#bruce: HARVEY WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT

[damianbugs]

hey yeah sure come in to my room just step over the strange came-from-completely nowhere au (bruce is taken in by carmine falcone following his parents death) and ignore this new, distressingly similar yet also random au (jason is taken in by two-face following willis' murder). we are very normal here

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Jason, especially in that one Teen Titans comic, often complains about the lack of pants he has. And I'm haunted thinking about that at all times

[reginalusus]

Ok so what if I put them in Dark Souls.

Ok, ok, ok, this fucking concept has been stuck in my head for around two months and I never bothered to draw it because I don't enjoy drawing armour and shit as you can see, but I managed to get a rough sketch of some stuff out yesterday and today.

If you would like to hear me yap about how DC Dank Souls would work and Two-Dads boss fight and their designs, feel free to go under the cut. ^-^

So it's basically a Souls-like game where Gotham is a decrepit, corrupt kingdom, even more so now that Bruce Wayne/Batman has died, and the player plays as a random, chosen Gothamite that must take down the villains/morally questionable of Gotham. Obviously I'd have Harvey and Jason be the final boss due to their personal connection with Bruce. They'd have the biggest banger of a boss theme known to man and work as a duo, similar to how Sister Freide and Father Ariandel work, or Lorian, Elder Prince and Lothric, Younger Prince etc. (both from DS3).

Some quick notes about their designs.

Harvey - Blindfolded like Lady Justitia. - His scales are a sacred chime, so they can emit miracles and be used to buff. They are also pointed with a dagger - can be used to stab as a back-up. - Due to Harvey having 'fallen angel' imagery, he DID have angel wings, but over the years and as his corruption grew, they became tattered and broken and sore. They drag behind him like a cape.

Jason - His lower body is bandaged, similar to the bandages he was wrapped in prior to being placed in the Lazarus Pit. - Grim Reaper imagery, but rather than a scythe, he uses twin sickles. Sickles are normally better for prying the hard-to-reach and tougher elements of a crop. - His eyes glow similar to the Lazarus Pit.

First Phase Harvey and Jason share a health bar in the first phase. Jason is very aggressive and will attack the player with quick and brutish heavy attacks with his dual sickles. He can also throw knives, use the environment to leap around and use a chain grapple to grip the player forward. Harvey will buff Jason in the background with his scale chime. Sometimes he will buff Jason's speed, sometimes his strength - however, before he does this, he will flip his coin and there will be a distinct ding. When that ding goes off, the player has around three-five seconds to hit Harvey and prevent the buff. The player can choose to be aggressive to Harvey since he is mostly idle during this phase, but he can admit a divine AOE (Call of the Jury, perhaps it's named) from his chime that will push the player back, forcing them to fight Jason. Git gud.

Second Phase Once the health bar is drained, a cutscene will play. Jason will fall to the ground in defeat, spluttering blood and essence from the Lazarus Pit. He dies. Harvey will fall beside him and cradle him, weeping and lamenting as he does so. He will mumble something like, "a second death to a second life would pleaseth us… however, for one as beloved as thou, we want a third," before carrying him to the Lazarus Pit. He will set Jason into it, before turning to face the player and removing his half-helmet, as well as his blindfold. They will drop to the ground, and from Harvey will admit Janus, melting into view gracefully at his side as a sort of spectre. Double health bar now, woo!

This fight play similarly to the Pontiff Sulyvhan fight from DS3. Harvey will no longer bear his scales and coin; he will swap them for dual swords resembling the Sword of Justice. Harvey's attacks are not as heavy as Jason's, but they are smoother and more elegant, similar to the Dancer of the Boreal Valley from DS3 or Rellana, Twin Moon Knight from Elden Ring. Janus deals less damage but, again similar to Pontiff Sulyvhan, will actually betray what move Harvey is about to perform, giving the player a chance to learn movesets.

Third Phase Once Harvey is defeated, another cutscene will play. He will fall on one knee, crestfallen and weak. He gazes over at the Lazarus Pit and from it will emerge Jason. He will pull down his hood, revealing a distinct, crimson helm that contrasts with his green eyes beneath it (think of Pursuer from DS2). He looks over to Harvey and approaches him before helping him to his feet. Harvey flips his coin, and it comes scarred side up. Jason and Harvey will then face the player, unyielding. Then the health bars pop up, wooooo!

Jason will be similar to his first phase, and Harvey will be similar to his second phase, minus Janus. They are both aggressive, but one will tend to give the player breathing room now and then. Sometimes they will have choregraphed attacks where they work together, sometimes one will try to grab the player so the other can unleash a flurry of attacks. They have separate health bars obviously, so the player will have to choose which of the two they want to try and tackle first, or they can even out both. Git gud.

Ko-Fi Bluesky

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

what do the rouges think of cardinal?

OHHHHH What a lovely question <33

Since i've yet to write in Cardinal in a scene beyond his desk work- these might change.

Cardinal acts well- like a cryptic?? It's a complete coin toss how he will behave, if he will turn the creepy to 100% and speak in tounge's (its a mix of latin and greek) But when he DOES respond its through a heavy voice modulater.

However if you want specifics?? (also some extra lore of some rouges no longer active- both due to. Cardinals interference and BECAUSE I SAID SO)

Joker- They are a menace, never once humors his schemes- he knows the moment Cardinal gets involved his fun is ruined. Therefore he hates their guts. (Cardinal is reported 10x more brutal when faced with the Joker)

Scarecrow- Self proclaimed "Arch enemy" of Cardinal since hes never once sucseeded in drugging them, and he longs to know what would make the little bird sing. (Cardinal is said to have an entire pocket dedicated to backup rebreathers, usually lets the bats take over)

Riddler- LOVES Cardinal so so much- they are like best friends (no no they are not) Cardinal seems to enjoy his puzzles and he's able to pull out ones even the Batman would struggle with. Sometimes an informant for a good game. (Cardinal will admit, out of all the rouges? He doesn't mind Riddler- just with less hostages)

Harley- Thinks they are strange, even more strange than the bats. But more than anything concerning- their behaviors raise a ton of red flags but she doubts she can convince them to therapy, though it is her goal. (Cardinal is... unsure about Harley, she's changed- but memories are hard)

Ivy- Theres a mutual respect- Though out of all the vigilantes Cardinal seems to fear her the most, the last time being hit by her pollen they freaked out enough Harley made her give over the antidote. They definently fight, but she does try and hold back some of her more underhanded stuff. (Cardinals suit got several more layers after that incident)

Mr.Freeze- Reformed villain now, as a result of Cardinal. Aka when he first did his villain monologue to them- they had spoke (for the first time to ANY rouge) and asked to see his blue prints. A few years later his suit was fortified to help him live a somewhat normal life, and his wife had been cured. They got their life back. Leaving Gotham soon after, but he still checks in on ocassion (Cardinal never responds though, but they're happy with the updates- that he was able to help)

Catwoman- Annoying, but interesting for sure. It seems no matter how elaborate her scheme they always seem to pop in and just stare or even wave. The most interesting thing though? They never stop her. Certian locations she robs they will return the item (usually museums) but have never once tried to actually take her in. If anything shes half convinced they throw the bats off her trail, its interesting. (She never steals from anyone who cant afford to replace it, and honestly her stuff goes to a good cause-)

Clayface- Never became a villain- After his accident, Dagget had been shut down long before so Matt Hageb he had no accsess to the cream. With the help of his coworker (and future husband) Teddy Lupus he got the help he needed. Drake Industries came out with an amazing prosthesis program that helped construct a whole new face. Now Mr & Mr Lupus live in upper west side of Gotham where they now raise two daughters going to Gotham Academy.

