#btw idk how computers work so Im just making this up

[murderbees]

thinking about Tron program bodies again, blood is not enough for me, where are the wires and fans and plates of metal that bend and snap

I have this vague image of an anatomical diagram of a program

Energy Circulatory System - the Blood, also the digestive track bc they don't have food, Mouth to throat tube to processor located center, near the disk port, it processes and then pumps the energy through the lightlines of the body, if a program overclocks themselves enough, they can suffer burnt or even ruptured circuitry

Energy both fuels the program and cools them off, when cooling processes are activated, the energy will be cooled off by nearby venting processes and will then be circulated throughout the body

Venting System - Similar looking to lungs, two fans that sit within the upper chest, one on each side, subtle ducts can open along the sides of a program to release extra heat (they sorta look like gills, ticklish), Most of the cooling is done through this system, Vents work to expell air through the nose, mouth, and additional vents and ducts, some programs have extra vents for their functions (Mechanic need more bc they work in hotter environments)

The Disc Port - connected directly to the morherboard of the program, this is why if programs are hit there, they will derezz, sorta like a brain (head wounds are not fatal), all processors are connected via wires to the board

Processors - part of the motherboard, eyes, ears, nose, tongue, all the senses are split up into different processing units, These usually have a mechanical unit, like eyeballs, that connect to the board with long thin wires, essentially the nervous system, but centered around the disc not the head

Internal Systems - internal sensors and diagnostics that regulate the body, the Endocrine System, Connected to a programs personal display, will update with warnings and display whatever parameters needed about the body

"Bones" - programs don't have bones, but they do have metal tubes that house their more delicate pieces (wires), Some programs (security) have more reinforcement around vulnerable areas, like the throat and chest, with the plating sometimes even being above the skin, Additonal plating can be added to the forearms and calves without much modification, further integrated armor is an arduous process

Derezzing is still a thing, parts of a program will maintain integrity to a point, then they collapse into voxels, Not all pieces will derezz, if that threshold isn't met, the pieces will remain in their form, basically, if you want to fully derezz a program you have to grind them into voxels, otherwise the bones and other stuff are unlikely to derezz until the energy runs completely out (usually a few days, or the Grid equivalent), where they will then turn into a pile of voxels

Voxels and Energy both evaporate, losing their vivid technicolor hues, until they turn a dark soot grey, at this point they disappear leaving a thin dusty film behind, it's hard to clean and slippery

[parasolids]

i am having a genuine core memory type of bad day today like serious SERIOUS things are going down and i missed a flight because genuine life changing events are happening and got put on standby for another which got delayed multiple times til i would’ve missed my connecting flight home and anyways it was overbooked so i didn’t make it on, and then now five hours after they left me at the airport im finally heading home and i was like “well at least i can eat the fries i bought that i didn’t get to eat yesterday” but my useless cousin who has not only been completely useless through this weeks long ordeal but has also been making things worse stepped in and ate the whole giant box of fries cause he “thought we were leaving” even though my mom clearly left half her stuff behind at the house and told him we did not make our flight so she was going to stay in town and try and get me home and also this whole situation (except for the fries) is straight up my fault cause i didn’t wanna get out of bed for 20 minutes when we woke up and like normally this would be fine especially since i went to bed at 2 am packing suitcases and then had to wake up at 7 and also slept super poorly anyways but i still have no self discipline and everything has gone wrong because of that

[0310s]

gently, by your side | jaehyun

members: myung jaehyun x gender neutral reader

genre: college au, angst, comfort, best friends! to ???, more platonic stuff in this one

tags/warnings: extensive discussions of mental health and chronic/mental illness, y/n is not okay. :(

summary: jaehyun finds you after a bad week.

wc: 2.7k

a/n: this fic’s title comes from this lovely song. as someone who’s struggled with both chronic and mental illness, it really takes someone strong and amazing to keep on going, despite everything. most of the dialogue in this comes from my own musings and experiences with mental health. i wrote this for a dear mutual of mine! i hope better days will come for you soon, whenever that may be. meanwhile, i hope this gives you comfort when things are tough! sending lots of love <3 

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

5 days ago 1:28 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

(y/n) we haven’t seen each other in such a loooong time imy :(( i mean i KNOW it’s just been a couple of days since we last hung out but still!!!!!!! when are we seeing each other again !!!! tell me ur schedule QUICK !!!!

4 days ago 6:33 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

heeeeyyyyyyyyy (with the intention to hang out) heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy reply to meeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! tell me when ur free pls i miss u :((

3 days ago 11:58 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

hey i didn’t see u at the party today i thought u said u were going last week!!!  also i asked around and people said they haven’t seen u around recently??? and they don’t know what ur up to

2 days ago 2:05 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

heeeyyyy ?????????? did i do smth?????  or are u just really busy w school and work idk either way pls just let me know :(( i won’t bother u if ur rlllyyy busy

10:35 PM sorry if i’m being annoying btw

Yesterday  11:32 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

ok i thought about it reaaaaaallly hard and i don’t think i’ve done anything to make u mad or upset w me??? well aside from that time last last week that u got mad at me for accidentally messing w ur computer and deleting ur work files WHICH IM LIKE REALLY SORRY FOR but i fixed it!!!!! i thought we were good alrd!!! are u still mad at me 4 that ?

1:00 AM (y/n)?

1:28 AM idk  i thought i was ur best friend :(( did smth change???

2:47 AM pls pls reply :(( i know we can talk this out i don’t want us to not be ok

Today  3:00 PM 🐶 cutie puppy i’m coming over.

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

Sitting up from your bed, your heart thuds in anxiety as you quickly scroll through your chat history with Jaehyun. Your eyes hurt and your brain feels especially foggy, like you’re looking at the world through a particularly cloudy lens. How long did you sleep? The last thing you recall was working on your assignments last night, then choosing to sleep instead when you got overwhelmed. Even then, you slept fitfully. You remember setting an alarm at 9 AM today to continue working, but even as you sat at your desk, you couldn’t type a single sentence on your laptop. Everything felt muddled and it was as if you couldn’t understand anything at all. Even the cups of coffee you drank in desperation was of no use keeping you alert; all it did was make you palpitate.

Then you gave up, went back to bed, and you’re here now. Checking the chat timestamps, you realize you haven’t replied to Jaehyun’s messages in almost a week, which has never happened before—you talk almost everyday, even multiple times a day. Jaehyun’s last message was at 3 PM, when he said he’d come over. One look at your screen shows you it’s already 3:20. If you’ve memorized his schedule right, it takes your best friend thirty minutes to get to your dorm from his Fundamental Maths class. That means you have ten more minutes to get your shit together and clean your mess of a room. 

But right when you’ve mustered the energy to stand up, you hear a series of knocks on your door. That can’t be— “(Y/n), open up, I know you’re in there!” Jaehyun’s voice echoes from outside the door. “I asked your dormmate and she said you haven’t left your room since yesterday, so there’s no use pretending!” Shit, shit, shit! You immediately spring up and hastily fold your blankets and organize your desk, throwing away stray food wrappers and plastic cups. You open your blinds to let some air in, and the bright sunlight makes your head throb even more. 

On your way to the door, you spot yourself in the mirror. There’s no other word for it—you look like utter shit. Your eyebags are dark and prominent, your hair disheveled from tossing and turning in your sleep. You look horrendous, but Jaehyun is persistently knocking on your door, so you have no choice but to fix yourself up as fast as you can. You splash water on your face and smoothen down your hair and open the door—then there’s Jaehyun in all his glory. Your heart clenches seeing him; he looks as handsome as always, his bangs fluffy and soft and his letterman jacket fashionably oversized. He looks nothing like you in your ratty T-shirt with coffee stains and pajama shorts. His hand is halfway raised, positioned to knock at your door (he could and would probably do it all day if he had to). Upon seeing you, he blurts out: “Did I do something?”

