#bringing balance to the force one post at a time

[caotictimmy]

Hey!!! Can you do Curly x (gn, but it's okay if you don't! Whatever you prefer writing) reader headcanons? Post or pre crash idk it's up to you! Even if you want to write a one-shot I don't mind really whatever you feel like writing it's up to you I JUST NEED CURLY CONTENT JDJDJDJJWJSBSB

Btw I hope you have a wonderful day!!!

Thank you!!! I hope your having a good day to! I’m gonna be doing pre crash Curly. I’ll probably be doing the same format I did with Daisuke. Crushing - confessing. Dating than NSFW. It will prob be more Gn but I’ll put (AFAB) when in gonna talk about more AFAB stuff. (Btw this is gonna be like what a regular trip would be for them.)

Crushing - Confession

- Kind of like love at first sight. But it’s a love at first true conversations. Lemme explain

- Yes you’ve had conversations with Curly before. But not on a personal level. Your guys first conversation was prob Like you guys were either both up going to get coffee at a late hour. So when you both see each other where the coffee machine is. You guys make small talk. Before the conversation starts get more real. Not just forced talking. The conversation flows freely. And you guys find out you have a lot more in common.

- After that moment he realizes how much you guys click together. You interest him. So except for him to come up and talk to you a lot more. He wants to get to know you better! (Totally not to remember everything you like and love to woe you)

- He’s another person who’s gonna be a bit obvious. Not as much as Daisuke though. But he’s still gonna be obvious.

- Curly definitely treats you better. Not like he doesn’t treat his crew good (jimmy doesn’t exist here.). But it’s more like picking favorites. Opening doors for you, before letting it slam shut even though Swansea was just about to walk through the door. (Curly got an ear full after that happened.).

- But the funny thing is that no one really notices that you’re getting treated better. Except for Daisuke funny enough… For another example imagine they have his surprise birthday party! He’s cutting the cake and he gives you a noticeable bigger piece of cake. Giving Daisuke a smaller piece. And let me tell you. This man was outraged. HE ASKED FOR THE BIGGEST PIECE AND CURLY GIVES HIM A SCHOOL PARTY SIZED PIECE?

- So of course he had to speak up. “Listen Curly, since I’m such a righteous man, I’ve let the favoritism towards them slide. BUT I CLEARLY ASKED FOR THE BIGGER PIECE! AND YOU GIVE THEM THE BIGGEST PIECE. I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS TREATMENT ANY LONGER!”

- To say everyone was stunned is an understatement. It was quiet for a good couples of minutes. Just standing still like the moment was paused. You then silently switched plates with Daisuke. Taking the smaller piece. He then found balanced was restored!

- “never mind Curly now I get why you favorite them.” He said looking over to you before raising his hand. “High five dude!” He said, smilingly giddily. (I love daisuke he’s so silly!)

- To say Curly was embarrassed would be an understatement. After that moment Curly knew he had to confess to you to soon. So he called you down to the cock pit. When you got there he lead you to sit in one of the chairs. Crouching before you. Holding your hands on his as he stares up at you. “You’ve made me feel emotions I’ve never truly felt before, god you mean so much to me. Will you be my partner.”, He asked.

- When you say yes he cups yours face with his hands. Leaning upwards to bring you in a passionate kiss.

Dating

- Like I said in that brief moment In Daisuke’s headcanons. This man is a die hard romantic to his core. So if you don’t mind. Curly would love to cuddle with you in bed, while watching sappy love movies. Just holding each other. God he loves you sm I’m gonna tweak up in this bitch.

- I think the affection he likes to receive is quality times and words of affirmation . And I think the affection he gives is acts of service and physical affection. Now let me cook. Guys LET.ME.COOK

-(receiving) Curly loves spending time with you. He tried to find as much time to fit you into his busy schedule. So when he finally gets to spend time with you. Omg he’s love sick!!!!!! He really doesn’t care what you guys are doing while being together. Whether that be doing or watching something together. Or maybe doing your own stuff. Your presence is so comforting. You calm him down sm.

-(receiving) He receives compliments a bit. But when you do it. It’s different. It makes his heart flutter, makes him feel like he has butterflies in his stomach all over again! He just feels so special when you compliment him!!!! Please compliment how good of a captain he is. Yes he gets praised for being a good captain. It just feels so genuine from you.

-(giving) He doesn’t care how you guys spend your quality time together. Whether that be doing or watching something together. Or just doing your guys own thing. He just loves being in your presence. You being there just makes him feel calmer, he knows he doesn’t have to keep this big stoic act in-front of you. He doesn’t mind if theirs silence or background noise. As long as he got to spend time with you.

-(giving) Curly isn’t gonna be doing big/a lot of physical affection all the time. Even though he does give you a lot of physically affection. I know I sound dumb right now stay with me. He’s more soft with his affection. Gently rubbing his thumb on your hand. Drawing shapes on your back while cuddling. Rubbing your leg when you sit next to him on the couch. Kissing a bruise you got from falling(those floors look slippery asf PROVE ME WRONG). He’s very romantic and soft with you and Curly’s just such a sweetie.

- A SUCKER for pda. Like he loves it so much. He feels bad if he has to “hide” how much he loves you away from the world! He feels so special knowing you wanted him, HIM! He’s just so sickly in love with you. He wants to show you off. Not in a trophy wife way but in a. Yeah see the drop dead gorgeous person that picked ME, yea that’s right, be jealous.

- He loves if you draw in him! From his hands to his arms. I think he finds it very relaxing and therapeutic. As long as you don’t draw anything inappropriate, he won’t care what you draw. He WILL proudly show off the drawings on his hands and arms. Like FLEX his arms. He loves them sm. Every time you draw on him, he takes a picture and keeps it in a folder on his phone.

- Loves anything you make him. Bracelets? Wears them all the time he might acually get a permanent imprint. Clothe? Try’s to find any opportunity to wear them. Art? Hung proudly in his bedroom. He appreciates anything you do for him. No matter what form affection it is.

- This man loves slinging his arm/arms around you. Arms around your waist. Arm around your shoulder. Hand on your hip. Idk why I think he likes it. But I have that spicy sense.

NSFW - DO NOT READ IF YOUR A MINOR OR UNCOMFORTABLE WITH NSFW (AFAB)

- Another man who would be into public/semi public sex. Y’all have DEFINITELY done it in the cockpit. Like almost everywhere. Curly and you have probably done it on the table too(you guys cleaned it afterwards don’t worry). But I think he just loves the thrill of it. You guys have almost been caught but thankfully Curly knows how to be quiet! (No shade to you Daisuke we love you)

- This man loves keeping his hands on you. Like a FIRMM grip on your hips as he’s hitting it. Gripping yours thighs. He just likes sinking his fingers in your soft flesh. Somehow just kinda grounds him in the moment. He also just loves feeling up your body.🫢

- Speaking of feeling you up. Dry humper. DRY HUMPER. I feel like this man is a tease. So this man will pin you against a wall, and just grind on you. Teasing you until you can’t take it anymore! He loves seeing a pout on your face before he gives you what you want.

- Like before, curly is a tease. He will push all your buttons. Just get you right there! Then stops. He wants to make sure when you climax. It’s better than the last time you guys had sex. It’s a GOAL for him to make you feel even better than the last time you guys slept together.

- Loves overstimulating you. Unlike Daisuke who accidentally overstimulates you. It’s Curly’s mission to get you brain dead by the end. He knows he’s making you feel good. This man won’t over do it though. Your comfort and safety is his priority! So he’ll always make sure you’re comfortable.

- Call him captain!!!!! God Curly gets so riled up when you call him captain. Teasingly calling him captain earns you a night of either overstimulation or edging. So I hope you are aloud to take sick leave, cause wooo…. You will be sore my friend

- (AFAB) Sit on his face.. OH GOOD GOLLY SIT ON HIS FACE. I imagine he’s buff. Like have you SEEN that fanart. So he can definitely take a lot of weight!( shout out my cubby AFABs i really wanna make a chubby reader FIC but idk..) BUT PLEASS, he’ll beg on his hands and knees. Like why are you keeping that tantalizing gift away from him???

- Yes I’ve been saying he can be a freak.(guys I promise I’m trying to be original 😭🙏) But I definitely think he’s More into romantic, soft sex. He likes to take his time. Kissing up and down your body. He wants to make sure you feel loved, and that he’s not just using you for your body. He is a sucker for you.

- He loves watching your face when he’s pleasuring you. No matter what he’s doing or where. He wants to know your getting pleased! That’s how he figured out what you liked and didn’t like fast. He kept his eyes trained on your face. He truly is a giver!

Authors note: GUYS I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. IVE BEEN HAVIBD SIRE AFFECTS FROM MY PLAN B. Like dude I’ve been bed ridden for the past two days. But I’m feeling better and it’s the weekend. So more requests are on the way!

[thedarkdisgrace]

Ok, follow up post to the original cause I wanted to actually offer my analysis/interpretation on this.

I feel like this is a right/left brain analogy 🧵

Dazai covering his right side, the side supposedly responsible for the emotional & artistic things. It says alot about his mindset, accurate for that time.

It’s intriguing, then, Kouyou covers the “logical” side

I feel like this lends to why Chuuya & Kouyou do get along well. While both Chuuya & Kouyou are no doubt very intelligent (Asagiri literally refers to Chuuya as a genius) they both still lean very much into their emotional side as well. Even if Kouyou seemingly does so less.

Kouyou reveals herself, however, not only in her care for Chuuya but we mainly see it how she handled the situation with Kyoka.

She could have insisted Kyoka come back without ever changing her mind but when Dazai presents her with a way to save Kyoka from dark, she agrees quickly.

Kouyou clearly cares & wanted to help & protect Kyoka even if she went about it poorly. She was trying to help based on her past experiences, lest we forget that she tried to leave the mafia herself once, for *love* no less. She also tends to get emotional when talking about her past or her wish to help Kyoka.

But once she was presented with another solution, a far better one, she didn’t do “what’s best for the mafia”. Kouyou agreed to what was best for Kyoka & that was definitely a more emotional choice.

This is an area where Chuuya & Kouyou align. So, of course they would get along.

Chuuya always seems to find the balance between his logic and emotion. However, he can easily & often does lean more into his emotional side first, then his logical side.

It’s similar for Kouyou, even if we don’t see it as much from her.

Back to Dazai then, when he left the mafia & the cover on Dazai’s “emotional side” was gone Dazai seemed to also move more towards that balancing of the two sides.

He started off heavily relying on his logical brain & struggled emotionally. Often feeling numb or apathetic mostly, hence his suicidal ideation.

Then he meets Chuuya & this shifts. Chuuya forces him to experience new feelings. As Chuuya is a living breathing example of most things Dazai felt the world lacked. It opened Dazai to the idea that there is more to the world, there is more to *people*. Chuuya intrigues Dazai enough to make him want to live a little longer again. Chuuya gave him a reason to keep going, a promise of more.

From the moment he met Chuuya, it was a process of letting more & more emotions seep into his mind & his heart. We see how he feared for Chuuya in 15 even after they just met, even though Dazai *knew* it was a plan.

I might even venture to go as far as to say Dazai may not have feared for someone else’s life that hard before. It was a burst of unrecognizable emotions to him. After this, he only had more & more emotion seep in as the years went by. In Storm Bringer he was ready to sacrifice the city to give Chuuya a choice.

That relationship opened Dazai up to others later, namely Oda & Ango. Which only further encouraged the intermingling of his logical brain and his emotions. Then reaching the point at which the bandages were finally removed entirely and then he, like Chuuya, moved to striving to find the balance rather than relying on one side.

Bringing us back to current Dazai as he is still attempting to find that balance.

He still leans more towards his logical side. This, of course, in contrast to Chuuya who, while intelligent, more easily leans into the emotional.

Yet another thing between them that completes & balances each other. Soukoku will always pull the other back when drifting too far.

So, of course, Soukoku complement each other & it benefits them both.

Having Kouyou on Chuuya’s other side I think also does help Chuuya stay grounded while in the mafia. Chuuya isn’t one to lose who he is but I think having someone else who he knows *cares* like he does helps.

Now, additionally, if we apply this to Beast, I think this also says alot about beast Dazai & why Asagiri says beastzai would be the hardest for someone to portray.

Because *this* Dazai, is perhaps *too* far into his emotional side. He’s always intelligent but in beast, his actions aren’t fully logical, they’re emotional.

He appears cold & calculating as always but he saw another version of himself suffer the great loss of a best friend & allowed his emotional desire to prevent that from happening take control. Thus, his emotional side takes over, thus him covering the opposite side from canon Dazai, he’s covering his “logical” side.

I feel like this is the main difference between all the various Dazai we’ve seen.

PM Dazai relied heavily on his logical side, especially before meeting Chuuya. He rarely took emotion into account unless it involved the 3 people he actually cared for. We see him make emotional choices when it involves Chuuya, Oda, and Ango. Dazai did seem to let more and more emotion seep in over time as a result of knowing them, however, leading to that moment the bandages are removed.

Beastzai is leaning far too heavily into his emotional side, getting lost in it even. Acting solely on an emotional desire rather than a logical one. His desire to prevent a tragedy. He only was using his intellect to further that emotional desire.

Canonzai went through a steady progression, meeting Chuuya starts to open him up, this extending over time to Oda & Ango, leading to the cover on his “emotional” side being taken off.

But beastzai skipped all of that, all the *progression* to that point for canonzai & so beastzai just got all these intense emotions he never experienced before all at once when he saw canonzai’s memories & therefore he sunk far too deep, too quickly into his emotions.

Now current/ADA Dazai is the balance of the two extremes, and seemingly the closest to happiness.

ADA Dazai uses his logical brain as always but he also actually takes emotion into account as well and has more people he actually cares for now.

I think that says alot to the theme of bsd, leaning into that “everything is grey” dynamic. Everything is about the *balance* of things. Showcasing that anything in extremes in either direction doesn’t work.

Anyway, just some thoughts I had and interpretations of mine. Take them as you want, as always.

Oh and just to be clear, I don’t think Dazai was ever “emotionless”, even at his worse. Even if he was numb and apathetic. He was also lonely.

