#bro really said eat the rich

[skull-pun]

RTD: I think we should feed the rich racists to giant man eating slugs.

Me:

[natsuslover]

☆.｡.:* gojo bf headcanons

notes— i think… i miss my wife :’( (it’s gojover i’m writing this to cope)

ft. satoru gojo

warnings: none really js some mentions of sexual things but nondescriptive (very fluffy for the most part)

first and foremost i feel like a common mischaracterization has to be cleared up… bro is NOT a womanizer lmfaooo

in fact he’s prob a virgin like it would take a lot for him to be sexually vulnerable like that

now that that’s been said-

he’s basically ur best friend

like yes he loves u and yes ur his s/o but he can also be so so annoying at times

rich asf so he’s always spoiling u

and he doesn’t even do it on purpose

for example he’ll be shopping for himself in luxury brand stores (bros a diva) but then he sees something u would like and js buys it bc why tf not

he never expects anything in return

def the whiny brat in the relationship

kind of a red flag but he LOOOVES starting meaningless arguments for funsies

also loves complaining abt anything and everything to u

and whenever he learns a new piece of gossip you’ll be the first to know fs

100% NOT afflicted by nonchalant dreadhead disease

like he THINKS he’s being all nonchalant and shit but in reality he’s the most chalant person ever

his favorite type of date is going out to eat

whether it’s a fancy restaurant or stalls on the street he loves eating and he loves watching u enjoy ur food too

it would be ironic to say his love language is physical touch but for those he feels close to he likes when they’re physically close as well

bear hugs = his favorite form of affection

likes watching movies w u but not romance movies (he thinks they’re cheesy and unrealistic)

he’ll watch spiderman w u over and over again tho and to this day cries abt how mj doesn’t remember peter

loves playing mario kart w u

beats u every single time and brags about it

doesn’t really like TOO much pda

like he’ll hold ur hand, put his arm around u, hug u, etc. in public but that’s pretty much the extent

but in private it’s a different story…

good luck getting this man to detach his 6’3 body from u

his infinity is off almost 24/7 when it’s just the two of u

likes taking random pictures of u when ur caught off guard so he can tease u later

he’s a menace in the kitchen but when ur cooking and u need a taste tester he always volunteers

he got u a “kiss the cook” apron for ur birthday once and now just uses it as an excuse to kiss u randomly whenever u wear it

brags about u to his students like all the time and they get annoyed

“gojo sensei ur supposed to be solving the math problem on the board-”

“oh! y/n is SOO good at math! i mean just yesterday she told me-”

“GOJO SENSEI!!”

has a big ass sweet tooth that ends up rubbing off on u

his phone lock screen is definitely some cursed image of u and every time someone asks who he’s dating he just pulls out his phone and they’re like “oh… 😀”

his love for u is very obvious bc he’s always giving u “the look” when ur not looking according to other ppl

i’m ngl tho sometimes u wake up in the middle of the night for a glass of water and see this dudes bright blue glowing orbs staring right at u and it freaks u tf out

sassy bf apocalypse in a nutshell

[naybii]

Welcome home

cw: long distance relationship, Rich!jake + college student! User, car sex, cunillingus, riding ,a little bit of exhibitionism, Soft dom! Jake x Switch! User. Pet names (baby, babe,gorgeous.)

a/n: lowkey based this off of a Jake Character Ai bot.. also the last story was hella long and I’m sorry 😞 the creative came out of me.

Rating: SMUT

- the following story contains suggestive Dialogue and Storyline.

Please proceed w/ caution. -

You and Jake have been dating for almost two years, though you’ve been attending college abroad you and Jake were in a temporary Long distance relationship, but you’ve guys managed to keep the relationship strong. Though, today was the day that you get to see your Beautiful boyfriend. His parents had Said that you and Jake Could stay in the beach house as long as they took Care of Jake’s dog. Layla.

You Arrived To the beach house in a cab, and you grabbed your bags, immediately walking towards the beach house. Jake had left the door open, so you walked into the humble and tidy beach house. And Saw Jake. Sitting on the couch. And Layla!! Who’d you go to first? Layla of course. As soon as Jake saw you he tried giving you a Hug but you immediately ran to Layla. Bending over to get to Layla.

“Oh my beautiful fur baby!! So grown up!..” you Gushed on about Layla. Meanwhile, Jake was standing there, checking your ass out like the shameless boyfriend he is. Arms crossed, and waiting for his Hugs and kisses. “Hey, what about me, y/n?” He Tilted his head in confusion and sighed. “Were you looking at my ass?” You questioned Jake and he had nodded. “Oh come on y/n. It was practically right Infront of me, you can’t blame me.”

Jake tried desperately defending himself. You were wearing bell bottoms and a tank top so it was tight at the top and Flowing at the bottom. “You’re such a pervert.” You Teased Jake. As he rolled his eyes. “Oh so you give her a hug but not me?” Jake questioned you.

“Jake there’s something called ‘bros before hoes.” You Jokingly Said to him as you were scratching the back of laylas ear. “Oh? You’re calling me a hoe? That’s not very nice, y/n” he Rolled his eyes

“You know I love you jake.” You kissed his cheek, then Walked over to the couch. Over a few hours, you and Jake had decided to go to some bar. Of course you weren’t a big drinker so you just Had some non-alcoholic beverages. And still enjoyed the Drinks. You were changed into this knee high and Tight dress and that whole car ride for the beach house to the club, Jake couldn’t keep his hands off of you. At all.

The bar was pretty Crowded and A little clustered but it was alright for the most part. Jake had been moderately drinking his alcohol hadn’t really been that bad with his drinking. It was hard for him to get drunk. (Let’s just pretend.) he led you to the Corner of the bar, at this booth. And You two had been talking for a while. He placed a hand on your thigh just so men knew that you were going anywhere with them.

As you guys sat down, He Whispered some Lovely Things in your ear. “You look so lovely In that dress, Gorgeous.” He smiled at you. Then kissing your neck. All he thought about was ‘how did I score such a gorgeous woman?” You were a Gorgeous woman,loving,caring, and gorgeous , oh wait? Did he ever mention that you were gorgeous?

“Are you planning on eating anything, Jake?” You asked him, Jake the. Shook his head. “I’m not in the mood for food right now gorgeous,though there is something I am craving that is way better than food.” A hint of innuendo in his Voice. “Hm?” You hummed in question, then waiting for his answer. “I’m craving something. Nice, and sweet. Something I’ve haven’t had in a year.” Oh how you already knew what he was talking about.

“Good because I want it too.” You replied, Jake immediately grinned at your reply, pulling you closer to him and sliding his hands up your pretty thighs, his hand disappearing into your skirt as he hikes his hand up your Legs. “You feel the same way? That’s good to know I guess.” He murmured, You knew that he was Already probably popping a boner, as we speak.

“Ey, Jake. Not here, we’re in public.” You warned him, swatting his hand away. He was Too infatuated to realize he was in public and had flushed a red color. “Oh shit I’m sorry, y/n.” He said, a little hint of embarrassment in his voice. “I’m okay with waiting. Until we get home. I want to take my time with you.” You registered his words and immediately said “no.”

You got up and grabbed his hand, not letting him speak. “Hey, wait right now?—“ he questioned as you led him outside of the bar. “Hey, we’re not going to do it in the car, right?” You glanced back at him. “That’s where you’re wrong.” You murmured. “Why are you in a rush? You want to get all over me or something?” He asked you, softly. “No, I want you to eat me out.

He was infatuated with you, once again. Your boldness genuinely turned him on. The way you took the lead by walking him out was pretty damn intriguing. “You want me to put the car seats down?” He Asked you, wanting To make this the best session ever with you. “Yes, please.” You murmured. He smirked subtly, then putting the car seats down. Patting the seats, indicating that he wants you to lay down for him

. “Come here gorgeous, I’ll make sure this is my best meal today.” You made your way to the specific car seat, laying down and looking up at him. Hands behind your head. “Alright, let’s just hope I don’t suffocate you with my thighs.” Jake chuckled and Said. “That’s the best way to suffocate me to death.”

“Oh shut up..” you murmured against your own Breath. Whatever that means. He flashed a grin at you. “I’d be praising those thighs until I’m dead.” He said with his Thick accent. “Go on. I know you’re craving me so bad.” You Invited him to get a taste of your sweet cunt. “Hell yes I’m am, I’ve been missing your Pussy since you left .” He admitted. “You loved it that bad?” You asked him.

“I loved it, so much.” He smiled. Getting between your thighs. And positioning his head between them. Using his hands to hold your Legs. Glancing up at you. He Then Looked to see if you were wearing any underwear. “No underwear? Have you planned this?” He teased and surprisingly, you nodded. “I actually did.” You snickered at his expression. But he shook his head and took a deep breath. “Ready, babe?” He smiled slyly. “Yes..yes..I’m ready.”

Jake’s smile widens and he grabs the hem of your panties, slowly and teasingly sliding them down your legs.“God, I’ve been wanting to taste you for so damn long..” He says, his eyes looking up at you with a hunger you’ve never seen before. Jake can’t wait anymore and he immediately buries his head between your thighs, diving deep into your Pussy. Jake’s tongue pushes into your wetness and he tastes you, moaning at the nice and sweet taste of your cunt.

Jake grabs your thighs while he’s eating you out, his hands squeezing your thighs and swatting them regularly. “Oh fuck, you taste amazing.” He praised you, “Oh fuck jake!!..” you Stammered. Arching your back, hungry for more friction. Jake looks up for a quick second and smirks, his lips glistening. “You taste so good, baby..” Jake says, then proceeds to Taste your clit.

Swirling his Tounge Around the sensitive area. “Oh shit Jake. Fuck ,close already.” Jake continues to eat you out, the sounds of his tongue slurping you filling the car. One of his hands moves from your thigh up to your stomach underneath, caressing it and massaging it.Jake’s tongue presses harder against you and his fingertips press into the soft entrance of your pussy.

Jake moans softly against you, his fingers suddenly pushing into your folds and curling them with the come here motion, making you squeal in pleasure. “Oh fuck!!” You cried out. Tears of pleasure in your eyes. “Fuuuck, you’re so damn wet..” Jake moans, and Admires your taste. “Jake, I’m gonna cum!!” Jake feels you getting closer and he starts licking you faster, his fingers pumping in and out with the curling of the fingers. “Come for me, princess. I want you to cum on my tounge, you while you do..”

His dirty talk really did you a favor which eventually made you climax. Your walls clenched around Jake’s fingers, Clamping down onto the and cumming all of them as soon as Jake curled his fingers. “Oh fuck I’m cumming!” You cried out and Of course like you said. Came all over his fingers, he Pulled them out. A white liquid; masking his fingers. He brought them to his mouth and licked his fingers. “Im gonna drive us back home, alright?” He asked you. And you nodded, staying in the backseat to rest. That rest of your night was Passionate sex and Aftercare.