Blackmask- Hates their fucking guts. People think Cardinal comes down on the Joker hard? They're practically suffocating Black Mask movements- buisness is failing and at this rate he's trying to put out a hit on the fucker. (The hates their guts is mutual)

Two face- Instead of going to the Manori trial- Harvey had an emergency call from a very panicky Bruce who suddenly had CPS knocking at his door about Dick. The delay finding a new attorney meant Manori was found with the acid and held for attempted assault while Harvey was scot free. He owns his own law firm now and has continued to be a close confident to Bruce and "Uncle" to the kids. (Cardinal cried when he first found out about Harvey, that he was okay- he thought it had been too late.)

Penguin- Cardinal is a pain in their ass, not as much as Black mask but still just enough that he doesnt hold back when attacking. The ONLY saving grace from absolute hatred is Cardinal outright refuses to fight any of his birds, and will even go as far as to save some of them when the bats are too careless to notice a penguin slipping off a roof. (Cardinal wishes Penguin would stop dragging actual penguins into his shit- even with guns they're just too cute)

[emo-batboy]

Okay what is this I keep hearing about Harvery Dent and Bruce Wayne being caught kissing???? Storytime?

Okay so this is probably a much longer winded story than I’m sure you expected but here’s my whole explanation of Harvey/Two-Face in the Battinson universe:

I always like to imagine that there is a distinct difference between Harvey and Two-Face. In this world, Harvey is regarded as an accomplished man suffering from DID who is forced to live in Arkham to keep his second personality, Two-Face, behind bars. Meanwhile, Two-Face is a notorious crime boss and master manipulator. They share the same body, yes, and it almost impossible to tell them apart sometimes, yes, but Bruce is the only person that can reliably tell who is in control.

You see, over the years, Two-Face has become an expert at pretending to be Harvey, so much so that the guards at Arkham just refer to them as Dent now. There have been several incidents where doctors believed Harvey was somehow cured of his DID and they gave him more privileges due to “good behavior,” only for Two-Face to bash a prison guard’s skull in while trying to escape.

But the one person he can’t fool is Bruce, the man who knows Harvey so intimately that he can examine his facial features down to the micro expression.

They thought they would get married one day, Bruce and Harvey. It was sickeningly sweet. They were so madly in love. Then the accident worsened Harvey’s condition. Bruce will never forgive Two-Face for taking his true love away from him.

Bruce visits Arkham once a week to see Harvey. Only the guards know about their past relationship because the two can’t stop giving one another heart eyes while they play chess and tell each other about their day. They’ll talk for hours, and it’s no secret that a pretty, Bambi-eyed, lovestruck Brucie Wayne will pay off any guard to see his “friend” for another fifteen minutes or so.

But sometimes, Bruce walks into the room, sees Dent’s face, and immediately storms out. Because it’s Two-Face. Posing as his former lover, wearing his lips and cheeks and nose, but the eyes are just wrong, all wrong, and he’s giving Bruce a smile that isn’t even close to Harvey’s gorgeous smile. And it’s sick. The guards can’t tell, the other patients prisoners can’t tell, no one else can tell but oh, Bruce can fucking tell.

On other days, Bruce will be talking with Harvey one second, only to stop mid-sentence, scowl at him, and say, “Give him back. I’m not talking to you.”

Two-Face breaks into a grin. “I can never pull one over on you, can I, sweetheart?”

“Shut the fuck up. Where is he?”

“He says he loves you, and you look very nice.”

Bruce has been held back by the guards several times for this very reason. He blames himself that they can’t hold hands during visits anymore. Instead, they talk through that stupid fucking glass, but at least they get a private room. The guards now know that even if pretty Brucie Wayne looks sweet and delicate when talking to Harvey, he can also throw a decent punch.

On good weeks, it’ll be nothing but soft words and smiles.

“I finally bought those chocolates you recommended,” Bruce says.

Harvey smiles. “Did you like them?”

“I did. Thank you.”

On bad weeks, Bruce will leave with hot tears streaming down his face, and the guards will treat Two-Face just a little harsher than necessary as they escort him back to his cell.

Sometimes, it’s a mix of both. Even rarer are the days when Harvey comes back right before Bruce leaves to say goodbye to his angel. Those moments are the most tender because they all know Harvey has trouble taking control back. But he did it for Bruce, just to make him smile again before they parted ways.

One day, however, a guard thinks he can flirt with Bruce. He makes a move when no one’s looking and receives an answer in the form of a black eye. Only a day later, he gets maimed by Dent and lands in the hospital. Bruce learns about it during his next visit.

“Your boyfriend’s other half tried to kill that guard last week,” another guard tells him.

“The one that grabbed my ass?”

“Two-Face put him in a coma.”

Bruce chuckles and picks at a loose thread from his dress shirt. “What you makes you so sure it was Two-Face?”

No guard tries making a move on Arkham’s favorite visitor again. And the star-crossed lovers keep seeing one another and confessing their undying love. Even after they accept their fate. Even when Bruce tells Harvey about Selina and how he’s slowly falling in love with her too. But something is holding him back.

“I don’t want to let you go,” Bruce whispers.

“I don’t either,” Harvey says, tracing his love’s hand through the bulletproof glass, “but I want you to be happy.”

“But I’m happy with you.” Bruce was always a crybaby, but he hates crying in here the most.

“You can be happy with me in here. But I can’t bear to be the reason you’re not happy out there.”

After a bit more convincing, Bruce finally agrees. Before beginning a new relationship, he tells Selina about him and Harvey, tells her that it’s non-negotiable, and she accepts it.

The next time Dent breaks out of Arkham, Selina gets a visitor. “Break his heart, and I’ll drown you in the pier,” he says.

Selina smiles as her hoard of cats purr against the stranger. Maybe they can tell just like Bruce can. Or maybe this is Two-Face doing Harvey a favor. Either way, she doesn’t particularly care.

Selina gives him a once-over and nods. “Likewise.”

Anyway, yes, that is my BruHarvey lore. Hope you enjoyed :)

@bruciemilf this is right up your alley, bestie

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

lowk FUCKED up, butttttttttttttt would any of the comic book yanderes lobotomize their darling? we always talkin about willingness and shit saur... ya know!! just a lil off the top if ykwim

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐂 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒…

!!! GN reader, take a wild guess (lobotomies), neurological terms used, basic delusional behaviors, unethical uses of superpowers, unethical practices in general, mentions of brain dead/vegetative/mentally handicapped reader, Hal’s part briefly describes actual lobotomy procedures, Joker jumpscare in Harvey’s, gaslighting, a small history lesson here and there, themes of forced drug abuse, Tim Drake being a good candidate for the Saw franchise.

GRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHGHHHRRR. Anon, come over here so I can give you a lil forehead smooch. I’ve always wanted to write a yan lobotomy blurb, but… I didn’t really know what direction I wanted to go. Or who to write about. The idea is was legit, “hee hee, wouldn’t it be silly if there was a yandere lobotomy fic” and that’s about it. So I guess this is my chance to get some feelings out about that, yay!!

A few of these are a bit longer than usual cuz this type of shit is my jam. I also didn’t know if you wanted me to rank them on least to most likely, so shoot me a follow up ask if that’s what you wanted. Mwah!!

