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cruel-seduction · 20 days ago

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Tom Riddle Headcanon || 18+

(୨୧) 6’3 | Tall, intimidating, and he knows it. He’s tall, but not towering—it’s the kind of height that lets him loom over you just enough to make you uncomfortable in the best way. His presence is magnetic, commanding, like he’s taking up more space than he actually does. (You think you can hold eye contact with this man without second-guessing your life choices? Good luck.)

(୨୧) Lean, but it’s that sharp, calculated kind of lean. Like he was sculpted out of pure ambition and dark magic. His cheekbones? You could slice your finger on them, and his jawline looks like it was chiseled by Salazar Slytherin himself.

(୨୧) He doesn’t have He’s not bulky—oh no, Tom believes muscles are for people who need to physically overpower others. His strength is in his mind, but don’t mistake that for fragility. He’s all sharp edges and taut sinew, like a blade just waiting to cut. Tom has power. Subtle, unassuming strength that hits you when he casually pins someone to the wall or clenches his fist during an argument, making every vein in his forearm pop. (And suddenly you’re wondering if you enjoy being terrified of a man.)

WE LOVE A MAN WHO COULD STRANGLE US WITH ONE HAND AND STILL LOOK PERFECT DOING IT!!!!

(୨୧) Abs? Oh, he has them. But they’re not flashy gym-bro abs—they’re carved out of years of silent rage and perfectionism. You’d only see them under candlelight, the shadows teasing you just enough to make you question every moral fiber in your body.

(୨୧) Tom doesn’t work out. Ever. He’s too busy reading ancient texts and rewriting the definition of “overachiever.” Yet somehow, he has the kind of body that looks like it was sculpted by dark magic itself. His posture is impeccable, every movement deliberate and precise, like he’s constantly two steps ahead of everyone else.

(୨୧) Long fingers, veins visible, nails always perfectly kept. These are the hands of someone who can cast a killing curse with chilling accuracy—or caress your skin like you’re the most fragile thing in the world.

(We LOVE a man who could both destroy and cherish us with the same hands!!!)

(୨୧) His face? The blueprint for the resting evil smirk. He doesn’t even have to try to look dangerous. One glance, one slight quirk of his lips, and suddenly you’re doing whatever he wants without thinking twice. (You: “Why am I holding this cursed object?” Tom: “Because I asked nicely.” …And now you’re smiling like an idiot while the Horcrux slowly sucks away your soul. Love that for you!)

(୨୧) Hotness Level: Nuclear

Tom doesn’t just walk into a room—he owns it. His hotness isn’t in your face; it’s insidious, sneaking up on you until suddenly you’re wondering how you got trapped in his web.

His energy? He doesn’t need to ask for your soul. You’d willingly hand it over while thanking him for the privilege.

And when he’s angry? Oh, you feel it. That piercing stare, the slight tilt of his head, the way his voice drops an octave just to let you know you’ve made a very, very big mistake.

THERE’S HOT, AND THEN THERE’S TOM RIDDLE HOT—THE KIND THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR BREATHING TOO LOUDLY.

(୨୧) A Walking Manipulation Manual Tom doesn’t ask for things. He makes you want to give them to him. Every glance, every word is carefully calculated to pull you into his orbit. He’s not just charming—he’s dangerously compelling. (One conversation with him, and suddenly you’re questioning your entire moral compass. Like, “Oh, you want me to help you break into the Restricted Section? Sure, Tom. Anything for you.”)

(୨୧) Validation is His Drug Let’s be real: Tom craves approval like it’s oxygen.Tom will deny it to his last breath, but he needs to be the best. He doesn’t just want to succeed; he wants to be the only option. It’s not enough for him to win—everyone else has to lose. (And don’t get me started on how he reacts to praise. Compliment him in the right way, and you’ll see that flicker of pride in his dark eyes before he schools his face into that unreadable mask again. We love a secretly vulnerable king.) He’s spent his whole life proving he’s better than everyone else, and it’s not just for pride—it’s because he doesn’t know how to not seek validation. He thrives on being the teacher’s pet, the top student. Maybe it’s because he never got his parents validation. But trust me when I say he is a bitch for teacher’s validation. (But let’s be clear: the second you start overshadowing him, he’ll knock you down a peg faster than you can say Avada Kedavra.)

(୨୧) Control Freak Everything about Tom screams precision. His desk? Immaculate. His spells? Flawless. His plans? Perfectly executed. He doesn’t just like control—he needs it. Chaos makes him itch, which is ironic considering he’s the embodiment of quiet destruction. (And He will make sure you’re oriented too)

(୨୧) Manipulative but Subtly Possessive He doesn’t say you’re his. No, Tom makes it clear in subtler ways—like the way he rests a hand on your back just as someone else looks at you too long. Or the cold, sharp glare he gives anyone who dares speak to you without his permission. (A man who makes you feel like a queen while also terrifying everyone else around you.)

(୨୧) Unyielding Ambition Tom doesn’t just want success—he wants power. He wants to be remembered, revered, and feared. He’s the guy who’ll smile sweetly at a professor while planning to steal their research for his own gain. He has a goal. He will do anything to get there. Anything can include from threatening someone to killing someone. He is, as poet says a psycho.

Tom Riddle | The Duality

(୨୧) The Charm is a Weapon His voice? Silky smooth, with just enough edge to keep you on your toes. He’s polite, refined, and utterly disarming. But behind that charming smile is a predator watching his prey. (You’re falling for him, and you don’t even realize it until it’s too late. And honestly? You don’t even mind.)

(୨୧) Dark, Brooding, and Mysterious Tom’s the guy sitting alone in the library, surrounded by ancient tomes, quill scratching quietly against parchment. He’s untouchable, aloof, and yet somehow you can’t stop staring. (You just know he’s plotting something, and you want in on it. Even if it’s dangerous. Especially if it’s dangerous.)

(୨୧) The Possessive Gentleman He’ll hold the door open for you, pull out your chair, and offer you his arm as you walk. But don’t be fooled—this isn’t just gentlemanly courtesy. This is Tom Riddle subtly marking you as his. (Imagine him offering you his coat and then hexing anyone who dares comment on it. THAT’S the energy.)

Tom Riddle|| Personality

(୨୧) He’s the Most Dangerous Kind of Asshole—Polished and Calculated Tom isn’t like Mattheo, who might yell across the hallway for a laugh. No, Tom is refined, cold, and deliberate. When he doesn’t like you, you won’t hear him shouting about it—he’ll make you feel it. He’ll dismantle your self-esteem with just a few carefully chosen words delivered with a sharp smile. (“A shame you couldn’t understand the assignment. I suppose not everyone’s meant for greatness.” Translation: You’re an idiot, and he’s better than you.)

(୨୧) He’s Addicted to Control Every aspect of Tom’s life is planned. His work is immaculate, his appearance is flawless, and his ambitions are unshakable. He thrives on structure because chaos reminds him of what he came from—something he’s desperate to leave behind. Don’t ever try to surprise Tom; he’ll take it as a personal offense. He hates unpredictability because it’s the one thing he can’t manipulate.

(୨୧) A Master of Masking His True Self Tom can charm anyone. Teachers adore him. Classmates admire him—or at least pretend to, because who wants to get on Tom Riddle’s bad side? He wears his “perfect student” persona like armor, and it’s nearly impenetrable. (But let’s be real, you know he’s sneaking into the Restricted Section at 2 a.m., whispering spells under his breath like it’s his birthright.)

(୨୧) Unhinged Beneath the Surface Tom doesn’t snap in loud, dramatic outbursts. No, his anger is a quiet, simmering thing, so much worse because you never see it coming. He’ll stare you down with a look so cold you’ll swear the temperature dropped, and then suddenly— “I suggest you choose your next words carefully. You won’t like what happens otherwise.” (And when he does lose it? You better pray you’re not in the blast radius because that’s some “destroy-everything-in-sight” level fury.)

Tom Riddle | Relationships and Obsession

(୨୧) Emotionally Unavailable, But Intensely Possessive Tom doesn’t do feelings. Or at least, that’s what he tells himself. He views relationships like he views everything else in his life: something to control. But when he does fixate on someone? It’s all-consuming, suffocating, and terrifyingly intense. He won’t shout “you’re mine” from the rooftops. Instead, he’ll show it in the way he glances at anyone who gets too close to you, the subtle squeeze of his hand on your waist, the icy calm he maintains when someone dares flirt with you. (“You’re being watched, princess. I’d think twice before entertaining fools like that again.”)

(୨୧) Manipulative in the Most Beautiful Way Tom has mastered the art of making you think his darkest ideas are your idea. He’ll twist your words, your emotions, until you’re second-guessing yourself and believing that he’s the only one who truly understands you. (“You don’t need them. They’ll only disappoint you. I’m the one who’s always been here, haven’t I?”) (Yes, it’s toxic, but are we complaining? Nope. Absolutely not.)

(୨୧) Softness is Reserved for You and You Only Tom is cold to everyone—except you. When it’s just the two of you, he lets his walls down just enough to show you glimpses of the boy beneath the monster. He’s still composed, but his voice softens, his touch gentles. He’ll sit beside you in the library, his hand brushing yours as he murmurs, “You’re brilliant, you know. Far more than they deserve.” (That’s right. You’re his weakness, and we’re eating that up like it’s our last meal.)

Tom Riddle | Dark Habits and Quirks

(୨୧) Obsessive Overachievement If Tom gets less than perfect marks on anything, he’ll lose sleep over it. He’ll re-study every detail of the assignment until it’s engraved into his mind. (If you try to comfort him, he’ll glare and say, “Mediocrity is unacceptable.” …Okay, Tom, calm down.)

(୨୧) No Time for Fun or Friends Tom doesn’t “hang out.” He doesn’t do parties or casual drinks with the boys. His version of “fun” is solving an ancient magical riddle or perfecting a spell no one else has dared attempt. (Though I imagine he secretly finds your mundane activities fascinating. He’ll pretend he’s annoyed, but he’s watching you decorate a cake like, “How… how does one enjoy this?”)

(୨୧) Petty in the Most Refined Way Tom won’t call you out in public, but he will ruin your life in ways you don’t even realize until it’s too late. (“Oh, did you fail the test? Strange. I suppose all that time gossiping didn’t leave you much room to study.” Cue his perfect grade plastered on the board.)

(୨୧) Refuses to Eat Like a Normal Human Being He’s the type to skip meals because he “doesn’t have time for such trivialities.” When he does eat, it’s methodical, quiet, and eerily polite. (You could be scarfing down chips, and Tom’s over here delicately slicing his food into perfect pieces. Honestly, it’s infuriating and hot at the same time.)

(୨୧) When Tom Realized He Was in Love Tom was the last person to admit he was capable of love. He didn’t need it. In fact, he despised the very idea of vulnerability. At first, he simply enjoyed the control, the power he had over you, the way you seemed so easily ensnared in his web. But then something changed.

It wasn’t dramatic. No hearts aflutter, no sudden epiphany. Instead, it was little moments—the way your laugh made his heart tighten, the way his thoughts lingered on you when he was supposed to be focused on his next conquest. It started to feel like something deeper. The first sign? He found himself doing small things for you, things that felt personal—that were not for his image, but just for you.

Like when you were late for a class, and Tom “accidentally” got your notes for you—notes he knew you didn’t need but knew you’d appreciate. Or when he made sure the books you wanted were always ready for you in the library, despite the fact that he despised wasting his time on “mundane tasks.” He would act as if it was no big deal, but his eyes would linger on you a moment too long, watching you with a touch of something he refused to name.

(୨୧) When He Realized He Loved You

Tom didn’t have some grand epiphany. It was a slow, torturous process of denial. But the moment he knew? It was after you smiled at him after a particularly heated argument about something inconsequential. You stood your ground, refused to back down, and still looked at him like he wasn’t the monster he feared he was. He walked away, but later that night, when the castle was silent, he whispered the words into the dark, testing them out as if saying them aloud would make them feel less… dangerous. "I love her."

(୨୧) His “Confession” Was Terrifyingly Intense

Tom doesn’t stumble through his words like Mattheo might. No, when Tom confesses, it’s calculated and deliberate—but still deeply unsettling.

“You’ve done something to me,” he said, his voice dangerously low, his gaze piercing. “I don’t know what it is, but I can’t stop thinking about you. And I won’t. So you’re going to stay by my side, because that’s where you belong.”

(Translation: We are gonna stay together forever. And we belong with each other. )

(୨୧) Tom’s Denial and “Caring” Moments When Tom started feeling what people call “love,” he fought it. He refused to let himself admit it, convinced that emotions were a weakness. He never said “I love you”—not in the way that other people did. Instead, it was subtle. Insidious. He’d show his affection in the smallest, most frustratingly subtle ways. He wouldn’t bring you flowers or offer grand gestures. No. Tom’s “love” was found in the way he’d drag you into the darkness of the restricted section when no one was watching, the way his fingers brushed yours for a split second before he pulled away, pretending he didn’t want to touch you.

And he definitely wouldn’t say “I love you” unless absolutely necessary. He didn’t need to. His actions spoke louder.

But then, one evening, it just… slipped out. You were sitting together in his private little corner of the library, your laughter echoing in the otherwise silent space. Tom, for once, seemed genuinely relaxed, his usually tense frame at ease. He was looking at you, his gaze dark but softened—something that wasn’t there before.

