#boy what a ride

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

Carrie watches Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 15-20 aka “Let’s go down the line, what’s everyone afraid of?”

back with part two of my chaotic list of personal highlights that i wrote down pretty much for myself exclusively. Full of SO many spoilers, you’ve been warned

Blast from the Passed

Murph’s godawful luck with the dice is peak comedy in this episode, first he immediately volunteers to roll for the whole table?? why would you do that?? and then Riz says a cringey line, shoots at someone right in front of him, misses, rolls a nat 20 to hide, and sits in his hiding place agonising over how embarrassing that was

Johnny Spells making a two second entry onto the playing field

“one D4 for gay spit” “Aaaagh! Love wins! It’s fear, it’s out of fear, it’s a horrifying realisation for him.”

Adaine getting caught in the jocks’ weird group huddle and Riz acting like she’s in mortal danger from it

“Where in this city is your father, boy?” “In a room, with a bunch of goblins!”

Brennan’s face when he goes for his coffee forgetting he spit a candy die into it like twenty minutes earlier

“Remember me, Daybreak? I shoot him.”

the entire chaos surrounding Riz getting stuffed into a cannon but especially Fig (or Emily?) yelling “no, take me with him, he can’t go alone!” and “Can I roll to see if he’s having a good time?” “Who, Bill Seacaster? Yeah, he’s having a blast!”

“Tracker jumps, 69!” Gorgug, with audible desperation: “I’m in the same square!”

Murph now being the default roller for the lair check and the entire table cheering for him

he rolls a nat one, gets to re-roll with Fig’s last luck point, and rolls a nat two

My Green Heaven

“Well, The Ball is a lil’ angel so...”

Ally’s complete incapability to remember the elven names and Brennan’s slowly mounting annoyance with it

Riz waking up in his father’s arms and instantly panicking that he might get dropped my heart

also the first full sentence he says to his long-lost father is “I got a bunch of tattoos mum is going to be so mad at me”

honestly in all of these emotional scenes I am Lou and Lou is me

“We’re in heaven! Is this what not having anxiety is like? This is crazy, my heart... is just beating like what I assume a normal person’s heart would!”

his dad told all his colleagues about Riz’s freshman year adventures :(

“On behalf of the Association for Divine Wrath please accept this memorial that your death at the hand of Emperor of the Red Waste was avenged by Your son, Riz Gukgak” “Don’t even talk to me until I’ve had my death avenged”!!!

“People got it sexually from having sex, dad!!” *voice cracks* *sweating profusely* “I thought heaven fixed this stuff!”

“I met your mum when I was 27 years old. You get what I’m saying?” “...I’m like fifteen, I don’t know how old you are, I just know that you’re old.”

I love how Murph is the one who has to singlehandedly shoulder the lore-heavy plot parts because he’s the best at keeping it all straight in his head, but also the one who will suddenly make the least sensible leaps in logic and then not. budge. no matter how many times Brennan gently tries to shoo him away from that path. He is so stuck on this angle that Riz’s father slept with Kalina which... just the logistics of that would be so many hoops to jump through

that said, a fifteen year-old with some complex feelings about his own sexuality fully fixating on this STD angle is probably the most accurate thing that could have happened

“It’s just not... happening yet. Not just the act is not happening, but the wanting it is not... And my friends are all super horny.” “Kiddo, if it never happens, that’s also okay. There’s a lot to life to enjoy and you already matter a lot to your friends and a lot to your family.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the 847th time this week I am so upset mainstream media isn’t like this

“Work is an act of love” yeah cool can we pump the breaks on this rollercoaster I’m gonna need a lot of lore or a lot of Hilda Hilda-type shenanigans to recover from all that

let me use this moment to say how brilliantly paced this campaign is because Brennan launches into a lore dump immediately after this

“He’s dating mum. But he’s like... he‘s always getting trapped in gems, it’s kinda pathetic.”

Emily and Siobhan silently figuring out a plot point by gesturing across the table

“Well, I’ve got some pretty powerful friends, so...” Riz is so precious

Adaine wanting to save the wrapping paper :(

“TO WAR! Or, to market, but then TO WAR!”

“I’m so happy you have chosen to spend time with my daughter. It’s an incredible improvement over previous partners, if you were to chart it on a graph, a truly incredible spike...”

Siobhan’s face when Fig asks why everyone knows about her and Ayda!

Just. Ayda.

