’s do a roundup of sapphic lyrics and themes.

In Teardrops on My Guitar, Taylor says: “Drew walks by me... Can he tell that I can't breathe? And there he goes, so perfectly... The kind of flawless I wish I could be.” Now the whole song’s unseen pining is pretty gay to me. Like I say, there are unrequited straight songs but it’s very like... “why aren’t you understanding that I’m right here? How can you be so blind?” In Teardrops Taylor seems very aware that this person (well boy in the song) won’t ever notice her.

And sure we could say “well she has poor self-confidence” but then there’s that line in the bit I chose: “The kind of flawless I wish I could be” - why is she comparing herself to a boy? Do I want to be you or do I want to fuck you is such a big mood for queer women especially young queer women. I dunno, like my first few late elementary/early middle school crushes (and my first few crushes were on girls) were very like: “Do I want to be her? Do I want to be her best friend? Or do I want her to hold my hand? And why does her holding my hand make my heart beat faster and seem to have no effect on her?” There’s a definite way queer women compare ourselves to the object of our affections that straight women don’t seem to do that makes “my crush is the kind of flawless I wish I could be” feel extremely sapphic to me.

Oh bonus one from Teardrops: “The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star / He's the song in the car I keep singing. Don't know why I do” - why doesn’t she know? Like what’s confusing about this situation? She likes this dude why is it such a big fucking deal that she does? And again why does she want to be like him?

Anyway yeah that whole song.

Also Invisible is gay af. Like if you reverse the pronouns it’s the universal queer woman’s story of being in love with your friend. And this bitch is into some dude who isn’t anywhere near good enough for her and your affections are invisible but if she only knew - and she won’t - the two of you could have something beautiful together.

Stay Beautiful also reads gay but apparently she wrote it in the fourth grade so maybe her vocab was just bad idk.

On that album, Tied Together with a Smile and I’m Only Me When I’m With You are formally, officially, according to Tay’s explanations about her female friends btw. If you listen to those two songs and then the first two I listed they’re... not that fucking different lmao. It’s that same idea of “you get me and I just want you to be happy”. It’s all just... gay...

Fearless is probably one of the least gay albums overall IMO (tho I’m open to people making stuff gay) but it does give us the title track which is very fucking gay lol so it makes up for the number of straight sounding songs on here. First there’s this bit:

We're drivin' down the road

I wonder if you know

I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now

But you're just so cool

Run your hands through your hair

Absent-mindedly makin' me want you

Man “I wonder if you know” is exactly that feeling I was describing like, I wonder if you realize this is more than friendship? I wonder if you know that I want you. And the “you’re just so cool” isn’t as explicitly “I want to be you” but it’s also got some of that shared energy. This person is so cool that them running their hand absent-mindedly through their hair is making her feel some type of way and yet she’s not sure if the person knows that. Now why wouldn’t this extremely cool guy know that the girl he’s giving a lift to is possibly interested?

Then there’s this bit:

My hands shake

I'm not usually this way

But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave

It's the first kiss,

It's flawless,

Really something,

It's fearless.

Why does this first kiss require so much bravery? It’s not her first ever because “I’m not usually this way” implies she has been in a similar position before. And then:

And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress

Fearless

“I don’t know why” - well because you like this person! Girl, you’re into them. Oh, you’re not sure why because it’s a girl? Also lbr discussing clothes with your crush/partner is a very gay girl thing so just that addition of “my best dress” in the context of the rest of this incredibly gay song is... gay...

Oh and a bonus point:

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this

You take my hand and drag me head first

Fearless

Making that big a deal of handholding and saying it requires bravery is, you guessed it, gay af. 

Untouchable also delivers some gems: “Untouchable like a distant diamond sky / I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why / I'm caught up in you” - I mean this is that whole vague confused forbidden vibes I spoke about before and the “And when you're close I feel like coming undone”. For me, it’s the fact that this person’s mere presence is enough to make her undone and she’s begging for a “taste of Heaven” feels... gay...

Jump Then Fall is also pretty damn gay to me. It’s got that dangerous “this could be dangerous” thing going on (“I had time to think it all over and all I can say is come closer”) but it’s also positive and... she’s saying jump and I’ll catch you which... like I get that it could be metaphorical but generally with het couples the dude would do the catching. Like if it was just that it’d not be that gay but again, the whole thing... is...

Whoa, oh, I need you baby

Don't be afraid, please,

Jump then fall

Jump then fall into me

Baby, I'm never gonna leave you

Say that you wanna be with me too

'Cause I'mma stay through it all

So jump then fall

Jump then fall, baby,

Jump then fall into me, into me

Like why are they both so scared? Why is she convincing herself and this person? What’s the danger? Is it just meant to be a “loss of virginity” song?

Then there’s the catching bit I mentioned:

The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet

I'll catch you, I'll catch you

When people say things that bring you to your knees

I'll catch you

Idk man. It’s gay.

By the way for two unrequited songs that fundamentally feel straight to me, look at The Other Side of the Door and You Belong With Me. I’m not saying you can’t have queer readings. But both of them have that “blame” angle to the guy’s lack of interest or inability to requite her feelings. Like she’s saying “I won’t tell you what I want or that I want you but you should figure it out ya big dummy!” which is inherently different to that “I know this is completely pointless and I’m barking up the wrong tree” energy of the other songs I mentioned. “I’m worried you’ll hurt me” songs are also different to “if you stand close to me I’ll completely fall apart but I can’t let you see” of... like... Untouchable.

Hey Stephen has the “I can't help it if you look like an angel” line but it’s generally straight for me because:

Hey, Stephen,

I could give you fifty reasons

Why I should be the one you choose.

All those other girls—

Well, they're beautiful,

But would they write a song for you?

Do you see what I mean it’s like “I know you might not want me but you should” and that’s not a sapphic vibe. Like that’s to me what makes her gay sounding songs so much gayer like they capture a very specific feeling - being confused on if you want to be her, be her friend or fuck her dumb ass.

On Speak Now Taylor adds another type of gayness into her repertoire. She does the “I’m singing about a guy but it’s all about a girl” thing in Better Than Revenge. Now I know she has been called out a lot for this and she herself has now said obvi girls don’t steal your boyfriend BUT that’s not the part I find interesting. It’s shit like: “She thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things” - like girl, that is psycho. Being obsessed with the fact that she is wearing vintage dresses is weird. And Taylor does this in the title track with her lengthy descriptions of the bridge compared to ZERO description of the guy. Not even “looking so handsome” - like there’s nothing. But the bride is “floating down the aisle like a pageant queen”.

Idk this is only three albums and only like my favorite gay bits and I already have so many and I haven’t even gotten to Treacherous 😭 I think I should make a hashtag for this and carry on later.

The point is, for me, it’s not about her singing a back and forth with a guy and a girl. It’s capturing supremely sapphic wlw feelings that I’ve never seen a straight female songwriter or musician convey, even where I’ve loved their music and felt it strongly resonated with me for other reasons.

[vaguely-concerned]

The Untamed Liveblog

Yes hello I watched the whole thing and wrote down some of my thoughts and feelings along the way so I wouldn’t fuckign EXPLODE! Only look under the cut if you’re prepared for a truly outrageous amount of rambling (...no really)  

- I am elated to find that so far every adaptation I’ve seen has faithfully preserved the absolutely bizarre structure of the original book, I am appreciating the dedication haha

- the actor lends this version of lan wangji such an edge of youth and vulnerability right from the beginning, it breaks my heart. I don’t care how good he is with a sword, you can’t expose this pure sweet boy to the horrors of war!!! 

- I am so glad I already know who all these characters are and wtf is going on, I can’t imagine watching this first time without that knowledge lol 

- I love how they’ve made nie huaisang look so small and soft next to all the other cultivator, he looks like a floofy and eternally confused baby birb ;______;

- nhs citing the goldfinch as the reason he doesn’t want to die (presumably because no one will know to take care of it) TOT ur meant to be comic relief in this part of the story buddy you can’t make me cry like this yet!!!

(also the actor for wwx effortlessly sliding into being protective and reassuring and Good in a crisis. wonderful!)

- the actor for xue yang has chosen to go with the sexy baby school of evil acting normally associated with female villains and for that I can only applaud him

also setting up characters who are going to be important later on is something this show is doing better than the original haha, both the extra wen quing & ning and song lan & xiao xingcheng content is appreciated. (especially the latter suffered from ‘oh yeah those two -- actually wait who the fuck are these two again’ syndrome for me when I read the book. additional note: I am very sorry but clearly they are gay there’s no other explanation here)  

- poor jiang cheng, they really haven’t given him much help in this huh. I would sort of have preferred it if they let him be ever so slightly less abrasive in the beginning, like in the book and the animated version; I’m not feeling quite as devastated over this relationship as I did in either of those.

- lan xichen’s soft knowing smile is a blessing every time. just a nice man. did not deserve this. protect.  

- kudos to the actor for jin guangyao for the instinctive creeping unease I feel whenever he talks, even at this stage. he’s a wrong ‘un sir he’s a wrong ‘un

- y’know both the fact that nhs spent three days catching a bird and kept it with him undetected and that he’s the friend you go to for the good porn and managed to not only smuggle it into the cloud recesses but did so without getting caught... some wonderful subtle foreshadowing here (to make up for the very blatant visual foreshadowing that’s already been given out I assume lol)

- anyway lan ancestor lady and baoshan-sanren? gay. sad and gay. (I love how thoroughly wwx is getting to meet the in-laws btw lol how often do you have to meet your future spouse’s family from like three generations ago and take care of her rabbits for her after she’s gone, all before you even get to second base)

- fkadshfkasjdlhfsdjkfh the sheer consistency of nhs wistfully commenting on all the beautiful men surrounding him fsadfkjsdhfksd I think they might oh so subtly be hinting at some stuff here. HILARIOUS that this version, which has to maintain at least the veneer of some plausible homoerotic deniability, is a lot more overt about it than the book, which is free to be balls to the wall as gay as you please  

- oh no nie mingjue just showed up my entire heart is on fire. BIG BROTHER!! so stern yet fair, so righteous, so worried y______y also can we talk about how his ‘hmmm I think imma stab it?’ approach to evil in general and xue yang in particular would have saved everyone a lot of grief later on? and he tells wwx the whole necromancy thing is probably not a good idea? (I really like how he does it too, he has so much Older Brother Energy it spills over when he talks to other kids around huaisang’s age lol. it’s good that they show his temper isn’t indiscriminate at all, he’s not angry at wwx even though his idea is provably incredibly dangerous) sole ornery voice of reason nie mingjue, also did not deserve what’s about to happen, I cry and my tears are blood  

- ‘yeah okay I get that you’re mad but have you maybe considered... I didn’t do it?’ is an unusually weak opening move from jgy considering nmj literally did just see him absolutely 100% do it

- there should be a WARNING at the beginning of episodes where nmj cries so one could be PREPARED for the emotional devastation!!!!! tollest & stronkest man of the cast also stupidly pretty and heartbreaking while crying, it’s not fair

- I love how every cultivation sect’s home (except for the wens b/c they’re cartoon villains) is refined and beautiful and luxurious, even when it’s in a restrained way like the lans’... and then there’s the nie place which is like ‘please understand that this is a fuckn fortress’

- aww this doomed jiang cheng/wen quing thing is cute! too bad about... everything that’s about to happen happening huh

- oh wen ning.  very hilarious that he’s known as the ~*ghost general*~ forevermore when actually... he is baby... cinnamon roll baby... too good for this world, too pure...

- how is this cgi turtle somehow less egregious than the one in the animated version lol. I quite like this bad little friend! long neck.

- oh NO lan wangji finally letting himself show that he’s in pain when they’re in private... i’m uwu  

this beautiful boy is so long and lanky tho, I must admit he triggers my parental instinct more than the hot boy alert at this stage (but that’s fine I’m not the one who’s going to smooch him that’s wwx’s job lol)

the look of absolute disbelief and despair lwj gives when wwx thinks he’s in love with mianmian... this show is a cinematic masterpiece and I will hear no other opinion  

- lwj looking at the love of his life completely missing the point: are you a joke to you (the answer is yeah)

- okay we’ve officially hit the point where everything’s about to go to hell for real, pray for me I’m not sure I can handle this again

- jiang fengmian acknowledge your other son who desperately wants your attention and affection challenge (unfinished)

- watching this scene knowing exactly what this promise means to jiang cheng and that wwx is going to break it... this is fINE

why the fuck did I do this to myself I know what’s about to happen when will I learn to quit while I’m ahead lol

- the change in subtext from the novel that EVERYONE sees wangxian coming from day one is so painful from jiang cheng’s side. this poor boy really has abandonment issues pelting him from every direction huh. tfw your idiot genius brother doesn’t even fucking realize he’s basically announcing he’s leaving your clan and your side to get married one day ;______;

- man mxtx is just so GOOD at peppering in the small private tragedies that somehow sting even worse than huge atrocities going on. the fact that madam yu and papa jiang never manage to reconcile and communicate except possibly in death... oof my friends. oooof.

- WAIT WHAT NO DON’T SHOW ME THE CHILDREN WHO’RE ABOUT TO DIE WHAT THE FUCK YOU MONSTERS

- like we’re right at the worst part now and she is an asshole... but damn madam yu’s last stand is epic tho. like a champ to the end

- wen zhuliu’s actor being able to uphold a look of tremendous boredom at all times regardless of what’s going on around him is Poetic Cinema Bitches

- jiang cheng and wei ying are holding hands on the boat... stab me in the heart... end my suffering

- you know what in this version we get to see that madam yu knew her husband came back for her and they died holding hands and not everything’s on fire yet, so far this isn’t quite as harrowing as the animated version. the dead children are fucking me up but the tone of the animated version is like a nightmare, this is less disturbing to me

also can we talk about how madam yu fought them off the whole day and night and her husband gets his ass owned within five minutes 😔 oh papa jiang

- oh okay turns out jiang cheng’s ‘I want my mom and dad’ gets to me in every adaptation good to know

they’re so young they’re bbs I don’t want to be here anymore haha

- wen ning. a sweet angel. just the goodest of boys. his sister raised him so well ;______:

- wen quing is so ethereally beautiful and also looks like she could stop a train with the force of one glance. like she’s my height but her presence is immense

- oh I see we’ve arrived at the tiny adorable flashback bbs part of this journey, let me just... just lie down somewhere huh

- outside of the central romance this is a tale about people who love their brothers very very much and it’s real sad for everyone involved

- me watching nie mingjue kicking down the doors to reclaim his own dang fortress: YEEEEAAAAH GO OFF DAGE!!! i um love him and his very handsome face

- jiang cheng dreaming about his family is EMOTIONAL WARFARE!!! how fucking dare!!!

- y’know what this isn’t a bad way of adapting the burial grounds thing! also pretty cost effective I imagine, gotta think about the budget when so much of it goes into fabulous wigs and robes

- credit where it’s due, the actor for wen chao makes his face do some shit I didn’t know human faces could do and he’s enjoyable to watch in the capacity as your friendly neighbourhood hate sink

- lwj consistently using wwx’s personal name even when talking to total strangers now... mhm this is also fine

- I can’t beliEVE this show is somehow less subtle about the gay stuff than the book, jin zixuan basically just asked lwj if he and wwx were... y’know... I guess cultivation partners would be the way to go here lol. between that and nhs more or less asking them if they were off fucking after the whole cold cave debacle... what a time to be alive even if they’re not going to kiss on-screen  

- huaisang I hate to have to be the one to tell you this but your brother is an entire snacc. and yet I respect him way too much to ever proposition him, I know he is busy winning a war and being Righteous and slowly being driven mad by the ghost in his sword on top of raising his little brother, I’m not here to complicate things for him any further

I love this version of nmj so much though. this sense that he also sees the stuff that is genuinely good in jgy and has a real moment of grief that the dude just can’t seem to get away from his basic insecurity that causes him to do horrific things, even when handed other opportunities... the fact that he seems regretful and worried when asking jin zixuan how jgy is doing with the jin....... everything to do with his little brother...................... oh no he’s Soft in his private life this is awful

- poor lwj’s ‘I have a bad feeling about this’ face in this scene haha, he’s staring at this talisman like ‘I only know one person smart and dumb enough to pull this off’

- can’t wen quing just get one nice thing. one nice thing just for her. hasn’t she been through enough. give her her brother back and a nice quiet place to practice medicine and maybe some soft romance with jiang cheng eventually this show is kind of selling me on this.  

- unexpectedly my favourite part of the revenge scene is just the camera switching back to lwj and jc watching in horrified silence like ‘...O___o dude this is fucked up tho right?? it’s not just me that’s messed up??’