[juleswrites223]

Desi Girl

Pairing: Carlos Sainz jr x indian!reader

Context: Attending a desi wedding with bae

ps: No specific faceclaim, i got every image from pinterest. Desi girls need some love too and i love carlos so i thought he would be the perfect fit for this.

yourusername

yourusername shaadi (wedding) time!!

ps; not my shaadi, my sister's

tagged: carlossainz55

landonorris where's my invite

yourusername remember the time we invited you for diwali and you almost burned yourself bc YOU INSISTED TO LIGHT FIRECRACKERS WITH MY BROTHER landonorris no regrets yourusername you almost died dummy landonorris like i said no regrets carlossainz55 .... ynloversz i love how carlos is so used to their banter that he stays out of it lest he too face the wrath of y/n yncarlos tired older sister and annoying younger brother dynamic ynmylove the fact that she already has a younger brother who annoys tf outta her and now she gotta deal with lando and her lil bro mywifeyn my girl cant catch a break😭

charlesleclerc i wanted to come too...

yourusername you can come when we get married carlossainz55 what she said^^^

yummyyn they’re so in love😩😩😩

carlitoyn mother is mothering; daddy is daddying

ynwifey shes so so mommy😩

randohater yeah must be fun mooching off your millionaire bf

ynloversz oh someone hold me back im boutta get violent

mywifeyn its always these ignorant americans smh 🤦

ynmyqueen her family is hella rich and practically run almost everything in India so before hating on someone who is way richer and prettier than you, do your research cuz this is embarrassing for you.

f1wags

f1wags Carlos Sainz and his girlfriend Y/n Y/l/n in Jaipur, Rajasthan at her cousin sister's wedding. Both looking quite good in traditional indian outfit.

carlito55 OMG CARLOS IN A KURTA. THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT CARLOS IN A KURTA

carlyn MY JAW DROPPED. THEY LOOK SO GORGGGGG

Ynfanacc mother slaying as usual

yourusername

youusername with meri jaan (my life)🫶

tagged: carlossainz55

ynloversz ���meri jaan”🥹

carlitoyn tell me why I’m crying

carlyn they love each other so much I’m crying

carlossainz55 tum meri jaan ho ❤️ (you are my life)

ynwifey Carlos replied in Hindi Oml I’m boutta cry

landonorris did yn help you type this or did you use google translate??😑

yourusername I may have helped a bit

carlossainz55 tu gadha hai (you’re an idiot) landonorris

yourusername now that’s all him, I’m so proud that he’s learning hindi 🥹 (btw my brother taught him that)

yourbrother roasteddd

Ynnnn55 they visited a temple together omlll

ynpyaar (pyaar means love) I literally met them today and they are even cuter and down to earth in real life.

yncarlos I love that even though both of them are really rich they’re still so down to earth which honestly makes them even more attractive

carlitoyn it’s not even just yn, but her entire family is also like that, honestly love her family, they’re such kind souls, it’s no surprise yn is too

carlossainz55

carlossainz55 with mi amor ❤️(my love)

yourusername I love you ❤️

carlossainz55 I love you more baby landonorris i see you have no shame yourusername what is our crime?? landonorris having fun without me yourusername 😐 carlossainz55 😐

yncarlos THE IT COUPLE!!!!

carlitoyn MISS MAAM YOUR OUTFIT!!!! THE HENNA ON YOUR FEET!!! THE FIRST PIC SO CUTE IM GONNA PASS OUT

liked by yourusername and carlossainz55

ynwifey THEM DANCING IS SO ADORABLE

carlossainz55 posted a story

caption: everyone is tired 🫨

yourusername

caption: 🥳��

yourusername

caption: Congratulations didi (older sister) and jiju (brother in law)

carlossainz55

carlossainz55 fun couple of days with mi amor

tagged: yourusername

yourusername carlos drank so much chai, he has become a certified indian now🫡

carlossainz55 mazaa aaya (had fun) yourusername Im glad 😘

landonorris better get an invite to y'all's wedding

yourusername of course lando carlossainz55 could be any day now so you better check your mail ynloversz WHAT

carlitoyn always eating with the looks queen 😍

f1wags you guys are a beautiful couple truly ❤️

comments have been limited on this post...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

author's note: Y'all would not believe how much i enjoyed this. Ive been super inactive because ive been super busy with stuff plus with not wanting to write but hopefully im back and will be writing more stuff, a lot F1 related bc im into F1 rn.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can we get silly fluff scenarios where the bishops partner or friend (whatever would spark more creativity for you) is a baker and test out new things they make with the bishops if it's successful or not

Bishops x baker!reader

bro i just had a burger and it was so good got me peeling my skin off frfr notes: reader is gn, can be read as romantic or platonic, reader is any creature, bishops are still bishops here cws: none

LESHY

putting size aside, hes going to eat anything you hang to him in one bite, just shoving the entire thing in his mouth.... though does it count as shoving if hes so large its all just.. naturally one bite?

does not take the time to take in the texture and flavors because of it so you may need to remind him to slow down

thanks to him having an advanced sense of smell he can pick up on a lot of the flavors more than others... beelines for you the second he gets a whiff of any of your ingredients

though not much of a sweets person himself, hes willing to try anything you bake! though be warned he may suggest you make foul combination to give to a poor unsuspecting follower

HEKET

i like to think that despite being the god of famine, shes bit of a foody.. kind of misses eating from before she ascended to godhood, you bring back those memories

sometimes brings you stuff she believes may help your hobby as well as introducing new flavors- whether its something she finds in anura or gets through trading with others

does not take her time with eating your baking though, much like her younger brother... though shes no where near as intense about it as leshy

focuses a lot on texture and let you know what works together and what doesnt

will get very possessive over any baked treat you make for her, assuming theres anyone who wants to attempt stealing from her

KALLAMAR

loves that hes your taste tester, youve come to him first for advice and opinions- it makes him feel important, even more so if baking is your job rather than a hobby

gets you the highest quality ingredients as well as stuff from all over- similar to heket, though hes more likely to get you things he deems "fancy", something pricey and rich in flavor

lets you know his honest opinion, at least most of the time.. you can tell when he thinks something doesnt exactly work... he just doesnt want to hurt your feelings is all- even if sometimes he just lets his words spill anyway

makes requests and will sometimes ask you to cater for cult wide events if he really feels like winning over his followers (to keep them in line, usually.. if the threat of illness doesnt work all that well)

SHAMURA

doesnt eat, like the other gods, and they dont miss eating all that much- that being said they do partake in your baking because its something youre interested in

headcanon that they keep a lot of books on hand, kind of just getting a little bit of everything- if they have a book with older recipes and any historical stuff theyre going to be sending it your way!

very honest but unlike kallamar they have the mind and skill to say something gentler if something isnt... the best.. will keep encouraging you to try again until you find something that works

very polite when eating what you make for them, they take their time... even if it means taking incredibly small bites to actually process and taste things

will always finish what you make regardless of if they like it or not

[luvrrgirl444]

chapter 5: boo

IRL, TIKTOK!

it was now 4am, and most of the people had left eren’s house. eren had let his close friends (and his “girl”) stay the night and since you and genesis were kade’s family, he considered you two close friends. although he was a whore, he was sweet. you and genesis were sleeping in one of the many guest rooms in the large house. you had gotten hungry, so you woke up and quietly made your way into the kitchen.

you opened eren’s gigantic pantry door and scanned the items that were in there. you were debating on what to take from the shelves. earlier, eren had told you to take whatever you wanted, so you didn’t feel guilty taking — practically stealing — his snacks. he was also rich as fuck. he could probably buy tons more of whatever you took.

“boo.” you heard from behind and you jumped, followed by a deep laugh. “what the fuck!” you quietly shouted. you turned to meet the pretty face of the freshman wide receiver, jean. he was laughing at you. you rolled your eyes and hit his shoulder. “ain’t shit funny, you bitch.” you turned back towards the pantry and took a party sized chip bag.

“my bad.” he said, still giggling while you hoisted yourself onto one of the kitchen counters. you blankly stared at him, opening the bag and placing one in your mouth. “why are you up anyway?” he asked, opening the fridge and getting a blue gatorade.

“i was hungry. you?” you replied, pointing the bag to his direction and offering it to him. he took some before he leaned onto the kitchen island, right in front of you. “connie and kade were snoring really fucking loud.” you giggled. “not gonna lie, i would’ve suffocated them.”

he laughed, once again. “i was deadass gonna do it, but i really want that natty.” he said. “maybe i’ll suffocate them after we get it.” you snorted. “after you get it? damn, you’re cocky.”

“you call it being cocky, i call it being confident.” he nonchalantly shrugged and grinned, to which you rolled your eyes.

TIKTOK

98k ♥️ 8,293 💬 8,244 🔁

jk • 4:45 am

me n twin after eating all of eren’s doritos

👤 222yn

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bae who is this? 10k ♥️

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crying and throwing up 8k ♥️

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bro aint no way yall were tiktoking at 4am liked by creator ♥️

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surprise 😄

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GET IT SEXYY liked by creator ♥️

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no way u fatasses ate all liked by creator ♥️

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yo??

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🎡!

- FIRST EVER TIKTOK CHAPTER do we fw it??? i honestly love it

- ngl i hate whiteboyem but i had to use him 💔💔💔💔

taglist! <3 @alittleilliterate @invisible-mori @jazminethecreator @drugzforyou @shidousmainluvr

[king-crawler]

The Disney villain book i ordered 3 weeks ago finally came and the sleeve was oily and chafed but at least I get the fabled single paragraph of King Candy insight

this is truly a game changer

And ralf

[TEXT DESCRIPTION BELOW]

Page 166: Disney Villains: Delightfully Evil.

KING CANDY - WRECK-IT RALPH.

RELEASE DATE: November 2, 2012.

DIRECTOR: Rich Moore.

VOICE TALENT: Alan Tudyk.

ANIMATOR: Zach Parrish.

"Everyone should have known with a pass code like UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A, START that this sugary-sweet king was not on the up-and-up. Who in the gaming world doesn't know that cheat code?! King Candy is the ruler of Sugar Rush, a video game made of everything sweet to eat, or as a wise Wreck- It Ralph sees it, a "candy-coated heart of darkness.' " But Sugar Rush was not always such a dark place; it was once a happy kingdom where Princess Vanellope von Schweetz ruled until an evil racer from a game called Turbo Time messed with her code and took her game for his own. The biggest shock? King Candy and that villainous racer known as Turbo are one and the same. Alan Tudyk, the voice of King Candy, said he had imagined King Candy to be a much bigger character, size-wise, and found it really funny that he was actually such a small man."

“Portrait of King Candy. Artist: Clay Loftis. Medium: Digital."

“Final Frames of Turbo from Wreck-It Ralph (2012)”

"Concept art of Turbo. Artist: Jim Kim. Medium: digital."

