#im that autistic-like sure fine
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I don't know How To People. Please someone tell me How To People
#BOTH IN PERSON AND ONLINE#I NEED A MAP#I NEED DATA#AND NOTES#I HAVE! NOTES#I USED TO WRITE NOTEBOOKS ABOUT EVERYONE AND THEIR CHARACTER TRAITS TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE BETTER BECAUSE THEYRE CONFUSING#IM NOT JOKING#I HAD TO READ MY TEACHER'S PAGE DURING HER CLASS PERIOD ONCE#SHE WAS LIKE 'eh#'wasnt spot on but good try'#once i went to the toilets and when I came back my notebook was GONE#Turned out my class was just. passing it through class#I didnt mind#im that autistic-like sure fine#I dont think my ntebooks are weird even if they probably are to everyone else go ahead#someone left me a sticker#what was the point of this#PEOPLE#SOMEONE HELP#Note says things#not an art post
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I'm sorry everytime I read a post that's talking about nuerodivergent acceptance they always throw in "you wouldn't expect a Wheelchair user to be magically okay when given a WheelChair" or "people wouldn't tell a cane user to 'just walk' so be kind to yourself! "
And I love the energy, I know what the mean. But everytime I see them i think about that one stupid ass tiktok where someone was complaining about the stigma of wearing cat ears in public and said "imagine if people got mad at men in dresses bc it Could be a fetish"
Like yeah girl, IMAGINE
#i know this sounds mean#but like so often#they just repeat actual ableism that happens all the time#that they assume wouldnt bc They are a good person#like yeah people so assume you get a mobility aid and are fine now??#in fact they often want you to try and do it Without the Aid#im autistic#my bf is audhd + smt else we arent sure#and both physically disabled#so shut the fuck up idk#cripple punk#cripplepunk
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Gold and Silver are good kids and Gold likes to show up unannounced to Lance's house post-game to bother Silver and Silver is like 'ugh great just what I need a loud annoying weirdo' but they are neither loud nor annoying while they hang out they just quietly sit on the floor reading magazines abt pokemon or playing video games and sometimes Gold will shove something in Silver's face like 'WHOA CHECK THIS OUT' and Silver will be like 'can you quiet down. What stupid thing could possibly get you that excited' as if he wouldn't also be equally excited about the very cool article about Sharpedo Gold just found
#spitblaze says things#i just thing gold and silver are two different flavors of neurodivergent#gold has the overactive adhd kind and had issues w volume and impulse control#silver has the quiet (traumatized) autistic kind where he basically makes his way thru life by playing 4d Social Expectation chess#v good at masking. unfortunately his mask is aggression#gold doesnt care hes hot garbage with social cues too but makes zero effort to mask or compensate#its fine tho they both have the same special interest. Pokemon#(also gold makes a very good compression stim. silver will just be like 'will you lay on me please' and gold is like 'sure thing buddy :)'#and theyre just like that. on the floor. like cats. clair doesnt really know what to make of it but silver doesnt seem bothered#so its probably fine)#pokemon#preciousmetalshipping#(i mean i guess lol. either way they are Best Fwiends)#trainer gold#rival silver#idk why im so invested in these two. johto isnt even in my top 5#pokemon gsc
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mannn being hyper fixated on dndads means that I haven't had a little high int low wis autistic nerd to project on for like . two years . that's so fucked man . you're gonna look me in my eyes and tell me you have three seasons and not one single weird little brainiac who is the biggest dumbass you've ever seen . the closest I've got here is nicholas . and I love him *so* much but he exists for like 4 episodes . maybe Terry but like . that's *all* fanon Terry . he isn't like that in canon . I've been starving out here you guys .