- one is forced to wonder about wen zhuliu tho. this version reads as pretty explicitly depressed/suicidal to me, he’s kind of an interesting villain since his main traits are unquestioning loyalty mixed with unending indifference and also seemingly not too pressing a will to live

- oh nhs desperately trying to keep it together and pretend nothing’s different ;_____; this version is really driving it home that wwx is a lot of people’s only friend -- jiang cheng is mentioned to not have anyone but his sister to play with before he arrived, lwj was raised primarily on books and rules and his brother is ELATED that he has one (1) friend now, from the sheer depth of the attachment I’m willing to bet nhs hasn’t had many real friends in his life either. wwx gives and gives of himself and doesn’t know how to take help in return.    

- foreknowledge is a beautiful thing; if you look at nhs when it’s revealed wwx didn’t bring his sword you can visibly see his brain kicking into overdrive haha. smart boy.

- big sister ;_______; I am an older sibling so I haven’t really had the feeling of having an older sister to look to, I see why it might be comforting now

- oh this is some real uruk-hai shit!! honestly the special effects in this aren’t half as bad as I’d been lead to fear, some of you guys just weren’t forged in the crucible of shitty sci-fi channel cgi at an early age and it shows  

(honestly the weird fight stuff threw me much worse in nirvana in fire, because that series has such intricate, credible and realistic political world building and then people are flying all over the place through wire fu and it is so disorienting haha)

- oh nhs looking up at his brother like a puppy during the war council T______T baby bird boy

(between this point in the main story and fatal journey it’s very interesting how clearly nhs needs the emotional stability and safety of his brother -- who also seems to be his parental figure -- to function properly, even in his late teens. it looks like he needed more time to grow up than the rest of them even before they were all thrown into this awful bullshit. well he does have a lot of murderkitten brain to grow I guess that’s fair enough lol. wwx has some of the same thing with his sister too)

- whenever lxc and nmj look at each other it feels like the only two adults in the room meeting each other’s eyes like ‘...oh dear’

- aww lwj getting some advice from his brother. this poor kid really hasn’t been raised to handle the moral complexity of the real world huh, good thing lxc is here to lend some nuance to lan qiren’s unforgiving dogma

- oh lan zhan

- nmj’s plan to just idk somehow go in alone and fight the wen overlord mano a mano to avoid any more casualties... a spine made of steel, a heart made of gold, a head made of wood :’) truly a perfect man, good thing his brother got the brains in that family and he has some more sensible people around him

- in the face of inevitability I plead... jiang yanli... please don’t marry this asshole your son is going to be predictably insufferable

wwx has suffered through so much the last four months or so and yet his real breaking point is seeing his sister cry and can I just say -- relatable content

- NO! NO STOP HURTING HIM HE’S JUST GOOD AND HANDSOME AND DOESN’T DESERVE THIS

(could be applied to like 98% of these characters but in this case it’s nmj b/c I love him)

I do find it very funny and oddly comforting that nmj is literally so fuckn mad that it takes three times as many attacks for the evil sorcery stuff to take him down than we’ve seen used on anyone else fsdkfhasdkj too angry to die  

wHY has my brain chosen for me to attach so deeply to perhaps The single most inevitably doomed person in this entire cast, at this point I’m just being cruel to myself lol

- I can’t describe how much I love the fanficiness of this story, in the best ways. the emotional fallout from the destruction of the lotus pier gets more screentime and attention than the entire sunshot campaign, and that’s exactly how I want it to be.  

- they’ve been doing some great work to establish that the jin are also jeeeeeerks for such a long time, how’s that for foreshadowing

- equal opportunity traitor jgy gets his stab in lol one must respect the grift, though, he’s set himself up pretty darn good

*lxc stops nmj from killing jgy, hello darkness my old friend starts playing in the background*

fatal journey builds nicely on this fundamental thing that the nie boys take their responsibility to their people extremely seriously, it seems to be the fact that jgy so blithely talks about them as necessary casualties that really sets him off

- adlfsdfhsdkjh lxc and nmj meekly being like ‘...we could maybe... not commit war crimes? if that’s at all possible? no?’

*slaps ‘I don’t think you even tried at all’ stars on both of them* (I mean I actually do kind of see where they’re coming from a bit, they just came out of a pretty costly war and I wouldn’t feel too comfortable getting right back into it with arguably the wealthiest faction, who’s also been keeping back a bit and thus kept a lot more reserves. well played jin bastards well played)

- I could stop here. if I stopped here everything would basically be as okay as they could be and the world full of hope still. I suppose the question here is... do I love myself enough to quit while the going is good. and the answer is no I already started the next episode

- I think one incredibly endearing aspect of this version of nmj is that he has a look of faint but permanent worry about him. he walked onto the screen with a vibe of ‘...oh boy I don’t like where this is going’ and he’s just kept going ever since

in the book he’s kind of a flat character (whose one trait is Mad), I love that they’ve given him some depth and nuance here! probably partly down to the actor doing a great job, but this version has a real sort of warmth to him and also seems downright uncertain at times -- he thrives when there’s a clear goal and black and white sides, and is probably not  t h r i l l e d with the weird tentative political situation after they take down the wens lol. thank god he has his little brother to make ‘bitch please’ faces over his shoulder when the jin get weird about things

anyway I’m always on the ‘nhs you are SO valid’ train, but in this version nhs is quadruple valid, in fact only mianmian is more valid in this entire world

- one of my favourite parts of this show is when wwx enters a situation and the camera takes some time to zoom in on the faces of his family and friends to convey their sense of ‘oh god what the fuck is he about to say now’ dread    

- jiang yanli asking her little brother if he doesn’t want to stay with them anymore while crying is emotional kryptonite, help

this poor woman, she had to put all her points into emotional intelligence b/c god knows no one else in this family did

- hell YEAH lan zhan go break some rules!! treat yourself my guy

- hey sis if, theoretically, one hypothetically found oneself in -- for the sake of argument -- love with, as the case may or may not be, someone... how would one tell?? asking for a friend

- the whole summary of this fucking show is just ‘weaponized sibling feels’ everything hurts with foreknowledge why did I keep going

- aw no blindfolded kiss scene but here’s a scene with real earnest emotional intimacy stuff going on instead... I will joyfully take it your honor

- I do value and respect the translators giving us these subtitles so much... but they did also force me to read the words ‘bosom friend’ with my own two eyes right there and that was not very cool of them

- why oh WHY must jiang yanli, best person in the world, have been cursed with the horrible fate of being in love with the dumbest man on the planet

*jiang yanli juggling all the idiot men in her life* oh god my little brother is causing an international diplomatic incident again time to bUCKLE UP

oh ho ho you know shit is getting real when big sister gets mad I LOVE HER. suddenly you see she definitely her mother’s daughter after all lol

wwx crying because his sister just fiercely defended him in public... im uwu

- I hate jgy with all my heart but I do feel bad for him too. his barely faltering :) look while all his asshole relatives gang up on him sdfhskahf

- again the jin are dicks but when it comes to aesthetics they do go off, that’s such a beautiful shade of blue

- dsflhsdakjlfhsdakjfl sd this shot of lwj and nmj right before lxc drinks is the funniest framing imaginable b/c lwj is wearing a look of complete stonefaced

-___________-

and meanwhile nmj, who presumably has seen lxc drunk before since they’re longstanding bros, looks worried as fUCK

- awwwww I do love nhs capitalizing all of jc’s attention so the others won’t start shit with him/so he won’t get to say something publicly he’ll regret later because he’s (understandably honestly) mad at his brother for making his life even more difficult than it has to be (I have every sympathy with wwx but buddy... buddy must you make everything more complicated for your bro every darn time this is a real delicate political situation and he’s not suited for that even without your antics)

it’s a very nhs move because he comes across as slightly boorish and rude and thus leaves jc blameless and thus protected, you can get so far if you have no self respect lol  

- showing us exactly how wen ning died is honestly a little too mean this is not fun

- good god this poor grandma has been through the wringer hasn’t she

- oh. oh wen ning, who never meant hurt anyone in his entire life :(

- listen okay the end is in sight just a couple more horrific tragedies to get through and then it’s the weird romantic comedy buddy cop antics of the current day timeline to ride to the end

- it cannot be overemphasized how much this lan zhan is Baby, I so desperately want to help and protect him

- I’m going to stop shouting out individual actors on this show they’re all goddamn brilliant haha (but am I tho)

- most valid person in the cultivation world mianmian

also enjoying the exemplification of nmj’s character that is ‘not sure how I feel about this dumb kid with the big mouth digging his own grave ever deeper but that girl’s got guts and I respect that’

- wen quing is getting a taste of the dangers and pitfalls of having wwx as a little brother dfhskdalfhsdaklj she and jyl should compare notes (he’s so good tho T-----T)

- how does wwx’s actor have such natural dad energy at such a young age, too powerful

- people give so little thought to how fucked up jc’s situation really is here, like he’s just being an asshole for the sake of it. spend three fucking seconds looking at it with some realpolitik in mind and realize that the clans around him have just shown that they can and will wipe out an enemy clan together if need be, and that his own sect hasn’t even gotten back on its feet after the war that almost wiped it out. like wwx is unquestionably morally right but has gone about it in such a way that it’s real fucking hard to support him without going down with him and how do you calculate that risk when you’re responsible for so many more lives than your own

also so sad about jc being so afraid this entire time that wwx would leave him like everyone else... and now he has :( jc doesn’t handle it well but then who would at this stage

- there is something so pure about a quietly horrified lan zhan getting Dad Advice from these guys (well he’s going to be needing it soon enough so)

oh the utter softness of his face looking at wwx and ah yuan ;_______; thank god, some fluff to bolster my heart before we set off into the last harrowing ordeal here

LAN ZHAN’S ENTIRE FACE LIGHTING UP AT WEI YING ASKING HIM OUT thank fuck there’s still some joy left in the universe

this poor love struck man, someone help him  

lan zhan conscientiously grabbing ah yuan’s toys is fskhdfksjdlfhskjdhf

- lan zhan looking around the demon subduing cave: babe I love you more than life itself but this is tacky as hell

- crying because wen niiiiiing

- crying because sibliiiiiings

okay this is the last time the three of them will be together and nominally happy, need to appreciate it through my tears

- actually I take it back please just let the bad thing happen now so I don’t have to live in suspense anymore lol (...this probably says a lot more about me as a person than I’m strictly comfortable with)

- the fact that none of wwx’s little adopted wen family are AT ALL intimidated by him anymore is just... it’s too much to bear

again tho this book/show is so willing to let you dwell in the emotional stages of things in a very fanfic sort of way, I think it’s what makes the sad parts so much worse (and makes you feel so incredibly attached to these characters)

- I gUESS it’s a testament to jin zixuan’s character that he has any decency at all, considering who his dad is and where he was raised

I’m cracking up at their dad being the one who still doesn’t trust jgy tho lol snake recognizes snake

- jgy’s faint look of ‘are you fucking kIdDiNg me rn’ whenever all these jin douchebags talk is very entertaining. if he didn’t go on to do all that murder and incest and (probably) infanticide I’d sort of cheer for him no matter what kind of sociopath he is

- not to be a downer or anything but isn’t one month a little premature to be celebrating the survival of a baby in fantasy old timey china tho

sometimes I feel like looking back at history is just seeing a whole lot of dead children (and this is why I think that even if god did exist it would be morally inconceivable to worship him! sorry just a quick detour into my personal grudge against the inherent cruelty of the world there, let’s move on)

- it’s uncomfortable to watch even the outlines of the jin sect’s slow insidious stranglehold on power. even these random shopgoing nobodies know that nmj is Not Happy about these watchtowers and that it’s probably going to happen anyway. the jin are snakes but at least they’re clever about it and I do kind of respect that

- oh everything’s about to go so wrong I hate it

NOOOOO don’t make the zombie baby fight, nothing good will come of this

- man this is hitting me worse than lotus pier actually I’m just... crying haha

it’s almost cathartic tho... there’s something about wen quing’s dignity and certainty that really helps? I just really wish they hadn’t brought the whole little group, god I want them to be okay so badly and ah yuan will be all that’s left and. and just throw me into the ocean and let me sink tbh

- I know this is all so much black cgi smoke (pls let us see the red version again at some point btw that was cool as shit) but the emotional metaphor of wwx that you can’t take on more and more of other people’s suffering and trauma and not care for yourself because you will lose control of that at some point is just. very nicely done. (he’s a bit of an odd serial codependent for a lot of the story, isn’t he. thank god lan zhan is not a quitter)

- jin zixuan’s mom is breaking my heart a little here. this lady has been married to THAT GUY all this time and now this as well. sorry lady, I guess jgy probably Took Care Of You at some stage after this

- a) this is just real good acting for wwx. this is the perfect level of unhinged for this, even though I’m always like ‘just. just shut your mouth for one time in your life and stop digging this grave any deeper six feet should be enough for anyone huh’ at this stage of the story and b) I am cackling inappropriately at the shot-reverse-shots between wwx, jiang cheng and jgy. jiang cheng looks like everything he ever loved is falling apart around him and jgy is like ‘oh wow I didn’t even have to provide him any rope he’s doing an excellent job at hanging himself without me’

I love wwx so much but it did take him an unconscionable length of time to realize that when you set big enough things into motion you will not be able to control who it crushes along the way or who might steer it in the wrong direction. other people exist and have agency and a lot of those people are bad honey :(

- ah yes lwj being stopped by a barrier made of the physical manifestation of wwx’s trauma when he tries to reach him :’) this is okay and cool and fine    

- it’s admirably obtuse of everyone to look at wwx at this stage and still think he’s in control of uh anything lol

- oh okay that went better than expected I don’t know if I’m just inured to sadness at this point

jiang cheng looking like a little boy clutching his big sister’s body is tugging at my heartstrings a bit tho

- ooooh this battle hardened intense lwj!!! I guess I can sort of see it now

- oh lan zhan 2, electric boogaloo

- finally! time for some comfort up in this hurt

- my man nmj still so fucking angry in the afterlife that anything even remotely connected to him is shaking with rage in sympathy in the real world. a mood

- fdsahfsjdklfhsdajk wwx being like ‘I can take everyone saying I was evil but how DARE you not mention I was also a snacc’

- when do you think nie huaisang really realized that his brother wouldn’t have children and that he was up for the sect leader seat next? nie mingjue seems to have known pretty far in advance himself and tried to prepare his brother accordingly, but that kid really didn’t want the job so I imagine he’d try to live in denial as long as possible

vaguely related: no other family is ever mentioned by either brother or anyone else, and nie huaisang straight out says that he is the only main disciple (I seem to remember and with the caveat that I might have misunderstood the translation) when there’s the talk of them being sent to the wen as hostages -- I suppose you sort of have to be very selective when your ancestral cultivation method is sketchy enough that you should keep that shit on the down low and you know people die young from it. so I think it’s possible if not probable that huaisang is the last of his family. isn’t that a fun little thing to think about? haha. ha. help me  

- this random street vendor is an unexpected strong comedy performance, every face he makes is pure gold

- fkshafkjsdhfasd best introduction of adult nhs

- the quiet luminous love on lwj’s face whenever he looks at wwx in the present... give this man all the awards. it’s nice that wwx gets to be scared and childish and vulnerable with someone who loves him no matter what too, he’s been through some shit

- oh okay I see so the reason they chose to make fatal journey the way they did was because they already had the set built

- *nhs dropping one set of robes like that one gif from anastasia to reveal another even more luxuriously dandy-ish set under it* oh wow what a surprise to see you two down here, coincidences amirite (anyway here’s the testament to all the sins of my ancestors & a trail of breadcrumbs to lead you to the murderer of my brother)

no wait that’s slightly later isn’t it. well the point still stands

- dead!nmj is truly a mood -- “I don’t know where I am, who I am or what the fuck just happened but I do know that I am PISSED OFF”

(actually in the book I found that almost comforting -- at least the dude got to spend his afterlife doing what he loved (i.e. being angry), but this more nuanced and sympathetic version being trapped like that just. makes me very very sad)

nice of him to stick around to play a few rounds of hot or cold with his little bro’s friends tho lol. I mean from what I understand of this take on canon it’s actually the spirit of his sword and not him in person? but close enough, let me keep him as long as I can okay

- jin ling getting his dumb ass cask of amontillado’d within ten minutes of entering the tomb smh

look at your ROBES young man what is your (other) uncle going to say??

