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I've been replaying Nobodies and in the middle of the second game I thought "Hey this guy talks like Desmond!" then I thought it would be pretty funny if Desmond became a murder cleaner lol
Nobodies: Murder Cleaner is available for Android, PC (via Steam) and Apple if you want to try it. It’s a point and click game where you play as a member of a secret government organization and your job is to clean up after other members have killed the target.
So we have two option for this idea.
Option 1: Canon ‘Verse where Desmond becomes a Cleaner instead of a Bartender
In this one, the only thing we have to tweak is what Desmond’s history becomes when he left the Farm. Maybe he saw one of the Cleaners doing their job in Rapid City and the Cleaner didn’t want to kill a kid to cover his tracks so he makes Desmond his accomplice, helping him clean it up, all the while teaching him the ‘craft’. After that, Desmond tags along because the Cleaner says that’s the only way he’ll survive and maybe Desmond’s upbringing mess him up enough that he thinks this is okay. That this kind of life is actually better than the life he had back on the Farm. The Cleaner keeps a close eye on him and notices how ‘unique’ Desmond’s upbringing is. He even thinks Desmond has what it takes to actually be one of the ‘messy ones’ but Desmond preferred to clean. It feels… more distant to his life before.
We get our timeskip and Desmond is one of the best cleaners out there. His identity is ironclad because his Cleaner mentor gave him a new one and their organization made it official since they do have a bit of leeway with the government. In exchange, Desmond will be in their service which he doesn’t mind because the organization pays for everything he needs (other than the equipment and items he might actually need when it was time to clean up because having such equipment with him when he gets to the scene would be security guard bait).
At this point, the organization has an idea that Abstergo is very sus and there’s a shadowy organization that does questionable things against Abstergo most of the time. They don’t know the full story though but Desmond believes that his parents’ cult is actually an ecoterrorist group. He keeps it to himself though since he doesn’t want to be anywhere close to them.
With the backing of the organization and his more honed skills and espionage, Desmond is actually more or less a ghost even to Abstergo. They know Desmond Miles exist but they also know that he disappeared nine years ago. Desmond’s government records are all fake data but authenticated by the government itself. Hell, he even has an SSN and tax records. (Your call if he keeps his Desmond Miles name or he changes to like Desmond Miller or full on fake name like Derek Milton or something XD)
If you still want Desmond to be part of the Animus Project or to kickstart the main plot, Desmond gets caught because the organization has traitors and one of them took him while he was cleaning a scene that turned out to be a trap. However, Desmond knows how to play the game and his childhood training only help him become better at his job.
If Vidic kept the same ‘security’ in AC1 (cameras only, no visible guards), Desmond would find a way to kill Vidic and (maybe) Lucy before the guards even get there. Once he gets access to the computer (thanks, Lucy), tampering with the security feed would be easy because he’s done it before as a Cleaner. He’s also used to using items and devices he sees on the ‘scene’ so yeah…
Before the even finishes Altaïr’s memories, he’d most probably already made his escape after cleaning the scene.
And that’s when…
The Bleeding Effect starts…
Option 2: Full Spy AU where every Assassin is messy and Desmond has to clean after them
Okay, this one plays loose with the lore.
In this one, the Brotherhood is a secret organization that has the capital and the influence that a usual Hollywood super spy organization has.
And Desmond is the poor son of a high ranking member of the organization. He was being trained to be an operative but he didn’t want to be an operative like his father.
So… he became a cleaner instead.
In this one, I think it would be fun if Desmond is just some poor cleaner who has to clean up for the messiest of the operatives because he’s one of the best cleaners.
So the setup could be Desmond appearing on the scene and deducing which of his messy ‘regulars’ did this one and he all have nicknames for each of them.
One of them is super good at his job that Desmond just have to take care of the body most of the time. That one he calls “the light of my life” because it means a quick easy job then Desmond can just chill somewhere and see the sights until he’s called again.
Another one is someone who always has to chase their target and dear god, Desmond wants to strangle this operative so badly because Desmond has to clean up multiple places and that includes CCTVs used by the local government for the roads and such. That one he calls ‘the bane of my existence’.
The funny thing?
Both operative are the same person: Altaïr who seesaw between absolutely the best or having a bad day that can only be summed up as “the universe is conspiring against him to get some cardio today”.