Just saying the more people he came to care about (Chuuya, Oda, Ango then later the ADA) the more he was able to feel a variety of emotion.

My original post:

[bamsara]

I dont know if it was intentional but I love that Narinder when he sees Lamb throwing up he turns gentle and pushes their wool and ears back so they dont get stained with vomit and for some reason it reminded me of how when Nari was throwing up too after the nightmare he had when they were on route to fight Leshy, Lambert helped him with camellias for the nausea.

Ahh, parallels. I think.

IM SO GLAD YOU POINTED THAT OUT allow me to ramble for just a moment.

Narinder was trapped in the Afterlife for over 1000 years, with little social skills and plagued by wishing for vengeance and his only company being two kittens who become disciples under his rule. He has terrible social skills, if not lacking them entirely.

(I would argue that Aym and Baal also have horrific nonexistent social skills, so those three cat's can't really help each other communicate properly to anyone else outside themselves.)

It can be argued that since The One Who Waits had other vessels to pass time and try to kill /annoy his siblings before the prophesized Lamb arrival, that he would have developed them a little bit more, but I would argue that the power balance would have been oodles more severe since the vessels weren't the promised one. He didn't need them, so if they no longer were of service or disobeyed him, he got rid of them. Whether just sending them out or killing them, any how.

Lamb, however, knows they are the last Lamb, the prophesized liberator of The One Who Waits, and therefore his only option. They knew that they were his only reasonable way out of there (whether they asked for it or not) so they were oodles more comfortable than how a professional relationship would have been.

So they asked questions, bothered him, played and ran around him. Complained and vented to him. Yapped and yapped. What is he gonna do? Kill them? Find a new vessel? He can't. "You're as trapped into this prophecy as much as I am, so let's be friends"

Example parts from Chapter 3:

The power balance equalizes because Lamb did not see his presence a God, but rather a fellow prisoner and victim of fate. Rude and demanding, but in the same chains as they were. 'My lord' was simply formalities at first.

This puts Narinder / The One Who Waits in social situations he hasn't been in (or hardly been in) in over a thousand years, and frankly, he had no idea how to navigate them:

Example from Chapter 5:

The God of Death has not needed to comfort or 'be there' for someone in a long, long time. The Lamb's presence is what forces him to try, even if his first attempt aren't perfect. So in that same chapter, he'll ask them a question to distract them. Conversation. Like how they do it.

While I won't post a screenshot of everytime this happens in written format (not including the dreams/memories/flashbacks that haven't been posted yet)-

The One Who Waits is pushed outside of his bubble when it comes to socializing in a way that isn't just 'God-to-Lowly-Vessal' format. He has to talk to them like a person, because he's being talked to like a person, not a god on a pedestal.

Obviously after the final battle and betrayal (to both of them, otherwise known as the Grand Miscommunication) this means nothing for a while as tempers are still high and feelings are hurt. But overtime, this returns, and can show in small ways (ways that may not seem like comfort but is certainly an attempt) like just in Chapter 18:

Trying to bring them an 'offering' (breakfast) mirroring other times the Lamb has done the same for him:

Crudely offering to replace something they are upset at losing/later offering reassurance abet in a curt way:

And what you mentioned: earlier when the Lamb is throwing up, narration shows they're having trouble with keeping their wool, cloak, bell, ect all back at the same time. He can see that. He has a mental boiling pot explosion over the fact that helping them is even a want that he has after the denial crisis he's experiencing where the only answer a minute ago seemed like he needed to kill them, and he chose comfort.

It is intentional. Narinder is learning how to show care, and allowing himself to show care. Slowly, and not perfect, but learning.

[rxmxa]

The 6th house (our boundaries & habits) pt. one 💗

In discussing the 6th house, Howard Sasportas emphasizes, “Our true vocation is to be ourselves, no more, no less. And the consequences for not respecting the truths of our nature are stress, frustration, and disease.”

ᯓᡣ𐭩 This quote highlights why comparing your routines to others can be so harmful. You have to work with your energy; forcing yourself into routines that don’t align with it can lead to frustration and, ultimately, burnout.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 As I mentioned in another post, “The 6th house might be the best tool for setting boundaries because it aligns with the Virgo-Pisces axis. Your structured routines, daily interactions, and habits (Virgo/6th house) directly impact your mental health, sleep, and subconscious mind (Pisces/12th house) and vice versa. You can’t care for your mental health (Pisces) without analyzing or expressing your feelings (Virgo), and you can’t verbalize how you feel without actually experiencing those emotions (Pisces). It’s all about balance. For instance, neglecting self-care (Virgo/6th house) could lead to consequences like hospitalization (Pisces/12th house).”

ᯓᡣ𐭩 The planets and signs in the 6th House show how your daily routine can take an ugly turn when energy is not directed in your best interests. Some examples of how that energy has manifested from friends and family:

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Leo (Mars) in the 6th House: When she neglects nurturing her daily routines, she feels insecure about her image (Leo) and drained of her energy (Mars). For her, showing up to work looking her best (Leo) is essential, especially as a teacher, where every day is a performance. On days when she rolls out of bed without spending time on her looks, she doesn’t feel she’s giving her best. For someone else, like a Pisces placement, going with the flow might be less stressful, but for her, it’s different. She feels judged by her coworkers (Mars in the 6th can bring that feeling of scrutiny), so she toned down her bold outfits and unique hair (Leo), but this, in turn, made her feel less driven and engaged (Mars) in her DAILY LIFE and job (6h).

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Aquarius (Moon) in the 6th House: If she doesn’t take time for herself, she gets drained very quickly. Aquarius Moons need to prioritize rest and personal space to recharge. When she neglects to nurture her daily routine, she feels overwhelmed and frustrated (moon) with the collective (aqua). She was working at a nonprofit working with refugees and asylums, and she was very invested in her work to the point where she wasn’t taking any sick days or mental health days, and it took an immense toll on her. Keeping some emotional distance is suitable for Aquarius' energy because it helps them solve problems objectively (aqua energy) and help others without getting too stressed out. The Moon controls our emotions and our need for comfort. When Aquarius is in the 6th House about daily work and service, the emotionally demanding nature of daily routines can clash with their objectivity. If they don’t take time for routine breaks and emotional self-care, this can make them feel compassion fatigue.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Aries (Jupiter) in the 6th House: She thrives on motivation and needs to feel inspired by her work to stay engaged. If a job doesn’t light that fire, she’ll move on quickly in true Aries fashion. With Jupiter here, she often jumps from one position to the next, seeking purpose and expansion. When she’s not compensated fairly or feels her insights aren’t valued, she becomes drained and unmotivated (Aries) in her daily routines (6H). Jupiter in Aries in the 6th House brings a lot of energy and optimism to work, but she needs to feel that her role has room for growth and respects her drive to stand out. The 6th House represents daily routines and service, and Aries energy wants freedom to take action. Jupiter, ruling growth and wisdom, makes her want to feel like her work is both challenging and meaningful. Without these elements, she quickly becomes restless, feeling stuck and undervalued.

ᡣ • . • 𐭩 ♡ so think about it like this: when you embody the energy of your 6th house and shape your daily routines using that energy you will notice a boost in energy, motivation and feel good knowing you are setting your boundaries with others and keeping promises to yourself. BUT, when things are going wrong you will know because you will be feeling the OPPOSITE of that energy or the shadow side of it.

ᡣ • . • 𐭩 ♡ You don't need to have a planet in your 6h to decipher this for yourself, it just adds another layer of investigating if you do (Look at the sign and house of the planet that rules your 6th house to get a better sense of it. For example, if your 6th house is in Taurus and Venus rules your 9th house, you may find that learning new things or exploring spirituality makes your daily life better, while ignoring these things may make you feel bored or uninspired).

But anyways, back to the 6h, based on my friends charts, the shadow side looked like:

Leo or Sun in the 6th: The shadow side might show up as insecurity or feeling judged. You need to feel like you're being seen and appreciated for who you are and what you have to offer.

Aquarius or Saturn in the 6th: The shadow side can look like over-investment, leading to emotional burnout. You need to feel like your work is full-filling and impactful but also without it taking a toll on your physical and mental health AND ALSO that it does not negatively shape your feelings for the causes you are passionate about.

Aries or Mars in the 6th: The shadow side may involve impatience, frustration, or a restless need for change. You need to feel like a beast! Like you are THAT GIRL!!! (its about drive its about power we stay hungry we devour). but fr, you need to feel like your work has purpose and the energy you are exerting has MEANING with visible results.

Like I said if you don't have planets in the 6h that's okay. Look at the energy of the sign alone first, for example:

Capricorn in the 6th house (can apply to saturn in the 6h too): you have a strong desire for structure and consistency in your daily life. The shadow might be feeling stressed out because of too much work or not enough free time.

Gemini in the 6th house (can also apply to mercury in the 6h): You need mental stimulation and a variety of tasks in your daily life. On the other hand, with the shadow side your energy could be spread out or you might feel like you have too many commitments and need to relax.

Taurus in the 6th House (can also apply to venus in the 6h): you like stable, comfortable, and valuable routines. The shadow side can show up as not wanting to change, being set in your ways with habits, or sticking to old habits that don’t do you just because they feel comfortable.

Cancer in the 6th House (can also be applicable to moon in the 6h): You approach daily tasks with care and intuition and usually like working in a place that makes you feel supported. The shadow side could be an emotional attachment to routines or a weariness from always wanting to help others without setting limits.

Virgo in the 6th House (could be applicable to mercury in the 6h too): You naturally keep things in order and pay close attention to the little things when you do daily tasks. Perfectionism, overthinking, or being too hard on yourself if things aren’t done right could be signs of the shadow side.

Libra in the 6th House (could apply to venus in the 6h as well): In your daily life, you look for balance and harmony; routines often feel best when they’re pleasant to do and look good. On the dark side, you might not be able to make up your mind or put the needs of others ahead of your own to keep the peace, which can make you feel angry and have you acting out in passive-aggressive ways or being snappy. 

Scorpio in the 6th House (could apply to pluto in the 6h as well): You’re intense and deeply committed to your routines, so you often change how you do your daily work and health (aka constantly transforming). When you push yourself too hard, you might become obsessed, or if you don’t think your efforts are being valued, you might mistrust others, especially your coworkers or the people you interact with daily.

Sagittarius in the 6th House (or jupiter in the 6h): you need freedom, grow, and feel like you’re on an adventure. On the other hand, the shadow side could include restlessness, trouble committing to one thing, or ignoring responsibilities if they feel too limited or u feel trapped.

Pisces in the 6th House (or neptune in the 6h): You're naturally caring and must go about your days gently. the shadow side might be avoiding routine, or feeling too busy with daily tasks and if they don’t have a sense of purpose or creativity, the shadow side may also show itself.

[burst-of-iridescent]

South Asian and Hindu Influences in ATLA (Part 1)

disclaimer: i was raised culturally and religiously hindu, and though i've tried to do my research for this post and pair it with my own cultural knowledge, i'm not an expert on hinduism by any means. should i mess up, please let me know.

please also be aware that many of the concepts discussed in this post overlap heavily with religions such as buddhism and jainism, which might have different interpretations and representations. as i'm not from those religions or cultures, i don't want to speak on them, but if anyone with that knowledge wishes to add on, please feel free.

it's well-known that atla draws from indigenous, east and southeast asian influences, but something i rarely see discussed in the fandom is the influences the show takes from hinduism and south asia, and there are actually far more than i think people are aware of.

so here's a (non-exhaustive list) of the main inspirations atla drew from south asian culture and hinduism, starting with...

The Avatar

the title of the show itself is taken from the ancient language of sanskrit, often considered the sacred tongue of the hindu religion. in sanskrit, the word "avatar" means to "descend" or "alight".

the concept of the avatar is a very old one, referring to the physical incarnation of a powerful deity or spirit. the idea of the avatar is most often linked to the god Vishnu, one of three supreme hindu gods collectively called the trimurti, or trinity. the avatar is said to manifest upon earth primarily in times of great need, when balance must be maintained between the forces of good and evil.

atla borrows heavily from this idea in having aang be the incarnation of a divine spirit who returns to the world during a time of immense strife, and is tasked with defeating a great evil to bring balance back to the world. and though i don't know if it was an intentional reference, it's interesting to note that Krishna, the most famous incarnation of Vishnu was also reborn amidst a fierce storm and carried through a raging sea to a new home where he would be protected from the king who sought to kill him. sounds a little familiar, doesn't it?

Agni Kai and the Philosophy of Firebending

the word "agni" derives from the sanskrit name Agni, the god of fire, though it can also generally mean "fire".

the concepts of lightning bending and the sun being the source of firebending are likely also taken from the idea of Agni, since he's said to exist simultaneously in three different forms on three different dimensions: as fire on earth, as lightning in the atmosphere, and as the sun in the sky.

Agni is a significant aspect of many rituals, including marriage rites, death rites, and the festivals of holi and diwali. the concept of Agni is one of duality: life and death, rebirth and destruction. hindu rituals accept and celebrate both aspects, revolving around the idea that destruction is not separate from creation, but rather necessary to facilitate it. the cremation of the dead, for instance, is seen as purification, not destruction: burning away the physical form so the soul is unencumbered, set free to continue the reincarnation cycle.

this influence can be seen in the firebending masters episode, which discusses the idea of fire being vital to life. the sun warriors safeguarding the original fire and demanding that zuko and aang bring fire to the dragons as a sacrifice could also reference the ritual of Agnihotra - the ritual of keeping a fire at the home hearth and making offerings to it. the purpose of this ritual differs depending on which text you refer to, but it is generally believed to purify the person and atmosphere in which it is performed, similar to how zuko and aang must make offerings to ran and shaw and survive their fire before being deemed worthy and pure.

Agnihotra is said to serve as a symbolic reminder of the vitality and importance of fire as the driving force of life, a lesson that zuko and aang also internalize from their encounter with the dragons.

Bumi

bumi's name is taken from the sanskrit word "bhumi", which means "earth". it's also the name of the hindu goddess of the earth, bumi or bhudevi.

one of the things the original animation didn't do and which i really enjoyed about the live action was that they made bumi indian and added desi inspiration to omashu. it makes perfect sense for a king whose name is as hindu-inspired as they come.

