#btw just to clarify this is NOT to shit on ppl who make shit of them like this 👍 i very much enjoy that type of content. ooc who ooc is my

[two-wizards-in-a-trench-coat]

the more i think about it, the more "miles and phoenix pining for each other, wondering 'is he into men? and if so, is he even ... into me? 🥺' doesnt make sense. let me finish breakfast and i'll elaborate

[osaemu]

GOJO SATORU: GUILTY CONSCIENCE

✩ ‧ ˚. serial killer!au: ever since that first night, you can't get him off your mind—and even though you handed him over to law enforcement, it looks like he still wants you too. PART 1 | NSFW

contents: fem!reader. porn with plot, dubcon, semi-public sex (in a bathroom), oral (m. receiving), fingering (f. receiving), pet names (detective, princess, smart girl, pretty girl, etc.), gojo cums in your mouth. non-sexual threatening. non-sexual usage of knives/guns. more plot than porn. this is not good for you btw !!! 4K words.

author's note: pls appreciate your smut writers bc this shit is hard !!!! the sk!series might be over after this one bc i'm not feeling it anymore, but nothing's set in stone yet. posting this for the ppl who wanted a part two, but personally i would've just left it as a standalone.. oh well, i didn't want 4K words to go to waste, so enjoy 🤍

“satoru gojo, what are we going to do with you?” your subordinate asks, resting his hands on the table dividing the dim interrogation room in two. you and your coworker sit on one side, facing the serial killer on the other side—who also happens to be the man you fucked in an alley two weeks ago.

ever since that first encounter, you haven’t been able to get his face out of your mind. at work, his ice blue eyes haunted your every move. at home, he was all you could picture as your mind strayed back to your time beneath him. and now, as you and your boss interrogate him, all you can think about is how good satoru’s hands felt roaming over your skin when you cornered him—or, more accurately, when he cornered you.

“i dunno,” satoru replies, leaning back in his chair and resting his hands behind his head. he grins shamelessly, looking you up and down with interest. “so, pretty girl, how’ve you been since we last met?”

you slip your hands into your pockets to stop yourself from doing something you’ll regret and ignore the curious look your coworker gives you. “this meeting isn’t about me. this is about the people you killed and the punishment you’re about to get,” you answer through gritted teeth.

satoru laughs, eyes locking with yours and seeing right through you. “that’s funny. so, who’s this shrimpy guy next to you? your boyfriend?” he jeers, grinning unnervingly at your coworker. you shoot your subordinate an apologetic look, which he responds to with a nod.

“i’m her boss, actually,” he clarifies, running a hand through his blonde hair and narrowing his eyes. “kento nanami. and i’ve been referred to as a lot of things, but shrimpy is a first.” satoru makes a face and laughs, as if he’s amused by the whole scene. 

“really? i’m surprised,” satoru replies easily. “i mean, whatever. i’ve seen better looking officers… like the one next to you.” he looks back at you, a careless smile still dancing on his lips. kento frowns and looks back and forth from you to satoru, and you force yourself to maintain a poker face in order to detract any suspicion.

“do you two know each other?” kento asks, crossing his arms. satoru starts laughing again, to which you roll your eyes. even if satoru were to tell kento what you hadn’t—that you two had fucked when you were supposed to be arresting him—you doubted that kento would believe him. after all, what’s the word of an obnoxious criminal compared to yours?

you shake your head and ignore satoru. “i’m the one who’s been leading the investigation on him for the past couple months,” you answer. kento meets your eyes and cocks an eyebrow, so you continue, “we met two weeks ago. i cornered him, but he escaped—”

“she let me,” satoru interjects, clearly enjoying the death glare you shoot at him a second later.

“you held a gun to my forehead,” you remind him pointedly, tapping the spot on your head where you vividly remember the cold metal resting against. 

“yeah, but i kissed it aft—”

“we’re getting off-topic,” kento interrupts, shooting you a warning glance. “detective, i’ll handle the interrogation from here.”

you hesitate, not liking how smug satoru’s expression is—but, seeing as you don’t have a choice, you dip your head in assent and exit the room. 

now that satoru’s been caught and is now in the grasp of the law, you don’t really have anything to do for the rest of the day. he was your case, and now, it looks like it’s closed, especially if your boss is the one interrogating him.

kento nanami has a reputation among law enforcement—he’s known as the stoic, serious man with a perfect record. there hasn’t been a single criminal he’s interrogated that hasn’t cracked, although the knot in your stomach tells you that this might be the first.

a sharp knock sounds on your office door, summoning you back from your train of thought. “it’s open,” you call, holding a piping hot coffee with both hands. kento opens the door and steps inside, eyebrows unusually tensed. his hands are balled into fists, too, in stark contrast to his characteristically calm demeanor. 

“something wrong?” you ask tentatively, studying your boss’s troubled eyes.

kento takes a seat in the leather chair in the corner of your office and rests his elbow on the armrest, rubbing his temples. “detective, be honest with me. what happened the night you were supposed to arrest satoru gojo?”

for the first time since satoru pinned you to the wall of a darkened alley, your heart drops. kento’s knowing eyes watch your every move, from the subtle twitch in your eye to the way your fingers tense around the cup of coffee. “what do you mean?” you ask carefully, surprised at how steady your own voice is.

“detective, don’t play games with me,” kento asserts calmly, hand casually drifting towards the side of his waist. you know him well enough to know what he’s reaching for—the same instrument that another man pressed against your forehead just two weeks ago.

despite your mind being clouded with fear and uncertainty, you manage to rationalize your way through the situation. what proof could your boss possibly have besides the word of a criminal? 

it’s your word against his—and you both know whose word kento’ll believe.

“that night, he threatened to kill me,” you start, repeating the story you told the authorities when they came ten minutes too late to catch satoru. “and he must’ve drugged me or knocked me unconscious because next thing i knew, he was gone.” your confidence grows with every word, and you start nodding as if you believe your own lies.

kento’s eyes narrow, and you force yourself to hold your poker face as he scrutinizes you and your words. three long, painful seconds of silence pass before his hand moves away from the holster strapped to his waist, and you internally sigh in relief. he stands without a word and makes to exit the room, but before he does, you risk it all. “why do you ask, sir?”

your boss pauses and turns back to you, eyebrows lifting in mild interest. he doesn’t answer immediately, and you tentatively ask, “...what did he tell you?”

kento exhales a soft huff of air, a look of dread in his brown eyes. “detective, for your own peace of mind, i assure you that you don’t want to know.”

well, fuck.

“i trust your judgement, then,” you reply, feeling your poker face start to slip away. you lift your now-cold cup of coffee to your lips and take a sip, attempting to hide the grimace that threatens to make an appearance. “have a good night, boss.”

“you too, detective. stay safe.”

“i’ll do my best.”

kento nods and heads out, and through your open window you watch him tell another one of your coworkers about how he’s planning on heading out early to make bread for his family, a gentle smile on his lips. eventually, he waves bye and exits the building.

you finish off your coffee and stand up, fishing out your key card from your pocket. you figure that you should head to the bathroom before you go home, just in case. a couple of your coworkers congratulate you when you come out of your office, praising you on the capture of your suspect. you take their compliments with a smile, ultimately wishing them a good night and escaping to the bathroom.

the door clicks shut behind you, and the comfortable quiet eases you at once. but before you can even appreciate the silence of the confined room, a sultry, familiar voice interrupts your thoughts. “aw, you weren’t gonna say bye before you left?”

you turn and your mouth drops open—standing before you, in the flesh, is the criminal you swore you last saw handcuffed to a chair.

