#bro needed something to clear any doubt

[ssj2hindudude]

Angry Feminists: WHY SHOULD SITA HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE TRIAL BY FIRE, SHE WAS THE ONE KIDNAPPED!!!

[inseobts]

Tell Me No Lies

law x fem!reader

you’re a psychologist who can spot any lie and that makes law keep his distance, afraid you’ll see how he truly feels. but when a mission forces you to pose as his lover, the lines between act and reality blur fast.

a/n: this was a request but since it's really long I summarized it

words count: 3.9k

tags: slow burn, mutual pining, undercover couple, spicy but not smut, fluff, tension, crewmates being chaotic

masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi

“You want me to do what?”

Your voice slices through the meeting room of the Polar Tang like a dagger, sharp, pointed, and just a little amused.

Penguin holds up his hands, grinning like he’s already imagined you and Law making out in a booth “Not my idea! Bepo came up with it.”

Bepo, ever innocent, blinks “It’s logical. Varrick lies constantly. You can tell when people lie. Captain’s the one meeting him. It’s simple.”

You stare “You want us to act like a couple.”

“Just for the night!” Shachi chimes in from where he’s stuffing chips in his mouth “The place is a casino-slash-brothel. No one goes in there looking like a business partner. You show up all cold and stiff, he’ll know something’s up.”

Law hasn’t said a word.

He sits at the head of the table, arms folded, expression blank. But you know that face. He’s thinking. Calculating. Fighting something.

Then, flatly “Fine.”

You blink “Fine?”

“You’ll have to stay close,” Law adds, eyes flicking to yours “I can’t talk in code around Varrick, and I doubt we’ll get a second chance if he feels like we’re onto him.”

“So, what, I sit on your lap and play with your hair while you ask about Navy routes?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

Penguin snorts soda through his nose.

Law doesn’t miss a beat “If it gets us the truth.”

You swallow hard. Because that should not have sounded that smooth.

Later, in your room, you stand in front of the mirror, pulling on the final piece of your dress, a deep red number that hugs your waist and legs and dips dangerously low down your back. You smooth it down, checking the slit up your thigh, the way the silk shimmers under the ship lights.

“You don’t have to look like a goddess,” you mutter to your reflection “You just need to catch a liar.”

But damn it, the dress works. And the second you step into the hallway, you hear Shachi’s voice echo from down the corridor “Caaaptaaaain!”

You freeze.

“Don’t be mad when she looks hotter than you, bro!” Penguin adds, loud enough that it bounces off the steel walls.

“Stop yelling” Law says from somewhere out of sight. His voice is tense.

You round the corner and stop dead.

Oh no.

Law... Law is in a black suit, crisp and clean, no tie, the top buttons of his shirt undone. His hair’s slicked back just enough to make your throat go dry. Tattoos peek out at the edge of his collar. He’s leaning against the wall, looking at his den-den mushi, but when he looks up and sees you his fingers still. His eyes trail down, slow. Too slow.

You hear Shachi whisper “damn” under his breath and fist bump Penguin like they just won a bet.

Law clears his throat “You’re… ready.”

You tilt your head, smirking “You look nice too. Didn’t know you owned a suit.”

“It was a gift” he mutters.

You take a step forward “From who? Someone who wanted to see you flustered?”

His jaw ticks “I’m not flustered.”

You do notice the slight red creeping up the back of his neck. Just a little. Enough.

Before either of you can pretend to be normal, the rest of the crew crowds the hallway behind you.

Bepo holds up a little camera “Say cheese.”

“We’re not taking pictures” Law snaps.

“Oh come on,” Penguin grins “Look at you two!”

“You’re never letting this go, are you?” you ask, eyes narrowing.

“Nope.”

Shachi elbows Bepo “Ten bucks says they come back married.”

Bepo nods solemnly “I’ll take that bet.”

Law groans and starts walking past them, ignoring the chaos.

You trail after him, heels clicking on the metal. As you pass the guys, you whisper, “Try not to blow our cover.”

Penguin winks “Go get that intel... and maybe some action.”

You don’t answer but your cheeks are hotter than they should be.

And the second Law opens the hatch to the upper deck, the cold sea air hits you and so does the reality of the night ahead.

The casino is loud. Velvet-lined walls drown out the outside world, while gold lights glint off dice and crystal glasses. Somewhere near the back, a piano plays slow jazz. It’s all soft temptation and sharpened edges.

You walk in beside Law, his arm around your waist. His fingers rest against the small of your back like they belong there, not too tight, not too loose. Just… there.

You can feel the heat of his palm through the silk of your dress. You can feel everything.

Stay focused.

Varrick is waiting in a private corner booth, exactly where intel said he’d be. He’s slouched in the plush seat like he owns the place, surrounded by too many drinks and not enough class. Rings clink against his glass as he lifts it.

“Trafalgar Law!” he says, standing with a grin too wide to be real “Wasn’t expecting you to bring arm candy.”

Law’s arm tightens around you. Not protectively. Possessively.

“She’s more than that,” he says, calm as ever “But she doesn’t like to talk much.”

You smile politely at Varrick, then glance at Law from the corner of your eye.

Smart. That gives you the freedom to observe.

You slide into the booth beside Law, close, but with just enough space between you to keep your focus.

Varrick leans forward “So, you wanted info on that Navy ship?”

Law nods “I heard it was seen heading east out of Ivona Port last week.”

Varrick shrugs, swirling his drink lazily “Could be. Could be west. Hard to say.”

You place your hand lightly on Law’s thigh. Barely a touch. Just enough.

Lie.

Law’s eyes don’t move. His posture doesn’t change. But his fingers tap against the glass in front of him once, acknowledging you.

Varrick chuckles “You know, these Navy guys come and go. They don’t tell me everything.”

Your fingers slide up, brushing over the inside of Law’s wrist as you reach for your own drink.

Another lie.

Law hums “Then tell me what you do know.”

“I know they’re not looking for pirates right now,” Varrick says “Some big job further north. Something to do with weapons.”

Your nails gently press into the back of Law’s hand, slow and deliberate.

Lie.

You feel him tense slightly. Like he’s thinking.

“Do you want something in return for this info?” Law asks coolly.

Varrick grins “Only a little favor later. Nothing serious.”

Even now he's lying.

This time you run your fingers slowly down Law’s forearm, letting your touch linger like a lover’s caress. But it’s all code. All signal.

Law shifts beside you. To anyone watching, it just looks like he’s turning toward you, lips brushing close to your ear.

“You’re sure?” he murmurs.

You nod “Three lies so far.”

“Mm.”

Varrick raises a brow “You two are cute, y’know that? Real cozy. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re actually into each other.”

Law leans in, his lips grazing the edge of your cheek as he speaks “We are.”

Your heart skips.

You almost miss the way Varrick’s mouth twitches at that. A little wrinkle in the corner of his eyes. Something flickers. Jealousy?

“Lucky guy then...” Varrick mutters.

Law’s arm moves from your waist to your lower back, pulling you closer. Not fake this time. Not calculated. His hand is warm, firm, fingers curling possessively.

You’re practically in his lap now.

You keep your eyes on Varrick “So what’s the Navy doing near Blue Rock Island?”

He flinches.

Small. Quick. But you see it.

You drag your hand up Law’s chest like you’re playing with his shirt but your fingers dig in slightly at his collarbone.

That’s the truth. That’s the target.

Law tilts his head slightly, voice low and smooth “Blue Rock, huh?”

Varrick blinks, caught off guard.

You glance at Law just for a second and see it.

His eyes are calm. But his pulse at his neck is faster now. You shouldn’t be this close. He shouldn’t be looking at you like that. You’re supposed to be watching the informant, but now you’re catching the way Law’s lips part ever so slightly when you shift in his lap. The way his breath hitches.

He’s too good at hiding. You never have a baseline for him and suddenly, you realize you do now. You’ve been close enough tonight to read him. Feel him.

So when his ears turn red the moment Varrick leaves the table you finally know what his tell is.

“You’re enjoying this” Law mutters as Varrick disappears into the crowd.

You swirl the last sip of wine in your glass “Enjoying not getting stabbed in a double-cross? Sure.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

You turn your head slowly toward him, lashes low, a smirk threatening at the corner of your mouth “No? Then clarify, Captain.”

His jaw clenches.

You lean in “Or are you upset I figured out your tell?”

Silence.

Got him.

He doesn’t move. Doesn’t look at you. Just sips from his glass like he’s trying not to set it down too hard. You watch his throat bob, slow and tight. He’s flustered. Controlled but clearly struggling to keep that control.

Which is dangerous and tempting.

You reach out, brush something “imaginary” from his collar, letting your fingers drag across the base of his throat. He stiffens just slightly, and you swear under that cool expression, his eyes darken.

“I’m not ready to leave” you say casually, turning away to scan the floor “We did the job. Got the truth. Maybe we deserve a little fun.”

Law doesn’t argue. That alone is suspicious.

So you both stay. You drink. You people-watch. You flirt, just enough to be part of the act. And he plays along, letting his hand rest low on your back, murmuring sarcastic commentary about the drunk nobles and sleazy gamblers, voice low and rough in your ear.

But then Varrick returns.

You’re seated now in a more open lounge, a couch near the roulette tables. Varrick walks up with a drink and a too-easy smile.

“Forgot one little detail,” he says, tone casual “Seems like the Navy isn’t after pirates right now because they’re meeting with one. Some kind of alliance. Dunno who.”

Lie.

You shift against Law and drag your fingers along his inner thigh, too slow to be innocent.

Varrick talks more, and you let your hands wander. One arm over Law’s shoulder, the other toying with the fabric of his jacket. A fingertip gliding along the inked edge of his collarbone. Every time Varrick lies, you punish Law with a new touch.

You want to see how much he can take.

When you trail your hand up to the side of his neck and run your thumb along his jaw, you feel it. That little twitch. A shiver. His hand slides up your waist and grips tight, like a warning.

You lean in, lips brushing his ear.

“He’s lying again.”

Your voice is barely above a breath.

“And you’re pushing it” Law growls, so low only you can hear.

But you just smile and press a kiss to his cheek, slow and lingering “Don’t lose your composure, Captain. Someone might think you’re affected.”

Varrick finally gets bored and excuses himself, clearly thinking he’s dropped enough bait.

The second he’s out of sight, Law stands.

“You come with me. Now.”

You blink “Excuse me?”

He doesn’t even look back. Just starts walking toward the upstairs hall of the casino. Like he already knows you’ll follow.

Which… you do.

Up the stairs, past the velvet curtain, through the dim corridor lined with private doors. He finds an empty suite with a key card left in the slot—probably reserved for VIPs or those with a winning streak.

He opens it.

You step inside, the door clicking shut behind you.

And then he pins you to the wall. Hands at your side, like blocking you. Eyes burning.

“You’re playing a dangerous game,” he says, voice rough “Do you even know what you’re doing?”

You pretend to think “Touching my captain in public? Flirting with a man who’s obviously holding back? Yeah. I know exactly what I’m doing.”

His gaze flickers from your lips to your eyes and back again. His breath is hot against your face.

“Tell me if you want to stop.”

You grab his lapel and pull him down.

“I’ll tell you if you lie.”

For a few long seconds, Law doesn’t move.

His fingers flex on your hips, like he’s debating whether to pull you in or push you away. His eyes are on yours, unreadable to anyone else but you can see it now. The cracks in that cold, calculated shell. The tension. The restraint.

You’ve spent months trying to get a baseline on him. To decode his behavior. Now? You are the baseline.

And he’s struggling.

“I should let you go” he mutters, voice low, more to himself than to you.

“But you won’t” you whisper back.

His eyes drop to your lips “No.”

He steps closer. Your back is fully against the wall now, your breath tangled with his. You tilt your chin up, almost daring him.

“What’s holding you back?” you ask.

His mouth twitches “You.”

A beat.

Then “You’re too good at reading people.”

You grin “So are you.”

His hand slips to the back of your thigh, just under the slit of your dress. Not high, but enough to make your pulse skip “You’ve been testing me all night.”

“Guilty.”

“You think it’s funny watching me lose control?”

“I think it’s hot.”

That does it.

He lets out a quiet, sharp breath, like he’s just given up fighting gravity, and leans in until your foreheads are pressed together. His hand stays on your thigh. His other lands on the wall beside your head.

You whisper, “You’re not usually like this.”

“No,” he says “You bring it out.”

You stay like that for a moment, so close, heat radiating between you, neither of you quite touching where it counts. The tension is unbearable in the best way. It’s not just attraction. It’s months of silence, near-misses, unsaid things finally rising to the surface.

Law is still Law, he's collected and composed, but now you know what it costs him. You feel the restraint humming under his skin like electricity.

You reach up and slide your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. He shivers.

“Stay” he says. It’s not a command. It’s almost… a request.

You nod, slow “I’m not going anywhere.”

He finally steps back, not far, just enough to breathe, and moves to the bed. Sits on the edge, running a hand over his face like he’s trying to reset.