NWT Royal Palace

chief arnook's palace in the northern water tribe takes inspiration from the gopurams of hindu temples, massive pyramidal structures that served as entrance towers to the temple.

gopurams were built tall enough to be seen for miles around, beacons to signal tired or weary travellers who wished for a place to rest that a temple was nearby. it's a nice touch that the chief's palace is located in front of the spirit oasis, a similarly symbolic entryway to a sanctuary housing otherworldly deities.

Betrothal Necklaces

to preface: i doubt this was an intentional reference, and this great post talks about other cultures that could have inspired the water tribe betrothal necklaces. given the desi influence in the nwt architecture however, i figured it was worth mentioning.

the idea of betrothal necklaces being given to women by their male partners is similar to the thaali, a necklace given to hindu wives by their husbands. during hindu weddings, grooms tie the thaali around their brides' necks to symbolize their marriage. once given, wives are expected to wear their thaali till the day they die, as doing so is believed to bring good luck, health and prosperity to their husbands.

Chi-Blocking

though chi-blocking takes primary inspiration from the art of Dim Mak, it is also influenced by the south indian martial arts forms of adimurai and kalaripayattu, both of which include techniques of striking vital points in the body to disable or kill an opponent.

kalaripayattu also shares parallels with firebending, being a very physically demanding, aggressive martial art that emphasises the importance of discipline and mental fortitude. control of the mind is essential to control of the body, a philosophy similar to that espoused by iroh across the show.

Wan Shi Tong's Library

the library draws inspiration partly from the taj mahal, the famous mausoleum constructed by shah jahan during the mughal empire as a monument to his beloved wife, mumtaz mahal.

i'll end this post here since it's getting too long as it is, and the following section will be even longer. for while atla treated the concepts in this post with respect, the same unfortunately cannot be said for its depiction of guru pathik and combustion man - both of which we'll be discussing next.

[verstarppen]

pairing; lando norris x fem! star wars actress! reader [ no faceclaim ]

a/n; ahhh sorry for the late update i was planning a birthday party in a hospital dw about it anyway thank you for supporting this so i can keep geeking out on random star wars lore to you AND HAPPY OSCAR PODIUM GIRLIES LET'S GOOOOOOO!!! [ series masterlist ]

liked by yn.jpg, daniel3.jpg, oscarpiastri and 295,565 others

lando.jpg here we go

view all 29,200 comments

yn.jpg this is my boyfriend lando and this is his boyfriend oscar

lando.jpg can you stop pimping me out yn.jpg when you post me on this account i will

oscarpiastri 🤙

yn.jpg HOMEWRECKER

vertiddieenjoyer finally some good fucking strategies

julyestie let's go papaya nation 🧡🧡

holidaykimi watch him get his first win because y/n's there to watch him

maria_carrey i hope you're a prophet 🙏

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 496,872 others

yndeathtrooper wait y'all this formula one shit's kinda cool

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landonorris oh you just HAD to sneak max in there

maxverstappen1 I'm the favorite child danielricciardo Excuse me? maxverstappen1 You've been excused

ahsokawife I started watching to support your boyfriend!!

yndeathtrooper thank you random person on the internet, i'll show your comment to him yndeathtrooper update: he giggled landonorris lies.

chisslover so no press tour this year?

super_max y/n red bull stan arc

yndeathtrooper i'm here for max don't lie to yourself landonorris YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE. IT WAS SAID THAT YOU WOULD DESTROY THE RED BULLS, NOT JOIN THEM. BRING BALANCE TO THE FORCE, NOT LEAVE IT IN DARKNESS... YOU WERE MY GIRLFRIEND, Y/N. I LOVED YOU. yndeathtrooper do not use my own spells against me, plebeian

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 400,001 others

yn.jpg god bless the supernova which exploded and coalesced into the atoms that formed my beautiful muppet

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landonorris i love supporting my obsessed fans

yn.jpg red bull garage kinda looking good right now landonorris i will do what i must. (you won't be able to walk there by the time i'm done with you) yn.jpg you will try

staraikkonen So are we just going to ignore their comments or 😭😭😭

applenorizz they're so embarrassing (i love them) lukestarkiller i choose to live in ignorance

danielricciardo Every day i wake up against my will

yn.jpg HE STARTED IT landonorris l + ratio + didn't ask + cope + you love me

christianhorner You're always welcome to the Red Bull garage

landonorris BABE GET BEHIND ME 🤺 BACK YOU KNAVE, BACK I SAID yn.jpg sorry mr horner, boytoy said no

pic credits: instagram and pinterest

taglist: @justdreamersdream @cha-hot @dl-yum @minkyungseokie @allywthsr @eugene-emt-roe @soleilgrec @raevyng @baw-sixteen @palomaxaxaxa @cassiopeiia24 @callsignwidow @sheridamn (taglist is open!)

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

love advice from the tarot

this a little cute casual P.A.C reading, aimed to see what's going on or what could be going on later on your love life.

pile 1. pile 2.

pile 3. pile 4.

images are from pinterest and dividers by @dollywons

꒰ঌ ✦ scroll down for the results ໒꒱ ༘*.ﾟ

-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ Masterpost and Tarot Menu ❁༺ ˎˊ-

plz consider rebloging this post if you enjoyed it <3 much love, gigi. <3

₊˚⊹ ʚɞ pile number 1 ♡︎ ˚⋅. ₊˚⊹♡.

Stability and order are going to come to your love life once you become more comfortable with your own emotions and those from others.  You’ll see romance in your life whenever you embrace the ways in which you manifest your desires, as right now you might not be comfortable with things like affection or emotional vulnerability. It’s key that you keep working on expanding your horizons and developing into the person you want to become, but as soon as you stop neglecting the complexity of your emotions, love will find you.

What I find the most impressing about this reading, is that although you might not entirely appreciate traditional notions of how love and relationships work, I see you as someone who somehow attracts the type of partners who demonstrate love in traditional ways not because they don’t know better or because they follow the heard, but because they think that’s the healthiest way to love you and to get to you. 

I think that you are too focused on yourself right now to think about a lover. But this is also making you quite attractive, even if you don’t have the time and energy to pay attention to romantic relationships.

₊˚⊹ ʚɞ pile number 2 ♡︎ ˚⋅. ₊˚⊹♡.

Ideas are becoming way too limiting towards your ability to experience and seek for honest manifestations of love. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself to conform to values that are not entirely yours, forcing yourself to over-think stuff that is not completely aligned with your true essence. Although there’s a vapid sense of logic and balance in the way you think about love itself and your love life, I get the feeling that this amount of introspection is not coming from a need to develop healthy ways of living your love life, it’s more of an anxious response to fears about the uncertainty of what’s next for you.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a desire for romantic connections, yet I do think that you need to be honest with yourself on what ideals and behaviours could be a product of unconscious self sabotage.

For you, it’s ideal that you develop realistic and strong boundaries that don’t come from the fear of being hurt or abandoned, instead those boundaries should be created from a place of understanding that you are valuable and in order to bring value to others you need to be respected and taken care of. You have much more control and power to find success than you realize, all you need is to assume the responsibility of your own personal power.

₊˚⊹ ʚɞ pile number 3 ♡︎ ˚⋅. ₊˚⊹♡.

There’s someone paying close attention to how you are dealing with conflict, they consider you to be sort of imprisoned by your own mind in this regard. As much as they’d like to give you advice, they are under the impression you are not willing to understand the harsh truths that they’d tell you out of true love. What I see here is that at the moment, no one is being able to communicate in a way that’s assertive, therefore, although many conflicts will be solved abruptly and most likely by verbal discussions and explicit agreements, this is not happening in a healthy way, even if the resolutions are useful to you.

I think there’s a possibility of you finding out someone unexpected and far from your usual social circles is keeping an eye on you, yet they haven’t found a way to connect with you. This person feels like a passionate emotional bond is necessary in order to bond romantically with you, they do find you superficially attractive but they want to deepen this attraction by getting to know you, they haven’t found the right time to do so.

It’s also relevant that at this time, plenty of people find you subtly intimidating. I see a sort of contained chaotic energy, which is not bad, but it’s also very hard for new people to come to you because at the moment, your energy feels sort of unstable. The people who come to you when you’re facing this transitional phases of personal and spiritual development, are the ones who stay for the long run or are meant to be taken as a necessary experience of learning.

₊˚⊹ ʚɞ pile number 4 ♡︎ ˚⋅. ₊˚⊹♡.

A romantic interest is coming into your life. This is a person who is hard working and you might admire them because of their passion and dedication to something that’s interesting to you. It seems to me that you wish you could embrace love in a more innocent and pure way, yet some emotional scars are keeping you in a kind of contradiction between scepticism and romanticised ideals.

In general, the advice for you would be to work on distinguishing between gut feelings and anxious thoughts.  I think you are capable of taking care of your emotions even when you’re under psychological stress, but this ability hasn’t been quite developed when the stress comes from feelings related to love. It’s important that you are wise about who gets access to your most vulnerable emotions, but it’s also necessary that you find ways to experience romance without it being something that gets you in situations where you keep associating love to various levels of emotional distress.

It’s also key that you don’t pressure yourself to be in control of these situations, if something doesn’t go the way you wanted to, or the way you think is the healthiest, be comprehensive with yourself and patient.  Relationships need a team work.

-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ Masterpost and Tarot Menu ❁༺ ˎˊ-

[twirlyleafs]

”Start of the season-drama” pt2

Max Verstappen x reader

TW: slight angst, raised voices

A/N: thank you sooo much for the support on part one!! doing a lil happy dance because of u xx

~~~~

Max had tried calling you over fifty times the past three days but you refused to answer. You didn’t know if it was because you were still upset with him or because you were just that ashamed, but you couldn’t find it in you to talk to him. You had hope that there was a reasonable explanation for the photos but no matter how hard you tried to come up with one they all ended with you heartbroken. You were terrified Max would confirm any of them.

You read his texts and listened to his voice messages, responding that you’d talk to him when he’d get back. When he threatened to take an early flight, missing the race, you told him he was being dramatic and then you wished him good luck. Max stopped trying to reach you after that.

You had called in sick to work Friday and Saturday, staying home to simultaneously write and watch the qualifying and the race. You weren’t surprised to see Max bring home another win, but you felt bad when you noticed his seemingly bad mood in the post-race interviews. You could just assume you were the reason for the constant frown on his face and the dark circles under his eyes.

Sunday afternoon rolled in and you were restless. The fact that Max would be arriving back home tomorrow was starting to freak you out and you forced yourself to keep busy at all times not to overthink everything more than you already were. Currently you were standing on your tiptoes on one of the bar chairs, dusting the top of the bookshelves that were lining one wall in the living room. It obviously hadn’t been done in years and didn’t necessarily need to be done now either, but it was something to do. You were so caught up in your work that you hadn’t noticed the sound of the front door being unlocked, the bags being dropped on the floor or someone entering the room. Max stopped on the other side of the room, brows furrowed as he took you in. You were wearing one of his shirts, by the look of it one of his oldest ones and he knew you would’ve had to dug deep in the drawers for that one. As you reached the top shelf it rode up enough for him to see that you were wearing a pair of his boxers too and for some reason he melted slightly at the fact that you were dressed all in his clothes.

“Be careful.” You flinched, a gasp leaving your lips as your head spun around to follow the sudden sound. Max eyes widened as you wobbled for a second before regaining your balance and he thanked god he didn’t cause you to fall.

“Max, you’re home already?” You were confused, trying to figure out if your calculations had been wrong. He nodded, having to stop himself from walking over to help you as you climbed down from the chair.

“I took an early flight, left right after the podium.” He paused for a second, feeling the anger he’d felt for the past few days bubbling up again. “Felt a bit stressed to get back here since my girlfriend has been refusing to talk to me.” You bit down on the inside of your cheeks, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

“Congrats on the win, you were-“ you began, but Max cut you off. He had told himself to keep calm, talk this through, but he felt the plan collapse almost immediately. He couldn’t deny the frustration.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t want a congratulation from you y/n, I want an explanation! I want to know what the fuck happened on Thursday?” His voice was sharp, arms crossed over his chest. You looked away.

“What happened was that I wanted to come see you, but you said no.” You shrugged, the frown on your face deepening.

“I didn’t say no, I said it was unnecessary- that’s not even the issue here. The thing I’m most upset- confused over is you said I had some girl?”

“I saw the pictures Max.” You glared at him, all the hurt and confusion and anger from the past few days coming back. “I saw you with her.“

Max looked even more bewildered than a second ago, flailing his arms out in exasperation. “Who?! What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about your fucking date to the banquet!” You exclaimed, raising your voice to match his. “The girl you snuck away with when you didn’t think anyone would see!” Max just stared at you with wide eyes, lips opening and parting in confusion. You, however, took his silence as a sign of guilt. “I get that you’d want a girl who’s willing to follow you everywhere, who’s willing to give up her own life to be your trophy but fuck, Max, I thought you’d at least give me a heads up.”

”I didn’t bring a fucking date to the banquet, where are you getting this from? What fucking photos?”

Without another word you reached for your phone, searching up the tweet that started this whole mess. Zooming in on the photo where he was cupping her cheeks you handed him the phone, crossing your arms over your chest the second he grabbed it from you. Max stared down at the screen, eyebrows going up before they were pushed together. Slowly he looked up at you again.

“Baby-“ he began with a sigh, the apologetic tone of his voice had you assuming he was about to confess to cheating on you. The anger was quickly replaced with hurt and a shockwave of sadness. Suddenly your vision was watery and you took a step back, wrapping your arms tighter around yourself. Max seemed to understand, quickly shaking his head.

“It’s not what you think, not what it looks like.”

“Oh come on-“ you sniffed, but Max wouldn’t have it.

“No, I get how that sounds but just let me explain. That’s Rebecca, you’ve met her. Tommy’s daughter.” You had to rummaged through your brain for a second before you could place the name. Rebecca was the daughter of one of Redbulls mechanics. You’d met her a few times during races, she was a sweet girl. Your eyes widened slightly.

“Isn’t she like seventeen?”

“Yeah!”

You stared at him, even more chocked than a moment before. Max saw the look on your face and quickly shook his head. A shiver ran up his spine at the realization of what you were thinking.

“God no! Not like that. She was at the banquet with Tommy but something happened, I think someone tried to pressure her into drinking and stuff- I met her when I came from the restroom and she was crying so I brought her out, away from everyone.” Max looked down at the photo again, frowning. “Away from the cameras, I thought. She was hyperventilating and I all could think about is when you’re having a panic attack so I did what I do then, I held her and I forced her to breathe with me.” When he looked back up you were already staring at him, lips slightly parted in chock. Max tossed your phone into the couch, taking a careful step closer to you. “That’s it. That’s all that happened. I did what you taught me.”

“God.” You let out a shaky breath, hiding your face behind your hands. Out of all the scenarios you’d constructed over the past few days, none even came close to this. Max hadn’t cheated, he hadn’t even been close to. He’d helped an innocent girl, doing for her what he always did for you when you suffered from anxiety. The guilt was slowly settling in your stomach. Max watched you softly shake your head before you carefully glanced at him between fingers. “Max I’m so sorry.” You saw him visibly relax when he realized you accepted his explanation and a second later he sunk down in the couch, seemingly exhausted. With a deep breath he leaned back, closing his eyes.

“Fuck.” He sighed, reaching up to rub his forehead. “I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out what I did and why you were so mad and not once did it occur to me that it might’ve been this.” Things were quiet after that. You crawled up on the barstool, pulling your knee to your chest, as Max stayed half laying down in the couch. Leaning your cheek against your knee you watch his chest rise and fall slower and slower. You almost thought he’d fallen asleep when he suddenly spoke again. “Did you think I cheated on you?”

“I don’t know.” You answered honestly, making Max open his eyes to look at you. You felt your heart clench at the sad look on his face. “I love you Max, and I know you love me but-“

“But?” He asked softly, moving to sit up properly. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and watched your through thick lashes. You took a deep breath.

“But sometimes I worry I’m not what you want. I know a lot of the others wife’s and girlfriends come to every race and you know, follow you guys around the world. I would understand if you’d want that too. You’re always talking about how I should quit my job and- well I saw the pictures and I guess all my insecurities came to life and I freaked out. I’m sorry.” You reached up to swiftly wipe away a stray tear and Max frowned. He reached a hand out, waving it as to call you over. You got the hint and slid down from the chair, carefully padding across the floor to him. The second you were within reach he pulled you down in his lap and you could practically feel yourself melt into him. God you’d missed having him close.

“You are everything I want.” Max mumbled against the top of your head and you felt shivers run up your spine. You opened your mouth to answer but quickly shut it again when you felt the lump in your throat, a few tears spilling over as you blinked. Max let his arms snake even tighter around you as he heard you sniff quietly against his chest. “I love how much you value your job and I’m so proud of you for actually being able to handle both studying and working at the same time.” You felt his fingers press softly into your side as he spoke, voice hushed and gentle. “I tell the guys all the time how smart you are, how much I admire you.”

“But I’m never there for you.” You whispered and Max carefully shifted the two of you enough so that he could look down at you. His eyes flickered between yours, hand moving up to wipe your tears.

“You’re always there for me. Maybe not in person, but I always know I have you. Like you always know you have me, right?” He waited for you to nod before he continued. “I can race on my own, just like you work on your own. Whats important to me is that I get to come home to you.” He carefully picked an eyelash from your cheek as you processed his words. When he met your eyes again he offered a small smile, tilting his head slightly. “That being said, if I could I’d spend every second literally glued to your side but apparently that’s not healthy.” You laughed at that and the smile on Maxs face widened. With something between a sigh and a chuckle you dropped your forehead back against his chest.

“I’m sorry again Maxie.” You mumbled against his shirt, feeling it vibrate as he hummed.

“Don’t worry about it schatje.” He pulled you with him to lay down in the couch and it barely took a second before the two of you were comfortably entangled in each other. “Honestly, it was kind of nice seeing you that jealous. It’s an achievement from my part, without even knowing.” He joked, earning another laugh from you as you lifted your head to look at him.

“First place the first two races of the season wasn’t enough achievements for you?”

The grin almost took up Maxs whole face and you giggled at the proud twinkle in his eyes. Before he had time to say something that would have you slap him, you leaned in to press your lips against his instead.

Max was home and everything was alright.

