#both her and cristin are incredible

[graythursday]

i hope deirdre o'connell receives some noms for her performance as francis. she’s entirely captivating and steals every scene she’s in

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

The 20 Best Films of 2024 (And the 10 Worst)

I fucking love movies.

Most people following me know that on some level, but I haven’t really showcased that love in a long while. Over the past couple of years I felt really drained and unmotivated, and my review series I did all petered out. And it made me sad. I WANT to share my opinions, I WANT to talk about things I’m passionate about! So I decided about halfway through 2024 I was going to do something big to bring my blog back: Watch as many new releases from 2024 as possible so that I could make an end of year ranking of my favorite movies!

Since I decided to do this halfway through the year, it made watching the films I actually wanted to see fairly easy since everything was able to be pira—er, watched completely legally on various streaming platforms. Max and Prime were big helps, as was Netflix towards the end of the year when my wife got it for her yearly month-long binge of Christmas films. My only rule was that the film needed to have a wide release in 2024—a few films had festival screenings in previous years, but I counted them for the purposes of my list. This also, sadly, meant Better Man and Wallace & Gromit were ineligible (but they’ll likely be ion my 2025 list near the top).

I gave myself a little leeway and extended my deadline to mid January just so I could make sure I didn’t miss anything I really wanted to see, as well as so I could watch movies from other years. I managed to watch 77 newly released films, and while I didn’t get to see everything I wanted to I was incredibly happy with what I did see.

This was a really good year for queer films and horror. For the former, I watched four different movies with queer themes with three of them focusing on trans folks, and of those four three were extremely good! In fact, two of them made this list, and one that didn’t—The People’s Joker—is still a fantastic work that puts a fresh spin on well-worn characters while telling a coming-of-age story! With the latter, we just got some truly fun and inventive films that showcased what the genre can do in the hands of skilled filmmakers; even more flawed horror films like Late Night with the Devil and Alien: Romulus were still really good and fun, albeit held back by some glaring and often frustrating issues (CGI necromancy for the latter, AI generated image use and a shitty finale for the former).

Surprisingly, this was also a decent year for superhero cinematic universes, mainly because they all slowed the fuck down. Marvel released a single film—Deadpool & Wolverine—which managed to be a fun crowd-pleaser as well as releasing the wonderfully witchy Agatha All Along to Disney+. DC put out two shows this year, The Penguin for the Reeves elseworlds and Creature Commandos as the animated debut of the new main DC film universe’s continuity; the former is a fantastic crime drama full of excellent performances that gives one of the best portrayals of Batman’s most versatile villain yet seen, while the latter is a decent-but-nothing-too-special ultra violent animated series. Both studios are looking to have interesting futures, and at any rate they’re both doing way better than Sony, who not only gave us now news on Spider-Verse but also shat out the three worst films in their already abysmal cinematic universe. Honestly, I think creating a six film run in a cinematic universe where none of the movies are good is an incredible feat!

But most of all, this was a great year for women. Most of my favorite performances of the year came from immensely talented actresses giving it their all: Mikey Madison, Margaret Qualley, Kathryn Hahn, Aubrey Plaza, Anya Taylor-Joy, Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande, Lauren LaVera, Alisha Weir, Liza Soberano, Kathryn Newton, Naomi Scott, Willa Fitzgerald, Lupita Nyong’o, Kristen Stewart, Cristin Milioti… The Ladies were killing it this year. Three stand above all the others for me, however. The first is Zendaya who, between Dune and Challengers cemented herself as one of my favorite actresses; the second is Lily Rose-Depp, who with Nosferatu gave a performance so good it completely erased Yoga Hosers from my mind; and finally there is Demi Moore in The Substance, who gave the best performance of the whole year, hands down.

Before we get into the top 20, let me just give a brief rundown of my ten honorable mentions. If there wasn’t a 30 image limit, I probably would’ve covered these, but oh well. Lisa Frankenstein is a shockingly charming and macabre directorial debut from Zelda Williams and a welcome return to form for Diablo Cody; Blink Twice is a gripping psychological horror thriller dealing with themes like gaslighting, sexism, and wealthy tech bros abusing women (a very topical subject) and features perhaps the best performance of Channing Tatum’s career; Smile 2 is a wonderfully crushing downer of a horror film, with a fantastic lead performance from Naomi Scott; Trap is M. Night going full goofy with a black comedy about a serial killer who keeps rolling nat 20s on his persuasion checks; Rite Here Rite Now is a kickass concert film for the band Ghost with story bits interwoven, and features a Scooby-Doo homage music video for “Mary on a Cross,” finally embracing their role as goofy Scooby-Doo chase music; Juror #2 is a fantastic late-career film from Clint Eastwood that features a fantastic performance from Nicolas Hoult, though it unfortunately released in a year where the guy had even better performances; Strange Darling is a dark thriller told out of older that is incredibly stylish but maybe a bit too full of itself; Road House is an awesomely stupid remake that fully embraces the goofy spirit of the Swayze original while telling its own story, complete with cartoonish logic and fights; The Wild Robot is a great (but a bit overhyped) found family story; and Love Lies Bleeding is basically Drive for lesbians with macrophilia, fulfilling the sort of niche none of us knew existed but we should be thankful is around. I’d also like to shout out two contenders that would have been higher if not for glaring issues—Late Night with the Devil and Alien: Romulus. The former has numerous moments that break the immersion of its setup and an absolutely terrible finale, while the latter employs CGI to bring a dead actor back to life and leans far too heavily on nostalgia for much of the middle portion of the movie. Both are still really good, but their glaring issues hold them back.

Now, onto the main event! Keep in mind, this is all just my opinion and not the objective list of what's best and worst, and you're free to agree or disagree as you see fit:

20. The Fall Guy

I really loved Bullet Train and Deadpool 2 is a really solid superhero sequel that might actually be funnier than the original, so it’s safe to say David Leitch is a director I enjoy. Now, how about throwing in Ryan “Literally Me” Gosling instead of Brad “Wife Beater” Pitt as the lead and also throwing in Emily Blunt, Winston Duke, and giving Aaron Taylor-Johnson a chance to actually act? You’ve got yourself a fun, funny little stunt extravaganza. It doesn’t quite reach the highs of Bullet Train but it gets pretty close, and if nothing else it managed to convince me Kiss didn’t suck for the duration of its runtime (they play “I Was Made for Lovin’ You” about every five minutes, and it honestly rules every time).

19. I Saw the TV Glow

I sometimes worry I’m not going to be able to pick up on metaphors or allegories, no matter how obvious. I watch a lot of horror and superhero movies, y’know? Simple stuff. I worry it makes me too stupid. But I was able to fully grasp the trans allegory of this movie, and absolutely loved it and thought it enhanced the narrative. Justice Smith absolutely kills it here; the dude is great at playing mumbly autistic people uncomfortable in their own skin, and this is the peak of those roles. He absolutely sells the final, soul-crushing party scene at the end of the movie in a way few other actors could. Also Fred Durst is here, and while this seems a funny tidbit, he actually delivers a line that is so unbelievably brutal that it instantly made me hyper aware of the themes of the film. I actually passed out the first time I tried watching this film, and thought that it sucked because of it; as you can see, I’m glad I gave it a second chance.

18. Conclave

I was worried a stuffy drama about holy men vying to become the Pope would be boring, but boy am I glad to be proven wrong! This is a film that is mostly old men talking to each other, but they’re also scheming, plotting, and acting like bitchy mean girls as they try and become the next head of the Vatican. Ralph Fiennes puts in a fantastic performance here, and the film’s views on faith and religion are actually pretty relevant to me (someone who has a complicated view of religion). Throw in a jaw-dropping final twist and I can see why this film is so heavily hyped as an awards darling—though I don’t necessarily think it should win.

17. Abigail

I’m sure you all are aware of my love of vampires, especially vampires with a singular defining theme. I have created vampire OCs with gimmicks ranging from a lost cosmonaut vampire to a traumatized WWII veteran clown vampire to a former Cosa Nostra boss vampire to a vampire who’s the king of Atlantis… But let me tell you, the fact I somehow didn’t think of “Vampire ballerina” is something that will haunt me forever, especially when it was done so perfectly here. The titular vampire’s profession of choice is utilized amazingly in how she moves and kills, and it makes her one of the most unique and fun horror antagonists in recent memory. The fact the rest of the film is funny and engaging is icing on the cake, really.

16. A Different Man

I love movies that are character studies about people who are literally the fucking worst, and Sebastian Stan’s character here is a very interesting take on this. He’s a man who feels his deformity is what causes people to not like him, so he gets a procedure to make him ‘normal’… And then along comes a guy with the same issue as him (played by Adam Pearson) who is the fucking Rizz Master and who everyone loves. It turns out the whole time he just fucking sucked! Stan is absolutely great and proved to me he’s the real deal after multiple MCU projects where he bored me to tears, but Pearson is the one who steals the show here. He’s just an unbelievably charismatic figure, a real fun guy, and without him the film just absolutely wouldn’t work. How he keeps getting overlooked for awards is beyond me.

15. Megalopolis

Every single opinion you will hear about this film is correct. It’s great, it’s awful, it’s genius, it’s moronic… It has to be seen to be believed. I saw this for my birthday, expecting it to be a glorious trainwreck lovingly crafted by an aging auteur who saw this as their ultimate passion project… and that’s exactly what I got! I think every decade needs its own take on The Room, and this is that film if it had an even more insanely huge budget and a director who actually has genuine talent and some semblance of knowledge about how a film is supposed to be.

14. Terrifier 3

The Little Slasher Film That Could! A truly inspiring film, one that managed to make a massive profit despite being a grisly, gruesome splatter film the likes of which haven’t been seen since… well, since Terrifier 2 really. The plot is a bit weaker than its predecessor, but what it lacks in story strength it makes up for in buckets of blood and pitch-black comedy. David Howard Thornton gives his best turn yet as Art, cementing the demonic clown as a modern horror icon with an impressive physical performance.

13. In a Violent Nature

One of the year’s most polarizing films due to its concept: It is a slasher film that follows the killer as our POV, and that means lots of slow, methodical walks through the woods as he seeks his victims. There’s lots of lingering shots and slow pacing, feeling like a real-time hiking simulator… but there’s something so fresh and engaging about it, and when we finally get to the kills they are easily some of the best the slasher genre has seen in years. Does the ending car ride drag on maybe a bit longer than it should? Sure, but I still enjoyed it for fleshing out the film’s world a bit more while hammering home the themes. I think this might be one of the only slasher movies I could reasonably call a genuine work of art.

12. Deadpool & Wolverine

I’ll be the first to admit this is not a great movie; the story is basically nonexistent and everything that happens seems to be contrivances that exist so that Reynolds and Jackman can bounce off each other. But this isn’t a bad thing! Jackman wisely brings his A-game when he could have easily half-assed this role at this point, and Reynolds manages to squeeze out a few solid emotional moments from Wade Wilson. And while the film is a terrible sequel to the first two Deadpool movies, it is a wonderful Deadpool themed meta-commentary and tribute to the Fox Marvel films of the 2000s, movies that tended to suck ass and that most would find unworthy of respect. Not this film; it brings back characters like Johnny Storm and Elektra and uses them in fresh and funny ways that will make you feel at least a little something for that era of superhero cinema. This is a fun fanservice fest—and the perfect demonstration of why we don’t need any more after it, because they could never be as good as this.

11. Wicked

Yes, the lighting is bad and the direction isn’t exactly anything special. Let’s not give Jon M. Chu any credit for why this film is so high up. No, it is the absolutely stellar cast that carries this film, with Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande knocking it out of the park in their roles as Elphaba and Glinda. Their developing friendship feels sweet and genuine, and their songs all hit as hard as they should, with the “Defying Gravity” sequence easily being one of the year’s highlights despite the sun’s best efforts at ruining the moment. It’s just nice to see a fun, colorful, campy fantasy musical get this big. We need more like this.

10. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

It’s nice to see the world of Mad Max expanded and it’s even better to see how Furiosa became the woman she was in Fury Road, but the real star of the show here is Chris Hemsworth as Dementus. It is mind-boggling how good an actor he is when he gets to let loose, and this might genuinely be the best performance of his career. Just a damn good film, but what else can you expect from Miller? Its biggest flaw is it just isn’t as good as Fury Road—but what movie even is?

9. Transformers One

The trailers for this movie didn’t look particularly good, and the Transformers franchise had long lost any goodwill in my eyes, so this was a movie I fully expected to fly under my radar. But then along came a Twitter user who did nothing but hype this film up to the high heavens, and so I had to give it a shot… and boy am I glad I did, because this is easily the best animated movie I saw last year (I did not get a chance to see Flow or Memoirs of a Snail, which I’m sure are better movies). For the second time in the year Chris Hemsworth pulled off a shockingly great performance, but this was truly Brian Tyree Henry’s film; his performance as D-16 AKA Megatron is genuinely fucking amazing. He truly manages to sell the future Decepticon's fall from grace and make it believable while also managing to sell the friendship between him and Optimus before it all goes to shit. Easily the best film in the entire franchise so far.