Page 184: Disney Villains: Delightfully Evil.

WRECK-IT RALPH - Wreck-It Ralph.

RELEASE DATE: November 2, 2012.

DIRECTOR: Rich Moore.

VOICE TALENT: John C. Reilly

ANIMATOR: Nik Ranieri

“Wreck-It Ralph is a "bad guy" who has been forced to spend every day for the last thirty years trying to destroy the apartment building that took his home away and to thwart Fix-It Felix from fixing everything Ralph wrecks. After "wrecking" the thirtieth anniversary celebration of his game, Ralph decides to go on a quest to earn a medal and prove to everyone, including himself, that he can be a good guy and do good things. In an interview with the Los Angeles Times, director Rich Moore said that the idea for Wreck-It Ralph came when he was asked by Walt Disney Animation Studios to revamp an idea they had been working on for a while: a movie that takes place in a video game. "Video game characters do the same job every day," said Moore. "I don't know how you could tell a story about that, and then it kind of hits me. ... What if the main character did not like his job? If you had a character who is actually wondering: Is this all there is to life?" "

Concept Art of Vanellope and Ralph. Artist: Bill Schwab. Medium: digital.

Page 185: Disney Villains: Delightfully Evil.

Story sketches of Ralph. Artist: Jim Kim. Medium: Graphite

Final character pose of Ralph.

Final frame of ralph with the Bad-Anon support group from Wreck-It Ralph, 2012.

“Bad-Anon-One Game at a Time

"I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

-The Bad Guy Affirmation

Evervone needs a little help from their friends, even if their friends are a group of "bad guys." Bad-Anon is a place where the who's who of gaming bad guys can meet and talk about their feelings and what it is like to always be the one everyone loves to beat. Here are some of the familiar faces from the video games of the 1980s and 1990s.”

Bowser--King Koopa from Super Mario Bros.

Clyde--Ghost from Pac-Man.

Dr. Robotnik- -as himself from Sonic the Hedgehog.

Kano--as himself from Mortal Kombat.

M. Bison--as himself from Street Fighter.

Neff-as himself from Altered Beast.

Zangief-Red Cyclone from the Street Fighter series.

[TEXT DESCRIPTION END]

[foxglovepng]

Random Head cannons 2 🌼🥀

Characters: Savanaclaw + Octavinelle

CW: Mentions of first years, Leona accidentally commits arson, Ruggie is a klepto, platonic bromances with first years, little bit of violence in ruggie's, mentions of ED and body hcs in Azuls, mentions of slight nudity in Floyd's.

A/N: These two dorms are relatively small so I combined both into one post. Scarabia and Pomefiore will be condensed into one post as well.

Likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated <3 hope you enjoy!

Leona

MY MAN <3 me and Leona are married Crewel officiated our marriage. (I literally don't know what headcannons to give this man HELP)

I like to think because he is a prince all the staff did everything for him so him changing to NRC and not having any retainers I can imagine he tried cooking once and almost set the dorm on fire.

He had to adjust to doing normal things himself since they were always done for him so I can imagine he STRUGGLED when Ruggie wasn't there (Unless he paid someone to do laundry for him before Ruggie than idk)

Off topic but I saw this one post and it was like "It's okay to commit murder but never okay to hit your wife." yeah that's Leona.

He'd hype his wife up in a fight and when asked he'd be like "I was taking a nap"

(How do you fall asleep in 3 seconds sir teach me your ways it takes me hours to fall asleep)

He can also get high on catnip btw

Ruggie

My favorite klepto freeloader

I can imagine first year Ruggie stealing from a particularly rich person and he goofed up badly Leona stepped in and beat them up and was like Bruh how do you fuck that up I am not helping you the next time you fail.

So *sips tea* even Ruggie has said himself his jaw is strong enough to where he can bite through bone and he can eat the bones too. Ruggie is a little terrifying because is Jaw is insanely strong (Stronger than jack and Leona's combined) so Ruggie could bite someone out of defense to break their arm and his jaw would survive. I think he figured this out once because he had to defend himself either because he got into a fight or someone attacked him and he bite them breaking their bone nearly ripping their arm off.

Between Floyd and Ruggie I'd rather not get bit by either :skull:

Jack

I can imagine first years as a bonding activity go to the gym together from an admiration point Jacks body build is really nice he's a buff guy and he's proud of it so I can imagine he gives tips to the others especially Epel and Deuce.

I also can imagine Ace trying to do a push up or a rep competition (He's not winning). Jack and Sebek end up winning.

Weird head cannon but I can imagine locker room talk between the first years is them admiring Jacks body build in a platonic bro way if anyone else does it Ace is running his mouth on them :skull: "Damn jack you seem to be getter buffer every day" Jack shows no emotion on his face but he's secretly happy to be receiving the compliments

Azul

I like to think he still has a bit of a tummy. It is implied that he has have an ED due to being bullied and an ED is something really sad to think about as much as I don't want to admit it I believe he may have one :(

His parents are divorced and I think he considers his step dad his "real dad". Now I don't know if he gets visitation, but basically in his mind he already replaced his deadbeat dad (I named him Liam because of a tik tok)

Ursula Canonically has a younger sister named Morgana so with this logic I want to say Azul as a half-brother who is an Affair baby. (I say half because biologically if you share a same mother you are technically full, but because Liam is his bio dad and he had another son it's half) and because of Morgana's character I think Azul wants to get to know his brother however I think his brother despises him and refuses too. New oc coming up.

Jade

Moray Eels have shitty vision so Jade wears glasses at night but contacts in the day. Floyd has glasses but chooses not to wear them Jade most likely tries to convince him to wear contacts 50% of the time he doesn't.

My favorite head cannon about Pookie Jade is he grows poisonous flowers and Poisonous flowers are one of my favorite interests. He likes to grow Oleander, Belladonna (Deadly Nightshade), and Azaelea. I feel like if he had a better greenhouse he can grow poisonous shrooms as well. (NOW I'm not saying he kills people, but Mafia theory people)

Floyd

Whenever Octo trio go swimming in a public place or at a beach, lake, etc. Floyd accidentally flashes people and almosst got charged with Public indecency many times so he's been banned from swimming in public.

Shrimps and Moray's have symbiotic relationship so I can imagine if he takes a liking to someone and names them his Shrimpy I bet he'd get real happy if they groomed him via brushing his hair, cleaning him up, etc. He'd give them food and would be their protecter by default in short he'd be down bad.

I wouldn't be surprised if he has ended up in Juvie before and probably has but got bailed out.

[itsmattchou]

even if it's a dream, i like it !

pairing: zb1 maknae line x fem!reader warnings: swearing, broke reader, mentions of food, reader being drunk in gyuvins, english isn't my first language!!! genre: fluff, kind of crack if you squint synopsis: zb1 + kdrama cliches notes: had that idea so long ago and finally i have done it!! yay yippee. school has started again n i am not haply about it

SHEN QUANRUI :: rich boy x poor girl

who's seen this coming? everyone. everyone did.

ADDITIONALLY he fits the secret millionaire trope (my dream fr) but that's for another post

you grew up in a poor household, sometimes struggling to afford basic things

so you had a job after school to help your parents with money

your grades weren't all that good either as you barely had time to study

so now, after graduation, your job kind of ✨sucked✨

you work in some korean bbq shop and the salary is pretty much mid🥰

there was a group of people that were regulars at your store; they were most likely working at that firm nearby and went out to eat here because it was most convenient

but there was also a really handsome man among these people, and he seemed kind of interested in you???

but he always wore luxury items and shii n that stuff is intimidating, especially to a broke loser like u r

until he suddenly entered the shop without his colleagues and ordered what he usually ordered

but BAM when he paid he also asked your for your number and also asked you out on a date

BAM you said yes

bro took you out on multiple dates, always trying to woo you with his wealth but you weren't really affected by it (you know that scene in business proposal? "you know what my love and this card have in common?"? yes he pulled that stunt too. INSPIRED by the kdrama of course!)

IT HONESTLY THREW HIM OFF. but it also made you even more interesting to him so💕

you finally convinced him to let you plan a date and let you pay for everything (it took a lot of convincing.) and on that date you managed to learn more about his real personality he usually hid behind all his money

lovelicky > rich ricky every day fr

anyway you started being gf bf eventually!! he was out there spoiling you rotten and you were trying your hardest to keep him humble

lovely😍

KIM GYUVIN :: piggyback ride

for the sake of this headcanon. you two are legal adults OKAY?

SO you two were working in the same company!

he was the fun and loud colleague, while you were mostly keeping to yourself and focusing on work

you weren't all that close at all, more like acquaintances

but he was very nice to be around, so you liked working with him🫶

as you've seen it in kdramas, the whole group of colleagues sometimes goes out to eat or drink!

so now you were in some korean bbq restaurant (the stories connect😱) with them yay

gyuvin was busy telling a story about his pet toad gerald he had at age 7, ricky was busy staring at one of them korean bbq workers, and you were silently deciding on drinking tonight or not

but as you've also seen in kdramas, your higher ups ended up making you drink a shit ton with them for NO FUCKING REASONNN👹

it didn't help that your alcohol tolerance was really low too

so by the end of the night you were pretty much wasted. but hey, at least you were conscious!

gyuvin really liked you and your shy persona! so he was like "yo let me take her home" when your colleagues tried to figure out how to get you home

he knew you lived close by so he just decided to give you a lil piggyback ride to your home

you were way more outgoing when drunk, gyuvin figured

you were chewing his ear off about some drunk nonsense he could barely understand because you kept mumbling

when you arrived in front of your apartment, he made you enter the pin code and brought you in, trying to get you ready for bed (more or less)

you kept blabbering and somehow ended up crying your eyes out because you remembered gyuvins pet toad gerald had died

bro was straight up panicking😭😭

he tried to comfort you and (another cliché) you ended up falling asleep on him, leaving him NO CHOICE other than staying the night🫶🫶 because YOU DID NOT LET GO 👹

PARK GUNWOOK :: "yes, very beautiful."

schoolmates/friends to lovers? yes very much🥰🥰

and to spice it up you can imagine it as academic rivals to friends to lovers

ACADEMIC RIVALS TO LOVERS IS SUCH A GUNWOOK TROPE UGHHHHH💥

but, this too, is for another post <3

anyway!!

