#bridget random-fuck

[bamboobrat]

succession s4 e1 recap: bridget random-fuck and the logan roy selfie fiasco

happy return of succession, everyone! and with that, my completely unhinged and ridiculously time consuming recaps. i was honestly not sure i wanted to go down this rabbit hole for another season, but given that it is our last, i think i'll have to.

my coping mechanism currently is complete and utter denial. let's see how long that lasts.

we start off the episode at the most depressing birthday party there ever was. did you think the season one birthday party was bad? at least there was baseball and logan nearly dying. in season four it's all greg calling himself an honorary kid and fingering a girl called bridget in the guest room.

something tells me logan is regretting teaming up with tom and greg right about now.

in california, the siblings are pitching investors on a new media venture. as per usual, there's a lot of bullshitting involved and i can't tell if kendall is high or not during all of it, but it's nice to see the sibs be a team - at least for now.

back in new york, kerry is not happy with greg bringing bridget random-fuck to logan's party. couldn't agree more.

as for shiv, she is totally fine with the idea of tom getting a drink with naomi pierce.

this is definitely the face of someone who is fine:

if this was any other show, i'd launch the theory that shiv is pregnant right here. but this is succession, so that seems unlikely.

also, maybe i'm just projecting, knowing that snooks is pregnant.

either way, we've got a fantastic shiv episode on our hands. can't wait for sarah to win all the awards.

connor is polling at one percent, but is getting squeezed. as willa says, it's all super greedy, since his opponents already have all the other percents.

frankly rude to do my guy con and the conheads dirty this way. what would an election be without an unhinged billionaire, i mean, i can't remember. it's the american way.

anyway, this is the look of someone who has just been reassured he will still be part of the business, even if he gets a divorce:

super reassured.

bridget random-fuck keeps causing problems. first, she posts about a pierce family member being at the birthday party on social media, then she asks logan for a selfie saying, and i kid you not, kar-ching.

all the unhinged gerri kellman lesbians immediately notice her in the background, judging.

bridget is like an unhinged version of greg in the first episode of season one. good for her.

meanwhile the birthday boy is having a great time without his kids. nothing screams birthday like contemplating your own mortality.

i've also seen some posts that are like "wow so much has happened in ONE year", indicating that this is logan's 81st birthday, but i'm not sure. they don't mention his age specifically, so i think we can just live with the ambiguity of whatever timeline we are comfortable with.

i personally think it's been a few years at least. if not, shiv and tom's marriage would have lasted what, six, seven months? rude.

after shiv's phone call with tom, the kids start realizing that logan is planning to buy PGM (again), and they immediately back out of the business venture they have been planning for the last few months.

and the award for most delusional goes to kendall for this comment:

roman is the only one that's not into buying up a dying media conglomerate because he is a girlboss. he's really the only one who wants to build up a new company from scratch and i'm so proud of him.

what a journey we roman fans have been on. truly.

logan takes his best pal, colin, on a date, and we realize, once again, that logan respects the people who work for him more than he ever will his children, because his children have been given everything all their lives.

logan does a whole "is there anything after death" shakespearean monologue and the odds that he will die by the end of this season are forever in our favor. this pleases me:)

connor wants to use his wedding as a political stunt, which makes me think the timeline of this season will be super short. will all the episodes take place during the ten days leading up to the election?

seems strange, given that they travel to norway, but it's an interesting thought.

greg has sex in the guest room and logan has CCTV. or at least tom wants greg to believe he does. anyway, i don't really want to get into it. poor bridget.

gerri, it seems, is still out in the cold after the dickpick ordeal. truly destabilizing to see our queen on shaky ground, but also good for her that she gives less of a fuck, leaving karl to look like this:

perfection. he is and will always be a true foodie.

anyway, logan doesn't take the news that his kids also want to buy pierce well.

on the west coast (in napa?), nan is truly weaponizing her liberal image and the whole "i'm just an old lady who doesn't understand capitalism"-vibe.

it's a sight to be seen.

roman, of course, sees right through her.

but it doesn't really matter, because the roy kids are too occupied with waging war on their father to notice they are getting played.

and to think i'm lowkey rooting for this idiots...

greg doesn't want to see what happens in guantanamo and leaves dealing with random-fuck to colin, the one true hero of this show.

gerri is straight up not having a good time.

we need to save her.

the kids offer up 10 bill for PGM. it feels extremely rushed and stupid and driven by revenge, but i'm glad to know roman knows how many zeros there are in a billion.

someone get him to new york asap so he can show gerri.

the kids win the bid and logan is not happy:

this is the look of a girl who needed a win. bless her heart.

because eventually, shiv goes back to new york and has to face tom, the traitor, disguisting boy from st. paul who wants her to talk....

... and if you know anything about being emotionally repressed, you'd know that is absolutely not an option.

so they lie there for a bit and hold hands and all of a sudden i realize that this stupid show has done it again. they made me care about a bunch of terrible, rich people. AGAIN.

i hate you, jesse armstrong, i really do.

during the last scene, we get one of the best lines of the episode:

logan is at home, alone, watching ATN and calling cyd to complain. i honestly can't tolerate cyd slander. that being said, i do hope we get a war of the networks between ATN and PGM moving forward.

if you stayed with me for this entire recap, congrats. you're just as demented as i am.

for next weeks episode, i need more gerri. i bet you are all surprised to hear that.

[fxstpace]

nice boys don’t kiss like that

summary: when your former rival chances upon your diary and reads all the unpleasant things you’ve written about him, he takes it upon himself to change your mind.

pairing: kim mingyu x fem!reader genres: fluff, developing relationship!au, rivals to lovers!au, pining, kind of suggestive? idk word count: 3.3k

↳ warnings: profanity, making out ↳ a/n: inspired by this scene from bridget jones’s diary. reposted from my old account.

It is on a twilit Saturday evening, at precisely 7:01 P.M, that Kim Mingyu is accosted by a notebook for the first time in his life.

He lets out a startled grunt and finds himself with an armful of things—a denim jacket, a crumpled grocery shopping list, an empty box of Tic Tacs, a woollen beanie with a questionable brown stain he thinks is ketchup; all presumably from whatever depths of your drawer he can see you hunched over, searching for something that remains stubbornly elusive. The offensive projectile whizzes past his shoulder and lands on the polished wooden floor with a thud.

Mingyu stands at the doorway to your bedroom, having bypassed the living room and hallway that leads to the kitchen in favour of pressing heated kisses to your cheeks and collarbones. He watches you, bemused. A few weeks ago, he might’ve laughed at your frazzled state with derision. Now, he still wants to laugh, but more in an affectionate way.

You turn around swiftly, nearly tripping on a stray stocking on the floor, and he bites back a smile when you mumble a string of curse words under your breath. 

“Hi,” you say, breathing heavily. “I’m really sorry.”

Then you slam the door shut on his face.

Well, Mingyu thinks. This is the first time a girl’s closed the door when I’m in her apartment.

Faced with nothing else to do except wait for your arrival, he drops the Tic Tac box on the floor, hangs your jacket and beanie on the back of the sofa, and almost stubs his toe on the corner of the notebook.

Wincing at the close call, Mingyu glares at the book like it’s the cause of all his troubles. DIARY, it reads, embossed in ornate gold letters. The cover is a rich shade of red, rough and leather-bound. He picks it up; it’s rather heavy, and judging by the frayed corners and the random bits of paper poking out of the sides, it seems to be quite old too. Regardless, it is well-cherished—he knows this because he knows you, and you’re the kind of person who wears your heart on your sleeve.

Which is why he knows opening it is a bad idea. 

Mingyu shrugs and places the book on the coffee table, taking a seat on the plush, olive green sofa opposite it. He leans his elbows on his knees and interlaces his fingers under his chin. From the inside of your room, he can hear muffled screaming—should he be worried? The screaming stops. Mingyu lets his tense shoulders relax.

His eyes zero in on your diary once more. He shouldn’t open it—he really, really shouldn’t. It would be a horrible breach of your privacy. Your trust in him would be broken forever, and even if he somehow manages to win it back, it will always be a stain in the fabric of your still-developing relationship.

But.

One tiny peek can’t hurt, right? He’s only waiting for you to come out of your room, after all. Just one little look, and then he’ll close the book immediately. It can’t possibly hurt. Curiosity is both a blessing and a vice, he figures, and since he’s already stacked up on vices, there is no harm in adding to his karmic points.

So he picks up your diary and flips to a random page, freezing momentarily when he hears an irritated grunt and the sound of something hitting the floor from inside your room. Your handwriting is a lot messier than it usually is; you probably save your best penmanship for official things, and your personal diary is not one of them. That, or you were just frustrated.

12th June I fucking hate Kim Mingyu. I hope I never have to see him and his stupid handsome obnoxious face EVER AGAIN. I’m so DONE with him.

Mingyu’s cheeks prickle with heat. He’s thoroughly invested now. He turns to another page.

14th June Ran into KMG again today. He spilled coffee all over me what else is new but. he actually apologised!!! Crazy. Maybe he was just in a good mood. Either way, my new blouse is ruined so fuck him.

The strangest thing is that Mingyu actually remembers that day vividly. You were wearing a gorgeous cream-coloured blouse, and he was so caught up in staring at you talking animatedly with your supervisor that he zoned out completely and accidentally spilled his coffee on you because he tripped over his shoelaces. Now, knowing that your blouse was new at the time brings up a slight twinge of guilt. He’ll ask you about it later.

22nd June KMG is actually…… kinda nice? He supported me in the meeting today with the clients when they were being so tiresome. He has a nice smile I guess.

Mingyu smiles widely. 

23rd June Nevermind. I take back everything I said. Kim Mingyu is a prat with zero social skills. I mean, would it kill him to say hello back??? I get that he’s busy but i thought we’d made progress. One thing is for sure. Kim Mingyu is NOT nice. Not even a little bit.

His smile falters.

The next page contains a similar anecdote—something about how he always vehemently disagrees with everything you say, and how despite his good looks he was a complete and utter asshole. Further investigation reveals the same thing: you hate Kim Mingyu with a burning passion.

And… Well, he couldn’t lie and say the feeling wasn’t mutual at one point in time—but it has mellowed down since then, gently and slowly, like a fallen leaf being carried by a soft wind. There came a day where Mingyu found himself glaring at you, not with disdain in his eyes, but with a steady thrum in his chest where his heart lay. Later, he would realise that he didn’t hate you—not even a little bit.

He assumed you felt the same way. Why else would your smirks, so full of malice, melt into grins that could light up a whole town? Why else would you agree to go on a date with him when he asked you out, one day, after work, tripping over his words like an elementary schoolboy? Why else would you invite him home and ask him to spend the night?

Of course, it doesn’t explain why you’ve locked yourself up in your bedroom currently (frankly, he’s a bit befuddled about that). But the sentiment must still be there.

It’s a diary, he reasons. 

It’s your diary, his brain screams back, and that’s the real issue here, isn’t it?

Diaries are full of crap, anyway, he thinks to himself.

Diaries contain the Real Thoughts And Emotions of a human being, his brain hollers back.

Mind swirling, Mingyu closes the book and places it back on the coffee table, barely aware of his movements. Have you been lying to him? No, there’s absolutely no way—he trusts you far more than that, and besides, what would you even lie to him about? There are no benefits to stringing him along, and you’re not the kind of person who would do something like that, anyway.

You must have had a change of heart, then. That’s the only conclusion he can think of. Your diary entries come to a standstill after 27th June, which means you haven’t opened it in a while. It’s also around the same time you stopped picking fights with each other. Something must have changed by then; Mingyu is glad it did.

Satisfied with his deduction, Mingyu stuffs his hands in his pockets and crosses his ankles together. Behind your bedroom door, you remain suspiciously silent. He considers knocking on the door once to make sure you’re okay—or if you need any help, because staying put inside your room for over twenty minutes is certainly not normal when you have a guest and potential boyfriend over. 

Almost as if you’ve heard his thoughts, the door to your room swings open. You stand at the doorway, breathing heavily.

“Hey,” Mingyu says, quickly standing up. “Everything good?”

You beam at him. “Perfect. Sorry to have kept you waiting, I—”

Your gaze drops to the coffee table, landing on your diary. Mingyu keeps his gaze fixed on you. You look back at him, lips parted. 

“Um,” you begin. “It’s— It’s just a diary.”

“Clearly.” Mingyu fights back a smile.

You chew your bottom lip nervously. “Did you read it?”

