#briana buckmaster fiction | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

amberjazmyn · 8 months ago

Text

please stay

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - please stay

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - death in the family, mentions of a heart attack, crying, funeral and some happy moments in the form of flashbacks

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - kameron ackles and her family at their father's and husband's funeral whilst jensen sings the elvis costello hit, "please stay"

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - another sad one ik but for jensen finally! i know this was originally written for nicky byrne from westlife but i wanted to write this one for jensen. so, the westlife version of costello's hit "please stay" will still be used. also, i am aware that both of jensen's parents are alive but, in this they are not, hence why it's called fiction! lyrics will be in bold italics and this will be written in lowercase. if there are any, flashbacks will be written in italics whilst everything else will be written in normal font unless otherwise specified.

masterlist

- - -

"if i got on my knees and i pleaded with you, not to go but to stay in my arms, would you walk out the door, like you did once before?"

kameron ackles' heart was broken as she sat in the front pews whilst her older brother jensen and his friend and castmates jason manns, rob benedict and briana buckmaster stood back up at the altar to sing at the funeral of their father, alan ackles. kameron could tell that jensen was shattered, i mean, she saw her brother's entire body start to tremble as he sang what was his, rob, briana and jason's second song at the funeral. the spot next to her was empty with danneel, jensen's wife, sitting on the other end of the empty spot, for jensen was sitting in between his youngest sister and his wife. quietly, unlatching her hand from her older sister mackenzie's, kameron slid over as quietly and respectfully as she could and squished herself up next to her sister-in-law and her brother's wife. immediately, danneel tightly grabbed her younger sister-in-law and held her hand tightly as they watched their brother and husband sing what was their second song for their father and father-in-law after they had already sung "hallelujah".

as jensen sang, thoughts ran through kameron's mind as she really thought about the lyrics. what if she had gone on her knees, pleading with her dad not to go but to stay? what if her father hadn't gone to work that day and went to the doctor after complaining and murmuring about the hunger pain that he revealed he had had over the weekend? if he had gone to the goddamn hospital and had a check-up, would he have not walked out of the door to work like he had done once before, every other day and not died? if he had gone to the hospital, would he have had the opportunity to go to work and come home the very same day?

focusing back to her brother, rob, briana and jason, she watched as tears filled her brother's eyes as he got to the next set of lyrics in his opening verse of the song.

"this time, be different. please stay, don't go."

and just like that, jensen burst out into tears and kameron couldn't handle it anymore. if it wasn't for danneel's tight and comforting grip on kameron's hand, the youngest ackles would have up and run out of the providence church. thankful that she hadn't, both danneel and kameron knew that jensen at any moment would be looking up to make eye contact with his younger sister for support and if she wasn't there, it would break jensen's heart even more. so, kameron didn't leave her seat at the front of the church and waited for the moment that her brother looked up and made eye contact with her.

and when jensen did make eye contact with his youngest sister, his heart ever so slightly warmed at the sight that was his wife and sister holding hands and he continued to sing even though his tears were welling up and down his cheeks and his body trembling. knowing he could get through it, not just with his best friends, rob, briana and jason by his side, helping him through it but because he could also keep strong eye contact with his youngest sister whilst their other brother and sister took care of their mom.

"if i call out your name like a prayer, would you leave me alone with my tears? knowing i need you so, would you still turn and go?"

kameron watched intently as her brother continued to sing despite the heartbreak he was feeling. kameron knew this had knocked her brother for six, he was on his way back to vancouver to start filming the new season of supernatural after a year away and had only just recently started to return to the cast again when he had a bad feeling when their mom hadn't heard from their dad and when the father wasn't answering any of their phone calls. thank god that jensen was able to get off his flight to vancouver and was able to run through that airport and be there but, it was still devastating that jensen wasn't able to make it in time to say somewhat of a goodbye to their dad.

resting her head on her sister-in-law's shoulder, kameron closed her eyes as memories of her and her dad went flying through her mind but, one in particular flashed clearly in kameron's mind.

it was like deja vu for alan ackles, his youngest daughter was sixteen and in tears about having to leave home for the first time to go to los angeles on her own. this very same thing happened when he and his wife, donna's eldest son, jensen, left dallas for los angeles when he was sixteen for the first time. when it was jensen, kameron's older brother leaving, he was in tears because he was worried about something horrible happening to someone he loved whilst he was away in los angeles when their father reassured jensen. sitting him down on his bed that if anything like that were to happen, his dad would let him know and fly over to pick him up and bring him back home. seeming to do the trick in reassuring and comforting their eldest son, alan tried to say similar words to their youngest daughter because she was identical to her brother in that aspect, her biggest fear is the same thing as her older brother's.

so, alan ackles comforted his youngest child the same way he comforted his eldest middle child, "...kameron, i promise you, if anything bad was to happen at home and you're in los angeles, you will not be left alone in the dark. i'm going to get on a plane, pick you up and then we'll fly home together, okay? you will be fine in los angeles, it's just for a couple of months to see how your ballet dancing is and if they love you, they will ask you to stay for more than just two months, okay?" alan comforted his daughter who was going to be travelling to los angeles solo because she had been given the opportunity of a lifetime to do a two-month summer intensive with the los angeles ballet academy

the young kameron ackles was an extremely talented ballet dancer, the opposite of her actor older brother jensen ackles who was known for his roles in soap operas like days of our lives, dawson's creek and others and was terrified to leave her friends and family back home in texas. the very same way that her brother jensen was scared when he had to leave when he had first left for la when he was sixteen.

listening to her father's words, kameron sniffled and nodded her head which rested on her dad's shoulder, "thanks daddy, i love you," kameron mumbled as alan smiled at his youngest child, wrapping his arm around his daughter and hugged her tightly

kissing the top of his daughter's head, alan was confident in his next statement, "you'll be wonderful at the los angeles ballet academy, kameron. you're a gorgeous dancer, kami and you know exactly what it is they are asking from you. you have nothing to worry about, i'm sure they'll be quite a few lads and lasses who are coming in from texas and all around the states as well. you'll make friends easily and you'll look back on this moment and think why on earth you were so scared. come on now love, you'll need to continue to pack as we'll need to leave in the next few minutes otherwise we'll be late and we don't want that," alan stood up, unravelling himself from his daughter as a sly smile curved on kameron's face as she then spoke up cheekily

"dad, my flight doesn't leave until eight in the evening, it hasn't even hit lunchtime yet, weirdo!" kameron quipped as alan laughed, grateful that he got a little bit of a laugh and joke out of his anxious daughter

"i just wanted to make you smile and see you laugh, babe. but, again, you'll be brilliant in los angeles and they will love you there. however, i'll say it a second time, you need to continue to pack your bags otherwise we will be late because at this rate, and how empty your suitcase and carry-on are, we won't be leaving on time. if need be, i can ask jensen to help you, and i'm sure he'll get your spirits higher than i can?" alan questioned towards the end, kameron appreciating his support and the support of her brother jensen

agreeing to her dad's statement since she knew he was going to bring in her older brother to help her even if she said no, "yeah, you can bring jensen in to help, thanks, dad. i love you," kameron called out as alan left the room to grab the older brunette as he smiled hearing his daughter's declaration of love for him

kameron then continued to smile and laugh as she and jensen helped her pack for her solo trip to los angeles. jensen also reiterated the same things that their dad had said to comfort kameron but also added in some cheeky jokes and quips in between to make sure his sister wouldn't start crying all over again after their dad had done all he could to stop her tears in the first place. after the brother and sister had packed kameron's large suitcase and her exponentially smaller carry-on bag, they had decided to go back downstairs where the rest of the family was and decided to spend the rest of kameron's last day all together before having to see the girl off for the next two months.

as she resurfaced from that memory, kameron found herself also start smiling through her own silent tears and lifted her head up from danneel's shoulder, the girls still holding hands as they went back to paying attention to the gorgeous "please stay" performance.

"this time be different, please stay, don't go, please stay,"

as jensen, rob, briana and jason continued to sing and support their grief-stricken friend, that was when warmth in kameron's chest started to build as she started to pay attention to the way jason, rob and briana huddled around jensen. of course, she had known the family that supernatural had created, she was a part of it, as a sibling to one of the cast but, it was at this moment that she truly understood and took notice of how jason and the rest of the cast themselves took care of each other and how they really rallied around each other when something like the loss of a parent happened. she then recognised the first time she saw it happen, when rob had had his stroke back in 2013 during the toronto convention and how they rallied around rob and his family in the same way they were now rallying around her and jensen's family.

as her tears continued down her face, kameron's smile didn't vanish as she broke eye contact with her brother to acknowledge the other three, rob, jason and briana who she liked to label as her bonus family. smiling over at all three but rob especially, she couldn't do anything more to thank them than to just smile and blow them kisses as they supported her brother.

kameron was then accompanied suddenly by one of her nieces, jj, who was one of jensen and danneel's daughter's. looking up with sweet and soft eyes to her aunty, jj wanted to be held by her aunty kameron so, she relented lovingly. unlatching her grip from her sister-in-law but still remaining close, kameron opened her arms, leaned down and carefully and as silently as possible picked up her little niece jj and rested her on her lap, her head curling in on her chest and awkwardly but somehow comfortably resting on her aunty's shoulder.

"i loved you before i even knew your name, and i wanted to give you my heart."

kameron made sure to hug her niece tightly as rob sang that lyric as jensen listened intently, knowing it would mean even more to jensen now that he was a father to his beautiful little girl, jj. but, she then saw the version of her dad loving all of his kids before knowing their names when he and donna found out they were having each one of their beautiful kids. and she didn't know whether to smile or cry even more at that realisation.

throughout the verse, kameron kisses and squeezed little jj tightly as the little girl noticed her daddy on the stage. with a chubby finger pointing outward in the general eyesight of her father, jj turned to kameron. nodding her head, kameron confirmed to little jj that that was indeed her daddy on the stage right there. however, kameron could tell that jj knew that this wasn't a regular saturday night special performance or supernatural convention. jj could tell that this ceremony, or whatever it was in her little mind, wasn't an overly happy event. jj could hear people weeping, hear people blowing their noses as well as titters of small laughter at times. jj then noticed the look on her daddy's face, it was quite red and he was distressed and withdrawn. jj also noticed that her daddy was crying and upset. struggling to get through the song as his body trembled and his voice shook and jj watched intently as her baby brain tried to understand what was going on.

"but then you came back after leaving me one time, i knew that the heartache would start."

kameron continued to hold jj in her lap with danneel, jj's mommy, close on the other side as the performance, which seemed to go on forever but yet seemed to go by so quickly, continued. kameron always said she really adored rob's voice and this very moment and this very verse only just proved it to the youngest ackles sibling. as she wiped away one of her tears, jj seemed to notice the sudden movement and gave her aunty a worried look, her eyes moving away from her dad for a split moment. noticing that jj had seemed worried about her aunty, kameron smiled, giggling quietly and gave her niece a sweet little kiss to her head of hair, smoothing it over and giving her a hug, reassuring the toddler that she was okay and that she had nothing to worry about in her sweet little baby brain.

kameron even whispered to her niece that she was okay, "i'm alright jj, don't need to worry sweetpea," she whispered as she kissed jj's head again, looking up back to her brother only to notice that jensen had seen that whole thing happen

even with his face etched out in heartbreak and grief, jensen still found himself smiling at watching his daughter and his younger sister interacting at the funeral. noting that the last time he had looked up from focusing on the ground beneath him or his castmates, jj hadn't been sitting on her sister's lap but sitting a couple of spots away with her granddad, edward, danneel's dad.

"if i called out your name like a song, that was written for you, you alone. would you still hurt my pride?"

kameron, with jj in her arms, was in pure peace at a time when she thought she wouldn't find peace ever again as she really listened to the instrumental of the song as she also paid full attention to the words and the meaning of them. rubbing her hand up and down jj's back, to attempt to get her to fall asleep, kameron had a thought, wishing she herself could take a nap. since, even though she did have a moment earlier to close her eyes, it wasn't to sleep but to reflect and remember memories more so than to sleep.

kameron then thanked the heavens above that danneel and jj weren't going through this. even though it was devastating that kameron and jensen as well as their two other siblings, mackenzie and josh, had lost their dad. she suddenly thought of what if it happened to danneel and jensen had suddenly died without saying one last goodbye. it broke her heart to even think about the reversal of if it was her parents saying goodbye to their eldest son and eldest child.

thankfully though, kameron didn't stay in that thought or headspace for too long otherwise it would have made her drop her niece and run on stage to pull her brother in for a hug, resulting in most likely embarrassing him in front of literally the entirety of austin. so, she continued to hug her niece as she started to close her eyes and fall asleep, her dummy in her mouth so she wouldn't cry or make any noise. the fact that the song was slow and quite melancholy also assisted the toddler in falling asleep and keeping her asleep as if it was a crazier or louder song, jj would be struggling but with "please stay", jj was fast asleep in the comforting embrace of her favourite aunty kameron.

"oh hey, how i cried this time be different, please stay, please stay,"

more tears welled and streamed down kameron's cheeks silently as the last few lyrics of the song were being sung. wiping them away so they wouldn't drop onto jj's face and wake her up or make her worry about her aunty again, kameron smiled tearfully as she switched her attention from her niece back to her brother and three bonus siblings as they continued to sing.

all of a sudden, another memory of kameron came back to her. taking her back to her being sixteen and in london for her two-month summer intensive at the los angeles ballet academy, those last few lyrics really reminded her of a memory with her newfound ballet friends and then her dad and brother in the airport yet again.

kameron had been away in los angeles for about a month on her own at the los angeles ballet academy for the summer intensive and, honestly, she had really loved it. she knew she would love it but, because she was sixteen and was travelling alone, her fear and anxiety got the better of her. however, she has met some of the best people ever and is the best of friends with basically every single person at the summer intensive at the la ballet academy.

however, it was very quickly coming up to the last day of the intensive which meant that she was either going to be going home to pack for a scholarship to dance there or going home with the sadness that it may not be their time to be given the opportunity right at this moment and to return the following year. thankfully, she had her parents and siblings fly over to london to watch their daughter and sister perform so they could see their special girl in action doing what she did best before they'd all then fly back to dallas together as a family.

after her performance, kameron waited anxiously on stage to find out whether or not she'd be returning back to the la ballet academy with a scholarship or if she'd be flying back home to work harder so she could return back the following season.

holding hands with two fellow dancers on each side of her with another one, two steps to the left of her, she looked up as she heard her name being called out, "kameron ackles, elijah rhodes, cove leland and mackenzie lewis, could the four of you step forward please," the headmistress at the ballet school called out, the four teenagers, kameron, elijah, cove and mackenzie were holding hands so, without letting each other go, the four of them stepped forward

with their families watching in the far back of the auditorium, just hoping that what they were going to hear was positive news, the headmistress spoke up again, filling the silence quickly.