~~~~

Tagging ppl who asked for pt2 <333

@lpab @aexitizen-ln4 @buttfug213 @sxcretricciardo @hadthemapplebottomjeans @sunny44 @phantomxoxo @sunnyfunnydemon

[caerbannogmochi]

I'm pretty sure everyone remembers how Dante's clock has been moving over time. BUT, there is now an identifiable pattern to its movements, and its associated with the development of the sinners!

During Cantos 1-3, Dante's role in events is one of a passive observer. Gregor, Rodion, and Sinclair all made it through their cantos without much (if any) advice from Dante, the events of which mostly served to establish where they stood as characters/why they behave in the ways that they do.

Canto 4 was where this formula started to change. Yi Sang needed more out of Dante than the previous sinners; There was a Big Issue from his past that was controlling his future (namely, his entrapment in the past caused by the Hot Mess Involving T-Corp And The Mirror), forcing Dante to take on the role of Emotional Support Clockhead to guide him through the Canto. And at the end of the Canto, two things happened:

Vergilius commented on "the look on [Dante's] face"...

... and the clock moved for the first time.

The next 2 Cantos maintained this level of involvement from Dante: Ishmael needed Dante to help guide her away from her self-destructive obsession (I.E, to find "[her] compass [which] was swallowed by the sea" and choose to start "piercing through the rope that strangled [Captain Ahab] and [Ishmael]", freeing her to move toward the future), and Heathcliff needed Dante to help guide him through effectively communicating how much he loved Catherine/engaging in healthy relationship dynamics. (Seriously: the real antagonist of Canto 6 is communication issues.)

Effectively: Cantos 1, 2, and 3 had Dante doing the equivalent of talking with their respective Sinners as they drove their car down an empty street. Pretty casual, nothing major happened. Cantos 4, 5 and 6 required Dante to give directions, help them figure out where they got lost, convince them to pull over, calm down, and eat SOMETHING to get their blood sugar up before continuing toward their destination. More work, but these Sinners received greater rewards.

With Canto 7, the car was inside an IKEA.

Sinclair had to get the doors open. Faust had to find the car, awkwardly wedged in one of the shortcuts between display sections. Gregor, Rodion, Ishmael, Yi Sang, and Heathcliff had to pull Sancho out of the bunk bed in a completely different section of the store, with Ryoshu and Outis bringing their spoils from the marvelously-priced IKEA food court. Hong Lu had to help guide Sancho through getting the car out of the place it was awkwardly wedged, and Mersault held back the crowd. Dante's task wasn't just emotional support, but guidance. Sancho/Don Quixote needed someone to reassure her that there was a way forward, a something worth pursuing. And Dante did wonderfully.

So, is it a surprise that this canto is where the clock moved again?

Don Quixote (Who, as we learned in this canto, is a bloodfiend, like Vergilius) commented on Dante's expression.

And the clock moved.

BUT BETWEEN THESE TWO EVENTS, DANTE MADE THE CHOICE TO SMILE. "like Don Quixote asked me to".

THEREFORE, it is my conclusion that, between the commentary of lu-is-not-okay on Hong Lu's impending mental breakdown (SPECIFICALLY this post, which is the reason for my diatribe) AND the existence of this pattern of increasingly intensive Sinner rehabilitation efforts, Canto 8 will be the mental health equivalent of trying to get Hong Lu off of the car, which is precariously balanced upside down on a fountain, on the third floor of a shopping mall, while being chased by mall security (read: his family).

And it's going to be awesome.

[fastbrother]

Detention (E, 1k words)

Harry spends his eighth year recontextualising his relationship with Draco Malfoy.

Tags: Only One Broom, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Fluff and Smut, Praise Kink, Top!Harry Potter

Author's note: Drarry one-shot I wrote for @kk1smet's birthday. Thank you for creating such wonderful art for this fandom, and for letting me use it here! K's original art post can be found here, and you can see more of her art at the bottom of this post!

* * *

They’ve been fighting since—well, since forever. But also since noon. The sky is dark now, and Harry has run out of patience. He turns on his heel, leaving Malfoy to scream into the void.

“Just where do you think you’re going?” 

“I’m going back to the castle. We’ll come back tomorrow.”

“Out of the question. I’m not spending another day—”

Harry can’t think of many things crueller than the detention McGonagall came up with for them. Another day stuck in the forest with Malfoy and he might just crack. But he’s already cracked, hasn’t he? He’s cracked about a thousand times today. 

“Suit yourself. If you can find unicorn hair in the dark, then by all means, go and find it. I’m going back.” 

And with that, Harry mounts his broom.

“Don’t you dare leave me here alone.”

“Then hop on.”

There’s a break, a little silence.  

“Fine. We’ll go back. But I’m flying.”

“Whatever,” Harry says, too tired for another fight. He dismounts, and offers the broom to Malfoy. 

The sound of crushed leaves fills the air as Malfoy comes closer, then grabs the broom in one swift motion. 

They get on.

Why did Harry think it was a good idea to only bring one broom? He’s uncomfortable, seated much too low, and has nowhere to put his hands. He hates not being in control of it, too. Malfoy flies with too much grace, a sin he didn’t know existed until that very moment. 

Time passes slowly.

Harry’s just got used to the precarious balance when a Thestral whizzes by.

“Ah,” Harry says, against his will, and wraps his hands around Malfoy’s waist. At the same time—or was it earlier?!—Malfoy’s hand lands on Harry’s calf, making Harry swallow the sorry he was about to blurt out. 

Surely, Malfoy will say sorry himself. Or remove his hand. 

He doesn’t. 

So Harry doesn’t remove his hands either. 

They land, and Malfoy’s hand lingers for a second too long.

They’re silent on the way to the castle. It’s bizarre, because the two of them are never silent. They bicker in class, when they’re forced to sit together for “the optics.” They bicker in the corridors, when they bump into each other. They bickered all day today. And now they’re silent, too silent, and the ghost of Malfoy’s touch buns a hole through Harry’s jeans.

Their footsteps echo against the stone walls. And then they stop. They’ve reached the staircase where their paths diverge. Harry has to go up the stairs, while Malfoy carries on.

They look at each other, neither of them moving. Then, at the same time, they act. Malfoy clears his throat. Harry walks towards a broom closet. 

Malfoy follows him in. It’s dark, much too dark to see, but he hears Malfoy dropping to his knees. He lets out a sound when he feels Malfoy’s hands parting his robes. The sounds intensify when Malfoy takes his cock out, and puts his mouth on it. It’s all so unexpected, so wonderfully wet and generous, Harry feels around until he touches Malfoy’s head. He’s really there. 

Fucking Draco Malfoy. Is on his knees. Sucking him off. 

Harry finishes in his mouth, and only afterwards realises he’s been panting. 

* * *

Harry corners Malfoy after Charms. Since last night, he’s had time to think. Truly, he’s had so much time to consider everything that’s ever happened between them, all the nuances of their relationship, all the ways in which they came together. And with all that knowledge safely stored in his brain, Harry locks the door.

Malfoy sinks to his knees. The light spills through the arched windows, and Harry can look into his eyes as he takes Harry in. 

“Jesus Christ,” Harry says, watching Malfoy’s lips strain against his cock. “I want to fuck you.”

Malfoy is a good little boy, because he releases his cock, stands up and bends over Flitwick’s desk. Harry lifts up his robe. 

“You’ve finally shut up,” Harry says, inserting one finger into Malfoy’s hole, pulling a moan out of him. “I love that.”

Harry doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but figures out enough. When he’s close, he pushes Malfoy back on his knees and comes all over his face.

Malfoy licks it off his lips. He’s finished in his pants.

* * *

Harry fucks Malfoy everywhere he can. He fucks him in deserted classrooms. In broom closets. The prefects’ bathroom. He fucks him so much and so often, they’ve both fallen behind on schoolwork. When they get detention for it, Harry fucks Malfoy on the forest bed. 

* * *

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Harry says, looking down at Malfoy. It’s the Christmas hols, and all of Malfoy’s roommates are away. It’s the first time they fuck in a bed.

“You’re beautiful,” Malfoy says, and drags Harry into a kiss. 

* * *

“You’re insatiable,” Draco says when Harry falls into step with him after breakfast. “We have Potions in five minutes.”

“Five minutes is plenty of time.”

Draco rolls his eyes, but lets Harry drag him into a broom closet. 

They waste most of the five minutes kissing, and then another five undressing. By the time Harry comes all over Draco’s chest, the bell ringing is a distant memory. 

“If we get detention again, I’ll kill you,” Draco says while he picks up his robes from the floor. 

“Don’t worry,” Harry says, cleaning them off both. “You go first.”

Harry waits two minutes before going into the classroom. 

“Professor, sorry I’m—”

His gaze falls on Draco, sporting a red tie and looking at Harry in horror. Just like everybody else.

Harry looks down at his own green tie. 

“—late,” he concludes, amidst rising bouts of laughter.

“Shh,” Slughorn says, trying and failing at suppressing a grin. “Ah, nothing like young love, is there? But also, detention to the two lovebirds.”

Harry shrugs at the Gryffindors’ shocked faces, then sits down next to Draco. 

“Sorry,” he whispers, a hand on Draco’s knee under the table.

“I’ll never forgive you,” Draco says solemnly. 

That night, they fuck—and sleep—in Harry’s bed.

Super adorable chibi art of them fondling each other on the broom © @kk1smet! 💖

[dystopicjumpsuit]

I kriffing love in-universe curses.

I've been thinking about it since I saw this poll (you should go vote & reblog!), but I didn't want to wax philosophical on somebody else's post and derail the conversation.

From "I'll see you in hell" to "Dank farrik," Star Wars has a long and rich history of swearing, sometimes using real-world curses and sometimes the made-up ones. If you're familiar with my fics, you'll know that I make liberal use of both, and there are a few reasons why.

First of all, I do think that real-world curses pack more of a punch, so I tend to reserve them for lines that I want to have more of an impact. But also, I think a good balance helps keep my fics from veering into farcical territory, unless the farce is the point.

