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steve0discusses · 4 years

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S5 Ep 3: Apdnarg is Really Hard to Spell

Yo guys, people are getting vaccinated, the sun is parting through the clouds, and I felt so nice that I even stopped listening to quite so many throwback 00′s BTS mashups (and yet I keep clicking on these dissonant catastrophes thinking “this time it’s got to be better. This time they’ll figure it out.” and like, no. Turns out you can’t match Brittany’s Toxic with BTS’ Black Swan. You can’t do that.)

This must be a sign that things are getting better. If anything, it means my personal tastes are improving. I mean I only clicked on like 3 “Dark Academia” Playlists where I could pretend I’m some sort of spooky witch in an abandoned library with a bad music player and basic taste in classical music (like can we ban Satie from Youtube for a little while?). Hell, I might even do a prompt update to this blog!

Yeah, you heard me, I’m actually going to stay ahead of the update schedule for Yugioh Abridged (maybe. I haven’t actually watched cuz of spoilers, I just noticed the thumbnail pop up on Youtube and was like “Damn it, they came out of hiatus??? I got hurry UP.”)

Anyway, speaking of the sky parting.

I’ll have you know my bro said this is actually more like a circumcision and it was one of the worst thing I have ever heard.

We get a chance to take in this lineup of confusing and varied character designs, and Joey. who is...still Joey.

The animators probably had to hold a strike in order for them to put Yugi in the audience, lets be real. There are TOO MANY PEOPLE in this shot and one is wearing a turban where you draw every single wrap. I hope those artists charged by the line.

Tea has a subplot where she’s just very frustrated with everyone she knows. They have been traveling together for like many weeks and got trapped in a foreign country so I get it. But at the same time, it’s kind of hard to picture Tea with female friends.

Because right now you got this 12 year old child, the other duelist who does not care about anything besides cards, and Kaiba’s 3 dragon cards that we’ve all collectively decided are female.

Hell it’s almost like the writers are asking themselves why Tea is here. Maybe they forgot. There’s no more ghosts to bus, no more people to knock out with her ass with random Olympic feats. Tea’s just sidelining.

(read more under the cut)

Mokuba is a itty bit bit taller this season, and so I guess that means he can legally climb on top of the cherry picker in order to give a riveting speech.

Really says a lot about Mokuba that he is so unphased about talking to, I dunno...an entire planet of people. Kind of a shame we never see this courage from Mokuba used for anything other than talking really, really big and giving everyone around him a really hard time.

Mokuba takes a moment to dunk on Yugi Muto, as is Kaiba tradition.

And then introduce the first pair of duelists, which obviously must be between the few people in this tournament that we actually know and care about.

Thankfully, in between last episode and this episode, Yugi has figured out who his own Grandpa is. This is a relief, because Yugi is such a mess, that I was fully convinced it would take over half a season for him to recognize it. I mean how long did it take him to figure out he shares a body with a ghost? Like half a season?

Instead Yugi recovered gracefully from not recognizing his grandpa, but it’s not like he bothered to tell anyone else, so the rest of our cast is just gonna be like “Is he my hairdresser? The guy who delivers my mail? Who is this guy who made absolutely no significant changes to his outfit or voice?”

Like sometimes this show goes full Spongebob silly kid’s show and you never know when to take it seriously or not. They might be sacrificing the entire cast next episode. I really don’t know. But for now their big concern is who is grandpa??? Like an innocent card version of “Are you my Mother?”

Faced with public speaking, Yugi decides to have a melt down.

We have seen him face monsters, we’ve seen him on TV dozens of times, he’s been in multiple competitions...but give a speech? Of course he can’t do that. The kid doesn’t attend enough school to know how to do that. Them’s learning skills.

And that was when a newly assembled wife-jet spliced through the sky like a souped up razer scooter and deposited 1 fully equipped Seto Kaiba in a Buzz Lightyear jetsuit.

THE RECOVERY.

Seto always watching over his Brother, ready to save this awkward party if it kills him (and it really should, that suit is held together by two seat-belts), making sure to get on that platform before Yugi starts going off about how he’s half an Ancient Egyptian. (Ah, life before social media. You could just be hella famous and also half a dead dude and people would just not know. I kinda miss the time before I knew literally everything about everyone.)

Please admire how close those flames are to setting Mokuba’s heavily hairsprayed mane completely alight. It would be an unforgettable spectacle.

These were absolutely just random ass jet packs that Gozaburo Kaiba made to kill hell tons of people, right? Like Seto found it in the family cabin, clutched to the heart of some crispy fried corpse and was like “neat! Mokuba! I found a cool toy!” and just plucked that thing out of that skeleton’s clutches and has been flying around for months?

Like this is Seto Kaiba’s Butter Glider, right?

Seriously what type of vehicle license do you need for one of these things? RIP My ‘Seto only has a scooter license’ headcanon.

Which I’m only even thinking about because I’ve had to try and make an appt with the DMV for days to get a freakin REAL ID. I went to sleep in 2019 and I could fly on a plane. I woke up in 2021 and it’s like “Want one last screw you?” and just...can 2020 please stop screwing me over? It’s March.

Anyway, the Jet is removed soon after, so no, this is not part of his new outfit. He goes right back to his Post-S4-Trauma-Normcore.

After wrestling this competition out of his brother’s hands and confusing everyone in the audience, Roland must have gotten the memo to cut the microphone before Seto got too excited and we were quickly ushered on to the next stage of the tournament.

One sec...the BTS Mashup playlist I just clicked on did a Black Swan X 7 rings mashup and it’s the worst thing my ears have ever heard.

Holy crap. I had to actually turn down my volume. Like...Ariana Grande already has music that has way too many overlapping singing parts on it--and then lets just stick a 52-person boy band on top? That’ll fix it. Yeah. Go ahead.

Wow. Even I had to change the song and you know how much I enjoy pop culture mistakes.

Spot the Mickey but like a million times easier because it’s a Massive Dick Shaped Dragon.

Yep. That’s my grocery shopping outfit. Except maybe not a lab coat and a duel disk. Wish I had a duel disk, that would make social distancing just a hell ton earlier. Just a “Yo, only one person in checkout, please” and then bap them on the head with a propelled discuss/hologram.

Anyway, Grocery shopping/Doctor man dueled the Purple Hair Boy, and considering that Purple Hair got screen time and shook Yugi’s hand once--I think that Doctor man doesn’t stand a freakin chance.

Good. I hate him.

Also, every time he breathes he’s gonna fog up his glasses. I have experience in this area. He can’t read his own cards in the same way I can’t read my phone if I’m in the refrigerated aisle.

So the way this tournament works, is everyone has to sit in the stadium to watch the show. Kinda like showing up to a football stadium just to watch a recorded TV monitor...but then again...that is how it feels to watch a football game at a football stadium when it’s live (at least with the tickets I usually get.)

And as we watch Grandpa waiting for his competitor, we find out that his competitor (Joey) is too busy eating snacks to give him the time of day.

Why do cartoon hot dogs always have lettuce? Is that seriously supposed to be relish? Or is there a place in the world where you put lettuce on your hot dog?

Sorry, bro has just informed of his favorite hot dog order, which is absolutely terrible so I will share it with you: a Five Guys hot dog with ketchup, mustard, pickle relish, onions, mushrooms, pickled peppers, and you guessed it--topped with freakin lettuce.

My own kin. How am I over 30 and just finding out that my baby brother thinks it’s normal to walk into a restaurant with normal god-fearing law-abiding people and order lettuce and mushrooms on a hot dog?

I have fully failed him.

The rest of this episode is watching both Joey Wheeler and Mokuba have a shared panic attack while Seto does freakin nothing.

Please remember that Seto has both a jetpack and a dragon wife plane and could have easily solved this problem. But nah.

Then again, Seto Kaiba has given this crew so MANY rides, that maybe he’s tired of being the Soccer Mom for the team?

Like they don’t actually say this episode, but Seto was the one in charge of like...this entire place, do you think he made the 2 for 1 special just to get Joey where it hurts the most? Or does it actually not take any subterfuge to screw Joey Wheeler because he’s just naturally this way?

Like Mokuba wasn’t there when Joey was told “stay right here, and then we will all go together to fight Dartz” and Joey was like “I’mma save Mai from herself although she told me not to!” and then he Hella Died. But, Mokuba did see the result, AKA, Joey’s dead body being carried on the back of Tristan. Maybe Mokuba never realized that Joey died because he went out of his way to be late?

Lets do a tally of every time I can recall with my dodgy memory that Joey was threatened to be DQ’d/pretty much was DQ’d either by his own fault or no fault of his own

-When he wasn’t allowed to go on the boat to Murder Island because he was a stupid nobody kid who did not have a dueling glove

-When he wasn’t actually supposed to be in Pegasus’ tourney and was, in fact, secretly using half of Yugi’s entrance ticket the entire time

-when Bandit Keith stole the ticket that Joey got from Yugi so then Joey had to borrow Mai’s ticket although she had just used it so it really shouldn't have counted. Because, really anyone could have just piggy backed off of each other’s ticket until the whole boat went through that castle.

-When his account was hacked to get entered into Kaiba’s tourney when Kaiba very clearly told him he could not apply solely because he was Joey Wheeler.

-When he was late to his sister’s eye surgery because he got mugged by Marik’s Rare Hunters, so she almost refused to do the surgery.

-When Joey got possessed by Marik, and as Marik, threatened to murder everyone else in the tournament including both of the Kaiba brother’s who’s tournament it was, and then chained himself to Yugi Muto to throw both of them to the bottom of the ocean.

-I think there was a point when he threatened to attack Kaiba in Kaiba’s own tourney while not possessed? Like several times?

-when he got struck by Lightning and almost did not stand up fast enough after being struck by lightning, which is apparently a type of DQ in Duel Monsters.

-When he tried to save Mai from getting hit by a fireball, but then Yugi did it instead, and then so many people were standing on the dueling platform that Kaiba couldn’t possibly DQ them all.

-When he entered the restricted area of the blimp in order to hassle Kaiba into landing the Blimp, which Kaiba did not do.

-When Marik killed Joey before Joey could press the “go” button on his duel disk to play the card that should have won Joey the match.

-When he was dueling a lawyer in a digital universe but then the dice was like...weighted? So Noah had to walk over and be like “The hell is this weighted dice? This is my perfect digital world? How did you even do that?” and then Joey won because the match was no longer legit.

-When Joey yelled at Noah too much and so Noah turned Joey to stone for being a rude ass spectator

-When Mai was like “Wheeler and Valon, listen closely: do NOT murder each other” and then Joey did a murder on Valon so she was like “I guess I have no choice, I was very clear” and killed Joey straight up.

-When Joey decided to block Seto’s fireballs while Joey Wheeler WAS a playing card, somehow disrespecting both Dartz and Seto Kaiba at the same time.

-When Joey was playing cards but then got absorbed into a giant Leviathan and basically couldn’t play anymore after that.

-There’s probably hell ton of S0 stuff I just haven’t seen yet.

-This episode

And Joey runs fast for a montage of wacky things that really have no business being in a theme park. Things like this:

(remember when Bakura almost died from a rock that ended up being a balloon? It comes full circle.)

The stuff that the Kaiba brother’s think is normal and fun.

Anyway Joey fights off a bunch of hologram snakes and bats and everyone is like “Should we tell him it’s just holograms???” And it’s like wow, guys, how many times have these ‘holograms’ straight up murdered Joey Wheeler and everyone else on this cast? Too many? Because I have a google doc with so many deaths on it. 7,805,844,048, to be exact.

Anyway, he gets there with five seconds to spare and Mokuba’s like “well at least you were still entertaining while we filmed you in front of a live audience being a total spaz for 15 minutes straight, so I’ll let you go.”

Grandpa and Joey start playing, Joey completely oblivious that this is just an older Muto, while Hawkins walks up awkwardly and is like “hey guys. I’m so sorry about this.”

(welcome to my font choices, for those new here, I have to make weird font color choices to make sure it’s legible for the colorblind and also for the non-colorblind. This one is not much contrast, so I may change it up in the future, but for now, this is Grandpa Muto’s new font. I apologize to every graphic designer reading this. Please don’t tell anyone who has ever hired me for graphic design about this blog.)

What’s funny about this exchange is that after they find out that Yugi’s Grandpa is Apdnarg (HOLY my brain cannot get around the spelling for that, and I will not change it in the caps. I cannot do a ‘pdn’ ever again), they don’t stand on his side of the field or anything. Hawkins is legit Solomon Muto’s only fan during this exchange and like...damn. Way not to back your Grandpa, Yugi.

Yugi immediately strides up to Mokuba to non-confrontation-ally inform him that he has stepped over a line and Mokuba is like “what are these things you say called ‘lines?’”

According to Mokuba, Solomon Muto begged him to be in the competition so he could relive his glory days (glory days making no sense here, because the game has only been released for the past 15 years, so glory days is like...the before times that can only be referring to disgraced archeologists and Pegasus ((who is, in his own way...a disgraced archeologist, too))) and Mokuba was like

“You trained Yugi Muto, right? Hey that’s good enough for me. This drama is gold. People will eat it up. Hell yes. Don’t be afraid to abduct him a little bit. Maybe trap a couple people in a digital hellscape for a little while? Now we go by Pegasus house rules here, so fire as many lasers as you want, but just make sure not to hit anyone in the face. Oh man, we are going to be swimming in cash. Love it, Muto Sr, love it.”

But I dunno, I feel like Grandpa won’t make it past next episode. It is Joey. We kinda need him to make it past Ep 4 of the arc. If Grandpa Muto becomes the new Joey Wheeler, that will be a weird transition for this show to make.

But that’s all for today, as always, here is the link to read these in chrono order becuase there’s SO MANY that you don’t need to read backwards--don’t do it--just use the chrono tag (and I don’t know if you can add compound tags, but I did separate the Season from the Episode, so if you write S4, it should only pop up stuff from S4. I didn't’ do that to seasons 1-3 though because I just...didn’t.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

And because I brought it up: here it is, the best BTS Mashup that I found on my deep dive. Like legit--this one isn’t a mess:

youtube

Most of other ones are horrible in a fascinating way. Like I’m not even a BTS fan, I think I sort of age out of that metric, I’m just bored and quarantined. And lets be real, we all appreciate a good bop when we hear it.

#yugioh #ygo #yu gi oh #photo recap #recap #episode recap #yugi muto #seto kaiba #mokuba kaiba #Joey Wheeler #Apdnarg #Grandpa muto #tea gardner #tristan taylor #professor hawkins #and then I ranted about BTS #but please don't quiz me about BTS I know nothing about them aside from the music #I actually thought there were over 12 of them because every time I see them perform it feels like an entire stageplay production of people #like a 101 dalmations situation where every time I saw BTS there were 3 new people #I assumed it was like the Gorrilaz where people just show up and then disappear in a rotation #but no. There's 7 BTS members #that can't be right #there has to be more than 7 #is this a berenstein bears situation?#how is there only 7?#I swear there used to be like 16 #and they would be introduced like here's jimin and Jungkook and red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and pea #like is google seriously telling me there's only 7 kids in this band?#this is the biggest scam google has ever played on me #this weird alternate timeline that not only has an epidemic but also only 7 members of BTS

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cooltrainererika · 4 years

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A Star Wars Noob’s ideas for fixing the Disney sequels

Okay so just to get this out there, because it won’t leave my mind.

So I’ve been binging on SW lately and the sequels only annoy me more and more by the day. So just wanted to throw my character ideas out into the world. Focusing on characters because I like writing characters way more than plot. Hopefully if I ever actually write this thing, or even somehow pitch it to someone with the right connections to animate it with the actors as voice actors, this wouldn’t have gone viral. But since no one looks at my blog it probably won’t lol. Hopefully.

But just in case, I’ll say that this will probably contain spoilers for a story which may or may not exist by the time you read this.

I’ve deliberately been trying to avoid as much emotional spoilers and normal spoilers as I can before the sequels despite the temptation, so sorry if some stuff is a bit off. Augh I hope I can get the time to watch the full OT and PT soon. I was too tired from hiking when I watched SW4 and I now really wish my dad didn’t show me when I was half-asleep.

Rey: Rainbow of possibilities; Cynical Scavenger, Adventure-seeking Audience Surtogate Geek, or Lawful Good to the core Paladin Padawan with a personal grudge, and may be descended from a family line, maybe not, but currently most likely a Skywalker by blood. Story and other character arcs change dramatically depending on which route chosen.

Finn: Stoic soldier man learns power of friendship, finds meaning of life, causes Stormtrooper mutiny, probably becomes a Jedi and second main character and hooks up with Rey. “What‘s a joke?”. Awkward dork and stunted socially but doing his best. May instinctively find it hard to disobey orders. He may be the one wanting to find his family; but that’s dropped soon enough to focus on what’s ahead.

(Alternatively: Proud warrior guy who acts like a stereotypical North Korean soldier who finds himself outside the First Order, learns power of friendship etc. The rest is the same)

Poe Dameron: What we Japanese people call The Aniki. The funny charismatic ace pilot who keeps everyone sane, overall bro. Wholesome but a bit rough, that guy you would want to share a beer with. But within that easygoing nature burns a hotblooded, determined, dutiful streak, and an even stronger snarky streak. The one with the social skills. Loves his droid like his son though Cynical!Rey and Finn find that initially kind of stupid/strange.

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo: Appears to be yet another quietly imposing Star Wars villain with added edgelord factor, but actually a mentally unstable, borderline yandere berserker of a man crushed under the weight of a legacy, with a horrifying inferiority complex, identity issues, and an unhealthy obsession with familial honor, constantly stuck between Dark and Light. Despite his high rank, basically the First Order’s attack dog. Usually has the emotional maturity of a 16-year-old, if not younger. If anyone is, he’s the damsel in distress of this story.

Luke Skywalker: Cuddly sunshine headmaster sage doing his best, has been on many adventures before that are hidden ads to future Lucasfilm projects. May have gone to search for answers as to what is causing recent events, or is still present at the beginning. May survive at the end. He could be anywhere from kind of jaded but at his core still that sweet optimist, to Basically Uncle Iroh, to can-literally-summon-Porgs-by-whistling/Space Sage Mr. Rogers.

Han Solo: General of the Republic Armed Forces or courier who decided military life just wasn’t for him and now delivers important messages through still unstable areas of the New Republic, a war hero, and a dad doing his best. Wants to hold hope but may have at least outwardly given up on Ben, with Poe filling in the void. Has gone clean from his life of crime and still married 30+ years strong with Leia. He would be the one who is the closest to Poe if he’s still in the military and Leia is a Jedi, with Poe being seen as his likely successor. He might die at the end of 8? Maybe Hamill and Carrie would somehow talk him into sticking around past 7? He might still die in 7?

(Side note: I wish we could have seen Old Harrison Ford in a military casual coat-cape. He would have looked awesome in it. I mean no one would really complain that he plays fast and loose with the dress code if there even is one, he’s Han freakin’ Solo and he gives no f*cks.)

Leia Organa-Solo: Preferably a Jedi Knight, leader while he’s away if he’s away as well as their tactician, or senator considering her personality; maybe have basically what Colin Trevorrow planned for her (I mean… why not just use CGI at this point? They’ve done it before. I’m sure Carrie wouldn’t have wanted her swan song to be such a passive role either), with her bond with Luke being a major factor and us actually being able to see it in practice. May have outwardly given up on her son as well, but still is at the end of the day a mom doing her best. Basically a strong, smart lady like how she’s always been.

Chewbacca: How he always is, but he plays more of a role than basically the guy bussing the cast around, an active combat role definitely. Han’s second in command and maybe fellow dad. Possibly the part-time chaperone of the mess that is the new main duo. Also was Ben’s first friend, and you bet there will be drama here.

Lando Calrissian: Business mogul who probably helps the heroes out, maybe by selling them stuff and using his many connections to get information. And/or he’s basically an economic diplomat for the Republic. Has known Ben since he was a child and may have snuck him on too many joyrides without telling Leia, to her chagrin and Han’s amusement.

Grand Admiral Armitage Hux: Basically how he was in SW7. Calculating, manipulative, coldhearted, intelligent, and ruthless, the brains to Kylo’s brawn. Son of former Imperial officers, killed his own father to get where he is. Gives no f*cks, except when he goes full ham. Maybe even he goes cold and pale if Kylo starts getting angry, just to show how terrifying he can be, but I also like the idea of him being one of two people who can manipulate Kylo out of a tantrum and not end up a pile of flesh or choked to death.

Captain Phasma: How she is in supplemental material probably. A walking chrome machine of merciless death. Probably not very talkative, and probably does not take defectors lightly. She may defect at the end or not depending on how truly evil she’s portrayed to be, but I’m thinking she’s likely this cruel disciplinarian who expects complete and utter, machine-like obedience to the end, and Finn flinches at the mere mention of her, though she herself is equally as extremely loyal to the cause.

Snoke: A mysterious being, the likes of which are not of this galaxy. Probably some kind of ancient eldritch abomination who can torment vulnerable minds with an untraceable curse. Not your average Sith, and despite how it may seem it may not be connected to them at all… Or perhaps it is. Or perhaps it itself serves a larger master. It wants to use Kylo Ren for… something. Just what it is is what Luke has been trying to find out for years.