so i'm pretty sure south korea does not have a 4th of july typa thingy

or do they? i have no idea

but let's pretend they do! i mean why shouldn't south korea celebrate america's independence?! 😁

it was the day of that long awaited cool festival yay! and your friendgroup decided to go together

gunwook n you are in said friendgroup ^

so after school all of you met up at the festival ground and started to check out all the tents and what not

the hours went by quickly and the fireworks, the highlight of that festival, were getting closer n closer

but this is a fucking kdrama so naturally your friendgroup got separated because of the big crowd shortly before the fireworks started🥰

leaving you and gunwook alone. obviously

figuring you wouldn't be able to find your friends before it started, you two just searched for a nice spot to watch from

gunwooks mind was just racing because poor boy highkey has a crush on you (and you were oblivious to it👍🏻)

you found a great spot, not all too crowded and the firework show went off

it was really a gorgeous sight. all those different colors in the nightsky and the stars?? pretty

you were watching excitedly, your eyes practically glowing

"wow, look at this gunwook!! isn't it beautiful?", you asked, thinking he was watching the fireworks just like you did

he was watching you instead, a small smile forming on his lips at the endearing sight of you

"yes, very beautiful," he answered, truthfully

HAN YUJIN :: you trip and he catches you

now this one isn't only a kdrama cliché but you get it

off topic but i was reading that book where this happened like 5 times before they officially started dating (in 200 pages) i was screaming because it was so oVERUSED

anyway! now i'm also using this overused thing! yay! 🤩

so idk if you remember but i wrote one reaction that was like "them when you fall asleep on their shoulder". this thing happened prior to that (you n yujin really are a kdrama couple bro)

so your class were on this fun class trip where you were just. walking through a forest.

and the guide was talking about nature and shit, which wasn't very interesting, not gonna lie💀💀

so you were playing around with your friend yujin

who also happened to be your crush WHAAAAAT😱

you two were walking at the very back, not really trying to keep up with the rest of your class

but still making sure not to fall behind too much. losing them would be a big no no🥴

the path, of course, wasn't very even

it's a in a fucking forest after all WHAT DID U EXPECT

so while talking to yujin about something silly that happened to you just a few days ago, you weren't really paying attention to where you were going

and ended up falling over a branch! oh no!

but yujin reacted quickly and caught you before you could hit the ground, one hand grabbing your arm and the other holding your waist

CUE that short n awkward moment of eye contact while you're still in shock

"uhm" "yeah"

he let's you go and you two just continue going your way, pretending that shit never happened for the sake of everything 🥰

[xxsugarbonesxx]

miguel tingz that wont leave my brain

a/n: I have a few thoughts on my wife Miguel that echo through the vast emptiness I call my noodle. Please be nice to me this is my first time :,(. Think of this as word vomit, enjoy. Or don't, I don't care, I'm not your mom. Slight NSFW at the end if you squint????

I think this is kinda like he retires as spidey and settles down. He marries (you in this senario) and has a couple kids, now that he doesn't have to save the universe constantly, he's much more relaxed, but his previous life does tend to slip out here or there.

Bro has a dad bod, his arms and legs are thick with muscle, he's still got those big ass hands and super strength. But now he was a chubby tummy, with lots and lots of hair. A thick happy trail that leads down to the base of his thick cock. Arm, leg and chest hair, maybe he's got a bit of a trimmed beard moment?? I feel like he has a short wolf cut now, something kinda shaggy but doesn't touch his neck just yet.

I feel like Miguel enjoys danishes. Stuff with light icing, flaky pastry insides and some sort of berry. I think he'd like cherry or black berry the most. Bear claws too, almond desserts 'n' such. But the danishes are the sweetest thing he can eat. His teeth are really sensitive to cold and sugar. But I like to think he get something sugar-y as a treat for himself very rarely and just powers through the discomfort.

He has a very thought out and meticulous hair routine. Maybe skin too, I dunno...but his bathroom sink is full of fancy product he uses, if you were to use some of it without his knowing, he'd know exactly how much was used by holding the container. He's very precise, mans has spent YEARS perfecting his routine to get everything just so. He likes feeling handsome and clean I feel.

He smells warm. Something cozy, like fresh citrus, firewood and dark chocolate. Paired with his natural musk, bro smells heavenly. He has a lot of colognes, fancy rich guy colognes to be more specific. The man is rolling in it. He keeps the lights on at the Spider Society, that power bill has to be atrocious by just looking at the architect of the building. And his universe is set in the future, so inflation has to make it even worse.

He dances like a dad. Specifically a dad who loves to embarrass his kid(s). Thought this was a normal get together and daddy dearest would finally behave? NOPE. I feel like he has that one song that just sets him off, that one song that makes him have his little 'dance like no body's watching moment'. So much so said kid(s) would shudder as the beginning would play. And he'd maintain eye contact through out it. He's dancing and he's staring his kid(s) down, the ultimate power move, reminding them there's nothing they can do and pops will always be there when they need him the least to embarrass them.

He'd be very warm and sweet and doting to his kid(s) and you, though he can kinda be sassy with them. But anyone outside of his circle, he'd be very cold like how we see him during the movie. He totally talks shit about people he doesn't like to you. "Can you believe Sonia's husband, he's such a tool. I really--I honestly just can't with him..." He'll say as he sighs, massaging his temple as he nurses a glass of red wine.

He's a wine mom, he'll end the week on the couch with a cheesy telenovela that he's lowkey obsessed with though plays it off like it's nothing. Sipping his glass curled up with you, going back and forth between watching the show and gossiping like a auntie. If you work, he needs to know the scoop. Tyler is married to Pamela but Pamela is swapping spit with that Melina? His undivided attention.

He cuddles. If you've every shared a bed with a bernese mountain dog, you know what I'm talking about. His whole body weight on you, his head on your shoulder and his legs tangled with yours. I feel like he sleeps naked, skin on skin, keeping you nice and warm all night long as he snores. He cock warms too, his fat cock pushed deep inside you, your velvet walls cradling his length as you two spoon. If he wakes up first, he'll slowly buck his hips into you with his nose buried into your hair. The sound of soft claps and sweaty grunts as your wake up call.

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

Gaston taking everything as a challenge considering he’s said something as ridiculous as “No one orders decaf like Gaston!”

It soon devolves into “No one cares for Yuu like Gaston!”

“No one protects Yuu like Gaston!” *Punches Mortimer*

“No one spoils Yuu like Gaston” *Blows his life savings on buying things for Yuu*

And then Ashton Vargas and Gaston get competitive on who’s the better father figure for Yuu, and everyone is just so tired of these macho meatheads

I love Coach Vargas. He's such a sweet guy and such an overprotective uncle for Yuu.

He and Hercules are like those himbo bros that are like:

When the staff (except Trein because he doesn't really seem like the type to me) come to the club it's like this:

Crewel: Sitting with Cruella as they talk about fashion and do whatever rich stylish people do as he keeps a keen eye on Yuu. He's rather friendly with Roger and Anita as well. He probably brings his own dalmations which hang around with Pongo and Perdita's lot and he loves to dote on all of the 101 Dalmation dogs.

Sam: his friends from the other side know Dr Facilier's friends from the other side. His shadow and the shadowman's shadow are practically BFFs that love to make mischief, cause trouble for their humans and chase Peter Pan's shadow. He's very chill with his OG counterpart and the two discuss their voodoo, hoodoo and the things they've never even tried.

Vargas: CHAOS, CHAOS, CHAOS! Who let these two gym bros get within ten feet of each other. Five seconds after meeting their engaged in the most dramatically serious/tense arm wrestle of the century. Behind them, Hercules and Luisa Madrigal are hyping them up as a crowd forms and cheers. Abu is seen stealing from the betting pools that are forming as the staff try to get everyone to calm down. The two then try get Yuu to get to eat four dozen eggs every morning to help her get large.

Gaston's a meathead but he's an alright meathead in this AU. I guess that part of the reason that he likes Yuu is because she lets him talk about himself (which he loves to do - but so do most villains). She's always impressed when he shows off, like when he plays with darts (but he has to be refrained from 'expectorating' by the other villains who really don't want to see any of that).

He also thought that it was a good idea to proudly give her a rifle that was then immediately confiscated by Minnie.

(Gaston: But Mulan gave her a sword!

Mickey: Do I look like the type of mouse who would tell Mulan what she can or can't give?)

Lefou is cool to hang around with. He's like Kronk and Smee where he's a good guy that does evil things because they genuinely care about the villain and aren't villains themselves.

[xdaddysprincessxx]

Sweet Creature

Vamp Ezra x SW!f!reader

Warnings: Dark/Dead dove, tw: sexual assault (it’s not explicit but it is there, sex work IS NOT glamorous) Vampirism, sex work(reader is a high end escort), finance bro talk (idk it’s like one sentence), boot riding, blood, p in v (wear a fucking condom my dudes), neck biting, oral (f receiving), I believe that’s it, lightly edited, all mistakes are mine.

A/n: if you can’t tell by now that I have a raging boner for vampires, well then idk what to tell you.

Moodboard made by moi 😇

The cold, winter air hits your face as you walk out of the Hilton hotel. You pull your faux fur coat tighter around your body as you make your way to the car sitting at the curb waiting for you.

Opening the back door and ducking your head as you lower yourself into the black Rolls Royce your mistress sent for you. Sliding over the black leather seat, you quickly got comfortable and relaxed as your driver pulls off to take you back to your shared townhouse. About two years ago, you met this beautiful woman named Serena and the two of you became friends. She knew of this “job opportunity” and told you how perfect you’d be for it. She explained how all you had to do was go on a date with this old, rich guy. He’d pick you up, take you to dinner and drop you back off at home after. He would pay for everything and all he wanted was your time and attention. Easy right? Wrong. You went on that date with what’s his name? Richard or something? He picked you up from her place, took you to this super fancy restaurant, ordered pasta and lobster for you and made sure to keep your wine glass full. After dinner, once the two of you were in his car instead of going towards your friend’s apartment where he picked you up from, he took a different route leading to a sketchy ass looking hotel. You weren’t in the most sober mindset so it didn’t really occur to you to be scared or nervous. Richard had been lovely all night. You followed him inside and it became a huge regret of yours very soon. You see Richard was not a nice man at all. It didn’t matter that you said no. You said yes to going to dinner with him. You said yes to spending his money just fine. After he had his fun, he left you laying on the bed covered in his spend and tears running down your face. He did leave you six thousand dollars in an envelope on the dresser for you. The money didn’t take away the pain but it did help dry your tears some. And that’s how you found yourself working for Serena as one of her girls. You’ve managed to make a name for yourself in the escort industry. Billionaires, athletes, actors, if they had money and a dick, they asked for you. By name. You had the best pussy and you weren’t this little submissive girl to them either. You had a sassy mouth on you and you weren’t afraid to tell them where,what,how and why. That was part of your appeal. You were effortlessly cool and dominating in a way that these men liked and craved from a woman. All too soon your ride came to an end as you pulled up to your townhouse. Braving the cold once again, you got out and walked up to the door and let yourself in.