Instead of answering him, you open your door wider as an invitation, and Jaehyun takes the hint, stepping into your dorm. Once the door is shut, Jaehyun peers at your messy room and remarks, “Wow. When was the last time you cleaned up? You’re usually not like this.”

You know he didn’t mean it like that, but his comment stings at you all the same. “Sorry, Jaehyun,” you snap, “not everyone can be at 200% energy all the time like you.” At his hurt expression, you backtrack. “Sorry, that was really rude of me.”

“It-It’s fine,” Jaehyun replies confusedly. Then he looks straight at you, eyes pleading. He’s picking at the stray thread hanging from his jacket, a habit you’ve come to known is something he does when he’s nervous. “You know what, I thought about it. For days, really, if I did anything that would make you mad and ignore me. But I couldn’t come up with anything at all. I was really worried when you didn’t reply to me for days on end, especially when we talk everyday. So if I did something, can—can you just tell me? I just want us to be okay.”

Your throat closes up and your heart pounds even faster, making you feel dizzy. You have no idea how to answer him, when all he’s ever seen of you is the perfect student who does everything right, who’s smart and good at what they do without any flaws or exceptions. How would he react if he saw you for who you really were?

The words can’t form in your mouth, and out of frustration at yourself, you tear up. Jaehyun notices this, eyes widening in worry, “(y/n), baby, no, no,” and pulls you into his arms. Almost instantly, the tears cascade down your face and sobs wrack your body. You feel pathetic crying in your best friend’s arms, but Jaehyun just soothes a hand up and down your back as you break down. His other arm is wrapped around your shoulders, and it feels like your anchor when you’re drowning in all your troubles. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he says in a hushed tone, “let it all out.” You grip his jacket even tighter as you bury your face in his chest. 

When was the last time you’ve ever been hugged like this? The last time you’ve ever been truly vulnerable to anyone without that mask of perfection you often don? The last time you felt safe just being yourself? You have no idea. All you know that is in the circle of Jaehyun’s arms, you want to be small and imperfect and yourself just this once.

After your cries die down, Jaehyun clears his throat. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I don’t know what it is I did, but I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

“It’s not you, Jaehyun,” your voice is muffled by both your sniffles and Jaehyun’s chest. You don’t want Jaehyun to get the wrong idea that he’s hurt you in some way because of how broken he sounds thinking he’s done something to make you sad. “It’s just. Me.”

“You? What do you mean?” Jaehyun leads you into your room from the doorway. He’s holding your hand and doesn’t let go even when you both settle at the edge of your bed. His palm is warm and his grip loose enough in case you want to let go; you don’t. While you muster up the courage to speak, your best friend just sits there, waiting patiently. “It’s okay, whatever you say, I’m not going anywhere.” You don’t know that for sure, but him saying that makes you want to be truthful just this once, damn the consequences.

You take a deep breath, focusing on your intertwined fingers. You’re too scared to look at his face because you don’t want to see his reaction. “Jaehyun, what kind of person do you think people see me as?”

“Well…” He takes a moment to think about it. “Someone smart, talented, and who gets stuff done?”

In turn, you let out an resigned exhale. “Well, that’s the image I project. Of someone who’s perfect… someone who does things effortlessly. People think it comes easy to me. But it doesn’t. When people tell me that I didn’t need much effort to get to where I am now, I feel undermined. When I express I’m having a hard time, people brush it off and think I’m just overreacting. Because they think I’m perfect all the time. But honestly…? That’s the farthest thing from the truth."

Glancing up from your hands, you scan your room—your desk is a mess of papers and assignments that you have yet to get to. You can’t tell when the last time you spent time being actually productive when what you’ve been is fatigued out of your mind. When you try to sit at your desk and work, all you feel is difficulty concentrating and processing work and readings. Sleep has also proven to be elusive—no matter how long you lie in bed, you never feel well-rested. Simple actions and decisions require so much energy from you that you undeniably lack. You also constantly compare yourself to others, whom things like these come natural to them. But you’ve kept these feelings of yours secret for a long time—you’re utterly terrified that you’d be undermined for being useless and overly sensitive.   

“(Y/n)?” Jaehyun squeezes your hand, and you turn to meet his eyes. His eyes are sincere and kind. “I-I know I may not be the most empathic person, but I promise I’ll hear you out without judging you. I want to be here for you… and I hope you’ll let me. Please?” 

At this, you spill everything you’ve been feeling the past weeks—months, even—to Jaehyun. You stumble over your words and your breath gets caught in your throat, but he’s there to pat your back and to encourage you to keep going. Without you knowing, tears make their way down your face once again, and Jaehyun uses his other hand to gently brush them away. “It just gets so hard that I want to just. Give everything up. I don’t know what the use of trying so hard is when I see how other people don’t need this much effort to do even the most basic of tasks. It’s just so… unfair.”

When you’re finished with your rant, you don’t know what to expect from Jaehyun—but you’re stunned to see him crying. He’s sniffling and wiping at his eyes furiously. “Why…” You have no idea what he’s about to say, but you brace yourself for the worst. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” he whispers brokenly. “I didn’t know you were having such a difficult time. I feel like such a shitty friend for not even noticing. I’m sorry, (y/n).” Jaehyun’s eyes fill with tears and he starts “I… I thought we were best friends.” The best friends tell each other everything goes unsaid, but you know exactly what he meant.

“I…” You feel awful now for making Jaehyun cry. “You’re just. You just naturally have all this limitless energy. You’re…” Normal. Not like me. “I don’t know how if you were going to take me seriously if I told you what I was going through… There were times I’d see you, and I’d be so disappointed in myself for not being like you. And I was so scared that if I did tell you, I’d be letting you down.”

Jaehyun’s expression grows more miserable at this. “I-I’m sorry, (y/n), I never meant to make you feel unheard. And I never meant for it to feel like you couldn’t tell me about these things.” 

“It-It’s not your fault, Jaehyun,” you protest, but he shakes his head, obviously disappointed in himself.

“No, (y/n), I’m supposed to be your best friend. How stupid can I be if I can’t notice when you’re having a hard time? I didn’t even stop to ask how you’ve been doing because you seemed to be doing fine. But I should’ve known better. I shouldn’t have taken things at face value. I’m such an idiot,” Jaehyun berates himself. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

At his sincere apology, you can’t help but admit it to yourself—you desperately needed Jaehyun’s support as your best friend, but you were too scared to ask for it. And honestly? You felt immensely lonely without his words and presence to comfort you. 

“(Y/n), I hope you know that I see how hard you work. I know your sleepless nights and how much effort you put into every single thing you do. Despite everything you’re going through, you’re always trying to be better than the person you were yesterday, and it’s something I truly admire about you. But I hope you know it’s okay to be imperfect and flawed and to not be okay. I want to be here on your good and bad days. I just wish I could’ve been more vocal about this earlier… I’ve really taken you for granted, huh?” Jaehyun sighs wetly, taking your hand in both of his. He’s still crying; you both are, actually. What a silly pair the two of you make. 

“Thank you for trusting me and sharing all of this. It literally means the world to me,” Jaehyun rambles. “I promise I’ll be a better friend to you, someone you feel safe opening up to about anything, whether that be your achievements or your struggles. And (y/n), if it’s not too much to ask… Could I ask you to be more honest with me in the future?” He stares at you imploringly. “I don’t want you to think you have to go through all of this alone. I want to be here for you the same way you’ve always been there for me… Okay?”

“....Okay. Okay, I’ll try,” you respond softly. “Thank you, Jaehyun. I… I’ve never told anyone about this before. But thank you so much for just listening, and not judging, and accepting me for me…” While you appreciate Jaehyun’s presence at this moment, a new wave of fatigue washes over you with all this emotional vulnerability and talking. “Jaehyun… I’m still feeling really tired, so I might go back to sleep. Sorry, I know you came all the way here to see me, but here I am being shit company,” you apologize regretfully.