“I did,” he confirms, nodding. “I’m sorry. I was just curious—”

You groan, lifting your hands and covering your face with your palms. “Fuck.”

Mingyu reaches out and encircles your wrists with his fingers, gently tugging your hands away from your face. He finds it oddly endearing. “It’s only a diary. I’m sorry I read it. I shouldn’t have.”

“I don’t care about that. You… you probably read all the horrible, mean things I wrote about you.”

“Well,” he says, shrugging a little, “some of the entries were definitely… interesting.”

You blink. Unable to help himself, Mingyu drops a light kiss to the tip of your nose.

“I don’t hate you, you know,” you tell him.

“Mhm.”

“I’m serious.”

“Mhm.”

“Mingyu.”

“I’ll tell you what I think about your diary later, ‘kay?” he says, hooking his pinkie finger with yours. “Come with me.”

“What? Where?” Confusion paints your features.

Mingyu huffs out a laugh. “Just trust me.”

Mingyu places the brand-new diary he’d bought for you on the dining table with a flourish. “D’you have a pen?”

You eye him suspiciously, gaze darting between him and the new, dark green notebook on the table. He grins, carefree and indulgent. Still wary, you hand him a blue ballpoint pen from the pen stand placed above the drawers to the left. He hums and uncaps it.

Flipping open the book to the first page, he bends down and writes slowly.

This book belongs to Kim Mingyu and

Mingyu stops writing and holds the pen out expectantly to you. “Here. Write your name.”

Confused, but curious, you oblige. Your name, written in your handwriting, next to his own semi-legible scrawl, makes a warm, affectionate feeling bubble up inside his chest. He wonders what it would look like when both your names are signed next to each other on a marriage certificate. Then, he wonders when and where your wedding would take place. A summer wedding sounds nice, but the sweltering heat might be a bit of a problem. Winter weddings are beautiful for sure, but neither of you is a big fan of the cold.

He’s in the process of thinking of names for your children and pet dog when you break him out of his daze. 

“Hey. What’s all this about, hm?” You nudge his shoulder lightly with yours.

Mingyu says, “It’s a diary, but for both of us.”

You glance at him, eyebrows raised questioningly. He swings an arm over your shoulder and draws you closer to him, smiling when flyaway strands of your hair tickle his cheek. 

“In your old diary, it was pretty obvious you, uh, didn’t like me much,” he explains, holding up his free hand when you open your mouth to protest. “I don’t blame you. We were assholes to each other most of the time. But we’ve moved past that. At least, I hope we have.”

Your reply is instantaneous. “Of course. Of course, we have.”

Mingyu trails his fingers absent-mindedly over your arm. “Right. And… It’s kind of silly, I guess—I don’t know—but I thought—if we kept a new diary together, one that we could use to document our journey, with both our perspectives in the same place—I thought it would be nice.”

Your mouth parts and you look at him, an indiscernible expression on your face. He shifts from one foot to the other, feeling suddenly nervous. You don’t betray any hint of emotion on your face, but Mingyu’s heart hammers inside his chest. What if you think he’s being silly and overly sentimental? What if you find the idea ridiculous?

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he quickly backtracks. “I know we’ve only just moved past the idea of being more than friends, but—” He stops himself.

“But…?” you gently prompt him, twisting around to see him better.

Mingyu swallows. “But I can’t imagine not being with you.”

He hears your sharp intake of breath, and in the next moment, the breath is knocked out of his lungs when you throw your arms around his neck and pull him in for a tight, rib-squeezing hug.  Automatically, his arms circle your waist, and he presses a light, barely-there kiss to the junction of your neck and jaw. 

Eyes shining happily, you pull back slightly with a wide grin on your face. “You’re so hopelessly romantic, it makes my chest hurt.”

“Consider this your trial run. If you don’t like it, I’ll stop.”

“Don’t you dare.”

He sighs, content. “Okay, I won’t.”

“What should our first diary entry be about?” you ask, loosening your hold on him.

“About how you ditched me inside your house for almost half an hour after you invited me over.” He’s only half-joking.

You look away, embarrassed and sheepish. “I can explain.”

“I’m sure you can.”

“I’m being serious, Mingyu.”

“So you’ve said,” he agrees breezily.

“Actually,” you begin, a tad shy, “I was thinking it could be about this—about how you bought us a diary and then kissed me in front of the dining table after we christened the book.”

Mingyu’s eyes widen, but before he can get a word in edgewise, your lips are already centimetres away from his. “May I?” you whisper.

“Yeah. ‘Course,” he murmurs back.

The kiss makes him feel dizzy, like he’s had one too many bottles of soda—fizzy and light-headed. Your lips are soft, mouth warm; you taste like chocolate, and he licks into your mouth desperately. His fingers dig into your waist, bunching up the material of your t-shirt, and you run your hand through his hair, tugging gently. He’s kissed you before, of course, but something about this time feels important, a core memory sort of thing. Later that night, he’ll sit beside you on your bed and watch as you write in your shared diary, and he’ll make fun of the way you chew on your pen cap when you’re thinking of what to write next and you’ll shut him up with a kiss.

But for now, he indulges himself whole-heartedly. You let out little gasps which he swallows with his mouth. He tilts his head and kisses you deeper. Only when his lungs are burning does he pull away, and even then, not without a parting peck to the space in between your eyebrows.

“Mingyu,” you say, breathless. 

“Yeah?” he responds, unable to tear his gaze off of your kiss-bitten lips.

“I really am sorry about what I wrote about you,” you apologise, looking down once and then back at him. “It’s only a diary—everyone knows diaries are full of crap.”

“I know.” Mingyu smiles tenderly. “I’m not mad.”

“You should be. I would be, if I was in your place.”

His eyes dart back to meet yours, and he grimaces. “If you really think about it, I’m the one who should be apologising, not you. I shouldn’t have read your diary, no matter how curious I was.”

“I… don’t really care about that, weirdly enough,” you say thoughtfully. “I was more worried about the fact that you thought I hated you and you were gonna leave me. Not so much about you reading the diary itself.”

“Pfft,” Mingyu says, affectionately condescending. “If I left you, where would I go?”

Your mouth parts as you stare at him, dumbfounded. “Jesus. How do you say things like that unironically?”

“I could compose whole sonnets about you and it wouldn’t be enough.”

“That’s ironic, I hope.”

He tilts his head and pulls you close. “Only one way to find out.”

When he captures your lips with his this time, it’s with colliding bodies and biting teeth. He runs his tongue across your bottom lip, and you shudder in his arms, moaning. Somehow, you stumble back into the living room, a mess of tangled limbs.

Briefly pulling away, Mingyu sits down on the same sofa he’d occupied earlier and clumsily pulls you onto his lap. You brace your hands on his shoulders for support, lifting your head up when he presses an open-mouthed kiss to your jaw.

“Fuck, Mingyu,” you gasp, eyes falling shut.

He hums against your skin. “Tell me what you were doing in your room for so long.”

“I was—ah—it’s embarrassing.”

Mingyu stops his movements. “I won’t judge you.”

“I know,” you say, teeth worrying your lower lip. “I’ll tell you someday.”

When you purse your lips, ready for him to kiss you again, Mingyu lets out a soft laugh. “Sweetheart.”

“What?” 

“I think I need to correct some of your… perceptions of me,” he murmurs, rubbing his hands up and down your back.

You furrow your eyebrows. “What?”

“I’m sorry about your blouse,” he whispers. “You looked really pretty wearing it, you know. Got distracted. Couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

“Mingyu, I don’t know what you’re talking—” You gasp when he kisses the column of your throat.

“I’m sorry for being obnoxious,” he continues, lowering his head and pressing his lips to the pulse point on your neck. “But I’m not sorry you think I’m handsome.”

“Only your face,” you mutter, but you tug on his hair to get him to tilt his head up. When he does, you kiss him again, your hands warm and placed on the junctions where his neck meets his shoulders. 

“I’ll support you in more than just meetings,” he says, pulling back. His breath ghosts over your lips, prompting a shiver to pass through your body. Your eyes widen when you finally, finally realise what he’s talking about. “I’ll tell those stupid clients to shut up and take it.”

You laugh, bright and happy, and Mingyu wants to bottle the sound up greedily. “That sounds kinda wrong,” you say.

He shrugs, his smile turning lopsided. “I’m sorry for ignoring you when you said hi to me. I won’t do it ever again.”

You laugh again, teeth flashing in the warm glow of the living room lights.

There’s an odd feeling in Mingyu’s chest—something warm and golden—something he can only describe as being terribly, hopelessly lovesick for you.

He whispers your name again, kissing the corner of your mouth. “Tell me what you were doing in your room for so long.”

You groan again, your previous amusement turning into embarrassment. Your next words are muffled by his shoulder, your lips warm against his clavicle as you mumble something only you can understand.

“What’s that? I couldn’t hear you,” Mingyu says mischievously.

 Another sound of mortification.

“I won’t laugh,” he says. “Promise.”

“Underwear,” you mumble, just loud enough for him to hear. “I was searching for a better pair of underwear than the one I had on.”

To his credit, Mingyu really doesn’t laugh. It takes a lot of effort, though, and he has to bite the inside of his cheek to prevent his giggles from escaping. 

You lean back and narrow your eyes at him. “Oh, go on. I know you’re dying to laugh.”

He shakes his head, cheeks blown out like a pufferfish. You stare at him quietly.

Minutes later, he exhales shakily. “See? I didn’t laugh. I’m a nice guy.”

His lips find yours again, slower and more languorous this time. After all, he has all the time in the world now—to hold you like this, kiss you gently—and he plans to cherish each second. Your tongue swipes his lower lip, and he parts his mouth willingly. He feels like putty underneath you, as he uses one of his hands to cup your face and deepen the kiss. Your lips move against his, already familiar, but he could never stop craving it.

When you pull back to breathe, your eyes are wide and your lips are swollen—a fact that Mingyu notes with pride.

“Nice boys don’t kiss like that,” you breathe out.

“Oh, yes, they fucking do.”

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Random Descendants Incorrect quotes

(with ships)

Queen of Hearts: Why are you drinking, Red?

Red: I don’t drink anymore, so don’t start with that.

Queen of Heart, holding an empty water bottle: So why was this under your bed?

Red: WE NEED WATER TO LIVE!

Queen of Hearts: NOT IN MY DAMN HOUSE!

(such a great mother)

---

Red: If a demon possessed me, I’d just be like, “Okay, take it from here, good luck man.”

(fr)

---

Dizzy: Truth or dare?

Chloe: Truth!

Dizzy : Do you-

Red: I dare you to kiss me.

Chloe: *kisses Red*

Dizzy, to Celia: They said “truth”, right?

(pretty sure it was a dare 👀)

---

Chloe: So you like cats?

Red: Yeah.

Chloe: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

(Chloe is jealous of Earl getting Red's attention. Context here)

---

Celia: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Maddox: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Dizzy: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Chloe: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Chad: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Red: I have emotional scars.

(that's Chad in college)

---

Ben: Hey, what have you two been up to?

Carlos: We were helping Evie write their vows, but they kicked us out because Jay was making inappropriate suggestions.

Jay: How is "Mal, I love your sweet ass” inappropriate?

(why kick Carlos out tho 😪)

---

Uma: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees?

Mal: Bees?

Uma: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!

Mal: Wait-

*Harry approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

(yeah. Ouch)

---

Mal, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Jay: Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Jay: Here you go.

Mal:

Jay:

Ben: Why am I here?

(damn-)

---

Merlin: Fay, you'll be working with Maleficent and Hades.

Fay: Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

Fay: ...Of people on a team.

(I understand lol)

---

Morgie: *Takes a sip of milk and gags*

Morgie: Oh my god, is this expired?

Morgie: *Takes another sip of milk*

(Morgie why are you so relatable)

---

Mal: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Ben: That's great, Mal. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

(Canon)

---

*Bridget sneezes*

Ella: Bridget, are you sick? Here, let me wrap you in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup while singing you a lullaby!

*Charming sneezes*

Ella: Oh my god. Shut the hell up.

(Yuh)

---

Bridget: I eat cheerios because they’re heart healthy.

Bridget: And my heart has been severely damaged, so Ella, if you’re out there—

(This makes me imagine that Bridget confessed her feelings to Ella at Castlecoming, Ella took it well but doesn't feel the same and also avoids Bridget while at the dance. Bridget was heartbroken but accepted it, then she got turned into a monster. Ella has been avoiding her and didn't go to help. I don't know how feelings work lol. You make it make sense)

---

Chloe: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Red: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Chloe: That one. I want that one.