“what the fu—”

satoru reaches out and grabs your wrist before you can scurry away or grab your phone. he pulls you into his chest, and you can feel his heartbeat against your back—at least, that’s what you notice before he clamps his hand over your mouth to stifle your yells.

“shut it,” satoru hisses, breath hot against the side of your face. he turns you towards the mirror of the bathroom so you can see how he’s holding you—one hand over your mouth, and one wrapped around your waist. “don’t try anything clever, sweetheart. i wouldn’t wanna have to hurt that pretty face of yours.”

you turn your head and glare at him furiously, cussing like a sailor against his hand. you eventually try to bite it, but your meager attack is essentially useless against his iron grip. satoru raises his eyebrows sternly and hushes you again, ice-blue eyes boring into your own. 

“i’ll answer your questions, honey, but be careful,” he pauses and nods at his pocket, where the handle of what appears to be a knife—how the fuck did he get his hands on a knife?—pokes out of the cloth. “okay, i’m gonna take my hand off your mouth now,” he murmurs, purposefully lowering his voice.

true to his word, satoru removes his hand from your mouth. you take a long breath and hesitate—again, there’s not much you can do in this situation but play along. if he’s telling the truth, you can ask questions and he can answer them, so you try your hand at getting some information and biding time. someone would have to walk in the bathroom eventually, right?

“by the way,” satoru starts, a grin curving the corners of his lips upward. “nobody’s gonna come save you, princess. the door’s locked from the inside.” he also removes his hand from your waist, letting you take a step back.

“how?” you ask suspiciously, unsure if he’s telling the truth or not.

satoru laughs—his hair falls into his eyes, and immediately shakes it away with a huff of breath. “i’m good with my hands. but you already know that, don’t ya?”

you back away towards the other side of the bathroom, where sinks line the quartz countertop. “why aren’t you still in the interrogation room?”

“you think you’re the only girl i can convince to let me go?” satoru tuts, clicking his tongue disapprovingly. he reaches into his pocket—not the one with the knife—and extracts a badge of some sort. satoru flicks it at you, and you catch it in midair. to your surprise, it’s the badge of one of your superiors who was supposed to be keeping an eye on satoru. the coy smile on satoru’s face confirms what you’re thinking, and his nod seals it the next second. 

“okay,” you say carefully, drawing out the word for a couple seconds. “how long have you been waiting here?”

“long enough,” satoru answers vaguely, not bothering to elaborate.

“thanks a lot,” you deadpan.

“nice to see that you’re still feisty—”

“and what the hell did you tell my boss?” you interrupt, suddenly remembering the dread-filled way kento had looked at you. the way your voice rises is unexpected enough to force satoru to involuntarily take a step back. it’s not much, but the step you take forward a second later to assert your position brings you a small feeling of satisfaction. after all, he’s only human—and all humans get surprised by loud noises.

satoru holds up his hands in mock surrender and eyes you skeptically. “you’re really worried about your boss’s approval, aren’t you?” he asks dryly, white hair falling into his eyes again. “heh, desperate much?”

you roll your eyes and curl your hands into fists—unfortunately, your action only seems to amuse satoru, but you ignore the little “aw” he coos and continue glaring at him. “answer the fucking question, satoru.”

“language,” he snorts. a second later, satoru cocks his head and thinks for a moment, and when his eyes land on you again he asks, “so, you’re still callin’ me satoru? cute.”

your face involuntarily heats up, and even though you’re sure satoru can tell, you pretend not to notice—again. “answer the question or i’ll scream.”

“you wouldn’t dare.”

“wouldn’t i?”

you don’t get the chance to fufill your threat, because satoru sees that you’re serious a second too early—everything’s a blur as he grabs your wrists and bunches them into one hand, firmly securing your hands behind your back. his chest rests on top of your back as he folds you over the bathroom counter, and his reflection leers at you from the mirror. “nice try, baby. but remember, you’re dealin’ with a world-class serial killer.”

“world-class? how humble of you,” you snap irritably, craning your neck to glare at satoru out of the corner of your eye. “you asshole, get off me or i’ll—”

satoru interrupts you by prodding at your lips with two of his fingers, forcing your mouth open and slipping them inside. you instantly attempt to bite him, but his fingers are so long that they trigger your gag reflex instead. “missed me, detective?” satoru coos, curling his fingers downwards and pressing on your tongue. a little whine involuntarily slips out of your lips, and satoru takes that as a yes. “yeah, i can tell,” he continues, studying your heated face in the reflection of the mirror. “i bet you couldn’t stop thinkin’ about me since that night, yeah?”

he doesn’t bother waiting for a response before he extracts his fingers and leaves you gasping for breath. you watch as satoru lifts his now-soaked fingers to his lips and runs his tongue over them, ice-blue eyes boring into your own. it’s disgusting, filthy even, but that doesn’t stop your thighs from clenching together in a futile attempt to hide your arousal from him.

“y’know, i think you’re wearing too many clothes,” satoru sighs, resting his chin on top of your head and smiling coyly. “wanna fix that for me?”

“do i have a choice?”

“no.” satoru pushes himself off of you and gives you enough space to start removing your clothes without his smothering presence. the idea of running away or screaming crosses your mind, but the serial killer’s smile makes you certain that you’d regret it—and that’s even disregarding the knife that’s still shining at you from his pocket. 

seeing as you don’t really have any other option, you slowly shrug off your coat and let it slide down your body and onto the floor. your collared shirt comes off next, followed by your pants, until there’s hardly anything shielding you from satoru’s hungry eyes. the feeling stirring in the pit of your stomach is hard to describe—it’s something like a mix between longing and fear, two emotions you hadn’t felt since that night.

and maybe, even though every instinct you have insists that this is the last thing you should be finding pleasure in, you want to feel that way again.

“you really coulda been anything in the world with that body,” satoru sighs, leaning back against a wall and taking his sweet time looking you up and down. his eyes narrow slyly as he watches you shrink away from him instinctually, and the next thing you know, he’s on you again, hands tracing over your skin and lips unbearably close to yours. “although, i guess it’s a good thing you’re a detective, ‘cause i wouldn’t have met you if you weren’t.”

you shouldn’t be agreeing with him, and as he lifts you up onto the counter, you also know that you shouldn’t be letting him do this. it goes against everything you swore to protect when you joined law enforcement, and if this ever got out—no, when it got out, you’d be the pariah of the city.

but even after thinking it through, one, two, maybe even three times, you can’t find it in your heart to care about much else than the hands pushing apart your thighs and slipping inside your shamelessly wet cunt.

“heh, how long has it been since we last did this?” satoru coos, eyes glazing over with a mixture of lust and adoration. his face is redder than you’ve ever seen it—the blush spreads all the way up to the tips of his ears, and it’s even more prominent underneath the overhead lights as he eyes you. “two weeks, right? feels like it’s been twenty.”

“do you ever shut up?” you mutter sourly, averting your eyes from satoru’s. he responds by curling up the two fingers he has inside your cunt, a mean little smile on his lips. 

“careful with that mouth of yours,” satoru warns, pushing his fingers in farther until he’s practically knuckle-deep inside of you. his thumb rests firmly against your clit, toying with the sensitive skin. “it’ll get you in trouble one day, pretty girl…” satoru withdraws his fingers in one swift motion with a soft, wet pop. he lifts his hand to his lips and licks off your slick, swiping his tongue over his fingers a couple times with a smile. “y’know what? i’ll let you go if you can do one thing for me, ‘kay?”

he waits for your response, raising an eyebrow patiently for you to catch your breath. it almost feels like deja vu, or some cheesy movie from the 90’s: the pretty little detective getting fucked by the big bad serial killer, and you know how these films always ended—not pretty.