#just blahs#if anyone comes on here and says anything about not liking nicholas im killing you btw#anyways#methinks that's why im latching onto campaign one of rwd so hard now#bcs theyve got TWO of those fuckers in there#god those kinds of characters are fucking drugs to me#and brother im about to relapse after two years of being clean#vr la rwd save me#save me dani rwd#listen as a weird little smartass autistic who is a fucking dumbass when it comes to anything else#it is vital to my survival to have a guy I can think about when im dying out here ok#blaming the dndads hyperfixation for me struggling so bad this last year#surely if idve had a Guy to think about going through this exact thing i would've been fine#i wouldntve#but i mightve written more fanfic
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my mom: ur not autistic, stop
also her: describes aspects of my childhood that r v obvious signs of autism
#autism#im 99.99999% sure im autistic#asd#autism spectrum disorder#actually autistic#autistic things#autistic adult#like srsly shed be like#“oh yea when u were a toddler u used to spin alot and even when u fell u got back up to spin again”#or#“whenever u fell u used to cry alot even tho u were physically fine”#“ur a v picky eater”#botch those r autistjc traits???#jus bc i didnt have obvious “meltdowns” dont mean shit#also i hate callin them “meltdowns” bc its literally jus a fuckin breakdown due to sensory overloads like 99% of the time#also i was apparently diagnosed w “pure laziness” as a kid despite the fact that i did a majority of wut i was told#im sorry that child me couldnt help but piss the bed bc of anxiety??? like that loterally a sign of childhood anxiety but nope#i was “too smart” 🙄#“you cant be autistic ur in the gifted program”#bjtch stfu all gifted kids r neurodivergent
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omg the cute autistic/mutual friend at the party I was talking ab way back just moved into our building!!! I legit ran into him omw in and exchanged instas he is SO adorable and cute and I love him like I just wanna be around him so like tf I am SO HAPPY
#im not sure the post is even still up but me n my friends were just having a casual gettogether and i met him n my post was talking ab how#im glad no annoying autsitics have been introduced to me yet bc ive already met like 3 and theyre all either like#smart autistics or adorable autistics or interesting autistics and i have a crush on two of them including the cute autistic this post is ab#like im so HAPPY omg im gonna bug him so much its weird bc idk what u call the type of crush where its like im not searching for romance#but i will do anything to be in ur prescense bc i know id enjoy being friends or partners or whatever the fuck involves KNOWING YOU#idk lol#yutamayo is starting the day off right (#(its 3:47pm)#at the party we were playing Detroit Become Human anf he seems to also be a hyperfixation/skilled autistic bc he SLAYED at the game i just#enjoyed watching him speedplay at that point#and everyone was ig close enough with him to call him by a semiracist nickname bc hes indigenous n his last name wad apparently too long#so i was like NOPE and made sure to spell it out and resay it so i could say his last name properly instead of his nickname#im noy shading them bc its fine to have a close friend thing where ur able to have a joking nickname ab a characteristic like my bestie#calls me “it” sometimes and thats not something i dislike bc we KNOW each other and its the opposite of malicious intent#but yeah i wad likr nah id prefer to know how to say it#then it was like 3am anf there was only like 4ppl left n he was like yeah i gotta go bavk home to whitby apparently he was just gonna#use the electric scooters they have around town but thats like 30min away in the mf a.m#n he didnt wanna crash on our couch which isfine n everyone else was like mkay bye bc yhey wanted to sleep#n i was like NOPE and hunted down bus fare n waited with him at the bus stop for the night bus n made sure he got on it then never saw him#again#until#today#god fucking bless#*introduced to 3 autistics not 3 annoying autistics the post was ab how im gkad i havent met an annoying autistic in my buikding yet*
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disability medical review today. <- so nervous theyre nauseous.
#itll be fine. itll be fine.#im p sure its just the mental review today but still.#im scared im gonna be ''too put together'' for an autistic person who supposedly has ptsd but i can probably just talk about my family for#like. 2 minutes. and they will understand.#<- guy whos made every therapist hes ever had cry. lol#whatever. whatever. itll be fine. itll be fine.
