#brain ugh
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Feeling like an academic victim weapon
#dear kitty#dear god I am suffering#dissertation season is rough#loving it but also hating it now#my topic is great#but I’m so drained and burnt out#I just wanna nappp#textpost#academia#university#brain ugh
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I'm... I'm trying not to make more ocs but... Look at these story ideas. I'VE ALREADY BEEN IGNORING MY OTHER GUYS I CAN'T MAKE MORE.
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First encounter with Death / Last encounter with Death
#my brain when parallels:#HSHFHGDGJGHJJDJS#i could talk about this cat’s character development all day#my god#ugh#puss in boots#puss in boots 2#puss in boots the last wish#puss in boots: the last wish#puss in boots spoilers
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#the week suuuuucckkkssss#and I can't even get high about it bc I need my brain to study#ugh#anyways#dennis reynolds#<3#glenn howerton#iasip#idk
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you. yes you, person with rejection sensitive dysphoria. this message is for you. your friends DON'T hate you. they aren't mad at you. they aren't talking behind your back or wished to cut their friendship with you. they love you and treasure you and they are good people who wouldn't hurt you like that! ok, that's all. have a nice day.
#this is for everyone with RSD... except for me#my friends do hate me and do think i'm a burden in their lives and they do wish they had a way to let me know they don't wanna be friends#anymore but they feel pity so they never do#... this is a joke that turned too real and too dark too soon#it'll get better#anyhow this message will self destruct in-#i'm all over the place my brain is being mean to me i'll go to bed ugh#nic posts#and drowns in self pity for NO REASON#i'm going to kick my brain's butt#ok ok bye#rejection sensitive dysphoria#rsd is a bitch#rsd things
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#good thing dude said almost
#911#buddie#911edit#buddieedit#eddiediazedit#911verse#911 spoilers#911 on fox#911 fox#911 abc#evanbuckleyedit#my edit#otp: you don't need to pretend with me#my brain just decided on this so#his gut was right about buck#buck may be a disaster some times but hes been there#tumblr fought me for an hour to let me post this ugh#long post#flashing tw#1k#evan buckley#eddie diaz
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"sister imperator won’t call copia his title because she doesn’t want to give him an ounce of respect/power!!!!!!!" she won’t call him by his title because she was bouncing on nihil’s dick while calling him papa and she does NOT need to associate copia with that
#was reminded of this post that i made and deleted a while ago so. i will try again i suppose#SHE LITERALLY SAID THAT THE WORD PAPA WAS PEVERSE LIKE HOWWWWWWW ELSE ARE YOU GUYS TAKING THAT#sister did NOT think that through when promoting cardi#like arguably this is something copia is on the same page as her on😭 “because of the old guy??” he does NOT want to think about it too hard#ugh some of the shit you guys use against sister is so funny like girl use your brain……….#the way she giggles and calls nihil papa in the call chapter like GUYS………#ghost#sister imperator#ramblings
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I had a dream I was packing. I’ve already moved. Why am I stressing out this much ugh
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Part One / Part Two (You are Here) / Part Three
A03
Hopper had undersold Harrington's condition.
Wayne hadn't expected anything pretty, but the face that turned to them as they walked through the door almost had him freezing in place.
Black eye, bruised chin, split lip.
More and more bruises, some faded and some very new, trailing down the kids neck.
The rest was hidden by his preppy little polo shirt, but Wayne didn't doubt that there were more.
Harrington tried to stand when they entered the room and the way he moved--entirely unbalanced, clearly in a lot of pain--made Wayne think the only thing the kid really needed was a hospital.
Because Steve Harrington hadn't just been beaten.
He'd been tortured--and very recently strangled.
(Abruptly, Wayne realized that Hopper had implied the boy had been in the mall fire--just as much as he implied the mall fire was anything but.
He also hadn't stated how Harrington had escaped the Suites trying to break into his house.)
"Sit down." Hopper commanded, and Wayne expected Harrington to do anything but listen.
Say something cocky, or act the part of a demanding little shit maybe, despite the condition he was in.
Instead the kid just sighed in relief and dropped like a stone, right back into the chair.
Hopper came around his desk, talking all the while. "Steve, this is Wayne. Wayne, Steve."
