#boy being born at the end of the 'fuck around' period

[n3ptun3e]

—SUNSHINE BOY!

shisui uchiha x reader + headcanons

how shisui would eventually fall in love with you!

notes: listen, i’m no writer and my english is kind of shit, but desperate times call for desperate measures and i’m starving for cute shisui content with no inc3st in it, so this was born!! please enjoy it!

honestly? i just did this because it’s too fun to decorate the posts

You two became friends in the short period he was in the academy speed running through classes. He was pretty popular just like any other clan kid with the prodigy title, and since the whole “ostracize the uchiha clan” didn’t happen yet, at least not as obvious as it was in the series, the both of you would train or just spend lunch together, probably invites you to his house. Training in a secluded part of the forest and having deep talks would be one of his favorite activities to do with you. He loves loves to delve into the depths of other people’s minds and try to figure them out, what makes you act this way, your thought process, how does your mind works? he wants to know this because he wants to know the real you, to understand the puzzle that you are, it’s his way to show that he cares, otherwise he wouldn’t keep you as close as you are. He probably doesn’t even realize his thoughts are way more…technical? for scientific purposes only☝🏻 than your average person, because he’s a prodigy and all that, so he can come off as a little bit blunt (though as he grows up he’s much more suave and smooth when sharing his thoughts. Clan meetings and political bullshit does that to someone) but he has the bestest intentions in mind being the altruist that he is. He’s a curious and smart boy!!!

Either way, he likes to spend time with you, you saw the real him, not shisui the prodigy, shunshin no shisui, or the “weird and show off guy”, but him. If he had any other friends besides you, they would be gone once the kyuubi attack happens. Konoha doesn’t have the best education, so the kids would just follow what their parents told them and some adults already didn’t like him, so there really wasn’t anyone else around. It’s around this time that he met Itachi, seeing a glimpse of him and his long dead friend on the child, he decides to take him under his wing.

I’m not sure if it’s canon, but it’s stated in some places that he unlocked his mangekyõ because of his teammate, his friend that was more powerful than him, shisui was envious, jealous even. one day on a mission his friend got hurt and needed assistance, but shisui as team captain decided to follow through with the mission and his friend ended up dying. and THAT’S the crucial moment where he’s going to need someone the most. He’s a uchiha, they have big hearts and just feel more, much more than your average person, the blame crushes him, he’s already a gentle soul who is forced to kill others for his own village, and to make matters worse they are in war times, you saw how obito and naruto turned out very different because of it right? that, plus the start of the apparent hate and suspicion of the village towards his clan, makes way for rumors, “he’s an Uchiha, what else would we expect from him…? you should be careful, they are not to be trusted”. I imagine his clan would push and pressure him to become more powerful, to “Bring pride into the clan” moving him up in the ranks, making him enter anbu as a child even if he’s already a jõnin.

He just breaks, childish glint in his eyes gone, so he comes to you, “i didn’t know where else to go…” he breaks down in your arms, silent tears falling from his eyes as he clings onto you, his grip tight as if you would disappear at any moment, his only friend that didn’t left him. All the tension and adrenaline from battle would eventually leave his body as he relaxes, letting out all his frustrations away, feeling so fucking tired, body getting out of survival mode, his thoughts and feelings finally getting to him, you hug him tight and strokes his unruly dark curls, soothing hand on his back and whispering calming and reassuring words in his ear, his tears in your shirt slowly turn red, and when you pull away to dry his tears you gasp as you see the intricate pattern on his bleeding red eyes.

THAT’S when you two become even more close. Shisui was always caring and protective of you, but now as you two have grown up he gets even worse, always having a hand on you, arm around your shoulder as he teases you, giving you a little wink before flicking off existence. god, when he finally perfects the body flicker he becomes a menace, appearing out of nowhere inches away from your face, blowing out a puff of air into the back of your neck as you almost rips him in half thinking it was a enemy ninja, cheeks burning red. Though it’s undeniable how your heart beats quicker and smile warms up as he leaves, he’s always there to cheer you up and support you, he’s loyal okay? you have been there for him and now he’s going to follow you for the rest of your life, you feel like safety to him, a light in the dark, he trusts you with his life. he would never EVER left you behind (only if you asked him to, but duh why would you dummy), especially on missions, he will bring you back alive even if he has to sacrifice himself for it.

i know it’s obvious but PHYSICAL TOUCH!!!! it’s his way of communicating affection alright? hugging, ruffling your hair after training, THE UCHIHA POKE, you name it, he especially likes to put a arm around your shoulders and lean close to you, teasing you about whatsoever, whispering in your ear about the random guy on your right hitting on the lady next to him, chuckling and laughing to yourselves, you don’t even notice when he has a hand around you anymore because it just feels natural at this point, it gives him a excuse to be so close to you. Also looves to spend time with you, it’s kind of hard since the both are you are busy with missions but he would always use shunshin to see you, especially during breaks on the uchiha military police forces, asking you to have lunch with him, his treat! he’s a gentleman okay? Sometimes he would appear and gently put a kanzashi 簪 (hair ornaments used in traditional Japanese hairstyles) in your hair, saying it reminded him of the color of your eyes, he would always do that, giving you thoughtful gifts he would find along his missions, smiling at you as he says “i knew it would suit you” it means you look pretty in it.

His touch starts to linger more than necessary, appearing out of nowhere always with a warm hand on you. God he always runs so hot? maybe it’s because he’s a uchiha but his body temperature is high. Shuffling closer to him when you both go on a mission in the middle of winter, a teasing smile on his face as he asks “what was that?” a eyebrow raised in amusement, though he quickly chuckles and opens his arms, hugging you close, making jokes so you don’t feel awkward. He’s just so gentle and soft with you, stroking your hair as you both fall asleep. Always blushing if you reciprocate his barely hidden affections. He’s shy on these matters okay? i imagine him being just like minato but with the determination and sense of humor of naruto. so he can be all serious and in mission mode but if you pass him by and gives him a smile he’s all smiley and red cheeks, sheepishly expression on his face with a hand scratching the back of his head, snsksuzysowb cute. Sometimes he would look at Itachi and Sasuke interacting, imagining how it would be like if one day he ends up building a family with you, it’s one of his favorite daydreams jakajansja definitely a family guy. Yearning for the feeling of coming back home after a long mission and sink into your arms, sighing as he feels how soft, warm and alive you feel, he would do anything to keep you that way, even if he’s not the one you love, being able to be by your side is enough, at least that’s what he tells himself.

It would take a while for a confession tbh, he doesn’t want to lose you or ruin the friendship you both have, would probably talk about it with Itachi, sighing and telling him for the hundredth time if he should tell you or not. itachi’s already tired from this bullshit, staring at his cousin with a deadpan expression “i do believe it would be for the best if you finally told her how you feel” he would repeat, for the millionth time.

I doubt he would like or even look at somebody else in the same way he looks at you, he’s a uchiha and they feel deep, so when he falls, he falls hard, he’s a racional, loyal and busy guy, he wouldn’t even have time for romance outside of his barely there free time that he spends with you >:) so i really don’t think he’s the type to get with someone just because of their appearance or frivolous things like that, he needs the connection, heart, love and trust, so it takes time.

HE’S A JELLY GUY, not overly so, and would never seriously harm someone because of it, BUT HE IS he may not look like it, but if he sees a guy getting too close to comfort with you he’ll pop out of nowhere between you and the man, hugging you from the back and talking with the both of you, hands stroking your sides gently, or just pulling his arm around your shoulders, acting all friendly. You probably don’t even notice he’s actually jealous because he’s too smooth about it (and because you are trying to hide your blush from him).

By the way, you and itachi are friends! he’s a cute kiddo that follows shisui around, and he also has a little shadow following him (lil sasuke) it’s the cutest thing to see Shisui waving at you with a big grin on his face, eyes crinkling with happiness, a little shadow behind him, and a even more tiny figure following behind just like little ducks following their mother lolol.

Eventually shisui would have the guts to finally tell you how he feels, but only after a long while, probably when the whole uchiha fiasco ends (AND IT ENDS WITH EVERYBODY ALIVE) he would be so relieved and happy that his family and the village now are all safe and in peace that he would decide to finally take a step forward and be honest with you, he’d plan everything too, choosing your favorite place and all kinds of things that make you smile awww it would be perfect. You would blush, having at least a suspicion with the way he acts around you, not being able to contain your smile, putting your hands on his cheeks, gently caressing them, his ridiculously long eyelashes brushing against your thumbs as his eyes flutter at your touch, his own cheeks red. When you say “i love you” back, he would be so happy and excited he wouldn’t stop grinning, cheeks almost hurting from how happy he felt, taking you by the waist and spinning you around, the both of you laughing as he does so, just like when you were children, it feels like being home. Time seems to stop as you two gaze at each other, him staring at you with the softest eyes, carefully putting you down on the ground, running his fingers through your hair and saying one more time, “i love you” before his hand travels to your jaw, caressing and tracing the skin there, slowly inching his face closer until you feel his warm breath on your face, brushing his lips lightly against yours, leaving you breathless, fluttering your eyes close, he presses his lips harder against yours as you don’t pull away, sighing and pulling you impossibly close, one hand on your waist softly stroking your skin, the other on the back of your neck, playing with your hair as he finally gets to taste the lips of the girl he longed for all those years.

notes: oh wow that took much longer than i thought it would? what the hell i started to write this at night and now it’s MORNING ughhh i hope you guys like it, we need to keep the shisui simps people alive! happy new years for all of you!

reviews, likes and reblogs are much appreciated! thank you very much!