“You... make everything easier,” he muttered, almost to himself. When you raised an eyebrow, he didn’t immediately elaborate. Instead, he just leaned in, his lips brushing your ear as he added, “It’s ridiculous how much I care about you.” and you just smiled and pecked his lips.

There was no "I love you," not in so many words. But you heard it, and it made your heart do something strange—flutter, maybe? But you weren’t sure if you were imagining it because Tom's voice was still so casual. Like everything he said was just... a matter of fact.

(୨୧) Praise Where It Matters Most

Tom doesn’t throw compliments around lightly. When he says something nice, it’s like being struck by lightning. His words carry weight.

“You’re brilliant,” he’d murmur, his voice low, his gaze intense. “More than anyone else here. Don’t ever let them make you think otherwise.”

(And yes, you’d be a puddle on the floor because Tom’s version of praise feels like a rare, precious gift.)

(୨୧) Tom’s Trust and Relationship Dynamics Here’s the thing: Tom doesn’t get jealous. He’s above it. It’s not in his nature. If you’re his, you’re his, and no one dares to get in the way. He doesn’t need to question your loyalty, because in his mind, the moment he chose you, he is gonna trust you more than anyone. For him you’re never at fault but the other person is gonna die. It’s not that he’s insecure—it’s that he knows you would never cheat on him. Why would you? You have everything you could ever need in him.

He doesn’t even feel the need to keep tabs on you, though don’t get it twisted—he is watching, but he does it from the shadows. If you’re not at his side, he trusts that you’ll come back. You always come back. And if you don’t, well… that’s where things get a little interesting.

He’s not showing you off like Mattheo might; he’s staking his claim.

If anyone so much as looks at you the wrong way, you’ll feel the shift in his demeanor immediately.

“Do they think they’re worthy of your attention?” he’ll whisper, his tone deceptively calm. “They’re not. Let me remind them.”

(Spoiler: He will. And it won’t be pretty.)

(୨୧) Acts of Service, But Darker

Tom will do things for you, but it’s always with a hidden motive. Did someone upset you? He’ll “take care of it.” Did you want something rare or hard to find? He’ll get it for you, no questions asked.

“Consider it handled,” he’ll say with a ghost of a smile. But you know better than to ask how he handled it.

(୨୧) The Gaslighting Is Unreal

If you ever try to put distance between you and Tom, he’ll make you question everything.

“Why would you leave? After everything we’ve built together?” His voice will crack just enough to make you hesitate.

And when you falter, he’ll pull you back in with a kiss so intense it leaves you breathless, murmuring, “I can’t lose you. Don’t you see? You’re my weakness.”

(୨୧) First Kiss

It happened in the library, of course. You were studying, lost in your notes, and he was pretending to read while stealing glances at you. He didn’t plan it, but you looked up and caught him staring.

“What?” you asked, tilting your head with that infuriatingly perfect smile.

He leaned in before he could stop himself, his hand cupping your cheek as his lips met yours. It wasn’t soft or tentative—it was intense, consuming, like he was staking a claim. When he pulled back, his expression was unreadable.

“You’ll be the death of me,” he murmured before returning to his book as if nothing had happened.

(୨୧) The Reality of Tom Riddle’s Love

With Tom, everything is earned. He doesn't just give his heart away, and certainly not without demanding something in return. But for you? You’ll always have his trust. You’ll always have his attention. You’ll always know that beneath that cold exterior, he’s obsessed.

Tom Riddle | Intimacy and the Smut

(୨୧) With Tom Riddle, intimacy is an art—meticulous, calculated, and suffused with a dark intensity that leaves you trembling in its wake. He isn’t one for rushed encounters or fleeting passions. No, when Tom takes you, it’s deliberate, almost ceremonial, like he’s claiming something he already knows belongs to him.

(୨୧) The Build-Up Foreplay with Tom is a slow burn, a game of control that he always wins. He knows exactly how to make you crave him without even laying a finger on you. His voice, low and commanding, is enough to send shivers down your spine. He has this way of leaning in close, his lips brushing against your ear as he murmurs things that are simultaneously a praise and a promise.

“You look exquisite when you’re begging, darling,” he whispers, his hand ghosting along the curve of your neck, stopping just short of touching you fully.

Tom thrives on anticipation. He’ll spend what feels like an eternity trailing his fingers across your skin, watching your reactions with a sharp, almost predatory focus. Every gasp, every arch of your body—it’s all cataloged in his mind, stored away for when he decides to unravel you completely.

The way he kisses you is enough to leave you breathless. It’s not hurried or frenzied; it’s controlled, methodical. He tilts your chin up with a single finger, his lips slanting over yours with a precision that makes your knees weak.

When he finally touches you, it’s overwhelming. His hands are strong, commanding, but there’s a certain reverence in the way he holds you, like he’s savoring every inch of your skin.

(୨୧) The Act Tom is not gentle, but he’s not reckless either. He knows exactly how to toe the line between pleasure and pain, how to push you to the edge without ever letting you fall. He’s all about control—his control over you, your body, your mind.

His stamina is almost otherworldly. Where others might falter, Tom thrives, his focus unwavering as he pushes you past your limits. He doesn’t stop until you’re completely spent, your body trembling beneath his, your voice hoarse from calling his name.

“Look at you,” he murmurs, his tone laced with dark amusement as he brushes a strand of hair from your face. “Falling apart so beautifully for me. Are you even aware of how perfect you are?”

He loves to whisper things into your ear, things that make your cheeks flush and your heart race.

“You’re mine,” he growls, his voice rough and commanding. “Every part of you. Do you understand that?”

And when you nod, he smirks, his lips ghosting over yours.

“That’s a good girl,” he murmurs, his voice soft but firm.

(୨୧) Pet Names and Praise Tom isn’t overly creative with pet names, but the ones he uses are potent.

Darling: His go-to, spoken with a dark edge that makes your knees weak.

My love: When he’s feeling particularly possessive, usually whispered against your skin.

Good girl: Said in a way that makes your heart race and your mind spin.

Perfect: Because to him, you are, and he never lets you forget it.

(୨୧) Roughness and Domination Tom doesn’t shy away from being rough. His hands grip your hips hard enough to leave bruises, his teeth graze your neck in a way that makes you shiver, and his pace is relentless. He loves the way your body reacts to him, the way you cling to him, desperate and needy.

“You can take it,” he murmurs, his voice low and commanding. “I know you can. You’re stronger than you think, my love.”

And when you finally break, when you can’t hold back the cries of pleasure that spill from your lips, Tom smirks, his satisfaction evident in the dark gleam of his eyes.

“Such a good girl for me,” he whispers, his lips pressing against your temple. “Always so perfect.”

(୨୧) Aftercare Despite his roughness, Tom isn’t cruel. Once the heat of the moment has passed, he softens ever so slightly. He doesn’t say much, but his actions speak volumes. He’ll run his fingers through your hair, his touch surprisingly tender, and press soft kisses against your forehead.

“You did well, darling,” he murmurs, his voice a low rumble. “Rest now. I’ll take care of everything.”

And he does. Because while Tom Riddle might be a lot of things—manipulative, calculating, and intense—when it comes to you, he’s nothing short of devoted.

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4drianaaaa · 6 months ago

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TOXIC | HAMZAHTHEFANTASTIC

nsfw +18 || fem reader |

WRD COUNT: 1,382

Martin and Hamzah were getting everything set up for the big surprise you were gonna give the podcast listeners

“Does she have to be here? Like we could have gotten someone else other than her.” Hamzah sighed as Martin looked at Hamzah with an unassuming expression “dude cmon she’s Mandy’s friend, get used to her.” Martin began ‘struggling’ with the mics and audio

“Yeah well I also heard she’s single and dude just tell me if you like her or something because no way you both just have random beef?” Martin snickered as Hamzah’s tongue poked the inside of his cheek as he shook his head staying completely silent.

your hatred for Hamzah has always been strong and high, you both never got to know each other as well as you thought.

You, Mandy, and Martin on the other hand were close. You’ve been friends with them for the longest before they became friends with Hamzah. You knew deep down there was a little jealousy about there new friend but obviously you wouldn’t have the balls to admit it. You were on the way to their studio to film a special podcast episode with all three of them. It obviously took a bunch of convincing from Mandy but you couldn’t say no to her.

You and Mandy ran to the iconic couch as you saw Martin holding a mic

“I think we have to go get another one. This is literally tore up” he sighed as he looked at Hamzah who furrowed his eyebrows “no?! -maybe..”Hamzah tried taking the mic out of Martin’s hands as he pulled it away “no dude don’t worry I’ll just buy another one with Mandy really quick!” He said as Mandy nodded her head repeatedly. He attempted at getting you two alone before the podcast so it wouldn’t be as bad as he was imagining it

“Yeah, it’ll be quick” she grabbed the car keys from the coffee table as Martin ran to her. You looked at Hamzah who sighed as he had a defeated look. You grabbed your phone as you noticed your phone was at 1%.

“do you have a charger?” you asked as he shook his head “no” he said bluntly, you saw a small smirk on his lips as you hissed “your so annoying”

You got up as you went into the other room looking for a charger

“dude, i never said you can go in there” he chased you as you grabbed one off a wall “it’s not that big of a deal” you yelled as he followed you to the room.

“You didn’t bring one bro sucks to be you” he grabbed the charger from you as you tried to snatch it back, “Hamzah it’s literally just a charger why are you being such a baby about it?” You growled as he grabbed your wrists and pulled you towards him “it’s my stuff and i never told you to use it!” You noticed how close the two of you were, you felt his hot skin against yours from the play-fighting

His breath hitched from you rubbing against him as your eyebrows raised.

“Y/n.” He said as you felt his hard stare and powerful grip on you as you felt your self getting hot as his eyes were glued to your face

The back of your mind was filled with thoughts that he would obviously look back at this moment and be a dick about it.

You weren’t thinking about anything else but the tension in the room. You suddenly let go of the charger from your hand, as he did too. His hands travelled around your waist as your face turned red. His hand now on the side of your face. Your hands were tugging against the string of his hoodie as his face was centimeters away from yours

“Hamzah! Cmon no time to waste!” Martins voice echoed as both of your faces were in shock, “shit, uh- stay here I’m gonna go out and then you go” Hamzah parted from your face as he held up a finger against his lips as you nodded. The door opened as you heard their muffled voices as you thought about what had just happened. You walked out as you saw everyone in their places sat down with mics in their laps, as Hamzah fidgeted with the designs on the pillow on his laps as he avoided any type of contact with you.

The whole episode it was just you, Mandy, and Martin talking except Hamzah. He would just laugh or giggle or comment on stuff Martin would say.

Once Martin and Hamzah wrapped it up you noticed how Hamzah’s eyes were just glued to you.

“Okay bye guys, good job both of you. Not a single argument!” Martin cheesed as Mandy left with him.

You are now sitting on the couch next to him as he placed his phone down on his lap

“If you’re gonna say something stupid I don’t wanna hear it” you said looking at him as he giggled “no, it’s just…sorry. Genuinely I’m sorry” he sighed as you rolled your eyes jokingly “how do I know your not joking right now” you teased as he laid his head back “what more do I need to do girl” he asked as the memory of the both of you in the room came to haunt you again. You had thoughts for sure

“Maybeee…if you buy me something?” You joked as he tsk’d “or maybeee…finish what we started?” You looked at the room as he sighed as he licked his lips

You plugged in your phone as you saw him walking into the room.

“No fuss now huh?” You questioned as he laughed “yeah yeah” he sat beside you on the couch that was in the room as his lips immediately met yours as your hand rested on his face. He slowly lifted you up on his lap as you giggled, his arms were now wrapped around your waist as you felt his hard bulge under you as the crave for him was now desperate, your soft moans worked him up even more as your lips parted catching your breath, your legs rested now on each side of his thighs as you removed your shirt leaving you in your bra as he practically drooled. His hands slip off your bra. His hands all over your waist as his tongue swirled against your hard nipples as you played with the curls that laid on top of his head

“Jesus fucking Christ” he grunted as you slowly began grinding on top of him as you fidgeted with your sweats, you got up and quickly removed your sweats leaving you in your thin panties, he placed you back on his lap as he slid down his pants to reveal the big tent on his boxers “so pretty” he whimpered as he slid down his boxers as his throbbing cock sprung onto his stomach

You on your knees above his lap as his tip circled around your clit making your knees weak “fuck Hamzah” you whined as he rubbed his tip against your slit, you held onto both of his hands as you slowly adjusted to his size, “holy fuck!” You moaned as he groaned from how tight you were. You finally took all of him as you panted “holy shit, I’ll go slowly m’kay baby” he whined as you nodded, you slowly bounced on top of him as your whines filled the room. He threw his head back as you continually bounced on his cock as small praises came out of his mouth, “Hamzah-“ you felt a knot in your stomach “yes baby fuck yes! Cmon” he whined as you moaned into his mouth as your lips met again.

“Hamzah im about to fucking come holy shit!” You cried “cmon baby fucking come all over this cock, yeah?” He panted as your lips met once again as he pounded into you hitting every single spot

Your body flopped onto him as you came all over his cock as he kissed your forehead, you felt his warm seed filling you up as you sighed and panted

“your fucking amazing y/n” he sighed as you laughed “I still hate your guts” you smirked as he laughed not knowing how you were both gonna tell Martin.