Bruce Wayne: Definitely not off the table. I’m willing to bet Thomas Wayne had at least one book on lobotomies; just an antique hardback that makes for an interesting read. I can see young Bruce sitting on his father’s lap in the study, tiny hands tracing over the book’s old diagrams as Thomas lovingly describes all of the morbid things they’d do to people (you know, classic father/son bonding activities). Who knew it would actually come in handy one day? Moral repercussions be damned, my man can pull off a sick lobotomy. There are of course factors he has no control over — such as your own brain plasticity and cognitive function — but that’s not exactly his fault, now is it? What your brain decides to do post-lobotomy has nothing to do with him (jokes aside, he’d be devastated if you were totally fucked up afterwards… though he’d easily adapt).

Bucky Barnes: I think he’s had enough mind-meddling of his own to give this a hard pass. It doesn’t matter how bad you are; he’s not doing anything to your brain. You’ll learn to behave on your own accord. And thank god, cuz bro would NOT make a good brain surgeon. He’d brick you so fast. Also, fun fact, the Soviets were actually the first to ban lobotomies (if memory serves correct; Google is backing me up, so… do with that what you will). I don’t know if this carries over to the KGB and their little secret evil organization side shenanigans, but yeah. Let it be known that the chances of lobotomized Bucky went down by… like�� 3%.

Clark Kent: At first, I was about to say no, but then I remembered the Justice Lords from the JL cartoon, and… you know what? Maybe. It would be a very low chance, but if it’s gotten to the point where you’re a danger to yourself, Clark would have no other choice. What else can he do? Your safety always comes first and foremost. While the two dots singed into your forehead would raise a few brows, it’s not like he lets you out much anyway. He’d spend a long time trying to cope with the guilt. He did this to save you… he just had to save you from yourself. At least his heat vision is precise enough that he wouldn’t fuck it up. Now all that’s left to do is hope that you turn out okay. He’ll consider it a job well done if you can at least still smile at him.

Dick Grayson: He really isn’t that much different from Bruce, is he? Yeah, he’d do it. Maybe with a few more reservations, but he’d still do it. I think it’s in your best interest if you don’t let him spiral this far, because he’s not against the idea of you being in a completely vegetative state. Yeah, it would suck that you aren’t as active of a participant as he’d want you to be, but having complete control over your care is good enough for him. He’ll easily let his own delusions fill that void. Honestly, a part of him might even hope you turn out with a mental capacity of a toddler. It’s the best of both worlds; while you can still respond to your environment, you also rely heavily on his care. Perfectly pliable in his hands… a dream come true! Yay!

Hal Jordan: Nah. He’s good. Last he checked, he’s not the most qualified person in the world to quite literally poke around in someone’s brain. Hell, even the thought of it makes him sick. No drilling holes into skulls, no skewering needles through eye sockets, no thanks! He’ll leave that up to the people who can stomach the grosser shit. Now, is the thought of a quick operation that theoretically fixes your bratty behavior tempting? Sure. But Hal’s not an idiot; he knows the risks, and those risks just don’t seem worth it. There’s a reason lobotomies are unethical nowadays. Unless the topic comes up in some sort of show or movie, the thought wouldn’t even cross his mind.

Harvey Dent: Neither Harvey nor Two Face are all that keen on the idea. They might’ve done some fucked up shit to you (definitely Two Face more than Harvey), but a lobotomy? That’s just a new level of fucked up. A Joker level of fucked up, even (and the thought of being compared to that piece of shit makes both sides of Dent want to light up an entire room). Besides, there’s no one on the entire planet he’d trust to pull off a procedure like that on you. While he might know a guy or two who would totally do it in this day and age, he’d sooner put a bullet in their brain than let them fuck around with yours. That being said, don’t think you’re totally out of the woods. At the end of the day, it’s all up to the coin, remember?

Jaime Reyes: Would Jaime? No. Absolutely not. It’s unethical, it’s fucked, and it’s also just gross. Anything to do with surgery makes him feel extremely squeamish, and he might actually pass out if he thinks about it too hard. But would Khaji Da? Yeah. Probably. Though it would have to be an extreme scenario, where you’re just completely beyond controlling. Khaji Da knows the risks, and while he’ll execute the technical aspects flawlessly, the results are naturally unpredictable. It would be unfortunate if the scarab lost its host’s mate. Your poor little noggin is at the mercy of Jaime’s resolve. Is he in full control? Then don’t worry, his incoherent mutterings about severing connections in your prefrontal cortex are nothing but his weird intrusive thoughts. But… if he isn’t… uh-oh.

Peter Parker: Nope. No lobotomies here. He’s quite aware of the repercussions, both morally and practically. Honestly, he doesn’t even see most of your behaviors as something in need of correcting in the first place. Maybe if you were causing yourself any sort of harm, but other than that, he can put up with a lot of your bullshit. Talking back? Name calling? Hitting and kicking? Straight-up just being abusive? As long as you don’t leave him, he’ll work with it! Peter is the exact definition of a pushover yandere. You can get away with a lot, and that includes not getting lobotomy!

Reed Richards: I can see him pulling one off. Is it the most desirable outcome? Definitely not. But there’s only so much he can put up with before he finally puts his foot down. If you’re the insubordinate type, you’ve probably given him at least 17 heart attacks by now, and it’s only natural he’d come up with a way to curb those behaviors. See, me personally, if I were to get a lobotomy from any of these men, I’m calling up Reed. He’s no neurologist, but I’m sure he can whip up something to study your brain waves and accurately predict the outcome of a lobotomy. Plus, he’d probably have the safest environment and instruments for the operation. You won’t feel a thing, trust. Now let’s hope months of collecting data and trial runs on some less-than-willing test subjects pay off!

Remy LeBeau: Yeah, no… probably not. Thanks to Sinister, he knows first hand how invasive a lobotomy is. You’d have to be really unstable for him to even consider that idea. He definitely has the means to do it — all he has to do is put a finger up to your forehead and burn through your frontal lobe — but having the resolve to do it is a different story. While he might’ve turned out semi-okay post-lobotomy, there’s no telling what would happen after yours. Way too risky. Only something to consider as a totally nuclear option. So don’t make him do something he’d rather not, okay? It’d be better for you, better for him, better for everyone.

Scott Summers: Like Gambit, he’s a victim of Sinister’s fuckery but 10 times worse. I don’t think he’d be able to stomach the thought of doing anything surgical to you no matter how disobedient you are. But… maybe we can make this a little interesting. Scott’s attracted some hella weird attention over the years… who’s to say someone like Sinister wouldn’t get his hands on you and do a little fucking around? Maybe Goblin Queen? A particularly pissed off Phoenix? While Scott himself wouldn’t dare lobotomize you, I think there’s some people out there who would. Or, hear me out: mind controlled Cyclops almost crushing your skull with an optic blast. It would be more blunt force than an actual lobotomy, but I’m willing to bet it would fuck up your cognitive function all the same. Despite the immense horror and guilt he’d feel afterwards, a small part of him can see it as a blessing in disguise (depending on how you turn out, that is).

Steve Rogers: Honestly, Cap was frozen at the funniest point in history ever. The amount of lobotomies increased exponentially from the 40s to 50s (mind you, WWII ended in 1945), and then antipsychotics were introduced as a more ethical way to treat mental illness, which Steve wouldn’t know shit about. Unfortunately for all of my fellow sickos out there, lobotomies were probably never a thing Steve liked about the 40s, but allow me to offer an alternative. Steve thinks there’s clearly something wrong with your mental health; why else would you act like you hate him? Luckily for him, this is the 21st century, where people know much more about mental illnesses and disorders. He could easily pull some strings as Captain America and get you the help you so obviously need. So, I guess the question is, how many different prescriptions of antipsychotics can one take at once? Guess you’ll find out!