“How did Gilear take it?” “I don’t know, he was very adult about it, but he also is an adult so...” “I’m sorry, I came in way too hot with the little gift card.”

“Tell me all the least important stuff.” I’m *crying*

Zac is deeply underrated as a player, he pulls the most incredible conclusions or minute details out of the hat and never gets any credit for it because he plays loveable dumbasses

Ally’s plan to defeat the big bad by going viral with another seafood party

thrilling online banking content

The Forest of the Nightmare King

“Just upload it as like, ASMR: Puddle” “Like a Laurel/Yanny type thing”

ahhh fuck this is so creepy? The unicorn? nopenopenope no thank you

Fearful Symmetry

“Oh no, he’s making a face. Which one of Brennan’s faces is that?” hard same, Lou.

Zac is such a treasure: “I don’t want to take these stones! I don’t want any of this!” Also once again he’s making by far the smartest choices

“If we take these drugs and cast fear to push us into a bad trip?” Well this all sounds like a great idea

“Riz’s greatest fear is to not have a plan so I’m just gonna run into the woods. Not even gonna take the drugs, because that would be a plan.”

Adaine abandoning her support animal AND her anxiety meds is physically painful. stop I’m so attached to these kids

oh boy, the Baron scene. Yikes yikes yikes

the incredibly cooky accent is such a weird effect, it’s so dumb and so funny but laughing at it feels like a hysterical terror kind of laugh it is SO fucked up

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Brennan accidentally hits the absolute rawest deepest fear I’ve ever experienced as I’m working through my own shit and it is physically nauseating to watch this moment even though I know every word of it, “the years will go by and everyone will find someone that matters more to them than you” because. that’s it right. it’s not even that they’ll abandon you. it’s just that you’ll end up caring more about them than they care about you. you have all this love and only your friends to give it to but they all find partners who are now receiving most of theirs. and you can’t even blame them because they’re doing nothing wrong.

I do love that they’ve gone for this because this is such a particular fear. It’s not a crushing thing, it’s a creeping thing. It’s more a despair than a fear? Like it’s more an absence of hope than a presence of fear and I think that is really interesting to put as like a deeper layer of fear

Riz trying to get out of this specifically by pulling apart the logic of the mirages he’s seeing is on brand (but also this is the one moment where you can tell this probably isn’t a thing Murph or Brennan had to work through themselves, because that wouldn’t fucking help. It’s the concept that’s terrifying, the individual hypothetical partners are completely interchangeable. The correct [worse] response from Baron to this argument would have been just a shrug and a “yes, maybe your friends don’t want these people. But they want someone. Your ideal world where you’re all just together will never be enough for them.”).

“Okay, let’s go down the line, what’s everyone afraid of?” “That’s the most Brennan thing I’ve ever heard.”

Oh good Zac is going for Imposter Syndrome yeah this whole episode is just going to go great for me mentally

Adaine :( nonono this is painful

Fantastic, so I’m just gonna be deeply personally attacked by everyone’s fears except for Fabian and Kristen then. Good good

Gorgug is truly just. the best of the good beans. “Well, I think I’m gonna give it a try” what a champ

oh GOD the sexy rat is back this is a trip

“I take comfort in seeing all my friends there, making out. Not in a weird way.” “Like what amount of comfort?” “A normal amount!”

“.......Is my greatest fear sleeping on the job? I’m so lame!” and the look of complete disgust on Murph’s face

Fig stumbling onto this horrific village full of weird trapped bodies and finding one alive and immediately just going “Hi hello do you need help?” is so pure

the sheer JOY on Brennan’s face when he finally gets to get back at Emily for the Hilda Hilda from 22 Hilda Street and 22 Hilda Boulevard bullshit

Fig and Ayda :( but also “I sit down to write the song She Likes Me For Me, which doesn’t exist in this universe yet.”

"I do not know why I was so easy to discard” holy SHIT Ms Thompson

Spring Break! I Believe In You! Part 1

gotta love the title

Ally’s terrible metaphors

Kristen punches a god

the Abernant sisters :( Siobhan is incredible in these scenes

“Wizards don’t have goddamn cures. We don’t care about other people!”

“Adaine, your father is dead as he leaves the ground” GOOD. We love to see that.

Adaine offering her sister a bunk bed in her tower room :(

“I’m a D8, babe”

oh god is this all riding on a Murph attack roll they are doomed

GILEAR???