————

💌: Hey guys I’m so sorry I’ve been gone for a while but I’m gonna stop Writing for a WHILE. I’m currently on a vacay and I haven’t really gotten the time to be writing so I sincerely apologize but I will be here active just not writing! I hope yall understand, I’ll be back soon xx

#hamzahthefantastic #slushy noobz #hamzah x reader #hamzah x y/n #hamzahsmut #hamzah imagines #enimies to lovers #hamzah #4drianaaaa

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phas3d · 5 months ago

Note

Slytherin boys as gamer bfs and what games they would play with their significant other?

Gamers >:) | Slytherin Boys

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: cock fighting, animal cruelty, gambling, threats (these are all for fucking tom bc ofc it is...) - suicide joke (mattheo)

contains :: draco, tom. mattheo, theodore, lorenzo

notes :: im ngl idk half of these games in depth - i just heard and seen the sterotypes of these games - fps = first person shooter, dbh = detroit become human, abg = asian baby girl, bow = breathe of the wild ||

DRACO MALFOY sims 4 / roblox

This man sucks ass at gaming, he literally can't do it

His aim is shit, he screams when he's in a fight, and he rage quits the second he loses

So he has to stick to girly games

He has so many mods and cc for sims that it's insane

His pc runs like it's on life support because of this, pls save that poor computer

And he likes playing roblox too sometimes

But he doesn't even play the normal games

Bro plays Dress To Impress and Maple Hospital...

Like what the fuck are you doing there??? Go on BloxFruits or smth man

What's even worse is he eats EVERYONEEE up in Dress to Impress, he literally always top 3

And when he isn't top 3, he curses and swears but it doesn't go through cause tags

He literally cannot do obbys either oh my fucking god

You know that one meme of Sadness from Inside Out dropping her popcorn and someone quote-tweets it saying, "Damn she can't do anything"

That's exactly who Draco is when it comes to gaming

TOM RIDDLE dark web gambling / elden ring

Oh my fucking God this guy can't have a normal hobby ever

He doesn't game at all,,, literally just gambling bruh

He hosts illegal gambling rings online and even host some in the school basement

One time he even hosted an illegal cock ring fight...

Yes,,, he stole the chickens from Hagrid and made them fight....

He even used magic to give them powers like pokemon....

He made a fucking WATER chicken and FIRE chicken fight

Thank god he didn't actually let them kill each other, he just did it until one was near death

But back to gambling - he also manipulates people in so many ways

He casts a spell that silently chants "go all in, go all in" so it subconsciously makes people bet more

Bro even gets some students in DEBT!?!?! Like how tf did you do that and WHYYY would you do that

If someone doesn't come down to the basement in a while to gamble,,, then Tom will fix that

Besides illegal gamlbing...

He plays Elden Ring, which is pretty normal

Besides the fact that he BEAT THAT SHIT IN LIKE 2 DAYS?!!??!!?

Normally streamers, pro gamers, they all take weeks and sometimes even months just to make progress

But Tom is just,,, just better ig?

So yeah... He sticks to gambling cause every other game is just too easy for him

MATTHEO RIDDLE gta V / fortnite / rocket league / nba 2k24

God this guy is the worst sterotypical middle school boy ever

He even had the ugly ass big blue headset with the shit mic on it

Plays GTA V every now and then, only when he's angry

That's when he goes around town and just beats the shit out of everyone

Likes playing Fortnite for hours on end with his friends, mostly Theo and Lorenzo cause they can actually keep up with him (Draco is ass at FPS and

Plays rocket league and NBA 2k24 because of fucking course he does - look at him....

He's just a boy....

A really toxic one.....

Definitely screams "KILL YOURSELFFFFF!!!!!!" if he loses and honestly he's kinda real for that

THEODORE NOTT god of war / detroit become human

Loves games that have a long story

It's a good mix of story and fighting, he can't really get into pure FPS games

Have done most routes in DBH and even found easter eggs and hacks

Tries to get you into the lore as well but sometimes it goes so deep you get confused

"NO!!! Connor in route 8 is actually a pretty neutral guy and he's-"

Like bro what??? Why do you know everything about this "Connor" guy??? smh

He dabbles in some FPS sometimes, like playing Fortnite with Matt and Enzo

And he actually REALLY good

Has great aim and precision

But he just can't get into it for some reason, it's not his type

LORENZO BERKSHIRE valorant / zelda breath of the wild

I feel like Enzo playing Valorant makes so so sooo much sense

He's not AS toxic as the other guys, but he's still weird and fuck-boy-ish in his own way

Definitely plays with e-girls and tries to bag an ABG

But he gets catfished....

He's pretty good at Valorant, surprisingly

His mic stays on for every single game... Even if no one else is talking

This man will talk to a fucking wall and still be yapping

"Okay guys way I need to pee" ...

There's only bots in his server.........

He also loves RPG games and stuff like that

So BOW is perfect for him to shut off his mind and just roam and do useless tasks

#slytherin boys #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #mattheo riddle x #mattheo riddle x reader #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #lorenzo berkshire #lorenzo berkshire x reader #harry potter #harry potter x reader #gaming #slytherin headcanons #harry potter headcanon

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jazzsonly · 9 months ago

Text

instagram one shot — jenna ortega x gn!singer!reader (implied fem!reader but no pronouns used)

y/n_y/l/n: couldn’t ask for a better present

3.9 million likes

—

200k comments

user85: happy bday y/n!!

fanpage: ik the sex was fire on thier trip

↳ userO1: ????

user856: would do anything to be apart of their relationship ��🏾

jackchampion: 3rd wheeled 🙄

↳ jennaortega: you literally begged us to

user34: all these baecations but no new album 🤔😒

jennaortega: happy bday <3 you deserved this trip.

↳ y/n_y/l/n: what’d i do to deserve the most caring girlfriend

masonthegooding: actually my biological parents if anyone was wondering

jasminsavoy: love the gay vibes keep it up

devyn_nekoda: happy bday to the no. 1 jenna ortega fan everyone

↳ y/n_y/l/n: i was actually promoted to leader of the fan club

kehlani: corny ass caption

↳ y/n_y/l/n: and to think i just wrote a song for you ☹️😒

click to load more comments….

y/n_y/l/n: being this short should be illegal wtf smurf head ah

3.9 million likes

—

200k comments

masongooding: freshly baked cookies and raw steak wow 😫 my dream dinner

↳ y/n_y/l/n: you got man boobs i’d be quiet if i were you

jennaortega: 😐

↳ y/n_y/l/n: 🫠 love ya

jasminsavoy: no need for violence now…even if it is true

aaliyahortega: LMAOOOOOO

justinbieber: 😂😂

user85: ah to be in love like this

fanpage: this is weird and insulting…jenna deserves better

↳ y/n_y/l/n: smh you’re right, she should be with you instead (suck my nuts)

melissabarreram: can’t sit around and let my sister get disrespected like this

↳ jack_quaid: lol

zendaya: and i thought i was a hater

↳ y/n_y/l/n: you are…

click to load more comments….

y/n_y/l/n: i’m so fine no wonder jenna ortega be laying that thang on me like i mean she be putting it DOWN

3.9 million likes

—

200k comments

aaliyahortega: mom seen this lolllll

jennaortega: delete this ??

↳ y/n_y/l/n: when beyoncé said dance for you i ain’t know you was gonna take that to heart you did ya thang last night baby 😏😏😏

↳ natalieortega1: y/n please call me…

↳ y/n_y/l/n: yes ma’am

user85: if she ain’t like this ion want her

thestallion: iktr 😂😂

kehlani: head ah post

↳ y/n_y/l/n: always talking but never releasing music…get ya priorities straight

↳ kehlani: and who called me last night asking for help on a song?

masongooding: 😃 great post bud! very educational!

screammovies: ghostface has some questions…

melissabarreram: ?

reneerapp: conceited as always smh

↳ y/n_y/l/n: confident**

fanpage: want what they have 🥲

click to load more comments….

y/n_y/l/n: got that dog in me

3.9 million likes

—

200k comments

masongooding: bro take this shit off

↳ y/n_y/l/n: i’ll have you know jenna’s mom brought me this shirt therefore i will NEVER EVER take it off

jennaortega: that’s a bear…

↳ y/n_y/l/n: fuck around and find out 😒

justinbieber: swag swag swag

zendaya: stylin

↳ y/n_y/l/n: better than you

jasminsavoy: why is my face on your shirt?

arianagrande: met gala look book

sza: need that shirt

natalieortega1: looks good! 👍😁

↳ y/n_y/l/n: maaaa 🤍🤍

user113: this is who i stan…and i’ve accepted that

user558: always posting on ig but never in that studio 🤔

fanpage124: does anyone else think y/n tries to hard to be funny and relatable? like we get it 😂😂 you’re cool okay

↳ y/n_y/l/n: you’re broke we get it cool okay

click to load more comments….

y/n_y/l/n: last few days

3.9 million likes

—

200k comments

user113: new music? 👀

jennaortega: best cabin trip ever

masongooding: hey i was there too? where’s my pics?

↳ y/n_y/l/n: you’re my side piece yk i can’t be posting you everywhere

jackchampion: cute

↳ y/n_y/l/n: no, you!😫

aaliyahortega: she can’t play the guitar for shit

↳ jennaortega: hater

user558: literally the best celebrity couple no one can convince me otherwise

kehlani: new song so fire 🤫

rennerapp: vocals are👩‍🍳 💋

jasminsavoy: so honored to be featured on this album

↳ y/n_y/l/n: my homegirl 🤍

user114: GUYS ITS HAPPENING!!!!!

fanpage: LET’s GOOOOOOOOOO

click to load more comments….

#jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x reader #jenna marie ortega #jenna ortega #scream #scream franchise #scream six #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter

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lucifersdickriderdotnet · 4 months ago

Text

Emergency Contact

Summary: Having siblings sucks. Having siblings who are constantly getting into life threatening situations is worse. 5.9k words.

Disclaimer: as usual, if they're ooc no. uhm. Diavolo and Barbatos are here and they are referred to as Lucifer's boyfriends but it's in like a fun jokey teasing way that siblings do. except Lucifer actually is dating Diavolo in my head so. asmo and solomon ARE dating because I want them to be. maybe next time I'll make solomon date satan. you can only call a man a cute kitty so many times before people get ideas. if you couldn't tell by the title and the summary, people get #sick and break their #bones. oh. there is one (1) cannibalism joke. not demoncest just bros being bros.

Notes: this took so long because I've never written a decent ending in my life and i spent two days on it. also that anon really pissed me off for some reason idk. if you don't like how anyone is characterized write your own fanfiction man idk. solmare doesn't even have consistency with this nonsense. Lucifer is nice to his brothers in this because I want him to be. amen.

It’s a little known fact that Lucifer is everyone’s emergency contact. When it comes to those he cares about, he is protective, almost annoyingly so. So, it makes sense that the person who knows everything about everyone should be in charge if something goes awry. His phone hardly ever rings for emergencies, half because his brothers’ manage to get themselves out of trouble through a series of convoluted and confusing hijinks and half because most of them would rather eat nails than call him to tell him something is wrong. He’s even Barbatos’ emergency contact, despite the fact that Barbatos has never been sick or injured.

When his phone does ring, though, it’s almost always because someone has managed to damage themselves beyond repair, which is why he’s staring at the caller id on his D.D.D. like he can make it stop ringing if he glares hard enough.

“Lucifer Morningstar speaking,” it hadn’t stopped ringing and Diavolo had almost reached across the table to answer it for him.

“Hello this is Devildom General Hospital. We received a patient today and your name was on his–”

“Who.” It comes out dull and flat. He’s gripping his fork so hard he can hear the metal squeak.

“Excuse me?” The demon on the other end of the phone sounds perfectly polite but Lucifer is already so strung out all it does is grate his nerves.

“Who are you calling for?”

“Mam–”

“I’ll be right there,” he’s standing up in a hurry, grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair and ignoring Diavolo’s many questions as he leaves their dinner.

“Sir, if you’ll just–” he hangs up before the nurse can say anything else.

Mammon managed to break a bone or two in a scuffle he won’t tell Lucifer the details of.

“Do you know how hard it is to break a femur, Mammon?” Lucifer is gripping the steering wheel of the car so hard he’s surprised it hasn’t snapped in half.

“Pretty damn hard, all things considerin’.” Lucifer exhales sharply out of his nose and looks at his brother from the corner of his eye. He’s staring out of the window, and the white of his hair is dirty with mud and something red that Lucifer knows didn’t come out of his skull but worries him regardless.

“Mammon, this isn’t something to joke about.”

“I know,” he taps the hard cast of his leg with a bruised knuckle, “‘m the one with the broken bones.”

“If you know why are you doing it?” Lucifer can’t stop his voice from raising a few decibels towards the end of his sentence and has to mentally count to ten to not start screaming.

“‘Cause I just got the shit beat outta me ‘n’ I don’t wanna listen to yer lecturin’.” Mammon finally turns his head to stare at Lucifer and the elder looks away from the road for a second to meet his eyes. It’s not often that Mammon genuinely argues with him, not often that Mammon gets mad enough to let the blue of his eyes light with fury. Whatever happened tonight was not something that he wanted to happen, and it’s not something he needs a scolding for.