"kameron, mackenzie, cove and elijah, with great deliberation and thought, we have come to a decision with the four of you..." the headmistress of the la ballet academy trailed off which freaked out the four young dancers even more

continuing, the older lady continued, "...elijah and mackenzie, we have decided after much thought and deliberation that, unfortunately, darlings, we cannot give you two a scholarship and the opportunity to return back to dance with us for this upcoming season. we feel as though you two aren't ready and because you are both so young, the both of you only having just turned fifteen, we just know that next year, at sixteen when you guys return back you'll be even better. and i can promise you that you'll get into next year's season because all you guys need is just a little bit more work and just some more confidence and maturity and that'll come with age. elijah and mackenzie, you are both already such wonderful dancers but all you need is a little more confidence, a bit more technique work and some maturity and you'll be brilliant, i promise. thank you again, to both of you, for coming over here, it's been an absolute pleasure watching you dance this past two months and it's been amazing to meet you and your families. once again, we are so incredibly sorry, elijah and mackenzie but, hopefully, we'll see you next year and have you for next season, thank you again," the headmaster, miss raine, smiled empathetically as elijah and mackenzie, who kameron and cove, the other dancer, had grown really close with, smiled and took the rejection like absolute champs whereas kameron's eyes automatically filled with tears as cove comforted the slightly younger girl

"now, kameron and cove. you two gave us an easy decision the moment we first saw you two dance. and because you two are such beautiful dancers, there was no going back and forth about your guys' place here, so, it is with great pleasure and honour that we at the la ballet academy would love it if we could give the two of you a scholarship and a place here for this upcoming season!" the headmistress smiled brightly as she congratulated the two slightly older dancers, kameron and cove, who had been given scholarships and the opportunity to return back to the school for the following season

kameron couldn't believe it, of course, she knew she was more than an average ballet dancer but, never did she think she was good enough to actually be given the opportunity to spend close towards three years at the los angeles ballet academy so she could further her dancing abilities. the reason why she did the summer intensive for the last two months was that she wanted to give it a crack and see if ballet was really her true calling or maybe, like her brother jensen, there was something else that was going to take over kameron's life in the way acting took over jensen's life.

kameron and cove thanked the headmistress of the los angeles ballet academy profusely whilst elijah and mackenzie applauded their fellow ballet dancers in pure joy that they had made the cut for the next three-year season even though they weren't going to be able to join the school until the following year when the two of them, mackenzie and elijah, return back for next year's summer intensive.

now, the tears really started for kameron when she had to say goodbye to her new best friends. grateful that mobile phones were now created, she knew she would be able to text and call her friends, cove, mackenzie and elijah but, it was still sad that it wouldn't be until the next month that she'd see cove again but not know the next time she'd be able to catch up and see mackenzie and elijah since the both of them lived in alabama and new york.

kameron thankfully finished crying as she waved goodbye to her ballet friends and walked through the airport so she could go back home to dallas. and thankfully, she wouldn't be on the plane alone since she was with her parents, donna and alan and her siblings, jensen, josh and mackenzie. jensen was holding his sister's hand and comforting her whilst she still cried as the girl waved her final goodbyes to her friends, cove, mackenzie and elijah. she truly didn't want to go but, she knew she had to so she could prepare to return to the ballet school the next month.

smiling at that memory, looking behind her to see that sitting right behind her were the same three friends that she met and danced with back when they were sixteen, fifteen and seventeen, now that cove and kameron would be leaving the school later in the year now that their three years were over with the school, to pay their respects to their best friend's father. cove, mackenzie and elijah had all met alan ackles, as had all their parents and siblings and were absolutely devastated to hear that the man had passed away so suddenly. for the whole funeral, cove, the sweet girl, who was just a year older than kameron, had a soft hand on the grieving girl's back the whole time whilst mackenzie and elijah sat on either side of cove. at one point in the funeral, just before it started and everyone filed in, danneel had offered to move over to let the three best friends sit next to her sister-in-law but, lovingly, they declined as they knew it was the best thing to let kameron stay close to her family and danneel agreed, only if they sat directly behind kameron in the pew behind the family. so, that's what they did. they sat in the pew directly behind the first pew and comforted their friend from behind whilst kameron would comfort her family at the same time.

"please stay, don't go, please stay, don't go,"

it was coming to the very end of the song and kameron was still holding her niece jj as she continued to sleep whilst cove, mackenzie and elijah continued to comfort their friend whilst kameron helped to comfort her sister-in-law danneel after she had suddenly broken down into tears. tom, the little boy of jared and genevieve padalecki, had noticed and heard his aunty cry and wanted to move over to comfort her. this then generated some sweet noises of "awws" and coos as the toddler tried his best to comfort his upset aunty. even the group on stage had noticed tom trying to comfort danneel and it honest to god broke their hearts, especially jensen's.

as kameron scooched closer to her sister-in-law, trying to keep jj asleep at the same time, she attempted to help tom in comforting danneel. tom had thankfully gotten some cuddles from his aunty once danneel had realised what her little nephew was trying to do, smiling small, tom seemed to smile, his dummy moving a tad bit as a victorious smile grew on the little boy's face at the happiness that he successfully comforted his aunty. however, kameron continued to comfort danneel even though tom did initially help the most as the sisters-in-law looked back up to their brother and husband as he then brought the microphone up to his mouth for the final time, to utter the last lyric of the song.

as even more tears built in jensen's eyes, he sang the very last word of the song,

"please stay,"

and as everyone expected and watched with broken hearts and tears of their own, jensen once again broke down in tears again and before any of the tears could fall, jason, briana and rob rallied around jensen and pulled him in for a tight group hug. jensen thought he couldn't cry anymore, granted it had only been a week, not even, since the death of their father but, jensen genuinely thought he had cried himself dry but, clearly, he hadn't. so he just cried as his whole body trembled as he felt his three best friends hug him as tightly as they physically could. they knew they couldn't fix the grief. but, all they could do was just be there for their older best friend and just support him in any way they were physically able to. whether that was hugging him whilst jensen cried, taking care of his family, taking part in the funeral or even possibly dedicating the rest of supernatural to alan ackles.

the funeral had wrapped up pretty soon after the "please stay" performance which meant that it would give kameron the chance to actually properly comfort and hug her older brother. he had done such an amazing job during the funeral, especially during his eulogy, which she, mackenzie and josh were up at the altar with him for and when he performed with jason, rob and briana that kameron wanted to let her older brother know.

kameron knew that jensen had been under so much stress since he was the oldest son of the family and had to be the one to help plan the funeral and to make sure everything would go smoothly, she knew that jensen needed time to breathe and properly cry. and even though he did cry during the funeral today, it wasn't a proper cry and it was having to be interrupted by his eulogy and by the fact he had to perform with jason, rob and briana not once but twice.

so, once kameron had seen everyone out of the funeral off, letting her friends cove, mackenzie and elijah know that she'd catch up with them later, she saw jensen sitting down in the front pew that the family had been sitting in earlier.

walking through the church again and to her brother, kameron wordlessly slid next to jensen, leaving some space in between them and spoke up, "you did a brilliant job with the eulogy and the two songs, jay. dad would be exceptionally proud of what you just did up there," kameron whispered with a small sniffle, her nose clogged up from the crying she had done earlier as jensen sniffled as well but because he was trying to suppress another cycle of tears

"thanks, kami, you did a brilliant job taking care of jj and danneel so, thank you for that," jensen mumbled with another sniffle as kameron smiled softly

"no problem jay, jj wanted to sit with me and danneel needed comfort and because you weren't there, i knew i was the closest person to do it. also, what made you decide to finally sing "please stay"? dad had been nagging you to sing that song for ages," kameron giggled softly at the end as jensen too laughed albeit with some tears as he nodded his head, still trying to prevent his tears

"exactly that, kami, dad had been nagging me for ages to sing it and, i just decided, if any time was the right time, it would be today at his funeral. as i said beforehand, me and the guys had only sung it together a couple of times before but, we thought it sounded good enough so, we decided to sing it again," jensen shrugged, his hand coming under his nose as kameron smiled with a small head-nod

"well, i'm glad you guys performed it because it was an absolutely gorgeous version..."

"...even with my horrendous shaky, crying mess of a voice?" jensen interrupted as kameron rolled her eyes and giggled

"yes, jay, even with your "horrendous shaky, crying mess of a voice". honestly, i think all that emotion in your voice made the song even better. it made it more personal and honestly, even though you did cry, it was still a beautiful performance. i don't think i had ever seen josh and mackenzie sit so still hearing you sing until today's two and i think that's saying something..." kameron trailed off as she saw the way her brother's face changed, jensen was about to burst out into tears again and properly this time

so, thinking quickly, in a bid to help comfort her brother, kameron slid her hand out in the space that was in between the brother and sister and grabbed jensen's tightly. however, it didn't comfort jensen at all and it only made the tears even worse. the other hand that kameron wasn't holding had come up to jensen face to cover it as he loudly sobbed. then, all kameron could do was to pull her older brother in for a hug whilst they sat on these empty pews in the now empty providence church.

however, to kameron's shock and heartbreak, as she pulled jensen in for a hug, she only had one arm since jensenhad pulled his hand that was holding kameron's to his heart as kameron pulled into the hug. so, it was as though kameron was helping jensen hold his heart together and if she hadn't cried her eyes out during the funeral service and the songs, "hallelujah" and "please stay" kameron would have also burst out into tears alongside her brother.

hugging her brother as tightly as she could, pulling him closer to her so he was sort of laying down, thankful his suit jacket had been taken off, kameron rested her chin on her brother's brunette birds nest.

as he cried, jensen tried to speak up, "kam...kami, it hurts so bad!" jensen sobbed as kameron closed her eyes, only able to nod softly so she didn't hurt jensen's head with her chin, understanding her brother's emotional pain and his grief

"i know it hurts, jensen, i know!" kameron whispered as she continued to hold her brother tightly and as jensen continued to hold his sister's and his clasped hands to his chest tightly

"dad's gone, he's not here to come to get us anymore..." if anything jensen said during his eulogy broke kameron's heart, but she was wrong, hearing her brother sob out this in a whisper like he was a child was next level heartbreaking

"...no, he isn't jensen, i know and i'm so sorry," kameron whispered, her eyes closed as she squeezed her brother even tighter as for the first time, she was having to be the older sibling and comfort the older one instead of the one being comforted

thankfully, after a few more minutes together, kameron had successfully comforted jensen and got his tears to stop. kameron eventually, once satisfied and okay enough that jensen was okay, went back over to cove, mackenzie and elijah and caught up with them since it had been maybe, five years since she had caught up with them last. kameron then caught up with her mom and siblings josh and mackenzie as well as catching up with her parents-in-law. then after that, she got some cuddles from jj and tom and also got some hugs from jason, rob, briana, jared, gen and other supernatural cast members before it was time for everyone to part ways and watch as their father's coffin was exited from the church where it would briefly stop at the family home.

leaving for one last time, stepping into one of the black cars, kameron murmured the very last poignant lyric of "please stay" as she finally had the chance to close her eyes and get some well-deserved sleep and rest.

"don't go, please stay,"

- - -

this was very sombre to write but i enjoyed it nevertheless. basically, the whole time i was writing this, i was listening to "please stay" so, i suggest you do that whilst reading this as well. i do apologise also if it was a little bit messy but, that's just how it came out and evolved as i was writing it.

ok ily bye xx

wc; 6175

#jensen ackles #angst #funeral #please stay #supernatural cast

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queen-of-deans-booty · 5 years ago

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With Just A Little Effort...

Characters: Briana Buckmaster x Reader, minor characters

Word Count: 1,524

Warnings: some relationship/long-distance angst, but fluff at the end

Summary: Briana is always away on tour, and you’re stuck in the office at work. Will you two make it work, or will your relationship crumble under the intense pressure of long-distance relationships?

Beta: none

Author’s Note: If you have any requests, please send them in!

This is the December 3rd fic for my 25 days of RPF Christmas with the prompt: Won’t Be Home for the Holidays

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

There was a time when you and your friends went on your annual hike, and the mountain was so steep that it almost knocked the wind out of you. You came home after that trip with blood in your shoes from how much they hurt--well, it felt like your feet were bleeding. Now that trip was hard just like the time you ran a small marathon. It was nothing like the big leagues, but something small for breast cancer awareness that you absolutely loved even if you were so sore afterward. It was also very hard for you when you got into a minor car accident a year ago when some woman wasn’t paying attention to her surroundings and crashed into the back of your car.

There are many more events that have been hard for you, but all of those pale in comparison to what you’re going through now. Your girlfriend, the beautiful Briana Buckmaster, has been away all holiday. She’s on tour around the country with some of her good friends, and you couldn’t be happier for her. Hearing about her success over the phone brings a smile to your face, especially when you think about it. The hard part is seeing her smile on the photos she posts, hearing her laughter through the videos she sends and watching other people embrace her and tell her how good of a job she’s doing.

The hard part is realizing those people are doing what you’re supposed to be doing. It’s supposed to be you hugging her and congratulating her. It’s supposed to be you who gets to hug her and kiss her when something great happens. Instead, she’s with her friend and having the time of her life without you.

Sure, she calls and Facetimes every night, but it’s not the same. She’ll ask you about your day, and all you can say to her is how your boss said something rude, or how you had a computer jam and had to do all the paperwork by hand. You ask her about her day, and she goes off on a tangent about how fun it is to be on stage, how her supporters (she hates calling them fans) are always cheering her on, and how relaxing the end of the day is. You can’t help but get jealous of her. She can see it in your eyes even if you deny it all the time. You try to be happy for her, but sometimes it doesn’t show.

She offered you to come with her, and under any other circumstances, you would. However, your work doesn’t allow you to travel and keep your job at the same time. It definitely puts a stressor on your relationship, but you try not to let it win. The Christmas holiday is coming up, and soon she’ll be in your arms for a little longer than a month. She should be calling you about the details of her flight any minute now, so to pass the time, you start playing home videos of the two of you. Your favorite video is when you two went to the beach a few summers back in Malibu. It was sunny, the weather was perfect, and you had your lady with you.

“We’re here in lovely Malibu where the sun is always shining and the party just doesn’t stop,” Briana laughed into the camera she’s holding.

“All day and all night, motherfuckers,” you shouted from your spot in the background.

“And that foul-mouthed pretty lady over there is my beautiful girlfriend, Y/N,” she introduced you as she swiveled the camera to face you.

“Watch this!” you grinned and got yourself ready to do a cartwheel. You got into the stance and took off, landing on your hand the wrong way. You crumbled down to the ground with a groan that turned into laughter.

“That was terrible. Are you okay?” she giggled.

“I’m good!” you held out both your thumbs with a smile.

“I love you. Even if you’re not flexible.”

A tear slides down your cheek at the fond memory. Your phone binged which means you’re getting a Facetime request. Upon seeing your girlfriend’s name, you wipe the tear from your face so she won’t suspect anything is wrong. This is the call you’ve been waiting for, and honestly, you could use some good news. You connect your phone with the TV so you can see her on a bigger scale.

“Hey baby, were you crying?” Briana asks when she sees your face. You could never fool her no matter how hard you tried.

“Please tell me you’re coming home. I really need good news right now,” you plead.

“I… won’t be coming home for the holidays. We’re swarmed here. Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

Just like that, a new wave of tears flows down your cheeks. You fist your hair with your fingers and place your elbows on your knees.

“Please don’t cry, babe, I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can.”

“When are you going to be back?” you sniffle, pushing your hair back and crossing your arms.

“Sometime after January.”

“You’ve been gone since September, Bri,” you cry softly.

“I know, but I can’t leave now. Trust me, you know I would if I could.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you sigh.

“Are you going to be okay?”

“No, but what else can I do? I can’t leave work, and you just said you can’t. I-I miss you.”

“I miss you too. More than you could ever know.”

“Hey! Briana! We ten five minutes until stage time!” someone from the background shouts.

“Y/N,” she trails off.

“Go, have fun. I’ll talk to you later,” you cut her off and end the call. It’s not fair to be treating her this way, you’re just upset you’re not going to be able to see her for the holidays. Work will keep you busy anyway, so you’re not staying at home all the time and just crying. At least at work, you get to work hard to pretend that everything’s okay.

You walk into work the next morning sluggishly. There is no energy inside of you to deal with anything. You and Briana had a long talk once she was alone in her hotel room. She understood how upset you are, and despite this little kink in your relationship, you two still love each other dearly.

Work is going to be hectic, you can already tell by the way your coworkers bustle around the office and papers in their hands. At least the computers are working just fine so you don’t have to waste your time writing everything down. Last time that happened, you had a hand cramp for the rest of that day.

As soon as you set your things down on your desk, your boss calls you into her office. She normally doesn’t talk to you unless something serious happens, and you go over everything that you did this past week that might prompt her to call you. You hadn’t done anything wrong, didn’t say anything wrong, and you did all of your paperwork correctly with minimal mistakes. Why could she possibly want with you in her office? What did you do?

“You wanted to see me?” you ask when you knock on her open door.

“Yes, please, sit,” she smiles.

“Did I do something wrong?” you ask, doing what she told you.

“No, no, nothing like that. I wanted to run something by you.”

“What is it, ma’am?”

“I’m granting you the rest of the month off. Paid, of course,” she grins.

“Wait, what?”

“Yes, you heard me correctly,” she laughs.

“But, why? Did I fill something out wrong? Do you not want me working here anymore?” you ask when your mind goes to the worst possible situation.

“No, Y/N, you’re not in trouble. You’re a star employee.”

“If I may ask, why are you giving this to me?”

“Briana called me, and we had a little chat. I can see how much you miss her. Consider this a Christmas present. You’re cleared to come back the second week of January.”

“Are you serious?” you whisper.

“Deadly. She asked me to give you this,” she explains and hands you a plane ticket to where Briana was staying.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” you gasp emotionally.

“Have a good Christmas, Y/N. We can handle things around here without you for the month.”

“Thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome,” she smiles.

You get up and leave her office, grabbing your things on the way out. Briana must be doing a soundcheck or something big, which is why you decide to text her instead of call. Pulling out your phone on your way to the car, you sent her a quick text filled with love.

You’re something special, Briana. I love you so much. I’m heading to the airport now.