That said? Star Wars swears are just kriffing fun. They can bring levity to a scene that might be in danger of collapsing under its own karking weight. And, fierfek, they give me more options! After all, how many times can I use the word fuck in a single paragraph? A lot, the answer is a lot.

That being said, not everyone is as voracious a cursing enthusiast as I am, and in-universe swears allow writers who are uncomfortable using real-world curses to have the same emotional impact without needing to use language that makes them personally uncomfortable.

But most importantly, in-universe swearing is a fantastic world-building tool that's easy to integrate and lets readers know right away:

Hey. We're in a galaxy far, far away.

Like using "conservator" instead of "refrigerator," or "cyar'ika" instead of "darling," or "protatoes" instead of "potatoes" (in defiance of both my spell-checker and the wisdom of Samwise Gamgee), in-universe curses like kriff, kark, karabast, fierfek, dank farrik, stars! Holy Force! and the Boba-sanctioned scughole can serve as an easy and entertaining shorthand that helps a fic be more immersive and true to the universe.

So I don't know about you, but I'm going to pour a glass of spotchka and raise a toast to the beloved and time-honored convention of kriffing up my fics.

Dank farrik! Let's have a taglist, because why not?

@secondaryrealm @sev-on-kamino @523rdrebel @wings-and-beskar @merkitty49

@anxiouspineapple99 @sinfulsalutations @arcsimper5 @starrylothcat @clio3kantarella

@cloneloverrrrr @goblininawig @ladytano420 @arctrooper69 @sunshinesdaydream

@littlemissmanga @stunkbiggu @starqueensthings @marierg @idontgetanysleep

@moonlightwarriorqueen @dudewhynotthis @sleepycreativewriter @tcwmatchmakingau @littlemissbshine

@multi-fan-dom-madness @heavenseed76 @wizardofrozz @bobaprint @sweetcream-coldfoam

@skellymom @pickleprickle @trixie2023 @mythical-illustrator @dickarchivist

@cw80831 @kimiheartblade @flyiingsly @lightwise @swcowgal

@reader6898 @cdblake1565 @epicy0n @starstofillmydream @msmeredithrose

@totallyunidentified @eclec-tech @euphoriacafe @hipwell @yve-barr

@dangraccoon @transactivecybermemory @etod @ivyyyyy @somewhere-on-kamino

@burningnerdchild @saneabandoned @heidnspeak @maniacalbooper

[boneblushed]

Glitch

synopsis Rafe has a bad fall on the ski slopes. A temporary amnesiac, he falls in love with you all over again.

a/n oh Euro Trip Rafe I have missed you so bad 🥹

The velcro of your left glove snags, the worn edge catching on the handle of your ski pole. You sigh. The gauntlet cuff on the right side isn’t looking much better, all scruffy and threadbare so the underlying skin’s exposed.

“Hold on,” you call out, skidding to a reluctant stop.

It’s high time you replaced them with a newer pair, especially considering you’ve been using the same gear your parents bought you post middle-school growth spurt. But you don’t come to Aspen nearly enough to justify doing so at the moment; not that money’s a particular issue, it’s more so the inconvenience an unnecessary shopping trip will bring you.

“Dude. Again?”

You abandon the broken strap to send Topper a helpless frown. He’s a little way ahead, partially obscured by the crowd, but the exasperation on his face is made evident by his tone.

He draws nearer and glances down at the shaggy velcro, shaking his head disapprovingly. “We’ve gotta buy you a new pair.”

Above him, the sky is a gauzy blue, juxtaposing the sugary white hue of fresh snow.

“Not worth it Top,” you argue. The strap hitches again, an objection. “They’ll barely get used.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he answers, turning again. “Come on. I’m going to buy you a new pair.”

He’ll buy you a new one, your heart sings. And then it stops. You know better than to read into this gesture — he isn’t being chivalrous on purpose; when is he ever? This is the fourth time you’ve had to stop to untangle or readjust, and you’re pretty sure he’s just getting sick of you holding him up. Logic prevails, but your traitorous cheeks warm anyway, demure about the offer.

“It’s fine,” you insist. The velcro barely sticks when you refasten it. Fine enough. “Let’s keep going.”

You continue to push through the horde ahead of you, making your slow way toward the chairlifts. As you near, the ant-like skiers and snowboarders on the mountain become clearer, and you pull down your goggles, blinded by the sun’s glare.

That’s when the accident happens.

All of a sudden, but crashing in dusky orange slow-motion. Some guy hits a rocky bit of the slopes, losing control of his snowboard and nosediving into the snow. It’s a gnarly looking collision, made worse by his concerning lack of helmet, and you share a worried look with Topper before making your way toward him.

“Dude, fucking move—hey, sorry, best friend coming through—”

You startle, halting abruptly. You’d recognise that voice anywhere.

“—sorry, ‘scuse me gorgeous, I’m just gonna squeeze past you real quick—”

“Noah!”

In the split second that follows, you endure several emotions at once. The first: concern heightened ten-fold. Because if Noah’s referring to himself as the best friend, the some guy in question is actually Rafe Cameron.

The same Rafe Cameron that you love to hate, almost as much as your poor heart avows it.

The second: a concerning ache. Right at the centre of your chest, within your ribcage, as if the tired ligaments that hold it together are as weak as your velcro straps. The feeling swells, and you feel your heart squeeze through the cracks.

And then there’s apprehension, some excitement, a sudden bashfulness that makes your cheeks burn.

All round pathetic. You force a smile that’s more a grimace, hoping that Noah doesn’t notice your disquiet.

He pauses en-route, a surprised expression on his face. “Y/N!” He exclaims, breathless. The surprise melts into a mixture of delight and amusement. “Tell me you witnessed him bailing just then.”

You sigh. “Unfortunately.”

“Good,” he replies soberly, linking his arms in yours and tugging you forward. Your ski poles cross in protest, your centre of balance askew. “You’re coming with me.”

“What?” You ask, evidently bewildered. “Noah…”

You twist around and find Topper in the crowd, who shrugs, equally perplexed. Help me, you mouth, though you’re moving ahead too fast for the poor boy to discern it.

“…uh,” you try again, turning back to the face him, “I don’t know if this is —”

“Y/N,” he interrupts matter-of-factly, zig-zagging through the crowd with ease. “If there’s one person that can talk some sense into him, it’s you. I mean, shit, did you see how fast he was going? He’s going to board himself into a fucking coma if he keeps doing stupid shit like that.”

This brings a pause. It’s sort of endearing, really, how fiercely he cares about Rafe.

Your gaze softens a smidge. “You’re a good friend, Noah,” you say. “He’s pretty lucky to have you.”

“Us,” Noah corrects.

Your pulse jolts. “He doesn’t have me,” you reply, frowning a little.

“Everyone else may believe that Y/N, but I don’t.”

And again, a terrifying emotion bounding forth in your chest. “I —”

You’re saved the trouble of sputtering through an excuse by Rafe’s languid groan, a thready-sounding, “Shit.”

The crowd parts at Noah’s command, and the pair of you squeeze through, now face to face with Rafe.

He’s splayed out on the snow with his limbs in disarray, only one of his boots still strapped onto his board. His cheeks are a chilly rouge, dirty-blonde hair sticking out at odd angles. You resist the sudden urge to reach forward and comb your fingers through it.

“Idiot,” Noah mutters, crouching down beside him. “Absolute fucking idiot.”

He unfastens the aforementioned boot and tosses his board to the side, the nose-end looking notably abraded.

“Huh?” Rafe mumbles, a little dazed. He gropes at his purple-hued goggles blindly, pulling them off to squint up at Noah. It takes a worrying number of seconds for recognition to dawn on his features, and when it does, finally, Noah turns around and beckons you forward.

You hesitate, your gaze flitting down to Rafe’s face. “Someone should call Ward.”

“No!” Rafe yells suddenly, attempting to push himself up before collapsing backward languidly. He clutches his left side and groans, his eyebrows pinching in pain.

His discomfort makes you wince. You spring into action without meaning to, that concerning ache in your chest pulling you forth until you’re crouching down beside him like Noah.

“No Ward,” you murmur, placing your hand on his shoulder. “Noted.”

Up close, you can see a cut on his bottom lip, the rough stubble on his jaw all dewy from the melted snow. Your brow furrows. As he tears his gaze away from Noah to face you instead, you brush back his dirty-blonde fringe, searching for any more injuries. He has a graze on his upper forehead and you thumb over it gently, the furrow in your brow deepening with concern.

You glance up at Noah and nod. “Absolute fucking idiot.”

Rafe tries to do the same, but a sharp ache sears through his head when he attempts to turn it again.

“Stop moving it,” you instruct sternly, exerting more pressure on his forehead to hold it in place. “Noah isn’t going anywhere.”

“Have to,” he groans, his voice all gravelly and rough, “make sure he’s still here.”

He’s almost certain that Noah won’t be, that he’ll turn to him and find that the two of you are the only people sitting on the slopes. He imagines it like that scene at the end of Deathly Hallows, everything in blinding white and playing inside of his head.

You know, because he’s almost definitely dreaming if you’re crouching down beside him right now. With a soft hand on his shoulder, another pressed over his forehead. Two points of contact, he marvels, dazed. He squints up at you again, his reverent gaze falling over you in paces, and it feels as though a fog is descending on his surroundings. Everything blurs. He blinks abruptly.

“Dude,” Noah chastises, leaning over Rafe’s torso so that he’s within his line of sight, “where the fuck would I go?”

Rafe’s eyes widen, and he looks between you and Noah, evidently bewildered. “Bro,” he groans after a pause, his head falling back defeatedly. “I’m fucked.”

Your heart lurches worriedly, and you frown, looking over his figure for more injuries. “R’you in any pain?”

“Not physical,” he mumbles, lifting his head tentatively to squint at you. He drops it again and groans, overwhelmed by your closeness. “You’re really fucking beautiful, by the way. It’s messing with my head.”

You roll your eyes, feeling a tell-tale warm creeping up your neck. “Alright, you guys can go,” you say, turning to address the crowd. “He’s totally fine.”

Noah grins down at him, looking equally parts proud and exasperated. “There he is.”

Rafe isn’t sure what that means. All he knows is that he doesn’t feel fine, his head’s all jumbled and there’s a dreadful ache in every one of his limbs. The sound of blood pounding through his ears is unrelenting, and the chill in the air is downright abrasive. Not to mention, there’s this angel reincarnate that’s leaning over him at present, a concerned expression on her face that’s somehow making her look prettier.

Two points of contact, Rafe thinks again, agonised. Your softened features come to him in slow motion, the light reflected in your wide eyes, the shine of gloss on your frowning lips. You look extremely familiar, but he’s having difficulty recalling your name. There’s this overwhelming pull in chest that tells him you’re a big deal to him—his girlfriend, he hopes, aghast and probably deluded. That’s the concussion talking.

Besides, he isn’t even entirely sure that you’re actually real, all things considered.

“We should probably get him checked out, huh?” You ask Noah.

Noah knits his brow thoughtfully, peering down at Rafe. “You good, Cameron?”

“I feel fucking hungover,” Rafe mutters, pushing himself into a sitting position. Your hand falters as he hangs his head forward, and he reaches up, pressing it back into his skin. The rough pressure makes your breath hitch, less languid and more sure than he’s been since he bailed.

“You’re concussed,” you correct meekly, frowning down at him.

Rafe tries to shake his head, wincing as another bolt of pain shoots through it in dissent. “No,” he says, quick to fix his features. He grins dazedly. “I’m Rafe Cameron. And you’re… well, I hope you’re my girlfriend or something, because otherwise this heart attack in my chest’d be pretty concerning.”

You breathe out a scoff, mildly exasperated. A little relieved. If he’s well enough to remember to be an incessant flirt, he’s well enough for the concussion to not have caused any permanent damage.

“Alright, nevermind, no medical attention necessary,” you mutter, sending him a glare. It’s hard to hide the fact that your palms are clammy when you pull them away.

Noah loops his bicep under Rafe’s and pulls him to his feet, steadying him in place. The throbbing in his forehead intensifies, and he groans, staggering forward and doubling over.

“I don’t know, Y/N,” Noah replies then, frowning. “Maybe I’ll give my mom a call, just to be safe.”

“Your mom?”

“Dr White,” Rafe supplies, forcing himself to straighten. He tries to control his breathing, ignore the way his surroundings seem to be spinning.

Everything except you. His focus acquiesces. He must look pale or something because your gaze is apprehensive, this pretty furrow in your brow that he wants to smooth his thumb over. God, he must look pathetic right now, weak and mildly concussed, the aforementioned bail notwithstanding.

So he lies, adding, “Don’t worry about it White, I’m good,” mostly for your benefit—so you don’t think he’s some fucking chump who can’t handle a bit of a tumble.

He wants to impress you, bad. He plasters on another grin, going for roguish and landing on dense. “Would be better if you let me take you out later.”

“No way you’re asking me out right now,” you reproach, sending him a glare. “You almost just died five minutes ago, and that’s the first thing on your priority list?”

“You are, yeah,” he agrees, still grinning. He tries to walk toward you, staggering a little. “Seriously though, this has gotta be fate — bailing real fucking hard and finding a beautiful stranger along the way.”

You blink. “Beautiful stranger?”

“Heavy on the beautiful,” Rafe agrees, lumbering forward clumsily.

“Stranger?” You repeat, and then you falter, glancing down at his feet. “Rafael —”

He loses balance far too quickly for you to intervene, and he falls against you heavily, causing you to topple into the snow. Biting cold on your back, delightful warmth on your chest. His instincts must be somewhat intact, because he manages to hold his weight up despite being right on top of you.

Like, right on top of you. A terrifying emotion sears through your chest. The smatter of freckles on his nose are almost faded, his cheeks a brilliant rouge, snow-burned lips parted slightly. His overgrown locks brush against your forehead, just.

“Sorry,” he breathes out, and then he pauses, his gaze flitting to your lips. In the beat that passes, he agonises over the soft planes of your face, how pretty your eyes are up close. His heart’s just about pounding through his skin. How kissable your lips look, your cheeks, your neck, how right your figure feels pressed into his. His palms feel clammy; that hasn’t happened in a long while. He thinks, oh shit. And then, I’m absolutely fucking fucked.