There’s a tense silence where Lucifer sighs and then flicks the turn signal, sliding across the lanes of traffic to take Mammon somewhere else before they go home.

“Did you win?” He’s pulling into Madame Screams’ drive through when he asks.

“‘Course I did.”

“Good.”

They both silently agree not to tell the rest of them about their little pit stop, and it’s as Lucifer’s pulling into the garage that he turns to his brother.

“Mammon.” A hum sounds from the passenger seat. “Next time, call me yourself. I don’t want it to be the hospital unless you’re physically incapable of talking.”

“Roger that.”

—

Lucifer is not known as the most comforting of his brothers. The six of them tend to rely on each other for that, going to Mammon or Beel if they have emotional troubles. Lucifer, as the oldest, is good for cleaning up messes. Putting things back together and making it look like nothing was ever amiss in the first place. It’s his job to protect them, from the world and from themselves, and he takes it seriously. Still, despite his brick wall in place of a heart and his general ineptitude when it comes to being affirming in any sense, he is not incapable of helping his brothers out of a tight spot. He’s just not preferred.

“Lucifer,” Levi’s voice is shaky and stuttering on the other end of the phone. He knew something was wrong when his phone started ringing in the middle of class. His brothers all know how much he hates distractions during class time, just like they know when he has a class so they don’t bother him. He knew something was worse when it was Levi’s name flashing across the screen. Levi refuses to call any of them unless the world is ending. He knew something was horrible when he remembered that today was one of the few days that Levi is mandated to come to campus.

“Yes?” He’s already left class walking down the hallway towards the abandoned wing where he knows Levi is. He keeps his steps measured and even, keeps his breathing calm. It won’t do to have two of them panicked at the same time.

“Are you busy?” They both know the answer to that question, just like they both know he’s going to lie.

“You caught me in the middle of a break. Why?” He tests the door handle for the swimming pool. Closed for renovations, the sign says. The same thing it’s said for the past several millennia. The door swings open without any effort on his part, the magic seal already broken before he got here.

“Would you like to go for a swim?” There’s a splash on the other end of the line. Lucifer snorts.

“I’m not one for water.” There’s silence and another splash and Lucifer lets out a heavy sigh. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Yay,” Levi says, soft and timid, and Lucifer can see him now, all of him, filling up the entire pool. He doesn’t get in yet, just removes a glove and sticks a finger in the water to let Levi know he’s here. He watches as the miles and miles of indigo scales shift and slide along each other until he’s face to face with thousands of sharp teeth.

“You’re going to break the pool again,” is what he says, voice dry. He sputters indignantly when that earns him salt water to the face. He’s soaked now, head to toe and he’s going to miss these shoes.

“Oops.” Levi’s voice is sprinkled with something mirthful, no longer halfway to tears as it was just a moment ago. “Get in. The water’s nice.”

“Yes,” Lucifer swipes a hand across his face to push his bangs back. Salt water drips into his eyes anyway. “I can see that.”

Levi giggles and his face moves away, body coiling in, on, and over itself, too big to fully fit in the pool.

“You said you’d swim with me.”

“Yes. I suppose I did.”

Truthfully, Lucifer doesn’t like swimming. He is not a bird that is built for water, and getting wet usually means being cold and grounded for a while. Truthfully, he’d rather finally open one of the many letters Michael has sent him over the years. Truthfully, he would do anything for his brothers. Truthfully, Lucifer doesn’t think he’ll fit, but a promise is a promise, so he slides out of his uniform and climbs in.

Levi doesn’t ever tell him what made him so upset he rebroke R.A.D. 's pool, but he does leave a box of Princess’ Poison Apples on his desk the next morning, so Lucifer sets his sights on re-fixing the swimming pool. Maybe this time he’ll convince Diavolo to make it bigger.

—

Satan would rather rip his own teeth out with nothing but a Q-tip and a single milligram of ibuprofen to numb the pain than ever ask Lucifer for help. Their relationship is getting better, he will admit, but he’s filled with a rage towards the oldest that could melt even the strongest of metals, and it will take a while to temper the flame. So, no, he will not ask Lucifer for help, but, if he’s annoying enough about it, Lucifer will fix it anyways.

He starts by mentioning it to Asmo, squinting at him and saying that no, he can’t tell if Asmo’s eyeliner is uneven, because he can’t see.

“Can’t see?” Manicured fingernails are digging into his cheeks as Asmo grips his face and moves his head from side to side. He has to shelve books in his mind’s inner library to not rip his brother’s face clean off his head.

“Doesn’t look like cataracts or anything,” Asmo hums, dropping his face. Satan massages his jaw slightly. “What do you mean you ‘can’t see’?”

“I meant what I said. Your face is slightly blurry and I can’t tell if your eyeliner is even because it just looks like a blob. Ergo. I can’t see.” Satan crosses his arms over his chest and dodges Asmo’s subsequent grabs for his face.

“Oh,” a snort, “you probably need glasses.” He turns back around to his vanity and Satan has to stop himself from saying no shit out loud.

“Glasses are for losers.”

“Lucifer wears glasses.”

“My point exactly.” Asmo twists his lipstick back down before popping the cap on and pulling open a drawer. He gestures for Satan to look inside and he does and–

“I didn’t know you wore contacts.”

“Not very many people do. Mammon has glasses too, you know. He’s sensitive to bright lights. The sunglasses indoors are not just a poor fashion statement,” Asmo sighs and shakes his head, like the image of Mammon wearing his sunglasses inside brings him physical pain. “And, I think Levi has some because all of those screens destroyed his rods and cones.”

“Oh. I’m sorry for calling you a loser.” Asmo waves him off.

“The point, Bitty, is that you wouldn’t be the first.” It wouldn’t be just you and Lucifer is what he’s saying. Satan nods and then frowns.

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

“Why?” Asmo reaches over to poke his cheek. He narrowly avoids getting a finger bitten off. His voice rises several octaves, turning into a coo. “You’re just an itty bitty baby– Ow, dammit fine.”

He then proceeds to complain about it as loudly as possible, as frequently as possible. No, he can’t help Mammon with his homework, the words are bleeding together. Yes, he does have to sit front and center now because otherwise the board is unreadable. No, he did not catch that last slanderous missive about Lucifer in the R.A.D. Newspaper because he couldn’t read the draft that was sent to him for editing. (He made Belphie read the drafts to him out loud and thought that the article was funny.)

“Satan,” everytime Lucifer has to talk to him he looks constipated and it makes Satan laugh inside.

“Big Bother.” Lucifer’s eye twitches.

“You have an appointment with the optometrist. Get in the car.” Satan sets his book down.

“Can’t Mammon take me?” He doesn’t want Mammon to take him. Still, it’s funny to see the vein pop on Lucifer’s forehead.

“... Get in the fucking car.”

Satan plays heavy metal in the car because he knows Lucifer hates it and makes him sit in the lobby during the actual check up because he thinks it’s funny to watch his leg bounce up and down. (And because Lucifer gets a copy of all of their medical records anyway. The freak probably checked Satan’s eyes himself while he was sleeping and already knows his prescription.)

“Those glasses look nice on you,” is all Lucifer says when he picks out the frames.

“I changed my mind. I hate these ones.” (He doesn’t.)

—

He’d been in his room, up to his eyes in paperwork when his phone rang. It’s not unusual for Asmo to call him, the younger always wanting to chat and gossip for as long as Lucifer will pretend to listen, but it is unusual for him to call in the middle of an Asmo Night.

“Hi Asmo, what–”

“Lucy!!” He has to pull the phone away from his ear to avoid rupturing the drum.

“I believe I have asked you not to–”

“Hey! Give me my–” There’s a scuffle on the other end before a voice that Lucifer recognizes as Solomon’s starts speaking.

“Lucifer! I believe Asmodeus has had enough for tonight and needs to be deposited home. I would do it myself, but as per our agreement, I am not allowed–”

“Within twenty feet of my front door. Yes, I know. I’ll come get him. Please keep him out of trouble until I get there.” He rubs the bridge of his nose before standing up and making his way to the door.

“Wonderful! Now, about that pact–” Lucifer hangs up before Solomon can finish the question and hits Levi’s door on the way down the stairs.

“Bed, Leviathan.” There’s a small squeak in response. “Or at least pretend to be sleeping. I can hear your game from out here.” The RPG music leaking from Levi’s room into the hallway quiets drastically.

He stops by the kitchen to find Asmo his crackers and a bottle of water before leaving, instructing Beel to carry himself and Belphie to bed on his way out.

Lucifer does not like parties. He thinks they are loud and annoying and too many people try to get handsy with him when really all he wants is to drink his Demonus in peace. He’s dealing with that now, batting off people’s hands and ignoring requests for a night alone as he makes his way to Asmo’s booth.

“Asmo,” Solomon’s voice is soft and fond as he rouses Asmo from a short nap, “Lucifer’s here. It’s time to go.”

“Mmkay.” Asmo rubs his eyes and gives Solomon a peck on the lips that Lucifer has to fight the urge to gag at. He crawls out of the booth and grabs Lucifer’s hand, and somehow the crowd parts to let him past with no fuss. They barely make it outside before Asmo is hurling all over the sidewalk and Lucifer is remembering that Asmo smells like warm, sugared peaches.

Asmo smells like peaches. Allegedly, he smells like whatever is the most alluring to you, but Lucifer thinks he has always smelled like peaches. He smells like the holy peach cobbler that Michael used to make in the Celestial Realm. Asmo smells like the peach flavored macarons that Barbatos makes when he and Lucifer have tea. He smells like the Georgia peaches the human made him try once. Asmo smells like peaches, he smells like home and love and care, and you would have to hold Lucifer at gunpoint to get him to admit this to his brother.

And now, Lucifer is getting a face full of that smell mixed with vomit as Asmo leans over a bush and loses whatever meager dinner Beel had shoved in him as well as half his body weight in alcohol. There’s a flash from the corner of his eye and he makes a mental note to follow up on that.

“It will sound hypocritical coming from me,” he starts and is promptly interrupted by another retch.

“Then don’t–good Diavolo, that tastes awful–say it.” Asmo takes the water bottle that Lucifer dutifully hands him and rinses his mouth out.

“Are you done?” Lucifer starts fishing around his jacket pocket for a pack of Asmo’s favorite crackers. They taste like flowers, allegedly, and they're one of the few things that Beel genuinely doesn’t like to eat.

“For now.” Asmo takes the crackers and starts munching on them gratefully, leaning heavily into Lucifer’s side as they both walk home.

“Thank you for coming,” he says. Lucifer scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“I would never leave one of you alone.”

“Aww, that’s so–”

“The paperwork alone would take at least a decade.”

“Nevermind.”

If Lucifer hunts down the demon who took the picture and threatens them within an inch of their life, that’s between him and his Father. And if Asmo finds out and gives Lucifer a hug at breakfast the following morning, that’s between him and Mammon’s camera roll.

—

Lucifer hates Fangol. Well, that’s not true. He admires the dedication someone has to have to play it and to play it well. He admits that sometimes it’s fun to go to games and get caught up in the hype of the crowd. He also likes that it makes Beel happy. What he doesn’t like is sitting in the stands as his second youngest brother makes a game winning play and then gets tackled onto the turf so hard you can hear the sound his head makes when it hits the ground.

The crowd goes silent and the players and the band take a knee and Lucifer is half dragging half carrying Belphie down the stands to the ambulance as the EMT’s check over their brother.

“Sir, I understand–” The paramedic cuts themself off when they see whose shadows are looming over them. They heave a sigh and gesture to a patch of grass near where they have Beel laying on a gurney. “Try to avoid being in our way.”

It’s a fight to keep Belphie from being underfoot, but there isn’t one when Lucifer says he’s riding in the ambulance with Beel to the hospital. Only a curt nod and then a muttered threat in his ear that he rolls his eyes at and then their off.

“Sorry.” It’s the first thing out of Beel’s mouth after he’s done being asked routine questions.

“It’s not like you asked to receive a concussion.”

“We don’t know that it’s a concussion,” Beel says, wagging his finger slowly. Lucifer rolls his eyes.

“You told the paramedic you wanted to throw up and pass out at the same time.”

“Average Beelzebub activities.” It makes Lucifer snort, lips twitching up into a smile.

“That is the exact opposite of a Beelzebub activity. You’ll be okay, though.” The you have to be goes unsaid.

It turns out to be a concussion and Beel is barred from playing for a while and then everything is fine.

Lucifer has changed his mind, he definitely hates Fangol. He has half a mind to ban Beel from ever playing it again, but if he didn’t have something to focus his energy on, they wouldn’t have a House to live in.

He stayed home from the game, wanting to relax, for once, with a new cursed record and a bottle of his prized Demonus. He might have also paused the record to watch the stream of the game on his phone, but that’s neither here nor there. He’s busy cussing out one of the commentators for their clear bias against Beel–they haven’t been angels in literally thousands of years, people need to find a new excuse–when it cuts suddenly from a replay of the last down to a live feed from the field. And then his phone rings.

“Mammon,” he already knows what happened before he picks up.

“I know ya said not ta call ya tonight, but,” he sounds haggard, and his accent gets thicker when he’s panicking, “ya also said not ta let the hospital call ya so–”

“Mammon,” it comes out snappier than he wants it to and he has to soften his voice when he opens his mouth again, “breathe. What’s happened?”