“what?” you ask halfheartedly, expecting him to ask you to do something like erase him from the police records or sabotage the investigation. satoru cups your face with both hands, leaning in close enough for his lips to brush against yours, and his smile is almost mocking when he replies.

“suck my dick.”

part of you wants to ask “that’s it?”, but the glimmer in satoru’s knowing eyes makes you certain that he won’t make this easy for you. 

“what if i say no?” you ask tentatively. it’s a stupid question—now you’re just playing russian roulette with his rationality, and either way, you already know your decision.

the past two weeks have been torture. every waking moment of yours was spent thinking about the man you fucked, and every time you thought of his carefree smile and feather-light touch, you just felt guilty for wanting more. after all, when you first became a detective, you swore to prioritize your job and not make any personal relationships with your subjects. and yet, here you were, almost too eager to get on your knees for the serial killer who you swore to incapacitate. 

satoru shrugs nonchalantly in response to your question and not-so-subtly shoots a furtive glance at his pocket, where the handle of his knife still pokes out. “you’re a smart girl. i think you can guess, yeah?”

and that’s how you ended up with your lips wrapped around satoru’s dick for the seventh time (if you include every fantasy you’ve had about giving him head). it’s almost funny how he switches up the second you run your tongue over his blushing pink tip—his face goes red, all the way up to his ears, and the little breathy moans that slip out of his lips would be adorable in any other context but this.

“f-fuck, wasn’t expecting you to be this good,” he manages to mutter through gritted teeth, eyes fluttering open and shut. “where’d you learn to suck dick like this, heh—”

it’s been.. a while since satoru first helped you get on your knees in front of him and unzipped his pants, and even though it could’ve just been a couple minutes, it feels like this is all you’ve ever known. satoru’s ice blue eyes have barely moved from you since you started, and it looks like it’ll stay like that until you finish—or, more accurately, until he finishes.

satoru’s foot bounces on the floor as you lick a long stripe from the tip of his dick to the top of it, and the way his nails dig into his palm makes you absolutely certain that he’s close to cumming down your throat. “shit, don’t— don’t stop,” he chokes out, threading his fingers through your hair and involuntarily pushing down your head. “fuck—”

when satoru finally cums, it’s pitifully obvious—actually, it’s almost embarrassing. last time, you were the one in shambles when he was done with you, but now, it looks like it’s the other way around. his eyes flicker as they almost roll back from the sheer pleasure of you sucking him dry, and when satoru’s cum shoots out of his painfully hard dick, it’s a hot mess that leaks out of your mouth and down your chin. 

“y-yeah, good girl,” he murmurs shakily, reaching down and swiping his thumb over your cum-soaked, swollen lips. you lick off the thick, viscous liquid from his fingers instinctually, a dazed little smile on your face as you watch satoru tilt his head back towards the ceiling.

it’s interesting, seeing the city’s infamous serial killer like this. he’s leaning back against the white tile of the bathroom walls, chest heaving from his orgasm, and in that moment, you realize that his attention is on everything else but you. 

so, naturally, you stab him in the back.

not literally—that’d be a pain for your office’s custodian to clean up, but you extract the knife from satoru’s discarded pants and, before he can register the sharp object in your shaky hand, you press it to his blush-red throat. 

satoru’s hazy eyes widen in disbelief as he realizes what’s going on before they narrow in what looks almost like a mix between anger and shock. it’s stupid, foolish, and almost naive, but somewhere in your chest, it feels like a dagger pokes at your softened heart when you categorize the look in his eyes as betrayal. which is, by all accounts, entirely unreasonable—did he seriously think you wouldn’t take advantage of him like this?

at the end of the day, no matter how good the dick was, you weren’t about to sacrifice your well-paying job for a man on the run from the law.

“what the fuck?” satoru snaps, hand twitching in a movement to throw you off of him, but thankfully, the sudden shift in atmosphere heightened your instincts to a point where nothing could possibly catch you off-guard. you dig in the knife a millimeter deeper into his throat, avoiding eye contact with the man you just made cum with your mouth. “are you—”

“yeah, i am,” you assert, biding time. as much as you’d like to pretend that you’re completely in control of the situation, there’s only so long that you can hold up this stalemate. satoru’s stronger than you physically, and the second he figures out a way to handle the knife pressed to his neck, he’d get his revenge.

satoru comes to this conclusion about as fast as you did, and his lips curve upwards in a jeering smile. the look in his eyes is borderline insane when he snarls, “nobody’s gonna rescue you from me, princess. just you wait—”

and, with perfect comedic timing, the bathroom door opens, and one of your female co-workers steps in. you’ve never talked to her much, but thankfully, her instincts are even faster than yours.

what happens next goes by in a haze. your co-worker holds a gun to the side satoru’s head, and calls for backup. then, a handful of sleepy-eyed police officers haul away a cursing and fighting satoru to who-knows-where.

but just before he’s out of sight, satoru shoots you an unsettlingly calm look. and as if that wasn’t concerning enough, the last words he mouths to you are “this isn’t over.”

[fffanii]

10.03.24

more inaisei song au stuff

ranting below, BEWARE!!!

OKOK so. this is not canon in any capacity. these silly little fans are like how ppl make aus based on pjsk cards and what not. thats what these guys are

the first is liar dancer, second is hitomania, third is uminaoshi, fourth is god-ish. now, you might be like. wtf uminaoshi??? liar dancer and hitomania and maybe god-ish are fine but UMINAOSHI??? and to that i say. it was a joke. and then i got attached. BUT JUST LOOK AT THAT GUYYYY HES SO FUCKED UP!!!!

this was the start of the joke btw. its so fucking stupid. context? teto likes to bully fan for shits and giggles idk

anyway. i like these silly fan song things and uh. i might make more designs but i also wanna do some for other characters… specifically non-breath oblige for suitcase :33

also. uminaoshi fan and god-ish fan are in a toxic gay situationship, do not question me, i make the rules, not you. so what if the fans are being gay for each other. i mirrorship all i want and fan is gay as hell what do you want from me

ALSO WHY IS MY ART SUDDENLY GETTING ATTENTION??? i should be glad (AND IM VERY GRATEFUL DONT GET ME WRONG) but its like wow. all these people who like my art are gonna be so disappointed when i throw filler at them nine times out of ten

ALSOALSO the ii charas are not teenagers… theyre still adults in this au…… im still figuring out the whole ‘how they became groups’ thing but they have GRADUATED FROM HIGHSCHOOL!!! BOT IS BASED ON BOW WHO IS AN ADULT SO BOT IS ALSO!!! AN ADULT!!!!! the cherries and yinyang and other characters who are portrayed as children a lot are ALSO!!!!! ADULTS!!!!!!!! i should clarify this because to be honest making them all be in highschool or younger feels a bit fucked up because i put them THROUGH some shit like im not putting a fourteen year old through whatever the fuck happened with the bright light’s sekai dude… that just feels wrong….