[futuremrscameron]

kook!jj

content warnings: drug use, mommy issues, sexual harassment, gun violence, classism, underage drinking, attempted murder, neglectful parents, light misogyny, jj being a jerk, manipulative behavior, jokes about incest, arguably cruel jj

born jackson junior genrette, after larissa’s father and called junior by chandler

really close to his mom because chandler often goes on “business trips” for long periods of time. hates being called a mama’s boy but knows it’s true not so deep down.

hates when chandler tries to buy his love but will use his deep pockets to his advantage (buying a new bike, weed, coke, etc.,)

acts out in school to get his father’s attention only to end up dropping out his junior year much to his mother’s chagrin. his feelings for chandler reach an all time low when he discovers that he’s not even his real father.

besties/rivals with rafe. they are the same yet so different, you see one the other is not far behind, just terrorizing pogues and taking secret sips from their flask to make it through stuffy events

kook!jj still has the peacekeeper™️. he found it (read: stole it from a pogue after he finished beating the shit out of him for threatening him with it) in the cut. he almost never uses it. almost. he whips it out from time to time to scare impress girls and show off to guys. he still practices on teddy bears but it’s actually used, the first time it’s used is by rafe at the tarmac. jj is so pissed he implicated him in the murder of the sheriff but helps him “take care of it”. rafe knows nothing jj does is out of the kindness of his heart, he scratched his back so he’ll scratch his

does coke instead of weed (he tried shrooms and molly once but after the incident™️ never again). rafe got adderrall from barry during his short stint at college and let jj try it. jj thought it didn’t work until he found himself applying for his ged and ordering the catering his mom asked him to order a week ago

a biker instead of a surfer. while canon!jj balances both worlds, kook!jj prefers to feel the wind in his hair while on the ground. he loves his baby, treats her better than actual women, and does not let anyone touch her. she’s a gift from his mother so he takes extra good care of her

throws the wildest parties, sometimes with rafe sometimes solo. if cops break up his party cause of a noise complaint, he pays them off (if it’s not shoupe) or runs

kook!jj and rafe allegedly share girls (and some boys). it’s not as likely as the rumors say though since they have different types

speaking of girls, kook!jj is a total creep to girls. at parties, he scans the crowd for his prey and descends like a hawk, following them around the whole time, playing up his harmless goofy persona, dragging them into drinking games so she can “loosen up”, offering to drive her home (if she came with friends, it’s a 50/50 chance they’ll let him take their girl home)

jj tends to gravitate towards pogue girls and says they’re “less trouble” than kook girls. he can do whatever he wants without having to worry about the girls running their mouths about it because they know they should be thanking him for even entertaining them

jj does not hate pogues as much as rafe; yeah, he thinks he's better than them, but he doesn't hate them. he will join in on whatever harassment bordering on crime rafe pulls, but only under two circumstances; if the act is interesting enough, he'll do it. if he's bored, he might do it

kook!jj has a morbid sense of humor, the type that makes people question if he’s joking or confessing a crime. it’s not edgelord shit and it doesn’t have the cadence of a joke; it’s just him saying something with a straight face and laughing at everyone’s reaction. he’s met with awkward chuckles, sighs of relief, and shoulder shoves, but they still don’t know if he was just fucking with them or sharing his dark thoughts

loves messing with rafe, though if you were to ask him, he would deny it. truthfully, he hates when rafe acts like the perfect kook king, it grinds his gears cause he knows that's not who he is and thinks he's shit at pretending to be that guy, especially in front of parents and some tourons (it's also a bonus that he gets to see him crash out)

a bunch of the boys are gathered around a mini bonfire well after the party's ended. jj suggested the game 'smash or pass' for seemingly no reason, but rafe knows better. nothing jj does is innocent or an afterthought.

jj takes a swig from their shared flask and passes it back to some guy he's already forgotten the name of. he claps, “okay, my turn, smash or pass… sarah.”

“dude what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“what? i’m just playing the game. plus i’m sure rafe’s dying to know which one of his friends wants to fuck his sister. isn’t that right raf-”

he’s sucker punched.

“jesus!” “fuck man!”

“fuck you jj.” he stomps off, ignoring topper’s calls for him to come back.

some guys he recognizes from his gym class help him up. he wipes the dirt off his legs, pushes his hair back, and grins.

“well that’s his answer. how ‘bout you fellas?”

does not get along with topper at all, thinks he’s slimy and pathetic. it’s why he loves to riling him up, whether it be flirting with sarah or calling him a punk ass bitch to his face

kook!jj is in a situationship (if you can even call it that) with figure eight’s resident outcast, weird girl!kook. they officially meet at midsummers; he snuck away to smoke and saw her smoking in his spot while sketching. he tried his usual technique on her, but she was very uninterested and didn't even try to keep the conversation flowing. he called her a 'bitch' and she laughed, he asked what she was sketching; she showed him a disturbingly accurate drawing of him no more than a couple minutes ago and the rest is history

kook!jj reacts better to the news of chandler not being his father than jj does to the news of luke not being his father. part of him always knew that chandler was too different, too cold, to be his father; he's more shocked that his mother had the balls to cheat on him

jj tries to kill chandler after finding out he tried to kill his mother when she found out she was pregnant with him

chandler tried to talk his way out of it, but jj was not having it; he knew who his father was—a conman, a liar, and a thief. he knew the man was just biding his time before jj got bored of entertaining his final words and pulled the trigger when he dropped the bomb of his true parentage on him. he uses jj's shock make his escape

kook!jj who pogues and kooks alike can agree is an agent of chaos

[luneemeritus]

I was thinking about how I would imagine Husk's life before Hell... taking a lot of canon information as inspiration but still keeping my personal headcanons.

Ok so his name was Henry Oscar. A black-american man. To me, he died with 55 years old. Born in 1920, Los Angeles, and died in 1975. His parents were very neglectful and he had a special problem with his dad, that raised him with the typical abusive and sexist behaviour. Husk (or Henry) was a man, so he needed to be tough and hide all of his feelings, which as very difficult not only because of his human nature but also the world around him. Life was NOT easy for a black man in the 20's America. Still, he managed to be independent since youth and started his life working in casinos. So yes, he developed gambling addiction since he was young, but at first it didn't seem dangerous. He was just a lonely boy engaging in arts and games. Husk was a very talented man that became a great musician, magician and gambler, but he also had the inclination to be selfish and greedy due to how he was raised.

I also love to imagine him having a family. Meeting some girl in LA, marrying her and having a kid — a precious and beautiful little girl that he loved deeply. But the gambling, that was first one of his many talents and ways to have fun, was becoming a worse and worse addiction. He started to lose money, SO MUCH money, and damaged his family's financial stability. He also engaged with cheating and dangerous activities with not-so-good people. Loan sharks, mobsters, and criminals in general. He frequently engaged in violent fights with dangerous people, ending up either in jail for some days/weeks, or being chased and coerced by them — literally bringing danger to his family.

One day, obviously, his wife had enough. She was tired of loosing financial stability, having hers and her daughter's safety threatened by her husband's reckless behaviour. She also believed Husk was supposed to be strong and perfect all the time — typical-period sexism —, which led her to ask a divorce. The divorce process was painful to Husk; he truly loved his family, so much, but he knew it was his fault. Worse, his ex-wife did her best to keep him away from their daughter, because he was a lost cause in her eyes, and it didn't take too long for her to get married with another man. Husk was abandoned, replaced and pushed away from his daughter. And it was all his fault... his mental health only got worse and worse.

Now he was alone again. He saw no other choice but to continue that life style, now the alcohol took a great part of his routine and became a new addiction. His life was attached to the casinos, his only way of earning the minimal gain to pay his bills. So he fucked around — with women AND men — and gambled more and more, now that he had only himself to care about. His life wasn't entirely terrible, he traveled a lot because of the money he earned, but still, he missed his family. A lot. He couldn't see his precious daughter again, and yeah he did try to meet other people and love again... but it always failed. Everyone thought he was too damaged, too broken to be loved. A waste of time, always unsafe and unworthy. He couldn't get proper mental health treatment nor get over his addictions, so he started to believe that, indeed, it was all true, he was unworthy.

All of this destroyed Husk completely. But specially, his guilt. The guilt of what his reckless behaviour did to his family, the guilt of never being able to let go of his addictions, let go of his past... guilt of never being able to be a good partner for anyone. He thought it was all his fault, and that his fate was to be alone. Unfortunately, in 1973, he discovered he had cirrhosis. He didn't have money enough to pay the treatment. Then, Husk decided to just... give up. Give up of trying to be better, trying to be something he isn't, trying to have a normal and peaceful life. He went to a small hospital in LA and stayed there for the next two years, when he died. Alone and forgotten. No one ever cared to visit him, and he was burried as indigent because no one identified his body.

Now some other details about my headcanon: Husk/Henry was surprisingly open minded. He was basically raised in casinos, he met a lot of sex workers and queer, gender-non-confirming people. It didn't take him too long to realize he was queer himself, and to be fair, he was actually fine with that (as long as, you know, it was in secret because it WAS extremely dangerous to be openly queer at that time). Also, I've seen a lot of people commenting the fact that Husk hated cats when he was alive... and I really want to know if this is canon or not. Because I genuinely don't know, either way I don't headcanon him as hating cats.

Husk kinda made friends during his lifetime, but they were only interested in him when he had money. He was often earning a lot of money, and loosing all of it in like, one night of gambling. So his life was always unstable. The last he saw his daughter, she was nine years old. The feeling to be replaced as husband AND father was basically what fucked up his mental health the most. The problem of Husk's life was that he would always lose everything, even when he was close to true happiness. He lost his family, lost his mental and physical health, and even his soul. Obviously, someone so used to feel unworthy, to be lonely and not cared for, became a selfish and greedy person as an Overlord who didn't care about the consequences of his actions. He had power, therefore he had everything... until he didn't, until he lost everything again.

The Hotel is a new start for him. Finally, the chance to be that passionate man again, and maybe, even start a new family.

[issdisgrace]

IT'S KINDA A LONG STORY

WARNINGS: None

A/N: This takes place in 2017, character is 28.

“You know you’ve been with us for 6 months and I don’t think you proper told us about how you started hunting.” Sam says, closing his computer. 

“Well, my grandpa was a hunter, so my father became a hunter. Then I decided to continue the family tradition and become a hunter.”

“Cool. How was your childhood? Mine and Sammy’s were fucked, to say the least? Went long periods in hotels. I had to steal food and a bunch of other shit.” Dean says.

“It was a mixed bag. It’s kinda a long story.” I say, sitting up on the bed. 

“We have time.” Sam says.

“Alright, strap in, I guess. As you guys know, I was born in ‘89. My mom got pregnant with me when she was 16 and.

"Had me a month after she turned 17 on my dad’s 17th birthday. My mom came from a very religious family, like super religious, and her getting pregnant with me got her kicked out. My grandma and grandpa let my mom move in. From what I heard, those months were good. My dad was working while trying to finish school while my mom dropped out of school. Mom helped grandma and grandpa with the stuff around the house. When my mom was 8 months and on some odd days with me, she went into labor. She was rushed to the hospital in the town over and had me around 11:45 pm. There were a couple of problems with me since I was premature, but the doctor got everything under control and after a week, I was able to go home. 

Anyway, when I was 2, my mom and dad got married. My first memory was Christmas ‘94. I remember opening a fairy princess set. It was nice at the time, but looking back now, it was very cheaply made. But fast forward to my 8th birthday, 97. I remember we had dinner and my father unwrapped his presents first, being older than I got to open mine. I had got nothing but dresses. I remember I broke out crying then when my mom and dad tried to comfort me I yelled that I didn’t want to be a girl, then ran upstairs and hid in my room. A couple of minutes later, my dad came up and entered my room. He just sat on the bed and talked to me while I was hide telling me that there wasn’t nothing wrong with wanting to be a boy and if I wanted to I could. I crawled out from underneath my bed and sat with him. He held me as I cried and we talked. It started with, is this how you really feel? How long have you been feeling this way? Would it make me happier to be a boy? I told him, It was about 6 when I realized didn’t want to be a girl, that I hated the long hair and dresses, and didn’t like my given name. We talked until it was time for me to go to bed. My dad tucked me in and stayed with me until I feel asleep. I must have been asleep no longer than a half an hour when I was woken up by yelling from downstairs. I could hear my mom yelling at my dad, saying I can’t just be a boy and that it’s just a phase. I remember hearing my dad tell her, so what if it is I have to figure out who I am and who I want to be? I just layed their crying while listening to the yelling and ended up crying myself asleep. 