“Dear Father who art in Heaven–” Lucifer curses again because Mammon only reverts to praying when something is seriously wrong. “Beel got tackled ‘nd– Lucifer, ya could hear the crunch from Diavolo’s good seats.” Lucifer sucks in a breath and considers sending up a couple prayers himself.

“I’m on my way. Beel will– Beel will be okay, Mammon. He’s strong.” He hears Mammon’s assent from the other end of the line just as he hears Levi mumble something to Mammon.

“Oh, yer kiddin’.”

“What? Mammon, what’s going on?”

“We can’t fin’ Belphie.”

“Shit.”

If Lucifer breaks traffic laws on his way to the stadium, no one who pulls him over will be able to make anything stick for very long. He watches as the ambulance pulls away and his D.D.D. buzzes with a message.

Mams

I went with Beel. Everyone’s still tryna find Belphie.

“Lucifer–” he’s met with an armful of brothers before he can put his phone back in his pocket and he’s not strong enough to pretend he doesn’t want to hug them back.

“Did you find–”

“No, obviously not Levi, he just fucking got here.”

“Satan, now is not the time–”

“I’ll decide when the fucking time is, Asmo. Did you see what they did to our–”

“Yeah, I was sitting right next to you. You’re not the only one who’s upset–”

“Guys,” Lucifer raises his voice above their arguing. “Now is not the time.” He hands Diavolo his keys, grateful, for once, at his many attempts to bond with his brothers. “Will you please take them to the hospital? I have a brother to find.”

It doesn’t take him long to find Belphie, but it does take a toll on his knees.

“Belphegor.” He wonders how the youngest climbed on top of the press box without anyone noticing.

“The stadium lights are too bright,” Belphie says, “you can’t see the stars. They drown them out. It’s a bad omen, Lucifer.”

“Belphegor, please come back down.”

“I can’t see them, Lucifer.” His voice is thick with tears.

“They’re still there, Belphie. I promise.”

“We made them together, and I can’t see them.”

“If you come back down we can visit Beel and the two of you can find them together.” Diavolo’s Father help him, he is not climbing on top of that box to bring Belphie down himself.

“Promise?”

“On my life.”

The bad thing about the press box for the R.A.D. stadium, is that the ladder has rusted away. People never go on top of it to watch or film the game anymore because they started to use magic to get the good camera angles. The bad thing about the press box is that when Belphie makes to climb down he slips and has nothing to grab and lands on the concrete stadium seating with a snap that makes Lucifer’s stomach churn.

“I can’t believe you fell while getting down. That’s like, one hundred times easier than goin’ up.” Mammon is beside himself with laughter while he doodles on Belphie’s cast.

“Haha. Laugh it up Mammon. When I’m out of this thing, I’m going to break every bone in your body.” Mammon rolls his eyes at Belphie’s threat.

“The witches have used that one before. Try again.”

“What are you, a magic eight ball?”

“Reply hazy. Try again later.”

“You know,” Asmo says from his spot opposite Mammon, doodling on Beel’s cast, “it is kind of cool that you guys managed to break the same bone.”

“It’s because we’re twins.” Beel says, smiling brightly.

“Yeah,” Satan snorts, “or cause you’re both stupid.”

“I’m just glad you’re both okay,” Levi cuts in before Belphie and Satan can start in on each other.

“Indeed. Although, I believe it’s best that Fangol is heading into its off season.” Lucifer says, and there’s noises of agreement throughout the room.

—

It’s a simple fact of life that Lucifer doesn’t get sick. The Demon King is asleep, the Earth’s year is 365 (365.25) days long, the Crown Prince of the Devildom hates pickles, Michael is a massive loser, and Lucifer doesn’t get sick. He does not get sick or injured or cursed or hexed or anything of the sort because he does not have the time. Except. Except he is most definitely sick right now.

Belphie realized something was wrong when Lucifer didn’t come down for breakfast. He’s a stickler for meal times, always wanting them to share a meal together. Something about family and tradition and will you just do what I say for once that Belphie doesn’t care about or want to listen to. He comes to breakfast and dinner and lunch on the weekends anyway, because Beel does, not because Lucifer wants him to. So, when he looks up from his spot at the table, the cloth permanently drool stained despite the oldest’s best efforts, and watches all of his brothers leave except Lucifer, he gets confused.

“Beel,” he asks, tilting his head just so, “did Lucifer have a meeting today?” Usually he would tell them. Several times throughout the week if it was planned and then again in the morning before he leaves. He’s weird like that, he doesn’t like not knowing where everyone is. Belphie thinks he’s a control freak, even if he finds knowing his brother’s whereabouts comforting.

“No,” Beel says this around a mouthful of muffin, “I don’t think so.”

“Hmm. Well. I guess we’ll see him at school.”

They do not, in fact, see him at school. Mammon shares first period with him, which means he can never skip the first hour and a half of R.A.D. Except today, there’s no harsh pokes in his back whenever he starts to zone out, and there’s no pointed coughs when he pulls out his phone and starts playing games. He looks around and there’s no Lucifer.

Demon Brothers

Mams: ayo. where is. lucifer.

Catan: he’s not in class?

Mams: if he was I wouldn’t be askin.

Catan: the phone screen makes you bold, brother. watch yourself.

Mams: o7 aye aye cap’n.

Beel: Belphie says he wasn’t at breakfast either

Mams: is belphie’s phone broke???

Beel: he says typing is too much effort

Mams: understandable have a nice day

Asmo: o.o Lucifer not at breakfast? But he’s always weird when we miss it!

Catan: typical Lucifer hypocrisy

Levs: you know he can still read this chat right?

Catan: when has that ever stopped me -_-

Levs: you guys have hit like all of the Summoning Lucifer Bullet Points

Levs: 1. Mention his name fifty times

Levs: 2. Blow up his phone

Levs: 3. Text during class time

Levs: 4. Slander him at least once

Levs: 5. Ask about his private business/goings on

Beel: and yet

Mams: no Lucifer

The real header comes during the afternoon, when Lucifer doesn’t show up to the scheduled Student Council Meeting.

“Alrighty!” Diavolo says, chipper as ever, “when Lucifer gets here, we’ll start the meeting. He has all of the paperwork, anyway.”

So they wait. And they wait.

“Yo, dude,” Mammon calls to Diavolo and he turns his head, Barbatos coughs into his fist at the lack of formality. “I don’t think Lucifer is gonna show.”

“Yeah,” Belphie yawns, “he wasn’t in school today, either.”

“Or at breakfast, apparently.” Levi says, though it’s hard to hear him over the music of his game.

“That is. Odd. Is he still at home, then?” Diavolo pulls out his phone and starts texting.

“No use,” Asmo says, “we’ve been bothering him all day.”

“Privately and in the group chat,” Satan adds. “Though, he may not have opened my messages because they were all cursed.”

“He didn’t open mine either,” Beel says. “I think he’s just been off his phone.”

“Unusual,” Barbatos says, stepping out of his shadowy corner. “Perhaps something is amiss?”

“With Lucifer?” Asmo sounds incredulous, lowering his compact just long enough to arch an eyebrow at the butler before tapping more powder on his face. “Nothing is ever wrong with Lucifer.” Belphie yawns before nodding in agreement and adding his own two cents.

“Even when we curse him things aren’t wrong. He always manages to make it seem so … normal.”

“I remember that time his pants kept falling down,” Levi says. “I thought it would make him less intimidating. I was wrong.” He shudders. “Very wrong.”

“Then why isn’t he here?” Barbatos says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why does he do anythin’?” Mammon stands up as he says this, grabbing his bag and his phone and making his way towards the door. “Lucifer does what he wants and shows no remorse for it.” There’s a pause where he remembers the Fall. “Mosta the time.”

“Well, if we aren’t going to do anything,” Asmo’s compact shuts with a click, “I have people to do and things to see.”

“It’s ‘things to do and people to see’, Asmo,” Satan says, following his brothers out.

“I know what I said.”

Barbatos and Diavolo watch as the brothers leave, one by one, all citing different excuses before sharing a look.

“Is it rude to stop by people’s homes uninvited, Barbatos?” Diavolo asks, pushing his chair back.

“Yes. But in cases where Lucifer is concerned, manners and politeness have never stopped you, my Lord.” Barbatos follows behind the Prince, steps silent in contrast to the clacking of Diavolo’s shoes on the Academy’s stone floors. Diavolo’s laugh echoes throughout the hallway.

“I suppose you’re right. Come, I believe I must pay a visit to my right hand.”

“Always.”

The House is cold when Diavolo gets there. He can hear Beel rummaging in the kitchen, and Belphie’s soft snores accompanying him. He can hear Levi and Mammon fighting over something and he can hear the thud of books falling over in Satan’s room. He can hear Asmo because Asmo greets him when he enters.

“Oh, hey!” He waves excitedly, before pointing at his feet. “Which shoes do you think look better with this outfit?”

“I think they both look nice,” Diavolo replies and Asmo pouts.

“Not helpful.”

“The ones on your left, Asmodeus.” Barbatos’ eyes peer from behind Diavolo’s shoulder and Asmo smiles in response.

“Thanks! Hey,” he tugs the shoe on his right foot off and tosses it into a pile next to the door before grabbing his left foot’s twin from seemingly nowhere, “you guys didn’t see Solomon out there, did you?”

“I thought I told you that he isn’t allowed within twenty feet of the front door.” Lucifer’s normal baritone is raspy with sickness, vocal cords raw from coughing.

“He’s not going to be within twenty feet. He’s going to stand an inch outside of the barrier.” Asmo turns and places his hands on his brother’s shoulders, spinning him around and pushing him back towards the living room. “I also thought I told you to lie down and sleep. I suppose we both aren’t good at listening, hmm?” Lucifer grumbles at him despite following Asmo’s guidance to the couch.

“I heard the door open.” Diavolo follows the duo towards the living room, Barbatos his ever present shadow.

“There are six other people who can answer it.” He watches as Asmo pushes Lucifer into a sitting position and shoves blankets around him.

“That’s what I worry about.” Asmo rolls his eyes.

“Stop being a baby and just lay down. How can you catch Mammon and string him up by his toenails if you can’t go a second without coughing?”

“I can,” Lucifer pauses to cough, “I can take any one of you down, even in this weakened state.”

There’s a snort from the entrance to the kitchen as the twins walk in, Beel carrying soup and Belphie carrying nothing.

“You couldn’t block even the lowest level curse from Satan at this rate.” Belphie says, curling up on the couch next to Lucifer and resting his head on his lap.

“I could–”

“You’re very strong, Lucifer,” Asmo placates, patting his older brother’s head condescendingly. “Now, eat your soup and shut up. I have a date to get to and I’m running late.”

“Maybe I should cough on you so you can’t go anymore.” The threat is empty, but Asmo’s smile still sharpens in response.

“Maybe I should take a seam ripper to all of your clothes,” he turns on his heel. “Oh, also. Diavolo is here.” The responding squawk Lucifer lets out sends him into another coughing fit, one that disrupts the sleeping Belphie on his lap.

“My Lord,” Lucifer makes to get up and is physically yanked back down by Belphie, “I apologize for not greeting you earlier.”

“No worries! You didn’t show up to the meeting today, and you weren’t answering your phone, so I stopped by to see how you were.” Diavolo gestures to the bottles of cold medicine on the coffee table and the bowl of soup being shoved at Lucifer by Beel. “It seems you are all taken care of.”

“Indeed. I appreciate your concern–”

“Beel, Lucifer’s boyfriend was worried about him. Isn’t that sweet?” Beel nods at Belphie’s joke, resting his head against the side of Lucifer’s knee from his newly acquired spot on the floor.

“The sweetest. Someone tell Asmo he’s being beaten in the best boyfriend competition.” There’s twin thunks as Lucifer smacks the both of them on the head, face now flushed with something other than fever.

“That’s enough out of you two.” He sighs and looks back up at Diavolo and Barbatos. “Would the two of you like to stay for dinner? Satan’s in charge tonight and he likely won’t poison it since I’m too ill to eat much of anything.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you.” Diavolo sits in an empty armchair that he thinks is Lucifer’s regular seat when his phone buzzes.

Emergency Chat ONLY

Belphie: hey satan, lucifer’s boyfriend is staying for dinner

Catan: man. now I can’t put this human world poison I found in it.

Belphie: probably wouldn’t work anyway

Beel: Barbatos is also staying

Belphie: my apologies Beel. you’re right

Belphie: lucifer’s boyfriendS are staying for dinner

Levs: this is great

Levs: I wanted to talk to Diavolo about the new chapter of the manga we’re reading

Mams: the rule is no loser talk at the dinner table

Levs: why do you open your mouth so much then

Mams: i’m gonna fucken get you

Asmo: if Lucifer gets to bring his boyfriends why can’t i bring Solomon

Catan: because Solomon sucks.

Catan: actually

Catan: would Solomon be able to con a fever high Lucifer into a pact

Mams: the downside here is that Solomon would be at dinner

Beel: I’d lose my appetite

Asmo: he’s not that bad

Asmo: and don’t lie Beel

Asmo: we aren’t going to let him cook

Asmo: we aren’t stupid

Lucifer: This chat is for emergencies only.

Belphie: i know. that’s why we’re discussing dinner

Lucifer: If I see Solomon anywhere near the House I will find a way to reverse his immortality.