“Oh! That’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Jaehyun stands up from your bed to leave. When your fingers slip from each other, you feel an acute loss of warmth—both in your hands and in your heart. He makes his way to the door, slipping on his shoes, and your heart sinks. There’s something you badly want to ask of Jaehyun, but you’re too much of a coward to tell him what you truly want. You don’t want to be on your own right now, but you’d probably be asking too much of him. Accepting your fate, you settle in bed, attempting to take a nap so restless you’re sure will be of no help to your exhaustion.

However, Jaehyun himself stops in the doorway. He turns back around, a distraught look on his face. “(Y/n)... I don’t want to assume, but are you sure you want to be alone right now?” he begins. “I mean, we just had this really heavy talk. Can… Can I keep you company? I promise I’m great at cuddles—that’s what all my other friends say anyway when I annoy them with my hugs.”

When you nod, that’s all it takes for Jaehyun to shuck off his shoes, strip his jacket, and climb into bed with you. With your ear against his steady heartbeat and his comforting arm around you, you’re asleep in no time. It’s the best you’ve ever slept in months.

[mystical-imagine]

ooo ok, im a 19 year old girlie :3 im in second year of game design rn and i love itttt.

< Skills include: shit code, drawing cute girls and hugging robots >

I have a cat and her name is nova (supernova long form cuz she is a superhero who saves the universe >:D ) I have blue eyes, pink hair that I dye frequently but its naturally dark brownnnn. I thrive in chaos and am pretty hyper most of the time. But I'm also really scatterbrained. That, and my various mental health issues like depression and BPD but I don't let it stop me from being happy and cool :)

I used to struggle a lot with mental health but have found a nice balance in life and think positively and optimistically a lot of the time.

In my spare time I like to make sci-fi comics, watch sailor moon (and I've been obsessed with Bee and Puppycat) and be a silly little guy.

This week I built an Arduino game thing for school in a week!! And I bought star lights from Amazon to hang in my dorm room (secretly for blanket forts)

I dont know what else to add here, so I hope this is enough ahh

fank uuuu

hiii, sorry for the long wait!!! and thanks for being patient! i hope you like your matchup!!!

i´d match you with Saeyoung!

Saeyoung would love that you have a love for computers and robots in common and would def. try his best to help you and give tips. those convos would probably often get derailed into how to get away with cyber crime, but ya know, its the thought that counts. also im sorry to everyone but that man is a genius and does not understand how other people learn. he has the patience and would try and gently help you, but he would absolutely suck at explaining anything.

would love to build robots of your game characters once you get to develop games (you might already be doing that, idk much about it and its been awhile since you sent in this ask :)). and would def build robots of your characters in your comics!!

(is supernova named after the book series btw?) would love to help you dye your hair and be part of the process of choosing colours. would help both you and saeran dye your hair haha.

its a good thing you thrive in chaos because that man has been without guidance since like age 14 and has no structure in his life, no proper sleep schedule or good eating habits either. obv. youre not gonna be his mother, youre just going to have to figure out something that works for both of you together!!

Saeran would be diagnosed with some stuff after getting out of mint eye too, and having you around, whos been through the system and sorta knows how it works would be a big reassurance. youd be able to support Saeyoung so well and he you, when you over extend yourself.

your optimism would be such a bright thing for Saeyoung. Saeyoung also tries his best to be optimistic and he also knows how sometimes youre being too optimistic to hide that youre struggling. Hed be able to recognize when your smile is a bit strained and reassure you that its okay to not always be happy and optimistic. no one is , and he and your friends wont tire of you for reaching out for help.

sci-fi is probably Saeyoungs favourite genre! hed never tire of you talking about the universe youve created and the stories within that universe. Bee and puppycat would be right up his alley haha.

knowing saeyoung the moment he discovers your love for blanket forts hed probably build one wayy too big for you to cuddle up together in.

i really hope you like your matchup and once again, sorry for the long wait!

[dirtbag-linecook-kyloren]

okay idk if you've listened to evermore but i cant stop thinking about tis the damn season and dorothea being about kylux, with hux being dorothea and then i get sad lol

IM SO FASCINATED BY OUR DIFFERING KYLUX EVERMORE THOUGHTS OH MY GOD

I’m a folklore girlie at my CORE even tho I’ve been listening since debut so ofc i also love evermore the VIBES!!

(Hold on im saving this as a draft real quick this is worth getting out of bed to use the computer)

So i absolutely see your point about dorothea, but I think i get lost on that a bit because of the high school themes, and at 28 I have so much trouble reading high school aus, they make me feel gross? even college aus are starting to get that way, so I'm mainly writing grad/law school if i play with academia.

(if ur looking through my ao3 bookmarks this doesn't, weirdly, apply to ships i discovered WHILE in high school. thank god, I read so much steter fan fiction when I'm in a particularly foul mood.)

TIS THE DAMN SEASON THO

now that's a got the germination of a fic in me. It hasn't made the list of "actual aus I'm going to write" but it'll get there once I have even a HINT of plot.

I have a big au in my head about champagne problems as the starting song from Hux's POV, where he turns down the proposal of the proper society candidate and then runs away and meets kylo and it's a whirlwind romance?? I love that shit, I swear??

but RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME IS MY BIGGEST FUCKING HUX SONG THO

like imagine a world were they wERE together and then starkiller happened and everything goes to shit and it's over, but KYLO NEVER SAYS ANYTHING and hux iS STILL AT THE REST-AU-RANT

I have cried to this au that exists ONLY IN MY HEAD

REAL HUMAN TEARS ABOUT IT ANON

(It's also on my playlist for the KYlux big bang but in that au it's entirely in kylo's head, and more a statement on his state of mind than the actual plot. THat fic is ONLY GOOD VIBES it's 100k of self indulgence and honestly a shameful amount of smut)

Willow also works for Hux, I feel like? It's an au, obviously, but I'm sure you've all fuckin noticed I only write modern AUs Im an absolute SLUT for them.

I just feel like "They count me out time and time again," and "show me the places were the others gave you scars" are pARTICULARLY good lines for them?

Gold rush is also perfect for any AU were you have Hux feeling self conscious? It's a song that's entirely about not wanting to fall in love, because you think it's not realistic? Like, it's about dreaming how good a love could be and then denying yourself it?

Tolerate it is great for a break up au from Kylo's perspective, absolutely, especially if you make kylo young enough that their age difference is proportional enough to matter, to change the dynamic of their relationship?

This sentence is just an appreciation of no body no crime i'm not using it for a kylux au its just a fuCKING GOOD SONG. Signed, former olive garden employee

Don't get me started on your losing me btw i wILL have a break down.

anyway yes I have mANY THOUGHTS about evermore this is surely both too much and not what you asked for but I hope it was at least enjoyable!!