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Ok I actually love hazel she’s great she’s like blunt I love her hope she shows up more
#this is genuine btw I’m happy for them ((:#they’re like different types of autistic im sorry for saying it I make everything into autism related#I need more autism please#the suckening#the Suckening spoilers#hope I don’t need to put the jrwi in it I’m sure it’s fine tho
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working w autism deserves some kind of award bc the amount of times managers will say "do (vague thing)" with absolutely 0 clarification and so much room for interpretation and then get mad when u interpret it wrong but actually they should have added some details...... insane
#'make sure your area is mopped' okay I thought I was#and so then I extended where I mopped bc im like I guess this other area is my area#AND HE'S STILL LIKE. NO YOU NEED TO MOP OVER HERE TOO#an entirely different area that's nowhere near where I work#and like if I'm responsible for that area getting mopped that's so fine but TELL ME WHAT MY AREA IS THEN????#like if it's not where I'm working TELL ME WHAT MY AREA TO MOP IS..... God#and that's just today's example I have endless bc I've been working while autistic for 6 years kms
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seriously though, where's the line between "don't care what others thing" and "maybe the problem is you and you need to change something" ???????? WHICH ONE IS IT?!?!?!?? i'm so lost and confused
#if you dont care about other peoples thoughts and feelings about you and end up alone and woth no opportunities is it a them problem#or is it time to accept its a you problem because at that point its affecting your life negatively right??????#so when does it become time to figure out what people think and accept you need to change something????#any time i talk about things like this im just told “dont care what they think/find people who accept you” BUT I HAVE BEEN DOING THAT#why am i still alone and disliked by everyone?!?!!? obviously not caring doesnt work....#unless you want me to not care that other people dont care about ME and pretend everything is perfect and fine#and not care that im very much alone with no support system and no chance for opportunities in life?????? sure let me just become a hermit#i'll he a recluse in a forest away from society and never speak to another human again then die cause i can't take care of myself fhfdhjrrje#if thats not what people mean and what they want then i jist dont get it#lee rants#actually autistic
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IT HAS TAKEN ME FUCKING YEARS BUT IM FINALLY ABLE TO ACCESS THIS GODAWFUL ACCOUNT. i dont apologize for any inactivity and im surely not making a comeback, personally i’d like to forget this fucking blog ever existed. but im back nonetheless to give a life update or closing statement before i log out and finally live my life peacefully or smthn.
1. im not like this anymore. jesus christ. fortunately i’ve matured as a person now that i’m nearly 18 years old and i actually understand bungo stray dogs now.
2. nothing on here reflects who i am now. i fucking hate soukoku. i hate sskk. i hate bsd ships. i think a lot of the jokes on here were in poor taste and the whole schtick was character inaccurate… it was definitely fun at the time, but, alas, it is not that time anymore.
3. i have a new tumblr tjat u should probably go follow instead of this one if u ever want to see content from me. @nouveauxamoris 👍🏽
4. this has no relevance to anything else im just spreading my propaganda . chuuya nakahara is a trans woman . dazai osamu is a transmasc lesbian. dazai and chuuya have the exact same relationship dynamic as branch and his sleazy older brother from trolls. skk yaoi was never real and i no longer pretend like it was
#Im free from my shackles#no lomger held down by my haunting past that is awkward-dazai on tumblr dot com#nobody should have ever let me have access to tumblr at god knows how old i was when i made this#i promise im normal now#Not really#ive just learned how to be media literate and have gotten progressively more autistic abt bsd#I also realized that bsd ships kinda suck and really i shouldve jsut embraced my true nature instead#selfshipping. I wanted dazai osamu. I want him real bad. And now i self ship.#word of advice from your good old friend amoris awkward dazai#your enjoyment of anything media related will definitely improve once you embrace self shipping#you can do tjat. Its fine. nobody can stop you. be free#awkward-dazai#i hope u guys had fun w this blog im pretty sure i did#i loathe it now but it was 13 year old me’s pride and jou#i want it to become lost media so i can pretend like it never existed but#alls well that ends well or some bullshit like that#happy 2024 guys
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retaking the AQ and RAADS-R because it’s been a while and you don’t think you’re autistic because “everyone does that” and getting unreasonably high scores and getting confused