[ca-suffit]

Ok so i don't think that the other anon was wrong to ask about the use of the word "gremlin". despite it being from the books, there are plenty of people from the audience who have never read them (and probably never will) and still see the image of a brown man with dark skin tone being referred to in that way. it's very understandable that not everyone who watches the show is going to be comfortable with that.

there's also a way for fans to clarify this, without being rude and invalidating the concerns from other viewers as us "making things up to be angry about". it's easy to see why people, especially poc in this fandom don't enjoy interacting with gatekeepers who deny racism when at least three major characters (louis, claudia, armand) have been adapted as poc. you can not separate their life experiences from how their race is perceived in america or europe. some of you are going to have a hard time in this fandom if you think you can just sidestep or brush these type of conversations under the rug.

thank u for this ask. it's unbelievably hostile in this fandom and it's so much worse when u have an account that focuses solely on race within the story and this fandom's racism. every fandom has racism issues but this one is *fucking awful* for some rly specific reasons. I saw what it did before having an account but having one and being on this end of it is worse. part of what used to get sent to me was asking why I don't contribute more than just "whining." who wants to do anything here tbh?? I'm surprised anyone's even here. I already know a huge majority of the fandom is not in the tags and it's exactly bcuz of this shit. we had a lot of v antiblack harassment campaigns roll thru here too. this fandom fucking sucks.

I also appreciate your last comment, although I have to say to it that this fandom pushes off conversations about race all the time. nalyra_dreaming and virginiaisforvampires and a whole group of accounts ppl talk to much more than this one are always giving ppl excuses for why noticing race isn't important. it is the norm here. ppl buy into it more too bcuz it's fans of color saying it as well, not just white fans. the show has not been helping this lately either by not commenting on the racial aspects of the plot anymore, making it v easy for fans to further say "these ppl who talk about this all the time are delusional, don't listen to them, they're the *real* racists!"

anyway. all of that being said. I have pdfs of all the books and I searched the word "gremlin" and couldn't find it in any of them. it's not a rly important thing or anything but since u mentioned it IS in the books, do u remember an actual source? I'm just curious and asking genuinely. maybe it was a related short story, article, or fb post?

I do have familiarity myself with the fandom from before the show and I made no connection to this either, it's been news to me that his nickname was "gremlin." I'm not doubting that, btw, I'm just saying that even for ppl around before I don't think it's even known outside some specific circles. but ya. either way, gatekeeping and mocking ppl who ask questions, especially questions that aim to be aware of potential racial issues, is not helping anything.

[hotchs-big-hands]

Today turned out to be Pretty Bad™ stuck down very awful bad memory lane and I just wanna clarify to ppl why I may not always answer dms/asks etc. I've only really told one person on here the big details about this, and I won't go into all the details here either but it'll be enough to explain why. I hope anyway. Idk why I'm doing this.

I'll give a quick tl;dr here because it is long and also goes into very triggering topics such as self harm/suicide.

Basically I used to have a very close best friend, who I'll call shithead, back in early 2018 until late 2022 who extremely manipulative, emotionally abusive and just very overall toxic. If you've ever seen me refer to a "shithead" in tags or whatever then its about the person imma talk abt here. I was essentially the person they turned to to talk them out of doing things to themselves, if you get me. As well as a lot of other stuff. Ended up getting therapy (but not for the right reasons tbh) and also got a bad coping mechanism where I tend to not talk to people, I keep my distance and its smth I wanna tackle but it's difficult. So if you haven't heard back from me it's not cuz I don't like you, I am fighting with my brain. Also I kinda question if I actually am a good person or not because of stuff that I did in retaliation to this person.

I'll get into details now under the cut but yeah don't read if self harm/suicide/toxic dynamics are something you don't want to hear about for whatever reason.

As above, in early 2018 I used to have a different fanfic blog for a different fandom. I won't go into detail about which fandom and what the blog was but it was fairly popular. This is how I came to be friends with them. And like at the beginning it was fucking great! We became fast friends and we had a lot of shared interests. They introduced me to a lot of games, TV shows etc. But that's also where the problems started.

They were one of those types of fans. The "very possessive over certain characters" type of fan. If they liked them and had a crush on them then you couldn't do the same cuz character belonged to them. Which at the time I didn't rly like but I used to be friends with someone in high school who was also like that about characters so I assumed it was just a thing ppl did. However, it escalated to if I had a character I liked then they'd for some reason not like them and in fact hated them. This was kinda draining cuz they never wanted to talk abt stuff I liked, without actually directly saying so. They'd just shit talk them the whole time or say they hate them. So I stopped talking about what I liked. Later, they'd suddenly really like said media or characters and only then was it fine to talk about them. But in turn they'd be possessive and if I said oh okay I'll step back from them they would make me feel like I was being stupid because "no they didn't say I couldn't like them".

Anyway thats not rly the worst of it of course, the actual bad stuff is now so again, final warning for self harm/suicide. Will square off the triggering sections.

*********************

They struggled with their mental health a lot. Like a lot. I'd be there for them to listen, offer help and support because I like to take care of ppl and make sure they'll be okay. Except it escalated to them using me to talk them out of harming themself and killing themself. And this was almost everyday/night. And need I just say they were an hour ahead of me as well btw. I went to university in 2019 originally and by December I was completely burnt out because I spent every day and night making sure they didn't fucking do anything to themself. I got at most 2-3 hours of sleep a night if I was lucky and I stopped doing my hobbies and uni work because I just had no drive to do them anymore. It was clear I was also suffering mentally. I was suicidal and thinking of harming myself as well (and unfortunately I did do so a couple times). But I prioritised them. Everything was triggering for them, and I mean that. I had a long list pinned to my wall of everything I was to avoid mentioning because it would trigger them.

They never took care about my own mental health btw, which I'm not saying they HAD to but I know it was because they just didn't care. And they said as much too. They said because they are autistic they have no empathy and therefore do not feel anything about my mental health. So I suffered basically alone.

*********************

I dropped out of uni in early 2020 and in fact went home the weekend lockdown began in the UK. Things were not good. I was still trying to be support for shithead, I went to therapy and started medication for the wrong reasons. I wanted to get better so I could take care of them. Which like. Never do that. Never go to therapy so you can be someone else's therapist. Go to therapy because YOU want to be better for YOURSELF.

We were in in a bigger friendship group spread across a few discord servers and they all broke down one way or another. One instance there was an argument between shithead and a bunch of others who were comparing who had it worse during ww2. The others were Americans but were also of Jewish heritage with family who were affected by the holocaust and shithead lives in a country near where the holocaust happened with relatives who went through a famine. Either way it was just not gonna be a good conversation. Shithead left, I stayed and like I already don't rly talk to people much in groups because its overwhelming but I did do a little bit. Someone who was friends with shithead and still in the server told shithead I was talking to the others and in turn I basically betrayed shithead. Hindsight I wish I had just left the server ages before and like maybe j shouldn't have talked to the others idk. I regret it either way and think abt it a lot.

Another few shitty things I did in response to how shithead would treat me is giving them the silent treatment, giving short answers etc. I wanted them to feel bad, but it would round back to me being told I'm a coward and horrible to them. Which maybe I was but frankly I was scared of them.

*********************

Things began to rly break down when they showed me their fresh self harm wounds, blood and all, because they were "bored". I didn't talk to them for a few days and their apology wasn't much of an apology, more just making excuses again (aka I have autism so it's not my fault). I started talking less and less because by this point my brain had had enough ig and began to close off from them and just ppl in general.

*********************

In 2022 I finally returned to university and thats also when I finally stopped talking to them. A few months ago I finally blocked them on everything. However, I still struggle with communication and don't rly do it much. It's difficult to maintain friendships and I don't trust easily. I plan on going back to therapy whenever i can because this is just unresolved. But yeah idk I'm sorry to everyone who I haven't responded to, or take a long time to respond to.