8. Sonic the Hedgehog 3

Family films really didn’t get better than this one this year, a feat that is monumentally impressive when you remember this is the second sequel to a movie based off of a video game and that easily clears both of its predecessors. It is paced like its title character and isn’t quite as funny as the last two, but it’s much more tightly plotted, the action is incredible, and best of all the emotional story beats it pullls off with Shadow and his tragic backstory hit just as hard as they should. As perfect as Shadow is, the movie wouldn’t be half as good without Eggman and his interactions with Gerald Robotnik; Jim Carrey, the man who once refused to do sequels, managed to give two of the best performances of his career in one film, delivering a fantastic character arc with Ivo and his toxic yaoi with Agent Stone as well as the zaniness-masking-depravity of Gerald. An utter joy of a film, a joy only compounded when a certain song kicked in at the finale and my daughter turned to me with a big, excited grin. You can’t buy an experience like that.

7. Anora

You know all those movies about hookers with a heart of gold like Pretty Women, these live-action fairy tales where a sex worker is swept off their feet and saved from their situation by a rich guy who loves them? Well, this is the antithesis to those, a dark and realistic take on those very stories that still manages to be very funny thanks to strong performances across the board and excessive amounts of profanity. If Demi Moore wasn’t in the running, I would be throwing my full support to Mikey Madison for Best Actress, because she rules in this.

6. Heretic

I really, really love Hugh Grant. I love how he’s taken his charming leading man image and used it to play sleazy, conniving villains, weaponizing his established charisma to play the nastiest guys imaginable. And let me tell you, his performance here had me sympathizing with fucking Mormons. I think maybe the movie goes on a bit too long for its own good—there’s a point where I was thinking “Ok, I get it, can we please just wrap it up?”--but the fact this is so high on my list should tell you that I don’t think that really holds it back much.

5. Challengers

Tennis is not anything I give a shit about, but for the duration of this movie it was the actual coolest thing in the world. This is the tale of the world’s three most toxic people, and the ultimate tennis match that will decide their destiny all with the backstory of what led to that match woven in. Zendaya cemented herself as one of my favorite actors with this film, the cinematography is genuinely insane (there is a fucking tennis ball POV sequence!!!!), and Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross deliver one of their best scores yet… Why isn’t this film drowning in Oscars? How did it get snubbed this badly?

4. Nosferatu

Robert Eggers might be the greatest modern horror director. He has an impeccable sense of style, an attention to detail when it comes to historical accuracy that is genuinely insane, and the ability to always get the best cast imaginable for his films. Bill Skarsgård is unrecognizable as Orlok, a role that manages to surpass Pennywise in sheer vile wickedness, but it is in fact Lily Rose-Depp who gives the greatest performance of the film. She is truly the heart and soul of this movie, and showcases the sort of acting talent her father wishes he still possessed. This might be the first horror remake since the 80s that manages to surpass the original, though with that said there aren’t many surprises here. It knows how good the original story is, and doesn’t change too much. What it does add is crucial to the plot, though, especially showing us Orlok’s penis.

3. Dune: Part Two

I wasn’t the biggest fan of the first Dune. I liked it well enough, but it felt like a whole lot of setting up and not enough delivering. Well, guess what? This film delivered. Oh fucking boy did it deliver. Austin Butler debuts as Feyd-Rautha, one of the most badass and bloodthirsty villains ever put to film, and despite not getting the winged panties Sting had manages to steal the show and leave a lasting impression despite his brief screentime. But even better than that—but only by a little—is Timothee Chalamet’s Paul’s journey from a desperate hero trying to survive into a full-blown dark messiah who buys into his own hype and whips his followers into a frenzy. It is genuinely chilling seeing what he becomes, and it has me excited where the third and final film will take him. Also Christopher Walken is here. And worms. I really love big worms and Walken.

2. The Substance

People have tried so hard to apply deep meaning to this film and say it has complex moral themes. And sure, it does have strong morals and themes, but let’s not kid ourselves here: This is an R-rated Goosebumps episode. And that’s why it’s fucking amazing. It’s gross, it’s gory, it’s nasty, it’s ridiculous, it’s cartoonish, and it features Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley going all out with their performances. This film has one of the best third acts of the year, because while it does drag on quite a bit it continually gets crazier and crazier. This would easily take my top spot, but there’s one film that’s even better...

1. Hundreds of Beavers

I did not know what to expect when watching this. After hearing so many online reviewers like Schafrillas and YMS rave about it, I definitely was uncertain that I’d find this to be quite as good as the hype would lead me to believe. But let me tell you, to say this film surpassed my expectations is an understatement. This is the funniest film I have ever seen in my life. This is a black and white (mostly) silent film comedy that showcases such a joy and appreciation for the art of film, a movie that oozes charm from every pore. It genuinely needs to be seen to be believed. It has one of the best protagonist journeys from nobody to badass I've ever seen, and it features some of the funniest gags I've ever witnessed. My daughter walked over when she heard me laughing, started watching, and laughed her ass off at the movie too. Genuinely a masterpiece.

Go. Go watch it. It’s free on Prime Video, it’s free on Tubi, stop fucking reading this, go and watch Hundreds of Beavers, and then come back here. It’s fine, I’ll wait.

Alright, now that you’ve seen peak cinema, it’s time to talk about the dogshit.

Even with watching so many movies this year, I surprisingly enjoyed most of them. Sequels I expected to despise like Moana 2 and MaXXXine ended up being decent but heavily flawed, cartoon slop I thought would be irredeemable crap like Thelma the Unicorn and The Garfield Movie ended up being surprisingly decent and surprisingly mid respectively, and Madame Web was perhaps the funniest piece of shit Sony ever churned out. Kung Fu Panda 4 and Venom: The Last Dance are really the closest to genuine “dishonorable mentions” I have, but neither of them are that bad. Like, they definitely suck, but they have enough good points to them where I don’t want to put them on this list. The same goes for hilarious streaming garbage like Nanoshark and Cinderella’s Revenge. Sure, the former feels three hours long (it’s barely over sixty minutes) and the latter ends up squandering its fun premise and dickriding Elon Musk (I’m not kidding), but it’s hard for me to muster up anger at schlock meant to be put on as background noise.

But I still saw some fucking awful movies this year that I hate with a passion. Here are all ten of them:

10. Poolman

Poolman is the directorial debut of everyone’s favorite Chris, Chris Pine… and it is a perfect demonstration of why he needs to stick to acting. Imagine, if you will, Chinatown crossed with The Big Lebowski. Now imagine The Dude is the most annoying, insufferable moron imaginable. That’s essentially what this film is. There is some mild entertainment in some of the bizarre, rambling conversations the characters have but it never truly feels like a worthwhile experience.

9. Emelia Pérez

Is this the absolute worst film of the year? No, absolutely not; if anything nice can be said about this film, it’s that it is competently made and all the technical aspects are sound. But it is probably the most offensive film of the year, delivering some of the most problematic depictions of Mexico and the trans experience you can imagine. This is basically a Mexican minstrel show desperately trying to be some grand, operatic tale of a cartel boss who tries to right their wrongs and live as their true self. It comes off as incredibly tone deaf and cringeworthy, with the transition feeling more like a way for the title character to escape her sins than anything else, which tarnishes a story that genuinely sounds fascinating on paper. Throw in a bunch of nonsensical musical numbers that are uniformly awful and a cast that has a poor grasp on the Spanish language, and you have a movie that’s offensive to everyone from man to woman, from woman to man, from penis to vagina.

8. Nosferatu

Yeah, that’s right, two Nosferatus released in 2024! And the difference in quality couldn’t be more night and day; while the Eggers film is a stylish remake that tells the familiar story with enough of the director’s own ideas to make it a unique and engaging experience, this film is a shot-for-shot remake that looks like it has the budget of a Channel Awesome movie (with the acting talent to match). The one saving grace is that the inimitable Doug Jones portrays Orlok, but even he isn’t enough to redeem this pointless slop. There are three better versions of this story you could be watching, the original and two remakes that justify their existence. Don’t waste your time with this glorified fan film.

7. The Crow

I’m not usually one to say a role died with an actor or that some stories are just not able to be remade, but The Crow is definitely one of the exceptions. Brandon Lee owned the role of Eric Draven, and the original film is perfect 90s gothic action; it’s a story that doesn’t really need a retelling. They could have easily just done a spin-off sequel like they’d done before, but no, they decided to randomly slap the names of Eric and Shelly on two characters who end up being in name only and tossing them into a sloppy supernatural murder thriller with forgettable villains and piss-poor characterization. Bill Skarsgård is probably thanking God every night he had the role of a lifetime in Count Orlok to fall back on, because a performance as bad as his Eric is would be more than enough to tank an actor’s career in any other year. Yet, even as bad as this is, it somehow isn’t the worst comic book adaptation of the year.

6. Hellboy: The Crooked Man

With The Crow, I can see why it was remade. Sure, the end result is a pile of shit, but I at least can admit there is some level of artistic integrity there; they wanted to try and put a unique spin on a familiar story, that they failed catastrophically is another thing entirely. This movie, though? This is one of the most cynical adaptations ever created. It is so blatantly an ashcan copy—a cheap production churned out as quickly as possible to cling to the rights—that it’s genuinely painful to watch. It has the look and feel of a fan film, and not a very good one; this is the Spider-Man: Lotus of Hellboy films. Frankly, this one makes me appreciate the Harbour-led film even more. Sure, that movie was a sloppy trainwreck of a dozen plotlines, but at least it had cool gore and Ian McShane! This movie has next to nothing of value.

5. Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie

You’d think that giving SpongeBob’s coolest friend her own feature-length adventure where she gets to save the day would be a good thing, especially since she’s often sidelined in the theatrical releases. Well, you’d be wrong! This is easily some of the most insufferable SpongeBob content ever shat out by Nickeleodeon, with bogus and uncomfortable grossout humor, a padded plot filled with random action sequences that do nothing to advance the plot, and a bunch of poorly-acted villains with annoying gimmicks. Wanda Sykes’ Sue Nahmee in particular is just an absolute eyesore once her true nature is revealed. I absolutely love Sandy, she’s one of my favorite characters and has been since I was a kid, so when I tell you it stung to see her time in the limelight be such a dumpster fire you’d better believe it.

4. Harold and the Purple Crayon

I honestly don’t know why this film exists. I don’t even know what to say about it. The fact that no one looked at this, a film where Zachary Levi plays a manchild who represents a grown-up version of a beloved cartoon character who enters the real world to go on a stupid journey, and thought “Hey this actually fucking sucks and maybe we shouldn’t release this into theaters” is absolutely astounding. This is a film destined to pad the bottom of the bargain bin at Wal-Mart, with the copies going unsold for years and years. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if they released the Blu-Ray straight to the bargain bin. This is the kind of crap I’d expect to see on Netflix.

3. Kraven the Hunter

Sony really had a fucking abysmal year. Madame Web was the insane, stupid comedy gold we’ve come to expect from their Spider-Man minus Spider-Man cinematic universe, but it also showed that the novelty of a series comprised of nothing but bad movies was wearing thin. Then came Venom: The Last Dance, a meandering and mediocre finale to the beloved campy Venom trilogy that ditched the fun and queer undertones for an almost incoherent sequence of random events occasionally interjected by Knull sitting on his ass and yelling at people like he’s Steven Seagal on set of his latest movie. And then as their final gift to us, they managed to put their stupid franchise out of its misery with this brutal death blow of a film. Kraven is bad in the worst possible way: It is incredibly fucking boring. This is astounding because not only is this rated R and able to take full advantage of Kraven hunting, it also has the perfect character to delver a badass anti-villainous role. But they don’t do that; instead, they make Kraven into a pretty boy anti-hero with Aaron Taylor-Johnson giving a performance so dull it convinced me he was a bad actor until I saw The Fall Guy. It’s truly pathetic that after six films they couldn’t manage to get even one thing right. It’s the miserable end to a historically awful franchise. I truly hope Disney gets the full Spider-Man rights back soon, because I trust Sony with these characters about as much as I trust a toddler with a live grenade.

2. Borderlands

I have never played a Borderlands game in my life, but if they are even remotely like this movie I don’t think I ever want to. This movie is what everyone who hates the MCU says every Marvel movie is like; flat characters, bad action, stupid quippy “he’s right behind me isn’t he”-ass dialogue, baffling casting choices, and the world’s most annoying comic relief character all congeal together into this disastrously bad sci-fi adventure. I guess we’ve been pretty spoiled with good video game adaptations lately, so they had to release a bad one to even things out. At any rate, this is the sort of black mark a Zionist dog like Eli Roth deserves on his career. With any luck, it will keep him out of the director’s chair for a very long time.

1. Joker: Foile à Deux

As many of you may know, Tom Green’s Freddy Got Fingered is one of my all-time favorite films. It is a troll film, a film where Green is deliberately pushing the limits of gross out comedy and sanity at the expense of the studio; it’s a film that is deliberately off-putting. I’m also a fan of the John Leguizamo vehicle The Pest, a movie where the main character is made to be as deliberately annoying as possible, a film designed to be as horribly offensive to everyone as possible in the hopes it crosses the line enough times you’ll laugh. These are films I admire for their edgy, stupid, confrontational style; they will not appeal to everyone, and that’s fine, because while they are certainly laughing at your expense they’re laughing at everyone else’s expense as well.