Tim Drake: So… uh… y’all better pray that he doesn’t get any intrusive thoughts about this shit. And if he does, PRAY that he snaps out of his weird fit before it’s too late. DO NOT LET BRO COOK. I don’t think he’d totally fuck it up or anything, but the chances of him spiraling and performing more than one are dangerously high. You might find the out hard way just how much poking and prodding a brain can take before it shuts down. Depending on how manic he is, he might actually lobotomize you while you’re conscious. No anesthesia, no painkillers, just him pouncing on you with a hammer and pick. You will be rawdogging this lobotomy like god intended. That’s when he’d fuck your shit up. Unless you want him to brick your brain, you better fight him off and wrestle those tools out of his hands. The post-manic episode clarity would be insane. “Uh… sorry I tried to give you a lobotomy.” Cool, man. Okay.

Wally West: Wally “if you need to give someone a lobotomy, that’s honestly a skill issue” West. Who needs that shit when you’re THE master manipulator? It would take some god-tier perception (or paranoia) to see through a fraction of his act, and even so, what good will any of that do when he’s got everyone else wrapped around his finger? Fighting against him is a dangerous game. If need be, he’ll play the loving caretaker while you’re the loony one. Poor Wally… he’s trying to help you through your issues, and this is the thanks he gets? Wow. Now, for the sake of a little exploration, I think it’s important to note that Wally could theoretically go through with it (by phasing his hand through your skull and solidifying at the right angle), but that sounds way too unstable to pull off. It would probably run the risk of turning your brain into a soup, and I’m pretty sure that kills people.

[autisticrosewilson]

NEXT

I’m a sucker for time travel AUs

Jason isn’t the time traveler. All his parents are. I’m putting him at about 5 in this. Old enough to not be a baby, but too young to put all the pieces together.

So Cathy and Willis wake up. They freak the fuck out but realize they get to fix things!! Then Natalia knocks on their door. And a few hours later Harvey shows up. Talia kills Sheila Haywood and the Joker and then shows up a few days later. Bruce… you can have fun with that. I wanted this to be fluff with baby Jason and all his parents. 

Funny idea actually. Bruce thinking that Jay remembers and that somehow five-year-old Jason broke into Arkham and killed the Joker, shows up at the Todd’s door. Talia answers it. 

I WANT TO STRESS THIS IS FLUFF

You drive a hard bargain, but I'll see what I can do.

I actually often think about a similar au where the Todd's and baby Jay stumble into the future by sheer accident, very silly, soul crushingly sad.

I think Bruce probably tells his past self to stick behind because there's future business afoot and he doesn't mess up the past. And then the Joker is murdered and Bruce assumes that Jason came back to the past too. So the current future is out the window, two Batman's pop up at the door and IT'S FIVE YEAR OLD JASON WHO ANSWERS IT!! He thinks it's more of his aunties and uncles over for family dinner so he rushes to the door and these big brooding assholes are just looming. And he's like "...Can I?? Help you?? Sirs??" Future Bruce is trying not to choke on his own tears because Jason is just a BABY!! He's so little!!! And past Bruce is like "Hey we need to talk to your- TALIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE."

*With mild disdain* "Beloved."

Past Bruce who's trying to figure what he did to earn that because they were JUST galavanting around Paris, so he glares over at Future Bruce who's like "😐".

Slowly more of Jason's parents are arguing in front of the door before Cathy pushes past assassins, Rogues, and crime bosses alike because this is HER HOME thank you. And she's like "take your shoes off and put your weapons in the box by the door and come help set the table or leave. No clown talk allowed, this is family time."

And past Bruce is like "???" And future Bruce is still "😐" but they do end up sitting at the table with everyone. They are unequivocally the odd ones out though so they eat their spaghetti in silence while everyone else has a good time and catches up.

[tinkerbelle05]

Single parent Bruce Wayne batkids being protective and (healthy) possessive over Bruce?? Batkids who have differing opinions on who Bruce should date?? Yes, yes, yes!!

I imagined that the kids are pretty used to Bruce going on dates as Brucie Wayne, to keep up the playboy persona. All of them have worried about varying degrees. Some took the time to do background checks on the person he was going out with and others decided to spy on them.

Hell, they would’ve been doing just that if Alfred hadn’t stopped them. Said something about how Bruce is an adult who can make his own decisions. They all knew the butler was lying through his teeth.

But they were all comforted by the fact that Bruce didn't have any feelings. That most likely, there would be no second dates with that person, they would fade into the faceless void that was the Gotham elite.

That assurance wrapped them up in a blanket when Bruce was out later than he was supposed to. When he came back happy and giggling rather than the usual indifference or just exhaustion.

“This is weird, right?” Duke questioned one day. They were all in the kitchen waiting for brownies that Jason was stress baking them.

“What is?” Jason asked-mumbled as he was setting the timer.

There was a definite tension in the air around them. For a full house of people, it was quiet. Just the sound of mindlessly scrolling on the phone and Jason’s baking filled it. The silence lingered either way.

“That we have this protectiveness of Bruce,” he explained. “Like he goes out for a ‘date’ and look at us. All nervous and fidgety. I mean, it’s been an hour and no arguments between Tim and Dami.”

No one had an answer for that. It was one of those that were complicated and simple all at once. Bruce was a person with feelings even though he tries to hide them, they are present. They exist. And he breaks, easy and often. And shouldn’t that be reason enough? Because he’s a person who has so much love to give but has been burned too many times.

But continues to love either way.

“Because he’s our dad and no one’s ever gonna be good enough for him, duh.” Jason answers, unfiltered and blunt. He was the most vocal in opposition to these dates in the first place, or Bruce going on dates in general.

“But it's all fake though? We all know that for him it might as well be another business meeting.”

Jason opened his mouth to respond when Bruce walked in, and as usual he was bombarded with a million questions. Duke’s question was forgotten by all of them.

“Where did you go?”

“What did you do?”

“Who was it?”

“How was it?”

“Guys, guys, calm down,” Bruce chuckles, “I just got into the house. Let me settle in first.” There was a faint redness of his cheeks, a glint in his eyes.

That only suggest trouble.

“And also, my date isn’t the type of person you guys are thinking of,” he starts off, walking towards the den. His kids follow him like little ducklings following their mother. “It was Harvey Dent “

“The fucking D.A?! Two Face??” Jason yells, alarmed. Harvey Dent wasn't the type to have fake dates with people.

“It was a real date,” Bruce admits to them. He gets comfortable on the couch and all of his kids surround him, preparing to latch on to every word. “Only Alfred knew about it because we know how you kids can get. I really like him, and I know that you have your suspicions, especially about him. So, please?”

“No!” Jason said, a frown on his face and his arms crossed. “I don’t like him, I don’t trust him, and he isn’t good enough.”

“Jay-“

“I agree with Todd, Father,” Damian cuts in. “My mother is a more suitable choice if we’re being honest.”

“Eh, if we are actually being honest, it’d be Superman.”

“Superman?!” Jason questions with disgust written all over his face. “Dickface, I know you have some hero worship going on with him, but that's the most basic of basic.”

“Plus, it’d be weird if I was dating my Dad’s boyfriend’s son,” Tim added.

“For once, Drake is correct. Neither Dent nor the alien is the correct choice for Father. Like I-”

“No, little brother,” Cass said.

“Yea, I agree with Cass here, Dames. I just don't see it working out with those two,” Duke agreed.