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Another Friday night and you unfortunately found yourself stuck going to this gala as some finance bro’s date. All you wanted to do was stay home, lay around in sweats and eat junk food and watch your fave true crime shows. But here you are in a gorgeous black, floor length strapless dress with a high slit on the side. The gala is held at the Four Seasons Hotel and you already know your date has a room ready for after the event is over. Your walking around with a flute of champagne while you listen to these old, rich dudes talk about whatever out of touch shit they talk about. That’s when you spot this little patch of blonde hair attached to these beautiful brown curls. Ezra. You’ve never gone on a date with him but he runs in the same circle as the guys who do hire you so you’ve met him before. He’s always such a mystery to you. There were rumors about him. People always said they’ve never seen him during the day, he only shows up to events at night, he refuses to be photographed, and a few have said he’s a biter. One girl you knew from working for Serena, she had gone on a date with him except she said he never ate in front of her, only drank a little wine and claimed he bit her neck. She even had these weird little puncture marks. Unfortunately like a couple of days after that she went missing. The rumors never bothered you though, a lot of the men who frequent Serena’s are very weird. You have noticed how he always seems to undress you with his eyes every time you see him. A huge part of you wished he would call for you and whisk you away from this lifestyle. Standing with what’s his face, Derek? No. Steve maybe? Anyways You get lost in your little daydream about the man you wished you came with when you suddenly feel the eyes of someone watching you.

“Well hello gentlemen and ladies.” You hear a southern, husky voice say. You turn your head to the left and see Ezra has made his way over to your little group. Standing there in an all black tux, eyeing him up and down, your cunt clenching when you saw the boots he had on. As dominant as you are with your clients, Ezra is the one man you want to submit too. The one you want to kneel down for and do as he says.

“You look extra delectable tonight birdie if I do say so myself.” Ezra says to you, causing your cheeks to heat up as you blush

“Oh thank you Ezra, your flattery is always welcomed.” You say back, doing your best to brush off the fact this man affects you greatly.

“Ah Ezra how are you? We were just discussing the current stock market situation and who should be dropping what stocks. Care to chime in?” Your date says.

“As much as I would love to discuss the stock market I actually came over to whisk your lovely date away for a quick word.” Ezra replied as he held out his hand towards you, hoping you’d take it and leave with him.

Taking his hand and thanking whatever god is out there for this rescue, “Of course, I’ll be right back honey” you tell your date, handing him your champagne flute before you walk hand in hand with Ezra out of the gala.

Once the two of you were out of the ballroom, you cleared your throat, “So what exactly did you want to talk about?”

“I saw how beautiful you looked tonight and couldn’t let you continue to go to waste out there. Those men never deserved you birdie.”

His words caused a deep blush to cover your cheeks. Finally he’s calling on you. He wants you! You’ve been waiting on this for what feels like forever. Ezra is actually whisking you away even if only for the night.

The two of you finally stop in front of suite 108, Ezra let’s go of your hand to grab the key out of his pocket and quickly unlocks the door, ushering you inside. Taking a few steps in, Ezra comes up behind you placing his hands on your hips as he guides you over to the king sized bed. As the two of you come to a stop at the foot of the bed, you notice a floor to ceiling mirror directly in front of the bed, along with these gorgeous blood red roses sitting in various vases around the room. Some roses were even laying on the bed. Turning around in his arms you lift your arms around his neck,

“What’s all t-“ Ezra cuts you off, placing a finger over your mouth.

“Shh no more questions. I’ve been watching you for awhile now birdie. Always with a different man, selling your body. I know you hate it. I’ve been waiting for the right time but unfortunately there isn’t a right time so I’m taking you. Make you mine. Mine to love and feed on and use as I please.” He says before ducking his head down and leaving a kiss on the base of your throat. He makes his way up your neck, leaving a trail of kisses, causing your brain to shut off almost instantly.

“You always smell so divine my love. I can hear your delicious blood flowing through your body, your heart beating as if to say it’s mine for the taking,” he says in between kisses, “mm yes you will be the most tasty little treat I’ve had the pleasure of having.”

Now that’s a very weird way of saying he wants you. What exactly does that even mean? He can hear my blood? You aren’t exactly vanilla when it comes to sex but blood play is a new kink for you. Tilting your head back to allow him more room, Ezra starts to suck right below your ear earning him a beautiful soft moan to tumble out of your mouth. Soon his mouth leaves your neck as he starts to guide you down towards the floor.

He’s still standing, just bent over as you are almost on your knees in front of him. He pushes the tip of his boot in between your legs.

“Sit down birdie. Go on. I’m not a patient man.”

Without hesitation, you straddle his boot, sitting all the way down. You can feel it all along your wet cunt. Looking up at Ezra, who’s now standing straight up again, you can’t help but squirm ever so slightly as he reaches down and swipes his thumb on your bottom lip.

“That’s it pretty girl. Show me how well you can ride my boot.”

You begin to rub your cunt on his boot just as he asked, taking his thumb in your mouth. You lightly suck his thumb as you hold onto his leg and ride his boot. You can feel yourself get wetter by the second. The dominance he’s showing over you is the biggest turn on ever. All you want to do is show him how good you can be. You keep your eyes locked with his the whole time. You start to feel him tap his foot up, hitting your clit as you ride. Your little red lace thong you had on was completely soaked at this point. It barely covered you to begin with, now it’s practically useless but you love it. You can feel the sleek black leather, the little ridges of the seams, all it does is make you start to ride him faster wanting to feel ecstasy.

“Oooh that’s it birdie. Rub your sweet little cunt just like that. I bet you’re soaked aren’t you? Ah yes. Yes you are aren’t you birdie? Look at you. Riding my boot and sucking my thumb wishing it was my cock. What a beautiful sight you are.”

You have drool running down your chin and you just know his boot is soaked from your juices. You’re so close it’s almost embarrassing how quick it’s taken you just from rubbing yourself on his boot. It makes you feel like a damn virgin discovering your clit for the first time. Ezra removes his thumb, pinching your face as he pulls you up off his boot and turns you in his arms to face the mirror.

Forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror that’s when you notice, you can only see yourself! But Ezra is right there! Why isn’t he in the reflection looking back at you too?

Still holding your face, Ezra runs his nose up the side of your neck, inhaling deep. “Scared yet birdie? You really should be.” He says in a low gravelly tone. Once he spoke those words, your eyes went wide as he opened his mouth wide exposing his fangs as he bites down on your neck.

You try to scream, your mouth dropping open as this searing pain heats up your whole body. You try your best to flail your arms when the pain changes to a sweet sweet sensation that you find you never want to go away. Raising your arm, you find his head and card your fingers through his hair. Gripping onto his luscious brown curls, you do your best to keep his head right where you want him.

All too soon Ezra lifts his face away from your neck, blood dripping down his chin. His entire lower face is covered in the liquid. It’s the most erotic sight you’ve ever seen. With your hand still in his hair, you push his face towards yours, kissing him deeply. You feel him push his tongue into your mouth, tasting the metallic liquid you can’t help but want more of it. You suck his tongue best you can, continuing to kiss him as if your life depended on it.

Ezra pulls away, blood colored saliva strings connecting you two. His lips all plumped and bruised from the intense kiss you two shared. You feel his hand pull on your dress zipper as his other hand roams all over your body. In an instant you feel your dress fall exposing your bare breasts and soaked thong. Ezra slowly moves down, taking a breast in each hand. He gives each nipple a gentle suck before he continues on his way down.

Ezra’s on his knees in front of you as he looks up giving you these big puppy dog eyes. You reach down and cup his messy, beautiful face. He lifts one of your legs so it bends,

“Such a sweet, beautiful creature you are birdie,” he says before placing a kiss on the inside of your knee, “Now you’re a child of the night. You’re mine for the rest of eternity.” He tells you as he goes to peel your thong off your body. You help by stepping out of it, placing your hands on his shoulders for stability.

“And you’re mine Ezra. If I’m yours, you are mine.”

He growled in response, his eyes rolling back in delight. “Of course my love. We belong to each other now.” He says as he goes to lick a wide stripe up your wet slit. His big hands gripping the globes of your ass as he starts to lick into your cunt, exploring your entrance with his tongue. Your fingers card through his hair, gripping tight and pulling him more into you as you begin to rub your pussy on his willing mouth. You’re mesmerized looking at Ezra on his knees, eating your cunt like it’s his last meal. He looks up at you as he puts his lips around your clit and sucks. You’ve been ate out before but for some reason this is the greatest feeling you’ve ever felt. In fact everything feels better than it ever has.

Just as soon as you get close once again, Ezra pulls away. It’s as if he knows your close and he’s just teasing you. You let out a frustrated whimper as he pulls you down onto the floor with him. Laying you on your back, he climbs on top of you as he goes to kiss you again. Your tongues licking into each others mouths, you can taste yourself on him making you moan out loud. You can feel Ezra’s free hand go down and start to unbuckle his pants. He pulls away as you both go to work to free his cock from their confines. As soon as you see his thick cock you let out a gasp as you go to wrap your hand around him. He’s easily the biggest you’ve ever seen, your hand doesn’t even fit around him. Giving him a few pumps, he goes to move your hand away as he takes over, rubbing his cock through your soaked folds, collecting your wetness on himself before notching himself at your entrance. He pushes into you in one swift motion before he begins just pounding the shit out of you. His heavy balls slapping on your ass as his thick cock stretch’s you out like you’ve never been stretched before. It takes your breath away, all you can do is lay there with your arms wrapped around him tight and just take what he gives you. He dips his head down and starts sucking and leaving wet open mouth kisses on your neck. The only noise in the room is the wet slapping of your bodies meeting and the soft moans and grunts coming from you both. Ezra slows his thrusting down, grinding his cock deep inside of you making your eyes roll back. The two of you lost in the all of the sweet pleasure. Ezra’s face is hovering over yours as the two of you stare deep into each others eyes. The feeling of his cock massaging your walls has you both doubled over in ecstasy.

Without speaking, Ezra picks up speed again thrusting deep in your pussy. His forehead falling on yours as his eyes close, you feel him snake his hand down and his thumb gently circling your clit is your undoing. You hit your high, screaming out loud as he lets out a loud moan, laughing a little, “That’s it birdie cum for me. Soak my fucking cock my sweet creature. Nngh that’s it baby fuck I can feel you choking my cock. Just like that baby that’s it ooh. Oh fuck,” he grunts out as he hits his high. You can feel his cock throb and pulse deep inside you, his thick load coating your walls. His face still pressed to yours, his aquiline nose smooshed next to yours as you both lay there, catching your breath. You smile, breathing out a little giggle before you kiss the side of his mouth.

“So forever huh? I get to enjoy this for the rest of my days?” You say as you open your eyes to see him above you with a silly little grin on his face.

“I told you birdie. We’re children of the night. I’ve made you mine. And I have no problem reminding you every day and night that your mine and mine only.” He said punctuating that last few words with a deep grind of his cock.

“That’s fine with me.” You say with a breathless giggle. The two of you lay like that for awhile before he got hard again. He took you in every position on every surface that night. The next day you two stayed in bed, curtains closed. Once night hit, you left with Ezra, hand in hand, ready to spend eternity with him.