Of course, there’s a lot more operatives that Desmond cleans after.
There’s one that liked to actually steal shit and Desmond just usually make that a burglary gone wrong most of the time.
There’s another operative who may or may not have a dog that he uses to rip apart his target and Desmond always prays the scene is somewhere outside so he can just make it look like a wild animal attack and always hate it whenever it happens in an office building or anywhere indoors to be completely honest.
There’s another one that tries to be sneaky but that only makes Desmond’s life harder because he has to make sure to look everywhere just to be sure that the sneaky operative didn’t miss or fuck up somewhere.
In other words, Desmond has a lot of complaints for his regular operatives XD
#murder cleaner desmond#two ideas for the ‘price’ of one#lol#yes#i am basing altaïr’s part#on how ac1 assassinations can be super sneaky#or would lead to chasing the targets everywhere XD#ask and answer#assassin's creed#desmond miles#fic idea: assassin's creed#teecup writes/has a plot#i guess i can tag#altaïr ibn la'ahad#too since i did name him specifically XD
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I don't normally post schoolwork, but I wanted to share this one - the project was to make a fake magazine cover, table of contents, and an article spread!
Big big big thanks to @paper-mario-wiki for the pull quote! ♥
#i guess i can tag#balatro#homework#adobe indesign#there's probably like 15 things wrong with it but oh well
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you're allowed to discuss and work together, reblog for a higher sample size or something
You have 1 week, good luck!
#neo.txt#girl idk i don't really care about tagging#challenge#ig#i'll just let y'all do this on your own#if 10 people join then that works#but the more people join the more likely you are to succeed#i just wanna sit back and see what you all do#and if you can succeed#(twitter is failing)#tumblr even poll challenge#i guess i'll name it this!
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[Tim and Jason watching Dick as he fakes his death for a mission]
Tim: Man, he really is peak pretty boy
Jason: Right? Like, stop serving while you’re dying. It’s disrespectful.
Tim: For real, like, at least YOU had your priorities straight.
Jason: Exactly, I—
Jason:
Jason: Now hold up just a second—
Tim: I mean, you looked like shit when you died
Jason: THE FUCK, TIM????
#ten seconds later:#Tim: *running for his life* I THOUGHT DEATH JOKES WERE FINE NOW#Jason: ONLY IF YOU CAN BACK IT THE FUCK UP#Tim: bet#ten minutes later:#Tim: see????? fuckin’ told you#Jason: damn okay I guess#Jason: hang on how did you get these pictures#Tim: I thought we were past this#incorrect quotes#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#batfam#I should probably stop putting so much content in my tags#but it’s just too much fun
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I'm knitting in the corner at a party
and guys my age stop by to tell me I remind them of their aunt, of their grandmother. This is a compliment and I take it as such. They confess to having tried crochet once, and I smile. They get back in line for the bathroom.
I'm knitting in the corner at a party and a queer woman sits on the floor next to me, arranges her skirt, and smiles up at me. (I try not to blush.) She asks me all the questions on her mind about my craft and I answer them, hands still moving. We swap yarn sources. She doesn't stay, but she knows where to find me.
I'm knitting in the corner at a party and everyone knows where to find me when they need a minute, when socializing is too much and the music is too loud and they need to catch their breath. They pretend to be checking in on me, which is sweet, but I can see the relief in their eyes the moment they stop performing for a house full of people. They sit down and tell me things and all the while they never take their eyes off my hands.
The party has wound down and I'm still knitting and the hosts, two guys in their twenties, thank me for "helping to curate the vibe." I had no idea that's what I was doing. I leave the party having forgotten to drink anything and without that woman's number but with many rows added to my top-down raglan sweater. I call it a night, and a good one.
#knitting#knitblr#poetry#tagging this with poetry feels ridiculous#but oh well#anyway this is a true story#or technically two true stories smushed into one#i sent this to one of the guys who hosted the party and he said “this is really nice” like twenty times#and then he thanked me again for helping to curate the vibe#anyway i feel like those of us who do it know the kind of impact that knitting in public can have#but i guess it wasn't until i was reflecting on this party that i realized it could be used to create a safe space#if you will#okay that's enough tags#anyway i hope you enjoy#bon appetit#etc#UNEDITED BTW SO BE NICE#please
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'Yuu!'