The argument continued well into the night and in true Wayne fashion, it in a debate style with well-thought powerpoints and some insults thrown in of course. No one had any agreement on who deserved their father.

“Um, do I get to make a decision on this?” Bruce asked in the middle of a laughing fit. It was nice to have the house full with people and laughter.

All of them looked at him with a blank stare and responded with a swift “No”.

[crow-in-gotham]

BLOG POST NO. 12 - WTF IS A BATMAN

If there is one thing that I have learned about the people of this city, it is the fact that literally everyone here loves to gossip. Like seriously, you see it everywhere, from people of all ages, young or old. I’m not complaining about it by any means (I’m Filipino, being a marites is kinda in my blood) but it’s just a little bit jarring to be on the bus, just peacefully minding my own business, then suddenly overhear someone gossiping in the seats behind me.

Which is exactly what happened to me today on my ride to school.

The apparent topic of the day? The identity of the ever mysterious Batman.

I know, I know, the topic has been talked about so much that if you compiled all the conspiracy theories regarding this and printed it out, the amount of paper you’d fill up might just be enough to reach the halfway point between the Earth and the Moon.

But regardless of how overdone this topic is, it’s still a pretty interesting thing to talk about. After all, absolutely no one knows who Batman is, or if he’s even a man in the first place. For all we know, the “man” in his name might be a red herring and he’s actually some eldritch alien sent from beyond the Milky Way to lull the world into a false sense of security so he can open a portal into the Dark Dimension and take over the entire world as an evil overlord.

Too much? Yeah, I think so too— but hey, what else am I supposed to do during my Differential Equations class, actually listen to the lecture? Pssh, nahhh— my attention span is way too short to sit through an entire 3 hours of just constantly being bombarded by numbers (I am so fucked).

Anyway, back to the topic at hand— Batman’s identity.

I’ve seen so many theories floating around about this, but only two in particular are that memorable for me personally. Well, three if you count the last one (we’ll get to that).

The first theory was that it might be this dude named Harvey Dent (had to look him up— and man, all I can say is that I’m sorry), but uh certain events have completely debunked that. If you live in Gotham then you know exactly what I’m talking about, and if you don’t then uh go do a quick internet search, I’m too lazy to spoon feed you all the information you need (you gotta learn how to do your own research somehow).

Then there’s the whole “Batman is Bruce Wayne” thing which is like, okay, I know where they’re going with this but at the same time I’m kinda ehh on it, you know? For one, Bruce Wayne looks too much like a personified teddy bear (I have said this once and I’ve said it again) to be the civilian identity of the literal definition of darkness and “it’s not a phase” but bat furry coded. I just don’t think the dude that flirts with women and men (istg the amount of times the tabloids just conveniently skip past this— I know for a fact I’m not the only one who’s seen that photo of this dude grab the waist of that male reporter from the Daily Planet— I see them) every chance he gets is the same guy who puts on a bat costume (am I allowed to make another furry joke?) to beat up bad guys in the middle of the night.

So what I’m trying to get at here is that I see the point being made, and I acknowledge it, but I just feel like we need more concrete evidence, you know?

I hope to fuck that I did not just summon an entire mob to come after me for that last bit.

Anyhow, onto my final theory, which is the fact that Batman might just be a cryptid born from the shadows of Gotham herself. This connects to the whole “Gotham is alive” conspiracy that started circulating around a few years ago. I don’t know how popularized it is, but it ended up reaching me when I was browsing through some forums a couple weeks back and honestly, even if it’s not true, it makes for an interesting thought. Because hey, what if cities are alive? That’d be interesting (and is also mildly terrifying).

The basic idea of this theory is the fact that Batman, thanks to being a cryptid and all that, isn’t actually human and therefore doesn’t have a human identity. He’s just Batman. As for why Gotham made him in the form of a human, not many people really answer this question (or more like no one really bothers to ask), but here’s my thoughts: I think Gotham made Batman into a humanoid because we as humans are often more inclined to be comfortable with something if it’s in the form of something familiar to us (hence, human). Like, imagine if Batman wasn’t human and was something like a massive blur of shadow and tendrils— wouldn’t that freak you the fuck out? Regardless of whether or not it saved you, you’ll still feel fucking terrified of it. But if it’s someone that just looks like a dude in a costume, then doesn’t that make you a little less scared? (I say “a little less” because let’s be real, human or not, Batman excels in being terrifying)

Well, that’s all under the assumption that the whole “Batman is a Cryptid” and “Gotham is Alive” are true.

Or that Batman even exists.

I’m pretty sure he does but there’s a lot of people that are saying otherwise, so I feel like I should at least acknowledge the fact that some people think he’s not real? Like, I even have classmates who say that Batman is just a tale told to kids so they don’t misbehave and stay out for too long— which, okay, that’s fair. I’ve heard my fair share of scary stories and beings throughout my childhood as well to be honest— also from adults who thought it’d be a great way to keep me obedient (mostly my titos and titas, my ma and pa never really liked scaring me or my brother)

Buut, I’m going to have to disagree with those points because I’ve heard Red Hood talk to his little earpiece thing (yes, Red Hood, I know you have one, because literally every vigilante/hero in a team should— no, I do not care if you say you’re a crime lord, you saved me from a mugger, get over it). And you know who he called out to one time? Batman.

And okay, to be fair, Red Hood could’ve just said the name to keep convincing people that Batman is real when he’s not, but honestly I don’t think Mr. Bleeding Bat Symbol over here would be that dedicated in making Gotham believe in something that isn’t real.

But I digress.

Do I actually care about Batman's real identity? Absolutely not. As long as the dude doesn’t bother me then I have nothing against his questionable life choices (I mean come on, what kind of life choices lead you to dressing up like a crime fighting bat?).

And also he keeps Gotham marginally safer, I guess, so that’s a win in my book.

As for the whole “What’s Batman’s relationship with Bruce Wayne?”— I've also given it some thought.

And honestly a part of me thinks they might be exes… or divorced.

But that’s a ramble for another time— I need to study for my next class.

[trekkele]

I‘m pretty sure you‘ve said before that you find Joker boring and/or overused. Has there ever been a time/story where you found him/his dynamic with Batman actually interesting?

Because for me he feels like he‘s close to having interesting interactions with Bruce, but something is missing 99% of the time. (might just be me though).

(could also be that he works better as a 'concept'. Just chaos/evil etc. instead of having a proper characterization/?) I‘m not talking about Joker 'backstory'. That can stay far away from me. He just came like that in the mail (no return address). So let’s not ask any questions about his nasty vibes.

Also! Thoughts on court of Owls? I don‘t know if you‘ve ever talked about them before! (Though to be fair- all I‘m really sure of when it comes to them is 'make Zombie bird people' and 'Capitalism')

And if both of these questions are just 'meh' to you;

I‘m always eager to read more about Bruce and Stephanie >:)

(Also Duke and Cass and TimandDickandDamianandTitusand…)

“He came like that in the mail (no return address)” is truly the ideal Joker backstory. I want him out there giving a contradictory answer to every question he’s ever asked.

I think he should have a consistent characterization, even if its just “for the lolz”. I truly think he would do anything if its funny. I dont want him to be some kind of Chaos Entity, but an entity of chaos, if you feel me. Just. The personification of nihilism in its most boring form.

I do think he’s perfectly capable of being interesting? I just view Death in the Family as the “end” of that interest. In my mind, whatever sympathies Batman would have ended there. At that point, yes, Joker was a killer. But all of his kills had been shtick, had been theme, had been, essentially, part of the joke. Robins death was the joke, and i think that closed a door on him. You reached the end point, its done, anything that happens after that is beating a dead horse.