#like???#i just have anxiety and sensory issues i swear#sure a lot of the things causing that anxiety can be linked to autistic traits but im not so it’s fine#im fine#just got that dog in me#that dog is autism#autism#autistic experiences
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Its healthy for my tolerance muscles to be around young lgbt folks who make jabs n japes abt the lack of knowledge from other ppl abt lgbt topics n issues...when they themselves are clearly pretty uniformed
#like i was the same lol#but like making fun of Ellen n nph being used in a kahoot question like#n then bringing up 'oh wow haven't these ppl watched orange is the new black'#it is not in fact tht much better to make laverne the only trans person in media#neway im fine but damn being around kids sure is sth#like im just tired of the same shit being parroted for essentially a decad now#itbwas fine for the first five years but now? im too autistic to withstand boringness n repetition#its like bringing the same criticism to love simon tht you would've the year it came out#xxaso
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Thinking about how amazing my parents actually were at accommodating my autism when i was a kid even tho they didnt explicitly realise that's what they were doing
Like even when i got past the age where it was deemed normal to still have 'fits' or stim the way i did
#When i got overstimulated and had an autistic meltdown (usually after social events) my dad would just be like.. 'too much? Yeah. Let's go'#And then just sit somewhere quiet while i drank my lil drink and sucked on my thumb for a while#He knew he didnt have to ask like WHAT HAPPENED. WHY ARE YOU CRYING. or whatever#It was like yeah alright u have reached ur limit! Let's sit for a while and calm down#And no one in my family ever tried to stop me from stimming when i was a kid#Even tho other adults deemed i was 'too old' to suck on my thumb and carry around a blanket#Like yeah i was 10 but my family knew how important it was!#Im looking back at old pictures and in 90% of them im happily stimming!#That's honestly so nice#Like okay sure maybe things wouldve been better if we had a diagnosis#But.. All things considered: my autistic ass family was pretty good at making me feel fine
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Op be like
so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.
the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.
i had like, fifteen raw eggs.
i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.
except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.
so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.
#this wholw tjing made me laugh so fucking hard#i’m allergic to eggs and was talking w my fiance abt this post#and thus learned there is a secret third part to the egg#wjich is the white#which is not rhe same thing as the yolk i’ve learned#but no im still so confused bc op if u see this pLS EXPLAIN#first question#did u just like expertly crack the egg above ur open jaw and let the yolk slide down your sinful throat#bc like u didnt plan to do this again surely u woulsnt dirty a bowl#but i aknowledbe that i am weirder than some and maybe some of u WOULD dirty a bowl for one egg#thwt would be fine#its not my bowl#but second questipn#are u autistic and if so i’ve literally never met an autistic person who likes slimey and so i was caucht off guard#cause the reason i thought u were eating them shells and all was#yknow. tism.#bc u said twxture and my stupid tism#brain was like Oh Yeah Autistics Like Me Love Us Some Texture#anyway pls get back in a timely manner /silly
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sigh
#also this is why these are the times that get me thinking about getting tested for autism again#because i seemingly cannot deal with any new social sitchies#because even thought technically i know that the museum trip itself would probably be chill the stuff surrounding it makes me ill#cause its over two days in a different city which in theory is fine but looking for a place to stay and having to like organize food#and getting there in the first place. and id still have to do a presentation for it#and some other stuff i procrastinated over this term so i could then write the paper and finish the module but i kind of already fucked it#by not attending another seminar id need to finish the module. because i forgot about it until later in the semester and then id have had to#email people and i couldnt? do it? apparently.#and then i get fixated on stupid shit for days on end and cant make myself think about anything else instead of doing uni work#but to circle back in my heart i actually know im not autistic. its perhaps something else or im just organically overwhelmed by being alive#and like i am really embarrassed by considering an autism assessment. online brained and not proud of it lmao#im sure theres typos in this please ignore. also if my sentences dont make sense im only half awake#pax posts
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