- hAH what did I say. pedagogic mastermind jiang cheng at it again

enjoying the fact that they chose the floofiest most benign-looking of dogs to play this ~*terrifying hound*~ so much

I have a lot of sympathy for jiang cheng, and the actor is doing a good job at aging him up here (not as good as lwj’s but then you can’t beat perfection). the way he’s calcified into bitterness and anger b/c he can’t express his emotions in a healthy nuanced way feels very... real I guess, people get like that sometimes

- I am somehow really endeared to this version of jin ling. a dumb baby, but a baby

- poor lan zhan lol “I LEFT YOU ON YOUR OWN FOR TWO HOURS AND YOU ALREADY MANAGED TO TAKE ON SOMEONE ELSE’S CURSE??? BABE!!!!!!!”

he consistently uses jiang cheng’s personal name too huh. well it is his brother in law I guess ETA: actually I’m an idiot ignore/forgive me, that’s jiang cheng’s courtesy name isn’t it. lan wangji is being salty/maybe-deliberately-maybe-not-(but-definitely-tho) distant/polite with him I think 

- y’know... as I watch lwj carry the love of his life around on his back with all the tenderness in the world and I see people in the comments yell about why do you always need everything to be gay they’re just good friends you’re all crazy... I realize all over again that there really is no level of queerness they’ll ever find legitimate or acceptable. which like. feels bad, but there’s also the freedom in remembering they are always going to be assholes no matter what I do, there’s literally no need to listen to them at any time.

- I am CRACKING UP; watching this episode right after seeing fatal journey sure is a treat hahaha. nhs really must enjoy the acting on a deep level because he is hamming it up and I am living for it    

“It’s nothing at all like unorthodox demonic cultivation methods!” he protests with his big innocent doe eyes, having yelled the exact same accusation at his brother within ten seconds of finding out about it dsfdskjha

- awww that’s such a sweet way of telling nhs who he is while both of them still get plausible deniability :’)

this show is making it a LOT easier to figure out nhs’ deal earlier just through visual storytelling and his reactions when lwj and wwx aren’t looking, but I guess you sort of have to do that without the benefits of selective POVs that you can do in written stories

- lan zhan’s little smirks are such a blessing

- can we talk about how INCREDIBLY rude lwj and wwx are being barging into other people’s ancestral tombs like they own the place. I know I said break some rules lan zhan but there’s such a thing as common decency too at least wipe your feet at the entrance or something

stop being big bullies!!! (nhs actually sounds a little salty at how debonair they are being lol he’s like yeah you’re doing what I want you to but you don’t have to be such dicks about it)

- nooooooo nmj don’t die ur so sexy ahaha (I jest so I do not cry godddddd my heart big brother come baaaaaaack)

I’m honestly finding it very hard to live with knowing that the last thing nmj saw in life was jgy having his little brother in his clutches D:D:D: looking at it like that... of course he came back mad as fuck, I’d probably do the same thing

- boys boys I love and support you but could you maybe not stand around talking about how this was totally a horrific murder like the murderee’s little brother isn’t standing right there?? i mean it’s useful for him but it’s kind of mean of you, I know neither of you were raised in a barn  

okay there’s wwx irrepressible protective instinct that’s better. I just... nhs standing there looking small and sad and soft and lonely isn’t the whole truth but it is part of the whole truth, it’s nice to see wwx being like this even after all those years. (the physical closeness in their friendship in their youth in this version is so gooood. outside of wwx the only two people we see nhs consistently allow close or seek out closeness from is his brother and MENG YAO, who can frankly burn in hell even more than usual for the flute thing in fatal journey.)

- lan zhan contemplating the inherent impermanence of everything good in the world and then immediately getting blackout drunk -- MOOD. also I have never seen a scene where someone so obviously was about to press a soft kiss to someone’s forehead or cheek, don’t worry wwx I see you through the censorship lol

(it’s incredible how well they’ve adapted the love story considering the fact that they technically uh can’t)  

- wen ning: shambles, zombie-like and disheveled with horror movie monster eyes, into frame

all of us: omg a BABY ToT

- live action drunk lan zhan is living up to the hype I am  d y i n g

this poor repressed man

fjskdfsdkjhf he could do sword fighting in his damn sleep probably

I will say that leaving ‘wei wuxian was also here’ is going to scare the crap out of these poor people whose only crime was keeping well fed chickens

- they r so in love someone hold me

- this nmj!kid I am LOSING IT, this is so cute I want to lie face down on the floor and cry

- the yi city arc is my least favourite part of this story, so I’m fortifying myself to get through a couple of hours of sexy baby xue yang here

- Dad/troll teacher!wwx is in fact everything

- oooh wwx has the same weird crooked fingers as me when they’re extended! just some small Facts About Your Friendly Neighbourhood Blogger there

- this is not at all a bad take on ah quing! she qte

- ‘what’s your husband look like?’ song lan, crying: beautiful

- xxc you didn’t think it was a little weird the dude wouldn’t tell you his name -- even a name -- all this time. honestly

I know you’re in a bad place and this is sort of a rebound thing from your actual true love but stop letting him gaslight you like this buddy :(

- time for some MASSIVELY FORESHADOWING PARALLELS my friends

- I don’t know if I’m just a heartless monster but I honestly don’t care that much about anyone but ah quing in this little sideplot lol (probably my complete disinterest in xue yang tainting everything else)  

- xue yang and jgy: the ‘sad backstory dude still inexplicably extra mass murder’ club

- godddd I’m so bored I’ve listened to this guy cackle ~*madly and evilly*~ for three episodes now when will it fucking end

- lan jingjy you are VALID

- fhsdkfhsdkj can’t get over baxia being like ‘OI you two stop gazing soulfully into each other’s eyes for five seconds and get on with avenging me’

must be annoying spending your afterlife in a pouch third wheeling the two most obnoxiously in love people in the world, I think this spirit sword is being admirably restrained and patient all things considered

- big brother I am so sorry you had to hang out under there all this time while this boring bullshit plot happened above you ;________________________;

I’m actually not clear on what the nie sect does with the bodies of the dead -- the saber tomb seems to be exclusively for the weapons/we see that some of the cultivators will go down there while they’re still alive to sacrifice themselves... maybe they go in the walls? I guess nhs is breaking tradition in a lot of ways tho so who knows!

- ‘from what I’ve seen he’s not so bad’ wei ying he smilingly asked you to use POWs for target practice I’ll allow lxc to be this dumb but you really have no excuse

- this duckling in red is a gentleman and a bro, one to watch

- wwx seductively arranging himself in the open window to cover his panic fsdkjfhsda

- lot’s wife WISHES she had the level of salt jiang cheng does

- ‘if they ask me any weird questions I don’t know the answers to I’ll have to pretend to be a total psycho’

lan zhan, dragging his husband with one deadpan face: I’m sure that is going to be a huge feat of acting for you babe

- NIE HUAISANG FALLING INTO FRAME AND LAUNCHING HIMSELF FROM ONE PERSON TO ANOTHER LIKE A GORMLESS WET RAG, I STAN ONE (1) BOY

‘but new problems appeared’  how is he such a mood

again tho you can give your unknowing accomplices so much space to investigate if you just don’t bother with self respect or dignity at any stage of the journey lol

- fjshdfkjlsahd that beat of lan zhan clearly taking a moment to contemplate the idea of wei ying confessing his love naked in public there

- uncle and nephew bonding time T________________T  

- fsakfhsadkjlfhsad I can’t deal with this mission impossible ass music in the background as a little paper gingerbread man scoots around the palace

whoever animated this was clearly having a lot of fun, I love the little details like his dangling legs and him rubbing his lil paper bum after landing

- poor qin su, one of the most screwed over people in this whole show. at least in the book he didn’t mean to

- ah su, you’re being very unreasonable about this, what is a little incest between friends

- straight culture is this being chill to keep in the adaptation but god forbid anyone got a loving queer kiss at any point (not blaming the showrunners at all, they’re clearly stretching the limits as far as they will go and maybe a bit more at a few points)

- YES SISTER CALL HIM THE FUCK OUT I always felt like she’s known something was a little off for a long time but never could put her finger on what exactly

- ‘can you still not let me go’ hey jgy you piece of shit who’s keeping whose head in a weird serial killer cabinet here

- THANK YOU FOR BRINGING HIS HANDSOME ALIVE FACE BACK TO MY SCREEN IF ONLY TO MAKE ME SAD

- he’s so beautiful and righteous and strong 😭😭😭😭 dage come back to us

(makes even more sense that he’s so pissed off about what jgy did if he’s already shown clearly that he’ll shut down the people fucking with him if it’s brought to his attention. he gave you every opportunity you little oh-it’s-never-really-my-fault worm of a man)

- another nmj about to cry warning needed here help me

dON’T FUCKING TOUCH HIM YOU SLIMY FSKJLDHFKSJDHFSKDJLHF

the nie traits are undying loyalty, rage, and the intergenerational trauma of watching your parental figures succumb to death and madness through the same cultivation path you practice

- my cause of death: nmj’s eyes shining with unshed tears

this version has that edge of vulnerability to him, you suddenly do realize he was once just a kid watching his dad die a horrifying death and then having to take on all that responsibility and raising his brother

nie boys unfailingly devoted to the people under their protection I’m gonna go bury myself under a tree or something

- I’ve had to turn the volume down so I can barely hear anything b/c my emotions are too big to for my dumb body to contain already I can’t listen to this

- extremely sad but also a little funny that part of the reason nmj died was that he had no interest whatsoever in the arts. ‘music is music right?’ says local jock

- I’ve just been whimpering the last twenty minutes this is awful

- huaisang’s voice breaking on ‘big brother, it’s me’... sdlakhgsdjklfhsadjkghsdkjlfhdskljhgsdalkhgsdklgjhsdjklhgkdjslhgjskd I’m going to the bottom of the mariana trench and I’m staying there goodbye

- I can’t wait to watch nie huaisang end this putrid trash man’s whole career in the most devastating way possible tbh

- I’m just so SAD T______________________________T I hate jgy so much my heart burns with it I’m so glad he’s about to get some dramatic irony shoved up his -- but I digress

- haha poor jin ling standing there watching all this messed up shit like ‘O.O thanks i’m nine’

- I wish I was as good at passing the fuck out on command as nhs, I feel like it would solve a lot of my problems

- just some low key soulmate shit no biggie

- wwx is basically fantasy old timey naked again here the SCANDAL except no scandal they’re clearly married

- wwx is being so much more patient with lxc than I would have found it in my heart to be at this stage. he’s like ‘lxc you are my brother in law and I truly appreciate you and everything you’ve done for me but it’s sadly up to me to gently confront you with all the ways you’ve been a dumb ho just b/c you think jgy has pretty dimples 😔’

- “You’re not qualified to talk to me” oh lwj I love you so much. I thought committing murder was forbidden by the lan sect rules but there you go  

- it honestly baffles me that some people think nmj would be the strictest parental figure in this universe when a) everything about huaisang suggests otherwise and b) lan qiren is right there

madam yu has that ‘super unforgiving to her son’s face but will also tear anyone criticizing him a new one’ mixed energy too  

- lqr: I raised a perfect obedient righteous cultivator

me & wei ying: you’ve ruined a perfectly good boy is what you did look at him he’s too repressed to breathe

- well their dad clearly paid enough attention to worldly matters that two kids resulted from it, I’m not quite sure where we’re going with this lxc

one’s an accident two’s a pattern etc.

- wow I was so confused about ‘confidante’ being used here b/c it makes absolutely no sense in context, and the comments helpfully informed me that it’s more accurately translated to ‘soulmate’ or something like that; that does make a whole lot more sense yeah

- bb!lan zhan kneeling in the snow is more than anyone’s supposed to have to live with tbh

- lxc being like ‘so yeah my brother will keep loving people long after they’re gone and unable to give him love back! just a fun fact there, something to think about anyway here’s wonderwall’

- soft, ever-so-slightly messy haired at home lan zhan deserves the world

- oh wwx’s shift away from thinking the truth doesn’t matter at all to realizing the truth of you being held fully and with love by one person in your life is enough as lwj plays their song ;______________________________; this is almost more romantic than a kiss scene would be honestly jesus christ  

- little apple is the best of us tbh

- apologies but they have 100% started to fuck off-screen at this stage, the looks wei ying is giving him dsafasdfhsjkd

- I take it back mianmian and little apple are the best of us

- imagine just finding the light bearing lord, second peerless jade of lan in his immaculate white clothes, peeking out from between your hay bales one day

- the exponential increase in lan zhan’s blessed little smiles lately: my oh-they-fawking thesis is validated yet again

- wei ying lying through his teeth: of course I remembered your face at once who do you take me for  

(lan zhan: smirks in quiet satisfaction)

- walejhgskdjhgsjdaklfhsadjkflafhsjakdsf wen ning is so cute I don’t know what to do with myself

- wei ying this is where you first asked him out of course he remembers

- lan zhan is like ‘oh shit I forgot to tell him about our son and at this point I’m kind of embarrassed to bring it up’

- I am NOT thinking about the lotus pond they made for him here, you can’t make me

- ‘the worst time in their lives’ yeah, but there was such love there too. it  h u r t s 

- the actor for wen ning is so good at making his expressions look deeply earnest but also a little uncanny, like moving his face doesn’t come naturally to him anymore but his Good Boyness shines through

- DRAGGED in public by his own son. rip wwx he had a good run of it before his untimely murder

- wow thank goodness sect leader yao survived all this time, his death would as we all know have been a huge loss to society as a whole

- “I’m just here to round up the numbers” I love him more than I can convey to you in words

I’m a simple person, I hear nhs’ chronically befuddled voice and a burst of pure joy is released in my heart

sdfhjksadhfsad his soft little 😕 face peeking out from behind people’s shoulders fkjsdhfsdjal

- will I ever get enough of nhs masterfully manipulating a situation through his own apparent cowardliness and uselessness? no is the answer to that it’s always entrancing to watch

nhs as a teacher, nodding sagely as his disciples exchange glances: it’s never too late to go home instead of going big. saying ‘fuck this i’m outta here’ is always an option

- also nhs seemingly doesn’t use a saber at all anymore, where he at least used to have one back in fatal journey times. I’m very happy he’s trying some new things, time to break that very sad traumatic chain of dying young and furious

also him getting someone else to do the work of fixing the ward or whatever fskdfhaskdlf

teacher nhs, waving his pupils away b/c he’s busy painting or something: class dismissed. and remember, if at all possible, get someone else to do your homework for you. as long as you don’t get caught that’s an automatic A

- wwx is literally the cat surrounded by knives meme here lol

- lol lol lol wwx just removed his outer tunic thing to reveal lan zhan’s undershirt still under there and you can see lan qiren silently seethe with ‘that little hussy has seduced my nephew away from the righteous path’

(do I personally believe in slut shaming of any kind? nah it’s dumb as fuck. do I think lqr does? yeah)

- hahaha I can’t tell if nhs’ slightly glazed look here is b/c wwx did something he didn’t plan for him to do or if it’s because he’s for all intents and purposes half naked in front of them. (tbh I think there’s a case to be made in this version that he has a sort of wistful would-never-act-on-it-for-a-million-different-reasons-lan-zhan’s-furious-jealous-stare-being-foremost-of-them crush on both wwx and lwj from back when they were teens)

- WOW all these dicks inviting themselves to lotus pier!!! r u d e

- lan zhan flexing on lan qiren by raising a happy well adjusted child even while he’s mourning the love of his life: what like it’s hard

- wen ning kept that toy for sixteen goddamn years don’t touch me

- I’m crying about jin ling give me a moment. he is baby okay he’s even younger than ah yuan by at least four years

the image of him hugging the only thing he’s got left of his dad... fsdalkfhasdjlkfhsjdakhfsjdk

- lan sizhui has a crowd of good uncles/dads and poor jin ling has a crowd of utter disaster uncles and it’s very unfortunate (yes wwx is on both of those lists)

it is very sweet that it’s jiang cheng who consistently actually looks out for him, even in his feelings-wtf-are-feelings sort of way. the least disaster uncle, but only by comparison lol

- I think this ouyang kid might be duckling in red from before? LOVING the interspersed nhs reaction shots to him, anyway fsakdfh (I’m going to make it sad: how many conversations like this do you think he had with his brother as a kid? that’s fine we can both cry now I don’t want to be alone in this)

- ‘mr ning’ im Y___________________________________Y

- extremely Here for yet another full costume change from nhs hahaha (he’s changed at the boat already, god knows how he pulled that off but I’d expect no less from him)

- nhs must have been a sect leader for at least a decade at this point, and he still manages to exude such a powerful ‘kid at the adult’s table’ aura. incredible. mindblowing, inspirational

- ...oh they went with the same version of the previous jin leader’s death huh (but GOD FORBID that anyone should be openly gay amirite lol) O___O again though WHY is jin ling here, jiang cheng??????? he’s like sixteen, he’s never going to dare to even kiss anyone after this

- nhs has the look of a man who’s had to sit on this disgusting knowledge alone for years and finally gets to share that icky burden around, merry christmas everyone if I have to know about this so do you

- I don’t know if this is just me imagining things or reading more into it than what’s there, but I think nhs is actually sitting in the same pose his brother used to a lot in this part of the scene (the upright posture with palms resting at the top of the thighs/hips, fingers turned inwards/towards each other; it looks sort of... solid and self-contained, I guess)

- I would call jgy knowingly committing the incest character assassination if he’d had enough character to assassinate even in the book, I would never have put it past him

- y’know... god knows nmj had flaws (I think my immense depth of love for him in this version comes precisely from how hard he tries even while being deeply flawed. him dumb but him always trying :’) well actually he’s not dumb at all, he’s shown to be pretty darn politically savvy, I’m just having a hard time finding the right word here. ‘inflexible’ is maybe closer ), but the big defining difference between him and jin guangyao (and consequently xue yang) is that both of the latter are completely open about the fact that they see themselves as more important than anyone else -- xue yang considers one of his fingers worth more than fifty people’s lives, jgy kills twenty sex workers as a mere afterthought to his own revenge on his father. meanwhile nmj gets Messed Up by people dying under his protection to the degree that he came up with one of the dumbest plans I’ve ever heard just so he’d be the only one at risk, just so no one else would get hurt anymore. hmnghsjhfs.   