This film is very similar, except that it’s only laughing at you. You, the viewer, are the punchline of this movie and it spends its plodding runtime hammering that in and telling you over and over how much of a stupid fucking idiot you are. The film is half the most banal courtroom drama you’ve ever seen, one where they do nothing but recap the first film, and half a terrible jukebox musical where the songs are just there to be there and are poorly sung. All of it is built around picking apart the first film and repeatedly hammering in that you’re stupid for liking Joker, the original film and the character. Now this isn’t an idea wholly devoid of merit, especially because of the wild misaimed fandom of the character, but Todd Phillips lacks the intelligence and maturity to tackle something as profound as that. He is truly a shallow filmmaker, unable to grasp these deeper ideas and so settling into surface-level style to distract you from how awful the screenplay is.

Genuinely, the worst part of all this is the incredibly tasteless moment where Joker is implied to be raped by prison guards, something that crushes his spirit and removes all his desire to be Joker (something he spent this whole film up to this point getting back to, despite the whole first film covering the same plot beats). There is so much wrong with this, so much that needs to be unpacked. Did he not realize the sort of messages this sends? Did Phillips really not think through the implications of Joker being cured of his Jokerness by being sexually assaulted? Considering his numerous crimes and the fact that he’s the fucking Joker, is this not implying in a way that perhaps the ends justified the means here? Honestly, I’m putting more thought into this than Phillips put into the whole movie. He just wanted to say “screw the audience” without finding ways to make it fun, engaging, or entertaining.

People are going to look back on this film in a few years and try and convince you it’s good. Don’t listen to them. It isn’t. This is a fucking disaster of a movie, and you are genuinely better off just watching the first film again; if you’re dead set on watching this, hit yourself on the head with a hammer while watching the first one and you’ll get just about the same basic effect. Any film that wastes Lady Gaga this badly is a crime against nature.

[vincentsleftear]

iris pls tell me should i watch the penguin and why

FJFJFIFJEKSJSPF YESYESYES!!

ahem.

I mean. Yes 😇. You absolutely should! Being that it’s a current hyper fixation of mine I may be a bit biased but I genuinely believe it’s the best thing on TV rn. There’s never a dull moment! Each episode leaves me floored and holding my breath till the next one airs lol.

This show is packed full of action and intrigue, compelling characters and show stopping performances, and fantastic writing and jaw dropping costume/set design.

Here’s a few other reasons 🤭:

1. Hot Evil Lady

I mean!! C’mon!! Enough said. If this alone doesn’t convince you idk how to help honestly.

Jokes aside, Cristin Milioti TURNS IT as Sofia Falcone. Give that lady her Emmy NOW. In a show about *The Penguin’s* rise to power, she is completely winning over so much of the audience despite being the protagonist’s main opposition. That’s how powerful her performance is.

If you’re a fan of the “self-fulfilling prophecy”/“becoming-the-very-thing-you-seek-to-destroy-trope” like I am (or just a fan of hot evil women lmao) you’ll love her and this show.

2. Colin Farrell is a Wizard

Look at these two images. Look at them. How on earth is that the same person. Idk!!! Colin Farrell is completely unrecognizable in his role as Oz Cobb and it’s not just in his physical appearance! The accent. The walk. The mannerisms. All the way down to the way he turns his head!! It’s a complete transformation and incredible to watch on screen!

3. Fucked Up Familial Dynamics! Yippee!!

One of my personal favorite tropes ❤️ and there’s NO shortage of examples in this show lol. Idk how to sell this aspect of The Penguin without giving too many spoilers. Just know that the character dynamics in this show are so deliciously fucked up. I really love how so many of the central dynamics within the show mirror eachother in some way. That’s all I can say. Just. *chefs kiss*

4. Cute Mentor Relationship!

If you’re not a sicko like me, never fear!! There’s something for you too! A nice little mentor dynamic!! Such a classic trope!

The paths of Oz Cobb, hardened gangster, and Victor Aguilar, orphan and petty thief, cross unexpectedly one fateful night. Both struggle with different forms of disability in a world where the vulnerable are sacrificed for power and control. Oz sees himself in young Victor and takes him under his wing. The two become teammates in their plan for survival and to make it to the top of Gotham’s criminal world.

and um. Yeah 💌 that’s my thesis on why you should watch The Penguin 😁😁

[thebonerpit]

As usual, new season of Black Mirror means new rankings from me! Honestly a lot of these were hard to rank just because I'd put most of them on a very similar level. None of these episodes would really reach my all-time favourite spots but they were all generally solid. Mild spoilers below...

Plaything - This just really scratched a lot of itches for me with the retro gaming angle, the Bandersnatch callback, Peter Capaldi being a LEGEND... yeah, just really well done overall. The Thronglets reminded me of a mix between Lemmings and this old game called Creatures I used to play lol.

Bête Noire - This one was so classic Black Mirror to me, absolutely loved it. I think Rosy McEwen was amazing, and the tech in this was SO cool. It's such a diabolical thing to be able to gaslight someone to that degree by basically changing reality around them.

Eulogy - This might have been a bit lower if not for Paul Giamatti being sooooo insanely good. The tech part was interesting for sure but he really carried the whole episode and I thought it was incredibly realistic both for showing kind of a messy relationship between two very young people but also how your own memory can almost lie to you about things. He was so caught up in his anger over what happened that he ignored how much he was at fault for it too.

Hotel Reverie - Very much San Junipero Part Two: Electric Boogaloo but I mean... Emma Corrin... holy shit. She was captivating, and that whole scene where her character is remembering her life as an actress had me tearing up. I will say I wasn't a huge fan of Issa Rae in this, idk, like I get what they were going for with keeping her character very modern but sometimes it was a little jarring.

USS Callister: Into Infinity - I loooooved the original USS Callister so much and this was a great little sequel to that. I'm not sure if it was really necessary? But it worked! And I'll watched Cristin Milioti and Jimmi Simpson in anything lol. Probably one of my favourite parts was when she met Daly again and you think he's different, that he's just kind of a sweet guy who is nothing like the original Daly, but he turns out to be just as much of a creep.

Common People - Honestly part of the reason I ranked this so low is because some of it felt way too real and it was genuinely uncomfortable and irritating. Like, all the corportate/sales jargon, putting advertisements in everything, tiered subscriptions... yuck ew ugh. I mean clearly it was a dig at the state of health care in the US which was well deserved but yeah I just spent half the episode wrinkling my nose in disgust.

[alynicoleee]

Beginning of Forever: Chapter Eighteen

Title: Beginning of Forever (Chapter 18) Pairing: Tim Lincecum / OFC POV: Third Person - Tim Lincecum Rating: PG-13

Tim walked around his dad's house and noticed that his dad had set up a few Christmas knick knacks around the place. His dad had never been one for decorating - their holidays had mostly been meek and quiet, just the two of them for many years.

Tim had wished Alyssa a happy thanksgiving and she had responded back, stating that she hoped he had a nice time with his family. He sat in the kitchen island drinking coffee when his dad walked him.

"Good Morning Tim".

"Good Morning Dad. I like the Christmas details starting to pop up."

"Thanks. I thought I'd add something to cheer up the place a little."

Tim nodded and stared into his cup.

"You okay son?"

Tim looked up and sighed. He hadn't talked about Alyssa to anyone, but kind of wanted to.

"When did you know you were ready to move on? After Mom left?"

Tim and his father's situation wasn't the same. His wife had passed away after they had been together for ten years. While his mom had left his father one day after they had been together for over fifteen years. They had both lost their partner but in significantly different ways. He knew it wasn't the same - but maybe his dad would be able to offer some sort of perspective.

Tim's father, Chris, sighed. "I don't know if there was ever a point where I said - I'm ready. Now is the time. For a few years there I lived vicariously through you, through your career, so I didn't really have time to even think about a relationship. I want to say that it was once I stopped missing your mother, once the empty feeling went away. I think that's when I knew I was ready."

Chris paused waiting for a response from Tim. When he didn't get one he continued, "Are you thinking that time is moving too slow? Or maybe too fast? There's no definitive time table here. No one can tell you if it's too soon or not soon enough. Only you'll know when the time is right. If it feels right."

Tim had been listening to his dad and looked back down into his cup. "I met someone. And I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm ready to go and start something but then other times I feel guilty, like I'm moving on too fast."

Chris sat down next Tim and placed a hand on his shoulder, "It's okay to feel guilty. But Cristin wouldn't want you to dwell and be alone forever. She'd want you to be happy and find love again."

"I know. And I tell myself that Cristin would be okay with my moving on, but then I'll go a few days where I don't even think of her, and that's when I begin to feel guilty. And I know that's not fair. To me, to her memory, or even to the woman I met."

"You want to tell me about her? Or is that prying into something that you don't even know where it stands right now."

"You know it's never prying Dad. And I always value your input. You know Drew and Sean were down in Miami in late October. Drew being Drew decided he'd download one of those dating apps on my phone and set me up with a profile. I didn't think I was even going to use it but I did. For the most part the app was pretty mundane, matches didn't really go anywhere - but than I matched with this one woman - Alyssa. I think what made it different with her was that she seemed so relaxed and nonchalant right from the beginning. And she knew exactly who I was - but never made a big deal out of. In fact, even now I don't think she's ever mentioned anything about my playing days. She knew who I was but treated me like just another random match. I liked that."

Tim moved to put his cup in the sink as he continued talking, "We went out twice and the connection was incredible. It felt like I had known her my whole life and then I got scared that everything was feeling right and maybe moving too fast. So I kind of back tracked and we started over, going slower. But sometimes I feel like it's a snail pace, but I don't want it to feel rushed either. But she's amazing. She's giving me space and time to figure everything out, but I don't know if that's even fair to her and I don't want to hurt her either.

Tim sighed as he leaned against the countertop and waited for his dad to tell him something he didn't want to hear, but instead Chris just sat and responded, "Son, good things are allowed to happen to you too. And they don't need to be difficult, or hard or come with sacrifices. They can just be."

[joeygoeshollywood]

My 25 Favorite Films of 2020

Well, this was quite the crazy year, especially for movies. While many films that were slated to be released this year were postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic, this year still provided some laughs, tears, and thrills both in theaters and in the living room. 

(NOTE: Due to the delayed awards season calendar and postponed Oscar bait films that are unavailable to be seen before the end of 2020, this list will eventually be updated after having seen the following films: The Father, Minari, News of the World, Nomadland, One Night in Miami, Pieces of a Woman, Promising Young Woman)

Here are my 25 favorite films of the year:

25. Kajillionaire 

Quirky filmmaker Miranda July is back with her first feature in nearly a decade. Kajillionaire is a bizarre but captivating tale about a family of criminal grifters and how the daughter reevaluates her strained relationship with her parents after an outsider is welcomed into the fold. Evan Rachel Wood takes what could have easily been dismissed as a goofy caricature in Old Dolio (yes, that’s her name) and turns into a heartfelt portrayal of a woman whose lifestyle of freeloading dictated by her parents (played by Debra Winger and Richard Jenkins) becomes her own crisis. In many ways, Kajillionaire feels like a fantasy that keeps people asking, “What on earth is going on?” And this time, it’s for the best. 

24. Freaky

Revamping decades-old plots like the body-swapping antics from Freaky Friday can either result in a predictable failure or a surprising success. Thankfully, Freaky falls into the latter category. In this horror comedy, a deranged serial killer (played by Vince Vaughn) swaps bodies with his victim, a timid teen girl (played by Kathryn Newton). What makes the film work though are the dedicated lead performances, particularly by Vaughn, who is pretty convincing as young girl trapped in a grown man’s body. With a few good laughs and decent thrills, Freaky is worth the watch. 

23. The Outpost

The Outpost is an intense film about the real-life story of small group of US troops isolated by surrounding mountains in Afghanistan, under the constant threat of the Taliban, which ultimately comes to a head in the Battle of Kamdesh. The film captures the harrowing experiences of these soldiers with heart-pounding action sequences, which are fueled by a solid cast including Scott Eastwood, Caleb Landry Jones, and Orlando Bloom. 

22. Uncle Frank

Paul Bettany may be best known for playing The Vision in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but he should be celebrated as his title character in Uncle Frank, a touching dramedy set in 1973 about an NYU professor who returns home to his estranged family for his father’s funeral while his niece, played by rising star Sophia Lillis, idolizes him for teaching her to be her authentic self while he keeps his sexuality a secret. Bettany brilliantly balances the coolness of his stature with the internal agony that ultimately hits a boiling point, which is counterbalanced by Peter Macdissi’s fun performance as Frank’s happy-go-lucky lover who accompanies him back home despite his wishes. 

21. Hillbilly Elegy

Hillbilly Elegy was panned by critics over politics that had absolutely no role the film. Based on the best-selling memoir by J.D. Vance, the newest feature from Ron Howard shows the journey of a boy who despite all odds growing up in a poor family that constantly struggled with abuse and addition managed to get into Yale Law School and achieve the American dream. While both Gabriel Basso and Owen Asztalos hold the film together as the younger and older Vance in the present and flashback scenes, Amy Adams as the impulsive, irresponsible mother and an unrecognizable Glenn Close as the no-nonsense inspiring grandmother that turn Hillbilly Elegy into an acting tour de force. 

20. The Trial of the Chicago 7

Oscar-winning screenwriter Aaron Sorkin sits in the director’s chair once again in this courtroom drama about the real-life protesters who showed up in Chicago during the 1968 Democratic National Convention. With themes that resonate today, The Trial of the Chicago 7 benefits from its sharp screenplay, well-paced editing, and an outstanding ensemble cast that includes Eddie Redmayne, Mark Rylance, Yahoo Abdul-Mateen II, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jeremy Strong, Frank Langella, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Michael Keaton. 

