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Autism and Being Constantly Exhausted
Neurodivergent_lou
#autism#actually autistic#exhaustion#bring constantly tired#burnout#masking#managing sensory overload#insomnia and sleep issues#executive function#neurodivergence#neurodiversity#actually neurodivergent#feel free to reblog#neurodivergent lou (facebook)
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He just wants to be missed
#gravity falls#bill cipher#ford pines#stanford pines#billford#shitpost#the amount of times Bill asks if people will miss him is something he needs to bring up in therapy#did your parents not love you enough Bill?#your issues are showing#ignore the mistakes#I’m too tired to fix them#and honestly not emotionally stable enough#feeling like a piece of shit rn and I haven’t even done anything wrong#…um but#did you guys miss me? 🥺🥺🥺#one day I’m gonna stop posting entirely and wait patiently for the ‘omg are you okay’ messages that will never come in#and then give up and post again#I never said I was any better than him here#I too constantly crave validation from others and really want to be missed
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Saw a post that made me furious yesterday so if people STILL don't understand this:
Aspec people are queer.
And no, it's not our love that makes us queer, it's our LACK of certain types of love that make us queer.
There is of course aspec people who are queer both because of their love and their lack of love, but being aspec is queer because of the lack of love.
Saying "but aspecs love too! Their love is also important! Aro and ace people have love and their love is also important!" is not the support you think it is for a lot of aspec people.
My love for my mother isn't what makes me queer. My love for my friends isn't what makes me queer. It's my lack or romantic love that makes me queer. Yea love is important to me, especially platonic love, but that is not what makes me queer.
And let's not forget about loveless aros.
For the love of god stop going "but aros love too!" just so you can relate to us somehow or just so you can include us. We don't need love to be included.
And because some people are going to take this as a personal attack: no, there is nothing wrong with being gay. There is nothing wrong with love is love. Love is important to a lot of people and I am not saying love is bad.
Happy pride everyone
#stiff talk#sorry the post pissed me off SO MUCH#i wanted to argue wjth the op bht i just blocked them#i did not have the strength to argue#aromantic#asexual#aspec#aroace#sincerely: someone who is tired of seeing others try to constantly bring love into queer identities who are about the lack of love.#also please note i will not be arguing wjth any exclusionists#if you say shit on this post youre getting blocked i dont need go argue with someone whos not here to listen but to be hateful
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I was going through my art folder again and I saw one of the oldest wof stuff I've ever drawn (the fourth one ever I think?) and I redrew it! I love Turtle and I just took this excuse to draw him again
#What's this? two cinnamon posts in a week?#I got so tired of reading about molluscs man#so many snail shells and clam shell hinge types#I finished my notes and run to look for something to draw#I feel like I'm redrawing my stuff recently#but honestly it brings me joy so why not#I have this one drawing I'm constantly thinking about redrawing#the oldest wof drawing I've ever done#it's actually on tumblr it's the one with blue and orange rainwing#but I don't know if I'm ready for it yet#anyway Turtle#I love turtle and my design for this dude#also I took my old anemone design and gave it more jellyfish-ness#I feel it suits her vibe and also anemones are cnidarians too so it makes sense to me#wings of fire#wof#dragons#wof turtle#wof anemone#seawing#cinnamon's doodles#wof fanart
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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Mike's posting on Youtube now. If you're a Bendy fan very unhappy with the awful decisions he's been making recently or the way he spoke to his fans.... I would heavily consider making a somewhat civil comment about how fucking annoying his constant stubbornness to keep posting on social media no matter how fucking poorly it goes for him Every Time is, and how just because he's moved to a new platform we aren't going to stop criticizing his actions nor forget how awful he was on Twitter/X