Catan: wear a blindfold

Asmo: kinky

Catan: freak

Lucifer: I believe I also told you to stop referring to Diavolo and Barbatos as my boyfriends.

Mams: sucks 2 suck

Levs: L moment

Lucifer: I also believe they are in this chat.

Belphie: i know. that’s why we’re discussing dinner.

Belphie: keep up old man

Lucifer: I will remind you that you’re laying in my lap.

Belphie: what’re you gonna do

Belphie: cough on me??

Levs: chat, clip this

Mams: what was that scream???

Diavolo: Belphegor.

Barbs: Lucifer did more than just “cough on him.”

Mams: oh damn.

Mams: so what’s for dinner

Beel: Lucifer says Belphegor stew

Mams: I thought it was Satan’s turn to cook????????

Catan: lucifer just tried to shove belphie in the oven.

Barbatos: With no seasoning? How revolting.

Diavolo: Demons taste better fried, anyway.

Mams: PARDON???

202 notes · View notes

mulletmitsuya · 5 months ago

Text

Tokyo revengers groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mommy issues, mentions of deceased mothers, brother issues (akashi's), mentions of physical abuse, mentions of suicide, depending on what kind of person you are, this might be kinda dark

Side note: i think i may be projecting too many of my headcanons on these people so i apologize for mischaracterizations😔🙏

Desc: it's Shinichiro's birthday!! (sneaking in the fact that it's also mine and i'm 19 today😋)

Izana: happy birthday Shinichiro

Izana: everyone's gonna say the same thing so i don't think there's a need for an influx of happy birthday messages

Izana: just dm, to prevent a pointless conversation

Shinichiro: aw thanks Izana😁❤

Mikey: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Mikey: ANOTHER YEAR OF BEING A VIRGIN🙏🔥

Baji: you're such a loser man

Baji: with all due respect and no offense of course

Baji: happy birthday tho

Mitsuya: aren't you a virgin, Mikey?

Mistuya: a bit hypocritical

Mitsuya: happy birthday Shinichiro-san

Mikey: i had sex once, and meh

Mikey: 5/10

Mikey: being confronted with someone's dick and balls was crazy

Mikey: and i have mommy issues so i don't think it's a good idea for me to sleep with a woman

Mikey: but i would like to lay on one's chest as they sing me to sleep

Baji: what does that have to do with anything

Draken: no one asked you for any of that information, just so you know

Mikey: your mom asked me

Mikey: oh, sorry😔

Mikey: they wasn't even part of the joke. i'm genuinely apologizing😔

Emma: Mikey!

Emma: you know that's a sensitive subject 😠

Draken: not really, to be honest

Senju: why's it a sensitive subject

Emma: his mother left him

Senju: ...

Senju: Emma why would you tell me that

Mitsuya: i think we should word this differently or not talk about it, maybe

Mikey: Mitsuya's right, as always (boring 🙄)

Mikey: but Emma☠️?

Senju: yours left too girl

Emma: well i know that, so i'd be sad if someone made a joke about it

Emma: and so did yours🤨?

Senju: death is different. your mom CHOSE to leave you

Senju: skill issue

Senju: was that too far? maybe

Draken: guys

Chifuyu: ok guys let's calm down

Emma: of course a person with a mother would say that 🙄

Chifuyu: ...sorry

Emma: just jokes Fuyu😚

Baji: don't apologize Chifuyu, not our fault we have mom's

Baji: suck it, losers

Mikey: i really didn't mean to start all this, my bad

Draken: it's not a big deal😐

Draken: and Shinichiro-san, happy birthday, but you're still a virgin?

Draken: i'm not judging or anything. i just find it impressive

Draken: all the other stuff is overrated

Emma: 🤨

Emma: we'll talk about that later

Emma: are you actively practising abstinence?

Emma: i couldn't

Emma: not with Ken-chan around, at least😋

Draken: dude

Draken: your entire family is here

Emma: don't call me dude☹️

Draken: okay

Draken: babe

Draken: your entire family is here

Emma: so?? they know we have sex

Emma: how else would we try to have a kid?

Draken: bro...

Mikey: KEN-CHIN KILL YOURSELF☹️👎

Izana: Emma was underage when you got together

Izana: something to think about, Draken

Draken: i was too???

Takeomi: who the hell are you

Draken: me?

Takeomi: obviously not you

Takeomi: "Izana"

Takeomi: who is that

Shinichiro: this is Izana, Omi

Takeomi: i fucking know that Shinichiro

Takeomi: why are you all so stupid

Baji: why are you brining your sour mood here

Baji: go die

Baji: no offense

Mitsuya: you can't keep saying bad things then saying no offense

Mitsuya: it literally doesn't mean anything

Shinichiro: i said i had another little brother remember?

Shinichiro: before Emma was a Sano, she was a Kurokawa. this is Izana Kurokawa

Takeomi: your dad was a man whore. respect

Shinichiro: dude, ew?

Izana: technically i'm no ones sibling because my mom lied to your guys' dad about being my father so i'm actually not related to any of you. not really supposed to be here

Mikey: dude give that up. we don't care 🙏

Izana: i was just clarifying

Emma: Izana-nii you know it makes Shin sad when you say that☹️

Izana: i was stating facts, but alright

Haruchiyo: happy birthday Shinichiro

Baji: you never speak on this group but oh, let the topic be about Mikey

Baji: all of the sudden it's a yappathon

Baji: "i wish Mikey would stick it in!"

Haruchiyo: I'VE NEVER SAID THAT

Haruchiyo: and i'm speaking now, aren't i😐

Mikey: Baji leave Haruchiyo alone

Mikey: you're the one always scaring him away😔👎

Mikey: hi Haru😋

Haruchiyo: hi Mikey 🙂

Kazutora: happy birthday Shinichiro-san

Kazutora: um, sorry about... the incident

Mikey: (i told you not to talk about that in front of people, Tora💀)

Draken: PUTTING A SENTENCE IN BRACKETS DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE WHISPERING

Draken: STOP DOING THIS

Senju: what incident

Kazutora: uh

Kazutora: almost killing him

Shinichiro: buddy, i know you didn't mean to do that. it's all good

Kazutora: no, i fully intended to kill a person

Kazutora: it just wasn't meant to be you

Kazutora: and for that i apologize

Shinichiro: oh...

Shinichiro: well at least you don't have those murderous thoughts anymore, right? let's dwell on the positive 😁

Kazutora: i do have those thoughts

Baji: you don't always have to tell the truth man

Mikey: dude☠️

Kazutora: but they're about my father, mostly

Kazutora: i look exactly like him, so looking in the mirror is hard sometimes

Kazutora: i'm not allowed to kill myself, but killing him would be close enough

Kazutora: but i can't. because of the law

Draken: dude, are you okay? do we need to talk again

Draken: this is concerning

Kazutora: words cannot help me, Draken

Kazutora: anyway, have a good birthday, Shinichiro-san

Kazutora: i'm glad you didn't die by my hands

Shinichiro: ...

Shinichiro: i'm not really sure what to say

Senju: i love his thought process

Senju: (what the hell is wrong with this guy)

Draken: we can see the text inside the brackets 😐

Senju: fine

Senju: what the hell is wrong with this guy😭

Senju: you were the one who put Shin in a coma??

Senju: the power or friendship really carries this group's dynamic because if it were me, Kazutora would never see the light of day😭🙏

Senju: it helps that you're handsome

Kazutora: thank you. i'm sorry

Senju: you're welcome. you are forgiven

Baji: maybe let's change the topic

Senju: what's wrong with him?

Senju: no offense

Emma: his father used to beat him

Senju: Emma!

Senju: you can't be telling people this 😭

Emma: STOP ASKING ME THEN

Emma: there's no malice!! i'm just telling you what happened!!

Inupi: happy birthday Shinichiro

Inupi: my sister has agreed to go on a date with you

Inupi: i see you as a really good guy so if you fuck this up, i'd have to kill you

Shinichiro: AKANE-SAN?

Shinichiro: she's too pretty for me

Shinichiro: ok um, please give me her number, Seishu

Shinichiro: thank you

Shinichiro: let's speak privately yeah?

Mikey: Inupi, this is the first time in your life you've ever been useful

Mikey: i'm impressed

Inupi: kill yourself

Mikey: Koko doesn't love you back👎🔥💔

Inupi: Takemitchy is married to a woman

Draken: break it up

Draken: and Koko does love him back, he's just fighting heteronormativity and internalized homophobia

Emma: ?

Draken: i'll tell you about it later

Emma: 🤗

Inupi: you will not

Koko: i am in this group, you know?

Koko: happy birthday Shinichiro

Koko: also Inupi, aren't we dating?

Inupi: huh

Koko: are we not dating?

Inupi: i mean, i wasn't aware of it

Inupi: but okay

Inupi: you didn't ask me

Koko: well, we act like we're dating so i thought we were

Inupi: okay

Draken: Koko you can do better than that

Draken: this is a terrible confession

Draken: i did not sit through hours of Inupi's yearning for this

Draken: do better

Koko: okay...

Koko: meet me at my place?

Inupi: ...

Inupi: okay

Draken: 👍

Izana: can't anyone solve their private matters, PRIVATELY?

Mikey: dammit

Draken: what?

Mikey: i don't like when he's happy

Mikey: i need to ruin this for him somehow

Izana: Inupi fucking sucks

Mikey: he's the worst

Mikey: i regret changing the timeline for his sake

Mikey: should've left him to burn

Baji: what?

Mikey: nothing

Baji: this was about everything, except Shinichiro's birthday ☠️

Shinichiro: to be honest? i couldn't ask for more

Shinichiro: my family being happy is the best present i could ask for

Shinichiro: i really love you guys

Izana: thanks

Mikey: BOOOOOOOOO

Mikey: too sappy, i'm out

Baji: that was so corny😂

Baji: (we love you too)

Emma: Shini-nii😭❤

Senju: Takeomi, take notes

Senju: i still don't get how you guys are friends considering the personality difference

Senju: Shin is so kind and lovable and amazing and sweet (and hot lwky)

Emma: ew😐

Senju: you um, you smoke, and you um

Senju: yeah i got nothing

Senju: still love you though!

Haruchiyo: he's ugly and abusive

Takeomi: says the dick sucker

Takeomi: i'm abusive because of the way you are by the way

Takeomi: besides, i've regrettably, never lay a hand on you

Baji: here we go again

Haruchiyo: in another life, i've killed you with my bare hands

Takeomi: do you seriously think you could beat me in a fight

Haruchiyo: i'll die trying

Shinichiro: okay guys um let's please not

Shinichiro: Omi stop being a dick 😅

Shinichiro: Haru, sorry for Omi being a dick

Senju: ☹️

Senju: we love you too, Shin

Draken: uhm i don't know if it's appropriate for me to say? but i love you too Shinichiro, i guess

Draken: this is a little awkward now

Kazutora: should i say it?

Baji: no, Tora

Kazutora: ok

262 notes · View notes

ollycohens · 6 months ago

Text

oh no you guys. i’m going to spew things i’ve realized while rewatching umbrella academy. I’m realizing were all being too sucked into fanon things after being stuck without canon content for so long. We have convinced ourselves Five acts like a mean mean dude to everyone but rewatching, i’ve realized he’s only stressed and is saying things out of panicked anger, especially in s1 with the apocalypse dooming over them. he acts soft to his siblings multiple times, he’s really not as mean as we write him in fanfiction. he is a little crap though, that’s for sure, and i love him for that <3

also realizing that the siblings don’t hate five. they just literally don’t know him at all. he came back a completely different person after 17 years for the siblings, they don’t know five, he’s a stranger so of course they’re gonna be cold to him. it’s like, “i don’t know you well, but you’re always going to be my brother in the end”.

ALSO. for those who ship some of the siblings, uhm… i’ve seen a lot of you guys try to prove that they don’t see eachother as siblings and more like academy students, but they very much say in just about every episode that they see eachother as siblings. they don’t actually SAY that word by word but they say things like “she’s our sister”, or “our dad”. if they say OUR dad… bro. i’m not even going to continue, you can put it together yourself. But, i do realize why people ship the siblings. I am not defending incest shippers but with umbrella academy i can see why people have resorted to it. only 3 of the characters in the main sibling cast has romantic partners. people like shipping people, people love writing romantic relationships, but with only diego/lila, dave/klaus, and sissy/viktor, (i’m not going to count five/dolores for now) people are desperate with the need to ship the rest of the siblings with someone, and since there are only a few actual canon characters in the show that interact with our main 7, people start shipping them together… yikes. anywho, that’s all for that peice. i blame the show writers as well for shipping luther/allison, they did not have to do that, but i’m hoping it was only to convey the severity of what childhood trauma does to people.