The next day, things were tense, to say the least that I can remember. My grandma and grandpa talked to me after the very tense breakfast and asked if I wanted to go by something else. At that time, I didn’t know. They suggest names, even pulled out baby name books, and we looked through them. But I didn’t find a name that I liked so they were suggesting different names off the top of their head and I decide on Y/n after my mom’s brother, my uncle who is most definitely the funnest coolest person I have ever known. I remember the first time he came to visit after I came out and by then I had gotten my hair cut and a new wardrobe. I had told him that I was a boy and that my new name was Y/n. He was super chill about the absolute opposite of my mother, despite coming from the same background. And their one out he called me his mini me.

So fast forward to 99 I’m 10. My mom decide to get me nail polish and make up for my birthday. I was first upset, but that black nail polish called me and I painted them. They looked pretty good, and it made me feel masculine. After I was done with my nails and they were tried and I went downstairs to show my grandma and grandpa. They were in the living room and so was my mom. I show them and my mother butted in by asking if I was finally done with this phase and finally being a girl. I was so upset. I just ran out of the house. I ran into the woods and climbed a top of tree. I was close enough to the house that I could hear my grandparents and mother getting into a screaming match. They yelled at her for 30 minutes, then they came out to find me, but I stayed silent while I cried and they didn’t find me. They looked for another half an hour for me before my father came home from his hunt he left on a couple day prior. They rushed to meet him in the driveway and they told my father what had happened. 

And then there comes my mom came out of the house to yell about the whole thing again, saying that she wasn’t going to feed into the delusion and that I needed to start acting like a girl. Shit escalated and my dad yelled that he wanted a divorce and to get the fuck out of the house by morning. Then when things died down, my dad came and found me and I climbed down from the tree and he tried to comfort me. But i just kept crying and eventually I tired myself out and fell asleep. He carried me in and I woke up in my bed the next morning hearing loud crying coming from my mom. She tried to guilt trip and have my dad take her back. But it failed and eventually my uncle arrived and got my mom and her stuff and then she wasn’t in my life. Which in all this my uncle stood beside us, but he did help my mom because of the whole family thing. Anyway, my mom wasn’t completely out of my life. She would leave letters in the mailbox condemning me every couple of weeks.

So then fast forward to when I was 14. I was home alone. When I heard a car pull up. I went downstairs and opened the door and here comes my mom and her boyfriend. I knew something was wrong and quickly closed and locked the door. They started banging on the door and my mom was yelling how she could fix and that I didn’t have to pretend anymore. I called the police and hid in my closet. Listening to the banging. After a couple minutes, I hear two cruisers pull, then a commotion. Then eventually the commotion was over and I heard my name called out by the cop saying it was safe. I realized it was my friends Chris’ dad, John.

I got out of hiding and went downstair and the front door was totaled. It was on the verge of breaking. So I go outside they got my mom and her boyfriend in separate cruiser. John and the other officer, Charlie, made sure I was ok. They got another cop to come out and take my mom from John’s cruiser so John could stay with me. He did, and eventually my dad and grandparents showed up. We pressed charges, they both ended up getting 4 years. And that is the last thing I know about the whereabout of my mom. After that whole situation, my dad and grandpa taught me self defiance, which turned into teaching me how to hunt. 

Then when I was about 18, my grandparents go into a pile up caused by a drunk driver and died. It was really tough around then and I threw myself into my shitty waiter job at the local diner. Made decent money and got good tips. With the saved money, I got myself a car with my dad’s help and started traveling, doing hunts. Stayed in contact with dad through this time and still do. He ended up getting close to John after his wife divorced him and they fell for each other. They got married last year, which I attended their wedding, then I took a break from hunting. Then a couple of months ago I started back up my. band, that’s when I met you guys and here we are.”

“Damn sorry about the whole transphobic mom and grandparents thing.” Sam says.

“Eh, I got over it.”

“Pretty hard stuff to get over,” Dean adds in.

“Yeah, I went to a lot of therapy to get myself to this point.”

“Glad it went well for you. Therapists can be tricky. Some help and some don’t.” Sam said.

“I got paired with a pretty good one. Anyway, don’t mean to switch topics, but how does food sound to you guys because all that talking got me hungry?”

“Yes, I love the way you think.” Dean says.

“There’s a diner just down the road we can go there.” Sam says.

“Sounds good to me.”

[helloitsbees]

lowkey still havent finished road&sky bc im waiting for the stars to align to be in a good mood + have time to appreciate it to the fullest but i wanna thank you for referencing so much great media in it really expanded my horizons

(sorry im getting to this so late slkdjfghlskjd ive been away from my laptop for a few days)

WAAAAAHHH THANK YOU!!! its honestly a tapestry of all the media I adore, it was hard striking a balance between referencing music and media that I myself really love while also staying true to the stuff that Lawrence and especially Adam would actually like, but I think I struck a pretty good balance!!

also because im a fucking nerd, here's some media recommendations that road&sky either references or is inspired by! if there's an asterisk (*) next to the name it's either referenced directly by name in the text of the story or otherwise watched/listened to by the characters

Movies:

let's get the obvious out of the way first– Carol (2015, dir. Todd Haynes): set in the 1950s in New York City, a depressed retail worker falls in love with an older woman going through a difficult divorce and joins her on a cross-country road trip (I recommend not watching this until you're done with road&sky, unless you don't mind being completely spoiled on the plot, because it follows it pretty much exactly apart from the characters, the time period, and the locations they go to)

*Roman Holiday (1953, dir. William Wyler): a young princess, bored with her everyday royal life, escapes from her palace for a single night and a single day to explore the city of Rome with an American reporter. [this is the movie that Adam and Lawrence watch in chapter 16]

Before Sunrise (1995, dir. Richard Linklater): two complete strangers, an American man and a French woman, form an immediate connection while on the Eurail and impulsively decide to disembark together to explore the city of Vienna while getting to know each other over the course of a single night.

*The Stepford Wives (1975, dir. Bryan Forbes): a photographer, her husband, and their children move to a seemingly picture-perfect town in Connecticut, where all the women are strangely subservient to their husbands. [Vikki's favorite movie, watched by Vikki and Adam in chapter 2]

In the Mood for Love (2000, dir. Wong Kar-wai): a man and a woman discover that their wife and husband, respectively, are having an affair with each other, and form a deep emotional connection born from their shared loneliness.

*Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986, dir. John Hughes): a precocious teenager boy, his anxiety-ridden best friend, and his girlfriend play hooky from high school and explore the city of Chicago. [referenced by name by Adam and Lawrence a few times, used as visual inspiration for the Chicago chapter]

Good Will Hunting (1997, dir. Gus Van Sant): a brilliant but financially and motivationally disadvantaged young man reluctantly tackles his emotional problems with the help of a stubborn therapist.

*It's A Wonderful Life (1946, dir. Frank Capra): the life of a chronically self-sacrificing man is shown up to the point of his decision to end his own life, where an angel intervenes to show him how much of an impact he's made on the people around him. [watched by Adam and Lawrence in chapter 12]

and, just because I'm a nerd, here's what Adam and Lawrence's Letterboxd Top Fours would be if Letterboxd existed in 2004:

Lawrence: Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Roman Holiday, Sleepless in Seattle (1993, dir. Nora Ephron), and Casablanca (1942, dir. Michael Curtiz)

Adam: The Thing (1982, dir. John Carpenter), Trainspotting (1996, dir. Danny Boyle), Donnie Darko (2001, dir. Richard Kelly), and Alien (1979, dir. Ridley Scott)

Books:

again, the obvious first: The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith: the book that Carol (2015) is based off of. the story is essentially the same as the movie's since Carol is a pretty accurate adaptation. Highsmith uses extremely lyrical language that hugely influenced road&sky's style of writing.

*The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald: a somewhat aimless young man becomes wrapped up in the frenetically glamorous and unexpectedly forlorn world of his charismatic and wealthy neighbor. [quoted directly in Adam's internal monologue in chapter 1]

The Lost Continent: Travels in Small-Town America by Bill Bryson: a nonfiction account of the author's travels through the United States.

*This Sweet Sickness by Patricia Highsmith: a man becomes fixated on a young woman who he was briefly romantically involved with [this is the book Adam brings with him on the trip; a passage is quoted directly in chapter 14]

On Photography by Susan Sontag: a collection of essays by American essayist and cultural critic Susan Sontag that explores the cultural history, philosophical/psychological implications, and artistic evolution of photography as an art form.

*Words Under the Words by Naomi Shihab Nye: a collection of lyrical and incisive poems by Palestinian-American poet Naomi Shihab Nye [this is the book of poetry Lawrence buys for Adam in chapter 21]. I especially recommend the poems So Much Happiness [quoted directly by Adam in chapter 22] and Kindness.

Love Poems by Pablo Neruda: a collection of sonnets and freeform verse by Chilean poet Pablo Neruda. I especially recommend the poems Sonnet XVII and The Light Wraps You.

*Chicago Poems by Carl Sandburg: a short collection of poems by American poet Carl Sandburg. I especially recommend the poems Chicago [quoted directly by Lawrence in chapter 20] and Happiness.

Music:

(this is all in addition to and largely overlapping with the official playlist for road&sky [CONTAINS STORY SPOILERS], the playlist of music used for chapter titles, and the songs that Adam and Lawrence listen to on their road trip)

Fiona Apple, specifically the albums *Tidal [referenced by name as the album Adam and Amanda listen to in chapter 31] and When the Pawn(...) and the songs "Paper Bag," "*Love Ridden" [the song Adam listens to in chapter 1 because I love foreshadowing] and "I Know."

The Weakerthans, specifically the albums Left and Leaving and *Fallow [the album Adam listens to in chapter 9] and the songs "A New Name for Everything," "Without Mythologies," "Confessions of a Futon-Revolutionist," and "*Plea from a Cat Named Virtute" [the song Adam names his cat after in chapter 31].

The Smiths, specifically the album *The Sound of The Smiths [listened to by Adam and Lawrence in chapter 5] and the songs "This Charming Man," "*There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" [listened to by Adam and Lawrence in chapter 5], "Asleep," and "Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me."

José González, specifically the album *Veneer [the CD Adam buys for Lawrence in chapter 8 that they listen to in chapter 15] and the songs "*Heartbeats" [the song Adam plays for Lawrence in chapter 6] and "Lovestain."