Here's the comment I left, no I wasn't super kind because Mike is rich and a bigot, he'll be fine if I'm a little rough on him. Wonder how long he'll let it stay up lmao.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the dark revival#bendy and the ink machine#batim bendy#bendy and boris in the inky mystery#I am genuinely so tired of this man dear god#please discourage him from using social media in the comments its so tiring to constantly have to worry or hear about the stupid shit#he does and says constantly I was so relieved when he deleted his twitter cause it meant I no longer had to constantly read and then make#a post informing people on what stupid fucking things he said now#also I didnt bring it up in this comment but lmao lol to promise quality to his fans when the graphic novel literally has#coloring mistakes in it like it has multiple what a joke he is#somebody please point that out in the comments Im begging you guys-#ramblez#for the record I wouldnt consider this bullying bc mike is an asshole but also bc#using social media clearly upsets him greatly esp with how he speaks to people on it#its clearly bad for both his mental health and the mental health of the fans or in particular me#for the love of god tell him this is a bad idea
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every time i see someone make the "trapper didn't leave a note" argument i lose 5 years off my life fr
#you people are willfully misinterpreting that scene to make your ship look better and it's so obvious#HAWKEYE IS THE ONE WHO WAS LATE#radar could not have been clearer that trapper waited until the last possible second#what the fuck was he supposed to do; not go home????#if he was waiting for hawkeye so he could say goodbye in person and hawk didn't show up i'm sorry but that is simply not on trapper#and you're doing both of their characters a huge disservice by taking it that way#and that's not even bringing up the kiss#that doesn't scream 'he never cared about hawkeye in the first place' which is how i see people talk about that scene constantly#do i think hawkeye has 0 right to be upset? no!#but trapper isn't evil for wanting to go home to his wife and children you dense motherfuckers that's what the whole show is about#tumblr users love to find a guy they already don't like and reverse engineer reasons that they're actually morally superior for it#sorry i don't usually get Confrontational on here but i'm so goddamn tired of this#mash#my posts
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I was vending at the reptile expo when I felt a little tug on the back of my shirt and suddenly I had a baby to keep me company. He was very tired of being manhandled by the small child he belonged to, and slept up on my shoulder in peace for about an hour before stealing some of my water and heading back to his own people.
#parrots#birds#personal#i 100% do not think people should be letting their hookbills out#they shouldn't be bringing them to reptile expos in the first place#but they shouldn't be free ranging#because for one they actually do make me extremely anxious#and for two diseases are a thing??#like i have birds and you don't know what i could be bringing with me#i don't know what I'm bringing home!#but it's also not the bird's fault#so i was not going to be mean to him over it#and i was tired of watching the kid constantly harass him so#he got to stay as long as he wanted
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sorry. im still pissed off about my english class today. can everyone shut the fuck up about the holocaust forever. please. holy shit.
#boycritter et al#STOP BRINGING IT UP WHEN YOU NEED AN EXAMPLE OF A BAD THING.#ITS NOT EVEN RELEVANT#fucking. talking about heroes/villains and how the pov of the narrator influences how you view the story.#bc everyone sees a situation differently. basic ass shit this is a college level english class but whatever.#'yeah like nazi germany thought they were in the right' YEAH WE ALL FUCKING KNOW. WE KNOW THEY THOUGHT THAT.#can we all stop rehashing basic fucking facts about the nazis and talk about something that is a) relevant to this class#b) not super upsetting to hear about constantly as a jewish person#idk im just. im TIRED of hearing about it and im tired of it being tossed around in casual conversation#and im tired of it being treated as some easy thing to point to when you need an example of something horrific#because a lot of people in my high school in indiana have not been impacted by it!!!#but i have!! it happened less than a century ago to my great grandparents and its fucked up that you seem to forget#thats even a possibility#idk. ive just also been really pissed off about everything ever#bc my period is soon and im stressed about finals and seeing family#and this feels like the one thing ive gotten pissed about that actually feels justified to get upset by
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i was in tagaytay a few days ago and holy FUCK was the humidity there insane. my glasses were fogging the fuck up almost the entire time i was there.
but at the same time it gave me the spiritual experience of coming out of a 7-11 at a rainy evening, instantly becoming blinded by the sheer humidity and having my glasses covered in an absurdly thick layer of fog.
oh, to be bathed in the cold light of a seven eleven as rain poured down on my head, unable to see while wandering out to a place you do not know while there's no one in the streets at almost midnight. something happened to my soul there.
honestly i think it was left behind in that very spot.