[yyunari]

omg HAHAH yess epic winter is banger!! im thinking 🤓🤓 that ngl i dont really like that faybelle didn't really "learn"(?) much out of it? like the whole signing a deal without reading. like we can tell she's implied to BE better cus she's in the bff pics in crystal's room at the end but it feels so rushed? in a sense 🤠🤠🤠 like i get she's gonna be a villain eventually but like man come on do my girl some justice 😔😔👎 like when i saw the outfits when i was a wee lil kid i was like THIS IS THE MOST GORGEOUS THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! esp faybelle's and her crystal wings i need to kiss whoever thought of that that was GENIUS 🤯🤯🤩🤩

ok yes but it feel like jackie frost and northwind's takeover of the snow kingdom was ALSO rushed like the ppl were fs like "OH HECK WE HAVE NO MORE TIME EVERYONE GOGOGO LET GOOD WIN ASAP" like they were annoying but like not omg i NEED to punch them annoying ykwim AKKDLWG maybe it's just me LOL but yes way too wonderland is super banger too!!

esp that scene where raven returned the pages to each chara HELLOOOO that was so tear jerking i may or may not have shed a tear esp after apple's character development!! in the whole do you wonder song where they all got pretty wonderlanderful outfits idk maybe it's bc im just pessimistic but if i was darling and i didnt have a whole transformation with them and ended up in a tree and woke up only when they left idk how 15yo me would have took it LMAOO 😭😭😭 defo not well tbh i would have CRIED but darling is so cool i love her aaaaa (can she save me too i mean WHAT)

oh lord i lost the plot BUT yeah i fr thought eah was super super popular too but i guess not?? maybe bc we were young so we didn't know. also i can get why people find apple annoying but most of them don't talk about/see her development like ok it's not the best and she can grow more but her change and how much she grew is amazing esp for a 15-17y.o. like i just KNOW the same people who hate her are the same people who complain about characters who have no flaws like ???? how do u hate development but also hate no development can u pick a struggle 😭😭🤠🤠

but yes i did wanted to ask on ur opinion on the characters (like apple) too. maybe i should make a 20(?) questions thing for eah bc my brain is WORKING 😃👍 i agree that eah had so much potential esp for all the characters' development!! and also!! omg which dolls do u have :O

also girl (is this gendered term ok with u btw, bc i can stick with slayer if not!) did u leave ur computer on bc i slept at 5:30am (for me) and it's almost 3pm now and u are still online HELP 😭⁉️ and yes i DID sleep ok (lol <3 hrs gang wya) THIS GOT SO LONG LMFAO I THINK ITS GONNA BE SPLIT NAURRR (update it's not somehow :O) istg i NEED eah to come back apparently the last activity/media/wtv of it was back in 2018 can mattel use all the barbie profits to fund a reboot PLSSS 😔😔

but i would like to say thank u for returning the energy and answering everything om 😭😭🩵🩵 ive always struggled w that growing up woop so it feels weird but amazing owo (i didnt answer about niki Lol looking forward to the fic and the references!!also common niki L (affectionate) hehe 🥰🥰

yesss i completely get what ur saying i feel like towards the end of the series they definitely rushed some things but it still slapped🙏🙏🙏 THE OUTFITS WERE ALWAYS AMAZINGGG like for literally everything they somehow managed to make every character wear a drop dead gorgeous outfit like even to this day i want to steal all of their wardrobes🤓 faybelle was too queen for everyone to handle but no one’s ready for that 🫡

omfg and rosabella and daring😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 that shit was crazy to me when i was younger LMFAOOO esp since i was so apple and daring

SPEAKINF OF APPLE im so glad u brought her up because I COMPLETELY AGREE😭😭😭 i literally love apple so much and it pisses me off that people only pay attention to the side of her that’s pushy and stuff and don’t ever talk about her development like?? the thing about apple that most people don’t realize is that she never tried to hurt her friends and that she always only cared about raven, like she pushed raven to follow her destiny because she was worried that raven was going to poof and she didn’t want to see her friend disappear ☝️ and during true hearts day when ashlynn and hunter revealed they were dating apple was confused about it at first but she was willing to push aside all her previous biases against royals and rebels dating to try to understand ashlynn because she CARES about her 😔😔😔 it’s so sad to me that people only pay attention to the annoying side of apple and not the side of her that cares about her friends and is genuinely looking out for them ughhhh i love her sm her character development is so good

that 20 questions thing sounds so fun LOL u should definitely do it🙏 in terms of characters, my top three is ashlynn, cupid, and apple i love them sm☝️☝️☝️ my main character opinion is that apple isn’t the villain that most people make her out to be but this is random but i wish the creators made hunter huntsman hotter LMAOOOO cus i’ve never really found him attarcttive, i like his character and he’s good for ashlynn butttt at the same time ashlynn is really pretty and he’s kind of mid in terms of looks… but he’s nice😋

the dolls i had were all they in their regular outfits, i think it was apple, raven, maddie, and possibly blondie? i cant really remember if i had any more or not but those were the dolls i can think of, i also had other eah branded things because i was literally sooo obsessed like i had a diary that was rebel on one side and royal on the other, and it played the theme song but i lost it😭😭😭😭

yess girl ok with me since i do identify myself as female🙏🙏 i think tumblr just always says i’m active since it’s on my phone LOL idk discord does the same thing for some reason😵‍💫 and i’m glad u slept well!! istg eah needs to come back or i’ll cry😢 if they come back they should do a live action and i will literally audition to be ashlynn🙏🙏 idc that she’s supposed to be white i’ll be the first asian ashlynn 😜😜

and omg im glad i always try to answer everything when i’m having a conversation with people because i know what it feels like for things to be ignored and i hated that feeling so🙏 but yes look forward to the fic bc i literally finished it today WOO WOO it’s all coming together😍😍😍☝️

[nardonotes]

8 oct '24

6:49pm

i forgot to write last night.. ok i didn't but then i did. i was so restless last night y'all you have no idea... i was literally like tossing and turning. i even turned my tv off and tried to go to bed because i was so tired but i couldnt sleep!!!! ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽ dear god, please help me. but i didnt even do anything interesting- i literally just went to class and then the second i got home i was too fucking tired to do jack shit.

and then today i woke up at 7am out of nowhere then BOOM. I FELL ASLEEP UNTIL AFTER MY FIRST DOUBLE CLASS WAS DONE. i had like 15 minutes to make it to my last double class (tuesdays are chill for me sorta kinda) and you know what i could have easily just stayed home today but i pushed through!!!! i fucking PUSHED THROUGH MUDAFUCKAS!!!!!! ૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა..!! AND IM GONNA KEEP PUSHING THROUGH BECAUSE lemme stop yelling first of all,, because im literally up to date with my work now. like fully i am up to date with my work because i try not to procrastinate. god bless america! nothing and nobody to distract me,, keep pushing so i forget that seasonal depression is crawling at the back of my neck and probably the reason why i've been so restless and sleepless and my insomnia is acting up rlly bad again. ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ )

BUT WE MOVE.

anyways,, after class- i went to get a haircut and it's literally just shorter like there's nothing new with it. i'm probably going to bleach it and dye it this week (same colour because i am not ready to go back to black for a really really long time. idgaf if my hair is brittle and fried. i am NOT READY!!!) ( ◉ _ ◉)

i just finished doing some work for college and im so glad i got stuff done! hehe... like wait..... college kinda really fun when you're on time for shit and u mind ur own business and u dont go drinking and skip class and do drugs and ur getting shit done and you're actually lookin into how this will benefit you in the future waittt.............,,.,,.

tomorrow i have a long day of classes back to back,, but it's ok because i really like one of my classes and my lecturer is soooo sweet and nice and she talks and talks and i like that because i like to talk and she let's me yap too idk also the lab room is so cosy, i actually might bring my macbook because i am so SICK OF THE COMPUTERS THERE..... anyways.

im going to lay in bed and marinate and read and probably beat my meat idk shit i feel free!!!!

btw: it's been so on and off with the weather here i kind of love hate it. cause why is it windy and raining in the morning then by 2pm it's beaming and feels like the last day of spring?? shit make me mad cause im tryna dress for autumn only. like let's cut to the chase bruh lemme wear my fucking beanie.

song of the day: Good Morning by Kanye West ヾ(｡✪ω✪｡)ｼ i miss u my king.... come back home kimberly........

