#bro looks like a rotten lemon

[cyber-neptune]

Tw : expired food/rotten food

“Omg bayverse bumblebee looks so cool and pretty!!”

Bayverse bumblebee :

[127luvr]

Hmm Minghao(svt) x male reader who is also in svt and they habe a little museum date and then look at the sunset while being completely smitten for eachother like it's literally tooth rottening sweet

Heaven’s cloud ☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖

Xu Minghao x Male Reader

Xu Minghao is not one to say I love you often. He’s never felt it necessary to verbally express how he was feeling—he’d much rather show it with his actions. Whether it was tying your shoes for you—or sharing a sip of his beverage before you could ask—or simply snaking his arm around you. Around your waist—around your shoulders—no matter what, Minghao always found himself linked to you.

“Hao.” He loves the way the nickname sounds rolling off your tongue. Loves the way your hand finds its way to the left side of his jacket to pull him in closer. “What if people see us?”

“(Y/n). I’m wearing a hat, thick glasses and a mask. What are they going to recognize? The lower half of my ears?” You want to laugh with him, to feel as carefree as he sounds as he pulls you in by your belt loops. You can see his eyes glint behind his glasses, a fondness that only appeared when he was looking at you. “Besides, we’re in the same group. If anything, we can just say we were hanging out you know? As bros.” Even with the mask covering the lower half of his face you can hear his smile—the laugh that doesn’t quite escape his mouth to not catch anyone’s attention.

“And do bros loop their fingers through their other bros belt loops or am I the exception?” Minghao pulls himself away from you—the draft of cold air hitting you almost instantly—winking as he walks to the other side of the art exhibit.

The room is full of priceless art pieces. Some you could spend hours gazing at—wondering what meaning they had hidden under all the brush strokes. But none of them came close to Minghao.

Not when he stood in front of the blandest painting in the room, baggy jeans threatening to hit the floor if it weren’t for his platform shoes. He’s examining it, letting his eyes seize it up and down and side to side. Anything to keep his attention on the painting instead of turning his gaze towards you. You can’t help but take a picture, letting a warm smile take over when you finally make your way over to him.

“It’s a nice painting.” You see his shoulders jump up in surprise, not expecting you to be this close but he stands even straighter, offering nothing more but a hum of recognition. “However, you’re much nicer to look at.”

“That was bad even for you.” Hao still refuses to face you, his eyes never leaving the painting. You stand next to him, finally directing your full attention to it, trying to see what lured him to this specific piece.

It’s nothing special. A simple ombré effect that starts with orange at the top, a lemon yellow in the middle, and finally a blue at the bottom. You can see why he’s examining it—the blending is seamless—not a single stray brushstroke in sight. And while it may be plain at first glance, the brush work is unmatched. If it weren’t for the signature at the bottom you would’ve never guessed this was hand painted.

It’s a nice sight—the two of you standing next to each other—enough for your arm to brush against his but not enough to where it could look suspicious. You have a feeling you’ll see pictures taken from a distance of both of you but for now you bask in the moment. Choosing to lean your head on Minghao’s shoulder, breaking his cold streak. He wastes no time in wrapping his arm around your waist, bringing you in closer. Hints of his cologne seep through your mask, the familiar scent weakening your legs.

He turns his head towards you, pulling his mask down under his bottom lip, making sure to press as close as he could to your ear, “Wanna get out of here?”

Although his wording was suggestive, the two of you ended up walking next to a nearby shoreline. Kicking the sand you cross as you watch the water creep up on the two of you slowly. Minghao keeps your hand in his, bringing it to sit in his pocket intertwined with his own. It’s sweet. It keeps you warm in this cool breeze. Never too hot and never too cold.

You see the same colors in the sky as you did in the painting. The blueness of the sky being taken over by a blend of orange and yellow with a hint of pink. And while it’s not as seamless as it was on the canvas, it manages to take your breath away. And suddenly you’re standing next to Minghao like you were in the museum. Watching the sky diligently in silence with him. He looks so peaceful from the corner of your eyes—lost in thought as he gazes towards the horizon—he’s never looked more beautiful. You pull your phone out again with your free hand, taking a few steps back to capture the moment. He knows what you’re doing—the awkward shuffling of your feet on the sand without letting go of his hand humoring him.

“(Y/n).”

“Shh, you’re going to ruin the picture.” But you both know you really don’t mind—not when the image of him is forever ingrained into your mind. Always there even when you close your eyes. But it’s nice—the first few pictures you take of him are tame. He offers a big grin with his mask pulled down to his chin—until he finally reaches over to cover your camera as you continue to take pictures. The last few are completely black. They’ll make for a nice post one day.

[csaw]

Meet the weird cousin no one talks about at the family reunion:

Vigore! (in my head it's pronounced like Igor) (He's my OC/Sona for oxy's dunmeshi modern au)

Vampire freak, he likes getting in everyone's pants. and he's very open about it, don't sleep with him if you can't handle everyone he knows finding out lmfao

Random things about him under the cut:

He is 5'8, not very tall...

He doesn't know what romantic love is, so.. he calls everything that isn't sexual love platonic (guess who's projecting!)

He has a friend group (aside from his coworkers) and he makes out with all of them otl and has been in bed with all of them at least once... but they're just friends. Friends that have sex with each other but still, friends.

I think u could put him under the polyam umbrella, but he genuinely doesn't know what the difference between romantic and platonic love is so ... he's really confusing. He'll take u out on a few dates and introduce you to his friend group and even his family and then finally you guys have sex and then u have to ask... What are we ? 🥺😿 And he'll say smth like "we're besties :3 ur like a brother/sister/sibling to me... I love you so much." BRO YOU STUCK UR DICK IN ME WDYM IM LIKE A SIBLING TO YOU?!?!?! and then he makes out with you again- rinse + repeat. endless cycle until you cut him off or try to explain u want him romantically. Then he's like. Okay? What does that mean??

He's a vampire, I would say he's pure-blooded but he's also super young for an immortal, he's like. 27 ish. And he still works in a shitty min wage job. Plus a secret hobby that he uses to make side cash..

His mom is 200+ years old and his dad is like in his 180's. But they both look like they're in their late 30's or very early 40's

His favorite drink is O- low sugar blood with lemon and cucumber.. he likes it hot, he hates drinking cold blood (most vampires do tbh)

He got high once in highschool with his friends and ended up having a psychotic episode, so. He doesn't take drugs other than his prescription anti-psychotics now!! and his sleep meds. nocturnalism be damned...

He visited Chilchuck's store ONCE with his dad and the only reason he keeps coming back is to hit on Chil. Chil hates (?) this, Vi buys absolutely nothing and just follows him around pretending to be interested until he can try his luck again. His dad and chil are acquaintances with each other (divorced fathers get along) but .. fucking... Vi is sabotaging that relationship just by being a nuisance. He wants that hot halfling dilf to pound him out of frustration. Chilchuck hasn't asked him to stop yet... So Vi takes that as a sign that he can keep showing up! He's waiting for Chilchuck to break so he can get that hate sex he's been dreaming about since he met the guy

He acts pretty normal at work, and tries to keep a decent relationship with his coworkers (Laios + Kabru)

He is thirsting after Namari, she goes to the store he works at for groceries and.. he gets heart palpitations when she talks to him. Luckily his blood is rotten bc he's dead, so he doesn't blush! But if he was alive, you know his pasty ass would be bright fucking red. Namari is the only person he gets this nervous speaking to, tbh. He's usually really chill, or unabashedly freaky on main. This is the only time he considers thinking of a definition for romantic love, because. It feels different from platonic love. (Or what he calls platonic love at least) It's also very much a sexual attraction thing, but! There's something more?!

He's vers btw, and he low-key wants to fuck Kabru ... He has a thing for pretty twinks and dirty butches, sigh.

He wears open flannels, low cut tank tops, sometimes a band or graphic tee, and ripped jeans. He owns 2 sneaker pairs, one of the pairs is one size too big and the other is half a size too small, and then he has his combat boots that r actually the correct size but take too long to put on so he only wears them occasionally. He also wears crosses out of spite since he's a vampire and the world's biggest sinner.

He has a blade tattoo bc he thinks blade is hot and he had a crush on Deacon Frost from the first movie. He's so fucking gay oh my god

He has way too many accessories. And clothes in general tbh. But he's prepared for any occasion....

He has the vibes and personality of a stoner but bro doesn't even drink alcohol. He's too scared to do anything like that. Poser tbh

Hrmmm... Ask me questions about him idk

Oh he doesn't sweat and he wears mostly full body clothing in the day time, just to keep the sun away. Yes he gets crispy in the sun... Not a metaphor he starts to burn up and his skin turns to ashes. Vampire business.

He doesn't like telling people that he's a vampire bc of stigma around it, but he doesn't try to hide it either? It's something most people figure out pretty early on without him having to explain it lol. Also he doesn't like being sexualized bc of his vampirism, he wants you to sexualize him because he's a stinky hairy freak that likes getting pegged by older women. Not because of some stereotype u made up in ur head about him.

That's all I know for now...

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 6 “Fart Bet, Easy Bucks” [Episode List] When, rather immaturely, Tim’s friends are doing some random, silly bets, things soon turn stinkier and gassier as Dave joins the game…

Fart Bet, Easy Bucks

The immature, roaring laughter of me and my friends echoed in the living-room as another pal of mine, Jim, took one last bite of an onion, his cheeks turning red, teary eyes, almost puking in front us. We clapped our hands like the drunk monkeys we were, ignoring our friend’s gagging sounds, and we all took another shot of vodka in his honor.

“Well done, Jim!” Adam laughed, as tipsy as the rest of us.

That’s what we were doing in Adam’s parent-free house: really mature bets. At late night, it was almost 3:00 a.m. Our onion-eating friend just lost one of those silly bets we were challenging each other to do. Pretty stupid tasks, like standing on one foot for 3 minutes or reading stuff upside down. Quite mundane, easy, but try doing it after two bottles of vodka-lemon. Each.  The loser had to take a couple of bites of an onion, because as I said, we’re very mature. And clever.

The entire room stunk like that stinky vegetable and alcohol, didn’t help that some of us were also burping loudly and proudly, but we were too tipsy to even notice or even be bothered by that (plus, it’s not like I’m not used to… bad-smelling stuff…). When not betting each other to do shit, we were all sitting on two different couches: Adam, Jim and a couple of other guys were all sitting and burping on a longer couch, while I was on a smaller one with Dave, sitting next to me.

As more laughs roared in the room for no reason, in the chaos, Dave elbowed me and chuckled a bit, bringing to my attention the weird vibrations on the couch: he was ripping one of his big farts, the sound completely muffled by the pillows, his loose dark grey jeans probably making it sound even louder and manlier. I only smiled a bit a took another shot of vodka; my gassy friend did the same, finding my awkward reaction hilarious as usual.

“Tim, it’s your turn!”

I almost chocked on my own drink when I heard my name: Dave’s flatulence usually makes me very absent-minded. I finally realized that Adam was standing in the middle of the room, each one of us, one by one, whistling a song to him: if he guessed wrong, then it’s onion-hell for him. It was my turn to whistle a song then. I think about it for a moment, and then I start to whistle this famous hit from a couple of years earlier, but I was pretty drunk, so I didn’t really realize how weird the sounds coming out of my lips were, but my friends laughing should have been a wake-up call.

Eventually, Adam ran out of time, because he couldn’t guess the song I was “singing” to him. He was mad, almost furious, but it was the alcohol talking.

“Tim, you’re an idiot!” he was understandably angry, because it was my fault. “That wasn’t even a real song, you asshole!”

Didn’t help that we were all laughing at him, but my friend didn’t accept defeat, and he actually had all the rights to.

“I’m not going to eat those fucking onions!” Adam shouted. “Tim made me lose: he should be the one choking on that shit!”

I wasn’t offended, to be honest. I was actually laughing like the rest of the guys.

“Dude… we’re out of onions!” Jim said, noticing the empty plate.

We all laughed even more after that and I may have given to my angry friend a smug-ish look. I was just kidding, but he took it very seriously.

“Oh you’re going down, Tim. Just you wait…”

He eventually convinced our other pals that I was, indeed, deserving a “punishment”.

“Make him lick your dog’s balls!” someone suggested. “Leave my princess out of this!” Adam replied, offended.

It’s like the entire group stopped being drunk just to decide what disgusting task I should have done. I just laughed the whole time: it’s part of the game, they were not mean-spirited. Even Dave suggested some stuff, like drinking expired milk with my nostrils. Each suggestion was met with a mixture of laughter and disgust.

After a couple of minutes of discussion, I felt Dave once again elbowing me.

“Gentlemen, please!” he shouted, in a slightly sarcastic tone. “Since you’re wasting my time, I propose an entire new bet. Whether the result, Tim will still get his… punishment, trust me!”

He was trying not to laugh, but he did earn some puzzled looks from our other pals.

“If Tim survives to  this  for 5 minutes straight…” he leaned a bit, the couch shaking again under the pressure of his enormous, muffled fart, which lasted 4 seconds. Our other friends laughed immaturely and I started to sweat. “…then you guys are going to give us 20$. Each.”

Dave was insane. Was he really going to do what I think… no, that’s just crazy. It can’t be, come on! There was people watching us! Our friends were a both amused and disgusted.   But also intrigued.

“But if he gives up, then Tim owes Adam… let’s see… 200$” “What?!” I thought, the money-part being the only thing I disagreed with. The thought of Dave face-farting me was amazingly distracting as usual.

As our friends discussed Dave’s proposal, my gassy friend just patted my shoulder. “Come on Tim, that’s some easy bucks, right?” he whispered, chuckling a bit. My fetish was just a weird, fun game to him, and I couldn’t have been happier. But in front of our pals? That was too strange even for my standards.

When I turned to my gassy bro, however, he was already leaning on his back, his legs cocked up, his loose dark grey jeans forming that well-known “barrage” made of denim, a really familiar sight for me. I heard my friends laugh, Adam getting closer to me, his hands on my shoulders.

“Come on Tim… I want to see your face turn green!”

He was trying to sound threatening, but he couldn’t help but laugh; I know Adam: he’s just a friendly dork trying to act tough and I knew that he was actually finding the entire situation immaturely hilarious. But he had to look mad, it’s part of his… character.

I heard Dave sucking some air in his ass, his jeans now sagging, exposing a bit of his red underwear (interesting color, that’s for sure). The weird sounds coming from my friend’s butt were the only thing I could hear, despite my friends laughing. Every time Dave farted was like a dream coming true, but this time we were not alone. I stopped thinking about how risky the situation was for a moment, knowing that my friends would never suspect what was really going on between me and Dave, and just listened to the chorus of “Sniff it!”.

I gently buried my face in that soft, denim pillow, his legs slowly wrapping around my head, as if he was hugging me, trapping me in his gas-chamber. With my nose touching his underwear-covered anus, I could still feel the air being sucked in. A moment of silence, and then I felt his butt-muscles relax, and a first fart began.

It was so loud it’s hard to describe. Despite being on command, it was incredibly gross and wet-ish. The smell was rancid and unbearable, the mixture of alcohol and onions in Dave’s stomach probably produced something that no human would have been able to handle. The fart was so strong… loud, manly: my entire face was shaking, I swear I’ll never get used to his gassy talent. I could barely hear my friends laughing: my ears were devoted to Dave’s immense display of flatulence.

I coughed a bit, pretending to hate the smell, when the truth was obviously really different. This first fart alone lasted almost 20 seconds, one of the longest I’ve ever experienced from him. Our friends clapped their hands in approval, having yet another shot of vodka, a toast to the incredible display of fart-talent they just witnessed, and just kept laughing immaturely.

As they laughed, I saw Dave’s face just above that “barrage” of sagging jeans: as usual, he was laughing, and smiled at me, and then winked: his “plan” was working great. I felt his hand brushing through my hair and gently pushing me even deeper into the denim depths of his ass, this time with my nose almost perfectly aligned with his underwear-clad anus.

Dave’s grip, as usual, felt more like a caress, and the fart that immediately followed was just as big as the first one. And hilarious as well. “This is a natural one!” I heard him say, basically bragging about his gassy-abilities, as the fart kept going strong, our friends laughing again. “Pull him closer!” Jim shouted, then (probably him) pushed me even more “inside” of Dave’s butt (I couldn’t tell if it was Jim, as my face –and eyes- was completely buried in my friend’s fart-shooter). Dave made his butt comically wiggle a bit, forcing some toots out: my nostrils were almost burning, the stench being a mixture of rotten onions and burning vodka-lemon.