#random#me#i was there bcause i forgot to bring my goddamn toothbrush and only realized it when it was literally like. what now. 11 pm?#also was tired as hell because i finally ran out of those kopiko candies. granted i think they did nothing to me lmao but they#tasted exactly like coffee#it was really deliciously cold there. i was shivering all the time and my hands were constantly icy but. i think i would enjoy living there#granted i would be wearing a jacket all the time but jackets are cool.
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doing shitty again wooo yay.
#personal#can my grandma shut the fuck up for once thank youuu#nothing i ever fucking do is good enough for her ! sorry for having a messy room even though you know im actively suicidal and -#-so sick i cant stand right now !#sorry for having 2 missing assignments ! two ! fucking two ! even thought you know i have depression ! im so sorry my highness !#sorry for having the worst fucking year of my life last year can you PLEASE stop FUCKING bringing it up ALL THE TIME#im not allowed to fucking have emotions near her . im not allowed to be anything but constantly happy im so fucking tired#im not allowed to have issues . im not allowed to not eat for 3 days without the passive aggressive ''look who's finally eating'' and the-#- speech on why i shouldnt have the problems i have . I KNOW . I DONT FUCKING WANT THEM EITHER.#she just expects me to be the perfect daughter after 14 years of abuse . you dont just fucking bounce back from something like that .#sorry ill be normal after this . ill shut up#ed tw#suicide mention
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x.
#( ooc . mun speaks . )#tw vent#tw negativity#tw negative#i am. so tired of my brain constantly terrifying me.#i get so warped up & upset over the idea that ppl don’t like me as much as i like them. or don’t actually want to be friends.#or that they’re secretly mad at me ?? somehow ????#and i just feel. so yucky & inferior.#& that’s not the way rp is supposed to feel :((#we all bring unique aspects to these characters & show our talents differently & it’s genuinely a fun & beautiful thing.#& i am so tired of feeling this way & also just talking abt it dhshsjdjdj#my head is full & i just needed to get it out i fear.#i don’t want my only presence on the dash all the time to be me anxious & sad. yk?#but. anyway. we persevere!#tbd .
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Miyako: This is my daughter Ruby and her brother Aqua.
Kana: Aren't they both your children, why isn't Aqua given the son title?
Miyako: I don't like him.
#oshi no ko#this is a joke btw#miyako best mom#but i think it's so funny that#everytime miyako brings up ruby#she's very protective of ruby she wants to make sure that ruby doesn't get hurt#meanwhile with aqua#she's constantly tired of him and his edgelord bs#hoshino miyako#hoshino ruby#hoshino aquamarine#hoshino aqua#cori's random thoughts
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ok executive dysfunction is kind of ruining my life actually
#i have an incredibly time-consuming project i NEED to finish and i genuinely don’t know if i can#i’ve started which is good but i’m horrifically behind where i need to be and i’m just so overwhelmed#i technically have enough time to finish it i think? but it’s my final project so i literally cannot miss this deadline#my professor is really cool + likes me but it’s already been so long w/out me bringing it up#and wtf am i supposed to say? yeah. i WANTED to work on it. i just chose not to????? like wtf#it’s just so humiliating and i’m so behind i don’t know wtf i’m gonna do#it’s worse bc it’s an animation and it’s gg related and i really really wanted this to be good and i wanted things to be different this time#kind of funny bc i’m actually mid getting an adhd diagnosis rn but it’s just so fucking awful because i do this constantly#it fucking sucks so much i feel so helpless and i don’t know wtf is wrong with me. i’m so tired of letting everyone down constantly#it’s so bad rn i literally cannot do anything. it’s humiliating like WHY can’t i just be a functional normal person#it fucking SUCKS because i KNOW if i had any self control or work ethic whatsoever i could be really fucking successful but i don’t.#so i won’t be i guess.#and i KNOW it’s tied into a bunch of different stuff too but like gd i DO NOT care i just want to be functional#worst case scenario i have an A in the class so if i completely blow it i’ll at least pass? hopefully?#i might be able to talk my prof into an extended deadline but it’s so embarrassing bc i didn’t need one in the first place.#i have literally no excuses#it just makes me so upset because i just keep doing this over and over and i don’t know how to stop it or how to get better#and LOL sorry for posting this here i just feel weird talking to anyone personally about this (+ currently avoiding responding to messages!)#it’s just like. man if i can’t get a fucking grip i will literally waste my entire life. Oh Well! LOL
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Like I don't Post about drama but vis a vis predestro's Tumblr ban, like. I don't necessarily think it's a good thing that we on the Internet have become so desensitized to threats of violence that we use them as jokes, but like.... That's been Tumblr culture for, what, a decade now? At least four years. Almost definitely longer.