“I HAVE NO PRIDE” oh this is brilliant I am wheezing

“You have fully James Bond-ed yourself out of these bonds”

the worst two people fail the roll to not look at Gilear’s junk. poetic cinema.

“Your grandfather made this sword, Fabian! He’s... really good at swords! Slow, but good!”

“I think death is the ultimate mystery! I think it’s fine that she’s dead!”

“Gorgug, you are not related to Ayda in any way. Not your mum, not your dad. Not even a cousin, probably.”

Spring Break! I Believe In You! Part 2

“Every time Kristen and I are together something terrible happens. Team Rizten is 0 for 3.”

more riveting online banking content

Emily weaponising Brennan’s worldbuilding against him

“I feel deep down in my heart that I, too, am a low-quality child.”

the dig at that weird Legolas cgi move in Two Towers

every time Brennan calls the guys “baby” is an absolute delight

Adaine and Fabian thirsting over Riz without his newsboy cap

Murph stealing Emily’s incredibly cool move (with a double disclaimer)

“If you want to use a bonus action to disengage, you could.” “I... I need the bonus action to live.”

paramour/succubus, “Mr. The Insatiable”

hall of fame of worrying lines from Brennan: “Okay, first (!!) let me know when you drop, ‘cause you’re gonna drop.”

The PapaRizzi, when you throw a mirror at someone and shoot them (and livestream it)

“Mission accomplished, dad” Riz is so cringe I love him

“Adaine, how would you feel if I potentially killed your mum?” “I would be HONOURED”

Ally’s clutch nat 20 and Brennan’s “what the fuuuck EVERY SEASON!”

“I think you should start planning for this.” “Brennan, just cry now. Just get it out.” “I actually, I... I don’t know what to do.” “I wish we were all in one room so we could be like running around!”

“Are my bones six hundred years old for real?”

Ally’s character walking up to a god and asking if the god is okay

“I would follow you... is it too early for that? This feels like a weird first date.”

Brennan is forcing Ally to make up deities on the spot again

“I love them all, Riz the most, we already know this, Adaine has my finger in her pocket, these are all my closest friends.”

“Wait, we still need the crown for our grade!”

“If I dream it, would it be real?” Brennan, dead-eyed with a forced serene smile: “Yes, in your heart. Let’s move on.” 

Adaine’s mum being chased through the forest by the Vands

“I’m broke.” “We might be making ad revenue at this point!”

None of them get Brennan’s insinuation that Chungledown Bim followed them into the fucking forest

“Hey Aguefort, remember I ordered the most magnificient thing you could ever make? Turns out you already made it, so I take that back.” 

A final shout-out to Garthy O’Brien’s accent, and their whole deal

Oh, the reveal, the reveal! 

“My sister is sort of wanted for quite a lot of crimes in Solace...”

Jawbone and Adaine :(

Riz gives a slide show for his mother

“In return for the spell that I killed my father with, I wrote you Ayda’s comprehend subtext.”

Adaine being bad at knowing when people are flirting and Fig being bad at flirting because she’s imitating Kristen who is an aggressive desaster flirter

oh no the tattoos

[sasukeless]

what if i was devoted to you as a knight is to his king and became your right hand and sword and i was ready to lay my life for you and your dreams

what if i was devoted to you as a dog is to his owner and i would attack and maul anyone who dared to touch you but i’d also bite and claw you if you ever tried to leave me

what if

[naeminaeri]

Commission for the hot and inspiring fic "What it Means to Love a Boiadeiro" 👀💦 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/53592325/chapters/135834988) for @earlofbats

View full at https://x.com/naeminaeri/status/1837600422552363441

[inkskinned]

one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.

one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.

i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.

the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.

my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.

i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.

[egophiliac]

So how’s ride kamens going for you as I just pulled my self together long enough to read the other half of the current main story

I've been working on catching up on the event stories since they announced the upcoming main story update! (I totally bombed the last few events...they're so fast-paced and I just didn't have time...😭)

and then of course they went and dropped THIS on us today

(you don't understand, I LOVE Tajador and I already love the two blurry frames they've given us of non-silhouetted Kelka, I'm ready to absolutely lose my shit come the announcement/reveal(?) stream on Thursday --)

[robot-carl]

I need a mod for scarecrow in red dead redemption. Scarecrow belongs in the old west.

Click for better quality cause tumblr hates me.