- wen ning, proudly: my sister was the best doctor in the world 

me, openly crying: she sure was buddy

- wwx: hey lan zhan are there any sweet patient lan ladies with an open mind around

lwj: ...why

wwx: I just think our zombie son should start thinking about getting friends, maybe even a real home

lwj, subtly relieved: oh

- JIN LING BABY BOY NOOOO D:D:D:

- nhs I need you to come in and end this man I cannot look at his awful face anymore

- ugh this garrotte sound effect is really unpleasant actually well done

- THERE HE IS!!! conveniently swooning his way into the scene again, my guy ;_______; smol and soft-looking and about to utterly obliterate a man on every conceivable level 

I love every moment of the camera dwelling meaningfully on his innocent vulnerable face, this is going to be so great 

it’s too bad he’s a behind the curtain sort of dude, I would kill for a poirot-style ‘I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you here in the library’ moment here lol

- tbh jiang cheng’s got a point about that whole ‘making huge sweeping decisions about someone else’s life and never telling them about it’ thing

wwx has sort of structured himself as a person so that you’ll never be allowed to really reciprocate his dedication and sacrifices (unless you’re lz lol), and while that is a very sympathetic trauma reaction essentially it is sort of a dick move interpersonally.

- the weight and wisdom that comes along with the scars of older wwx... you love to see it

- nhs, with effortless grace, rousing from his disney princess slumber just as the real drama’s about to begin... your honor he is simply the best

-  T__________________________________________________________T big brother 

- the tinge of coldness in nhs’ eyes while he watches jgy through this whole scene even as he keeps up the ‘im baby don’t worry about me’ act.............. fashdfjlksdahfslkadj, not to say askfksjhafkjsldhfkjsalhfksjaldhfkls

- to say that jgy has perhaps ‘gone overboard with this’ might be the biggest understatement of any century lxc

- watching him kneel by his brother’s coffin here I’d like to propose that Nie Huaisang has exactly the same capacity for all-consuming rage as the rest of his family, except he can’t just vent it by hitting something real hard with a haunted murder saber so he has to get creative and that was real unfortunate for Jin Guangyao  

- one thing that’s always tickled me is that nhs did give jgy the choice. the people around him -- the people he claims to love -- could have been left out of it, no dishonor being brought to either his name or any of theirs... if he’d been willing to sacrifice himself. (probably a gambit where he knew that was never going to happen, but still!)

- nhs standing there in the background like ‘yeah yeah we all have horrifying family legacies buddy, we just don’t knowingly marry our sisters or arrange for mass murders over it’  

- arguably killing the previous jin leader could actually count as a good deed if not for the horrifying way he did it lol. jgy all over, he could have done something helpful, *john mulaney voice* and then he didn’t he just killed nineteen innocent women while he was on a roll instead

- while it’s sort of bullshit that some responsibility is taken away from wwx in jin zixuan’s death here it’s also making a bit more sense to me like this -- seems like an uncharacteristic gamble from jgy to just idk hope wwx would lose control at exactly the right/wrong moment. wwx is still at fault for how casually he treated wen ning as a weapon when he didn’t know what the consequences could be, I’m okay with this

- jin ling and the terrible horrible no good very bad week :( protect him

wow lan xicheng let’s stand around some more letting this awful excuse for a person tell this sixteen year old boy that his parents deserved to be murdered basically, I’m sure there’s a lot more fruitful discussion still left to be had here  

- talk shit about nie mingjue’s brother get hit su she hell YEAHHHHHH

big brother still looking out for him I’m fsdklfhajsdlhf 😭😭😭

- I’M SO FULL OF FEELINGS ;________________________________; at least in this version the implication feels more like he’s finally at peace? (hilariously wwx managed to purge/cleanse the saber spirit, which is the entire conflict of fatal journey haha, nhs really did get his best friend to do his homework for him yet again, INSPIRATIONAL)

- HELL YEAH FINALLY GET REKT YOU PIECE OF SHIT! PRESS F TO PAY RESPECT EXCEPT JOKE’S ON YOU I’VE GOT NO RESPECT TO PAY

They did do away with any and all ambiguity around nhs here and I’m totally cool with it, that was awesome

- I’m playing the world’s tiniest little violin right now, wow much sad fuck you and your dumb hat

- may I just say that the fact that jgy uses his last moments on earth to make lxc, a person he proclaims to love, feel as bad as possible about his now inevitable death even though it clearly wasn’t really his fault... is just proof that he has never actually loved anyone at all except possibly himself 

contrast with wwx, who tells jc that he’s sorry, dries his tears in the here and now and says to let the past go because there’s nothing either of them can do about it now and there’s no point in hurting themselves over it again and again anymore. jgy has the opportunity to give a similar kindness here and instead twists and twists the knife, so lxc will be in as much pain as possible when he’s gone. he’d rather be kept alive in lxc’s suffering than let him, someone he ‘loves’, ever heal and be happy. anyway I hope hell is real shitty for you jgy

- jgy you absolute piece of shit you couldn’t let my man have TEN FUCKING MINUTES to nap in peace? after sixteen years of your fuckery? urgh bye  

- nhs looking at lxc sadly when lxc can’t see him... one last ‘I don’t know’ finally closing out his arc... I love all of this so much, there’s such a nuance of... he is genuinely a bit sad about causing lxc pain but he also doesn’t regret what he did At All. (I guess most of what he’s done must be pretty easy to rationalize/justify to himself, since the vast majority of his work went into finding the horrible shit jgy has done and showing them the way home to roost, rather than creating fresh suffering from scratch. and then there’s also the whole mo family but uh well eggs omelettes amirite lol)   

- lan qiren telling people not to run or talk loudly b/c they’re at a temple, even under these circumstances fhakjsldfhkjsdafhkjsaldhf 

- god the casting people for this show have a perfect track record of finding heartwrenchingly cute kids my GOD

- jfdsafhaskdjfh I love how they’ve done the moment with the hat -- the way the flashback sort of indicates that nhs does recognize on a deep level that the dude he just killed was someone’s son, was after all once an innocent child, like anyone... and again, it doesn’t make him regret it. he looks tired and sort of empty, but not like he’d take any of it back. he’s seen jgy for all that he was, good and bad, and made his decision. his reaction to seeing his hands ever so slightly stained with blood is mostly ‘...eh sure’ (and he knows none of this will ever bring his brother back and I am HURTING) . just. I love him so much what an interesting character 

- lan zhan raised a child who can talk about his feelings, unprecedented & wondrous 

who’s chopping onions in here

- never getting over ah yuan being the best person in the world at roasting his dad 

- okay okay okay I’m going to have some incoherent feelings here -- the expression on nhs’ face right after wwx asks him if he intends to be chief cultivator is just... hm. how do I describe this. it looks almost like he’s thinking ‘oh yeah I forgot you don’t actually know me anymore (yeah okay that’s my bad)’? the previous scene is about lwj and wwx, The symbolic representation of true love in this world, naming each other/knowing each other for exactly who and what they are. that’s the thematic victory in this story; to be truly known, accepted and loved for the entirety of who you are, if only by one person in your whole life. (notably all sorts of love, parental, familial, platonic etc., not just romantic/sexual) and to get his victory, nhs has had to completely forsake that because his whole plan hinged on it; he hasn’t been emotionally honest with anyone for well over a decade at this point. no one really knows or understands him, and if someone ever did he’s long dead now and never coming back. and in this one moment both wwx and nhs seem to come to the quiet understanding that neither of them are who they used to be as kids and it’ll never be like it used to be again, and reach a sort of live-and-let-live truce about it.  d u d e this goddamn story 

(after all part of the reason jgy is so incredibly terrified of nmj is that he’s the first person to see straight through his bullshit to who he is behind it, and that it’s u g l y  back there. jgy + nmj = being known without being accepted or loved (b/c honestly he doesn’t deserve to be loved or accepted yeah there we go I said it), jgy + lxc = being accepted and loved without being known, which turns into disaster all around.)

- man this was actually a really solid adaptation, it was excellently done! they did rush a bit towards the end there (it was never explained why jgy didn’t kill sissi along with all the other sex workers in this version, for example, leaving a rather substantial plot hole, and they never reveal why exactly lan zhan had to take over as sect leader which breaks off lxc’s arc at the end), but all in all that was wonderful and even added some stuff I liked better than in the book! now please god never let mtxt write a sequel, just let them be in this happily ever after, all of them have been through enough ;________;

- also the music was truly epic! I don’t even begrudge them using some parts more often and blatantly than what’s probably necessary, I want to wallow in this love theme as much as the next person lol

- what am I going to do with hours upon hours of my life now? I don’t know either, I suppose I will just have to find some way to hobble on 

[crapitskizaru]

Hello dearie~ I was wondering if you could do an hc where Shanks, Kid, Law and Ace’s female s/o comes out of their room with just a oversized t-shirt and just underwear on and like the whole crew can see? Btw love I your blog gives me smiles everyday seriously you bring happiness to me everyday~ Your blog is amazing and you can tell the effort you put into it. Love you boo~

Portgas D. Ace

very flustered

in fact his reaction could be compressed to one, simple gif, which I’m going to paste the shit out of, right now

it’s not that he’s not used to this type of sight - but the mere realization that the whole crew can now guess how steamy things get in between him and his partner makes Ace want to dig a hole and bury himself in it

naturally, as presented in the gif, he pulls them back into the room and try to get a grasp of the situation (:

Trafalgar the Fucking Law 

quick peek at her figure, faint check-out and proud smirk is all the bastard can muster out of this 

doesn’t really put much thought into it, besides shooting glances and enjoying the great view of her bare legs from time to time, when he thinks no one’s looking 

if she’s content with this outfit, he certainly won’t be the one to complain -although, if she’s only doing it to tease him, then the matters escalate in a different direction, usually when they’re both already in bed, after a long day - Law somehow finds new layers of bastardish energy inside him, just to get back on her for the teasing 

Eustsass Kid 

even if this tulip right here can get turbo possessive sometimes, it won’t stop him from enjoying the hell out of this, especially when the crew tries to desperately avert their eyes from her 

doesn’t matter probably half of them are gay - facing the wrath of their captain who’s immune to all sorts of logical explanations is just not worth the trouble 

it allows the man to stare, touch, grope, caress and pinch all he wants, without any additional layers taking the fun out of it, and he certainly isn’t going to pass on making the point of who’s the alpha male on the ship - even if his partner and the crew find it pathetically infantile after a short while 

Shankyy!

thank you snoop - this is the best gif for Shanks’ reaction I was able to find in the depths of the internet and i love it 

in fact, Shanky’s so used to this sight of her that he barely registers it may be a little bit uncomfortable for the rest of the crew, let alone think it could unlock his possessive side a little

the man doesn’t mind at all, maybe produces some involuntary purrs and grunts of content from time to time, but nothing too crazy 

especially likes having her sit on his lap, when he can rub his hands along her bare thighs - the man loves it, and could even encourage her to start going with this outfit quite more often 

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching Good Omens (ALL OF IT)

my favourite novel is now my favourite mini-series and IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

under the cut: a very long, spoilery six-episode reaction to MY NEW FAVOURITE THING EVER

--

may 31st 07:36pm nz

i posted my episode 1 reaction a couple hours ago but that got ZERO NOTES so i assume people are either avoiding spoilers or aren’t interested, which is fine, but i’m just gonna put all my reactions in one big post so anyone who IS interested doesn’t have to read 6 separate posts c:

edit june 1st 04:08am: btw i watched using a free trial on amazon prime, which i’m pretty sure is worldwide. soooo if yOU WANT TO WATCH THIS, YOU CAN, FOR FREE

--

EPISODE 1: In the Beginning

--

04:03pm

idk how much i’m gonna type, whether i’ll post a reaction to the entire thing in one post....... or how much i’ll end up watching right now

kinda want to spread it out and save it as a treat for after i’ve done some writing

but right now i wanna watch before writing

so maybe i’ll do one ep, write something, then return to this?

edit: aahhaha that didn’t happen

-

04:04pm

I’M SO EXCITED

I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG

well... since 2011 when i first read the book

but regardless it’S BEEN 84 YEARS

-

04:05

okay first off i did not know amazon prime did adverts at the start of their videos. so i was like SINCE WHEN WAS CHILDISH GAMBINO/DONALD GLOVER IN GOOD OMENS

and then

yeah

no

either way i thought it was a good opening

-

W A R

NING

cool cool cool cool cool

-

omg i’m used to where the netflix full-screen button is, and on amazon prime that’s the “next episode” button so i gotta be real careful

-

dear god my video quality is TERRIBLE

i.......... i might torrent this show and watch it offline

this is horrendous i can’t see a damn thing

i have never seen pixels this big

-

04:11

okay the quality calmed down after a minute

i loooove the intro, i love that it’s basically word for word from the book

i feel like i’d find it funnier if i hadn’t read the book 3 months ago

-

also? god is a woman? yes

-

04:13

is it just me or does the snek have a slightly david tennant-esque quality about it

-

i’m so happy adam and eve are black

-

04:17

omfg. aziraphale said “ineffable” and now CRAWLEY’S CHECKING HIM OUT TRYING TO SEE IF HE HAS ANY JUNK

WOW

...or y’know, looking for a flaming sword. SAME FUCKING THING.

-

also i looove how FLUFFY azi is

-

azi: “do hope i didn’t do the wrong thing”

i fucking love them both uhrgughhhuhuhughuhhh

-

04:21

small sob for cuteness

umbella wings

-

04:23

in the opening titles, crowley just stopped a spaceship and aziraphale turned it into fish

i feel like that was a douglas adams reference and i’m on board

-

04:25

the entire time i read the book, up until i saw video promos of this show, i thought “crowley” was said the same way as spn’s “crowley”, as in “crahwlee”

not “crOhwlee”

i definitely like that they’re different though

both probably named after aleister crowley tbh. all of whom are queer.