Knights of Ren: Idea borrowed from Thor Skywalker (check him out on YouTube!); possibly a military cult of Sith/Vader worshippers who see Ben as the second coming of Vader, and have aligned themselves with Snoke. Probably basically Kylo’s personal guard and troops. Or possibly directly liked to whatever otherworldly entit(ies?) Snoke is, not being of this galaxy themselves.

Anakin Skywalker: Determined grandpa doing his best for his kids, grandkid(s), and the galaxy. Doesn’t appear often, but plays a major role in the story; maybe he’s the one who led Rey to his lightsaber, and maybe he advises Luke while training Rey, or secretly follows Kylo, trying to speak to him but unable to be seen or heard by him. He’d be the one who ultimately convinces Ben to return to the light, and to, in an echo of the words Ben heard when he was being impersonated, “finish what I started”.

Rose Tico: A probably relatively new, wide-eyed young recruit in the Republic Military, and maybe seeks revenge on First Order for killing or kidnapping her sister. Not sure if she will be needed, but if there’s room for her she might be interesting. Maybe she’s one of Poe’s friends or part of his squad. She could also be the resident girly girl because there aren’t many of those here.

Vice-Admiral Amberlyn Holdo: She’s in the Aftermath books, and those seem pretty good, so she’s probably how she is there. A quirky mostly background character that is probably at most there for Han and/or Leia and Ackbar to give commands to and salute back, but most importantly she actually does her job properly, even if she’s still a bit of an odd person. Also Poe knows her and they have a way more amicable work relationship. Also give her something which actually looks like something military personnel would wear. She could even be a legitimately good tactician who comes up with off-the-wall tactics.

(Side note: I heard that she basically has the Star Wars version of Autism, and while I’d appreciate that as an Aspie myself, I’ll also have to say that Autistic people would probably be terrible military leaders due to us not being able to adjust to sudden changes well and our bad communication skills. So yeah, sorry, unless she’s recast to something like, say, a mechanic or logistics or medic or any other more Autistic-friendly job, that’s going to have to go)

Maz Kanada: …Admittedly not sure what to do with her. But she’s more likely to be an acquaintance of Lando before Han, if she doesn’t know both. In fact, Lando may be introduced early alongside her. But she would still have the important role of keeping Anakin’s saber; how she has it, either Lando found it, or basically what was cut from TFA showing that she’s indeed pretty awesome.

BB-8: BB-8 doesn’t have to change. He’s perfect as he is. Maybe what he can do should be more consistent though. Poe and him are basically Ash and Pikachu, they stick together whenever possible. If Rey or Finn need a droid to tag along and Poe isn’t in the party at the moment, R2 is right there. I once read a fanfic in which BB-8 was actually a droid Luke made for Ben and I liked the idea… though it probably would be a bit of an unnecessary detail in practice.

R2-D2 and C3P0: They’re basically business as usual. They would still have that boke-tsukkomi dynamic they had going on, sometimes with the added childlike cuteness of BB-8 in the mix. If there’s any extra time left for comic relief scenes, or if they’re sent on some kind of mission together, I can see these three messing around doing their thing (or rather, BB being childlike, cute and curious, Threepio being overly nervous, and Artoo being too old for this sh*t and/or BB’s cool uncle/older brother) being both cute and hilarious.

Also Worldbuilding stuff will be featured at the bottom

Elaboration on the “big four” of the sequel cast:

Rey: Aged 19, speaks with Daisy Ridley’s normal accent, not RP (I mean really, her accent isn’t that hard to understand). A whole rainbow of possibilities with this lady, though many don’t realize it. I might be leaning towards her being Luke’s daughter, though her being Just Rey may also be interesting, and her still being a descendant of Palpatine or the main villain could also have potential, though if Finn is a Jedi I don’t think there’s any need for her parents to be nobody. But the three main routes I can think of for her are these three: Cynical!Rey, a Rey with a backstory identical to the canon Rey from her abandonment onwards, Fangirl!Rey, a sort of estimation of a dorky female Star Wars nerd in-universe and the most lighthearted start out of the three, and Padawan!Rey, a Rey who is already Luke’s Padawan at his academy. Maybe making her starting point less crushingly bleak and Fangirl!Rey could work, but it might dilute both ideas, and that characterization might be a bit too similar to ANH Luke.

As is apparent, Cynical!Rey, is, well, cynical. She’s strong and independent, but extremely distrusting, on-edge, and not used to friendly interaction. Think Female SW4 Han Solo but even more antisocial and probably not even bothering with the bravado, and basically with Anakin’s upbringing except she doesn’t even have a loving mother like Anakin did. Fangirl!Rey was my initial idea but I’m starting to become less partial to it because of the aforementioned similarity to ANH Luke, but my idea was she’s basically Harry Potter, living with stepparents who hate her, or she’s still used as basically child labor but her conditions are nowhere near as bad as Cynical Rey’s, and she would have grown up on stories about the Rebels and the Jedi and everything else in the past movies, collecting every single bit of memorabilia she can get her hands on. If one wants to go for very lighthearted and slightly meta for SW7 this is the route. Padawan!Rey could go anywhere, but I’m thinking she would basically be our D&D Paladin; ever since Ben Solo went berserk and ran off to join the First Order, she’s become very protective of her fellow students and has a really understandable personal grudge against him. She might be the strongest pupil left after the Second Jedi Massacre, and by the end maybe she becomes the successor to headmaster of the academy. It is possible that she was found abandoned on Jakku or Luke’s doorstep, however, so the theme of growing up lonely is there, and because being a Jedi is what has given her meaning in life it means a lot to her. But while I don’t want her parentage to be revealed early if it is Luke, it does raise the massive plot hole of why this was never disclosed to her or to Ben.

And yes, I did say fellow students and academy. Wiping the new Jedi Order feels really cheap and it makes the whole hopeful Jedi Starting Anew implication that I’m 90% sure the OT ended on feel very pointless. I’d prefer them still being there, though their inclusion would be obviously way more natural in the Padawan Route. This also has tons of marketing potential for Disney, because I wanted to take IRL realism into account; what’s in it for Disney? Maybe potential to expand on other students and Luke’s academy? It could be like a smaller Jedi Hogwarts/Xavier Institute basically. Though the survivors wouldn’t be too numerous; just, like, four at most. Maybe there would be elements of an Avengers/Infinity War/Endgame-esque team movie, even if the rest are a bit out of focus.

I did think maybe the heroes would still go to Ahch-To after SW7 where Luke would have been hiding with his students researching the new threat, but maybe I could have him stay and sort of take a few cues from Harry Potter by introducing the heroes to the world of the Jedi early and giving them a break in the action as they settle in their new homes, so there’s more time to develop the padawan side characters, what the academy is like, and Luke gets to appear in SW7 as well so there can be a OT trio “reunion” (not a reunion in-universe). Though that kind of messes with other parts I want to include like Rey and Finn having to take on Kylo and getting completely whipped because he’s a rampaging madman before having to be saved by Luke. Also Rey getting kidnapped has potential for developing her trust in others, and her and Finn getting a breather moment at the Republic after the heroes and Han regroup would kind of remove a point where that could be easily slotted in the story. It would also require everything before this to be crammed in the first act.

(Newer edit 5/27/21) I also like her getting a golden double-bladed saber like many fans depict her. It’s not only awesome looking (because she only gets her own saber at the end of TROS… Why?), but it’s more toys for the moichendise! It fits her starting with a staff, it has more reach, and it would fit Cynical Rey especially for her to have a style centered around keeping as much of herself defended as possible. Watching Battlefront 2 footage has made me think about fighting styles a bit, and if she and Finn are a duo how their styles of combat might compliment each other, especially as their relationship develops (coincidentally she and Finn apparently are a very good combination in BF2). A Cynical Rey would probably contrast the most, with a fighting style based on keeping enemies away, trickery, and defense (a good choice for a blade made of light), maybe a bit wild at first but initially her goal in fighting would be to hold out until there is an opening to get the hell out, only staying to fight if she has no other option. Fangirl Rey wouldn’t really have a fighting style initially, and it’s gonna be very dependent on where her arc goes. Padawan Rey would have the most Prequel Jedi-esque, choreographed style, showing a lot of skill though not quite mastering it and with tons of openings at first. A Cynical Rey may have an uncanny skill to detect suspicious people, which would make her trusting the heroes easier, and though this ability isn’t super strong and is more “a slight gut feeling but it could be nothing” than “human lie detector” it could maybe be honed more. And while not quite wall vision like in BF2 (because wat? Where do they come up with this stuff?), maybe she’s good at detecting people’s presences too. These are very apt ambient skills for someone in her position. Meanwhile, Fangirl!Rey would have probably suspected she had the Force already, and her ambient abilities could be whatever, just rather passive abilities unless trained.

If she is Luke’s daughter though, that would open up the can of worms of who her mother is. Just making it so that she died before the events of SW7 might seem a bit… unfortunate? I kind of want Luke to have found love sometime (and seriously with how much of a bombshell young Luke was, in addition to him being such a hero, I’m shocked that he never got one. I can see why Mara Jade wanted a piece of that. *wolf whistle*), but then I’d have to figure out how to incorporate her in this already character-dense story without her having cheaply died offscreen. I might be able to think of something? I could always go digging in the dusty pile of old fan theories, I might find something good. Thor Skywalker did hint at her but his story stopped at the end of where SW8 would have. If I do name her Mara there’s probably going to be extra pressure to do something with her. …But I can’t be the only one who thinks that Daisy Ridley kind of looks like Natalie Portman. Then again I’m pretty face-blind. I guess blond hair and blue eye color genes are also recessive traits for Star Wars humans. Though it seems the height genes skipped a generation because she’s actually pretty tall for a woman at 170 cm - I’m sorry what. That’s as tall as the average Japanese man! Holy sh*t Daisy! She only looks a bit small because she’s often depicted with Kylo and Kylo makes everyone not Phasma look diminutive. I guess Ben would get it from Anakin and Han (though he’s still taller than both of them…), so maybe a taller actress would be cast as Mara (?). And despite Rey’s malnourishment in the Cynical route, this actually isn’t that implausible, because stunted growth apparently only happens if children are deprived from gestation to about 2 years of age.

And again, why wouldn’t Ben know about this? But if this isn’t the Padawan!Rey route (the hardest to incorporate Rey The Actual Skywalker into), maybe Ben took Rey’s assumed death as even more of a reason to burden himself with the entire Skywalker legacy? This would give him a reason to already care about her.

Further edits: According to the Aftermath books, Jakku was a “Lightside Nexus” planet. Maybe this has to do with her powers? (Perhaps she was kept sane by the Force speaking to her on occasion, in dreams or as she lies staring at the ceiling after a long day, showing her the loving life she used to live and unknown to her she will return to someday). Or why she was dropped there? Maybe she was supposed to be living with Lor San Tekka (the old guy Kylo kills at the beginning of TFA), but got lost one day or was kidnapped by bandits to be a scavenger because her small size would have been perfect for getting loot from small spaces? Why not take her back then? This probably is one of the biggest plot knots in the Cynical Rey Skywalker route, alongside who her mother is.

Small detail lightning round before moving on: I once read a Japanese fic, and in it she mentioned she hates alcohol because she saw how it turned people into monsters. I actually kind of liked this headcanon, and maybe a bit unexpected. Though there’s also the route of her just being too used to it, setting her apart from previous more wholesome protagonists even more. Also Daisy would have to start hitting the gym and protein shakes because I think her character design evolving from her thin build to a very athletic, Wonder Woman-esque body type would be pretty good in representing her growth as a character, and combined with her height she would be so very badass looking.

Finn: Probably around 23? Infamous for lost potential, so his backstory is the same. However, I’m thinking that due to his dehumanizing upbringing, he’s a bit robotic and pretty stoic initially, a total opposite to Poe. He doesn’t understand jokes or sarcasm, and now that he’s completely left the life he’s always known, he feels pretty lost. He would basically act like a male Rei Ayanami, though I was going more for Drax at first. Alternatively, he’s a proud warrior type, imagine a stereotypical North Korean/Prussian soldier. He’d be a bit more emotional and probably less cartoonish here (I mean I have compared Star Wars to anime but full-on anime tropes in live action probably looks super corny), and he’s a massive hardass who also doesn’t get sarcasm or jokes and fanatical and would have thought of his fellow soldiers as a collective as his band of brothers and comrades, collectively serving the FO like a smoothly running machine. My initial thought was that after a life of war crimes and the influence a certain pilot whose cell he was guarding who gave him his name, and maybe witnessing the death of a comrade, he had defected from the FO, but I started thinking it would be plausible if he defected from the FO probably by accident. Highly likely to be the second protagonist, if not POV character, and if so I think it’s logical that it’s Finnrey that becomes the canon ship here. In the Padawan!Rey route, he’s the newcomer protagonist, not Rey. If they’re shipped, or even as friends, they may bond over their dehumanizing, harsh backgrounds and the feeling of being lost in the world. Also he likely starts a mutiny. Like it was such an obvious plot point but they never use it for some bizarre reason. It’s like the DM didn’t read his character sheet at all. Actually one didn’t and the other kept forgetting it in the third campaign.

There’s two ways I think his arc could go; first would be a focus mainly on his search for identity and becoming his own person. Second, his guilt about having done the First Order’s bidding for so long. Probably a combination of the two, though I’m not sure how to address them both. He also wants to see his colleagues free from slavery. But I am sure about I’d that he’d have to overcome his conditioning, learning to regain his humanity.

Especially if Rey is a Skywalker and he becomes a Jedi, he’d be the one who the movie makes a point about being from nowhere. He has no idea who his parents are, but it would not even matter in the end, it’s what he makes of his life from here on out. And if he and Rey end up together, which is extremely likely in this scenario, he not only finds his family in the figurative sense with the other Jedi and his new friends plus girlfriend, but in the literal sense as well, going from nameless Stormtrooper FN-2187, to just Finn the ex-Stormtrooper, to Finn the Padawan and then Jedi Knight, to finally, Finn Skywalker, Jedi Knight; maybe the last movie ends with one of them proposing to the other, with SW8 having previously ended with the climactic big damn kiss that cemented that they are a thing now. (Cue Luke jokingly asking when he’s getting grandchildren and How It Should Have Ended!Anakin squeeing over him getting great-grandchildren lol) His name would have this real symbolic value to it with how it changes as he goes from nobody to somebody. Not to mention “Finn Skywalker” is just a freakin’ awesome name. If they make up the leading duo, he and Rey may have some kind of inherent connection, or they progress into two parts of the same whole, even attaining something like a Dyad.

I thought an interesting thing to do if Rey is a Skywalker, and this is Cynical Rey, is a twist on the expected pattern by making him the one who sees the good in Kylo, not Rey. Because while Rey might be his cousin, she’s also a very distrustful person who couldn’t afford to think deeply about people act the way they do when she was growing up and fighting to survive. Meanwhile, Finn knows Kylo, and he also knows what it’s like to be determined to be a killing machine from a very young age, and if he has to forgive himself, or if he’s able to see the light, that Kylo deserves a chance as well. It would be the ultimate show of kindness from him, to show him forgiving the man who works so loyally under the same organization that enslaved him. I can also see Kylo being angry at himself for being unable to sense the Force-Sensitive in their midst.

Maybe he was born on a “Lightside nexus” planet too so that it makes sense that he can keep up with other characters? Presuming he’s in his early 20s, I don’t think him being raised by the Order since he was a baby is that plausible, so maybe he was already an orphan? I can see the First Order spinning their Stormtrooper program kidnapping street orphans as “rehabilitating” them, which combined with good old Victorian style citizen apathy to street children allows them to get away with it. But if he was, say, around 6 years old when he was taken away, it would make sense why he was able to break out of his programming. Perhaps Poe showing him friendship awoke the humanity long dormant in him. But on the other hand, the younger, adolescent soldiers may be beyond saving, and I can see that being absolutely heartbreaking.

I can see his fighting style with a saber being direct, forceful, and pragmatic, but unlike Rey the emphasis would be on engaging and keeping up the fight, and be very disciplined, calculated, and controlled in contrast to Cynical Rey. At least he’d attempt it while he gets used to the properties of a lightsaber, before there would probably be a lot of awkwardness as John is directed to swing this weightless prop blade with a weighted hilt like he would a club or sword. If he isn’t a Force Sensitive, he’s a good sniper just like in BF2, in fact this would be his primary combat ability, though still able to hold his own in melee combat. Though even as a Jedi he’d probably still use a gun as a sidearm, and his good aim would also translate to him being very good at spotting openings and spotting danger from a distance, as well as enhanced ability to dodge.

Poe Dameron: Age 29 (?). A total bro. I’ve kind of come to think of him as this embodiment of the good, wholesome side of traditional masculinity. I can best describe him as the guy you expect to think of when you think of the guy who takes the boys to the bar for beers on the house and hosts Super Bowl night (for the Americans out there). Basically just that big bro/cool uncle everyone likes. I think he’s the least changed from how he is in SW7; he’s a laid-back pilot with no special powers, and while he’s probably the most static and admittedly flat character (and unfortunately more minor than the other two) he has tons of charisma and optimism to compensate, though being the one who keeps everyone sane definitely helps. Not to mention his piloting skills; which, note, are never eclipsed by Rey, because that’s dumb. His skills are a bit more downplayed here, but he’s still extremely good, especially for his age. Despite being the pilot he’s the most down-to-earth, and may be the only one of the big four with any social skills, even if he’s a bit dorky, especially regarding BB-8.

Son of Rebel pilots, graduated top of his class in the Republic Flight Academy, and his background is squeaky clean, no drug trading involved, though he spent a lot of his adolescence and his adulthood in the Academy or in the military, just like in pre-TROS supplementary material. He’s the main source of jokes and wisecracks out of the trio in all but the most dorky of Fangirl!Rey routes probably, teaching Cynical!Rey and Finn what it’s like to smile and laugh. He still has a close relationship with Leia and Han; possibly closer to the latter due to the latter being a pilot and likely still a General. Not sure about him keeping his rank because him starting and staying at the top might mesh awkwardly with the rest of the trio, but maybe he’s still a Commander; whichever makes his inclusion in the main cast most plausible. Due to an adorable Pixiv comic I found he may have been inspired to become a pilot by Luke or Han. I’d like to think that he breaks the hotshot pilot cliché a bit by not being too overly arrogant, immediately setting himself apart from Han by being a wholesome guy there for his buddies from the start, even if he is fond of wisecracking and snarkiness (probably from hanging around Han and Leia), and inside that laid-back personality lies a hotblooded, passionate, unwavering core. Like, he’s not exactly hotheaded like a Latin stereotype (*ahem*), but he’s got this more subtle, but still apparent, underlying fiery hotbloodedness to him, something that especially makes itself apparent in high-stress situations and when it comes to his loved ones. He’d also be Rey and Finn’s mentor of sorts in stuff that doesn’t involve the Force, being their role model for what a functional member of society is. He may make some self-depreciating jokes about being “normal”, but I think mostly he’ll take it in stride. Though I can see him and Han having a chat about this in a more quiet scene.

Ironically, out of the trio he could maybe be said to be the most suited to be a Jedi personality-wise, despite the fact that he has no Force Sensitivity whatsoever; he goes with the flow, he isn’t troubled, he’s happy with the simple pleasures in life, he’s just a good, genuine guy who does good things, passionate but not obsessive, and he’s forgiving, willing to give even an enemy soldier a chance, appealing to the humanity in him. The last one is particularly Luke-like, don’t you think? Oh, to elaborate on the escape; I still like the idea of him giving Finn his name (though another idea I love is a fallen friend giving Finn his name, that would change stuff around a lot from what I am thinking at this moment). I also think that perhaps supplemental material or some flashbacks, or even an animated short could be made showing just how Poe broke Finn’s programming; by showing him genuine kindness, because somehow, despite his lack of Force Sensitivity, he saw that FN-2187 could be talked out of his programming if he was constantly nice to him, befriending him, starting up casual chatter with him, and after a while the trooper starts opening up to this pilot. …Yeah, Luke-like indeed. Though since there is the plot hole of why Finn could be convinced in mere days and why he’s the only one guarding such a high-profile prisoner, a more realistic idea may be that they talk to each other this way a few times, then Poe escapes and Finn goes after him before they both crash on Jakku and have to work together, with Poe immediately being friendly with Finn and later Rey, to his (and her) confusion. (I can just imagine Poe being all chipper and trying to engage Finn in conversation, or telling him “Good job, sport!” after they fight off bandits or something, and Finn just is all deadpan and “We are enemies, we have no reason to fraternize” and I find that kind of cute).

He may ultimately be the most static of the main cast, but I can see him having a huge impact in more subtle ways; like maybe Rey and Finn think of what Poe might do in a given situation in their training, and he could be the catalyst behind why Finn thinks that Kylo can be redeemed, just like how Poe was able to light another way when it felt like there was only one path for him. He also definitely wouldn’t be the type to be so reckless with his men like he was in TLJ, if he’s still a Commander; he cares about his men a lot, and in fact they may be the reason why he tends to act like an older brother. I can imagine a pretty poignant scene with Finn where Finn sees Poe by himself and BB-8 paying respects to his fallen comrades by this handmade cenotaph, as he sets some flowers down and pours a drink to them, and Finn once again is able to see how different the culture outside the First Order is, as he would have never been mourned like that if he died on the battlefield, nor can he imagine he ever would have done so himself. Or maybe Rey is there too, because if this is Cynical Rey she’s only known a life where people exploited each other. Maybe other characters like Jessika (who he’s already close to I think? Did she show up in the movies though?) or Rose would have the opportunity to be more than background characters by being part of his crew, and we’d get some charming scenes about the bond he has with his squadron.