"Hello Sir." Steve croaked politely. His voice was wrecked, no doubt from the necklace of finger shaped bruises around his neck.
"You're going to stay with him for a while, and you're gonna pay him for the privilege." Hopper informed him, as he began digging around his desk. "Money, chores, whatever Wayne wants."
Wayne held his gaze as Steve turned to appraise him.
Would Harrington pitch a fit?
Would he look at Wayne's work clothes, streaked with dirt and sweat, with the name of the warehouse embroidered in the corner and crinkle up his nose, just like his daddy did?
Hopper didn't lie, but a part of Wayne wanted to see just how different this Harrington was. If the respectful demeanor was an act done for Hopper.
Or perhaps, Hopper had mentioned Steve's father for a reason, instead of his mother. Did he adopt her ice-like approach to life?
Micro managing and long-held grudges were Stella Harrington’s game, and she excelled at it.
Steve however, did nothing of the sort, instead settling with the situation in a way that reminded Wayne far too strongly of the men and women who'd come home from war.
"Okay." The kid said simply, after a long moment of consideration. He turned back to Hopper. "But we need to tell the rest of the Par--"
Here he cut a look back to Wayne, correcting himself. "the kids. I don't want them showing up at my house trying to find me and freaking out."
"They wouldn't--" Jim paused, fingers freezing from the rummaging they'd been doing. "they absolutely would, goddammit." He muttered darkly.
"I'll tell the kids. The only thing I want you doing right now is laying low. I need to get a hold of Owens, but it's gonna take time to do that, and more time to fix this, so as of right now, Harrington? You're on vacation." He pointed sternly, as if Steve might argue.
The kid looked too tired and messed up to bother trying.
"I mean it. You're out of the country, where is anybody's guess. No one's seen you and no one better be seeing you, got it?" His voice held firm, and Wayne had to blink because the tone here wasn't one of a police chief warning a teenager--but of a father talking to his son.
He knew, because his own voice did that now. Took on a worried tone that masqueraded as something more like annoyance and seriousness.
"Yes, Sir." Harrington said, remaining weirdly compliant. "Consider me gone."
A hand came up to briefly press above one eye, and Wayne wondered if the kid had been looked over, or if they had just crammed him into Hopper's office without offering so much as a tissue box.
How many painkillers did they have back at the house? Wayne usually kept a good bottle around, but Steve was going to need more than that…
He found himself once again cataloging Steve's wounds, this time comparing them to the medicine cabinet he had at home.
"I expect you to be a damn good house guest, you hear me?" Hopper continued, trying to cut a menacing figure. He finally found what he was looking for; pulling out a large, padded envelope.
He handed it over to Harrington, who took it without looking, shoving it into the duffle bag he'd had sitting at his feet.
There was a smudge of red on the handle of said bag, that matched perfectly up to a shittily done wrap on Steve's right hand.
Wayne mentally added 'buy more bandages' to his list.
Steve nodded at Hopper again. "Yes, Sir."
Jim’s eyes narrowed. "Quite that, you know I hate that."
The briefest glimmer of mischief crossed Harrington's face. "Sorry, Sir. Won't happen again, Sir."
'Ahh.' Wayne thought. 'So there's a teenager in there after all.'
Jim rolled his eyes. "Get out of my office."
"Thanks Hop." Harrington said, finally dropping that odd obedience, a hint of a smile on his battered face.
He stood, and Wayne had to stop himself from offering an arm out as Steve reached for his bag and limped towards him.
He paused right before he left Hopper's office, hand on the doorframe.
"You'll check up on Robin too, right?" He asked, and for the first time his tone took on something more alive--and filled with worry. "And Dustin? Erica?"
"Dustin and his mom are finally taking me up on my suggestion to see their family in Florida for a while, and the Sinclairs are taking a sabbatical from Hawkins. I'm working on the Buckley's." Hopper drummed his fingers on the desk. "So far, no one else besides you and El have been targeted, and we're going to keep it that way."
Steve let out a breath, and while Wayne could tell the worry hadn't left him, he could almost physically see Steve force himself to put it away.
Another act that was far beyond the kid's years.
A different officer popped up as they walked down the hall towards the exit, waving his hand madly. "Harrington! Chief says you forgot this!" He barked.