“That’s so gay!” Adam laughed. Ironically, he was right, about me at least.

“3 minutes already!” I heard somebody scream. I almost lost track of time: as I said, those farts make me absent-minded. Dave just kept ripping this series of loud rips one after one, without even sucking in. I couldn’t tell anymore whether he was farting on command or not anyway: he was just so good at it that the farts always felt natural (and, 99% of times, they were). “Aww man.” Dave chuckled, lying down slowly. He was tired, exhausted. “Can I turn around?!” he asked. They all simply laughed in response, though I also heard some gagging sounds.

My best friend turned around slowly, adjusting his position, his legs somehow keeping my face planted in his ass, as if he was “wrestling” me down, albeit very slowly and gently. He was now lying on his stomach, his loose-jeans butt looking like a beautiful pillow made of denim, his red underwear slightly popping out.

“Do your longest one, Dave!” Adam suggested. I was both mad and grateful for that.

He then came closer and made sure that my face was buried in the farter’s butt, pushing me even deeper in it. Dave just laughed, while I was trying not to get as red as tomato. I just couldn’t believe how open-minded Dave was about this, going as far as face-farting me in front of everyone else; granted, the bet was a smart excuse, but still, I was speechless. I didn’t even feel embarrassed: it was like a big prank, and friends alway prank each other, but the friendship remains intact, if not even stronger.

“Alright, I feel a good one… ready?” my gassy friend said, but it’s like he was talking to me only, as if we were alone as usual, during one of our fart sessions.

It’s like his butt “hugged” my face even more, right before the explosion that engulfed my entire, defenseless head in a cloud of stench. The fart shook my entire face and part of the couch like an earthquake. The chainsaw-like sounds were as loud as a thunder; the whole flatulence sounded fake, but it wasn’t, at all. 10 seconds, but the fart kept going strong, almost unnaturally.

I caught a glimpse of Dave’s smile as he slightly turned his head around, making sure I was enjoying it, but the rest of our friends didn’t notice that apparently, as they were too busy laughing and clapping their hands. “No way!” Adam shouted, in a mixture of anger and hilarity: as the fart was still being ripped, Dave slightly lowered his jeans a bit, fully exposing the red underwear, the sound getting even louder. I felt his hand again pushing me between his buttcheeks, as he spread his legs a bit more. I was having a close-encounter with his anus, the underwear acting as one final line of defense separating me from the real source of that gas. The smell was unbearable: onions smelt nice in comparison. And it was great.

As a “big finale”, as Dave announced it, the flatulence turned as loud as it was humanly possible, the ear-piercing sound almost destroying my own eardrums. My nostrils were burning, my nose getting wet-ish due to Dave’s sweaty buttcheeks. It was the most intense face-farting that my best friend ever made me experience… and he was straight: imagine if he was gay!

“No fucking way!” Adam roared. “5 minutes!”

Everyone else cheered and laughed, playfully throwing pillows at our angry friend. I slowly sat back, Dave doing the same, tying his jeans belt again. He patted on my shoulder, laughing, while I was doing my best to tame my huge boner, hidden by my own jeans.

“No way! You guys did this before, come on!”

Adam asked, ironically (if only he knew…), now laughing too, as he took a 20$ bill out of his wallet. The rest of the guys reluctantly did the same, throwing money at us, disgusted and amused at the same time.

The entire living-room now smelt like onions and rotten alcohol (if rotten-alcohol existed… does it exist?), everyone moaning in disgust, while me and Dave counted the money we just earned… by cheating.

“Easiest bucks we ever made!” he whispered, handing 50% of the cash to me, elbowing me like he did other times. “Great job!” he chuckled.

We all had another shot of vodka-lemon, and the night proceeded as usual, as Jim found another stash of onions hidden in the fridge. As the really clever betting continued, my gaze landed more than once on Dave… just Dave, sitting next to me, as if nothing happened. He’s like a brother, my best friend. He did that for me, he felt he was really gassy because of all the alcohol… and so farted in my face as an excuse, money or not.

Yes, I bet Dave did all of that for me, not just the money. And that’s another bet I’m sure I’ll win.

End of Episode 6

[leelysian]

Changbin as your older brother AU 💖✨

genre: fluff, bullet point fic

word count: 2.3k

warnings: swearing

Disclaimer: I do not personally know Changbin. This work is purely fiction and my own idea. I took inspiration from his on screen persona. Please do not translate or re-upload my work.

A/N: hi :) Sorry if this is kinda bad. I’m running out of ideas for this series(?). It’s really hard to write these aus for the members when there’s limited knowledge about them and when you’re trying to make everything seem different without making it seem like they’re all one dimensional and cut from the same cloth. Thank you to everyone who has been reading these older brother aus and thank you for being patient. Please leave some feedback, it really keeps me going. ❤️

☆ Let’s start with you as babies.

☆ Changbin would for sure as kiddy questions like “How did the baby get inside mummy’s tummy?” “When will baby come out?” “How does baby poop?”

☆ Your parents either answered him vaguely or somehow dodged his questions.

☆ Would sleep in your parents bedroom close to your mum to protect her baby bump.

☆ Would be hella excited to feel you kick in your mum’s tummy.

☆ Would say cute things to the baby bump. “Come out quickly baby I can’t wait to play with you.” “We can play with *insert favourite toy* together.” “We’re going to have a lot of fun together.” I am close to tears

☆ Doesn’t care about the gender.

☆ When you were born, he was extremely excited to see you but little Binnie patiently waited till your parents had their moment first until they ushered him to the hospital bed.

☆ He was wide eyed as he held you as if scared to hurt you. He smiled when he stroked your cheek with a finger and smiled wider when you grabbed onto his finger.

☆ CUDDLES, CUDDLES AAAAAAAND MORE CUDDLES

☆ Tried to help your parents take care of you but most of the time failed.

☆ *tries to put pants on you* *gets kicked in the face instead*

☆ The only thing he could properly do was cuddle you as he fed you a bottle and somehow you ate properly if he was the one feeding you when you were being fussy.

☆ *you two fall asleep while he’s holding you*

☆ Adoring/curious stares.

☆ Fed you a bit of lemon for jokes when you were starting to grow teeth and had the time of his fricking life when he saw your reaction.

☆ I’m talking the kind of laughs he does with his whole body.

☆ Helped you learn how to walk patiently. Just laughed when you fell on your butt.

☆ Taught you how to high 5 at a very young age.

☆ You talked to him a lot. Not like he understood what you said because it was mostly babbling but it was fun for both of you.

☆ You broke a lot of his toys. He’d get upset until he got new ones.

☆ The one toy he never shared with you was Gyu, his plushie.

☆ Fast forward you’re older and know how to walk and talk coherently, Changbin is a kid.

☆ Changbin wants cookies but they’re on the top shelf and your mum purposefully put them there so neither of you could reach.

☆ “Changbin what are you doing?” 

☆ Changbin: 👀

☆”I’m gonna tell mum~”

☆ “NO DON’T. If you help me, I’ll give you a cookie then you have to promise me you won’t tell mum.”

☆ Your smart ass contemplated for a few seconds before you agreed, “Ok what do we do?”

☆ “If I lift you up can you grab the jar? Don’t drop it.”

☆ “Yes.”

☆ Somehow both of you managed to retrieve the jar unscathed. Why none of you thought to grab a chair and do it, I don’t know.

☆ One cookie turned to two then three until the jar was half empty and your dad caught you. 

☆ Everyone except you two with crumbs around your mouths in the room:️  

👁️👄👁️

☆ Your dad walked in with brooding eyes. He grabbed a cookie and started eating quietly, “It’s a secret.”

☆ All three of you smiled happily and continued munching on the cookies.

☆ Until a while later your mum walked in and gasped, “YOU ATE ALL THE COOKIES?! *insert dad’s name* YOU WERE IN ON THIS TOO!”

☆ The three of you gulped nervously until you said, “No mum look! We saved a few for you!” The three of you smile innocently.

☆ Your mum sighed and smiled exasperatedly. “This is the last time.” A chorus of agreement sang throughout the room yet nobody meant a single word.

☆ Most of the time you two were hyperactive and played around so much you’d be knocked out cold by the time it was around 9 pm. 

☆ Your parents had to lug you to your shared room.

☆ You two played tag a lot, he was really fast so you’d always get tagged very quickly.

☆ HIDE AND SEEK

☆ Running. So much running. You’re the hyper kids.

☆ Rock paper scissors. Winner flicks the loser’s forehead. Changbin always took the penalty but never really doled it out on you, if he did it wasn’t too hard. 

☆ Races. “LAST ONE IS A ROTTEN EGG!” 

☆ Changbin could easily win, but sometimes he slowed down purposefully to let you win for a change.

☆ Giggles. Giggles everywhere. Giggles all the time.

☆ Pillow forts in your room. 

☆ Tickle fights.

☆ Cuddling together while watching cartoons.

☆ You thought he was cool.

☆ He liked you thinking so highly of him.

☆ Made him want to be even cooler for you.

☆ He’d ruffle your hair playfully.

☆ He’d pinch your nose. “AAAAHHH”

☆ He’d pull your hair.

☆ PIGGY BACK RIDES!!!!!!!!!

☆ Such a joker. It was harmless fun.

☆ Once you doodled on his school notes. He got mad and stopped talking to you.

☆ He rarely got angry at you, sure you two bickered sometimes and sometimes got whiny at each other.

☆ You apologised with a treat you got, instead of eating it by yourself, you gave it to him as a peace offering. 

☆ He didn’t eat it himself, he shared. “It’s okay just don’t do it again. These are important. You’ll know when you get older.”

☆ “Ok. I’m sorry.”

☆ Things became alright again.

☆ Fast forward you’re tweens/teens/young adults.

☆ The dynamic is wild.

☆ You two would always goof around like idiots.

☆ Changbin annoyed you a lot.

☆ “Y/N look over there!” you’re stuck in visible confusion. *smacks your head and runs* 

☆ “CHANGBIN!”

☆ You’re eating chips. “Y/n what’s that?” “What’s what?” *steals bag* 

☆ “When are you gonna stop tricking me?”

☆ “When are you gonna stop falling for that?” 

☆ You get pissed.

☆ Then it escalates into a wrestling match until ultimately you get hurt and start nearly crying in pain.

☆ “FUCK! SHIT SHIT SHIT I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY HERE YOU CAN HIT ME BACK. PLEASE DON’T TELL MUM! PLEASE STOP CRYING!” 

☆ You’re watching tv peacefully. Changbin walks in with a nerf gun/water gun. “REACH FOR THE SKY!”

☆ The living room turns into a warzone or a set for mission impossible.

☆ You ‘borrow’ his clothes. “Y/N STOP STEALING MY SHIT!”

☆ He ‘borrows’ your charger. “GET YOUR OWN CHARGER CHANGBIN!”

☆ He casually strolls into the living room, sits next to you with feet propped up on the table, snatches the remote when you’re not looking and changes the channel. 

☆ “HEY I WAS WATCHING THAT!”

☆ “Well too bad. I don’t wanna watch it.”

☆ “GIMME THE REMOTE!” “No :}”

☆ Another wrestling match for the remote.

☆ You hide his glasses. Basically keep them with you.

☆ “Hey y/n have you seen my glasses?” “Nope.”

☆ He looks EVERYWHERE. 

☆ You keep them on top of the tv when he’s away. “Hey Changbin found it on the tv.”

☆ “That’s weird I don’t remember putting them there. The heck?”

☆ “Maybe you’re just losing your mind. Already becoming an oldie?”

☆ “I may be old but I can still kick your ass.”

☆ You’re the younger sibling that either grows up to the same height as him quicker or grows taller than him somehow.

☆ He hates it. You thrive on it. “Hehe shortie. Can you even reach?”

☆ So he started working out to tone up.

☆ You’re barely able to lift a heavy box. He picks it up with ease. “Do you even lift?”

☆ He’s washing the dishes. You leave your dish for him and sneak out. “Y/N! I SWEAR-”

☆ You have a lit music taste because of him. 

☆ You’re sleeping, he’s up early. You need to go to school. Instead of waking you up like a normal person, he pulls the blankets completely off of you and tackles you. “Y/N WAKE UP!”

☆ “CHANGBIN YOU CRAZY BASTARD! DO YOU WANNA DIE?!”

☆ You two are eating. He’ll finish eating seemingly at the speed of light and stare at you eating. “I’m not sharing.”

☆ “I didn’t say anything.”

☆ awkward silence

☆ You pass your food to him. “You owe me, pabbit (pig + rabbit)”

☆ Both of you forget about it later on.

☆ He’s hella clumsy.

☆ He’d definitely break a glass or plate or vase.

☆ He’s the type to fix something just enough to make it seem not broken so the next person who uses it would think they broke it.

☆ Anything to not get his ass handed to him by mummy dearest.

☆ You do this thing to annoy him which is basically mock/copy him when he tells you something. 

☆ “Hey you know-” “Hey you know-” “you know that-” “you know that-” this continues a few more times until he screams and tackles you.

☆ You did this thing where you literally jumped on his back when he was unaware and you'd stick to him. The scream was worth bursting your eardrums. Worked every time.

☆ He was built he could carry you.

☆ Another thing is copying his actions.

☆ He yawns, you yawn. He scratches his nose, you copy. He stretches, you stretch. He shifts, you copy. 

☆ “STOP COPYING ME!” “Stop copying me” “I said STOP COPYING ME!” “I said stop copying me!”

☆ “I hate you.” “I love you too bro.”

☆ His friends like you and a lot of times you hang out with him and his friends.

☆ He wears the weirdest stuff just for shits and giggles.

☆ “Hey y/n.” “What?” you look at him and burst out laughing.

☆ Where he got a shark head mask, you had no idea. You had tears running down your face as he started to sing and sexy dance to baby shark.

☆ “STOP I’M GONNA PEE!”

☆ You two say the darndest things.

☆ “I just realised- if vampires can’t go out in the sunlight then wouldn’t the moonlight kill them too?

☆ “How?”

☆ “Moonlight is just the sunlight shining from behind the moon dumbass.”

☆ “Oh shit you’re right.”

☆ Another example of this would be:

☆ “The hospital is the only place you leave without entering.”

☆ Both of you:  👁️👄👁️

☆ You’re eating watermelon. You bite some of the white bit.

☆ “I just realised the worst part of the watermelon tastes like a cucumber.”

☆ awkward silence “wait you’re right.”

☆ “Anyways, here you can wash the plates.”

☆ “Y/N!”

☆ AEGYO FLUFFY GOODNESS

☆ Will use everything in his cuteness arsenal to get what he wants.

☆ You hate to admit it actually works sometimes.

☆ “Y/n~ pleeeaaaseee get me some cookies.”

☆ “No.”

☆ He keeps whining and rocking or shaking you. “PLEEEEAAAAAASEEE”

☆ “FINE!”

☆ Who’s really the older sibling and who’s really the younger sibling?

☆ “You know you could’ve just gotten them yourself with the time it took you to annoy me into getting them for you?”

☆ He just smiles toothily. 

☆ “If you could choose between a giant me or 5 mini me’s which would you choose?”

☆ “Neither I’d rather die.”

☆ “Y/N! WHYYYYY” he whines and shakes you.

☆ He’s always there for you when you need him the most. He’ll always comfort you with tight hugs. 

☆ He’s the type of person to make silly jokes and make you smile or laugh to make you feel better instead of sort of brooding with you.

☆ This is only acceptable with him, if anyone else tried to be goofy when you were upset it wouldn’t work.

☆ Because it’s Changbin’s thing. Only he has that power.

☆ You rarely see him upset. He’s always smiling, joking around and acting cute.

☆ One time, really late at night you saw him in the kitchen sitting with a glass of milk. He hadn’t noticed you. 

☆ This was off putting because you rarely saw him this quiet. He’s always laughing and loud.

☆ He was staring off in the distance, the glass gathering condensation from being out of the fridge and into warm temperature.

☆ “Can’t sleep?” He was startled and shook his head no. “What’s on your mind?”

☆ “It’s nothing.” You sat with a glass of water. “You know you can tell me, right?”

☆ “I know I just don’t wanna bother you.” he said and this confused you. “Why would you be bothering me? That’s absurd.”