ALSO THIS HERE SHOOK ME. I actually think Reginald cares for the siblings. i hate to say it, but it’s true. caring for them does not mean being good, though. he was a horrible father, and person, but he genuinely did care for the siblings, in a like, “being the best is the best thing for you, i will make you better, for your sake, even if you don’t know it now, you will see that i am right” kind of way.

also why has NOBODY MENTIONED THIS. in season 2 when diego first reunites with five in the asylum, while he’s walking into the visitors room, he’s staring at five with this heartfelt, soft look, and then says “five…” in the most soft spoken voice ever 😭 your honor i love them

ALSO UGHHH THIS. IM GOING TO FREAK OUT ABOUT CAMERAWORK AND METAPHORS HERE SO BARE WITH ME. we as a fandom complain about the lack of flashbacks five has due to his ptsd. we’ve seen his first flashback since getting back to his family in s1 during the van scene when he gets triggered by those kids playing and starts thinking about his own childhood, i’m guessing. i ate that scene up, and was sad to see that be one of the only deeply vulnerable scenes he has in the season, and during my first watch i thought they’d never bring it back up. but they do!! i may be stupid for not realizing but whatever. in season 2, when five is trying to explain at elliot’s with all his siblings around that another apocalypse is coming, everyone starts talking about each other. as someone who studies film and camerawork, i love this scene. we see the camera focus on five as it slowly zooms in. it doesn’t switch scenes at all as the siblings voices overlap and echo over eachother. this whole scene conveys him getting overwhelmed and he starts to zone out, starting to think of the nuclear war he saw his siblings in. the scenes of the war start quickly switching through, showing many different scenes of it before it switches back to five, who says “guys, you all die. i want to forget it but i can’t” which just UGH its so well done there. if you think about it, he was starting to slip into another flashback. he was triggered by talking about their deaths in the war but was handling it well until the siblings started fighting, where we see the overlapping voices happen. it portrays him losing control and being unable to pull it back together with too much going on for him to focus on grounding himself. we DO however, see that five was able to pull himself out before he fell too deep into the flashback. i love how they show this through them still having the scene showing the war, but then fives voice starts talking over the scene which is still focusing on the war as if he was pushing it back and forcing himself to come back to the present.

thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far, i will continue to freak out another time <3

#umbrella academy #the umbrella academy #tua #theumbrellaacademy #umbrella_academy #FREAAAKING OUT #five hargreeves #number five #reginald hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #luther hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #ben hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #lila pitts #camera work #film #nerding out

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lotusarchon · 1 month ago

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been rereading svsss soooo combining my current hyperfixations here

everytime there's a reader isekai au it's always them loving the universe they've transmigrated into but what about a reader who's a borderline HATER (me) of black myth wukong or lego monkie kid

(tdlr: this does not represent how i feel about either video game and show, because i like them both, the fandoms are just...eh...but i do think it'll be funny lmfao)

i'm talking a full time hater. they've read jttw and fssy and of COURSE they love those books, they're a huge myth nerd.

then they take one fucking look at the adaptions inspired by them and immediately go "oh fuck no"

a reader who DESPISES lmk's portrayal of sun wukong because what the fuck do you mean he's not a buddhist after his journey? what do you mean he didn't kick the jade emperor's ass and fucking isn't badass and cool? what the fuck do you mean the six eared macaque is his 'best friend' and people SHIP them?? what do you mean no one likes tripitaka and apparently the three other pilgrims were reincarnated when that isn't factually correct??

a reader who positively despises the plot line in lmk because WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NEZHA'S DEMOTED TO SOME CANON FODDER WHEN HE SHOULD BE BADASS?? or...or AZURE LION BEATING THE JADE EMPEROR?? WHO THE FUCK EVEN IS THE BROTHERHOOD EWWW!? what do you mean this dragon girl has the samadhi fire ew ew ewww what is this plot...

reader who fights with fans because of their (barf) mindset and also shut?? up?? about nezha being a 12 year old?? gross ass??

reader who watches the show religiously but only to find every flaw in it and when people argue about the show being a children's only audience they fight back with "idgaf if it's for kids they should teach it properly dumb fucking cunts gtfo my dms before i doxx you"

same thing with black myth wukong tbh. reader who hates black myth wukong because...no...no, sun wukong most certainly wouldn't do that. graphics are fine whatever but but this is?? inaccurate??

reader who's tearing into fanboys too because shut the fuck up about this character pingping bring sexy and also why the fuck does she exist?? why is red son not actually pif's son?? why is there some fucking random monkey tryna collect those whatchamacallit (relics) NO THIS IS WRONG

reader who's gagging cause...sun wukong wasn't in love with nobody and why is there a brief fucking romance plotline with the monkey 2.0 wasn't this a fighting game ewew get it AWAAAAY

reader who hates and then...uh oh. too much dumplings is making them choke....guys...guys i think they're dying??

reader who wakes up in bmw or lmk as some... rabbit spirit? (so weird) but absolutely SEETHING at being here because oh fuck this bitch ass god awful plot suck my cock we are NOT DOING THIS

reader deciding that avoiding the obnoxious characters would definitely be better for their sanity....only for some blasted loud ass obnoxious stupid cunt fucking google translated voice pings in their head... telling them if they don't participate in the plot they'll be executed

reader thinking they'd rather die but then the system goes "oh, you thought we were joking?" and gives them the worst experience ever that by the end of it they have to swallow their pride and participate in the plot....☹️ Unfortunately

reader who accidentally wifes up the characters and has to deal with everyone forgetting their roles...and the system threatening them about the plot too like bro how is this my fault these bitches are dumb? fuck you mean you're gonna kill me ag- no, no, you're right uh i'll fix it i'll fix it.

Anyways I'm gonna write a fanfic with an OC like this cause it's too funny to pass up and also I'm 100% gonna die with my wipes hahahaha fuck..

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myslutwritings · 2 years ago

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Playing minecraft headcanons with the uppermoons (+Muzan & Enmu)

this will be a modern!AU (they’re still demons tho)

•

(this is also my first post lmao)

Muzan

okay it takes a HELL ton of convincing to have Muzan himself play with you.

he views any sort of game as ‘dumb’ or ‘childish’

you try to remind him that it’s not in the slightest but it doesn’t do anything much (bro is stubborn)

he’s the demon king? why should he associate himself with the idiotic games mortals play?

eventually he goes give in (bc he loves you in his own weird demonic way..)

strictly on survival mode. doesn’t care what you do but he sees creative mode as a ‘easy way out’ and he wants to be a hard ass (no surprises here)

kills any mob in sight and any mob that comes near you (claims he does it because he’s the demon king and wants to overpower everything and everyone but in reality he just wants to look out for you)

loses his SHIT when he gets dies in the game (triggers his fear of death lol)

you made a joke about him being like the mobs in minecraft because they burn in the sunlight (like him)

he doesn’t play with you after that but he secretly enjoyed spending time with you! (shh, you’ll never hear it from him)

Kokushibo

doesn’t take too much convincing (thank god)

he lowkey enjoys trying out new things with you! you’ve always done everything for him so the least he can do is return the favor.

probably doesn’t really understand it at first so you gotta explain the game to him

gets frustrated easily in the game but it’s more of a silent rage. you take notice of it because his body language changes so it’s not exactly difficult to spot.

like muzan he’ll kill anything that goes near you. (he’s protective even in the game)

most likely will envy your game abilities. (it’s okay you’ll teach him!)

you find it cute that he’s so serious about it sometimes

The both of y’all share jobs in the game and end up creating a lovely little house!

spoiler alert he burns it down after he finds out you can burn things in the game. he did it for no reason whatsoever.

you don’t really mind all that much though. you’re just grateful you got to play with him!

Douma

douma loves and i mean LOVES playing with you!!

this man is bored. (like all the time) so doing something like this will definitely keep him occupied! but he may grow bored quickly because that’s just how he is.

he still adores playing with you though and wants to do it again!

he’ll praise you for how great you are at the game. literally head over heals for you<33

the type of mf to pick up a flower (specifically a rose) and drop it at your feet in the game.

pouts like a toddler when you don’t notice it:((

“Y/N?! didn’t you see the flower i dropped right in front of you!”

he’s clingy even in the game and will follow you around EVERYWHERE.

he is jealous of your building skills and begs you to build him a house💀

Douma’s fav biome is probably the ice plains spikes biome. anything that has to do with snow or ice!

he too also gets frustrated in the game sometimes and SUCKS at hiding it. he doesn’t have outbursts though (surprisingly)

most likely will rizz you up even in the fucking game😭

then after like a few hours of playing he gets bored and either wants to eat (women) or cuddle with you. (maybe both)

Akaza

Akaza is the most interesting to play with out of them all (because he’s just so goofy when playing)

the only thing that’s annoying is that he’ll chase danger quite literally for fun. he will fight anything. I MEAN ANYTHING.

i pity the mobs who (tried) to attack you..

game rage? it’s in his veins. (it’s semi-amusing to witness him get pissed off)

make sure he doesn’t punch a hole in your TV or your computer (whatever you play on) that shits expensive.

like during his battles bro uses only his fists to kill everything. weapons? nah. pro is anti-weapons. uses his fists for quite literally everything and will throw a fit when he dies.

he’ll praise you whenever you kill anything though! (he’s a sweetheart like that)

he’s like a guard dog even in the silly game. (over protective is an understatement)

he attempts to build you a house (it isn’t too horrible, surprisingly)

one time when the two of you were mining deep within the caves for diamonds Akaza found some and broke/mined it with his fist. (you got so pissed)

he apologized and found you some new ones though! thankfully, he didn’t use his fists to break the block this time.

overall, Akaza really does enjoy playing with you! he grows fond of it and now playing minecraft with him is one of y’all’s favorite things to do together<33

Hantengu Clones

(i’m writing the four of them all together because i’m lazy)

want to know what’s more than chaotic? playing some challenging game with 4 very emotional demons.

At first Sekido immediately rejects the idea of playing the game with you and his three other brothers (the hantengu clones are brothers in this AU)

After a shit ton of persistent begging from you and Karaku and Urogi he only submits in the end and plays (mostly because of you)

Karaku and Urogi literally are beefing the entire time (Sekido’s rage is at it’s boiling point because of those two jackasses)

Aizetsu cries like a baby whenever he accidentally kills anything (except for the mobs)

whenever he sees a mob his scaredy-cat ass sprints away in the opposite direction.

Urogi and Karaku bully him RELENTLESSLY for this. (Aizetsu is a victim)

Urogi is the type to secretly go into creative mode grab a shit tone of diamonds or netherite and is like; “Heyy, lookie what i found!!”

no one falls for his bullishit.

they all protect you in the game and show off in front of you. (it’s embarrassing)

Karaku is surprisingly good at the game but like Akaza he’ll chase danger for fun.

Aizetsu only feels safe around you so he’ll follow you around and cling to you in the game so his two brothers stop harassing him.

Sekido only plays for a few minutes before getting aggravated and just abandoning the game as a whole.

(he is the type to punch everyone playing the game. even you sometimes but Karaku and Urogi mostly fall victim to his attacks)

Sekido surprisingly leaves Aizetsu alone.

the five of you try to create a world where it’s just peaceful (Keep on dreaming, kid. that ain’t happening)

everything goes downhill, half of the world is ENTIRELY demolished and all of you died over 1000 times.

playing with all of them is too chaotic. you can’t really take it seriously. You only can when you’re playing with one of the clones one on one.

y’all didn’t play again after that madness. 😭

Gyutaro

now Gyutaro here is the only chill one to play with. (finally a normal one)

like Kokushibo, it doesn’t take that much convincing! in fact, he agrees to it almost immediately.

at first he is confused and doesn’t understand how to play minecraft but he is a quick learner and figures it out on his own.

Gyutaro doesn’t have a preference for survival or creative mode. He just does whatever you want.

Whenever y’all play in a survival world you two share tasks and duties and actually create a pretty decent looking world!

he still has your back though. Will kill any mobs that interfere with his little home he created with you.

he enjoys building houses and is surprisingly really amazing at it! he finds comfort in building.

however, whenever you, Daki and Gyutaro all play together it’s mostly him and Daki arguing and being all competitive. It’s mostly Daki’s fault because she’s the cause for half of the mayhem that happens in the world.

sometimes Gyutaro plays even without you. (he grew fond of the game quickly and likes the game)

the both of you play together everyday and go onto the same world every time because y’all created a beautiful old-fashioned city on there. (he cherishes it immensely and is insanely proud of the masterpiece of a world the two of you made as a team)

Daki

Daki is infuriatingly annoying but also entertaining to play with at the same time.

she is a giant rage quitter like Sekido and Akaza.

throws tantrums frequently over the smallest things that go wrong in the game.

she will be jealous of any item you get that’s better than hers.

this lil shit steals everything you earn that’s better than what she has. (you notice every time)

you confront her about it and she has the audacity to lie. (like girl yk damn well)

you end up taking your stuff back and she will BATTLE you for it. (you win these matches every time. that alone only adds to her angered state😭)

she will deliberately quit whenever something doesn’t go her way but later come back and declares she wants to try again.

it’s like a endless loop because this happens every. single. time.

(she’s such a brat istg)

will always steal your diamonds and put them in her chest and say she found them first.

while you’re asleep she will secretly go into the world and take all your shit and you’ll wake up back at square one.

(lowkey you want to stop playing with her)

y’all barely even work as a team but when y’all it’s always ha fight (mostly her fault btw)

once she notices your frustrations. She’ll level it down for you so no need to worry! (this earns your respect)

but whenever y’all are in creative mode shes so much more fun and enjoyable to play with!

you two usually build big ass mansions together and with y’all’s godly building skills you two make an incredible looking house and live in it together!

Enmu

Enmu absolutely looooves doing everything with you! he says yes immediately when you ask him to play with you.

after all he’s your personal simp. this fucker will gladly do whatever you say w/o any hesitation.

Enmu has actually heard of the game ‘minecraft’ before but never actually played it and barely knew what it was really about.

oh boy, but when he does he becomes OBSESSED.