[tishrivers]

JACOB SCIPIO: Bad Boys: Ride or Die (2024)

[hoyas-big-head]

jacobscipio

[tateringss]

going crazy over characters who see themselves as weapons finally meeting someone who sees past their blade. who looks at their hands drenched in blood and asks "what is wrong?" instead of "what did you do?". because that person knows that the blood on their hands never came from them, that being a weapon means that there is always a wielder. that they are not responsible for being kept sharp. that it isn't their fault they were never given a scabbard.

[roseyswords]

FULL MOON SPOILERS!!!!

So first of all..

I was not expecting to see the cherubs this episode. That... That was a big shock. Seeing them and their plotline was certainly interesting. It was funny seeing their reactions to just everything going on with Blitzø.

And speaking of Blitzø. Um fuck?! My heart that hurt!? "I think so highly of you. I didn't realize you think so little of me" like OUCH? I keep adding question marks to my sentences because my brain can't quite comprehend how it's feeling.

I find it really interesting that Blitzø brought up Stolas's imp butlers. This is a part that has stuck out with me really strongly. Cuz we've seen Stolas squeeze the shit outta one of them when angry on the phone with Stella. And it really makes me wonder just what kind of behavior has Blitzø exactly seen of Stolas interacting with his butlers. Because Stolas is a very rich man, who has only imps working for him and Blitzø noticed.

Which is funny because he notices literally nothing happening around him this whole episode. Which feels thematically relevant. He's always been oblivious to the more emotional side of Stolas's affection for him but that is also by design of how Stolas treats him. Remember Stolas is the same guy who used to get routinely bleeped due to his sheer level of hornyness. Blitzø has only ever seen their relationship through a sexual lens.

I also find it very interesting that he goes into that interaction already extremely worried and insecure and scared out of his mind that Stolas is tired of him. Which makes going in and being confronted with Stolas's emotions even more jarring and confusing for him. He's already coming in with an intense amount of anxiety with the singular goal of pleasing Stolas, which just highlights the unhealthyness of their dynamic that Stolas is trying to break away from.

Moving on to Stolas's mind for a bit. It has got to fucking hurt that when you finally put yourself out there emotionally and the other person immediately thinks you must be fucking with them. I think it really opened his eyes to how their relationship has truly been when Blitzø assumes that this serious conversation must just be some really weird roleplaying scenario.

And when Blitzø yells at him and reveals that he thinks of him as this rich pampered jerk, it is a startling difference of perception between the two of them that Stolas now has to contend with. It is so interesting to me how Stolas in this scenario is trying really hard to think about things from Blitzø's point of view in terms of how their deal must be affecting him, but he's also not prepared or emotionally equipped to think about how that must shape how Blitzø sees him as a person.

So overall that just leaves us with a lot of pain, and anguish, and a really beautiful episode.

And wow...that hurt.

[anglophile-rin]

If it pleases the court (TUA fandom), I would like to present evidence in the case of: Luther becomes a stripper in season four.

Exhibit A was innocuous in and of itself. Filming was locked down tight, as we are all painfully aware (God, please Steve, a crumb, we're starving), but I did have a few nights of fevered stalking and came across this casting call:

Okay, cool. Could be anything. Interesting, but nothing telling.

Then came the Exhibit B: the promo photos! And, of course, their accompanying emojis:

We all seemed to agree that these emojis were season tidbits. Luther season one: The moon, baby. Season two: bare knuckle brawling under the name King Kong. Season three: married. Season four:....uh? Disco era?

No, no, my dearest of friends. I suggest that dancing is less Boogie Nights and much more Thunder Down Under.

Finally, Exhibit C: the teaser trailer, really solidified it for me.

First, we have the spacesuit, which is likely supposed to make us think he's literally going back into space. But behold! That helmet has no actual glass:

Not ideal in the unforgiving vacuum of space.

Seeing this, I was sure Luther was gracing us with at least one tearaway this season. My only hope was that they would call him Space Boy.

And lo and behold:

God bless us, every one.

So, there you have it. I submit to the court that Number One "Luther" Hargreeves has fully and joyfully embraced his new bod. And for a $20 lap dance, so can you.

Bonus! The himbo twins look like they're going undercover together and Diego ends up shirtless, wearing only cuffs:

Which, of course, brings to mind Exhibit A: casting call for a Chippendale-type. Kinda like:

Diego: I don't have a suit.

Luther: I gotchu.

UPDATE:

Two more pieces of evidence have emerged! The first is innocuous:

A little tongue in cheek, but it definitely fits. Could be affirmation bias, but hey, what couldn't?