You don’t even care that you don’t have bags. You can always buy some more when you get to her. Your excitement of finally seeing her after so long clouds your rational side.

Anything for you, my love. Merry Christmas.

Wanna get tagged? Add yourself to this document! If your tag doesn’t work, find out why!

there are no briana tags since i haven’t written for her but they’re up now! i’ll write more for her if you guys want me to!

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family-business-one-shots · 6 years ago

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I’m With Stupid

Relationship: SPN Cast x Sister!Reader

Words: 1,723

Summary: Things don’t quite go according to plan at your first convention appearance.

Warnings: fainting, hunger, dehydration, lightheadedness

Tags: @winchesters-favorite-girl @bellero @assbutt-still-in-hell @percussiongirl2017 @iamafishandigosplish @hi-my-name-is-riley

A/N: Wow, I actually wrote something! It’s a miracle! (insert laughing emoji here) This is loosely based on a true story that happened to me recently. Not at a con, but that’s why it’s loosely based. Hope you enjoy it!

If everyone in the world kept a running list of all the stupid things they’d done in their lives, yours would most likely be one of the longest. It wasn’t totally your fault, you just tended to do some really dumb things at the worst possible times.

Like right now.

One second you felt perfectly fine, and the next, you were starting to feel lightheaded and shaky. You tried to hide it as best you could, especially since you didn’t want to upset the fans, but if you didn’t fix this soon, things weren’t going to be pretty.

It really didn’t help that this was your first ever Supernatural convention appearance.

“You doing okay?”

Misha’s voice shook you out of your thoughts. The two of you had a tiny break during your group photo op while the next people in line got their props ready. You glanced over at him, taking in his concerned expression.

“I’m fine,” you told him over the music. Sure, you were lying through your teeth, but he didn’t need to know that.

His features were skeptical, but before he could say anything else, more fans stepped up to take their picture with you, and the conversation ended.

Once your group op was finished, you thought you might actually have a chance to head back to the green room and grab something to eat, but luck wasn’t on your side. A lovely volunteer told you about a sudden schedule change that meant you had back to back autos and ops with almost no break, on top of your solo panel and meet & greet. In spite of your exhaustion and empty stomach, you agreed to it. It was stupid, sure, but you didn’t want to complain and seem like a whiny bitch. Plus, if you said something, it might mess everyone else up.

Long couldn’t even begin to describe the rest of your day.

One thing after another, after another, after another; you felt like you were running around like a crazy person. If you weren’t at your autos, you were in solo photo ops, then your forty-five minute meet & greet, then in another group photo op -- it seemed like it was never-ending.

By the time your solo panel came around, you were practically running on empty. The one thing that was going to get you through the next hour was the thought of finally slinking back to the green room and getting more than two minutes to relax and eat something.

“You guys are in for a real treat today!” Rich told the audience.

From where you stood backstage, you could hear their cheers, and your heart fluttered a little. Whether it was from the thought that they were excited to see you or your waning strength, you didn’t know, but you couldn’t focus on it.

“I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so wonderfully pleasant and sweet in my life,” Rob said. “Do you, Rich?”

The band began to play as Richard responded, “No I haven’t, Robbie. And now it’s time for all of you to meet her, too! You know her as Jenna Kershaw, best friend of the Winchester brothers, here making her first ever con appearance, ladies and gentlemen please welcome Y/N Y/L/N!”

That was your cue. Forcing your unsteady legs to move, you pushed back the curtain and bounded up the steps leading to the stage. Despite your fatigue, a huge smile found its way onto your face as you were greeted by thousands of screams and clapping hands.

“Thank you, guys!” you said. As Rich and Rob left the stage, you grabbed a chair to your right and brought it front and center. That might buy you a little time. “How are y’all doing today?”

The crowd screamed their reply, and the panel had begun. People asked you tons of questions, mostly original but with some generic ones thrown in, and you did your best to answer them as well as you could. Everyone was so delightful to talk to, and the audience helped you push through and try to make it to the end.

Everything came to a halt pretty quickly, though.

You’d lasted a good half hour before things started falling apart. As you listened to one of the questions, your vision started swimming and the top of your head was on fire. Trying not to show it, you shook your head a little to focus back in.

“Uh, are you okay?” the fan in line asked, her voice etched with worry.

“What? Oh, uh, yeah, I’m fine,” you assured her with a tight lipped smile. “Could you just repeat your question for me please?”

The fan replied, “O-okay, sure. My question was who do you think is more protective of Jenna, Sam or Dean?”

“Well, I think I’m the most protective of her,” you said to the amusement of the crowd, “but if I--if I had to pick, I… I would probably say--”

It was as though your lungs couldn’t fill with air fast enough, leaving you gasping. Black started filling the edges of your vision, slowly creeping in until you could hardly see. You thought someone was saying something, to you or at you, but all you could hear was a dull ringing. With the thought of taking a small break on your mind, just for five minutes, you stood up, and then you fell asleep.

When you woke up, you were being held in strong arms, carried bridal style backstage, to the green room, where they helped you sit in one of the tall chairs. There was a flurry of activity around you, people running around and shouting, which only served to further confuse you.

“Here, drink this,” a voice said.

Someone handed you a water bottle that you gratefully accepted. A shaking hand uncapped it and put it up to your lips, letting the cool liquid wash down your parched throat. Another voice called for a second water bottle, to be placed on the back of your neck. After a few moments, you started regaining a little of your strength.

“Y/N, can you hear me?”

You turned toward the voice and saw, once your vision finally cleared, Rob staring at you with obvious concern. Giving a slight nod, you watched his features melt into relief.

“What happened?” you asked, your words a little slurred.

“You passed out,” Rob told you. “EMTs are on their way right now, so just sit tight, okay?”

You tried to say something to him in response, but someone was pushing the water bottle back up to your mouth.

It took less than two minutes for the medical team to arrive. They crowded around you, firing a bunch of questions at you. How do you feel? How old are you? Have you been drinking? When’s the last time you ate? Your head would have been spinning if you hadn’t already been disoriented.

Finally, they seemed to get the information they needed and left you alone, talking instead with some of the others to find out what happened from a different perspective. Before long, they were heading out the door, leaving you with your friends and the convention staff.

“Y/N, do you know how this happened?” Kim asked, handing you a little food to tide you over.

You shrugged. “Probably because I haven’t had anything to eat or drink since this morning.”

“This morning?” Misha repeated. “Sweetheart, that was hours ago! Why didn’t you come back here and eat something?”

Your face burned as you replied, “I didn’t have time. With the schedule change I had all my ops and autos and stuff back to back all day, so I never had a chance to grab anything, plus I didn’t want to disappoint any of the fans, especially since this is my first con, but now I’ve just screwed everything up as usual and they’re gonna hate me if they didn’t already and--”

“Hey, kid, breathe,” Briana cut you off, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “No one’s gonna hate you for something you had no control over.”

“But that’s the thing -- I could have controlled it,” you told her. “I could have said no to the schedule change.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Lowering your eyes, you fiddled with the bottle cap in your hand. “Because I didn’t wanna mess anybody up. If I said no it would have screwed up everybody else and I didn’t wanna be the cause of that.”

An awkward hush fell over the group surrounding you, broken only by your occasional chewing. You hated that you were so vulnerable right then, so open and raw, even if you trusted these people. It made you feel weak, and you hated feeling weak, which is exactly what got you into the mess in the first place.

Just then, Rich came back to the green room, looking a little rushed. As his eyes fell on you, relief washed over his face.

“How you doin’?”

“Good,” you said. “Better.”

“That’s good to hear,” he said with a smile. “Do you wanna stay back here and take it easy or head out and finish your panel, just for a couple minutes?”

“I think she should stay here and--”

“No.”

Everyone in the room turned toward you, an array of emotions displayed in their expressions.

You sighed, saying, “I wanna finish the panel. Those people out there didn’t shell out tons of money to see me faint and give up.”

“You’re not giving up, sweetheart,” Rob assured you. “No one would blame you for staying back here and taking it easy.”

“I don’t care. I’m finishing the panel. Rich, can you give me a hand?”

It took a bit longer than you’d wanted, but with Richard and Rob’s help, you made it back to the stage, where you were greeted with enthusiastic cheers and shouts of “We love you!” Rob grabbed you your chair from before, along with a much needed water bottle, and you were ready to go.

“Hey guys,” you greeted sheepishly. “I should probably apologize for before. I was kinda dumb and didn’t eat anything all day, which is why I passed out. I’m fine now, but I’m sorry if I scared y’all.”

The audience screamed their assurances, making you smile.

“Alright,” you said, “now where were we?”

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kazosa · 7 years ago

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We Were Just Friends, pt 4

Summary: Saturday at the convention. Reader and Briana chat about the night before. Reader and Rich meet for brunch and dinner.

Words: 3300 (whaaaat?!)

Warnings: language, super fluff

Tags: @aquivercactus @lefthologramdeer @byereallife @dragongirl420 @nobodys-baby-now @sorenmarie87 @soythedemonqueen @sumara62

Previous PART 3

Saturday was always the real test of your endurance. The con went non-stop, all day. Your wake-up call came far too quickly. Taking significant effort to actually pick up the phone, you grudgingly answered.

“’ello?” you answered.

“Get your ass up, bitch!” It was Briana.

Eyes still closed, you smiled, “You talk so sweet to me.”

“Meet me at the gym in 20, got it?” she ordered.

“Ma’am, yes ma’am,” you answered. Briana was your con work-out partner. You helped each other keep to your workouts and routines. The jetlag could be terrible and, for some reason, working out helped to combat the effects.

Seventeen minutes later, you were walking into the gym and Briana was already there, waiting for you.

“You better tell me everything!” she said as soon as she saw you.

“Sure you wanna know?” you teased.

“Ugh, gross,” she got on the treadmill. “A little discretion, please.”

“I don’t know what happened. I still can’t believe it was real. I got on the elevator and he was there. Maybe he was coming to get me? He asked me to be his date for the night,” you said, Briana ‘awed’ and you started your treadmill. “I told him we could just do how we always do, ya know? Go as friends. He said we could do that if that was what I wanted, but he wanted it to be a date.” Briana was listening intently. “I agreed, and you saw us together. He held my hand and walked me back to my room. I’d teased him about a proper courtship, but I meant it, too… So,” your cheeks flushed remembering, “he kissed me goodnight. Said he’d better go and that he’d see me later.”

“Oh my god, (Y|N)!” she squealed. “Did he make your toes curl? Did he light up your vag? Oh my god! You guys are finally together!”

You knew your face was bright red, but if anyone asked, you were going to blame it on the treadmill. Briana was still walking and looking at you, waiting for you to answer her questions.

“Oh god, B…” you could barely keep the giggles away, “he’s such a good kisser. Not gonna lie, my vag approved.”

“Holy shit, babe!” she said. “You gonna make him wait? Hell, it’s Rich, make him wait.”

“I promised myself I wasn’t going to chase men anymore, so when the time is right, it’ll happen.”

“Do us all a favor, just keep traveling with us. It’ll happen. That man has been a miserable piece of shit without you.”

You threw a look of disbelief at her.

“I’m not even exaggerating. Sad-sack city,” she went on. “It’s not just him though. We always miss the people that can’t come or whatever.”

Briana didn’t like to get gushy about feelings and neither did you. You knew what she meant, you’d missed them all, too.

“I got to hang out with Gil and Matt a few times, so it wasn’t all bad. I missed my Supernatural loves, though. …Matt and Gil sure are dirty fuckers. God, I love you guys.”

“Good, cuz you’re stuck with us, especially if you and Dick are a thing,” she winked at you. “I’ll talk to the powers that be if I have to. So, did you guys make plans for later? Are you going to dinner with us before SNS?”

“Yeah, I said he could take me to dinner, just us, and we could meet everyone later for drinks,” you said.

“I’m happy for you, baby,” she said sincerely. “Glad you’re back, too.”

If you didn’t go get Rich for brunch, he’d probably be late and have to rush to get something to eat. To spare Rob a little torment that Rich would surely inflict, you text him that you were on your way to Rich’s room to get him moving.

“You owe me two months, but I forgive you. See you soon,” he text back. Poor guy, they could be relentless on each other.

Standing outside Rich’s door, you banged on it as hard as you could and quickly stepped to the side, so he couldn’t see you through the peephole. There was a thump from inside the room and muffled cuss words met your ears. You banged on the door again, just as it opened.

“Who the fu…” he opened the door.

You leaned on your shoulder against the wall, snickering.

“Mornin’, sunshine,” you giggled.

He turned to see you. Clearly, he’d just rolled out of bed. His hair was a mess, he didn’t have on his glasses, and was missing a shirt. From what you could see, you were unsure if he was wearing anything at all.

“You decent?” you asked, still smiling.

“Shit,” he said disappearing inside. “Just one sec.”

You chuckled and stuck your foot in the door, waiting for his “okay.”

“Okay,” he called. As you stepped inside, he said, “How late am I?”

You looked at your watch quickly. “Not too bad,” you told him.

He was wearing a pair of shorts, which surprised you that he even had any. You’d only ever seen him wear pants. He was bustling about his room gathering clothes and toiletries, so he could get ready.

“Time for a shower?” he asked.

“Haul balls, Dick,” you told him.

He was gonna give you a hard time when he realized you’d actually gotten to him early. Rich liked to get his sleep and was a bit of a night owl, like you. Waking up earlier than was absolutely necessary was not something he liked to do. The bathroom door closed, and you heard the shower start right after.

While he was in the bathroom, you took a seat in the open desk chair and surveyed his room. The desk was filled with the chaos that was his life. It reflected how his mind worked. It never failed to amaze you how on the surface, he looked cool as a cucumber, but on the inside, his mind was working at a million miles a minute. He was constantly working and by what he had laid out, it looked like he was going to direct a Supernatural episode again soon.

The bed wasn’t a disaster, but you did note that he’d spread out overnight. You’d rousted him from his room before, but you’d never really paid much attention to the inside. Usually, when you got to his door, he was mostly ready to go.

About ten minutes later, he was out of the bathroom, nearly ready. He was fastening his watch and reached for his coat.

“You about ready, gorgeous?” he asked. “Always waiting on you.”

“I’ve been ready, ass,” you answered, getting up from your chair.

Rich opened the door for you, “Honestly, woman.”

You pointed at his chest, “So.” tap “Mouthy.” tap

He grabbed your hand and let the door close as he pulled you to him.

“Missed you,” he breathed out as his demeanor changed.

Your bodies were pressed together as he held you. Leaning back a little, your hand went to his longer strands of hair that fell behind his ear, your fingertips gliding through his hair.

He went on, “I shouldn’t have let you go.”

You were a little confused but feeling playful, “But you were being a proper gentleman.”

“I didn’t mean last night,” he clarified. “I should never have left your house.”

He was talking about leaving your house when he stayed in your guest room for a week after finding out about Jaci and Brady. How was it that he could always give you butterflies?

Your hand brushed his cheek. “It’s okay, though,” you assured him. “Things have worked out.”

It had been harder staying away from Rich as much as you had in the last year than it had been going through the divorce from Brady. Not seeing Rich between conventions, not spending all of your free time with him at the conventions…it was best for the divorce proceedings, but it had sucked, bad. Talking on the phone, when you weren’t with him, was tough, too, it wasn’t the same as going to each other’s houses to hang out. Cutting yourself off from your best friend, when you needed him most, was gut-wrenching. The last thing you wanted to do was rush him, but your impatient side wanted him to love you the way you loved him, right now. Loving him as long as you had, it was getting tiring carrying the torch on your own.

“Things would be so much better now,” he was regretful.

You smoothed back his hair again. He looked so handsome in his scruffy beard and new glasses. You’d helped him pick them out during a video chat call.

“Hey,” you said softly, “none of that. This was how it had to be. We’re here now. Our timing was always off, but we’re finally on the same track, right?”

“I guess we should go eat,” he suggested.

Brunch with your friends went as it usually did, lots of chatter, good food, and friendly ribbing on all sides. Once you’d all eaten, you had to go your separate ways and Rich made you promise that you’d come by the green room to see him whenever you could get away. You always tried, but you liked to tell your convention stories from the point of view of the spectator, which meant you were all over the place. Your convention days, like Saturday, were spent watching the panels, taking notes and pictures of the guests and interviewing convention goers. You were planning to try something different for SNS, though, and Rich had nearly discovered your plan.