And Bruce has a lot of villains that “reflect” back on him. Harveys idealism, Ivys frustration with humanity, Scarecrow and his fear, etc etc. so hes just not that important to me. Im sure there are stories with him that are good or do interesting things, I just avoid him in general. He’s already peaked in high school and now he’s at the villain reunion reminiscing about the good old days.

Court of Owls is. Complicated. Because so you have this super secret evil cabal group of the rich and powerful? And they secretly run the whole town? And the only confirmed rich Jewish family in Gotham is part of them?? Ok. Ew. There is a fanfic (which i will rec in the notes as soon as i remember the name) that did a very clever work around where the court was a myth, just a conspiracy theory with no truth, BUT a group of rich shmucks decided to start a group and named themselves after the conspiracy. Which i do like because of the levels of irony involved. However you cant make the Kanes part of it. Sorry.

I also (and this ive probably mentioned before) dont like when the Wayne Murder is some conspiracy. A simple everyday mugging gone horribly wrong is just so much better story wise. However, rich people fucking with each other by using a common conspiracy they all know is fake is actually kind of funny. Martha getting an envelope stuffed with Owl feathers and rolling her eyes because of course Penelope is angry she looks better in red is hilarious.

[nevereverthem]

Gotham : Season 1 Episode 1

I fell upon the character of Jerome Valeska a few weeks ago and got an obsession over him. Then Jeremiah, Oswald Cobblepot, Edward Nygma (Nygmobblepot 🙄💕)... I watched videos, read fanfictions, followed Tumblr posts...

Today I'm FINALLY WATCHING THAT SHOW!!

I'm 5 minutes in and...

Selina is SO COOL

Bruce just experienced the worst night of his life DAMN! (By the way, leaving the boy alive is a stupid move... But I suppose there wouldn't be a story otherwise 🙄)

Jim Gordon!? I beg you pardon!? HOT AS FUCK!

Then, at the crime scene :

Jim is so soft talking to little Bruce. 🥺

The "There will be light" bit! 😭

"I should have done something. I was too scared." BOY! You couldn't have done ANYTHING! You would have just been killed in the lot if you'd moved.

"You can be STRONG." Hum... Thanks no thanks Jim. "Be strong!" Fuck you let him be a second. X) I get it huh, but damn it man. Boy just lost both his parents!

Bruce RUNNING TO ALFRED!! 😭😭

💥 INTRO TITLE 💥

OMG the Café! I only know it because of the soup scene with Jerome. 😭😭

Bullock pisses me off a little there but I get where he's coming from... Jim (the "new guy") so much wants to do his best!! 🥹

Renee Montoya... I'm forced by my brain to be reminded of the Harley Quinn movie. 😍

Do I have the right to say that Crispus Allen is an asshole?

At the station :

"She said you had to keep me huh?" JIM 😍🤣

"This is not a city, or a job for nice guys." OH MY... I just... He's right. Fuck. 😭😭

The compilation of arrestations & interviews with the music in the background is 🔥🔥.

EDWARD NYGMA!! I'm hyperventilating!! His first appearance, his freaking SMILE!! I... AAHHHHHHH!

His FIRST RIDDLE ❓and Jim immediately answering it!... Is it okay if I ship them a little for now, after 10 seconds? It is. What's the name of that ship? OMG. 🫶

Fish Mooney being a "last resort". 🤣 Btw, BEAUTIFUL 😍🎉

OSWALD COBBLEPOT 🔥😍🥰🐧☂️ Little umbrella holder... Btw, the way he ENJOYS watching the man being beaten up... Yeah... 🙄🙃

"If you let that hair go frizzy, you will be!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 PLEASE

Oswald that BITCH 😭😭 He's like a soft little umbrella boy... And then he beats the shit out of the man already on the ground I can't!! I mean I know he's a villain but damn in the beginning he's like "Oh, I can beat him up too? Thank you that's so sweet to let me." *hit - hit* He's (I suppose) throwing his lack of confidence in the blows...

Harvey and Fish so casual, friendly... Jim *UTTER CONFUSION*

Jim already can't with their bullshit!! 🤣🤣

"Yeah, take it easy, Penguin!" - "You know I don't like to be called that!" Babyyyy 😢🐧

Butch is... I... 🤣🤣

"Drop the bat" - *Drops it proudly* 🤣🙃🐧🙄

"All in fun" Oswald... He sounds like a little boy and he's supposed to be 29 (as said on Google). I like his voice, but it's the way his says the sentences. Boy tries to sound all innocent, I can't.

"No problem. Fun." Says the guy kneeling on the floor with blood pooling in between his teeth...

"You're the new guy, huh? How do you like Gotham so far?" I mean... 🙄🤣🙃🥲

The exchange of looks between Fish and Jim...

Barbara Kean

"Talk to me." and he DOES. Jim, one point on the green flag side.

"You don't want to talk to daddy. (...) He's mean." 😭😭😭😭 Little girl.

The wife is terrified for sure and lying so that she doesn't get beaten up by her supposed to be husband. 😭😭😭😭

Bastard tryna escape. 😑

Jim is at his 100% 😮 Man's risking his life, only his fists to fight with...

Jim baby fighting for his life (and for Bruce)... Meanwhile Harvey *shoots once*

Case solved... I suppose. 🤔

Oswald and THE GLASSES 🫠🫠😍😍

"... framed by Fish Mooney and the cops." OMG Harvey what did you... Just to close a freaking case!?

And, Oswald, you're giving informations to Montoya and Allen? Oh MY! Fish is gonna "frizz" you for real 😮

"That poor orphan boy picked my conscience." NAAHHH 🤣😭

Bruce baby 😭😭 the funeral

Oh, Selina! She's a freaking cat from the start. 😌

"You kept your promise." Nnooooo 😭 but Gordon doesn't know. That's not his fault. 🥲

Barbara & Renee?...

Oh... Former friends, lovers? 😏

James doesn't know. He's not privy to that BS!

James going back to the house to search for the truth himself!! 😮❤️

No shiny shoes, NONE.

"Forget about it" NUH UH!

Oswald BABYYYY

James!

OH MY. Does their weird friends/ship/frenemies whatever relationship starts here? 😍

Fish : "You think I'll tell you the truth?"

*Two henchmen walking in*

James : "You just did." 🔥🔥🔥🔥 MAN!

OMG, James beating the two guys... But obviously Fish knocks him out from behind. 🙄

How did Harvey think she was gonna let that go?

Oswald SWEATING 🤣🤣

"Won't you be a sweet boy and rub my feet?" SHE KNOWS!!

The zoom on the foot though x)

Oswald thinking "Yeah... I'm the one who's gonna take over one day!!" 🙄

"Only you saw me with the pearls. No one else..." AAHHHHHH RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!

Immediately puts the blame on Gilzean!? What a way to make more enemies... 😅🙃

"Prove your loyalty, my little Pen-guin." The shift on Oswald's face!! 😮😮

The man on stage in the background though. 🤣

Oswald BABYYYY 😭😭😭😭 beaten up.

OH! Falcone. Here we meet. Damn. At least saving James & Harvey.

"You can't have organised crime without law and order."...

Who killed the Waynes then!?

What!? OSWALD IN THE CAR TRUNK!?

"Please. Please, I beg of you.." 😭😭

Falcone wants Jim to do WHAT!? AAAAHHHHH

Ok, Oswald is gonna survive. Man's here 'till the end of season 5 but still...

Harvey calling Oswald a "scumbag". X)

I like the rapid talk about war!