And then, the doozy. My smoking gun. Exhibit XXX, from the new posters releases today (26 Jun 24):

GET THOSE ONES, LUTHER!

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

random notes on naddpod c1 ep 70-100

part three of the list of personal highlighs, shared here in lieu of chewing my very indifferent friends’ ears off irl. For whom it may concern.

spoiler warning! you will get no context but still, massive massive spoilers ahead

That moment where Hardwon almost came back as a gnome tho, right after Murph explains how he left that option in as a joke

The wrestling! Jake and Emily rolling the exact same three times in a row!

so much good parents content in this episode! Also Melora is back, I adore her. The concept of an anti-authoritarian deity is so funny. “No don't listen to me! But do. But don't!”

I’m with Emily, Murph doing Elvish is the actual worst thing to ever happen

“I’ve hit a bit of a rough patch in my relationship but that’s okay because I found a book that lets me kill my dad.” “Everything’s coming up Beverly!”

“You can’t tell us your character’s name, Zac, because they haven’t met you yet.” “And they never will!” “Yeah, I kept telling you they’re not going to the Frigid North but you wouldn’t listen.” “I keep heading north.” “I keep telling you, they’re south, they’re so far south -”

Zac’s characters gaslighting an NPC is always funny. *badly tells a bold-faced lie* “Why would I lie about that?”

“Unsheep him immediately!”

Ren’s laughter is INFURIATING

“Yeah, he lost both contacts. Both contacts just shot out of his eyes when he was giving the speech earlier.”

I cannot for the life of me figure out if any of them are actually good singers or not

Pursuit of Dragon Eggs

Zac “unofficial King of the One-liner” Oyama at it again with the perfect character intro: “Mavrus the Unschooled who… forgot this assignment”

Genuinely I just want to be as effortlessly funny as Zac for a single day. Just to know what it’s like to live like that.

Finally a realistic magical tournament - now with bathroom breaks!

-

Mawmaw is back! I love her so much

Lucanis doting on his newfound daughter is so sweet

“We shall meet at dawn!” “That’s so early, can we do like nine?”

Murph doing out of touch aristocrats (the “SilvONE percent”, Caldwell is on FIRE) is GOLDEN. “Ren, keep working on yourself.” “I won’t.”

The Boobs getting Balnor a mechanical tuna that sings Chasing Cars

Also this might be the first time I’ve seen the DM carrying on a bit for so long it actively stalls the plot, and I loved every dumb second of it

Murph trying to introduce Cooter’s new high eleven girlfriend, fucking up and calling her his wife instead, and having to take that in stride

“Nice cape, my champion.” “Oh, do you like it? I got it expressly to impress you.” HARDWON

“It’s fourteen platinum. I know you have many slides to build.” “Yes, this will go a long way to build the parliamentary water park.”

-

Progressively useless shop links

The bit about them trying to get Murph to give up the cliffhanger while on tour is so funny because a) the idea that Jake would be the one to go looking for Murph’s notes while Emily and Caldwell keep him busy when they are literally IN EMILY’S ROOM and b) that he’d somehow have to try to break in when it is LITERALLY ALSO EMILY’S ROOM

Caldwell calling Murph “Daddy Murphy”, “Daddy DM” and “Teacher” in quick succession while trying to get away with some Classic Beverly Bullshit absolutely sent me

“I’m just gonna keep stabbing at the slit… and think nothing of the implications.” “Thanks, I hate it.” Well so do I, Murph, but you’re the one who gave this group an environment with a slit in it that people can push a sword through so. should have seen that coming a mile off

Of course I’d reach the extremely horny part of this episode while I’m standing in line at the supermarket 🙈

I was starting to think that maybe Murph had finally shaken his dice curse, but then he’s rolling for that fight at the casino with the bullywog and the enchanted sword and I think it’s been going on for like five rounds and neither of them has hit the other

“We should play this for real money.” “Have you seen my husband roll dice?!”

“You killed my beautiful boy!” “Mrs. Rosell?” “No, it’s Ilsed! Context clues, everyone!”

“Poetry or whatever the next level of hell is”

Hardwon’s flashback 😔

BABY PAWPAW

“Moonshine, there’s something about you. Things that don’t belong just… find a way of belonging when you’re around.” is such a knockout of a line. It’s so sweet, it almost made me cry.

Followed directly by “Pawpaw shits into your bib,” of course

“Fungus can’t eat plot armour, right?”