Again, admittedly he’d be the least deep character out of the big four, with his feelings not being explored nearly as much. But he probably doesn’t really hide his feelings much anyway. For any supplementary shorts involving him, they would be mainly lighter stories about his relationship with the OT cast and their families and his friendship with BB-8 and his crew, or action-y ones about missions he’s gone on; as opposed to, say, Finn, which would show his life as an expendable trooper who knew nothing but war, Cynical!Rey and her crushing loneliness and growing disillusionment to the world as she struggles to survive, or Padawan!Rey and her anguish and grappling with the Dark Side in the aftermath of the Jedi Massacre.

I can also imagine him being this adorable Shipper On Deck for Finnrey lol. Just looking at his two friends, all proud, maybe even tearing up like “*sniff* I’m not crying Buddy, you’re crying!” when the inevitable big kiss scene happens. I can also imagine him being the one to tell Finn that “Hey Finn, what you’re feeling is love!”…And then he has to spend hours trying to explain what love even is to him lol. He always has his friends’ back after all. Again, he’s most likely the one guy who isn’t completely socially inept among these dorks. I’ve also had the potential idea that he could maybe be a good cook, and he’d be the one who introduces Rey and Finn to actually good food. Some fics I’ve noticed tend to show him cooking stuff probably for that reason. It’s just kind of cute, and it sets a good example if despite his traditionally masculine, salt-of-the-earth character, he likes some less “manly” stuff like such and sees no shame in it.

He may sacrifice himself in a blaze of glory towards the end, especially because quite frankly he may lose his plot relevance as the story goes on, though it would definitely be way more respectful than a lot of deaths were treated in the sequels. But I also want him to stick around because I want to imagine him being all proud of Rey and Finn after they propose to each other and giddily planning their wedding, and I feel he could have some very good interactions with Ben to build on for any spinoffs taking place after the trilogy. Speaking of…

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo: AKA Yet Another Ball Of Lost Potential: Anti-Villain Addition. This is gonna be a doozy, so strap in. He was probably the most developed character here but that just makes his lost potential stick out even more, so I have so much to say about him.

About 27 probably. While people complain about it, I actually like him being a manchild. It makes him a bit unique in this series. It’s kind of like Vader if he didn’t get stuck in that suit and kept acting like Anakin. In fact, that could make him even more terrifying if that feeds into how destructive he can be; at first he seems like your typical intimidating SW villain, not even that bad a leader with a seemingly calm if tense, imposing air, but it eventually becomes clear he’s this terrifying, volatile berserker who can throw some of the most destructive tantrums ever, and is ultimately a pathetic, broken, pitiful shell of a man. …He just happens to be a very powerful shell of a man. Maybe if he becomes emotional or angry enough, he can unleash powerful shockwaves that basically blow up everything around him, or cause mini Force Storms, or cause any number of unpredictable effects. Though he’s not quite constantly raging either; these berserk states are indeed triggered by anger, but I’m thinking that they are also basically weaponized panic attacks, there’s a sense that it’s also a self-defense mechanism that he lapses into when emotions overwhelm him or when he otherwise feels threatened (though whether it’s necessarily involuntary all the time I’m not so sure; but while he’d definitely want to be able to trigger them voluntarily, there will always be some sense that he doesn’t have full control over it). Also a lot of his rage is directed inwards as well, much like with his grandfather. I thought that maybe his unpredictability in these rages would be the key to his destructiveness, though I can see how someone who is out of control would also pose a problem, no matter how powerful; so maybe this is when he becomes the most focused, becoming locked onto the elimination of the perceived threat at all costs, and/or he can be controlled by his Master more directly like some kind of attack animal.

Luke’s first padawan, or at least after Leia or Grogu (I might make him show up as Luke’s first knighted pupil and allude to this, providing more exposition on Kylo, and being one of the Jedi who help fight in the final battle as the Skywalkers go on to take on the final boss (and Grogu’s name being revealed would be a massive hype moment in The Mandalorian)). Due to his storied family, plus the name of his uncle and grandfather’s own master, he had heavy expectations on his (at the time) small shoulders from an early age. However, he had long been tormented by the Dark Side due to an untraceable curse placed upon him by Snoke, and probably a pre-existing anxious personality. The expectations placed on him, or maybe perhaps just self-imposed expectations, only worsened his turmoil, resulting in a festering mess of self-hatred, extreme perfectionism, and an obsession with familial honor and obsessive attachment to his family, especially Luke, that is a nasty combination of hero-worship and the abovementioned complexes and may border on almost incestuous.

There’s three ways for his backstory to go; “Underachiever Ben”, where Ben is either mediocre as a Jedi or still good but outperformed by others, or “Elsa Ben”, where he’s basically like Elsa from Frozen, possessing an extreme amount of power but barely able to control it, possibly due to Snoke’s curse, and a sort of middle ground, where Ben was super strong and a quick learner, but the dark side in him made Luke feel mixed about Ben’s increasing power, which Ben sensed. If the former, Ben becomes increasingly frustrated at himself for being such a “failure”. If “Elsa Ben”, there’s that, and also the added pain of him growing up terrified of himself and able to sense the terror he causes to those around him, so he was taken in by Luke so hopefully Luke could figure something out; he could have been destructive from the start, or maybe he started to become increasingly destructive despite his training. If the middle ground route, he takes Luke’s mixed emotions to mean that he doesn’t think he’s good enough. How severe Snoke’s curse would have been I’m not fully sure on; he could have voices in his head and nightmares keeping him up for days, chipping away at his sanity, tempting him to accept the darkness, or it may have just been an amplifying of his already unstable emotions. They could have even started as the latter and escalated to the former. But I’m thinking that to best explain his behavior I’m leaning towards the Elsa route. Eventually, his nightmares morphed into repeated visits by Darth Vader, his grandfather, who told him about the truth of his lineage and how he became Vader, slandering everything and everyone he ever admired or loved, telling him of his “true” destiny, and how he should give up and embrace it; unable to hear the real Anakin’s ghost screaming at him to not repeat his mistake. This extended campaign of mental torment stunted his emotional growth in many aspects, and at times he may seem to regress even more. Maybe other padawans were afraid of him because of this dark side presence, avoiding him, and/or were jealous of him because of his lineage and relation to Luke. He often felt entitled to be Luke’s right hand, getting jealous at other students and taking any reprimanding, no matter how gentle, extremely personally. Luke would have needed to struggle between not seeming to be biased towards his nephew and giving him the attention he needed, especially because Ben would feel like Han and Leia abandoned him because they weren’t able to help him, but considering how attached he is to Luke this would hurt him. So when Luke went to speak to him one night, or rushed in sensing an overwhelming dark side presence in his room, and was suddenly attacked by Snoke with a vision of what his nephew would become and making him go into fighting mode for a split second, drawing his weapon to protect Ben, and/or earlier admitted in anguish that he had no idea what was tormenting him despite his efforts, the straw broke the pedestal and he resigned himself to his “destiny”. Ironically he’s just exchanging one sky-high ideal for another, but he’s too emotionally immature to realize this, nor does he fully realize the fact that Snoke merely sees him as a malleable, gullible means to an end. Yet he still feels that pesky pull to the light, and he becomes increasingly frustrated with himself that even as a Dark side user, he still can’t be “perfect” or “worth” anything, not even able to sink himself into the darkness and finally rid himself of his pain. For all the privilege and power he has, or because of it, he always feels worthless.

Basically I want to break him down and make his pitifulness obvious, but that’s what makes him sympathetic. He’s nowhere as far gone as Vader, even if he wants to be, kind of like a reverse Jekyll and Hyde situation where the Hyde is dominant but Jekyll hangs on, so to speak? Maybe? Is that the right analogy? Or I guess it is kind of like Anakin but sort of not, but he’s rapidly going down the same route of hurting his family like his grandfather.

From researching a bit, his proposed behavior seems pretty close to the symptoms of BPD, which is actually pretty fitting because I was thinking Luke’s philosophy on the Force would be influenced by a more modern understanding of psychology, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy actually seems pretty in tune with what I understand to be how the Light Side of the Force works (I mean it even has basis in religious meditation…). Perhaps a mystical version of DBT was one of the things Luke was studying in exile. Though obviously it isn’t exactly BPD; portraying an actual, named mental illness not only has way too much baggage behind it, but it breaks immersion. And with him a lot of it will be the influence of the curse, though I think I would rather him have a personality that made him vulnerable to it from the start, so the curse had something to latch onto.

Going with the “Elsa Ben” scenario, his “real” personality is anxious and even a bit shy. While I like the idea of him being cheerful when he was very little, the shyness always being there is also a characterization I like. Combined with his lumbering physique from his teenage years onwards, this made him a kid who gave off an impression of being extremely dorky (an act that would probably be very natural for Adam Driver to pull off lol) and/or withdrawn and aloof, the latter of which may have made some other padawans think he thought highly of himself and start to resent him. Unlike Anakin he’d be probably a dutiful student, almost creepily obedient, probably actively distancing himself from rebellious behavior, though his way of speaking isn’t exactly super formal either because of the influence of the adults around him. In his obsessions lies a genuine love, even if twisted, of his “favorite person” so to speak. He was also a genuinely sweet kid who wanted to please these special people in his life. He could be said to be actually really selfless in a weird way, because ultimately he values familial honor and being “good enough” for whatever higher purpose more than he values himself. TROS implied some sassiness with that Han-like shrug, and while I can maybe see some of Han rubbing off on him like that, that might be something that started from him trying to copy his parents’ air of confidence, and another coping mechanism. He might, like Vader, have a 501st legion 2.0 which Phasma is in charge of and Finn is part of, and show a more nicer side to them. Perhaps he opened up one or two times to Finn specifically; I can see this image of him venting to him while Finn stands still like how someone might vent to their dog, not really expecting Finn to be listening (also sarcasm might help Kylo obscure his true anguish from Finn, because FO troopers don’t understand sarcasm probably).

He will be redeemed at the end… and live. Even if not necessarily paired with Rey. I’m neutral on Reylo (though admittedly I have a weak spot for pairs involving a strong woman and a troubled guy, so it’s kind of growing on me), but I really think this ship, or even centering the story strongly around a platonic relationship between these two, could have worked if it was built up strongly (Though if I were to go this route Finn would have to be established as a secondary character from the start, with Rey as the definitive main character, to focus on this). But either way, he’s definitely going to have to face the consequences of what he’s done, make up for his atrocities at least somewhat, and think about what he truly wants to do from now on. I can imagine him quietly reading stories to younglings as Rey, Finn, and Luke train some other pupils outside, or thanklessly working behind the scenes in other ways. For his haters out there, I could make the pill easier to swallow not just by making the reasons for his fall and how he was slowly and meticulously gaslit more clear, but also making him not as awful. Yes, he’s extremely destructive, but he could show more reluctance, or pause after his berserker rages, staring at the destruction he’s caused as the weight of what he’s done sinks in. He’d of course resent that he still has mercy left in him though. I don’t think that there will be a Starkiller Base, but even if there was he might argue with Hux a bit over whether it’s really necessary, until Hux sneers at him for having mercy, saying that Vader never hesitated when blowing up Alderaan, and Kylo reluctantly backs off.

…Actually, what about making him and Rey cousins? On one hand, if Rey is a Skywalker by blood, a direct daughter of the Master himself no less, Ben is now suddenly freed from carrying the weight of the family legacy on his own. On the other hand… He basically loses the thing he has spent his entire life building his identity around; since his fall would have partially been because of his obsession with Luke, he may become jealous and extremely resentful of her, and/or take this as even more reason for Luke to not “need” him anymore. Or perhaps, he pulls a reverse of “I sense the conflict in you” with her, wanting to “save” her from embracing the Light and wanting her to embrace the “true” Skywalker destiny with him. He could even be overjoyed that he could have someone else alongside him to carry on the legacy with; in this scenario he could have an unhealthy obsession with her that might also start crossing into “are you sure this isn’t incest?” territory. Yeah it’s a “join me and we can rule together” scenario again, but it would be done differently. Or perhaps it’s a mix of some of those. Exploring that and how he chooses to take it could be extremely interesting. Maybe it’s resolved when Anakin tells him to “finish what he started”… not just by saving the galaxy, but by also living the rest of his life loving his family not as an ideal, but as family, like Anakin wasn’t allowed to. And platonic Reylo sounds nice too. Though that’s going to make all that shipping fanart so awkward lol. Well it’s not as if Star Wars shippers haven’t been cockblocked by incest before (though his obsession with family and extremely questionable mental state would probably make such shippers go nuts anyway…).

And going off of Poe being close to his parents, while the main interactions with Kylo from the heroes would be Rey, Finn if he’s the second protagonist, Luke, and his parents, I can see potential for an interesting dynamic and some interesting conversations between them too. Much like how he might react to Rey being Luke’s daughter, I can see him being jealous of Poe and resenting him for being his “replacement”, but after his redemption I can see potential for seeing the start of a friendship between them in epilogue comics, novels, or a mini-series. It would be pretty in-character for my version of Poe to want to help rehabilitate his sort-of stepbrother. Also I now have the adorable mental image of Ben quietly helping Poe (and maybe the rest of his squad) decorate and arrange Rey and Finn’s wedding, or the two surprising Finn with a very elaborate bachelor party, though I’m not sure if those exist in this universe. And because of a certain Inside Llewyn Davis scene I’m also imagining Poe getting Ben to sing with him and BB-8. It’s adorable.

Also if both Rey and Finn are the main heroes, he might have some kind of link with both of them, and the main duo would both contrast him in their own way (lonely scavenger who no one expected anything of and nameless trooper who defected from the First Order vs. someone who grew up in greatness but seemingly threw it away and chose to be in the First Order; and much like Kylo Finn in particular has been manipulated from childhood to do heinous things, so he may sympathize with his situation). Maybe he’s the missing piece needed for both him and the leading duo to reach their full potential, or the main duo are the last piece needed to finally break Snoke’s curse on him, or something. Or it could simply just be Finn showing his growth and strength of character by understanding and forgiving Kylo, despite him now understanding just how badly the First Order treated him, which makes Rey (who, again, might start as this super cynical scavenger or may have seen Kylo go berserk and massacre her friends and betray her Master) come around to the idea. In this scenario it may actually be even more important to emphasize that Rey and Finn are two making up a whole, so as not to bog stuff down. It’s possible to ship Finnrey and want Kylo to have a better ending, what a shock!

Maybe Rey and Kylo could switch places, and he comes back to the light in SW8, which is an idea I’ve seen floated and is something that would make the story truly unique. He would seem like basically a less stable Vader 2.0 at the start, but over SW8 he could be seen breaking more and more out of his own terrible mindset, coming to a head in a cathartic realization that bring him back into the arms of his beloved family. It would also add an interesting dynamic that he and Finn have to be equals now. But that may mean that Rey would have to be killed off and I’m not so sure about that.

Though speaking of her, since in all these scenarios a common thread is that she understandably doesn’t like him, it would be a bit of a twist if Finn sees the good in him but Rey, if she’s a Skywalker, his cousin, doesn’t.

And to bring up Poe again, I also really like the idea of them having been childhood friends and thus knowing each other before the events of SW7; after all, they’re around similar age, it isn’t that far-fetched to think that former Rebel families would be still pretty close to each other, and I’ve seen some adorable fanfics with the concept. It also adds connection between them and adds even more tragedy, even if this relationship may have to be elaborated more in supplementary material due to time. I can definitely Poe speaking like an old friend to Kylo and constantly calling him “Ben”, to his irritation. The abovementioned feeling of being replaced could be what caused Ben to suddenly break off the friendship. And making the main cast kind of tight-knit like this might also help make the cast easier to manage.

Granted, there is the possibility of killing him off, though. I heard that one of the initial ideas for TFA was apparently that Kylo would be a reverse Vader, falling deeper and deeper into the Dark Side as the trilogy goes on. In fact, this may have been where Kylo killing Han may have been leading to. This actually sounded like a super cool idea, but considering the backstory I laid out I thought it would be way too bittersweet for the concluding movie of the saga, and if one were to say Kylo basically has BPD… That might lead to some unfortunate implications. I mean nothing is stopping me from not using the Elsa backstory, and if I didn’t use it maybe this route would be pretty viable, but I’m kind of starting to get attached to it.

—

Other characters:

Hux: I’ve never really been a villain person. I mean I liked sympathetic villains, yeah (but even then I preferred anti-heroes for a while; I’m talking like nothing beyond N from Pokémon levels of “evil”), but straight-up villains I just have merely seen as obstacles. Like back in my Smash fic days I was often like “Eh… They’re there… Because they want to take over the world I guess?”. It’s why I’m having trouble with Snoke probably lol. But for some reason Hux interests me. If I take a guess it’s probably because of the potential he had as an actual foil to Kylo in his own faction. He had so much potential as a villain, and in having this tense dynamic play out. In fact he does seem to have been set up that way in SW7. But yeah, I imagine him as one coldhearted bastard. His backstory, though not elaborated on in the movies, would be much like TFA supplementary material set him up; he’d still have killed his father, but while yes, Brendol was abusive and strict, Armitage didn’t kill him completely because he was a young man who wanted to break free from his strict father, but also genuinely because he knew doing so would be good for his standing. Unlike Kylo when he (most likely) kills Han, he doesn’t regret killing Brendol at all. While he might have a tragic backstory kind of explaining his behavior, it doesn’t bother him at all, while Kylo, who considering what happened to him and how he’s literally under a curse you’d think would have a much steeper fall into unabashed evil, is constantly conflicted. It’s a very Sith Lord-like backstory funnily enough… In fact I’m pretty sure that Palpatine had a backstory very similar to this with his parents.

He’s a very logical, analytical, brutally pragmatic person, and he looks upon Kylo’s emotional state with condescension. I’m increasingly starting to like the idea that he’s somehow able to talk Kylo down, while still being hardly nice. Perhaps he preys upon Kylo’s constant need for approval from others, even if he doesn’t like the person in question (this may also be why Kylo reacts so strongly to Finn escaping as well, in fact. He genuinely cares about people’s loyalty, even from literal no-name soldiers). Though I can’t decide whether he’s this deceptively charming snake or basically an evil Spock. I also can’t decide between him being in this constant state of “Why do I have to babysit this manchild” or giving absolutely no visible f*cks around Kylo no matter what happens, or even straight-up trolling him often, toying with his emotions because it amuses him; preferably two or a bit of all somehow? I can see him using having met Vader as a child to mock Kylo for how much of a pale, childish imitation he is, or reminding Kylo of how much better he is as a leader objectively; perhaps that’s what he holds over Kylo’s head. Or him explaining to Kylo how he was raised by less than stellar parenting and tried so hard to live up to his strict father too… So he brutally murdered Brendol in cold blood (possibly with Phasma’s help), became a better admiral than he ever was, and got over it “Like an adult. Unlike you.”. They’d be in this constant state of delicate, tense equality; Kylo can easily overpower Hux if he pisses him off a bit too much, but Hux is able to walk that fine edge seemingly without much effort.

But when he realizes whatever grand cosmic plot he and the entire First Order has been participating in this whole time is when, ironically, there would probably be a really dramatic villainous breakdown from him. It’s kind of a Zuko and Azula situation with Kylo and Hux perhaps? Or is this Hux more a mix of Azula and Zhao’s roles rather?

——

Worldbuilding stuff: Since I’m more a character person, there isn’t much here, but because the worldbuilding was another issue in the movies I’ll also be adding these.

The New Republic isn’t nuked in the first movie. In fact it stays there for the duration of the trilogy and the hero faction is now its armed forces, not The Resistance (Also that name makes no sense. Seriously. At least name them The Peacekeeper Corps or Vigilantes or something, or since they’re basically Leia’s personal military maybe the Organa Free Army or Organa Corps or something of that sort. No wonder people mistakenly call them The Rebels sometimes. It’s a similar setup to Chrom’s Shepherds in Fire Emblem Awakening, albeit with a better relationship with the kingdom; it would be downright strange if the Shepherds called themselves The Resistance despite literally existing with the queen’s permission, and it still is here. Hell, Leia’s Shepherds is a better name). There would be elaboration on the political stuff going on behind the scenes, and if Leia isn’t a Jedi that’s her plotline probably, though a big part of me wants her to be part of the action instead of being stuck on the homeworld.

Meanwhile, The First Order is made up of Imperial Remnants and people and planets who were unsatisfied with the democratic but still new and fragile New Republic. Basically think White Russians if the Soviets weren’t also awful. It happens a lot in history. While it may have some mining planets in its orbit (not literally, you know what I mean) so it can plausibly refurbish anything Kylo wrecks with his tantrums, Starkiller Base is probably a bit much, and a lot of their equipment might be old Imperial or Rebel stuff, or stolen from the New Republic, with new stuff being produced but not in overly high quantity. Some of the equipment deemed less important might even be kind of crappy due to how old they are. They’d probably be at most an equally powerful faction to the Republic, if not smaller than them, seeming more like a terrorist cell. I don’t have much of an idea why Snoke would want to be involved in it yet though.