☆ He shrugged, “I dunno, seems like all I do is annoy people these days.”

☆ You pat his back. “Hey, that’s not true. Well it only applies to me because you’re my sibling. That’s a thing. Is there anything specific you’re talking about?”

☆ He stays quiet for what seems like the longest time until he unloads. 

☆ You’re not good with words like he is. You try your best to listen and give sensible input. 

☆ Changbin admired that about you. Despite being younger, you were sometimes mature and understanding. You were authentic, you never tried to be something you weren’t.

☆ Which is why he always valued your words. 

☆ Afterwards if he had anything on his mind, sometimes he’d vent to you.

☆ You the ability to make his insecurities disappear simply because he feels stupid for the way he thinks when he talks to you. 

☆ You make his problems miniscule, not in a belittling way but in a way that makes him realise how things could be different or done differently.

☆ Your sense of perception was something amazing.

☆ This is why Changbin believed you were the best sibling he could ask for.

☆ But little did he know, you wouldn’t be able to function properly if he wasn’t the goofy, silly, clumsy, idiotic Changbin who exists today.

☆ He’s just the right type of flavour you need in your bland life.

☆ don’t be shy put some more.

☆ He’s the right balance of a clown, a baby and a guardian angel.

☆ He’s extremely caring, loyal, kind hearted and annoying.

☆ You’d change absolutely nothing.

[angelofthequeers]

Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

Chapter 9 | Chapter 11 | AO3 link

“And just where are you going?” comes an unwelcome voice as Adrien’s about to head through the front doors. He winces and turns to confront his father, who’s standing on the staircase as he always does when talking to Adrien.

“To get ice cream with my friends, Father,” he says. “You said I could.”

Next to Gabriel, Nathalie clears her throat. “You did, sir,” she says. “Adrien explicitly asked me to find a time when he had no obligations, and you gave your permission when I passed along his request.”

“Hmm.” Gabriel surveys Adrien with cold eyes. They’re grey, just like Marinette’s, but they couldn’t be any more different; while Gabriel’s are chilly and devoid of life, Marinette’s are like warm fire, blazing with the spirit and passion that’s present in everything she does. “How is your piano coming along?”

“I’ve mastered the piece you’ve had me play.”

“Chinese?”

“I got every single exercise right in my last lesson.”

“Fencing?”

“I’m still the best in the class. You can ask Mr D’Argencourt.”

Gabriel continues to stare at Adrien unblinkingly. Adrien holds his head high, willing himself not to gulp or shuffle or show any sign of weakness that his father can latch onto and turn against him.

“Be back by seven o’clock,” Gabriel finally says, and Adrien has to squash down the urge to shriek and start dancing a jig on the spot. “Not one minute later, or this will be your last outing.”

“Thank you, Father!” Adrien blurts out. “Um, what if there’s an akuma attack and I can’t get home?”

Something unidentifiable flickers across Gabriel’s face for a nanosecond. Then his face is smooth and blank as ever and he’s replying, “Then I expect you to hide appropriately and return home as soon as Ladybug and Chat Noir have defeated the akuma. I’m not unreasonable.”

Adrien’s sorely tempted to snort at that but considering that his father’s given him free reign for the evening, that’s probably the quickest way to get himself locked up in his room again. Instead, he smiles and nods and follows the Gorilla out to the limo so that he can meet his friends at the Trocadéro. Marinette, Alya, Nino, Ivan, Mylène, and Lila are already there when he arrives, and their faces light up in unison at the sight of his limo pulling up to the kerb.

“Adrien! Dude!” Nino gives him a bro hug once he makes it over to his friends.

“I’m surprised your dad let you out,” Alya says dryly.

“So am I,” Adrien says. “But I’m not gonna complain. Um, Lila, can you please not hang off me?” he adds when Lila tries to latch onto his arm.

“Oh! I’m sorry that you’re uncomfortable!” Lila says. “We’re just very physical in Italy. It’s how we show affection among friends.” She looks like she’s going to try and grab his arm again but thankfully, the looming presence of the Gorilla behind Adrien dissuades her, and so she settles for standing as close to him as she can without the Gorilla scowling at her. It’s still too close, but at least Adrien can breathe.

“We’ve got an escort?” Marinette says.

“Yeah,” Adrien says, “We can’t drive to find André, so he has to tag along. Is that…okay?”

“Sure!” Marinette smiles and waves at the Gorilla, but his face is as impassive as it always is. “So, guys, where’s André today?”

“The deal with André and his ice-cream cart is that you never know where he's gonna be!” Nino says, already tapping away on his phone. “You gotta follow his clues to find out where he's gonna set up!”

“The first time Mylène and I wanted André's ice-cream, it took us three hours to find his cart!” Ivan says and wraps an arm around Mylène with a laugh. “Do you remember?”

“Yeah!” Mylène chuckles in response.

“Hey! Someone posted a photo!” Nino cries. “He’s on his way to the Pont des Arts!”

“Let’s go!” Mylène grabs Ivan’s hand and takes off. Lila looks like she’s going to make a grab for Adrien again, so he turns to Marinette and hauls the surprised girl onto his back before she can react.

“Last one there’s a rotten akuma!” Adrien says and breaks into a sprint, carrying Marinette with him and leaving Nino, Alya, and the Gorilla to bring Lila. Okay, so maybe this is a little mean…but honestly, Adrien’s asked Lila not to touch him and he’s repeatedly made his discomfort obvious, so he doesn’t feel as bad as he thought he would for leaving her behind. Marinette’s giggling in his ear is just further proof that he’d made the right choice, especially because she’s got her arms and legs wrapped tightly around him to secure herself without constricting him and feeling him up, as Lila might have done. “Is this okay, Marinette? Sorry I didn’t ask you first –”

“Don’t apologise!” Marinette rests her chin on his shoulder, her hot breath ghosting across his skin as she continues to laugh, and he has to fight back the sudden shiver that threatens to break free and ravage his body. Huh? “I’m glad you’re having fun, Adrien.”

Being Chat Noir must be paying off, because Adrien’s surprised to find that he’s not tired in the least from carrying Marinette as they near the Pont des Arts bridge, where a fat, jovial man is singing in front of an ice cream cart. Ivan and Mylène are waiting, and the way they raise their eyebrows as Adrien draws level with them and sets Marinette back on her feet is…odd. Why are they looking at him like that?

“How sweet of you, Adrien,” Alya pants when she, Nino, Lila, and the Gorilla finally arrive just moments later. Lila looks very disgruntled, probably from being left behind, although Adrien can’t help but wonder if the way she’d directed her look at Marinette for a split second is just his imagination.

“It was a spur of the moment decision, honestly,” Adrien says, shooting a glance at Marinette. Her cheeks are flushed pink and for a brief moment, Adrien’s mind is drawn back to his visit last week, when he’d pinned her underneath him as Chat Noir. And okay, that had been a joke, but…why can’t he stop thinking about it, and why does he just want to touch Marinette every chance he gets?

“My name is André! André Glacier, the sweetheart matchmaker!” André sings nearby, ringing the bell on his cart. “With one scoop or two, I'll find love for you with magical ice cream flavours! My name is André! André Glacier, the sweetheart matchmaker! With one scoop or two, I'll find love for you with magical ice cream flavours!”

“Let’s go!” Alya claps her hands. “I wonder what flavours he’ll give us, Nino!”

Iva and Mylène are the first to reach the cart, and André’s face lights up when he sees them.

“Striking young Ivan and dear sweet Mylène!” he cries as he starts to scoop up an ice cream for them. “Chocolate, praline, and white nougat for you! A special concoction to keep your love true!”

“I wonder what I’ll get,” Adrien whispers to Marinette as Alya and Nino approach for their ice cream.

“Ah, these two, I’ve never seen!” André says. “This is your first time here with me?”

“Yeah!” Nino and Alya laugh, taking each other’s hands.

“Probably candy cane, for your father’s tie,” Marinette says, and Adrien devolves into a coughing fit from the sudden bubble of laughter that shoots up into his throat. “Oh my gosh! Are you okay, Adrien?”

“He’s choking!” Lila gasps. “I know the Heimlich manoeuvre, but my wrist is –”

“I’m fine,” Adrien forces out, wiping his eyes. Even the Gorilla’s lips are twitching now that he’s sure that Adrien isn’t in danger. “I just – sorry, that was just hilarious.” How has he never realised just how funny Marinette is? It’s truly a delight to be around her now that she’s so open around him and can string together more than two words. If not for Ladybug, he might have liked Marinette –

Whoa. Wait. Where the hell did that thought come from? Marinette’s a very good friend and that’s all.

“Adrien next!” Alya says and pushes Adrien towards André, who beams.

“Ah, hello to you!” he says and twirls his scooper. “Let us see what André can do!” He starts to form the ice cream of Adrien’s heart in front of Adrien’s eyes, singing, “Strawberry chocolate chip, with blackberry for her hair and vanilla blueberry for her sweet stare!”

Ladybug? Is his ice cream Ladybug? Adrien’s heart races as André hands him the ice cream. The colours certainly match…but what does the vanilla mean? Does that stand for her grey eyes in her civilian form? If only he knew who she could be…

“And you, pretty young miss!” André says to Marinette as she draws level with Adrien. “I have the perfect ice cream to give you bliss! Lemon for his hair, peach pink like his lips, and mint for his eyes! Eat this, my dear, and your love will materialise!”

“O-Oh!” Marinette’s cheeks flush to the colour of Adrien’s strawberry ice cream as she takes the ice cream. “Um…thanks!”

“I wonder who that could be,” Alya drawls, and Marinette’s cheeks darken. Adrien blinks. Marinette’s in love with someone? Who could it be? Someone with blond hair and green eyes –

Wait. Is she…in love with Chat Noir? The blackberry ice cream in Adrien’s mouth nearly trickles out when his jaw drops, so he’s forced to turn away momentarily to swallow the ice cream and avoid turning into a mess in front of his friends. She had mentioned liking someone who plays video games and is associated with the colour green, and Chat Noir has green eyes…but how did she know he likes video games?

“Oh, Marinette, that’s so sweet!” Lila simpers. “I can’t believe your ice cream is Adrien!” She gasps and covers her mouth, while Marinette lets out a high-pitched sound and Alya, Nino, Ivan, and Mylène freeze. “Oh no! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to let that slip!”

“Wait,” says Adrien around his suddenly-swollen tongue. Oh. Oh. “Marinette has a crush on me?”

The ice cream tumbles out of Marinette’s hands and splatters on the ground, causing André to gasp. But before he can even attempt to make an ashen-faced Marinette another one, she lets out what sounds horrifically like a sob and turns to hightail it out of there.

“What the hell, Lila?” Alya hisses. “Why’d you have to go and do that to her?”

“I’m so, so sorry!” Lila wails, although Adrien can’t shake the nagging feeling that she’d deliberately let that slip. “I didn’t think – oh my gosh – I hurt Marinette! I hurt my friend! I’m such an awful person!”

“No, you’re not!” Mylène rushes to comfort Lila. “It was a mistake!”

“I’m gonna go after her,” Adrien says hoarsely. But Alya shakes her head and throws an arm out to stop him before he can move.

“You’re the last person she’ll want to see,” Alya says. “Just…trust me. Let her deal with it. I’ll go and let her cry it out on me in a bit.”

A drop of vanilla ice cream with a vein of blueberry drips onto Adrien’s hand, and he swallows and hands his ice cream back to André. “Thanks, but I think I lost my appetite,” he says.

“But –!”

Adrien shakes his head and takes off in the opposite direction to Marinette before André can try and convince him to stay, the Gorilla following immediately. Once he’s reached the bottom of the bridge stairs, he sighs and lets his shoulders slump.

“I think I want to go home,” he mumbles. The Gorilla nods and heads back for the Trocadéro where the limo is parked, and Adrien follows, lost in his swirling thoughts.

The sun’s nearly set by the time they get back to the mansion. For once in his life, Adrien’s grateful that his father’s nowhere to be seen, because it means that he’s able to make a quick escape to his room without being stopped and subjected to a thousand questions.

“Lila said that deliberately, didn’t she?” is the first thing out of Adrien’s mouth as soon as his bedroom door is shut.

“What do you think, loverboy?” Plagg drawls, wriggling his way free from inside Adrien’s shirt. “Every other person managed to avoid “accidentally” letting it slip.”

“But why? Why would she do that?” Adrien starts to pace, to try and sort out the chaos in his head. “She had to know that Marinette would be upset!”

“Maybe that’s what she was aiming for?” Plagg says with an eyeroll.

“She’s never been mean before, though. A shifty liar, yeah, but she hasn’t been outright nasty. Maybe it was a mistake?”

“Kid. Not everyone’s got a tragic backstory. Some people are just rotten.”

Adrien sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I have to talk to Marinette. I have to make sure she’s alright. And I don’t want her to get akumatised because of it.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re the person she really wants to see right now.”

“Not Adrien, sure. Plagg, claws out!”

“Oh, come ooooon –!”

The best thing about being a dark superhero is that Chat Noir’s pretty much invisible as he bounds through Paris at night, so no one’s staring at him and pointing and speculating if there could be an akuma. When he makes it to the Dupain-Cheng bakery, his stomach starts to churn at the sight of a dark-haired figure leaning on the balcony railing with her head bowed, and for a moment, he just sits on his rooftop and stares and wonders why all he wants to do is squeeze her and never let her go. But then Marinette’s shoulders spasm, and Chat Noir’s in motion before he can even think about it, leaping over to perch on the railing next to her.

“Chat Noir!” Marinette jumps back with a hand over her heart. “You scared the hell out of me!”

“Sorry, princess.” Chat Noir attempts to smile, but all he can manage is a small twitch of his lips. Marinette immediately picks up on this.

“What’s wrong?” she says.

“Nothing.”

“Uh huh.”

“No, really, nothing’s wrong with me. I, uh…heard about what happened.”

“Oh.” Marinette crosses her arms and looks away. “Did my friends ask you to come and play therapist?”

“Your friends don’t even know I’m here,” Chat Noir says. “Well, most of them. Actually…Adrien asked if I could come and make sure you’re okay. He figured you wouldn’t exactly want to see him right now.”

“Wow, and I thought he was oblivious,” Marinette mumbles. But she turns back to face Chat Noir and unfolds her arms, and Chat Noir’s heart lurches at the sight of her cheeks glistening in the orange Parisian streetlamps. Did he really cause her that much pain? How had he never noticed before? The stammering, the nervousness around him…

“He is,” Chat Noir says with a little shrug. “He didn’t realise that till Alya told him. Uh, that’s what he said to me.”

Marinette snorts. But she gestures for him to jump down next to her, so that’s a good sign at least.

“I thought I was finally getting around my c-crush on him,” she says, hunching over the railing and using the balls of her feet to rock herself. “Ti – uh, a friend told me to focus on being his friend, to forget about asking him out, because that’s when I’d turn into a mess around him. And it was working! I still l-liked him, but I could actually talk to him. And then – then Lila said that, and the look on his face, and I just – it was like every nightmare I’ve ever had about being turned down, because I forgot that he didn’t actually know that I was crushing on him.”

“He doesn’t hate you for it,” Chat Noir says. “He’s flattered. Really. Or he wouldn’t have asked me to talk to you. So, um…what made your friend tell you that? If you don’t mind me asking?”

“I just realised a few things.” Marinette’s mouth twists in a way that doesn’t suit her at all, and Chat Noir would Cataclysm whoever she asked him to just to avoid seeing that distorted smile ever again. “Like when we got grouped with Lila for a class exercise and I got so competitive with her for Adrien’s attention. I didn’t like the person I was becoming just to get him to notice me. I realised that I was better off with him being a friend I could talk to instead of…you know, someone I couldn’t even function around. But I’m so glad I’m his friend. I still love how sweet and nice he is.”

“Sweet and nice. Sounds…generic.”

“Don’t be rude, kitty.” Marinette grabs the black-gloved hand resting on the metal railing. “I know everyone thinks he’s just some perfect little angel, but I know that he’s a sweet person! I know that when he really smiles, not his bland model smile, his eyes light up and his whole face smiles, not just his mouth! I know that he’s a lovely person when he could have turned out to be a mean jerk like Chloé – heck, I assumed that about him at first and I thought he was the one to put gum on my seat, until I realised that he’s everything Chloé isn’t! I know that he’s lonely and appreciates genuine friendship and heartfelt gestures over fake social status stuff, which is why I didn’t say anything when he thought the blue scarf I knitted for him was from his father, because I knew how much it meant to him to think it was from his dad!”