19. Yellow Rose

Broadway actress Eva Noblezada makes her film debut as an aspiring country singer on the run after her mother, an illegal immigrant, is obtained for deportation. Yellow Rose presents a nuanced depiction of US immigration, but at the heart of it is a heartbreaking story of a young woman who struggles between putting her family or her dreams first. Between Noblezada’s powerful performance and solid original music, Yellow Rose hits all the right chords. 

18. Palm Springs

Move over, Groundhog Day. While the Bill Murray classic has largely monopolized the time loop film genre, Palm Springs gives it a run for its money. Andy Sandberg and Cristin Milioti star as the unlikely duo who are stranded reliving the same dreaded wedding day involving mutual acquaintances and their desperate efforts to escape the seemingly inescapable. The Hulu comedy stands on its own two feet for the good laughs, the chemistry between the two leads, and the film’s emotionally-grounded plot.  

17. Let Him Go

Kevin Costner and Diane Lane reunite on the big screen after playing farmer parents in Man of Steel to rancher grandparents in Let Him Go, although this time they are able to display their full acting chops. In this period dramatic thriller, they set out to find their only grandchild following the death of their son only to discover that the widowed daughter-in-law remarried into an infamous crime family. While both Costner and Lane tug at the heartstrings, it’s Lesley Manville, who plays the ruthless matriarch of the family, that really takes command of the screen. Ultimately, Let Him Go is all about family and the lengths one is willing to go to protect it. 

16. Unhinged

In a year plagued by the pandemic, Unhinged led the way to the revival of movie theaters back in August and perhaps in some ways it was meant to be the film to do so as the themes of a rage-fueled society and the lack of human connection carry weight. Russell Crowe stars, as the title suggests, as an unhinged psychopath whose road rage torments a woman and her adolescent son. Unhinged is the epitome of pure entertainment and is why we go to the movies. While it’s not quite the most sophisticated thriller of the year, it’s still one helluva ride. 

15. Emma

Anya Taylor-Joy has had quite the year with both highs (The Queen’s Gambit) and lows (The New Mutants). But it began before the pandemic with the release of Emma, which she stars as the iconic Jane Austen title character, a socialite who meddles in the love life of others while refusing to acknowledge her own shortcomings in that department. Supported with a strong ensemble cast, beautiful production design, and comedic charm, Emma is not to be missed. 

14. The Invisible Man

ln the era of remakes and reboots, very few are as good as Universal’s latest monster flick revival of The Invisible Man. Elisabeth Moss stars as a woman who believes she’s being haunted by her abusive ex-husband, someone she becomes convinced faked his own death and is stalking her without being able to be seen. Filmmaker Leigh Whannell, the writer behind the Saw and Insidious horror franchises, generates good thrills and high-wire tension with the help of high production value and a terrifyingly-good performance from Moss. 

13. Dick Johnson is Dead

Documentarian Kirsten Johnson filmed a beautiful, intimate tribute to her father Dick Johnson, who has been suffering from Alzheimer's in the final years of his life. However, instead of dreading his death, both daughter and father embrace it by having him acting out several scenes of his over-the-top demises. Dick Johnson is Dead may focus on the subject manner of death, but this documentary actually celebrates life and the laughs that happen along the way. 

12. The Wolf of Snow Hollow

Perhaps one of the littlest-known films of the year, The Wolf of Snow Hollow is not your conventional indie comedy horror flick. Writer/director Jim Cummings stars as an overly-heated police officer who attempts to get to the bottom of a string of murders in his small, snowy Utah town by what appears to be some sort of werewolf, though he remains unconvinced. Featuring one of the final performances from veteran actor Robert Forster, The Wolf of Snow Hollow uses its quirky sense of humor to stand out from the rest of the pack. 

11. The Gentlemen 

The Gentlemen is a fun, action-packed, crime caper from Guy Ritchie about the London turf war of drug kingpins. Matthew McConaughey, Charlie Hunnam, Henry Goulding, Michelle Dockery, and Colin Ferrell all round out the strong cast, but its Hugh Grant that really steals the show as the comedically manipulative Fletcher, whose only allegiance is to himself. If you like a stylish film with well-choreographed violence and a fast-paced plot, The Gentlemen should be your cup of tea.  

10. Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Some of the best play-to-film adaptations are the films that feel like you’re watching a play, and Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom is one of them. Produced by Denzel Washington, Viola Davis gives a transformative performance as Ma Rainey, known as the “mother of the blues” and the clash she had with a pair of White music producers, but she also butts heads with her trumpet player (played by the late Chadwick Boseman), who also has his own music ambitions. While Davis obviously gives other Oscar-worthy performance, it was Boseman who was able to show how incredibly gifted he was as an actor. And while the world lost him far too soon, at least his last role ended up being his greatest. 

9. The Kid Detective

One of the biggest surprises of the year was how good a movie starring and produced by Adam Brody was. Brody plays a washed up former kid detective who attempts to revive his once-celebrated career of solving mysteries by getting to the bottom of a murder in his hometown. The Kid Detective is a brilliant dark comedy from newcomer writer/director Evan Morgan with good laughs, plenty of plot twists, and a career-best performance from Brody, who proves he’s more than just the pretty face from The O.C. we all know him as. 

8. Mank

Citizen Kane is widely regarded as one of the greatest films ever made and Mank is a worthy tribute. Gary Oldman stars as the title character Herman “Mank” Mankiewicz, the Oscar-winning screenwriter behind the iconic film. David Fincher (The Social Network, Gone Girl) managed to capture the epic scale of the 1941 classic that would make Orson Welles proud. 

7. Soul

Soul is one of those rare existential Pixar films that goes beyond being children’s entertainment. Following in the footsteps of 2015′s Inside Out, Soul depicts what happens to the soul of a jazz musician who’s convinced his time on Earth isn’t over. While the universe created to explain how souls work and the plot that went along with it falls short of its emotions predecessor, Soul is still high-caliber among Pixar films and a great movie for both kids and adults alike. 

6. Another Round

Perhaps the greatest work from Swedish director Thomas Vinterberg to date, Another Round follows four unsatisfied middle aged men who decide to take a theory of task from a Norwegian psychiatrist, who concluded that maintaining a blood alcohol level of 0.050 will enhance their mental and psychological state. Mads Mikkelsen, who’s best known to American audiences as Hannibal Lecter in the short-lived NBC series Hannibal and the Bond villain in Casino Royale, offers a strong, nuanced performance as one of the four educators who embraces this drinking challenge in a film that provides an equal balance of chuckles, cringes, and emotional gut punches. 

5. I’m Thinking of Ending Things

From the crazy mastermind of Charlie Kaufman, the writer behind Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Anomalisa, his latest on Netflix is too a mind-bender. I’m Thinking of Ending Things is a surreal, zany, and at times disturbing examination of the human condition as the nameless female protagonist played by an incredible Jessie Buckley mulls over breaking up with her boyfriend (played by Jesse Plemons) while visiting his parents’ house. Accompanied with a stellar production design and a crazy-good performance from Toni Collette as “Mother,” Kaufman newest cerebral feature lives up to his iconic reputation of filmmaking. 

4. Da 5 Bloods

Spike Lee is one of the few genius filmmakers who is able to blend multiple genres together and his latest film is no different. Da 5 Bloods is an action adventure, buddy comedy, dramatic character study, and war movie all wrapped up into one about a group of Vietnam War veterans who return to the former battlegrounds to find the remains of one of their fallen soldiers as well as some treasure that they kept hidden years ago. With a strong ensemble cast that includes the late Chadwick Boseman, its longtime character actor Delroy Lindo who steals the show with his powerful performance. Da 5 Bloods is easily one of Netflix’s strongest films to date. 

3. The Assistant

One of the first #MeToo-era films, The Assistant offers the day in the life of a low-level female staffer of a production company who is haunted by the presence of her Harvey Weinstein-like boss (who never actually appears in the film). However, rather than depicting the dramatics of sexual misconduct, The Assistant uses the common subtleties and nuances of the workplace yet maintains the same tension and heartbreak. Anchored by the remarkable, devastating performance by up-and-comer Julia Garner (Ozark), The Assistant is as important as it is well-done. 

2. Sound of Metal

Riz Ahmed gives the performance of his career as a heavy metal drummer and former addict whose sudden battle with going deaf upends his life. Sound of Metal is an incredible experience that gives a rare glimpse in the American deaf community which is enhanced by the remarkable sound design that helps the audience actually hear what the musician is going through. It’s truly one of the most rewarding films of the year. 

1. The Climb

The Climb takes the generic “man sleeps with his best friend’s fiancé” storyline and turns it on its head. In his feature debut as writer and director, Michael Angelo Covino leads as the not-so-apologetic adulterer Mike and Kyle Marvin, who co-wrote the film, is the good-hearted Kyle who struggles to whether or not to forgive his best friend’s ultimately betrayal. Not only is The Climb is quirky and hilariously written, it’s a remarkably well-made comedy with some of the year’s best cinematography. Between a strong cast, a superb screenplay, and the extremely-high production value, The Climb is at the top of the mountain of 2020′s best films. 

[adiarosefandoms]

Harry Potter Geekish Channels

If you’re a Harry Potter fan seeking some fun Wizarding content, I’ve followed these girl’s Youtube channels since I was ten years old and still watch their new content to this day.

Brizzy (Anna Brisbane) is a voice actress with a knack for cosplay. She is a Ravenclaw who is also a part of many other fandoms including Marvel and DC, though her voice impressions are undoubtedly her most iconic trait.  From the first video I watched, I loved her personality and continued to binge her Youtube history. Random, clever, and a true fangirl, Brizzy is an amazing person I’d watch everyday whether she’s doing another round of impression Alphabet Aerobics, or visiting the Wizarding World.

https://www.youtube.com/user/brizzyvoices 

Tessa Netting’s main claim to fame is her Youtube channel, but she’s also worked as an actor and performed on Broadway during the 2008 run of Billy Elliot. She’s incredibly energetic and positive, though she does discuss the occasional real issues such as the JK Rowling controversy on her channel or mental illness on her Instagram. A lovable geek, this Ravenclaw exudes good vibes for good times. Plus, right now you can check out incoming videos of her planning her geekish wedding that she describes as “a descent into madness.” (This means book page flowers, 9 3/4 invitations/tickets, and stormtroopers galore.)

https://www.youtube.com/user/tessaROXX

PolandBananasBooks (Cristine Riccio) is a Youtuber as well as the author of two popular YA novels, Again but Better, and Better Together. While both take place in an urban setting, they each feature their own little kind of magic. Her channel’s description is right there in the username, Books. Reviews, challenges, reactions, releases, and more, she’s typically my source for new bookish info. This Ravenclaw slays at Harry Potter trivia, which you can find multiple videos of her playing.

https://www.youtube.com/user/polandbananasBOOKS

I just adore this trio of Ravenclaws whether they’re together or apart. Their videos and Instagrams brighten my day considerably and I highly recommend checking them out.

(Plus, they all prove once again, that Ravenclaw is the best house.)

[agentnico]

Palm Springs (2020) Review

The cop from Brooklyn Nine-Nine gets with Ted’s wife from How I Met Your Mother. Let the comedy ensue...

Plot: When carefree Nyles and reluctant maid of honour Sarah have a chance encounter at a Palm Springs wedding, things get complicated as they are unable to escape the venue, themselves, or each other.

Ever since the comedy classic Groundhog Day hit our screens back in 1993, the idea of getting stuck in the same day on repeat in a time-loop has been done and rehashed many times with the likes Edge of Tomorrow, Netflix’s Russian Doll and Happy Death Day as an examples just to mention a few. That’s not even alluding to the countless times popular TV shows dedicated an episode towards this gimmick. What I can I say, its a success proven formula, so why not milk it to the teat! So now famous comedy music group The Lonely Island who have recently been delving into the film-making business with the likes of Hot Rod, Brigsby Bear, Storks, Tour de Pharmacy and the incredibly funny Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping have also decided to jump onto the Groundhog Day wagon and bring us Palm Springs. What separates this movie from the other time-loop flicks previous to it is the factor that it places multiple characters in the time loop instead of just the usual lone protagonist, to wake up in the same place on the same day every day, always at a wedding in Palm Springs. Thus, there are shifts in perspective running concurrent with the temporal repetition of events and place, which opens up an array of possibilities in montage and storytelling.

What I appreciated about Palm Springs is that it doesn’t waste time with exploiting it’s all too familiar narrative, as such when we meet Andy Samberg’s character Nyles, he has already been stuck in this repeated plot long before we catch him in the movie, so he quickly brings us up to speed on what is going on, instead of leaving us for half the movie with the Murray factor of trying to figure out what is happening. To be honest, the repetition story thread is actually a set-up for what this movie is truly about, and that is the classic love story. This is a romantic movie through and through, as we get to enjoy Samberg’s and Milioti’s characters get to know each other and learn to appreciate each other under the given fantastical circumstances. Yes, the movie is filled to the brim with romantic movie tropes and cliches, and there are some good spills of humour throughout, but also this movie is surprisingly relatable for us in the year 2020. The whole idea of losing track of time due to the lack of a tomorrow, or in our case having days merge into one as people are stuck isolating at home during a pandemic, but this relevancy is purely coincidental as I’m certain the folks from The Lonely Island were not aware that a pandemic was going to hit at the time they were filming this. Then again, maybe they were. What if, dare I even say it....Andy Samberg is behind all of this?? No, no it cannot be! That’s stupid talk! No, really, that is stupid, what am I even talking about? Where am I going with this?? In any case, Palm Springs offers exactly what you expect from it without taking any risks, nor does it have to, as it never tries to prove that it’s something more unique than a simple enjoyable romantic comedy.