You swallow, watching his pupils dilate. “Cameron. I need you to focus for a second.”

“Listen,” he murmurs, ignoring you, “D’you believe in love at first sight?”

“Rafael —”

“Because I know we’ve only just met,” he continues, drawing closer still, his heady gaze deepening, “and that — shit, I don’t even know your name, but I’m pretty sure that if I don’t kiss you right now I’m going to go fucking insane. That’s crazy, huh? I think you make me crazy. Have I mentioned that you’re really fucking beautiful yet? It’s messing with my head. Wait — I think I might’ve said that already —”

“Rafe Cameron,” you interrupt again, your eyes widening slightly. “If this is some stupid prank —”

“Prank?” He echoes, frowning slightly. He leans forward a little, brushing his nose against yours. Your pulse jolts. “You’re a prank.” He groans then, dropping his head to your shoulder. Your closeness may quell the pounding a smidge, but not completely. “You’re not real are you? I’m dreaming all of this?”

Your lock eyes with Noah over his head, sending him a worried look.

“Rafael,” you try again, pushing him off you and sitting up carefully. “This isn’t funny. I’m so beyond serious.”

Rafe, still splayed out on the snow, angles toward you with a furrow in his brow. “I’m confused.”

“Noah,” you say then, your voice louder, a little panicked. “I think you will need to call your mom after all.”

Noah frowns, crouching down beside the pair of you. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong,” Rafe answers, groaning in pain as he sits up. “Is that I’ve made a fool out of myself in front of this gorgeous stranger.”

“Ask her,” you continue, your heart feeling a little odd, “how long post-concussion memory loss takes to wear off.”

Noah eyes widen, searching Rafe’s face for any signs of mirth. “No way,” he says. “He’s gotta be fucking with us.”

“There’s an us?” Rafe echoes, raising his eyebrows at Noah. “Dude. Did you know your girlfriend’s a fucking smokeshow?”

“If this is some new pick up line you’re trying,” he replies, eyeing him warily. “It sucks ass Cameron.”

“Oooh, territorial,” Rafe answers, grinning dopily. He props himself up further, leaning closer to you and lowering his voice to a stage whisper. “You’re totally out of his league, by the way. Pretty sure you’re like, out of the Earth’s league.” He frowns. “That doesn’t make sense,” then groans, “fuck. Having a concussion is like drinking on an empty stomach.”

The pillow of his bicep presses into yours, full well engulfing it. You turn to face him, chewing on your bottom lip worriedly. If this was his idea of a prank, you want to believe that he wouldn’t let it go on this long. Especially not when you and Noah look so concerned, the latter retrieving his phone to give his mother a call.

“Hey mom,” he says, sandwiching his phone between his shoulder and ear and getting to his feet. You do so too. Rafe staggers to a standing position far more clumsily. “Yeah — no — the snow’s been sick, but I’m calling because something’s happened with Rafe. No, no, nothing too serious, he’s just a little concussed and may have some temporary amnesia. I was wondering if…”

“Maybe we can go on a double date,” Rafe tries again, grinning hopefully. There’s a bit of snow that’s melted on your bottom lip from the fall, and he aches to thumb over it, tuck his fingers under your jaw. “You, Noah, me.”

“No, no, he remembers me,” Noah continues, sending you a significant look. “But he doesn’t remember — yeah, it’s pretty selective — uh, maybe a few meters? Uh… no, what the hell’s a trigger? I’ll…”

“What d’you reckon?” Rafe prompts.

Noah turns away and you move your gaze to Rafe, half amused, half exasperated. “You, me, and Noah? Who’re you going to bring?”

“You,” he replies, like it’s obvious.

“And Noah?”

“Me.”

You breathe out an exasperated laugh, shaking your head. Rafe thinks it’s the prettiest sound he’s ever heard. His already muddled brain short-circuits for the billionth time.

“…half an hour?” You hear Noah affirm, the frown on his features audible. “Yeah — no — it’s been just over that — a trigger like what, though? What d’you mean you don’t know him as well as I do, he’s been coming to our house since he was like six years old…”

You don’t realise your brow’s furrowing until your feel Rafe’s rough thumb brush over it. You startle, feeling your skin warm as you look up at him.

“I’m lucky,” he murmurs, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.

You swallow. “Why?”

“You’re worried about me.” His hand drops to your jaw, thumb swiping over your cheek. You swallow instinctively. “And you’re way too beautiful to be worrying about someone like me.”

“You’ve lost your memory,” you answer weakly. “Anyone’d be worried.”

“I find that hard to believe.” He draws closer.

“Which part, exactly?”

“That people would worry,” he answers quietly, his voice gruff. Closer still. “That I’d forget about someone like you so easy.”

“But you have,” you prompt.

“Then remind me, sweetheart.”

“Not your sweetheart, Rafael,” you murmur, trying for a frown.

“Not my — wait.”

The thumb that’s swiping over your cheek freezes suddenly. “Wait,” he repeats, blinking several times. He scrunches his eyes shut, retrieving his hand to clutch it against his forehead. “Wait — fuck.”

You lean forward instinctively, tugging his arm away to look over his features, his concerning graze. “What? What’s wrong?”

“I knew…” he answers, shaking his head and groaning, “…but…shit, it’s so fucking obvious now —”

You furrow your brow in confusion, locking eyes with an equally bewildered Noah.

He holds his phone away from his ear, walking over and surveying Rafe’s features. “You good, brother?”

“Fine, shit,” Rafe curses again, scrubbing his hand over his face before meeting your gaze, chagrined. He grins hopefully. “That might’ve been quicker with true love’s kiss, though.”

You aren’t about to believe that he’s back without concrete evidence. “And my name is…?”

“Mrs Cameron,” he replies seriously.

You let out a scoff, more relief than indignation, catching the twinkle of mirth in his eyes. “Don’t ever do that again, you hear me?”

“Maybe,” he answers, raising his eyebrows, “if you let me take you out I’ll be too busy to bail.”

You roll your eyes. “Nice try.”

“But I’m maimed, sweetheart,” he adds, brushing back his dirty-blonde locks to show off the forehead graze. He pouts for good measure. “C’mon. Not even a pity date?”

You shake your head exasperatedly, catching Noah’s eye over his shoulder. “You’ll take it from here?”

“What? You aren’t gonna hang out with us?” Noah asks, pressing the phone against his chest. “I thought you were my girlfriend, Y/N.”

“Off limits, bro,” Rafe says matter-of-factly.

You’re about to protest when he draws closer and ducks his head, his warm breath on your earlobe cutting you off. “I won’t ever do that again,” he murmurs, the smile on his face audible, “I promise.”

“Good,” you answer, frowning sternly.

“Oh, and Y/N?”

You turn toward him, startling at his closeness. “Hm?”

He grins wider, brushing his nose against your fleetingly. “Missed remembering you bad, dream girl.”

[l0vergrlll]

: ̗̀ 𝐓𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

Inspo: Thursday - The Weeknd

Summary: Y/N has obvious feelings for Matt, who is cold-hearted with only one goal in mind. The two agree to see each other on Thursdays, the one day of the week which Matt reserves for her.

Warnings: toxic!Matt, no established relationship, smut, angst, smoking, mentions of drug and alcohol consumption, p in v, unprotected sex, use of y/n

Note: This ones for all my XO's out there. ya'll i know its been ages since i last posted LMAOO but hey life happens. Enjoyyyy!

I love her today…

Because it was their designated day for each other. The day Matt had committed solely to “loving” Y/N. 

Any other day, she was nothing to him. A cold-hearted truth she forced herself to endure. Anything to be able to see him, even if just one day of the week.

Her desperate words from that evening lingered within his dazed mind. 

~

“When can I see you again, Matt?” She cried, her delicately coated crimson nails clung to his shirt. He gazed stone-faced down into her glossy eyes, her face contorted with drunken sorrow. His brows furrowed as he took in her state; her shaky breaths and her flushed tear streaked cheeks. The way she practically transferred all her balance onto him, her torso flush against him. He stood, fully-cloathed as this naked woman he had just fucked pathetically clung to him, refusing to let him walk out without an answer. 

“I’ll be here every Thursday,” His voice was as low as a whisper, gruff and stern as his face remained emotionless. Her eyes glistened with hope. He internally mused at the way these words satisfied her. He thought her desperation to be incredibly naive. 

“Only Thursday. No other day. Be ready, I’ll be here next week,” And with that being said, he left no room for further conversation. Matt maneuvered away from her grasp, causing her to stumble. His tall figure stocked down the hall towards the front door, not once looking back. She watched his silhouette disappear into the shadows, leaving her to bring her arms around herself in a hug. Her heart fluttered in anticipation for their next acquaintance. For next Thursday.

“I’ll be ready,” She whispered to herself, as a singular tear slid down her cheek, her cherry red lips curving upwards into a smile. 

He was hers on Thursday.

What she refused to accept was the fact that every other day was reserved for another woman.

~

Matt exhaled a cloud of smoke as he let that night replay in his head. The night which led him to be present on her doorstep once again. It was Thursday. He let the cigarette fall to his feet, letting him crush it as he stood facing the door. 

Despite appearing outwardly dispassionate towards Y/N, he knew deep down that he too had been anticipating this night. For he couldn’t forget the way she melted in his presence the week before. The way she begged for his touch, for his love. Matt had been with a lot of women. Yet none possessed the same tireless desire Y/N showed for him. She didn’t care how it looked, she just wanted to make it clear just how much she needed him. 

To Matt’s annoyance, she had a way of infiltrating his stone cold heart with her affection. 

With that, he knocked three times on her door. Another thing he was sure of in this ambiguous relationship with Y/N was the fact that their sex was unbelievably good. Thus, he wasted no more time delaying the night. 

The door clicked open, and Matt looked down to meet Y/N’s awaiting gaze. She had on an emerald green satin robe which draped intricately along the curvature of her small figure. It was clear to Matt that she had nothing else underneath. 

Y/N’s mouth was agape as she stared longingly into his penetrative blue eyes. His towering presence caused her to stand staring at a loss for words, any inhibitions she may have had dissolving in the moment. 

“Happy Thursday,” Matt broke the silence, remaining nonchalant as he entered her home while shutting the door behind him. Without uttering a word Y/N jumped into his arms, locking her lips with his in a heated kiss. 

Matt reciprocated the passionate kiss as he moved his lips along hers. He let his hands instinctively wrap around her waist as he brought her body to his, deepening the two of them in the kiss. Y/N grabbed hold of his hair, intertwining her fingers with his dark locks. Matt brought one of his hands up to her jaw, gripping it in an effort to bring her face impossibly close. The kiss was loud and sloppy, their exasperated moans ringing through the air. No further words were exchanged as the two stumbled towards her bedroom.

The night commenced into a dreamlike event of passion and lust. 

Matt pulled his shirt over his head with one hand, revealing his bare torso. Tattoos decorated his tanned skin, traveling up his left arm. His silver necklace dangled as he hovered above her body, the metal catching the light which illuminated from the dimmed bedside lamp. 

Y/N sat up slightly so that he could remove the robe from her body. He let his fingers hook beneath the rich green fabric, sliding it down her body. Her exposed breasts perked up, and Matt gazed ravenously at her body. Once she was fully naked beneath him, he tossed the robe aside.

Y/N sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth as she admired Matt’s movements. The way he unbuckled his belt, sliding his jeans and boxers down simultaneously. 

His cock protruded free from the fabric, the tip making contact with his abdomen as the slit oozed with precum. Y/N’s core leaked with desire for him. She rubbed her thighs together as she ached for his love. 

Matt descended back down, crashing his swollen lips against hers. He grinded his bare body against hers as they tilted their heads in a deep makeout. His rock solid dick twitched as it rubbed against her. Y/N brought her legs up and around his waist, tightening them around him as she brought him closer. Her arms hugged his neck, and she moaned into his mouth as the longing for him painfully intensified. 

Matt parted from the kiss, bringing his head up as his dark eyes penetrated into hers once again, dark with lust. 

“Say the words, Y/N. And I’m all yours for the night,” He spoke in a raspy tone, panting from the kiss. 

“I need you Matt,” Her voice was high pitched in desperation. “Please… I need you inside me. I need you to fuck me”

That’s all he needed, and he was palming his throbbing cock, aligning it with her swollen entrance. Matt glided his cock along her slit, coating it in her lubricating juices. 

Without wasting another second, he was pushing his cock inside her, slowly entering deeper inside as he maintained eye contact with her. Matt watched Y/N gasp at his overwhelming size, her face twisting in pleasure. She bit her lip as he began to rock his hips, thrusting at a slow pace to allow her to adjust. 

Matt grunted as he watched Y/N’s eyes roll back, pornographic moans escaping her pretty lips. With this, he increased the speed of his thrusts, pounding against her core mercilessly. Y/N yelped in pleasure, bringing her hands to his hair once again in search of something to grip onto. This brought Matt’s forehead down to hers, and they remained this way as he fucked her at an unforgiving pace. His hands clawed at her waist, his pelvis crashing against her core again and again. 

Matt brought one hand up to her throat, gripping it hard enough to have her choke out her moans. Tears threatened to escape Y/N’s eyes as she whimpered and cried, the pleasure escalating to unbearable amounts. She felt her walls tighten around his cock, his length rutting against her g-spot repeatedly. Y/n’s mind was clouded in pure ecstasy. 

A moan escaped Matt’s mouth as his cock spasmed inside her, threatening to release. He glared down at Y/N, her expression dazed and euphoric. 

“No one’s ever fucked you this good, huh?” He spat, his voice wavering as he began to reach his high. He chuckled at her struggle to respond.

“You’re mine, Y/N. Tell me only I can make you feel this good,” He brought his mouth down to her ear as he spoke, kissing her earlobe and panting against her skin as he continued fucking her. He began sucking the skin underneath her ear, prompting her whimpering to intensify.

“You… y-” She stuttered, a loud moan intercepting her sentence as the pleasure grew impossibly unbearable. She was about to cum, he could tell. And so was he.

“Do you fuck all your other girls as good as this, Matt?” She choked out, louder than she intended.