(Or tried to anyway. Callahan wasn’t the most aggressive of officers and frankly, never would be.)
A slim sports bag was held in his hands, and Steve nearly tripped over his own feet when he tried to turn and claim it.
"I'll get it." Wayne said, knowing his tone sounded gruff.
No use for it. He could either sound gruff or sound sad, and Wayne knew better than to start off the relationship with yet another hurt young man by acting sad.
Pity wasn't gonna win him any favors here.
He took the bag, slinging it over his shoulder, uncaring of the wince on Harrington's face until something sharp poked at his shoulder.
Several somethings, in fact.
"What the hell do you got in this thing?" He asked once they hit the parking lot, voice low as he escorted Steve to his truck.
"Just a baseball bat, sir." Steve said, in the exact same tone Eddie used every time he thought he was bein’ slick.
Considering the thing in the bag could have passed for a baseball bat if not for the sharp pokey bits, it wasn’t a bad attempt. Steve just hadn’t accounted for the fact that Wayne lived with Eddie.
An unfair advantage, really.
‘Least there can’t be any baby racoons in the damn bag.’ Wayne thought idly.
Went on to gently put the bat in the backseat, watching as the kid struggled to lift himself into the truck.
"You can drop that, I take too being called Sir about as well as Hop does." He said, keeping his tone nice and calm, hoping to ease into calling Steve out on his lie.
Fussed with a few dials on the stereo, giving Steve an excuse to take his time before starting the engine and taking the long way home.
Wayne wanted to talk a little-- without the chance of Ed’s interrupting.
"Son,” He started off. “I was born in the morning, but not this morning. I'm hoping to make the next few weeks as easy as I can for both of us, and I can't do that if you're starting off with a lie."
Steve blinked, turning to face him in a matter that was too fast for his injuries. He didn't bother hiding the hurt it caused him, but his voice stayed even as he spoke.
"What do you mean Si--Wayne."
"Nice catch.” Wayne said. “We’ll get you there yet.”
It was a trick he'd learned with Eddie--little tidbits of praise went a long way when it came to gaining trust.
Especially with kids who hadn't ever been given much.
Harrington seemed smart to it, or perhaps was just hesitant to speak in general because he remained quiet, not offering up any info. No further lies, but nothing towards the truth, neither.
Which was fine. Wayne didn’t think a little pushing would hurt.
"That bat of yours was digging into my shoulder like a bee swarm." Wayne continued, when it became clear Steve wasn't talking. "I'm more a fan of football than baseball, but last I checked they hadn't changed the design of a bat."
"What teams?" Steve asked, perking up a touch. "Of football. Which ones are yours?"
Wayne could ignore it of course, or demand Steve give him an answer to the question he asked.
He did neither. "I’m liking the Colts since they got moved here. You?"
"Green Bay Packers, though I like the Colts too--that trade in 84’ was crazy." Steve said. After a second he proved that answering instead of pushing was the right move because he added; "What did Hopper tell you? About…" He trailed off, making a gesture Wayne didn't bother trying to interpret.
"He said some things. I've guessed a few others." Wayne admitted. Cut a little look out of the corner of his eye as he came to a stop sign. "I know the feds are real interested in you after Starcourt."
Steve took that in, hands tightening on the handle.
"It really is a baseball bat." He said, a little fast and with the tiniest hint of that challenge Wayne had been looking for. "It just also has nails hammered into one end."
Wayne took that in with one nice, slow blink.
"A bat with nails in it." He said, and it made a hell of a lot of sense compared to the sensation he'd felt carrying the case. "You use it against anyone?"
"Some of the feds." Steve admitted, and even with his eyes on the road Wayne could tell he was being stared at.
Judged.
Not in the way one expected a rich kid to judge, but in the way Eddie had, those first few months he'd lived here. The times when he'd push, just a little, to see what Wayne's reaction would be.
Eddie hadn't done it in a damn long time, but Wayne recognized the behavior nonetheless.
"Anybody else?" He asked.
"Nobody human." Steve replied.
"Alright." Wayne said, and made a mental note to drop all questions related to that.