Nick Drake, specifically the albums *Pink Moon and *Time Has Told Me [both mentioned by Lawrence in chapter 15] and the songs "Place To Be," "Parasite," and "Free Ride."

The Cure, specifically the albums Disintegration and *Greatest Hits [the album Adam and Lawrence listen to in chapter 22] and the songs "*Just Like Heaven" [the specific song Adam and Lawrence listen to in chapter 22], "*Lovesong" [the song Adam has a physical reaction to in chapter 28], "Pictures of You," "Close to Me," and "Why Can't I Be You?"

im sure there's more stuff i'm forgetting but this is definitely a start!

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Okay, so I've been surfing tumblr and seeing all these headcanons and various other little things about the Sullies as children and it got my brain going so thanks a lot to every last person who has aided in giving me Avatar brainrot. Anyways, I've built this whole thing up in my head that goes from the time Neytiri & Ronal get pregnant to who the fuck knows, so starting with the eldest lets begin (just the Sullys as babies, if you enjoy putting your own thoughts in this one then I'll get to Ronal and Tonowari's kids and more lol).

Neteyam

He was a total and complete accident 100%

Jake and Neytiri were a very quick-burn romantically and got married a little over a year after they officially began dating, they were only married for like 12 seconds when surprise! Positive pregnancy test, babe.

Jake spends a good thirty minutes fully committed to the idea that Neytiri is just fucking with him. She is not.

He spends another thirty minutes wrapping his head around the fact that he's going to be a dad.

He wants so badly to talk to Tommy about it but god damnit he can't.

He's for sure the more cautious one during the pregnancy, of that I have no doubt. Neytiri will want to do some random shit like go horseback riding with Tsu'tey (this man will always live on in my heart okay let me be happy) and Jake will practically faint at the thought alone.

Eventually Neytiri will start pretending to want to do #risky shit solely for the amusement Jake's reactions bring her with zero intentions of actually following through. Nobody is sure if Jake ever ended up catching on or not.

I'm 100% convinced that Neytiri would be into all of the traditional pregnancy milestones/events and fucking live for each and every one of them regardless of Jake's thoughts because it's their baby, Jake, and don't you want to see if a necklace will actually predict the gender of him/her? (It very much did not, Neteyam wound up being a boy. Stupid necklace.)

Grandma Mo'at is your trademark superstitious/nature-inclined grandparent and I have zero doubts that Neytiri has inherited some of that. I feel like it would flare up during her first pregnancy but only, like, low-key. Do with this information what you will.

Jake has no idea what to do or buy or anything but boy does he try. (When he fails he fails hard but when he gets it right he gets it right *that cute little dinosaur mobile is just so adorable!*)

Neteyam is by far Neytiri's easiest pregnancy. She doesn't really get any morning sickness and feels pretty fine in general throughout the whole thing.

She does wind up craving a ton of different fruits though (blueberries and honeydew melon mainly, but also strawberries, watermelon, blackberries, and pretty much any other melon under the sun. Oh, there was also that one time she refused to eat anything but pomegranates for like one solid afternoon).

Neteyam is a summer baby and nobody can convince me otherwise. August, to be exact.

I imagine that, while her pregnancy was breezy, Neteyam's actual birth sucked ass.

Jake almost passes out but luckily war prepared him for the horrors he witnessed in that delivery room.

Neteyam was actually pretty quiet after his birth. Once they got him all wrapped up he was chill.

Jake was the first one to hold him since Neytiri was exhausted beyond understanding, but Jake sat really close to her and she pretty much demanded to hold their son after like 5 minutes and the nurses were all like: ma'am, you're about to pass out???

As long as one of six songs is playing everything is chill: Edith Whisker's Home, Stephan Sanchez's See the Light, Sea Wolf's The Violet Hour, The Family Crest's She Knows My Name, Mills' Born N' Raised, or Black Match's Nowhere. If one of these songs is playing, Neteyam is an angel. The moment the music stops, though? I'd hate to be anyone within a ten mile radius because that baby's got pipes.

I feel like Neteyam is actually a big daddy's boy during this time period. He's all giggly and happy around everyone, but it becomes clear around three months in that dad is indeed the favorite. And it makes sense. Jake is who he's around the majority of his day (I'm fully committed to stay-at-home dad Jake Sully). Neytiri likes to tease him, saying if she was at home more it would be no contest. Secretly, though, she's happy he's bonding so much with their baby. He needs some light in his life.

Jake is completely restless inside but at the same time has no idea what he can and cannot do with a baby (plus there's the whole "music needs to be playing" thing) so he resorts to long car rides regularly with Neteyam's coveted songs playing on repeat.

Neteyam isn't a picky eater per se, but he is very particular---oh who the fuck am I kidding this kid refuses to eat anything but banana baby food voluntarily good luck with that Jake. Eventually Jake manages to weasel in plum baby food too (sticking to the fruit theme I see) but that is it. (I just picture this man in tears trying to get Neteyam to try some peas or a chocolate bar or "something, Neteyam, anything".)

Spider

Spider enters the scene a little before Kiri is born, I like to think. He's already around a year and a half when he's plopped into Norm's lap as a temporary placement while they scramble to find him a more permanent home.

It starts out with Jake agreeing to watch the little guy while Norm does science-y stuff, but quickly Jake finds himself getting attached. Spider is just such a sweet, lively baby who's curious about everything around him, especially Neteyam.

Like seriously, baby Spider is full-on fascinated with his siblings, starting of course with Neteyam. Whenever he sees the boy, he'll squeal excitedly and make hand gestures as if to say "bring him closer!" and it's just the most adorable thing Jake has ever seen.

Wherever Neteyam is set down, Spider will make his way to him no matter what is in the way. He can't walk on his own completely yet, but he is very good at walking by holding on to furniture and other such things. As long has he can pull himself up, this dude is getting places.

Jake learns very quickly to either 1) watch Spider like a hawk at all times or 2) but Neteyam close by and let his charming baby work his magic in getting Spider's full attention.

Spider isn't picky (something that relieves Jake greatly) and will eat pretty much whatever Jake hands him, though Jake quickly learns that yogurt is his favorite.

Spider has a strange fascination with fairy lights, too. He gets a kick out of when they change color and it provides hours of entertainment as long as Neteyam is near as well, allowing Jake to get various things done with little concern. Spider especially likes it when the lights turn red and he always turns to babble nonsense at Jake when they do, most notably being "no no no!" but in, like, a happy way? Jake isn't sure if Spider understands the true meaning of the word yet, which actually concerns him for a little until Spider makes it very clear one day that he is not fond of baths with many no no no's.

Eventually Neytiri can't help but become fond of Spider as well. It starts when Norm needs someone to watch him on a Sunday but Jake can't because Sunday is the day he and Neytiri decided would be his break day, a time away from the kids and house to just relax, so he's at the beach. She reluctantly agrees to take Spider as a favor to Norm, seeing how desperate the man is and also not wanting to interrupt Jake's relaxing day out.

It doesn't get off to a great start. Spider seems perplexed when he realizes that Jake isn't at the house due to the fact that at this point he's been spending Monday through Friday with Jake and Neteyam (along with some Saturdays), and this is followed swiftly by agitation. He isn't a loud crier like Neteyam, but he might just be worse anyways because Jesus does that kid squirm. He spends the first hour whining and squirming and pushing at Neytiri as if to try and get her to put him down. Neteyam calms him considerably, but he's still fussy and babbling "no!" over and over again, along with the occasional break in pattern to sprinkle in some variety.

Neytiri cracks and texts Jake asking what to do, and when Jake asks if she's tried the fairy lights she realizes she hasn't and gives it a try. Spider's whining ceases instantly, replaced by giggles.

After that it's easier, and Neytiri puts on Cars and makes sure that they're both situated safely before going to the kitchen to grab a smoothie and then comes to sit on the couch. When a little hand comes to rest on her knee she looks down and sees Spider looking up at her curiously.

He then proceeds to reach out and ask "eat?" and how did Neytiri not notice how cute he is with his sunshine curls and cornflower eyes and chubby little cheeks and okay maybe she's beginning to understand why her husband is fond of this child.

(She lets Spider try the smoothie, btw.)

The day Norm has to take Spider to his more permanent foster placement, Jake and Neytiri come with and Jake has like a whole list of dos and don'ts and has brought all of the things Spider likes and is all like "and remember, he's super easy to give a bath to so long as you sing him the tiny turtle song while you put him in the tub. Oh, also he loves yogurt but especially the key-lime pie yogurt. And lemon, too! You know what, he likes citrus in general. Don't forget that his favorite color is red! I packed a pair of red pjs in there, they're his favorite, we got them for him when we went to the mall that one time. Also, so long as you feed him a good time before you put him to bed he should go down just fine, just make sure you don't---" and Neytiri's all like "ma Jake I think they get it," only then she begins her own lecture on how he likes it if you put ice in his apple juice and to never give him chocolate because it makes him hyper and don't bother with baby gates because that shit doesn't work and soon enough they realize that, hey, this might be our baby now.

Kiri

She's born a little before Lo'ak. Definitely a spring baby.

The quietest baby you will ever fucking know. When she was born she was so quiet that the doctors were genuinely worried for a moment that she'd been stillborn.

Spider loves her immediately, to absolutely nobody's surprise. A good portion of Kiri's early days are spent being babbled to by Spider endlessly.

Unlike Neteyam, Kiri is a total mama's girl and gets all grumpy when Neytiri leaves the room unless she's sleeping when Neytiri leaves, then for some reason it's all good like? Jake will never understand. Eventually, however, this becomes a Mo'at thing. Very quickly Mo'at and her become one another's favorites and Mo'at will often find the most absurd reason to come see her.

Neytiri sings to her and takes her out to the backyard to lay on the grass and I swear this baby loves grass more than she loves the warmth of her own home.

Kiri loves carrot and pea baby food, much to Jake's surprise. Sure, Spider isn't a picky eater, but the kid was by no means a lover of vegetables. He'd eat them, but never pick them. And Neteyam? Hell, getting that baby to eat something more than plums and bananas was something he considered a win. So a child who actively eats veggies? Fucking finally.

Very interested in all of the plants around their house. Nothing else to be said. She just sort of looks at them in that weird way that only babies can look at something.

She has this purple blanket that Neytiri made for her herself and she will. not. sleep without it. Ever. She won't cry or anything like that if she doesn't have it, but you best bet that she will not be doing much of anything else either.

Whenever she has it she's asleep like 90% of the time. Jake's kind of confused actually because neither Neteyam nor Spider slept as much as she does.

Over all, Kiri is probably the chillest of the Sullys as a baby. Not very demanding, not very easy to upset, and doesn't make things difficult most days.