You take the moment to look around. The room is warm-toned, elegant. One massive bed in the center. Silk sheets. Balcony window cracked open to let in the sound of crashing waves and soft jazz from below.

You sit beside him, gently bumping his shoulder “So. What now?”

Law doesn’t look at you “Now, we sleep.”

You raise an eyebrow “You’re going to act like none of that happened?”

“I didn’t say that” he replies, voice quiet.

He leans back, hands braced behind him, eyes finally meeting yours “I’m saying we don’t have to rush it.”

Your heart stutters.

He adds, almost awkwardly, “This isn’t just the mission. Not for me.”

You don’t tease him this time. Instead, you smile, warm and soft.

“Not for me either.”

He pulls off his jacket, tosses it over the chair. Starts unbuttoning his cuffs. You stand and go to the bathroom to remove your heels and freshen up, giving him space, and maybe yourself a moment to breathe.

When you come back, Law’s already under the covers, shirt slightly open, tattooed chest half-visible in the low light. He’s facing the wall.

But when you slip in beside him, he immediately turns over and pulls you in, an arm draped over your waist, forehead pressing into your shoulder like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

The room is quiet now.

The casino noise is a distant hum through the balcony window, soft music, muffled laughter, the whirl of spinning wheels and shuffled cards. But inside, it’s just the sound of two hearts beating faster than they should.

You’re lying on your side, Law behind you, one arm slung around your waist like it belongs there. His hand rests just beneath your ribs, warm and heavy. Not demanding. Just… steady.

The silence stretches. Not awkward, but charged. Comfortable, yet not quite safe.

Your voice cuts through it, soft and curious.

“If we’re just gonna sleep… then why here? Why not go back to the ship?”

You feel him pause behind you. Not tense but thoughtful.

He exhales through his nose “Because.”

“Because?”

His voice drops, rough like he hasn’t decided if he wants to answer honestly “Because if I took you back to the ship, I wouldn’t be able to do this.”

He shifts slowly and pulls you in tighter, chest pressed to your back now. His nose brushes your neck, and his breath sends a shiver down your spine.

You barely manage a whisper “This?”

He hums “Stay close. Let myself… feel something.”

You blink. That wasn’t what you expected.

He continues, quietly “On the ship, I’m your captain. In control. Always thinking. Always five steps ahead.”

You glance over your shoulder, catching the faintest edge of vulnerability in his eyes.

“And here?” you ask.

“Here,” he says, “I get to be a man lying next to someone who makes him forget all of that.”

You don’t answer for a moment.

Then, deliberately, you reach back and trail your fingers down his forearm, slow and gentle.

“Good,” you whisper “Because I like this version of you.”

You feel his smile against your skin.

He doesn’t say anything else. Just tucks his face into your neck like he’s finally allowing himself to breathe.

You shift slightly.

Not much. Just enough to test the space between you.

He doesn’t stop you.

So you turn.

You roll slowly to face him, your knees brushing his under the covers, your chest barely touching his. The low golden light from the hallway filters in through the crack under the door, just enough to catch the edge of his face, his jaw, his eyes, that small crease between his brows.

He’s watching you. Carefully. Quietly.

You speak, low and honest “You’re not the only one who forgets how to breathe around the other.”

His expression flickers. Just a second. But enough for you to see hope, doubt, desire. Then gone again.

You lift your hand to his cheek, gentle.

Then he kisses you.

Hard.

There’s nothing hesitant in it. No more caution, no more reading cues, no more pretend. Just heat, and months of tension finally snapping. His hand slides to the back of your neck, pulling you in deeper.

You kiss him back with everything you’ve been holding in.

Your hands move instinctively, one gripping his shirt, the other slipping around his waist. He shifts, pressing you into the mattress, his knee between yours, his breath shaky against your lips.

When he finally pulls back, just an inch, his forehead rests against yours. Both of you breathing like you’ve just surfaced from underwater.

You whisper, “That didn’t feel like something we’ll forget in the morning.”

Law shakes his head slightly, lips brushing yours.

“It’s not.”

Another beat.

Then you add, teasing, “So much for just sleeping.”

His mouth curves into a tired smile, eyes half-lidded “You started it.”

You laugh soft and warm and tangled in sheets and tension.

And when he pulls you close again, one hand splayed across your lower back, your smile fades into something quieter. Something real.

Because this time, neither of you is pretending.

The next morning, the sun isn’t even fully up when you and Law leave the casino.

No one says anything at first. You walk side by side, close enough that your arms keep brushing, but not close enough to make it obvious.

At least, that’s what you tell yourself.

But the second the Polar Tang comes into view, the nerves hit you like a cannonball.

You’re holding your heels in one hand, the other arm looped awkwardly around your waist to keep Law’s massive coat closed over your dress. Your own shoes were giving you blisters, so somewhere between the casino lobby and the harbor, Law, annoyed and muttering, slipped out of his and made you wear them.

Now here you are, flopping around the deck in his too-big shoes while he walks beside you in his socks, lipstick faintly smudged across the corner of his jaw.

You don’t look at each other. You cannot look at each other.

And then just as your foot slips slightly in one of his clunky boots “Well, well, well… Look who finally decided to come back.”

Shachi.

Leaning on the railing with a bowl of cereal and way too much smugness for six in the morning.

You freeze.

Penguin appears from the stairwell, blinking at you both. His gaze travels from your tousled hair to your crooked dress zipper, to Law’s missing shoes, to your very obvious lipstick on his jaw.

He lets out a slow, exaggerated whistle.

“That,” he says, pointing his spoon between the two of you, “was not part of the mission.”

Law doesn’t even flinch. Just keeps walking, face unreadable except for the ears burning red.

You try to look casual. Like you didn’t just sneak off a casino floor at sunrise “We, uh... we stayed for surveillance reasons.”

Penguin snorts “Yeah, I bet you were surveilling something.”

You shoot him a glare, still wearing Law’s boots “My heel broke.”

“Sure it did. And your lipstick broke too? All over the captain’s face?”

You reach up automatically to touch your lips, and groan when you realize he’s right.

Law growls under his breath “Enough.”

But Shachi’s having too much fun “Man, I thought you’d at least try to sneak back on like it didn’t happen. This is so much better.”

“Do you want to swim today, Shachi?” Law deadpans.

Bepo pops his head out of the hallway “Did you two share a bed? Was it part of the act or did something actually happen? Because you both look like—”

“Bepo.” Law cuts him off like a gunshot.

You turn to face Law, trying so hard not to laugh because the man looks like he wants to teleport to another planet. His hair’s still a little messy. His collar’s open. And he’s got the exact same expression he had when you kissed him: that barely-holding-it-together calm that only you can see cracking.

You mutter under your breath, “We should’ve never come back.”

Law nods “Agreed.”

Then, just when you’re about to make a break for your quarters, Law stops and turns.

He grabs your hand.

The crew goes dead silent.

He lifts your fingers to his lips in one smooth motion. Kisses them.

Soft. Deliberate.

Then walks off with all the calm dignity of a man in socks who’s still the most dangerous person in the room.

Your brain short-circuits. The crew loses their minds.

Penguin lets out a strangled “WHAT—”

Shachi screams “HE’S IN LOVE!!!”

And you’re just standing there, one hand in the air, heart about to burst out of your chest.

You finally bolt down the hallway toward your room, calling back “I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS!!”

Bepo shouts after you, “CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR EMOTIONAL MATURITY!”

You slam your door shut, cheeks on fire, heart racing, and a stupid smile you can’t shake no matter how hard you try.

[wcbblife]

You & Me

a/n: finally finished my pazzi draft yall... hope you enjoy

Warnings: kinda nsfw at the end so read at your own risk.

Summary: Paige can't help but get a little a jealous when she sees Azzi with another man. So, she decides to talk to her.

_

Paige knew it wasn’t her place. It really wasn’t.

But she couldn't suppress the ugly feeling tugging at her heart as she watched Azzi double over in laughter while talking to someone—a freshman—from the men’s team. The way Azzi's fingers lightly caressed his bicep to stop the flow of jokes spilling from his lips. The way he smiled at her, letting his other hand land on top of hers.

It was only when Aubrey nudged her shoulder and whispered, "You’re staring too hard, bro," that Paige finally broke out of her trance.

She knew she shouldn’t storm up to them and separate them with a nasty shove to the guy. She knew she should just sit tight and look pretty while the cameras were likely pointed toward her or the dancers in front of her. The nails on her hands were digging into her arm, no doubt leaving marks. She just couldn't tear her eyes away, no matter how hard she tried.

“What?” Paige cleared her throat, suddenly feeling shy. Her tough exterior would only get her so far with her best friend, who knew her too well.

“I said the three-point contest is about to start.” Aubrey snickered, walking away to join the blue team.

“Shut up,” Paige murmured, following closely behind. By the time she got together with her team, Azzi was lost in the sea of white and dark blue, and Paige had no way of knowing if the man was still close to her. She didn’t get any time to sit and think about it, being whisked around to get ready for the contest.

Almost immediately, she hears the sounds of the net swishing and the basketballs hitting the rims. After a bit, her eyes land on none other than Azzi. She watches closely as Azzi makes shot after shot with little to no problem, much to the amusement of the crowd. The smile on Azzi’s face after releasing the last ball makes Paige swoon, and she glances around, hoping that it would help the blood pooling in her cheeks to dissipate.

The only problem is that she sees Azzi moving back to let the next participant go, the man steps up to her, nudging her shoulder, and leaning down due to their significant height difference to whisper something. Paige knows it's a compliment or something along the lines of “I could never do that,” as she watches Azzi’s dimples just barely show.

The feeling gnaws even harder at Paige, causing her to drum her fingers impatiently against her thighs and her jaw to tighten. She can't help but notice how Azzi never moves away, and how they seem to brush against each other every time they sway side to side while waiting for the contest to finish.

Caroline walks up to them and starts a conversation, which—much to Paige’s relief—causes him to move away a bit. Azzi’s eyes move between the two before finally locking onto Paige, who is still staring. Azzi smiles at something Caroline says, licking her lips and fixing her pants, still zeroed in on Paige. This causes Paige’s heart to thrum uncontrollably in her ribcage, even when Azzi’s eyes go back to Caroline and the guy.

It knocks what little patience and focus Paige had straight out of her body.

“Dude! Seriously, how many times do I have to call you to stop gawking?” Aubrey stands in front of her with an incredulous smile. “Make it at least a bit less obvious, will ya?”

Paige lets out a breathy laugh, scratching her head. “I need to get outta here, bro.”

“Tell me about it,” Aubrey jokes back. “Might just walk right on out.”

“Yeah, right. And let Geno scream at us next practice? No thanks.”

Aubrey chuckles. “Hey, I’m not the one desperate to get outta here for their girl—” Paige cuts her off with a light nudge, causing Aubrey to burst into laughter.

“Stop it, dude.” Paige sulks, looking around for Azzi again, feeling her stomach drop at seeing her absent from her last spot.

“Relax. We’ll be done in a bit.”

Paige knew better. She knew it was in her best interest to heed Azzi’s warning of “don’t be so obvious in public.” She knew she should be on her best behavior with so many eyes on them, acting like they were nothing more than friends.

She also knew she shouldn’t feel so stupidly useless and jealous when Azzi talked to someone else because they weren’t officially a thing. They hadn’t slapped a title on it yet.

Ugh, she thought, as she smiled prettily for the group picture, wrapping a friendly arm around her teammates. Paige made a mental note to bring it up at a better time.

“Alrighty everybody,” a woman in the middle of the court chirped, “We’ve officially ended the first night! Make sure you exit in an orderly manner and we hope to see you next year.” The crowd erupted in a mix of cheers and applause as the athletes started making their way out of the court and into the tunnels.

Paige made a beeline to her locker room, hoping to catch Azzi alone, but once she arrived, she found herself alone. One by one, her teammates trickled into the room—courtesy of Nika texting in their chat to meet there—and it wasn’t until Paige actually got up to search for Azzi that she found herself face-to-face with her.

Azzi was giggling when she entered, and Paige let out a breath of relief. Her hands fidgeted, muscles twitching under her skin to reach forward toward Azzi once she met her big brown eyes, but like she had done all night, she held herself back.

Instead, she walked wordlessly into the team huddle, her breath catching a bit as Azzi slotted herself right next to her, wrapping her hands around Paige’s waist. She tuned out the remainder of Geno’s speech as Azzi found the audacity to toy with the stretch band of her shorts, pulling on it. She slipped a finger into the edge of them, and when Paige looked over at her, she was smiling cheekily.

“Alright, now get out of here. I'm tired,” Geno ended his speech, and the girls screamed. Azzi dragged Paige into the team where they all did a short chant before finally walking out of the room.

Finally, they reached a quieter part of the complex. Azzi pulled Paige into an empty room, away from prying eyes.

As they made their way through the tunnels, Paige’s heart raced. The crowded hallways buzzed, and she tried to keep her cool.

Azzi stayed close, their fingers brushing every now and then, sending shivers down Paige’s spine.