The idea to surprise Rich at SNS by going out on stage to sing with everyone on the last song had come to you at your last convention. It was no big deal. You just didn’t want to embarrass yourself. You’d had dinner with Jensen after a practice session with him and Jason at Jason’s house. You knew you couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, and if anyone could help you sing better, it was Jason and Jensen. Jensen had borrowed Jason’s car to take you out to dinner. He had to go to Vancouver the next day and needed to get back to Jason’s house, so he dropped you at Rich’s house without going inside. Rich, of course, had seen Jensen pulling out of the driveway and that had started the green monster showing up.

There was a three-hour break before the SNS and you were going to get the most out of it. You went back to your room and started picking out our clothes that you were going to wear for your date with Rich. He was going to “pick you up” from your room and from there, you didn’t know what was going to happen, but you prepared for… whatever may happen. You zipped your clothes into a garment bag for later and waited for Rich to get you.

Thankfully, you didn’t have to wait too long. Your nerves didn’t have a chance to get to you. Telling yourself that it was just a normal dinner and that there was nothing to be nervous about was actually helping, right up until you heard the knock on the door. Fairly well springing up from your spot in front of the TV, you had to make yourself slow down as you went to answer the door.

Taking a deep breath, you unlocked the door and saw your best friend smiling back at you.

“Hey gorgeous,” he grinned. “Might I take you to dinner?”

There were those damned butterflies again… “Um, yes, just let me grab my garment bag.”

“Garment bag?” he followed you just inside the door.

“Yeah, I want to wear something special tonight and I don’t want to ruin it by slopping food on it. Thought I could change in your room and we could go to the show together.”

“Oh, great. Perfect. I’ll take it. Ready?” he said.

You smiled at him. He was so wonderful, in your eyes. He spoke fast like that when he was nervous or being a smart-alec. You handed him the garment bag and took his arm once you got outside your room. He led you toward the elevator bank and pushed the ‘up’ button.

“Wouldn’t it be something if a little scout and an old man with a walker were in the elevator,” he asked.

Catching his reference, you said, “I’d be more impressed if it were Ellie and Carl. I mean, clearly, you’re Carl, but I’m definitely not Russell, though the age difference is there.”

“Ouch,” he said, feigning hurt. There was a small moment of quiet between you as you waited for the elevator to arrive. “Nah, you’re my Ellie.”

The elevator dinged, and the doors opened for you. You caught your beaming reflection in the elevator walls as he pulled you inside with him. He laid the garment bag on the floor of the elevator before pulling you to him for a kiss. Your knees felt like they might not be able to hold you up any longer as his tongue swirled with yours, lighting you up, once again. Eventually, he had to let you go.

“Wanted to do that all day,” he mumbled as he picked up the garment bag and the elevator stopped on his floor. “C’mon gorgeous.”

Still trying to recover, the doors almost closed before you came to your senses.

“Where are we going?” you asked as he led you to his room.

“By strange coincidence, we are going to chez Dick this evening,” he carded his door and opened it for you to step inside.

“Awfully presumptuous, don’t you think, Dick?” you said.

“Well, we don’t have time to go out, and I didn’t want to rush dinner. I thought we could have a nice time here,” he said.

It was then that you looked around his room and realized that it was very neat and tidy. All of his notes and computer were put away. In the middle of his suite, the table was set up with a white cloth, a small bundle of flowers in a vase, and two candles.

“Oh Rich,” your voice barely more than a whisper.

He hung your garment bag in the wardrobe that was near the bathroom and gently moved you closer to the table. He pulled out your chair for you and got you seated.

“In the interest of saving time, I took the liberty of ordering for you. I hope you don’t mind,” he said.

Who was this man? Did all men do this, or had you just won the lottery? Brady took you out to dinner, but he never did anything like this. Rich had even gotten flowers in your favorite color. Had he done that knowing or was it just luck? And he ordered for you?

“What did you order?” you asked.

“Don’t you trust me, (Y|N)?” he teased. “I think after all this time, if anyone is going to know you, it’s me.”

You couldn’t deny that. “This is all very nice, Rich. I gotta say, I’m impressed.”

The two of you talked and discussed what the set list looked like for the show until the knock at the door came from room service. Rich excused himself to get the door for the hotel staff. Your mind briefly flashed to that Kings of Con episode and a fantastic day for you on set. When the staff member took the cover off the dishes, you laughed at Rich’s choice for you. He was spot on, it was your favorite, go-to meal. You waited for him to sit back down before you dug in.

“So, how’d I do?” he wanted to know, his eyebrow cocked at you, a knowing smirk on his face.

“I think maybe you do know me,” you assented and took a bite.

After that dinner went smoothly and before you even realized, your food was gone, and Rich’s alarm to get going sounded. Rich didn’t have much to do as far as getting ready for the show. All he really did was change his shirt. You, however, grabbed the garment bag from the wardrobe and went into the bathroom to change. It didn’t take you long to get into your outfit, but you did need help. Stepping out of the bathroom, you looked for Rich to help you.

He didn’t know what he expected, but he hoped like hell that the night wouldn’t be a total disaster. He’d kissed her the night before and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. All day, he’d seen her flitting about, talking to people, taking pictures. She’d come by and give him a quick hug, not anything too out of the ordinary. All he’d wanted to do all day was to see if the kiss the night before had been a fluke. He’d taken his opportunity in the elevator and he found out that it was even better the second time around. He thought for sure that it would be weird, but it wasn’t, it was fantastic.

Just like always, dinner had been great. He’d gotten her favorite food and drink for dinner and the conversation was just as easy as it usually was. It had been a huge relief, for both of them, he suspected. He was riding pretty high as he went to change his shirt. (Y|N) was next to change and she grabbed her garment bag to head into the bathroom. He had no idea what she had in there, but when she stepped out of the bathroom there was nothing in the world that could have prepared him for what he saw. Only one time, in the ten years he’d known her, had he ever seen her in a dress, and that was on her wedding day. She stepped out of the bathroom wearing a black dress, like what Audrey Hepburn would wear. He was staring, and he didn’t care.

“Rich?” she said. “Will you button me up? I can’t reach all of the buttons.”

She went over to where he sat in one of the arm chairs, sitting on his lap, her bare back open to him.

“You’re killing me here, gorgeous,” he said, not trusting his hands to stay PG.

“Are the buttons too small?” she asked, seemingly unaware of the torture she was putting him through.

His fingertips brushed her warm skin as he fastened the buttons. What he really wanted to do was feel all of her skin, soft and warm under his touch and to let her know the sweet torture she was unleashing on him. The buttons finally done, she got up from his lap like nothing had happened. “Mother of Christ,” he thought. “This is not just a fluke.”

By the time she had put on a delicate silver necklace and earrings, he’d calmed down enough to not embarrass himself and stood up from the armchair. (Y|N) was smoothing her dress and checking herself in the mirror. Why he had never seen the way she lit up when she saw him? How had he never noticed? Maybe he had and told himself it wasn’t real. He went to stand behind her in the mirror, when she saw him there, her eyes lit up again and she smiled at his reflection.

“How do I look?” she asked.

He put his arms around her waist from behind, kissing her shoulder, “Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.”

She put her hands on top of his and any qualms about them being together completely melted away. He had no doubts left.

“We better get going,” he grudgingly said.

She turned and gave him a quick kiss, “I can’t wait for tonight.”

Part 5

#Richard Speight Jr #Richard speight jr x reader #reader insert #real person fiction #rpf #rich x reader #briana buckmaster #we were just friends #kazosa

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writercole · 2 years ago

Text

The First Customer

Squares: Free Space @anyfandomaubingo // Reporter AU @anyfandomfluffbingo // Nurse!Alex Calvert @spnaubingo // Bubblegum Bitch @lgbtqbingo // Boss' Son @spnfluffbingo // Briana Buckmaster @supernatural-jackles Tell Me A Story Words: 1284 Warnings: Fluff, empty threats, meddling, betting A/N: Thanks to @fictional-affairs for the push to get this done. I know it's been a bit hectic lately but I'm getting back where I need to be and I can confirm that there is plenty more coming!

The opening shift was always one of your favorites. You got there at least thirty minutes early, connected your phone to the sound system, and danced and sang around the cafe while you started brewing the coffees you knew you were going to have to make.

There was Briana, who shuffled in before heading to the news studio. She claimed your coffee beat the studio by miles. Her smile was worth the early morning alone.

Jared was usually right behind her, getting his pick me up for his patrol route. He usually had the day shift five days a week, the six city blocks the cafe sat on was his zone.

But the first customer in every day was Alex. He was a nurse at the local hospital, working twelve hour days six days a week in the pediatric ward. He may have had dark circles under his blue eyes, but his smile was always contagious.

Today, you were so lost in your music that you didn’t hear the bell over the door chime as Alex walked in. He stood watching you sing along to “Bubblegum Bitch” by Marina.

“Soda pop, soda pop, baby here I come,” you sang as you spun, shrieking when you saw Alex standing on the other side of the counter, an amused smile dancing on his face.

“Don’t let me interrupt,” he teased, “I was enjoying the show.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in,” you told him as you switched to the generic playlist your boss wanted you to play in the store.

“No, really. It’s okay. I’m off today so it’s no big deal.”

“Oh, this is your first day off in how long? Three months?” you asked as you made his coffee.

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Any big plans for today?” you asked, keeping your head down. “Spending time with the girlfriend?”

“If by girlfriend you mean my apartment that’s somehow become a pigsty, yes,” he chuckled.

“Someone like you is single?” you questioned as you handed him his drink, your eyebrows high on your forehead.

“Someone like me?”

“You know, attractive, kind, makes the world better one child’s smile at a time,” you detailed with a soft smile, tilting your head to the side as you watched his face turn pinker and pinker. “You’re blushing.”

“Am not,” he denied, taking a sip to hide his face.

"You are, too," Briana called as she walked up to the counter, her blonde hair perfectly styled and a red smirk on her lips.

"See? Bri agrees with me," you teased as you brewed her latte, giggling at how red his face had gotten.

"You could just admit you two have a crush on each other and do something about it," Briana snarked cheerily.

"What?!" You squeaked at the same time Alex stammered sounds that tried to be a denial but came out more like a car that was having trouble starting.

“Honeys, I’m a journalist. And a damn good one,” she said, “of course I know about your little crushes. Now. Stop pining and just do something already.”

You were stunned as you handed over her drink. She dropped a hefty tip into the jar and shot you a wink before she made her way out of the shop, leaving you and Alex alone again.

“So, you really have a crush on me?” you asked, breaking the tense silence first.

“Uh, maybe. I mean, you really like me?” he rebutted, one hand in his pocket while the other held on to his coffee cup for dear life.

“Maybe. Do you want to take me out to dinner tonight?” you offered slyly, a wide smile on your face when he looked up.

“How’s six?”

“Six is perfect,” you confirmed as the door opened yet again, your boss strolling in this time.

“Alex, are you harassing my worker?” Misha questioned as he stepped behind the counter.

“Actually she’s the one who asked me out,” Alex replied proudly, grinning from ear to ear.

“Good job, son. Now get out of here. I have a business to run,” Misha told him.

“Sure thing, Dad,” Alex agreed before turning to you again. “See you in twelve-ish hours.” He left you with a wink as he walked out of the door.

You spun around to face Misha who was standing with a smug grin on his face. “All this time and YOU COULDN’T TELL ME THAT ALEX WAS YOUR SON?!” you exclaimed, tossing a bar cloth at him. “You knew I had a crush on him and you couldn’t manage to mention that you were his father?!”

“Whoopsie,” Misha smirked. “It was fun to watch how oblivious the two of you were. Me and Jared even had a bet going on how long it would take for him to ask you out.”

“You bet on your son’s love life?” you sighed exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of your nose at the antics that this man pulled.

“I have to have fun somehow,” he shrugged. “Don’t you want to know who won?”

“Actually, I kind of do,” you conceded, scrunching your nose up.

“I did. Because I knew he’d never be the one to ask first.”

“I heard that, Dad!” Alex called across the cafe.

“Oops? Why are you back here anyway?”

“I, uh, I may have forgotten to get your number,” Alex muttered sheepishly to you, causing Misha to laugh loudly next to you.

“Handles medications for multiple children. Can’t remember to get the number of the person he’s taking out for dinner,” Misha pointed out as he headed to the office.

“Shut up!” you yelled at him before the door closed. You wrote your number down on a napkin and handed it over, watching him fold it carefully into his pocket. “So, that’s your dad, huh?”

“Yeah. Are you mad I didn’t tell you?” he asked.

“No, it explains a lot. But…why didn’t you tell me? I charged you full price for that coffee every morning and you could have gotten it for free.”

“It was worth it to see you every day,” he winked and started backing towards the door. “Six o’clock!”

You sighed happily as you watched him walking down the sidewalk.

“You really didn’t know he was my son?” Misha yelled from the office.

“Nope,” you replied, turning to wipe down the machines.

“So you really charged him full price for the coffees?”

“Yep.”

“Nice,” Misha chuckled. “I can’t believe he didn’t say anything. He must really like you.”

“You think?”

“You’re the first barista I’ve hired that he hasn’t told,” he admitted.

The chime above the door broke the conversation and Jared came strolling in. You busied yourself with making his drink as he and Misha discussed the bet they made and the impending payout.

“So you’re really going out with Alex?” Jared queried when you handed his drink over.

“Yep,” you confirmed, the venom lacing your voice was not real anger, just something to make Jared think you were upset with him.

“You know we didn’t mean anything by this, right? It was just a fun little bet,” he explained. He fixed you with a puppy dog face that rivaled an actual sad puppy.

“I swear if the two of you actually interfere, I will poison your coffee every day,” you mumbled through a vicious grin.

“Duly noted,” Jared said through a chuckle.

“Now, leave us alone and go do your job. Protect and serve, Officer,” you sassed.

“Yes ma’am. Have fun on your date!” he called as he headed out.

“I definitely will,” you sighed with a smile, waving at the policeman as he stepped outside. Today was not what you expected, in the best way possible.

Supernatural: @msmarvelouswinchester @thinkinghardhardlythinking @deanwinchesterswitch @spnbaby-67 @janicho88 @watermelonlipstick @stoneyggirl22 @impalaspixie @gia-25 @samsgirl93 @magssteenkamp @that-one-gay-girl @flamencodiva @winchest09 @jensengirl83 @asgoodasdancingqueen @fairlyspnfanfic @hobby27 @tatted-trina6 @unfortunate-brat @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @supraveng @440mxs-wife @panicking-outside-the-disco @jawritter @stixnstripesworld @deans-baby-momma @waywardbaby @jbsgirl4ever11 @maliburenee @princessmisery666 @nancymcl @stephv213 @leigh70 @desimarie12

Everything: @thelastpyle @deangirl93 @downanddirtydean @katelyn--renee @fictional-affairs @lassie-bird @paintlavillered @buckys-zomdoll @polireader @b3autyfuldisast3r @welcometothefandommultiverse @mlovesstories

#writercole #spnaubingo #spnfluffbingo #afgaubingo #afg fluff bingo #lgbtqbingo #tmas bingo #alex calvert #alex calvert rpf #alex calvert x gn reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader

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jay-and-dean · 4 years ago

Note

The first 5 and the last five vaguely nsfw asks. 😉

Hey there ! Welcome to my blog, I saw you followed me and all, thank you so much !

VAGUELY NSFW ASKS

Okay so you give me those :

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

I think it is, but maybe not in the way people would think. I mean, it depends on the relationship, but I guess, when you are in love, you have to like the other people’s features. I’m not talking about Instagram beauty and standard beauty, just things like thinking his eyebrow scar is badass, or liking the shape of their eyes, being fond of the color of their skin, of their smile... Things like that.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

For me, it really depends on the relationship.

If you love each other and have good times, if you are making each other happy, then yes. In that case the loss of freedom, the compromise and a few fights are worth it.

But being in a relationship just because society says it’s the way, being stuck with a moron that doesn’t treat you right, or feeling like you have to get a ring because being alone is a failure... Then no. From what I see in my life, at least half of the relationships shouldn’t be and only exist because people are afraid to be seen as single.

3. Are you a virgin?

Nope.

4. Are you in a relationship?

Not anymore. And happy about it.

5. Are you in love?

Yes, of him :

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Dean Winchester (OBVIOULSY), Tom Hardy, Briana Buckmaster, Jax Teller (yes fictional again) and Kurt Cobain.

(I cut because it’s long)

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

My best friend.

83. Who was your first kiss with?

The first I remember ? The first “actual” kiss ? Because I played mom and dad with my friends when little and kissed him, then I kissed a girl to try, then I kissed... Pfff. I don’t know, really.

I don’t give much importance tho the “firsts”.