(let's hope the caterpillar wasn't smoking)

---

Mal: Do you always have to attack me with your words?

Audrey: Would you prefer me to use a brick?

(oop)

---

*The Squad is on the bus, and a child is crying*

Uliana: *rolls eyes to the sky*

Bridget: *makes funny faces to get them to stop*

Hades: *puts their earphones on at 100% volume*

Hook: *doesn't mind, doesn't bother*

Morgie: *is the reason they're crying*

Maleficent: *enjoys in silence*

(Morgie accidentally scared the child)

---

*when a child starts crying in public*

Charming: *tries to make the child laugh*

Tiana: *tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down*

Fay: *gives detailed instructions to the parents*

Ella: *ignores the child*

Jaladdin: *is the reason why the child is crying*

(I'm the baby. And that reason is valid)

---

Fay, entering Maleficent room: Hades did it again.

Maleficent: Peace disturbance?

Fay: What no-

Maleficent: Arson..?

Fay: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-

Maleficent: uh....Attempted murder?

Fay: NO, THEY ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-

(Yeah they live together. So what?)

---

Fay: Can I bother you for a second?

Hades: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

(Yeh. Basically)

---

The end of the beginning.

I'm tired so I shall sleep 😪.

I wanted to add more but I shall post it now already.

Ok byeee

[moshpitgamma]

My Sunflower|| John Dory x Fiancé!Reader

Warnings:Angst+Fluff

(This is my first real fanfic so Plss don’t be TOO harsh)

YALL ITS LONG OK😭

——————————————————————

“John! I’m home!” Said the exhausted troll walking through the door of their shared apartment. “Huh? Damn it’s 9pm.” Y/n said checking the time. “Hun, You here?” They screamed again wondering why their fiancé wasn’t answering. When they didn’t get a response they started to get anxious, but convinced themselves he went to either the studio or to hang out with his brothers.

The clock finally hits 11:03pm and still there isn’t a sign of JD. “Why isn’t he answering his phone?” You said with worry laced in your voice. His brothers also didn’t answer their phones for god knows what. Now you’re in full panic mode pacing back and forth in the dining room blowing UP his phone with messages and calls. After your many failed attempts of contacting him you finally decided to call the only person you KNEW that was gonna pick up. So you called his grandma.

Once she answered you tried to hide your anxiousness and your panicked voice, but she caught on to it quickly. “Hi Mrs. Rosie, do you know where John is? I haven’t spoke to him since this morning before I went to work.” You asked frantically hoping that she would cure the pulsating adrenaline going through your body. When you finished your nauseating questions the silence you both held was fueling it like you were going to burst. When the never ending silence finally came to an end a sigh was heard. "Hun Bun….JD left hours ago after their embarrassing show fail." she told you with reassurance and empathy. She then continued to tell you how and what happened between the brothers. The last thing you ever heard from her was “Sweetie just give it time.” So you waited…

And waited….

And waited….

Until 20 years have passed and still no sign of John. You were invited to the royal wedding of King Grisel and Bridget and was currently trying to find a dress. While rampaging you closet like a mad woman you come across and unfamiliar bagged dress. When you took it out you stared at it with tears welling up in your eyes. It was your dress he proposed to you in. It was admired in jewels and yellow sunflower like petals and soft like satin and silk. It was one of a kind. Your debating stopped instantly and you proceeded to put on the dress.

FAST FORWARD TO WEDDING :>

“We are gathered here today t-.” “STOP THE WEDDING!” A random voice yelled…

You felt like your heart was going to jump out your chest from all the adrenaline rushing. Trying to force your tears down you finally built enough courage to turn around and look to where everyone else was looking. When you finally saw who it was your tears finally escaped their haunted and sorrowful chamber. He was there……

Standing in front of Branch?

Trying to pick him up?

You didn’t wanna get noticed in this state so you turned to leave but you felt a hand grab your flushed smaller ones. It was Branch..”Are you ok?”he asked knowing you weren’t. “I’m ok.” You said quickly dismissing his attempts of comfort. Before you could leave you heard a nickname you never knew you would hear again. “My sunflower?” He must’ve felt the tension he created so he hurried to you and begged you too listen to his explanations and excuses. You couldn’t do nothing, BUT listen so you gave him 3 minutes. “The reason I left was because Brozone was turning into a disaster and I needed to just space myself away for a while!”

You didn’t know whether to be mad or sad or HELL even glad but you knew he was trying to get you to understand. “But did you have to go?” Tears welling up..

Silence…….

“Did you have to leave me alone without telling me ANYTHING?!!?”

“I-“ you didn’t let him finish before you started walking off letting the emotions and realization sink in. He knew he fucked up… He couldn’t let you leave…. He needed his flower…He ran up to you and hugged you as hard as he could to prevent you from leaving and cried like hell was dragging him away from the heaven he created with you. “Sunflower PLEASE, I promise I’ll never leave you again!!” He repeated like his life depended on it. You slowly started to give in and soothed him. “Please Hun, I promise I’ll pro-“ He couldn’t even get done with his sentence before feeling the feeling he oh so missed….

Your lips…

“Please Don’t leave me again.” You said barely above a whisper and your teary E/C eyes looked at him.

He smiled warmly and responded with nothing but sincerity..”Of course not my sunflower.”

THE ENDDDDDDD☺️🫶🏿

[madame-mortician]

Random Evil Dead Fun Facts!

Because I'm hyperfixated on it :P

Originally, Ash was supposed to lose an eye in Army of Darkness, but this was scrapped.

Currently Evil Dead (2013) has the most fake blood used in a film, with 50,000 gallons being used. This isn't that suprising considering that during the final 10 minutes of the film, it is raining blood non-stop.

Freddy Krueger's glove is in the workshed in Evil Dead 2. This is a reference to how in A Nightmare on Elm Street, Nancy watched The Evil Dead. Ironically, that was a nod to how Wes Craven's "The Hills have Eyes" poster was in The Evil Dead. That in turn was a nod to how in The Hills have Eyes a torn Jaws poster is seen on the walls. Very confusing easter egg.

Ironically, Ash actually does say the correct words during the Necronomicon scene in Army of Darkness, but it's hard to hear due to Bruce Campbell coughing his way through it, which sounds like something Ash would do honestly.

Speaking of that scene in Army of Darkness, it is actually established that Ash isn't good at remembering phrases, shown by the scene in The Evil Dead, where Ash tries to recite a greek quote but fucks it up.

Evil Dead Rise confirms that the original trilogy takes place in the same universe as the remake and Evil Dead Rise. For one, they confirm there are three volumes of the Necronomicon, being the ones seen in Army of Darkness. The first Necronomicon, Necronomicon Ex-Mortis, was found by Prof. Knowby and read by Ash and his friends. The second book, Naturom Demonto, is the one Mia found in her family cabin and the final one, also named Naturom Demonto, is the one locked in the bank vault in Evil Dead Rise.

Each deadite in Evil Dead Rise has different eyes referencing the older ones. Ellie has unique silver eyes, Bridget and the neighbours have golden yellow eyes (like in the 2013 film) and Danny has pupilless white eyes (like in the original trilogy.)

The character names in Evil Dead (2013) start with letters that spell the word "DEMON" (David, Eric, Mia, Olivia and Natalie.)

Similarly, the building in Evil Dead Rise, the Monde, is an anagram for Demon as well.

A reocurring theme in the Evil Dead films, is a sister getting possessed and tormenting their sibling. This is shown with Cheryl and her brother Ash, Mia and her brother David, Ellie and her sister Beth and Bridget and her siblings Danny and Kassie.

All the characters in Evil Dead Rise are named after actors from the Evil Dead films, which I elaborate on here.

Originally Army of Darkness was named "Medieval Dead."

The original ending of Army of Darkness showed Ash waking up in a post-apocolyptic future, but it was changed to the more optimistic ending. Despite both Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell preferring the original ending, the redone ending was used to continue the story with Ash VS Evil Dead.

The original ending was also supposed to lead into Evil Dead 4, where Ash would've fought deadites in the future with robots and other futuristic tropes, but because the ending was changed this never happened. Ironically, the same thing happened to Ash VS Evil Dead, when Season 3 ended on a cliffhanger so that the next season could be in the post-apocalyptic future, but this too was cancelled.

The German version of Army of Darkness incorporates both endings. It starts with the deleted ending, where Ash incorrectly takes 7 drops instead of 6, but as he sleeps it cuts to black and says Ash began dreaming over the centuries. Then it cuts to the regular ending where Ash is in the supermarket and is hailed as a hero before cutting back to him waking up in the post-apocalyptic future. Ironically this is my favourite ending, but it's not-canon.

Evil Dead (2013) had a bunch of different endings before settling on the, supposedly, canon one. One ending had Mia simply leave and the film ends, another had her go to leave before being jumped by a demon (like in The Evil Dead's ending), another had her collapse on the road and get rescued only to reveal she was still possessed and another had her go to leave but start floating before she exploded. The canon one is likely the theatrical ending where she simply walks away, and since we never see Mia again we have nothing to confirm or deny this.

The Abomination from Evil Dead (2013) is inspired by the poster of The Evil Dead, which depicts a woman being dragged into a grave. The Abomination even does the same pose when it rises.

Speaking of The Evil Dead posters, the promo images for The Evil Dead, showed Bruce Campbell and Bridget Hoffman being attacked by a skeleton prop, and defending themselves with a chainsaw. Despite being in all the promotional images and being on the literal cover, Bridget Hoffman was not in the film, though it's likely she is supposed to be a stand-in for Linda. She also played a cameo role as a sword fighter in Army of Darkness, and the voice of the Lori doll in Ash VS Evil Dead.

In The Evil Dead originally it was written that the characters would be smoking weed whilst listening to the tapes, perhaps as a way to explain why they would willingly play the tape, and as a way to rationalise the characters dumb decisions for the rest of the film. This however, was scrapped when the actors did smoke weed for the shot, but got too high and became uncontrollable.

The opening shot of The Evil Dead was filmed by Sam Raimi who stood on a boat, whilst Bruce Campbell pushed him along.

One of the demon passages in The Evil Dead translates to "Sam and Rob are the hikers on the road" a reference to the fact that the two hitchhikers at the start of the film are literally Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert.

During The Evil Dead, a cameraman slipped and dropped his camera onto Bruce Campbell's face, which caused several of his teeth to fall out.

Apparently during filming for Evil Dead 2, after one of the slapstick scenes Bruce Campbell heard somebody making funny noises above him and thought they were making fun of his performance, only for it to turn out that guy got electrocuted. I say apparently because even though Campbell said this himself, he could've been kidding.

Originally the idea with Evil Dead (2013) was that it would get a sequel, similar to Evil Dead 2 but with Mia, and then Ash's story would get a sequel with Army of Darkness 2, and then a third sequel would be made that would have Mia and Ash's stories merge and have the two characters meet, explaining the random after-credits scene in 2013. For some reason they never made the sequel to Evil Dead (2013) and the sequel to Army of Darkness was scrapped for Ash VS Evil Dead instead. The 2013 sequel was replaced with Evil Dead Rise, and Bruce Campbell has since retired as Ash in live-action.

In Japan, Army of Darkness is called "Captain Supermarket" probably being in reference to how Ash works in retail.

So far Evil Dead Rise is the only Evil Dead film without Ash's yellow delta, though apparently the chainsaw used by Beth is the same exact colour as the delta, being a double-reference.

Speaking of the delta, Ash's car appears in Evil Dead (2013), sitting abandoned in front of the cabin. It is most likely just an easter egg and has no lore implications.

Mia and David are half-siblings with different fathers. Originally it was intended for Mia to be Ash's daughter, but this was changed by Raimi. Ironically Ash did end up getting a daughter in the TV show.

Speaking of, Mia was supposed to appear in Ash VS Evil Dead, but it’s likely she wouldn’t have fit since her movie and experience was way darker than Ash’s, and she wouldn’t fit the tone.

The canonical reason Evil Dead (2013) is so similar to The Evil Dead is because the Necronomicon can cause history to repeat itself and likely lured the 5 friends to the cabin (which could also explain why some of the randoms are even here). This is why the 5 characters play very similar roles to the original film, Eric is Scotty, Natalie is Linda, Olivia is Shelly, and David is Ash whilst Mia is Cheryl. The reason Mia survives instead of David, and becomes more like Ash in the finale is likely that when David saved Mia, which Ash failed to do with Cheryl, the Necronomicon decided David should die and Mia should take Ash's role instead. It's also possible that David took the role of Annie in the finale, with him helping before being killed last second, but this is a bit of a stretch.

