#both in person and online

[littlemouserat]

It sucks having a 'everyone hates you' mindset, cause you know realistically it's not true, but little insignificant things reinforce that thought.

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

I LOVE hearing nice things gossiped about people behind their backs. Around a year ago, I offhandedly mentioned a former classmate who was going into grad school to a professor, (because he'd recommended I take her class) and she was like "oh, he's working in my lab!" and proceeded to say a lot of very nice things about how smart and good at his job he was. Today I met up with that guy and a couple other friends, and when the professor came up in conversation, we managed to talk for like five minutes about how smart and good at her job she was. So now the circle is complete, I guess.

[that1notetaker]

I don't know How To People. Please someone tell me How To People

[sagehaubitze]

sometimes I wonder and get a little scared that if I fell off the face of the internet, no one would think about me, I'd cease to exist. the internet is bad about having no object permanence after all (not just the internet, but in-person communities too in my experience)

but then I remember that I wonder about people I used to talk to on AIM, yahoo messenger, beseen chatrooms, in the 90s.. I think about them all the time and hope they're still out there doing okay.

[rheakira]

I've come to temporarily break my hiatus to bring up something deeply important. Because after a recent event, if I have to go another day without talking about it, I don't know what I'll do.

Fandoms have an enormous issue when it comes to bigotry and people feeling comfortable enough to be openly bigoted.

And I want to make it clear: everyone is capable of it. In fact, most people do it more often than they don't. But because this strange myth has been built up that if you aren't "blatantly saying slurs" or "killing others" it can't possibly be bigotry, we have done nothing but become dangerous behind closed doors.

If your friend has odd beef with a person of color in the fandom and holds them to standards they don't hold their white friends to, that is bigotry. If your friend feels some sort of way about the trans person in your friend group and tries to come up with reasons for why they specifically can't stay, that is also bigotry. If your group insists that a person with a personality disorder is making it up just for attention and uses that as a reason for why they can't be around them, that is bigotry as well.

I've never been upfront about it because... why do I, as a human being, need to be upfront about my identity when people randomly decide what I am? But I am in fact a person of color who is queer and disabled. Whenever I join a fandom group that is mostly white people, I am liked until this is discovered. And then I watch as people get brutal about things I do or say. Things that they don't do to other people in the group, and I also watch as they take my words and either twist them for convenience or ruin my reputation for it.

As a marginalized person, both in fandom and out, you are held to a unique standard that does not apply to other human beings around you. It makes doing what you love very difficult, because unfortunately as a marginalized person, people will always subconsciously side with the person trying to oppress or attack you. This has happened to me my entire life, from school to work spaces to even internet spaces claiming to be safe places.

People will say that they care about you and like you and even form a friendly bond with you, but the moment a person of privilege decides they do not like you very much, they can and will side with the other person even without proof of their issues with you. It's exhausting and ruins lives in places that should be fun and safe.

I am on my umpteenth experience with this exact cycle and I would be lying if I said it didn't make me feel like I couldn't live or breath in places I should be allowed to be involved in. It's a very real problem that refuses to end because no one has the courage to challenge it. I am speaking not only on my own experiences, but for the many other people of color or queers or disabled people who simply cannot join these so called "safe spaces" because of our identities conflicting with people who have been taught that we are lesser and not worth love or care.

If this is a problem you face, please know that I see you and I love you. It's hard to keep surviving in a world that wants to hurt you and leaves you abandoned and alone. I want you to know that the world is scary, but we all exist. You should be allowed to experience joy and fun without feeling like you're being suffocated and wanting to die.

You matter. The people around you that make you feel like you don't are nothing by comparison. You matter and I truly hope that we'll one day find each other and become the safe space that we deserve.

The marginalized people in your fandom are more important than your fictional characters and plotlines that you put above us. We're here and we're not leaving. Learn to live with us and protect us.

If we're truly your friends, you would care when your privileged "friends" want to remove us.

Additionally, please do not take this rant and make it only about white people who are part of these marginalized categories. This is a post about EVERYONE. Including the people of color around you. Do not remove us from this conversation. Care about ALL OF US if you support this at all. Thank you.

[nottodayupstarts]

Azula in Fandom

I really did love Azula. She's one of the most fascinating characters in ATLA: brilliant, terrifying, powerful, tragic, and deeply flawed. I loved that the show let her be complicated without ever pretending she wasn’t dangerous.