#twst#twisted wonderland#art#ram's art#ace trappola#deuce spade#twst grim#twst yuu#haha hey what if i drew something self-indulgent--#something something yuu's leaving and they cant come back and the first years arent too happy 'bout it lol#i would have drawn the other first-years but. i couldnt fit them properly so. oops#felt like doing something simple but still fun to draw lol#i try not to post any of my 'angst' stuff but#yea#anyways im such a sucker for the first years caring about each other - ('specially the original trio of yuu ace and deuce)#i am also a big ol grim fan - i love that he cares about us in his own silly way#if you've read my tags so far - can you guess the song i was listening to on loop whilst drawing this lmao#(to narrow it down it's in pro/ ject sekai :] )#(hoping it wont show up in that game's tags lol)
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Honestly, no one is doing it like Vinsmoke Sanji. He's royalty. He's homeless. He's a convicted criminal. He is a damsel in distress. He's a knight in shining armor. He takes down the Government at 10 am then makes a Bouchée à la reine from scratch at 11. He has the empathy of a buddhist monk in the Himalayas. He will beat up a 90 year old. He has never given a fuck, he cant sleep at night cz of how much he cares. He is a ballerina. He sets his legs on fire. He is a slut. He is a virgin. He is a feminist He is a pervert. He's a fashion icon. He wears Alexander McQueen suits to the beach. He has never known happiness. God has personal beef with him.
#no one can be you CUNTJI#his duality his consistency#let's go kingji#One piece kinda goated with this king#one piece sanji#black leg sanji#vinsmoke sanji#sanji#one piece#hmm i can see the tags where many of yall are saying sanji isnt a vinsmoke#i havent really reached that far in the show im starting impel down next so idk all ik is it's supposed to be his family name#so im guessing his family is fucked up thats why u ppl are so worked up im not surprised tho all sexy ppl have problematic families#kuroashi no sanji
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too many valentines ❤️!!
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtv art#amc iwtv#should i tag every ship and character 🤧#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#the vampire armand#nicki de lenfent#loustat#nickistat#lesmand#you can guess the rest#the vampire chronicles#chunkii art
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i made this fuckass table in spore [2008]
#its 12 am#can i consider this art? should i be putting this in my art tag? i mean its my blog i can do what i want#distant gaylaxies#fanart i guess?????????#fanart of. fuckass table#spore#<- literally forgot to tag this as spore at first what am i DOING
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I think everyone should take note of the storytelling in the Ithaca premiere during luck runs out
#just imagining a stock slap sfx#also Jorges fucking wink was on beat im crying#epic the ithaca saga#epic the musical#caxtras#epic odysseus#epic eurylochus#I GUESS I CAN TAG THEM???#The premiere was fucking gold btw this was a fun ride & im happy for the cast & crew :3#dont expect more epic shtiposts/general content on this account tho there will be none#also this was /j
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Thoughts ond the new web comic for ac black flag?
Someone in the Kenway bloodline is a whore and I hope the plot twist is it isn’t Edward but Haytham. XD
Okay, so in all seriousness, Edward Kenway is like the 2nd poster boy of Assassin’s Creed and it shows. Before this webtoon, there was also a manga called Assassin’s Creed Black Flag: Kakusei (usually translated as ‘Awakening’) and it is considered as noncanon (where the descendant is a half-Japanese student that's Edward's descendant from his mother's side) while the webtoon seemed to be considered to be canon.
So for the webtoon, I have dipped my feet in the high seas and all I could find was the Indonesian version for the 1st chapter so I can’t be sure of what’s happening but the main character is a descendant of Edward Kenway and this is set after Black Flag.
Which is a bit weird as the ending of Black Flag made it clear that Edward was returning to England with Jenny but it’s highly possible that Edward is in that time period where he’s looking for Isu related artifacts and temples for the Brotherhood (which included the temple in Alamut).
I always assumed that Edward had that adventure after Haytham was born as noted in AC wiki though but, because this webtoon is supposed to be canon and set after Black Flag, it's highly possible it must have taken the genetic memory of Edward Kenway from the main character and one of the plot points is that Edward would have a love interest in this one and the main character is a descendant of Edward and that love interest.
Because if they were using Desmond Miles' genetic memory, the Edward Kenway portions of the webtoon must happen between late 1722 - early 1725 (at most 8~10 months before December). In other words, before Haytham is conceived.