There’s a lovely cast here at work also worth mentioning. Andy Samberg imbues Nyles with the right level of cynicism, that would naturally occur, one would assume, if you were reliving the same day for the hundredth time. Cristin Milioti, known to most as the mother from How I Met Your Mother, gets to play the confused type as she’s thrown into the time-loop at the time we start the film, so it’s interesting to see her crazy ballistic reaction to the entire ordeal to counterpart Samberg’s accepting calm demeanour. They both share solid chemistry with one another, though I feel like them falling for one another felt a bit rushed, at least from the point of view of an audience, as by the narrative standards these characters have been stuck in the same day for a while. I don’t know, when the typical romantic Hollywood ending comes about, I didn’t feel like it was garnered. But that’s more of a script complaint rather than towards the actors. J.K. Simmons also pops up in a fun little role that then turns endearing when you find out more about him. 

As a whole, Palm Springs lacks the twists and turns, but makes up for it with its feel-good heartwarming nature, and some good solid jokes to seal the deal. Though I would not say this is a laugh out loud comedy. If you are looking for something truly hilarious, look no further that The Lonely Island’s other comedy Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, featuring a load of slapstick buffoonery to satisfy your cravings. But do give Palm Springs a watch too, its enjoyable for what its worth. 

Overall score: 6/10

[goodphantomoftheoperaposts]

okay but HEAR ME OUT

Now, I don’t stan either Erik or Raoul. They both honsetly have their faults (although one admittedly has much worse faults) but with that said, if I’m going to be perfectly honest here, (and I’m speaking mainly about the ALW musical adaptation) if things didn’t go so sour due to Erik’s incredibly poor choices, I think Christine may have actually chose him. Like, if Erik wasn’t so clingy and dependent on her, and was willing to let her have some air, I think she may have found him a lot more appealing than Raoul is.

It’s not that Raoul would make a bad husband (we’re ignoring LND here), it’s more of a personality thing. Christine is an artist, and not just with music. Well, music is a huge part of her life and it brings her a rush like nothing else can, but she’s intruged by the strange and and unfamillair. The things she really wants to experience and explore would be considered unorthadox in her time. That’s why she was so curious about Erik when she first met him. He was exciting. He’s a weird ass dude and he knows how to work it. He was mysterious, hard even tell if he was actually a human or some kind of earthreal being. Every corner of his home is scatterd with music and art, he’s talented as hell, incredibly intellegent, and just a and just an odd guy in general, and Christine digs it. That’s the kind of shit she’s into but is too self-concious to ever express due to society’s expectations of her. But Erik, he’s not apart of society. He doesn’t follow social norms like other men. She could be her true weird around him, and he wouldn’t mind at all. If anything he’d support the hell out of it, and in a way I suposse, actually freeing her, even if that is a bit ironic.

Raoul on the other hand though? He’s a good guy. He’s supportive and he Loves Cristine to death, but the thing is.... he’s normal. He’s your average Mr. Perfect from that time period. He’s ritch and can provide a comfortable life for the both of them, but deep down, I don’t thik Christine really wants a “normal” life. With Raoul she could imagine pretty much exactly how her life would go. But with Erik? It’s always a mystery, an adventure. He’s always got something interesting and weird going on. He’s not normal.

Also, I feel like I should address the context behind both Raoul and Erik’s bad traits. Now Erik certainly has pulled worse shit, that’s for sure, but it’s the reason why they did the things they did that I want to focus on.

When Raoul had his dick moments, it invloved him being impulsive and not letting Christine make her own decisions. He also tended to sometimes give off a bit of a “nice guy” vibe if you know what I mean. But why is that? Simple. He’s a product of his time. That sort of behavoir was considered normal coming from men back then, and hell, even now sometimes. He’s the man in the relationship. He was raised to belive that it’s his right take control and be dominant. Even if he has no real ill intention, that’s how he, and most other men back then were conditioned from a young age to belive.

But now lets look at Erik. He did much worse shit, but none of it had anything to do with gender norms. He’s impulsive, aggressive, and dominant yes, but it’s not because he was raised to be that way. He basically raised himself. He had no one to look out for him. Since he was a little kid he had been living by his own terms, completely detatched from the outside world. Thus, society’s expectations for how he should behave around women were never ingrained in him. The reason he’s so aggressive is purely a result his envornment growing up. Meaning, that the controlling behavoir he showed towards Christine when he started to lose his shit had nothing to do with how he veiwed women, he’s just kind of an asshole.

OKAY SO NOW.

Pretend, just PRETEND that Erik didn’t pull any of the nasty shit that he did. He may still be very difficult and aggressive at times but he didn’t manipulate, murder, or lie to get his way.

Christine meets him. He’s exilrating to be around. He lets her do pretty much anything she wants, even things that would be considered extreamly for unattractive for a woman to do back then. She’s the only one who gets him, and he’s the only one who totally gets her. He inspires and supports her art more than anyone else ever could.

Raoul on the other hand is still exactly the same. Normal, every girl’s dream guy, and he acts pretty much the way a man is expected to act. He’s supportive of Christine’s inerests but not as enthusastic as she is.

Now who do you think she would choose? Your average Ken doll with a side of victorian-era sexism, or the most talented goth in the history of France who she could cuss up a storm in front of, and he’d still think she was the most goddamn divine thing he’s ever seen?

So long story short, if Erik wasn’t such a huge jackass, then Christine may have actually willingly chose him instead

[liliisms]

👸 2 k 1 8 review 👸

001. What is your proudest accomplishment of this year? - Getting to make a speech about the power of body image at the Glamour Women of the Year Summit. As proud as I am of Riverdale (and I’m extremely proud), I have always wanted to use my voice for something useful. I’ve struggled with body acceptance my whole life, always self-conscious about my skin or thighs or boobs and it was only with the support from my family and friends that I finally learned how to become comfortable in my own body. Society and the media can be very damaging to young women and men’s self-esteem as they grow throughout the years and I wanted to use my platform to promote loving yourself for exactly who you are, imperfections and all. I’ve always tried to be genuine and true to myself and to get to be able to speak to so many people..well, it was truly a honor and I try to set an example everyday of what it means to love your body and your soul.

002. What is the biggest life lesson you learned this year? - I have the power to take control of how people make me feel. I don’t have to read the hateful comments. I don’t have to watch the videos insulting me and my friends just for them to get views. I can block people and turn away from spiteful people who think they have the right to talk about my life. I don’t owe anything anybody and the only person I should be trying to impress is myself. The minute I stopped caring about what people thought of me and started to live for myself, to make myself happy, is the minute a million of worries flitted away and I felt myself relaxing. I only get one life and I intend to live it the way I see fit.

003. What is one relationship (can be friendship) that has helped you survive this year? - I’m going to be predictable with this answer, but how can I say anybody but Cole @coleffs ? He’s truly been my rock. Not only in the sense of being there from day one of stepping into this crazy industry to learn how to handle the pressures that come with fame, but he’s also always been one hundred percent genuine with me. I’ve never had to be anyone but myself with him and to feel that love from him, to see how much he cared about me with no frills, no glitter, no pretending really helped me to also love myself even more. He’s taught me a lot - how to appreciate life a little deeper, how to take not take myself so seriously when I can get caught up in the little things, how to be patient and breathe when I feel myself trembling in fear of not living up to my potential. He sees the best in me, always and for that, he’s helped me to open myself up so many experiences. Falling in love is the scariest thing you can ever do and yet with him, he made is so easy and effortless. Cole’s been there through late nights, early mornings, crazy outings, quiet walks, and wild chaos and I’ve never seen him as anything other than imperfectly perfect. He’s truly my soul mate and the love of my life and I’d be lost without him.

004. Who or what do you need to let go of in order to make next year even better than this year? - I’m definitely going to focus less on social media and getting caught up in the drama that comes with comments and unwanted opinions, and focus more on the support that comes from the people I love. I also think I need to be more reckless - not in a bad way, but stop thinking about so much what will happen if I don’t make a certain decision and start thinking about what I could gain if I do.

005. What did you do this year that you’ve never done before? - Where do I start? Gone to Hawaii. Rode in a hot air balloon. Flew in a helicopter over mountains and had a picnic a thousand feet in the air. Was on a television soundtrack. I’m a very lucky girl.

006. What are three resolutions or goals you want to make happen next year? - 1) Bring Addy out to LA more, 2) Do more little things for Cole to surprise him, and 3) Try to get more product and business deals about ideas I support and care about.

007. Where did most of your money go this year? - Without a doubt, junk food and skin care products.

008. What song will always remind you of this year? - Can’t Help Falling in Love by Kina Grannis.

009. How will you be spending the last day of this year? - I think my friend Austyn and I are going on a little trip, but I’m not sure yet! I’ve yet to really set anything in stone.

010. Who is the best new person you’ve met this year? - Haley and Kiernan! They’ve really become two of my newest sisters. @hqhaleyluhoo & @keekshipka

–

001. What relationship (can be friendship) has been the most fun to write for your muse/s this year? - For Lili, writing SH with Vic has been incredibly sweet and I’m grateful she was willing to keep their relationship and that she’s stuck with me this long. I’m always waiting with bated breath for really amazing ship partners to drop me but she’s never made me feel anything less than wanted and appreciated, so it just makes the ship that much more precious to me. As for friendships, I always get a kick out of Lili/Saoirse. @irishxseahorse has such a great sense of humor and never fails to make me laugh.

For Keegan, the Treegan relationship wasn’t really a surprise but I was happy with how naturally it developed. You don’t always have chemistry even if your fc’s do in real life but Emily has been such a perfect Troian. Seeing as how I’ve played Troian for the majority of my RP years, I’m very picky with how people play her and Em fits the bill. ;) I love that it’s not rushed, it’s going at a very easy and natural pace, and how willing Emily always is to talk to me and to keep my muse high with cute muse inspo. And for friendships, Keegan/Lizzie! @ohlizzo Be prepared for 2019, Sadie. Keegan’s gonna worm his way into Lizzie’s heart.

And on Munro, I’ve been lucky enough to sort of ship with Vic again with Munro/Cristine. We decided to give them a shot and I love the messy friends with benefits plot. I can’t wait to focus on them more and hopefully do more with them next year. I also really love Munro and Natalia’s friendship. @itsnataliadyr Eena is the actual sweetest and I adore how immediately playful their interactions became. I always look forward to replying to her and love her Natalia.

002. In what ways do you connect to your muse/s? - Out of all of them, I think I connect to Lili the most not only because she’s the only female muse, but also because we’re both fellow Virgos. I’m a big astrology nerd and I believe your sign impacts your personality so I feel like she’s a kindred spirit to me in a way. She’s definitely as impulsive with her words as I am and we both share the same sense of humor. With Keegan, I relate deeply to his sensitivity and his love for cats because I am the biggest cat lady and would have a million cats if I could. He also wears his heart on his sleeve and I do too. And with Munro..he’s probably the muse I have the least in common with but we do share a love for geekdom so that’s fun!

003. What’s your favorite category to write for your muse/s? (angst, fluff, smut, etc.) - I haven’t been able to write much smut here because not everybody is comfortable writing it (which is totally cool) but smut & angst is probably my favorite to write because I feel like that’s where I shine. I don’t know what that says about me but..Those are my top two categories where I get the most compliments on my writing. Obviously fluff is great and we all know I can wax on forever with mushy and sappy stuff..

004. If you could give your muse/s one gift, what would you give them? - I can’t afford anything for them, but if I could, I’d give her the Chipotle black card because she seems to really want it. Or a sponsorship by Dominos. I’d also love to give her a big hug and tell her how much I admire her, and how much her words mean to me. It’s so nice to be a fan of a woman who isn’t afraid to speak her mind and who promotes loving yourself and not being ashamed if you’re a little different from everyone else.

For Keegan, I’d give him notebooks and demand he write more songs and scripts and cast Troian in all of them. I’d also give him another kitten friend because who doesn’t want more kittens?

And for Munro, I’d beg him to get Instagram just so I can know what he’s up to! Seriously though, Munro seems like a simple guy but I’d give him Lion King tickets and then make him go with me so I can hide in his arms when Mufasa dies. NOT READY, NEVER READY.

005. What was your favorite event/moment/memory in HollywoodlandHQ this year? - Is it cheesy if I say when we opened? I was really excited and so proud and I felt like I finally crossed something off my bucket list. I wanted a safe place for the people I loved to create and write. I also loved the Halloween event! Anything a little spooky, I love. 

006. What muse/s have you enjoyed most seeing on this dash this year? - Lizzie is one of my favorites simply because I think Sadie writes her perfectly, and I always love seeing my ship partners on the dash because my stomach gets all fuzzy and I know good things are gonna happen.