Bruce Campbell has two cameos in Evil Dead Rise. First is his voice being heard on the first tape Danny plays, where he plays a priest yelling “It’s called the Book of the Dead for a reason!” The second is simply the biting noises when Ellie bites Gabriel’s eye out, being Bruce Campbell furiously biting an apple.

Lee Cronin (Writer/Director of Evil Dead Rise) stated that Bruce Campbell’s cameo was intended to actually be Ash Williams himself. His reasoning was that Ash has found himself in the wrong time period a lot, and it would make sense for a time-displaced Ash to try and get rid of the Necronomicon in the past, before shit hits the fan.

Chet Kaminski was invited by Ash to go with them to the cabin. He chose not to come because Cheryl was also going and he didn’t want Ash to find out he was dating his sister as he feared it would end their friendship. This ultimately ended up saving his life.

In the Evil Dead films, the only characters to be possessed after they died were Scotty, Eric, David, Danny and the neighbours (Evil Dead Rise).

Shelly is never mentioned ever again after The Evil Dead. Scotty is mentioned once, in Ash VS Evil Dead.

Whilst shooting the recap scenes in Evil Dead 2, originally it was intended to have The Evil Dead be more closely followed, with Scotty, Cheryl and Shelly being there with Ash and not just Linda. Sam Raimi himself was going to play Scotty, but it was scrapped in favour of it being only Linda. It’s this recap that led to many fans and viewers being confused and assuming Evil Dead 2 was a retcon or remake when it was not. They couldn’t simply use footage from The Evil Dead due to licensing issues.

[ineedtherapydesperately]

@valengory1234 you just sent me down an endless path imagining chloe speaking like shakespeare and being a shakespeare purist and shit like imagine the way she confessed to red or like flirts with red, or when she makes dirty jokes that nobody quite understands

like imagine chloe quietly confessing romeo and juliet style like but soft, what light through yonder window breaks? it is the east, and red is the sun. arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou, her maid, art far more fair than she all because red dragged them onto a random rooftop on auradon prep to stargaze?? and red is just laying there, staring at the moon in complete shock, slowly attempting to translate everything because what the fuck, was that shakespeare?? and holy shit chloe is such a nerd?? because red NEVER bothered to learn shakespeare but it's so familiar and she feels like that little monologue was important?? and chloe is sat there, looking down at red lovingly, straight cheesing as she watches the love of her life attempt to understand her words

i already headcanon bridget calling red 'rose', but imagine chloe calling red that because of shakespeare?? because the man LOVED using rose imagery to talk about love, and just imagine chloe saying like a rose by any other name would smell as sweet which leads me to another idea about glassheart/charminghearts that i may post later if anyone is interested

like imagine chloe just sees red one day and starts reciting sonnet 18 at her, just because?? shall i compare thee to a summer’s day? thou art more lovely and more temperate- and red is just here, steadily growing redder, face absolutely matching her name because chloe, isn’t that like a love poem??? and chloe is here like well yes, i am trying to confess to you here if you don’t mind

ugggh imagine chloe fondly watching red scale the walls of auradon prep, running along the rooftops which is absolutely against the code of conduct, but chloe can't find it in herself to care because it's red, because red, you draw me, you hard hearted adamant, but yet you draw not iron for my heart is true as steel. let's ignore how this is contextually where helena is crying to demetrius and pretend that it's just chloe lamenting quietly to herself about her (not so) unrequited crush <3

imagine chloe rereading much ado about nothing (because she would absolutely reread shakespearian plays) and when red asks her how the play is, chloe says i mean, i'd much rather there be some to do about your nothing and red is confused because that didn't make sense?? only it makes sense if you take elizabethan era slang into account, which chloe, face completely straight, suggests red searches up, only to burst into borderline maniacal giggles when red's face once more flushes horrendously because chloe what the actual fuck?! because this is so out of chloe's character??? whether this happens before or after they're dating is anyone's guess

@blood-carnation here you go :D i have so many more scenarios in my mind hehe (my english nerd is showing 😔)

[jaladdin]

sorry i’m thinking about morgan le fay and her connection to morgie and what it implies in the descendants universe again. sorry. like we can assume he inherited all of morgan’s powers because that’s what happens in descendants. but there’s so much emphasis on his shapeshifting—his ability to mimic animal cries, the serpentine line in “life is sweeter,” and the way he gets the shitty cgi snake eyes. and i am Looking

it makes me 🤔 about morgan le fay, shapeshifter by jill m. hebert, which dives deep into both the literal and metaphorical aspects of morgan’s shapeshifting over time. herbert writes that "morgan’s power in part comes from the fact that she always retains agency, choosing among multiple forms at will. as a marker of reform, she can also influence others to change their shapes, and so she often appears at points where a change or expansion of the limits of identity is required."

and so what if i said morgie’s shapeshifting isn’t just a silly guy power; it’s tied to the movie’s entire theme of identity and transformation and agency. in descendants 4, there’s a ton of focus on characters pushing the boundaries of who they are—like cinderella transforming into the “mystery princess” at castlecoming or bridget becoming this literal and metaphorical monster. morgie’s shapeshifting could be his version of that—a way to expand his identity from just “villain kid” to something more. maybe something softer, or maybe just something less Turbo Connected to uliana, but. Something

but ok then there’s the other side where morgie’s so desperate to gain uliana’s validation, and the world of auradon: royals and villains really drives that home: "morgie desperately wanted uliana to like and respect him. he was quick to compliment her and would do whatever she said." and that makes me wonder is morgie’s shapeshifting really about his own agency, or is it more about molding himself into whatever uliana wants? he literally performs animal cries for her to warn her when merlin is coming at her command. so in that way i sniff out if maybe his shapeshifting is actually a metaphor for losing himself—becoming whatever uliana wants him to be and not who he really is. if he even really knows. especially agiven it's pretty clear that to morgie, uliana is a surrogate for morgana, and it's her approval he really wants.

hebert talks about how morgan’s shapeshifting lets her defy societal and gender based expectations, saying, "morgan shapeshifts both literally and metaphorically as she confounds traditional social and gender expectations; her power in arthurian literature is generated by that very agency." for morgan, it’s all about control and breaking free from the roles others try to box her in. but for morgie maybe it’s the opposite.

and then there’s the Fucking Scene They Cut at the end of descendants 4 where morgie gets his hands on the sorcerer’s cookbook. bc to me that implies that he would be able to open it, otherwise why would they make a big deal out of him having it at all??? and if he’s able to open it, it means he’s starting to tap into his potential both in terms of magic and figuring out who he really is (in that he has no evil motivation of his own when uliana is not around to please). 

morgana le fay, shapeshifter also says, "morgan’s ability to change shape signifies her potential to evade and to resist the shape(s) that others—authors, critics, and characters—attempt to impose upon her." maybe morgie’s shapeshifting will end up being more than just a way to survive or gain approval—maybe it’ll be his way of resisting the expectations placed on him, just like his mother did, and discovering a softer, more authentic identity in the process.

anywa morgie’s shapeshifting isn’t just some random power they put in for fun and sillies. or maybe it is and i’m insane. it probably is this is disney's descendants. i don’t care. To Me it’s about identity and agency. while he might have inherited his mother’s abilities, how he uses—or is used by—his shapeshifting could define who he becomes. will he be like morgan, using it to carve out his own identity, or will he get lost in the roles others (coughs at uliana) want him to play? the way ror was so transformation focused makes me think that morgie’s story is Also one that’s going to fit that mold of shapeshifting���both in terms of who he is on the outside and who he’s trying to be on the inside.

also literally bc if i dont get to see morgie as a snake ill lose it. one of these fucking things

arent they so silly.

[thesharkwhalewhoohooooo]

Bridget x fem! Oc

This was requested on my WP

"Ella! Bitch wake the fuck up!" The girl groaned, but sat up in the hopes that it wasn't one of her stepsisters or mother.

"Fuck are you doing here?!" She whisper yelled back, looking wt the small window in her dusty attic room and back at Athene.

"I need you to stitch me up. And no worries I didn't stain the window." She eased Ella's concerns before she even had to talk.

"Oh, all right, do you have a kit with you or do I have to use some random thread?" Athene held up a small box with the stitching equipment inside, handing it to Ella and pulling off her blood stained blouse, revealing three large gashes along her chest and arm.

"What the fuck happened?!"

"I wanted to go see the night dwellers but one of them noticed me, on that note I have a night dweller now?" Ella shook her head with wide eyes, what even is a night dweller?!

"Come here you stupid idiot!"

"It's a dragon, stupider idiot."

"I'm not torn to shreds here!"

-

"Do not tell Bridget, she'll freak out and maybe get a heart attack, I can't have her be mad at me."  Ella rolled her eyes and nodded, the two of them walking into the courtyard.

"You could've just used magic."

"You know I can't use healing magic you-!" She was about to strangle Ella, but Bridget made her appearance and held onto Athene's hand.

"Hi sweetheart! How were the night dwellers?" Athene send a glare to Ella, but looked at Bridget with a smile.

"They were phenomenal, I even saw a sun dancer." Bridget gasped, coming to a halt and holding both of her hands with wide eyes.

"You saw a sun dancer? How amazing was she? What pattern? You have to take me next time!" Athene smiled at her and leaned in to kiss her lips, but winced and pulled back at the last second when Bridget put her hand on her chest.

"Baby?"

"Come sit down and eat lunch with us my heart, nothing would make me happier than to take you out to see the sun dancers."

"Stupid dragon geeks."

"Bridget isn't stupid"

-

"Are you teasing me?" Bridget eventually asked after a whole day of not being kissed.

"What? No, i'd never tease you, my precious." Bridget pouted and sat down on Athene's bed, watching as she turned around from her studies to face her.

"So why do you keep pulling away from kissing me? You're teasing me for something, and I want to know why." She huffed, crossing her arms and frowning.

"I'm not teasing you my dearest." Athene stood up and stepped closer to the princess, who looked up at her through lidded eyes.

"I wouldn't mind you teasing me a bit..." Bridget wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her closer and into her lap.

"This is not what I expected." Athene mumbled as she was pulled into a heated kiss, eventually being pressed into the mattress with Bridget straddling her waist.

She bit down on her lip to keep her wince in, Bridget looked down at her with narrowed eyes.

"Why do you keep wincing? Did someone hurt you?" She quickly shook her head, reaching up to grab Bridget's neck and pull her down into another kiss, slowly kissing down her neck in an attempt to distract her.

"Athene, what's wrong?" Bridget disconnected from Athene when she winced again, her hands at her collar.

"Nothing, I'm just a bit stressed for the upcoming test, and one those kids from Uliana's gang threw a chair at me again." Bridget frowned, fidgeting with her collar as she thought.

"Okay.... It's nothing more than a bruise, right?" Athene hurriedly nodded, resting her hands on her hips, smiling up at her.

"It is, nothing to worry about my heart." Bridget hummed, starting to unbutton the blouse she was fiddling with.

"Let's just go to sleep, i'm staying over." The witch held her hands, stopping her from unbuttoning it further, sitting upright, this time suppressing her pained twitch.

"I'll grab your pajamas, ho brush your teeth." She pecked her lips, dragging it out just long enough for her to melt into her arms.

"I love you sweetheart."

"I love you more, my heart."

-

The next morning, Athene woke up after Bridget, who was holding onto her tightly, her arms sealed around her waist, where was her shirt?

"You lied to me..." Bridget looked at her with teary eyes, one of her hands leaving from around her and ghosting along the stitches.

"My love, i'd never lie to you about serious things, but I thought you might not appreciate me appearing in the crack of dawn drenched in my blood." Bridget sat up with a gasp.

"You were drenched in blood?!"

"I wasn't! I was watching the night dwellers like I said I was, but one of them got a bit too aggressive and I tamed it and accidentally got injured whilst doing so!" She frowned, looking down at Athene with a pout.

"You should say that kinda stuff to me."

"And I will the next time this happens-."

"THERE WILL BE NO NEXT TIME!"



[endgameinthenorth]

What truly shocks me most is Greg's 180 shift around Tom. Gone are my doubts that Greg's merely putting up with Tom, not attracted to him or that Greg's actually straight. Amazingly, the more straight Greg tries to act the less I believe it.

I honest to God thought it would be more subtle in their shifted dynamics, but it's been a few months since the last episode and apparently Tom and Greg are occasionally out getting drinks together. Greg is being mentioned by Shiv like he's the other woman. Things have shifted more dramatically than I envisioned since we last saw them. I knew it was coming, it was teased in interviews that the power dynamic may be be shifting. Greg is going to be the one this season pushing Tom in the direction he wants.