CALDWELL. Hot damn the man is too good at this.

“You killed me, Murphy!” “I have to take a bath! I need to go on a long walk! You ruined my night, Brian!”

“This is the hardest work it would be to bully anyone.” “I wrote a tragic backstory for you, loser!”

Running all three one on one encounters as one encounter is such a good move

“Hey what’s up with your hammer?” “The hammer’s gotten bigger, I have NOT gotten smaller!”

“How far were you from the edge, Moonshine?” “Forty feet. […] You gonna take me to the edge, Hardwon?” “I’ll do my best to get you over the edge, Moonshine.” “…what would you do if you were having sex and they were like, I’m forty feet away?” “I’d be like whoa, that’s pretty far.” “But I can get there with a full dash!” And then nobody, DM included, manages to get through a single sentence including the word edge for the next couple of minutes…

Murph’s gleeful “you guys are pissed at me”

“Hardwon, make out with him!” “I’m recording it on my recording orb.” “…who is this for?”

“I’m a falcon. Can I lift Bev up?” “Absolutely not!” “I’m gonna try anyway.” “You are like Link holding up a chicken. Just running with a flapping bird in one hand.”

Not Murph opening the Ilsed flashback with a full minute on cyclical aesthetic trends in architecture?

“Please don’t be hot, please don’t be hot…” “… a young, hot Ilsed -“ “No!!!” Same Bev. Same.

“You wanted to be special, and you are! It’s rare to find someone stupid enough to make a deal with me but with enough potential that I could still do something good with your body, we’ll done.” That’s brutal

Murph slowly losing his mind as his players debate whether hell is really all bad (“the first layer is like super rad”) and what the purpose of hell is “the purpose is for bad people to torture other bad people and it’s bad and it sucks and it’s hell??”

-

I too am weak for a loyal knight and I melt into a puddle every time Jake and Murph run through their Hardwon and Mawmaw routine

Also this seems as good a time as any to give a round of applause for the “dwarphanage” and “dwarphan” puns. It’s so funny it just never gets old

so amused by how both Jake and Caldwell have called Murph Brian to signal anger

41 to hit?? Is that even a thing?

“Well, my cat was sick and I’m feeling spicy”

“This is an insane dynamic for a twenty-five-year-old to be in the middle of.”

Cooter the Berry Boy

“…did you just quote Lin-Manuel Miranda? […] You shoot this beam of red hot light and it hits this thing and it begins to melt away as you give an insane speech that you took from someone who does not exist in this world.”

Jake’s quiet sob of “that’s plagiarism” in the background

“Yes, my name is ‘Luke Earthier’.” 😬

Murph giving his elves super ridiculous names but then hating when the PCs make fun of them is so funny. He fully played himself

But it’s also very sweet how he will just fully accept their dumb nicknames. Lucanus is Daddy Luke now. Pendergreens hasn’t been called by his actual name for weeks.

Zac, who obviously came in without a prepared intro, trying to come up with a two-liner on the fly and somehow deciding the word he’ll be trying to rhyme with is “Juiblex”

“The thing is, Zac, I wrote sketch with you for like a year, and -“ “We know you’re smart. Is the disappointing thing.”

Random flashforward to Apple and Cooter, lone survivors of the apocalypse, in a Denny’s in Shadowfell

“Trees are beautiful and cool, that’s one of the first things you learn as a Green Teen!” “He’s right! Trees are cool and you suck!”

“You get non-lethally Boromir’d”

absolute cruelest answer to whether the NPC was deceived by a 13 deception check: “Hey, man. Maybe.”

Emily forcing ridiculous world building on her DM, truly The Axford Move: “Take that hat off and debate me!” “Alright, you take that vest off!” “…do I have a vest on?”

*threatening reer* is an underrated Pawpaw noise

That cliffhanger at the end of Ep. 88 and the outrage

“We’re all gonna jump you after this!” “There’s so many of us here, man!” “We’re gonna box your ass, we’re gonna mail it to… to Spain!”

“You can listen to people threatening to put my ass in a box on the Short Rest -” “Hey, no. I’m only gonna celebrate your ass.”

“Murph. My hat has telekinesis, right?” “Yeah?” “Can I use my telekinesis to control the sphere that we just received from Akarot?” “…Yeah.” “Okay, sweet, I’m going to fling this Sphere of Chomping Shit Up with my telekinesis.” Murph, apparently remembering in this very moment he’s DMing for Emily “I disguise myself as him” Axford: “Oh no.”