-

THOSE SWAYING HIPS

i haven’t found david tennant attractive in about 9 years but WHOOOP HELLO AGAIN

somehow attractive for entirely different reasons than before. like. my taste changed but tHEN

-

i’m on crowley’s side, taking down a cellphone network is VERY ANNOYING

-

04:35

crowley: shitshitshitshithsit

:D

i can’t wait for aziraphale’s big swear

-

04:37

i miss eating sushi

sushi was great

-

04:43

this baby delivery thing is sTRESSFUL

“aaaaurthurrrrr”

nooo

poor lady

-

04:45

“little toesie woesies”

where’s the sister mary loquacious fan club and where do i sign up

-

i’m glad they colour-coded the babies and did the playing card explanation because this part of the book always tied my brain in knots

-

05:00

this is reminding me how utterly gross england is

-

“MY POINT IS............. DOLPHINS”

YES

-

05:06

see in the book

i never once realised that the nanny was crowley in disguise

-

05:11

digging the snake tattoo sideburns

-

05:14

and yeah the short hair looks good

-

05:15

fINALLY crowley called azi “angel”

-

05:17

crowley: “oh no no don’t do your magic act, pleeease”

the magic act scene is one of my fave parts of the book <3

-

05:20

aw man they cut out the best part

i mean i get why

the kids shouted a bunch of gay slurs at aziraphale

and there were no secret service people with guns

but aw mannn

AND THEY CUT OUT THE BIT WITH THE DEAD DOVE AND CROWLEY BRINGS IT BACK TO LIFE FOR AZIRAPHALE

THAT WAS MY SINGLE FAVOURITE BIT OF THE BOOK

AND IT’S GONE

;C

-

OH WAIT

THERE’S THE DOVE

OH GOOD

-

aw man aziraphhale just brought it back himself

i liked it better in the book

they sat on the steps outside and crowley comforted azi and took the dove and fixed it for him, and then it flew off

idk i just had such a perfect image of that moment in my mind and this was..... good but not the same at all

could be gayer

-

05:27

good dog

-

05:28

crowley: *snifsnif* something’s changed

aziraphale: “oh it’s a new cologne, my barber suggeste--”

crowley: “no no i know what you smell like”

gayyyyyyyyyy <3

-

05:31

okay that’s ep 1 watched!!! i’ll watch more maybe later tonight :D

ENJOYING THIS SO FAR

not as gay as expected ........YET

needs 400% more “angel” and “dear”

--

EPISODE 2: The Book

07:42pm

pillar of salt guy: “something smells evil”

the fact crowley smells evil and yet aziraphale likes his company regardless says a lot

-

07:49

fully expected crowley to say “i didn’t fall, i sauntered vaguely downwards”

-

07:50

iiiii’m finding the narrator a little annoying

maybe it’s because i read the book so i know what’s going on

but saying “he has four items to deliver in his van. he works for this postage company and he’s making his first delivery in a formal warzone”.... idk i feel like all of those things could be shown visually? saying it rather than showing it probably saved seven seconds of airtime, but damn

-

07:56

i wonder if the narrator was a later addition to this, for new audience clarity? the script for god just seems a little stilted, idk

edit: i kind of got used to it, but it was still jarring, which i’m sure was the opposite of the intended effect

-

08:09

the saddest newt

-

08:13

she’s kind of exactly how i imagined her in the book

and definitely my fave next to aziraphale and crowley

-

08:17

i feel so bad for crowley’s plants

poor babies

-

08:19

for some reason i imagined her as a redhead. kind of more like mrs weasley

-

08:33

these wee children......... so soft.......... so smol

-

08:25

v happy with the casting for pepper

tiny downside is that we lose another redhead

-

08:29

i find the kids’ conversations hilarious because they’re the same age as harry potter when he goes to hogwarts the first time

idk if this is what eleven year olds are like in real life, but when i read the book i did feel distinctly like they spoke like eight year olds

-

08:35

crowley: “i like spooky. big spooky fan, me”

he just sounds like the tenth doctor

-

08:36

YEEE FINALLY CROWLeY DOING NICE THINGS FOR AZIRAPHALE

-

08:48

"you know, crowley, i’ve always said that deep down you really are a--”

“SHUT IT”

DON’T YOU CALL HIM NICE YOU PRETTY BASTARD

-

loquacious: “sorry to break up an intimate moment”

-

08:45

i imagined anathema’s tripod thing to be about 5 feet tall, not a cute little knee-high thing

-

08:48

freddie mercury: BIIIII CYCLE

BIIIIIIII CYCLE

yeah i was waiting for that

-

crowley: “get in, angel”

HE MURMURED

DON’T MURMUR YOUR TERMS OF ENDEARMENT noo

-

09:00

end of episode 2!!! i freaking loved aziraphale vs the book <3

-

the credits for this ep credit konnie huq as someone named pam but idk who that is? i had a crush on konnie huq as a kid when she was a presenter on “blue peter”

OH WAIT RIGHT the lady on the breakfast show on crowley’s tv. aw such a small part. hoping we’ll see her again later

edit: nope. might rewatch that part to pay more attention. obviously i didn’t even recognise her after like.. 15 years

--

EPISODE 3: Hard Times

09:05pm

brb gotta get some food

-

09:14

and now i wait for food

EPISODE THREE LET’S GO

is this the one that’s just crowley and azi’s backstory?

-

09:16

i can’t even put my finger on why but he’s getting more attractive

-

09:21

ah yes

aziraphale is eating shellfish and trying to tempt crowley

“oh... that’s your job”

i love this part of their dynamic

-

09:29

i adore when crowley makes aziraphale smile <3

-

09:43

SAUNTERED VAGUELY DOWNWARDS

YEE

-

i like seeing how crowley’s sunglasses differ throughout history

-

09:36

“if they knew i’d been... fraternising”

this is such a forbidden romance i love ittttt

-

09:49

CROWLEY SAVED THE BOOKS

and SOFT VIOLIN PLAYS

THIS IS A FUCKING LOVE STORY

k this is my favourite part of the show so far <3

-

09:50

this angel just fell in love

right in that moment

i see cartoon hearts around him

-

09:54

just had to pause for a second bc there was some broccoli in my tea :c

-

09:56

awwwwwwwwwwwwww 

he got him holy waterrrrrrr

-

UNIVERSAL ANGLE OF HETEROSEXUAL LONGING

-

definitely feeling a lot of “NOW KISS” right about now

-

09:59

LAUGHING BECAUSE THE OPENING CREDITS ARE LITERALLY HALFWAY INTO THE EPISODE

-

10:03

throughout the entire book azi just came across as the kind of person who wore glasses even though glasses were never once mentioned

I AM GLAD TO SEE GLASSES

-

10:12

i like this colour palette and the gold in their makeup

-

10:27

“we can go off together”

omg the world’s ending and crowley’s all RUN AWAY WITH MEEE

-

10:31

okay then

good eyelashes

edit: i also like how their relationship was explained with a simple tap on the wrist: hurry up, you’re on the clock, i’m a sex worker, finish your call because i’m leaving

-

10:32

episode three DONE

these eps don’t feel long enough

maybe that means the pacing is just right? who knows

i feel like i should be doing something other than watching this but..... why

--

EPISODE 4: Saturday Morning Funtime

10:48pm

aziraphale is SOFT and he’s perfect like that <3

fuck u gabriel and your body shaming

-

10:53

i want delivery guy to be okay BUT I READ THE BOOK

so............... i know he will be...... eventually

-

10:55

how did they get photographs taken in the 1600s

-

oh gabriel’s eyes ARE purple, i thought i was seeing them wrong

-

11:02

“maud i love you”

noo ho hoooo

-

11:09

a little douglas adams, definitely

BUT NO PEPPER POT DALEK

AWW

-

11:10

the season is very much jumping between summer and autumn

though i suppose that’s the point, tadfield is just perfect

-

11:12

“which the internet has begun to refer to as the kracken”

i wonder if good omens inadvertently inspired me to write The Wireless a couple of years back. wouldn’t be surprising

edit: no, couldn’t have, because the internet wasn’t much of a thing (or a thing at all?) in the book, given its publish date

-

11:20

that’s a v nice dress/top combo

gosh she’s so pretty

-

11:30

crowley: “we can run away together!!! alpha centauri!!!”

aw baby

-

crowley: “i’m going home, angel! i’m getting my stuff, and i am leaving. and when i am up in the stars, i won’t even think about you!!”

THAT WAS A V SAD BREAKUP NOOOOO

why has there not been a single “dear” yet :c

-

11:37

oh no, this part

i loved this in the book but i am NOT READY for maggots

damn you gaiman

-

11:39

he’s so cute

and so gay

-

11:42

uriel: “don’t think your boyfriend in the dark glasses will get you special treatment in hell”

he looks kinda delighted uriel called crowley his boyfriend

i would say he looks worried but this shot was used without context in the trailer and it came across as genuine joy, i actually thought he was looking at crowley

-

11:46

i thought it was a strange throne before

a spider at the centre of a web

dark halo

yeah

-

11:51

oh now she’s a redhead???

-

also i’m glad they implied newt and anathema just kissed because the sex thing was weird in the book

-

okay never mind

hmm

-

12:05

aziraphale: “oh.................ffffUCK.”

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

-

12:07

oh no

it’s happening

oh no

i hate this part but i love what happens because of it

-

12:29am

i have eaten and now i have tea and i am back from MORE BOOKSHOP FIRE

-

EPISODE 5: The Doomsday Option

12:31

nuuuuuuuuuu

and “you’re my best friend” playing while crowley’s tryna call azi

nuuuuuu

-

“somebody killed my best friend”

jfhsdfjsdj

/sobs

-

12:36

freddie mercury: “somebody find me somebody tooo ooo looove”

edit: the narration WRECKED this. it was so dramatic and visually emotional but the voiceover completely screwed with it and it was SO UNNECESSARY.

-

12:46

crowley: “i lost my best friend”

he says, while crying, while talking to that friend

-

THE ONE BOOK HE WANTS IS THE ONE CROWLEY SAVED

THEY’RE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER

-

azi wanted to share crowley’s body

and then said they had to get a wiggle on

-

12:52

they cut out the hell’s angels / lesser horsemen

i figured they would, but still a shame

-

1:54

in the book tracy’s “spirit guide” was native american but daaaaaamn that part really needed to go

now she’s irish which is... better, probably

-

01:01

ron: “SHUT. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP”

this guy’s having the time of his life

-

01:03

he wave

-

01:05

1926 bentley; sexiest car right next to the ‘67 chevy impala

-

01:08

omg gotta translate and explain the road

-

01:13

OH NO the maggots are about to happen

they changed the placement of this but it worked for the pacing

-

OH NO

-

k well the maggots were gross but not as bad as i imagined

-

01:31

omg the dog turned upside down rather than be picked up

i wonder if that was intentional

dog: I DO NOT WANT UP

-

01:34

pfff he’s reading “american gods” by neil gaiman

-

01:44am

10/10 flaming car

-

EPISODE 6: The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives

01:51am

here we go...

-

01:55

azi so happy that crowley said the dress suits him <3

-

01:57

rip bentley

-

01:59

aziraphale: “we are here to lick some serious butt!!”

crowley: “kick!! kick, aziraphale, for heaven’s sake”

-

02:06

i freaking love the parallel between the Them and the horsemen in the book

and i love that they did face shots to show the parallel

pepper = war

wensleydale = famine

brian = pollution

adam = death

the parallel is less clear for brian and wensleydale, at least in the show. was more obvious in the book. but at the same time i kind of got confused between them a lot, brian was always eating, but wensleydale was named after cheese

-

02:14

pepper: “i do not endorse everyday sexism”

/STOMPS ON WAR’S FOOT

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

-

02:25

shadwell: “anyone who wants ta get ta the hoore of babylon will have to get past me”

earlier anathema said “boyfriend”

may i point out that all the adults are paired up

shadwell & madame tracy

newt & anathema

......and....

aziraphale and crowley

-

0:28

crowley: “we are FUCKED”

these two need a holiday

-

azi: “come up with something... or.... or i’ll never talk to you again”

he knows crowley loves him aww

perfect blackmail material

-

02:32

they went from trying to kill him to being his gay angel parents real quick

-

02:35

thought they were holding hands for a second there

edit: regardless, a whole damn airfield and they’re 2cm apart

-

02:39

happy ending for the postman, hooray~

-

crowley about the bookshop, softly: “it burned down. remember? you can stay at my place”

awwWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

-

02:42

CROWLEY GOT HIS CAR BACK AND YET HE TOOK A TAXI

-

02:45

anathema: “why is your car called dick turpin?”

newt: “dick turpin is a famous highwayman. it’s called dick turpin because everywhere it goes, it holds up traffic”

i laughed

this wasn’t in the book and i always wondered

-

02:51

i wonder if holy water wouldn’t burn him because he’s too good

-

03:00

gabriel: “don’t talk to me about the greater good, sunshine, i’m the angel fucking gabriel”

really enjoying these swears

-

03:03

i thought so

-

03:30am

paused for a bit to get ready for bed

i thought it was after 4am but nope

-

“there would be other summers, but not one like this. not ever again”

that genuinely makes me emotional

i think that’s why it’s my favourite book, i can relive that summer with them

-

03:35

omg

-

OH MY GOD

WAIT

THEY

OH MY GOD

THEY WEREN’T IMMUNE, THEY JUST SWAPPED PLACES

HOLY SHIT

edit: THIS WAS NOT IN THE BOOK AND IT’S BRILLIANT AND I’M GLAD IT’S HERE

-

crowley: “let me tempt you to a spot of lunch?

azi: “~temptation accomplished~!”

THEY’RE SO STINKING CUTE

-

“just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing”

perfect

STILL NO USE OF “DEAR” THOUGH AND IT’S KILLING ME

-

that ending with the bird made me teary-eyed

-

credits: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH AS SATAN

WOW

OKAY

AKSFJDSF /snorts

-

the end credits and the song i just wanna bawl my eyes out

i loved this so much and i’m so glad it was GOOD

i loved that they added so many people of colour. in the book i imagined crowley played by alexander siddig (star trek: deep space 9 era) but i guess david tennant makes a pretty good crowley too

i’m trying not to be upset that my favourite scene with the dove and aziraphale’s affectionate use of “dear” was taken out

but 

this was damn good regardless. even gayer in places than in the book

-

this nightingale song is my new favourite song

i never got the reference before

“and as we kissed and said goodnight, an nightingale sang in berkeley square:

GAY

SO GAY

i love

-

the end of the credits “For Terry”

ACTUAL OUT LOUD SOBBING

TERRY YOU WOULD’VE LOVED THIS

NEIL DID YOU PROUD

-

oh this was so beautiful

i’m gonna watch it again with my family probably within the week. i’m so emotionally tender now

azIRAPHALE WAS SO FLUFFY AND CROWLEY WAS SO NICE ABOUT THE BOOKS

ugh i love them more than ever

anathema...... i don’t know if i relate to her, want to be her, look up to her, want her to mentor me, live with her, or find her attractive. maybe all of the above. but she was freaking PERFECT. PE R F E CT 

the casting was so... just right. thank you casting people for anathema.

like... i also didn’t mind the newt/anathema thing so much now. it was hard to tell in the book how much of a relationship they had after, but that smile she gave while lying in bed the morning after, that worked, it said a lot. and i like that it was her choice to burn the prophecy sequel rather than newt’s suggestion

gabriel was amusing. like.. i’m glad he wasn’t in the book. but he was great here. also really like michael and uriel. uriel was so damn beautiful.

i also would really have liked to see a mention of the fact crowley and aziraphale are both agender and potentially asexual. not even a hint of it here. buuuuuut it guess i know from the book. so.

my favourite episode was of course episode 3 with crowley and aziraphale’s 6000 year backstory. especially the 1940s bit where crowley saved the books <3

this show was was less confusing than the book too. ugh it was done so well

OH

we didn’t see where the soldier guy went when aziraphale zapped him away!!! in the book he reappeared safely back home and went out to see his family. to be fair i don’t know whether he died and went to heaven, but it was a nice thing to happen

and they took out the Them’s bully/rival gang, who was led by the third baby from the baby swap, and who won awards for his tropical fish. at least that’s what i remember. which meant the parallel about heaven/hell being rival gangs was lost here. but the parallel between the horsemen and the them was stronger than ever and i loved that.

look, i mean, 10 out of 10, EASY.

favourite thing? yes. yes, absolutely.

--

shoutout to the one time i wrote a Good Omens/Destiel crossover fic The Angel Cake Challenge

IT’S 04:02am THIS TOOK ME 12 HOURS

04:40am AND FORTY MINUTES TO EDIT

congrats if you made it to the end of this!!! thank you for reading <3 AND GO WATCH THE SHOW IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY

[lol-misantlery]

Yuletide 2019

Hello! I am misantlery on ao3.

Under the read more are specific details about what I want for Derry Girls, Mad Men, Queen’s Thief, Into the Spiderverse, Fleabag, and The Eagle.

General Likes

PINING, awkwardness, people being inexplicably fond of each other, breaking up/making up fic, people being emotionally repressed, denial, FORCED INTIMACY (pretending to be dating, bed sharing, huddling for warmth, trapped in elevator/closet/room together), amnesia fic, first times, hurt/comfort, trust issues, hooker aus, robot aus, happily ever afters.

I am good with g-rated or nc-17 rated fic, but if you’re comfortable writing porn here are some things I am into:

bad decision sex sexual experimentation fun/goofy/‘bad’ sex sex pollen intimacy issues

General Dislikes

rape/non con, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, mundane aus, soulmate marks aus, 24/7 BDSM, non canonical major character death, harm to animals, unhappy endings, mpreg, issuefic, harm to children.

If you want to know some more about what i’m into for each fandom/want some prompts, then keep reading but don’t stress about following each prompt to the letter or anything. They’re here for inspiration!

Why are you so into The Purge as a scenario???

Listen, this took me by surprise too. Explaining it now makes me sound like a crazy person. But I will try.

The Purge is a horror movie franchise, set in a dystopian near-future America where all crime is legal for one day a year, including murder. Pretty dark, edgy, violent stuff! I am not especially interested in the dark and grim sociopolitical realities of this situation, in case my prompts don’t make that clear. I am here for the absurdity, and in the case of most of these fandoms, for the weird and hilarious contrast between my requested fandom and the over the top violence of The Purge. You don’t even need to watch any of The Purge movies, because let’s be real, I don’t care about the world building or logistics here, and I’m not interested in a true crossover so much as I am in borrowing the “all crime is legal for a day” scenario. If any of the Purge prompts speak to you, read some wiki summaries and have at it.