Suddenly, Matt’s movements halted. His hips remained still, and his cock slid out of Y/N’s pussy, not allowing either of them to reach their release. He hovered over her body for a moment, his chest rapidly rising and falling as he struggled to gain his breath. His jaw clenched as he let her words register.

Finally, he pushed up off of her with his arms, his muscles contracting as he held himself up staring down at her once again with his piercing blue eyes. Y/N’s heart pounded, both from the heat of the sex and from the sudden anxiety which washed over her from his profound gaze. She’d never seen him like this before, breathing rapidly and jaw clenched with sudden rage.

“What’s wrong?” She was finally able to utter, her voice small and unconfident. “I don’t know why you’re acting shocked, it’s the truth isn’t it? You do fuck other girls-” She flinched as he instantly moved out of his still state, fully crawling off her body and moving to a sitting position at the edge of the bed. 

“You just killed the mood,” He finally spoke in a chillingly grim tone. He stayed seated, refusing to look back and face Y/N who still lay shaking slightly on the bed. She hugged herself again, it became an instinct which often occurred when Matt was around. 

She watched Matt dig out a flattened pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his jeans which lay disregarded on the floor. He plucked a cigarette from it along with his lighter, placing it in his mouth and sighing as he lit it. 

Y/N felt tears roll down her flushed cheeks, her breathing increasing as a sudden ripple of anger overcame her. She sat up, holding back the sobs which threatened to escape her throat.

“Did I lie, Matt? Can you imagine how I feel? Getting you one day of the week while you see some other girl every other day? What the fuck is this?!” She cried, wrapping her arms around herself in a pathetic attempt to cover her nudity. 

Matt snapped his head back to face her while standing up off the bed. His expression was coloured with rage.

“Well you should have fucking thought of that before agreeing to this then!” He roared, his sudden harsh tone causing her to flinch. 

Matt grabbed for his boxers and swiftly put them on, cigarette still sitting between his lips. The tears fell from Y/N’s eyes, yet she didn’t make a sound. She simply watched him pull his jeans on, buckling his belt, then searching for his shirt. A serious expression remained evident in his face, his brows knit together and nostrils flaring. His dark eyes met her without warning, and her heart jumped.

“I can’t believe you expected any more from me. You know how I am. I’m sorry you were too caught up in your own naivety to realize exactly how much you mean to me.” He wasn’t yelling, but his words were loud, cutting through her heart without mercy. 

Y/N’s mouth fell open, but no words were spoken. Matt watched her break down silently, her heart shattered. She was no longer the beacon of warmth she once was. 

“Fine,” She whispered, not bearing to look him in the eyes. Her head hung down, tears falling, painting the sheets.

“I don’t care what I mean to you. I’ll wait for you next Thursday.”

The soft words pierced through Matt’s own heart. She would still wait. He stood speechless, staring at her small figure hugging itself on the bed, not able to face him. Was that how little she respected herself? She let him speak to her like that, yet still openly stated that she would wait for him. That she expected to see him again next Thursday.

He scoffed at her foolishness, unable to find a response. Because what Matt couldn’t admit to himself was that he was subconsciously thankful to hear those words. He couldn’t help the fact that he still wanted to see her too. Despite everything. 

His mind turned blank. Finally, he was able to move again and quickly grabbed his shirt off the ground. He grinded the cigarette into the ashtray sitting on the bedside table. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t bear to be in the room with her anymore. Her words, her lingering affection for him, it was almost painful for him. It caused guilt to well up within him. If he stayed any longer, he knew he would give into his urges and rush to hold her, comfort her and plant kisses into her hair. But he couldn’t do that, he refused to let that vulnerability win the battle which constantly persisted within his mind.

“Yeah… next Thursday. Be ready,” Was all he could say in response. And then he was out the door, not wanting to stay long enough to hear any response from her. He feared it might crush whatever remained of his pride. 

Y/N sat thoughtlessly on the bed. Her mind was still fogged up from the intensity of the events which had occurred. Being with him always ended up being so overwhelming. Her eyes darted to the discarded cigarette which lay in the ashtray. A thin line of smoke still rose from the lit end. Similar to how Matt’s presence still lingered in the room after he had left. 

~

It was Wednesday, almost a week after that unpleasant acquaintance. However, Matt was quick to get over his emotions and occupy his mind with other things. Like this new girl he was in bed with. The two lay sprawled across the motel bed, stupefied under the affects of the drugs they had taken. 

They were in the middle of a lazy makeout session, when Matt took notice of her nails which pawed at his clothed dick. Crimson red.

The girl’s brow furrowed, confused as Matt pulled away without warning, showing no signs of wanting to continue with her. 

“What are you doing?” She questioned, her tone irritatingly loud. Matt thought her voice was quite annoying. Nothing like that of Y/N’s, a softer trill which transcended his thoughts, softening his heart. 

Matt leapt off the bed without saying a word. He palmed his belongings and stumbled out of the room, leaving the girl who’s name he didn’t even remember sitting dumbfounded on the bed. He was still intoxicated, but with a newfound determination. He wanted to see Y/N.

It wasn’t Thursday. But he wanted her. Needed her. 

Matt staggered to his car, jumping in and breathing heavily as he relaxed into the seat. He ran a shaky hand through his hair, and sat confused as to what his next move would be. God, he wanted to call her, to hear her pretty voice. 

Thus, he fished in his pocket for his phone, his drugged conscience not allowing for any second thoughts. He searched the sea of contacts for her name. He dialed it. It rang.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Four…

His heart sank as he waited for her. Until she picked up. His breath hitched, his ears growing warm as he anticipated her voice. He didn’t know what to say. He’d never found himself in such a desperate state before. 

Y/N’s hand shook as she held the phone to her ear. Her heart fluttered as she listened to his breath persist shakily on the other end. Neither of them could say anything.

He had only ever called her on Thursday.

But it’s not Thursday, baby why you calling?

.

.

.

[cozycottagetarot]

How Can You Manifest Your Wishes?

 Notes:

This is not one of my favourite readings, but I hope you find something useful in it!These types of readings are always slightly difficult to keep organise but I tried my best. I'd love to know if you prefer paragraphs or bullet points as well! Shout out to the anon who recommended this reading!

‼️ This reading is in no way shape or form meant to act as or substitute professional advice of any kind. Please use your discretion, think carefully before you act and only take what resonates be it a little, some or none at all. ‼️

This PAC Includes:

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

The Energy You're In

The Energy You Need To Be In

Extended Reading Includes

How Can You Open Yourself Up

What's Working vs What's Not Working

Additional Messages

Dividers From X

Reading Masterlist | Patreon | Paid Readings -- Open 🥂

PILE 1

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

Wishes for a full-life makeover. If it’s a wish (or goal) you feel blocked or burnout pursuing. A wish you keep coming back to or feels like a ‘higher calling’. A wish of the heart. A wish around love (of any kind).

The Energy You're In

It feels like you’re in this bright, playful energy and you’re just absolutely ready to go! You see all the possible laid out before you and you’re getting excited about it. You could be coming out of a rough period and you’re trying to rebuild your sense of positivity. You’re trying to move on to the next version of you. You’re expecting the best (or you should be) and are in this very attractive and magnetic energy right now. You have a card here the Flamingo which is all about fun and the vibes of this section make me think of Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter. The vibe of the music video feels very playful and fun and the line “my give a f*cks are on vacation” reminds me of the energy you're in at the moment. It all feels very warm like I can almost feel the sun on my skin.

HOWEVER, you may be focusing on these possibilities through the eyes of others… living vicariously through others. What I mean by this is viewing people through social media, books, even in person and believing you can do what they do (which is fine) but through their experience or as them rather than you… I hope that makes sense. You may hold onto the super intense aspects of love or pleasure. This can be especially important regarding relationships! I will make a post on this a little later (it’s drafted), but the energy you’re in requires you to take a look at what ‘work’ you’re asking others to do for you. You need to focus on how you’re channeling the vibrant passionate energy you’re embodying at the moment.

The Energy You Need To Be In

As beautiful as your current energy is, you need to slow your roll a little bit here. Yes, hold onto the belief that things are going great for you— but you also need to ground yourself and savour the small moments too. Enjoy ALL the good things… right down to the perfectly crafted beverage. Take chances but double-check your trajectory first. Don’t just rush in, you’re in need of a balance right now. You’re in a phase of transition but divine timing is also at play. However, I feel like if you try to force things then you might end up bringing a 'tower moment' on yourself (if you’re about to panic, relax!) where you’re forced to take a look at what is truly important to you.

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

PILE 2

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

 Of personal strength. Wishing your wish will come true. Balance. Employment (especially self employment). A wish to remove a known block or a wish for a solution of any kind. Relating to being in between phases. Something that will bring you a sense of safety or stability. Gaining your wings. Wishes involving social connections.

*Relationships are such a strong theme here, but it seems as though it maybe experience from childhood that come up a lot in this reading

The Energy You're In

I think you’re in an energy of waiting and surveying your surroundings... Like when someone’s wounded and retreats to regroup and tend to themselves. Main themes relate to boundaries, relationships and self care. You’re trying to find allies but I think it’s a little bit hard right now. Very analytical mind, trying to determine what stays and what goes. Things are definitely shifting and you’re just kind of keeping to yourself. Communication is such a big thing for you here. I feel like you’re really just on the sidelines taking things slow. You want to ally with others but you need to tend to yourself first or at least that’s your focus right now. You’re mainly in an energy of taking stock it seems… on alert in changing circumstances. You might be ruminating on how you communicate with others? There’s a suggest to look at how you experienced communication growing up? You might be stuck in your head… seeing “people” as not safe.

Idk guys, like are you good? Usually Pile 3 is the one that messes with me but the energies here feel sooo off. Kind of wondering if you're fatigued, hung up over someone even? Not necessarily romantically but someone who was/is supposed to have your back and you’re just hitting a wall or something at the moment. The energy literally disappearaed once I moved onto the energy you need to be in so take that as a positive sign!

If it ain’t me — Dua Lipa kept coming to me and disco balls stood out from the cards.

The Energy You Need To Be In

I feel like you need to be in an energy where, yes you’re surveying/assessing your surroundings, but you have to get up and do so instead of sitting around. You need to take action and expand your horizons. Be bold and go for it... I think you’ve got what you need. The consistent message is that doing nothing is not an option. Take a chance on what will fulfill your desires. Accepting endings is important and being able to move on. Allow yourself to transition to a fresh start.

Consider your image and how you show up as/interact with authority. Leadership. Especially emotional leadership. Parenting oneself and/or setting the example for how you want others to treat you. Create a safe home ‘base’ (internal or external) but don’t get stuck in it. Maybe ask yourself what creates home? Makes you feel safe/secure? You also could need to take a look at sibling relationships or any with a sibling like dynamic and factor in how you those affect how you show up is important to look at too. I think this could relate to blocks. But you need to place your roots first and then explore.

Trust yourself and make a move. Focus on your strengths and believe that you have gathered enough data to move forward. Structure and strategy are going to be your friends. Honor those ‘above’ you but hold onto your power. Set boundaries and hold other accountable (and yourself too).

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

PILE 3

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

Travel, adventure, family, community, friendships/found family, creative projects, diving intervention, exploring new interest, work-life balance.

The Energy You're In

Closing out cycles and actively transforming. Seeking out messages from the divine. You're open to receiving messages and guidance. Very calm and zen feeling. Maybe feeling like you're going through or have recently gone through a rebirth. You're ready to make moves. Strong willed. "What do you want to do?" is a question that should be potentially on your mind if it's not. Taking inspired action. Bring play into your life/how can you do so? This can even apply to relationships. Healing. Compare and contrasting how past events influence you and if how you're showing up matches your intentions. Heavy on the "level up" energy but this is a kind you're actively seeking. Exploring relationships, mentorships, ideas. Leaning on love ones. Generally being in good vibes.

Feels like a combination of pile 1 and 2 so if you were drawn to one of those as well I recommend checking them out.

This also feels like a very spiritual pile? I'm not sure how describe it but I kept saying 'the Universe' alot while I was doing this reading so of course just adjust it to whatever suits you and your belief best! 

The Energy You Need To Be In

It's slightly hard to organise the messages here. There's a need to ground yourself. Don't stop working on healing, but also maintain your stability. Expansion & communication. Abundance is coming in. Remember you're worthy of abundance and your manifestation skills are heightened. Big things are coming for you. Expanding your perspective as well. Where do you need to speak up? You can and should try to lean on others. Open your heart... you don't have to have an armored heart. Cultivate your wishes, the things you want to grow. Nurture your wishes and your heart. Make sure you're clear on what you want to manifest. Keep your motivation up by focusing on short term steps. Look to mentors for guidance.

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

PILE 4

This Might Resonate If Your Wish Is...

Nostalgia. Happiness. Needing motivation. Heavily charged emotional wishes. Something relating to others… not necessarily currently though. Like a wish that was formed because of someone years ago. If you have a vision board. Looking for a break. Or for a break to end. A wish where you’ve heard divine timing is at play. Direction. A waiting period to be over. Trying to break something you know isn’t good for you.

Pay attention to words, phrases or songs that come up often.

The Energy You're In

You’re very guarded. You’re wanting to break away from whatever is just weighing on you and you’re working hard at it but at the same time I feel like you just won’t let go??? Despite you working to break the chains or get a move on, it feels like they’re never ending but they are ending!! Don’t be fooled by appearances.

I think you’re very future focused and all about recreating yourself (I heard in entirety). You’re trying to expand your pov and I feel also kind of just nurture yourself internally. Very introspective trying to figure out who you are and what you want to do or who you want to be.

The Energy You Need To Be In

I didn’t really get anything specifically about money regarding wishes but I think it at least revolves around some kind of stability heavily. You need to be walking away from what isn’t serving you. Realise that you can create just about anything right now... anything goes.

You need to be doing what’s best for you regardless of if you hate it. Your day to day life is super important. I don’t know if rainbows are important to you but also I’m feeling like you need to fill your life with colour too. You need to become clear on resources and what they mean to you such as money, you body, other material possessions etc. get your financial life together. Do some deep cleaning. Like normally these readings are a matter of mindset and mental work but this pile feels very physical. Beautify your life and make it aesthetically pleasing without breaking the bank. How can you use art as well to make a masterpiece out of your feelings? How can you make your day to day life more enjoyable?