Hurting Oswald's bad leg while shoving him out of the car. 🥺

Baby betrayed Fish and is supposed to be killed, but he's now begging for mercy. Like... what did you expect, dude!? 😭

THE WALK 💕🐧

"Please Mister Gordon. Just let me live. I'll do whatever you say. I'll be your slave for life!" (OMG I WANNA READ THAT FANFICTION 🔥🤣) But it's so sad like Oswald's so used to being a servant/slave.

His shiny eyes. 🥺

"I'm clever that way. And I can help you. I can be a spy for-" aaahhhhh

James is so... He doesn't want to... but he knows he has no choice but ah!

"Don't ever come back to Gotham." *proceeds to shoot in the air, then shoves Oswald in the water*

First, MAN, LOVE YOU!

Then, He will come back. 🙄

"Oi! Master Bruce! Get your bloody ass..." How Alfred talks to him is just so... 🤣🤣

"Fear tells you where the edge is. Fear is a good thing." 100% AGREED.

Jim planning on cleaning the whole police department!! DEDICATION.

Bruce shutting Alfred up. Damn.

Bruce giving James his badge back... The symbol!

Selina!! You have a stalking problem girl. 🤣🤣 Love the "steam punk glasses whatever I don't know the name" though. 💅

Oswald resurfacing from the water. Take a deep breath buddy. x)

You just slit the throat of a random stranger to steal his sandwich!? I cannot condone that life choice man. A bit much truly.

Okay...

That's only episode 1!? Are you kidding me!? Fuck... That's gonna be a lot... That's gonna be FABULOUS. 😍😍

I think I might write a little reaction post each time.

Like if you're interested.

You can also loose your shit with me in the comments.

See ya. 🫶

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

WHAT'S UP GAMERS IT'S GOTHAM TIME

Gotham 5x09

drink: simply spiked lemonade (5% alcohol)

Lee asked if she's supposed to stay at home to raise Jim's baby with Barbara while Jim's out playing cowboy cop and like... maybe. personally I would like to see it

I love the spirit halloween costumes the gangs are wearing they're so fun. also quoth my wife they're all "bouncing in an idle animation" and they really are

baby batcat date!!!

Ben McKenzie got to write an episode and the first thing he did was shoot Jim... even Jim is sick of Jim

and Erin Richards is directing they really were just outsourcing episodes to the cast at this point

Robin Lord Taylor is dialing the performance up to like a 20 out of 10 today. full male hysteria moment. and good for him!

unexpected Ivy return! ma'am please step away from that underage boy!

my wife, watching Jim Gordon prosecute himself at his own hallucinatory trial, unimpressed: "that's just what it's like to be Catholic."

cannot believe Zsasz may have finally pulled off a hit on a main character good job baby boy.

Ben McKenzie I am hugging you warmly for writing a moment where Alfred talks about how much he loves Bruce and Is his father. perhaps a tiny Alfred redemption arc with four episodes to go.

Ivy and Zsasz should just fuck, actually

Lucius baby you've been Poison Ivy'd before you cannot fall for this so easy I'm in hell

Jim hallucinating Oswald and Ed cozily playing the piano singing together... what does it all mean

Bruce and Selina fighting:

I cannot believe I'm going to say this but Ben McKenzie should have written more episodes. this one is so dumb it rules.

actually genuinely extremely fucked up the degree to which Jim and Lee seem to be planning to raise this child without Barbara entirely what's the plan gamers

HOLY TIMESKIP BATMAN

NOT THE WEDDING AT THE GCPD BEN MCKENZIE YOU MADMAN

Harvey officiating... shut the fuck up...

Selina wearing a studded leather jacket and her cat gloves to a wedding is so fucking funny. iconic. she IS Catwoman.

my wife, watching Jim and Lee get married: "she should kill him right now. take him out in the happiest moment of his life."

my wife understands this show perfectly, reader

[sweetlullabyebye]

gotham incorrect quotes using this generator (part 6)

Ed: Oh, here’s my award for the most rules broken!

Lee: That’s not an award, it’s an angry letter from our boss.

Ed, hanging it on their wall: Well, it has the word ‘most’ in it, so I’m calling it an award!

-

Oswald: I hate to disagree with you, but-

Barbara: Please, you love to disagree with me. Its your favorite thing to do.

-

Harvey: When I first met you, I did not like you.

Ed: I'm aware of that.

Harvey: But then you and I had some time together.

Ed: Uh-huh?

Harvey: It did not get better.

-

Oswald: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Jim, are a fucking cactus.

-

Lucius: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I think.

-

Ed: If you ever feel stupid or weak or powerless, just remember that I am not. I am out there, very dangerous, and I am looking for you. Good luck.

-

Alfred: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around?

Harvey: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction.

-

Ed: When do I get my own gun?

Harvey: I wouldn’t trust you with my kid’s lightsaber.

-

Ed, over radio: Testing. Testing. Oswald, can you hear me?

Oswald, standing next to Ed: I’m standing right here.

Ed: You’re coming through good and loud.

Oswald: Because I’m standing right here.

-

Jim, on the phone: Where are you?

Harvey: I told you, I’m at work!

Jim: Swear you’re not at Chuck E Cheese again?

*skee ball machine alarm goes off in the background*

-

Harvey: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly.

Lucius: Why not?

Harvey: Because I don't know what they mean.

-

Ed: Do you know a turtle's only weakness?

Oswald: No... well, their slowness.

Ed: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs.

Ed: Now I have a plan.

Ed: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

-

Lee, teaching Barbara to drive: Okay, you're driving and Tabitha and Butch walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?

Barbara: Oh, definitely Butch. I could never hurt Tabitha.

Lee, massaging her temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

-

Lucius: "You look tired" well, the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease.

-

Oswald: Here is my wall of inspirational people.

Ed: Is that a picture of you?

Oswald: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

-

Jim: Barbara...

Barbara: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. However, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

-

Bruce: Hey.

Selina: Hey?

Bruce: I can't sleep. :/

Selina: I can. Goodnight.

-

Lee: You’re alive.

Barbara: No need to sound so disappointed.

-

Lucius: Did it hurt when you fell-

Ed: From heaven? Foxy, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Lucius: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Ed: ...

Lucius: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

-

Jim: When I die I want everyone in the GCPD to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.

-

Lee: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it.

Jim: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.

Lee: That's not how that works-

-

Harvey: We’ll get back into there or die trying.

Lucius: No one’s dying.

Harvey: Not with that attitude.

Part 5

[reginalusus]

Do you think there have ever been a pile of circumstances that ends up with Jason taking care of Lian, but having to hand her over to Harvey because something came up, and he's like "I'll be back in an hour don't be mad at me" but when he DOES come back, Harvey's got like 600 clips in his hair, and Lian's breaking out the sparkly eye shadow (you know, the funky ones in the cute cases that are for kids) and he's just like "I hope she'll come back again" (I just think Harvey was born to be a girl dad that's really all this is) 🥹

"Here," Jason said, nudging Lian forward from the doorway. "Her name is 'Lian' by the way, not 'kid'. I'll be back in an hour, don't be mad at me, I'll get you a double choc or something, bye."

Harvey's face twisted. "Who the fuck is this?"

The doors down the hall slammed shut, signifying Jason's leave. It's that fuckin' Roy boy, I fuckin' told you. I told you. Harvey growled to himself before his eyes locked onto the young teen standing in the doorway. She gazed back, rather unphased by him. A small smile curled the edges of her lips. Peculiar. Most children gawked at Harvey like he was something from a B-Flick Horror.