One thing that is good tho is that like, after shithead I didn't enjoy anything. I didn't rly watch or hyperfixate on anything. But last year around this time I came across an Aaron Hotchner x plus size reader fic and I've been obsessed with him since!! And now here we are, got a blog and everything for a fandom finally after so long :) so it's not all bad.

But yeah that's why I struggle keeping up with messages and asks. Idk if anyone is gonna read this but if you've read this far then thank you and you mean a lot. Big hugs to yawl and I hope yawl have a lovely day, and if not then please take it easy 💖💖💖💖

[thekeeperofbalance]

so while writing my prev post (here) i was reminded of how much i dislike a lot of the canon relationships

mainly bc i'm a person with an excellent eye for unhealthy dynamics (i have much experience with them, but also i'm just very good at detecting power imbalances in relationships) and i felt like discussing them.

keep in mind, i'm fine with ppl who ship (i ship quite a few as well) these. i am just not fine with them being written like they were in canon, because they were deeply unhealthy.

warning: discussions of unhealthy relationships, death relating to valhalla's to-the-death activities (alluded to), abuse, (and because i don't want people clamoring unless they have questions and want me to clarify things, which i am perfectly happy to do, unless your rude) discussions of popular riordanverse ships being toxic/abusive/unhealthy

˚.⋆ 🌱 ⋆.˚

to start: percabeth.

i'll be honest---i haven't ever read hoo, and i never will. i just don't have the patience for it. but when ppl can quote lines abt a relationship being at least toxic, and at most abusive?? i get pushed off any ship real quick.

homes will discuss unhealthy relationships, will display the characters working through the problems presented within their relationships as they grow throughout the story. but i will never, ever, write an endgame toxic and/or abusive ship.

i loved percabeth in the pjo books, for the most part---even if i think it kind of overshadows all the other amazing ships out there, other than solangelo, for the most part. i'm not leaving solangelo out of this either.

anyways, i won't write endgame percabeth. that's just not gonna happen. they'll stay friends, and i've honestly preferred it that way for a long while. they just don't really fit together. i wasn't planning for them to stay together (you will see them together, but there will be some identity shenagins that annabeth will have to realise and imma be going through canon's mess, as well), because of an idea i've had for a while, that eventually birthed the ace-/aro-spec chase joke (magnus in homes is ace, natalie is aro, etc)

˚.⋆ 🌱 ⋆.˚

next: solangelo.

so, something i noticed when reading toa, is that will carries a lot of the emotional burden in his relationship with nico. i mean, he's fucking keeping him alive!! that's not something your partner should have to do. and by that i mean, your partner should not have to bear the burden of being the only thing keeping you alive---that's a fuck-ton of emotional labour, and i will give nico points for seeking some help, but i'm still re-working their relationship.

please do note that almost every relationship change spirals from my main relationship change of alex and magnus's healthy, consensual, and very queer, but not necessarily "typical" to society relationship. most of these characters have never really had a healthy relationship in their faces during their childhoods---i mean, percy has paul and sally, but their relationship is later, and they don't exactly push boundaries to make people reconsider their relationships and emotions. (i.e. alex and magnus are in a non-heterosexual, completely non-sexually-intimate (except for the very rare kiss on the lips, but it never gets further than that), healthy relationship that has extremely close ties to the kids in question)

˚.⋆ 🌱 ⋆.˚

fierrochase.

so, i absolutely adore fierrochase. i think they are, honestly, one of the healthiest relationships displayed within the entire riordanverse (they bow to carter & zia. blitzstone, sam & amir, hazel & frank (i think), and partially sadie x waltnubis which is only partial bc they have problems to work out, btw) that are majorly present and that i consistently remember bc i have adhd shit memory.

but i also must recognise, because this is a point i wish to make for later on, that any dynamic based upon killing your partner is unhealthy. no, i don't care that they can resurrect, that is still fucking traumatising. i will mention that them killing each other/magnus constantly being killed by alex is a mostly fandom-specific plot, so congrats, rick, there's one healthy relationship that's canon (and there are quite a few other ones, but i'm mainly pointing out the idealised ones).

they respect each other's boundaries, are learning about each other, and are taking their time to figure out their relationship. it's not really shown in canon---mainly because we get so little time with alex and magnus in a more-than-friends capacity, but we still see a lot of equal ground between the two of them. which is fucking important.

˚.⋆ 🌱 ⋆.˚

anyways: mallory x halfborn.

y'know the comment i made about dynamics based upon killing your partner are unhealthy a paragraph ago? yeah, this is what i was talking about.

one of the biggest bases, if mallory and halfborn were real, of their relationship would be fear. mainly because you would fear your killer. yeah, you can get desensitized to it, but you shouldn't have to become numb to fear of your partner just to continue being with them. no one is at fault here, and i will show that in the one-shot that discusses mallory & halfborn's relationship. i'm kind of horrified that their relationship is a thing that exists. i mean, can you imagine never knowing when your partner will just to decide to kill you, and did, and has?? even if you can't die permamently, that fear would stick.

especially in homes, where the battle scars stay. magnus will have a scar on their neck from the one time (just the once, and they discussed it afterwards), all of them have scars. (why i changed this will be part of another post.)

i can't write a relationship like that. one of homes' largest themes is healing, is growth, is escaping unhealthy thought patterns and relationships. the song that backs the entire series is don't panic by coldplay, if you wish to know the ideas i'm aiming to represent.

jason & piper, and calypso & leo are also problematic but not generally idealised within the books or by the fandom, and i can cover them later because i don't see much about them (personally) and because i am running out of steam.

lark, out.

[fraternum-momentum]

Okay, so let me ramble abt making the last comic, cause that was an absolute behemoth to work on, and I have a lot of thoughts in my head. Man, I don't know how those webtoon artists do it every week. They scare me now.

This is super long btw, so get cozy if you want to read :]

Starting off, I actually got this idea from my lil 'ol diary I keep by my tableside :] I like writing down what I feel so I can see it in a more concrete(?) manner, helps me cope i think. One time, I really did cry for someone because I guess I just really liked them a lot. Having crushes is fun, but catching feelings isn't.

I always get this giddy feeling of being head over heels for someone. Every interaction is so exciting. Intoxicating even. And I couldn't get enough of it, but after that few seconds of bliss I immediately think to myself that all these scenarios in my head will never happen, not in a million fucking years. I just preemptively reject myself without ever telling the person what I feel. I know what the outcome will be anyway, and I'm afraid of what will happen if I did say anything. It's just too risky.

The second half is completely made up tho, I will never ever kidnap someone... unless? (For legal reasons, I will have to clarify that this is a joke, Thank you.)

Now onto the comic itself!

The composition is probably the easiest and the most fun part. I love, love, love, how versatile you can be in the webtoon format. Figuring out how to transition the panels is super fun, and it sucks that most of the webcomics I see on tapas or webtoon, etc. are just sticking to those boring box formulas over and over again when it has so much potential, although there are exceptions like, for example, Lore Olympus. While it has it's fair share of flaws when in comes to other aspects, you can't deny the artist's talent esp when it comes to knowing how to place the character in an illustration, (again) the compositioning etc etc. (ep. 8 is p good. They stick to the box stuff during dialogue but gets more experimental in some parts. I haven't been keeping up with it, so idk any other good eps)

One of my only big regrets is that I wish I had made the space between the '...but I love it." and "And soon..." parts longer. I think it changed scenarios way too fast and your eye immediately moves onto the next piece of text,, but eh, it is what it is, and I can't be bothered to edit it so ig I gotta learn to live with it.