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

He had an alcohol issue. He was good guy, nice and smart and all, but self destructive as fuck. At some point, I decided I couldn’t do it.

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

I guess yes, why not. The way you meet people is not what matters for me.

Thank you so much for asking, I tried not to be too long.

Have a great day ❤

#jay answers

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coffee-obsessed-writer · 5 years ago

Text

When You Least Expect It, Part Eleven

Jensen x Musician!Reader; Briana Buckmaster, Rob Benedict; Gen & Jared Padalecki (mentioned)

Masterlist - Contains Chapter Links & Wardrobe Collages

A/N: This is a slow burn fic that I have been working on for a while. Its a story I wrote for myself and just wanted to share with everyone. Yes, the “Dee” in the story is who you think, but there is no intended hate on her or their actual marriage. It is a work of fiction, that is all. Part eleven is from the Both POV. There is also a playlist to go along with the series.

A/N Pt. 2: This is a BIG chapter, guys. In length and in the story. This is probably a smidge past the halfway point and as such will serve as a little intermission while I pause to work on a few other things and get my challenge started. So, grab some snacks, get comfy and dive in!

A/N Pt. 3: Below is the link to the playlist. A song used in this chapter, “You’re The One That I Want” <--(youtube link here) is a cover by Alex & Sierra, and if you listen to it where it is within the fic, you’ll have a clearer vision of how it's being performed.

Spotify Playlist: Songs in this chapter - “ You’re The One That I Want ”

I tell her all the time, but I’m beyond grateful for all the help @closetspngirl has given me with this whole thing and specifically this chapter. Check out the wardrobe she put together for the party! She’s the absolute bee's knees!

Chapter Summary: The fall out from the break-in, followed by a tense argument with Jensen, causes Y/N to reach her breaking point. She finally comes to terms with what she wants and tries to find a way to convey this to Jensen.

Chapter Warnings: Language, arguing, angst, smut

WC: 14K **with lyrics. Lyrics NOT written by me in bold, italic.

*Banner created by me; pics & gifs found online.

Tags are open if you want on, or wanna hop off.

“I’m gonna be sick…” Y/N said as she tiptoed through the living room, trying to avoid the mess of broken glass and couch remnants strewn across the floor. She tried to wrap her head around what had transpired, but she could only stand there, blinking absently at what she was seeing.

The couch had been slashed and shredded, pieces of stuffing and swatches of cloth were everywhere. The glass from the coffee table had been broken into a thousand pieces, by what she had no idea. Red wine stained the floor throughout the room and looked as if it was even sprayed on the walls.

“Jesus,” Jensen whispered to himself as he approached the place where the glass balcony doors used to be. “Who the hell wanted to get in here so damn bad that they’d throw a brick through the fucking glass?”

“Sir, if you could just stay on this side of the room, we’re still collecting evidence,” one of the officers called out from the entryway. “You shouldn’t even be here yet.”

Jensen stepped back and took Y/N gently by the shoulders, trying to comfort her the best he could.

“Excuse me,” a new voice chimed in from behind, “you’re the homeowners?”

Jensen and Y/N turned around and was greeted by an older man in his mid-sixties, in a worn dark blue suit. “Yeah, she lives here,” Jensen answered for her and shook the man’s hand.

“I’m Detective Perkins, sorry to have to meet under these circumstances,” he said to Jensen, then looked to Y/N. “I’m sure this is quite upsetting, but if you could think of anyone who may want to scare you--”

“Why would you ask if someone was trying to scare her?” Jensen asked sharply. “It's a burglary, right?”

“Well, no. I don’t think so. Upon inspection of the premises, it appears all electronics and valuables are accounted for. Of course, we will need you to look through everything to see if something’s missing, but a preliminary walk through and assessment of the damage seems more like a scare tactic than an actual break-in.”

“The whole place is like this?” Y/N asked, her voice small and lost in the room.

“Yes, ma’am. I can take you upstairs if you want. If you’d like to gather some items--”

“Yes, please,” she said and exhaled shakily.

“Y/N, I can go up if you want. Why don’t you--”

“No, I have to go. But, please come with me,” she whispered in a broken, defeated tone.

“Of course, I wouldn’t let you go alone.” Jensen took her hand in his and squeezed it, then looked at the detective. “After you.”

When they reached the second floor, Detective Perkins opened her bedroom door. Y/N walked through first and was immediately hit by the strong fragrance of perfume; her own perfume, but far too concentrated. As she walked further into the room, she noticed the closet door was open, and the few clothes that were left hanging up in there were cut into pieces and tossed around the room. The comforter of the bed was wet with what she could only assume was the remnants of her favorite fragrance.

“What the fuck?” She heard Jensen say, and slowly turned around to look where he was looking.

Written across the mirror of her dresser, in dark red lipstick, was the word WHORE. Her throat went dry, and she could feel her body go cold. She now understood why the detective said what he did. This was meant to scare her, right out of Austin and back to New Jersey; back to Nate.

“This has to be Nathan,” she said and took a few steps closer, but stopped, afraid to actually be within reach of the heinous violation.

“Who’s Nathan? He got a last name?” Perkins asked abruptly.

“Fowler,” she said in a near whisper. “Nathan Fowler.”

Detective Perkins took out his little notebook and scribbled down the name before tucking it away and turning to Jensen. “Where were the two of you tonight?”

“All due respect, detective, can the questions wait until tomorrow? I would really like to get what we need and get her out of here.”

“I understand that, but the sooner we can--”

“That’s not mine,” Y/N said, not even hearing the conversation happening beside her. “That… that lipstick…” she pointed at the mirror.

“Ma’am?” Perkins asked.

“The lipstick used to write on the mirror,” she said again and this time took the few extra steps towards it but didn’t dare touch it. “If it was Nathan, he brought that in himself, because it's not mine. I would never wear that color.”

“But I know someone who would wear it,” Jensen mumbled and took a closer look himself. He sighed deeply and bit the inside of his lip to try and help contain some of the rage that had been building.

Y/N noticed the change in his demeanor when his body became more rigid. “What?”

“Dee,” Jensen said through gritted teeth. “I’d know that color anywhere.”

Y/N saw his hands clenching and felt the sudden need to get out of the house. The whole place felt ugly and violated. That, more than the damage that had been done, bothered her most of all.

“Jay, let’s just go. Let them figure out who it was. You don’t know…”

“My gut says it is.”

“No offense, Mr. Ackles, but we can’t arrest someone on your gut,” Perkins replied with an air of condensation. “Why don’t you gather what you need, check to see if there’s any jewelry missing or other valuables. Tomorrow, come on down to the station and you can answer some questions for me, alright?”

Y/N just nodded. Her eyes went back to the mirror and as she saw her reflection through the lipstick crusted words, she knew that regardless if it was Dee or Nathan, they weren’t going away.

“What I need?” she mumbled in a defeated whisper. “I don’t know what to take, I don’t really need anything much I guess,” she said quietly and motioned towards the suitcase that was still packed from various bouts of traveling. “I can just take that. But I’d like to go to the loft and get a few things.”

“Well, that may be a problem,” Perkins groaned and rubbed the back of his neck. “Come on, I’ll show ya.”

The loft was the worst of all the rooms; it had been completely trashed. Papers were torn and thrown around the room. Like the downstairs, the couch had been slashed, stuffing pulled and sprinkled around like soft puffs of snow. Mixed into the fabric batting were small, gray chunks of plastic. It took her a minute, but Y/N finally realized what she was seeing.

“That’s my laptop,” she said pointing to the fragments. “Motherfucker smashed my laptop, too.”

Now she really did feel sick. Y/N wavered on her feet for a moment but Jensen was there to steady her.

“All our work…” she breathed, a swell of nausea rooting in her gut. She shook her head slowly, then was hit by an ironic bout of laughter. “Boy is Robbie gonna give me a big ‘I told you so’.”

Jensen looked at her curiously. “Uh, why?”

“The cloud. He’s a lunatic about uploading everything to the cloud. So the important stuff is saved, but… All these papers will have to be reprinted. We have to--”

“That can wait,” Jensen interjected gently. “It’s not important right now, okay? Just grab whatever you came up here for, and let’s get out of the way so they can do what they need to.”

She walked further into the room and saw the broken picture frame peeking out from under a piece of the laptop’s keyboard. The frame had been destroyed, but the picture of her father was thankfully still intact. She carefully slid it from the broken glass and folded it before putting it in her back pocket.

Y/N continued to scan the room, then began to panic when she couldn’t find her guitar. She had left it against the wall earlier that morning but it wasn’t there now. Y/N walked towards the drum kit at the far end of the room and saw how someone beat on it relentlessly with something, and that’s when she knew…

“No…” she whispered, and despite being asked not to touch anything, she began to sift through the wreckage of the room. “No, no, no…” she just kept saying over and over as the white puffs of batting were floating through the air around her.

Jensen was by her side and trying to pull her up from doing so, but it was too late. Beneath the mess of debris, was the remnants of her guitar. Slowly she bent down and found the wooden neck of her old Gibson. She cradled it for a minute and ran her fingers along the fractured frets and curled strings. An ache began to grow in her chest, and Y/N sat back on the floor with a thud, not caring about what was beneath her. The splintered piece of guitar fell into her lap when she put her head in her hands, then began to cry. Her shoulders shook silently as the magnitude of what she’d just lost sunk in. Jensen sat beside her with his arms around her shoulders, letting her lean into his chest and just cry as he rocked her gently in an effort to give her comfort. He closed his eyes and rested his lips to her hair, kissing her head and desperately wishing he could somehow make this all better.

Detective Perkins allowed them a few minutes before he cleared his throat to try and get Jensen’s attention.

“Mr. Ackles…”

“Yeah,” he said, partially turning towards Perkins, and seeing the uniformed officers waiting to search the room. “One minute.”

Jensen turned back to Y/N and brushed away the hair that had obscured her face. “Hey, sweetheart…” he tone was gentle and soft. “...we have to go. They need to get in here, so they can figure out--”

“Nate. It had to be,” she said flatly, but when she looked up at him, her eyes were anything but. They were wet and vibrating with disgust, anger, and sadness. Jensen had never seen her this way, and the look she wore broke his heart and as he used the pad of his thumb to gently wipe away the tears that rested on her cheeks.

“We need to let them prove that, then. They can’t do that when we’re in the way.”

Jensen started to stand, and Y/N followed his lead without hesitation. “Anything besides the suitcase?” he asked. “What about Mama’s things?”

Y/N shook her head. “She’s staying at the Marriott. I told her to stay here, but she didn’t want to in case we wanted the place to ourselves.” Y/N snorted a laugh and smiled apologetically, despite still trembling from the emotion she just expelled.

Jensen shook his head with slight exasperation. “Well, bless her heart, she really is something.” He waited for Y/N to retrieve the piece of the guitar from the floor before he put his arm around her shoulder, turning her towards the door and away from the heartbreaking scene.

“Ma’am, you really can’t take that with you, its evidence,” one of the officers said and motioned towards the piece of the guitar in her hand.

Y/N froze and looked at the broken instrument in her hand. She took a moment to let her eyes glaze over it because she knew that leaving it here meant she would never see it again. A touch of Jensen’s hand on the upper part of her arm gave her the strength to set it down and lean it gently against the wall.

“Sorry, ma’am,” the officer said quietly when he saw the weight of sadness in her eyes.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Jensen said and lead her from the house.

Jensen lifted her suitcase into the back of his truck and climbed into the driver’s side. Y/N was already buckled in, her fingers absently toying with the pendant he bought her. They sat in silence for a moment just absorbing everything that had happened in the span of the last hour.

“My dad bought me that guitar,” she said once he was settled in the truck. “Found it in a pawn shop near the house when I was twelve. It was old and out of tune, but I loved it and nursed it back to health. Now it’s…” she trailed off with a delicate sigh, and shrugged one shoulder up enough to brush the fresh tears off her cheek. “Where am I gonna go, Jay?” she asked, her voice small and broken. “I can’t… I don’t wanna be here, even if it's clean--”

“You stay with me. End of story,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Jensen…”

“Don’t Jensen, me. You’re staying at my place and that’s that.” He was forceful but still gentle in his tone.

“And how’s that gonna work? You’re in Vancouver now. I’m just going to live at your place?”

“Y/N,” he started, “Let’s just start with tonight, okay? Let’s go back to my house, call Bri and Mama. Tell them what happened. Tomorrow we’ll go see Perkins and figure out things from there.”

“Okay,” she said, then looked out the window. The lights from the cop cars were still disturbing the otherwise peaceful neighborhood, and it brought on a different wave of sadness. She felt the sting of tears at her eyes again but didn’t bother wiping them away.

“Hey, you alright?” he asked softly as he started the ignition.

“I just hate that this is how I’ll remember this place now. I hate that my memories of it turned so ugly.”

“You really liked this place, huh?”

Y/N nodded. “It was home. I never expected it to really feel like mine, you know? It was just a place to live when I first came here. But, I don’t know… somewhere along the line, it became home.”

She looked away from the window and back at Jensen. Seeing him there made her feel a little better, but it wasn’t enough to shake the sense of being violated. Just like the morning, he took her to the airport, she slid across the seat and tucked herself into the crook of his arm. Y/N closed her eyes and from deep within his chest, she could hear Jensen’s heart beating, slow and rhythmic, helping her find some semblance of peace in an otherwise chaotic night.

Y/N woke up and couldn’t remember where she was. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and felt like she was hungover, yet never had a drop of alcohol the night before. She slowly blinked and stretched her arms over her head and tried to remember where she was. The scent of Jensen was so strong around her, but when she sat up from the bed, he was nowhere to be seen, bringing on a bout of disappointment. Y/N looked around and tried to recall exactly how she got there, and when she saw her suitcase was there by the bathroom door, the rush of memories become clearer in her mind.

Jensen had brought her back to his house the night before, where they sat on his couch quietly for the longest time. She didn’t want to talk. He could sense that in her so he just let her rest against him, eventually turning on the television but not really watching anything. Y/N just stared blankly at the screen while he stroked her hair and made the occasional comment about what they were watching.

When she was finally tired enough to sleep, he insisted she take his bed. Y/N remembered crawling onto the King-sized mattress slowly, and letting herself sink into the pillows with heavy eyes. She felt Jensen lay beside her then drape his arm across her side, pulling her close, then holding her that way until she was asleep.

Y/N sat up all the way and enjoyed the quiet moment being in Jensen’s personal space. Even though he didn’t get to spend much time there, pieces of him were strewn about the room and for her, it was calming. She drew her legs up into her chest and wrapped her arms around them, then rested her chin on her knee. Closing her eyes, she drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly through puckered lips, while she kept telling herself, everything would be fine. She needed to be calm, she needed to feel in control, but most of all, she needed to shower. Though she doubted that would make her feel clean. This kind of grime couldn’t be washed away with soap and water.

Eventually, she made herself get up, and open her suitcase to find something suitable to wear for the day. Y/N went into the bathroom that was right off the bedroom and saw the pile of fluffy towels he’d left for her.

Y/N shook her head and chuckled softly. “This guy. He’s too much.”

As she stood under the nearly scalding hot water, her mind drifted to the scene at her house. It was just a mess. No one had been hurt, and anything that had been broken was easily replaceable. Well, almost. She felt the sting of tears again and fought them back. Instead, she tried to focus on Jensen.

He wasn’t even supposed to be in town yesterday, she thought as she rinsed the shampoo from her hair and let the water cascade down her back. She felt lucky to have him, though there were still plenty of moments in any given day where she was still baffled about how she did have him in the first place.

Out of the shower, and dressed for the day, Y/N just finished running the brush through her hair when there was a soft knock at the door.

“Come in,” she called and waited for the door to open.

“Mornin’ Trix,” Jensen smiled softly, the crinkles deepening around his eyes. “Sleep alright?”

“Morning,” she said and placed the brush back in her suitcase. “Not bad I guess. Where did you sleep? You weren’t here when I woke up.”

“I, uh… I went downstairs and slept on the couch for a little while.”

“Why? You could have stayed, it’s your bed after all.”

“It’s fine,” he said, waving her off. “You hungry? I could make you some breakfast.”

Y/N shook her head, and moved towards him, closing the gap between them. “I’m good for now. Maybe after the police station. I need to be there soon, right?”

“Yeah.” Jensen seemed nervous. His muscles were noticeably tense and it wasn’t like him to be in the room with her for more than a minute without reaching out for her, or touching her in some kind of way. She knew his signs and could see he wanted to say something, but either didn’t have the nerve, or was being cautious in starting the conversation.