007. What is your favorite thing your muse/s have done this year in the group? (can be in the real world or what you made up) - For Lili, it’s been the gift of all the pictures she’s released. She’s gorgeous, she’s real, and I love all the content she blesses us with. I’m also so proud of her work on Riverdale this year. She stepped up her game.

Keegan hasn’t done much but Million Miles Away was a jam and his podcast was great! In the group, I obviously was happy when he finally kissed Troian. ;) @itstbellisario

And Munro seems to have booked a lot of new projects so I’m excited for them to come out. His performance in Knuckleball is INCREDIBLE and just proves how good of an actor he is.

008. What would you like to see in HollywoodlandHQ in 2019? - Apart from events that pair up people who don’t interact much (which seems to be the biggest want), I’d love more themed events. I’d love supernatural!week, AU!week, holiday events, even more events like the earthquake that affects the whole group and not a select group of people. I also love when memes are done, even if we still need to improve on everyone playing them fairly. Memes that set up plots and help further IC drama will be worked on too. And obviously, I really want the group to keep growing! 

009. What is a plot you would love to do with your muse/s? - I’d love to do something dramatic with Lili - she’s clearly got a steady head on her shoulders and I don’t want to make her too OOC, but writing her struggle with something whether that be a relationship with somebody or with herself would be great with character development. 

With Keegan, I’m excited to work out his growing relationship with Troian. I can’t wait to write out all the beginnings of a ship and see what comes from it.

And with Munro, I’d really just like him to have more connections. I’d love to see more Degrassi fc’s in the group but also get him involved with more people. He’s a really goofy guy and he’s also loyal af, so he’d be great for friendship plots. Also, him developing something with Cristine and maybe fucking it up a little would be good drama!

010. Tag somebody in the RP and say something nice about them. It’s the season of giving. - To my fellow admins @diannahq, @elizajanetc, @itsgenevievegnt, @ohlizzo, @sebffs and @hcurly - I love you. I appreciate you SO much. You guys do tireless (and sometimes thankless) work to make this place running and an accepting place for everybody. Thanks for the Discord chats, the support for real life and roleplay, and always willing to step up and make this the greatest damn group in the game.

Katie - Even when I’m married, you’ll have my Netflix and Hulu password. Thanks for being the Lucy to my Troian, the Goose to my Shmian, and the Manny to my Emma. I love you. You’re always there for me, and you’re always keeping me honest and inspire me to be a better person.

KJ - I love you too and thank you for always believing in me and loving me more than I do myself. I can’t wait for another year of friendship with you.

Eena - You’re the best advice giver and the best ear to talk to. You always make me smile and nobody’s softer or kinder than you. I love you, you gentle soul.

Sadie - You’re a woman of mystery but we love you anyways. You’re probably our group mama and you keep us in line. You’re also incredibly supportive and talented.

Laura - I hope to get to know you even better in 2019! You’re always a sweetheart.

Nikki - I love your big heart and your willingness to do whatever to make everyone feel comfortable. You’re too pure for us.

Sam @theflashgrant @yochriswood - I’ve known you for so long and each year, my love for you grows stronger. I love the person you are and the person you’re becoming. You truly inspire me with your strength and if there’s anyone worthy of good things happening to them, it’s you. Thanks for always making me laugh and being there for me. I’m ride or die for you, lady.

My ship partners @coleffs @crisprosperi @itstbellisario - you two keep me inspired to log on here every day and I thank you for putting up with me. I love the relationships we’ve created and I love that you love them as much as I do. Thank you for the muse posts, the songs, the memes, and the IMs. Thank you for also being my friends. I’d be lost without you two. I love our babies and I can’t wait to see what we do in 2019.

Ally @hqmaia - <333333333333 is really all I can say. We may not ship here but 2019 is gonna be great for our ships too. I’m so happy you’re in this group as well!

My fellow Riverdale-ians @hqcami @kjapayo @hqmads @coleffs @hqnessa @ulrichisms - You guys are the greatest pretend co-workers ever. Riverdale forever. <3 Thank you for letting me live out the friendships I love and being so amazing at all of your roles.

And to all of the members, who I consider my family - without you, this group wouldn’t work. You all belong here. You all are safe here. And you all are loved here. Thank you for doing this meme and giving us feedback and spreading positivity. I couldn’t be prouder to be your admin and to write with you. I’m the luckiest RPer ever.

@hwlandhqgossip

[starlite-sin]

Thalia “Crystal” Sharp: Character in Universe Washed Away

NOTE: THIS IS HER ORIGINAL BIO. IN THE ROLEPLAYS WITH THIS CHARACTER AND PHANTOM/ MARE, MY DUMBASS FORGOT SHE WAS HIS KID, SO I HAD TO RENAME HER TO MAKE IT NOT WEIRD. She’s also the first egokid I made so she’s got a special place and I WILL keep bringing her up fight me

Basic Info:

Her birth name is Crystal, she changed it to Thalia after hearing Paultin’s stories

‘Adopted’ by Phantom

By adopted I mean, her bio parents sorta dumped her on the bar and never came back

She didn’t want to leave

With that being said, Abandonment issues off the charts

She used to go into full meltdowns if she could find anyone. There’s an interesting story about that.

Even though her dad’s a demon, she’s still human

She only has a little bit of powers from the exposure to demons, spirits, and general hell

When she was around 12, demons who hated her father discovered she was human and hunters thought she was a demon. So Mare, Paultin, and Rainer started teaching her to defend herself.

15: she went after ‘runaways’ who didn’t pay up

Phantom did not like that

Slightly spoiled.

Powers:

Very limited, and they take up a lot of energy

Smoke manipulation

She can also turn into smoke for a short time

She mostly has to use soul orbs with their powers

 Looks: (Please note that I am not Asian, but I like to cosplay my characters so she will not look like her source to a T)

Chinese-Korean

Black eyes

Blue/purple hair

Band Crop top that a little too big

Denim Shorts

Or skinny jeans

Converses if she has the shorts

Boots if she has the jeans

Freckles on her shoulders. They’re faint but they’re there.

She has piercings all up her ears

Edgy and Emo

She has a thing for winged eyeliner and blue lipstick

On her collar bone are scars that read Cagna. An Italian hunter did that when she was thirteen and they found out she was human, but willing lived with demons

5’5”

 Personality:

She can be a bit of a bitch

She can and will slap the seven shades of shit out of someone

Kinda ageist

She strongly dislikes boomers

And just assholes in general

Tease her about her height and she’ll bring you down to size.

HOWEVER: once you get to know her, she’s very chill

Inappropriate jokes at the wrong time

Really, she just doesn’t care as long as you don’t do something stupid

Then she’ll feel bad

She has incredible anxiety, but she has a hard time telling someone cause she doesn’t wanna be seen as attention seeking

So she bottles it up

Some with her depressive episodes. Or when she gets nightmares

Healthy, I know. /s

 Misc.

Bisexual

Was once in a relationship with Aileen Brody, but when she moved to be with her dad, they both respectfully cut it off

Still friends though

She can sing, just not like the alternative stuff her family can do

She’s had very few good maternal figures, aside from Cristine and Evelyn

So when puberty hit, it went exactly like how you’d imagine

She has a cousin named Danny, who’s a spirit.

She can and will trap you in a soul orb

18-19, but looks so much younger

Flunked math, go figure

 Playlist:

Infinite: Natewantstobattle

House of Memories: Panic!

LA Devotee: Panic!

Teenagers: MCR

Wake Up: Black Veil Brides

Faithless: Black Veil Brides

We are Ignited: Natewantstobattle

Sandcastle Kingdoms: Natewantstobattle

 Friends/Allies:

Aileen Brody

Aiden Brody

Keisha Mike (Mad Mike kid)

Danny (Mare kid)

Cassandra Warfstache

Tiffany Schneep-?

Alex McLoughlin (Jackieboy man kid)

Mystic McLoughlin (Marvin Kid)

Enemies:

Ashley Iplier (Actor Kid)

Vanessa Patrick (Madpat kid)

Amy Iplier (Dr. Iplier kid)

Hannah Iplier (Google Kid, cyborg)

Phineas Mcloughlin (JJ kid)

Penny Flynn (Shawn Flynn kid)

[ghoulsfriends]

Ghoulia Yelps

cristine prosperi as   Ghoulia Yelps

is the daughter of a Zombie. Although she can only speak in moans and grunts, she is incredibly intelligent, and is always using her genius to help out the school and her friends. Her pet is an owl named Sir Hoots A Lot.

Personality

Ghoulia is depicted as intelligent, sophisticated, timid, stressed out, and shy. She's a huge bookworm and is very intellectual; all of her fellow students call her the smartest ghoul at Monster High. It is revealed in her 'Basic' diary that she is good friends with Cleo de Nile because Cleo was willing to give her a chance, when zombies are typically discriminated against. Ghoulia can be very unhappy with Cleo often though because of her intelligence. Examples are in webisodes "Copy Canine" and when Cleo tells Clawdeen to copy from Ghoulia, or when Cleo steals her science project in "Mad Science Fair".

Age : 16 in monster years

Birthday : July 25th

Pet: Sir Hoots A Lot

BFFs : Cleo de Nile and everyone else at Monster High

Relationships

Family

Ghoulia lives with her parents, who are both zombies; it's not stated what their house looks like. Like Ghoulia, they're pretty slow, and they tend to be pretty hard-nosed, as per their refusal to allow Ghoulia to go to her favorite comic convention.[4] Both of them work for the Department of Monster Vehicles.[5]

In the Monster High book series, Ghoulia has an older sister called Moanica, who is in her senior year of high school.

Friends

Ghoulia is a girl who is friends with almost everyone, but there are two specific Monster High members she is especially close to. She is BFFs with Cleo de Nile, and they even plan their school schedules together.[6]Although she has a tendency to let Cleo take advantage of her, on one occasion Ghoulia displays great joy at being able to get back at Cleo for stealing her science project by repeatedly dunking Cleo in Lagoona's "Rehydration Chamber" in "Mad Science Fair".

Ghoulia and Frankie seem to connect on a sister-like level, such as when Frankie tried to be her 'wing-ghoul' in "Date of the Dead" while Heath was hitting on her, or when Ghoulia uses her smarts to help Frankie in "Bad Scare Day" and "Bad Zituation". Ghoulia is also good friends with Clawdeen and Clawd Wolf, who slightly look out for her. At least prior to Ghoulia acquiring a scooter, she regularly was given a ride home or to parties by the two.[7][8][9]

Pet

Ghoulia's pet is a baby blue owl named Sir Hoots A Lot, who is as eloquent and intelligent as his owner. He refuses to be Ghoulia's delivery owl (a possible reference to the owls in Harry Potter). In the anime version of the series, he does the talking for her.

Romance

Ghoulia has a crush on a zombie boy named Slo Mo, who's on the chess team and dodgeskull team. She writes about him in her diary[10] and the webisode "Cyrano de Ghoulia" is about how they meet. They can be seen dancing together at the Justin Biter concert in "New Ghoul @ School" and finally start dating in "Date of the Dead". Nonetheless, Ghoulia has a second suitor: another zombie boy, Don of the Dead. Don, who is a good friend of Slo Mo's, showed interest in Ghoulia and even fought with Slo Mo over her on one occasion. At the moment, Ghoulia and Don are just friends.

http://monsterhigh.wikia.com/wiki/Ghoulia_Yelps

[dykerightsmp3]

can you rec me some standalones?

okay yes!! here are all the standalones i’ve rated five stars

Suspense

Allegedly by Tiffany D. Jackson - Racism and a woman’s agency after abuse. I cried and I couldn’t stop reading. I don’t love the ending but it’s the only thing about this book that’s anything less than flawless. 

Genuine Fraud by E. Lockhart - This book is told backwards which somehow works (how??) and has the most morally black heroine ever.  

Dangerous Girls by Abigail Haas - You want to talk about unsettling writing and can’t-stop-reading goodness? It starts here. This book is popular for a reason. 

Dangerous Boys by Abigail Haas - Just as unsettling and can’t-stop-reading, but even creepier. The twists blew my mind. 

Slasher Girls and Monster Boys by Various - A story collection with some of the most brilliant writing and twists I’ve ever read. 

Realistic

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz - You want to be emotionally murdered and then resurrected? This book is for you. Ari is one of my fave fictional characters of all time. 

Getting Over Garrett Delaney by Abby McDonald - subversive feminist contemporary that makes you laugh. I’ve probably reread this more than any other book. 

How to Repair A Mechanical Heart by J.C. Lillis - One of the most real treatments of internalized homophobia I’ve ever read. Also laugh-out-loud funny. Want to read something that’s both important and heartwarming? It’s this book. 

Exit Pursued by a Bear by E.K. Johnston - Again, a book that’s both important AND heartwarming. It will make you cry and it will make you smile so hard your heart is about to burst. 

No Good Deed by Goldy Moldavsky - I have never laughed harder at a book in my entire life. I almost cried from how hard I laughed. It’s a parody of social justice culture, which could be incredibly offensive but is somehow completely not. This one restored my faith in the human race. 

Kill the Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky - her parody novels are just really good, okay?? this one’s about fandom culture but it really validates that culture and it’s great. 

Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver - Sam has one of the best character arcs I’ve read in my life. Probably the realest book about high school popularity. 