It's still messy in,, a lot of parts actually, and I still can't do lineart to save my life, but i kinda tried just cleaning up the sketches instead???? I mean, it kinda works, but it isn't really smooth so,, And there are small mistakes here and there that I could've fixed or colored stuff in properly or whatever. But at that point, I'm just done with it. No more. Am tired and want to draw other shit now. Maybe boobs n dicks n pussy-

Oh actually i have another comic in my wip folder that I started before the sad Kylar crying one. Here's some of the thumbnails for it:

the fucking lisa simpson looking ass face just cracks me up every time I see it LMAOQJSJQJ I just wanted to show it to u but stay tuned for that ig

I eventually want to make little comics like this for other characters as well! Like Sydney, who is also one of my favorites cause of the whole religion aspect to them, and I would like to tackle that topic with yet another super personal experience of mine that for some reason I'm comfortable with sharing with a bunch of ppl lmao

I also really want to make a full on nsfw one, like gut rearranging, carnal fucking, hardcore banging,, ok ill stop. But I do need to do more,, uh, "research" on that,, i swear it's research, i have no clue how im gonna draw it. Hell, I already struggle with drawing people fucking and imagine adding cool transitions to that. Guess even my masochistic tendencies extend to this shit too.

And I think that's pretty much it? I'll probably just stick to b and w or monotone with a few accent colors because i just know that it would break me if i did a fully colored one.

Okay, thank you for reading this ramble, I'll go ahead and answer some asks now,, Here's your prize though!

[7habitsofhighlyeviceratedpeople]

your post bashing the anon who requested mpreg feels a little bad… idk the gender(s) of that anon, but a lot of trans men and masc-presenting people love breeding and/or impregnation as kinks (and many opt for pregnancy irl quite seriously that’s unrelated to kink or fictional plots etc). just doesn’t sit well with me for you to judge that publicly in the way that you did. :(

of course you’re not obligated to write anything you don’t want to, but maybe don’t judge it so harshly like it’s some unheard of, crazy concept.

edit: real tldr it’s better lol. so sorry if it came off that way, i deleted the post if that helps bc i did actually get a dm from a mutual saying that it was actually them who sent it and i feel bad even tho they thought it was understandable bc they literally used such down bad language which idk j kinda made me giggle lolol i thought it would upset someone and i even asked in my discord if i should post it bc i didn’t wanna seem like i was “bashing” them bc i am obviously not i think you’re taking this a little too far. i am literally a trans male and i thought abt that while laughing abt this but i feel like it’s kinda obvious what i was laughing at that. there’s no like “just for friends” feature so i thought not tagging it and showing it was lighthearted and non judgmental/shaming was enough but ig not. i can post my own asks if they make me uncomfortable or laugh or whatever and i made it very obvious i wasn’t shaming and that the post was lighthearted

btw it literally was a screenshot that said “chat :/“ like the “chat is this real” meme bc i can’t stop saying that and then in parentheses a disclaimer abt how i am not shaming bc i think you’re allowed to be into whatever you want and i wouldnt have posted it if it wasn’t anon. sorry again if i offended anyone but i seriously think this isn’t a big deal and ppl need to lighten up a lil i’m not making fun of anyone or kink shaming i am laughing abt an ask IN MY OWN ASKS that someone decided to anonymously ask knowing it could be posted. mpreg is fine but i’m gonna have a lil laugh i’m sorry, the person who sent it isn’t offended and i apologized it offended anyone but i didn’t do shit wrong and i even asked for input in my discord if i should post bc i was scared i was being mean. literally was meant for like the 5 ppl who view my untagged posts i literally do not care what ppl are into and i am not “publicly bashing” anyone.

TLDR: og post was a lighthearted joke and an ask that made me giggle cause of the way it was written, clarified i wasn’t kink shaming and apologized twice in the post. asker is a moot and isn’t hurt and says they understand bc the way they typed it was kinda down bad lmfaoo (which was what i was laughing at) and i’m annoyed bc this person is taking this a little too far and acting like i’m being transphobic and kink shaming when they coulda j dmed me saying it hurt their feelings/has the potential to hurt feelings ! (which i knew and i felt bad typing it and that was very evident in the post but cmon man let me have a lil laugh)

[destinyc1020]

Anon???? cause when did you that. Y’all twist people’s words and make shit up so that you can spew hate 💀 how embarrassing

Twist is right....

Anons jumping to conclusions instead of just asking me to clarify what I meant 🙄😒

BTW, no matter how much money someone has, most ppl like to KEEP money coming in. Don't you??? Lol 🤔

I think ppl forget that most Actors are LITERALLY "unemployed" in btwn their next filming project.

They don't work a 9 - 5 job like most of us do. They do work for a few months, have a little break, and then go to their next project, or wait for smthg else to come in.

Ppl need to remember that.

I'm not worried about Tom and Z. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I'm more worried about the SMALLER actors and writers who are in the union who aren't really famous, and are living paycheck to paycheck. 😔

[1eoness]

IF ANYONE EVER SENDS DEATH THREATS TO YOU CUS U WRITE SMUT AS A MINOR PLEASE DONT EVER EVER LET THEM GET TO YOU ‼️‼️ theyre just a bunch of adult babies who whine over insignificant stuff abt minors writing smut smh smh cant even mind their own businesses, either enjoy and reblog the work or just block 💀

OH AND BTW I LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE THE WAY YOU WRITE SMT HIHIHI the way you write leon is to die for AND THE WHIMPERS???? good lawd i am busting a nut every goddamn time 🫶🤭

HII i was literally eating lunch at my campus and i saw ths so maybe i should address it?

OH AND THANK YOU SO MUCH IM GLAD U ENJOYED IT

i havent gotten any death threats (thankfully), and even if they did i dont rlly.. uhm care LMAO

from my personal belief, i, of course, think that its not right to create nsfw spaces online without any heads up or warnings—thats why there are tags and dni stuff n shit, to provide a barrier (ofc im not trying to defend anything unethical like pedxph1lic content or sexualized gore); that's also why i specifically clarify that i am 17 in any nsfw shit i write—so ppl know whether they can be comfortable 'consuming' my content.

when people older than me(or pr much anyone for that matter) praise, heart or reblog my content it doesnt mean that i, a minor, am being sexualized by them indirectly or directly. it would be different if i myself was the subject being written or filmed erotica of. we are all anonymous citizens of social media, but i make sure ppl understand that i am not comfortable being reached out to for anything outside of tumblr n/sfw leon kennedy content or anyth to the likes of it.

i am 17 going onto 18 and naturally (but ofc depending on diff variables) ppl my age are curious and thats fine as long as we play it safe (thats why things like sex educ exists, which btw isnt always available due to the stigma that sex ed apparently 'jeopardizes the young'.). eventually we need to be presented with the concept of sexuality for our own safety, bit by bit as we enter adulthood. me writing erotica is just a safe way of expression (because lets be real, as much as we wish we couldnt, its our hormones)

i dont think any of my content is harm as long as i establish that my content is not meant to be consumed by them (them being ppl who are under 17 and anyone over 17 uncomfortable w interacting w my stuff or account)

[teenagemilkshakefan]

I am currently on my 4th episode of elite and well..Needless to say I have many opinions. Firstly the amount of new things I got to learn about in relationships is definitely fresh and well it's new so I am gonna need some time to figure out if it's good or bad.

Spoilers ahead!! (proceed with caution) ......