But while the First Order might be smaller, the New Republic is hindered by it just now finally gaining its footing, and the military previously only having been used for peacekeeping and sniping stray Imperial remnants. Because it’s peacetime, it might have been kept pretty small, and also the military academies are literally not even 30 years old at this point, so new that it’s possible Poe, despite his youth, was one of the earliest graduates; one of the military’s most high-ranking officers is literally a scoundrel with no formal training - even if he is good at his job - it isn’t exactly a well-oiled machine, though its less rigid, casual structure also does benefit it in some aspects. Also the FO can easily use Kylo as intimidation, and its upper staff is nothing if not driven and motivated as well as ruthless. They may engage in more underhanded actions like sabotage and suicide bombers, or rely on small elite units like the Knights of Ren or small companies of troopers, to poke holes in the enemy just as much as open combat. And maybe if all else fails Snoke causes something really bad to happen seemingly out of nowhere.

While I do think that making the baddies an Empire 2.0 is an… uncreative decision, I want to keep Finn’s backstory, plus it fits Kylo’s story too so blah, I kind of have to keep it. Plus I want to do Phasma and Hux justice. Maybe Snoke or whatever it serves turns into a giant Eldritch abomination and have no use for the FO anymore. And again, reactionary forces are a thing that have existed throughout early modern history. But as already mentioned, due to the nature of the First Order’s existence, maybe the Stormtroopers aren’t kidnapped, but they were orphans picked off the streets, and/or some more dedicated Imperial parents gave them their children? I had the idea that Troopers like Finn are “Junior Troopers”, the child slave type, while older members, “Senior Troopers”, would be legit Imperial revanchists and former troopers. Maybe there’s a separate company of Juniors who think they’re cool by fighting for the First Order, but generally Juniors would be the lowest on the social rung, though some might make it into higher positions, and don’t know any other life than what they have now. Though I also like the idea that Finn was part of an elite unit directly connected to Kylo Ren like the 501st, so he has a reason to be particularly hurt by his betrayal (but that could throw a wrench in the whole Finn was a faceless cog in the machine thing). They’re pretty Prussian in command structure; officers work under mission-tactics, but the rank-and-file are machine-like in their discipline, more than even some actual droids. The Republic’s forces also probably engage in mission-tactics a lot, except how far it is acceptable goes way further down the chain of command, so stuff like the Holdo situation doesn’t happen. If that situation were to happen when mission-tactics were to be expected Poe’s independent action would be seen as reasonable. This would have potential for very interesting battles and tactics, though I’d need a lot of help with those because I’m the furthest thing from a tactician you can find (but even I can tell the bomber scene from TLJ was dumb, which should say something).

I kind of realized that it’s possible that the four OT legacy characters may end up basically representing four major aspects of the New Republic; the Jedi (Luke), law and justice (Leia, if she’s a senator), the military (Han, if he’s a general), and economics (Lando). I think some worldbuilding into how the republic functions should be explored through these characters as they move the story forward, except for the Jedi since they’re obviously a central focus, and Luke might very well be introduced after them, and the military will also get focus for obvious reasons, and Poe exists. The information definitely needs to be conveyed as efficiently and organically as possible through the story, because there’s two, likely three, equally important main characters and an unholy amount of secondary characters who aren’t exactly minor.

May write more later idk. I need to be doing other stuff…

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polygarnstars · 3 years

Text

facts about me that you could state to my face that would hurt more than that ask did

I own three copies of Okami HD, and have beaten exactly zero of them

I paid $40 for Balan Wonderworld, knowing full well that any enjoyment I drew from it as a game would be ironic, and I plan to spend another $10 on the novel so I can be mad about the fact that approximately two percent of the story actually made it into the game

I played Kingdom Hearts as a kid and was attracted to Zexion, and given I am currently attracted to another edgy squenix bastard with emo hair in the form of Therion Octopathtraveler, my taste has apparently not changed since I was ten

I played Sonic 06 and thought it wasn’t terrible

I learned and did a partial speedrun of PMD Red Rescue Team for the sake of getting on someone else’s Let’s Play of the remake

I tried streaming once, only to have to stop because my capture card ate my sound card

The last week and a half of my Spotify history is comprised almost entirely of the Persona 5 soundtrack and various covers of those songs

I’m a furry who can’t even decide on his own fursona’s species or design

I spend so much time reading Nuzlockes, challenge runs of Pokemon games, games for children, I was brought on as staff of the official forums

I do the aforementioned work as Nuzforums staff knowing full well that it is a volunteer position while I am unemployed in real life

I watched the Kirby anime as a kid instead of doing my schoolwork. Years later, I plan to rewatch it in its entirety instead of seeking employment

I voted for Bandana Waddle Dee in the Smash Ballot

On that topic, I’m a Kirby main! I played through the entirety of World of Light using only Kirby! Like, I love Kirby, but who the fuck mains him unironically like that? I don’t even do that strat of succing your opponents and spitting them out over the blast zone where they can’t recover or taking them down with you, like, cmon

I was in anime club in high school

Despite owning it, I’ve never played Among Us, but I still watch other people play it regularly

I didn’t realize the Guardians of Ga’hoole series was a WW2 allegory until I read the TV Tropes page in high school

I got into Kingdom Hearts for the Final Fantasy stuff, and yet to this day the only Final Fantasy game I’ve ever beaten was the DS rerelease of Final Fantasy III

I 100%ed Breath of the Wild less than three weeks after it released, and proceeded to help various streamers do the same, because I had literally nothing better to do with my time

As a teenager I uploaded two mashups, one of All Star and In The End, the other of All Star and Lonely Rolling Star, to YouTube because in the summer the only device I had to get online with was a Nintendo 3DS, I wanted to be able to listen to them year round, and my 3DS would not play Soundcloud uploads

I’m currently making a mashup of the Balan Wonderworld credits theme and Wonderwall

I think Pokemon peaked in Gen V and I trust Spike Chunsoft with the series more than I trust modern GameFreak

I have owned literally every Animal Crossing game except Amiibo Festival, but I do still own Amiibo from the sets released for it

I’m still waiting for Pikmin 4!

I’m still waiting for another real Chibi-Robo sequel!

I’ve still not beaten the prior games in the series despite owning them, but I’m still waiting for Bayonetta 3!

I dip dill pickle spears in chocolate pudding Snack Packs and I enjoy it

I know all the lyrics to the opening of Pichu Bros. in Party Panic, that anime special that was viewable exclusively on Pokemon Channel

I plan to romance Ann in my first playthrough of Persona 5 Royal purely for the sake of cucking the cat. I do not plan to do this because I dislike Morgana, but simply because I think it would be funny

I say KEKW, Pog, OMEGALUL, and Sadge in real life, with my actual human mouth

I have spent money on microtransactions for mobile games

I bought well over a dozen packs of the Unbroken Bonds Pokemon TCG expansion in an attempt to obtain a rainbow rare Reshiram & Charizard GX. I found zero of them

Until earlier today, when I cleaned out my drawers of old clothes I no longer wear, I owned two Big Bang Theory shirts. Instead of burning them like a reasonable person, I donated them to my local Goodwill for some other poor fool to find

At the age of 23, I still cannot swim

I’ve gotten used to every other bug in my house, including the bees in the walls and the stinkbugs who refuse to just stay outside, but whenever I see a silverfish I consider committing arson

I collect dice but do not play D&D or any other TTRPG, I just think they’re neat

I’m too physically weak to take apart a PS4 controller

I haven’t ridden a bike in a decade, and at this point if I tried I would probably fall over or ride uncontrollably into the street and be hit by a car

I still have art on my wall of a Pokemon character I made in sixth grade at the absolute latest

I buy sketchbooks despite not drawing traditionally literally ever

I cannot draw on a normal tablet, because I look at my hands instead of the screen, and so I had to buy a 2-in-1 laptop to do art

I bite my nails

I compulsively pluck the hairs from my legs

Despite compulsively plucking the hairs on my legs, I cannot be bothered to do the same for the ones that have grown into a unibrow

When I was a child a goose whacked me with its wing

I’ve been bitten by two dogs, one of which bit me twice

Despite domesticated animals hating me, I’m the world’s worst Disney Princess, having taught a grey catbird to recognize Zelda music and having watched the entirety of Avatar the Last Airbender with a baby mourning dove perched in the bush outside the window watching with me

I spell grey grey instead of gray despite being American

I’m American

I’m still on tumblr in 2021

do with this information as you will

#new ask game: send me anon hate but make it targeted

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thegreatestofheck · 4 years

Text

Ocean and Alcohol Pt. 9 ✘JJ Maybank✘

part one! part two! part three! part four! part five! part six! part seven! part eight!

(not my gif! all credit for this absolute beauty of a gif goes to rudypankows. Thank you for blessing us with this. Thank you.)

Word Count - 5916 Warnings - A little swearing, brief mention of self harm Synopsis - The search for the gold is afoot. JJ visits you one morning and you say something you probably shouldn’t have. You and the Pogues find the Royal Merchant, but it isn’t everything you thought it would be. Taglist - @bitterbethany @lovelymaybankk @ilymarkchan @downbytheouterbanks @clearcolourlessglass @obxwriterfan @tangledinsparkles @chill-sushi A/N - Hey guys! Sorry for the slow update on this one. I’ve been really struggling to write the canon scenes, but I think I managed decently with this one! Things are gonna start getting heated in the next chapter, so be ready for that. I pray that you guys are staying safe out there and doing all you can to fight for justice. I love you all. Never forget it. If you need me, my DMs are always open for any conversation you need to have. Please rely on your friend’s and even strangers during this time and take care of yourselves! As always, stay safe, stay healthy, stay groovy.

Listening to John B sob was heart-wrenching. His father’s words echoed in your own head as John B clung to the wall, the only thing that was keeping him from falling to his knees. Kie curled herself around him in an attempt to hold him together. Part of you wanted to hug him too, if it would stop the sound of him crying. It broke your heart and you weren’t sure why.

After what seemed like a lifetime, John B managed to stifle his tears and stand up straight. Kie stepped back and away, closer to you. John B turned to look at you guys and you saw the tears that still ran down his face, eyes rimmed red.

“Why...Why don’t we go get some fresh air?” You suggested when no one said anything. There were a few half-hearted nods from the others. Kie was the first to move. She plucked her ukelele off the floor before walking out the front door. Pope and JJ followed after her.

You waited, watching as John B put his hand back on the wall to keep him steady. His eyes were glued to the tape recorder on the table. You took a shaking step toward him and placed your hand on his forearm. He flicked his eyes over to look at you. With a small nod, you gave his arm a short squeeze.

The fresh air was good. The Chateau had begun to feel stuffy, unwelcoming, like a dark cloud loomed over the building. So, when you left, the night air was comforting. The darkness of the night was starting to fade as the moon started to dip toward the horizon. You would need to get home soon, at least for a few hours. But for now, your friend needed all the support he could get and you weren’t about to leave him.

The five of you sat on the dock, everyone except for Pope perched on the railing. You sat beside JJ, one of his hands resting on your knee. The night was silent, save for the sound of the water lapping against the dock and Kie strumming her ukelele.

“How much was it again?” JJ asked, breaking the silence. A single light shone above John B’s head, illuminating the tears on his cheeks and the grimace in his lips.

“Four hundred mil,” Pope said, tapping his foot. JJ sighed, sliding his hand off of your leg and turning to face the others. You suddenly felt cold at the loss of his touch.

“Let’s talk split,” he said. You closed your eyes so he wouldn’t see you roll them. “Now, before we say evenly, may I remind you that I am the one that can properly defend us from those groupers who were after us.”

JJ pulled the gun from his pocket and you glared at him, sliding off the railing to sit next to Pope. You hated that thing in his hand. You hated it because you wanted it so badly.

“Protection isn’t cheap,” JJ continued as John B took a long drink from his beer can.

“You have no training,” Pope said. You wished he wouldn’t feed into JJ’s antics. You pulled your legs up to your chest, settling your chin between your knees.

“YouTube, bro! That’s at least a five percent bump right there.”

“You haven’t-”

“Any objections?” You lifted your head, hand following. “Didn’t think so.”

You rolled your eyes and put your head back down. Kie raised her hand with a small shake of her head and Pope scoffed.

“I didn’t hear any, so-” JJ said, shrugging his shoulders.

“What would you do with the money, Pope?” Kie asked with a small smile, trying to turn the conversation away from JJ.

“Pay for college in advance,” Pope said as if he could see it happening right in front of his eyes. “And also textbooks. Those are expensive. Elm?”

“Wait til I’m 18. Hire a damn good lawyer and get my brother the hell out of that house,” you said, raising your beer can as if it was a toast. Or a promise.

“You’re going to use your money to move out?” Kie asked. You nodded your head, taking a drink.

“Once I get custody of my brother and settle us somewhere safe, you guys can have the rest,” you said. You finished off the rest of your beer, watching the water through the wooden railing. “What about you, Kie?”

“Yeah, what does a socialist do when she’s rich?” Pope asked, turning to his friend. Kie laughed, but she looked up at the sky, thinking.

“I just wanna make a double album,” Kie said with a smile on her lips. “About OBX. The Pogues. You know, the way Catch a Fire is about Kingston.”

You smiled at her idea. There was something so wholesome about it. She looked so free to do whatever she wanted with her money. She was going to take it and do something she loved with no obligations, no fears, no worry. You were almost jealous of her.

“Record it at Marley Studio, Peter Tosh producing-” She continued, a dreamer’s smile still on her face. You smiled along with her. “Peter Tosh is-” Pope started.

“Peter Tosh is dead, I know.” Kie raised her can of beer. “Spirit of Peter Tosh will never die.”

“Amen,” you echoed, lifting your empty beer can.

“I know what I’ll do,” JJ said, looking down at you. “I’m gonna get a big ass house on Figure 8 and go full Kook.”

“You’re gonna go full Kook?” Pope asked in disbelief.

“Yup,” JJ said. You looked back at him and smiled. “Gonna make a marble statue of myself, and then I’m gonna get a koi pond. Put a bunch of those fish-”

“I’m never visiting,” Kie said with a laugh.

“Can Kid and I come live with you?” You asked, only half-joking.

“Of course, Babe,” JJ said, ruffling your hair with his hand. You swatted his hand away from your head, but with a grin.

“What are you going to do with the money, JB?” Pope asked, looking over at his friend. Everyone else turned to him. His face was set in stone, staring out over the water. Finally, he nodded and turned his head into the light, looking at his friends. There was a small smile pulling at the edge of his lips.

“To going full Kook.”

***

You drove back home, your mind reeling. The Pogues had their plan to go to the hotel where JJ worked to look up the coordinates that John B’s dad left for the Royal Merchant. You could feel the gold at the tip of your fingers. The answer to your problems, the fulfillment of your dream to get your brother out of the clutches of your father, was right there. You could see it in front of your eyes and you wanted it now more than ever. It killed you that you couldn’t be beside them the entire time, but you had to be extra careful now more than ever if you really wanted to get Kid away from your dad.

It was around 4 in the morning when you flopped into your bed. Sleep consumed you rather quickly. When you woke up at 9 the next morning, you wondered if you were ever going to get a good night’s sleep with all the time you spent running around with the Pogues.

Your dad was already at work when you woke up. There was a note on your door from Kid, telling you that he went over to Dex’s until Dad was home. It made you smile. You were glad that Kid was comfortable enough to leave the house under Dad’s nose. You had always wanted him to have a normal life where he could just go over to his friend’s house without fear of being punished for it later.

You would wait around until your friend’s needed you, as you always did these days. Instead of moping around, you turned your music up as loud as it would go and started to clean the kitchen. Cleaning the kitchen slowly became cleaning the dining room and then cleaning the foyer until you had cleaned almost the entire downstairs. A knock at your door startled you, spinning around to look at the front door.

You looked over at the clock, wondering who might be there. Kid and Dad would have just walked through the front door without knocking first. You tried to tell yourself that it was probably just the mailman. Walking across the room, tiptoeing, you heard the knock again.

A smile broke across your face as you pulled the door open to find Pope and JJ standing on your porch.

“We have a delivery for, uh, ‘one hot babe’,” JJ said, pretending to hold a package under his arm. You crossed your arms, leaning against the doorframe with an amused smile on your face as Pope groaned.

“I’m sorry. I think you have the wrong house,” you said, tilting your head to the side.

“Oh no,” JJ grinned, eyes scanning your body. “This is definitely the right house.”

“God, okay, please stop,” Pope begged, squeezing his eyes together. “Elm, we need your help.”

“Of course,” you said, standing straighter. “What do you guys need? Did you guys find anything?”

“Yeah, we found the place where the coordinates are. We just have to get a drone to get us down there,” JJ said.

“We’re stealing a drone,” Pope said, side-eyeing JJ.

“It’s not stealing. It’s borrowing.”

“We are taking a drone from its rightful owners and using it for our own, selfish purposes.”

“Okay, stealing or borrowing, whatever. What do you need me to do?” You asked. JJ and Pope both turned to look at you.

“We need to borrow your car.”

***

You drove behind the van, Kie sitting in your passenger seat. The windows were rolled down and music thrummed through the car. Kie hand her feet sticking out the window, bouncing her legs to the beat.

“Can I tell you something?” Kie asked suddenly, turning to you and lifting her sunglasses onto her head.

“Sure.”

“You have to promise not to laugh at me.”

“I would never laugh at you, Kie.”

“Okay, here goes.” Kie sucked in a deep breath. “John B kissed me.”

You nearly stomped your foot on the break.

“What?”

“Yeah, a few days ago. I didn’t want to say anything at first, but John B already told the boys and I didn’t want you to feel left out of the loop.”

“I, um, I appreciate it, Kie.” You cleared your throat. “Did...did you kiss him back?”

“I just want to be friends with him,” Kie said, looking back out the window. “He knows that. I told him.”

“I don’t really know what I should say, but I could punch him if you’d like,” you told her, glancing over in her direction. Kie laughed and shook her head.

“Thank you for the support, Elm, but you don’t have to punch him. I just don’t want it to be awkward is all. You know I…” Kie looked down at her hands. “I wasn’t there for him when his dad went missing. I’m just trying to make up for it now, but I guess I was sending some signals that I hadn’t meant to.”

“I’m sure John B knows you’re there for him. And the air is clear now, right? He knows that you want to be just friends so you can go back to doing all the silly friend things you did before without feeling awkward, right?” Advice wasn’t something you were entirely good at. You had never really had to give it to anyone before. Or pep talks. But Kie smiled at you and then turned to look out the window.

“You’re right.” She dropped her sunglasses back onto her nose. “Thank you, Elm.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

You two fell quiet once again, listening to the music. Maybe one day you would be able to sit with someone, listen to their problems, and give them sound advice, but you guessed that today wasn’t that day.

Up in front of you, JJ stuck his head out of the van window. You couldn’t help but smile when he opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue like a dog.

“What an idiot,” you mumbled to yourself, hiding a smile behind your hand. JJ blew a kiss to you from the window. You made a display of catching it and pressing your palm against your cheek.

“You’ve got that boy whipped, you know,” Kie said, watching with a smile. You turned to look at her, hoping she would elaborate. “When you’re not around, he barely stops talking about you.”

You weren’t sure why your smile started to falter.

“He’s got me pretty whipped too,” you said, watching the wind blow through his hair. He lifted his face up to the sun and you felt your heart warm at the sight of him.

“Yeah.” Kie smiled. “I can see that.”

You drove up to the salvage yard, seeing the van a few feet back. As you and Kie stepped out of the car, you looked back to get a thumbs up from each of the boys. You returned it with a smile. You and Kie both walked up to the gate.

“Hello?” Kie waved at the security gate. “Excuse me?”

You smiled as sweetly as you could when the guard walked up to the gate.

“Can I help you, ladies?” The guard asked. You looked over at Kie and then bit your lip. “My car,” you said. “It has a flat.”

“Do you think you can help us?” Kie asked, with a smile all her own.

The guard looked back and forth between the two of you for a moment before his lips twitched upward and he nodded his head.

“Yeah, I can help.”

“Yeah?”

He turned back toward his guard shack. You turned to Kie, both of your smiles dropping.

“It’s too easy,” she said, squinting against the sunlight.

“Way too easy.”

When he came back out, carrying a toolbox, you waved him over toward your car.

“It’s the back one,” you said as Kie leaned up against the door of your car. “It wasn’t like this when I left the house. I have no idea what would have caused this to happen.”

“Well,” the guard said as he set his tools down and crouched to the floor. “If you hit something sharp on the road…”

As he explained it to you, you met Kie’s gaze and rolled your eyes. She shook her head and laughed quietly, looking at the ground. When you glanced up at the gate, you saw the boys scamper into the salvage yard before the gate shut. You could only hope they’d find the drone quickly.

But time ticked on and the guy was almost finished with the tire. You met Kie’s gaze again and it was clear that she was thinking the same thing. With a small motion of your head, she went around to the other side of the car to try and let air out of another tire. You lowered yourself to the gravel and gave the security guard a smile.

“Thank you for helping us,” you said, reaching out to put a hand over his as he started to put his tools away. “I wish there was some way we could repay you.”

The guard gave a soft smile, not the kind that you expected.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, pulling his hand away and closing his bag. “Just glad I could help.”

You stood after him and hurried after him as he walked to the other side of the car. There was a series of barks from inside the salvage yard and you sincerely hoped that it was just JJ barking at snakes again. The guard scowled, stopping and staring at the gate.

“What was that?” he asked.

You shrugged, jumping up onto the hood of your car.