He didn't need to know, definitely didn't want to know, and had a feeling if he did know he'd find himself being watched by the same spooks after Steve.
"I've got a few deck boxes that lock on my porch. Think you'd be agreeable to leaving the bat in one?"
Steve paused, hand clenching tighter around the strap of his duffel bag. "If you gave me a key so I could get it in an emergency, I'd be happy to."
He tried to sound calm, even a little charming in that sort of upper-class businessman sort of way, but the fear bled through.
The kid wasn't happy separating from the bat, and given it sounded like it might have saved his life recently, Wayne understood the hesitation.
With an internal apology to Eddie, he promptly threw his nephew under the proverbial bus. "I've got my nephew at home and he'd be far too interested in it, is all. Blades and weapons and such tend to attract him, and I don't need to be rushing anyone to the ER."
All of which were very true facts (one Wayne learned the time he'd allowed Eddie to bring a sword home, only for him to nearly cut his own nose off winging the thing around) but he figured it might make Steve more amenable to separating from it.
Sure enough, some of the tenseness bled out of Steve's shoulders. "Yeah that's fair."
The truck hit a few potholes as they finally turned into the trailer park, and the kid hissed, a quiet sound.
Judging by the uncomfortable wince, and hands clenched into his jeans something painwise was giving him trouble.
"When was the last time you took a pain pill?" Wayne asked, doing his best to weave around the other holes that dotted the gravel roads.
Steve blinked. "Uh…"
"You take any today son?"
Steve his head.
"Didn't have time to grab it." He said, offering a sad look to his pack.
Course he hadn't.
"Let's get you inside then and get you some." Wayne said with a sigh. Thankfully Eddie's van wasn't here--Wayne was fairly certain he had band practice today but knowing him it could be a million other things.
Just meant he had to acclimate Steve as fast as he could, to try and get the poor guy settled before Ed’s came in.
He just hoped life and lady luck would work with him, for once.
#hands on knees#this is gonna have more than three parts fffffff#FAIR WARNING I do jump between Wayne and Eddie’s pov in this.#Everything Ive written so far while in parts for tumblr would basically be chapter 1 on A03#Eddies POV change would be chapter two#Ugh Im gonna have to put this on A03. Dammit brain.#also I updated this very fast for me#no one get excited Idk the brain is doing#steddie#beat to shit Steve Harrington#wayne pov#outsider pov#wayne as a BAMF#I tried to get to the part where Eddie shows up but it just got too long for a tumblr post#pre steddie#wayne and Hopper both as psuedo parents to Steve#tw injuries#0o0 fanfics#stranger things
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Do you guys ever imagine what the night after Arthur met Merlin was like for Arthur?
Like, I imagine him going through the normal motions of his night, but constantly thinking about this random guy that dared to insult the prince. And yeah, now that guys in the stocks because he should be… right?
But ever since that encounter Arthur can’t stop thinking about it and it’s not because he hated it. He feels different. It felt different being around him. Why? Why does he feel a small ember of excitement at the idea of seeing him again?
He’s frustrated by all of this. What happened shouldn’t be affecting him this much. It doesn’t matter. And yet it feels like he just met someone he didn’t know he was waiting for.
“There’s something about you, Merlin… I can’t quite put my finger on it”
#I think about him dying to see this guy again#but not admitting it to himself#ugh I need to be inside his brain#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin bbc#merthur#arthur pendragon#merlin x arthur#arthur x merlin#merlin emrys#mine#merlin 1x01
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baby I was born an effigy
#BLACKLIGHT VERSION AYYOOO#sorry Jacobi lives rent free in my brain I had to draw him more#also JHARIAH AT IT AGAIN WITH THE BLORBO SONGS UGH#artists on tumblr#traditional art#wolf 359#wolf359#w359#wolf 359 fanart#daniel jacobi#si 5
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inspired by this post on twitter lol
#pathologic#мор утопия#haruspex#artemy burakh#гаруспик#артемий бурах#my art#ugh feels so good to be into pathologic again#omw to replay patho 2#and probably patho 1 as well but as daniil#literally jumping on the ceiling tbh i feel how fixation rewires my brain#are there. are there any patho rp chats. or something#i know where to find some on russian but in english? i wish
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You’ve always known Ume’s great with kids. With the way he’s always so playful with them, so helpful with whatever they might need — it’s like they’ve got a big brother in him. And it’s true to some extent. He sees everyone in Makochi as family, after all.