She couldn’t wait to get a moment alone with her.

“Azzi,” Paige muttered.

“Yeah?” Azzi's eyes fluttered, looking up at Paige.

“We gotta talk.”

Azzi smirked, “We do?” she teased, stepping closer, her hand grazing Paige's arm. “What about?”

Paige's breath hitched. “You know what about.”

Azzi chuckled softly, leaning in until her lips were mere inches from Paige’s. “You always get so serious,” she whispered, her breath warm against Paige's skin. “Maybe I like seeing you like this.”

Paige's heart pounded, her resolve weakening by the second. “Azzi, please…”

“Please, what?” Azzi’s voice was low, almost a purr. She backed Paige against the wall, her hands sliding up Paige’s sides, sending shivers down her spine. “Please stop? Or please don’t stop?”

Paige swallowed hard, her mind racing. “We need to figure this out,” she managed to say, though her voice wavered.

Azzi’s eyes softened for a moment before the teasing glint returned. “Okay, let’s figure it out,” she said, her tone playful. “But maybe we start with this.”

Azzi pulled back slightly, her forehead resting against Paige’s. “We’ll talk,” she promised, her voice a soft murmur. “But right now, let’s just enjoy this.”

Before Paige could respond, Azzi closed the distance, capturing Paige’s lips in a slow, tantalizing kiss. Paige's world tilted, the kiss overwhelming her senses completely as she melted into Azzi, her hands finally finding their way to Azzi’s waist, pulling her closer.

Paige nodded, her heart racing almost painfully in her chest. “Yeah,” she whispered, a smile tugging at her lips. “Let’s enjoy this.”

Azzi grinned, her fingers trailing lightly up and down Paige’s arms, knowing the blonde liked it a little too much. “You’re so cute when you’re trying to be serious,” she teased. “I can’t help but want to mess with you a little.”

Paige felt a blush creep up her neck. “Azzi, come on…”

Azzi’s smile widened. “What? I’m just having a bit of fun. You like it, don’t you?” She leaned in, her lips brushing against Paige’s ear. “Admit it.” Her fingers slip under the hem of Paige’s shirt, tracing patterns on her skin.

Paige’s eyes fluttered shut, her head tilting back. “Maybe,” she admitted reluctantly.

Azzi’s laughter was soft and warm. “Thought so.” She moved even closer, her body pressing against Paige’s.

Paige tried to steady her breath. “I didn’t like seeing you with that freshman,” She confessed softly, looking away.

Azzi raised an eyebrow. “Oh, is that what this is about? You were jealous?”

Paige's blush deepened. “Maybe.”

Azzi chuckled, her breath warm against Paige’s neck. “You don’t have to worry about him. He’s just a kid.” Her lips brushed Paige’s ear again. “Besides, I only have eyes for you.”

Paige's heart skipped a beat. “Really?”

“Really,” Azzi whispered, her lips trailing down to Paige’s collarbone. “You’re the one I want, Paige. Always have been.”

Paige’s breath got caught as Azzi’s lips met hers again, more passionately this time. The jealousy, the confusion, it all melted away. This was what she wanted, what she needed. And finally, they were on the same page.

Azzi, feeling the effect she had over Paige, decided to push a little further. “You know,” she murmured against Paige’s lips, “seeing you all worked up was kind of a turn-on.”

Paige’s eyes widened. “Azzi…”

“What?” Azzi’s grin was wicked at this point. “I like knowing no one else can have this kind of effect on you but me.”

Paige’s breath came faster, her pulse pounding in her ears. “You’re unbelievable.”

Azzi’s hand slid lower, making Paige gasp. “Admit it. You love it when I tease you.”

She could barely form words, her thoughts were a mush of everything. “I… I do,” she finally managed, her voice barely a whisper.

"Good girl.”

Paige was helpless to resist, surrendering completely to Azzi. 

[umbrellajam]

Have any Dick & Tim fic recs for us poor unfortunate souls? We’re hungry for brotherisms

I feel you anon, there can never be too many Dick & Tim brotherism fics! 😊 I had a great time wading through my bookmarks to pull some recs (and inevitably lose a bunch of time re-reading things lol), so thanks for the ask!

so I've organized the below first by general time period, then categories like Canon Divergence and Alternate Universe. I've also limited myself to fics that have a clear focus on Dick & Tim as the primary relationship (although some of them include other characters or ensembles).

Hope that you find something new that you enjoy, friend!!

A Thousand Ninjas, by @silverwhittlingknife (100k WIP series) - Silver's fantastic epic that covers the span of Dick and Tim's relationship in preboot canon. Some of the individual works are WIP, others are complete - just read them all, okay, you will not regret

Dick and Tim, through the years: from Lonely Place of Dying, through Tim's Robin years, and beyond Red Robin. "Watch me on the trapeze, Tim. I'm going to do my act - 'specially for you." (B 441) "Who the hell are you?" (NT 60) "Dick Grayson is my brother. My best friend." (R 181) "You're my equal. My closest ally." (RR 1) "I can't see him. You can't see him. But I know Robin. And Robin's always there when you need him." (TT/O Secret Files) "You're my brother. You'll always be there for me." (RR 12) "And then I think... no... it's for Tim. For him, a thousand ninjas is just the start of what I would do." (N 138)

EARLY ROBIN TIM

Brothers Have the Worst Timing, by @havendance (1k) - god I love Tim just popping up randomly to be the most annoying little brother ever, and frankly there's no better time for it than during Nightwing/Huntress, when he can bother both Dick and Helena at once.

Tim crashes Dick and Helena’s ill-advised one-night stand; this is awkward for everyone involved.

A Long Fall with a Sudden Stop, by @eggmacguffin (5.1k) - Interesting and appropriately awful take on fear toxin, with a relatively young Robin!Tim having to manage an incapacitated Dick. Also good Dick & Bruce content.

Dick Grayson was not and never has been afraid of heights. However, there were moments, moments in the wake of tragedy, in the midst of doubt, where he was deathly afraid of falling. — Dick Grayson. Fear Toxin.

Little Brothers and Stupid Ideas, by lazarusfell / @gretahayes (2k) - Tim breaking into Dick's apartment to be a neurotic little dork at him, my beloved.

Dick doesn't think he'll ever get used to his little brother's idiosyncrasies. It's like whenever he thinks the kid can't get any weirder, he decides to just blow Dick out of the water with some new abnormality. It's endearing.

LATE ROBIN TIM

lifeline, by me c: (~700) - just a ficlet, but I'm still fond of it, so. set nebulously post-Infinite Crisis, after both brothers' Really Bad Year.

At a low moment, Dick thinks he needs to catch Tim, and he just - can't. Tim catches him instead.

a soft place to land, by unchosenone / @bitimdrake (3k) - set during the OYL cruise around the world; gorgeous brotherly feels and support and absolutely adopted as personal canon.

Tim rubs the back of his head, trying to affect a joking tone. “I knew I should’ve just gone for the new escrima sticks.” Dick is ready to be a good big brother to his grieving little bro. Tim flips the script.

ribbons just beyond the eye, by silverwhittlingknife (5.9k) - you know how Dick and Tim had their island adventure in NW #143, and afterward they had to swim out several miles to where they parked the Batsub because the remote stopped working, and Dick talked about making a pit stop in Palermo to visit a "great little Italian restaurant that serves a great ciambellone for dessert"? Well, this is what happens when they do, and it's lovely.

Two weeks after their fight over the Lazarus Pits, Dick and Tim go on a trip, and Dick confronts some old memories.

RED ROBIN / BATMAN REBORN (Dick!Bats) ERA

Brothers, by KelpieCodyne (8.5k) - a refreshing and measured look at the divisive events of Red Robin, from Dick’s perspective. bashes no one, hurray!

Bruce is dead, Dick is Batman, and his brother is floundering. In a desperate attempt to save Tim from himself, Dick tries some tough love. It does not go the way he hopes. Or - Red Robin's 'BruceQuest' through the eyes of Dick Grayson.

We've Taken Different Paths, Traveled Different Roads, by Sohotthateveryonedied (2.3k) - brothers 🥺 even in the middle of their Brucequest fight, Tim can show up out of nowhere for a middle-of-the-night pajama party and heartfelt talk.

Dick is suddenly very awake. He bolts upright, staring at the dimly lit figure. “Tim?” “Hi, Dick,” Tim whispers. He isn’t in uniform for once, instead wearing a pair of sweats and a shirt that Dick recognizes as one of Bruce’s. Dick was wondering where that went. “Jesus, kid,” Dick exhales, an uncertain mixture of disbelief and bafflement. “What are you doing here?” Tim and Dick are still in a fight of sorts, or are they? Have they made up yet, or is the terrain still cracked? Dick wants so badly to ask, but just having Tim in the same room as him is already more than Dick could have hoped he’d get.

a conversation at 4:30am, by xscintillate / @scintillyyy (4.6k) - Dick having a nightmare that Tim is dead and checking all of his regular napping spots with increasing paranoia to prove that he's alive, my beloved. such a great look at the brothers, suffused with all of the love they still share post-Brucequest.

dick & tim, post RR#12 because sometimes having a conversation might end up going nowhere, especially if it's one you're not ready for, but it's enough for now

the best of both of us, by @ashynarr (7k) - a lovely pair of conversations between Tim and Dick, working through their conflict in RR and reconnecting after everything.

They used to have a routine, involving shitty take-out, shitty movies, and a bit of shit-talking. Dick wants to restart it, after everything. Tim's not sure if it's that easy. Or: After Harkness' arrest, Dick and Tim have a heart-to-heart. It helps, a little.

there's an endless road to rediscover, by @zahri-melitor (1.2k) - post-RR fic where Dick and Tim skip right to affectionate violence as a gesture of reconciliation, which is so delightfully in-character, tbh.

Sometimes the only way to show that you've moved on and forgiven each other is to take a flying tackle from the ceiling. Dick and Tim know each other's demonstrations of affection. Damian doesn't.

When it Rains, by vellaphoria (5.8k) - an exploration of Tim and Dick's (most recent) experiences with sexual assault, so warnings for past rape. really excellent.

After Cass and Tim return from Paris, something seems... wrong. Dick tries to find out what it is.

nightwing and red robin hit the town (or do they?) by xscintillate / scintillyyy (7.2k) - hilarious reversal of the "Tim is sad Dick never has time to hang out with him because Eldest Daughter Syndrome" trope.

Dick just wants to hang out with Tim on patrol, like old times. It's a shame that everyone else seems to have the same idea. It's fine. Dick'll get him next time.

POST-FLASHPOINT / MODERN ERA

so won't you stay, won't you stay (with me?), by dizarys / @dizaryswrites (1.4k) - beware the ANGST, this one really stomped on my heart 😭 but it's lovely

Dick seized his hands, holding tight. A long moment of silence passed. Tim kept time with Dick’s breathing as it steadily returned to an even pattern. "I'm proud of you for asking for help." His big brother whispered. "But I haven't." "I dunno, TimTam. Breaking into my apartment seems like a cry for help." Tim's having a hard night. So where else does he go but to his big brother's apartment? Whumptober Day 12

go past where our feet could touch, by redboard (Ink) / @upswings (1.5k) - this is such a lovely fic about the brothers having feelings about their long-gone mothers, and Dick seeing himself in Tim and processing things in his own life by being there for him (without sharing his own issues, at least that we see, lol). perfect characterization.

Today Tim was calmer, almost cheerful – as if it was any other Saturday afternoon. But it had also not escaped Dick's notice that Tim had gone on a universe-hopping trip to rescue Bruce, and one of the first things he'd done upon returning was, apparently, unbox a lot of photos of his dead parents. "How was the multiverse?" Dick asked.

WE'RE NOT DEAD (WE WALK)., by orpheusaki / @damianbugs (4.9k) - fantastic whumptober fic. the boys go through it, by god.

Dick is overwhelmed for a moment, filled with clarity and inexplicable confusion as he blinks around him bleary-eyed. There's the familiar itching covering his skin, tiny grains of dark sand invading the cuts that have torn through his suit from the crash. He coughs, throat dry and closing with every gasp of harsh air. The desert is as unforgivable as the last time he was here, an empty expanse of dunes that might just be a trick of the heavy sun against the back of his neck. Dick pushes the panic away behind his eyelids, savoring the darkness before opening his eyes again. Immediately, he sees Tim. Unconscious, hunched over, covered in blood and sand Tim. (Dick and Tim get stranded in the desert, Dick is always moving forward.)

CANON DIVERGENCE

long distance, by unchosenone / bitimdrake (1.7k) - A Red Robin era AU where Bruce is actually dead.

Six months—months—radio silence, and Tim is calling him. Dick doesn’t even know where Tim is. He scrambles for the phone.

Holding the Line, by Birdchild / @birdchildsnest (6.6k) - part 2 of the series and the first part is just as good, but more focused on the Dick&Tim&Damian relationship as a whole. In this, Dick is plagued with nightmares about the people he loves falling, and struggles through the resultant insomnia.