Lo'ak

Neytiri's hardest pregnancy for sure. She was puking, sick, huge, and could hardly keep anything down at all. The only two things Neytiri managed to keep down throughout her whole pregnancy without puking it up at least once was orange juice (extra pulpy) and Domino's barbeque pizza, and you best bet that got old quick.

Thankfully, the birth went smoothly. He was for sure born in early, early summer---like the time when it's still cooler and sort of rainy but also sunny at the same time.

I don't want to go so far as to say that Lo'ak was a demon-baby, but this child definitely gave Jake a run for his money. One minute he likes something and wants it, the next minute how dare you even so much as think about trying to feed that poison to him. One minute he loves being held, the next minute he's screaming and tears are falling and he hates you. With Jake he was like this all of the time. With Neytiri he was better, but still fussy.

I'm convinced that him and Neteyam were, like, so close when they were little and the only person that Lo'ak was an absolute angel to was in fact little one-year-old Neteyam. Whenever Neteyam was around he would smile and giggle and try to get closer. I swear, even as a baby Neteyam's charm was unparalleled.

Lo'ak has this binky that he had with him almost 24/7. Without it he was even more. . . er, challenging, than usual. And teething hit him hard as well. The amount of teething toys and biscuits this poor family had to go through, I swear.

Lo'ak, unlike the others, did not take to solids very well at first. The struggle to get this child to eat something, anything, that wasn't breast milk was so real you don't even know. Jake just let Neytiri take care of this one, it was clear he wasn't going to get anywhere. How she managed to get him to eat, Jake will never know (it was cinnamon applesauce, she coerced him with cinnamon applesauce).

Lo'ak had this particularly fun phase where he liked pulling on pretty much anything within reach and this led to him almost getting himself killed multiple times.

Whenever Neteyam cried, Lo'ak cried. Whenever Neteyam laughed, Lo'ak laughed. Sometimes when he was particularly exhausted Jake would do his best to get Neteyam in a good mood because if Neteyam was in a good mood, so was Lo'ak.

Despite how difficult Lo'ak could be,  there were these times when he would just cry and cry until Jake picked him up, and then he would just fall asleep while Jake held him. As much as Jake hated to admit it, it felt nice to walk around the house with a sleeping Lo'ak tucked to his chest.

Neytiri would often cook with Lo'ak strapped to her. He was her "little taste-tester".

I'm sorry this got so long my brain knows no bounds I swear I go so overboard sometimes 😭 Tuk isn't in this one because in my head I'm going chronologically btw.

I don't even think there is anything to add, anon. Just know I am crying?? Thank you so much for this genuine gift you have given me.

I LOVEEEE stay at home wheelchair dad Jake Sully he means the entire world to me. Jake being convinced Neytiri was joking about being pregnant??? Obsessed. WANTING TO TALK TO TOMMY?? Dead. FOSTER DAD NORM?? You can't convince me Jake and Norm didn't become friends through the foster system they were both in okay okay. And Norm and Tommy connected over their science shit and Jake was always trying to keep them from getting bullied too hard lol. Norm is a foster parent because he believes in fixing the system through it, Jake is more disillusioned. He was all skeptical of the idea at first, but boy did he get attached to Spider quickly. Neytiri and Jake's Spider speech kills me I'll die real tears. They're like oh shit actually... you can't have him. And the days before they can petition the court about it? So sad. Neteyam is a mess without his buddy. Kiri's vibes are simply flawless, and I love Mo'at making shit up to be there lol. DEMON BABY LO'AK, iconic, please. He tries to die so often. They have to baby proof the baby proofing on the house.

Please anon, this made my week, definitely send more.

[ilikebigants]

Hi, I need someone else’s opinion on Leo’s ending in BoO cause personally I hate it. Like Leo’s entire reasoning for why he would die out of the seven was that he was the least valuable member and like. He’s right? Cause he does die, so his assumption was correct! And also him believing that no one would be near him/ capable of (willing to) save him is why he gave the vial to feastus instead. I know it’s meant to be like Leo defies fate and everything but it’s got to be so shattering to have your extremely low self esteem essentially be given a thumbs up by the universe.

I hate it as well, for a multitude of reasons. Let's start with the obvious: Unbelievably low self esteem.

His entire life, he's been a victim in one way or another. He was called a diabolo by his relatives for simply being born different, and his entire life he'd been going from orphanage to orphanage, being abused and bullied the whole way through. There's a high chance he's also been homeless for extended periods of time, which can give you so many different mental issues, one of the most common being a feeling that you don't exist due to how people ignored you in your time of need.

And then, Piper and Jason happen. He finally has friends!... except he doesn't. They treat him awfully, half the time wishing he wasn't there or insulting him in their minds. And as stupid as the fandom portrays him to be, he IS smart and perceptive. He definitely notices but won't bring it up because he knows what might happen if he does: they might leave him again. He'll be alone again.

People who haven't experienced long-term involuntary isolation don't understand what that does to someone. He was terrified, I can be sure of that.

How do you think he felt when he realised the friendship he had was just a product of the mist? Fearful? Helpless? He definitely wasn't happy, and I'm almost certain his heart sank at the realisation he was alone once more. The one time he wasn't only being a lie.

And then Frank and Hazel happened.

People seem to forget that Frank was an antagonising asshole WAYYYY before Leo ever insulted him or made fun of him. Why? Because Hazel treated him nicely, and Leo didn't treat her like shit. It's ridiculous. "He was trying to steal hazel1!1!" No, he wasn't. BFFR. He spoke so many times about how he'd never do that out of respect for someone else's relationship.

The reality of the situation is that he was once again isolated. He can't be friends with Frank or Hazel due to Frank's jealousy issues. Voila, he's once more alone. The 7th wheel.

Not to mention the underlying thought that Hazel only likes him because he reminds her of Sammy.

And THEN there's Percy Jackson. The saviour of olympus. Boy wander and popular as all hell. And Percy doesn't like him. Remember that? It's explicitly said that Percy didn't like Leo. Bam. There goes his last chance to make any friends. If Percy doesn't like you, then Annabeth doesn't like you. Yeah, Annabeth and Leo have been mentioned to talk about engineering with each other, but it isn't even implied that they're in any way close or talk outside of projects for the argo 2.

Why SHOULDN'T he have low self-esteem? Nothing and no one have shown him he's anything more than a tool. A thing to fix stuff around the ship. And this isn't even with me mentioning the guilt he feels for firing on New Rome, or his guilt for throwing Annabeth and Perry into Tartarus, or the MILLION of other things that have made him believe he was expendable!

His one "friend," Festus, is torn into fucking pieces!

So really, no fucking wonder he clings to the idea of a girlfriend so fucking tightly. The prospect of someone who won't leave? Who'll like him? Who'll LOVE him?! Of COURSE he wants that! And that explains why he's so eager to get back to Calypso!

I'll say it, I believe that the only reason he went back was because he thought that he and her had 1 thing in common, and that was loneliness. I genuinely believe he saw how toxic the whole thing was and didn't care because she was just as alone as he was. It's codependency in its purest form. They fought at the start, they fought in the middle, and at the end, the last scene we ever see of them together is them STILL FIGHTING. Say whatever you want about the age gap, even if it wasn't there this STILL would have been a bad relationship for both of them!

But back to the original point. Leo sacrificing himself. Personally, I think that he did it not out of a feeling of inferiority, but because he was suicidal. Straight up. And as a last ditch effort to prove to himself that the others cared.

And he was proven wrong, as they didn't care.

He was right at the end of the day. No one cared for him.

The entire story feels like a giant "fuck you" to Leo. His happy ending being losing Jason and being unhappily married to Calypso.

And on a meta level we have how the fandom treats him, basically being ignored in fan content unless they need a Comic relief.

People talk all the time about how hard the others got it in life, and I agree, but they had 1 thing that helped them make it through: a support network. Leo had it the hardest out of all of them, for the single reason that he didn't have that.

Not only was his suicide basically applauded and rewarded, but his gift for saving everyone was to be miserable for the rest of time.

We never did find out what happened to the 7 after the Trials of Apollo, but in my mind, Leo Valdez only ever talks again to Nico D'angelo. Why? Because after years with Calypso, he stops pretending, and with a gun in his right arm, he's dead.

[radioactive-earthshine]

I don't know if this is a weird question, but have you ever thought about how konbart would fit into a lord of the rings or more fantasy setting

I have thought about Kon and Bart (and DC in general) in a strict Tolkien AU and the thing is, it got so wildly different from DC canon I was basically making OC Tolkien characters by that point because there are some things that just fundamentally don't mesh well.

I did however settle that Kon was absolutely some sort of critter created by Melkor - he's Melkor's attempt to try and create one of the Ainur from scratch via fantasy-esque science that we already have in Tolkien. Naturally, he couldn't do it exactly how he wanted and he needed to borrow material to start with (Clark's Tolkien equivalent which I have noted being a special kind of Ainur that had perished somehow except for him).

Kon's origins to start are a pretty big unknown, I'm not entirely sure if he was made in Utumno or Angband but he was 100% created. I couldn't work in his exploitation really but his personhood is always questioned because "can anything Melkor have made really be alive?"

Clark shut that down damn fast and he's respected enough people listen, but still Kon is sort of held at arm's length and has to frequently 'prove' himself.

I feel like in any 'fantasy' setting Kon would have some sort of origin like that in that he is a being that was created from magic or science, alchemy or necromancy so it leaves a wide range of origins to play around with.

For Bart specifically in Tolkien it gets a little hazy because Bart's comic origins involve time travel. The Lord of the Rings are not strict staunch fantasy stories, particularly not the Silmarillion where there are a lot of science fiction elements - Tolkien was a fan of science fiction and he had a delightful way of interpreting science fiction themes or blending them within fantasy elements.

For Bart... He is 100% from the future, but he's like, from more than 1000 years in the future, he's from more like 100,000+ years in the future because the time difference between ages in Tolkien already can be several thousand years old.

Bart is the same sort of critter that Luthien was but leaned heavily on his Ainur side - he's more Ainur than whatever his second half is (I am undecided) but he really can move like the wind and he dances like light on water.

Ainur do not know what to do with him.

As for his back story I have it scribbled down (tentatively) that he was born just before the end of days in an age where Valinor (for whatever reason) was reintegrated with the physical world. It was an age of peace and unity where technology and nature existed in harmony and unity and all sentient beings worked with each and loved each other - where Quendi that had long since faded due to life wariness now found comfort and joy in life and the Ainur were content to see that what they helped create so long ago really was that beautiful.

Then Melkor came back back out of the void walking around on his stupid little stump legs (<- that's in my notes) and decided to fuck things up.

I don't know how it happened or why but Bart was sent back in time by [redacted] because he's a special boy that Melkor would either kill outright the moment he got ahold of him or would try and manipulate him. So naturally the most logical solution was to send him back in time to the... (checks notes).... First Age... where Melkor is alive???