“Nothing important,” you said, kicking your feet back and forth. You brought his attention back to you for a few moments, before he walked a few steps farther and saw Kie desperately trying to let air out of another tire with her hair clip.

“What’s going on?” He asked, looking up quickly when the barking sound returned. You glanced down at Kie, who looked up at you, cringing. Neither of you had the chance to say anything before the security guard took off back toward the salvage yard.

“Shit,” Kie hissed, pushing herself off the ground. “We gotta go.”

“The boys-”

“They’ll be fine.”

You slid off of the hood of your car and jumped into the front seat, starting the car. You drove off as soon as Kie was in the other seat, only feeling sort of bad about leaving the boys behind as you rattled down the street, away from the salvage yard.

You met up back at the Wreck, starved and exhausted. When you saw the boys pull up in the van, you let out a happy sigh and walked toward them. Pope was the first one out of the car, still shaking from the adrenaline. You walked up to him and threw your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug.

“What happened in there?” you asked, pulling back and moving toward JJ.

“There was a dog,” Pope said as he walked toward Kie.

“Yeah, we heard it,” Kie said.

“Thought you guys were going to distract the security guard,” JJ said, wrapping an arm around you as you stepped up to him.

“Eh, we tried,” you said. “Maybe we should have sent you to seduce him instead.”

JJ grinned.

“That probably would have worked better. I’m very seductive.”

“Yeah, you are,” John B piped in, walking around from the other side of the van.

“Come on in, guys,” Kie said. “Dad’s got some food for us.”

“I love your dad,” you said, moving to follow after her as she and Pope walked up the ramp. But JJ pulled you back, putting his hands on the side of your face and pressing a kiss against your lips. You smiled, looping your fingers through the belt loops of his pants to pull him closer.

He broke the kiss and brushed a piece of hair behind your ear.

“What was that for?” You asked him, trying to bite back a smile. JJ shrugged, dropping his hand to rest against your collarbone.

“I haven’t been able to kiss you yet today,” he said.

“In that case, maybe you should do it again.”

He leaned down with a smile, but before his lips could touch yours, someone knocked on the glass window. You both turned around. All three of your friends were standing there, holding plates of food. Pope faked a gag. John B held up a thumbs up. Kie held the food up higher.

“Should we go in?” You asked, looking at them still. JJ sighed.

“It does smell pretty bitchin’,” he said, running a hand down your bare arm, leaving goosebumps. You leaned up on your toes and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before turning toward the Wreck.

***

The next day, your dad hadn’t gone to work, which meant you weren’t going out.

JJ knocked on your window pretty early in the morning. You had to tell him that you couldn’t go. He pouted, but you grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and pulled him closer. A short kiss from you and his pout was gone.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said, only a breath away from him. JJ nodded his head, not taking his eyes off of your lips.

“I’m sure they would be cool if they had to wait a few minutes for me,” JJ said, breathing heavily. You smiled, leaning down and kissing his nose. The tips of his ears burned red. Before you could retreat back into your room, JJ grabbed hold of your chin and pulled you back to him.

Your stomach butterflied when his lips met yours, goosebumps littering your skin. You melted at his touch as his hand left your chin, finding it’s resting place on the nape of your neck, the metal of his rings cool against your skin. Every cell in your body wanted to pull him into your room right then and there, but with your dad right down the hall, you knew better.

Still, you took your sweet time.

He still tasted like the beach. Salt and sand on his lips and you never wanted anything more. You could feel his heart pounding in his chest and it was beating to the same rhythm as yours.

JJ tugged gently on the bottom of your shirt, his teeth grazing against your skin. A quiet gasp escaped your lips when you managed to suck in an ounce of air. Hearing JJ struggle for breath made your stomach flip in a thousand different ways. After what Kie told you in the car about him and the way he kissed you know, confidence grew inside of you that he could possibly like you just as much as you liked him. Maybe, somehow, he needed you the same way.

Neither of you wanted him to leave. If you could stay here, leaning out of your window, you would. Even though you were still in the house that brought you so much pain, the house that had you tiptoeing around like the floor was made of shattered glass, being near JJ made you feel safe. A word floated through your head, a word that you had never been able to claim before.

Home.

You hadn’t meant to say it, especially not then. The words had been playing in your mind for days, weeks maybe. Every time you looked at him, every time he looked at you, every moment you were just sitting there together, every sound of his laugh, every time he smiled, every time he made you dance. The words bounced throughout your mind, always at the tip of your tongue. And every time you had managed to keep the words locked behind your teeth.

Up until now.

“I love you.”

You regretted the words as soon as you said them, pulling back through the window. JJ just stared at you, his lips parted and his eyes wide. Your face burned and your heart constricted in your chest. If the floor could open up and swallow you whole, you wished it would. Oh, to be anywhere other than where you were right now. You shouldn’t have said it. You should have just kept it to yourself.

“I, uh, I have to go,” JJ said, turning away from the window. Ice settled against your bones, freezing you from the inside out. The sun was hot and blaring, but still, you started to shiver.

“Yeah. Yeah.” You refused to look at him and he wouldn’t look at you. “Say...say hi to everyone for me.”

“Sure.”

“See you.”

“Yeah.”

You watched, pressing your lips together as tight as you could, as he climbed down from the roof. You didn’t want to watch him run across the grass away from your house, so you pulled the curtains together.

Your hands shook as you pressed your fingers to your temples, pacing back and forth. You weren’t going to cry, there was no point in it. It was stupid. It was the heat of the moment, you said something you shouldn’t have. You would apologize when you saw him tomorrow. There was no need to panic.

Still, your heart thudded so painfully, it hurt your ears. It felt like you couldn’t breathe all over again, like you were drowning, but not in the good way. You thought you were going to be sick. Sweat beaded down your neck as goosebumps still scattered across your legs. You thought you might combust from the inside. Part of you wished that you would.

When someone knocked on your door, you whirled around, still dazed. You quickly pulled your hair up into a ponytail in an attempt to hide your panic before calling out to whoever was on the other side.

Kid peaked his head in.

“You good?” He asked.

“Yeah, why I wouldn’t be?” you scoffed, tucking your hands under your arms.

“I saw JJ running across the grass and then I heard you pacing. Just wanted to make sure.”

“Yeah, Kid. Everything’s fine.”

“Okay, well, tell him to be more careful next time. Dad might see him.”

Next time. After what you did, you weren’t there was going to be a next time.

“Sure, Kid. I’ll tell him.”

“Also, Dad wants our help with something. Might want to put on some fresh lipgloss.”

As your hand shot up to your lips, Kid closed the door with a smirk. You huffed to yourself, doing as your brother suggested, before trotting downstairs with your best attempt at a smile.

“Hey, Kiddo!” Your dad was in the kitchen still making breakfast. “You look a little sunburnt. You been going out?”

“Just been tanning in the backyard,” you lied quickly, sliding into a chair. “Thought I might as well.”

“I’m sorry you can’t go out more, sweetheart,” he said, passing you a plate of french toast. “I just want you to be safe and there’s nowhere safer than home.”

You smiled and took a bite of toast so you wouldn’t have to respond. It tasted bitter in your mouth, despite the syrup and powdered sugar. You couldn’t believe how heavily your father deluded himself. This house was probably the place where you were the least safe. At least you didn’t feel so trapped anymore.

“Why did you stay home from work today?” You asked, staring at your plate of food, trying to swallow what felt like ashes in your mouth.

“Just wanted to hang out with you guys today.” Your dad sat across from you with his own plate. “There’s some more work to do outside from Agatha. I see that you and your brother haven’t really been doing it yourselves, so I thought I might as well kick you guys into gear.”

You swallowed a lump in your throat and you smiled.

“Yeah, sounds good.” You knew better than to mention the fact that you had cleaned the house yesterday. It would just make things worse.

“Good. Finish your breakfast and then get your ass outside.”

Your dad picked up his plate, shoving his share back as he stood. You flinched, turning back to your plate. He stormed out the front door. You looked over at Kid, who held his hands tight in his lap.

“It’s okay, Kid. Enjoy your food,” you said with an attempted smile. Kid looked up at you with only his eyes, not lifting his head. In hopes to convince him to eat, you took another bite, despite your entire body’s reaction being to throw it back up again.

Slowly, Kid started to eat again.

The day passed with no problems aside from your dad being a passive aggressive douche bag. You wanted to make sure that Kid had sunscreen on so that the burns already on his back wouldn’t get worse. But your dad locked the sunscreen in your house and refused to unlock the doors to let you grab it. He wouldn’t even let you inside to get water or use the restroom.

By the end of the day, you were almost glad that your dad had you doing manual labor throughout the day because you hadn’t thought of JJ since that morning. Of course, once you laid down back in your bed, it all came flooding back.

You slammed your face against your pillow and screamed as loud as you could. How could you be so stupid? Not being able to hold your tongue when you should have was always an issue for you. Now, here you were, in the pitfalls of that fault.

Regret floated around you like a cloud. One knick in your wall and the flood came pouring out. You were no longer worried just about JJ, but fears overcame you about your friends, your mother, Ms. Lana, your dad, Kid. If you had just shattered your relationship with JJ, where would that put you with John B, Pope, Kie? They were his friends, but were they really yours too?

Maybe that’s why your mom really left, then. You were too clingy, too comfortable, too needy. Maybe you told her you loved her too many times. Maybe she was sick of looking at you.

You were crying before you even realized it. The floodgates had burst open in your heart, and that was reflected by the tears that streamed down your cheeks.

You were alone in your room, maybe that was a sign. Maybe that’s where you were supposed to be. Alone. Alone.

The thought forced a sob through your tightened jaw. You pressed the back of your hand against your mouth to keep any more from bouncing around your empty room. Still, the sobbing shook your body, chest heaving. You bit down on the back of your hand until you tasted blood, clamping your teeth down to keep yourself from making sound.

Your eyes fluttered shut as pain finally sparked through your hand. At first, your reaction was to pull your head away, but you didn’t when you realized that it took your mind off of the thoughts. You kept your hand in your mouth until you fell asleep.

***

The next day, you were sitting in your room with a book in your hand. When the knock came to your window, you snapped your head upward. Pulling the curtain open, your heart sunk when you saw Kie sitting there, waiting. You tried to smile at her as you pulled your window.

“Hey,” you said.

“We’re finding that boat today, Elm,” she said, a childish grin on her face. “You ready to be rich?”

“Hell yes.”

You followed her out to the car, hoping in the back before thinking about what you said the day before.

“Hey, Elm,” Pope said, holding out his fist for you as you climbed inside.

“Hey.” You smiled. John B tapped your shoulder with his hand as you settled into the seat behind his and you swatted him right back. When you finally made eye contact with JJ, that same painful ice shot through you again, burning to ash in your stomach. You pressed your fingers against the back of your hand through the bandage you wrapped around it, feeling the pain once again.

“What happened to your hand?” Pope asked. You looked down and tried to smile.

“Oh, you know, burned it trying to make breakfast this morning,” you said, giving a short laugh.

“You really are terrible at cooking.” You looked over at JJ and there was a smile on his face, as if nothing the day before had happened. You smiled back, hoping that you could forget it yourself.

“So, we’re getting this gold?”

“You bet your ass we’re getting that gold, Elm!” John B drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, banging his head to his own beat.

As the five of you stepped onto the boat, JJ grabbed your wrist and turned you around.

“Hey, we good?” He asked, brushing his thumb against your wrist. You gave a few short nods, unable to look him in the eyes. “Ellie-”

“Yeah, yeah. We’re good.” You leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before turning and hopping onto the boat with everyone else.

The day was supposed to be calm, but as soon as you made it to the spot where the Royal Merchant was supposed to have sunken, waves started to ripple across the water. You watched with growing alarm as a storm started to roll closer and closer to your small boat. John B called out for JJ to move the boat this way and that, but the current was too strong. You could feel it pulling the boat faster than he was able to move it. Kie called out how far down the drone was. You could feel the tension on the boat, or maybe it was the static from the storm.

You weren’t sure which.

“It should be right here,” Pope said, glancing up. You and Kie ran over to where John B and Pope were staring at the screen.

“Where is it?”

“I don’t know, Kie.”

“Wait,” you said, pointing at a darker spot on the screen. “What’s that?”

As Pope got closer, your heart dropped into your stomach, a smile breaking across your lips.

“What is it?” JJ called from the wheel. No one said anything for a moment, mouths dry. John B started to smile as more of the ship came into view.

“It’s the Royal Merchant.”

JJ let out a holler from the front, but the more you all looked at the screen, the more your smiles started to fall. A heavy rock settled in your stomach. The gold wasn’t there, there was nothing but an old wreckage.

“It’s not there,” John B said. You could see the heartbreak on his face. “Just, pull up the drone.”

Thundered rumbled in the distance, making you look up from the screen to the darkening sky.

“Shit,” John B breathed.

“Look, we can do another pass. Recharge the battery,” Pope protested as John B walked away. “We...we can go back down!”

You fell back against a cooler, staring at the bottom of the boat. The gold was there, you could feel it on your fingertips, yet it was just out of reach.

“The gold could be buried, we don’t know!” Kie shouted over the wind as it started to pick up.

“If the gold was buried, we would see it on the metal detector,” John B said, leaning against the side of the boat. You dropped your face into your hands.

“Somebody beat us to it,” John B told them.

“Or it was never there.” You could hear the anger in JJ’s voice. He turned the wheel a little too harsh and you grabbed hold of the railing to keep from toppling off of the cooler. No one said anything until you were all back onshore.

Still, there was silence when everyone stepped off. The urge to cry was right there, but you held it back. If anyone should be the most disappointed, it should be John B. You couldn’t help but think about that life you almost convinced yourself you could have had.

As you walked away from the boat toward the van, you kicked the rocks beneath your feet. JJ walked up behind you, lacing his fingers through yours before you knew he was there. You turned to look toward him, startled at first. But then he smiled down at you. You could see the disappointment in his eyes, but there was still a smile on his face. You squeezed his hand as he brought your knuckles up to his lips. You didn’t even realize it was your wounded hand until you saw the bandages.

It all felt stupid now. The breakdown, the biting, the tears. Maybe you had freaked him out, you had freaked yourself out, but that didn’t matter. Cause here he was, by your side.

You smiled back, bumping his shoulder with yours as you walked back to the car.

#jj maybank #ocean and alcohol #jj obx #obx #outer banks #pope heyward #john b #john b obx #pope obx #kiara carrera #kiara obx #jj angst #jj fluff #outer banks fic

155 notes · View notes

jonathanrook · 3 years

Note

legally i have to give you intern 2

em you have awoken an ungodly beast inside me so i need to warn everyone that this post is. incomprehensible. but so is mymusic so i guess we're all used to it.

How I feel about this character:

i watched mymusic as it was airing/running/coming out specifically bc i'm a jack stannie, and as a kid melvin was my second favorite character (w scene being in first, obvs) for mostly that reason. he basically hovered around this ranking until my most recent rewatch in the summer of 2020, which was actually spurred by some events in my personal life that vaguely reminded me of scene's season two arc w jeff, and i thought it'd been a funny/nostalgic way to get my mind off things.

(i want to side note here that -- i know you didn't ask, but -- i love jeff. i have since i was a kid. like, obviously not as a person but i think he's honestly the best written character in the series, w indie close in second. idk what it says about the f*nes that their most interesting and well rounded characters are the villains, but i digress. to this day i'm salty that jeff never got added to the theme song and wasn't really included in promotional merch.)

however, in said rewatch, certain things about how he was written started to really get under my skin, and certain moments in particular have really stuck out to me in a negative way. like, for the entirety of season one and a good chunk of season two he's one person, and then he leaves mymusic and we have an entirely different person, but not in a nuanced character building sort of way.

i've said a few of these points before but i'll repeat them here regardless. at the risk of sounding like i've put on a tin-foil hat, it's my sneaking suspicion that scindie was supposed to be endgame, but since fan reception to it was pretty neutral, and scenechart stans were, at the very least, more vocal, changes were made to the intended finale, which is why in the last scene he's basically just. indie. like, if everything about the show was exactly the same but indie was the one who had ended up w scene in the end that would have made so much more sense since a) scene had a crush on indie that he/everyone knew about and b) indie was kind of a dick despite the half-assed attempts at redemption, so both combined make it slightly less weird/out-of-nowhere that he kisses her w/o her consent (since, even though like. implied consent is not real at worst and a fuzzy subject at best but you could argue that scene would want indie to kiss her); and this isn't even taking into consideration that c) melvin is heavily queer-coded in both seasons, with his friendship with nerdcore being, dare i say, homoerotic at times, and his arc about leaving the company and changing his name mirroring nerdcore's almost perfectly (with nerdcore being a character who b*nny [at least] has all but confirmed is actually gay).

i've also been on the fence about melvin's behavior in that final scene making more sense for indie's character being an intentional decision as a way of shoe-horning in a theme about the lasting effects of abuse/cycles of abuse/the corruption of power but i also don't think the f*nes are smart enough for that. however, for the sake of defending my straw theory, i also point to the scene where indie comes to visit the acid factory after melvin told him to shut up, and we see melvin use reggie as a foot-stool, going as far as to say that it feels good to do so (which, in all honesty, i think is a bit that was entirely improvised, since the f*nes were "notorious for never saying cut" [paraphrased from a bts video], but work w me here). he's also given a seltzer mug that perfectly resembles indie's kombucha mug. in these moment melvin is directly emulating the behavior of his previous abuser, purposefully or not, literal moments after being promoted to an equal position of authority, which was totally just included as a joke, but could also be argued is meant to show that he's becoming indie; or, if we acknowledge that the f*nes have no fucking clue what they're doing and were just directing like chickens with their heads cut off, it at least shows that melvin's new position of power is leading him to understand where indie was coming from, which is supported by their conversation in the finale.

the following contains a couple brief mentions of irl sexual assault so if that's something you'd like to avoid skip to the next section!

HOWEVER, that alone isn't what i have a problem with, since i think melvin is completely justified in being a dick to indie (and also reggie enthusiastically consents to being used as an ottoman so good for him i guess). the issue comes completely in how he treats scene in the scenes where the f*nes clearly thought what they were writing was super romantic. like, the fact that the only thing he's got hung on his cubicle wall is a single picture of scene taken from the fucking opening credits (like. how hard would it have been to have. literally any other photo[s] esp since there's an abundance of cute bts pics of the cast in costume that could have been put there) and him scrolling through her twitter at work really creep me out (and at the risk of oversharing the weird, like, social media stalking angle really fucks w me bc that may or may not have been the exact fucking thing i was trying to escape in rewatching mymusic in the first place). also, having him sexually assault scene as a means of comforting her after she had just been sexually assaulted in the same way by someone else was... a choice (which is also, uh, personally familiar).

again, i recognize that demonizing melvin wasn't what the f*nes were trying to do here, and i perhaps seem hypocritical for opening liking jeff, but what makes jeff work is he's intentionally "the bad guy." having melvin do the same things as indie and jeff uncritically only proves further that the f*nes can't write for shit, and ruins his character which had, up until he quit mymusic, been unironically good. like, it's obviously not beneficial that the exact asshole things he does are personally triggering, but the character would still be a mess and i would still dislike him regardless.

i want to say though that jack delivers a surprisingly great performance despite how shoddily his character is constructed and how little experience he has as an actor. like, it's clear he was having a lot of fun on set and i would love to see him in something, like, good; i think he could pull off even like, guest television roles, which is a lot more than can be said for other youtubers.

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All the people I ship romantically with this character:

nerdchart should have been canon i'm sorry. i know that close, nonromantic male friendships are valuable, esp between queer men, but also gd wouldn't it have been baller to have a canon interracial mlm ship. like. c'mon. and they could have been such a good friends to lovers story! we already got to see how melvin was the only person nerdcore could really be himself around so it would have been so cool if melvin's self-advocacy arc/flowchart arc had revolved more around nerdcore with a little role-reversal! and then they kiss! like god intended!

also i ship him and indie bc i'm a grubby little gremlin man ohoho. enemies w weird sexual tension? sign me up. not even enemies to lovers i'm not saying this one should have been canon i just love the vibes. do you think melvin and indie ever explored each other's bod-- *gunshot*

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My non-romantic OTP for this character:

i wish him and scene had just been bros. god remember in season one when they were just bros that was the life.

alternatively, i wish we'd seen more bonding w him and metal, as a means of reconciling that. uh. moment from season one. along similar lines i would have loved to see him get closer w rayna in a similar way to how she bonded w nerdcore in season two. i think that could have also worked to show how she'd grown between the two seasons.

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My unpopular opinion about this character:

HIM. AND. SCENE. SHOULD. HAVE. JUST. BEEN. BROS. (though i think my general dislike of him is pretty unpopular, lmao).

when the show was coming out i don't think it's unfair to say that scenechart/scenetern 2 was the most popular ship (aside from potentially techstep whatever) but luckily we're all gay and have better taste now. unfortunately i totally fell into this camp and scenechart was even my otp for years (until it was arguably more unfortunately usurped by reddie in 2019) and i didn't even realise that it's a hot mess until, again, the summer of 2020.

when actually watching the show the choices the f*nes made in regards to how the ship actually became canon are so odd and out of place, too? okay, so, on one hand everyone just shipped scenechart bc it was the whitest hettiest ship in the show (esp in season two when idol left) aside from scindie (and we already discussed what's wrong w that). but, on the other hand, lainey and jack clearly also just got along? and i suspect that lainey probably also admired jack's work and was happy to be working with him bc we have so many shots throughout even the first season when the ship wasn't the intended endgame of lainey scene looking really fondly at jack melvin at times when it doesn't make much sense at all, esp since she's smitten w indie? this trend continues into the second season which arguably works but it still seems really out of place for him to be the one to ultimately make the first move on her since it's clear she was the one crushing this whole time and also he's gay! this bitch is gay what the fuck!!