"Dick was used to anxiety dreams, even (or especially) ones about falling and failing to catch people. They weren’t pleasant, but he understood that they were his brain’s way of working through buried fears. The garbage disposal of his subconscious. But these dreams were more like the hyper-vivid nightmares and thrashing night terrors he’d had after his parents’ deaths. And they were constant. Every time he closed his eyes. He didn’t just feel rattled when he woke up; he felt flayed open."   (This will make more sense if you've read "Redrawing the Lines," but it takes place before "Season of Darkness, Season of Light," so you don't need to have read that.)

now the little red lighthouse knew that it was needed, by xscintillate / scintillyyy (22k) - beloved Tim never becomes Robin but shows up in Dick's life and becomes his brother anyway fic of my HEART

"Kid," he says, frustration bleeding through, "I don't know who you think I am, but I can promise you, I don't know anything about any companies. You might want to call the police about this, instead." "No, that's just it," the kid says, "I can't trust the police. I think they're in on it. I think I might get arrested soon. I need—I think I need Nightwing's help." in an alternate universe where jason survives ethiopia--dick and tim still find each other.

this also has a WIP sequel, so the little red lighthouse tried to shine once more, which is equally excellent

well, what would you do if you went back in time?, by xscintillate / scintillyyy (3.5k) - yeah, in retrospect Tim's smug know-it-all tendencies would become exponentially worse if he traveled back in time and actually knew everything, lol. of course he takes the opportunity to be a Pest to both Dick and Bruce c:

tim goes back in time, and prevents certain things--but still makes his appointment at the circus with dick and is kind of a menace (aka: snippets from an au where tim goes back in time and makes it so he doesn't become robin...but he's still just having fun going around and preventing everything he can think of regardless and making sure to bother dick)

the time you won your town the race, by silverwhittlingknife (4.4k) - technically WIP, but absolutely works as a (DEVASTATING) oneshot. It's been well over a year and I still have not recovered tbh.

He doesn’t know exactly what Tim would say. But he knows what Tim would do. Tim dies. Dick doesn’t take death for an answer. A Red Robin 12 AU.

the picture frames have changed and so has your name, by zahri-melitor (24k) - a fix-it it fic for Grant Morrison's 2009 Batman and Robin comic run, which infamously has Dick more-or-less forget that he's supposed to have a close relationship with this alleged "Tim Drake" guy. (Little brother who?)

So, in this fic, Dick literally forgets. Tim notices, and investigates. Also wonderfully highlights Tim's relationships with Helena, Barbara, and the Birds of Prey, and sometimes with Damian.

There’s something wrong with Dick. Tim thought everything was getting back to normal. Bruce was alive and back in their timeline, the Birds of Prey were once again operating out of Gotham, Dick had the city well under control as Batman and even Damian had been less obnoxious than usual. And then during a firefight at a warehouse by the docks, Tim was almost hit by a flying boomerang. And Dick never noticed. When something is wrong with your big brother, who else do you turn to but your big sisters?

Dizzy Edges, by Jojo_Squires / @jojosquires (156k WIP)

A Tim-time-travels-and-interferes-to-make-his-family's-lives-better fic which includes the whole Batfam, but is definitely centered on Dick&Tim and the weird itching dissatisfaction of their missing close relationship from the original timeline - which neither of them can even remember that they're supposed to have.

I leap on my email notifs and stuff new chapters in my mouth as soon as they come out.

Tim Drake didn't quite know what he was agreeing to four years ago, but he tried to make the best of it! Using notes from his past (future?) self, he (somewhat messily) tried to help everyone his other self cared for. Now, it's four years later and he can mostly ignore the second set of memories lying in the back of his brain. It'd be much easier if Dick Grayson would just leave him alone. If Tim believed in destiny he might actually think that the universe cared about what was lost. Dick Grayson has spent the last year feeling like he's veered off course. Something keeps itching at the back of his brain. He's missed some clue. Helena Bertinelli's promised to help him crack down on human trafficking, but Dick thinks her foster kid might actually be more help in that department.

First Priority, by avaya29 / @avayarising (6.8k) - okay so Jason does feature prominently in this one but also he's a hilarious outside observer to Dick&Tim's shenanigans. Also, GLUE TRAP.

As the door opened Tim quickly disabled another three separate electronic sensors in the doorjamb by swiping them with a device that looked a bit like a thumb drive. “Walk where I walk,” he said. He took a big step over the doormat, eyed the floor carefully, then took a careful skipped sidestep to another mat against the right-hand wall, where he removed his shoes. “What the hell?” whispered Jason, still standing in the open doorway. Tim pointed up. There was a net rigged up on the ceiling. “Pressure pads under the carpet.” “I repeat, what the hell? After Tim completely derails Jason's beatdown attempt by asking him for a hug, Jason's first priority is to get this touch-starved kid more cuddles. Tim's first priority is to avoid DIck's traps. Jason learns a lot about his brothers and what happened while he was away, and something about himself too.

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

Patchwork Siblings, by Raberba_girl (40k) - fluff and whump and we also get both Talon!Dick and regular!Dick being big brothers, which is delightful.

Years ago, young Dick Grayson was taken by the Court of Owls and made into a Talon. When Talon is flung into an alternate universe where Dick Grayson was taken in by Bruce Wayne instead, he latches onto the first familiar person he sees. (Or: Little Bat-stalker Tim Drake is understandably alarmed to find that an undead assassin has imprinted on him.)

5+1 Night's at Freddy's, by cowboymater (6.6k WIP) - okay so this is only the first chapter of an expected six, but it's already a wildly interesting and entertaining scenario with great characterization. my kingdom for 5000 AUs where young Dick and Tim are thrown together into Trials and Tribulations out of nowhere for their brotherly meet-cute.

The 5 nights Tim spent at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza with Robin and the 1 he spent with Batman, OR, this would be the coolest thing that happened to him ever if the animatronics were trying to kill them less, OR, the "Batman meets Freddy Fazbear" fic I found hidden under a loose floorboard in Tim Drake's childhood bedroom.

darling boy, by deitybird (335k) - Fuzzy and funny de-aged!Tim shenanigans, with Dick as his primary caretaker but the whole Batfam getting involved. Author pulls what plot, character, and relationship points they like and want to explore from varied canon (post-Crisis, New 52, Rebirth, Infinite Frontier, Batman the Animated Series, etc.) and fanon to build out that 335k of story, and it's a very fun time. Toddler Tim is such a gremlin ♥

His comm crackles to life. “RR’s suit is in a pile on the floor,” Jason says, voice grim. “But no sign of him. Something bad must’ve happened if he ditched it all.” “I wouldn’t say it’s bad, per se,” Dick replies, gazing down at the kid nestled against his chest. Now that he’s looking properly, he can see hints of his little brother in those small features. “But at least I can confidently say that he’s not dead.” Or: Tim gets de-aged to four. Dick takes care of him.

Under a Parent’s Wing, by IzzyMRDB. (39k) - YMMV on whether this will be your cup of tea, as this is an AU where Dick comes into a parental rather than brotherly role for a younger, AU!Tim, who is also autistic and abused. But it’s also delightful, heartfelt, and a thoughtful exploration of the complicated, difficult situation as given.

Also I would, no lie, read hundreds of fics based on the premise of kid!Tim discovering that THE Dick Grayson (aka THE ORIGINAL ROBIN) is coaching gymnastics classes and using his sneaky determined ways to finagle himself into said classes.

When Tim found out that Dick Grayson was a gymnastics instructor in Bludhaven, he quickly signed up. After all, learning gymnastics from The Nightwing himself is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Dick Grayson is more concerned at the obvious signs of child abuse he sees in one of his students. AKA Dick Grayson, as a childcare worker, is a mandated reporter who knows how to recognize child abuse in his students. Tim Drake, after a lifetime of fear and confusion, learns to trust adults.

[thefirstknife]

Bro.....

You know, when they said they'll bring back "one of the most storied locations very briefly" I did think of Saint's grave. Speculated about this with the besties quite a bit as well, that we might go back there for some reason. And now. Yeah.

But my question when I was cooking about this and my question now that Ikora said this remains the same: how? How is that accessible? The grave is in the Infinite Forest. Infinite Forest is on Mercury. Mercury is still in a Darkness anomaly. And the Forest was sealed from the inside. That shit is behind seven proxies.

Obviously we've seen the Infinite Forest gate in the trailer, on Nessus, so I'm assuming the door can be opened from Nessus... somehow? Osiris can probably do it with his cubes or something, but the details of how this will be done and how it will be handled are eating me alive. I'm losing it, but for real this time. I don't have words to describe how much I am compelled.

Anyway, radio message!

Saint-14: Since you found me, I have only doubted who I was once... When Misraaks recounted how his people - their children - feared me... it shook me. Osiris says, that I am Saint-14, my hands raised the wall, I walked with the Pilgrim Guard. How can I be a shadow of the Saint who truly walked this City, when I remember the smells of the streets, and the faces that smile? I met you on Mercury, as I speak to you now. We fought together. I shattered the Vex for centuries, but I lived, where he died. Because we showed the Vex that our fate could not be calculated. Even in simulation, we surprised them, you and I. That, is true. The Conductor claims, I am a man out of time, an approximation of reality. Huh, was I not this already? Hard metal, and brittle memory. Spark, and code, fourteen times over. Only my heart carried through. I know what it means to find myself again. But... The Conductor claims, had Osiris not created the Sundial, had I remained forgotten, Sagira would live still. How could these things be connected? If it is true... I will not take my love from him as well. For it is strong, and he will need it. You would not be afraid. You would know what to do... I am... still trying. But I will find myself again.

He's doing better!!! He's figuring it out!!! I'm assuming now that the main point of conflict for him is the Saint that died. It was never quite clear what happened when we saved Saint; did the timeline diverge at that point or was it always two different timelines? Would the body still be there in the grave if we went there after we saved him? Is there any divergence at all and does it matter?

Because again, the Saint we saved is the same Saint that he's been for most of his life. He clearly remembers meeting us on Mercury which was for him the Dark Age. Before Six Fronts. His story and his legend essentially starts only after meeting us. The Saint that we know exists as he does because we saved his life on Mercury in the Dark Age and gave him the shotgun and he has been trying to live up to this potential ever since. He even quotes it: "I am still trying." He said that in the letter on Perfect Paradox and also when we opened the Forest for him after he was freed. And as I also noted, on week 1, we got a message between Saint and Osiris where they're recalling the exact same memory.

But as I said before, if he has access to any other timeline Saints, there might be differences that the Conductor used to mess with him. I suppose one of those is the Saint that died. And since the shotgun is a paradox, I can't really track it's origin point anywhere. Saint that died had remains of the gun which means that the Saint that died also met us, presumably. But if he'd met us, then he wouldn't have died. Or that's the timeline in which Osiris doesn't make the Sundial and we pick up the shotgun and then with the Sundial we can find the right Saint at the right time and give it to him and then stop him from dying. My brain is dissolving.

Anyway. So. Saint's grave huh. They're killing me with this. I need to think about it for 5 hours or maybe 5 thousand years.

And also the lore page. I assume it's talking about how the Vex Network with its various "denizens" reacted to the Echo.

A fractal cluster of nested realities unfurled like a frond. Two-hundred-and-twenty-odd instances of consciousness reaching in unison. A controlled frenzy of cooperation as the minds within piled Ishtar-branded office furniture to the skies, then lifted one another up to be closer, ones and zeroes stacked perilously, finding swaying purchase with their sensible flats on each other's thin shoulders.

Ishtar scientists!

An irascible trace of a signal sneered at the sincerity of the call but still willed itself to move, reaching up two thin spindles of data in a way that felt somehow familiar.

Asher :) :( T_T

The Great Quiet Thing, the Not-Worm, kept its eyes closed and ignored the call. It was still too soon, it decided. It shivered, the motion forming cascading bubbles of new hypothetical simulations in which it did not shiver. These contradictions soured and burst, scattering nutrients into the network.

What the fuck.

A man in tattered robes, feathers long since worn from his headdress, streaked through the shifting plasmic haze on golden wings, urged on by the tiny starburst at his side. His eyes were furious flame.

Osiris :) And Sagira. :) They're still in the network. Okay! I will just explode.

And of course:

"We need to warn them—" "There's still a chance—" "SAINT—" "Hold on to me—" "I AM OWED THIS—" "Hurry, get Shim—" "There isn't enough of me left—" "TELL ELSIE PRAEDYTH STILL—" "Please, please wait—" "Warn them—" "I have to warn them—"

Welp. We wanted Praedyth to be mentioned. Here he is. I guess I will jump off the cliff now.

Anyway, many thoughts. Genuinely what the fuck is the "Great Quiet Thing" in the Vex Network??? Where is this going. I have so much to think about, brb.