And I still love her, but honestly, some parts of the fandom have made it harder. Watching people erase her harm, excuse everything she did, or attack others for acknowledging her complexity doesn’t make her look better, it just makes real conversations about her impossible. Azula was compelling because she was broken, cruel, vulnerable, and human all at once.

Flattening her into a untouchable girlboss or a misunderstood victim that just wanted the best doesn't honor that story, it kinda cheapens it.

I’m still rooting for her character, and I always will be. But if I'm honest, it feels like my love for her has faded a little, not because of who she is, but because of how some of her fans behave (NOT ALL FANS, by no means all fans, but a loud enough *few* who excuse abuse, downplay harm, and treat disagreements about her online like I just killed their puppy in front of their eyes).

It's just kinda sad seeing something I cared about get twisted into something uglier  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[jasperthejester]

me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to

my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can

me:

[goldetrash]

Have you ever drawn Goth or the other hordes of children Geno and Reaper have? Who are your favorites?

Yeah i have actually– though i kid you not the art I have for Goth is from the most unlikely place you would ever find it 😭😭😭

I was an admin for this Afterdeath amino group and I was like- the shop person so like made a whole ass shop interface with Goth

I even had the dedication to make a text only version of the shop for people who had phones that couldn't handle images 💔

I'm pretty sure I used this gif of Goth I made for stuff underconstruction too. Golde in 2019 before the pandemic was actually so cracked rauhhh (I only had these photos to archive the entire thing before I left amino 4 good)

[tomialtooth]

Adler is a dog guy because he loves the obidence, affection and deference dogs show their masters regardless of how they are treated. A dogs owner is their entire world, they are reliant on them for everything and this is probably appealing for Adler and his need for control. Having a dog strokes his ego both because a dog is obedient and affectionate to it's master, which Adler thinks he is owed and because it affirms his sense of American masculinity. Adler would be one of those dog people that hate cats because you have to respect a cat's boundaries in order for it to love you and you can't control them like you can dogs. Adler likes Bell for the same reason he likes dogs.

[lily-claw]

couldn't finish it on day bc of my essay homework but hey at least tsu-chan is finished-

Happy b-day Tsu-chan!

[cloudinal]

Cat birthday (2) !

[jakeperalta]

taylor calling out a nyt article about her sexuality is cool good for her I guess but I am begging her and her people to stop throwing "this wouldn't happen to a man" at literally everything... like sometimes that is.. not the point

[matteoberrettini]

genuinely hilarious btw how people on twt want soo bad to make matteo a villain in jannik's story or some shit like it's a disney movie. less than a month ago he said they'd talked recently and he's never had anything but good things to say about jannik but to some people it'll never be enough because he made a decision for his career that i understand is hard to digest but it has nothing to do with his relationship with jannik, jannik himself said it doesn't bother him, they both have never indicated they weren't on good terms. like yeah we can't ever really know the truth behind what they say in public, but i think we should stick with what we can see and read, yeah? because making wild assumptions based on nothing doesn't lead to anything good, it's just speculation and i don't see what anyone gains from it?? i think maybe some people need to grow up and accept that they don't know these people. they don't know jannik and what he thinks or feels or who he talks to or who avoids him or whatever. we know what he shows and tells us and that has to be enough because otherwise we go down dangerous paths

[froggiethelesbian]

There’s something so intimate with seeing another disabled person in public. I was walking down the street with a friend to a cafe, my red cane in hand. Coming down from the opposite street was a young women with her friend. I saw her bedazzled cane, covered in stickers and art then looked up to her eyes. She had been looking at my cane, covered head to toe in stickers, before looking up to me. We both smiled and kept walking.But with no words spoken there was a message.

“You’re just like me. We are both here, living our lives, walking with a friend like everyone else. We exist, not just online but here in person, we are not alone.”

[barghest-land]

just wanted to say thank you to everyone for support, nice comments and interest in what i do! my life has been extremely shitty for the past few years and still is, so i appreciate all the attention to me and my works. sorry if i don't respond here and there, i don't have much energy to reply to all things, but i see and appreciate them. thank u 💙

[lovesodeepandwideandwell]

🏘️