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One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon:

at this point i'm struggling to think of anything i haven't covered yet. oops.

i've talked at length before about how he should have been a woman/lesbian, but the tl;dr is that it would have solved a lot of the queer-coding "problems" that just didn't get resolved in the show. if he'd been a lesbian then not only would the friendship w nerdcore still made sense, but scenechart would have as well (not even mentioning that both of scene's other relationships w men make a lot of sense as comphet anyway).

#long post #this took me an hour to write i literally had to get a snack in the middle of it #mymusicshow #mymusic show #question #mlentertainment #also having a character named scene when you have to write about scenes like. in a story is an absolute bitch

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for-ests · 4 years

Text

Behind Closed Doors: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader (Part 1)

Summary: As a famous actor yourself, private affairs are few and far between. The only part of your life that had been private was your two year-long relationship with Japanese heartthrob, actor and model, Kuroo Tetsurou. After you and Kuroo endure a messy breakup from the implications of multiple misunderstandings, you are forced to attend an interview for your upcoming film. A film that you are also co-starring with Kuroo in.

Warnings: angst, breakup, possible triggers

Word count: 1, 345

AN: Please lmk if you’d like me to start a series, and if you’d like to be tagged, I think I could have a lot of fun writing something like this :’) (mlist)

“So, Y/N,” The reporter crossed her legs with a devilish smile. One that was mischievous in a teasing, yet encouraging way. “The last segment I want to touch on, is your relationship with co-star Kuroo Tetsurou. The fans are just dying to know.”

Your stomach lurched.

The journalist, Jessica, leaned forward—eager to figure out the truth for herself. Two costars falling in love while on set was a dream that many people believed could be true. Some though, refused to believe it since neither of you had confirmed your off screen romance.

And now, reflecting on what unfolded three nights ago was enough to make you lie through your teeth. Right now, you were going to save yourself the grief of the entire world knowing what happened to you behind closed doors. You were going to tell them that Kuroo had never meant anything to you. He was only your coworker. Nothing more.

“You’re sneaky.” You chuckled, trying to lighten the mood and cover up the pause you had made mid-interview.

Truthfully, you should have prepared yourself better for a question like this. The interview was about your upcoming movie, the one you had kissed Kuroo Tetsurou in multiple times. Of course there were rumors, of course there were questions.

Hope though, was a disappointing thing. You had hoped to keep the interview focused on you, on your talents, on anything else but him.

But your connection with Kuroo was obvious. And you would have admitted everything right then and there, if you and him had still been together. Unfortunately, it was too late for that.

“From the snippets of the movie that I’ve seen, the two of you have real chemistry. Something I haven’t seen in a long time.” Jessica’s eyebrows knit together as you struggled to reply to her kind words. She was a popular interviewer in your line of work, a reporter that balanced the line of being an established magazine, versus an over dramatic tabloid. “It was refreshing.” She added for good measure.

“Thank you.” A grin spread across your face. Though you had been an actress for many years, this movie was truly your big break. And because of that, the anxiety of getting wrapped up with the wrong people followed, along with having the wrong rumors spread about you.

Your relationship with Kuroo had been a secret because the last thing you wanted your legacy to be was Kuroo Tetsurou’s ex girlfriend. His scorned lover that was desperate to reach his level, but never could, essentially labeled as a one hit wonder.

You were more than that. You deserved more than that.

You had worked so hard to get to this point. You were starring in your own feature film, you had the talent, you had the drive and you had the looks.

Yet, sadly, all that could be erased by one man. All your hard work could be diminished by the truth, that the two of you had been in love since the start.

That didn’t happen in Hollywood. Real love was dangerous.

Those negative thoughts swirled through your mind, as they had been for weeks now. You needed to protect yourself and your brand. Kuroo didn’t actually love you, who were you kidding? You had made a mistake.

Fame came with a newfound outlook on life, and it was up to the person on what they did with their wealth and connections. Most grew incredibly large egos, some felt entitled to endless blessings, few stayed normal, and even less grew to hate themselves.

You were one of the few. You had developed crippling anxiety and every time someone as so mentioned your name, your insecurity intensified. You had become distracted by Kuroo and all his promises, which was the number one thing you were trying to leave in your past. If you were going to become successful, you need to get over your hopeless crush.

“Lovely, indeed.” The interviewer said with genuine interest. All of a sudden, you realized you had been talking.

“Sorry to go off on a tangent though, everyone knows how much I loved being on set.” You gathered your composure and pieced together your surroundings. Jessica’s expression radiated pleasure, so whatever you said made sense. Whatever you said was fitting enough. But it was time to address the dreadful question.

“My relationship with Tetsurou... It was just for the movie.” You voice faltered slightly as you managed to get the answer out. “We’re just friends.”

She raised her eyebrows.

Your smile cracked, and for a moment, the pain was visible in your expression. You glanced away from the interviewer, ashamed. You were an actress, faking your emotions should be easy for you.

The camera definitely picked up your discomfort. How you had suddenly shifted positions awkwardly, and how your eyes glossed over for the slightest moment. People were going to pick up on the lie. The woman in front of you, Jessica, obviously had.

“That’s unfortunate. You and Kuroo had me fooled for sure.” Her questioning gaze faded as the next question rolled on by.

Yet, just the mention of his name shattered your heart into a million pieces. And because of your status, there was no way to escape the internal torment. There were upcoming movie premieres, there were more interviews and plenty more events to attend.

There was no escaping him.

And for Kuroo, it felt like there was no escaping you.

When he got out of bed the next morning, your name was trending on Twitter. The interview was posted on YouTube from the company who had set up the project.

Your radiant smile was what greeted him when he pulled up the video. His finger hovered over the play button, and for a moment, he stopped.

He needed to get over you. He had to. Keeping tabs on your success would only bring him deeper into despair. But he watched anyways, even as his best friend Kenma, the director of the movie, texted him with a warning.

Kenma:> Not good bro. You might not want to watch it.

In the beginning, you had held yourself with grace and confidence. But as the questions continued, Kuroo could physically see them wearing away at your mental state. They continued to get more personal, and many of them alluded to him. The one topic he knew you were hoping to avoid.

And when that one question left the interviewer’s lips, he watched your gaze fall to the ground. You masked your discomfort with a mystifying smile, what you often did in awkward situations. That was why everyone loved you, you always knew how to make others feel better, even if it cost you your own sanity.

You were kind. You were genuine, yet you remained ignorant about your own potential. It was hard for outsiders to see, but he knew you better than most. He was your lover... or had been.

So truthfully, he was shocked to hear your answer.

“We’re just friends.”

The answer seemed to physically pain you. Your eyes were glistening in the light’s reflection, lips glossy from the many times you had anxiously licked them.

Kuroo noticed this, his own heartstrings pulling in multiple different directions. There was no way you had lied like that. There was no way you could deny what the two of you shared. Yet, what else could he expect from you than for you to pretend he had never existed?

Definitely more. You meant more to him than that. And he could see that you felt the same.

Kuroo wouldn’t have felt this way if the breakup had been right. His feelings for you remained consistent, his heart remained yours.

Days had passed and all he could think about was talking to you again.

Practically half awake, Kuroo sat fully up in his bed. A bed that you had once been a concurrent occupant in. It felt cold without you. He felt cold without you.

Because of his revelation, Kuroo swiped up your contact and sent you a text.

Kuroo:> we need to talk, Y/N.

You responded almost immediately as if you had been expecting it.

Y/N:> I know.

tag list!

@tamcitrus @akaashit-baeji @writeiolite @bokutokoutarou @dorkyama @infamouswhitepawsies @heccingdead @kingkags @raevaioli

#Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader #haikyuuwritersnet #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #Kuroo Tetsurou

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silver-wield · 4 years

Note

Can you do an analysis on Cloud and Tifa’s body language during that scene when they’re in Cloud’s room and he’s slyly referring to his promise to Tifa? There was crazy sexual tension in that scene and it honestly looked like Cloud was subtly being flirty with her 😭

No probs, Nonny! I actually already touched on their body language in a reply to a gif set of this bit, so we'll just expand on that ^=^

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a VERY long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis)

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog)

Tifa character analysis

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I've had other ideas since then)

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti)

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis

Cloti reunion analysis

The Promise Analysis

Andrea's approval (Cloti ask response)

Leslie analysis (not mine, but a good read)

Cloti action touching

Aerti friendship analysis

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Keep reading

Recap time! Yall know the drill by now if you've read my other ramblings.

Chapter 3, where we get a room (lol), do some jobs and have a chat with Tifa. It's pretty basic stuff until the cut scene after Marle gives Cloud a talking to. She's the overprotective grandmother figure that Tifa needs in her life and she wants to make sure Cloud isn't messing with her. Now, why would she think that? Well, maybe she picked up some hints when Tifa mentioned Cloud to her about wanting a place to stay? Marle's pretty sharp, after all, and if she got the impression Tifa is carrying a torch, she'd definitely make sure Cloud's not about to blow it out. She tells him to pay attention to her, to listen. This is the very first instance of Cloud taking in that kind of info and it changes how he treats others for the rest of the game.

After the chapter 4 mission where Cloud reflects on his promise to Tifa, it's back to the slums for some rest. Then Tifa knocks on his door and enters. She mentions Cloud was gone for a while, and he answers he was walking so that he keeps Jessie's secret – because he's that kind of guy.

Small talking Tifa is cute, but lol, Cloud seems to have purposely forgotten Johnny since he's yet another admirer of Tifa. For a guy who doesn't forget info like morons who could cause them trouble in the long run, it's pretty telling how quickly he is to dismiss Johnny.

Onto something more interesting in this pic, though. Cloud is sitting on the bed. Now, if he wasn't comfortable around Tifa he'd have got up. His eyeline is lower than hers so he has to look up at her. This puts her in a position of dominance over him – also not surprising since his mentality is that of a 16yr old around her and she's the adult in the relationship. Tifa for her part has her body turned to the side in a non-confrontational pose.

Tifa has her hands clasped in front of herself (couple of seconds before this screen) which indicates she's trying to protect herself as she asks the question if Cloud is leaving Midgar. Not surprising since she's afraid of losing people she cares about and even just someone heading off somewhere else would upset her, though she'd try not to show it.

Cloud, for his part, looks away, appearing as though he's thinking it over, but we're already aware he's decided to stay and help Tifa out, so this is a fake out on his part. He's half-teasing, half trying to get a positive response from her (remember the water tower? Yeah, this is that Cloud. The dork. The one who is useless at talking to girls).

I'm sorry, but Cloud is such a cheeky bastard I just can't with him! This is giving me all the throwbacks to his behaviour at the water tower and I love that it mirrors that moment, but with more success on his part this time. He's looking all around trying not to give himself away before it's needed. He's smiling and looks relaxed. He might be sitting but he definitely believes he has the upper hand between them at this point. Remember, I've said before that eye contact is important. Well, in this case, Cloud's deliberate refusal to make eye contact shows he's teasing. This is such a cute moment between them!

Oh ho! But here's where his teasing ends. Cloud is being completely serious and obviously took the promise between them as being special. Ducking his head out of sight completely prevents us from seeing his expression and allows him to act in a casual way about something that's such an important part of who he became. But, he's not quite pulling it off because he's also looking quite defensive in this pose. His hands are clasped in front of him and he's leaning forward, looking at the floor. This is something very meaningful for him to talk about and he's hoping Tifa doesn't brush it off, so if he doesn't look at her he won't have to see her reaction.

Tifa's obviously got her own interpretation of how that promise went. We can guess she did it because she just wanted a guarantee she'd see Cloud again some day from how she acted during the water tower cut scene. Here, she's leaning back on her hands which leaves her body language open, but also conceals something. She's looking down, the same way Cloud did. She's also hiding her true feelings towards Cloud the same way he's hiding from her, but she's being as honest as she can be as the same time. I've seen people call Tifa a liar because of how she doesn't address Cloud's memory problems in OG, but when you really take a close look at her, lying just isn't her. This is a complex moment between them. They've not long met again and they're having this heavy conversation. The feelings between them are still there, but there's all this other stuff that's more important. But, they know they're friends, and that's a good place to start getting to know each other again, and Cloud choosing to stay is that first step, with the quick follow up of him reminding her of their shared history.

Cloud, you smooth bastard I love you for this! This is definitely flirting! He's looking directly at her, then dips his head to the side in an inviting gesture. His eyes soften and he gets this tiny smile on his face. His body language has changed, too. He's sitting up and back slightly with both arms by his sides. There's no more defensiveness about him. He wants to listen to her. Cloud is choosing to ask for Tifa's confidence. He's letting her know she can rely on him. That he's interested.

For her part, Tifa's pleased, but surprised. She's not long got back in touch with Cloud and, while he's been a decent guy, she's had the overall impression he isn't the same as the soft boi she knew, so this is a revelation for her. The Cloud she knew is still within this Cloud – which anyone who knows the real!Cloud SOLDIER!Cloud storyline is exactly the point of this moment. Tifa knows his true self. The true self that comes out only when he's with her.

Cloud, bro, I'm gonna combust from all these flirty gestures! Fully open body language, a smile, teasing tone. Goddamnit, just say you love her already! Yes, please, invite Tifa to check you out. Remember, he's still sitting. He's so relaxed and natural around her. Even if all you saw was two friends and no ship, you'd be insane to think he isn't a different person in this scene. He's not SOLDIER Cloud here.

Tifa, for her part, isn't flirting here. She likes Cloud, that's clear, and her body language is reaching towards him, which suggests she has feelings towards him, but her tone is more playful and her expression is pleased. She's happy to see her friend isn't too different from the one she knows. Most of the flirting in this scene is on Cloud's side, which makes sense when you think of the torch he's been carrying for her. He's trying to get her attention, same way he did when they were kids. Tifa's oblivious but receptive because she likes him back, but she won't show it as much because she thinks he's not interested. Someone knock their heads together please lol

OMG FUCKING HELL CLOUD JUST TELL HER YOU LOVE HER! Leaning back on the bed, totally vulnerable body language, drawing attention to the bod in an attempt to spark her interest – since he's clearly interpreted this line from Tifa as a rejection – this boi is trying so hard! He even looks a little disappointed she's not more impressed with SOLDIER Cloud, but we knew she preferred the dork anyway lol

Now, I know everyone talks about the physical and emotional distance between them here, which is obvious, but what I'm gonna point out is after feeling like SOLDER Cloud has been rejected by Tifa – thanks to her preference for the real deal – Cloud looks away from her. She's brushed him off and he's hiding his upset by not meeting her eyes.

Tifa is still oblivious to this, but Cloud definitely has a look of disappointment on his face.

Now, after that last bit you'd think Cloud would assume he's got no chance, but then Tifa says how glad she is to have him back and that cheers him up. He's still in that mindset of a 16yr old with a crush, whereas Tifa's moved on. She's had 5 years apart from him (she thinks it's 7, I know, but he saw her in Nibelheim and how she'd matured a little). She's not thinking of him in an openly romantic sense, whereas Cloud is definitely still deep in his feelings for her. Hearing she's happy to see him hints to him that he might still have a chance with her if they spend more time together. His soft af goodnight is the last indicator of his strong feelings for her. His body language is open once more, he's staring after her with a longing look and a smile and doesn't look away until the door closes.

Conclusion

JUST GET FUCKING MARRIED ALREADY IT'S BEEN 23 YEARS!

Lol seriously though, Cloud is definitely still deep in the throes of his childhood crush. Tifa could resurrect hers with time because it's clear she does still harbour feelings for him, but she's not the type to be pushy or insistent. She'll let Cloud take the lead and offer subtle hints how she feels, hoping he feels the same. She doesn't pick up on Cloud's subtle flirting compared to those more in your face things he tried earlier. Through all of those interactions with her he's definitely trying to say that he likes her and he'd like her to accept his feelings, but the bigger gestures get the brush off, although she blushes and looks shy, and the smaller ones go over her head.

Unfortunately, these two are oblivious af and it's gonna take everyone's help to get them together.

#final fantasy 7 remake spoilers #final fantasy 7 remake analysis #cloti #cloud strife #tifa lockheart #seriously #just kiss already

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connorswhisk · 4 years

Text

omgcp friendship week day 6: late night conversations ft. holster and jack

for day 6 of @birlcholtz‘s prompts !

can also be found on my ao3

Funnily enough, the only times Holster really sleeps badly is when he’s so exhausted he can’t think straight. If he’s had a particularly taxing day, and both his body and his brain are worn out like crazy, and all he wants to do is crash on his bunk and stay there forever? That’s when the insomnia kicks in.

Today was a lot. The whole team’s already fucking tired because they’ve been on the road for three days nonstop. But they lost their game tonight, and that was really rough. They had been so close, too…but in the end, it wasn’t enough to cinch it.

So, morale’s pretty low at the hotel right now, and no one’s in the mood for anything, which is unfortunate, because Holster just is not sleeping right now.

He considers waking up Rans, who’s snoring in the bed next to him, but thinks better of it. He was really upset about the game (they all were), and Holster doesn’t want to throw off his balance right now. He needs his sleep.

Yeah, but do does Holster.

He looks over at the alarm clock on his bedside table - it’s almost three in the morning. Maybe he should just watch some random YouTube videos on his phone, or listen to the Glee Season Three cast album back-to-back to distract himself, but then he remembers that his earbuds are somewhere at the bottom of his suitcase, and he really doesn’t feel like looking for them right now.

Fuck it, he thinks, and gets out of bed, pulling on a hoodie and a pair of sweats and grabbing his glasses. Might as well just try and get some fresh air.

The hotel lobby is empty, except for the clerk at the front desk who must have gotten stuck on the graveyard shift. Holster waves at her, to be friendly, but she just sort of nods back at him in return and goes back to her magazine.

He’s planning to stand outside for a few minutes, check his Twitter feed, breathe, and go back in, but that plan is thrown off course when he realizes that he’s not the only person out of bed this late at night.

“Jack?”

Jack looks up at him quickly, his shoulders tensing, but seems to relax a little bit when he sees who it is. “Oh. Hey, Holster.”

“Can I sit?” Holster asks, indicating the curb.

Jack nods. “Yeah. Sure.”

Holster does. He’s not really sure what to say - it seems like he’s interrupted Jack in the middle of some very deep thoughts.

“Um.” Holster coughs. “Couldn’t sleep?”

Jack shakes his head. “Not really. You?”

Holster exhales. “Yeah, me neither.”

“Ransom asleep?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

It’s quiet for a moment. The air is chilly, biting at Holster’s face, made a little warmer with his roadie beard, but not by much. It’s silent. Really silent. Nothing but the wind seems to be moving at all. It’s kind of eerie how noiseless everything is.

Holster knows Jack is out here for the same reason he is: he’s upset about the game. Holster wouldn’t mind talking about it with him, helping Jack feel better (and helping himself feel better), but he feels a little awkward about it. He knows Jack pretty well after having played on a team with him for two and a half years, but they don’t really talk. Not about heavy stuff like this, anyway. That’s usually Shitty’s job; he and Jack are best friends, Holster and Ransom are best friends, and Lardo drifts between the four of them, seemingly fitting in anywhere.

But Holster also knows that Jack can get really stressed really easily, and he knows all about that, because his best bro is Justin Oluransi, the Living Coral Reef, and because of that, he knows how to diffuse stressful situations.

For the most part. He’s never tried it with Jack before. But he’s got to try, right? Otherwise, what kind of fucking teammate would he be?

“I’m sorry about the game,” Holster says, and he hates how the words seem all the more real when he says them aloud. He doesn’t look directly at Jack, but he can see him digging his fingers into his knees out of the corner of his eye.

“Yeah, well,” Jack says, voice sounding bitterly brittle. “You win some, you lose some, eh?”

Holster shakes his head. “Dude, I can tell you’re upset about it. Don’t try to bullshit me. It’s ok.”

Jack sighs. “We weren’t supposed to lose,” he mutters.

“Yeah,” Holster says glumly, scuffing his sneakers against the pavement. “I know we weren’t. But that doesn’t mean it’s your fault.”

Jack stiffens. “I didn’t say - “

“You were thinking it,” Holster says casually. “I know you were. You always do.”

Jack swallows. “I’m the captain - “

“And we still played a good game!” Holster exclaims. “We just fucked it up at the end, but it was still good.”

“I fucked it up at the end,” Jack whispers.

Holster glances over at him. He looks even more tired than Holster feels. His eyes are bloodshot, his forehead lined, and maybe it’s just the lighting, but right now he looks older, more like Bad Bob Zimmermann than Jack.

“You didn’t,” Holster says seriously. “It wasn’t your fault. If anything, we all fucked it up a little, and it all built up into one big fuck-up. But it wasn’t you. And we’ll do better next time.”

“Don’t you see?” Jack says louder, desperately. “I can’t - I can’t lose games, Holster, that’s just not something I’m allowed to do. If I ever want to make it back to where I was, I - “ He swallows. “I need to do better.”