Don’t feel obligated to write those prompts if these aren’t scenarios that appeal to you! And if you do write them, please, don’t make them super dark. Again, the appeal here is the absurdity, not the grim violence of it all.

Derry Girls: Erin Quinn, Clare Devlin, Michelle Mallon, James Maguire

Let me start off by saying you don’t need to include all four in a fic if you don’t want to! I’m perfectly happy with any configuration you end up putting together. If you want to include all the gang, that’s great too! I love everybody nominated so feel free to go wherever your imagination takes you.

I love how the group will spend all day making fun of each other but always come together when it counts. I would definitely enjoy you keeping with the show and doing something with that. Everyone going up on stage to perform with Orla and James realizing that he belongs as a Derry Girl are two of my favorite scenes.

Prompts:

Erin/Clare: I would love a fic where Erin and Clare really do go to prom together instead of the whole thing with Mae and John Paul. Maybe they go for real, or maybe Erin goes as her fake date to support her and then they have to continue the charade after prom. Erin would definitely do a lot of research and throw herself fully into being the best lesbian she could be, which obviously would include practicing kissing Clare a whole lot. I love a good fake dating fic that has the couple accidentally catching feelings. I also love the idea of everyone thinking she’s just making a statement and her dad being the only one to realize her feelings are for real.

I also love the idea of them bonding over a crush on Ms. De Brun, either after the first time or having her roll back into town and Erin going full Dean Pelton “This better not awaken anything in me.”

Michelle/James: I’m very into their combative but loving relationship. Michelle asking him to stay in the finale *__* I’m also very much into introducing a cousinfucking aspect but if you aren’t, don’t worry. I also enjoy how they are in the show, so if you keep their relationship at that level I’ll still be perfectly happy. If you are into it, Michelle totally gives off a “stop making love to me while I’m trying to fuck you” vibe and I would really enjoy seeing how annoyed she would be to realize he was more than just a ride to her.

Michelle gets caught in a time loop and has to figure out how to escape it. Maybe she lets James leave Derry all those other times and the version we see is the one she got right. Or maybe James and Michelle both get caught up in a loop and try increasingly ridiculous schemes to get out of it.

Or maybe Michelle’s mom gave up James’ room when she thought he was leaving with his mom and now James and Michelle have to share a room. They have to deal with all the feelings the finale brought up.

If you are more inspired by one of the other configurations please go for it. I loved James being instantly on Clare’s side when she came out. Finding out how Michelle and/or Erin and/or Clare’s friendship started would be fun. I liked James coming through for Erin when she got stood up. If you are more inspired by James and Erin please keep it platonic. I like them just as friends. I’m definitely open to James, Michelle, and Erin being queer/bi/etc if you’re interested in including that in any of these prompts.

Something based on this post: https://v1als.tumblr.com/post/187672633662/meanwhile-in-the-other-derry . If this appeals to you please go as wild as you want. Fic about the Derry Girls bullying a clown to death? Awesome! Fic about Mary Quinn beating the shit out of a dumb clown with a frying pan or Sister Michael being incredibly unimpressed by It? Love it. If you want to go to an angsty place I’m into it but I would prefer it doesn’t end with anybody perma-dead. I'd be equally happy with ships or no ships for this. No need to bring in the rest of the It characters unless you feel like it.

Mad Men: Bob Benson, Pete Campbell

This is probably my forever yuletide fandom! The show’s been over for a while now, but I still have an enormous soft spot for the love story of Bob and Pete, and would read any number of variations on it.

I don’t mind if you ignore certain parts of canon (s7) or go canon divergent, you can also follow canon if want (Bob shows up in Wichita??) GO WILD.

Shipping Bob/Pete began as a joke for me, but I do ship it for real. I like that Bob is all *_________* about Pete and Pete is simultaneously disgusted and intrigued. He might not be gay, but he’s definitely into someone who’s into him.

Also, if you just want to write about Bob I’d be really interested in his past and what the whole “manservant” deal was. We pretty much know nothing about him and I’d be interested in some backstory, but I’m not exactly looking for Bob/OMC PWP. In case it seemed that way!

btw, https://vimeo.com/132033248 is a supercut of all Bob/Pete scenes (pw: kneetouching). Enjoy!

Prompts:

Fake dating: The CEO of a big company is secretly gay and Pete thinks pretending to be gay will form a bond of solidarity that will give him an edge, but the CEO mistakes this for interest and Pete scrambles to come up with an excuse to get out of doing anything gay and he comes up with, “I have a lover! You may have met him…”

They go to a gay bar lolz and awkwardness ensue.

Pete molds Bob into the Perfect Ad Man and falls for him in the process. Basically “My Fair Lady” with a hillbilly and sodomy.

Groundhog day fic: Pete has to go through the same day again and again, tries to get help from Ken, Peggy, etc, and then comes to the realization that only Bob believes him.

Bob is a conman who starts out trying to seduce Pete as part of a long con, but ends up falling in love.

what if Bob is a spy who mistakes Pete for his contact because Pete compliments his tie? what kind of spy and mistaken identity shenanigans could ensue?

What if Bob and Pete + the Purge??? I feel like Bob would do well. He’s got secrets. Maybe one of those secrets is a facility with weaponry. Also, sodomy wasn’t legal in New York until the 1980s. What if someone in the office awkwardly asks Bob what he’s going to do during the Purge and Pete is appalled, because how uncouth! Everyone knows you don’t ask people what they’re going to do during the Purge! And then Bob makes some veiled comment about how he always spends his Purges banging dudes, and Pete is horribly Intrigued because sex stuff is never a Purge thing he’d thought of.

Queen’s Thief - Megan Whalen Turner: Gen, Attolia

I love these books, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I love Attolia, Gen, and their relationship best. I didn't see the twist where Gen confessed his love to Attolia coming at all the first time I read it and I frantically read to the end to make sure that everything turned out ok. As soon as I got there, I flipped to the front and started again. Somewhere between that moment and when I reached that scene on the stairs again, they became one of my all time OTPs. To be honest, it was probably when she cut off his hand.

I just love them so much, with how ruthless Attolia is and how clever Gen is, and all I want is a fic that focuses on them and their sort of messed up dynamic and that will be enough. I also love Kamet/Costis and would be happy to see something about them in addition to some Gen/Attolia content. I'm open to canon divergent AUs, but, please, no AUs where Attolia doesn't cut off his hand.

Prompts:

Part of what I love so much about this pairing is how terrifyingly competent they are together, and what a good team they make. So I’d love a fic about something like, what if some of their barons are stupid enough to think that Gen and Attolia can be turned on each other? Obviously Gen and Attolia have to go crush them together.

They have to go on some kind of diplomatic visit to Eddis or Sounis or maybe something further afield and absolutely nothing goes as planned. Again, show me how terrifyingly competent they are! Or just go for the lolz: how hilariously wrong can things go, and how do Gen and Attolia deal with it? You can also go the action/adventure route: do they have to get themselves out of a sticky situation by fighting or sneaking around?

Speaking of sneaking around: I’m also into the many possibilities of the scenario where Gen teaches Attolia how to sneak into his bedroom for once. Sexy, funny, emotional, all of the above, I’m into any of it!

Part of the messed up dynamic that I love with these two is how fear and love and guilt are all mixed up together for them, after Attolia cuts off her hand. So I’d be really interested in anything about how/if Gen gets over his fear of Attolia in bed or not, but maybe definitely at least in part through sex.

And because I’ve got a soft spot for Costis and Kamet: Gen and Attolia attend Costis and Kamet's wedding, in disguise or not. Maybe it makes them think of their own wedding! Maybe everyone just reflects sappily on True Love! Or maybe someone gets up to shenanigans!  It’s up to you, dear writer!

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse: May Parker, Olivia Octavius

"My friends call me Liv," Doc Ock says to Miles. And then when she walks into Aunt May's house, May says, "Oh great, it's Liv." I would really love to read a lot more about what's going on with that. Sex is not a must, but I do ship them and anything about a romantic relationship would be great. If you're not into that, then I'd love to read more exploring their dynamic in general -- May is so fondly exasperated and not remotely surprised, but they both immediately go to the mat.

Prompts:

Pre-movie college backstory. Were they rivals-turned-lovers in college? Friendly but disinterested roommates who spent all their time playing science cloak-and-dagger games before realizing over spring break that their nemesis was their roommate? 

Pre-movie Spidey parallels backstory. May was clearly supporting Peter as he developed into your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and Octavia has been... what? We know she's CEO of Alchemax during the movie -- was she promoted? Is she the founder? I'd love something exploring their parallel paths, May as a behind-the-scenes string-puller and Liv as a mad scientist, with Peter in the middle working to counter Liv more explicitly. 

Post-movie, MIles goes to visit Aunt May and finds Liv there. They have a really awkward tea. 

Post-movie, Liv tries to make a comeback. May rolls her eyes and gets to work.

Purge!AU: What happens to the two of them on Purge night? Does May reluctantly go out to try to stop whatever Liv is up to this time? Do they end up working together for some reason? Do they declare it amateur night and just order a pizza?

Also, I would be interested in a fun fic where May and Liv both end up sort of awkwardly mentoring Miles because Miles and Liv end up in a classic supervillian-superhero team-up against some other big villain or disaster.

Fleabag: Fleabag, Priest

So I watched all of Fleabag in a weekend fueled by pizza and beer and loved all of it. But, not gonna lie, what really got me to sit down and finally watch the show was all this talk of a hot priest romance going on in season 2. Others may never believe Moriarty from BBC Sherlock could bring it like that, but I saw the light.

I’m absolutely fine with shippy fic for this fandom. If you want to go down the hardcore priest fucking road then go wild, but I did love everything about the show. Fleabag herself and all of her issues, Claire (and her haircut) and everyone else. Whatever you can write for me that captures how heartbreaking and funny the show is would be great, I'm sure.

Prompts:

With all this talk of the cool Pope maybe considering letting priests marry let’s pretend that the Vatican really does that and now priests everywhere can get married. How would Fleabag feel when she sees the news on the telly? How would the Priest? Imagine them bumping into each other after the news come out.

I think one of the most interesting things about season 2 was the Priest knowing when Fleabag was breaking the fourth wall. What if the fox is his personal fourth wall that no one sees but Fleabag that he can’t leave behind until he deals with his shit? 

Purge prompt: Brexit finally happens and the new PM decides to try this Purge thing the Americans have been doing every year. How would Fleabag fare in the purge? Would she stay locked inside with her family having to fight off Stepmother, who’s down to do some purging herself and is scarily good at killing people? Would she go off to hunt Martin? Maybe fucking a Priest doesn’t count if it’s during purge night.

The Eagle | Eagle of the Ninth: Marcus Flavius Aquila, Esca Mac Cunoval

I love this stupid movie so much.I love Marcus, Esca, and Marcus/Esca and would prefer them shipped. UST/pre-slash is okay, too, if you'd rather not write a romance, but please at least leave me the hope that it's going to happen!

What I really love about Marcus/Esca is how even when Marcus is the one who holds official power over Esca as his owner, Esca is always the one with the power in their relationship because Marcus is so desperately into him. I love Marcus pining for Esca but being too honourable to do anything about it, while Esca is too angry at himself for pining for Marcus to do anything about it. I also enjoy Marcus having Roman issues about wanting Esca to fuck him and I don't care if they're not entirely historically accurate. I would just be very into Marcus having very rigid ideas about sex between men and struggling with wanting Esca to fuck him and Esca helping him overcome that.

Some general things about them that I love, both in the movie and in potential fic: cultural miscommunications, or just them worrying enough about miscommunication that they don't even try. Marcus having such utter blind trust in Esca. Esca having to relearn how to let somebody care about him.

Prompts:

That said, my first request is PWP. /o\ I would really, really love a Seal People Made Them Do It fic. Maybe the Seal Prince wants Esca to prove Marcus is his slave, or maybe there's a general boning festival going on and it'd be weird/suspicious for Esca not to participate, I don't know (and not too concerned with historical accuracy on this one). But I'm very into the danger element of they have to fake it for their safety/survival and the intimacy element of them understanding each other with few or no words. Like from Esca's POV, he gets that Marcus understands and consents, or from Marcus', understanding that if he doesn't want to go along with it, they can try to kill their way out. And, okay, if Marcus is a little ashamed of being into it, I am very, very there for that. :9

I would also love a roadtrip fic! The movie clearly ends with Marcus setting Esca up to choose their next adventure, so what does he choose? I don't have a lot of specific plot ideas for that, but I would definitely love to see them on another journey together, maybe hitting all the fun roadtrip tropes, like huddling for warmth in the woods and there being only one bed in their room at the hospitia. 

Or, if you're feeling up to something fun and weird, a Purge AU. Honestly, Ancient Rome is a setting that seems oddly suited to hosting the Purge and I would love to see it either played relatively straight to dark and dramatic effect, or humorously deconstructed, with Esca exasperated by more let's-kill-people Roman nonsense.

I would also really be into fic from Esca's POV, holding Marcus during the surgery and contemplating letting twitch and die, and then ~looking into his eyes~ and feeling sick with himself for having such a thought about the man who saved his life, even if he is a Roman asshole. Perhaps followed by all the times Esca could have had him killed or let him die and deciding not to because HONOR until he realizes no, actually, I just really, really want to bone this dude. And then he follows up on that realization, in whatever romantic form that takes.

[marauders70s]

So I just watched Crimes of Grindelwald and I have a huge rant list.

Spoilers (obviously). 

Also, I did not like hardly any of it, so I’m sorry. Don’t pick a fight with me after reading a post entitled rant list and then be upset that they are all rants.

- wow AMERICA yeah jo we know what you think of us. it’s obvious in our de-tonguing geneva-convention violating (i know it’s not around in 1927 okay) inhumane treatment of not just grindelwald but apparently all the prisoners and animals we keep in cages (i know our prison system is inherently terrible i’m very aware) but to transport him like a paralyzed stroke victim drooling to a thestral carriage on a Dark And Stormy Night really just is lazy writing on why we should dislike aurors without giving anyone a plot, dialogue, or exposition

- this guy who has been posing as Grindelwald....since the beginning? since when? they cut out his tongue?? but then? it’s just forked? there’s magic? like? could they grow the tongue back?? they can regrow bones in harry’s arm but okay

- this thestral carriage chase scene is really CGI explosion heavy turned actioned film and mostly consisted of me being like what. what. WHAT. wait what. wait who is that. what. why wouldn’t he just disapparate. what happens to these thestrals. okay. what. grindelwald can just dissolve wands since when can people do that why didn’t voldemort do that why didn’t harry do that this presents problems

- okay look david yates and co. you had this incredible opportunity to create an entire wardrobe of WIZARD FASHION in THREE COUNTRIES, most notably the fashion capitol of the world and what did you do you put every single person in trench coats and random muggle garb. Also, not even cool wizard hats. No. Just muggle bowlers and mobster hats.

- Does Newt have a job. If so, what is it? How can he pay for this lovely house with magical modifications? Don’t you have to get a contractor to put that in? Did he do it himself? How does he pay Sad Girl In Love With Protagonist tm? Does he pay her? How did they meet? Why do we never see her again?

- For a movie entitled ‘Fantastic Beasts’ we really gloss over looking at any of the in-house beasts, learning anything about them, or doing anything except a CGI palooza.

- Wow Queenie and Jacob are here ‘hope you don’t mind we let ourselves in’ ah yes rude american trope again. who on earth would do that. also this entire time jacob acts like a goon and newt is like let’s take the enchantment off and i’m like hi that’s hella nonconsensual you’re basically raping and kidnapping him and jacob is somehow okay with this. newt is somehow okay with this. 

- ‘please don’t read my mind’ um dude you’re talking AT her??? 

- movie glosses over how jacob got his memories back with a throwaway line of unbelievable dialogue. If obliviate only worked on bad memories, Hermione Granger really needs to go to family counseling with her parents. 

- mysterious postcard is exposition over really dumb journalism error that could have been easily fixed within seconds by sending an owl because owls don’t need addresses, something queenie conveniently forgets by not knowing how to find her sister

- queenie is a Dumb American for cheap laughs by letting a woman say something in french, laughing, and saying she doesn’t understand anything only for the droll French woman to repeat it in the exact monosyllabic voice. Apparently everyone entering/leaving a country needs to register a visa or something, which is conveniently circumvented by going through a muggle port? It’s unclear. Queenie herself does not seem to have registered.

- French Ministry of Magic is gorgeous. Has a cool roots to iron elevator. It is also probably improperly named as they put ‘American Ministry of Magic’ despite America not having ministries or ministers outside of some serious religious stuff. They put all this effort into creating MACUSA but didn’t use it.

- Is it just me or does the MoM change the interior every time I see it.