We saw glimpses of it at the end of last season with Greg telling Tom to "prove it" when Tom said he fucks like a bullet train; Tom was out of his depth to respond. It was the most forthcoming and direct Greg had ever been in a scene. Almost like what he really wanted was shining through. We saw Greg casually call Tom, "Tommy" with a pat on the back just before he sold his soul to Tom. They seemed more at ease with one another, like Greg finally felt comfortable in his place at Tom's side.

And now the first thing we see of them this season is Greg greeting Tom by sliding up his body and in his personal space in every possible scene, whispering in his ear. He's more open, acting silly and smiling.

Bridget-Random-Fuck (who it sounds like didn't even make him cum) was just there by all appearances to get a jealous reaction out of Tom. She didn't have any status so it wasn't like he was climbing her on his way to a better conquest. She was another notch like the rest. So what's with all the posturing?

Last season, he speaks of falling head over heels for a woman and then has no true motivation and follow through. But he gushed to Tom all about her and got a visceral reaction out of him. Unfortunately Tom could not analyze his own emotions and deflected, stating Greg had ruined his mood but not knowing why.

In an interview with Nicholas Braun he hinted at Greg going to the "dark side" and how it was freeing for Greg to no longer feel restricted between what's right and wrong (gay dad causing you to repress?). By all appearances this so far has manifested as Greg being given permission to actually be more authentic with his feelings towards Tom. The women are just a necessary part and have an undercurrent of, "aren't I great - aren't you jealous?" He is in Tom's space, he wants Tom's approval. He wants Tom. He just needs to feel like he's allowed to... I imagine with the divorce eminent he feels closer to obtaining him. Perhaps Greg will be the unhinged one this season.

In season one when he asked if Tom was trying to seduce him and Tom said he was, that hair tuck bashful reaction? I don't think that was a coincidence — that was an intentional filming choice. Now I really truly see it.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

um. hi? so........random incorrect quotes guilty gear x reader part 2? please?

I like you Anon!

NOW! YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!!!

Baiken: Did it hurt when you fell- You: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt- Baiken: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs. You: … Baiken: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

-

Elphelt: Wow, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. You: We literally slept together yesterday. Elphelt: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

-

Giovana: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out! You: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way? Giovana: I don't know, surprise me!

-

Milia: I want to kiss you. You, not paying attention: What? Milia: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

-

You, talking about I-NO: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HER AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT!? SHE DID! SHE KISSED ME! WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO!!!

-

You: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Ramlethal: Wow. They sound stupid. You: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Ramlethal: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” You: I guess you’re right. Hey Ram, I love you. Ram: See! Just say that! You: Holy fucking shit. Ram: If that flies over their head then, sorry Jam, but they're too dumb for you. You, on the verge of dying of laughter: Ram!

-

You: I think I just figured something out. I got to go. Jam: Aren't you forgetting something? You: Uuh…*hesitantly kisses Jam's forehead before running out*. Jam: No! I mean yes that too, but pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

-

Bridget: We had a date!

*Bridget points aggressively at a coloring book*

-

Haeyun: If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you!

Neither of you die Haeyun: … You: … You: So, do you wanna talk about somethi— Haeyun: No, thank you!

[fand0mswithbunny]

this is so different from the other posts i do but fuck it. descendants 4: rise of red review, spoilers ofc, we still boycott disney's ass, pirate this movie like uma and her crew ate the intro of this movie instead of watching this from disney+

keep reading if youve seen it or dont care about spoilers but tldr: if you havent seen it and see this as a spin off movie instead of a 4th installment, i say go watch it. its basically how i feel about the 2024 mean girls movie, im just here for certain characters, dynamics and songs, and a bit of the actual plot, its fun but definitely not for everyone, i liked parts of the movie/plots tho

okay honestly overall, despite the fucking terrible rushed ass ending, i still honestly enjoyed a lot of aspects of this movie.

songs, generally i liked. yeah its all pop-y but yk, none of them were unbearable, i loop red, whats my name (red vers.) and love aint it what about it

the editing was. a choice at times. like it will cut at the most random moments and when red was being transported and fell from that. pipe. thing in the castle it was so. disney channel editing core LIKE OKAY I KNOWW OFC IT IS but grahhhhhHH

the cg was good, direction was. also a choice at times. idk how to explain it but it felt like every scene was being directed like a music video and not like a MOVIE esp the lighting oh my god idk what it is but its so GLOWY AND WEIRDD

the characters themselves, i love the main cast, red, chloe, ella, bridget, etc. were all cool. IM A FIRM RED/CHLOE SHIPPER THEY ARE GIRLFRIENDS IDC and i also liked the dynamic they have with their past moms it was nice

oh yeah i dont mind how they wrote mal, evie, jay, and ben outta the story, i mean they gotta explain their absence yk. and i loved the carlos tribute, you can tell china was genuinely not acting in that tribute scene.

the vks were. okay. i dont mind that literally every villain/princess/disney protag goes to high school. this whole series basically feature length fanfiction anyway, idc personally about that. its weird URSULAS SISTER was the main antagonist. like i get having a completely new villain aside from the vks parents or something but. ursulas. sister??? besides you could tell me shes ursula and ill believe you.

its nice seeing filipino prince charming thats it thats all i gotta say RAHHH PHILIPPINES BABYYY 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 MY MANS GOT THAT 'PINO RIZZ OKAYYY

the plot was actually fun, but yeah I WISH WE COULDVE SEEN CASTLECOMING WE WERE ROBBED OF THAT i knew when red and chloe got the book there was like 10 minutes left in the film but cmonn we couldve had Morgie, I DONT KNOW somehow freeing the rest of the vks and them STEALING THE POCKETWATCH AND RED AND CHLOE HAVING TO GET IT BACK, GET ANOTHER 30 MINUTES IN THE FILM MAYBE, ANOTHER ACTION SEQUENCE, CASTLECOMING. but its finee im sure theres a fanfiction in the works somewhere that has that exact premise because thats what fanfic is for babyyyy

imagine. during the dance chloe and red are scrambling to find the watch, they see the vks, they find bridget crying because her best friend isnt there, she thinks ella bailed on her, they have to find the watch but, they gotta make her feel better right? red comforts her while chloe chases after them to find the watch, ella comes to the dance late after deciding, fuck my stepmom, get your hands dirty parallels, something something, the four of them all stopping the vks together, THEN they travel back.

i should just write a fix it fic for this movie at this point damnn i impressed myself

but yeah the ending does leave a lot of plot holes, if bridget didnt change from the past WHO DID, if Red even CONSIDERED a VK in this timeline? if not then WHO IS IT?? IS IT CHLOE?? its hella rushed, its ass, but i guess we'll find out in the 5th movie ig

also i thought they were totally setting it up for Ella to be the one that humiliated Bridget in the past, like the "I saw through her" in Love Ain't It we NEVER GOT ANY CLOSURE FROM THAT WHAT HAPPENED?? sighhh its okay its fine

i see this movie as a spin off movie rather than a 4th installment of the universe because it pretty much is, like its basically its OWN universe with the lack of the og cast and new characters. i unofficially coin it as the "Descendants: Redverse" because it just makes more sense

so many questions, mainly WHY, but yeah, still liked it, would rewatch. certain. parts of it. but honestly? a 7/10. leaning towards a 7.5

is this a recommendation? not sure, depending on who you are you could totally love this film or hate it, i say give it a chance and completely ignore the busted ass ending <3

anyways KENDRICKKK FANFIC WRITERSSSSSS- DROP SOME MORE CHARMINGHEARTS FANFICS/D4 FIX IT FICSSS. AND MY LIFE, IS YOURRSSSS

[lowkeyrobin]

EVIL DEAD RISE ; crush headcanons

includes ; danny & bridget

warnings ; swearing, that's it lmao

pronouns ; they/them

masterlist

DANNY

probably realized he was falling for you on a late night karaoke drive

you guys had nothing better to do so you drove around town and blasted music in the car to try and get tired on that random Friday night

just seeing you all dancey and happy, like, couldn't stop staring at you with a smile

if you give him any compliments, he kinda stutters up a thank you and tries to hide his face getting a little pink

once you walk away or anything he then overthinks the whole thing and starts mumbling to himself

"what the fuck was that????"

he tries to reach for your hand to hold it but always backs out

you catch onto it

at one point it pisses you off sm that you just grab his hand and drag him along

gets all red and shit

"What's this for??"

"Just hold my hand, pussy"

probably one to remix songs you like and stuff and send them to you

you upload them to a spotify artist account for him so you can listen to them and stuff

plus he can start growing a platform early on, so win win situation

he probably attempts to make you fanart but gives up

his art style is music, not drawing lmao

I hc that he knows how to play piano (much to his father's dismay, he says piano is for girls only,) and plays some piano to you over one of those YouTube videos where you click the numbers for the notes cause it'll skip through the video LMAO

you definitely ask him out first

he tried to once and backed out...

"hey, y/n/n, can I ask you something???"

"uh- nevermind, it's not important"

the way you make him smile.

his family are your biggest shippers

bridge thought it'd be funny to make an edit acc for your little ship and holy shit is she a good editor

she got videostar and everything 😭🙏

BRIDGET

I feel like she tries to stray away from her feelings about you

she has more important shit to worry about like equal rights and protesting to help free colonized/enslaved countries

she probably met you at a pride parade (whether you're just an ally or not, you were there lmao)

and you became friends rlly quickly, you complimented her hair, she complimented your outfit

probably realized she was falling for you during a sleepover while you were watching a movie

the way you were making some commentary over Terrifier to not puke out of disgust had her cackling in laughter

she worships you like a God when she gets past her "I don't like them" phase

constantly talks about you to her mom and danny

danny teases the hell out of her 💀💀💀

she probably has the balls to ask you out first bc she never gave you any signs to work off of other than being extra nice to you and always talking to you

her friends constantly take pictures of you guys holding hands and stuff

she's not big on pda so hand holding is mostly it for public and stuff

you guys probably started a YouTube commentary channel to react/talk about movies and stuff lol

[oddinary4bts]

The Forgotten Spaces | ch 6 (jjk)

☆summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?

☆pairing: photographer and dancer!Jungkook x dancer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there is mature content in previous/later chapters)

☆genre: slow (SLOW) burn enemies to lovers, college!au, slice of life!au, angst (oop), smut and fluff

☆warnings: mentions of sex/hot tub scene. hickey. angst (oops), might be a curse somewhere in there?

☆word count: 5.8k

☆series masterpost here

☆a/n: I am very sorry for all the angst that is to follow. Please don't hate me and please enjoy reading still haha! Thank you to @moonleeai for her beta reading on this fic, I won't ever thank you enough, you're the best <3

☆Read What Was Hidden here, the fic that inspired this whole story, written by @daechwitatamic, one of my fav human beings on this app <3 It follows the story of Jo and Taehyung before The Forgotten Spaces

☆☆☆☆☆

For this meeting of our end of the world

It's with you that I want to sing

On the threshold of the memories the dead of today

Them that breathe for us

The forgotten spaces

Je t'écris - Gaston Miron (rough translation by me)

☆☆☆☆☆

Sunday, July 8th

                Waking up next to Jungkook feels weird. You reckon it might be because you haven’t slept a lot, and people are already moving around the cottage. You’ve refused to open your eyes so far, just because you’ve heard Jiho and Hobi whispering about you and Jungkook and you feel too much of a coward to admit you probably fucked things up with him already.

You think Jiho has taken a picture. Knowing her, she definitely has, and you wish you could just disappear for a time. You eventually force yourself to get up though, before Jungkook who is still dead asleep when you move to the kitchen. You suffer through Jiho’s questioning, but she quickly notices that you’re shut off, lost in thought and maybe even dabbling in a little regret too.

From there she shuts down everyone that asks questions, and by the time Jungkook gets up, everyone is just pretending they haven’t noticed that something definitely happened between the two of you.

Jungkook doesn’t really look at you. He eats breakfast chatting with Taehyung and Jin, avoiding you like the plague. You can tell you’ve hurt him, but you don’t know how to fix it. After all, you’ve never really been acquainted with feelings yourself. Especially not after your parents’ divorce.

The day feels heavy. It’s still warm outside, far too much, and a veil of dark clouds is looming over the horizon by the time you have to leave the cottage. Your mood imitates the weather, and you find yourself brooding more than you usually do.