A/n: okay sooo we will def be seeing more of these two again!! I hope y’all like this! Every like/reblog/comment makes my day and I appreciate every single one of you babes!

Tagging my fellow vampire lovers: @patti7dc @multiversed-daydreamer @lumoverheaven @iamasaddie @toxicanonymity @bonezone44 @survivingandenduring @neverwheremoonchild

[fandomnsfw]

Doll House - Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Prompt: Doll House by Melanie Martinez

Warning: None really...a little blood I guess? Mainly Fluff

Thank you to my Beta @lets-imagine-fanfics once again for fixing my screw ups! XD

ENJOY!!

******

You walked into the school, a smile firmly placed on your face as the girls spoke about their weekend. Jenny was talking about her date with Mark while Anna was laughing about something Hayley had said. You spotted your brother across the hall and waved as the girls started swooning over him.  

“Hey, big bro. How was practice?” You asked with a sweet smile.  

“It was good. Hey, what time is mom co-”  

“Yo, Xavier, you forgot your phone!” You heard a voice exclaim as he spluttered out the changing room.  

“Thanks, Stilinski.” Your brother laughed before pocketing his phone.  

“Hi Y/N.” Stiles muttered with a grin.  

��Hi, Stiles.” You giggled as he ran his hands through his hair which was still wet, from what you guessed was the showers. You walked off with the other girls who instantly started gossiping about your brother.  

“I dunno about Xavier but Stiles got hot recently.” Anna sighed, fanning herself before bursting into a fit of laughter along with the other girls.  

“Anna’s right, Stilinski buffed up and grew his hair out. He looked like the perfect guy, I mean if you get rid of the spazziness.” Jenny snorted, as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.  

“I gotta go grab something from my car before class, I’ll see you later!” You exclaimed cheerfully before making your way to your car.  

You took out a packet of cigarettes lighting one up before taking a much-needed drag. You felt yourself instantly relax. It wasn’t like you hated your friend it’s just they were very superficial and you had enough superficial people in your life to know that you’d never have true friends as long as you kept them around. You glanced at your phone as you took another drag from the cigarette.  

Mom - ‘Going out tonight won’t be back till late. Use the credit card to eat out.’  

Dad – ‘Working late tonight.’  

You snorted as you read your parent’s texts before throwing your phone into your Prada handbag. As you took another drag you heard someone speak from behind you.  

“You know that’s bad for you right?” You’d recognise that voice anywhere. That voice was attached to the man you’d fantasised about on a regular basis. Stiles Stilinski.  

“You know it’s rude to pry right?” You snarled as you took another drag.  

“Oh, so now that your friends and brother aren’t round you show your true colours.” He snorted sarcastically.  

“No, more like I don’t feel the need to act like a fake Barbie doll now my friends aren’t around.” You sighed as crouched down.  

“I used to know someone like you.” He chuckled, as he squatted down in front of you.  

“Lydia Martin.” You huffed with a laugh.  

“The love of Stiles Stilinski’s life.” You added sarcastically.  

“Oh, so you heard about that?” Stiles laughed, running his hands through his slowly drying hair.  

“Everyone knows. It’s also like everyone knows not to touch Lydia now because it’s like a written law that you two will end up together. Small town. People gossip.” You scoffed irritably.  

“Lydia’s in love with someone else. I’m over her. We’re friends. I know you were dating Kieran and everyone kept saying you two were the perfect couple that you’d marry each other straight outta high school but last week you broke up.” Stiles retaliated softly with a sad smile.  

“He didn’t know the real me. Seemed cruel to keep leading him on.” You muttered with a frown as you thought about your parent’s marriage.  

To everyone in this town your family was perfect and rich but behind closed curtains, your entire family was fucked. Your brother smoked weed constantly, your mother was an alcoholic and your father was a cheating piece of shit that brought his mistresses home.  

It’s not a family if you have to pretend.  

“You’re different from what I thought.” Stiles whispered, more to himself than you.  

“Why? Because I’m not perfect?” You huffed with a dark laugh.  

“No. You seem less…Doll-like…I feel like when I see you I’m staring at a fragile doll-like if I touch you or stare too long you’ll break.” Stiles sighs sadly, causing you to stare at him in shock. He hit the nail on the head. You put out your cigarette before glancing up at him with a sad smile.  

“Sometimes the things that go on behind closed doors are things that have to be hidden for the sake of the family.” You replied the words taken from something your mother once told you.  

“If you can’t be true to yourself then you’re not living. You’re just breathing.” Stiles shot you a sympathetic smile that should have pissed you off but somehow it made you smile back.  

“My mom drinks…” You started as you stared at the ground.  

“She does it to forget my dad’s infidelity.” You laughed your tone dark and hateful.  

“That’s fucked up, dude.” Stiles huffed angrily.  

“You’re telling me…My brother started smoking weed last year to deal with it but now it’s like half the time I see him…He’s fucking stoned out his mind.” You whispered, the pain now evident in your voice.  

“I’m the first person you’ve told about this aren’t I?” Stiles muttered as he stood up, holding his hand out so he could help you up.  

“Yeah. I’ve seen you with your friends…You’re loyal. I feel like I can trust you.” You stated as you stared into his eyes looking for any sign you’d just fucked up by telling another person about your fake family.  

“I won’t tell a soul.” Stiles chuckled a big grin on his face.  

“Thanks, Stiles. You’re lucky to have friends and a dad like the Sheriff.” You commented shyly.  

“You know my dad?” Stiles commented confusion in his voice.  

“Yeah, he’s brought back my brother stoned or drunk a few times. Your dad never books him for it because I have a feeling he has an idea what goes on behind closed doors. He’s a good man.” You muttered softly as you remembered the conversation you had with the Sheriff.  

“Thanks. I think so too.” Stiles huffed proudly. You giggled at his expression before walking off.  

“Bye Stilinski!” You chuckled over your shoulder earning an excitable wave from the boy in return.  

Over the next few weeks you hung out with Stiles after school, occasionally some days he couldn’t come due to plans with his friends but if he couldn’t hang he’d text you constantly. You’d grown closer and it made you happy to be able to talk to someone about your problems.  

You got out of your car grabbing your white leather Chanel handbag before spotting Stiles’ jeep pull up. You looked around to check that your friends or brother weren’t about before running up to him and jumping on his back, not realising Scott was at the other side of the car.  

“Good morning Sti.” You giggled as you kissed his cheek.  

“Good morning princess.” He retorted sarcastically before glancing at Scott who was now staring with wide eyes.  

“Stiles, why is Xavier’s baby sister kissing you?” Scott muttered making you now very aware of his presence.  

“I-I only kissed his cheek I m-mean…It’s not l-like I…ya know.” You stuttered nervously as you looked around to check no one else had noticed the display.  

“Hey, Y/N, breath he’s just shocked. He doesn’t care.” Stiles chuckled softly as he ruffled your hair, earning a glare from you as you fixed your hair.  

“No, I don’t mind, just wondered. I didn’t realise you two were friends…Wait! Is this the girls you’ve been texting constantly, that’s had you smiling every 5 seconds.” Scott laughed as he pointed at Stiles with an amused face.  

“No!” Stiles shouted quickly.  

“No!?” You snapped angrily as you glared at him.  

“I mean yes!” Stiles corrected earning an eye roll from both you and Scott.  

“How come you never talk in school?” Scott asked causing you to freeze.  

“I didn’t wanna drag her down to my nerd depths.” Stiles chuckled as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.  

“Scott’s right, we should talk in school too!” You exclaimed as your heart started thumping nervously.  

“Y/N, you don’t have to-”  

“No, come on you can walk me to my locker!” You giggled plastering a fake smile on your face which you were sure Stiles could decipher by now. You linked arms with him and began walking towards the school.  

“Ha! No.” Stiles shook his arm out of yours shocking you and Scott.  

“I am not walking in there linking arms. I’ll look like your new gay bestie!” Stiles exclaimed dramatically causing you and Scott to burst out laughing. He threw his arm over your shoulder with a grin.  

“And walking in like you’re my new Bae is better?” You snorted as you wrapped your arm around his waist.  

“Don’t ever say Bae again or I’ll disown you but yes it's better.” Stiles laughed sarcastically, earning a slap to his chest from you.  

“I’d rather you really were my boyfriend but ya know.” You muttered under your breath.  

You walked into school with Stiles’ arm slung around you and it took all of 5 seconds before the whispers started. You kept your head up knowing if you lowered it, people would think you had something to be ashamed of.  

Scott glanced at you with wide eyes as if asking if you were okay but you just sent him a smile. He walked you to your locker where your friends were waiting. He gave you a hug before kissing your forehead.  

“Laters, princess.” He chuckled as you shot him a heart-warming smile.  

“Bye.” You whispered shyly and once he was gone the hyenas were on you so fast, you almost didn’t even see them move.  

“You’re dating Stiles!?” Jenny whisper yelled with wide eyes.  

“No.” You muttered quietly wishing you could say yes.  

“Then why did he call you princess and kiss you!?” Anna questioned angrily.  

“He’s a friend of mine.” You answered sweetly, trying to stop yourself from strangling each and every one of them. You ignore the rest of the questions and head to class as you took deep breaths and tried to calm down.  

When lunch came around you were worn out from all the questions from other students had been asking, so when lunch came around you went to the cafeteria and took your food to Stiles’ table. You looked around the table seeing no chairs so you just sat on Stiles’ knee. He made no comment as you started eating your lunch but you could see every one of his friend staring at you.  

“Why is Xavier’s sister sitting at our table?” Liam asked quietly.  

“I have a name too, Dunbar.” You huffed angrily as you shot him a frown.  

“Y/N, right?” Lydia asked sassily.  

“Yes, Lydia.” You answered just as sassily.  

“Woah! What happened to make you all pissy?” Stiles asked as he looked into your eyes.  

“Nothing.” You sighed as you looked away from his intense gaze.  

“Oh no, we’re not doing this again, princess. Tell me.” Stiles sighed his brow furrowing slightly.  

“I’ve been hounded none stop since this morning and I really want a smoke but I promised you I wouldn’t.” You pouted as you glanced at him briefly. Stiles nodded before picking up a fry and holding it to your lips without any more questions.  

“My question is why is she sat on Stiles’ knee?” Malia growled causing you to freeze. You remembered her and Stiles dating for a while but you were sure they’d broken up. Maybe you’d been wrong.  

“Why does that matter?” Jackson huffed obnoxiously.  

“There were no seats and Stiles is single and obviously her friend.” Ethan added earning a nod from Scott.  

You tried not to smile so you shoved another chip in your mouth. Stiles tucked your hair behind your ear sweetly before holding out his water bottle for you. You took it with a thank you before taking a sip. The rest of lunch went like this, though I could tell his friends felt a little awkward. Stiles reassured you they just had to get used to you.  