Chat Noir freezes, staring at Marinette with wide eyes and an open mouth. Is that really what Marinette thinks of him? Is that really how she sees him? And the scarf – the scarf that she’d knitted, it had been her, but she’d let him think it was from Gabriel just to make him happy, when any other person would have made sure he knew it was them? Dear lord. How has he never noticed just how amazing Marinette Dupain-Cheng is before now?

“You made that scarf?” is the first thing he says when he finally finds his voice again. Marinette squints at him.

“You’ve seen it?” she says. “Wait…do I –” She cuts herself off, no doubt to refrain from asking if she knows him. Oh, if only she knew.

“You do,” Chat Noir shrugs. “But that doesn’t matter. I…” He pauses for a second to gather his thoughts and recall what Ladybug had said about him on the night of their interview, when she’d confessed her own feelings for Adrien. “I know Adrien, okay? Really well. And he hates it when people say they’re in love with him, because they’re not. They’re in love with…the bits of information they’ve got that they blow up in their own minds as some perfect image of him. They’re the people at school and around Paris who chase him and scream for him to marry them and give them his babies.” He gives Marinette an odd grin and adds, “Sounds like you’re a great friend of his, though, if you like him for who he is rather than for what he can give you.”

“Yeah. And I’m happy being his friend. At least now I can talk to him without stammering like an idiot.”

“That sounds absolutely adorable, purrincess,” Chat Noir teases. Marinette whines and leans over to punch him on the shoulder.

“Don’t make fun of me!” she says. “That’s the last time I talk to you!”

“Okay, okay, sorry!” Chat Noir says, holding his hands up in surrender. “For what it’s worth, I think he loves having such a cute friend like you.”

“Chat!” Marinette scowls, and she’s so adorable right now that Chat Noir can’t even. His mind traitorously reminds him of the bed thing, but he shoves that aside because he’s not going to think about that. “I – you can’t just say something like that!”

“I can if it’s true,” Chat Noir smirks. He takes her hand and kisses the back of it, and Marinette’s face looks like it heats up by about a thousand degrees. Ah, so his dashing cat charms are finally getting to her. The implications of how irrationally happy he is about that thought are something that he’s very firmly going to suppress, just like his emotions around his father.

“I – thanks for listening to me,” she finally says. “You didn’t have to let me dump on you.”

“Sometimes, it’s good to let other people help you,” Chat Noir says and nudges her. “And you helped me a lot, princess, not just tonight but every other time you’ve let me hang out here. You’ve helped me realise some stuff I needed to hear. And you’ve graced me with your ameowzing compurrny when I was feline down.”

“One more pun and I’ll push you off this balcony,” Marinette threatens, though she’s also grinning. Good. Sure, Chat Noir’s a serial punner, but he only tends to chain them like that when he’s trying to lift someone’s spirits, and it looks like he’s succeeded with Marinette.

“Don’t you know that cats always land on their feet?” he says.

“Science is all about experimentation, right?”

“Then you should fall with me. It wouldn’t be fair to just make a super handsome superhero fall off a balcony.”

“But I’m not a cat,” Marinette says with a triumphant jab of her finger. Chat Noir pretends to clasp at his heart.

“The princess has defeated me!” he cries, and his heart soars when that wrenches a giggle out of Marinette. A few moments later, he holds his arms out, waiting until she leans in before wrapping them around her, squashing her in a tight hug. She melts into the embrace and hugs him back, and her smell of strawberries and vanilla invades his nostrils, involuntarily relaxing his whole body like he’s been rolling in catnip. “You know…Adrien’s actually told me about you before.”

“He has?” Marinette moans into his chest. “He’s probably told you all about what a weird loser I am –”

“Actually, quite the opposite,” Chat Noir says. “Didn’t you listen to me, princess? And if he did say that, I’d kick his butt for you. No, he’s told me that you’re…sweet. That you’re always there with a smile and a hug and some homemade pastries when he’s having a hard time at home. That you’re so brave that you stand up to Chloé when no one else will. That…you’re one of his dearest friends, and he really appreciates you, even if he didn’t have feelings for you in return.”

“Oh,” is all Marinette can say faintly as she pulls away just enough to be able to see his face. Her grey eyes are dark in the glow of the streetlights, piercing but soft, and for the briefest of moments, she reminds Chat Noir so much of someone, but the thought slips away before he can latch onto it. “Um…yeah, he did tell me that he valued me as a friend.”

“Then stop doubting yourself,” Chat Noir says. “He wouldn’t say something like that if he didn’t mean it.”

“You’re right. It’s just…I guess I needed to hear it from someone else to confirm it. I hate my brain.”

“Well, I happen to like it. And the girl it belongs to.”

“Oh, stop it, you mangy flirt,” Marinette says, swatting his chest. He breaks the hug so that they can lean against her balcony side-by-side, though he keeps his arm around her. “Thanks, Chat. I think I needed that.”

“Anytime, princess.” Chat Noir squeezes her. “At least I can report to Adrien that my mission was a success.”

“Yeah, that’s the only reason you came,” Marinette drawls. “I think –” The balcony rumbles before she can finish her sentence.

“Look out!” Chat Noir grabs Marinette in a bear hug and yanks her away from the railing at the sight of the gigantic freaking ice cream snowman that’s stomping through the streets. The snowman slowly turns its head to look at them, raising its hand to aim right at their huddle, but just as Chat Noir’s preparing his baton to deflect an incoming attack, the snowman lowers its hand and thumps away.

Huh. Okay, then.

“Lila!” the snowman calls. “The breaker of hearts! Glaciator will turn you into a work of art!”

“André?” Marinette gasps. Suddenly realising how tightly he’s holding her to him, Chat Noir clears his throat and drops his arms.

“The sweethearts ice cream maker? He isn’t looking too sweet right now,” he quips.

“I don’t think he’s very happy with Lila either,” Marinette says. “You’d better go protect her, kitty cat.”

“It’s like you don’t want me here,” Chat Noir sniffs. Marinette rolls her eyes.

“You think I want to imagine you taking Lila for a moonlit stroll through Paris? Just go do your job.”

“So long as you hide in your room and don’t come out till he’s beaten.”

Marinette salutes and heads for her trapdoor. But before Chat Noir can bound off, she grabs his tail.

“Chat Noir?” she says. “Thanks for cheering me up. It means more than you think.”

“Well, after all the times you’ve let me impawse on you, it was the least I could do,” Chat Noir says. Marinette’s face falls flat at his pun.

“Get out of here,” she deadpans. Chat Noir grins cheekily and leaps off after Glaciator to find Ladybug and protect Lila, and a part of him wishes that it was Marinette he got to take for a moonlit stroll instead of Lila. Because Marinette’s his friend. And because he’s mad at Lila. That’s exactly it. Man, he’s so in-tune with his feelings. Him, oblivious? No way.

[caddy-whump-us]

I need to whump Nikolai more. I love him and therefore want to whump him. But he’s a little harder to write than Etienne because he’s not as rebellious and difficult. Etienne’s just like “Come at me, bro!” and gets whumped for it whereas Nikolai reasons that being a little more agreeable means a little less pain. So while he hates his situation, he’s not about to cause himself more trouble. Now the aftermath of his captivity… But I digress. 

As requested here’s some angst with a soft fluffy middle.

(Honestly, I think the saddest thing here is realizing how puckish Nikolai used to be and how cowed and fragile and subservient he is now.)

---

There were voices coming from the room when Nikolai approached it. A postulant had brought him a message from Adrastos as soon as evening began to come on. And so, Nikolai had answered it.

The doors were shut. Nikolai slipped up to the door and pressed his ear against it. His master was almost certain to hear him (there were times when he felt sure his master could hear his heartbeat wherever he was in the house), but he still listened for a moment before he opened the door. 

There was a stranger in the room.

“Is the young man your son?” the stranger said.

“My ward. He came to me because he needed a firmer hand, given his age.”

“I see.”

“The house where he was raised--well, he was left to run a little wild,” Adrastos said. There was the sound of paper tearing; he was reading his letters. “I try to endure it, but he pushes me beyond my limits sometimes.”

Nikolai stood still, holding the doorknob. Do I?

There was the sound of metal against metal--not weapons, but more like tools, instruments, something small. Medical instruments--and the phrase floated up in Nikolai’s mind and his stomach tightened.

“Sir, excuse my saying so, but I would have preferred to have come somewhat earlier in the day--” the stranger was saying until Adrastos interrupted.

“Yes, but with my obligations, there was no other choice.”

There was a breath of silence. Then:

“Yes, sir. Of course, sir.”

“And you needn’t worry about the trouble of coming all this way. I’ll be certain to--”

Nikolai opened the door and stepped into the room, quiet, humble, head held low.

“--ah, there he is,” Adrastos said.

Nikolai bowed--first to his master, then to the stranger--and shook his hair out of his eyes as he stood up.

“He doesn’t seem as wild as I expected,” the stranger said, smiling. He wore a white smock and shiny buttoned boots. “Well, come here and sit down.” And he patted a stool set up in front of a dresser and mirrors.

Nikolai looked towards Adrastos, who waved him on and went back to reading his letter. Nikolai sat down and set his feet up on the rungs of the stool.

The room reflected in the triple mirrors was new, unfamiliar, more a dressing room than anything, and better suited for a lady, all soft colors and high windows and mirrors. This was a lady’s vanity, not a commonplace dresser. And certainly, up to now, the room and the furniture were unused (but that was nigh-undetectable: the whole room was cleaned and newly done too; there was still a faint smell of lemon and vinegar in the air). Though there was a sheet laid out on the floor under the stool. 

Nikolai raked his hair back again after looking down at the sheet and tried to look anywhere but at the mirror.

“There, that,” Adrastos said, pointing at him with the corner of the letter; he caught Nikolai with his hand still in the air. “It’s unbecoming. He looks like an urchin or a farmboy when he does that.”

Nikolai dropped his gaze and brought his hand down again, resting his knuckles against his mouth. He saw now that there was a cloth or a towel on the dresser with shears and combs and scissors and a razor laid out on it and he closed his eyes.

“We’ve been invited to the home of one of my relations and I just can’t take him when he looks like a street urchin.”

The barber scruffed Nikolai’s hair. “Well, I’ll tidy him up for you,” he said and took up the scissors. 

“Better you do it than I do it,” Adrastos said, looking at the letter in his hand.

The barber draped a towel around Nikolai’s shoulders and Nikolai looked down at his feet in their thin leather slipper-shoes and waited.

He’d never bothered with his hair particularly. He’d have it cut, then let it grow as it pleased (he kept it off his shirt collar at least), until his uncle scolded him for it. And Nikolai would roll his eyes, have it cut again, and then let it grow until his uncle scolded him again. It was as regular as any farming season: harvest, growth, harvest again. Though perhaps it was more like keeping sheep.

And perhaps he had been a little wild, running around in the woods and fields as he had. His aunt and uncle ignored him as often as not until they were appalled with him over something. Then he’d be punished until they tired of punishing him and he’d be overlooked again and he’d go back out to the woods and fields--which was how he had met Jonathan anyway.

Jonathan had liked his hair, though Nikolai disagreed: Jonathan was the one with the coppery-bronze hair that shimmered in the sunlight and Nikolai said his own hair was just black. Although when Jonathan had called him “funny little blackbird,” perhaps he’d not minded it quite so much.

That had been that autumn, before they gave each other their rings in the summer after.

Later in that same autumn, he’d set off of an afternoon to Jonathan’s house, down through the woods rather than by the lanes and roads--hardly a distance, only a few miles, though longer by the lanes.

He still walked the distance going the long way around, looking for rabbit snares along the way, snapping a fox trap shut with a rotten branch like a gamekeeper (the sight of a fox in a trap still rose up in his nightmares). The fields were mown and barren for the moment, all the late-summer work done. The smoke from the cottagers’ fires was blue against the trees until it turned gray against the sky. Someone was shooting in the distance--grouse, geese. He tramped through the leaves, turning them over and smelling mixed mold and spice.

Jonathan’s house (his family’s house, really) flashed gray and grand through the trees as the woods gave on to the parkland around the house. The grass wasn’t quite brown with frost on the rise up to the house, but stones of the house looked cold and the ivy along the back arbors was red from the frost.

Nikolai tripped up the hill on the grass rather than the path and slipped around to the back of the house, jumped the stone wall and trotted up the steps to the windows that looked onto the gardens. He passed them, low, crouched, but peering up into each one to see who, if anyone, was there. And, at last, in the library windows, he saw Jonathan. Propped up against the sill and balanced on the tips of his toes, he tapped at the window.

Jonathan started at seeing him there; Nikolai waved at him through the glass, grinning. Jonathan draped his book over the arm of his chair and came to push open the window. Nikolai set his elbows on the sill and pulled himself up a little closer.

“Let me in.”

Jonathan looked around the garden: empty, quiet. Gardeners weren’t needed for fading flowers. He took hold of Nikolai’s arms and Nikolai scrambled into the room. 

He hopped from the windowsill and into Jonathan’s arms and they stood there together for a moment.

Jonathan kissed him at his temple, then leaned back in close again. Smoke, cold, the spice of leaves. “I can smell the autumn in your hair.”

Nikolai caught his hand and held it; his fingers were cold and Jonathan’s hand was warm. “Come out with me. It’s chill, but it’s wonderful.”

“My mother has company.”

Nikolai looked around the room, then back at Jonathan. “You’re not with them now. Take your coat. Come out with me.”

Jonathan looked aside for a moment, then down into Nikolai’s eyes (bright, sparkling from the cold air). He sighed and smiled. “All right. Wait for me outside.”

He helped Nikolai back out the window again, looked over his shoulder for a moment, and closed the window again.

Nikolai leaned against the wall of the house--which was warmer than he had expected but then the sun had been beating on it all afternoon. He pulled his cap a little lower over his eyes, leaned against the wall, and waited.

Jonathan came back to the window, now wrapped up in a jacket and scarf and cap, and clambered down. He pushed the window as shut as he could from the outside.

“It’s hardly fair that you’re tall enough to climb in and out without help,” Nikolai said.

Jonathan pulled up the brim of Nikolai’s cap. “You have your ways of getting out and I have mine.”

Nikolai grinned again and took Jonathan’s hand in both of his. “Come to the woods with me. I don’t have anything to talk about. But come walk with me. There might be stags or a fox.”

They hurried down the hill and into the woods again, Nikolai sliding a few steps ahead of Jonathan. The house at their backs, they passed through the orderly parkland near the house and into the real woods. 

It was all well and good to carry on a romance with whomever one chose when one was young. But here, they were both going to university in a year--less than a year now. And that was quite old enough to have outgrown those freewheeling affairs. So it was only when they were in the woods, shuffling and crunching across the dead leaves, in between fading ferns, that they took one another’s hand and walked together. 

A hawk passed over, calling, and Nikolai pointed--

“Sir? How does this suit you?”

Adrastos answered, “Perhaps a bit…” He trailed off. He must have gestured.

Nikolai opened his eyes to see clots of his hair scattered on the sheet under the stool. The barber tipped his chin up with a comb and Nikolai closed his eyes before he could see himself in the mirrors.

--Evening came on fast in those cold days. They had toyed with the idea of starting a small fire, perhaps on the stones on the banks of the stream, but instead kept walking. 

They stopped at the top of a ridge and sat down under an oak. It kept its dead leaves for the winter and would lose them only in early spring and the dead leaves rattled. A crow called and another answered. They leaned against each other and held to each other’s hand. 

As evening came on, the light poured down from behind them and down into the hollow below them and fell golden on the next rise across the hollow. The trees cast shadows on each other, but the leaves below them were all caught in that gold light. 

Their shadows stretched out before them and down into the hollow and across to the other rise. Nikolai stood up and stretched his arms over his head, watching his shadow. It disappeared in the dark of the hollow, but stretched up the rise.

“I might be able to climb in that window if I were as tall as this.”

“You might be able to climb in my bedroom window if you were as tall as that.”

“And I would too, you know,” Nikolai said, turning to him. “I couldn’t stand up in your room, but I’d still come to your window. Every night.”

“And every morning?”

“Oh, yes, of course.” He sat down again. “And every afternoon.”