[daisynik7]

OMG I love your party idea it's so cool!! how about "slow down baby" by Christina Aguilar for Eren Yeager 💓💓 one of my favs

Slow Down Baby

Slow down baby and don't act crazy, don't you know you can look all you want but you just can't touch

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x f!reader

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~2.4k

cw: modern-day au, mutual masturbation, voyeurism, implications of cheating, cheating, sex toy use (vibrator), dirty talk, pet names (good girl, princess)

Summary: Your boyfriend Jean is working late again, and you can’t help but be suspicious that there’s something nefarious happening behind your back. Pent up from not seeing him this whole week, you take this alone time to treat yourself to some much-needed self-care. 

Eren Jaeger knows that his friend is cheating on you, and he hates it. You don’t deserve it, not one bit. When Jean asks him to do a favor to try to cover up his infidelity, Eren seriously considers telling you the truth, ultimately deciding against it because of “bro code”. But what happens when he walks in on you taking all your sexual frustrations out on a little toy? Can he really keep his mouth shut?

Author’s Note: Thank you for this request @shepnicolo! Love me some Xtina, great song for the y2k karaoke party! This was a fun one for me, so I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated, thank you for reading everyone! MDNI banner designed by @/cafekitsune. Header image from Pinterest.

“Hey babe. Sorry, but I’m going to be at work late again tonight.” It’s already past nine in the evening when Jean calls you, informing you of this last-minute change of plans.

“Again?” He’s had overtime every day since last week. He’s also been leaving early in the mornings so by the time you wake up, he’s gone. It feels like you’ve barely seen him at all. “How about dinner?”

“Yeah, yeah. I already ate.” There’s shuffling in the background. And maybe it’s just your paranoia, but you swear you hear a woman giggling quietly beside him.

You swallow hard, asking, “Is someone with you?”

“Huh?” His tone shifts, as if you’re asking the most ridiculous question. “What do you mean?”

Immediately regretting it, you rephrase, not wanting to sound accusatory. “I was just wondering if anyone else is working overtime with you. That’s all. Didn’t want you to be lonely there.” The last statement is a lie; you sincerely hope he’s alone and not doing what you’re suspicious of.

He clears his throat nervously. “Oh. Well, yeah, there are a few people here with me, so you have nothing to worry about.” 

Too late for that, you think, listening carefully for any more clues. When you can’t hear anything else, you sigh into the phone. “Okay, sweetie. I’ll see you later then.” You wait for him to respond, but he doesn’t. Quickly, you add, “I love you – ” 

He hangs up before you can get it out completely. 

Jean had been pulling away from you for a while now. It didn’t just start with the overtime. It began over a month ago, when you noticed how glued to the phone he was while the two of you watched TV together. When you asked who he was texting, he answered, “It’s my new coworker. She’s asking some questions about work.” At the time, it didn’t raise any alarms in your head, so you dropped it. Every day, he was immersed to the screen, sometimes excusing himself to take a call outside on your balcony. You resisted every urge, every temptation to eavesdrop on his conversations, look through his text messages, interrogate him further. 

You continue to give him the benefit of the doubt. There’s no way Jean would ever cheat on you. While you haven’t been together for that long, you like to think that you know him well enough to be sure he’s a faithful boyfriend. You don’t even have proof of his infidelity. It would be unfair to accuse him of such atrocities over some silly speculation, right?

Since he’s been in the office late this entire week, the two of you haven’t had sex in what seems like forever. Pent up and frustrated, you take this time to care for yourself, since Jean’s not around to do it. It starts with a serving of your favorite dessert, then a warm bath, soothing the tense muscles in your body. You surround yourself in a comfy robe, brushing your teeth with the full intention of falling asleep as soon as you do the one thing you need to make yourself feel better tonight. 

With all the lights off, except for the dim glow of the lampshade on the nightstand, you snuggle into your bed, untying the robe so it’s splayed beneath you. Inside the drawer, you retrieve your favorite vibrator and a small bottle of lube, pouring a tiny bead on the tip. Spreading your legs wide, you smear it on yourself. Using your free hand, you navigate to your favorite dirty audio, playing it out loud. 

~~~

Eren hates this. Absolutely hates it. 

He’s driving towards your apartment with a set of keys in his pocket and a bouquet of roses sitting in the passenger seat. All because your friend is a piece of shit. 

Eren’s known for a while now that Jean is cheating on you. It started with a not-so-subtle comment in the group chat. My new coworker is fucking hot. That alone disgusted him. Connie, of course, laughed it off. Armin didn’t say anything, probably unsure how to respond at such a statement. It only went downhill from there. 

She’s got the best body omg.

 I’m in trouble now.

This is bad guys lol. 

Don’t tell the girls okay? 

Jean has always rubbed Eren the wrong way, ever since they were kids. But at least he respected him. Now, not so much. Not at all, actually. You don’t deserve this, not one bit. No one does, but especially you. And maybe the reason he can’t completely berate Jean is because Eren’s harboring a secret of his own: He’s head-over-heels for you. 

Of course, he’s never acted on it. Bro code, right? Thou shall not hook up with another bro’s girl, or whatever the unofficial rule is. But what if said bro is acting like a total asshole? And what if this bro would treat you the way you deserve and more? Then what?

It’s because of this stupid code that he finds himself in the most ridiculous, aggravating situation. Earlier in the night, Jean texted the group chat. SOS SOS SOS. Armin and Connie were both busy, so didn’t respond, leaving Eren to answer the cry for help.

Jean explains it quickly through the phone, voice all panicky and guilty. “Dude, I need you to do me the hugest favor right now. I would you owe big time if you could help me out.” Basically, he needs Eren to buy a big bouquet of roses and deliver them to your apartment, where you can see them first thing in the morning. 

“Why?” he asks, irritated by this request.

“I think she’s suspicious. So I need to do something to throw her off the scent,” he explains. Eren can already see the cocky, shit-eating grin on his face. Why is he friends with this douchebag? And why did he agree to do this? He’s complicit in this mess now, not only for keeping his friend’s infidelity a secret, but for helping him continue it. He wants so badly to tell you the truth so you can escape this relationship. At the same time, he’s supposed to have his friend’s back no matter what, even if he is being a massive prick. 

So, he decides to help his buddy out, no matter how much it’s killing him. He meets Jean at an unknown address, most likely his side chick’s place. “Dude, seriously. I owe you one,” he says, patting him on the shoulder.

Eren nods silently, not wanting to speak in case he lets his true feelings slip. Jean hands him the spare keys to your apartment. “Just sneak in and set the flowers on the kitchen counter. She won’t suspect a thing.” It takes all of Eren’s willpower not to punch him in the face, so he quickly turns around to get into his car and drive off. 

It’s almost midnight by the time he arrives to your apartment. Surely, you’re asleep by now, still completely unaware that your bastard boyfriend is cheating on you. Still, he shouldn’t meddle in your relationship, even though he wants what’s best for you, which is not Jean.

He unlocks the door quietly, tip-toeing into the kitchen to set the flowers down, as instructed. He notices your bedroom door is ajar, a faint streak of light coming from the inside, and the undeniable sounds of a man growling expletives like, Come for me, slut. Yeah, give it all to me.

His eyes widen, surprised that you’re still awake, even more so that you’re listening to something like this. Curiosity gets the best of him; he stealthily makes his way beside your door, peering through the tiny opening to get a glimpse of you. 

You’re laid out on the bed, bare and exposed, gripping a vibrator to your pussy. The sight alone is enough to put him into a frenzy. Hearing your soft whimpers from your mouth along with the electric buzz from the toy fluttering on your clit sends him into a trance that he can’t snap out of. Before he can think logically, he’s pushing against the door, making his presence known. 

~~~

“Eren!” You sit up in bed, flinging the toy off to the side, covering yourself with your robe. “What are you doing here?”

He stands before you, a crazed look in his eyes, an obvious bulge protruding from his pants. He stutters, “I’m sorry.”

“What are you doing here?” you repeat, glaring at him. 

His mouth is agape, unable to get the words out. You’re losing patience, watching him struggle to explain why he’s here, inside your home, watching you masturbate. You grab your phone, making sure to exit out of whatever filthy audio that’s still playing, fingers ready to dial your boyfriend’s number when he blurts out, “Jean is cheating on you.”

You freeze on the spot, heart sinking from having your worst fear confirmed. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, staring down at his feet. “I’m so sorry.”

There are no tears in your eyes, surprisingly. Instead, your throat is heavy with emotion as you repeat for a third time, “So, what are you doing here?”

Still avoiding your gaze, he answers, “Jean thought you were catching on to him, so he asked me to bring you flowers to throw you off.” 

You can’t help but laugh, shaking your head. “Unbelievable.” Crossing your arms over your chest, you ask, “How long have you known about it?”

“A few weeks.” He looks up at you, saying your name this time. “I’m sorry you had to find out like this.”

After a deep breath, you sigh, relaxing against the headboard. “I’m sorry you’re involved in it.” You smile at him. “And I’m sorry you had to see me…you know.” Embarrassment catches up to you, heat rushing into your cheeks, aware that you’ve just been caught touching yourself with your vibrator, which is still in plain view beside you. 

He steps forward, inching closer towards the end of the bed. “Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. Jean is a fucking asshole. You don’t deserve this.”

“What do I deserve, Eren?” You peer at him, tears welling in your eyes now, desperate for any ounce of comfort he can give to you in this moment. 

He sits near you on the edge of the bed, keeping his distance. “You deserve to be loved by someone who’s always going to treat you right. Someone who’s going to love you from head to toe.” 

“Someone like you?”

A gentle smile forms on his face. “Yeah. Someone like me.”

No matter how badly you want to close the distance between you, want to feel the love he says he can give to you, guilt holds you back. Sensing your hesitation, he scooches nearer. “Let me help you. Tell me what you want.”

Eren has always been sweet to you. Too sweet, in fact. You’ve always gotten the sense that he cares more for you than he lets on. And maybe it’s because you’re hurt right now, fragile, heartbroken, even a little scornful towards Jean. Whatever it is, it makes you realize you’ve been too busy with the wrong man to notice the right one has been here all along. However, two wrongs don’t make a right. Even with the confirmation of Jean’s adulterous behavior, you’re still his girlfriend until you officially end it, which will be soon. 

In the meantime, you manage to come up with something you can do to take advantage of this moment. 

You let go of your robe, letting it fall to your sides, displaying your nude body to him, arousal wet between your legs from earlier. He watches you carefully, cock straining against his sweatpants, breathing heavily.

“I’m not a cheater like Jean,” you mutter, spreading yourself wider, showing off your glistening cunt.

“I know you’re not,” he whispers, scooting forward, hand drifting to his lap.

Reaching for your vibrator, maintaining your gaze on him, you say, “I’m a good girl.” 

He swallows hard, palming his erection through the fabric. “Fuck. You’re a good girl. Such a good girl.”

“You can look, but you can’t touch. Understand?” Your finger hovers over the button, tip pressed to your throbbing clit.  

He nods erratically, licking his lips. “Yes.”

“Good,” you smirk, turning the toy on, ready to give him a show. “Tell me all the things you want to do to me.”

He shoves his boxers down, cock sprung stiff against his abdomen, the slit shiny with precum, veins bulging on his shaft. It’s the prettiest cock you’ve ever seen, better than what’s-his-face by a longshot, though you might be biased now, given the circumstances. Eren wraps his fist around it, jerking himself off while he watches you tease the tip on your swollen bud. “I want to fuck you into this mattress,” he moans. “Pound this pussy until we break the bed.”

“Yeah?” you purr, pressing the fluttering tip deeper into your clit. “What else?”

“Want to bounce you on this cock, watch you cream all over me,” he huffs, stroking himself faster. “God, this is hot. So fucking hot.”

Pleasure ripples through your body, toes curled from the sensation, so close to your climax with his soothing voice spitting his nasty fantasies at you. “I wish you could fuck me right now,” you confess, limbs quivering from ecstasy, pussy fluttering around nothing, aching to be filled. 

“Me too, princess. Me too. But you’re a good girl. And good girls don’t cheat.” He readjusts himself onto the bed, kneeling in front of you, stroking his hard dick. “I can give you this cum, though. That’s not cheating, right?”

You blindly agree with him, approaching your climax. “Yeah, give it to me. Give it to me, Eren.”

He swears loudly, shooting his load onto you, spilling over your clit, dripping down your pussy. “Fuck,” he groans, marveling at how pretty you look covered in his seed. 

You smile at him, relaxing against your pillows, dipping the tip of your vibrator in his mess. His mouth hangs open, eyes half lidded, watching as you stuff it inside your cunt. 

“Holy fuck,” he whispers, stroking his cock again, eyes fixated on your pussy. 

Do technicalities even matter anymore? All you know is that you want to be loved from head to toe by Eren Jaeger. You set aside the toy, sitting up to close the gap between you, pressing your lips to his. He hesitates before deepening the kiss, tongue slipping inside your mouth, sloppy and eager for more.

When you break apart to catch your breaths, he leans his forehead against yours, whispering, “Are you going to be a bad girl now and take this cock?”

Grinning, you nod, pulling him in for another kiss. 