[bronzebtch]

nervous energy ft. personal issues (warning: long af) under read. but really im fine! just nervous <3333

so actually. for those who dont know, i'm 25 right? and im asian. there is some cultural context in there but im not gonna elaborate. but like, in december 2022, i was on this job — i was an assistant producer for a documentary company — and i... long story short: i really did love the people we interviewed, the places we've been, and the crew i was working with. but at the same time, the very person who was from my company (cause we outsourced most of our crew) really.... sorta really did me wrong. and ah!! im crying again writing this a little haha. but like, what i got away after quitting the job was that i was .... just this horrible fucking co-worker.

and the thing is, i know i did good. i know i did the best i could with what's given. like i was on my ass everyday arranging the people / the places we're meeting (bc we're dealing with a lot of academics and historians and museum curators etc), making sure the documents are settled and prepared, and having to be on top of the crews' general health whilst making sure we were wrapping on time so we can get to our next location. like!!! i really wanna believe i did well. but i also know i made some mistakes bc the miscommunication between me and my co-worker was so, so bad. and it just.... it left me so scarred.

and i kept thinking, you know. it's me. if i wasn't such a bitch, maybe this wouldn't have happened. but i also know logically its just honestly horrible miscommunication, and it was both our first experience on a back-to-back travelling documentary (hes like,,, 35+ male btw). and my co-worker and i did sit down and talked it through, but i still.... i left that meeting for some reason, like. not the same. like idk how to say it. i got home, and i had one of the most awful breakdown i've ever had. (like, to the point i got nervous trying to pick out a shirt to wear bc i didnt know how to dress myself.)

long story short, ever since i quit my job (ive been unemployed since jan 2023), i have not touched my computer for almost two months. i was so genuinely scared of it. making rhea in late february i think was like, the first courage i had to open up my laptop, and i'm so happy i did, and i'm so happy the friends i did gather here were welcoming as hell. you guys will have no idea how much everyday you guys encouraged me to do something else besides just.. mourning for my fate. i got motivation again to create because i'm writing with many of you. but the thing is... i've been trying to apply for jobs but i cannot do it. i can't. i can't open my email. i can't open my whatsapp. it terrifies me!!! and i don't know what to do, because i want to have a job, i want to keep moving forward, i don't want to always be afraid, but i am!!!!! i am!!! and im so sick of it!!!!

i want my parents to be proud of me again!!!! i had so much potential and i was so smart and i was so bright, i graduated with honours and 3.8 CGPA, and now what am i!!!! im none of those things!!!!! i feel like all i am are my mistakes!!!! and im so frustrated!!!!! and i want to get my shit together so i can provide for my sister and i can go out and eat with my friends!!!! but my god, even waking up sometimes is so, so hard. anyways .... i know this is long, but - if you're wondering why i'm slow atm, this is why! bc im rlly hoping i'll get a job by april :(( i'm okay though. i just. i need to let this out somewhere.

thank u for reading. rant is over :')

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

Oooh is it a typewriter that does the DING! every time you go to a new line? Because I love that, but I could never use it myself, too distracting.

———————————————————————

Okay so the easy answer for how I write is pen and paper, but I have a long answer for you because why not.

My first/second drafts (take the word “draft” loosely btw) are nearly always on paper. Usually I write out my idea for a scene first in pen (mostly in [brackets] like you said you do, with specific lines of dialogue I want to hit), tab it (orange or yellow usually, depending on how much work is to be done [I have a whole system 💀]) and there’s my first draft. For my second draft I write it out longhand (again in pen) getting in as much of the final detail as I can. Usually I have the first draft in one notebook and write out the second in another—sometimes, if I’m feeling really inspired, I write it out without having to do that first rough sketch of a first draft. These always end up being a lot cleaner (somehow), so it’s what I aim for if I can. I tag these pink once they’re done.

[I have 5?? Notebooks for BDOR, another 2 for my Nano this year (neither full (sigh)), and another for random few for random ideas (that has also been slowly consumed by Linked Universe XD). Gimme a minute and I’ll send a picture lol]

3rd draft! Digitize! There are some apps I’ve seen that claim to be able to take a picture of your handwritten stuff and digitize, but I have not found one for my awful mix of cursive and print, so I just type it all again. I specifically use the app Danger Notes for this so I don’t try to edit and get hung up. Once the whole thing is down, only then do I go back through the document. Here is where I (briefly) look for spelling errors, tense errors, typos, etc. If there are any brackets left at this point (such as you use them, @needfantasticstories ), I flesh them out here, and if there are any big changes I want to make, I do so here as well. This step has helped with my typing speed tremendously over the years XD.

4th draft! I cut each chapter into 200-300 word bits (usually following specific character interactions, descriptions, general vibes) and put them into their own separate pages documents (I have 250 some at my last count for BDOR). I put this nifty little thing \/\/\/

———————————————————————

which I have saved on my phone and computer as /line underneath those words and completely rewrite. I copy and paste what I have exactly as I want it to be, edit what I don’t, until everything is under the line. This edit focuses more on style.

5th draft! Once all those little pieces are rewritten how I want them to be, I take them all into one pages document! Then I reread and make sure that every bit I isolated actually makes sense in context, again look for typos, etc. Basically finalize the chapter as a whole.

6th draft! Paste it into my final document (splitting between arc 1 and arc 2) (im on pages rn but I may switch to google docs, it’s so much more convenient) and then reread again and go analyze with my idiotically complicated detail/subplot tracker document. Skip, you’ve already seen this monstrosity, but if anyone else wants to see it too let me know XD, it does contain slight spoilers. Whatever things I find that I want to add or edit from that document I change, and then whoop de doo we’re done!

Idk, it’s what I like to do. I realize it’s a bit backwards (going little details to large instead of vise versa on editing leaves me open to dumb typos or having to trash work I’ve put a lot of effort into after I realize it doesn’t fit) but it works for me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Through what medium do you primarily write? (Pencil, computer, voice to type, old timer typewriter, what?)

I do have a typewriter, but I have no idea how it works. Got it cheap at a yard sale.

I use Google Docs. I turn the page black and write in white text, put individual ideas in brackets, add mood pictures, and go. I’m comfortable with the formatting options, and it’s faster than Word for me. Plus, if I lose my hands or something I can always dictate into it.

How about you?

[dawnleaf37]

oh god I haven’t even thought abt the lore. well there’s mecrosoft paper, suitcase, test tube, feathry, and silver spoon but I didnt really have an idea for him so. im saying ss is non canon. and then later we added gray and moon who don’t have designs yet

paper is like clippy and really clingy. I think he’s also a bit of mischievous spyware, just a silly little guy Knowing about you and your computer. despite me drawing suitcase first, paper was the first guy created. paper pops up randomly with his tips n stuff and then disappears of the screen to who knows where lol. he’s differentiated from ii paper in that he almost always has a static smile on his face and also the pink line on him is now black.

suitcase is a wonderful file organizer and works good with storage. like paper, she randomly pops up with tips and tricks about computer tech and fun facts. she usually stays on screen if there’s at least one application open. suitcase ISNT spyware however 🎉. iirc shes abt to be discontinued for a newer os (you can still archive the download site tho). difference from regular suitcase she is a flat fuck and also can float. more expressive than the other guys too!