You haven’t been able to talk to Jungkook yet. Mostly because he’s been avoiding you, yes. But also because you don’t know what to tell him.

“Hey, I’m shit at relationships and feelings, yesterday felt too real” sounds like too much of a confession. Even though it is the truth, you’re a coward, through and through.

Jiho’s been trying to get your mind off things. Texting you random stupid things, sending you memes as Hobi drives the four of you home. Heather is riding with Chaeyeon, Lance and Bridget this time around, so there’s a space between you and Jungkook. This time, when he falls asleep, he falls asleep with his head resting against the window, and not on your shoulder.

It starts raining halfway home, and Hobi drives slower, windshield wiper going on full blast. Jiho sends you yet another meme – something absurd you can’t bring yourself to find funny. It earns you a frown from your best friend, and a second later your phone vibrates in your hand.

[1:23 pm] Jiho❣️: u’re supposed to laugh☹️ [1:23 pm] You: i want to talk to Jungkook but idk what to tell him🫠 [1:25 pm] Jiho❣️: what really happened yesterday? i wanna help but it’s hard if idk [1:26 pm] You: we made out in the hot tub then fucked when we were supposed to sleep🤡 [1:26 pm] Jiho❣️: bruh i wish i had a make-out session in the hot tub [1:27 pm] You: 🙄🙄 [1:27 pm] Jiho❣️: sorry [1:27 pm] Jiho❣️: pretty sure more than just fucking happened considering both of you are upset [1:30 pm] You: i told him we shouldn’t have fucked after and he got upset [1:31 pm] Jiho❣️: bitch he’s into u ofc he’ll be upset [1:31 pm] You: u’re not helping [1:32 pm] Jiho❣️: are u into him?

You don’t know the answer. You ask yourself that question for the rest of the day, and you reckon you really don’t know. A lot changed between you and Jungkook over the weekend, but it’s hard to ignore the fact you have never really liked him. Because he was a dick and a bully to you for years.

It’s not something you think you can just forget because you’ve had sex with him once. And you don’t even know if you’d be interested in a relationship with him anyway. You’ve never been in a relationship before at all, and the thought of it terrifies you.

The thought of Jungkook being upset with you terrifies you in equal measures, but you refuse to admit it to yourself. Maybe because you’re trying to protect yourself. It’s hard to tell. You feel like you won’t be able to go through your feelings by yourself – they’re overwhelming, all of them.

Thinking about Jungkook is overwhelming. Thinking about dancing under the stars, about his scar, about the way he held onto you after he finished. Everything is overwhelming, and it makes you anxious. Jumpy, even, as you’re sitting in your room in your mother’s empty house later at night.

You’re halfway through a Studio Ghibli movie that was supposed to help you relax when you decide to text your therapist to schedule an appointment this week. It feels like the right thing to do – you know Mary has always been able to help you sort through your thoughts, even though you haven’t seen her in months.

You don’t expect her to reply tonight considering it’s late in the evening, but you linger on your messaging app. You can’t resist but scroll down a little, down to where Jungkook’s name lies on the screen. You click on the conversation, rereading the last messages he sent you from when he was drunk a little over a week ago. It makes your heart squeeze in your chest a little, and you scroll all the way up to the first time he texted you in April. You haven’t talked much at all, so it’s not like there’s a lot, but you can’t help yourself. You reread everything, entirely ignoring the movie playing on your laptop.

When you’re done reading, you find yourself typing a text even though you don’t know what to say. It seems your fingers know, because a moment later you find yourself staring at a fully formed sentence. It looks as if it’s taunting you, and you reread it so many times the words start to lose their meaning.

[9:47 pm] You: hey, i really enjoyed the weekend with u and i’m genuinely really sorry about yesterday…

It takes you all the courage your body can conjure up to press send. You immediately turn off your phone to focus on your laptop and on the movie, though it doesn’t really work at all. The anxiety the message has brought up in you makes the story of Totoro way too hard to follow, and you’re merely watching the scenes, barely even blinking.

When the movie ends, you get ready for bed. You haven’t dared check your phone yet, but a little bit of anticipation has been steadily building inside of you. Because you hope he’ll answer. You hope you won’t have to explain why you are the way that you are for things to go back to normal with him. Maybe because offering him your vulnerability feels like too much of a commitment for someone that doesn’t do commitments at all.

You know you’ll hate yourself at your internship the next day, but you can’t really sleep after you’ve settled under the comforter in your bed. It’s way past midnight when you finally gather the courage to look at your phone, teeth worrying at your bottom lip.

Your empty notification screen stares back at you, as if to say ‘you really thought that would change anything?’

You sigh, putting your phone away on your night table before turning on your side, grabbing a pillow to hold. It’s still raining outside, and your brain focuses on the splattering of rain on the panes of the window. You think maybe Jungkook went to bed early, considering you didn’t get a lot of sleep in the last two days. Maybe he’s asleep and will reply tomorrow…

You cling onto that hope as the sound of the rain finally lulls you to a troubled sleep.

Tuesday, July 10th

                Jungkook has been in a shit mood. He knows why, and it’s strange to think that it’s not his leg for once. What makes it worse is that everyone around him knows too, thanks to the hickey on his neck.

And it’s only worse when you don’t show up to dance practice. Jiho mentions something about you being stuck at your internship, but Jungkook doesn’t ask. He feels like maybe he could text you to make sure you’re okay. His heart wants him to do it, but his mind is stronger.

And his mind has been winning the war against his heart so far. He won’t cave in now. But he’s still in a shit mood when he gets home after practice. It feels even worse when he sees Taehyung and Jo cuddled up on the couch, and Jimin sprawled up on the floor.

Jimin’s texting away on his phone, and Taehyung meets Jungkook’s gaze where he stopped by the door.

“Practice is already done?” Taehyung asks.

It brings Jimin and Jo’s attention to Jungkook. He just stands there for a time, not knowing what to say.

Not wanting to admit he wrapped dance practice earlier because he was pissed that you weren’t there.

“Yeah,” Jungkook lets out flatly. He finally starts moving again, aiming straight to the kitchen.

He misses the way Jo and Taehyung exchange a concerned look when he passes in front of them, or maybe he just ignores it. He’s been ignoring Jo since the weekend, because it feels like too much pressure to admit that her plan worked and failed in the same night.

Yes, he got to sleep with you, but he’d take it back if he could. Just so it wouldn’t lead to where you’re standing now. Because he’s never replied to your text on Sunday night. Maybe because it was too early, and seeing it just pissed him off more.

Or maybe he’s just trying to preserve himself because he’s realized being with you might be a lot more complicated than previously thought.

He’s pouring cereal in a bowl when he receives a text. He fears that he’s conjured you up for a few seconds, but then he reads the name at the head of the notification. Laura. He furrows his brows, reading her text a few times over to make sure he’s read well. On his fifth reading he reckons the words won’t change even if he keeps glaring at them.

And Laura doesn’t deserve him being upset with her too. Actually, he realizes she might be just what he needs – a distraction, perhaps. Because all he wants is to forget how it felt to be with you last Saturday. And it’s not even about the sex. No, the part that’s been sticking with him is the moment between the hot tub and the sex. When he laid his heart on the table for you.

Had he known you were going to step on it a little under an hour later, Jungkook knows he would have never asked you to dance. It was a stupid request, one that made everything too real.

He can’t really blame you for getting scared. Because he knows that’s what it is. You got scared when he told you you should have slept together before, and he’s been embarrassed since then. Because he said the words in the heat of the action, and even though he meant them – means them – he’d rather not have told you.

Because now when he thinks of you he’s embarrassed, upset, and of course he’s pissed. He’s been in a shit mood after all.

He sighs, pushing his hair back before moving to the fridge to grab the milk. He pours some in the bowl, before grabbing a spoon in the drawer and making his way to the table, where he sits to eat the cereals. He’s halfway through his bowl when he finally decides to open his phone and reply to Laura.

[9:01 pm] Laura: Hey, I gotta admit… I’d like to see you sometime this week? If you’re up for it ofc [9:08 pm] Jungkook: yes ofc! i’m free tmrw evening if u want😌

He doesn’t even know if he actually wants to see her. It makes him think of when he helped her with her camera last week. Laura is sweet. Cute and shy. She’s his type, he can’t deny it. But she’s nice, and he doesn’t think she deserves him using her as a distraction.

He reckons he’s a mess. You’ve been messing with his head far too much, and he doesn’t like that you have that power over him. He doesn’t want anyone to have that power over him.

Yet it’s relieving that for once his mind isn’t clouded with dark thoughts related to the accident. Because he can’t really think about the accident when you’re there whenever he closes his eyes. When he can almost feel your warmth lingering under his fingers, along his body. When he thinks he can still smell your shampoo, and feel your soft skin.

The way that he feels disgusts him. It makes him scoff, and he’s frowning as he finishes eating his cereals. The frown only relaxes when Laura texts him again.

[9:12 pm] Laura: I’m available too! There’s a restaurant I’ve been wanting to try? Is that something you’d like to do?

The way that she texts sounds formal. It makes him laugh, and he finds himself replying,

[9:13 pm] Jungkook: wait, so then it’s a date date uh? [9:16 pm] Laura: Maybe?☺️ [9:17 pm] Jungkook: is 7 o’clock good for u?

He doesn’t really know what he’s doing. He doesn’t usually do real dates, preferring hanging out at the girl’s place or inviting her over for one of the many parties they usually host. But he needs the distraction, right?

And when he’s texting Laura, he realizes he’s not thinking about you as much. It’s relieving after the last few days, and really, maybe he should just give her a chance.

Wednesday, July 11th

                Your therapist works in a building that’s surprisingly not too far from your internship. You were able to schedule an appointment for tonight, which is a relief.

You’ve been thinking about this weekend so much you haven’t been able to focus at the internship. So much so that you were stuck at the office later yesterday. You didn’t mind having to skip the dance practice though – you were glad you didn’t have to see Jungkook.

But now, it’s time for you to sort out your thoughts about the whole situation. As much as pretending that everything is fine can be fun, you also hate the way your mind wanders every night. Especially considering Jungkook never replied to your text last Sunday.

You feel like he’s slipping through your fingers. And maybe he is, and maybe all of this will be for nothing.

Well, not necessarily nothing, since it’s always good to get a grip of yourself.

You sigh, and you walk into the building right before a rain shower starts. You’re relieved you were able to avoid getting wet, and you walk to the front desk to give your name to the lady. She puts you in the computer and then tells you to sit in the waiting room. You thank her, and you’ve barely had time to sit when Mary comes to get you.

Mary’s office hasn’t changed one bit since the last time you sought her help in February. You sit on the same couch, and she offers you a glass of water as she greets you. And then she asks what brings you there.

At that you still. You freeze, like a deer in headlights, because for a moment you’re terrified of having to say the words aloud. Terrified to admit you felt something last Saturday, and you think you’ve already screwed it all up. She listens to you intently, and you watch her scribble on her pad as you do so. You’re tempted to read what she’s written; you’ve always wondered what it is that therapists write on that notebook of theirs.

Is she piecing out your soul the way that you feel like she is?

You tell her everything. You tell her about how Jungkook came back into your life, differently this time. You tell her about the dance practices, and about your internship too. You tell her about last weekend, and you reveal every little dirty thought your brain dared to think. Mary doesn’t judge, and when you’re done, the only thing she says is, “You’re really good at psycho-analyzing yourself”.

You reckon she’s right. Because you know exactly why you acted the way that you did – with the example your parents gave you of love growing up, it’s hard to actually love. It’s even harder to deconstruct it, to deconstruct the fear until you can build yourself back into someone that can love.

It’s not that you think you can’t. You love Jiho, Jisung and their family plenty. But it’s different when it’s love with a big L. It’s always been, and you’ve never once really wanted to change it.

But now you do. You’ve been using your fears to protect yourself from others for far too long.

Mary makes a plan with you. Nothing too big, but she does suggest scheduling another appointment next week. Because you knowing what you need to do is half of the work, yes, but you still need to put it into practice. You agree with her, and you leave her office feeling lighter than you’ve felt in days.

The plan is for you to ask Jungkook if you can talk. You have the option to wait until tomorrow at dance practice, or to text him tonight, just so he knows in advance that you want to talk to him. Mary favoured the latter, saying that it’d give him time to prepare if he has things to tell you too.

You have no idea if he does, but the moment on Saturday felt heavy. You doubt there’s been nothing on his mind since then… because you were there. You know how it felt like, under the stars and after that. And the whole weekend, if you’re honest to yourself. You doubt he was immune to it.