[crepes-suzette-373]

There is a panel that I didn't bring up in my "Ichiji's thuggish language" analysis because I had doubts about it. But with Kizaru's dramatic speech in the newest chapter (1124), I'm feeling a bit more confident about my analysis so I'm just gonna mention this now.

(still a bit nervous about jumping the gun, but hey, my theories are just for fun)

Sanji's bros don't really talk often enough, but the impression I'm getting is that for the most part Ichiji is the only one who does not use slang/informal language.

There's two times where he says words that sounds rough/informal/not polite. One is when they all got caught in candy (see the linked analysis above), and the other one is this:

The way he says "I've got to go (to my brother's wedding)" is 行かなきゃ. This is very casual/informal. The more polite form should be 行かないと or 行かなければ (the latter is the more formal one).

Originally I had wondered if maybe I was wrong, and this means that his rough talk is not a big deal after all. But the latest chapter reminded me of the trope of "someone who has been putting on an act gets provoked into anger so strongly that it breaks the mask and their real self comes out".

I'll go back to Kizaru in a bit, but following that line of thought, then this might mean that Ichiji is genuinely so angry that his fake polite attitude dropped, just like what happened in the candy scene. In that case, he's not just intimidating the guy. He really meant it when he said that he needs to go to the wedding and this fight holding him up is upsetting him.

Following that, if being held up makes him that angry, it possibly implies that when he says this ⤵️ he wasn't being sarcastic, but he might have actually meant it too:

Why, though? That remains to be seen, but there's strong suggestion that really weird stuff is happening here. (More exhibit of weird stuff in my list, scroll down to the Germa specific stuff)

Hiding this just in case of spoilers/you're not caught up yet.

So in chapter 1124, Akainu calls up the Marines at Egghead and Kizaru picks up because everyone else are still downed by haki. Akainu accused Kizaru of slacking, and Kizaru exploded. Having to obey the higher ups' orders to get rid of Vegapunk had really hurt him.

Kizaru was using his typical casual/somewhat playful manner of talking at first. Dragging out the end of the words (imagine something like "you knooooowww") and using omae-san お前さん (informal) to say "you". But then the way he talks changes. He drops the dragging words, and switched to using temee てめェ (super rude) as "you" as he went ballistic on Akainu.

Also, the translation seems to go for a more polite term, but Kizaru calls Akainu kusogaki クソガキ. It's probably more precisely "shitty brat". He really got mad.

Anyway, Kizaru has already dropped the dragging tone a few other times when he gets serious. This gives me the impression that Kizaru's "cheery" act was fake. This laid back unserious goof act is the typical trope of someone who is actually dissatisfied with life, but adopts this personality because they see no possibility of changing, so they might as well just go with the flow. I see this pretty often in manga or games.

He was already like this when he first met Vegapunk (as shown in the flashbacks), so it's very likely that he's already given up for a long time.

I have no proof of that though, so for now at the very least we know that his friendship with Vegapunk is genuine and he was faking a lot of his behaviour during Egghead.

So, is Ichiji hiding something else? Without any additional info, all that's "provable" with the above panels is that Ichiji is actually more aggressive than he lets on, but has to pretend to be polite because of his status. There's other little gestures that do give off the impression that he's hiding something else, but there's nothing clear yet.

With other superficial similarities with Kizaru (constantly wearing sunglasses + light/laser beam attacks) added on top, the parallel is kind of intriguing to ponder.

[elainsgirl]

It must be SOOO disappointing to be a Gwynriel. When you are an Elucien, you get credit from the books where E and L at least have some intertwined plot and interactions + Lucien time to time gets mentioned in the articles

But GAs 🤣 Like, they don’t get anything:

1. Articles don’t mention them. Not do they with GA. Only one Gwynriel or smth article said “or maybe he’ll end up with Gwyn”, but, mind you, the same author had to edit it because of the WOMB argument 💀

It says a lot about that person and her words automatically lose any value. Or how Gwyn wasn’t even mentioned as a single possible love interest. Sorry, but the “unconventional theories” and “Gwyn or another LI” sounded similarly to Gwyn or Eris. Because even Bryceriels got a separate mention lol, despite the fact that GAs were here for much longer. To wrap it up, Spotify and other companies don’t interact with them or even acknowledge

2. No merch. Cards or those color-in pages, it’s about Elriel. GAs mentioned some “licensed” merch (which was a card), but, really? Some art getting printed? Not to understate, however, it happens to be that even the Amazon-like market in my country sells such thing. And it’s like a huge place. Trust me, I doubt they asked for a permission. It goes from like Elriel to Azris arts

3. No scenes. They are always “READ THE BC”. Bro, f/ck off. I don’t want to go to some website, to zoom in and read pages crookedly scanned. Or have to go to wherever else to do this. I read Ana Huang and, at least, she mentions the existence of the BCs and has links on her site (just saying that it’s easier; nothing against SJM)

It’s just annoying to hear about the bonus chapter and how “small breadcrumbs” are big and fat phrase “smithing sparkled in his chest”

I’d say that I feel sorry for the hardcore Reddit shippers, but you get what you deserve 🦦

The thing with elucien is - at least there is a bond, something tying elain & lucien together. Its not possible for them to never interact again which gives eluciens some leg to stand on, right? Even though its shaky and gets weaker by each book, its still a foundation.

Gwynriel dont have that. There is nothing tying them together in the books. Acotar 5 can come along, Rhys says to Az “hey man I need you more focusd on spying then training the girls, Cass and maybe Mor can do that” thats it for any gwyn and az interactions. Az comes back living w feysand or in the townhouse. Him & Gwyn dont ever have to interact ever again *unless* Gwyn received the necklace which rn is an assumption as it wasn’t confirmed.

the few articles that do mention GA are never serious. The womb article was a mess but showed the truth about gwynriel. The other articles mention Gwyn as a hypothetical, potential Li. Gwynriels were lumped in w brycerials & Azris which is rlly insulting for the crows that claims gwynriel have sooooo much foreshadowing, parallels and were so obvious in acosf. As far as I’m aware, no company has acknowledged/interacted with them….again it’s embarrassing for thoses stans because they have always used their popularity in the fandom as a card against elriel yet…no one from the outside is talking to them.

you can get art licensed- its not too much of a hassle nor is it proof of anything. Didn’t the card company work partly w a team that was representing Mass, the fact even they (an unbiased outsider) paired all the brothers w the sisters instead of all the mates together shows how clear & obvious the direction of the series has always been & who the focus is on.

for a ship thats supposedly next, they barely have any good, romantic coded scenes together & most importantly neither main character of acosf, pair gwyn and az together. Nessian don’t think about gwynriel, whereas in comparison they are thinking snd connecting lines between elriel.

Lmfao same, the bonus isn’t easily accessible for me and im not going through the hassle to read something that does not affect the books aside from confirming what I already gathered from acosf. The fact Gwynriels *need* to have the bonus shows how weak the ship is in acosf itself. Which honestly speaks volumes.

I don’t feel sorry for any of them. In fact this can be a great learning experience for them & thats what they need the most.

[worldfianna]

Severance Theory

(Anotha one thank yew)

Buckle down and be patient with me because this is going to be the biggest reach of a theory anyone can possibly have mustered up, luckily it's not as stupid as miss huang being mark and gemma's daughter, but it still has some considerable holes. BE NICE, be patient, and feel free to argue otherwise AMICABLY. okay enjoy guys because i seriously started doubting myself when i got to the end of writing this. I was like "wow I'm actually crazy" but this show is crazier so.

Okay so maybe this is so so obvious, but i need to get it out there in case nobody else kind of thought about this either. So i finally convinced one of my friends to watch severance, so she came round mine and we got up to episode 3, and we got to petey. Now, petey has reintegration sickness right? So bad that it essentially kills him, but he also just disappears from work, he can't have resigned because otherwise he would've gone through the whole "goodbye" process of it, he didn't get fired, and cobel says he's still missing and they're actively searching for him, she believes he's been reintegrated and the board is like "oh no no no girl". I'm outlining all the holes in this theory before anyone else can. But I'm wondering if perhaps on the off-chance that the procedure COULD'VE gone wrong and that workers still have some memories from their job, they built in some kind of mechanism in the severance device that causes pain and eventual death? Petey is under the impression that people are after him, and i could be wrong but i don't remember Asal mentioning any post reintegration pain (forgive me if she did and disregard this entire theory) I'm thinking maybe petey began showing visual signs of reintegration, so much so that they activated the pain mechanism, to prevent any information about Lumon being brought to the outside. It's definitely clear that the severance procedure wasn't invented just so that your life is your free-time and you never have to worry about work again, they clearly want whatever is happening at Lumon to remain a secret, but need to disguise it as something else. Any information that gets out could be detrimental to their end goal so they need to eradicate any possibility that this could happen. I think they knew that Petey knew something - i mean, he doesn't show up one time and they say he's not with the company anymore instead of assuming he was like bed ridden or in hospital and wasn't able to call in sick. That's assuming this takes place on a monday, why would they contact him on the weekend? So that means the last time anyone will have seen him was friday. They must know that he knows. And i think the board knows that he knows something, but they have it under control because of the possible pain feature. When it get's really bad he can't tell what's real and what's not, making him appear crazy, giving lumon some plausible deniability. I feel like I've worded this theory terribily

In a nutshell.

Outside:

Lumon made severance device chip thing > device chip has pain inducing feature > pain inducing feature can cause death > pain inducing feature causes petey's death

Inside:

"Petey's not with company anymore" > bro missed 10 minutes of work > not fired? > not resigned? > they're looking for petey > why? > why look for petey if you think he's not a threat > threat to lumon > lumon knows petey's onto something > lumon knows reintegration is possible but lie about it > shows that authoritative figures like cobel don't actually know the full plan of what lumon is trying to accomplish > everyone is freaked > the eagans are cray

Does that make sense??

Also why would cobel theorise he was reintegrated if he missed one day of work. HE HAD TO BE SHOWING SIGNS.

I do genuinely believe irving reintegrated as well and that the paint/ black goop situation was similar to when mark saw helena as gemma in the tent in season 2. But I've written enough.

[talenlee]

Finding Pokemon That Wear Pants

Pokemon are lil guys. They are in many cases, just lil guys. But there are some Pokemon that exist further on the continuum of ‘a weird lil guy’ than other Pokemon. I’ve said in the past that if you found out your server at a fast food store was a Lucario, your reaction wouldn’t be ‘oh gross there’s an animal back there’ but ‘oh hi there lil guy.’

One of the traits of a lil guy versus an animal, though, is that lil guys do things in human ways – tool use, language, cultural practice, but most importantly of course, is wearing pants. Pants are how you represent a character as having some engagement with a greater society at large, which is pretty weird when you consider the nature of pants being gendered. Yes, it is a way in which we accept the Pokemon as being individuals in society, in that they buy into a gendered form of clothing. Wait, where was I?

Clothes! Clothes clothes clothes, fashion, style, these are important things for the identity of Pokemon. After all, Meowth engages in fashion, you Philistine, and Team Rocket’s Meowth is very high on the Lil Guy O Meter. If we assume a Pokemon needs to wear pants to ascend up into Lil Guy Status, then there’s surely a list of ways to investigate that, thanks to the Bulbapedia page of Costumed Pokemon.

(By this metric, Donald Duck isn’t a lil guy.)

Some Pokemon wear ‘stuff’ as part of their normal look. Particularly, Machoke wears a belt and what looks like booty shorts, which is fun because Machoke and Machamp have no gender dimorphism, which suggests that this beast has enough of a sense of modesty to not want something on their crotch exposed, but for all of the Maches, it’s tits out. Similarly, Mandibuzz has a bone in its … hair? Which is either a really weird thing for it to grow naturally or it’s an expression of some kind of aesthetic. Cubone and Marowak wear a skull, according to their pokedex entries (but the skulls of WHOM, we’re never clear on). And what’s more, there are, no doubt, a lot of Pokemon who wear pants in fanart — and whatever’s going on with Lucario is no doubt going to get edited by enthusiastic artists.

(Considering a regional variant of Lucario that has side pockets turning their thighs-that-look-like-shorts into cargos.)

Here is where we find ourselves with a problem about the assumptions of clothes-ness. The assumption for this sake is that unless we see some indication otherwise that the Pokemon’s component elements can be removed or changed, it doesn’t really ‘count’ as clothes because we can’t, for sure, say that it’s not just part of their body. Both Smeargle and Slowking look like they’re wearing hats but we know one of them it’s explicitly a symbiote and the other, we have no reason to believe it’s not part of its body.