To be fair they didn't want to send him the First Age, they wanted to send him back only maybe 1000 years but they hadn't really tested this technology and perhaps there are other forces at play and poor Bart ended up in the First Age with his mind a little bit scrambled from the trip.

Max does end up taking him in in this, he's one of the quendi that refused to leave Cuivienen period or go West, he's one of the Avari. He's unsure what to do with Bart really at first but Bart's still a teen when he shows up, and he's in need, so he resigns himself to helping him and they bond. I have a note here about an agreement with Nessa allowing Bart to stay with Max only IF Bart stays there and doesn't leave, there's an implication that they also fear Melkor getting a hold of him.

In a basic more generic fantasy setting Bart can be fun to play with I think but I believe him being something distinctly not human is a must - the more impish the better and I personally think leaning on him being a refugee and being lonely is a plus. ANYWAY how KonBart happen in this AU that is turning more into just an original story at this point because we've broken so many rules and stretched canon thin - Bart doesn't meet Kon until he's actually a few centuries old, which means little to most everyone at this time.

How they meet is Bart decides to, impulsively, go West anyway breaking the agreement Max made with Nessa because he got tired of being there and he wanted to see his kin. Bart doesn't have any context for Kon and just thinks he's amazing and fascinating and he makes him feel less alone.

I don't have anything else for this Tolkien AU kjfnjkrbfe

As for a more generic fantasy setting I haven't gone too far because fantasy can be such a broad range I would need like, a world bible FIRST then build from that; what species exist, is magic a thing, what are the fundamental rules etc etc etc.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense or is what you were looking for but this is all I have and all subject to change.

[teecupangel]

Thoughts ond the new web comic for ac black flag?

Someone in the Kenway bloodline is a whore and I hope the plot twist is it isn’t Edward but Haytham. XD

Okay, so in all seriousness, Edward Kenway is like the 2nd poster boy of Assassin’s Creed and it shows. Before this webtoon, there was also a manga called Assassin’s Creed Black Flag: Kakusei (usually translated as ‘Awakening’) and it is considered as noncanon (where the descendant is a half-Japanese student that's Edward's descendant from his mother's side) while the webtoon seemed to be considered to be canon.

So for the webtoon, I have dipped my feet in the high seas and all I could find was the Indonesian version for the 1st chapter so I can’t be sure of what’s happening but the main character is a descendant of Edward Kenway and this is set after Black Flag.

Which is a bit weird as the ending of Black Flag made it clear that Edward was returning to England with Jenny but it’s highly possible that Edward is in that time period where he’s looking for Isu related artifacts and temples for the Brotherhood (which included the temple in Alamut).

I always assumed that Edward had that adventure after Haytham was born as noted in AC wiki though but, because this webtoon is supposed to be canon and set after Black Flag, it's highly possible it must have taken the genetic memory of Edward Kenway from the main character and one of the plot points is that Edward would have a love interest in this one and the main character is a descendant of Edward and that love interest.

Because if they were using Desmond Miles' genetic memory, the Edward Kenway portions of the webtoon must happen between late 1722 - early 1725 (at most 8~10 months before December). In other words, before Haytham is conceived.

If they were using the main character's genes though, it's free game 'cause I won't be surprised if Edward cheated on someone like Tessa Kenway. (cheating is bad though so please don't)

Now, one could argue, “maybe they’re using Edward’s remains like what Layla did?” and yes, that’s a possibility. Just because the main character is a descendant does not mean Abstergo is using his actual genetic memory to access Edward’s memories. For all we know, he’s being used to get a high synchronization rating using the DNA from Edward's remains.

So I guess we’ll just have to see where this goes.

But the most important thing:

The fuck is this? Is that supposed to be Altaïr and Ezio???

Are you guys telling us he’s also the descendant of Altaïr and Ezio?! Because I call bullshit on that. This would mean that this dude would have had to have a similar genetic makeup to Desmond unless you’re going to say “oh, the Altaïr genes came from Darim not Sef, don’t worry”. One of the main points in AC is that Desmond is the only known descendant of Auditore AND Ibn-La'Ahad blood (until Elijah). If the main character has the same bloodline as Desmond, then dear god, Minerva’s gonna grab this innocent bystander and drag him to the Grand Temple to be sacrificed instead of Desmond.

Or is this another case of “we thought that Ezio was Altaïr’s descendant, oops!” that I’ve seen in two different official Japanese AC booklet???

Although...

So wild wild theory...

Absolutely not gonna happen...

The age of the main character is a bit of a mystery but if this is set in 2023 and he's around mid teens to at most 19, he could be another one of Desmond's kids. 20 is pushing it and anything beyond that though would be, uuuhhh, possible but you don't wanna think about that.

[blackcat419]

How time skips fuck a story.

HotD has many time skips in the story, some help move the story along, some are there to fill time without showing anything, and some end up messing the story up by removing important character moments so the audience can only infer or be told about.

Time skip timeline

Episode 1: 9 year time skip between scenes 1 and 2. This is a good time skip as it establishes the past tension but doesn’t place major character moments or actions in the time skip.

Episode 2: 6 months pass between episode 1 and 2. This is an okay time skip as everything is kind of the same before and after with the only thing changing is the momentum for certain emotions. For example, Rhaenyra’s sadness over her mother’s death has lessened. The Velaryons are pushing for more power in the royal family. And Viserys has decided he will marry Alicent.

Episode 3: three year time skip. This is the first bad time skip. We miss the degradations of Rhaenyra and Alicent’s relationship, neither able to address Visery’s actions are talk about their own emotions about it. We also get Aegon being introduced, which should have been a major scene on its own. The male heir that Viserys destroyed his family for is here, and what do we get? Just, let’s go hunting! No politics plz! Alicent is also heavily pregnant with Helaena and we don’t know how she feels about this. Is she scared she’ll die? Will Viserys kill her for another male heir?

The only okay part of the time skip is the war in the step stoned because we know Daemon has joined with Corlys. Nothing has happen there that is of note.

Episode 4 & 5: a few months pass as Helaena is born (still no birth scene for Alicent to parallel Aemma, the last queen who died on that bed). And episode 5 follows right after.

Episode 6 & 7: 10 years. We get 4 new actors, 6 new kid characters with 2 new actors for Aegon and Helaena, and new relationship dynamics between multiple characters! We have Rhaenyra and Harwin having a whole relationship with three kids that they have to keep secret. Laenor and Qarl having a secret relationship. Laenor dealing with the grief of Jeoffrey’s death. Criston and Alicent’s new found friendship/romance. Laena and Daemon’s relationship. Alicent and Rhaenyra becoming political actors. The court gossip around the paternity of Rhaenyra’s sons. The relationship between the kids. The relationship between the kids and their dragons. Just to name a few.

This is a bad time skip because it jumps not only time, but character development. Time skips like this ruin shows. This is why Martin didn’t have a five year time skip in the books because there was story in those 5 years that couldn’t be glossed over or used in flash backs.

Episode 8, 9, & 10: a 6 year time skip. This time skip isn’t as horrendous as the 10 but still bad. All 6 kids age up, Aegon and Helaena are married and have kids, Aegon has become very depressed and an alcoholic, Aemond has become a great sword fighter with his disability. Both Luke and Jace know they are bastards and we don’t see them talk to their mom or really come to terms with it. Luke doesn’t have to deal with maiming Aemond. Rhaena doesn’t build a relationship with the strong boys while on dragon stone. We don’t see Baela build a relationship with Rhaenys.

This time skip ignores a lot of relationship building but doesn’t ruin much plot development. The only plot point I’d want to see more is Corlys and Rhaenys dealing with Laenor’s supposed death.

Time skips can be okay when they are used to age up characters, skip over training montages, or over periods of time where nothing is changing. Time skips are terrible when they skip over character beats and plot point. In a rush to get the setup for HotD done and move into the war, the creators brushed over character and plot moments in those 20 years that would help with the main war. I fear that this same theme will be used in the upcoming seasons to focus on action moments and ignore character moments.

[forlorn-crows]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

im not usually good with these, but i can share some of the ones ive really enjoyed writing:

Learning to Swim

my first in depth gill fic; just something about rain being obsessed with himself and mountain being so loving, attentive, and zoned in on rain's pleasure . . . it was after a period of writing where nothing felt "right," and i think this fic helped me tap back in to my writing voice. i wanted to showcase the emotions of teaching moments; i dont think we get to see that too often, let alone the 'clumsiness' and hesitation of them.

2. this ficlet featuring transmasc cirrus & aether

i dont think very many people read this one. but i love the idea of a magick strap where the user can feel everything while in a hot, gender affirming scene. i dont see very often that we 'trans' any of the ghoulettes, and i love the dynamic cirrus and aether have, so i thought they'd fit well here. something about he/him cirrus feels right to me, and nice to explore.

3. tough love

void's [@divine-misfortune's] fault (affectionate). we have so many discussions about quintosis and hypno kink that i love, and this was borne from one of them. omega's backwards way of showing his love, while also getting to Fuck with zephyr. going against their will to do something for their benefit, even though you know they'll wake up later and curse out omega for doing it.

4. mushy may 2024 day 5: animals

hank the raccoon and juniper the cat, two of my beloved animal OCs. theyre just fun to write about, and have a simple, yet fun love for each other. mountain, of course, is always caught in the middle.

5. Yours In The End

a fic meant really to channel negative feelings into. im still feeling a lot of the emotions that went into writing this. but also the dynamic of dew and mountain and aether's relationship after Everything Happened is meaningful in so many ways to me. the way they have to navigate a scary new world, and all they have is each other.

6. this big boy quintosis sandwich ficlet

to be honest its one of my own fics i go back and re-read all the time. i just like mountain zonked and helpless between two beefy, daddy quint ghouls, okay?

7. mushy may 2023 day 8: first time

another one of my own fics i go back to. the pause they have before falling into one another; you just know theyve danced around each other for a hot minute. but they're both new, freshly summoned. they have to figure out their own bodies, let alone who and how they want to share them with. but its just . . . easy for them to make that jump. and i do enjoy little dick mountain from time to time.

8. this terzomega ficlet

the one and only time ive written these two, though i dont know why that is. but this one i had fun with the scene setting and action descriptions, i felt like i had a clear image in my mind's eye and really put it down on paper. i really love omega and terzo's dynamic too, so that made it an enjoyable writing session. this was shortly after JHKM came out, so i snuck a reference to the line "get on your knees and start prayin'" in there.

you'll notice Lady of the Lake is not on this list, because all i did was cry about it for months, and then beat myself up to finish it for the first day of kinktober '23. it was not necessarily fun to write, but the concept itself i enjoyed, lmao

xx

@iamthecomet, @waywardsamaritan, @askingforthesun, @wrathofrats, and @ghoul-slime id be interested to know some of the fics you'd put on your own lists!