Bev and Erlin pull a full “here at the end of all things”

Jeez this episode is just the Emily and Murph drama hour. She’s leaving her possum! I am upset!!

Cobb’s “would this be a bad time to invite you to my improv show” was perfectly timed

“I assume the horse of Famine is stalking me, so I put out a plate of food for it every night. To be hospitable.” EMILY!!!

“It’s this vendetta that this horse has for me.” “...do you think maybe the rider also has something to do with it?” (this in reference to the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse)

I love how Murph is making progressively scarier villains and the boobs just flatly refuse to take them even a little seriously

“Everybody wake the fuck up, Death is here! Like actual fucking Death?!” is almost as funny as Bev’s “Rise and shine, we’re in the shit again!” from the Galaderon arc

“The horses we ride were all killed by you!” 10/10 callback, no notes

“The end is nigh! Bird for sale! The end is nigh!”

Jake asks Murph to rate everyone based on looks, immediately regrets it when Murph ranks him fourth, after himself

Emily plugging the podcast itself on its 96th episode

Them workshopping Caldwell’s intro rhyme on air for several minutes, then finally getting the recap started only for Emily to interrupt Murph after half a sentence to point out he “says ‘dragon’ cute”

I’m still not over the shock that the “what an honour. what an injustice.” quote is from this podcast. Damn. (Also I somehow really expected that to be a Caldwell line.)

“You must understand, I’m under a tremendous amount of pressure, I can’t tell when people are joking.” Oh the line between Murph and Melora is growing thin

“You see yourself outsmarting Josh and turning his entire army against him, you turning Akarot’s steed into a dolphin, outing Balnor as the witch in the Autumn Court trials... Just a supercut of Murph whomps.”

“Hey man, I know I haven’t said this in a while, but fuck you!”

Hardwon fighting Jaina, Mawmaw and Old Cobb but barely fighting back is just plain tragic

“Peepaw, is this another lesson? Is this a lesson I’m not understanding the meaning of?” “Moonshine, this is because I’m disappointed in you!” Murph is taking no prisoners this ep, noted.

“It’s good. I think you’re good. You’re smart, you’re a great storyteller, and you’re mean! You’re a bad guy.” I love that this is both a joke and the greatest praise a writer can receive

“That is the wraith on the red horse’s turn. He is a dolphin. The dolphin on the bigger dolphin flops. In Hell.” again, NO respect for Murph’s apocalyptic riders

a brief and nearly incomprehensible aside about Meatloaf songs (whose political views WERE problematic but whose songs 100 percent occupy the exact aesthetic of this batshit insane scene)

Murph picked the worst Meatloaf song tbh

honestly my main gripe with Pendergreens is I cannot fucking understand him and that hurts my pride. please this is my second language

.

i love how religiously Emily is keeping Deadeye’s memory alive throughout this, it’s so sweet

Moonshine and Meemaw on the grandma tree </3

“I didn’t have you until I was 350 years old. By that time, I had already lost Marabelle. And here, now I got you. Now I got another sister.” this whole conversation is so perfect, but I really really love this part, it’s so lovely to acknowledge how your relationship to your parents can evolve over a lifetime (especially one as long as this)

Emily’s delight at finding the critter refugee colony in the grandma tree is so pure

Murph bringing back Caldwell’s worst Green Teen creation as a wholesome jamboreen campfire memory

and one last Cawcaw sighting

what is it with the entire d20 cast and fem characters with that half-shaved/undercut hairstyle. legit every time they want to make a fem character particularly cool they give them that haircut

not Murph trying to sus out Hardwon’s deal with Moonshine once and for all in the penultimate episode by any means necessary

“’I’ll just... get another brewsky, and then I’ll meet you... behind the tree in... t -5.’ And then Hardwon does a weird moonwalk away.”

Bev goofs one last time and once again falls from a great height

I want Denny’s “whelp, I’m alive!” as a soundbite

“What are the others up to? Are they in danger?” “... how old are you?” “Sixteen!” “.....they’re hangin’ out.”

"Can we say that what I did to Jaina was a sort of religious experience and counts as a zealous trance” is definitely one of the funniest things Murph has let Emily get away with

“Congratulations, y’all. You fucked in DnD”

.