They looked across the hollow at the golden, liquid light. Nikolai turned to Jonathan and Jonathan leaned in to kiss him, once, softly. The tip of his nose was cold, but his lips were warm. 

Nikolai put his hands around Jonathan’s face and kissed him in return. And one kiss led to two, to three, to four. 

Jonathan tucked a lock of Nikolai’s hair behind his ear. “We should go back before it’s fully dark.”

--There was something cold on the back of Nikolai’s neck--no, that hadn’t happened that afternoon. That was the razor, that was the razor scraping on the back of his neck--

“I know. But just a moment more. It’s not dark yet.” And he smiled, crooked and sly.

The golden light rose up the trunks of the trees, turning from gold to rose. And only when it had slipped from the tops of the trees did they stand up and turn back towards the house--

“Oh yes, that’s far preferable,” Adrastos said. “He actually looks civilized and respectable now.”

Nikolai still kept his head low, hiding from the mirrors. The barber was shaking the towel out and brushing Nikolai’s shoulders off. 

“See the footman at the door on your way out,” Adrastos went on. “He should have something for you.”

“Thank you, sir.” The barber collected his tools and rolled them into a leather kit. At the door he turned back and gave a fussy bow before leaving.

The door shut. Adrastos came over and set his hands on Nikolai’s shoulders. “Look at yourself,” he said.

Nikolai kept his eyes turned down. Clumps and strands of his hair were scattered on the sheet. Some postulant would collect it and shake it out a window, perhaps. 

And then, perhaps, birds would find it and make nest of it. 

And, perhaps, Jonathan would find one and know where Nikolai was and find him--but that was fantastical nonsense.

“Look at yourself,” he said again, an order, a command.

Nikolai looked up to find himself reflected around the three mirrors. At least he’d not cried. Where his hair had once fallen as it pleased on either side of his face and down between his eyes, now it was cropped short around his ears (mercifully not scraped bald) with a rough forelock hanging over just to his eyebrows. He tugged at it, then touched the back of his neck: that was shorn.

(Jonathan’s hands in his hair. “Funny little blackbird.”)

“I like you looking the way I choose. That is how it should be, don’t you think?”

[syalmazhafira17]

Her Brother

Her grief of losing loving brother

TW: Mentions of death, drug addict, use of alcohol, slight mention towards s*ici*e

Word count: 2.566

A/N: Hii, finally I could post my writing in my Tumblr. I started a challenge for myself for writing 2.000 words at least every week and this is my piece of writing for November Week #2. I use some prompts for this writing, here is the list of the prompts and credits to tumblr blog posts that I took the prompts from, if you see your prompt used and wanted a credit, you can always chat me and I will give you credits. Thank you for reading!

XOXO,

Syalma

Thanksgiving, 2015.

Orange leaves piling up behind the house on the backyard. Falll has finally come, but her heart feels like the leaves, yellow, orange, falling from the tree, although they fall gracefully, but not her. Her heart felt like a haunted house, dusty and old. Her hair was a mess of strings. She can't cry anymore, she had ran out of her tears. She felt hollow on her soul, she just an empty flesh and bones.

His hands were the only safe place in the world for her now. The place where everything seems and feels fine, everything was perfect as she wished it was.

"When will you be home?" her voice trembled and cracked at the end. He coudl clearly tell her emotion, she has been with him for years.

"What's wrong petal?" he asked.

"He's gone, Carl. He has left," she broke down. Tears still not there, but her chest felt burst with emotions.

"Who- petal, I'll be home soon enough, okay? And we'll talk about it if you want to," Carl gulped.

"Thank you," she sniffled and hung up, buried her face on the pillow, that ironically smells like lemon, just like the smell of his other stuff she missed so much, but she couldn't bear the pain again. A knife felt twisted in her heart, and she growls in unphysical pain. Her hand squeezed her pillow harder, please take the pain away, she begs inside. She finally cried, with no tears, just some emotional heavy feelings being lifted off her chest, but it feels better, but not for long.

Her hand finds a way to her chest, squeezing the pendant of her necklace unconsciously.

"Don't lose it," he has said when he first gave it to her. "You have to remember me."

"I won't," she smiled brightly, not paying too much attention to the last sentence.

It was years ago, before only a month ago, she found out he got addicted to drink, and drugs. Not being the person she knew for years. Her head buried deep on her thoughts, the first time he show her what's love, care, and dream.

She was 4, he was 6, he already knew the family at such a young age. She didn't understand everything, but she already felt pain, and hatred. Her cheeck gone red, her face heated up, but she won't break, she was near for losing it, but she knew the consequence. She had enough for the day. She quietly crawls outside, towards the yard, where he waited. He immediately pick her up, wiping beads of tears that started to fall down quietly.

"Shhh...it's alright. It's okay. You are with me now," he whispered, holding his baby sister closer. Her chubby cheek mushed against his chest. She let out a soft whimper to let out the pain in her body. Her milk soft skin bruised here and there, hidden with dresses she wore, but that doesn't mean the pain gone. The only person knew it was him, he will always ice packed it, and kiss her, in susbtitution of parental sweet kiss.

For years it will be like those days. As they grow up together, they started to play along with the games. They would run through the bushes on the backyard and laughed as their parents chase after them, drunk, sober, but still dangerous. Their barrier will always be the wall on the backyard, when they were younger, they will always stop there, but when she hit 11, they started jump over the wall and ran to the street until it's midnight and their parents already head out to the bar.

One time, they almost got caught outside, on the street, they took the wrong turn and met with their drunk parents. He sees them first, immediately stopping her on the track and pull her to hide behind an abandoned building. And they got trapped there for an hour. They wouldn't mind, but she started to be scared. Feeling her body tensed, he crawled to the back of the building

"What are you doing?" she squeaked.

"Shhh, follow me," he instructed. He crawled to the little door towards the back of building. She looked over to where he meant it, before figuring out the thing.

"Is that even possible? It's too small," she shook her head

"Of course, silly. What do you think about your cool big bro?" he chuckled, pushing materials around him to make the hole turned bigger. Her eyes widen. Excitedly helping to push around and a door with the size of adult person opened.

"Where does this goes?" she asked.

"Shh," he shushed her, before speaking in random gibberish.

**"Who are you talking to?"**she asked curiously.

"I said shh," he softly shushed her again.

She stayed quiet, before she got in shock a group of leather jacket-ed boys coming around us.

"Who are they?" she said underneath her breath.

"The night's boys. My new friends," he smirks and talk to them in gibberish she couldn't understand. The boys nodded and smiles, and two of them letting out their hands towards her.

"They are pretty gentleman, take their hands," he warned her. She nodded, taking their hands and follow them walking through a small part of the town she never neither heard or seen before.

They walk pretty quietly, it was until the point that it was very odd for someone who walks that quiet. But she didn't comment anything and just following them. He didn't seem to care either, so that what makes her kept going and following them quietly.

They brought them to a small bunker, it smells odd, like rotten egg. Which wasn't something she would love, but she didn't mention it anyway, in fear that they will harm her. Although he said they aren't necessarily bad, but there's no reassurements that they won't harm her if she did anything.

"What makes you think they're safe?" she whispered under her breath once they reach the bunker and the boys that holds her hand lef them both alone on the lip of the bunker. "And what makes you think this is the best place?" she looked around.

"I have known their leader, and if we didn't let them lend a helping hand-" he turned his whole body around to meet her eyes. "we're doomed."

"But what's the point of bring us here?" she squeaked.

"Because we're playing this another round game of escaping from our drunk abusive parents. And you should be happy we have a place to stay rather sleep through the night ine that old building," he answered in relaxed state. The opposite of her freak out state, he seems so calm and knowing the situation they were in.

They stayed there for a whole ten minutes before a boy came up to them.

"Leader says you can stay here for the night," he simply says before walking away. Just about the time she wanted to ask where they should sleep or at least things like blanker or else, he stopped her on the track. Making her rethink of things, what should she expect them to have for sleeping? They're already in luck they won't eat them for late dinner/early breakfast.

They found a crook of bunker that was cleaner than the rest of the cold tiles. She cuddled herself while he stayed up brightly. Playing with a razor blade in his wrist without her noticing. He wanted nothing than escaping the reality, having drunken abusive parents, wandering the town in order to escape them at night, he just wanted a better life for him and her little sister he used to hate.

When he was a kid, he thought when his little sister was born, his abusive parents will chose her rather than him, and he will suffer alone while his sister took all of the caring loving parents whatsoever he craved so much. But when he first seen her walking with tears in her eyes and blood slid down her cheek, he knows that she will suffered the same, without love and care. So he started to learn to love her, giving her something they both supposed to recieve.

They went school, of course. Being a normal kid, when at night they turned to a complete rebel mode. They don't steal or get drunk underage, they just ran around the town, making friends with rebel, and knowing their lifestyle. They sometimes annoy pedestrians when they got bored, just whistling at them, and escape their parents once more. They played a little game to escape their parents every night, and everytime they didn't get caught, they will celebrate it by giving eachother a simple treat of a bite of cupcake, from the money they recieved for working with random people needed help around the town. But they needed more than that, they need enough money just to escape the town, or country maybe, to live and to be themselves without fear.

The morning quickly approached, without him having any sleep, and she woke up pretty quickly. He turned to her, gesturing to her they have to ran from the bunker as soon as the sun rise up. She nodded and balanced herself on her own two feet and ran outside with him. It was Sunday, so they walked and wandered around the town some more in the bright daylight.

"You know, maybe I should go out of town, look for money some more, and maybe we could live away from this town," he said.

"You mean, you will leave the town? Leaving me alone?" she stopped her track and looking to him deadly in the eyes.

"No-not like that. It's just a quick one, once I got some work and I'll bring you as well," he simply said.

"Where should I go for safe if you leave? What will happen to you?" she asked.

"I know a friend- he was very kind and I'm pretty sure his sister wouldn't mind having someone to share nail polishes," he nodded.

"That wasn't the point. I don't want to be away from you. Why can't you just bring me already?" she said in the edge of patience.

"That wasn't the point either. They were very lovely and kind. And I can't bring you because the money wasn't going to be enough for both of us," he said coldly.

"I don't care about money. You are my only family. No one's my family here except you," she said, tears started falling from her eyes.

"But he could be family, he could be a part of us with his sister," he said.

"But I don't want to," she said.

"Well, you should, if you want to live better than these," he said.

"I don't care about these! I just needed you to be around, not far from me, that's what you did every day in our lives!" she fought.

"YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH IT TORTURES ME! YOU DON'T KNOW!" he yelled. She was in shock, but he didn't noticed that. "It wasn't easy."

"Oh- you thought I'm just a doll? Yeah, fine, okay. You can leave! Leave this town! Never come back! I will find a way to not starve myself and not being YOUR TORTURER!" she yells back and ran away.

He froze in his place. Realizing what he has done. "Stop! Willa! Stop!" he yanked forward and ran to catch her. But she ran faster than him, and he never found his Willa again. She escapes out of his grip just like that.

The next day, he finalize his choice. If he could get successful, he could have the chance to meet his sister. And maybe he could get his wish out of the town. So he left using the leftover money he had in his pocket, and he left with a train out the town, without saying goodbye to her.

She quietly watched him get to the train with only a dream and wish from behind a wall in the station. She wanted to ran and hug him, saying sorry, gave him a proper goodbye. But she doesn't have the courage to do that. So she just stood there, hidden, with tears streaming down her face. Her knees trembling and she doesn't even sure if she will be strong enough to hold her weight. She slides down and kneeling on the cold floor underneath, while the train that her brother took already drove away. Now she doesn't have someone to seek comfort with.

She walked around the town like a ghost. She knew exactly this 'friend' her brother meant. A house just down the block, not a really big house, they only live together for two, even the house enough for 4 people, because their parents mostly doing their jobs outside the country. With trembling hands and salty tears on her lips, she raised her hand and pressed the bell.

A girl around 20 years old opened the door. She has long dark hair, and she wasn't even shocked seeing the teen in front of her parents' house. The girl opened her arms widely and she just broke there inside her warm and welcoming arms.

"He really left, doesn't he?" the girl asked softly. She nodded.

"I'm sorry," the girl said.

"Nothing's to be sorry about," she croaked. The girl smiled.

"You can live here for the rest of your life," the girl softly said.

And she lives there for years. Living her life together with the girl and her brother, they tried to contact her brother for years, until a bit over a month ago, their hard work paid off.

They got his number. When she already engaged to her brother's friend. They finally connected. On their last phone call, he promised somthing she never got. Something he broke.

"Hello lil' sis," his voice heard at the end of the line.

"Hi," she held back tears of happinness.

"I heard you've been engaged to Carl? See, he will be a part of us eventually," he giggled.

"Yeah, you were right years ago. We never said proper see you later on the train station," she said.

"Yes, I'm sorry. But I'll be home soon, seeing my lil' sis got married with my friend," he sighed.

"I missed you," she croaked.

"I missed you too. Been looking for these kind of day when you just talk to me," he said.

"My wedding will be in a month," she said. "Think you could come a few weeks earlier? Want to bought wedding gown."

"Yeah, anything else?" he giggled.

"Think you could stop working outside the town for me?" she asked.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked.

"Yeah, you could work around here, or on Carls' even," she shrugged.

"Of course," he laughed. Oh how she missed the laugh. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She smiled before hanging up. But he never came tomorrow, the next day, or else. She never met him again.

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Alonso’s Legen-Wait for it-Dary Dating Rules

Note: Inspired by HIMYM’s Barney Stinson’a dating rules and theories as seen in these videos. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IWQF9fuQ2pA#, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xDD5nv3Phzg&t=9s, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=m9vXJ4HB2fU, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cg62TySYvk https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iKAHEZRJUUU&t=80s

Marzel and Alonso are basically my new brotop even though they have never met. Thanks to Lady B for looking this over, and @missnobodynobodius and @shasta627 for completely agreeing with me that Alonso = Barney and encouraging me to do all this. 

“Ah Prince Marzel, just the man I was looking for!” A floppy-banged prince who seemed to be about his age slung his arm across the sirena prince’s shoulder, nearly jostling him off his chair.

The scene was at the palace of Paraiso, one of the most luxurious and extravagant palace Marzel had ever seen his life. In fact it was the most. The walls were ceiling to floor golden emitting bright light which unfortunately blinded him everytime he glanced to his sie. This had the embarrassing effect of him tripping more so than usual when he walked.

He had been getting pretty good with his land legs and he had improved enough to play frisbee without falling on his face but he had a feeling that the royals at this year’s retreat were not seeing that progression.

“Who are you?” Marzel made an effort to smile politely but the guy was taking up too much personal space and seemed to have forgotten his greeting in favor of admiring himself in the blindingly golden dinner plates.

“Wha-yes, I’m Prince Alonso, heir to the Royal Throne of Cordoba!” The guy declared with a flourish and paused, obviously expecting some sort of recognition or perhaps applause.

Marzel looked helplessly to the other side of the table where Elena was in deep conversation with her royal wizard, Mateo and the host of the retreat, Princess Valentina and he couldn’t see his sister anywhere.

“Hi?” Marzel gave a weak wave and grimaced at his high-pitched voice, he coughed, “I mean hello.”

“Heh, you really are new to the land, aren’t you?” Prince Alonso sniffed once seeing that Marzel had nothing else to say.

Marzel was about to react defensively to his tone but Alonso leaned toward him conspiratorially, “I see that Elena hasn’t told you about me. I don’t blame her, there are so many brilliant ways to describe me and my looks and my awesome deeds, she couldn’t think of where to begin. It doesn’t matter. Now in the past, I have been accused of being a little bit self-absorbed and just a tiny teeny bit lazy. But no more. I’m turning over a new leaf. And being a new kind of man, I am helpful!”

Marzel didn’t understand why Alonso was telling him all of this so he nodded blankly and paused again seeing that Alonso was waiting for him to say something.

“Congratulations on turning over a new leaf. That’s very...mature of you.” Alonso was still staring at him expectedly and it started to dawn on Marzel what Alonso might be waiting for, “And I’m fine. I don’t need your help. Elena has already helped me.” “Yes, I’m sure Princess Elena has helped you with basic stuff like ruling and social etiquette and blah blah blah. But she hasn’t taught you about life, has she?” Alonso raised a knowing eyebrow.

“Life? I don’t need help with life. I haven’t died yet. I think I can handle it.” Marzel brushed Alonso’s arm off his shoulder.