Harvey slid his hands into his pockets, fidgeting with his coin, grasping at the comfort of its familiar scarring. "Ok. What do you want?"

Lian presented a horridly pink, plastic case. "Jason told me you like changing your face."

Harvey signalled to one of his bemused men standing nearby to hide Jason's Xbox. Once the thug had left, Harvey cleared his throat, his lips thin.

"Is that right, he said that, did he? What's in that case then?"

Acid vials. Stop it. Lian opened the case, revealing- oh, God. Eyeshadows. Lip balms. Was that what they were called? Of course they were. Harvey was familiar with the dark eyeshadow Bruce would smudge around his eyes. But this seemed to be advanced stuff.

"You have grey eyes," Lian pointed out.

"We do."

"Neutral colours go well with that."

"Ok."

Lian's smile bloomed. She approached casually, like she wasn't in the den of an entire underground operation, like she wasn't walking the same path where Harvey's men would drag body bags. Harvey froze. He didn't want this. It was humiliating. He hoped Jason was ready for a second death. He was going to be rendered from a Crime Lord to a-

"Pretty guy. You don't look as bad as you think," Lian hummed as she coated another layer of copper glimmer onto Harvey's good eye, almost an hour in.

Harvey grunted, his lips twitching to stop the pleased smile from forming on his face. Scarvey was screeching in his head, yes, but somehow at the moment it was easy to ignore him. Contentedness was a foreign feeling. It felt, dare he say, nice to have a youth of Gotham not be tainted by its darkness, not completely. Childlike fun seemed to be one of Gotham's folktales now. Of course, he didn't know the girl very well. She may have been hiding something behind those focused eyes. Most kids in this city did.

"You're good at this," Harvey mumbled, taking a draw of the cigarette he had lit as Lian did whatever it was she was doing.

"I know," she replied, smiling.

You look fucking ridiculous. We have looked ridiculous ever since the fucking courtroom, pipe down. Yes, Harvey may have looked quite insane with his glittering eyes and his cherry-flavoured balm and the patchy concealer under his shadowed eyes and the chalky contour that made his defined face eerily more defined and the cheap, sparkling clips in his hair that would most certainly get stuck in the gel, but if this is what a father's joy brought, he wanted more.

That was, until the shine of Jason's phone peeked around the corner of the doorway.

[caffeinatedattorney]

caped crusader spoilers!!! I need to let my half baked thoughts out. spoilers under the cut

Animation is good! voice acting is good! I love how the caracters sound!

That said, this show... is so mid. The best parts are Barbara, montoya and harley. Bruce kinda tags along which is more than fine, he's not the only character in the show but i cant help but feel like this whole elseworld thing was an excuse? they arent different enough and theres other stuff that just... didnt click with me. like, penguin looked so good but shes never mentioned outside of ep 1? she was so interesting but she feels underused??

The women in this show feel so interesting! and so fleshed out. I loved the harley & barbara & renee thing. I loved penguin, i loved selina, i loved them, i wanted to see more of them.

the other guys are fine? clayface has a similar motivation to btas and as an observation, i find that this show isn't quite btas in exploring on theme with bruce / batman but a weird mission? not necessarily a bad thing but some eps def dragged on. Again, barbara is the star of the show. she and montoya move a lot of things along.

Its weird that bullock sticks with flass for so long. Like, i guess he's a Thorne lackey first and foremost?

And DONT even get me started on Harvey. That whole schtick about him being corrupt didn't change shit, considering his ending and the way his story works, which is the same btw. he puts a dangerous person behind bars and gets Dented tm. then he has a breakdown and does fucked up shit (would've worked anyway)

and his death pissed me off because of teh above. It's like, hes not the tragic character with the abuse backstory but he changed his mind at some point about his own actions??? idk where that happened or where i was supposed to feel like he did so i just feel like the show is trying to convince me that he was good all along or that he wasnt that bad.

like a lot of things in this show are cool with harvey (the date with bruce, his explosive self loathing, his suicidal ideation, his understanding to other patients, him wanting to save people but only near the end) but the fact they have to come packaged with him being an ass that's cool with corruption feels wasted in a way. Like, you can only redeem him when he's already done horrible things and not the guy who wanted to do good (btas) and did horrible things later.

I appreciate the bruharv but his death sticks with me in a bad way. I don't feel like it's earned? its like i, as a fan, want to feel something for this harvey, but i dont. then when i think, okay, whatever, he's cool i guess, the death is there, not as a tragedy of who harvey is (and bruce seemed fine with harvey being corrupt?? he knowingly endorses him and hangs out with him?) but about bruce being so far gone he felt too close to the edge like harvey and that scared him

And its not him saying that, its alfred, who he calls pennyworth. (uh, this bruce isn't a nice bruce and while that's fine, its so... hard to sympathize with his choices sometimes)

just my two cents. I don't wanna hate this. I really don't but man, the last ep made me want to type this out.

EDIt: Love some of the design choices. Hate others. Animation is serviceable. Bruce looks so... weird to me. Harvey what i can only call eVil eyebrows and compared to everyone else they just didnt click with me unfortunately.

[enigmatist17]

Okay, I finally have all the episodes done, and man oh man do I have thoughts.

First off, I can see why people compared this a lot to BTAS, and tbf I did too, but it's just not BTAS. While it has a lot of the same vibes, it makes its own 1940's noir style, which I think really works for the most part. Gorgeous city and background, but I can see the Bruce Timm "similar faces for certain characters" thing going on, which does kind of take me out of things a little. Love the fighting, love the gore and deaths that very much feel in tune for the gritty Gotham/DC world, love some takes on early villains that I kind of hope we see later on in more seasons. Over all I think it's a solid 8/10, and I need more of this show.

So there are some...issues ---

I really didn't like how Bruce is such a dick to Alfred, like come on guys :/

I get this is the early years, and usually he's kind of standoffish, but there were a few times he was just downright nasty and I am not with that >:/

Was also not a fan of Harley's redesign and how short her arc was, she needed more time before the big reveal of how she's already down the rabbit hole, which, while that's a nice change, felt very abrupt and I don't like how that all ended with such a small amount of time to see her on the other side. I really hope she kicks ass in a potential second season, and generally I just want to see where she goes before Joker.

Not cool they made Bullock corrupt yet again, poor dude can't catch a break I stg.

ALSO WHY DID YOU KILL HARVEY/TWO-FACE ARE YOU FOR SERIOUS

WE COULD HAVE HAD THINGS MAN, WE COULD HAVE HAD SUCH A COOL FUCKING STORY WITH HIM AAAAAAAAAA

And fuuuuuuuck that reveal at the end

Onto the more positive things ---

I love love love love love the Two-Face angle they went with, where he is the non-aggressor and Harvey is the one off of his nut. It really works with how they showed him to be through the season, kind enough but 100% in it for himself/his campaign, and to let that desire and paranoia to consume him as opposed to pouring it into making Two-Face was a refreshing take for him. It's a FUCKING SHAME THEY KILLED HIM COME ON.

Really liked Nocturna(?), I know she was supposed to be in BTAS but was considered too dark for the time, so it was nice to see some concepts being shown here.

Alfred is and always will be the GOAT, that's about it for him. Same with Jim Gordon, dude was solid as he was practical, and as always I love him <3

Even though her name was dumb, I really didn't care about Oswalda being genderbent? She was ruthless and just as horrendous as I expected, and I'm here for that.

Overall I liked it, 10 episodes is far too short IMO, but hopefully we get more in the future!