test tube I havent talked abt too much. most recent product and is also an organizer. as well as helps run applications. they say tt makes the computer run faster but they are 8000% lying. made to replace suitcase and paper on newer operating systems but uhhh glitchy as hell not working >:(. they brought back using these guys as spyware and even adware. horrible. tt always has a clipboard and again mostly a static smiling face. silly idle animations. comes on every os and there’s youtube videos on how to uninstall her /silly

mecrosoft is a shitty company so since tt creates adware, they advertised feathry as an ad remover. and she works!!! mostly!!! theyve still gotta make money n shit so she doesnt work all the way. just enough. shes also a paid subscription so mecrosoft you bitch as. feathry has a green marker but she doesnt even scribble out ads it’s just there for appeal. but if you buy now you get a silly creature on your computer!!!!!!!! please

mecrosoft gray wasn’t really ever supposed to exist tbh lol!! they were trying to make mini helper things for each application but none of the guys ever worked except gray’s and they couldn’t figure out why. the real reason is because well! gray is the reason. fucked up little computer creature demands ten thousand attention forever and started deleting code for the other guys while they were testing. and then they just kinda forgot to take gray off of the os because no one ever uses the calculator tool. gray even buggier than metube because he just always gives the wrong answer or just some non existent unit of measurement. little fucked up thing. sentient creature. invasive species. probably a bad idea. might even give your computer a virus? idk it seems to be quite good at modifying code /silly

lore lore lore: copy of mepaper started bugging out on an old computer and the guy using it was like “hmm this is some really creepypasta shit.” idm if you wanna make that guy OJ ig that’d be cool I never really decided (I think ill just say OJ here to make it easier) but mepaper eventually became sentient and became friends with him. but OJ can’t really do work on it now so he bought another one off of like craigslist or whatever. came installed with mesuitcase. mepaper saw that n was like “what the hell dude.” keep in mind this guy(mepaper) doesnt have a voice so hes just speaking thru text boxes lol. so what mepaper did was fuck up the mecase computer with like some really bad virus but somehow mecase survived that. barely. so OJ was like “fucks sake dude” and ig mepaper felt bad so he tried to apologize. but OJ wouldn’t let them near each other so they kinda just yelled from across the house when he wasn’t home. mecase has a voice btw uh it’s not the best quality but she has it. so they made up and theyre cool now.

I haven’t thought abt anything with metube or mefeathry yet so youll have to wait for that 🎉

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

hey, you've talked somewhat about your dealings with chronic pain and i was just wondering what are some ways that you make it better?? idk if that makes sense but just ways to cope with the pain. there are a lot of different types of chronic pain but just anything that helps you. i want to write and type so bad but my hands hurt lol, any advice?

Hi nonny I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time with your hands right now, and balancing that with the need to be creative is a struggle i relate to a lot ><

i know you asked after my experiences specifically but i do want to emphasize they are as such for a reason, so the context is important to keep in mind. please be careful of what you try!! i'm not a doctor, and if you can, i do think its important that you see one who can give you help thats bespoke to your condition.

but i do think theres some things that are general enough that i can offer. off the top of my head, i also really wanna emphasize trying out voice to text programs to see if they work for you!!!

im not gonna put this under a cut btw no need to make you click anything extra

first - youre probably not gonna like it very much but you need to rest your hands.

pain is our bodies way of telling us to stop, and its important that we listen to that information and respect it to keep us from doing more harm to ourselves! be patient. pushing it too soon means its gonna take longer to get back into creating. it sucks, i know, but its the sad truth.

this means staying away from holding things, especially heavier things like a phone, big cups, handling heavy groceries, etc. mobile phones are very important to stay from as much as possible, not just because they can be heavy, but the way we hold them is ususally not good for our hands, wrists, elbows, or necks anyway.

if you do need to handle your mobile phone, place it on a surface. hold it yourself as little as possible!

if your mobile phone or mobile device is all you have, it might be worth investing in holders, external keyboards, and wireless mice, if you think this is long term for you. the reason i invested in a computer is 100% for this reason. i just cant do phones very well anymore.

this can also mean trying to avoid things that require fine motor control like twist off caps, writing with a pen, doing up buttons, tying shoe laces, etc. i also try to stay away from skinny objects that require me to flex my hand tighter is harder on me also. if you trusy someone enough, even ask someone else to brush your hair for you.

when my hands are bad, i switch to using my cutlery in a baby grip instead of the way i was taught for 'manners'. Holding my fingers that way, especially while holding an object, strains my ligaments, joints, etc.

if you have problems with your hands a lot, buying thick handled cutlery like this kiddo is holding wouldn't be a bad idea! thats one thats on my to do list. theres lots of equipment out there thats made for troubled hands, its definitely worth looking into. hell, even straws for drinking are mucho valuable! same with paper plates and plastic cutlery that are lighter. make things easy for yourself wherever you can if you can.

second - ergonomics.

ergonomics are SO IMPORTANT. again, how we hold our hands can contribute a lot to injury and reinjury, which means its important to be mindful of that.

a lot of this is gonna be computer centric but i'd still suggest at least reading the links if you dont have one.

my biggest problem area is technically my wrists, so i need to pay special care to them in particular. because im on the computer a lot, this means creating a keyboard and mouse set up thats as supportive to healthy arm/wrist/hand posture as possible.

if youre up to it id suggest reading this link -> https://ergonomictrends.com/proper-ergonomic-typing-posture-at-computer/

and this link -> https://creakyjoints.org/living-with-arthritis/text-type-less-pain-arthritis/

not everything in here is applicable to me but i found the pencil test in particular very helpful! please be careful of the stretches in here - if youre already injured it does NOT take a lot to make it worse.

now, it can be easy to think an ergonomic computing setup costs a lot of money, cus capitalism is a tricky bitch, but things like stuffed animals , ice packs, and shifting tables around has helped me to get an ergonomic set up.

also, id worry less about screening for typos, capitalization, etc, in general. on a keyboard capitalization requires flexing the hand. if youre in a state, give yourself permission not to bother, and typos on tumblr dot com fit right in.

THAT SAID, thats in regards to typing specifivally. while helpful, i do find theyre a bit less helpful with my mouse.

that said

four - the mouse.

the mouse is actually the easiest part of computing for me personally. theres lots of ways that it can be used that i can effectively manage my pain - switching hands, using different parts of my hand, different positions, etc. that said i think if theres anything ergonomic worth buying, itd probably be an ergonomic mouse.

now im not sure what your set up is but on windows computers in the start menu theres a list of tools under ease of access

i use the on screen keyboard to do my typing because im voice-shy lol uwuw

BUT and this could also be mega valuable if you only have a phone

you can use voice to text to write

This is an option thats possible on mobile and desktop devices, and tbh if youre having hand pain, dont mind speaking out loud, but still want to write i'd really suggest this!!! it would allow you to rest your hands so they can heal while still getting out those creative energies so you can balance your emotional well being too.

alright, now...

this is the part i feel would need the most disclaimers, and would suggest that if you do this you ask for help, be they from your pharmacy, from other people who share your specific condition, or if possible a doctor.

It's basically the rest of RICE, plus some, but its easy to do more damage with them, so take care.

-> Elevate. Depending on the kind of injury, elevation can take the stress off and improve blood circulation to the area so it heals better.

-> ice/heat. this one is very easy to fuck up so be careful but switching between ice and heat can help relieve pain and speed up healing a smidge, depending on your condition. Ice works better for me because mine is an inflammatory disease and heat draws in blood to the area - this is how it helps progress healing iirc but also means extra inflammation. cold does the opposite so thats my preference.

-> compression and stability. wrist braces can help keep your hands supported while they heal, compression gloves are another one thats good for. well a lot of things but specifically circulatory issues that can mean pain. These NEED to be fitted for best results so if you can't get any customized to you talk to a pharmacist - most drugs stores will have these in stock. also they look cool >) a brace is not the same as a compression glove so keep an eye out! its easy to make mistakes when we're in pain. be kind to yourself.

-> over the counter pain medications. again, ask your pharmacist. which ones you can or can't take will be dependant on you. these can include topicals btw!! I don't use topicals because I have cats i don't want to poison, but my mom does. we have the same condition and she found that warming creams with CBD in them were especially beneficial for her hand pain. if you don't mind shelling out money and there's a Chinese medicine practitioner in your area, my mom has also had a TON of success with our local one's topicals and acupuncture. But again, this is usually a pretty expensive option, and rightfully so imo.

i personally found these fuckers to be very helpful, but i can't take them anymore because they interact another med i'm on now. but again this sort of thing is something to be careful with, especially if you're worried about your liver or kidneys or stomach lining. if you need to, don't be shy about getting someone else to open this for you. even at the store if you have to go by yourself!!!