“You’ve fallen twelve times walking down a hallway.” Alonso pointed out, putting his arm on Marzel again.

“It’s too bright here, how can anyone see?” Marzel grumbled.

“What advice I have to offer, isn’t any advice Princess Elena or anyone else can give. It is bro advice. From now on, I pledge my support to you as a bro and a wingman as you will be mine-” “I haven’t agreed to this.” Marzel protested.

“-Do you know how to get out of a date that you don’t want to be in?” Alonso abruptly asked.

“...No?” Marzel answered. Admittedly, he had never been on a date since he had been busy with royal training and the fact that anyone who dated him had to uphold the standards fitting for sirena royalty. Though there were many fish in the sea, he hadn’t found one that fit that standard yet. But he wasn’t going to admit that.

“It’s called the Lemon Law. In Cordoba, we have a law that if someone buys an item, let’s say a lemon, from a street cart and finds that it is a rotten lemon, the person can return it. Same goes for dates. This applies this to dates. A person has five minutes within the date to decide whether it continues for the rest of the night or not.” Alonso smiled smugly at his knowledge.

“Wow, that’s- I didn’t know.” “That’s why you need me.” Alonso sipped his recently poured drink.

Marzel rubbed his neck as he thought about what Alonso was proposing. It was true that he didn’t know much about land culture beyond what his mother told him from her fragmented memories. And he knew less about girls and romance in the dating world. 

He could ask Elena but it seemed that she was in the same boat as he was dating-wise, ie. no dates just the kingdom. Besides Alonso seemed to know what he was talking about and he kinda liked the idea of having a “bro” as he kept saying.

Marzel clasped hands with Alonso, “I’ll do it. Let’s be bros.”

“Yes!” Alonso crowed, “This is gonna be legen-wait for it-dary! Legendary!”

“Where are we going?” Marzel stumbled s Alonso grabbed his arm to drag him to the bar-room.

“To get you a suit. One of the most important things to attract a woman is a suit. So, let’s suit up!”

_______________________________________________________________________“Why can’t you clean the dishes? I did it yesterday.” Marisa crossed her arms stubbornly.

“Because..just because..I’m older than you!” Marzel retorted.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Marisa rolled her eyes.

As guests and royals at the retreat, technically they didn’t have to wash the dishes. But their mother said they should take this as a chance to learn about chores on land, and reminded them that she had washed dishes when she was a human. It was about honoring their heritage which they both were sure was some sort of trick because their mom had complained about their laziness in underwater chores.

Marzel considered his words before talking again. Yesterday, after confirming their “bro-lationship” with a suit fitting and celebratory drinks, Marzel had asked Alonso for advice on his problems with dating and girls, even his sister since Alonso said arguing with girls was the same with all of them, no matter the relation.

Alonso had given him the exact argument he should use and he needed to remember how it was said.

“Hmmm sounds annoying. Chores are the worst. So menial. That’s stuff for servants to do like rookie, here.” Alonso pointed to Gabe who was on the other side of the bar with Manuel.

Gabe looked over at them and glared at the arrogant prince, “I don’t do dishes, and I’m not a rookie. I’m the captain of the guard.” “I’m sure you will be soon.” Alonso waved him off.

“I am already.” Gabe corrected, stalking up to them but Alonso ignored him in favor of continuing their conversation.

“Now here’s what I would do if I were in your position. I’d come to the room and she’d leap into my arms and we make out. Her small body leaning against mine, her lips just..”

“Dude, that’s my sister!” Marzel stared at him in horror.

“I wasn’t saying what you should. Just what I would do in that situation. If I was there, we would be getting it on. Not that I would in real life, a bro never touches another bro’s sister unless she makes the first move.” “Just continue.” Gabe hissed through clenched teeth, seeing Marzel’s eye vein throb distressingly.

“Okay fine. We eat dinner and Marisa says, “Sweetie, are you gonna wash that?” Now I say or you should say, “I’m glad you bring that up, Marisa. No, and here’s why.” She gets on my lap, “I know you don’t like a dirty sink. But does that make it my job to clean it? If one day I look up on the living room ceiling and decide I want a replica of my royal portrait up there, would it be your job to paint it?

She says, “No, of course not.”

I say, “Exactly. So darling, by the same logic, if you don’t like a sink full of dirty dishes, shouldn’t it be your job to clean it?”

Then Marisa would understand the reason behind it all, and agree, “Thank you for explaining that. I get so confused.”

“You’re kidding me.” Gabe interrupted, laughing.

Marzel understood the flaws with the argument since they were arguing over whose turn it was to help the kitchen staff, not the fact that they disliked looking at a dirty dishes. However, he was on his third glass of champagne so he had a warm, giddy feeling assuring him that if he said it right, Marisa would see reason just as Alonso said she would.

“Let me finish…” Alonso looked disdainfully at Gabe, “Once I have her attention, it’s time to bring out the big guns. “Look, Marisa I love you. But with the little energy I have after the meetings, I want to shower you with love, not wash some silly dishes.”

And Marisa says, “Oh you’re right, Alonso, you’re always right. I’ll do the dishes from now on. Right after I do this.”

So then the lights dim and she turns around and dances for me. Her butt’s firm, round…”

“Are you going to hit him or should I?” Gabe asked, but Marzel was too busy envisioning an afternoon not having to help with the dishes.

The time had come.

“Marisa, I’m not doing the dishes and here’s why.”

Marisa looked at him irritability. Staring at her, Marzel lost his train of thoughts. The next part of Alonso’s vision called for her to sit on his lap and that was just gross. He remembered that Alonso had been saying his argument had to be modified since they were siblings and now all he could think of were the disgusting phrases Alonso had used followed by the even worse image of Marisa doing them.

It had made so much sense when Alonso said it last night, what was wrong?

He manfully tried to scrape out the appropriate parts of the argument to use and came up with this,“I’m not doing the dishes and here’s why. You don’t want to dishes, but it’s like if I wanted our baby pictures on the wall..I-I-I mean ceiling. All our baby pictures and family pictures painted on this ceiling. Would you do that? No I mean, first. Let me start over. It’s not job to do the dishes because.. Um I? Dance for me. Eww no. I don’t uh-”

“HUH?” Marisa stared at him as if one half become a malandro and he sprouted three more heads. Just a face of confusion and disgust.

“I-ugh” Marzel stuttered then hung his head in defeat, “I’ll do the dishes.”

_______________________________________________________________________“Are you sure you’re reading the map correctly? Give it to me. I’m an excellent navigator, I was the first one in my team to orient us to win the scavenger hunt.” Princess Valentina sighed as she and Marzel wearily walked down the side of one of Paraiso’s lush mountain ranges.

“Here,” Marzel handed it off to her miserably.

It was midnight and what started out as innocent date led to them walking on the side of the mountain for hours, and he was pretty sure it was the same side of the mountain. They weren’t even going around it, just back and forth.

He really wished he never accepted this date.

He didn’t dislike Valentina exactly, it was just that she was too..much for him. She talked so much, usually about herself, always pointing out how Paraiso was the best, best in chocolate, best in sports, best in everything.

With all her talk about how the best she was in everything, he never would have thought she would have interest in him since he wasn’t the best in walking much less second best in subjects..behind her, of course.

But Alonso had pointed out that when she entered the bar, her eyes had went straight towards him and her eyebrow raised before she quickly flounced out followed by her guard, Manuel.

That-the eye contact and eyebrow raise-was a clear sign she was interested in him, which was only confirmed a few days later when Valentina invited him to have a talk about the personal Coronado-Paraiso treaty.

“Personal Coronado-Paraiso romance!” Alonso high-fived him when Marzel told him. Marzel didn’t want that at all. It was too late to back out of the date without potentially offending her, but thankfully, Alonso gave him advice to prevent a girl friend from becoming a girlfriend.

“You see Marzel. The rules for girls are like the rules for gremlins.” “Gremlins?” Marzel never heard of such a creature and wanted to ask but Alonso plowed ahead with his advice as usual.

“Yes, gremlins. Rule number one: Never get them wet. Aka never let them shower at your place.”

Marzel thought that eliminated almost all the sirenas but then reasoned that these rules must be specific only to mortal girls.

“Rule number two: Keep them away from sunlight. Aka don’t ever see them during the day.”

Rule number three: Never feed them after midnight. Aka she doesn’t sleep over, and you don’t have breakfast.” 

“What about brunch? Is brunch cool? Marzel asked. Marisa had recently introduced him to brunch through Elena and he rather enjoyed the idea of having a snack between breakfast and lunch.

Alonso looked at him in disgust, “No. Brunch is never cool.”

In an effort to keep things platonic, Marzel requested to have the meeting at night since he never seen the moon rise in Paraiso before which Valentina eagerly grabbed on to the idea to lead up to Paraiso’s highest peak and show him the best view.

The date was not romantic in the slightest way. Valentina had kept things professional and they discussed how trade would be conducted between their two kingdoms. 

Marzel had figured this platonic nature was due to the nighttime setting just as Alonso said it would and was relieved when the meeting finished at 9 without any sentimental overtones.

It was when they left that things went downhill literally. Valetina said they must have taken a wrong turn at the waterfall or somewhere because they had been walking for three hours and there was no sign of the valley or the palace and the nighttime heat was covering them like a smothering blanket. As Princess Valentina proudly told him when he said it didn’t feel cold at all up in the mountains, “Paraiso has one of the warmest climates in the Ever realm. No one suffers from hypothermia or frostbite here.” “Just potential heatstroke” Marzel thought darkly to himself as felt sweat dripping from his forehead down the bridge of his nose.

“Marzel.” Valentina panted, fruitlessly fanning herself with her hand, “Can you hand me some of the water?”

Marzel was about to hand her the water when he remembered Alonso’s rule about not getting the girl wet.

Marzel clutched the water bottle from the picnic basket she had brought, and promptly poured it all over himself, “Sorry. Sirena, you know. I need more water to compensate for being on land for so long.”

“Oh okay.” Valentina nodded understandingly which made Marzel immediately feel bad for his lie. Her hair which had been put in her usual ponytail had frizzed out and bigger thanks to the humidity and her face seemed to have gone pale from exhaustion.

They walked for what seemed like miles but must have been a few minutes when they crashed through a brush to see the palace.

“Yes!” They cried simultaneously. They would have run to their destination, but tiredness made their feet drag oh so slowly on the manicured lawns of the Paraiso palace.

“Marzel, do we have any food left in the basket?” Valentina asked weakly.

Marzel frowned, “No.” There had been a few apples left in the basket but he had thrown them out after their meeting in compliance with the third rule of making sure she didn’t eat after midnight.

He took another good look at the princess who seemed slumped, dejected and near collapse.

“You don’t look yourself, do you want me to carry you?” Marzel approached her, gently taking hold of her shoulder.

“No I can handle it” Valentina slurred and fainted onto the grass.

Adrenaline took over Marzel’s body, tiredness forgotten, he picked the princess up in a bridal carry and raced her over to the palace’s front door where Manual opened it, gasped, grabbed Valentina out of his arms and took her to the infirmary.

Marzel paced restlessly, guilt gnawing at his stomach. Who cares if she wanted a date with him? He should have let her have the food and water! It was all his fault that this happened-

The royal physician opening the door for visitors interrupted Marzel’s guilt-ridden reverie. Manual pushed Marzel out of the doorway in his rush to get to the princess.

Manual tenderly lifted Valentina’s face towards his as she slowly opened her eyes, and smiled, “Oh Manual, I’m fine. Just a little dehydration. I’m not going to die.”

“I was so worried.” Manual murmered in a choked up voice and swept her up in a deep, full kiss.

“You’re dating?” Marzel meant to only say it in his head, but it came out in an awkward squawk.

The couple turned to him, Valentina contedly resting her head in the crook of Manual’s neck.

“Yes, we don’t like to show it off in front of everyone but we are very much in love.” Valentina answered, rubbing her nose with her guard.

“She’s my shining light, and I’m her shining knight.” Manual agreed.

“I could never lay my eyes on someone else.” Valentina mused.

But she did---wait. Marzel thought back to the bar. The guards had been behind him and Alonso. She must have sent that eye contact and eyebrow to Manual.

This whole thing had truly been a Coronando-Paraiso treaty meeting. With a groan and Marzel face-palmed himself.

_______________________________________________________________________”Do it. Do it, Naked man!” Alonso cheered as he passed by Naomi’s room.

“I will. I will. Just go already.” Marzel shoved Alonso away from the door to the room.

“What pose are you doing?” Alonso called

“Just go!” Marzel yelled at him and shut the door.

Marzel was going on his first official date, where it was certain that both people knew it was a date, with Naomi who was visiting Paraiso to pick up some diplomatic scrolls and gift Valentina with the Avaloran chocolate that Elena accidentally forgot.

Though Naomi had been hesitant of him at first, particularly after how she acted the last time she saw him, but after they played olaball together and she taught him some sail knots, he asked her out.

They agreed for it to be a friendly date. Unlikely to be serious, more like two friends hanging out with potential for kisses among other things.

Alonso had been in favor for ‘the other things’ part and urged him to do ‘The Naked Man’.

At first Marzel was hesitant but another part of him was very curious as to how it would play out especially since Naomi said this date wasn’t supposed to be serious, just fun.

And from the way Alonso put it, ‘The Naked Man’ was the best way to amp fun.

It was yet another technique Alonso had explained the night they became bros.

Alonso clinked his glass against his as he explained the brilliance of the naked man on a friendly date.

“It goes like this. You’re on a first date, you’ve had a few drinks. You go up to the room, once she leaves the room. You strip naked and wait. When she comes back, she laughs and is so charmed by your confidence and bravado, she sleeps with you. Boom!” “No way that works.” “Two out of three times. I would not lie to you mi amigo. Two out of three times. Which is why it is important to pick your pose to display your naked man in.” And so he began to display the poses.

“There’s the Superman.

The Capitan.

The ‘Oops I didn’t see you there.’

The Thinker.

The Lounge.

The Fencer.

The Gymnast who stuck the Landing.”

He had laughed at Alonso at the time just as Gabe had when he left them, shaking his head.

But now he really was going to do it.

Naomi had gone into her guest room to find the fiddle her mom had been teaching her to play while Marzel stood outside. Now he crept in and stripped and after much deliberation chose to do the ‘Capitan’ in honor of his sea roots.

Naomi entered, “Now promise you won’t laugh. I’ve been practicaack!”

“Ta-da!” Marzel showed proudly.

Naomi gasped,her face turned red and she exploded, “Oh my GOD! What is the matter with you! Get out! I can’t believe-ugh Sirenas! GET OUT!”

Marzel looked at her in horror. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Why wasn’t she charmed and laughing?

He face burned as he realized how bad this situation was and how he appeared. He wanted to explain but he could clearly see this wasn’t the time for it and tried for desperation.

“Wait-I-my cloth..”

“OUT YOU CREEP! You sick son of-” Naomi yelled.

“Wait! My suit is very expensive...”

“I’m going to call the guard on you.” Naomi threw a pillow at him which he promptly grabbed to shield his private parts and ran as fast as he could to his room.

He slammed his door closed,highly embarrassed, Marzel sank to the ground with a groan, “Why did my first time have to be that third time out of three for ‘the naked man’ to fail?

_______________________________________________________________________“Ready?” Marzel asked his sister as they entered the bar-room where Alonso was flirting with the bartender.

“I got your back. You will be avenged.” Marisa intoned menacingly with an evil cackle.

“Don’t do the laugh.” Marzel shook his head.

“It’s my evil laugh.” Marisa pouted but did as he motioned and sasheyed toward Alonso in the slinky purple dress she borrowed from Elena.

“Hello” Marisa purred, exaggeratingly fluttering her eyelashes that made Marzel think she had something in her eye, “Wow. I have to admit, there’s nothing sexier than a man in a suit, and you..are sexier than most.”

Alonso did a double-take before he formed a slow smile, looking her over. “And I appreciate your appreciation, and” His lips curved to a wicked grin, “Your sexiness.”

Marzel saw that Marisa pursed her lips, a sure sign that she was trying to hold back a laugh. He cringed but the laugh never came. Instead she continued with their plan.

“Is your suit cashmere?” “Cashmere. No, this is handspun. The fibers are less than twelve microns thick.” Alonso scoffed and gulped as Marisa began to feel up his arms.

“Twelve microns.” Marisa gushed breathlessly, “I love a tiny fiber.”