If they were using the main character's genes though, it's free game 'cause I won't be surprised if Edward cheated on someone like Tessa Kenway. (cheating is bad though so please don't)
Now, one could argue, “maybe they’re using Edward’s remains like what Layla did?” and yes, that’s a possibility. Just because the main character is a descendant does not mean Abstergo is using his actual genetic memory to access Edward’s memories. For all we know, he’s being used to get a high synchronization rating using the DNA from Edward's remains.
So I guess we’ll just have to see where this goes.
But the most important thing:
The fuck is this? Is that supposed to be Altaïr and Ezio???
Are you guys telling us he’s also the descendant of Altaïr and Ezio?! Because I call bullshit on that. This would mean that this dude would have had to have a similar genetic makeup to Desmond unless you’re going to say “oh, the Altaïr genes came from Darim not Sef, don’t worry”. One of the main points in AC is that Desmond is the only known descendant of Auditore AND Ibn-La'Ahad blood (until Elijah). If the main character has the same bloodline as Desmond, then dear god, Minerva’s gonna grab this innocent bystander and drag him to the Grand Temple to be sacrificed instead of Desmond.
Or is this another case of “we thought that Ezio was Altaïr’s descendant, oops!” that I’ve seen in two different official Japanese AC booklet???
Although...
So wild wild theory...
Absolutely not gonna happen...
The age of the main character is a bit of a mystery but if this is set in 2023 and he's around mid teens to at most 19, he could be another one of Desmond's kids. 20 is pushing it and anything beyond that though would be, uuuhhh, possible but you don't wanna think about that.
#i swear if this dude has the same ancestors as desmond down to sef and ratonhnhaké:ton#i mean i’m not gonna riot#but fuck you ubisoft#i’m sorry i got ‘passionate’ at the end#this is what happens when your chosen one’s chosen one status is wack af#ask and answer#assassin's creed#i guess i can tag#edward kenway#and since i rant about him#desmond miles#i said minerva#but i mean me#i am willing to sacrifice this dude to keep our desmond alive
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was bored at work so i made a collage
#is it fair to call this a collage? not sure but i saw a cool artist i follow do something similar and i was like yeah why not#I guess i can just paint over it to define some details too#also the gradient map was necesary imo it looked weird without it#not sure how to tag this lol#my art#?#collage#??#character design#monster#creature#wgd
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any tiger zoro fans?
#one piece#one piece fanart#zoro#roronoa zoro#zoro one piece#zosan#zosan one piece#tiger zoro#i guess#i could tag it as furry art but i wont#dont want to give off an impression im a furry artist#because i am not#i barely can draw animals#tigers are fun tho
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cool new life series! very serious very dramatic!
#mcyt#life series#life series spoilers#oh god i actually need to tag this as real life. sorry to any fans of. the real world i guess#real life#real life smp#grian#grian fanart#impulsesv#impulsesv fanart#solidaritygaming#solidaritygaming fanart#smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#goodtimeswithscar#goodtimeswithscar fanart#wotchart#can you believe they ALL died in that mineshaft. except for jimmy.#fastest i've ever scrambled to draw and post a fanart#haven't even drawn half these people before
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is it something? i just had a basic human urge to draw grian with sunflowers. anyway who opened the jar with the Watchers???
#trafficblr#grian#grian fanart#goodtimeswithscar#gtws fanart#goodtimeswithscar fanart#desert duo#??? i guess i can tag this. anyway have a good day
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[Part 1] [Part 2] [PART 3]
Xbralis as the first canon dbhc pairing with the steel chair!
#dbhc#dbhc art#hermitcraft#hermitcraft au#hermitcraft s10#dbhc keralis#keralis#dbhc xb#xbcrafted#xb#dbhc bdubs#bdubs#bdoubleO100#xbralis#dbhc xbralis#YAYYY SHIP TAG#art escapades#i know it's probably obvious but i thought it would be so funny if we've got all of this build up for the massive ships#ie ethubs and grumbo and ranchers and docsuma#and then. hi this is canon. anyway LKJGSLDKJFG#BDUBS IS ALSO SHOCKED#but for everyone also guessing that this is the first time bdubs is realizing a human can be in a relationship with an android:#i can assure you nothing has stopped bdubs from. erm. entertaining such an idea in his head but that WOULD be SO FUNNY
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