Do we have any place where Pokemon wear clothes that are explicitly and obviously actually clothes, not standardised as part of the Pokemon’s design? Well, there’s a few obvious examples, in the form of the cosplay Pikachus from Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire that lets Pikachu take on the form of things like a Luchador or a Rock Star. Pikachu can wear one of a number of hats, as well, and of course, transition her gender. Which is an odd thing to say, but that is literally what it looks like it’s doing. Continuing away from the Pikachu Privilege space, Pokemon Go brings us the Event Pokemon, which includes Squirtles wearing sunglasses, Pikachus wearing hats (god damnit, there they are again), and honestly pretty cute things like Blisseys in flower crowns, but nobody wearing pants. Jigglypuff, Pichu and Pikachu in Smash Bros don some headgear – caps and bandannas and crowns and bows, those are all accessorising. If we’re looking for signs of a Pokemon wearing pants, so far, all thse avenues leave us stuck looking at only Pikachu, and largely, it’s when Pikachu is doing some kind of a costume.

But hang on, what about skirts? The discerning person’s pant? Well, turns out that a whole range of Pokemon wear skirts in the anime! Serena has a Braxien that wears a skirt, and Dawn’s pokemon don skirts not just once, but thrice – and they’re different skirts!

Skirts, clearly, are more important than pants. After all, Pikachu has worn basically one kind of pants, so far and Buneary has worn an ice dancer skirt, a cheerleader skirt, and a maid skirt, which means that Buneary is three times the man Pikachu can be.

Still, the ever expanding leviathan of Pokemon is relentless and in its growth it eventually picked up a MOBA game, which… exists. Pokemon Unite is a game that allows players to buy skins that put ‘holographic’ clothes on their Pokemon, which I find a particularly novel idea because on the one hand, hey, clothes, on the other hand: why are they holograms. The fact they’re holographic clothes kind of underscores the idea that yeah, okay, sure, we’ll put these things in clothes but they’re not going to be clothes clothes. And they’re honestly, pretty sick! They look cool, and they really ramp up the lil guyness of the Pokemon wearing them!

Mostly though?

They don’t add pants.

Obviously at this point I am down a rabbit hole. I started looking into Pokemon clothes because it was interesting and then that led me to ‘pants’ because I thought that Donald Duck joke upstream was pretty good and that then led me here, and now I’m finding myself wondering just why pants are so rare in these kind of character designs. Across all the Pokemon Unite hologram outfits, I tracked about seventy five that I think count as wearing something like ‘pants’ or a skirt. There are some challenging judgement calls here, though; Blissey, Delphox, Hoopa and Tsareena are all built like their design incorporates a skirt, and their outfits don’t change that skirt design, either putting something above or below that, and I don’t know how to make that judgment call.

There are some truly unhinged choices in these designs, though. Originally this started out as a joke to make a sort of spreadsheet of the kinds of things that you can do with a Pokemon’s design but buckle up because now we’re dealing with something truly crackers. I want you to see these things. I want you, the majority of the people in the world who have not and never will play Pokemon Unite that read this blog, to see the way they decided to implement some of these outfits.

Over 378 costumes, about 73 of them introduce something like pants or a skirt to the Pokemon in question. Of those outfits, there are some truly amazing choices, like Absol asking and answering the question ‘if an Absol wore shorts, it would wear them like this.”

Where Pokemon with ‘skirts’ don’t change them with clothes, amazingly, Lucario and Cinderace, who look like they’re wearing shorts, add on extra elements that integrate those shorts, but also have costumes that change the shorts into other kinds of shorts. Which means that this outfit – well, okay, it’s a hologram we know how the outfit does it, but this outfit is basically painting their legs to fit a different aesthetic. Which I guess makes Cinderace a homestuck?

Special shout out here to Greedent, where taking a shirt and applying it to a pokemon that has otherwise entirely benign design of chest fur, somehow makes that fur look like some truly uncontrolled pubes.

I did also find that there’s a point where Mr Mime in Pokemon Unite can wear one outfit that adds shorts, which is somehow more perverse than not wearing them at all.

Alright, what does this tell us?

Absolutely nothing

But in the process I got to show you this picture of a Slowbro wearing gardening clothes, and the Mamoswine sticking its teeth through its hoodie sleeves made for them.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[proxylynn]

Let's talk about the hullabaloo with the new HelluvaBoss episode.

[I am loving the discourse going on in the fandom about the new episode and gender fuckery...or so some are going off about.

I'll mention this one because it's hardly a thing. Andrealphus is gay. No biggie. Some are being weird saying him calling his sister hot is a sign he's not gay, but...Have they never had a sibling do this? "Looking good, sis!" "Bro, you're looking sharp today." I'm also gonna nip this in the butt, no, complimenting your sibling doesn't imply incest, not everything is Game of Thrones. But let's look at the context of when Andrealphus says this. He "compliments" Stella when annoyed and when tries to sway her. She's not bright. He knows this. This is why he says she's lucky she's attractive because he's insinuating it's all she's useful as. A pretty face. Because even his sister is a pawn for his own goals, that should be obvious by now since he's willing to play Octavia (his niece) as a means to an end in his goal for power. This has nothing to do with his sexuality. It never was. He's just a condescending manipulative prick.

Now with that out of the way, onto the main point of contention. Let's talk about Mammon and the confusion that's going on with him being Ace yet making a pass at Leviathan. HE'S STILL FUCKING ACE! I'm Ace. I'm married. I love my husband. Does this mean I'm not Ace? NO! Because Ace is a fucking spectrum and not a clear-cut label that means you are this and this only! Even the most basic definition of Ace is "experience little to no sexual attraction to others". Notice how it says "little to no" and not outright saying no? Yeah, because Aces can still feel shit! A simple Google search isn't so hard to do.

Spectrum: Asexuality exists on a spectrum, and people may experience no, little, or conditional sexual attraction. 

Identity: Asexuality is a sexual orientation and identity, not a medical condition. 

Romantic attraction: Asexual people may still experience romantic attraction. Many asexual people identify as aromantic, meaning they don't experience romantic attraction. 

Celibacy: Asexuality is different from celibacy, which is the choice to not engage in sexual behaviors. 

Health: Asexuality is valid, and many healthy people identify as asexual. 

Some other terms related to asexuality include:

Allosexual: The opposite of asexual, referring to people who experience sexual attraction

Gray asexual: Also called graysexual or gray ace, this term refers to people who fall somewhere between asexuality and allosexuality

Demisexual: People who only experience sexual attraction after forming a close emotional bond with someone

Mammon can still be Ace and flirt. It doesn't make him any less Ace. I'll even take this further. Let's think of this within the context of what we know of Mammon in the episodes connected to him. He had Fizzarolli as his star and needed robotic know-how to not only fix him but also produce the Fizzies. What Sin has this knowledge? Ozzie. As the greedy manipulative businessman he is, he likely schmoozed Ozzie to get on his good side and made it easier to dig his grubby hands into any deal he could sneak out of Ozzie (something he had to work hard to do given how much Ozzie hates Mamms today). Now let's look at things now. Fizzie isn't his star anymore. The Glam Sisters are. And they are very obviously from the Evny Ring. And who runs the Envy Ring? That's right, it's our girls', Leviathan. Now knowing this, doesn't it make sense for him to make a move on them? YES! And it was working too! The lighter head was so digging his rizz (let's be real, Aces just have high charm stats which is why so many want to bang them...Looking at you Alastor simps, I feel you) but the dark head ain't vibing and moved them away. I think he still has a shot of scoring some sort of arrangement that he will no doubt worm into being massively leaning toward his benefits. He does seem to be spreading his influence into all the Rings and he has no issues taking resources in the pursuit of profit. He is doing what his instincts tell him to do to gain the system in his favor and his alone. Look at how he managed to dick over Lucifer, Mammon won the court case to rip off a Pride Ring exclusive thing. He can and will fuck over other Sins/nobles/and royals to get what he wants. This man is a bloody legend with balls of steel!

So yeah. This was my long somewhat rant on why this is ridiculous. Thank you for reading and have a good day/night.]

[terr1ble-lie]

Mind reader

i usually post on wattpad and use tumblr for reading or speaking my mind, so sorry my followers who just see this

Patrick Bateman x fem!reader

WARNINGS: smut/NSFW, dubcon, degredation, forced proximity. the mains ones, if you think i should add any more let me know <3

you and bro are trapped in a elevator/lift together. you hate him, he hates you. but he always knows how to pass the time.

(It’s been to long since I’ve seen this movie, so bare with. read through once or twice but there probs still a few mistakes)

You and Patrick Bateman had never gotten along. You were all he hated in a woman. Strong minded, opinionated, *a human being opposed to an object*. Good thing for him, you hated him just as much. Objectively at least. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t get something out of his controlling and rude nature. Though you’d never admit that to yourself. It’s everything you stand against. But that was half of the appeal…

Much to your utter disgust, and no doubt his own, you two were stuck in an elevator together. It had stopped working between floors. And you two would be in here for at least an hour. Or so the mechanic on the emergency call told you.

“Just my damn luck..”

You annoyedly mumbled to yourself. Running your fingers through your hair.

“You read my mind”

the words uttered from his pampered mouth held no emotion whatsoever. It wasn’t a surprise.

“I can’t think of anything I’d want less in all fairness. Reading your mind would no doubt drive me to jump until the damn lift drops”

*here we go again…*

“The fact that you 're even considering that means you’ve thought about it at least once.”

He sounded smug, like catching you in a lie. Though you didn’t let it show how much such a small comment got on your nerves

“It’s not like there’s much to think about when we are trapped together in such a small space” 

You grumbled. mind spiralling to try and distract you from your current circumstances though it wasn't much of a distracting, judging by the fact your eyes locked straight onto him. A hungry gaze masked by judgement wandered over to his slightly taller, and a lot broader, body. You were stood leaning against the closed door. He was standing straight on the other side, no more than 3 ft between the two of you. Of course this was a perfect opportunity to check him out, not like he’d get anything but an unnecessary ego boost from it.

Your eyes dragged over him from head to toe. Lingering on the way his tailored slacks tighten over his toned thighs. You wondered how much the man could lift. But the thought was soon pushed from your mind as your eyes landed on another part the pants strained against. 

letting your gaze stay in his bulge for longer than you were willing to admit to yourself. You felt like the type of people you so despised. Checking others out as if they were a freshly cooked steak. You took your self disgust as a cue to avert your ever-more interested eyes.

But that glance was all you needed for your mind to spin.

Sadly, said glance was also all he needed too.

“You’re as a subtle as a brick”

He broke the silence. Your face immediately flushing, albeit subtly. Ironic.

“Don’t pretend I haven’t caught you getting more than an eyeful of all the women in this office. They should put you on a damn leash” 

she retorted. Shifting in her stance to cross one ankle over the other as her back arched off the door in return. Your poor shirt straining against your full chest at the movement. The small gaps in the fabric give a clear enough view to see the ash grey bra you wore. This time it was the bateman's hungry eyes drinking in the sight.

“Dressing for comfort over appearances? Maybe you're not as much of a slut as I thought”

You scoffed at his comment. Running her hand through her hair once more before responding, reluctantly.

“Proving my damn point”

“I never said I didn’t. Keep up.”

You felt your fists clench in self restraint as he continued nonchalantly insulting you. One of the many reasons you fantasised about the man begging for mercy from you. In any and all ways. Who could blame you though, right?

Entertaining him with a response would both add to your annoyance and his smugness, so you decided against it. The fact he continued shouldn’t have been a surprise. And this time he took a step closer.

“You should wear lace tomorrow. Black, balconette style. Easier on the eyes”

He quips. It did nothing but make your damn blood boil. you were always quick to react.

“Do you ever shut the fuck up?”

The scoff scoff drew a twitch from his eye. It was barely noticeable but enough to make her feel proud for getting a reaction.

“I was thinking the same about you. Although I’m sure it would be easy enough to make you”

“What do you m-“

You were cut off by a strong hand lacing in your hair and tugging you to the side sharply. Your head kept to the left, the side of your neck exposed. And  much to your surprise, the movement drew a involuntary whimper from her throat

“hmm.”

he took another step closer so his body kept you cornered against the door of the lift. His grip tightening in your hair and pulling you down further. your hands darting up the grab his wrist in a feeble attempt to get away from him

“Get your damn hands off you me you sick bastard-“

you were once again cut off. His free hand strikes you hard across the face and draws another, more pained whimper from her. A grimace formed on your lips as the sting flooded the sensitive flesh of your cheek. And you glared up at him. 

He showed nothing. Not even a smirk. And despite it all, the dreaded ache of arousal coiled in the dip of your pelvis in a way you've never felt before. 

Your breath was heavier, hotter. And then he finally chuckled. It was mocking with nothing real behind it. More a show of dominance than anything else.

“This will pass time I guess. Kneel, whore”

You whined in response to his venom laced words. Shaking your head as much as you could with his grip still in your hair, as strong as it was. To nobody’s amazement, this didn’t sit well with the man.

He wrapped a leg to coil around yours before giving you a sharp jab in the back of the knee with his heel. Taking a swift step back to give you enough room to fall to your knees. His hand never leaves your hair for even a second.

“I can see it in your eyes. Dont lie to me.”

Before your protests could leave your mind, he’d already unzipped and unbuttoned his slacks. Freeing his almost concerningly hard erection. He really was getting off on forcing this out of you. And to your disgust, you were too.