You decide to wait a little before you text him. Just to make sure you really are going to do this. Because it feels like you’re standing at the top of a cliff, and you’ve never been a cliff diver. No, you’re far too afraid of heights. But the fact that you haven’t been able to get Jungkook off your mind tells you enough: you’d jump off the highest cliff for him.

Because if you don’t risk it, what is there to win?

So it’s later that night, when you’re rewatching your favourite anime, that you find yourself pausing the show. You go to your messaging app, and heart beating out of your chest you type a message. Something simple, something straight to the point. Because the fact he ignored your last message says enough: Jungkook won’t cave in for apologies, especially not over text.

You settle on,

[9:31 pm] You: hey jk! can we talk tmrw after practice?😌

You press send before you can convince yourself that this is not a good idea, and anxiety blooms in every inch of you. It’s a foreign feeling: you’ve never been so anxious when it came to someone else before in your life.

Watching your favourite anime after that has never been so hard.

Thursday, July 12th

                You don’t want to go to practice. Everything feels like it’s going too fast and too slow at the same time: waiting for Jungkook to reply is excruciatingly long, and having to head to the dance studio is coming far too quickly.

Jungkook hasn’t replied. You texted Mary about it – she said to see in person if Jungkook wants to talk, but to also respect it if he doesn’t. It makes you far less hopeful than you were when you got out of her office yesterday, but you know she is right.

If this is his way of setting a boundary, you will have to respect. No matter how much it upsets you.

So it’s in an anxious state of mind that you make your way to the studio. You run into Jiho on the way, and you’re worrying at your bottom lip when she asks, “What’s wrong?”

Your steps falter a little, and you throw her a side glance. “Uh?”

“What’s wrong with you?” she asks.

She knows that you used to see a therapist. But telling her that you saw Mary again about Jungkook feels like too big of a confession. It gives him too much power, and you’re not sure you’re ready for that. But you can tell some parts of the truth, can you?

“I’m going to try and talk to Jungkook tonight.”

Jiho remains suspiciously silent for a time. “Are you sure you want to talk to him?”

“I guess,” you say, shrugging your shoulders. “I just feel bad about this weekend.” Jiho offers you a sad smile, as your eyes fall to the concrete in front of you. “It’s just like, I don’t know, I liked where last weekend was going and I don’t want it to go back to the way things were before.” You pause, already feeling a little lighter now that you’ve started talking to your best friend. “Like I know I got scared and all, but he’s actually pretty decent?”

Now, Jiho’s smile has turned knowing, and she nudges you with her elbow. “I think I saw that coming from miles away but I didn’t want you to kill me.”

“Uh?” you let out, feeling a little confused.

“Everyone always thought you two were into each other,” she admits, and she laughs loudly when you push her. “Exactly why I didn’t want to tell you,” she says when her laughter subsides as you offer her a fake glare, lips jutting out in a small pout.

“I mean, I don’t even know if that’s where things are going,” you say. Your fear returns, and you’re back to nibbling on your lower lip. “Like, maybe I just fucked up too bad?”

“Did you talk since then?” Jiho asks.

You refuse to look at her when you reply. “No. He ignored my texts.”

From the corner of your eyes you see Jiho wince. Because she knows just as well as you what it probably means, and you don’t want to hear her say it.

“What did you tell him?”

You shrug your shoulders, trying to act as indifferent as possible. “Sunday I said that I was sorry, and I asked him if we could talk after dance practice yesterday.”

“And he said nothing?”

It’s rhetorical, so you remain silent. You’re reaching the bridge, and you know the conversation will soon come to an obligated end anyway.

“Babe…”  Jiho lets out carefully. “Maybe you shouldn’t talk to him.”

It makes you scoff. “I’ll be chill, don’t worry.”

“I’m not saying you won’t be,” Jiho says. She grabs your arm to make you stop. “Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk.”

You free your arm from her grip, though she was already letting you go. “I’ll ask. We’ll see. I just want to clear the air.”

Jiho holds your defiant gaze for a while, before nodding once. “Alright. Sounds good. You let me know what he says.” She pauses for a few seconds, before adding, “And we’re still on for Thirsty Thursdays after that.”

Of course you are, and of course you’ll tell her. She’s your best friend after all, and you don’t remember a time when you really hid anything from her.

It doesn’t stop your heart from aching in your chest as you near the studio.

*****

                Dance practice feels weird. You can’t help your eyes from diverting to Jungkook where he’s standing, next to the mirrors. He’s good at pretending he doesn’t feel your gaze on him, yet more than once you catch him already looking.

He looks good. He’s in paler clothes than his usual today – light blue jeans with an oversized white t-shirt – and his hair is ruffled by the way he keeps running his hands through it. He looks like he doesn’t care, almost. Because you can tell he’s anxious about something whenever you catch him pulling at his piercing, eyebrows slightly furrowed over his eyes.

You don’t know when you started being able to read him so well, but you surely can now.

He calls dance practice off earlier than his usual, and he still hasn’t really looked at you. You’re pretty sure everyone has noticed by now, especially considering the fact Jiho hasn’t really been subtle about it. She’s glaring at Jungkook most of the time, and he just shrugs his shoulders to her.

It’s weird. Something is off, but if you’re going to do this, you’ll do it, right?

It’s in that anxious state of mind that you approach him as everyone filters out. His hands are buried in his pockets and he’s leaning against the mirror. It’s like he’s waiting for you, and you figure maybe he did read your message after all.

The first few seconds of standing in front of him are far more awkward than anything you’ve ever experienced in your entire life. You don’t know what to say, don’t know where to start, and Jungkook’s head is hanging too low for you to be able to catch his gaze without invading his personal space. So you stay rooted in your spot, and you wait for him to look at you. It takes a while, but he eventually looks up.

You’re taken aback by the bitter annoyance his features hold. “What?”

You’ve written in your notes app what you wanted to say. You’ve even practiced it, but now you don’t remember a single word.

His eyes are sad. It’s the only thing that feels different on his features. The rest is all annoyed: his eyebrows are furrowed, the corners of his lips are pointing downwards. His shoulders are low, defeated, and he seems to realize it because he straightens and folds his arms on his chest.

“Uh,” you choke out against the anxiety that’s building up inside of you. “I just…”

“If you want to apologize again, I received your message last Sunday.”

You brush a strand of your hair behind your ear, before folding your arms on your chest too. “Why did you ignore me?”

He shrugs, shaking his head a little as he looks away. “I have nothing to tell you.”

“Jungkook, can you please not? We’re adults.”

“Yeah, and I’m choosing to not be talking with you. I’m sure you can respect that?”

You can. You definitely can. But at the same time you can’t. Not when he says it like that, like it’s some sort of an insult.

“Why are you overreacting like that?”

“Because I’m fucking embarrassed about last weekend!” he bursts. “I wish it never happened.”

It hurts. It stings and burns, and you hold your arms tighter against you. “You’re embarrassed? Is that why you said you wished we did it earlier?”

His gaze turns vicious, like he’s a viper waiting to strike. “See, that’s exactly why I do not want to talk to you. I don’t think we can be friends either. We’ve never been friends, like you oh so kindly reminded me, and that won’t change.”

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath to relax, because this is not where you want this conversation to be going. “Listen,” you say after a few seconds of silence, “I really don’t want to be fighting with you. I just want to clear the air.”

“The air is cleared,” he says as you open your eyes to meet his fiery gaze again. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to do.”

You’re struck then. You feel like you either have the choice to confess or to stick to your anger. And you try to confess, you really do. It’s not like with Jiho – Jungkook was part of the moment Saturday, he was there with you under the stars. So it shouldn’t be too hard to tell him, to say you got scared.

You open your mouth to say the words, and shut it immediately as he scoffs.

“See, I don’t even think we should be speaking at all,” he says. There’s a fraction of a second when you’re convinced you can read pain in his gaze before he continues, “I’m actually seeing Laura, and I don’t want to fuck that up.”

Every word you’ve ever known vanishes from your mind. You just stand there for a moment, mouth hanging open, ears ringing as you look at him. You feel like you’re falling, or maybe you’re getting crushed. It’s hard to tell. It’s equally as hard to breathe, and your lungs burn as oxygen fills them.

“What?”

“I went on a date with Laura and I actually like the girl, I don’t want to fuck things up by talking to you,” he says, slowly, as if he needs to hammer every word into your head.

Laura? The girl from his class?

“Isn’t that the girl you told me you don’t care about?”

Your voice is somehow flat. Empty of the emotions it held just a few seconds ago.

“I went on a date with her and I like her,” he repeats as if you’re stupid and didn’t understand the first time around. As if your heart is not breaking in your chest, infinitely so.

You didn’t know how big your heart is until this moment, when every beat just breaks a little more, and all you can think to do is hold yourself tighter. As if it’ll stop the breaking.

“When?”

“Why do you want to know?” he asks, and his eyes fall shut as he pinches the bridge of his nose. You really do feel stupid then, stupid and foolish and everything in between. Like you’re a five-years-old that keeps messing her right from her left.

“I… how the fuck did you go on a date with her already, it’s been four days?”

“A lot can change in four days, Y/n,” he drawls.

You think your nails might be digging in your palms from how hard you’re clenching your fists. “Wow.”

The studio falls silent. It’s heavy, and maybe the silence is what’s been crushing you. Because you were expecting it – the moment you and Jungkook wouldn’t have anything else to tell each other. Because for everything you were willing to confess, now there’s just an empty spot inside of you.

You hold his gaze. He doesn’t look all that infuriated anymore. Defeated, yes, and maybe a little deflated. He looks like he didn’t expect the conversation to go there.

But you were right. Turns out you were right and you are too late. You can’t help but hate him for it.

“You don’t waste your time, do you?” you ask, and you scoff bitterly. “You fuck one girl and then another in just a few days. Suits you well.”

He rolls his eyes. “As I said, I wish we didn’t sleep together. If I could take last weekend back I would.” He shrugs then, shaking his head a little. “I’m sure you understand.”

You purse your lips, trying to keep them from trembling as you feel a lump form in your throat. “I can’t believe you’re already fucking some other girl.”

“Okay, Y/n, as if that’s going to change anything.”

You nod, and you find yourself fleeing his gaze. Because you don’t want him to see how you’re breaking inside. How every piece of you turns inside out, until you’re bleeding out standing there in front of him.

“Just…”

You think about the stars. You think about the way he led you in that dance, the way his eyes shone as he looked at you.

Jungkook is cataclysmic. He really is. And cataclysms are rarely good, are they? They can create, yes, the way the universe was once created, but they destroy. They destroy and destroy until nothing remains, until you just feel like you’re drowning and burning all at once.

“Save your breath,” he says. You think his gaze is shining again, and you don’t think it’s shining for the same reason that it was under the stars. “And I mean that in the most respectful way.”

“Right. As if that would ever sound respectful.”

He rolls his eyes again. “Yeah, whatever. I’m done here.”

It occurs to you that you’re about to watch someone you care about walk out of your life again. You want to reach out and hold him, to tell him how you feel, to say how everything has started to hurt, but you can’t. You can just look at him, hold his gaze until he makes the decision to go.

He’s gone before you’ve truly assimilated just how bad everything went. Just how far south things went, and how fiercely everything burns. And you stand there for a long time, holding yourself, waiting for the heartbreak to stop. But the thing with heartbreak is that it never fully stops, does it? You just learn to deal with it better.

It’s weird. You never thought you could be cold and burning at the same time. But if this is hell, then hell has frozen over because you’re shivering, just holding yourself.

You feel like you’re sixteen again, like you watched your dad walk out of your life again. Maybe because Jungkook really was the cataclysm to you, and now you’re stuck with the aftermath.

But you don’t cry. No, you hold the tears in. Force them to dry without having rolled on your cheeks, convince them that you don’t care. It’s something you’re good at. Pretending. Because maybe you’ve been pretending you hate Jungkook for a lot longer than you thought. Maybe that’s the reason why it hurts so bad.

But you won’t cry, no. You won’t cry for Jeon Jungkook.

You get home later that night, after having walked through a daze for the whole evening. You’re drunk, and you’re still aching from the inside out. Your phone is in your hand, and you’ve been on Jungkook’s conversation for so long without blinking that your eyes have fully gone dry.

You watch the text you’ve just sent, the only proof that you ever cared about Jungkook.

[2:31 am] You: i reall y wish things ddn’t go so bad

It takes you three days to realize it never delivered.