-> i try to be careful of what i eat. if you struggle with this, please, please be mindful of not triggering yourself, and just skip to the next point.

that said, some foods do seem to aggravate or even trigger inflammation. while i cant afford to stick to an anti-inflammatory diet, I can be mindful of moderating things like my sugar and alcohol intake. a little treat is fine once in a while but i do try to shop with a preference for products that are under 15% of sugar/serving, or find products with stevia in them. for some reason aspartame seems to increase my pain levels.

also try to drink a lot of water. its hard to heal when we're dehydrated! if you can, use a straw so you dont have to hold your cup!!

five - again, try to get as much rest as you can.

if youre in a significant amount of pain, which it sounds like you are, the sleep you're getting probably isn't very restful, and your body and mind are going to have a lower threshhold for exhaustion anyway because

pain is tiring. straight up, it's exhausting. this also means your mood is probably gonna take a fuck of a hit if you're anything like me, and if you have a mental illness and/or are neurodivergent you might have a little more trouble with self management for a bit, so play close attention and baby yourself as much as possible. use your skills. if you need help finding some i do have some uploaded on my tumblr under the tag

'mental health resources'

so above all, i reiterate, whenever possible, give yourself permission to just do nothing. veg the fuck out. be patient, and seek out things you can still enjoy.

six - that said, do try to keep moving at least a little bit.

it can be possible to guard body parts over much and lead to more injuries with over compensating or if the area becomes 'locked'. it can also just mean that we need to build up our strength again. once you or your doctor or pharmacist even thinks its safe, try little itty bitty stretches. test and challenge your range of motion. this is why i'm so aggro about drawing when i can lmao but DON'T push it.

seven - self compassion meditations.

i thought these were hoaky until i did them in a therapy group and now im hooked LOL

now, which meditations i use when im in pain are...i need to be picky about them. grounding meditations in particular really seem to bring my pain top of mind and make it worse. but self compassion meditations are ones i've found some success with, and these are applicable to mental illness as well.

here's 2 ive gone thru and i think theyre decent

the above does need your hands but i found this one in particular to be very effective for my pain actually. PLEASE modify the instructions as you see fit to care for your pain!!

At the end of the day though the thing that's helped me most was getting treatment for my condition and following it as close as possible.

i'm wishing you luck and compassion and patience nonny. sending you strength. please find as many reasons to make every moment as enjoyable as possible - listening to music, watching your favourite show, snuggles - anything that lifts you up spiritually and emotionally and mentally that you can. feel your feelings, but give yourself enrichment so the next minute, hour, tonight, tomorrow, day after, next week, next month, is something you can still look forward to.

hope you feel better soon.

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

my jackie! lore rundown under the cut: 

25-30, trans male (he him), queer, 5’9”

i LOVE HIM

uhhh canon comparisons! there are basically none haha, hes sooo different from jackieboy man. like hes not even a superhero

i mean theres SOME comparisons to the superhero story, its just different.

jackie was born with a backstory, that being somewhat of a simple one. he had a mom and dad and grew up somewhat poor in the outskirts of new york (spiderman reference LOL). he was a rowdy kid but always very kind. he came out as trans when he was 14, and his parents were generally pretty supportive. but, jackies dad ended up passing away from cancer a year later. and jackie was, of course completely heartbroken. but grief wasn’t the only thing he ended up dealing with.

that big event in his life triggered something in his head. now, idk if any of yall remember the Cool Patrol video ninja sex party released some years back, but it basically plays out in a similar way in my canon. jackie is approached by a group of people; danny, bryan, and the other members of the patrol, and convince him that he’s a super hero destined to save the world. and jackie was obviously confused at first, but he believed them wholeheartedly and started doing uhhh “superhero stuff”, aka being very reckless. basically, he ended up missing for a few days, and when the cops found him, he was hours away from home in an abandoned trainyard trying to fight a demon. when he was hospitalized, he finally got diagnosed with Schizophrenia.

so yeah. he spent a lot of his late teens in and out of hospitals, getting stable, and when he was old enough, he started transitioning! and thats really where we “left off” when jackie was “created” and brought into the story.

so besides his schizophrenia, jackie is, without a doubt, the sweetest ego out of everyone. hes literally sooo nice. almost too nice at times, but he just has so much love to give, man. every ego that Jack created, jackie fell in love and wanted to protect and care for them. even though he isn’t actually a superhero with superpowers, it doesn’t make him any less of a hero to characters like Chase, when he puts aside his own needs to make sure other egos are safe and taken care of, especially when anti comes into the picture.

now you may be noticing how im drawing this guy. which is Emo. this man is an emo motherfucker. he loooooves emo culture and really holds onto those early 2000’s for comfort, and its just sorta ingrained in his personality. yes, he loves my chemical romance, and yes he wears a gir hoodie, and yes, he wears band bracelets and sometimes does some eyeliner. and he is VALID

as for his hobbies, he likes doing stuff with computers, playing video games, working out (hes a beefy boy btw, despite having a naturally thin build), and hanging out with chase, who, ill discuss later, is like his best friend in the ENTIRE world.

im still messing around with specifics of the “story,” but i like to think hes the one who hunted down jameson and rescued him from anti. jackie’s actually very smart, and because of his background with technology, he became something of a demon hunter and tracked down anti.

overall, jackie is essential to the plot of my ego lore, or at least the little plot there is, which is why he comes next after jameson in relevance. i really dont know what the other egos would do without him. hes kind, hes funny, hes strong, hes battling a serious psychiatric disorder, and he would die for his friends. and really, thats all thats important when talking about jackie.

[stinkrascal]

straight up have been on simblr since like 2018/2017 and have never once sent a wcif even if they are wciff bc it feels so wrong and rude. like the amount of work that goes into opening ur whole game and sometimes other software, then finding the dl link to spoon feed it to some faceless, nameless person who didnt even say hi or please to u is ridiculous. so many of the wcif asks ive seen give me "have never worked retail, maybe have never talked to another person ever" vibes like the entitlement is insane.

ugh i KNOW listen when i used to accept wcifs people would be nice sometimes, but a LOT of the times itd literally just be some rando like "wcif all the cc in ur most recent post" without any hint as to what post theyre talking about and without saying please or thank you or anything like u guys do realize there are PEOPLE behind the computer screens right... like we arent just content-churning machines we're people with lives and responsibilities and obligations like fhriogjersypoejrtgoi IDK its so weird how people feel entitled to wcifs!! imo it isnt hard to find cc either like just describe how the cc looks in google and 9/10 youll find it idk... as someone whose mods folder is at a comfortable 120gb with 70gb ALONE being build/buy cc the mere idea of attempting to answer a wcif fills me with dread..... and it doesnt matter if i have all the free time in the world which i do btw lmao it literally doesnt matter how busy or free someone is, if they dont want to answer it they dont have to!!!!!! UGH i could talk about this forever it just makes me so mad, i still cannot believe some anon told someone on simblr "you probably don't have a fulltime job so why can't you just answer the wcifs and stop complaining about it" like full offense but go choke <3

HAHAHA im sorry for MY ranting, congrats on being blasted i wish that was me <3 but thank you so so much, this is really sweet!! ty for the sweetness!! i hope youre having a great day as well <3

[lucky-draws]

UM ok thinking out loud here abt mgs pokemon au and it's going to be a long thought so computer insert a read more please.