“Something on your mind?” she asked and grabbed his crossed arms to pull him closer. He unfurled them and embraced her, as hers went and around his waist.

“There is, but it can wait until after. I wanted to make sure you were alright after everything last night.”

“I’m as good as I’m going to be for the moment. So, talk to me, what’s up?”

Jensen kissed her forehead and broke apart from her embrace. “I have to go back to Vancouver tonight. I’m sorry that I can’t stay--”

“It’s fine, Jay. Mama is in town for a couple more days. I can stay with her at the Marriott--”

“No. Hell no. You stay here,” he said pointedly. “You can stay here for as long as you want to.”

“I can’t do that,” she said and ran her fingers through her hair. “I can’t live with you, Jensen.”

“No, I mean, I’m barely here. When I go back tonight, I won’t be back until the morning of Jared’s party and that’s next week. Bri offered to come stay here with you, too.”

“You talked to Briana about it before me?”

“She called this morning while you were still sleeping. She asked where you were going to go.”

Y/N’s head was spinning and she didn’t want to talk about this at the moment. “I don’t know, okay? Can I just go to the police station and see what they say?”

“Yeah, but, I want you to know you can stay here. It would make me feel a hell of a lot better knowing you were here and safe than in a hotel somewhere.”

Y/N sighed and when she saw how deep the concern ran on his face, she felt this was a battle that just wasn’t worth fighting. “Just till Jared’s party. Then I will figure something else out.”

“WE will figure it out,” Jensen smiled.

“No… I will. I need to handle this on my own. Find a new place of my own. I can’t have you swoop in and fix it.”

“I just want to help you. You realize you don’t have to do it alone, right? I’m here, Y/N. For you… for whatever you need.”

“And I appreciate that,” she said. “But I need to be independent, I won’t ever put myself in a position where I am reliant on another person, again. Not when it comes to something this big.”

Jensen just stared at her, fighting the urge to turn the conversation a way it didn’t need to go. He could understand where she was coming from and didn’t want to belittle her need for self-reliance.

“Ok,” he agreed and decided he wouldn’t press the issue. “Whatever you wanna do. But, you’ll stay through the week, at least?”

“Yes, ‘til then. At least.”

“Ok good. Thank you. Oh, you know… after the weekend of Jare’s party, we leave for comic con. You should come.”

Y/N was in the middle of adjusting her layers of clothes and stopped mid-motion. “To San Diego?”

“Yeah, why not?”

She snorted a laugh and shook her head. “No thanks, I’m good.”

Jensen scrunched his face, slightly offended by her response. “No thanks? Why not?”

“There is so much to do, Jay. I can’t just up and go to San Diego. There are at least three separate meetings planned with the high school kids to work on the sets for the theater. Not to mention dealing with the carnage of the office.” She exhaled slowly and closed her eyes at the notion of the paperwork catch up she would have to do now. Everything had been organized in the office, and while it was backed up digitally, she needed to scour through everything with a fine-toothed comb.

“You can work from there. It will be fun! Come on, I promise--”

“No!” she snapped. “I… I don’t--I can’t go to San Diego, Jensen. Why are you pushing this so much?”

Jensen’s mouth pulled taught and he folded his arms again, while his tongue ran nervously across his bottom lip. “Because I don’t like the idea of you being here alone.”

“But, you literally just said--”

“Yeah, and Briana will be here, so you won’t be alone.”

Y/N sighed and rolled her eyes. “So now I can’t be alone? What the hell? Jay, this is crazy... why are you being pushy?”

“Crazy? You wanna talk crazy? Last night some lunatic threw a brick through your back door then proceeded to SLASH things all over the place. Slash! Y/N, with a fucking knife! What the hell would have happened if you were home? Hm? What the HELL would they have done to you?”

“The thought crossed my mind and its scary as hell to think about. But I wasn’t there, and I’m fine. I can’t live my life scared… not again,” she said as calmly as she could, but inside she felt anything but calm. Her mind flashed to how she lived after getting out of the hospital from when Nathan hit her. Y/N promised herself she would never live that way again.

“They could have hurt you... Raped you! Killed you! I don’t know! Then what would I have done?!” He had never raised his voice with her before and only did so now because he was scared. It was written through every line on his face, in every vein that pulsated with his blood. His jaw was clenched and his fists were methodically opening and closing as he tried to release some of the tension he felt.

Y/N was speechless. The fire in Jensen’s expression was new to her, and it caused her breath to catch in her chest.

“If you think for one damn second, that I’m going to risk the life of the woman I love just because you need to prove how independent you are--”

Y/N’s stomach dropped. “What the fuck did you just say?” she asked cautiously, the words nearly sticking in her throat.

Jensen was confused at first, unsure of what part she was referring too. But then his shoulders fell at the realization of what he said. He didn’t regret it, because it was true; he was in love with her. But this wasn’t how he wanted to say it, and by the expression she wore, he could see it wasn’t what she was hoping for, either. There was no going back now though, regardless of whether she wanted to hear it, or not.

“I said,” he took a couple steps closer to her. “I won’t risk your life, the woman I am in love with just so you can be stubborn and independent.”

Y/N took a step back from him, dazed by his admission. Suddenly she couldn’t look at him. A burning bout of rage erupted from her gut.

“Why would you say that, now? So, I would fall into your arms and do what you wanted?”

“What? No! I meant what I said, Y/N. I do, I love you! I certainly didn’t mean to just blurt it out, but I would never use it to manipulate you! You should know me better than that.”

“Honestly, I don’t know what I am thinking. My head is so turned around with everything that’s happened, Jensen. From meeting you to crisscrossing the country, to Nathan, to the break in, to… fucking… Dee and her God damned phone calls. I am exhausted! Mentally, physically, just exhausted! So, I’m sorry, if I misinterpreted your grand declaration, but fuck you very much for doing that right now!”

Y/N immediately regretted the harshness of her reaction. But it wasn’t something someone could take back so easily. The way Jensen’s expression fell broke her heart because the last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt him. She just wanted room to breathe, clear her head and try to comprehend the events of the last twenty-four hours.

The room grew completely silent as they stood there staring at each other. It was less than a minute, but that minute felt like forty years. Y/N closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, knowing this needed to be addressed, but she just couldn’t right then.

“Look, I need to clear my head and get some air. I’m going to head to the police station and get that over with. Can we talk when I get back?”

“Yeah, sure. Take the truck. Keys are on the kitchen counter,” he said quietly, his eyes staring straight ahead, unable to look at her as she walked past him.

“Thanks,” she rasped and headed towards the door to the room. She hesitated before walking through, wondering if she should stay and try to fix things. But with the way her head was buzzing and the anxiety churning in her gut, she thought it better to follow her instincts and just give them a bit of space. She wasn’t running away, just calling a timeout.

“I’ll call you and let you know what they say,” she said with a small sigh, hoping it would ease some of the tension she’d just caused.

“Good, thanks.” Jensen still didn’t turn around. He stood in the middle of the quiet room trying to wrap his head around what just happened. When he heard the front door close from below, and the familiar sound of his truck’s engine in the driveway, he finally turned and headed downstairs.

Twenty minutes after Y/N left, Jensen was half lounging on his couch, one leg stretched out across the cushions, one hanging over the edge. His arm was covering his face with his eyes closed. He wasn’t sleeping but trying to rest his mind and hush the self-destructive line of thought that was giving him a headache. The soft knock at the door made him slowly stir from the couch. It stopped and started more than once by the time he got there to open.

“Alright, Jesus…” he grumbled and pulled the door open.

Briana’s smiling face greeted him along with a very bright sun. “Rise and shine, sleepyhead!” she sang and pushed her way in while holding a tray of disposable coffee cups, and a bag full of donuts. “I come bearing gifts. Where’s Y/N?”

Jensen closed the door behind her and helped to relieve her of the tray of coffee. He carried them into the kitchen with Briana following close behind.

“Uh, she left for the police station about a half hour ago,” he said, pulling a cup with his name on the side out and drinking it greedily. He sighed with relief as the heat of the coffee warmed his throat. “Thanks for the caffeine.”

“My pleasure,” Bri smiled, then immediately furrowed her brow. “Why are you here and not with her at the police station?”

Jensen snorted a laugh and tilted his head to the side slightly. “Long story.”

“I got time, coffee and donuts, Ackles. Spill it.”

Trying to ignore her, Jensen picked up the bag of donuts and peered inside. He could feel Briana’s eyes on him and realized there was no way she was going to stop asking. He rolled the bag back up and tossed it back to the counter.

“I had planned to go with her, but she wanted to go alone,” he sighed. It was the truth, sort of.

“Mhm, and?”

“And… what?”

“You could have insisted you go. This can’t be easy for her.”

“I pushed her enough this morning. I wasn’t going to do it again.”

“Pushed her how? What the hell happened?”

Jensen leaned back against the counter and took a drink from his cup. “We were talking about where she could go now. She doesn’t want to go back to the townhouse, and I don’t blame her. So I told her to stay here, what we talked about.”

“Right, makes sense. She didn’t go for it?”

“Not at first, but eventually she agreed to at least stay for the week, til I’m back again.”

“Alright, so what’s the problem then?”

“I tried to get her to go to San Diego. She doesn’t want to--”

“And you tried to push her to go?”

“Yeah. But… I got pissed, scared, is more like it. I can’t help but think about what could have happened to her, Bri. What if she had been home when that happened? I cannot get that out of my head. I could have lost her.”

“Did you tell her that?” Bri asked quietly.

Jensen nodded. “That and then some.”

“Explain, please.”

“In the midst of trying to make a point I blurted out that I was in love with her,” he said with a wince and watched Briana’s expression transform into a mix of surprise, excitement, and panic.

“Oh… Jensen… how--how did that go over? I thought you weren’t going to tell her yet!”

“Wasn’t on purpose, Bri. Trust me. And it did NOT go over well.”

“That’s why she went alone,” Bri mumbled in understanding. “That makes more sense now. What did she say?”

Jensen gave her a look that said, ‘please don’t make me answer that’, to which Bri understood perfectly and relented.

“I’m so sorry, honey,” she said and walked around the kitchen to give him a hug.

Jensen didn’t realize how much he needed one. He returned his friend’s hug, suddenly very glad she was there and forcing him to talk about it. When they pulled back from the embrace, Bri immediately balled up her fist and punched him in the arm.

“Ow! What the fuck, Bri!? What was that for?”

“For telling her you loved her in an argument, ya dumbass,” she snorted and shook her head. “You don’t do that! Especially not the first time you’re gonna tell a girl you love her!”

“I told you it wasn’t on purpose! You didn’t have to hit me, damn.”

“Well next time you need to stop and think before you speak. That girl has gotta be spiraling right now. She was already overwhelmed with work, it’s why me and Mama are even here. She needed help. Then, the break-in and now this. She’s on overload, Jensen.”

“Why didn’t she tell me she was that overwhelmed? I’ve told her--”

“Right, and she’s just as stubborn as you are! You were in Vancouver. She wasn’t going to interrupt your schedule there for help with traveling, paperwork, and setlists... backdrops, social media… you name it, she’s doing it. My point is, she was already on the edge of having a little breakdown, and maybe what you said just pushed her over.”

“That’s the last thing I wanted,” he said. “Why is it whenever you feel like things are good, something comes along and just kicks you right in the balls?”

“That’s life, my friend,” Bri mused. “I guess you can only thing you can really control is how you respond.” She shrugged and looked at him with a tilt of her head. “So, how you gonna respond to this one?”

Jensen gave her a deadpan stare and shook his head. “Do I look like I know what the hell I’m doing?”

Bri laughed. “Do any of us?” She pushed off the counter and stood directly in front of him, taking him by the upper parts of his arms, and forcing him to look into her eyes. “Please, do not let whatever she said to you this morning, derail the amazing potential you two have. You, my friend, have a girl that is head over heels crazy for you. She’s scared as hell that she’s going to lose herself in loving you.”

Bri let his arms go and gave him a warning look. “Now, I just violated best friend code to tell you that, as it came from a confidential conversation during a night of girl talk.” She wagged her finger in his face. “Don’t make me regret it.”

Jensen laughed and held up his pinky. “Pinky promise.”

“Atta boy,” Bri giggled and winked at him then hooked her pinky with his. “Look, I need to run, I promised Y/N I would take this morning’s appointment over at the community college with the theater director. But, you call me or have her call me, okay? I want to know what happened at the station and with this...” she made a swirling motion with her finger in his general direction.

Jensen chuckled. “I will. Thanks, Bri,” he said and hugged her again.

She left a quick peck on his cheek. “Love ya, buddy. Hang in there, okay? Things will be fine. I know it.” Bri grabbed her coffee from the counter and headed towards the front door. With one last wave, she was out the door and off to her appointment.

It was late afternoon by the time Y/N got back to Jensen’s. She found him in the bedroom, re-packing his suitcase for the trip back to Vancouver. He didn’t sense her at first, so she watched him neatly roll up his clothes and place them into the open luggage. By the look of his slumped shoulders and slow, methodical movements of folding and packing, it looked like he was going through the motions, but she could tell that he was doing so reluctantly.

She felt terrible about how they had left things that morning and thought about nothing else, aside from the break-in; and that had only been when she was sitting and discussing it with Detective Perkins earlier. Jensen had been nothing but good in her life, but his timing of feelings was just something she wasn’t ready for right then. Somehow she needed to tell him that she just wanted to, for now, pretend it didn’t happen and keep going on the path they had previously chosen.

“Hey,” she said and took a tentative step into the room. “Need some help?”

Jensen turned around, slightly startled by her entrance, but she felt a little relieved when he smiled upon he saw her.

“I’m just about done, but thanks,” he said and placed the last item in before flipping the lid closed, but not zipping it. “How’d it go?”

“Alright, I guess. They don’t know anything yet. Perkins mostly asked about Nathan. I imagine you’ll be getting a call soon. He mentioned wanting to talk to you, too.”

“Because I brought up Dee?”

Y/N nodded and took a few steps closer to him. “I told him you were leaving for work later tonight, but he said he would call soon.”

It was Jensen’s turn to nod. He drew a deep breath, ready to try and clear the air of awkwardness between them. But Y/N beat him to it.

“Jay, I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I know you wouldn’t actually say--you know--to purposely manipulate me. I’m sorry I even thought about it for a second.”

“It’s okay. And, I’m sorry for pushing you. I don’t have the right to tell you what to do.” He wanted to say more, but he could sense she just wanted to let it go for now. After what happened that morning, he was learning more about her boundaries and wouldn’t continue to test them.

“Can we just, rewind, start over for today? I know you have to leave tonight and I don’t want you to go with things weird between us.”

“Me either,” he said and reached out to take her hand. “Are you hungry? Did you eat?”

Y/N shook her head. “Haven’t had much of an appetite today. Did you?”

“Not yet. But, I did order a pizza earlier. Figured you’d be hungry when you got back.”

“And you got me a pizza?” she asked wistfully, looking up at him with wide, dreamy eyes. “You get me. You really get me.”

Jensen chuckled softly and pulled her in with ease. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, as she rested her head against his chest and hugged him around the waist.

“We ok?” he whispered into her hair.

“Yeah, Jay. We’re good.” Y/N felt his body sigh with relief, as she looked up at him. She stood up a little straighter and kissed his lips gently.

The rest of the evening had been quiet. Y/N recanted her conversation with Detective Perkins, they discussed some festival business and just kept the conversation light and kept clear of anything regarding that morning. Hours later, after consuming the pizza and a half of a Netflix movie, Y/N had fallen asleep, with her head on his shoulder. Jensen dozed off a few times himself until around midnight when his phone vibrated alerting him that it was time to leave. Outside there would be a car waiting to bring him to the airport, and now, more than ever, he wished he didn’t have to go.

Jensen watched her sleeping for a moment and decided not to wake her. He got up cautiously, doing his best not to disturb her. When he was standing, he gently guided her to a more comfortable position on the couch and covered her with the blanket that rested along the back. He went into the kitchen and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, and scribbled a note for her. He folded it in half and left it on the coffee table where she could easily see it before he left.

Once he was sure she was still in a deep sleep, he knelt beside the couch and lightly brushed her hair from her face.

Jensen leaned forward and left a soft kiss on her temple. “I know you don’t wanna hear it right now Trix, but I do love you,” he whispered.