Holster shakes his head. “You know you’re the best captain I’ve ever had, right?”

Jack laughs hollowly. “Yeah, ok.”

“No, I’m serious. I’ve never had a captain who gets hockey the way you do. It’s like you’ve been doing it your whole life. You have been doing it your whole life, and you’re good at it, and I know that if you asked anyone on this team, they’d say the exact same thing. Ransom thinks so. I know Shitty thinks so. Even Bitty would agree.”

Jack shakes his head. “I just need to - “

“Hey,” Holster says, knocking Jack’s shoulder with his own. “You don’t need to do anything. Dude, you’re going to get back into the professional leagues regardless. You’re Bad Bob’s fucking son! You’re so good at hockey, it should be illegal. You’re not a bad captain, you’re not a bad player, and this isn’t your fault.”

Jack smiles then. He actually smiles, and the tension seems to leak out of his shoulders a little, just like it does for Ransom when Holster’s helping him study for his bio exams, and Holster knows that he’ll be all right.

“Ok,” Jack says quietly. “Ok, Birkholtz.”

Holster grins. “Fuck yeah, dude.”

Jack laughs to himself, and then asks, “Can I - Can I get a hug?”

Holster blinks. “A hug?”

Jack looks sort of embarrassed. “I don’t know, dude, you just give good hugs,” he says sheepishly.

Holster laughs. “Dude, I know. I was just surprised you wanted one. You’re usually a no-touching kind of guy.”

“I know,” Jack sighs. “But I’d really like one right now.”

Holster smiles. “Sure thing.”

As it turns out, Jack Zimmermann gives pretty good hugs, too, whether he knows it or not.

#omgcpfriendshipweek #my writing #my post #character: holster #character: jack zimmermann #fandom: omgcp

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devourer--of--books · 4 years

Text

I’m mad about Hunter being written off and here’s why you should be too

You: wasted potential.

Me, an intellectual: ah, Hunter and Nicola’s friendship

I have strong opinions about Hunter.

Yeah, you heard me right.

Look, I have strong opinions about many, many, things. Today, we are taking a dive on Hunter and Nicola. First I’d like to blame this post on Kate, as I decided to make it after I tried to articulate why Hunter being written off TCY makes me so angry in a huge comment under her latest OTK post but it ended up being too big and messy so I deleted it. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone elaborate on it, so if you were also mad about this, bro, not to be intense, but like, are we soulmates or...??

Before anything else, as I usually do with my text posts (which I haven’t done in a while, opsies), I shall provide you with arguably unnecessary context. Sit down, grab yourself some snacks, make yourself at home, I’m about to rant you into oblivion.

Since I know many accounts weren’t around back then, I’ll also give you the socio-political vibes of the time period, as any self-respecting half-baked essay written last minute should.

POV, you’re 14/15 year-old me. You flat iron your hair, you don’t use sunscreen, you think you’re straight and your school makes you wear those horrid low rise uniform pants, but at least you can somewhat do your make-up decently now that you grew out of your emo phase.

The year was 2016. The Ever Never Handbook has just come out. You re-watch the handbook trailer on youtube for the fifteenth time. Everyone is losing their minds over OcTObeR 14tH and “a student named Agatha ~ now Agatha of Camelot~”, as well as the portraits and the teasing for a new SGE book. Quests For Glory is announced just a few days later. 2016 tagatha ship week happens a few months down the line.

This is the SGE Tumblr Fandom Peak.

Now, let’s start right there, two-ish weeks after the release of the Handbook, right as the QFG announcement comes out.

We all knew Soman wasn’t done with SGE after TLEA. He definitely had been teasing something in his weekly blogs (lol, remember when I used to check the blog, what a time to be alive) and once we got the ENH, we got quite lot of info to theorize. Here’s some that I can think off the top of my head:

- The coven was going on a mission to find a new School Master.

- Tedros and Agatha were struggling financially in Camelot but were going to get married soon (even if Sophie doubted Tedros would have asked Agatha yet, as of the time of the Ever Never RoundTable, but we’re taking that with a grain of salt, because she was written to sound jealous here, and I won’t acknowledge that kinda of bs, she is happy for her friends okay, we’ve been though this-)

- Sophie had completely remodeled the School For Evil and was getting on Dovey and the rest of the faculty’s nerves (except for newly hired history teacher, Hort).

- The rest of the supporting cast had just graduated third year and was to be off in quests soon.

- The School was now accepting applications, and two of those applicants are Nicola and Bogden.

Now, I’m not even gonna bring up how it was mentioned in a video in EverNeverTv that Bogden would be an important character in TCY, and yet, I can’t think of anything relevant about him other than the fact that he knew tarot apparently, or how his application had more personality than him in the entire series, or how he was basically there so we could look at him and Willam and be like “oh, representation”, or how he’d be a good insight on how Galvadon perceives Sophie and Agatha post-TLEA, or- I’m just not gonna.

Oh, no. Instead, we are here to discuss Nicola’s application.

If your memory is foggy, let me remind you:

Nicola’s application is submitted, according to the Handbook, by her friend, Hunter. For convenience sake, we’ll assume Hunter is a guy (I’ll tell you why Hunter being a guy works better for me in a bit), but his gender is not mentioned anywhere in the ENH. I don’t think he has been gendered in any version (correct me if I’m wrong) or if there are any pronouns for him during TCY, but I’m fairly confident he isn’t mentioned at all.

Hunter tells us he is applying on Nic’s behalf, as she’d never apply for herself. He mentions that she is more or less the Galvadon equivalent of an activist for women’s rights, founding a rugby unisex team and campaigning for pants instead of skirts for the local school uniform, as well as having a feminist sounding book as her favorite book. It’s heavily implied that she is a jock, as he lists that, if marooned on a desert island, Nicola would want to have a soccer ball, a hockey stick and a set of dumbbells (“and none of this 5-lb nonsense”) with her.

Upon asked why Nicola should go to the school, his answer is: “because there’s a greater place for her in the world, where she can learn a girl’s true worth, and I don’t think it’s here.”

Then you have a note from (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) the very late, long, long gone, absolutely dead, August Sader, telling the Deans to accept her application, despite having no reason to do so, as Nicola was to “play a crucial role in it’s [the school’s] survival.” Dovey and Sophie agree to flip a coin to decide which school will take her, which Sophie must have lost, as Nicola is accepted into the School For Evil.

By now, I think we all agree that Nicola was done dirty. If you check my QFG re-read you’ll notice that I complained about her there. As I had to go though her introduction chapter again to make this post, let me tell you why: Nicola wasn’t written to be likeable.

She simply wasn’t. That’s the one conclusion I can draw. Whether that’s intentional or not, I can’t tell, but the backlash she received was fairly useful, as it meant Soman could write her off the main story without much backlash from his target audience (aka, not us, pesky pretentious older readers).

The Nicola I was introduced to, not only in the Handbook but on her trailer for QFG was not the girl on QFG.

Nic is there to be the smart girl™, and while I do appreciate having a character who is a bit cocky about their brains, it just doesn’t work well there. Because her bond to other characters and the way she earns their respect feels so weak, she just comes across as pretentious. Characters like Hester and Agatha, who are supposed to be smart, feel dumbed down to show us how clever Nicola is. Agatha is supposed to be the resourceful thinker and Hester wanted to be class captain, you bet she studied like crazy, she probs knows every fairytale in existence.

Then you add that to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Nicola and Hort fiasco and Nic feels like a weirdly written OC insert.

Handbook!Nicola sounded like a smart jock kind of character (read, more Gryffindor than Ravenclaw). Handbook!Nic was a Reader who read the tales as a hobby, but her favorite book is not a tale, it’s a non-fiction book (as far as I can tell). She might not be the fairytale expert, but she sounds like a practical thinker, as sport requires strategy, which is not Hester’s strong suit, given she is rather impulsive, or Agatha’s, given she is often unwilling to make hard decisions due to her Good nature and her own insecurities. C’mon, Handbook!Nic would have taken one look at Hort and sent him running to hills, because she would be able to smell his bs three miles away. She’s no one’s replacement, least of all Sophie’s (whom she probably would not have gotten along with (at least they got this part right) given Sophie’s “my prince will sweep me away from an ordinary life” phylosophy). To be honest she doesn’t sound like she’d be interested in dating at all.

But this post is about Hunter right? Let me remind you, Hunter is not mentioned in Nicola’s introduction, when she talks about her life in Galvadon. Canon!Nicola tells us that she has two brothers who want to inherit her father’s pub in order to sell the place, but Nicola is close with her father and likes working there to some extent, even if she has bigger ambitions. She believes her brothers sent her application as a way to get rid of her.

Back when I still had some faith that Soman had an arc for Nicola that included resolution, I had my theories as to why she wouldn’t mention Hunter: maybe he was to appear in later books and they’d have a huge backstory explaining their friendship, as well as a dramatic confession that Hunter sent her application because he felt Nicola deserved to live an adventure, and Nicola would either realize that she was meant for something more or that she wanted to live a quiet life, honestly either would be nice. I would have taken anything. Truly, if Nicola’s k-pop boyfriend in the OTK epilogue had been replaced with Hunter, I might be able to hate it less.

Especially if they came to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) school wedding as friends. Because you know what?

We are starved for male-female friendships in the SGE universe.

Tedros’s only female friends (all his friends in general) are Agatha’s friends (who all tried to get rid of him at some point, save for maybe Dot) and his actual friends are all dead (Bettina/Chaddick). Hort could be counted as Agatha’s friend, if only he didn’t bash her every five seconds like a moron (he literally pitched the idea that Agatha should be executed by Tedros in OTK, just because he was envious or her relationship with Sophie (not jealous, envious, because Sophie wasn’t his to begin with)) over his delusional sense entitlement of Sophie’s affections (which I hate, but as this is not a Hort-bashing post, I won’t get too much into), but the coven, Beatrix, Renna and co. would not touch him with a stick. Merlin’s friendship with Lady Of The Lake is gone, and Dovey is dead. Rhian and Kei both had that frenemies thing with Sophie in ACOT/beggining of OTK, but I think it was supposed to be romantic? It wasn’t ew (I hate Rhian but he’s also wasted potential, and so was Kei, whom I liked, rest in peace). Japeth hates women for??? Whatever. Willam and Bodgen are such background characters I could not care less about them. The new students weren’t memorable enough for me to remember their names. I think this about covers the main male cast.

There’s a lack of male friendships too, but we kinda have (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Tort and whatever was that rushed Tedros/Chaddick friendship. Rhian and Kei were gay friends (yeah, right, sure, very platonic). Tedros and Rhian could have been friends if Rhian redeemed himself, but otherwise no. Tedros and Filip… gay. Japeth literally killed Rhian, so also not very good friendship between brothers. Hort has no friends, because Ravan would so not be here for his bs. Willam and Bogden are a couple and (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) so were Aric and Japeth, I guess.

Still don’t believe Hunter was wasted potential? Okay, let me tell you what my ideal Nicola arc would be, mixing Handbook!Nicola with some canon!Nicola and including Hunter.

- Nicola is the one inheriting the pub (once she gets married), despite Galvadon’s pre-TLEA sexism and conservative views, because she is her father’s only child and her brothers are actually her older half-siblings from her mother’s previous marriage.

- Her mom died at some point early in her childhood. Not a childbirth tho, because Callis, local witch gynecologist (have you checked my post on this yet? no? you should) was there for her, even if it was a high risk pregnancy because the mom was already older.

- Because of that, Nicola’s father actually sells bread to Callis for cheaper prizes, but don’t tell the elders, shhh

- Anyway, because her mom was gone so early, Nicola was raised by her dad, brothers and by the employees (mostly men, as I don’t think it was all that common for women to work jobs in Galvadon) of her father’s pub. Due to being a girl, most guys weren’t willing to befriend her (sexism, am I right), but because she was a tomboy she had difficulty bonding with the other girls at school, even when they weren’t outright hostile (cof cof Sophie).

- Example: she and Belle had a tentative bond over their love of cooking, but often ran out of things to talk about and the conversation fell flat.

- Which is how she ends up befriending Hunter.

- Hunter is the only boy in a family of many girls and his father works all day. He has a good heart and is rather emotional, but he always feels like he has something to prove, which leads him to being rather impulsive. Both Nicola and Hunter love sports and are very competitive people. Once Nicola gains his respect, he feels very protective of her and often feels the need to stand up for her, even if she doesn’t need it.

- Nicola knows Hunter feels overlooked in his family, so she is always inviting him over and taking care of him, keeping him out of trouble. Her father begins to see him as his own son, and soon he spends more time at Nicola’s house than at his own.

- Everyone thinks they’ll get married some day. His sisters tease him mercilessly about it, and so does Nic’s father, but frankly, Nic and Hunter see each other as family.

- You can bet Hunter is the one teaching Nic about periods after asking his sisters, so she wouldn’t have to suffer with Galvadon’s horrid Sex Ed. (go check the Callis headcanon’s okay, give me clout, that it my favorite post I’ve ever made)

- They tried to kiss once. Nicola vomited and Hunter gaged.

- Hunter is Nicola’s number one supporter and fan, 100% had those gender-equality pins she made for her campaigns all over his bags and jackets.

- Since most wedding matches are arranged by the elders before girls even graduate, it was settled that Nic and Hunter would get married to each other and then inherit the pub. It would of course, be a secretly platonic match and they would suspiciously have no children (Nicola even had a plan to visit Callis to get a potion for infertility, just in case the elders wanted to check on her... okay, I’ll stop).

- Hunter doesn’t tell her, but Nicola knows he wants to marry for love and have a family of his own. She tries to talk him out of marrying her, but he insists that he would be doing it out of love for her, even if not romantic, because Nic didn’t deserve to be matched up with some stranger she barely knows who would no doubt be less tolerant of her more radical views.

- She tells him it’d be fine for him to have a affairs then, but he insists he would never do that to her, because people would talk about Nic if that was the case and her reputation would be ruined.

- The night of Sophie and Agatha kidnapping Nicola tells him she would rather be taken to the School than to stay there and make him live an unhappy life.

- Hunter is horrified (remember, everyone thought going to the school was a fate worse than death) and makes her promise to never treat her life so fickly.

- Sophie and Agatha get taken, come back, but during Tedros’ reign of terror in Galvadon, right before they return to the Woods, Nicola’s father grows very very sick.

- Nic thinks he’s going to die, and she frets, not only because they’re close but also because she can’t inherit the place if she doesn’t marry Hunter. But, well, she sort of always knew, but now that feels very real, she thought she had some more time before that.

- They set a date for the wedding, but thankfully, Tedros and Agatha’s escape ends up causing the ceremony to be delayed.

- By the time the new date is set, there’s no more elders and Stefan is now mayor.

- But just because he is the mayor doesn’t mean the law and the sexism is gone overnight.

- Nic’s father is getting somewhat better, but she is still very worried about him, because of his old age.

- Once SGE starts having applications and has been proved to be, well, somewhat safe, Hunter suggests that Nicola applies, but after the scare that she might lose her father sooner rather than later, she tells him she can’t bring herself to leave him.

- Hunter doesn’t want her to throw her life away, specially now knowing that in the Endless Woods there were people like her and that progress would get there before it ever got to Galvadon

- (He also wants to not marry someone he views as a sister, pls).

- So he files her application in secret.

- Nicola gets accepted, upon Sader’s request and Sophie’s bad luck, into the School For Evil. She and Sophie still don’t get along, the Evil castle rejects her and she gets pushed to Good, becoming an Ever, but she’s only staying until Christmas, because she is worried sick about her father.

- She thinks the application was a plot from her brothers because she doesnt think Hunter would ever betray her trust like that, after she specifically told him she wouldn't go.

- There’s no Hicola, instead, she and Hort become friends and she talks him out of his delusions with Sophie, because as much as Nicola dislikes her, Sophie was a girl too, and deserved to have her feelings respected.

- She also punches Hort into giving up his envy of Tedros and Agatha while at it, because she is just that efficient.

- Everything else up to OTK can be pretty much the same because I can’t remember what happens, other than everytime Nicola is smart girl™, it’s not “because she reads”, but because she is practical.

- Example: on the boat scene where she very pretentiously sasses Agatha for not saying hello to her (canon!Nicola, girl, she just suffered six months of loneliness at Camelot because Tedros shut her out and is now on a quest to save her happy ending, probs didn’t get much sleep, maybe cut her some slack) and then tells her how to sail a boat (despite the fact that there are no boats in Galvadon and I’m sure you can’t just read Peter Pan and learn to sail a boat, unless I did it wrong or something, maybe the storian version comes with a crash course). Here, instead, Nicola presses Hort (who is a pirate’s son) to remember literally anything to help them (therefore making him not completely useless on this quest), and he does and they tell Agatha and she’s like sure and does it.

- Now, in OTK, I literally can’t remember where Nicola was for most of it and I read that book not too long ago, so I’m worried.

- Okay, so, have the Knights Of Eleven actually serve some purpose, include a scene where Tedros and Nicola stress-play rugby and get her some internal conflict.

- Nic now loves this world. She just spent the last few weeks fighting to protect it. She is now a Knight, and she loves the adventures and the new friends she made. Can she really go back to Gavaldon to take care of a pub? Well, she needs to, doesn’t she? That’s what a good daughter would do.

- After Japeth’s execution, Nic goes straight home.

- Her father’s condition is stable, as he is being treated by Hunter and his new wife.

- Oh boy, Hunter has some explaining to do.

- Nicola is furious that he broke her trust, but at the same time, she’s happy he’s happy and well, Hunter what do you have to say for yourself?

- “Damn, Nic, nice armour- ouch, my arm!”

- Apparently, since Nicola was taken, Stefan approved a law for people to be able to leave their inheritance to whomever they wanted. And since Nic was gonna be at the Woods, her father was more than happy to leave it to Hunter. Of course, unless Nicola wanted to stay at Gavaldon.

- Does she? She’s not sure.

- Hunter and Nicola attend the tagatha wedding at Camelot (what, like I wasn’t gonna fix this part?), Hunter is Nic’s plus one.

- There, Hester, Anadil and Dot show her Sader’s note, and ask her, not to become School Master, but to become Dean Of Good, because she would be perfect for the new brand of Good to match Sophie’s Evil. You know, since she is all for gender-equality, good manners, practicality and was particularly good at dealing with Sophie’s bs.

- Since Tedros has the Storian Ring, the pen doesn’t need actual protection, well, not more than it can get from Nic and Sophie.

- Sophie herself insists that Nicola accept the position, not because she doesn’t want to be alone at the school now that Hort and Dovey are dead, no, of course not, since when did Sophie ever need anyone, she was just asking cause… cause Nicola looked lonely. The pretty boy who came with her was not her boyfriend, was he? Sophie was prettier than him anyway. Who needs a boy when they can have her?

- Whether they become a couple or not, I’ll let you decide.

- Bonus: years later, Hunter’s eldest daughter is accepted at the School for Good. Nicola is her godmother, and her favoritism shows.

There, if nothing else, the reason you should be mad about Hunter and the Handbook in general is because this didn’t happen.

#school for good and evil #The School for Good and Evil #nicola of woods beyond #Sophie of Woods Beyond #Hunter of Woods Beyond

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christinesficrecs · 5 years

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Hi gorgeous! ❤ Could you recommend some (probably longer fics) where is "getting to together" and also shown relationship like longer than just first night etc? Butbut please no a/b/o dynamics? (They just aren't my jam..) Other than that it could be anything like au etc... thank you!

Hey! Maybe these ones. Longer fics tend to get a little angsty but these ones are a little more fluffy.

I’ve Been Everywhere With You by Leslie_Knope | 61.5K

“Dude, you should totally come with me.”“What? Like on the road trip?““No, come with me. To Austin. Get out of Beacon Hills.”Derek paused. “What?” he asked again.

The Hollow Moon by thepsychicclam | 180K

It’s the summer after Stiles’ first year of college, and he’s working a crappy job and dealing with nightmares and anxiety - but he’s okay, he swears. He makes it through most days without too much trouble. Then, a certain werewolf comes back into town. Which Stiles doesn’t care about, nope, not at all.After two and a half years, Derek returns to Beacon Hills with his small Pack. Though he tried to move on, something just kept drawing him back to Beacon Hills, he’s just not sure what. Now, he figures he can start building something like a life - but he keeps getting distracted by Stiles Stilinski of all people.

Bittersweet and Strange, Finding You Can Change (Learning You Were Wrong) by WithMyTeeth (Ylith) | 49.9K | Explicit

When perpetual loner and failwolf extraordinaire Derek Hale finally loses patience with his meddling family, he grabs a confused Stiles Stilinski, unsuspecting diner patron and herbal medicine student, off the street to pose as his new boyfriend. Hijinks ensue.

Call Me (Cliché) by SomewheresSword | 84.6K | Mature

When the sheriff's sister ends up in a wheelchair for the duration of summer, Stiles' dreams of three months full of pack bonding, late-night video games and bro-time with Scott come crashing down. He's temporarily relocated to Redford, a three hour drive away, and he can already tell he won't be getting many visitors.

Sure the pack will forget about him while he's gone, Stiles is determined to make the most of his summer of isolation, training his body and mind - and his magic - so he can come back with a bang, and maybe catch a certain Sourwolf's eye.

Then Derek shows up at his window one night with a flimsy excuse about needing research done. Suddenly, his summer away is looking a whole lot more interesting.