Friday, July 20th

                It takes Jungkook a little under two weeks to officialise things with Laura. It’s moving quickly, he’s aware of it, but he’s been trying to ignore the way he saw your heart break in your eyes. It seems the best way to do it is to watch feelings swell in someone else’s gaze, and so he asks Laura to be his girlfriend after their third date.

She says yes, beaming like she’s the sun personified.

Still, when Jungkook closes his eyes at night, all he sees is your heart breaking in your eyes.

Prev | Next

☆☆☆☆☆

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh.. my bad. I really went far with this angst uh? What do we think? What's going to happen next?

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate.

Taglist (strike-through means dumblr is not letting me tag you):

@chimchimmarierie | @pamzn | @sugaluvmyg | @tearyjjeonon | @jkclouds | @libra04 | @parkinglot-nights | @ggukieasy | @omnomnomtron | @jichimx | @synnfulqt | @leedoesntknaur | @pornichett | @melodiesforari | @oopscoop | @nadzzzblog | @amylouisecullen | @sunwooful | @parkethereal | @jeonhvvrs | @daisies-and-dandelionpuffs

[lighthousepigeons]

[Everyone one their way to dinner]

Christian, pulls Rhys aside: So I heard some disturbing news earlier...about you and I'm here if you need advice.

Rhys: Advice?

Christian: You know? Fashion advice.

Rhys: What the fuck are you talking about?

Christian: You're in denial, it's fine. I'm here for you though.

Rhys: *confused*

[Later]

Rhys: Christian was so weird today.

Bridget: How so?

Rhys: Said something about giving me fashion advice.

Bridget, nervous laughter: That is weird, but you know how he can be so random sometimes.

Rhys, still confused: Yeah.

[maritime-carnival]

guilty gear character headcanons, but i put them through a random headcanon generator

-sol is in your house

-if the source media where a musical, ky would be the one asking why everyone is singing

-jack-o believes in ghosts and insists on trying to summon one at every sleepover

-asuka is not allowed to drink energy drinks

-dizzy desperately needs a hug but doesn't know it and refuses to ask for one

-sin always has a deck of yugioh cards on him

-ramlethal has a diary that she writes in with a glittery gel pen

-elphelt will remind people in the midst of chaos how good *she's* being

-testament instinctively cleans messes in their own house, as well as everyone else’s

-nagoriyuki makes your mom jokes

-i-no wears hello kitty socks

-happy chaos has an intense fear of spiders

-leo knocks people over by hugging them

-daryl enjoys doing taxes

-vernon uses the word ‘like’ like a comma

-erica has a pet cat

-goldlewis can beat you up and will

-giovanna knows every lyric to ‘let it go’ by heart

-bridget would buy clothes from the soup store

-axl is an oldest child

-may sings in the shower

-johnny can’t sit in a chair properly

-april uses the word ‘fuck’ like a comma

-gabriel is a great artist

-potemkin was dropped out of a window as a child

-ariels bites her nails

-faust has an old, embarrassing deviant art account

-raven has not showered in two and a half weeks

-zappa watched the sonic movie

-aba’s least favorite subject in school was english

-if paracelsus was presented with an intergalactic portal, he would enter it without question

-chipp wakes up on november first and starts decorating for christmas

-answer has a mary sue oc

-anji is a cat person

-baiken is smart but also very stupid

-delilah has chronic nightmares

-bedman likes being alone

-haehyun tells dad jokes

-dr. paradigm will go feral. watch out

-izuna is great with kids

-slayer is constantly singing for no reason

-sharon is a horrible liar

-zato can beat you up if you deserve it

-eddie steals other people’s clothes

-millia gets road rage

-venom cringes at his middle school year book

-robo-ky likes to sing at 4am. his neighbors hate him

-fanny sleeps in until noon

-jam does not know how to read

-kliff has punched a hole through his wall

[palmtreepalmtree]

Alright, here it is, the totally unasked for review of Irish Wish from a woman who does not have the time to be doing it but can't stop thinking about it SO HERE WE ARE.

The Worst Movie on Netflix right now is Lindsay Lohan in Irish Wish.

Alright, so if you don't know the premise, I will recap for you. Lindsay plays Maddie, a book editor who has edited a bestselling novel on behalf of this uber wealthy and allegedly Irish dude Paul Kennedy who is a bestseller (whether he was a bestseller before or after Maddie helped him on this, his second book, is unclear, but I refuse to debate it). She has a huge adult lady girl crush on this man, but has not told him yet.

Our movie, such as it is, begins at his book launch where Maddie is girding her loins to try to tell him how she feels---and instead he winds up vibing with her gal pal Emma. FAST FORWARD and Emma and Paul are getting married. And Maddie is miserable and still pining. So she manages to make a wish to a wish-granting (Catholic?*) Saint Bridget that she wishes she were marrying Paul instead. AND THEN HIJINKS ENSUE.

Here's the CRAZY thing -- that there is a world-altering wish granted by some random Irishy fairy/saint is the least logically offensive thing to happen in this insane, inhuman, bizarre series of events that we're calling a "movie."

I mean less than 5 minutes into the movie, Maddie is having a speakerphone conversation with her mom in the bathroom of the book launch where she is openly speaking about her feelings for Paul.

What is she a boomer!? BUT ALSO you hope your mom in fucking IOWA (Jane Seymour, cashing checks) has not told anyone about your feelings for Paul that you are discussing on SPEAKERPHONE in the bathroom AT PAUL'S BOOK LAUNCH!?

Not two seconds later, a pair of extras leave the bathroom stalls and exit the bathroom behind her. And she doesn't react in any concerned way. She does not react at all. Is she not worried about who just overheard her? Is she not embarrassed? Maybe these are friends of Paul who would be interested to know that his Editor has a crush on him!? We are in fact at his book launch!? This is a startlingly weird lack of reaction! Like......... we are less than 5 minutes into this movie and I am already wondering where basic human logic just went. WAS THERE NOT A SINGLE HUMAN PERSON ON SET OR IN THE EDITING ROOM WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A PROBLEM!?

Alright, somehow, I have to get further into this movie than 3 minutes and 55 seconds.

So Maddie's gearing up to tell Paul her feelings and as soon as he sees her, he says he wants to talk to her about something important. And when they sit down together, he takes her by the hand, gazes deeply into her eyes with the sincere, smoldering look above, and says this: I feel like it's time we take our relationship to the next level. And she lights up. CAUSE THIS IS HER MOMENT AND SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING OR RISK ANYTHING! But then Paul just asks her to work with him on his next book. And she is devastated.

But here's the thing. WHO FUCKING SAYS THAT!? What man does that? THAT IS A TRASH MAN, MADDIE! He is obviously manipulating her to get what he wants. GET OUT OF THERE, MADDIE! GET OUT OF THERE!

The thing is the movie does not reckon or deal with this moment at all (because it is not a movie it is just a semblance of scenes). When the movie fasts forward and Paul is marrying Emma, we're meant to believe that Maddie is still friends with him, works with him, and admires him. The MOVIE ITSELF never questions this---is Paul a sincere authentic dude who was just oblivious to how he was coming over? Or was he screwing her over!?

I don't need a fucking idiotic Saltburn-style reveal, but the movie should have a fucking opinion about this and it should be reflected in it. It should be there in the mise-en-scene, the costuming, the subtext, SOMEWHERE. But this is not a movie, it is just a semblance of scenes.

I have written many words, and I am 7 minutes into the movie. So I am going to take a break and come back to his.

============= LUNCH BREAK ============

Alright, look, there are about 90 more minutes left in this movie and there are just dozens and dozens more moments like this where people do things and say things that just defy logic or are otherwise untreated and unacknowledged by the narrative. Parts of this movie approximate real life, but they don't come near it.

Rachel Handler over at Vulture does a granular breakdown (and still misses things cause omg this movie is a mess!) that you can check out here. She suggests that this movie could only have been written by AI. I get where she's coming from.

So much of this movie includes rom-com tropes like it's ticking off boxes rather than adding value to the overall story. For example, Maddie is repeatedly portrayed as a klutz---tripping over things, nearly breaking things. Why? I'm too tired to even be mad about this. Just.... why?!

The common wisdom is that gorgeous actresses need to be more relatable to audiences and making them klutzy is an easy shorthand for relatability.

The thing is this trope---and so many rom-com tropes---are deeply offensive to the women who make up much of the target audience. I mean JFC, gorgeous women can be single! For so.many.reasons. And I don't know about you, but I don't need an absurd narrative justification for why that might be that diminishes the main character and makes her look silly.

I mean, I'm a fuckup, but I don't get into a tug-of-war battle at the airport over luggage. (wtf, why didn't she just look at the fucking bag tag? This is insane behavior! Is this a sad little attempt at humor!? Barely 11 minutes into the movie now!).

The theme of this movie, to the extent there is one, (TO THE EXTENT THIS IS A MOVIE AT ALL) is that Maddie needs to learn to speak up for herself to get the things she actually wants. But she spends half the movie saying MY MOM WILL FIX IT! Just wait until my mom gets here!

Again, how is this a likeable or interesting character trait? It's one thing for a character to need to speak up for themselves. But there is something remarkably juvenile about a character who repeatedly says her mom will fix it.

In her review, Handler notes how unbelievably sexless this movie is and I 100% agree and noticed it immediately. To the extent that Maddie suddenly wakes up in the exact world she wants, she is remarkably embarrassed about getting the thing---THE MAN---she wants. She seems obviously afraid to kiss him, and "accidentally" (massive side-eye) kicks the shit out of him when she finds him in her bed.

It's like the movie doesn't want her to want anything. While simultaneously telling us she doesn't ask for the things she wants.

By the way, this is an insane contrast to the recent Netflix movie Players in which Gina Rodriguez spends the whole movie asking for the things she wants, pursuing it, and getting it. Fuck yeah, Gina.

I'm not saying a movie has to be sexual to be romantic or to work or anything like that. I'm saying don't be so fucking coy about it that you're inadvertently telling women that sex is NOT a part of love or that you're telling women they should be ashamed of desiring someone emotionally and physically. That's fucking ridiculous puritan SHIT.

Alright, this is the rare review that I have not thoughtfully organized in humorous stages. There's really just too much here to mine. There are the absurd accents that Seamas O'Reilly noted and understands much better than me in his review for the Irish Examiner here.

He also noted the uncanny valley of the location that feels totally phony the whole way through. And probably for good reason. I mean, first of all, we're supposed to believe that this candy pink dock is a real fucking place in Ireland??????

(Allegedly the lake is real, but fuck me I hope the dock is fake!!)

And honestly, of course it's fucking FAKE. Not sure if you can see the planter of flowers that are supposed to be just wild in the landscape, but I sure could.

But you don't really need evidence to tell you that everything about this movie is a contrived, fake, phony mess.

And here, ultimately is the problem.

Irish Wish is an objectively bad movie. I mean, I don't really care that there are always going to be tons of people whining about how 'it's a fun movie!' and 'it's just not that deep!' Like FUCK OFF. HAVE SOME FUCKING STANDARDS IN YOUR LIFE. It's a bad movie.

But there's almost zero way for this to impact Netflix's assessment of what works and what doesn't on their network and what they should invest in moving forward.

According to some sources, Players (a perfectly fine, predictable movie with good actors, okay writing, and actual production values) had 16.3 million views on the first week. Irish Wish had 19.5 million. Netflix has no way to determine whether one is of better quality than the other. It rewards the shitty writing, shitty production, equally, if not more.

I didn't get so mad after watching Irish Wish that I canceled my subscription. No, I just recognized that, 'oh hey, Physical 100 has a new season out next week.' So I just waited for that and watched the next thing on Netflix.

Sigh. And honestly, Irish Wish is so bad it's kind of fucking hilarious to watch, so maybe that's worth something here. Hard to argue with that.

I don't want to declare a genre dead, but we're running so hard in the wrong direction in the world of rom-com, that it's becoming painful to love these movies. It doesn't help that critics constantly give low ratings to rom-coms because of their predictability instead of understanding that being predictable is an essential part of the genre. But there's still a stark difference between Players and Irish Wish and I don't think that's properly reflected in a 4% audience score differential on Rotten Tomatoes. Like... what are we even doing here guys!? HAVE SOME STANDARDS, I AM BEGGING YOU.

But I do love this genre. I really do. I love these movies. I don't know what it's going to take to save them. But I can tell you one thing.

We can't count on Lindsay Lohan doing it for us.

*I am not getting into the religious implications here cause I'm an atheist Jew, so leave me out of this.