She didn’t stir. Jensen took one more long look at her, and tried to remember every little detail; the soft sound of her snoring, the way her hair spilled across the throw pillow, how the soft glow from the TV highlighted the contours of her face and neck. The corner of his mouth lifted into a small smile, and even though things weren’t perfect he knew that it didn’t matter because he loved her. For now, that was enough for him. His phone vibrated again, this time a text from the car service letting him now they were waiting out front. He glanced her way one last time and left the house quietly for the airport.

A week later, and Y/N was already tired of Austin’s summer. The temperatures were reaching triple digits and the humidity could give Jersey’s mid-year season a run for its money. Bri had come to stay with her at Jensen’s house for a few days after he left, which was blessedly cool and equipped with a small swimming pool out back. Unfortunately, they spent most of the time running around Austin, going from one location to the next and dealing with coming and going in and out of the heat. The only thing that kept them going was knowing how much of an impact that what they were doing was going to make on the festival, and by extension, for the city itself. It was exhausting, but between that and spending time with Mama while she was there, it was helping to keep her brain occupied and not think about the break-in.

The day before Jared’s party, Briana left to go meet some family who was visiting in Dallas. Promising she would be back in time for Jared’s party, Y/N said goodbye from the porch of Jensen’s house and watched her go. It wasn’t until she went back inside, closed and locked the door did she realize that she was alone again. At first, she tried to ignore the feeling that was tingling beneath her outward exterior. It was a barely there sensation, but enough to make her take notice.

She picked up the phone to call Jensen more than a few times, but after their argument about her being alone, the last thing she wanted to do was admit he was right.

Maybe going to San Diego isn’t the worst idea in the world… she thought as she mulled around the kitchen, trying to decide what she wanted to do. She didn’t want to eat, or watch TV; for the first time that week, she had no desire to go for a swim. If she was being honest with herself, she just wanted to be where Jensen was.

They hadn’t talked much that week. A call or text a day was all there had been time for. She tried not to think it was due to the way things had been their last day together. Jensen had left her a sweet note, and though she was sad he didn’t wake her, she understood why he didn’t. Now, he was due home by the next day for the party, and Y/N found herself just counting the hours.

Sleep found her eventually when she retreated to the guest room she’d been staying in and laid down with one of the books she found in the living room. Her slumber was broken and filled with dreams, but it helped the time pass as the moon set and sun rose on another bright, humid day. She had woken later than she wanted but took the time to throw on her slippers and go down to the kitchen to make coffee. Once it was done, she took it back upstairs with her, sipping it slowly as she went about getting her clothes ready for the day and preparing to take a quick shower.

Y/N had just stepped out of the shower and went back into the guest room to dress when she heard a soft knock at the door. It started to open as she spun around in surprise, and pulled her towel close against her.

“Hey, Y/N are you--” Jensen’s face came through the door. The instant he saw her in just a towel he froze.

The air in the room suddenly felt thick, making it hard to breathe. Jensen and Y/N locked eyes every so briefly before his gaze continued down the length of her body. Seeing her like that--skin still wet and glistening, and MORE of her than he’d seen before--especially after not seeing her for a week--left him reeling. Jensen felt more than just a twitch of arousal beneath his shorts, then quickly looked away, and apologized profusely.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize… I’ll go--let you change…” he stuttered and moved nervously out of the room, leaving Y/N to laugh.

“Just give me a minute,” she called out and tried to calm the rush of heat that flourished in her cheeks. Y/N sat on the edge of the bed, her heart racing from the momentary encounter. She figured it was just because he took her by surprise, but deep down she knew it was all because of how he looked at her. Somehow, she got herself together, got dressed and met him downstairs a few minutes later.

Y/N found Jensen in the kitchen, leaning on the island counter with his elbows, scrolling through his phone. When he saw her, he stood up straighter, a dream-like expression on his face, and a smile that brought out the crinkles around his eyes.

“I, uh, I’m sorry about that… I just… I figured you’d heard me come in, and…”

“It’s fine. No big deal,” she said, her heart still beating faster than normal. “What time do we have to leave?”

“Uh, now, actually. Just got a text from Bri, she’s running late and will meet everyone at the dock.”

“Dock?”

“Yeah, apparently Gen is having this luau in a private cove. She thought it would be fun to rent a big ole boat for everyone to get there.”

“Oh… and how are we getting back? Also boat?”

“No,” he chuckled, “she hired a car service or rentals, I don’t know… either way, there are cars there to take people from the cove to wherever they wanted to go. This way they can leave whenever they want.”

“Seems like she thought of everything,” Y/N said and moved further into the kitchen before leaving a canvas tote bag on the stool. “I grabbed a change of clothes, just in case.”

“Good thinking. I should too. Let me do that and we’ll go.”

She watched him run upstairs, taking them two by two and expelled a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Things had been fine between them, and even after the unexpected encounter upstairs, something still felt off. Not terribly… but for the first time since, forever, he didn’t try to touch her in any way. She tried not to worry about it, but not all of her old self-destructive habits were gone. In the time between him going up and then coming back downstairs, she had herself convinced that he had finally lost interest.

“Ready?” he asked, slinging a Jansport over his shoulder.

“Mhm,” she mumbled, then grabbed her bag, forcing a smile and praying he didn’t see the fear on her face.

As they pulled up to the dock, Y/N could immediately pick out their group ready to board when she spotted Jared towering over the lot of them. Jensen grabbed their bags from the bed of the truck and handed Y/N hers as they walked down the sidewalk towards the group. Once all the hugs and greetings were dispensed, everyone boarded and found a place to settle in for the two-hour ride to the cove.

The moment Robbie saw Y/N, he pounced on her. “My girl! You’re here and that makes me very happy. Missed you! Also, we really, really need to chat. Today might not be good, but what are your plans tomorrow?”

“If today goes as I imagine it will, my plans will be to nurse the hangover I assume I’ll have. Why? What’s up?”

Robbie pulled her down into the galley and away from the crowd. “What do you mean, what’s up? Um, you got your house broken into and the loft was destroyed. WE have too--”

“It's done, Robbie. I recovered everything from the cloud, got it reprinted, refiled and safely stored in Jensen’s office. Crisis averted.”

Rob’s face went from panic to pleasantly surprised in a matter of a second. “Well damn, girl. I guess, then, the only other thing we need to talk about is your music and which of it you want to sing on stage with us. I wrap in Vancouver soon, and I want to get the guys back down here so we can start working on a couple of those songs you got.”

Y/N’s heart sank; not because of what Rob said, but because it just reminded her, again, that she no longer had her guitar.

“Yeah, we’ll talk soon, Rob. Let’s get through today and we’ll chat. Cool?”

“Perfect,” he replied with an affirmative nod. He paused and took a closer look at her expression and could see the heavy emotion behind her faux smile. He sighed, and put his hand on her shoulder, giving her a friendly squeeze. “I’m so sorry about what happened to the townhouse. When Jensen told me, I--I just couldn’t--I mean, who…” he trailed off in a huff. “I just don’t get it.”

“Me either. But, cops are working on it,” she shrugged and then cleared her throat. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not think about it tonight.”

“Of course, I’m sorry, I should’ve--”

“Robert,” she snorted a laugh and shook her head, “it’s fine. Let’s go join the others, okay? I need to find Bri.”

Rob escorted Y/N back out onto the deck where the others were sitting around on the cushioned seats that lined the perimeter of the yacht. Gen and Jared were sitting with Jason and one of Gen’s friends, a few others were scattered around as well, while Jensen and Bri were sitting close to each other near the stern. They looked as if they were having an intense conversation, and Y/N felt unsure about approaching them. She didn’t want to intrude on whatever they were talking about, so once Robbie took his leave and went to join Gen and Jared, Y/N quietly slipped back down into the galley.

A burst of laughter came from the deck, drawing her attention towards the small steps that lead out. Bri was approaching her, a large, giddy grin drawing her full lips to stretch from ear to ear.

“Whatcha doin’ hiding in here, honey? Thought I saw you were heading over to join us.”

“Yeah, I was,” she started, then suddenly felt stupid for turning away from them. “I just figured I would use the bathroom real quick, then come out.”

Bri called her out on her blatant lie with one stern raise of her brow. “Really?” she asked, flatly.

From out on the deck, the sounds of a guitar could be heard playing, no doubt it was Robbie and Jensen messing around.

“I don’t know exactly what’s up with you, I mean, besides being freaked about the break-in and overloaded with work. But, if it’s what I think it is--”

“What do you think it is?” Y/N asked, cutting off her thought.

“I know what he said to you, Y/N. I came by that day after you left and we talked.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We just spent the week together!” Y/N huffed, mildly embarrassed that Briana knew and also a little annoyed that she wasn’t the one to tell her.

“Because you weren’t ready to talk about it or you would have brought it up. But as this little excursion goes on, I can see that you around him now, is weird. Look,” Bri took her arm and pulled her further into the room and away from the music. “He loves you. You need to tell him how you feel, or…”

“Or, what? He said he was okay with slow, he said--”

“Stop. Y/N, listen to me. Jensen would wait a million years for you to be ready. I’m sayin’ for YOUR sake… just tell the boy you love him already or you’re gonna drive yourself insane.”

Y/N swallowed Bri’s words down, right along with the lump in her throat. Once again, her friend hit the nail on the head. She needed to just shed the last of that force field that she was holding onto, and tell Jensen how she felt.

Nearly two hours later, the yacht was positioning itself to dock at the cove. Waiting on the long wooden pier that jettisoned out from the sandy beach were four people, all decked out in leis, grass skirts, and Hawaiian shirts. Jared threw the lines for the boat as the captain parked her perfectly flush with the dock.

Y/N stayed seated as the others started to disembark. Robbie’s guitar was laying next to her, and knowing he wouldn’t mind, she picked it up and started to pick at the string. Without thinking about it, she was struck by that same tune she had been over the winter.

‘You’re the one that I want… oo oo oo, honey…’

The reverb from the guitar faded as she let her fingers fall from the strings and let her mind take her back to that morning on the beach. She had just met him, and even though he was still a stranger, sort of mysterious, he was still somehow, familiar. That song intruded on her thoughts then, too. He was, after all, the one that she wanted; deep down she knew that after he jumped into a cold ocean just to get her to say yes. She just needed to figure out a way to tell him so he knew that she really meant it. Y/N felt like she owed him that considering how his admission caused her to react.

“Y/N… hey!” Jensen called out. “You with us?”

She snapped back to reality and saw him standing in front of her; his hand outstretched to help her up.

“Yeah, sorry, got lost for a minute,” she took his hand and rose from the seat, still holding Robbie’s guitar.

“You can leave your bag on the boat, it will be here all night,” he said and then he looked at her curiously. She realized he saw that she wasn’t completely herself, but didn’t ask her about it. He didn’t have too, because he felt it too. Though they had been okay, that thing still hung over them, and both of them desperately wanted it to rectify it.

But how?

“Oh, great. Okay,” she smiled and with her hand still in his, followed him to disembark.

Genevieve Padalecki went all out for her husband’s birthday. Y/N wandered around in awe of everything she had arranged. The entire party was set up on a small, private cove about the size of a football field. There were several tiki bars across the area, a bonfire pit, volleyball net, a roped off swimming area, barrels scattered throughout the cove; some of which were filled with water guns, water balloons and some filled with ice and bottles of beer, water and soda.

“Nice, huh?” Jensen asked as he came up behind her. He placed his hand on the small of her back, and she jumped slightly at his touch. “Whoa! You alright? Did I scare you?”

“No,” she breathed and could feel her heart start pounding again. “Maybe. A little. It's fine, I was just distracted. And yeah, what Gen did here… holy shit.”

“You want a drink? Hungry?”

“No, I’m good. I think I might go swim. Wanna come?” she asked, hoping maybe that if they could go out in the water together, maybe she could say… something to make things more like they were before.”

Without warning, a splash of water hit Jensen’s back as Jared launched a water balloon at him. Y/N laughed as Jensen’s face went from shock, then fell into revenge mode as he slowly turned and glared his best friend with narrow, accusing eyes.

“Sorry, Trix. Gonna take a rain check. I got some business to attend to first,” he muttered before taking off through the sand after Jared.

She watched him chase Jared through the cove, as they threw water balloons at each other, and riled up half of the other partygoers to do the same. Realizing she was still carrying Robbie’s guitar, Y/N ventured over towards the area designated for the food and found a safe place for it.

“You gonna play something for us tonight?” Robbie asked and approaching her with a full plate of food, then motioning towards the guitar with his chin.

Y/N shook her head. “Nah, I don’t think so. I didn’t mean to bring it off the boat, it just sorta--”

“Followed you?”

“Yeah, kinda. Since I lost mine…”

“You feel lost. That I get.”

She nodded. “You should play something though, you know I get all tingly when you do,” she teased, trying to steer the conversation away from a place she didn’t want it to go.

“We’ll see.... maybe if you play, I’ll play.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Alright, Robbie. Maybe. Come find me after a swim and a few drinks. I may be more pliable then.” She patted him on the shoulder and made her way towards the water.

“Don’t think I won’t, Y/N! I’m not above that!” he called after her, before taking a bite of the food on his plate and walking towards one of the long tables.

The view of the sunset from the cove was the best they could have hoped for. The colors were painted across the clouds in hues of pinks and purples, with a splash of orange for contrast. The moon, just about at full, already hung low in the east, waiting its turn to rise and join the celebration. After an afternoon of swimming, games, drinking, and laughs, Jared’s friends all migrated towards the newly lit bonfire while they waited for the unveiling of the pig from the pig roast.

The air was beginning to develop a chill, but Y/N just assumed it was because she was still in a wet bathing suit without her pull over or dry shorts. She snuck back to the boat and quickly changed into her extra clothes, and relished in how it instantly warmed her skin. In no time at all, she was back out on the beach of the cove and headed to rejoin everyone around the bonfire.

Everyone was already sat, forming a tight circle around the pit of flames. She looked for Jensen and saw him sitting snugly between Bri and Jared, talking and laughing. Directly across from him, she saw Robbie sitting there, with the last open space beside him. Somehow, she knew that was not by chance.

“This seat is taken?” she asked as she stepped over the makeshift log seat and then sat beside Robbie.

“Saved it just for you, buttercup,” he winked. “Have fun today?”

“I did,” she smiled, and then looked across the flames at Jensen.

He saw her, too. The corner of his mouth pulled into a smirk as gave her a little wave. She returned it in a similar fashion. She hadn’t seen much of him throughout the day, and knew it was only because he was enjoying the day off with his group of friends, and not because of any lingering awkwardness between them; she hoped.

“Did you have enough from the tiki bar that I could maybe convince you to sing something?” he wiggled his eyebrows excitedly, making her laugh.

“You first, Robert.”

“That wasn’t a no,” he chuckled, “so, I’m happy.”

The chatter around fire came to a lull as the sound of Robbie’s guitar replaced it. He was just strumming, but everyone knew that it wouldn’t just be that for long.

“Whatcha wanna hear?” he leaned over and asked Y/N while continuing to strum.

“Surprise me.”

Robbie found a rhythm he was happy with and slipped into the melody for The Rest. He played and sang, and encouraged some of the others to jump in on the song with him. Y/N was swaying along and enjoying the music, but every so often would look up and catch Jensen’s eye. She felt a million miles away from him, and as she watched him singing along with Robbie and the others, all she wanted to do was be near him.

Her mind began to drift as Robbie continued to play. Y/N thought about the night of their date, and how it was to be there with him, under the stars and sitting so close. She loved how delicately he kissed her, then showed up the next day just to take her to the airport.

‘You’re in love with him… just stop fighting it,’ she thought, chastising herself. ‘Sometimes you gotta just take the leap and--”

The claps and whistles of applause pulled her back and she followed suit. When she turned to look at Rob, he was watching her expectantly, holding out the guitar.

“Your turn,” he smiled impishly. “Deals a deal.”

“Yeesss! Y/N, it’s your turn!” Bri called out from over the flames. Following her, more encouragement from the party goers, including Jared and Gen, were egging her on. She gazed around the circle, suddenly nervous and unsure if she would be able to make her fingers work to do it.

When her gaze reached Jensen, she realized he was the only one not making any noise or gestures. He simply sat, leaning his forearms against his thighs, his hands clasped around a beer, hanging between his knees and his sights set firmly on Y/N. His mouth was relaxed and soft, his lips slightly parted as he watched her. His green eyes were narrowed intently on her as she cradled the guitar against her chest, before getting it in the proper position.

Y/N’s throat was suddenly very dry. Without asking, she reached down and pulled a swig from Robbie’s beer and apologized in a silent expression. He gave her a quick wink and nudged her with his elbow.

Now she leaned into him. “Whatcha wanna hear?” she asked.