Without a second thought you presented your open mouth for fucking. Your rational thought now completely clouded by arousal and you accepted this was in fact  happening. And he accepted the invitation with open arms, and legs. Invading your mouth with his painfully large cock. 

You gagged, the result of his negligent speed of thrusting into your mouth and instantly hitting the back of your throat. 

the feeling of your throat tightening around him in attempts to purge him of your insides was almost euphoric. Expressing his pleasure in an almost inaudible grunt. 

He used his grip on your locks to guide your head to meet his thrusts. Beginning to fuck your face as if you were nothing but a toy to him. And it suited you. That was all you were to the tall, brunette businessman taking advantage of your less and savoury kinks.

His pace increased. The spare, large and veined hand of his bracing himself against the door of the elevator you were once leant on. your satisfyingly tight throat meeting every snap of his hips. 

You moaned around him. The depraved noise sends a subtle vibration right through him. 

“Do that again..-“

He spoke between the heavy breaths synced with his thrusts. And you knew it wasn't a polite request. And you happily, instinctively obliged. More moans being forced from your Pre-cum soaked throat.

He never lost control of his thrusts. The only thing he gave as warning of his climax was the distended groan he let out before his grip on your hair tightened very painfully. Soon your throat was warmed and coated in ribbons of cum. And he glared down at you. A silent demand you followed almost eagerly. Taking great care to keep your eyes locked with his as you swallowed every last drop. within two attempts. It was difficult while he was still in your mouth.

He removed his cock eventually after he was satisfied you’d taken him fully. And as quickly as it all happened, his tailored slacks were zipped up once more and his back was against the far lift wall.

Your jaw was left aching. Your expensive lipstick smudged down your chin and mascara gathering at the corner of your eyes. But you stood. The action of you standing made you realise the lift was moving up again. That trademark ding ringing out as you finish readjusting your skirt.

You turned around just as the door slid open. Wordlessly pushing past the people crowded around waiting to see if you were both ok. You hoped you walked fast enough that your ruined makeup looked like the blur of movement. 

But Just before you were out of earshot, you heard that painfully familiar voice ring out from behind you

“Maybe you couldn’t read my mind but I sure as hell read yours”

You hated that he was right.

[yourbonesarenowmycoat]

Tubbo's response to Wilbur's tweet, via @thefloatie on X.

Transcript:

[I was waiting] for Wilbur to say anything about anything, and...

I was informed about this a few minutes before going live, so forgive me if I don't have my thoughts 100% clear in my head, but I read through it, and, like, bro. (shakes head)

I- it made me so angry. I actually couldn't fucking believe it. I didn't- I'm like, holy shit. Sorry, it's getting me fucking- you don't- Chatters, you don't need to spam fuckin' hearts, bro. Knock that shit off.

No, all I'm saying is, like, look. You might think I have a very biased perspective when it comes to this kind of stuff. No. But like, truth be told, the amount of times I've spoke to Wilbur in private could be counted on maybe two hands, and, um... Yeah, I'm not biased in this. I think that response was fucking vile, and like, how the hell can you make... like... How the hell can this be about you, bro?

Like, I literally don't wanna say - I wanna make something very clear. If anyone in this channel or any viewer in this stream -

(Chipi Chipi Chapa Chapa starts playing) Fucking hell! Can I have three seconds? (music stops)

If any chatter in this stream or any person in this community ever thinks about defending domestic abuse or anything like that, or anything in that vein, or anything that fucking serious, you have no place here, and I want you to unfollow, and I want you to leave.

And I really highly suggest, if you want the full context, go watch Shelby's VOD, because this is literally not about me. This isn't about anyone else but Shelby. So go watch that, alright? And yeah.

And also if you want more context, I know Lexie did a stream as well, which provided a lot more context... No, I... yeah.

I just wanted to get that out there, alright? And make my position very, very well known. But again, it's not about me, alright? And I can't make that clear enough. And I think that response was so fucking unbelievable, and was like, holy shit. Holy shit. There is zero redeemable qualities. There is no even 1% that will give the benefit of the doubt. Like, that's... yeah.

[zabala0z]

Hi, my name is Zabala0z and welcome back to “Local crazy girl listens to TMA s4”. You know me, I’m ur host, yada yada

MAG 142: Scrutiny

It is so crazy hearing Jon from another persons POV. Like damn there goes his humanity bit by bit. It does make me wonder cause he never mentioned this little incident in the tapes. Did he purposely leave it out? Or does he not remember this.

“Not nice being interrogated” I see what you did there 💀 Martins being a bit more mean. I support it

MAG 143: Heart of Darkness

I love having a clear timeline. Y’know I was never super scared of The Dark, it’s actually at the bottom of my ranking of “Which TMA entities would scare me the most” but after hearing about the ritual in such extensive detail…yeah no I get it. Also, yay Natalie! Still feel horribly bad for her. I really don’t like cults. (Too bad she’ll die 💀)

THATS WHY HE KIDNAPPED THAT BOY. To use him as a vessel. Which is crazy. I’m assuming the black fog coming out of Maxwells mouth was to like possess the boy, Callum- but that makes me think. Yeah, even though it didn’t get on Callum, it hit the other guy. The policeman. The one whose eyes went milky and died. Or I think he died. But what I’m thinking is that the possession was successful just with the wrong guy.

It sounds like Manuela is like the last person of the Peoples Church of the Divine Host. Also I love how Jon went, “man that’s beautiful. Anyways-“ and then the dark sun was extinguished. Or lit up? I don’t know but it’s funny anyways. Bye Manuela, you scared me.

MAG 144: Decrypted

Ah. The Extinction. Nice to hear a statement about it. I’ve been wondering if any of the previous statements were related to it, I might try to skim some.

Also nooo Martin ☹️ stop being an asshole. Anyways, bit scared on who this man Peter Lukas is bringing from out of the country. Is it one of his relatives? Nathaniel Lukas?

MAG 145: Infectious Doubts

Gertrude Robinson has all my respect. Genuinely, what a badass. “Maybe you choose a bad God” GET HIS ASS ‼️‼️ Honestly Arthur Nolan is like the most tolerable servant of The Desolation. Then he started talking about his tenants and I started feeling sick again but y’know maybe in another universe, him and Gertrude got drinks. Not as friends, just as weird coworkers or something.

The Web is so interesting. I’m so curious about it because it’s never attempted a ritual, and there’s not much on it. I wanna know Annabelle’s deal actually. Come on girl, you wear thrifted clothes, you can’t be that bad.

It’s so interesting to hear about the entities. Like Gertrude said, they probably don’t think at all but they do so much yet so little. Bitches. Also this proves my theory that all landlords are evil.

So happy Jack will be safe. Bro needs it. Literally everyone hates him and he’s just a dude 💀 I don’t feel any sympathy for Eugene. Hope he suffers more

Okay that’s all I got! Long post, sorry about that. I have a model UN thing over the weekend so my posts are gonna be as slow as ever sorry. Expect more fanart though

[dragon-business]

Majima and pocket circuit

I'm truly not over Kiryu super cautiously letting Majima get into the hobby that is so dear to him. There's something so weirdly tender about that. Forget bowling and host clubs, that's Kiryu's actual private life. Kiryu himself just started to reconnect with it after prison.

It was such a whiplash to realize that Majima actually is not about to ruin his last place of normalcy. Another whiplash will come later, when Kiryu will realise that Majima became part of his normalcy, too.

Everything concerning Kiryu's family is a matter of intrigues, drama, and all of it is public knowledge. But this? Kiryu's weird queer friends, company of people like Bacchus, heading a bunch of kids and modding pocket cars? This is, dare I say, intimate.

Nishiki never poked into that, just snorted a bit and let his bro have his little hobbies. He was always collecting stuff since kid days: rocks, keys, cards. Now it's tiny cars. Meh.

(They have separate interests and that's alright. They do spend quality time together too, apart from all the family things.)

(No Nishiki in Kiryu's life now, tho)

I mean, Nishiki let his bro have a private life like that without snooping there. After growing up in an orphanage, where privacy is nonexistent, that's quite important.

So, back in the days of 0 Kiryu probably low key tried to pull the date scenario on Fighter, but it didn't work out. Kiryu could not hit the combo, find the right dialogue options in time, couldn't make it all near and clear. He didn't even have a full grasp on how to go about it, or why he wanted to do it in the first place.

Tragically, Fighter didn't catch any of that as anything romantic. But making bentos for Kiryu was a killer move, ngl. Poor boy, pats for Kiryu.

And now Majima is having a similar problem with Kiryu himself.

He's secretly coming to the centre to train and race people. Well, not secretly, just on days Kiryu is busy. Majima is having his own adventures and substories and kid-drama there. Talks with Fighter are their own substory.

Weirdly enough, Majima bonds with Fighter a bit during test runs of the super snake car build and even gets some sort of advice about Kiryu. Fighter knows Kiryu for a long time and respects him, and the way he talks about Kiryu makes Majima both agree and raise eyebrows.

Majima mumbles something frustrated about not knowing how to approach Kiryu or not knowing what's in his head, and Fighter says something super inspiring, something he would've said to a little kid.

Something something, Kazuma-kun is kind and honest, and you don't need to be afraid to mess up, Goro-kun, he'll forgive you. And, yeah, he's super accepting too (here Fighter reminisces his own story about leaving pocket circuit for tofu business), and he's always willing to help. He's heart is so big, he's also a great friend of the kids, they adore him-

Majima: …you can stop now.

- Majima: Dang. There's really so much more to pocket circuit than I thought. Sure, I can beat Kiryu on track, but I doubt I'll ever be a part of this weird little space.

Meanwhile, a bunch of kids hanging on him: Goro-kuuuuun, come race us again! And, oh, show us that cool trick with a knife and a lighter! 

– before / navigation / next

[luckyqueenreign]

This season of LITG has so far been so good. I wonder what happened that forced them to push the update a week… because it’s clear this “meet the OG girls” was slapped together in the matter of hours and thrown up on the app. If you haven’t played it yet and want to know if it’s worth it….it’s not. We already know what all of the girls look like and the girls don’t really say anything new or interesting.

Here’s the gist of what all of the girls said..

Estelle: Alex isn’t the type of guy she normally goes for but she wants to try something new and she thinks he’s hot.. she can’t tell right now if just friendship vibes or more and she doesn’t wanna lock things in too early like Daphne and Raf. She thinks they come off looking forced. She loves all of the girls but Willow is her bestie… she mentioned asking alex about sharing a bed. I mean it’s a given on love island especially as an og, we’ve never asked to share a bed with someone so I thought that was weird.

Daphne: poor girl, she would benefit from some acupuncture and micellar water... I felt her reasoning for going after Cassius was actually so real. This is love island you’re supposed to explore your connections and attractions and for her to explore it with Cassius and see she didn’t feel anything I think is part of the process. What I found to be possibly the only interesting thing any of the of girls said was when she was talking about Alex she mentioned that he’s Raf’s bestie and that he would redo her kitchen cabinets but then she gets flirty and blushes and says “That’s not the only reason I like him” EXCUSE ME?!? 🤔👀 I wonder if they’re going to explore this at all or if this was just a random thing they added in to this super rushed update. I guess we’ll see.

Willow: she says she needed a break and her and Bryson aren’t really vibing. I’m sorry to the Bryson girlies but I get what she means, I kind of felt like he was a little annoying and it’s the reason why I couldn’t jump on his route 😬🫣 anywayyy Willow says she normally goes for business bros but it seems like it doesn’t matter what type of guy both types sucked, so she’s hoping for a new bombshell. Is it just me or isn’t Willow perfectly coded to have a friends to lovers type route with MC like a more new and improved Angie route??? Really hope they do bc the wlw routes def need some work. As for the other guys she thinks alex is a hottie, Joyo is gonna take her diving and eek she said it looked like Raf wasn’t that interested in Daphne before they left for casa.

Geri: I’m sorry but immediately I couldn’t focus on anything because they gave her the tiniest hands ever and it somehow makes her head also look bigger. Look at this pic of her and Daphne. Look at the hands!! The poor girls proportions are all off.

Ok ok back to what was said.. her connection to Joyo seems super physical and not much else. The things they have in common are all of the many places they’d want to bone and coffee. Basically she’s unsure of where her couple stands right before casa. She thinks Estelle and Alex are great for other people. She doesn’t seem them vibing or going very far. Daphne and Raf she thinks are vibing hard and she would be shocked if he twisted! This made me think if you’re on the Raf route she might be your enemy but on the Alex route she might be more friendly towards you. (I really hope they explore that) as everyone else has said Bryson is too much of a flirt that it’s hard to tell how he actually feels. She feels like there’s a spark missing with both Joyo and Bryson. She thinks every girl but Daphne is going to twist!! But she mentions we can’t forget history could repeat itself and Daphne could end up twisting too. It would actually be exciting if they had all of the girls twist too BUT I’m thinking that, that would mean no more bombshells for the rest of the season because we would be getting four new boys at once. I doubt they would throw more bombshells in for an already shortened season.