i was doodling a vaguely bosselot pkmn thing (sorry) and then i got to thinking about like. so in this au big boss is a gym leader but i guess it then could also make sense if the cobras are gym leaders too.......the sorrow = ghost types, the pain = um. bees. just bees. no i guess he could be sort of grass/flying types like the bee pokemons are. the fear = poison and/or bug bc he needs to have some spider pokemon. the fury = fire (fire and... space types? space related pokemon. solrock. clefairy the fuckin moon aliens.idk). or just lots of angry fire types. the end = flying? bird pokemon (parrot). (maybe they all wear mini pokemon sized ghillie suits.)

the boss would either be the last gym leader you visit or she'd be like one of the elite four or the champion... i guess she'd have some fighting types and also rapidash because horse. i imagine that bb is like a hoenn region gym leader bc hoenn and the hoenn gen feel quite jungly and grassy idk.

to be honest it's a bit of a headache to genuinely make this au work i think it's best left as very floaty don't-think-about-the-details-too-much kind of thing but yeah. there's no venom snake that's for sure like if cypher are like the typical world-domination pokemon villain team then you would have real big boss and mgsv era ocelot and kaz teaming up to fight against them etc. (btw in the 90s kaz becomes a pokemon dojo instructor and then eventually retires and lives epicly ever after.)

how solid snake fits into this don't ask me. maybe he's big boss' real son and bb is just a hot single father etcetera (he has to be single otherwise my smexy bosselots can't fall in love- [gunshots]) or maybe if we really want to add some angst then cypher can indeed clone him from bb in order to make a perfect pkmn trainer or whatever.

but no i think liquid and solid are just his normal rowdy sons who grow up hanging around in his gym watching him battle etc. (maybe eva is their mom but it didn't work out bc she prefers to not be tied down and needs to go riding her motorbike and adventuring etc. well actually there are fanfics out there with this kind of set up i am pretty sure LOL whoops.) eva could be a gym leader too (or occasional gym leader bc she's off travelling a lot) i already drew her as having a krokorok at one point so maybe her type could be ground/rock? that's pretty cool.

and also i guess in the solid saga side of things otacon is like the childhood friend nerd next door. snavid goes on his filling the pokedex adventure and otacon is like there to upgrade his pokedex and other gadgets. it's hurting my brain now thinking about whether otacons story would be similar or if huey doesn't exist and strangelove is just his mom.... strangelove + the boss could be his two epic moms of course but that causes the old conundrum of. if ocelot is son of the boss via the sorrow then that makes him otacons brother but that can't be correct. because ocelot is dating big boss (no, he really is) and big boss is solids father. so it means solid would be friends with otacon aka his father's boyfriend's step brother. (???????????) god i hate this series my brain has just short circuited.

i think long story short. mgs characters have some pokemon and it's a goofy funny time but do not think too much abt how it actually works. ocelot has a team of cat pokemon and that's essentially all that matters. <3 (skitty, purrloin, meowth, some others. oh yeah espurr? and maybe espeon or umbreon. ngl ive only played up to and including x and y and i don't rly know/care abt the newer gens so im not rly taking pokemon from the more recent gens into consideration for this. soz.)

[infisonicosm-moved]

hi hi! ໒꒰ྀིྀི ੭ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵ ꒱ྀི੭♡

……so, i just followed you (u follow me back on ur other acc!) & ive been recently writing fics / oneshots about sam (haven’t posted any yet, but i will once they’re finished) & i was just wondering what made you stop writing for the guys?

i keep hearing ‘bout how this particular fandom is ruthless ?? (i just rejoined tumblr so idk if it’s just a tumblr thing, sorry) but yeah.. any advice on the matter? ……it’s lowkey making me terrified to post my writing, but on the other hand, im so in love with the fics i’ve written recently and really wanna post them.

also..! im so sorry that this fandom has been so harsh & downright cruel to you & your writing. you don’t deserve none of it. you’re very loved & appreciated. i promise. the haters can absolutely fuck off.

love, noa. ♡ xoxo.

Hi Noa!<3 Sorry this took me literally all day to respond to, I wanted to be sat at my computer to reply to this.

I haven't really decided if I'm done writing for the boys. I'm in limbo about it tbh.

Tumblr is actually the tamer side of the fandom. We don't have many altercations and try to avoid those we don't like unless we can't. My advice? Don't be shy to block people or unfollow them. Your experience on here will be so much easier if you follow those who you truly enjoy content from.

As for posting your writing, I will always encourage others to go for it. Just because others have shitty experiences doesn't mean you will. I'm just personally fed up with the fanfic author thing being thrown in my face in any argument. I highly advise that you make sure it's tagged with the right warnings bc this fandom has some notorious keyboard warriors who will jump your shit so fast if you miss something. Also, cheesy romance that's only found in movies? Not acceptable in this fandom. Everything has to be biblically, factually, and historically accurate for these fools LMAO. Personally for me, none of that matters and I understand the meaning of FICTION. There's lots of people who understand that as well.

It just eats away at you after a while and after almost a year of writing in this fandom I'm just fed up, as are a lot of other writers in this community.

If you post your writing, I will happily read it. I'm not picky and I love reblogging other content creators to share their work. I hope my experience doesn't scare others away but is seen more as a warning to what you can possibly deal with as a writer in the GVF fandom.

Thank you for such a kind message btw<3 I never know what I'm gonna get most days in my inbox and something positive is always refreshing!

[crisps-craft]

Hey! Can I ask for a tarot reading?

I’d like to know about my future spouse maybe you can tell me something about them with a help of tarot.

I’m H, Capricorn sun, Pisces moon, cap rising

Thank u so much 🦢

I like your aesthetic btw!

awe tysm i appreciate that! here are the messages i got:

cards - the lovers, ace of wands, queen of wands, 8 of pentacles, 3 of swords, ace of cups, 2 of cups, and wheel of fortune

ok first off- the lovers and 2 of cups?? soulmate cards ! i fucking love this already. i think you are going to come into your future spouse's life after some sort of heartbreak that they are going through (3 of swords and ace of cups) - the way that the ace of cups and 3 of swords are placed next to each other, its like you are providing the ace of cups to them and their broken heart. they will see you as someone who is so emotionally fulfilling, considerate, and sensitive and they will respond with the same energy. instant recognition type vibes- like instantly getting along and just knowing. im seeing you both feeling very comfortable and homey around each other (possible 4th house synastry which is sturdy af) im getting cancer energy but that is a hit or miss (i guess that sign is showing up as a message so show its a cancer-like connection - very homey, emotionally involved, comfortable, etc. very domestic bliss vibes)

8 of pentacles came out first showing me that they are a very hard worker and they might even make a decent amount of money (idk why that message came up lol) but they are the type of person to pour their everything into what they love &/or desire. i think that that drive and dedication will be such a green flag for you- you will feel comfortable placing a lot of trust in them. with 8 of pentacles, even as a literal card interpretation, they might like working with their hands whether this is wood working, building stuff, art, baking / cooking, gardening - hands on type of person. i think they will be super creative in this way and you will find that super handy and neat.

lowkey you might manifest them? thats what the wheel of fortune, ace of wands, and queen of wands is telling me. i think you will meet them, again, after some sort of heartbreak that they went through. in your life, however, you will meet them at a time where you are doing very well! im seeing you thriving, having your shit together, having fun, going out with friends, just living your best life. you'll meet them at a time where you are stable, secure, and confident with your job, yourself, your friends, your apartment - i think that divine timing is def in place for this connection. this person will see how put together you are and they will find it incredibly magnetizing! your confidence and how put together you are will not only be attractive but will help them trust & put faith in you <3

channeled messages: cancer, glasses (possibly), creative projects / working with their hands on art, gardening, woodwork, fixing computer / other stuff, etc. , curly hair (maybe), divine connection and timing, pure faith and trust. lots of chemistry too

hope it was accurate! wishing you the best love <3 remember- tarot is not 100% accurate so take what resonates!