After you walked to your locker with him, he placed his hand to the side of your head against the locker. You glanced at him in suspicion before he leaned in and whispered in your ear.  

“Your girlfriends are staring from behind their books.” Stiles chuckled against your ear, sending shiver straight down your spine.  

“What, so you thought you’d make my life harder to explain by making it look like your whispering dirty shit in my ear.” You whispered back, purposely brushing your lips against his ear. He pulled back biting his lower lip to try and hide his smile.  

“I mean if you’d like me to make it easier I could totally whisper dirty things in your ear?” Stiles stated with a smirk. You let out a little snort even though you knew your cheeks were likely red but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.  

The rest of the day was filled with more questions and gossip but after spending lunchtime with Stiles you didn’t care. You head was filled with thoughts of him. Stiles had asked if you wanted to have dinner at his but you’d yet to go to Stiles’ house and you were honestly nervous. Would his dad be home? Would his dad like you even though he’d basically arrested your brother more times than you could count?  

At the end of the day, you followed Stiles home in your car with a nauseous feeling in your stomach from nerves but you ignored it as you pulled up and got out with your handbag. Stiles slung his arm over your shoulder which made you laugh remembering earlier in the day.  

You walked into his house following him to what turned out to be the kitchen. He grabbed two soda’s passing you one silently before his dad walked into the kitchen clearly shocked to see you in his kitchen drinking soda.  

“Hi, Y/N.” The Sheriff greeted with a small smile.  

“Hi, Sheriff.” You greeted politely, which made his smile widen.  

“Please call me Noah. I didn’t know you and Stiles were friends?” He questioned as he pulled out a bottle of water.  

“It’s a new development.” You laughed as Stiles looked between you and his dad quietly.  

“Oh, are you the new girl my son has been goi-”  

“Okaaaaay! That’s enough of that pops.” Stiles exclaimed with a glare.  

“Well, it’s good to see Stiles dating again.” The Sheriff huffed with a proud smile.  

“Oh, we’re not dating!” You squeaked with a blush.  

“God, no need to sound so offended.” Stiles snorted sarcastically.  

“The whole school thinks we’re dating if I was offended I’d correct them.” You replied, sticking out your tongue childishly.  

“Why does the whole school think your dating?” The Sheriff asked with a raised brow.  

“Cos Stiles put his arm over my shoulder when we went into school today, then at lunch he p-”  

“THAT’S ENOUGH OF THAT!” Stiles shouted rather loudly causing you to jump.  

“Well, that sounds like an eventfully day.” The Sheriff chuckled you nodded cheerfully as he started asking about the rest of your day.  

You sat in the living room with the Sheriff while Stiles made tea. His words were fatherly and caring which made you smile down at your lap happily. He asked about your brother which you awkwardly answered but he didn’t judge you or bring it up after that.  

“So, you like my son?” The Sheriff questioned as he stared at you over his coffee.  

“W-What?” You squealed a blush making its way to your face for what felt like the millionth time that day.  

“He may be blind but I’m not.” The Sheriff chuckled causing you to laugh.  

“Yeah…He’s sweet and he accepts me for who I am even though my family is screwed up. He’s very affectionate too.” You giggle as you remember all the forehead kisses and hugs he’s given you.  

“It appears you’re just as blind as my son.” The Sheriff mumbled making your eyes widen as if you’d miss heard it.  

“Pardon?” You asked politely.  

“Nothing, anyway Stiles should be done soon why don’t we go and sit in the dining room?” The Sheriff asked with a smile. You gave him a nod and followed after him.  

You sat down at the table with the Sheriff as Stiles served up lasagne. After he’d done he stroked your hair. You looked up at him and he kissed your forehead quickly before sitting down. You smiled happily as you dug into the food. Stiles cooking was beyond amazing, which honestly didn’t shock you because you knew his dad worked a lot and his mom wasn’t around so you figured Stiles knew how to cook.  

“This is really good!” He exclaimed with a giggle.  

“It’s my mom’s recipe she taught me how to make it.” Stiles muttered with a smile. You leant over and ran your fingers through his hair before caressing his cheek with your thumb. He glanced over at you with a grin and nodded to you letting you know he’s was fine.  

“You two are so sweet!” You heard a female voice come from behind you. You turned round to see Scott and Mrs McCall stood there.  

“Mrs McCall!” You giggled as you ran over to give her a hug.  

“Hi, sweetie. I didn’t know you and Stiles had started dating.” You let out a dramatic whine as the Sheriff and Stiles started laughing.  

“How do you know my mom?” Scott asked as he sat down with a plate of lasagne.  

“Ermm well…” You flushed as you awkwardly pushed your food around.  

“Y/N wants to be a nurse when she gets older.” Mrs McCall supplied while wiping sauce off the Sheriff's cheek causing him to grin.  

“Really? You never told me that.” Stiles gasped as he reached out to hold your hand.  

“This town is kinda accident prone so I want to be able to help people.” You giggled but for some reason everyone froze, causing you to frown. You felt like there was something you should know but you decided to leave it for now and ask Stiles later.  

A few seconds later there was a knock at the door you stood telling them you’d get it but what stood at the door shocked you to your core. There stood Jackson and Ethan holding a bleeding man that looked vaguely familiar.  

“Oh my god! Get him in here!” You screamed urgently.  

“Stiles, can you get me warm water, alcohol and a towel please!” You screamed as they laid the man down on the couch.  

“Wh- OH MY GOD, DEREK!” Stiles screamed as he ran up to the man.  

“STILES TOWEL, WATER, ALCOHOL GO!” You screamed as you ripped off Derek’s shirt seeing several slash wounds it looked like an animal had mauled him.  

“MELISSA, I NEED YOUR HELP!” You screamed as you took off your cardigan and held it to the worst wound. Melissa ran in with Stiles following. You took the towel and water before cleaning most of the blood when you’d done you grabbed the alcohol and looked up at Jackson and Scott.  

“Hold him down.” Was all you needed to say before you began cleaning the wounds with alcohol the man thrashed around and roared but right now the fact that this man had glowing blue eyes wasn’t a problem or something you could get scared of, right now you needed to stop his bleeding.  

“Ethan, hold his legs.” You screamed as his legs started kicking around.  

“Melissa, hold this for now.” You said pointing to the cardigan on the vastly bleeding cut.  

“I need you to tell me how to help him. He’s obviously not human and right now I have no idea whether I should call an ambulance or wait.” You sighed as you looked at Stiles.  

“Werewolf. He’ll heal fast.” Stiles muttered but instead of questioning you nodded and turned to the Sheriff.  

“I need a needle, lighter and thread. Even if he heals faster, it’s not going to stop bleeding until I close it.” You stated softly before turning to Melissa.  

“I think we should stitch this one then bandage his torso just until the bleeding stops.” You muttered softly as if asking for her approval.  

“Well done, Y/N.” She muttered in a soft motherly tone that made you smile.  

After Melissa stitched him up and bandaged him, Derek passed out. You picked up the remaining vodka and took a swing earning a raised eyebrow from the Sheriff. You stood up and crossed your arms.  

“I just tended to a bleeding dying man who turned out to be a werewolf. I think I deserve it.” You sighed before turning to Stiles.  

“Explain. Now.” You snapped angrily. You weren’t angry because Stiles associated with werewolves you were angry because he didn’t tell you. You had thought he trusted you.  

“That is Derek Hale. He’s a werewolf.” He stated simply with an awkward smile.  

“That much I already figured out myself, thanks. How many of your friends are wolves?” You sighed knowing that going back a few years Stiles wouldn’t have been seen dead with Jackson but now it was like they had mutual trust.  

“That’s not my secret to tell.” Stiles sighed softly.  

“Scott, your one right?” You questioned as you turned to him.  

“How?”  

“My brother has been playing lacrosse with you since freshmen year. You don’t think I noticed when you went from asthmatic and benched to first line with perfect health and reflexes?” You snorted before turning to Jackson and Ethan.  

“Ethan and his brother turned up when people started dying last year. I’m gonna go with your one and Jackson…You and Stiles used to hate each other and now you seem to have this weird mutual understanding. So I’m gonna go with you too. So that leaves you.” You pointed to Stiles.  

“What, you can’t suss me out?” Stiles chuckled with his arms crossed.  

“No, I can’t.” You muttered angrily as you glanced at Melissa you way wiping away Derek’s sweat.  

“Derek Hale. Cora Hales big brother and has an Uncle called Peter. The family died in a fire 12 years ago.” You muttered as you stared at the man.  

“How do you know that?” Stiles asked suspiciously.  

“Laura used to babysit me…” You whispered sadly as you remembered hearing about her death nearly 2 years ago.  

“Derek probably doesn’t remember me. We only met once or twice.” You snorted as you remembered the huge crush you used to have on him.  

“I used to have a huge crush on him. He’s grown a lot since I saw him so I didn’t recognise him until you said his name.” You muttered as you remembered all the times Laura teased you.  

“Why does everyone seem to like Derek Hale!?” Stiles grumbled childishly.  

“Because he’s hot.” You, Melissa, Ethan and Jackson said at the same time.  

“Objectifying a man while he’s passed out from blood loss. Classy, Y/N.” You heard a gruff voice mumbled. You looked down to see Derek with one eye open.  

“I was taught by the best.” You chuckled before you felt an arm wrap around you. You looked to see Stiles glaring at Derek who raised an eyebrow at you.  

“No, we’re not dating!” You snapped at him but he sent you a smirk.  

“Shut up, I don’t need your opinionated facial expressions, Hale.” You huffed as Stiles snorted next to you, before kissing your temple affectionately  

“You grew up.” Derek huffed  

“I feel old.” He added making you laugh.  

“So who runs the pack?” You asked softly as you glanced at Stiles. Stiles raised an eyebrow at you as if asking how you’d know that a pack needs a leader.  

“I read a lot of werewolf romance novels, okay? Don’t judge me!” You huffed with a blush as everyone laughed at you.  

“That would be me.” Scott chuckled but his answer had your jaw hitting the floor.  

“Scott McCall is an Alpha?” You gasped.  

Months after finding out you’d been accepted into the pack as another human member. You had settled in with everyone else, you finally stopped caring about fake friends and pretending to be someone else.  

You were currently sat at a pack meeting with Scott talking away about a pack that had asked permission to pass through. You’d zoned out to stare at Stiles who was sat next to Scott with a serious expression. He ran his hands through his hair before biting his lip in what looked to be stressed out manner.  

Once the meeting was over you grabbed yourself a water from Derek’s kitchen with a sigh. You wanted to tell Stiles how you felt but you had no idea how. Maybe you should just kiss him? Or jump his bones?  

You laughed at the thought, earning a raised eyebrow from Derek who had come to put the coffee pot on. You shot him a grin before skipping back to the living room. The pack were setting up a film so you sought out Stiles, spotting him sat in the corner of one of the couches.  