I kinda feel like he dislikes survival mode and prefers to be in creative mode! but if you like survival mode he won’t mind trying it out with you.

he likes killing the animals for fun.. will randomly slaughter anything even if it has a family (bro is a sadist after all)

you tell him it’s not necessary to be doing that but he doesn’t care nor listen.

his love language is building you trains in the game. (you love them very much)

Enmu is usually very calm when he’s not on a mission so playing this game only soothes him further and he doesn’t act overly crazy and zesty like he usually does around Muzan

Builds trains every time y’all play and is somehow INSANELY skilled when building them (??)

Similar to douma, he’s the type to rizz you up in the game.

Sulks when you don’t notice him when he attempts to.

He constantly nags you to play with him some more and gets a lil upset when you become tired.

“Oh, Y/N!, how can you be tired? we’re having soooo much fun!!”

forces you to stay up just so he can introduce you his own train world he made for himself. (he named all the trains)

you’re out cold after playing with him every time. High key finds it adorable when you pass out after hours of playing with him. He’s so amused how humans can grow tired so easily.

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alornights · 2 years ago

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⟢ you took my soul.

➜ in which ! your beauty took their breath away.

💌 ﹫main 4 + butters stotch.

✩ 🎸 warnings﹗none.

🍓 ⟡ notes — me when subliminals start working, tehehe. based on the jimmy & kyle pretty people drabbles i did. idk what im doing tbh.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ eric cartman.

hates you.

the guy was so confused about why you looked like you were glowing and why his heart was about to beat out of his chest.

death stared you the entire first week you moved to town.

he later confronts you asking if you do witchcraft. you obviously answer you don't. he thinks you're lying and got plastic surgery.

you say you didn't with like the prettiest smile he's ever seen. he takes your word for it and everyone was shocked.

since then he's been like a parasite who always seems to be stuck with you always there to shoo off anyone irrelevant.

thinks he has asthma bc every time he sees you his breath cuts short and fucking hates himself for "having" asthma.

has tried on multiple occasions to "get rid" of people who bothered you even in the slightest way.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ kyle broflovski.

is actually so fucking flustered around you.

when he saw you in the cafeteria walking in he couldn't take his eyes off you the entire time, even with his friends calling for him.

if you even give him the slightest hint you're into him, he will take matters into his own hands and just brag to everyone.

for funsies of course.

deffo helps you away from any unwanted eyes, help meaning may literally threaten them in the worst ways possible.

when he's around you its like he's in a daze for him, he just feels like he's on cloud nine and is living the best life ever.

suddenly becomes the most romantic person ever, not that he wasn't already. but like hella cheesy hopeless romantic.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ stan marsh.

the classic and boring response is a throws up. but he actually doesn't do that contrary to popular beliefs.

he faints instead!

he thought he died since he saw an angel and then his vision went black but he thought hey at least that meant hed be in heaven.

he is stunned when he wakes up in the nurse's office and sees you worried about him of all people.

is like a stuttering mess but he starts slowly but surely relaxing around you, still very nervous talking to you though.

has bragged very purposely in front of wendy that y'all are friends.

while he may not be good at romance, he does try. and by trying i mean he makes u a picnic and brings takeout.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ kenny mccormick.

ay, he has a heart attack because of you.

kidding. but bro does feel his heart like- stop when he sees you walking down the halls like it's some rom-com movie.

instantly starts making moves on you, no hesitation.

doesn't matter whats going on, if he has the chance, hell take it.

at one point thought you were like his actual guardian angel because he had yet to die after meeting you.

still thinks you are and worships the ground you walk on.

very much one of those "ill do anything for you" but he actually will do anything for you, like seriously. just ask.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ butters stotch.

surprisingly the most normal of the bunch.

treats you like a normal human being thankfully.

though he does like stutter around you a lot but that calms down and he's usually back to his normal self in like a day or two.

is very much attached to you especially since his parents have

brags so much to the guys and tells them to "suck on these nuts bitch" because you don't hang out with them, ever.

has tried, and failed, to set up a date with you two. cried himself to sleep, and repeated this process for like a week.

it did work. at his house, in front of his parents! but it was kinda fun, you surprisingly got along with them very well.

#south park x reader #eric cartman x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #stan marsh x reader #butters stotch x reader

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lucky-clover-gazette · 2 years ago

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white out is probably one of the more notable episodes of she ra bc it's just catra at her absolute worst behavior, like objectively the portal had far greater consequences but i think the cold got to her in this one bc she's such a fucking menace. "looks like you're mine now adora" "always so perfect, look at you now. you're coming back to the horde under my command" "i wonder which of your friends i'll have you annihilate first" "I'VE GOT CONTROL OVER ADORA. I'M NOT GIVING THAT UP." like when corrupted she ra throws catra at the ground like a ragdoll she deserves it, 100%, no questions asked. there isn't even a time/space anomaly making catra act up, they just put her in outpost 31 from the thing with her ex and suddenly she's the homoerotic joker.

even scorpia's briefly like "ahahah maybe i don't want to have a crush on catra after all" bc she's acting like such a freak. but also scorpia spends the entire episode trying to ask catra out, and tells adora, "you two, even when you're trying to kill each other, you can tell there's a real bond" and she is JEALOUS of that?? actually you know what this is also a catradora at their worst behavior episode too, like the way they immediately start trash talking and then ditch everyone to scrap the second they see each other is beyond unprofessional. catra's favorite number is canonically 42069 (confirmed by nate stevenson) and adora knows this by heart. if those two idiots were in the same room for five minutes while adora's on loopy mode the show would actually just end, and this episode fucking KNOWS it and refuses to give us the satisfaction. bro. scorpia telling loopy adora that catra is misunderstood and shouldn't SHE know that better than anyone else is just like. wow. ouch. rude. scorpia is actually the mvp of this episode she straight up judges adora to her FACE for abandoning catra and swears not to do the same, even though honestly she probably should, because catra fucking SUCKS in this one. scorpia reveals that "catra once used my rock-hard exoskeleton as a nail file" why?? why would you let this happen?? stop simping she's not worth it!! but scorpia is still the mvp bc at the end of the episode she just straight-up realizes that catra is out of her goddamn mind and breaks the 'controlling she ra' disk for catra's own good bc clearly something about low temps and her ex makes catra go 25% more feral than usual and it's pretty cringe. it's like when i dispose of the dead fly my cat has been antagonizing for the past twenty minutes like babygirl i don't like the person you become when you're in these conditions!! and of course OF COURSE we get literally two seconds of sober wordless communication between catra and adora that's just like ohhhh adora's gonna remember this one, you're going to be doing the dishes for the first fifteen years of your relationship once this galactic war shit wraps up and you save the universe by kissing with tongue. oh my god, what the fuck is with this show. how does this show exist. how does this episode exist. how does catra exist. they put this gay catgirl in an environment under 32 degrees farenheit for one episode and it's enough to make her say some of the most toxic, deranged dialogue in the entire series. i think soup would fix her, and also a cocktail of psychiatric medication and cognitive behavioral therapy. she sneezes like a kitten and needs a weighted blanket in the evil uber away from cringefail summit as she's mentally drafting the 'i fucked up' email to her boss. she thanks scorpia and shares the blanket with her bc she's so exhausted by her own bullshit. she ra and the princesses of power season 2 episode 5 white out is for the cold gay heartbroken bitches and it might just be one of the series' best. looks like you're mine now adora, good fucking night.

#she ra #spop #catra #catradora #i have the urge to write fic how did i not write fic of this ever

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missmarveledsblog · 5 months ago

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SOMEONE OLDER ( TONY STARK X READER)

summary : when boys your age just don't do it for you but someone older does .

warnings : age gap ( legal one before anyone is calling svu ) mutual pining , no pepper in this universe

" nat I'm done dating the dude brought me to a strip club and gave me ones to tip the dancers " Y/n huffed walking into the main living room. " Jesus and I thought my dating life was bad " bucky snorted dodging the incoming pillow . " guys my age suck " she pouted sitting down beside the widow placing her head on nats shoulder. " date me and we can live our best lives " nat smirked poking her side. " I would but bruce won't share " she rolled her eyes . " I'll deal with him " she chuckled . " well you could always date me doll " bucky wiggled his brows . " i'm already in therapy no thank you " she stuck her tongue out at the man . " well i would of gave you fives for the club " he shrugged . " oh take me now " she fake swooned into the couch. " i mean i could rock your world doll " he stood walked towards her thinking he had the edge . " and i'd break you " she looked up making bucky freeze in his spot . " i think you just did that " sam fell over laughing . " that's my girl " nat hugged her. " damn it she goes all doe eyes and says shit like that " he grumbled in his defeat. " it's ok we can hit the club i might have a connection with one of the dancers at this rate " she sighed. " what about the crush " sam looked around . " just a crush i mean not going to go anywhere other than that " she pouted. " can't believe you've the hots for stark and not me " bucky teased . " i like older men, not one from the great depression " she rolled her eyes . " she a match for stark with that mouth of her " bucky chuckled . " a lot this mouth could can do boy " she hopped up while nat laughed at the mens gaping mouths . " see you later malyshka" nat called after her. " bye nat love you " she called back .

she roamed around compound not really knowing what to do , i mean she had the choice of working out with steve but that was hard pass , maybe working on her computer in the lab would kill time . she could see bruce and tony already working away on whatever, it's like the two lived in the confines of that part of the compound. " hey kiddo how was the date " bruce called . " bust like major bust " she groaned heading to her computer. " well i mean his name was chad " tony chuckled . " he brought me to a strip club, he out chadded any future chads " she rolled her eyes. " hey tony could you come with me i need your help " bruce smiled taking the billionaire gaze off the girl . " with what ?" tony head shot towards the fellow science bro . " snack run can't carry it so come on , you want anything kiddo? " he asked. " oh cookies and chips please " she looked up excitedly. " coming up " tony smiled brightly. " course it is " bruce muttered . " why don't you make a move man even i can see you like her " bruce whispered as they walked down the hall . " she's too young plus i mean who say she even likes me , she always around barnes " tony shrugged . " she doesn't like me stark " bucky made the two men jump at his sudden appearance . " yeah ok, you guys are always flirting " he rolled his eyes . " no i'm always flirting and she shooting me down with sarcastic comment it's our thing , i love her like a best friend " he chuckled grabbing himself a plum as they began snack hunting . " still she same age as parker and he's called me dad way too many times " he grimaced. " maybe she can call you daddy " nat walked by with a wink before kissing bruce on the cheek. " we don't even know if she likes me i've flirted with her and it does nothing " he said not feeling his usual cocking ego filled self , a first for tony stark he was sure of that . " you flirt with everyone even F.R.I.D.A.Y " nat deadpanned . " hey honey feel like watching a movie" bruce kissed her cheek , hint of mischief in his words . " i guess i'll bring the snacks to the lab " tony picked them up . " hey here's a bottle of that tea stuff she like" nat threw it across the room . " thanks i guess " he walked out wondering would he actually make a move on not . again it was all new for tony he was used to women making the move throwing themselves at him yet here he was wondering how to make a move . He wondered if this was how tiny capsicle felt ? .

she sat so stuck in her work she barely noticed tony approaching hands filled with snacks until the door opened. " where's banner " she tilt her head she was sure the two left together. " with his girlfriend , probably afraid your gonna steal her on him " he smirked handing her the cookies , chips and bottle of ice tea. " i will so he should be scared " she giggled . " so no luck on these dates ?" he knew it was ridiculous fishing around god he felt the kid . " most definitely not i think i'm destined to be single , i mean guys my age just wanna hump and dump and that's cool but after a while you kinda want more " she sighed looking down at her cookie. " i get that , i mean sleeping around is great but when you're looking for more it's get boring " he nodded. " yeah except you sleep with actresses and models not same thing , like douchebag last night brought me to a strip club because he found out i was bisexual " she laughed dryly . " i'm still finding glitter and i've showered twice" she grimaced. " why not date someone older " he smiled softly. " i would if i could find anyone that took me serious , i mean again they treat you like kid i'm clearly smart and have a head on my shoulders , been taking care of myself since i was like 16 and yet they think i can't do shit for myself or after their money like" she groaned. " well it's official the male species is doomed , i mean not to take such a beautiful smart intelligent woman like you and see how lucky they are, i really should of let loki take over " he smiled as she giggled. " thanks stank know how to make a girl feel special" she smiled feeling slightly better well she would if the stupid brain of her would calm down as well as her heart rate. " crazy yet brilliant thought , we go on a date , i mean your beautiful and i'm gorgeous , i take you serious most of the time and well i know your worth " he stood straight up looking as she slowly looked up at him . " you wanna date me, like as in you tony hot science iron man stark wants to date me " . " yeah i think i said as much " he chuckled. " when " she asked thinking she was asleep cause this was clearly a dream . " well how's tonight sound for you " he walked over leaning slightly over her desk before she shot up and it came out before her brain even registered the audible glup . " she said yes " bucky called making the both of them jump . " what the fuck are you a cat " she held her chest. " nah but this was fun to watch , good on you stark " he smiled walking off. " i'm getting a bell for him " she laughed once the fright and shock wore off. "so you'll go on date with me " he asked biting his lip . " i mean you did say i should date someone older " she kissed his cheek walking out of the lab calming once out of his sight she high balled it to nat help her get ready .

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