And like. I've seen so much worse. Folks admitting to sending asks telling others to kill themselves!! Folks outright wishing x/y person killed themselves!!! Folks harassing trans folks (esp. trans women!)
But what gets this one lady banned was her man door hammer hand car boom-ass post???
Like, talk about enforcing the TOS from the wrong angle.
I totally get that part of it is "this person had their rule breaking reported en masse so something happened" but shouldn't the severity of the response have more to do with the severity of the offense, rather than how many people reported that user?
Like. The fact that we have to do mass reports to get anything to happen to anyone is ridiculous.
And, the fact that INCORRECT mass reports aren't punished more is also ridiculous.
There's also no report function for discriminatory content, or for seeing users harass each other. So... If you're not the one being harassed, your report does... Nothing??
Unless you, what scroll through someone's blog looking for things you could report as threatening violence??
On the "I hope every politician dies" webbed site???
There's obviously something fucky with their reporting system- either the way that reports are handled, or the way the severity of the reports are being judged.
Cause right now, it looks like they got a flood of reports from TERFs, photomatt saw a post about him, and went "well, fuck it, get her out of here" without looking at the context of HER BEING HARASSED FOR AGES. And that the post in question- the only one I saw shared!- was almost certainly a vent post for Said Situation that was...
Comically mishandled?
Like this one?
Like. Look. Do I think maybe at some point, on the "way too comfortable with violence on people I see as Wrong in some way" webbed site, a popular user said something that could actually be construed as a threat, and due to rampant transmisogyny got, got her shit reported?
Yeah, I can see that.
I don't follow her blog too closely, I know she does a lot of hyperbolic stuff. (as is Done on this Web site, again... I've almost certainly rb'd things just as bad)
But the example photomatt uses is hilariously bad and so obviously not a threat, and one would think, IN LIGHT OF THERE BEING ALLEGATIONS OF TRANSPHOBIA ON THEIR TEAM FOR YEARS, THEY WOULD BRING OUT A MORE CREDIBLE PIECE OF EVIDENCE THAN A LOONY-TOONS ASS DEATH WISH.
Just. The bar was on the ground and they still fumbled It! Fucking! Amazing!
#dragontalk#i don't like all her views on transandrophobia. but her takes on the ways trans women are policed are spot on.#but seeing this shitshow is wild! I've followed thia lady for ages and she's like. Intense but fine?#again. i don't follow her blog too closely! there might be more harsh shit that I'd never seen!#but. mostly i see a lady who's had to fight constantly. in a way lots of trans women have. to be taken seriously.#not as a threat. not as a joke. not as a hypothetical. but as a person! who's experience this like.#really shitty intersection of transphobia and transmisogyny and probably regular misogyny and like. l#i think most of us would get pretty snippy at that point too#and given we exist in a culture way too comfortable with wishing violence on people... yeah.#most of us would have wished ~someone~ got hit with a falling grand piano or an anvil or stepped on a rake so hard they died#just. truly wild times we live in.#maybe i should start a collection of 'this post wishes violence on someone'#maybe even narrow it to 'violence on someone who hasn't upheld state sanctioned violence during their life'#to cut out the ronald Reagan margeret thatcher queen lady ass violence wishes#which i can't even bring myself to care about. and that says something about me o don't think i like. but like.#but at the aame time too much colonial ass violence in this world. I'm Tired.
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>man it feels warm out
>29 degrees
>that would do it!
#i love how comparative temperature is. been so cold and windy that 29 and mostly still feels downright comfy#like my face is still cold but hat? don't need no stinkin hat! which is good bc i didn't bring one bc my hair is already flying away#and it actually looks nice and i'm TIRED of hiding it under hats (i wear a hat at work constantly to keep it contained) (hair nets? shhh)#anyway#this sure was a post#personal#abbie needs a twitter
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