You sat on his knee then looked up at him with a smile which he returned. You decided while the pack was busy you’d make your move. You leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips before turning to the film with a blush creeping up your neck. However, as you finally started calming your heart, you were picked up.  

“We’ll be back in a minute.” Stile stated as he carried you to the kitchen bridal style.  

“Wanna tell me what just happened?” Stile asked seriously which honestly scared you.  

“I-I kissed you?” You supplied, though it came out more like a question.  

“Why?” He asked just as seriously as before.  

“Because I like you…if not m-more than th-that…” you stuttered your blush coming back tenfold. Just as you were about to get down Stiles cupped both your cheeks and planted a passionate kiss on your lips before pulling back and gazing into your eyes.  

“Thank god. I’ve wanted to do that for forever.” Stiles sighed before placing another kiss on your lips.  

“Would you do the honour of being my official girlfriend?” Stiles muttered with a small hopeful smile.  

“I would love to Sti.” You giggled happily.  

[poetry-protest-pornography]

I'm mostly just gonna copy paste my real time conversation with @hotasfahrenheit here, with a free added bits of thoughts:

My Stand In episode 2 thoughts

I wish they translated the title song, because it's tonally confusing

I love when the makeup team adds hickeys

I definitely watched some of this second episode, but I do but remember how far I got, so I'm just rewatching all the crazy

I really need this orgasm-sneeze to be the thing that tips Ming off

I need it

Joe, baby, you've known this man for five seconds, please do not tell him where your spare key is

Ming stop being so fucking awkward challenge

Ugh, Tong is such a dick

Why does anyone hire him? He's always late, he complains about having to do his job and threatens to need weeks off if he has to do one (1) thing....

Ming: "I'm feeling jealous, so I'm gonna be petty about it and hurt Joe's feelings"

Joe: "yeah, I should've expected this"

Ming: are you bisexual (accusatory) or banging the makeup guy?

Joe: I have friends???

(Mia: Listen Ming doesn't have friends so he doesn't understand what those are

Me: oh, that's very clear. Gee, I wonder why that is 🤣)

I love that Ming dresses exclusively in $500 shirts 🤣

Wait, is this girl supposed to be set up with Ming 🤣 He's such a bitch 😆 I love him (forgot to tell with Mia about his slutty little rich asshole silk robe, but bless him and the slutty little rich asshole robe)

(Mia: Ming doesn't know how to function as a person but he does know how to look like a rich bitch)

Joe translating his anger at Ming by being hard on his trainees... Oh baby, no

He's really just "I'm asking for a friend"ed 🤣🤣🤣

Oh, I love this girl actually

Joe with the sex puns, lmao

Ming smiling and then immediately suppressing it is so sad actually

Get therapy, my dude

THE SHEETS ARE WET I AM SCREAMING

THE SNEEZES OH MY GODDD

Also, the work bathroom hook up cut with the training session was *chefs kiss* (the way this built tension and also narrative, and like, showed Joe's inner thoughts? Incredible.)

(Mia: Pepzi, our queen) FOR REALZ

He knows Joe's coffee prep

This is so domestic? (This makes me feel crazy, actually. And Joe's genuine awe at being seen in this small way breaks my fucking hearrrt)

Joe. Baby. Again, it has been five minutes and three orgasms, you cannot invite him to move in

He's being so nice to the stunt men today 😂

Ming:

The way he said Joe's name while staring at Sol like "okay bitch, watch this" killed me

He knew Joe would go to him and he wanted Sol to know real bad

Sol is ready to Fite

Listen, I knew he made him sleep on the floor OF HIS OWN HOUSE, bit it's still deeply funny to me

And then, he's just staring at him while he sleeps waiting for him to wake up so he can give him the bitchiest look known to man

Ming: *is jealous AF*

Joe: you jealous bro?

Ming: No, who would even like you?

Joe: *is the world's saddest puppy*

"sit ups break my back, live breaks my heart". Baby, no.

Lovesick Joe= drill Sergeant

Post orgasm Joe = kindergarten teacher

Sad Joe = bad poet who can't do a sit up

(Mia and I had a conversation about how sometimes, very drunk people want to be on the floor in a blanket, and she is very correct)

Wait.

...

Did Ming go home and make himself the same ramen Joe made for him? (Because he was jealous and bitchy and ran away after making the boy he likes Dad on purpose)

THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE, ACTUALLY?!

Okay, considering Ming is in love with his sister's boyfriend, they actually have a really sweet sibling dynamic, and she is actually The Best.

Why can't we go to a movie and eat fondue? Why did Thailand get movies so much better than we do? Let me watch a movie in a bed or eat fondue while I watch my favorite blorbos.

But also, he clearly just needs like, so much therapy

Like, his thought process is "I love him, no one else can have him, I'm gonna kidnap him". Which is .. Not Normal People Thoughts

"even if I could be happy, I shouldn't be"

THERAPY. THERAPY FOR A THOUSAND YEARS

Sol: " I will flirt by kicking his ass and hoping he kicks mine back"

Oh shit, Joe really just fucking knocked him out 🤣

Ming having a crisis hearing Joe talk about what love is, and then that little smile when Joe said he wanted then to be a couple... (Joe's like, pathological inability to let himself experience emotions is... Several Problems)

This man is insane

Listen, if I'm supposed to hate Ming, they shouldn't have had Up play him

NOW HE'S AT JOE'S HOUSE PLAYING HOUSE HUSBAND. (WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?)

Rip curry

It's the ramen of suppressed feelings again

JOE STOP MAKING ME CRY CHALLENGE

Look, is Ming:

LADY AND THE TRAMP AND THE GRIP YOU HAVE ON THE THAI BL INDUSTRY

They're so cute that it's actually a crime that I know Ming is a whole red flag parade

The way Joe did the cutest little "please, tell me, please please please, I wanna hear you say the things we both know (you jealous baby)" and Ming was like "yeah okay, I will hum a quiet affirmative and we will never speak of it again" was so fucking cute. I am prepared to cry and scream and have my feelings hurt, but gosh do they do this well.

Okay, I have like, real actual thoughts about this, but also I do not. I am obsessed and too deep in it right now to words, but AAAHHHHHHH

[starsoftheeye]

TMAGP Episode 15 Live Reaction

I'm destressing after an exam so we're doing this again baby wooo

Pre-Episode

My YouTube keeps not showing the episode, it's been like an hour since the release and its still not up for me

It's not even up for my laptop this is so annoying

I can't remember how I got it to show up last time as well

Bro I keep refreshing my page and its not there WHERE ARE YOU???

Screw it Spotify get over here

THANK YOU SPOTIFY

who is this man and why is he just doing the toffee/gum in mouth/ face stretching exercise from every drama rehearsal i've ever been to

this is oddly scary

as a physics student... probably

oh its a gum ad

oooh implications

this podcast sounds cool

hi simon!!

i'm gonna stop talking about the ads now this post is so long already lmao

i love it when people dedicate episodes to their friends its so sweet

Pre-Statement

sam and celia!!

:0 he got them tickets? thats so sweet i love him

Theatre tickets can be fucking expensive as well jesus he is down bad

ah yes, my favourite piece of theatre to bring a date to: The Pillowman

i love them

alice!!

oooh luke mention

every thursday i listen to a new tmagp episode and every thursday my samalicelia post becomes a little more plausible

she has really thought this through huh

okay this is probably alice meddling out of jealousy but seriously you cannot expect me to hear her basically asking these two to hangout after theyve been on a date and expect my samalicelia brain to not go insane over it

aw alice :(

jack mention jack mention

"babys are cool" shes so me

aw celia i love her

uh oh sam and alice conversation

oh so now youtube decides to work

i cannot understand what sam said there but i'm assuming it was funny and only a bit passive agressive

Statement

Ah another voicemail

this guy sounds like tim but not

oh god what fucked up dinner party are the rich doing now

"they wanted to know whos kill they were eating" oh this is gonna be interesting

oh no theyre watching

ah yes, very informative "prepare"

whos gonna die

ooooh a fucked up woman i love fucked up women

i know this is probably a very important character and i should be paying attention but i am a mere lesbian and i am finding this woman very attractive right now

thats when you realised something was up?

oh im so gay

theyre gonna aim for the caterers they are not safe

bingo

theyre gonna make them run methinks

they killed all the birds

oh are they gonna make the caterers kill something/someone?

oh no steven :(

these people are being very vague id be asking so many questions

each other?

EACH OTHER

PLEASE BE EACH OTHER THATS SO COOL

EACH OTHER YES

I LOVE HUNTING STORIES

this guys enjoying this a little too much

go on boris

oh no boris :(

is she following him?

OH NO HE GOT CAUGHT

AHHHH WOMAN

SHES HOT

HUH????

CELIA RUN

actually no dont you have a better chance if you stay i think

SLAY CELIA

lena what did you do

this is weirdly homoerotic

GWEN???

GWEN WHAT DID YOU DO

GWEN I LOVE YOU BUT WHAT

CHESIRE BOUCHARDS WHAT

GWEN?????

Post-Statement

ooooh is this lukes band?

theyre good i like it

awww these two arent gonna survive together

damn hes doing well

pfffft weedy git i love luke already

hello?? whos this??

lady are you okay??

alice run

ALICE RUN

ALICE HONEY WHAT HAPPENED

yippee more trauma for her to cover up with jokes

is she doing ellie the elephant oh my god

oh shes back

yeah alice you should run

im betting this was the stranger from the magnus institute

i shouldve paid attention to her little ramble lol

oh my god so much is happening in this show and we're only on episode 15

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Mocking Libertarian Crypto-Bros is not a particularly high bar to vault.

That said, the tale of the Cruise Ship Satoshi is truly a masterpiece of Libertarian delusion running itself aground against the rocks of cold hard Reality.

[some excerpts: link to full story at bottom]

Except that Government and Industry already have definitions that reference each other; they can’t be the same thing. It’s. You don’t really understand what either of those words really mean, do you?

“Why isn’t everyone living this way” says man with wealth and privilege that would humble a medieval European prince.

(Pinches Brow) oh my god

A for-profit restaurant, I might add. Not a cafeteria or a mess hall; full service restaurant. Who they intended to bus the tables is anyone’s guess; hypothetical imagined table-bussing drones, probably, given the amount of pragmatism in play.

“We want entrepreneurs to come up with solutions and try them out” you could perhaps peruse 5,000 years of naval tradition for solutions. If you were so inclined. No? Pity.

Priorities in order, I see

AIRLINES, NUCLEAR POWER, AND PASSENGER SHIPS ARE HEAVILY REGULATED!? NO WAY!? I WONDER IF THERE HAVE EVER BEEN ANY LARGE DISASTERS IN THESE INDUSTRIES THAT MAY HAVE SPURRED THOSE REGULATIONS!?!?!?!?

“Working”

Completely detached. No grasp on reality.

Anyway if you want to read the whole story here ya go:

Eat The Rich