Simon Vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli - so fluffy and so cute and so pure??

My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult - A heartbreak and a half, with moral conundrums and great characters. 

Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky - I have never cried at a book like this before. 

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher - I know everyone has read this, but it’s seriously one of the best books I’ve ever read. It made me cry. 

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas - everyone’s reading this right now too, and I recommend joining them. It’s a brilliant, emotionally real book. Definitely a book that stays with you. 

Fantasy and Scifi

All Our Yesterdays by Cristin Teller - scifi with so many twists my brain exploded

More Than This by Patrick Ness - brilliant existentialist scifi that almost exploded my brain. the main character’s arc pushed my brain over the edge. 

Kissing the Witch by Emma Donoghue - every other fairy tale retelling can go home, because this book did it better. It’s actually fifteen different stories but so many of them are so brilliant and some of the lines are stuck in my head. this author really has a way with words. 

The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender by Leslye Walton - This book is worth a read for its beautiful prose, characters, and uniqueness. It’s short but it will both break and heal your heart. 

A Thousand Nights by E.K. Johnston - I LOVE THIS AUTHOR!! This is a feminist retelling of Arabian Nights, and it’s maybe the most brilliant thing ever written. 

Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly - what genre do i put this in? it’s a long, involved character study and also historical fiction and also scifi. You’ll never read anything like it again.

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Jeff York on The Establishing Shot: FIVE REASONS “PALM SPRINGS” IS THE YEAR’S BEST COMEDY

Original caricature by Jeff York of Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti in PALM SPRINGS (copyright 2020)

PALM SPRINGS made quite a splash when it debuted at Sundance this past January. The film was snatched up by Neon and Hulu for a cool deal reaching beyond 22 million. The transaction was worth every penny. Not only is the movie tremendously clever, but its story about a time loop is eminently relatable to a citizenry stuck in its own monotonous quarantine routine. Perhaps even more ironic is the fact that PALM SPRINGS is so incredibly watchable over and over and over again. (I’ve watched it three times in under two weeks.) You’ll see more with each viewing and likely laugh even more.

The sharp script by Andy Siara, a sure Oscar contender for Best Original Screenplay, starts on November 9 when main character Nyles (Andy Samberg) wakes up next to his girlfriend Misty (Meredith Hagner) in a Palm Springs villa. They’ve gathered there for the wedding of her BFF Tala (Camila Mendes) and fiancé Abe (Tyler Hoechlin). Nyles, however, is less than enthused about any of it. In fact, he’s positively bored, distracted, and even brazenly cynical about the whole shebang.

After bonding with an equally inebriated and sarcastic Sarah (Cristin Milioti) at the evening’s reception, Nyles takes the bride’s sister out into the desert to tryst. They’ve barely begun to disrobe when a surly guy named Roy (JK Simmons) shows up and shoots Nyles twice with a cross-bow. To escape, the wounded Nyles crawls towards a mysterious cave emanating a glowing light and warns Sarah not to follow him. Her curiosity gets the better of her though and both young people are sucked into the cave’s vortex.

That vortex turns out to be some sort of time warp and all who enter are then doomed to live the same day they entered over and over and over again. No matter how they change the events during those 24 hours, the outcome will remain the same. If you’ve ever seen GROUNDHOG DAY or EDGE OF TOMORROW, you’ll realize that these portals are quite unforgiving and unsolvable. The fun for the viewer is in watching those stuck in it try to change their lots. Nyles keeps trying to mix up the elements, but after months or even years in the maze, he’s become a hardened cynic.

One of the great things about PALM SPRINGS is that the plot concerns not one, but three people trying to escape their repetitive fates. Roy followed Nyles into the vortex months ago and is angry about it. Hence, he’s trying to take out his rage on Nyles by finding various ways to kill him each day.  Three times such victims are just one of the film’s brilliant conceits. Here are five others that make this comedy so exceedingly clever. (And yes, beware of spoilers in the coming analysis.)

THE FILM WASTES NO TIME One of the most surprising things about the film is how the film starts with Nyles and Roy already in the time loop. Yes, Sarah becomes a newcomer to it all, and in turn, serves as the audience surrogate, but the film doesn’t take an entire act to get going. Its wheels are already in accelerated motion from the moment the story starts. Siara’s script and Max Barbakow’s deft direction not only ensure the film has plenty of laughs, but a kinetic energy throughout as well.

THE FILM IS RIDICULOUSLY TIMELY Tired of staying indoors during the lockdown, working from home, wearing masks, and rocking the sweat pants for every occasion? (You’re wearing them on your Zoom calls, aren’t you?) If so, join the club, fellow pandemic sufferers! Of course, the makers of PALM SPRINGS had no way of knowing how relatable and timely their film would be in July, but their premiere on the 10th is a timing that would be the envy of Job.

THE YEAR’S BEST COMEDY IS ALSO ITS BEST ROMANTIC COMEDY It’s funny how few comedies stand out in any given film year, let alone one as adroit as this gem. Television took over the realm of comedy decades ago and it’s rare that even the best comedy film in any year can rival television’s superior comedy series. Yet, this comedy not only has an ingenious premise, crackling dialogue, strong characters, and sly production design, it has dozens upon dozens of genuine LOL moments. And they’re smart laughs too. Sure, some are easy, dirty jokes, but many are complex, dirty jokes too. And as if all those guffaws aren’t enough, the film also sneaks up on you with its romantic B story. Nyles and Sarah become friends, co-dependent, co-conspirators, and yes, lovers. You root for them to not only escape the day but cheer for them to stay a couple well beyond it.

IT’S BOTH OUTRAGEOUS AND GROUNDED How many films would know how to mine the sublime talents of JK Simmons by having Roy both curse out Nyles and deliver soulful life advice to him as well? In PALM SPRINGS, Roy utters the absurd phrase, “You gotta find your Irvine” and that quote may very well likely leave a tear in your eye. This film wants you to laugh a lot, but like any fiction about the future, it wants you to think about the present too. How are you managing today to ensure a better tomorrow? Of course, Nyles, Sarah, and Roy all learn to accept both the good days and bad in their predicament. At the very least, being stuck in Palm Springs beats being stuck in say, Gnome, Alaska, right?

IT WAS RELEASED ON VOD AND FOUND A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE Hulu and Netflix, by the nature of their platforms, have benefitted hugely from captive audiences self-isolating at home through the current virus crisis. Thus, PALM SPRINGS, along with films like DA 5 BLOODS and THE OLD GUARD, various VOD horror releases, as well as water-cooler miniseries like NORMAL PEOPLE and THE ALIENIST are smartly taking advantage all of us at home. So why aren’t more Hollywood studios releasing their films on VOD now? Christopher Nolan’s big summer tentpole TENET got pushed off the calendar altogether this past week so you’d think that Tinsel Town moguls would realize that the 2020 movie season is not going to be happening in theaters. Yet, there are plenty of empty spots on the VOD calendar, spots that PALM SPRINGS will all too gladly take advantage of and increase their viewership.

PALM SPRINGS is full of twists that you won’t see coming, is edited tightly with no fat, and has a dozen performances that are all sublime. Hopefully, SAG will remember this stellar ensemble when it’s time for their awards show – – whenever that may happen in 2021.) Indeed, Samberg does his best screen work in PALM SPRINGS, managing the serious as well as the funny. Milioti continues to bloom as one of the brightest young actresses working today. She seems to have a knack too for playing ingenues caught in bizarre portals as evidenced by her sharp portrayal in the USS CALLISTER episode of BLACK MIRROR two seasons ago. Hagner’s a hoot, Hoechlin plays a good cad, and it’s so nice to see a veteran performer like Peter Gallagher make the most of his wonderfully juicy moments as the exasperated father of the bride.

Before your friends telling you too much about it, watch PALM SPRINGS. And if you’ve seen it already, watch it again. And then again. Its treasures, large and small, will help you forget the fact that you’ve spent well over four months now trapped in your own time warp.

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Palm Springs Timeline Explained

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This article contains Palm Spring spoilers. Our spoiler-free review is here.

Time loop movies are quickly becoming a genre, and we are here for it. The paterfamilias of the concept on screen is of course Harold Ramis’ existential romantic comedy, Groundhog Day, but we’ve seen the concept repeatedly riffed on ever since in everything from big action blockbusters (Source Code, Edge of Tomorrow) to slasher movies and indie thrillers (Happy Death Day and The Endless, respectively). So it was inevitable someone would eventually circle back to using the idea of a perpetual time loop for romance. Luckily the first film to do so is the exceedingly clever Palm Springs.

A millennial rom-com stuck on repeat, Palm Springs slyly deconstructs some potentially problematic aspects about Groundhog Day while offering a smart variation on the concept of love through trial and error on the same day. And director Max Barbakow and screenwriter Andy Siara are aided greatly in this by the general appeal of Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti, who turn two potentially unlikable malcontents into a charming pair of co-dependent adult-children searching for maturity. But how they got into their predicament, and how long they’ve been stuck there is a little more complicated than other time loop movies. So we’re here to unpack the timeline in the movie, and how and why events occur.

The Jurassic Period

Following in Groundhog Day’s tradition, an exact explanation for our temporal glitch in spacetime remains elusive, but we know it is caused by a glowing physics anomaly in a cave located in modern day Southern California. And it’s been there a very long time. Since at least the late Jurassic period around 150 million years ago, to be exact. We can trace that because on one magical drug-fueled night shared by Nyles (Samberg) and Sarah (Milioti), the pair see what looks like several Apatosauruses (or Brontosauruses) in the distance. It’s dark, they’re high, and the movie is hinting that it could just be a hallucination, but nope. In the final frame before the end credits, we see the long-necked dinosaurs again just wandering around.

It’s a fun wink and one that suggests this isn’t some temporary gimmick created by the universe to improve Nyles and Sarah as human beings; they’re trapped in a temporal loop by something that has existed since dinosaurs walked the earth and potentially much longer. It’s fair to wonder if the time loop is as old as the planet, if not the universe, with these gentle giants roaming the same plains for eternity. But you know what? Good for them! When you think about it from the dinos’ perspective, Nyles and Sarah are throwing away the gift of eternity like suckers.

Nyles

We of course don’t see Nyles’ first day in the time loop—and we may not have seen a moment from even his first million. It is intentionally vague how long he’s been trapped in this time loop, but certainly years and probably decades have passed when the film begins. Refreshingly breaking from the formula established by Groundhog Day, we as viewers have skipped the early sense of exploration, the subsequent gleeful anarchy without consequences that follows, and finally a brief nihilistic despair. Rather we meet Nyles after he’s come to a happy resignation toward his fate. Hey, at least he gets to wear the same shorts and Hawaiian shirt each day and either aid or subvert the wedding he’s attending however he chooses.

We can be pretty sure that it’s been ages since it began because he already knows about everyone in town, from his cheating girlfriend to the deal about the local barflies. In a pinch, he can even call on a memory about the bearded hermit still pining for the woman who took his virginity when he needs to steal the dude’s car. Plus, as he tells Sarah, he first met J.K. Simmons’ Roy in the “early days” when he was still exploring the wedding’s guests and probing them with a sense of curiosity. Hell, he was even still wearing a suit in those before times.

If those early days were actually early years, then many more must have passed since then. Whatever the case may be, we can deduce that on the original day zero, he must’ve come into this desert after there was a morning earthquake which opened up the cave hiding a time paradox. I’d speculate it was at night after the wedding—perhaps he even was on a drunken bender after discovering Misty (Meredith Hagner) was cheating on him? In any event, he entered the cave and I’d guess the next 40 or 50 years remained much the same ever since… just long enough for him to forget what he even did for a job in the way, way back.

Roy

While we only discover Roy’s full story late in the movie. Roy is a man who married (or remarried) late in life and started a family even later. But despite all that time to reflect on the transience of existence, he still was missing his early wilder days when he made a fateful drive from Irvine down to Palm Springs, California. He’d regret it.

Seeing Nyles as simply someone stuck in a funk like himself at the bar, Roy laments that marriage is a bottomless pit that, somehow, still has a bottom. He also tries to relive glory days by doing drugs with the much younger man. As a consequence, Nyles introduces the cousin of the groom’s daddy to a cave that both condemns and improves the old guy. Oh sure, Roy periodically lets out his bloodlust every few weeks by driving down to Palm Springs to hunt Nyles for sport and then go Jigsaw on him, but by and large, he spends more time living his suburban life until he can finally appreciate it.

If he met Nyles in the “early days,” then Roy has been trapped in the time loop almost as long as Samberg’s protagonist. So I’d again speculate years or decades have passed. But it’s also been long enough for even this old man to finally grow up and really appreciate the prospect of spending family time with his children and seeing them come of age. Living long enough to regret not paying the kids enough attention, Roy may yet be able to do the whole father “thing” right when he gets out of the time loop and comes back home. Which thanks to the post-credits scene, we know is only a matter of time.

Sarah

And yet, it’s the introduction of Sarah into the timeline that really sets events in motion for both hapless man-children she’s stuck in this loop with. Indeed, the plot only begins on the particular trip around the loop in which she follows Nyles into the cave.