- Queenie is devastated she can’t find her sister in a city of millions despite having magic, a means of communication that is foolproof, and enough money to find a hotel and wait to meet up. Queenie is overwhelmed that other people think in their native language. Instead of finding this helpful for tuning out a crowded city (like she does on the daily in New York), she somehow finds it overwhelming even looking for Newt/Jacob. 

- Random woman is Silence In Queenie’s Head. I literally never learned who she was except Hard Bitch Kills Toddler. Or why Queenie can’t hear her thoughts. (Plot twist she’s Bella Swan).

- Toddler didn’t get his own little casket in the French mourning cart. Nice of Grindelwald to give a supposedly muggle family a funeral cart when he could have transfigured their bodies into armchairs or something. (Muggle supposed after he makes the remark about a ‘thorough cleaning.’)

- No one in Paris uses French in spellcasting. Spells are still English-based. 

- Dumbledore is a dramatic bitch for gloves and rooftops. It’s a very specific brand of Gay. 

- Don’t kill me but I don’t...hate? Jude Law as Dumbledore. He was still kind. But he wasn’t auburn and that was dumb. 

- Unclear why Jacob and Queenie have to live in shame and secret when they could move to another country especially when Jacob loves bread and would like Paris. This seems to be Queenie’s motivator which is thin as hell and I didn’t follow her ‘logic’ at all. LAZY WRITING.

- Queenie immediately doesn’t disapparate upon seeing Grindelwald. Queenie somehow gets into this rhetoric. Later Queenie does not get disgusted with apropos wizard-Hitler being like ‘they are lesser beings’ and she, who wants to marry one, is like ‘yeah they totally are because I’m basically Jacob’s mom.’ 

- Grindelwald, in addition to being played by Johnny Depp, is albino, has one mutilated eye with a bad color contact clearly visible in multiple scenes, and is British when it is specifically stated he went to Durmstrang and was expelled for Dark Magic (at Durmstrang, which is noted for its Dark Arts program). As an allusion to wizard-Hitler, I always inferred that Grindelwald was German or Austrian. 

- Wow Paris street magic carnival gave me LIFE and WOW and MAGIC feels. I loved the ducking through the barrier. 

- Weird freakshow circus gets blown apart but Newt only manages to catch one creature that is helpfully foreshadowed it can leap Paris in a single bound. It is a Chinese creature when no mention of Chinese magic, Chinese handlers, or any sort of Asian magic is referred to (except in the cringe-worthy case of the ‘South Asian blood curse of Nagini’ which is a whole other can of worms). In all likelihood, as China is one of the oldest civilizations, their magic and dragon worship would be more paramount. China cat’s serious Great Beast’s weakness is a cat toy. 

- Why is Nicholas Flamel....like that. Sure he’s like 600 years old but (a) is Jacob literally breaking his hand what the hell, (b) as much money and life as you could want does that mean he has to be like 100 years old forever that sucks that’s not even worth being immortal. (c) Where’s his wife. (d) When he goes to battle I thought he’d drink some elixir and be young again but...no.

- Nagini has no purpose in this movie other than to be snake slave and love interest and run around in a circus outfit with tits out bra off. She did not do a single useful thing.

- Wait I’m sorry WHAT you can like...fuck house elves now?? There are half-elves? How....you know what no thanks I don’t want to know.

- Credence, despite the last movie setting up an obscurial as like a suicide bomb, can relatively control mega destruction now and get back into his body fairly easily. No one even wonders why this lacemakers roof apartment exploded.

- Are he and Nagini in love? Are they escaped carnival freak bros? Why isn’t Nagini heading for the hills? She literally has no personality of her own at all.

- Paris is suspiciously white in this film. Especially for the 20s art renaissance. 

- I don’t know why Credence falls into Orphan Must Know Parentage Trope because it’s really overused and boring. And frankly the superfluity of ravens was really beating me over the head. Credence can like...do anything. He could get some money and go to a wand shop. He could just...disappear. I don’t know why he has to be so easy to track.

- By the way who is this weirdo tracking him for Grindelwald/the ministry. It’s very unclear. I never got his name. It’s probably one of the many death eater names they throw in to make sure you know these families great-grandparents are also running around being evil instead of, you know, regular people doing it. So he could be Travers. I guess. LAZY WRITING. 

= Now is a special segment on Hogwarts = 

- The layout of Hogwarts changes every time I see it. Why are the classrooms always different. Why would the wood still have carvings. Why is there a bridge over this lake which is different than the covered bridge leading towards the Forest that Harry and Lupin have a Serious Chat on. 

- YOU CANNOT APPARATE IN HOGWARTS GROUNDS. And don’t you try to tell me Dumbledore instituted that because it’s directly stated in Bathilda Bagshot’s Hogwarts, A History as being a longstanding charm with muggle repelling. 

- Everyone apparates onto the bridge and walks through the castle without anyone bothering them into the correct classroom right away?? Like did they get a copy of the teaching schedule? Did Peeves show them?

- Dumbledore did NOT teach DADA. Dumbledore taught transfiguration. He was still teaching Transfiguration when Tom Riddle went to school. So if Dumbledore is teaching Transfiguration, Minerva McGonagall would not be at Hogwarts because she taught transfiguration after Dumbledore. Pretty sure mcgonagall was too young in 1927 to be a professor. LAZY WRITING. 

- Just looked it up. Pottermore (official JK writing, btw) states that Minerva McGonagall was born in 1934. So she’s officially negative 7 years old and a professor. That’s GOT to be a record. Poor Rowan Khanna will never beat preconception tenure.

- Despite me being ecstatic to hear/see a young McGonagall, the camera never held still long enough for me to see a young McGonagall. Any far away shots only demonstrated despite this being 1920s, she was still dressing in the 1890s. McGonagall, despite the obvious laughs it was going for, would never use magic against a student.

- Haha this dumb neanderthal student is Grandpa McClaggen. 

- Dumbledore, being known for wearing really flamboyant robes, dresses in conservative three piece suit. 

- Why would you not go home for the holidays when you have to take care of a baby raven you can just put it in a box or your pocket for christ’s sake you’re carrying like 6 niffler babies at one time but you never even show them again

- Will say that young Newt’s casting is A++

- WHY ARE THE UNIFORMS NAVY BLUE. WHY DO THEY WEAR RED TARTAN SKIRTS. WHY DO THEY HAVE PHD EMBELLISHMENTS ON ACADEMIC REGALIA? Why do they have colored hoods when the original films (and books to boot) say all black robes. Why are these robes not even proper wizarding robes but just like...cambridge robes. 

- To be honest this boggart lesson is like?? insane?? how did it last for 70 years it’s honestly so unethical and cruel. I’ve ALWAYS thought this even reading it for the first time in POA I was like “people’s worst fears are spiders and mummies?” like my greatest fear even at 12 was people I love dying. The fact that Newt is more scared of a desk than Theseus dying is weird.

- “I don’t want to talk about my boggart” Leta LeStrange means there was an Incident where Dumbledore realized that some students don’t have Great Home Lives and yet persists in this lesson for the next 70 years knowing that multiple kids are going to have their parents abusing them as their greatest fear. 

- Corvus, as a name, just means Raven. How stupid. “Is your house crest a raven?” “Yes. Also my brother. Like if you were named Badger McHufflepuff.” “Oh don’t worry my name is just Lizard Lizard.” “Cool."

- No background or even hints at future background (e.g. they haven’t written it yet) on why Leta gets with Theseus even after the first film where he has a picture of Leta in his suitcase. 

- Theseus and Newt have no screen time interaction. They do not behave like brothers. They have no flashbacks. Even young Newt never interacts with his brother. There is no realism here that Newt says they have a complicated relationship or is annoyed by his brother. This exposition is just lazy writing with nothing on screen to back it up. 

- So you’re telling me Dumbledore had the mirror of erised for SEVENTY YEARS and yells at harry for looking in it for three nights. How did Dumbledore not go mad? Where did he get it? I feel like 70 years is a long time to have it. 

- I guess when you think about it yeah being 40 in the 1920s does put you on the mark to be 110 when Harry meets you but fuck the books did NOT explain HOW OLD Dumbledore was to me I always thought he was like hale and sprightly 70s/80s

- Okay so you’re looking in the mirror and going to just BRAZENLY FLOUT CANON and say his deepest desire looking in the mirror is to relive the memory of the blood oath? That’s exposition. That’s a memory. That’s a pensieve not a mirror. Your greatest desire has ALWAYS BEEN saving Ariana. And even if it was loving Grindelwald this is your GREATEST DESIRE like being together not reliving a blood oath just for the sake of audience explanation. LAZY WRITING. 

------ Back to other rants

- Most of this movie was me squinting being like ‘what’s the plot??’ and if there was a whiff of plot (”we all have to find credence’s birth records!”) most of it was me being confused “why does this matter?” “how did they all get there?”

- The confession of Newt trying to talk to Tina in the records room was painful. Not cute. Not even funny. Just so painful. It was like secondhand embarrassment but like...pity embarrassment. 

- I don’t know why Grindelwald has a map of a Parisian cemetery. I don’t know why he had to give it to Credence except as a big reveal. I don’t remember how Queenie got there. I genuinely DO NOT understand how Jacob got there much less passed through to the secret wizard place as a muggle. 

- No idea why the records lady was attacking them when Leta checked in twice (once as Tina). NO CLUE why they were the worst animated cats of all time or why they became multiple cats or even why when taken out of the French records they became even worse animated ‘real’ cats when they could have just used real cats. The entire chase scene was baffling and unnecessary. The records lady was not an agent of Grindelwald so no idea what’s up with her bee in the bonnet sorry for wrecking all your shit bye.

- I saw this movie less than an hour ago. I’m still confused how Leta, Newt, and Tina all teamed up or why they were cool teaming up or what. 

- This mausoleum has a Greek hellenistic statue of a man reclining for no apparent reason and these shelves are supposed to bear ashes right so why are you putting a dumb pop up book there. Why would Grindelwald’s agent remove the record in drag as an old lady? It was weirdly unnecessary. 

- Yosef’s exposition on how a white man literally imperiused and raped his mother was like WOW NO ONE IS GONNA EVEN TOUCH THAT???? and then for her to die in childbirth it’s like...my dudes wizards have cured so many diseases muggles haven’t you know they’re up there inventing the c-section with Julius Caesar and accio’ing babies out of utero like ‘gimme that catcher’s mitt she’s fully dilated.’ This whole “oh it was the 1900s” nonsense does NOT apply to magic. LAZY WRITING. 

- I immediately forgot what happened to Corvus’ mom. but whatever right? she’s just a disposable woman! this movie does NOT care about consent! much less women! haha they’re just flowers!

- ‘I killed my brother’ yeah i mean we saw that coming she was REALLY SURE he was dead. But I was 90% sure it was going to be a child accident like dropping him down the stairs or shaking him too hard to get him to stop crying and then swapping him with a live baby but no? so i don’t know i feel like you didn’t really kill him.

- this steamer going down is confusing. is it a muggle ship? if it’s a muggle ship than is Credence swapped a baby with...a muggle born wizard? Are their other wizarding families on the ship? If so then why did they drown? you can all magic out of there? your lifeboat wouldn’t go down? why even take a steamer ship to america? you can...apparate or portkey or floo or fly like this titanic nonsense makes NO SENSE. And if Papa LeStrange hates muggles so much why put his only children on an all muggle ship with a half elf (again why) who can’t do magic to protect them

- Finding Credence’s identity REALLY doesn’t need to revolve around the LeStrange’s sordid past. Steamer ships keep passenger logs. So. We really should leave the mausoleum now to go find that. 

- Yosef took an unbreakable vow to kill this white baby and it’s dead so is he released? He was released like...20 years ago. Why does he continue to hang out with these people? Your endless vengeance has rested? No need to team up with the sister you never knew? apparently (their family dynamic was also poorly/not explained). 

- Why is this mausoleum an underground amphitheater. Literally why it makes no sense. Is it supposed to bring up the first David Yates film OotP? I don’t know. It also has a lot of blue fire and people rapturing the fuck out of there (literally when did apparating involve staring up at the sky and blasting off in rocket smoke). Also in re this movie how can you be tracked after apparating (Newt/Dumbledore’s tail). 

- So if you touch this curtain do you automatically teleport to this amphitheater. Also what if you touched it by accident and were like OH SHIT HOW DO I GET OUT. Like wow this guy wasn’t kidding when he said there’s no wizard that can match him magically. This is like Charles Xavier Magneto Level 1 Mutant Power kind of shit. Not even Voldemort could do that. Big Power Too Big trope. Again. How did Jacob even GET there. 

- Johnny Depp wears leather pants. Costume department, get your act together.

- Grindelwald, continuing to be British, shows clips of the Great War, approx 1914-1918. While the tanks and biplanes were appropriate, there were also lines (assumingly?) to concentration camps and the nuclear bomb of Hiroshima, which wouldn’t take place until 1945. So is Grindelwald also a prophet? Is he a seer? They kept referencing this book of poems and prophecy but without letting us see it? it went along with my general ‘I’m getting the gist of this but not really the why because it doesn’t make sense.’ And then Grindelwald rumor mongers and uses fear tactics when one of the police aurors straight up KILLS A WOMAN like wow can we cool it with use of force/police brutality is this guy going to get written up or is he fire now? 

- Ethnically ambiguous Grindelwald supporter (only person of color) gets immediately incinerated for not being 100% sure of his side. When Credence feels the same way, he gets a couple of gifts. 

- Look, I didn’t start this way but I stan Leta LeStrange. She was honestly one of the only people and the only woman in this film with a personality. 

- Queenie stands still as weak, silly, expositional, dumb American. For those of you about to be like ‘She’s spying on Grindelwald! She’s the greatest legilimens that ever lived!’ I just want to beg you to reconsider because if you’re right and if the writers get wind of that you know they’re going to have her like teach little Tom Riddle something just BECAUSE everything has to connect. 

- Poor Jacob he seems okay with being stranded in another country. Is his bakery okay? Do his friends know he isn’t dead? He is super super super brave throughout this movie despite his main comedic strength in the other movie being nervous. But this time he’s like meh firefights and large monsters.

- Credence I understand going over. Nagini continues to not be a character and did not go with Newt and Crew. 

- Wasn’t even sad for Theseus because again, Theseus had little to no character development except being a Whipping Boy to authority. Theseus and Leta never interacted in any meaningful way. Their relationship didn’t even seem real. I wasn’t even sad.

- I feel like Leta isn’t dead though because who the fuck else is carrying this LeStrange line to give birth to Rabastan and Rodolphus. 

- At this point everyone apparates AGAIN to Hogwarts. This time I guess a ghost went and alerted Dumbledore because he’s waiting. But yeah like come on in for tea Newt but fuck all those kids they can wait here. 

- What is this plot?? Is there a plot?? What is going on??

- Who gives someone a wand like this hi I hid it up my sleeve touch me my boy I long for your touch.

- This is a phoenix, not a Raven. Newt is a sad ordinary bird but you’re a bright beautiful phoenix. Apparently phoenixes can grow up in ONE DAY. Foreshadowing Dumbledore is foreshadowing. LAZY WRITING this is so stupid. The books would have been EXPLICIT about a fourth child. 

- Maybe he’s a cousin. Close relative, perhaps? *Pleakley voice*

“He hasn’t got a brother?” 

Dobby shook his head. 

Literally where I’m at right now. 

- ABRUPT ENDING IS ABRUPT I didn’t even realize this was the end of the film because the score, cinematography, and writing did NOT cue me that this was winding down. I literally was like ‘how long does this last’ and then it was like DAVID YATES. Okayyyyyyy. 

- Anyway my sum feeling upon the lights going on was: what the fuck. was there a plot. there were so many loopholes. i was confused about many things almost the whole time because nothing was fleshed out and if they threw enough CGI at me I’d be patched up. 

Final rating: It matches up pretty well to the middle film of The Hobbit trilogy. 

[ace-theatre-ghosts]

Hi, I Am Asexual/Ace

I am just sharing where I am coming from as an ace person. These are by no means guidelines for all ace people but the goal here is to inform or expose. To share with you personally a little bit about what it’s like to be ace. Lately, I’ve had to come out all over again to a variety of different kinds of people who don’t seem to know much about what being asexual actually implies.

Let’s start with a few definitions---

Asexual: someone who is not sexually attracted to others.

Demisexual: someone who only feels sexual attraction after forming an emotional connection.

Aromantic: someone who is not romantically attracted to others.

These definitions are important because there are people who think that being any of these things means that those who identify with them don’t have sex or are afraid or can’t have certain connections with others (whatever it may be). Breaking it down very basically- this is all about attraction not activities. It is all solely about the individual who identifies as one of these. It’s kind of like- someone who is Roma is not Romanian but there are Romanian Roma. So, someone who is asexual isn’t sexually attracted to someone but there are asexual people who are repulsed or indifferent about sex and prefer not to have  it. LIKE ME! Yeah.