Marina’s death has been pretty shocking to me but tbh I don't like her as a person but that doesn’t mean I wanted her dead lol. She's way too deceptive and feels like goody too shoes. I mean all those ppl her brother, her parents they are just trying to help her and protect her and hey I get the whole teenage rebellious phase thing but this is utter stupidity. It is unfortunate that she got HIV positive and well I do sympathize with her but it feels like she just sort of puts herself in dangerous situations deliberately, I am in no way inferring that being with Samuel is wrong or whatever but nano! seriously?! that guy is a walking criminal and she very well knows it than why for god's sake is she with him..it's so messed up I can't- and also the fact that she's basically two timing samuel who btw is an amazing person overall, i don't know what happens later or anything maybe he killed her but so far I like Samuel as a person he's supportive, and makes good out of a bad situation, assertive and his introduction in class..god that was good stuff but anyways yeah so she's swinging both the guys and honestly fuck nano he says the school doesn't deserve Samuel but actually he doesn't. The one girl his brother genuinely cared about who he told him everything about he had to mess with that particular girl..why!!? and got her pregnant! Comeone.. Overall I hate both nano and marina and love Samuel (opinions might change at the end of s1)

Guzman and Nadia.. I love Nadia.. like literally I wanna be her when I grow up she is awesome so far we have seen her actually stand up to bullies, and even thought her cultural issues came up she still continued her education because she knows that right at this point she needs to be educated in order to make a change in the world. girl clearly knows to pick her fights. and the way she doesn't just let Guzman demean her and slither into her heart but instead makes him grovel for it.. that's gold srsly. Guzman so far is a total douche-bag seriously there are no words. he might be going through some shit but he's definitely not handling it in the best way, although I love that he stands up for his friend Ander and marina( one time so far) but I can't really say I like the guy.

ah yes the throuple so Carla, polo and Christian sure make a hot couple this is pointless to deny, at first there relationship seemed a bit weird I mean voyeurism is a popular kink but it just felt as if the two of them had some trouble..*shrugs* anyways this is my first time seeing a story about a throuple so you can call me an Amateur in that regard but I am not a huge fan of the story it seems a bit odd.. (idk if that's a word that perfectly sums it up but..) Since I am new to this I am very much open to broadening my horizons and see where this goes.

Ander and Omar is meh-.. I love Ander but I feel like Omar is a bit fishy but let's see..(Again opinions may vary at the end) .

lu is getting on my nerves srsly what's up with her. the girl has some major mean girl vibes. Ugh

I am sorry if my assessment of marina was a bit harsh..I guess I am being a little too closely looking at her character or something I mean she is after all only a kid.. just to clarify this is just my opinion that too formed after watching just 4 episodes of elite so I might be very wrong for some characters. Don’t get peevish it’s all in good fun. My motive is absolutely not to offend anybody.

and I just found out that marina and nano are actually a couple in real life because godamn but there's absolutely 0 chemistry between them. It’s like what joey tribbiani said guys..it's true. anyways this was my elite update so far. I think I took every main character if I missed anyone we are going to talk about it as soon as I finish my 1st season till then cheers!

[toonbly]

“[character whos mildly popular] is the next onceler” haha wow you’re so funny damn bro you’ve got the whole squad laughing do you want ur fucking medal bro do you want an award for making fun of ppl for enjoying harmless shit hilarious bro 10/10 heres your tumblr clout bro ur so fuckin funny haha

[11queensupreme11]

My Drunken Dead Yuta Theory 🍾🤪

(This is a theory that I made like… the day after chapter 181 of the manga was released. I originally put in my jjk fic “TSUNAMI”, but decided to copy-paste it here because why not.)

Just to clarify: I WAS NOT COMPLETELY DRUNK WHEN I THOUGHT OF THIS! I was drinking (not that much ofc) and barbecuing with my friends when I had an epiphany: Yuta is possibly Yuji’s foil and therefore, he might die because of it.

(Btw, I literally came to this conclusion when I was pulling at the aluminum foil for the barbecue. Lol, get it, foil? Foil??? no??? ok bye 🥲)

EDIT: In my wattpad/quotev rant, I completely forgot to explain what a foil is, whoops. A literary foil is basically a character that contrasts another character.

Ex: Nanami and Mei Mei. Nanami cares a lot about children and the safety of others and returned to the jujutsu world because he knew he was making a positive impact on ppl. Meanwhile Mei Mei is only concerned about money and doesn’t care much for anyone else’s life but her own. She exploits everyone including her own brother (a child) and pretty much used him as a shield against a powerful curse. They’re opposites of each other.

You can find a more detailed analysis about these two characters being foils over at reddit. Can’t put the link in cuz tumblr’s a meanie about links. 

LEMME EXPLAIN WHAT I MEAN.

First off, look at this Twitter thread I found about jjk chapter 181:

Before Gege created Yuji, Yuta was his original main character. He was created during a time where main characters of shounen animes/mangas all started out super strong or OP—that’s why Yuta was so powerful back in Volume 0 because that was usually how creators made their MCs back then.

Around the time Yuji was created, there was a shift in interests within the shounen genre; people began to find MCs who quickly became OP boring, they became more fond of more developed characters instead. Main characters, like Yuji, had more realistic progress in their abilities rather than starting out special and OP.

And you know another thing that was super common back in the day? Shounens had a thing for using the Power of Friendship and Talk-no-Jutsu to unrealistically settle conflicts. With the Power of Friendship and Talk-no-Jutsu, protagonists and their friends easily defeated the villains and all was good! 🤗

That’s not what Gege’s doing here, as the Twitter thread above had already explained.

In JJK, he’s showing us that corruption (the jujutsu society as a whole) and selfishness (Sukuna, Mei Mei, Zenins, etc) will always win over selflessness and all things good and holy. He’s showing us that being good can be a weakness, it can get you or other people killed, so it’s better to only care about yourself.

Gojo tried to save people in the train station and got trapped. Nanami prioritized the safety of the kids and got killed for it. Meanwhile, you’ve got fucked up characters like Mei Mei (who I think is Nanami’s foil) who gets to live and thrive in her selfishness (after Nanami died, she’s later seen in Malaysia—you know, the place Nanami wanted to visit the most?—because she ran away from Shibuya to save her ass).

I think the reason why Gege brought Yuta back was so he could be Yuji’s opposite. Yuji’s going down a dark path after what happened in Shibuya and I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up prioritizing his life and becoming more selfish.

Then we got Yuta who refuses to believe that you should fight for yourself and chooses to fight for his friends and loved ones. During his fight with Uro, he was constantly trying to Talk-no-Justu her into believing in the ✨Power of Friendship✨ and whatnot 💀💀💀

Girl was literally trying to tell him that that shit won’t work in the real world, but he was like “how dare you insult the Power of Friendship! 😡 *proceeds to beat her up*” BOY PLEASE JUST LET HER SPEAK OMFG 😩

It’s clear to me that Yuta is supposed to represent the stereotypical shounen MC whereas Yuji represents a newer, darker concept of an MC. And we’ve seen how many times Gege’s shown us that the stereotypical shounen shit is unrealistic and is NOT gonna happen in his manga. Because of this, I think that he might have Yuta actually try to fight one of the Big Bads (Kenjaku or maybe Sukuna) and die terribly as a result of it. That would be a VERY obvious message to the readers that the Power of Friendship and Talk-no-Jutsu ain’t gonna work in the world of JJK.