Jake almost crying in his (presumably) last intro as Hardwon

Murph laying it on unexpectedly thick and Emily struggling to follow that up with the very silly intro she prepared

“One hour [of going down on someone] isn’t taking your time??”

One last Somber Boy Song! and what a song it was, damn, Caldwell!

“He has such a haunting boy voice! It feels like he’s just alone in an abandoned church.”

“No, I don’t intend to join you [in your fight against a god], mylady. You are a demigod. I am a butler.”

“Do you guys think the Gods were scared when people looked to them?” “If they weren’t, they weren’t doing it right.”

“Here’s what I’d like to do, Murph: I would like to blow the Horn of Valhalla, bring out these berserkers, and then I would like to, on the thinking cap, cast Conjure Woodland Creatures and conjure eight pixies, and I’d like to put four of them in the Bag of Holding and use four of them to cast Fly on four of the berserkers which then I will cast Animal Shapes on, using my own concentration, to turn them into elephants, and we can go into battle on flying elephants. .... Just let me know if you want to leave me.” I have found my new favourite Emily moment. Jesus Christ. Her getting through that wild plan so businesslike and then “just let me know if you want to leave me” in that defeated tone took me OUT

underrated reason to bring back an old enemy for the finale: he’s the most annoying and everyone hates his guts

“Hardwon, you take a sick 69 psychic damage”

“The actual God looks hurt. She’s upset, I’m upset. But don’t worry, everyone, it is my turn.”

“That brings me down the same way my old man went down.” aka Jake sends the DM into an emotional crisis with a single sentence.

“You briefly fix his deviated septum.” now that’s just cruel

Handy Andy playing a vital role in the final fight makes me so happy, Deadeye helped! Posthumously!

“Hardwon, you struggle, but you get through the words… Table… of… Contents” cause of death: this

“Your god is a pro wrestler” OH MY GOD OF COURSE HE IS. Emily cracked it

“It’s okay, Balnor. Like all the most powerful things in the world, I knew I was only borrowing you.”

Hardwon coming into Shadowfell with unimaginable amounts of dirty laundry: “Moooooooom!”

Hardwon meets his dad :(

Murph really has the “emotionally repressed Dad” routine down pat

“Thank you so much, I sent [the Thinking Cap] through the dry cleaner’s, so it should be all good.” “Dijuana was killed by the dry cleaners.” “You were not supposed to get it wet.” “Yeah, something screamed in there they said, I don’t know.”

Another Jamboreen! And it’s about to probably get cancelled again with another Pebblepot in charge! Time is flat circle

“You see Cran grabs the counsellor, ‘Are you a Pebblepot? You have to tell me if you’re a Pebblepot!!’“

“I cast Conjure Animals and create... what would a dragon eat?” “It would for sure eat like a sheep?” “Oh no, that feels so cruel!” “But you’re creating it, it’s like... it’s a Beyond burger. Beyond Sheep.”

Of course Moonshine accidentally created a Crick dragon

Hardwon gets a fixer-upper in the Crick

I cannot believe Murph managed to pay off that horrendous hotel room scene, and how! Incredible. No notes.

-

This doesn’t strictly go here but if you go on IMDb, everyone but Zac is officially credited with their silly homebrew DM titles. Like Murph is credited as “Direct Messenger (Dungeon Master)”. I discovered this on a very stressful day and it delighted me to no end.

[nmoroder]

"Time goes by and I remain motionless"

ohhhh..h. having hokma feelings. yea also experimenting with drawing lines over the same color layer. fun thing

[dasloddl]

get along girls, you share a birthday now

edit, April 23rd: made this on march 10th and now they changed the release date, the lore implications of the may 17 date made so much sense :/// that won’t stop me from posting this because I thought it was really funny

edit, May 7th: so there's listening events now starting on the 18th? make it make sense boys, you could've just released it on the 17th for everyone

clancy will still have this as an honorary birthday in my heart

[bohemianblasphemy]

the cable knit ???? his beard ????

antony’s death metal shirt ?????

i’m so feral

[egophiliac]

I feel like F/P/S was still a pretty weird one, even by Lance's standards.

sorry for (in an ironic twist) not doing much Ride Kamens art now that it's actually started; I've been pretty slow going through it and I feel weird posting about things I'm not caught up on! though I'm. definitely gonna have to set aside some time to actually get through episode 13, after what they posted today. (w-what did they do to my Leon) (NOBODY TELL ME I HAVE TO FIND OUT ON MY OWN) (LEOOOOOOOON)