I am indifferent about sex and in some ways repulsed by it. I don’t like it, I don’t want to have it, I don’t think it is necessary in relationships (and if you really want to get deep, I certainly don’t think it should play a major part in ANY relationship but that’s just me). You cannot change this. I have had a significant other that thought this was flexible, like if only the right dude came along (like he would be the right dude, uhm excuse me).

When I pursue deeper relationships beyond friendships, they are strictly platonic. I have yet to compromise my lack of sex life for a relationship and I don’t expect to.

^ Nor do I expect to become demisexual. But- who knows. Not current me’s problem.

I consider myself aromantic. Aromantic and asexual are different, you can be one or the other or both. I don’t feel the need to be in a relationship and lack romantic desires so therefore- aromantic.

I feel the need to say this a few times just so y’all get the point- THIS DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP! Some asexual people just so happen to not desire a significant other- some do. A lot do, actually. While I am not chasing anyone down, I am not against being in a relationship.

I acknowledged that I might be ace when I was 15 or 16. I always thought the sexual feelings would just eventually be there- as if they are some vital part of development. Buuuut. They didn’t. SO... Uhm. I came to full terms with being ace when I was 17. But I’ve sort of always, I guess, known... I think that’s what I’m supposed to say but I really wasn’t too educated on the whole thing until I even got to high school.

I am not 100% out for a lot of reasons. This isn’t common knowledge among my family or even some of my closest friends. I’ve been close to someone since I was 13 who does not currently know I am asexual. Unless he’s reading this now in which case SURPRISE *as it rains gray, purple, white, black confetti* Some of my friends- it isn’t necessarily that they’ll reject me but that I don’t think they’ll understand to the point it would hurt our friendship. To be honest, everyone is different and being ace is important- but it isn’t all I am. Someone knowing or not knowing won’t change anything about me and our friendship means more.

I pursue intimate friendships. I tend to cling to small groups of people. Like “quality vs quantity” I guess. I’m an open book overall but I prefer being an open book to smaller amounts of people instead of a bunch-- if that makes any sense. There is a lot of potential it doesn’t.

Being ace doesn’t make friendships and feelings any easier and I don’t really know why people would think that. Then again- I don’t know why people think a lot of the things they do about asexuality or why they ask some of the things they do. I mean, even writing this I’m sitting here thinking, “I can’t believe I actually have to answer this question, why is this even important.” Or I am going through some of the things that have been said to me after coming out and I wonder what is so hard to understand. Anyway, you’ll of see why I would think that in a minute.

I have been in relationships beyond intimate friendships. I don’t really feel like going into depth about this but if you really want to know- certainly ask because I do tell. Usually with a lot of passive aggressive remarks for flavor but I do tell nonetheless.

I do not share my personal sex life (partner or no partner ;) ) with others so don’t ever ask. I’ve told you all you need to know.

I don’t identify as gay or straight or anything else that points me towards a particular gender. I can tell you that my type tends to be masculine and I don’t necessarily discriminate against genders. But as for the types of people I’ve had some serious feelings for: butchy girls, trans men, men... I think you get the point. And I would prefer to be with someone who is also asexual, I just see it going better when both parties are equally yoked and have an understanding agreement vs a compromising agreement. I think it would make everyone happier. But hey- I’ve also never really pursued a relationship with anyone who isn’t ace. Feelings for non-ace, yes. Relationship with non-ace, yes. Pursued non-ace, no... (yeah that probably tells you too much about my dating life...)

I feel alone. Like. A lot. Because while I tend to feel intimate with people without needing a relationship- they don’t. I can care a lot for people who aren’t my significant other but I don’t feel like anyone cares about me the way I care about them. And as for what it’s like to actually pursue relationships, I face the issue of losing out on a relationship because I won’t have sex. A lot of people don’t want a relationship with an ace person or they think they can change that ace person by, “being the right one,” and that just isn’t the case. In fact, a lot of ace people face the issue of sexual assault when with non-ace partners due to lack of good communication and failure to properly recognize signals (or lack there of). Anyway, I feel like no one really understands where I’m coming from and how I am feeling. Like there’s something missing and I don’t really know how to describe it so I wish I could just transfer my feelings to other people, and they magically understand. But. I can’t, so... Here I am writing about it I guess and that’s just how life goes.

yeah so I’ve never really felt like I’m missing out on sex. Logically speaking- if you were to feel that way then... Would you still identify as asexual? I am not entirely too sure about this answer. It’s probably a yes but... that just doesn’t really sit with me as being simple.

Yes... I know what sex is and how it’s done. Thanks. I really... Really could care less for your worldly wisdom and middle school health lesson. Honestly just- THINK about it (sorry this is personal, stick with me).

No I don’t take birth control so I don’t get pregnant... Like most girls don’t take birth control so they don’t get pregnant.

Why do you care if I’m a virgin or not? Why does this even matter? Who asks?! I know who asks... People ask. A lot. Like. Why is this relevant information. This may be (historically) one of my most asked questions. That and, “are you gaaay.”

Being ace is not my “identifying characteristic” and if anyone thinks it is- I would prefer to try to inform them or distance myself from them. Like this isn’t the most important thing going on in my life 24/7. And fuck no, I’m not (will not be) your token ace friend. I am a girl who just so happens to be ace. This is (btw) why I can’t believe I have to answer some of the questions I do (if you recall from a few answers ago).

When I dress in what is considered “sexually provocative clothing,” it is for my personal fashion (like it probably would be for anyone else)- not provocative purposes. I like my boobs, what can I say?

My friends really confuse what it means to be asexual. Having to re-explain this to new people is really frustrating and anxious because I never know how people will react or how I will react to those reactions. I am very open minded of what other people think but to me it should be really simple--- why should my sex life even matter all that much for it to make or break a friendship.

I support marriage and if I find the right person it actually is in my plans to get married one day. Children of my own however-- I am not too entirely interested in having them.

I definitely consistently imply that I’m ace, but some people lack the education or understanding to make the connection. And that’s fine. But I do “come out” formally to most of my friends. It doesn’t usually just lowkey drop in a conversation. I usually make a decision on rather or not to come out. It isn’t advertised on my public social medias, I don’t scream that I am ace when I am around friends I’m not out to. It’s a moment for me each and every time because... what if? What if they don’t like that? What if they really don’t know what the fuck this is? What if they say, “you’re not a plant.” Or assume I’m just some kind of robot?

Though, as someone who identifies as asexual I am technically apart of the LGBTQA+ Community- I don’t personally get that involved outside of being an ally of sorts to my friends. I guess I just feel like I get a lot of pressure to answer to additional sexual identities like “You’re asexual- do you like men or women?” Like. I don’t and that’s my answer. Why does it matter? But I have a lot of friends within the community who totally respect that too so-- depends on the day and phase of the moon, I guess.

I am not ashamed of my sexual orientation. But it’s my business and it’s for me to talk about. I don’t want to be outed by anyone else. This isn’t a card anyone else gets to pull, a joke to flaunt, a topic token they get to just throw around. My orientation is a very serious aspect of my life. It isn’t funny. It isn’t yours

My best advice for someone who doesn’t understand asexuality is to just ask. Don’t make assumptions. Make an effort to better understand especially if you have an ace friend in your life. We are still people with very real human emotions facing problems both just as unique and common as anyone else.

Some of these are answers to questions I personally get a lot or things I wish people knew/understood about me, and some are answers to questions I found online that other ace people get a lot since I do have a history of having very accepting and understanding people in my life over this issue (mostly other members of the LGBTQA+ Community). If you have any additional questions--- I would love to answer them but as I said my sex life as far as what I have done and will do with or without a partner is personal and I don’t care to keep people who don’t need to know informed (you would be surprised so put that eyebrow down, I know the stats). Just as I don’t really care to hear about other people’s sex life (please and thank you). Find another ace to ask if that’s the question.

Everyone is different. What I have shared are not guidelines for all ace people. There are many different kinds of people within this particular community and they are all coming from different experiences, orientations, and situations. For example- some ace people have and enjoy sex. I just so happen to not... It’s very much about the individual as most things tend to be. I hope this helps people understand a little about me or maybe someone you know. Thank much for reading! Continue on with your daily lives, disasters, existence, etc!

[lyaress]

Why do you like hidekane?

Why WOULDN’T I like Hidekane? But I’ll give this a shot to do it justice, even though I know I will miss a lot of stuff.

A supportive friendship is the perfect foundation for a long-lasting, loving relationship.

They are both lonely without each other, and both feel happiest when together

The lonely bunny thing is fucking cute ok I can’t believe they have an inside “joke” about how they would die from loneliness without each other that’s-

Kaneki was forced by Nishiki and Touka to leave Hide out of things and it didn’t go well for him, bad idea, Kaneki needs Hide and vice versa ok don’t separate them

Kaneki never said he wanted a place to belong in the human world, he wanted to belong either in the ghoul world or with Hide, not the human world.

They would both rather suffer themselves than risk putting the other in danger

That time Kaneki likened himself and Hide to Kimi and Nishiki like damn that’s gay

They know the best and worst things about each other and still just wanted to be together

They’re comfortable with each other, and take comfort from each other’s presence which is super important in a psychological horror/thriller manga

Literally everything Hide did to help Kaneki even when Kaneki was gone, he went to unbelievable lengths to help

“Why are you willing to go this far for Kaneki Ken?” “Because I love him, do I need any other reason?”

“You always hid the things I didn’t want to see, you always protected me” “That’s right, you really do know me, huh?”

Hide reads for Kaneki despite claiming that it isn’t his thing

Hide goes out of his way to not only remind Kaneki of upcoming book signings so he doesn’t forget to go, but also attends those book signings in his absence

Hide comments on Kaneki’s appearance pretty much every time they meet up, so often that even dream!Hide compliments Kaneki

Emotionless Emo Savage Reaperneki’s reign was ended by a conversation with dream!Hide

On that topic, Reaperneki was suicidal because he wanted to die like Hide all the while recalling additional sewer events including their (probable) kiss

Hide trying to being subtle in his support of ghoul!Kaneki because he knows it would put Kaneki and himself in danger (Touka) if Hide found out

If Kimi letting starving Nishiki eat from her is romantic and a sign of their intense bond then so if Hide letting Kaneki eat from him (even if Kaneki goes overboard a bit)

While their communication issues (not even their fault btw) are unhealthy, they’re not toxic or abusive in any way and that’s a lot more than can be said for a certain canon romance

Hide held onto the signed copy of the book for years to send to Haise like that is… dedication, wow. Dude goes ahead and dies and still remembers to keep bae’s gift

They can read each other’s body language so well and they use that knowledge to make each other more comfortable or to cut through bullshitting

Kaneki was so scared of losing Hide but he was never going to Hide loves him so much he doesn’t care if you’re a ghoul baby omg they’re so dumb

Kaneki would go on super long monologues about how terrible human food was but his motivation to swallow was imagining him eating with Hide and being happy

Kaneki beat up Nishiki in the really early chapters for Hide: “For Hide to be killed… I don’t want that. I don’t want that. I don’t want that. I won’t forgive that.”

Hide reminding Kaneki to eat lots of times, and now that I think about it his “death” was making sure Kaneki was well fed too xD

I’m probably gonna remember more in like 20 minutes so expect me to keep adding to this lmao this is just what I remembered on the spot

[bastardsunlight]

😡

😡 :  Worse role play-related encounter and what advice you would give to others to avoid similar situations?

Okay so hang onto your butt ‘cause this is going to get long. ALSO heads-up there’s discussion of manipulative behavior, fictional rape/assault, and mentions of suicide.

A couple of years ago, I met this gal who wrote an OC—innocuous enough. She did sick art for her OC and it was fun to interact. I cannot recall if it was Cable or D to whom she first attached herself. We had a decent thread with D on me old blog, RadiantDecay ‘til the purge killed it. I think we picked it back up but idk…

Cable was the big one—the doozy.

So some of you know (e.g. anyone who’s written with me/read my muse sexuality/gender HC list that I have always written Cable as 100% pure grade-A home of sectional. I was very upfront about this when she clearly expressed a desire to ship with him, like, romantically.

Now, I don’t have a problem with age gap—I ship Raiden with people and he’s literally eternal so…. What I take issue with is when one muse is so very clearly WAY too immature to come close to appealing to a muse who has seen Some Shit™. Their lived experiences just cannot match up. Cable is a 50-60some time traveling gritty fuckin’ badass telepath with a giant gun and a constant headache named Wade Wilson (sometimes husband tho; depends on the day).

Turns out this gal was (probably still is) a MAJOR FC hunter. Josh Brolin (a Cable I only write peripherally) and Benicio Del Toro were her focuses (another buddy I met through her writes MCU’s collector, so there’s your Del Toro). I told her flat out Cable is gay and she was immediately lowkey hostile. She got over it though and we started writing.

Red flag much?

Thirty some odd replies in and this is shaping up a bit. We’re playing it on Providence, Cable’s island that’s made of his ship—blah blah blah—her OC has a power surge that knocks out half the computers. That was another thing about her OC. She HAD to be the strongest person in the room but also unaware of her strength except when it was interesting to the plot.

She started messaging me again about SHIPPING THEM. I said somethin’ like “he probably sees her as a daughter or granddaughter, maybe—he’s a mentor type. Also he’s still gay.” She acted like I’d never told her so I did something I rarely do and scrolled tf up, screenshotted the message, and posted it. “Yeah,” I said, “but I did.”

On another track, she decided to get into Devil May Cry. She wanted to write her OC as the reincarnation of Nero’s dead mother or something? But also wanted me to write that Vergil had raped the poor girl. Now, again, referring back to the chart, Vergil is also gay as fuck. I was also up front about this, BEFORE she whipped out the sexual assault card and even THAT I had to pry from her.

By this point our “friendship” was rocky as fuck. When I refused to write or acknowledge that, because I found it offensive, she started writing a “fuck you fic” (the channel title) in the server she named after herself and in which she gathered her “friends” (e.g. people who played characters with those FCs). I think she booted me from the server or something idk.

Anyway there was a bunch of shit and I actually DID keep screenshots from various disco conversations (which btw I NEVER do, but holy shit this was insurance), bu the culminating thing that made me run for the hills was the night she threatened suicide via voice message she straight up sent me over discord because I refused her freaky-ass rape plot. She said shit about how I called her “manipulative” (I didn’t) and how that really hurt and something about her fucking dog? Idk. She’d also mentioned at some point that a previous Cable Rper had referred to her as a “manipulative bitch”.

HMMMMMMMMMM.

I ain’t gunna post her URL or whatever, but suffice it to say, I got a hold of a mutual friend (thank god they gave me the time of day) to tell ‘em what had actually happened, ‘cause evidently the chick decided to ghost me and then tell some WILD tales with seriously doctored screenshots to her buddies in her server. They let me tell my story and trusted me on it because evidently the screenies were HELLA sus. They also shared some really uncomfortable instances of her racism and homophobia so that was neat—this friend being a queer person of non-whitery an’ all that. Nice. I recalled that when I’d mentioned I was queer meself, she’d kind of drawn back and acted REALLY goddamn strange.

So yeah, I asked this friend a final favor and I’d bugger off if they didn’t wanna deal with me: “please tell her she needs to unblock and DM me right now or I’m going to leak every fucking screenshot I have”. I was NOT happy. I just needed her to know that I knew she was lying about me and that I felt nothing but contempt for her. I told her in no uncertain terms that if I so much as got a fucking HINT that she was fucking with this mutual friend, I’d post ‘em all on a frickin’ sideblog and tag every single person with whom I KNEW she associated.

Was I gunna do it? For this friend? Hell yes. On me own, unprovoked? No. I had and still have a strict “no bullshit” policy when it comes to call outs, burn blogs, blah blah whatever. But the threat was enough to keep her worthless trap shut. See the reason I needed her to DM me was that I’d closed the convo without realizing she’d fucked off. I now have access to it—yes even today—so if you’re out there sweaty {; fuckin’ try me~

ASK THE MUN! - accepting

EDIT: a gazillion years later, but still Munday at least, I realize I didn’t answer the second half: advice to avoid similar situations. Honestly, give folks a chance, but follow your gut and do not be afraid to have extensive fucking rules. If people are scared off by a lot of reading in a hobby that requires reading, you don’t want to write with ‘em anyway. In addition, passwords (which I have) are OKAY. There are folks with “I don’t do passwords” in their rules and that’s fine, too; they’re just not going to be your writing partner. Do not bend on that. Be patient and cordial, but if your rules say “no threads without the password” don’t bend. (obvious exception is that like, mutual friends give you the all-clear on ‘em ‘cause they know this person personally duh, but otherwise stick to your guns!)