Thank you for making it this far! If you're interested in extended reading which includes how you can open yourself up, what's working vs what's not and more then you can check it out here!

[kiddiewrites]

First Post

Sooooo this is the first fanfic I write, the current obsession is Call of Duty. Have I ever played the game?? No. Am I gonna play the game? Yes, I've downloaded the mobile version :D. Do the characters match their game personality? Probably not, the only source I have of them are other fanfics and edits I saw on tiktok JAJAJAJA.

Angst, T.F.141 x reader, Platonic!T.F.141 x reader, HURT, bit of OOC T.F. 141, pining!reader, bit of a sad ending, drunk confessions, overheard conversations, PAAAAAAAIIIIN (maybe I’m just projecting Enlgish is my second language so please be kind xd

PART 2

∞ Command me to be well ∞

“There is no sweeter innocence, than our gentle sin”

In all honesty, you weren’t supposed to be there. You should’ve been in the med bay, you should’ve been filing reports on the last mission and updating medical records.

You’ve been assigned to Task Force 141 as their base doctor, having no experience in the field you remained back in HQ until they came back from deployment. You quickly realized they didn’t fully trust you as a doctor, whether it was due to your civilian background or a misjudgement of your abilities, you never knew and frankly you didn’t want to. You tried not to be a bother, you knew their job was hard as it was, so you tried a friendlier approach, making sure to try and interact with them if even at a minimum. 

Instead, you were faced with a hard cold truth, one that you hoped had vanished with a few friendlier words in your direction… you weren’t wanted.

Time seemed to move slower as the last few minutes replayed in your mind. 

The guys were sharing a much needed drink after a rather difficult mission. Letting the façade fall down for a bit, the whiskey loosening tongues and bringing to the surface feelings that could no longer be held down.

You were walking down the hallway that led to Price’s office, a bit of a pep to your walk and a container of baked goods in one hand and the files that needed his signature on the other. You knew they’d be a bit peckish after their mission so you thought ahead and brought some pastries that you knew they liked, even though Simon always said that those were more sugar than bread. In an instant the door to the Captain's office was at reach so you balanced the files over the container. 

-She’s jus so fecking annoying, y’know ?-

You stopped right when you were about to knock on the door, hand midair. 

-I ge’ tha’ we’re suppose to get along seein tha shes the fecking doctor- 

What?  Your breathing stopped and your body shivered

-Bu’ I jus can’t seem to tolerate’ er- the voices seemed a bit muffled by the closed door but still the volume was loud enough for you to hear… Listening as you stood there frozen, wishing that you couldn’t. 

-C’mon Johnny, she can be a bi’ annoying, sure.- Ouch 

-Bu’ she does ‘er job properly and at the end o’ the day, tha’s why she’s ‘ere fo’. - 

Kyle seemed to try and reason with him but even his own voice sounded strained. 

The beating of your heart going wild with every second that passed, your eyes stinging with unshed tears. They couldn’t refer to you right? Maybe, maybe it was someone else on their mission…

-Y/N does a good job, lads.- That’s the captain’s voice… Fuck…

-I get tha’, is jus… she keeps sticking t’ us like feckin glue everywhere we go- Oh no…

The tears were freely flowing now, not wanting to believe what you were hearing, sure you weren’t the most serious person but you never thought that would be a problem, specially after everything you’ve done with and for them. 

-Maybe you’ should stop inviting ‘er everywhere with us then- 

-Is no’ like I want to, Lt.  Bu’ she jus… pops ‘ere everytime I try and talk to all o’ you .- 

“Maybe I should go… But… my legs are not moving” 

-S’ your fault for flirting wi’ er when she came roun’ the firs time- Kyle was annoyed, months of interaction helping you to recognize the tone in their voices.

-Y’kno tha’ he does tha’ to everyone.- Simon sounded so sincere that you couldn’t help to feel stupid, as if you were just a joke. Another one of the bunch… 

-Lads, c’mon… She’s jus’ doin her job- Price was tired and he could already feel a headache starting to form in the back of his head.

-She’s a nice girl, ‘sides you kno’ tha’ i couldn’ stop Laswell for saddling ‘er with us- 

That was it, you never thought that they didn’t want you. They were a bit standoff-ish in the first few weeks or so but that was because they didn't know you… right? They were a tight-knit group, it was perfectly natural to not trust an outsider with their health, right? 

They became friendlier in the last weeks, actually letting you patch them up rather than doing it themselves when you weren’t in the med bay. The first one that apparently seemed friendly to you was Johnny, making you blush with his flirtatious ways but at least making you glad that he was starting to open up a bit, Kyle and Price being a bit on the quiet side but at least no longer just completely silent while you fixed them up and Simon… well he was still not talking to you or acknowledging you.

Knowing that all of your efforts were for nothing made you feel useless, it had nothing to do with your job, you knew you were good otherwise you wouldn’t have been assigned to the 141. 

So with a deep breath and a new goal in mind,  you turned away and left files in one hand and a slightly crushed box of pastries.

“In the madness and soil, of that sad earthly scene”

You didn’t sleep a wink since that moment, pouring yourself over the medical files that needed your approval for final submission.

You were so deep in thought, that you didn’t hear the knocks at your door, only looking up when you heard a cough to get your attention. 

There stood your captain, looking very tired and you already could see the headache seeping into his usual calm demeanor. 

The urge to offer him a tea cup or a mild remedy for his head crossed your mind, he looked really tired but after what you heard last night you just couldn’t bring yourself to do so. 

- Is there something you needed, captain?- your voice came out a little bit tired and sharper than usual, something that didn’t went unnoticed by the captain

-Yeah, kid. The reports from the last mission, do you have’ em?- He narrowed his eyes a bit at you, as if trying to figure out what happened. 

-Sure, let me get them for you- you stood up and moved to the cabinet next to your desk, there you took them off next to where the box of pastries remained intact and went ahead to give the to  the captain. 

- Here, all of the medical procedures and recent injuries are already stated. All they need is your approval so your medical history can be updated in due course- 

You handed him the files and turned to look at him, his face was a mix of confusion and slight annoyance. This side of you was new to him and he didn’t quite like it, where once you were all smiles and cheerful disposition now stood a sad look and a blank face, as if the very sunshine was taken from you. 

-Is everything all righ’, kid?- he found himself asking, you sighed loudly and headed back to your desk.

-Don’t worry about me, captain. Is just a rough patch, that’s all- You sat down and started to go over the files laid out before you.

-Alrigh’, if you need anything…- he watched you for a few seconds and then turned away and left.

A sour mood was felt across the base and from the interaction each of them had with you over the course of the week … there was definitely something wrong. 

Johnny tried flirting with you, but instead of being all giggles and blushing mess you just looked at him with a tight lip smile and continued as if he never talked to you, even when Kyle came in to your office for a quick fix up of his most recent stitches you remained completely silent, only talking to give him instructions on how to take care of his injuries and when to take his pain meds. Price’s office was a bit quieter than usual, without your usual self trying to warm up to him with an equally warm cup of tea or coffee in hand to help him through his headaches, even Simon felt the shift in your behavior, when crossing in the hallways or the break room being greeted with nothing more than a call of his rank and quickly leaving. 

The boys went into the cafeteria that same week and were surprised to see that while to the other soldiers you were still friendly and smiley, to them you were nonchalant and seemed almost way too professional. And that was upsetting everyone, so when you finished your lunch and went back to your office, files and coffee in hand they all decided that enough was enough.

You hadn't even finished entering your office when the four men burst in right behind you. You turned around with a scared look and a squeak of surprise at the sudden intrusion, the coffee almost falling from your grip and the files clutched to your chest. The boys all looked at you with a mix of annoyance and betrayal and you felt small, very very small. 

-What the hell is wrong with you?- your voice was a bit raised from the fright you were still recovering from, as you walked to your desk to leave the files and the coffee, Johnny spoke up. 

-Us? Wha’ e’ ‘ell is wrong wit you?- You turned around with a very deep frown etched into your face. 

-What are you talking about? You’re the ones that burst into my office like a pack of wild animals.- A very annoyed Johnny stepped right up until he was face to face with you. 

-Johnny calm down, mate.- Gaz’s voice was heard over Johnny’s loud breathing. 

-No, no’ until she’s told us jus’ wha’ in the living fuck is wrong- His voice was dangerously low, and it was fucking terrifying. 

-First of, back the fuck off, sargeant. I may be just a bloody fucking nuisance but i’m a doctor and I will break every bone in your body while naming them- A surprised look flashed through everyone’s faces, you’ve never talked to them like that before, and when Johnny didn’t seem to back off, you pushed with all your might and managed to make him to stumble back a bit. 

At that moment Ghost approached him and held him before he could fall, but the look he gave you, was right down murderous. A chill ran down your spine and your instincts screamed at you to run but your legs didn’t seem to work. Price at seeing the angry look on both of your faces quickly stood in front of everyone and yelled at both of you to cut it out. 

-Y/LN, you’ll apologize this instant or you’ll be subject to a reprimand for assaulting a ranking officer.- Price knew at the moment those words left his lips… he’d fucked up. 

-Excuse me?- You turned to look at him, furious. The nerve of these men…

-You think that you can burst into my office, to then demand an answer for which I do not know the fucking question to and THEN reprimand me for protecting myself against a man that got way into my personal space?- 

Your voice was raised, you were very very pissed off and the boys knew it, they knew they weren’t the best when it came to you, almost neglecting your care due to years and years of trust issues. They knew it wasn’t fair to you, but still when the only ones taking care of them were themselves, they just couldn’t trust you completely.

- I have tried SO hard to have you guys to trust me, GOD KNOWS I’VE TRIED and you won’t let me.- You felt the tears well up in the corners of your eyes and the faces of shock in the squad just made you feel worse. 

You hated yourself for crying, but the anger in you, the betrayal and the sadness were all out there now, so might as well just tell them everything. 

-I know I’m pathetic to you, I know that you think I’m… how you put it, Sergeant MacTavish?- At the mention of his name he looked up at you - “so fucking annoying”, I think was the term used.- His eyes widened, he knew exactly what you were talking about and the others seemed to remember the conversation they had a few days prior. 

-You’ eard o’r conversation?- Gaz seemed a bit angry and confused, how the hell could you have heard them if you weren’t supposed to be in the building. 

-Yes… I know it was wrong… I needed the captain’s signature on all of your files so your medical records could be updated..- The realization dawned on the captain, that’s why you were so down the next day… You heard everything. 

- But… I guess it was ultimately for the best- Your voice a whisper as you looked at them. 

-If you’re that unsatisfied with my care, I’ll ask the brass for a transfer.- The determined look on your face was like a slap in their faces, you were really going to leave them. They needed to fix this but neither of them said anything, you took a deep breath and left the office, leaving the four men standing dumbfounded in your office.

“What in the actual fuck just happened?” a thought, accompanied with the memory of utter anger and sadness in your face that will hunt the squad for the rest of their lives. 

They needed to fix it… soon. 

“Only then I am human, only then I am clean”

SOOOOOOO this was my first piece, i'm really sorry if it’s not the best so please forgive me jajaja.

If you liked it please like and reblog, I would like to keep writing and knowing you like it will make me very happy.

Jejejeje feedback is appreciated <3

[sinizade]

Pam, The Necromancer Druid

Class: Druid (Necromancer subclass)

Normal Tav (evil ending)

Romance: Minthara

Besties: Midnight/ Scratch/ Owl bear

Pam used to live with her parents in the middle of nature, as druids they always taught her the way of Sylvanus and his ways so that nature always remained in balance, but since then the girl has demonstrated a spirit that is indifferent to life beyond animals, people have always been the source of her main contempt no matter what race they are. The girl always used to stay away from even her own parents, preferring to stay among animals and, no matter how hard her parents tried, they could never make her comfortable in her own home.

Her adolescence was lonely as she decided that the best way to please herself and her parents would be to leave home, she started to live in small huts that she used to set up in the middle of the forest and honestly, she lived well without being forced to live with all the stress that I experienced when I was forced to live with other people. Most of her time she spent in her wolf form, hunting, helping them, being part of a pack. Talking to some wolves she managed to be convinced that her place was with the people, as much as they loved her and she loved them, she should go back to her people and try to have a good life beyond the forest. Baldur's gate wasn't pretty, it wasn't pleasant, the smell of that place made her want to vomit and there were a lot of people who looked at her as if she were some kind of monstrosity, of course, she was dirty, half-naked and aggressive, but it wasn't a reason to treat her. her as a monstrosity, but the real monstrosities emerged when she saw a ship in the sky.

Pam is now forced to live with this bunch of chatty misfits, the only one who doesn't lose her patience in that environment is Lae'zel who only says what is necessary so that everyone there can at least get out of this situation alive and without becoming Illith, but that sanctuary, those refugees... That made her furious, how dare those hellish creatures? How dare a druid tarnish the sanctuary like that? She needed to get them out of there, she needed to end Khaga's existence and at first allying with that drow seemed like a good option... She was charming Pam needed to admit that, but she would never forgive herself if she killed those hellish creatures for no reason at all. Your best option was to eliminate Khaga in the bud, killing her and the shadow druids who were on her side, as for Minthara? She wouldn't be a problem if all that goblin scum were dead so Pam just knocked her out so she wouldn't cause any more problems. Her conscience didn't weigh as much as she thought it would, she actually felt relieved and after that massacre in the Grove she received even more relief from Minthara who seemed to develop an interest in her.

Minthara was right, what would be the point of going so far and not taking something in compensation? What's the point of almost dying so many times in exchange for nothing? Pam understood that that choice would weigh later, but she couldn't- She shouldn't allow people to destroy anymore... Being the Absolute would give her the power to improve things in her vision, improve life, improve the forest, with her beloved Minthara by her side, Pam would now have the power to take it all and finally bring true balance to nature.

Some extra information about Pam

Pam's grandmother was a Nymph

Pam can use her blood to create any type of plant and managed to improve this by studying necromancy, starting to use the blood and bodies of other people.

Pam's first time was with Minthara

Pam has a pet crow named Midnight

I also made a small time lapse of this art and posted it on my Twitter in case anyone wants to see it!