EDIT: omg didn’t Yuta say he was gonna try and gain 400 points and then fight Kenjaku so Gojo wouldn’t have to??? BOY YOU BETTER SIT YOUR ASS DOWN

I HOPE TO GOD THAT I’M WRONG THOUGH!

I don’t want Yuta to die 😭😭😭 I don’t want ANY of them to die, I WANT THEM TO LIVE A HAPPY LIFE WITH A WHOLE NEW REFORMED JUJUTSU SOCIETY WHERE CORRUPTION DOESN’T EXIST AND MAYBE SUKUNA PULLS A KURAMA AND BECOMES GOOD.

But that’s clown shit, I know 😞

JJK is probably gonna have a very sad ending and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it ended with the bad guys winning and the good guys dead 😭

If my theory made any of you guys upset… good :)

It made me upset when I thought of it, so I thought it was only fair to put you guys through this pain too 💖

[with-the-same-tattoos]

Btw ye iv been hangibg out on tiktok a lot this week here is my review:

There is so much judgemental shitty content there im amazed

Theyre still in the man hating t//er//f-adjacent period of their cycle i hope they get out soon

Theres also a lot of cringey thirst posting and I ADORE that I LOVE how unselfconcious some ppl are on there i ADORE IT, its so beautiful

I love seeing thoughts connected to a face, I love it!

Just a lot of those thoughts can be annoying

Also the acting out of thibgs feels rly fucking weird to me

I LOVE it as a creative platform, I love making videos, its so satisfying!!!!

It's also weird to show my face in such an intimate way, and it kinda fucks

My main, MAIN love is the larping/cosplaying side, specifically people being ocs etc, it reminds me of playing dress up as a kid, that is BEAUTIFUL that id a BEAUTIFUL hobby and i WANT TO TAKE PART IN IT SO BAD

So many people get so many mean comments????? I dont get it?????????? Like???????? I havent gotten any mean comments, i got one comment specifically clarifying that it wasn't meant as a negative, but like all the creators i follow have sm mean comments girl how???? Why?????????

I think there is this weird air of sassiness and snarkiness that I just dont like. Its like one of the personalities that like. I like it, but its difficult for me to understand/relate to/etc

I defi have more points but im forgetting

Main point is i do recommend it, but I recommend like very very strictly curating your experience and imo, try to follow more small ppl there who dont rly even create, just share thoughts/life, or dress up like i said, its prolly the most interesting stuff youll find

I love ppl on tumblr sooo much more wr have live slug reaction and i will get back to liveblogging here more but ill defi keep making video content but yeah holy shit

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[turkishdreams]

before i get to giffing this week’s episodes..

i normally don’t do write-ups for baht oyunu or ada masalı but i just had some thoughts that i really wanted out of my head. this got a bit out of hand and became longer than i intended oops 😅 and ofc, beware of spoilers!

so this week’s episodes of both baht oyunu and ada masalı dealt with quite a lot of pain and heartbreak, which really put my shipper heart thru the wringer. but that’s what we get for clowning and investing as much as we do, right? 🤡

i really wanted to give a special shoutout to AM for finally having all the cards on the table. a lot of the times with dizis they tend to drag out the miscommunication and lies to no end, but seeing them confront all the lies and deception in one go was so flippin’ refreshing. not to mention, that scene where haziran and poyraz were locked up in that hotel room and just hashing everything out.. that deserves all 👏 the 👏 awards👏 their acting was so well done, i had tears in my eyes by the end. 

and you know what? i also really appreciate that the writing gives haziran a lot of credit for trying to fix her mistakes and still wanting to stick around as opposed to her moping around and leaving the island out of self-pity, which is what we normally see. even just her locking both of them up in the hotel room just so she could have a chance to present her side of the situation was legendary behaviour, but for her to step out afterwards and claim her mark on this island, knowing she would be ostracized and heckled was the cherry on top. im HERE for this queen shit 👑 they really don’t write female characters like this so i'm just so excited that we’re going somewhere new that i personally haven’t experienced before in diziland.

also, thank god that 🐍 hakan got exposed for the lying cheat that he is as well. i was so worried that he would still get away with all his crimes and just blame it all on haziran, but he also got what was coming for him and i’m just so pumped about that. sure he got away by the end of the episode, but that ass-whooping was SO satisfying.

of course, the next couple episodes are gonna be pretty intense and filled with a lot of pain, but they’ve ripped off the bandaid at this point and now everything just has to settle down and heal. which means they can get back to falling in love without any more hurdles and lies!! what a win, right??? like honestly, as a viewer & fan, i feel respected in a sense bc they’re not wasting our time with any more intricate lies and we’re finally getting down to the bottom of things, we’re not beating around the bush anymore.

which leads me to baht oyunu..

trust me when i say i actually enjoyed this latest episode a lot, purely for the angst. but at some point, the can of worms has to come out, right? and the lies just keep piling up, there’s no end to it. the worst is that SO many ppl are becoming involved, right down to ada’s prof - who’s a real one btw - for not clarifying with bora that ada never graduated.

i hate to compare, but after seeing this week’s ep of AM, it’s hard not to wish for something similar to happen in BO bc as a viewer i’m starting to get confused about who’s in on all the lies and who’s not. as far as i can tell, the major lies seem to be that a) ada’s married - happily and b) ada graduated, but because of these lies, a lot of smaller lies have stemmed like selin being married. 

i know with a show like BO where everything is more light-hearted, we can’t expect the same sort of fallout like poyhaz had in AM but man it would be really cathartic. i just want all cards on the table, i want everything cleared up so that adbor can also move on and fall in love without anything burdening them. with the way the show has been going so far, i really thought they would be switching things up and having a confession earlier on, but i’m starting to think we’re gonna have to wait for it just like every other dizi. i hope to god i’m wrong tho. 

also, if we really think about it, why would bora even be personally affected by these lies? like she basically just lied on her resume and got the job, and is amazing at her job. if bora wasn’t already falling for her, would this really be that big of an issue to him? it shouldn’t matter, right? the most this would be is a breach of contract, a breach of trust, but the longer they drag it out, the more involved he becomes (unnecessarily). she didn’t exactly do him dirty by lying and getting the job, she got the job for her own means, not as a favour to him or anything.

the fragman for next week’s ep doesn’t really make me feel any better, but obviously i’ll still be around, esp to see jealous bora lol. idk, i just feel like it’s really unfair to both ada and bora’s characters to have all this be so dragged out, esp considering how much all this is weighing on ada's conscience and how supportive bora has been this whole time. 

bora continues to surprise me with how he's ALWAYS there for ada and notices the tiniest things about her. he's becoming one of my fav characters in any turkish dizi. which is why im equally as jumpy to see how exactly he would react when all the truths are exposed. i highly doubt he'll be as erratic as poyraz, he'll more likely be very emotional and disappointed. and he's been trying to connect the dots since the beginning instead of being totally blissful so when exactly do we get to see the outcome of that? atp im more impatient than he is for everything to be laid out 😅

all in all, these episodes were still fantastic and we better gear up for more pain coming our way before our mains get the peace and love they deserve 🥲 im gonna get to giffing tonight so if you have any requests pls hit me up (that is if any of you are still reading). also if you like these write-ups, i might do more in the future 😊

also also, im lowkey thinking about making a twitter account so that i can be engaged in the dizi fandoms in a different way and possibly share more of my thoughts, is that something you guys would be interested in seeing or nah?

EDIT: i did end up making a twitter account, check it out @ xturkishdreams if you wanna give it a follow!

as always thanks for the support, until next time 💖