[capricorn-season]

From Trans to TERF: My experience as a desister

Hazel

9 September 2023No Comments

I’m Hazel. I’m a 31 year old woman, who was diagnosed as autistic in adulthood. At age 17, I experienced Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria. Here is my story.

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of self harm and suicide.

Background

Looking back, I can see how several things in my childhood and teenage years contributed to the fact that I ended up experiencing gender dysphoria.

My mother was the type to relish the fact she had a daughter. She wanted to dress me up in pretty dresses, with bows in my hair and frilly socks. If you know anything about autistic sensory issues and Pathological Demand Avoidance, you can probably begin to understand why being pushed to dress in uncomfortable, excessively girly clothes would be unpleasant to an autistic girl. I started to eventually reject everything ‘girly’. I refused to wear dresses or skirts – it was jeans and t-shirts exclusively, even at weddings. I rejected the colour pink, despised the idea of make-up, and ended up in friendships with exclusively boys. It didn’t help that my mother would often tell me that I ‘should have been born a boy’ in reference to my gender non-conformity.

Feeling ‘not like the other girls’ (and not in the quirky, attention seeking way) is quite common in autistic girls (and women). Being autistic in general can make you feel like you don’t fit in, that you’re different to everyone around you. I didn’t ‘feel’ like a girl, because the girls around me felt so alien to me. I didn’t relate to them at all. In my early teens, I used to look at them like odd sheep, all with the same hair, clothes, bags etc. They were the weird ones. But by my mid-to-late teens, I felt like the weird one. I didn’t fit in. I didn’t feel like a ‘normal’ girl. It is easy to see how, when introduced to trans ideology, it would be so easy for me to latch onto it, convincing myself that I ‘should’ have been a boy.

My peer group didn’t help. It’s not easy, being an atypical teen. I was told to ‘stay in my gender’, amongst other hurtful things. I couldn’t make friends with girls, and I didn’t feel like I could fit in with my guy friends, because I wasn’t one of them. I wanted to dress ‘like a boy’ and act ‘like a boy’, without strange looks, bullying or criticism from my college classmates. Sadly, it didn’t seem possible. It felt like the only way I could live how I wanted was to become male.

Period of Dysphoria

My period of acute gender dysphoria began in September 2009, 3.5 months short of my 18th birthday. It was all-encompassing. I felt like I needed to transition NOW to ease my dysphoria, otherwise I would surely end up committing suicide. It didn’t take long to come out to my then-boyfriend, my mother, and some of my friends. It was easily one of the worst periods of my life. I wouldn’t have listened to anyone who told me that I was wrong about how I felt. I was self-harming daily. The urges to end my life were intrusive. I really did feel like I was just surviving day-to-day, trying to stave off the urges to commit suicide by imagining a future where I’d be on hormones and have surgery. A future where I would feel like myself. My mental state ended with my mother telling me that I was ‘fucked up’ and ‘not welcome’ under her roof until I’d had psychiatric help. (My mother was emotionally abusive and we haven’t been on speaking terms since this happened, but that’s another story.)

I cut my hair very short, and I started to dress more ‘like a boy’ than I ever had previously. I’d never been entirely comfortable with my body, but now I couldn’t stand it. I’d sleep in boxers, but the presence of my breasts made me want to die. Transition, and surviving long enough to get that far, was the only thing on my mind.

My suicidal feelings lifted a bit after my mother kicked me out, and I went to live with my dad. Her emotional abuse undoubtedly contributed to my depression. The gender dysphoria persisted for about a month after that. It actually dissipated on night, along with my depression, almost like magic. I was home alone, and my plan was to get into the bathtub with my self-harm blade, and cut myself deeply, with the intent of bleeding out. Instead, I felt my depression and my dysphoria lift, and I got out of the bath feeling ‘female’ again. The next day, I went shopping and bought myself some feminine clothes. There was definitely some kind of shift that happened inside of me that night, one that I’m still not able to explain.

I still occasionally feel ‘male’ even to this day. But it’s a feeling that I can easily shake. With age has come the ability to not care what people think of how I dress or how I behave. I now accept my body for what it is, and I no longer believe my body parts or my chromosomes should have any impact on how I should live my life. I am an adult human female, but by no means do I have to act like a stereotype.

The Depo Shot

One thing that has always stood out to me, is the fact that the onset of my gender dysphoria was exactly around the time I was weaning off the depo contraceptive injection. I’d only had one injection (intended to last 3 months) but the side effects were too much for me to handle, so I opted not to get the next shot when it was due. Throughout my gender dysphoria, my hormones were still messed up from the shot. I know this because I wrote in my transition journal that my period was late, and I was worried I may be pregnant, and about the impact that that would have on my dysphoria.

David Ludden Ph.D. at Psychology Today describes Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria as occurring in adolescence, the overwhelming majority of which are females who had experienced no signs of dysphoria prior to puberty. It makes me wonder just how many of them experienced gender dysphoria starting around the time they started hormonal contraceptives. It’s by no means something I’ve studied, it’s just a thought that I’ve never been able to shake. If anyone has any relevant experience, I’d love for you to comment below, or to contact me on Xwitter.

Experience With Hormone Blockers

In my late 20s, I sought out treatment for Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder. This led to me being administed Zoladex, a GnRH Analogue (gonadotropin releasing hormone agonist) to stop my menstrual cycles. It is also referred to as chemical menopause.

GnRH Analogues are also used as puberty blockers for children with gender dysphoria. I want to share why I, as someone who has actually been on this medication, finds this practice to be horrific.

The side effects of Zoladex can be brutal. I felt so horribly depressed and suicidal in just the one month I stayed on it that I knew I couldn’t let myself have another injection. I felt so awful about myself – my self esteem was through the floor. Life felt pointless. That month was very difficult to survive. The thought of pre-pubescent children being given these very powerful medications chills me. Depression is listed as a side effect on the patient leaflet. Other side effects include loss of bone density leading to an increased risk of osteoporosis, reduced heart function, blood clots, liver problems and psychosis.

Where I’m At Now

How do I see gender now? I suppose I would call myself a gender atheist. I am now comfortable with the fact that how I choose to present myself to the world has nothing to do with what genitals I have. I am an adult human female, but by no means do I have to act like a stereotype.

I used to be a trans ally, even until very recently. However, the way things are going with the Trans Radical Activist community has me concerned. As a feminist, I despise the fact that trans-identified males are taking away from women at every turn. In sports, in private spaces, even in prisons and women’s shelters. As a woman who has been abused, I do not want men accepted into places where I am vulnerable, such as public bathrooms. Women have fought hard over many years for their safety and rights. I find it horrific to see those rights and safe spaces being ripped away by men who want to play dress-up. Women have always been oppressed. Only now, men are allowed to dress up as us, and oppress us further. If we have anything to say about it, if we are uncomfortable, we are labelled as bigots, TERFs, and often faced with violence and death threats.

The damage the trans community are doing to the LGB community is also very apparent. LGB people have fought for acceptance and the right to live peacefully for years. Their work is now being undone by garish, loud and violent trans-identified males, who have tarnished the Pride flag with their behaviour. Lesbians are being called bigots now because they refuse to sleep with trans-identified men. #LGBwithouttheT is now trending more than ever. I do hope that LGB people can protect the progress they have made, before too much damage has been done to their reputation.

The reaction from trans people to my speaking out as a desister has been… Interesting, to say the least. These are the same people who would have told me, aged 17, that if I felt like I was trans, then I was trans. The same people who would shout from the rooftops that only an individual gets to say what their gender identity is, and anyone who questions it is a bigot. Those people now tell me that I was ‘never really trans’, which is a phrase often used to silence desisters and detransitioners. It seems that these trans activists believe that anyone who desists or detransitions was ‘never really trans to start with’, a logic would conveniently put the detransition rate of actual trans people at 0%. I’ve also been told (just yesterday, actually) that I wasn’t a real person, and that my Xwitter account was fake, created just to discredit and harass trans people (despite my profile being 3 years old, and me mostly posting about cats). Trans-identified people are determined not to acknowledge the existence of desisters and detransitioners, so much so that they will deny what is right in front of them.

Quotes From My Transition Diary

I want to finish with some quotes from my Transition Journal. I hope that these will give some insight as to what went on in my head, as a 17-year-old autistic ‘trans’ kid.

‘I felt like I should have been dressed like all of the other guys there, and just didn’t feel right dressed as a girl. And the more masculine I dress, the more comfortable I feel. I wore a shirt and tie to college the other day and felt great until people started questioning me. And it feels like the only way I can be myself without being questioned is by being a boy… Which is fucking scary.‘

‘My entire life I’ve never worn make-up wilfully. I dressed entirely like a boy from the age of 14. I cut my hair short in January. All of this just makes me feel so much more comfortable. And it’s so hard making friends because they girls don’t like me and the guys don’t really understand why I am as I am. I’ve been told “stay in your own gender” and other things but I really just do what I feel comfortable with. I feel like everything would be so much fucking easier and so fucking right if I was a boy. I’d just be able to fit in fine, be friends with who I want, wear whatever I want, without being fucking questioned every step of the way.‘

‘I’m not a girl. Just looking at me – how could anyone have watched me grow up and think I was meant to be female? I’ve never been girly, I’ve never wanted to wear skirts or dresses or make-up… I’ve always wanted to play the drums and make male friends and play football… I remember wanting to be on the school football team in year 4 and in year 7, and always hating the idea of being on a girls team. An all-girls school has always sounded like a personal hell to me, and I always hated doing girls sports in PE. I remember wanting to join the boys PE class, too. It’s always been there, I’ve just never been conscious of it until recently.’

[applejuicetastesgood]

I just finished Morning Star and have no idea how to feel about Virginia keeping Little Pax a secret from Darrow. Like he didn’t get to hold him as a baby or watch his first steps and hear his first words. Like……… this feels like a violation of his parental rights and feels very reminiscent of Eo not telling him she was pregnant and then intentionally getting hung. Like, Ladies, those were his kids too, he’s got some rights here. Please, tell me if I’m insane or over thinking this. Perhaps, as a fellow fan for a longer period of time, you have more developed thoughts on this? (Also, your master post says you’re to be called Mr Apple and a gay/boy-kisser but your bio says she/her, is this fully accurate? What would you prefer to be identified as?)

Oohooo my first Red Rising related ask…

I’m currently about a qauter to half the way through dark age (2 books ahead) so my memory of morning star and the books before is abit foggy, but alas, I shall try my best for you.

RIGHT! *claps hands together*

I believe that mustang didn’t tell Darrow simply for the reason that she knew that if she did, he’d change.

Not in a bad way, but he’s soften, he’d want to be around her and his new born child and if we’re being completely honest, that is not ideal in the middle of a war.

I can see why you feel this way towards it, tbh, I wasn’t a massive fan either. But it’s good to realise the context.