“Sing something that means something to you,” he replied quietly, then casually let his line of sight linger towards Jensen before leaning back and settling in for her song.

Y/N’s fingers found the frets and pressed down on the strings. With her other hand, she began to strum and after a few chords, she cast her gaze down to the guitar and began singing softly, the rest of the group quieting down as the slower melody started to play. She thought about what the song meant to her, what it had been to her, and how she can use it now, to try and speak to Jensen.

“I got chills They’re multiplying And I’m losing control ‘Cause the power you’re supplying...”

‘It’s electrifying...’ Jensen sang softly, almost in a whisper but loud enough for Y/N to hear him.

Her head snapped up at the sound of his voice, her gaze instantly finding, and holding his across the fire. She paused for a moment to take a breath, her hand hovering closely over the strings. A twitch of the corner of Jensen’s mouth was all she needed to keep playing after having missed the next few beats in the song.

The song continued, but more as a conversation between them than a tune being played for the entertainment of the crowd.

“You better shape up ‘Cause I need a man And my heart is set on you

You better shape up You better understand To my heart I must be true”

‘Nothing left for me to do…’ Jensen sang with her. She continued on, as if everything in the song was what she had been wanting to say. But much like her old man, Y/N wasn’t great with verbalizing what she wanted, or how she felt. So, once again, she turned to music to do it for her.

When Y/N got to the chorus, he sang with her, softly, matching the tone and cadence of the melody.

“I better shape up, ‘cause you need a man…” Jensen took over for her, singing louder than he had been up to this point, making the next couple of verses everything he needed to say, and what she needed to hear.

“Yes I’m sure down deep inside…”

The last line of the verse and both of them looked at each other. They had been watching one another throughout the entirety of the song, but with this one line, it was saying everything they were both feeling but too scared to admit. The feelings that those lyrics left her with wasn’t just the rush of love she had for him, but the certainty with which she felt them. Whatever fear had been holding her back was gone and she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Jensen was the only one she would ever really want.

They went through the chorus two more times, the intensity and strength of her playing and their singing growing, before it faded out.

“Oh yes indeed,” Y/N sang the last line, knowing exactly where she stood now.

There was a beat where it got very quiet, but Bri and Robbie changed that quickly with their rousing applause and cat-call whistles. Y/N smiled humbly and nodded her head slightly before handing the guitar back to Rob. She gave Bri a rueful glance over the flames before letting her eyes drift back to Jensen, who was suddenly gone from the bonfire.

Jensen needed a minute to compose himself. From the moment he heard what song she was singing, he felt his chest tighten and his heart beat faster. That dream he had the night he met her felt prophetic now and it left him reeling. He didn’t plan on singing, but he couldn’t help it. He felt like she was speaking to him and then as it continued on, he couldn’t refrain from speaking back. When it ended, he felt so affected by the whole thing and had a build up of emotion that had been coming for a while despite his need to try and repress it.

He was on his way back to the bonfire now that he had calmed a bit when he found her off on her own. Y/N was standing near the edge of trees where the cove and the paths converged. Off in the distance, the party was in full swing; the music and noise of which faded a bit where he found her, and he was grateful for that. It was getting dark, and out here on the fringes of the party, the only light he could really see her by was that of the moon.

“Hey Trix, you alright?” he asked softly.

Y/N turned and saw him emerge from one of the wide paths. She looked up at him, and he could tell she was smiling; but it was that soft, thoughtful one she would get when she had been lost in something.

“Yeah,” she said and approached him. “I was just looking for you.”

“Here I am,” he smirked, but she didn’t smile in return. She looked slightly nervous as she fidgeted with her hands.

“Jensen… I…” she stuttered, and then stopped to draw in a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, I have been the biggest idiot.”

“What are you talking about? You’re not--”

“I am. Now, hush and let me talk. You and I, I don’t know how or why it works, but it does. I’ve been so afraid to admit how well it works, and because of that, I’ve been… I don’t even know. Scared seems ridiculous, but I guess, scared.”

She was rambling now, and as Jensen watched her pace back and forth trying to find the words she desperately grasped for, he couldn’t help but be slightly amused. He crossed his arms over his chest and continued to fall more in love as she stumbled over her words.

“You have to understand that I, trusting you--I didn’t know if I could, I mean, not that you gave me a reason not to--and then with the break-in, and all the other stuff--”

“Y/N,” he said, trying to get her attention, but she either didn’t hear him or ignored him.

“Then, that just happened, and I look up, and you’re gone, I thought for sure--”

“Y/N!” Jensen laughed, finally taking her by the shoulders and standing her square in front of him. “Stand still. Take a breath. Just say what you want to say.”

She looked up at him, and drew in a calming breath, exhaling through pursed lips. Jensen’s heart began to beat faster when he saw how her eyes were locked onto his, wistful, and dreamy. Y/N took Jensen’s hands from her shoulders, then interlaced her fingers into his and held them in front of her. She was quiet, and her eyes were fixed on the tangled knot their hands had become. She brought it to her mouth and kissed the back of his hand softly. Jensen’s stomach fluttered when he felt her lips on his skin.

“I love you, too,” she whispered, through a dry rough voice.

She released his hands slowly, gingerly placed her palms on his cheeks and guided her mouth onto his. He inhaled sharply before he kissed her back, surprised that she took the initiative. It started slow, but not hesitant; they savored each other for a few minutes with the soft, wanting, open mouth type of kiss that only two people in love could really appreciate. Jensen wanted more, needed more of her, but before he could, she retracted but stayed close, ghosting her nose over his; the sensation of which stirred the same feeling as seeing her just out of the shower did.

“Take me home, Hollywood.”

Jensen’s head snapped up, and he saw the sincerity in her eyes, pleading with him to take her away.

“You sure?”

She nodded and took his hand again. Y/N didn’t need to say anything, Jensen understood completely; she had said everything she needed to while they sang to each other around the bonfire. No one would miss them, and as much as he loved Jared, he wanted and had waited for Y/N for a long time. Jared would understand why he left.

Jensen kissed her again, and when she returned it with fervor, he knew it was time to go. He took her hand and playfully pulled her down the path that led away from the party. When they emerged onto the parking lot, the valets were already in place ready to assist him.

“I need a car, please,” Jensen asked with a polite smile, then turned slightly looking back at Y/N who was nearly attached to his side. “And quickly… if you could.”

Within minutes, the attendant had one of the rentals ready to go and Jensen was opening the passenger door for Y/N. Jensen backed out of the lot and headed towards the exit. It wouldn’t take long to get back to his place, but part of him just wanted to find the nearest motel. Deciding home was better, Jensen pointed the car in that direction and cruised down the main drag. With very few cars out at that time of night, they had the road to themselves.

A string of traffic lights sat between them and the house. The atmosphere of the car was tense, both Jensen and Y/N could feel the growing impatience between them. When they hit the first red light, Jensen threw the car in park and leaned over to her. His hand quickly tangled up in the hair at the back of her neck and pulled her needily towards him.

His mouth greeted hers, open and hungry, and for sixty seconds the light sat red, he devoured as much of her as he could. When it turned green, they regretfully parted until the next red light. He couldn’t get enough, no matter how many times he stopped to kiss her on the ride home. By the time he was pulling into the driveway, her lips were red and swollen from his relentless assault, but she immediately moved over to kiss him again once he turned off the ignition.

They parted long enough to make it to the stoop. The front door fell open as Jensen and Y/N stumbled in, their mouths locked together the second the key turned the knob. Jensen made sure it was closed and reset the deadbolt. As he did, she stepped back from him, the moonlight coming through the skylights in the foyer highlighting her skin as she slowly pulled her shirt up and over her head and let it fall to the floor.

Jensen stood motionless, unable to move towards her. Her (y/c) eyes locked onto his, and he felt himself tremble as she took her time unbuttoning the jean shorts, allowing them to join her gray pull over on the rug. Left in only her lacy bra and underwear, she moved towards him. He ran his fingers up the length of her arm, then raised both his arms in the air, as she pulled his thin cotton thermal top off over his head.

“Whoa, wait,” he gasped, pulling away from her and leaving a breath of space. “Are you sure? I mean, really sure?”

“Yes…. I am more than sure,” she purred and bit her lower lip as she ran a finger at the waist of his shorts.

She kissed him again, both of their breathing short and labored huffs through noses as their mouths occupied the other. He stopped it again before she could free him of more of his clothes, pressing his forehead against hers trying to catch his breath.

“Last time…”

“That was a long time ago, Jay,” she pleaded and went in to kiss him again.

“I don’t want to lose you. It's okay if you wanna stop and wait—”

“You won’t. I’m not going anywhere, except upstairs… with you. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Jensen bit his lower lip, using every ounce of his will power to not tear her bra off there in the foyer. “We can stop, Y/N. I don’t wanna push you.”

“No, you’re not. I told you to take me home. I want you, Jay. I want you to take me upstairs and do unspeakable things to me. I’m so fucking tired of being cautious with you. It's just… I was so damn reckless for so long, that when you came along…” she hesitated to continue, afraid to derail what was happening.

“Say it… when I came along, what?” he rasped, and nipped at her lips, which she kissed back immediately before he pulled back again. “Tell me.”

“I needed to be cautious with you because the stakes were so high. I knew from that first night on the beach that if I wasn’t careful, I would fall right into you. Hopelessly so. So I played it safe until I knew for sure that I wouldn’t lose. I’m sure now. I put everything on snake eyes, baby,” she chuckled and pressed her nails into the nape of his neck, drawing his body as physically close to her as she possibly could.

Jensen let her. They were nearly fused together now, her lips trailing soft, wanting kisses across his neck up to his ear. He shuddered when she kissed him there and felt his legs go weaker when her delicate breath fell against his ear.

“What’s the payout?” he whispered, unable to get his voice louder than that while under the spell of her touch.

Y/N pressed her lips to his earlobe and took it in her mouth, grazing her teeth along it as she whispered, “Everything.”

Jensen exhaled heavily, he knew that her phrasing was in good fun, but he also knew how vast the weight of her words were. Trusting wasn’t easy for her, and falling in love, after what she had been through, near impossible. Yet, here they were, together with nothing standing between them but their own insecurities. Pushing all of those aside, Jensen took her hand tightly into his, and lead her towards the stairs.

He pushed open the bedroom door and motioned for her to go first. She was barely a few steps in before she turned and found him in the barely illuminated room. He leaned over and turned on the bedside lamp.

“No, leave it off,” she breathed. He could hear the trembling in her voice, but slowly shook his head.

“No,” he rasped and took her chin between his fingers. “I want to see you.”

Jensen bent down and kissed her neck before reaching behind her and unclasping her bra, letting it slide from her body to the floor. A small whimper escaped her lips as his hands ran lightly over the swell of her breasts, then down her stomach, coming to land at the hem of her panties.

He swallowed thickly, his fingers trembling as he breached the edge of the lace. He looked back at her, and when he saw the want in her eyes, he knew it was really happening. Jensen’s tongue ran over his bottom lip before he bent down and kissed her again. She reached for his shorts, and this time made quick work of getting them off.

Jensen walked her back towards the bed, never breaking his gaze from hers. She collided with the mattress and fell onto it, causing her to giggle. Y/N climbed backward onto the bed, propping herself up on her elbows and watching him with a lustful need. Hovering over her, he kissed her breasts softly, then ran his tongue lightly over her nipples. The lightest graze of his teeth against the rigid nub caused an involuntary shiver to race down her flesh. She felt him grin against her, which only encouraged her to rake her fingers through his hair.

His mouth continued to work her over, eventually trailing down to her underwear. This time when he toyed with the hem, it was to pull them down, slowly and holding her gaze as he did so. When they were tossed aside, he looked to her one last time to be certain she wanted this. As if reading his thoughts, she smiled and bit her lower lip seductively, nodding with the slightest motion, and watching him with eyes begging him to touch her.

Jensen kissed the inside of her thigh as he let his hand brush against the hood of her sex. Y/N gasped, sucking air through her teeth and exhaling heavily at the sensation. Leaving his hand there, he continued moving back up her body and as his fingers slipped into her folds, his mouth found her neck and left a trail of biting, needy kisses up towards her ear.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” he whispered, then found her mouth and kissed her again. “I have wanted you from the minute I saw you.”

The way he rasped in her ear, and the more his fingers traced the lines and ridges of her sex, teasing her clit, caused her to writhe beneath him.

“Please,” she mewed, running her hands across his back trying to pull him closer to her.

“Please what?” he asked with a heavy breath before plunging back to her neck and pushing his fingers down towards her entrance, now taunting her there.

Her hands ran down to the edge of his boxers and desperately tried to push them down. The more he touched her, the more she needed to feel him inside her, and the months of waiting and making excuses to wait had grown old. She wanted him. Now.

Y/N opened her eyes and caught his gaze. Her eyes were narrowed and full of lust, her lips still swollen and quivering. “I need you, now…”

The way she spoke to, or rather commanded him, Jensen couldn’t wait either. What she said, the way she said it, it flipped a switch in him and he needed to end the teasing. He quickly stood from the bed and pushed the boxers off himself. Before climbing back beside her, he stopped and ran his tongue up through her slit, causing her to gasp and her hands to claw at the comforter. Her reaction made his cock twitch against her leg. She sat up on her elbows and took him in, finally seeing all of him for the first time.

Jensen climbed on top of her and positioned himself between her thighs. Y/N’s head was spinning and as Jensen’s lips fell to her again, she felt his dick slide between her legs as the tip brushed against her clit. Slowly, he slipped up inside her, just a little at first, but enough to raise a growl from the deepest parts of his chest.

“Jesus,” she whispered into his neck and began to feel drunk just on the sensation and scent of his skin. The further he moved up inside her, she arched her back into him, exposing more of her neck to his mouth. Jensen took full advantage and as he gave one last, slow push, filling her completely, he bit down on her neck as she breathed his name. “Fuuuuck.. Jay…”

His hips were swaying with a tempered, methodical movement, but with each pass, Y/N dug her nails in deeper to his back. The sensation of him inside her was euphoric, coupled with the way he was continuing to kiss her neck, and the feeling of his warm breath on her skin, she briefly wondered if it was possible to faint from really good sex; but this wasn’t just good sex, and she knew it. This was intimate and meaningful; that’s what made it feel so incredibly different.

Jensen lifted his head and kissed her jawline, finding her mouth again as his hips began to move faster. She drew her legs up and around his waist, giving him a better angle to slide into. His mouth fell slightly open, his eyes squeezing shut as he got lost in the moment. Jensen’s breaths became shorter, more labored, the faster he moved. The friction against Y/N’s clit and the speed at which he moved pushed her nearly to the edge. Her hands shot out to the comforter again, trying to hold on as he became nearly relentless.

He grabbed her wrists with his hands, moving them up and pinning them down above her head.

“Fuck… fu---” he couldn’t keep it together much longer.

“God, Jay… I’m…” Y/N whined sharply, and just as her climax hit, Jensen took her breast in his mouth and swirled his tongue around the nipple. He could feel her flutter around him as his cock swelled and neared his own orgasm.

He didn’t want it to end, so he slowed down just as her legs released from the grip they had on him and fell back to the bed in exhausted relief. Jensen chuckled softly, still swaying his hips into her, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hold it off; the mere sight of her post-climax was enough to bring his on. He brushed the hair from her face and kissed her lips gently. They held each other’s gaze for a moment before she ran her fingernails up along the back of his neck, her nerve endings still on fire from the release she just experienced.

“I love you,” she whispered, then pressed her lips to the ridge of his collarbone.

That one, soft kiss was what finally pushed him over the edge. Jensen felt his climax come in a head rush like he’d never had before. He clung to her for dear life; his head buried in the crook of her neck, his body trembling with contentment as he spilled inside her, and lavished her neck and shoulders with longing, and loving kisses.

When he was spent, he went to roll off her, but she held him there.

“Don’t, I like how you feel against me,” she purred and continued running her fingertips up and down his arms lightly.

“I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me now,” Jensen teased.

He did finally move off of her and stood from the bed. He reached a hand down, and helped her up, but didn’t let go of her once she was. Running his fingers through her hair, he studied her closely before kissing her once more. Releasing her just for a moment, Jensen pulled back the covers of the bed and motioned with his expression for her to get in.

She was bewitching in the way she smiled at him as she pulled him down on the bed. Jensen was on his back as Y/N hovered over him and he tucked the hair behind her ear.

“I love you, Trix,” he said in a broken whisper, so incredibly enamored with the woman who gazed down at him. Jensen thought his life couldn’t get much better than it was right then and there.

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