“You’re in luck. Mine’s the tiniest.” Alonso bragged, “And the more you touch it. The softer it gets.” Marisa giggled and Marzel felt himself being jostled by the sudden appearence of Mateo, Elena, Gabe and Naomi.

“Is it happening? Is he falling for it?” Naomi asked eagerly.

Elena had come to yell at Marzel after his awful date with Naomi and he had confessed all the things that happened after he had followed Alonso’s advice. Elena had calmed down a little bit when she told them that, understanding where such a crazy idea came from and explained to him that while Alonso was trying to turn over a new leaf, he had a long way to go and was not the best role model to follow or a good advice-giver. 

“I realize that, trust me.” Marzel blushed sheepishly, “I just don’t get how it all worked for him and not me. How did I mess it all up?”

“Well like I said before. It’s best to be yourself. And if it makes you feel better. I don’t think those techniques would have worked for everybody, not even him. All of that is an awful way to seduce a girl. Bragging about yourself? Just sleeping with them without thinking of their feelings or being serious? He might have been just messing with you.” Marzel shrugged, “Maybe he should see how it feels to be a failure with a woman?” Elena looked at him curiously but a mischievous glint was present in her eyes, “Aren’t you bros? Bros don’t get revenge on other bros.” “This isn’t revenge. This is just a lesson. I think I need your help.” Marzel said.

Elena had been on board with getting revenge and apparently so was the rest of Team Avalor, even Naomi after she heard from whom ‘the naked man’ originated from. Marzel originally had wanted Elena to flirt with Alonso but apparently he was aware of her relationship with Mateo, and Naomi refused to do it, citing some other incident where he tried to flirt with her.

That left Marisa to do the job even though it rankled him to see Alonso acting like a lecherous guy to his sister. Marisa, on the other hand was all too excited to play the part of evil seductress. It was a little unnerving.

“Yes, shush.” Marzel motioned for them all to duck lower behind the door and the bar as they discreetly watched the action unfold.

Marisa continued to girlishly giggle, “I was actually looking for you. But there was such traffic in the ballroom. I was at the inter-sex-tion from ballroom and the dining room and I had only a few sex-onds to get in an opening in the crowd. And then people start yelling at me to move over and it totally sex-cked, but I can’t move because a man tripped on one of the tropical bird’s sex-crement.”

Alonso was breathing heavily and gulping as he listened to Marisa’s purposefully innuendo, “G-go, go on.”

“Hmm” Marisa looked him over, and did what Marzel was assuming to be her version of a sexy pout but looked more constipated, “Let’s go my room.”

Alonso nearly tripped over his feet as he and Marisa speedwalked through the halls with the rest on their heels from a safe distance.

The door was open just a crack so they all could press their ears up against it and hear the ensuing conversation.

“Alonso, you should know.When I get into bed with a man, my body becomes a machine. Fueled by desire and lust, and a singular hunger to satisfy my lover’s every carnal need.” Marisa sighed, her voice practically oozing with moans and breathiness.

“Such a shame we all have to go home tomorrow. So let’s go like it’s the last night we’ll ever see each other.” Alonso growled.

“Yes, yes. Well, good night.” Marisa walked out the door.

“Wh-What!” Alonso came rushing out behind her, “Why are you leaving? I thought your body was going to become a machine fueled by desire, lust and a singular hunger to satisfy my every carnal need?” Alonso’s voice cracked at the end.

“Yes. But no. I don’t sleep with people who think I would dance for them after agreeing to do the dishes.” Marisa raised an eyebrow in his direction, crossing her arms with a triumphant smile.

Alonso froze dumbfounded, and soon realized he was in the presence of a small crowd, all trying their best to muffle their laughter.

“Huh-I-I I’m so confused.” Alonso muttered.

Marzel took pity on him and slapped on the back, “This is called a lesson.” “For what?” Alonso shrugged Marzel’s off of him.

“The dishes. The gremlin rule. The Naked Man.” Naomi listed.

“Oh, I-okay that was good advice.” Everyone gave him a look, “I’ll admit the results that happened to Marzel were pretty funny, but I wasn’t setting him up I swear! All of that advice was from a desire to help you. We’re bros.” Alonso protested.

Marzel smiled and grabbed Alonso in a side-hug. He sounded sincere and considering what Elena had told him of his upbringing, it may have been true that all those things worked for him. If not less so because of his looks and charm and more so for being the crown prince.

“We’re bros.” Marzel confirmed, “I’m your wingman and your mine. I am just never listening to your ridiculous rules or advice on dating ever again.”

“Not even about the Hot-Crazy Scale or the Three Day Rule? The Three Day Rule is an unofficial social rule.” Alonso insisted.

“Even that.” Marzel said and so arm in arm the two bros parted ways until the next adventure. 

[atomi-cat]

(1P/2P Ask)

*She looks back at Joe, her eyes wide with shock* …“friend”? …you…really do…consider me your “friend”?

*She’s rendered speechless and then starts trembling. Before he could respond, however, she bursts into laughter. It starts off as a low, quiet chuckle before it ascends into a loud, breathy cackle.*

OHHH…YOU ROTTEN BASTARD…calling someone like me “friend”…even after all the trouble I’ve caused ye… Ye even trust a young lass…YOUNGER than ye…who partakes in mischief and can summon bats and other random oddities out of her hat to tell me what’s really been on yer mind this whole time you’ve been near that lemon-flavored brand of jackass!

*Her voice becomes loud and singsong* THAT IS QUITE THE FRIGGIN’ IRONIC PLOT TWIST, LEMME TELL YE… THE EVER-SO PROTECTIVE BIG BRO JOE DECIDES TO BEFRIEND THE INFAMOUS GODDESS OF CHAOS JACK! WHAT AN INTERESTING COMBO!

*She laughs harder as she doubles over, gripping her sides. It’s gotten to the point where it’s as if she had gone completely insane. Maybe she had. Who knows?*

*Her laughter then subsides the instant she firmly hugs Joe without warning. Her top hat falls off as she does this, but she ignores it. Though he can’t see her face, her tone becomes mellow and bittersweet, as if she was never laughing herself mad just a moment ago.*

…awh, dammit, Joe…if yer really gonna call me “friend”, at least please don’t feel like yer burdening me by turning to me to help you. …and no, you can’t tell me “it’s not necessary” because I’ve said the same rotten thing before. I know that trick… Sometimes ye just gotta let it out.

*She turns her head, her head still resting on his torso as she continues to embrace him with a wry smile on her face. Unknowingly, she begins to sway.*

…what am I gonna do with ye, Joe? I’ve vented to you before and you’ve listened and helped me…can’t I do the same for you too somehow? –Jack Anon

-Joe remained silent for a while as he watched you shouting and laughing.Joe continued to say nothing as you hugged him.-

Joe: “....I don’t know, though I suppose you’re probably right. About how sometimes it’s best to just talk about it. Even though I don’t really like it.”

[supercultshow]

Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Mixed Reviews” with a minor in “Turn into a mortal and your haircut is free!”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the sequel to 1995’s Supercult Classic Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!

Look, I think we can agree that the first Mortal Kombat film was fun but was too much of a fence-sitter of a film. Not only was it a PG-13 film based on the most notoriously violent game in video game history, but it had about as much plot and visual effects polish as the game it was based on. It was neither good enough for film audiences nor extreme enough for fans of the video game. Nevertheless, the film made bank. From a modest budget of $18 million, Mortal Kombat grossed $122 million worldwide. The Gods of Hollywood demanded a sequel and, well, I think you’ll be glad to hear that the 1997 sequel did absolutely nothing to solve the problems of the original. It just made more.

“This time there is no tournament. This time there no rules. This time there is only Annihilation.”

Hey look! It’s that one guy! The lemon-flavored ninja, right? Didn’t he die in the last movie?

CAN YOU DIG IT??

Hey look! It’s that one girl! The strawberry flavored kunoichi, right? See the joke is that you all look the same with masks on.

Me and my shit-eating grin are gonna take over the world! What’chu gonna do about it, punk?

“Yeahhh! I’m a centaur! YEEEAAAHHH!”

Eww, is this really what the 90s looked like?

Behold the horror of every 90s mom at Halloween!!

Okay, everyone line up and stare at the blue screen.

So, in the game Jax’s arms are just robot arms. In the movie they’re more like exo-skeleton enhancements. So basically he’s wearing robo-sleeves with no shirt, which is supposed to be LESS dumb than robot prosthetics.

Released in 1997, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation steals the plot from Mortal Kombat 3 and the character roster from Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3, hoping to cater more to fans of the video game. Producer Lawrence Kasanoff who produced the previous Mortal Kombat film and would later go on to write, direct, and producer Foodfight! (Yes, THAT Foodfight!) said that he was trying to make the film “even more spectacular than the first movie… Our theme for the sequel is to shoot for more—more fights, more special effects, more Outworld, more everything.” It’s true. The film has more of pretty much everything. More fights strung together with little to no connecting plot. More dropped plot threads and character arcs such as Liu Kang’s partially completed Animality trials. More characters uttering more nonsense one-liners with more campy melodramatic flair than you have ever heard in a single film! And even more shoddy special effects and matte effects that make you question what decade the film was made in. Oh yeah, and the damn thing is still a pansy PG-13!

Many of the original cast from the first Mortal Kombat film reprise their roles including Robin Shou as Liu Kang, Talisa Soto as Kitana, and uh…no wait, that’s it. Nearly everyone attached to the first film could see where this whole ‘Movies based on Video Games’ thing was headed and escaped with what little of their careers were still intact. Says here that Linden Ashby was asked to return as Johnny Cage but then turned it down after reading the script. Even our boy Christopher Lambert, from Supercult Classic Highlander, who played Raiden in the original film jumped ship and had to be replaced with James Remar, an arguably better actor who is given even less to work with script-wise than his predecessor. The overhauled cast had to not only learn how to somehow turn dialogue copy-pasted from a bad cartoon show into drama while sprinting through dozens of fight scenes. The only thing going for it cast-wise might be that behind the scenes working as the stunt double for Robin Shou was a 20-something Tony Jaa, veteran Muay Tai fighter since childhood and future star of Supercult Classic Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior,  the most real martial arts film ever.

But let’s get real: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation was panned by both critics and fans of the video game. It is one of the lowest rated movies on IMDB with a score of 3.8 out of 10 right alongside Jaws 3-D (1983), Dungeons & Dragons (2000), and Supercult Classic Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987). It has a staggering 2% on Rotten Tomatoes and even video game programmer and Mortal Kombat co-creator, and the original voice of the Motal Kombat announcer Ed Boon hated the film’s guts. But worst of all, it barely made its money back, grossing only a third of the box office returns of its predecessor on nearly double the budget. Reception was so bad that plans for a third Mortal Kombat film, called Mortal Kombat: Devastation, were abruptly cancelled. But take heart fellow Supercultists. The Mortal Kombat rights are now with Warner Bros. and there are plans for a 2021 reboot. Ahh, the Elder Gods continue to bless Supercult with an unending supply of fodder, don’t they?

Now adays its hard to tell whether Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is a cautionary tale of corporate greed and early video game cash-ins, or if it has evolved into a hilarious cult hit that plays into its own unintentional comedy. Is it a really bad video game film, or a really good spoof of the source material? It’s time to decide supercultists! Round One! FIGHT!

Supercult West is proud to present, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation Hello Supercult West! This is Supercult South Bad Movie Professor Cameron Coker (BS in “Mixed Reviews” with a minor in “Turn into a mortal and your haircut is free!”) and I’m reaching out to you from across the country to help hype tonight’s screening of the sequel to 1995’s Supercult Classic Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation!

[yoshi4sushi]

(purupurupuru) (purupurupuru) (click!) (coo!) (coo!)

 Minna-san! Happy! Happy Monday! We are so so sorry for not posting last week. We were so exhausted from our trip we dozed off. We deeply apologize for the delay. Trips sometimes get us exhausted, but we won’t make excuses so to make up, we have more goods to add from last time. Please take it as token of apology. However, we do like to share our excitement. We went to USJ to enjoy the OP premiere show and dine at Sanji’s restaurant. You can look at our pics on our Twitter page under the name yoshi4sushi or FB fan club page, Los Mugiwara. We have all of our pics on both of those sites. Check it out when you get a chance. So we got cool stuff to share with you so you know the drill. First off, the chapter resumed this week. The gang is having trouble shaking off Big Mom and must rely on King Baum to get through the forest, but the critters get in the way and the sugar queen is approaching fast. Finally, Pudding catches up with Chiffon, and begs for her help. However, Chiffon denied her help knowing that she no longer wants to aid her family. Pudding convinces her that her goal is not help BM, but to help Luffy and the gang, and it looks like she means it. Will Chiffon aid her sister? Or is Pudding still being devious to trick her? Guess we’ll know later on. No chapter this week, but will resume next week. Yes, another break. Be patient. Oda-sensei does deserve to take a breather or two. Moving on, this past weekend’s episode, Luffy is still struggling with his fight against Cracker now that his identity has been revealed. His infinite biscuit army keeps coming back, and Luffy is reaching his limit with his gear 4th. Meanwhile, Sanji’s older bros, Ichiji and Niji have come back from their trip, and Sanji feels uneasy to see them after a long time. How much can Sanji take the abuse and haze from his rotten family? Guess we’ll see. Next, week, he stands up to them, but at a heavy price. What could that price be? Tune in this weekend. Now on with the goods, first off, Tongari-san send us an email. He couldn’t make it cause he was exhausted so he wrote to us. He says that the Tokyo Pirates Festival is still going on at the tower. First, you can still look at the second part of the exhibition of OP which the theme is battle. Second, this week until the 10th, Sabo will be making his appearance for photo shoots. Even getting pics with the Straw Hats. However, you have to get there early to get a pic ticket. On the 8th, Buggy and Puggy will also be there for the pic. It’s an one day event. Bon Clay will be there from the 11th till the 18th. Lastly, Law and Bepo will be there from the 19th until Sept.3rd. Moving on, Franky’s cola bar will be selling these delish ice shavings of Nami which is orange flavor, Chopper which is strawberry flavor, and Robin which is grape flavor. If you order either of them, you’ll get a free coaster with it. Chopper’s strawberry flavor was really delish. Moreover, the Mugiwara Café and Sanji’s restaurant will be serving two delish birthday dishes, and also, they have a new menu. First off, Buggy’s birthday is is on the 8th. To celebrate, they will serve his Red Nose Capellini pasta dish with a red cabbage, sliced eggplant, and a cherry tomato on top. Also, it’s also Cavendish’s b-day. His b-day is on the 30th I think. They will serve this beautiful apple lemon soda with a rose and flower. If you order either of them, you’ll get a free b-day bromide card. Next, the new menu they have look very delish. First, they have Ace’s roll cake with some orange sauce and berries. Next dish, Law’s rare cheesecake hat with some chocolate syrup drops, and cookie crisps. We ate this dessert, and it was very delish. Our recommendation if you there are any cheesecake lovers. Moving, they are also serving Ussop’s garden pizza, Nami’s orange semifred ice cream cheesecake, and finally, Robin’s berry panna cotta with some rich sweet n’ sour berry sauce with thick panna cotta and edible flowers. GUA! SO DELISH! Moreover, the Mugiwara store and Tongari stores are selling some awesome goods. Both stores are selling dessert cake, salty cracker snacks, fans, and individual tote bags of each character. For badges, you can only buy them at the Tongari store. Next, if you live in Japan, you can still buy the park pass for the whole year, and if you purchase it, you will receive this adorable summer hang figurines of Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ace, Law, and Sabo. This can only be purchased online. The tower will not accept direct purchase. One more thing, they have announce early on the upcoming Halloween event that will start from Setp.16th until Oct.31st.Very early, but there still some news that will be kept under wraps until then. However, they will have another costume contest and this time, they will have two contests for kids over 14 and up on Oct.14th and 21st. Children contest will be on Oct.28th. Winners will get awesome prizes. More details will be announced later. Also, navy soldiers will be patrolling the park so if you dress like a pirate, be sure to watch out for them. They’ll get you! Ha ha ha ha ha! Moving on, here’s the cover for vol.2 of the OP magazine which has been released last Friday along with vol.86 of Whole Cake Is. Vol.87 will be released in November. Next, here are the new DVD cover svol. 8 of the Zou/Rookie arc with Luffy and Grant and vol.1 of Whole Cake Isl. arc which has Luffy. If you want to order it, look it up on the Jap. website of Amazon. Next, LINE has two new stickers set. One set are OP villains, and the third set is all Sanji. Very cute ones. To get these, you either have a Japanese mobile phone to purchase them or have a friend send them to you. We found a way to purchase LINE stickers from Japan. It’s a bit pricey, but if you wish to purchase cute stickers, add Takara Japan to your friend list. You can also find them on Facebook. All you have to do is send them a message of what stickers you want, and they’ll send an invoice from paypal. You pay and they’ll send you the stickers. They’re 4.00 bucks for each set. Bit pricey, but if you are into cute stickers from Japan, this is easier instead going through some hard tech stuff. Let us know if you need help. Next, this Thursday, arcades will be stocking this new battle version figurine of Zoro. They have also stocked the next Grandline DX of Sanji and Judge along with some WFC chibi figurines of the Vinsmoke family. Get your coins and game face on and beat the crane. Also, if you’re a fan of Mihawk, the POP DX figurine of him has a discount of 19% off. It will be released in December. We’ll leave a link if you wish to order it. Moving on, two weeks ago, Wonderfest displayed some new upcoming figurines for this year, and early next year. First, they have they have this pricey Smart Doll of Nami. No exact date, but it will be probably be released this fall or early winter. Next, they have this new figurine of Reige. We believe it’s either Branpresto or POP. Not sure yet, but more details will be released. Moving, here’s a new POP BB style of Robin, and boy, she looks very erotic in this one. Next, here’s the new SOC figurine of Ace, and another POP figurine of Jinbei. More details of released dates will be announced later on. Last, but not least, Mugiwara stores will be selling these awesome matsuri goods. Each store will be selling different characters. Shibuya will have Luffy and Law, Osaka will have Ace and Whitebeard, Nagoya will have Zoro and Sanji, and Fukuoka will have Luffy and Chopper. They’ll sell bromide cards, towels, cushions, t-shirts, and buttons. They will be released this Friday. It’s first come, first serve so if you’re an early bird, you should get ahead start. Next, HKDS store are accepting orders for these new kokeshi dolls of Luffy, Zoro, and Chopper. It will be released in mid-October. It will come as a whole set. Next, Jump Station in Osaka are selling these acrylic keychains of Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Ace, Marco, Shanks, Sabo, Chopper, and Bartolomeo. Each has a station name in Osaka. Last, but not least, Jump stores are selling these adorable tissue pouch straps of Laboon that you can take with you when you get the sniffles. Phew! So much stuff we just couldn’t leave out anything. Well, that’s everything from these past two weeks. We won’t delay anymore. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate do leave a question or comment on our den den mushi question box. It’s a shame Tongari-san didn’t come by, we hope to see him next time.  Job well done, boys. Let’s take a long snooze. See you all next week.