Since red rising Darrow has literally been a machine of war, sure he’s regretted stuff and he’s human and he is capable of expressing others feelings but. The vast majority of the time he’s been like a bulldozer. So, if you then tell that bulldozer they have a child mid way through trying to win a war…. That bulldozer is more likely to think less about the war and more about his lil kiddo.

So, I think it is kind of shitty because in a way she hid information from him. But also it’s very understandable why, at least in my opinion.

In regards to Eo?… ehhhhhhh… I really can’t remember much about her apart from the fact she was literally just a child who wanted the end of gold and she’s what started Darrow on the war path. Why she didn’t tell him she was pregnant? Most likely because she knew what she was doing was dangerous and could foresee her own death. Maybe she didn’t want to tell him because she didn’t want to make her eventual death even worse.

Oh god.. can you imagine if he found out literally just as he pulled her feet?? I’m imaging some split reality where Darrow still becomes a gold, but instead of going through the institute and “rising” he literally fucking (again with the bulldozer metaphor) bulldozers through EVERYONE without literally a spec of help.

No Sevro, no Mickey, no Pax , no Mustang.

Just. Nero, dead, the jackal, dead, Octavia au lune.. DEAD

So either, Darrow literally goes full god and kills everyone with zero help

OR

he attempts this and dies.. he dies pretty quickly and the books are just about a angry child trying his best to get revenge only to be swiped down by the sword of his oppressors.. MWAH!!

( ohh my master post, I’ve edited it now but I’m trying out she/her pronouns for abit to see how they fit! (Possibly 🏳️‍⚧️ moment ) )

[sanityshorror]

Do Julius or Killian have any hard moral lines? Like, hypocritical or not, anything they refuse to do/look down on

Oh boy... NOW THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!! Alright.... extreme horror... LET'S FUCKIN GOOOOO!!

!! Undercut due to nsfl stuff, 18+ !!

Warning that this is gonna get.. Dark.. But I still didn't get graphic.

Let's start with Killian.

I'm sure nearly everyone who's aware of Killian's canon info 101, knows that his one, absolute red line: never harming children. He's actually very protective of small children when around them, and has even thrown himself in front of a child, and taken a bullet to save their life - on two occasions (this was as a human). Killian was beyond horrifically abused in every imaginable way since (quite literally) the moment he was born.

(TANGENT: no this isn't for shock, unfortunately, this happens FAR TOO OFTEN in the real world and people need to stop pretending these things don't happen because you are just telling victims to shut the fuck up.)

HOWEVER.. You really think the man is asking for ID? And if someone says they're 18.. Despite even if they look younger... Yeah... He is gonna say "fair game aha". KILLIAN IS GROSS AND FUCKED UP, Don't act surprised

Killian is also not okay with racism, point blank, end of story…except when it comes to Italians. He really hates Italians. (Killian was born in Ireland and immigrated to Boston at age 20). So.. European on European racism 😭

Another one of Killian's ' absolutely the fuck not ' red lines is - well first context: Julius has OSDD and one of the 6 alters is an extremely childish, young one. Killian absolutely refuses to engage in any sort of sexual activity with Julius when that alter is fronting (nor does Killian have any sexual attraction to Julius when, despite still having an adult body, is basically a young child mentally and behaves/acts like one). Killian tends to just put movies on and cuddle him. Though, that alter doesn't front often. It only happens when Julius has a horrific flashbacks for extended periods of times, repressed memories come back, and his brain just can't handle it. (To be clear, this is an alter and not the same thing as age regression, Julius doesn't do the latter.)

Killian also is not okay with queerphobia (he will shoot you, or worse). Basically, he's against all discrimination…except for when it comes to women. He's beyond misogynistic.

Buuut…anything else? Well, to quote Killian, "Careful sweet cheeks, ya ain't gonna like the answers about the shit I fuckin goddamn happily do…I'm one sick fuck and goddamn fuckin' proud of it! Let your mind fuckin' wander to the nastiest shit…I goddamn LOVE that fuckin stuff."

.. Yeah, Killian is…oof.

If you really want, send another ask and Im willing to disclose a few absolute shockers of things he's done that will make you fall

Now, onto Julius….

Well, he hates and avoids kids. He beat absolute fuck out of his own though.

He's not racist (he doesn't understand it at all, just is baffled over the entire thing.. Being a thing…same Julius, tbh).

But uh

Yep, that is it! 👍

You'll find out just how absolutely horrific he is on December 24…try to enjoy your Christmas dinner after reading this one 🗿

Uhh.. I'll add, though Julius and Killian are not related- this applies to 'em both...

Sweet home necrobama..

[fictionkinfessions]

(Warning: this post contains mentions of homophobia, transphobia, bullying, and emotional neglect, as well as general issues with ahistoricism and cultural ignorance within the fictionkin community. Also, this only applies to sources that are meant to take place in a relatively realistic setting or are based on a real-world reigon/time period! If that's not you, feel free to ignore this.)

Hm... I was scrolling around and saw an ask from a really long time ago, and it made me want to say something.

Obviously I'm okay with people using whatever labels and pronouns they want for their kins! It's their kintype, so it's their business, sure, fine, all cool with me. However, even if you do remember being LGBTQ+, you have to take the time period and location into account.

For example, hello, I'm Kennith. I was born in 1969 in an average suburban town in Michigan. Nowadays, in this life, I'd say that I was demigreyromantic, gay, genderfluid, transmasc, and generally gnc, and I would've used he/they pronouns.

However, back when I was still alive as a teenager in the 80s, I knew the word gay and... yeah, that really was about it. If you had asked me then, I would've described the rest of that stuff as "I'm not really that much of a romance guy" and "I'm a guy who was born as a girl and hated it, but I still don't mind looking like a girl sometimes", and I used strictly he/him back then since "I'm a guy and that's what you call guys", because again, I was a teenager in the 80s, and I had no idea any of this stuff was even an option.

And, quick reminder, this is a relatively modern time frame, and it's in the United States. You may have all of these really cool microlabels and neopronouns to describe yourself now, and there's nothing wrong with that! It's never too late to discover who you truly are/were. However, you have to realize that you sure as hell weren't using those labels as, say, a member of ancient Japanese royalty. In terms of both the time frame and the language itself, that's just not how that would've worked.

Also, not to get overly negative, but chances are, if you are from sometime back in the day, even if it's as relatively recent as I was, people would most likely have not been accepting of you. I know people weren't accepting of me. I was bullied ruthlessly in school by nearly everyone for being gay and presenting myself femininely despite being transmasc. "Pretty Boy" was actually the tamest of the awful names they would call me, and it didn't even stop at insults. They would deliberately misgender and deadname me at every opportunity, bump me into walls and shit like that, and I even remember them beating me up a few times. My teachers and counselor did absolute jack-shit, and basically told me that I deserved it since I was so "different" (which is the word they used instead of calling me slurs! fun!). My parents were never much help either since A: I wasn't out to them, and B: they never gave a shit about literally anything else. The only people who respected me at all during that time were Stephanie and Greg, but I was barely able to see Greg outside of the gas station he worked at, and I've already gone into what ended up happening with fucking Stephanie... ugh.

Anyways, once again I say, this was in the United States in the 1980s. If people didn't accept me there and then, the chances of people accepting you for who you in another place and/or an earlier time are next to nothing. I'm sorry, it fucking sucks that it had to be that way, but it's true. I'm obviously not saying that you're not valid if you did have people who accepted you, I'm just saying that it's highly unlikely, given historical context.

I'm sorry for ranting once again, and I'm sorry if I said anything hurtful. The last thing I want to do is invalidate anyone. This is just something to consider, I guess... Ah well, who am I to tell you guys what you can and can't do? If I was still alive I'd be like 54 years old. Old Man Yells at Cloud.

-Kennith Simmons

[clockworkdragonffxiv]

I'll admit the point went over my head when I was younger, and I still sometimes wonder if Verhoeven is so unsubtle about things that you actually don't get the message. Robocop had the same problem: the ultraviolence is s over the top it's like having a megaphone shoved in your face.

Honestly, I thought the animated series based on Starship Troopers of all things got the satire at a level that tween me could understand. Because that, somehow, left a mark on my attitudes towards militarism and military adventurism and just how brutal wartime thinking is. That's even with the show portraying the war with the Arachnids as much more ambiguous with who actually started it (in the movie it's pretty clear that the Federation provoked if not outright invaded the violently territorial Bugs, while in the show while SICOM are shown to be on occasion huge assholes the Bugs actually are expansionist and domineering towards other species), it had this element of cynicism towards war and every episode hammered in "War sucks."

Like, there's a line that sticks with me. The whole episode had been about this brand new combat robot assigned to the unit, and at the end it learned the value of human life and sacrificed itself to save the squad's reporter. The narration from that reporter at the end says something bitterly to the effect of "SICOM decided that the CHAS androids weren't 'cost effective'. Good thing humans come cheap."

Hell of a thing to put in a show aimed at 13 year old boys, huh. Had more of an impact on me than the movie, where the unrelenting boobs and gore drowned out the rest. Okay, to be fair, I was 14. Boobs and gore are awesome when you're 14.

I think the movie wasn't helped for me because I'd read the book, and I liked the book. Again, I was 14, so cut me some slack here. But I was wanting the book, because the big Marauder suits as depicted in the book were awesome sounding. So that didn't help me.

The Arachnids in the books are morally about equal to Humans. Both species are expansionist, violent, have eyes on the same territory and resources, and don't want to share. They're also just as capable of building FTL spaceships as humans, and seem to conduct diplomacy that we never see. But Heinlein wrote the book in response to dialing back the nuclear testing and took inspiration for the society of the Federation from the Roman Republic. He also specifically noted that to him it was basically just a thought experiment that let him play around with some ideas he found intellectually interesting rather than anything he actually supported.

Honestly, if you want a good commentary on this kind of thing, go read The Forever War by Joe Halderman. It's like Starship Troopers only Halderman wrote as part of his psychological recovery from being a combat engineer in Vietnam. It gets how utterly fucked up and fucking stupid war is. Like by the end they're fighting at the ass end of space with spears and bows and arrows for a planet that's a deathtrap, a handful of them survive... and they get home and find out the whole fucking war was a big misunderstanding and humanity has now become so strange they have more in common with the aliens now than the humans who were doing the fighting.

It's got some regressive ideas because, well, it was written in the 1970s, but forward thinking for the time. Homosexuality isn't treated as bad, just a bit confusing to the main character who by the end is also the only straight guy in his unit, and sexual orientation is mentioned as being something that can be altered with a minor medical procedure. Note that this is for people who are "born" (genetically engineered) with their default orientation set to gay. Little things like that. Halderman has admitted he finds those details kind of embarrassing now, but again, he wrote this back in the 1970s so for the time period it's doing its' best.

Anyways that's enough rambling from me.