So when you spot him cradling a shop owner’s newborn baby in his arms, it doesn’t surprise you. Even babies love him. No surprise there.
But when he coos at the little one so gently, gazing down at them like one of his own, letting them grab his finger with their tiny hands, you feel your heart flutter. You walk over to stand beside him, stunned with your heart absolutely melting at the sight.
He turns to meet your gaze with the brightest smile on his face as he makes the baby give you the tiniest, most precious wave. You give them both a tiny wave back. Leaning towards you to give you a kiss on the crown of your head, he whispers an “I love you” into your scalp. You could only muster a soft hum in response, leaning your cheek on his shoulder with your arm wrapped around his waist, reaching a finger out for the baby to hold too.
And he understands. Maybe someday it’ll be one of your own in his arms.
‘Our kid someday’, he thinks to himself.
Someday.
Maybe someday.
౨ৎ ˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩
#windbreaker#wind breaker#wind breaker x reader#windbreaker x reader#windbreaker fluff#umemiya fluff#hajime umemiya x reader#umemiya x reader#hajime umemiya fluff#wrote this earlier at midnight while I was out with friends lol ;; drinking while thinking about ume cradling a baby#soft ume on the brain tonight my friends#ALSO SHOUT OUT TO OLDMAMA FOR POSTING UME’S SKETCH OF HIM HOLDING A BABY DJFJNDNMVMNCNF#UGH the way he looks a the baby so softly ajdjfjns :-((((#he deserves the world. absolutely.
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I think there absolutely needs to be more room for “holy shit that’s so cool” disability acceptance. Saw a video of a guy with a glow in the dark prosthetic eye like guys that’s so fucking awesome bro has a glow in the dark eye. Or I know someone who BUILT multiple of their own arms !! That’s bonkers guys!!
#chaoticbuggybitchboy#physical disability#I can’t wear contacts for brain reasons but I WANT A GLOW IN THE DSRK EYE UGH#my posts that hit it off
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Wayne Munson can’t read beyond a very basic elementary level, enough to read warnings and food labels, road signs, small notes Eddie leaves for him, but that’s it
But he tells stories. Always has. That’s where Eddie got it from
So when Eddie is in the hospital, in a medically induced coma so he can heal properly without pain, Wayne struggles. He knows he can tell Eddie stories, but he wishes he could read to him, give him something familiar to grab onto
One day he walks in to see Steve reading The Hobbit to him, blushing when he’s caught like Wayne would give two shits about anything when it comes to someone supporting Eddie
It happens every day after that and Wayne listens. He hears the way Steve stumbles over words sometimes, how he pauses after a complicated paragraph as if he needs to read it silently again to understand what it said
And he realizes Steve isn’t a strong reader either, but he’s pushing himself for Eddie
He doesn’t say anything outright, but he starts sitting next to Steve when he reads instead of across the room, watches his fingers glide across the pages and associates words with what he says, starts to feel like maybe he wants to try reading to Eddie too
Steve doesn’t say anything outright either but he recognizes what Wayne’s doing, hopes he’s able to find the confidence to try because Eddie won’t care how fast or well he reads to him, he’ll just be happy that his uncle is trying
Steve intentionally leaves the book on the bed when he leaves to get food at the cafeteria and hopes Wayne tries
When he comes back he quietly peeks around the doorway and smiles to himself when he sees that Wayne is trying, he’s going slowly, sounding out words and names that are actually difficult for anyone not just people like them
Decides he doesn’t want to interrupt today, gives them privacy for this
Doesn’t say anything when the bookmark is only three pages ahead of where steve was the day before, just smiles and picks up where Wayne left off
When Eddie wakes up, Wayne is the one reading to him, Steve asleep in the corner
Wayne still prefers telling his own stories, may never be a great reader, but Eddie will never forget the way it felt to see Wayne so engrossed in his favorite book
#ugh this is gross#wayne munson#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie#headcanon#I’m working on chapter 13 but my brain keeps taking side roads#I’m on a dirt road with no end in sight right now
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