Mihawk figurine: http://blog.livedoor.jp/onepiece_figure/archives/54757518.html

Park pass: http://7net.omni7.jp/detail/1400673146

Kokeshi dolls: https://hkds.tokyo/category/ONEPIECEKOKESHI/

[scartale-an-undertale-au]

Papers of Homelessness - Chapter 9

(This banner had been made by the awesome and amazing artist @bente36​. i am so honored that she had drawn this banner for this story. please go and show her all the love in the world that she deserves!!! \[^o^]/)

BEFORE | NEXT

a/n: today we’re meeting a very lovable character ^^ well, if he wasn’t such a drunkie~

You returned from your errands to find a man with graying hair slumped over one of the tables, Hood shaking his shoulder lazily, not seeming to be in a hurry for the man to wake up.

You narrowed your eyes and closed the door shut to stop the cold air from coming in, placing all the bags you were carrying on one of the tables and approaching the two.

“So, what’s going on?”

Hood looked up, unperturbed by the whole situation. Probably used to it from the streets. “He’s sleeping…”

Oh, great… a drunkie. You sighed and shook the man’s shoulder, smelling the faint waft of cheap whiskey rising from the slumbering customer. “Sir, can you please wake up? This is not a place for a nap.”

The man grunted, but kept sleeping. You shook him again and got the same reaction. You grew annoyed and pinched the man’s arm, no longer caring for niceties.

The man gave a loud snore and sat up, blinking his groggy blue eyes and locking them with yours.

You stared back, realizing that despite the graying hair, the customer was much younger than expected. Seeming to be around his forties and less unkempt than the smell had indicated.

“Sir?” You hissed out, giving a strained smile. The man yawned and stretched, slumping back in his chair with a pleased hum. A vein popped in your temple.

“Sir, did you order anything?” You said calmly despite your hands itching to throw the man out. The customer looked at you as if just realizing you were there and then gave a belly-full laughter.

“Good afternoon to you too, Chara. Nice to finally meet Grillbz’ brat.”

Your eyes widened, shock overtaking the anger. “Excuse me? And how did you know my name?”

The man shrugged, his blue jacket open and showing a white t-shirt underneath it, covering a beer belly. “Grillbz’ is an old friend of mine. Used to serve together.”

“You’re a veteran.” You raised a brow at his nod. “You aren’t at the reunion.”

The man shrugged again, grinning as if without a care in the world. “Not my thing. Only reason I came out of the house was because of my bro. So I came here to check out the place.”

You folded your arms, wary of the man despite his harmless appearance. You knew better than to be fooled by that.

“Here’s some water…” Hood’s sudden intrusion to the conversation made you jolt a bit, feeling a bit proud that you didn’t get as startled as usual.

The man, on the other hand, nearly jumped out of his skin and grabbed Hood’s hand, his head turning to them so you couldn’t see his face.

Hood stiffened and poured the water on the man’s head.

Silence.

You doubled over as laughter rolled out of you. You braced yourself with a hand on the table, trying not to die from laughter when the drenched man turned to you with wide eyes.

The man looked at you for a moment before snorting and cracking up as well, releasing Hood’s hand and rubbing his wet hair sheepishly.

“Sorry, kiddo, I just hate being surprised, that’s all.”

Hood looked at him blankly and he shrugged playfully, extending his hand. “Name’s Sans Serif, pleased to meet'cha.”

The hooded homeless eyed the thick hand for a moment nodding and grabbing it. “Hello…”

Sans eyed them and grinned mischievously. “So… water is your name?”

Did he just?

Yes, he did.

You gave a big snort. “That was bad.”

Sans’ grin widened. “Welp, what can I say. So,” The man turned back to Hood, “you gonna answer? Kind of rude to leave a new friend hanging.”

You raised a brow. “A friend?”

Hood ignored you and nodded. “Frisk… Sorry…”

“Hmmm, don’t talk much, huh? Like Grillbz then.” Sans gave a firm handshake to the smaller hand and released it, ruffling his hair and spraying water everywhere. “You seem like a nice kid, unlike the little brat over there,” He pointed at you.

You bristled, gritting your teeth in extreme annoyance. “You barely know me for five minutes!”

Blue eyes crinkled. “You pinched me.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You slept in my diner.”

“Grillbz’s.”

“I’m running the place when he isn’t here. You, on the other hand, don’t run anything.”

“Touché.” The man shrugged and stood up, dusting his clothes and cracking his neck. “Welp, has been a pleasure to meet you, but I’ve got places to be.”

You glared as the man bid goodbye to Hood and walked out of the diner, the bell jingling when it opened and closed.

The two of you stood there for a moment before Hood tilted their head. “So he didn’t want to buy anything at the end?”

You nearly slammed your head on the wall.

“I swear, if you keep bringing your friends to here without telling me, someone will get hurt!” You stated when Grillby returned that evening. The redhead man turned from the car to you and raised a brow in question, Hood taking a big box from his arms and walking back into the diner.

You sighed and rubbed your forehead, feeling a headache developing. “Sans Serif? A veteran buddy? Rings any bells?”

Grillby blinked and nodded. “…Sorry…”

You stared at him and then slumped, never being able to stay angry at Grillby for long. “I just want to know in advance next time, alright?”

Your boss nodded and passed a box to you to carry, your attention shifting to the car’s back where the bottle boxes were.

More than half were gone.

You blinked and saw Hood grab another box and walk inside as if the bottle crate weighed nothing more than a few grams.

You gawked when they returned moments later, seemingly undeterred by the action. You quickly shook your head and quietly helped Hood carry the rest of the boxes in, showing them how to restock the new drink fridge that Grillby wanted to try and see if people liked it.

Which reminded you about the new order you had placed for that juke box Grillby had seen… first time you had seen his eyes sparkle when you think of it.

Hood eyed the bottles intensely, scrutinizing against the labels. You nudged their shoulder and they looked at you.

“What’s wrong?” You gestured to the bottle with your head. “Never seen sprite before?”

Hood shook their head. “Just… water and alcohol…Juice only here…”

You sighed. “Figures, I didn’t see any other drinks on that street as well… Want to try some of those?” You suddenly asked, a plan formulating in your head.

See what reactions Hood would have with gas.

That is going to be fun.

Hood took a moment to consider it, shaking the bottle a bit and seeing the liquid fizzle as a result. Their mouth pursed and the smaller face finally nodded.

“Sounds interesting…”

You grinned and snatched the bottle from their hands. “Great, then we’ll do that when we finish, alright?”

Hood nodded and the two of you went to help Grillby to prepare food for tomorrow and cleaning up the place.

Your body buzzed with excitement.

You managed to rope Grillby into being the drink handler, not wanting to have your attention divided between the drinks and Hood.

The redhead nodded and silently prepared a row of whisky glasses, big enough to have an effect and small enough so that Hood could finish the drink in two gulps.

Said person was sitting on the chair, back in their ‘street’ clothes and seemingly unaffected, but their hands were fumbling inside the pockets even more than usual. You smirked knowingly as you sat across the table, putting your elbows on it and resting you chin on your palms, shrugging when Hood tilted their head at you.

“Ready?” You asked instead and they hesitated, staring at the ready to be filled glasses, and gave a small nod. You grinned in satisfaction and gestured for Grillby to start pouring.

First was regular soda. Hood took the glass and eyed it for a long while before taking a deep breath and sipping at it, a small jolt coming from them at the probably sensation of fizzling bubbles.

You sniggered. “I forget to tell you about the jumpy bubbles.”

They swallowed and set the cup down, slapping a hand over their mouth and nose, a small burp mixed with a sneeze coming from behind it.

You slowly gaped, raising your head as your eyes widened. Then your grin came back as you started laughing, banging your forehead at the table. You shook with laughter, not expecting this kind of development.

“Chara?” Hood sniffled and the sound of rubbing was heard. You raised your eyes to gaze from under the hoodie, seeing the slanted eyes gaze at you in confusion while their lower face was covered by their sleeve. The homeless sniffled again and Grillby gave them a napkin to blow their nose with. Hood nodded and blew their nose, the noise making you crack up again.

Finally, when you calmed down, you grinned at your co-worker. “So how was it?”

“…rotten…”

You snickered at the answer. “Well, how about a sprite then, it’s with lemon in it.”

Hood shrugged, less reluctant this time, and took the next cup, sipping from it and took a moment before wiping their lips – you didn’t comment on how it caught your attention for a second – and shrugging. “Lemony.”

You hummed. “Like it?”

“Strange… but nice.”

“Well, coming up next would be cola, the caramel version of the soda. Is better suited for those with a sweet tooth and a wish for a slow death.” Hood gazed at you and you shrugged. “Comes with being a barista for two years.”

“…Narrator…” Grillby added while filling the next cup and you agreed cheekily.

Hood ducked their head lower, shoulders slightly shaking, and took the cup, hiding their face behind the cup as they sipped it. They lowered the cup and licked their lips, burping once more and covering their face.

“…Sweet.”

You laughed a bit at the action, enjoying the reaction.

“Right?” You urged them. “It’s pretty addicting too, so be careful.”

Hood immediately pushed the cup away and you laughed. “I was just joking, Hood.”

But the other shook their head. “Not funny…”

You blinked in confusion, but then realized that on the streets people are probably addicted to alcohol or drugs. You sighed, some of the lightness fading. “My bad.”

Hood nodded and took a fourth cup from Grillby, this time the cup filled with a yellow fizzling drink.

“That’s XL, energy drink,” You said just as Hood took a sip. The smaller one hesitated at your remark, but then shrugged and finished the cup.

“…Nice.”

You scoffed, disappointed but decided not to comment on it. “So you know juices and I think we covered the carbonated drinks. So I think that’s it? Anything else you wanted to try?”

Hood considered it for a moment but shook their head, answer a bit slower than usual. “Tired…”

“Alright, then,” You stood up and grabbed the cups, “I hope you liked your introduction to the crazy drink house since you’ll be serving a lot of those soon.”

Hood shrugged and joined you, yawning softly and seeming a bit unsteady on their legs. You raised a brow a bit in worry since the other had never shown such extreme signs to exhaustion. “Are you okay there?”

“Yes…” Hood sniffled and nodded, straightening themselves and walking as normal as ever the rest of the way.

You didn’t believe them, but pushed the thought to the back of your head.

Probably just a reaction to the gas.

You waved goodbye to Hood at the entrance and departed for the night, a nagging feeling in your stomach.

NEXT

[lazyphiladelphiareviews]

Lazy Philadelphia Reviews: Serpico

Hello. This is a Lazy Philadelphia Review of Serpico. I ate dinner there the other night.

Serpico is a restaurant. You might think that it is an Italian restaurant. That is because I thought it was an Italian restaurant but it is not an Italian restaurant.

Okay I was really excited for Serpico but mostly that is because, like I mentioned, I thought that it is an Italian restaurant and that is probably my favorite kind of food besides beer. But it is a Korean small plates French inspired “inspired” small plates cuisine destination kind of thing. And usually small plates don’t cost $38 dollars each and yet here we are folks.

Also Serpico sounds like Scorpio which is the name of the killer in Dirty Harry and that movie kicks awesome in the ass and whistles in its ears.

Ok so I went to Serpico with 3 (three) other people which is weird for me because I do not have any friends. So the first thing the waiter says is “have you dined with us before” and I always lie and say yes because I don’t like the wait staff ever thinking I am some punkass first timer bro I aint no punk bitch. But he could tell that I was already confused by the menu, probably because I was holding it upside down and saying “Interesting!” a lot.

OK so the waiter suggests that each person order 5 plates (of food) each and after looking at the prices for awhile and doing some quick math in my head, I decided to take out a reverse mortgage on the house my father built that he still lives in to be able to eat there.

I let all the other people I was with do the ordering. That is because every item on the menu sounds super gross.

(before I continue let me just say that this was one of the best meals that I have ever had in my life. But this is not sincere and insightful reviews. This is lazy reviews. Let’s get back to talking shit.)

Ok so yea everything sounds fucking weird and gross. Like the dude was like “the special tonight is a 5 minute egg, which is a rotten old egg that we hard boil and it turns brown then we leave it on the counter over night then throw 15 different kinds of mushrooms on it and it looks ridiculous and you’re going to love it. That’s for 47 dollars.”

So obviously we got that.

We also got something called egg custard and chicken and snail lasagna which features both chicken and…you guessed it…snails. Like I am serious that everything has at least one fucked up confusing element to it but by the time we ordered I already had like 4 whiskey drinks and I would have eaten cat food at that point and I am not positive that I didn’t and I probably loved it.

Other things I got that I don’t understand: ceviche, some sort of meat tataki, (all of those things are raw) and like, salmon, then short ribs, then like…some egg thing seriously man I don’t really know it all happened really fast and I generally prefer food that is, you know, cooked, so like I just kept my mouth shut except to put food in there.

OK so finally the dude comes around again and he is like “would you like to look at the dessert menu” and I was just like just bring all the desserts nothing you say makes sense anyways. So he brought them all OH this was the best part! Then they brought us these four little “digestif” after dinner licorice liquoure drinks with a little lemon slice in it and I was like THANKS and I hammered that thing down like it was a shot of Jagermeister, which apparently I was not supposed to do because everyone in the entire establishment started pointing and laughing at me like that scene at the end of Carrie where she is prom queen and she gets blood poured on her and everyone laughs and points it was awesome lol.

Then they brought out the bill and that was very depressing!

Okay so all in all, it seems like Italian but it is not. Also everything sounds gross but it is all actually really good!

Serpico! I hope you’re rich! Don’t tell my dad I sold his house!

This has been Lazy Philadelphia Reviews: Serpico by Elliot.