Introduction to Zero-Sum Anthropology by apocryphal | 19.7K

Stiles buys Derek a set of cooking spoons. Derek retaliates with lunch.

The war begins.

To Have and to Hold by KouriArashi | 44.2K

“Yes, well, you see . . .” Deucalion cleared his throat again. “In an effort for authenticity, the writer used an actual binding ceremony in the script. The casting director, wanting to make sure it was pronounced correctly, found an actual shaman to perform it. He did so.”

“You – you mean – are you saying that Derek and I are actually married?” Stiles managed to squeeze out of his rapidly closing throat.

Married at First Glance by WonderWolf | 63.5K | Explicit

Married at First Glance gives its participants seven weeks. Seven weeks, starting when they meet and marry their “perfect match”, to decide if they want to stay married or divorce.

For Stiles and Derek though, the challenge lies within trying to pretend that they don’t absolutely hate each other’s guts. When you’re married to a werewolf who dislikes humans, however, this can get a little tricky.

But the sweet, sweet cash reward at the end will be worth it. Right?

only fools rush in by decideophobia | 13.5K

Is it an imaginary date?

No. I met him in a coffee shop.

When?

This morning. It was love on first sight.

Everything mixed up (and baked in a beautiful pie) by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie) | 41.9K

Stiles’ friends are more of a pain in the ass than usual around the holiday season. Just because he spends all of his time at his bakery, doesn’t mean he’s unhappy. So hiring a fake boyfriend seems like the perfect, simple solution. Instead Stiles stumbles onto a stupid quest to make Derek Hale happy. But surely that will all work out in time.

A Bro's Guide to Surviving an Assassination Attempt by TuppingLiberty | 30.8K | Explicit

In college, Stiles stumbled into a gig on YouTube as an activist for supernatural rights. Now in his early twenties, he loves the work he does - that is, until someone wants to kill him for it.

Enter Agent Derek Hale and his team, who are trying to catch a killer, and keep Stiles safe.

#gingerchili #asks #sterek #ficrecs #how stiles and derek got together #fluffy fics #married sterek

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sunmoonandeddie · 5 years

Text

(FAKE) BOYFRIEND DOES MY MAKEUP CHALLENGE BECAUSE I GOT DUMPED

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 4,029

summary: If there’s one thing you hate more than anything, it’s disappointing your viewers. But it’s looking like you might have to, since after your breakup with fellow YouTuber Thor Odinson, you have no one to film a highly requested Boyfriend Does My Makeup Challenge video. That is, until your best friend, Natasha, steps in.

warnings: swearing

masterlist

a/n: Let me know what you think!

“Nat, what the fuck am I going to do?” You asked with a groan, flopping back onto your bed. Your typically immaculate bedroom was in a state of disarray. Clothing was littered all over the floor, your bed hadn’t been made in days. Hell, you couldn’t remember when you last showered, let alone cleaned your room.

“First things first, you’re going to shower,” the redhead said, her nose scrunching up as she sat behind you on the bed. “Because—and I say this with so much in my heart—you reek.”

You huffed, glaring up at her. “I’ve been having a rough time.”

“I know,” she said, though that didn’t stop her from pulling you off the bed and pushing you towards the bathroom. She even went as far as starting the water for you and setting two towels on the toilet for you to grab. “I thought that it was mutual,” she said, having to almost shout over the roar of the water as she pulled herself up to sit on the sink counter.

You frowned at the wall as you lathered the shampoo into your hair. “It… was. But I don’t know…,” you said, “We were together for almost two years. I thought… I thought he was the love of my life. I guess it just hurts to be wrong.”

And that’s truly what the root of it was. You and Thor had been together for a little over a year and a half and it had easily been the best relationship of your life.

But that was clearly over.

You leaned your forehead against the wall, letting the hot water just run over you. “It probably says something that I’m mostly upset about not being able to give my viewers that Boyfriend Does My Makeup video, huh?”

Natasha barked out a laugh, a smile tugging at her lips. She knew you’d be okay after she got you out of your filth. Cleaning your room could come later. First thing after your shower was to get you out of the house. “At least it was mutual and he didn’t, like, cheat on you or anything.”

You scrubbed at your skin with a loofah, letting your conditioner sit in your hair. “We both know that Thor would never cheat on anyone. He can’t keep a secret to save his life, and he’d feel too bad.”

“You’ve got a point,” she said, picking up her phone as it dinged with a notification. “Hey, is it okay if we stop by Sam’s before going grocery shopping?”

“I don’t care,” you said, finishing washing up. You hadn’t been to her boyfriend’s house, but you’d known him since the two of them got together two years before. Every time you’d seen him, it was usually at Natasha’s house. “I thought he filmed on Wednesdays?”

“He does, but he left his favorite pair of tennis shoes at my place.”

Fitness gurus and their fucking tennis shoes.

You finally got out of the shower and brushed your teeth, pulling on fresh clothes for the first time in days. And yeah, it was a hoodie and a pair of leggings, but it still counted.

“No makeup?” Nat asked quietly, and you bit your lip, frowning. The thought of stepping into your filming room was too much at the moment, and that’s where you kept all your makeup.

Part of being a beauty guru and all.

Her hand went to your cheek, pinching it softly before heading for the front door. “Well, you know you look stunning no matter what.”

You let out a weak laugh. “Even when I’m crying?”

“Even when you’re crying.”

Your phone went off when you were almost to Sam’s, and you had to restrain yourself from throwing it out the window.

“Do you still have notifications on for him?” Natasha asked, looking at you with huge green eyes from the driver’s side.

“Um… No?” You hid your phone screen from her the best you could.

She reached over, grasping at it even though she was the one driving. “Hand me your phone.”

“What?! Nat, you’re driving!”

“Give me the phone!”

“No!” You were seriously considering rolling down the window when she snatched it from your hands.

She held onto it until she pulled into Sam’s driveway, reading, “@thorodinson tweeted: ‘New Video Posted: Life Update.’” She turned to you, saying, “Oh, come on. That doesn’t mean it’s about—”

You rolled your eyes, hitting the video and opening it. Your ex’s god-like face popped up on the screen, and he looked a little worse for wear.

“Hello, uh, everyone,” Thor said, rubbing his hands on his jeans. “So, uh… If you haven’t watched my last video, my girlfriend and I decided to end things. I know this’ll come as a shock to everyone—”

Natasha shut off the video, grumbling as she grabbed Sam’s tennis shoes from the backseat, “Okay, okay. But you two are the ones who decided to upload a breakup video together, à la Liza and David.”

“It’s not like we hate each other,” you said as the two of you finally got out of the car. You stared up at the house, eyes widening as you shoved your hands in the pocket of your hoodie. It was easily one of the biggest houses you’d ever seen. “We were good friends before we started dating, and even if it takes us a while, we’ll get back to that eventually. At least, I hope so.”

“That’s a tall order, Bambi.”

“Well, good thing he’s six foot four or whatever.”

She gave you the look that you called the Romanoff Stare, before slipping her key into the front door. “Sam? Baby? I’m here!” She called out, leading you inside.

“Sometimes I forget how much money Sam has,” you said as you looked around the front foyer. It was absolutely stunning, with gorgeous marble flooring and dark mahogany furniture. There was a grand staircase leading from the center of the room up to the second floor.

“It’s not just him,” she reminded you, leading you further inside. “His friends Steve and Bucky live with him, too.”

“Yeah, the… the Fitness Bros, right?” To be completely honest, you hadn’t ever seen any of the groups’ videos. It wasn’t exactly your thing, though you had seen Sam’s vlogs when Natasha was in them.

She bit her lip as she went quiet, clearly listening for where the residents of the house were. After a long moment, a grin spread over her lips. “Technically, they’re ShieldFitness, but they have that rivalry going on with the Science Bros, so yeah. The Fitness Bros. Steve and Bucky are chill. You’d like them.” She waved you along, leading you downstairs. As the door opened, you could hear music blasting and the sound of weights being lifted and dropped and lifted again. “Boys! I’m here!”

When you got to the bottom of the stairs, you froze.

The entire basement had been converted into a state-of-the-art gym.

“Holy shit,” you said, taking it all in. You hadn’t been to a gym in years, not since… Well.

“Hey, baby!”

You looked up just in time to see an extremely sweaty Sam Wilson bound over to Natasha and pull her into a passionate kiss. “Hey, Sam. Nice to see you, too.”

The man in question smirked as he pulled away from the kiss. “Hey, Bambi.” His face fell as he saw the state you were in. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine,” you said with a shrug, pulling out your phone. You could at least pretend to be okay if you kept your nose on your screen.

Natasha shook her head at Sam, mouthing, “She’s not.”

The two other men in the gym hadn’t yet noticed that they had visitors. That, or they were just deciding to ignore the two of you. You were okay with either option, if you were being honest. You hated meeting new people when you didn’t have makeup on, as horrible and insecure as it sounded. It was just… makeup was your thing. You didn’t leave the house without it ninety percent of the time.

You felt your heart sink as you saw the texts your manager had sent you.

Maria Hill: You need to find a video to replace the Boyfriend Does My Makeup one ASAP.

Maria Hill: People are extremely upset about you and Odinson breaking up.

Maria Hill: And I know that you’re upset, and this is going to sound like it’s in poor taste, but your breakup won’t keep people entertained for long. #thambibreakup already stopped trending a few days ago.

“Bambi? You good?”

Rubbing your eyes, you passed the phone to Natasha without another word. Your head was pounding from the effort it took not to cry.

She hummed as she stared down at the phone, though she looked up in surprise as she heard more weights crashing to the ground.

Across the gym, a blond that you vaguely remembered from some of Sam’s vlogs—Steve?—was doing deadlifts. He wiped his brow as he finished his last rep, smiling bashfully down at the ground as the brunet—Bucky, if your memory was right—rushed over.

“You’re steadily dead lifting three hundred pounds, man,” he said, fist bumping the other.

And it was like a light bulb went off in Natasha’s head. “Steve! Get over here!”

Sam eyed his girlfriend suspiciously. “What are you up to?”

“I’m fixing Bambi’s problem, and getting Steve out of the house and the gym,” she said under her breath, before turning to where the man was jogging towards the three of you, the brunet following close behind.

“Hey, Nat, what’s up?” He asked, grabbing his water bottle and chugging down half of it.

You tucked your phone into your hoodie pocket, figuring it’d be rude to be on it when you were getting introduced to new people.

“Steve, this is my best friend, Bambi,” she said, pushing you towards him. “Bambi, this is Steve.”

“Hi. Nice to meet you,” you said, smiling sheepishly as you held your hand out for him to shake. Despite the way you presented on your YouTube channel, you were actually rather shy. Meeting new people was nerve wracking and exhausting, to say the least.

“The pleasure’s all mine,” he said, shaking your hand firmly. It surprised you a little when he clasped his free hand over it, squeezing softly as his startling blue eyes met yours.

Your cheeks went red as he realized he’d been shaking your hand for a few moments longer than what was probably considered normal, and he dropped it quickly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“And I’m Bucky,” the brunet said, inserting himself into the conversation. He was grinning, knowing that he had interrupted what one might consider a moment.

“Hi, Bucky, I’m Bambi,” you said with a giggle, your cheeks going red as he shot you a playful wink.

Natasha rolled her eyes at his antics before turning back to the blond. “So, Steve, how would you feel about doing Bambi’s makeup?”

“What?!” You whirled on Natasha, eyes widening.

His brows furrowed as his eyes darted back and forth between the two of you. “I mean… I’m not opposed. What for?”

“Bambi was going to film a Boyfriend Does My Makeup video with Thor Odinson before they broke up last week, and she’s worried about disappointing her viewers while her manager is on her ass about putting out more content.”

“Look, it’s ridiculous,” you said, shaking your head rapidly. “You don’t have—”

“I’d love to.”

“—to do it just because—” You broke off, blinking at him slowly. “Wait… What?”

Steve shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I’d love to be in your video. I don’t know anything about makeup, but I’ll do my best.”

You couldn’t help but grin. “It kind of makes it better if you don’t know anything.” For just a second, you forgot about all the shit surrounding your breakup as you stared into his eyes.

“Name a time and a place, sugar.”

The next morning, you rushed around your house, desperately trying to make sure there was no sign of your post-breakup-sadness left. You’d spent the night before cleaning your room and scrubbing down the kitchen. There’d been dishes piled up from the past week, covered in whatever you’d managed to make in your stupor after getting through the first few days with zero appetite.

You had just finished setting up your filming room when you heard the knock on your front door. “Coming!” You shouted, bounding down the stairs. Your socked feet slid against the hardwood floor, and you took a deep breath before throwing open the door, revealing Steve. “Hey!”

“Hey, yourself,” he said, before holding up a takeout bag. “I got us lunch. Natasha mentioned that you were dying to try that new sushi place on forty-second, so I figured…”

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said, shock written all over your face. He was already filming a video for your channel as a favor. Not to mention, on such short notice. Hell, you’d never done a collaboration without more than three days’ notice, let alone less than twenty-four hours.

He stepped inside as you led him through, up to the makeup room.

“We can eat while we do the video,” you said, flicking on the light for your filming room. It was a little dimmer than most normal ceiling lights, but you kept it that way since you just used a ring light for your videos anyway. “This is where the magic happens.”

“This is… amazing,” he said with a bit of a laugh as he took in your whole set up. “This is way nicer than the stuff we use on our channels.”

You shrugged, your cheeks going a little red as you sat down on the bench in front of your vanity. “Yeah, but I’m sure your equipment can handle a lot more roughhousing, since it’s used in a gym and everything.”

Steve hummed in response, the trance not breaking for another few seconds.

When he finally took his seat next to you, you let out a long huff of air. “Do we just want to wing it?” You asked, biting your lip.

“Whatever you want, sugar,” he said, his warm smile reassuring you.

After a final nod for confirmation, you grabbed the little remote for your camera and hit the record button. After a second, the little red light appeared and you grinned, immediately jumping into your YouTuber personality. “Hello, gorgeous, and welcome to my channel!” You knew that your subscribers would be able to tell that you were a little bit off, but then again, practically the entire YouTube community knew about the breakup by now. “So, as you can probably tell by the title of this video, we’re going to be doing the Boyfriend Does My Makeup Challenge. But…” You trailed off, motioning to Steve. “This isn’t the usual tall, blond, hunk of a man you’re used to seeing. This is Steve Rogers, A.K.A. one-third of the channel ShieldFitness.”

“Hello!” He said, his blue eyes twinkling. He was kind of mesmerized by just how many products were in front of him, and he could see several makeup towers against the wall, out of view, that definitely held much, much more.

“Steve has so graciously agreed to do this video after Natasha guilt tripped him, because I got dumped,” you said, grinning as Steve barked out a laugh. He clearly hadn’t been expecting how blunt you were going to be with the situation. Your gaze softened a little as you took in the sight of him laughing, his hand clapping over his chest as his nose scrunched up.

He was… quite beautiful.

“So, what do you say we jump right in?”

Steve nodded, letting out one last, breathless chuckle as he tried to regain his composure. “Alright, uh… I have no idea what I’m doing, so we’ll see how this goes.” He stared at the products on your desk for what felt like forever.

“I haven’t put on any products at all. This is my face fresh from the shower.” You suddenly remembered that he had picked you up lunch, and you grabbed the bag. “While you do that, I’m going to unpack some of this food.” While he tried to decide where to start, you continued to talk to the camera, setting take out containers no the vanity, “Can we just talk about how amazing this man is? He almost gets blackmailed into doing this video, and he still brings me food without me asking.”

“Uh… We start with this stuff, right?” He asked, holding up a bottle of lotion. “Natasha puts… something like this on her face before makeup, I think.”

Lotion.

You shrugged, trying not to make a face. “This is all on you, buddy.”

God, you hoped he didn’t put actual lotion on your face.

Helplessly, you watched as he squirted a little bit out onto his fingers, before turning to you. “May I?” He asked, waiting until you nodded to start gently rubbing it into your skin.

The fact that he’d put lotion on your face instead of moisturizer meant that you were going to have to wash your face immediately after, no matter how the makeup turned out. If you left it on for too long, there was no way your face wasn’t going to break out.

“You’re grimacing,” he said with a groan, pursing his lower lip as he finished rubbing the lotion into your face. “I already messed it up, didn’t I?”

“No, no,” you giggled, shaking your head. “Keep going.”

After a moment’s hesitation, he turned back to the neatly organized products. “Uh… Well, this says primer, so that means it has to go first, right?” He frowned, realizing he wasn’t going to get an answer from you and he wasn’t allowed to use his phone.

It was kind of killing you that he was using his fingers for everything so far.

“Can you at least tell me the order you do things in?” He asked, looking a little overwhelmed. “Because my ex did her makeup face, eyebrows, eyes, lips. But Natasha does it eyebrows, eyes, face, lips when she does it at our house.”

“I do it how Natasha does it.” You took the momentary break to snatch a takeout container marked ‘spider roll’ and a pair of chopsticks.

He nodded, scanning the vanity until he found what he must’ve been looking for. “Okay, eyebrows.” He held up a little Anastasia Dipbrow, and you could’ve wept with happiness at his choice.

There was hope for him, yet.

Steve took a moment to dig through your brushes, before picking out a Morphe M124 brush—a firm shadow brush definitely not meant for eyebrows. “So, how’d you get the name ‘Bambi?’” He asked as he leaned in close, carefully bringing the brush to your brows. His breath smelled of mint gum, and his hand was a pleasant warmth against your face.

“Because Nat says I’m the clumsiest person she’s ever met,” you said with a short laugh, trying your best not to mess him up. “She said that I remaindered her of a newborn fawn. We actually became friends because I tripped and spilled queso all over her when we were in college, and then sat with her in the laundry room for two hours.

You had no idea what happened with eyeshadow, since he made you close your eyes during the entirety of it. And you were surprised with how well he managed to put on mascara.

“I use this thing, right? And… what’s it called?... I bounce it or something,” he said, brows furrowing as he stared at one of your many Beauty Blenders. He picked out a foundation from the eighteen you had sitting on the vanity, and he carefully began to drag it across your skin.

Dry. He was dragging your dry Beauty Blender across your face.

“I don’t like that you’re biting your lip,” he muttered, though there was an embarrassed smile on his lips.

“Why not?” You laughed.

“It makes me nervous because I know I’m doing something wrong,” he said, his blue eyes flickering up to meet yours for just a second before he quickly looked away again, his cheeks tinging pink.

“You’re doing… fantastic,” you reassured him, though the both of you knew it was only half-true at best.

He shot you a look, and your heart fluttered a little in your chest.

Steve went quiet for a few moments, before asking, “So what happened between you and Thor?” After a second, he quickly added, “You don’t have to tell me. And I don’t know if you like doing jump cuts in your editing or if you even want people to know what happened and—”

“Steve, it’s fine,” you said, effectively cutting him off. You took in a deep breath. “Uh… Well… We just kind of grew apart, I guess. We both want different things from life and, hell, his move out to L.A. just kind of showed us how much it wasn’t working anymore. We’ll always be friends, and I’ll always love him, but… I don’t know. It’s more of a family kind of love now, if that makes sense?”

“It makes total sense.”

“And it was no one’s fault. Truly.” You closed your eyes as you spotted him grab your translucent powder. Usually you used it to bake your face, but he just did an all over dusting. “What we had was really, really good, and I’ve never had anything bad to say about him.” You paused. “Except that sometimes he forgot to put the seat down and I’d fall into the toilet at three in the morning.”

He barked out a laugh, shaking his head in amusement. You could feel him putting on what you hoped was blush and contour, but you had no way to tell without opening your eyes, and you were just enjoying having someone do your makeup for once and not the other way around.

“Okay,” he said after smearing what you prayed was lipstick. “I think I’m done.”

“Alright, let’s see what you’ve done,” you said, pulling out a hand mirror. You’d put the mirror you usually kept in the center of the ring light beneath the vanity, in order to keep yourself from peeking. Your eyes widened as you took in your face, your hand slapping over your mouth.

Your foundation was a little bit thin, with how he’d dragged it across your skin and foregone concealer. Your eyebrows were a good shape, though they were extremely blocked out. Your eyes were alright. He’d gone simple, only using a shimmery pink eye shadow on the lid. But, once again, he hadn’t used concealer to set a base. It didn’t look bad, just not as good as it could’ve gone. There was even a little bit of gold in the corner of your eyes. Your mascara was only covering about half of your lashes, and he hadn’t done your bottom ones, but that was probably out of fear, and you wouldn’t fault him that. Your contour was a little heavy, and your blush almost nonexistent. Your lipstick was… acceptable.

“Ta da,” he said, trailing off as he waited for your reaction.

A laugh bubbled from your lips as you touched your face. “This isn’t the best I’ve seen, but it definitely isn’t the worst,” you said.

“You know what,” he mused, a triumphant grin on his face. “I’ll take it.”

Later that night, after you spent three hours editing everything and posted the video, your phone dinged.

Maria Hill: The Boyfriend Does My Makeup Challenge video was brilliant. No one can shut up about how cute it is.

You hesitated for a moment before muttering, “Fuck it,” and shooting a text off to Steve.

Bambi: Everyone loves the video :)

It took less than two minutes to receive a response.

Steve Rogers: That’s great! Let me know if you ever want to do another video! Goodnight, sugar :)

Bambi: Goodnight, Steve :)

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