Making Sarah the catalyst for everything that comes afterward also allows Palm Springs to lightly interrogate aspects of the undeniable classic Groundhog Day. In that movie, Bill Murray’s Phil Connors spends most of his decades (or centuries) in the time loop trying to court his co-worker Rita Hanson (Andie MacDowell) and get her into bed. While he never succeeds until the end of the film, where he isn’t trying and has actually displayed true enlightenment and self-betterment, he is still rewarded with her love in a single day… all while she’s oblivious to the fact he’s studied her like a cross between a stalker and anthropologist for years. He also has slept around the small town they’re trapped in.

Despite Nyles’ protestations to the contrary in Palm Springs, he likewise did sleep with Sarah apparently many times (he uses the word a “thousand”). The reason she can be shocked that he’s only slept with a handful of people at the wedding and local bar is because he viewed her as an easy mark, time and again, when he was feeling horny. He also was using an invisible position of power over the timeline to manipulate her, just as Phil attempted to manipulate Rita, and did successfully manipulate other women in Groundhog Day.

The grossness of this act is brought out into the glaring light of day in Palm Springs with Sarah distancing herself from Nyles for the remainder of the movie’s second act, effectively ghosting him for his creepiness. Her character also challenges the simplicity of Groundhog Day’s ending, because being a better person does not necessarily equate to a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. But then one could argue Sarah isn’t being a better person when she tells her sister on her wedding day that she slept with the groom the night before—and only to please some God she hopes is watching.

But Sarah is also incredibly flawed. As she mentioned, she’s already made plenty of mistakes that felt like she was living on autopilot before the time loop. She married a dude she knew wasn’t right for her, even before he proposed, and still went through with it, hurting both their lives with the brief, ugly marriage that followed. And rather than reach toward actual self-improvement, she self-destructively pursued a one night stand with her sister’s fiancé the night of the rehearsal dinner.

It is her own failings that allow her to eventually see Nyles and their situation clearly…

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End of Day

Which is why it’s Sarah who brings an end to the time loop in the movie. Unlike Nyles or Roy, she doesn’t wallow in complacency but attempts to solve a problem, using what is at least months if not years to become a pseudo-expert in quantum physics. Ironically, this is made possible by the fact she slept with the groom the night before. For this reason, she always wakes up early in the day before Nyles does—as she originally awakened to get out of his room without being seen—and leaves the ranch house while Nyles is still fast asleep.

Eventually Sarah realizes that the three-plus second quantum leap they all make to restart their time loop is actually a trip through a literal hole in space time…. one that can theoretically be escaped. While the logic of using C4 to escape said time loop by literally blasting their bodies out of the loop seems dubious at best—wouldn’t they still be blowing themselves up even if it worked?—it creates a narrative excuse to bring the movie’s larger themes to a head.

Most pertinently this includes the sad truth about Nyles: He enjoys the regression of being trapped in this time loop and he’d rather spend eternity reliving the same day and same dippy wedding than face the uncertainty of living his life… or growing up. This is highlighted throughout the movie in the way his preference is to spend eternity in shorts and perpetually drunk with a beer can in hand. While Roy is furious he’s trapped in this loop when he realizes he’ll never see his children grow up, Nyles is cool with never seeing his children or, hell, even his dog again.

In fact, it’s kind of damning to note he never mentioned his dog to his new girlfriend, a woman he claims to love, after spending months or years with her. Such shallowness suggests he really isn’t growing up; he’s just afraid of spending eternity alone. Hence my serious doubts about Nyles and Sarah being a long-term couple.

She previously talked about not wanting to relive the same mistakes again and again, and that was in reference to her marrying a man she knew was wrong for her. Nyles’ desperation was enough to get him to accept he should grow older and not remain in the arrested development many millennials are accused of embracing, but it was a reluctant decision. Methinks when she is outside the loop and has the “millions of other options” of men besides Nyles out there… this ain’t going to last for an eternity.

The post Palm Springs Timeline Explained appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[igiti2019]

Day 5 (5/23)

Great day great day great day great day

Today we woke up early for our first day of work! When I woke up I went to the kitchen to hard boil the eggs I bought at the Kimironko Market. One of them cracked and then another one broke while I was peeling it and became an eggy shelly mess, so I threw those away and put the rest in the fridge and decided I would reap the benefits of my culinary work another day. Then we walked to Java House, the cute cafe with the sun logo, and I got a medium americano to go, since we had no time for breakfast. Outside Java House we got a cab and were on our way to work! When we first arrived at work at 10 we went to the third floor where the employees work and filled into a small meeting room that was available. This was perfect because it was small enough for just us 3, it had outlets and a fan, and with the door closed we were able to talk and collaborate. A few moments after getting settled in, Laura, the head of diversity at Kepler, poked her head in to tell us that if we had any questions or wanted to interview her and get her help on anything to let her know. We love Laura. But we had work to do, so we looked at our first deliverable which was to summarize key points of a data set that included data from 3 different sites of Kepler’s college preparation program called ITEME (“small log bridge” in Kinyarwanda). So we each took one site and spent 2 hours in that room summarizing the data! Finding trends, finding differences in gender, in refugees vs. non-refugees, etc. and then comparing the data across sites. At 12, we orded food from Java House with an app called Jumia, which is just like Rwanda’s Uber Eats. We decided we needed a change of scenery, so we went down to the great hall where all of the students can hang out and work, and we claimed a long table in the corner of the room and waited for our food. My lunch was so. Damn. delicious. I got a small dish of rice, a small dish of steamed vegetables, and a small dish of fried plantains, but of course the serving sizes in Rwanda are huge despite the incredibly cheap prices, so I was only able to finish half of it. The other half I’ve boxed up and will have tomorrow, hopefully with one of my prized hard-boiled market eggs. We didn’t do much work during lunch, just talked. Then after lunch we went back upstairs to the quiet room with everyone’s desk offices as I’m calling them, and for about 1 or 2 hours all silently worked on our data, going more in depth, doing other research, etc. until we finished our independent work and needed to collaborate again so we went back to our beloved available meeting room. We worked on our work plan in there until someone came in and kicked us out because they had it reserved for a meeting, and we returned to the great hall downstairs. We finalized that on a weekly basis we’ll plan to be at the office Monday - Friday, and just be very loose about taking days off to attend conferences or work remotely, which I think is just perfect. We also set rough deadlines for each of our 3 deliverables throughout the summer, including work for the case study that we’re meant to be compiling for the class that sent us here in the first place. After we finalized those two schedules Zodi and Ananya talked about some extra curriculars that they have in common until we called a cab and went home. At home things got a little bit icky, because we were all tired after our first day at work, and some of our different preferences were coming up about wifi and electricity use, work schedules, just different differences that will inevitably arise when people live together. I got upset when Zodi gave me some trouble for being so stringent with saving electricity and wifi, so I just isolated myself for a bit and went to my room to cool off. Cried a bit, took an anxiety med, and shook it off, because an hour later we had dinner with our boss in town. We were already kind of running late because it was taking too long to find a cab so we decided to walk, but then Ananya forgot her anti-malarial pills so we had to go back to the apartment but after that we were able to get a cab and make our way to Chez Lando, a higher end restaurant attached to a hotel. Our boss was there waiting for us (she’s really chill so she wasn’t mad at all), and we all sat down and ordered food. For the first time, we experienced what we had all read about – Rwandan service taking forever! Before coming here, we’d all read that restaurant meals can take up to 2 hours just to be delivered to the table, and that’s just a normal thing in Rwanda, but we weren’t experiencing that anywhere we went, we actually noticed that waiters were extremely pleasant and very attentive to our needs. But tonight the dinner took 90 minutes (Ananya timed it) to arrive. But it was well worth the wait! Ashley (boss lady) and Zodi both got Ugali, which is kind of like the outside of mochi if you can imagine that, but as a big blog, and you pick it up with your fingers and use it to then pick up and act as the starchy background for whatever else you ordered, usually spinach, stew, or meats. I’ve wanted to try it since we got here, but unfortunately Zodi and Ashley’s dishes both had meat. But I’m happy that I saw it! It reminded me to look for it next time we go somewhere that might have it. As for me, I got two plates LOADED with vegetables that made my heart sing. I ordered a plain omelette, a vegetable shishkabob, and potato croquettes (a lot of my meals here consist of me ordering things I can eat off of the sides menu and constructing my own meal and I LOVE it), and of course I got one plate with a huge omelette and tons of fresh veggies on the side (including half an avocado oh my god), and another plate with a gigantic roasted veggie skewer, three huge potato croquettes, and for some reason also boiled peas and carrots. It was so damn good. It all cost $4. So… yeah. I’m pretty sure my eyes were just giant stars when the waitress put it in front of me. It looked like a lot, and I thought I would be able to save some of it to add to my lunch tomorrow, but I surprised myself with how quickly I actually finished it! (Except for one of the potato croquettes I gave to Zodi and the fresh veggies that I couldn’t eat bc they’re raw and potentially have cholera bacteria on them but I did eat the avocado because it has a peel so sue me.) During the 90 minute wait and the meal afterwards, Ashley told us about her time living in India in college, her time doing the Peace Corps in Guatemala, her eventual move to Rwanda, her recent move within Rwanda, and her upcoming move to Ethiopia (uhhh… hello.. Can you say “dream life”?????????) We asked her questions about Kepler, and WE FOUND OUT THAT IT’S ACTUALLY SAFE FOR US TO GO TO KIZIBA REFUGEE CAMP. This is huge for me. We had been worried that the recent Ebola outbreak in DRC would make it unsafe to visit the Kiziba Refugee camp, one of Kepler’s campuses, but Kiziba hasn’t accepted any new refugees from DRC in years! I can’t even explain how much it means to me that I will soon be stepping foot onto what I’ve built all of my work around, all of my goals, all of my projects and classes and research. When Ashley saw my excitetment at the news, she stopped smiling for one of the only times that night, and warned me that, “It’s really… a lot. It’s extremely difficult to be there and see it, especially for you guys who have never seen something like it before. But as soon as you get there, people will be following you and touching you, and the poverty is really extreme.” But I’m so ready. I want to see, I want to experience, I want to understand, and then I want to think, and I want to help. June is Refugee Awareness Month, and June 20 is World Refugee Day, so this timing is pretty serendipitous. We need to send our passports to the government and get government clearance to go, and we always need to tell them when we plan to go so that they expect us. (It’s a 4 hour drive up a mountain, so we couldn’t just pop by anyways.) The Kiziba campus graduation is July 5th, so Ashley said that we could certainly go with Kepler for that, but I’d like to go sooner if possible, even just once. It’s $100 to get a 4-wheel drive car (which is necessary for the journey) to take us there, but that’s only $20 more than a regular car would cost. Kepler employees are there Monday - Friday, too, so we would have people who could show us around and speak English with us. At our dinner we also found out that Sylvia, who had become our new supervisor after Obed was leaving to work at a different Kepler location, was now also leaving for a new job somewhere else. So next week we’ll find out who our new supervisor is! It’s too bad, because Sylvia and Obed seem great, but we’ve also met some very cool employees at Kepler like Laura, Cristine, Teppo, Joell, they all seem great, and Ashley seemed confident that we were being placed with the right person. We were ALSO told that tomorrow the president of Southern New Hampshire University, Kepler’s biggest partner, is coming with a group of about 35 people! Ashley is coordinating the whole thing, so she said that we could go and be flies on the wall, but we can’t talk to her because she will be at maximum stress limits. It’s 8:45-12, so I’m hoping we can go at 8:45 and see as much as possible. After that, we’ll hopefully meet with Sylvia to finalize our work plan and get ideas from her about where to go for data, etc. Then it sounded like Ananya and Zodi didn’t want to do a full work day tomorrow, so I’m not sure what will happen after that. Bruno (landlord) is bringing us a rice cooker tomorrow, so I may go back to Kimironko Market and buy some more eggs (since I’ve already lost 3) and some rice by the kilo. 6 organic eggs for $1.20! Did I already tell y’all that?! Anyways after dinner Zodi and Ananya said they no longer wanted to go happy hour at the Inema Arts Center so I had to text Innocent and tell him we would be there next week. Which was very sad, and I really wish we could’ve gone, it would’ve been nice to celebrate our first day of work with 2 for 1 wine!!!! But also it was late, and we need to get up early especially if we’re going in at 8:45! So we taxied home with the SWEETEST French-speaking old man I have ever met and I love him with all my heart and I wish we could’ve gotten his number and used him as our driver every time. (Most taxi drivers give strangers their numbers so that they’ll just call them instead of calling a random cab) He would even be perfect because since he drove us to our impossible-to-find apartment, he knows where it is! If I ever get in his cab again I’ll get his number… We came inside and I took.. My first… RWANDAN SHOWER. (That’s what I’ll be calling it.) But like full on cold shower with a detached shower head I had to move around me without spraying water, squatting down to wash my hair so I wouldn’t get water everywhere, it was great. Very refreshing of course, but also I always love experiencing those little things that make a country definitely different from my country, even if it’s “less comfortable” or considered “worse”. ANY part of a new culture, good or bad, I love discovering it. Now I’m in my room writing this under my mosquito bed net, which I actually love. It’s like a fort. When I got back to my room after my shower and got changed, I threw my phone, backpack, and water bottle under the net and then climbed in. I just throw anything I need for the night in, and then get in! It’s just like a fort!! I love it. Okay that’s all I have to report on today. We used up over half our wifi that we had bought for 30 days in just 3 days, so I’ll post pictures tomorrow when I have work wifi….

Peace!